#but its fun torturing myself ig
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I don't have a gif that even comes close to the physical reactions I'm having to my own fic it's like a body curling ugly face making gagging sounds like
saw an aftg tiktok recommending my fic
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┗🖋️ Fun, was it, when the poor smile / A wooden home has gone senile / Its soil is nothing but fertile / Yet the fruits are declared as an exile 📖
🎧: Taylor Swift - The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
wc: 1.7k
genre & warnings: angst, forbidden love au, historical/royalty au, mentions of death, revenge, violence, like.. just pure angst for this one, fluff if u squint ig, etc etc
a/n: this is a part of The Tortured Poets Department series. if y'all want, you can read the other album inspired fics of other groups here.

"Lower your head, peasant." a guard kicked Jungwon's back, making him stumble on the carpeted floor of the throne room.
His whole body shakes in pain, bruises and dirt covered most of his skin, and there may be some broken bones due to his previous struggles against the royal knights last night.
He deserves the agony, but being presented to you like this is plain torture.
Jungwon knew that the weight of his treason was equals to death. The minute he accepted the mission of espionage to the royal family of his own country, the grim reaper himself had been following him since.
The clacking heeled-steps of a person echoes throughout the room, getting nearer his filthy, disheveled form.
His eyes remain downcast, still, he is able to make-out the golden fabric of your gown as you cease movements a mere inches away from him.
"Everyone, out." you ordered, the guards hesitated at first and were about to protest but your sharp glare made them shut their mouths, opting to follow your directive.
The head knight, Jay, went on one knee before withdrawing, "Please be careful, Your Majesty."
You smile at him, waving him off, "I will. Thank you, Jay."
The male got up but not without giving Jungwon a nasty stare down, one that sent shivers down his spine due to the incredible loathe that it holds.
Several rushing footsteps faded away, then the door was shut, leaving you alone with the man that you, unfortunately, still love despite his treachery.
"Jungwon, you may raise your head." you say in a gentle manner, allowing him some freedom.
"I believe I cannot do that, Your M-"
"Do not make me repeat myself, Viscount Yang Jungwon."
He gulps, finally tilting his head and meeting your eyes. A facade of indifference covers your entirety, but he is not foolish enough to discern that you are breaking from inside and out.
"Your fate rests on my hands." you mumble and he can only nod in response, waiting for further instructions, "I have some inquiries for you, and you have no choice but to answer honestly."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
You take a deep breath, crouching down and matching his height. That made his eyes widen, coming face to face with you is something that he did not expect.
He stares at your gorgeous face but he prefers your natural one, no make-up, just you. The one that he gazes at during the nights where you sleep in his arms, huddling you closer to his body for more warmth.
You finally asked your first question, "Why did you approach me that night?"
It was a beautiful soirée, the night is young and you enjoy watching your citizens dance and eat as you sit in peace.
Suddenly, a young man appeared in front of you. He elegantly bowed, introducing himself as the son of the great Yang family.
You observed him for a minute. He is dressed in the finest fabric of a suit, hair styled to perfection, and he seems like a clean-cut type of boy.
"Good evening Your Majesty, I have come to ask for your hand for a dance. If I may?" he politely asks and you were shocked at his boldness.
Most people wouldn't dare to do what he just did, too scared to disrespect the unmarried queen of their country. You must applaud him for his bravery.
"All right then, Viscount Yang, I shall accept your invitation." you got off your seat, motioning for the servants to calm down and that you can handle the situation.
The man held your hand delicately, guiding you to the dance floor. The others gasped at the interaction, an uncommon sight of their queen dancing with a man.
As his hand went to your waist, yours on his shoulder and the remaining free hands remained intertwined, you two began swaying to the classical music performed by an ensemble.
You gaze into his cat-like eyes, his sweet smile giving you a sense of comfort.
At that moment, you can't help but think; is this your destined man sent by the heavens?
"It is my mission to get close to you. Such an order was given to me by my employer." he responds, avoiding your eyes as he does so.
"Who is your employer?"
"My apologies, Your Majesty. As part of my integrity, I could not tell you my employer's name." Jungwon closes his eyes, fists clenched so hard that his nails are digging through his palms.
Your hands went up to cradle his face, forcing him to look at you once more.
"Just Y/N. You, calling me 'Your Majesty' is not.. it does not bode well with me." you chuckle a bit, peering into the chocolate orbs that you have grown fond of.
It is astounding how he manages to be this stunning regardless of his unfastidious appearance.
Jungwon is silent for a while, opening his mouth to speak, "I do not h-"
"I am your queen, I command it." you said with finality, using your power to submit to you.
Jungwon inhaled, his sweaty palms shaking as he refrains from covering yours that are still warmly placed on his skin, "I understand, Y/N."
Your eyes soften, feeling joy at hearing your name roll off his tongue, "Now then, tell me why you decided to betray our kingdom. Why would you go through this trouble even when you were born from a noble family?"
He flinched at the straightforward question, but ultimately decided to tell you the truth. Voicing out his hostilities and childhood.
"I am a mere bastard from a maid." he starts and there is no stopping now, "My father needed to save his image. Since he was an acquaintance of the former king-"
"My late father?" you interject and he nods, continuing his story afterwards.
"They conspired together. Killed my mother, adopted me just to belittle me. I was only truly respected by those vermin when I became successful in life. Thus, everything that I did was for revenge. I wanted the royal family to suffer like I did."
A few seconds of pause ensued, letting his narrative sink in. And you sympathize with him, thankful that he opened this to you, trusting you with this valuable information.
"Very well." you then wiped a smudge of dried blood on his cheek, staining your porcelain and clean thumb, "Lastly, did you sincerely love me?"
Jungwon's eyes widened, completely forgetting about the invisible barrier and grasping your hands in his.
He is a raging liar, a traitor, the lowest of the low but when he told you— when he promised you under the stars that he loves you with all his heart, that was the truest sentiment that he could ever muster.
You can doubt his whole being, his existence, even his background but god forbid your dubiety for his love.
It was not in his agenda to fall in love, but with you, harboring such burning feelings was so easy as breathing itself.
Jungwon would rather die than to see or feel your lack of confidence in his affections.
"I did, god I-I do. I still do," he clutched you harder, wanting to get his emotions across you, "I love you so much. Y/N, my eternity, I may be a snake in the grass but my devotion for you is out there in the open, under the sun with the blooming flowers."
It's his love for you that caused this mess in the first place. He was so distracted by the rainbows that a simple slip-up turned his blue skies into rain.
The corner of your lips quivered, his outburst was enough confession, leaning closer to him to press a sweet, lasting kiss on his forehead, mumbling against his skin, "That is all I need to know, my Won."
You abruptly stand up, detaching yourself from Jungwon and tilting your head towards the giant door, speaking in a louder voice while you steeled your expression into one befitting of a queen.
"You may now all come in."
The servants rushed inside the room, positioning themselves in their respective former spots.
You cleared your throat, facing the majority of the people.
"By the power bestowed upon me. I, L/N Y/N, hereby proclaim the accused, Yang Jungwon, to be banished from this sacred land."
You focused on his surprised expression, your teary eyes speaking more than a thousand words to him, "You may never step foot in this country ever again. Once you do, I will have your head presented to me."
You turn to your most trusted knight, ordering him to escort the defector.
Jungwon stands on his feet as well, giving you a tender, longing smile. You see it, the way he mouthed 'I love you', and you have to fight back the tears. You have to be strong as you watch him exit the throne room.
Your eyes landed on your fingers, the gleaming coronation ring next to the jewelry that Jungwon gifted you seems to be mocking you. No matter how sky high your desire is to spend the rest of your life with Jungwon, the fact that you are the grand sovereign of your kingdom will forever tie you to your duties and priorities.
First and foremost, you are married to the nation. Therefore, your wilting heart is nothing more than a nightmare that you shall forget.
---------------------------------------------------
Jungwon continues walking through the dim, torch-illuminated tunnel, when suddenly a cocking sound is heard.
It doesn't take a genius to know what it is, and it made him chuckle in disbelief.
"Yang Jungwon, Her Majesty might have wanted you to be banished. But I wanted you dead."
Jungwon seethes, not having the mood to do child's play, venturing to face the perpetrator who is currently threatening him.
"Are you still vexed that Her Majesty chose me and not you? It's amazing to witness how bitter you are, Jay." he raised an eyebrow, further aggravating the knight.
"Oh?" the older smirks, "I can dispose of you right here without anyone knowing, and you dare speak to me like that?"
"I am not scared of you." Jungwon declares with hardened eyes, flashing orange due to the fire from the torches, staring through Jay's soul, "I am not scared of anything anymore."
Not when he had already lost the person that he treasures the most.
Jay gnashed his teeth, "Then, I'll gladly send you to hell."
"Go ahead," Jungwon shrugs, fully challenging an equipped man, "kill me and go against your queen's orders."

taglist
@ramenoil @shakalakaboomboo @slutforjeno
#enhypen imagines#enhypen angst#enhypen fluff#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#enhypen scenarios#enhypen reactions#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#yang jungwon imagines#yang jungwon fluff#yang jungwon angst#yang jungwon smut#jungwon imagines#jungwon angst#jungwon fluff#jungwon smut#jungwon x reader#jungwon scenarios#jungwon hard hours#jungwon hard thoughts#jungwon#yang jungwon#heeseung imagines#jay imagines#jake imagines#sunghoon imagines#sunoo imagines#niki imagines
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"But Daddy I Love Him!" ~ (lip gallagher x fem!reader's version)
sum! "But Daddy I Love Him!" Taylor swift - The Tortured Poets department.
tw! FACEBOOK... toxic family, mention of having a baby, swearing ig (again its shameless)
uhm this is gonna suck! I have no clue what I'm doing! ok days later n the middle/ending is very sloppy i feel like. idk i kinda dont like it.
"I forget how the west was won, I forget if this was ever fun, I just learned these people only raise you to cage you"
You and Lip were fighting again. You hadn't been getting along as much anymore, you were getting closer to your two year mark too.
No one in your family liked the Gallaghers to begin with, so you couldn't complain to your family (siblings, cousins, whoever). The one who disapproved of your relationship the most though? Your father. Your father hated the relationship you had with Lip. He thought he was going to use you for money, your body, etc. He just knew Gallaghers were usually up to something, so he didn't approve of this relationship as soon as you told him.
Except with how much you and Lip were arguing now, it's hard to remember all the fun you would have. It's like a distant memory that you forget was a dream or not.
"Sarah's and Hannah's in their sunday best, Clutching their pearls, Sighing 'What a mess', I just learned these people try and save you ... cause they hate you"
Your family wasn't just rude to him, you as well. It was a bunch of rich snobs, and if something hadn't gone their way then get rid of it.
They hated you for even being in the vicinity of someone 'lesser' than them. Because god forbid you bring normal people into the wretched family of yours. Your cousins and extended family were known to gossip about others in the family, and right now you were the hot topic.
"too high a horse, for a simple girl to rise above it, they slammed the door on my whole world, the one thing I wanted"
It was an accident. Sort of. With how complicated you and Lip were right now you had changed your relationship status to "it's complicated". Not thinking about how public your page is to your very judgemental family. Lip did the same so he wasn't necessarily mad. All of your cousins, aunts, etc. were messaging you asking what happened, trying to get as much information as they could. It was all fine until your dad texted you.
"Come home."
Oh god. You could feel your stomach doing flips inside of you. You knew what he was going to say. 'You need to break up with this boy if it's to the point you're both telling the entire world how complicated your relationship is right now'. You went over there with the full intent to defend yourself and your boyfriend.
"Now I'm running with my dress unbuttoned, Screaming 'But Daddy I Love Him!' I'm having his baby. No, I'm Not, but you should see your faces"
You got to your parents house and your dad started saying the exact things you thought he would.
"If you're sharing your relationship vis-à-vis the internet than I do not think this relationship should go on." Your dad kept repeating this in different wordings time and time again.
"Dad, me and Lip are just arguing like normal couples do. All you do is talk about how I should break up with him and that he is horrible for me." You snap at him, finally.
You continue your rant, "It isn't up to you to decide for me whether my boyfriend is good for me or not. I'm an adult and I can figure my love life out for myself. He has done nothing but be kind to all of you and get on your good side, but all of you are too snobby to understand that!"
You have to take a break to breath.
"I'm having his child. Not now... but eventually." As you said this they're faces were all filled with shock. Some of them had concern written all over there face.
"I'm telling him to floor it through the fences. No, I'm not coming to my senses, I know he's crazy but he's the one I want"
"I know none of you like him, but I see a future with him. But if you never learn to accept none of you will be apart of this future." God, it felt good finally standing up for yourself in front of your family.
Instead of waiting for them you got up and left. Not wanting to here what kind of excuse he's going to make for himself.
"Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid, tendrils tucked into a woven braid, growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all."
Your way back home had you thinking about your childhood and how you grew up. If there so against difference, and all of your other family is, why were you taught different?
It can't be because of school because you went to school with some family that acts the same as them.
Maybe because you had friends that were in south side? They were friends with the private school's principal and they were able to get in free of cost. You would go over to their house sometimes and it wasn't a huge clean house in a nice pretty neighborhood. Maybe that's why you weren't born to be a horrible person and you actually got to learn about people who weren't as lucky as you.
Which also means from a young age you were already more mature than your entire family.
"He was chaos, he was revelry, Bedroom eyes like a remedy."
You got back to the house and saw Lip on the couch. You went inside and sat next to him. At first he didn't say anything to you. Until he couldn't just not speak.
"Where'd you go?" He mutters, not looking at you still.
"Parents." You answer him almost instantly, looking at him.
He nods, knowing what this is about.
"So, they knock some sense in ya? You dumping me?" He rubs his face and the looks at you.
You snicker, "You must know absolutely nothing about me if you think I'm listening to my parents?"
He smiles and chuckled (i'm thinking of the lil breath through the nose laugh that no one knows what to call...) he knew how stubborn you were when it came to your parents.
"Soon enough the elders had convened, down at the city hall, 'stay away from her', the saboteurs protested too much"
Your family had been trying to text you. Some to apologize, some to try to talk out out of being mad, some to get gossip, the others still trying to get you to break up with him.
Your father had compared you to a '"rebelling teenager" because of how you're acting? You and Lip had stopped arguing for now.
Every time they reached out to him to talk to you through him, he would tell them to stop, "leave her alone", or block them. He was sick of how they treated you and him too.
Almost all of your family was blocked now, because they all decided to text you. The only people you couldn't bring yourself to block were your parents. Even though they were the ones laying it on the strongest. Your mom kept apologising but your dad was saying the same things as before.
"Lord knows the words we never heard, Just screeching tires and true love"
God this whole situation felt like a movie or a taylor swift song. It was ridiculous. Everyone's actions were childish and obnoxious.
You and Lip haven't been arguing in a while, because your attention was on other things at the moment. You two had actually been more romantic. You both have put your status back to normal. Yet, nothing in your life was back to normal.
"I'll tell you something right now, I'd rather burn my whole life down, Than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning"
This had been going on for over a month now. It was just annoying and obnoxious now. Lip knew you defended him and this is why this is still going on. No doubt about this. Except now he was having to deal with you being: bitchy, exhausted, or just annoyed.
It was affecting him now, and he was starting to get pissed.
"I'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace, I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empaths clothing"
"Your parents have been talking to Frank about us. Frank was asking me about you." Lip said through gritted teeth and a scowl, he had been walking inside while I said that.
You roll your eyes and respond in an almost whiny voice, "Please tell me your joking. They have gone way too far with this. First they tell my entire family and now they start on yours?"
"God save the judgemental creeps, Who say they want what's best for me, Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see"
The texts were all the same from your mom and dad.
"We just want what's best for you, and he isn't it!" They would say. Over. And over.
It was so repetitive, you had to block them. Not everywhere just where they would text you the most.
"Thinking it can change the beat of my heart when he touches me, And counteract chemistry, And undo the destiny"
I swear if you never had met him, which your not upset about meeting him, your parents wouldn't complain to you all the time. But oh well. There's a very real possibility they would have done this with anyone who you ended up with, seeing as how everyone they would try and set you up with was not your type.
Since this has been happening, your family would always have witty remarks like: "I'll keep you in my prayers" or "I'm thinking of you"
"You ain't gotta pray for me, Me and my wild boy, and all this wild joy."
When were they going to realize that he made you happy. You liked loved being with him. He was your wild boy. Yours. For no one to take.
"If all you want is gray for me, Then it's just white noise, And it's my choice"
Being with him wasn't there choice to make, it was yours. You just had to blur out all the background noise that meant nothing to you.
"There's a lot of people in town that I, Bestow upon my fakest smiles, Scandal does funny things to pride, But brings lovers closer"
Instead of biting back, you played nice. They would would say something rude and you would respond with a smile. All of the fighting only made you and Lip begin to grow closer to each other.
Their bickering with you about him, was backfiring. Big time.
Your parents saw this. They then saw how you looked at eachother. Realised you went to war for each other. Defending each other to your parents. It made them think a little longer.
"We came back when the heat died down, Went to my parents and they came around, All the wine moms are still holding out, But Fuck 'em, it's over"
Your parents had asked you over again. There wasn't anymore fighting online for a couple of weeks now, but you still went over there with the full intent of defending yourselves.
When they started apologising though you were skeptical at first until you saw the genuine look. They meant the apology. They didn't just apologise for what they said, but the actions they had on social media, how they brought the family into it.
"I was being a hypocrite," Your father had explained, "You were talking about your issues on the internet and then I went and did the same things to the both of you, as well as involving other people when it was unnecessary. I sincerely apologise."
Lip had a subtle smirk on his face, only you and his family could recognise.
You both had thanked him for apologizing, none of your other family had apologized though.
"Now I'm dancing in my dress in the sun and, Even my daddy just loves him, I'm his lady, and oh my God, You should see your faces"
Your parents were now very fond of Lip, praising him consistently. Your mother called him handsome. Your father realised how bright he was. Most of all they realised how good the two of you were for each other and how much he loves you.
"No you can't come to the wedding, I know he's crazy but he's the one I want"
You were at your family's annual gathering when one of your cousins came over to the two of you, "So when's your wedding?"
You laughed, "If and when it happens it will solely be immediate family and some friends that will be invited. The ones who actually care about us, ya know?"
#shameless x reader#shameless us x reader#lip gallagher x reader#phillip gallagher x reader#reader x lip gallagher#reader x phillip gallagher#frank gallaher#reader x shameless#reader x shameless us#lip gallagher x y/n#lip gallagher x you#y/n x lip gallagher#you x lip gallagher#but daddy i love him#playlist fics
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The Fingernail Issue
c: gojo wasn't told of toji having a sibling leading him to wonder what kind of brother toji fushiguro was
c/w: Reader is adopted here, modern au, fluff, Toji's family are not a bunch of assholes, Reader is Toji's adoptive sibling, platonic and crack and humour ig
a/n: thought about this while making potato chips
"You have a sibling!? Why haven't you told us?"
"There was no need."
Toji slurped his noodles, ignoring the groan that he got from Gojo Satoru. Being in the same club with Gojo Satoru and a few other extras proved to be quite fun. He thought joining the basketball club with egocentric people would be infuriating but in this little group he managed to make friends suprisingly. He let Sukuna take his shrimp while he shrugs, right now; Gojo was quite adamant on getting to know his kid sibling that was in the same school as him, just two grades lower than him.
Geto slips in a joke if he wanted to court them or something since the white haired male next to him who was currently miming a camera with his two hands. Just the thought of another Fushiguro gave him the heebie jeebies, he was already offputting with how crass his personality was, his sibling would probably be the same. He gagged to Geto's comment, his hand on his chin when he thought about it.
"Unless, your sibling isn't a carbon copy of you and is way more better than you.."
Sukuna waved his hand to deny that sentence with a smirk and it received a nudge from Toji, they had this whispering thing they had going on to keep secrets away from Gojo and they giggle like two middle schoolers finding out about a dirty secret.
"Oh so you've met them, Ryoumen?" Nanami sipped his coffee, he had his notebook infront of him, consistently taking notes since he'd miss a day of school and its already biting him in the ass. The pink haired male shrugged, copying the same move as his friend that made Gojo click his tongue to.
"If you don't like them, why are you even curious?"
Gojo defended himself, "Its not that I dont like them, I barely met them. Its just that.."
Without noticing he painted an image of you even before seeing you in the flesh so maybe you weren't that bad. Gojo just cant imagine Toji having a sibling, would he be a doting brother? A strict one? Geto had stated stuff about dating and he barely batted an eye so it looked like to Gojo that Toji didnt really care about you but the next words that Toji said irked him.
"You look like you have a lot on your mind, Gojo. Mind sharing?"
Toji finished his noodles but thought of leaving some of the soup at the bottom, thats where all the seasonings sink to. Knocking his chopsticks into the bowl, he leaned forward to hear what Gojo had say. Gojo was the type to walk past the obvious and it was funny. Seeing THE Gojo Satoru struggle was entertaining.
"Nah, I'm good, I'll just see them myself." He bit on his lollipop, crunching up the last bits down his throat.
"Good luck finding them then," The black haired man got up from his seat with his tray and Gojo gasped. He hasn't even finished asking questions but knowing him, he loved avoiding questions like some personal torture he lets people go through.
"I'm bringing my mom to the clinic so I gotta run," Toji gruffly said, grabbing his jacket and he was so fast to slip away.
"Hey! Are you sure you're not using that as an excuse again? Me and Suguru legit saw Mrs. Fushiguro doing laps the other day!"
"Even did some cardio too.." Geto chuckled, remembering how Toji's mom proudly confessed how she had done a lot of stuff in one day. It made him smile while Gojo was sulking like a poodle beside him. Sukuna cleared his throat from eating and cleaned his plates up. He glanced at Gojo mischeviously.
"Well.. if you want to know one thing.." Sukuna dragged the silence a little longer before chuckling. "They're a bit of the same."
Sukuna too walks away, waving slyly to meet up for practise soon and Gojo scoffed. That sleazy bastard thought that information on you was new.
"That was sooo lame."
-------------
Toji had his hands on the wheel, listening to his mother talk about what should they have for dinner. In between talking about your favourites and if his dad was gonna come home, she recalled the days where you first came home.
Mama Fushiguro liked recalling this a lot and when many people were bored by this tale by now, Toji showed interest. He didn't admit though when he finally had a kid sibling in his house, he was actually pretty elated. The house was quiet on its own with himself but with you, it was like he had a friend.
When you are adopted, his peace wasn't disrupted at all but it was like yours was. You were in a completely new environment but not unfamiliar. You had been fostered before but he didn't pry into your past, there was no need to he thinks. It was normal for you to be distant even if his parents try to pry you out your shell like a cat with its nails stuck on the walls. You claw back to your comfort and wasn't all that talkative.
He didn't force you to talk or advise you on anything because it was clear you could handle yourself, you just like to keep to yourself more than his parents. But knowing this doesn't make the bond between you and him all the more stumped. He did attempted to eventhough his mother would nag about how it was barely anything; calling you down for dinner wasn't talking and hell, task dividing either!
Going to the same college didn't made you two any closer. He thought asking you about school was corny and didn't bother, he didn't really think much of it. By the tired look in your face, it was more than enough to know what you've been through but he was sure you stayed out of trouble because he made sure of that.
He took his usual route back to the car but realise you were a bit late. You weren't usually tardy, he was and even so you would still wait for him out of courtesy. He spun back around and thought of fetching you in an instant. Maybe now was the time he would open his mouth and talk to you.
There was a bit of a ruckus in one of the classrooms. If he didn't had sharp ears then he would've walked right past but that was one of the subject classes you attend and peeped in.
It was horrid.
He saw a bunch of hooligans messing up your notebooks and scraping it against the ground with their shoes. He recognized some of them as they squat at your level and taunt you.
It was some people in his fan club or whatever and he heard bits of how someone this puny couldn't be his sibling. You were clutching onto a bag and it wasn't just your bag that you were concerned of, the laptop that his parents gave were in it and the bag slides clean off and you were only protecting the laptop with your life. You didn't mind your keychains being ripped off and tossed about but amongst the stomping, the laptop was clutched tightly in your arms.
"Hey!"
His shout boomed across the room, shocking even you. You looked up to see your brother and he looked about ready to rip into the bullies with his bare hands. The group turned pale when they saw that their idol had caught them in the act of tormenting his little sibling and bit their tongue as their knees wobble.
The details of the lecture/threat of Toji wasn't heard as your ears buzz with fear. His touch made you snap back to reality, his rough hands helping you up gently and you wobble in your place.
"Holy shit.." You exclaimed in a huff to which he looked at you in an instant.
"You're really fucking loud when you're mad."
Silence settled to which the both of you laughed at in few seconds. This was the first time you didn't feel akward and commented so honestly. He patted your back and pick up your stuff, though soiled; atleast you were only shaken but unharmed.
The walk back to the car came naturally albeit a bit of limping in your step, you had twisted your ankle while running to catch the laptop before the others did and it sparked hellfire in Toji. His main priority now is atleast offering a crumb of comfort and heard out your reasoning for portecting a device rather than your skull.
"We could always buy you a new laptop,"
"I like the one now."
"Its not worth it breaking your skull in to protect it though."
To be honest, it wasn't about liking it. Just the big smiles on your adoptive parents' faces when they urged you to open the gift they bought you, it made your eyes all teary.
You weren't adopted before but you had to go through mean foster parents that had too much on their hands and that led to negliance to your needs. That led to several arguments and got you sent to the adoption center and it broke you, just the thought of connecting with another family made you numb.
But this family was so gentle with you. Even when you showed that there was no need for such kindness yet it wasn't that they coaxed you out of your shell but that they were so tender through their actions.
Toji notices the tears and scratches the back of his neck, he didn't read this in the big brother dummy book to know what to do if his little sibling cries. You had a distant look in your eyes before you realised you had reached the car with him.
Thankfully, both parents didn't notice the missing schoolbag or the agitated state that you're in. They were all smiles and Mamaguro was powdering on her face so it meant a family outing tonight.
You couldn't help but panic when you try to think of an explanation of your missing bag but Toji butted in on his parents conversations.
"Hey, Y/N wanted some ice cream before dinner, is that okay?"
Toji blurted out all of a sudden and you so badly wanted to deny it but he dug a deeper hole for you when the two agreed so quickly. They were excited that you finally requested something in a while and the car swerved to the nearest convenience store. Your brother adjusted himself in his seat, taking out his earphones and leaned a bit closer so the two infront won't hear.
"No worries, there's a store that sells bags beside the convenience store."
You huffed out a breath, your mouth feeling so dry and nodded to his words. He was a life saver.
Toji remembered how jittery you were when he suddenly made up some shit about you wanting ice cream that he couldn't help but chuckle outloud. The light from your eyes almost dimmed when you thought he would snitch on you. He parked close to the clinic, turning his back to grab an umbrella incase it rained. His mom pouted to his sudden chuckle and sighed.
"What are you laughing for? You're not ditching practise, yknow? You're going after you send me off at the clinic."
"Huh?" His mom showed a text conversation between her and Geto and scoffed. The lengths that man bun would go to have him show up at practise. That damn milf hunter-
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"Hands up if your name is Y/N Fushiguro!!!" The class erupted in some noise upon seeing the popular duo stand near the doors of their class. When you heard your name being called, you reluctantly raised your hand; recognising who these two were.
The duo's faces fell for a moment, choking. Oh, you were adopted? Not in an offensive way obviously but Gojo might've heaved a sigh of relief. Atleast you weren't a splitting reflection of your brother, that would give him nightmares! Geto on the other hand realised why Toji would hide such a fact, an element of suprise if you will. He thought the two of them wouldn't find you out in an instant, did Toji thought so low of them? You raised a brow, wondering what they wanted.
They watched you walk out the classroom and Gojo adjusted his glasses. The graphic t-shirt and the style you had was a sublte influence from your brother.
"Well, well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"
You had the exact relaxed expression like your brother except you slowly turn weirded out, why were they ogling you like this?
You took time to observe them head to toe subtly while Gojo yapped about the tale of how Toji didn't reveal that he had a younger sibling, they were lean and muscular and they had this obvious good cop bad cop duo energy. The white haired man sounded visibly upset that you were kept as a secret from the rest, was this some kind of facade to get to know you better? You shifted to one foot to another, stopping the music playing in your earpods and cleared your throat.
"Do you want to get with my brother or something orrr...?" Gojo didn't get to the point so you went straight in but due to their reactions, you might've miscalculated. Tilting your head, you pointed at Geto's painted nails and the earrings he had.
"And you.. are you two like gay or something?" You put your hands in defense, talking quickly before they get the wrong idea, "Hey, I don't discriminate. I just barely had any fans of my brother be male sooo..."
For once in their lives, Gojo was speechless and Geto had his eyes wide open like crazy.
One thing was for sure, anyting that was the apart of the Fushiguro family was a complete nightmare.
#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujustu kaisen#jjk scenarios#jujutsu kaisen x gender neutral reader#jujutsu kaisen#geto x reader#geto scenarios#geto x you#gojo x reader#gojo saturo#gojo satoru#geto x gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x reader x geto#gojo x y/n#sukuna x reader#sukuna x y/n#sukuna scenarios#sukuna x you#ryoumen sukuna#sukuna ryomen#sukuna jjk#toji scenarios#toji hcs#toji zenin#toji fushiguro#fushiguro toji
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TMAGP 16 live thoughts!!
This episode started with a hello Jon dedication I'm already feeling like this won't be a fun time
-oh my god poor Alice the trauma is already starting
-celia does believe you alice trust she's seen some shit
-no the Horrors need to pay their dues with you alice
-alice dyer everybody, working right after watching a woman die
-yeah Sam stop talking
-CHESTERRRRR
-social media??
-#GOTHGIRL MY GOD
-WOAH INKSOUL BACK??
-okay inksoul is important
-oh my god it's a live stream archive
-oh my fucking god they're using internet slang
-WHO TOLD THEM THEY HAD ACCESS TO USE NO CAP IN A SCRIPT?
-holy shit this is awful
-PLEASE INKSOUL KILL THIS WOMAN SO I DONT HAVE TO HEAR HER SAY ANOTHER WORD
-please fucking KILL me
-OH MY GOD THE SOUND EFFECTS ARE KILLING ME
-woah world's quickest tattoo
-what in the fuck tattoo did they give you??
- dude inksoul got so tired of her shit so quick I'm with them on this
-GIRL YOU ARE NOT IN A SITUATIONSHIP THEY HATES YOUR ASS
-HOLY SHIT PLEASE THE SOUND EFFECTS ARE GONNA KILL ME
-when is Madam's soundboard gonna drop I need it
-i never thought I would hear the word "sus" in a rusty quill podcast but okay
-so this is the point we've reached in humanity
-STOP SAYING SUS
-I AM IN CLASS LISTENING TO THIS TRYING NOT TO BURST OUT LAUGHING PLEEEEEASE
-oh my god inksoul is digging up bodies?? WAIT no this related to the other case where uh person with tattoos was looking for the body they dug up, is this the same cemetary?? So it was actually inksoul trying to find that body??
-NOT THE BRUH SOUND EFFECT
-"so I bail" I can imagine her scurrying away like a cartoon character
-yeah girl only real goths dig up corpses, get with the times girly
-oh naurrrr
-OKAY SO THEY ARE ROBBING GRAVES
-vicious pick me trash fr girl
-OH MY GOD ITS A YOUTUBER APOLOGY BAHAHA
-"Im such a good person" OH MY GOD KILL ME
-"ig we're ops??" Who in the fuck wrote this episode
-I need to stop typing this post is going to be so long because I can't bare listening to the internet slang
-oh so her heart IS breaking
-yeah you're actually not okay
-UMMMM "help" ????
-THIS HAPPENED RECENTLY IN MARCH??
-oh thank god the cats are okay
-oh my god she's actually letting hate comments kill her wtf
-OH OH OH EW EW EW THAT NOISE
-DID HER HEART RIP OUT??
-please alice go get coffee get me some too
-gwen wtf
-oh so Lena is pissed
-I DONT LIKE THIS
-lmao Lena is actually being sensible here
-STOP BRINGING ELDRITCH HORRORS INTO THE OFFICE??? LENA IS KINDA RIGHT HERE YOU SAW WHAT BONZO WAS WHY DID YOU THINK THIS EXTERNAL WAS ANY BETTER
-yeah you might just die holy shit gwen
-Gwen you are gonna get fired
-okay who wrote this episode credits tell me
-ALEXANDER J NEWALL YOU FUCKING BASTARD
Okay ignoring everything else I just had to torture myself with by listening to, genuinely interesting episode. We have confirmation now that inksoul is hunting down corpses for some reason. Inksoul is definitely important and will be showing up again soon I fear.
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Sega Mega Drive - Dahna Megami Tanjoh
Title: Dahna Megami Tanjoh / ダーナ 女神誕生
Developer/Publisher: Information Global Service (IGS)
Release date: 20 December 1991
Catalogue No.: T-64013
Genre: Action
Dahna is a game I find myself coming back to often, struggling with its controls, unrelenting difficulty, and unappealing visuals. Why? Seriously, I don’t know. There’s just something that keeps me stumbling back for more, like a masochist in withdrawal for some cruel yet delicious form of torture. It must be that I simply want to complete it to never have to touch it again, or it may have something to do with the untapped potential you can so easily see, the potential that all but gives up so close to its goal. I can kind of see why this one was left in Japan and Korea.
Dahna is the story of two daughters, Regine and Dahna. Both were born with incredible magic powers, especially Regine. Her power was so great that forces from the underworld killed their parents and kidnapped her. Dahna escaped and was raised by the sorcerer Magh. When Magh is kidnapped by an evil sorceress the now-grown Dahna sets out to save him. It would be easy to draw comparisons to Golden Axe by giving Dahna a cursory glance. In reality, it is closer to being the Rastan game we never got for Genesis (we did get a Rastain game for the Master System, Game Gear, and MSX). And yes, I’m including Rastan Saga 2 (Mega Drive & PC Engine) in that. Dahna has a variety of sword attacks similar to Zelda 2. You have a standard three-hit sword combo, that can up stab and downward stab. You have a magic meter that builds up by defeating enemies or collecting items. Depending on the amount gathered you can perform one of three spells.
Mechanically Dahna is sound. The problems come from the stiff controls. Anything that does not involve attacking has a slight delay. If an enemy leaps behind, you Dahna is slow to turn around and attack. You can both crouch and crawl along on the ground. But doing either is very slow as you have to manually get back up in steps when performing either action. There is a considerable amount of platforming and for the most part the controls are serviceable. The times where the high jump won’t perform on command is cause for much frustration, however.
What ultimately ruins the game is the insane difficulty. Dahna gives you a single life and five credits to reach its conclusion. That is far from ideal considering the massive undertaking ahead. There are bottomless pits at every turn and with the less-than-ideal controls chances are you will fall into more than a few. The game does not refill your life bar between levels which is insane. In fact, life-restoring items are rare: at most you’ll restore three or four bars of health. That is nothing. The only way to fully restore your health is to reach one hundred thousand experience points, which also increases your max health.
The most disappointing aspect of Dahna is that it could have been solid. There are plenty of elements within the game that I really like. There is a great deal of variety from one stage to the next. Stage 1 begins with you on the back of a giant. It is incredibly similar to the Bizarrians in Golden Axe, and I would have loved to see more of that. The following level sees you on horseback as you ride down a mountain. Later on, you even fly on the back of a dragon. When everything is working right combat can be fun. The game is very bloody and has creative bosses as well. But you have to tolerate a lot of janks to appreciate its good points. A few slight tweaks would have gone a long way.
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Hey!
saw an ask game and was kinda bored and watned to chat, so here:
headphones or earbuds?
do you talk to yourself?
what do you think says the most about a person?
and finally. . .
what's one weird fact you know?
That's all, have a wonderful day! :)
Heyyy! Thanks for sending this!!
I definitely am an earbuds person.
I talk to myself 24/7, especially when I’m trying to do something haha.
I think it’s hard to choose just one thing because there’s so much that can reveal a lot about a person. I might sound crazy bc I know it’s always said “don’t judge a book by its cover” but that’s so not true. I think the way someone chooses to express themselves in their clothes and style and hair etc. really tells you a lot because if you pay attention, that’s a big look into what they like and prefer, sometimes what their interests are, and sometimes it can even indicate some personality traits too. For a basic example, if someone regularly wears a lot of makeup, like lipstick and detailed eyeshadow, that tells me that they’re artsy and they like making things beautiful. And I think the same thing about how someone decorates their home/bedroom, because that’s giving you probably and even bigger look into who they are. Because every single item in there really just represents a little piece of them. It can give a lot about their personality and interests.
Butttttt if we’re talking about mainly personality traits and particularly in the sense of whether they’re trustworthy, kind, reliable, etc. I think one of the biggest things (kinda an obvious thing too ig) is how they talk about other people when they aren’t around. I mean not only does that give insight into wether or not they’re two faced but it kinda can tell you if someone is a bitter person, if they’re spiteful, it can show if they’re insecure and so much more. But also, I think how someone reacts when a friend or loved one (or even a stranger in some cases) is in need or having a hard time. There’s A LOTTTTT that can say about someone, too much for me to get into.
As for a weird fact, I’m sure I know a million but I can’t think of very many off the top of my head, so you may have heard this one before lol but apparently Dolphins can be malicious. Male dolphins regularly SA female ones, sometimes groups of males will find a female and separate her from her school (? Idk what it’s called? Herd?) and take turns SAing the female until it sometimes dies. And if the female resists they’ll bite and attack it until it’s weak enough. They torture and kill other animals for fun, not for food. And another fun little fact is that they like getting high off pufferfish venom.
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i saw endgame and uh. yeah lmao
#spoilers in tags#avengers endgame#endgame spoilers#okay so literally i was really enjoying a lot of it#even if the ideas were derivative they were fun#but the cap thing was so fucking dumb dude#i should have known with how much they emphasize peggy in this movie that some fuckshit would happen but holy bad characterization#doesnt she have a husband and kids? like those kids were just unborn ig#didnt he miss his friends who JUST got undusted? doesnt he care about them at all?#how can he sleep at night with his happy normal life while he KNOWS bucky is being tortured and brainwashed and killed#im not even a stucky but like that was his ride or die friend who he would do anything for#but they dont have a moment#they barely speak at all#and then cap leaves everyone behind#its just dreadful#what a sour end to the movie#also the stuff about fat thor was fucking digusting and made me feel terrible about myself#and where is loki :(
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Despair - Mondstadt
Pt. 2
So I made the mistake of reading a bunch of villain darling AU content and somehow managed to make myself cry with my own ideas so that's something,,,,Ig this isn't really "villain" darling since they never really end up being a villain, it's more so just sad. (also its kinda lengthy so I'll probably split it up into 3 or 4 parts)
Description of reader (just including it as a warning): Hair long enough to cut - and make a significant difference - but the gender is still neutral!
Warnings!: angst; injuries and violence / ab*se; Genshin characters being assholes tbh.
The moment you found yourself in Teyvat, you were beyond ecstatic. You were just so excited to meet the characters you cared so much about; the characters you worked so hard on perfecting to be at their strongest. You were also very intrigued on learning more into the lore of this world, and there was no better way than to be here yourself.
You awoke somewhere in Mondstadt, and since you played so often, you remembered how to get to the city. The thing is, nothing turned out in your favour. Everyone either ignored you or harassed you, even those you thought were very kind people were now all turning on you without any reasonable explanation. They called you an "imposter," they called you a "disgrace." The harassment would never end, the abuse you suffered would never cease.
You thought getting to meet the archons would be fun, that is, until you met Venti. He was absolutely horrid towards you, laughing at you, mocking your appearance and attacking you. He told you that you were a grave sinner, and such a blasphemous transgression would not be taken lightly.
Even if you had thought things couldn't have gotten any worse, you were completely wrong. You were so very hungry, all you asked for was a single piece of food, but everyone refused to sell anything to you. Hell, it wasn't even like you had any mora in the first place to give.
It got so worse to the point where the knights were chasing you down, almost as if they were holding pitchforks and going to burn you on a stake. You fled from the city, tired, filthy, injured and hungry. You no longer remembered how far you ran, but you still could tell where you were. Afterall, you had spent so much time and energy into this game that you were so familiar with different areas and environments.
You hid under a tree somewhere in the Dadaupa Gorge, starving and wishing for just a tiny bit of food. You were exhausted, you didn't know how long it'd been since you last slept. You couldn't sleep even if you wanted to, the paranoia and anxiety haunted your every thought and it was even worse within your dreams.
You stared at your lap, your clothes soiled and dirtied from all of the torture the people of Mondstadt had done to you, and since you couldn't buy any new clothes, these were the only things you had, no matter how disfigured or smeared in dirt they were. You rubbed your hands together and winced, the cuts on your hands burned, and your whole body was aching.
In the corner of your eye you found what might have been your saviour. A light of hope within these dark times. Of course, there was no question that it couldn't be a person. No one would help you, and you would be afraid the moment anyone even came near you. No, your saviour was a mere Sunsettia tree, that bore several delicious fruits.
You plucked one off of the branches, trying to make as little noise as possible, and eventually sat down on the soft grass. It was quite peaceful at the moment, though you knew it would do little to soothe your scarred mind. Looking down to the plump fruit in your hands, you ran your fingers along the intricate details.
Despite how horrible you were being treated in this place, you couldn't help but admire how beautiful everything looked. Unlike you, who was covered in dirt and injuries from head to toe. You almost felt jealous of it, how utterly clean and ripe it looked making you feel bad for taking a bite. It made you feel as if someone like you shouldn't be ruining such a good fruit, even if it was your only hope to surviving.
You ate it rather fast, as you were starving and receiving the food was like having a cup of water after being parched for days on end. It was so much more tasty than you could've imagined while playing the game. It was truly a strange thing, how being in such a state of sadness could make you see how perfect everything was around you.
The world that you were supposed to enjoy, and bask in all of the good things, and maybe some of the bad things but nothing like this. You still remembered your initial dream to explore this place and become good friends with all of the characters you loved so much, that dream had quickly faded, and it hadn't even taken much time.
You grabbed more of the sunsettias, eating as many as it took to satisfy your hunger, while observing the way the leaves blowed in the gentle wind, same with the grass. How the clouds moved up above, and the birds flying high up in the sky. This scenery would have been so relaxing if it hadn't been the very wind to nearly kill you as you walked through Mondstadt. The anemo archon himself wished nothing more than for you to disappear, but how could this place still be so...calm?
You chuckled quietly to yourself, perhaps being miserable made you think more philosophical. Not even just that, but also made you think a lot more depressing thoughts than usual. You reached up towards your shortened hair, remembering the moment so vividly, it made you shiver in fear. The way the acting grand master who you had been so excited to meet had you by the hair, and sliced most of it off.
Everyone around had laughed at you, mocked you, and even proceeded to assault you even more. You decided that you didn't like Mondstadt as much as you thought anymore. Even now, as you wished to move, to do anything but stay in one place, because staying in one place meant you'd be easier to find.
Although you didn't have any intention on going to Liyue, you had one idea that you weren't even sure would work. It wasn't until you stumbled into a hilichurl camp on accident that you had found an answer.
Instead of attacking you like everything else in this world seemed to enjoy doing, they brought you gifts, fruits, vegetables, old clothes that must've been left by wandering adventures, one of the hilichurls even brought you a squirrel - still alive of course.
You found an old cloak, it looked like it would tear so easily, but it was your only option. You put it on, hiding as much of your features as you possibly could, and thanked the hilichurls for being so kind to you. They were the first creatures you'd met to actually help you, rather than despise your existence.
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and I think with or without redemption its still cathartic to see a villain get dealt a lot of pain like even if the person dealing the blows has no real grievance with him. Its like narrative karma kinda like how Matt Damon gets his head blown off by Mark Wahlberg in the The Departed, not necessarily someone he personally wronged but just very fun to witness as an audience member.
all of them r fucked up but ig les is the best [or is the most entertaining] at being fucked up? but if u want that suffering ur gonna see a lot of that including some from louis. rj&co have suggested theyre saving louis’s Burn Lestat™️ card for s2, and armand is definitely gonna put lestat thru the torture rack. i think louis being more agentic in lestat’s s1 attempted murder plot has a lot of implications, and i want to ask my unanswered anons who keep asking me to repeat myself about lestat: what kind of catharsis r u looking for? and what show do u think ur watching? it reminds me of how @likethemodel said, with shows like hannibal people are perfectly fine with an amoral, unchanging, evil to be evil for fun’s sake character, but with iwtv, theyre so discomfitted by it. why? is it bc u cant look away & lie to urselves the same way u can with other types of charas like this? idk. i havent watched hannibal, they did so . yea. but if u wanna see les go thru hell, its coming lol. but if u want like some adolescence of utena type shit where claudia and louis run over lestat w his car & leave to the outside world type shit its probably not going to happen. part of claudia & louis’s relationship decaying has to fundamentally incorporate the fact thatlouis wants to wants to be desired& the focal point of someone else’s caring control at the expense of claudia, who especially showverse cannot provide louis such things as a immortal girlchild. his daughter, his redemption, can only go so far. u ‘liberated’ urself from lestat, whats next? like. claudia isnt going to die in s2ep1. shes going to be in majority of that season. claudia warns louis about armand’s intentions toward harming her, but louis is so in love he ignores it n thats a big part in how their relationship degrades. so its just all around fun fucked up shit coming that some ppl will be rly angry at n treat it as if its a fault of the writing. when its rly themselves who put expectations if not completely made up things that have very weak /nonexistent canon basis so far much less later on. these immortal characters are endlessly forgiving of brutality. they love + rationalize the acts of their abusers. while they go thru character development, they somewhat remain stagnant in their flaws. bc what is immortality if not living the same life over n over n over n over aga
#Now no more ‘is lestat going to be redeemed’ asks im tied idgaf!!!! leave me alone#yn.#yn answers#iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#claudia#armand
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I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier
I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-
It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(
This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅
Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!
Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha
Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused
This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen
My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭
To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.
To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.
When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.
So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.
If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.
Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.
Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖
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*grabby hands* animatic ideas do tell :D
well the entire superbloom album is literally dream smp animatics to me... im sorry mandy you wrote a wonderful album about cool topics and stuff but its about a minecraft roleplay now, and these next ones are all off that album :D also half of them are c!tubbo because well. you know who youre talking to lmao
this got LONG so
the end: c!tubbo. in general. "all good things come to an end / to make room for new beginnings / all good things come to an end, an end, an end, but it's not the end" c!tommy's death. losing l'manberg. etc.
ghost: this is a walking exile arc clingy duo animatic are you. are you fukcing kidding me. tommy hallucinatnig tubbo? "everywhere i go / i see your ghost / every alley every road / i see you close / not enough to hold" HE HALLUCINATES HIM ??? and "go to sleep, go to sleep to see your face / i wake up, i wake up trace" dont tell me they wouldnt. "i have tried, i have tried to erase you / but that's a crime, that's a crime i just can't do" THE PHOTOS OF TUBBO & MD AND STUFF?? (that dream took down but) come ON. this song is about them ueueue
whywhywhy: i imagine this about c!tubbo during new l'manberg ig. "am i allowed to lay down my smile / and be bitter just for a while?" its just kinda . i could see it fitting him therefore it does in my head because i have brainrot
alone: bee duo and i typed up a line by line description of the animatic in my head but i cant find it so . ahahah there goes those hours but HEY its ok... i still have it in my head :') they r healing nd growing together <3
over the rainbow: this could. this could so be an animatic where c!ponk goes absolutely batshit. any of them really but it IS a breakup song so... you go ponk youre doing great sweetie <3 also though. let c!niki get absolutely PISSED and pop off. please. or c!tubbo you know HSDHSFDJL
it's my turn: this is about the cookie outpost this is about the cookie outpost this is about the-
no but seriously. c!tubbo talks about how everyone else always gets to break the rules and mess things up during that conflict, and that's entirely what this song is about. "now it's my turn to be the crazy one / to finally come undone / to go and let the house just burn / to mess the system up" its literally about that
(also the song has a nice instrumental with a computerised synthesizer i believe and it reminds me of lemon demon which reminds me of ranboo so its so fun to imagine a little montage of bee duo building the outpost and arguing and just LOOKING COOL!!! they always end back to back with arms crossed looking at the camera all cool in my head its awesome)
find my way home: c!tubbo for self projection reasons, nothing more
7-2: INCREDIBLE news. you know how i've mentioned c!tubbo in all of these nand how it could be about him. WELL THIS ONE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM!!! a miracle on this blog, really. this one is about PONK and really i should be able to just type the chorus and you'll all know exactly what it's about
"cause i've walked through fires and danced upon my own broken heart / piece myself back together every time i fall apart / cause ive won hands over again with the least favoured pair of cards / 7-2 i'll always love you cause you got me so damn far"
are you FUKCING KIDDING ME
"walked through fires"? yeah. damn right she did. sam burned him in lava. "danced upon my own broken heart?" yeah. broken heart. sam was their boyfriend. they moved on to foolish. dancing upon a broken heart, making it seem like nothing, laughing at it. yeah. "piece myself back together every time i fall apart"??? yeah. respawning after sam killed him multiple times . YEAH. "cause ive won hands over again with the least favoured pair of cards" ????? CARDS??? KEY CARDS?? THE REASON SAM KILLED PONK AND TORTURED THEM AND CUT HER ARM OFF ???? "7-2 i'll always love you cause you got me so damn far" ponk still loves sam TRY and tell me otherwise
oxygen: so this song is essentially about, well... "thought you were my oxygen / but you were just the opposite" sums it up pretty well.
and the number one reason i say this song should be like. every fandom has one is the way it's created musically. "words that ive heard from my mother and everybody else i know." theres a dissconnect before the word "know" and you should cut out from one character saying it to them to ALL the characters saying it. zoom out. PLEASE. then the prechorus has this lovely harmony so its two voices at one.. two characters? have the two characters leaning on on opposite sides of a wall, away from each other, saying it. "i don't wanna be so damn afraid / of all this very necessary change / hundred times i watched you walk away / and now i'm okay" LET THEM BOTH SING IT ABOUT EACH OTHER. also its just a cool badass song
anyways so this song dsmp wise could be about so many things. angsty c!duo because we all know they were codepend in the l'manberg days (not their fault obviously... god there was one line in a fic i read that made me SOB) but MAINLY i can imagine everyone after c!wilbur blew up l'manberg and. they all loved him so much and he betrayed them like that and his mental health had been deteriorating in exile and,,, (once again not his fault but like??? we all know c!niki was rightfully pissed. give her an animatic on it. also c!fundy.). also could be c!quackity about c!schlatt.... etc etc etc
ALSO our own house by misterwives is about l'manberg.... "we built our own house, own house / with our hands over our hearts / and we swore on that day / that it'll never fall apart" i. i miss l'manberg a lot
sorry how many of these were about c!tubbo. actually i'm not at all but the sentiment is still there. i am sorry that i butchered all of mandy's incredible songs about cool topics and stuff and made it to be about a minecraft roleplay. mandy i am so so sorry you are so cool marry me please
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Centuries--Three
Word Count: 2255
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Characters: Sam, Dean, Cas, Jack, Reader, Crowley (Mentioned), Maggie (Mentioned), Hezekiah (OG, Mentioned), Farid (OG)
About: The Reader and Dean go out after learning from Cas that she is on both Heavens and Hells most wanted list. They are then cornered by a few demons where they learn about another missing piece of the Readers missing memories. One that has both Dean and Reader agreeing that Sam mustn’t know about.
Warnings: Language, Tease (Sexual), Fluff, Angst, Fighting, Blood and Gore, Panic Attack,
A/N: I am noticing that I am changing my original story line a bit. I really hope you all like it!!!!
A/N 2: Tag all your fave accounts/friends who love SPN!!!
A/N 3: If you want to be tagged in of my fics, Let me know below or send me a DM!!!
Forever Tag List: @hobby27 @donnaintx @myinconnelly1 @magssteenkamp @elansaidaris @440mxs-wife @squirrelnotsam
Dean/Jensen Tag List: @akshi8278 @sandlee44
*18+ CONTENT. ANYONE YOUNGER THAN 18 WILL NEED TO MOVE ON. I DON’T WANT TO RISK MY ACCOUNT BEING THANOSED.
**PLEASE DO NOT COPY AND PASTE MY WORK ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION OR WITHOUT GIVING ME THE PROPER CREDIT. I WORK TOO HARD ON MY STORIES TO HAVE THEM STOLEN.
***THIS WORK IS ALSO POSTED ON IG, WATTPAD, AND AO3. PLEASE GO SHOW THEM SOME LOVE THERE TOO.
"A whole fucking year?!" Dean asks the next morning. He sits up in bed and tousles his hair. If he weren't too annoyed and upset, I would have found the action sexy and hot. But I don't, also doesn't mean I'm not turn on by it. "And you didn't think to wake me up with this information?"
I take a deep breath. Understand what he's saying. I should have woken him up but, to be honest, I was more focused on what I was feeling when I found out I had been back for a full on year. "According to what Sam found on the phone," I say rolling out of bed. Before I get dressed, I turn back to Dean. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. You actually looked really peaceful sleeping."
When I came back to the room, I had seen how peaceful he looked. Even when I was living the first time around...wow, I never knew I would ever have a thought like that. Dean rarely ever saw rest like that. It could have been the sex. It could have been seeing me alive and somewhat well. It could have been a combination of both.
Dean nods his head and rolls out of bed. I bite my lip as I see his entire figure. "I did sleep good," He turns back to me and smiles at me. Then he notices me staring at him. Dean leans over the bed and eyes the black underwear I'm wearing under his tshirt. "You know," he tugs at the hem of the shirt and elastic of the underwear. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."
I smile and playfully push his hand back. "Not now," I pull some pants on and throw my hair up in a hair tie. Turning back around dean is in my favorite red button up shirt. That damn red shirt did things to me and made me feel things that are just as dirty as the sex last night.
"Well, now that's hot." Dean's dressed and pulls me into his arms. "Maybe we can get you some fake glasses and you can teach me a few lessons." His voices purrs against my skin and I am very tempted to rip my clothes off and shove Dean on the bed. But I can't. Not this time at least. We have so much to do and get onto.
"Sweetheart," I say wrapping my arms around his neck. "When all of this over and I get a years worth of memories back, you can have me in whatever way and shape you want." I plant a soft and gentle kiss on his lips.
"I guess we should get those memories back then huh?" Dean gives my ass a little squeeze before pushing away from me. "What do you say we get some food?"
We head to the kitchen to hear Sam talking to Cas. When we enter the Kitchen we see the two of them huddled up while Jack sat a few feet from them looking at a book. He looks confused and interested at the same time. Cas looks up and stops talking.
"What's up?" I ask sitting across from Jack but the questions is aimed at Cas and Sam. They continue to look at me and not say anything. Dean picks it up too.
"Dragons are real?" Jack looks up at me with his eye brows knitted together.
"Yes," I say. "They kidnap virgins and the only way they can be killed is by a blade they forge." I take the book from him and close it. "Go to my room, its down that hall and the third door on the left. There will be better books in there for you to choose from. Grab The Lightning Thief and read it."
Jack gets up and does what I say. Once he was gone Cas sighs. "He should be reading up on all the Lore he can."
"He's a child Cas," I say. "Let him enjoy something fun." I turn towards the angel and younger Winchester. "Now, what's up that you guys had to stop talking in hushed tones. It sure has something to do with me. Let's get it all out in the open now."
It's quiet for a while. My heart races because if it was something I did and because I won't remember it, then I don't know what I would do to even forgive myself. Dean must have seen my worry because he is sitting next to me. Cas and Sam look at each other and Sam nods.
Cas takes a deep breath before speaking. "I over heard something on Angel radio," Another deep breath. "That both angels and demons are looking for you. Apparently they have had you on their radar since you came back last year. They want to know how and why. It is not pretty."
I let out a shaky breath. "Well they can get in line until we figure that out." I get up to get my blood moving. Dean attempts to grab my hand but, I push it away. "I need to get out of here and get some air." I start to feel dizzy. What did I do to get on heavens and hells most wanted list? I get to the top of the stairs and realize that Dean has my hands and his turning me towards him.
"I can't let you go out there," he says. "Not with a giant target on your back. You're on a wanted list. If any of them get you, it won't be pretty. They will torture you and I don't know what I would do if I lost you again."
I stare at Dean. I see the worry on his face. He must see the fear on mine. "You're not my parent. Dean," I whisper. "I'm full grown ass woman who can't breath in here," My voice raises through clenched teeth. "So let me go so I can get some air or I will kick your ass."
Dean drops my hands and ushers me out the door. Once outside, I put my hands on my knees and just breath. Dean standing beside me rubbing my back. "I'm sorry," He says kneeling down to look at me. "Where should we go?" He rattles the impala keys in his hands.
Within the hour, we are parked in a alley way about to rip our clothes off when there is tapping on the window. We both sigh in annoyance. I slide off Deans lap and fix up my hair and see not one but, four people standing in the alley. I look at Dean who is getting the same vibe I am. Dean opens the glove compartment and pulls out two angel blades.
"Probably not the best idea," he says as he slides a blade over to me.
"Best idea in the moment," I open the door and step out and smile at the group of demons. "What do we owe for this visit?" I give a taunting smile. The kind of smile I remember using in Hell to get what I wanted when I was a demon. Dean notices and looks me up and down.
"Crowley wants your head." one of the two females say.
"Of course he does," I say keeping the taunting smile. But what for? I wondered. "And why is that, again?" I ask.
The demons laugh. A male demon steps forward. "Don't play stupid."
"Hey!" Dean points his blade and the male stops talking. "If anyone calls YN stupid or any other names, I will be sending you back to Crowley in a tiny USPS box."
The demons look at each other. The female who spoke before, well, she walks up to me. I continue to keep my taunting smile but, from the corner of my eye I see Deans body stiffen up. "All those deals you made as a demon, all those souls that were rightfully Crowley's, have been null and void since you came back. So he's a little pisses and want's your he for it but according to the self righteous dicks they want you for information on a rogue angel you've been in cahoots with."
I loose my smile and look at Dean. I don't care about the deals being voided by whatever, what I do care about is the fact I was working with a rogue angel. Then something clicks in the back of my brain. "Hezekiah," I say under my breath.
"Ahhh yes, that's his name. The same dick that sicked you on that poor hunter chick a while back. Sliced her throat and almost bled her dry. Into a hikers camel back." She smiles wickedly and it sends a shiver down my spine.
"What?" I can barely get my voice out. I can hear Cas's words echo in my head from the day before. Maggie had been found with a throat slashed. In the woods. I look at Dean who is looking at me, there's a realization on his face when he connects the dots too. Sam mustn't know. I look back at the demon licking my lips.
"Prove it," Dean says to the demons. "Prove that it was her if you're so sure that it was her."
The demon laughs and stalks towards Dean. Making your already on edge body and mind even more on edge. I turn a bit so that I don't loose sight of the other three demons standing with weapons in their hands. "We don't have to prove anything to you," She get's too close for my liking but I don't move. I watch as the demon pulls an angel blade out and draws the tip of it up his arm to his cheek. "Farid," she calls to the male demon who basically called me stupid. "Grab YN, take her Crowley. I might have a little fun with the Winchester."
Having a flashback of that time in the field before I died going through the gates of Heaven. Everything starts to move in slow motion. I turn to see the demon, Farid, run towards me. From the corner of my eye I see Dean spin the female demon around and stab her with her own blade. She lights up and falls to the ground. I focus on the demon charging me and simply side step away and grab his arm and push him on the wall. I drive my blade into the middle of his back and watch as his body lights up. I watch as his body falls to the ground and the blood spills out of his body.
I turn to see the other two demons smoke out, leaving their vessels behind. Dean and I go and check to see if they are alive but, sadly they are not. I sit back and start to breath deeply. I feel that my body is starting to relax and my heart pace quickens. I close my eyes and try to forget what the demon told us. I did not kill Maggie. I wouldn't kill my best friend. I hope to God that I didn't. Sam will never forgive me I did.
I feel Deans hand on mine and I open my eyes. "Hey, you wouldn't kill Maggie. You want to know why I know that? You and her were always joined at the hip, the best of friends." I know Dean is trying to help but it doesn't make me feel any better.
"And if I did?" I ask letting tears fall. I can't stop thinking about it. Something deep inside me was telling me that its true. And if I did, Sam will most likely kill me.
"We will cross that bridge when we come to it," Dean brushes the tears away. Dean helps me up and leads me back to the Impala. "We will have Cas try and search hard for that forgotten memory." I nod and hug my arms around myself and close my eyes.
"We don't tell Sam about this at all," I say and see Dean nod in agreement.
Once we are back at the bunker and are inside, Cas tells us that Sam went out with Jack on a supply run. Which makes everything better. Dean catches Cas up to speed and I head to the room 7B. I stood in the door way as I remember Michael, in Deans body, sitting at the table strapped to wires. I remember that some hours before that he had stabbed me after kidnapping me.
Take a deep breath and walk into the room and grab rope and a chair. I turn to see both Dean and Cas standing in the door way. I hold the rope out and Dean approaches me and takes the rope. I sit in the chair and let him tie me up. One the way back I told Dean he would need to tie me down because for some reason if something were to snap in my head and I went into some robot killer mode, the both of us were protected.
"Okay," Dean steps aside. Cas walks up behind me and places two hands on both sides of head.
"Here goes nothing," Cas says. I feel a wave of energy run through my brain. It hurts like hell but I can't find the will to scream out in pain but, I can't possibly tell him to stop. "There is a wall up but, theres a crack. I might be able to get into it."
"Whatever you have to do," I say through the pain in my brain.
Then, my vision is clouded by a bright light.
#Centuries Story#SPN#spn fanfiction#spnfandom#spn final season#spnimagine#supernatural#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural imagine#supernatural fic#supernatural family#dean winchester#dean winchester smut#dean winchester fluff#dean winchester angst#dean smut#dean angst#dean fluff#Jensen Ackles#dean x reader#dean winchester x reader#sam and dean#Sam Winchester#castiel#Jack Kline#Crowely#Jared Padalecki#Misha Collins#alex calvert#mark sheppard
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If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)
HoooH boY hEre we gO-
Alisons: Sexuality?
I sexually identify as a can of beans
Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?
Cis female she/her
Amaryllis: Birthday?
27 September
Anemone: Favorite flower?
All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms
Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?
I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko
Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?
Idk depends on scenario??
Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?
"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."
Aubrieta: Favorite drink?
Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)
Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
I've never had kith
Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?
Well you see yes but actually no
Baneberries: Favorite song?
I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)
Basket of Gold: Describe your family.
We p chill fam
Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?
Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol
Begonia: Favorite color?
PinKKK
But i like most colours
Bellflower: Favorite animal?
Cats,,,,
FoxES,
ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE
Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?
Night
Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?
I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-
Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet
Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?
They're either really kind and sweet
Or literal demons from hell
Legit no inbetween
Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?
I'm afraid of lot of things-
Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.
I was one dumbass bitcg-
Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?
Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw
Buttercup: Relationship Status?
Single
Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?
NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK
Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?
When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me
Canna: Do you have any tattoos?
Nop
Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?
I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-
California Poppy: Height?
4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles
Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?
Nop
Carnation: What are you currently wearing?
Pant, pink top and black hoodie
Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?
I think i have??
Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?
My mom and my dad
Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?
I never kith
Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?
I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-
Columbine: Are you tired?
No
I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead
Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?
Nothing in particular ig
Coneflower: Dream job?
Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,
Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?
Introvert but i also get lonley easily
Crocus: Have you ever been in love?
Nop,,,,
Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?
I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already
Ok basically i care a lot
Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?
I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,
Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?
Libra
Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?
My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH
Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?
Mayb art??
Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?
Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret
Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?
My parents
False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?
Ehhh arT
Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?
EhhHh everything that isn't art-
Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?
Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-
Hmmm
Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit
Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?
Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?
Ehhh oK??
Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?
Mayhapsn't
Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?
I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb
Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?
1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS
2. Fammm
3. eHhh yummy food,,
4. Drawing and uhhh art
5. EPIC MUTUALS
6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-
Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?
Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent
Hellebore: How do you show affection?
Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*
Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?
MmmmmMy aRRt?
Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.
Wake up
Don't go to school
Vibe with friends
Sleeb
Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?
MmMmMM aRT-
Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?
Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school
Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?
Friendos
Mom
Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?
6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,
Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,
Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?
Ew yucky gröss
Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
m y a r t
Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,
Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?
Everything else-
Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?
Climb trees and do dumb shit
Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?
Same irl bestie i mentioned before
Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?
MmmmmmMMM,,,
Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?
MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,
Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?
Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty
Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.
Idk what to rlly say lmao
Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?
Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-
Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-
Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?
EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????
Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.
Hi mom ily ur epic
Onions: Tell about your dad.
Hi dad ily ur epic
Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.
Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic
Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?
Haha shit memory gor brrRR-
I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas
I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs
Peony: What was your first job?
I haven't had a job yet
Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?
Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,
Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?
I cri
Pink: Where is home?
Home is home home
Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?
Now where do i start...
Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.
I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?
Primrose: Describe your ideal life.
Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao
Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?
I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one
Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?
Hermmmst
Rose: What’s your favorite sound?
Peoples laughsss also music
Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?
Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-
Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?
A
Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?
I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss
St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?
Kinda difficult but im opening up more
Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?
fRIENDS,,,,,wAh
Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?
8 hrs
Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?
Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff
Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?
Non existant
Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?
My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess
Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.
I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-
Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc
Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?
OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-
IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,
Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?
🤏
Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?
I haven't been reading anythinggg
But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-
Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?
Everywhere
Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?
Mmm yummy 👅
Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.
I am currently living and breathing yes
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Show Me - A deliciously Smutty Pissed-off Ed Sheeran oneshot.
So, as is want to happen in our chats, I came across this pic on IG last night and had to share:


And then...

@daisies--daisies felt the need to encourage my dirty train of thought, and this whole thing just... Took shape. And so I splurged it into chat. And really very much hurt myself. Oops. 😘
So without further Ado....
SHOW ME....🔥
A mature, Smutty, Ed Sheeran oneshot.
---------
You've been out all night, a few too many drinks and you've been a little too friendly with the cute waiter or bartender. You're kinda naturally flirty when you're tipsy, a little handsier than you'd normally be, and his eyes have been following you. Your only interest is the free shots the cute blonde bartender keeps slinging your way, but in his inebriated state, that's not what's going through HIS mind. He's a rather affectionate drunk himself, but... after watching you brush your fingertips along that barkeeps bloody muscled forearm? That giggle and bite to your lower lip that he loves so much - he's about DONE. You don't happen to notice the way his eyes narrow or the way his lips have thinned. You happen to be wearing his favourite dress, the one cut low in the back that shows off your ass (Which he's never been known to get enough of) and he's been dying to peel it off you all night...
Only.... Now? He's irritated. Fuck this. Maybe it's not his cock you want at the end of the night. His thoughts might be clouded by a tad too much gin, but he doesn't give two shits. He'd been wanting to get you out of that goddamn dress since the first moment he'd seen you in, but now... Well, he just might be ready to take another tact when he drags you out of that bar.
So now... You're in the back of your Uber, and in your rosy, tipsy state, you just want to throw him against the backseat and have your way with him. He's in your favourite skinnies and a button down that shows off just a peek of lion, and his leather jacket, though it's off him now, crumpled and abandoned in the seat next to him. You just want to stroke him through his jeans while you slide your tongue down his throat, he always tastes so delicious when he's been drinking and you want that sexy cinnamon scruff leaving its mark on you. But. nope. He's not into it. His eyes, blue and clouded, are straight forward, not even acknowledging your usually convincing pout. He's biting his lip, all the more to torture you, but in spite of your all efforts, he is NOT responding.
You make it home in silence. He unbuckles his seatbelt, still not a single word spoken, and gestures for you to follow him inside. Once you've stumbled safely in, ever the gentleman, he still helps you out of your coat. It's tossed over the banister with no forethought and then slowly, carefully he leans himself against the deep wood door frame leading into your living room. His
"... Wanna tell me what in the fuck that was?" His voice is low, even, and not remotely messing about. He doesn't blink.
You're at a bit of a loss, this is not like him, and you're not sure where he's going with this. It was only a bit of drunken fun....
"Teddy..." You bite your lip and look up at him through your heavily smudged lashes. "I'm here with you. I came home, with you. I am yours. Nobody else gets to fuck me tonight. Only you...." You reach to touch his face, intending to show him exactly how much meaning your words hold, but he's not having it. Not the littlest bit.
"Dunno." He says, very little inflection to his voice, the bright colours of his arms folded tightly across his chest. "Tim the Barkeep seemed to have your attention tonight. Maybe it's his cock you want?"
Your brow furrows and heat flushes through your face and body. "... Fuck are you talking about? The only cock I'm interested in is yours, you-"
He cuts you off. "That so?" He's straightened up, unfolded his arms and now his fingers are slowly slipping each button loose on his plaid button down. The sexy thatch of cinnamon chest hair that adorns his lion, the soft curls that always turn you on, are slowly becoming visible and you can feel that flush of heat throb between your thighs.
There's a glint in his eye as he undoes the last button, and very methodically, he slides his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he leans back against the wooden door frame.
"Maybe you should get on your knees and show me..."
He's a man who rarely shows his displeasure... And this sudden attitude, as much as you might loathe to admit it, is having a massive effect on you. You can already feel the heat, the ache, between your legs at the sight of him staring you down, his lean, inked up torso and chest on full display.
You don't say a word, perhaps just a raised eyebrow and a bitten lip, as you slowly advance on him. The silver of his belt is still pressed snugly against his tattooed flowers, and his jeans, your favourite tight black ones, are still buttoned over his narrow hips and strong thighs. You maintain eye contact as you drop to your parted knees, reaching for his belt. Your fingers nimbly, slowly, unbuckle his belt and work the button loose at the waistband of his jeans. You find yourself licking your lips, your breath catching at the pretty ginger hairs that trail down into his tight grey Calvin's, and at the prominent tenting already beginning to strain at the confines of his tight jeans.
"Your cock..." You breathe, as you press a kiss into the soft, inked skin above the waistband of his boxer briefs. "Is the only one I want to taste...."
"...Fuckin' right, Love... "
You hear the growl in his words as you tug his boxers down, over his hips, allowing the pretty pink of him to spring up against the colours of his belly, and the fiery orange strands that surrounds it. Your mouth all but waters as you press a messy kiss to the tip of him, and you look up just to see his clouded blue eyes lock with yours.
"Show me."
You flatten your tongue, allowing it to glide up the entire length of his cock, once, twice, while your hand curls around the base him, drawing his cock away from his body so that you have the access all you need. Your other hand has found the outside of his thick thigh, warm and taut and fuzzy, a tight grip that's got his body right pressed as closely to you as possible. Your warm, wet mouth slides around his plump head, and you purposely let out a hum of contentment as your tongue swirls around him. He's tastes so fucking good, and you want to SHOW him how wrong he is. This is ALL you want. You moan around him again, and revel in how his whole body tenses and shudders at your touch.
You go slowly at first, his size means you must allow for a bit of adjustment as you take him in as far into your throat as you can... but God, you might as well be starving, you just can't get enough. You move your mouth up and down over his shaft, all the while continuing to glide your tongue over the smooth, silky skin and plump head in your mouth, the same head that's all but fucking into the back of your mouth.
"S'Fuckin good.... Jesus... You take me so good, love...."
You pick up the pace, just a tick, while your hand, your fist, is following your mouth, warm and moist and sticky from your ministrations. Circling, tugging as as you suck at his head, letting your tongue dance over the super sensitive V underneath.
One of his warm hands is tangled in your hair, not yanking, not rough, but just holding onto you, while his other hand is flat against the wall beside you. His hips, they're moving in messy thrusts to meet your mouth, out of his control judging by the gasped breaths of air and "Oh fuck... Baby... Oh... Fuck's" that are tumbling from his pretty pink lips. He's fucking into the back of your throat, practically with abandon as you've pushed past all your gag reflexes, your only goal to make him come so hard he loses his mind and remembers that you are HIS and no one else's.
Your hand is wrapped around his hip, tightly gripping his asscheek, you don't want even a sliver of space between your mouth and his pelvis while he fucks your mouth to orgasm. He's rocking his cock into your mouth, over, and over, and over, and your tongue never lets up, lapping at him from the inside while you keep your mouth sealed around his rock hard flesh as tight as you can. Both of his warm hands fist your hair as it all begins to overtake him, and you moan as he frantically chases his orgasm, the sounds and vibration the icing on the cake.
"OH FUCK...." His voice echoes through the room and you can hear, feel, his long, LOW growl. His hips stutter as you feel bursts of his salty, sticky warm fluid fill your mouth, landing on your tongue. His hands are still holding your head as his hips rock one last time, another small spurt landing on your tongue, and then he slows. You gaze up at him, your hand gently palming his slowly softening cock, and swallow, softly suckling at the head. His beautiful eyes are still dark, glazed, watching you, until his head falls back and his body sags. His breathing is still coming unever and ragged as he suddenly realizes how tightly he's holding your hair. He gently untangles his fingers, smoothing your hair back and pushing the errant locks gently behind your ear, and with a slight grin, pulls you to your feet.
His lips are on yours, deep and messy and with intent (He's never minded his taste after coming in your mouth, and he's ALWAYS shows his gratitude. One of the many things that makes you feel so loved and appreciated.)
"Teddy..." You whisper once he's pulled back. "Never doubt me again. Yours? Is the ONLY one I will ever want."
"Mmm." He murmurs. "Guess I needed to be sure. I'm a lucky lad. And I know it. I think, now, though..." His lips find yours in a deep, lingering, heated kiss, his hands travelling over the rise of your asscheeks, pressing you up against the length of him. "I'd like to get that dress off and taste how lucky I am for m'self..... If you'll have me?"
Your lips curve into a smile, the knot in your belly aching deep and hot at the thought of what was to come.
"Show me, Teddy... "
(A/N - Hope y'all this Sunday afternoon distraction, please do let me know whatcha think or if you enjoyed it. I LOVE hearing from you guys, no matter whether it's a Reblog, Anon Ask or PM. ❤️🔥❤️)
#ed sheeran#teddy sheeran#Ed sheeran mature fanfic#Ed sheeran fanfic#Ed sheeran Smut#Celebrity fanfic#Celebrity mature fanfic#Celebrity Smut#Fanfiction#Mature fanfiction#SOC fic#Stream of Conciousness blurb#Written on the fly#Original writing#Ed sheeran oneshot#Lord save me#To hell I go#But shit#I'd show him
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Fun fact actually really really sad fact that I need to get out of my head to be able to fall asleep.
My ex best friend (which seems like a really juvenile phrase to use for the situation tbh. The correct word is bully ig. Possibly abuser. Which feels harsh? Bc we were both so young. But she did, and so did her mother. It's a lot to come to terms with tho. Anyway. Not the point.) She would always use her "mental illnesses" (I add quotes bc she was one of those people to be like Im So OcD abOuT tHaT rN. Idk what diagnoses she genuinely had) as a weapon. Or as an excuse. She'd be like AAGAHAHAH YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT I SAY BC OF MY OCD UWU. And one that she loved using was adhd. I laughed at you bc I have adhd. I insulted you bc I have adhd. I dumped water on you bc I have adhd. I lied about you bc I have adhd. I destroyed your self esteem bc I have adhd. Feel bad for me now :). It's all ok bc I have adhd WHY DONT YOU FEEL BAD FOR ME.
Then. Around the same time as this ig? Idk I don't remember most of my childhood especially in order. But. I started realizing things about myself that could be adhd symptoms. And logically. I knew that it wasn't adhd that made her do those things. And that not everyone who has adhd is a bad person. And that symptoms of adhd don't include vapid bullying. But something in me didn't want to be associated with it. I can't even explain it. I was also still a child. But I pushed it away bc of her.
Now fast forward. I've been diagnosed with adhd at 19. After high school. After a lot, possibly all, of college. After I convinced myself I was just dumb and stupid and incompetent for having the struggles I've had for a long time. And its just another reminder of the power she had and still has over me. This is a personal thing and a personal struggle I shouldn't even connect it to her. But I heard it so much all the time.
And I joke about it. I'm like hahaha I got the official diagnosis now time to start bullying people!!!! I have adhd wheres someone i can TORTURE lol. I joke about it with my mom and my best friend who went through all of this with the same person too. But its not really funny is it. Look what she did to me. What happened. Why is this my life.
#should i put tws on this??? i dont usually talk about anything like this#tw bullying#?#tw emotional abuse#???#i mean. yeah#anyway goodnight ahahahahaha
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