#but julian had a loving family who never once neglected him or made him feel like a burden.

[kinfusion]

keep thinking about the few times people have questioned my kins because they felt like another character fit me better.

years ago, one of my childhood friends suggested dave strider was too cool to be me and ive noticed people get like. weirdly defensive whenever i suggested he wasn't cool.

like... um...

people think he is cool in that he has no anxiety, that he is a total womanizer that gets bitches. but he's not that. in reality he's actually just a scared guy with a cool kid persona who mumbles to himself and stutters and gets easily overwhelmed. but, still, i couldn't be dave because im not cool or confident. even tho dave is very much not cool or confident. for example, he has a mini meltdown when you point out that he pronounced a word wrong cause he never heard anyone say it before. because his brother had him pulled from public school, where he then had to teach himself how to do almost everything. and he taught himself wrong and felt like a fool in front of the first person he's seen face to face that wasn't his bro.

he is not cool in the way people imagined. i am not cool in the way people imagined.

[vanaglorio]

VANAGLORIA : A STUDY IN HUBRIS.

HECTOR SOLORZANO. full name, HECTOR ALEJANDRO VELASQUEZ SOLORZANO. 27 years old, born on december 28th, 2994 in mexico city. cis man and uses he / they / doesn’t really care about pronouns. sold his soul to his family’s global construction and real estate empire and works as a civil engineering project manager. 

SKELETON.  DYNAMICS.  PINTEREST.  HISTORY & MISC. BELOW.

trigger warning: suicide, drug overdose

IMPETUS.

the concept of making some kind of lasting, indelible mark on the world that wasn’t gilded, silver-spooned and handed to him on a platter. the glory of having his own name mean something, beyond inheritance and privilege and absurd extravagance. creating something with his mind and his own two hands — in and of itself, an impossible feat considering all he’s ever achieved has had his family’s insignia stamped on it. but an ambition he holds fast to like a cardinal point on a compass

plain old kendall roy style retribution and succession drama baby. hector’s never forgiven his father for destroying his brother and despite his father’s best attempts to shape him into the back-up heir, he’s going to fuck this company up before he ever gets to inherit it. 

hubris is his ultimate achilles heel and downfall. yes, irony thy name is hector. thinks he’s somehow smarter, faster, hungrier and more brilliant and than everyone around him. which is obviously not the case. this guy is playing so many games within games with enemies and allies alike, he couldn’t claw his way out of the matrix-style shit storm if he tried. 

HISTORY.

only child, the demon, angle and beloved favourite all in one. originally born as the younger son. the spare, not the heir.

hector’s father is the CEO of the largest civil and engineering construction company in the world. their headquarters is in mexico city but they have subsidiary offices in madrid, london, tokyo and los angeles. hector’s mother is the heiress of the velasquez real estate empire, her family holding company owning substantial parcels of land all across south america, north america and europe.

his older brother, teodoro, was born 7 years before him. the consummate perfect son and heir to the empire — until, of course, he wasn’t. escalating parental pressure, crushing academic expectations, the weight of the world upon his shoulders. teodoro was no atlas. hector was 14 when they found his brother overdosed in a penthouse in saint-tropez while on summer vacation.

the process of priming hector to become the next heir was so swift, so damning, as to be almost surgical. teo’s body was barely cold and laid to rest in the ground before their parents began to talk about hector’s ‘future’.

hector never forgave his parents for what happened to teo. they were to blame, of course they were — they stood by and watched as teo slowly killed himself, until there was nothing left but his body to go. he was dead long before he swallowed his own heart and jumped on a one-way first class flight to the french riviera. 

generally speaking, hector’s academic record was rather unexceptional until teo died and he had no choice but to perform in teo’s stead. and he did it, teeth gritted and eyes slitted murderous, the whole damn show pony circus show. the endless parade of meaningless extracurriculars: everything from debate club to swim team and lacrosse to mathematics decathlons. enough to fill a trophy room with lustrous medals, accolades, first place ribbons, and still not enough. hector could never live up to teo’s looming shadow, nor did he want to. it felt, somehow, like a betrayal, to prove he was better than his brother in any way. to validate his parent’s desire to mould him as the emergency replacement. 

the only subjects hector enjoyed with any genuine passion or fascination that wasn’t feigned were classics and history.

enrolled into verdamme as a staunch fuck you to his parents who had astronomical hopes he’d attend MIT or stanford or ETH and get an engineering degree. (he did end up getting one, postgrad.)

was julian’s so-called right-hand man throughout all the years at verdamme and is also one of the riot club member’s who knew julian the longest. loved julian as much as he hated him and thought he deserved to die. one of the leading proponents of the #kill caesar movement. somehow not the most suspicious potential suspect. 

the irritating bastard in class who barely tried but seemed to ace every single test. in reality he just has an exceptional short-term memory and mind for rote learning — in one ear, out the other, etc. very much the kid that seems to be napping for all of class and then pipes up to give the most bizarre, unexpectedly insightful comment in the middle of discussion.

fucks with people, their lives / hearts / hopes and dreams, as a way to feel something? inside? maybe?? notorious for being one of julian’s worst enablers but was also plenty responsible for his own schemes, manipulations and cruelties.

MISCELLANEOUS.

is currently engaged to the heiress of a spanish shipping company in the world’s longest running engagement. almost never wears his ring but mexican and spanish news outlets made quite a big deal out of it when it was first announced over a year ago.

speaks spanish, english, french and italian fluently. due to being your typical classics nerd, also fluent in latin and ancient greek. conversational in german and portugese.

general vibe is aloof, albeit quite disarming once he strikes up a conversation, laidback, chariasmtic, “chill”, able to talk to anyone about anything when he can actually be bothered to. also the guy with zero chill, secretly. we don’t talk about that.

endeavours to avoid personal drama at all costs that hasn’t been purposefully orchestrated for some kind of game but will enjoy the schadenfreude from the sidelines while placing bets on who’ll come out on top. it’s probably a gambling problem.

some kind of deep emotional trauma (re: parental neglect & then overnight obsession with him being the perfect replacement son for the dead brother) (re: aforementioned dead brother who is possibly the only person he’s ever loved) that prevents him from properly connecting to people on a deeper level beyond shallow, casual and purposeless sex

travelling is the one and only perk of his current job. he loves travelling, but in the niche struggling backpacker way that normal twenty-something years olds do, not the private jet lifestyle of a billionaire heir of a global conglomerate

collects obscure roman artefacts, specifically from the late roman republic, and has an antique knife collection. his favourite is a ceremonial gold dagger and sheath from the tomb of tutankhamun.

teo’s girlfriend left his dog, socrates, with him after the funeral, claiming she couldn’t bear to have the memory of him around her. he’s unironically hector’s best friend.

[reithel1]

Lucifer: Revelations (Outline for a Movie)

OR

Lucifer: Season 6.66

(How I Would Have Written Season 6):

I Love the actors, the characters and have deep appreciation for everyone in front of and behind the cameras… the story had quite a few good things… but parts were missing, some were confusing and some parts that were just plain mean… you naughty writers!

Lucifer Season Six was a disappointment to a lot of people. I swear, if I hear one more person say “bittersweet” I’m going to kick someone right in their dark chocolate.

It wasn’t “bittersweet” … much of the Chloe-and-Lucifer story was just bitter, period. (Also, a lot of folks are appalled at the way Trixie was snubbed…)

First, it’s obvious that none of your writers are old enough to understand the pain they are trying to write about…

They say, “it’s ok because they know Lucifer and Chloe will have eternity together”… This is something that a younger person would write… someone who has never had to live for several decades without that one person… the love of her life, raise his child alone… missing those milestones… first steps, first giggles, birthdays and holidays… it’s even worse, much worse, if he is somewhere else missing them too and she has to feel his pain too. And that is just HUMAN suffering.

Compound that with knowing your loved one is in a place where a month of your pain is a thousand years of torture for him, and it becomes unfathomable.

I have done the human part and wouldn’t even wish that pain on a fictional character.

That Time Travel nonsense just doesn’t work if it means that Lucifer has to sacrifice everything he has worked through, trying to so hard to come to grips with his own daddy issues. There is NO WAY that he would agree to walk away from his own child after all of that. NO WAY that he becomes a deadbeat Daddy.

So, I learned a new word… RETCON… it means “Retroactive Continuity”… something can be changed so that things that come after it can also be changed…

This can be corrected if it is shown that parts of the sixth season were just old, sick Chloe’s dementia, bad dreams, an injury or an illness-driven hallucination...

For one thing, once Rory returned to Chloe’s deathbed, couldn’t she have EASILY just sent up a prayer to Uncle Amenadiel aka GOD, and said, “I know the truth now, please tell Dad it’s time to come home, Mom needs him... it’s time!” and Lucifer could have been there within seconds! So the final scenes of Chloe dying without him don’t make any sense. Amenadiel not taking Chloe to see her Dad and Mom in heaven before heading to Hell also doesn’t make any sense… if she lived to be old, Penelope would have joined John by then.

So, I present: LUCIFER: REVELATIONS OR SEASON 6.66:

NEW GOD: I would change the plot so that Lucifer initially ascends the throne, attempts being God, (people AND angels died for him to become God, you know), he discovers what a hard job it really is, (remember when he said he hated the cacophony of voices in his head? How hard would it be for him to have to deal with 7.79 billion people praying to him in different languages, almost all at once, and see how he handled THAT!), then discovers Chloe is pregnant and THEN figures out that he doesn’t want the God job... How hard would it be for him when he’s God to constantly hear what she is thinking and have to turn a “deaf ear” to it? Not comment on it out of respect for her... adjust to letting her have some kind of privacy? After awhile, Lucifer begins to take more and more time away from his God duties, as if pretending he’s deaf and turning off his “hearing aid.”

NO GOD: On a celestial level, the other angels get frustrated because Dad has vacated the throne, Michael was gone (being punished in Hell) and Lucifer is gone frequently because he wants to step down — spend more time with Chloe as she nears her due date, then with the baby and Trixie, settling in to being an “earthly” Dad, and sort of neglecting his “Father of the Universe” duties… and Amenadiel doesn’t want it either... New rumbling began regarding who should rule... Since earth is once again basically without a God, things begin to descend into chaos, both on the earthly plane and in Heaven...

MICHAEL: Lucifer’s counsel helps Michael understand that the same parental issues that caused him to be rebellious and mischievous has caused Michael to be resentful and devious… This revelation helps them both, Lucifer forgives Michael and after awhile, Michael finally forgives himself for being a dickhead, and finally self-actualizes his wings back. Michael returns to the Silver City, and is happily reunited with all his siblings who are pleased that he has found his way... but soon, he feels the tension of the empty throne, he considers trying to claim it, but he is a different angel now, feels that it is no longer his destiny or his desire to rule... he feels unfulfilled in Heaven and returns to Hell to help Lucifer with his giant new task of helping lost souls find their own way out.

Lucifer is surprised and very pleased to be working wing-to-wing with his brother and it helps lighten his work load, but is dismayed to hear of the unrest in Heaven and the disintegration of things on earth. Since Michael has made such a transformation, while Lucifer was still God, he fixes Michael’s wing and shoulder, removes his scar and makes him beautiful again, with shimmering gold wings. Now he’s just as lovely as Lucifer and has no further reason for jealousy.

AMENADIEL: I wanted to see Amenadiel in a situation where he saved that racist boss by stepping in front of him and deflecting a bullet… the same black guy he has been so horrid to has now saved him… Amenadiel could have a few choice words for him, maybe pulls his shirt open and show him there is no bulletproof vest… right before leaving to go back to the Silver City.

NEW REBELLION: Near the end of the Movie: Wouldn't it be great if Lucifer and Michael could return to Heaven for a battle scene and fight together with Amenadiel against a new rebellion led by someone other than Lucifer or Michael? Now Lucifer is finding out how his father felt when Lucifer rebelled against Him all those many years ago! Surprised? Betrayed? Angry? Hurt? (Maybe it could even be Rory or some as-yet unborn angel child that starts this rebellion against him... but this time, it’s not because he wasn’t a good Dad, but because he is not being a good God in their eyes.)

They would find a way to make their brothers and sisters stand down by stopping the rebellion by a show of wit and power but not fighting... maybe just as the battle is about to begin, Lucifer (who is still God at this point) slices a veil of clouds with the flaming sword, showing a brilliant white and diamond view of a Heavenly Host of souls, millions of them... (CGI) all the good souls who have agreed, plus all the souls that he has saved from Hell and ascended to Heaven who have vowed never to serve any angel who takes the throne by force... (this scene would be great close to the end of the movie for a chance to see everyone one last time as they all stand together in the clouds in support of Lucifer), and can include any/all main characters that have recently deceased — if any — Ella, Maze, Eve, Linda, Trixie... previous characters: John and Penelope Decker, Dan and Charlotte, Father Kinley/Dromos and Squee, Delilah, Jimmy Barnes, Father Frank, Candy Morningstar, Reese, Cain, Abel and LeMec and Mr Said Out Bitch and any angels like RayRay, Zadkiel, Sara, Gabriel, and any other fan favorites from the past that we’d recognize, anyone who is available and willing to do it for the right price), and it is an amazing, breathtaking sight to behold... and with Chloe, Michael, and Amenadiel by his side, Lucifer says, “What would be the point of sitting on a throne in an empty kingdom where the only ones to bend a knee will be a few of your own brothers and sisters?”

This has paved the way for the New God...

(Note: For a couple of seconds each, show a view of the couch back home in Hell’s Therapy Office: Julian and his dad Mr. Tiernan are waiting for their session, squabbling. In another room, Malcom is sitting in a lumpy chair in front of a big screen TV that doesn’t work, with a table of food looks beautiful but has no taste or smell, and a glance into another room with Pete surrounded by lilies, listening to angry women — Ella’s voice and his mother’s — screaming at him 24/7. He and Malcom are both staring at a sign above a Red Light that isn’t lit... “Come to Therapy Office when Lit”)

NEW GOD/OG GOD: The three brothers calmed the rebellion, but they still have an empty throne that none of them really want to ascend to... Lucifer is still technically God, and Michael and Amenadiel try to convince Lucifer that he should resume his duties but Lucifer and Michael are now humble enough to know that it is not their calling... their work in Hell needs them.

Big fanfare! Dad comes back, and Lucifer gladly returns the family business back to its rightful owner... ALL of Lucifer’s lessons are NOW FINALLY completed, FINALLY he has a whole new understanding of how tough God’s job was, he has a whole new appreciation and respect for his Dad and the two of them can finally have the relationship they have always needed and Lucifer has always craved and Lucifer will finally have the chance to have a real family with his Dad and Mum, since they worked out their shit in her dimension, (He’s GOD for Heaven’s sake, you damn well know He can travel between dimensions if He wants to, and I’m sure Goddess is equally powerful and can come and go as She pleases too... gimme a break!

PS: Uriel and Remi can make an appearance too, because I am quite sure Dad is very capable of snatching his children’s souls out of their bodies, or creating replicas or holograms or whatever… removing them from harm’s way just in the nick of time, or giving them new bodies up in the Silver City. He IS God!)

God tells Lucifer he saw him at the Colosseum and was practicing blinking his eyes at the end (we saw three quick black outs at the end of season five while Lucifer held up the flaming sword and said, “Oh my Me”... figured it must’ve been God blinking, but it wasn’t mentioned again).

The three brothers now understand the pecking order, Amenadiel is second in command and has his ability to slow time plus almost as many powers as God (but not quite all the “omni’s”), and Lucifer and Michael are 2nd and 3rd in line, having slightly less powers than Amenadiel but more than the other angels, are happy to facilitate the transformation of Hell while helping out in Heaven whenever called upon to do so — those rare times when God, Goddess and Amenadiel are absent, need extra help or errands run somewhere in the world. Lucifer is still the Lightbringer but that is about all that stands him apart from Michael at that point, as they stand together as matching archangels.

And maybe in the end, the seven of them, (Dad, Mum, Amenadiel, Linda, Lucifer and Chloe and Michael) all working together to make earth and hell better places, and raise Charlie, Trixie and Rory and any future angel babies to be the next generation so that Grandpa and Grandma, Moms, Dads and Uncles can actually take a Vacay once in awhile and visit Mum’s dimension... or... Boca maybe? French Riviera? And Michael helps cover the workload in Hell’s Therapy Office, while Lucifer is away.

LINDA: Speaking of Linda, Linda and Amenadiel should realize eventually that they miss each other and really do love each other. In my story, Dad returns and takes his throne back so that would give Amenadiel and Linda plenty of time to fall back in love, especially now that Maze has married and no longer has a reason to be jealous of them. God and Goddess may retire eventually, or at least lighten their load in this dimension so they can work part time in Goddess’s dimension, so it would be nice if Amenadiel wasn’t going to be alone for eternity since he will obviously be second in command, and in charge, when God and Goddess are busy elsewhere. Plus, there’s Charlie and maybe future angel babies???

DAN: I would have shown Lucifer spending more time with Dan but getting frustrated with him like he always did, (and like he did with Mr. SOB), until he finally takes Dan through a rewind of every important scene of the last days of his life, in reverse, to see why he was feeling guilty... he would have landed on Trixie and their game of unicorn armies soon enough. (And by the way... how is it that Lucifer instantly knew the source of Lee’s guilt, and the Professor’s, and apparently everyone else’s in hell, but couldn’t figure out what Dan was feeling guilty about???) The way Dan ended up in Heaven with Charlotte, waffles and chocolate pudding cups was pretty perfect. I wouldn’t change that.

They didn’t need the whole time travel bullshit to pull it off... and it would have made a much better story without it.

MAZE and EVE: Maze and Eve was pretty good... in a movie, we could see more of their daily life, find out if they have a dungeon in their basement... you know, for Saturday night orgies... (or for some quick, fun torture before turning in their bounty catches)... find out if they ever decided to raise a kid together... maybe Trixie went to stay with them when she turned 18?

Plot twist! Maybe something happens to Trixie and Maze sacrifices herself to save her and dies... ends up in Heaven after all. (See below.)

ADAM: I thought the guy they cast for Adam was an odd choice... Eve looked like she came from that region, but he didn’t look like someone who supplied a rib to make her... all things being equal and taking DNA into consideration.... He should have looked more like her.... But oh well, not my place.... Anyway... maybe God can park Adam in Mum’s new universe and see if She can “pull” something better out of him, LoL. Hopefully his first two sons in Her dimension won’t set us all up to be potential homicidal maniacs.

ELLA: Ella and Carol seemed to be getting along ok, we could find out if she finally found a good guy... or does she like tequila too much to stick with him? Does he backslide into drinking and become violent with her? Does she have to defend herself with the taser she keeps on her key ring these days?

LOL. Anyway, there should be a scene where RayRay comes for a visit... maybe two scenes... one where she stops by to say hello right when Ella finds out that celestials are real and then again at the moment of her death. And Ella should feel welcomed and comforted by her friend RayRay in that moment... which could be something violent and dramatic (and very poignant) if it happens when she’s young... like a shooter in the police station or something.

Then she could see Amenadiel and Lucifer when they welcome her into Heaven. After Michael redeems himself, he and Ella might be a great pair in Heaven... she’s always been attracted to bad boys, and Michael, being an ex-bad boy, might be just what she needs... and her heavenly brightness, might be just what he needs! Michael needs somebody to love him and give him the balance that Chloe gives Lucifer. Yes... perfect... and then Michael would also have his eternal mate. Michael could even fly her down to Hell at some point to peek in on Pete… just for shits and giggles.

One final note about Ella... once God returns, now that Ella knows the truth... she will demand a wedding. We all know Ella wouldn’t let Chloe’s baby be born without Chloe being married to the baby daddy... even if he is an angel... and even if the officiant is God... she would want the pomp and circumstance and the flourish for Chloe and for all their friends. (Because their police friends don’t know that Lucifer is an Angel and God-frey is GOD and Lucifer’s brother/aka Officer Amenadiel is an Angel...) she would want to put on the whole shindig as much for them as the for the happy couple! (The fans want it too!) And woweee what a wedding night!

TRIXIE: I would have shown a few short clips and bits or a montage of Trixie as she reached adulthood… not only milestones like getting driver’s license and a not-catholic-Chloe giving her the keys then crossing herself… first kiss, cap and gown pic of high school graduation, but also brief scenes of her holding pic of Dan crying… maybe even looking at her mom’s gun… sitting on Linda’s couch…

Maybe Trixie follows in the family tradition and joins the LAPD when she’s old enough... Pete has been in a mental institution but has conned everyone that he’s sane and is out now… Trixie is in the precinct when Pete shows up bearing a grudge and a semi-automatic pistol… Maze and Eve are there with their latest bounty, Ella is there with some evidence on a case, and is scared when she sees him… Pete shoots at Ella, but Maze jumps him, takes the bullet, starts fighting… Pete isn’t great with a gun (and he’s still crazy) so he misses Ella, but he keeps shooting… then RayRay shows up, tells Ella not to worry, to close her eyes, everything will be fine,(nobody else can see her of course)… Maze ends up saving Trixie and Eve and several other people in the office with her ninja skills, but during the scuffle, one of the bullets hits Ella and several others are deflected, but Maze takes two more hits that would have killed Trixie and Eve and a couple of other officers receive non-life-threatening GSWs. Maze is a tough cookie, but even she can’t survive being shot three times at close range… and RayRay makes sure Ella feels no fear or pain as she transcends then goes back for Maze who survives a little longer. Long enough for a tearful, heartfelt goodbye to Eve... maybe she sings a few bars of Wonderwall? Eve, who, being 13 billion years old herself, may follow her to Heaven with a broken heart (or an aneurism or a ruptured appendix) soon after. Who knows. She’s never been sick before... will she know what to do if she feels a pain in her right side?

Ooooo! I just added this:

As she is dying, Maze thinks Eve’s wound is superficial, (but is it?), and tells Eve she thinks she is “Done, ‘over-and-out” and probably headed for Squee’s chamber of torture in Hell since she’s not sure Lucifer ever finished making the changes regarding who could rule…

After RayRay drops off Ella in Heaven she returns to the precinct massacre… Maze thinks she’s there to take Eve and begs RayRay to let Eve live… To keep us guessing, the scene changes…. SO, did RayRay take only Eve back to Heaven? Or put one under each arm and fly away? Did she take one to Heaven and one to Hell? Stay tuned…

Trixie was saved by Maze’s sacrifice and ultimately becomes a Detective like her mom and dies heroically, in the line, years later, after marrying and giving Chloe and Lucifer a couple of grandchildren to dote over. Happy reunion scene in Heaven with Dad-Dan and Grandma Penelope Decker, meets Grandpa John Decker. Maybe it could do a quick view of the person Trixie gave her life to save who goes on to become a doctor and find a cure for a disease. Framed on the doctor’s desk is a newspaper clipping of a headline, “Ninja Cop Saves Kid” subheading “Officer Subdued Three Suspects Using Karambit, Freed Hostage Before Being Shot”

LINDA: It doesn’t have to be Rory that helps Lucifer figure out that he’s supposed to be a therapist is Hell... LINDA could be the one to point out to Lucifer that he offered Lee, (Mr. Said Out Bitch), some excellent advice, the same way she’s been offering Lucifer advice for the past five years, only Lee actually took that advice (unlike Lucifer who usually skews or screws up her advice)... And that’s why Lee was there in heaven to help him when he crash-landed... “And hey... wouldn’t it be wonderful if someone could give that kind of advice to other souls down in Hell? Because until the moment that YOU TOOK THE TIME to explain it to Lee, NOBODY DOWN THERE KNEW what was causing their hell loops or that they had ANY CHANCE or ANY METHOD of escaping them! Maybe they just needed somebody to give them that clue. What do you think Lucifer? Do you know anybody who might be UNIQUELY QUALIFIED for that job?” — you see??? No need for a friggin' time travel plot device... no need to torture Lucifer, who has already spent billions of years in hell, by taking him away from the love of life and his child for billions more years!

I could also see Lucifer having a standing weekly appointment with Linda both while still living and in Heaven after she passes, to discuss his most difficult cases and get her take on them and opinions on what he should say, which he will get right sometimes and spectacularly fuck up other times!

Linda loves her role as therapist to the celestial world, and her man is God and Goddess’s 2nd in Command now, her son is an angel... she is set for eternity! The doctor is IN!

CHARLIE, RORY, OTHER ANGEL BABIES: After Amenadiel and Linda come to their senses and finally commit to being together, they should have a set of twins, possibly more babies later. Lucifer and Chloe should have at least one more. Angel babies are smart… half humans start normal… get their wings around the time they are potty trained. Linda and Chloe provide discipline, human education… empathy, sympathy, joy, and as much human history as possible. The children would be extremely smart, could skate through school jumping grades… so being home-schooled seems more logical. Controlling excitable, hyperactive children who can fly will prove quite challenging for the human parents, but the angel Daddies are thrilled with their role… teaching them to fly, schooling them about celestial business… Also, they could grow in stature faster than normal human children. They would look grown up by the age of five, but would still be as immature as children and need their mothers to guide their emotional maturity to catch up to their rapid growth.

DECKERSTAR: In my story, we get to see Lucifer and Chloe happy together, raising Trixie and Rory... Chloe always trying to keep her devilish side in check while Daddy's always having fun. Rory has him wrapped around her pinky and he is a doting daddy. She’s a handful, brilliant in school.... Sometimes a little “spirited” and that gets her in trouble.

She gets bullied at school, she says, “back off Billy, you got no idea who my daddy is! Remember the girl that bullied Trixie?

I can picture her first date... Lucifer says, “have her home by 9:30 OR ELSE” and flashes his red eyes...

The first time a date gets fresh with her and she says, “No means NO!” and tosses them out of the car!

Oh hell, watching Lucifer and Chloe raise Rory and Trixie and any other little angels that come along would be hilariously funny... could be it’s own spin off “Devil Daddy Knows Best” or Daddy Devil Knows Best... I can’t decide.

NUDITY: In a movie, we can see more of Lucifer in the nude, and have hotter sex scenes.... Not x-rated or anything, but we could get closer to R-rated... definitely expand on that orgy scene in “Orgy Pants to Work”!!! (Tom’s wife looks enough like Lauren that with the right lighting and camera angles, they could do a lot together using her as Lauren’s body double and with editing, we would never know which was which!!!). And maybe he’d actually KISS HER.

Sure, the whole “Chloe growing older while Lucifer stays young” plot thing is a pain in the ass... for some of the years, he could dye his hair greyer to match hers until it was white, even though his face wouldn’t have aged.... People see what they want to see... but it would have been a lot more heart-wrenching to have a scene where an older-looking Chloe calls a family meeting and asks the children to please understand that society just won’t handle the truth, and they must fake Lucifer’s death so that they can start a new life someplace else where nobody knows them... that means they won’t get to see him very much because he will have to live elsewhere and they can only go visit and have to pretend he’s dead. At least that way, Chloe can see him on weekends and vacations, and he can fly in for quick visits in the middle of the night when either of them get too lonely. They can set things up ahead of time for rendezvous.

At some point, she can retire from the LAPD and announce that she is moving to Florida or Vegas (some place where folks are used to seeing older women with younger men), or whatever, and she can be a cougar and he’s her pool boy? Massage therapist? Chef? (Could be a running joke.)

When she reaches a certain age, it could be a tear jerking scene if she asks him to leave her because she is embarrassed about her failing body, but would he? Why wouldn’t he just agree to allow her to lie to people and say he was living with her because he was her nephew or male nurse or something? Or simply say he was her caretaker… which wouldn’t be a lie… At that point, nobody would know them, and it’s nobody’s business anyway...

And he would definitely be by her bedside when she died, and so would Trixie and Maze and anyone else that was still alive, (if any... or did she outlive them all because she was stuck with the Tree of Life??? Nobody told us if that, and being able to conceive angel babies were the side effects of being stabbed with the Tree of Life...) and upon her death there would be a tender, tearful, “see you soon,” then RayRay would show up, she would transform into her younger self, and Lucifer would fly her to Heaven to see Amenadiel and her Dad, probably her mom by then, and any of their friends if any of them died first.

OR... DECKERSTAR 2nd OPTION:

We could dispense with the whole “she’s growing old and whatever shall we do???” problem, and just have Chloe die doing what she loves best.. protecting somebody in the line of duty. She could be approaching retirement... she and Lucifer could already be having the “I’m starting to look too old to be with you even though you’re dyeing your hair grey... what should we do?” conversation when one day, they are coming out of a fast food joint with the grandkids and bank robbers step out of the bank next door, she yells “LAPD!” they both step in front of the grandkids as she pulls her gun... RayRay shows up one second later… you see where I’m going with this right? Tearful goodbye scene… no rescue this time… Lilith’s ring is empty… this time, it is her human destiny.

After her death, Lucifer would carry her to Heaven to visit her dad and anyone who predeceased her, and then they would travel back and forth together where she would help him redeem souls part of the time in hell. Same outcome as Season 6.

Maybe, since she was a handmade gift from God (via Amenadiel) to start with, God will turn her into an angel and give her matching white luminescent wings so that she can stand beside Lucifer as an equal, and that way, they can also fly to earth now and then for vacations all over the world after all their friends and family members have crossed over (so nobody on earth freaks out from accidentally seeing them again, LoL, but if she outlived everybody anyway... problem solved.) Hey, He’s God, He can do anything, right? ;o)

Along those same lines, in special consideration for all the help and happiness they have brought to Amenadiel and later to Michael, I could also see God and Goddess granting wings and angel status to Linda and Ella so that they can be suitable mates for His sons for their eternity in Heaven, and able to enjoy all of the perks that go along with that… Maybe, if Chloe outlives them all and she is the last to arrive in Heaven, they could even have a little ceremony, where God and Goddess bestow wings and angel status on them all, including Maze and Eve, which might come as a HUGE surprise to Maze, who never dreamed she’s make it to Heaven to begin with.

They could keep the parts where Chloe and Amenadiel work toward cleaning up the LAPD… and we definitely need to hear Tom sing more… a lullaby to his baby… childhood songs when they’re older and of course, show him teaching them the piano and guitar… of course we must have full blown staged musical numbers… maybe have him sing softly to Chloe as she’s sleeping… and/or as she’s dying… it could be amazing. And I loved Bob the Drag Queen… Lux should bring the RuPaul Review and enjoy several of them… they put on a great show!

One more thing... we NEED a making-love scene with Lucifer holding Chloe in his arms while flying! Wings covering everything important, of course, but it is obvious what they’re doing! Joining the mile-high club! How about on the wedding night?!? Whooohooo!!!!! (If Chloe isn’t already pregnant when this wedding night flight happens, maybe this is when Rory is conceived???)

There’s enough there for a movie or about a dozen more episodes of the show... This is only an outline, but but I could write stories myself for some of these ideas… hell, they practically write themselves. Anyway, THAT’S how I would outline a Movie: Lucifer: Revelations… or Lucifer Season 6.66!!!

Now... let’s get busy and do it different this time (with no time travel nonsense and no sadistic torturing DECKERSTAR)! LOL

[julian-alderson]

(  𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙲𝙴  𝙲𝚁𝙰𝚆𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙳  +  𝙲𝙸𝚂  𝙼𝙰𝙽  )  —    have you  seen  𝙹𝚄𝙻𝙸𝙰𝙽  𝙰𝙻𝙳𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽  ?  this  𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚁𝚃𝚈-𝚃𝚆𝙾  year  old  is  a  𝙽𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃  who  resides in  𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙷𝙰𝚃𝚃𝙰𝙽  .  𝙷𝙴  has  been  living in  nyc  for  𝙷𝙸𝚂  𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙸𝚁𝙴  𝙻𝙸𝙵𝙴  ,  and  is  known  to  be  𝚂𝙰𝙽𝙶𝚄𝙸𝙽𝙴  &  𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙲𝙴𝙿𝚃𝙸𝚅𝙴  ,  but  can  also  be  𝙸𝙼𝙿𝚄𝙻𝚂𝙸𝚅𝙴  &  𝙵𝙾𝙾𝙻𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙳𝚈  if  you  cross  them.   people  tend  to associate  them  with  𝙹𝙾𝚄𝚁𝙽𝙰𝙻𝚂  𝙾𝙵  𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚄𝙶𝙷𝚃𝚂  ,  𝙳𝚁𝙰𝚆𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂  𝙰𝙽𝙳  𝚂𝙷𝙾𝚁𝚃  𝚂𝚃𝙾𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚂  &  𝙳𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝙲𝙾𝙵𝙵𝙴𝙴  𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙰𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃  𝙵𝚁𝙾𝙼  𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙿𝙾𝚃  .  

–––  𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑  .

𝙵𝚄𝙻𝙻  𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙴   julian  francis  laurent-alderson

𝙽𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙴(𝚂)   jules 

𝙰𝙶𝙴   thirty-two

𝙳𝙰𝚃𝙴  𝙾𝙵  𝙱𝙸𝚁𝚃𝙷   july 5th

𝚉𝙾𝙳𝙸𝙰𝙲  𝚂𝙸𝙶𝙽   cancer

𝙿𝙻𝙰𝙲𝙴  𝙾𝙵  𝙱𝙸𝚁𝚃𝙷   new york city , new york

𝙶𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁   cis male

𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙽𝙾𝚄𝙽𝚂   he  /  him

𝚂𝙴𝚇𝚄𝙰𝙻  𝙾𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽   bisexual

𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙲  𝙾𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽   biromantic

𝙻𝙰𝙽𝙶𝚄𝙰𝙶𝙴(𝚂)  𝚂𝙿𝙾𝙺𝙴𝙽   english  ,  french  and  others  picked  up  during  travels

𝙲𝚄𝚁𝚁𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝚁𝙴𝚂𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴   new york city , new york

–––  𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘  .

( neglect tw , cheating tw , drugs tw )

——       𝙾𝙽  𝙹𝚄𝙻𝚈 𝟻𝚃𝙷 , 𝟷𝟿𝟾𝟾  ,    julian  francis  laurent-alderson  was  born  in  new  york  city ,  new york  ,  and  grew  up  in  a  dysfunctional  family  .  his  mother  ,  clarissa laurent ,  was  a  renowned   painter  ,  museum  curator  ,  and  heiress  to  an  old  money  &  private  banking  fortune  while  his  father  ,  alexander alderson  ,  was  a  hotshot  lawyer  turned  politician from  a  long  dynasty  of  lobbyists , lawyers , politicians , and  business  executives  . it  was  a  story  as  old  as  capitalism  ;  two  affluent  families  consolidating  their  fortunes  through  marriage  to  gain  more  power  and  influence  .  both  clarissa  and  alexander  knew  the  profits  of  their  relationship    —  and  love  was  never  supposed  to  be  part  of  it  .    it  was  a  marriage  solely  for  mutual  gain  and  practical  purposes  .  

——   still  ,  they  thought  that  having  a  child  would  make  their  marriage  more  authentic ,  that  raising  a  child  together  would  make  what  they  have  more  than  what  it  was  .  but  as  expected  ,  neither  clarissa  nor  alexander  were  fit  to  raise  a  child  —   never  even  saw  it  as  a  priority  that  should  be  place  above  their  business  and  personal  interests  .   the  responsibility  to  be  julian’s  caretakers  were  placed  on  a  revolving  door  of  nannies  and  tutors  who  were  more  focused  on  rearing  him  to  meet  alexander  and  clarissa’s  expectations  of  how  a  heir  should  be  ,   which  resulted  to  a  lack  of  an  affectionate  and  consistent  parenting  during childhood  .

——  they  maintained  the  portrait  of  a  perfect  family  for  alexander’s  political  campaigns  and  clarissa’s  socialite  circles  —  only  ever  involving  their  heir  for  photo  ops  and  to  parade  him  around  as  their  beautiful ,  picture  perfect  child  .  but  despite  the  emotional  neglect  he  suffered  from  his  very  own  parents  ,  julian  still  grew  up  to  be  a  well-behaved  ,  intelligent  child  .  he  found  solace  in  literature ,  history  ,  music  and  art   —   he  read  about  greek  adventures  and  wished  he  could  be  saved  by  the  same  heroes  ,  he  learned  about  the  lives  of  people  he  wished  he  was  ,  and  tried  to  find  a  deeper  meaning  in  art  and  music  in  a  desperate  search  for  the  meaning  of  his  own  pain  and experiences  . 

——   as  he  continued  to  read  books  and  learned  how  to  listen  to  his  own  and  other  people’s  emotions  ,  julian  discovered  his  own  affinity  for  writing  stories  .  he  began  to  write  poetry  ,  short  stories ,  essays ,  and  journals  of  his  own  everyday  experiences   —   developing  his  talents  throughout  the  years  .  he  frequented  bookstores  and  libraries ,  choosing  to  spend  his  time  surrounded  by  the  things  he  loved  rather  than  feel  the  emptiness  of  his  home  .

——   nonetheless  ,  there  was  always  a  part  of  himself  that  yearned  for  his  parents’  love  and  attention .  he  entered  writing  competitions  ,  won  trophies  and  received  praise  from  his  peers  and  teachers   —  but  still ,  they  were  not  enough  for  alexander  and  clarissa  to  finally  look  at  him  and  say  they  were  proud  of  him  .  clarissa  had  always  been  apathetic ,  concerned  with  her  own  art  and  vanity  ,  while  alexander  did  not  like  how  julian  strayed  away  from  the  path  they  clearly  paved  for  him  to  become  the  typical  alderson  in  the  political  or  business  world  .   so  came  julian’s  other  attempts  to  get  their  attention  .  

  ——  it  was  a  cliché ,  a  story  written  thousands  of  times   —  a  teenager  rebelling  against  their  parents’  wishes  and  getting  involved  with  the  bad  crowd  .  but  it  was  effective .  the  laurent-aldersons  could  not  afford  their  name  to  be  tarnished  and  when  word  of   julian’s  failing  grades ,  absences ,  and  use  of  illicit  substances  (  that  they ,  too , use  but  knew  how  to  be  perfectly  discreet  about  it  ) ,  alexander  and  clarissa  finally  acknowledged  their  son  .  it  didn’t  matter  to  julian  that  the  reaction  he  got  was  less  than  positive  ,  only  relieved  that  they  finally  saw  him  and  he  knew  what  it  would  take  to  get  their  attention  again  .  

——   although  his  rebellious  streak  against  his  parents  was  somewhat  short-lived ,  julian  retained  that  thirst  for  the  rush  and  adrenaline  ,  the  thrills  and  excitements  of  first  times  and  following  sudden  impulses  .  exploring  his  sexuality  ,   experimenting  with  drugs  ,  meeting  new  people  ,  doing  things  that  made  his  heart  race  ,  fall  in  love  once  or  twice   —  julian  did  it  all  ,  and  he  knew  they  would  all  be  wonderful  stories  one  day  .  

——  it  was  through  his  experiences  that  he  realized  that  he  didn’t  really  care  anymore  if  he  had  his  parents’  validation  ,  decisions  now  made  for  himself   rather  than  if  it  would  impress  or  frustrate  his  parents  .  of  course  ,  college  was  an  argument   —  julian  always  knew  he  wanted  to  be  a  writer  while  his  parents  wanted  him  to  be  capable  of  inheriting  their  legacies  and businesses  .  and  after  sessions  of  fights  and  threats  ,  they  made  a  compromise  for  julian  to  pursue  both   —  get  his  writing  degree ,  then  attend  business  school  in  his  choice  of  country  so  he  can  have  something  to  fall  back  on  if  his  writing  career  didn’t  work  out  .  it  was  a  win  either  way  ,  a  story  he  could  write  one  day  and  a  fresh  environment  for  inspiration  .  

——  julian  went  to  columbia  university ,  graduating  early  after  taking  more  than  a  full load  of  classes  and  attending  summer  and  spring  intersessions  every  year  so  that  he  could  quickly  focus  on   his  writing  career  .   sure  ,  it  was  difficult  and  maybe ,  even  failed some  of  his  classes  except  for  the  important  ones   —  but  it  was  all  worth  it  .  and  just  before  he  graduated  ,  he  managed  to  publish  a  book  titled  sylvan dreams   , a  compilation  of  short  stories  he  had  written  over  the  years  starting  from  he  was  a  teenager . 

——  business  school  in  paris  was  much  more  difficult  ,  a  struggle  that  needed  the  help  of  friends  and  tutors  for  him  to  push  through  but  he  made  it  .   and  to  make  it  all  better  ,   julian  fell  in  love  with  the  city  and  living  in  such  a  place  ,  maybe ,  he  fell  in  love  with  a  couple  of  people  ,  too  .  he  always  managed  to  see  the  good  in  every  situation  ,  to  see  lessons  in  adversaries  and  sometimes ,  see  pain  just  for  what  they  were   —   pain  .   but  whatever  happened  to  him  ,   julian  didn’t  want  to  regret  any  of  it  .   

——   after  he  finished  business  school  ,  julian  began  to  travel  around  the  rest  of  europe  —   falling  in  love  with  every  city  and  every  town  .  he  never  stayed  in  one  place  for  too  long  ,  always  on   the  move  to  see  more  of   what  the  world  had  to  offer  as  he  wrote  his  books   and   sometimes  ,  broke  deals  for  his  parents  during  his  travels  overseas  .  it  was  definitely  all  for  the  best  as  traveling  prohibited  himself  from  being  too  work-oriented  and  always  being  surrounded  by  different  people  meant  new  stories  he  could  experiences  and  tell . 

——  after  years  and  years  of  temporary  addresses  and  constant  packing  and  unpacking  ,  julian  finally  decided  to  come  back  to  new  york  when  his  champagne-drunk  mother  told  him  about  his  father’s  numerous  affairs  and  how  his  father  got  someone  pregnant and  they  had  to  pay  the  woman  off  to  keep  it  a  secret  so  that  it  wouldn’t  ruin  his  campaign .  it  was  a  drunk  confession  ,  something  his  mother  simply  scoffed  at  and  never  mentioned  again   —  but  it  was  a  story  that  he  needed  to  learn  more  about  ,  a  lost  sibling  out  there  that  he  needed  to  find  .  under  the  guise  of  a  novel  he  wanted  to  write ,  a  book  about  a  child  given  away  for  adoption  and  their  sibling  looking  for  them ,  julian  began  his  research  and  interviewing  people  around  new  york  that  could  fit  the  bill  of  his  missing  sibling  .  

–––  𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 /  𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 

—— 𝚂𝚈𝙻𝚅𝙰𝙽  𝙳𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙼𝚂 ( open  to  anyone  around  the  same  age  as  him  and  grew  up  in  new  york )  —  a   compilation  of  short  stories  from  his  adolescence .  this  connections  are  for  the  friends  he  grew  up  and  shared  all  his  secrets  with .  and  although  they  have  all  grown  up  to  be  different  people  and  drifted  apart  in  some  ways  throughout  the  years  ,  they’re  all  still  in  each  other’s  teams  and  would  never  miss  each  other’s  calls  if  they  can  help  it  . 

—— 𝚂𝙴𝙻𝙴𝙽𝙴  ( open  to  m / f / nb , must  be  same  age  as  julian )  —  a  book  loosely  based  on  his  first  love  .  they  have  known  each  other  since  childhood  and  it  was  this  thing  were  they  always  joked  that  they  were  gonna  marry  each  other  since  they  were  kids  .  they  didn’t  actually  start  dating  until  the  later  part  of  high  school  but  it  was  just  this  cute  romance  ,  voted  prom  king  and  queen  ,  everyone  was  envious  of  their  relationship  .  but  after  high  school  ,  they  probably  had  different  plans  and  slowly  fell  out  of  in  love  with  each  other  during  college  until  they  had  to  make  a  mutual  decision  to  break  up .  maybe ,  some  old  lingering  feelings  because  of  being  each  other’s  first  love  but  maybe ,  some  what  could  have  been  but  overall ,  it  was  all  for  the  best  . 

—— 𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳𝙽'𝚃  𝙸𝚃  𝙱𝙴  𝙽𝙸𝙲𝙴 ?  ( open  to  anyone )   —  a  book  about  two  tourists  who  met  in  nice ,  france  and  fell  in  love  .   so ,  this  is  probably  someone  julian  met  while  he  was travelling  throughout  europe  and  they  hit  it  off  due  to  both  being  originally  from  new  york  .  they  probably  spent  a  week  together  sightseeing ,  going  to  bars  together ,  getting  closer  and  intimate  with  each  other .  maybe ,  if  given  more  time  ,  they  would  have  fallen  in  love  each  other  but  after  that  week ,  they  had  to  move  on   with  their  lives  .  and  now  ,  imagine  them  bumping  into  each  other  again  but  in  new  york  .  

——  he probably has a couple more books but i can’t think of anything KFDSFKF so i’m definitely open to other connections if y’all have any ideas !!!

[ger-bearofrivia]

Be Broken or be Brave 💌

Warning: angst, there is mentions of verbal and physical abuse, also child neglect.

A/N:This is my very first The witcher fic and my spelling is atrocious so sorry about that. I hope you enjoy! :)

Summary: Jaskier comes from a wealthy family who arranged a marriage with someone whom he isn’t in love with. Instead he is in love with his friend who is of lower class. These two have been together secretly for a while but they cannot let his family know. Jaskier being the youngest of five kids (all boys may I add) tends to get bullied by his brothers about his lanky looks. Compared to his brothers they who were more muscularly built and has very defined features, everyone seems to think they are more attractive. Because he got the short straw of the bunch his parents think he will never find love thus arranging this marriage. They even throw him a huge party to announce the engagement.  He always knew it more to spite him and to show their accomplishment of finding someone who would want to be with Jaskier.

He knew what his parents were doing, setting up this big fancy ball just so he can announce an unwanted marriage, with a person who he did not love, to people who he really didn’t care about. The only person that mattered to him was the girl who was standing within the crowd intently staring at him with a small smile tugged at her lips. She looked absolutely jaw dropping gorgeous tonight. Wearing a simple dress that accents her beauty rather than drown her in fancy beading and embroidery.

 She was not of the same social class as the rest of the people in the room, and just being friends with her, made Jaskier’s family scrunch their snotty uptight faces up in disgust. But that never stopped you two from being friends, in fact it brought you two even closer. So close that the both of you were secretly in love, and have been for a number of years, constantly sneaking off to be with your forbidden lover. Your parents unlike Jaskier’s actually adored him and saw him as a son. Being with your family actually showed him what it was like to be loved. Not like some castaway like his family made him feel. 

From a young age his parents made it known to him that he was a mistake, a product of accidental conception and knowingly allowed his four older brothers to torture him both verbally and physically. How many days he had to escape and limp his way to your house for aid because Charles punched him too hard leaving a huge black bruise on his ribs or Martin telling the whole school that he was a late bloomer and hadn’t lost his virginity yet (which you know from a fact is not true.) The worst he’s ever told you was when Sebastian and Emiel pinned him down on to the bed and suffocated him to near death with a pillow. All this was slid under the carpet by their parents, hell you come to think that they’d even encourage it at times. He was always told that he’d never find love and he’d have to depend on them on fining a suitor for him. Which led to this very day at the ball. When you walked into the room and the Viscountess saw you, she immediately chuckles sticking her nose in the air and whispered insults about how you were more dressed to be in the peasants quarters rather than her sons engagement ball. 

Once he escaped the grasp of his parents who were introducing him to loads of people he would never remember the names of, he makes his way over you, his smile growing wider with every step. “you look beautiful my love.” He whispered as he took your hand and spun you around. You thanked him laughing as this was a common thing he did when complementing you. “Words can’t fathom how much I want to kiss those lips of yours right now.” He whined. 

“I know my love, I do too, but we can’t you know that.” He lets out another whine. 

“one day I’m going to have you all to myself with no family, random people, or fake wife. Just us two by the coast, having luncheons on the beach as I try to teach you how to play the lute.”

“And get frustrated because I can’t get my fingers to stay in the right positions but all in all we laugh it off like the other hundred times you tied to teach me. Maybe you’ll have luck with our kids?”

“Of course I’ll have luck with them they are my kids after all. I’ll teach them everything from how to play the lute, singing, songwriting. They’re going to be amazing”

You laugh again. “yes well create the cutest musical geniuses that the continent has ever seen”you’ve always loved how he’s talked about your future together it melted  your heart. “How I want that life right now.”

He sighs “I know my beloved we’ll have it soon enough.” He pulls you into a quick hug planting an ever so needed kiss onto your neck. There was a sudden tapping on a glass that caught everyone’s attention. 

“It is now time for my son to make the all awaited announcement .” The viscount said. Julien let out a sigh of frustration before turning back to you. 

“Soon we’ll have our paradise my love but for now I gotta go.” You gave him an assuring nod. He walks up to his father standing next to him. You pushed through the crowd to get a clear view n the front.

“I Julian Alfred Pankratz will not take Lizanne Waldtraut to be my wife. I Instead would like to ask y/n to take her place.” You look at him with shock. 

"Mother, father you can disown me how ever you’d like, but I will not take anymore torment  from this family on who you want me to be. Instead I will decide my future for who I am.  I know where my heart belongs and that’s with y/n, she makes me feel  more loved than this family ever did. Unlike you she encourages me to challenge myself. What do you do? You bring me down and say I’ll never live up to my goals. That I’m practically worthless compared to my brothers and that you have to choose a career for me because I’ll never get anywhere in life with the career of music." 

"Julian” you pause tears in your eyes. He turns back to you and spoke softly so no one but you could hear. 

“My love I want to spend the rest of my life with you. We don’t need any of my families blood money. We can find a little cottage in a nice village on the coast close enough for your family to come visit. Just like we always dreamt of”

“How would we pay fo…” He cuts you off taking your hands and squeezing then assuringly. 

“We can use the money I’ve been saving up from gigs I’ve played.” 

You sniffle a bit and he smiles wiping away some tears. “Are you sure? You’ve worked so hard for that money” 

“I haven’t been sure about a lot of things in my 18 years of life but this.” He gestures to the both of you “what we have is special. You mean so much to me and I want to make you feel the same even if it takes the rest of my life.”

“You already do my love. Every day I get to spend with you is a blessing.””

“Will you y/f/n of Redania do me the godly honor and be my wife?” He gets down on one knee and opens the small wooden box that held his grandmothers ring. His mother lets out a ghastly gasp.  

“How did you get your grandmother’s ring! That was supposed to be saved for Sebastian’s proposal, not yours!” 

“Grandmother personally gave it to me. It was her dying wish to see this family heirloom to go to the right person.” he paused. “You know she was the only one in this family that saw how bad you treated me compared to my siblings. She said that she doesn’t understand what she did wrong to raise such an entitled bitch like you.” She gasped agin this time whipping her hand across his cheek causing the guests around you to be flabbergasted. Julians hand came up to rub the hot aching skin. 

“Get your grimy little paws off this ring.” She snatched it out of his hands handing it to her husband. “This was never meant for you. And to think I decided to keep you. You were a mistake and I should have gotten rid of you the second I found out I was pregnant with you. You abomination of a child of course you’d fall in love with a peasant like her. You two were made for each other. Leave the both of you I never want to see either of you ever again!” She signaled for the guards to come. Before they could take you held out your hand stopped them from touching you. You had no words to explain how furious you were with this family. The fact that no one had stopped her from saying those horrid things made you think that everyone who attended the gathering should rot in hell. These people who Julian had thought were his friends who he had grown up with just allowed her to say that with not a care in the world. Fake, false, arrogant rats was all that ran through your head as you walked up to the viscountess and threw a punch with force that you didn’t know you had. Blood runs down her chin, your vision was blurred, the punch felt too good, anger and the need for revenged pumped through your veins as you lift your hand again but this time you were stoped by the guards who grabbed your arms and dragged you out of the ballroom while you screamed profanities at them. Julian following closely behind. The doors of the manor slammed as you and Julian stood outside of what used to be his home. Looking over at him he looked almost unfazed about what happened.

“Julian I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” 

“No, no it’s okay my love. I’ve developed quite the thick skin dealing with there bullshit for years.” He tried to hide the pain and sadness in his voice. You knew that was a lie. He was always more of the sensitive type that always took criticism and harsh swords to heart. Usually you knew how to make him feel better but in this situation you just feel lost.  “ honestly I expected the mass humiliation from her but definitely not the punch. Not gonna lie it was kind of hot” you let out a small laugh. 

“Yeah well all I could see was red. How dare she do that to someone.” You sadly look down tears running down your face when you remembered the gorgeous ring he had briefly given to you. “The ring Julian I’m so sorry about the ring. That demon spawn took the only thing left that you had left of your grandmother.” You looked up at him with sad eyes. Surprisingly he had a look of content on his face. 

“She didn’t get anything. I had a cheep exact replica made. I have the real one right here to fulfill my grandmother’s doting wish” he pulled out a small wooden box with beautiful engravings on it while getting down on one knee. “I’m not going to say anything else to delay this any longer than it already has. Y/f/n will you marry me?” 

You break down crying nodding like a mad man. “Yes. I will marry you Julian”

“Good because I can’t wait to make you my wife.” He kisses you pulling away to look you in the eyes. “Now let’s go show your family.” You both walk away from the manor mot looking back. He wraps an arm around your shoulders and you intertwined your fingers. He pecks your temple before raising his free arm up and said. “Im free!”

[trihearts-bull-corner]

Prompt Challenge

So this is my writing prompt challenge. It is a very long list, and some of the quotes are very long. Every line is from my favorite author, Sherrilyn McQueen (previously known as Sherrilyn Kenyon). Quotes that inspire fluff, romance, and/or angst

[[MORE]]

You have the optimism of a child. (Julian) Peter Pan all the way. (Grace)

Life isn't finding shelter in the storm. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

But as the Roman playwright Terence once wrote, From many a bad beginning great friendships have formed

I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.

I marvel at the fact you’ve lived to your age and no one’s taken those rose-colored glasses and shoved them up your ass.

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

Oh contraire, mon frère. I’m able to annoy anyone in ten syllables or less. Sometimes, I don’t even have to speak at all. I just walk into the room and it rankles them.

It's easy to look at people and make quick judgments about them, their present and their past, but you'd be amazed at the pain and tears a single smile hides. What a person shows to the world is only one tiny facet of the iceberg hidden from sight. And more often then not, it's lined with cracks and scars that go all the way to the foundation of their soul.

You’re not done with me entirely, human. I’m the mother of his daughter. (CharacterA) You’re right. You are ____'s mother, poor her. But you’re wrong about one thing. (characterB) And that is? (CharacterA) I’m no longer human. I’m the Atlantie Kedemonia Theony – the guardian of the Atlantean gods. And right now there’s only one of them walking about and to save him from one more bad memory created by you, I’d bathe in your entrails, bitch. As for ___, she’s a big girl – I know, I used to live with her. She’ll survive the death of her mother. Trust me, I have firsthand experience with the subject. (characterB)

"How can anyone be afraid of love?" (CharacterA) "When you love someone... truly love them, friend or lover, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt—you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it's crippling—like having your heart carved out. It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them want to hurt you so badly when all you did was love them. What is so wrong with you that no one can keep faith with you? That no one can love you? To have it happen once is bad enough... but to have it repeated? Who in their right mind would not be terrified of that?" (characterB)

Aren't you an enigma wrapped in a thick coating of contradictions.

Sometimes things have to go wrong in order to go right.

Do you want my input or is this just an angry tirade you need to vent? (CharacterA) Both! (characterB) Okay, you rant and I’ll add my comments at the end. (CharacterA)

We have three kinds of family. Those we are born to, those who are born to us, and those we let into our hearts

I assure you, princess, if you saw the real me, you’d run for cover. (CharacterA) Only if I knew you’d be waiting under that cover for me. (characterB)

"Oh God, I just kissed a vampire!" "Oh Gods, I just kissed a human!"

I have a computer, a vibrator, and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?

Bitch please...you haven't seen mean yet.

"____! I won’t leave you here to die." (CharacterA) It’s okay, princess. I don’t mind dying for you. (characterB)

Life is a tapestry woven by the decisions we make.

If brute force doesn't work, you aren't using enough

You know the incredible thing about hearts is their unbelievable capacity for forgiveness. You’d be amazed what people will overlook when they love someone

my balls if you crawl inside a bottle and pickle yourself solid. I’ve got other things to think about now. But let me remind you of something a good friend once said to me when I was being eaten alive by feelings I didn’t understand. ‘Even when my marriage was bad, it was good.’ I had no real idea what you meant that night, but now I do and I’m grateful to the gods I can finally believe in that I took a chance on something that almost killed me. The life I have now…no, the woman I have now is worth every rotten moment of my worthless existence that led me to her door, and I would relive it all to have one kiss from her lips. You’re the one who told me that the right woman was a shelter from the storm

I wasn't born, I was unleashed.

She couldn’t very well let him join her in bed like that. Sure you could. No I can’t. Please? Hush, self, let me think.

We almost made it to thirty seconds without an insult. I think we set a new record

Get off me, you lard-ass, halitosis, flea-infested horror-movie reject! 

I thought only a wooden stake through the heart killed a vampire. (CharacterA) A wooden stake through the heart will kill just about anything. And if it doesn't, run like hell (characterB)

You’re the only thing I’ve ever done right in my entire life and if anything ever happened to you, they’d have to dig two graves ‘cause I couldn’t live a single day without my baby beside me. (parent to child)

You know, I would date, if I could find a man worth shaving my legs for. 

C'mon, Tabitha. You stabbed me the night we met without even blinking. (CharacterA) Yeah, but you were a dirtbag then. (characterB) I think I'm offended. (CharacterA)

I learned a long time ago not to judge people by what they look like, sound like, or by the clothes they wear. Just because a house is nice and shiny out front doesn’t mean it’s not rotting on the inside.

you're right ___. I am a selfish bastard. I had to be, because no one else gave a single shit about me except me

I have found my star. She is beauty and grace. Elegance and goodness. My laughter in winter. She is courageous and strong. Bold and tempting. Unlike any other in all the universe, and I cannot touch her. I dare not even try

I’m here because I know the sadness inside you. I know what it feels like to wake in the morning, lost and lonely and aching for someone to be there with me

What are you doing? (CharacterA) I'm getting into my car. (characterB) You own this?! (CharacterA) No. I'm stealing it with the key in my hand. (characterB)

So, does this make you visibly challenged? (CharacterA) No, but if you don’t lay off me, I’m going to make you breathing impaired. (characterB)

I'm the top of the food chain and well...you're the food

___ says that tragedy and adversity are the stones we sharpen our swords against ao that we can fight new battles.

Sure. My ego's had enough time to recover a modicum of dignity. Let's make sure we crush it again before I mistake myself for a god

Human will is the strongest will ever created. There are those who are born to succeed and those who are determined to succeed. The former fall into it, and the latter pursue it at all costs. They won’t be denied. Nothing daunts them.

You know when people say fine, it generally means ‘leave me the hell alone because I don’t want to talk about what’s really bothering me

Baby, I ain't trash. Trash is something you throw away. My people keep me.

We're not the damned, folks, we're the categorically fucked. 

So is there any part of you that’s not a lethal weapon? (CharacterA) No. Even my wits are sharpened. (characterB)

The worst wounds, the deadliest of them, aren't the ones people see on the outside. They're the ones that make us bleed internally

The past is dead. Tomorrow will become whatever decision you make it.

Strength through adversity. The strongest steel is forged by the fires of hell. It is pounded and struck repeatedly before it’s plunged back into the molten fire. The fire gives it power and flexibility, and the blows give it strength. Those two things make the metal pliable and able to withstand every battle it’s called upon to fight.

Love is deceitful and sublime. In its truest form, it brings out the best in all beings. At its worse, It's a tool used to manipulate and ruin any one who is stupid enough to hold it. Don't be stupid

Forgiveness is the best part of valor...Discretion is easy. It's finding the courage to forgive yourself and others that is hard

Even if I were lying on the sun itself, I would be freezing there without you

I learned the bad guys are not always bad, the good guys are not always good, and to quote Captain Barbossa, the parameters are like rules, mostly guidelines. And that it takes a little bit of bad boy to fight the evil in the world.

Laugh it up, asshole. But she who laughs last laughs longest, and I intend to belly roll tonight

I think infatuation is like a garden. If tended and cared for, it grows into love. If neglected or abused it dies. The only way to have eternal love is to never let your heart forget what it's like to live without it.

What? It's not my fault I stab all the fanged people. They shouldn't look like vampires. (CharacterA) I didn't look like a vampire, but you stabbed me. (characterB) Yeah, well, you looked like a lawyer so I had to kill you. It was a moral imperative. (CharacterA)

Where are you anyway? (CharacterA) I don't know. I hear some godawful kind of music from outside, horns blaring, and I'm in a house with a Mohawk cuckoo bird, a transvestite, and a knife-wielding lunatic. (characterB) Why are you at ____'s? (CharacterA)

You’re selfish and you’re cold, and I’m tired of getting frostbite when I touch you

He who lets fear rule him, has fear for a master

Be kind to dragons, for thou art crunchy when toasted and taste good with ketchup

If you have any care for ____ at all, don't leave him in darkness. It's not fair to show someone the sun and then to banish him from it. Even the devil may cry when he looks around hell and realizes that he's there alone

Have you ever wanted something that you knew was bad for you? Something that you ached for so much you could think of nothing else?

Gee, thanks Dad. I promise to be a good boy and play nice with the other kids.(CharacterA) Smart ass. (characterB) Better than a dumb ass.(CharacterA)

I'm too young, too smart and too good-looking to die.

You're so afraid of being hurt that you attack first. Only those who really care about you will weather the assault of your verbal attacks and stay. The rest will fall away.

Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live

The most beautiful heart of all is the one that can still love even while it bleeds, and especially after its been broken into thousands of pieces.

Just how many sisters do you have? (CharacterA) Eight. (characterB) Eight? (CharacterA) What? (characterB) I'm just pitying whatever poor males lived in that house with all of you. It must have been truly frightening at least one week out of every month. (CharacterA) Was that a joke? (characterB) Merely a frightening statement of fact. (CharacterA)

There, there, baby. We'll hide her body in the trunk later.

Sorrow spares no one, and scars respect no person.

Yeah, it never fails to amaze me how a single lie can undo an entire lifetime of good

Is he a good boy? (CharacterA) No, Mom, he’s Satan incarnate. In fact, once it’s over, we’re going to get liquored up and tattooed, then find some cheap hos and have a good time with his trust fund. (characterB)

Oh no, no, no! Are you going to suck my blood? (CharacterA) Do I look like a lawyer to you? (characterB)

Hey, yummy leather guy? Can you hear me? 

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss other people. Life's too short to worry about what other people do or don't do. Tend your own backyard, not theirs, because yours is the one you have to live in

It would have really cramped my future plans had I died. 

No power from above can make one human love another. Love comes from within the heart.

There are always three sides to every memory…yours, theirs, and the truth, which lies somewhere in between the two

You don’t knock on the devil’s door, boy, unless you want him to answer.

Take care of him, ____. And remember it takes great courage and heart for a man who knows no kindness to show it to another. Even the wildest of beasts can be tamed by a patient and gentle hand.

To infinity then. (CharacterA)  What’s that mean? (characterB) It’s something my dad used to say when I was a kid. To infinity, meaning you’d see something through to the end. (CharacterA) Infinity is never-ending. (CharacterB) That’s right, which means you keep going and going no matter what happens or what obstacles you meet. Over, under, around or through. There’s always a way. And if you have to chase something to infinity, strap on your big-boy pants, hiking boots, and go. (CharacterA)

Whoa, what is this? Battle of the Sarcastic and Pissed? Should I make popcorn? Forget American Idol, man. This is much more entertaining

Life is serious. (CharacterA)  No, life is an adventure. It's thrilling and scary. Sometimes it's even a bit boring, but it should never be serious. (characterB)

You can take my life, but you'll never break me. So bring me your worst… And I will definitely give you mine.

Just remember, anger is always your enemy. You must keep your emotions in check. The moment you lose control of them, you lose the fight every time.

It’s a responsibility that I take most seriously, so excuse me for banning you from killing them because you have reverse PMS. (CharacterA) Reverse PMS? (characterB) Yeah, unlike a normal woman, you’re cranky twenty-eight days out of the month. (CharacterA)

You are the only warmth in my heart. The only sunshine my winter has ever known

I wonder why no one called the police about the rocket launcher? God knows my neighbors usually report it if I so much as fart in my backyard.

I am a socially awkward mandork. 

What else can I do to piss you off? (CharacterA) You can leave me. (characterB) I would never do that, ____. No one can live without their heart and that’s what you are to me. (CharacterA)

What planet are you from? Obviously Planet Insanity was missing a local, long-term resident.'

Actions that sometimes seem mean aren’t. Rather they are done by the ones we love in order to protect us without our knowing it.

Knock, knock. (CharacterA) Now, ain't this a bitch. Here I am, trying to kiss my girl, and you have to interrupt us. What, were you raised in a barn? By the way, touch the woman, or the Lamborghini, and you're a dead man. (characterB)

The wealth of a soul is measured by how much it can feel... its poverty by how little

You’re human. No one cares if you sleep with a whore. (CharacterA) (characterB did something she’d never in her life done before. She slapped another person.) You ever insult ____ again and so help me, I’ll do to you what you allowed your brother to do to him. I’ll cut your tongue out for it. ____ is the man I love and no one, ever, takes issue with him without having issues with me. (characterB)

Your destiny is shaped by choice, never by chance. Beware the decisions you make, no matter how small, for they will be your salvation...or your death.

Wake up, ____. Your psychotic criminal is playing with knives.

I accept you as you are, and I will always hold you close in my heart. I will walk beside you forever

Words are easy to say, but emotions betray the best intentions.

Because I have no boobs. My ears stand out, and I have freckles all over me. (CharacterA) Boobs? (characterB) Breasts. (CharacterA) You have very nice breasts. (CharacterB) Thanks. What about you? (CharacterA) I have no breasts. (characterB)

I love you, I love you, I love you! And if you ever die on me again, I'll kill you so dead!

I'm old enough to make you look like an embryo. 

How did you get me here? (CharacterA)I have my evil Jedi ways. The Force is strong with this one. (characterB)

Have you ever noticed that salvation, much like your car keys, is usually found where and when you least expect it?

The man may not be dead, but he was certainly stiff. And this had nothing to do with rigor mortis

He was like some wild, untamed creature that you could keep and feed for a time, but in the end you knew you'd have to let it go for its own sake as well as yours

I will fear no evil for I am the baddest bitch in the land

Ironically no one ever wants to hear what I have to say about anything. They usually argue with me to the point I want to put them through a wall. Hopefully you won’t be so dense

So you're the infamous ____. (CharacterA) Lord and Master of the great barbarian horde that roams the night. (characterB)

No one should have to pay for love in flesh or blood. 

Should I ask about the handcuffs? (CharacterA) Not unless you want to live...otherwise if anyone asks, tell them I died of a heart attack during a wild sexcapade with her. (characterB)

A flower can't grow without rain. (CharacterA) Too much rain and it drowns. (characterB) And yet the most beautiful of the lotus flowers are the ones that grow in the deepest mud. (CharacterA)

I’ve spent my entire life listening to people tell me why I can’t be loved and how I’m nothing but a worthless piece of shit. I always told myself that I didn’t care, that I didn’t need anyone else. It was a lie, you know. I do care and I want ____. If it costs me my life to be with her, it doesn’t matter. I’ve already lived past my prime, anyway. I get up every morning with more pain in my joints than the day before. If I have to die, I’d rather die knowing someone cared about me, just once. Is that really too much to ask? (CharacterA) For us? Yes. It is. We are the gutter and the gutter is all we’ll ever be. Don’t reach out for the stars. They’ll burn you until there’s nothing left. (characterB) Then let me burn. (CharacterA)

Should I warm the oven and bake you a batch of hero cookies? 

I don’t even know what to say to you. (CharacterA) Me, either. I guess we’ll just stand here and cry at each other, huh? (characterB)

Everyone cries sometimes, ____. There are some pains that run too deep for even the strongest to take without breaking. I don’t think any less of you for it.

Please nothing, she’s a vicious piranha. She looks all cute and cuddly, then she opens that mouth and lets loose so much venom she could double as a nest of scorpions

Don't worry, ___. I'm an acquired taste. Most of my best friends had to know me for years before they could even stand my presence. I'm like mold, I usually grow on you very slowly

You know, I've walked this earth for over eleven thousand years, my lady. I have seen things in my life that are unimaginable to you, and you ask me if I doubt you? Lady, I doubt the very air you breathe

(CharacterA) "You are naked."......"You are so naked" (characterB) - "I know" (CharacterA) "You are naked!" (characterB)  "We've established that." (CharacterA) "You're happy and naked." (characterB)"What?

Please don’t let it be another cop. I’m outta bail money. Wait a minute…I could sell you on eBay and make a killing. (CharacterA) Not in my current condition. You’d have to sell ___ or ____. I’m sure there’s someone willing to buy two perfectly good white boys. (characterB)

Hey!" (CharacterA) snapped as he realized (CharacterB) was about to lock him on the outside with their attackers. He pushed the door open and glared at him. "No man left behind." (characterB) scoffed. "This aint' the army, boy. It's every man for himself. Fall behind. Get eaten!"

I marvel at the fact you’ve lived to your age and no one’s taken those rose-colored glasses and shoved them up your ass.

Because I don’t feel broken when you look at me. (CharacterA) How could you feel broken? (characterB) I was shattered as a child and thrown away, like a piece of trash no on wanted. But you don’t treat me like that. You see in me the human bit and you touch that part of me. You make me feel whole and wanted. (CharacterA)

Fate is a bitch with a wicked since of humor and today I'm her punchline

If you're going to hell buddy, I'm driving the bus

I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six

If I am to be judged it will be for who I am. Not for who I'm trying to become

I will count the heartbeats until I see you again

It's official take a psycho to work day. Why else would I be here?

The bitterest pain of all is when you can only hold someone in your heart who you used to hold in your arms

Pain baptizes us all without prejudice or mercy

Whatever doesn't kill me better run like hell

True love will always find it's way through paths where even feral lorinas fear to prey

So goes my incentive to fight fairly. You want fair, play with kids. You wanna come at me, make out a will.

People who don't know me, think I'm quiet. People who do, wish I was.

Shall I show you to the door... Or would you rather go out through the wall?

Before you rattle my cage, you'd best make sure I'm padlocked in it

There are two ways out of this room. The window behind you and the door behind me..... You might survive the window.

Everyday do one thing that scares you. Or one thing that scares other people

The truth spills as quickly from furious lips as a lie. The trick is to learn which is meant to wound and which is meant to enlighten.

We all have out burdens... Just some of us have the ones that strike to kill us vindictively

If you want to see exactly how angry someone can get, tell them to calm down when they're already pissed off!

Don't be afraid to love. Yes its a weakness, but it's a source of greatest strength you'll ever know.

Because you are taking the most important parts of me with you, ___..... My heart and my soul. You are not just my wife. You are what sustains me.

Talk is cheap. Pain is free and I'm peddling the shit out of it. So you come and get some.

Why be difficult when with a little bit of effort you can be impossible

The lies we tell ourselves to survive seldom bring peace to our hearts

Destruction is good for my soul, but it sucks to be you

Family isn't perfect, just perfectly ours

[acid-eater]

LOGH 100 Question Meme

Under the cut bc this is huge

1) How did you get into LOGH? 

It was back in 98 when I used to “work” with some friends fansubbing anime in a home studio. One day one of my friends, who used to go to japan a lot because his family was living there as dekasegi, brought some episodes of logh (half of the 1st season) telling us that we should start subbing it because it was “the best space opera ever to exist”. We found the script on the internet and watched it. It was awesome, but we never subbed it because we were too lazy.

2) What did you watch/read from LOGH?  I haven’t watched Golden Wings 

3) Which one did you get started with? the first of the 110 episodes

4) What do you plan to watch/read from LOGH in the future? hmm nothing I guess

5) What books do you own from LOGH? Yoshiki Tanaka‘s novels

6)What video support do you own from LOGH? 720p and old 480p

7)What LOGH videogames do you own? Physical copy none, but I have all pc88 and pc98 games (only to take screenshots because I can’t play them in japanese haha)

8)What’s your favorite LOGH videogame? n/a

9)What goods from LOGH do you own (toys, clothes, etc.) this is everything logh related I own

(thanks to my favorite girls hisohiso and karisomeotome)

10)If you could wish for a LOGH good that doesn’t exist yet, what would that be? idk, an audiobook, maybe? 

11)Do you own LOGH models? Nope

12)Did you ever thought “OH MY GOD I AM A LOGH FREAK”? Nope

13)Did you ever sang a LOGH song in a karaoke? No, I’ve never been to a karaoke x_x

14)What is your favorite season of the show? 2

15)And your less favorite? Maybe 1? x_x Idk...

16)What is your favorite episode and/or movie? episode 54

17)Favorite scene or event? Reinhard and Yang Wenli meeting

18)Favorite battle? Vermillion! (see? 2nd season is the best) but also Shiva

19)Less favorite scene or event? 3 terrible scenes involving: kircheis, yang wenli and reuenthal 

20)Favorite song? I love Hikaru no Hashi wo Koete and Sea of the Stars

21)Favorite sountrack? Mahler’s Symphony No 2, “Resurrection”. Mostly because of episode 98 ;____;

22)Favorite quote? “Information is a living organism - with a short lifespan.” Yang the Wenli on Spiral Labyrinth and “The people have democratic principles on their lips, but cannot spare the effort to safeguard them! The collapse of a government is the sin of its rulers and leaders. The collapse of democratic rule is the sin of every citizen.” Bucock - The man, the legend   

23)Who would you have sided with if you had a choice? The solitary and hopeless struggle of Jessica Edwards

24)Where would you live? In Heinessenpolis

25)What job/function would you have had? an irrelevant one

26)Which character is the most alike to you? I have NO idea 

27)Which character would you like to be like? Ugh... Bucock, maybe.

28)Who is your favorite character? Miracle Yang

29)Which character were you impressed by the most? Reuenthal

30)Your OTP…? Mitts & Reuenthal

31)…and NOTP? all the hetero u_u

32)Who is the perfect, ideal couple? Reinhardo-sama and Kircheis 

33)Less favorite character? Every fuckin Phezzani (except for Boris Konev) 

34)Who is the sassiest man in the galaxy? Dusty or Schenkopp

35)Who is the smartest character? Oberstein

36)And the sexiest? Reuenthal 

37)Who has the best strategy? Yang Wenli

38)Who has the best strategy from the opposite side? Reinhard

39)Who has the worst strategy?  Braunschweig is really incompetent 

40)Who is the most evil? The whole Terraist Church and of course the Phezzani behind it

41)Who is the most honest? Kircheis and Mittermeyer

42)Which character can’t be ignored yet not your favorite one? Cazellnu

43)WHO IS GALAXY’S GREATEST HERO? maybe kesler, maybe mitts

44)Favorite ship (as in spaceship not your OTP again)? Barbarossa

45)Favorite planet? Heinessen

46)Who are, gradually, the five best officers from the Alliance? Bucock, Yang, Julian, Schenkopp, Dusty

47)And from the Empire? Reuenthal, Muller, Kessler,Mitts, Oberstein

48)Who would you like to have as your subordinate? Julian

49)Who would you like to have as your superior? Yang or Bucock or Merkatz

50)Who would you hate to have as your superior? Reinhard u_u

WOW!! Halfway through, here’s a cookie!!

51)Who would you hate to have as your subordinate? Poplan

52)Who would you like to have as your opponent? Reinhard

53)Who would you hate to have as your opponent? Yang

54)If you could befriend a character, who would that be? Mittermeyer

55)Which character would you have a talk with? Mittermeyer

56)If you could be one of the characters for one day, who would it be and when? One of Cazellnu daughters 

57)Which character could you fall in love with? Reuenthal

58)Which character do you want to treat badly? Reuenthal lol

59)Which character would you have liked to live? Kircheis (end of the anime) and Yang

60)Which character do you wish to see dead (earlier)? Rubinsky

61)What death affected you the most? 3: kircheis, yang and reuenthal

62)What death did you celebrate? Rubinsky

63)What death is the most heroical? Bucock

64)What death is the silliest? Andrew Fork

65)Who is right of Yang and Reinhard? Yang

66)Between the Trunicht Government and the Goldenbaum Government, which would you choose? Revolution!!!!

67)If you were in Yang’s position, how would you have reacted to the Greenhill Coup d’Etat?  The NSMC was a mistake and it would obviously destroy itself, Yang did well in putting that guy (I forgot his name) to talk publicly denouncing that the coup was supported by the Empire, but he took so long to actually attack them somehow.

68)Who used the best technique to destroy the Artemis necklackle, Kircheis or Yang? Yang

69) Would you have killed Reinhard in Vermillion if you were in Yang’s position? Without a doubt

70)Who would you have sided with in Merkatz place? He did the right thing, I would do the same.

71)If it were you instead of Yang, would you have sided with Reinhard after the battle of Vermillion? No. Impossible.

72)Do you prefer Oberstein or Bittenfeld? Tough one... Bittenfeld, probably 

73)Were you sad about Oberstein’s death? More than I expected tbh

74)If you could choose to marry either Frederica or Hilda, who would it be? Frederica, for sure.

75)Who do you think Julian slept with? Mashengo (my otp)

76)In your humble opinion, how many times did Reinhard and Hilda did “the thing”? lol just once and she probably didn't even cum

77)Do you think Reinhard was poisoned? Some questions are better left unanswered 

78)Do you prefer the books, the anime or the manga (or the remake :B)? Anime

79)Do you like Golden Wings/Ougon no Tsubasa? haven’t seen

79)Do you wish the OVA looked like GW/OnT? Noooo

80)Do you like other works from Yoshiki Tanaka? I don’t know any other

81)Do you like other works from Noboru Ishiguro? Of course! Especially Macross, Megazone and Yamato. 

82)Who is your favorite seiyuu? I don’t have one.

83)Who would you like to see in your own language dubcast? huh no one

84)Who is your favorite classical music composer from the soundtrack? Gustav Mahler

85)If there was a LOGH live action movie, who would you like to see in the cast? Please, no.

86)Do you have friends you can share your love for LOGH with? YES!

87)Are you a LOGH proselyte and try to get new people into it? All the time (it never works tho)

88)What is the message from LOGH you will remember? obviously “In every time, in every place, the deeds of men remain the same.”

89)What did you like in LOGH? A LOT of things. I liked the writing, the fact that the story is thought and presented as if it were historical data, is really believable most of the time. I like the characters, aesthetically speaking, their design are so varied and unique I could pretty much imagine how they would look like as real people. On a psychological level as well, their variety and depth is amazing and I mention this show as an example on how the best stories are those where both the plot and the characters are awesome.

90)What did you hate in LOGH? That it had to end

91)What do you think of democracy as depicted in LOGH? Democracy is not something that should be taken for granted and LOGH has the best way to remind us about it.

92)What do you think of autocracy as depicted in LOGH? Obviously depicted in a positive way but doesn’t neglect to highlight the limits of this system as well, with Reinhard’s statement that Alec should not reign were he unfitting for the task and him agreeing to give the Empire a constitution.

93)Did LOGH changed your views about politics or history? Not really, it just reassured things I’ve already known and presented they 

94)How did you feel after finishing episode 110?  Ewige Wiederkunft

95)How would you describe LOGH in few words? A modern definition of an Epic.

96)What do you expect from LOGH in the future? Nothing

97)Do you casually read LOGH fanfiction? No

98)Do you casually write LOGH fanficition? Nope

99)Do you casually draw LOGH-related art? No D:

100)Any last words? 

Because I said too many NOs in the last questions.

Congratulations! You did it! A true galactic hero!

Don’t forget to tag your post with #logh100questions so I we can read your answers (and send you the official Galactic Hero Medal (made of fine Swiss chocolate ;D)

[Translated from the original french meme from this forum:http://www.cosmic-era.com/forum/][Some questions were replaced because of reasons]

BLANK MEME here

[writer-or-whatever]

09.02-09.08: Fics I Read This Week

this is coming two days late. i had it typed up on my computer and i just... forgot to post it? oops. anyway, last week i decided to systemically make my way through the cisco/barry relationship tag on ao3 (though i’m not done) so not only has that significantly lengthened this list but also it’s the first time i’ve read fics from The Flash fandom, even though i’ve religiously followed the tv series since it started in 2014. 

Also i am super into Cisco/Barry/Caitlin fics but there are a whole two of them that i could find so if you have any please send them to me, i’m desperate and am going to have to write some of my own to fill the void. 

anyway, fics recced below the cut by fandom then by pairing, as always, with fics from the flash fandom at the bottom because there are very very many fics. 

Harry Potter Fics:

Draco/Harry:

A Good Boy by bafflinghaze

Due to unforeseen circumstances, Draco’s work goes a little overtime. When Draco returns home, he finds that Harry’s gotten started without him—but only a little, since Harry is such a good boy.

Word Count: 1k

Gilmore Girls Fics:

Paris/Rory:

The Best Of It by dollsome

Paris outs herself and Rory during a televised argument with Michele Bachmann. Peskiest of all is the fact that Paris and Rory aren't actually dating. A documentary crew wants to make Paris And Rory's Modern Stars Hollow Family anyway. Meanwhile, Rory goes slowly and quietly nuts. (And doesn't like Paris like that -- why would you even suggest such a thing?? Not that ... anyone did.)

Word Count: 73k

Notes: One of my all time favorite fics. It’s so good and so well-written and so fantastic and I’m screaming. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry--because you’re laughing so hard.

The Flash Fics:

Cisco/Barry/Caitlin: 

((if someone has any more fics than the ones listed below, pls send them to me. i am desperate))

Equipoise by trufflemores

Barry gets sick.

Word Count: 3k

Notes: I love this fic and this ship. 

Guardian Doctor by LightningLemonade

Caitlin Snow is more defensive of her boys than even she knew.

Word Count: 366

cw: homophobic language

Barry/Cisco:

escapes, true love, miracles by spocklee

princess bride AU. written (late) for flashvibe week.

Word Count: 22k

Notes: Top ten favs out of any fandom, easily. I mean, my favorite movie as an AU and it does it justice and non-binary!Barry and just yes.

Heartbreak Hotel by RonnieandtheProfessor

Cisco and Barry go undercover to investigate a meta-human that's been only attacking couples that stay in a certain hotel. Barry struggles with the 'pretending' aspect of their mission, as his feelings begin to grow a little too real.

Word Count: 4k

Notes: THIS IS SO GODDAMN GOOD, OKAY!

once i have you, i will never let you, never let you go by coopbastian

Barry and Cisco respond to a meta-alert but one of them gets kidnapped in the process.

Word Count: 3k

Thunderstorms by fezwearingjellybananas

In which Barry does not like thunderstorms, but Cisco is there to support him

Word Count: 300

finding you by craptaincold

“Oh, don’t play dumb, Barold,” Lisa said. “Barry,” Barry said. “Barold,” Lisa said, “A little birdy tells me that you’ve got a crush on him.” Barry was about to take a sip of his coffee, but was pretty glad he didn’t make it yet, because he would’ve choked on it. “Excuse me? I- I don’t, what makes you think that? Did you talk to Iris?” “I didn’t, but I’m sure going to now.” Lisa smirked. “I’m sure she’d have so many embarrassing stories to tell about you.” She paused and rested her chin on her hand. “Plus, she’s pretty cute. Is she single?” “She’s engaged. Don’t even think about it.” Lisa sighed, dropping her grin to a pout. “I have a proposition for you, Barry. Cisco is a sweet boy, and there aren’t too many of those in this world, you know? I’d love to have him for myself, but I hate stepping on any toes,” she said, as if she didn’t rob people for a living, “So, if you don’t step up and tell him how you feel by the end of the month, I’ll be forced to nab him up.” “We’re already dating,” Barry blurted out, mind now a dumpster fire. Oh god, why did he say that? You’d think having superspeed would make him be able to stop himself from saying impulsive things. Word Count: 2k

The Person That You Were (You Cannot Find) by Ecliptic_Fiction

When it's four in the morning When it comes without warning And the Silence drags you down under the tide.

Word Count: 2k

Notes: God, I love this. They’ve got such a beautiful relationship. 

cw: self-esteem issues

To Lean On by Ecliptic_Fiction

Tears prick at Barry's eyes at the sight of the man before him, and he can't help but smile at the thought of spending forever with him. "I do," he whispers, squeezing Cisco's hand gently. Word Count: 5k

Where Do You Go (When You Think Of Me?) by Ecliptic_Fiction

Thank God for Francisco Ramon- the saviour of the Flash. Word Count: 3k

...so could we by coopbastian

Cisco is having a hard time on the fact that Leo implied that he and Barry are a couple. Word Count: 1k

What really matters by Saluzozette

It was late at night when Cisco's voice broke the silence in the room. Barry was on the verge of sleep, curled around his boyfriend, his nose buried deep into his hair. Cisco's back was warm against his chest, their fingers glued together and really, the speedster had rarely felt as tired, comfy and happy as he was right now. His mind was already drifting away, but he acknowledged the other man's plea nonetheless. “Barry?” Cisco's voice was alert and very much awake. Far from the comfortable stillness that had filled the bedroom for the last hour. Why wasn't he asleep already? “Hum...” The speedster mumbled, trying to sound a little bit less out of it than he actually was. “I'm gonna do it.” Word Count: 4k cw: graphic descriptions of violence, homophobia, mentions of neglect and abuse

sweet creature, sweet creature by buckybunnyteeth

Cisco wakes up to the quick warm feeling of lips pressing against his own. or Cisco needs Barry to know that he loves him ... without saying that he loves him. Word Count: 3k

It's Not About Winning by st4rlabsforever (omaken)

Cisco wriggles his wrists in his restraints. In the grand scheme of things – or at least as far as kidnappings go – this one isn’t so bad. Sure, the ropes might be chafing his wrists and the blindfold might be messing with his balance, but his discomfort is at a solid three out of ten right now. Just a day in the life of Central City's premier superhero couple. Word Count: 5k

Vows and Promises by daydreamingstoryteller

Barry has made the decision to sacrifice himself to stop the Dominators' attack. But Cisco has some scores to settle with him before he can leave. Or. Another Invasion AU but with Secretly married Flashvibe Word Count: 1k

'Fake' Dates & Not-So-Shitty Acting by twelvexclara

When Caitlin and Julian need someone to go undercover for an event, they ask Barry and Cisco. The thing is, the situation is more complicated than you think. Word Count: 2k

Stars in Hiding by Neuqe

"It is getting rather confusing for all parties involved, and Cisco would prefer if his life did not resemble this much a 90’s situational comedy" Barry and Cisco decide to keep their relationship as a secret. It is not necessarily the best idea. Word Count: 5k

We will find each other by Neuqe

Cisco accidently vibes Earth-2 and learns something new about Reverb. Word Count: 1k

swimming in the sunlight by VolunteerFieryDantooinian

Cisco can feel it, he can fucking feel what almost happened, he almost lost him- But Barry came back. It took a month, but he came back. It scared the hell out of him. Then again, he had a habit of doing that. Title from BøRNS's American Money, which is a total Barrisco song tbh Word Count: 1k

You Love the Limelight Too by PoliticalBloodTea

People won't stop flirting with Cisco. Barry is not jealous. He's not. Word Count: 3k

Decelerate by trufflemores

3.12. Barry and Cisco cuddle after Barry phases the train. Word Count: 1k

That Would Be Enough by UpsideAround

Soulmarks weren't supposed to change. Soulmarks didn't change. Fate must have hated him, because Barry's soulmark had been erased once when he was eleven, and brutally slashed out when he was in his twenties. Word Count: 2k Notes: I love this so much, tbh

Duration by st4rlabsforever (omaken)

“Hey! So,” Cisco says, pulling out the dark blue package from his shopping bag, “I was thinking we could try this tonight.” He tosses it to Barry and tries his best not to blush. The slogan ‘Last Longer. Stay In The Moment’ stares back at him in big, white letters. Or: in which Cisco buys Barry an endurance enhancer, and Barry is not amused at all. Word Count: 1k

Trademarked Kisses by aldergroves

(The first) five times that Barry and Cisco kiss. Word Count: 1k Notes: NON-BINARY CISCO!!!!!!!!!

Mach 1 by RedelliaValentinos

"Can I ask you something? It's just out of curiosity," the boy spun the chair around. Harry gave a hum of approval to go ahead and scooped up his coffee mug. Nothing this kid could possibly say was going to interrupt his consumption of caffeine. "What would happen if Barry went Mach 1 during sex?" Word Count: 838 Notes: Harry isn’t the only one who choked on their coffee because of this.

Another One Gone by superallens

6. “You can’t die. Please don’t die.” Word Count: 873 cw: major character death Notes: only read it if you want to cry

Locked in the closet by graveltotempo

Hartley and Snart get locked in closet and accidentally get a first row view of Barry and Cisco going at it Word Count: 2k

Insomnia by VenezuelanWriter

Barry can’t keep losing so many hours of needed sleep because he’s too busy feeling like this: hollow inside, weak and anxious. Word Count: 2k

All That Glitters by dancesontrains

The glitter had settled all over his cowl, so he was still breathing it in, and he began to remove it. Might as well remove the already unzipped jacket too...and the trousers, what if they had the particles on them? Clearly whatever was in them wasn't good for him, he could tell that much. Why else would he blurt out something like that to his friend? Word Count: 2k cw: rape/non-con elements

Work by coopbastian

prompt: “I’m singing along to this song and you can’t stop me, so either deal with it or join me.” Word Count: 623

The Hysteria Games by st4rlabsforever (omaken)

Barry and Cisco discover Pokemon GO. Naturally, everyone loses their minds. Word Count: 2k

Gold and Metallic Red by Mikkal

No one can know he likes painting his nails. And, so far, it’s working. No slip ups. Of course, up until recently, he didn’t have a superhero for a best friend. A superhero best friend who can vibrate through walls and forgets sometimes that it’s rude to not knock, damn it, Barry! Word Count: 815 Notes: You can read it as gen if you want, tbh.

So No Memory Remover Machine? by Magicaltally

Team Arrow ships Barrisco, and even if they're not in Central City that won't stop them from playing match makers. Word Count: 1k

Forbidden by unsernameinuse

Dr. Wells has rules about romance in the workplace. No one agrees with him, but especially not Barry and Cisco. Word Count: 808

Ransom by pennflinn

Inspired by the tumblr post, "Imagine Cisco getting nabbed by a villain and they want him to call the flash and he has to explain why he’s saved in his phone as 'Bae.'" Cisco is kidnapped and held as ransom for the Flash, who he has yet to confess his feelings for. Things get awkward fast. Word Count: 1k

It was just a dream by demflashvibefeels

Barry dreams about something terrible Zoom could've done. Good thing Cisco was around Word Count: 194

Side Effects by trufflemores

There are complications when Barry and Cisco share a bed. Word Count: 965

Whenever you need me, I'll be there by PunkyRaticate

Cisco and Barry have been dating for a few months now and when they finally get a day to themselves they're pretty stoked. What happens when Mrs. Ramon decides to call and invite her son over to his folk's house in the middle of their Mythbusters binge-watching session. He agrees to it and now he wishes he hadn't. Word Count: 2k

Ride or Die or Fake Dating by Ihateallergies

Barry needs a favor from Cisco. Word Count: 3k Notes: ICONIC

Barry and Cisco's Love Story by VenezuelanWriter

Cisco recovers from his past relationship with Barry's help and they finally get to a place where they can be together. (I recommend you reading the first two stories for the series before reading this one so you enjoy it even more) Word Count: 7k cw: past relationship abuse

Protection by Neuqe

Barry and Cisco get kidnapped before their date night. Cisco is pissed off for multiple reasons. Word Count: 2k

Vibe-y Patronus by LadyOrpheus

prompt: hey how about flashvibe with barry helping cisco get more comfortable with his powers? Or Barry helps give Cisco the proper motivation. Word Count: 1k

Whoever The Flash’s Stupid Little Heart Desires by TwirlsWrites

At this point, they're just glad that they know there's a way to wake him up. Unfortunately, finding out who exactly Barry's heart considers to be his one true love is a lot more difficult than one would have thought. Word Count: 2k Notes: I fucking LOVE this fic

Cisco Keeps Getting Flowers From A Secret Admirer - You Won't BELIEVE What Happens Next! by TwirlsWrites

“Cisco, look,” Caitlin said, pointing at the Cortex computer. Cisco stepped closer; there was a single yellow flower with a ribbon tied around the stem. “Huh,” Cisco muttered, picking it up, “It has my name on it.” the soft red ribbon had ‘Cisco’ scrawled on it. “Well don’t grab it, what if it’s a trap?” Caitlin said, rushing over.

Word Count: 2k

Notes: The title is a little eh, but the work is AMAZING!!!!!! TwirlsWrites is an iconic writer. 

You and I Were Meant to Be (Ain't No Doubt About It) by spoopy_dragons

Francisco Ramon was born with the name "Flash" scrawled across his wrist. The story of Cisco Ramon falling for someone besides his soulmate, but maybe, just maybe, it'll all work out in the end. Word Count: 4k

"Are we soulmates?" by supercala_docious

Cisco started to get memory-flashes of him and Barry as a couple. Word Count: 927 Notes: I love, love, love this

we can work from home, oh, oh, oh-oh by buckybunnyteeth

“You’re not gonna electrocute me are you, dude?” A different, much more pleasant shock goes through Barry’s body when a warm weight settles on his lap. Barry’s head snaps back up and he feels his jaw drop at the sight that greets him. Cisco has plopped down into Barry’s lap, miles of beautiful brown skin on display as he is wearing only a pair of very short yellow shorts and a smile. A smile that is curved around a grape Sucker. Word Count: 1k

Sledgehammer by Neuqe

Barry gets hurt and the heart monitor is betraying him or the one where Caitlin is the smartest of them all. Word Count: 3k Notes: I love this and Caitlin and Barry being brotp is canon.

Laundry Day by RedBowBuddha

After Cisco and Barry move in together, Cisco is worried that it was a bad choice for their developing relationship. Barry sets out to prove that it was a perfect choice. Word Count: 4k

((find my other weekly fic recs here.))

[ameerawritesstuff]

Prompt Garashir; 27, 31, 37, 40, 41, 50

Whoo! Sorry these took a bit! But wow, these were some of my absolute favorites to do! Btw, I took a very different interpretation than is probably expected for #40 and I think I’m going to turn it into a longer series on ao3 t some point because I’m really interested in where it could go.

Thank you for these great prompts!

27 “I’m with you, okay? Always”

I’m with you, okay? Always. Garak read that last line over and over again. He would have thought he was just being hopeful, wishing that Julian could ever feel the same way about him as he did. But the way the letter ended had shattered that. Love, Julian

Garak found himself reading the entire letter again:

My dear, Garak

That comma placement alone had gotten Garak’s heart beating rapidly. Surely it was a grammatical error, although out of character for Julian Bashir, it wasn’t unlikely. Furthermore, it could be a simple show of platonic affection. After exchanging letter after letter, even Garak had to realize he was indeed held dear in the doctor’s heart.

My heart ached reading your last letter, as it has for every letter prior.

The details of Cardassia being rebuilt were not easy to swallow, so it was no surprise Julian found them upsetting. Still, this was the first time he admitted it instead of offering suggestions and words of encouragement.

I won’t come to Cardassia if you don’t want me to and since you haven’t asked me to join you, I’ve stayed put, but please let me do something for you.

The idea that Julian would even consider moving to Cardassia hadn’t even crossed Garak’s mind. It had been a fantasy, that Starfleet would send him to Cardassia as a part of a goodwill project or something, but Garak had never thought it could be a reality. And yet here Julian was, saying he would join him if Garak asked.

I don’t know what I can send you, what I can say, what I need to do to help you. And I’m talking about you Garak, not Cardassia.

That had made Garak confused. Why would Garak, one man, get special consideration over an entire suffering population. Sure, Julian actually knew Garak, but familiarity was hardly necessary when it came to that young man’s bleeding heart.

Just ask me for anything and it’s yours. You’re working so hard to take care of all of Cardassia, you’ve neglected to take care of yourself. Let me take care of you then, please, I’m begging you.

Did Julian know that was essentially a proposal in Cardassian culture?

Being there for you never has been and never could be an imposition or a burden, since my heart’s always with you no matter what.

I’m with you, okay? Always.

Love,

Julian

The young man had somehow rendered Garak, who was never at a loss for words, speechless. How could he respond to this letter? Admit that he ached for Julian every day? Or simply ask that he join him as a friend? He could decline but thank Julian for his offer of assistance, that would be the wisest way for Garak to keep himself from getting hurt.

Still, the entire world that Garak loved had fallen apart. He had essentially no one to truly depend on and he had grown so tired and so hopeless. Would it be so wrong for him to want something nice for himself? To dream again? To desire?

My dearest, Julian

I await your arrival with baited breath.

Love,

Garak

31 “You’re alive?!”

“You’re alive?!” Garak couldn’t believe the doctor had just walked into his shop to see why he wasn’t at lunch. Why would Garak go to lunch with a ghost?

“No one told you…” Julian breathed in shock before chuckling. “I suppose that explains why you didn’t meet me at the infirmary.” He shot Garak an apologetic smile. “Sorry about the scare.”

“I watched footage of you being killed by the Harvesters,” Garak began, trying to regain his footing. “I’m not angry to see that it was obviously a forgery, however shocked I may be.”

“‘Not angry’ isn’t the same as being happy.” Julian smirked. “Come on, Garak, you can’t tell me you were upset over one Starfleet member.”

“Two Starfleet members.” Garak corrected. “I believed the Chief had also been killed.”

“Ah, yes, and you two are close, I’m sure.” Julian scoffed. “How many other people still think I’m dead?” Garak shrugged, as he truly didn’t know. “Well, how did you find out? We weren’t gone so long that news would really have been spread outside of personnel and family. Did Professor O’Brien tell people or something?” Garak said nothing. “Well? Am I going to terrify everyone I see if I walk into Quark’s?”

“I doubt that, my dear.” Garak said with a wave of his hand.

“Garak…” Julian had a mischievous smile on his face. “You weren’t supposed to have watched the footage, were you?” Garak was silent again. “You watched a classified transmission, risking your status on this station…” His grin only grew wider. “Were you really that worried about me when my return was delayed?”

“Well,” Garak said with a click of his tongue. “It’s not as if I haven’t openly shown my fondness for you.”

“Oh, don’t act ashamed, Garak.” Julian laughed as he walked up to Garak. “You’re not the first person to develop a crush on me and you won’t be the last.”

“I said nothing about romantic feelings!” Garak protested a little too quickly. Julian looked back with wide-eyed hurt.

“So…” He bit his lip and looked away. “You don’t feel that way about me?” It was maybe only a few seconds of silence, but it felt like an eternity for Garak before Julian burst into laughter. “Alright, but seriously, Garak, are we going to get lunch or not?” Garak was relieved that he didn’t have to answer the other question. While he was used to lying, he hardly wanted to deny his feelings for the beautiful young doctor that he was now walking to the replimat with.

.

37 “Because I love you god damn it!”

“Because I love you, god damn it!” Julian was absolutely seething at Garak so he didn’t even stop to register what he’d just confessed. “Do you know how much it hurts to watch you sacrifice yourself so much for someone who never deserved your loyalty?” If Garak were not behind a force field, he would have embraced Julian in an instant. “You think I sympathize with the Founders? Of course not! But you would have tried to kill anyone if you thought they had a hand in killing Tain!” Julian shook his head in rage. “That man was not just a monster in general, he was a monster to you!”

“Doctor…” Garak breathed. There was so much being said, words Garak thought he’d never hear. He never thought someone would be critical of his father’s treatment of him and he certainly never thought Julian Bashir could love him.

“I suppose I just don’t understand.” Julian sighed. “I don’t know who Tain really was to you, but I know who he was to me. I met him once and he mocked and belittled the man I love.” There it was again, Julian saying he loved Garak. “I wanted to wring his thick scaly neck and wipe that arrogant smile off his face.”

“All on my behalf?” Garak couldn’t fathom Julian’s affection for him.

“And I suppose my own jealous motivations.” Julian crossed his arms in a huff. “I don’t know what the nature of your relationship was…” Julian blushed slightly and looked away.

“Doctor, you speak as if you and I are romantically involved.” Julian’s eyes snapped to focus.

“Aren’t we?” Julian asked in surprise. “I mean, I researched Cardassian courtship and, well, I’ve tried to follow all of the customs.” This was not something Garak had expected. “The shoulder touch you first gave me was a proposition and I accepted.”

“You’re telling me that all this time you’ve believed that we were a couple?” Had Garak missed the potential of a million kisses somehow? There was heartbreak and confusion in Julian’s eyes so Garak quickly spoke again. “I’m hardly opposed to the idea, but nothing was ever made official. Not to mention our physical intimacy has been….” Non-existent was the word, but that didn’t feel right. It wasn’t that Garak was just pointing out that they hadn’t been intimate, it was that he wished they had been. “Lacking…”

“‘Innuendo and subtlety are what make a true romance,’” Julian quoted, “‘To be blunt and direct would be to lose any chance.’” Illoja of Prim’s poem To Lovers, With Love which was essentially an instructional piece on Cardassian courtship told in the loveliest of verse. “I wasn’t about to spell out the nature of our relationship and have you disgusted by being so brazen.” It was true, on Cardassia, for anyone to openly claim they were romantically involved without announcing a marriage would be scandalous. “And I wasn’t about to lay a finger on you until you made the first move.”

“Why did you have to be so chivalrous?” Garak sighed and brought his hand to his forehead. “If you had just kissed me, or made some other recognizable move…” Garak shook his head. “Do you realize how long I’ve lusted after you?”

“Well, you’ll have to lust just a bit longer.” Julian huffed. “You got yourself thrown in jail, remember?”

“Believe me, if this barrier were not here, this conversation would be going very differently.” Garak sighed again as he looked at Julian with new wonder. “I would have embraced you and told you how long I have loved you.”

“I’m still mad at you.” Julian looked away with a smirk. “I’m a bit madder since apparently I’ve been single all these years without knowing.”

“At least you got to have the illusion of romance!” Garak protested. “I’ve been pining over you and certain you could never feel the same way.”

“Well, you were wrong about that.” Julian clicked his tongue and looked back at Garak with a strong glare. “And you were wrong to have tried to kill all the Founders.”

“I’ll admit that it was rash.” Garak conceded. “And I’ll endeavor to be worthy of you.” He gave a small bow and was surprised to hear the force field brought down. “There’s no way you have the authority to release me.”

“I’m not releasing you.” Julian grinned. He then firmly embraced Garak and kissed him. It was strong and passionate but not forceful. Garak allowed himself to be led and for his eyes to close only for Julian to pull away. Garak looked at him through hazy blinking. “I’m just making sure you realize what you’re missing out on while you’re in here.” With that, Julian exited the cell and then pressed the keypad so the force field went back up.

“You are cruel.” Garak breathed with a smirk.

“But I bet you’ll never do anything like this again, hmm?” Julian’s smile faded and he bit his lip. “You’ll be back in a month. I’ll still be here for you.”

“I’ll count the moments.”

40 “I could hold you forever”

“I could hold you forever.” Garak said as he tapped his fingers against his desk. “Truly, I have all the time in the world and no one cares what happens to you.” Julian wanted to believe someone would come for him. That Starfleet, The Klingons, The Tal’Shiar, anyone would save him, but who would go against the Obsidian Order for an augment? For a freak?

“Then you would spend forever learning nothing.” Julian said with a weary chuckle. “I’ve told your men everything I know so any further torture would just be for your own sadistic pleasure at this point.” When he’d been discovered at Starfleet Medical, Julian decided his best course of action was to run away to somewhere that wouldn’t question his identity out of desperation. He’d gotten surgically altered to appear Bajoran and created an identity and earring for himself. He told himself that he would neither join the resistance or the collaborators. He would just keep his head down and treat anyone who needed medical attention. Eventually, when Bajor got less desperate, he’d be able to live more like himself and no one would be suspicious since he’d be a familiar face.

Julian now realized how naive he’d been. The slaughter of Bajorans didn’t simply happen behind the scenes or away from prying eyes, it happened right on the streets for everyone to see. Every action was politicized. Treating a Bajoran meant you weren’t using supplies on a Cardassian and vice versa. Julian found himself picking a side quicker than expected, the Bajoran side. It seemed natural to everyone. A Bajoran smuggling resources for other Bajorans, but Julian wasn’t really a Bajoran. Unfortunately, this man from the Obsidian Order had found that out.

“You think I enjoy this?” Garak sighed. “Truly, my dear, I have no desire to see you suffer. I told my men to bring you to me unharmed.” Julian scoffed. “How do you think I discovered you weren’t Bajoran?”

“A medical scan of some sort?” Julian guessed. “Hidden in a device so I wouldn’t notice?”

“You remember when we first met?” Garak asked. Julian nodded. “I didn’t like the idea of being treated by a Bajoran doctor, but the prefect of Bajor seems to think it’s polite to have a few around.” Garak had an amused smirk. “But I must say, you healed my wounds more efficiently than any Cardassian I’ve ever been to.”

“So you decided I couldn’t be Bajoran?” Julian scoffed. “That wouldn’t fit your idea of them being inferior?”

“Oh, please, I’m not so close-minded.” Garak waved his hand. “In truth, I was essentially told the truth, by the orb.” Julian blinked. “Even though you’re not actually Bajoran, I’m sure you know about orb experiences.” Julian nodded. “Yes, well, while the silly fairy tales of Bajor are mostly a waste of time, the orbs seem to create a lucid type of dreaming. It can allow you to discover what your subconscious has already learned.” Julian said nothing. “Have I lost you?”

“No,” Julian shook his head. “You’re saying you realized I was human because of the orb?”

“It also showed me some other things about you.” Garak got up and moved toward Julian.

“It showed you that I was smuggling medical supplies.” Julian clicked his tongue. Of course there would be some bizarre and seemingly fantastical device that would expose Julian.

“That, and the fact that I need to keep your from getting yourself killed.” Garak moved to touch Julian’s shoulder, but stopped his hand when Julian flinched. “You’re a very precious creature, Julian Bashir.” Julian looked up in horror at the use of his real name. “Don’t worry, not even Central Command knows who you really are. I imagine they’d love to use you as a bargaining chip in negotiations with the Federation.”

“But you intend to use me in some other way?” Julian supplied. “Let me guess, you want an augmented agent who, not being Cardassian, can gain the trust of Bajorans.”

“That is a charming idea.” Garak smiled. “But truly, I have no intention of forcing you into anything.”

“So I can cooperate or rot in a cell?” Julian rolled his eyes. “That’s still manipulation of power and extortion, even if you try and fool me into it being something else.” Garak glanced down and pursed his lips.

“I don’t really know how to go about this…” He sighed. “I have reason to believe you and I are intended for one another.”

“I’m sorry?” Julian asked, not really knowing what that meant.

“The orb,” Garak explained, “it showed you and I together… intimately.” Julian’s eyes grew wide.

“So your subconscious had some sick fantasy about me?” Julian was horrified. If only the light beam wasn’t keeping him trapped to the chair, he would run. “If you’re going to rape me, at least be honest about it. Don’t pretend some illusion of romance is involved.” He spat. What else did Julian have but insults? He could refuse to cooperate with anything, but he couldn’t stop Garak from doing whatever he pleased.

“My dear doctor,” Garak looked almost remorseful. “If I thought this was some fleeting desire or lust, I would ignore it easily.” He shook his head. “You think I want to lie with a non-Cardassian? An enemy of the state?”

“You wouldn’t be the first.” Julian squirmed under the restraining light. “I had to heal countless Bajorans that were given special treatment.”

“And I, like you, find that distasteful.” Garak took a step back and leaned against his desk now. “What do you know about Cardassian culture?”

“You don’t want to hear my thoughts on Central Command.” Julian scoffed. “I assure you, I’m not a fan.”

“Your disapproval of my government is not my concern.” Garak dismissed. “I’m talking about the culture, outside of politics.” Julian thought for a moment.

“You value family.” Garak nodded. “And you were once a spiritual and peaceful people.”

“Yes, and with that sentimentality came weakness and poverty.” Garak said cooly. “Unfortunately, there are still elements of our old beliefs that resonate even in myself.” Julian watched Garak carefully. He seemed sincere and relatively respectful of Julian’s desire to not be touched, but that could easily be an act to convince Julian to submit. “There’s a belief that people are intertwined and destined to fall in love.”

“And you believe that’s what’s going to happen to us?” Julian said in disbelief.

“I believe that is what’s going to happen to me.” Garak said with a click of his tongue. “But I’m not pleased by it.” He sighed. “The vision ended with you stabbing me in the heart.”

“I’m beginning to like this fantasy.” Julian smiled. Garak returned his smile with his own sad one. Without another word, Garak pressed a button on his desk and Julian was released from the light beam. He immediately stood up and tried to back away, but his wounds from earlier hit him with a stabbing pain and he fell to the ground.

“Stay still.” Garak tsked as he moved over to Julian. “I’m going to fix you up.”

“You wouldn’t want me bleeding all over you as you molest me?” Julian coughed out. Garak said nothing as he ran a dermal regenerator over most of Julian’s injuries.

“Better?” Garak said with a warm smile. Julian glared at him.

“I see you only know how to hurt people, not heal them.” He bit back. “A dermal regenerator hardly solves everything.”

“What else is wrong?” Garak asked with concern.

“I think…” Julian looked at his leg and bit his lip. “I think my ankle is fractured.”

“How do I fix that?” Julian eyed Garak suspiciously. If this Cardassian was only healing him in order to rape him, it would be in Julian’s best interest to not tell Garak what to do. Then again, there was almost no way Julian would be able to escape with a fractured ankle.

“Twist it back into place to start.” Julian bit his lip as he prepared himself for the pain and Garak frowned and stood up. “Where are you going?”

“I’m not about to subject you to more pain.” Garak explained as he began rifling through his desk. “My med kit should have a localized anesthetic.” Garak pulled out the medical kit and returned to Julian’s side. He opened it up and took out a hypospray. “Where should I inject this?”

“Just a little bit above the ankle.” Julian winced when Garak touched the pained spot but when the burst from the hypo was released, Julian sighed at the numbing sensation.

“Well, that smile’s a good sign.” Garak grinned. Julian gulped uncomfortably at the display of affection. Garak seemed to be a bit embarrassed himself and looked back at Julian’s ankle. “I’m going to reset it now, alright?” Julian nodded. Garak hesitated before taking Julian’s ankle. He twisted it back into place but he immediately glanced with worry at Julian. “Did that hurt you?” Julian shook his head. “Now what?”

“There should be a Marrow Threader in your med kit.” Garak searched inside the case for a moment before pulling it out. “Run that over it three or four times.” Garak did as he was was told and then looked at Julian again curiously.

“Did it work?” Garak asked. He was acting so innocent and child-like. Julian nearly forgot he should be frightened.

“I can’t really tell since it’s still numb.” Julian reached out his hand. “Here, help me up. If I can stand on my own, it worked.” Garak pulled Julian to his feet and then steadied him with care. Julian smiled as he felt stable again.

“That’s a relief.” Garak sighed.

“Thanks.” Julian smiled happily at Garak before remembering who he was talking to. “What…” Julian licked his lips. It had been foolish to try to run away in the first place, he wouldn’t get far with or without a fractured ankle. “What are you going to do with me?”

“I’m going to keep you safe, my dear.” Garak put a gentle hand on Julian’s cheek. Julian froze but then allowed himself to relax. It wouldn’t do to show fear. “I have no doubt that you will one day kill me, but I can’t seem to find it within myself to kill you first.” Julian searched Garak’s blue eyes for any sign of a lie.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” He said in surprise. “You actually think I’m your soulmate or something?” Garak nodded. “All because of what the orb showed you?”

“And because when I first met you, I already wanted you.” Garak admitted. “I ignored it at first. Even after the orb experience I tried to rid my mind of you…” Garak dropped his hand and looked away. “But I suppose I never really had a choice in the end.” Julian looked Garak over. The man had never actually hurt him and he had to admit he’d shown Julian only kindness. There was a part of Julian that found Garak attractive as well, a feeling that had first awakened when Garak had come into his infirmary. The Cardassian was a fascinating mystery and here he was seeming so vulnerable in front of Julian.

“Neither did I.” Julian breathed as he placed a delicate hand on Garak’s shoulder. He knew what that motion meant, he’d lived among Cardassians long enough to pick up a few things. Garak looked at him in surprise. “If I kiss you…” Julian said, licking his lips, “you won’t hurt me?”

“I swear on my life.” Garak said as he let his eyes fall closed. Julian brought his lips to Garak’s and lay a long and passionate kiss there. He would tell himself later that it was a ploy, that this was simply to fulfill the end of that fantasy where he at last would stab Garak. However, in this moment he simply enjoyed the kiss.

41 “Everytime I see you, I fall in love with you all over again”

“Everytime I see you, I fall in love with you all over again.” Garak smiled when Julian’s face appeared on the screen.

“I know distance makes the heart grow fonder, but honestly, Elim,” Julian shook his head with a smile. “Do you have to be so romantic when you’re too far away to hold?”

“It’s merely the first thing that came to mind.” Garak sighed. “Being so far away from you is frustrating.”

“Believe me,” Julian leaned back in his chair and exhaled. “I am also frustrated.”

“Now that was just cruel.” Garak said. “You realize that I’m now picturing you taking matters into your own hands.”

“When are you coming home?” Julian said sadly. “The news from Loval hasn’t been good.”

“Unfortunately it’s accurate though.” Garak sighed. “It’s hard enough to unite our peoples on Cardassia Prime, let alone planets outside of the Cardassian system.” He shook his head. “Many people here still view Dukat as a hero due to his business with K’Temang.”

“Have the riots stopped at least?” Garak said nothing. “I see…” Julian bit his lip. “I should have gone with you.”

“Do not berate yourself, dear.” Garak said, wagging a finger. “The hospital is in desperate need of your expertise. While the situation here is politically dire, there are significantly less wounded.”

“Not to mention it wouldn’t do for a human to accompany you.” Julian mumbled.

“I wish it were different.” Garak said.

“No, I understand.” Julian sighed. “You’re attempting to unify these people and interspecies mingling is a highly divisive issue.” He rubbed some weariness from his eyes. “I miss you, but mostly I worry about you.”

“I’m very safe, Julian.” Garak smiled. “Truly, I’m out of harm’s way. No one’s going to hurt me.”

“You’re your own worst enemy.” Julian responded. “I don’t want you blaming yourself for all the troubles you see and thinking you’ve somehow failed Cardassia.” Garak couldn’t argue with that as Julian had had to reassure him often that things would improve. “You’re going to do more for Loval than anyone else would have been able to and then you’re going to come back to me, understand?”

“Yes, doctor.” Garak smirked. “I’ll return to you as soon as I am able.”

“Good.” Julian nodded firmly before smiling. “Now, I’m free for the rest of the evening and would like to just talk to you about Jake Sisko’s new book.”

“Ah, yes,” Garak said, shaking his head. Long-distance meant flirting was really all they had as far as romance. A good debate was essentially their love-making while they were apart. “He’s a talented young writer, it’s a shame about his Federation bias making the Maquis rebel seem sympathetic.”

“You found Jacobi sympathetic!?”

50 “Please… I need you”

“Please… I need you.” Julian whimpered. He felt so pathetic and childish. It had only been a nightmare, it wasn’t a good enough reason to wake Garak up in the middle of the night. Still, Julian had already used the comm and asked him to come to his quarters, it was too late to save face.

“I’m on my way.” Garak said that with more alertness than his initial response to being hailed at whatever hour this was. He sounded worried and serious. Julian had no idea what he was going to tell Garak when he was asked what was so urgent. I’m sorry to have disturbed you, Garak but, you see, I dreamt I was in solitary again except this time I was lying on a biobed in the room and my parents were there. Julian shuddered at the memory. That hadn’t been the particularly unsettling part of the dream, what had shaken Julian was when a Changeling appeared and took his form. That was when his parents happily embraced the Changeling as their son. The Changeling smiled at Julian as he looked on in horror and whispered, “goodbye, Jules.” And suddenly Julian was awake in a cold sweat.

“Enter.” Julian mumbled when he heard his door chime. How could he tell Garak that nothing had really happened? It was all just ghosts. Ghosts that were probably nothing compared to the kinds that haunted Garak. Julian almost considered making up a different reason for needing him. He thought about claiming he thought he saw the Changeling still in his quarters. Of course, if that were true, Garak knew that Julian would have contacted security first. Julian had gotten so lost in his thoughts, he jumped when he felt Garak’s hand gently touch his back.

“I’m sorry, my dear.” Garak said soothingly.

“No, no, it’s alright.” Julian shook his head. “I was just startled, is all.” He looked at Garak and chuckled a bit. “I really shouldn’t have bothered you so late.”

“Not at all,” Garak smiled, “what happened?” The question Julian had been dreading.

“It’s honestly silly.” Julian shrugged with an apologetic smile. “I was still half asleep when I called you, I’m really fine now.”

“Silly?” Garak asked skeptically. “Well, I could use a little humor.” That was an invitation to share as much as it was a challenge. Garak knew there was something really bothering Julian.

“I had a nightmare.” Julian whispered. He felt like he was too small for his own pajamas with how foolish he sounded.

“I see…” Garak nodded and was quiet for a moment. He seemed to be thinking about it as if Julian had stated some complicated philosophy. “Do you want to talk about it?” Julian did not want to talk about it so he shook his head. “Do you want to go back to sleep?” Julian didn’t know how to respond to that question. He welcomed rest, but he was afraid of what lay behind his eyelids. “Personally, I’m wide awake now and wouldn’t mind some company if I’m going to be up.”

“I really am sorry about waking you.” Julian looked away.

“Don’t be.” Garak said, shaking his head. “You said that you needed me. Being needed is the most important part of life and I haven’t been needed in a long time.” Garak had a sad, distant smile on his face.

“I do need you, Garak.” It was said instinctively, but Julian knew he meant it. “I mean, I called you for a reason.”

“That is actually something I’m curious about.” Garak said, raising an eye ridge. “I assumed you’d require some sort of…” He glanced around the room as he always did before he told a lie that was meant to be seen as one, “tailoring work. However, while I don’t mind being emotional support, I’m not exactly the obvious choice.”

“I didn’t really think about it.” Julian admitted. “You were just the person I wanted to see most.” Julian hadn’t meant to phrase it quite like that, but it was the truth. He wanted comfort and there were few things as comforting to him as Garak. The rest of the station would probably be revolted at the fact that Julian felt safe with the obvious Carddassian spy, but Julian knew it was true.

“I’m flattered.” Garak bowed his head slightly. “Anything I can do to help you, I will do.”

“You being here is plenty.” Julian sighed. He felt so tired and drowsy but every time he let his eyelids grow heavy, he snapped his eyes open out of fear.

“Lie down, my dear.” Garak directed. Julian didn’t resist and let himself be slowly lowered back again. “You do need your rest. I’ll keep watch and be here in case you begin to have nightmares again.”

“Thank you…” Julian breathed. It was both a small and huge favor at the same time. Julian allowed his eyes to close and tried to breathe deeply. There was a warmth that came with Garak being near him, even if the Cardassian was technically cold. Julian found himself lie in that warmth and finally submit to the exhaustion that came over him.

[heroesandvillainsofmbti]

INFP: Keiko Ishikawa-O’Brien, “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”

INFP – the Healer, the Dreamer, the Clarifier

Keiko O’Brien put up with a lot, and never really got her due. She joined the crew way back in TNG, then left her career to cross over with her husband Miles to DS9, highlighting the show’s themes of family life and diversity. Once the focus shifted to the O’Brien-Bashir bromance (which, to be clear, I think is wonderful), our intrepid botanist went neglected.

Most of her episodes catch Keiko on her bad days, bickering with her husband or worrying what to do with her life. It was tough deciding whether she was always in the grip, or just aggressively using her higher functions. When we see her on good days, she’s obviously smart, sweet, and crazy in love with an Irish engineer who’s as stubborn as she is.

Dominant Function: (Fi) Introverted Feeling, “The Deep Well”

Keiko and Miles love each other deeply in a way that’s obvious to everyone, but also a little inexplicable given how often they seem to be at odds. They clash in the hard-headed way of two Fi-users exasperated with constant compromise. His Fi is lower, so he has trouble working out how to emotionally respond, while her higher Fi wants to be understood without having to explain itself (as an INFP who has dated two ISTJs, I can assure you this never happens in real life…ahem).

Their marriage isn’t easy, but it’s interesting to note that Keiko never brings up the option of separation once she’s committed to Miles. She’s mama-bear protective of her husband and kids on the multiple occasions when various outer space phenomena threaten them, as they do often to Starfleet types. She argues loud for her husband’s innocence when he’s unjustly accused by the Cardassians, and she has a gut feeling that he’s still alive after he’s apparently killed. She has to hold in her feelings when interacting with Miles’ imposter, but the creepiness proves overwhelming, and she makes excuses to get away.

Keiko will stick to what she believes outside of her family life, too. She feels that the kids on DS9 need education, so she starts a school. Vedek Winn tries to shut her down for teaching the scientific explanation about the wormhole without the religious story, but Keiko refuses to budge. She takes in a Cardassian war orphan, and pulls her husband aside during dinner to confront him over his bigoted behavior toward the boy.

They may sound argumentative to those outside the O’Brien household, but Miles declares that Keiko is the most supportive person he knows. When Lwaxana’s telepathic illness causes various members of the crew to randomly fall in love with each other, nothing happens to Keiko and Miles. The others were affected because of latent attractions they held unconsciously, but the O’Briens’ internal compasses point only at each other.

Auxiliary Function: (Ne) Extraverted Intuition, “The Hiking Trails”

Keiko is willing to pick up and move their family to DS9 for the sake of Miles’ career, and after a few weeks of boredom, she finds something productive to do and throws herself into the project. She protests Vedek Winn’s intrusion into her classroom because she sees her job as opening the minds of her students and exposing them to new and diverse ideas. When her unborn child has to be transplanted into Kira after an accident, Keiko just rolls with the new situation, inviting Nerys to live with them during the pregnancy and learning the Bajoran birthing ritual.

When we first meet her, Keiko’s freaking out over her impending marriage to Miles. She backs out, then re-commits, changing her mind virtually every few hours. She knows she loves Miles, but she’s anxious about making the right decision for her life.

This is the frustrating thing with Fi+Ne. Every types’ functions push and pull against each other, particularly when they’re far apart in the stack. It’s how the MBTI model explains the inner contradictions we all have, and helps us to grow. But even our top two functions, the ones that turn us into stereotypes if we only work from them without our lower half, can conflict with each other. Fi, in my INFP experience, is often the most rigid of the functions, while Ne is the most changeable.

Living with these two functions tag-teaming each other at the top of your stack gets exhausting.

On the one hand, you want to stick with the position you know is right, but on the other hand, you’re compelled to always be hunting for unexplored options. So while Keiko looks like a crazy person to her husband, I can completely sympathize with her frustration. She wants to support Miles in his career, but she needs to have her own opportunities to pursue.

Being a stay-at-home mom doesn’t work for her (particularly in an advanced future where there’s not much housework). Being a schoolteacher fulfills her for a while, but then that well dries up. Miles tries to build her a small arboretum where she can work with plants in her spare time, but botany isn’t her hobby—it’s her vocation.

Keiko needs to be a botanist. She joins a Bajoran expedition to explore undocumented species on the planet, and then she’s continuously gone on missions for most of the rest of the series. It’s a constantly moving, always changing lifestyle, and it seems to be the best choice she ever made.

Tertiary Function: (Si) Introverted Sensing, “The Study”

Keiko gets bored with routine. She assures Miles she’s okay sitting in their quarters when he leaves for work, but she needs something to engage her interests and skills. Still, she values her home life, and after months of traveling for work, she feels relief at coming back where she belongs. She keeps many traditions, especially food, from her Japanese heritage, and her wedding to Miles is a tasteful mix of Japanese and Irish customs.

Keiko gets help from a telepath to help her recollect the details from a certain childhood memory. She has various pieces—images, textures, a piece of a song—but she can’t quite recall why it’s important to her. The experience brings her memory into focus, and she finally remembers time spent with her grandmother doing calligraphy.

Keiko believes that footage of her husband’s death has been faked, because it shows him drinking coffee in the afternoon, and Miles never drinks coffee in the afternoon. Her certainty sends Sisko and the crew off on a whole investigation, and sure enough they discover Miles (and Julian) still alive and on the run. When she gets him back, Keiko discovers that she’s mistaken—Miles drinks coffee in the afternoon all the time (cue laugh track, freeze frame, end credits)!

Inferior Function: (Te) Extraverted Thinking, “The Workshop”

Keiko can put her foot down, and often does, leading to stand-offs with her Te-aux husband. She rises to the occasion when she decides the station urgently needs a school, planning and scheduling the curriculum and persuading Sisko to give her the space for it. She even gets Rom on board, convincing him that education will be good for his son.

And let’s not forget she managed to give birth to Molly in the middle of a ship-wide disaster.

(In the not-strictly-canon post-TV novels, Keiko takes a job after the war helping Cardassia regrow its biosphere, and then it’s Miles’ turn to give up his career for his partner. I think it’s a lovely development, bringing the O’Brien family full circle.)

Originally, I didn’t think I would be able to fully type Keiko, and I intended to include her in a quick list of supporting characters. While writing the list, I argued myself into an INFP typing. Back in the TNG series, I ended up typing another troublesome Star Trek character as an INFP, and I’m hoping this doesn’t reveal some sort of bias. I have no deep personal connection to Wesley or Keiko, so I don’t think I’m projecting my own type onto them. If I had to guess, when the show requires a character to act one way this week and another way next week, that Fi-Ne combo seems like an easy explanation.

As always, I welcome input and opinions.

Rosalind Chao certainly deserved better, so catch “The Assignment” from Season 5 to see her absolutely owning the episode.

[connortakesnewyork]

1. Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez

“No one ever listens, this wallpaper glistens One day they'll see what goes down in the kitchen. Places, places, get in your places Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces. Everyone thinks that we're perfect Please don't let them look through the curtains.”

Connor’s family life is difficult to say the least. Though his parents are extremely wealthy, he grew up unwanted and unloved by his parents.

2. You’ll Be In My Heart - Phil Collins

“And you'll be in my heart, yes, you'll be in my heart From this day on now and forever more Don't listen to them, ‘cause what do they know We need each other, to have, to hold. They'll see in time, I know”

Despite only being preteens when he was born, Connor’s older brother and sister quickly took on the role of parents to him. Throughout his childhood, it was Colin and Chloe who loved him, supported him, and cared for him.

3. Words As Weapons - Birdy

“You think that you're deep under my skin You're trying to keep me suffering If you use your words as a weapon Then as a weapon, I'll shed no tears”

As time went on, Connor’s neglectful parents became verbally and emotionally abusive - specifically his mother. While his father still mostly ignored him, his mother was not ashamed of constantly criticizing, insulting, and doing her best to manipulate him. Connor did his best to pretend like it didn’t bother him, brushing it off like it wasn’t a big deal.

4. Stand - Rascal Flatts

“Life's like a novel, with the end ripped out The edge of a canyon with only one way down Take what you're given before it's gone And start holding on, keep holding on”

When Connor was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma at fourteen, it felt like his whole world had been pulled out from under him but he was determined to fight with everything he had.

5. Stand By You - Rachel Platten

“Oh, tears make kaleidoscopes in your eyes And hurt, I know you're hurting, but so am I And, love, if your wings are broken Borrow mine 'til yours can open, too 'Cause I'm gonna stand by you”

Through his fight, it was Colin and Chloe who stood by him, with his parents only making token appearances to save face. It was his siblings who sat by his side through the pain, and the sickness, and the fear, and Connor knows he can never thank them enough for that.

6. I Lived - OneRepublic

“And I hope that you don't suffer but take the pain Hope when the moment comes, you'll say... I, I did it all, I, I did it all I owned every second that this world could give I saw so many places, the things that I did With every broken bone, I swear I lived ”

His fight seemed like it was never going to end, two years of treatments and every time he thought he was going to get better, his cancer had another idea. Connor eventually became convinced that he was going to die, that no matter how much he fought, he would eventually lose his life to his disease, but he also decided that he was going to live every second that he had.

7. We Keep Marching On - OneRepublic

“We'll have the days we break, and we'll have the scars to prove it, We'll have the bonds that we save, but we'll have the heart not to lose it. For all of the times we've stopped, for all of the things I'm not. We put one foot in front of the other, we move like we ain't got no other, We go where we go, we're marching on.”

When it came down to letting the doctors take his leg, or losing his life, Connor was devastated, but with support from his siblings he made it through his amputation, determined to do whatever it took to keep fighting.

8. Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne

“You're not alone, together we stand I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand When it gets cold and it feels like the end There's no place to go, you know I won't give in No I won't give in”

Connor never expected to find the support system that he did when Colin and Chloe arraigned to have him placed in Akamai Boarding School once he was declared in remission, but the friends that he made there were life changing.

9. See You Again - Wiz Khalifa

“It's been a long day without you, my friend And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again We've come a long way from where we began Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again When I see you again”

The loss of his close friend Blakely to her cancer devastated Connor, and he struggled with why he got the chance to survive when she didn’t. Losing another of his best friends, Julian, not even a year later, and shortly after yet another relapse broke something in him that he doesn’t think will ever fully heal. 

10. The Older I Get - Skillet

“The older I get, will I get over it? It's been way too long for the times we missed I didn't know then it would hurt like this but I think The older I get, maybe I'll get over it It's been way too long for the times we missed I can't believe it still hurts like this”

Even as Connor grew older and was able to distance himself more and more from his parents, he still struggles to get over their treatment of him and the complete lack of love he has felt from them for his whole life.

11. I Run To You - Lady Antebellum

“This world keeps spinning faster into a new disaster so I run to you I run to you baby And when it all starts coming undone, baby you're the only one I run to I run to you ”

When Connor met Harmony, they became friends almost instantly and it didn’t take long for both to realize there was something much more there. He knew that there was something extremely special with her, and she quickly became the most important person in his life.

12. Fight Song - Rachel Platten

“This is my fight song, take back my life song, prove I'm alright song My power's turned on, starting right now I'll be strong, I'll play my fight song And I don't really care if nobody else believes 'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me ”

Finding out that his cancer had come back after two years - and was now in his brain - was almost too much for Connor, in his fear and confusion caused by the tumor he cut off his friends and let himself be taken to England for treatment, but after his surgery he knew that he couldn’t give up, that he had to get back to his friends, to Harmony, and he had to keep fighting.

13. Who You’d Be Today - Kenny Chesney

“It ain't fair: you died too young, like the story that had just begun, But death tore the pages all away. God knows how I miss you, all the hell that I've been through, Just knowing no one could take your place. And sometimes I wonder, who'd you be today”

Even one and two years after losing them, the deaths of Blakely and Julian still weigh heavily on Connor, and he knows he’ll never make sense of it. Connor and his wife plan to name their future children after Blakely and Julian, to allow their memory to live on.

14. Just Give Me A Reason - Pink

“Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again It's in the stars, It's been written in the scars on our hearts We're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again”

Even after the removal of his brain tumor, Connor’s short-term memory (and, though it recovered more with time, his sense of judgement) were affected and it led to a series of miscommunications that had Harmony breaking off their engagement when he went to care for a cousin after she was in a car accident. When he returned, Connor was determined to fix matters and prove that he could do better.

15. Like I’m Gonna Lose You - Meghan Trainor 

“So I'm gonna love you, like I'm gonna lose you I'm gonna hold you, like I'm saying goodbye Wherever we're standing I won't take you for granted 'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you ”

Once they had reunited, Harmony and Connor quickly decided that they wanted to make their commitment to each other permanent. They had both seen how quickly everything could be snatched away from them, and they wanted to enjoy every moment they had together.

16. Best Day of My Life- American Authors

“I'm never gonna look back, whoa, I'm never gonna give it up No, please don't wake me now This is gonna be the best day of my life, my li-i-i-ife This is gonna be the best day of my life, my li-i-i-ife”

Connor and Harmony’s New Years Eve wedding was absolutely perfection for them. They were able to get married in front of their friends, Harmony’s parents, and Connor’s siblings, and Connor swore it was the best day of his life.

17. One Call Away - Charlie Puth

“And when you're weak I'll be strong, I'm gonna keep holding on Now don't you worry, it won't be long, darling And when you feel like hope is gone, just run into my arms I'm only one call away, I'll be there to save the day Superman got nothing on me, I'm only one call away ”

Connor is extremely protective of his loved ones and would do absolutely anything for his wife, siblings, and friends. There is almost nothing they could do that wouldn’t have him right by their side to protect and defend them.

18. On Top of the World - Imagine Dragons

“I take it in but don’t look down ‘Cause I’m on top of the world, ‘ay, I’m on top of the world, ‘ay Waiting on this for a while now, paying my dues to the dirt I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ay, been holding it in for a while, ‘ay Take you with me if I can, been dreaming of this since a child I’m on top of the world. ”

This is pretty much Connor’s theme song now. After everything he’s been through, he’s finally in a good place and he’s doing everything he can to enjoy it, and not take a moment of it for granted.

[valntinemorgenstern]

Review: Lord of Shadows

★★★★★

As always, my thoughts on Cassandra Clare’s books are prolific, multiplicitous, entangled, sometimes joyous and delighted, sometimes troubled and difficult; I could happily write numerous lectures and essays on this woman’s books, and Lord of Shadows comes as no exception. So, in the interest of keeping this as readable as possible, the first section of this review will contain my general thoughts, and the section after it, a more detailed (and, probably, sweary and incoherent) fangirl mess list of my very spoilery thoughts/opinions/feelings.

General 

In my opinion, Lord of Shadows is a huge improvement on Lady Midnight (I wrote an exceedingly long review on it last year that more resembled a disorganised splurge, but in sum:). For me, LM was an enjoyable, enthralling read as Cassandra’s books always are, but I was baffled by the claims that it was her best-ever book. For me, it consistently failed to hit the right chord, the characters didn’t spark on the page; the pacing lagged, and then rushed; I had a multitude of issues with plot, structure and character decisions. Most of all, the characters failed to draw me to them in the way that I was accustomed to with most of Cassie’s vast cast of characters. I’m pleased to say that I feel mostly over all of that now. I’m certain that this was also present in LM, but I think I appreciated this a lot more, given how much easier I was with the story as a whole — I was consistently impressed in this instalment with the quality of writing. LoS is strewn with some fantastically lyrical, poetic flashes of prose that, as I was reading, I just had to kind of sit back in astonishment, turning over that scintillating metaphor, or that line of dialogue, or that paragraph of description in my mind. At the risk of repeating myself, it’s obvious that Cassandra is, stylistically, far more mature, daring and sophisticated than the Cassandra writing TMI 6 years ago (I also think that this is related to a greater tendency to indulge in some flowery and exploratory prose, hence the ever-growing length of her books, but I’m not complaining).

I think by nature of the fact that this was the second in the series, there was no time that had to be spent lingering over long expositions and the tediousness of setting up unfamiliar characters; it didn’t take 300 pages for the motor to start turning. One of the developments that surprised me was how much the narrative eye in this instalment really starts to wander from Emma / Julian as its primary focus, as it mostly is in LM. I absolutely loved how much it started to scoop up the rest of the Blackthorn family, and even other characters like Arthur and Kit (though I can imagine there are some Jemma fans who might be a bit disappointed with this decision). For me, having this distance from Emma’s POV was wonderful / I really welcomed the opportunity to attach myself more deeply to other characters (to be honest, I wasn’t hugely enamoured with Emma in LM) and this made the story so much easier to invest in. In the end, it has actually warmed me to Emma a lot more, so I’m happy.

Very Spoilery 

FREAKED OUT by how many things I ended up predicting (without knowing I ws predicting them?) Consistently dogged by the feeling of déjà-vu and that I’d secretly thought that thing might happen. By no means had an exhaustive list of theories, only a couple of solid ones, and the rest ephemeral, half-baked, flippant daydreams of ‘oh, what if x got with x? wouldn’t THAT be a twist!’ and then….it happened. It happened with: Dru and Jaime becoming a thing (what sort of thing has yet to be seen, but HMM); Kit x Livvy (like, Livvy what even was that? hey you’re a male; you’re in my line of sight!); Arthur’s death (this is a whole topic in itself and Don’t Get Started™); the hinting that Ty and Kit may become parabatai in lieu of an immediately romantic relationship (their dynamic reminds me so much of Will and Jem) and thus HA HA history repeats itself in both ways…

OVERJOYED about the fact that Mark x Emma never properly materialised. Last year, this was not only an alarmingly popular ship, I thought, but also one that Cassandra seemed to be teasing would be become canonical in LoS. At this point I legitimately and seriously considered whether or not I’d bother reading Lord of Shadows, as this was probably the biggest NOTP I’d ever had. It was a deal breaker for me. So, very pleased.

I went into this determined not to ship Mark / Cristina / Kieran as a three way, and wow oh WOW, did Cassie utterly, remorselessly obliterate this! Major, major FUCKING KUDOS to Cassie’s skill and craft here for managing to completely overturn the way I feel about this polyamorous ship. I completely take back everything I said about feeling uncomfortable with this, because DUDE I am struggling to see how they’re gonna avoid a threesome at some point. This ship is electric and has so much chemistry, I’m not gonna lie, there were moments where I was thinking I was shipping it even more than Jemma…

LOVED everything in Faerie. Just! Ugh! Loved how dark and dreamy it was and the high-fantasy overtones and how reminiscent it was of mythology and Goblin Market and Arthurian romance.

All the classical + 18/19th literature allusions! The lit student in me was elated. ‘The nightmare life in death was she’ MY SOUL WAS IN COMMUNION WITH YOU CASSIE.

So lovely to return to London again! (and, woah, wasn’t expecting them to be there most of the book?) Tempered, though, by its portrayal as run-down, neglected Institute that has (somehow? I WANNA KNOW CASSIE) fallen out of The Herondale’s hands and into the management of The Highsmiths? Made me very sad indeed to see this.

i could write a whole meta of the depiction of Herondales in this book. (Lmao for a series allegedly supposed to focus on the Blackthorns and, for once, not-about-the-herondales, they still end up being a pretty damn important)

There is like, not a single POV from Kit (shocked by how huge his role is in this book?) where his Herondaleness is being mentioned, questioned or alluded to. HA I EAT THIS SHIT UP

How delightfully frustrating that, with regards to Kit, far more questions posed than answered. (The woman in his dreams? So he remembers his mother? How come only now? How the hell do the seven riders of Mannan have anything to do with him / how do they recognise him? Evidently the mysteries surrounding his heritage are tangled up in Faerie as well…) Loved how protective he was of Ty, and how brilliantly they work together. In LM, Kit was depicted as very sheltered and innocent, but he really comes into his own in LoS — loved how he was starting to mould what he’d learnt from his father with what he was learning as a Shadowhunter.

TMI DREAM TEAM REAPPEARANCES FUCK YESSSSSSSSSS MAGNUS YOU’RE A BABE AND HAVE THEY MADE STATUES OF JACE YET??

THE ENDING

T H E  E N D I N G

T   H   E     E  N  D  I  N  G

WHAT IN GOD’S NAME

It was like: trundling along nicely, some angst, but danger is mostly over, cue some boring meetings (Idris tho!! I have missed you!) and then — BANG BANG BANG BANG! Magnus (and Tessa?!) is/have been illWHAT?! Robert is dead, and Livvy is dead. CHRIST ALIVE. One thing after the other.

Did not see any of that coming. At all. Gut-wrenchingly, heart-stoppingly shocking stuff. I had to put the book down, and gaping, looked up laughingly and whispered a series of profanities to myself. That said, I expected Robert to die at the end of TMI (and was sincerely surprised he managed to survive it — had a whole theory about it) and wondered, at the time, why Cassie kept him going. Now I see why she waited till now: a strategic decision, so that there would have formed a dark force i.e. the Cohort to replace the vacuum his death as Inquisitor would leave with.

Livvy!!! I am so, terribly sad.

I am also so so scared for Queen of Air and Darkness.

[alwayssmile27-blog1]

A biracial baby girl named Mariana was born addicted to crack/cocaine. Her biological mother and father had neglected baby Mariana for one and a half years. God only knows what else they did. The biological mother was a drug addicted prostitute and was in and out of jail. The violent father went to prison for rape. At one and a half years old, Mariana was placed in the care of her great-grandmother. Her three month old baby brother, by the name of Julian, came shortly thereafter.

     The two kids lived with their great-grandmother and uncle for 2-3 years. They got adopted by a couple who couldn’t conceive their own kids. The adoptive parents’ names are Lauren and Brad. The couple adopted the kids in the year 2005. Life with Lauren and Brad seemed to be great. Mariana started therapy soon after the adoption because she wouldn’t behave. Julian on the other hand, had no therapy, but had extreme anger issues.

     When Mariana started school everything was fine until the first grade, when she started getting bullied by some girl. Then in second grade, Mariana’s mother Lauren became verbally abusive towards Mariana. She would call her names and would say things like, “We have to care, because it’s the law.” Brad became physically abusive, but mainly towards Julian.

     Fast forward to the fourth grade, where the bullying stopped, but the abuse in the home continued. Then fifth grade comes along and Mariana meets her best friend Katie. That same year Mariana develops eating issues because of her insecurities of feeling fat and ugly. She would only skip meals here and there but the way she felt never changed.

     One day when Mariana was hanging out with two friends. They went into the game room where Julian, his friend, his friends’ mom and Lauren was there. Lauren and the friends’ mom were talking. The boys were playing a video game. Mariana and her two friends were just chilling. Julian went upstairs for a moment but when he came back downstairs he got mad. Mariana had his controller and threw it at him. He in return got angry and started to strangle her. Out of everyone in the room only Mariana’s two friends helped.

     In the fifth grade Brad gave Mariana a concussion. He picked her up by the sides of her head and slams her down on the ground repeatedly. In the process the back of her head would hit against the edge of the chair. Mariana was crying saying how she needed to go to the hospital to get checked out. Of course, the parents said that she was fine and to just go to bed.

     Sixth grade, towards the end of the year, Mariana began to self-harm. She began getting bullied because of it. Katie remained best friends with her though. In the summer between 6th and 7th grade Julian and Mariana had sexual intercourse, which wasn’t the first time. It also happened the summer before. Mariana regrets it and blames herself. She never wanted it to happen. She blames herself because when they were younger she told Julian that when he got older he could touch her breasts.

     Mariana was sexually assaulted a total of four times during her seventh grade year of school. Three times was by a guy down the street who was four years older than Mariana. The fourth time was by one of Katie’s older brothers, Jacob. He was about 10 years older than Mariana. Mariana considered Katie’s family her own family. Jacob was like a brother to her, which Jacob knew very well. Katie got a text from Jacob. He said he needed to talk Mariana. So she went into his room. He locked the door and said, “Get on your knees.” So she did out of fear. Katie found out a week later about what Jacob did. She took her bothers side and was very quick to end the friendship with Mariana.

     Mariana had her first boyfriend in the eighth grade that happened to be abusive. About a month after they broke up Mariana attempted suicide by overdosing on Tylenol. Two days after she got out of the hospital her ex rapes her. She was left alone in the woods crying and naked. He left laughing.

     Ninth grade Mariana starts going to a therapeutic/behavioral based school. School was good for Mariana. It was a fresh start for her. During Christmas break of that year Julian molested Mariana. She was going to see her girlfriend and needed to borrow his phone for GPS. He said she good if he could touch her so she said yes but only for a couple seconds. Once she felt he was touching her for too long she was telling him to stop. He didn’t stop right away though. Later that year she started to get bullied at her new school but it didn’t faze her. She also got reunited with a girl she met two years prior. Her name is Natalie. She and Mariana became best friends.

     Mariana would hang out with her closest friend, Jordan, a lot that summer. One day she was taking a bath at his house (she has done this before). All of a sudden he decided to join. He got into the bath tub and began to touch her. Mariana quickly got out. She went to the bed room where her clothes were at. Jordan followed her into the room. He began to say, “Just think of this as a practice round”. Jordan made her suck his penis and lick his butthole. Apparently, Mariana wasn’t his only victim. He molested half the school.

     In the 10th grade Mariana went to a residential treatment facility. It really helped her with mental health and coping. She was there for a year as a resident but then started going there just for school. The summer when she was in placement she went on a 5-day-home pass. She went to go see family like she does ever year. One late night, when they go back to the hotel, Brad distributed Mariana’s medication to her. Little did she know she was given a sleeping medication, melatonin. Her father was aware she hasn’t been sleeping very well. She woke up at one o’clock in the afternoon without any pants or underwear on. She was very confused. She said, “Where are my clothes at”. Brad said, “I don’t know,” but pulled out the clothes in the tangled covers on the far left side of the bed on the floor. Mariana had the bed to herself and is never a restless sleeper. She was sleeping on the right side of the bed and woke up on the right side of the bed. On the way back home she couldn’t stop thinking or crying. She knew her brother didn’t violate her because he was an hour away. He also didn’t have a room key so he wouldn’t have been able to get in. That only left Brad. She thought about how Brad is married yet talking to a bunch of younger girls inappropriately. He would follow naked woman on Instagram. There have been times where he would smack Mariana’s butt out of nowhere. Brad would say things like, “Can I smack your butt”. It all made sense to her. Brad sexually assaulted her. CYF did nothing all because she couldn’t remember.

After the Christmas holidays, Mariana gets sexually assaulted, again. This time it was by an old hook up buddy. He left a bruise on her inner thigh from biting her. By the time she told someone the bruise was gone.

     Mariana got sexually assaulted by a boy she only knew for a week. She was at the movie theaters. She was also with an old friend. She sat in the last row in the middle of the two boys. The friend knew Mariana was struggling and saying no. But somehow he thought she had it under control.

     She soon after met a guy named Chris through an ex-boyfriend. When Mariana and her ex broke up, Chris remained friends with her. Currently, Mariana is still best friends with Chris and Natalie. Also, her eating issues are getting worse. The anorexia came back in July 2017. It’s still going on til this day.

     Out of all the sexual assaults Mariana has experienced, she only went to court twice ( two out of eight guys). The guy who was down the street went to a rehab. Jacob served no time but is on Megan’s law for so many years. Mariana got no justice, but more importantly no closure. With her so called “family” nothing changed. CYF found nothing so Mariana still lives in the house. Mariana gets extremely uncomfortable around Brad. Lauren still says very negative mean things to Mariana.

     One thing that you can learn about Mariana is how strong she is. She is very resilient. She doesn’t let her past define her nor her future. She is still the compassionate loving person she’s always been. All she wants to do is make people smile and laugh.

                               Thank you all for taking the time to read this.

                                   Everything you just read is true. (this was

                                  written in the third person) . I hope my story

                          has helped one of you. Know that you are not alone.

                               Stay strong and don’t forget to always smile !!!

[julianthxmpsxn-blog]

character

Face Claim: Tom Ellis

Name: Julian Thompson

Gender: Male

Age: 41

Area: Port Elisabeth

Occupation: Owner of Reflex

biography

Past:

Growing up Julian had it all. Girls, drugs, money, all the luxury to exist in the palm of his hands. His home life wasn’t the best as his parents were heavily involved with politics and rarely ever had the time for him. Outsiders would see them as the perfect family and the Thompsons did their best to portray that narrative. When Julian was 16 his mother left unexpectedly finding her true happiness with a man outside of politics. This caused a dent in their “perfect” reputation and immediately his father relocated the both of them to Port Elisabeth --- away from everyone who once knew them to start a new life.

Julian never got the chance to understand or acknowledge what had happened. His father refused to talk about his mother and any time Julian brought her up made his father angry which led him to verbally abuse him and shut off his feelings entirely.

With his mom gone and only having an aggressive father, Julian indulged himself with things that were no good for him. He did drugs on the low, skipped school so much he was held back an extra year to make up for those absences. Instead of going and getting his act together, he dropped out. He never had to worry about an education or money. Somehow, he found his way with his father handing him anything he asked for when it was needed. He often got out of trouble with his father’s money and it was something that fueled him. His father gave him everything, he thought if he would do that Julian would stay out of trouble but it only ended up as the complete opposite. When Julian was 28 his father died from a tragic heart attack leaving him with his money, the businesses that he owned around the city, and Reflex the night club that was an absolute hit.

Now:

Now one of the strongest entrepreneurs, Julian has made it a mission to own more businesses around the city creating a larger image for himself. The one thing he craves more than anything: Power. He is well known around the city and gets along with everyone, only because having him as an enemy would be no good. He knows what people say about him around the city, some find him extremely charming and others find him vile, spoiled, and tainted. None of that matters to him except his business deals. To have all the wealth in the world is his only ambition and goal and will not stop till they are met.

Dating life:

Julian has always had a girl around his arm, whether he picked her up at the bar, diner, or if she was on a date with someone else. It did not matter, he would have anyone wrapped around his finger with a single, charming, smile and he knew they would fall for it. He doesn’t plan on falling in love, in fact, he never has. Growing up with his emotions always being neglected and watching his mother walk out of his life is the reason why he is incapable of falling in love. He remembers how it felt when his mother walked out on him without a goodbye and he will never feel that powerless again. After all, love makes you weak and what good would that be when all he yearns is power?

Julian Thompson, he’s not the bad guy, but he’s not necessarily a good guy either.

Trigger Warnings: drugs and mention of death.