#but its like what else am i good at 😀 nothing

[everfolk]

like bro all people do is cancel on me 😭😭

[astrophileblogs07]

Astro Observations pt.21

Back with some very random Astro observations 😁

⚫ Saturn aspecting the 7th house actually can dislike 9 to 5 jobs or corporate office jobs. They are better with freelancing. Its coz they can't take orders. Sorry not sorry. 💀(Ig that's a Saturn 7H thing 😆)

⚫ An interesting thing I observed: Among two siblings, the elder one has Leo rising which means Scorpio 4H and the younger one has Scorpio moon. And their Mom is a Scorpio moon too. She's a nice lady though but is such a control freak. (I know I am one too, but like when I met her the second time that "controlling" vibe just hit me like a big yellow school bus 🚌😭😭). That was so funny lol😂. -All the more her birthdate is a single digit 1.(these people are the alpha type, always lead and never follow and hence are dominating, one to have the last say) which is cherry on top. -She is fiercely protective of her kids. Can't emphasize enough on "fierce" part. Very strict. Rules are to be followed very religiously. {She can't stand any one of them doing anything without her knowledge. She even monitors whom they interact with what they do on their mobiles etc.(from what I suspect)} (obv Scorpio moon mom traits) (sometimes Leo moon moms too){nothing unhealthy here, just Mom's way of showing they care 😂}

⚫Saturn and Workout: -Workout 🏋️‍♀️requires CONSISTENCY. Saturn LOVES consistency. -In fact the best remedy for Saturn is sweating. JUST SWEAT by hard work. No matter what it maybe: workout, walking, jobs, cardio, sports etc. 🤸‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏋️‍♀️

⚫ Whilst on the topic of Saturn, people who follow a time table for literally everything the planet doesn't harm them much during its Dasha (even if its your worst one). I mean obviously you played by the rules 🤷‍♀️

⚫ Magha is the only nakshatra for which you don't need in depth compatibility match. They get along with everyone.

⚫Scorpio Venuses/8H Venuses are paranoid. They notice and suspect everything (sometimes things which are not there/imaginary). (For eg, me, who thinks that someone is peeping thru my curtains even when nobody is there and all my curtains cover my windows properly. 🤣).

⚫Also as a basic Scorpio Venus behavior: while writing chats/texting, I always think- "what if someone else reads it?"..so I just don't give much details in texts. (Gosh, sometimes I think somethings wrong with me 😭😭)

⚫The proven way to hurt a Leo moon: compare them with any other person and tell them that the person is wayy better in a certain thing esp if it's a triat that the Leo is proud of. 🤣 (P.S don't do that, its mean and the Leo will hunt you, which you don't want 😀.)

⚫Why do Aries moon men have a bunch of good friends for life and Aries moon women struggle with having at least one good genuine female friend for life? (I'm jealous)

⚫ Maybe its becoz they get along more with guys than gals so the girls are jealous of them...so hence no good female friends. 😢🤡 Aries moons are the best-est people for friendships you'll ever get.

⚫ People born on a Saturday look melancholic.

⚫ You can NEVER mislead a Leo rising. They study litreally everything: what you say what you do, and why you do so. Similar to Scorpios

⚫If you see a person having graceful and "royal" way of walking or behaving, they're are sure shot to have a Magha Ascendant.

⚫Connecting the dots here: as I said in one of my previous posts that Maghas get framed even when they have done nothing, what I interpreted is that Maghas are actually the definition of royalty. They literally have that ✨grace✨, that kinda magnanimous personality and similar struggles to a monarch. Totally King/Queen typa energy here. So with that, the usual consequences in a Kingdom is conspiracy against the king, which the Maghas face. (Enough with Maghas ig, started observing them recently so..✌🏻💀)

That's it for today, until next time! (like,comment and reblog loveliesss❤❤😘)

[andy-wm]

i'm wondering how your thesis of "idols will come out when they want" fits into your insane shadow analysis attempting to prove jimin and jungkook fucked in the middle of their travel show (amongst other things)? like do you get joy out or trying to drag someone out of a closet they might not be in? or is it something else? just curious! 😀

Hey wdcmaxy

Since you have the guts to use your name I'll respond :)

So, you read my thesis?

*Sips whisky*

Cool. And you read my insane shadow analysis too?

Hmmm... do you come here often?

Let me answer your question then.

I think we both know the shadows analysis isn't really insane - it's based on very basic earth science. Shadows grow longer as the day progresses because of the rotation of the earth on its axis. You sound reasonably literate so i assume you know this already.

I guess your description of my shadow analysis ( I think I'll name my next racehorse 'Shadow Analysis') as insane is an attempt to discredit the idea that a fair bit of time passed while Tae was out of the house? But that was kinda silly on your part. Even children know that shadows change as the day passes.

Nothing insane about it.

He was gone for hours, no debate.

Now let's move on to the fucking part, and when and how idols choose to come out.

This is actually worth discussing.

As flattered as i am that you think my tiny insignificant blog could be a game changer for anyone, let's be real.

How many people, besides yourself, do you think read my blog?

Serious question.

I'm estimating maybe 100. Double that on a good day. Maybe 300 if i write something REALLY profound which doesn't happen often.

I am way less excited about my impact on the world than you are, because I'm a realist.

BUT if by some strange twist of fate my blog came to the attention of someone whose opinion mattered (I'm not counting you, don't worry) do you think they would take it seriously? Do you REALLY imagine a random tumblr post about shadows could make someone believe that an idol was gay if they didn't already believe it?

Here's a great example of how that wouldn't happen:

You, dear reader.

You're my example.

You came here to tell me I'm speaking shit and that I should pull my head in, correct? My insane shadow analysis hasn't changed your beliefs at all. You're here, throwing a tantrum on my page, because you don't agree with what I'm saying, not because you suddenly believe it.

Or ...

Perhaps you suspect it's true and that scares you. Maybe you can't be absolutely sure I'm wrong and that's why you need to yell at me? Could that be it? Time for a bit of self reflection?

Either way, it's not going to make an iota of difference in the grand scheme of things.

We are all just dust motes floating through time and space, my friend. You dont need to worry so much. The universe is unfolding exactly as intended.

However... There are a couple of things we should agree on:

The fact is that the shadows grew long and therefore, time passed. And Tae was out for several hours. Maybe he went out for a bit of afternoon delight himself? Maybe Jimin and Jungkook played Pokemon Go all afternoon, or prayed, or practiced their English, or braided each other's hair.

Regardless of whether they did or didn't fuck, or how many times, or on what surfaces, the time still passed.

And whether I write my blog or not, people will believe what they believe. And they will be gay or they won't be gay.

And even though I never mentioned anything about them fucking in that post, whether you like it or not Jimin and Jungkook might be fucking right now, as you read this.

One last thing...

Please bear in mind, through all of this, that fucking is not the be all and end all of life. Sure its a lot of fun if you do it right but the notion that it's more meaningful than sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings, or giving someone your time and energy, is bullshit.

You can have a roots-deep love for someone and never even think of fucking them. Or you can meet someone in a public toilet and have at it, and leave without even knowing their name.

Sex does not equal love. Fucking is not that big of a big deal.

Unless...

Unless you're fucking someone the patriarchy doesn't want you to fuck. Then its a major issue.

Hear me out.

The need to control who we fuck is based a patriarchal need to control material wealth.

To control material wealth, the patriarchy needs to control reproduction (so they can be sure their wealth stays with their bloodline, because wealth is built over many generations) and to do THAT they need to control womens' bodies.... and to do that, of course they need to control who women fuck. And who men fuck too!

Do you know what the ACTUAL issue is with men who like dick? They don't automatically buy into the patriarchal way of life. (where's the solidarity, lads?)

Why don't they?

Because lifelong monogamy and marriage and nuclear families don't matter as much when you're not equating love with sex, and sex with reproduction. When your goal isn't to accumulate wealth and pass it down to your children.

Same thing applies to women who love women. They aren't focused on being demure and pleasing the men in power. They aren't focused on making themselves wife material. They will challenge the status quo and maybe even (shock! horror!) decide not to have children. How the heck do you make sure your money and power stays in the family, how do you build an empire, when the women are perfectly happy having sex with each other and don't want to love, honour and obey??

And whose fault is all this?

Its got to be the damned queers, right? They're making people think there might be other ways to share your life with those you care about! That's why its important to squash down gayness whenever you can, right, wdcmaxy?

Look at them destroying the fabric of society!

If Jimin and Jungkook ARE fucking every chance they get, good for them. I hope they're balls deep and breathless, hitting all those sweet spots for each other having a really good time.

And if they're not fucking, it actually doesn't matter to me because the way they support each other and share their hearts is beautiful. (I do think they are fucking though)

Truthfully, whatever they're doing, as long as they're happy I'm happy.

Can you say the same, wdcmaxy?

Peace.

[justcallmesakira]

HIII OMG I haven’t had a good laugh in a while until i came across your fyodor’s sis dating dazai hcs IT GOT ME ROLLING ON THE FLOOR 😭 can i request for dazai’s sister dating fyodor if you’re up for it? fluff crack make it silly if you want i’ll enjoy anything from you for sure!!

"Dazai with a sister dating Fyodor!"

Sypnosis: Uh oh! Looks like Dazais one and only sister he grew up with is dating a rat who the entirety of yokohama is after!

Genre: crack, suggestive? (idk sth is wrong with me)

Warning: More blasting, bombing, terrorrist, rizz,

A/N: AHHH I AM SO HAPPY U ENJOYED IT- AND I AM MORE THEN HAPPY BCS I MADE YOU LAUGH !!! >.<

nahhh like brother like sister :/

NO BCS i feel like fyodor just wanted to temper dazai by using his ugly breedable charms on you

But it backfired terribly! (like his posture)

Though you were his one and oNlY eNeMyS blood relative he just couldnt help but flirt with you and perhaps ykyk do those romantic stuff ppl do

This is so ooc rn ;skull emoji 69x;

However you were extremly LIKE extremly careful to not let your brother know

You literly sneaked off the house as if you were sneaking inthe kitchen to cook a whole buffet at 3am!!

Except you were sneaking off to EAT a whole buffet😏😏

Even the rat himself helped you to sneak to his rusty ahh apartment

Wow! The first thing he actually did for others!!!!!

Honestly dazai would be chill though-

Like oh his sister is dating someone? welp sure! i have exes all around the city hope its not one of them though hehe...HeHe

FUCKING SLU--

You took the risk of rizzing fyodor up infront of him though like:

"I am crime, I am punishment" you: "I know something else you can punish :3"

Dazai woke back from the dead with em bones fish eye when u said that

AYYY DAZAI IN HIS MELANIE MARTINEZ "PORTALS" ERA!!!!1😍

When he find out though.....oh god hes going to give you that light skin stare, with his eyes turning into nothing but a pitch black void

like my soul-- OKAY THIS IS THE LAST ONE I PROMISE--

One day you met up with fyodor and you were so excited that you nearly threw his anemic ass to the ground

"Yaaaah fedya,!! we finally met! dont give me that face do u know how hard it is to come and meet you when my lazy ahh brother puts trackers on me!" "Malyshka, please calm down---''

All of a sudden u could hear shuffling which instantly cautions the both of you only for your eyes to be meeted with your brothers eye turning into nothing but pitch black like the face he gave when he saw mori

your getting grounded <3

"Out of all people...out of 8 billion people, sister😀" "I-i-i-i i can explain"

he then looked at fyodor with the ugliest angry face ever "YOU FUCKING RAT HOW DARE YOU WOO MY SISTER WITH FEHUYOUR UGFLY AHH RATUTILLIE NO RIZZ MANIUPULATION I AM GONNA BLAST YO-"

damn.. dazai become eminem

the shift mood between to u then to fyodor was so funny

LIKE YALL SAW THE ADVICE FYODOR GAVE TO DAZAI IN THEIR CELLS? THATS A BIT--- UM YANDERE??????!!

"BROTHER CALM DOWN I WAS NOT MANIUPULATED TF-" "THAT WONT STOP ME FROM MY MANSLAUGHTER ARC" "WHAT?--"

#siblinggoalsfr

fyodor honestly only glared at him with a smile that said "If they annoy you, go for their sibling"

dazai YANKED Your arm taking you back to you apartment and just stared at you as if you got a B in maths

uh oh...

So YEAH after hours of not being able to calm him down he finally accepted!

Dazai gifted fyodor a dead rat in a helicopter after he accepted you guys😍😍😍

No bcz i think u and nikolai would have matching energy--

Nikolai: "Dos-kun bites his nails!" You: "Real except he bites my neck!"

one day ranpo jolted up from his seat with fisheye and slowly turned to you as if you ate his (dead)mother

"Dazai Y/N, you did not..." "Oh yes yes i just did :3"

everybody was so confused like did you steal his snacks or sth???

"like brother like sister i guess...." -ranpo after finding out his bestie is doing unholy things to his enemy

JKJK-

Dazai acted so overdramatic omg- ugh hes so babygirl

"I still cant believe it... MY OWN SISTER DATING-DAT-DATING A STINKY RAT! Wait- WHAT IF YOU GET MARRIED???????!!!!! WILL YOUR NAME BE D-D-D-DOS-DOE RATVESKY?? sis you better let him take your name WAIT NO I WILL NOT SHARE MY NAME WITH HIM UGFYDUTYFE"

dramatic gossip girlie fr

like its literly like

"I took your victory😈" "I took your sisters viriginty😈😈😈"

i am so sorry-WAHHHHHHHHHH- *gets shot in the head by reader for being so dirty*

during gatherings, they just smile at each other protesting in their minds who can take care of u better while your in a chair rollin around and going :3

kuro kuro kuro kuroooo kuro kuro kuro kuro ding luro kuro ding~

until your silly ahh falls! :D

And its just a second of time to see who can cath you first-

Dazais going to turn your wedding into an arson commitment!

"Breaking news!, Depressed man who half the fandom slanders burns down his sisters wdding venue with soy sauce!"

Well... its a funky ride! but hey its fyodor

A/N: i know its short but i tried okay- ENJOY!! i love doing crack if i cant laugh or be happy i will make others happy!! <33

Divider crds: @nikolaismasquerade

tags! @silverbladexyz @riiwrites @chuuyasboner @heartsfourdazai @atlasnessie @atsquie @tojifile @biscuits-lovely-corner @darling--angst

[uceyliyahh]

NOVACANE

Summary: After dealing with a traumatic event in Desiree's past life she decided to keep her heart closed off and didn't have any desire to love again until she met him.

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE, PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

word count: 4378

Jey Uso x Desiree

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh. 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️@pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic

@hunnidmilly @celesteheartsjey @charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @luvrsluxe @4milly @xbriexx @trippinsorrows @yyaktayak

Ø1

"Open up to me mama,"

"Let me show you how you're supposed to be loved, fuck what everyone else is talking about,"

"I want you and only you,"

"Don't hold nothing back from me, don't shut me out of what you're feeling because I am not going anywhere,"

DESIREE A few years back, I experienced something incredibly traumatic while I was with Jayden. During that time, all he seemed to care about was selling drugs with his gang friends or working on his rap album. If things didn't go as planned, he would come home and take out his frustrations on me.

I found myself feeling utterly powerless in my situation with him, but I was incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to move in with my best friend, Bianca. Her kindness and generosity in welcoming me into her home made all the difference, especially since I had nowhere else to turn.

I started to adopt a more indifferent and aloof attitude, particularly when men approached me for my number. I would simply ignore them as if they didn't exist. To make ends meet, I chose to work at a tattoo shop while also stripping on the side for some extra cash.

I made the difficult decision to shut myself off from everyone, especially men, to protect my heart from further pain and the possibility of abuse. That all changed one fateful night at the strip club when I met Jey. He completely transformed my outlook on life, but I was determined not to let him in without a fight.

I found myself at the airport, eagerly anticipating the arrival of my luggage so I could finally catch up with Montez. She had been deeply immersed in her wrestling career, and I had grown quite close to her husband—almost like siblings at this point. As soon as I spotted my bag making its way down the conveyor belt, I quickly snatched it up, ensuring it was indeed mine before heading out to reunite with them.

I took my phone from my pocket and sent a quick message to Montez, informing him that I was heading outside.

IMESSAGE 💬 Desi🖕🏽: Montez I'll be outside waiting on you Tez😀: aight then little girl bring yo' slow ass on mane Desi🖕🏽: yk sometimes I just want to punch the hell out of you? Tez😀: whatever I am taller than you honey so relax with all of that Desi🖕🏽: you're so annoying honestly you better be here Tez😀: aight

I wheeled my suitcase toward the airport exit, eager to step outside and await Montez's arrival. Finding a nearby bench, I settled down with my luggage, patiently anticipating his appearance.

I grew up in Texas, where I had the chance to explore the beautiful countryside during my childhood. As a teenager, I moved to North Carolina, and now I find myself living in Tennessee with my best friend.

While browsing my social media, I noticed that Jayden has sent me a follow request on Instagram. This is the same person who frequently creates new accounts or uses different phone numbers just to reach out to me, all in an attempt to harass me.

He faces numerous charges, particularly concerning domestic violence, yet his mother foolishly provided bail money to secure his release. I used to hold a great deal of respect for both his parents, but that changed after the incident when he assaulted me.

As I mindlessly scrolled through my social media, oblivious to the fact that he had followed me, a sudden honk from a car broke my concentration. I glanced up just in time to see a sleek Mercedes Benz arriving at the airport. When the window rolled down, I was surprised to see Montez behind the wheel.

"Yo! Desi!" He yelled while waving his hand.

I flashed him a warm smile as I tucked my phone into my pocket, rolling my luggage alongside me toward his car. He stepped out from the driver's side and wrapped me in a hug before lifting my suitcase and placing it in the trunk.

As I swung the door open and slid into the car, I noticed him returning to the driver's side. He climbed in, fastening his seatbelt just as I secured mine.

As he drove away from the airport, we headed towards their house, which was an hour's journey from our location. It promised to be a lengthy drive. Montez had some music playing softly in the background, creating a pleasant atmosphere. Meanwhile, I gazed out the window, taking in the diverse landscapes and neighborhoods that surrounded us.

I believe I made just one trip to Tennessee to see Bianca, and that was during my time with Jayden, when I was pleading with him to allow me to visit my best friend.

I broke the quiet in the car by saying, "I really appreciate you letting me stay with y'all, Montez," and he responded with a warm smile.

"Girl, you're more than welcome to stay with us, Bianca couldn't stop talking about you," Montez responded.

"Why are you here instead of going all around the world with your wife?"

He chuckled at me, "I had to come pick you up Desi since Bianca couldn't due to her schedule but after I drop you off to the crib I gotta catch a flight," I listen attentively while nodding my head in the process.

I thought I would be home alone until they returned from their events, considering they are professional wrestlers. To make the most of my time, I secured a job at a nearby tattoo shop and strip club, ensuring I wouldn't have to spend my days job hunting.

I was offered the job immediately because of my previous experiences back home. I'm optimistic that my time at the Strip Club will be smooth and free of any drama, considering how things typically unfold in that environment.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ Montez had just dropped me off before heading to the airport to reunite with Bianca for their upcoming events. As I settled into my room, I began unpacking my belongings, carefully placing everything in the dresser to keep things neat and organized.

I treated myself to some adorable work outfits for my shift at the club tonight, and I have a strong feeling I'll earn a good amount while I'm there. As I was getting ready, my phone buzzed on the bed, and I quickly picked it up to see a message from Bianca.

IMESSAGE 💬 Binky💗: Hey Desiii just checking in Desi🫶🏽: Hey! Yes I am just now settling in atm Binky💗: that's good how do you like the room? Desi🫶🏽: it's really nice and the bed is comfortable too Binky💗: I'm glad when I come back imma show you around even though you been here before probably forgot all of the places 😭 Desi🫶🏽: probably do need a refresher ngl 😭😭 Binky💗: don't worry girl I gotchu fr you start your new job tonight? Desi🫶🏽: yeah I hope it don't be no drama 😒 Binky💗: yeah I feel you on that I will see you when I get back have a good day at work Desi🫶🏽: kk girly 🤍

I wrapped up organizing my clothes in the drawer and glanced at my phone, realizing I still had a few hours before I needed to head to work tonight. Deciding to save some cash instead of splurging at the airport, I made my way downstairs to whip up a quick meal. After all, those airport prices can really add up!

Bianca's house captivated me with its stunning aesthetic. As I stepped inside, I admired the decor before heading to the cabinet to gather ingredients for my meal. The cooking process began, and I felt inspired by the beautiful surroundings.

I learned to cook on my own because my mother was often absent, while my father was more present in my life. By the time she returned when I was about seventeen, I felt a disconnect and didn't want to forge a relationship with her. It just seemed uncomfortable.

My father was a dedicated worker who always ensured that we had food on the table and everything we needed. I had hoped for the same commitment from Jayden, but instead, he neglected me and treated me poorly.

I almost lost my bond with my father due to Jayden being rude and aggressive towards him but I finally made the decision to leave him without him knowing.

. His threatening messages and calls created a sense of fear about what he might do to me. However, now that I am away, I refuse to let those past experiences affect me any longer.

I finished cooking my food while heading towards the living room I sat the plate down along with my drink grabbing the remote as I turned on something on the TV.

As I sat in front of the television, a thought crossed my mind: if I hadn't experienced everything I did, would I ever find love again? Would I have the courage to open my heart to someone new?

I often doubted whether anyone could truly understand me. I considered myself a fractured spirit, 'or at least that's what I believed.' I constantly reminded myself to guard my vulnerability, convinced that opening up to anyone, especially a man, would only reveal their indifference.

I believed I had finished my meal, so I stood up from the couch and made my way to the kitchen to clean my dishes. After washing them, I loaded everything into the dishwasher for a thorough clean.

I returned to the living room to catch the rest of the show playing on the TV, hoping to squeeze in some sleep before my shift at work tonight.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

JEY As my friends and I made our way to the strip club, we were excited to catch a glimpse of some incredible performances and, if fortune smiled upon us, maybe even enjoy a little fun ourselves. Once we stepped inside, our attention was immediately drawn to the mesmerizing dancers on the pole, all while the pulsating music set the perfect atmosphere for an unforgettable night.

We settled into the luxurious satin couches, enjoying the view of the girls. I casually spread out, my gaze fixed on them, playfully giving them a light tap on their backsides before slipping some cash into their outfits.

A girl named Ke'liyah approached me and started dancing on my lap. As I observed her movements, I couldn't help but notice how I instinctively reached for her waist. She was attractive, though perhaps not as stunning as I had initially imagined.

The guys were encouraging me to fuck her, which I wanted to do because she was all up on me like this, while she was kissing all over my face and neck, which made my dick a little firm in my sweats.

Feeling her tongue against my ear before whispering, "Come fuck me with that big dick of yours," she said as my eyes became dark and filled with lust.

As she stood up from my lap, I slipped her some extra cash while she took my hand and led me into a private room. The cheers from the guys echoed behind us, prompting me to roll my eyes. I knew this was just a one-time experience, after all.

There was one girl who truly stood out to me; I had never noticed her before, and she seemed like a fresh face. Her radiant chocolate skin shimmered in the light, and her outfit perfectly accentuated her figure. As she applied lip gloss and adjusted her hair, she exuded a captivating charm that was impossible to ignore.

As I began to take in her features, I found myself already in the private room with Ke'Liyah. She had closed the door behind us, and my focus shifted entirely to her as she approached, the sound of her heels echoing in the stillness of the space.

I seized her by the neck, pressing my lips against hers with an intense passion. As our tongues intertwined, I lifted her by her thighs, carrying her to the bed. She eagerly tugged at my shirt and waistband, adding to the electric tension between us.

Very impatient I see I didn't waste no time I took off my shirt along with my sweats and boxers as my dick spring up hitting my stomach.

I gently withdrew from the kiss, guiding her head down with a firm yet careful hold on her hair, ensuring my grip was secure as she began to pleasure me.

As her tongue was swirling around my tip bobbing her head up and down I thrusted my hips inside of her mouth caused me to groan in pleasure, I clenched my teeth gazing down at her seeing her take all of me inside of her warm mouth.

The warmth of her mouth wanted me bust a nut inside of her throat so fast but I needed to be in that pussy first probably been with a bunch of guys before me lucky for me I brought protection.

"You like this daddy?" She muttered. I nodded my head while I guided her head back down on me.

I pushed my dick deep inside of her throat causing her to gag on me seeing tears forming in her eyes, "mhm, just like that baby," I cooed while forcing myself not  to nut inside of her throat.

She continued to suck me up good as I kept guiding her movements on my mushroom tip, I didn't want to nut inside of her mouth—not yet so I pulled her away from my dick pushing her on the bed on all fours.

I needed to be in that.

I pushed her panties to the side while putting on a condom before sliding into her harshly and began beating her shit up, this girl didn't mean anything to me only the one that caught my eye.

It was something about her I couldn't catch before coming in this room it almost looked like she just kept to herself and didn't interact with none of the men unless it was a lap dance, I need to come back up here to see her.

I kept pushing my dick deeper inside of her as her moans were filling up the room while I pushed her head in deeper into the bed listening to her muffled moans in the sheets.

"Ouuu daddy you're so deep,"

I didn't respond while pounding her shit into an oblivion while feeling my dick twitch inside of her knowing that I was about to bust soon.

All I could think about was shawty only her I hope she'll still be here when I leave this room, I quicken my pace inside of Ke'Liyah while she was screaming from the top of her lungs.

She was enjoying this way to much, too much for my liking since I had her head mushed in so I didn't have to see her face, I felt myself letting go as I came inside of the condom.

I pulled out from her while removing the condom from my dick seeing all of my semen inside of it, I got up from the bed placing inside of the trash can before getting myself together.

"That was quick," Ke'Liyah commented.

"Yeah, I got things to do shawty," I said while putting on my boxers along with my sweats.

"Seems, like you weren't enjoying it," I didn't respond to her as I grabbed my stuff and walked out the door leaving her dumbfounded.

As I stepped out of the private room, I noticed the guys still mingling with some girls. My focus shifted to the captivating girl I had watched earlier, dancing on the pole in a way that was unlike anything I had ever witnessed before.

She twirled gracefully around the pole, defying gravity as my gaze remained locked on her, utterly entranced by her beauty and talent. The moment our eyes met, a magnetic connection formed; her gaze held mine unwaveringly as she executed a flawless split, effortlessly transitioning into a sultry move that left me breathless.

I glanced down and realized I was aroused by her actions. I made my way to the stage, unable to take my eyes off her. As she approached, her hands explored my body, igniting a desire within me to discover everything about her.

She stands out from all the other girls in this club. As she took a seat on the stage right in front of me, she put on a captivating performance that I truly appreciated, playfully bringing her curves close as I reveled in the moment.

I gently pressed my lips against her chest for a fleeting moment before she stepped back. Seizing the opportunity, I wrapped my arms around her hips, drawing her nearer. With a tender kiss on her neck, I leaned in to whisper sweetly in her ear.

"What's yo' name mama? never seen you around here before," I whispered in her ear.

"Desiree, and you?" she said softly.

The atmosphere was alive with the vibrant sounds of 'Spin' by Megan Thee Stallion featuring Victoria Monet, creating a perfect backdrop as we locked eyes, lost in the moment together.

"My name is Joshua but people that I'm close with calls me Josh, or Jey whatever you want to call me Ma," I said.

Her smile lit up her face, and I couldn't help but think how adorable she looked. As she kept working her magic on me, I softly traced circles on her backside, savoring the moment.

I admire her body she had a great body shape everything hugged her so perfectly.

"Joshua huh? You're handsome I must say but I have to go," Desiree said as she got up from the ground, but I stopped her in her tracks.

She looked at me with a confused expression as I handed her a wad of cash along with my number tucked into her clothing. After gently kissing her hand, I said, "I'll see you again, princess," watching her walk away. I couldn't resist admiring the way her curves moved in that outfit.

I walked back over to the couches seeing the guys smirking at me.

"Yo, Uce, who was that shawty you was just talking to?" Zilla asked.

"Aye, all bets are off with her Uce," I said as I seen him roll his eyes at me.

"Man, fuck all of that, sounds like you tryna get with her and I'm tryna hit for real," was he fucking serious right now?

I just waved him off like I didn't listen to him as we continued to stay at the strip club for a little longer.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

DESIREE As I slipped into my usual attire in the locker room, I couldn't help but admire the stack of cash I had earned for the night, particularly the bills from a guy named Joshua. There was something uniquely intriguing about him—something that set him apart from every other man I had ever met.

There was something unique about his presence; it seemed as if he genuinely wanted to reach out to me. Yet, I reminded myself to guard my vulnerability and keep my emotions in check around men. It simply wasn't worth the risk.

I sensed a shove from behind, and when I turned, I found Ke'Liyah glaring at me, her face twisted in anger. In response, I shot her a fierce look, ready to stand my ground.

"Girl what?" I asked.

"New girl don't be coming up in here tryna still people's man," she said.

I raised an eyebrow at her, "excuse me? Girl he came onto me he seemed more attracted to me than you maybe your pussy wasn't good enough," I retorted as all of the girls kept their mouth shut.

I kept waving the cash he had handed me before I stepped off the stage. "Check out all this money he gave me! Did he share any with you? I doubt it—looks like you didn't impress him enough, Liyah." The more I provoked her, the angrier she became, but honestly, I couldn't care less. She was acting like they were an item or something.

I returned the money to my bag and zipped it up, but just then, she shoved me hard, igniting my anger. In a swift motion, I grabbed her by the hair, pulling her closer so our eyes locked in a fierce stare.

"Don't fucking mess with me bitch because I'm not the one," I shoved her harshly on the ground before heading out the door 'god why do I have to deal with this shit today over a man'

I climbed into the car, tossing my bags onto the backseat as I pressed the ignition button of the BMW. Running my fingers through my hair, I navigated out of the parking lot, eager to make my way home.

I reached into the glove compartment and retrieved a pre-roll blunt, seeking a moment of tranquility. With a lighter ready in my hand, I sparked it up and took a deep puff, letting the smoke ease my tension.

As I lit the candle and started my hour-long drive home, I turned on my favorite playlist on Apple Music. Yet, for some strange reason, thoughts of him kept swirling in my mind, refusing to fade away.

His striking features and the way he tenderly kissed my neck sent shivers down my spine. The sensation of his hands exploring me ignited feelings I had never experienced before. This level of affection was entirely new, and it left me utterly enchanted.

Not even from Jayden

He treated me with such calmness and tenderness that it surprised me he didn't lead me to the private rooms for intimacy. I could sense his arousal pressing against me as he drew me nearer, yet I couldn't help but wonder, 'why didn't he engage with me like the others did?' 'Why was he showing me this kind of affection? ' My mind was racing with these questions, desperately seeking clarity.

After what felt like an eternity, I finally arrived home. I retrieved my bag from the backseat and switched off the BMW with a simple push of a button before stepping into the house.

I used the key Montez had given me to unlock the door, then slipped off my shoes and neatly placed them on the shoe rack beside me. After closing the door securely, I made my way upstairs.

I stepped into my bedroom, closing the door softly behind me. Exhausted, I collapsed onto my bed, the weight of the day pressing down on me. As I rummaged through my bag, my eyes landed on his number still saved in my phone. A thought crossed my mind: 'Should I reach out to him?' I quickly dismissed it, telling myself, 'No, Desi, don't be foolish.' Yet, despite my better judgment, I found myself pulling out my phone and starting to text him.

IMESSAGE 💬 Desiree🦋: hey...is this Joshua? It's Desiree from the club? Joshua💵: What's up mamas I see you finally text me did you make it home? Desiree🦋: yeah I did Joshua💵: that's good but what's up? Desiree🦋: I wanted ask you something bout Ke'Liyah if that's okay? Joshua💵: im all ears baby

These nicknames were going to kill me if he didn't stop.

Desiree🦋: well me and her had got into it because of you saying how I shouldn't be stealing people's mans because I'm new, but did anything happen before you seen me? Joshua💵: I mean...I fucked her ofc but she came onto me I really wasn't feeling her Desiree🦋: oh why? Joshua💵: because she didn't catch my attention like you did when I left the private room Desiree🦋: me? Joshua💵: yes you, you caught my attention dancing like that on that pole Desiree🦋: it's nothing honestly just self taught honestly 😅😅 Joshua💵: mhm you was beautiful asf doing allat mama especially being all up on me like that today man you had me bricked up Desiree🦋: oh?😳 I'll take that as an compliment Joshua💵: but back on track you're saying that she's claiming me when all I did was fuck her? Desiree🦋: something like that I suppose seems like she was jealous to me Joshua💵: you gon' be at work tmr?

Why did he wanted to know that? What was he seeking out from me?

Desiree🦋: yeah to practice some new moves for tmr night why? Joshua💵: might come swing by and holla at you before I leave Desiree🦋: leaving? To where ? Joshua💵: imma professional wrestler baby doll it's my job to travel all around the world Desiree🦋: just like my best friend Bianca Joshua💵: that's yo' bestie? She talks about a certain some to my sister-in-law a lot I didn't know it was you Desiree🦋: yep that's Bianca for you 😭 Joshua💵: well imma let you get some rest beautiful Desiree🦋: kk gn Joshua💵: night 💗

As I reclined on my bed, my phone resting on my chest, disbelief washed over me. I had just texted him and engaged in a deep conversation. 'What was this overwhelming sensation he stirred within me?' 'I reminded myself not to fall for him—come on, Desi, don't be foolish; he's just going to take advantage of you.' Negative thoughts swirled in my mind, and I tried to dismiss the emotions before settling in for the night, having already showered at work.

I switched off the lamp beside me and set my phone on the small dresser, my gaze drifting up to the popcorn ceiling as my mind wandered into a sea of contemplation.

I couldn't let him not now or never no matter how friendly he seemed I'm keeping myself closed off I am a broken soul with a fucked up past trauma.

He wouldn't even know what to do with me I am not a good person to fall in love with.

I can't let him in Desiree don't do it.

As I settled into the bed, my mind wandered, leading me in and out of slumber, gently lulling me into a peaceful drift.

Don't let him in Desiree, don't

NOVACANE

biancabelairwwe, y2kjayden, uceyjucey, and others liked your post.

desifromtheblock: money go all around fo' me 🤭😩 biancabelairwwe: perioddd girl i love the outfit desifromtheblock: @ biancabelairwwe thank you bestie 💗 y2kjayden: you became a whore? No nigga would want to date yo' ass ke'liyahh: girl what fucking ever you just got lucky he'll show up again wanting me not you desifromtheblock: @ ke'liyah bitch go off yo' self before pressing me hon uceyjucey: sexy ass 😩😩 desifromtheblock: @ uceyjucey 👀👀

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A/n: hiiii I am back with another story i honestly got inspired by this book I am currently reading atm which made me want to do this. I hope Desiree could heal or at least open up to Jey soon.

But I hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments below

STAY UCEY

(2.)

[chasedeys]

i saw @cazluvsu make one and i decided to do one!!! and yap about it too lmao

i fear they are. my life now. truly how.

bengals. how can i even begin to explain them. joemarr. but outside of the joemarr of it all. all these fucking men outside of these two who have somehow managed to just. their entire fucking roster. tee fucking higgins. trey. their 23 rookies room. the new rookies. and their insane fucking lack of pr training. their vets. the idea that i have to let go of mike hilton. and joseph ossai. and bj hill. and everyone else. the hell is that. never in my life did i think i'd care for shit like this. anyways may i direct you to my pinned and my live blogging to see what i mean or smth idk. this entire blog is my thesis for my love for them.

oh my heart.............

vikings. aaaaaaaaaaa. yes it was because of beloved pretty perfect pr princess justin jefferson. but then....koc. i didnt even fucking KNOW coaches moved this way 😭. the way i want to. write them fucking. but also. holding hands and living in a bayou together. and sams shit. and like. i watched their social media stuff. and sure i never really got into their roster the way i got into like. the bengals and i don't think i ever will but like. jesus. they're so fucking charming truly every tiktok featuring josh's tiny ass mic is a treat because like. that segment on what's the weirdest shit in your locker and its truly weird like my coach is hotter than your coach mug and the hawk statue and the naruto (?) backpack instead of fucking months old cornbread rotting in the back. thats some good shit. also i think their locker room is the best LMAOOO actual healthy lighting that doesn't sting the eyes and they have like a little fireplace??? its so cute they sometimes plop down there and do their mini mic interviews there aww. also cams cellyssss that have gone viral as hell. cuteeee.

lions. i get that like it's like so weird to deeply adore teams from the same division but please look away 😭 god i blame casey for this they're soooo <33333 jah and montyyyy they're so cute hello. hello how can i not adore them 😭 jamooo and amon ra who speaks like 10 billion languages no that's an exaggeration sorry but like. my thing for wrs and also he's suchhh a bitch and when people get so fucking annoyed about it i get 😭😭 and also enamored by jared goffs like. 0 aura and miniscule charm lmao. that interview clip of him getting bracketed by jah and monty lmao and TERRIONNNNN fuck. i knew NOTHING about him BUT??? he's so???? that rookie dumbassery charm 😭😭😭😭 thank you casey for putting me on the lions and sending me that clip of him falling down the fucking stairs and taking a MOMENT to contemplate his life on the bottom steps lmfao oh my god......and dj reader augughguhg i miss you.....come back but like.....i don't suppose you will......

ravens. again....division rivals aside.......lamar jackson........derrick henry.........ive written my thoughts on them lmaoooo oh but i need to learn more of their roster </3 don't fw their defense i can't lie LMAOOO but like. kyles a cutieee auguhguhg and marlons tweets on his cat being a MAN have been truly hilarious. looking very much in anger when facing the bengals though 😀 the multifacetedness of like. sports watching and rpf. which. is multifacetedness a word which word is the correct word sorry idk but basically. oh my heart is correct for this tiers title 😭. its so fucking funny im sorry they're all in the same afc nfc north division what the hell am i on about. i think this could be like. the tier below too? but like. i know exactly how i know them and how they've bewitched me 😭 thinking again the lines between this tier and below. are blurred. but anywAYSSSS.

not but how. do i know them. how have they bewitched me.

cowboys, panthers, texans. right so the reason they're not the tier below is because i ship a whole lot of them. cowboys jesusssss micah/tre oh my god. ceedak. well i know only these 4 clearly but like. they're soooo. i read a micah/tre fic of just. insanity. am patiently waiting for a chapter 2 truly adore micah and trevon (WHO'S SO FUCKING PRETTY BTW.....so pretty........so confused on how people say he's not as pretty as stef. diff type of pretty but PRETTY NONETHELESSS how. the fuck. am i not looking at the same person or. 😭😭) <3 and ceedak! though i don't fw their fics in ao3 mostly because its doused in infidelity and i am just. not that. i do fw them soooo well goddd just did a whole spiel with casey abt them and joemarr bc of the pfw aus tennis open thing that was fun <3 and panthers bryceeee i adore himmm bryce/cj bryce/andy insanity and like. xavier who's soooo fucking charming and the rest of their roster who im still learning. that you leave that baby alone clip 😭 cute as hellll dare i say their oline would burn the earth down for him etc etc. and texans!!! cj babyyyy and stef.....truly his insane lore. to this day still being written holy shit he just can't help himself can he 😭 will he be at the weddi- ANYWAYS. tank and joe mix. derek stingley jr lsu bb whose one single comment on ja'marr's ig that one time endeared himself so firmly to me too etc etc. begging for a probowl interaction bless. so anyways. tier of their own <3

👉👈 1-2 have enamored me i fear

giants, commanders, jaguars. grouping these three together yeah you guessed it because of the 2023 lsu trio soulmatism lmaoooo. truly the only reason they're in this tier sorry 😭 god jayden/malik are so. and btj who's the only one ja'marr hasn't followed back apparently 😭 what is in the waters in louisianaaaa but anyways isn't it so fucking cute how malik and btj came to jaydens first playoffs game like....are u fucking serious......nevermind how maliks literally divisional rivals 😭 SOOOO compelling how they're drafted in the same division btw LMAOOOO playing each other twice.....Nice.....the Narratives of like. the giants possibly drafting A Very Nice Very Good Very Handsome Very Insane QB that might replace the shit out of jayden is like. hm. hhmhmhmm. i have. Thoughts (didn't shedeur throw with malik in the middle of the street at night lmao). BUT ANYWAYS. moving on. ALSO. like. there's that clip of jayden bullshitting on how he's faster than malik and btj and the two scoffingggg 😭 REMINDS ME OF HOW joemarr shits on each others speed sm does he shit on justins too im sure he does god that's cuteee what is WITH qbs and their wrs and shitting on each others speed ANYWAYS AUGHGHG SORRY-

browns, steelers. divisional rivals which is mostly why im so taken with them i can't lie lmaoooo. like. something so prideful about being from the afc north idk. and like. saying shit like 'thats afc north football babyyy'. snow game like i even understand what snow feels like lmaooo. the fighting dirty aspect that pisses me off and honestly delights me at times except how it doesn't bc like where the fuck is our (bengals) defense. where the fuck is it. anyways opoy being 2 from the bengals 2 from the ravens?? amazing. dpoy having one from bengals, browns, and steelers. mvp from bengals and ravens. like that's so. the fact that no one from this fucking division has one division champ for three straight years (and browns has won. none. which. well.) which is fucking. ridiculous. i am so fucking done with this division goddddd. but like. so heavily enamored truly <3 also i adoreeee grant delpit 😭 because of lsu. and that ja'marr and him started commenting on each other's ig again after the game that's like. so cute. to me. G mf $.....yeahyeah thats hard........cute as hell how old are you two...........let me keep you.............and also najee harris <3 top three beautiful nfl men (with ceedee and fred, excluding my bias of joemarr 😔)

chargers. blame their social media presence truly UNMATCHED. daiyan henley........hand in marriage. right the fuck now. no really. their kicker is cute as hell, justin herberts refusal to like. appear in camera is charming to me i can't lie, their team's chemistry is honestly so cute! wish i knew more to actually like. know more abt them lmao. but again. their tiktok videos. unmatched. if the bengals and the rest of the nfl PLEASE learn from them......

bills, eagles, niners, dolphins. casually-ish? beautiful men and rpf standpoint RIPE with it. stosh.....😭 keon coleman my beloved how are uuuuu lmaoo. aj brown ehehehehe i do think i ship him with jalen idk they're cute as hell the book thing is still so fucking hilarioussss HOW do they keep digging themselves a hole making people doubt their friendship is the thing 😭 jalen made a stupid joke how he's never once saw aj read and i do NOT think ANYONE LAUGHEDDDDD meanwhile aj (whos fucking gorgeousssss btw oh my god. oh my god...) showed a reporter his lovingly underlined and highlighted book and it got sold out im crying they are not real people akdkljkslf they KEEP putting themselves in these Situations also devonta smith who looks all but 12 oh my god and saquon <3 who's fucking gorgeoussss with his dangly earringggggggg aaaaaaaa love me a man with a dangly earring. also sydney lol i suppose he'll get a ring first (wink wink nudge nudge but aggresively FLY EAGLES FLYYYYY!!). and niners frock <3 fred warner beautiful gorgeous fred warner and brock purdys insane loreeeee. i also got enamored by deebo lmaooo he's so fucking 😭 girl learn whennn toooo shutttt the fuckkkk uppppp 😭 god that was. his shit was so. ANYWAYS. dolphins tuaaaa!! do you know that tiktok of like people reacting to him running and sliding after he returned from his concussion ir 😭 crying. another coachfucker btw.....hilariousss to be typing this abt tua bc in my head he's wayyyy softer abt it than jjkoc 😭 mike augugughhh he's also like. very endearing. and speaks in a very 'girl are u high' manner. the way he reacted to news of people dressing up as him was hilarioussss.

idrk them tbh

broncos, seahawks, packers, titans, jets, rams, bucs, bears, raiders, cardinals, falcons, saints, patriots, colts. i don't really know them 😭 like i do know several players on them and like am enamored by a lot of them! but like. that's it. no vesting interest. idk. bo nix, ps2, dk, jaire alexander, jordan love, tb and chido ofc i misssss them ugh, davante, sauce, garrett, puka, caleb and rome, maxx, kyle murray ig, jb3 whom i also misssss wow, oh clyde, etc etc etcccc. not much vesting interest? other than like. oh you're gorgeous oh you're talented oh hey i follow you oh hey ja'marr likes you (lmao) but then. well.

why is there hate in my heart.............

chiefs. ..............look. i swear. LOOK. GODDDDD. i swear. i did NOT hate them 😭 even that second game. i was like. holy shit. isiah pachecos fucking. gorgeous. damn. (see: my ja'marr/pacheco thoughts.....that i still think to this fucking day 😔) i didnt even think i could find it in me to be an actual sports fan that could hate a team BUT THEN. 0 to fucking 38. i don't even care if it was against third strings that shit is DIABOLICAL 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 hate. hateee in my fucking heart. travis coming up in his fuckass podcast (i like jason btw 👉👈) how he'd play them in a walmart parking lot and that shit had me in tears they WOULD is the thing 😭 ja'marr would honest-to-god organize that shit himself 😭 god. godddd i can't even. but anyways. rpf standpoint......😔👍 compelling. and the recent game. ehEM. anyways...fuck the chiefs............

anyways. what brought this on. who even knowssssssss.

[alaskan-wallflower]

isn't it so funny each lyric in little brother makes you feel more and more depressed as it goes on? like they were not playing with that song

like that entire chorus i-

little brother - KILL ME. LITTLE BROTHER?? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

sorry i failed you - NO STOP YOU DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG PLEASE

i could not save you - its not your job 🥺 i know you think it is but youre a kid oh my gosh 🥺🥺🥺

no i cant even save myself - no. stop now. you shouldnt have to save anyone. you are 17. please. i

little brother - FINE YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO KILL ME I SEE HOW IT IS

they cannot hurt you anymore - but you can hurt meeee with this sonnnnggg

and they can not take anymore from me - wh- whAt do yOu MeaN 😀

if i ain't got you then i ain't got nothing else - im doing so good rn guys 😁😁 dont i just look so happy

and dont even get me started on the bridge oh my gosh

no good to run away??? thats all ive ever done????? do it for ponyboy???? do it for johnny cade???? JOHNNY I AM COMING HOME?????? CAN YOU SEE ME NOW?????????

anyways. this song has a death grip on me.

STOP FOR REAL 😭

joshua boone you are a FUCKING KING for that one like you fucking dropped this 👑

i swear it’s SO depressing and the end literally gives me full body chills like i listen to the outsiders when i work out and that song just holy shit-i will blast it into my headphones i don’t give a shit. it’s more appalling LIVE TOO LIKE AGHHHH

also PLEASE if anyone wants to talk about the musical, MY DMS ARE W I D E OPEN-so is my info’s like don’t be afraid to shoot me a message or an ask!!

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 8/23

What am I feeling today ?

Just so unreasonably tired. I don’t even understand why because I went to bed early and definitely got enough sleep. Because I’ve gotten up so late I’m just frustrated at myself because I was supposed to do a lot since I’m traveling for the whole weekend. But in better news, I’m looking forward to spending some time in Pittsburgh before the semester starts🫶

JOB 23 + 24 NIV

‭‭Job‬ ‭23‬:‭2‬-‭7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

““Even today my complaint is bitter; his hand is heavy in spite of my groaning. If only I knew where to find him; if only I could go to his dwelling! I would state my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments. I would find out what he would answer me, and consider what he would say to me. Would he vigorously oppose me? No, he would not press charges against me. There the upright can establish their innocence before him, and there I would be delivered forever from my judge.”

I can, in a sense, understand where Job is coming from but it seems to be so incredibly prideful to me. Yes, Job was a righteous man. But to ask for a personal audience with God to argue with Him about what He has done😀 I mean, grief can truly drive you insane but wow it’s just baffling (but then again, who’s to say we wouldn’t react the same way in his situation.

‭‭Job‬ ‭23‬:‭10‬-‭12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside. I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.”

I feel that regardless this is a lesson for us in what we should do. Not to depart from His commands and to treasure His words far more than anything else on this earth.

‭‭Job‬ ‭23‬:‭15‬-‭17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“That is why I am terrified before him; when I think of all this, I fear him. God has made my heart faint; the Almighty has terrified me. Yet I am not silenced by the darkness, by the thick darkness that covers my face.”

He’s so real for this because quite honestly, as loved and treasured as I feel by God, I also greatly fear Him and His power because He quite literally has the ability to do anything and everything (and as good as God is, immense power has always scared me).

‭‭Job‬ ‭24‬:‭13‬-‭17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

““There are those who rebel against the light, who do not know its ways or stay in its paths. When daylight is gone, the murderer rises up, kills the poor and needy, and in the night steals forth like a thief. The eye of the adulterer watches for dusk; he thinks, ���No eye will see me,’ and he keeps his face concealed. In the dark, thieves break into houses, but by day they shut themselves in; they want nothing to do with the light. For all of them, midnight is their morning; they make friends with the terrors of darkness.”

A stark difference between being in the light or the dark. A lot of evil lurks in the the darkness and we as disciples are meant to be in the light and also be a light for all those that we encounter.

‭‭Job‬ ‭24‬:‭22‬-‭25‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“But God drags away the mighty by his power; though they become established, they have no assurance of life. He may let them rest in a feeling of security, but his eyes are on their ways. For a little while they are exalted, and then they are gone; they are brought low and gathered up like all others; they are cut off like heads of grain. “If this is not so, who can prove me false and reduce my words to nothing?””

I love this! Basically saying that yes, people can be established and comfortable and secure in this life here. But it’s a false assurance because they do not have God in their life. When their life ultimately ends, all the comforts of earth will add up to nothing in comparison to what God can give us. Truly, they are choosing between a nice life here versus eternal life with the Father.

[chaos-is-beautifvl]

𝐢 𝐬𝐩𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐞𝐲𝐞...

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: eddie munson x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you think your “tiny” crush on one d&d-playing, ring-wearing, poodle-rivaling brunet goes unnoticed until you’re confronted in a pizzeria of all places

𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠: fluff, cursing (possible overuse of ‘shit’), excessive and shameless but respectful staring lol, dustin being a good wingman (wingboy? idk), mike being a little shit, & mentions of weed

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3370

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: didn’t think i’d be joining the eddie munson band wagon but he and joseph quinn have stolen my heart & won’t give it back || i just finished vol. 2 … i am not okay 😀 i hope you enjoy & feedback is golden so let me know what you think! feel free to send me a request, guidelines here

buy me a coffee ☕️!

Eddie is different. And not because of his long hair with fluffy curls that could rival a poodle. Not because of his affinity for using his hands to make devil horns in that same poodle-rivaling hair. Not because he likes D&D, smokes weed, or does any of the other bullshit people find a reason to dislike.

Eddie is just different. But in the best way possible.

Like Steve, you had been roped in as mother hen number two, caring for the little troublemakers. It was comical how often they came looking to you for help when the other mother pawned them off on you, dubbing it “your weekend”.

It didn’t bother you. Like at all. In fact, you were more than comfortable with playing house. You would like to say that it’s because you have nothing else to do, but that is only partially true. There are a million and one other things you could be doing than waiting to catch a glimpse of Eddie “the freak” Munson.

And, yeah, maybe you are paying too much attention to someone who has hardly shown you interest; but life is short. Why not spend your time ogling?

You ogle discreetly - you never stare for longer than three seconds. Also, you always try your hardest to stay engaged in the ongoing conversation to not draw unwanted attention. While it may be a bit much, the plan is yours, and well, it works.

At least, it usually did. You blame the kids. The day had been chock-full of taking the little gremlins two towns over to get their sticky paws on the latest version of a video game, which resulted in your car breaking down. Then you had to get it towed and blah, blah, blah. Needless to say, your day had not exactly gone to plan.

Your day was a bit stressful, and who wants to feel stressed? Certainly not you. So, to feel better, you do what you have to. And it does its job. You decide to allow yourself more than three seconds to stare respectfully. What? You still have manners.

Staring at Eddie is like going to an art museum. You stare at the art because it captivates you, right? In your defense, Eddie Munson had captivated your attention on more than one occasion.

The thunking of the dice rolling on the table was followed by a collective groan. The frustration gave you the perfect opportunity to look back at Eddie. His head was tilted back in a hearty laugh as what he previously predicted came to bite the group in their asses. You wanted to feel bad for the kids, but he did warn them, so whatever happened was their fault. 

You were too busy window shopping to hear the repeated calls of your name. You pulled yourself out of your daydreaming, noticing Eddie staring at you. Wait... Not just staring at you. Eddie was staring at you, staring at him.

You quickly turned your gaze away from his brown eyes, praying to whatever higher power was out there he hadn’t seen you ogling him the entire time. Clearing your throat, you turned to Dustin, “Yeah, what’s up?”

“Uhh, nothing.” The words came out way too fast, and you furrowed your eyebrows. Obviously, nothing meant there was something.

“Okay...” You felt your eyes drifting over to the brunet, poodle-rivaling D&D player. Before you could embarrass yourself any further, you stood up, the scraping of your chair against the floor directing all attention to you. Yeah, not really the effect you were going for.

“You guys hungry?” Simple. Effective. Mom hen-ish.

The group sang choruses of yes and omg, I’m starving. So, naturally, you were spared humiliation when you took a vote and landed on pizza. They were nearing the end of their campaign, and you knew they would be both hungry and tired afterward.

Just before you made it out the door, Mike called you back. You sighed, hoping he wasn’t trying to change the pizza order. What he said instead took you by surprise. “How are you gonna get there? I mean, your car is toast - like burnt toast. Like really burnt."

You narrowed your eyes, resisting the urge to roll them. Why did he feel the impending need to remind you of the hot shit you were already wading through? Michael Wheeler, everybody! The kid who gives no fucks!

“I can just get it,” Eddie suggested, leaning forward with elbows resting on the table. His hair was released from its ponytail - if it could even be considered one with its looseness. You found yourself staring a bit too long, directing your attention back to his face, where you discovered a cocked brow and tiny smirk tugging at his lips.

“Or!” Dustin shrugged, tilting his head back and forth. “You could just go together.” He sent a slightly sympathetic look to his older friend, “No offense, Eds, but you’re pretty shit at remembering things. Besides, who is gonna help you with all those boxes?” Dustin did an enthusiastic drum roll on the table, smiling, “Y/N! She’s pretty strong.”

-

You were trying to be strong; you really were. The ride into town was awkward, putting it mildly. You realized that it may have seemed rude to have your entire body facing the door and not to say a word, but being in a tight space, so close, you were trying your hardest not to stare.

Once the pizza place came into view, you quickly hopped out of the van as soon as he unlocked the doors. Your feet dragged you over to the entrance before you could stop them, and you felt bad when he reached over and held the door open for you.

You muttered a small thanks. Any more words, you would probably have exposed your silly little crush. 

It was mostly empty, and you took your time staring at the posters and writings on the walls, attempting to not stare at the one thing (or one person, to be exact) you should not be looking at.

But eventually, like they usually did, your eyes wandered over, and you found yourself staring at Eddie again. It was beginning to become a problem at this point. And that was further proven when he started talking.

“Hey, Paul, how ya doing? So we’ll get two...” Eddie squinted his eyes, tapping the counter with his fingers as if that would speed up the recollection process.

You snapped out of your stupor and stepped forward. “Hi, could you get us four pepperoni pizzas and one supreme?”

“Right.” Eddie clasped his hands together, nodding like he was the one who remembered, not you. “Four pepperonis and one supreme. Right, right, right.”

Paul jotted it down on his tiny notepad. Not looking up, he mumbled the price, and Eddie stopped you when you went to pull out your wallet.

Leaning on the counter with his elbows and hair sweeping over his shoulders, he flashed a grin at the boy. “Paul, my man, you remember that time you got some-” 

The brunet glanced at you, “substances... a.k.a. weed from me." Eddie coughed, whispering the words out. “And, you didn’t pay because your mom took away your allowance since you wouldn’t clean your room? Remember how I let it slide?”

Paul looked around the pizzeria nervously, hoping no one was listening. Once the coast was clear, he nodded, swallowing.

“Yeah, well, now is the time to pay. Soooo,” Eddie tapped his fingers on the counter as he straightened. “We’re gonna get these pizzas on the house, and you don’t have to worry ‘bout paying me back. Cool with you? Great! Go get ‘em, bud.” He patted Paul on the shoulder, sending him scurrying away to the back.

You watched the entire exchange with wide eyes. There was something so wildly attractive about Eddie taking charge, even if he couldn’t remember a simple pizza order. You thanked him quietly, again sure that if you said another word, it would be your inevitable downfall.

A silence settled over the two of you. Continuing to stare at the art on the walls and the work of art standing right next to you, you tried to recollect yourself. Though Eddie was probably a gift from whatever higher power was out there, your obsession was getting out of hand.

Sure, he might be nice to look at, but you weren’t some middle schooler who just figured out what crushes were and how exciting they could be. You were older and more rational and-

Before your affirmations could take off, a voice pulled you back to the present. You turned to see Eddie facing you. He chuckled softly, noticing that you weren’t paying attention to a word. You were stuck up in your head somewhere.

“Sorry, what?” You felt sheepish. Not only had you repeatedly stared at him like he was on display with you watching through the window to see if you wanted to try him on, but he had caught you doing so. Your zoning out and ignoring him was the cherry on the insurmountable pile of shit you were digging your way out of. If there was even a tiny chance in hell that Eddie was interested in you, it was now flushed down the drain for how rude you have been. 

“I said, do you wanna sit down? Probably be a while till Paulie boy is done, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want to stand the entire time.” He shrugged, “Or, maybe you do. Who knows?”

“No, sitting sounds good.”

It wasn’t. The first couple of minutes were treacherously slow. Maybe your communication skills were terrible or maybe your eyes couldn’t stop staring at the tiles on the floor. Either way, the silent thing was not working, and you honestly felt so bad that Eddie had to put up with you.

Apparently, Eddie was as discontent with the awkward silence as you were. After humming and tapping his fingers on the table to a song oddly resembling Cherry Bomb by The Runaways, he leaned forward.

“Let’s play a game.”

A what? “Huh...” was your dumb reply. In your defense, you were still stuck on him knowing that song. Doesn’t he only listen to metal? At least, that’s what you heard during your stalking hours, which are anytime you two were in the same vicinity.

His laugh caught you off guard, but in a pleasant way. “God, you really are in your head a lot, aren’t you?” Warmth rushed to your face, and you suddenly felt like he had placed a spotlight directly on you.

“I- uh- I’m not-” You are so embarrassing. That thought was followed with a mental facepalm because what the hell were you saying.

“I’m sorry. That must be pretty annoying. What game did you have in mind?” Good, there you go. Normal speaking like a normal human.

Eddie watched you with interest, rolling his lips so the amusement begging to show would remain hidden. Ignoring the laughter bubbling in his throat, he made a circle with his hand and put it to his eye.

“Let’s play I Spy...”

You stared blankly for a few seconds, letting it marinate. Eddie was humming a song suspiciously similar to something you would have never guessed the brunet to be into. He also wanted to play a game. With a tilt of your head, you expressed your bamboozlement.

“What?”

“Oh, okay. You don’t know- Basically, the way the game works is someone finds something and-“

You held up a hand, halting his speaking as you chuckled. “I know what I Spy... is, Eddie. I just- You actually wanna play that? Or are you, I don’t know, just trying to fill the silence?”

He stared at you quizzically, and you figured you had said too much until he shook his head. 

“Nope, I wanna play. So, you in, daydreamer?”

“Sure.” Why not? What could possibly go wrong? 

And the game began. First, it was small things like something black and white. The floor tiles. Or something red. That one took Eddie a second because the two of you were in a pizza place where almost everything was red. But it was the jukebox collecting dust in the corner.

Then, things took a turn for the worst. Well, correction, they weren’t that bad (only slightly), but boy, did they take you by surprise. 

Eddie was next, and you were a bit nervous as he had given you surprisingly difficult, specific things to find. His brown eyes looked around the pizzeria before they landed on you, accompanied by a mischievous glint and a conspiratorial grin.

“I spy...” Eddie paused for dramatic effect, putting you on the edge of your seat, “with my little eye...”The brunet winked at you, and you mentally cursed whatever higher power created him. One simple gesture had you wishing you could stop window shopping, go into that metaphorical store, and take him home.

“A person.”

...

Is he serious?

“Wearing black.”

Is he talking about himself or...?

“Who is always stuck in their head.”

That’s oddly specific.

“And...” His grin morphed into a smirk as he squinted his eyes at you. You doubt he realized he was enunciating the purpose of the game. “Andddd is a little stalker.”

Can you guess who he’s talking about? Ding, ding, ding. You! We have a winner! Or maybe, this isn’t as much of a win, considering your crush (ahem, obsession) was just exposed.

“I can totally explain-” Could I, though? “I am so sorry.” That was partially true. You felt bad but who wouldn’t want to stare at Eddie Munson. “God, you must think I’m such a creep.”

Your worried rambling was cut short by the most angelic sound - Eddie’s laughing. You wished the ground would open up and swallow you whole. He was laughing at you. Laughing. You swear you have never felt as embarrassed in all your years.

“I think I’m just gonna go...”

Wait, how am I going to get home? Walk? Nah, too far. Hitchhike? Too dangerous. I’ve seen enough TV and newspapers warning against that to try it myself. I may be obsessive, but I’m not stupid. Wait, maybe I could-

Eddie covered his mouth, attempting to hide his laughter behind his hand. He shook his head, his face tinting red as he composed himself. “No, no. You’re- God-” He started laughing again. “You’re just, uh- it’s kinda cute, you know?”

Cute...?

He interrupted before you could ask what exactly that meant. “You probably think you’re pretty discreet, right?” Well, you did at first. But now, it was obvious that you had not been. “It’s just- it’s kinda obvious. Like the whole looking, then looking away, and the whole daydreaming thing.”

Oh. Were you really that obvious?

“C’mon, don’t be so embarrassed.” Eddie peeled your palms off your face. You looked up to see a wondrous sight. His face was reddened from all the laughing, and a wide grin had broken through the surface.

“Don’t be-” You pulled your hands away, pouting as you slumped in your seat. “Of course, I’m embarrassed, Eddie. You weren’t supposed to find out.”

This was torture.

“So, if I hadn’t called you out on it, you would keep doing it?” He caught you there.

“Well- um...” There was no way for redemption, so you shut your mouth. It was bad enough that he’d caught you, and you definitely didn’t want to make the situation even worse because your mouth wouldn’t stop moving.

Eddie watched your internal battle with an overly amused interest. Had the situation been different, you probably would have given him a piece of your mind. Instead, you sat in your seat, brows furrowed and lip jutting out as you tried to alleviate the sticky mess you found yourself in. 

“Look, Eddie, I’m sorry, really.” You took in a breath, “I completely understand why you might be creeped out and-”

“Hold on, wait.”

You stopped talking, finally turning to look at him. And, no, not like that. You were too embarrassed to enjoy the view. 

“You don’t think I’m actually mad, do you?" Your silence elicited an incredulous look from the brunet. “Do you?” A halfhearted shrug was your reply.

Sensing your embarrassment, Eddie stifled his laughing for real this time, ducking his head to look at you. All your previous thoughts about not being a crush-obsessed middle schooler were flushed down the clogged drain of your problems. It was silly, but you wanted to cry at how embarrassed and, quite frankly, mortified you felt. 

“Hey... you know I’m just messing around, right?” He scoffed, “Hell, I’m an attention whore so all your staring is going straight to my big ego. Do you realize that?”

A soft chuckle and a shake of your head made Eddie smile. “No, really. I’ve just been soaking it up. I’m a real glutton for praise, but hey, maybe next time, you should ask me out before undressing me with your eyes.”

You gawked at him, finally meeting his gaze. While you weren’t expecting him to be okay with it, it was an even bigger shock for him to say that.

It seemed that the gods or whoever was out there decided to end your misery. Or, they were sick and tired of you embarrassing yourself. Either way, Paul set the pizzas on the counter, calling the two of you over. 

“Oh, would you look at that? Our pizzas are done. I’m gonna go get them...” You mumbled out the last couple of words as you hurried to the counter like a dog with its tail between its legs.

Eddie watched in astonishment and amusement as you somehow bundled up all five pizza boxes in your arms, kicking the door open with your foot.

Dustin wasn’t kidding about you being pretty strong. Not that five pizza boxes are a whole lot. But still, Eddie was impressed.

He turned to Paul, who was wearing a similar look. “She’s pretty cool, huh?”

Paul could only nod, rubbing the back of his neck. Before the boy went to answer the ringing phone, he muttered and shook his head, “They make an odd couple.”

-

The two of you made it back, Eddie carrying most of the boxes (which he said was part of him making up for the immense teasing). You weren’t as discreet with your staring now. Why would you be? The cat was out of the bag, and you had a pending date with the person who opened it.

Dustin, who sported a shit-eating grin, remarked how Eddie could drive you around until your car was fixed. You realized that the little shit had orchestrated the whole thing. Not the car breaking down, but you and Eddie going together. You weren’t complaining, though.

A week or so later and the date came. When Eddie picked you up, you asked if you could play some music. In the glovebox where he kept all his cassettes and CDs was a mixtape with a song you knew all too well.

If you couldn’t guess, it was Cherry Bomb by the Runaways. Yeah, you aren’t letting that one go anytime soon.

[idle-compy]

alright!! I am done for tonight

here's my defintely super comprehensible live thoughts while playing

** SPOILERS BELOW **

DARIUS I MISSED U

SHIT

oh nvm thought I killed him already

ben why u running off

TO GO EAT BUGS OF COURSE

DARIUS NO

MY BOY

I KILLED HIM

DO NOT CHOOSE RUN NOW

ooh they mentioned owen

who's the old guy

probably good time to mention I haven't seen any of the jw movies so if he's relevant I have no idea

heck yeah I'm bringing bumpy

WHY DOES MY AUDIO KEEP CUTTING OUT EVERY TIME I MAKE A DECISION STOP

nothing good ever happens in the tunnel so we're going to main street !!

I DIDNT LIKE THAT LOOK

SHIT BLUE

BEN WHY DID U SPLIT UP MAN

HA BUMPY SAVED HIM I CHOSE RIGHT BRINGING HER

MAIN STREET

oh no it's rexy

OH NO SHE FOUND THE KIDS

wow they're bad a hiding

DARIUS DO NOT GO AFTER THE PAGE SIR

darius THIS SEEMS LIKE A REALLY BAD IDEA

ben actually excited to drive the gyrosphere

wow ok he rear ended yaz and sammy license revoked sir

DAMN YAZ IS TEARING INTO HIS SOUL

a fine example of my road rage tho

YAZ SAMMY NO THEY'RE GONNA BE CRUSHED

sorry ben not trusting u ramming that gyrosphere sounds fun

WAIT NO

I SHOULDVE TRUSTED U BEN IM SORRY

now he's dead 😔

my current kill count is 3 I am doing very bad

THE CONSTANT NABS AT DARIUS AND HIS SMELL

that sounds like a clue for later can't wait to forget it

TNE TARBOS BACK

heck yeah coaster time

KENJIS FACE

they've been steady making fun of the parks safety protocols and ykw as they should

darius u are NOT jumping in that water

I guess he IS jumping in that water bc if he doesn't they all die

TARBOS BACK AGAIN ???

oh nvm she left

kenji was so confident 1234 would work

AND THE TARBOS BACK AGAIN GEEZ

THE ANSWERS 2005 I GUESS RIGHT

the way I'd immediately move into that bunker

this brimford man already has more outfit changes than the kids

he straight talking truth tho

theyre so happy :')

----

GONNA RESTART but choose everything different

so either choice darius just fucking falls

OH BUT DIFFERENT CAMPERS FOUND HIM

sorry bumps ir staying behind this time

dang they found the paper so much sooner without her

aw darius gave her hope her pack was still alive

SPOOKY TUNNELS

oh everyone's fighting

"I could tell a joke or hit em with a super cool dino fact" DARIUS UR SO PURE

yes sammy use that corn maze sense

KENJIS GETTING SAVAGED BY THOSE THINGS GEEZ

"raptor rats"

I saw sneaking past in a clip I'm retacing their steps

OH GOD I KILLED DARIUS AGAIN

guess they're NOT retracing their steps

"did u know ankylosauruses like mangoes 👍😀👍" "I did not 👍😀👍"

NOT THE CAR BEING A RIDE

everyone else on the ride: 😒

sammy and yaz: 😀

WHY DO CARS ALWAYS FLIP WHEN YAZ IS BEHIND THE WHEEL

TORO BABY ITS U AGAIN

"I'll be fine! ... probably"

DARIUS BUD I KNOW I CHOSE THIS OPTION BUT WHY

WHY WOULD THEY LOCK TORO IN THERE WITH THE TARBO SYOP TORTURING HIM

THE DRUMROLL I DIDNT GET THAT FIRST TIME

ben said forget eating bumpy gets mangoes

going back again just to see what escaping before going in the bunker does

oh they still survive ??

but they didn't get any food :(

"what one food would u want in it"

"coffee"

"I could go for a carob juice"

"teriyaki beef jerky"

"can you freeze dry pizza"

"canned lobster in butter sauce"

"I'd go for my mom's famous..."

crying

[loyal-logik]

❓ — three adjectives that describe you

🤔 — what genre(s)/theme(s) do you struggle to write the most?

😁 — what’s your favorite part about being part of the rpc?

😤 — what do you dislike the most about being part of the rpc?

🎧 — do you write while listening to music/podcasts/videos/etc, or do you need total silence?

🤗 — are there any rpc mutuals that you’d like to meet irl?

😀 — are there any rpc mutuals that you’ve met irl before?

💖 — what was one of the greatest/happiest moments you’ve had in the rpc?

😳 — what was your most embarrassing moment in the rpc?

🎁 — what have you accomplished in the rpc that you’re proud of?

// ... luv ya 💛🤣 *runs!*

Munday meme

❓ — three adjectives that describe you

Ethical, determined, blunt. X'D Honestly, it's so hard to say 3 things that describe me, because I am many things. I am many good things, I am many bad things lol. I do have a real sense of justice and I believe in a good work ethic, and it bothers me when people have poor work ethics. I'm determined when it's something I'm very passionate about, and sometimes when I know it's just something I HAVE to do, and I can be exceptionally blunt. Some people have said it's something that they've always appreciated about me, but I also know it has its bad moments...

🤔 — what genre(s)/theme(s) do you struggle to write the most?

I struggle mostly with scenes that have already been written. I don't know what else to do in a scene that has already been written when someone wants to RP it. To me, the scene has happened already? So... I don't know, I just hit a brick wall with that one, lol. Others is fighting scenes, because in RP, it's difficult as fight scenes are incredibly quick paces. That's hard to do when you're writing with someone else and trying to stretch a reply to meet a certain standard, but in reality, it's just filler. Fight scenes are action packed which means they should be faced paced. In a fic, I can deal, but in RP, it's a lot harder. Also, there needs to be a lot of communication to determine strength, and the amount of times I've had people try and beat down one of my very powerful characters just makes it awkward af. :/ People need to be aware of power advantages and disadvantages, and the overall strength of a character, and some people get very butt hurt when their character is the weaker one. :'D

😁 — what’s your favourite part about being part of the rpc?

Getting to interact with all of you, of course! Getting to meet new people and make new friends, getting to learn about those people, getting to watch others interact and back and forth with each other, and have a joyful dash that makes me happy. I love people sharing their headcanons, I love learning about their OC's or hc about canon muses, I love the art, I love the ideas bumping off each other etc. Honestly, just getting to interact with you all is a real delight and it's one of the best things about RPing.

😤 — what do you dislike the most about being part of the rpc?

The drama. Thankfully, I've always been pretty drama safe. I stay away from people who give me red flags, and I legit just am not around enough to be a part of that drama (I may also distance myself because of this tho). That's not to say I've not seen things or even had bad experiences--I have! I think the elitism is a real issue here as well, where people value aesthetics over actual writing. I'm here to write, I'm here to read, and while I absolutely love a good looking blog and enjoy the use of icons, aesthetics prove nothing to me other than you like pretty things and have good taste in pretty things. It doesn't say anything about your writing. I think that people just need to chill out and enjoy their hobbies, not cause a stink every time someone does something they don't agree on. In saying that, I also hate the idea that someone can be entirely 'cancelled' because of a silly one off mistake. We all make mistakes, and many people on this website are young and inexperienced. People change, people grow, allow them that chance instead of running them off the internet. Just unfollow and don't interact, it's pretty simple. :/

🎧 — do you write while listening to music/podcasts/videos/etc, or do you need total silence?

I am ALWAYS listening to music, lol. Music is one of my biggest inspirations as a writer and as an artist. Whenever my PC is on, it's playing music. XD

🤗 — are there any rpc mutuals that you’d like to meet irl?

I'm fairly new(ish) in this community here since my very long absence. I legit don't think I know anyone? Maybe some folks remember me due to my art? I don't know, but I think a lot of those people left the fandom and moved onto new things. So not yet...? But in my other fandoms that I RP in, absolutely! I have made some wonderful friends who I'd love to meet.

😀 — are there any rpc mutuals that you’ve met irl before?

Not RP mutuals, but friends from the fandom, yes. :) I was lucky enough to go to America a couple of times (since my partner is from the states and my mother in law still lives there), and while I went, I got to meet some of my friends in the TF fandom like a solid decade a go lol. I would love to revisit, but... money (: and time lol.

💖 — what was one of the greatest/happiest moments you’ve had in the rpc?

I think the general support that my mutuals have given me, and the friends I've made. I used to be a lot more active in the communities where I RP, unfortunately time, health, all of that has made it a lot harder for me to be around (and others), but maaaan some of those nights I'd stay up and just talk all night? Those were amazing, and I do reminisce on them at times. They were so fun. I had so much TIME to myself, and so much inspiration to draw and write, and that feeling made me feel very alive in a sense. Now I'm just another zombie trying to survive adulthood lol.

😳 — what was your most embarrassing moment in the rpc?

Pfffffff, I have no idea? lol. Probably me making stupid typos or answering a question wrong lol. I will laugh at most mistakes I make, but they can be embarrassing still. Outside of that? I honestly have no idea... I'm sure I've made a fool of myself multiple times lol.

🎁 — what have you accomplished in the rpc that you’re proud of?

Answered this one already :)

[erensnubs]

:( its supposed to be the most joyous time of year and its the worst i have ever felt

My family in the PH literally dont have running water, barely have food and no internet and Im only hearing day to day things about them since its so crowded at public places for them to charge everything

I have to deal with the recurring weight of family members always asking me if I have bf and fake smiles and smile when i tell them "yes tita I am getting all a's.... No tita i don't have a boyfriend" *insert uncomfortable laughing*

My mom and dad have been fighting again over money and over me and my siblings so yay 😝😝

And ofc the unexpected curveball, the one that tipped the tower (can u tell im trying to cope through the overdramatisized explanations?) the only person i have truly loved, wasn't a rebound and wasn't afraid to be with has thrown me in the trash and is dating someone else 😀

To top it all off they're acting completely fine about it and just so so happy and committed in their perfect little relationship like they didn't reduce me into nothing and made me wanna kms but yk who cares😊😊😊😊😊

ANDDD since im a smart cookie i found out that this has been going on for more than just 2 weeks 😍 😍😍😍

And here's the funny part I ACTUALLY WITNESSED THIS IN PERSON I JUST DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS HAPPENING RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES

so like im just sitting in bed and i connected all the pieces together like wow good job tina for being so smrt 😁

To top it all off I feel like some of my friends don't remotely care about what my feelings about this situation 😝😝 they just get super uncomfortable 😝 and say the usual "oh im so sorry blah blah blah" 😝 its like people don't actually care about me hahaha 😝

But enough of the bad stuff here's things that went well that made my whole christmas season:

my little brother having his 1st Xmas with the family!

I got a drumpad for xmas and canvases and money to get fabrics to make some pj pants and pillow cases !!! AND A PASTA MAKER

I'm also gonna surprise one of my besties for xmas!!

Got lost in the woods while delivering cookies djdjsks

My sister and I watching a new sports anime and simping for all the sweaty 2d men 😩

Cleaning my whole room HEHE

Starting on my own DIY calendar! I painted a scene from howl's moving castle for January

My bar chords are so much better since i've been practicing more guess u could say im good with my fingers 😏

Another bestie being petty with me about romantic fiasco situation (should I call it that?) and let me cry during a party with them and made me laugh about it

bestie posting about me on her story to make me feel better djsslal

And there's so much more but its been rough... These past 2 weeks. But I'm getting better! And I will continue to get better! Hopefully

[namisuki]

Why does art have to be this way? THE RAPE OF WHAT

.. THIS IS WORSE THAN RAPE OF NANJING. yo. This is the only time that this will come out of my mouth but some piece of so called art is trash. There. Foul mouth I said it. I saw so many beautiful art in Beijing.. 798..i.. Miss it! I wish I could upload it on IG or somewhere else because they deserve to be seen.. And I am "entitled"lol. To see it for myself too. Haha. It's funny. Why do we post things on if anyways?! FOR me it's just a way of expressing how I really feel about a certain event or situation.. But it changes with time. U see. I like photo galleries too.. Hmm. I might just let it fall like lawine? Avalanche again. Sigh! My heart feels freer again.. But.. Idk.. My heart is still a bit achy and my skin is dry.. Because I'm thirsty (not that one) so I need some more water. Thanks. I need to start writing in my bulletjournal more.. And. Uh. Clean my gallery. Phone gallery space space space is dying aaaaaahhh. Save meer... 👽🛸🧳📴🌴🇺🇸🌞 I want to go to the other side too. Hmm. I had so many opportunities but I let it slip like my slippers because I was afraid of what I can do in this life time. Does this sound weird? Probably not... Because it is something all human beings go through but.. Yeah.. Anyways.. Whaaa.

I need to talk to the therapist? Nah maybe skip this line for now because I know it is crucial to be helped if I can't save my own mental chatter right? 🥺🤢😵😬🤯🤪 But what if this is not wrong at all and these dialogues (chatter) just serve as mirrors for reflecting on who we truly are in the inside? Namely not this chatter. Duh. U know what's funny. I never liked to talk irl.. Hm.. Ok. Maybe I do but I never loved smalltalks? Haha. Unless it is needed because.. Some... Times.. Actually most of the time... Speech is nothing if it is not well-guarded. So I need to shut my mouth now and return to who I am truly... Before I got.. Contaminated by my own greed for some level of "fame" on anti-social media platform. 😂. Because. Who cares. Lol. I cared. I thought I was doing something amazing in terms of helping people but I drowned myself and it's not a pretty picture 🏄‍♂️🏄‍♀️🏊‍♀️🏊‍♂️🚣‍♂️🏊‍♀️🏊‍♂️🏊‍♀️ teehee! Actually do whatever u want and I will do whatever I want! That's the kind of free we all need, 😊😊😊🤝😆😆💬0h man, u talk so much.. 😉😉💬 Seizure. I love you. I actually don't know why I do these things because normally I couldn't care less about this*insert curse word*at all before that *curse word* happened and I am truly just a sensitive soul just like anyone else.. More than I can admit. And more than anyone else out there that is trying to be strong willing to admit either (' ; sooo let me chase after my dreams of being able to use my voice for more than vomiting my mental emotional and spiritual? Chatter again! Yeshueayeua! I miss my soft mornings.. Wallowing into my soft dirty pillow.. Eeeew. 😂.... I just want to hear the birds chirp again and I feel safe in its presence trying to dive into my personal space like that is not good! 🎤🐰🎭🐱🤝🐻👂👂👂👂👂👁️👃👁️👂👂👂👂🎵🎶🎶

@.. Aaaaa.. But only one person can come through this bubble without my permission.. Idk who allowed him to give him this decree but hey. ERIC u are the man. 😂🤣🤣. I'm an embarrassment to this world and the sharks should eat me.. So eat me now. 🦈🦈🦈💸💸💸. Ok. I need to Staaaawp 😂😂😂😅😅😗😗😙😚🤗😆☺️😆😘😊😒☹️🙁😖😞😰😱🤪😰🤒😡🤯... Eh

🤪😕🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃😶😐😚😍😘😁😅😀🤕😥🤭☹️ I'm tired. All I want is a soulmate hanging unto every word I say but even my own soul gets tired of my lack of substance. P. S. I don't love alcohol but I used to like the taste of Malibu & baileys because of the exotic flavours but only if it is "mixed" with 🍊🥛😊😊😊😚🤗🤔😍😆😍.. Aha. OK. Why am I sharing so much? Idk. I just want a free world. Free the world of its stupid conventions without deteriorating our morals s'il vous plaît! 🥕🌽🌶️🥒🥬🥦🥨🥗🌯🍼🥛🍯.. P. S. The only reason I liked those mock tails was because of the fruits. Fruity flavour but hey. The prices are overrated but I should start adopting a more wholesome and.. How do they call it... Idk just the right way of viewing money & relationships. Do they go well together

Some couples do. Some don't. I fall in.. Neither. Nam single aaahh hahahaha and ready to 👴🤝👵💬 Let's play bingo until the day we die..? No.. We have more important things to do

. Save the world 🌐from its malnourished minerals perhaps? ☮️🎶🗾🧭

My compass will lead me somewhere to Asia. Someday. But somehow. It's calling me to stay in Euphoria /🇪🇺/Europe first before I go to..Do a bunch of things on my laundry-like list so I can finally plan my way ahead towards the wild wild west...🏁 🤠🐴🐎🏇🏜️

With my Nampyeonie! Haha. Or maybe without. Hmm. Whatever. I say.. But actually I can feel it in my waters.. It's tickling my feet.. It's going to happen

😗😉😉😉😆😊... 🐾🐱🤗🐻👣👈 U can tickle mine.. Sure. Ok... Anyways. I have to stop revealing all my secrets. Because my biggest secret is that I have none.. Maybe. None. 😐😑😶🙄🤨🤔😏😣.. Hehe. 😸.. I want a cat on my lap. A dog or puppy in between my.. What... The duck.. 🦆.. Hahaha. Ok. U know what's weird. It's not me being dirty it's the connotations that comes with certain way of wording things u know...? 🤔😑😪👉I hate this dude, 🤤 this 💩needs to go.. Jk.. 😋 This is also..hmm. A bit better but idk... 😝😜😛😛😛😛😛 This looks better. Jk. 👈😢

I should stop judging & start living my own life. Who cares what others do? Well.. Not me apparently so I should start caring more. I swear this whole event got my real self dying. But.. It got saved by Mr. Nam's Euphoria & BTS's 🐰🐇🍪. Hmm. I want to feel like a "lady" again. Can I say this? U make me feel this way ^_^(^o^)(^_-)... Haha. Almost 9 am

I'm out

The Rape of the Sabine Women, 1583, by Giambologna (1529-1608)