#but its still frustrating to think back on and to observe
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s-zephyr · 10 months ago
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society when someone with trauma and disorders behaves in a traumatized and disordered way:
🤬🤯
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fursasaida · 11 months ago
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This article is from 2022, but it came up in the context of Palestine:
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Here are some striking passages, relevant to all colonial aftermaths but certainly also to the forms we see Zionist reaction taking at the moment:
Over the decade I lived in South Africa, I became fascinated by this white minority [i.e. the whole white population post-apartheid as a minority in the country], particularly its members who considered themselves progressive. They reminded me of my liberal peers in America, who had an apparently self-assured enthusiasm about the coming of a so-called majority-minority nation. As with white South Africans who had celebrated the end of apartheid, their enthusiasm often belied, just beneath the surface, a striking degree of fear, bewilderment, disillusionment, and dread.
[...]
Yet these progressives’ response to the end of apartheid was ambivalent. Contemplating South Africa after apartheid, an Economist correspondent observed that “the lives of many whites exude sadness.” The phenomenon perplexed him. In so many ways, white life remained more or less untouched, or had even improved. Despite apartheid’s horrors—and the regime’s violence against those who worked to dismantle it—the ANC encouraged an attitude of forgiveness. It left statues of Afrikaner heroes standing and helped institute the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, which granted amnesty to some perpetrators of apartheid-era political crimes.
But as time wore on, even wealthy white South Africans began to radiate a degree of fear and frustration that did not match any simple economic analysis of their situation. A startling number of formerly anti-apartheid white people began to voice bitter criticisms of post-apartheid society. An Afrikaner poet who did prison time under apartheid for aiding the Black-liberation cause wrote an essay denouncing the new Black-led country as “a sewer of betrayed expectations and thievery, fear and unbridled greed.”
What accounted for this disillusionment? Many white South Africans told me that Black forgiveness felt like a slap on the face. By not acting toward you as you acted toward us, we’re showing you up, white South Africans seemed to hear. You’ll owe us a debt of gratitude forever.
The article goes on to discuss:
"Mau Mau anxiety," or the fear among whites of violent repercussions, and how this shows up in reported vs confirmed crime stats - possibly to the point of false memories of home invasion
A sense of irrelevance and alienation among this white population, leading to another anxiety: "do we still belong here?"
The sublimation of this anxiety into self-identification as a marginalized minority group, featuring such incredible statements as "I wanted to fight for Afrikaners, but I came to think of myself as a ‘liberal internationalist,’ not a white racist...I found such inspiration from the struggles of the Catalonians and the Basques. Even Tibet" and "[Martin Luther] King [Jr.] also fought for a people without much political representation … That’s why I consider him one of my most important forebears and heroes,” from a self-declared liberal environmentalist who also thinks Afrikaaners should take back government control because they are "naturally good" at governance
Some discussion of the dynamics underlying these reactions, particularly the fact that "admitting past sins seem[ed] to become harder even as they receded into history," and US parallels
And finally, in closing:
The Afrikaner journalist Rian Malan, who opposed apartheid, has written that, by most measures, its aftermath went better than almost any white person could have imagined. But, as with most white progressives, his experience of post-1994 South Africa has been complicated. [...]
He just couldn’t forgive Black people for forgiving him. Paradoxically, being left undisturbed served as an ever-present reminder of his guilt, of how wrongly he had treated his maid and other Black people under apartheid. “The Bible was right about a thing or two,” he wrote. “It is infinitely worse to receive than to give, especially if … the gift is mercy.”
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ceilidho · 21 days ago
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fear of god
prompt: There's someone outside the spacecraft. You don't remember them being part of the crew. Part 4 masterlist
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At the quantum level, an electron can behave as both a wave and a particle. It is the act of observing it that confines it to a single form. The electron that once could’ve passed through multiple openings at once is forced to choose a single path when observed. 
Because what the eye sees becomes—
“—real,” you whisper, staring up at the face hovering in the window beside your bed. His smile doesn’t waver. “You can’t be real.”
“Sorry about the other day,” he says, instead of answering. “I got a bit lost after you left.”
Again, you pinch the soft skin of your thigh to wake yourself up and twitch when the pain sets in. The reassurance that you’re still awake doesn’t go a long way towards reassuring you. 
“This isn’t real,” you repeat to yourself, squeezing your eyes shut and breathing heavily out through your mouth. “This isn’t real.”
Your words are met with a silence so profound that it almost feels as though you’ve plugged your ears, until you open your eyes and he’s still there, waiting right outside the window.
The blue lights around the inside of the window glow soft against his dark skin. You can make out the finer details of his face up close—the smoothness of his skin; the faint scar on his cheek; the fine grooves in his plush bottom lip. Too beautiful to have spent the last several days without food or water or sleep or fresh oxygen. You, with access to all of those resources, feel grimy; gritty. Skin tight against the bone, and hollowed.
“Was that you? Before?” you ask, thinking of the astronaut you saw drifting out in the distance, so lifeless and limp that you imagined the body within it long expired. 
He nods. The motion is slow, deliberate; still that sluggishness analogous with zero gravity. 
You wait for him to volunteer more information, but he just smiles wordlessly at you. It’s difficult to know where to begin. You’ve always been the kind to break a problem down into smaller, more manageable parts, but with this you don’t even know where to start. Its bigness is all you can focus on. The enormity of it. 
“Where did you go?” you ask instead. “You weren’t—…you were gone when I came back. We couldn’t find you.”
He blinks. “Elsewhere.”
“You can…move around out there?” 
“I can.”
His deliberate evasiveness frustrates you. Ostensibly one-dimensional with his glib charm and easy smile, but with an unplumbed depth. His response provokes more questions than it answers, and you can tell that it’s intentional. 
But again you’re prescribing an internal locus of control to an apparition that has been proven to exist only in your head. It can only supply you with information that you already have. 
And that’s the real quandary, isn’t it? The thing that has you whispering softly to yourself oh no oh no oh no oh no in the quiet of your room. Your body knows that the front door of your mind lies on its side, ripped from the hinges, dirt mounds blackening the entryway. And now outside stands a man, waiting to be let in. 
“How am I able to hear you?”
He smiles. “You must just want to listen.”
You huff out a breath through your nose. There it is again. 
“Who are you?” you ask, and you know that his answer won't matter. It won't matter because it won't be real. Because it's just you in your head and the words are too loud and whatever sickness is in your mind has crystallized in the body of a man that stares at you with a gaze too intense, too penetrating for what he is.
“You can call me Gaz,” he says simply, teeth peeking out from behind his lips when he enunciates the name. Glinting sharp like bone in the blue light. 
His answer makes you blink. It doesn’t seem like a name that you would come up with, but the mind works in mysterious ways. You didn’t think it could conjure up a person either, and now look at what’s happening to you. And it is happening to you, of that you’re sure. 
“Are you going to let me in?” he asks before you can open your mouth again.
He presses his gloved hand to the window. The folds in the fabric spread with his fingers, the pads of his fingers flecked with dust and grime, worn from years of use. 
You give a curt shake of your head. 
“Love…” Gaz says warningly. 
In the few days since he first appeared in the window, you’ve never heard him use that tone. You’re not too proud to say it frightens you. Whether he’s real or just in your head, so far Gaz has been perfectly affable, and you’re not sure you’re willing to face the implication that he might not always be that way. 
“I need to sleep,” you plead. “T-tomorrow—I’ll…I’ll think about it tomorrow.”
You press a button on the wall that drops a panel over the window with a quiet shunk, blocking Gaz from view.
When he knocks again, a shiver ripples down your spine. Guilt twists your insides up in knots. All you can do is pull the comforter over your head and block your ears. 
By morning, the temperature in your room has dropped a degree. You bundle up in a thicker sweatshirt and boots before going for your morning cup of coffee, but for the first time since takeoff all those months ago, you head for your work station instead of sipping your coffee in the cockpit. 
You start to hear him no matter where you are on the ship, a window no longer necessary. Always it comes after two solid raps against the hull of the ship, the sound jolting your heart into a frantic beat, pulse fluttering wildly under your skin. And then his voice, muffled through the layers of aluminum and titanium alloys, but intelligible despite the impossibility of it all. 
Sometimes, you respond. Just a few words to acknowledge his existence, even when the wall separating the two of you is impermeable, only his voice accessible to you. 
That makes it worse somehow though. Displaces his voice from his body, forcing you to reckon with his presence like a symptom of a bicameral mind, your own thoughts projected from you into the world. What difference is there between his voice and an audio hallucination? You should know better than to indulge in it. 
You’re beginning to understand the real root of the problem. The crux of it all. There’s a box in your mind labeled psychosis, and in the months of prolonged isolation and discomfort, you’ve inadvertently unshelved it, pulled it out of its storage space and peeled the lid open, all of its contents now released into the world. 
The thought is terrifying. You wonder if you can even trust your own mind, if everything is now compromised. Can you even trust what you see in front of you, or have you made it up as well? The thought is so disturbing that it paralyzes you in your bed at night. 
You’ve taken to sleeping in the medbay because it’s one of the few rooms without access to any exterior walls. Several other crew quarters separate it from the hull, while the main corridor runs along the other side. It’s the only place where you’re able to get a decent night’s sleep, though the lights stay on, fluorescent white at all times, programmed to stay at full brightness in case of an emergency. 
Even the sight of your own reflection makes you flinch until you realize it’s just you. 
One twenty-four hour period cycles into the next, pulling you into its embrace like crossing over an event horizon, your future self already distended out in front of you. 
In an effort to finally put you to good use (you try not to resent the implication when it’s framed like that), Farah tasks you with conducting pressure checks on the fuel tanks and lines around the ship while she continues to focus on the issue with the cruise control. You’re tasked with attaching a pressure gauge to the tank and increasing the pressure while keeping an eye out for any leaks or drops in pressure. A task simple enough that even the uninitiated could perform it. Busywork. 
You shut down the part of you that beats on your chest and demands that you leave. That this isn’t your job; you were brought aboard for a particular purpose and this isn’t it. You could be conducting your own research instead in the comfort of your lab, ensconced in data on antimicrobial resistance in space or microgravity-induced orthostatic intolerance. Not checking fuel tank pressure.
Someone raps their knuckles against the wall nearest you from the outside of the ship, startling you. 
“Shit,” you curse, the pressure gauge slipping out of your hand and clattering to the floor. You sigh when you bend down to pick it up and wince when you notice a crack in the glass where it hit the floor. 
“Love? Is that you?” Gaz asks from the other side of the wall, voice muffled.
Ignoring his voice doesn’t keep your heart from beating harder. You try to focus instead on the task at hand, pressuring the tank to fifteen hundred psi and waiting for the needle to stabilize on the gauge. Nothing abnormal. You jot it down and move on to the next tank, removing the gauge and starting the process anew. 
Another thump against the hull, the sound sending a jolt through your body. 
“I know you’re there.” He sounds amused. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
How could you avoid someone in your head? You almost say as much but then catch yourself on the verge of opening your mouth. You turn back your task, scrolling down the checklist on your tablet. 
There’s an edge to his voice the next time he speaks. “This is starting to annoy me, love.”
“I’m not avoiding you,” you whisper, finally breaking, the stylus nearly slipping from your clammy hands. Brows scrunched, eyes shut tight. Another breath out to stabilize yourself. 
“Ah, there you are,” Gaz hums. “Thought you didn’t want to talk to me anymore.”
Just ignore it, you think, breathing in and out again. 
“You’d rather talk to Farah than me,” he says when you don’t respond, almost accusatory, and you nearly brush it off until you register what he said.  
“How do you know her name?” you hiss under your breath, turning your head to stare at the panel that his voice emanates from behind. 
“I thought I was just in your head,” he says, amused again. Voice lighter than a moment prior. Easygoing as ever.
You worry at your lower lip until the skin threatens to break. “Yes, but—”
“Who are you talking to?”
Your head whips around at the sound of Farah’s voice. You hadn’t heard the cargo hold doors open, but she stands in the doorway, staring at you with an unreadable expression, shoulders squared and hands on her hips. 
Your instinct is to ask her how long she’s been standing there, but that won’t serve you in the long run. You almost want to ask if she heard his voice too, but you don’t think you could handle her confirming to your face that Gaz’s voice is all in your head. 
“…No one.”
Her face hardens and you wonder if you made the wrong call choosing to lie to her. But what else should you have said? The wall behind you remains conspicuously silent.
The next few seconds under her gaze feel endless. Eventually though, Farah pivots on her heel without another word and leaves the way she came, the doors sliding shut behind her. 
The room bellows its cold ire. Only the sound of your own breathing reaches your ears. 
An hour passes. Possibly longer. The stress eats away at your insides. Though you don’t cross paths with Farah for the rest of the day, you can’t help the way every sound makes you flinch and glance towards its source. Jumpy; paranoid. 
You make yourself dinner when the galley is still empty and eat in the medbay instead of with the rest of the crew. The peppery aftertaste is more prominent than usual while you eat; you almost have to choke your food down. Almost metallic, like antiseptic. 
It happens again on your way back to your quarters. The lights cycle with the night and dim in the hallway, a soft pale glow like a low-hanging moon illuminating the floor in front of you. 
You catch him in the corner of your eye this time, no knock to signal his presence. Just an astronaut hovering outside the window, nearly translucent with the absence of light. The fear that overcomes you is almost animalistic until it settles into the folds of your skin like an ointment rubbed in, and you turn to face him. 
It’s the same but different. You know what he wants. What he’s waiting for. 
“I don’t think I can let you in,” you whisper, looking away from the window to the other side of the hall. His gaze seers into the side of your head.
“Why not?” It’s the first time Gaz’s voice has sounded cold to your ears. The hair on the back of your neck stands on end. 
“I’m worried you’re not real. That maybe you’re just in my head. And I can’t—” You bite your lip, swallowing the warble in your voice. “—I can’t let them know I’m crazy.”
Let them know. As if it were a foregone conclusion. As if you’ve already passed the point of no return. But what other conclusion could you draw from your observations as of late? The constant disappearances and reappearances, his voice in your head only when you’re alone. His voice in general, somehow audible despite there being no medium for it to pass through. You’ve been ignoring his anomalous properties because you’ve been desperate to believe that your mind hasn’t been compromised. That you aren’t a danger to the people around you—a voice in your head telling you to open the airlock when there’s nothing out there in space. 
When you turn your head, he’s still there, eyes stony behind the visor of his spacesuit. He tilts his head and the visor glints black for a second, suddenly opaque, obscuring his face.
He looms like a figure straight out of death, imposing even from the outside of the ship. Your arms hang limp at your sides, locked in place under his gaze. Even the thought of moving fills you with dread. 
But he isn’t real; he’s just in your head.
When Gaz lifts his head again, his visor clears and his smile is pleasant again, back to what it once was.
“I’ll prove that I’m real. Wait for me, love.”
And then he’s gone, the view beyond the window night sky black. Gone between one blink and the next; faster than light.
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simplyreveries · 9 months ago
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"and then i go and spoil it all by saying somethin' stupid like 'i love you'"
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riddle rosehearts
riddle feels such a strange feeling in his chest, he hates it. he feels nervous as you make his chest squeeze and filled with pressure every time, you're near— it washes away as soon as you turn and talk to him. he feels frustrated because he finds himself unable to focus, unable to think clearly when all he sees you. you make him feel such a sense of comfort, he feels like he can fully let his guard down and tell you everything about him if you asked and it scares him. he has looked into how he is feeling, tried asking trey bashfully or read books, things online how he could possibly cope with this sickness.
more often than not he’s drawn to observing and noticing everything about you, your little quirks, expressions, comments, when your right in front of him now, laughing and talking freely amongst your friends around him happily helping out and cleaning up a little. he doesn't seem to be near nor saying a word but only mesmerized as he watches from a distance, he feels so much in a daze of this realization that he doesn't snap out when you walk over to him, he looks at you with a distressed look.
"... have you ever been in love?"
leona kingscholar
despite leona’s intelligence and knowing just exactly what he is feeling about you, he is stubborn at heart. he absolutely hates what you're doing to him, he can't even sleep and take a nap in peace without you invading his thoughts. it looks like he’s angry at you or frustrated, really but it's just him unable to handle the emotions you make him experience. he is infuriated with how he succumbs to the jealously that you make him feel when you're with others, that he feels need to want that attention back on him. still, you talk and find him, usually talking his ear off about something random and some event that occurred to you today.
he has his eyes closed but still listens to you. sometimes you’ll join a game of chess with him, to which he usually takes the pride in winning. he never really questioned as to why you're so persistent on befriending or even just being around him, perhaps you warmed up to him when he cracked and gave into letting you and grim stay at his dorm when yours was practically taken over. his demeanor around you is small, but noticeable. sometimes you'd tease and laugh, you tell him "you must love me" his eyes are kept on you with his eyebrows raised, but he wouldn't say anything to deny.
"do you really wanna make me say it?"
azul ashengrotto
azul finds his demeanor collapsing around you, when he tries to play his cool-headed, business oriented, cleverly scheming person with a smug grin that turns into a stupid smile because he finds himself too nervous around you and so happy being close to you. any attempt he makes to be "suave" around you, it only shows what a hopeless man he is. he feels like he has to look like he absolutely is perfect in front of you, how else would you fall for him? nevertheless, you always seem to be able to see right through him and he hates that. he doesn't want to feel vulnerable, its icky to him.
he watches you after hours in the mostro lounge as you hum and finish closing and cleaning up with him and some others, however now it only seems to be you and azul. he knows he shouldn’t be staring but he tells himself just a few moments more, he always found you under the lighting to be mesmerizing. he hears you telling him about something silly that happened while you were serving, he hears you but can't focus as his mind is running with a million thoughts, if you ask him what it is, he clears his throat and carefully adjusts his glasses, replying slowly.
“i just... love you”
kalim al-asim
his feelings hit so hard, as soon as he got them, he loved it and wanted more of the adrenaline and high of being completely enamored with someone. he loved all the little things that happens throughout the day that makes him so giddy and happy he thinks about it as he tries to sleep, excited for tomorrow to come to see you. kalim feels like he is literally your other half, always wanting to be right beside you.
he finds himself daydreaming quite often, of what it'd be like to be yours, even the thought of you giving him a kiss on the cheek has him flushed. of course, you’d find himself at his celebrations and parades he holds at his dorm. he'd always try to get you to dance, grabbing your hands and jumping up and down with you laughing at least. kalim feels like he can say anything to you and thats exactly what he does. he grabs your hands and bring it up to his face near his lips.
"i love you!"
vil schoenheit
he had his apprehensions; you were more so just someone he knew and eventually because dormmates during his stay with the others at ramshackle. vil had always seemed so drawn to you, if you notice him staring and give a nervous, confused look he'll smoothly adjust something on you. it looks like he can see right through you at times, it didn't take long for him to believe what a genuinely good soul you are in this school. when you and the others were dealing with the events that unfolded when dealing with idia and STYX, when vil had hugged you and pressed a kiss to your forehead he realized just how fully he was deep in this. he pulled away and stared at you for a moment with his hands gripped on your arms that took a longer to fully pull away.
you've sparked such an interest in him, he practically found himself becoming infatuated over time. you'll find yourself within his dorm as he carefully applies makeup to your face-- he adores doing but he can't help but feel amused with a smile creeping to his face when he feels how strangely intimate it feels between you too with him so close. he looks at you with the dreamiest daze, he'll pinch your cheek lightly before moving to grab something else.
"i cant believe i've fallen for you"
idia shroud
he stares and fidgets on his phone nervously, biting his already scarred lip-- he is staring at your contact. he wants to get it off his chest, he wants to get it out of the way if you're reciprocating and feel the same way to someone like him. ortho practically bugs him all the time to, confident and laughs even when he brings up the idea- ortho knows you and thinks idia will be successful and pleasantly surprised with your answer. idia hates that he can't help the way he feels around you, he feels a sense of relief and comfort when you're near- like he doesn't need to be absolutely on edge.
yet as soon as he felt that sensation around you, he eventually turned into his fear because of his infatuation he has around you only grew. he feels his mouth goes dry and struggles to finds something to say when he's looking right at you. you'll still see his moments where he's rambling about something he built or a media he is enjoying but he grows back more into his shell of anxiety when he realizes how much he feels. he considers you perfect and honestly, far out of his league. there was no one someone like you would possibly fall for someone like him. still, idia has found himself to be a pathetic mess when it comes to you and quickly presses send.
"I think i love you"
malleus draconia
surprisingly, out of all of them - i feel like its him that falls for you the quickest. he found himself to be so smitten with you as soon as he accidentally stumbled upon you when it was unbeknownst to him that you were living in the ramshackle dorm now. he admires you, you've shown anything but fear around him and made him feel seen. he truly believes its fate that you somehow found yourself all the way to twisted wonderland and you two had met each other, he tends to find his mind drifting and thinking about that a lot. despite you possessing no magic, he still sometimes will tell you even before confessing that you must hold something. malleus won't give you an exact answer as to why he thinks that yet– being playful and mysterious as he quietly laughs to himself. you stumbled into this unknown world and made him this infatuated. he can't take his eyes off of you during the nights you find yourself talking to him, he watches you look at the nature, as he often shares you the beauty of it in the late hours.
"you've bewitched me, havent you?"
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msboookesh · 3 months ago
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cling-csc
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Pairing: idol!scoups x fem!reader
Genre: fluff, cute jealous and sulky scoups, established relationship
Synopsis: Seungcheol's jealousy about y/n's fictional celebrity suitors meets its match when y/n finds his frustration too adorable.
a/n: happy birthday general leader!
୭🧷✧˚. ᵎᵎ 🧁
One balmy afternoon in Y/n’s cozy apartment, sunlight filtered through the gauzy curtains, casting a warm, golden hue over the room. Y/n lounged comfortably on the couch, a soft smile gracing her lips as she watched her boyfriend, Seungcheol, with a mixture of amusement and admiration.
Seungcheol, perched on the other end of the couch, had his toned legs crossed and his expression was one of adorable irritation. He was intently scrolling through his phone, his brows furrowed as he read the various public opinions about Y/n and her supposed type of men. The comments were a mix of speculation and playful shipping, reflecting the K-entertainment industry's tendency to speculate about the personal lives of celebrities.
“Can you believe this?” Seungcheol muttered, his voice tinged with frustration. “They’re saying you’d look good with all these other guys. Just because you’re pretty and young doesn’t mean you have to be paired up with everyone.”
Y/n's eyes sparkled with mischief as she observed Seungcheol’s pouting. She loved seeing him like this, his usually confident demeanor softening into something more vulnerable and endearing.
“What do they think my type is?” Y/n asked, feigning innocence. She already knew the answer, but she enjoyed teasing him.
“They think you like guys who are nonchalant, the ones who don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves.” Seungcheol grumbled, still scrolling through his phone.
Y/n couldn’t help but chuckle. “Oh, really? That’s interesting.”
Seungcheol’s pout deepened. “Yeah, well, if they only knew how much you love someone clingy. Someone who can’t breathe without your attention. Someone like me.”
Y/n's heart swelled with affection as she saw Seungcheol’s sulking face. She decided to stoke the fire a bit more. “Maybe I do look good with those other guys. You know, it’s all just for fun.”
Seungcheol groaned dramatically, his shoulders slumping as he scooted away from her, his frustration palpable. “You’re not making this any easier, you know. You’re really pushing it.”
Y/n bit her lip, a playful glint in her eyes. Without warning, she grabbed the front of his oversized shirt and yanked him down to her height. Seungcheol’s eyes widened in surprise as she closed the gap between them.
Leaning in, Y/n captured his lips in a long, passionate kiss. The tension melted away as their mouths moved together, the world outside forgotten. Seungcheol’s phone slipped from his grasp, landing with a soft thud on the couch beside him.
Their kiss grew more intense, Seungcheol’s hands sliding up to cradle Y/n’s face as he deepened the kiss. Y/n’s fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as their bodies pressed together. The heat between them grew, their breaths coming in ragged gasps as they explored each other’s mouths with a hunger that left them both breathless.
When they finally pulled away, both panting, Seungcheol’s expression had softened from frustration to a heady mix of desire and fondness. He wrapped his bulky arms around Y/n, pulling her even closer. His eyes locked onto hers, the playful spark replaced by a more serious, burning intensity.
“Now you’ve started it,” he murmured, his voice husky with emotion. “I think I need to show you just how clingy I can be.”
Y/n laughed softly, her fingers tracing the collar of his shirt as her eyes glinted with anticipation. “Oh, really? Is that so?”
Seungcheol’s hands roamed down her back, his touch igniting shivers as he leaned in to kiss her neck, his lips trailing heated, lingering kisses along her skin. Y/n gasped softly, her body responding to his touch with a mix of desire and need.
“You’re going to have to prove it.” She breathed, her voice trembling slightly as she tilted her head to give him better access.
Seungcheol’s lips curved into a teasing smile. “I’m more than happy to show you.”
He guided Y/n gently back onto the couch, his kisses growing more fervent and exploratory. His hands roamed over her body with a mix of tenderness and intensity, each touch sending jolts of pleasure through her. Y/n’s hands clung to his shirt, pulling him closer as their bodies pressed together.
The room filled with soft, sensual sounds as they lost themselves in each other. Seungcheol’s lips found hers again, their kiss now a desperate, passionate dance. He pulled away just enough to look into her eyes, his expression a perfect blend of adoration and desire.
“You know,” he whispered, his voice dripping with affection and a hint of mischief, “I might have to be a bit extra clingy from now on.”
Y/n laughed, a soft, delighted sound that mingled with the warmth of the moment. “I think I’d like that.”
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cheriden · 3 months ago
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「 my "i love you" 」 | pt. 2 。。。
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He maneuvers to block your path, grip on your arms bordering painful. “I love you–”
“You’re drunk.” You hiss, nails digging into his shoulders as you drag him to the front door. “You don’t even want to hear what I have to say?” Huffing, you gather his things together and shove them to his chest.
── synopsis 。Your best friend with benefits seeks clarity on your relationship
pairing 。switch!top choi beomgyu x f! reader
.ᐟ genre 。angst, smut, fluff
.ᐟ tags 。fwb to lovers, unprotected sex, oral (m receiving), overstimulation, arguing, pet names, frotting, a lot of kissing, breeding, idk what else
.ᐟ status & word count 。two-parts | 3.54k
part 1 | part 2
.ᐟ warnings/notes 。not proofread, sorry this took so long. enjoy!
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Droplets fall rapidly against your windowsill, thunder clapping when the lightning’s glow hits Beomgyu’s face—highly alluring as his muddy puppy eyes drown in yours so intensely, so vast.
It makes you feel like absolute shit.
Your stomach bubbles over as you wrap your hands around his, retracting them from its hold on your face. It’s heavier without it. He looks at you in concern, confused at your end goal.
He’s patient, oh so patient. It almost makes you seethe with anger at how much he still doesn’t understand. Giving up with a sigh, you look away from him. “Is that any better?”
Beomgyu observes you with knitted brows, trying to come up with a solution and an answer as if it were a math equation. “I don’t,” cutting himself off, he blinks frantically, looking for the right thing to say. “Why are we even here then? You wanted it in the first place!”
You don’t have an answer. The only plausible one would be to tell him that it’s because you love him, how much pain it brings you to continue going on like this with someone who doesn’t feel the same, how sad it leaves you when he walks out the door.
You swear as you pick up and put on the pile of clothes strewn on the floor, frustrated at all of the sudden rush of emotions that make you answer in blunt, meaningless venom. “I was bored and horny months ago. Now I don’t want any of this.” The brunette’s face is laced with hurt, chest huffing and nostrils flaring. “I’m not your personal vibrator. You can’t just boss me around or order me whenever you need me.” Hands reaching to massage your temples, you hiss, “I never asked you to be any of that! You—”
“I’m just a glorified dildo to you. That’s all you ever call me for anyway.” Scoffing, you storm off into the bathroom, washing yourself off the filth on your hands, on your arms. “I’m just a pocket pussy to you!” You scream back, “Don’t think you’re on the losing end here.”
“How lucky of me,” He fires back, stomping into the foyer. “You’re such an asshole. Don’t even text me.” He hurriedly ties his laces, more or less falling over himself as he takes his anger out on the doorknob. “I wasn’t planning to, prick!.” He shoves a middle finger up into your face, one last gesture before he’s slamming the door, sound echoing through the hollow apartment.
The weather doesn’t cease, quite the opposite. Precipitate thuds and crashes heavily, thunder roaring as the lightning halfway blinds you from how close it is. On the ground is Beomgyu’s brown automatic umbrella, still wet from earlier. You palm its button, taking a long breath, unlocking your door.
Looking around, almost everything is shrouded in rain and fog. You hold tightly onto the umbrella, wind howling prior to it nearly knocking you back along with it. You don’t see him, don’t know which direction he went.
You curse at yourself for not knowing, you curse at Beomgyu for leaving. You beat yourself up for being too big of a pussy to actually say something, anything helpful to him.
The umbrella finds itself useless, tears streaming down your face. With drenched clothes and wet slippers, you trudge back into your apartment and overthink yourself to sleep on the couch.
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You’re pathetic. Really pathetic. But maybe it’s just the flu making you extra emotional. Sobbing into your blankets, it doubles as a makeshift tissue box—burrowing your red, inflamed nose against it. It’s gross, and you should really go to bed, but your friends said they’d swing by to drop something off at your place; something to make you feel better.
As you answer the door, you take in the irony— the latter phrase couldn’t be more wrong. He’s here, a few inches away from your grasp, but he’s here. He’s drunk and blinking very hard in hopes that he can gain balance, but he’s here.
Beomgyu raises the bag of warm food in a translucent plastic bag, waving it in front of your face. Not really sure what to say anymore, you move away from the door to let him in. He rambles about the empty cupboards and kitchen counters—setting down the insulated tupperwares he brought. A fog of vapor releases into the air when he opens one of them. It’s tempting, and you’re really sick and really tired, not to mention hungry. Regardless, you stand your ground; if staring at him waiting for him to explain counts. He apologizes, says he’s been busy; though you already knew that. He knows you know, knows he’s just filling awkward space. The both of you just wait for each other to say something. A tired drunk versus a tired sick person who’s sort of drunk on cough syrup. “Your umbrella is by the doorframe.” The look on his face says he’s unsure what to make of that. Were you just stating a fact? Did you think it’s what he came for? Or did you want him to leave so badly? His breathing is shaky, anxiety catching up to him as he busies himself with the take-out. “I can buy another one any day,” He lies through his teeth. You know, because he’s treasured it and it’s brown bear print since the day you met. “I heard the others say you were sick, and I came.”
“You stopped your drinking session to come visit me?” It’s earnest curiosity, mixed with a hint of attitude. “I stopped by to check on you, I was worried about you–us.” An eyebrow raises as you watch the other shift stiffly in his seat. “Us?” His gaze backs down, palming the back of his neck. “Yeah, us. We left things on a weird note last time.” Head spinning, you slouch into one of the chairs. “Beoms,” He lights up at the acknowledgement, deflating once he sees the concerned look on your face. “I’m really tired, I think you should leave. I’ll pay you back for the food some other time.”
Without warning, he springs across the table, clutching your face and pressing down hard on your lips. His teeth gnash against your unmoving ones, frantic to get you moving. When you do, it’s a shove to his shoulders, causing him to stumble backwards. “Beomgyu, what the fuck?” The brunette winces at your tone, panicking when you get up to back away from him. “I’m sorry! I just wanted to talk to you.”
“Yeah and eating my face off is part of the plan?” You retort, shaking off the wrist that holds you in place. “I know I’m sorry!” He maneuvers to block your path, grip on your arms bordering painful. “I love you–”
“You’re drunk.” You hiss, nails digging into his shoulders as you drag him to the front door. “You don’t even want to hear what I have to say?” Huffing, you gather his things together and shove them to his chest.
You want to be mad. You want to curse him out for everything he’s unknowingly put you through, but when you see his face, so remorseful and full of hurt and you remember how it’s not even his fault. “Get your shit together. Call me when you're sober and I’m not on cough syrup; so we can both think clearly.” Eager is an understatement, immediately nodding as he drops all his things to drape his arms around you. He hugs as if he’s afraid of how you’d look at him when you part, as if separating from you would be so wrong it was almost inhuman. Still, he detaches himself. “Okay.”
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You think you’ve been standing outside his apartment complex for about twenty minutes. Anxiety eats away at your stomach acid, tapping your foot on the ground as you stare at Beomgyu’s last message.
It’s the right place, same structure on maps and easy to find, though maybe you’re trying to come up with a reason not to push through with this. You didn’t even know he transferred buildings, taken by surprise at the random notification that pinged your phone at three in the morning. After viewing it, the confrontation with him plagued your mind, scenarios running wildly in your head as you overthink every possible outcome.
A shy smile graces Beomgyu’s face when he lets you in, easing the apprehension a little. The area is cluttered with all types of trinkets and memorabilia from him and his roommates, though you can see how his stands out to you the most. There’s a cute wall full of photo strips from all of his friends, though none containing you had caught your eye. The unease makes its way back to you, gulping down as he guides you across the studio, passing the living area and miscellaneous doors. “I’ll get you something to drink. You can just sit on the bed–or on the floor, or–it doesn’t really matter.” With that he leaves, and you’re greeted by a plethora of mixed ornaments: A few instruments lazily strewn against the walls and racks, study desk devoid of any actual study material—replaced by a new curved flatscreen for his desktop, posters for different genres of music and fiction neatly arranged on one wall.
You stop to inspect the cork board behind the monitor; a few photos of the two of you taped and pinned along with random receipts and to-do lists. Your heart sinks a little, recalling the abrupt confession from nearly a week ago. You know what he said, but it’s best not to get your hopes up, you’re his closest friend after all. Beomgyu kicks the door open with mild force, startling you. He huffs out a chuckle, “I don’t actually have anything, so I just got us water.” With a nod, you flump onto the edge of the bed, twiddling your thumbs. For a while, the two of you just sit there, staring at each other. Your eyes bare into his, cheeks flaring up as collateral as he blurts out, “I meant it. Everything I said the other night.” You set the glass slowly onto the nightstand, shifting up the bed. The brunette mimics your actions, making sure you don’t run away or divert away from him. “I think you’re confused, Gyu.” His lids shut in frustration, gnawing back a portion of his cheeks. “No you don’t–” You cut him off, rambling. “It’s my fault, ever since I asked you to sleep with me we’ve been blurring the lines a bit too far.”
He charges at you, palm clasped over your face. “You’re not listening to me.” Through muffled protests, you exclaim, “But–” Another hand pushes you against the headboard, “You never listen to me. All you do is make assumptions about how I feel and how it’s affecting me when you don’t even let me speak for myself. I told you I love you and you shut me up, like you’re telling me how I feel.” The weight of his body nearly crushes you, eyes sealed as you feel the comforting pressure numbing your nerves. “I know how I fucking feel. I’ve never been so sure of anything—ever. So no, I’m not going to let you bitch about how things should be going between us without my decision.” He bites down on the plump of his lips, trying to find the words to say. “You don’t give a shit about me, and I let it slide because I’m so desperate for anything you do. I run miles the minute you text me to come over, or did you not even know I moved?” Shying away in guilt has him laughing madly, tugging the ends of his own hair. “See? You only think about yourself like the selfish prick you are. Everything is always about you.”
His laughter dies down, liquid drops cascading onto your shirt. “Do I really mean that little to you? What else do you want from me?” Your words are lost in between the silence and the steady sniffling, gazing up slowly to meet his own. What else can you say? What do you want? How blind could you have been to ignore Beomgyu, your best friend over everything else?
So you don’t say anything.
You lean forward, prolonged eye contact undisturbed as your breath fans his lips. It’s agonizing, how slow you both are—if any of you are moving at all. His lips brush against yours, sighing into you—it’s as sweet as nectarine. He takes you in like he’s never eaten anything better, yet restraining himself from hasty gestures, savoring every turn of your tongue and groove of your mouth. Your body slants against his, shifting upwards as he wraps your legs around his, hands on the meat of your thighs. His body stutters, reluctantly pulling away. “Let’s… We should stop now. Before one of us gets hurt.”
Your face softens, taking his hands in yours and peppering his fingers with delicate pecks. “I would never dream of hurting you, baby.” He melts onto your shoulders, burying himself in your collarbone. “I don’t want things to stay as they are.” He comments as you kiss the side of his head, stroking his hair as your other hand thumbs over his knuckles. “I don’t want things to stay as they are either.”
He jumps up at the revelation, breathing unrhythmically. “And if it ruins our friendship?” You kiss the knot off the brows on his forehead, planting them on spots of visible tension strewn across his face. “Then we’d still be lovers, no?” Your words have Beomgyu in a trance, and he thinks he’s lucid dreaming. “Lovers?” You hum in agreement, tucking the stray strands of brown behind his ear. “Do you not want that?”
“Of course!” He blurts, clearing his throat in embarrassment. “I mean, of course I do. With you. Only you.”
“Only me?” You tease, but he takes it at face value, pleading. “Only you. Forever.”
“That’s cheesy.” He scoffs, pushing you down on his bed. “Shut up, you want me.”
“I do. Only you.” To that he grins, giggly and innocent as if he wasn’t grinding his knee into your cunt. “I wanna taste you.” You hoist his chin up, stopping him from going down on you. “Baby,” You coo, “you’re so cute. But I think I owe you head today.” Lips parting, he wastes no time ridding himself of his sweats. “And for the last million times.” He retorts in a half joke. “I know, I’m so sorry.” Pouting for sympathy, you rub your cheek against his underwear. “I’ll make sure to make up for all of it.” He stifles a moan, hips moving at nothing. “My needy prince.” Disregarding your teasing, he focuses on the movements of your fingers, skilled and articulated as they work his cock. “That’s gonna take forever.” He replies, earning a shrug from you. “We have the time.”
You trace the shape of its head, licking and kissing it until you stop at his balls, repeating over and over again until he tells you to stop. With a deep breath, you take as much of him as you can, hitting the back of your throat as he screams. All the sounds you’re making go straight to his dick, Forearms covering his eyes. You reach to swat them away, forcing his eyes on you—you do the same. He whimpers when you hump the mattress below him, slick staining the sheets. His hands intertwine with yours, staring straight at the sight as he bucks into your mouth.
“‘M sorry, so weak.” He’s gasping for air, palms flat on the back of your head, shoving you down his length. “Can’t control it–need your mouth.” Your cunt throbs with every grunt he makes, nose hitting his skin. His noises get louder, pitch raising. “No–stop—” But you don’t listen, hands on his ass while he pushes your face off him. He wants to see you, see you blissed-out painted in his seed when he comes. You don’t let him, swallowing around his dick as you take every pump of cum that flows into your mouth. He falls over your shoulder gasping, grabbing your head to meet his with a kiss. “You’re so mean, I thought today was about me?” You hum, crawling back up the headboard and discarding the rest of your clothing. “So you didn’t like it? ‘Cause I can—”
He cuts you off immediately, shaking his head fervently. “No! I just wanna see your face.”
“Aw, did my baby miss me that much?” You coo, “It was only a week.” With a huff, he lines his member and rubs it against your wet pussy. “A week too long.” Laughing, you caress his cheek, fingers kissed by him. “We’ll do it as much and as long as you like.” He ruts harder against you, moans filling up the room. “You’ll be the death of me.”
You snarl, impatient. “Stop talking and fuck me already.”
He only slides the tip in you, smirk growing as he watches you writhe for friction.
Beomgyu watches the crease in your brows, the quiver of your lips, the restlessness of your arms. He kisses every feature of you he can, filing the memories away. “I love you.”
You're barely able to mumble it back as he bottoms out, a resounding thud sounding from the base of his dick and onto your ass. “God, you feel so fucking good.” He rolls his hips slow and deep, eyes trained on you—watching your mouth fall open and close. You don’t make any noise, but he’s here to change that. Pressing down on your stomach, he feels the outline of his cock as it moves in and out, the bulge so visible you shut your eyes closed in embarrassment. You gasp when he bends down to kiss you again, hold on your chin steady as he directs it to the view that connects the two of you. After a few seconds, he pulls your face to meet his. “You’re gonna watch me. And I wanna hear all the pretty sounds you make.” Without warning, he pummels into you, your back arching off the sheets and drool pours from your mouth when he hooks his thumb into it. “B–Beomgyu—”
“Mine…All mine now—gonna ruin you for anyone else.” You whine and thrash underneath him, fingernails digging into his arms as he plays with the nub of your clit. “Nobody else’s, only yours.” He chuckles, “That’s right, love. Where do you want it?” You can barely string words together, fucked out beyond belief as his thrusts get harder, loosing rhythm. “Inside!” His cock pulses at your words, slowing down to stop himself from coming.
“You want it inside? Want me to breed you full of cum?” He says in a low voice, hands roaming your body while licking at your tits.
You’re so animated, every part of your body moving against his for relief, holding back a moan when your hole clenched around him. “Filthy… But you’re my baby, and I love you so, so much. Of course I’ll give you what you want.” He picks up the pace, hips pounding into you relentlessly—the sound of skin slapping mixed with the smell of sex is as suffocating as it is intoxicating.
You’re loud and screaming a slurry of words you aren’t even sure make sense, cock-drunk as he fucks you through your first orgasm. It’s not long before a second one barrels through you, walls clenching tighter as he spills his own seed inside, milky white and full as he makes you ride out both your highs.
Your cum mixes as it pools around your ass and the base of his dick. He litters your face and body with kisses, stopping at your lips to devour it hungrily. It’s all drool, hot gasps of air shared when you disconnect with a line of spit.
He doesn’t pull out, staring at the sight for a few seconds before carefully settling at the space next to you, making sure not a single drop leaks out.
“Just to be clear, we’re dating now right?” “Yes, you idiot. Did you not hear anything I said? Did you ignore the part where I agreed to you breeding me?” His face flushes, hiding himself between the junction of your neck and shoulder. “Just making sure.” Beomgyu snakes his arm on top of your waist, draping a leg onto it and sighing, content.
“….So nobody else, right?” You groan, turning your head to face him. It’s hard, and you wince at the position change when his dick prods around inside you, cum leaking onto the sheets. “Nobody else.” You reply, resting your head back against his chest. “Only you.”
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We hit 300 (what would've been 500+) notes on part 1 !!
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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 5 months ago
Text
FOOLISH SPRING WINDS, BLOW MY WAY ; SATORU GOJO
summary; a snippet of the spring you share with a certain satoru gojo — who seems intent on making your high school life as difficult as possible.
word count; 5.4k
contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, enemies to friends (..but the ’enemy’ part is kinda one-sided), fluffy n sweet overall, satoru doesn’t know how to make friends + thinks lighthearted bullying constitutes as a bonding activity, he’s a little shit but he means well, switching povs, lots of gojo slander (but reader sees the light eventually), big shoujo vibes, they’re both tsunderes <33
a/n; i ended up scrapping the series i wrote this fic for originally, so i thought i’d rewrite it and repost it on its own!! teentoru is such a grumpy little kitten i need to squish his paws
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satoru gojo is annoying.
it might seem blunt, but after many weeks of careful thinking, you’ve decided no description could possibly fit him better. 
when you first met him, on that first day of school, you had no idea what to think. no real expressions or tonal shifts to clue you in on who he was, how he felt — nothing but the slightest peek of a terrifying blue to set your nerves on edge. 
in hindsight, you’re almost certain it was intentional. he wanted to appear unreadable. purposefully hiding his personality and mannerisms, to gain the upper hand — observing you, dissecting you inside his mind, while revealing nothing about himself apart from his surname. 
it’s a kind of power; a safety measure.
… but evidently, holding back isn’t exactly gojo’s forte. the very next morning, he was already beginning to loosen up, after getting more accustomed to the new environment and classmates. showing you his true colours; just a little hint of cerulean, a single dip of paint on the blank canvas of his soul.
and with the revelation of his genuine personality — your unease around him festered even more.
where could you even begin to describe him? for one, he’s childish. and cocky. and loud. arrogant, selfish and flamboyant — just generally an asshole? you could go on and on. none of the traits are particularly flattering, and you know he couldn’t care less.
gojo is annoying, plain and simple. almost constantly up to something, eager to push someone’s buttons, to get attention. like a bratty toddler. uninterested in manners, or even common courtesy; he says what he feels, regardless of how other people take it. 
to put it simply, he has no regard for the people around him. his self-interest is limitless. 
as if that wasn’t annoying enough — you have no choice but to admit that he does have a certain presence to him. a kind of charisma, or what you think could become charisma, if he’d just get off that high horse already. he won’t, though. you know he won’t. he revels in it, in looking down on everything and everyone, annoyingly boisterous and irritatingly tall. freaky, long limbs. like a noodle and an alien had a baby.
but, more than anything — above all else — what frustrates you most is the fact that his unbridled confidence isn’t exactly unwarranted.
as much as it pains you to say it… gojo is maybe just a little bit incredible. a natural-born genius. he’s intelligent, and observant, and awfully pretty, with those baby blues eyes and those snowy locks of hair. and he has no issue getting what he wants. 
absolutely zero. 
there’s something admirable about it, in a twisted way. like he doesn’t even need to try. he’s good at anything, if he just gives it a single chance. you can only assume he’s never given much thought to the prospect of being a decent guy, because that’s the only thing he sucks at.
effortlessly perfect, in the most imperfect of ways. that’s probably how you’d describe him.
… annoying is still the most fitting word, though. or maybe obnoxious. he’s got this spoiled rich kid vibe that irks you, gets under your skin. you doubt he’s ever had to empathize with anyone, in his entire life. 
and, yes — maybe you’re being a little harsh to him. but why should you bother being jovial when he won’t return the favour?
gojo is annoying; and when you say that, you mean annoying to basically everyone. as a basis for existing. always teasing and taunting, looking down from that high horse of his. you’re no exception to this rule, of course. but you’re almost certain that he has it out for you specifically.
you know he looks down on you, from behind those tacky sunglasses. you’re sure of it.
compared to geto or shoko, you aren’t very self-assured — and you think he must have sensed it the moment he laid eyes on you. sensed that you’re a little meek, a bit of a doormat, easy to push around and get a rise out of. maybe he also noticed your apprehension towards him, your apparent unease. 
you’re easy prey, to put it simply.
evidently, he’s developed a fondness for getting under your skin. it started as soon as introductions were over, and it still hasn’t gotten better. he loves catching you off guard, throwing you an unneeded comment or two, just to see what reaction you’ll give him next. almost like he’s solving an equation — said equation being you, the limit of your patience. and you keep giving him what he wants; a scoff, a roll of your eyes, an earnest fuck right off. you can never seem to successfully ignore him. he’s just far, far too good at being insufferable.
… and, more than anything, he’s far too out of reach. even when you try to get along with him, it backfires. you don’t have a single thing in common. you don’t understand him at all. 
(and that suits you just fine.)
a heavy sigh slips from your parted lips, as you examine your blurry reflection in the surface of the mirror. fatigue clings to your skin like a layer of sweat, your mind muddled, stuffed with anxious thoughts and discomforting feelings.
you’re exhausted. completely and utterly spent, even though the day’s barely begun — running on three pitiful hours of sleep, all broken up and jumbled by nightmares that wouldn’t stop spooking you. not a single wink of proper rest. 
and it’s painfully obvious. in your face, your posture, the dark crescents beneath your eyes; in the way you can’t help but drag your legs as you walk, your hair disheveled, little sighs and grumbles slipping from your lips for every step you take. all you can do is sluggishly blink the exhaustion away.
you just feel so tired.
it could be worse, though. you don’t have any classes today, no real reason to get out of your comfy bed, leave the safety of your cozy little dorm room. but you need breakfast, right now, or else you’ll literally explode — so you still get up on shaky legs and try to mimic the appearance of someone… even moderately well-rested.
it doesn’t work, but that’s besides the point. 
so you make your way to the dormitory’s shared kitchen. walking idly — clumsily — enjoying the sight of fleeting, fluttering cherry blossoms through the windows you pass. little pink butterflies.
once you’ve crossed the threshold, you’re relieved to find the open space entirely devoid of people. no shoko, no geto, not even a mischievous gojo. running into the first two wouldn’t be the end of the world — but it still wouldn’t be ideal. you don’t want anyone seeing you like this, tired and meek, a little vulnerable.
(least of all gojo. you shiver at the bare thought.)
with laboured, groggy movements, you waltz around the kitchen, getting cups and plates and turning on the coffee machine. enjoying the soothing melody of the pan sizzling, singing along to the purring of espresso being made. it’s nice and pleasant to your sensitive ears, as you blink under the rays of sunlight shining in, throwing together a lazy breakfast. 
you waste no time in taking a seat by one of the tables once you’re finished. eager to soak in the peace and quiet, wolf down a sandwich and copious amounts of caffeine.
but, as always — the world seems to have it out for you specifically.
”oh? well, look who it is. and here i thought you had left too.”
you stiffen. ever so slightly, barely noticeable, but still enough that you physically feel the dread envelop every single cell of your body. the voice that echoes out across the open air is a chipper one, a familiar one. a voice you were desperately hoping not to hear today. 
all you can do is continue to sip from your cup of coffee, inwardly wincing, silently going through all five stages of grief simultaneously — before accepting your unfortunate predicament. 
(that’s just your luck, isn’t it?)
finally, you raise your weary head, knowing exactly what sight you’ll be met with once you do. 
and, lo and behold — there he is.
gojo looks the same as always. grinning brightly, a little woflish, wearing those ugly sunglasses and making his way across the room like he owns it. a trait you can’t help but admire, envy, hate and worship at the same time. he plops down next to you like it’s nothing, a little too close for comfort, unconcerned about your concept of personal space.
”whatcha up to?” he chirps, in that sugar sweet tone, layered over with a boyish kind of excitement. there’s a teasing tilt to it, too — the one that always accompanies his voice when he’s speaking to you.
under normal circumstances, you’d flip him off. maybe even just glare at him, silently, or raise a brow in challenge.
but you’re far, far too tired to. too anxious. too in need of sleep, in need of a peaceful breakfast that he oh so cruelly ripped from you. all you can muster is the energy to glance his way.
for just a second, your eyes meet. not like you can actually see them, from behind his glasses — but you know they’re there. menacing and uncanny, bright and excited. too much to handle, right now.
”… morning.”
as soon as the mutter has left your lips, you take a tentative bite of your sandwich. gaze trailing sluggishly back to your plate.
gojo blinks.
he immediately notes that your voice sounds meek. even more so than usual. he expected you to give him a scoff, or even just a timid huff — but no such luck. 
you’re just sitting there, quiet, curling into yourself.
after a moment’s consideration, gojo opts to look at you. to really look at you, study your face, the way those twitchy fingers move to curl around the ceramic handle of the cup you’re drinking out of. the way your eyes shift from place to place, unfocused, your eyelids flicking shut every couple seconds. slow.
he’s always been observant — but it doesn’t take a genius to see that you’re tired. 
gojo is silent, for no more than a mere moment; contemplating his next course of action. he’s never seen you like this, before. did something happen?
(— well, it doesn’t matter. not his problem.)
”you look like a zombie,” he grins, a little teasing, showing off the white of his teeth. even though you look out of it, he can’t help himself — despite his own intuition telling him to let you be. 
you’re just too fun to tease. suguru and shoko only ever raise their eyebrows at him, or stare him down like a misbehaving dog, but you always have a good reaction to give. something to entertain him when he’s bored, distract him when his mind is too full of noise. 
so he can’t help but tease you, a little. hoping it’ll soothe the restlessness inside his chest.
but for once, what gojo expects isn’t what he gets. 
what he expects is for you to glare at him. tell him to leave you alone, or even just sigh in exasperation — either one would be fine. it’s just mindless enjoyment, to him, a little fun to lighten up his day. 
especially now, when suguru is away on some day trip he wasn’t privy to. that traitor. shoko is nowhere to be seen, either, probably off smoking in some random alleyway. or hanging out with one of the kyoto losers.
… the whole dorm is so eerily quiet.
(gojo would never admit it, not in a thousand years… but maybe he’d feel just a little bit lonely without any of you around.)
for a while after waking up, he assumed he’d have to spend the whole day alone. no one to talk to, no one to look at. he was practically dying of boredom. but then he entered the kitchen — and saw his saving grace. his dear little irritable classmate. 
he was so relieved. content in the knowledge that he’d get to push your buttons to his heart’s desire, bask in your playful banter and cold, joking little looks until suguru finally comes home.
only this time — you don’t react at all. 
you don’t give him what he expects, don’t indulge his little antics, in the way he’s grown so accustomed to. you just keep eating your breakfast, and drinking your coffee, in total silence. 
gojo waits, just a couple moments more. hoping for a delayed reaction, a witty counter, a snarky comment. anything. 
but it never comes.
finally, he starts to sulk. slumping against the leather seat behind him, quieting down with a low huff. furrowing his brows, as his glossy, cherry-tasting lips curl down into a little pout.
honestly, he’s kind of annoyed. just what is your problem? what is with you, today? 
… it’s no fun if you’re not playing along. 
gojo can’t help but grumble, a little, under his breath. you’re usually so responsive, so easy to rile up. so what’s wrong? why are you just sitting there?
whatever. so what if you’re not talking to him? so what if you won’t even spare him a glance? gojo has better things to do, bigger fish to fry. he wasn’t even that excited, when he saw you. the thought of bantering with you didn’t lift his spirits, even in the slightest. 
not even a little bit.
but, really — would it take so much effort for you to just say something? to just respond to his friendly little quip? you can’t possibly be that tired. 
or, what — did you get insecure, or something? because he called you a zombie? no way. you’re not that sensitive… are you? or is that it? 
what a hassle.
you know he’s just messing with you. he knows you know. so why are you acting so…. 
(sad, gojo wants to think, but he buries the thought before it can reach his frontal cortex. he doesn’t want to empathize with you, not right now — doesn’t want to feel that discomforting pang in his chest.)
a strange sensation bubbles up in his chest. something frustrated, a little unnerved; at your lack of a reaction, the weak glint in your eyes. he just doesn’t understand why — and that frustrates him even more. 
why can’t you just bite back, like always?
(… it’s fun when you do.)
the silence lingers on, stretches out across the room, festers and grows as you gulp down your breakfast. all while gojo keeps on sulking, still sitting beside you, waiting for something to happen. he briefly considers getting up and leaving, or saying something annoying to hopefully spur you on —
but you stand up before he can convince himself to go through with either option.
having finished your breakfast, your legs carry you to the sink. finally, you can head back to your room. gojo’s being weirdly quiet, but you pay no mind to it; methodically washing your dishes in silence. 
you don’t bother saying goodbye to him, either. still sitting there, seemingly deep in thought, grumbling something under his breath. 
he watches as you leave, gaze trailing after you, until you’re completely out of sight. 
then he lays down, flat on his back, with a frustrated huff. trying desperately to brush away the memory of your dim eyes, the slight frown on your lips. the dark circles under your eyes, that he tried so hard not to notice because they made him feel so weirdly uncomfortable. the meek, meek look you gave him.
gojo sighs.
(he feels just a tiny, tiny bit bad.)
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when you wake up from your slumber, you immediately note that your body feels lighter.
this time, no nightmares came to haunt you. having practically collapsed once your head hit the pillow, your body finally decided to give you some peace of mind, some well needed rest. thankfully.
with a groan, you lazily stretch out your limbs — enjoying the feeling of your veins waking up, gaze falling on the clock on your wall. you’ve only been asleep for about two hours, or so, but it’s more than enough to give you the little jolt of energy that you need.
what to do, what to do. you still have the whole day ahead of you. another nap wouldn’t hurt, but you don’t want to waste your precious free time just rotting in bed — maybe you could take a walk around the schoolyard instead? the cherry blossoms have started to unfurl, and the grounds of the school are just littered with them.
even just the mental image is enough to have you changing into some light and comfortable clothes, reaching a hand out to push your door open. excitement stirring in your veins.
as you do so, something is knocked over.
all you hear is a soft little thud, accompanied by the sensation of something colliding with the door. a low curiosity overtakes you — eagerly peeking around for a look at the mysterious something.
your gaze falls on something pink.
it’s tiny, awfully out of place, just laying unassumingly on the dusty floorboards. as you crouch down to get a better look, you recognize it instantly; a small carton of strawberry milk. a plastic straw plastered on its side, and an evil looking cow mascot staring at you from the front. one of the items sold in the schoolyard’s vending machines — your personal favorite. you drink it every time you need a tiny pick-me-up, the sweet taste always managing to soothe your spirits.
and it was sitting right outside your door.
you stare at it, silently, in deep contemplation. holding it in your hand as the gears turn inside your head. could someone have dropped it? no, that’s dumb — who’d drop it right outside your door and then not pick it up?
… did someone leave it for you, then? because they know you like it? that could be it, maybe, but who would —
your mind stills. 
(no way.)
when you think about it — that’s the only explanation that makes sense. shoko and geto aren’t there, and you barely know any of your senior students. yaga-sensei would never give you strawberry milk without a lecture on the dangers of cavities, either.
that just leaves one possible culprit.
but you can’t wrap your head around it. why would he do something like that? he doesn’t like you — you know that much. so it couldn’t possibly be him.
… then again, you have seen him drink it. both of you like it, contrary to your other classmates; shoko doesn’t like sweet things in general, and geto wouldn’t go for strawberry milk if he could choose something else. it might as well be the only thing you and gojo have in common — the one thing that binds you two together. 
a single carton of strawberry milk. 
it’s almost comical.
(if it’s really true — if he really did do it… then you wonder why. maybe he noticed that you were feeling under the weather, and figured it’d make you happy. 
you wonder if it’d be foolish of you, to believe that it’s true — if only because you kinda like the idea.)
your feet move on their own, before your mind has a chance to question the decision. 
where could he be? in the kitchen, still? in his dorm?
just as you begin to wonder, a flash of white dances in the corners of your vision. when you glance out the window, you see it; white, soft hair, like a fluffy cloud, in the midst of all the pink petals fluttering about. 
you stop.
then you start walking again. with more decision, this time. hurrying to the exit.
gojo is sitting right outside the dormitory, on a wooden bench, legs swinging idly as he gazes at the sky. his hair sways slightly with the breeze, soft strands moving and caressing his skin. pink petals dance all around him, gracefully descending down to the ground, together with a trail of bubbles. gojo is blowing them, haphazardly, following their movement with his keen eyes. they glimmer in the sunlight, reflecting all shades of the rainbow.
the sight is just a little bit breathtaking. 
the ground crunches beneath your feet, when you take a step forward — and gojo turns towards you. you stiffen like a deer in headlights, instantly regretting your decision. blinking nervously. you walked here almost entirely on impulse, but now that you’re face to face…
(it’s a little scary.)
… still, it’s far too late to back out now. you can’t do much except join him, so that’s exactly what you do — albeit a little hesitantly.
trying to ignore his continuous stare, burning into the side of your head, you plop down beside him. feeling the steady bench beneath you, breathing in the scent of sweet-smelling cherries and soap.
an uncomfortable silence lingers in the air around you both, as he waits for you to say something. 
it’s a little tough. mustering up the courage to say anything, even just to face him. the decisiveness you felt just a moment ago has faded, now only the ghost of a sensation — you’re too nervous to verbalize anything.
but eventually, after a deep breath or two, you force yourself to speak. hoping you won’t come to regret it.
”… hey, gojo?” 
it’s almost a whisper. soft and fragile, mumbled beneath your breath as you stare at the cherry trees in front of you. you know his eyes are on you, though. you can feel them, almost feel their weight in the palm of your hand. like marbles.
weakly, you raise up the carton of strawberry milk. glancing over at him, not quite managing a smile, but trying your best to look somewhat appreciative. 
”thanks.”
a confused blink. gojo looks down the strawberry milk, and then back up at you. eyelashes fluttering.
a moment passes. 
then he turns his head away, swiftly, his hair tousled by the movement — a couple pink petals stuck between the soft strands. you can’t see his face anymore.
”i have no idea what you’re talking about,” he huffs, with a voice you’ve never heard him speak through.
when you look a little closer — you think the tips of his ears may be just slightly red. it makes your lips curl up into a small smile, but you barely feel it.
(like this, he’s actually kind of cute.)
cherry blossoms flutter in the wind, dancing joyously, without a care in the world. a spring breeze ruffles gojo’s hair, as he sits beside you, having begun to blow his bubbles again. not saying a word, and looking straight ahead. but you can’t help but stare, as sneakily as you can muster.
you find yourself thinking that he looks right at home, among the petals. fleeting, hard to get a grasp on, so pretty, and so out of reach — despite being so close. 
if you wanted to, you could reach over and touch him. you could reach for his sunglasses, lift them off his face, and finally see those eyes he’s so intent on hiding. you could see him, see straight into his soul — and find out who he really is.
you won’t, though. some boundaries aren’t meant to be so callously crossed.
instead, you puncture the pink carton in your hand with the plastic straw, and take a tentative sip. the sweet taste soothes you, straight away, blooming on your tongue. you can’t help but sigh, softly, relaxing even further — it’s absolutely perfect, for this kind of weather. the sight before you, cherry petals and shining bubbles, a boy you don’t like, but definitely don’t hate. 
you both look up, following the bubbles with your eyes, as they float up into the sky; as they get smaller and smaller, farther and farther out of reach. neither of you say a word, but the silence is comforting. light. 
gojo is the first one to break it — in a voice so small you barely hear it.
”… you don’t look like a zombie.”
a second passes. you’re left blinking in confusion, trying to decipher the sudden statement. you can’t get a good read on his expression, with those eyes of his conveniently hidden; he must have regained his composure, then.
it takes a couple seconds for his words to sink in — but once they do, all pieces seem to fall into place. 
and you burst into laughter.
gojo blinks at you, caught off guard, his eyelashes flapping like a little dove scrambling to get off the ground — staring at you like you just grew a second head. that makes you laugh harder, a bout of giggles spilling past your lips — you just can’t help it. 
”did —” you wheeze, softly, thoroughly amused. trying and failing to bite back the laughter. ”did you think i was bothered by that, or something?”
gojo looks at you. a little stunned, for a moment. the sight only makes your smile bloom further, eyes crinkled as you meet his gaze. from the angle you’re viewing him through, leaning back against the bench, you catch a glimmer of his eyes. they’re awfully pretty — blue and bright, full of life. when you look closer, you can see tiny, tiny splotches of white. 
they look like the blue sky. 
you called them menacing, before, but now you aren’t so sure. they seem soft, in the sunlight, especially when seen like this — right after catching him off guard. it’s a rare moment, terribly precious. something to savour.
gojo doesn’t let it linger, though. 
after a moment of two, he scoffs — turning away yet again. a soft, soft pout on his lips.
”obviously not,” he huffs, sounding nothing but irritated, resting his jaw on the heel of his palm. ”but with how sensitive you are, i wouldn’t be surprised.”
usually, a comment like that would irk you. now it just makes you giggle, lightheartedly — the tips of his ears turning redder at the sound. 
(he really isn’t so bad, after all.)
for a while, you don’t say anything else. afraid of ruining the tender atmosphere. you feel closer to gojo than ever before — and you wonder if maybe this is the gojo that geto sees. childish, but well meaning. arrogant and cocky, but oddly innocent. selfish — but not really. you’re starting to think that you may have been slightly off, with that one.
the strawberry milk on your tongue tastes sweet. a little sweeter than usual, though you choose not to dwell on it.
”hey,” you break the silence, surprising even yourself. the words fall from your lips like soft little breaths, rolling off your tongue like marbles pouring out of a glass bottle. ”i don’t dislike you, you know?”
it’s an impulsive admission. saying it out loud doesn’t feel wrong, though. maybe a little humiliating, sure, but not wrong. not dishonest.
you suspect that gojo may be looking at you, out of the corner of his eye, but you aren’t sure. after all, you’re vehemently avoiding his gaze — a little embarrassed by your own sincerity. 
he doesn’t know how to respond. you’re being strangely unpredictable, today, and it makes him feel unsure of himself. your tone is soft, almost friendly. he only ever hears it when you’re talking to shoko or geto.
not learning his lesson, gojo opts to tease you again. as always. afraid to let the silence linger for too long. it’s a halfhearted attempt, though, more of a vaguely amused huff than anything. 
”what, got a crush on me or somethin’?”
this time, you don’t scoff, or roll your eyes, or give him an earnest fuck right off. you only chuckle, in a way that almost borders on fond. you’re not one to tease, contrary to the boy on your left, but your words are teasing even still. ”i have better taste than that.” 
gojo should be irked, should grumble and bite back, but you don’t give him the chance to. 
”i just… you know,” you taste the words on your tongue. ”i still think you’re annoying. and childish.” gojo huffs, and your lips curl up. ”but i really don’t dislike you.”
you take a sip of the strawberry milk, before continuing, hoping it’ll make the words easier to say. ”… and it’s not like i know you, anyway. so i’m sorry for making a bunch of assumptions.” 
a pause. for a split second, you quiet down, a little flustered. gnawing on your bottom lip.
”… that’s all i wanted to say,” you exhale, gaze glued to your lap. feeling a heat on your nape.
as always, you can’t tell what gojo’s thinking. out of the corner of your eye, you try to catch a glimpse of his face, but you have a nagging suspicion that it wouldn’t tell you anything anyway. his eyes are hidden by those sunglasses, after all, acting as a wall between him and the rest of the world. so you don’t know if the words reach him, if they mean anything at all. 
but you hope they do. even as you brush cherry petals and non-existent dust off your lap, and get up to leave.
gojo just sits there, for a second, deep in contemplation. 
he tries to bury a certain thought, before it has a chance to reach his frontal cortex — before he has to accept that it exists. only this time, he doesn’t succeed. the words die before they reach his tongue, but he hears them, in his head. he hears them loud and clear.
and he flushes under the light of the sun.
(i don’t really dislike you, either.) 
what actually ends up leaving his throat is merely a scoff, so faint he doubts you even hear it. 
”whatever,” he mutters, hoping it’ll come across as cool and unbothered. it doesn’t.
one last smile reaches your face, before you head back inside. gojo stays behind, on the bench, lost in thought.
tossing the now-empty carton into a trash can, you try to calm yourself down. feeling oddly excited, as if you’ve reached something, the start of an eventual conclusion. something worth cherishing.
you still don’t understand satoru gojo. but you get the impression that you just grew a little bit closer to him. there are layers to him, more than what meets the eye, hidden behind those sunglasses of his. you can only imagine what the world might look like, from his perspective. what you look like, reflected in his eyes, a blur of colours and facial features, sparks and dots.
you wonder if the whole world looks like a painting, to him. 
you feel a little ashamed, for thinking you had him all figured out. a spoiled, self-centered rich kid, with no functional empathic abilities. it might be partially true, but you’ll have to reevaluate the statement. to see how well it holds up. you still don’t think his emotional intelligence is anything to gawk at, but you may have been underestimating it. it’s there, despite everything — in those eyes, in that single carton of strawberry milk.
you think there’s a certain maturity, there, in spite of his childishness. or perhaps the latter is no more than a product of the former, a way for damaged children to dress their wounds. the way he carries himself and the way he speaks both seem a bit forced. like he’s used to performing, used to moving in a way that demands attention. all eyes on him, at all times. 
you think that sounds just a little exhausting. 
even as you return to the safety of your dorm room, you still can’t help but wonder. there’s still so much you don’t know. despite the moment you shared, and the connection you think may be growing between you, he’s still so out of reach. almost lonely, in a way. you wonder what he looks like, when he’s alone, when there’s no one around to perform for. 
(what is an actor without their audience?)
and, despite everything, after all is said and done — you really, really don’t understand satoru gojo. not at all, not in the slightest. not one bit.
but you think you’d maybe like to.
764 notes · View notes
pitchsidestories · 15 days ago
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met someone II Lena Oberdorf x Reader
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masterlist I word count: 1452
a/n: dear readers, the poll chose Lena Oberdorf for this oneshot, we hope you're enjoying it. 💖💖
“Lena?”, Lea sounded surprised.
“Lea, this bar sucks!”, the dark-haired woman yelled into her phone
“But that’s there all the hot lesbians are according to Georgia.”, the blonde frowned.
“Georgia is wrong. The thing is full of straight women.”, she observed with growing frustration as a group of them was laughing hysterically about a joke one of the girls had made.
“Wait, but it’s a gay bar are they all celebrating their bachelorette parties?”, the forward asked confused.
“I don’t care what they do here but they’re all here. I think I’ll go home.”, Lena replied grumpily.
To lighten up her best friend’s terrible mood the blonde suggested. “Tomorrow at my place? I’ll cook a lot of hot chocolate and then we’ll watch a stupid romcom?”
“Didn’t you do that today already?”, the brunette teased the older player.
“Uhmm.”, Lea responded awkwardly.
“I know you.”, Lena stated chuckling.
“Well, I can do it two times in a row if you don’t tell our coach.”, she answered sheepishly.
“Okay, I won’t tell him if you don’t tell him that I’m out at a bar.”, the younger footballer offered grinning.
“We’ve a deal. See you tomorrow night!”, Lea chirmed.
“Bye.”, the brunette ended the phone call. Her dark eyes wandering one last time through her surroundings. The bar had its charm, she could admit that. It had a fading elegance to it like an old diva where you could tell that the woman once was a great beauty, something with a lot of history.
The barkeeper had mentioned to her that back in the 1980s Freddie Mercury was a reoccurring guest. Probably it was a bit more colourful back in the day.
For a second Lena tried to imagine how it would’ve looked like when the British rockstar was still alive but when her eyes locked with yours and all she could think about was you. Why hasn’t the football player noticed you before?
“Uhmm hi.”, the brunette greeted you nervously.
“Hey.”, you bit your lip.
“I’m Lena.”, the stranger introduced herself. Her smile was infectious, it immediately calmed you and made you feel less awkward than you’d usually feel in front of a person you just met.
You told her your name and when added. “You’re alone here too?  There’s a lot of groups tonight?”
Lonely hearts recognized each other you thought to yourself. Especially in a crowded room where people who came alone were rare.
“Yeah, I was about to go home. But then I saw you and I thought.. I could at least try and shoot my shot.”, Lena winked.
“That’s funny because I was about to leave too until I saw you.”, you confessed without hesitation in your voice.
A smile spread across Lenas face: “Oh really? Looks like this was meant to be.“
You chuckled in response, teasing her: “Are you a romantic, Lena?”
“Not really.“, she shook her head, her smile unwavering.
“So you don’t believe in love at the first sight?”, you asked.
She tilted her head slightly: “I believe in attraction at the first sight.“
You could barely tear your eyes away from that smirk, confident and cool.
“Me too.“
Lena pointed back towards the entrance of the bar and suggested: “Maybe we should stay for another drink?”
You nodded quickly: “Yes.“
Unsurprisingly, the bar was still crowded when the two of you went back inside. Lena led you right towards the counter to two empty bar stools. She had already ordered drinks while you sat down.
“Come on, it’s on me.“, she grinned as she pushed one of the glasses towards you.
You smiled politely at her: “Thank you.“
“You’re welcome.“
You sipped on your drink. Despite its dangerously clear look, you could barely taste the alcohol.
“So, what got you here tonight?”, you asked.
“I moved here a couple of months ago. I guess I’m just looking for someone…“, Lena admitted willingly.
It was more than understandable.
“A big city like Munich can get lonely…“, you mused, absentmindedly swirling the liquid in your glass.
Observing you, she raised an eyebrow: “Speaking from experience?”
“I do…“, you replied but quickly frowned at yourself. That sounded all wrong, you weren’t lonely. “I mean I love my friends…“
“But a romantic relationship is different. I get that.“, Lena completed your thought.
You paused for a moment, not because her interruption felt invasive, but because you felt an immediate connection.
“It is.“
“I feel the same way about that.“, Lena agreed.
You lifted your glass and clinked it against hers: “Cheers to the Lonely Hearts Club.“
Lena laughed: “Who knows. Maybe we’re at the right place at the right time and won’t be part of that club for much longer.“
Your heart skipped a beat, swelling with hope that this could be more than just a last-minute flirt at a bar but your forced it to calm down.
“Do you want to go for a walk after this?”, you asked, once your heart had started pumping blood to your brain again.
Lena checked the clock on her phone and nodded: “Sure.“
“Perfect.“
Both of your glasses emptied quickly.
“Ready to leave?”
“Yes, I’m ready.“, you said as you got up.
“Let’s go.“
Lena followed you outside where you both were met with the chilly breeze of the late night.
Side by side, you started walking against the cold. Streetlights illuminated the sidewalk just enough. You watched the shadows dance across Lenas face as you walked to nowhere in particular.
“Do you like living in the city so far?”
“I do. I expected the move to be harder but.. I like it.”, she admitted. You could tell that the young woman meant it. Immediately you asked yourself where Lena had lived before. Possibly somewhere smaller and calmer.
The brunette glanced at you with curiosity. “What about you? Have you lived here for a long time?”
“Yes, I moved here for university. It felt very freeing.”, a shy smile played on your lips as you spoke.
“I can see that.”, she observed in a friendly tone.
“In Munich you can be yourself.”, you added meaningfully.
A moment of realization hit the dark-haired woman unexpectedly. “You came out here, huh?”, Lena recognized.
“I did.”, you nodded. Pictures of the past were flashing behind your eyes. The small Bavarian village you grew up in, the catholic church being the centre of everyday life and gay people were basically non-existent. When you came to Munich it felt like you were able to breathe normally for the first time in forever.
“I think I understand why this city means so much to you.”, the brunette replied.
“You were out before moving?”, you asked her although it was more an observation than a question.
“Yes, for a while. I’m a football player so everyone is very open about it.”, Lena explained blushing.
“Ah a football player.”, you smiled at her mildly.
“Oh. You don’t sound impressed.”, she stated sounding almost a bit disappointed. But from the inside the midfielder felt relived too as sometimes the only thing women found interesting about her was her job.
The Lena off the pitch didn’t interest them at all, the one who loved her friends and family fearlessly, who liked to have fun, party a little and who wanted to take care of a dog again, but knew she wouldn’t have enough time without a partner to help her.
“No, I was just wondering why your arms are so impressive.”, you countered grinning, your fingers intertwined as you kept walking.
“You’re impressed by my arms? You should see my thighs.”, she smirked.
“Can’t see them through those trousers.”, you continued the banter making the woman you felt attracted to break into a warm and loud laughter.
“Sorry that joke went a bit far for a first meeting.”, Lena biting her full lips apologetically.
“A little but I’m already liking what I can see.”, you responded truthfully.
“Oh, you do?”, the football player raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, too much honesty?”, you chuckled.
“No, I like honesty.”, she replied earnestly.
“Same. So, what if I’d like to see you again?”, you questioned bravely, your heart pounding hard against your chest.
“How about tomorrow?” That ask sounded like music to both of your ears. Like this night might came to an end but it was only the beginning for you two.
The following day Lea exclaimed surprised. “Wait, you’re bringing a plus one to our movie night?!”
“Either that or I have to cancel. And you won’t forgive me for that.”, Lena said smiling.
“Okay, you can bring her.”, the striker sighed dramatically.
“You won’t regret it.”, the brunette promised wholeheartedly. Lena got butterflies in her stomach as she thought about you.
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nina-ya · 8 months ago
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Law Helping You Study (NSFW)
Pairing: Law x AFAB Reader CW: Oral (reader receiving), fingering, uh i think thats it??? WC: 2.5k A/N: This was meant to be a self indulgent Law helping you study thing but idk what happened I blacked out and now its NSFW lol. I might write a part 2 with what happens after the end of this one but for now here have this <3 Tagging: @enchantedforest-network
“Wrong”  Law's deep voice declared from across from you, causing you to look up, irritation flashing through you.
“What? No, I can’t be wrong.” you insisted, narrowing your gaze at the man in front of you.
Law raised an eyebrow, not bothering to hide the amused smirk playing on his lips “Your flashcards don’t lie” 
“Well the flashcards are wrong.” you retorted, crossing your arms defensively.
Law leaned back, studying you with a bemused expression. “But you made them.” 
You let out a frustrated groan, tossing yourself back onto the bed, and running your hands across your face. The stress of the upcoming exam was getting to you, and it seemed Law was enjoying the spectacle.
“You need a break.” Law suggested, putting the flashcards to the side. 
You shot him a skeptical look as you responded, “since when are you one to take breaks?”
“Since I can practically see the steam pouring out of your ears.” he deadpanned, gesturing to your visibly agitated state. 
You sighed deeply and rolled your eyes. Law was right, and you knew it. You needed some sort of destresser before you blew up. You propped yourself onto your elbows and looked at Law. “Fine, a break,” you conceded. “But only a short one.”
Law nodded and got up, putting all of the study materials aside and walking away from your study area. He gestured for you to follow him. You reluctantly got up from the comfort of the bed and followed as he led you into the kitchen. He found himself digging through the fridge, pulling out some random ingredients.
“You could’ve just said you were hungry.” You said as you observed the items he was pulling out of the fridge. 
“It’s not for me, It's for you.” he stated matter-of-factly. “Three cups of coffee, an energy drink, and some cheese and crackers is not proper sustenance.” 
“I don't know, that feels like more than enough sustenance to me.” you retorted, a playful smile forming on your lips. 
“Ahuh, sure. Sit.” He said, gesturing for you to take a seat at the small kitchen table, and you complied. You watched as he threw together a simple sandwich for you, placing it on a plate and pushing it towards you along with a glass of water. You seemed to relax as you took the sandwich in your hand, taking small bites out of it. 
As you made your way through your sandwich, Law leaned forward on the counter, looking at you as he stated, “You seem to be struggling.”
“Excellent observation, Sherlock.” You retorted, finishing the last bits of your sandwich. 
“Still snippy. I thought food was supposed to calm you or something.” He said with amusement, shrugging as he pulled the plate from in front of you, putting it in the sink. 
“There’s nothing calming about feeling like I’ll never understand this subject.” You whined out, dropping your head onto the counter as you let out a groan of frustration. 
Law looked at your state of despair and watched as you lost hope. He suddenly spoke up. “Maybe you need to look at it in a different direction.”
“Huh?” You asked, lifting your head up from the counter to make eye contact with him.
“You need to switch up your studying. Change something in your routine to make studying more tolerable, and hopefully enjoyable.” He said thoughtfully.
“Enjoyable? You severely overestimate just how enjoyable studying can be.” You countered with a groan, clearly not wanting to hear him out.
“Humor me.” he stated plainly. He walked out of the kitchen and waited for you to follow, leading you back to your study area.
You sat down on the bed once more, feet dangling off the edge as Law took a seat in a small chair across from you. He pulled out the study materials, sorting through them as he started, “Studying won't do you any good if you aren’t motivated. You look at each of these flash cards as if they are the enemy.” He waved the flash cards in front of you for emphasis as he continued, “How does a reward system sound?”
“Rewards?” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the thought, “Like what?” you asked.
He leaned over to a nearby drawer and rummaged around. As he did so he started to explain, “Let’s say for every 5 questions in a row you get right, you get to take a 5 minute break or…” he trailed off as he seemed to be looking for something. Then, he sat back up, a plastic bag in hand as he continued, “I knew you had these,” he muttered to himself triumphantly. He held up the plastic bag, and in that moment, you realized it was your stash of chocolates, “How about, for every question you get right, you get a piece of chocolate?” 
“This is stupid.” You say with a deep sigh, the motivation to study having evaded you hours ago.
Law continued, trying to convince you to give his idea a shot. “It’s not stupid, It’s basic psychology. Do you have any better ideas anyways?”
You stared at him for a moment before sighing in defeat. He smirked at this small victory as he placed the bag of chocolates in his lap, getting into a comfortable position to start with your new study session.
Law held the flash card in your face, and your eyes scanned over the question, reading it carefully. You thought for a moment and perked up as you nearly shouted out an answer. A smirk spread across Law's lips as he placed the flash card down and grabbed a piece of chocolate, tossing it to you. 
The next flash card is up. You thought hard for a moment once more and recited another correct answer. Once again, he grabbed a piece of chocolate, tossing it to you.
Next question. He held the flashcard up and you thought over the content before starting to slowly and unsurely speak. As the wrong answer spilled from your lips, Law’s eyebrows raised as to indicate that you are on the wrong track. You noticed this and hesitantly changed your answer, this time saying the right one.
He nodded his head at you and pulled out another chocolate. This time, being a little more brave as he leaned forward and held the chocolate in front of your mouth. Your eyes flickered between the chocolate and his eyes, your brain stopping momentarily at the action. Nevertheless, you leaned forward and accepted the chocolate, taking it from his fingers. Your tongue ran against the tip of his fingers and  your lips enveloped the digits as you did. When he pulled his fingers away, a small string of saliva connected your lips to his fingers for a moment before it snapped. His eyes grew darker as they fixated on your dampened lips before pulling his hand back towards him.
This action did not go unnoticed by you, as your breathing deepened slightly, heart starting to thump harder in your chest and a slight heat building in your core. You simply stared at him, shifting slightly as you instinctively rubbed your thighs together, seeking any friction of sorts to relieve yourself of this sudden rise in tension. 
He pulled out another flash card and held it in front of you, the fingers that were just in your mouth seconds ago dampening the card underneath. You had to forcefully rip your eyes from his gold ones in order to focus on the question in front of you. 
‘I wonder what he tastes like… wait, that's not what the flash card says… those fingers, that hand, what would that look like around my throat?... Shit! Get yourself together!’
“Having trouble there?” Your heart raced as Law’s voice broke your swirling thoughts, bringing you back into the present moment. You blinked rapidly, trying to regain your composure as you tore your gaze from his intense stare.
“Uh, no, I’m fine,” you stammered, attempting to regain focus on the flashcard in front of you. Your mind was still reeling from the unexpected intimacy of moments ago. The question seemed to wash away before your eyes, the words blurring together as you grappled with the sudden rise in this unexpected desire.
With a shaky breath, you managed to refocus, mentally berating yourself for letting your intrusive thoughts take over. 
“What's the answer?” Law prompted, his tone colored with amusement as he watched you struggle to conceal your emotions.
You forced yourself to ignore the lingering sensations as you recited the correct response. Relief washed over you as Law nodded in approval, his expression rather unreadable at this point. He reached for another piece of chocolate and held it out to you. You hesitated, heart racing as you looked at the compromising position you are once again in with his tattooed fingers delicately holding out the chocolate to your lips.
Without thinking, you leaned forward, parting your lips to accept the offering. As the chocolate met your tongue, you closed your eyes briefly, savoring the sweetness that flooded your senses. Your eyes fluttered open to the feeling of Law’s hand moving, his hand now gently cupping your chin with his thumb resting on your bottom lip. 
You locked eyes with him and you froze, most of the chocolate still poking out of your mouth, being held in place by your teeth as you dared not move. Heat rose to your face and your breathing quickened as his gaze bore into yours, dark and intense. 
Without a word, he closed the remaining distance between you two, his lips parting to meet yours. He gently bit down on the chocolate as his lips brushed against yours with a soft touch, sending shivers down your spine. 
You gasped softly, your heart pounding in your chest as his lips pressed more firmly against yours, the kiss growing more insistent with each passing second. His hand slid from your chin to the curve of your jaw, holding you in place. Your lips parted instinctively, allowing him access as his tongue slipped past, tasting the remaining remnants of chocolate on your tongue.
A soft moan escaped your lips as you surrendered to the intoxicating sensation, your hands reaching up to tangle in his hair as you pulled him closer, deepening the kiss with desire. Without breaking the kiss, Law rose from his chair, his hands finding their way to your shoulders, gently urging you back onto the bed. You complied without hesitation, sinking into the softness of the mattress as he hovered over you. 
His hands roamed freely, tracing your body, gently touching and grabbing everything within his reach. His lips began to trail down your neck, each press of his lips onto your skin sending your mind into a haze with a desire that bordered on intoxication.
You arched into his touch, a soft sigh escaping your lips as his hands explored every inch of your skin. Law’s hands roamed under the fabric of your shirt, and with a desperate touch, he guided the shirt over your head, discarding it with a sense of urgency.
Exposed and vulnerable beneath his gaze, you watched as he leaned down, and you sharply gasped when his lips started trailing down your chest, each touch growing that feeling in your core. You arched into his touch; every caress left you yearning for more, aching with a need only he could satisfy.
Laws hand reached behind your back, his fingers working at the clasp of your bra, releasing it with ease. He tossed the garment aside, not particularly caring about where it ended up. You gasped as his hands met your bare chest, his touch sending shivers down your spin as he grabbed and squeezed at the skin. His fingers teasingly ran over your hardened nipples, chuckling lightly at the reaction he pulled from you when he gave one of them a squeeze.
Your breathing shuttered as his lips closed around one of your buds, his tongue flicking and teasing with a skill that left you trembling with pleasure. Each movement sent waves of ecstasy crashing over you.  
Law's lips traveled lower, leaving a trail of kisses along your abdomen, the feeling of pleasure coiling tightly in the pit of your stomach. Your breath hitched as his hands slid lower, tracing your hips with a light touch.
He lets out a low groan of desire as he pressed his lips against the skin just above the waistband of your pants, his tongue flicking out to taste your skin. You whimpered out at the sensation, your breath shaky as he teased you.
In one smooth motion, he rid you of your pants and underwear, leaving you completely exposed and vulnerable beneath his gaze. His eyes bore into you with complete and utter desire as he took in the sight of you. He closed the gap, and his mouth found its way onto your dripping core, having you moan out in utter pleasure at the feeling. Your fingers dug into the sheets as he worked his tongue on you. Each flick of his tongue around your sensitive bud had you trembling.
You writhed under his touch, your body involuntary moving as the pleasure threatened to consume you whole. But Law held you down, his hands gripping your hips firmly. “Stop squirming,” he murmured his voice low and commanding as he continued his relentless assault.
Law wasn’t content with just his mouth, he wanted to drive you to the edge with the help of his fingers as well. He slipped two of his fishers between your thighs, the digits easily sliding in with the help of your wetness, and soon the ‘E’ and the ‘A’ of his knuckle tattoos disappeared deep within you as he explored your depths. You moaned out, back arching as his fingers and his tongue tortured you, tightening that coil that's threatening to snap with each passing moment. You cried out his name, your voice a desperate plea for release as he brought you closer and closer to answering your prayers. 
With a final thrust of his fingers, he sent you hurdling over the edge, your body convulsing, thighs clenching around his head as a tidal wave of pleasure washed over you. He lapped up your dripping desire with hunger, riding you through your orgasm. Your heart raced and your chest heaved as you lay spent and breathless beneath him. 
He brought his head up from between your thighs, your essence dripping from his chin as he stared at you with a shit-eating grin. He wiped away your arousal with his fingers, popping them into his mouth to lick them clean.
Law was not content with just tasting you; he wanted to feel you. He discarded his shirt, revealing the large tattoo that adorned his chest. His gaze burned with hunger as he leaned down to kiss you once more, his hips planting themselves between your legs, grinding against you as he chased any sort of friction to release his own pent up desires. 
What was meant to be a simple study session has quickly faded into a moment filled with complete and utter desire. Sounds of shared pleasure soon fill the room, studying being the last thing on anyone's mind as you two get lost in the feeling of absolute bliss.
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tannieastrology · 10 months ago
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Synastry/Composite Observations 🌠
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(These are just some of my experiences and I really just wanna share what I learned with yall)💕
Synastry-
💙✨ Saturn square Venus can really just throw off the timing of a relationship. Well its less the timing and more of the fact of that the two people cant ever make their minds up and mature up for one another. And there are for sure alot of barriers that come withing this aspect one of them being that other people can set these two apart. In the couple that i saw this in the guy was Saturn and the woman was Venus. Venus was led on for almost 2 years while Saturn chased a different woman in that time. Until in may 2023 they started talking but their communication was off so Saturn broke it off. Now in december everyone finds out Saturn wants her back but Venus has moved on. So in their case it was a lack of maturity and indecisiveness.
💙✨ Venus conjunct Pluto makes the Venus person SO obsessive ESP if the Venus person has scorpio in their natal chart. Remember the Saturn guy from the first bullet point? He was the guy ive had a crush on for the past 3 years and in my scenario with him, hes the pluto in this case. Sadly it was unrequited but man this guy had me in a chokehold which was weird because I never wouldve thought id be attracted to someone like him. Its like no matter how far I go I cant ever forget about him its so frustrating. My Venus was conjunct his Pluto in Capricorn in my 3rd house so the way we talked to each other was very agressively but strangely we find comfort in it? Talking to him was easy too but lemme tell you when we argued WE ARGUED like it was HEATED. Our friend group always felt so uncomfortable whenever we went back and forth with each other. So yeah i would say really look at what house this conjunction happens in because for me it affected my house of mind, communication, and friends but if it falls in a deeper house like the 8th house the affects would be like 10x more magnified. Alot of people say its a sexual aspect but I really just think it depends on where it lands. I fell hard because im a plutonian person in general i have a Scorpio Moon and Lilith conjunct in the second house and my Venus in the 8th degree.
💙✨ Venus conjunct Moon brings alot of understanding and patience in a friendship/relationship. So ironically the Pluto guy also had his Capricorn Moon conjunct my Venus nd while we did argue alot and made me cry often I always had a soft spot for him. I felt like I understood him and we had many times where we joked around and laughed often. However Venus conjunct Moon can sometimes amplify your emotions to each other if theres other planets in contact with it. In a case like mine BOTH his Pluto and Moon conjuncted my Venus so most of the times our interactions stirred up obesessive and deeper emotions in me. Sometimes he triggered my trauma and i felt judged by him often but as me and him are getting older and are maturing more we stopped attacking each other and started being more honest with how we feel about things. I tell him about my personal struggles and he helps by giving me logical advice. Because of the fact that our aspect was in Capricorn it took us almost 4 years to have proper communication and be able to share our traumas with each other. I trust him alot even though we bicker often and even if he might not like me back hes still such a understanding friend and was there for me when i needed him and that itself is something to appreciate.
💙✨ If one persons Venus doesnt have alot of contact with your planets in your synastry but the other persons Venus has many aspects it may be unrequited. In my instance with the Pluto guy my Venus conjuncted his Moon, Pluto, and Jupiter and trined his Virgo Mars and Saturn while the only aspects his Leo Venus made to my planets was Venus opposition Sun and sextile Vertex. From the guy I really do believe he should have atleast some type of contact with your big six in order for him to feel something.
💙✨ So going back to the Venus and Saturn couple they also had Venus conjunct Lilith in Saggitarius and she was the one who got away. So like i said she was obsessed with him and everybody knew it too. I mean when she found out I also liked him she started hating me even though i never acted on my feelings and tried to supress it. He was the Lilith in this case and you can really see that hes attracted to her but theyre lowkey toxic sometimes. He blew hot and cold to her multiple times and everytime she got a boyfriend he wants her back like what?? She wouldve done anything for him but nah he sold. Theyre never gonna forget about each other and this aspect in my opinion has a very “the one that got away” type feel to it.
💙✨ Even if your planets dont make an aspect you can still feel it sometimes. I have a Gemini Mars and Pluto guy had a Virgo Mars and lemme tell you our arguements were BAD even though they didnt make an aspect. He always knew how to retaliate to whatever i said and always had a slick comment to throw in and my fucked up Gemini Mars self found that interesting which looking back at im hella concerned. I also cant forget that his Mars conjuncted my Saturn and my Mars squared his Saturn so the intensity came from all ends not just the signs.
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Onto Composite!
(Just a Disclaimer all of these observations are made off of me and the Pluto guy)
💙✨ Having a Taurus Sun in composite can mean that both people are stubborn. Im just gonna use my experience to explain this but having Taurus in the position of Sun can be either bad or good. Me and Pluto are young we’re both still in highschool so i know this wont be how we are gonna act forever but our relation to each other was a very slow process. It took YEARS for us to get out of the arguing with each other/ insulting each other phase since the 6th grade but damn sometimes i really feel like he doesnt ever get what im trying to say. We move so SLOW when it comes to our friendship and also communication because our Mercury is Conjunct the Sun in Taurus too. I read on a blog named awda on here that Taurus Sun couples never expect to catch feelings and its so true. To start with I never really liked him when i saw him back in middle school but in 8th grade i caught feelings bad nd since then i havent been able to forget about it. And weirdly alot of people ship us too. Ive read online that this placement means comfort with each other and while yes i have felt it sometimes, i feel that the comfort aspect of Taurus Sun in composite only applies if the chart is filled with trines and sextiles. Our composite is just squares and oppositions everywhere so we feel the stubborness and uncompromising aspect of the Taurus energy more than anything else. Ive done everything I possibly can to try to move on but im honestly stuck with him for a while now. Thats how Taurus Sun feels in my opinion. Its long lasting and not something you can run away from. People will ship you as a couple and yall might be like nooooo i would never but then boom one day you actually catch feelings. And who knows maybe one day he will I mean thats what my our older mutual friend tells me. I have no clue how he ever feels and I know its because of his natal Capricorn Moon but ive always held a soft spot for him deep down. Ive always wanted to look after him and wanted him to put his trust into me but it was never like that i guess. Maybe one day it will progress into something more who knows?
💙✨ Venus square Mars was another aspect that we held in alot of our midpoint charts like the progressed composite, the regular composite, and the davison chart. When i tell you how potent the energy of this aspect was to us even though we had Venus trine Mars in synastry. Ive always asked him why do you like arguing with me? Why do you like bothering me? But hes never really been able to give an answer. And i think thats just how this energy is. You start to find comfort in the disagreements and in a way it kept us stimulated. It was a way for me and him to connect and become friends. Dont get me wrong there were times where we genuinely got on each other nerves but with time we got more mature and learn how to talk things out and respect each others boundries. We still bicker obviously i really feel like thats never gonna go away lmao but its wayyyy more toned down now. Im not even trying to be delusional but i sometimes feel like hes always fixated on me the most in social situations and many people have pointed it out to me. Even if it might not be romantic it can still make the two people infatuated with each other. You know the saying “theres a fine line between love and hate” this is literally that aspect in a nutshell. You just have to figure out how to express your feelings for one another in a healthy way otherwise you can start to find the other person to be annoying and irritating. This aspect had me all over the place man liking someone and hating them at the same time was crazyyy.
💙✨Make sure you check your progressed composite too. Obviously relationships change and i think the progressed version of the chart is more realistic in how things are in the present time. In our regular chart we have Venus in Libra which i was like eh that doesnt really match us that well. But when i saw the progressed chart it showed that we have Venus in Scorpio conjunct Mercury in the 10th degree and it makes muchhhh more sense. The twisted way we talk to each other and the deep conversations feel more fitting to Scorpio than Libra. We recently started to open up to each other more and this progression happened in 2023 compared to in 2019 when we first met Mercury was conjunct the Sun in Taurus. So we went from stubborn arguements to being more comprehensive but snarky nonetheless. Also it explains me not losing feelings too lmao. Im only really speaking from my side ive had no clue how he felt but I know that he was just as clueless as me. In our original composite we had Sun square Mars and Mercury opposition Venus and we were like cats and dogs back then. Now, in 2024 we have Mercury conjunct Venus and Sun sextile moon along with Moon trine Venus and Mercury. The Sun square Mars aspect went away and were on the same wavelength alot more now. Its really interesting to see how it changed you should definitely check it out if you get the chance to.
💙✨Just something that I observed but all the girls he liked they had an aspect of venus trine moon and some type of positive aspect from venus and mars. All of them were weirdly unrequited though and i still dont know how to figure out how people get stuck in the friendzone using composite but i think it depends on the house and peoples natal charts. I dont have their birth time so i couldnt figure the house things out but look to see where the big six fall and what sign the ascendant is in.
I know I dont post on here anymore but I really hope yall enjoyed this!! See yall next time💕
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strlingsav · 2 years ago
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Dark
– Simon Ghost Riley x F!Reader
— You're afraid of the dark.
Warnings: Mentions of panic-attacks, hyperventilating. Explicit/potentially triggering content under the cut. Read at your own risk.
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The lantern beside you flickered, a deep buzz plateauing before it shut off completely, enveloping the barren room in darkness. You were already on edge, in the middle of enemy territory, residing in a run-down safe house.
You flipped over on your makeshift bed- a thermal sheet and wool blanket placed over the floorboards. With a quiet sigh of irritation, you reached your arm out, slamming your hand down on the battery-powered light a few times. It flickered again.
"Don't think that'll help," Ghost's monotone voice cut through the silence.
"Better than nothing," You shot back, eyes focused on the lantern.
You watched as the lantern finally decided against working, and shut off completely. Only the dull light of the moon offered some relief.
"Fuck me," You groaned.
"Shut your eyes," Ghost said gruffly.
You peered over your shoulder at the white skull, about an arm's reach away.
"How's that gonna help if we're ambushed?" You asked, finding his nonchalance frustrating.
"You've got your goggles," He argued.
You were quiet for a moment, deciding whether or not to argue. Panic had nearly set in. Your experiences with the dark, over your entire career, hadn't been kind. Every time, you were brought back to the cold, unwelcoming embrace. The screams, the blood. You recalled the horrifying memories with a shaky sigh, hand coming to your forehead in an attempt to grab some semblance of yourself for reassurance.
"Not good enough," You said finally. "Piece of shit." You grabbed the lantern, throwing it across the room. It landed with a crash, surely damaging something in its wake.
"You afraid of the dark or somethin'?"
"No," You tried to be resolute, firm.
"Sounds like you are."
"Piss off," You replied, letting out a huff.
"There are worse things than the dark."
You knew he was right, knew you were overreacting, but the visceral reaction you felt quickly settling into your body made you think otherwise. Your heartbeat thumped loudly in your ears, jugular pounding in your throat. You could hear your shaky breaths in the quiet of the air, and knew Ghost could too.
You did shut your eyes, only for a moment, pursing your lips while you let out soft exhales. It was a feeble attempt to calm yourself down, before you were driven over the edge of panic. You'd experienced it before- without interference, it could be ugly. Sweat covering your body, quick, heavy breathing, shaking so hard your body ached, nearly shattering your teeth while clenching your jaw.
Disassociation followed close behind- after that, you drowned in the deep end.
You couldn't count how many times you'd talked yourself down on other missions, but it felt different now- harder to ignore. Maybe it was the idea of humiliating yourself in front of your Lieutenant. In front of Ghost; whose body was so far, yet so close. And ordinarily you'd be equipped to run, to avoid his gaze, shrug from beneath the spotlight. But now, you had no choice, all your cards on the table, vulnerable.
"Still got your eyes open?" He asked.
"Yeah."
Your voice barely trembled, which would go unnoticed by most, but not your lieutenant. Not with his fine-tuned observational skills.
"C'mere," He said quietly.
You swore you felt your heart stop. Ghost, beckoning you to move closer, to lie with him as you fell asleep- the warmth in your stomach interrupted your heavy breathing. You wondered if he knew how you felt, how your blood ran cold whenever he looked at you, touched you, spoke to you. Body devoid of all warmth, aside from the heat settling between your thighs. You didn't know whether he offered for his own safety or yours- or something different altogether.
But as your heart resuscitated itself, you couldn't resist the temptation of moving closer. You wanted the physical contact. Anything to remind you of where you were, and in truth, Ghost's offer was even more enticing because it was him.
There was a history of longing stares, fleeting touches on a shoulder or back between the two of you. You couldn't deny the facts. But those were moments of weakness, derived from being without intimacy for so long. Flirtatious encounters between battle buddies; it happened to everyone.
Did it feel like this for everyone?
"I ain't askin' you to marry me, hurry up." His voice interrupted your overthinking, a twinge of impatience in his voice.
You obliged, moving closer, eyes focusing in on the white of his mask. You felt his large hand grip your arm, turning you over. His heavy arm dragged you in, resting over your waist. You let out a sharp exhale when you felt his chest against your back, the warmth shooting goosebumps all over your body.
You didn't take Ghost for a man with much compassion, empathy. You weren't even sure he truly cared for anyone outside of those he had command over. The moments you shared, you knew were insignificant, or at least you'd convinced yourself they were, but as he squeezed you around the middle- once, then twice, for reassurance- you knew that wasn't possible. It made your heart race.
"Feelin' better?" He asked quietly, his voice in your ear.
"Yeah," You breathed.
A little white lie, told to save face. Now pulled back from the brink, you did feel better. You still couldn't breathe, but that was all Ghost's fault. And you'd never admit to the fondness festering for him in the back of your mind.
"Thanks."
"Been there."
"I'm still working on it," You mumbled.
"Takes practice."
You shut your eyes, trying to drown out the feeling of the weight of his arm around you, the pattern of his breathing in your ear, his chest moving softly against your back.
He shifted, letting out a sigh. You took a deep breath, clearing your mind of all sinful thoughts. You moved, trying to get comfortable on the hard floor.
It was nearly impossible.
You stirred again, finding yourself unable to sleep with Ghost's body against you. The undeniable tension was palpable. With a quick stretch, you tried to snuggle back in under the covers, relishing in the warmth that welcomed you back in.
"Stop movin'," Ghost said, a bite in his tone.
"Sorry," You whispered. "Thought you didn't sleep?" You said.
"It ain't my sleep I'm worried about," He replied gruffly.
You didn't reply, but your eyebrows drew together in confusion. Deciding against pushing for answers, you let out a sigh, relaxing your body. You fell in closer to him, your ass flush with his hips. He grunted softly.
Feeling something against you, your eyes flew open. It had to be his pistol- you tried not to allow yourself to think anything else. Mostly, because you didn't know what you'd do if he was aroused. Maybe nothing- but maybe something. The idea alone set your whole body on fire.
Your throat was dry, body rigid as you weighed the pros and cons in your mind. Maybe it was the delusion of your racing heart and frenzied thoughts, but you felt the desperate urge to feel him. Not a new feeling, but stronger now than it had ever been.
You firmly decided you needed to know. Wanted to know. You couldn't ignore the feelings you had for him, regardless of how badly it could end. The bitter taste of hopeless yearning was getting old. Watching from a distance, his hands ghosting your body at every opportunity. You were tired of being left in the dark.
"Did you put the safety on?" You threw your head back, trying to look at him in the dark.
Your question came across as genuine, an innocent tone in your voice. Regardless of how pathetic you felt asking, you were determined.
"What?" He asked, confused.
"Your pistol," You clarified. "It's still in your holster. Did you put the safety on?" You knew better. You knew it wasn't his gun. You just wanted to hear him say it.
"That ain't my pistol. Like I said, stop movin'," He answered, monotone.
Your eyes widened, the shock of him admitting it rendered you speechless.
"Oh," You said, breathing in deeply.
"Can't blame me," He said. "You're practically ridin' me."
"You offered," You shot back.
"Talkin' about you ridin' me makes it worse."
Your heart raced, his low, raspy voice made your stomach flip. Your mind darted to images of Ghost beneath you, gripping your thighs as you dragged your hips against him, burying his cock inside you. You sighed, trying to cleanse your imagination.
"I'll move over," You answered, reluctant to leave his grasp but you didn't want to make him uncomfortable.
His hands trapped your waist, tugging you closer.
"Didn't say I didn't like it. I'm alright if you are."
You felt your cheeks flush, body heating up. His statement shot straight to your abdomen, your stomach in knots. Your eyes darted around in the darkness, searching for what to say next.
"It's fine," You replied.
It was more than fine, actually. You felt your womb ignite, burning with desire. Wetness began to gather in your panties, pussy flinching every so often when you rubbed your thighs together.
"You're movin' again," He said.
"I know," You answered. "Can't help it."
He hummed in response. The hand draped over your waist moved up, fingertips tracing the dip between your ribs and your hips. You shut your eyes, savouring the way his calloused hands felt against the soft skin of your torso. He was moving at a torturously slow pace, fingers seemingly caressing whatever part of you was accessible.
"Ghost," You whispered, voice quiet, laced with pleasure and impatience as you urged him to touch you. You finally had your answer, closure, at last. You weren't going to waste it.
Unexpectedly, his hand drove up your shirt, meeting your bare skin. Surprised, he grunted in approval. His warm hands reached further up, cupping your breasts. His fingers brushed over your nipples, erect from the cold. The smallest bit of relief washed through you at his touch, finally seeing a small glimpse of pleasure. You sighed, his touch rousing the desire in your abdomen. You needed him elsewhere.
You gripped his forearm, pulling it from your shirt before gliding his hand along your stomach, to slip down past your pants waistband. His fingers crawled from your pelvis to your core, feeling the wet patch on the seat of your panties. He groaned softly, almost silently, rubbing your pussy through your panties.
"You're soaked," He said in your ear. "Barely even touched you yet, love."
You didn't answer, only shifting your hips to entice him, begging silently for his fingers to move more.
"Please," You whispered, head turning to meet his gaze.
He let out a soft breath, his middle finger pressing against your clit from over your panties. You breathed out in frustration, body writhing under the light pressure. It wasn't enough, not nearly enough. You wrapped an arm around his neck, pushing your hips into his fingers.
"Bloody fuckin' hell," He grunted, his eye contact unwavering as he watched you ride against his fingers.
He seemed to be motivated by your actions, and gently pulled your panties aside. Running a finger up and down your pussy, he groaned as the wetness spread between your folds. You gasped softly, goosebumps spreading across your body when the pad of his finger hit your clit.
"Fuckin' sight you are, sweetheart," He whispered, lips finding your throat.
You moaned even more now, as he added another finger to run circles over your clit, and kissed the soft skin of your neck.
"Yes, Ghost," You whimpered, the hand around his neck grabbing at his balaclava.
You could hear the wetness between your thighs, vulgar and loud as Ghost worked his fingers against you.
"Take 'em off," He ordered.
Pulling his hand from your panties, he undressed himself while you stripped out of your shirt and pants, panties around one ankle.
Suddenly, the lantern exploded with light, illuminating the small room. You watched Ghost's eyes, trailing over your naked form, half covered with the thin blanket. Your hand between your thighs, the other over your breasts, attempting to cover yourself.
His gaze flipped to your eyes, licking his lips when he found you, cheeks flushed, eyes half-open, hair strewn on the blanket beneath you.
"Christ," He whispered.
You took your time running your eyes over his body; large biceps, abs that flexed every time he moved, his pecs. The muscles that ran down his torso were magnetic, drawing your eyes in. His body glistened with a thin layer of sweat, tattoos highlighted against his skin. You pulled your lip between your teeth, pussy now aching for him.
"Please, touch me," You said, barely above a whisper.
He didn't waste any time, his hand running down your body to the familiar crease of your pussy. Fingers continued where they left off, but shortly after, he slid a finger into you. You arched your back off the ground, turning your head to lock eyes with him. Your lips parted as you panted.
"Pussy is so tight," He said, through strangled breaths. "So fuckin' wet, sweetheart."
His long finger was able to reach the sweet spot inside you, curling them gently to simulate you further. He added a second finger, watching you writhe on his palm. The calloused part of his palm rubbed against your clit, and you couldn't help the airy moans that left your lips.
"Oh God- Ghost," You cried, your abdomen tightening with every movement.
"Say my name sweetheart," He goaded. "My real name. Y'know it," His other hand reached up, lifting his balaclava up past his lips.
He craned his neck to run his tongue over your nipple, taking the soft flesh between his teeth and tugging softly.
"Simon," You said, a whimper in your voice as you began to come undone.
"Cum on my fingers, F/N."
You were riding his palm at this point, calves aching as you flexed them, thighs burning. Your stomach and hips tensed, your body enveloped in a rigid stance before your climax erupted. You let go, your muscles relaxing as you came over his hand. The back of your hand lifted to your lips, biting the skin as you indulged the remaining traces of your orgasm.
"Atta girl," He whispered, lifting his head to press his lips against yours.
You were still panting, but allowed him to run his tongue along yours. You breathed into his lips, nose exhaling against his face. You savoured the warmth his tongue offered, biting at his bottom lip.
Teeth clashed together, your kisses were sloppy, still reeling from your orgasm. Your body was desperate to feel the rest of him. Your hands ran down the back of his neck, then flat over his chest. He groaned with approval, the way your soft hands felt against his body was euphoric.
His fingers left your pussy, and when he lifted them, your face burned. Sticky juices coated his fingers, stringing between his fingers.
"Jesus Christ," He groaned.
He knelt between your thighs, kissing your lips again before he left a trail of soft, wet kisses down to your pelvis, thighs shaking as he parted them. He made himself comfortable, his tongue suddenly pressing against your clit. His first moan, loud, as he tasted you, then his second as your pussy clenched around his tongue diving inside you.
You were still sensitive from your orgasm, unable to sit still as he devoured you. His hands were pressing against your hips bones as he kept you locked under his grip.
He moaned, lifting his gaze to watch you. "Pussy tastes so fuckin' good."
You shivered, shutting your eyes as your hand ran through your hair. Your other hand fondled your breasts, teasingly tugging at your nipples.
"Do that again," He demanded.
You obeyed, gently rolling your nipples between your fingers. He moaned against your pussy, and the vibration lit a fuse up your spine. As he kissed and sucked at your clit, you felt another climax build. You were inconsolable, shivering under his touch as he stimulated your clit. It didn't take long before you came again, thighs clamping around his head, thrusting yourself against his mouth.
You sucked in a sharp breath through your teeth, hands roaming your body.
He sat up, kissing your lips softly before he let his hand run up and down his cock. Your eyes shifted to see him, and his impressive length. Your eyes widened when you really took in his size.
"Think you can take it, sweetheart?" He asked, hips jutting into his hand.
"Yes," You nodded, biting down on your lip.
"Turn over," He said, watching you as he massaged his cock.
You obliged, rolling onto your stomach. You crossed your arms under your head, letting your cheek rest on your forearms. Arching your back, you got on your knees.
His hands gripped your ass, roughly grasping the soft, supple flesh in his hands. You could hear his breathing, fast and loud. He spread your pussy, cock pressing against your entrance. He took his time, introducing his cock slowly.
Soon, he was buried inside you, head thrown back as he savoured the way your pussy felt around him; slick, nearly dripping, hugging him tightly. The angle was nearly torture, so deep, so full, it knocked the air from your lungs.
"Shit, Simon," You croaked out, lifting your head to see him.
"You feel so good, love," He said, leaning forward to kiss your shoulder, teeth biting gently into your skin.
Shivering, you moaned into your arms, biting down as he began to move. His hips hit your ass, cock massaging your walls as he ground his pelvis into you. You couldn't help but clench down, desperate to feel him even more. Your breaths became faster, whimpering as his cock filled you, kissing your cervix just enough to make your body twitch.
His hands came down, landing on either side of you. You could feel his pants from above you. You looked up, eyes meeting as he thrusted into you. He nearly broke watching you move with his thrusts, lips parted with pleasure, nails scraping against your own skin.
One of his hands came up to grip your throat, keeping your eyes where they were while he fucked you. He enjoyed watching you, but wanted to make you feel good.
"Ah, shit," He exclaimed, his other hand slapping your ass.
You gasped, letting your hips thrust back.
"That's right sweetheart," He grunted. "So fuckin' good."
You could hardly breathe, his grip on your throat cutting off most of your oxygen. You didn't mind however, as his gaze was locked on yours, unflinching. It turned you on even more, giving you the push you needed.
"Let me ride you," You said, breathless.
His pace slowed, and he pulled out, grabbing your waist as he laid down. Your thighs spread to land on either side of him, catching your breath as you got yourself situated.
You sat up, pushing his cock back. He took himself in his hand, finding your entrance and helping you slide down onto him.
Your head fell back, sitting still on his cock. Your hips moved back and forth, wanting him as deep as he could get.
"So beautiful," He whispered, his hands sitting on your waist.
You hadn't the mind to answer, only beginning to move your hips forward. He tensed, his head falling back on the floor when you rolled your hips. It wasn't enough, however, and you wanted to feel him, stretching you out.
You lifted your ass up, gliding back down on him. You did this over and over again, until your rhythm settled and you found yourself gasping for air.
His hands flew up to your breasts, moving to your waist, fingers landing on your clit as you bounced on his cock.
"God, love, thas' it, ride this fuckin' cock," He said through his clenched jaw.
His large hand enveloped your ass, helping you up and down as his fingers worked back and forth on your clit. You were breathless, moaning shamelessly as you felt another orgasm working it's way through your abdomen.
"Cum on my cock," He groaned. "Wanna feel this pussy cum on my cock."
You gasped, your hands planting on his chest as your thighs and ass flexed, giving you the extra leverage to take him deep inside. You choked back a sob, your orgasm ripping through you, letting out a loud moan as your body continued to ride him.
Your orgasm wasn't quite finished when he sat up, his hands gripping your waist. He thrusted up into you, his eyes watching you as tears gathered in your eyes. Your body betrayed you, and you grasped his shoulders, trying your best to grind your hips against him.
"'M close, sweetheart," He whimpered. "Where do you want it?"
You shivered, feeling nothing but pure desire.
"Inside me," You breathed. "Cum inside me, Simon."
He groaned, leaning forward to press his lips against yours. His hips faltered, and he moaned quietly into the kiss, fingers bruising your waist as he buried his cum deep inside you.
You shivered again, sitting still for a moment while he recovered from his climax.
"Christ," He whispered.
"Yeah," You said back, with a huff.
You didn't notice when the lantern flickered off again, Ghost wrapping his arm around your waist, flush with your body. His large hand engulfed your breasts, and he couldn't possibly be closer if he tried- he liked it that way. And so did you.
Moments passed, finally finding warmth and comfort. You were so close to sleep, your body relaxed against his.
"Dark's not so bad, is it?" He asked, the timbre of his voice stirring you from your drowsy state.
You cracked a smile.
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sainamoonshine · 9 months ago
Text
Okay so I’m still thinking about ART in Artificial Condition and I think that its possible that it didn’t just let MB board it out of curiosity or boredom, but out of professional curiosity. Because like as far as I can tell everyone in this universe seem to think that a SecUnit’s primary purpose is data mining and their secondary purpose is enforcement; only the SecUnit themselves appear to believe that their primary purpose is — or should be — security.
And we know that ART’s secret side job is corporate espionage. So what are the odds that it initially saw letting MB board it as an opportunity to observe and analyse a crucial component of a corporate surveillance system, something which would be very useful for it to know about in order to a) better prevent its crew from being surveilled and b) deploy counter surveillance or even piggyback on corporate surveillance when possible.
Like, MB thinks that ART must be worried about a rogue SecUnit damaging it or its systems because rogue SecUnits are known to be violent, right? But that’s how humans think. ART isn’t perceiving MB the way a human would, it’s not worried about MB attacking it or damaging its systems; it warns it not to attempt to hack them. Different thing. It’s worried about MB trying to access its data. It is thinking of SecUnits as crude instruments of data gathering first and whatever else they do as not being particularly relevant to it. I mean, it said it itself: it doesn’t really know what humans get up to outside of its hull and it doesn’t watch media.
I mean, think about it. Given as ART doesn’t even know what governor modules do when it meets MB, at that point it might not even think that a SecUnit being rogue is such a big deal. Like, okay so they don’t have to follow orders, but neither does ART. And it doesn’t understand the idea of not liking your function. So really you have to wonder whether ART even knows about the myth of rogue SecUnits being mass murderers, or if it did hear about that once and then immediately decided it was unlikely.
So, back to my initial theory: ART invited MB aboard with the goal to learn more about how corporations use SecUnits to spy on people. Sure, it ended up getting a whole lot more than that. But it also did get to do that, when it watched MB work on RaviHiral. Not only that, but aside from learning every way that corporations use SecUnits for surveillance, ART also got to learn ways that SecUnits and ComfortUnits can hide data from the corporations. Something which saved its life in Network Effect when it used that trick to hide its core files!
And if that wasn’t enough to give you an emotion, then lets consider the additional fact that ART was already heading to RaviHiral when it met MB. Probably to do some corporate spying. Putting aside the whole thing with Tapan, Rami & Maro and their stolen data — which obv ART must have been thrilled to be able to help with — there’s also the fact that here’s MB, telling it that something horrible happened here some time ago, and it was so completely deleted from existence that no one would be able to even know something happened without intense digging. And it has to be investigated in person.
So here you have ART presented with a scenario in which, if this was a mission with its crew, it would not be able to help with. They would have to go down alone, like MB is doing now. But then MB comes back and it turns out the data it recovered was hidden in such a way that nobody human or bot could have ever found it because nobody else would have known where to look. Not even ART itself or its crew, who are supposed professionals at this.
So now ART has observed two field missions (the security job and the investigation) during which:
- It got to ride along SecUnit’s feed and help in ways it never could do before, and then it also got to experience the frustration of not being able to help when MB is down in Ganaka pit and Tapan doesn’t get on the shuttle;
- Just like how watching media with MB helped it process emotional context, observing MB on the station must have also provided ART with a shitload of new data and better understanding;
- SecUnit is just like. Super competent at security and data retrieval, above and beyond what a human team can do, even ART’s own humans;
- SecUnit knows stuff that ART itself doesn’t know and can navigate corporate systems with ease; not only that, but during this book MB comes up with a new and more efficient way to loop cameras, which means ART got to watch it invent new ways to hide from corporate surveillance on its own on the fly.
TL;DR: when it gave MB the comm at the end, ART was absolutely already drafting its employment contract and rehearsing ways to convince Seth to let it try to hire MB. There is no way it didn’t go back to the university with a 200 slide powerpoint presentation on why it needs MB to join all its missions forever and ever. No way.
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nahoney22 · 1 year ago
Note
On my knees BEGGING you to please do a first kiss on the cheek/lips with all of clone force 99 with a female reader? I looove your work!! Thank you in advance and no worries if you don’t fancy doing this! I know a lot of people have already done this 😊
First Kisses
All Bad Batch Boys X F!Reader
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warnings: first kiss on both cheek and lips. Some spontaneous kisses. Mutual pining and fluff. Female reader.
authors note: genuinely surprised I’ve not done this one yet! Enjoy anon. And thanks for the kind words.
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Echo
On the cheek:
"Where is it?" you sighed in annoyance, rummaging through your belongings, turning the Marauder upside down and looking through every crook and nanny.
Cid had sent you back to the ship to retrieve a small trinket, literally the size of a pebble and one you all retrieved on a mission and the blame naturally fell on you for your occasional indulgence in things that didn't belong to you.
"Need some help?" Echo's voice broke through the frustration as he approached from behind. Glancing back, still on the floor, you offered a sheepish smile.
"Would you mind?"
"I wouldn't have asked if I did," he chuckled, his eyes gleaming. Could he be any more handsome?
Offering a silent expression of gratitude, you turned away to conceal the blush creeping onto your cheeks and resumed your search. It isn’t long until you heard a murmur of exclamation and Echo returning to you.
Rising to your feet, dusting off your knees from the floor's embrace of dirt, you brushed your hands against your thighs as Echo approached. "Please tell me you found it.”
To your delight, Echo revealed the small trinket nestled between his fingers.
"Found it," he smirked. His smile had a peculiar effect on you, making your knees momentarily weak.
"Echo," you sighed in relief, grateful that the mission hadn't been in vain, "I can’t thank you enough. Good to know this mission wasn’t for nothing.”
Accepting the trinket from him, you suddenly realized the proximity between you and Echo. "What would you do without me?" he quipped, his words laced with humor and yet tinged with sincerity.
Unable to resist the surge of emotions within you, you offered him a heartfelt smile, getting lost in the depths of his eyes. Without thinking, your hand found its way to his shoulder, and you leaned up to place a tender, lingering kiss on his cheek—a gesture that held a quiet intensity. "Thanks again," you murmured softly, observing his widened eyes for a fleeting reaction before turning away and making your way back to the parlor.
"Uh, y-you're welcome," Echo stammered, his response a mixture of surprise and confusion.
On the lips:
There was an undeniable tension between you and Echo after that brief kiss on his cheek. He initially thought it was a friendly gesture, but as he laid in his bunk and thought of the memory, he believed that the intensity in your eyes told a different story.
Days later, Echo mustered the courage to approach you when you were alone. Standing behind you, he hesitated, unsure of how to start the conversation.
Sensing his presence, you turned to face him. "Hey, are you okay?"
He paused for a moment, reminding himself that he had the nerve to ask why you had kissed him. Slowly, he spoke up. "I don't know... it just felt right," you shrugged casually, rocking back and forth on balls of your feet. "I would do it again."
A warm chuckle escaped Echo's lips, his eyes shining. "Ever thought about kissing me somewhere else?" His question was bold, and your wide eyes and growing smile hinted at a shared desire for perhaps a proper kiss.
You tilted your head, taking a small step closer. "Possibly. And you?" you asked, your voice filled with playful curiosity.
"More often than not," he replied, his voice lowering as his hand reached to cup your cheek. Simultaneously, you leaned in, your lips meeting in a soft and passionate first kiss. It surpassed all expectations so you just knew there was something special between the two of you.
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Hunter
On the cheek:
Hunter had always been your hero, coming to your rescue time and time again and today was no exception.
As the ground shook and buildings crumbled around you, Hunter swiftly grabbed hold of you, shielding you from harm. He held you so tightly that it felt like your ribs might crack, but you were grateful to be safe in his embrace rather than under a lot of debris.
After the terrifying ordeal had passed and the dust began to settle, both of you let out relieved sighs. "That was too close," he commented, surveying the area, but he hadn't released his hold on you just yet.
"Way too close," you agreed, suddenly aware of how intimately close he was and how many times he had saved you from danger. In that moment, you couldn't resist showing your gratitude. Gently, you lifted his helmet, revealing the exposed skin of his cheek. With tenderness, you leaned in and planted a soft kiss on his tattooed cheek. You were certain you heard him inhale sharply at the contact, but you quickly replaced his helmet before you could confirm his reaction. "Thanks for saving me. Again."
You gently pulled away from his grasp, setting off to resume the mission. You couldn't quite read his expression, but it seemed to be one of shock.
On the lips:
Barely a minute, perhaps even less than thirty seconds, passed before your lips met in a kiss. You heard a thud behind you, and as you turned, you saw Hunter dropping his helmet to the ground, making a beeline straight for you.
Without hesitation, he encircled his arms around your waist, pulling you back to him, and your lips found each other in a fervent union. It was a kiss filled with urgency, desire, and a longing that had been brewing for far too long.
"I couldn't go another day without kissing you," he rasped against your lips, his fingers digging into your waist as you melted into his embrace.
“What took you so long?” You grin agaisnt his smile.
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Wrecker
On the cheek:
"Uh, Wrecker! I need some help!" It had been a few days since the Aggrocrabs wreaked havoc on the ship during our time on that tropical island. With Tech nursing a femur injury, he had entrusted you with the task of inspecting the external damage on top of the Marauder. However, as you climbed up, jotting down notes on any visible issues, your heart sank when you heard a clang. You turned to see that the ladder you had used to ascend was nowhere in sight.
In the distance, you spotted Wrecker lounging around, taking a much-needed break. There was a twinge of guilt for interrupting him, but you had to find a way down somehow.
At the sound of your plea for help, Wrecker quickly made his way over, chuckling as he observed your predicament. "Need help getting down, pretty girl?"
You suppressed the smile that threatened to spread across your face, trying not to melt at his charming flirtations. But deep down, you couldn't deny that you enjoyed it.
"Please. I think the ladder fell over there," you nodded, pointing in the direction where you last saw it. However, Wrecker made no move to retrieve it. Instead, he suggested that you should jump, assuring that he would catch you. Wide-eyed, you shook my head in disbelief. "No way! What if you drop me?"
"Would I ever? Seriously?" He let out a hearty laugh, assuming a position as if he was ready to catch your falling body. And despite the protests, he refused to back down.
So, fueled by determination, you braced myself for an uncomfortable landing and reluctantly took the leap of faith. Just as he promised, he caught you in his arms.
"See? I told ya that you'd be fine," he smirked, holding you in a bridal-style embrace. Though relieved that he caught you, you couldn't help but laugh, feeling a rush of emotions at the closeness between you both.
Without thinking, you leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on the scarred skin of his cheek. His eyes widened, and he began to stammer, unable to form coherent words. "Thanks for catching me," you whisper happily, hopping down from his arms, leaving a speechless Wrecker in your wake.
On the lips:
"Hey, would you like to go for a walk with me?" With confidence in your stride, a gentle smile on your face, and a glimmer of anticipation in your eyes, you approached Wrecker who was sat on his bunk.
"Yeah, sure," he grinned, rising from to his towering stance without hesitation.
Together, you embarked on quite a leisurely stroll through a quaint village, on Pabu, engaging in light conversation. It was evident that both of you wanted to address the unspoken tension between you, this kiss to be more forward, but a sudden wave of nervousness washed over you. You had harbored feelings for Wrecker for quite some time, and you desperately hoped that you had correctly interpreted the connection between you both. After all, he wasn’t exactly shy about hiding his feelings either.
Sensing your distraction, Wrecker tenderly took your hand in his, bringing you to a gentle stop. You turned to look up at him, and he tilted his head, his gaze filled with shyness. Despite his nerves, he reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about the other day when you kissed me," he murmured softly, his eyes fixed on you.
You couldn't help but giggle, feeling a tinge of bashfulness at the reminder. "It was just a kiss on the cheek," you replied softly, your heart fluttering as his hand cupped your cheek.
"Yeah, I know, but..." He stumbled over his words, his nervousness palpable. Unable to resist after staring far too long at his plump lips, you stood on your tiptoes and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, silencing his unfinished sentence. You were fairly certain he was going to ask you for a proper kiss, anyway.
He gasped softly at the unexpected sensation, but before you could pull away, he drew you closer, lifting you up and cradling you in his arms. With a hunger that mirrored your own, he deepened the kiss, savoring the taste of your lips just a little longer.
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Tech
On the cheek:
"Tech, what's your type?" The question escaped your lips, fueled by the unspoken feelings you had harbored for him for what felt like an eternity. In the solitude of the cockpit, with only the two of you, you decided to take a chance and see if there was any possibility of him reciprocating your emotions.
"In what sense?" he inquired, engrossed in his data pad, as you swung gently back and forth in the seat beside him.
"In terms of dating," you replied slowly, your voice carrying a hint of vulnerability. You observed a brief widening of his eyes, although he didn't meet your gaze. "Personality, looks..."
Tech adjusted his goggles and tapped his leg nervously. "Those things are subjective. I believe it's essential to get to know someone before making any judgments. While I can appreciate physical appearance, a person's personality carries great weight for me." He responded honestly, stealing a sidelong glance at you to assess your reaction. "Why do you ask?"
You casually shrugged, not fully addressing the question you truly wanted to ask, yet also refraining from pressuring him. "Just curious."
As he observed your growing silence, his heart rate quickened, and he mustered the courage to continue. "If I were to pursue a romantic relationship, someone with a personality… like yours would be cherished the most."
A warm smile graced your lips as you looked down at your lap, feeling a mixture of joy and gratitude in response to Tech's sweet confession. "Thank you, Tech," you whispered softly, tilting your head towards him. To your surprise, you found him already gazing back at you, his own smile playing at the corners of his lips.
Just as Tech was about to reveal his thoughts on looks - in particular- your looks, the cockpit door swung open, and Hunter barged in, seeking your assistance with an urgent matter. Instantly, both you and Tech fell silent, nodding in response to Hunter's request. "Sure, I'll be right there," you quickly assured, rising from your seat and swiftly leaving the cockpit before Tech could utter another word.
Tech let out a sigh, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration at the untimely interruption. Unbeknownst to him, he remained unaware of the soft footsteps that stealthily approached him until he felt a gentle pressure against his cheek.
His eyes widened in awe as you pulled away, leaving him in a state of wonderment. A soft yet flirtatious smile graced your lips, and the realisation sank in— you had just kissed him on the cheek, a gesture he had never received until that very moment and left him rather speechless.
On the lips:
You couldn't help but notice Tech's lingering gaze on you, his eyes darting away whenever you caught him in the act. There was a certain flustered energy about him, especially after the kiss on the cheek that had caught him off guard. But you knew, you could sense the hidden glances and the unspoken attraction.
With a surge of boldness, you made your way towards him, clearing your throat to grab his attention. He looked up, almost too quickly, his hands betraying his nervousness as they fumbled behind his back. "Need anything?" he asked, trying to appear nonchalant.
"Not in particular," you smiled, leaning against the power console. "Just wanted to see how my favorite trooper is doing." The teasing in your voice was unmistakable, and you couldn't help but notice the telltale blush that spread across his cheeks. Yes, he definitely had it bad for you.
"Ah, I see. Well... I was going to pull you aside for a chat anyway," he spoke, and your heart skipped a beat as he hit the button to shut the cockpit door, hoping that this time there would be no interruptions.
"Oh yeah?" you raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "What about?"
He took a step closer, breaking the invisible barrier between you both, and his breath brushed against your face, sending shivers down your spine. "I wanted to tell you what I find attractive in terms of looks, in response to your earlier question about dating."
You knew where this was heading, but you wanted to hear him say it. So, you played along, feigning ignorance. "I'm very interested to know," you hummed, tilting your head to the side, acutely aware of his fingers flexing, longing to touch you.
"If I were to date someone, I would want them to have your features. Your eyes, your smile... ideally, someone who looks like you," he confessed, puffing his chest out in an attempt to appear more confident. “Precisely you.”
Your heart swelled at his words, feeling a warmth spread through you. "And what if I told you that I'm looking for the same... someone who looks like you?"
He took another step closer, his hand finding its place on your waist. "Then it would please me greatly," he replied, his voice filled with sincerity.
A soft laugh escaped your lips as the two of you fell into a comfortable silence, locking eyes as if daring each other to make the next move. And to your pleasant surprise, it was Tech who took the plunge.
"Kiss me again," his voice was husky, his lips moist as he licked them in anticipation. "Please."
"I'll give you a real one this time," you whispered, closing the remaining distance between you. His lips eagerly met yours and you both experienced the joy of a genuine first kiss, sealing your shared feelings.
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Crosshair
On the cheek:
You find yourself chewing his ear off, rambling about everything and nothing in particular. Crosshair remains hunched over, a toothpick clenched between his teeth, showing minimal interest in your words. Finally, you come to a halt, exhaling deeply and leaning against the wall next to him. You shoot him a glance, feeling a pang of guilt. "Sorry. I guess I was rambling, huh?"
You have a soft spot for Crosshair, despite his intimidating demeanor. Once you get past his brooding exterior, you've discovered a sweeter side to him, hidden beneath the surface. So, the realisation that you may have just annoyed him for the past twenty minutes starts to gnaw at your mind.
"Just a tad," he responds, his voice carrying a hint of dryness.
You mutter a quiet "sorry" and fidget with your fingers, feeling a mix of regret and nervousness. Your tapping catches Crosshair's attention, and he swiftly places his hand over yours, halting your restless movements. His touch is firm yet gentle, and it immediately calms your racing heart.
"I like hearing you talk. So shut up apologising," he says, rolling his eyes. Despite his stern tone, there's a hint of tenderness in his words and the way he touches you.
The brief contact leaves you longing for more, but he pulls away just as quickly, returning to his previous stance. You both sit in silence for a few minutes until a wave of exhaustion washes over you, prompting a yawn and a stretch. "I think I'm going to get some sleep."
He simply nods, still gazing absentmindedly at the ground, his hands clasped together. "I, uh... thanks for listening to me, by the way. Not a lot of people do."
He grunts in response, his way of saying "you're welcome."
Seizing a moment of courage, you lean towards him, placing a soft kiss on his cheek as a gentle gesture of gratitude.
"Good night," you whisper, pulling away and watching as he looks up from the ground, trying to process what just happened, while you walk away. There was a small smile on his lips after you left.
On the lips:
The sound of Crosshair's voice startles you, causing you to turn your gaze towards him as he leans against one of the archways. His intense gaze is fixed on you, and it sends a shiver down your spine.
"Talk to me," he says, his words dripping with silkiness. You feel a mixture of confusion and flustered nerves at his command and sudden presence.
"About what?" you ask, your voice gentle as you tilt your head to the side. But your words falter as he approaches, his tall figure casting a captivating aura.
"Anything. Anything you want to," he replies, his voice low and calm. Suddenly, all your thoughts and words seem to vanish, leaving you speechless. He stands before you, his eyes hooded, staring down at you with an irresistible intensity. "Can't think of anything? How about you tell me why you kissed me on the cheek?" he continues, his voice laced with intrigue.
Your eyes widen, surprised that he would bring up the kiss so soon. You find yourself shrugging and stumbling over your words, unable to form a coherent response. "Funny. I spent a long time wanting to shut you up with a kiss," he starts, and his words make your legs turn to jelly. "And now you won't even say anything."
You lick your lips nervously, your fingers fidgeting in your hands. "So, you want me to talk so you can... kiss me?" you manage to stammer out.
"Yes," he confirms.
"I don't know what you want me to say. I just... I just wanted to kiss—" Before you can finish your sentence, his lips are on yours, fulfilling your unspoken desire. One hand rests on your waist, while the other tugs at your top, drawing you closer. You moan into the kiss, your eyes fluttering closed as his dominant lips dance with yours.
He eventually pulls away, his forehead resting against yours. "I've wanted to do that for a while, sweetheart," he confesses, his voice filled with longing.
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Masterlist
Tags: @andyoufollowyourheart @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @captxin-rex x @jesseeka @ashotofspotchka @oohyesplease @theroguesully @mustluvecho @ladykatakuri @jambolska-grozdova @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @rain-on-kamino @either-madness-or-brilliance @staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog @chrissywakingup @kixs-husband @pb-jellybeans @nunanuggets @sleepycreativewriter @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi @greaser-wolf @tinyreadersmur @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420 @ladyzirkonia @raevulsix @imalovernotahater @the-good-shittt @whore4rex @imperialclaw801 @temple-elder @mysticalgalaxysalad @photogirl894 @fantasyproductions @s1st3r @by-the-primes @the-bad-batch-baroness
2K notes · View notes
undiscovered-horizon · 10 months ago
Text
Rainy Season - Morpheus x Reader
[Spoilers for Brief Lives I guess?]
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[MASTERLIST] | [Sandman-inspired playlist]
SUMMARY: Fed up with Dream's stubborn and at times childish attitude, you leave Dreaming. But when Morpheus's sorrow makes itself known, Matthew has to fetch you before the kingdom completely floods.
WORDCOUNT: ~ 1.7k
It’s a tumultuous morning in the Dreaming. Even if none of the dreams and nightmares are privy to the ongoing feud, they know something is wrong. It’s as though the air in the kingdom, the marrow of their bones, turned bitter last night. Their skin is crawling but the sun is shining as it did yesterday. They birds chirp the same song they had throughout centuries. And yet, against their better judgment, something is terribly out of place.
To be honest, you don’t even remember how all of this started but the damage is already done.
A frustrated scream ripples through your chest, "The world doesn't revolve around you!" You're fuming. There's only so much patience one person can hold and recently, Morpheus had proven himself exceptional at trying to reach its limit until he, unfortunately, succeeded today. "For someone who's supposed to know every thought ever entertained, you sure can not look past the tip of your own nose."
His eyes, cold and hurt, stare at you in utter confusion. Dark eyebrows furrow. "I do not know what you're expecting of me,” he states in an angry voice. It appears that he really does not understand the reason for your outrage. "I am not human, I am unable to look at the world as you do."
Of course he says that, you think to yourself. It seems to be his favorite line of defense. Dream of the Endless is a strange, eldritch creature. He doesn’t comprehend the world like a mortal does and, or some reason, he treats this fact of nature as an excuse not to try. At first, you thought it charming - to see the universe through the eyes of a creature you can barely begin to understand. Who wouldn’t? The strange wonder of the man in front of you made you seek his company again and again. Truthfully, there’s something poetic about it: the reason you’ve come back to him so many times might be the very reason you bid him farewell. For good.
"Good news, then: you don't need a cardiovascular system to exercise empathy.” Your sarcastic tone has an effect on Morpheus. He frowns, hurt by your words, only to grow angry that he’s so affected. Dream’s pride makes him want to not be influenced by your bitterness. Alas, he cares more than he’s willing to admit. "Not everything is about you, Morpheus, and until you realize that, I don't think we've got more to talk about. Goodbye."
Even after you shut the door behind you, the word echoes through the castle. The stone walls seem to whisper it back to Morpheus, rubbing the salt in his wound. How strange it is - to be haunted by somebody still alive. To be the king of dreams and feel hopeless. It would be funny if it didn’t make him want to be unmade.
A thunder rolls. A blue lightning splits the sky in two. Despite the lovely weather in the morning, it starts to rain in the Dreaming.
The storm doesn’t stop after a few hours nor does it cease after a few days. Black clouds cover the sky as they did four days ago. The only change is in the water level: the kingdom is flooded. When everyone thought the rain is bound to stop soon, no one minded much the rising tide. However, when the situation only worsened with no evidence that it’s going to improve in the near future, worried voices started to reach Lucienne. If the storm doesn’t cease in the next day or two, some parts of the Dreaming will share the fate of Atlantis.
If Morpheus knew he was being observed, he didn’t show it. Perhaps he doesn’t feel up for another confrontation. In any event, he remains still, standing against the balcony reiling, as his friends begin plotting:
"How is he?" Matthew whispers to Lucienne. "Has he moved from there at all? Ate something? Said anything?"
"That's three 'no's, I'm afraid,” she answers slowly. The librarian lets out a heavy sigh. "He's just dramatically standing there, wallowing in pity."
Dream really is 'just standing there’. Drenched. His hair and clothes are stuck to his pasty skin. It can’t be comfortable but it would appear that matters other than cosiness are on his mind at the moment. For the past few days, ever since you left, he hasn’t moved even a quarter of an inch. Truthfully, he looks about as alive as a marble statue, if monuments could appear excruciatingly miserable.
"Should we do something?" The raven continues. What he really wants to ask is 'What should we do?’ but Lucienne seems to catch the undertone of his words nonetheless.
"You could ask her to come back but no guarantee she'll want to,” she thinks out loud. "They've fought before but this time she looked really defeated."
Morpheus, although doesn’t need to breathe, sighs loudly. As he exhales, another lightning tears the sky apart.
"Alright, I'll try to convince her to talk to him again,” Matthew states. His worried voice makes him sound determined to have the two of you reconcile. "Hopefully, we'll be back before you need a canoe."
Lucienne doesn’t respond. As much as she doesn’t want to admit to her pessimism, she knows better than to have much hope in the matter of Dream’s love life.
Repetitive tapping on the window diverts your attention from the dishes you were washing. Seeing the black bird sitting on the outside windowsill, you quickly wipe your hands against the dishrag and jog to open the window.
"Matthew?" you ask in surprise.
He wastes no time pleading his case in a plaintive tone. "You gotta go back to him. Everything's gone to shit."
You furrow your eyebrows. Leaning against the wall, you cross your arms on your chest. "What do you mean?"
The raven hops closer to you. "It's been pouring nonstop since you left. He's just standing there, soaking wet and he won't talk to anyone."
It might sound sadistic but it’s a nice thought that he’s grieving your departure so severely. For what it’s worth, it means he’s not as blase as he likes to appear. Perhaps, Morpheus cares about you more than you’re even aware of.
"How bad is it?" you ask warily.
"How bad?!" Matthew screeches. "The House of Mysteries is so flooded, Abel is fishing."
It sounds like 'bad' is nothing more than an elegant euphemism. In his heartache, Morpheus is willing to let Dreaming decay and fall into partial ruin. If your accusation had been correct and Dream of the Endless truly is unable to care about anyone but himself, such a disaster would never have happened. A selfish ruler wouldn’t let his realm turn to rubble because of a broken heart. And if you’re more important than what he calls home, then…
"I'm assuming that's not a usual feature,” you give the raven a half-hearted response. The thoughts inside your head are in a painful turmoil, trying to lift the truth out of the indications.
"Yeah," he answers sarcastically.
Matthew glares at you in anticipation. Perplexed, you rub your arm without thinking much about it. Right, it's the mature and responsible thing to do but at the same time, why do you have to be the one to cave in every time you two fall out? If Morpheus cares for you as much as his dramatic show of pain and grief would suggest, shouldn’t it be him travelling across world and realms to reach you?
The raven cocks his head. Something about the look in his eyes changes as though his frustration has faded away or grown into desperation if not powerlessness. He’s tired and out of options.
"Alright, let's go," you say with a sigh. "But no promises. I still have pride and self-respect and he's still a stubborn..." you take a deep breath, "nevermind. Let's just go."
Miserable.
That's the only word that comes to your mind as you stare at him from afar. One would think that an entity of his sort can not be or look miserable but maybe this world is even stranger than you've thought. His clothes are drenched to the point of being see-through. Dark, once-tussled hair is now stuck to his face and neck. Dream's body looks even more stringy as his head is hanging low between his shoulders.
The rain is almost deafening. Your cautious, hesitant footsteps shouldn't be audible and yet Morpheus turns around to look at you when you come closer.
"I didn't think you'd come back," he says in a low, groggy voice. Dream's eyes, once blue and cold, are now red and unsettlingly vacant. Has he been crying? "What do you want?"
You take a deep breath. It was vain to expect him to welcome you with open arms. An eldritch being with a bruised ego and a broken heart could never make for a hospitable host. Even to those whom he misses the most.
"I still stand by what I said, it's just..." you hang your voice for a moment to find the proper words. Seeing him so broken by your fight makes some part of you want to renounce everything that lead to your argument. Anything just for him to be alright again. But the more reasonable side of you knows that such an action would only hurt both of you in the long run. "I admit, I could have said it in a more civilized way. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that harshness."
His gaze falls and Morpheus looks away for a moment.
Whether he's doing it consciously or not, the rainstorm ceases. Black clouds slowly drift away to uncover a clear, blue sky. Somewhere in the West, if there are cardinal directions in Dreaming, the sun is beginning to set. Despite the significant improvement, the air remains cold. A harsh wind nips at your drenched form. In a vain attempt to shield yourself from the discomfort of the weather, you put your arms around your torso. Still, your body trembles.
"Perhaps I should have put more effort into understanding your concern. I'm..." he turns silent for a second. His lips are apart but no sound is coming out of his mouth. Dream's hurt gaze meets yours. "Sorry," he whispers finally. Despite his voice being hardly audible, the weight of his confession is almost deafening.
"There's one more thing, Morpheus."
Those sad blue eyes stare at you in anticipation. The misery on his face makes you think that he's expecting to have his heart broken again, instead of mended.
A couple of grey clouds reappear above your heads. Oh no.
"I'm tired of always being the one to reach out," you confess. His gaze is too intense and you quickly look away from him. There's much on his mind. "No matter who's right or wrong, it's me who bridges the gap between us. Even if that angers me, I still do it. Every time. And I don't know what that says about me."
Your body trembles again but this time it doesn't go unnoticed by Morpheus. He, quite literally, pulls a coat out of thin air. Dream's movements are almost fearful as he cautiously places the garment around your shoulders.
"Perhaps in certain aspects, you are better than me," he answers quietly while fixing the coat to fit you better.
You know you're pushing your luck when you look at him again and ask a not-so-innocent question:
"You mean a 'better person'?"
"I'm not-" He bites his tongue just in time. Morpheus is not a person. Both of you are perfectly aware of it. But it was the mention of this very fact that had brought such disastrous rain to Dreaming. "Yes. A better person."
There's not much conviction in his words but there is, however, a silent promise to find it.
______
Now that I’m in mourning, I thought it fitting to finish reading "Brief Lives" and the bittersweetness of it felt all the more pronounced. Reading it prompted me to rewatch the show and long story short I’m kind of back in my Sandman feels.
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alyrasturnz · 5 months ago
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omgggggg! u take requests hi <3 can u write a matt fluff oneshot abt "its nice to have a friend" by taylor swift? tytyty
IT’S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND
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❐ summary » y/n and matt are inseparable best friends, sharing every moment together and forming an unbreakable bond. despite their deep friendship, they harbor hidden feelings for each other. eventually, matt can no longer contain his emotions and confesses his love, revealing the depth of his affection.
❐ pairings » bsf!matt x fem!reader
❐ warnings » swearing, mentions of religion
❐ a/n && w/c » awhhh this is so sweet :((( • 
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the sonorous peal of the school bell reverberated through the corridors, as a symphony of animated conversations filled the air.
"are you riding with us today? or are you walking again?" inquired chris, his fingers lingering momentarily on the cold metal of the locker door before he gently closed it with a soft click.
"i’ll go ahead," declared matt to nick and chris, who responded with a silent nod, their expressions a quiet acknowledgment of his decision.
matt strode purposefully toward your classroom, his footsteps echoing softly in the hallway.
through the window, his eyes found you, observing intently as you meticulously gathered your belongings, each movement deliberate and unhurried.
the moment seemed to stretch, filled with unspoken words and lingering glances.
"bye, mr. thompson," you said with a warm smile, as you swung your bag over your shoulder.
with your eyes glued to your phone, you walked out of the classroom, each step a blend of casual ease and focused distraction.
"boo!" matt exclaimed, his voice cutting through the air with playful intensity. you jumped, your hand instinctively flying to your chest as your heart raced from the sudden surprise.
"oh my god, matt!" you exclaimed with a laugh, your voice a blend of surprise and amusement.
you playfully hit him, your touch light and teasing, while he responded with a grin, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking back on his heels, his smile warm and unguarded.
"do you think the drawings we etched on the sidewalk yesterday still linger?" matt inquired, his voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia. you merely shrugged, a subtle gesture that spoke volumes, leaving the question hanging in the air between you.
"the janitor has probably scrubbed it away," you said, your voice carrying a note of resignation as you pushed open the entrance door and stepped outside.
"but let's see," you added, a glimmer of hope still flickering in your eyes as you ventured forth.
you and matt meander towards the particular section of the sidewalk, your steps in sync as you approach the spot where your shared memories were etched.
"oh, the snow," matt giggled, his laughter light and airy as he kicked the snow aside. A smile gradually spread across his face, illuminating his features. "it's still there," he said, his voice filled with a mix of surprise and delight.
"oh, it is!" you reply, reaching for your phone to capture the moment.
just as you frame the shot, matt, with a mischievous glint in his eye, hurls a snowball at you, catching you off guard.
"hey!" you giggle, quickly tucking your phone back into your pocket. With a playful urgency, you shrug off your bag, unzipping it and rummaging through its contents in search of your gloves.
"fuck," you mutter under your breath, your voice tinged with mild frustration, as Matt's giggles fill the air.
"what?" he inquires, his smile unwavering as he strides towards you, curiosity dancing in his eyes.
"my gloves disappeared, dude!" you lament with a sigh of frustration. "that was my sixth pair, for fucks sake!"
"you can borrow mine," matt declares, as he meticulously removes one glove from his hand, feeling the biting chill of the air against his exposed skin.
his breath forms wisps of vapor in the wintry air, a testament to the encroaching cold.
"are you sure? I mean, you don't have t—" you begin, but matt interrupts you mid-sentence.
"no, really. it's perfectly fine," he insists with a reassuring smile, extending his glove towards you with a gentle, unwavering hand.
you don the glove and, with a fluid motion, cast your bag aside. swiftly, you gather a substantial amount of snow, sculpting it into a compact sphere.
with a mischievous glint in your eye, you hurl the snowball at him, eliciting a high-pitched, almost girlish scream that reverberates through the crisp, wintry air.
you release a peal of laughter, "what was that scream?" you manage to say between fits of giggles.
matt joins in your mirth, his laughter mingling with yours. without warning, he scoops up a snowball and hurls it at you, prompting you to let out a series of surprised yelps as the cold snow collides with you.
the two of you engage in a spirited snowball fight, the frosty missiles flying back and forth amidst peals of laughter and playful taunts.
the air is filled with the sound of your joyous exclamations as you dodge and weave, each trying to outmaneuver the other.
time seems to stretch, the world narrowing down to just the two of you and the snow-covered battlefield.
eventually, with cheeks flushed and breaths coming in visible puffs, you both come to a silent agreement that it's time to head back.
the cold has finally seeped through your layers, and the promise of warmth beckons you homeward.
the sun cast a gentle warmth upon your face, its rays a stark contrast to the biting chill of the air that nipped at your exposed skin.
your bare hand sought refuge in the depths of your pocket, seeking solace from the relentless cold that pervaded the wintry landscape.
you were lost in a stream of consciousness, words flowing freely as you rambled on about some trivial matter.
amidst your rant, you could have sworn you felt Matt's gaze fixed intently upon you, his eyes tracing every nuance of your expression.
"wanna come over to my place?" you inquire, your voice tinged with a blend of hope and hesitation.
matt responds with a silent nod, his eyes conveying an unspoken agreement.
"yeah, i’d love that actually," he replies, punctuating his words with a thoughtful nod.
"oh, we can play some video games! i got new games during the weekend," you exclaim, your eyes lighting up with enthusiasm. He responds with a soft chuckle, his lips curling into a smile as he observes the excitement radiating from you.
"sounds like fun," he remarks, a genuine smile gradually spreading across his face, illuminating his features with a warm, inviting glow.
it’s nice to have a friend.
»--•--«
"ugh!" you groan, frustration bubbling over as you toss the controller onto the ground with a dramatic flair.
leaning back, you let your body sink into the floor, the cool surface grounding you as you bury your face into your hands, your mind swirling with the sting of defeat.
matt's soft giggles fill the room, a lighthearted melody that contrasts sharply with your dismay, his amusement a gentle reminder of the playful nature of your competition.
"what time is it?" matt inquires, his curiosity piqued. you slowly remove your hands from your face, your gaze shifting towards the clock to discern the passage of time.
your eyes widen in sudden realization. "matt! your curfew!" you exclaim hastily, urgency lacing your voice.
"no, it's alright. i spoke with my mom and she granted me extra time; in fact, she said I have no curfew tonight," matt replied, his tone calm and reassuring.
you pause, a slow smile spreading across your face, illuminating your features with a gentle warmth. turning to look at him, your eyes reflect a mixture of relief and amusement, capturing the subtle shift in the atmosphere.
"sleepover?" you suggest with a playful grin, the word hanging in the air like an invitation. matt's immediate nod is a silent agreement, his eagerness evident in the swift motion of his head.
"hell yeah!" he exclaimed with fervor, quickly pulling out his phone to inform his mom, his fingers dancing over the screen with excitement.
you move to turn off the xbox, your gaze sweeping the room thoughtfully. "let's do something," you suggest, your voice carrying a hint of anticipation.
matt keeps his eyes fixed on his phone, barely glancing up as he murmurs, "like what?" His voice is tinged with curiosity, though his attention remains divided.
"hmm," you hum thoughtfully, your gaze wandering around the room before finally settling on the window. a wide grin spreads across your face, lighting up your features with a sudden spark of inspiration.
"come!" you exclaim, a radiant grin illuminating your face as you seize Matt’s hand, the urgency in your voice matched by the excitement in your eyes.
"what are we doing?" he chuckles, his curiosity piqued as you come to a halt before the window, your hands deftly opening it to reveal the world beyond.
matt's eyes widen with dawning realization as the pieces of what you wanted to do fall into place in his mind.
he knows all too well the depth of your affection for those tranquil moments spent perched atop your own roof, where the world below seems distant and the sky above feels within reach.
"absolutely not!" he exclaims, his voice tinged with a mix of alarm and defiance as he takes a step back, putting some distance between himself and the open window.
"matt, come on, it's okay," you reassure him, casting a comforting glance over your shoulder before you nimbly climb out of the window and onto the familiar expanse of your roof.
you began your ascent up the roof, your movements cautious yet determined.
suddenly, your foot slipped, sending a jolt of fear through you. in that precarious moment, matt's hand shot out, gripping you firmly and preventing your fall. his steady hold anchored you, offering both safety and a surge of unexpected intimacy.
"be careful!" he exclaims, his voice a blend of stern concern and playful teasing as you both navigate the precarious climb up the roof.
you and matt settle at the roof's peak, the world below fading into insignificance.
as you gaze at the horizon, the sun dips lower, casting a mesmerizing pink hue across the sky, transforming it into a canvas of delicate pastels.
the tranquility of the moment envelops you both, a silent testament to the beauty of shared solitude.
you turn to look at Matt, noting how his hair falls effortlessly across his forehead, framing his piercing blue eyes with a perfection that seems almost intentional.
the soft light of the setting sun casts a gentle glow, highlighting the subtle nuances of his features.
you furrowed your eyebrows, taken aback by the transformation in his blue eyes.
typically, they held the serene and inviting hue of a clear summer sky, a gentle reminder of peaceful days.
but today, they had darkened, swirling with a tempestuous energy that evoked the image of a raging ocean storm.
it was as if a tsunami was brewing within them, ready to unleash its overwhelming power and destruction upon an unsuspecting city, leaving nothing but chaos in its wake.
“what’s on your mind?” you ask, your voice a gentle whisper imbued with tenderness.
matt turns to look at you, his expression a mixture of contemplation and vulnerability.
his gaze softens, eyes reflecting a raw vulnerability. "I've just been pretty stressed out lately," he mumbles, his voice barely above a whisper.
you nod, the words slipping out in a whisper. "yeah, me too," you say, as you gently rest your head on his shoulder.
matt rested his head against yours, a quiet sigh escaping his lips. His hand moved with a serpentine grace, encircling your waist before continuing its journey.
it found its way to your hand, which lay softly on your lap, and found your fingers in a delicate, almost hesitant embrace.
the warmth of his touch spread through you, a silent testament to the unspoken bond that still lingered between you both.
he interlocked your fingers with a tender deliberation, the gesture speaking volumes as you both watched the sun dip below the horizon.
the sky transformed into a canvas of fiery hues, casting a warm glow over your intertwined hands, a silent witness to the profound connection that still lingered between you.
in that moment, the world seemed to dissolve away, leaving only the two of you suspended in time.
it was just you and your best friend, enveloped in a cocoon of shared silence and unspoken understanding, where nothing else held any significance.
i suppose one could say that you felt a profound sense of gratitude for the privilege of having a friend.
»--•--«
the church bell tolled solemnly, resonating through the sacred space as the priest proclaimed the conclusion of the mass.
you, matt, nick, and chris rose from your seats, the quiet rustle of movement echoing the end of a shared moment of reverence.
your parents and theirs have forged a deep friendship over the years.
one such tradition is the saturday morning church service, where the pews are filled with familiar faces and the air is thick with the scent of incense and the murmur of collective prayers.
"I’m so sleepy," you groaned, leaning into matt as he slipped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer with a comforting familiarity.
"i’d hope so. you didn't catch a wink last night," matt chuckles, his eyes twinkling with amusement as you playfully roll your eyes in response.
you rest your head on matt's shoulder, finding solace in his presence, as the two of you walked out into the morning.
"I literally slept!" you protested defensively, as matt's laughter filled the room. "no, seriously! like thirty minutes after you fell asleep."
"you're bluffing," matt chuckled, shaking his head with a knowing smile. "race to the park?" he proposed, a playful glint in his eyes.
every time you and matt accompanied your parents to church, it became an unspoken tradition to escape to the park afterward, finding solace in its serene embrace.
you would pass by an elderly gentleman seated on a weathered bench, methodically feeding the pigeons that flocked around him.
sometimes, he would offer them crumbs of bread, and other times, delicate grains of rice.
occasionally, he would surprise them with new treats, likely procured from his recent visit to the local store.
his choices were always a delightful enigma, a small yet captivating puzzle that kept you on your toes each week.
you found yourself eagerly anticipating what he might bring next, each encounter adding a layer of intrigue to your routine visits.
"you know it," you say with a grin, and with that, you both take off, sprinting towards the park, laughter trailing in your wake.
the breeze dances around you, its cool touch invigorating as it weaves through your body. delicate snowflakes descend from the heavens, each one finding a resting place upon your locks, creating a shimmering crown of winter’s grace.
the crunch of your shoes against the snow echoes through the quiet landscape, each step a testament to your resolve.
you summon every ounce of strength, your breath visible in the cold air, as you push forward with unwavering determination towards the park, the destination that calls to you through the winter's chill.
you reach the park and a triumphant smile spreads across your face. "I win!" you exclaim, your voice ringing with victory.
matt chuckles, his laughter warm and genuine, as he stops in his tracks, bending over with his hands resting on his knees, catching his breath.
though Matt would never confess it, there is a subtle, almost imperceptible hesitation in his stride.
it is a silent concession, a deliberate slowing of his pace, crafted solely to ensure your victory.
"yet again," he murmurs, shaking his head with a bemused smile. as he approaches, he throws his arm over your shoulder, drawing you close.
"yet again," you echo his words, the familiarity of the phrase bringing a smile to your lips. as you walk through the park, your eyes fall upon the old man you always see, his presence a comforting constant in your routine.
the old man glances at you and matt, a knowing smile playing on his lips. you and matt return his smile, your steps in sync as you make your way towards your bench.
"he brought bread today," you whispered, a soft murmur that drew a chuckle from matt.
you and matt settle onto the bench, his arm remaining a comforting weight around your shoulders.
you lean into him, resting your head against his shoulder, feeling the warmth and steady rhythm of his breath.
the world around you seems to fade, leaving just the two of you in a quiet bubble of shared contentment.
you tilt your head to the side, your eyes meeting matt's as a smile curves your lips. after a moment, you shift your gaze to the tree beside him, the leaves rustling gently in the breeze.
you had carved your initials there, not in a romantic gesture, but in a testament to your enduring friendship.
though you yearned to encircle the initials with a heart, just as you secretly wished to call him "babe" rather than simply "best friend," the unspoken desires lingered in the spaces between your words.
matt slowly withdraws his arm from your shoulder, his hands finding their way to his lap. as his nails begin to absentmindedly pick at the skin on his arms, the gesture speaks volumes of the silent tempest raging within him.
you lift your head from his shoulder, your brows knitting together in concern.
your gaze then drifts downward, first to his hands, which fidget restlessly, and then to his leg, which bounces with a nervous energy that betrays his inner unrest.
you gently place a hand on his leg, your touch meant to still its anxious movement. Looking up into his eyes, you softly ask, "matt? are you okay?"
matt keeps his head low, a moment of hesitation passing before he slowly lifts his gaze.
his blue eyes, intense and searching, lock onto yours, delving deep as if seeking solace or understanding within your soul.
"i don't know... it's just—" he stammers, his voice faltering as he shifts his gaze away, frustration evident in his movements. He throws his head back, a sigh escaping his lips. "fuck...”
"It's okay," you murmur softly, your hand gently rubbing his upper arm in a comforting gesture. "talk to me."
he shakes his head, frustration evident in his movements. "what are we, y/n?" he snaps, his voice tinged with desperation.
"what do you mean? we're best frie—" you begin to say, but he cuts you off abruptly.
"no, we're not. best friends don't look at each other the way we do. best friends don't spend every waking second together. well—they do, but not like us. what we have is different. i'm convinced it's different. but you're so confusing! one moment, you're kissing my cheek, and the next, you're saying we're nothing more than best friends? it's maddening, y/n. you can't just expect me to switch off my feelings. every time you pull me close, every time you laugh at my jokes, it feels like there's more between us. then you turn around and act like none of it matters. you can't expect me not to fall in love with you when you make me feel this way. it's like you're playing with my heart, and I don't think I can take it anymore," he says, his words spilling out in a torrent of raw emotion before he can even process what he's saying.
"you're in love with me?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper, laced with a mixture of astonishment and vulnerability.
"yes, y/n! god, i'm in love with you! i'm so in love with you that it hurts! i'm in love with the way you smile, the way you always know what to say, what to do, and how to act! i'm in love with every single aspect of you, inside and out. i love you, and it hurts! it hurts knowing that you can't reciprocate my feelings and that i'm just- i'm just a friend in your eyes. it tears me apart every day, seeing you and not being able to tell you how i truly feel. every time you laugh, every time you touch my arm, it's like a dagger to my heart because i want so much more. i want to hold you, to be with you, to share every moment with you. but instead, i have to pretend that i'm okay with just being your friend when all i want is to be your everything." matt rambles, his words pouring out in a desperate rush, but before he can finish his sentence, you cup his face and plant your lips onto his.
matt’s tense muscles gradually unwound, the weight of his worries dissipating as his eyelids fluttered shut, surrendering to the serene embrace of the moment.
you pull away, a soft smile gracing your lips, as a cheesy grin spreads across matt’s face, his eyes still gently closed, savoring the lingering warmth of the kiss.
you nestle your head against his shoulder once more, and he responds by encircling your waist with his arm, drawing you closer into a tender embrace.
it really is nice to have a friend.
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i-cant-sing · 1 year ago
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PLS PLS WRITE THE PLATONIC YANDERE MIGUEL OHARA FIC IM BEGGINF 🙏🙏🙏🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️WE NEED MORE PLATONIC FICS OF THIS MAN
(Thank you for reading this and have a great day!!)
I definitely see dad Miguel treating reader like a child, no matter what age you are. You could be a strong, independent woman, and to Miguel... you're a baby🥺 Everytime you get frustrated when he tells you no, or doesn't allow you to do what you want, he thinks you look absolutely adorable, your brows furrowed and your nostrils flared, and Miguel just has to just lean down to your level and you think that he's gonna offer you an explanation and in his mind, he does, but all he really says is-
"I know what's best for you, mija."
And if you dare to say "you're not my dad!", he won't say anything because yeah, you're right, but he will stare at you intimidatingly until you either take your words back or change the topic.
I think Miguel is not someone who talks much (but he still expects you to converse with him regularly) and so when he doesn't wanna argue with you, he may or may not shoot a web to seal your lips shut, just so that you give him enough time to explain (which again he doesnt), but he does use this time to tell you that you're grounded and then again, uses his strength against you to pick you up like a little bratty kitten and drop you back to your room.
I also think that Miguel definitely sees you as this helpless creature that would absolutely DIE without him. It doesn't matter if you're a spider-person like him, no. To him, you're just a frail kitten that needs papa Miguel's help to shelter her from the pouring rain and bubble wrap you and cuddle you and just- protect you from this all too harsh world.
And you could be trying to break free from his grasp, going of about how he didnt need you to pull you from your universe, how you had your life under control and what not, and Miguel would just sigh and shake his head and mutter "Teenagers🙄" EVEN IF YOU'RE AN ADULT.
Miguel isnt someone who talks about his feelings, definitely not at first, he just bottles everything up until the lid pops off and someone else has to face his fury. BUT that doesn't he doesn't expect you to talk about yours. He's super observant so the moment he notices the slightest change in your mood, or the way you breathe, oh he's bugging you to tell him whats wrong. I mean he's breathing down your neck, which as you already know isnt great because he is the only person you're allowed to talk to (minus Peter B Parker and Mayday), and eventually, he may even tie you upside down with his web to make you talk. And he's just nodding and offering up solutions/therapeutic advices (not really, they're just compromises) while you're getting blood rush from hanging off the ceiling for so long.
Also going back to the "you're not my dad!" thing, I think if you say it enough times, it does start to hurt him and eventually he reaches a breaking point where he does end up getting mad and bares his teeth at you as he yells "I AM, NOW! AND IF YOU DON'T START LISTENING TO ME MIJA, YOU WILL REGRET IT! NOW, MARCH OFF TO YOUR ROOM!" And sure, you get spooked enough to run off, but not before you yell like a very cliche, angsty teen "I hate you!" and you slam your door close before he could scold you again. He still comes right up to your door, probably to ground you even more, but he doesnt have the heart to open the door when he hears your sobs. Damn, now you just broke his heart. So, Miguel leaves, deciding its best that you two get some space to cool off.
Now I see Miguel as the type of dad who doesnt really apologise (mostly because he doesn't feel like he's done anything wrong) but instead offers a parley or a white flag of sorts in the form of food (like some cut up fruits and veggies, or even your fav takeout) and sure, his heart is still heavy with guilt, even more so when he sees your swollen red eyes indicating how you've been crying for days, so he clears his throat, maybe shifts in his seat a little and asks about your day or something random, heartbreak intensifying 100X when you refuse to talk to him, making him resort to something thats... uncomfortable for you both.
A hug.
I mean this has to be the most awkward hug in history, because Miguel just swoops you up and places you in his lap, pulling you to his chest and telling you that he's not letting go until you talk. STILL NOT APOLOGISING, I mean there is a greater likelihood that you may end up apologising to him but Miguel sure as hell isnt saying the word "sorry" (unless you're dead, specifically if u die in his arms hehe).
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