#but just having to interact with people drains me so much i don't have the energy to do my actual work

[magentagalaxies]

i have so much work to do for finals season which is frustrating bc on the one hand i'm very glad all my classes have project-based finals where i get to be creative instead of just doing an exam or a paper. however. i have a bad habit with every project-based final ever of accidentally getting an idea that's way too ambitious and creating more work for myself than i need to do

however this semester even tho i fell into that exact same trap my two most elaborate final projects each involve 1. editing a video essay which contains an interview i did with paul bellini and at least 45 seconds of it are bellini talking about why he thinks i have great potential as a comedian, and 2. editing a ten minute reel of the documentary footage i got on tour with scott. which of course involves rewatching various videos of me and scott being extremely chaotic together. so i stay winning ig

[umilily]

cruel that i am not allowed to just stay home from uni bc i don't want to deal with people

[noxtivagus]

tonight i think i've just been jamming to music

[kaytheday]

Things that were a Culture Shock for Dallas Winston from New York to Tulsa

Being able to see the stars for the first time. He is so surprised about how full the sky is, not that he would ever tell anybody that.

No public transportation (there is no way baby Dally ever learned how to drive and no way that he has a drivers lisence now) Buck probably taught him to drive.

He probably misses the subway and hates the bus system that Tulsa operates under (which is why he’s stealing Bucks car all the time).

Lowkey the rats. He is probably overestimating quite how much vermin there is.

The first time Darry caught him stuffing a towel in the sink drain at like 10:00 pm before they go to a drag race he was very confused.

"Why are you doing that Dal?"

"I’m planning on sleeping here tonight and if you don't keep these things plugged up when you go to bed you're gonna have a full rat invasion on your hands. They can get through pipes smaller than these you know Darrel.”

"Ratvasion up in here!"

"Shut up Two-Bit!"

Streets with nobody on them and less crowded spaces in general. Dallas is constantly asking where all the people are. Everyone else just keeps telling him that this is a normal amount of people?

Another thing that I think about is how Dallas was probably on high alert right after he moved. He was constantly used to the noise and the fighting and he was pretty paranoid about people following him and things like that because of the crime he was involved with in the city.

He was jumpy and always ready for a fight. He also thought that most of the neighborhoods in Tulsa were run by gangs. They are not (if anything they are loosely run)

The prices of things? In New York things are just more expensive. This is why he is always treating Johnny and Ponyboy because he sees that paying for three people in Tulsa is as much as paying for himself in New York.

Also the first time he got paid for barrel racing by Buck he thought he was getting gypped because it didn't seem like a lot compared to what he was getting in New York. He literally almost punched Buck's teeth out on the spot.

The accent. He would always get annoyed with how slow people talked.

"Come on! Spit it out and get to the point! I don't got all day!" He's done this on many occasions to store cashiers, people at the bar, and so many others. He gets so sick of waiting for them to say their bit.

Also the southern manners piss him off as well. He hates responding to ‘how are you?’ Or the stupid ‘have a nice day’. He’s complained more than once on the unnecessary small talk and manners.

This could also be why he comes off as rude and cold to Ponyboy especially and many others. He is blunt and says what’s on his mind and he hates small talk and unnecessary interactions. (as most New Yorkers do!) He will almost always cut an interaction short doing anything he can to get out of it. This is often what differentiates him from other southern hoods.

New Yorkers talk fast and they use a lot of complicated slang that the rest of the United States doesn't use. A lot of people get confused when he's talking to them and we know how Dallas is easily frustrated.

"I've been schleppin' your stuff around all day Buck, it's brick out 'ere and I come home to this Schlock? I gotta go lie down!" (love you and your New Yorker accent Dallas 🥰)

Let me know if you guys have any more. I love this concept.

This is inspired by some tags left on a post by @damthosefandoms

[hellfire--cult]

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

wc: 10.1k

HEAVY TRIGGER WARNINGS: +18, suicide attempt, reader is suicidal, PAS (Physician Assisted Suicide), neglectful parents, weed and alcohol, feelings of loneliness, hurt/comfort (?), fluff, kissing, some mentions of nausea, smut implication, angst. So much angst.

Plot: Eddie was new to the group, and he connected with you after an unfortunate event. You were excited to finally put an end to your suffering, of all those years of feeling nothing, and you had made a list of things to do before going.

a/n: I cannot stress this enough, please, do not read if this will be triggering for you. If you read PAST the warnings, it is your own responsibility, and I will not hold myself accountable for it.

This is somewhat inspired by the movie and book Me Before You. So yeah, have fun.

Always reblog your artists, likes don't do much.

Please, Trust Me

Eddie came into the group a little bit late, so to speak.

He was assigned to do a project alongside Steve Harrington in Psychology class. College was just something Eddie wanted to focus on studying since he had a reputation of repeating his senior year two times in a row, but Steve was friendly. Eddie, well, he didn’t realize how badly he needed social interaction until then.

So Steve introduced him to his group. Robin Buckley, Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers, and you. Now, Eddie got to know everyone, except yourself. As Nancy put it, you were in many extracurricular classes, so your time was limited. Eddie, of course, understood, but he also felt you were scared of him somehow. You always averted your gaze from him in the little moments you spent together, so he gave up on trying to talk further with you.

Holidays were approaching, and Eddie had the opportunity that his uncle was leaving the nice house he finally got to purchase near lover’s lake in Hawkins, his hometown, so he thought it would be a great idea to invite everyone over… Well, not everyone.

Since he thought you were scared of him, he believed the invitation would be rejected, but everyone else agreed to come over to his place. It was just a two-hour drive, and he couldn’t wait to get drunk and high with everyone else.

Robin told him that you didn’t have time anyway to assist, seeing that you were going to visit your mother for Christmas, so Eddie’s guilt vanished completely. He felt horrible for not inviting you, that’s why he asked Robin to ask you about your plans for Christmas.

So off they went, having a great time by the lake, drinking beer, eating grilled burgers and sausages, and then on Christmas night, the fireworks went off, and everyone was already drunk by that time, messaging loved ones and wishing them great holidays.

The next day, you called Robin, wishing her a happy Christmas. Eddie was packing the suitcase to go back to Indianapolis, when he overheard Robin tell you that they were spending New years there too, completely surprising him. He expected to return on the 26th, but he was excited to spend more time with his friends. Once again, you told Robin that it was fine since you were still at your mom’s.

And so, new years went by. Now on the 2nd of January, they all finally returned completely drained from all the alcohol and food, but still with smiles on their faces. Robin then turned to Eddie with an innocent smile on her face as she sat on the passenger’s seat.

“Eds, can you drive me to Y/N’s place? I want to show her the rocks we picked up at the lake, and I will likely stay the night at her apartment.” She batted her eyelashes at him and he rolled his own eyes.

“Okay, let’s take you to the rich girl’s place.” You explained to the group that you weren’t good with a roommate, so you rented a place near the campus to live in until your studies finished. Eddie realized you weren’t a middle-class person just by knowing that, and he doesn’t know why you would choose a college like this one instead of Harvard or something like that, as rich people do in movies.

Robin met you thanks to you being signed up to tutor her in a particular class she was struggling with. She and you immediately clicked, despite you acting a bit shy and reserved at first, as if not trusting Robin at all, like a scared animal in the wild meeting another species.

Once they arrived at your apartment complex, Robin once more looked at Eddie with a pouty lip.

“And help me with my bag? My shoulders hurt from swimming all week…” And once more, Eddie rolled his eyes, sighing as the two of them got out of his van and he went to the back to get hold of her bag, swinging it over his shoulder.

“You can just say you are lazy as fuck Buckley.” She giggled at his response and they both walked into the reception, calling the elevator to go up to your floor. Once they were at your door, Robin knocked a few times, only to be met with no response. Her smile faded slightly and she tried again, and once more, met with silence.

“Maybe she didn’t return from her mom’s.” And she bent down to look under your mat, finding the spare key. You told her she was welcome at any time, to simply look under the mat for the key and make herself comfortable, knowing Robin likes some quiet away from the dorms now and then. 

She opened the door–

“Hey, you–”

And she and Eddie immediately winced at the strong smell of unwashed dishes or something of the sort. 

“Jesus Christ, what is that smell? Did she forget to wash the dishes before leaving?” Eddie replied, looking over at the kitchen counter, his eyes furrowing together as he looked at a particular tray that was filled with gingerbread men cookies. They were all with a bit of fungus, and one had been bitten, one of its arms missing.

Robin closed the door behind her as she looked around, finding that there were bottles of different alcoholic beverages on the sink, a cup of ramen noodles on the coffee table in front of the TV, half-eaten, and then she spotted the small Christmas tree in the corner of the room.

She remembers how excited you were, buying your tree, telling her that you never had the chance of decorating one before because it wasn’t truly celebrated in your household. Dread immediately invaded her as she remembered that, slowly walking towards it and Eddie following behind, dropping Robin’s bag to the floor.

Robin gasped as she kneeled to the floor, finding different presents under the tree, one for each person in the group, including Eddie. His heart plummeted to the floor as Robin showed him the small present, and you didn’t even know what he liked, yet you bought something for him. 

Robin then turned while getting up, looking towards the door of your bedroom that was shut. She rushed towards it and she felt her heart starting to want to come out of her mouth as she swung it open as quickly as she could.

And there you were, in your bed, resting, and Robin felt herself breathe in relief, but Eddie didn’t. Not when he noticed the bottle of wine next to you, on your nightstand. 

“Maybe she didn’t think she was gonna go to her mom’s and she forgot about the cookies.” Robin said as if almost trying to convince herself. Trying to make a reasonable explanation other than the most horrible one that she could think of because of course, she doubted it when you said you were visiting your mom.

Because you mentioned to her that you two weren’t close.

Eddie slowly walked towards you, not caring about the smell that lingered in your room, knowing that you probably hadn’t showered or cleaned the place in a while. He looked down on you, tilting his head. You had the blankets all over you while you rested on your belly, eyes completely closed. 

He raised a hand towards your face, under your nose, and his breathing stopped. Your breaths were slow, not even deep, and you were drooling, all over your pillow. He grabbed onto the edge of the blanket and Robin moved to stop him, yet he yanked it off. 

“Robin… call 911.”

But Robin was frozen as she looked at your frame, her lip starting to shake as she inspected your right hand. A hand that was holding something that looked empty. Something that she saw was half full the last time she came over.

That orange flask that contained your sedatives.

And you chugged them down with alcohol.

Steve was rubbing Robin’s back as she sobbed into her hands, hunched over the chair of the waiting room. Eddie was on her other side, his leg bouncing up and down as he bit his nails. One day he was laughing with everyone and now he is waiting for some good news regarding your health, someone he barely knows, yet he is worried shitless for.

Loud heels were heard across the hallway, a woman in her late 40’s, wearing designer clothes, looking rather stern as she got closer to the door of the room you are in. Her arms are crossed as she stands next to it, tapping her heel on the floor, catching the attention of the three people sitting on the chairs.

“Excuse me?” Robin’s weak voice called out and the lady snapped her head towards her with an eyebrow raised up.

“Yes?”

“Who are you?” 

“I am this girl’s mother. Who are you?”

And the three friends froze in their seats. It was your mother. The person you supposedly spent the holidays with, yet, she didn’t look concerned for you, but rather she looked angry, or disappointed.

“We��� We’re her friends.” Robin replied with a small voice, because could she even say that? Do you deserve someone like her as a friend? Even as a partner? Someone who forgets what you told them almost a year ago? The woman scoffed, shaking her head.

“Friends? That is surprising. Were you there when she did this?” Her voice was cold, and anger started filling inside of Eddie’s chest. Why is she acting this way when her child is inside that room, fighting for her life? A life she almost took herself?

“N-No, we found her like that…” Robin looked back down again and Eddie could only look at her wrecked face with pity, yet, he could not comfort her. 

“I see. Did the doctor come out or something yet? I have somewhere to be, and I cannot waste my time on this. Not again.”

And the three sitting people shot up from their seats, all with alarmed looks on their faces.

“I’m sorry… again?” Robin asked, the answer scaring her yet she needed to know what it meant. She needed to know if she was an even more horrible person than she was ten seconds ago. Your mother scoffed, shaking her head again and Eddie’s hands turned into fists.

“It’s the third time. I already sent her to a psychiatrist, a mental hospital, and therapists, and yet she still tries. That girl has everything, and yet she always craves attention this way. I’m sick of it.”

And Robin wanted to puke, right then and there, while Steve looked at Eddie with tear-filled eyes and the metalhead could see how bad his friend felt. How evil he must feel. Steve gulped and looked back at your mother, clearing his throat to be able to talk.

“W-Why would she do this?” And your mother scoffed, looking for her phone in her purse as she talked.

“Just because I forgot about the holidays and her birthday. I already sent her a message apologizing and telling her she could ask for anything she wanted, but she went and did this.”

And Robin froze. 

Birthday. 

December 28th.

Your birthday. 

And she couldn’t handle it anymore, yanking herself away from Steve to rush towards the toilet. Steve called out to her, rushing to her aid as tears rolled down his cheeks and Eddie was frozen in place.

Not only did you spend the holidays alone, but you also spent your birthday by yourself, while they were all having fun in Hawkins, shooting fireworks and drinking alcohol to their heart's content. And you were alone, with a bottle of wine and instant noodles.

He was about to talk to your mother, about to insult her, to drag her on the floor, but the opening of the door in front of him made him stop in his tracks as the doctor walked out with a board in his hand.

“Okay, so, we got her blood cleaned up. It’s good that you caught her at such an early stage. Her vital signs look stable now, but she will have to stay here for a few days, two tops, so we can monitor her a bit more.” Your mother cleared her throat and the doctor looked up at her with a tilt of his head.

“So, she’s okay.” And there was such coldness in your mother’s voice that Eddie felt his vile rising in his throat. The doctor only sighed, taking his glasses off.

“She is, but we cannot overlook a suicide attempt. Does she have anyone to talk to? Maybe I can give you brochures for–”

“I already sent her to an institution once, but it didn't work. That child is an attention seeker, pay it no mind.” 

Eddie’s eyes were burning in anger at her words and the doctor looked as surprised and hurt as he did. He cannot bear to hear your mother’s words any longer, so little care, with lack of empathy and lack of love. He wondered how many things you endured with a woman like this in your life, and honestly, he was afraid of finding out.

“W-Well, since you’re the mother, maybe you should–”

“She is a grown woman now. She can make her own decisions as you can see. I shall not worry about her anymore.” And just like that, the heels echoed in the hallway once more and Eddie’s eyes were wide as he looked at her retreating figure. A mother leaving her child after they tried to end their life, like no care in the world, as if she hadn’t given them their life to begin with.

Three times? Three times she did this? Walking away from you? How could she call you an attention seeker? How could she even acknowledge something like that when you were screaming for help?

“Ahem.”

Eddie blinked as he looked towards the doctor who had a confused yet pained look on his face.

“She is awake if you want to see her. I assume you are a friend of hers?” 

Is he? He is not a friend, but you cannot be alone, not here, not right now. Robin is probably trying to breathe while Steve is comforting her, but maybe… Eddie knows you probably don’t want to see them either. None of that group. So he gave the doctor a nod, and he slowly opened the door of the white room.

His eyes scanned it, and finally, they landed on you. Your arms were connected to an IV and a blood transfusion bag, the heart rate monitor beeping right next to you as your back rested against the pillows, letting you sit on the bed. You looked emotionless. Eyes empty. Hand on each side of your body and Eddie knew your mind, your feelings, were completely shut off. 

He gulped with nerves and the door closed behind him, making him wince, but it alarmed you that someone came into the room, making you look up. Your eyes twitched in surprise, yet if you were, you didn’t express it, nor show it. 

“I guess you’re the one that found me?” Your voice was empty, with no tone, as if it were a recording or an AI robot. Eddie slowly nodded as he took a few steps toward the chair that was on the other side of the bed. 

“Robin and I found you.” You gave a slow nod, looking back down to your lap. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know anything about you but he feels like he should have. He cleared his throat to continue talking. “I, uh, liked the necklace you got me. Pretty metal.” He winced at his words because it was something he shouldn’t have brought up at all.

Your eyes raised to meet his, another nod going towards his way, diverting your eyes back to your lap. He looked around for a second, the nerves all over his body. He was almost trembling with the need to talk to you, but what can he say? What could be something you want to hear right now? And coming from him?

“Ask away.” He startled at your voice, jumping on his seat as he looked at you once more.

“What?”

“I know you want to ask. And maybe you can also help me by telling the rest about it and how I am not going to talk to them again.” You were still not looking at him and he cleared his throat as he felt his mouth going dry, but now he knew you weren’t going to talk to the others about this. The relationship is already broken inside of you.

“I– Okay, um… I guess the first question is, why?” He slowly asked, afraid of even being able to talk to you about this, but sometimes they say that a stranger is the best listener, and maybe Eddie was just that.

“Why… Only child, homeschooled all my life so no interaction whatsoever with the world, absent mother, holidays and birthdays by myself, father was never found. Need to say more?”

And shit, Eddie was not expecting that at all. You had been miserable from the very beginning, unwanted by your own mother, and now he realized how horrible you must have felt with the whole group. Your first ever friends and they forgot every single detail of you. How you never spent a holiday with people, and was so excited you even baked cookies to share and bought presents for a gift exchange, your first ever most likely, only to never happen.

And now, he realized that… His other friends do not deserve any kind of pity, or forgiveness.

“Okay, then… Why were you scared of me?” At his question, your eyebrow raised up, and turned your head to look at him.

“Is that what you thought?” You asked with complete confusion in her tone. He looked at you with his own frown, tilting his head.

“Well yeah, you avoided me like the plague…” And you looked up at the ceiling, closing your eyes, and shaking your head with a sigh.

“No. I don’t trust people easily as you can see.” You looked down at your lap once again and he wanted to sigh a little bit in relief at that, knowing that his clothes or his whole demeanor didn’t actually scare her. She was just shy and probably nervous.

“Right… Um, Robin and Steve are here as well, do you want me to–”

“No. I don’t want to see them.” And your words spoke for your pain, and Eddie was not going to argue against it. They honestly didn’t deserve your forgiveness or kindness, that much he knew, but he also felt guilty. Really guilty.

“I– I am sorry… I didn’t invite you because I really thought you hated me– and I took everyone away, I didn’t know any of this, I am so sorry if I knew–”

“You weren’t the one who forgot. You don’t know me, but they did.” He gave you a nod in understanding, yet the guilt is still lingering in his stomach. He cleared his throat and he wanted to ease the tension for you, to relieve the somber moment that filled the room.

“So uh, you knew I liked Metallica huh? Is it because of the hundreds of shirts that I own?” Your eyebrow raised at him and you turned to face him while he gave you a cheeky smile of his own. You squinted slightly at him, but a small tug on the corner of your lips gave you away.

“Well yeah, all the times I’ve seen you it was either Metallica or Black Sabbath. It had to be one of the two.”

“What if I only liked their logos, huh?” At that, you rolled your eyes at him, but he kept making jokes at you, and a giggle here and there could be heard in the room. 

Robin and Steve were hearing the both of you outside your room. They looked at each other for a minute before hesitantly walking away. Robin turned her head at almost every step, wanting to barge into the room to hug you, to say she was sorry. But she knew it meant nothing, not anymore, and not ever again.

What she did, what they did, cannot be fixed.

Eddie was lounging with his headphones on as he listened to music while resting against a tree trunk. He was bobbing his head as he wrote some lyrics on the notebook he had over his leg. For the past three days, he hasn’t heard of you. He tried visiting you yesterday only to find out you were discharged and he felt too embarrassed to just go to your apartment.

He had also distanced himself from the group. It didn’t sit right to be with people who could easily forget about something so important like a birthday. You didn’t have any social media, so the least they could do is put the birthday in their own cell phones, like Eddie did as soon as he left the hospital.

It’s not like he didn’t talk to them, he just made excuses when they asked to hang out with him. He just couldn’t shake off the bad vibes from it all. 

He looked up from his lap only for his eyes to bulge out of his skull as he saw you almost prancing in happiness while walking through campus. That’s a good sign, isn’t it? He immediately put his notebook into his backpack and pulled his headphones down, resting them around his neck. He got up, almost tripping as he did so, as he rushed towards you.

“Hey! Hey!” He yelled at you to catch your attention as he got closer. You turned to face him, still with a wide smile on your face.

“Hi, Eddie.” You were smiling, that’s good, that’s really good. He was almost breathing heavily from the run he just did. He wasn’t athletic and the smoking surely doesn’t do him any good.

“Yeah– I just– give me a minute.” He huffed as he tried taking a deep breath in, and you giggled motioning to him to sit on a bench near the both of you. You sat down as soon as he plopped down, taking another huff of air as he turned his head to look at you. “So, what got you all smiley?”

“Well, I just dropped out of college!” You announced with a smile and jazz hands, startling Eddie completely. His face was contorted in confusion and wonder.

“What? Why? You didn’t like what you were studying?” You shook your head as you looked at the horizon, not anything in particular.

“It’s just pointless now.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m going to California in three months.” Your head turned to look at him still with a smile on your face. “I’ve been offered P.A.S.” 

He frowned, not knowing what those syllables meant at all. He tried putting them together in his head but nothing was coming up.

“What’s that?”

And Eddie didn’t know why you opened up to him with that. He didn’t know why he didn’t care that you did. He didn’t know why this relationship between the two of you evolved in this manner, as quickly as it did… but he never expected to hear the response you gave him.

“Physician Assisted Suicide.”

And now, Eddie knew that term, and his eyes bulged out of his skull. You were… offered that? How can that happen? You had no health issues to go through something like that, so why would you consider that? Why would the doctors even consider that for you? His heart was just hammering in his chest as dread invaded his gut.

“W-What? Why– how?” He was speechless, not really knowing what he was asking or what he wanted to know at this point. He felt his gut turning at the information like he couldn’t believe someone as young as yourself could even consider that way out. 

“Well, it was due to all my medical records, be it psychological and physical. My mindset never changed.” Your gaze turned from him to nothingness once more. “I go, get help, only to get out and for everything to be the same. It never changes, because it was never me who had to change.”

Eddie slowly blinked at your wording and his eyes drifted to the sky as his thoughts raced through his mind. Can he even talk you out of this? How can he even do that? You seem happy, way too happy with this solution… You were excited.

“You’re not… scared?”

“No. Not at all. I am ready to go. My heart can barely handle it anymore.” And Eddie’s eyes turned towards the profile of your face. You had made your decision clear, and he wouldn’t be able to stop you now. No one can. The group was no longer part of your life, your mother didn’t care about your decision so it seems… and he is no one to stop you.

“Alright… You– um, what are you gonna do until… you know, then?” He asked and you smiled at him, grabbing your backpack to take out your notebook, and flipping a page to show him a list, which made him frown in confusion.

“These are things I never tried because the opportunity never presented itself. Before, I didn’t know–” You cut your voice short at what you were about to say, and then you continued. “Now that I know when it’s gonna happen, I don’t want to go with any regrets.” 

Eddie looked at the list, and he couldn’t believe… how trivial some of these things were. 

- Go to an amusement park

- Smoke a cigarette

- Buy a Barbie Dreamhouse

- Eat a cake for breakfast

- Get high

And then he saw more complicated ones.

- Go skydiving

- Learn to drive (or attempt)

- Try to skateboard

- Ride on a jet ski

- Attempt to make a rainbow cake

And so many more. You had filled an entire page with things you wanted to do and he looked up at you to see you looking up at the sky with a smile on your lips.

“I think I should get the Barbie Dreamhouse first. Oh, maybe get some alcohol, I never got fully drunk, but maybe tonight I can since I don’t have to wake up early anymore–” And you went on with your plans and Eddie was just staring at you as the thoughts ran through his brain.

Everyone else was walking all around the two of you, and nobody knew that you were going to die in three months. No one knew you had made an entire bucket list with things to do before going. No one knew about this decision of yours, and he wasn’t going to let you be alone in this. He doesn’t want you to live these last few weeks with no one at your side.

“You know, or I can make one of your wishes on the list come true.” Your head snapped towards him with a surprised look on your face.

“Oh, what?” And a smirk formed on Eddie’s lips.

“Getting high.”

“Did you prepare the pan?”

“Uh…” 

“Eddie!”

He immediately rushed to grab onto the pan as he burst into giggles thanks to the weed in his system. The munchies came to life with you two after smoking a whole joint from Eddie’s stash. You had the open bag of pizza rolls in your hands, the oven already turned on as you waited for Eddie to put some oil spray on the pan.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just– I was stuck looking at the wall.” He simply replied to you, making you burst into laughter, trying not to let the pizza rolls fall to the ground. He followed you with chuckles as he sprayed the pan and handed it to you so you could throw the pizza rolls on it and then begin cooking them in the oven.

You were relaxed, that much Eddie knew, and he was smiling as you tip-toed in a dance towards your couch, plopping down. He followed soon after, sitting next to you. You giggled as you stared at the ceiling.

“I feel like I’m on a cloud.” Eddie stared at your profile for a while before he began talking once more.

“I wanna help.”

“Hmm?” You turned to face him still with a dopey smile on your face.

“I want to help you complete some things on your list.” 

And your smile fell as if becoming sober out of nowhere. Eddie then gulped but his resolution was already said and you moved uncomfortably in your place.

“You don’t have to pity me. I can do these–”

“No, you can’t. Learning to drive a car? How do you plan to do that?” At that, you opened and closed your mouth many times and then cleared your throat.

“An instructor!” Eddie rolled his eyes at that, and put his hand up, his fingers up.

“Getting drunk, you need supervision.” He put a finger down. “Going to a concert, you’re gonna get squashed.” He put another one down. “Playing Mortal Kombat, you need an enemy.” He put another and then you stopped him completely, shoving his hand down.

“Okay, okay, okay! I see your stupid point.” You sighed as you threw your head back against the headrest of the couch, looking at your ceiling. He knew you were overthinking it, but he honestly wanted to help you in any way he could. 

“C’mon, there are a few things in your list I am dying to try too. Like– Eating Argentinian food. I never tried that shit, I bet it’s fucking delicious.” You giggled at his expression and then nodded at him.

“Okay, fine. You can help. You will also help me bake that stupid rainbow cake I always wanted to try.” He laughed at that with a shake of his head.

“Another thing I never did in my life was bake. It’s gonna be a journey. Do you have insurance here? We might burn it all down.” At that you punched his shoulder lightly, causing him to laugh it out followed by your giggle. 

And what a journey it was gonna be.

“Seriously, YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO GET ME INTO THIS TOO!” Eddie almost screamed as he looked out the window of the helicopter with a frightened look on his face. Harnesses were all around his body, a man behind him strapping himself closer to Eddie’s back.

You were in front of him, holding your laughter as you held onto a handle on the side of the big machine that was now miles and miles above the ground. The helmets on both of your heads almost crushed your skulls but the protection was needed. Another man was strapping himself to you behind your back.

“Oh come on! You wanted to try new things!” You yelled at him so he could hear you over the loud sound of the helicopter.

“Yes! BUT NOT SKYDIVING! I WAS HAPPY TO WAIT FOR YOU WITH EARTH BENEATH MY FEET!” He yelled back and you were trying really hard to contain your laughter. Suddenly the big door next to the both of you slid open and the wind immediately pushed your body and Eddie’s back from the force but the guys remained still as they held onto the handles above the door.

“You guys ready!?” The one behind you asked and Eddie rolled his eyes behind the goggles.

“DO I HAVE A FUCKING CHOICE?”

“Nope.” The guy behind him said before jumping out with no warning, dragging Eddie with him, and then the guy strapped to you followed close behind. You were screaming your lungs out, and Eddie was shrieking. The adrenaline of falling was making him feel butterflies in his belly, almost making him feel sick.

He can hear you closer now and he raised his head to see you in front of him with your arms splayed out and reaching out for him. He could hear your laughter through your screaming and he reached out, fighting the strong wind, to finally lock his hands with yours as you two were freefalling towards the ground. 

He couldn’t help but smile and cheer out from how extreme the whole situation was. He didn’t know how you weren’t hungover, you had gotten yourself as drunk as possible yesterday night while dancing to his music. He showed you how to headbang properly, and he took care of you when you started letting the contents out in the toilet.

He held your hands as tightly as possible, your fingers intertwined with his, as you both yelled with excitement and fear as you plummeted down and down. You only separated when the men behind your backs tapped on your sides so they could pull the parachute open. 

Your bodies jerked as you started floating in the sky, and Eddie was left laughing as you both glided downwards towards the ground again. He could see the entire city and the fields as you both kept coming down. He turned his head to see you laughing as well, your head looking up at the sky in bliss and he felt his heart tug on him slightly. 

Once you two touched earth again, Eddie let the air out of his lungs with relief and the guy behind him unstrapped himself so Eddie could catch a proper breath, taking the goggles and helmet off. You followed a few seconds later, walking towards him with a smile on your face and taking your goggles off.

“It wasn’t so bad, was it?” You were breathing heavily and he scoffed at you with a shake of his head, flicking his fingers on your forehead.

“I won’t let you drag me into something like this ever again.” 

You laughed at him and you both walked back to Eddie’s van after you paid for the experience. You didn’t let Eddie pay at all, since you dragged him into it. He was going to invite you for dinner though, and you wanted McDonalds, so he was driving back towards town as you two talked in the van.

“So, you never told me about your parents.” You blurted out, catching him by surprise, but you were indeed right. He gripped his steering wheel a little tighter, but he kept a small smile on his face.

“Oh, where to begin? My mother died when I was young and my Father was… very abusive, and often dragged me into stealing with him. He got caught and he’s been in jail for a while now, he’s charged with robbery and homicide attempt.” He took a big gulp in as he kept driving, not used to letting people into his life in this way. “But, my uncle Wayne took me in at fifteen. He is the father figure my father failed to be.”

You were silent as you listened to him. He didn’t hear anything from you so he turned to face you, only to see you looking at him with tears running down your cheeks. He wondered what was going on in your head at that point. He was about to ask you what was wrong and you sniffled, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand.

“I’m– sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.” You said regretfully and he instantly shook his head.

“No, no… don’t worry. I’m past it.” He was worried about what you were thinking about at the moment since you remained silent for a while.

“I’m a little jealous to be honest… You had someone that…” And he waited for you to continue, but when you didn’t, he pressed forward.

“Someone that what?”

“Wanted you.”

And his heart broke at that, immediately so, and he knew his eyes started burning from the incoming tears and he shook his head to keep focused on driving. You didn’t need him to cry, you didn’t need that. 

But should he tell you what he thinks? Should he tell you what has been on his mind for the past month that he helped you tick things off your list?

“I–”

“Oh! Before I forget–” You looked through your purse, pulling out your phone as you started scrolling, and he frowned as he tried to look at what you were doing and then back at the road. You giggled and moved away so he couldn’t see. “No peeking!”

“Oh come on, you can’t just do that and not expect me to be anxious!” He laughed as he kept his gaze on the road and then he saw light in his peripheral vision and he looked quickly to see you were showing your phone to him. He switched from the road and to your phone but he couldn’t quite read it. “What’s that?”

“You know how one of the things was to go to a concert?” He nodded and you giggled, putting your phone down again. “I got us two tickets to go see Megadeth!” 

His jaw could just fall from his skull at this point as he tried to focus on driving and not the shock from those news. Did you say Megadeth? Are you serious? Eddie has been dying to see them live but when he got into the virtual line they got sold out in just a few seconds. 

“What?!” He yelled and you kicked your feet on your seat as you stared down at the phone. He was speechless, a smile spreading on his face, only for it to fall back down. “Wait, do you even LIKE Megadeth!?”

“Well, I haven’t heard much, BUT YOU LIKE THEM, and I assumed that we should go to a concert we both can enjoy. I doubt you want to go to a Taylor Swift concert.” You replied with a wiggle of your eyebrows only for him to scoff.

“Taylor Swift has some sick songs. But– Yes, I do prefer Megadeth sweetheart.” He smiled widely at you and then looked back at the road, cheering as he hit the steering wheel with excitement. “Fuck yeah!”

You were laughing on the passenger’s seat and Eddie was smiling all the while as realization started to dawn on him that… he may like something more than Megadeth’s music.

It was a special kind of tune.

“Seriously, how long are you gonna take darling, we had to go like yesterday!” Eddie yelled with a pissed-off tone as he paced in your living room. 

“It’s my first time wearing something like this, it needs to be perfect!” He heard you yell from the bathroom and he sighed, but a smile was splayed on his lips. He was looking out the window as he waited for you in his Megadeth tank top with a black leather jacket on top. He heard the bathroom click open and he sighed in relief, turning around with a roll of his eyes.

“Finally–” And his breath was knocked out of his lungs. Your hair was messy, completely batted, wearing heavy black makeup on your eyes, strong lipstick on your lips, a black top with a black long-sleeved fishnet shirt on top, and then black leather pants below. You gave him a twirl and wiggled your eyebrows at him.

“So!? I had to look at a tutorial on YouTube to get this done, but I think I did pretty good–”

“You look beautiful.” And it was natural. It came out without doubt, without him thinking too much about it, and you were shocked, yet, he noticed how you diverted your gaze away from him, and he chuckled at how embarrassed you got from a compliment regarding your physique. 

“I– uh, it isn’t weird?” You asked and Eddie knew you felt a little self-conscious of how different you looked. But you were indeed beautiful, this just enhanced it in ways he didn’t think could be possible and he felt his knees bending for you.

“It isn’t darling…” 

There was a moment of silence between the two of you and Eddie could only stare at you as he walked closer to your frame. He saw how your shoulders went up and down a littler harder than before, signaling him that you were taking deeper breaths, maybe from nervousness, he didn’t know.

“Um–”

“Sweetheart…” You finally looked at him and he smiled, rolling his eyes. “Can we please go now!?”

And you giggled at him, the tension leaving the both of you as you made your way out to head to his van. 

The ride to the stadium was filled with music, mostly Megadeth which you started listening to since you showed Eddie the tickets three weeks ago. Today signaled the second month of you two completing your bucket list.

One more month to go.

And the concert was filled with screams and laughter from your part, Eddie protecting you from the people pushing against you, but you didn’t care, experiencing your first concert ever, and you wanted to share it with him. This was your first and last concert, and you decided it was gonna be Megadeth, for his taste.

“That was AWESOME! My neck needs ice from all the headbanging though.” You sighed as you two got back into the van after almost three hours of jumping around. Your make up was smudged, your hair looked a little sweaty, and your lipstick had washed away from the sweat, yet, you looked as beautiful as you did hours ago. Even before the makeup. Maybe even more.

“Hey, you were great for your first metal concert.” You giggled at his words and gave him a nod.

“I am a natural.” You smiled at him and he just kept staring at you, licking his lips as he looked down and then moved his whole body in order to face you. The nerves were almost killing him as he tried to formulate the following words.

“I uh– I can help you cross another thing off your list.” You tilted your head in question and you pulled out your notebook from the bag you left in the van with your bucket list and then a green highlighter. 

“What is it?” You smiled at him as you handed them to him and he scanned the whole list, looking for that one thing and when he spotted it, he felt his heart in his throat as he slowly showed it to you, pointing at the line.

Have the first kiss

You blinked once, twice, and then looked up at him with a confused frown in your eyebrows. He gulped loudly and he might have overstepped it, but he still waited for your response and he could see the incoming tears in your eyes as he felt his hands becoming sweaty.

“You– You don’t have to do that… I– You don’t have to do something you don’t want to–”

“I want to. I really want to.” 

He could see that you were nervous, looking everywhere but his face. You didn’t reject him. You were worried that he didn’t want to do this and felt pressured because of your list, and that was far from the truth. 

“I– How does this go?” And he wanted to smile at your innocence, but he felt sadness that you never experienced any kind of physical interaction in all your life. But he smiled anyway, in order to calm your nerves down. He raised his hand towards your cheek once you moved to face him in the passenger seat. Your breathing hitched at his touch, finally looking at him, directly into his brown eyes.

“Just close your eyes. You can tell me to stop whenever, I won’t pressure you, sweetness.”

And his voice was soft, and caring, his thumb smoothing your cheek in circles and when he saw you close your eyes, he took a deep breath in as he slowly leaned in. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, the blood rushing to his head at a quick pace, but he had to focus. He knew his face was flushed, but he couldn’t help it.

He could smell your perfume still, despite all the jumping, all the sweat, it was still lingering on your body. He finally closed the gap between the two of you in a soft peck on the lips, staying there for two seconds before pulling away as a chill ran down his spine. He wanted to dive into it, take your lips completely, but he didn’t want to overstep. He opened his mouth to ask if you were okay, only to be surprised by your hands grasping his face, pulling him towards your mouth again.

He gasped into the kiss, and he took it as a sign that you wanted to know more, experience more, learn more. So he kissed back, his hand moving towards the back of your head in order to push you further into him as you two hovered over the console. He started to move his lips, slowly, and he felt you follow him, hesitant at first, maybe doubting what you were doing. 

He was having a hard time focusing on not letting his instincts take over, a very horrible time. This was a bad idea. This was a terrible fucking idea and he knew it, but he couldn’t help it. He needed to be the one to give this to you, because if someone else did… he wouldn’t be able to bear it. He didn’t want anyone close to you, not like this.

He felt your hands moving to the back of his head, your fingers digging into his curls, and he held a groan in, trying to not let it show how carnal he was becoming. He was nervous but he wanted to see if you wanted to take it even further, so he poked his tongue out, licking your bottom lip tentatively. 

He heard a gasp coming from you and he noticed that you didn’t get the idea of what he wanted to do, so he tried again, licking in between your bottom and top lip. You seemed to know what part comes next, so you slowly opened your mouth, and he met his tongue with yours, earning another gasp of surprise.

He wanted to know what thoughts were running in your mind right now as he kissed you. Did you feel the heat rising? Did you feel scared like he does? Did you feel happy? Confused? Nervous? What is going on in that head of yours?

He didn’t want to break it apart, he really didn’t, but it’s been minutes, and he didn’t want to overdo it at all, and he can’t hide his real feelings for much longer. He slowly pulled away from you, the smack of lips separating and vibrating all over the van. You two were breathing heavily as you stared into each other’s eyes.

“So? How was that for a first kiss?” He asked breathlessly and he could see something in your eyes that he couldn’t quite describe. It was a mixture of emotions, not one in particular, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. He was still holding onto your face, waiting on your response.

“It–” You opened your mouth to say something, only to shut it seconds after, and then a smirk appeared on your lips, pulling away from him to sit straight in the passenger seat. “I don’t know Munson, got nothing to compare it to.”

His mouth fell open, a laugh escaping his lips as he poked the side of your body, making a giggle escape your lips, flinching away from him as he kept poking you repeatedly. 

Yeah… your laugh was better than any song out there.

Five days.

Five days and you were leaving.

And it’s not like you were going to come back. You weren’t going to in any shape or form.

Eddie was lounging on your couch as you put things in cardboard boxes. Things you wanted to donate since you weren’t going to need them any longer. He closed his eyes tightly, his heart aching and wanting to stop you, to yell at you that you didn’t have to do this, not anymore. 

“Okay, I think I’m done for today. You sure you don’t want any of this?” You asked him and he felt as if a knife was stabbed into his throat. He wanted to cry like he had been doing alone at night whenever he went to bed. Sleepless nights were plagued by the thought of not seeing you anymore, of not being able to hug you, of not being able ever to cuddle you like he wanted. 

“Yeah, pretty sure.” He didn’t want to sound bitter or angry, but he couldn’t hide it. You didn’t acknowledge it of course, so you shrugged, closing the box and standing up from the floor before heading to your room. 

He stared at your open door, needing to hype himself up. If it’s not now, he won’t have the chance to do it again. He needs to kiss you once more, he needs to hold you close, he needs to show his feelings through actions.

So he stood up and slowly walked towards your room. You were cleaning up your closet, looking through your shirts. He watched you move through your room, and he looked over to your desk, seeing the almost completed bucket list. Some were just impossible to complete, like riding a kangaroo, but there was a particular one that he wanted to fulfill, and not because it was on the list.

If this was the only chance he could do it, he would take it. You noticed his presence when you turned around with a shirt on your hand and saw him looking at your notebook. You tilted your head to the side as his fingers trailed one particular line that was yet to be highlighted.

“Eds? What’s wrong?” Your voice held worry as you put the shirt back in the closet and Eddie turned his head up to look at you. He turned to close the door behind him, to face you again, taking a few steps forward to stand in front of you.

“I saw one more thing on the list… a thing I want too.” His voice was small, lacking confidence, filled with nerves, but he needed this. He needed you. He hoped he wasn’t getting this wrong, because ever since that kiss the two of you stole glances from one another, laughter as friends turned into flushed giggles. 

“And what is that?” You asked with a frown on your eyebrows, in question. He wrapped an arm around your waist, flushing your body to his, his breath most likely hitting your face as he felt your shoulders move even quicker than before, signaling him you were taking fast breaths.

“Do you trust me on this?” You stared up into his eyes for a full five seconds before slowly nodding at him. He lifted his other hand to cup your face in his palm, and he leaned down to take your lips with his. 

Electricity ran through his body, and he wanted to smile, he wanted to cry, he wanted to yell, he wanted to rip and break the walls, he needed to destroy something, he needed to hug someone, he needed comfort but he also needed the rage. 

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding onto him as your lips moved together, soon tongues intertwining as the seconds passed, and your breathing turned jagged as you pulled away for some air. Eddie leaned down to kiss your jaw, startling you, to then move downwards towards your neck, planting soft kisses onto your skin.

A gasp escaped your lips at the sudden sensation, new, raw, and Eddie felt you shiver under his touch, but instead, you were gripping his shoulders in order to pull him closer as the hand that was on your waist started sneaking under the hem of your shirt so he could touch your skin. 

“Eddie…” It was a partial moan, but he took it as a green light, moving you towards the bed so he could lay you down but before he crawled on top of you he took the chance to take his jacket off, throwing it across the room, not caring where it landed. 

If this was going to be the only time to have you like this, he would make sure to make you feel like the most adored person in the world. He will make sure of it. Even as your moans filled the room, he couldn’t help but want to record them, knowing he won’t ever hear them again.

And that line was highlighted in green when you both woke up the next morning.

Make love

He didn’t want to look at you. 

He couldn’t.

The sun was shining through your curtains as you walked around the apartment with the small carry-on waiting for you at the front door. The past few days the two of you dipped into the sheets, all day, cooking when necessary only to return to bed. 

He really wanted to cry and yell, and he almost left in the middle of the night in order to not see this day. In order to just run away from the fact this was your last hour with him, and you had asked him to take you to the airport. He can ditch you, tell you he wasn’t going to do it, that you could get a cab. 

But he couldn’t do it. His heart was ripping out of his chest at every step you took in your apartment, the seconds ticking closer and closer to the departure of your plane. A plane with no return at all. A one way ticket. 

He looked around your apartment, and boxes of stuff that you wanted to donate surrounded him, as well as bags of your clothes. You told Eddie that he was the only one in your will. That fact broke him to the core, knowing that you were leaving everything to him, but the only thing he wanted was you, and you were going to leave him. 

He didn’t want your pans, your apartment, your cutlery, your game consoles, or TVs. He wanted you, and only you. He didn’t notice that his tears were falling down his face as the lump in his throat became bigger and harder to swallow at every gulp he tried to take. 

“Okay, I think I’m–” You stopped on your tracks when you saw his profile, noticing the tears, your eyes widening as you approached him, your hands cupping his cheeks for him to look at you. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re leaving me.” He wasn’t going to hold back his feelings anymore. He showed you through his actions, but he never said them out loud, and the least he can do is let you know this.

“What–”

“I love you.” Your eyes widened and your mouth hung open at his confession, but Eddie didn’t stop talking. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and fuck, you need to know how much I fucking want you.”

You were stunned into the ground and that’s when Eddie turned to look at you, only to see tears running down your face as you covered your mouth, taking steps away from him.

“You– You can’t say that to me, not now. Please– Please– not now.” You were choking into your sobs as he stood in front of you, coughing to be able to speak.

“I– I want you to stay… Please, don’t take that flight… I beg of you, please, stay with me…” His lip was trembling as he felt nausea fill his stomach, taking a few steps towards you as the crying finally was heard through the apartment.

“I– I don’t need your pity! I– I am happy I am doing this! You’re lying in order for me to stay, and I’m not going to buy it!” You yelled through your sobs, and Eddie felt his chest ripping open at your thoughts.

“I am not lying! I am in love with you! Why can’t you believe that!?” He was screaming now, trying to get his point across but you also didn’t back down, yelling back to him with the same confusion, with the same anger, with the same sadness.

“Because how can I trust that!? How can I trust you!?” And Eddie grabbed you onto your shoulders, squeezing you tightly in order for you to look at him and not run away. His eyes were on fire as he gazed at you through his tears.

“Trust me just like you trusted me to hold your hair back when you got too drunk and you were in the toilet! Trust me just like you trusted me to teach you how to drive! Trust me just like you trusted me to protect you in your first night club outing! Trust me just like you trusted me when I made love to you!” 

And the screaming ceased, eyes locked into one another’s, tears still streaming down, never stopping, heavy breathing trembling against every wall. You were shaking under his touch, your lips trembling as your hands shook on your sides while he still gripped onto your shoulders. You opened your mouth to talk once more, your voice small, broken.

“You… One day you will get tired of me, but you will feel bad for leaving me, so you won’t… I can’t– I can’t chain you like that–” Your voice was breaking his heart, even more than before, and he shook his hair desperately as he let go of your shoulders so he could grab your hands and hold them with his, getting closer to you.

“No, no… I won’t ever get tired of you… Not you, not in a million years…”

“Eds…”

“Please… Please don’t go… Please, trust me.” 

You sobbed a gulp of air and you raised in order to give him a soft kiss on the lips. His breathing hitched at it, but kissed you back, dread filling his core, every vein, every blood cell instantly freezing at what the future will hold, of what this kiss meant. You pulled away with a small smile on your face. Small, authentic, yet sad.

“I love you, Eddie… I’m sorry…”

And your flight took off that day.

“Mr. Munson…”

“Mr. Munson…”

“Mr. Munson!”

Eddie jolted in his seat as he put his wallet down to look up at his group of students. Gregory was raising his hand and Eddie pointed at him so he knew he was acknowledged.

“Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts. What’s wrong Mr. Gill?” He asked and his student asked something about the textbook they were all reading. His college students. He began explaining the paragraph that seemed like a puzzle to students from the book “Down the Rabbit Hole”.

He graduated in Psychology three years ago. He was offered a job as a professor in the same college he graduated from, and he was more than happy to pass his knowledge to other students to help them understand how the brain works, and the many branches that can come out of it after every single situation in life. Traumatic or not.

Once his students went back to reading, he grabbed onto his wallet again, looking inside to see a picture of you and him, completing one of your bucket list’s objectives. 

Go to an amusement park and get pictures taken in a photo booth. 

He chuckled as he remembered that outing, how you had screamed at your first ride on a roller coaster.

He became friends with Steve once again but was still not fond of the rest of the group. The only reason he got close to Steve again was because he was also a teacher in the same college. He was a professor in physical trauma, so, in their breaks, they would smoke together as they walked through campus. 

The bell rang and it was time for him to finally head home after a long day of having four classes in the day. He grabbed his suitcase, hoping no student would stop him on his way out and gladly it never happened. His hair is still the same length, but he is always using a ponytail or a bun on his head. 

He has heard rumors that people always gossip about him, asking if he was single, or what was his life like outside college. He shrugged the comments away as they weren’t important at all. He just came to work and that’s it.

He got into his car, a black jeep he saved a year for in order to buy it. He missed the van, but he had to upgrade it once and for all. His van was a little old so replacement parts were a bitch to get. He turned on his car and then started his drive back to his home, a two-story house. It wasn’t big or luxurious, but it was his home.

He sighed in relief as he opened the door, throwing his suitcase on the couch after slamming the door closed. He cracked his neck a few times before taking his blazer off and then his tie, unbuttoning the first two buttons of his shirt and opening the cuffs at the end of the sleeves. He groaned with satisfaction as he sniffed the air.

He smiled as he walked towards his kitchen, leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest, his teeth showing into a massive grin. 

“Hi baby.” You smiled widely at him as you took the pan out of the oven, filled with cookies that were freshly baked. He walked towards you, his hand stretching out in order to grab a cookie, only for it to get slapped away by you. “They’re hot!” 

“I am strong, I can handle a little bit of burning.” He grinned down at you, leaning down to give you a soft kiss on the lips in greeting. “Were my princesses hungry for cookies?”

“Are you talking to me or…” He chuckled at the pout on your face and he bent down to kiss the big bump on your belly, standing up straight later on, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close to him.

“Those two are my princesses, you, my love, are my queen.” You rolled your eyes at his antics but you giggled either way. He gave you a smooch on the cheek, making you laugh, trying to push him away. He spotted something on the kitchen counter, pulling away from kissing you and getting the item in his hand.

“Oh! Yeah, Chrissy gifted that! She said–” Eddie laughed as he looked at you and then putting the two pink pacifiers that you can put flavored ice in so they can chew and help with the heat.

“Another gift!? Damn, she really wants to be the godmother of one of our princesses huh.” You pushed onto his shoulder with a pout on your bottom lip.

“Hey, she is going to be the best aunt.” Eddie nodded at that and he really wasn’t angry at Chrissy. You met her after you moved out of your apartment to go to Eddie’s. She was moving in at the same time you were, and you two helped each other in bringing the boxes in. 

Yes, your flight took off that day… Without you in it.

You stayed with him, wrapped in his arms as you cried, not being able to stop as your feelings confused you, scared you, your mind a jumbled mess but Eddie held you through it. Eddie wasn’t going to let you go, never, and he promised it, over and over again into your ear, hoping it stuck to your brain.

“Oh no baby, I don’t doubt that.” He smiled at you as you started taking the cookies off the tray, taking care of your hands so that you don’t burn yourself. Eddie just stared at you with adoration in his eyes, as if you held the entire world in your hand, and you did. You are his world. You are everything.

You turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow in question, wondering if he was scheming something that you didn’t know about.

“Now, what is going on in that mind of yours Munson?” He found it ironic that you can easily ask that question to him when he wanted to ask that to you many times before. He smiled at you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, his hands resting below your bump, holding onto it as he felt his two daughters moving inside of you.

“I just love you Mrs. Munson…” You turned your head to give him a soft kiss on the cheek, before focusing once again on the cookies.

“And I love you.”

After a moment of silence, he pressed a soft kiss on the side of your neck, surprising you, yet a giggle escaped your throat.

“Thank you.” That confused you, turning your head to look at him and he was already smiling fondly at you.

“For what?”

“For trusting me.”

The end.

a/n: this story explores the idea of death, the idea of being ready to receive it with open arms, with a rational head. But it also explores the fact that things get better if you meet the right people. It might not be now, it might not be tomorrow. It might take years for you to do so, and people in your life will come and go.

But there will always be that one person. And that is all you will ever need.

Taglist of people I mentioned this to: @littlesubbyflower @munson-blurbs @andvys

[bubblebbg]

would you be able to do a Miguel x f!reader where the reader is a civilian who's the sunshine to his grumpy? She's pretty much the definition of the quote "the violence it took to be this kind". She had an abusive childhood, and unfortunately she's currently up in an abusive relationship, she tries really hard to hide her pain with warmth and laughter, hiding her bruises with long sleeves in the summer and concealer.

This is my first request, I'm so happy! I wasn't really comfortable writing the physical abuse part (I don't want to misrepresent this issue) , so I've made it to where the reader is in an unhappy relationship instead. I hope this is along the lines of what you wanted. :)

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞.

Miguel O'Hara x reader

To him, you're one of those people that deserves better, deserves the best. Today especially, that's what you should be getting. If Miguel could, he'd hand you worlds on a silver platter. But he can't. Not with your boyfriend around to stop him.

Part 2

"Your boyfriend is the biggest asshole I've ever met. Come on, you have to know this by now." Miguel has pulled you to the balcony of your apartment and away from the music and festivities, his jaw clenched with anger as he seethes. He's never liked your boyfriend; there's you, the sweet, kind woman who's always considerate, endlessly patient, practically saintly in nature. And then there's your boyfriend, some scum of the earth who's only ever been callous and cold during your interactions. Miguel has tried and tried and tried to keep his mouth shut about it, but the way your smile faltered as you explained that he couldn't take off work to be at your birthday party is his last straw. "Seriously, today of all day's he has to work? Say the word and I'm sending that douchebag flying through a wall-"

"Miguel, stop it. It's fine, he's just a busy guy you know? And I'm sure you throw enough people around already." You chuckle, but the sadness doesn't quite leave your eyes. You sip some of the champagne in your glass, sighing as you let the alcohol numb some of your senses. Looking out at the cityscape, arms folded on the railing. He really wishes you knew how much you deserve, and the selfish part of him wants to be the one to give that to you.

When you catch him staring at you, at the way the lights of the city glow on your face, he turns forward, sighing and running a hand through his hair. "I just don't get it is all. You could have anyone you wanted, why him? Hell, you're better off alone than with him. If I could make the decisions for you, he would've been gone a long time ago."

You step closer to him and rest your head on his shoulder, eyes closed and the champagne drained from your glass. "I know you're concerned about me, but in the end these decisions are mine to make. I'll talk to him after the party. Until then, how's everything at work? Still got a lot on your hands?"

A smile plays at his lips, feeling a bit warm from the touch. "Hey, don't go changing the subject on me. We need to talk about this."

"You change the subject on me all of the time! Humor me on my birthday, please." He rolls his eyes because he can't believe that you'd play the birthday card on him, but he also knows he can never say no to you. Not with the way you look at him. So he puts an arm around your shoulders and lets a breath out his nose.

"Still stressful, but not so bad. I guess your whole 'have meetings to help people with their mission strategy instead of just yelling at them' plan has been working." You laugh at that, eyes crinkling as you lean more into him. You look good like this, the cheery person you usually are, not the one being let down by their partner. "See? And how hard was that? If I had spider powers like you, I'd be the ultimate diplomatic leader and badass." He can't stop the laughter that bubbles up in his chest when you punch and kick the air to emphasize your badassery.

"Your form is terrible," he smirks, "You'd be dead in seconds."

"And if it weren't for me, every spider ever would have quit because of your nagging."

"Right, right, whatever makes you feel better, civilian."

This is how it's supposed to be, the way it was before you decided to date this guy. It was always you and Miguel before: him carrying all of your grocery bags as you raved about some new hobby, you and him on the roof of your apartment building, him pointing out flaws in a movie at the theater while you ate all the popcorn, him begrudgingly pushing you on a park swing despite his assertations that you were in fact too old to still do this. It hits him all at once. He's missed you. Your absence leaves gaps in his life that no one else can fill.

"Hey," he mumbles, "I know you said you didn't want any gifts, but I got you something. Happy birthday."

Your eyes widen as he timidly hands you a rectangular box, his gaze turned to the city and a light blush on his face. He watches through the corner of his eyes as you open it. Inside is a silver necklace with a lily-of-the-valley preserved in resin, the flower you told him about that grew around your childhood home. Your palm comes to cover your mouth and tears well up in your eyes at the considerate nature of his gift. (That's Miguel, always remembering the details of things you say. When was the last time your boyfriend did that again?) Miguel turns to face you with an anxious expression. "Do you not like it? I left the receipt in there, you can return it and use the money on-"

"No, no, no, it's beautiful," you smile, turning and lifting the hair from your neck, "Could you please put it on me?"

He sighs in relief, taking the necklace and clasping it gently around your neck. As soon as he's done you jump into his arms with a delighted giggle, beaming with joy. He lets himself hug you back for a few more seconds before setting you down. Seeing you like this has his heart racing as he's filled with the courage to say it, to tell you what you mean to him. He opens his mouth to speak and -

Someone shouts through the sliding doors of the balcony, "Hey, where have you been? Get inside, your boyfriend just got here!"

And just like that, the courage is gone, his mouth closing to a slight frown. As he's preparing to go back in and stomach the sight of you with that man, he sees you climbing the steps of the fire escape and stops at the door.

"What are you doing?"

You stop, turning to look at him with the breeze at your back and the moon shining on you. You offer your hand to him.

"Come on, let's go. We can sit on the rooftop like we used to."

He pauses, taking a look at the party inside. Then he takes your hand and you're leading him up like you used to, and everything that was out of place in him shifts back to fit. He smiles at how small and smooth your hand is in his larger, rough one. Yeah, he thinks.

This is how it's meant to be.

[cremedensada]

I’m gonna need general hcs on interactions with the boy next door… like what if we just moved to town and we first meet him as we’re moving in… Also can they be in like highschool? I don’t know if that’s already the gist but yeah. She’s moving in with her mom and he’s there…

Yandere Boy Next Door

sorry anon i think i went way to far away from what you wanted shdhdh also theyre senior high school students (grade 11 - 12) which is like, two preparatory years for college. so theyre adults bc im much more comfortable with that :33

btw his name is lukas !! he's named now

male yandere + gender neutral darling/reader

lukas is easily approachable - he's got that warmth about him that just draws people in. it's all practiced to maintain his popularity though.

he's also a huge people-pleaser, despite the fact he easily gets burnt out and has his social battery drained.

so when his mom asked him to be a dear and help the new neighbor's kid on their way around the school + neighborhood, he just couldn't say no

sure he's tired, possibly close to having another breakdown just thinking about being pestered by fellow students for answers to homeworks and other menial stuff, but he still manages to say yes and give her another perfectly practiced smile

when he goes over to the house next to theirs - the ones you moved in to, you had no lasting impression on him

now, don't be mistaken, he does think you're good looking but at the end of the day he'd much rather curl up in bed and sleep

so he puts up that perfectly crafted persona and invites you to head to school with him. a new environment is much easier to deal with when you're not dealing with it by yourself! (or something like that)

he tries not to be overbearing, trying to get you to open up while also making sure he's respecting your boundaries and comfort as you made your way inside the school gates

you don't share the same classes, so he asks you for your time table so he knows your schedule

he hopes he's not being creepy or anything, he's just making sure your first day transferring here goes well

sure he's known for being a caring person in general but he does feel like it's his responsibility to make sure you're doing well you know? you're neighbors now, you guys should get along!

it's smooth sailing until it's time you guys finally went home

like that morning, he waits for you and invites you to walk home with him to familiarize with the shortcuts and local lounging spots for students

all the while he tries to get you to talk about your experience today

it must be due to the amount of stress piled up on his plate that lead him to feel... nervous.

his perfect persona cracking as his calm demeanour and collected way of talking slowly devolved into nervous tangents talking about anything at all

were you displeased? his perfection was practiced and polished since he was a kid, was it still not enough for you?

he could handle disappointing people a lot better now but paired with his currently leaning towards unstable, your displeasure is something that's slowly tearing him from the inside

he's jolted out of his thoughts when you suddenly speak up.

"thanks for showing me around. i thought i was going to struggle getting used to things all by myself."

you smiled up at him. "so... yeah. you're... okay."

his heart thumped.

everywhere all around him feels a ton of degrees warmer.

"...okay." lukas was tongue tied.

on the remainder of the journey back home, he walked you to your house, ensuring you got inside safely before making a beeline towards their house and into his room.

normally at this hour he'd be passed out in bed, tired after a whole day of pretending and smiling. today was perhaps the first time he didn't go to bed with his cheeks hurting and aching from smiling so much.

laying in bed, making an excuse as to why he's not going to be joining for dinner, just thinking about you and your words.

lukas grew up living to the standards of being perfect. a perfect son. a perfect student. a perfect friend.

anything less is... unacceptable to say the least. when you do or think of something so often in your day to day life, it becomes a habit. and lukas' habit is perfection.

but you thought he was okay.

okay.

suddenly 'okay' sounds much better than being perfect.

suddenly your opinion towards him becomes much more important than anyone else's.

lukas is a people pleaser, and onwards from that moment, the only 'people' he will ever want to please is you.

i hope this is sufficient? i'm actually v sleepy rn lol but thank you for the idea!

[cloudiinumaki]

find his love — megumi fushiguro

NOTES ! — not bothered to make an intro post, i don't really have much to say other than just take this and enjoy lol (or don't idk). requests are open ! WARNINGS ! — no warnings! unless you hate me writing in all lowercase, then my bad ...

people sometimes wonder how you can be so happy as megumi's partner. he's quiet, reticent and seems quite cold to most, and so they doubt how possible it is that the two of you have managed to stay so peacefully together. it's much more simple than people make it out to be, honestly. you just pay attention to his actions.

you were never surprised or off-put by the fact that megumi was not one for sprawling, poetic love confessions (almost relieved in fact, it'd become quite tiring…) or for constant physical affection or romantic words. when you'd gotten to know him at first, and found yourself in the unlikely scenario of falling for him, that hadn't been what you were aspiring for. still, it's not as if he's entirely uncaring: he'd be a fool if he weren't to make it clear to you how much he appreciated you. it's just that his love is more of the subtle type than the flashy gestures some are so expectant of.

his love for you is in many quiet things: the way he has to be close to you, even in public, so he settles with standing next to you, his hand not moving away as you subtly brush yours against his. nobara, yuji and gojo are all horrible teases, so admittedly, he isn't very affectionate in public at all, but he still makes sure he's somewhat near— whether that's more for him or you is up in the air.

his love's in how he orders for you from your favourite cafe without hesitation the moment it seems clear that you don't feel like the extra social interaction, quickly rattling off the memorised order so he could return back to you. (and when he returns with your incredibly specific order made just how you like it, don't ask him how he managed to remember all the little details and the two extra pumps of caramel drizzle).

his love's in how after solo missions, if he's not utterly drained or injured, he'll pick up something you like from a shop he passes. it's not something he'll acknowledge for long as he drops the boxed dessert down onto the side table of your room, not wanting to deal with your teasing comments at that and honestly slightly surprised at himself (he swears he wasn't always so obsessed), but he couldn't help but buy it when he remembered how you'd been craving it not too long ago and he had the opportunity right in front of him.

simply put, most of these are silent actions from him, much easier than articulating the feelings that have clung to his heart insistently for so long. it doesn't mean that he won't tell you those three words he knows you've been wanting to hear; but, until he can manage saying them and fully expressing his long-held feelings, he knows that these actions make it easy enough for you to realise anyway.

[martian-astro10]

Random Observation 1

I've noticed that planets in a house, while being important, carry lesser weight than the lord of that house. I'll give an example of my own chart-

I have sun in 11th and I see many observations regarding it, like how they are extroverts, popular, outgoing and stuff like that, and I've never found them to be relatable, but Saturn is the lord of 10th and 11th for me, and I relate much more to the Saturn in 11th interpretation. Not only do I have a hard time making friends I'm also unable to maintain those friendships, i have a tendency to ghost people, I don't even know why I do that, being around people just drains my energy. I've changed 10 schools, you would expect me to have a lot of friends, but I just have one close friend, I do have a lot of acquaintances but I don't really LIKE them, yk?? I just hang out with them because that is what's required of me, expected of me.

I also have mars, rahu and Venus in 1st house in Aries, but because my 1st lord is mars, my personality I feel, is more martian than venusian. I've always been a very angry child, stubborn, argumentative, always annoyed and irritated, but also the first one to take initiative, be adventurous, willing to try new things, be competitive and I'm confident in my abilities. I have my weaknesses and strengths.

Venus is my 2nd and 7th lord and I feel like I've always related to Venus in 2nd and 7th house. I get attached to money very easily. I remember when I was in 12th, my mom hired a maths tutor cuz I was super bad at it, like in my preboards I got 5/80, and then he would come to my house, he was a good teacher, then my mom told me that she was paying him 3,000 rupees and hour and I literally started crying and I was like "how could you waste this much money, what's wrong with you, I'm such a stupid child, I'm sorry that you have to waste your hard earned money on a child like me" my mom was confused AS FUCK, and then I told my mom to tell him to stop coming, and I taught myself, watched youtube videos, worked my ass off and got 75/80 in boards...yeah. I hate wasting money, it hurts, it's actually painful for me. Also, I love attractive people, I feel like everyone does, but physical appearance is important to me, I can't be in a relationship with someone who I'm not physically/ sexually attracted to.

So...I think that the lord of a house is how you interact with the themes of that particular house. It's just something I've observed and it's okay if you don't agree or relate.

[jinnie-ret]

Hi! I was just wondering, could you write a oneshot of reader feeling really tired/kinda depressed, like too tired to get up of the bed to get a drink, too tired to even talk and skz just helping them through it and taking care of them? It could be 9th member or just the groupd friend. It's ok if you don't want to or don't feel comfortable with it. Thank you! Lots of love!

slump

stray kids x best friend!reader

genre: angst, fluff

content warnings: mental exhaustion

word count: 1.3k

summary: your best friends notice you've been acting different recently, and help you through your mental rut.

Thank you so much for requesting! I hope you enjoy this one. And if anyone is ever feeling this way, you can always message me, or reach out for help :)

Asks are shut, but if you want to be added to my taglist, let me know! And reblog and like if you enjoyed! <3

MAIN MASTERLIST

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Love, can you open the door?" Changbin's soft voice called out quietly, yet you made no effort to move. You knew he could just as easily open your door and walk in, but he was waiting to see if you had the energy to do it yourself.

"I'll take that as a no," and he walked away from the door, probably back into the kitchen to inform the boys that their latest attempt didn't work.

It wasn't that you didn't want to see them. It was more that your social battery was drained. Not even a good night's sleep was helping you gain energy because, well, although you weren't having sleepless nights, there was still a lot of things weighing on your mind that was stopping you from wanting to do anything.

Buzz.

Oh. They were spamming the group chat again.

kangaroo🖤: remember to have something to eat!

bokkie🐲: pls eat smthn sweaty 💞

prince🖌️: lixie you did not jst call her sweaty that isn't gnna help 😭

mongmong🎤: ignore them sweetie just pls eat smthn if you have the energy yh?

cheese toastie🦊: our minnie is so sweet

quokka boy🥊: careful or he will chnge his mind 👀

kitty boy😼: i'm cooking u dinner rn

dwaekki💪: pls come out and see us love :(

And so the guilt set in once more. You could tell they were doing their best but for the past couple of days you didn't want to do anything at all. And whilst they had asked you, you shut them down every time and waved them off.

The next day, you were due to go into work, something your best friends were well aware of as they had checked your shared calender to see if there was anything upcoming that was overwhelming you.

When you rang into work to call in for a sick day, that was the first time the boys heard your voice in like 48 hours. Croaky. Dry. Exhausted.

Which is what prompted your next visit.

"Hey, Y/Nnie, I've brought you some water. You don't have to talk to us if you don't want to... but, yeah," Felix brought in a bottle filled with ice water and you could tell he didn't know what exactly to do in the situation without you responding to him.

You couldn't help but feel the gratitude within you after he awkwardly smiled at you, and so, you spoke up from your nest in bed.

"Thank you, Lixie."

Within a flash he turned around and grinned warmly at you, excited at just this simple interaction, because him and the boys had been worried sick the past few days. They knew everyone had their moments, but they had never seen you like this before.

After he left, you sipped at your water and continued to mindlessly scroll through your social media feed on your phone. There was still a numbness there. You recognised videos that would normally make you laugh yet no emotion filled you.

And that's what made you feel weirder.

You thought about other times people went into some sort of slump and they'd normally be sad, upset for some reason. But no, not you.

You felt emotionless. The loneliness wasn't what sucked you in yet it was like a part of your brain felt like it had shut off. And that lasted for the next few hours until the members caught you out of bed looking for something in the cupboard to eat.

"Oh, Y/N!" Han jumped back with a hand on his heart, yet you carried on in your sluggish efforts to make something to eat.

"You're out of bed?" Jeongin was shocked until he winced from the small slap on the back of his head from Changbin.

"Don't eat that, it's not good for you, here, heat this up," Lee Know took away the instant noodles from your grasp and instead pulled out a container with a portion of dinner he had made last night. He seemed to be taking control yet he wanted to see you do something for yourself. He hoped it was motivating and that the simplest thing of heating up your own food would lead you towards an upward trajectory of going back to your usual self.

You slowly padded across the kitchen to the microwave and shoved the food in, a gentle hand tapping you on the shoulder as you shut the machine's door.

"Let's talk, Y/N," Chan guided you to the sofa in the lounge connected to the kitchen, the rest of your friends following through. There was no choice in the matter, yet the eldest remained calm which reassured you slightly.

"We've been worried about you," Hyunjin spoke for everyone when he said that.

"Sorry," you whisper, picking at the threads of your baggy jumper sleeve.

"No, don't apologise. We just want to know what's going on in that head of yours," Seungmin leans forward as he speaks quietly.

You simply shrug.

"Y/Nnie?" Chan further prompted.

"I don't know," you shrugged again, not even knowing how to explain what was going on.

"You don't know?" Felix looked around at the other members, confused.

Just then, the microwave dinged, and you stood up to go and get your food, but Lee Know's hands on your shoulders stopped you.

"Don't worry about that now. Just talk to us, anything," his thumbs rubbed soothing circles before he moved away.

"I-I don't know what you want me to say," you brought your legs up to your chest.

"We know you had work today," Changbin mentioned.

"It's ok, I called in sick," you mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

"Do you have a temperature?" Han frowned, feeling your forehead but that answered his question.

"I just didn't feel like it... but not in like a lazy way but I just couldn't... mentally do it?" your answer came out as a rushed question, not even sure yourself but it made sense to the rest of the boys.

"Ah, sweetie, you should have said," Hyunjin pouted, feeling bad that you were struggling.

"Not that easy though, is it?" you looked up and saw Chan crouched down in front of you.

"It's not, we know that, but we want you to always know that you've got us to fall back on, no matter what, ok?" he grabbed your hands as he said this, squeezing them so that you knew he was physically there.

"Y/Nnie... you know you don't have to always have energy, right? It's ok to have your down days," Han said seriously, which even caused Chan to look at him surprisingly as he moved away from in front of you.

"I feel like..." you began, but trailed off shaking your head.

"Tell us, talk to us love," Changbin insisted.

"I feel like I have to keep telling myself I can do it, but I know I'm lying to myself, I guess?" you sighed, leaning further back into the sofa.

"You can do it, we all know you can," Jeongin encouraged you sweetly.

"But if you can't right now, that's also fine," Seungmin added on.

And there was no need for you to verbally respond, because these safety oozing from them was wrapping you in a nice comfy blanket.

Oh, and Felix was also wrapping you in a blanket, that could have been why you felt the sudden warmth.

"Right, now you can eat," Lee Know nodded, satisfied with how the conversation had played out.

"Me too, hyung!" Han and Hyunjin both dashed after Lee Know, begging him for food too, and with that you smiled.

"There you are," Changbin titled your head up as you smiled, his face mirroring yours.

"If all it took was for Han and Hyunjin to be whiny and complain, we could have had this conversation a lot sooner," Seungmin rolled his eyes fondly, thinking of the two 00 liners who were bickering earlier that day.

"Don't ruin the moment Seungmin," Chan tutted jokingly.

But it didn't ruin the moment. Seeing them act normally around you again after they had cleared up what was going on made you feel better.

You felt, once again.

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @backintomykpopphaseagain @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z

[nerdyqueerandjewish]

7 Types of Rest

I've been reading a bit about this and jotting down some notes because the framework is helpful for communicating my different kinds of exhausted and gives me ideas on how to help myself more, and idk I thought I would share because I think other people might find it useful or interesting. I don't have just one article on it to recommend because unfortunately they are almost all trying to sell you their telehealth services or a meditation app or whatever.

**Disclaimer that resting isn't going to fix everything, examples of things to do aren't going to be accessible to everyone, they are just meant to be a start to brain storming, this is not medical advice etc...**

Physical - Relates to activities that are physically restorative

Mental - Relates to taking a break from mental stimulation

Spiritual - Relates to the fundamental need for belonging, purpose and acceptance

Emotional - Relates to being able to experience and express your real and authentic feelings

Sensory - Relates to giving your senses a break from stimulation

Social - Relates to feeling energized by spending time with people who contribute to your life in positive, supportive, and meaningful ways

Creative - Relates to appreciating beauty or feeling awe/wonder

Notes I made for "signs you need x type of rest" and actually getting that type of rest are under the cut. Again, they are personal so take them with a grain of salt. Also some of my notes on things I could do would definitely apply to others. I didn't want to keep writing "go outside" and "journal" for over half of them lol.

Physical Rest

Signs you may need physical rest

Feeling fatigued, body aches and pains

Feeling mentally sluggish or foggy

Getting some relief

Prioritize getting good quality sleep

Go on walks or engage in other gentle physical activity

Stretch throughout the day

Getting a massage (maybe trade with a friend or partner?)

Improve the ergonomics of your workspace

Mental Rest

Signs you may need mental rest

Unable to concentrate or recall simple things

Unable to relax

Racing thoughts

Getting some relief

Schedule breaks throughout the day

Write things down (can help racing thoughts or things you're worried about forgetting)

Do a satisfying activity that doesn't require much thought (example: coloring pages, simple craft)

Spiritual Rest

Signs you may need spiritual rest

Feeling lack of purpose or belonging

Getting some relief

Get involved in local community

volunteer

pray or meditate

Emotional Rest

Signs you may need emotional rest

Feeling weighed down

Stifling/suppressing feelings

Strong need to please others

Getting some relief

Talk to someone who allows you to be your authentic self

Participating in a peer support group

Journaling

Sensory Rest

Signs you may need sensory rest

Feeling energized at the start of the day, but becoming more irritable as the day progresses

Getting distracted by noises other people seem to be able to tune out

Getting some relief

Use dimmable lighting or lamps

Regularly set notifications to do not disturb

Use power strips to easily turn off multiple appliances at once

Avoid running loud appliances during busy parts of the day (ex. if washing machine is loud, don't run it while you're trying to pack and get out the door on time)

Social Rest

Signs you may need social rest

Feeling drained, exhausted

Feeling like your only interactions are with people who want/need something from you

Getting some relief

Nurture life-affirming, meaningful relationships

Make time for socializing with friends who don't "need" anything from you, where you can just enjoy each other's company

If you know you will be interacting with someone you find draining, make a plan to engage in social rest after

Creative Rest

Signs you may need creative rest

Feeling "blah"

Struggling with problem solving or brainstorming

Getting some relief

Go out in nature

Spend time in inviting spaces

Listen to music

Watch a skilled performer

Display items you find visually appealing in both home and work spaces

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Let’s get it on

Pairing: Lucien Flores x afab!reader x Frankie Morales

Words count: 12779 💀 (I humbly apologize, please don’t hate me)

Rating: +18, absolutely NSFW, please if you’re a minor don’t interact.

Tags/Warnings: POV second person, no use of y/n, reader wears a skirt, has breast and vagina, other than that no other description is given and I made sure she doesn’t blush, she has hair but it is not described what it is like and no one runs their hand through it, unprotected p in v (it's fiction, no one gets pregnant or gets infections in this world, please use protection in real life), unprotected anal, oral (everyone receiving it LOL), spit roast, a little bit of choking (very lightly), spanking, manhandling, rough sex, masturbation, dirty talk, use of “daddy” once, mention of anxiety, mention of cheating, brief Santiago appearance, angst, fluff, Lucien, reader and Frankie are bi af ❤️, pet names (baby, kitten, good boy, princess), soft!dom Frankie, sub!Lucien, everyone is horny af, reader is basically a menace along with the guys, alcohol consumption, cum eating, cream pie, a lot of nipple play just because I love it (don’t look at me like that, boobs are gorgeous ❤️), Frankie is PEK but also a boobs man in this because I said so, frottage, pussy pronouns, balls sucking, Lucien's chain (only one, sorry) makes a series of glorious appearances *wink*…listen, I don't know what other kind of smutty things I wrote anymore, If I notice something is missing I will add it right away.

This was written for @baronessvonglitter’s Fuck-tober challenge , thank you so much for the opportunity and happy birthday again 🩷 She assigned me Lucien and the song Let's get it on by Marvin Gaye, I had a blast! And it drained me, but that was only my fault because I couldn't stop writing LOL Sorry if I've been more of a pain in the ass with this, I promise I'm done. It’s the very first challenge I’ve participated and it’s also my very first Lucien fic, I’m so nervous about it💀

As usual, English is not my first language so please be patient with me, no beta and no proofreading, I reread it a couple of times today too and I hope there are no mistakes, please forgive me if you find any.

I really hope you’ll like it!

Lucien: hey baby, long time no see, how you doing?

You: I was alright before this text came

Lucien: I know you miss me and you know that too.

You: Not even a little bit.

Lucien: baby… I’m sorry. Can we meet? Please?

You: and why on earth should I do this?

Lucien: I just want to give you back something that you left at my place.

You: fuck, okay, just one time, in a public place and don’t you dare to have expectations.

Lucien: come on, deep down you still love me.

You: sure, so deep down that I can't find it

Lucien: cruel woman. Shall we meet at the usual bar at 9?

You: I’m not the one who cheated, asshole. Fuck, ok. See you there.

You put down your phone letting out a sigh, cursing yourself for accepting to see him.

Lucien. Your ex. The unreliable man that broke your heart.

——————————

You entered the bar looking for him, scanning the place and seeing few people at the tables drinking and chatting.

He was sitting at the bar counter, rolling a bottle of beer between his fingers, staring intently ahead.

The bartender was with his back to him loading a dishwasher.

You watched him from a distance, he hadn’t changed much since the last time you saw him.

He was wearing one of his colorful shirts that he wore all the time, even when you went to your mom’s for lunch on Sundays and she obviously never failed to point it out to you “Can't he just wear a normal shirt for once?”.

You didn’t know what to do about it, Lucien has always been a stubborn guy and anyway, despite what your mother said, they suited him well.

Light wash jeans hugged his legs, his hair was a little longer but as messy as you'd always seen it, and a short beard covered his cheeks and jawline leaving some patches.

You had always liked his aquiline nose, the way you felt it press against your cheek as you kissed, and even more the way it rubbed against your clit as Lucien moved down between your thighs.

You shook your head.

“This is only going to bring me trouble” you thought as you approached “well, fuck, maybe I’ll even get a decent apology” you rolled your eyes as a whiff of his perfume reached you, a perfume that you had given him before he left you and that had caused you to have one of the worst fight in history that lead into a very painful break up. It was persistent, woody, with a very fresh citrus note, quite unmistakable.

You still remember the day you entered your friend’s house and you distinctly smelled that perfume in her living room. That day you had discovered that Lucien had been cheating on you. And to add insult to injury, as soon as he had heard you enter he had hidden behind a cabinet in the kitchen like a complete idiot. It took you 30 seconds to find him. You were already suspicious seeing your friend’s messed up hair and smeared lipstick, you had asked her if she was with someone and she had replied that no, absolutely not, she was taking a nap. But you knew her well, she had never taken naps, especially in the afternoon, she was a hyperactive person who needed to keep herself busy all the time. Apparently she had found a way to do it by fucking your boyfriend.

“Hey” you nodded at him, without trying too hard. Seeing his face again was already enough to bear with.

He turned and greeted you with a smile “Hey babe” UGH. You couldn’t stand that casual innocent smile on his face.

“Lucien, if you call me babe one more time I swear I'm leaving”

He pouted, putting those puppy eyes on you that you once liked so much and now only made you angry.

“Okay, I’m going to behave, I promise. Would you just…sit down?”

You huffed “okay, just for a moment”

This bar was another place you never went back to after you broke up, you often came there together after work to have a beer and meet friends.

It was a nice bar, actually, but you had given up and now you were meeting your friends on the other side of town.

The counter was made of dark wood, as were the stools, and some industrial-design lamps hung over it, enveloping the place in a relaxed and soft atmosphere.

Frankie, the owner, was former US special forces pilot, as soon as he turned around and saw you he greeted you like an old friend “Hey beautiful, how are you?”

“I’m good Frankie, thanks, can I have a beer?”

“Blanche on tap as always?” He still remembered your usual order, which put you in a good mood despite the presence of that asshole of your ex.

“That would be wonderful, thanks” You looked at him with eyes full of gratitude.

Frankie must have understood the reason why you hadn’t come anymore and he must also have understood how little you wanted to be there at that moment.

Lucien was silent and watched you interact, you could feel his gaze still on you.

Frankie moved to pour your beer and you resigned yourself to turning to him.

“So, let me get this straight, what the hell do you want exactly?” you asked him with a serious look.

“I wanted to give you that” he replied by putting a hand in his pocket and taking out a ring you were hoping to see again.

“Oh good, finally you did something right” It was a ring that your grandmother had given you and that you cared about a lot because it was one of the few memories you had left of her. This was the measure of how little you wanted to see Lucien again, you had even given up on it.

Deep down you knew, or at least you hoped, that Lucien wouldn't get rid of it.

If he had pulled another nasty thing to you could have redone the side of his car with a key or something. He would have deserved it and wouldn't even have had right to complain.

What bothered you the most about the whole thing was that he had done everything behind your back, if he had spoken honestly to you and told you that he wanted an open relationship or if he had confessed that he wanted to leave you you would have accepted it more easily.

“I was sure you would be happy to have it back” he smiled

You had looked at him askance and replied “well then you could have done it sooner”

“I thought it was better to let some time pass” he had shrugged at which you had sighed because he wasn’t entirely wrong but you had replied peeved anyway “Six months?!”

Lucien didn't know what to say, he just stammered "s-sorry" and looked down at his legs stretched out on the stool.

You growled and rolled your eyes again, he was impossible. “I don’t think I can expect much from you though so it’s okay”

Frankie put the beer down in front of you and smiled sweetly, “here you go, I missed you by the way”

“I missed you and this place a lot too” and took a long drink, feeling the beer slide cool on your tongue.

You could see Lucien out of the corner of your eye and he was smiling, he always told you that you drink beer like no other girl which he thought was a compliment… a really poor one actually, but for some reason you liked him saying that. You were probably blinded by love, because you were really in love with him once and there was no denying that having sex with him was amazing, he always knew how to push the right buttons and make you feel incredibly sexy in his arms. Not to mention the fact that he made you squirt and that had never happened to you before.

His kisses, the way he touched you, how he knew how to use his hands on you, his amazing cock, the scent of his skin, everything about him drove you crazy.

As much as you hated to admit it, you missed him. Just for the bed part.

“What’s that pretty little head of yours thinking?” Lucien ventured, giving you a crooked smile.

You stared at the bubbles of your beer rise up the rim of the glass and get lost in the foam.

“What a shitty boyfriend you were, if you really want to know”

And how wet you made me, but you would never have told him that.

Lucien took a sip of his beer, shifted on his stool and replied, “I know. I’m sorry.”

You hummed contentedly as you took some peanuts from the small bowl Frankie had placed in front of you along with your beer. It wasn’t such a bad thing to hear him admit his flaws after all, better late than never.

“I know I was terrible to you and I don't know how you put up with me for so long,” his voice sounded strangely sincere, as if he had actually thought about what he had done wrong.

“Well, that's not bad to hear. Thank you very much” you granted him a smile, even if he didn’t deserve it.

Lucien's eyes lit up "it's nice to see you smile, finally"

You were losing it, just a little. “No no no. I won’t fall into this again.” You thought, “I won’t let it happen.”

“We’re not okay, though” you added “don't get any strange ideas”

“Of course” he smirked “Are you dating someone?”

“Actually yes,” you replied right away “a good guy.”

“Oh. And what’s his name?”

“Simon”

He chuckled, shaking his head

“What?!” you asked him, widening your eyes, “what are you laughing so much about?”

It was unbelievable how Lucien could go from melting your heart to irritating you in a matter of seconds.

“You can't be okay with someone named Simon”

“Why not?!” You frowned, looking at him, waiting for the most stupid answer ever

“Because it sounds like an accountant's name. Or that little Chipmunk guy's name. I can't believe you're happy with him”

“I am.” you replied, offended, “he’s very good. And anyway it’s none of your business”

Simon was simply the first name that came to your mind, there was no boyfriend, you just wanted to keep him from knowing you were still alone.

“So tell me,” Lucien asked, coming closer to your ear, “does he make you come like I did? I remember how you moaned while I fucked you”

You felt a jolt down your spine as his words kept reverberating in your ear and inside your brain and then you hurried to answer “Of course he does”

Lucien’s mouth curved into a mischievous smile “I don’t believe you”

Best fuck of your life but still an asshole.

“You cheated, Lucien, so you lost every chance you get over me, shut the fuck up already” you snapped, almost on the verge of tears.

You held back with all your strength to not give him the satisfaction.

Frankie turned to you immediately “Hey, it’s all good? Should I kick his ass out?” He asked looking grimly at Lucien.

“Thank you Frankie, there’s no need, I’m going home”

You took your wallet out of your bag to pay but Frankie waved his hand in the air “no way, it's on the house”

“Well, thank you then. I hope to see you soon, without this asshole around” you squinted at Lucien who seemed finally mortified.

Being with him was like riding a roller coaster, it was fun and breathtaking and then in an instant there would be a downhill slope and everything would go to hell.

You rushed out after saying hello to Frankie again and completely ignoring your ex.

Lucien followed you after leaving some money on the counter under Frankie’s stern gaze.

He grabbed your wrist and you glared at him “I know, okay, I’m an asshole, I didn't want to make you suffer! I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I’m sorry about everything”

“Well you could have not acted like an idiot in the first place. We’re done, Lucien, let go off my wrist” you didn't even raise your voice, you used a coldness that surprised you.

You turned and walked away without even listening to him anymore.

You were tired, so damn tired. You just needed to go home.

_____________________

It had been a horrible day at work, your boss had loaded you with deadlines and you had left the office after 2 hours of overtime with your head exploding. On your way home you thought that after a day like that you really deserved a beer and without thinking twice, instead of going home, you headed to Frankie's bar.

It was Friday night, after all.

You entered the bar, pushing your way through the crowd to reach the counter. The place was full and Frankie was busy.

As soon as he saw you, his eyes lit up under the cap he never took off and he smiled at you “It’s so nice to see you again!”

You smiled back thinking how stupid you were tm so never have noticed how cute Frankie was before.

He placed a beer and a small bowl of peanuts in front of you without you having to ask.

“Frankie, you’re my savior” you told him, noticing his beautiful brown eyes, his strong nose just like you loved in a man, his lips and jawline made to be kissed.

He was gorgeous.

“Don’t mention it, knowing what others want is my job after all” his mouth curved into a soft smile and you felt something, like a little fire that was ignited inside you.

You sat there exchanging jokes with him between one cocktail and another that he prepared.

He was funny and kind and you loved spending time with him.

When the place had started to empty a little, it was already 1am, Frankie had poured himself some whiskey and leaned against the bar counter in front of you.

He looked tired too.

“The bar is really doing well, isn't it?” you said “you should hire someone to help you”

He smiled “Santiago took a share, he'll help me from next week. You remember him, right?”

You nodded. You had met Santi one evening when you were there with your friends. He was a nice guy, a former special forces agent just like Frankie.

“Great!”

“Listen…” Frankie hesitated for a moment “I don’t want to sound cheeky but… would you like to go out sometime?”

You looked at him, saw his hopeful look, and agreed. He was too handsome to say no.

You both smiled and you ended up helping him set up the bar while the jukebox played old rock songs.

You felt at ease with Frankie, the horrible day you had just had no longer mattered.

When the last chair had been turned upside down on the tables and the floor had been cleaned, you went out into the back alley to throw out the garbage.

“What do you say about Monday? It's my day off,” Frankie suggested.

“I think it’s perfect”

Frankie’s gaze lingered on you, making you hot and bothered.

You had moved closer to him, just an inch from his face and you had placed a hand on his broad chest, letting it slide slowly over his shirt “I don't want to seem cheeky but… could I kiss you?” you asked him raising your chin and watching him through your lashes.

Frankie chuckled “Hey. You're good, miss. Sure you can.”

As soon as you put your lips on his you felt it, a rush of adrenaline that went through your entire body. That dark alley wasn't exactly the most romantic place in the world but when you kissed him it seemed special. Frankie returned your kiss on the lips a couple of times, as if he was respectfully trying to understand how far he could go.

You pulled him by his shirt to bring him closer to you and deepened the kiss.

Your tongue caressed his lips and he didn't have to be asked twice, he let you in immediately and wrapped his arms around your waist.

Frankie was different from Lucien's, your ex was greedy and impatient, it almost seemed like he was in a hurry while kissing you.

Frankie took his time, tasted you like a ripe fruit, licked inside your mouth expertly, knew exactly what dance he wanted to involve your tongue in, tenderly nibbled your lower lip.

You felt your knees buckle, as his hands slowly moved towards your ass, you placed yours on his to invite him, to give him silent consent, and you moaned into his mouth when his big hands squeezed your ass cheeks.

You pushed him against the wall, sliding a hand between you and touching his erection over his jeans.

Frankie chuckled, his voice hoarse “hey, someone’s hungry”

“I haven’t eaten,” you replied, pouting and then bursting into laughter. Frankie pulled you back into his embrace, kissing you again, trailing down your jaw and then your neck.

You moaned again.

“Well, you should eat something. There’s a place around here, they make amazing tacos, how about that?”

“I prefer to eat you” you replied mischievously, fumbling with his belt, Frankie looked at you in ecstasy. You took his cock in your mouth right there in that alley, dirtying your knees on the asphalt without caring. He was big, about the same size as Lucien, it pulsated deliciously on your tongue and you greedily swallowed every drop of his cum.

You started dating that same Monday, he took you out to dinner and you ended the night at his house where Frankie served you three orgasms with his mouth.

It had been unbelievable, Lucien was good at it but Frankie put a special dedication into licking you like he was pussy drunk and determined to giving you the best experience you could have had.

That evening, held in his arms, your face resting on his chest, you felt completely satisfied after a long time.

______________

You hadn't heard from Lucien for three months, you and Frankie were dated regularly and you really liked how your story was going. One day he took you flying in a helicopter. Seeing him focused, capable, totally immersed in his element made you so excited that as soon as you got off the ground you fucked him in his car, in the parking lot, with the risk that someone would catch you in the act.

He was a fantastic man, passionate, attentive and caring.

You had forgiven Lucien after all, if he hadn't asked you to see each other, your story with Frankie would never have started.

You often went to Frankie's bar after work, sat down for a drink and chatted with him and Santi, who in the meantime had started working there.

One evening while you were laughing together Lucien came in. You muttered an “oh no” under your breath looking at Frankie who immediately put a hand on top of yours resting on the counter and squeezed it as if to tell you to stay calm.

Santi exclaimed “Hey! What are you doing here?!”

You and Frankie simultaneously turned to him with wide eyes “do you know him?”

And Santi laughed and shrugged answering “of course! He’s my cousin!”

Lucien was as surprised as you were to see you all there together.

You had never met Lucien’s cousins, he had barely introduced you to his mother and only because she had insisted. He had always been elusive, you should have known from the beginning how it would end between you.

You certainly didn't want an official engagement either, anyway.

“Why the hell are you here, cousin?” Lucien said scratching his head.

“I work here, idiot, I even told you last week at your mom’s lunch but I’m not surprised you didn’t listen.”

You giggled at Santi’s reprimand, looking at Frankie and squeezing his hand tighter. You were so glad to be with an uncomplicated man like him.

Frankie promised you something and did it, he made a date with you and showed up on time, he showered you with attention and always thought of your pleasure before his own.

“Sit down, I'll pour you a beer” Santi said and moved to the tap.

Silence fell between the three of you, until Lucien broke it by noticing the way you were caressing Frankie's hand, making small concentric circles with your thumb on the back of his hand.

”So he’s your new boyfriend? Wasn’t his name Simon?”

“It didn’t work with Simon, Frankie is much better anyway,��� you looked at him tenderly and his eyes returned yours with a sparkle under the peak of his cap.

“I’m glad,” Lucien simply said, looking at Frankie and then at you. Maybe he had finally learned to behave in a civil manner.

Santi placed a beer in front of his cousin and asked “so do you like this place?”

“Sure, I've been coming here long before you started working there. She and I used to come together all the time.”

Santi finally understood your triangle. “But you…” he said pointing to you “and him” pointing to Frankie and you nodded “but before you were with him… ok I understand”

Lucien laughed “it’s not that weird, you know”

And you thought that no, it actually wasn't, because of the state of mind you were in. You were very calm, finally, and Lucien's presence didn't bother you at all.

You spent the evening together, while Santi and Frankie served cocktails, chatting and laughing.

At the end of the evening you insisted on staying to help clean up despite Frankie and Santi's protests, so Lucien also felt compelled to volunteer.

“You'll finally do something useful, cousin.” Santiago said and you all laughed, including Lucien.

You and Frankie went home around 2am, while you were thinking about how tired you were he pushed you on his bed, his eyes locked on yours as he stripped you of your jeans and panties and spread your legs.

You just can’t resist when Frankie’s eyes darken in that particular way, as if he felt the intrinsic need to make you come. That night you also read something else in his gaze, the need to claim you as his.

“You really have the most beautiful cunt I've ever seen, do you know that darling? Who does this pussy belong to? hm?”

“It's yours” you managed to say as you took off his trusted baseball cap throwing it on the floor “it’s all yours”

He drowned in your pussy, coating your folds in his saliva, his tongue frantically moving up and down and his fingers teasing your entrance. He nuzzled at your clit, making you squirm with the tip of his nose bumping into your harden bud again and again.

You raised your gaze so as not to miss a single movement of his tongue and his hungry lips that were drinking from your most intimate part.

“Fuck, you’re so good at doing it, Frankie, oh my god” you whined, lacing your fingers with his soft raven curls, he smirked against your skin and kept licking you until you were an incoherent hot mess just babbling his and god name in a blissful state.

“I need you” you pleaded “please Frankie, give me your cock”

He lifted himself up to your mouth and kissed you, letting you taste your essence from his lips while with one hand he spread your lips and his tip began to push inside you.

“Fuck, you’re drenched” and you nodded completely incapable of putting together a meaningful sentence.

He filled you up, accompanying the last thrust with a groan, and waited just long enough for you to get used to his intrusion before starting to pump in and out of you with a steady pace.

Sex with Frankie was nurturing in a way that surprised you, he really took care of you, making you feel safe every step of the way, every thrust into you like a kiss on your cervix and a caress to your soul, you never experienced something so endearing before.

He really was the perfect partner and you’re never felt so lucky in your life.

———————————————

Three more months passed since the first evening spent with Frankie, Lucien and Santi at the bar and it became an habit almost every weekend, Lucien showing up late, you making fun of him and generally having a great time together chatting and laughing. Sometimes you invited some friends and one of them ended up having a huge crush on Santi.

You were happy to see them exchanging languid glances and withdrawing from you to chat alone. Claire, your best friend, confessed to you that she was crazy about Santi after almost a month and you were not at all surprised.

“I’ve noticed the way you two look at each other for a while now,” you laughed “it’s time you decided to go out alone.”

“Oh, we will, next Monday.”

You hugged her chirping “I’m so glad for you dear, you truly deserve the best! And Santiago is such a great guy!”

“I know!” She smiled “he’s so sweet and kind and such a menace sometimes, I just fell head over heels without even realizing it”

That was perfect, you with Frankie and your best friend with Frankie’s best friend, like every rom com that you loved rewatching for comfort at which Frankie laughed so hard at.

You couldn't wait to tell him that sometimes it really happened.

——————————

You were tidying up as usual, listening to music from the jukebox. It was two in the morning on a Friday like any other, since you were with Frankie your hours of sleep had decreased a bit but sleeping in his arms guaranteed you a deeper, more peaceful rest.

You and Frankie had celebrated your first six months together with a dinner earlier that week followed by two hours of intense, animalistic, intoxicating sex.

Lucien had seen you fall more and more in love, he had seen the way you looked at him, how you always sought physical contact, even if it was just intertwining your fingers with his, it was obvious that Frankie made you happy.

You would have been lying to yourself if you said you didn't feel anything for him anymore but Lucien made you lose the ground under your feet.

You needed someone stable, Frankie was your rock while Lucien was a dizzying amount of a person.

You were taking out a bag of garbage when you heard noises in the alley and low voices.

You looked out the back door curiously and saw Frankie and Lucien talking in the shadows. You stood still behind the half-closed door trying to listen. They hadn’t noticed you.

“We should tell her,” Frankie said and Lucien replied, “not now, please, she would never forgive me.”

“Lu, I love her, do you understand? I don’t want to hurt her.”

Lucien nodded “I know Frankie, you think I don’t care about her? But if we tell her now she’ll think it’s my fault, please. We’ll find a way, I promise”

Lucien rested his hands on Frankie’s forearms, caressing him and bringing his hands to his, clenched into fists along his sides “come on, don’t do that”

You were paralyzed. What was it that they couldn’t tell you? And why did Frankie and Lucien seem so close when in front of you they just acted cordially and threw each other the occasional barb?

You thought they were united by their affection for you and Santiago and tolerated each other for your sake but at that moment you weren't sure anymore.

Your blood froze in your veins when you saw Lucien approach Frankie and kiss him.

It was something you never thought you’d see in your life and most of all you never thought Frankie would do something like that behind your back. “Stop it Lu. I told you, I won’t do anything until we tell her. Kissing the other day was a mistake, I can’t forgive myself for that” he pushed Lucien away “and how can you think of doing it again? Have some respect for her and for yourself”

You couldn't see Frankie's gaze in the dim light but you knew it was similar to the first time he realized Lucien had cheated on you. You were relieved, Frankie hadn't given in, hadn't made the same mistake, because he knew how you felt.

Lucien blurted out “Look, I love her too, I don't want to be an asshole again but you also know how I feel about you. And I know you feel the same, idiot. Don't try to put all the blame on me, there are two sides to every ditch and I didn’t dig alone. Your lips were on mine the other day and I felt your hard cock okay?!”

Lucien had a desperate tone that you had only heard him use when he had tried to apologize to you months before.

You were speechless. If you had to be honest with yourself, you had noticed certain looks but you had never interpreted them.

Frankie pushed Lucien by the shoulders pinning him against the wall “Listen to me, idiot. You were the one who kissed me first. It’s incredible that you don’t even know how to take responsibility for yourself.” Lucien’s feet barely touched the ground from the way your boyfriend was slamming him into the bricks of the wall. “You may have been the first man who made me hard but that’s it and you know why? You will never ruin what I have with the best girl I’ve ever met. I want her to be part of this. Either that or we do nothing.”

He had moved away from Lucien to go back inside, you quickly left the garbage in the closet so you wouldn’t get caught, you would throw it out later with an excuse.

You walked over to the bar and poured yourself a shot of whiskey, downing it in one gulp. “Hey, where were you?” Santi asked as he came back through the front door. He had gone out to take Claire to get a taxi.

“I went to the bathroom,” you lied, and Santi raised an eyebrow, looking at you with concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I'm fine, don't worry.”

You put the glass in the dishwasher and loaded it, mulling it over in your head as Santi talked about how great the night had been. He counted the takings sitting at the counter while the jukebox played Bruce Springsteen's Hungry Hearts.

You had always known that Lucien was bisexual, you were too. You had a girlfriend for a couple years in college and it had been a great relationship.

It must have been the first time it happened to him, you couldn't think of any other explanation.

“I want her to be a part of this” Frankie’s words were still ringing into your head.

You giggled unknowingly at the thought of Frankie being excited for another man, it was… sexy.

“Hey!” Santi snapped his fingers in front of your eyes “are you still here with us?”

“Yes” you quickly answered.

Santi chuckled “what was that little smile for?”

“Oh nothing, I was thinking about Frankie” it wasn’t entirely a lie, you were thinking about him. And Lucien. And the three of you together. It intrigued you more than you were willing to admit.

“You two lovebirds are so cute” Santi mocked you and you didn’t mind at all.

Frankie came back followed by Lucien “Are you ready to go home, baby?”

“Yes, I’ll take this to the closet and I’m ready” You lifted the first case you saw behind the counter hoping that it actually belonged there.

“Let me do it” Frankie suggested but you immediately replied “no love, I can do it, don’t worry, I’ll be right back” you smiled and gave him a kiss and then you headed towards the closet.

You picked up the garbage you had left there and went out into the alley to throw it away. You took a long sigh, feeling your cheeks hot as you thought back to the scene you had seen. You didn’t know what would happen but you had faith in Frankie, he would fix everything.

You went back inside. Lucien sat silently in the corner, looking back and forth between you and Frankie, and now you could see longing in his eyes. He looked at Frankie almost as you did.

Your heart fluttered.

————————————————-

After two days of silence you were ready to snap at Frankie. Why the hell didn't he tell you the truth? You could see his gaze drop every time you mentioned Lucien in a conversation and you knew he had the speech he wanted to give you on the tip of his tongue.

You were pissed, but you tried to stay calm.

You couldn't believe Frankie wasn't being honest with you about this when he had talked to you about much more serious things, opening up to you with simplicity. He had told you about his previous job, about the anxiety attacks it had left him with.

He had been in therapy for years and dropped out because of this.

Santiago was the person who helped him face reality, he never abandoned him and Frankie said he owed him his life. The reason he opened the bar was because they had always talked about it “we’re going to open a bar and we won’t have to deal with this shit anymore”. They had always said that and it had become a kind of mantra that had kept Frankie afloat every time he thought he was sinking into anxiety.

He was a new person now and you were lucky enough to find him.

You didn't want to lose him and you certainly wouldn't have tolerated it happening because of Lucien.

You wanted so badly to trust that Frankie would tell you about it sooner or later.

And then there was something else and you knew it was wrong but you couldn’t get the way he had pushed Lucien against the wall out of your head.

Lucien was not small and yet he seemed light as a feather under Frankie's hands.

Was that his real strength? He had obviously never used it with you and you had asked yourself many times what those powerful arms were capable of doing.

In addition to that, you couldn't stop thinking about you, Frankie and Lucien in the same bed. It was your’s greedy brain fault.

You felt guilty because Frankie never failed to please you. At the same time, however, you imagined what it would be like if Lucien had also entered the picture.

Frankie wanted it too after all, he had said so.

By the end of the week you were so pent up by all scenarios you imagined that you actually prayed for Frankie’s confession.

“Frankie” you said on Friday morning, after a night spent at this place sleeping in his arms “we need to talk”

His fingers began to fidget on the kitchen table where you were both sitting having a cup of coffee and some pancakes that you made from scratch.

“About what?” He asked

You swallowed air, carefully choosing your words “Well, I saw something last Saturday night” and he widened his eyes knowing already what you meant. You could see fear in his look so you instinctively brought your hand over his nervously tapping on the table’s wood.

“Don’t worry” you tried to reassure him “I don’t want to break up with you. I love you Frankie, and you can tell me anything, you know that, right?”

Frankie looked pale and concerned “Yes baby but that was so bad. I don’t know what to say”

“Truth is fine” you suggested and he nodded, taking a long breath “yeah, you deserve it so here it is. Lucien kissed me once, about two weeks ago and then again on Saturday. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was scared. It’s just that… I also didn’t know I was into men before. I swear it’s the first time that happened to me but I felt something. Something strong, actually. I was so confused but more than anything else I don’t want to hurt you. I love you, no matter how many men I could find attractive, you’re the most important person in my life.”

Your heart melted instantly at the puppy eyes look that he gave you.

“I trust you. I wish you had told me right away because you know I can understand, but if it was your first time I guess you needed time to process it.”

“Yeah” he murmured softly “but I’m sorry anyway”

“It’s okay. Actually… I don’t mind the idea”

Frankie spat the coffee he was drinking back in his cup “What?”

“Yeah” you admit “I mean… it’s hot” and you felt your cheeks burn at the revelation.

Frankie smirked, looking at you with that particular gaze in his eyes that you recognized as horniness “you would love to fuck both of us, don’t you? Naughty girl”

“I’d love to have a threesome, yeah” you cooed, approaching him and sitting on his lap. You put your arms around his neck and kissed him, you felt his hands wandering on your back and hold you tight.

“What have I done to have a woman like you? Really, I’m the luckier motherfucker that ever existed”

You kissed him again losing yourself at the sensation.

____________________

You saw Lucien at the bar that evening.

Santi was busy making drinks across the counter, Claire was sitting in front of him, Frankie was in the back getting a keg of beer to replace the one that finished.

You were sitting next to each other and you could feel the tension rising in your chest.

Lucien, oblivious to everything, smiled at you and told you about a movie he had just seen.

You hadn’t been this nervous in his presence since you first met and you couldn’t stop staring at the gold chain around his neck. It made you wet to think at the way the accidentally hit your face while he pumped into you.

You'd never liked it on anyone but him, just as you'd never liked anyone who wore a baseball cap all the time before you met Frankie. They were your exceptions.

You were imagining Frankie being hit while Lucien fucked him. Each time they hit your lip or chin the sudden pain turned into pleasure and that little moment had become part of your sexual routine.

The kiss you had seen, though chaste and hasty, had uncovered a series of needs inside you that you hadn't even expected. You had been seething inside all week and talking about it with your boyfriend had only partially calmed you down.

“Lucien” you said “I need to tell you something”

“Just tell me” he grinned, you could see from his expression that he wasn’t expecting anything you were about to say.

“Maybe it’s better if we go out” you sighed, getting up from the stool.

Lucien followed you with a questioning look on his face, you made your way through the crowd to the exit and you leaned against the outside wall of the place, standing on the pavement, while he looked at you “so, what do you have to tell me?”.

You twisted your hands nervously as you searched for the words. “I… I saw you. You and Frankie” you spat suddenly, not finding another way to say it.

Lucien immediately became alarmed and started babbling “oh, no, listen, it’s not what you think… I mean… nothing serious happened, I would never do something like that behind your back again, I know you’re happy with him and I don’t want to ruin it, please believe me. It was just a kiss”

“I know. Frankie told me” you said, firmly “I can't exactly say the same about you but I trust him”

Lucien looked down, as if he was scanning the pavement for who knows what. “I… I’m sorry. I really am. I don’t want to take him away from you. The thing is… I realized how happy you were and first I envied you…And one day… I saw Frankie looking at me and I… I messed up, please forgive me, I’ll never kiss him again.”

You watched him simmer and feel ashamed and you were almost tempted to leave him like that, without saying anything else, as punishment for what he had put you through months before.

You smirked “Lucien” and he wouldn’t stop piling up excuses “Lucien! Shut up and listen to me!” you snapped

“Okay” he replied continuing to inspect the sidewalk.

“Frankie I are inseparable, you know. But… we can try something, if you want”

You locked eyes with his and watched as his expressions changed from confused to intrigued. “What?” he asked, with a crooked smile.

You knew he already understood but he was dying to hear you say it.

You rolled your eyes, annoyed at seeing him gloat like that. “I can’t stand you when you do that.”

“Like what?” he pressed, moving closer to you.

“Like… you are, God, you are so arrogant. You make me regret my own thoughts.”

“Tell me what you want,” he whispered into your neck. He was dangerously close, you were practically trapped between him and the wall. If there was one thing that would never change, it was Lucien’s ability to make you feel like you were playing with fire.

“I want… the three of us…”

“What?” he insisted “say it”

“I want us to have sex, okay, the three of us. together” you squealed.

Lucien looked into your eyes, searching your gaze, you felt like you had confessed a sin. “Oh. I wasn’t expecting that. Interesting.”

“Stop gloating and tell me what you think,” you protested, arms crossed over your chest.

Lucien took your hands and brought your arms down your body, pressing you against the wall and whispering in your ear, “I’m in. Whenever you want.”

“You’re a slut, you know that, huh?”

“Hey! You suggested it, okay? And what can I do, I like to fuck with people who turn me on. So tell me sweetie, when are we doing it?“

“Tonight,” you answered instinctively, the desire to kiss him eating you up and the thought of seeing him with Frankie occupying every part of your brain.

“Woah, you’re not wasting your time.”

“You know I never liked it,” you replied, looking at him through your lashes.

Lucien had always awakened a primal instinct in you, maybe it was his disheveled look, the shirts he always wore open partially revealing his chest, the smell of his skin, the way his beard nipped your cheeks as he kissed you, you didn’t know, but you felt it strongly every time he got closer than he should have.

You came back in and your gaze immediately searched for Frankie, you saw him behind the counter and you slipped in, grabbing him by the waist “you know you can’t stay here” he warned you tenderly, placing his hands on yours “be good and go back to your stool”.

You moved in front of him and looked him intensely in the eyes.

He was so beautiful, so sweet, so attractive that you would have covered him in kisses right there, in front of everyone.

“It’s done. For tonight.” you cooed, winking at him.

Frankie smiled “you’re a little schemer, you know that?” And he kissed you, giving you a pat on the ass immediately after “Good. I can’t wait. Now get out of here”.

You dutifully went to sit down and did nothing but watch him and Lucien alternately for the rest of the evening, reading anticipation on their faces, feeling impatient and excited. You could hardly believe that this was going to happen, and yet you were one step away from having sex with both of them and you had wanted it.

______________

Santi went home with Claire leaving the three of you alone, he looked at you a little suspiciously because normally you would have protested at the fact that he was running off with his girlfriend leaving you to clean up.

He didn't know what you had in mind but he wasn't stupid anyway and he had surely noticed the glances you had exchanged all evening.

He turned around before leaving and smiled saying "have fun”

Once you were alone, a strange energy spread through the bar. No one knew how to make the first move. Lucien was babbling about the beer bottles left lying around, Frankie was busy sweeping every corner, you were lounging at the counter, rubbing the surface with cloth and detergent as if you had to mirror yourself on the wood.

You had to do something to warm up the atmosphere. You put away the cloth, washed your hands and armed with courage you took a coin from your wallet and headed towards the jukebox. You were looking for a song that could give you the push to take the initiative.

You chose Let’s get it on. Marvin Gaye. “A classic always works. It has to work.” you thought. You turned and looked around the place. The dim lights, the smell of whiskey, lime and beer, the little couches scattered around in the corners, the old jukebox, it was a place you knew like the back of your hand and it made you feel comfortable.

It was nice to watch your boys move around in there, confident and relaxed, it had been for all the nights you’d spent there.

You were pleasantly tipsy, not so much that you were drunk but enough to feel brave.

You could have done it. With the song playing in the air, warm and sensual, you felt ready.

You went to your rock first. You walked over to Frankie smiling at his obsessive sweeping of the same spot for the past 5 minutes.

“Hey. I think it’s clean.”

"You say?" Frankie leaned the broom against the wall, laughing, welcoming you into his arms immediately after. You rested your face on his plaid shirt, inhaling his scent, that intoxicating scent of tobacco and leather that you loved so much.

“I love you so much, you know that, right?” You murmured in his chest.

“I know, baby, I love you too”

You raised your chin and looked him in his beautiful chocolate eyes, he moved his hand up to your face, cupping your cheek, brushing his thumb on your skin.

“You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever met” he said. You didn't know how but Frankie had the extraordinary talent of always saying what you needed to hear.

And he said it in a way, with that deep, slightly hoarse voice that made you tingling inside every single time.

You kissed him, savoring him slowly, his tongue brushing your lips, making room into your mouth, intertwining with yours. Frankie deepened the kiss, holding you tight.

You moaned softly into his mouth, reaching out to take off his hat and burying a hand in his hair.

“Interesting song choice,” Frankie whispered, moving his hands to your ass and squeezing “Shall we go home?”

“Yes in a little while, let me dance with you some more” Frankie chuckled, holding you close and starting to swing with you, your bodies pressed and rubbing together.

Lucien came up behind you. “Can I join?” he asked mischievously.

His arms were on Frankie’s, you were deliciously snuggled between the two of them as the three of you moved your hips in unison.

You were silent, still moving, your breaths growing together.

Lucien's hands wrapped around Frankie's strong biceps were a perfect sight. Sandwiched between the two of them, you felt exactly how you imagined.

Hot, confident, eager.

Lucien was the first to break the silence, you felt him half-hard against your ass.

“At my place or yours?” he asked Frankie smirking

“At my house. It’s closer” he replied immediately.

You pulled away and looked into each other's eyes. "Are we sure we want to do this?" Frankie asked.

“I think… yeah” you were hopeful that neither of them had changed their minds and Lucien nodded “Yes, I’m more than sure” and accompanied the sentence with a caress on your arm.

“Do you still want it, Frankie?” And he nodded too saying “of course”

“Come here,” you waved them both closer together and put a hand on the back of their heads, making your mouths collide, a tangle of lips and teeth and tongues.

Lucien's lips were impatient and needy on one side, Frankie's ones expert and sweet on the other. And you in the middle. You no longer knew who was licking whose lips, your saliva and your mixed flavors were intoxicating.

You pulled away and panted “let’s go.”

The song that had accompanied your kisses had ended, leaving a trail of desire.

You reached Frankie's truck hugging each other, Frankie and Lucien's hands intertwined behind your back.

You sat down in front next to Frankie, taking Lucien's hand that was hanging from behind on your shoulder and caressing it while with the other you squeezed Frankie's thigh, slowly moving up towards the crotch of his jeans.

He squinted at you “what are you doing, babe?”

You batted your eyelashes “nothing” and then chuckled softly.

“Well, this nothing is sending me out of space”

Lucien laughed in the backseat as you finally approached Frankie’s house.

As soon as you entered Lucien pushed you against the wall and kissed you “god, I missed your lips”

You smiled, holding on to Frankie's shirt and pulling him close to you.

Frankie's hand hugged your hip feverishly, moving up to your breast, his palm open on your shirt, right on your hardened nipple stiffing against your lacy bra.

Lucien continued his lustful path up your jaw, down the column of your neck, sucking the soft skin and smoothing it with his tongue.

Frankie kneaded your breasts with one hand while squeezing your butt with the other until he grunted “Take off your clothes, baby”

Lucien pulled away, looking at you expectantly.

You smiled at both of them, standing in front of you waiting to see your naked body appear before their eyes.

You took off your shirt, throwing it on Frankie who smiled catching it and bringing it to his nose to inhale your scent.

You could see that light in his eyes, that spark of desire that always shone when he wanted you desperately.

You continued your undressing by unhooking your bra, letting it fall to the floor. Their eyes were fixed on your nipples stiffen in the air.

Lucien instinctively took Frankie's hand and squeezed it tightly, wincing.

“You are always as I remembered you. Gorgeous,” he muttered and a rush of pride rose up to your chest.

“Yes? Touch me,” you invited him.

Lucien’s hand tremblingly approached your waist, moving up along it, stopping at the side of your breast. With his thumb he reached your nipple, brushing it with the tip of his finger.

He freed himself from Frankie's grip and took his hand again, placing it on the crotch of his jeans, turning to give him a crooked smile full of silent requests.

Frankie smiled at him, embarrassed but horny, moving his hand up and down the outline of his cock. It was a new sensation for him, he seemed totally enraptured by it.

Lucien didn't stop caressing you, a moan escaped his lips, his eyes moving alternately between you and Frankie.

Frankie in turn raised a hand to touch your other breast, you wriggled in your guys's hands, so different and yet so enhancing, both of them.

Your guys… it was so strange to think about but that's what they were in that moment. Yours, all yours.

Lucien urged you, “Why don’t you take off your skirt too, princess?”

You didn't need to be told twice, you pulled down the side zip and let it slide down your hips.

“Mmm you’re wearing my favorite panties” Frankie whispered and Lucien echoed “I remember them well. I loved the curve of your ass tight in those panties”

They looked at each other pleased and in a fit of need they exchanged a kiss. Seeing their beards rubbing against, their tongues chasing, their hungry lips capturing each other and hear them moaning into each other’s mouth was too much.

You moaned, your eyes hypnotized in front of that vision. Everything you had imagined took shape in front of you, it was like a dream from which you prayed never to wake up.

“God…” Frankie muttered “let’s go to my room”

————————————————————

You had always liked Frankie's room, it was simply furnished but comfortable.

There was a large bed right in the center, with a beautiful blue duvet that you loved, it was wonderful to cuddle up there with him.

Frankie pushed you gently against it, inviting you to sit down. He turned to Lucien, slowly opening the buttons of his shirt, looking into his eyes. Lucien was looking back at him intently.

Once undone, Frankie ran a hand over his neck, tangling his fingers in his chain, letting it slide down his chest, until it reached his jeans. He fumbled with the button, then pulled down the zipper, and let them slide down his hips. Lucien helped him by stepping on them and pulling them off his ankle, then kicking them to the floor.

He took off his shirt and threw it in a corner. He was naked except for a pair of black boxers that barely contained his erection.

Your gaze wandered on his sculpted chest that ended in a slightly soft, delicious belly, which you had always loved to nibble and you felt your panties getting wet at the sight.

Frankie was the only one still dressed at that point so you urged him “Undress, love, we want to see you”

You could recognize a hint of uncertainty in his eyes but you knew he wanted it. He wanted it so badly that his cap had been left behind at the bar and it was the first time that had happened.

He took off the flannel shirt he was wearing over a T-shirt.

Lucien sat down next to you, letting his fingers slide down your arm.

Frankie pulled his shirt off his neck, leaving his chest bare. You had a thing for his nipples, small, pink, sweet as honey under your tongue. You loved playing with them, and Frankie went crazy every time you did it, even if he wouldn’t admit it openly.

“Come here,” you asked, and he leaned in. You reached up and took one of his nipples between your fingers, pinching it.

Lucien chuckled as Frankie squirmed under your touch “he likes it huh? Good to know”.

Frankie glared at him, “only she can do that,” and Lucien pretended to agree with a clearly amused tone, “yes, of course.”

Frankie snorted, before reaching down and grabbing your knees, spreading your legs “let me see her”.

He reached for the lace of your panties, rubbing it against your folds, wetting the fabric further. “Oh yes, that’s what she needed.”

“She needs you always” you moaned.

“I know. Lie down, love, I want to give her everything she wants” he replied under his breath.

Lying on the bed, you felt Frankie's hands hook around the edges of your panties and you lifted your hips slightly to allow him to pull them down.

He began kissing your inner thigh, lingering on your skin, trailing up towards your groin.

Lucien lowered himself to one of your breasts and licked the areola all around, deliberately avoiding the nipple, looking at you with a knowing smile.

The moment Frankie dipped his fingers between your folds Lucien took your nipple into his mouth, starting to suck slowly.

They worked in sync, your boyfriend between your thighs and your ex on your tit, it felt like they were everywhere, all over your body, ready to taste every part of you.

Frankie’s fingers gathered your arousal to your clit, surrounding it with two fingers shaped in a V and stroking it up and down.

You whined their name, both of them.

Lucien was sucking at your nipple like a madman, pinching and twisting the other one with his fingers.

He parted for a moment just to ask Frankie to stop. Frankie interrupted his careful work around your clit and folds with a grunt “what do you want?”

“It will take me just a second” Lucien wetted two of his fingers with your juice and then he spread it out on your nipple, motioning in circles and then sucking at it again. “mmm even better, babe, I can taste how sweet your are on your fucking beautiful tit”.

It was something he enjoyed doing and it always made your head spin. He moaned loudly sucking at your nipple like that, overwhelmed by the new flavor on it.

Frankie returned down to lick your pussy, up and down, precise, calm, relentless. No one could do it like him, not Lucien, not anyone else you’d ever had.

His hands squeezed your thighs, holding them wide, his tongue lapped flat between your outer lips and when he reached your clit he took it between his lips, sucking it.

“Oh my god, it feels so good” you whine

“I can never get enough of your sweet little pussy,” he whispered between licks.

Your hand disappeared between his dark curls, pushing him towards your pussy, inviting him to dive even deeper and when you felt his tongue pushing your entrance you encouraged him to fuck you with it “more baby, give me more” and Frankie nudged into your hole continuing to take care of your clit with his fingers and then alternating sucking and stroking, until two of his fingers were inside of you and he curled them in a way he knows he was making you crumble.

Lucien was cupping your tit, caressing it with his hand and tongue, his beard gently brushing it, giving you extra stimulation.

They didn’t stop until you were a mess of whimpers and beg, you felt your essence running out of you, Frankie’s mouth catching every drop of it expertly, obscene squelch coming out of you as you clenched around your boyfriend’s big fingers.

“Give it to me, baby, give it all to me” Frankie incited you while you felt your orgasm flooding through your body, making you quiver.

Lucien slipped between your legs “I wanna taste her a little more, please” asking your boyfriend’s permission which drove you absolutely crazy, Frankie made room for him by placing himself next to you and as he continued on your bundle of nerves with his thumb, Lucien licked you clean, drinking from you.

They stood up and kissed as you caught your breath, Frankie's hand on Lucien's waist pulling him towards him, demanding and keen.

You stayed out it for a while watching them, leaning on your elbows, enjoying their eager mouths, tasting your flavor on each other’s tongue, their beards drenched in your juices.

Frankie was much rougher with him, almost matching Lucien’s typical impatience.

He bit his lower lip, sucking it then forcing his tongue into his mouth licking like a starve man.

You loved seeing him lose his inhibitions, it turned you on deeply the way he trailed down on Lucien’s jaw and neck and up to his lips again, rubbing his hand on his cock over the fabric.

You knelt down beside them, your hands on the elastic of their boxers. You pulled them down with their help and they stepped out of them, leaving them crumpled on the floor.

With one hand on both of their cocks you began to stroke them, feeling their velvety skin slide between your fingers, both were already hard, leaking pre cum.

“Mmmm all slippery and wet for me… I love it” you cooed and they stopped kissing looking down at you, mouths parted and running out of breath.

You brought their cocks together rubbing them on one another, touching the tips, stroking them up and down and they left out a whimper.

You had to use two hands to hold both of their big fat cocks.

You continued to smear their pre cum down their length, skin on skin, tips kissing, pleasure on pleasure building strongly as they throbbed in your hands.

They were both hypnotized by your movements, eyes locked on your hands working on their shafts.

You felt a rush of power in your chest, both of your guys at your mercy, your cunt slick again, arousal pooling at your core.

Lucien palmed the back of your head and you couldn’t help but leaning yourself at his cock licking his tip, savoring his flavor on your tongue.

You did the same to Frankie and he praised “you’re so fucking beautiful like that”

You took his length in your mouth, stroking Lucien with your hand, Frankie’s heavy and hot on your tongue as you slide down until you felt it in the back of your throat, almost gagging.

Frankie whispered “god, baby, you always take me so well”

You whined feeling your cunt dripping on your thighs, beginning to suck him.

You run your tongue up and down his length, sucking on his mushroom head, feeling salt and musk invading your mouth.

You stroke Lucien some more and then he moved on his knees right next to you.

You turned and looked him as you sucked, his dark eyes eagerly watching Frankie’s cock disappearing between your lips.

“Can I help?”

You pulled away from your boyfriend’s cock, a thread of saliva connecting his length to your lips.

“Do you want to taste it?”

Lucien nodded repeatedly.

“Say it,” you urged, “I want to hear it.”

“I want to -”

You shook your head, “Tsk. You’re not getting away easily with this. And you don’t say ‘I want’. Ask nicely.”

Lucien gulped before speaking again, visibly annoyed. You didn’t care, it was Frankie’s cock you were talking about, it belonged to you. Him begging for it seemed like the least he could do.

“Can I take it in my mouth, please?” Lucien had finally decided to submit to your will, he was losing his cockiness, pleading with his entire face, and it felt good.

“Only for a few minutes. And make sure you don’t make him come, that’s my job”

“Okay” he agreed and he lowered himself onto Frankie’s cock, mouth wide open, starting to suck where you left off.

Frankie gave you a pleased look, he was clearly impressed by your attitude and you caressed him on his tummy, just above where Lucien's head was, tracing with your fingers that happy strip of hair that led to his intimacy.

A little something only you were allowed to do, ‘cause Frankie was so self conscious of his tummy.

He gained a little bit of weight that went right there on his love handles since he retired and you worked so hard to make him feel better about it.

You loved every single inch of him, from his lovely curls, to his strong nose, from his wide shoulders to his soft belly.

His body was made for loving you, to protect you, to make you feel safe.

You grabbed his balls as Lucien continued to suck him avidly and you gently gripped on them, Frankie left out a whimper that went straight to your cunt.

You angled your face to suck on one, sliding it over your tongue the way you knew he liked it.

Your face right next to Lucien's as you took care of Frankie together must have been something Frankie would never have imagined, you had never heard him moan like that and honestly you were on the edge too as you heard the obscene sounds made by Lucien's mouth full of Frankie's cock so close to your ears.

“Jesus fuck” he muttered, taking an handful of Lucien’s messy hair, pushing him down to his length, you suffocated a little evil laugh at hearing Lucien gagging more than you did.

As soon as you felt Frankie's balls harden you ordered Lucien to move, he took Frankie's cock out of his mouth with a lewd pop and for a moment you lost concentration looking at his swollen lips.

You shook yourself, stuffing what belonged to you into your mouth, wrapping your hand around his base, sucking non-stop, Frankie pulsing on your tongue, his musky scent filling your nostrils, him praising you “my good girl, you are so incredible. You like it huh? I know love, just like that, don't stop”

You increased the pace, sucking at his tip with all the breath you had left, swallowing his whole spent down your throat as soon as he spurted it in long thick streaks, his whole body quivering, his head falling backward and his eyes shut.

“Fuck yeah, baby, oh my- fuck you swallow like a champ” His voice spent and hoarse almost cracked.

You kept it in your mouth until he softened, he looked at you so sweetly, cradling your head, repeating “I love you, baby, I love you so much” and you looked back at him with all the affection that flooded from your heart.

“Come to me, darling,” he said as he sat on the bed and motioned for Lucien to join you on the opposite side. The two of you lay down on Frankie’s bed, you were in the center again, pressed against his chest with one leg wrapped around his waist, while Lucien hugged you from behind.

Frankie kissed the crown of your head, your hair, caressing your arm, holding you tight.

Lucien left a small trail of kisses along your cheek and neck as you felt his cock press against your ass and you hummed quietly.

The three of you stayed like that for a while, snuggled together and listening to your breathing return to normal, until Frankie asked you what else you wanted to do.

“I want…” you paused, examining your desires thoroughly “I want you in my cunt and Lucien in my mouth”

Frankie left out a “damn girl! You’re insatiable” kissing your forehead and you hid your face on his chest giggling.

You raised your head admiring your boyfriend’s captivating smile and his beautiful brown eyes, a little dimple popping out at the side of his mouth.

“Yeah” you cooed “I’m always hungry for you”

Frankie provoked you “and what do you tell me about him?”

“It's a nice addition” you admitted reaching Lucien’s cheek with your hand, passing your fingers tip on his scratchy beard.

“Spit roasted huh?” Lucien whispered into your ear “such a good girl for us”

“On all fours, babe”

You willingly complied with Frankie's request and he stood behind you.

“Is she ready?” He asked and you whined a “yes, please” sticking your ass out and spreading your legs for him.

Frankie leaned down and spread your folds his fingers, looking at your pussy. “Almost” he said.

You snorted “What, almost?” You felt wetter than you’d ever felt in your life, just the thought of being taken by both of them at the same time made your clit vibrate “Yes, love, you need to stretch out a little for me, just a little”.

You protested under your breath and Frankie suddenly stuck his index and middle fingers up to his knuckles inside you. You winced, feeling your disagreement die in your throat.

“Fuck!”

“Here you are princess” he said, starting to move his fingers inside you, in lascivious squeaks and a flow of juices that coated them.

Lucien was in front of you, kneeling, slowly pumping his cock. He approached your face passing the tip on your lips, spreading drops of pre cum over them.

Your mouth instantly agape welcomed him, humming at the flavor spreading on your tongue. Its thick vein crawled across your palate, its flavor a little more pungent than Frankie's but just as pleasant.

You inhaled sharply through your nose, focusing on relaxing your mouth to let him slide in as Frankie's fingers explored relentlessly inside you, caressing your g-spot.

You were basically gushing on his fingers, squirming and crying as your orgasm rose up from your tummy, to your chest, choking in your throat full of Lucien’s cock.

“Fuck baby, you’re dripping on my wrist” Frankie groaned.

Lucien placed his hands on either side of your face and gave a couple of harder thrusts, hitting your throat.

You felt on the verge of tears but the orgasm Frankie was giving you was easing the pain, leaving you in a state of dizziness.

Frankie lined up with your entrance, hitting your folds with his cock a few times and then entering with one firm thrust. He hit your cervix and made you see stars.

He began to hammer into you, gripping your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh.

It was rougher than usual but you didn't mind. Being fucked from both ends was blowing your mind, you had never felt so full.

“Fuck, princess, you’re taking me well” Frankie yelled behind your back while Lucien was grunting right in front of you, palpitating on your tongue.

You were exhausted, overstimulated, yet you didn't know how to stop.

Your skin was incredibly hot, little drops of sweat were sliding down your skin.

You looked at Lucien and his chains flapped on his chest while his raven curls were plastered to his forehead.

His eyes were narrowed, his jaw was slack, an ecstatic expression painted on his face.

You could have come just by watching him but Frankie wouldn’t stop thrusting into you, he was now bent over you holding onto your breasts, barely keeping his balance but you knew how much he loved grabbing your tits while he fucked you. Frankie was a tit man. He was the king of oral sex but while he was doing it he loved to pinch your nipples and could spend just as much time sucking your tits as he enjoyed doing it at your clit. No one had ever made you squirt before Lucien, that’s true, but Frankie was on another level. Making you explode like that was a mission for him and to do that he concentrated on putting his mouth where he knew it would have the greatest effect. And you had sensitive nipples. A perfect match.

Frankie was so close, you knew it because of his sounds. You knew them by heart, those guttural moans that slipped past his lips when he couldn't hold it in any longer.

He flooded your pussy a few moments later and you came right after him, the sound of your orgasm muffled by Lucien's cock still in your mouth even though you felt a storm inside.

You swallowed Lucien's seed shortly after, his hand anchored to the nape of your neck.

He sounded incoherent and delirious as he filled your mouth with his cum.

You collapsed together on the bed, a tangle of legs and arms and labored breathing.

After a few minutes Frankie said “I think I’m not done yet” and you looked at him and immediately understood. Lucien didn’t know him that well, his face was relaxed and totally unaware.

“Huh? What do you want to do?” he asked innocently. Frankie was staring at you and smiling in a mischievous way.

“Oh I know…” you grinned back at Frankie.

“Can someone explain it to me?” Lucien was starting to get nervous, probably feeling cut off from your complicity.

He would know very soon.

Frankie didn't give him time to ask any more questions, he moved on the bed, manhandling him like a puppet.

He turned him over on his back, holding both his wrists still with one hand and said “now you will take my cock. Be good and get down on your knees for me, kitten”

He let go of his wrists and Lucien, submissive like you'd ever seen him, got down on all fours for your boyfriend.

“It's time to take off that braggart look on your face.” Frankie barked.

Lucien tried to protest but before he could, Frankie's finger had already disappeared up into his ass.

He screamed a “fuck” in a broken voice and Frankie laughed “Come on, I know you like it”

“Yeah, I do. You could have prepared me though, motherfucker” Frankie slapped Lucien’s ass.

A red patch radiated across his skin. You were sitting quietly on the side of the bed, enjoying the scene. Frankie was serving you a little revenge on a silver plate.

“I think you deserve a little punishment so now you will shut up, you will take my cock in your ass and you will like it, we clear?”

Lucien moaned as Frankie moved his finger inside him, stretching him out.

“Fuck. Okay. it's not the first time someone's been hard on me though”

For a novice, Frankie certainly showed no hesitation “Ask yourself why”

He had had anal sex before, it had happened with you too but it was his first time with a man.

Lucien's breathing had become heavy again, he was literally melting under Frankie's touch.

He added another finger.

“Yeah, you like that, look how good you're taking my fingers. Tell me you like it, I want to hear it.”

Lucien moaned incoherently and Frankie spanked him again “Use your words”

Lucien babbled “I- I can’t” and Frankie's hand went down a third time on his ass

“Yes you can, speak up” he ordered.

Frankie was a vision.

Focused, relentless, you unconsciously lowered a hand between your legs as you watched him, starting to flick on your clit.

“I love it” Lucien finally managed to say “fuck. yes”

“Good boy” Frankie hummed “you can call me daddy if you like that”

You laughed and Lucien raging voice protested “I won’t call you daddy in a million years, asshole”

Frankie thrusted his fingers inside him saying “Shall we bet?”

Lucien left out a single desperate moan.

“I swear I never wanted it before but now I feel like doing it” you whispered and Frankie winked at you.

He pumped his cock it into his fist, until he got hard again, giving a few more slaps to Lucien who was waiting obscenely open for him.

He pounded into him grabbing him by his hips, thrusting in and out of him ferociously.

Lucien screamed in a frenzy.

You kept touching your clit, increasing the pace along with Frankie who sank into Lucien in long, incessant thrusts.

He grabbed him by his waist and Lucien slammed into Frankie’s chest, holding him firmly as he continued to fuck him.

“The chain” Lucien pleaded “please”

Frankie entwined his fingers with the metal “what do you want, kitten?”

“Pull it. Gently” Lucien said “I need- please”

Frankie didn’t hesitate, pulling it towards him, Lucien moaned, his breathing slightly constricted by the metal around his neck. Frankie was careful not to overdo it and the little extra stimulation sent Lucien over the edge. His neck was red where the chain dug into his skin.

You were now at your limit, flicking on your clit like crazy, two finger stuck in your cunt, wailing along with Lucien and Frankie.

You came screaming Frankie's name like a God, Lucien's body jolted against Frankie's, he pulled out of your ex's ass, stroking his cock a couple of time before painting Lucien’s ass cheeks with his cum.

You were lying on the bed again a moment after, you hugging Frankie and Lucien next to you.

You sighed, breaking the silence first “If we do this again I think I’ll cancel my gym membership,” and they both laughed.

A/n: If you've made it this far, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for your time. 🩷 I hope you enjoyed it, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[pia-nor481]

She Looks Like a Star- Chapter Two

Multidriver x reader (mostly Charles)

She meets a few members of the company, some captivating her, some not. What she can’t get over is the idea of filming with Charles.

2.9k words 18+

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Oscar walked in front of her to open the door, letting her walk into the room first. She was shocked by the amount of people there, a few she recognised, meaning she had seen them on twitter briefly, others she didn't know at all. The nerves Oscar had melted away were quickly coming back as she looked around the room. She noticed a lot of the crew wearing black, yet everyone else was either wearing the same robe Oscar was, or where missing one item of clothing. 

"Is she a new fluffer?" Daniel asked, directing his whisper to Max. "Are you serious? How do you not know who she is?" Daniel just shrugged, turning back to her. The only thoughts rushing through his mind was how gorgeous she was. "She huge, anyone who watches any content should know her." Max rushed out, truly baffled at how unaware Daniel was. "Wait seriously, you've not watched one of her videos?" Carlos interrupted, "It's almost impossible to not cum in a few minutes." A look of shock painted Daniel's face as he finally registered Carlos' words. "Wait, really?" They all nodded with a small smirk. "Who's she working with first?" The Australian asked, "I'm guessing Oscar." Carlos said with a pointed tone as he looked over, noticing the hand on the small of her back. 

An American was the first to walk up to them. "Hi, I'm Logan. I worked with Oscar at his last company. It's nice to me you." He said with a bright smile, holding out his hand. She shook his hand and mirrored his smile. "So have you been filming for long?" She asked, looking back at him. " Four years now, I think. But this is  my second year working here." She nodded with a quick hum. "And you? You've not worked for a company before right?." Logan asked, truly interested. She blushed slightly while answering, "Um, yeah I've not worked for a company before so this is a little nerve wracking actually. But I've been filming for two years." She muttered the last part feeling slightly embarrassed that she wasn't as experienced as someone who was considered new. "That's pretty cool and don't worry, You'll do great." Logan said walking away just before he was called to start filming. Oscar's hand ran up and down her back in an attempt to comfort her. "Relax, you'll be okay." They walked up to Max and Daniel, she was aware of who Max was, it was hard not to be, almost everyone knew his name. "Hello." She almost whispered feeling a little more shy than before. Daniel returned the hello accompanied with a small hug. Max on the other hand didn't interact too much, she'd heard that he doesn't enjoy the more social aspects of the job. "It's a pleasure." Was all he said with his signature smile. "Ignore him...I'm excited to work with you." Daniel said, joy practically radiating from him. The formalities were quickly draining her energy, but there was one more man she had to meet. She noticed that he spent the whole ordeal in the corner of the room just observing her, it didn't feel as weird as it sounded. "Hello, It's nice to meet you. I'm Charles by the way." He said with a small smirk. The first thing she noticed was his accent, and then how enticing his presence was. She was almost captivated. She didn't get a chance to say anything back as she watched him walk away and start talking to the other French speaker Pierre. 

"I can't tell what just happened." She stated looking back at Oscar. "They're just nervous, mostly because you're actually really pretty, plus you're new. So don't take it to heart." He smiled, guiding her back out of the room.

 "Lando wasn't there." She stated simply, not bothering to look up from her feet as they walked back to her so called office. "I think he's filming right now." Oscar said, shaking his head slightly. "Already?" She asked in shock, fumbling with the key to the door. "Yeah, he's the reason there's a filming limit. Once he starts doing something It's all he can think about. So he focuses on that a little too much." He replied, watching her reach for a drink with wide eyes. "Yeah it's one of his kink shoots, so most likely he's not actually fucking her. Those take at least an hour for him to set up before they start filming anyway. Plus there's a lot of changes to the set in between shots. So all in all it probably takes around five or six hours total." Her jaw dropped lightly before she handed him a drink as they both sat on the bed. "That's insane... I'm guessing he does the full nine videos a week." She was still stunned, how could one film for six hours. "Yes, but only three or four of those videos he's actually getting off. He usually doesn't film the full nine every week. But there's a higher expectation for the men in this industry to film more. But he's one of the few that doesn't really mind that." Oscar paused his rant to take a sip of the tea. "You'll be fine, you've not asked to do one of those shoots with him. Plus they are easing you into filming here. Honestly you need to relax a little bit." Oscar was probably one of the worst people she could have heard that from, he always seemed so calm and collected. "Come on, you need to get home and prepare for your meetings." The Australian held his hand out to her. 

The drive home wasn't something she particularly enjoyed, the streets were always busy and people just never seemed to be looking where they were going. When she closed the door to the flat and placed her belongings at the door she noticed a message.

It amazed her how sweet he was being, then again he was the outsider no one wanted to speak to last year, so it only makes sense that he wanted to ease the transition for her. A loud sigh left her lips as she sat down on the sofa, the stress of the day finally catching up to her. 

She walked to her bedroom with haste, grabbing her camera and laptop. She wanted to rid of the stress the best way she knew how. She placed the tripod at the foot of her bed before pulling out her box of toys. She quickly decided on using the white wand from her first video. After plugging it in, she stripped of most of her clothes, just leaving her bra and panties as she climbed on the bed. She clicked the 'stream' button and waited for a substantial amount of viewers before she actual began. "I've had such a stressful day today, and I most definitely need your help." She said rather quietly, running her hands up her abdomen so she could cup her breast, squeezing slightly. With her eyes closes she began to toy with herself, still wanting to give her viewers a show. Her fingers danced over her thighs before she spread her legs, showing off the lacy blue thong she was wearing, she pulled on the waist band before she began to rub her clit lightly, head falling back slightly. "Feels so good already." She mumbled before pulling her hand away, opening her eyes. looking straight at the camera with a big smile. "You better have your hand around you cock." She said in an almost bratty tone, yet she still seemed so sweet. She rose slightly, resting on her knees as she reached behind her back, unclasping the bra. The anticipation of pleasure was almost killing her. She rolled her nipples between her fingers, moaning quietly at the feeling. One thing she prided herself on was making her content as realistic as possible. She didn't want to be sat in front of the camera fake moaning as loud as possible and intentionally making lewd faces. She wanted it to be raw and real; Her fanbase and even casual viewers appreciated it. 

Her eyes shifted from the camera towards her laptop. She smiled seeing the kind words in the chat; "Oh that's terrible.", "I'm sorry you're so stressed.", "I hope you're feeling a bit better now." and "Wishing you the best right now." Even though they were there to watch her get off, she liked the attention and what seemed to be a genuine adoration from certain viewers. "Thank you...You're so sweet to me." She whispered, having to pause to catch her breath. She lowered her hands once again, a small smile adorning her face. She reached for the vibrator to her left and waved it in front of the camera before turning it on to the lowest setting. She started by brushing it over her chest, watching how her nipples hardened at the sensation. She brought the toy down, ghosting over her clit. "Fuck, I want it so bad." She looked back at the laptop waiting for a influx of messages giving her permission. As soon as the vibrator made contact she gasped, body pulling away from it with a small giggle. "Let's try that...Again." She huffed, struggling to get her words out as the vibration sent impulses through her body. "Fuck, needed this so bad." Her eyes rolled tot eh back of her head as she focused on the feeling. The stimulation not only affecting her cunt, but also her stomach, she felt butterflies as she rocked the vibrator against her skin, hips bucking to meet it as much as possible. Her moans bouncing off the walls made it clear how close she already was. She turned the toy up a setting before she began to move it in fast circles on her clit. "Oh, Please, Please. I'm gonna cum." Her vision became blurry as she began to twitch around nothing, eyes closed as her lips turned up into a smile. She could feel her cum slowly dripping down her thighs as she gasped for air, body falling forward slightly as her head dipped, right hand coming in front to support her almost limp body. "Fuck, I can still feel my legs shaking." She giggled once more, looking up towards the camera. She took a moment to fully collect herself and come back to reality.

"Sorry for the unannounced stream, I just wanted to feel good and thought you deserved to see it. Thank you for coming." She smiled before ending the stream, bothering to put the equipment back, just ensuring it was all turned off. She threw her body back onto the bed, head hitting the pillow softly before she reached for her phone.

The next morning she awoke feeling slightly groggy and irritated by the alarm going off next to her.  She groaned loudly as she got out of bed, practically running to the shower to wash off last night's events. She decided that wearing something slightly smart would be best for the meeting, even if it was only to discuss the scene, speaking of which, she was immensely nervous for. After staring at her wardrobe for about six minutes, she decided on a nice pair of trousers and a simple blouse would be the best decision. She slipped the clothes on before walking over to her laptop. Typically after she finished a stream she would look though the comments and donations before she went to bed. But last night, as soon as she locked her phone, she couldn't resist the urge to rest. So this morning, when she woke up to the words of praise she was almost ecstatic.  

As she walked through the dark corridors once more she realised how much she was already missing Oscar. He let her know that he was filming today and so wouldn't be in the building. She struggled down the halls once more looking for the right board room, her nerves quickly rising. Oscar's statement about her not focusing too much on production was really starting to get to her, especially after last night. Was that a bad thing? That she only focused on getting off, not making sure the stream or videos actually looked good. Should she be focused on that more? Her thoughts paused when she watched Charles enter board room three. A small sigh of relief escaped her lips as she followed him into the room. 

A few hellos and reintroductions were said as they all settled down. "So the shoot is in one weeks time in bed set one." Andrea started, looking through plenty of paper work on the table in front of him. "And since this is your first shoot with us, we want to keep things pretty simple. Zak and I think it's best to start with a more romantic and sweet scene and we want to know you're opinions with that?" This was the first time she'd even thought about the scene properly, not just thinking about Charles. "Yes, I think that is good." He said with a small smile, hands resting on the table. "Although I think it would be good to start the scene almost as if we were coming back from a date. It will look a little more, how do you say? Fluid, realistic maybe." Charles questioned. It was clear he had been working with them for a long time, He didn't even hesitate to suggest an idea. "I like that." She smiled, becoming slightly shy. "Okay, that's all good then. We will need your clothing sizes so we can get something appropriate for the shoot if that's okay?" Andrea asked, looking up at her, sliding a piece of paper across the table. She began writing with a small hum. "I would like to wear a suit if possible." Charles spoke up once again before taking a sip of the water in front of him. Andrea nodded righting down the request before turning to her. "Maybe a little dress of some kind." She didn't sound particularly sure of herself in that moment. 

"So, playing off of Charles' idea; You both come into the shot, quietly talking about how nice the date was and how much you really missed time with each other. Charles with come up behind you, holding your hips or waist and whispers something flirty to you. Then we'll cut to a different camera and he'll start undressing you." He paused briefly, letting Toto chime in. "So how many cameras do you actually want for this shoot?" Toto was the head of directing and was usually pretty hands on when filming, often found with a camera or a mic in his hands. "Possibly two. One on a tripod in front of the bed and one handheld following them around the room. I think it would be best to start with that one so we can get the shot from the front, then the one of Charles unzipping the dress in one go." Andrea stated looking directly at the Austrian. "I think having another would be best, maybe not following them around per say, but another handheld." Toto had been filming for almost eleven years now so he knew what was best and everyone truly trusted his opinion. 

"Okay, that's good. It will make the set up and directing a little bit longer. Just need you to know that." You could hear the sound of her heels tapping against the wooden floor of the room as he spoke. "Then after all the clothes are off I just want you to do whatever feels most natural in the moment but we want it to seem as sensual and loving as possible." Why did she feel like that was worse than having to follow a script? She wasn't completely sure she was ready for this. "One last thing, If either of you want anything to pause, end or be changed in some way say 'Stop' This isn't one of the more rough scenes so there is no need for any other words. So if you hear the other person say it, asks them immediately what's wrong." Andrea spoke with conviction, looking between them both for confirmation. Charles just could not take his eyes away from her for the rest of the meeting, he was enthralled with her. That was half of the reason he could only keep his introduction short the day prior, he didn't want to say anything stupid. 

"You need to be in the building by ten am giving you time for hair, make up et cetera. You need to be ready on set by eleven so we can sort the last few things out; Mostly what you're going to say and the final locations of the cameras and if there are any last minute details we need to add we have the time to do so." Andrea took one last pause before closing his notebook and folder. "That's all I need you for." 

She was just as overwhelmed now as she was when she left the first meeting and so thought it was best to go to her office to lie down for a moment. She once again struggled without Oscar's guidance. A small blush rose to her face as she sat down, thinking about Charles. Was it normal to be thinking about a colleague in such a way? Is there even that kind of line when your job is to fuck said colleague? Probably not. Even with the pillow covering her ears she could still hear the sound of the message on her phone. 

[kaliforniahigh]

Dad!Noah and Wife!Reader taking pics of each other while napping with the babe. Like she sees him napping holding the little one (also napping) in his arms or on his chest. And viceversa. just fluff.

This is soo cute, I'm gonna cry!!!!

Warning: I don't know how Noah used to celebrate birthdays/halloween, the description is just for the sake of the story. This became more of a Halloween fic rather than a birthday fic LOL

WC: 1.1k (not proofread)

This is basically just fluff.

There was a time when you and Noah used to go crazy for Halloween and his birthday. Young and in love, the night felt endless and so did the drinks.

Before Noah met you, he wasn't really big on celebrating the date. But you came into his life and he didn't really understand how had you went for Halloween when he spent it with you the first time.

He remembers you planning your costume months before the date. And after he saw your excitement, he couldn't help but ask you to put something together for him as well. So you started celebrating Halloween every year after that.

You had one condition though. Halloween needed to be celebrated on the 30th, because you insisted that the 31st and his day only.

He protested at first, but then saw that you wouldn't budge on your decision. So that's when he also started to celebrate his birthday.

The boys always congratulated him, obviously, but he never wanted anything too crazy. Maybe order his favorite fruit and have some cake. But that was the extent of it.

Now, you and him go out to eat, you buy him a fancy cake with decorations and writing on top and you sing happy birthdays while the candle is lit.

This year though, your October is looking very different.

First, you both feel dead tired everyday - have been since your daughter was born - and the preparations were a little last minute, since neither you nor Noah remembered your daughter's daycare Halloween party.

It was just your luck that they decided to celebrate it on the 30th, so you could have the 31st to celebrate with family and friends.

So you took care of the food, and Noah ran to the store to pick up a last minute costume. You didn't give him any instructions, which scared you a little bit.

When he came home though, with two bags in hand and you opened them to find a Fred, Wilma and Pebbles Flintstones costume, you were sure you wouldn't be able to pick a better one even if you tried.

So with food in your hands and an almost one year old baby on Noah's arms, you headed to the "party".

It wasn't anything crazy, since it was only a bunch of babies and parents in one room, eating nice food and giving each other - sometimes unsolicited - advice on how to make the baby fall asleep at night and other stuff. There also weren't any drinks, which didn't bother you and Noah in the slightest, since you both stopped drinking since before you found out you were pregnant.

But, taking care of a baby in that environment still took a lot out of you and him. Aurora cried from time to time, mainly from the amount of people in the room, or simply because another baby started crying too. So Noah had to take her on a walk and show her some toys to try and distract her.

The thing that tired you the most was having to interact with other parents. You didn't sleep well last night - like many other nights - and you just wanted to be home, resting with your family.

But you understood the importance of participating in these events. Both for your baby and for you and Noah as new parents.

You tried to stay for as long as you could, but right when it was approaching 8:00 PM, your daughter began to get even more fussy in Noah's arms, and he suggested you head home.

Saying goodbye to everyone, Noah secured Aurora on the car seat, and got in the driver's seat next to you.

"I didn't know these baby parties could drain you so much", you said as you sighed out loud.

"Tell me about it", he gave you a look of disbelief and turned on the car, driving off into the streets. "Evan literally wouldn't stop talking about how well his son sleeps through the night", he huffed in annoyance.

"Ugh, these kinds of people piss me off", you rolled your eyes, resting your head on the window.

"He could tell I was falling asleep at any minute, and he just wanted to feel like the better parent"

Usually, you and Noah didn't care about these comments. You knew you were giving your best to your daughter, while also having to balance a marriage.

But it was times like these, where you felt overwhelmed, that you couldn't lie and say that these comments didn't piss you off.

You two were vey lucky to have each other during this journey and you wouldn't choose doing this with anyone else.

When you got home, you unbuckled Aurora while Noah opened the door. Making your way inside, Noah took the sleepy baby from your arms.

"Let me feed her, you can go take a shower", he said, and kissed you on the forehead.

You thanked him silently, making your way up the stairs to take a warm and steamy shower.

You took longer than usual, just needing a few minutes to clear your head and relax by yourself.

Cleaning the fog from the mirror, you dried yourself, brushed your teeh and picked some comfortable clothes - usually Noah's - to sleep in.

You silently made your way to the nursery to put the baby to sleep and give Noah his turn in the shower. The door was wide open, Noah sitting on the recliner, shirtless, as that was his preferred way of holding Aurora when he was home. You were about to softly call out his name for him to look at you, when you noticed soft breaths coming from his lips.

Getting closer, you noticed that both of them were in a deep slumber, Violet's cheeks smushed on her dad's chest, her little hand making a thight fist.

Noah's large hand was sprawled on her back, holding her close to him, head lulled to the side.

You were frozen in your spot for a few minutes, just watching the two most important people in your life share an indescribable moment together.

You thought about snapping a picture, when you remember you left your phone on your bed when you went to take a shower. Tiptoeing your way out of the room as silently as you could, you went to the bedroom to grab your phone.

When you came back, you wanted to chuckle at how knocked out they both were. You noticed that Aurora slept with her little mouth slightly open, just like her dad.

After snapping a few pictures from different angles, you decided to print it tomorrow to add to your endless collection of you daughter sleeping with either you or Noah.

You watched for a few more minutes, realizing that eventually, you would have to wake him up.

But for now, you went to the kitchen to snack on something before bed, deciding to let them be for a while longer.

[blurreynights]

I think the biggest culture shock I experienced in Finland so far is around friendships, as well as the area where I learned a lot of valuable things about myself. I might not be entirely right about this as I've only been here for a short time, but those are my main take-aways:

(under the cut to not block ur tags w my english rambling)

Trying to build real friendships takes time, much longer than in my home country. It is relatively easy to get in contact with Germans in my experience, especially if you live in a bigger city and speak the language, ESPECIALLY if you are a student and just starting out in a new phase of your life. You will naturally hang out frequently if you match well and spend a lot of time together. It might take a few meetings before people will invite u to their home, but generally there's not much distance as soon as the ice is broken.

Here I feel like people are much slower and more reluctant to open up. But that doesn't equal rejection, it's simply a slower process and you will still be able to tell the difference between being rejected and being on the path of friendship. In Germany, it's usually a lot more fast paced and there is a small window you have to catch to get into tight friendgroups. If you miss it, no chance of ever going back, vibe gone chance gone. Also people who might have found you interesting could lose interest if you wait for too long (meaning usually a month or so) to get back to them.

I actually realized that this way of socializing stresses me tf out. I much prefer a more laid back approach where you can get to know each other without time limitations (of course prerequisite is that you have the time). It is a much more sustainable, thoughtful and respectful approach to someone elses time. You're not treated as disposable, but rather as a person someone actively chooses to get to know.

Likewise, if people feel like they either do not vibe with you or if they already have a very busy social life or life in general, they will let you know and don't pretend to have time or like you. This was quite a new thing to me and felt a bit cold, but I actually really appreciate it now, as it's saving you from stressful, draining interpersonal connections. It also made me respect some people immensely, because they know their own self worth and boundaries quite well.

It made me reflect upon my tendency to be a people pleaser, and the strong yearning I have to treat my own relationships the same way as I've experienced it here. I've grown so tired of superficial connections that are placeholders for true, fulfilling friendships. I used to think being lonely was the worst thing in the world. It kind of is still awful, but what's worse is being surrounded by a bunch of people you don't really click with or can rely on, which leaves you lonely as well. I do think letting go of this is something that will slowly seep over into my own life, as it is so freeing.

I also intend on staying, or rather coming back when I've finished up all my business back in Germany (I am not really rooted to the city I live in). People who I've told about this recent development were very worried if I would be able to be happy in a country that is (generally) much more reserved when it comes to social interaction, as I need social interaction regularly. I don't really think it's that big of an issue, as I think I can balance out people's passive approach with my more active one in the beginning. I have a high social battery, so I'm fine with interacting with a few more people, before people get truly comfortable to hang out on the regular. Yet I also prefer quality interactions over a bunch of small talk meetups I don't care about. I also still have my core friends who I talk to regularly on the phone, and this has been a tradition for years already before I came here.

What I am immensely struggling with right now is trying to make sense of all the connections I made in the past 10 years. This is the 6th city I lived in the last decade, and the 8th move. All my relationships feel so spread out and scattered. I am holding on to some solely because those people were there when I moved somewhere new and I didn't have anyone else. Like back in school, when I was friends with people because they were the only ones there. It's all a bit confusing and painful right now, as my values and perspectives are changing. I think there are a lot of people moving from the friends to acquaintance category right now. I'm completely redefining friendships for me at the moment.

[imagines-to-quench-thirst]

5 Times, He Knew

A new series when your man just knew that you were the one for him

yay, I came out of my den and finally wrote something. sorry guys but it was a very hectic 6 months for me a lot of things happened and I found myself not writing at all but I will try to be more active. apologize and sending you kisses MAIN MASTERLIST.

1. Coffee order

Coffee was Clark's lifeline, ever since adapting to the new city, moving from FarmVille to Metropolis. Coffee, freshly roasted coffee, was his ticket to calmness. When he met you in a coffee shop, he enjoyed the way you considered your coffee important in the day as much as he did.

Bit by bit, coffee by coffee, you two grew close. Relationship close. Small dates turned into night-long discussions about the anime Perfect Blue, lunches that were way longer than the prescribed 45-minute break from work, and drinks in the night, which ensued a little sneaky session in Clark's truck.

Remembering all the small details about you, your routine, your memberships that drain your card, some of which he reminds you to unsubscribe since you don't use them, places you go to calm and relax. Even when he is patrolling, flying through the clouds, he likes to ensure you are safe. Most of the time, listen in on your conversations with your friends while you say components about your man.

But one of the things that makes him a winner in your books is… you remember his coffee order.

white decaf mocha with one pump of caramel syrup and whipped cream on top with chocolate sprinkles

Once, when you came to him after work home, you brought coffee for the two of you. You knew about Clark, you knew about Superman, and you knew about Kal-El, and all of them liked coffee. When you offered the coffee to Clark, reciting the coffee order without hesitation, he swore he fell in love all over again.

'But that's not all. I have something else.' 'What?' 'A pupicino for Krypto!"

Scratch that; Clark was already in his mind buying you a ring.

2. Bachelor watch time

Clark is a romantic person; he is cheesy... so cheesy it borderlines into date-time reality shows, ei The Bachelor. A man/woman who has a harem of people fighting over their hearts and while some drama and unforgettable moments ensue, sign him up. He enjoys watching Bachelorette and Bachelor and especially enjoys watching re-runs with you. He enjoys the way he can talk to you about it, tell you his theories about the contestants, and say his thoughts about the outfits.

Clark enjoys talking about the show after, slicing his ideas for dates on the show more so going far to write a draft for a new episode. Clark loves to spill his thoughts when the roses are given. He loves the way he can talk about it to you with no shame. It is a guilty pleasure; he knows it is. But it feels so good. Clark speaks about it like it is fine art---

'Have you seen the way Rachel looked at Ashley? The stare was so intense. I've got goosebumps, literal goosebumps.'

"The way Micheal gave the rose to Michele and said the wrong name! Such an idiot. I would never forget your name."

'He is talking to like 20 ladies. Name swaps are bound to happen.' 'Tomato potato.' 'That's not how the saying goes, Clark.' "I lived on a farm."

But what Clark enjoys when you talk to him about it. That interaction about it, a safe space for him to talk about it when sometimes you match his energy about it.

3. Dog Walks

They say "People who your dog doesn't like, don't be around them"- a very smart person (me)

But that wasn't your case. Krypto adored you, and you adored Krypto. More so than Clark, but don't tell him that. Krypto enjoyed your company and loved the dog walks with you leading him.

Clark loved you, so when he was ready, he had you met his trusted family member…

"Darling, I want to warn you beforehand. Krypto is a great boy, but he might growl a bit. So when he does that, go behind me." "Okay." with an anxious door opening, Krypto sat in front of the door wagging his tail at Clark's chosen partner walking with few steps, licking the inviting hand. And after that first contact, it was pure love and compassion.

Clark knew that Krypto was a great judge of character, but sometimes Clark felt a bit jealous.

Even now, when he cruised along Metropolis, checking if any daytime crimes were happening around the Metrolois central park. No crimes, just you and Krypto walking side by side in the park. A sight that called a smile upon his face. Lowering himself behind a tree, he wanted to see it better, even with his perfect vision. Seeing Krpyto enjoy the ball being thrown for him as he ran to catch it while you laughed and called him sweetly into your arms. Clark didn't have a big family, he had his lovable parents back in Smallville but no one else in the Metropolis. So, having you and Krypto, he thanked his lucky stars each night, knowing that having a small and meaningful family was all he needed.

Sure, he knew that Krypto loved you more than the caped superhero, but no one could blame him for that.

Clark was also crazy for you too.

4. Moving In

After deciding that you two would live together, Clark was the ever-helpful mover packing each box and happily carrying it into your shared apartment, feeling excited about the new chapter in his life.

Making a big step like this was everything Clark wanted, normal steps suited for his story. Placing down the boxes, Clark felt a sweet relief in the empty apartment that was bare and empty with only Clark, Krypto, and you.

Clark didn't care that the apartment was empty and that there was no bed but only an air mattress. All he wanted was you and him, and Krypto. He was a lovesick fool.

"What's with the grin?" "Nothing… I just love you…" "And I love you too… now the fun part begins…. Ikea furniture set up…" "oh no……"

5. First Dance

Clark was no dancer; the big guy had two left feet. He was constantly bullied and never picked for the Smallville Corn Night dance.

When moving to Metropolis, he never gave it much thought, leaving them to collect dust in his brain. So when he met you, he was a bit confused about why you were dancing in the kitchen while making pasta. Okay… it was more so hips swaying and bit of humming, but for our non-dancing boy, that was full-on dance-breaking.

"Why are you dancing in the kitchen?" "Dancing? What do- oh you mean this?" "Yes." "Well…while I wait for the pasta to cook I like to dance a little. You don't dance?" "…." "Then dance with me. I will show you."

Taking his hand, you lead Clark a bit, his steps mixing a bit as you guided him while soft Spanish music plays in the background. Feeling a bit out of his element, Clark looked into your eyes, seeing the way they sparkled and your signature smile that he loved to the ends of the universe. Feeling him move in a circle slowly and gently with you, he didn't mind as much now that he was dancing in the kitchen.

In that moment, he felt understood, not made fun off, but rather being shown something new that he can enjoy with you. Enjoy it with you.