#but its fun torturing myself ig

[sapphoherselz]

I don't have a gif that even comes close to the physical reactions I'm having to my own fic it's like a body curling ugly face making gagging sounds like

saw an aftg tiktok recommending my fic

[hwanchaesong]

┗🖋️ Fun, was it, when the poor smile / A wooden home has gone senile / Its soil is nothing but fertile / Yet the fruits are declared as an exile 📖

🎧: Taylor Swift - The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

wc: 1.7k

genre & warnings: angst, forbidden love au, historical/royalty au, mentions of death, revenge, violence, like.. just pure angst for this one, fluff if u squint ig, etc etc

a/n: this is a part of The Tortured Poets Department series. if y'all want, you can read the other album inspired fics of other groups here.

"Lower your head, peasant." a guard kicked Jungwon's back, making him stumble on the carpeted floor of the throne room.

His whole body shakes in pain, bruises and dirt covered most of his skin, and there may be some broken bones due to his previous struggles against the royal knights last night.

He deserves the agony, but being presented to you like this is plain torture.

Jungwon knew that the weight of his treason was equals to death. The minute he accepted the mission of espionage to the royal family of his own country, the grim reaper himself had been following him since.

The clacking heeled-steps of a person echoes throughout the room, getting nearer his filthy, disheveled form.

His eyes remain downcast, still, he is able to make-out the golden fabric of your gown as you cease movements a mere inches away from him.

"Everyone, out." you ordered, the guards hesitated at first and were about to protest but your sharp glare made them shut their mouths, opting to follow your directive.

The head knight, Jay, went on one knee before withdrawing, "Please be careful, Your Majesty."

You smile at him, waving him off, "I will. Thank you, Jay."

The male got up but not without giving Jungwon a nasty stare down, one that sent shivers down his spine due to the incredible loathe that it holds.

Several rushing footsteps faded away, then the door was shut, leaving you alone with the man that you, unfortunately, still love despite his treachery.

"Jungwon, you may raise your head." you say in a gentle manner, allowing him some freedom.

"I believe I cannot do that, Your M-"

"Do not make me repeat myself, Viscount Yang Jungwon."

He gulps, finally tilting his head and meeting your eyes. A facade of indifference covers your entirety, but he is not foolish enough to discern that you are breaking from inside and out.

"Your fate rests on my hands." you mumble and he can only nod in response, waiting for further instructions, "I have some inquiries for you, and you have no choice but to answer honestly."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

You take a deep breath, crouching down and matching his height. That made his eyes widen, coming face to face with you is something that he did not expect.

He stares at your gorgeous face but he prefers your natural one, no make-up, just you. The one that he gazes at during the nights where you sleep in his arms, huddling you closer to his body for more warmth.

You finally asked your first question, "Why did you approach me that night?"

It was a beautiful soirée, the night is young and you enjoy watching your citizens dance and eat as you sit in peace.

Suddenly, a young man appeared in front of you. He elegantly bowed, introducing himself as the son of the great Yang family.

You observed him for a minute. He is dressed in the finest fabric of a suit, hair styled to perfection, and he seems like a clean-cut type of boy.

"Good evening Your Majesty, I have come to ask for your hand for a dance. If I may?" he politely asks and you were shocked at his boldness.

Most people wouldn't dare to do what he just did, too scared to disrespect the unmarried queen of their country. You must applaud him for his bravery.

"All right then, Viscount Yang, I shall accept your invitation." you got off your seat, motioning for the servants to calm down and that you can handle the situation.

The man held your hand delicately, guiding you to the dance floor. The others gasped at the interaction, an uncommon sight of their queen dancing with a man.

As his hand went to your waist, yours on his shoulder and the remaining free hands remained intertwined, you two began swaying to the classical music performed by an ensemble.

You gaze into his cat-like eyes, his sweet smile giving you a sense of comfort.

At that moment, you can't help but think; is this your destined man sent by the heavens?

"It is my mission to get close to you. Such an order was given to me by my employer." he responds, avoiding your eyes as he does so.

"Who is your employer?"

"My apologies, Your Majesty. As part of my integrity, I could not tell you my employer's name." Jungwon closes his eyes, fists clenched so hard that his nails are digging through his palms.

Your hands went up to cradle his face, forcing him to look at you once more.

"Just Y/N. You, calling me 'Your Majesty' is not.. it does not bode well with me." you chuckle a bit, peering into the chocolate orbs that you have grown fond of.

It is astounding how he manages to be this stunning regardless of his unfastidious appearance.

Jungwon is silent for a while, opening his mouth to speak, "I do not h-"

"I am your queen, I command it." you said with finality, using your power to submit to you.

Jungwon inhaled, his sweaty palms shaking as he refrains from covering yours that are still warmly placed on his skin, "I understand, Y/N."

Your eyes soften, feeling joy at hearing your name roll off his tongue, "Now then, tell me why you decided to betray our kingdom. Why would you go through this trouble even when you were born from a noble family?"

He flinched at the straightforward question, but ultimately decided to tell you the truth. Voicing out his hostilities and childhood.

"I am a mere bastard from a maid." he starts and there is no stopping now, "My father needed to save his image. Since he was an acquaintance of the former king-"

"My late father?" you interject and he nods, continuing his story afterwards.

"They conspired together. Killed my mother, adopted me just to belittle me. I was only truly respected by those vermin when I became successful in life. Thus, everything that I did was for revenge. I wanted the royal family to suffer like I did."

A few seconds of pause ensued, letting his narrative sink in. And you sympathize with him, thankful that he opened this to you, trusting you with this valuable information.

"Very well." you then wiped a smudge of dried blood on his cheek, staining your porcelain and clean thumb, "Lastly, did you sincerely love me?"

Jungwon's eyes widened, completely forgetting about the invisible barrier and grasping your hands in his.

He is a raging liar, a traitor, the lowest of the low but when he told you— when he promised you under the stars that he loves you with all his heart, that was the truest sentiment that he could ever muster.

You can doubt his whole being, his existence, even his background but god forbid your dubiety for his love.

It was not in his agenda to fall in love, but with you, harboring such burning feelings was so easy as breathing itself.

Jungwon would rather die than to see or feel your lack of confidence in his affections.

"I did, god I-I do. I still do," he clutched you harder, wanting to get his emotions across you, "I love you so much. Y/N, my eternity, I may be a snake in the grass but my devotion for you is out there in the open, under the sun with the blooming flowers."

It's his love for you that caused this mess in the first place. He was so distracted by the rainbows that a simple slip-up turned his blue skies into rain.

The corner of your lips quivered, his outburst was enough confession, leaning closer to him to press a sweet, lasting kiss on his forehead, mumbling against his skin, "That is all I need to know, my Won."

You abruptly stand up, detaching yourself from Jungwon and tilting your head towards the giant door, speaking in a louder voice while you steeled your expression into one befitting of a queen.

"You may now all come in."

The servants rushed inside the room, positioning themselves in their respective former spots.

You cleared your throat, facing the majority of the people.

"By the power bestowed upon me. I, L/N Y/N, hereby proclaim the accused, Yang Jungwon, to be banished from this sacred land."

You focused on his surprised expression, your teary eyes speaking more than a thousand words to him, "You may never step foot in this country ever again. Once you do, I will have your head presented to me."

You turn to your most trusted knight, ordering him to escort the defector.

Jungwon stands on his feet as well, giving you a tender, longing smile. You see it, the way he mouthed 'I love you', and you have to fight back the tears. You have to be strong as you watch him exit the throne room.

Your eyes landed on your fingers, the gleaming coronation ring next to the jewelry that Jungwon gifted you seems to be mocking you. No matter how sky high your desire is to spend the rest of your life with Jungwon, the fact that you are the grand sovereign of your kingdom will forever tie you to your duties and priorities. 

First and foremost, you are married to the nation. Therefore, your wilting heart is nothing more than a nightmare that you shall forget.

---------------------------------------------------

Jungwon continues walking through the dim, torch-illuminated tunnel, when suddenly a cocking sound is heard.

It doesn't take a genius to know what it is, and it made him chuckle in disbelief.

"Yang Jungwon, Her Majesty might have wanted you to be banished. But I wanted you dead."

Jungwon seethes, not having the mood to do child's play, venturing to face the perpetrator who is currently threatening him.

"Are you still vexed that Her Majesty chose me and not you? It's amazing to witness how bitter you are, Jay." he raised an eyebrow, further aggravating the knight.

"Oh?" the older smirks, "I can dispose of you right here without anyone knowing, and you dare speak to me like that?"

"I am not scared of you." Jungwon declares with hardened eyes, flashing orange due to the fire from the torches, staring through Jay's soul, "I am not scared of anything anymore."

Not when he had already lost the person that he treasures the most.

Jay gnashed his teeth, "Then, I'll gladly send you to hell."

"Go ahead," Jungwon shrugs, fully challenging an equipped man, "kill me and go against your queen's orders."

taglist

@ramenoil @shakalakaboomboo @slutforjeno

[silentstyx]

"But Daddy I Love Him!" ~ (lip gallagher x fem!reader's version)

sum! "But Daddy I Love Him!" Taylor swift - The Tortured Poets department.

tw! FACEBOOK... toxic family, mention of having a baby, swearing ig (again its shameless)

uhm this is gonna suck! I have no clue what I'm doing! ok days later n the middle/ending is very sloppy i feel like. idk i kinda dont like it.

"I forget how the west was won, I forget if this was ever fun, I just learned these people only raise you to cage you"

You and Lip were fighting again. You hadn't been getting along as much anymore, you were getting closer to your two year mark too.

No one in your family liked the Gallaghers to begin with, so you couldn't complain to your family (siblings, cousins, whoever). The one who disapproved of your relationship the most though? Your father. Your father hated the relationship you had with Lip. He thought he was going to use you for money, your body, etc. He just knew Gallaghers were usually up to something, so he didn't approve of this relationship as soon as you told him.

Except with how much you and Lip were arguing now, it's hard to remember all the fun you would have. It's like a distant memory that you forget was a dream or not.

"Sarah's and Hannah's in their sunday best, Clutching their pearls, Sighing 'What a mess', I just learned these people try and save you ... cause they hate you"

Your family wasn't just rude to him, you as well. It was a bunch of rich snobs, and if something hadn't gone their way then get rid of it.

They hated you for even being in the vicinity of someone 'lesser' than them. Because god forbid you bring normal people into the wretched family of yours. Your cousins and extended family were known to gossip about others in the family, and right now you were the hot topic.

"too high a horse, for a simple girl to rise above it, they slammed the door on my whole world, the one thing I wanted"

It was an accident. Sort of. With how complicated you and Lip were right now you had changed your relationship status to "it's complicated". Not thinking about how public your page is to your very judgemental family. Lip did the same so he wasn't necessarily mad. All of your cousins, aunts, etc. were messaging you asking what happened, trying to get as much information as they could. It was all fine until your dad texted you.

"Come home."

Oh god. You could feel your stomach doing flips inside of you. You knew what he was going to say. 'You need to break up with this boy if it's to the point you're both telling the entire world how complicated your relationship is right now'. You went over there with the full intent to defend yourself and your boyfriend.

"Now I'm running with my dress unbuttoned, Screaming 'But Daddy I Love Him!' I'm having his baby. No, I'm Not, but you should see your faces"

You got to your parents house and your dad started saying the exact things you thought he would.

"If you're sharing your relationship vis-à-vis the internet than I do not think this relationship should go on." Your dad kept repeating this in different wordings time and time again.

"Dad, me and Lip are just arguing like normal couples do. All you do is talk about how I should break up with him and that he is horrible for me." You snap at him, finally.

You continue your rant, "It isn't up to you to decide for me whether my boyfriend is good for me or not. I'm an adult and I can figure my love life out for myself. He has done nothing but be kind to all of you and get on your good side, but all of you are too snobby to understand that!"

You have to take a break to breath.

"I'm having his child. Not now... but eventually." As you said this they're faces were all filled with shock. Some of them had concern written all over there face.

"I'm telling him to floor it through the fences. No, I'm not coming to my senses, I know he's crazy but he's the one I want"

"I know none of you like him, but I see a future with him. But if you never learn to accept none of you will be apart of this future." God, it felt good finally standing up for yourself in front of your family.

Instead of waiting for them you got up and left. Not wanting to here what kind of excuse he's going to make for himself.

"Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid, tendrils tucked into a woven braid, growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all."

Your way back home had you thinking about your childhood and how you grew up. If there so against difference, and all of your other family is, why were you taught different?

It can't be because of school because you went to school with some family that acts the same as them.

Maybe because you had friends that were in south side? They were friends with the private school's principal and they were able to get in free of cost. You would go over to their house sometimes and it wasn't a huge clean house in a nice pretty neighborhood. Maybe that's why you weren't born to be a horrible person and you actually got to learn about people who weren't as lucky as you.

Which also means from a young age you were already more mature than your entire family.

"He was chaos, he was revelry, Bedroom eyes like a remedy."

You got back to the house and saw Lip on the couch. You went inside and sat next to him. At first he didn't say anything to you. Until he couldn't just not speak.

"Where'd you go?" He mutters, not looking at you still.

"Parents." You answer him almost instantly, looking at him.

He nods, knowing what this is about.

"So, they knock some sense in ya? You dumping me?" He rubs his face and the looks at you.

You snicker, "You must know absolutely nothing about me if you think I'm listening to my parents?"

He smiles and chuckled (i'm thinking of the lil breath through the nose laugh that no one knows what to call...) he knew how stubborn you were when it came to your parents.

"Soon enough the elders had convened, down at the city hall, 'stay away from her', the saboteurs protested too much"

Your family had been trying to text you. Some to apologize, some to try to talk out out of being mad, some to get gossip, the others still trying to get you to break up with him.

Your father had compared you to a '"rebelling teenager" because of how you're acting? You and Lip had stopped arguing for now.

Every time they reached out to him to talk to you through him, he would tell them to stop, "leave her alone", or block them. He was sick of how they treated you and him too.

Almost all of your family was blocked now, because they all decided to text you. The only people you couldn't bring yourself to block were your parents. Even though they were the ones laying it on the strongest. Your mom kept apologising but your dad was saying the same things as before.

"Lord knows the words we never heard, Just screeching tires and true love"

God this whole situation felt like a movie or a taylor swift song. It was ridiculous. Everyone's actions were childish and obnoxious.

You and Lip haven't been arguing in a while, because your attention was on other things at the moment. You two had actually been more romantic. You both have put your status back to normal. Yet, nothing in your life was back to normal.

"I'll tell you something right now, I'd rather burn my whole life down, Than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning"

This had been going on for over a month now. It was just annoying and obnoxious now. Lip knew you defended him and this is why this is still going on. No doubt about this. Except now he was having to deal with you being: bitchy, exhausted, or just annoyed.

It was affecting him now, and he was starting to get pissed.

"I'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace, I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empaths clothing"

"Your parents have been talking to Frank about us. Frank was asking me about you." Lip said through gritted teeth and a scowl, he had been walking inside while I said that.

You roll your eyes and respond in an almost whiny voice, "Please tell me your joking. They have gone way too far with this. First they tell my entire family and now they start on yours?"

"God save the judgemental creeps, Who say they want what's best for me, Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see"

The texts were all the same from your mom and dad.

"We just want what's best for you, and he isn't it!" They would say. Over. And over.

It was so repetitive, you had to block them. Not everywhere just where they would text you the most.

"Thinking it can change the beat of my heart when he touches me, And counteract chemistry, And undo the destiny"

I swear if you never had met him, which your not upset about meeting him, your parents wouldn't complain to you all the time. But oh well. There's a very real possibility they would have done this with anyone who you ended up with, seeing as how everyone they would try and set you up with was not your type.

Since this has been happening, your family would always have witty remarks like: "I'll keep you in my prayers" or "I'm thinking of you"

"You ain't gotta pray for me, Me and my wild boy, and all this wild joy."

When were they going to realize that he made you happy. You liked loved being with him. He was your wild boy. Yours. For no one to take.

"If all you want is gray for me, Then it's just white noise, And it's my choice"

Being with him wasn't there choice to make, it was yours. You just had to blur out all the background noise that meant nothing to you.

"There's a lot of people in town that I, Bestow upon my fakest smiles, Scandal does funny things to pride, But brings lovers closer"

Instead of biting back, you played nice. They would would say something rude and you would respond with a smile. All of the fighting only made you and Lip begin to grow closer to each other.

Their bickering with you about him, was backfiring. Big time.

Your parents saw this. They then saw how you looked at eachother. Realised you went to war for each other. Defending each other to your parents. It made them think a little longer.

"We came back when the heat died down, Went to my parents and they came around, All the wine moms are still holding out, But Fuck 'em, it's over"

Your parents had asked you over again. There wasn't anymore fighting online for a couple of weeks now, but you still went over there with the full intent of defending yourselves.

When they started apologising though you were skeptical at first until you saw the genuine look. They meant the apology. They didn't just apologise for what they said, but the actions they had on social media, how they brought the family into it.

"I was being a hypocrite," Your father had explained, "You were talking about your issues on the internet and then I went and did the same things to the both of you, as well as involving other people when it was unnecessary. I sincerely apologise."

Lip had a subtle smirk on his face, only you and his family could recognise.

You both had thanked him for apologizing, none of your other family had apologized though.

"Now I'm dancing in my dress in the sun and, Even my daddy just loves him, I'm his lady, and oh my God, You should see your faces"

Your parents were now very fond of Lip, praising him consistently. Your mother called him handsome. Your father realised how bright he was. Most of all they realised how good the two of you were for each other and how much he loves you.

"No you can't come to the wedding, I know he's crazy but he's the one I want"

You were at your family's annual gathering when one of your cousins came over to the two of you, "So when's your wedding?"

You laughed, "If and when it happens it will solely be immediate family and some friends that will be invited. The ones who actually care about us, ya know?"

[moongoopy]

The Fingernail Issue

c: gojo wasn't told of toji having a sibling leading him to wonder what kind of brother toji fushiguro was

c/w: Reader is adopted here, modern au, fluff, Toji's family are not a bunch of assholes, Reader is Toji's adoptive sibling, platonic and crack and humour ig

a/n: thought about this while making potato chips

"You have a sibling!? Why haven't you told us?"

"There was no need."

Toji slurped his noodles, ignoring the groan that he got from Gojo Satoru. Being in the same club with Gojo Satoru and a few other extras proved to be quite fun. He thought joining the basketball club with egocentric people would be infuriating but in this little group he managed to make friends suprisingly. He let Sukuna take his shrimp while he shrugs, right now; Gojo was quite adamant on getting to know his kid sibling that was in the same school as him, just two grades lower than him.

Geto slips in a joke if he wanted to court them or something since the white haired male next to him who was currently miming a camera with his two hands. Just the thought of another Fushiguro gave him the heebie jeebies, he was already offputting with how crass his personality was, his sibling would probably be the same. He gagged to Geto's comment, his hand on his chin when he thought about it.

"Unless, your sibling isn't a carbon copy of you and is way more better than you.."

Sukuna waved his hand to deny that sentence with a smirk and it received a nudge from Toji, they had this whispering thing they had going on to keep secrets away from Gojo and they giggle like two middle schoolers finding out about a dirty secret.

"Oh so you've met them, Ryoumen?" Nanami sipped his coffee, he had his notebook infront of him, consistently taking notes since he'd miss a day of school and its already biting him in the ass. The pink haired male shrugged, copying the same move as his friend that made Gojo click his tongue to.

"If you don't like them, why are you even curious?"

Gojo defended himself, "Its not that I dont like them, I barely met them. Its just that.."

Without noticing he painted an image of you even before seeing you in the flesh so maybe you weren't that bad. Gojo just cant imagine Toji having a sibling, would he be a doting brother? A strict one? Geto had stated stuff about dating and he barely batted an eye so it looked like to Gojo that Toji didnt really care about you but the next words that Toji said irked him.

"You look like you have a lot on your mind, Gojo. Mind sharing?"

Toji finished his noodles but thought of leaving some of the soup at the bottom, thats where all the seasonings sink to. Knocking his chopsticks into the bowl, he leaned forward to hear what Gojo had say. Gojo was the type to walk past the obvious and it was funny. Seeing THE Gojo Satoru struggle was entertaining.

"Nah, I'm good, I'll just see them myself." He bit on his lollipop, crunching up the last bits down his throat.

"Good luck finding them then," The black haired man got up from his seat with his tray and Gojo gasped. He hasn't even finished asking questions but knowing him, he loved avoiding questions like some personal torture he lets people go through.

"I'm bringing my mom to the clinic so I gotta run," Toji gruffly said, grabbing his jacket and he was so fast to slip away.

"Hey! Are you sure you're not using that as an excuse again? Me and Suguru legit saw Mrs. Fushiguro doing laps the other day!"

"Even did some cardio too.." Geto chuckled, remembering how Toji's mom proudly confessed how she had done a lot of stuff in one day. It made him smile while Gojo was sulking like a poodle beside him. Sukuna cleared his throat from eating and cleaned his plates up. He glanced at Gojo mischeviously.

"Well.. if you want to know one thing.." Sukuna dragged the silence a little longer before chuckling. "They're a bit of the same."

Sukuna too walks away, waving slyly to meet up for practise soon and Gojo scoffed. That sleazy bastard thought that information on you was new.

"That was sooo lame."

-------------

Toji had his hands on the wheel, listening to his mother talk about what should they have for dinner. In between talking about your favourites and if his dad was gonna come home, she recalled the days where you first came home.

Mama Fushiguro liked recalling this a lot and when many people were bored by this tale by now, Toji showed interest. He didn't admit though when he finally had a kid sibling in his house, he was actually pretty elated. The house was quiet on its own with himself but with you, it was like he had a friend.

When you are adopted, his peace wasn't disrupted at all but it was like yours was. You were in a completely new environment but not unfamiliar. You had been fostered before but he didn't pry into your past, there was no need to he thinks. It was normal for you to be distant even if his parents try to pry you out your shell like a cat with its nails stuck on the walls. You claw back to your comfort and wasn't all that talkative.

He didn't force you to talk or advise you on anything because it was clear you could handle yourself, you just like to keep to yourself more than his parents. But knowing this doesn't make the bond between you and him all the more stumped. He did attempted to eventhough his mother would nag about how it was barely anything; calling you down for dinner wasn't talking and hell, task dividing either!

Going to the same college didn't made you two any closer. He thought asking you about school was corny and didn't bother, he didn't really think much of it. By the tired look in your face, it was more than enough to know what you've been through but he was sure you stayed out of trouble because he made sure of that.

He took his usual route back to the car but realise you were a bit late. You weren't usually tardy, he was and even so you would still wait for him out of courtesy. He spun back around and thought of fetching you in an instant. Maybe now was the time he would open his mouth and talk to you.

There was a bit of a ruckus in one of the classrooms. If he didn't had sharp ears then he would've walked right past but that was one of the subject classes you attend and peeped in.

It was horrid.

He saw a bunch of hooligans messing up your notebooks and scraping it against the ground with their shoes. He recognized some of them as they squat at your level and taunt you.

It was some people in his fan club or whatever and he heard bits of how someone this puny couldn't be his sibling. You were clutching onto a bag and it wasn't just your bag that you were concerned of, the laptop that his parents gave were in it and the bag slides clean off and you were only protecting the laptop with your life. You didn't mind your keychains being ripped off and tossed about but amongst the stomping, the laptop was clutched tightly in your arms.

"Hey!"

His shout boomed across the room, shocking even you. You looked up to see your brother and he looked about ready to rip into the bullies with his bare hands. The group turned pale when they saw that their idol had caught them in the act of tormenting his little sibling and bit their tongue as their knees wobble.

The details of the lecture/threat of Toji wasn't heard as your ears buzz with fear. His touch made you snap back to reality, his rough hands helping you up gently and you wobble in your place.

"Holy shit.." You exclaimed in a huff to which he looked at you in an instant.

"You're really fucking loud when you're mad."

Silence settled to which the both of you laughed at in few seconds. This was the first time you didn't feel akward and commented so honestly. He patted your back and pick up your stuff, though soiled; atleast you were only shaken but unharmed.

The walk back to the car came naturally albeit a bit of limping in your step, you had twisted your ankle while running to catch the laptop before the others did and it sparked hellfire in Toji. His main priority now is atleast offering a crumb of comfort and heard out your reasoning for portecting a device rather than your skull.

"We could always buy you a new laptop,"

"I like the one now."

"Its not worth it breaking your skull in to protect it though."

To be honest, it wasn't about liking it. Just the big smiles on your adoptive parents' faces when they urged you to open the gift they bought you, it made your eyes all teary.

You weren't adopted before but you had to go through mean foster parents that had too much on their hands and that led to negliance to your needs. That led to several arguments and got you sent to the adoption center and it broke you, just the thought of connecting with another family made you numb.

But this family was so gentle with you. Even when you showed that there was no need for such kindness yet it wasn't that they coaxed you out of your shell but that they were so tender through their actions.

Toji notices the tears and scratches the back of his neck, he didn't read this in the big brother dummy book to know what to do if his little sibling cries. You had a distant look in your eyes before you realised you had reached the car with him.

Thankfully, both parents didn't notice the missing schoolbag or the agitated state that you're in. They were all smiles and Mamaguro was powdering on her face so it meant a family outing tonight.

You couldn't help but panic when you try to think of an explanation of your missing bag but Toji butted in on his parents conversations.

"Hey, Y/N wanted some ice cream before dinner, is that okay?"

Toji blurted out all of a sudden and you so badly wanted to deny it but he dug a deeper hole for you when the two agreed so quickly. They were excited that you finally requested something in a while and the car swerved to the nearest convenience store. Your brother adjusted himself in his seat, taking out his earphones and leaned a bit closer so the two infront won't hear.

"No worries, there's a store that sells bags beside the convenience store."

You huffed out a breath, your mouth feeling so dry and nodded to his words. He was a life saver.

Toji remembered how jittery you were when he suddenly made up some shit about you wanting ice cream that he couldn't help but chuckle outloud. The light from your eyes almost dimmed when you thought he would snitch on you. He parked close to the clinic, turning his back to grab an umbrella incase it rained. His mom pouted to his sudden chuckle and sighed.

"What are you laughing for? You're not ditching practise, yknow? You're going after you send me off at the clinic."

"Huh?" His mom showed a text conversation between her and Geto and scoffed. The lengths that man bun would go to have him show up at practise. That damn milf hunter-

-----------

"Hands up if your name is Y/N Fushiguro!!!" The class erupted in some noise upon seeing the popular duo stand near the doors of their class. When you heard your name being called, you reluctantly raised your hand; recognising who these two were.

The duo's faces fell for a moment, choking. Oh, you were adopted? Not in an offensive way obviously but Gojo might've heaved a sigh of relief. Atleast you weren't a splitting reflection of your brother, that would give him nightmares! Geto on the other hand realised why Toji would hide such a fact, an element of suprise if you will. He thought the two of them wouldn't find you out in an instant, did Toji thought so low of them? You raised a brow, wondering what they wanted.

They watched you walk out the classroom and Gojo adjusted his glasses. The graphic t-shirt and the style you had was a sublte influence from your brother.

"Well, well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

You had the exact relaxed expression like your brother except you slowly turn weirded out, why were they ogling you like this?

You took time to observe them head to toe subtly while Gojo yapped about the tale of how Toji didn't reveal that he had a younger sibling, they were lean and muscular and they had this obvious good cop bad cop duo energy. The white haired man sounded visibly upset that you were kept as a secret from the rest, was this some kind of facade to get to know you better? You shifted to one foot to another, stopping the music playing in your earpods and cleared your throat.

"Do you want to get with my brother or something orrr...?" Gojo didn't get to the point so you went straight in but due to their reactions, you might've miscalculated. Tilting your head, you pointed at Geto's painted nails and the earrings he had.

"And you.. are you two like gay or something?" You put your hands in defense, talking quickly before they get the wrong idea, "Hey, I don't discriminate. I just barely had any fans of my brother be male sooo..."

For once in their lives, Gojo was speechless and Geto had his eyes wide open like crazy.

One thing was for sure, anyting that was the apart of the Fushiguro family was a complete nightmare.

[chronicallyblyrie]

TMAGP 16 live thoughts!!

This episode started with a hello Jon dedication I'm already feeling like this won't be a fun time

-oh my god poor Alice the trauma is already starting

-celia does believe you alice trust she's seen some shit

-no the Horrors need to pay their dues with you alice

-alice dyer everybody, working right after watching a woman die

-yeah Sam stop talking

-CHESTERRRRR

-social media??

-#GOTHGIRL MY GOD

-WOAH INKSOUL BACK??

-okay inksoul is important

-oh my god it's a live stream archive

-oh my fucking god they're using internet slang

-WHO TOLD THEM THEY HAD ACCESS TO USE NO CAP IN A SCRIPT?

-holy shit this is awful

-PLEASE INKSOUL KILL THIS WOMAN SO I DONT HAVE TO HEAR HER SAY ANOTHER WORD

-please fucking KILL me

-OH MY GOD THE SOUND EFFECTS ARE KILLING ME

-woah world's quickest tattoo

-what in the fuck tattoo did they give you??

- dude inksoul got so tired of her shit so quick I'm with them on this

-GIRL YOU ARE NOT IN A SITUATIONSHIP THEY HATES YOUR ASS

-HOLY SHIT PLEASE THE SOUND EFFECTS ARE GONNA KILL ME

-when is Madam's soundboard gonna drop I need it

-i never thought I would hear the word "sus" in a rusty quill podcast but okay

-so this is the point we've reached in humanity

-STOP SAYING SUS

-I AM IN CLASS LISTENING TO THIS TRYING NOT TO BURST OUT LAUGHING PLEEEEEASE

-oh my god inksoul is digging up bodies?? WAIT no this related to the other case where uh person with tattoos was looking for the body they dug up, is this the same cemetary?? So it was actually inksoul trying to find that body??

-NOT THE BRUH SOUND EFFECT

-"so I bail" I can imagine her scurrying away like a cartoon character

-yeah girl only real goths dig up corpses, get with the times girly

-oh naurrrr

-OKAY SO THEY ARE ROBBING GRAVES

-vicious pick me trash fr girl

-OH MY GOD ITS A YOUTUBER APOLOGY BAHAHA

-"Im such a good person" OH MY GOD KILL ME

-"ig we're ops??" Who in the fuck wrote this episode

-I need to stop typing this post is going to be so long because I can't bare listening to the internet slang

-oh so her heart IS breaking

-yeah you're actually not okay

-UMMMM "help" ????

-THIS HAPPENED RECENTLY IN MARCH??

-oh thank god the cats are okay

-oh my god she's actually letting hate comments kill her wtf

-OH OH OH EW EW EW THAT NOISE

-DID HER HEART RIP OUT??

-please alice go get coffee get me some too

-gwen wtf

-oh so Lena is pissed

-I DONT LIKE THIS

-lmao Lena is actually being sensible here

-STOP BRINGING ELDRITCH HORRORS INTO THE OFFICE??? LENA IS KINDA RIGHT HERE YOU SAW WHAT BONZO WAS WHY DID YOU THINK THIS EXTERNAL WAS ANY BETTER

-yeah you might just die holy shit gwen

-Gwen you are gonna get fired

-okay who wrote this episode credits tell me

-ALEXANDER J NEWALL YOU FUCKING BASTARD

Okay ignoring everything else I just had to torture myself with by listening to, genuinely interesting episode. We have confirmation now that inksoul is hunting down corpses for some reason. Inksoul is definitely important and will be showing up again soon I fear.

[archoneddzs15]

Sega Mega Drive - Dahna Megami Tanjoh

Title: Dahna Megami Tanjoh / ダーナ 女神誕生

Developer/Publisher: Information Global Service (IGS)

Release date: 20 December 1991

Catalogue No.: T-64013

Genre: Action

Dahna is a game I find myself coming back to often, struggling with its controls, unrelenting difficulty, and unappealing visuals. Why? Seriously, I don’t know. There’s just something that keeps me stumbling back for more, like a masochist in withdrawal for some cruel yet delicious form of torture. It must be that I simply want to complete it to never have to touch it again, or it may have something to do with the untapped potential you can so easily see, the potential that all but gives up so close to its goal.  I can kind of see why this one was left in Japan and Korea.

Dahna is the story of two daughters, Regine and Dahna. Both were born with incredible magic powers, especially Regine. Her power was so great that forces from the underworld killed their parents and kidnapped her. Dahna escaped and was raised by the sorcerer Magh. When Magh is kidnapped by an evil sorceress the now-grown Dahna sets out to save him. It would be easy to draw comparisons to Golden Axe by giving Dahna a cursory glance. In reality, it is closer to being the Rastan game we never got for Genesis (we did get a Rastain game for the Master System, Game Gear, and MSX). And yes, I’m including Rastan Saga 2 (Mega Drive & PC Engine) in that. Dahna has a variety of sword attacks similar to Zelda 2. You have a standard three-hit sword combo, that can up stab and downward stab.  You have a magic meter that builds up by defeating enemies or collecting items. Depending on the amount gathered you can perform one of three spells.

Mechanically Dahna is sound. The problems come from the stiff controls. Anything that does not involve attacking has a slight delay. If an enemy leaps behind, you Dahna is slow to turn around and attack. You can both crouch and crawl along on the ground. But doing either is very slow as you have to manually get back up in steps when performing either action. There is a considerable amount of platforming and for the most part the controls are serviceable. The times where the high jump won’t perform on command is cause for much frustration, however.

What ultimately ruins the game is the insane difficulty. Dahna gives you a single life and five credits to reach its conclusion. That is far from ideal considering the massive undertaking ahead. There are bottomless pits at every turn and with the less-than-ideal controls chances are you will fall into more than a few. The game does not refill your life bar between levels which is insane. In fact, life-restoring items are rare: at most you’ll restore three or four bars of health. That is nothing.  The only way to fully restore your health is to reach one hundred thousand experience points, which also increases your max health.

The most disappointing aspect of Dahna is that it could have been solid. There are plenty of elements within the game that I really like. There is a great deal of variety from one stage to the next. Stage 1 begins with you on the back of a giant. It is incredibly similar to the Bizarrians in Golden Axe, and I would have loved to see more of that. The following level sees you on horseback as you ride down a mountain. Later on, you even fly on the back of a dragon. When everything is working right combat can be fun. The game is very bloody and has creative bosses as well. But you have to tolerate a lot of janks to appreciate its good points. A few slight tweaks would have gone a long way.

[blueiight]

and I think with or without redemption its still cathartic to see a villain get dealt a lot of pain like even if the person dealing the blows has no real grievance with him. Its like narrative karma kinda like how Matt Damon gets his head blown off by Mark Wahlberg in the The Departed, not necessarily someone he personally wronged but just very fun to witness as an audience member.

all of them r fucked up but ig les is the best [or is the most entertaining] at being fucked up? but if u want that suffering ur gonna see a lot of that including some from louis. rj&co have suggested theyre saving louis’s Burn Lestat™️ card for s2, and armand is definitely gonna put lestat thru the torture rack. i think louis being more agentic in lestat’s s1 attempted murder plot has a lot of implications, and i want to ask my unanswered anons who keep asking me to repeat myself about lestat: what kind of catharsis r u looking for? and what show do u think ur watching? it reminds me of how @likethemodel said, with shows like hannibal people are perfectly fine with an amoral, unchanging, evil to be evil for fun’s sake character, but with iwtv, theyre so discomfitted by it. why? is it bc u cant look away & lie to urselves the same way u can with other types of charas like this? idk. i havent watched hannibal, they did so . yea. but if u wanna see les go thru hell, its coming lol. but if u want like some adolescence of utena type shit where claudia and louis run over lestat w his car & leave to the outside world type shit its probably not going to happen. part of claudia & louis’s relationship decaying has to fundamentally incorporate the fact thatlouis wants to wants to be desired& the focal point of someone else’s caring control at the expense of claudia, who especially showverse cannot provide louis such things as a immortal girlchild. his daughter, his redemption, can only go so far. u ‘liberated’ urself from lestat, whats next? like. claudia isnt going to die in s2ep1. shes going to be in majority of that season. claudia warns louis about armand’s intentions toward harming her, but louis is so in love he ignores it n thats a big part in how their relationship degrades. so its just all around fun fucked up shit coming that some ppl will be rly angry at n treat it as if its a fault of the writing. when its rly themselves who put expectations if not completely made up things that have very weak /nonexistent canon basis so far much less later on. these immortal characters are endlessly forgiving of brutality. they love + rationalize the acts of their abusers. while they go thru character development, they somewhat remain stagnant in their flaws. bc what is immortality if not living the same life over n over n over n over aga

[saltwatersweets]

hope its okay to share my opinion on finale too all good if not. I really liked it for the most part, its just I think there were points where it made c!tommys need to target c!dream come out of nowhere when c!dream should know why c!tommy would attack him giving the chase seen after prison break, and the talk he had with c!tommy after doomsday about how their story would never be over. It was a surprise to me seeing c!dream so shocked to see c!tommy there after what he put into c!tommys head and I say that as a c!dream and c!tommy apologist. Another thing was c!dream talks about how they could have been friends and how there was destruction but there were moments in the past where c!tommy saw c!dream as a friend but c!dream referred to that as business, and there were moments were c!dream caused destruction and chaos before c!tommy had. I can understand why the ccs wouldn't remember every single detail of the dsmp though and since lore wise c!dream went through a year of being tortured, his memory probably isn't the best and he focuses more on the big picture than little things like Im mentioning. I've watched the finale in full many times now, I still don't understand the reset plan that c!staged duo had but Ig the point was that they didn't get it either. They wanted to kill everyone and revive but also didn't want to disrupt the balance but it was different to what they said in the stream before it, I feel like c!tommy was too sympathetic because in response to pitying c!dream, c!dream tells him he deserved torture which does frame it in an odd way to me even though it was in character.. that and exile being mocked. I love that the finale showed that violence wasn't the answer and didn't repeat things but sometimes it did feel very lobsided on who was sympathizing for who, and who was blamed the most when the intention was trying to write it as equal for both sides. The reset and nuke itself imo was fine because in s2, the characters were going to regain their memories eventually anyway but it sucks we never got to see that.

(/dsmp /rp) i unfortunately can't really give a good answer to this because honestly i'm still kinda looking into it myself, and i don't really consider myself the expert analyst on either character despite my love for both of them </3 so take this all with a grain of salt !!

my thoughts on why c!dream was so annoyed at c!tommy seeking him out to kill him likely was mainly because c!dream hadn't seeked c!tommy out for a while at that point, to be fair. i view what he said to c!tommy after doomsday as trying to intimidate him again. a lot of how c!dream behaves around c!tommy (especially after exile) is intimidation and exaggerating his "evilness", like him saying that he did doomsday because c!tommy is "fun" or a lot of staged disc finale like what he tells c!sam. so even though c!tommy has good reason to believe dream is intimidating him, a lot of it is just that: intimidation.

to me, the reason why c!dream does this is to keep c!tommy in line, because from what he's seen c!tommy continues to annoy him but less so when he's scared of him. and, like cc!dream said, to make. him believe that c!dream was his only friend and all. i think this goes into c!tommy saying he saw c!dream as a friend but c!dream didn't - i think this is just the truth; during exile c!dream was trying to get c!tommy to view him as a friend, but i highly doubt that c!dream viewed him as a friend, ykwim? when he says that they could have been friends, i think he's referring to EARLY early dream smp when tommy was going around causing problems. i think he views c!tommy joining as the root cause of all his problems on the server (and c!tommy views c!dream's Everything as the cause of all HIS problems. they both have a very negative view on each other, and this view is both founded at times and unfounded in others!!)

as for c!dream saying c!tommy "deserved" torture, i'm super interested by this line!! to me, c!dream isn't like, say, c!sam or c!quackity who i believe base the people they hurt on if they "deserve" it or not (like dream himself in the prison; the two both seemingly wholeheartedly believe he deserved what he got). for example, c!dream doesn't kill c!vikk and c!lazar because they "deserve" to die, he kills them because they're useful towards his goals.

on that note c!dream and "deserved" pain is very interesting to me - he tells c!sam he didn't deserve to be tortured, and that he hates him for letting him be tortured, but in basically the same conversation says he understands c!sam letting him be tortured, says he understood the risks when he got the revive book, and says he might have done the same thing in his position. bro literally rationalises his own torture to the person who let it happen </3 he also asks c!sam if c!quackity deserves torture and even threatens to torture him in an act of revenge (something he doesn't end up doing or even attempts to do for over HALF A YEAR, despite how much he clearly hates c!quackity). i think its entirely possible that part of him genuinely believes c!tommy deserved his treatment in exile, but it is important for me to say that i don't believe he treated him cruelly BECAUSE he believed c!tommy "deserved" it.

as for c!dream calling exile torture yet also minimising it, again this is SO interesting to me because in my opinion, i don't view exile as torture. it was awful and cruel, yes, but not torture, and c!dream, who was tortured for at least two months, calling it torture is veryyy interesting to me. torture is something that's terrible for anyone, no matter who it happens - it would be just as bad for c!dream to be tortured as c!sapnap, or c!quackity, or anyone, because torture is terrible for anyone. meanwhile, what happened in exile was a much more personal form of manipulation that was more specific to c!tommy. if, say, c!purpled was exiled and got the same treatment that c!tommy got in exile, i don't think he would be NEARLY as affected by it, because exile's events were more specific to c!tommy who views his loved ones in a much different way than c!purpled does.

this post isn't even me answering anything anymore this is just me dumping my own thoughts LMAO 😭 c!dream, canonically physically tortured, calling what he did to c!tommy torture is just so interesting to me. just shedding some light on how i view their dynamic and thought processes i suppose!!

(and as for c!dream's and c!punz's plans to reset the world i genuinely have no idea what the actual plan was there LMFAO. and also with basically everything i said above: it is somewhat important to note that c!dream had lowkey been high on copium for like. two years straight at that point 💀 bro has been in a mental spiral for a WHILE and c!punz, bless him for being the only one still loyal to him, is his number one enabler. a lot of what he says isn't going to make complete sense at times; a lot of what he says isn't what he completely believes, and he often threatens to do things he doesn't do. to me both he and c!tommy are really similar like that: they both say things and try to make themselves "bigger", at least somewhat as a defense mechanism.)

[bbyboybucket]

Hey!

saw an ask game and was kinda bored and watned to chat, so here:

headphones or earbuds?

do you talk to yourself?

what do you think says the most about a person?

and finally. . .

what's one weird fact you know?

That's all, have a wonderful day! :)

Heyyy! Thanks for sending this!!

I definitely am an earbuds person.

I talk to myself 24/7, especially when I’m trying to do something haha.

I think it’s hard to choose just one thing because there’s so much that can reveal a lot about a person. I might sound crazy bc I know it’s always said “don’t judge a book by its cover” but that’s so not true. I think the way someone chooses to express themselves in their clothes and style and hair etc. really tells you a lot because if you pay attention, that’s a big look into what they like and prefer, sometimes what their interests are, and sometimes it can even indicate some personality traits too. For a basic example, if someone regularly wears a lot of makeup, like lipstick and detailed eyeshadow, that tells me that they’re artsy and they like making things beautiful. And I think the same thing about how someone decorates their home/bedroom, because that’s giving you probably and even bigger look into who they are. Because every single item in there really just represents a little piece of them. It can give a lot about their personality and interests.

Butttttt if we’re talking about mainly personality traits and particularly in the sense of whether they’re trustworthy, kind, reliable, etc. I think one of the biggest things (kinda an obvious thing too ig) is how they talk about other people when they aren’t around. I mean not only does that give insight into wether or not they’re two faced but it kinda can tell you if someone is a bitter person, if they’re spiteful, it can show if they’re insecure and so much more. But also, I think how someone reacts when a friend or loved one (or even a stranger in some cases) is in need or having a hard time. There’s A LOTTTTT that can say about someone, too much for me to get into.

As for a weird fact, I’m sure I know a million but I can’t think of very many off the top of my head, so you may have heard this one before lol but apparently Dolphins can be malicious. Male dolphins regularly SA female ones, sometimes groups of males will find a female and separate her from her school (? Idk what it’s called? Herd?) and take turns SAing the female until it sometimes dies. And if the female resists they’ll bite and attack it until it’s weak enough. They torture and kill other animals for fun, not for food. And another fun little fact is that they like getting high off pufferfish venom.

[ieatstoriesforbreakfast]

Reactions to some questions:

Why must it be covered in blood at all? But if I had to choose... guilty.

The throne looks like wealth. So... something to be destroyed, ig. I don't like people who abuse their power and a throne is a great way to do that.

Why would I let the sword be in my mouth? Are Kurt and Ram sword fighting or smth? Get them out of there! The last one sounds kind of poetic... and the least violent, so...

You say 'rules', so obviously more than one. Also, yeah, there are so many unspoken social rules that it's really hard to keep up with.

Uh... idk. Ig parents? No matter what, they're never going to be perfect, and they're always going to hurt their kid in some way, so... but... ok, ok, yeah parents.

A fear? Death. Darkness. Uhh... getting tortured. Killing someone. Turning into a Jeffrey Dahmer disciple. Let's see... Hah! Being useless? No, my friend. I'm ok being useless, as long as I had fun during my time on earth. The last one, probably. Trauma that impacted you so greatly, you can't seem to find a new way of life. The first is close second, though.

A home? Oh, I would kill to have one by the beach! Wait, I can only choose one? But... aw, man... I want windows and someone else. A door, actually, I want a door. So I can come and go as I please. So... window?

A town is an opportunity, I think. To make yours, I think. Not in the sense of leadership, in the sense that you could settle down and... idk. Just... yknow, leave your mark. Something to breathe in? Yeah, that.

I. I hope I leave it laughing. Laughing because of the good memories I made.

Uh. Any of those work. Maybe the one by Pablo?

Huh? Man... hard questions... "I love you," ig? But disappointment... agh! Idk! Each of those is so messed up in its own way! "I love you," like the way JD loved Veronica? "I forgive you," blaming the victim? Or "I'm disappointed," as if they have a right to be when they hurt you so much? Ig disappointment? Being angry, but having no one listen to you and having no power to do anything? That's scary.

Rebellion. No question. It feels like more, but that's the one out of the three for me.

A sin? Uh... inevitable, but also alive? Alive. Yeah. The meaning changes from person to person, and if you've never sinned, you're not alive, so...

Guilt? Oh, man. Idk. Silence. Like, radio silence from the other person.

Uh... idk. A consequence, ig? Of smth. Whether it be old age or a mugger, yeah. Not exactly, my fault, but... I'd also assume tired, because it'd be like falling asleep for the last time. Yeah, that one. Tired.

Debatable I'd go anywhere. I might just cease to exist and not go anywhere because I don't exist. But... one could argue I went to oblivion, so... the only question is... do ghosts exist, and would I become one? But... there's no answer for that, and... basing it off my last answer... anywhere but here.

What is hell? Wow, so interested, huh? Not other people. They can be, but... not always. I don't want to make that generalization. Barren, ig.

A wish? I've always liked flying, and I've had good dreams of it, so basing my answer on symbolism... free.

Uh... wow. It. It really depends. It could be "can I please go back to sleep?" "Could I just muster up the energy to get some water? My lips are so cracked." "What the fuck was I dreaming about?" Or "Why does my body sometimes make me get up before the crack of dawn?" ...sometimes, I even get so lost in who I am in the dream, sometimes I find myself thinking things I would never think of as who I normally am. I can easily see myself thinking the middle one when I'm in that mindset... Sometimes I do get writing ideas that I just have to write down before I forget, but mom just... wants me to sleep. And I don't want to sleep. But that's more of a question for her, not my ceiling. But it's also more Me than the other one... yeah, that one. The one I'd ask mom.

I. I got king. What. I expected poet. My nickname is literally "best poet ever actually" in a Discord server. What.

Whatever, I'm a king, ig. Queen, actually, but same diff. Anyway, I'll be right back.

Ok, here's a fantasy game because I want to feel nostalgy (there was a period of time, when my dream №1 was becoming an elf)

So, here we go

1) take this quiz

2) make your own character, based on the result, using this piccrew (the character can look whatever you want)

3) repost with your quiz result and your character. Don't forget to tag somebody

Feel free to take part even if you weren't tagged :3

I'll go first

I'll tag: @sparrows-my-abhorred

[cringelock]

i saw endgame and uh. yeah lmao

[nyxyxx]

Despair - Mondstadt

Pt. 2

So I made the mistake of reading a bunch of villain darling AU content and somehow managed to make myself cry with my own ideas so that's something,,,,Ig this isn't really "villain" darling since they never really end up being a villain, it's more so just sad. (also its kinda lengthy so I'll probably split it up into 3 or 4 parts)

Description of reader (just including it as a warning): Hair long enough to cut - and make a significant difference - but the gender is still neutral!

Warnings!: angst; injuries and violence / ab*se; Genshin characters being assholes tbh.

The moment you found yourself in Teyvat, you were beyond ecstatic. You were just so excited to meet the characters you cared so much about; the characters you worked so hard on perfecting to be at their strongest. You were also very intrigued on learning more into the lore of this world, and there was no better way than to be here yourself.

You awoke somewhere in Mondstadt, and since you played so often, you remembered how to get to the city. The thing is, nothing turned out in your favour. Everyone either ignored you or harassed you, even those you thought were very kind people were now all turning on you without any reasonable explanation. They called you an "imposter," they called you a "disgrace." The harassment would never end, the abuse you suffered would never cease.

You thought getting to meet the archons would be fun, that is, until you met Venti. He was absolutely horrid towards you, laughing at you, mocking your appearance and attacking you. He told you that you were a grave sinner, and such a blasphemous transgression would not be taken lightly.

Even if you had thought things couldn't have gotten any worse, you were completely wrong. You were so very hungry, all you asked for was a single piece of food, but everyone refused to sell anything to you. Hell, it wasn't even like you had any mora in the first place to give.

It got so worse to the point where the knights were chasing you down, almost as if they were holding pitchforks and going to burn you on a stake. You fled from the city, tired, filthy, injured and hungry. You no longer remembered how far you ran, but you still could tell where you were. Afterall, you had spent so much time and energy into this game that you were so familiar with different areas and environments.

You hid under a tree somewhere in the Dadaupa Gorge, starving and wishing for just a tiny bit of food. You were exhausted, you didn't know how long it'd been since you last slept. You couldn't sleep even if you wanted to, the paranoia and anxiety haunted your every thought and it was even worse within your dreams.

You stared at your lap, your clothes soiled and dirtied from all of the torture the people of Mondstadt had done to you, and since you couldn't buy any new clothes, these were the only things you had, no matter how disfigured or smeared in dirt they were. You rubbed your hands together and winced, the cuts on your hands burned, and your whole body was aching.

In the corner of your eye you found what might have been your saviour. A light of hope within these dark times. Of course, there was no question that it couldn't be a person. No one would help you, and you would be afraid the moment anyone even came near you. No, your saviour was a mere Sunsettia tree, that bore several delicious fruits.

You plucked one off of the branches, trying to make as little noise as possible, and eventually sat down on the soft grass. It was quite peaceful at the moment, though you knew it would do little to soothe your scarred mind. Looking down to the plump fruit in your hands, you ran your fingers along the intricate details.

Despite how horrible you were being treated in this place, you couldn't help but admire how beautiful everything looked. Unlike you, who was covered in dirt and injuries from head to toe. You almost felt jealous of it, how utterly clean and ripe it looked making you feel bad for taking a bite. It made you feel as if someone like you shouldn't be ruining such a good fruit, even if it was your only hope to surviving.

You ate it rather fast, as you were starving and receiving the food was like having a cup of water after being parched for days on end. It was so much more tasty than you could've imagined while playing the game. It was truly a strange thing, how being in such a state of sadness could make you see how perfect everything was around you.

The world that you were supposed to enjoy, and bask in all of the good things, and maybe some of the bad things but nothing like this. You still remembered your initial dream to explore this place and become good friends with all of the characters you loved so much, that dream had quickly faded, and it hadn't even taken much time.

You grabbed more of the sunsettias, eating as many as it took to satisfy your hunger, while observing the way the leaves blowed in the gentle wind, same with the grass. How the clouds moved up above, and the birds flying high up in the sky. This scenery would have been so relaxing if it hadn't been the very wind to nearly kill you as you walked through Mondstadt. The anemo archon himself wished nothing more than for you to disappear, but how could this place still be so...calm?

You chuckled quietly to yourself, perhaps being miserable made you think more philosophical. Not even just that, but also made you think a lot more depressing thoughts than usual. You reached up towards your shortened hair, remembering the moment so vividly, it made you shiver in fear. The way the acting grand master who you had been so excited to meet had you by the hair, and sliced most of it off.

Everyone around had laughed at you, mocked you, and even proceeded to assault you even more. You decided that you didn't like Mondstadt as much as you thought anymore. Even now, as you wished to move, to do anything but stay in one place, because staying in one place meant you'd be easier to find.

Although you didn't have any intention on going to Liyue, you had one idea that you weren't even sure would work. It wasn't until you stumbled into a hilichurl camp on accident that you had found an answer.

Instead of attacking you like everything else in this world seemed to enjoy doing, they brought you gifts, fruits, vegetables, old clothes that must've been left by wandering adventures, one of the hilichurls even brought you a squirrel - still alive of course.

You found an old cloak, it looked like it would tear so easily, but it was your only option. You put it on, hiding as much of your features as you possibly could, and thanked the hilichurls for being so kind to you. They were the first creatures you'd met to actually help you, rather than despise your existence.

[doritofalls]

I don't know how to say this, but I think Korekiyo sliced open my brain in some capacity. I became a fan of him through his execution before I even knew that Danganronpa was a MYSTERY game, and then just everything about his character -- the murder. the fact that he was a murderer before the killing game. the self-soothing gestures. the mask -- and then the more OFF-PUTTING ELEMENTS of the character like the sister angle or bondage aspect or the military uniform just cleaved my brain in the fact that you can really just. rod serling a character in a work that was not made for it. just go "man, wouldn't it be fucked up if there was a guy like that" and they DID. And it's not like Danganronpa has never done mini stories or implied arcs for the murderers of the given chapter or handled sensitive topics poorly, but Korekiyo just tips the scales in such a way that I find RIVETING. It's actually gotten me more interested in more disturbing media and movies to just try and figure out how to do it myself. I kinda just want to take Korekiyo and jam him into a different work and try to DO something with him, grant closure or something, but I can't even imagine how I'd start, if that's even my plan. It's all so much in ways I can't even begin to comprehend and I have no idea if any of this sounds coherent, but I guess that's my general take on things and your Korekiyo analysis is just so. so good to me. so good for me. bless.

that first sentence hit me as such a jumpscare i was like hE DID WHAT TO YOUR BRAIN????

that being said fantastic ask, let me answer properly under the read more 💕

i think just generally speaking, the executions are one of the strongest visual aspects of dr. like sure they are usually quite silly and over-the-top, which is very brand conscious of the games, but i always found the disconnect between the situation and the (lack of) expression of the character so. eerie is not the word, but something like that. a strange disconnect between the world these characters claim to be from and the situation they are forced to exist in. very fun.

and kiyo's execution is definitely one of the stronger ones imo, both visually and conceptually! it takes near full use of his themes and motifs as a character and it's just. brutal, unusually so. not an execution as much as torture stacked up till he's dead, and even after that. which i think, makes reasonably good sense when you consider his victim count compared to any of the others.

it also carries a great symbolic reading looking in from the "kiyo Was abused by his sister" angle, because near all of its elements - being tied up, being slowly boiled alive - can be interpreted in a symbolic relation to an abusive relationship. i also find it interesting that kiyo's execution continues post-mortem because he is deep enough in his delusions for death itself not to bring him despair. he is used to pain. he is used to death. monokuma needs to use his sister's explicit rejection of him to break his spirit, something he has spent his life convincing himself, working to ensure could never happen. like the writers really said fuck this guy in particular.

i hadn't touched upon much of the bondage/milita inspirations of his character - it kind of baffled me for a long time as an odd aesthetic choice to make tbh -, but i feel like i understand the line of thinking, at least? even if i'm not a fan. korekiyo's character takes a Lot of inspiration from both japanese folklore (the kuchisake-onna and futakuchi-onna inspo) and just the edo period in general, of which the roots of kinbaku are originated from. from there we make the leap of bdsm and bdsm fashion culture (gimp mask and the frequently echoed miliata motif), and you kind of get from point a to point b, even if it makes very little sense outside of a character specific angle. i do NOT think kodaka my man put this much thought into anything at all concerning this game but that's what my brain's for ig.

yeah though, even compared to edginess level of any previous addition of the series, korekiyo's just a Handful. it's not like we hadn't had a murderer part of a killing game before with a long track list (genocide jack), or a murderer with a quote-unquote split personality (genocide jack...TWO) or a victim of explicit csa (kotoko) or a crazy guy that's just a touch too fruity (nagito) but with kiyo it's just. all of it and it's SO much. and it's all handled and framed so BADLY. like kiyo's just such an insane character, not referring to his mental health, more like, the concept of him. he's norman bates from psycho and he's billy from black christmas and he's pinhead from hellraiser and the narrative is completely unable to handle half of his over-the-top baggage. he's the perpetrator and he's the victim in a way the narrative refuses to elaborate on, and while he doesn't exactly deserve better, you feel like he deserves at least a fighting chance in a competent narrative. iunno. i also don't make sense here, but feel free to dm me anon if you wanna talk about kiyo not making sense. i'm free all the time.

thank you for liking my analysis!!! he is the worm in my brain i have no say in the matter right now, but i love to know that people actually read them and go hm :'] i've been busy with work/a dhmis drawing i been sitting on but have like some...post game kiyo shoochi sketches where they're friends and niche internet micro celebrities.

[thisdreamplace]

I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖

[carcinized]

*grabby hands* animatic ideas do tell :D

well the entire superbloom album is literally dream smp animatics to me... im sorry mandy you wrote a wonderful album about cool topics and stuff but its about a minecraft roleplay now, and these next ones are all off that album :D also half of them are c!tubbo because well. you know who youre talking to lmao

this got LONG so

the end: c!tubbo. in general. "all good things come to an end / to make room for new beginnings / all good things come to an end, an end, an end, but it's not the end" c!tommy's death. losing l'manberg. etc.

ghost: this is a walking exile arc clingy duo animatic are you. are you fukcing kidding me. tommy hallucinatnig tubbo? "everywhere i go / i see your ghost / every alley every road / i see you close / not enough to hold" HE HALLUCINATES HIM ??? and "go to sleep, go to sleep to see your face / i wake up, i wake up trace" dont tell me they wouldnt. "i have tried, i have tried to erase you / but that's a crime, that's a crime i just can't do" THE PHOTOS OF TUBBO & MD AND STUFF?? (that dream took down but) come ON. this song is about them ueueue

whywhywhy: i imagine this about c!tubbo during new l'manberg ig. "am i allowed to lay down my smile / and be bitter just for a while?" its just kinda . i could see it fitting him therefore it does in my head because i have brainrot

alone: bee duo and i typed up a line by line description of the animatic in my head but i cant find it so . ahahah there goes those hours but HEY its ok... i still have it in my head :') they r healing nd growing together <3

over the rainbow: this could. this could so be an animatic where c!ponk goes absolutely batshit. any of them really but it IS a breakup song so... you go ponk youre doing great sweetie <3 also though. let c!niki get absolutely PISSED and pop off. please. or c!tubbo you know HSDHSFDJL

it's my turn: this is about the cookie outpost this is about the cookie outpost this is about the-

no but seriously. c!tubbo talks about how everyone else always gets to break the rules and mess things up during that conflict, and that's entirely what this song is about. "now it's my turn to be the crazy one / to finally come undone / to go and let the house just burn / to mess the system up" its literally about that

(also the song has a nice instrumental with a computerised synthesizer i believe and it reminds me of lemon demon which reminds me of ranboo so its so fun to imagine a little montage of bee duo building the outpost and arguing and just LOOKING COOL!!! they always end back to back with arms crossed looking at the camera all cool in my head its awesome)

find my way home: c!tubbo for self projection reasons, nothing more

7-2: INCREDIBLE news. you know how i've mentioned c!tubbo in all of these nand how it could be about him. WELL THIS ONE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM!!! a miracle on this blog, really. this one is about PONK and really i should be able to just type the chorus and you'll all know exactly what it's about

"cause i've walked through fires and danced upon my own broken heart / piece myself back together every time i fall apart / cause ive won hands over again with the least favoured pair of cards / 7-2 i'll always love you cause you got me so damn far"

are you FUKCING KIDDING ME

"walked through fires"? yeah. damn right she did. sam burned him in lava. "danced upon my own broken heart?" yeah. broken heart. sam was their boyfriend. they moved on to foolish. dancing upon a broken heart, making it seem like nothing, laughing at it. yeah. "piece myself back together every time i fall apart"??? yeah. respawning after sam killed him multiple times . YEAH. "cause ive won hands over again with the least favoured pair of cards" ????? CARDS??? KEY CARDS?? THE REASON SAM KILLED PONK AND TORTURED THEM AND CUT HER ARM OFF ???? "7-2 i'll always love you cause you got me so damn far" ponk still loves sam TRY and tell me otherwise

oxygen: so this song is essentially about, well... "thought you were my oxygen / but you were just the opposite" sums it up pretty well.

and the number one reason i say this song should be like. every fandom has one is the way it's created musically. "words that ive heard from my mother and everybody else i know." theres a dissconnect before the word "know" and you should cut out from one character saying it to them to ALL the characters saying it. zoom out. PLEASE. then the prechorus has this lovely harmony so its two voices at one.. two characters? have the two characters leaning on on opposite sides of a wall, away from each other, saying it. "i don't wanna be so damn afraid / of all this very necessary change / hundred times i watched you walk away / and now i'm okay" LET THEM BOTH SING IT ABOUT EACH OTHER. also its just a cool badass song

anyways so this song dsmp wise could be about so many things. angsty c!duo because we all know they were codepend in the l'manberg days (not their fault obviously... god there was one line in a fic i read that made me SOB) but MAINLY i can imagine everyone after c!wilbur blew up l'manberg and. they all loved him so much and he betrayed them like that and his mental health had been deteriorating in exile and,,, (once again not his fault but like??? we all know c!niki was rightfully pissed. give her an animatic on it. also c!fundy.). also could be c!quackity about c!schlatt.... etc etc etc

ALSO our own house by misterwives is about l'manberg.... "we built our own house, own house / with our hands over our hearts / and we swore on that day / that it'll never fall apart" i. i miss l'manberg a lot

sorry how many of these were about c!tubbo. actually i'm not at all but the sentiment is still there. i am sorry that i butchered all of mandy's incredible songs about cool topics and stuff and made it to be about a minecraft roleplay. mandy i am so so sorry you are so cool marry me please

[wayward-mikaelson]

Centuries--Three

Word Count: 2255

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Characters: Sam, Dean, Cas, Jack, Reader, Crowley (Mentioned), Maggie (Mentioned), Hezekiah (OG, Mentioned), Farid (OG)

About: The Reader and Dean go out after learning from Cas that she is on both Heavens and Hells most wanted list. They are then cornered by a few demons where they learn about another missing piece of the Readers missing memories. One that has both Dean and Reader agreeing that Sam mustn’t know about.

Warnings: Language, Tease (Sexual), Fluff, Angst, Fighting, Blood and Gore, Panic Attack, 

A/N: I am noticing that I am changing my original story line a bit. I really hope you all like it!!!! 

A/N 2: Tag all your fave accounts/friends who love SPN!!! 

A/N 3: If you want to be tagged in of my fics, Let me know below or send me a DM!!!

Forever Tag List: @hobby27​ @donnaintx​ @myinconnelly1​ @magssteenkamp​ @elansaidaris​ @440mxs-wife​ @squirrelnotsam​

Dean/Jensen Tag List: @akshi8278​ @sandlee44​

*18+ CONTENT. ANYONE YOUNGER THAN 18 WILL NEED TO MOVE ON. I DON’T WANT TO RISK MY ACCOUNT BEING THANOSED.

**PLEASE DO NOT COPY AND PASTE MY WORK ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION OR WITHOUT GIVING ME THE PROPER CREDIT. I WORK TOO HARD ON MY STORIES TO HAVE THEM STOLEN.

***THIS WORK IS ALSO POSTED ON IG, WATTPAD, AND AO3. PLEASE GO SHOW THEM SOME LOVE THERE TOO.

"A whole fucking year?!" Dean asks the next morning. He sits up in bed and tousles his hair. If he weren't too annoyed and upset, I would have found the action sexy and hot. But I don't, also doesn't mean I'm not turn on by it. "And you didn't think to wake me up with this information?"

I take a deep breath. Understand what he's saying. I should have woken him up but, to be honest, I was more focused on what I was feeling when I found out I had been back for a full on year. "According to what Sam found on the phone," I say rolling out of bed. Before I get dressed, I turn back to Dean. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. You actually looked really peaceful sleeping."

When I came back to the room, I had seen how peaceful he looked. Even when I was living the first time around...wow, I never knew I would ever have a thought like that.  Dean rarely ever saw rest like that. It could have been the sex. It could have been seeing me alive and somewhat well. It could have been a combination of both.

Dean nods his head and rolls out of bed. I bite my lip as I see his entire figure. "I did sleep good," He turns back to me and smiles at me. Then he notices me staring at him. Dean leans over the bed and eyes the black underwear I'm wearing under his tshirt. "You know," he tugs at the hem of the shirt and elastic of the underwear. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

I smile and playfully push his hand back. "Not now," I pull some pants on and throw my hair up in a hair tie. Turning back around dean is in my favorite red button up shirt. That damn red shirt did things to me and made me feel things that are just as dirty as the sex last night.

"Well, now that's hot." Dean's dressed and pulls me into his arms. "Maybe we can get you some fake glasses and you can teach me a few lessons." His voices purrs against my skin and I am very tempted to rip my clothes off and shove Dean on the bed. But I can't. Not this time at least. We have so much to do and get onto.

"Sweetheart," I say wrapping my arms around his neck. "When all of this over and I get a years worth of memories back, you can have me in whatever way and shape you want." I plant a soft and gentle kiss on his lips.

"I guess we should get those memories back then huh?" Dean gives my ass a little squeeze before pushing away from me. "What do you say we get some food?"

We head to the kitchen to hear Sam talking to Cas. When we enter the Kitchen we see the two of them huddled up while Jack sat a few feet from them looking at a book. He looks confused and interested at the same time. Cas looks up and stops talking.

"What's up?" I ask sitting across from Jack but the questions is aimed at Cas and Sam. They continue to look at me and not say anything. Dean picks it up too.

"Dragons are real?" Jack looks up at me with his eye brows knitted together.

"Yes," I say. "They kidnap virgins and the only way they can be killed is by a blade they forge." I take the book from him and close it. "Go to my room, its down that hall and the third door on the left. There will be better books in there for you to choose from. Grab The Lightning Thief  and read it."

Jack gets up and does what I say. Once he was gone Cas sighs. "He should be reading up on all the Lore he can."

"He's a child Cas," I say. "Let him enjoy something fun." I turn towards the angel and younger Winchester. "Now, what's up that you guys had to stop talking in hushed tones. It sure has something to do with me. Let's get it all out in the open now."

It's quiet for a while. My heart races because if it was something I did and because I won't remember it, then I don't know what I would do to even forgive myself. Dean must have seen my worry because he is sitting next to me. Cas and Sam look at each other and Sam nods.

Cas takes a deep breath before speaking. "I over heard something on Angel radio," Another deep breath. "That both angels and demons are looking for you. Apparently they have had you on their radar since you came back last year. They want to know how and why. It is not pretty."

I let out a shaky breath. "Well they can get in line until we figure that out." I get up to get my blood moving. Dean attempts to grab my hand but, I push it away. "I need to get out of here and get some air." I start to feel dizzy. What did I do to get on heavens and hells most wanted list? I get to the top of the stairs and realize that Dean has my hands and his turning me towards him.

"I can't let you go out there," he says. "Not with a giant target on your back. You're on a wanted list. If any of them get you, it won't be pretty. They will torture you and I don't know what I would do if I lost you again."

I stare at Dean. I see the worry on his face. He must see the fear on mine. "You're not my parent. Dean," I whisper. "I'm full grown ass woman who can't breath in here," My voice raises through clenched teeth. "So let me go so I can get some air or I will kick your ass."

Dean drops my hands and ushers me out the door. Once outside, I put my hands on my knees and just breath.  Dean standing beside me rubbing my back. "I'm sorry," He says kneeling down to look at me. "Where should we go?" He rattles the impala keys in his hands.

Within the hour, we are parked in a alley way about to rip our clothes off when there is tapping on the window. We both sigh in annoyance. I slide off Deans lap and fix up my hair and see not one but, four people standing in the alley. I look at Dean who is getting the same vibe I am. Dean opens the glove compartment and pulls out two angel blades.

"Probably not the best idea," he says as he slides a blade over to me.

"Best idea in the moment," I open the door and step out and smile at the group of demons. "What do we owe for this visit?" I give a taunting smile. The kind of smile I remember using in Hell to get what I wanted when I was a demon. Dean notices and looks me up and down.

"Crowley wants your head." one of the two females say.

"Of course he does," I say keeping the taunting smile. But what for? I wondered. "And why is that, again?" I ask.

The demons laugh. A male demon steps forward. "Don't play stupid."

"Hey!" Dean points his blade and the male stops talking. "If anyone calls YN stupid or any other names, I will be sending you back to Crowley in a tiny USPS box."

The demons look at each other. The female who spoke before, well, she walks up to me. I continue to keep my taunting smile  but, from the corner of my eye I see Deans body stiffen up. "All those deals you made as a demon, all those souls that were rightfully Crowley's, have been null and void since you came back. So he's a little pisses and want's your he for it but according to the self righteous dicks they want you for information on a rogue angel you've been in cahoots with."

I loose my smile and look at Dean. I don't care about the deals being voided by whatever, what I do care about is the fact I was working with a rogue angel. Then something clicks in the back of my brain. "Hezekiah," I say under my breath.

"Ahhh yes, that's his name. The same dick that sicked you on that poor hunter chick a while back. Sliced her throat and almost bled her dry. Into a hikers camel back." She smiles wickedly and it sends a shiver down my spine.

"What?" I can barely get my voice out. I can hear Cas's words echo in my head from the day before. Maggie had been found with a throat slashed. In the woods. I look at Dean who is looking at me, there's a realization on his face when he connects the dots too. Sam mustn't know. I look back at the demon licking my lips.

"Prove it," Dean says to the demons. "Prove that it was her if you're so sure that it was her."

The demon laughs and stalks towards Dean. Making  your already on edge body and mind even more on edge. I turn a bit so that I don't loose sight of the other three demons standing with weapons in their hands. "We don't have to prove anything to you," She get's too close for my liking but I don't move. I watch as the demon pulls an angel blade out and draws the tip of it up his arm to his cheek. "Farid," she calls to the male demon who basically called me stupid. "Grab YN, take her Crowley. I might have a little fun with the Winchester."

Having a flashback of that time in the field before I died going through the gates of Heaven. Everything starts to move in slow motion. I turn to see the demon, Farid, run towards me. From the corner of my eye I see Dean spin the female demon around and stab her with her own blade. She lights up and falls to the ground. I focus on the demon charging me and simply side step away and grab his arm and push him on the wall. I drive my blade into the middle of his back and watch as his body lights up. I watch as his body falls to the ground and the blood spills out of his body.

I turn to see the other two demons smoke out, leaving their vessels behind. Dean and I go and check to see if they are alive but, sadly they are not. I sit back and start to breath deeply. I feel that my body is starting to relax and my heart pace quickens. I close my eyes and try to forget what the demon told us. I did not kill Maggie. I wouldn't kill my best friend. I hope to God that I didn't. Sam will never forgive me I did.

I feel Deans hand on mine and I open my eyes. "Hey, you wouldn't kill Maggie. You want to know why I know that? You and her were always joined at the hip, the best of friends." I know Dean is trying to help but it doesn't make me feel any better.

"And if I did?" I ask letting tears fall. I can't stop thinking about it. Something deep inside me was telling me that its true. And if I did, Sam will most likely kill me.

"We will cross that bridge when we come to it," Dean brushes the tears away. Dean helps me up and leads me back to the Impala. "We will have Cas try and search hard for that forgotten memory." I nod and hug my arms around myself and close my eyes.

"We don't tell Sam about this at all," I say and see Dean nod in agreement.

Once we are back at the bunker and are inside, Cas tells us that Sam went out with Jack on a supply run. Which makes everything better. Dean catches Cas up to speed and I head to the room 7B. I stood in the door way as I remember Michael, in Deans body, sitting at the table strapped to wires. I remember that some hours before that he had stabbed me after kidnapping me.

Take a deep breath and walk into the room and grab rope and a chair. I turn to see both Dean and Cas standing in the door way. I hold the rope out and Dean approaches me and takes the rope. I sit in the chair and let him tie me up. One the way back I told Dean he would need to tie me down because for some reason if something were to snap in my head and I went into some robot killer mode, the both of us were protected.

"Okay," Dean steps aside. Cas walks up behind me and places two hands on both sides of head.

"Here goes nothing," Cas says. I feel a wave of energy run through my brain. It hurts like hell but I can't find the will to scream out in pain but, I can't possibly tell him to stop. "There is a wall up but, theres a crack. I might be able to get into it."

"Whatever you have to do," I say through the pain in my brain.

Then, my vision is clouded by a bright light.