#but ive also been wrapped up into drama & met people i really hated so

[oufrelou]

i wanna leave the ve server ngl because bleh fading interests but also iiii dont think i have the heart to.

[jungxk]

just one (viii)

summary: the only guy on campus who’s track record trumped that of your best friend’s - park jimin - was jeon jungkook. not that that was a problem…until he set his sights on you.

notes: first of all i wanna thank the people who supported me and encouraged me through one of the worst writers blocks of my life. all the messages and comments are the reason why i finally managed to post this. special thanks to @whippedforkook for helping me with the monstrous tagging process as well as giving me so much praise. and also @lonelyending for cheering me on for a literal YEAR bc thats how long i cried over this fic! this story is so special to me. we’re in the home stretch now x

warnings: mentions of illegal drug use and distribution, swearing, brief smut.

genre: drama, romance, humour, college!au

wordcount: 8k

tagging: @cutechim @benz-biarritz @gyukult @bangulin @eatersanonymous @alyssa1926 @skivv1es @a-sucker-for-them-sappy-shit @moonights @jeymuffins @juuneaux @catsukiii @andreaisaac @whatheydontunderstand @sreveles @noruls619 @henryharios @just-a-fuxked-up-kid @befriendswithj @btsbesharam @poemsandpunani @taelha @misosoup-forthesoul @jikooksmut @heart-eyedmf @the-piano-woman @angrysunshine @chaoticpaperfanhoagie @jsungshine @ci-yen @faby-montana @shinypeanutsportshero @jooniestrivia @alucards-s @cynamyngirl @jiminie-angel @myskoova @jkshoneybuns @smokintae @remmykinsff @majinbuwu @jangx2manboongx2 @potatodogs @seul-queen @alpharyth @blenxxxg @plsky @th-singularity @bapbaptothetop @hermiones-enchantment @stomachfilledwithbutterflies @euphorora @supachloe94 @jiminxjimout @ggukkieland @just-another-fic-recs-blog @jalexad​

part i // part ii // part iii // part iv // part v // part vi // part vii // part viii // part ix // part x

x

4 years ago

x

jimin hated yugyeom.

well, maybe hate was a strong word. he just didn't like talking to him, being around him, hearing his name or interacting with him on any level, social or otherwise. he really tried though, since he was one of jungkook's closest friends and still respectfully referred to him as hyung above all else. and if anything, jimin would always have a soft spot for jungkook, the kid he used to coddle when his own brother wasn't around. but having said that, there wasn't really much basis for not liking yugyeom. it was just a gut feeling jimin couldn't explain, a very subtle callousness about him only jimin could pick up on. for the most part he was just like very other mild mannered boy by day and party animal by night, but jimin still ducks when he sees him enter the library.

"fuck," he hisses under his breath, scooping up his laptop to stride behind a book shelf for good measure. because sometimes, contrary to popular belief, jimin wanted to be alone. he didn't want to make small talk or listen to someone tell him about how well they scored on their last paper or complain about their annoying girlfriend. sometimes jimin wanted to have no thoughts and listen to fleetwood mac as per his human rights. which is why he shoves into the first private study room he sees.

and not an empty one at that. there's a girl inside, sitting cross-legged in her chair at a desk with an array of dried up paint tubes and brushes surrounding open sketchbooks. you don't look annoyed or even that phased, just amused as you give him a once over before going back to painting. "on the run from solji?"

jimin blinks, back still pressed against the door. "huh?" he regards you properly. "i'm sorry, have we met before?"

"not really," you admit with a sheepish smile, which is when jimin suddenly realises that you're...attractive. "solji is in my stats class. you hooked up with her last week at some party and she told me about it."

"oh," jimin takes in your plethora of art supplies. "you don't look like a stem student."

there's a glimmer of something in your eyes, and though you hide it well jimin knows he's struck a nerve. "yeah, i get that a lot."

"it's not solji by the way," jimin clarifies. for some reason. "that i'm hiding from. just a bellend i don't have the energy for right now."

you smile. "it's fine. you don't owe me your life story."

"i do when i'm about to impose on your...study time," jimin peers through the window in the door, wincing when yugyeom enters the hallway. "what would it take for you to let me stay in here for a while?"

you pause for a second. "honestly? just be quiet and leave me alone. is that okay?"

jimin perks up, a weight leaving his chest. "perfect, actually."

x

x

x

[jungkook 11:42pm]: why does it say wings on it

[jungkook 11:42pm] where is it flying

[you: 11:43pm] ffs kook

[you: 11:44pm] im still on the toilet can u just hurry up

[you 11:44pm] grab some tampons too pls

[jungkook 11:46pm] fine what size pussy do u wear

[you 11:46pm] i hate u

[jungkook 11:53pm] ???? ? ? well? ????

[you 11:54pm] REGULAR 

jungkook giggles at his phone, already having left the women's sanitary aisle to grab some chocolate. months later and teasing you was still bundles of fun. he knew for a fact that you were sat there with that angry pout on your face, nose crinkled. he had never bought anything like this before, but jungkook had enough brain cells to know that chocolate was another necessity for that time of the month. after grabbing a large hazelnut bar, he pauses beside the oreos before grabbing a packet of those too. just for good measure. he strides to the self checkout - because even he wasn't man enough for the cashier yet - nearly dropping his array of sanitary products and confectionary when somebody calls out his name from behind the queue.

"kook!" the voice is unmistakably yugyeom's, confirmed by the hand that clamps jungkook over the shoulder and swivels him round before he could think about hiding his socially compromising shopping items. it takes a second for yugyeom to notice, doing a double take at the pads atop his small tower of goods. he holds back a laugh, balancing a bottle of gin in one hand while he waves back at some friends to continue. they were clearly making their pit stop before a night out, probably pre's if they still start as late as jungkook remembers. with his hair styled and expensive cologne lingering, jungkook almost forgets he probably looks unrecognisable in his sweats and cotton-fresh hoodie. friday nights weren't for cuddling. still, yugyeom's smile is welcoming and familiar. "got the munchies? and maybe also a uterus?"

"shut up," jungkook grumbles, averting his eyes. he shifts to his other foot uncomfortably. "my friend just needed a favour, that's all."

"uh huh," yugyeom gives him a teasing look. "is this friend the reason why i barely saw you at jin's the other week?"

jungkook blinks back at him. "wait, you were at that party? i had no idea!" a boyish smile breaks over his face. "why didn't you call me? i haven't seen you since-"

"minseok-hyung's new years eve party," yugyeom throws his head back with a laugh. "remember how we ended up on a boat after the ball dropped and-"

"spent all of new years day detained by the coast guard!" jungkook finishes with a mischievous cackle of his own, nearly dropping the tampons in the process. "fuck, that was so much fun! we need to meet up again, i haven't been out with the guys in so long."

"well no wonder," he quips a brow at jungkook's shopping again. "word got out you're a family man but i didn't believe it. until now, that is."

jungkook's smile falls. "what do you mean?"

yugyeom looks at him for a second, confused by jungkook's surprise. yugyeom was never quite as diplomatic as namjoon or yoongi, to put it lightly. and definitely nowhere near as accomodating as jimin. which is why his next words make jungkook's back stiffen. "bro, look at yourself. you got dairy milk in one hand and tampax in the other. on a friday night. the next time i see you i wouldn't be shocked if you had a baby buggy and a mortgage." still, yugyeom throws him an apologetic look. like a mouse caught in a trap. "face it, kook. you're old news."

"what? that's not true," his brows furrow unhappily. "i don't know what you're talking about. it's not like she's my..."

he can't say the word, but it hangs between them like a dead weight.

"yeah, right," the condescending look on yugyeom's face was starting to agitate him. "you totally blanked us at jin's after she showed up. not even just jin's..." he thinks twice about holding his tongue, but as always, decides against it. "i don't know you, jungkook. whoever this new jungkook is. it's been months. you used to hit us up and be independent and spontaneous and wild and now you're just...someone's boyfriend.

"stop fucking saying that," jungkook snaps, all visible signs of friendliness gone.

"why?" a beat. "do you even use a wrap with her anymore?"

jungkook splutters, heat rushing to his ears and hands in a stinging combination of anger and embarrassment. "how is that any of your business? the fuck are you asking me something like that, as if you-"

"thought so," yugyeom looks away from him with a sigh. if anything, yugyeom knew never to overstay his welcome but that clearly backfired tonight. "whatever, jungkook," he looks over his shoulder at him. "guess you're the last one to find out you're officially married."

"you're ridiculous," jungkook scoffs. "all this over condoms? grow up, yugyeom."

"only couples do it raw," yugyeom turns away from him, alcohol in tow as he waves a hand over his shoulder to join his friends like jungkook was nothing but a lost cause. "you would remember that if you still had game."

jungkook stands there, dumbfounded while the group of boys exit the store noisily but he can't hear a thing. the siren that had been itching the back of his mind all this time was suddenly there at full force, right between his eyes. the glaring truth that yugyeom might be right makes his knees buckle. all those rules jungkook once had, all those measures he kept in place to protect his liberty, to prevent this very occurence - where were they? what happened to them? as the sweet and accommodating counterpart to jimin, why had you never complied? though, the blame wasn't on your hands alone. he got complacent, comfortable. lenient. and now without even realising he was here, a scene from a romcom in the middle of the night, with nothing to say for himself but fuck. the realisations wouldn't stop racing, one after another on the conveyer belt of his anxiety.

the photos on his phone; mostly you. time spent, usually with you. the portfolio for his latest photography module also had some resemblance to your interests. charcoal pencils, night drives, orchids. like the ones you always drew on any scrap of paper lying around. now that he thinks about it, he's seen nothing but your orchids for months. and not just that - you wore his clothes sometimes too. his bathroom had your toothbrush, contraceptive pills and coconut shampoo. his closest friends, his hyungs...not one of them was devoid of affection for you. he wasn't even confident that if the choice was presented, they would still pick him over you.

by the time jungkook finishes paying and practically sprints to his truck in a daze, he can hardly keep himself from shaking. he palms the wheel compulsively, he could feel the sweat in his sideburns, hoodie suddenly suffocating him. it smelled of you.

and then, like a final curtain call: was he just your latest fixer-upper project? some good girl wet dream to play out in the wake of your emotionally traumatic past? a slap in the face to seokjin, maybe, and nothing more? when you were done, when he was out of your system, when you knew his taste by heart and had nothing new left to try - would you stay? did you even know how to?

did he?

jungkook starts the engine. he drives to your door, drops your bag of snacks and pads on the porch, and texts you before leaving. he does not go inside.

x

x

x

"you sure you'll be okay with just the boys?"

you scoff at seulgi when she pins you with a worrying look, taking some of her clothes out of her bag to re-fold them just so you had something to do with your hands. jisoo had already left for the long weekend with her family, so there was no one there to fill up the empty space between your awakward reply. you didn't know how to tell the girls that jungkook hadn't contacted you in nearly a month. and even though he was a notable flight risk from the beginning, you couldn't help but feel like there was hostility there. every now and again he'd at least send a nude or have a quick phone call when he was drunk or high at three in the morning, but you hadn't heard a peep from him. you couldn't stand the idea of someone you cared about harbouring comtempt for you, but the fear of reaching out and somehow making the situation worse outweighed it tenfold. 

you look up to see seulgi still staring at you with concern. "of course i'll be fine! they're boys, not piranhas."

"at least piranhas contribute our ecosystem. boys just cause problems for the hell of it," seulgi lays a hand on the crown of your head like a berating big sister, swivelling you to look at her in your fit of giggles. the urge to nestle you under blankets like a baby bird made her chest heave, and you could tell. "i'm serious. if jimin tries anything, call me immediately okay?"

"jimin?" you snort. "out of a room full of delinquents, my ex, and taehyung, you're worried about jimin of all people?"

seulgi wrinkles her nose. "god, when you say it like that its like i'm throwing you to the dogs." she pauses. "something's up with jimin. i don't know what it is, but he's...off."

you tilt your head innocently, remembering the brief interaction you had with hobi at seokjin's party. you had been so caught up in jungkook - or lack thereof - you hadn't thought to press him about it afterwards. in truth, jimin remained as...jimin as ever. if he was acting differently you certainly couldn't tell. "you think so?"

"mmm," she leans on the lip of the open suitcase thoughtfully. "but maybe with jungkook there, he'll behave himself."

you gulp, fiddling with his watch on your wrist anxiously. "maybe."

x

x

x

you nearly yelp when you feel a big hand swivel around your waist, bucking into the kitchen counter reflexively. jungkook always did this before rubbing his boner against your ass, but the light scent of citrus and short squeeze lets you know immediately that its taehyung. hoseok, jimin, namjoon and yoongi were still in the living room playing video games, giving taehyung the perfect opening to intercept you. namjoon and yoongi had insisted that you come over to their place after finding out you'd be alone for the weekend, and you had completely refused before taehyung's coaxing. and of course, jimin's persuasive nudging. even though you felt safe and relaxed here, it felt wrong to be in jungkook's friends' place without him. almost like a breaching of an unspoken boundary.

and clearly, taehyung picked up on your discomfort by the way he stared at you so softly. his back was to the sink, his sillhouette particularly long and lean this evening. "you need to lighten up, princess. you keep looking over your shoulder so much it's making me nervous!"

your visibly droop with a sigh. "i'm sorry tae. i've had a lot on my mind lately, and..."

he claps his hands on your shoulders, teeth peeking through his grin. "you're not doing anything illegal by being here without jungkook."

you wince at his name. "have you always been able to read my mind like this?"

"absolutely," taehyung's brown eyes look so rich up close. "you're allowed to have friends that are also his friends, because - and try to stick with me on this - relationships between people are allowed to be independant from the primary circles they met in. mind boggling concept, i know."

you wack him on the chest until he laughs. "stop making fun of my anxious thought processes! its called mental illness, sherlock! i can't help it!"

his nose scrunches cutely, enjoying your first fiery outburst of the day. "whatever. i call it not getting laid for a month and losing critical thinking abilities from it."

you gape at him indignantly while taehyung roars with laughter. "you're such a dickhead," you hiss through gritted teeth, yanking his hair and jabbing your fingers in his sides the way you would with jimin during a tickle fight. "whores have feelings too, taehyung! whores have feelings too!"

you both fall about with laughter, knocking over half the snacks on the counter in the process which only makes the pair of you laugh even more. it's such childish chaos trying to clean up the mess on the tiny kitchen floor that neither of you notice the front door open, or the gust of metaphorical and literal wind that follows. watching taehyung trying to salvage a bag of broken crisps is just so funny that the presence of an another voice in the living room goes unregistered, as do the footsteps leading up the hallway to the kitchen, so you have no time to brace yourself or properly pull yourself together with you see-

"...jungkook."

yours and taehyung's heads snap to the doorway. jungkook stands there with almost complete lack of emotion on his face to the pair of you kneeling in crumbs and napkins. there's a brief pause where the tension in your eye contact alone was so strong that it felt wrong to breathe. but it is shortlived. jungkook tiptoes over you like spilled milk, reaching for a glass of water. you and taehyung lock eyes while the tap runs in the awkward silence. "hey. you okay?"

"um," you're not sure whether to stand up, hug him, look at him, or even face him. "yeah! yeah, i'm fine."

he nods politely. "hyung?"

even taehyung looks visibly uncomfortable. "i'm good."

"cool. see you later," he says, downing the glass impressively fast before leaving the room just as fast as he entered it.

you and taehyung stare at each other again, not understanding why you both feel like kids caught eating cake before dinner. you could feel the sweat pricking at your back from the realisation. jungkook had no idea you'd be here, and given that interaction he'd probably want to leave now. there was always the inkling woven between his radio silence that he was done with you, but you never let yourself take it seriously out of logic. because how could months of passion and tenderness and honesty be undone so irrevocably like that? it didn't make sense. you hadn't changed. you were the same girl he hit on relentlessly and chased against all odds. so what was different now?

"____," taehyung calls your name gently, and it's only then you realise you're already up and trailing after jungkook into the living room. when you walk in he's already putting his shoes on to leave again, barely making eye contact with you while he chats absently to his hyungs so he can look busy. the four boys on the large sofa can only reply wearily, eyes darting between the pair of you like a firework was about to blow to soon. and it was.

you could feel it in your throat, under your breast bone, bubbling up your stomach. "wait, jungkook. um...h-how have you been? i haven't heard from you in-"

"i've been good," he keeps tying and re-tying his laces without looking up. "super busy. you know how it is."

his curtness makes you flinch. this same time last month jungkook used to kiss you senseless before he had both feet in the door. he'd ring the doorbell incessantly like a child and greet you with the biggest, toothiest grin you had ever seen. he'd make fun of your bed head and squeeze your cheeks until you'd snap at him. and now when he looked at you he hated every second of it. your mother had the same look. your eyes start to burn involuntarily. "yeah, i do. how is uni? your final project is due soon, right? what theme did you pick in the end?"

"the one i told you about," he stands up abruptly. "sorry, noona. something came up. i'll see you arou-"

"something came up?" you step closer to him. "something came up the second you saw my face? or did you really just trek all the way to your hyungs' place for a glass of water, jungkook?"

jungkook stiffens, but is determined not to lose face. and it's difficult to do under your big, accusatory eyes and jimin's death stare at his back. the whole room was waiting for his response, so he just shoves his hands in his pockets resolutely. "i needed to see yoongi hyung, but i can come another time."

you fold your arms. "well it's clearly important, and you're here now. so don't let me stop you."

"but you will stop me," jungkook snaps. "that's the problem."

"kook-ah," yoongi warns quietly, but he took one look at your face and knew the damage was done. jimin was already standing up, circling around the back of the sofa towards you. the red lights were all there; your watery eyes, your trembling hands. every breath you took looked difficult for you to complete and only jimin noticed.

"what are you talking about?" you squint. it takes you a second to understand; yoongi's guilty expression, jungkook's indifference. "oh, you're fucking kidding me." your resolve breaks for a second turning away only to glare back at jungkook with so much fire you can hardly stand it. "you're selling again? are you insane, jungkook?"

"see," jungkook's eyes are stony. "i knew you'd get this way."

"what other way am i supposed to get?" his lack of response only infuriates you more. it felt disrespectful. "jungkook, you're not a kid anymore. if you get caught with drugs the consequences are serious! forget the potential jail time, you could get kicked out of university, it would go on your record forever and-"

"stop talking to me like i'm a kid!"

"then stop acting like one!" you hate raising your voice, but it keeps climbing without your approval. "did you think about this for even five minutes? this isn't like just going to juvie like before and being done with it jungkook. your hyungs can't bail you out of everything."

"this is a lot of talk for someone who lapped up those fancy paints without a second thought," jungkook says darkly. his eyes aren't like you remember, his face solemn and near unrecognisable. "or did you think that getting that kind of money overnight is only something that's possible through daddy's credit card?"

dread blooms like a garden inside you. "that's...that's how you bought the paint set?"

"welcome to the real world," he quips. "as if selling overpriced weed to a bunch of pick-me-freshmans is considered a crime against humanity to anyone but you."

"you think that's why i'm yelling at you right now?" your voice was growing hoarse, desperate. "you think that's the problem i have with you being literal drug dealer, jungkook?"

he hates it. the sweltering silence, the judgmental eyes digging into his back, the slow realisation that the tears in your eyes were not at him but for him. jungkook's ears ring enough to make him sway on the spot if his feet weren't planted so firmly on the dingy carpet, this metaphorical ground. he couldn't shake the feeling that his lifestyle was only an issue now because of you, how he never felt a shred of guilt about any of this shit until he met you. and if there was anything that jungkook never responded well to, it was pity. and he could feel it from every person in the room, all people that that once cherished and coddled him until you came along. he swallows, throat dry from the way he couldn't look at you knowing what he was going to say next.

"you're embarrassing yourself, noona. you're not my girlfriend and you never were, so stop acting like it."

cotton. it's very faint, under the layers of conflicting cologne and beer and smoke, but jungkook still smelled of cotton while he spat acid. nobody could speak, even though jungkook never raised his voice let alone a hand to you, it still hit like a slap in the face. it sunk into the walls, your clothes, suddenly every hair on your body felt heavy with it. dirty. the shame came first, the humiliation next. and then the sorrow, the dread, and finally the defeat. you knew the stages well by now, and they were cycling through you like clockwork. how foolish you were, to make the same mistake again. nobody dared to move, everyone but jungkook staring at you in denial and horror. they couldn't believe their eyes when you nod steadily, bowing your head to the floor.

jimin is already slotting himself between you, his jaw tight. "that's enough, kook. just leave already."

"no," you stop him, unnervingly resigned. that single word cuts through all six men with ease. "he's right." you step around jimin, closing the space between you and jungkook. for a brief moment he wonders if you'll actually hit him, but somehow watching you unclasp his watch from your wrist and drop it on the coffee table in front of him is far worse. the sound seems to ring like church bells, definitive and umistakable. "you're right, i'm not your girlfriend. you win jungkook."

they all watch you leave in dismay, listen to the door closing softly behind you. within a second jimin sprints after you, calling your name, leaving everyone else dumbfounded. jungkook's stare could bore a hole into the abandoned watch on the table, still ticking away like nothing changed. like his eyes weren't burning, lightheaded at the realisation that he would never wear a watch again let alone the one he put on you.

x

x

x

to an outsider, you looked like you were coping well considering you just got dumped in front of all your friends. but jimin knew that face. your stony eyes, lips pulled thin as if to seal inside the collapse of a monument. you took the tea he offered, and then his arms, your face finding his chest with ease. muscle memory. his torso was a tad shorter than jungkook's, his heart closer to your mouth as if the steady thumps were asking for a kiss of acknowledgement. every time you close your eyes you could see jungkooks face, hard and unforgiving and nothing like the man you trusted all this time. but it wasn't a new expression; you parents looked at you similarly the last time you saw them. it was the look of someone who had no regrets cutting all ties. and now, jungkook was behind them in a lost list of people who chose to be strangers over loving you.

jimin sighs when you cry into his chest, brushing the back of your head gently. he had been ready for this for months, but he still hated to see you this way. again. it made his bones itch, his skin crawl uncomfortably every time you weeped. the only time he considered violence was when you were crying. but he knew what to do, laying down across the sofa so you could curl up into a ball next him, head on his bicep and face smushed into the crook of his shoulder. you used to cry like this for hours and hours, his arm familiar with the prickle of pins and needles. but it was the only place you felt safe. tucked into jimin's side is where you would always belong, and that truth was more glaringly obvious than ever now.

"lets get something to eat," he offers eventually, hand craddling the crown of your head like a child. jimin's other hand on your hip is warm and heavy when he pats you soothingly. in your episodes, you responded well to touch. "what about thai food?"

"not hungry," you grumble against him.

"we could make something together?" he peers down at your lack of response. "come on, babe. you gotta eat something. you didn't even have breakfast-"

"why am i so stupid?" you whisper, a fresh bout of tears welling up.

jimin rubs your thigh. "it's not your fault."

"yes it is. jungkook gave me plenty of red flags, and i ignored all of them-"

"oh, i meant you being stupid."

you scoff. "cheers."

"what?" jimin cocks a brow when you lift your head to look up at him. he wets his lips and you follow the swipe of his tongue thoughtlessly, distracted enough by his touch and proximity that you take a second to digest his words. "it's not like any of this exactly came as a surprise. you ignored me, remember? wanted to flex your big girl pants."

you pull away from him and sit up, forcibly shutting out the daze that jimin routinely puts you under. "what's wrong with you? can't you be polite and wait for a couple hours before laying into me like a normal person? jesus, jimin."

"so let me get this straight," jimin sits up, watching your back as you sit away from him. "you're mad because i'm not telling you what you want to hear?"

"no," you say, head shaking. "i'm not mad. i'm upset because i came here to be comforted by my friend and you're just making me feel worse."

"what do you want me to say, ____? that i had high hopes from the start?" jimin pushes his hair back, brows now at a sharp incline from frustration. "i told you starting something with jungkook was trouble but you didn't listen. why should i feed your victim complex when all i've done is try to help you?"

"victim complex?" you repeat, standing up slowly. the sudden steadiness of your voice causes jimin to panic.

"not like that. don't take it like that, it's just," he's suddenly before you, his warm hands palming up your arms warmly. "i didn't wanna see you get like this and it happened anyway, is all i'm saying." he sighs when your scowl doesn't let up. "if hobi hyung hadn't have given up so easy, then maybe…maybe this would never have happened. maybe if i had been harsher with him then you would have-"

"what are you talking about?" you ask quietly, searching jimin's face. "give up so easy? what's that supposed to mean?"

he looks away, hands slipping off you. "it's nothing."

"jimin."

he struggles to look at you, tongue in cheek. his lips purse for a moment, pink like roses. he's wearing that navy jumper you like. "look, it's not a big deal. he wasn't supposed to fuck you or anything, just take you out for a while. get your mind off kookie, show you a nice time."

your blood runs cold. "what?"

jimin's expression softens. "it's not as bad as it sounds-"

"really?" your voice is sharp, sharper than he's ever heard it. you recoil as if you had been struck for the second time today. "because it sounds like you asked some guy to keep me occupied like i'm a fucking dog. all because you can't stand the idea of me being within a meter of jungkook-"

he steps in, but you step back. "you know that's not true, _."

"don't i?" you scoff, covering your face in disbelief. "jimin, you've been hellbent against me even looking at the guy since day fucking one."

"because i didn't want you to get hurt!" jimin counters, eyes downcast. "i know, okay? i know how much of a dick it makes me sound, but its not like it hurt you when you had no idea! hoseok broke it off before you even knew about it so why-"

"because it's worse," you turn away from him. "you tried to control me. choose what's best for me because you think you know better than i do. sound familiar?"

his jaw sets, and it's like you can hear the twine snap in his head, the percussion of his heartbeat above yours even though he doesn't close the space between you. jimin stares at you for a long minute before drawing in a thin breath. "fine," he steps in, and you can't look away. "you want me to say it? fine. i'll say it."

suddenly the air is lace thin around you as you stare at him, waiting. jimin looks off somewhere else, somewhere you can't reach. "don't tell me you haven't thought about it, because i know you have. if i have you must have too. and lately its all i can think about - being with you, holding you, being the one who gets to touch you. and yeah, maybe it took having to see you with jungkook for me to realise how much i want all that, i put my hands up. but you have no idea what's it like to watch the person you love most get toyed around with by a time bomb like that. i've seen jungkook go through girls like underwear and i love him, god i love him, but even the idea of you being one of those wasted girls sitting outside a party crying over his sorry ass makes my fucking ears ring."

"j-jimin…" you whisper, but you have nothing to say. your hands shake.

"you deserve more than that, ____. you deserve more than waiting around for booty calls or living up to what the next guy wants. from jungkook, hoseok, anyone. you deserve someone's devotion and yeah, maybe all this time i've been too much of a pussy to give it. maybe all this time i was tiptoeing around my feelings for you because i knew if i admitted to myself that i loved you - if i admitted i was just like every other guy - i'd actually set the bar for something other than disappointment. id actually have to step up, and i didn't know if i could do it. i still don't. but if it has to be someone…it should be me."

suddenly he's holding your hands, calming the tremble that rattles them. his words bunch up together in your ears, the meaning lost amidst your awe. "jimin….jimin what are you saying? where is all this coming from, i don't...i don't understand wh-"

"i'm saying," he cups your face. "choose me." he pulls you in. so, so close. "choose me, not jungkook. not anyone else. me."

and there's a part of you that has already caved. that's already kissing him, melting into his arms like you've wanted to for so, so long. you're falling back onto the couch with him in a fit of giggles, curling back into his chest to hide your watery eyes, asking him why the fuck he took so long. you chat together between teasing kisses, pour your hearts out, maybe cry a little. later you would make tea and order pad thai and watch the office all night and fall asleep together in the living room well past dawn and then-

you close your eyes. "i can't."

"you can," jimin says, so passionately you shudder. his brown eyes are teaming with too much determination and ardour for his own good, and you both know it. its difficult to grapple with how huge a risk he's taking, because jimin never takes risks. it made the whole situation seem dire. "you know you can, ____. it's us. there's no one like us."

you don't know how you're not crying yet. you only have jimin to hold onto, hands balled in his shirt without knowing if you're about to push him away or pull him in forever. "maybe back then. maybe if you'd have said all this before," you feel empty, the beat of your pulse suddenly strong in your fingertips. "but it doesn't matter anymore."

he shakes his head in denial, his determination palpable. "of course it does-"

"i'm in love with him," you say. to jimin. to yourself. to the world, finally. "i'm in love with jungkook." holding jimin's stare isn't as difficult as you thought it'd be. "you know if you'd have done all this a few months ago…if you'd have just...i was always yours without question, jimin. and you knew it." it's his turn to bristle under the strain of your voice. "jungkook isn't perfect. i'll be the first one to admit that. he's made me cry, he fucks up, he makes mistakes. but he's never lied to me. he never made decisions for me. he never passed judgement on what i should or shouldn't do with my life. something that i never thought i wouldn't able to say about you, too."

there's a brief moment where everything stops. neither of you can believe what you just said. jimin watches you, frozen in his place as you take your bag, eyes glittering with tears when he calls for you. suddenly he's the time bomb he feared becoming, the panic in his eyes lighting them up like fire crackers. for the first time in his life, he stumbles over his words, and then his feet when you reach for the door, all composure lost. he was unravelling like a tapestry in front of you, never to be repaired, and he could feel it. "____. ____, please," jimin chokes, his cheeks blotchy. "i wanted to protect you, i was just trying to help. don't go. please don't go. i was trying to help you."

"no. you were trying to have me." you say, closing the door behind you.

x

x

x

you have no idea what time it is when you hear the bell ring incessantly.

it had been hours since you'd returned home from jimin's, but there was no way for you to keep track when your only priority was just keeping yourself afloat. you turned your phone off, drew the curtains, and resolved to alternate between sitting in seulgi and jisoo's rooms until they came back. you didn't know what else to do. when you weren't crying you were hyperventilating, and when that stopped the absence of emotion was so powerful you could barely keep your eyes open. you were exhausted but could not sleep. starving but could not eat. it was a miracle you even made it down the stairs, using what little strength you had to yank it open without even thinking about who could be on the other side in the middle of the fucking night. but at this point, you would gladly take a serial killer over jimin or jungkook.

"taehyung," you breathe when you take in his face, relieved. you must look like absolute shit because he scans your face and winces. 

"jimin told me," he says, the apology in his voice and expression was almost painful to register. "he told me everything. ____, i'm so sorry. i should have told you about the hoseok thing, i just thought it would be worse coming from me, and then i tried to force jimin into confessing but then he didn't because he's jimin, and now-"

"you're only allowed to come inside if you stop apologising," you say weakly, voice haggered from the hours of crying.

taehyung's pouty expression almost makes you smile with how cute he looks, gingerly stepping over the threshhold. "i really am sorry though."

"for what," you say monotonously, closing the door behind him while he takes off his shoes. "my inexplicably terrible taste in men? my uncanny ability to get manipulated by literally anyone who shows me a scrap of affection? or my absolutey shredded-to-shit attachment style thats barely intact let alone functioning healthily? after hoppping between the first two for a few hours i'd personally go for the latter. but whatever."

"please shut up," taehyung sighs, bringing you into his arms before you could have a second thought about it. "you need to amp up the misandry in this context. a lot of this had nothing to do with you and everything to do jimin and jungkook."

you're too tired to open your eyes, snuggling into the softness of taehyung's chest. you’re too exhausted to argue. "where did you learn the word misandry? have you been reading?"

"yeah," you can hear his big, pleased grin. "i know you and the girls have been calling me a himbo behind my back."

"affectionately," you add, peering up at him. he wipes the wetness off your cheeks, moving upstairs to your room with your hand in his. he fetches you a glass of water before putting you into bed like he's paid to do it. taehyung was the cuddliest person you had ever met, but you had rarely seen him dote on anyone. "girls love himbos. it's a compliment."

"not all girls," he mutters when he returns from the bathroom with a glass of water. "drink this, would you? you look so dry it's making me itchy."

you do as he says with a roll of your eyes. "what do you mean?" you finish your water with a big gulp. "jisoo loves dumb guys, what are you talking about?"

taehyung looks away from you, bottom lip rolling up under his teeth so fast you barely catch it. he pulls up your desk chair next to your bed, thinking long and hard before meeting your eyes again. "i don't mean jisoo."

you don't understand at first, but after staring at his face for a long minute your stomach drops. "don't. don't you fucking dare," another beat of silence. you rip the covers off you to scamble to your knees, grab your pillow and hurl it at taehyung's head. "taehyung, please don't tell me that the one remaining, healthy relationship i have with a man has also been shot to shit because i swear to god i'm gonna-"

"it's not a big deal," he says firmly, and he really does mean it. taehyung catches your wrists when you lunge at him, effectively ending your outburst before it can begin. he keeps hold of them while he stares into your eyes, watching the way they fill up with a fresh bout of tears. "i've had a crush on you for a while, so what? it's not anyone's business but mine so don't worry about it."

you try not to scream at him. "how long?"

"...since the start." he shrugs. "it's not like i could have done anything anyway. with jimin around. he’d never have it."

"but...! but..." you splutter, the highlight reel of your friendship suddenly marred before your eyes. "but you let me talk to you about boys! you gave me advice with hobi and jimin and jungkook and...! you encouraged jimin to confess to me. and the whole thing with jisoo?"

he wets his lips guiltily. "jisoo is a nice girl. i like her, but...not like you. i've always liked you."

you shake your head in horror, your face crumpling. bile rose in your throat. "so all of that...playing with my friend like that. was just to get to me?"

"listen to me," taehyung says firmly, gripping your wrists to make you look at him again. he's so close you can feel the warmth of his breath on yours, and you never realised how large taehyung's torso was compared to yours before. he could have smothered you, but he didn't. in all senses. "the way jimin and jungkook handled their feelings is on them, just like how this is on me. it doesn't matter if i'm fucking you or not, you're my friend and i'll always want people to do right by you. and that includes me."

there was nothing else to say, so taehyung wordlessly wipes your face again and fetches you more water before retreating to sleep on the couch downstairs. all the while you sat there in your bed, confused and bewildered and thoughtful. the same bed jungkook fucked you on. the same bed jimin held you in. out of all the men in your life, taehyung was the only one who treated his feelings for you with reverence. there wasn't one interaction you could think of where he made his feelings clear, where he even hinted towards wanting something more. if he hadn't have said anything tonight, in the wake of one of the most emotionally tumultuous days of your life, you would still be in the dark about it all. and that was the scariest part. you didn't know anyone else who hadn't let their feelings for you effect how they treated you. so ultimately, it was possible.

and jimin and jungkook chose not to do that. but taehyung did.

taehyung did.

when you finally pad downstairs after hours of ruminating, jisoo's bedroom door is wide open. and that's who you should be thinking about now - your friend and sister jisoo - as the sky begins to lighten with the signs of morning. you hadn't slept for over twenty four hours, you were hungry and thirsty, delirious from the whirlwind of losing the two most important men in your life in one day. but still, you are drawn to taehyung. taehyung, who never asked anything of you. taehyung, who was as silent as he was selfless this whole time. taehyung who routinely put what he wanted aside in favour of what was best for you. taehyung, who protected you without needing credit or recognition for it. taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung-

"taehyung," you whisper scraping your nails through his hair. his eyes fluttered open, twisting his head to face you as you hovered above him. he could barely see you in the darkness. "taehyung, wake up."

"what is it?" he croaks, sitting up with half-lidded eyes and a yawn. he doesn't know how to read the expression on your face. he swings his legs off the sofa in a sitting position, wearing nothing but his boxers and tee, visibly alarmed. "what happened? are you okay?"

you take his face in your hands and kiss him. 

taehyung stiffens against you, breath drawn thin. you pull away to gauge his expression, desperately searching his eyes in the darkness. for discomfort, disapproval, anything negative at all. the absolute ardour you find instead could knock you down if taehyung didn't reach for your neck, kissing you again. you whine at the feel of his tongue, having no idea where such sudden and intense arousal was coming from. when you pull away with shaky limbs, you climb onto his thick thighs so he can feel your wetness through his boxers. taehyung grunts at the sensation, and again when you kiss him passionately and without abandon. the sweet girl every guy he knew was agonising over, suddenly in his lap. he's barely had his tongue down your throat for ten minutes and you're already rocking into him, his erection betraying his resolve.

it's better than he dreamed. 

"taehyung," you gasp, palming him now. he groans when he pulls away to look at your mouth, glistening with his saliva when you take his hand and guide it down to your arousal. "please."

[sapphicambitions]

hey! hey! why do you hate the television format??

Ah yes, thank you for reminding me

I would like to state for the record before we begin that this is my personal reasons for not enjoying the format of television and not “why television is bad'' because im sure there's many people whose reasoning for liking TV is the same as my reasons for disliking them. please dont get mad at me if you disagree lmao

I feel like the short answer could be: “I have a degree in theatre and i prefer books” 

But really i hate the fact that the story is subject to change via outside forces.

In a well written play or book, there is a beginning, middle and end. It is a complete story that has been well thought out and woven together. Every detail is important and makes sense dramaturgically. You have your characters and your plot and nothing about that changes. We’re taught in Theatre School (TM) that the playwright is the first artist, and everything goes back to the playwright’s words. The story cannot change because of outside forces and it will not change over time. Once a book has been published, it is done. And yeah in theatre, a play can be done by many people with multiple interpretations of the story but it always goes back to the playwright’s words as they are the first artist and it is about honoring those words. Yada yada. you get it.

TV is always subject to change. Actors leave because there was drama on set or because they have other projects to work on. Writers change and the tone of the show changes. Or they go to a different network and the show changes. You never know how long the show is actually going to go so it could be cancelled in the middle of an important plot they never got to wrap up or the show could extend past the original plot idea and the seasons get more and more ridiculous as they’re just trying to come up with shit to do so they can keep the show running.

Like supernatural, which went on for far too fucking long and just kept spitting out nonsense when they could have wrapped up in season five.

Like the Vampire Diaries, where the main fucking character Elena Gilbert left the show (which was ridiculous!!) or when her little brother Jeremy was just like written out of the show and then never talked about again like what the hell

Like Timeless, which got cancelled after two seasons and left so many loose ends (they had to like, beg for a movie to wrap everything up) 

Like the Magicians, which just, like, sigh. Y’all know. I don’t want to get into it. Y’all know. 

Hell, even Parks and Rec, with Ann and Chris leaving the show. If Parks and Rec had been a book Ann would have never left!!! Never!!! 

Characters get pregnant because the actors who play them get pregnant and suddenly THAT’s the plot line of the season. (Wynonna Earp, Brooklyn 99, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, Sex and The City, Bones, Friends, The Big Bang Theory, Once Upon A Time, Charmed, The Vampire Diaries, Parks and Rec, Grey’s Anatomy, The X-Files, Yes I Looked Up This List To Prove My Point)

If an actor breaks their foot then the writers have to change the plot. Everything about the story is subject to change due to outside forces and that might be a selling point for some people but i do not vibe with it!! 

And also, you’re watching the story unfold over the course of time and something could change halfway through the season and they abandon the really cool plot they were working on to suddenly set up a way for them to kill off the main character of the show. (okay apparently i do want to get into it with the magicians).

Like call me a snob but i like a concise arch! Something that the show is working towards, the story that they’re telling and the thesis of the show, and the end goal they’re working towards. I just honestly don’t like the “stories wrap up in one season and will we get another? Maybe? Okay yes we will so let’s come up with a new big bad for the characters to fight who’s got ideas” or like if you get seven seasons into a show and they’re like “And here’s my long lost sister that ive literally never mentioned before but we needed something exciting for the plot so here she is!” like i hate that shit. I know my old roommate loooooved when TV shows pulled twists like that so im not saying it’s bad writing im saying I personally hate this style of writing. 

I just keep throwing in these disclaimers so no one gets pissy at me lmao 

I think what caused me to realize and put a name to these feelings was watching the Schitt’s Creek Finale. I love Schitt’s Creek because it feels like one concise story. The characters all grow and develop and have an arch and at the natural conclusion of that arch, the story wrapped up. I loved that shit. It was a game changer for me. Any other show would have kept going and the tone of the show would have been totally different and frankly im glad they wrapped it up when they did and as they did. It was a perfect ending. 

I haven’t really watched the Good Place but I’m told similar things about it. 

Avatar the Last Airbender which we can all agree is the greatest show ever written had a clear plotline throughout the whole series and a goal they were working towards even if they did have side plots, it was all building up to one endgame. And it was stellar. 

I also recently rewatched parks and rec which is one of my favorite shows of all time and i do truly love it but like the whole point of the show originally was that they were gonna build a park and there were times in the show that they just totally forgot about that goal to work on other storylines until they were like ANN’S LEAVING WE GOTTA BREAK GROUND. That’s annoying! And once parks and rec started getting really popular and making more money they were able to be like “let’s send them to england! France! DC! Scotland! San Francisco! Let’s bring in Michelle Obama and Joe Biden and John McCain and Madeleine Albright! Which like all of that was really cool and some of the best parts of the series but also just another example of how the show changed over time as they got more name recognition and money. 

Also lmao i just had the thought that it doesn't really matter what community did because the point of that show was to be batshit and they succeeded spectacularly. What a good time. Just had to add that in there. 

So yeah that’s why i hate the television format because everything is subject to change from the plot to the tone to the writing to the characters and a lot of times there isn’t a clear narrative arch as they’re just coming up with nonsense to keep the show going and i just don’t vibe with that. 

So if i hate the television format why do i still watch it, you ask? You never shut about tv shows on your blog and yet here you are declaring that you hate them. What’s up with that. Well, the answer is simple. I have major FOMO. Also lmao quite honestly i just recently came to these conclusions and put words to these feelings during the quarantine so after 23 years of being pissy at tv shows all the time i honestly probably will watch less of it. I probably wont stop completely tho. Ive already said that im not gonna watch tv shows with queer characters until the show is over and its been confirmed for me that the show treats its queer characters and viewers with respect and dignity and i stand by that. (It’s the only reason why ive started to watch black sails.) im for sure never watching another cw show again. I have literally never finished a CW show because something has happened in it halfway through that pissed me off so much i never finished the series

So that’s my opinion does anyone also feel the same way? I feel like im crazy

[kiwilana]

TouyaMight

sdkfjhsdkf listen don’t judge mE

this is a thread ive been writing on twitter since november,,,,, 

--------------------------------------------

     Pissing off his father always gave Touya the greatest thrill. To know he was the one to put the angry scowl on his face and the furrow between his brows, well, it brought him a sense of sadistic joy.

What? He deserved to give his old man shit considering all the fucked up shit he had to go through

So whenever an opportunity came up to fuck with the number 2, Touya took it. 

Painting over the billboards that had his dad’s face? Kids play. 

Ruining his costumes with bleach in very strategic areas? Amateur hour. 

Bulk ordering All Might Merch to his agency? Done and done.

So when Touya joined his father and siblings at the most recent Hero’s Gala and saw the number 1 hero was also in attendance well…. He couldn’t just /miss/ a perfect opportunity like this! It would practically be a crime!

Fuyumi of course knew him all too well, he could see her bee lining to him, and he just /smiled/ and gave her a jaunty little wave, ignoring her calling his name as he sidled up to where the number 1 hero was conversing with others.

Touya could practically feel the heat of his father’s stare as slides in close to the blonde, one scarred hand delicately placed on a deliciously muscular arm. 

“Hey, I don’t think we’ve met before this, the name’s Touya Todoroki, it’s a pleasure to meet you All Might.” Touya flashes him his best smile, a soft curl of his lips and a fluttering of his eyelashes. 

He knows he’s a sight, white hair styled back, slinky black dress with high slits, heels, and of course the multitude of burn scars covering a majority of his body. 

Endeavor had nearly blown a gasket when he showed up like this, it was only the fact they were in public that kept him from scolding Touya. 

“Young Todoroki! It is a pleasure to meet you! It’s certainly unfortunate we haven’t been able to meet before now, I do not often attend these sorts of functions!” All Might’s smile was wide and bright and Touya kinda wished he had a pair of sunglasses damn those pearly whites were shining in his eyes. 

“It /is/ a shame huh? We could always meet up afterwards, I know a few restaurants.” The temperature in the room rose by several degrees and Touya could hear his sisters groan and Natuo’s muffled snort. 

The conversations around them had fallen into startled silence at the fact the son of Endeavor, All Might’s biggest rival, had just asked the number 1 hero out. 

All Might could only stare at Touya in shock, the offer of a date was unexpected and the hero couldn’t fight the flush that burned the tips of his ears, “I appreciate the offer young Todoroki but unfortunately I will have to decline.”

Before the white haired man could reply Endeavor is there, large hand wrapped around the slim arm and pulling him away, face positively thunderous. 

“Maybe next time All Might!” 

Touya laughed even as Endeavor dragged him out of the event.

Mission accomplished.

--------

The argument Touya and Enji got into once they reached home almost made the spectacle not worth it. Especially when the argument got heated enough and accusations thrown around that Touya’s tenuous control on his quirk slipped. 

The dark burn across his arms didn’t even hurt, not really, and that was the bad part. It meant that he’d burned straight past a 2nd degree burn to 3rd and he was going to be stuck in the hospital /again/. 

He hated being stuck in the hospital, he practically lived at the goddamn place. The whole staff knew him since he'd been coming there since he was young, how fucked up is that. 

 The pitying looks as they gave while they looked over his burns and decided whether or not he’d need another skin graft were so fucking annoying. 

He hated all of it. 

If he snarked more at the staff then necessary it wasn’t his fault really. The place was boring and stressful and he hated being stuck here. 

There were never that many other patients for him to talk to, the hospital was a private one for top heroes and their families, so Touya rarely saw other people. Most of his day was spent chatting with doctors and nurses and bitching about the extra meal replacement drinks he had to take. 

So when he noticed the frail looking blond man, he couldn’t help but be interested. The man was sitting outside in a hospital gown, and Touya took a seat next to him. 

“Damn, what’d happened to you?”

At least the guy didn’t look offended, a win in Touya’s books honestly. 

No, the guy snorted a laugh and gave Touya a surprisingly soft smile that made the gauntness of his face soften and Touya couldn’t help the thought that he wasn’t bad looking when he smiled. 

“A fight with a villain unfortunately. He got a lucky shot in and damaged me pretty bad.”

“Damn that’s gotta fucking suck. Especially since you’re stuck in this boring as hell place now.”

That earned him another smile. 

“Oh I don’t think it’ll be that bad, after all you’re here no? The man who asked out All Might is quite interesting I think.”

“Damn, so you saw me get rejected! Well, then you already know me, what’s your name? Since it seems like we both might be stuck here a while.” “I am Yagi Toshinori, it’s a pleasure to meet you properly Touya.”

-----

The next time Touya meets Yagi several days have passed by. He finds the older man slumped over in one of the comfier chairs, IV line in his arms and he looks absolutely /miserable/. 

Touya can’t help but feel bad for the poor guy, he looks worse than usual, his tanned skin unhealthily pale and breathing laboured. 

So he settles in next to Yagi, arms and legs thrown over the arm rests of his chair. 

“Damn, you’re lookin’ worse today Yagi-san, what happened?”

The tall man blinks at his new companion, a small smile stretching across his face. 

“Ah, we’re trying a new treatment today and well… it’s a bit taxing. I’m afraid I won’t be very good company today Todoroki-san.”

“Ah man, don’t call me that, makes me feel like my brothers or dad. Call me Touya.”

“Touya-san then.”

Touya fixes his eyes on bright blue ones and grins, he thought it would’ve been more of a struggle to get the blond to call him by name. 

“Well, since you’re feeling bad, how about a story? Natsu and the nurses used to read me some when I was stuck in bed.”

He doesn’t even really wait for a response before starting.

“So you like, remember how I told you I asked out all might yah? Lemme tell you about it. So like, there’s this party, and dad wants us all to go because the public has been asking about his family and all that. And so I came to the party, dressed amazingly right. Like I got this bOMB ass dress. Dad nearly blew a gasket when I came in it."

Touya wiggles his fingers and arms, making motions as he tells his version of the events. The growing smile on Yagi’s face just made him be more dramatic with his storytelling and movements. 

-----

"And there he is. There's All Might. The big kahuna himself. And my little brain gerbils start moving. And I get the idea. ‘How else should i make dad mad today?’ And that’s when it comes to me. ASK OUT ALL MIGHT."

“Wait was this before or after you kicked the guy who whistled at you?”

“After- so anyWAYS-”

-----

"And then the car explodes."

"What????!"

"Okay not really. Figuratively. Dad burned the roof again."

"Okay so maybe a little literally? I dunno english is hard."

"Touya were speaking japanese"

"Fuck"

-----

By the end of the story they’re both laughing and Touya feels light and happy as Yagi chortles at the selfie he managed to take while being dragged out of the party.

It was nice to see Yagi smiling again instead of hunched in on himself in pain and discomfort. 

“Thank you Touya-san, your story really did help. You’re quite the story teller. I’d love to hear more of them from you.”

“Sure! I always love having a captive audience, it’s the drama queen in me. “

-----

Yagi is the one to find Touya next time. 

He finds the younger man pressed in a dark corner under a staircase of all places. 

He wouldn’t have even noticed him if he hadn’t heard the soft sound of sniffling, and his heroic heart couldn’t just leave someone that’s so obviously in distress alone. 

It's a bit uncomfortable to climb under the staircase to settle next to Touya, listening quietly to his sniffles. It makes his heart squeeze a little and Yagi has to fight the urge to give the younger man a hug. 

Touya eventually notices him, big turquoise eyes meeting his own blue ones, there's tears clinging to the corners of his eyes. 

“Do you want me to call your nurse Touya-san?”

Touya shakes his head, lips pursing together before he drops his head down onto his arms.

“No. ‘S okay. ‘S nothing they can do. ‘M not allowed any more pain meds until tomorrow.”

The confusion on Yagi’s face has the unscarred parts of Touya’s cheeks flushing. 

“I.. had some issues with getting a/ddicted a few years ago. They’ve kept a tighter control on my medications since then. ‘S kay tho. The pain’s not too bad.. I’ll get over it soon.”

“Then.. how about I tell you a story? Let’s see… there was this time when I was in America…”

By the time Yagi reaches the end of his crazy tale Touya’s smiling and laughing, pain forgotten for the moment. 

“Honestly Yagi-san! How do you accidentally steal a penguin!”

“Ah well! That’s a mystery not even I know! And I was there!”

The tears on Touya’s cheeks were from laughter this time, and Yagi smiled so softly, a big hand reaching up to gently brush them away from Touya’s cheek.

And Touya /leans/ into his hand, eyes fluttering shut as he pressed into the warm and calloused palm. 

Yagi can feel his heart race faster and his ears burn red at the serene face. 

“Thank you Yagi-san… will you tell me another one…? It’s.. it’s a good distraction from the pain.”

“Of course Touya-san.”

The two of them spend hours like that, sitting under the dark staircase, Touya eventually leaning against Yagi’s bony shoulder, eyes shut as he listens to the deep voice rumble out tales of his times in America. 

It’s how their nurses find them.

They’re practically frantic with worry considering the two have been missing for hours. 

They get scolded thoroughly and before they separate Touya wraps one hand around one of Yagi’s own and gives him another one of those smiles that makes the blond’s heart race. 

“Let’s have lunch tomorrow Yagi-san.”

“I would love that Touya.”

-----

It becomes a new part of their routine, meeting up together to have lunch. 

The both of them were on pretty similar dietary plans, both meals were full of high calorie foods. Yagi explained it was to keep his weight up as he adjusted to the loss of his stomach. While Touya told the blond that his quirk burned through his calories so fast that if he didn’t constantly eat he’d easily end up malnourished. 

They end up closer as the days turn into weeks. It wasn’t uncommon to find them together, sitting and chatting, even occasionally finding them leaning against each other, the fatigue taking hold as they napped against each other. 

You could say the nurses had a field day with that one and took quite a few pictures. And if Touya and Yagi might’ve asked for their own copies well.. That was their business. 

If Yagi had a picture of them tucked into his wallet no one needed to know. 

And if Touya had his tucked into his desk drawer, that was for him to know. 

Occasionally visitors would come for Yagi, a small old man, a rather plain looking man and occasionally a man he recognized as All Might’s sidekick, Sir Nighteye. Those days he wouldn’t see much of Yagi, his lunches were spent alone in his room craving the presence of the other man. 

Yagi asked him about it, the day after he received Sir Nighteye as a guest again, and asked him why his family never seemed to visit him. 

Explaining to Yagi that his father didn’t let his siblings come visit was… awkward. The frown that crossed the normally jovial blond’s face at his explanation made Touya feel…. Ashamed? Awkward? 

He wasn’t quite sure honestly, but his cheeks burned and he rubbed at the back of his neck, unable to look into those piercing eyes. 

So he didn’t notice when Yagi moved closer to him. 

Not until those bony arms were wrapping around him, pulling him into a gentle hug, his bony chin resting atop the fluffy white mess that was Touya’s hair. 

And Touya just /melted/. He slumped into those arms, cheek rubbing against Yagi’s shirt as he clung to the older man. He could feel the pressure building up in the back of his throat and had to blink back tears. 

How long has it been since someone’s held him? 

“It’s alright Touya. I’m here.”

The soft voice and warm hands resting on his back, it was enough, and Touya shook in those deceptively strong arms, soft sobs leaving him as his tears soaked into Yagi’s shirt. 

They spent hours like that, Touya curled in Yagi’s arms, the blond never letting him go, even when his tears ran dry. 

It was so warm.

Touya never wanted to leave his arms. 

-----

Then the day came for Touya to be discharged. 

He’d stayed in the hospital for over a month now. The skin grafts on his arms had attached properly and had healed enough that he could go home. Fuyumi told Touya that she’d be the one coming to pick him up, Dad was going to be at work and unavailable. 

She told him she’d be there after school let out. 

Touya felt something sink in his chest as the nurses removed his bandages for the last time. His arms were… hard to look at and he avoided it as he slipped on the loose long sleeved shirt. Touya packed away the few clothes he had, fingers pausing over the picture of him and Yagi sleeping against each other. 

His chest squeezed tight at the thought of leaving. He didn’t want to leave the blond man. Ever since that breakdown in his arms Yagi had been so kind, the blond man was always touching him, lingering touches on his hands and shoulders, bringing him into hugs more often. 

Touya didn’t want to lose that. 

He… didn’t want to lose what connection he had with Yagi.

He didn’t want the blond to forget him.

He….

He liked him. 

Touya had to find Yagi before he left. 

-----

It wasn’t hard to find him. 

When Yagi wasn’t in his room or with his nurses and doctors, it's a safe bet to say he’d be outside relaxing, and he was. Seeing him sitting there made Touya’s stomach flutter and fuck he felt /nervous/.

The smile Yagi gave him when Touya stepped towards him made his heart beat faster, he could feel his palms getting clammy with sweat. Fuck.Touya had never felt like this before. It was.. Overwhelming. 

“Touya! It’s good to see you!”

How could one man be so adorable?

“Yagi… you’re.. You’re looking good today.”

Touya could feel the nerves twisting up at his insides as he took the offered seat next to the blond, the hot cup of tea Yagi gently pressed into his hands helped ground him a little. He could do this. He didn’t know if there’d be another chance. 

“I’m being discharged today.”

Yagi’s smile shrunk and he sighed deeply, “So soon..? I’m going to miss seeing you. I’ve greatly enjoyed your company here Touya. It’s made my stay much more bearable.”

“Yagi. I…” 

Touya trailed off as those bright blue eyes stared into his own, and he couldn’t help himself. 

His scarred hands gently cupped sunken in cheeks and Touya leaned up, pressing his lips softly against the older man’s, just a soft press of their lips that made Touya’s stomach flip flop in joy and dread. 

“Yagi, I really like you.”

Yagi’s stunned silence filled the small courtyard, beautiful blue eyes wide with surprise as a bright flush grew across the tops of his cheeks. 

Touya thought he looked gorgeous. 

“I. Well, I ah, I’m flattered Touya but.. I am many years older than you. I’m older than your father.”

/That wasn’t a no./

“So what? I don’t care about that Yagi. You /know/ that. I like you. I really really like you. I want to spend more time with you Yagi. I want, I want to hold your hand, I want to kiss you again, I want to eventually take you out on dates. I. If you really don’t, feel like that. It’s /okay/. I just. Fuck-”

He was rambling, his eyes squeezed shut and hands gripping his pants. Touya couldn’t put into words all the things he wanted. He just.. Wanted Yagi.

Larger hands gently wrapped around his own and Touya blinked watery eyes up, and Yagi was much closer now, mouth quirked in a small smile that made the white haired man’s stomach flip pleasantly. 

“Touya. Is this.. Do you really want this?”

“/Yes/.”

And those lips were pressing to his again and the dread in his stomach disappeared as those big hands held him so gently, like he was something fragile and /precious/, and Touya clung to the taller man, pressing kiss after kiss to his mouth. 

By the time they stopped they were both flushed and panting, lips swollen and wide smiles on their faces. 

“Well then, I suppose you should call me Toshinori now.”

Touya laughed and kissed the man again. 

“Whatever you say Toshi.”

[missmonsters2]

The Color of You || Part V

PAIRING: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader/OFC

Summary: It was another mission Natasha was assigned to. Nothing she hasn’t done before. Same mission, different people. Sent undercover to investigate William Cain, suspect to funding terrorism and smuggling weaponry. Under the disguise of Natanya Rovinski, Natasha is ready for another routine mission. Until she met you, William’s fiancé. 

Warnings: There are dark elements to this series. Also, smut later on. 

Genre: Angst, Romance, Drama, Action

NOTE: Drop a comment to be added to tag list! You ever just write a part, and you’re like FINALLY I AM HERE.

PART I || PART II || PART III || PART IV 

PART V of X

Count: 2259

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The cab ride home was silent. 

Natasha’s mind was reeling as she sat next to you, a wide gap between the two of you as you sat on opposite ends in the backseat. 

You were looking out the window, elbow resting against the ledge as your knuckles were pressed against your lips.

Natasha took in your form, wondering how she got to this point. One moment she had made a mistake and then the next, she was under you.

She thought back to just 30 minutes ago.

“What in the hell were you thinking?!”

Eyes wide, Natasha was too stunned to even respond. You got off of her, pulling her up with you. Turning your head, you looked toward the direction of where the men ran off too.

“We should get out of here,” you say quietly, pulling Natasha along with you back to the main road where you had a cab waiting.

Just before you reached the cab, Natasha seemed to finally come back to her senses, coming to an abrupt stop and yanking you back with her.

“No, what the hell are you doing here? How did you know I was here?” Natasha asks you immediately, and you frown.

“Let’s get out of here first and I’ll...I’ll explain, okay?”

“Then let’s go back to my place then,” Natasha suggests. After the night she’s had, she’s not exactly too keen on going back to where William lives.

“I can’t,” you tell her and Natasha raises her brow. “They’ll know if I’m missing.”

Natasha doesn’t know what to say to that because the way you say it while looking over your shoulder makes her want to pull you into her arms, but she just sighs and nods instead, following you into the cab.

You get the cab to stop further away from the estates. Natasha raises an eye at you as you pay the driver. Natasha understood that you didn’t want the driver to know that you were from the Cain’s estate. 

You were trying to minimize your steps and involvement, and you seemed adept to it.

The walk was a little long, but when the two of you arrived, Natasha noted that the estate was quiet. There were no lights on, and it was clear everyone had gone home for the night. 

Natasha let you lead her around to the back of the house, watching as you looked up at one of the security cameras, waiting for it to turn before you pulled her quickly past it.

You quietly pulled opened the kitchen door, lightly stepping in while Natasha followed behind you. As you passed the kitchen island, the lights suddenly turned on.

Natasha ducked to hide next to your leg while you looked up to see who was there.

“Evelyn,” Natasha heard you say. 

“It’s quite late. What are you doing down here, miss?” 

The voice was accented, and Natasha looked into the reflection of the oven. She caught wisps of blonde hair and an all too familiar pencil skirt.

It was that woman who was with William during the meeting. Why was she here?

“Yes,” Natasha listened as you spoke. She looked up to see your serious expression that had a slightly displeased tone to it. “I was just getting water. I am allowed to do that, you know.”

Allowed? Natasha thought. Were you being sarcastic with this woman?

“I meant nothing by it, miss.”

Natasha watched as you merely nodded sharply.

“Please turn off the lights, it’s hurting my eyes. I’m going to retire to my room.”

Evelyn nodded, turning off the lights as she got ready to leave. Before she did, she looked over her shoulder at you once more, and you opened the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

You waited until Evelyn was gone, letting out a quiet breath, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. 

You looked down at Natasha who was right next to your legs and found she was already staring intently at you. 

You beckoned her to follow you, wanting to get to your room before Evelyn might catch you. 

It was quick work to make it up the stairs and to your room. Once you had made it in, you shut the door with a soft click, locking it before leaning your back against it.

Natasha took a couple steps deeper in, noticing the quietness and the fact that William wasn’t in here.

“Where is he?” Natasha asked, turning to you in the dark room only illuminated by the moon outside.

“At his office,” you tell her, walking to put the water bottle on the table counter before making your way over to stand at the window. 

“Isn’t this a bad idea in case he comes back and I’m still here?” Natasha asked, staring at your form.

You were wearing a jacket and even when you took it off, you were wearing a long-sleeved shirt.

It occurred to Natasha that she’s never seen you in short sleeves. Even in your studio, you wore oversized t-shirts where the sleeve came down past your elbows.

“We don’t share the same bedroom.”

You turned back to face Natasha, leaning against the windowsill as you crossed your arms over your stomach. The moonlight hit your back, seeping around you and Natasha thought you looked incredibly soft. She was tempted to walk over, wrap her arms around you, and steal you away.

But she didn’t.

She needed answers.

“Explain.”

Natasha watched as you licked your bottom lip, dragging your teeth over it swiftly. You get up, walking over and meeting Natasha halfway as you stood before her.

“Can I ask you something first?” 

Natasha tilts her head, regarding you but finally nods.

“What did you plan to do with me after?”

At first, Natasha doesn’t understand the question, but then she realizes that you were asking her what she would’ve done with you after taking William down.

Because you knew that she eventually would.

Meaning...you knew who she was.

“How did you know about me? How did you know I was there?” Natasha asks again more sternly this time, but what she really wants to ask is if you knew...why hadn’t you told William?

“Remember when I asked you if you forgave easily?” You ask her weakly, and Natasha frowns.

Because if you’re asking that, is the answer going to be something that will make her angry?

“This is a little hard for me to say, I don’t really know how to tell you this,” you admit to her.

Your tone and expression makes Natasha want to tell you that it’s okay, you don’t have to tell her if it’s too hard because whatever you’re going to tell her, it’s obviously going to change everything.

But she can’t.

You look Natasha in the eye as you lick your lip and let out a disgruntled sigh.

“I’ve known about you...for a long time. I saw you coming.” You tell her, but it just makes Natasha more confused as she squints her eyes.

“You...saw me coming?” She tries to clarify to herself, really.

You nodded. 

“I can see the future.”

Natasha froze, letting the words settle over her as a daunting realization seeped into her eyes.

“I can’t control it,” you try to explain to her in a rush. “It just...comes. I had one after you left this morning. That’s how I knew where you were. If I didn’t come, you would’ve either been caught, or William would’ve known someone was onto him.”

Natasha looks like she was about to say something, her mouth opening slightly before closing. 

You feel your stomach dropping because it’s obvious Natasha feels betrayed. She doesn’t understand you. 

You seemed to be simultaneously covering for William while helping Natasha too.

What exactly were your intentions? Natasha wondered.

Natasha felt like she was being played a fool. With a shake of her head, she turned around to leave, and you’ve never felt so scared.

“No--wait, Natasha, please,” you beg her, but it’s just another sharp reminder when you call her by her real name. You grab her hand, desperate for her to not leave, and Natasha doesn’t pull away.

“Please,” you spoke in a rush. “Please--just--don’t go. You can ask me anything.”

“Can you let me leave?”

“I can’t do that,” you tell her and Natasha frowns. “Ask me something else.”

Natasha looks at the determination in your eyes along with hints of pleading that she purses her lips and resigns to staying.

She turns to you, backing you up until your back hits against the windowsill trapped between Natasha’s arms.

“Tell me the truth,” she tells you, and you nod slowly.

“Were you waiting for me?”

“...Yes.”

“Am I still full of mystery?”

You think back to when you first told her about the color black.

“Yes.”

“Do you think I’m reliable?”

The color blue pops up in your mind, and it’s easy for you to push out the truth.

“Yes.”

“Did you hope to enter past my boundaries?”

The question surprises you, but you answer her honestly.

“I...I don’t know.”

“Tell me something interesting.”

Your heart was thudding in your ears, but you did as she said.

“I hate being able to see the future, but being able to see you makes it a gift.”

“Even though you told me no, did you hope to see me again?”

“Yes,” you clench your jaw before you answered.

“Tell me something interesting about myself.”

You feel nearly dizzy from all the questions that you whisper out your answer.

“You’re a color in my head that can’t be explained.”

Natasha’s eyes soften as she leans more into you, her body lining up perfectly with yours and it told her what she’s already known.

“Do you love him?”

You shook your head.

“Tell me a secret,” Natasha asks, her head coming closer to yours. Her hands drag away from the window as it cups your neck and jaw on both sides.

Your eyes flutter closed, and it feels painful to reveal what you’re about to, but you do as you’re told while your hands come up to grab at Natasha’s arms.

“I’ve lost my heart to you.”

“Then you can’t blame me for this,” Natasha whispers against your lips before pressing her lips completely over yours, kissing you gently but firmly.

The feeling travels down, hitting you in the gut, and even tingling all the way down to your toes.

It’s overwhelming. The colors you see in your head.

When she pulls back, Natasha rests her forehead against yours, her fingers catching strands of your hair between them. 

Her eyes are momentarily closed as she revels in this moment. She opens her eyes, and yours flutter open as you gaze at each other. 

She’s resolved, and your heart uncontrollably swells as she whispers against your lips, “Now that it’s mine, I’m not going to give it back.”

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Natasha leaves before William will return, but not before you held her hand and kissed her knuckles softly.

“You should call them to come,” you say, moving her fingers, so the pads of her fingers brush gently against your lips.

“Them?” Natasha asks.

“The Avengers,” you clarify. 

“Am I no longer capable of taking William down on my own?”

She sounds mildly offended that you can’t help but grin slightly. “No, there’s a future where you can, but for efficiency purposes, you should call them.”

Natasha snorts softly, bringing you closer for another kiss.

She hates it.

Hates leaving you here with William.

She has so many questions but not enough time to ask.

“Fair enough, Tony should have something by now, and I think he likes beating up other billionaires.” Natasha can already see Tony preparing his jet before she can tell him everything.

She smiles faintly when she hears you giggle.

“How long do we have?” Natasha asks as she pulls a strand of your hair between her index finger and thumb. 

“The chips have already been shipped out. Tomorrow, people will start buying them. William still has to set up his software and system that will hold that data and then sell the information. The day after tomorrow will be your last chance.”

Natasha nods. In that case, she really does need to go. 

“Will I see you tomorrow?”

“Do you hope to?” You throw back at her, causing Natasha to grin.

“Very much so,” she tells you.

“Then yes,” you tease. “William will be gone tomorrow night, so you can come through the balcony.”

“You can’t leave?” 

“Evelyn is watching me.”

There it is again, more questions Natasha wants to ask, but she has to go.

She sighs and nods.

“Alright, tomorrow then,” she promises you, kissing you chastely once more.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The moment she gets home, she calls Tony immediately.

“Finally! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for hours, did you d--”

“Tell Steve to assemble everyone and get down here.”

It was silent on the line for a moment.

“How bad?”

“Just under mass genocide.”

Tony sighed. “Send me your report, I’ll send it to everyone else to read while we’re flying. I think I found the solution to your chip problem, though. Just some kinks to work out.”

“Great, see you in a few then.”

“You’re welco--”

Natasha hung up, smirking as she knew it Tony would be huffing by now. 

She went and sat in front of her laptop, stretching her fingers before cracking down.

There were still a lot of loose ends she needed to tie up. 

PART VI 

[masterswrd]

tagged by @horrorcupid for this hannibal tag game and i went bananas with it 

favourite episode and why: Su-Zakana! the horse episode! Very gross but I love Peter! Hannibal’s outfits are stunning! Will being an elegant bisexual. We get to meet Margot! “How would you do it?” “With my hands.” I ALSO! Think! That Will is more sad in this episode than he is in all previous episodes. He just got out of being institutionalized for a year, having lost his teaching job. He meets Peter and gets reminded that he’s been abused in the same way. As sexy as the “how would you do it” scene is, I really think Will has no clue what he wants to do with Hannibal. After a year of being separated by bars and chains, he’s finally so close enough to wrap his hands around his throat and once he gets there I don’t think he knows what he would do next, but his whole body would be on fire while he did it. (honorable mention for hannibal petting the sheep) oh and the hands! Will is desperately trying to tune out hannibal. he doesnt want to see him or listen to him because he’s right!! THEN! Hannibal stopping the hammer of Will’s gun and brushing their fingers to directly mirror hannibal and clarice in silence of the lamb! I will never get over Hannibal just holds Will at the nape of his neck and gets so close. when will finally looks at him he’s met with hannibal smiling and looking at him with pure adoration and it kills will so bad that his internalized homophobia jumped out in the next episode where he dreams about hannibal telling him he loves him and has to kill him in the dream because its the only scenario where hannibal would stop loving him and he knows that and it kills him. 

least favourite episode and why: probably Ouef because it feels like a crime procedural more than any of the other episodes and child death / abuse makes me very sad : ( also not gay enough

favourite main character: i hate all these people but probably Will because im a repressed psychotic bisexual who doesnt know whats going on ever. 

favourite side character: freddie all the way. she hates cops, loves drama, and hannibal loves her website and who am i to argue with the guy who has the most taste in the whole show? seems kinda cringe to hate her tbh

if you could bring back one character who died, who would it be: abigail! i think she shouldve been able to escape everyone and heal and cut her hair and live in the twin cities and find a girl that kisses her under the minnehaha falls ice cave! 

dish prepared in the show that you would like to try eating/making: the black chicken soup sounds really good. ive actually been wanting to order the ingredients since soups are my jam and i cook all the time and have enough faith in myself to get it right. 

which side character would you kill off: theres nobody alive that i wouldnt want to stay alive. but i wish we wouldve gotten the scene that they cut of cassie boyle blowing cigarette smoke in hannibal’s face that sounds so funny and on track with the people i know who go to the U of M duluth. 

was there any scene that you didn’t like to look at: when will and hannibal look at eachother im just like “turn this shit OFF”

biggest ship: how about FRIENDships, i say kicking the hannibal x will fics im writing under the rug. i think will and margot shouldve bonded more and i wish peter was a recurring character who was best friends with will and had pet play dates. will deserves people that care about him!!

why did you start watching hannibal: i originally started watching it cuz i used to be friends with a will graham kinnie but then i got bored and hopped off after the 3rd episode but this summer i sat down and watched it with my wife and we had no spoilers and went nuts the whole time it was great. 

favourite fic if you’ve read any: We Killed a Dragon Last Night by inameitlater along the two other fics in that series. it’s absolutely devastating and im a sucker for time travel / groundhog day kinda stuff and dark will!! it’s great you gotta read it if you havent. 

have you watched any of the hannibal films: yes! after watching manhunter i realized that bryan fuller really did all this cuz will was hot in that movie. there was also a very tender moment between will and dr bloom that i really liked. anthony hopkins is also very good at being a creepy little man and his tiktok account is so damn funny.

have you read the thomas harris books: i’ve read Red Dragon and i wish they but more nasty will in the show where he’s an asshole and cussing. i think its weird that none of the adaptations do a good job and showing will has a shitty marriage and has a temper and him and molly were drifting apart cuz her family hates him cuz he’s nuts and it makes him mad and sad that he cant have anything happy after hannibal. 

favourite murder tableau: probably the heart but when it unravels and starts to like stalk toward will. i think its a good metaphor of will being terrified of hannibal’s love for him

favourite blood spill: margot and alana killing mason. it made me very happy the whole time. 

what’re some of your headcanons: jimmy price has a bee keeping husband and thats why he had bee facts, will is trans and abigail is trans but they’re awkward and uncomfortable so they never feel comfortable to tell the other or how to bring it up cuz they dont want the other to think they’re more weird than they actually are, they both vent about this to hannibal who says “oh gee oh wow what a dilemma” and some shit about butterflies and doesnt help at ALL.  

this was fun!!!! im gonna tag @bisexywill cuz i think all my other hannibal mutuals were already tagged. 

[pinkykitten]

never give UP

Stranger Things

Billy Hargrove x female! reader

Warning: car accident, hospital, drinking and driving (do not do pls), speeding (also do not do), mentions of abuse, mentions of suicide, alcohol

Specifics: angst, romance, race neutral reader, one-shot

People: billy hargrove, max mayfield, neil hargrove, your dad, your mom, your doctor 

Words: 1,747

Request: By @intheendyouwillalwayskneel Hi, could I please get a Billy x romantic reader where Billy is speeding and they get into a wreck and she is permanently injured. Maybe she lurches forward and hits her head on the the breaking windshield. Then develops a brain hemorrhage and falls into a coma. Billy is horrified and heartbroken because it's all his fault.

Authors Note: wow this one i think i went a little overboard with the drama and story srry im a bit of a drama queen so ta-ta. this has a lot of things in it so if u cant read it or dont want to read it no shame and no hate, u do u. i do hope for those to read it to like it cuz i wanted to think outside the box. srry this took me quite a while to make another story ive just been rlly busy lately atm. 

Crazy little thing called love played loudly on the speakers in Billy’s car. The windows were opened as the wind howled against your ears. The car’s engine roared as it sped down the darkly lit street. It was late at night and some folks would say that it was too dangerous for a drive but you and Billy were daredevils. You were opened to a rebellious chapter in your life after you met Billy. He was willing to take risks, he was the bad boy you would read every night in your romance books. 

Your hand danced in the air outside of the window, creating a wave against the waving trees. You sang to the music as Billy laughed. He laughed like a mad man, feeling the adrenaline rush through his body. You and him howled like a bunch of crazy teenagers you were. You were young and you wanted to live your life. 

“So how is this y/n? Is this wild enough for ya?” Billy shouted over the blaring music. 

You took a swig of some alcohol located under the seat. It burned your throat as the liquid made its way down. You gave a look of disgust. Billy chuckled and took a drink himself, “too strong for you?”

You shook your head as you felt light. Alcohol still new to you so that small sip made you feel tipsy. You scooted closer to Billy and wrapped your hands around his face, bringing him closer to you. You kissed his lips and his cheek. Your lips made their way to his earlobe, biting lightly on the skin and then whispering into his ear, “Crazy turns me on.”

Billy raised his brow as he smirked, “is that so!” As quick as light his foot stepped on the gas pedal making the car seem to fly through the air. The miles were going higher and higher. At first you were having fun, enjoying the excitement but now it was getting too dangerous. Your smile disappeared and instead a frown was found on your face. You were actually scared.

“Billy okay thats enough. Slow down.”

He would not. Instead he sped more. 

“Billy, I said stop it!” You were shaking. The car was going so fast that any minute it felt as if it would turn over and tumble around. Billy cackled loudly. His old, selfish attitude resurfacing. Out from the turn came a truck. Billy was speeding to such a degree that the car was zig-zagging. The car and the truck were about to make contact. Billy was like a deer in headlights. His laughing stopped and now all he did was freeze. He didn’t know what to do. He quickly lifted his hand to go across your body while your hands laid against the steering wheel. The wheel turned and the car spun out of control. It missed the truck but rolled down a grassy hill. The spin was so rough that you lunged forward, hitting your head against the windshield. 

Billy quickly made sure you were alright but was met with a distraught view. Your head laid back against the seat. Your forehead was bloody and blood dripped out of your nose. You laid unconscious. Billy was so scared for you. He shook you, wanting you to wake up, “Y/n! Y/n! Please y/n please wake up. Please, I’m sorry.” Tears started to pour out of his eyes. He wanted you to be safe, to be happy. 

He felt so guilty. Seeing you in the hospital bed, machines and things poking into you. It was all his fault. He would visit you everyday, no matter what. You weren’t respondent though, you were in a coma. Every day he hoped and prayed that you would wake up from it. It didn’t matter if you didn’t want to see him anymore or hated him he just needed you awake and alive. Your parents were furious. He would dodge seeing them every time. They wanted to kill him and probably stop him from seeing you but he couldn’t let that happen. 

He needed to see you. 

Billy entered into your room, flowers in hand. He set the flowers in a vase and put them beside you on the table. The doctor told him that even though you couldn’t move or be aware of anything you still could hear. Billy would always speak to you. He would tell you about his day, about your gifts, about your family. Even though he was going through a rough time at his home, you mattered more to him. 

“Hey babe, its me Billy. I got you your favorite flowers today,” he softly massaged your hands. Hating seeing them motionless. Billy had cried so much during this time with you. He hated himself more now if that was even possible. He felt he was a failure to everyone, to you, to Max, to his mother. He felt he was just a waste. Tears started to drip from his eyes onto his cheek, “you know Max made a card for you.” He chuckles seeing the odd stickers on it and the drawings. He placed it next to your flowers. “She hopes you feel better and she misses you. I miss you too. Your parents miss you.” Silence. He despised the silence. He just wished you would jump out from that bed and live. “Baby, you gotta wake up. It doesn’t have to be for me, its has to be for your parents and for yourself. I’m so sorry for putting you through this. Its all my fault. I should be the one there not you, me!’

A knock filled in the silence. Quickly, Billy wiped his tears and saw that it was the doctor who came in. “Is everything alright here?”

Billy nodded. “Is everything okay doctor?”

“Well...y/n is going to have some complications if she wakes up from this coma. She developed a brain hemorrhage and we’re looking at maybe some sort of paralysis. We’re suspecting half of her body but it may be more, we’re not 100 percent sure.”

Billy was shocked and he couldn’t stop himself from crying.

“You monster!” Your father came in along with your mother. Your father ran up to Billy and clutched onto his denim jacket, tears also coming down his face. “How could you do this to my daughter?” The doctor was trying to stop the fight but your father was so irate. Your mother was sobbing in the background and Billy wished in that moment he was dead. Your father shook Billy and screamed at him. “You did this to her. Take a good look at her!” Billy turned to the side and saw you. You laid there calm. Tubes connected to you. “I never want to see you again. Not here, not now, not ever. If she wakes up from this she is banned from seeing or even talking about you. You will stop seeing her here and I swear to God if you think about walking in here again I will make sure you go through the same sufferings as my daughter!” Your dad shoved Billy out of the room and Billy ran out of the hospital. Sobbing silently, alone, quietly outside. Wishing the nightmares would just end. 

Billy had tried to see you in the hospital but your father was always there and the doctors knew he wasn’t allowed there anymore. Billy made a turn for the worst. He just couldn’t live without you. He started to go to alcohol for comfort, missing school and his temper rising even more, taking it out on Max. He was a mess. It was either feeling guilty over what happened with you or getting abused. There was no happiness for Billy. 

Billy had woken up with a hangover. Throwing up in the toilet. He was done with this life. Then the doorbell rang. Billy thought it was another one of Max’s loser friends so he called out to her. There was no answer. “Max! I said get the God da*n door!” There was still no answer. Billy walked over the door, cursing to himself as the room started to spin. As he opened the door he was greeted with your face. You stood there, smiling, a cane in your hand as you leaned on if for support. Billy opened his mouth wide in shock, thinking he was dreaming as he sometimes had dreams or feelings that he saw his mother sometimes. 

“Is that really you y/n?”

You nodded and jumped onto him for a hug. You gently caressed his curls. “Its me Billy. Its really me.”

“Wait,” he backed away from you. “No this isn’t right. You hate me! You’re supposed to hate me! I hurt you. I did this all to you. I’m, I’m a monster!” He started to cry as his lips trembled. 

You shook your head, “no, no Billy. Its okay,” you cradled him in your arms. “I’m fine now. I feel better.” You looked into his eyes. “Look at me, you are not a monster. I don’t hate you Billy, I could never. I forgive you for what happened but there was nothing to forgive in the first place. I love you Billy. With every fiber in my body I love you. I could never be apart from you. I know about all the things you did in the hospital. All the things you said, the gifts, Billy that wasn’t hate that was love. You did all that because you love me. What we both did was wrong that day. We should of never drank and speed, but its in the past know, we learn from our mistakes. I’m not like your parents or anybody else in your life that leaves you. I’m staying put right beside you forever. You can never get rid of me.”

Billy felt speechless in that moment. How did he get so lucky to be with you? What did he do to deserve such an angel as yourself? Billy embraced you again, “I love you so much y/n. I love you so much.” He kept repeating. You placed your hands on his jaw and kissed his lips lovingly. Billy was so grateful to have you in his life. Even though his life with his dad was not easy he had you to lean on. He had you to make him smile and laugh. He had you to keep him going and to remind him to never give up. 

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @dirbel, @eastcoasthaven, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @idontknowwhattocallthisworld (wont let me tag)

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

[florbexter]

Thanks again to everyone who commented on the previous chapters. This was planned to be the final chapter but TinCan had other ideas lol, I don’t think you would mind. 

Sadly there are some blog’s who are untagable so sorry if you can’t find yourself in the list. 

As always: Have fun reading! ^.^

@queenhippolyta @andwebegin @decadentdeerpolice  @compassedship69 @jessicaworld90 @misaky0 @fangschreckenkreb @audoldends @kimjungmalfoy

Part I | Part II | Part III

💃🏻 - Fake dating TinCan -  Part IV 

“What are you doing here?”

“Searching for my lost boyfriend. I thought we’re in love, I’m very disappointed.”

Can felt the heat rising from his neck over his cheeks to his hairline and if possible he was sure he would have been on fire.

Tin leaned over him, his mouth too close to his ear and he felt Tin’s legs against his back. It was strangely intimate.

Can felt a huge lump in his throat and his voice sounded scratchy when he asked: “Could you please move?” There was a short pause and Can feared that Tin would press the issue but the heat of his body moved away and he was able to breathe again.

Tin sat down across of him and damn, in the broad daylight, without the dim light of a party or the hazy illumination of a street lamp he looked twice as good. He also wore a damn tie and his button-down was whiter than Can’s had ever been and why were people out there looking like that?

“You’re hard to track down.” “Because I don’t want to be found.”

“I thought…”

“Yeah, we’re boyfriends haha. The joke’s getting old.”

Tin looked away from his face a half-smile lurking in the corner of his mouth and he seemed like he fought a real smile. Can had never understood people who made an effort to hide their feelings. Smiling made him happy, why would somebody suppress that?

He scratched his cheek and felt the warmth of his embarrassment. He wanted nothing more than to run away or hide.

“Why won’t you agree that I’ll tell everybody we broke up? See, we don’t have to do the ‘you’re an asshole’ scenario, we could tell that we realized we only work as a long-distance relationship.”

He just wanted to pretend this all never happened. He wanted to avoid Tin for a thousand years and then act as if he never met him before. Was that too much to ask for?

Tin looked at him again, his face blank but his eyes calculating. Rich people had it all! Why did they want something all the time?

“I want something.”

Can had the urge to cover his body with his hands.

“What do you mean?” His voice sounded squeaky. Tin shook his head in amusement.

“I just want information. I want us to pretend to be boyfriends for two more weeks.”

Can frowned. “Because of Ai Pete and Ae?” “I could hang around Ai Pete just because but I guess it would be easier with you as an excuse. Ai Pete never really liked sports but now he wants to be at the football field all the time.”

Can stayed silent. Everyone at the team agreed that they would not talk about what they all had eventually stumbled upon when they wanted to go into locker room seven. They all suspected that Ai training and Ai Pete watching was kind of foreplay for them.

“Are you against their relationship or what?”

“I want to make sure Ae is good enough for Ai Pete.”

“And stalking seems the right method to you?”

“I could hire someone for a complete background check on him and his family, dig out all their secrets but I thought to check him out myself would be less… invasive.”

Can just gaped at him for a solid minute.

“You really are an asshole!” Tin just shrugged.

“What do you have to lose? I don’t want to break them up… not yet though. You have a boyfriend for two more weeks to impress your friends with and I have a better excuse to hang around Ae.”

“What if I don’t agree?”

“Then everything will crash and burn. You can certainly tell everyone that you just made our relationship up and that will be weird enough because it’s one thing to just cook up a fake-boyfriend but it’s another story altogether when it’s about someone who exists, and you know… I could tell a totally different version. I haven’t decided yet if I’ll tell you are obsessed with me or a homophobic asshole who is ashamed of our relationship and so you told everyone it was fake.”

Can jumped up and pointed a trembling finger at Tin.

“You’re… that… fucking… are you… you are evil!”

“Who would they believe? It doesn’t really matter what I will tell just that they all will believe me.”

Can wasn’t sure if his heart would ever recover from Tin’s speech. Tin didn’t want to be the villain of their fake-relationship but he actually was a villain.

The sad truth was that apart from Can’s close circle everybody would believe Tin because his versions of the story sounded more scandalous than Can’s.

“You really want to be punched…” Tin laid his hand in one of his hands as if they had a pleasant conversation about the weather.

“It’s your decision.” 

“It’s blackmail!”

“Call it what you want.”

“Isn’t there an alternative?”

Tin leaned forward and Can instinctively took a step back. There was this odd twinkle in Tin’s eyes again. Can was reminded of a documentary about a tiger he once saw. Which would make him the deer and it never ended well for the deer.

“You made up a boyfriend, so I think I’m right when I assume that you never had a relationship. A conclusion from that would be that you also never kissed.”

Can felt his heart leaving his body. It literally fell down to his feet. Breathing seemed like something only others were able to do.

“You… what?”

“Your first kiss and I will break up with you and we forget about the two weeks to shadow Ae.”

Can took his backpack he had put down next to the bench and left. Just run away with a white haze clouding his vision. His body moved on his own while his mind was a mixture of blank spaces and explosions of disbelief of what had happened a few moments ago.

He had no idea how but he found his way to his bus stop and sat down on one of the seats. The world moved in slow-motion around him and his head felt like it was wrapped in cotton. Had this really happened?

His cellphone vibrated and at first, he couldn’t process what the text message said.

“Tomorrow 8 am IC parking lot. For your decision on both proposals.”

He put the phone back in his pocket, took his bag and buried his face in it. Then… he screamed.

Two girls jumped off in shock and exchanged worried glances because his scream changed into a loud wailing. Then, and they decided to move a few more metres away, he shook his whole body while a string of muffled ‘No’s’ were heard. The girls decided that they should take the next bus.

++

Can shuffled into the house, waved half-heartedly at Gucci and let his backpack fall. He didn’t care where it landed.

He looked at the couch and longed to lay there and bath in his misery, but he needed to do something else first.

The stairs were mountains, almost too high and difficult to climb but he was able to conquer them. He opened the door to Ai Ley’s room and ignored her ‘Hey!’ He let himself fall face-down onto her bed.

“Are you crazy? What are you doing here?”

He lifted one finger.

“Can I ask for one thing?”

She sat on her desk chair in front of her computer and nudged him with her toe. It was a ‘just-because’ nudge.

“What is it?”

“Can you pretend like you aren’t my annoying little sister and give me helpful advice?”

“Can you get me pictures of P’Pete and P’Ae?”

He sighed in the pillow and rolled onto his back. Everyone disappointed him today: Ai Pete and his schemings, Tin with his blackmail and Ai Ley with her thirst for the relationship of his friends. He climbed from the bed and went into his own room. He buried himself under his blanket and breathed in the calming smell of home and detergent. Why was it always true was his elders said? That you shouldn’t lie because you wouldn’t be able to stop, and one lie led to another and then suddenly there is a guy who wants your first kiss.

His life was a drama show now. So he knew that it would get worse before it would get better.

He fumbled for his cellphone and his display showed him the message from Tin. Unopened. If he was honest with himself he admitted that he didn’t want to be more humiliated. He didn’t want his friends to know that he lied about his relationship status. For all their roasting Good and Ae would never expose him and Ai Pete was too nice to embarrass him like that. So his choices were two weeks of fake-dating or his first kiss.

Why did Tin want his first kiss?

In a weird way, it seemed fair. Can took his consent from him. Who wouldn’t feel exploited when someone took your pictures and would fabricate a relationship?

But why didn’t it count that he did it out of insecurity? That he didn’t want someone to get hurt. He didn’t have any bad intentions!

“Doesn’t matter anymore,” he mumbled. “What’s done is done.”

But it was so unfair!!!!

He trashed around and muted his shout with his pillow.

“Stop that you lunatic,” Ley yelled and kicked against the wall.

“I’m having a crisis!”, he yelled back.

“I’m ending your crisis with my fist!”

“I hate everything,” Can told his pillow and boxed it for good measure. It was going to be a long and sleepless night.

[hoyoungy]

Struck - Suga/Yoongi (V)

genre: fluff, angst, soulmate au summary: he was your soulmate for a reason word count: 2270 a/n: i feel like im writing for a drama LOL. i hope you’re all enjoying this so far! female pronouns, explicit language, and alcohol mentioned. as seen on my ao3

part iv, vi

“How come we’re going this way?” she asked him. “Isn’t this the long way to your house?”

Yoongi ignored the questions of the girl he had in his arms as they both trudged through the cold, dark streets. She was his go-to call for a good time at the club, and this was one of those nights where he needed her the most. She asked him to leave to go back to his place early, and he happily obliged, but when his wrist began to glow the second they stepped out, his first instinct was to find you.

Maybe he’d get a reaction out of you.

Maybe you’d punch her in the face, too.

In fact, he hoped you would. He hoped you’d show some sort of emotion towards him.

Something to show him that you wanted him.

That you wanted him as your soulmate.

“Yoongi ~” she whined. “I’m cold!”

“We’re almost there,” he muttered. He could feel the alcohol start to burn off and now he was just annoyed.

“My life is over!” Yoongi heard.

Across the street, he saw your small figure wobbling in front of someone he didn’t recognize. A guy. What could you be doing at this time of night with someone like him?

“No, it’s not,” the guy said.

Yoongi turned to walk across the street so that you’d notice him and so that he could take a closer look at who you were with. Was he a stranger? Another creep you met at a different club? Were you taking him home, too?

“Yes, it is! I’m gonna have to bother with this for the rest of my life! Gah, see!? He’s also nearby! I’ll never get any alone time anymore - whoa!”

Yoongi froze in his place, only meters away from you and the stranger, when he saw him wrap his arms around you and hold you tight before you fell. You looked up at him with such adoration that it even made Yoongi blush. His face hardened.

Was he in a dream? Were there cameras around you guys somewhere, because this really felt like you all were in a drama, or something. Everything felt like it was going in slow motion.

“Jackson…”

The way you laced his name with drunken ecstacy made Yoongi sick to his stomach. He knows all too well what it feels like when girls say his name like that. Why did you have to say it that way?

“Why couldn’t you have been my soulmate, huh? Life would have been so much easier.”

At that moment, Yoongi felt like he could die.

“_____.”

“You would’ve been the only exception.”

The only exception to what? Why was this guy so fucking special to you?

“Hey, _____-”

“What!? Let me be sentimental to my best friend!”

Best friend…

“Is that him?” Jackson asked, eyeing Yoongi’s wrist.

“Hm?”

When you looked up at him, Yoongi saw the light drain from your eyes. He watched your eyes inspect the girl next to him and back at his face. There were probably lipstick stains somewhere by the way you focused on a few areas.

The girl clung to Yoongi closer, finally noticing you in front of her. She made sure you were watching. Yoongi made sure you kept watching as he pulled her in even closer.

He waited for you to react. He waited for you to see the same shade of red that he’s seeing. It took all of Yoongi’s might to not stomp up to you and tear you away from Jackson.

But you didn’t look angry. Or sad. Or even disappointed. No, it was much worse.

You looked like you lost. Failed. Like nothing mattered to you anymore.

Say something. Tell me to get my arm off of her. Tell her that I’m yours.

“I wanna go home,” was all that you said before you walked passed him.

The other guy didn’t even give him a second glance before he ran up to you. Yoongi almost wished he could be someone like that - someone who would run to you without a second thought. Someone who would take you home and lie with you because you were too drunk to be alone.

But tonight, you wouldn’t be alone, you’d be with Jackson doing those things. And Yoongi would be with her doing the same.

“Let’s go,” she told Yoongi.

The second they got back to his place, she passed out on his bed. For once, he had never felt more grateful.

He couldn’t sleep that night.

You’ve successfully avoided Yoongi for over a week now, even while you were at work. There were times when you were out and your compass would glow, but you immediately went the other direction and it stopped.

Probably because he didn’t want to see you, either.

The entire week, your compass would flash at around 2pm, indicating that Yoongi had just woken up. Jesus, didn’t he have, like, a life to fullfil? What did he even do for a living?

You tried pushing him to the back of your mind, but he always found his way to the front, so you’d think about him nonstop. Most of your time thinking about him was trying to erase the way he held the girl close in the cold. He held her the way a lover would.

Like a soulmate would.

Although you suppose Jackson did the same… But that was different! He was your best friend, not some random boy you picked up at the club!

They looked good together. Why couldn’t they have been soul-bonded, instead?

But of course, the cruel Gods thought you two were perfect for each other.

And you know what, you probably were. Think about it, you two were almost exactly the same - stubborn, insufferable, and prideful, just to name a few. Even Jackson thought so.

He had others things to say about the two of you.

“You’re not exactly making it easy for him, _____,” he said over the phone the morning after. “It’s a two-way street.”

“Ok, but I don’t fuck randos after I realized I hated my soulmate!”

“Who said they slept together? Or that he hates you? For all he knows, he might think you're the one that hates him!”

“Oh, come on, did you see his hair!? The lipstick!? And hello, do you know who I am!? I’m very easy to hate!”

“If I heard you say you wanted someone else as a soulmate, I’d go fuck a rando, too.”

“Ugh, I don’t even remember saying that! And whose side are you on!?”

“You know I’ll always be Team _____, but as usual, you never make it easy,” you heard him sigh on the other end. “_____, it’s time to stop pushing people away. For God’s sake, you’re 24! Now, more than ever, is when you need to start letting people in - starting with your own damn soulmate!”

The conversation left a huge, burnt hole in your ego. The truth always stung, and Jackson never sugar-coated his words and for that, you were thankful, but you hated it when he was right and you were wrong. You were never wrong! Ever!

On this young Saturday evening, your mind boggled with thoughts of Yoongi only. Again. You wondered what he was doing right now. Knowing him, you probably figured he was out drinking agian. You wondered if he ever stayed in.

You wondered if he thought about you, too.

Was his mind clouded by you? Was he a space-case because of you, too?

Maybe you should try to find him.

… You probably should try to find him.

You groaned loudly and dramatically as you searched for your jacket. On your way out, you cursed Jackson for being right.

“C’mon, are we going out, or what!?” Yoongi called. The other six boys groaned in unison as they slumped in the living room. Yoongi was the only one dressed to go out.

“Hyung…” Jimin whined. “This is the third night in a row…”

“So?”

“So can we take a break?”

“It’s Saturday!”

The others gave each other wary looks. This was too much.

“Hyung,” Jungkook hesitated. “Is this because of _____?”

“Why does she matter?” Yoongi spat. Even the boys cringed at his harsh tone.

“She’s your soulmate.”

“Yeah, who went home with someone else.”

“So did you!”

“Didn’t you say they were best friends, or something?” Taehyung asked.

“Probably with benefits,” Yoongi muttered.

“Yah, Hyung -”

“If you guys aren’t coming, then I’m heading out.”

“Hyung!”

Yoongi slammed the door shut on his way out. He was used to being alone, so what made tonight any different? If anything, he could call her again, but…

It just didn’t feel the same anymore.

Nothing felt the same anymore since he met you.

He hated it.

He hated change.

And you didn’t even want him to begin with.

Yoongi went to the club and did a bee line to the bar. He was tired of seeing the same faces every time he came here, and tonight he just wanted to drink. Not party, not dance, not hook up - just drink. Drink until he forgot.

The bartender already knew what Yoongi liked to drink. They were already lined up for him before he sat down. He downed them until he could no longer feel the burn in his throat. It didn’t take many drinks to get Yoongi drunk. Most call it weak, but he sees it as cheap.

In the dark club, he saw his wrist glow.

At this point, he didn’t even bother trying to run away. He was way too drunk. As if you’d want to find him, anyways.

Yoongi ignored the presence of someone next to him. He ignored the pull of his wrist towards them. He ignored the combined blinding glow you both shared.

“One, please,” he heard you say to the bartender.

When the bartender placed the drink in front of you. Yoongi snatched it out of your way, gulping it down before you could protest.

You didn’t acknowledge him yet. “One more, please,” you said.

He took that one, too.

“Hey!”

“What are you doing here?” he slurred. “Go home.”

“I came to see you,” you yelled over the music.

“Well, I don’t wanna see you,” he said, getting up and walking away.

If he wasn’t so drunk, you’d be more heartbroken than angry. But no, you were just angry. If this was any other boy, you’d let him be and walk back home right away. But you set your fat pride aside and followed him. He was your soulmate, after all.

You were surprised to find out that Yoongi didn’t stay in the club, grinding on some poor soul - he left. You followed him into the coldest time of the night. In front of you, you saw him sway from side to side, hanging on to things like benches and lightposts on the way. Is this what you looked like last week? A drunk mess?

Yoongi wasn’t wearing a coat when you found him. His shirt was thin and you could see his hands begin to turn blue, so you caught up to him and wrapped your coat around him.

“Leave me alone,” he said, shrugging off your coat.

“You’ll get sick.”

“Why do you care?”

“Because you’re my soulmate.”

“Isn’t Jackson your soulmate?” he asked, turning to face you. “Isn’t he who you wanna be with? Wouldn’t that make your life easier? Go run to your fuck buddy.”

You couldn’t tell if you were smiling because you found him amusing or because you wanted to punch him in the face.

“Aren’t you being a bit hypocritical?” When Yoongi didn’t say anything, you sighed. He really was stubborn like you. “He has a soulmate already. For like, six years now. All he did that night was make sure I got home ok.”

Yoongi felt guilt take over his entire body. But he didn’t show any remorse - he only shook his head and turned away. “…Whatever.”

“Yoongi, please!” you cried out, tears of frustration pooling in your eyes. “Just listen to me!”

He stopped, but didn’t bother turning to you. He leaned against a light post for support.

“Look, I’m scared, ok? You remember when you asked me if I was scared I might fall in love with you? Well, I am! Nothing in my life has ever been this… constant. Everything I knew and believed and loved about soul-binding was ruined when I was like, 19, so I’m sorry if I’m so difficult!”

Yoongi kept on listening.

“This is my way of opening up to you. This is my way of trying. I want to try whatever this is,” you sighed. “You’re my soulmate.”

For the first time, Yoongi believed you when you called him your soulmate. He turned to you slowly. Your eyes were glossy and your nose pink from the tears. He chuckled, thinking that you looked so cute.

“Why are you laughing?” you sniffled, but couldn’t help but smile, too.

Yoongi said nothing as he walked up to you.

He cupped your face in his hands,

and he kissed you. Ever so gently.

It was like a scene from a movie - soft snowflakes began to fall, the night sky was pink, and right now, only you two existed in the world. The kiss wasn’t passionate - it was soft and sweet. It made you feel new. When he broke the kiss, he pulled away slowly, lips lingering and leaving you wanting more.

Much more.

“What about her?” you whispered.

“We didn’t do anything,” he confirmed. “She passed out when we got back to my place. Even if she didn’t… I couldn’t. I couldn’t even sleep that night.”

“Really?”

“Really. Besides,” he said, tilting your chin up. “You’re mine now.”

[micvhisms]

▼✿

                                           send me a symbol for…

✿  five times my muse almost texted yours, and the one time they did.

i. please don’t tell my brother. honestly, as much as micah liked cristian’s sisters, this wasn’t his place. their drama had nothing to do with him. he already didn’t know why she’d called him in the first place. yeah, they kept in contact after he left for college, but it wasn’t like they were best friends. it wasn’t even a best friend’s hot little sister kind of thing, because a) micah had known her far too long to even be remotely interested, b) he’d had to drive to the market at three am to get tampons with her before, and there really was no coming back from that, and c) cristian would probably actually hit him if micah showed that much interest. ( with good reason. he was already protective, and she deserved someone who could be emotionally available and could treat her right. micah couldn’t even say the word emotion without getting weird. ) 

it just further showed that he had no right getting in the middle of this. he drafted a text to his best friend. call claudia, she’s having a bad day. it would be out of his hands, and into those of someone much more equipped to handle this. but she’d asked him not to; she’d begged him to keep this between the two of them. lina freaked out, and you know he would, too, micah, please. and… she had a point. ugh. he deleted the text to cristian and called her back.   ❛  i’m not going to say anything. no, you’re going to tell him. and if he drives out there to kick what’s-his-name’s ass, it’s ‘cause he deserved it.   ❜    

ii. micah liked to think he had the immune system of a god. an unimportant one, maybe, but a god, nonetheless. he didn’t, of course. despite having only gotten sick twice as far as he could remember, one of those times, he caught pneumonia. so if his body had been fucked up before, it certainly was now. he blamed the pneumonia for this, too. he’d been fighting this off for a week, but it’d finally snuck up on him: the fucking flu. he’d quarantined himself to his room until it passed, not wanting to get naomi, the kids, or anyone else sick. the problem with that was that now he was hungry and too tired to move. he knew he had to take advantage of the hunger while it was there, because it was only a matter of time before he didn’t feel it at all, and he needed to eat. he grabbed his phone, squinting at the screen as he started to text whoever he’d last spoken to and ask them to bring something. mid way, he stopped, locking the phone and tossing it onto the bed. maybe it was the pride, but he suddenly wasn’t hungry anymore.

iii. leaning against the front desk, micah listened to the girl ramble on. admittedly, it was a lot funnier than it was annoying. why she felt the need to lie, he didn’t know. micah wasn’t stupid. she’d come here looking for cristian, probably because he hadn’t called her back or something. she really could’ve said that, and saved them both three minutes. but once she’d started talking, she wouldn’t stop. it was, probably, the most detailed and unbelievable lie micah had ever heard. and he wouldn’t have a problem with it, if it weren’t for the fact that they were at hq, and how did she even find this place? when she finally took a breath, he held up a hand to stop her from saying anything else. he grabbed his phone, typing out a text to cristian, before holding the phone out to her.  ❛  if i send this, will you please find someone else to stalk? i really don’t think cris is going to be as nice as i am about it.   ❜    she read the message, and her face heated up. two seconds later, she was out of sight. smug, micah deleted the text, tucking the phone back in his pocket and grinning at gina before he made his way back upstairs.

iv. where the fuck are you?? his phone was heavy in his hand, the text unsent. he didn’t want to panic, didn’t want to assume the worst. okay. okay. just because cristian wasn’t here didn’t mean he was hurt or anything. he was fine. he was fine. honestly, what were the chances of TWO BODIES showing up tonight? no. no. but micah couldn’t get the thought out of his mind. fuck, fuck, they weren’t doing this again. his finger hovered over the send button, and he looked up just as cristian made an appearance. locking his phone, he put it away, and pretended like he wasn’t an asshole for being slightly relieved it was just gina, and not both of them.

v. he should tell someone. he should tell someone. he needed to. and it made the most sense to tell cristian, right? micah told him everything. almost everything, anyway. it was why they were still friends. they were honest, even when it hurt. it’d be easier to explain this to cristian than anyone else, anyway. god, he wouldn’t even know where to start with anyone else. he could tell him. he had to tell him. because if things changed, cristian would know, and he’d wonder why, right? he’d been beating around the bush for so long, maybe it was time to━━

jesus christ, i’m sick and tired of this, micahwe’re not kids anymore. get your sulking head out of your ass and be real with me for a second

the texts came in rapid succession, sapping the warmth from micah’s body. it was fine. it was fine. ….dammit. he left cristian on read, and put his phone back in his pocket. their friendship was something he could work on repairing later. right now, he just… couldn’t.

+ i. it was late, and almost time for micah to retreat back to his roommate for the next few hours. let today fade into a distant memory, and prepare for tomorrow’s troubles. he ran a hand through his hair, putting the last of the dishes in the sink. his phone vibrated on the counter, another text coming through that he wasn’t prepared to answer. he watched as more texts poured in, his confusion mounting as he read them. make what go away? he grabbed the phone, and hesitated. he hadn’t spoken much to cristian lately, and it was for good reason. but cristian honestly seemed scared of whatever he was talking about. micah couldn’t leave him like that. against his better judgement, he texted back.

i have no idea what’s going on.but i’ll help you figure it out.shit, just give me a second. i’ll call you.

▼  five times my muse has caught yours getting off, and the one time they help out.

i.     ❛  cristian? dude, what are you doing, your mother has been━━ jesus christ.   ❜    he looked away, quickly shutting the door to cristian’s room. he rubbed his temples, immediately needing a nap. he loved cristian, and wasn’t blind to his attractiveness. even so, seeing him like that wasn’t something micah had been prepared for when he came over this morning.       ❛  your mother is calling you, man. and if she catches you with your hand down your pants, i’m not helping you.   ❜    and from now on, micah would knock.

ii. this was, possibly, the worst christmas present micah had ever gotten.     ❛  is this a sex tape?   ❜    he shrieked into the phone, over the sound of cristian’s laughs.     ❛  i asked for a MIXTAPE, you ass! you’re not my type. don’t laugh, i’m serious! and i have three classes with her! how do you expect to face her after this? …cristian? cristian, you dick, i know you can still hear me !!  ❜  

iii. micah hoped they weren’t making a habit of this. he was no longer shocked at the sight of cristian and all of his pride, but he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it. right now, he was just tired. cristian seemed to be having fun, anyway. shocking.    ❛  when you’re done, we still have a meeting to suffer through. and you don’t get to sit in here and treat yourself while i listen to eli and isaiah debate whether or not their random field trip of the week was haunted or not. so unless you’re thinking of fucking ghosts, which i’m assuming you’re not, hurry up.  ❜  

iv. this time, he knocked before entering. of course, it didn’t do shit. he was starting to think cristian was doing it on purpose, but he also wouldn’t bet on it.   ❛  you’re insatiable, you know that? i don’t know why i keep coming over here.  ❜   whatever he’d come over here for, it wouldn’t get resolved today. he didn’t know how long cristian would be at it, and he wasn’t planning on waiting around to find out.

v. the girl scampered past micah with an embarrassed squeal, but he didn’t give her a second glance. he leveled a glare at cristian.   ❛  if your one night stands start showing up here, i’m not going to scare them away. and you’re going to be the one explaining to everyone why so many people suddenly know where we work.  ❜  

+ i. someone was pressed up against him. a few someones, he thought. it’d be better, a lot hotter, if he wanted them there. expect he didn’t. both of them smelled like they’d taken a bath in whiskey, and he didn’t exactly want to go home smelling like that. he ignored them both, swallowing down his irritation as he looked for an exit. god, he hated frat parties. he broke away after a moment, no longer in the mood to be nice. a hand wrapped around his wrist, and she said something… something drowned out by the music and the blood rushing in his ears. he ended up dragging her along, not caring about where he was going. he just needed to… shit, he needed to get out.

the first door he opened turned out to be a bathroom. he was honestly more surprised to find cristian here at all, than he was to find cristian in such a compromising position. the girl who’d followed him let out a rather pathetic noise, and micah suddenly missed kimberly. she was far less annoying. his eyes met cristian’s, and it took him a second to tear them away.    ❛  i━━ you know what?  ❜   he nudged the girl ahead of him, towards cristian. she didn’t look all that upset by it. later, he might’ve felt like a dick for it, because that wasn’t the nicest thing to do. but, at the moment, he was just glad she’d found someone else to latch onto.    ❛  you deal with her. i… whatever, i’m going home.  ❜   and if cristian or the girl had anything to say, the only response they got was the sound of the bathroom door slamming on micah’s way out.

[mastcomm]

‘To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before’ … and to Fans Hungry for More

When “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” debuted on Netflix in 2018, it seemed like just the latest title in its “Summer of Love” promotion. There was “Set It Up,” “Sierra Burgess Is a Loser” and “The Kissing Booth.” But “To All the Boys” quickly proved to be a phenomenon.

The main character, a Korean-American high schooler named Lara Jean (played by Lana Condor), won over audiences who saw themselves mirrored in her life and mixed heritage. There was a surge of thirst for the internet’s newest crush, Noah Centineo (playing Lara Jean’s love interest, Peter Kavinsky). Sales for Yakult, a Japanese yogurt drink, increased after being featured in several scenes, and by Halloween, Twitter was overloaded with images of costumes inspired by Lara Jean.

“To All the Boys” became one of Netflix’s “most viewed original films ever,” with many fans watching it repeatedly, according to Variety. If the streaming service, which selectively releases audience numbers, is to be believed, more than 80 million subscribers caught the rom-com. The company also cited Instagram data to show the film’s impact: Condor’s follower count jumped from about 100,000 to 5.5 million, while Centineo’s increased from 800,000 to 13.4 million.

“To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” clearly seemed to tap into an unmet demand. Now, the team behind the first film is hoping its sequel, “P.S. I Still Love You,” will too when it premieres on Feb. 12.

Based on Jenny Han’s best-selling 2014 novel of the same name, the first movie followed Lara Jean as she is forced to confront her emotions when private love letters she penned are sent to her past crushes — and to her current one, her sister’s ex-boyfriend Josh (Israel Broussard). While navigating the mayhem that ensues and trying to make Josh jealous, she ends up in a fake relationship with Peter, a popular but kindhearted jock. It’s not long before the fake relationship leads both to develop real feelings.

Casting the Vietnamese-born newcomer Condor as the endearing Lara Jean opposite Centineo (of “Charlie’s Angels” and “The Perfect Date”) resulted in palpable chemistry that certainly helped fuel the success of “To All the Boys.”

Condor said in an interview that she thought the excitement around the original stemmed from its wholesome, uplifting love story: “You kind of feel better after you watch it. You feel joy, and I think there’s something to be said about, right now, today, you kind of have to actively seek joy.” Centineo similarly saw the film as comfort food. “Chicken soup for the soul, baby. That’s what we want.”

But the film’s popularity was also driven by more tangible factors. For one, there had been a noticeable lack of successful film rom-coms for years. Movies like “10 Things I Hate About You,” “She’s All That” and “Drive Me Crazy” were staples of the late 1990s and the early 2000s, but that was the last time the teen rom-com was really prevalent on the big screen; “To All the Boys” was a rom-com for a new generation.

And it injected new life into the genre with its diverse cast of characters. Condor’s casting was seen as a win for Asian-American audiences, who had seen several Asian characters morph into white ones in recent screen adaptations. (See the controversies surrounding “Doctor Strange” and “Ghost in the Shell.”)

LeiLani Nishime, a professor of communications at the University of Washington, said Asian-Americans usually show up only “in certain kinds of genres” like sci-fi or family dramas “but things like detective films or rom-coms, you didn’t see a whole lot of Asian-Americans.”

The movie was a (partial) answer to the underrepresentation of such characters. Han said, “We’ve seen a certain type of rom-com many times, and I have never seen an Asian-American girl as the lead of a rom-com. So I think being able to experience the first blush of first love through her eyes, it felt really new and sparkly.”

“To All the Boys” was also released the same week as “Crazy Rich Asians,” and the combination of both films propelled a surge of interest in Asian-American romances onscreen. These two rom-coms of course couldn’t solve the lack of representation, but they did prove that Asian-American audiences wanted to see more of themselves onscreen.

In“P.S. I Still Love You,” once again adapted from Han’s romance novel series, the budding relationship between Lara Jean and Peter continues. But the onscreen antics are further complicated when another one of Lara Jean’s past crushes (and letter recipients), John Ambrose — played by Jordan Fisher — re-enters her life. With John, Lara Jean’s first love, in the picture, she has another dream guy to consider. John, unlike the suave, popular Peter, is both bookish and charming. What transpires is a love triangle that will probably spur an online battle of internet crushes.

“The truth of the matter is, when you have someone like Jordan Fisher up against anyone else, his competition should be afraid, very afraid,” Centineo said, “because he is charismatic, he is extremely intelligent, extremely articulate and more than anything, he’s just a kind human being and soul. And he knows how to cook.”

While Centineo said he knew that some viewers wouldn’t be thrilled with a rival love interest, he added that it made for a more compelling narrative. “When dealing with a franchise, especially one that was as successful as the first film, you really want to follow up with something that isn’t just exactly what the audience would want,” he said. But the romantic chaos will give fans endearing moments from Lara Jean that include stress baking and a “Cinderella” scene where everything comes to a head while she’s clad in a ball gown.

The sequel is filled with the same chemistry between Condor and Centineo that once sparked rumors they were dating. Despite that speculation, the two actors say they had just formed a tight bond. (Condor has been with her boyfriend, Anthony De La Torre, for more than four years).

“Acting with Noah is very, very easy, so, it doesn’t take a lot for me to love his heart and his mind,” Condor said, adding, “If people believe that we’re together or they want us to be, I think that means we did our job as actors.”

Centineo also noted that when they met they “were both in very similar places in our lives and we bonded on the pain that we were both experiencing.”

“P.S. I Still Love You” is about more than just romance, though. Just as one of the screenwriters, Sofia Alvarez, didn’t want the first film to be “about a girl who was in love with her sister’s boyfriend,” the second film follows Lara Jean as she explores what it “means to be vulnerable once you’re actually in that relationship and dealing with the other person as opposed to just thinking about being in a relationship with them.” Ultimately, Condor said, that will lead to more challenges for viewers. “The audience is going to be more frustrated at Lara Jean than they will be at the boys,” she said.

“P.S. I Still Love You” is part of a larger Netflix plan. Both Condor and Centineo said they wrapped filming on the final entry in the trilogy in August. While details about the third installment were limited, one of the producers, Matt Kaplan, said that the film centers on “Lara Jean and Peter dealing with what life is like when you have to start to make more adult choices, like going off to college and figuring out how to navigate bigger, more adult conversations about relationships.”

But the team behind the franchise thinks it will reverberate beyond the initial releases. Alongside films like “Crazy Rich Asians” and “Always Be My Maybe,” Condor said she hoped the “To All the Boys” movies would inspire more rom-coms to take Asian-American representation into consideration. “I think Asian-American actors have really kind of harnessed their power and they are trying to step into the space with confidence,” she said. “I am so proud to even be a little part of a movement that I hope is not just a movement, but is a very long forever process.”

And the producer Kaplan envisions the “To All the Boys” films becoming part of the rom-com canon, Kaplan said: “I hope that the franchise will resonate in a way that lasts for generations, and that kids can look back at these movies and Lara Jean and Peter Kavinsky can kind of be known in history as one of these really charming romantic comedy couples.”

from WordPress https://mastcomm.com/entertainment/to-all-the-boys-ive-loved-before-and-to-fans-hungry-for-more-2/

[baekstolemyname]

that long list of like 94 questions minnie had you post! (r u high on holiday w ur bf!!??)

i actually have not smoked at all since we left for japan, wasnt about to chance taking that shit thru the airport. but okay i’ll do all of them just for you (also because minnie is still sleeping and im bored af.. gonna skip the ones i already answered tho)

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?uhhh my closet is like an entirely separate room type thing that doesnt have doors? lmaoo

(2) Do You Have Freckles?like a few here and there, but not on my face

(3) Can You Whistle?hell yeahhh

(4) Last Song You Listened To.me and minnie had sex last night with bts playing in the background.. idk the name of the songs tho

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?black

(6) Relationship Status.very much in a relationship

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?its like hot af right now... like 80 something

(9) How Many Followers?67 im so famous i know

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?brown

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?no fuck that

(14) What Books Are You Reading?lmao books

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.there are no books in my hotel room so no

(16) Favourite Anime?fuck dude, dont make me do that i like too many

(18) Do You Collect Anything?yeah, collars for minnie

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?i havent even got outta bed yet dude

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?no, but baek does and its obnoxious as hell 

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?yeah some smeared ass eyeliner from yesterday

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?ocean thooo

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?mine, duh

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?bottled, tap water is actual shit

(28) What Makes You Happy?making minnie happy

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(literally this is the only gif i’ve ever saved to my computer lmfaooo)

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?lmfaooo study

(31) Dogs Or Cats?cats

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?fuckin.... macaroni and cheese crayola crayon

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.playstation xbox is the worst

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?why do you keep asking me about swimming chill dude

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?FUCK no

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?uhh i am shirtless currently

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?the fuck does that even mean?? i can wrap it around a dick if thats what youre asking lmfaoo

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?have... have you met minnie? there is ALWAYS something pink within 10 feet of me lmaoo

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?yeah this mochi from the cafe down the street from my hotel.. swear ive eaten like $100 worth of it already

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?why

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?i was by my cousins when i was younger now i couldnt give a fuck what other people are doing

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?no i have some dumb ass boring as shit dreams that dont mean anything

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?im indifferent

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.this korean move i watched with minnie, miracle in cell 7 or something i think it was called. it was good, watch it, i sobbed like a bitch lmaoo

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?um, ew

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?bts because minnie would fucking scream

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?oh yeah, like you legit gotta fuckin shake me to wake me up

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?no

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?gross

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?yeeeeeeess

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?neither honestly, but i guess carve pumpkins

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?Nobody Baby by The Pink Spiders

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)hell summer

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?the fucking mochi from the cafe down the street 

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.no fuck you

(58) What Is Your Gender?wow youre a nosy shit huh?

(59) Coffee Or Tea?coffee

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?nah dude i just graduated

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?you know thats honestly a great question lmfaoo 

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?yeah im not a slob

(63) Favourite Pokemon?ampharos

(64) Favourite Social Media?you know i actually only use tumblr because fb and twitter are just... drama

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?i literally avoid instagram like the plague because of baek so idk what that even means..

(66) Do You Get Homesick?no i love not being at home

(67) Are You A Virgin?LMFAOO

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?idk some expensive shit the girl that cuts my hair told me to buy

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?uhhhhh OR id just go stay in a nice ass hotel

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?unfortunately

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?i have no idea tbh

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?i do not have an ex

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?some sign at this market minnie and i went to was written in japanese and the translation under it said “walk fast and rainbows sweetly” and im kinda never gonna forget that

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?eye color... is not sexy??

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?i didnt do much child stuff when i was a kid i was always busy being dragged around with my parents

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?ate minnie out before bed if that counts?

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?pokemon go and some word game i play when i dont want people to talk to me in public

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?uhhh no...? because like idk how to do that shit

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?obviously

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?no i fucking hate people

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.i do but i dont have them on now

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?closed and locked

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?ive literally only woken up, went to the bathroom and laid in bed on my phone

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.dont wanna

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?night fuck the sun

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.im not about to spend that kind of time on this.. just, lots of nintendo

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.i really only rarely have dreams and theyre always like boring dumb shit, like i’ll be walking for five minutes down the street i live on and then wake up

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?dr pepper i guess

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?uhhhh both

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?tired af and like i had some crazy ass sex before bed lmfaoo

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?so many

(96) Favourite YouTuber?jontron is like honestly my favorite human after minnie

fuck that took so long why did i do this?? lmfaoo you better have read every single one anon i did this long ass shit for you

[mastcomm]

‘To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before’ … and to Fans Hungry for More

When “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” debuted on Netflix in 2018, it seemed like just the latest title in its “Summer of Love” promotion. There was “Set It Up,” “Sierra Burgess Is a Loser” and “The Kissing Booth.” But “To All the Boys” quickly proved to be a phenomenon.

The main character, a Korean-American high schooler named Lara Jean (played by Lana Condor), won over audiences who saw themselves mirrored in her life and mixed heritage. There was a surge of thirst for the internet’s newest crush, Noah Centineo (playing Lara Jean’s love interest, Peter Kavinsky). Sales for Yakult, a Korean yogurt drink, increased after being featured in several scenes, and by Halloween, Twitter was overloaded with images of costumes inspired by Lara Jean.

“To All the Boys” became one of Netflix’s “most viewed original films ever,” with many fans watching it repeatedly, according to Variety. If the streaming service, which selectively releases audience numbers, is to be believed, more than 80 million subscribers caught the rom-com. The company also cited Instagram data to show the film’s impact: Condor’s follower count jumped from about 100,000 to 5.5 million, while Centineo’s increased from 800,000 to 13.4 million.

“To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” clearly seemed to tap into an unmet demand. Now, the team behind the first film are hoping its sequel, “P.S. I Still Love You,” will too when it premieres on Feb. 12.

Based on Jenny Han’s best-selling 2014 debut YA novel of the same name, the first movie followed Lara Jean as she is forced to confront her emotions when private love letters she penned are sent to her past crushes — and to her current one, her sister’s ex-boyfriend Josh (Israel Broussard). While navigating the mayhem that ensues and trying to make Josh jealous, she ends up in a fake relationship with Peter, a popular but kindhearted jock. It’s not long before the fake relationship leads both to develop real feelings.

Casting the Vietnamese-born newcomer Condor as the endearing Lara Jean opposite Centineo (of “Charlie’s Angels” and “The Perfect Date”) resulted in palpable chemistry that certainly helped fuel the success of “To All the Boys.”

Condor said in an interview that she thought the excitement around the original stemmed from its wholesome, uplifting love story: “You kind of feel better after you watch it. You feel joy, and I think there’s something to be said about, right now, today, you kind of have to actively seek joy.” Centineo similarly saw the film as comfort food. “Chicken soup for the soul, baby. That’s what we want.”

But the film’s popularity was also driven by more tangible factors. For one, there had been a noticeable lack of successful film rom-coms for years. Movies like “10 Things I Hate About You,” “She’s All That” and “Drive Me Crazy” were staples of the late 1990s and the early 2000s, but that was the last time the teen rom-com was really prevalent on the big screen; “To All the Boys” was a rom-com for a new generation.

And it injected new life into the genre with its diverse cast of characters. Condor’s casting was seen as a win for Asian-American audiences, who had seen several Asian characters morph into white ones in recent screen adaptations. (See the controversies surrounding “Doctor Strange” and “Ghost in the Shell.”)

LeiLani Nishime, a professor of communications at the University of Washington, said Asian-Americans usually show up only “in certain kinds of genres” like sci-fi or family dramas “but things like detective films or rom-coms, you didn’t see a whole lot of Asian-Americans.”

The movie was a (partial) answer to the underrepresentation of such characters. Han said, “We’ve seen a certain type of rom-com many times, and I have never seen an Asian-American girl as the lead of a rom-com. So I think being able to experience the first brush of first love through her eyes, it felt really new and sparkly.”

“To All the Boys” was also released the same week as “Crazy Rich Asians,” and the combination of both films propelled a surge of interest in Asian-American romances onscreen. These two rom-coms of course couldn’t solve the lack of representation, but they did prove that Asian-American audiences wanted to see more of themselves onscreen.

In“P.S. I Still Love You,” once again adapted from Han’s romance novel series, the budding relationship between Lara Jean and Peter continues. But the onscreen antics are further complicated when another one of Lara Jean’s past crushes (and letter recipients), John Ambrose — played by Jordan Fisher — re-enters her life. With John, Lara Jean’s first love, in the picture, she has another dream guy to consider. John, unlike the suave, popular Peter, is both bookish and charming. What transpires is a love triangle that will probably spur an online battle of internet crushes.

“The truth of the matter is, when you have someone like Jordan Fisher up against anyone else, his competition should be afraid, very afraid,” Centineo said, “because he is charismatic, he is extremely intelligent, extremely articulate and more than anything, he’s just a kind human being and soul. And he knows how to cook.”

While Centineo said he knew that some viewers wouldn’t be thrilled with a rival love interest, he added that it made for a more compelling narrative. “When dealing with a franchise, especially one that was as successful as the first film, you really want to follow up with something that isn’t just exactly what the audience would want,” he said. But the romantic chaos will give fans endearing moments from Lara Jean that include stress baking and a “Cinderella” scene where everything comes to a head while she’s clad in a ball gown.

The sequel is filled with the same chemistry between Condor and Centineo that once sparked rumors they were dating. Despite that speculation, the two actors say they had just formed a tight bond. (Condor has been with her boyfriend, Anthony De La Torre, for more than four years).

“Acting with Noah is very, very easy, so, it doesn’t take a lot for me to love his heart and his mind,” Condor said, adding, “If people believe that we’re together or they want us to be, I think that means we did our job as actors.”

Centineo also noted that when they met they “were both in very similar places in our lives and we bonded on the pain that we were both experiencing.”

“P.S. I Still Love You” is about more than just romance, though. Just as one of the screenwriters, Sofia Alvarez, didn’t want the first film to be “about a girl who was in love with her sister’s boyfriend,” the second film follows Lara Jean as she explores what it “means to be vulnerable once you’re actually in that relationship and dealing with the other person as opposed to just thinking about being in a relationship with them.” Ultimately, Condor said, that will lead to more challenges for viewers. “The audience is going to be more frustrated at Lara Jean than they will be at the boys,” she said.

“P.S. I Still Love You” is part of a larger Netflix plan. Both Condor and Centineo said they wrapped filming on the final entry in the trilogy in August. While details about the third installment were limited, one of the producers, Matt Kaplan, said that the film centers on “Lara Jean and Peter dealing with what life is like when you have to start to make more adult choices, like going off to college and figuring out how to navigate bigger, more adult conversations about relationships.”

But the team behind the franchise thinks it will reverberate beyond the initial releases. Alongside films like “Crazy Rich Asians” and “Always Be My Maybe,” Condor said she hoped the “To All the Boys” movies would inspire more rom-coms to take Asian-American representation into consideration. “I think Asian-American actors have really kind of harnessed their power and they are trying to step into the space with confidence,” she said. “I am so proud to even be a little part of a movement that I hope is not just a movement, but is a very long forever process.”

And the producer Kaplan envisions the “To All the Boys” films becoming part of the rom-com canon, Kaplan said: “I hope that the franchise will resonate in a way that lasts for generations, and that kids can look back at these movies and Lara Jean and Peter Kavinsky can kind of be known in history as one of these really charming romantic comedy couples.”

from WordPress https://mastcomm.com/to-all-the-boys-ive-loved-before-and-to-fans-hungry-for-more/