#but just realising how many problems the fandom kind of has

[thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls]

brain this is not the time to get over your dndads artblock

[joejhang]

andrew minyard.

finally andrew is getting the essay treatment from me. i love this man and i just needed to yap about him. spoilers ahead and continue at ur own risk.

people (both within the series and in the fandom) like to think of andrew as super unemotional and stoic. i don't think people realise it but the whole "andrew is soulless" mindset has bled into the fandom, and the way people write and talk about him really makes me think they do just consider andrew to be extremely cold and unreachable as a person. i lowkey find this funny because andrew's not even that monstrous or difficult or stone cold he's literally just bipolar (canonically) with some clinical depression in there. like???

and it's weird because people like to think of andrew as super out of control and violent and yes, he was unpredictable when he was on his drugs and he does still play by his own rules, but he honestly rarely incites any violence? i can't really think of a single instance he's been violent for no reason. he punched matt for hitting kevin. he choked allison for slapping aaron. he choked kevin for lying to him and also because he was understandably panicked and angry about neil being taken from him. what i find interesting is that when one-dimensional booktok men and the stereotypical book boyfriends do this typa shit it's seen as cute and protective and bf material but when andrew does it he's seen as violent, out of control and emotionless. and what also doesn't make sense is when people see his ability to inflict fear and violence on people (usually retaliatory but whatever) they consider it to be proof of his inability to feel emotion, but it seems to me that it's proof of the opposite? all of his violent and "out of control" moments to me are literally displays of how much he cares.

andrew is such an acts of service show don't tell kinda person and you'd have to be pretty blind (or biased) to not be able to see how his actions reflect his thoughts and emotions. he agreed to everything neil asked of him because he was interested in and a little (a lot) in love with him. he agreed to let kevin stay and protect him from the literal mafia because kevin believed in him and believed he was worth something and was willing to be patient and give him something to live for. he's friends with and hangs out with renee because she's kind and honest and genuine with him and isn't immediately dead-set against him because he doesn't fit into the conventional values of what a guy is supposed to act like.

does he have problems and flaws? yes, absolutely. many of his issues do stem from his existing trauma and the biases he's developed from that, but he's working through them, with other people's help, and it's so bizarre when people in the fandom talk about him like he's so far gone and to "rehabilitate" him would be a miracle when...he's literally already in the process of healing?? and he's not resistant to it at all?? before neil even shows up, he's seeing and talking to betsy, he's doing things (in his own way, sure) to try and patch up his relationship with aaron, he's protecting the people he cares about, he isn't honestly as self-sabotaging and self-destructive as he says he is. betsy is right when she says that he's done exceptionally well despite everything the world and his life have tried to throw at him.

people like to accuse aftg of demonising mental illness and people like andrew but i actually think the aftg fandom does that a lot more than the actual books. i think anyone with critical thinking can see that despite the nickname, andrew isn't a monster at all, and i think anyone that really knows him in the novel would see that too. and people in the fandom still write him like a sociopath even though it's explicitly stated he isn't, he literally has bipolar disorder, and it's funny and ironic to me because the fandom is like the general public in aftg, and the fandom (at least to me) demonises andrew a hell of a lot more than the actual books do.

andrew isn't the emotionless, stony, cold, unreachable, violent monster the fandom seems to think he is. i think he does have some problems expressing his emotions and probably has some issues coming to terms with a lot of them, but i think he definitely experiences the full range of emotions and they show themselves pretty frequently, intentional or not.

[lemonhemlock]

I think a thing that bothers me the most is how fragmented TG (the fandom) is now. After season one, many of us had issues with character writing, but it still felt like we were largely on the same page. Now, some people can accept Aegon got bad writing but not Aemond, Alicent, or Helaena. They are all “good” or “bad”characters depending on how much they hurt Aegon this season. I’m so glad he got the time to be well rounded, and that TGC delivered on all his scenes, but I think people forget Aegon has received some poor writing as well even this season. His whole outburst about Jaehaerys’s death is not about his son, but the impact on his legacy- I thought this very odd at the time, but realize it’s because they can’t have him mourn Jaehaerys for a long time either. Nobody on TG is allowed to focus on this dead child, least of all his mother! Aegon goes out drinking with his friends next episode 😭 seemingly unconcerned. But somehow only Alicent and Aemond are called out for this, when it is a clear problem that Daemon is more affected by this loss than the greens. It feels like such an uphill battle to even discuss the faction and family anymore.

This is such a good point!

I know I am so contrarian about this rn, but I have had some issues in connecting with Aegon's grief scenes over Jaehaerys this season. And it's such an opinion I DON'T want to have, bc I'm fully on the Aegon/TGC bandwagon and I do think TGC is a competent actor.

But it's something about the general clownery of the framing, how everything is gloomy and dark but at the same time no one gives that much of a shit over Jaehaerys? It's very weird to describe. I know Olivia also shows Alicent crying and swallowing sobs and trying to conceal her grief, but, if you think about it, Alicent is just Kind Of Like That in a lot of her scenes anyway. Big doe wet eyes, filled with regret and unspoken emotions etc so that her acting similarly after B&C kind of doesn't hit as much?

And, in that context, having Aegon rage over this event is rendered kind of.....hammy and, honestly, comical. I'm reminded of the scene of the small council where everyone is somber and quiet and he kind of looks like he's pretending to cry. In other moments it's fine but there are frames where I can't take it seriously and it registers in my brain like a parody.

I realise how I sound right now, like I'm not satisfied with the subdued performances, but I'm not satisfied with the expansive ones either. IDK. I have a huge problem with the framing and direction this season, I think it's a huge impediment in making me enjoy the supposedly emotional scenes.

All of this to say that I agree, Aegon has also received some bad writing this season, especially him ALSO being kind of over Jaehaerys the next episode. But people tend to overlook it, because when you draw the line, the writing for him is still so much better than what he got in S1.

And, yes, this is why I can't really join the choir in blaming Alicent and Aemond for how they act with him, because it's not a naturalistic and organic progression, it's shoehorned in with little buildup or motivation and not even drawn to its natural conclusion. For example, Aemond should have been toast the minute Aegon woke up, because Prince Regent or not, Aegon is still the King and has the power to remove Aemond if he fears him. He doesn't have to justify himself in front of anyone, just give the order to arrest his brother and name someone else as regent, then just go back to sleep.

[justali-anne]

Thought Week: Papyrus

Ahh, Papyrus... I'm not surprised that he was in the top 3. Honestly, I thought he would be number 1, but hey! Life can surprise you!

My honest thoughts about this amazing skeleton below:

(BTW, if you have anything to say about Papyrus, please share your own thoughts in the notes!)

First Impressions

The first time I remembered encountering Papyrus was in Minecraft animated music videos, funnily enough. And it wasn't even me watching them! It was my little sister, who was about 8 at the time? I think it was during lockdown, actually... Anyhoo, they were music videos of Undertale fan songs like "Down To The Bone" and "Way Deeper Down". Papyrus just seemed like a goofy goober who wants to capture a human, you know the drill. He was pleasant.

Those music videos set the stage for my special interest in Undertale, and when I got into the fandom, Papyrus was the very first character I latched onto. He was just adorable, being so egotistical and silly while also being so darn kind. Although back then, I only had a surface-level understanding of Papyrus, I still found that I related to him on a personal level. His hyperactive energy and deep desire for friendship just hit me because I have those traits as well. I remember searching for Papyrus fanfic after Papyrus fanfic, I just wanted to read about him, see him, etc. all the time! He ended up becoming my favourite character, and he still is to this day, although nowadays, he shares the top spot with Sans, who I will cover tomorrow.

My Impressions Now

He's still my favourite, but he shares the top spot with Sans. It just doesn't feel right having one without the other, you know?

Being in the fandom made me realise a few things about Papyrus that aren't noticeable at first glance. But I'm sure everyone has realised how mysterious he is now, even more mysterious than Sans, actually! At least Sans gave us some hints! Papyrus gave us zilch!

But I'm not mad about that. If anything, it makes him more appealing to me. Why? Because it's flexible. That's one of the main reasons why I love Papyrus. He's mysterious enough that you can take creative liberties in his (and Sans') backstory. And that's what I've seen the fandom do, all the time! Remember Handplates? Babybones? The Dadster comics? All of those AUs were made by creators who took liberty in his mysterious nature and filled in the gaps of his mysterious past. And I love it. I do it too. It's fun to think about. And to be honest, I hope the brothers' backstory never gets revealed in canon. Not in full, anyway. I dunno, I just feel like some of their appeal would be lost, to be honest. I like that they're so mysterious.

He's still by far the most relatable character to me though. That's the reason why I enjoy writing him so much. It might just be because of his autism swag, though. I remember reading this post about Papyrus being autistic pretty early on during my time in the fandom, and I've pretty much been subscribed to it ever since. It just makes way too much sense to me I can't!

Also, I just wanna bring this up.

PAPYRUS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT. PAPYRUS.

Ah, he was probably being sarcastic.

Hell, I love his sarcasm! That's one of my favourite things about him actually! He's WITTY! He's SARCASTIC! And NO ONE FREAKING NOTICES!

That's just way too relatable to me, as a tone-deaf (but not when it comes to singing) autistic person who is frequently misunderstood because sometimes my tone sounds sarcastic when I really wasn't trying to be and sounds sincere when I was actually trying to be sarcastic. I wonder if Papyrus legitimately has that problem too, and just goes with it, or if I'm just projecting because I relate to him that much.

I really love this exchange because it highlights that aspect of him.

(I found this on a website that listed all of Papyrus' phone calls. And Undyne too, I guess.)

I lost track of how many times I've had to clarify what tone I meant to convey because people kept misunderstanding me. It's like being on the Internet, but in real life lol. (Okay, it's more like being on Twitter, but I don't have Twitter, and no, I will never stop calling it Twitter!)

I also just enjoy Papyrus' goofy nature in general. He has always been such a fun character, and his date is hilarious! I love this man and his autistic little antics so much! Do you think he'd like it if we all came together and met him in real life? Because considering his desire for popularity, I think that would be something Papyrus would definitely get behind! Personally, I would give him a hug.

The Mascot of Monsters!

Have you guys ever noticed how Toby Fox seems to really lean towards Papyrus in content outside of Undertale? Heck, even IN Undertale?!

Think about it. Who gets the special song in the kickstarter? Papyrus. Who gets the interview in the newsletter? Papyrus. Who does Toby Fox's avatar character set its sights on and targets the most? You guessed it! Alphys!

...Oh, wait no, it's Papyrus.

It makes me wonder what Toby Fox is planning with him. Unless Papyrus is just his favourite, which is understandable.

Seriously, though, besides the narrator, Papyrus gets the most lines in the game! I mean, cut your favouritism back a little bit, alright, guy? /j

I could theorise about this if I wanted to, but I'm just gonna do something different instead.

Papyrus is certainly the best mascot, lol!

The Narrative

At first glance, Papyrus doesn't seem to be that important to the narrative besides being the second boss. But as I've explained before, he's kind of the reason why the merciful ending even exists? To be brief, befriending him means you can befriend Undyne, and befriending Undyne means she will join Papyrus in the phone calls, which means Papyrus could convince her to make that love letter to Alphys, which means you can befriend Alphys, which means you get to see the True Lab (sharp inhale), and also he's the one who rounded everyone up and brought them to the castle, which meant that Flowey could complete his plan and- Well, you get the gist. Papyrus is the reason the best ending is possible.

I should also mention that Papyrus is literally the embodiment of the concept of MERCY in general. I wouldn't call him a pacifist. Not by a long shot. But he IS merciful. He literally does a variant of the same thing you do when you beat monsters up until they're at low health and then you spare them. He LITERALLY does that to you.

And then there's the more pacifistic approach in the murder route that everyone knows about. You know, the moment that solidified him as 'best boy'? The moment that genuinely made hundreds of people quit murdering everyone because he was just THAT kind?!

He basically teaches us mercy in the world of Undertale. Both ways, actually. Sure, Toriel gave the verbal version of it, but Papyrus showed us what it actually looks like. And that is awesome.

Conclusion

Papyrus is my favourite, no bones about it! The first character I got attached to, and I'm still attached to this day. He'll always have a special place in my heart. Also, he's just so adorkable.

Look at his dramatic numbnuts pretending he got shot when you eat his spaghetti. Look at him go. Consider this a BONE-us.

Anyway, that's all for now! Remember, please share your thoughts about Papyrus in the notes! Replies, reblogs, whatever, as long as you get your voice out there! Well, less voice, more text, but the principle is the same!

[sistersorrow]

Back in July, I had a problem: I had finished Nona the Ninth and realised I had no idea when Alecto the Ninth would come out

I didn't feel like picking out a new novel to read every 10 days or so, so I decided I'd pick one very long book and hope it tided me over until a release date was given

So on the 19th of July 2024, I started reading Worm, and a bit over three months later, I read the final line of the final chapter on October 23rd

I have had many thoughts about this book while reading it, and since I haven't had access to the internet for the last two week, I've also had many thoughts after reading it, mainly thoughts where I was drafting this post (despite thinking about my draft for five days, now that I'm finally writing it, I can feel the whole thing fading from my mind)

TL;DR: I genuinely think the ending didn't happen

Yes, the whole "It was all a dream/purgatory" angle is very cliche, but it's a very common theory in the Worm fandom for a reason (one of those reasons being Wildbow jokingly saying Taylor's in purgatory)

For me, that reason is that Taylor is way too okay with the state of her life after Golden Morning

Throughout the book, Taylor has a consistent pattern of behaviour where she sees a problem or has a goal, decides on a means of realising that goal/fixing the problem, with anyone who attempts to get in her way being treated as part of the problem, allowing her to more easily justify using ever escalating acts of incredible violence to terrorise them into either helping her or getting out of her way

Taylor, by her own admission lives for conflict because for her things make the most sense when she has a very clear target to oppose and doesn't have to think past the near future because in the present the target is actively trying to kill her, and there are people who simply refuse to listen to her when she talks about ways to deal with the problem

Her, I dunno, ascension(?) to Khepri is just that pattern of behaviour taken to its logical extreme: the problems are Scion and people refusing to fight Scion or not working together, so she resolves the issue by resolving the issue of their free will and makes them fight in concert to bully Golden Space Jesus into killing himself

Despite the Speck arc being 174 pages of Taylor's brain being formatted by a fragment of an alien god as it remove any aspect of her personality that doesn't either facilitate acts of violence or think of new ways to commit acts of violence, Taylor has never been more herself than in that moment, hell, when she finishes scouring the multiverse for capes to turn into superpowered people puppets for her slave swarm and faces down the most powerful being to walk the earth as she realises she's beginning to forget where her mother's grave is, she stops to think about how nice it is that everyone is finally working together for once, just like she always wanted

The kind of person who does that to herself and others simply is not going to be able to adjust to civilian life, where she's going to continue to be exposed to the systemic failings that frustrated her into being Skitter in the first place only now without the tools or resources she used to effect change back on her Earth

At best, Interlude: End Taylor would be horribly depressed, and at worst feel like she's been placed in her own personal hell

For this reason, I genuinely think Contessa realised there was no coming back from what Taylor had become and decided to end her there, with the final interlude being a dying dream cooked up by her shard or something just before their connection was fatally severed, and honestly, I'm completely fine with that cause it feels like a natural conclusion for her arc, even if dream theories are always a bit contentious

[fumblingbuffoon]

A note on Neil Gaiman.

CW: the assault allegations

My Tumblr page is basically just a place for me to collect pretty pictures. I therefore don't expect this post to have any impact anywhere. But, because I have shared Good Omens stuff on Tumblr, I realised that silence won't do, even though I have no podium. So:

Neil Gaiman has been accused of sexual assault by four women.

This is awful. I cannot reconcile this at all with the joy and kindness of the Good Omens TV show and its fandom.

The women who raised the allegations are the important people in this scenario. I offer my solidarity and care, even though it can do so little.

I am un-nerved that we haven't heard anything from the Good Omens team. I know that they are in a difficult position, I don't even know how they can respond. Silence creates its own problems.

My heart goes out to his long-term fans who must also be confused and distressed. Some will have experienced the same trauma, and will feel utterly betrayed.

I have tried to understand the situation by reading about the issues, then unfollowing NG, and I've taken his books off my reading list because I just can't.

I do still admire fan works, they are so creative and beautiful and funny. If I express admiration, its for them. I am conflicted and confused and I know that many others will be too.

This has happened again and again. I've been reading the sorry history of so many cover-ups of all sorts of predators (male and female). It made me realise that although I have no influence, silence can be misunderstood.

Finally, some of the allegations were initially raised on a feminist podcast that has links to some transphobic positions. Just for clarity: I reject those transphobic views out of hand.

I know there are many views on all these matters, and if you have a different take, I respect that. These are my own thoughts, and I'm only sharing them because I can't ignore the situation after being active on the fandom, at least for a little while.

Stay safe. Take care. Thank you for the joy and kindness you bring into the world.

[sometipsygnostalgic]

hypocritical because im a homestuck but i dont like simply extracting my favourite parts of media and leaving the rest behind.

shera fandom. i have things to say.

as a huge entrapta fan and an entrapdak fan i see a lot of other entrapdak fans try to extract the pairing from the show and label every other character as an asshole. you'll see a lot of "the princesses" or "the alliance" as this faceless whole of bullies. which drives me absolutely insane. because if you look at the show, "the alliance" is filled with a WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE, each of which has a completely DIFFERENT relationship to Entrapta, and it's only Entrapta herself who ever sees them as this unified big group that she's tried to befriend. I think there's a failure here to understand how entrapta's perception of events isn't entirely accurate. Bow and Adora, for example, were always trying to get her on their side - even though she hurt them the most directly - and they let her do what she needed to do even when it resulted in untold chaos. i also think there's a failure to try to understand what ableism is present in shera and what is not, and where the writing errors lie and how they can be rectified. there's this idea of "it can NEVER be rectified and the characters CANNOT be friends", despite... yknow... the show demonstrating otherwise, and the reason this is especially egregious is I'm sure people ONLY write it that way so they can push entrapta even closer to hordak by alienating her from all her other relationships. to do otherwise would require acknowledging that hordak has done bad things to the other characters and he needs to WORK on himself if he wants to be around them.

as a huge catra fan there was a post on reddit yesterday where someone put a tier list where catra was at the bottom. there was a LOT of people saying it was terrible and the person didn't understand the show, and i feel that perception, but there was also someone saying that anyone has the RIGHT to find a character really annoying and mean, and that they see catra this way. I thought about this, and realised that SO MANY people who will diehard stan Catra and argue that the post was insane will ALSO rank GLIMMER as a bottom character, simply because they find her annoying and mean. it made me think, why is it okay for people to find glimmer annoying and hate her, but suddenly toxic and ableist (the words a certain user had) for people to find catra mean and annoying? why is one thing suddenly a problem when both characters are fundamentally the same? there is a lack of self reflection in how people regard some of the characters. you can't just take Catra out of shera, project yourself onto her, and forget about all the other characters, what she's done to them, what kind of people might connect with them. you can't decide that catra good and glimmer bad because you like catra more.

[edennill]

If Tolkien characters had Tumblr blogs part 2:

part 1

Finduilas:

url: waitingtothewind

pfp: drawing of a fictional crush in pastel colours (babygirl fulfills her royal duty to exercise patronage over artists by comissioning reams of fanart lol)

bio: ✧˖･* princess finduilas of nargothrond :) ✧˖･* 47 ✧˖･* poetry appreciator ✧˖･* romantic at heart ✧˖･* girl of many fandoms ✧˖･* favourite animal: doggos ✧˖･* favourite food: strawberry juice ✧˖･* and if I had a voice that could make mountains melt I would walk over stars just to see how it felt ✧˖･*

title: ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

has a very pink custom theme with a fancy font. runs a fandom/aesthetic blog and stays clear of discourse. writes really good meta that is quite popular and poems that get notes in the single digits. doesn't really know how to deal with anon hate. participates in every tag game she comes across.

Maeglin:

url: keeps changing it between @molelol and @twilitdark because he likes small animals, but wants to sound edgy.

pfp: keeps changing it between a baby mole and the kind of very dark photo where you can't really see what it's supposed to be.

bio: M / not a minor

title: the dark under the trees

guards his personal info incredibly closely (a good practice, but how much of it is due to his father having been so controlling that he learned secrecy early on is up for discussion). rarely posts, mostly reblogs photos and shitposts. vaguely vents about his idril/tuor/gondolin/treason problems. when he gets into discussions with people he can be uncomfortably fierce, has sent anon hate on occasion.

Celebrimbor:

url: craftingsilver

pfp: red eight pointed star (default variation, not technically fëanorian) on yellow background

bio: older/younger than you think | look I've seen the Trees that's enough | Noldorin jewelsmith | male

title: time and soul, wrought and tempered

mostly posts and reblogs crafting tiktoks and tips, sometimes adds a dash of science, philosophy or something personal. has made a resolution to filter out any posts pertaining to his family on his dashboard and keeps to it almost till the end. shows a strong sense of humour and has gathered quite a following.

Idril:

url: celebrin-does-things

pfp: blurred photo of her with her back to the camera

bio: 500s - architect, wife and mother - everyone is welcome

title: "ammë, there's winter in my boots"

started off as a miscellaneous blog, but shifted to being mostly about Eärendil's shenanigans. she vaguely vents about maeglin/gondolin/cousin's treason sometimes, but still comes off as way more laid back than irl. hardly used her tumblr before her son was born and still treats it mostly as a place to document things he has said + a way to talk with like three treasured mutuals. the architect part in bio is mostly a ruse because she has only ever completed one or two projects but can hardly reveal she's a princess, can she? (before the fall of nargothrond if she got on tumblr it was to nag Finduilas to remove her personal info from bio hah)

@eri-pl, this is in part because you asked (a while ago, sorry), though I'm afraid I don't have much to say about all your suggestions. I prefer not to get into Sauron's headspace actually, but the idea of him having access to social media is horrifying lol. And Pharazon has all the worst characteristics of Reddit atheists, non-ironic modern white supremacists and racist trolls rolled into one with the added horror of the new unsavoury state cult. Míriel is not allowed a sim card🙁😬

also I'm just now realising I tagged a compatriot in something I wrote at 3 am so if you have time stamps on you now know my messed up sleep schedule and if you don't I've just told you lol but never mind.

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

PoC and queer people, and queers of color are not out here being mad at everyone for no reason. Did you guys think it was just a group of cishet white men who probably don’t even watch the show? We have begged all these years for aid, but it’s dystopian-like to see you guys come together and pay over $21 thousand for a billboard within a few hours. The “charities” aren’t listed, and even then seeing fans tell the organizers use all the money for advertisements is horrifying to say the least. Even more so adding on the creator is a Zionist and antiBlack, which again White people arent gonna give a shit about as they continue to show so in all fandoms. It’s the people affected that calls this guy out, and y’all don’t listen. Do what you want, but stop diminishing our voices as the “angry crowd” have some damn compassion

CW: Racism, Anti-Semitism, Zionism, This is a save space ship so please do not read if you don't have the spoons because there's heavy shit in here today. ------ Hi friend! First of all, I want to say thank you so much for reaching out and giving me some more information! Personally, I don't think what you're being mad about is "for no reason". For me, that's not where the issue lies, and perhaps you could provide me with some further insight. So far, the only kinds of responses to this campaign that I've encountered that are negative have been "Taika is a Zionist", and I have not encountered that "queers of color " we're having a problem. Now, that could be that I just haven't seen them and now that my reach is out a little further it's coming up-- which is great, I want to have a conversation about it. I am newer to the fandom so it's possible I just haven't been around for a lot of this in the past, I admit that. I would be more than happy to hear more about what it is that "Queers of Color" have a problem with regarding the show.

------

In regards to "Even more so adding on the creator (I'm assuming you're referring to Taika here as opposed to David Jenkins?) is a Zionist and antiBlack, which again White people arent gonna give a shit about as they continue to show so in all fandoms."

So, I can see why you feel that way. I've heard a lot from many people of color who feel as if they aren't being considered in a lot of fandoms (not specifically this one but general scifi , fantasy, etc). I am white, so I know that no matter what my background is culturally, I cannot understand the full extent of what our friends of color go through so I try to amplify the voices of those people when they bring information to the table. I do think this fandom cares, and would love to hear more if you're willing to provide it.

My First Question is, where is the narrative coming from that Taika is AntiBlack? He's of Te Whānau-ā-Apanui, an indigenous person, with jewish heritage. I did some googling (yes I realise that's not the most efficient or accurate tool, but I did try to find independant sources). The thing that sticks out most to me is regarding the 2020 following the death of George Floyd. Here is one of the articles I referenced:

Taika's tweet was "Watch the whole thing. Eloquent. Clear. Everyone is angry but there is a way to direct that anger." in response to Killer Mike's message asking “not burn your own house down” and instead “fortify your own house.” and to "Plot, plan, strategize, and organize" as he said in the video.

Now, I see a lot of reactions from people of color specifically stating "don't police my anger" and that is a 100% valid take. No one should be telling you how to channel your anger when as a society you are being murdered and you have to fight back to survive. I do think that everyone still has a lot to learn.

I am going to give you a little background on myself (not to toot my own horn, but to provide a little perspective on how much we are still learning). I am whiteyest white person there is, like I go outside and my skin practically lights on fire from my irish/eastern european ancestry, but I also have a black biological grandmother from Guayana who had ancestry back to many years before when slaves were brought over during the Atlantic Slave Trade. So growing up, even though I was white, I thought I had it all figured out on racism because my grandma was black. The narratives taught in US schools were that "racism was in the past" because schools had been white washed, and I grew up in Northern Virginia, where it was supposed to be "multicultural center of the country" since we were so close to DC. Over time, I started finding out from friends of color and indigenous friends that they were still experiencing racism towards them. I never knew, because I wouldn't have, it wasn't faced towards me. And I knew some-- but I didn't know enough even then 15 years ago. Roll around to 2010-12ish, several things occurred that made "black face" become more prominent and I had more discussions with my friends about what kind of racism they dealt with in their day to day lives. I used to color my arms when I was a kid with a brown marker because I wanted to look like my grandma. I found out at the ripe old age of 24 that was basically black face for a lot of people and that it wasn't ok.

2020 came, and George Floyd, and Brianna Taylor, Stephan Clark, Botham Jean, Freddie Gray and so many others were murdered by police and white supremacist shitwads, and suddenly, not just me but so many more white people started to get the slightest inkling of just HOW BAD it really was for black people in this country. That was the year honestly I started to question the systems of our government, and all the racial inequalities that I THOUGHT I had understood before.

Our government, our society culturally has tried its best to sweep racial inequality under the rug, and pretend like "racism is gone" when we still have systems built on racism, that benefit from racist systems of the past. (This is why it's so important that we keep fighting against people who want to white wash history books in a lot of the southern states like FL and TX) Is that an excuse? Of course not. But I believe in change whole-heartedly, and while I am still ashamed of the vast ignorance I had for so many years, and worry about the ignorance I still don't know I'm ignorant of, I do try to be better. I am trying to take that shame and continue to learn and chip away at my ignorance not only through others but on my own. I am not asking for you to pity, or to forgive me or any other white person for that kind of ignorance, what I'm doing here is trying to make a safe space to share and so you can see that people can actively change. Is it enough? Probably not, but it's a start.

-- Now, All that to say, regarding Taika... that tweet from 2020, as I said, quite a lot of people (of all colors) had their eyes opened that year to some pretty systemic racist horrors, and if that is the tweet that sparked the idea that Taika is "Anti-Black" I think, while you don't have to forgive him, it would be something to consider that quite a lot of people were well intending during that time but did not fully comprehend exactly how bad it was. I would however, if you'd be willing to chat with me in DMs about it, or send another ask, like to hear more if there was more evidence of it somewhere I didn't see.

-------- In regards to Taika being a Zionist... which I have heard from others quoting the letter he signed asking for the release of hostages in Gaza. I'm including a link to a copy of the letter just so people can read it, I realize the hollywood reporter isn't an amazing source, but it has the letter included, so thats why. Once again, when that letter came out back in October, quite a lot of people didn't actually know what was going on in Gaza.

We all heard brief things in our day to day news feed, but just like how everything is on the internet right now, information isn't "complete" it's broken up in fragments and it takes a really long time to compile them. There is misinformation galore, and it's incredibly easy to not hear the entire story. I know in October, I was dealing with health issues and I was completely just not paying attention what was going on (we all have our lives and as much as I'd like to say we can all be omniscient and fully present for all things it's truly not a reasonable expectation of any human being nor should it be, the world is a very large place, and we should help where we can but there's a limitation on human ability).

In my opinion, as someone who has tried a lot of their life to "do the right thing" and made a lot of mistakes and tried to learn from them, that letter, and Taika signing it seemed like a "Good intentions" situation again, hoping that he could help in someway. Am I making excuses for him? No, I'm expressing my perspective. I'm not here to change your opinion on him, I'm here to express why fans are still fighting for this show. Do you have other resources regarding his support of zionism?

What concerns me though as a whole, is people throwing 'Zionist' around very liberally these days. I am not an expert on the situation and I don't claim to be. However, growing up in DC when 9/11 happened, I can tell you that labels like that can get dangerous very VERY quickly. Muslim families I grew up with had their windows shattered with bricks on the night of 9/11 (and labeled terrorists) despite being pillars in the community and never having hurt a soul.

Right now, Zionist is a word that is being used to label someone in a very intense way, and it invokes dangerous responses in people. I do believe we really need to make sure we are labeling these situations properly because those kinds of labels CAN and WILL get out of hand very quickly and get people hurt.

I'm going to link to this article from the Anne Frank house to define Zionism. I am also going to list this article from the American Jewish Committee regarding racism and anti-semitism. Once again I'm not an expert on the situation going on in Gaza, and I'm happy to hear more regarding it.

-----------

In regards to your comments on the charities: There are some charities listed in a few places, they just aren't all part of the advertising campaign one:

The main one for Rainbow Youth is here: The Renew As a Crew Fundraiser (not the advertising one) https://ry-community.raisely.com/renewasacrew/ **The Advertising Campaign / Charities**

You mentioned in your ask "even then seeing fans tell the organisers use all the money for advertisements is horrifying to say the least".

I can understand why that would be horrifying to someone who is feeling raw the way that you are. It's completely valid. I would like to offer up the perspective that some people are very invested in this show for their own reasons (some people have never felt represented in major networks) and they too are allowed to feel excited and say things that might be in their own best interest. We are all allowed those opinions, and I think the more we shame people for wanting something, the less discussion we're going to be able to have. That said, I think the @renewasacrew leadership team made a good decision to stick to their original $10K for advertising, and the rest going to charity because of the confusion. It does the most good, and still allows the original intent -- to show the world how much Our Flag Means Death means to many people.

In regards to which charities they are going to -- I had seen somewhere that they were going to a charity Samba and Vico Ortiz had chosen but I asked the leadership team on twitter and this is what they responded with (which I think is fair, they're trying to take their time to make a good decision with the help of everyone involved).

-------------------

I would also like to point out however, that we do have the ability to care about more than one thing at once. One thing that makes life worth living is the little things that make us smile. I have a lot of stuff at home that makes life rough, and my escape is this gay pirate show, and this beautiful, compassionate community that supports it.

We are allowed to have things that we love as well as the things we fight for. I do a lot of my activism on facebook and in person, I don't bring it to tumblr much because this is the safe space for a lot of people to dream and have dreams. It is important for everyone's mental health to step away from the realities of life sometimes (which I know some people like those in Gaza or Ukraine can't do) or else we all burn out and can't help anymore.

I hope this helps a bit in showing you we do care about queers of color, and we do want to know more how we can help, and we are willing to listen. There's a lot of compassion in this community, and I think a lot of people would be willing to talk about it if things are done in a safe space. I do apologize that you feel like we've "diminished" your voices, that was not the intention. If you would like to use that voice to provide more examples and your views I'm happy to listen. I do think we need to allow people to enjoy things too though, because life's not worth living otherwise. Nothing is perfect, but we continue to try and improve.

I would also like to recommend that if the OFMD fandom renewal campaign is bothering folks, please feel free to block us. We don't want to make anyone feel bad, but we also want to express ourselves in a healthy manner. Much love your way Anon.

[uchihakeimei]

KaiNess, and why Isagi might be the villain in their story.

So, its blatantly obvious that Kaiser's only understanding of humanity is his father and that's the example he's following.

His father has scarred him deeply and that's what he believes humans do, because that's all he knows. So, he's simply repeating what he's learned, just in the context of soccer.

His relationship with Ness is another example of this. A 'master and servant/dog' relationship is the only kind of relationship he understands.

In his childhood, his father was the 'master' and he the 'loyal dog' who kept them alive and fed.

As he grew up, he became the master and Ness the 'dog' whose passes keeps their soccer career 'alive'.

Earlier, Kaiser was the soccer ball. Now Ness is the soccer ball.

(At the same time, I believe he's completely unaware of what he's doing. Yes, he knows that (or atleast believes that) he using Ness. But, he hasn't realised that this is almost the same as his father because... well... he's not beating Ness up, right? And in his own way, Kaiser even looks after Ness by keeping Ness's career alive. So he thinks that he's not the same as his father.

And funnily enough, it is true, but not for the reasons he thinks. He is not the same as his father because he does care for Ness, he just hasn't realised it yet. He volunteered information about his past when he had no reason to do so, his smile in Ness's backstory was 100% real.

In fact that's what makes him different, makes him redeemable.)

There's this one excellent Kaiser Meta that I have read which summarises the path to Kaiser's evolution excellently by @miyamiwu

While I largely agree with everything she has said (truly the best understanding of Kaiser in this fandom, imho) I do think Kaiser will evolve/awaken or atleast undergo some manner of positive change in this match, even if it's not a goal.

Kaiser has been set up as Isagi's long term rival, if not the main one. Their similarities and their differences, the depth Kaiser has been given, and most importantly, the fact that he's a non-Japanese U20 striker all lend credence to the hypothesis.

(After all, Isagi can't hope to become the best striker in the world if he can't be the best striker in Japan. Therefore, it stands to reason that his most important rival is not Japanese. It could be a newer character down the line, or it could be Kaiser or Loki. What is certain is that it won't be Noa. An opponent yes, but a rival? No)

Which is why, I think he's a little different from Rin and Nagi. Kaiser, due to being German, cannot appear in the manga with the frequency Rin and Nagi do and therefore, he cannot have the same arc they do either.

So. Kaiser needs to be developed/evolved. And it has to happen in this match or else he will lose his impact in the story. So how to do this? Because, as @miyamiwu said, Kaiser's problems run deeper, and a match is too short to resolve all of them. So, I suppose, what we do is that we skip a few steps.

1. Find a fellow “non-human.”

2. See himself as “human.”

3. Recognize love for what it is.

4. Redefine his “proof of existence”

Needless to say, Kaiser absolutely needs to, at the very least, complete steps 3 and 4.

Whether he sees himself as human or not, what he absolutely needs to realize is that he needs Ness (recognize that he loves Ness and cannot stand to lose him) and redefine (or realize) why he's playing soccer in the first place.

And this is where Isagi comes in, who plays the role of Kaiser's 'father' in this story. It has been speculated by many people that Ness would temporarily ally with Isagi (the naked king prophecy) which will result in Kaiser's goal.

Kaiser nearly lost his ball to his father and Kaiser will nearly lose Ness to Isagi.

(Another hint that Isagi will play the role of his father is that one comparison where Isagi threatened to 'kill' Kaiser.)

(This one)

(Interestingly, Ness's envy about Kaiser fixating on Isagi also seems like possible foreshadowing now. In Ness's pov, Isagi has been getting in between them since the beginning)

Except.

Ness is not an actual soccer ball. He's a human being capable of making his own choices. Ness allying with Isagi will only be read as betrayal and abandonment by Kaiser.

Abandonment quite literally means being 'unwanted' to Kaiser. With how intertwined everything is with football for Kaiser, Ness passing to Isagi will read as betrayal.

Even if he comes back, the damage has been done.

(Funnily enough, they were doomed either way because if Ness doesn't leave, then Kaiser would never realise his importance.)

Whether Kaiser evolves after this or not (personally, my money is on him evolving), KaiNess will be finished.

(Atleast temporarily, I hope)

.

.

.

(I have some theories on what might happen after this but honestly, I don't have the mental capacity rn to put them down in writing. But I had to get atleast this out because I also have an exam tomorrow and hyperfixating on german boys was not helping 😭)

(Interestingly, this particular 'betrayal' plot/theory might just be speedrunning step 3, 1 and 2 in that order. This will make Kaiser see that Ness is the soccer ball. Kaiser also recognizes himself as the soccer ball. Knowing that he loves Ness but Ness is the soccer ball but he also is the soccer ball might make him stop seeing himself as complete trash too. Or maybe just stop seeing the soccer ball as trash)

(Something something Isagi (the heart of Blue Lock) and making a mark on people, which is why he (Kaiser) is playing soccer. Because being human is making a mark on people but he went about doing it wrong because of his father. Maybe he will learn after he sees how Isagi made his mark on Ness? Or maybe he will emulate how Isagi makes his mark on Kaiser?? Learn from his 'father' once again)

(Writing that last sentence as a KaiSagi shipper was so weird 💀💀)

[redcracklestan]

Redcrackle ship analysis pt.1

As you can guess, i ship Redcrackle, and often, many people told me that I shouldn’t ship them for some reason.

Here I’m going to explain why it is totally ok to ship them (and why it is my favourite copule in the show).

What people told me about them is that they see each other as siblings, their age gap is too much, and that they never actually flirted with each other.

Like i did for carulia I’m gonna show y’all what i think of each of those topics.

They see each other as siblings

I think that it was oblivious that they SAW each other as siblings when they were still both at VILE, not anymore. You can clearly see this simply by the way they look at each other

I have a brother, and we don’t look at each other like that, yk?

While they were still at VILE, they looked at each other very differently

That is a brotherly look, while they were younger, but then you can clearly see that their dynamic changed, because they grew up, they changed and their feelings for each other changed too, it’s normal that way, and it’s always been that way. Their trope is really complicated, but their feelings for each other went like from best friends to lovers, and it’s not “problematic” as someone says, instead they have chemistry, they bonded as friends and they proceeded seeing each other as the sibling figure they never had since they were both orphans, and they ended up developing some romantics feeling once they both matured and aged.

Plus I realised reading some fics and just scrolling on the internet, that prolly Carmen only saw Gray as a big brother figure because she only had the “family” kind of love in her life since that moment. Maybe she had stronger feelings for him that she couldn’t classify because the only love she ever felt was for the faculty, which was more like a family to her, no romantic feelings involved. Then Graham came and she saw him as a big brother, as her found family, because it was the only love she was surrounded with for her whole life, and that then, she realised that she had some romantics feelings for him, once she grew up and experienced more in her life.

Their age gap is too much

Ok, in this fandom, there are people from all over the world, so everybody has a different opinion on this (for example, where i live, there are such bigger age gaps)

But you have to consider that they are only 2 years apart (Carmen is 20 and Gray is 22), and they’re both adults and consenting, so I can’t really see any problems with that.

They never actually flirted with each other

Apart from the fact that they, in fact, have flirted but people say that they didn’t because one of them was brainwashed during it, as we saw they showed their love for each other multiple times, in multiple scenes, in many different way (flirting is not the only way to show love).

Bro risked his life to SAVE HER (I can’t put every time he did it because of the image limit)

Bro was willing to be locked up in JAIL just to make sure that his gf got his memories back

Bro was willing to never see her again just to give her the opportunity to start a new life.

Not mentioning the fact that when he was brainwashed, he went all way to New Zealand to help someone he barely knew, just to have a cup of coffee with her.

And I strongly believe that he hesitated on purpose on that train to Paris, he didn’t wanted to kill her, he knew damn well how to defend himself from someone holding a weapon on him (as we see in the scene with Devineaux when he got his memories back and he beats his ass) + he also knew very well that she couldn’t use the weapon because of the fingerprints activation, he had no reasons to hesitate like that, except one, the boy was so in love.

Also all the things that carmen did for him, every time she said goodbye to him for his own well-being (at the coffee, on the Himalayas), every time she saved him (at Dr.Bellum’s place, on the Himalayas).

Plus, they are literally red and blue lovers.

LOOK! She is the literal definition of red. He is the literal definition of blue. If that is not a sign, guys, idk what it is.

Other than that, think about when they opened to each other about their pasts, when he told her that he didn’t wanted to hurt her even though they were enemies and basically any interaction they have, and like I said before, their eyes can talk 100%, it’s so clear. They are so cute. I love them. No one can change my mind.

They just have so much chemistry, parallels, and everything.

Concluding I wanna drop a bomb.

I honestly believe that if Gray was a girl, everyone would love him and the ship. They as a copule would be seen better from everybody on this fandom.

Ok, in the end, I only did 1 part, but maybe I’m gonna do some more? Idk, really. Anyway, sorry if i did any grammatical errors, but English isn’t my first language so…

I hope you enjoyed this “analysis” If we can call it that way, see you soon!

[sarasade]

Part of me almost hopes that Viren's story arc will end in a disproportionately cruel way, you know.

I'm just so tired of seeing a character doing one good thing before they die or trying to change before they die and instead of the audience taking that as purposeful ambiguity the discussion will center around if the character was "Redeemed".

But imagine if he was punished so harshly that even the Viren haters would feel bad for him. Now that would be interesting! I've seen some dark speculation around season 5 so I'm looking forward to seeing how the show will contextualise his arc.

I don't understand why "Redemption" is such a popular talking point when centering villains (ok I actually do. I'm looking at you, Zuko).

"Sin and Atonement" and "Redemption" are deeply Christian themes. I don't think those should be a universal frame of reference to all stories.

Yes, yes, this is more of a fandom problem, not a show problem. But if people want to see a bad character harshly punished for their crimes maybe they should get that for once. I don't really mind because I think Viren, while unlikeable, is a sympathetic character already. Of course I feel for a character even if they are "irredeemable". That's what stories are for.

I don't mean it's a completely useless way to look at art but it's just- I don't know- I'm bored? Especially YouTube commentators talk about redemption constantly instead of engaging with the themes that actually are there.

Sometimes villains can't even really make up for everything they have done, just like some people in real life. Viren has committed so many crimes- like how do you even fix that? However it'd still be interesting if he tried to change. That's what I'm here for. Like Viren and Claudia are not just an antagonistic counterforce to our heros but they have a lot of going on as unique characters.

Viren has his saviour complex and values domination over cooperation. Claudia is interesting because she's both the victim and the perpetrator. It's interesting how self-sufficient she is while being deeply emotionally codependent on Viren. She has a ton of agency as a physically (magically?) strong person but not a ton of agency as an independent, emotionally strong individual. Viren and Claudia love each other but it's isolating kind of love where they don't really have anyone else but each other (Terry is really trying to get in there. Like sorry Terry you don't know how fucked up these two are lmao).

No wonder it was so easy to Aaravos take Viren's place as an authority figure in Claudia's life after Viren died. Or at least that's what I took away from Lost Child short and TDP season 4 in general.

I still think about the first information we got outside Viren and Claudia's POV about Aaravos's mirror: Runaan's warning about "A Fate Worse Than Death".

This framing device sounds really important. I've been wondering how it'll play out eventually. Is it something about Viren losing his old life he worked so hard to build, or will he lose Claudia in some metaphorical or literal way? Is it something even more personal?

Personally, I'd love to see Viren live and change as a person. There are plenty of high-fantasy male characters like him who go through that kind of transformation: Guts from Berserk, Geralt of Rivia, Jaime from GoT, Ged the Wizard... You know, characters who realise that the things they value are unsustainable or even harmful to themselves and to people around them and even to the world as a whole. Or they realise that superficial things like status and power are unfulfilling and only serve status quo. There are some parallels to toxic masculinity/ hegemonic masculinity, too.

However, I think it'd be interesting if Viren's story will be a deeply tragic one. Anyway I'm here for this.

[lgbtqreads]

hello there! this isn’t exactly a rec request, but it is something i’ve thought about a lot over the last couple of years — and i thought i could maybe ask you or your followers for some advice on it, since it sort of pertains to the idea behind this blog, if that’s okay?:)

so i’m a writer, and someone who reads a lot of queer books, and also someone who’s really passionate about seeing more queer books with characters from lesser-known places, with lesser-known queer identities, etc.

being someone from a place that’s definitely not as widely talked about as say, the usa, with a somewhat ‘complicated’ queer identity that i haven’t quite seen reflected in books before, and also someone who loves to write… i really want to write a book with queer characters who are similar to me and the queer community around me. but i genuinely can’t. and i know this sound stupid, but i honestly don’t know why that is.

the issue isn’t the writing itself, i don’t think — i write fic quite often, and a lot of the fic writing i do is about queer headcanons for characters. and whilst i’ve never written a novel before, like in a published sense, i’ve written a lot of (not fic) short stories, and have a couple of (also not fic) projects that could be described ‘almost complete novel-length drafts that i’ve put a lot of planning and editing into’

the problem is that all of these above projects were written before i realised i was queer. so whilst many of them have characters whose queerness is just a ‘casual’ thing that isn’t a huge part of the narrative — while that’s perfectly valid, it isn’t the sort of thing i’d like to write now.

i’ll often get ideas for queer novels or short stories i could write, and i’ll often try to outline those ideas. sometimes i even start writing these ideas — i’ve started so many of these projects — but i can never continue with them past a couple of pages, and i really don’t know why. i’ve tried switching povs, tried different genres, etc.

as i write this i think that some part of it may be that, for the past couple of years, most of what i’ve written has been fic; maybe i’m having a problem going from that to creating my ‘own’ worlds, even though i’ll often put more creativity into fic but that same creativity just doesn’t show up even when i only need a bit of it for writing that isn’t fic, lol

but i don’t know if that’s the whole problem. i write plenty of (not fandom related) poetry, but i can never bring myself to write poems that centre around the idea of queerness even though it’s a huge part of my life, even though i want to be writing poems about it.

i also wonder if the problem isn’t related to writing, but rather my life — i’m in a place where still forced be closeted, still living with homophobic parents and still living in a community that where i feel unsafe to even discuss queerness. although i’ve been able to write about, in a fandom and not fandom way, things that are also heavily disapproved of by those around me, like being mentally ill, so i don’t know why i can write about those things but when it gets to stories about being queer my brain just says ‘nope’

and this just… makes me really sad. i want there to be certain queer stories in the world, and i know that no one else can write the way i will (not an ego thing, just a ‘all stories are unique’ thing), and i want to create the stories i would’ve always wanted for others around me who want the same thing. i love this blog, and it always makes me so happy to see the amount of queer reads that exist, but i also kind of want to facepalm myself whenever i see the amount of stories on here because i always think, how is it possible that so many people can write what they want to but i just can’t, even though i also want to, like what is wrong with me, you know?

i’m so sorry, this got super long! feel free to delete/ignore, that’s also valid.

but after all of this my question is basically ‘i want to write original stuff that centres around queerness, can’t. does anyone have any advice, or has anyone been in a similar position and would like to share their experience’?

also really wanna say thanks to you and everyone who contributed to this blog, through rbs, replies, etc… seeing the amount of and variety of queer stories that people love makes me so emotional and grateful, and i love y’all for telling our stories and sharing them. even though i struggle with adding to this as a writer, that struggle hurts less when i know how much love there is for all of these stories that already exist<33

Well, I can only speak from my own experience as an author, but it is very much possible to be too close to something to be able to write it at that time... but it sounds like maybe it’s the idea of taking full ownership of a queer work from start to finish is really difficult considering where you’re coming from, or even an instinctive safety concern, and that certainly makes a lot of sense to me! 

You might try different points of inspiration, so that rather than fic, it still feels grounded in someone else’s source (e.g. my book Home Field Advantage was entirely inspired by a photograph from the New York Times), or maybe try working off one of your fics and just revising it so thoroughly that it becomes its own thing that way. Or, since you love poetry, maybe try a different form by writing a novel in verse? Could be a real fresh start to get you out of your head. 

I do hope you will find a way to put your work out into the world eventually, because while we do have many, many queer books, as you said, all stories are unique, and especially when it comes to stories from perspectives outside the US, there are certainly massive gaps I know would mean a lot to readers to see filled <3

[frankiebirds]

hii!! 11 + 17 for the ask game!!! :))

salty ask game

these got long so they're under the cut. thank you for the ask!!

11. is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? why?

I can't really think of any off the top of my head but two close answers:

i don't understand the hatred towards jordan todd. at all. not because i like her but because i truly can't imagine feeling that strongly about a character who was in eight episodes. i also really liked her inclusion for how it reminded the audience "hey the BAU is Not Normal. they are largely desensitized to the things they see (not that they're unaffected, not at all, but they deal). here's how a normal person would react." i'll probably write a whole thing about it when i get to her introduction but i think her character served a really good purpose

nathan harris. he's not hated or even disliked, but a lot of the fic about him has him coming back as an unsub (not that that isn't a compelling and plausible premise!) but i like to think that nathan goes on to lead a relatively normal life. a lot of the time, especially when it comes to the more sympathetic unsubs, the audience and the characters are thinking "if only someone had intervened before it got to this point..." and nathan is a little underutilized in fic as an example of that intervention succeeding, if that makes sense? i also really like his character for how he put reid into a role he doesn't get often, as the one providing guidance and support for a younger character. if nathan came back as an unsub, that would just put reid into the victim role, which he is unfortunately very familiar with. i just think his dynamic with reid as it is in the episode is far more interesting than him becoming a killer. (again: i have no problem with those fics. ive read several! im not complaining about their presence, just the lack of the opposite, if that makes sense?)

SORRY i know i didnt really answer the question :(( i didnt just want to say "no" because thats a boring answer so you get these vaguely connected ramblings instead

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

TW DRUG ABUSE

i know this is a very basic and unsurprising opinion in the cm fandom but i really wish we'd gotten a real addiction arc for reid. he just kind of...stops using offscreen? it felt a little like the writers realised they had no idea how to write a character dealing with opioid addiction and just went "nvm he's better now <3" it just felt very noncommittal and underwhelming.

this is dark, but i would especially have loved to see reid hitting rock bottom. there are only so many option for that that wouldnt make him keeping his job...highly unrealistic, but one that comes to mind is him going on a full-on bender. i think that specifically could have really worked because they would still be able to relegate most of his drug use to the implied/offscreen, both for the purpose of time (because the A-plot is always the case) and to avoid getting too graphic with it, which i think may have been a concern.

now im specifically picturing an episode starting with reid picking up the phone to hotch telling him they have a case. he doesnt look Well, and when he hangs up, we get a wide shot of where he is and it becomes obvious what happened the night/weekend before. maybe it becomes apparent he doesn't even remember most of it. i think that would really fuck with him—it would fuck with anyone, but especially reid. that would be a good opportunity for ethan, too. he implied he had a problem with alcohol in 2x18 and i would have liked to see him help as someone who Got It at least a little bit.

[lifenconcepts]

Your Assumptions of me ((I copied the Text)) ->

I presume you probably carried around some sort of toy as a child, you liked to do things by yourself in group projects at school, may have had a certain activity you looked forward spending with a certain person before that person and you grew apart, have a blurry concept of what interests you and more or less just point out things when you see them with “yeah I like/ don’t like that”, have had some odd fandom in the past you swore nobody has ever heard of but you probably sort of forgot now and/or realised that you aren’t the only one, played some sort of silly flash game riddled with dozens of ads, have possibly fallen for one of those “free so and so here!” Ads, in the family gay at school possibly played the mother and/or pet, have some stuff for hobbies you haven’t touched in years, constantly judge your own art despite it being absolutely beautiful, have some sort of hanging decoration on your walls, have a distinct smell of which you associate your childhood with yet can’t pinpoint it, have had certain beliefs/actions/habits you can’t really understand what caused them to form, feel more at home with animals than humans, have probably studied animal behaviour or atleast cats/dogs, own/owned a pet?, have considered something like an exotic creature such as a purple axolotl idk, have made or received a bracelet before, chose shapeshifter if asked what super power you’d like to have.

Let’s go though all of the, shall we.

01. -> I did carry around a Toy as a Child, more specifically Plush Animals. However I only did that as a very Young Kid, because I developed a bit of a Hygiene Funk, meaning I had the Desperate Need to keep all of my Belongings clean, so I stopped bringing my Toys outside with me.

02. -> Yes, very much. I still do, I fucking Hate Group Projects. I either do all the Work, or keep getting forgotten ((mostly the First Option)).

03. -> Again, True. The Activity was just playing on the Playground at School together, and the Person was a Boy, who was known as the Class Clown, and Trouble Maker of our Class. He was a nice kid either Way. We grew Apart after a While.

04. -> True. I always kinda struggle when People//Beings ask me what Interests me, because It’s all somewhat Blurry. I have no Problem what I like, or dislike though, as long as It’s actually sitting in Front of me.

05. -> For me that Fandom was Creepypastas. I know it’s not actually unpopular in English Spaces, but It sure was In Germany. Basically no one around me knew what they even were.

06. -> I did play a Bunch of Silly Games with too many Ads. I don’t know If they Count as Flash Games though. Most of them were either Mobile Games, or Games on a Website that belonged to a German Kids TV Channel, called “Toggo”.

07. -> Surprisingly, I have never actually fallen for any of those Scams. Probably because I was an overly cautious Child.

08. -> Yeah. For the Family Play, I full out refused to be Anything but a Pet. Makes a lot more Sense now. The other Kids started being Super annoyed at me after a while, and just kind of started to stop asking me to Play with them.

09. -> That Hobby is stringing Animals out of Pearls ((I don’t actually know what it’s called)). I still have the Pearls, and the Instructions on how to do it, but I just haven’t touched any of It In Years. Also Diamond Painting. I only own Four, but I still have an unfinished one, that I just haven’t finished. It’s been unfinished for 2 Years now.

10. -> I judge my Art constantly. I definitely am my own Worst Critic.

11. -> I have lots of Hanging Decorations on my Wall, including, but not Limited to, a small Fake Deer Head.

12. -> Yes, definitely. I just started calling the Smell “Nostalgia” in my Head. I mostly seem to smell it in my Grandparents House.

13. -> I can never Pinpoint how literally any of my Believes, and Habits came to be. So this is once again, very much True.

14. -> I always have too. I have certain Memories of me Being at some kind of Farm, or something of the Like, and just being Alone with the Animals, and Full on Avoiding the Humans.

15. -> I studied Animal Behaviours as a Child a Lot. It fascinated me, still does. For both Cats, and Dogs, but also the many Insect I saw In our Backyard. I especially know a Lot about Cat Behaviour, since I quite literally grew up with them.

16. -> My Mother has owned a Lot of Cats over the Years, and the occasional Dog. There has literally not been a Single Year In my Life where we did not have some Kind of Pet.

17. -> A Snake actually. I still do want to get one eventually, though only when I have the Money for It.

18. -> I made Bracelets exactly once, and for some Reason that Memory has burned Itself into my Mind. I kind of want to get Into Kandi though.

19. -> Yes. I’m Non-Human, with many Kintypes, what Super-Power did you expect me to choose ?

HOW did I get all those things right!? Also, truly, you’re so fascinating and I would just love to go for a stroll in the dark night within your mind, like an old man with a cane on an overgrown path, I want to venture into the woods and get lost and found by something so much more than just another person, to find myself within whoever finds me - do you understand?

[rypnami]

seeing many people posting now has broken my heart. it seems the toxicity in this fandom is almost bone deep. i don’t know what i expected, having interacted with other hp fandoms in the past.

how can people treat others like this? how? i won’t claim to be perfect. i’ve said and done things in this fandom that were most definitely unkind at times. i’m trying to learn and grow from my mistakes. i’m sad to say it seems like that is not the case for a lot of other members of this fandom

i have been struggling recently. horrible things have been happening and seeing how awful people can be has added to the pile until it’s hard to take anymore. being torn down to the point where i had thoughts of genuinely believing i don’t deserve to be alive is something i won’t wish on anyone else.

this isn’t about me though anymore. not that it ever really was. i think we all need to look at our behaviour from a new point of view. we should care about each other- there was a time we all got along and bonded over things.

all of this is so silly. over what? pixels? a lot of people have acted irrationally- and yeah, i think that includes myself. i’m sure after the stream today things will get worse. i’m heartbroken to see the state of a community i once felt safe and happy in.

i miss being able to look at these characters and feeling good.

i posted a general apology to the fandom a few days ago but at this point i’m starting to see that i was blaming myself for a problem that is fandom wide. i don’t take my words back, but i also think that others should reflect as i have.

i don’t think anyone in this fandom are bad people. i think we all have just gotten too caught up to realise the damage being done- i know i did. i didn’t even notice my own actions until they were pointed out to me, albeit in a harsh and frankly mean manner.

to my friends in the fandom, i love you all dearly. you have been nothing but kind and supportive of literally everyone and for that i will always be grateful. i’m glad to have you in my life.

to people who were my friends, or left the fandom, i love you all too. i’m lucky to have made such lovely connections, no matter what.

i’m not entirely sure why i’m writing this. i suppose i just want to go back to how things were for everyone back over the summer. a fun, lighthearted, stupid good time. i’m not naïve enough to think this will completely change what’s happening, but i hope this reaches at least a few people.

can we please do better? for the sake of everyone, can we try to be better?