#but its incredibly hard to want to keep posting it when i told shit like this.

[starsofthestorm]

unpopular opinion. maybe we should stop attacking people for having pronouns or gender headcanons that differ from canon for fictional robots.

yk. just maybe. maybe it isn't that big of a deal if five pebbles is transfem in an au. maybe it's not that big of a deal if suns is he/him or he/they or they/them or even she/her

maybe we should. stop fucking doing that it's pronouns in a fictional fucking game.

[simp-ly-writes]

The Comment's Section (pt.10)

─────── · ·

Pairing: Spencer Agnew x gn!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: an epilogue (no spoilers here!).

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, slowburn, fluff, light angst, cheesiness, friends that act like lovers, friends to lovers, mutual pining, attempt at humour, social media au, officially lovers.

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | PART SEVEN | PART EIGHT

─ · · A/N: my last smosh fic! thank you all seriously for all the support. I wouldn't have written as much as I did for the fandom without the comments, reblogs and tags I have had the pleasure of receiving. I may come back once I get through the creative burnout i'm feeling for smosh but who knows! Anways-uh... enjoy!

─────── · ·

A few years later...

🔔 (name)s_username just posted for the first time in awhile, check it out!

─────── · ·

Liked by phatchance, spennser, glen_powell, and others

(name)s_username Never really been much of a secret just how much I love my best friend that I can now, officially, call my husband 🫶

Thank you, Spencer, for dealing with my bullshit, for calling me out, letting me cry on your shoulder, yell in your face, eat everything in your fridge and yet still find ways to love me, all of me, and never make me question it for a moment. Thank you, my love, for showing me what love can feel like, what it can look like, and how it can be practiced.

It does not feel like twenty years have gone by but then again, I see you everyday and now I get that with the promise of forever. I love you and that is something I will never take for granted.

*No pictures from the wedding, sorry everyone but I'm keeping those for myself, friends, and family :-) Have roadtrip pictures instead!

View all 11,301 comments

spennser gosh, I didn't know we were hard-launching already?!

↳ (name)s_username babe, we did that nearly five years ago... 😬

username01 I will NEVER get over these two! 😭 I want a love like this! Its been so incredibly beautiful and fulfilling watching you two interact on screen together, congratulations! You both deserve nothing but happiness! #(yourshipname)isforever

username31 why is nobody else commenting about that last picture 🤣

co_mill you have me inspired to re-new my vows! Gosh, I remember meeting you both for the first time and seeing that initial re-spark and to see it, to celebrate it now, gosh-bestie you have my crying. I'm so happy for you both 🫶 #(yourshipname)isforever

↳ (name)s_username you have me sobbing now too! and I told myself I wouldn't cry anymore today! 😭 thank you for always believing in us (even when we didn't lol) ↳ co_mill of course! some people are just meant to be, just at a different time. ❤️❤️ ↳ (name)s_username couldn't have said it better myself ❤️❤️ ↳ username24 okay but why is this thread the most wholesome thing on the interweb??? ↳ username00 who tf says "interweb?"

username69 still don't understand why anyone would care about such a terrible person like yourself. The biggest liar is here and everyone knows it- you lie to yourself too.

username31 congratulations!!! 🎉

username12 OMG THEY GOT MARRIED????? 🥳 YESSSS #(yourshipname)isforever

shayne_topp woah! you got married? OMG I did that too!

↳ (name)s_username oh shit really? I'm still trying to figure out if I like this whole marriage thing or not... /sarcasm ↳ shayne_topp ehhh, I mean, I don't know about you but I have a pretty killer marriage. You and Spencer can try... ↳ (name)s_username SPENCER!! 👺 ↳ spennser yes, love? ❤️ ↳ (name)s_username do we have a better marriage than shourtney? 🥹 ↳ spennser I-uh... 😬 ↳ anthony_padilla (psst, just say yes!) ↳ spennser yes! 😄 ↳ (name)s_username see shanye! take that! 😄 ↳ username88 "yes, love" AHHHHHHHHHHH 💞

username33 #(yourshipname)isforever #(yourshipname)isforever #(yourshipname)isforever #(yourshipname)isforever

username29 YESSS LET"S GOOOOO BOYSSSSS!!!!!!

filmingamanda does this mean I can't make anymore "spencer is attractive jokes, now?"

↳ (name)s_username I mean... you're not wrong so I won't stop you 😉

username90 this all feels surreal... but congrats!! 👏

ianhecox proud of you both, truly ❤️

chickenshopdate and here goes another ex of mine getting married. WHEN WILL IT BE MY TIME GOD??? PLEASEEE

phatchance you both looked so beautiful today 🫶

tomeybones wishing you both years of happiness to come!!

username12 I hate you, so much now.

─────── · ·

🔔 spennser just posted for the first time in awhile, check it out!

─────── · ·

Liked by (name)s_username, filmingamanda, and others

spennser today and everyday from now, I get the pleasure of waking up in my spouses arms. if you would have asked me in college that I would be dating a movie star, comedian, writer, and director as talented, smart, and gorgeous as (name); I would have, quite frankly, told you to shut up and fuck off.

Funny how things change, huh? I now cannot think of a singular day without you in it and cannot remember a day without you in my life. I am so incredibly thankful that you fell in love with me, trusted me with your heart up until now and for forever.

You will always have my love and support. My arms to welcome you back home and I will make sure you never question how much I love you, my love and show you everyday just how much you mean to me.

*No pictures from the wedding! Keeping that private, please do not go looking for pictures.

View all 4,220 comments

(name)s_username I love you, so much. 🫶

↳ spennser I love you. 🫶

username01 AHHHHH. 😭 No but like- AHHHHH you GUYsss are killing me here. After years of waiting im now dying here. My heart cannot take this level of sweetness 🫶 #(yourshipname)isforever

smosh #(yourshipname)isforever

smoshgames #(yourshipname)isforever

smoshpit #(yourshipname)isforever

↳ username99 not all the smosh channels coming together LMAO 😂

username24 "So this is love, mhmm, mhmm, so this is what makes like divine~" - (name) x Spencer

username68 babe, wake up! (name) and Spencer actually got married! #(yourshipname)isforever

damienhass you guys are so stinkin' cute 😊

username77 eh. I bet it'll last a year or two before Spencer gets sick of em.

anthonypadilla with everyone getting married im beginning to feel left out...

↳ ianhecox I mean... we could always get married?

username33 I love that this whole post is about Spence being both genuinely so happy the get to call (name) there's but also wondering how on earth he managed to get with (name) too XD

username90 wishing the couple nothing but happiness and respect 🫡

─────── · ·

─ · · A/N: and holy shit! the comments section is finally over! thank you all again for reading this far, I hope you all have enjoyed reading this series as much as I did writing it. 🫶 - I will always think about this lol

─ · · SPENCER AGNEW TAGLIST: @lisiliely @missflufffanfics @little-stitious-studios @thejourneyneverendsx @sibsteria @lizzylynch1 @babble2 @delaneyburghardt @thevintagefangirl @uniquely-haunting @maricarorp @sarahskywalker-amidala @laurasdrey

[gummydummy19]

Hi Gummy👀❤️

um, because of the post you said about just now......

Thinking about Prof!Sherlock Holmes celebrate with you that your exams are over.

Correction: you sneak in his office with a bottle of champagne and wearing the lingerie he gifted to you a few weeks ago... He was very confused at the beginning(

Well, you did celebrate TOGETHER after all.👀😋

Gaahh I would love to celebrate with him! 🥳🫠 Thank you for the ask, jammie! Im very sorry this took so incredibly long and that its a bit shit maybe lol, I hope you still kinda like it :)

His best student

Content Warnings: smut, age gap (not specifically mentioned), college student/college professor relationships (abuse of power, just to be sure), pet names (little one, Sir, baby), smidge of angst for some reason

A/N: This story is a fantasy and purely fictional. I do not condone student/teacher relationships or abuse of power in real life. Since this is pure fiction, everything is consensual. (because it's my fantasy and I fucking wrote it that way)

Word Count: 1.9k +

He was busy grading papers, the usual frown on his face, not even looking up at you as you entered his office...

You eyed him hungrily as you locked the door behind you. "Do you know what day it is today?" you asked in a sultry voice, hoping to get his attention.

You'd been waiting for this moment for weeks, ever since he gifted you that black, lacy lingerie set a few days before your first exam. He'd had it delivered, knowing if he'd handed it to you himself neither of you would be able to wait. The box contained a note, written in Sherlock's beautiful handwriting, as per usual.

"A little gift to get you in the mood. I hope it motivates you, my dear. I expect straight A's from my best student x"

You had never been so excited to study. With your new-found motivation, you propped yourself at your desk, which is where you stayed for weeks. Focused and dedicated.

You hadn't touched yourself once in the past few weeks. Partly because you wanted to stay focussed, but also because you simply didn't have the time. You were so exhausted and mentally drained from studying all day, your back and shoulders were sore from sitting hunched over your desk for hours. When you finally got to bed at night you were so tired you almost immediately fell asleep.

And now the wait was finally over. All your hard work had paid off, straight A's across the board. You were proud of yourself, proud and incredibly horny, ready to collect your reward.

"Uhh...Friday?" Sherlock answered mindlessly, his eyes still glued to the red ink he scribbled across the paper.

You rolled your eyes before clearing your throat, hoping to finally get him to look up at you.

His eyes found yours, they were filled with confusion and a tiny bit of aggravation...until you let your coat fall open. The beautiful black set was revealed and you could almost hear the wheels turning in his head.

"Yeah," you spoke, "it's Friday"

A smirk tugged at his plushy lips, 'it's Friday", he repeated as the realization dawned on him.

"Hmm." you nodded, dropping your coat on the floor with a smile.

You took a few slow steps towards him, never once breaking eye contact.

"Passed all my exams, straight A's just like you wanted Mr. Holmes", you spoke innocently.

"Is that so?" he smirked, leaning back in his chair, his knees falling wider open.

"Uh uh", you nodded coyly, chewing your finger.

You took a few steps closer to him, keeping your eyes glued to his. You debated crawling into his lap and kissing him silly, but took a seat on his desk instead. "So I think I deserve my reward now, don't you?"

He was trying to contain himself a little longer, trying not to show how much of an effect you had on him. But the glimmer in his eyes told you enough. You couldn't help but smile at him. A warm genuine smile that told him how much you adored him and how badly you'd missed him.

He couldn't hold back the grin that broke free on his face and he stood up. Wasting no time before grabbing your face and crashing his lips to yours. The kiss was full of heat and passion. Your hands tangled in his beautiful brown curls before trailing down his neck and fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. It took every fiber in your being not to rip the fabric off him, but you decided to behave. You the last thing you needed was a punishment when you came here for a reward.

Luckily he noticed what you were doing quite quickly, and since there was not much left for you to take off, he decided to help you.

"Fuck...I missed you, little one", he mumbled against your mouth as he undid the final button on his shirt.

"Hmm...missed you too, Sir...so much", you sighed back, your hands sliding over his shoulders, under the fabric of his shirt, making it drop on the floor while your fingers tangled in his hair again pulling him in for another kiss.

The kiss became more heated, more impatient, and you felt yourself starting to buck against the front of his trousers. The growing bulge pressed perfectly against the thin fabric of your panties. The panties that were slowly but surely starting to get very sticky and damp...

He pulled his lips away from yours, only to trail kissed from your jaw to your neck, groaning into your nape once he got there. His large hands trailed up and down your waist, squeezing at your flesh wherever he could.

You wriggled your hands between your bodies, your fingers eagerly searching for the buckle of his belt.

“Need you now…right now…”, you whined as you pulled his belt from his pants, your desperation made him chuckle.

“Hmmm…my perfect pretty princess…”, his voice was low has his fingers trailed down your jaw. Your breath hitched when his hand made its way down your throat, you expected him to stop there, to squeeze it as punishment for being so impatient…but he didn’t.

His hand moved down a little bit further until he pressed his palm flat, right in the middle of your chest. You were sure he felt your heartbeat thumping.

“Lay back for me”, he commanded. His tone combined with the slight press of his hand left little room for arguing, so you did what he asked.

Your back his the cold wood of his desk and you stared up at him. He held your gaze while his hands moved to caress your legs, starting at your knees, up to your thighs and back to your knees, where he held a firm grip to keep your legs spread (as if you needed any help with that?)

You enjoyed every second of it, every single touch, every look…but you needed more.

“Please Sir…”, you whined, “haven’t I been a good girl?”

He once again chuckled at your shameless display of pure desperation. “Don’t frown like that little one, you’ll get wrinkles”

“Then don’t give me a reason to frown.”

Your inner brat was starting to show and you hated it. Not that you didn’t love your bratty side, because you absolutely did, but today it meant that he was winning and you had worked too hard to let that happen.

He was staring down at you with his usual raised eyebrow. “Come on, Mr. Holmes..please?", you tried, your foot inching up his waist until your toes touched the now massive bulge in his trousers. You moved methodically, creating a friction you knew he craved.

"Behave", his voice was stern, no doubt a cover-up for his neediness, but stern nonetheless. You ignored it, continuing your movements shamelessly until he growled. "Enough!"

In a matter of seconds had pushed your legs open again and he was on you. Your wrists pinned to the oak desk just like the rest of you. "I told you to behave, little one."

"Why? When I do you give me nothing", you argued, staring him dead in the eye. "I came here for a reward, but if you insist on punishing me go ahead. Either way, I refuse to leave here empty-handed. I worked my ass off for the past few weeks, haven't even touched myself once. I kept my focus, I got perfect grades, and now I wanna cum. I deserve to cum."

You had never spoken to him that way. Ever.

The two of you looked at each other in silence. His hands still had a firm grip on your wrists and the look in his eyes gave little away. For a split second, you worried you had gone too far. He was still your professor after all, and by far the most intelligent and respected man you'd ever met.

You were simply a young girl who happened to be in his class and sucked his cock the way he liked it. You were nobody. And yet here you were, sprawled on his desk demanding orgasms.

"I'm proud of you, you know that?"

His deep voice broke through the silence and with that also through your thoughts. "Huh?" you managed to get out.

He grinned down at you, but different than before. Less devilish, more pure. "You're right, you worked incredibly hard...and you deserve a reward..."

He dipped his head down, his curls brushing your face as he pressed kisses against your neck and shoulder.

The second you felt his warm lips press loving kisses on your skin your eyes fluttered shut. A relaxed sigh left your lips as you basked in his touch.

“Such a good girl…such a…an amazing woman you…”, he panted out his praises while kissing his way down your body.

You moaned when you felt his warm lips press against your core through your panties, he kissed and licked until he could taste you through the fabric, leaving it even more soaked than it already was.

“Fuck sir…” your fingers tangled in his curls again when he pulled your panties to the side and finally ran his tongue through your sopping wet folds.

He ate you out with vigour, humming and groaning into your pussy like a man possessed.

It wasn’t long before your thighs squeezed around his head and you shook with pleasure, letting out one final loud moan as your orgasm rushed through you.

“Fuck…” you giggled while staring at the ceiling, you swore you saw a couple stars fly around.

You could feel him grinning against your skin as he pressed a few more kisses on your inner thighs.

“C’mere…” your hands grabbed at him again, this time he didn’t even try to refuse. His large body stretched over you and his hands found the sides of your face.

You both smiled into the kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue was always such a turn on. You tasted great together, every time.

It wasn’t long before hunger consumed you again, and you could tell even though he just ate…he was still starving.

Your legs locked around his waist and you bucked your hips up into his bulge, whimpering a little from the overstimulation.

He didn’t need to be told what to do. He grinned as he leaned up. Never breaking eye contact with you while he lowered his pants and boxers, allowing his thick cock to spring free.

“My sweet girl….”, was all he said before slowly…ever so slowly…pushing inside of you.

He dropped down close to you, one hand on your hip, using it as leverage while he pumped in and out of you.

The other one right next to your face, keeping him from leaning his full body weight on you…not that you would complain…

“Fuck…s-sir…” your voice was barely above a whisper given that his nose was practically touching yours.

He pressed a gentle kiss against your lips, “call me by my name…please”.

You moaned and he slowly picked up the pace, “S-sherlock…Sherlock! Oh god, Sherlock”, you pulled at his hair as he fucked you passionately on his desk, fucking you deeper and harder each time you screamed his name.

“Yeah fuck…that’s it princess…shit”, he angled his hips while his hand slid down between your bodies, “cum for me baby…cum on my cock while I pump you full…can’t hold it much longer sweetheart, you feel so fucking good, fuck” his almost whiny tone and desperate look melted you to your core, and so you did what he asked, you came on his cock, hard.

“SHERLOCK! please please please….”, your walls squeezed him tightly and with one final thrust and a guttural groan he came inside you.

Sweaty foreheads and plump lips bumped against each other as you rode out the highs of your orgasms together.

“I love you…I love you”, he spoke quietly after a few beats of silence.

Once to himself, and once to you.

Taglist:

@metalbuckaroo

@princessayveke

@montsepliego

@scxrletrecsmarvel

@hopelesslyrogers

@eclecticpatrolroadlawyer

@tfandtws

@vicmc624

@ahahafudge

@enchantedbarnes

@wickedravyn

@pono-pura-vida

@amayaraestyles

@matchat3a

@fictional-hooman

@sebastianexplicit

@peaches1958

@avengersfan25

@jamneuromain

@tryingtoliveonmywishes

@mrsevans90

@daybreak96

@tiredqueen73

@fallingforunrealisticromance

@identity2212

@randomweirdoss

@ragamuffin285

@juliaorpll78

@geralts-yenn

@imjusthereforliam

@bangtanstoeart

@squeezyvalkyrie

@enchantedbytomandhenry.

@superduckmilkshake

@kingliam2019

@bascmve01

@missgaygurl

@foxyjwls007

@mollymal

@urmomsgirlfriend1

@luxeydior

@beck07990

@liecastillo

@warriormirkwood

@vintage-is-my-middle-name

@lucinapomona

@madebylilly

@nothingbettertosay81

@est1887

[a-memory-a-distant-echo]

ok, i'm being so brave and making the rec post that i told anon i would do like three days ago.

the obligatory caveats. this is not comprehensive—i haven't read all the fic in this fandom, and i've barely looked at anything not in english. my reading habits are pretty broad—i'll read almost any pairing, and am generally willing to suspend my disbelief to do so. i am not usually an au person, though this fandom is doing its absolute damndest to prove me wrong on that point.

also i have…more…fics that i felt i should rec somewhere, so probably this is rec post one, but ten felt like enough and also saying things in public where people can hear me is, it turns out, absolutely excruciating. please no one be mean to me about this post, especially if you wrote one of these fics, because if you are i will simply fill my pockets with rocks and take to the sea, ok? ok.

excited to find out what i manage to do that ruins the formatting, links the wrong fics and/or people, or otherwise breaks things in this post. please tell me if i've fucked up, or if your fic is on this list and you would rather i keep your name out of my mouth, or whatever.

first, a very special mention to the mlc reference guide by @yletylyf. this is such an incredibly comprehensive and generous resource. you want a timeline for this show that does an incredibly poor job of maintaining its own timeline? it's here. you want episode summaries? they're here. you want all the people and places? they're here. if you're writing fic, you want this guide, because it's so much easier and faster than scanning episodes or subs files to figure out the name of one specific guy or whatever. it also means that at least occasionally you work on the thing rather than accidentally rewatching the same scene five times, or hypothetically watching two to four episodes without even really thinking about what you're doing. the reference guide is the unsung mvp of fandom.

beyond porch and portal, difanghua, teen, by willowdream. this is the vampire au that i didn't know i wanted? the author posted it and their note was like 'i'm trying to be the change i want to see in the world,' and i was like ok sure, i'm not really convinced that the change i need is vampire aus, but i'll give it a go, and then i did and was like, oh shit, i'm eating fucking glass about this vampire au, i'm chewing on my own fucking fingers, i'm so fucking normal about this, i need another hundred thousand words of this and also seventeen more vampire aus in my inbox by monday morning. i literally finished reading it and scrolled right back to the top to read it again. i have no idea why this fic hits so hard, but it took me out at the knees. the voices are perfect. something about it is just impossibly compelling.

不安的遠離，再无歸期 | restless distance, without return, fang duobing/qiao wanmian, mature and teen, by @difeisheng. this is technically two fics but they're short and you should read both of them because they're such a brutal, perfect encapsulation of grief, and a really beautiful acknowledgement of the ways that fang duobing and qiao wanmian can be read as reflections of each other, separated by a decade, and it just fucking guts me. i dunno. it's about the grief! it's about the yearning! it's about someone who understands parts of you that you wish didn't exist! i think i've reread this like once a week for the last six weeks and i feel like it gets overlooked because it's not A Ship but like. it could be. it should be.

dance the silence down, fanghua and feihua, explicit, by @momosandlemonsoda. this fic. ugh. ok. i'm breaking my own rules. i had two when i started writing this post: no works in progress, and no reccing things that i haven't left a comment on, like a goddamn grownup. this one fic is breaking both of those rules and i feel bad about it and will hopefully spend like, all day tomorrow just commenting on every chapter or something, but i have to do this. this fic is so good. this fic ruins me. this fic is 63k, still a work in progress, and also if i were losing the whole internet tomorrow and i got to keep one fic in all the world and it was the only fic i could have for the rest of time, it might have to be this one, even as a work in progress. i ignored this fic for so long—by which i mean probably two of the four months since i first watched mysterious lotus casebook—because i was like, i don't like aus, and i especially don't like rock star aus. (or sex work aus, and you're never gonna fucking believe what else this author is writing and what else i absolutely cannot get enough of—this is a sneaky bonus rec for all i wanna do is wrong, another fic that i feel so so so normal about!) but then i was like okkkkkkk but. maybe i'll try it. people seem to be nuts for it. and then i read it and i was like OH HOLY SHIT PEOPLE ARE FULLY CORRECT TO BE ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED ABOUT THIS and normally, honestly, i wouldn't bother posting a rec like this because it's like 'oh haha have you read the five most popular fics in this fandom?' and it feels so redundant, but i know for a fact that a friend of mine who finished watching the show yesterday is reading this post, and even if everyone else has read it, she has not! anyhow as a former music person and a former diner cook, this fic like. i don't know. i feel like it broke me but also fixed me? i literally criticise writing professionally and every time i try to talk about this fic i find myself speechless because it's so perfect to me. i am deeply unwell about this fic. every time a new chapter comes out i sit down and read the whole thing again, yes, all sixty-thousand-plus words of it. some nights you go to bed and you're like 'what's the fucking point?' and then you're like 'no wait, there will eventually be more of dance the silence down,' and somehow that makes things suck a tiny bit less. my wife has made me take out like six sentences from this rec because they're too intense and too weird about it but i need you to understand: you have to read this fic.

in this dream, there is a lover to share this life with, fanghua, g, by @lianhuajing. alternative ending for the end of episode 27, in which li lianhua—precious man who has yet to discover a hill he's not willing to die on—apologises to fang duobing the only way he knows how, and it's wildly upsetting for everyone (but it's ok and it doesn't end miserably, no one panic). this is a delightfully angsty treat, and i love how conflicted fang duobing is in it—i feel like it's not something that i've seen explored a lot, but this poor boy really fuckin goes through it—his best friend and his childhood idol are the same person but are lying to him about it, and his dad's not actually his father and has been lying to him about it, and his best friend/childhood idol may have killed his father, and—yeah, is lying to him about it. like? someone give this poor man a hug and a cup of tea and a snack and a blankie. i love that we get to see some of his internal conflict in this.

quintessence of dust, feihua, teen, by justthereforit. this plays with one of my very most favourite tropes in the world, which is the one where the heart is a physical object and a physical form of trust and control and surrender and—like. this is so good. it's set in episode 13, which is, for me, one of the absolute peak angst points, and it absolutely nails it. di feisheng who's upset and vulnerable and frustrated and angry, li lianhua who knows he's going to die and can't bear the thought that he's going to take anyone else down with him, and they're both just so fucked up. chef kiss. i love it when everyone is emotionally wrecked and continually like 'ok no, i can take one more knife in my soul to protect someone else', and this absolutely delivers on that.

under moonlight, we change our futures yet again, feihua, explicit, by @thesilversun. the wedding room! obviously we have to have a wedding room fic, right? i'm not going to lie: i'm willing to suspend a lot of disbelief for wedding room fics, but in this one, it's actually a wonderfully, horrifyingly plausible setup. it walks a really fine line of keeping people in character, and acknowledging the inherent horror and seriousness of the situation, and also providing some desperately hot sex, and also managing to get the emotional beats of it, too. it has a sequel, which imo really has to be read as the conclusion to this fic, and it's just as good. it's possible that some of what i'm saying here is 'i love vulnerable-inside crusty-outside di feisheng' but like. i do. i love it so much.

what's sealed away, feihua, teen, by @bbcphile. AMNESIA FIC yessssss, a-fei my beloved, fics that handle brain damage/memory issues/amnesia well my beloveddddd. i love the a-fei arc, but i also have had a number of brain injuries and some other stuff that means that my own memory is…not so great, so i sometimes really struggle with how often amnesia in fiction is played off either as nothing to worry about or as a funny thing where everyone's in on the joke except the person who has amnesia. this fic is a great and sometimes very visceral exploration of a horrifying experience, and a really fantastic study of a-fei/di feisheng as a character, as well as the relationship that he has with li lianhua. a-fei trying to balance the trust he has in the sense memory of his body with his understanding of his relationship with li lianhua with li lianhua's reaction to—everything, really—is really well done and wonderful/terrible to read.

我只愿面朝大海 | i wish only to face the sea, g, by foreverstudent. ok so you wanna fuck yourself up some more? go read this. this is canon divergence from episode 39, and fang duobing has learned too well the lessons he's been taught, and sees the shape of things before li lianhua ever touches the wangchuan flower—so he sets about making sure that he won't be able to throw it away. this is agonising and gorgeous and maintains the canon relationships while developing the narrative differently. i wept literal tears. i was like 'ok that's it the worst part is over!' and then i remembered that there was another part coming and then i started crying. anyhow, it is—as ever, with me—about the devotion.

我住長江頭, 君住長江尾 -- i live upstream, you live downstream, fanghua, teen, by @rimbaudofficial. ok so this is Not a fic that i should like, because i am a massive academic failure and despite being in my forties have regular nightmares about having to re-engage with academia for like. any reason. HOWEVER. as noted, i read indiscriminately, even when i'm like 'reading this is a terrible idea and will be upsetting for me personally!', so i was like 'well, how bad of an idea can it possibly be?' and then instead! it was. incredibly charming? it was so fucking cute? the fang duobing characterisation in this is somehow just perfect to me—he's simultaneously confident and vulnerable, and also just so deeply committed to the weird clueless guy who he's decided is meant for him. di feisheng and li lianhua have a perfect weird-bros friendship. i would read another ten chapters of this and i would love it.

[proshippers-against-censorship]

hope what i’m bringing up here is appropriate for this blog. i could try finding any other outlet, internal or outside resources that would help me get through this, but i’m trying not to ruffle any feathers.

so, since last year i’ve been watching something i used to be into when i was younger and participating in its fandom. through rewatching it i found out that i shipped two characters that i always had a noticeable affinity towards, except i realized i like the pairing way more as an adult because of everything i missed between them since i last saw the show. they were paired with different characters by the end and even if it was shown to make more “sense” for them according to the greater fandom, i initially didn’t care because of how much i enjoyed their dynamic thoughout the show’s duration. i felt that it brought out a bunch of discussion to be told whether you saw it the lens of a romatic or platonic relationship. most of what happened in the show’s main timeline could not go on without their involvement, and their individual development arcs kicked off because of the undeniable romantic relationship they tried to pursue at one point.

the big thing about their relationship that apparently makes it a “proship”/comship is the huge age difference between them, and unfortunately that’s unfortunately all what the fandom sees them for. i feel that even when talking about the romantic/sexual aspect of them together and the implications, they have one of the least discussed dynamics i’ve seen of many of the major characters, which doesn’t make sense because they’re both the male and female mcs. it’s always “thank god they didnt get together, i’m sick at the thought of them with each other” even though thats beyond what their relationship was like as the story was drawing to a close. one tweet i saw which was a quote of one which showed a screenshot of the characters in the ship i’m talking about in a canonical platonic showing was something along the lines of “the four people who still ship this must be on suicide watch” which is just an awful thing to think of about anyone.

i do try to feel good about shipping them publicly despite all thats been brought towards me for it. or, at least the nothingness of it. a lot of blogs i’ve interacted with and been interested about following in the past through tag scrolling have blocked me for shipping it. i know this because i always notice that a couple blogs who mainly post about the fandom aren’t on my dash. it’s weird, i don’t even like it as a “standard” underage ship. i’m not saying they’re wrong for keeping themselves safe from things they don’t like, it just glooms me out because i still want to interact with much of the fandom, even if we don’t agree on stuff. i’m too old to be spiralling over these things and activating the sanctification in me i’m trying hard to undo to enjoy my hobbies. why does it even matter to me this much that people block me because they don’t like shit i create or post

with this i feel like anti culture absolutely neuters any kind of intellectual discussion about characters who were in a “problematic” relationship and gone out of it to be part of a standard platonic one. i don’t how unique it is for this ship, but i do imagine that people look into the bad things about it far too much. and hey, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure

(i’m being vague to protect myself from antis who might find me out and send me dumb shit, forgive me)

No, no, you're very right. The rise of anti culture has definitely led to a decrease in having decent, intellectual conversations about pairings in media and how the relationships between characters shift in ways that display incredibly important aspects of their stories.

But that ties back to the loss of media literacy, I fear.

[burins]

2024 WRITING REVIEW

tagged by @vechter !! thank you so much for the tag i will try not to be tremendously maudlin in response! idk if @timetoboldlygo @rolameny or @try-set-me-on-fire did a fic year in review already. Also if you see this and would like to do it genuinely consider yourself tagged I would love to see your thoughts!

number of stories posted to ao3: 7! although two of those and almost all of another were written in 2023. let's say 4.75.

word counted posted for last year: 27k (minus 8k for estate and 3k for unsent letters, so 16k. Which is frankly, a miracle)

fandoms i wrote for: fatt, dc comics, hxh

pairings: superbat, leopika, dinahbabs, alyarr. I also wrote a relatively high proportion of gen fic this year! 

stories with the most kudos, bookmarks and comment threads: everybody loved how cleanly, how quietly (the tim has friends actually manifesto) which is good because i also love how cleanly, how quietly. 

work i’m most proud of (and why): literally anything i got out this year was the product of blood sweat and tears for reasons i will get into later! I’m probably most proud of the silliest fic i published, my love sits patiently, the leopika chair fetish fic. this sprang out of a joke with some friends and rapidly became ungovernable. I’m always nervous writing for a new fandom about whether i have a good handle on the characters, but the entire process of writing this was just me sitting at the keyboard going teeheehee what if! and then putting that into the fic. I think the comedy hits and the prose is good and i managed not to make it too sad (always a danger) while still keeping the leopika sauce in there!

work i’m least proud of (and why): genuinely i don’t publish things I’m not proud of! the really id shit languishes either in my brain, my dms, or in my notes app. so I’m going to cheat by saying a fic i wrote in 2023 but only put up on ao3 in april. it’s estate, not because i don’t think it’s good-- i think it’s really good!! I gave myself a hell of a challenge in writing it (“oh i want to write a shirley jackson pastiche, from the POV of a character I’ve never written before, and also he is a child” <- words spoken by a fool, and a dingus. No one made me do this!) and I think I mostly succeeded. But because it was for a zine I had a strict word count limit, which meant i had to trim down the prose a fair amount and I think it did lose some of its effectiveness in that process. Someday maybe i’ll go through my gdocs and try to resurrect some of the bits I tightened farther than they should have gone. 

share or describe a favorite review you received: i got a lot of really, really thoughtful and lovely comments this year! I feel immensely lucky every time i write something and people like it enough to tell me so. Especially because writing was such a thorny thing for me it was deeply helpful to have people in my inbox going hey, i loved this. sometimes they did literary analysis! incredible shit!!! there are too many to have a particular favorite but someone just told me that they read to the morning come, the post-utrh superbat, a week into their DC comics journey. Which is crazy because that fic obliquely references the time the Joker was the Iranian ambassador, perhaps one of the stupidest storylines in comics. (In hindsight I could probably have come up with a different reason why Clark doesn't let Bruce kill the Joker.) I hope this person has a great time, and also I’m very sorry. 

a time when writing was really, really hard: ha. well. I don’t think this is what the question was intended to get at but for 90% of the year it was physically painful for me to write! my nerve pain came roaring back in december of 2023 and I spent months and months only able to pick at stuff a couple dozen words at a time on my phone, or trying to do bits in voice to text via a truly wild phone to computer situation, or just full of ideas rattling about that I couldn’t do very much with. I try to let it be what it is but it has been a fucking rough year and many many times it made me want to bite. I have ups and downs and I’ll probably keep having ups and downs! i hope this isn’t forever because i really miss getting to lose myself in prose. but at the end of the day we are all just working within the limits of the form and sometimes that has to be more literal than i’d like.  

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: i was originally writing my love sits patiently leaning more heavily on the jokes. But i realized that it is much funnier and also much sweeter if leorio genuinely gives himself a chair thing because he is so horny and emotional about kurapika, so then i had to write them having sex where the chair was integral while not, myself, being into furniture in that way. (i respect our kink warriors it just isn’t For Me!) 

a favourite excerpt of your writing: i’m so pleased with all of the prose in unsent letters from the end of the world, yet another alyarr epistolary fic, but i’m particularly fond of the conclusion. I rattled around a little trying to figure out how alyosha’s voice should sound in these letters after everything he’s gone through. I was thinking a little bit of Leonard Cohen’s final letter to Marianne Ihlen-- there’s a particular certainty that comes with age, and I wanted to allow alyosha some bitterness while still acknowledging that of the various tragedies he’s witnessed, everything with arrell is probably not the top of the list. And also i wanted to stay true to the ending tone of spring in hieron, which is a story about the end of the world and the lives we make for ourselves anyway. 

What I mean to say, in a rather roundabout way for which you are no longer around to chide me, is that I write you to tell myself a story, to determine my own thoughts by writing them down. To make a story, step by meandering step. I did not begin at the beginning, and I have not ended at the end, but I have, I think, come to the conclusion anyway. I loved a false god, and I will never know what, if anything, He loved. And I loved you, Tutor, and you loved me, and it was not enough. But I also loved the world. I loved it enough to change it. I thought there should be something instead of nothing, and I made it so. I hope I was not wrong to do so. From my window I can see children playing, swinging from branch to branch. I do not think I was.

how did you grow as a writer last year: i would like to say that i learned to accept my own limitations and celebrated my victories (getting a fic out for multiple events, getting to a place where I could write almost all of my love sits patiently by sitting down at a keyboard!!!) but that is a Work In Progress. 

how do you hope to grow this year: i really do not want to jinx anything so i will just say i would like to be able to write sustainably, whatever that means for me this year. I suspect it will mean a variety of different things because what counts as sustainable changes from day to day! 

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.): really truly cannot say enough kind things about @suedeuxnim beloved friend beta cheerleader etc. thank you for cheering me on in my dms and keeping me supplied with cat pictures. also, separately, my wonderful spouse. this is a tumblr post, not the oscar acceptance speech, and i suspect they would find it embarrassing if i went on a lot but it makes every aspect of life easier to have a partner in crime. 

anything from your real life show up in your writing last year: funnily enough the chronic pain duo fics were actually written BEFORE the big chronic pain resurgence, and also they’re from 2023. (this has actually happened to me twice, and while i’m not going to stop writing about chronic pain it does feel like maybe i am a little bit cursed.) I wrote two fics about bruce’s parenting choices and their effects on his kids and I think you can do the math! No one gets deeply into batman comics because they’re normal about fathers. Oh, in more fun things, Tim’s calendar from how cleanly, how quietly is based on the very real Daikonic Moments calendar from Omega Mart, which was our 2024 calendar. If anyone has suggestions for a 2025 calendar lmk because we got one for Christmas but it’s all bad mullets and we are not hanging it up.  

any new wisdom you can share with other writers: i spent a non-zero amount of this year feeling bummed that i couldn’t write as much as I wanted, both because writing is one of my main hobbies and also because despite my cool and untouchable image (citation needed) it is hard not to compare myself to others who are able to write much, much, much more than me! But that is silly because I am me and they are them. There have been times in my life when i was the demon of productivity and times in my life when i wrote nothing publishable all year. So my wisdom (still working on the implementation part!!!) is to celebrate what you are able to do and not what you don’t manage. And also, write for yourself and your circle of freaks and you can’t go wrong. 

any projects you’re looking to starting (or finishing) this year: anything i can finish is a win! I have a lot of projects in the hopper from almost two years ago; who knows what will happen. I did sign up for secret samol so there will be a fatt fic forthcoming, and I also signed up for another secret project (no longer secret! I'm gonna be in the Bruce Wayne pinup zine) so there’ll be something else probably in early summer. I would love to finish my jaydick injury fic. i have a second chapter of dinahbabs handler sex, but that one involves a lot of disability feelings and i’ve been putting it off because i want to do it justice. maybe superbat amnesia will happen at some point but that’s so long (and has a Real Plot) so the likelihood is slim. I have a LOT of ideas about how leopika can have sex mistakes I’d love to turn into fics but also they’re just fun to rotate. we’ll see!

[karlachismylife]

I think it's easier to live with as time goes on, esp with adhd it's become the background pain of my life lol, flair ups suck though for SURE. What is surprising is how much I can move even though it hurts because of the pressure lol. I used to do ballet stuff so flexibility isn't an issue. And honestly thank you for sympathizing because you have no idea how many people assume that just cause I don't look like I'm constantly uncomfortable and in pain that means I'm not. It's like no dude my feet feel like they're burning and I'm pretty sure my legs are locked to prevent them from shaking but fuck it we ball. I did get prescribed a new medicine though so I don't have to constantly take ibuprofen and it works really well! The pressure is still there but not the pain. Btw you don't have to keep answering these with the hc's if you're low on juice. Just being able to talk about this without feeling like I have to defend my own pain cause I'm younger. It's like if you're under 30 people think you can't possibly have pain XD

(for other comrades - prev post here)

Me and my inner Soap got so stuck on that ballet part, not gonna lie... I smacked him upside his silly puppy head though, don't worry. Jokes aside, though, that's incredibly impressive, wow, you're just a star, aren't you? Cuz I have quite an understanding of how hard it is (mum did ballet and told tales) and I have nothing but respect for anyone who can endure it, honestly, superhuman shit.

Ugh, I already got frustrated with them people on your account. As if they wouldn't give you shit if you demonstrated that you don't feel well. Dumb. I feel like 141 boys wouldn't like that you're kinda masking it, though. They wanna take care of you, for Ghost it's almost the sole driving force of his life, but they all get off acts of service and care, because, well, that's what they are, four big brutal service dogs. So if one of them sniffs out you're hiding how uncomfortable your current seat is or that you got tired of standing, for example, in a checkout queue at the store - there's gonna be so much grumbling, oh boy, and you're getting scooped up immediately to be relocated somewhere you can actually get comfy and relax.

Good thing there's new meds! Already said, Ghost's picking them up and clinking glasses with you to take them together with his drug cocktail, before you get to chase Soap around the house like a dog that doesn't want to take its pills. He would still keep the painkillers always on hand, though, just in case, you know - what if it flares or something happens. And for Price.

Price would SO understand that stupid ass stigma and bias though, because he's actually not an old man and was even younger when he messed up his back, plus he's in the military, so everyone always assumes that he's in his top shape and if he shows he isn't, he just gets dragged by others. Or maybe not dragged, cuz people are rightfully afraid of him, but it's the looks he gets that get under his skin and make him so self-conscious. And the days when you need his help but he can't pick you up properly? He feels like a failure. So all this people talk and internal exhaustion from the constant presense of this shite in your life is very very familiar to him. Letting some steam off while you both just tear apart some ugly ass knob that made a sarcasting note about you when you sat on a free seat in the subway? Sure, Price made that balding bitch almost piss himself for that, but it doesn't mean he won't have some more nice words to say about people like him who decide who gets to sit and who doesn't.

[gold-rhine]

If it's not too much trouble, could you expand on Diluc's "already incoherent characterization" you mentioned in one of your recent posts? I'm just curious cause I also feel that there's something off about him writing-wise but I can't put my finger on it.

sigh. so, at the start of the game hoyo wrote diluc as super aggressive and negative towards kaeya specifically and knights in general, and all of their interactions are very hostile. they are having bitch fights every time they are in the same room.

like, fandom likes to pretend that diluc has guilt, bc of like some anonymous message on a public board that sounds like it's diluc feeling bad, which hoyo back-wrote. but they can't gaslight me, i just recently replayed start of the game content on my new account. like first time diluc appears is in kaeya's domain after traveler and kaeya cleared it, and diluc bitches at kaeya for no fucking reason and kaeya is v passive aggressive back at him. they have bitch fight in venti's quest. diluc's entire quest is about him trying to keep kaeya from discovering he's darknight hero and he specifically makes it known that kaeya is unwelcome every time he shows up in the tavern. and he sounds negative when bringing up kaeya for any reason.

and then hoyo started to back-pedal. idk what happened, maybe the direction of the plot shifted. maybe the writer who was writing them in this conflict vein quit. maybe at the start they only had vague idea of like brothers at war with each other, and once they started to flesh it out and add nuance, they've realized that like, burning your baby brothers' eye out might be understandable in the moment of trauma and shock, but then acting like you're on high horse and treating him like garbage for YEARS after is a bit of a psycho behavior.

quick aside bc i know there are ppl who think that, um, kaeya "deserved" it and like. he was what, not older than 10 when he was left at the winery. and he was about 17 when he confessed. he was a traumatized kid who kept a secret bc his bio father told him that the fate of his entire country depends on it. get a grip. but as i said, with the same logic, diluc was also in shock and trauma, and i do not fault him the fight itself. what doesn't track is how diluc acts years LATER, when he had time to think.

so they started to drastically soften diluc AND back-writing retcons. Hidden Strife letters are all about it. They were like oh, brothers were always in contact! Diluc is not a maniac, he was polite to the knights and he told kaeya to take care :) :) :) this creates new set of problems. not only it gives diluc personality split where he was incredibly aggressive to kaeya in person, but apparently normal in the letters. But also, we have letters from Kaeya that make it obvious he knew immediately that diluc is a darknight hero and they both were chill about it. But like! diluc's entire story quest is about him trying to keep kaeya from learning that! like, come on! why then diluc did all these stupid scooby doo shenanigans with slimes and shit???

now i think they are trying to shift responsibility for reconciliation from diluc to kaeya, which is the only issue that affects kaeya's own characterization. bc they are very hard going into "all servants at winery ADORE kaeya and treat him like family and welcome him!!" and fandom like, extends it to diluc now, like diluc is welcoming kaeya too and kaeya is a silly goose who has his hang ups and refuses to visit. as if getting your eye burned off, trying to reach out first and getting "ugh, its you" treatment when you show up at your brother's tavern is just like. a lil awkward situation that kaeya himself should get over without any effort on diluc's side and he should just ~realize~ that he's still part of the family lol. and ppl justify it like "well we don't know how diluc actually feels, he probably feels guilt (anon message) and wants to reconcile". which like. so we don't know, but kaeya is supposed to figure out and reach out AGAIN, when diluc at any time could've just told him that he's welcomed.

and now in kaeya's hangout we learn more about their childhoods which tbh hurts diluc even more. like how are we gonna be pretending that diluc cares about kaeya when he returned to mond and found his baby brother, who was apparently the sweetest gentlest child in the world, his loyal shadow for entire childhood, couldn't lie, was taking punishments for diluc, and see him now becoming a high functioning alcoholic with brazenly unhealthy persona of liar and manipulator, and like NOT get worried and try to reach out. which i don't think it was hoyo's intention, they just wanted to add the tragic sweetie uwu to kaeya's characterization, but they did not think how it reflect on diluc in global context

so now diluc's characterization flip flopped in several directions, and he doesn't really has an arc or plotline going. he's kinda just there now, more of symbol than character, and hoyo just writes whatever they want for him without any regard for any previous lore

[dxrkshippers]

your anons arent on rn btw! (idk if it’s intentional or not but jsyk)

anyways! gimme some togadabi headcanons since youre on a kick rn! id like to know all your thoughts about them!

ITS NOT INTENTIONAL IM SORRY SILLY 💔💔 Forgor to turn it on when I made the new acc.

Toga and Dabi have an incredbly strange pseudo-siblings dynamic. Their both incredibly unstable and so to is their dynamic- One day Toga could be all sweet on Dabi and he’ll be semi tolerant of it.

The next day, though, they could be insulting eachother over the League’s bar, eventually devolving into them both purposely bringing up each others triggers, like their challenging each other until one of them admits defeat- until Toga walks out pouting or Dabi storms out leaving singe marks in his wake.

Nsfw stuff under cut cause I’m a freak

Additionally like I said in this post I think that Toga, as a vulnerable, insecure, and very cute high school girl is a very big target for the especially morally depraved in the League. Toga gets used for sex in exchange for praise. Toga doesn’t mind as long as she gets called cute and pretty and good.

At the beginning Dabi genuinely didn’t give a fuck- I mean, aside from thinking all the people using her were disgusting he really didn’t care. They were villains, he guessed. That was until him and Toga started getting closer- he realized that if Toga died he might actually be kinda sad, and so when he saw Toga walk out of a male villains room he went in after and beat the shit out of him. Spit on him and told him not to do that shit again.

If Toga and Dabi were to end up having sex their first time would be hatefucking 100%… They push eachothers buttons too hard and suddenly Dabi’s mouth is againt hers and she’s giggling into the kiss

and- I cannot stress this enough- it gets messy. Knifeplay and temperature play are just the start of it, if the both of them didn’t know first aide they would probably die from blood loss and they’d both be into it.

That being said the aftercare is surprisingly sweet actually. Sewing up/stapling each other’s wounds and treating burns.

I think they would both have specific permanent wounds they would keep on eachother as a form of marking though. Toga left a heart-shaped scar on Dabi’s back that she redoes every time it fades more than she wants. Dabi left a nasty hand- shaped burn mark on Toga’s waist…

tldr they are insanebpd4insanebpd

[theluxuriansecret]

Dear 12092023

7:00 pm

Dear diary.

I'm having a genuinely hard time with school boy's rejection. I mean, I know he's just a young college kid ,but seriously our chemistry was too good to deny. Honestly it all comes back down to Avenel. That's what I'm renaming J*** because writing his name out like that is kind of annoying. I know that not all situations need closure, and that silence is closure. If someone wanted to talk to you, or wanted you in their life they just would be., but in this case, he didn't want to be and I just had to accept that. None of them wanted to be. I was just a convenient fuck at the end of the day.

I also started to consider the science behind the people you want not wanting you back, and the people you didn't want being absolutley obsessed. It's so incredibly frustrating to me. The only men I wanted, I was nice to, but the men I didn't want I was nonchalant with. Those are the only ones who responded "positively" to me. but I don't want to be a cruel, nonchalant bitch to be with a man who will actually like me and take genuine interest in me.

This is me coming back at 9:44 pm finally ready to finish my journal post because I get so caught up and distracted. I've had so much sugar that my head is starting to hurt, and I would really like to start my final that's due tomorrow, I just really don't want to do any of that shit. Anywayyyy.

I just need to pour back into myself again. Get my work out routine back into place, start playing vide games i like that I can play alone (fortnite is too intense for me). I was honestly so productive today. its crazy what I can accomplish when I put my phone down. Like.. I gotta put this shit down more often.

Honestly, I'm going to keep being a hopeless romantic. I'm going to keep believing that the right person for me is out there. I know the love I desire exists because it lives within me, but until then. I will continue to love myself the way I deserve..

Honestly, yes the sappy ending would've been nice, but that's not what I came to write about. I wanted to write about how I have an intimacy issue and it's spilling over making me a hypersexual. I struggle with limerence, and I think about sex a lot. I don't even know whether I'm horny or the fact that the only way for me to feel wanted or loved, or cared for or cheished or valued, is through sex. I cracked the code. I gotta stop. TBH after school boy gave me BV, I told myself I was 100% going on a man cleanse, for my coochie and for my spirit. It's almost been two months with out sec and I'm not going to lie, it's been difficult. I do still heavily value male attention. And I hater that for me. Once school is over and I'm super finished and I never have to see school boy again, I can finally start the process of moving on, planning my future, and figuring myself out. It's just so hard to do when I have to see him and I still want him to choose me. I don't know how people can have these types of relationships when you constantly have to see the person you're not fucking with anymore. I don't live on campus and I'm struggling. IDK how they do it. (finishing at 10:17 pm btw)

[casperillion]

i cant post the orignial context because i think op blocked me but thats fine, i just want to air my thoughts and tbh if theyre not looking anymore im happier abt that.

to summarise a little bit of what this is abt, i replied to an article that very much implied that all trans men are loud misogynists, especially towards trans women which is not something i agree with. my reasons for not agreeing with this is very much based on my real world and online experiences of growing up in the queer community with many trans people around me. I stated that i dont think that misogynistic trans men (which look, i know they exist, ive met them) should be considered the majority and on top of that it feels very weird to focus so heavily on that when trans men do not hold a position of power over other trans people, especially not systematically.

to be fair to op i didnt explain this as clearly as i could originally since my first response to the article was very much an emotional response.

anyway op told me the world would be better off without me in it and that i should kill myself, that im a transmisogynist, and that im the reason they hate that theyre trans masc. someone else told them to back off bc while they agreed with op they thought it was a bit fucked up to say that, i responded to them and clarified my points and this person also ended up agreeing with me.

op then messaged me privately with this

okay context done here are my thoughts, i'll try to split this up so its a bit easier to read Original point

so for this one, trans men and our issues are very often erased or only ever brought up as an after thought. I dont feel like i need to explain why erasure is bad but the biggest issue i find with this is lack of resources and lack of coverage or even knowledge about the shit trans men deal with in a cisnormativity society.

this article was rough for me to read because it described every trans man that the writer had met as someone who became a loud misogynist and the conclusion was that all trans men were that way, if not openly then secretly. I know this is not the case because i know many trans men and trans masculine people, many of those men are very passionate supporters of trans women, nb people, and cis women. honestly i think these experiences say more about the person who wrote the article than trans men as a whole.

this attitude is used by TERFs to harass trans men who they see as "traitors" and its where i see this sort of thing most often. its very weird to be this focused on this subject especially without discussing how complex being trans masculine is.

its kinda hard to put everything into words, i'll add on more when i remember it later

To the person who posted the article that is now harassing me

im not gonna name them but looking through thier blog actually... made me really sad. they are the type of people that have fallen victim to this kind of thing. they hate men, and they hate themselves even more for being one.

its so sad to me that they see themself like that, its kinda hard to even know if theres a way i can help them, i want to though. even though they were incredible weird towards me.

digression into them being weird actually bc ive been thinking abt it.

they were very quick to judge who i am as a person without knowing anything about me, made a lot of assumptions that arent true. it felt a lot like projection because like?? idk its wild to doubt that i care about my close friends???? you dont know any of us?? you dont even know what community i come from?? i know trans women from like, actually idk the youngest age but roughly from 20 years old to 40+, most of the trans men i know are in their 20s, and i dont even know what the range for nb people i know is because ive met too many and i stopped keeping track. I've lived with other trans people in person of all genres (idk i dont have a better word) , ive volunteered in places where ive met and helped trans women get back on their feet while experiencing financial hardship. as a teenager i was involved in creating safe spaces for trans and gnc teens in my city to meet each other and hang out. less relevant but ive also be outright told by women im close with that they value my perspective when we have discussions about misogyny, actually that was literally 2 nights ago while we were discussing the best way to create a safe space for women and trans fems. obviously op knows none of this but its wild that they just.. assumed so much and decided that my voice was not important or worth listening to.

[mylawcitrus]

My actual job

I'm an English teacher, in case you didn't know. It's hard to "restart" on the internet, because usually I suppose the haters who brought you down (I've lost accounts, I've deleted accounts, and a bunch of people left me because of whatever reason) keep making sure you're still at the bottom, unless they're too tired and there's another person they wanna bother.

I wish that didn't sound controversial. I don't "bother" anyone, I put some kind of blind trust which we should all have second thoughts on to meet people with what I could say are mutual interests, but I have mistakes along the way, like criiticizing sex workers for spam. Those people are marginalized as fuck and trying to make a basic living. While I don't sell, I've had an OnlyFans account and the thing that happened with Pornhub, honestly, I don't understand until this day. It's just a website I visit once a week, maybe. Like, it's totally not what people seem to think, but who knows, with marketing these days.

About Omegle, I should pass the fucking baton to somebody else who understands shit about algorithms and moderation, because I just have a few stories of incredible people I met there and I happen to keep them in my mind. The way I've talked about it and maybe the way I've acted probably makes it sound like I see the website as a definitive instant camfuck thing. You're gonna find people who lean into that, but my history with it is a lot more than whatever I did in a given day or so, I've been visiting, on and off obviously, for 13 years. And apparently people don't realize that, or maybe they do, but that only makes me confused as fuck and I just want my safe space on social media and in life, please. Women who I've been with know the many sides of me and if they saw me laying in bed looking for online sex on Omegle they'd probably be like "dude, Tinder exists". I've heard precisely that from one of my exes. But I don't like Tinder.

And I'd like people to know that whoever uses your image for purposes that damage your honor and reputation are breaking the law. I've written about this. It seems that younger people started an "exposing culture" but forgot to be decent human beings. Maybe it's because we're not interested in their daily lives and we don't see that, and then they catch us doing stupid shit and wanna talk about it all day. There's different moments... I'm seeing such a lack of understanding around this topic! I was thinking that the webcam was somehing norrmal, now I'm supposed to think about whatever's happening on freaking Snapchat and I have days where I just wanna be left alone and have a good night of sleep, but wake up the next day and have something to look forward to, and if you can't understand that for many years that was talking to a special person on a video call, then I'm sorry, but I'll just go as far as saying: "we're different". But I sure hope there's an effort to understand my side, especially when frustration mounts and some stories and untold or badly told (very common).

The rest? I have tons of stuff I've published, I might not have a great idea to share every day but I'm a fucking human being, not generative AI. And precisely on that, they've inserted bias on the way that stuff is classified on the web and nobody's asking me how it all started, how I deal with stuff, whether or not I'm fucking okay, you know? And that shit sucks. So honestly, I hope people wake up to the fact that we have good and bad days, and if you're like a teenager who wants to do something you mom and dad wouldn't like you to do, I'm not saying don't listen to them. Its important to have guidance. But in my life I've done sstuff differently and I'm the one who deals with shit that I've set my mind on 20 years ago, and all I can say is I'm sorry if I've never compared the scale of things but today it's all very fast and this post may mean absolutely nothing, though it comes from a hard reality of being vulnerable as fuck and having to deal with intense scrutiny everywhere, for absolutely no reward, though I'm perfectly aware I shouldn't have a Nobel or anything, but like I said on Instagram, a little pat on the back would be pretty nice.

Thanks and if you're hanging on Live I'll say hi, but you can get to know me better if you want by exploring some of the stuff I've published or asking me about my music, my poetry, following me out of commaraderie or just sending good vibes, I'm not asking anyone to open their wallets but I have a Bandcamp, a Patreon and a Substack, so if you think this matters, the channel IS open.

Thanks again.

[mikavlcs]

i’m so late??? sorry, i swear i thought i rbed this already but pls this has to be one of the sweetest things anyone’s said about my stories 😭🤚💞

(also still patiently waiting for that story of yours because omfg)

That’s where I stopped reading the sentence because I accidentally scrolled down and thought: “No, she’s not”.

pls 💀

Me, after my exams.

me after my exams next week lol

Dads talking about their children.

LMFAO??

Not the fifteen scented lotions 😭 It was definitely the greatest heist of the history.

the greatest heist in jericho’s history easily!!!

Oh, you little shit. I feel like Tesla to Edison.

THIS IS SO FKJGSAHFJJ

No, you did not 😭 And not Word underlying the word “bitch” and writing: “This language may be offensive to your reader.” Yeah, I’m offended by some overgrown chihuahua calling Wednesday a bitch.

NOT WORD LMAKDJSF AND OVERGROWN CHIHUAHUA HAS ME CRYINGGGJKSHDFJH

Just how I can’t say no to the little girl called Mikaela.

as you shouldn’t 🥰💞

Get yourself a girl who can not only keep you in line but kill you if you decide to cross that said line.

the greatest piece of life advice i’ve ever heard tbh

Mika, you certainly have a knack for coming up with nicknames.

thank you<3 i’ve been waiting to use that specific one for literal MONTHS 😭

Me, when I try to express myself in English.

me when i try to express myself in conversation fr

This is the longest analysis of the story I’ve ever done. And it would have been much longer if I didn’t stop myself. Because every paragraph, every sentence deserves a remark of its own. I told you that it’s impossible for you to write trash and I was right, again.

And if this is your last story, I want to say – Thank You! Thank you for your hard work. Thank you for dedicating your time and your soul for your stories. Thank you for interacting with your fans. Thank you for your talks with me. Thank you for being patient with me and listening to my rambles. Thank you for your wishes. Thank you for letting me escape reality for a bit. Thank you for being a safe space probably not only for me but others as well.

I know I may have got a little bit emotional, but you deserve to know how impactful you, as a person, were and still are to all of us.

i may have teared up a bit. i’m glad this wasn’t my last, but thank you for all of this nonetheless. you’re still far too kind, i swear 😭😔

And I promised you a story, so I’m giving you a story… Eventually… Just don’t disappear from Tumblr entirely. Unless you want a hand-written letter from me containing my story.

Thank you for taking your time to read all of this. I love you so so much! <333 Good luck and take care of yourself! If something happens, we’re always ready to help you ❤️

i remain incredibly excited for whenever you get around to writing something. i know it’ll be one of the best stories i’ve ever read in my life, you already write so beautifully (as shown in the beginning paragraph of this post).

thank you, in turn, for taking the time to read my story and write all of this out. i can’t describe how happy this made me feel while reading it.

you’re legitimately one of the sweetest people i've ever met in my life. i love you too, so so much<333

Rebels and Renegades

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x reader

Summary: Becoming best friends with a sentient hand brings many much-needed changes to your life, the biggest being the very girl he arrived at Nevermore with.

Warnings: this is so stupid, reader is incredibly unserious, many attempts at comedy, TERRIBLE pacing, bad writing, cursing, this doesn’t correlate properly with the timeline of the show but idc

Word count: 6.6k (sorry, this got very out of hand…get it?)

Notes: this is trash but it’s fun so who cares. this is entirely for @clexa-is-forever aka thing’s biggest fan. despite my writer’s block, i still had fun writing this. hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

If someone told you at the beginning of the school year that your best friend would be a sentient disembodied limb, you would’ve laughed in their face.

Keep reading

[onmyyan]

Straight Venomous Ch.5

A/N: Short lil sum to keep y’all fed feedback is always welcome hope ya enjoy

A/N: Edited 1/11/2023 I gots to stop posting shit at 3 AM bec my eyes don’t be working anyway I made a small change at the end to make it flow better and corrected some spelling errors if I missed any no I didn’t 🔪🖤

Bruce Wayne knew people, he understood them in a way most others couldn’t. At least not without serious work, if he put his mind to something it was only a matter of time before it played out exactly as he wanted, he could count on hand the times he’d failed and it wasn’t a brag, but rather a simple fact. Predicting behavioral patterns came with the job, and he was very good at the job.

If you could recognize the pattern it wasn’t hard to predict the next move, and Damian was no exception to this rule. 

He was hungry for validation, recognition, and glory, but also knowledge. It unnerved the younger man to be in the unknown. Getting deep beneath his skin, Bruce understood if he waited long enough his prideful heir wouldn’t be able to help himself and investigate you on his own. It was both a test for you and his son, a test of patience. 

How would you conduct yourself when facing a brute like Robin? What would Damian do when faced with a stronger opponent? These pressing queries held his mind in a vice-like grip, the hunger pain that sat heavy in his stomach wouldn’t be quelled until he got those answers. 

And he found those answers faster than he thought.

You were street-smart, calculating, and careful, so he knew the only way he’d get you to reveal yourself was through provocation. This is where Damian came in. Bruce stood within the shadows of a nearby building, watching the interaction with hawk-like attention,  ready to pounce the moment either of you got out of hand.

When the time came thankfully neither of you questioned his sudden appearance, seemingly grateful for the interruption, at least you were, Damian looked like he was about to lose it. Bruce took a silent joy in the way you subtly shifted behind him. Damian clearly made you uncomfortable despite the power difference, while he had you in experience and strategy you outclassed him physically, in ways even Bruce didn’t fully comprehend.

Yet.

So you could change form, a stronger faster, truth be told frightening form, but nothing he hadn’t seen before. 

You were burdened with this incredible responsibility at such a young age, clearly, you had no idea of your full capabilities and he was itching to be the mentor you so obviously needed, the hesitation and anxiety you displayed made it all the more clear to him, you needed help, someone with the proper experience and strength to guide you along the right path. 

It's been hours since the interaction but you still held firmly in his thoughts. A huff of air escaped the quiet man, the bright screens before him bathed his skin in an eerie glow, the atmosphere was usually dark as ya know, he works in a cave, but there was a particular heaviness hanging over him like a water balloon resting on a tack, all it takes is the slightest nudge, and he’d be drenched in it, soaked in the dangerous feeling, like a storm foreshadowing its destruction, his blue eyes were tired, the job added 50 years to his expressions alone, and after a nearly 12-hour patrol, he’d earned at least a wink of rest. Everything in his body urged him to take a break, but he couldn’t. Not when you were dangling in the jaws of a wolf, it took him maybe five minutes to find out where you worked, more specifically who you worked under, Oswald had been a thorn in his side since he’d first dawned the cowl, it been a long while since he’d tried anything but silence from that man was never a reason to relax. He was as grimy as they came, and would double-cross anyone who stood in his way if it meant getting what he wanted. The balloon burst the moment the information entered his brain. You were so misguided, too trusting of such a vile human, and without considering your wants and needs he quickly decided you’d be his latest project protégé.

 After all, he’s trained his fair share of heroes, and you’d be the newest success. He could see it now, he’d study your condition whilst instilling his sense of justice along the way, and you’d appreciate his tutelage and thrive under his care and guidance. You were already so incredible despite the circumstances surrounding you, but if you continued on your path alone he was sure you’d cross the point of no return, he needed to get to you before Gotham did and you killed someone. (OhBrucieYouHaveNoIdea)

Meanwhile, some floors above him the youngest Wayne paced tracks into the floor of his gym. Yeah his, because the brat refused to use the one in the cave at the moment.

Damian spent the rest of the evening following the altercation silently, and violently, fuming to himself. Usually, whenever something managed to wriggle its way under his skin, he’d take it out on one of the poor training dummies stationed below his home in the Cave but that’s where his father was and right now he’d only make the bitter heat in his belly burn hotter. That same heat remained in the shape of your hands, how easily you subdued him had a permanent scowl on his flushed skin. He subconsciously traced the places you’d touched him hours ago.

The very fact that he was irritated enough to still be thinking about you disturbed him to his very core. It wasn’t fair you walked away without a scratch (he seemed to have forgotten nailing you with a Batarang) while he was left feeling... whatever this was.

There was anger for sure, anger at you for existing and daring to involve him in it, and anger with himself for letting you get the drop on him like that. It soothed his rage to think about your rematch, sure you didn’t know about it yet, but come on like he’d let things stay where they were. He was definitely taking you down. 

The simple fact that you’d burrowed into his brain like the roach you were had him putting his all behind the punches he threw, each hit shaking the bag enough to jolt. if the training equipment in this gym could talk- it wouldn’t because he’d have already broken its jaw

The rage he felt towards the beast made sense, he couldn’t quite place where the rage at his father came from, perhaps because he’d sat on information? That must be it. Surely it has nothing to do with him interrupting the two of you, surely.

One would think after 200 hundred crunches and an accompanying set of push-ups he’d have cooled off enough to stop shaking but that wasn’t the case, it felt, almost like a wasps nest had formed deep within his gut, a painful headache begging to thrum against his skull, unnerved with the idea of not knowing where and what such a dangerous being was up to. You could be doing anything to anyone, with anyone, if one of the more screwed up freaks in town caught the slightest whiff of what you could do- a sigh deep from his chest came out, you still wouldn’t leave his mind, his pulse began to climb, that burning intensity in your eye was locked in his memory like a screenshot. 

He was certain if his father hadn’t appeared you would have battled it out until one or both of you collapsed, The thought of ending you left a bitter taste in his mouth, it be an insult to his honor as a warrior to do so when you weren’t giving your all. He wasn’t a man to back down from a challenge and this was the biggest one yet. With a grunt he returned to dog-walking the punching bag, the strikes never losing momentum.

Somewhere across the water sat an equally dangerous man with equally dangerous ideas beginning to sprout

Dick sat at his desk, unable to tear his gaze from your blurry picture. Something about those eyes held him in place, he was afraid to think about how long he’d been sitting there, staring, and it was not like he had the time to waste. People always needed saving and he couldn’t afford to investigate your not-so-cold case any more than he already had. 

It wasn’t his business anymore, sure it started on his turf but once he realized you were a local from his hometown he had no choice but to share it- share you- with The Bat. 

It wasn’t like he hadn’t solved harder cases on his own, and he wasn’t too proud to ask a more seasoned professional his opinion when stumped, yet here he was, eyes still tearing into every grainy frame the surveillance video had to offer despite having handed the case over a few weeks ago. Something had settled in his gut. A feeling he was all too familiar with at this point, and if he was a better man he’d feel at least a little bad for his actions, but he wasn’t, and he didn’t.

See what he was, was an honest man, and honestly? You were captivating. Absolutely, wholeheartedly captivating. Dick was no stranger to attraction, he’d mastered the art of seduction and romance wasn’t a strange concept. He’d had little fixations before, and it never take him long to get the girl or guy whichever he was in the mood for, and his brain would quickly move on to the next thing. That was the usual routine. 

But you were anything but usual.

And this time it wasn’t doing that last critically important part. Like he forgot how to move on. He didn’t know what he wanted from you, only that you plagued his consciousness since he’d intercepted that robbery. He didn’t tell Bruce about the dead man left at the scene, a petty part of him was all too eager to leave him in the dark, after all what kind of ‘world's greatest detective’ would he be if he couldn’t solve this one? And a small dark voice in his mind was sure the bastard had it coming for trying to harm you, those guns they had certainly wouldn’t have just tickled.  

As he let himself relax in the worn chair he rested on, his thoughts also relaxed, and the wave of contradicting emotion washed over him. There was the curiosity, of course, all the burning questions he had for you, the genuine desire to head to your place and apologize- for what he had yet to figure out. Then there was the churn of guilt.

He felt at fault for whatever happened that night, the weight of not getting there fast enough was heavy on his scared shoulders. Of course, he felt bad, and that was obviously the reason he couldn’t seem to shake you. Had he moved a little quicker you’d never have gotten mixed in with his little community of local vigilantes.

Oh? Maybe not?

The ding that had interrupted his troubling inner monologue was a simple picture from Tim.  He scrunched his face at the bright screenshot he’d had been so kind to shoot over, You lived with Jason? Of all the people, he scoffed at the image sending a quick thank you to Tim, the younger male had a soft spot for the first Robin so he’d agreed to his request on you easily, maybe a little too easily. Had his mind been any clearer he might have been concerned with the amount of information Tim had on you. Instead, he wondered if you knew about Jason’s job. Of course, you did, you were a smart girl, after all, his smart girl.

He cracked his neck, fingers twitching at the thought because even if you did know, clearly you didn’t understand the danger you were in, he was almost certain you were a meta but the how's and why’s of it all weren’t all too concerning. No, what worried him was your obliviousness. 

You lived with him. And yeah it had been a few years since he’s seen his successor, but time couldn’t change the kind of broken Jason was. He had a temper and a tendency to act without thought, why else would he move in with a civilian? You had no idea just how much danger you were in simply by sharing a roof with the man. It was idiotic to think he could protect you-if the thought even crossed his mind that is. He scoffed bringing his now cold coffee to his mouth before setting it back down. His dark brows furrowed at the thought.

He could do that, protect you properly. The way you deserved. He owed you that much. He resigned himself to his poison and snatched up his phone, the person on the end answered almost immediately.

“Hey Timmy, you still staying in Gotham right? S’Cool if I come crash a few days?”

While those three dangerously deluded fucks individually plotted to ruin your life, the fourth was currently trying to squeeze information out of you, as he’d come home with lunch for the two of you only to find you halfway out the door, a sloppily put up bag of clothes strapped across your back.

”Jay I have like 2 seconds what do you need?” You all but whined out, half your shit was in bags the other was in the dumpster outside your apartment. Oswald was very specific on how and when you’re to arrive at your temporary home, you had a very small window to time to get to the meeting spot and were allowed one bag of personal items, all of which would have to be thoroughly searched. 

Oswald genuinely scared the fuck out of you, sure you could probably kick the shit out of the guy in a fist fight but the sheer joy on his face when he spoke of revenge and how much pleasure he got from the suffering of those who annoyed him and his overall vibe was one not to be fucked with. Throughout your frantic packing, the Symbiote was kind enough to narrate just how long you had left, taking a sick sense of joy at your irritation. ‘With three minutes on the clock and a Man-Thing in the way? Will the human make it?’ 

You were one minor inconvenience away from losing it but no one needed to know that, and as pretty as Jason is he was very much being that inconvenience right now.

”What’s going on you’re packing your shit? You also look like you’re about to shit so take a breather- maybe I can help.”

He spoke gently like he was talking to a scared animal, honestly not that far off from your current state.  “I’m moving out for- fuck if I know, but look I promise I’m gonna be okay so don’t worry.” You gave him a tight smile and went to move around him, black tendrils began subtly gathering around any and all items of yours it could find, a brush here, towel there the batteries to the remote, Jason quickly put his hands on your shoulders forcing you to pause.

”Someone after you? You’re running from somethin’ sweetheart, that much I can tell.” One corner of his mouth lifted into a worried smile, the seriousness in his eyes unsettled you, but this was Jason, so you buried the unease as soon as it appeared.

”Jay-“ you paused wracking your brain for the right words to get you out the door. Your hands found their place on top of his, gently running your thumb against his battered knuckles. “Thank you for worrying about me but you don’t need to! I ain’t running nothing but my mouth you know me,” you felt the weight of the items in your bag reach a point where no more would fit, Venom seemed satisfied with his scavenger hunt, all too eager to remind you of your ever-diminishing time limit. ‘The bird man will yell at us if we’re late (Y/n).’

’and if he hurts my feelings I’m eating his insides.’

your eye twitched at the threat while you wracked your brain for the magic words to move the wall of muscle blocking your swift getaway.

”I just need to get away for a while- just clear my head.” 

His face was the kind of scary still you’d only seen a few times. The stone-cold look didn’t match the heat in his hands, which are now gently covering your own, he gave a soft squeeze as he spoke. “Slow down for me.” His tongue flicked out over his bottom lip nervously, “Is it- you leaving cuz that shit with me and Roy? Listen I get why you’d be scared but I’ll never let anything happen to you- I’d rip the world apart before I let that happen.” His grip tightened slightly as his words continued. The conviction in his words made your hair stand on end.

”I’m sorry if I scared you but I’d never bring that shit home- just talk to me don’t run away- please.” 

You could hear the hand of the clock in the kitchen ticking away, the sweat had begun to build on your brow, and trying your hardest to stay focused, because the second You loosened your grip Venom will take the wheel, he didn’t do it often but whenever your stress levels would rise to a certain point, You’d take a backseat and let him drive the boat. And he drove that boat right into the wall.

You had Jason’s collar in a vice, yanking the larger male down to eye level in an unforgiving grip, “I’m only gonna say this once pretty boy- Stay away from us- last thing we want is to mess up that mug eh?” Venom spoke, white clouded over your eyes, Jason seemed to be taking in your splitting smile when you pushed away from him.

”See ya when I see ya Red.”

Your body threw itself out the open window, only after tossing your bag unceremoniously first of course and before he could try to chase you, you were gone. 

You sighed deeply once you were in the car, finally relaxing your shoulders at the thought of your troubles being behind you. 

Only they weren’t behind you, oh no love they’re all around, the first domino had fallen, the wolves were closing in, five different individuals have already started down this blood-soaked path, and Gotham had suddenly become five times more dangerous.

[8bitscarlet]

smut 9 and 47 with bottom! wanda please <3

(for some reason i cant see the requesting rules post so i apologize if this breaks any)

Thank you for the request! 💞 If you ever want to request anything again, my what I write for's are on my masterlist! No rules broken here!

500 Followers Prompts

-Word Count: 1.4k , bottom!Wanda x Reader (18+, Minors DNI!, explicit descriptions of sex, use of strap-on, fingering, swearing)

Prompt 9: "Can they fuck you like this? Make you cum like I can"

Prompt 47: “Lay down ass up, don’t think you’re getting away with that little stunt.”

_____________________

Trying to rub away the throbbing in your temples, you let out a quiet groan. The pounding music that fills the Compound is doing nothing to help your headache. You had told Wanda you had wanted to leave the party over an hour ago but she always found a way to stay just a little longer. Slowly spinning your drink against the bartop, your eyes glance over the dance floor filled with people packed together like sardines.

Wanda was whiny tonight. Begging you to go out on the dance floor, trying to get her pouting lips and puppy dog eyes to get you to break. Eventually, she gave up and dragged Carol out to the dance floor. Through the flashing lights and darkness, your eyes can still catch sight of one of the only redheads here.

What makes you nearly spit out your drink is who you’ve caught dancing with her. And it certainly isn’t the blonde she took from the bar.

It could be the alcohol coursing through your veins or the annoyance you’re feeling towards your headache, but you're out of the stool and across the dance floor without another thought. Pulling back the android’s shoulder, you give an irritated grin,

“Hey, that’s my girlfriend, asshole.”

Vision clenches his face, “She asked me to dance, Y/N.”

“Shut up,” you snap at him and glance over to Wanda, “Upstairs, now.”

You catch the slightest upward tilt at the corner of Wanda’s painted lips but as she slips away, Vision steps in front of you.

“Buddy,” you chuckle, “you had your chance. Fuck off.”

Shoving past him and his yells, you grab Wanda’s arm and pull her with you towards the elevator with no protest. As the doors slide close in front of you, you let out a sigh of relief as the pounding music grows further and further away. Wanda’s hand reaches out to you, gently rubbing your arm but she says nothing.

As the elevator rings out the floor number, you stand there in silence. The sound of your foot tapping against the floor is the only sound around. Wanda steps in front of you, opening her mouth to say something, but you just stare at her. With a heavy swallow, she turns on her heels and starts to walk down the hall, listening to your steps behind her.

The bedroom light flicks on as you walk towards your dresser, quietly slipping out of your dress shoes and slowly rolling up your sleeves.

“Y/N?” Wanda breaks the silence, her voice barely above a whisper.

You let out a hum, listening to her grow closer to you as she drops her heels to the floor. Her arms wrap around you, pulling you back into her as her chin rests against your shoulder.

“What’re you thinking?”

Taking in a deep breath, you turn slowly to face her and stare into those dilated pupils. Her eyes watch as you wet your lips, resting your hands gently on your waist. Slowly, you take a step forward, your body bumping against a startled Wanda. She mirrors you, watching you shake your head with a dark chuckle. You watch as her skin flushes, nothing but blabbering coming from her lips.

“I’m thinking about how I’m going to rip that fucking dress off of you,” you growl, wrapping your hands around her waist as you throw her onto the bed.

Wanda lets out a squeal but as your lips slide up her thighs, its replaced with a soft sigh. The sound of tearing fabric mixes with her soft moans, as you clear the way up her thighs. As her fingers grip at your hair, you know this is exactly what she was hoping for all night. She knew even glancing towards Vision would drag you away from the bar and that she’d win an extra prize. The anticipation radiated off of her as she locked her ankles across your shoulders as you breathed out a chuckle when you realize she's wearing no panties.

You make her wait a moment longer. Her whine makes your heart beat hard against your chest, as you guide the rip higher up her body. As the fabric falls, it reveals the soft skin hidden beneath. You lick a long stripe from the valley of her breasts to her chin. Your hand grips her breasts tightly, massaging them with force. She moans, closing her eyes as you bite her lip roughly, you can smell her whiskey breath wash over your face as you press an aggressive kiss against her lips and feeling her moan into you.

“What do you want?” You growl into her ear, her nails digging sharply into your back as you start to suck against the soft spot on her neck, ensuring that tomorrow, Vision knows she's yours.

“You.” She rasps out as you move your lips along her collarbone.

“Really? Seemed like you wanted someone else tonight,” You say between kisses as you move your lips to her breast, your hands roaming down her body.

Squeezing her thigh with one hand, your other hand guides towards her core, two fingers sliding into her without warning. They slip in with ease, her folds already dripping wet having waited all day for this. First it was waiting for you to get back from your mission and then it was wanting your attention at the party.

“What do you want?” you snap, stopping your fingers from thrusting into her. All she could give were loud moans, that wasn’t the answer you wanted.

Gasping as her green eyes open and find you, her fingers run through your hair, “You. Shit, I want you!”

Pressing your fingers in all the way, the heel of your palm presses against her clit. Wanda’s hips roll against your hand as you watch her bite against her lip, trying to suppress her moans and failing incredibly.

“Correct answer, Ms. Maximoff.” you growl, guiding your tongue in small circles around her clit.

Keeping the touch light, you continue thrusting your fingers slowly, curling them just right as you beckon her to you. Nothing but moans and pants come from her lips, her nails clawing down your back and sending shivers through your body. Clenching her eyes shut, you can see the shaking of her thighs as you start to suck against the sensitive bundle of nerves.

Leaving a trail of marks from her core up to her chest, you swirl your tongue around her nipple, switching between gentle bites and sucking. Your fingers are soaking as you slip out to a rub a few small circles around her clit before slipping back in. Wanda lets out a moan, her fingers gripping your hair tightly. You pop the breast from your mouth and press your lips against hers, too weak with pleasure to form against yours.

“Can’t believe you pulled that shit,” you whisper as you press kisses against her jawline, your fingers curling just right and pulling those unrelenting moans from her throat.

Wanda’s hand grips your arm tightly, her hips trying to keep their rhythm but she’s getting close. You can feel her walls clenching and unclenching against your fingers. With another lick against her core, Wanda lets out a mewling squeal as you curl your fingers, watching her thighs clench tightly.

“Can they fuck you like this?” Twirling your tongue around her clit, your hand pushes her thigh back as you anticipate Wanda wrapping her thighs around you to brace for the tidal wave about to hit.

And it hits.

Her moan catching in her throat as you glance up from between her legs. For a moment, the death grip her fingers have on you float away for just a moment as her green eyes roll behind her eyelids.

Thrusting your fingers with slow strokes as she rides out her high, you nip at the inside of her thighs, enjoying how she twitches at your touch, “Make you cum like I can?”

Wanda sighs, her fingers gripping at your shirt to pull you up to her lips. You free yourself with ease as you stand and turn away from her.

“You think I’m letting you get off on one?” You chuckle as you start to set up the harness around your waist.

Glancing over your shoulder, you clench your jaw, “Lay down ass up, don’t think you’re getting away with that little stunt.”

Climbing back onto the bed, you kneel behind Wanda exactly in the position you told her. You tease her with the tip of the toy, watching her body still shivering from her first orgasm. Leaning forward, you feel the heat inside of you as you hear her gasp as the toy slides into her. You press a kiss against her shoulder as her hands lay on top of yours, her fingers intertwining with yours.

“The party still has a few more hours,” you whisper, your hips thrusting slowly against Wanda as your name becomes a moaned mantra from her lips, “And I’m going to spend those hours making sure you don’t even remember that toaster’s name.”

[rebeccccccaaa]

ᴄᴀᴛ’s ɢᴏᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴏɴɢᴜᴇ?

__________________________

ᴄᴀᴍ ʙᴏʏ/ʀᴏᴏᴍᴍᴀᴛᴇ! ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀᴀᴜ

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: You have always been more modest not really ever having time to explore what could have been some sort of sensual alter ego and when Bucky finds out hes determined to bring the sex goddess in you out.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: slight fluff if you count flirty bucky, smut ofc (minors dni) [cam boy bucky (slight tipsy bucky and reader in the beginning); brief male masterbation (bucky has his door open during a session); fem!rec oral; hair pulling; spanking; real dirty talking; strong language, degradation; loss of virginity/ virgin reader but not innocent, touch starved reader, and overstim, overall pretty rough but aftercareeee]

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: sorry in advanced if you don’t like iced coffee lol

_____________________________

“There’s no way; you’re such a fucking liar,” Bucky threw his head back with laughter.

“I knew I shouldn’t have fucking said anything,” you scoff, rolling your eyes before standing up with annoyance.

“No! Don’t go, come on. I didn’t mean it like that,” he chuckled.

“Yeah right,” you scoffed.

“Can I ask why?”

“I mean, honestly. I just never really had time. Although, I did avoid sweaty football players all of high school, but being in uni I just want to grind and grind, you know? Finish school and get my degree. I don’t really have much time going out and getting laid,” you explained.

“Shit, does my… ‘side job’ make you uncomfortable? I didn’t realize how you would feel about it being a vir-”

“Buck, I’m a virgin, not innocent,” you chuckled.

“Damn straight,” Bucky laughed.

“Let me help you,” he said, making you laugh out loud.

"With what?" you asked in disbelief.

"Let me take your virginity. 'S better than fucking some random drunkard in a one night stand, and let's face it, you're not getting a boyfriend anytime soon."

You couldn't help but keep laughing at what he was saying.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“You’re so full of shit, Barnes,” you snorted, too drunk to notice that Bucky wasn’t laughing.

“Offer stands whenever, pretty girl.”

That was four weeks ago.

Since then, you feel like the tension between you and your roommate was especially thick since your tipsy confession. You couldn’t tell whether the things Bucky would say now were intentionally inappropriate or you just had a dirty mind. He seemed to always be shirtless; always.

“Did all your shirts catch fire? No, they got stolen, huh?” you joked.

“Har, har. Don’t be such a prude, pretty girl.”

“I’m not a prude,” you mumbled; at least he had the muscles to flaunt.

One quiet Friday evening, you sat in your room working away at your desk. You had been at it for a couple hours and as much as you wanted to throw in the towel you were so close to finishing everything you needed to finish this weekend. You went to the kitchen to grab a snack, maybe make a coffee, before drilling for the last hour to get everything done.

“Hey, pretty girl,” Bucky said, standing with a glass of whiskey in hand. He always drinks before filming.

“Gettin’ ready for your… stuff?” you asked.

“What stuff?” he asked cheekily, making you roll your eyes.

“Yeah, I haven’t posted anything in a couple weeks and my subscribers are thirsty,” he told you.

“I can only imagine,” you joked.

“Well, baby, I’m in the next room if you wanna stop imagining,” he said flirtatiously

“Fuck off. I’m just here to get coffee,” you smirked, grabbing the things you’ll need from the fridge.

“Well, then I’ll leave you to it,” Bucky said, smacking your ass hard before leaving for his room; you scoffed rolling your eyes at his antics.

You turned around making the coffee itself mindlessly before you grew slight concern when you had yet to hear the door of Bucky’s bedroom to shut. He always kept his door shut whilst you wore headphones blasting music so you wouldn’t have to listen to his unnecessary moaning and cursing. You silently begged the machine to hurry it’s brewing as Bucky began talking and moaning to his audience.

You gritted your teeth hearing him so clearly. Your breathing quickened and you felt your cheeks heat up. You hated how you wondered if he really was as vocal in bed as he portrayed online. You hated the way your stomach flipped and the tingle between your thighs. You’ve never felt so aroused before, you didn’t know what to do.

“Fucking hell,” he groaned, and you swallowed the dry lum in your throat.

You don’t even know how long you stood in the kitchen listening to Bucky. You were incredibly aroused, wetness pooling between your thighs. Your hands gripped at the counter desperate to not let your knees buckle as he got closer to his release.

“God, fuck you James,” you mumbled to yourself.

You couldn’t take it the groans he practically was screaming from his room. You stomped your way to his room to yell at him to close the door. You were enraged but you don’t really know why. Bucky’s side job never bothered so much until now and truthfully he wasn’t really to blame for how turned on you felt hearing him.

“Can you close the goddamn door?” you yelled approaching his bedroom.

“I hate to interrupt but I can fucking hear you- in the… kitchen,” you trailed off.

Bucky sat on his bed completely nude. His cheeks were red and his forehead had a layer of sweat as did his very smooth and very toned chest. Your body completely froze. It’s not that you hadn’t seen a man naked before. You’ve watched porn during the more stressful and lonelier nights, but Bucky was beautiful.

“Care to join?” Bucky breathed with a stupid smile.

“Jesus,” you gasped.

“I ain’t forget about that offer, pretty girl,” Bucky stood, chuckling when you visibly trembled.

“Whatcha say? You ready to finally deflower?” Bucky walked closer to you with a devilish smirk plastered on his handsome face.

“I’m sorry-” you stumbled over your words.

Your stomach fluttered from nervousness and arousal, your skin bursted into chills despite how hot and sweaty you were beginning to feel. You kept your eyes trained to anywhere but Bucky’s assets.

"What's wrong, pretty girl? Cat's got your tongue?" he teased.

"James," you said sternly.

"Baby, I can make you feel so good. All you have to do is say the word," he whispered in your ear, making you shudder.

You know deep inside you that this wasn't a good idea in the long run. It sounds so tempting now but what would happen afterwards? What would happen to your friendship?

"Stop thinking so hard. Just let me make you feel good, please," he begged.

His hands caressed your sides and you couldn't resist squirming; he hasn't even touched you.

"I can tell you're starving. Itching to be touched by someone. Those lonely nights with a laptop and your fingers isn't enough. I can help you, pretty girl. Give you so much and more; give you nirvana. Just say the word," he spoke slowly, sensually; you were damn near shaking just from his words.

"Please," you whimpered.

"Please what?" he teased; Bucky was drunk off the power he had over you.

"Fuck me. Use me. Ruin me," you begged.

"As you wish."

Bucky grabbed the back of your neck smashing his lips to yours. He grinded his hips into you and you feel his hard on digging into you. Your fingers dug into the soft skin of his chest leaving small red marks and scratches littered.

Bucky moved his hand up behind your head, curling his fingers in your hair pulling harshly. his lips instantly attached to your neck biting and sucking to mark you, so you remember he was the one who made you feel euphoric in the coming days. He wants you to remember this night.

"Shit, that feels so good," you sighed.

"That's just the beginning, pretty girl. Get on the bed," he demanded.

You scurried to bed tearing your shirt and shorts off leaving you in your dark lacey undergarments.

"It's like you were ready for me to fuck you," he chuckled darkly.

He crawled up the bed to you like an animal hunting and taunting its prey. You couldn't help but nibble on your bottom lip, anxious for what was to come from Bucky.

His hands gripped your waist firmly pulling impossibly close to his body. He kissed you again and you swore you could stay like that forever. His lips felt so soft again yours, you melted against his body from pleasure.

His hands circled your back and pulled at the bra clasp before swiftly undoing it and letting free. You shrugged your shoulders to your ears allowing the straps of the bra fall gracefully down your upper arm before Bucky curled his finger over the front and tossed it aside to admire your chest.

Your shoulders subconsciously caved in, embarrassed to be so unclothed in front of someone for the first time. Again, you weren't innocent but anyone would still be nervous for their first time. Bucky smiled softly at your timidness; his hands rubbing your sides slowly and comforting to help ease your nerves a bit.

"You are so gorgeous, baby."

"Don't get sappy, Barnes," you joked; but in reality you don't need another reason to fall deeper for him. Not that you're falling to begin with.

"Yes ma'am," he grinned.

He flipped the both of you over so you laid on your back. His hands gently kneaded your breasts pulling moans from you with every squeeze. He leaned down, taking a nipple in his mouth, sucking and biting your perked buds, circling his tongue around. Your back arched into him and you think you can handle the pleasure but you find yourself involuntarily getting higher and higher. Moaning and gasping louder every time Bucky would bite down hard on your nipple. The last straw was when Bucky brought his fingers between your thighs and barely pressed against your aching clit that you fell suddenly over the edge crying Bucky's name.

"Did you just-"

"Fuck, I'm sorry! I don't know what happened. I- Everything just-"

Bucky cut you off with a deep kiss.

"Don't be sorry," he chuckled.

"It's really hot that I was able to make you cum by just playing with these beauties," he flicked your nipples and squeezed your breats making you tremble.

“Shit, too much,” you whined.

Bucky ignored you once again, dipping his head back down, flicking his tongue over your overly sensitive buds. The squeal you made made Bucky chuckle darkly but he didn’t want to torture you so his lips trailed slowly down the valley of your breasts to you belly and hip bones. His fingers curled over your panties dragging them slowly down your legs.

“Fucking hell, pretty girl. You’re dripping. You’ve just been aching for me to get my hands on you for a while, huh?” Bucky taunted.

“Please,” you whimpered.

“Absolutely gorgeous.”

Bucky’s hands rested against your knees pushing them as far as they could go before diving in you like a starved man. Truthfully, Bucky had dreamed of this moment since he met you for the first time moving in. As the days, weeks, and years went by, the urge to resist kissing and fucking you stupid was getting all to much. But now he finally has you under him, at his mercy and he was determined to pleasure as much as he could before getting his cock anywhere near you.

Bucky brought his fingers to circle your entrance, waiting until your legs were nearly shaking from the teasing. As he pushed his fingers past your folds, he brought his mouth down again kissing right above your clit. You gasped and sighed in pleasure as he pumped his fingers in and out of you heavenly.

“Shit, feels so good. So, so good,” you moaned.

Bucky’s tongue brushed over your clit and you couldn’t resist bucking your hips, pushing his fingers deeper inside you. Your back arched off the bed and your hands shot to his head tugging on his dark locks harshly. Bucky’s moans from your tugs vibrated against you and you knew you weren’t going to last any longer.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum Bucky! Shit!” you shrieked.

“Come on, pretty girl. Be a good girl and come all over my fingers,” he said.

Seconds later, you reached your high, crying Bucky’s names again as if it was the only word you knew how to say. Your head practically dangled off the bed, scooting closer and closer to edge desperate to pull away from Bucky’s talented mouth.

“God, you’re beautiful when you fall apart like that,” Bucky mumbled against your heated skin.

Sweat lined your forehead and your chest, your hair was scattered across the sheets like a maniac, and your skin along your neck down to your inner thighs was littered with little bruises and bite marks from Bucky. You looked ethereal.

“One more. Can you give me one more?” Bucky asked softly.

“Fuck,” you whimpered.

“Such a good girl. I know you can, come on.”

Bucky gently flipped your body over, laying you on your stomach. He kissed down your spine, whispering sweet and kind things to you. You can’t even register what he’s saying because his godly erection is poking your ass and you're practically aching again to be railed by him.

“So eager for my cock, aren’t ya? Already being such a greedy little whore.”

“Please, Bucky,” you begged, wiggling your ass against his crotch.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m gonna fuck you so good; gonna ruin you for anyone else,” he whispered in your ear before biting on your earlobe.

He stood tall on his knees behind you gripping your hips, roughly pulling them flush against his pelvis; you pushed yourself up on your hands. He grabbed his aching cock, the tip red and leaking with precum. Bucky doesn’t even know how he was able to last so long without cumming but he did and now all he wants to do is cum deep inside you.

“Ready, pretty girl?” he teased, rubbing your cheeks softly with his hands.

“Fuck me good, James,” you moaned.

Bucky lined his dick with your entrance slowly pushing the tip past your folds. The burning sensation caused you to hiss and tense around Bucky, who instantly stopped his movements.

“No, it’s ok; you’re just bigger than I was anticipating,” you fussed.

“It’s ok. If it’s too much you tell me to stop,” Bucky told you.

“No, don’t stop, please!” you whined.

“Don’t get greedy,” Bucky warned.

“Think you can handle all of me?”

“Fuck,” you muttered.

He pushed his hips further in you slowly, careful to not hurt you. His hands ran slowly up your body before curling his fingers through your hair and pulling your head up. Once he bottomed out, he rested for a minute until you were ready for him to move.

“Holy fucking hell, baby. Feel so good wrapped around my cock, shit,” Bucky groaned above you.

“I feel so- full.”

“‘S like you were made for me, pretty girl.”

Bucky’s hips began to move faster and faster pulling moans from you that was music to his ears. Bucky relished in your sex. He used every ounce of willpower in him to keep control but you felt so heavenly, so sublime. He couldn’t hold back any longer. You could tell that Bucky was holding back and you didn’t want him to. He pleasured you twice already, it was his turn to feel good and if letting go would do that for him you would let him.

“Come on, Bucky. Fuckin’ ruin me!”

“Don’t say shit like that,” he grunted, still thrusting his hips.

“I can take it, baby. Use me,” you told him.

Bucky’s hips stilled only for a second before you felt a sharp stinging on your right ass cheek.

“You want me to fuck you like a whore? Fine, I will,” Bucky growled before pulling out and flipping you over.

Bucky rammed his hips into you fast and rough. His hand went to wrap around your throat squeezing the sides and your eyes rolled back. Tears brimmed your eyes and you cried out over and over again. You felt used, corrupted, violated. You love it.

“Fuck, yes!”

“Shit, I’m gonna fucking come,” Bucky groaned.

Bucky released your throat before dipping his head in the crook of your neck. His groans and moans were muffled by your skin. Your hands wrapped around his neck and your legs too wrapped around his torso pulling his body flushed against yours. Your nails ran down Bucky’s back; he breathed in sharply through gritted teeth before moaning loudly in your ear from the pleasurable sting.

Chasing his release along with yours, Bucky’s thrusts became relentless. Animalistic. Feral, even. Everything felt overwhelming. It didn’t take much longer until you felt Bucky’s stuttering thrusts and the spurts of warm cum coating your velvety walls. Bucky completely relaxed on top of you, his breath heavily hitting your sweaty skin. You scratched his back softly coming down from your own high breathing equally as heavily.

“You feeling ok, pretty girl?” Bucky asked quietly.

“Yeah,” you whispered with a stupid grin on your face.

“You did amazing, you know?” Bucky kissed you softly; your stomach fluttering at the action.

“What now?” you couldn’t help but ask.

“Now, I’m going to take care of you,” Bucky said, hopping off you and the bed.

You laid there breathing slowly now. You didn’t have the energy to move at this point. Your inner thighs burned deliciously and the soreness began to be more apparent all over your body. Bucky came back with a warm towel and bottle of water from the kitchen. He cleaned you up with the towel and you could help the soft moans and whimpers that escaped from you. Once you were cleaned, Bucky helped you sit up and held the now open water bottle for you to hydrate yourself. You couldn’t shake the butterflies and chills you got from Bucky’s stare. He couldn’t take his eyes off you anymore; like you hung the moon and stars for him.

“What?” you asked shyly.

“Nothing,” he grinned.

“Come on. You’ve gotta go pee,” he said carrying you in his arms towards his bathroom.

“No, I just want to go to sleep already,” you whined, voice muffled in the crook of his neck.

Bucky sat on you on the toilet and waited for you to… do your business. You just sat there squirming, and shaking from the cold that hit your body.

“Come on. You have to,” Bucky explained.

“I know, but I can’t pee in front of you. I’m shy,” you mumbled.

“Seriously, I just fucked-”

“Bucky, please,” you cut him off.

“Oh alright. Come back to bed when you’re finished, pretty girl,” Bucky said before leaving you.

You couldn’t shake the smile off your face. He was being so caring and nice to you, it warmed your heart. You felt a bit of heartbreak however wondering if this was just a one time thing. You cleaned yourself again and washed your hands before snatching one of Bucky's t-shirts that laid on the floor. When you came out Bucky was fiddling with his camera that was still set-up and your heart dropped.

Had he recorded the whole thing?

“I was gonna delete all the footage, but in all honesty you look so fucking sexy. Might keep it for myself,” he said winking.

“You recorded the whole thing without telling me?” you asked, tearing up.

“I didn’t mean to. I’m not gonna post it anywhere. You sorta screamed my name a few times so footage ain’t good anyway,” he said, making you scoff and roll your eyes.

“Hey, hey. I’m kidding. I’ll delete all of it, I promise,” he cupped your face.

“Come here; I gotta do one more thing for you,” he said, laying you down on the bed once again.

“What are you doing?” Bucky grabbed another towel and some scented lotion placing it on his bedside table.

“I’m gonna give you a massage. You’ll be less sore tomorrow morning. I’ll admit I was a bit rough,” he said, kissing your belly as he lifted his shirt off your body.

“You do this to all the girls you sleep with?” you teased, not really wanting an answer but you’ll play a part if it keeps from being humiliated because of feelings.

“Only the pretty girls,” he says, fully referencing his nickname he gave you a while ago.

“And how many pretty girls might you have?”

“There’s only one,” he whispered; his hands massaging along your back slowly, sensually.

“She must be really lucky,” you whispered too, afraid of speaking too loud.

“If anything, I’d say I’m the lucky one.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, she’s… she’s perfect. Beautiful. Smart. I could go on about her.”

“She sounds like a prude,” you joked.

“She was,” he chuckled.

“But trust me, now she’s a real feisty and sexy woman,” Bucky said before biting down hard on one of your ass cheeks.

“Ow! Bucky!” you squealed, making Bucky laugh.

Bucky tossed the towel away and placed the lotion back on the bedside table before grabbing the blankets and crawling under them with you. He held you close, entangling his legs with yours, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

“You mean all that?” you asked barely audibly.

“Yeah. I do, pretty girl.”

“You don’t have to delete the video,” you smirked, making Bucky laugh out loud.

He kissed your forehead snuggling closer to you, letting peaceful sleep envelop you both.

=============================

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (For all my work)

@mathletemadison​

@buckybarnes101-blog​

@l-sofiamia-l

@pluto-grl

@partr1dge

@stefans-wife

@cordeliaswhore

@fleurlovesbucky

@povsmarvel0720

@missroro

Bucky Barnes Taglist:

@stolenxkissess

@bucknastayyy38