#but ive never been part of it and frankly i dont want to be

[ohsweetflips]

today has been so emotionally weird it’s like 6pm struck and pandora’s box 2 opened

[raisinchallah]

contemplating the various reasons for xena being forgotten while its peers like buffy or the x files still have thriving fandoms.. its many factors but i think one it stopped being seen as a show on its own merits and became kind of a punchline and joke about lesbians in wider pop culture like it was popular it was mainstream it was regularly beating star trek in syndication and was regularly the most popular action show in international purchasing rights it was broadcast all over the world and now poof like it never existed i think a few of the problems are its been sparse on streaming for yeaars and thats how many people watch these shows secondly its not had an hd remaster and especially season one probably looks atrocious on a huge tv and the wonky old cgi probably doesnt help since so many sci fi fantasy fans seem to be weirdly difficult about bad effects anyways we need to work to get doctor who fans into xena theyre the only ones who wont say a peep about it but anyways the fact all its seen as is this lesbian show had i think two effects which is random straight viewers are not going to seek it out even if idk they loved the witcher or some other recent fantasy action adventure show its just not classed with that anymore so it loses that mainstream element it cant be part of general nerd fandom cuz its just that weird gay show and also frankly i think a lot of queer women watched the show not necessarily cuz they liked it but because it was kind of seen as like one of the few gay shows out there u see lots of women saying like now that i can watch the L word what do i need xena for when theyre like wildly different shows then compounding that with the extremely controversial finale that lead a lot of people to leave fandom feel totally heartbroken about it i think really didnt help the continuity and longevity of an already contracting fandom like season 5 was hated but also really hard to watch lots of articles on whoosh people discussing waking up at like 3am to record xena episodes cuz they were broadcast at crazy times and many countries tv networks stopped buying it or suddenly delaying release by like 8 months which was terrible for people involved in internet fandom now suddenly being way behind everyone else so way fewer people were watching the final seasons a lot more people didnt like major parts of them and it really splintered fandom as well as many people stuck by the show out of this sense of uniqueness but there were not long after xena a trickle of more gay characters and gay shows on television and with many people who felt toyed with and would be like oh they never confirmed xena and gabrielle and xena died horribly i prefer to watch the L word which doesnt toy with you about them being lesbians etc real opinions ive seen out there anyways i think these problems compound idk gay internet fandom is fickle and has often jumped between the various hot new things in a way that makes it hard to keep xena going it never really transitioned as a fandom into like the ff.net and livejournal era in a significant way and has struggled for relevance since and ultimately for reasons outlined above i think its struggled to be seen as anything other than that gay show and is viewed only in that lens its not seen as a fun complex action adventure show with fun meta elements and genre experimentation that boldly reinvents itself every few seasons but also it has failed to take hold in the one community it would continue to entice i do also think the fact of it seeming like a holdover and well the black stain of the concept of queerbait also perhaps didnt help it seemed out of date old fashioned compared to idk the hot new random gay characters on tv cuz nobody wanted to fucking tell people and remember how crazy insane and good and like bone deep thematically gay xena is and like is also just good fucking tv and also people just dont respect women thats the truth people dont care about stuff about women… ok my theoriez.. thanks for ur time

[natsmagi]

happyele just shoot me with a gun at this point. like I actually feel like I'm in mourning. it's not just about the haircut like ignoring the promise they made as children ok. it's about the destruction of his entire character. what do you plan to do going forward as a fan? caught between wanting to burn all my merch and pretend I never heard of Switch, but I can't ignore how much it meant to me and how they've literally saved my life over the years. I just don't know.

like the way tsumugi just Wouldnt do this is so crazy. the way their growth didnt matter. ive spoken about it so much by now both publicly and in private but WOW is it astounding how they slaughtered the entire point of his character in one story

as for what i plan to do, im going to keep loving switch. because the stories that made me love them arent gone, theyre still available to read if you just do a little digging. And frankly, wonder game served as a good finale for them, so i can live pretending that that was their happy ending, especially since that was clearly the intention for the story. im lucky that i have friends who feel the same way i do, and will be indulging with the series this same way themselves alongside me. its not gonna be the same as frolicking with a large scale fandom, but considering how much time and love and money we've poured into this game i think its within our right to reject blatant slaughtering of the characters we love and to cut ties with the company. obviously, many are gonna move forward with this change, and many artists are gonna draw this tsumugi from here on out. this is their prerogative of course, and we're within no right to stop them, but since the thought of just. not seeing the character i fell in love with anymore is heartbreaking, im considering going back to drawing men more frequently again too if times get desperate. i love femstars, but i also just love my guys deeply in general. i dont want to see the switch i love become forgotten. so if i have to keep them alive myself ill do my very best.

i havent had alot of motivation to draw, as enstars has been making me rather drained since 4piece was introduced, but im also too stubborn to let go. i have a few ideas for !-era scenes i wish to draw, and femstars wasnt quite as popular back then, so im excited to get to femstarsify some of my favorite old scenes once im energized again!! !-era is full of so many stories, so really we're far from starved. and i like having things left for the imagination. speculating and analyzing is part of whats so fun! so im ok with not every question being answered. id rather they remain unanswered than to witness what i love become retconned

[syrupspinner]

i just defeated Psychopomp Gold

ive never been a fursona kinda person but there's something about the thraits that activate the "I want to be one of those" part of my brain

this is one of those "what can I say" kinda games. so much of psychopomp is the atmosphere, the visuals, and just the general vibe. it's so intense that it's kinda impossible not to have a good idea of if you're gonna rock with it or not from the steam page alone

i was first introduced to this game via a mutual who I think has a good-ass taste in games specifically if they're about the severely mentally ill, like needy streamer overload and... antonball, i guess. hi nephro @thisisntapainting! anyway, I don't really have any first-hand experience with schizophrenia (which seems like what the game is trying to embody) but it seems like it's pretty effective. you can't really describe what happens in this game without it sounding like someone having a psychotic nervous breakdown. like, if you tried describing the plot of any other dark and surreal game like fatum betula or like, that one game with all the smiling as something that happened to you, people would be like "oh from a video game! what a silly YouTube prank you're doing". but with psychopomp you'd just get a sincerely concerned wellness check.

the first level I played had you going into a sewage treatment plant and helping nuggets of meat with animegao masks kill their queen/filtration system. it's like, a level above the full immersion technique of expecting the player to adjust to their surroundings naturalistically and just tries to actively fuck with you because you tried understanding. you dont get a deeper explanation of why we are perpetually harvesting the bones of children and frankly its pathetic of you to expect otherwise. is that what psychosis is like? welp, nothing to do but choose an extreme schema through which to filter all these experiences. I think the helmet kid is like if I saw the tv glow was about being christ, and also there was a 30 minute long childbirth scene, i wont explain further

i hear the gameplay get compared to kings field a lot (i typed this out, but couldnt verify it? i think i got this mixed up with lunacid lmao), but I think that's just cuz it's one of the only real time fps dungeon crawlers that most English speakers have played. oh, speaking of, did you know this game has a big Russian fanbase? I've never been able to say that about well-adjusted games, it's always shit like hotline Miami and hello Charlotte. are you guys okay? anyway, the gameplay is awesome.

I love how uncomfortable it makes you feel just by trying to force the world into a grid, making things feel claustrophobic or off centre. I like how easy it is to get punished for not having your hammer selected when something starts running at you, encouraging a paranoid playstyle where you always have a weapon out and slowly creep around corners. that part in the childrens hospital where the nature segment leads too a hallway thats juuuust big enough to hide the walls is the darkness so you have no idea how big it is is wonderful. it builds a really effective ludonarrative, where you learn about pompy as a character through how the player naturally acts, in the same way we know sonic likes to go fast because he's always in video games where the player goes fast. (also, no spoilers, but i love how well this is used in the epilogue as well)

she's paranoid, indifferent to the value of life around her, just touching and killing things. she picks needles up off the floor and just shoves em in her blood. she has no thoughts about the cultural wall paintings in the thrait village, or anything to say about the tv playing anti-spaceworm propaganda other than that it's dusty. she's impulsive, she just kinda says things that dont really follow together, she doesn't care about her personal safety or well-being, and barely cares to learn about the world around her beyond what gives emotional gratification like justifying her misanthropy. maybe this is just me reading too deep into it, but I think a good narrative should encourage you to look into a characters head and construct how they think and see the world based on their actions, and video games are special in that regard because they can do so using the player as a conduit. i could also just be straight-up wrong, this game is pretty impenetrable

despite trying to cultivate an air of perpetually having no idea what the fuck is going on, things are established in this game with surprising consistency. like, itll contradict reality as you know it, but it wont contradict itself. theres a poster talking about how venus and mercury are fictional planets, and the moon has an eye, so now you know space is fucked. then when you see the transient area with a hatched cocoon and one with a tv talking about a worm you can reasonably surmise that the space worm is the king/queen of venus. and then therell suddenly be some additional bullshit thatll make you reconsider everything you know like a child that just figured out other countries exist, like how humans evolved two seperate times. i could keep going, trust me, but wed be here all day

i try not to use the word "perfect" too much, but i sincerely believe that this game succeeds in everything it attempts to do. the gameplay does a wonderful job at encouraging a terrified playstyle, with little touches like how you have to put your weapon down to unlock doors. the atmosphere is a perfect industrial mindfuck where everything is a conspiracy-inspiring combination of man-made and realistically impossible. it does everything it can to entice you to try and figure the world out and before you know it youre doing some pepe silvia bullshit, just like helmet freak would be doing if she didnt already KNOW the answers from the start and made this whole mess just to confirm her own delusions.

like. i cant emphasize enough how fucked up this game makes me feel, theres a visceral uncomfortable feeling like my skins on too tight and i need to get the fuck out. i can only play one level a day and i need a variable amount of time before i build up the courage to jump back in there. i missed one of the keys to get the secret thingy (how are you supposed to break that silk door thing in the moth level?) and let me tell you i am NOT going through all that again. this game makes me sweat just because of how stressed out and anxious i feel from the moment-to-moment gameplay and the oppressive ass atmosphere.

WAIT. BAROQUE. ive been trying to think of what this game reminds me of and a steam curator finally said it, fucking baroque for the sega saturn. look it up youll get it

anyway! play the damn game. one of the best and most effective psychological horror games ive ever played, mandatory gaming for anyone who appreciates atmosphere in a video game. if you have fun analyzing esoteric narratives, itll give you something to chew on for... god knows how long really, i still dont really know how to articulate what ive seen. that doesnt stop it from being incredibly effective, honestly the fact that its just a vaguely-themed collection of shit devised from the ground up to freak you out is a point in its favour.

either way, this is one of those games we'll look back on and go "yeah this is where it all started" like we do for shit like devil may cry and grand theft auto, i think this is gonna inspire a lot of people to do a lot of things

things like. make other video games. i feel the need to specify that

[muffinsin]

Hello muffin tis i, deluded anon with another ask. Tw for ablism i think? I am autistic and get called slurs and mocked for it by my family n friends, such as the r word n whatnot. If theres any issues that cause me stress like putting the cutlery away- they are too loud and hurt my head. Or if my clothes and everything touching me burns n pricks me, being mute on occasions i get told to get a grip n to shut up- then told off later if i was in public. They treat other autistic people differently from me n reassure them that its ok n valid but its not ok for me to be like that. Anyways i dont really do people and am attached to my teddies n plushies- they have feelings. I always take the most care with them n i dont want them to be uncomfortable, they all call me delusional and a not right for loving my plushies (and fictional women)more than them.

So what would happen if the reader were to be autistic and a maid in the castle struggling with some certain tasks and the rest of the maids treating the reader like how ive been treated (if that makes sense. Idk if i’m making sense) so readers kind of like the laughing stock for them, unbeknownst to the sisters until some maid rips a teddy or comfort item.

How would the sisters react to this? I dont think theyd like it nor tolerate it due to cassandra being autistic and daniela having adhd.

I’m sorry this is such a long ask and quite frankly too much of a self centred one. I have no idea if this makes sense- i apologies sincerely if this makes you uncomfortable in any way. Please dont feel pressured to write this.

I can 100% see the rendition of lion king being played out with dani 😂 she would without a doubt try n blag her mother into making her sister make up for being mean to her, like forfeiting a maid to her.



Of course! I’m very curious about this ask tbh and hope I’ll do it justice :)

A few things first up under the cut, if anybody wants to skip to the start of the HCs, it’ll be marked for you😊

TW: ableism, bullying

Let’s get into this! :)

Masterlists

Tbh I’m hoping I’ll be able to get this right! I’m not autistic myself and am only going off what I’ve read here and experiences I’ve been told about by friends.

First thing I want to say hon, is that you are absolutely, 100% valid.

Nobody- and this includes you- deserves to be called slurs or treated wrongly for such reasons. There is no justification to it at all. To treat you differently while claiming to be accepting with others is awful, and I sincerely hope you will find people decent and good enough to accept you, friends especially :)

Also- plushie superiority honestly XP What are their names?👀 Have you got a fav? Or is it an I-love-them-all-equally- situation? Honestly, regarding what you’ve said about plushie love not being okay? I call bs on it. I find plushie love is one of the sweetest there is, even when I don’t have that many myself, I greatly treasure the few plushies I still have. Heck yeah XD

Is the autism and ADHD for Cassandra and Daniela canon? Or a HC?👀 I’ve never heard of it

(Lion king drabble mentioned: here)

Aight that’s it from me! This all probably made little sense, because ironically I cannot comfort at all, I suck at it in most cases, but I hope I still got the key points across somehow XD

Let’s get into it!

(Beginning of the ask)

Bela

She adores you, with all her heart

Bela loves you so much, each part of you

She tries her best to make life as comfortable as possible for you

Even if she can’t always relate to your struggles, she always attempts to ease them

The moment you open up about some of the things troubling you, Bela takes action

She takes special care to ensure the new uniforms are made of fabrics you approve and feel comfortable in, and orders them as soon as possible

Until their arrival, Bela has taken it upon herself to declare to everyone that you are not obliged to wear the old ones

Nobody dares to call you out for working in a shirt instead of the uniform, the order comes from Bela, after all, one of the highest of your superiors, right after Alcina

When the new uniforms are delivered, you can’t help but smile. They’re perfect!

Bela has the old ones disposed of, thrown someplace she can’t be bothered to know

Next, there are the tasks appointed to you

While she normally doesn’t get involved all that much in the staff’s business and shares a mutual respect with the grand chambermaid, she does interfere here

She requests that you are not given tasks in the kitchen as to not get overwhelmed by the loud noises

Nor does she wish for you to work anywhere near the basements

Of course, your lover would never allow you anywhere in the basements, even outside of work, even when she is lurking down there

It’s for safety purposes, most of all

Instead, you are usually appointed calmer places, such as the library or even the castle gardens or greenhouse at times

Bela is flustered whenever you remember to bring her a flower from the outside in winter

Aside from all these things, Bela is your shoulder to cry on, and your pillar to lean on

She never fails to reassure you how much she loves you, and how things you consider as flaws are endearing to her

She knows, sometimes you tend to be quiet, if not entirely mute

After a quick check in whether you’re all right, and you reassure her, she smiles widely

Bela treasures such silence, really

She enjoys to spend time with you, and sometimes silence is just what she needs

After all, the castle can be loud already, especially to her

Wrestling her screaming, kicking and bickering younger sisters all day and night often gives her a migraine

She loves simply cuddling in bed or sitting together, reading together or simply relaxing

Bela doesn’t mind your quietness, and she can easily either make conversation by monologing, or bask in it, even go as far as to close her eyes

She finds these moments precious

She knows nearly everything about you- all except one thing

Life among the staff

Bela doesn’t know of the torment you face, not quite

She doesn’t notice your anxiety when they make fun of you, doesn’t know about how uncomfortable you become when they poke you for fun

She doesn’t know an old uniform has been retrieved from the storage and switched with yours specifically merely to amuse the other staff members

You grit your teeth at the wrong fabric on you, the uncomfortable one that feels entirely too heavy and scratchy

No matter how much you search for the new uniform, it’s hidden far away beyond your grasp

Only when all your duties are done can your change out of it and back into your normal clothing, just in time for Bela to finish work and greet you with a warm smile

You don’t dare tell her, too worried what the other maids will do

After all, Bela can’t dispose of them all

Then there’s the noises…

How often you are brought to the edge of feeling overstimulated and overwhelmed when maids laugh and mock you, forks and knives in their hands as they slap them together

Like sticks hitting a drum, maybe

You are not oblivious to their laughter as you bury your head in your brown teddy bear and fluffy, blue arm sized blanket

Soon, you are indirectly appointed to the kitchens

Not by the grand chambermaid, nor by Bela

You feel uncomfortable at the hands grabbing you by the arms and leading you there

Their reasoning? If you don’t clean up, maidens will be hurt, and it will be your fault

Aside from this, with more hurt maidens and their panic increasing, so will the stress your girlfriend will have to face over trying to manage the castle

They know of your love for Bela, and often use it to have you do things you dislike

Such as picking up all the silverware from the wet sink, drying it in a towel of a texture you dislike, and putting them in the drawers

Their laughter and mockery rings out behind you while you’re made to finish their work

Still, as torturous as all of this is, their newest stunt is incomparable to it

As you find yourself hugging your stuffed bear yet again and cry into its fur at the loud laughter around you, you suddenly feel it tugged from you

Naturally, you try to hold on

Slurs are thrown at you. Mockery

You hear a particular loud cry, a maid calling you a baby, just before you’re suddenly sent back on the bed

You’re holding your teddy- as is the maid tugging it

Tears well up in your eyes as you hold its body, your eyes scanning the unattached leg now dropped to the floor

You feel someone snap their fingers right next to your ear and jump

More laughter

The women around you laugh and mock as you sink to the floor, your teddy and blanket held tight to you as you attempt to grasp the leg

It’s kicked in the corner of the room, and more laughter rings out when you crawl after it quickly

More harsh name calling, until eventually you grasp it

Unsurprisingly, you can’t just push it back on

You aren’t sure how much time passes until your girlfriend finds you

You aren’t even sure when you wandered off to Bela’s room. It’s as if your feet just automatically carried you to your safe place

She immediately swarms to you, her hands hovering by your arms

With a nod of your head, reassuring her it’s okay, she touches you

She immediately feels the change of fabric of your uniform. She knows, this isn’t the right one

Still, golden eyes set on the damaged teddy bear in your hands

Again, she waits for your permission before she pulls you on her lap, knowing you’re so distraught now

She grasps your hands and dries your tears, and gently holds the leg one one hand, the remaining teddy in her other

“He’s broken”, you sob, and Bela is quick to assure you

“Damaged, my dove, not broken”

She promises, she can fix your friend

And true to her word, she does

Urging you to change, she allows you to search her closet for anything that suits you

You watch with wide, hopeful eyes as she takes a sewing kid from one of her many shelves

Thankfully, your beautiful girlfriend enjoys branching out and learning so many new skills…

You watch with wonder as she adds stuffing back into the leg, and even allows you to pick a color to stitch it back together in

Dressed comfortably in her larger clothing and holding onto her pillows and your blue blanket, you watch as slowly, but surely, your friend’s leg is reattached

“He’s on bed rest now, you know”, she teases, hoping to bring a smile to your face

Bela portrays this picture of calmness for you, but rest assured, the moment she knows you’re completely calm and happy again, she will personally see to it that such actions are punished

She demands to know what has been going on with the staff, and offers you your own room, should you not want to move into hers

Bela smiles in self satisfaction as she hand picks the new recruits for cadou experiments, hunts, and, of course, Cassandra’s birthday presents ;)

Cassandra

She cares a lot about you, and is incredibly protective of you

Cassandra tries her best to make you comfortable

She knows, her fast, often dangerous and hectic movements can intimidate or scare away most. She doesn’t want that to happen with you

While Cassandra isn’t the best at listening, she takes in all you say whenever you are made uncomfortable by something

Such as the clanging of her weapons when she carelessly drops them all on a big pile

Her heart breaks a little when you cover your ears at the loud noise caused by metal hitting metal

Was she a dog, her ears would droop down

Instead, she immediately apologizes and tries to still the rocking blades

She makes sure not to clank them against one another again, instead is careful to place them down one by one

She grins widely whenever this earns her a kiss and a smile of yours

Her efforts are certainly not dismissed and ignored!

Then, there’s of course your like and dislike towards certain sensations

She can’t help but giggle when you fall into her bed the first time you touch it

She has all the perfect fabrics!

Cassandra is very picky as it comes to them, too

Her dress is tight, but soft

It doesn’t scratch along her skin and isn’t too soft to make her feel droopy. It’s just perfect to her

Her bed equals this

Soft, satin sheets she likes, and a few large pillows. Not too much, just enough for her to sleep comfortably

You love wearing her clothing. It’s perfect and doesn’t irritate your skin

In return, Cassandra doesn’t mind lending it to you, even if you don’t quite fit into it

All her clothing is custom made, such as Alcina’s dresses and the typical black dresses all three sisters like to wear

The crafter? None other than the famous other Lady of the village

Cassandra makes it a point to ask Donna for clothing made in your size. In return, she is ready to send across a few of the castle’s finest cooking ingredients

It’s working out well, and often she likes to surprise you with a new clothing item of your choice, made of a fabric of your choice

Cassandra doesn’t care for fabrics, merely the feel of them

She allows you to take charge whenever it comes to picking the right ones out

In the beginning, you worry Cassandra will mind your occasional silence

You’re all too happy to notice: she doesn’t

Cassandra talks often, but isn’t quite one for conversation

She likes monologuing, knowing you’re listening to her as she rants about her hunts and her sisters

She doesn’t take your silence as disrespect, though at times randomly reminds herself to check in whether you’d like her to keep talking or stay silent as well for some peace and quiet

She likes to bask in such silence sometimes, to have her head on your lap and play with a few of her flies while you stroke her soft hair

Another thing she’s surprised you by is regarding your stuffed animals

While she hasn’t quite got the connection to them you have, she respects it

Though, she will not allow all of them in her bed. She wants that space all to herself

Still, she is mindful to keep a corner of the bed empty for your stuffed animals, and only growls playfully when you shower them in love, subtly reminding you to place a kiss to her forehead, too

She can’t help but be a little clingy sometimes, after all

Cassandra doesn’t fault you for preferring plushies to humans. She isn’t exactly a fan of them either and rather sees them as nuisances or means to an end, after all

All except you. You’re her precious little human

And Cassandra wants to keep you safe at all times

Yet, there are things even she cannot seem to keep you safe from

Such as the staff members

You know, Cassandra doesn’t get involved with the maiden’s affairs unless to drag one to the basement

She is therefore unaware of the pokes and laughter that follow you sometimes

The slurs whispered your way… you know Cassandra would have their heads for it, yet you can’t seem to bring yourself to tell her

And they know it all too well

Your heart hurts when they talk to you, and in time, you know the only reason for this are dares

Dares, from one maid to another, to talk to you

Entertainment, as they chat and mock you subtly, trying to see how long it takes you to notice

You try to brush it off. To not let it bother you

Cassandra surely wouldn’t let it bother her! She seems so powerful…

Their words regarding this sting. How she could be with someone like you

When you’re allowing them to walk all over you

Some freak, as they say

Their words haunt you hours later even, when your shifts end and you’re cuddled up against Cassandra as she monologues about this and that while showing you her newest dagger

Then, there’s the little stuffed turtle you like to keep in your pocket

It helps you stay calm sometimes, even with the uniform being scratchy and uncomfortable

Often they laugh as they snatch your turtle from you, instead throw her through the air, right above your outstretched hands as you attempt to catch your precious friend

All other stuffed animals are kept safe in Cassandra’s room. All but this one

No one would dare venture into her territory merely to taunt you

No maid is this foolish

You gasp when the turtle is thrown yet again, high in the air in the main hall, right above your hands even as you jump to reach it

Your eyes widen when your precious stuffed animal lands right in the fireplace

Thankfully, not a lit one. It’s summer, thankfully, and the castle is warm enough as it is

But it’s hot, and dirty, and smears black dust and ashes all over the green fur

“Freak”, they taunt as they pass you, crying and attempting to wipe the dirt off

Cassandra finds you easily, having heard your fast heartbeat indicating your panic attack even from the basement

You can merely look up at her as she kneels down, her gloves easily pulled down by her teeth as she holds the little turtle

She’s very careful no blood is smeared on it or you, and opts for staying a little distant upon realising she’s covered in it nearly from head to toe

You don’t seem to mind, you can only look at the turtle, impossibly small in Cassandra’s large hands as strong fingers rub over the dirt gently

A stain remains, and you smile watery. A battle wound, maybe?

The thought comforts you only slightly

You suppose, a scar, a battle wound, wouldn’t be the worst thing…Cassandra has them, after all, scars littering her backside from challenging fights

She won, in the end

Upon demanding what happened, and hearing your tale, Cassandra sees red

She wipes the back of her hand against her lips to clean her bloodied lips, then presses a small kiss to your forehead before she swarms off

In the days to come, plenty examples are maid

Maidens are set free only to be dragged back screaming and badly hurt, begging for forgiveness as they are killed in front of the others

Others are immediately dragged to the basement

And the remaining two that have started it all, are devoured alive in front of the rest of the staff, Cassandra’s warning screamed from their lips

Never, never, will she allow someone to mistreat you again

She keeps a close eye on you, and often opts for having a few flies buzzing around you when you aren’t with her

Daniela

Daniela is a hyper little thing, full of energy and love that she wants to shower you in

She’s very clingy with you, but also incredibly perceptive

More so than her other two sisters, even

She picks up on your slight grimace when it’s dinner time and the rattling of silverware irritates your ears

Without having to tell her, Daniela is more delicate in her movements with her fork and knife- she was the main source of this noise after all, smacking them together because she is generally too energetic to sit still

Instead, she merely swarms around excitedly and annoys her sisters until the food is served

She also notices- you don’t like every clothing item she has to offer

Some just- don’t take your pick, and at first she is a little hurt

She doesn’t understand why, and worries you might think she has horrible taste

Or perhaps don’t want to wear a gift of hers altogether

Daniela tends to overthink fast, and quickly becomes a little hesitant to shower you in gifts when you don’t seem too happy with the two dresses she’s brought you

While she is all for comfort, Daniela doesn’t mind scratchiness of her gowns

Being put in so many of them for balls and events hosted by Alcina, she has learned to ignore the urge to scratch and the annoying itch caused by scratchy sleeves

Overall, she still loves gowns, and isn’t bothered by differences in textures

When you explain to her that you feel differently about this, it’s a little difficult for her to understand

However, Daniela cares about you, and if you tell her this fabric is bad fabric, she’ll tear it to pieces for you, as though you’re her fair maiden and she is the knight protecting you from the fierce dragon!

She often makes slashing noises as she does though, a little too invested in her fantasies

You don’t mind

You think her creativity and fantasy endearing, even

Daniela is curious, though. Often she will randomly swarm to you to ask whether something is good or bad, just out of curiosity, and maybe because she’s turned it into a game

She wants to see if she is getting better at telling what is good and what isn’t, so her surprises and gifts for you are ones you can actually enjoy

She brings you fabrics of gowns and shirts, food and drinks, and even once a very grumpy Bela to question whether her sister feels bad too

She claims she does, with a large, shit eating grin on her face, and you smile as her laughter is heard through the halls when she is chased down for such behaviour, likely made to sit and listen to another lecture of the blonde should she be caught

You find, you look forward to hearing Daniela complain about it

While Daniela can be very loud and hyper at times, and often enough you join in, she doesn’t mind times you’re quiet either

She had no trouble at all leading a conversation, either monologuing or talking for so long and so fast, there’s no way for anybody else to join in anyway

Often, when she notices you’re in a quieter mood, she’ll take control of the conversation until the other person leaves

In return, she only expects a smile, and a kiss to her face

Yet, as much as Daniela dotes on you and coddles you, there are others who are not as sweet

Others, who do not make you feel as welcome

Others, who dare make you feel as though you aren’t normal. Not “right”

The maidens at Castle Dimitrescu can be ruthless, sometimes, especially to outsiders

Being Daniela’s partner has made you an outsider

And having autism has made you their target

They thread carefully at first, knowing you are not only under Daniela’s protection, but by this also under Bela and Cassandra’s

Should they hurt you, it hurts Daniela, after all. Alas, you have three murderous fly women on your side

However…what they don’t know…

It starts off with a group of four who take, seemingly, immense pleasure in taunting you

Their hatred comes from being small minded, and jealous, yet knowing this does nothing to help you

They don’t understand- how come you get to wear a different uniform than them?!

How come you never have to clean up the table and wash the dishes and silverware?

How come you get to work in quiet, reserved locations and get to take so many breaks, while they are to work near the entrance to the dungeons, the screams of their fellow fallen maids taunting them

How come they fear for their life, and you never need to?

You are a target by far too soon

You often find yourself crying and hiding at your bed as they laugh and bicker about, silently wishing Daniela opts for a random visit and slays them all

She doesn’t, and won’t. She isn’t allowed into the maid quarters

Their shrill laughter and loud voices hurt your ears, and as you find yourself clutching one of the stuffed animals not tucked away in Daniela’s room- a grey, knit bear- they laugh even more

Soon, you are titled as a baby and inhuman for your affection towards the stuffed animal

You feel fear shoot through you whenever you don’t find him sitting at your pillow

Often, they wave the teddy in front of you, snickering and commanding this and that

They’re playing God, and for moments you feel as though they are the predators of this castle

With the wish to receive your stuffed animal again, you clean their beds and bring their plates, silverware and cups to the kitchens after supper

Usually, you receive your bear again

Not yet this time, it seems

“Go and get it, if you dare” they snicker as they throw it down the stairs to the basement

You gulp. You know, you aren’t supposed to go down there

No maid is, but especially you

Even Daniela has forbidden you from stepping in the cellars

You shudder at the memory of her truthful description upon being asked what lies down there. Monsters with swords and sickles, mold and blood, pain and the reek of the dead, corpses and torture chambers

But…your bear

You venture down as they snicker, and jump when the door clasps shut behind you

As tears sprint to your eyes, you hear a lock. No going back now, either way

You gulp at the loud whimpers and cries, and the distant screams and groans of the undead

It’s dark, and you can barely make a thing out

You jump when you hear a loud gasp from one of the cells and a hand reaches through the bars, as though to reach you

Immediately, you keep on running

More hands shoot out, some grazing your arm and dirtying your uniform, others mere inches away from your skin

You nearly trip a few times, the floor stony and littered with buckets, thrown over tables and chairs, dull knives and what not

It’s so dark, so that you can barely make out your own hands and the ones reaching for you

You shriek as a body bag drops in front of you, immediately taking off to run another direction

Again, you scream, when you run into something

A monster?! It’s so dark you-

“Uh-“

You blink at Cassandra’s voice, and upon opening your eyes, you find golden ones staring down at you

She seems almost unsure. You aren’t supposed to be in the basements, and were you anybody else, she would have already dug her sickle into you and called you a foolish prey for running right to her

But…you’re Daniela’s

You jump at a second gasp, and whine when another pair of golden eyes sets on you

Thankfully, these do not belong to Bela Dimitrescu. You recognize the light green colour shining through gold in them

Daniela!

She gasps when you run into her, quickly adjusting her hand so you don’t run right into the scalpel you can’t see in the dark

Immediately, her shock is covered by concern when she smells the fear surrounding you

She demands to know what you’re doing her, even if she feels flustered upon thinking you might have missed her and wanted to see her bad enough to venture into the cellars

Upon opening up about the bear, you feel her grasp your hand tightly

She promises, she’s going to find it with you

You nod shakily as Cassandra grins, having just received a reason to go upstairs and cause some more trouble along the maidens

With a lit torch held tightly in Daniela’s hand, it’s by far easier to navigate the dim basement

You realise the hands reaching out were maids, now backed far in the corner of their cells to avoid Daniela’s gaze

But the redhead doesn’t mind them. She is focused on finding your bear

And find him she does, after a while of searching

You nearly whimper when she holds it up between two fingers, the fabric soaked in blood and dirt and a rat having already started to eat away at its side

She hugs you tightly as she explains, it must be disposed of

It’s a major health risk by now, having been exposed to the mold of the basement and who knows what else

You spend the next couple of days entirely in her bed, cuddled up under the covers and crying your heart out between your other stuffed animals

At last, Daniela enters, a nervous smile on her face

You notice her hand behind her back, and lift your head curiously

“So, I know it’s not the same, but I told Bela what happened and asked her to fix it…”, she trails off

You can’t help but smile and cry as she pulls her hand to the front, a bear, knit nearly perfectly and in the exact same colour as yours, sitting in her palm

“She’s actually really good at this stuff. I made her make me an octopus. I named her Sally”

[blushedfemmes]

do you have any advice for someone who is......... very autistic and socially anxious but wants to learn more/get connected/participate in butchfemme community? from what ive read so far im considering that i might uh.. fit? is that the right word for the situation? but i dont want to use labels that arent right or insert myself anywhere i dont belong so id like to gain more knowledge and experience within the community but i simply dont know where to start. i dont have a lot of friends and my friends who are lesbians arent butchfemme and frankly the idea of going to a bar and attempting to casually socialize with strangers who havent asked to socialize with me makes me SO anxious lol..

hi anon, i’m so glad you’re here! as a fellow socially anxious autistic i completely get it. but the years i spent feeling like i wasn’t allowed to be part of butchfemme, or even talk to lesbians without fearing i was hurting or offending them, ended up inflicting immense damage on myself while protecting/respecting absolutely no one.

i gently urge you to set aside the narrative that you’re “inserting yourself” or harming others by exploring your identity. that’s not possible. (and if others claim that it is, they are in the wrong, not you.) in my opinion the entire purpose of sexuality & gender labels is to help us find each other, to give us joy, and to ground ourselves, by naming/uplifting certain parts of us. if you try something out, and eventually decide it doesn’t give you joy or ground you in a way that feels right, that’s okay! there’s no harm done. i would wish you well as warmly as i now welcome you into butchfemme 🥰

secondly, butchfemme bar culture has not been a thing for over 50 years, so you’re not missing out on anything. i go out to queer/gay bars (and the occasional rare lesbian bar) bc it’s fun and i enjoy it but i have never met any butchfemme folks that way, and i don’t think it’s the best way to meet people and make friends. you’ll probably have much more luck online, or in local nerdy/hobby groups, such as D&D or ttrpg, community theater, or your local organizing/mutual aid scene. tumblr is honestly a great place to start and if you’re comfy sharing your general geographic area or state on here, it’s a great way to find people who might be local to you!!

you can also read about butchfemme, its historical context, and the ways it’s evolved. to start out with i recommend two essay anthologies: The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader edited by Joan Nestle, and its more contemporary follow-up, Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme edited by Ivan Coyote and Zena Sharman.

i hope this gives you a place to start and, more importantly, a gentler perspective on your right as a human being to talk to others, explore parts of yourself, and find what feels good to you!!

[atla-what-is-this-site]

Okay but i feel like i need to follow up on my gender just because the "do i sound cis" post was made in a state of ???!!! and I'm a bit calmer now about the subject

my most definite sign is that i dont want to grow up to be a woman. This might sound weird, but like ive been thinking about my future recently and "woman" isnt it.

the more i thought about it the more i realized female just isnt the right word

of course the assumption was always "well, woman is mother," but as i got older, i realized "mother" wasnt the only path,

but i still dont want to be woman

As a kid, was always anti- popular girl (fueled in part because of Guardian and her extreme attempts at making me avoid crumbling to peer pressure)

im realizing now though that i wasn't just "not like other girls" i just might not be a girl

in social circles, being part of a group of girls was not correct™️ I was an outsider

Trying to figure out why

Mom came out as nonbinary a while back, and frankly im thinking that maybe i wanna be more like them (getting gender envy from your mom is brutal though lmao)

chickened out last time i saw them and so i came out as ace but never shared gender thoughts

read/listened to some opinions on gender by non-binary/trans people, did research on different identities

know im not transmasc, because like "guy" doesn't call to me

frankly the concept of male OR female just kinda sucks

so im definitely NB

hey agender sounds kinda right,

In the phase right now where im kinda trying out the label. Questioning how it feels on me.

Been afraid to talk about gender because I'm worried i might just be cis and overthinking, that i might intrude of different spaces but as i do more research, the more i feel like i am

biggest argument that i might just be cis is that i think at least part of my opposition to being a woman is that i don't want a partner at all, and thinking about my future always inevitably circles back to that

And of course the "what if im a poser" anxiety that ive felt with being aroace (and a little but from being emo)

[beesmygod]

So TotK seems to be clicking where BotW wasn't. Any insight on what the key differences are that work for you?

note: i played botw up until the calamity ganon fight and then went "yeah ok ive played a zelda game before", put it down and never went back. didnt play the dlc

i dont think anyone would be surprised to know that im a "majoras mask was the best zelda" guy but the reason has little to do with the "darker tone" or the lore but because reusing assets allowed the dev team to greatly (GREATLY in this case holy shit) expand on the actual contents of the game itself. i love gold/silver best for the same reason.

botw is like running around an empty movie set. theres nothing in that fucking game. at the time, due to the proliferation of crafting mechanics infesting literally every AAA game, it felt like nintendo was more focused about hitting all the checks on a checklist of tired mechanics that were included just for the sake of saying they had it. crafting! weapon durability! open world! pbbbbt.

none of these things proved to be enjoyable to me. keeping in mind that ive been playing zeldas since the snes (skipping only a handful of handheld games), the changes felt like steps away from what makes zelda games unique. crafting felt like an arbitrary step between me and potions. i wanted to swing my master sword with power, not experiment with clumsy weapons that stop existing after i finally get a feel for them. and the open world, frankly sucked.

mm rewarded me for my curiosity. experimentation and exploration would lead to interesting or gratifying results (did you know theres a paper airplane in ikana canyon...). botw is like playing in the window xp background. theres barely any landmarks, except shrines, or anything to do outside of getting the yiga clan's ass. theyre easy to pick out because theyre literally the only people on the road. the world is put to waste; i cant play with it, i can just observe and be extremely artificially hindered by its vastness.

this doesnt really fit anywhere else in the above open world rant, but trading the shrines for small and sparce dungeons was a huge let down. i was hoping for a series of cohesive puzzles intended to help my mastery of my newest weapon or ability. you know. like a zelda game

totk fixed this and every other problem in the best way possible; the devs dumped a ton of toys into my playpen, gave me a hot glue gun, and told me to go buck wild. i love to build a horrible contraption to solve my stupid problems or kill me instantly. i love that experimenting with weapons involves actual experimentation if you desire or you can have an inventory exclusively full of spear type weapons with vastly different properties by gluing a bunch of rocks or monster parts to it. but most importantly....the "stock up->head out->explore->return" loop no longer feels like i have to go to the dmv over and over.

sure, the depths are artificially large in the way that the map in botw was; theres not a lot to do except reveal the map and do plot stuff. but the overworld was given a complete overhaul using the empty map as a starting point. theres actually stuff to look at, ruins to explore, caves to investigate, holes to jump into, and all that shit in the sky to explore. the sky map might be sparse but its meticulously crafted so that just the process of explorating the archipelagos feels like a puzzle you need to solve, as opposed to a hurdle you have to jump.

there is so much more to do in totk that im pretty sure im over 20 hours in and havent done any of the regional main quests. ive been running around picking up side quests, uncovering the map, exploring the depths, fucking around in the sky, and dying my clothes. but its not annoying or overwhelming. it feels more alive and less like a weird map in an abandoned gmod server. im having fun.

for crit: imo, one of the biggest criticisms i have for both these games is that the voice acting is horrendous. nintendo has too much money to be tapping people who sound like they just got out of the shenmue soundbooth. zelda was not improved by voice acting and they should probably go back to everyone just having short exclamations like "HEH HEEH!" or "hmmm...".

also link doesnt roll anymore and its really fucking me up. im really struggling here lol. i keep trying to do dark souls shit and every fight involves me accidentally zooming in with the sheikah slate instead of locking on, hitting l1 istead of shield, and whistling for my horse instead of drinking estus.

also nerf rain

[rosekasa]

🥑🐝

hi anon!!!!

writers' truth & dare asks

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

immediately my best friend @renwatchesanime ahdjsja. they would bring out their apple pen and notability and our criminal law textbook

i think id also text @jattendschaton for emotional support because i feel like bren is the person ive sent so many vns to like 'am i bad person for this?? i feel like a bad person' and bren is very good at either reassuring me im not a bad person or honestly saying 'what you did wasnt ideal but i love you and understand you and you'll be fine'

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

BUTTTTT I HAVE SO MANY 🥺🥺🥺 IM BLESSED WITH SO MANY PEOPLE ANON!!!

@mozzygan : morgan my beloved: someone who never lets anyone feel forgotten! it's such a wonderful trait to remember people the way she does, especially when she does so many awesome things day to day already!! i feel like someone's priorities say a lot about them as a person and this is so true with morgan

@asukiess : autumn my beloved, she's always cheering me on 🥺 she is such a beautiful person in terms of literally everything -- personality, appearance, her brain, her creations -- and it feels like she is so Fully beautiful that just being around her makes you feel beautiful too

@ladyofthenoodle : noodles has known me since i was sixteen and has always felt like someone i know would stand by me regardless of how active i was in the fandom. i think the thing about noodles that has always inspired me is just the insane level of dedication she has to things in her life -- her work, her fics, her friendships, everything. to me she is someone extremely purposeful and very admirable!!

@jattendschaton : brenu has also known me since i was a baby and she has made me feel so loved and safe in her presence, even back when i didnt really believe i deserved it. bren has such a loving soul and i think it really shows in everything they do. their writing, their art, their tags on reblogs, and ESPECIALLY in conversations, you can tell that they are extremely full of love. talking to them feels like getting a hug. you can't NOT feel secure with them, even if you don't feel secure in yourself.

@hakucho-art : mika is my opposite in the ways that are so important to me. she is all the ambition and fire and fierce steadfastness to get what she wants that i lacked before i met her, and the best part is it's so natural to her that she doesn't even do it consciously. she is the person i turn to when i need to be reminded to stop thinking so much about what's the right thing to do and instead just do the thing and figure out what's right later. they are so amazing in every way and literally a case study on how to be naturally successful

@renwatchesanime : ren is my best friend and is quite literally always there for me. like, i never feel like im ever in an unescapable bind bc i know ren will somehow help me out. my fav thing about ren since forever has always been their brain. they're so fucking smart that i was jealous of them before we became friends. their thinking patterns feel like they catch all the things mine miss, and they're so insanely good at connecting information together and making it make sense. they're quite frankly an absolute genius and they dont give themselves enough credit for it.

[dexalyys]

curly.... ive got u... multiple different questions to ask... none of which are about lore persay...(kinda- a few of em arent) SOOOO-

realistically... How long is willows hair when he doesnt have it in a braid???🤔 Cuz i be drawing her shit like Rapunzel so im lowkey curious-

2. Does nathan genuinely want willow dead and gone or is he just spouting nonsense and somewhat doesnt actually want him to power herself off🤨⁉️⁉️⁉️

Adding onto 2 ; i also noticed that in nathans link with willow he has like only 1 star marked and since with willow and Cassidy or with Sharkie and Cassidy, those two duos got like zero stars marked in their links, does that mean nate still like.... Somewhat still cares about Will??? In a sense?? Or is that like smth else?🤔

3. ik like selfshipping is allowed and whatnot but what about like.. Shipping within the canon characters???🤨 like for example... Willow x Ashton or like.. Nathan x Theo??(THESE ARE RANDOM I DONT SHIP ANY OF THESE I SWEAR-) like is shipping within the characters okay or is it like only selfshipping thats allowed on the table😭😭😭

4. (this is where my questions get more random.. Me thinks...🥲) between willow and sharkie ; who is more likely to be the more sacrificing of the two?? And plus, in a literal sense, who would be the most likely to sacrifice themselves for the others survival and whatnot???🤔🤔🤔

adding onto that... Who usually comforts the other the most?? Cuz ik pre-reboot, Willow was often shown comforting Sharkie a lot ykwim???😔

5. and finnalllyyyyy- whats ya opinion on like,,, very unlikely duos?? As in like- Willow and Cassidy, Sharkie and Cassidy, Theo and Ashton, or like Vivian and Sharkie???🤔 random question ik but im gen curious bro😭😭😭

genuinely jumped with joy seeing such a long ask

1. when not braided, it reaches to just above her hips! he also has to brush and rebraid it basically every week because his hair is naturally very fluffy and wild (blame liam’s genes) and it does Not stay contained easily.

2. you kinda answered your own question with the addendum! nate is Extremely pissed off that willow didn’t come with him, but he’s only mad about this years later because he still cares about her and because she’s important to him. he is bitter and childish about grudges but his weird obsession with her doesn’t come from nowhere. think jinx and vi but like, reversed ages (<- said by a girl who watched 2 episodes of arcane when season one came out and then never touched it again)

3. yes and yes!! selfshipping is 100% okay, and canon ships are welcome as well so long as they’re legal and respect the characters’ existing identities*! i will note that some relationships have already been developed (have i talked about minnie here yet? no? well she’s sort of implied to be theo’s love interest) but that shouldn’t stop you from having fun!!!

*in which i should remind people that the treacher sisters are both lesbians + sharkie is exclusively gay 🫶

4. sharkie without a doubt, no questions asked. they don’t feel like their life has much value outside of will, so sacrificing themself for him would be a no-brainer. willow is also the one comforting them more, but frankly it’s kinda shallow on her part. sharkie comforts her when she’s freaking out as well but is awkward about it and doesn’t know what to do so in their mind they suck at it and they’re the worst and they’re only making it worse and yadda yadda yadda. bpd thingz

5. ohhh wait i love this question ok hold on .. i’ll be exploring dynamics between the main 4 in the actual comic (so things like cassie & willow/sharkie will get expanded on) but duos like theo & ash or sharkie & viv are curious …… postcanon theo does get to hang out with ashton more but i haven’t actually considered the extent of their interactions much. sharkie would realistically never hold a conversation with viv given the circumstances but i think she’d have an energy that star would vibe with

anyway that’s now what you asked lol tldr i Love unlikely duos!!! i like exploring all sorts of character dynamics and sticking to Just canon on the basis of ���anything else just wouldn’t happen’ is boring and lame

[goqmir]

hype level for future mtg releases (this is genuine btw i cant sleep because my leg hurts so bad let me have this)

Murders at Karlov Manor (Q1 2024):

15%. i kinda get the vibes. theres some interesting things generally but im not sure this one is for me. i like clue tokens so im excited for some support in that area but. ill probably pass on buying any of this

Outlaws of Thunder Junction (Q2 2024):

like 35%? its cool! i like the west quite a lot, everyones excited for deadbeat dad oko. im just not expecting a ton and id love to be proven wrong! new planes are always fun and it would be a delight to fall in love with thunder junction but my expectations are very tempered. supposedly its about "villians"-- of which my biggest dream is a reveal of a phyrexian that wasnt killed onscreen to be hanging out there. rakdos would be cool too.

Modern Horizons 3 (Q2 2024)

90%. i cant wait frankly. modern horizons 1 and 2 feature some of my favorite magic cards ever and ive never been around for a modern horizons release so im just so excited. cant wait. big fan i bet there will be so many cool cards dude holy shit

Assassin's Creed (Q3 2024):

5%. i dont give a shit about assassins creed. i like the aesthetics of black flag i guess. this is a set with boosters and the cards will supposedly be modern legal(?) but they arent draftable so thats gonna be a shitshow when the boosters are overpriced and you cant even run limited events with them like MAT but like. at least MAT was awesome and had a bunch of banging cards and introduced cool deciduous mechanics to standard and gave us [[Rocco, Street Chef]]. all this is giving us is ezio or some shit

Bloomburrow (Q3 2024):

75%!! woo!!!!! i cant wait for the little animals set. i like little animals. i would really like one of them to wear a thimble

things i want specifically out of bloomburrow:

give us kwain lore! kwain is such an important little guy to our playgroup we would all love a new kwain or some kwain backstory and there has never been a better time for it

fox tribal 🥺🥺🥺🥺 boros please plzplzplz i need fire foxes i need evil foxes i need foxes so bad i want a fox tribal commander ill do anything

Duskmourn (Q3 2024):

45%. wrenny is hyped for this one but i dont think ill be biting tbh. its cool! i like the vibes :) just not for me is what it seems like right now. maybe like LCI the set design and mechanics will be so sick that its just awesome but the setting isnt catching me

Not gonna talk about innistrad remastered i will not be buying that. give me anime art tamiyo

"Tennis" 2025 (death race across multiple planes with cars):

15%. i like vehicles but like. i feel like this one will kinda skew corny in a way i wont vibe with. the technology seems like kind of a lot too. cool idea, i hope its executed well

"Ultimate" 2025 (Return to Tarkir):

65%! i like tarkir :) they wont print the stupid fetches but whatever. tarkir is super swag and i hope they can resolve the weird multiverse tarkir thing and give us a swag set i believe in them. also ugin reappearance maybe........

Final Fantasy 2025:

100%. i am so onboard with final fantasy dude i feel like it will be so fucking cool compared to like marvel or doctor who or whatever. final fantasy fits so perfectly with the other mtg planes and theres so many interesting things to pull from every game could be its own set so the fact that theres like so much shit there like its so exciting like i cant wait for this one. im gonna play final fantasy 6 with wrenny before it comes out so thats exciting too teehee ^_^

"Volleyball" 2025 (top down space opera set):

95%. a space opera could be so fucking cool. im worried theyll fumble the bag and make it really fucking star warsy and thats a truly terrifying thought but i have faith that we can get so see some more interesting and solemn parts of space in magic the gathering. i think a plane with fledgeling space operations and wild star littered frontiers would be so fucking sick and thats like maybe one of my dream sets. please dont fuck this one up

"Wrestling" 2025 (Lorwyn reimagining)

cool. i like what they did to kamigawa. um idk 30%

"Yachting" 2025 (Arcavios/strixhaven)

yippee!!! 55%? i like strixhaven but showing off more of arcavios is what im really super into here cuz i feel like that could be a lot of fun. its an interesting plane i wanna see more

um anyway ill try to sleep again now i guess

[yourlocalmechanism-dr-carmilla]

Name: Alice Liddell

Position: (former) scout captain

Side: rebels(former), Queen of hearts (current)

Status: deemed detrimental to the war effort, but now employed by her majesty, the queen of hearts

Relationship: the general(?) The tow have been seen spending quite alot of time together and seeming to be close…we also osberved that there was a.small bottle we couldnt get away from her..odd

Remarkable action: stabbing the Jabberwocky's eye out, aswell as a few victories on war and for being able to overwrite comsat chesires code, fighting for the queen of hearts with such aggression and strength

Timeline of events as documented:

-after pleading for mercy for the knave of hearts, she was brought away to receive her own punishment- becoming a servant for the queen of hearts.

-comsat chesire used her voice to receive more soldiers to keep the war going

-first, brainwash was in order- by replacing her eyes and also caring for her haur- bloodstains are rather fashionable and the new eyes add a good flair to them :)

-then od course it us about making her body as suited as possible with the limited respurces..the subjecr alice has shown resisitance and stubbornness, bt we amamged to break her eventually

-the result: a fierce, intimidating soldier, a good guard dog to our wonderful queen

-shes rather deadly with the blade and swift, although we do iften have to keeo her mediacted or even sedate her when she loses it

-but then .ine day,the subject tried to murder our queen and we relaized that she was unsuited to be a soldier and trialed her and passed the judgement ofdeathh-whuch was carried out

Cause of death: decapitation, executed by her majesty, the queen of hearts. It was followed through

[notes added by raphaella la cognizi and jonny d'ville]

We deceided to rescue this poor girl- or her body parts. Raphaella said we shoudl jsut take the brain out and vocal chords and throw the rest of her head away, shed make a new one. (Frankly she is abit scary). The reason wyh we take her allng is her affinity for VIOLENCE, how she deals the rifle and because its time for abit of fresh members here, ya know? And also because raohaella felt sorry for her and wanted to give her a second chance…which she got i guess…and raph says that she did some VERY fine work which we all agree on..and so fsr, aside from usual ptsd, panic attacks nightmares, mumbling how her mind is in ruins and all that jazz, shes a good additoon! We get along swimmingly, shootign witnesses and everyone else on our time-she loves ising her blue rifle which is called “Dinah” …funny eh? Well, we picked up some more of these wonderland folks..even tho i didkt agree too…but then the arguments between them, are rather entertaining….but sometikes i do feel…sorry for her. With her Amnesia and also her not talking about her past- well except to me..she admitted she killed her parents as they supported king cole..and her sister was uncaring..…burnt down the house…mustve fucked her up preeettty bad…and i get thst…so..i wanna protect her abit more…but dont let the pthers read that!

“There's no exit out of my ruined mind”

I once fought for a good cause, a rebel soldier through and through

My parents never understood, they rather supported a old tyrant- that was their doom

A library burns far too easily and it can be passed off as a accident, my sister was in the house too, i felt abit of regret, but had to focus on the war

Oh, my mind is a labyrinth thats in shambles,

I cant get out, i keep being mislead

Through the haze i see myself, fighting, bleeding, when will it stop?

Nothing yet everything makes sense here

And who even was I before i found myself here?

Although you must say, ive never fought in the original war, so to say- but i remembered bits of stories and aftermaths…grim and bloody…

And then, one day/ a standard flight, as i pick up a old signal

It leads me to a planet, that is encased in wartimes, no one wants a ceasefire or peace it seems, as if everyone would die when the war ends

Oh, my mind is a labyrinth thats in shambles,

I cant get out, i keep being mislead

Through the haze i see myself, fighting, bleeding, when will it stop?

Nothing yet everything makes sense here

And who even was I before i found myself here?

I cant fins anyone that has sense in their heads/ and there i am, pleading in the favour of the knave of hearts- i am unsuccessful as i am being dragged away

The trial isnt fair of course and what follows is my eyes being replaced- a start to turn me into a guard dog for her majesty

Syringes, medicine and brainwash are the tools they use to shape me, drug me so i dont act up

Oh, my mind is a labyrinth thats in shambles,

I cant get out, i keep being mislead

Through the haze i see myself, fighting, bleeding, when will it stop?

Nothing yet everything makes sense here

And who even was I before i found myself here?

But then, i break through! Getting back at her, almost killing her like i did so many others in her name- i fail! My trial again is swiftly over and then, i kneel infront Of her, one last insult is hurled at her, before she slices my head off clean. Youd think death brings peace, but now- it brought fury and pain up inside of me, oh how loathesome!

And then i wake up..alive…feeling different….amnesia prevents me from knowing little more than my name…and a few locked away memories i shant tell…

Oh, my mind is a labyrinth thats in shambles,

I cant get out, i keep being mislead

Through the haze i see myself, fighting, bleeding, when will it stop?

Nothing yet everything makes sense here

And who even was I before i found myself here?

Speaking of alice..my version of her plus a song :3

[raisinchallah]

you know i have mostly rewatched one against an army as its own standalone thing i dont think ive watched it in order well since the first time ive watched it and its interesting really a crossroads of television styles and evolution its interesting i feel like far less important episodes have had closer links to each other and like its not like elements of the rift go totally unmentioned in one against an army and i do also think if it got itself to mired into backstory and past stuff well the show simply wouldnt be what it is and i think the core of the show is its extreme flexibility to kind of be whatever it wants ive seen some people compare it to doctor who which is imo quite apt and apparently it was a bit of an influence on rtd rebooting the show which u know u really can see with the whole angsty war trauma brooding leather wearing character who can pull all sorts of strange ideas out of the back pocket and knows all these historical figures personally opening the world up to a bored blonde 19 year old who wants to get out of her boring life... but anyways i think if u make a show like that too serialized and every episode leads perfectly into the next you simply cant go from wild comedy fight with fish one day to life hangs in the balance heartbreaking fight to the death to save the love of your life and have it all still work as a singular show if u know every episode must open with some kind of rundown of the events prior but anyways in like most episodes its really felt like even in the most innocuous episodes there is always this level of emotional reality connecting and building up xena and gabrielles relationship that makes the jarring disconnect of essentially nothing of the bitter suite going mentioned in one against an army when the season had so well balanced itself with a lot of wonderfully thematically connected loose two parters and all and i think while they do not need to be emotionally recounting all the events in illusia i think the episode would be a lot stronger if instead of gabrielles ankle being injured the reason shes not fighting is because she and xena are not on good terms still or that she has decided she doesnt want to fight after all of those experiences she hasnt been in a battle in a serious way since her first kill i think the ankle injury is so tonally dissonant with the rest of the episode and is part of a weird angle to the later gabrielle comedy bits where the joke is shes angry or not having fun which always feel oddly mean spirited when all the other actors get to let loose in more wacky ways anyways tho i often enjoy the mixture of comedy and tragedy in xena it simply is not funny enough or serious enough to really work and i think if it was more about emotional wounds and it can remain somewhat unspecified but i think it would truly make the episode hit another level if u got to see the emotional journey for xena to go from frostiness and discomfort in the beginning of the episode to it being this true breakthrough that she really does love gabrielle so much and that she will do anything to protect her and it could feel like a more complete emotional wrap up to the whole arc tho obviously these are feelings that can never truly be resolved and are frankly the driving questions that power all their relationship and conflict but you know...

[wayward-aeon]

Hey hello!! Im pretty sure Ive seen you around via divine-elixer's post notes, and Ive popped in and out of your blog for the past few months, and Ive been super curious about how you practice "pop culture paganism" bc Ive kinda wanted to get into sth similiar?

I have lots of fun religious trauma from childhood into adulthood and so i was like, fuck it, we ball, im making a new religion -- but im unsure where to start, but I want to incorporate my kintypes into it (aka, Ganyu having a Morax/Exuvia statuette/shrine).

Im also lumine, so like, *waves from the other side of the reality barrier* same hat meme

Anyway, you dont gotta answer if you dont feel comfy, but I'd just like some vague sense of how you go about your practices to see if any of that appeals to what Id want to create or partake in if that makes sense.

♡♡♡ Have a good one!!! ♡♡♡

- @laputian-lilies (kin blog is @twin-wishing-stars )

hi!! i'm always happy to get messages from fellow gen/shin folk!!!

before anything else, sorry for the delayed response! also, this might get long it got really fucking long, so i'm putting it under a cut.

pop culture paganism is great precisely because it can really be anything you want or need it to be. this makes it really great for those who struggle with religious trauma, or have other aspects of life that interfere with more "mainstream" religious practice (mental illness, disability, simple lack of spare time, etc) because if there's anything you don't want to or can't include, just toss it. you're perfectly welcome to compile all the theoretically enjoyable and comforting things about religion and leave the rest on the curb.

ultimately, your practice will be entirely yours. there's no wrong or right way to do it, as long as it works for you.

for me, as fictionkind, a big part of what makes PCP so appealing is being able to feel more connected to the other worlds i've been, lives i've led, and the people i've met along the way. like, a "no need to be homesick if some of home is still with me" kind of thing.

talking specifically in the context of gen/shin, although i definitely wouldn't consider myself a devotee of the archons, some of them were very dear to me. giving them a sort of platonic reverence, more akin to friends sharing drinks around a bar than a worshipper offering libations, helps me feel connected to them. i do also still acknowledge the power they have, so i might invite them to share it with me in times of need.

as an example, one thing i did as an experiment a while back was draft a couple modified versions of the lesser ritual of the pentagram. these were made in tribute to barb/atos and mor/ax, and in place of the angels or divine names, they called upon the Four Winds and the yaksha, respectively. i haven't used either of them in practice, mostly because frankly i don't have much of a practice to speak of these days (thanks, shitty mental health), but i have complete confidence in their effectiveness just by virtue of my trust in the beings to whom they're dedicated.

this is the part where i interrupt myself to say that i recommend anyone interested in PCP reads a bit about chaos magic. chaos magic is all about the power of belief, and there's a heavy emphasis on individuality and carving one's own path, so their resources and anecdotes can be very helpful to us pop culture practitioners building our own systems from scratch.

anyway, i also like incorporating aspects of technopaganism into my personal practice. a big part of this is virtual shrines and temples! i've been playing a lot of minecraft recently, and creative games like this are perfect for building little temples or tributes to any entity you may acknowledge. there's no need to worry about not having enough space or not being able to afford materials, and they never need to be cleaned. i also adore the sort of shrines you might find on folks' personal webpages, and i'd like to make one for myself when i get around to making my neocities page.

this is something we as gen/shin fictionkind have a foot ahead in, because between our personal teapots and the many religiously significant areas in the game itself, we always have a lot of ways to immerse ourselves and connect directly to the object(s) of our devotion. i don't want to call him out, because he doesn't consider himself religious, but a fellow sourcemate regularly offers incense to the temple of pervases, which i think is a perfect example of this. for me personally, i like to sit in the hands of the barb/atos statue in mond/stadt when i'm feeling down, or need to ground myself, or i just want to feel close.

i would eventually like to incorporate more personally significant things into my physical space, but that means spending money, and i'm forever broke, lmao

in terms of more "traditional" worship, pop culture gods are no different from any other god. you can pray to them, give them offerings, ask them for aid, perform ritual and divination in their name, anything that feels right for you!

other than all that, i guess the biggest thing for me is just acknowledging that, even if i may be far from home physically, i will always have a spiritual connection to the places and people that matter to me. i still see them in my dreams, i still hear them in whispers on the wind. and i know they can hear me, too.

i think that's all i have to say. forgive me if its disjointed or not very coherent at times, i'm very scatterbrained these days. thank you for the ask, and i wish you luck on your journey!

[coldresolve]

let me start this off with i hella respect you and love your art/stories, but all this discussion about torture got me thinking too and i definitely dont wanna come across the wrong way, i agree with you on many points, but i just dont think its that deep.

cause honestly ive been writing torture since i was like 11 so i know its not that serious. not for most people. i get that it could come across the "wrong way" but like... most people literally do not think about this. that being said, ive never written torture in an interrogation setting when it WORKED (i did write interrogation but actually never worked cause then i would have had to stop writing the torture, and, you know, thats what i wanted to write, so the person being tortured never "break").

i wrote (and am writing) torture because i, personally, enjoy it (and get off to it). my characters (the torturers/captors etc) are doing it mostly out of sheer enjoyment/passion. they dont try to get info, dont try to get their victims to be obedient, dont try to brainwash, none of that. i just write what makes ME feel GOOD. i never ever thought about "how would this affect people" or "what deeper meaning does it have", cause, frankly, it doesnt have a deeper meaning for me, all it means is "mmmm torture, i love it".

i. just. enjoy. it. that simple!!

and while im not a fan of the "whump community", i believe lots of people there think like me, in the sense that they just want to write what they enjoy without thinking about it. reflecting to what the other anon said.. like yeah they say it's "fiction only", and it "could be interpreted as torture apologia" (a term i havent even heard before you talked about it), but it really is just that.

it might sound "bad" or "ignorant" but most people dont go digging for info or research studies before they go writing, and that's alright, most people write FOR FUN. as a hobby. not trying to think too hard about things, you know, just let out their thoughts, frustrations, emotions, all that shit. can it come across as ignorant? probably! but at the end of the day, it's just people writing for the sake of writing.

i really, REALLY respect you and your story and how much thought and research goes into it. i dont read all that "whump" shit, im mostly "in the community" for the art and pictures. your story was the only one that captivated me, and it's not for no reason. i WISH i could write the way you do. but... most people wont ever do all that for writing, for something they just do on their freetime as a hobby.

and believe me, ive been writing for 15+ years now. all that time its only ever been a hobby, ive never done research, i do it when i feel good, to feel good. and im not planning to release. most of these people on tumblr, in the "whump community", they dont plan on releasing. they just sharing their little stories with each other. as far as i can tell, there is no harm in it like you say in harry potter or batman, all that. these little stories wont make it out to the public. and im sure most people who write dont even upload their writing! (me included, hahaha.)

just saying. its not that deep:) keep doing you because you and your story is AMAZING, but just dont give too much time of your day to all these random "whump writers" who write shit you wouldnt wanna read anyways:))

serious here if you're this far gone in wilful ignorance i think i would like you to stop reading my content. i mean this genuinely. people like you are not part of the audience i wanna build ykwim

[meatriarchived]

𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐊𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃. / just some small thoughts on danny's dire trajectories.

ive been trying the last some days to really piece together the idea of danny adopting aliases like maria or lee or connie in the dires and honestly? truly just don't think the guy has the mental really to get creative about it like them

esp w. the scenario of him knocking down luda & getting absolutely beat down over weeks for it?

Choke Chained & danny's lil like. crossover routes ( ie. him showing up in a nosy trajectory w. maria & lee ) really is more of a look into how someone functions when they've quite literally been broken. not damaged, not scared into submission, but pushed and beaten and ground into the dirt so badly, so prolonged, that its literally a death in its own right so to speak.

like, following that entire experience danny is still very much loyal and still warm to a point with the others if theyre there too ( ie. nosy ) but really do think how absolutely traumatic - not just mentally or emotionally but also just frankly physically too - how it must have been to literally be repeatedly thrown on the cusp of death over and over and over, how internally there was a sense of dread at the idea of recovering and coming out alive on the other end of the tunnel. how internally there was the fight of just letting yourself go vs i dont want to give any satisfaction in doing so - despite that theres still the satisfaction gained by completely destroying you instead from the outside in.

dragging my point back in re: aliases with danny,

guy really has no need for them ( 'aww but dont you wanna be creative and silly wi-' "no." fdsbhjk just deadpan like no need sorry not tryna be an ass but- ). there was never really a mark he'd left on society pre-house so who cares really if anyone could connect any dots? he may toss out a random name in passing but theres no personas to slip a mask on for, theres no intricate backstory really he pieces together for any or for himself. thats really not what his 'purpose', so to speak, is.

mentioned before but, dont pull danny out for hunts when you want to really toy around. you pull him out by choke chain to kill. he's not sitting in bars to really engage with targets like maria does. he's lurking silently around, watching carefully, keeping low profile and listening, observing. he waits for cues to move - be it maria or lee making eye contact with him, or them either doing the same to johnny and seeing him get up first.

he follows suit - he rarely exactly makes first move, in part to not cause any unnecessary attention, but also because his stupid, rage-blinded choices prior already drilled lesson deep into ribcage.

for how he works, its just an unneeded detail really. he just needs to know who to lock jaws on. anything else that may happen, people approaching him, flirting happens, whatever, then he'll roll with it but all the rest is glitter really. if you want someone dead, without complaint, without time wasted, then you pull him out.