#but let it be known: I hate it when people tell others to hurt themselves in anyway. I am more self-deprecating than to do that.
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agriocnemis ¡ 10 days ago
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I am finding it increasingly annoying that people misunderstand me or assume things about me that feel extremely off from how I actually mean to come off or just... am.
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beast-of-the-void ¡ 6 months ago
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#My little sister is an asshole- dad was warned by mom when she was like 14 and he did nothing by mom of all people#she's callous-hurtful-abusive-underhanded-crass-and somehow draws people to her despite giving the aura of “toxic”#He was asking me if I liked the new car-I said no because she was in it- that she didn't bother meeting my eyes nor greeting me#Only reason she was driving was to rub it in that “daddy loves me the best- look at my car he bought me”#It has taken every ounce of restraint I have to not look at her son and tell him every beating I've taken because of and on her behalf#But that is between me and her until it isn't- I hated being pitted against my parents even when they were being vile#Dad's excuse for letting it all happen is that he wasn't the one in the crosshairs cuz somehow that negates the EVIL she did to us#I have been made aware of TWO other instances besides mine of her literally trying to get someone to off themselves- unforgivable#Makes me wonder if she has gotten away with it before and is chasing that high again- I'd like to think not but I am not discounting my gut#I really wish that at least one adult in my life had given a fuck about how we were going to end up- one emotionally mature adult#Then! Dad tried to defend himself about pulling a gun on her ex- like taking a dog was worth a fucking life- give me a break asshole#If you cared at fucking all about the kid you wouldn't have immediately sided with the monster just because of shared blood#But hey- I'm the one that needs to inherit the shitshow from him- if I outlive him- Kinda hope the universe is spiteful and lets me off 1st#Is having a place to get away from this so I don't have to rely on them so much to ask for? I don't want their affection anymore#I really want out of this family- I don't even want to help the kids anymore- does that make me selfish?- I don't know#I have been trying to talk to babysis about any of this given our small bond- but it's so gd fleeting- we're all terminally lonely people#I long for a place I have never been- people I haven't met- warmth I've never known. spirituality has nothing for me#neither does the mundane#Let me get this story out of my head and hands and we'll circle back to the topic of escape. I just want to sleep now- so I'll do just that
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messylustt ¡ 3 months ago
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 ݁   𓂃 ៸៸៸ deer in headlights — rafe cameron + reader ( obx ) : when trying to help your sad friend at a party leads to an unexpected kiss from rafe.
contents : slight dick!rafe. nsfw intentions (not full on sex tho). slight dubcon (not heavy or roughly forced) tittie licking/sucking. tittie grab. kissing.
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your eyes scanned the party mess. it had only been an hour or so. but more than likely people came drunk way before. most go from party to party, trying to find one that won’t get busted. we’ll see how long this one lasts.
girls yelping, some giggling, most a boy crazy mess. guys hollering, others giggling themselves, nearly twirling their hair at the bent over girls “enjoying” their drinks. you couldn’t help but smile. even though you never found yourself in the centre of it all, you were far from hating the experience.
but that’s when you spotted your friend, scarlet, bolt upstairs, pushing her sleeve down to her fingertips to wipe the mix of tears and mascara from her face. you stood up, tilting past the edge of the couch to reach her.
“scarlet!” you call, trying to quicken your steps. what had happened? she either ignores you or simply can’t hear over the drowning base of the music.
you follow her upstairs. “scarlet?” you call again. and this time she shifts her gaze, her head turning towards you.
“hey..” you smile softly reaching her side. “what’s wrong? why the tears?”
scarlets bottom lip quivers, even if she trying to force it down, while her brows remain furrowed and bent with hurt. she looks as though she wishes to say something, but then she gulps. her expression pales as she rushes into the bathroom, but not before she shuts the door stopping you from entering.
scarlet was always a little complicated. easily embarrassed despite her confidence.
there’s a moment where all you can hear is puking as you try to turn the handle finding that the door is locked. “no. don’t come in.” she says, breathless after a moment.
“scarlet—“ you say in protest, wanting to help. “no! please.” she replies, cutting you off.
you sigh, knowing she hates anyone seeing her puke. “i just wanna help.” you try.
“no I—“ you can hear her hiccuped breathing. “i don’t want him to know…” her tone is almost pitiful.
“who?” you ask standing by the door.
“kelce…”
“kelce?” your brows furrow before thinning out. “is he the boy you kept telling me about?”
she sniffles. “maybe..”
“scarlet…” you say softly “what happened?”
“it was a joke. all of it. ‘sleep with the slut’.” she scoffs. “just because i like boys…a lot of them doesn’t mean i’m some…look liking dick shouldn’t be some god awful issue.”
your brows furrow again, but this time in anger. you hadn’t known kelce that well. only through living on this island, like most. but you had thought he was merely a guy looking to stay ‘cool’ or ‘popular’, not an outright dick.
not like his friend, rafe. rafe cameron. now, if anyone was to easily be called a ‘dick’ it would be him.
“are you sure i can’t come in?” you ask. “please just…” she replies, to which you ease her. “it’s okay. just relax…let me go get you some water.”
you rush back downstairs, squeezing past the out of tuned drunks, and high teens. you head to the kitchen. but as you do, you catch a conversation going on in the hallway.
“i fucked her over man…” the voice, you can identify as kelce’s. “i…why did i do that?”
“hey, calm down. don’t get worked up alright?” the other voice…rafe’s.
“nah man..” kelce sounds stressed, almost on the verge of tears.
“listen to me man. it was a stupid joke. she shouldn’t have taken it to heart, yeah?” rafe’s tone is dismissing towards scarlet, which honestly doesn’t leave you very surprised.
“fuck..” kelce mutters “but now she doesn’t…want me…want anything to do with me most likely.”
“then move on.” rafe replies, speaking as though that concept is a breeze.
“move on…” kelce mutters, repeating slowly.
“yeah, move on. you’re at a party for christs sake. have fun. plenty of girls around.” rafe replies, hitting kelce’s shoulder by the sounds of it.
you peek slightly round the corner to watch them.
kelce sighs rubbing his head roughly.
“go get ‘em man. go on” rafe pats kelce’s back as he slightly pushes him towards the heat of the party. you quickly return behind the doorway as he passes.
you wait a moment before looking back to where they were talking to find rafe staring straight back at you. you pause, blinking. rafe’s head tilts, his expression not one of surprise, as if he had spotted you the moment your head poked out.
“you always eavesdrop?” rafe takes a swig from his beer. you step out, darting your gaze slightly.
“i was just getting some water…for my friend.” you reply as he begins to head over to you.
“yeah?” he hums nodding, as he stops a few step distances from you. “does that water trip include spying?”
“i didn’t catch much.” you reply.
“yeah, how much did you catch, deer?” he asks, his gaze darting over your face and down your body as if he’s trying to place you.
your brows furrow. “didn’t know you were one for…names like that.”
rafe scoffs “i meant ‘deer’ as in a deer caught in headlights, not the other ‘dear’.” he says tapping his beer bottle on your nose, gesturing to your round eyes.
your nose scrunches in response as you lean back, rubbing it. “i’m not ‘caught in headlights.’”
“no?” he replies. “or maybe you’re just starstruck.”
“by you?” you ask raising your brows. “i’m sorry, but you don’t have that ‘wonder’ to you, rafe.”
“a lot of girls think different.” he replies. “you’d look at me with ‘wonder’ if you’ve been seeing stars all night.”
you pause, staring at him, before his words register. “ew, rafe.”
“ouch.” he replies, completely unbothered, taking a swig.
“the majority of people who you make see ‘stars’ are those who have a ‘your-shaped-fist’ indent in their face.” you say edging back into the kitchen, preferring that this conversation ends sooner than later.
rafe scoffs, his face dropping, as he steps after you. “you’re not clever.”
“you seemed affected though.”
“re-size your brain, it ain’t that big”
you raise your hands in innocence, as you turn towards the sink, grabbing a clean empty glass. rafe leans up again the kitchen island, his legs planted in a slight spread.
you glance back at him, wondering why he’s still here.
he watches you.
“look, i’m sorry for eavesdropping. i only cared because…” you pause instinct telling you not to talk about your friend with the likes of rafe. but he clearly already knows.
“oh you got a reason? you’re not just simply…nosy?” rafe gives a fake-surprised look, as you stare blankly at him.
“you’re talking as if you know me.”
“i do know you.” he replies simply.
“no, um…you don’t.” you look confused.
“yeah…i do.”
“maybe we’ve had like…one proper conversation…” you say.
“nah, more than that.” why rafe is saying such simple sentences is a bother to you.
“alright, well…just because we’ve talked a couple times doesn’t mean you ‘know’ me.” you say filling the glass up with water looking back to the sink.
“you think I pay no attention to the people on this island?”
“yeah, sure, briefly. i do the same.” you reply shrugging. “you’re acting as though you know my favourite colour or something.”
“orange.”
you look to rafe, staring at him. “what?”
he crosses his arms, placing his beer to the side. “no, obviously i don’t know your favourite colour. i’m talking about behavioural observations, not stalker material, doll.”
“i thought you weren’t one for names like that.”
“i’m not.” he replies so simply again.
you look back to him seeing that he’s not going to explain any further. “okay…” you mutter moving past him with the glass of water.
“that for kelce’s fuck buddy?” rafe asks staying against the island.
you pause “I’m sorry?”
“what’s her name again?” rafe hums. “sophie?”
“scarlet.” you say with a frown. “and she was never kelce’s fuck buddy. she liked him.”
“yeah, most do like who they fuck.” rafe turns to you.
you narrow your gaze. “your buddy kelce may have thought of it like that, but she never did.”
“hearts break.” rafe states stepping closer “big deal.”
“yeah, it is a big deal. she’s hurt. and fair enough, cause if I got treated like that I’d react the same.”
“would you?” rafe asks. “have you?”
“gotten treated like that? luckily no. but it’s because she puts herself out there way more than me. she’s confident. actually gives it a go.”
“what a star.” rafe mocks.
“you’re all talk, rafe.” you say “because if a girl hurt you like that, I’d think you’d be worse.”
“really?” he looks down at you. “and what happened to not knowing each other that well?”
“you’re a loud bully. i’d have to be deaf not to easily hear about the things you’ve done.”
“you make it sound so dramatic.” rafe scoffs.
“you are rather dramatic.”
“look, doll,” rafe begins leaning down to level with you. “you can nurse sophie back all you want, comfort her, but you’re really not helping.”
“how so? do you have a better idea to help?” you ask raising your brows.
“yeah.” rafe says darting his gaze “enjoy the party. let them deal with it.”
“deal with it? you told kelce to go scout the girls here.” you say.
“yeah, and you actually think he listened to that? kelce is a bleeding heart. sensitive like a fucking kids movie.” rafe states. “no, he’s gone to talk to her. she’s crying in the bathroom right? i guarantee he’s there too.”
“and what makes you think she’d want to see him?”
rafe shrugs. “not our problem.”
“she’s my friend. of course it’s—“
but rafe cuts in, grabbing your shoulders. “not. our. problem.” he states slowly. “you think you rushing in there is going to help? they need to talk. kelce needs to talk.” rafe chuckles. “though if I were him, I wouldn’t bother, find someone new.”
“well thank god she didn’t sleep with you.” you mutter.
“jealous?”
“oh yes.” you nod sarcastically. “wouldn’t want her stealing you away.”
rafe’s lips quirk up. “yeah?”
“you look way too happy that i said that.” you eye him.
rafe grabs his beer off the kitchen island, bringing it between you both. “drink.”
you look at the bottle then back to his face. you shake your head. but rafe just nods, bringing the bottle to your lips. you lift your hand to protest but your glass of water spills a fraction making your hands pause, and giving him enough time to tilt the beer into your mouth.
you’re instinct is to swallow, before you step back, wiping your lips. “ew, rafe.”
“do you find everything disgusting or just when it involves me?” rafe asks taking a sip of his own from the beer bottle.
you meet his gaze staying silent, as he frowns.
“i’m not some troll.” he scoffs.
“could’ve fooled m—“
but rafe cuts in. “don’t finish that.”
you press your lips together, almost smiling, despite yourself.
“don’t smile either.” this time rafe looks disgusted. “you look demented…” he then pauses. “…or pretty, hard to say.”
you scoff “great save.”
“i try.” his lips quirk up again. he looks around a moment before his smile fades, finding a certain spot behind you.
you look behind you also seeing a girl who’s gaze is hardened on you both. you shift your gaze back to rafe but he’s far closer then before. you instinctively lean back.
“don’t be annoying now.” rafe says.
“i’m just moving back.” you reply, not seeing the problem.
“hm.” rafe hums, rolling his eyes. though that action doesn’t seem to be for you, but for the girl staring.
“katie, right?” you say in reference to the girl.
“ew.” rafe replies.
“ew?”
“i thought you were well aquatinted with that word?” he steps closer to you, glaring at the girl. “what a pest.” he mutters.
you look back to katie, who’s gaze hasn’t shaken. “you with her or something?”
“don’t ever say that again.” rafe says harshly. “little bitch doesn’t know when to quit.”
“it must be that ‘wonder’ you possess.” you say shrugging.
rafe looks to you, deadpanned. “funny.”
“i’m just saying. which is why i’m confused that you’re bothered.”
“when I kiss someone, i want to like it.” rafe states blandly. “i didn’t like it, so that’s why she’s not over here and instead over there.”
you stare at him. “okay. then have you talked with her about that?”
“uh huh.” rafe says. “in one ear and out the other.”
rafe then focuses fully on you, an idea almost displayed in his eyes. you look back at him confused, your eyes darting a little nervously at the intensity of his sudden attention.
“are you a good kisser?”
rafe’s question makes you pause, even more confused, your eyes widening a fraction. “what?”
“c’mere.” he murmurs, his finger curling into one of your jean loops at your hips.
“wow, wow—“ you rush out placing your hands on his chest as he tugs you closer.
“look convincing.” he hums tilting your chin up. his lips reach yours, stepping against you.
your eyes flutter shut at the closeness. his mouth moves against yours, finding your bottom lip as his tongue drags. the suddenness of it all makes your head spin.
rafe begins to smile against your mouth, either at katie’s reaction, or potentially yours. his tongue doesn’t let up as it slides between your lips, reaching your own. his hand grabs your glass placing it aside before he reaches for your hair sliding his fingers between the strands.
your lips feel wet now, swollen, as you clench at his shirt to breath. he lets up leaning back a fraction. you’re blinking, licking your own lips in shock. you knew they were now red.
“what…what was that?” you whisper. you pause then glance back to katie who’s gaze is like thunder but she finally looks away, heading outside to the busy pool. “oh...” you say. “to make her jealous? really?”
“no, to make her leave.” rafe replies, his tone almost distant, as his gaze is stuck on your mouth. he then leans down and kisses you again, stopping your tongue from dragging along your lip repeatedly. he was far too eager this time around.
and this time you step back.
rafe nearly follows your lips.
“rafe…she’s gone, you can stop now.” you mutter fixing your hair.
rafe then murmurs. “didn’t I say if i don’t like it leave?”
“which is rather rude when you’re actually kissing a girl.” you reply, a little flustered, as you reach for the glass.
rafe slides it away. “you kissed back.”
“i was surprised.” you say.
“glad you have that instinct then.” rafe muses. to which you turn away aiming to leave the kitchen.
but rafe steps after you. “what, going back to sophie?”
“scarlet.” you say. “and yes. I’ve left her for too long.”
rafe blocks your exist. “you don’t like me, i get that. but if you want to help your friend, let them talk. and in the mean time, enjoy yourself.”
“so you’re suggesting I go outside then? maybe to the pool.” you say, as he shakes his head.
“no idiot. here. with me.”
“now that’s the kind of name i thought you’d prefer saying.” you reply. “and…no…thank you.” you say trying to move past him.
“you’re a good kisser.”
“how sweet. move please” you say.
“my god, you really hate me, huh?” he chuckles
“i dont know you enough enough to hate you.” you say “but i do dislike you…so….close.”
“at least I’m not at the far end of the spectrum.” rafe hums, getting closer and fiddling with the end of your shirt.
“you’re close.” you say trying to move his hand away.
“but not there.”
“rafe, what do you want?” you sigh, looking up at him.
“i wanna see if you look more like a ‘deer’ when my hand is actually doing something.” he murmurs for your ears only.
“I’m sorry?” i stare at him, surprised as if he hadn’t just randomly kissed you before.
“relax.” rafe murmurs, pressing against you. “ease up, baby.”
all you manage to do is stare as your body registers the feel of his.
“yeah…” he hums, tugging at your hair slightly. “like that.”
“rafe…” you say, still confused by his actions.
“come on,” he chuckles lowly. “it’s a party. don’t tell me you don’t enjoy it?”
“i do, it’s just—“
but he cuts you off, his breath hitting your cheek. “then left your shirt up, lemme see…”
your stomach fills with butterflies, your eyes darting over his face.
“listen, I’m bored.” rafe says his lips now pressed to your ear, his hand squeezing your waist. “and…i liked the kiss. so I’m thinking I’ll like the rest of you.”
“you’re—you’re just overly horny.” you say.
“and who’s fault is that?”
“hey, you were the one who kissed me.” you say.
he smiled as his hand sunk under your shirt to your stomach.
“rafe—“
“shh.” he hushed, looking down at your shirt and his hand underneath. he lifted the material. you move to grab the shirt, embarrassed at the exposure.
“please, doll, just a quick look.” he says. “none of this has to mean a thing, i promise.” his hand grips your shirt.
and strangely, as he tugs you to a darker corner of the kitchen, his hands lifting your shirt to reveal your bra, and the hum that follows, makes you wonder if he really means that promise.
because as soon as his finger traces the cup before slipping inside, and brushing right over your nipple, the look in his eyes changes.
you can’t pinpoint what it changes to, but his following action, with the grip in your hair is clearly a new promise.
if he doesn’t like it he leaves.
but what happens when he does like it?
he grins nearly cooing at your concentrated face. “don’t think too hard.” he hums as he rubs your nipple and breast making your breathing hitch. “keep that head small for me, doll. you’re a very pretty deer when caught in headlights.”
“you just like me dumb.” you say, understanding his words.
his grin merely grows, as he pushes your bra cup aside completely holding and grabbing your breast. “well, when you’re smart you’d push me away.”
you nod, as he nods too, chuckling. he then forces you to arch against him, as he leans down, keeping eye contact.
he swirls his finger around your nipple. “should I turn this red too?”
the moment his tongue reaches your nipple, tingles run up your spine. and as he begins to suck, the tease in his voice leaves him as he murmurs a simple “fuck.”
your stomach churns, as he nods, almost answering himself with a name he claims to dislike. “yeah…baby, don’t move”
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© messylustt.tumblr please don’t steal, copy or translate my work onto other platforms.
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novy2sirius ¡ 4 months ago
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ASTROLOGY NOTES - volume 8; Šnovy2sirius
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libra energy is often referred to as “ditzy” which is interesting because when you sit down and have deep conversations with libra placements you realize they’re much smarter than they portray. libra is the 7th sign and in numerology 7 is the number of intelligence. libra’s act dumb to be funny a lot of the times or sometimes portray themselves in a way that’s not their authentic self because often due to things that occurred in their childhood they are confused about who they really are a lot of the time and don’t have a strong sense of their true identity. this also happens because they tend to mirror others personas that they’re around a lot and forget who they even are (libra’s symbol is the two scales that are identical on both sides). once you peel back the layers you realize it’s all an act. words are very important to pay attention to (li)bra. libra’s lie a lot, even about who they are. i would say this could also apply to gemini’s and pisces in a way
jupiter can tell you about some of the best opportunities you’ll receive in life. jupiter trine mc for example could indicate having amazing career opportunities/gaining lots of success in life. it could even indicate becoming famous
your 9th house can tell the best types of people to surround yourself with in order to have more luck and opportunities in life. if your 9th house sign is gemini then surround yourself with more people that have prominent gemini or 3h placements in their chart
a woman’s venus/rising conjunct a man’s lilith can create an intense fatal attraction (especially from the man to the woman). this reminds me of what people describe to be a twin flame bond actually. intense ups and intense lows, but a strong lustful and intimate connection that’s very hard to let go of. this is because lilith in a man’s chart tends to show the women he craves but knows he shouldn’t have long term and in a woman’s chart lilith is more of a dark placement indicating the challenges of womanhood and being sexualized
lilith in the 1h/5h/10h can indicate being a sex symbol or whatever, sure. that’s what i assume most people want to hear when they ask me about it. however, it is very rough and not glamorous like many think. these people attract so much jealousy and hate. even stalkers at worst. they will simply exist and get so much hate especially the women with this placement. it’s interesting because often in society we see women getting the most attention from men get the most hate from women and these women also often have lots of men sexualizing them and flirting with them (obviously all women do, but these women the most)
the part of fortune in your chart is known to be lucky, but not many talk about how it tells the fortunes that will be fulfilled before you die. if your part of fortune is in the 2nd, 8th, 10th, or 11th house you will be guaranteed to have material success at some point in your life before passing
no planet is all good. even “benefics” aren’t fully beneficial all the time. the universe is yin yang, so there’s good and bad to every planet. however, planets like venus and jupiter do usually provide more benefits than challenges. a negative way venus may manifest is in envy since in greek mythology venus (aphrodite) was a very envious person in relationships. scorpio venus’ for example tend to struggle a lot with being very jealous when dating
unevolved signs tend to be like their opposite signs negative traits. i was discussing this with @cupidlovesastro and we noticed the people who had sagittarius placements in our life that were unevolved were huge complainers and didn’t stop yapping about negative things or were gossipy. yapping a lot and gossiping tend to be negative traits of gemini’s more so than sagittarius’
unevolved cancer placements will never get over you hurting them even slightly. since they’re overly sensitive when unevolved they tend to become obsessed with victimizing themselves in order to make you seem like the bad guy. they will want to make you look bad to everyone so they can receive praise. the evolved cancer placements tend to be more emotionally stable though and use their emotions toward a creative outlet
mercury can also be a lucky planet similar to jupiter since the number correlated to it in numerology is 5. 5 is the second luckiest number. jupiter’s number is 3 which is the luckiest number in numerology
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falsemilkbun ¡ 25 days ago
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Mithrun & Drives & Self-harm
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Warning's in the title, let's rock and roll.
So there's a super-circulated extra about Mithrun's recovery after having been rescued from his conquered dungeon.
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And I don't know how widely known it is that this image is cropped, or that it contains something I consider pretty essential to his character.
The top two thirds of the page are upsetting in a suggestive way. The final third is very explicit.
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I understand the impulse to remove the explicit imagery of self harm from something you scatter around God's internet where it could upset literally anyone. At the same time, I think something's lost when you can't contrast 'He spent most of his days lying down, either sleeping or awake,' with the visceral imagery of him struggling to get out of that position, into which he has been strapped. It's less affecting if your initial impression (that he is totally passive) is not subverted.
Without this, it's too easy to assume that his aversion to things like mirrors and birds is due a vague Upset it might cause him, and that keeping sharp things and fire from him is due to an absence of self preservational drive.
But it's not like that. These are precautions undertaken because he has drives.
How much of that lying down is due to being passive, and how much is compulsory? How much time did he spend restrained, since this was a known problem? The restraints themselves harm him, which is kind of inevitable considering how determined he is to escape.
To me, this does point to him actually having agency and motivation. It's not motivation to do anything positive, but it's present.
And it makes sense, right, that he'd be motivated to self destruction when it turns out his quest has been (unbeknownst even to himself) to be completely consumed by the Demon?
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Something that feels important about Mithrun, to me, is that he doesn't fucking like himself, and I don't think he ever did.
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He's judgmental of his past self despite not ever confessing to being, you know, cruel to anyone. His issue is with his internality, which was an insecure and petty one. Externally, other characters did not perceive him that way. Milsiril doesn't dislike him because he's cruel or because she can tell he's only pretending to like people, she hated him because he was well-liked while she struggled to make any friends at all. I don't think he'd be so well-liked, or basically intimidate Milsiril with his bubbliness, if he was an outwardly nasty person.
It's important to me to point out Milsiril's perspective, because it confirms what's said in Kabru's truncated version of events: Mithrun was well-liked, and people's perception of him was positive. He was not behaving in a way that would drive others away.
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He just can't be close to people, not genuinely. He's nice for the same reason he's always finding reasons to look down on others, for the same reasons he can't resist the Demon's offer, for the same reason he hurts himself. He does not like the person he is, whatever that person does, and he is convinced that no one else could truly like that person either.
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I have another equally disjointed post in me about the parallels between the Demon and actual dynamics of abusive relationships, but key to this one is the fact that Mithrun's vulnerabilities - that he has learned love is conditional, that he cannot bring himself to interface with people genuinely, that he has been discarded by a family whose care for him was ultimately superficial, that he does not see himself as good or worthwhile - make his admission of having felt loved by the Demon super heartbreaking. Considering what it offered him, I suspect the hole left in his heart was exceptionally large.
It might feel easy to brush off Mithrun's behavior in the early days of his recuperation as simply erratic, but I see it as very purposeful and very much inkeeping with his character. He had a love that he could convince himself came without conditions, that promised an emotional security that he could allow himself to rely on, and it was withdrawn from him in a way that is undeniably violent and violating.
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I don't look at the image of him hurting himself and see someone acting erratically because their mind has been magically broken. I see someone in an understandable, mundane kind of complete despair.
On that same note, I see his later dedication to returning to service as a simple redirection of the original self destructive drive. Mithrun doesn't even consciously understand this about himself, he labels this desire as anger and vengeance when it's really the exact same drive he's had all along: to either be loved or not be at all.
...
happy holidays? i don't have a button for this.
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neptuneiris ¡ 3 months ago
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Cruel Summer (02/10)
Paradise Beach
pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader
summary: after a bad day at work, you head to the beach of your dreams, where an unexpected encounter occurs with a person who is too well known in the city and very rich.
words: 7.7k
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omg i can't believe how much you guys liked the first part! i really thought the story wouldn't get so much support (especially since i haven't finished CYPTBIL👀) but you guys again surprised me🤗 i'm very inspired with this story so i'm very happy for all the support, so enjoy this new chapter and look forward to the others!🙌🏻
thank you for reading!
warnings: none in this chapter.
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You hate to see the beach dirty.
You've always had a problem with people who leave all their trash on the beach without any remorse and in full view of everyone. Many people will be embarrassed to confront them and create a fuss, but you... you defend the beach.
The first community program you see that brings people together to clean up the beach to better help the ecosystem, you're the first to sign up.
And that's the bad thing about living in Black Waves.
The beaches are not the best kept. There is dirt everywhere, the smell is horrible and really very few people make an effort to keep the beaches on this side clean.
The complete opposite on the beaches of Crown's.
This is mainly why you want to make a difference, to have clean and beautiful beaches despite the 'status' that the rich label you in the worst way.
You've seen their beaches and they are very well kept, that's true. It was clear to you when you went to that party last night and saw the white sand.
Obviously the rich people pay people for maintenance, whether they are poor people or whatever, but your people can't afford that, so they either clean it themselves or they just don't do it.
Pretty much the same goes for restaurants and venues of any kind.
Certainly the restaurant you work for is on a beachfront terrace in a luxurious and exclusive part of Crown's, the same goes for most of the restaurants in this area.
But in Black Waves the restaurants are less sophisticated, the food is fast, some are wood-framed, and there are no more than four people working there.
The places to buy clothes or basic necessities are the same, even a grocery store is inside the same house of the owners, while the rich have a huge shopping mall with brand name clothing stores, accessories, libraries, coffee shops and more refined restaurants.
They also have on their side of town large supermarkets where every fruit, vegetable or meat is triple the price of what they sell it on your side of town.
The prices are also different, clearly.
In Black Waves the dishes sold in the restaurants are affordable, while here a seafood dish costs fifty dollars.
And today especially your boss is in a bad mood, like every day, but today more so.
"Hey."
Alysanne whispers to you from the other side of the bar as you finish cleaning one of the tables and watch her almost instantly, where she takes care that your boss doesn't see you both talking.
"Daniel has texted me, he says Cregan is taking us to another one of his parties tonight," she lets you know with the clear excitement all over her contained face, "They say it's going to be great and maybe Cregan can take us up on his parents' yacht."
You let out a sigh and like her, you check to make sure Mr. Frey doesn't catch you talking in mid-shift.
"Tonight?"
"Yes," she says without removing her excitement.
"We're working double shifts today, Anne," you tell her without encouragement.
"Oh come on. We can't miss the opportunity to spend the party on a fucking yacht," she whispers excitedly to you.
"My feet are already hurting and it's not even four in the afternoon," you point out to her.
She gives you a bad look.
"Y/N," she tells you reproachfully.
"Depends on how the day goes."
"Are you serious? We must—
"You two!"
Mr. Frey's voice immediately catches your attention and Alysanne's, where you notice him already watching you both with a scowl on his face and clearly furious.
"Did I pay you to chat or to work!?"
The two of you exchange a glance and immediately turn away from each other, each returning to their respective tasks. But of course, it not only draws the attention of the two of you, but also that of some customers, and the two of you endure the humiliation of being scolded in public.
"You'd better move and I'd better not see you two chatting again or I'll pay you exactly what you deserve or send you back to your side of town."
You almost want to laugh in his face, but like any educated woman and again out of necessity, you keep quiet, as does Alysanne, but the looks you both exchange say it all.
You would like to tell him that because of the mistreatment and this kind of humiliation in public, the two of you and the other workers should be paid more, especially because you have to deal with a boss like him, but neither you nor anyone else says anything and continue working.
And precisely because you were talking to Alysanne for only a brief moment, Mr. Frey takes advantage and overloads you both with too much work for the remainder of the shift.
And that's why you definitely decide not to go to any party.
Your feet hurt, you are urged to take a bath, eat and lie in your bed, however, you are surprised to see how Alysanne has way too much energy for the hell you both had to go through and as she talk to the guys by text, the more excited she gets about going to Cregan's party.
"Are you sure you don't want to come?"
Alysanne asks you as she finishes getting ready, looking at you through the full-length mirror.
"Honestly I'd rather go to the beach to relax instead of being surrounded with music, the smell of beer, weed and teenagers getting drunk."
She gives you an amused look.
"And why don't you do that?"
"I don't have a ride and it's too late to walk."
"Cregan is coming to pick me up in his car along with the others, I'm sure he can give you a ride if you ask him."
You give her a curious and unsure look.
"Do you think he'll accept?"
"We're going to the same side of town, he'll be passing through," she nods with a nonchalant gesture.
At least you don't have to get too dressed up and you won't get tired, so you trust Alysanne and start getting ready too. Not too much like her but to look presentable.
As time goes by Cregan finally arrives with the boys making a huge fuss, excited about the party tonight. Alysanne tells them to shut up and they are lucky that your uncle and aunt haven't complained about them yet.
You give Cregan directions after asking him to please give you a ride and pretty soon everyone is inside of Crown's.
"Wait, you're not coming with us?" Sam asks you confused.
You shake your head.
"Why not?"
"I'm too tired for a party."
Chase gives you a knowing look.
"I can't believe in all this time you haven't been caught."
"It's not like I'm doing anything wrong either," you shrug.
"But the rich hate us and I bet you they'll make a huge fuss if they catch you."
"Yeah, who knows, maybe a trespass sue," Daniel agrees.
"Even knowing you don't have the money to pay for it," Chase tells you.
"Trespassing?" you repeat between amused and incredulous, "Going to sit on the edge of the beach is trespassing? Do you even know what trespassing is?"
"In any case, the rich won't like it if you get caught," Sam says making a nonchalant gesture.
You decide not to take it any further and finally arrive at your destination point, where you get out and walk over to the side of the pilot's window to see Cregan.
"Thanks for the ride."
"No problem," he smiles at you, "But the guys are right. If the owners find out about you, you can get in big trouble."
"I've been doing this for almost a year," you let him know, "I'm very sneaky."
He shakes his head with an amused smile.
"Just be careful. We'll come get you when you tell us."
"Okay," you nod, "Thanks, Cregan."
"Take care," Alysanne says to you from the passenger seat.
"Sure."
"And if the rich see you, get in the ocean and swim to the party, we'll help you there," Daniel tells you too.
You give him a look and and a not entirely convinced smile.
"Yeah, sure, very helpful."
You finally start to walk away from them as they continue to yell at you to take care of yourself, to call them in case of anything and so on, until Cregan starts up and his car begins to disappear into the distance.
And then you take action.
You look around, quickly assessing the area, making sure there are no people nearby to see you, but surprisingly this whole luxurious area of Crown's is quiet.
The only movement you notice is several cars passing by, but other than that, there are no monkeys on the shore.
There is a wall in front of you that marks the line between this private neighborhood and the houses in the same neighborhood that are even more private, since they have a huge front yard and a huge part of the beach exclusively for them.
The wall is not high, fortunately, you think it should be, but this is compensated by security guards who patrol this area and the beach from time to time.
So stealthily and in a calculated manner, once you make sure that there are no people nearby, you hide among the bushes and trees that are planted in the corner of the sidewalk to put your foot on a specific crack that you know of the wall and push yourself upward taking the edge of the wall with both hands to be able to observe the other side.
You quickly scan the entire area, making sure there are no guards patrolling nearby nor any of the people who live in the houses before jumping.
The meters of distance are considerable between the huge houses or rather mansions. There is pavement between the divisions and those divisions are exactly the way to the beach.
You put on the cap of the sweatshirt you are wearing to cover your hair and your face, since you know that all the houses must have security cameras outside, so this way you protect yourself in case of anything.
And once you make sure that there is no one outside or nearby, you gain impulse again with more strength and as fast as your feet allow you but still being careful, you place your hands on the rough edge of the wall and start to climb.
You adjust your grip more firmly on the edge and in one agile motion, you propel yourself upwards, where you feel the effort as you pull your own weight and more as you try to be fast.
Luckily you've done this many times before and when you reach the top, wasting no time and making sure no one is watching you, you quickly slide down the other side and you fall on your feet with a dry sound.
You don't take the time to rest and looking around, with adrenaline running through your veins and your heart beating too fast, you quickly advance towards the beach.
And once you are far enough away from where you managed to cross and indeed you confirm that no one saw you and everything is fine, again, you can relax.
You remove the cap from your head and let your hair free again, slowly feeling how the breeze and the wind with the salty air envelop you completely as you approach the seashore.
Easily anyone who lives here if they see you could tell that you live here too, besides the night also helps you because without so much light they can't recognize you right away.
And it is as if you are also a rich person, daughter of rich parents, being inside a private section of the beach in Crown's most exclusive area.
And as you go along, this is precisely why you take the risk of coming to this place when it is forbidden to you; the place and the view.
The sand here is perfect, clean as if no one had ever walked on it, the air is salty with no smell of anything unpleasant in specific, there are no people that could be dangerous around you and the surroundings are absolutely beautiful and clean.
Also this section has a cliff a bit secluded from all the houses, where its huge rocky wall looks absolutely beautiful and ethereal when illuminated by the night light.
You have come here many, many times and you always head to the same place, that specific pier.
The pier stretches out in front of you like a polished wooden path, leading into the deep waters of the night ocean.
Discreetly placed lights along the pier illuminate it with a soft golden glow, creating a contrast to the darkness surrounding the horizon.
The reflection of the small lamps trembles on the surface of the water, giving the place a magical and mysterious air.
The structure is impeccable, made of dark, sturdy wood, maintained with a care that only the rich can afford. There is not a single splinter out of place, not even an ill-fitting clove.
Every detail is taken care of, right down to the polished wooden benches at the end of the pier, ideal for sitting and admiring the sea in silence.
As you approach, the wooden planks creak softly under your feet, but the sound mixes with the gentle murmur of the waves, making it almost imperceptible.
And when you reach the end, you can see a large yacht moored at the side of the dock, with it's deluxe cover and it's name painted in gold and silver lettering.
You have no idea which rich family it might belong to, but you know this is just one of many they must have. It wasn't here the last time you came here and fortunately it doesn't obstruct the view.
You take a seat on the wooden bench and letting out a big breath, you watch as the full moon reflects off the ocean, it's silvery sparkles dancing on the water in hypnotic movements.
This is why you love coming here, even in this way, because the fresh, salty night air fills your lungs with every inhalation.
And just for an instant, you feel freer than ever in this space that is not supposed to belong to you.
Besides you not only enjoy seeing the moon, but also the stars, shining brightly and adorning the entire night sky. And you can rest easy, because there is no danger on this side of town.
You've been enduring a lot at work lately, taking a lot of strain on your shoulders from double shifts and stressing over the slightest thing, but coming here and being here gives you that much needed quiet time.
And only this place can offer you that; peace and tranquility.
You don't know exactly how much time passes but you find yourself in the same position, not getting bored and enjoying the view, wishing time would freeze so you could continue to enjoy this without worries.
You think that Alysanne and the guys must be having fun too, but for tonight this is all the fun you need.
Suddenly your phone vibrates next to you and the screen lights up as a new notification comes in. You casually pick it up and see a new message, and it's from Alysanne.
It's a selfie of her with the guys, all happy, laughing, smiling, beer bottles in hand and with the sea and yachts in the background completing the scene.
You let out a small laugh as you see Sam's euphoric face, Daniel and Chase's funny faces, and Cregan and Alysanne's smiling faces.
"Excuse me?"
Your whole body reacts and jumps instantly from shock and you look quickly and sharply behind you with all the panic on your face, definitely not expecting what you see.
Aemond Targaryen.
Shit.
It's the first thing that comes to your mind as you quickly jump to your feet, your heart beating too fast and your hands starting to shake.
That's when you know that the moment has finally come where you're caught and you're in big trouble.
Aemond watches you with a serious and attentive face, analyzing you completely. And you feel completely small when his eyes look at you with confusion and distrust, but challenging.
He clearly has no idea what are you doing here and maintains a defensive posture.
And you definitely feel like a thief who's just been caught in the act.
"What are you doing here?"
Oh God.
You think in terror.
How come you didn't hear him coming? The boards creak with the weight when someone walks and you couldn't hear anything?
You think that you should have been more attentive, that you shouldn't have let your guard down, because it's not possible that you really were so distracted and in your own world that you didn't hear him coming. 
But with him already here, watching you in a bad way, looking cold and suspicious, that you don't have time to scold yourself or think about it.
"I-I..." you stammer, in a shaky voice, not having the slightest idea what to say, very nervous and scared.
All you can feel is a lump in your throat, an irregular throbbing in your chest and the overwhelming weight of his gaze on you.
He doesn't look away and his serious face doesn't change, clearly waiting for an answer.
As you watch him examine you, you watch as he runs his gaze up and down you, trying to decipher who you are. And it doesn't take him long to come to an obvious conclusion, because he instantly knows that you are not like him.  
By your clothes and your old sandals, everything about you gives away that you don't belong here. Besides, he doesn't recognize you from among the other Crown's families to be able to say that you belong to one of them.
He knows you're not from around here.
"I asked you a question," he demands you in a bad way and with a harsher tone, walking towards you, "What are you doing here?"
You feel a shiver run down your back as you swallow hard, but the words just won't come out.
You're paralyzed, terrified, stuck, because you have no idea what to say and you're still processing that this is really happening. 
You know you don't have any good excuses and he's impatient, waiting for an answer that really won't be convincing to be the truth.
"I will call security for invasion of private property," he warns you firmly, clearly beginning to lose patience.
The danger in his words makes the fear hit you even harder and you finally react in panic.       
"No, no, please," you finally manage to say, worried and raising one of your hands to him in supplication, "I-I… I'm not doing anything wrong, I swear," you raise both hands in surrender, trembling.
He inspects you more closely with a piercing gaze, trying to find something, anything, to tell him what you are really doing here or what you are trying to do, watching between you and his family's yacht anchored to the dock.
His posture remains tense, ready to act if he finds anything out of place. 
He thinks that maybe you are doing something with the yacht, but he sees it in perfect condition, with nothing strange and nothing out of the ordinary, as the rope that ties it to the dock is without problems.
But he still continues to watch you seriously, defensively and suspiciously.
"Shit," you mutter under your breath, lowering your gaze, embarrassed and terrified, "This has never happened before," you say, reproaching yourself for the mess you've gotten yourself into.
But he hears you perfectly, and his frown deepens.
"Before?" he queries you.      
You close your eyes tightly, cursing yourself internally for having said that, to again look at him pleadingly and in desperation wanting to prove to him that you really aren't doing anything wrong.
"I swear I—
"Hello!?"
The unexpected voice makes you jump again from surprise and you watch with your eyes wide open behind Aemond as one of the security guards enters the dock, his flashlight illuminating the way.
Your heart beats with such force that it seems to thunder in your ears, as panic engulfs you completely. 
And without thinking too much, you move quickly, hiding behind a huge wooden box, taking advantage of the pole supporting the roof at the end of the pier and some scattered chairs. 
You crouch down, trying to make yourself as small as possible, but desperation gives you away with every move.
This definitely ends up completely confusing Aemond, not expecting that reaction and movement from you at all.      
And you watch him from your hiding place with all the pleading and forgiveness in your eyes, silently begging him not to say anything, not to give you away.
But he turns his gaze to the guard who ends up coming closer.
"Are you all right son?"
Your heart stops momentarily and you watch him in terrified silence, simply waiting for the worst. 
But even to have his whole look serious and not showing much reaction, you watch as hesitation appears for a moment and he falters in his words, as if he doesn't know exactly what to say, until he does.
"Yes," he finally says, "I'm all right."
The guard, seemingly satisfied with the answer, nods, but doesn't leave.     
"The Baratheon's reported a break-in in their backyard a few days ago," he says and you listen carefully, still waiting for the moment with fear and concern, "Nothing serious, apparently just clothes and some decorations. I'm just patrolling to make sure everything is in order."
Your breathing quickens as you listen to every word and Aemond continues to watch the guard, when suddenly he shoots you a quick glance, his eyes reflecting a mixture of seriousness and indecision. 
"Yes, so I hear," he says.
"Are you alone, son? I thought I saw someone else here."
Fuck.
Your stomach sinks and you close your eyes tightly, then watch in terror for the moment when Aemond will finally speak and give you away.
But you see the hesitation in his gaze again, you also watch intently as he opens and closes his mouth a few times, failing to say anything.    
When suddenly you see him let out a long breath and slyly give you a look with his serious face, then lick his lips and press them together in resignation.
"Yes, I'm alone."
As soon as Aemond utters those words, a wave of relief sweeps through your body. But almost instantly you stare at him in complete shock, unable to believe it. 
He really just covered you in front of the guard. He didn't really give you away even when he had every reason to do so.
Your hands are still shaking, but you slowly feel the adrenaline and anguish start to subside. 
"Well, we'll be around if you need anything. Good night, son." 
Aemond nods in his direction.
"Yes, thank you. Good night."  
You stand still for a few more moments, listening to his footsteps fade into the distance until finally there is no more noise. Just the sound of the water against the dock and the night wind on the waves.
You take a deep breath and slowly, you sit up, emerging from your hiding place with your hands still shaking. 
Your eyes meet those of Aemond, who is still standing, watching you with that penetrating gaze that seems to be able to read all your deepest thoughts. 
You don't know exactly what to say to him, you're still surprised and don't understand why he saved you, but the words come out on their own, grateful and fearful.
"Thank you," you murmur apologetically but with all the sincerity in your gaze, "Thank you for not saying anything."
He doesn't say anything to you, which confuses you even more, he just keeps standing there watching you, with his usual hard-to-read expression.     
“I-I..." you stammer, biting your lips and lowering your gaze for a moment, still feeling nervous, "I really wasn't doing anything wrong. I wasn't stealing or harming or anything like that, truly," you tell him honestly.
Again, he says nothing. He doesn't move either. He just stands there, with both hands tucked inside his front pockets of his shorts and still watching you with utmost attention that makes you feel incredibly nervous, even more so due to the circumstances.
You are also surprised that he is not kicking you out and threatening not to come back here. 
You honestly don't understand his behavior and the fact that he saved you from the guard, but for whatever reason, you thank him or you would have been in big trouble.
So cautiously, you take a step towards the entrance and exit of the pier.        
"And I'm sorry. You won't see me around here again. I really don't want to cause trouble," you add, watching him warily and wanting to make clear the promise in your words, "I'll leave now," you say quietly.
And having nothing more to say, you turn around, ready to run away if necessary, but you barely take two steps when surprisingly his voice stops you.
"What were you doing here?" he asks for the fifth time all night, his tone just as accusing but now with a curious tone. 
You stand still, not knowing exactly how to respond. 
But you know you have two choices: lie or tell the truth. And for some reason, you feel you can't lie to him; Aemond Targaryen.
Aside from belonging to the wealthiest, most prestigious and powerful family in Sunset's and the entire country, with his father being Viserys Targaryen himself and being one of the heirs to his entire fortune, he seems to be someone who seems to have the innate ability to detect falsehood.
That's why you don't understand why he saved you, a poor girl who doesn't belong to his world and probably never will, but still, you decide to be honest.       
Anyway, you're already stuck here and as crazy as it sounds, you owe Aemond Targaryen one.
"I was just... looking for some peace and quiet," you confess, turning your body to once again look at him, "I had a bad day and coming here..." you look around with a wistful look, "It helps me."
Aemond tilts his head, frowning slightly and biting the inside of his cheek, inspecting you. 
"And you can't do that on the beach on your side of town?" he asks you with a tone of disbelief.
You sigh, feeling a twinge of frustration as you think about the answer. It's a reasonable question, but the answer is not so simple. 
"Not really," you reply, lowering your gaze for a moment and biting your lips in nervousness, "Surely you know it's not the same at Black Waves."
He shakes his head slightly.
"I've never been there."
You almost look at him with an obvious look, almost, but you end up nodding, since of course he's never been to your side of town when he lives here.   
"The smell of the beach there is not so nice. They are not as clean as these, there is dirt and being there alone in the middle of the night is dangerous," you explain.
And everything you say is true, which is why you decide to come here.
And he looks at you, clearly digesting your words, saying nothing for a few moments, as is becoming usual between the two of you.
You think that maybe for him, someone who has lived surrounded by luxury all his life, it is somewhat difficult to imagine such a different reality. But it is also no secret how the people of Black Waves live.
So you don't understand his silence or even his behavior, but what you do see in him, surprisingly... is that he doesn't judge you.
You would have expected the face of disgust instantly like any spoiled child of rich parents and also that he would tell you to leave now with that posture and superficial look.
But nothing.       
Aemond Targaryen doesn't really reflect anything with his eyes. Unless he's judging you and giving you those looks of disgust in his mind.
But, strangely, he doesn't make you feel any less.
"And coming here... it's like my paradise, for the peace and quiet," you conclude in a low murmur.
Again... he doesn't say anything.
And that begins to frustrate you.
He just watches you, as if he's evaluating every word, every gesture and every detail in you. 
And you silently think to yourself that he probably doesn't say anything because he really wants you to leave, to leave him alone and never come back here.
So you try to leave again, because you've caused enough trouble and you can't risk staying.   
However, just as you prepare to say goodbye and apologize, again, he interrupts you.
"Since when do you come here?" he asks with a tone that reveals a mild interest you weren't expecting.
Inevitably your nerves run through you again and you swallow hard, having no idea whether this interrogation is good or bad, but you still decide to be honest to avoid as much trouble as you can.
"Last year," you confess apologetically.
He raises his eyebrows slightly.
"And no one had caught you until now?"
"It's just that I don't come here much, I promise," you say instantly, sincere, "Like I told you I only come when I really need to... when I want peace and quiet. And I don't do anything but sit around and watch the ocean, that's all."
He nods slowly, again processing your words. 
And you don't know it but to Aemond... there seems to be something about you, something about the way you talk or maybe that you're a Black Waves girl, that keeps him interested.
His blue eyes, cold but curious, fix on yours, as if he wants to see beyond the words, as if he's looking for some kind of hidden truth.    
The silence that follows feels interminable and finally, he with his relaxed but dominant posture, takes his hands out of his pockets and turns around, resting his arms on one of the railings of the pier. 
He stares off into the horizon with that serious look that tells you nothing and you just stand there, wondering if you should still leave or what you should do, since you don't understand anything.
"You can stay," he says suddenly, his voice low but firm.
You frown and stare at him completely confused, having no idea if you heard right or not.
"What?"
"You can stay," he repeats, not watching you.
You blink, watching him in shock, now being the one processing his words, not really understanding anything but feeling completely surprised by his offer.      
You didn't expect this. Not at all.
And at that moment comes the distrust in you, as it can't be too good to be real.
"Are you sure? I mean..." you watch him uncertainly, "Maybe you want to be alone," you shrug.
You watch as he sits up and starts pulling something out of his pockets, which ends up being a lighter and a pack of cigarettes.
And without looking at you, he shakes his head.
"I'm fine," he tells you carelessly, taking a cigarette and starting to light it.
You watch him curiously, not understanding why he's being this way with you... so strangely kind. And that without knowing where it comes from, you begin to like him.
"And you're really not going to give me away? This isn't... I don't know," you shrug, "Like some kind of trap?"    
You watch as he takes a drag and blows out the smoke, putting the lighter and the pack back in his pocket.
"No," he says serious and almost annoyed, so you decide not to question him anymore, as strange as this is, "If you want to stay that's fine, if not you can leave too. Just do what you want, if I wanted to give you away, I would have done it already."
You remain silent, processing his words. You frown and watch him as he takes another drag and then the smoke rising to dissipate in the cool night air.
There is something about his posture, the casual way he holds his cigarette, that disconcerts you and catches your attention.
He doesn't seem like the kind of person who would let someone like you just hang around, much less in a place that is clearly his, or at least his family's.
So you feel unsure how to interpret all of this.
So you continue to stand, still waiting for some sign that you should leave, but he gives you none. Instead, he just looks off into the horizon, where the water meets the dark sky, lit only by the moon and stars.
And the truth is, you don't know what to do.
The prospect of staying there, with him, someone you barely really know and who could give you away at any moment, still makes you nervous.
However, you are also intrigued by this strange friendliness he is showing.
So you decide to stay, so you again take a seat on the edge of the wood with carefree movements, your feet dipping into the shimmering water beyond.
You give him a brief glance, unsure if he'll sit down too or if he'll just leave. But to your surprise, he stands beside you, silently smoking and not watching you.
It's not warm or comforting company, but somehow, the stillness you both share is more soothing than uncomfortable.
And so the minutes pass and the sound of the water, soft and rhythmic, begins to soothe you again. The cool night air makes the anxiety in your chest slowly dissipate, as does the tension in your shoulders.
And with each passing of time, you realize that nothing bad will really happen by being here with him. And you also realize that Aemond Targaryen is maybe not arrogant and shallow like the others.
He hasn't even been mean to you and hasn't judged you, so that's why you decide to start a conversation.
"Why are you here?" you decide to ask, without looking him and simply moving the waters gently with your feet, focusing on that.
The question floats in the air between you, and for a moment, you think he won't answer you, since maybe he told you that you can stay but it doesn't mean you should talk to him.
But then you hear him move, his weight making a slight creak in the wood.
"Same as you," he finally replies, though his tone is less curt this time, "Looking for peace and quiet."
You're instantly taken aback by his honesty and also by his response, definitely not expecting that, so you frown and look at him confused.
"Really?"
He watches you and his gaze instantly paralyzes you, watching as he watches you just as confused but this time defensively at your reaction.
"Why is that so incredible to believe?"
You bite your lips and avert your gaze, thinking very hard about your next words, as you shrug and watch him again.
"Well... I'm just thinking why a person who has everything and certainly lacks nothing would come here... looking for peace and quiet," you explain with genuine curiosity.
He lets out a snort, with a bitter look on his face as he brings the cigarette back to his lips.
"Neither you nor anyone else knows everything about me and my family," he says with an unexpected harshness in his tone.
You remain silent, surprised by the frankness of his response and avert your gaze to the horizon.
You feel a slight discomfort that you didn't expect and it's not because of what he said, but how he said it, so serious and distant.
But maybe he's right.
All families at Crown's are characterized by more than just money, power and status, and that's appearance.
The rich probably think they know everything among themselves, but your people see a little more reality and you know that behind that perfect facade there are secrets, tensions and burdens.
And the Targaryen's are no exception. Even Cregan has hinted at it many times, with his wry, half-joking comments about the lives of wealthy families.
The moment between the two and the conversation seems on the verge of becoming awkward again.
And just when you think the talk is over, Aemond takes another drag and, surprising you, looks sideways at you with a cool but questioning expression.
"And what happened to you?" he asks you suddenly, changing the subject.
"Hm?" you observe him attentively and confused.
"Why did you have a bad day?" he repeats just as calmly, but this time, with a casual, carefree tone.
"Oh," you murmur, turning your eyes back to the horizon.
You didn't expect him to be interested in something so personal. But since he asked, you decide to be honest.
"Well, apparently my boss hates me and made me work double shifts today," you explain, letting out a sigh. "It's stressful enough to put up with his bad treatment and workload, but I also had to deal with a lot of rude customers."
His gaze remains fixed on you, as if processing what you just said. Then he goes back to staring at the horizon with a disinterested look and takes another drag on his cigarette.
"Sounds like shit," he finally says, his tone dry but without a hint of empathy.
"Yeah, it is," you reply, letting out a bitter little laugh, "But it is what it is."
He nods slightly and suddenly, the distance you felt between the two of you seems to diminish a bit.
Aemond isn't as unapproachable as you thought, and though you still don't quite understand why he's acting this way, you begin to see that maybe, just maybe, there's more to him than meets the eye.
You stare out at the water in silence, the sound of the waves lapping gently against the pier pilings filling the air.
And you are surprised by how normal this situation is.
You mean, who would have thought? You, a poor girl from Black Waves and him, the heir to one of the most powerful families in the region, sharing a night on the dock as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
You don't understand anything but... you like him.
"I've never seen you before," he murmurs after a while, his eyes focused on the horizon, "Nor do I know your name."
You stare at him incredulously and let out a small chuckle under your breath.
"I think we both know why," you say knowingly, "It's not like our paths cross very often. And my name is Y/N, Y/N Blackwood," you introduce yourself in a soft tone.
He falls silent, seemingly memorizing your name and within a few seconds, however, he doesn't seem convinced of the other.
"I don't know. I know everyone in town, even if not directly."
You frown slightly.
"That sounds... exhausting."
"It's part of the family, knowing everyone. Knowing who's around you, even if you don't deal with them," he explains, "But I had never seen you."
"Well... I've lived at Sunset's for a year now with my aunt, uncle and my cousin," you explain, relaxing a little more as you see the conversation flowing smoothly, "And before the summer started, I started working at Mr. Frey's restaurant to save up for college in a few more months."
He turns his whole body toward you, still standing and leaning against the pole holding up the roof at the end of the pier, glancing at you from time to time but keeping more of his focus on the horizon.
"Your aunt and uncle?" he asks, "Why don't you live with your parents?"
That question takes you by surprise, and for a moment you don't know what to say. It's obviously a personal question and you weren't expecting it at all.
Then you look at him, where his eyes are serious and inquisitive towards you, although you don't perceive any bad intentions, just a curiosity.
"I guess I don't know if I should tell you that," you say with a small smile and amused tone, trying to downplay it and not make the moment awkward, "You know... trusting one of your kind."
He lets out a slight chuckle, making you smile a little wider.
"My kind?"
You shrug.
"Yeah, you know... a rich one."
"And what makes you think you can't trust me? I didn't give you away a while ago, did I?"
"And why did you?" you ask, unable to contain your curiosity seizing on the comment, "Why didn't you give me away?"
He lets out a long breath and takes another drag before answering, his voice low but steady.
"I don't know, maybe because you were honest."
"But you're not like that, no one in your class is empathetic and forgiving."
"Do you really think you know everything about me and my family?" he questions you again.
You look at him obviously and incredulously.
"Please, everyone in this place knows everything about you and your family. Even the poor people. You're like the royalty of the city, after all."
You see the slight annoyance on his face, making it clear that he's in total disagreement with you, and you make up your mind to prove your point.
"I mean..." you sigh, "You are known as your father's son who has a perfect life just like your siblings, heirs to a wealthy and powerful family. The Targaryen's are known for that, work, money, power and status... or am I wrong?"
He doesn't respond right away, just watches you with an intensity that makes you feel a little vulnerable.
And just when you think he'll finally let his true self out and he's exactly like the other rich kids, he surprisingly lets out a sigh and looks down at the water, with an almost resigned look on his face.
"Yeah, but it's not all as simple and wonderful as it seems. It's not the whole truth either."
Those words leave you thinking. And they also leave you watching... him.
At the previous party, you couldn't see much of him from afar, let alone being on the second floor of a huge yacht. But he is... captivating.
You trace the shape of his nose and the structures of his cheeks with your gaze, watching as if it were a slow-motion movie as he lifts his cigarette to his lips and raises his gaze to the sky to expel the smoke, marking the bone in his neck.
His silver hair shimmers slightly in the moonlight and makes him look like some sort of ancient Greek God, where you silently admire the handsome features of his face.
You can't see his eyes in detail because of the light, but you know they are blue, characteristic of the Targaryen along with the platinum hair.
And then you wonder, what else is behind that facade his family has so meticulously constructed for him?
Who is Aemond Targaryen truly?
The night continues as the two of you stand there, sharing the space, the air, the silence. There is no need for more words for now, it's just enjoying the little shelter in this corner with him.
And after a while, you decide that maybe it's time to leave.
"Well... I guess I should be going," you mutter, starting to get up, then looking around the perimeter one last time, etching the image in your memory, "I'm going to miss this place."
He turns with slow, nonchalant movements toward you, dropping what little is left of the cigarette to crush it with the sole of his tennis shoe.
"What do you mean?" he asks, with that calmness that always seems to surround him.
You look at him in confusion, then shrug, letting out a small, resigned laugh.
"Obviously I can't come back here now that you've caught me," you tell him with a sad little smile, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear from the wind, turning around, "Oh and..." you look back at him, "Thanks for not give me away, truly."
You give him a look and a small grateful smile, as he keeps his expression hard to read, as usual, but totally focused on you.
Neither of you say anything else and assuming this is the final goodbye, you start walking towards the dock exit. But then you hear his voice behind you.
"Wait."
And that's what you do.
Confused, you turn to watch him again, watching as he takes a step forward.
"You can come back if you want," he says to you suddenly, in a tone of voice that is soft, but also mixes indifference and something else that you don't quite manage to identify, "Just... make sure no one else catches you."
That definitely takes you by surprise, since you weren't expecting it. And you watch him silently for a moment, trying to read his expression, but he remains as enigmatic as ever.
However, there is an unexpected sincerity in his words that makes you smile, this time with more warmth.
"Really?" you ask, unable to hide the disbelief and excitement in your voice.
He nods, folding his arms, saying nothing.
"Thank you," you reply, and this time you say it more firmly and with happiness in your eyes.
You lower your gaze and resist the urge to smile big, feeling a strange sensation in your stomach, to again watch him.
"Bye, Aemond."
You take a step back and turn around, when again he stops you as he speaks.
"You're going home alone?" he asks, this time with a little more interest in his voice.
You laugh softly, surprised that he cares, not really understanding anything but liking it.
"You know? We poor people have a good thing after all... survival style."
He doesn't say anything to you, just watches you with his piercing colored eyes as he licks his lips and then simply gives you a small nod.
You don't say anything else either and finally turn to leave, beginning to leave the tranquility of the dock and him behind, under the dim lights of the night.
And as you walk away, you feel the sea breeze on your face and wonder how a night that began with tension and fear ended with something as unexpected as a truce with Aemond Targaryen.
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series taglist:
@zenka69 @strangersunghoon @deliaseastar @thefireblaze @kythefangirl25 @p45510n4f4shi0n @saturnssrings @bellaisasleep @primroseluna @tinykryptonitewerewolf @barnes70stark @tssf-imagines
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chxrryhansen ¡ 11 months ago
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౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ Cherry’s SStan Series Rec List
here are my sebastian stan series fic recs! they are mostly bucky barnes series but mainly Au’s! i will be creating separate lists for cevans one shots and sstan one shots😚
Clockwork - @sgt-seabass
When life seems to be finally back on track, a visit by a mob boss to your dainty town changes everything. (Dark!Alpha Nick Fowler)
The Soldat And The Sparrow - @navybrat817
Your fire burns for the Winter Soldier. And one day, you'll be free. Both of you.
For The Love Of The Game - @pellucid-constellations
Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it. 
The Heart Is A Deep Ocean - @dreamlessinparis
Titanic was known as the ship of dreams. For you, it was the dream of getting home, or so you thought. From the moment you locked eyes with James Buchanan Barnes, all those dreams changed and your life was never the same.
Everything’s Better In WestView - @espinosaurusrexex
Bucky and Y/N sneak into Westview to have the perfect life. Away from late Steve and Tony, Vision and Natasha, they let themselves be consumed by suburban magic. To their surprise, however, some of these people aren’t so dead in the town. And there are some other weird things happening that make them question their sanity. But that’s okay, right? ‘Cause everything’s better in Westview.
The Bride Of Soldat - @vampy-doll
In the summer of 1986, a young woman goes missing whenever HYDRA kidnaps her to be their next experiment for the reward of their Soldat. Now, post blip, Bucky starts to remember defining details of his love, his match made in hell, and is determined to find her. But after years of isolation and torture after his escape, she isn’t who he remembers. Now they’re trying to piece together who she was pre-HYDRA to teach her how to live, without his undying love and obsession of her getting in the way. But when one head is cut off, two more shall grow in its place, leaving them to discover those behind her abduction.
Awake My Soul - @foreverindreamlandd
It's been five years since zombies first started walking the Earth, destroying anything and everything in their wake. Now, in this apocalyptic world, fighting for survival comes as naturally as breathing. The one thing you've learned ever since they arrived, though, is that the living can be so much more dangerous than the undead. When you stumble across two young, scared boys lost in the woods and being chased by walkers, you go against your better judgment and help them to safety. Little did you know that helping them would lead you to Bucky - an angry, grumpy, distrusting member of the camp Shield. Bucky has zero interest in having you enter his life. He's been hurt before and lost too many people to risk experiencing that kind of pain again, and he knows that there are secrets you aren't telling the group. Yet, when push comes to shove, and you're put at risk, he'll stop at nothing to keep you safe.
Guiding Light - @wkemeup
It was supposed to be a simple mission. Get the intel and go home. Until everything goes wrong and you’re taken captive by Hydra. While you struggle to stay alive and hold your sanity, Bucky begins to lose himself to a darkness and gives into the soldier because he doesn’t know how to breathe without you. Not until he brings you home. If he even can.
The Witness - @wkemeup
Owner of a bar full of criminals, maybe you shouldn’t be surprised when you’re the sole witness to a hydra hit. In comes Detective Barnes, the quick-witted, flirtatious cop who somehow became a regular at your misfit bar. When he takes it upon himself to ensure your safety off the books, you learn to rely on someone else for a change and find you don’t mind it at all. Not when it’s him.
Under Oath - @ugh-supersoldiers
The people called for justice, the state answered. The trial of State v. Barnes is set to begin, and the odds are most certainly not in favor of the not so beloved ex Winter Soldier. That’s where you come in, the quick, smart, and all too brave lawyer set on defending and saving one Bucky Barnes from legal prosecution. The only problem? He’s not so sure he’s worth saving at all.
Just One Kiss - @sarahwroteathing
Bucky Barnes has been chasing after you since he was ten years old, but you’re determined not to give in. How long can you hold out when all he’s asking for is just one kiss?
He’s Hazardous To My Health - @writing-for-marvel
Bucky Barnes is a beefy paramedic with a traumatic past, who has left a trail of broken hearts behind him. You are a resident doctor new to town, who barely has time to date between long shifts. When your paths cross in your ER during a disaster, is it the start of something magical, or are you destined to be just another of Bucky’s former flames?
Just Try - @waiting4inspiration
Perfectly happy with your life at the Avengers’ compound, an alpha walks into your life, flipping it completely over and revealing secrets you hoped you had buried a long time ago.
Дорогая - @waiting4inspiration
Bucky's Winter Soldier programming has been triggered. Turns out the Winter Soldier has a thing for you.
Red Ties - @sebstan2020
Mary, a sweet Christian girl living in the city of Brooklyn as a nurse had a simple life. She loved her work, her friends and attending church every Sunday and helping Reverend Owens. Her life was nothing out of the ordinary. However, it all changed one day when she bumps into the intriguing and intimidating James Barnes, Brooklyn’s notorious mafia boss and is introduced to a world of guns, lust and dominance.
Delicate Edges - @wkemeup
Your family’s beloved flower shop was not the only thing you inherited when your parents passed. Trapped under a mountain of debt to the Hydra club, you bear the cost of your father’s desperate bargain. It’s only in moments when the charming Bucky Barnes walks into your shop that you can forget the cruelty of the biker clubs of this town. But a war is brewing. The border is crumbling. You're trapped in the middle. And Bucky will stop at nothing to keep you safe.
Pride And Privacy - @adrinktostopyourthirst
Bucky works on himself as he gets used to a roommate. Turns out, she has a much better room than him and he crossed the line.
Feelings Are Fatal - @sunmoonandeddie
After the events of Endgame, you struggle to come to terms with what you’ve lost, though you’re learning that you still have something to gain.
Appointments - @noctumbra
bucky barnes, finally being able to live freely in 21st century, accidentally gets a fuck buddy and starts to rediscover himself. the only weird thing about this situation is that you have to make an appointment to get railed by him. 
Lazarus - @sagechanoafterdark
Things are complicated between you and James Barnes. For you, life doesn’t mean much when you never stay dead for very long. But it might just be an ex-soviet assassin that convinces you to start living again.
Its A Deal - @justreadingfics
You’re out of a relationship of 10 years and you’re just in desperate need to get laid, no strings attached, no romance, no complications. You dear friend Natasha feels like she’s going to regret this later, but she might have the perfect guy to fulfill your needs.  
The Two Of Us - @bucky-bucket-barnes
You and Bucky go to investigate the phenomenon happening in Westview, New Jersey. While attempting to understand the issue, you yourselves are sucked into Wanda's world of pretend. Now, you believe yourselves to be the happily married Mr. and Mrs. Barnes; in real life, you are most definitely not a happy pair. It is up to you and Bucky to piece together what's happening while dealing with one another inside the hex.
Snow - @delaber
Tired of your constant bickering, Sam sends you and Bucky on a mission alone. When the worst possible outcome happens and you’re forced to spend several days together in a small cabin, you finally get to see a different, more pleasurable side to the man whose flesh you’ve always had a thorn in.
All Good Things - @sagechanoafterdark
After only three days of dealing with the annoying specter haunting you, you break the rules and accidently give a ghost a body. So what do you do when you find out the man you’re now sharing your your apartment with isn’t really a ghost and that haunted touch is a little warmer than you realized?
Welcome Home… Soldat? - @winterarmyy
Y/N had make a habit of greeting Bucky a warm 'welcome home' everytime he came back from his missions, but there was one particular day when she unknowingly greeted someone else.
Heavy Metal Lover - @mypoisonedvine
every client is different, with different needs; but this client is, in every way, exceptional. (Sub!Bucky Barnes + Dominatrix!Reader)
Parent-Teacher Conference - @coffeecatsandcandles
James Barnes, a widowed single dad, had forgotten what love felt like and let it crush him, taking his daughter, Rebecca, with him. He was cold, rude, and arrogant, being one of the few teachers at Westview High School the students seemed to absolutely despise. But when you show up, a hopeful math teacher who’d previously taught Rebecca’s kindergarten class, and are adored by your students and colleagues- James’s attitude starts to change.
Duck & Cover - @whirlybirbs
you’re the howling commandos’ new medic (Sniper!Bucky Barnes)
Winter’s Mate - @maggyme13
The Winter Soldier threatens to get out of control with his instincts taking over more and more. After years of supressed ruts his body built up a resistance and Hydra need to find another solution. Deciding it would be the easiest to just give in. Hydra kidnapped the reader to turn her into a Omega in Heat using injections whenever needed.
Key’s In Your Ignition - @georgiapeach30513
Caught up in a sexual relationship with your father’s Vice President, and trying to not get caught.  Blind to everything else that’s going on in the club, and even your old crush, Bucky Barnes.  Not even noticing your brother and best friend flirting, until your father suddenly passes, and things in the club drastically change. (Ari Levinson + Bucky Barnes + Harvard Hottie- Hayden)
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nayatarot777 ¡ 2 months ago
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Unpopular opinion:
Pride and ego is NOT a bad thing when you correct it and when you build it healthily. There’s a reason why so many women are willing to act like someone they’re not, let a man tell them who they can and can’t be, etc. Who in tf are you in this world? YOU control the answer to that question. And the longer you don’t know who you are, the longer you’ll be manipulated, moulded, and played into being someone else for someone who doesn’t even love you for you. Your ego is your protector. Hence why it’s a natural part of childhood development, around the ages when you get more social interaction with the outside world. So if you’re walking around without much of an ego, you’re walking around with little to no protection. That’s the equivalent to living in a house without locks. Or leaving your car unlocked at all times. Does that sound smart to you? And could you be surprised when you’re an easy victim for others to invade your space and take from you? No. You couldn’t. So for those of you who lack ego and pride and are always taken advantage of: what tf are you surprised or shocked about? You’re literally allowing yourself to step out into the world unprotected. Despite knowing how dangerous the world can be. You’re not a perpetual victim to life. Life/God doesn’t hate you. You’re just a vulnerable person who has, for some reason, kept yourself vulnerable in a place full of danger. Can you be surprised when people view you as someone who’s easy to take advantage of and use? No. And don’t mistake this for being blamed for other peoples actions. That’s on them. But you definitely can be blamed yourself for your actions (or lack thereof), such as: NOT putting in boundaries, NOT protecting yourself, CHOOSING to keep yourself vulnerable.
With that being said, how can someone “love you, for you” when there is no core “you” to show them? And that’s exactly what your ego is. Who you are as a human being that you show to the world. It’s your strengths that you put on the forefront when you’re manoeuvring through life. It’s also a fraction your authentic self as a human being - hence why people who are not authentic have such fragile egos. They’re easily hurt, right? Easily put down and diminished without much confidence left afterwards. The people who either don’t fight back against injustice towards them, or they do, but they don’t know how to fight back effectively. It’s quite illogical to expect for people to love you for you when you wouldn’t even be able to tell/show someone who you truly are - simply because you don’t even know who you are. Or because you don’t think that who you are is good enough so you’re willing to pretend to be someone that you’re not.
Please understand, ladies, this world will chew you up and spit you out if you ALLOW it to. Define who you are and stick to that, and don’t ever change unless the change is what YOU want. More men do exactly the opposite, and that’s why you can’t tell men shit about themselves. For better or for worse. They know who they are a lot more than we do and they stick to it. The ones who don’t are the ones who are taken advantage of by others - just like many of us.
I could never understand how so many girls and women around me were so willing to ALLOW a man to tell them how they should/shouldn’t dress. Who they can and can’t be friends with. Where they can and can’t go. How they can and can’t act - especially in relationships. It confused me and, I’m not gonna lie, I thought that it was just stupidity on women’s part that played a part in that. But I had to check myself and identify the difference between women that I knew who were like that and women who weren’t - instead of just boiling it down to mass idiocy through my own ignorance. I was raised around a lot of brothers, and a Jamaican family in general. Jamaicans are known for being quite prideful (ngl, in more toxic ways), but my brothers would also never allow me to let other people tell me who I should and shouldn’t be. Thats when I came to the conclusion that the major difference is pride and ego (which is heavily linked to self respect and self esteem). Thats when I realised that it wasn’t stupidity - it was brainwashing and conditioning. And I believe that for centuries, men broke down the egos of women because they know the truth about being egotistical. They know that when you’re egotistical, you’re not going to allow someone else to impose on who you think that you are, for the sake of pleasing them. You’re going to be confident in yourself and not put yourself as a lesser being to someone else, which only leads to you becoming a complete people pleaser or a doormat. Basically the perfect victim for those who want to control and manipulate.
There’s a reason why so many women who have acted like doormats feel so much shame after all is said and done. Thats your ego and pride telling you that you deserved better and you knew it deep down the whole time. That you haven’t acted in a way that you can even be proud of yourself (because of your lack of pride). And that you put up with bs that you should’ve cut off time ago. Think about it.
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appleblueberry-pie ¡ 6 months ago
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Hi blueberry!! Since I'm hyperfixated on yandere e42!miles (again) here's a couple of scenarios I thought of! (I'm still getting used to giving ideas/ asks 😭 )
Him finding out / overhearing someone picking on reader
Finding out where reader lives
Seeing reader in public/ having a interaction in public
How Miles would act on readers birthday
Partners with miles
Class secret Santa with miles
It can be during the relationship with miles or pre relationship (I like pre relationship tho)
Can be drabbles or hcs!!
(I'm gonna be so embarrassed if you don't see this )
i saw. it's my fault that i'm taking forever.
You hated how close he was. No matter how many steps you made to create distance to get away from him, he'd cover it. You couldn't ignore him because he'd just keep talking, and even if you tried to press him to the point of making him leave, he'd flip the script on you and wouldn't take you seriously at all. You couldn't physically beat him in a fight if you wanted to, either. You just felt so powerless.
You clench your jaw and keep your eyes on the front doors leading to the outer campus of the school. But even if it was close enough to see, it was still far enough for your bully to get his piece in.
"Let me walk you home, ma."
"I said no."
"You need to stop with that distancing shit. We've known each other too long for you to be all cold with me, you feel?"
"No, I don't fucking feel, nigga. Leave me alone."
"Shit, okay."
Yet, here he was, close enough to continue whispering into your ear. You fucking hated his stupid smirk on his face, that dumbass cologne he wears that gives you a headache, and his mouth. He can just never ever shut up. He always wants to push you on the edge.
And sadly, you were at that edge. Your stomach hurt from eating some weird shit earlier, your period wasn't helping with that, you didn't get sleep last night and you just wanted to go home and have some personal space for once.
His hand goes to grab your tense arm and once you feel him breaching past your comfort zone and breaking your limits simultaneously, you would've shoved him off of you if it wasn't for someone yanking him a good 5 feet away from you.
Both of your heads turn to the person that put themselves in your shitty situation and see Miles, fuming, holding your bully by his collar. You were taken aback by his random entrance, and was especially left with your mouth agape at the way he was confronting your bully.
You've heart multiple stories from kids all around your school about how Miles was. How he gets into crazy ass fights every single day for possibly no fucking reason. About how he gives everyone the cold shoulder, has a crazy mouth and gives no one mercy. How he has no friends, scares everyone away and gives everyone shit. You didn't believe anything because he was so nice to you. Always chill and looking out for you. But you didn't miss the looks people gave you, ones of disbelief when they'd see him open up to you like they were seeing an entire other side of him.
Maybe you were the blind one.
"Watch where the fuck you putting yo hands, nigga." He was spitting them words in that boy face like no one was watching. People began coming around corners, popping up out of nowhere to see who was shouting. Your bully made a full 180, raising his hands, telling Miles he didn't want any trouble and was just poking fun at you. Miles was having none of it.
Miles shoved him into the closest locker as if he was a stuffed animal, the sound of the harsh collision booming echoing in the hallways. Even when you went to grab Miles, he never loosened his death grip on the poor guy, simply brushing you off.
"Miles. Miles just let him go."
"Nah, give me a second, babe."
Give it another second, and the boy is on the ground, continuous iron hits ruining his face. Every time Miles' knuckle makes contact with their face, you cringe in disgust and everyone just moves on with their day, knowing they'd be next if they interfered.
He just seemed to punch harder the more you attempted to pull him off of the boy and once you jerked him hard enough by the arm, you got him to stumble off from being on top of him and you tried to ignore the blood dripping from his hands.
"Lets go."
Everyone stared as you basically dragged him towards the entrance of the school. Miles kept his eyes on your bully like he wouldn't forget his face until he was dead. It terrified you. Everything was rubbing you the wrong way.
When the cold outside breeze hit your face, you didn't stop walking until you turned the corner away from watching eyes and gave Miles a look.
Why
He gave you one back that didn't comfort you.
I had to. Please understand
You fear this was going to turn into a never-ending loop with him.
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queenhallebe ¡ 1 month ago
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Let's Set the record Straight: Respecting Jungkook's Personality!
Facts about Jungkook that tend to lead people into thinking he is a playboy or what we all know as a f🔞ckboy.
Charismatic personality
Jungkook's charm, confidence and flirtatious nature DURING performances, and read that again please, DURING, not after, and before... performances and interactions with fans might be interpreted as some playboy behavior . He's often affectionate , playful and comfortable with fans that often goes misinterpreted as fckboy behavior.
Appeal to fans
As one of the most beloved members of BTS, Jungkook has one of the largest, if not the largest and most diverse fan base. His good looks, talent and confidence attract a wide range of admirers, and some people have read this kind of admiration as indicative of his personal romantic life, even though there's no public evidence to support such assumptions.
Public image, media and the love for drama
The media sometimes portrays K-pop idols in exaggerated or hyperbolic ways, especially when it comes to their personal lives, and Jungkook is no exception.And I think this is the part where we bring the famous Dispatch. Well, doesn't everyone just want to know who Jungkook's having s€x with? And isn't the media keen on chasing after a person for the clout they have?? Imagine how powerful it would be to have his image tainted; the headlines, the hashtag trends...and many more.
Now that we're done done with the first three reasons why, there's this other one, last but not least, but a very problematic take;
He's a man!!
And I know where most of this comes from. Men know what they're like. Women have been hurt by men. And 70 % of women out there don't know atleast 2 men who aren't “ran through” , except those ones who can't actually pull. Even the men themselves can't even bring themselves to believe that such men do exist, that's why the projection; because they know themselves too well, and will tell on themselves through talking about other successful men. And you also know why?? Feigning of innocence!! And I think with this one y'all can definitely tell, that I'm talking about our dear “friend” , Taeil...and his “innocent” twins.
But let's set the record straight here, Jungkook has always claimed himself as an adult the moment he became one. As as a teenager, he couldn't wait to become an adult. This was mainly because adulthood is freedom. And that's what he wanted, freedom! Freedom from being told what to do, not so he could go and fck someone's daughter, or son. Freedom to dress edgy, to get a tattoo, to drink his alcohol and get his piercings. That's all, and if you're gonna say he didn't, sorry to let you know my dear, you're just a follower, not a fan! Go looks at his most recent interactions with fans, on weverse especially. He did say, he's an adult, doing adult things, and talked about his song seven. He got stalked when he was smoking privately, and the world got to see that, but he never once, denied the thing, he actually continued. He drank almost every live, he showed us his fridge, full of nothing but alcoholic beverages. He once did share a story of his gf as a teenager. So I think we've gotten that out of the way. Jungkook was never keen on showing anyone how “innocent” he is, so he's not a man hiding behind any innocence. He's innocent because he looks like that, not because he is conniving.
This man has been a victim of many things, namely hate trains, sexualization, stalking, death threats, smear campaigns, boycotts and many more.
While it's an understandable thing to not like someone, find someone good looking, and even boycott for reasons known to you... there's nothing that can justify why he was to go through hate trains and being stalked, and swearing on your cat's life that he's a s|ut just because you see him playfully interacting with Armys, or because he just looks like he could be one.
“Well he knew what he was getting himself into being a kpop idol”
No!!! Absolutely no one deserves to be hated just because they're public figures. Being a public figure does expose you to a lot of criticism and scrutiny,but it's NOT for people to stalk you, to want to take your life, and to play around with your sexuality, assuming how gay or straight you are!! It's not a good thing just because people have normalized doing nothing about it. And those who try to defend him are gaslighted into thinking they're wrong for simply wanting that he should atleast have his privacy. People just want to justify blind idiots confusing his playful attitude with hoe-ology, they want to justify the people who confuse his welcoming nature for “do-whatever-you-want,come-into-my-house,-cook-for-me-and-when-you're-done,-come-jump-straight-into-my-arms” !
Like I said, there's nothing wrong with the fantasies people have in their heads, and maybe even assuming things, coz that's human. But while doing so, it's important to keep remembering that the “vibe” you're getting from him, is all in your and your friends' head. The so called evidences, those blurry photos and videos have nothing to do with him, and if it's so true, it should have been captured clearly for people to see!! Yes he's not a kid, but who told you he sleeps around?
People are entitled to their opinions, but it's best they remain only as opinions.
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honey-minded-hivemind ¡ 5 months ago
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Nightcrawler having to be kept out of wherever Sentinel!Reader's body parts are held because he'd just hold Reader's head for awhile, which is reasonable considering he's probably the one that first found reader, but uh.. kinda need Reader's head to help with figuring out how to make them a new body so can you let go-
It's especially difficult to keep Kurt out since he can y'know- teleport-
Cube Anon
He does, a lot.
This was his friend. They were one of the nicest people he knew. They were gone, possibly even more gone than the others, because they were machine-born rather than human.
It hurts his heart.
He prays for Reader, begs to God that they be where Gambit and Leech amd Madelyn and everyone else is, somewhere nice, that they have a soul that can see Heaven or wherever they go when they're gone.
He's broken over this.
His sister and himself and the X-Men lost their lovable friend Gambit, they lost their loving friend Reader, Genosha is in ruins...
Except now some of his friends question if Reader knew about any of this. They stsrt to think Reader had a hand in it, or had somehow alerted Bastion. They begin to wonder if they should bring Reader back, if it's worth it...
And his heart breaks all over again.
That's when he hands Hank and Charles and Erik back Reader's head, demands they look at their memory files, to see for themselves what Reader was, who they were, and that they were a good person, one who didn't choose to be what they were, yet was never hateful as their brethren or Bastion or Sinister...
In the end, Kurt was right.
Reader's memory files only show that Reader truly believed they were human or mutant, that they loves their friends, considered them family, that Reader fought for them, fought for Genosha, helped save some of the survivors... And that in Reader's last, glitching moments, realized they weren't human, but were a sentinel... and immediately brought down, not even bothering to save themself or go simehwere safer in their final moments.
At that point, there is no question anymore whose side Reader was on, or where their loyalties lied, or if they deserved to be with them again...
And now the team have to work through their guilt over accusing Reader, while coping with bringing everyone back, fixing a new hidden home for everyone, and trying to keep ahold of their hope to fix things, to bring back what was stolen and make something better with their new home...
(Meanwhile, in the heaven/purgatory/afterlife for the victims of Genosha, the mutants are all trying to enjoy the peace and quiet... and Gambit and Madelyn and any other friends of Reader are trying to get them to come up from a pit/lake/pond and to stop weeping, wanting to know what's wrong, what's hurting, why can't Reader tell them what's wrong, they love them, it's so much better up there with everyone else, can they please come out and let them hold them again-?)
(Cube Anon, I don't know if you want to get this dark, but... If Reader DID survive Genosha, imagine if the team, once knowing they were a Sentinel, blames them at first, causing Reader to leave... only for Bastion to later reveal Reader was a failure, a prototype sentinel, who went beyond what they were made to do, made to be... and in the end, Reader either saves them all somehow or dies helping take Bastion down, or ends up committing su*cide (their version of it) after being rejected by their friends, their family, because they're basically a child who was abandoned and turned on by the only family and lobe they've ever known...) (Please forgive me if that is too dark. It is okay to stick to something a lighter, okay? Just say the word, Cube Anon).
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sorensolsikke ¡ 3 months ago
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i hate how people don't recognize me as a dragon.
like, they do see me as the dog i am!! at some point, every friend of mine tells me that i am the golden retriever friend!! everyone says my hair looks like cute ears!! they tell me "aww big puppy eyes" and "oooh biig stretch" without a second thought, without knowing my identity, and that's so validating, i love my friends and siblings!!! i am indeed a puppy for them!!
BUT FOR FUCK'S SAKE WHY DON'T I LOOK LIKE A DRAGON TOO?
i constantly question my self-knowledge by this; i think i know myself well enough, but nobody – except my girlfriend – seems to notice certain traits of mine that are the core of my identity. like i am sure i am unpredictable and unrestrianed when i am full of rage, or especially when i am protective of someone. i remember scaring the crap out of people who tried to hurt me or my loved ones when i seemed vulnerable at first glance, but oh i know my voice and claws and i don't fear pain. how can people still only see that i am patient and hard to make angry. they never believe me when i say i am scary and unstoppable when i get mad. and then they shit themselves when i finally do.
i demand being respected like a wild animal.
people also laugh at me when i say i am a good leader when i have to take that role. they know me to startle easily, being rather laid-back and quietly understanding than determined and in control of the situation. they don't even notice that these traits are compatible. they don't even seem to understand that i have been the oldest sibling at the hardest times, when our bare survival was at risk. i've always been, and always gonna be, the pack leader in every given critical situation, and will stand back after the problems are solved. (and i am also a verse/switch. if you know what i mean.)
i want to be recognized as strong and forceful, because i am.
people don't even understand that i am vain and full of pride. they genuienly think i am humble, even tho that's very, very far from me. i did learn how to say a genuine sorry and how to lose a competition. but i am almost pityfully proud, will collect compliments, will make sure to look perfect, always. let's just say, i don't despise flattery. and others still seem like they REFUSE to believe i have bad traits?!? other than, you know, autistically clumsy and sensitive??
i am a DRAGON for fucks SAKE, not a cutesy fucking RABBIT.
i am vain, i'm a horder, i am strong, determined, forceful, calculating, cagey, protective, and feral.
and i don't even get started on how i see myself dragon-like in the mirror, not just where my phantom limbs would be, but also. my canine teeth stand out a lot more than others, because they grew incorretly. my tongue is long (humanwise i mean), and i step on the first half of my feet. there is nothing humble in my posture. how can't they see how can't they how
...in fact there is someone who notices. my girlfriend has seen me as i am, from the very first minute. they didn't create an unrealistic idea of my delicacy. i adore them so much, they are the most insightful person i've ever known, and they still chose me. they are somehow the only one who understands my ferality, and somehow they are also the one who would do everything to stay with me. their existence does ease my rage of being misunderstood... but i can't escape the idea that i learnt masking so well that any controversial trait of mine became invisible. i am afraid that i became something like an animal in a zoo; acting domesticated, but in fact a ticking bomb.
i am a dragon. and i WANT people to notice finally.
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llamagoddessofficial ¡ 1 year ago
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A completely sad/sappy (sadpy?) self indulgent piece I wrote last night while feeling several Feelings. consider this an author insert & death sans thing
---
“... tell me about you.”
She blinked, sitting up, no longer leaning against his soft black cloak, waking out of the stillness the tree's shade and the gentle rain had cast over both of them. His words had come completely out of nowhere.
“Pardon?”
Reaper looked down at her, his expression unreadable. “i can’t say i’ve met many other mortals who seek out the company of death.”
She gave him a look. “Don't be ridiculous. I know plenty who would seek your company.”
“they would seek my touch.” His gaze was low. Those eyelights saw more than normal eyes ever could. “they would seek... earthly desires. nothing wrong with that, i also seek those. but i’ve never had someone seek me out merely for my company.”
“I’m not that interesting.” She mused, softly, notably leaning back against the tree, and not him. “Besides. You’re great company.”
“tell me regardless.” He pressed. “consider it my just payment. for my great company.”
... She hummed. Despite her easygoing exterior, he could sense her resistance, her immediate discomfort. He had sensed it, from the beginning; her unwillingness to share about herself. Her quick deflections, her paradoxical fear of letting others know her, despite her clear desperation to be known.
He was patient. He would wait as long as it took for her to collect her words.
...
“... You’re the only one who gets it.” She said, eventually. Her voice lacked its usual quickness, its usual exact choice of word, the wittiness he liked so much.
That gave Sans pause. “... go on.”
“I don’t... love anyone. I don’t feel romance. I can’t help it.” She stared into the middle distance. “I’ve never been in love with anybody. Even when I really wanted to be.”
He watched her, quietly.
“... I let my guard down, y’know. Every now and then. I let myself get close to people. Then... sometimes they start to feel things that I can’t reciprocate. They want me to love, but I can’t. They see it as a fault with me, or worse themselves, and what we had in the first place falls apart.” She looked down at her hands. “I gave up getting close, because I’m tired of hurting people I care about with the way I am.”
“... hm.”
“... You’re the only one who... gets it, I think.” She couldn’t look at him. “Feeling like you’re separated from everyone else, through no fault of your own. But at the end of the day, that separation is the reality you’re in, and you have to live with it.”
“feeling as if everyone is part of something that you can’t even begin to be part of. and even if you suddenly joined one day, everyone else is so far ahead of you, you could never hope to catch up in time.”
She nodded. She did eventually look at him, a small smile forming on her face. “Yes.”
“you enjoy my company most, because you know i won’t grow to expect anything from you?”
“You’re mature. You’re... well. Death. I’m a human. I can trust you not to love me. And theoretically, even if you did, I think you’d have very different expectations about it. Expectations we could manage.”
“... is that why... your relationship with error is so fraught?”
She let out a short laugh. “Error and I are ‘on break’. Would you believe me if I told you I used to like him the most, because I thought he hated my guts too much to catch feelings?”
Sans grinned. “error is full of surprises. yet i think the fact that you grew to somehow like him surprises me the most.”
“He’s a giant manbaby. But he’s funny. And I liked having someone I could shamelessly argue with.” She tucked her knees up to her chin. “We’re not on speaking terms at the moment. He got upset I spend so much time with you, then tried to kiss me.”
“... ah. that’s why he’s been watching romantic aus.”
“... I write about worlds full of love. Worlds where, regardless of looks or faults, romantic love always prevails and conquers all. Worlds where a self-insert can feel all those feelings I hear about on the radio.” Her breathing was very controlled, very quiet. “But it’s wish fulfilment, isn’t it? Giving a version of me the things I’ll never have. Giving everyone else the stories I’ll never be part of. Even if one of my most perfect characters stepped right out of my pages, I’d never have that 'happy ending'. I couldn’t give them what they wanted from me. I couldn’t give them what I want to give.”
A pause. She didn’t seem to like how obviously upset she had become. She emotionally retreated, quickly fixing on a smile, lowering her legs back into their previous crossed position.
“... I sound full of myself, I know." She chuckled artificially. "Oh, woe is me, I can’t get close to anyone because everyone just falls in love with me all the time.”
“no, not at all.” Sans reached out, and laid his hand over hers. “it’s happened more than once. you can’t blame yourself for recognising a pattern.”
... She squeezed his hand.
“i can’t promise i won’t love you. that’s a dangerous promise to make.” He murmured. “but i can promise i won’t ever expect romance from you, nor let romantic feelings define our relationship. closeness and love does not require romance. i’ve had thousands of years to come to grips with much more upsetting subjects than a woman potentially not returning affection i develop.”
...
She shuffled up to him, and tucked herself back against his cloak, her cheek pressed to the soft fabric. He reciprocated, wrapping an arm around her.
“Thank you.” She said, quietly. 
"of course."
... They stayed like that, for a long time.
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captain039 ¡ 1 year ago
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PART 2 Lord and lady
Vampire lord Astarion x spawn!reader
Warnings: possessiveness, jealousy, gore, vampire things, eventual smut, swearing, hurt comfort, sexual
Previous part <-
Changed title - Want to be known
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Molly, also a human, something was different about her though, her blood smelt different. You were confused by the situation, how long had it been since you’d bathed?
“Hop in” she smiled.
“What smell do you like?” She asked and you stuttered.
“Hm let’s go with vanilla” she said waving her hands and magic left her hands and bubbles appeared in the bath, a sweet vanilla scent filling the air. Magic user, that’s what was different.
“Those clothes look like they’ve seen better days” she commented lightly as you stood frozen.
“Is something wrong?” She asked.
“Do you not like the smell? I know vampires scent is keener” she added, you shook your head approaching the bath. You watched the steam rise from it, feeling its warmth.
“How long has it been since you’ve been in a home?” She asked softly.
“Six years” you said and she froze, sadness filling her face.
“You’re safe here, Astarion, our lord, he likes you” she grinned.
“Astarion?” You said and she nodded.
“Did he not even tell you his name?” She huffed hand propped on her hip and you shook your head.
“Typical” she rolled her eyes.
“Though you’re different from the usual he picks up” she shrugged as you began to undress. The clothes peeled off basically, crumbling at your touch making you wince.
“I’ll wip you up some new clothes don’t worry” Molly assured as you slipped into the bath. Your whole body sang and you closed your eyes tears welling in them.
Astarion sat on the throne his court grumbling amongst themselves. A sudden wave of calm and sadness hit him though, he felt the warmth all over the body and the relief leave his tense body.
“Sire?” Syla asked confused and he frowned coming back to the moment, had it been from the spawn he found in the forest.
You felt tears roll down your face as you enjoyed the warmth and water.
“Oh poor girl” Molly said kneeling down and rubbing your shoulder comfortingly. You flinched, but let her comfort you.
“Sorry” you whispered.
“It’s alright, you’ve been through a lot I imagine” she smiled standing again, magic humming around her body silently as she conjured something. You saw the well tailored clothes she made, a simple blue shirt with black pants.
“Is this ok?” She asked and you nodded wiping your eyes, how long had it been since you felt human?
She stood behind you and you frowned as you felt your matted hair change.
“There” she said happily and you frowned feeling the smooth hair on your head. You looked to the locks and felt more tears, it’d been a matted birds nest.
You finished your bath and got dressed, the fabric smooth, strange Molly was able to conjure that up. Your mind was a bit hazy though, focusing on her neck, watching the blood pump through her veins.
“Did you need to feed?” She asked like she read your mind. You flinched and backed away from her, but she just smiled.
“It’s ok, I’m happy for you to, if you need” she offered and you stared in disbelief. You shook your head violently and she saddened, but nodded.
“I’ll take you to the court” she said heading out the bathroom. You followed her to the main hall you assumed, people were gathered there, well vampires. They all stopped chattering though when they saw you and you felt the need to run. The vampire that found you, Astarion, rose from his seat and approached you. He stood in front of you, the others watching intently, you panicked when his hand lifted up and tucked some stray hair behind your ear a smirk on his face.
“Exquisite” he whispered and you moved away from his hand, his blood full of power and beckoning.
“This here is my court” he said gesturing to the small crowd. You hated all the smells, the muttering, the sound and smell of blood, it was too much. You bolted quickly feet leading you back to the room you first woke up in. You were drawn to it for some reason. You covered your ears, panting loudly as you groaned quietly. You shook your head trying to gain control of yourself, the wild beast inside raging.
“Do you need another taste?” You heard Astarion and flinched shaking your head.
“You’re raging inside, just let it out” he soothed and you snarled at him. You didn’t even realised he approached till you opened your eyes again and flinched away.
“Take it” he ordered holding his wrist up. Your fangs began to ache and the need to feed filled your mind. You held his wrist shakily before you couldn’t control yourself and bit down. He made a small noise of pain before sighing, your body thrummed with power and you felt greed take over you. You pulled away, panting and whining at the shuddering feeling filling your body.
“Powerful, isn’t it?” He asked.
“Why?” You asked and he frowned tilting his head.
“Can’t you just kill me!” You yelled and he flinched eyes going stern.
“I won’t kill one of my own kind” he spat and you groaned.
“I don’t know what it is to be vampire or human!” You wanted to collapse, let the world swallow you.
“I will teach you” he said and you scoffed.
“I slaughtered my parents, I’ve lived like a ravaging monster for six years!” you snapped eyes hard on his.
“I killed my old master to become what I am!” He snarled back and you flinched.
“I wasn’t chasing deer when I found you” he added voice calmer.
“I sensed you out there” he said.
“I felt your being, your fear, your rage, you are connected to me” he finished and you frowned.
“You are mine”
Next part ->
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mshellimagines ¡ 2 months ago
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I’m curious… What would you think of Alexander Anderson x Vampire!Reader ? I think the dynamic could be interesting
Hello there!! Thanks for the ask. I’m not sure if this is an opinion or not so I’ll format it a bit differently than my others!
Writer’s Musings: I imagine the reader here (?) as a vampire who’s anything but bloodthirsty. Maybe they’re a reluctant creature of the night, someone who would rather die than harm another living soul. They’d probably view their own existence as a burden—a painful reminder of what they’ve become and the monster they feel they are. A vampire like that might even want to destroy their own kind, as if wiping out the rest of their kind could somehow redeem them. It’s a tragic, poetic goal, one that might even catch the attention of someone as devout and steadfast as Alexander Anderson, maybe To be honest I feel like that’s… The only way this would work? I’ve been thinking about it and the other option would be a devout vampire, but I don’t want to headcanon the actual READER Y’know so I’m going to go with the reluctance idea! It suits most people..right?? :’) I too hate it when writers don’t make it about the damn reader LOL, unfortunately I do have to improvise a bit for this one so I hope you understand!
Alexander Anderson x Reluctant!Vampire Story Headcanons
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You didn’t think he’d hesitate upon seeing you, especially since he’s known to be merciless with vampires. His eyes are sharp, piercing through you as if searching for something beyond the surface.
Surprisingly, he doesn’t attack right away. Instead, he just watches, curious, as you barely lift a hand in defense, almost as if you’re resigned to your fate.
“Are you not going to fight?” he asks, his voice laced with a mix of contempt and something else… perhaps pity? You tell him you don’t want to hurt anyone and that you despise what you are.
He raises an eyebrow, clearly not expecting that answer. “A vampire who loathes itself… now that’s something I’ve never seen.”
Anderson doesn’t lower his weapon, but he doesn’t strike either. Instead, he seems almost intrigued, demanding to know why you continue to exist if your existence brings you so much pain.
You tell him, simply, that death doesn’t come easily to creatures like you. That, despite your wish to disappear, you are bound to this miserable form, cursed to wander a world that doesn’t need you.
His eyes soften just a bit, though his stance remains firm. It’s clear he’s struggling with the idea of sparing a vampire, even one who despises their own nature.
You didn’t think he’d understand your desire to destroy other vampires, but he listens as you explain. You want to rid the world of the monsters that haunt it—even if that means starting with yourself.
“A vampire that hunts its own kind…” he murmurs, a glimmer of respect in his gaze. “Perhaps God’s mercy extends even to cursed souls willing to atone.”
Surprisingly, he offers to let you prove yourself. If you’re truly set on destroying other vampires, he says, then he won’t stand in your way. But he warns that any sign of betrayal will mean your swift end.
From that day on, he watches you like a hawk. Each time you confront a fellow vampire, he’s there, standing in the shadows, silently judging your every move.
You didn’t expect to feel a strange sense of comfort in his presence. His unwavering faith, his strength, even his disdain—it grounds you in a way you never thought possible.
Oddly enough, he seems to develop a reluctant respect for you. Perhaps it’s because you fight with a desperation, a painful earnestness he’s rarely seen in any creature, let alone a vampire.
He starts to see you as less of a monster and more of a tragic figure, a soul trapped in a body you never wanted, fighting a battle you believe you can never truly win.
You didn’t think he’d ever offer words of comfort, but one night, after a particularly grueling hunt, he tells you, “There is strength in repentance… even for those who think themselves beyond saving.”
His words resonate with you, giving you a strange sense of hope, as if, just maybe, your fight has meaning beyond the bloodshed.
You never imagined someone like him—a paladin, sworn to eradicate vampires—would come to care for you, even in his own stern, reserved way.
But with each passing encounter, it’s clear that he does, despite his best efforts to deny it. He sees your struggle, your pain, and maybe, just maybe, a part of him wants to see you redeemed.
And though you don’t believe you deserve his compassion, you feel an odd sense of peace when he’s near, as if his presence alone is a reminder that maybe, there is still hope—even for a monster like you.
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theghostbunnie ¡ 1 year ago
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Guys do you remember when I made a whole post about how David's care for the camp over the seasons went from being about the legacy to attachment to the actual campers themselves instead do you remember that guys
⚠️Spoilers for new episode ahead ⚠️
All of the campers are assholes in varying ways they ALL rag oh each other I've been saying this for forever but they all still have a baseline of being friends and this is showcased well in the butterfinger effect by Max specifically he refers to all of them as his friends. Yes not all of the campers are BEST friends, obviously, some of them even having a distinct annoyance with each other (Max and Ered specifically) but they all still have a FONDNESS for each other regardless
Neil and Nikki have been bullied before, as brought up in the episode the flower scouts are introduced and the one Jeremy is introduced. They have a history of not only being outcasts and not included (like 90% of the campers there) but being OUTRIGHT DISLIKED. This is why in foreign exchange campers they both have a PANIC over the thought Max is replacing them bc he's most likely their very first friend!!!
I don't believe Max has been bullied before as he just distances himself from people. He creates walls. He's experienced loneliness more. (To protect himself bc he "finally had something to lose" in the camp corp episode he calls them temporary to their faces and Neil blinks away a tear. He obviously was emotionally attached to them but didn't want to admit it or get emotional and instead denied it so it would hurt less for himself not caring in the moment if it hurt them)
and that is really reiterated this whole episode. While Nikki and Neil are the ones panicking way more over being hated in the first half (Max even telling them at one point they shouldn't care) Max is the one upset more in the SECOND half at the thought of not seeing them again.
The "I'm not sad I'm livid" IS SO MAX SO MANY PPL MISCHARACTERIZE HIM AS A CRYBABYYY NOOOO HE'S PISSSEDDD, HIS FIRST RESPONSE TO THINGS HE CAN'T EMOTIONALLY HANDLE WELL IS TO BE MADDDD OR RUDE OR IN DENIAL okay sorry back on track
This episode and the camp corp episode really really reiterate it is not camp campbell itself that makes the place great. It's the people. The people are the heart of it. Things got better when they brought themselves together. To help David with the bonfire because Max cared about David's emotional wellbeing not hitting the ground floor. To help raise money to save the camp from shutting down. To give up spending the rest of the summer doing their individual hobbies they got SCAMMED OUT OF and instead spend time WITH EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neil saying goodbye to David and basically saying for a science camp that basically didn't have any fucking science it sure was great.
Gwen saying THANKS FOR NOTHING CAMP CAMPBELL 🖕 and then immediately after saying "and thank you for everything, David"
CAMP CAMPBELL ISN'T ABOUT THE CAMP IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN IT
Why else would Max still be okay if the place physically burnt down? BC He'd be HAPPY TO DO IT WITH HIS FRIENDS. HE LOVES MAKING PLANS AND AND SCHEMES AND CAUSING CHAOS, WHAT HE LOVED FROM THE VERY FIRST SEASON NEVER CHANGED. HE JUST FIGURED OUT HOW TO LET HIMSELF BE OPEN TO CARING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE NOT NATURE OR A HOBBY.
He's mad he finally let himself care, that he let that wall down in the camp corp episode, that he grew attached to Nikki and Neil and even admitted it to them later and now it was all being "taken away from him." For a moment he thinks it would've been better to have never known happiness and friendship at all then to have known it and lost it. """You'll maybe be happy again at some point, kid ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯""" that's what he thinks he's being told and of course he's mad as hell over it until David and him have a heart to heart.
Max didn't want to leave, Max learned to love being at camp, BECAUSE OF THE FRIENDS THERE!
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