#but just knowing they're around again is crumbling everything in my brain

[woso-dreamzzz]

Snap

Leah Williamson x Reader

Summary: It's all Leah can hear

The snap is what Leah hears and the snap is what Leah hears only.

She can't hear your scream. She can't hear the yelling from the crowd. She can't hear anything as that snap echoes around her brain.

The North London derby was always this kind of scrappy. Everyone expected it. Everyone looked forward to it.

More yellow cards flew for both teams than probably any other fixture.

Tackles always held a little bit more passion, a little bit more aggression than usual.

But not like this.

Never like this.

No one ever wanted it to be like this.

Leah can do nothing but stare. It feels like minutes, time slowing down around her as she watches. It can't have been more than seconds.

It's not her that makes the tackle. It's some new academy girl that's been called up to replace an injured teammate.

Leah can't quite recall her name but she goes in for the tackle, studs up.

Studs up and not even aiming for the ball.

And not even for your ankle either.

She goes in for your leg and your crumble under the force of it.

Leah doesn't know if the rest of the stadium heard the snap but she certainly did.

She heard the snap.

It was all she could hear.

Chaos erupts from everyone - teams, staff, supporters - but Leah can't hear any of it.

You're on the ground, face split open in a scream that she can't hear, tears dripping down your face as you clutch as your bloodied leg.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. It's going to be okay. Stop moving. Stop moving."

Leah can't remember when she moved. She can't remember shoving past your Spurs teammates and getting on her knees to hold your head still.

"Baby, I know it hurts. I know but you just have to stay still. It could be worse than we think. Alright, stay still for me."

You suck in a breath. "L-Leah," You croak out, voice cracked and quiet," It hurts."

"I know," Leah says, feeling panicked as she glances over to the side lines, watching as the medics run on," I know, baby. I know. It'll all be better soon. Just hang on."

Everything still feels like slow motion to Leah, panic clawing at her consciousness.

You try to move your head again, to look at your leg but Leah's hands are clamped tightly around you.

"You-You don't want to see it," She says," Trust me, baby."

"I...Leah, it hurts. It hurts so bad."

"I know," It's all Leah can say, all she can do to keep you calm," I know, baby. But it'll be over soon. The medics are just coming."

She's right, of course and in any other circumstance, she would brag endlessly about it, about being right.

But not now.

Not with you injured and your leg very clearly broken and bloody.

One of the medics gives you a green whistle that you suck on generously before you're loaded up on the stretcher.

That academy player gets a red card and Leah doesn't even care that they're down to ten on the pitch and the open gap next to her is what leads to Spurs equalising and the derby ending in a draw.

"What was up with you and l/n?" Katie asks in the locker room," I didn't know you two were friends."

Leah changes quickly, not even bothering to shower when it means spending more time away from your bedside.

"We're not friends," She replies, throwing her boots into her bag and unplugging her phone charger.

"Really?" Katie says in disbelief," You guys looked so close when she got injured. You wouldn't leave her side."

"She's not my friend," Leah says bluntly," Because she's my girlfriend who is now in hospital after a stupid, reckless-"

"Leah," Kim cuts in, glancing over to the showers where the academy girl has been inside since her red card nearly half an hour ago ," Go and see her. I'm sure she's waiting for you."

Leah cuts off her oncoming rant, zipping up her bag angrily before storming out.

Her hands clench her steering wheel tightly as she drives, only stopping off once to grab some snacks and some flowers.

"Hey," You say as she walks into your hospital room," Oh, Leah, they're beautiful."

You take the flowers from her as she dips down to give you a kiss.

"I was worried about you," Leah says, glancing down at your leg," How bad?"

"A clean break," You reply," So just a cast and no surgery. The blood made it look worse than it is. I'll be okay."

"Are you sure?" Leah asks," You can tell me. You don't have to try and save my feelings."

"I promise," You say," It's all okay. Nothing too bad."

"Definitely?" Leah checks," You're not trying to stop me stressing?"

"Definitely," You agree with a little laugh," Nothing too bad. Nothing to stress about."

Leah blows out air noisily, finally relaxing in the stupid plastic chair by your bedside.

"Now," You say," Did Spurs equalise?"

Leah groans.

[cardsweetheart]

Idia tired of always being the one to get flustered. Yumi is so flirty with him and he never has any idea how to counter it. He can barely think straight when she's all up in his space.

It's not until they're hanging out in his room, separately playing their own games, that he hears a noise over his headphones. He spins around in his chair and sees her face going red, even though she's trying to hide it with her phone. Her legs kicking in the air. It was classic fangirling behaviour, but he's never seen it this bad from her.

He moves from his chair and shuffles his way over to join her on the bed. She does her best to turn her scream away. Jokingly screaming that he's not allowed to look. He's not allowed to see what she was playing.

"You've seen my game library, it's nothing worse than me." He insists. "Besides, if you don't show me I'll just check through the dorm wifi files."

With a suspecting glare on her face, "You can't do that."

Idia takes the moment of weakness to swipe at her phone and sneak a look. He sees the classic visual novel UI. Dialogue boxes, stock background image, a heart meter in the corner made sense for Yumi's taste in games.

Her voice shrieks out, "GIVE IT BACK!" She reaches for the phone but she is still on her stomach and out of range.

"What's the big deal? It's just a dating sim. I've seen you play a hundred of these."

He clicks to let the next set of text scroll across the screen. The character sprite popping back up. There is a small flash of blue before a pain hits him near his knees. He crumbles onto the bed and Yumi steals her phone back from him. He watches her frantically exit the game and shove her phone under whatever bedding she can get her hands on.

"Ow?" He shouts.

"I'm sorry! I panicked." She yells back. Her tone shifting quickly back to a pout, "You should know better though! I don't judge you for your mains. You can't just take a girl's privacy like that you know. I didn't take you for the type Shroud."

She was doing it again. Leaning into his space. Talking in a tone that made his heart race. There was no way he was going to let her get away with having the advantage. He just needed something to break her chain combo. Throw her off. Let him get a few attacks in before she's back to destroying him.

He shifts his weight so he's sitting up, facing her. He has no idea what he's doing. She was so much better at this than he was. He's a fighting games guy, not an otome player. His eyes dart to the heap of blankets she'd piled together to protect her phone. Maybe that was it. Maybe he didn't need to be himself at first. He could get there some day but he couldn't back down now. He needed something that was going to knock her out. He reaches out to dig under the duvet.

Her own hand lunges forward to block him, and he catches it. It is taking everything in him to follow through. He can feel how sweaty his palm is immediately but the look on her face is enough to fuel him forward. She's not pulling away. He could do this. His mind is working through the haze to the back of his mind to try to find any love interest line he could remember.

"I wouldn't dream of invading your privacy Yumi. I just want to know more about what gets you so riled up."

Yes. Perfect. That was smooth right? Not cringe at all. She's not looking at him in disgust. Her cheeks are starting to go pink. That was it. He did it. He's won.

His hand doesn't let go. A speechless Yumi was a rare sight and the way she was looking up at him had him pushing himself closer to her. Moving against his own brain's screaming. What are you doing? What is happening? Shut up. Shut up. Quit while you're ahead!!

"You really should be more careful." He says but his voice doesn't feel like his own, "We're in my room, alone. In my bed of all places. You can't be that stupid to not know the implications."

Implications?! What was he saying right now? Where is this coming from? Why was he calling her stupid?

"I'm the house warden of a different dorm. There's so many ways I could take advantage of the situation."

He would never! Maybe. Would this count as-? She does look really cute under him like this. How is this working? It's like some cheesy limited edition vignette.

"It's your own fault anyway you know? You're not like any other girl ive ever met. I've spent so much time thinking about you. The sound of your voice. How you'd look in my clothes. Your lips. If they'd taste like those peach candies you're always eating. What the rest of you would taste like. Knowing that if I got you under me like this- If I got too close, I won't be able to stop."

He doesn't know how but she's on her back, him caging her in. When did that happen? How? Who was he right now? Did someone hack his body and add some kind of confidence mod? His every nerve was on fire. She was so close to him. Like he could lean down ever so slightly and they would kiss.

"Tell me to stop." He whispers.

It's a plea. He can't control himself. He's not sure what powerup he unlocked but it's too OP for him. It's more than either of them can handle. Sure, this is what he wanted. her a blushing mess, but he didn't expect to get this far.

A loud slam comes from the entrance of the room. A startled Ortho stands in the doorway. An amused expression on his face.

"I heard a commotion and wanted to confirm you two were okay. Don't let me interrupt!" Ortho says as he closes the door behind him.

Idia was going to throw himself into the Styx. He finally takes a breath and feels like he's in his own body again.

Yumi's rolled herself over to scream into a pillow. Curled up in on herself. It was the same noise he'd heard before and he's almost certain he saw some kind of relationship bar go up above her head.

[professorfcknmoriarty]

AU where Kipperlilly got rezzed offscreen and tries to quietly go back to school for senior year (her parents tearfully offered her Mumple, that's where they went, but they can't afford to send her to Hudol) after a summer of aggressive therapy with someone other than Jawbone. She remembers it. Mostly. There's gaps, most of which they say are from her brain protecting her from the damage, that it's because she was being controlled. But she knows. She knows what she did, what choices she made.

And yeah, she regrets some of them. Mostly that they didn't work out. That she threw in with people as useless and incompetent as Porter and Jace turned out to be. She regrets the damage it had on the people she cares about, on her friends. Especially upon being able to reflect back and see how much they changed after the ritual she asked them - made them - undertake for her, how little they were of the people she'd known for so many years up at the end.

She still hates the Bad Kids. They're assholes, alright? It's not fair. Maybe they are amazing and capable of a lot despite how crazy and chaotic they are and yes she understands that a lot - not all, but a lot - of her anger at them isn't justified, is misplaced and actually directed at other things, they just make easier targets for her rage.

It's weird. Being seen after so long of hiding just out of sight. Some of the kids point and stare at her when she passes in the hallway, and that grates at her, seethes at her skin. That's the worst of it. No one bothers her directly or tries to talk to her about it, not even to yell at her like she expected them to do. Begrudgingly, she knows that she's helped by the fact that Kristin Applebees, the student body president, says "sup" to her in the hallways sometimes and seems to have forgiven her.

Kipperlilly has a plan for this year, a plan to get through the year intact, and move away to make a name for herself on her own terms.

It takes until weeks into the school year, by the fourth party that while not held at Seacastor Manor still manages to be thrown by Fabian and not someone new, before she realizes that the schoolwide invites includes her as well and not just the rest of her adventuring party.

It takes until the seventh party of the year before she sets foot in one. It's shrimp themed. It's got to be a joke she doesn't understand, beyond the fabled Shrimp Jump she heard about from last year, some running theme of theirs that's as nonsensical as they are. She hates it. Hates the smell of shrimp everywhere, hates Kristin and her gods damn wranglers, the way she tucks her fingers into a stupidly large belt buckle, and strolls around the party holding court with everyone.

It's not fair. It's never been fair.

"Hey, what's up?" Kristen had asked her, coming up behind her as she strode out of the bathroom from splashing water on her face. (She'd have a drink, talk to someone, and leave, she had decided.)

She doesn't even remember what she'd said back. Something bitter, probably. Something that had been building from every hallway encounter, every smirk of her tormenting lips, every flex of her thick, muscular arms in Kipperlilly's line of sight.

"I still hate you," she finds herself saying. The words are muffled by Kristin's tongue in her mouth, her hands on Kipperlilly's thighs holding her up against the wall, making her groan in frustration.

Her resolve doesn't crumble. She's chaotic. A problem. She's gonna mess everything up in Kipperlilly's "Get My Life Back on Track" Plan. She digs her fingers into the thick muscle of one of Kristin's arms, into her taut waist, feels the way the back of her thighs clench as they easily hold Kipperlilly's body aloft.

"Yeah, okay, well, I still think you're four dogs," Kristin says, just as obnoxiously as the first time, and kisses her again.

[six-eyed-samurai]

After seeing the newest chapter with Enjin being a fan girl for a singer. I had to ask this.

How do you think Enjin would be if the person they're dating likes to sing, but finds it embarrassing to sing in in front of anyone?

(Including him. He didn't even knew you sang until he heard you)

A/N: I'm a horrible singer myself. Unless you ask me to rap, then I'm still horrible at doing doom dada. ALSO. YOU SPOILED ME. WHEN THIS CAME IN I HADN'T READ THE LATEST CHAPTER YET. HOW DARE YOU. >:(

Most people sing in the shower for privacy. You already showered and since no one was around - if they were, you would've dragged them over to help you with all this stupid paperwork! - you figured there was no reason not to, right? The door was closed, most of everyone was out, and paperwork was like a repellent, just not for mosquitoes.

The Too Lily song your obsessed fan of a boyfriend kept playing was stuck in your head, so naturally you ended up off-key humming it on accident. It gave your tired brain something else to think about, other than trying to make the words swimming in front of you make sense. At some point your foot started tapping along as well, and you knew you were too far gone when your pen started clicking to the rhythm instead of writing actual important things.

"With your hands between your thighs..."

You weren't that loud at first, still trying to concentrate on the mission reports. But it's always been one of your favorite things to do...and since you've been around so many people lately you've been too embarrassed to do it, you haven't been able to...Ah well.

"BUT I CRUMBLE COMPLETELY WHEN YOU CRY!" Paperwork forgotten, you're already spinning around in your chair. Thankfully you were alone; you'd die of embarrassment if anyone caught you like this. "It seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye -"

Huh. You really have missed having your own private mini-concerts. Tension you never knew about in your shoulders melted away as your voice got louder and you were somewhere else in a world of breakups and unrequited loves.

"Always just about to go spoil the surprise, take my hands off of your eyes too soon -" The lyrics are probably wrong, oops. Well, not like anyone's here to correct you. Or see you mime an air guitar.

***

Except Enjin. Enjin's here to watch you make an absolute fool of yourself, but because he's also a (lovestruck) fool he watches you utterly shocked, stunned, startled - but in a good way, he swears!

He's never heard you let loose like this. Never seen you with your head this high up in the clouds. His jaw is dropped open so wide and he hasn't closed it yet, and if you weren't too busy singing you might've told him to shut it before a fly makes its home in there. Eyes so wide they rivalled saucers.

Damn does he like this version of you though; you're so happy, so unaffected by everything. He's almost jealous, do you not trust him enough to let him hear you sing like this? How long have you been hiding this from him? It's not the greatest, no, you've got a few voice cracks and wrong keys here and there, but it's pretty good by anyone's standards. In Enjin's rose-tinted shades though, it's an angel from a Heavenly choir fallen down to earth, a vision of loveliness with a voice to match - holy shit, can you sing some more? If he asks nicely? You almost put Too Lily to shame, almost.

"I'm going back to 505, if it's a seven hour flight or a forty five minute drive - !"

...shame you'll probably kill him if you knew he was eavesdropping on you like this though. Enjin didn't mean to, really, it just kind of happened! He's back early from a mission (he ditched) and only wanted to ask you if you wanted to hit a bar, determined to drag you out there if he has to because he knows once you're knee-deep into paperwork nothing will tear you away from finishing your job. Semiu had said you were alone, but then hearing voices from your room had made him crack the door open in curiosity.

Oho, he's very glad he did.

"In my imagination, you're waitin' lyin' on your side - with your hands between your thighs -" You're even spinning your chair. Aha, you're so cute. Wait, no, no, don't come back down to earth! Damn, are you really going back to paperwork after that absolute jam you just pulled off? "...with a smile."

You'd never admit you like singing to him outright, not in a million years. Enjin feels something akin to a smirk tugging at his mouth and he knows he's going to give it his best to convince you otherwise. Whatever it takes to make you give him another private show like that.

And when you do, know that he'll be your number one hypeman - voice cracks and all.

[qoldenskies]

Thinking about Mind Meld and how Donnie was so confused about being burned by Raph

“Yes! Sick burn, Raph! Wait… you burned me. What’s going on here?”

Just like- being made fun of by Leo? Just another day? By Mikey? Unusual but also classic annoying younger brother behavior. But by his Raphie? Unheard of

If he couldn’t even comprehend Raph making fun of him how could he ever even imagine his big brother outright ignoring his begging and sobbing or hitting the door while yelling at him to shut up. How could he anticipate him chasing him down with the intent to kill

It’s unfathomable, unthinkable, and it happened

CC BRAINS AND BRAWN MY BELOVED AHHHHHHHHH

NGLLLL mind meld is one of my least favorite rise episodes, i really just do not vibe with it, but i do think its a very important one for donnie's character and also its probably the best canonical evidence for everything in caged lungs making sense. like even when he KNEW their minds were altered (by his doing no less lmao) he still reacted with so much dejection like a kicked puppy. i dont go to rewatch it a lot because i dont like it but CL incidentally ended up taking a lot of elements from it i suppose ,,,,, its like kid-friendly CL lmfaooo

anyways cc brains and brawn makes me absolutely deranged like chewing on drywall deranged because of how unexpected everything is for both of them. how both of them see their relationship torn apart by something they were both utterly helpless to, and every moment in cw they spend apart they yearn for each other. its more noticeable in raph's side (chapter 7 especially) because donnie has to intentionally shut out his thoughts of raph because he's a walking trigger, but its pretty apparent in his behavior just how much he always, always wanted raph there.

like they just missed each other so much :(

(ugghh something about this being the first time that donnie in his right mind calls for raphie, and this time raph gets to tell him what he always dreamed of wanting to under the curse-- dreamed about doing in retrospect. he wonders a lot if he could have, had he just had more strength. something about how in CL when he shut him down and hurt him he saw doing this as being strong enough to, and now that the curse is broken he thinks the fact that he hurt him was horribly weak, that he should have fought.)

and for both of them i think its made worse knowing there's something a little self-destructive about it. how raph yearns to be the kind of pseudo father figure he was for donnie before, even though being that kind of person for his brothers was exhausting and stressful and he was actively crumbling under that pressure-- while donnie wants to be useful to raph, he wants to work ceaselessly so raph can be proud of him, even though that was the exact kind of thing that nearly killed him-- the fact that even when raph despised him, was willing to kill him, donnie was willing to grovel anyway because he felt that somehow he could do something to make him proud, to be worth it to him.

both of them have a tendency to look down upon their past, pre-CL selves for being "ignorant", but i also think that they see it as this kind of idyllic, unblemished time of their lives where there wasn't any fear or caution or tension, and they could play these parts without having to worry about anything like this. which isnt true, they argued all the time and their roles were actively harmful to them, but what they have now is painful that they cant help but idealize that more than a little.

it huuurts that even healed there's this unbearable tension to their relationship because its so hard to have fun one on one now :( its just really hard for both of them to try and break that barrier, especially because they're so cautious around each other. they usually need mikey and leo to facilitate. maybe one day they'll just get to fuck around and be dumb together again </3 they deserve it

[capedcaretaker]

A small snippet because apparently my brain is currently fixated on Professor Harkness and Professor Vidal, and because this other fic is taking soo long. They're in a faculty meeting or something, I love the idea of them acting, annoyingly, like a married couple no matter the occasion.

18+ Kink Rio is horny and they're both a mess.

"Hhhh'EHHG'SHIEEEW! EH'GSHHIEWW 'SHIEEWW! HHh...EHH? Hhnng!"

Rio rolls her eyes, "why are you being so dramatic, not everyone within earshot needs to know that A/gatha H/arkness has a cold." She puts emphasis on the last word, despite aiming for disinterested nagging, an attempt to hide the warmth that tightens around her muscles behind a wall of expired patience.

Agatha blows her nose, an unrestrained gurgle of snot that leaves the inside of her handkerchief soaked, while ultimately doing nothing for her sinuses that still leak with the affects of said cold.

"What the hell are you talking about Vidal?" Agatha's nose twitches, she's far from done, it's visibly made a home in her swollen red nose. Just one touch, or a single whisp of air, looks like it could set her off.

Rio contemplates testing that theory, but decides otherwise, settling on a simple shrug, feigning disinterest, "you've been sneezing, like that, all morning, Aggie."

She watches, it's almost in slow motion; Agatha's features crumble. Her lips slowly part, her tongue toying at the roof of her mouth, her eyebrows pinched and eyes squinted. Then there was her nose, it was practically twitching, a small crease set perfectly at the bridge, nostrils flared, the faintest trickle of snot at the rim.

A beautifully crafted portrait of a sickly woman who should be nowhere other than her bed, lest she doom everyone around her; everything about her screamed contagious.

"Hii'EHH! hhEHH...eeEHHH? ..."

Rio clicked her pen, resting her elbow on the table and her chin against the back of her hand, as if she were stuck in anticipation, eyes fixated on the woman next to her, the world around them bleeding into silence.

"Hng'GSHHIIIEW! ehhH'sSHHIIEEEW! HII'SHHEWW!"

Rio clicked her pen again, crossing her legs, "see." She smirks, eyelids lowered, "salud."

"Fuh'g off!" Agatha bites, soaking what little dry spots remained of her poor crumpled handkerchief. She would make use of every inch of it.

Rio would love to do that, not so much fuck off...more so, fuck the cold out of Agatha.

She would love to listen to her heavy congested breathing, listen to the way her nose crackles when she accidently inhales too sharp, listen to every desperate shallow hitch. Feel the spray from her fevered nose, undoubtedly teaming with so much of her cold; one sneeze was more than enough to spread that awful thing to the whole room of faculty. But who dared say anything to Agatha?

"You d-hih-d't have t-uhhH si-hiHh-d here." With each breathy pitch Agatha's nostrils visibly twitch, the wet aching red edges flaring. Her handkerchief sat in a soiled heap in her lap. It wouldn't be of anymore use.

"Please, don't hold them back on my account." Rio does her best to sound innocent, as if she weren't the one coaxing the flames and adding fuel to the fire. "As cute as you look," not just cute, she looked absolutely ravishing, Rio couldn't help the way her tongue ran along her bottom lip, "you really should just let your poor nose sneeze." She cooed.

Agatha wasn't sure why she let out a soft moan, Rio's devilish steady tone pulling it right from her throat, her bottom lip trembled, the itch in her nose made her eyes water, Rio's innocent facade becoming blurry.

Her chest swelled, with a jagged layer of hitching inhales, building atop one another, she would sneeze; not because Rio told her to, but because it would feel better than fighting it.

"iih-H'HGSHhhiiEW! Hii'ngSHHhhHEEW! 'SHhhHIIEWW! HEH'SHHHIII-eeh!"

She crumbled into the space between her and Rio, doing her best to shield her face behind her hands, gods they were so wet, Rio could still feel the spray against her arm.

It fell cool, which told her all she needed to know; she was beyond hot and bothered by the woman next to her: the awful dripping cold and full body sneezes, all of it...as if she didn't already know that. She felt like a volcano waiting to erupt, letting one hand rest casually between her own thighs, perhaps making sure her arousal hadn't soaked through.

"Bless you," This one was delivered with gentle earnestness, "Maybe we should...take you to the bathroom...get you cleaned up?"

[gaoau]

white of blacks

one for the family; two for the show warnings — none. word count — 829

prev.

sometimes it feels like you're lying when you tell Iori you love him, because the way you look at him like he's far more and far worse than a human makes you think this isn't love anymore. it's different; something in his gaze that tells you this is okay, something in your mind that walks the other way, something that, when he talks with that specific tone and his smile fades, has you wanting to tear your eyes out so you don't have to see him be so upset.

he watches you slip out the back door of Club Candy, a champagne bottle in hand despite today not being New Year's night. with a sigh, he follows after you where the buzz in your ears is a little quieter. "that's quite an expensive bottle, y'know?" a small push and a small prod to fan the flames, to poke right at your heart and see if it falls apart this time.

"i know," is all you say.

Iori wishes you would say something more for once. all he can do is wait, make sure you don't fade away, give you a little strength and life without interest.

you hold the bottle tight in your hands, fingers wrapped firmly around its neck. taking in a deep breath, you swing it at the wall like a baseball bat, rain of glass and champagne flying in a whirlwind. Iori realizes quickly what be careful what you wish for means and the tears in your eyes tell him he's bitten off a bit more than he can chew. he'll chew it anyway, because it's you, but he admits it made him recoil.

"i miss them…! i miss them, okay?! i loved them…!" your voice cracks and trembles, sounding more than exhausted as you break. he hates to see you cry so devastated, but at least you're finally admitting it. "i love them, Iori, they're my parents… they're my family…" the same rope that burns is the one that keeps you from crumbling. he thinks maybe you should crumble a little more.

"you know family is what you choose, [Name]."

"i chose them, Iori. i chose them."

you've never seethed like this before. you've never burned so hot. your skin stings when you try to force your tears back into your eyes with your own hands. Iori stands idly, arms open for when you decide to finally crash against him. he trusts you know when to come and go. he trusts your body to act on your own needs.

so you do, alcohol splashing and glass grinding under your shoes as you cling onto his clothes. "i'm so afraid," you admit clearly, a whisper that quivers but doesn't hesitate. family is what you choose.

"of letting 'em go?"

you hum in affirmation. "i can't keep doing this."

"you don't have to." he knows you know. he knows you're listening. "you can try again. you just need a little strength to let go." his fingers run soothingly through your hair, a soft kiss to crown you on this coronation night. you're lucid enough to hear him, to make full sense out of his words.

you can feel your own heart nearly beating out of your chest. your body trembles and your mind is loud. Iori's hands are so steady as he does everything in his power to keep you awake.

your eyes flutter open to the golden sunlight pouring in through the windows. you admit the buzz from the alcohol was somewhat fun and had you feeling so many things at the same time with a vibrancy you know from nothing else.

except you do. when Iori shifts beside you, stealing the covers and your body heat from you, you know that same vibrancy from Iori; from his mind games and from his loud cackles and from raising him up on the highest gilded pedestal you can possibly build to bring him back down with your own hands.

"good mornin'…" he grumbles as he rolls over, lips pressed against your shoulder.

you don't think you're lying when you tell him you love him. it's really not your fault you can't explain your whole truth through words. it's something more, something different; it's kissing him every night and letting him twist your brain; it's worshipping his skin with your hands, his bones with your teeth.

when you don't even have the nerve to reciprocate his kiss, Iori bites your ear. "are ya still sleepy?"

you giggle, rolling your eyes. "yeah, let's sleep in a little." and you move to wrap yourself around him and choose him today again. it's waking up next to your family in your own home where the world is quiet, where it's okay, where you're okay.

[pinkkop]

Week 3!!!! 🎉🎉

If you missed it last week, I made a post about my setup for compiling and formatting this post every week. It's a little nerdy but I'm really proud of it 😊

QL Recap for Week 3

The 13th of January to the 19th of January

Shows are place in the order of how much I'm enjoying them.

🇹🇭 ThamePo Heart That Skips a Beat

Episode 6 of 13 || Watching on: Youtube, Friday

They just keep being the cutest! I love how sweet and young the romance feels with all the things unsaid between them but them still knowing for sure that they're feeling the same. They're so smitten and it's going to be so hard for them to act normal and stay apart in public. This show might just break my heart and heal it all over again in the future and I'm so ready for it!

🇹🇭 The Heart Killers

Episode 8 of 12 || Watching on: Youtube, Wednesday

This stays such a good show and it was so delicious to see Bison and Fadel's walls slowly start to crumble once again. What I'm really enjoying is the characterization of the characters because they're such clear characters and everything they do fits so perfectly to the character which is just really nice to watch. Like how Fadel was more resigned and with higher walls than Bison who might have come across a lot harder on Kant this episode but was also clearly the one who'd forgive the fastest. Just perfect characters played out so well by four great actors!

🇹🇭 Your Sky

Episode 10 of 12 || Watching on: iQiYi, Sunday

This show just keeps being my happy place! Fah and Rak are the cutest boyfriends and the other two couples are slowly inching the same way. The hurt Rak felt every time his parents assumed he would be dating a girl was so evident and painful to watch. I don't want to trust the preview so I'm assuming they're just defaulting to talking as if his future partner is a girl because they just haven't considered the possibility of it being a boy yet but that they will be happy and accepting when they find out Rak is dating the guy. Rak's parents have been so kind and loving so far, so please let the drama hinted at in the preview be about something other than Fah being a guy.

🇹🇭 Petrichor

Episode 8 of 10 || Watching on: iQiYi, Saturday

Tul's struggle with finding out the truth about her brother worked really well and felt real even if I had no doubt she'd come to her senses. Inaction always feels like the easy way out but Tul's sense of justice would not have let her do nothing even though she needed Run to speed up her decision. This show isn't in brain rot territory but I like it a bunch.

🇹🇭 The Boy Next World

Episode 3 of 10 || Watching on: iQiYi, Sunday

This is all so mysterious! I love that this world's Phu and Cir are into each other already even if Phu maybe doesn't realize it yet. What's certain is that there's something odd about Cir and I can't wait to figure out what it is! Is he from a parallel universe as we are let to believe? Or is he a robot??? 👀

🇹🇭 Perfect 10 Liners

Episode 13 of 24 || Watching on: Youtube, Sunday

Santa absolutely killed it this episode!! It was absolutely heartbreaking to see Gun hurt I'm so happy that he has Fai. Fai was really the MVP in this episode for saving Gun and I loved seeing Gun's friends rallying around him. I'm really glad that Yotha isn't giving up on Gun and even if the bed scene, where Gun thought he was dreaming, was very bittersweet, at least Yotha knows that Gun wants him close. Wa deserves better, that's all I have to say on them.

🇨🇳 I'll Turn Back This Time

Episode 2 of 6 || Watching on: Gagaoolala, Saturday

Damn this show is high drama! The rain, lightning and thunder!! It definitely feels over the top but it's not to the point where I hate it. It feels like the show is true to itself and the main actors are doing a great job and the plot is plotting so after this episode I'm fully on board with this show.

🇹🇭 Sangmin Dinneaw

Episode 4 of 8 || Watching on: iQiYi, Sunday

I'm bracing for an unhappy ending after all the hints about Sangmin having an unknown serious illness. This show keeps being the oddest because I really don't like anything with Pony and the third couple but I'm loving Dinneaw and Sangmin and I'm also invested in the second couple even if they on a rare occasion dips into the insanity that is Pony and the third couple.

🇯🇵 Futtara Doshaburi

Episode 2 of 7 || Watching on: Gagaoolala, Friday

I still can't quite figure out where this show is going but I'm intrigued. This week made me understand the male couple a little more but interestingly it just made me more frustrated because our lead agreed to a non-physical relationship with his partner but then keeps pressuring him to have sex with him. Not cool, my dude!! I do worry a little about where the show is going with him and his current relationship because it could end up saying something interesting about ace/aro things but it could also easily say something wrong or damning about the ace/aro character. Only time will tell! I really need to learn these characters' names, sorry!!

🇹🇼 Eternal Butler

Episode 6 of 12 || Watching on: Gagaoolala, Friday

Still not convinced about a robot being a part of a romantic pairing so I simply don't think this one is for me. I am however apparently invested enough in this show that I probably will keep watching it casually.

That's it for this week!!

For links and airing schedule check out World of BL (Only for BLs)

[formerlycookierunauprompts]

We need to reunite Golden Butter Cookie and Shadow Milk Cookie

One of the first things he does once he gets out of the box is look for the small toy box to see if Golden Butter Cookie is still there. It's awkward at first due to so many years of not seeing each other but they're both relieved to just know the other is alive and well.

That or Gingerbrave and Co convince Golden Butter Cookie out of their toy box and end up facing Shadow Milk Cookie once again after so many years and it invokes so much emotion.

Requested Prompts #25 - 💔( a bit of ✙ as well)

Unlike with my previous posts about her, this prompt/ficlet does not take place in the same timeline as my other Golden Butter Cookie posts. This prompt poses the question that: What if Shadow Milk Cookie, after escaping the tree and fucking around for a moment, immediately went to go find the Toy-Box? This, is the resulting outcome.

----

It certainly felt good being free after all those years he spent imprisoned, Shadow Milk Cookie thought to himself. It had been oh so so so long since he had the chance to torment Earthbread like he did in the past, and he couldn't wait to get started! Just thinking about how everything was like before was enough to get him excited. The way entire kingdoms could crumble to dust after a few whispers to spread distrust, how powerful he had been, the horrified looks upon the faces of those who had stood up to the beasts as they watched their fallen comrades be used as mere puppets for his shows... Oh how all of those things had brought him such twisted glee. But wait, he's forgetting something, isn't he? He'd stopped in his tracks, settling upon a thick branch. He'd only shrunken down from his usual titanic size to make it harder for those pesky cookies to track him after all. He thought, and thought, and thought and thought. Goldie. Shit, fuck, he'd almost forgotten about Goldie! When was the last time he visited her? Probably a few days before he'd gotten sealed. His face paled when he remembered just what he'd said to her on that day. He told her 'I love you', just as he was leaving. Oh, oh he was so fucked. He did not mean to do that, leaving his dear starlight in the dark for... shit, how long had it been? Thousands, his mind supplies him with, not doing anything to help the crushing feeling that he fucked up. If any of the other beasts found out that he did this( not purposefully though, at least), then they would probably kill him before Goldie got the chance to. If Goldie was still alive to kill him. Who knows what thousands of years of being left in the dark after that would do to her mental state? Certainly not something pretty! So now, with much more haste than he had earlier, he rushed to change his course towards the location of the entrance to Golden Butter Cookie's Toy-Box.

---

The minute he entered, he realized that everything was in shambles. Not visually though, everything still looked beautiful. What made it have the status of 'shambles' was the residents. Twisted from the last time he'd seen them thousands of years ago when they were... well, more friendly. A lot more friendly. They used to just tackle him to the ground to restrain him! Not OUTRIGHT TRY TO MAIM HIM! God, if the dolls were like this, then who knew what Goldie was like? He stood surrounded by stuffing and strawberry jam, he doesn't want to question why there even was strawberry jam inside the dolls. He'd actually broken a sweat ripping them to shreds, but it'd be fine, right? Goldie could just repair them... right? " You!" He hears a voice, freezing up almost immediately. " What are you doing back here after so many years?" The voice doesn't sound too happy to see him, but it wasn't Goldie, it was too high-pitched. Turning around, he saw another, less fucked up but still kinda fucked up doll, one that looked more like a cookie. He still remembers his silly suggestion of calling them 'pookies'. He wracks his brain for a moment. " ... Rosemary?" He soon asked confusedly, Goldie's first living creation looked pretty different to what he remembered. One of her button eyes were torn out, leaving only one brightly hued golden button for her to see out of. Her arm also looked like it had been stitched back on rather hastily, the craftsmanship of the stitch was nothing like how Goldie would do it. The short plushie marched up to him, almost angrily. " Where the hell have you even been, huh? You left for over thousands of years, did you even think of how your absence would affect Golden Butter Cookie after you left her with what you said?" Rosemary scolded him, poking him with a plush finger. " Look- I didn't mean to! It's not my fault that we got sealed off by the witches before I could come back!" He argued back, watching something flicker across Rosemary's eye. " ... Of course, it all makes sense. You were practically obsessed with her." Rosemary concluded, looking back up into Shadow Milk Cookie's eyes. " But, she won't be happy to see you.. At least, at first." Before Shadow Milk Cookie could question her further, Rosemary turned around. " It's not safe to continue speaking here, more of the Hyper-focused could come and attack at any moment." She stated before leading Shadow Milk off, he quickly followed her. " Hey! Wait up!"

----

" So... Goldie's gone all Sleeping Beauty? Leaving you guys to, well, go nuts?" Shadow Milk Cookie concluded, sitting cross legged upon the seat he'd been given at the campfire at Salvation's Stitch Village, a safe haven for all the dolls that had either gone dormant or didn't succumb to the the Hyper-Focused's craze. " That's basically what happened, but yes." Another Pookie like Rosemary, he's pretty sure this one is called Basil, replied. " And you, are going to fix it. You're practically responsible for why she's like this anyways!" " Okay okay! Geez, I get it! I messed up big time! Just tell me how to get to Goldie and I'l apologize and this whole thing can get cleared up!" He said, holding up his hands defensively. " An Apology won't cut it, you need to grovel at her feet and beg for mercy!" Basil snapped back, being held back by Rosemary. " Basil! Have patience, I'm sure that He'll be sincere with his apology." Rosemary stated, with that seeming to calm them down. " He better," Basil huffed, " Because if he doesn't, then our mistress will surely kill him." Shadow Milk gulped nervously, they were right, Goldie would probably kill him if he fucked up. He had to play this right otherwise he wouldn't be enjoying his freedom for much longer. " of course I will, what, do you think I'm that much of a monster?" He huffed, crossing his arms. He did feel guilty for what he'd done though, it wasn't something he usually felt nowadays and it felt... weird, yet fitting to feel it now. " So how do I get to the dollhouse?" He asked, to which the two others stiffened up. " The Guards are Hyperfocused, aren't they?" he deadpanned. " No... It's just that... Well, Mistress may have let the place fall into ruin. You might want to mentally prepare yourself before going in." " Psh, I've caused atrocities on the daily? how bad could it possibly be?"

----

Damn, he really kinned Icarus back there, didn't he? The moment that he convinced Thyme( the lone, surprisingly non-hyperfocused guard of the Dollhouse) to let him in he could not prepare for what he'd see on the inside. Sure it looked... normal-ish at first. With only a few things out of place here and there, but the further he got in the more he got a glimpse of how far Goldie had gone. Dolls were strewn about, some living, some... let's just say dormant. Ripping them apart felt disgusting when he saw the strawberry jam leaking from their stuffing, sometimes mixed with cookie crumbles stained with the scent of melted butter. He knew that Goldie never allowed anyone in the Toy-Box if she could help it, so then what had she done to herself? And then, he reached the door that Thyme had told him about. Doors almost twice his current shrunken size loomed before him, emitting an aura that almost sucked all the motivation out of him. It was Goldie's, he knew it. So he pushed the doors open, taking in the sight. Light filtered in through small windows, just enough to illuminate the room in a dim glow. Amongst various pillows, flowers(ones that he could recognize were Pink Camellia, White Roses, Bluebells, Yellow Chrysanthemums and forget-me-nots) and various other plants was a glass coffin, one that he want to rush in and open. Yet his legs refused to budge without significant effort. There she was, Golden Butter Cookie, Goldie. Still looking as beautiful as ever even though she had fallen from her former creative grace. her golden hair curled around her body, though it wasn't as light and fluffy as it had been before she fell. he remembered his first reaction to seeing her new appearance, before he himself fell to his own, more twisted corruption, was concern. Actually, he'd pretty sure that that was the last time she saw him before he himself succumbed to his corruption. He staggered over to the coffin, peeling the sugar glass back to free his beloved. Even after thousands of years his feelings had never died. " Goldie... Hey, Goldie..." He began, poking at her face. " C'mon... wake up... I got somethin' to tell you." Probably not the best way he could have gone about it... but it did the trick. Her eyes fluttered open slowly, drifting towards Shadow Milk Cookie who smiled in return. " Heya Sleepy-head, rise and shine!" He chirped, yeah he should probably be more serious... But come on! It's his Goldie, can't he have just a bit of fun before he does his apology? " Shadow... Milk... Cookie...?" She murmured out, taking a moment to register what she was seeing. He could see the surprise dance across her eyes as she seemed to register that it was him. " Shadow Milk Cookie.... you...." " Yep! It's me, I came back!" He chirped in response, closing his eyes and just missing the way her fist tightened.

It wasn't too long until he felt a hard blow to his entire body. " You bastard..!" He could hear Goldie exclaim, her voice taking upon a hint of rage as he flew out of the room and into the hallway. He crashed into one of the walls with a sharp, hacking cough. He could see a few flecks of blueberry jam come out as well, damn, she was still as powerful as ever. He looked up, noticing her floating form a few ways away. A golden aura of wrath shined around her, a bright light emitting from the spears that she was carrying and also had floating around her. " W-wait! Goldie! Calm down, I can explain everything!" He frantically proclaimed, getting up just in time to dodge a spear thrown right at his shoulder. " As if that would excuse what you did to me!" She yelled, eyes blazing as a few more spears auto-locked onto the jester and fired. " You left me questioning everything I knew about us for thousands of years! Not even once did you think about checking in at all!" He dodged yet another barrage of spears, slightly thankful that none of them were aimed at his heart or head... yet. " Look, I'm sorry, okay?! I didn't mean to do that!" He argued, just having time to grab onto a stray spear to use it to deflect the other spears coming at him, with it turning a vibrant blue as he did so. " But I didn't have a choice! The witches-" " Oh spare me your excuses! You said that you loved me and then you outright ditched me!! There's no reason that can excuse that!" he could see the tears brimming in her eyes, they looked like liquid gold. " I waited for you, I waited so long because I wanted to believe that you still cared about me, that you didn't just want a fancy puppet now. And what did I get in return?" He looked at the spears filling the air around her, crap, he'd die for sure if he couldn't deflect or defend himself from these. because there was no way in hell that he could dodge that many spears. " Nothing. You never came back, even to just explain why." She hissed, the barrage increasing in size as her rage built. " I was devastated, I broke myself apart just to try and forget the pain you caused me... But it didn't work, you stayed in my heart like a parasite feasting on my desire for your affection." Oh, that probably explains the jam and cookie parts in some of the dolls in the dollhouse then. " I-" " Don't even try to lie you're way out of this." She scolded as the tears dribbled down her dough. " This, if for all the pain you've caused. I hope it hurts you like you hurt me, tenfold." The spears begin to fly towards him at Goldie's command, so without hesitation he screamed out what he wanted to say, why he didn't come back. Hopefully he wouldn't be a skewer holder afterwards, this time he couldn't bare the thought of a tragic end, especially for himself. " I WAS SEALED AWAY BY THE WITCHES!! THAT'S WHY I NEVER CAME BACK!" His desperate plead was silenced with an almost breathless gasp as the spears stopped mere millimeters away from his dough. He almost collapsed from the intensity as all the spears, except for one aimed at his neck, slowly disappeared into golden dust. Time seemed to stretch on for eternity. He could hear Goldie's shoes tap against the floor as she walked up to him, taking the last remaining spear away from his neck. Desperation can make the truth come out, and she could tell that Shadow Milk wasn't lying this time. She looked so... tired. She collapsed into his arms, tugging at his ruffled collar. " i should have known..." She mumbled, " I should have guessed that you and the others finally went too far..." She sounded so quiet, so done. So he wrapped his arms around her, slowly, as if she'd crumble if he went too fast. " I'm sorry." He apologized, just holding her so she wouldn't disappear.

[starheirxero]

XERO- XERO- HOW COULD YOU/SILLY?! YOUR LORD LUNAR AND SERVANT ECLIPSE POST HAS BEEN HOGGING MY BRAIN FOR THE PAST SIX HOURS!!

THEY ARE ROTATING IN MY BRAIN-

IT IS SO TRAGIC- IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL-

THERE'S SOMETHING SO EERY AND HAUNTING ABOUT IT-

A BROKEN GOD AND THEIR FAITHUL PRIEST. A BURNT OUT SUN AND A WITHERING EARTH, THAT SEEKS ITS LIGHT, DESPITE KNOWING, IT'LL NEVER BURN AGAIN.

THE WORSHIPPER, WHO HAS NOTHING, AND THUS CENTERS THEIR ENTIRE WORLD AROUND IT'S GOD. A GOD WHO LAYS ON A CRUMBLING PIECE OF LAND, UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN WAIT FOR THEIR END, YET STILL TRYING TO SOMEHOW REASSURE AND COMFORT THE ONLY ONE LEFT, THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES.

A BROTHER, A COMPANION, WHO BEGS, AND PLEADS, AND YELLS FOR HIS ONLY FRIEND, HIS ONLY REASON TO BE, TO WAKE UP AND DO SOMETHING. IT DOESN'T MATTER, WHAT. EVEN IF THEY TEASE HIM, AND CAUSE HIM TO RAGE, HE WON'T COMPLAIN, AS LONG AS THEY ARE STILL HERE.

A SHELL OF A PERSON, WHO, IN ANOTHER LIFE, WANTED NOTHING MORE THAN TO HEAR THOSE WORDS LEAVE THE OTHER'S MOUTH. WHO NOW CAN'T EVEN RESPOND, AND ONLY WATCH IN FADING DESPERATION, UNABLE TO CRY AND REACH OUT. UNABLE TO TELL HIM "I'm still here."

HE HAS LEFT THEM IN ANY OTHER WORLD, AND IN THIS ONE, THEY ARE GOING TO BE THE ONE TO LEAVE.

I CAN'T TAKE THIS/POS-

What messes me up even more about it is their relationship in canon.

They are not meant to be. They are always meant to be miles apart. They are always meant to hate one another, to bite and tear and rip each other apart. Their siblinghood, from the moment it was created, was doomed, not meant to last…

And yet.

They are still here, and they are together, and they care and love, and they beg for it to last.

In any other universe, Eclipse is meant to flash his teeth and leave.

In any other universe, Lunar is meant to long for something that can never be, until it becomes a part of them.

And yet, this time, this one time, it's different.

In this one universe, this single, crumbling place, they'll be at each other's side until the end.

This one time, Eclipse will stay, and instead of flashing his teeth, he'll cry and scream and embrace.

In this one universe, Lunar won't long for something unreachable, won't become a reflection of what they so despise. Instead, though they are unable to answer, they will know how much they were cherished and loved.

This one time, the spiteful creator, afraid of affection, worships and prays.

This one time, the creation, haunted by what they could never have, is worshipped and loved by the one they longed for.

This will be the first, and last time. This will be the only universe, where they mean everything to each other, where they are each other's worlds.

Had their situation been any different, they would kill one another. But as they are, they lay silently in the grass, waiting for the end, for one cannot fight, and the other sees no worth in a world without their god, the only person to get past their walls and reach for their hand.

And most tragically, no one will ever know them.

No one will ever know of their world.

No one will ever know, that they are capable of simply loving one another.

"Do you think we're brothers in another universe?"

No, They are not. They won't ever be again.

Their fates are intertwined endlessly, but it will always be twisted and cruel.

They are only brothers this one time. But maybe that's enough.

Maybe they are just happy, it was them.

-Stardust

HAJAHSJAHSJS!!!!!!! HAJAHSJAHSJANSJSHJSNDJS!!!!!!!!!!! YESYYEYSYED AHHHHHHH STARDUST YOU GET ME YOU GET MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

YOU SEE MY VISION YOU UNDERSTAND THE VIBES I WAS GOING FOR YES YES YES!!!!!!

AND AHAHSGSJSBSJSGS DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON EVERYTHING YOU SAID ABOUT HOW THE CONTRAST WITH CANON I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT I'M GUNNA CRY /POS

THEY'RE A TOTAL OPPOSITE OF CANON..... Eclipse at Lunar's feet begging to hear something, anything, from them and Lunar only being able to watch no matter how hard they try...... They are right in each other's arms. There's nowhere else to go but they wouldn't leave if they could. Other Lunar and Eclipse duos could probably not even begin to fathom such a situation.....

GHBPHBBUEHEUUE AND,,, WHEUUEUE,,, AND AOAUGHH TGEYRE ONLY BROTHERS THIS ONCE,,,, BUT MAYBE THATS ENOUGH . MAYBE THEY ATE JUST HAPPY IT WAS THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[amethystina]

If you had to put Yohan and Gaon in a parallel universe, what would it be? Bcs I've been thinking about how would they be in a zombie apocalypse scenario (it's definitely very angst)

I can think of several and my brain tends to let the ideas percolate at the back of my mind whether I want them to or not x'D So, at random, it'll present me with fully formed stories complete with a complex plot and everything that's been slowly pieced together while I wasn't looking.

Admittedly, I haven't thought of a Zombie AU, though, probably because I don't like the doom and gloom of it (she says while having written a 100k Zombie AU for another fandom where one of the main characters is a literal zombie x'D ).

ANYWAY. Here are some ideas that have been living in my brain rent-free for a while:

Soulmate AU:

While everybody believes in soulmates, not everyone is lucky enough to dream of their fated other half. Yo Han does, however. They start during his teenage years, as is customary, and he can't say he's surprised when it's Isaac's familiar face he sees. He's quite relieved, in all honesty, since he'd much rather have a platonic soulmate than a romantic one. It's less messy that way.

Fate proves him wrong the day Isaac dies in that godforsaken fire and Yo Han devotes the rest of his life to avenging his soulmate's death. That seems to be the only way to fill the void inside of him.

But then, just as Yo Han is getting ready to set his ten-year plan in motion, everything gets thrown on its head.

He meets Kim Ga On.

Suddenly, Yo Han isn't sure who he's seeing in his dreams. Is it Isaac or this young, idealistic judge — who Yo Han soon realises has been sent to spy on him? And, even if it is Kim Ga On he's dreaming about, does that truly change anything? Everything has already been set in motion and, soulmate or not, Yo Han wants revenge for what happened to his brother.

And what's to say that Kim Ga On — so brilliant and righteous — would even want Yo Han as his soulmate? His despise for Yo Han is evident so, clearly, fate must have made a mistake this time.

Someone that pure could never love a monster like him.

(Ga On dreams, too, and they're always the same. He never sees his soulmate's face, only roaring flames and a crumbling building. Ga On assumes that means his soulmate is dead. Why else would he find himself trapped inside that burning inferno every time he dreams? Surely he would have seen something else by then if the person was still alive?

Not once does it cross his mind that, maybe, his soulmate just needs to find a reason to start living again...)

___

Black Knight AU:

Joining a group of rebel refugees wasn't so much a choice for Ga On as a necessity. He hates to see the suffering around him, people dying from lack of oxygen and food, their numbers dwindling by the day.

Ga On wants a better future for all of them and he'll fight tooth and nail to get it — even if that means tearing down the old world order and demanding a new one.

Fortunately for the rebels, they have someone on the inside helping them. Ga On has never met this person — known only as the Benefactor — but it's clear that he must be from the core district. Only someone at the very top would have the kind of power and influence that the Benefactor does, providing the rebels with information and supplies through the network of deliverymen and military personnel at his disposal. Ga On doesn't know why someone at the core district would want to bring down the very system that keeps him rich, but Ga On will take whatever help he can get.

And then — as if Ga On doesn't already have enough to deal with — things get complicated the day the rebels intercept what they think is a supply delivery but turns out to be a travel convoy. And the man at its centre is clearly from the core district judging by his pristine suit and flawless appearance. Usually, that would make him a valuable hostage, but there's something different about this man.

Not only does he not seem the least bit afraid to find himself in the midst of a group of armed refugee rebels, but he also fixates on Ga On in a way that's downright unsettling. Ga On doesn't understand why.

Nor does he understand why he keeps feeling an inexplicable and wholly inappropriate pull towards the man. Ga On knows absolutely nothing about him aside from the fact that he's clearly very rich, unnervingly intelligent and, as it soon turns out, incredibly dangerous. How can Ga On be attracted to someone so ruthless and selfish?

The only core district dweller Ga On feels even the slightest bit of respect for is the Benefactor and this Kang Yo Han is the polar opposite. Ga On shouldn't feel drawn to him.

And yet, against better knowledge, he does.

And it feels more like a question of when he'll succumb, rather than if.

(This story has everything! Rebels! Eating of the rich! Delicious identity porn! Explosions! Elijah calling Ga On literal trash that Yo Han dragged in from the gutter!

... it would probably also be pretty long so let's hope I don't succumb to the urge to write it)

___

Historical Vampire AU:

After Ga On's parents die, he fully expects to end up on the streets and starve to death. Fortunately for him, a local scholar takes him on as an apprentice instead, teaching him how to read and write.

He feels incredibly indebted to Scholar Min and so, many years later, when Ga On is asked to accept a position as assistant to a rich but mysterious lord just outside the city, he of course does so. The position is a mere cover, however. In actuality, Ga On will be spying on Kang Yo Han in hopes of finding out if he's secretly supporting the uprising that's brewing in their region.

More than once, Scholar Min tells Ga On that he must be careful — that the mission is incredibly dangerous. But it's not until he actually arrives at Lord Kang's estate that Ga On understands why Scholar Min kept repeating all those dire warnings.

Not only is Kang Yo Han aloof and deeply unsettling — his gaze filled with something that could only be described as hunger whenever he looks at Ga On — but he doesn't seem to eat, rarely sleeps, and never ventures outside during the day. Only once darkness falls does he leave the estate and, sometimes, he doesn't return until just before dawn.

Before long, Ga On begins to wonder if Kang Yo Han isn't just involved in the uprising, but might also be the cause for the dead bodies that have been found strewn around the city the past couple of months.

And, somehow, Ga On has to find proof to support his theory — preferably without becoming a target himself.

(A.k.a. if you thought Ga On's neck kink in Who Holds the Devil was bad? Think again, bitches)

___

Aside from these, there are also the two parallel universe stories I have already started: Gravitational Pull which is basically meant to be a series of one-shots that divert from the original canon by changing one small detail in each installment. And then The Devil's Due which is a Different First Meeting AU where they meet when Ga On is still a teenager and that throws everything out of order (because Yo Han accidentally kickstarts Ga On's gay awakening a lot sooner than usual and, after that, all bets are off)

So yeah. I could probably think of several more but let's stop here for now xD

(And don't ask me why I chose to write these ideas as if they're fanfic summaries because they definitely aren't fanfics yet)

[kenxmatsui]

Night deepened with a hush and Ken entwined in silence couldn't bring himself to speak, not in worry that he would say the wrong thing, but so to not break this tranquillity that wrapped them in a gentle embrace. Heart, however, picked up a fight with his brain to allow for this to be registered, to let her words, her touch, soothe and comfort him, because this could be deserved, he could be worthy for her love, of her time. It pleaded so ardently to not brush off or deny this, and his mind, in all its chaos and calculation, but one that already had been enamoured by her completely, couldn't reject or send speech signals to tell Leyla to stop. Walls he had built and reinforced time after time had been brought down so easily by her years ago crumbled further and further still as she spoke. Time stretched around feather-light kisses as Ken lay within this feeling, sinking into the sweet and tender reminders of a love that would not falter, that would not leave or break, not now or ever.

Senses blinked to a return almost hesitantly preferring to continue looking at her completely smitten, but voice eventually found him, "It's not just the language or how many times you say it, what you say, the words themselves have an impact. How could they not? Life, soul, breath, these aren't just anything. It might be ordinary to you, causal given that you said it was the nature of the language but they're not simple to me. Hearing these terms of endearment… I haven't —" he shook his head, words tripping on his tongue as he tried to reiterate the enormity of this feeling, "— I haven't been loved like this. I don't know what to do. Is it enough to just say I love you back? Japanese isn't as expressive nor am I."

A slow smile unfurled as she recorded her message, "See, there you go proving my point. How can you think these are just simple things or view them as casual when it's everything but." He pulled her into a kiss, "Thank you. It still means a lot." Reaching for his own phone on the bedside table, Ken followed suit and recorded his own message. "watashi wa kokorokara anata o aishiteimasu. I love you with all my heart, Leyla. eien ni itsu de mo. Forever and always." Putting the phone aside, arms looped around her, "I won't ever be too far away but until I can come back to you, you'll have that with you. Or you know, play it if I ever dare to upset you again and you need a reminder that I can be less stupid," he said with a laugh. Holding her close, he shook his head, "I won't let the anyone or anything take you, but no, it's not bad to say that at all."

Shoulders bounced in a half-hearted shrug, "Yeah, he was drunk beyond comprehension and I figured you would've liked it if he wasn't left passed out somewhere." That alternate, in hindsight, was something he would've preferred greatly. "I don't know if my siblings would ever make their way here. You and Rohan are the only family I have." Before thoughts headed out a melancholic path, her expression and flushed cheeks drew him out of his head as a grin took shape. "I'm all yours, babe," he said, "It's not selfish in the least. You're mine too. Tell your friends I don't give a fuck if they feel like I'm monopolising your time or whatever," he added kissing her neck, "I'm not sharing either." A surprised laugh rang out as he fell back staring up at his adorable annoyed pixie that shoved him down, "You're really cute when you get like this." It was a deflection but felt better than repeating the fact that yes, he does ruin things. "Don't worry about that, okay?"

He waited until she finished speaking to explain what he meant, "Not really, no. There are parts of me I don't like talking about or acknowledging at all but that's not because of you. Leyla, you know me more than anyone, even more than my own family. Maybe there had been a point in the beginning where I felt like you would leave once you knew me, but now? You loved and accepted parts of me before I even could do that for myself. So, no, there's no walking around on eggshells. If it seems like I'm careful with my behaviour or what I say it's likely down to just me thinking but nothing more." He pulled her closer and placed a soft kiss, "There is no reality where I would ever grow bored or tired of you. You're more home than any walls or roof could ever mean, please stop thinking you're at fault or think that you don't mean the world to me. I'm sorry I can't express that as you'd want me to or in a way that would get you to believe it but it's the truth. You just existing is enough for me, I don't need anything else. I love everything about you just as you are. You don't need to change or get soft for me." Though he said that, if that were to be a reflection for himself, then, there would be no chance of him not becoming softer for her. For him, it was needed. Compulsory in ever since of the word, his edges were far too sharp for to not do so and were he to ever hurt her in any capacity he would never forgive himself.

"No, I could never be this without you. That's the truth. It's different for you I think because kindness and care has always existed within you but there was no potential in me. If there was it was unknown and barred from my own understanding and visibility. I grew up with an abundance of absence, Leyla, sky high expectations and disappointment. What I know of love, of acceptance, and friendship I learnt it from you and Rohan, they weren't inherent." He had to unlearn, observe and readjust a lot things from how what they had been taught goring up which didn't come easy. "Even after dying and turning into this didn't bring forth any good. I just grew more cynical and hateful towards the world. But it took you and Rohan coming into my life for me to realise that I needed to be better and do better. You taught me what true love looks and feels like and I adjusted to fit it so I could make myself feel deserving and worthy of your time. It's not a bad thing, at least I don't see it as such." Change was required to keep people in his life, ones that actually gave a shit if he lived or died, "If I didn't change I would've ended up pushing you away one way or another like I always do. We wouldn't be here and that's not something I want to think about."

Catching her mumbles he looked to her with a faint shake of his head, "That's because no one gave a fuck about me. No one to looked out for me," he admitted quietly and shrugged it off since it no longer mattered, "But sure, if you still think it's double standards and unfair despite it all, you can do whatever you wish. You don't need me to say so." The prolonged pout drew forth a small smile from him before disappearing as he shook his head, "No. Tolerances aside, getting high means losing control of self and surroundings to some extent I can't have that happen."

"Good," Her face couldn't help, but lit up at the thought. The softest and most tender of smiles broke across her lips as she cut him off with a sweet and drawn out kiss. "Because I mean when I say you're like the other half of me," She assured him, only for her eyes to widen as he said that he didn't know love could be voiced so easily. "Wha- What do you mean? I tell you I love you all the time," She reasoned. "Because I do. Always and life's too short for you not to hear it, even if we technically have forever. But, most Turkish forms of endearment are like that," She nipped down lightly on her bottom lip, ignoring the way her cheeks still managed to flush a rosy shade of pink after all this time as she leaned in and pressed a kiss this time against his cheek. "Aşkım. My love," She whispered softly out, before pressing another kiss against the edge of his jaw and another along the nap of his neck. One kiss per each term of endearment that roll softly along the tip of her tongue. "Tatlım. My sweet. canım. My life or my soul. Same with hayatım. gözlerim. My eyes. Nefesim. My breath. And ikizim, my soulmate. I can keep going if you'd like? Like I said, it's a fairly romantic language."

Only as he gave her a slow nod, did she sit a little back in his lap. Her bottom lip jutted out into a pout as she pondered over his question before she moved to fish out her own phone from her back pocket. Pulling out text, she hit the record button and recorded a voice message, "Seni seviyorum, canım. I love you, Kenji Matsui. Always and forever," before she hit send. "There. Now, no matter what, you can always hear me say it. Even if it's just you in your office stuck at work waiting until you can get off to see me, which I know isn't exactly the same thing, but," She let out a soft sigh as she moved to lace her arms around his neck. "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I still have to make it down the aisle and nothing in this world is going to stop me from that. I promise. But, god forbid, a thousand years from now, if my time eventually does come, I don't think I could think of a better last words to have than I love you. Is that... is that bad to say?"

"You make me happy too. Always have. Well, always since the moment you decided not to take me to jail," She corrected herself. The honestly flowing out of her as she beamed up at him. Only as he went on to explain himself, her smile fell. "But, if it's not with intent, then are you not actively acting a different way around me so that you don't upset me? Because," She let out a small gulp at the thought. "I'd really hate it if- if you felt like you had to tiptoe around me to appease me or s-something. I wouldn't want that. I'd never want that. I just- I want you to feel comfortable being yourself around me? I want us to be each other's homes, I guess? And if you don't feel that way-" Her breath hitched in her throat at the thought.

"I don't think you're going to leave me," She shook her head, cutting him off as he said it was why he had to change again. "I just want to be the kind of fiancé and wife that you deserve and who deserves you? But, I don't think you're going to leave. I think you're my family and that we're going to spend the rest of our lives together. Hence the whole ring and the soon to be I dos."

"You asked to give Dev a ride home for me?" She blinked over at him. Her brows scrunching slightly as the momentary surprise set in. "Oh, I didn't know. That means the world to me, truly. I know Devrim and I are slowly getting to know each other more and more, but I would like for one day, our whole little found family to get along. Ro and your siblings included in that too. But, I," She bite down on her bottom lip once more. Her eyes squeezing momentarily shut as her face flushed in embarrassment as she found herself admitting, "I also kinda like keeping you to myself too? Which might be selfish of me to admit, but you're mine and I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't need to share you?" She innocently peaked one eye open and then the next. "Oh. No. Not anymore. I just was confused. But, like I said, as long as you're holding my hand, I won't be confused anymore. Promise," She assured him. Only as he told her that he ruined things, her brows knitted once more. A flicker of annoyance crossed her gaze as she gave his chest a sharp shove, moving to pin him down on top of the bed so that she look him dead in the eyes as she told him, "You don't ruin things! I was only worried that I hurt you too in some capacity. That's all."

"But-" Her bottom lip jutted out into a more pronounced pout, as she collapsed into his arms. "I do, but that's not the same-" She started to say, only for her to sink further into her pout as she let him carry on."Can I ask you something?" She finally spoke up again after a prolonged beat. Her own arms looped around his waist as she propped her chin up against his chest so that she could meet his gaze once more.

"Do you feel like you have to repress a part of yourself to be around me? And I don't mean acting different around me compared to others. I mean do you feel like there are parts of who you are and your past that you can't share with me because I wouldn't accept it or love you for it? Do you feel like you can't react the way you naturally would in the moment for fear of upsetting me? Or like you have to tip toe on eggshells around me? Because if so, then I'd be really terribly sorry and think that we'd have a bit of problem we'd need to work through. But, if what you mean is that being around me makes you want to be better than that I get, because I always want to be better for you too. There is a reason I don't really partake in illegal activities anymore and I mean since knowing you've I've become, well, softer, I suppose?" As if the edge she had to her had waned. "But, that's because you're the first person I've been with whose actively stayed. You never got bored or tired of me. Instead, you've seemed to love all the worst parts of me and you make me feel really safe. So, I know you say that the person you were didn't cut it, but I guess the way I see it is that the person who you were always had the propensity to be who you are now. You were always capable of it, just like how I've always been capable of being the person I am now. It's always been a part of you or who you could be and, since that day in your apartment, I've always cared about who you are. I don't know if you intended for me to, but I did, because you saw me. You saw what no one else every paid enough attention to notice and in turn I saw you and all of your endless potential that came with you. And I'll continue to love whatever version of you comes next too."

"No, but I think that someone didn't snatch that cigarette away from your hand when you were attempting to," She mumbled quietly under her breath. "I saw the care and concern. I just think it's somewhat unfair that everyone else gets to live by a double standard is all, even if you'd heal from it after the fact," She pouted once more. "But- I can't help the pout. It just happens. See," She pointed up toward her wide eyed face. "Mmmm," She groaned against his chest before she peaked her head up toward him once more. "What about getting high then? Would you get high with me? Weed doesn't have the long term health risks that cigarettes do," She reasoned. The mischievous glint finding its way back to her gaze as she fluttered her lashes up toward him.

[tojigasm]

What Is and What Should Never Be

Authors note: Here is the long waited Sam Worthington fic <33. im very proud of this one, so enjoy my sexy hotties ♡

Warnings: nsfw 18+, minors dni, fem reader, fluff, a smidge of angst, Sam is very dilf daddy in this, pet names, gentle love

Synopsis:

"Y/n?" Sam's looking at you. Baby blues worn with worry and brows furrowed. He strokes his thumbs over your jaw, gently prying your lip from your teeth, "where'd you go, sweetheart?"

You search his eyes for a moment. Deciding whether or not to tell him the truth. To tell him you'd done specifically what he'd asked you not to do. Tell him you'd spent hours only earlier that day scrolling through comments and articles, searching for the worst one just to have it wrap around your brain for the rest of your life. Tell him you'd needed something to balance the ache.

You sift your hand through the thick tufts of roan, sighing into the cool air of your room.

"Know you're the only girl fr'me, right, hon?" Sam whispers from beneath you. You run your fingers along the bristles of his beard.

"Yes, I know." You whisper back, letting him kiss up the skin of your collar.

Can't help but think back to the articles you'd read earlier that day, 'Avatar star, Sam Worthington in LA with young nobody', 'who is she?', 'Is this start of Worthington's stardom decline?'

The words ring out in your mind as Sam presses kisses to your jaw, planting his chin to your chest when he realizes you're not quite all there anymore.

Your mind wanders to the comments you can recall, "surely they're just friends, he wouldn't date someone out of his league." "She doesn't deserve him like I do." "Praying they break up." "She's not as pretty as I had expect–"

"Y/n?"

Sam's looking up at you. You hadn't realized you'd dug your nails into the thick of his shoulder so tightly small crescents lay in the wake of your hand.

"Sorry," you whisper, "I don't know what's up with me."

He doesn't say anything for a moment. Mulling over his words before he settles on a gentle, "Everything okay, sweetheart?"

You shrug, letting yourself fall into his lap rather clumsily. "Guess m'just not in the mood," you pull your bottom lip between your teeth, pressing and tearing at the plush of it. "M'sorry."

"S'okay, baby," Sam rests his hand at the base of your neck, thumbing at your skin gently.

The pull and push of his hand on your neck sends a soothing warmth throughout your body, and you're suddenly reminded of the knavish comments once again. The words bleed and rot into your mind like a dead weed, infecting and throbbing and piercing your mind like a dying root and it—

"Y/n?" Sam's looking at you. Baby blues worn with worry and brows furrowed. He strokes his thumbs over your jaw, gently prying your lip from your teeth, "where'd you go, sweetheart?"

You search his eyes for a moment. Deciding whether or not to tell him the truth. To tell him you'd done specifically what he'd asked you not to do. Tell him you'd spent hours only earlier that day scrolling through comments and articles, searching for the worst one just to have it wrap around your brain for the rest of your life. Tell him you'd needed something to balance the ache.

"I–" the confession slips past your lips in a defeated sigh. The thick of it choking at the back of your throat with a sickly tease.

You tell him the truth, and he listens, nodding along to your broken and shattered words. And when your voice cracks and turns wet and you crumble in his arms, he holds you.

There's a long pause of silence, comforted by a rough hand soothing the top of your head and shoulders. You bite at your finger pad until it burns.

"Feel like they can hear me. Like they can see everything I do." You whisper, "I feel so alone."

You'd remembered what your parents, your friends had told you when you'd first told them you were dating Sam. The mixed reactions weigh heavy in your mind some nights.

"He's famous, y/n. You know how it is." "Just don't let the fame go to your head." "Well, it's not gonna be easy."

Sam running the back of his knuckles over your cheek softly brings you back to your room. Your room with your pink sheets and your movie posters. Your room with your flower vase full of lily's Sam had bought you and your vanity with white wood that's been chipping away.

"I don't wanna feel this way anymore." You speak into the cool air.

"I know, honey." Sam whispers, massaging his hand into your hip.

"Make me feel better," you whisper, "Please, just make me forget."

Sam stops his hand and doesn't say anything.

You let a few moments pass before sitting up, looking at him from over your shoulder. Your lashes are strung together with tears, and your cheeks are hot.

Sam watches you, carefully lifting his hand to run the pad of his thumb over the swell of your bottom lip.

"Can I kiss you?" He speaks softly.

"Please," you choke, crawling into his lap.

His hands wrap around your waist, squeezing at the plush of your ass and hips. He kisses up the bow of your chest, biting and nipping small marks into your soft skin.

"Sam." Chills rush over your skin.

"Yeah?"

"I want you to fuck me," you drop your head to the side, letting Sam kiss up the collum of your neck, "wanna forget everything n'just feel you. I don't want to think." You pull back to kiss him, "think for me."

You trail down the skin of his neck to his shoulder, biting at his freckled skin and leaving flushes of pink in your wake.

Sam adjusts beneath you, slipping his hand between your thighs to flick your clit before sliding two fingers into your tight cunt.

Your breath hitches at the stretch, and you let your head roll back, sighing into the chilled air. You find purchase in his shoulders, digging your freshly manicured nails into his skin, tracing the pads of your fingers over the indents from your teeth.

"What do you like about me?" Your voice wavers – somewhere in between lost and held. You can't calm down, yet you find solace in the violence rapt of his fingers curling against your gummy walls.

Sam groans into the soft of your breast, licking a stripe along chest to your collar.

"I like your eyes," he kisses your nipple, pulling it between his teeth gently, "I like your lips," he kisses your ribs, "I like your hair," his thumb circles your clit, "I like your voice–"

"Need you," you whimper, voice so soft he thinks it might crack and shatter in the frigid air of the room.

Sam nods, letting you straddle him as he sits on the foot of your bed. He guides you to take him in full, sinking onto his length as he holds you to him.

The stretch aches and you tip your head back at the pleasure, nearly slipping from Sam's grasp before he pulls you back. He cups your head to his shoulder, helping to guide your hips back and forth along his thick thighs.

"Feel so good," he whispers, planting sloppy kisses along the ridge of your shoulder.

You pant through wavered breaths into his neck, working to soothe at the bruising tip of his cock that presses at your cervix.

"You feel okay, sweetheart?" Sam pulls you back by the neck, forcing you to meet his eyes. The baby blues seeped into a much richer navy, pupils blown wide.

"Yes," you nod through a watery choke and he moves to tuck you into his shoulder again, "S'okay."

Sam nods, cupping your wrists in one hand to hold behind your back as he massages his grip on your waist. His fingers dig into the plush of your hips, leaving tender heat in their leave.

"Tell me what you need," he kisses the length of your jaw when you tip your head back again.

Shaking your head, you roll your hips upward to bask in the stretch of his veiny girth. You can feel him run along your walls in such a way that sends your lashes fluttering.

"Wanna cum," your voice is flat.

"Don't be a brat." Sam's tone deepens. He knows what you need, whether you'll tell him or not. Knows you need to be told what to do. Knows in the way you cower away at the thought, the thought of – "m'gonna let you try again."

You peak an eye open, looking him up and down before letting your eyes fall shut again.

"Wanna be told what to do forever," You admit, "I don't wanna think – don't want to think about the stupid articles and comments and things they – ah! – things they say."

"Then let me do the work." Sam nods to you, brows cinching before you're falling into his arms again, letting him rub gentle kissing touches into your sticky clit.

Your eyes roll at the pleasure, deliciously paired with the thrusting stretch of his length.

"Yeah, that's it." Sam coos, thighs flexing under you, "you're such a good girl, y'know that?" He kisses your jaw. You tighten around him, and he chuckles loosely, pressing his cheek into your own, "y'like that? Like being my good girl?"

You nod, "Yes, yes!" Your voice tapers into a hushed whimper.

"Y'gonna cum? Can feel you gettin' tight."

You nod again, biting into his shoulder with a cry when your release washes over you. Walls spasming around his cock.

When he cums, he twitches under you. Soft jolts that shake you alert to pull yourself off of him.

Sam falls to the bed beside you, the two of you panting into the cool air of your room.

"I love you." Sam calls to you, and you nod warmly. His knuckles trace over your cheek as he watches your eyes flutter shut. The fan sifts gently and clicks in the quiet. A car passes by.

You don't remember the sound of your own voice.

[queenofbaws]

Is this a prompt or is this just me blabbing nonsense words as I spew vast amounts of word vomit into your inbox? Who knows! All I know is that I've apparently decided that I needed to share this with someone, and that (un)lucky someone is you lol.

Anyways, for some reason I can't stop thinking about trash trio sleepovers. But not the events that take place during the sleepovers, just that little bit when they've all gotten into bed at the end of a busy night and are actually trying to go to sleep.

Specifically, those all too rare nights when Josh is actually the first to fall asleep, leaving Chris and Ashley as the two still awake. And I just feel like on those nights, they spend a frankly insane amount of hours forcing themselves to stay awake as they just talk. Bundled up under borrowed blankets and thankful for the darkness of whatever bedroom or livingroom they've crashed in for the night hiding tired yet utterly besotted smiles and completely enamored faces as they do their best to stay quiet so they don't wake anyone up, even as they can't stop giggling and laughing every couple of minutes. Just, like, taking about everything and nothing as they both selfishly not allow the other to go to bed, not wanting to put a stop to these oh so rare moments when it's quiet and soft and private. It's just *them*.

So they can't help but stay up way too late, until the point hits where they're both so overtired that their once carefully constructed and guarded filter starts to crumble and one or both of them is like seconds away from blurting out 'so I think I'm maybe in love with you.'

I've also decided that this is probably the closest that either of them get to actually saying anything about it, and yet it happens more often than either would like lmao. Like they probably get out the first couple of words before their brain finally catches up to their mouth and then they're making flustered and mortified excuses/realizations about how it's like 5 in the morning or something so they should definitely absolutely go to bed as they roll over and end whatever conversation they were having abruptly and seemingly out of nowhere lol.

And yet, when they get up grouchy and grumpy in the morning, you know that neither of them regret even a single hour of it 💖

(i am very sorry about this word vomit you are about to wake up to lol. Haven't been able to stop thinking of this for weeks cause I love how warm and gushy it makes me feel fhdkskdhdkshd)

There were a lot of downsides to Josh being a heavy sleeper - and 'a lot' meant a lot, the list running the gamut from the relatively harmless (e.g., having to find a way to wrestle your arm out from under his dead weight if you made the mistake of falling asleep in his general vicinity) to the downright torturous (e.g., the snoring) - but as the prince of horror taketh, so too did he giveth, at least in a sense.

Him being able to sleep through a mass extinction event meant they only had to pretend to whisper.

"It's really not all it's cracked up to be, y'know," Chris said, was saying, had been saying, the conversation about college life having long-since turned into something else by virtue of how many times they'd circled around it, turning it over and over again like a craggled rock thrown into a polisher until it became smooth, "I mean, don't get me wrong...there's a certain kind of beauty to just having to swipe your ID at the dining halls and not having anyone raise an eyebrow when you say, like, 'Why yes I do think I'll be having another burrito for breakfast, my good sir,' but...eh, sometimes I wish I was still here."

In the half-light of the basement, only the ambient glow of entertainment center lights there to cast a bluish cast about the place, he couldn't see Ashley so much as imagine her there, a faint rustle from the couch suggesting she'd rolled over or tugged her blanket up. "Awww," she teased, "sounds like someone's homesick, huh?"

That was one word for it, he guessed, though it wasn't quite the right one; neither was it the wrong one, it just...it was too vague, too open, too, too, too nonspecific, because 'homesick' meant you were missing home, but did it mean the same thing when the home you were missing was a person and not a place?

"Or maybe I just don't know how to function when you're not around to roll your eyes at me, you ever think of that?" he asked, and he smiled when she laughed, Chris did (because that, in a way, was its own sort of home, and another one he'd been sick for, if he was being honest), but he wished he could find courage enough in that darkness to admit aloud to her that he hadn't been joking at all - not even a little bit.

six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!

[angrythingstarlight]

So I've been thinking about TFATWS Bucky a lot, along with one of my favorite movies 10 Things I Hate About You, with Heath Ledger. If you haven't seen it, it's on Disney + if you want, but otherwise

There is a scene where the girl gets drunk and tries to kiss the guy. But he doesn't let her, tells her we should do this another time. She is upset at for awhile after this. But like I understand both sides, girl being vulnerable then being shut down. But it's because she's vulnerable he doesn't want to, to protect her.

I just can't get this thot outta my head with that Bucky and a girl he's crushed on does this. But he's just as bad at communicating so they fight and ignore each other. Then she's drunk another time, and he's there, would he crumble and give into her, now knowing she will remember. Or would he just take care of her again, but making them spend the night at his apartment, in hopes he can try to voice what he wants in the morning.

-🐛

Finally a movie I've seen😂 I know yall would have judged me if I hadn't seen this one.

I love this situation and I may do a true drabble about it someday.

Bucky was devastated after the fight. He's dreamed about kissing you. Maybe he thought about it a little too much, he had worked out so many different scenarios, reenacting them in his head. He wanted to kiss you more than anything but he definitely didn't want the first time to be when you were plastered.

You were saying all the things he wanted to hear. You liked him. You want him. You want to be with him. Those words were like a balm soothing his soul and awakening parts of him he thought had died years ago.

But it wasn't really you saying this. It was several shots of tequila, and who knows what else you drank before he found you, speaking for you.

So when you looped your arms around his neck and gave him a pretty smile, drunkenly declaring that you were going to be his girl, he had to tamp down the part of him that wanted to kiss you senseless and make you say it over and over again. Because he wants you to be his girl, he wants to be your man.

But Buckys, not that guy. He refuses to be the asshole who takes advantage of someone when they're vulnerable. He couldn't let you kiss him when you couldn't even walk straight.

It hurt him to see your face drop and your eyes dim as the rejection settled in your tequila-addled brain. He doesn't know how it turned into a fight, he wasn't trying to hurt you. For some reason, he couldn't get the words to come out right. Everything he said made it worse, he could see the second everything went left, the hurt on your face sliding off and anger taking its place.

It was an out-of-body experience, his mouth was moving faster than his brain. Things being said that neither one of you meant. He found himself throwing up his shields again, a wall forming around his heart. A defensive mechanism of his that only fueled your drunken retorts until you both fell silent. Hurt thickening the air until he couldn't breathe.

That was a week ago.

Seven days without you. Just his thoughts as he replays that night over and over. Damn it, why didn't he just say that he liked you? Bucky hates to admit it but it's because he's afraid that when you sobered up you'll laugh it off. If he declared his love for you and you really didn't feel the same....his heart would shatter into a million little pieces. It would be a hurt time could never heal.

So seven days without you. Until Saturday night rolls around and he gets a call from you. His heart stutters in his chest, full-on twists inside his ribcage as he stares down at your number flashing across his screen. He hits accept before the second ring. Your drunken voice blaring through his phone. "Bucky," you drunkenly sing over the sounds of the nightclub in the background. "'M mad at youuuu." There's a pause. "Come and get me, okay?"

He smiles for the first time in days, putting on his jacket as you continue to tell him how angry you are. By the time he finds you, you're dancing by yourself, still telling off him, his heart soaring with every "insult" from your beautiful mouth. "And another thing, I don't like your face Bucky, it's too pretty and your lips-."

Bucky picks you up, laughing at your surprised "hey", your bleary eyes brightening as you snuggle into his chest. "You smell good, wanna rub you all over my body, your body on my body, my body all over your body," you croon off-key in his ear.

Bucky manages to get you inside his apartment in one piece. He almost lost you when you tried to wiggle out of his arms to pet a puppy you spotted across the road. That earned him a glare and pout when he wouldn't let you run into traffic. Only the promise of tacos kept you from fighting him.

Now he's tucking you into bed, gently wiping off your makeup, and leaving a glass of water and motrin on the nightstand. He sits on the floor, his head resting against the end of the bed, your sleeping face above him. The sounds of your light snores echoing in the room as he drifts off.

In the morning, he's going to lay it all out there. The fact that he loves you even when you're being the most stubborn person on the planet (even more than Steve and Sam combined), he loves you when you're a drunken mess and when you're in your fanciest outfits. He loves your smile, the way your eyes light up when you see a cute animal, and the way you fiercely defend the ones you love.

And maybe for once in his life, he'll be lucky enough to hear you say that you love him back.

He doesn't get a chance to say anything because he awakens to you standing over him. "James Buchanan Barnes, I'm only going to tell you one more time and then I'm through." He blinks owlishly up at you. "I love you and either-"

Bucky reaches up and pulls you on hisap, furiously kissing you, mumbling that he loves you against your lips until the words are seared in your skin.

[s1utspeare]

hohoHOOOOO whump time!!! if you’re feeling it I’m thinking “Walk then. Come on, walk towards me. I bet you can't even take a step” with pangsang (platonic romantic whatever dealer’s choice) bc they’re both so bitchy I can see either of them saying it lmao <33333

DINO YOU ARE!!! MY SOULMATE that's EXACTLY who i was thinking of for this prompt adhsligajldfkjsad. Anyway. This turned out a little sillier than expected, but enjoy the Them!!

Send me a prompt and some characters and I’ll write some whump!

"Walk then. Come on, walk towards me. I bet you can't even take a step."

So. They've been in worse situations before, although it's taking Pangzi a lot to think of any. It's taking him a lot to think of anything right now, that's how out of it he feels. He hates weird tomb dust. There's so much weird dust in tombs and usually it isn't even dust, it's like. Blood or dead tiny bugs or fucking poison or something, and then it gets in your eyes or on your skin and Xiao-ge has to make out with Tianzhen about it—no. No that's just normal activity. The tomb dust has nothing to do with that. Pangzi wonders if Xiao-ge will make out with him.

He won't, though, and Pangzi knows this because they're currently in a Tomb-Dust-Situation, and no one is making out with anyone. At least as far as he can tell. Tianzhen and Xiao-ge aren't in his direct line of sight anymore, so they could be making out somewhere where Pangzi can't see it, which is considerably inconsiderate.

The only person he can see right now is Liu Sang, who is currently scowling at his feet as though he's forgotten how they work. Which he probably has. He'll never admit it, but he was in front of Pangzi when the trap had gone off, which meant that his exposure to the stupid Dust was even greater than Pangzi's was.

He's still not entirely sure how it happened, but someone had set off a trap, which was either like a smoke bomb or something so old that it had crumbled into ash over the years, and he and Liu Sang had gotten lungfuls of it, while Tianzhen and Xiao-ge had been relatively safe from exposure. That's the only good thing, is that Tianzhen isn't in... whatever state they're in. As far as Pangzi can tell, the only thing the Dust is doing is making everything look very spinny and weird, and also making Liu Sang's hair pink.

He snorts, because Jinx would never dye his hair that color, and Liu Sang looks up at him in confusion.

"What?"

"Your hair," Pangzi says. "S'funny."

Liu Sang frowns. "Not."

"Is," Pangzi says, and because he's older, he knows he's right.

Liu Sang opens his mouth, but gets distracted by his own fingers. "Huh."

"Those're nice," Pangzi says, deciding that he should give Jinx a compliment, and his fingers are, admittedly, very nice. Pangzi thinks about his fingers a lot.

"Mm," Liu Sang says. He curls his hand into a fist, and then shrieks.

"What?!" Pangzi exclaims, trying to stand up so that he can protect Jinx from whatever it is that's scared him.

"They're gone!"

"What's gone?"

"My fingers," Liu Sang says miserably, staring down at his own hand. "They disappeared."

Pangzi blinks at him. Yeah, Jinx definitely swallowed more Dust than he did. "Open your hand."

It takes Liu Sang a minute, but he does eventually, and then gasps in delight. "Oh!"

"Told you," Pangzi mutters. wondering where Tianzhen and Xiao-ge have gone off to. He remembers them saying something about going to get backup, or supplies, or some shit, but that could be his brain making things up again. It wouldn't be the first time dust has caused that.

He catches Liu Sang staring at him quizzically. "Why are you looking at me?"

"Where're yours?" Liu Sang asks suspiciously.

"My what?"

"Yours," Liu Sang repeats, holding up his hand and wiggling his fingers.

"Oh," Pangzi says, and then has to do a great deal of looking around in order to find his own fingers, which turn out to be at the ends of his arms. "Right here."

Liu Sang nods, satisfied, and then turns to someone else. "Where're yours?"

"Who're you talking to?" Pangzi asks, squinting to Liu Sang's right, and suddenly sees a blob that morphs into Wu Xie. "Tianzhen!"

"Hi," Tianzhen says, looking amused, which Pangzi has no idea why that could be. The only funny thing is Jinx's hair, and they already went over that. "My fingers are here, Liu Sang." He holds out his hand, and Liu Sang takes it in his own, nodding very seriously at the presence of fingers.

"You know whose fingers are nice?" Pangzi says dreamily. "Xiao-ge."

"His fingers are nice," Tianzhen agrees, and Pangzi always knew he was smart.

Liu Sang, meanwhile, is glaring at him like Pangzi's eaten the last chocolate protein bar, which he has not. "Where'd you put him?" he demands, as if Pangzi has hidden his beloved ouxiang away somewhere.

"I didn't put him anywhere," Pangzi retorts. "Xiao-ge goes where he wants."

"Right now he's trying to disable the other traps," Tianzhen says cheerfully, which doesn't make Liu Sang look any happier.

As if on cue, Xiao-ge's voice floats down the tunnel towards them. "Wu Xie?"

"Coming!" Wu Xie says. "You two, don't move." He disappears down the corridor before Pangzi can tell him that he's never moved in his life, he's very good at not moving.

He's concentrating so hard on not moving that he almost doesn't notice when someone sniffles next to him, a watery breath escaping from them. He looks over to Liu Sang, who is staring at the space Wu Xie had once occupied, and seems to be trying very hard not to cry.

"What is it?" Pangzi asks.

"He's gone," Liu Sang says mournfully, one hand reaching out as if he's trying to touch a non-existant Wu Xie. "Where'd he go?"

"He went with Xiao-ge," Pangzi says, trying to be reassuring. "He'll be back."

That doesn't seem to cheer Liu Sang up at all. "Where'd he go?" he asks, more insistently this time, and a single tear rolls down his cheek, falling from his chin and making a little wet circle on his knee. His eyes are large and watery behind his glasses. "I don't want him to leave."

This is surprising, since all Liu Sang does is ask when the Iron Triangle is going to leave him alone, when he's going to get his life back, when he'll finally regain the peace and quiet he apparently hasn't had since they all fell under a beach together, but right now he's looking very worried that Wu Xie has suddenly gone away for good, and Pangzi knows that feeling.

The cure, as far as he's aware, is a hug, and since Tianzhen isn't here, Pangzi will have to make do. "C'mere," he says, opening his arms. "He'll be back soon."

Liu Sang wrinkles his nose. "I'm not hugging."

"You should," Pangzi insists.

"No."

"You're scared," Pangzi teases him. "You're scared of hugging Pang-ye."

"No," Liu Sang repeats, though he sounds more unsure of himself now.

"I bet you can't," Pangzi says, knowing that challenging him will make Liu Sang do whatever he can to prove him wrong. "I bet you can't come and give me a hug."

"I could if I wanted to," Liu Sang says haughtily, but Pangzi can sense the lack of confidence behind it.

"Mm," Pangzi says, "I don't think so. I don't think you could even walk over here if you wanted to."

"I could!" Liu Sang protests, his eyebrows furrowing in a way that's actually very cute, though Pangzi won't tell him that. Yet.

"Walk then," Pangzi says. "Come on, walk towards me. I bet you can't even take a step." His arms are still open, waiting, starting to feel a little stiff, but he's good at patience.

Liu Sang frowns at him, gauging the distance from his rock to Pangzi's, and then slowly, stutteringly, stands up, and puts one foot forward, then another. His eyebrows are stuck together in intense concentration, like they are when he maps out difficult tunnels.

The third step is the hardest, and Liu Sang wobbles, tipping forward. Luckily, three steps was all he needed, and so he just pitches forward into Pangzi's arms, his face smooshing against Pangzi's chest as he wraps him up tight, sighing in contentment at having a team member safe with him. Safe with Pang-ye. Yes.

"Good Jinx," he murmurs softly. "Nice, good Jinx."

"See?" Liu Sang says, muffled into Pangzi's shoulder, where he's not pulling away. "Told you I could do it."