#but its fake blood dw

[sugarspikesart]

Sherryyyyyy :3

[tryingtofindava]

── 𝐒𝐁𝐆 𝐆𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐝 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

MORE UNDER THE CUT!!!

: ̗̀➛Back to Source

╰┈➤ 𝐀𝐬𝐡𝐥𝐲𝐧

PENNYWISE & GEORGIE

I feel like she’d be Pennywise (hehe cuz she’s a ginger) and you’d be Georgie!!

Very cute, but also spooky for Halloween :))

╰┈➤ 𝐀𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧

He’s BIG on Halloween, totally understandable.

So obviously he’d been pre planning your matching costumes, and his first idea was to go as phantoms…

He thought this was hilarious, but you guys got the big no from Ash… also totally understandable.

So his next idea was:

THE JOKER & HARLEY QUIN

It’s overused, and his 9th year in a row being the joker…

BUT HES NEVER HAD SOMEONE BE HARLEY TO MATCH WITH HIM SO ITS OKAY!!

╰┈➤ 𝐁𝐞𝐧

LA LA LAND

I’m gonna be so fr when I say this…

But you guys literally just found this idea on Pinterest and thought fuck it.

╰┈➤ 𝐓𝐲𝐥𝐞𝐫

ZOMBIE BASEBALL PLAYER AND CHEERLEADER

He already has a back up kit you guys could poor a horrendous amount of fake blood on, and you just needed to buy a costume.

It was a simple costume idea you guys could cook up, and it was cute together!!

soz guys couldn’t find a pic

╰┈➤ 𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫

DISNEY PRINCESSES

She loved this idea sm!! Is it basic? Yes. But is it fun? YES!!

Dw it wouldn’t just be the simple corset and mini skirt in the couloir palette of the princess.

YOU GUYS WILL BE GOING ALL OUT ON THIS ONE.

She would’ve gotten gowns if she could, but they would be more unique thank just a corset and skirt.

╰┈➤ 𝐋𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐧

SCOTT PILGRIM AND RAMONA FLOWERS

Idk this is just too cute to not put in here y’all

You have no idea how much he gives me the vibes of liking movies like this.

PHEW!! Another late one to my HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR

[midnightwriter21]

demon slayer hcs: how you meet

characters: fem!reader x douma, akaza, sanemi

warnings: language, mention of death, blood, fighting, and attempted sexual assault

DOUMA

douma prefers women

thinks we're ~tasty~

so ur probably out for the night with your girlfriends

havin a lil bit of fun

and unfortunately or fortunately

y'all catch his attention

but he doesn't just swoop in and fuck yall up dw

he's a curious fucker

so he jus watches for a while

mans can watch me for as long as he wants yk what im sayin ;)

anyways

you and your friends run into some trouble

idk what trouble

but trouble

and douma with his bullshit manipulative fake hero complex

waits until the LASTTTTT second

to finally pop in and save you

of course you're terrified of him

he doesn't care

you're going with him

and he's gonna keep you for as long as he wants

hopefully you can keep him entertained ;)

AKAZA

the man i hate to love

rip rengoku :(

similar to douma

except akaza drinks respect women juice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner

so ur out for a night on the town w ur besties

and the trouble you guys run into happens to be group of drunk men

they're aggressive and loud

and even when y'all tell them to fuck off

they dont

they just get rougher

but akaza being the man he is

doesn't let them get the CHANCE to lay a finger on you or your friends

necks broken

spines snapped

and ur just like "wtf jus happened"

def still scared as hell

but he's ur savior

show him ur appreciation *wink wink*

asks if you'll become a demon

if u accept, he'll help you adjust

teach you to fight

if you don't accept

he won't give u any trouble

if he likes u enough he may vow to protect u

love him

SANEMI

idk its jus somethin abt this man

ik he would tear it UP

anyway for him i hc that you would already be a demon slayer yourself

not too highly ranked but you're not a beginner either

you're kinda just eh

but you're on a mission with some other demon slayers

and uh oh

big bad strong demon

sanemi is sent out due to the large amount of casualties

and there you are

with a group of injured slayers to the left of you

and you're holding off the demon

alone

covered in blood

and def terrified

but fighting like hell

when the demon shifts his attention to that group of injured slayers

it shoots toward them and you don't have time to think

throwing urself in front of them and closing ur eyes

bracing for impact

and instead of being shish-kebabed

all you feel is a gust of wind

but then u hear it

"fucking idiot"

yo what

lmfao not what u expected for sure

the demon that was terrorizing u is light work for him

but sanemi was actually impressed that you held out long enough for him to get there

he wont show it but he respects the way you were gonna give your life to protect the injured slayers

he'll cuss you out the whole way back to the butterfly mansion

but maybe he'll offer to train you

sheeshhh ik a way we could train hehe

[paingoes]

Destroyer - Rupture

(Masterlist)

(Content: starvation, captivity, violence mention, trafficking mention, death mention, “gay” as an insult, fear, minor emeto)

=======================

They’d locked him in his room again. Delta was getting the sickest sense of déjà vu. He was glad the tap was still running and that he’d been stashing food, because the first three days they’d forgotten to feed him. Maybe it was understandable. The Thorn had descended into chaos, presumably. Simon didn’t even come see him, probably in a total tizzy over his ever-dwindling job security. Delta had been locked up alone for a week now. When he’d first been thrown in here, he’d still been splattered with Paris’s blood.

He turned the fan on, letting the cold air wash over him. It helped to calm him down. 

The only access he had to the outside world was with the laptop. Everyone online knew. There had been grainy footage posted of the assassination attempt. Everyone thought it was Nezu. In truth, the Thales bloodlust ran deep — and it ran in different directions. There could have been any number of mercenaries who were carrying out their business against the imperial line. But there was no denying that Paris’s death would certainly be convenient for the general.

Paris’s actual condition was uncertain. He wasn’t dead yet, not officially. But Delta had seen the spot where the arrow pierced him. They were probably just keeping him on ice. He could already see how this would play out. Paris would die. The next person to inherit Δ-107 would be Nezu, who had already made his intentions with Delta very clear. He’d put his brain in a jar, if he was feeling merciful. And even if by some miracle he did not end up in Nezu’s court, the odds still weren’t good. If everyone had really found out about the first “escape attempt”, whoever it was would likely kill or maim him. So that was that.

Delta was sick of Empire. Any lingering loyalty he might’ve had to it would die with Paris. This place was a cesspool collapsing in on itself. He felt disgusted and ashamed to have ever been part of it.

There was no one to betray now, no one to punish him, no one to anger and no one to disappoint. He took a deep breath, sorting through the directory once more. There was nothing to lose. He was dead anyway.

ndhakdvsnnd: EMPIREfile2ndQ.zip (574 MB) ndhakdvsnnd: enjoy guys

His laptop almost exploded.

=============

He had to shut the computer down. In part because it was overheating to the point of burning, but in part because the attention scared him. He forced himself to read for a few hours before opening the machine back up. There were thousands of replies to the thread.

chat is this real

FAKE AND GAY

check 92. that would explain all the lights in the sky by scandia.

empire is cooked

We are not doing this shit again 

lol did the hera trafficking conspiracy just get canonized 

I used to work accounting at Empire. this is the same code they used, sooooo 

Nice knowing you OP

Delta reread that last response carefully. He checked his VPN settings, making sure he was still somewhat protected. It was on. He looked briefly through his post history to see if there was anything there that might hint at his identity. But he’d been careful. Before Lemuria, he’d never even acknowledged anything relating to Empire publicly.

His inbox was full. He went through, deleting every single stranger that had messaged him “real?”

There were some people he did recognize, though. A girl he’d been messaging on the programming board was pinging him again. They’d only had a few conversations before, but they tended to run long. She was always nice to him. He trusted her to be cool about it.

katkittykat: whoaaaahhhhh where did u find this :0

katkittykat: u have been practicing ur leet haxx skills !!!!

katkittykat: u set ur proxy up right  ?? theyre gonna try and swat u

katkittykat: dw its a rite of passage :3

ndhakdvsnnd: yes the vpn works. i dont know what that means.

katkittykat: its just an expression 

katkittykat: u should b careful tho im gonna send u smth

ndhakdvsnnd: okay

katkittykat: :P

He clicked the link she’d sent. It was a guide she had clearly made herself, written in the same cheery pink text. It contained instructions for how to finish encrypting the browser and ways to brick anyone who came looking for him. It was a bit above his level, but she must have believed he was capable of it. Besides, he had nothing better to do. It took him the rest of the night to set up. She was still online when he finished.

ndhakdvsnnd: okay i did it

katkittykat: yay!!! are u planning on uploading more

ndhakdvsnnd: i dont know if i will have time

katkittykat: ur not gonna tell me ur source right  ??

ndhakdvsnnd: no

katkittykat: lololol i didnt think so

katkittykat: b safe pls <3

B safe. It was a little late for that. Delta looked through the Empire portal again. It had only been a few hours, but he was happy to see that the leak hadn’t yet been acknowledged. A little flash of fear ran through his mind. He thought about what it would be like when it did eventually get caught. He reminded himself that he was already doomed – and doomed was a binary state. Though logical, it was not a very comforting line of reasoning. He stood up and calmly walked to the bathroom, dry-heaving into the sink. His body knew exactly how to feel about it. It turned itself inside out in protest.

~~~

Tags: @catnykit @indigoviolet311 @snakebites-and-ink @vivulapom @defire @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump @pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump

[gaiuskamilah]

hey lil! glad you're still up, i just had the wildest night...

reference pic from @/xiuxiukong on twitter, ref pic below (blood warning below)

ref pic (its fake dw):

[not-a-big-slay]

Until it doesn't hurt

kaz brekker x fem!reader

summary:betrayal leaves some wounds behind, but even more questions when you can't figured out from whom it really came from.

warnings: violence, cursing

type: fluff

part: 12/13

previous part: part 11 masterlist

a/n: please, please, PLEASEEUHH im SO SO SORRY! it has been almost a FUCKING YEAR SINCE THE LAST CHAPTER?! HELLO?! WHO TF DO I THINK I AM? i need to keep myself in line cuz this aint normal! i have been hiatus for soo long i need to pull it together. anywayy, its finished finally. its long ahh hell and im gonna be working on another part immediately so it wont be another 50 years dw. dont mind any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language and i have written one half of this in 2023, so i really dont feel like redoing it lol. i dare you if you can recognize where exactly i picked this draft up again. anyway, pleasee enjoy!!

also, sike, its not the last part hehe, there will be part 13 AND an epilogue

taglist (hi yall :'))

@chickencouncilrep

@venomsvl

@happy-nico

@twlegit

@ravenmedows

@blathena

‎

She had lost again.

That would be the third time tonight. Her change was getting thin and she predicted it would take one more game before she had to go kill someone for free again. So much for making a ton of money with this job. The girl watched her opponent spoon the coins from the table with one hand, laughing: "One more game and I'll have to dig up another grave, Y/N." Others laughed, so she wasn't the only one thinking that after all. It was logical, she really had to stop playing with grown men, they wasted away their old nights playing poker at this very table and she had other, young people things to do. It would be wise to get up and leave, no one would judge her for that. They would maybe even cheer her on, finally making a rational decision, no one ever seen that before when it came to her. Yet the thought of doing so was being blocked by a high indestructable wall, one that never goes away and will only be built higher.

If she does leave, she has to go home.

Her mother is probably fast asleep already, it is possible she could go to bed unnoticed and leave early in the morning. This option she used very little as Y/N never wanted to come back there. A year ago, after her mother left her blood soak through the wooden floor, Y/N made promise into her scars that she will never lay eyes on mother again. She successed in that for a year so far, becoming a hitman that was quite infamous in town. But her fame started growing from mockery, as she was really addicted to poker.

Her eyes gazed on Tim, the cemetary worker, the buryer as she liked to call him. He was one of the granpas at this table, but one of the peaceful people in town. He never wanted her to kill, just to help him with his work, although Y/N hated it more than the murders, she didn't like the aftermath of her work. Tim, being satisfied, started organizing the coins on the table. No, she cannot go home tonight.

"So what's it gonna be, kid?" asked the other player, Miyka. Her green eyes stared on Y/N's face, her wrinkles scrunched in excitment. Oh, how she hated all of them. The girl faked thinking about it before tossing dramatically her last money onto the table. "I bet 20." It didn't sound as good when she started that low, but it was all she had left. Intstead of the usual giggle and witty lines and jokes they threw her way before following up on her bad choices, they sighed, almost in dissapointment. It frustrated her, it seemed like they cared what she does instead of what amount of money she holds. It seemed like they cared about her. A wave of fear pushed her like a tsunami at this thought. People that cared ended up hating her, hurting her.

"What!" she snapped. Miyka looked at Lios, her brother, in concern, while Tim silently reorganized his coins. She looked around the table, frown getting deeper and frustration blooming wider. What was wrong with them. "Well, Y/N" Lios began, "We are just kinda...worried about you. That's all." Miyka took the word next- her previous question has been an obvious tease, the girl was dissapointed. "You clearly have nowhere to go, so you are spending your time here which is.... we get it, but." She sighed, trying to find the right words. "It's not good." Tim helped her and smiled at Y/N as if it would calm her. It did not in fact, she felt more and more anxious about their care, anxious situations made her angry. She wondered why she didn't kill them all instead of those free targets, she would never have to pay another debt again, because there would be no poker players left to play and her addiction would dissapear. "So that's it, huh? You ain't gonna play because you are scared I could actually win?" she said in her defense. Nonsense, she knew, but her heart was sweating and she was glad it didn't blow up yet. "We just care, Y/N, that-"

"Care?! Remind me Lios of just how many people I killed for you, then talk about caring for someone's life!" she spat as she stood up. Lios was more than content to her way of paying, she had no idea why he apparently cared when he could have another enemy at his feet if he just played one more game. Miyka tried to calm her down, touching her hand softly only for Y/N to flinch, hard. Her vision began to blur, the floor shook beneath her and sweat poured on her face. It was like the room was on fire, but she was the only one feeling it. Other people at the pub, being entertainted by the game or simply just hanging ot there, looked worried, some even disturbed by her behaviour.

What was happening to her?

She leaned on the table with her palms, the wood trying to ground her as she closed her eyes to not feel theirs. Voices of the players echoed her head as sounds in a cave and they felt distant, but still could make her more nervous with their caring attitude. They soon fell in whispers, driving her insane. Then, she caught one voice that silenced all the muttering, it was clear, quiet yet she felt as if its breath was in her ear. "Why play, when you can take a life for the exact amount of money laying on this table?"

She recognized the voice, it belong to the fourth player, Haltt. His voice was known only in the game. Hearing him say a sentence was unusual and therefore very powerful. It was deep, low, hard. It had authority and respect and it didn't need to ask for it. He had everyone's attention, he controlled the room with only his silent voice.

Y/N's eyes looked into his dark ones, she had to find them in the shadows floating around him, as if he commanded to them as well. "What are you saying?" she asked carefully, not knowing why. Haltt observed the table, his salt-and-pepper- although more salt than pepper- short beard surrounding his mouth as it counted the cash, then let out a little chuckle that brought goosebumps to everyone close to him. "920 Neredi. Being a hitman, a respectful hitman, would make this amount your pocket change." He grabbed the rest of her money she threw on the table and looked over to Tim. The buryer shook his head hesitantly, knowing what Haltt wants to do, but all it took was the man's neutral gaze for Tim to fold. Y/N watched him slowly scooping the money and anger took over. She pinned his hand to the table, not looking away from his face. She could hear people drawing breaths in fear, but she was free from all the anxiety now, she was grounded by his scary presence, she liked it even.

Haltt's head slowly turned to her direction, his eyes creating a straight path to hers, his eyebrows climbing up as he said softly: " You want this?" When she didn't respond, he stood up, took her hand off of his gently, not letting go as his freed hand reached behind his back, pulling out a gun. She observed quickly, it was an older model, it was small and only one bullet fit into it- however she knew a man like Haltt would only ever need one bullet- he then rotated her hand and placed it in her palm. He released her only when she seized it. Y/N let her hand warm the handle before looking up at Haltt again. "Then go make it." he finished his statement and sat back down in the shadows. Y/N checked the inside of the gun and she confirmed her knowledge about it.

She scoffed. "One bullet" Haltt nodded as if he answered to her statement. "That's all you need, I know your skills." his glass clincked when his rings touched it, raising it to his lips. She waited until he drank the remainings of his whiskey, having the suspision he might continue. "You kill the target, you'll get double of this." Her surprise was voiced by everyone around her, gasping and unbelievably whispering. Lios looked at Haltt, telling him he cannot do this. But Haltt only looked at her. "No one here wants you to play. You made them care, something a hitman shouldn't do." She squeezed her free hand into a fist, knowing his eyes are reading her like cards on the table. He leaned in: "Take your reputation back, make them fear you instead." he said quietly and it seemed only she heard it. He retreated back into his seat, letting her simmer in his words.

She knew people stopped perceiving her as a threat, a force to be reckon with, a fearful killer, and started to look at her as a 15 year old that sometimes threw tantrums. People smiled at her, old men laughed at her when they drank beer at the bar, as if she was their granddaughter doing silly things. Once, she was feared, but now she behaved like an old woman trapped inside a teenage body with gambling addiction and alcoholism. Everyone treated her as a kid she never was, but Haltt seemed to remember who she was 6 months ago, to trust her potential, her skills she never lost, but used them to not drown in debts, not to her job. She suddenly became so connected to him, she was hypnotized. The sound of the chatty room blurred again as she explored the gray ocean behind Haltt's eyes. He let her, grinning as he watched her back straighten and her nose breathing in deeply. Then came the question:

"Who is the target?"

Halt's smile stabbed through his cheeks as he answered.

-----------------------------------------------

Inej didn't allow herself a break until she got the that exact building Y/N told her to. She was nervous to say the least. If everything goes right, Pekka Rollins will be dead. It was unbelievable to even think about. The moonlight caressed her back and the salty wind danced around her in excitment. Ketterdam is cheering for them, it will be better off without Rollins. She thought of ways how to carve his heart out, she wanted to make a heart-shaped hole, but it was too complicated making the curves, it would take too long and she didn't want him to die before she was finished. She needed something quick, but symbolic. After all, when the stadwatch will find his body, her work should be admired. Or Deln's work, she hated he will take credit for it, but it's definitely for the best.

Soon, the spider heard two sets of footsteps beneath her. She looked down carefully, confirming it's Y/N. In the dark, she couldn't much see her 'friend', but she could feel the disgust and fear Y/N had from above, suspecting he might not be an actual friend after all. Another secret of hers she wished to uncover after this is over. The way Jesper talked about this girl is riling up an interest in her. She wanted to get to know her better, her fate might not much differ from her own and she would like to hear her story, she would like to see why Kaz seemed to hate her so much. She also hoped Y/N will stay with them after this. For Jesper's sake and maybe for Nina's nerves as she looked worried about her.

As Y/N dissapeared into the alley, Inej grabbed her knife, Sankt Petyr, that she sharpened moments before. The wind picked up and she stood motionlessly at the edge of the building. She watched lightened windows in the Smeet Residence, hoping no one will think about looking outside tonight. The house reminded her of one she encountered at the southern colonies of Novyi Zem. It was in a horrible shape compared to this, but it was a haven for the citizens there, they admired it like people in Ketterdam admire The Exchange. It was luxurious given the state of the land.

Her train of thought stopped before it reached a station, because her ears picked up a subtle voice, then a laugh. The sounds got louder as they slowly approached her. Rollins must be pretty nervous of the meet-up if he talked to himself, or he was not alone. A slight panic rose in Inej's chest and she prepared to make the uninvited dissapear. If Rollins truly had some company, she would have to wait until he saw Y/N to take it out, otherwise he might see her and change his mind. If we won't do it, somebody else will brought out fire in her stomach. The girl was right, if they won't try the lovely dessert of revenge, others might eat it whole with no crumbs left. She suspected Pekka is the main character in many unfinished death threats and planned out vengeances.

The Wraith took a deep breath as her eyes closed, slowing down her rapid heartbeat filled with excitment. When she opened them, the bright windows from the residence, along with the dimmed lights on the streets aluminated two beings walking. One was definitely the leader of one of the most dangerous gangs in Ketterdam.

And so was the other one.

She silently gasped, panicking again, her heartbeat picking up. What the fuck is Kaz doing here? And why was he bent over with Rollins' hand around his neck. Even though they were right across her, Inej was oblivious to their conversation- well, monologue if she was more accurate- because she was way too busy feeling the plan fall apart. This wasn't supposed to happen, Kaz was meant to know nothing and then just cheer and celebrate once they'd be done. Why did he always took matters into his hands?.

When she came back to reality, they were almost in the alleyway. The spider quickly followed them, never taking her eyes off of Kaz's helpless form. Her hands always gently grazed any surface she incountered, her feet always landing on the tips of her toes, her moves inspiring every ballerina in Kerch, yet now her hands were sliding off roughly and she had to bent her knees to make the landing silent. Her fear of her friend manipulated her body and she almost fell over the edge when the sharp turn of the building made an appearance, luckily she awokened from the feeling and stopped herself.

She was above the meeting place now.

On her right was Y/N with the strange man. Y/N was anxiously pacing around, obviously worried as they all were, even the man next to her who stood still as a pole was taking almost unseeable shuttered breaths. When the girl faced her direction, Inej wanted to warn her of the unexpected turn of events, but she wouldn't be seen anyway. As it turned out though, she also wouldn't have the time to catch her attention in time as the target slowly showed up on her left side, Kaz still in his grasp. Up close she could see the knife he held to his neck, already cut into the flesh. The man on her right stopped breathing and tried to hide his widened eyes, Rollins smirked as he saw him, shaking his head in disbelief. But the tension really sparked up when Y/N finally saw them, her eyes instantly digging into Kaz, while his were already screaming at her. Only two words bound them all together as they appeared on every present mind.

Oh fuck.

---------------------------------------------

Silence started perhaps being uncomfortable for Deln, yet Y/N only cared about the boy 5 meters in front of her. He wore blood, a lot of blood. His face showed bruises for every Barrel rat and every drop of blood that fell next to his feet tore a piece of her heart. But the worst thing was his expression, it was no longer hateful, nor angry. His eyes sinked into her and they washed her with almost a relief-like feeling, like he was happy to see her, or maybe upset to see her here, in a dangerous street that will be painted red by more than one person. His gaze was soft, almost pleading her to either run away or get closer to him.

He was worried.

"I told you to come alone if my memory is still serving right." Deln began the conversation, dragging both of their attention to him. He earned a chuckle from Rollins and a response as he squeezed Kaz's neck, straightening him up: "Well, I thought I might get the lovebirds back together, eh?" The knife retreated back to his pocket, revealing a red line on the boy's neck. Y/N allowed herself to let one tear roll down her cheek as an apology to him. Pekka must have kidnapped him, because there was no other explanation on why was he present. Deln was confused, he didn't know Dirtyhands as far as she knew, nor about her time with Hertzoon. "Aw, look at 'em, already pining for each other." Rollins mocked and pushed Kaz off of his hand. Y/N had a hard time keeping it together.

Deln sighed annoyingly and the hitman was glad he kept the plan on track. It was hard to admit he was actually a big help to her. "Whatever, let's talk business shall we? It's cold tonight. Don't wanna be out late." he said offered and Rollins laughed in his face again: "What, gotta read the slaves a goodnight story?" If she wasn't still in shock from Kaz, the plan would skip to the killing part very quickly. "Well, not anymore since you took 'em all away, didn't you." the slaver stated and wiped the smile off of Pekka's face quickly. Y/N had to admit he played the role she made for him perfectly and let the conversation rest in his hands, as she continued to worry silently about the bloodied boy.

The Dime Lions' leader seemed to get upset about Deln's forwardness, he probably thought he could talk his way out of it with his disturbing charm. He put his hands on his hips and shrugged. "It ain't my problem you keep 'em in a dirty warehouse. I offered them a room with a comfortable bed and good money if they were willing to smile. That ain't no crime, lad."

"I'm not interested in your architectural opinion on my slave-keeping. I am upset you stole my property." Y/N was very invested in the conversation she almost forgot her role was against Deln. Her tied hands turned him to her side by the shoulder and pierced him with her eyes. "Don't speak of them like that." she warned and he simpy scoffed her off. It wasn't much, she must admit, but it was enough to voice her stand in this matter. "HA! And what do you think you'll be after we're done here? You will be lucky if I allow you to work in my brothel." the last sentence was a warning, he could be so much cruel to her, like he was in his house. She was present finally, all worry stepped aside to make space for the anger she held and the focus she held earlier tonight sat back down on her mind.

"You won't touch her."

Ready to speak, Y/N was taken aback by his raspy voice with scary undertone. He spoke to her like that, not long ago. It was almost unreal he was defending her. As much as it brought shivers down her body, Rollins was unfazed by the threat. "You can barely stand, boy. What can you possibly do to me." he stated the obvious and continued once he looked her way again. "Besides, she really isn't worthy of your protection." He put one foot in front of the other slowly, walking over to her. She was on alert, if she had the opportunity, she wouldn't wait anymore and strangle him with her tired hands and her desire to dig his grave. He stopped few steps from her and reached into his pocket again, pulling out something else than a knife this time. "Lost this?"

A thin, almost not visible in the dark, black string was held between his fingers. The bracelet she lost. The one Kaz gave her on the last day they saw each other. She lost it in Rollins' office. Her temptation to reach for it was unseen by Y/N as her first instinct was to look at Kaz, who also drowned in the vision of the string. She broke her promise, a childish one, sure, but it destroyed her still. It always served as a reminder of her failure. How she failed to warn him and Jordie, how she wrapped his heart around her finger without knowing it and allowed Hertzoon to shatter it. The girl promised herself to not mess up this promise, at least one thing she could keep. In the end, she lost it too.

How does she deserve to live after destroying all good in her life?

"Yeah, cruel isn't she? Do you really think she cares about you, or anyone for that matter?" he talked to Kaz that was still mesmerized by the sight in Rollins' hand. Deln was silently watching the scene, the situation out of his hands now, the plan off of track. "You don't know anything about her, boy-". " You're wrong." she interrupted him. He turned to her, waiting to elaborate, the string still lifted between his fingers as if he was trying to hypnotize them. "I told him everything." Y/N continued as she silently wished with the last bit of hope he would take the bait. He didn't:

"Everything, eh?" he echoed as he turned his back on her and focused on Kaz fully. As he reached his personal space, his hand streched to him, giving him the bracelet. The boy fixated on it, swaying with the wind due to his trouble standing on the one good leg for this long. Rollins watched him closely, feeling Kaz's hand taking it almost immediately. When his coffee-like eyes reached his snake ones, Pekka uncovered Y/N's lie:

"Do you remember Ms. Hertzoon?"

---------------------------------------------------------

"...You what?"

"Don't you dare be offended, you manipulated her and then left us. You're as bad as I am."

That made them punch her strongly in the stomach. Funny, Rollins wanted to watch her suffer, but was too lazy to torture her himself. They were on this for 2 hours now, or she at least thought so, she couldn't tell if the ringing was only in her ears. Rollins had her sit on a chair and then asked questions. The first were stupid and simple, almost like a small talk: Did she rob him, why is she back, when did she get back, etc. She earned 5 different punches in this round. Then the latter began. They wanted to know what happened after the con trick- as he called it- which resulted in her split lip and first blood drawn. Then another small talk, remembering all their time together and then, the truth. "Where is your mother?" it began and ended in countless of other painful things she couldn't be bothered to remember.

"How." he almost whispered, it was so dramatic that Y/N would laugh if she wasn't wheezing with every breath. "Oh, please. Like you care." she fully expected the hit for that one, though it still hurt like hell. "How!" he ordered her and watched her grow a grin with her painted-red mouth. She could still feel the little gun in her little hand, standing at the foot of her mother's bed. She watched her sleep for a moment before she truly aimed. Haltt was right, it did get back her reputation. He gave her the money and she counted every single coin to make sure it really was doubled. Fortunately, he was an honest man.

"One bullet was all it took."

To say she regretted it would be a lie, the biggest one in history maybe. She second-guessed it on her way home, sure, but she more doubted Haltt's promise than her actions. However, once she really saw her mother's chest rise and fall, nothing was easier than to pull the trigger. If she was a monster in her eyes, she would become one in her memory.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" was the last thing she heard from him, then her ears were filled with ringing and also pain when her nerves couldn't take it anymore. Everything went dark after a while, she was sure she couldn't breath and her eyes zipped themselves tightly, but even though she lost consciousness, she was sure she never stopped smiling while it lasted.

-----------------------------------------------

He always suspected some part of her story was left out, it would be unwise to tell him everything and she was not stupid. While Kaz did predict that something happened with the mother, he didn't expect this. He answered her eyes as they asked for connection and tried to assure them of his unchanged opinion. So what? He also done horrible things, they all have, especially Rollins. Such a hypocrite, that man. When he finished re-telling the story of Y/N's torture, he retreated from the boy's space, fortunately for him, because Kaz would have no hesitation in twisting Pekka's neck. Everything was silent for a while, the wind whispered cold around them as they all studied each other. Kaz looked at the building's roof next to them, seeing only darkness, but feeling her presence. He hoped that whatever Y/N planned to do with Inej would be useful. And what did he know, maybe this situation is going extremely well for them.

"Well, that is truly shocking, but unfortunetely, Y/N's dead mom won't solve this conflict. So let's solve it ourselves, shall we?" The slaver spoke and grabbed the girl next to him by the bicep, dragging her with him closer to Rollins. Kaz took a small, unnecessary step forward as a move to help her. Seeing Deln's hand on her made the water rise around him, he could feel her discomfort and felt it himself. They stopped and he threw the girl in front of him lightly, so she wouldn't fall, but aggressively enough, so she would sway. "Pay me for the slaves and she's yours, as promised." the boy's fist turned white at that, wishing he could hang Deln's organs at the lamppost. "Hmmm" groaned Rollins in thinking. "How much do ya want?"

"3000 kruge."

"Pardon?"

Deln rolled his eyes. "It was 100 slaves you stole from me, every slave is expensive and believe me, I'm giving you a discount right now." Rollins nodded at his explanation. At this point, Kaz thought about getting out of there. He was being ignored and would be forgotten in a while. Rollins couldn't see him, Deln could, but he doubted he would care. However, she could too, and his heart radiated an unfamiliar feeling at the thought of dissapearing without Y/N. If this situation happened with anyone else, he'd be already at the Slat, drinking shots and drowning in silence of his room. Dirtyhands planned the escape, Kaz refused to go through with it. He refused to leave her. "Alright, alright. How about this." Rollins spoke his thoughts. "I'll give you half of what they make me from now on and if you ever wander in the Sweet Shop, you won't have to pay." Deln was silent, but he was clearly concidering it.

"Huh? Sounds good?" Smiling Pekka streched out his hand and waited for a handshake. Every set of eyes watched Deln's movement, from his step closer, closer to Rollins, closer to Y/N, until he squeezed Pekka's hand, reflecting his expression. "That's a deal, then." said the robber. "Deal." said the slaver. Kaz didn't know what that meant and from the girl's face, he could tell the confusion was shared. Although, he truly realized this wasn't part of their plan after Deln quickly reached for Y/N's belt with the same hand that just closed a deal, pulling out a small gun, one that could barely fit a bullet, and aiming it at the hitman. She was frightened, taking steps back, but she didn't got very far when Deln grabbed her by the collar, holding her close to his body.

"Like mother like daughter."

He was instantly on the move, as fast as he could, trying to prevent what was about to happen. The bullet was faster though. Before hearing the gunshot, they heard Deln's scream. Y/N felt to the ground and Kaz was at her side immediately. His eyes panicking, trying to find the wound while his heart sounded the alarms and awakened fear. Not like this. He couldn't lose her like this. He soon found the gunshot and without thinking threw his hands to press it down. They never made contact with it, Rollins' knife already found its way back to his neck, pulling him away from her. "You didn't think I forgot about you, did ya?" he laughed in his ear before Kaz threw his head back, hitting him in the nose. The grip got loose and he turned around, sending his anger and frustration in his fist. Rollins tumbled and he kicked him on the ground, getting him closer to the place he belongs.

Deln moaned in pain and the boy finally saw the reason. Below his bent over form, a puddle of blood formed and in it swam his thumb, right above Sankt Petyr. The corners of his mouth lifted a bit, he couldn't remember how did he survive all this time without Inej watching over him and the crows, it made him grateful she is back for now. His eyes were set to find Y/N again, but he only saw a red trace from where she laid. She must've gotten away. Good girl.

He couldn't follow her steps, because Rollins already got up from the cobblestones, ready to strike. He breathed heavily, supporting the place Kaz kicked him in with his hand. He couldn't understand why Rollins always came back into his life. He tried to avoid him all his time in Ketterdam, yet life always brought them together. Or death, he wasn't sure, maybe they were destined to destroy each other. Pekka Rollins was like a mosquito bite: itching to be noticed and when Kaz does so, he feels a brief satisfaction before the itch comes back and is worse than before. He was also as annoying. It needed to be finished right here and tonight

The boy braced himself and waited on the mosquito's move, straightening himself. Little did he know, the shadow from above already closed in on the man. Kaz watched as she kicked his knee from the back and caught his hair, stopping him from falling fully on the ground again. Sankta Lizabeta could be soon visible above his heart, the tip waiting to be pushed in. Only then, Dirtyhands quietly sighed in relief.

"He still can't do it without ya, huh? Tell me boy, when will you start being a man and do things on your own?" Rollins mocked them as he recognized the face, which currently held the future of his heartbeat. Kaz limped slowly closer, feeling Inej's eyes on him. He lowered his head once he entered Pekka's personal space dangerously deep. "When my brother will get his revenge in hell."

As soon as the menacing words reached Rollins, his lips twitched up at the sight of Sankta Lizabeta slowly painting an imaginery outline of the man's heart, being applauded by his blood-curling scream. Inej wasn't the one for torture, but he could see the bit of joy in her eyes and the relief on her face. She deserved to be the one that would free Ketterdam from this parasite and he let her have it, already searching for the bloody trail Y/N left behind.

His eyes alerted him when they caught it and he began to follow the path, slowly, limping as Deln's whines cheered him on.

------------------------------------------------------

The stars were with her, sometimes changing their position or widening in her eyes as they waited to claim her. Salty waterdrops tapped her tired legs, reminding her of where she sat. She imagined death many times, it wasn't unusual for someone in her profession. She remembered Tim talking about the peace that comes with it, saying it is kind, so it would be easier for the soul to leave the body. For her, it was obvious. Everything would be kinder than life. However, nothing could prepare her for the last moments. Y/N realized that no matter how much you imagine it, it will always surprise you. The knowing that this is the last time she is going to exist in wasn't something her brain could comprehend. Maybe that was the mystery death held, that was the fuel for the fear in others, not understanding until it was too late.

Wind played softly with her hair while it kissed the bruises of her now untied hands, and she tried hard to feel everything at the same time. The clothes touching her skin, the numbness in her feet, her shaky breath as it entered and left her system, but mostly, she tried to memorize the pain in her stomache and the bullet inside her body. It was an intense feeling, so she wanted to feel it as much as possible, before it would fade and with it her heart.

The hitman got hit.

This is how her victims probably felt. She brought this feeling to numerous lives. Her mother felt this way too. Y/N couldn't decide if dying felt good or disgusting, but she could be certain it was lonely. Even if people surrounded her, it wouldn't be better. It was an experience for her soul, no one from the outside could empathize.

She wondered where her grave would lay as the slow footsteps got closer. Y/N heard him limp next to her and it seemed like the stars noticed him too, because they stopped moving once he sat down, as though they only wanted to be seen by her. He was visibly tired, still bleeding from his neck.

Maybe he was feeling the final presence too.

Maybe her starts would take them both.

Silence and the waves crashing made the space between them comfortable, maybe too comfortable for her liking. His breath was disrupting hers as it naturally tried to match the rhythm. The moment became so peaceful, she almost forgot about their history. It felt like nothing happened between them, they were just kids, sitting by the port, watching stars and listening to the ocean. They weren't Dirtyhands and Saskia. They weren't the Bastard of the Barell and Snowflake.

They were Y/N and Kaz. As they were always meant to be.

"Do you believe in faith?"

It felt like yesterday since he asked her that question. Every shared memory of them felt so close to her now, as if time was all messed up. Maybe death was already doing its job. Kaz was taking his time with the answer, breathing heavily, as if the air had to fill his words first before she could hear them.

"Yes...I do."

He exhaled, his low empty voice responding. Her lips lifted into a messy smile, her muscles were losing their power all over her body, but that didn't stop her from reaching into her coat and pulling out a folded, bloodied paper that her fingers swiftly grabbed from her slaver's back pocket before he could shoot her. It was almost bizzare, how a small, easily rippable piece made her revisit the demons of the past. She wondered if Deln wanted this all along. Maybe he wanted Rollins to kill her, so he could make his deal with him. Or maybe it was just faith, wanting to see how far she would go for a false sense of freedom.

"It doesn't mean anything." Y/N stated as she felt Kaz looking at the release paper. "I just needed proof that I'm not under anyone's influence anymore, but..." her eyes followed the ongoing waves. They looked like on a leash, as if someone released them, so they could explode onto the harbor's walls, only to pull them back again shortly after, reminding them they were still being controlled. It seemed torturous, humiliating. It looked like her. "...I will never be free of him."

Y/N couldn't look at the boy, even if his burning gaze could only be extinguished by an eye contact. He was right, she was a monster. She could see it now and she wouldn't hide from this fact. She would accept herself before her heart would stop singing. It was the least she could do with the very limited time, coming to terms with her own self.

The stars started moving again slowly as Kaz spoke: "He can't control you anymore..." His tone showed certainty. Inej had to claim her souvenir of revenge by now, but he still managed to squeeze out a scoff from the hitman. She couldn't believe he allowed himself to be so naïve. Rainbow won't repair the damage done by storm, same as killing Pekka Rollins won't erase his actions and the following conciquences. His influence made her do things beyond his leadership. It scarred her for life, and those scars bled onto others without the possibility to heal. She bled on him too. She killed his brother for fuck's sake.

"The things he caused precedes him." Y/N finally looked at Kaz, his eyes seemed to be glowing in her hallucinating mind. "I can't be changed." She whispered, knowing he would hear every single letter. The moon illuminated him perfectly. His features casted a soft look under its light and Y/N was glad this would be the appearence of him she would take to her grave. She was happy to become one of the stars that would continue to shine on him.

Suddenly, death seemed very pretty.

The girl saw his hand on hers before she could feel it. It was weirdly warm, even though he barely touched her. His eyes demanded her ears' attention as he spoke, slowly, so she could feel the words. "You don't need to be changed."

Her mind was confused. How could he even speak such things?

"I am a killer." she reminded him.

"Not by choice." he argued.

"I killed my own mother and enjoyed it." she was restless in making him hate her.

"Your mother's conciquences of her own actions." he dodged her attempt.

"I killed your brother." was when she knew she would win. It wasn't excusable. Nothing could possibly erase this from Kaz's mind, no apology was enough, she was certain. That was the reason she couldn't understand why Kaz's hand began to hold hers more tightly as his eyes studied the wound in her stomache, covered by her arm that desperately tried to prevent the blood from pouring out, but it became more and more hopeless. "You're dying and not doing anything about it." he aknowleged. Y/N smiled briefly, from pain and also from his slow understanding of her plan.

"I deserve it." she spoke weakly, every word felt heavy on her tongue and she was about to give in to their weight. He only observed her, as her body was slowly losing the ability to move, as her energy was being sipped by the waves below. It suddenly felt a bit scary for her, she was in the process of dying and it strangely ignited the last bit of her will to live.

Kaz did nothing, he only asked: "Why?" She looked at him, her eyes shooting fear. She guessed she would engage with every emotion before turning off. Maybe the nature granted this privilege to every person, so they would get to have the proper goodbye to their body.

"I never done anything good, I only brought pain." her lips responded, making Kaz nod slowly. Y/N gasped softly as the fear intensified. This feeling was unlike any before, like her life was slowly slipping through her body, through the wound. Her arm pressed tightly, as much as she could to slow down the inevitable, but it was too late. "Maybe it's time to change that." Kaz spoke. She wouldn't be able to change her ways if she died, the only thing she would remember about this life was how she made it difficult for everyone else.

Y/N sighed, death was almost touching her, heart was losing its music. She no longer felt the waterdrops on her legs and the stars dimmed their light. "It's too late."

The port beneath her began to sway, as if it would tip over to the ocean anytime. She gripped the concrete edge, slipping her hand from Kaz's to do so, trying to stop it from moving, only for it to sway more. She picked her eyes up at the sky, seeing only her five stars in the black treacle sky, as her body pushed closer to the waves.

Death awaited her.

Like those waves, Y/N was suddenly pulled back by someone's hands, feeling her body lift up from the port, supported in the air. Her form bounced with every other step and another warm breath kept mixing with hers. She imagined those arms were of an angel, bringing her to heaven. Or a devil, bringing her to hell. She gave into its touch nonetheless.

"I know you're not very good at keeping them, but would you promise me one last thing?" a voice asked her, a low and a tired one. One that could only belong to an angel the way it kept her dying heart beating. The girl could only hum, agreeing to the angel's request. The voice sounded serious, threatening almost, but she could hear the worry hidden behind it, as it spoke.

"Don't make me lose you."

---------------------------------------------------

Nina whined, having trouble with breathing as her hands shook from the need to be put down. She saved the Dregs numerous times from a certain death, yet Y/N exceeded her expectations. The heartender tried her very best to wake her heart up, while Jesper and Wylan panicked to pull out the bullet and seize the wound, so no more blood would be lost. What wasn't helpful, though, was Brekker, constantly yelling at them for trying harder. She understood that his anger was powered by the fear for that girl, but that didn't put out the urge to fill his face with more wounds, maybe a broken nose even.

"I swear, Nina. If she dies.." he exclaimed again, not helping the situation in any way.

"It will be on you!" Nina barked at him, frustration clearly visible not only on her tone, but her tired features. Her eyes shot to Jesper and Wylan an apologizing look as she saw their hands bloodied and faces worried. The door swinged open behind her, revealing Inej. Nina felt relief wash over her as she saw her. Kaz would maybe stop being such an asshole in her presence.

"Is she breathing?" Inej asked and immediately moved to Y/N's lying form, putting her cheek above her nose. "Barely." Wylan answered stressfully. Kaz's worry shifted to fear, Nina could sense that, even when her full focus was on the hitman's weak heart. She was barely alive, but the heartender was still surprised it could beat. She was strong and Nina hoped she would continue to fight.

Jesper gasped heavily and looked at her. "The wound's sealed!" he sounded so hopeful and it brought Nina some strenght to see him like this. She had to take quick breaths before tightening her hands in the air one more time, fastening Y/N's heartbeat. Fortunetely, it worked. "She's breathing again!" Inej said with a small smile, causing Kaz to limp closer to see for himself. His own wounds weren't yet treated, but Nina didn't even try to convince him. He had trouble looking after himself when one of them was hurt, she could imagine how much worse it was in this case, where his heartbeat's fire was on the brink of death.

She could feel the heartbeat pick up to a slow pace. It wasn't yet normal, but at least she didn't have to control it now. Nina put her hands down and fell down on an armchair beside her. Everyone in the room fell victims to exhaustion, Nina closed her eyes for a moment, just focusing on her breathing. Wylan was the first to stand up and slowly make his way out of the room with the words she'll be alright, Nina, you did a great job. Jesper followed, squeezing Nina's shoulder and nodding shortly at Kaz, before the door closed after him too.

"You either let me treat your wounds or you will go and get some sleep." she offered to the man, her eyes fixated on Y/N. She was glad he, at least, wrapped his neck in a bandage during this hard time, but he had other quite serious wounds she had to treat sooner or later. Kaz allowed himself to be predictable as he stared at the hitman and then slowly limped out of the room. Before he did though, he surprised her after all.

"Thank you."

Nina's head snapped his way and watched him leave, she didn't expect that. Inej sat next to her on the armrest, following her eyes to the laying girl. "You should rest as well, I know how tired you are." the heartender studied her features with a caring look. Her friend fought the sleep well so far, which she hated to see. "I'm not leaving you alone." the spider said with a decisive eyes connecting with hers. She knew the heartender couldn't sleep herself, as she had to look out for Y/N's heart. Nina flashed a defeated smile. She was grateful for her presence, she missed her a lot, but it would ease her mind if she went to sleep. However, knowing her stubborn mind, she scooted over to the very side, creating a tiny space for Inej to sit, which her friend accepted with a smile.

"Alright then. Tell me how you killed Rollins and DON'T spare any details."

------------------------------------------------

[ghostiiess]

[NSB HEADCANONS] - watching scary animes with kane

pov: title says it all!

warnings: scary animes, mention of blood, kane call you a good girl (not in a 18+ way lol)… i think that’s all? Let me know if there’s more!

type: fluff (but there’s a bit of comfort too if you’re the kind of person to be scared of horror)

member: kane ratan

REBLOGS AND LIKES ARE VERY APPRECIATED!

So as we all know, kane loves animes

He recently made you watch a lot of animes and let’s say you became a fan

A big fan, actually..

(More under the cut!)

It was a ‘tradition’ : every saturday you would watch at least one episode of your favorite anime

You would sit by the couch (on in the bed), cuddling with each other while eating your favorite snacks

That way, watching animes at the end of the week felt like a reward after studying for so much time

Usually, at Halloween, you would have watched an anime series, not really minding if it was Halloween themed or not

But this year, since you both wanted to do things a bit differently, you both decided that you would watch scary animes

I can’t lie saying that idk if Kane loves horror or not. I tried to watch as much videos as possible and doing researches, but i can’t find if he likes it or not 😭

So I’ll do both: if he was scared or if he wasn’t, so we can have both sides

You get what i mean?

Let’s start if Kane was scared while you weren’t!! 🤪

So…

it was Saturday and you decided to watch this horror anime you’ve been wanting to watch

« Babe, are you sure you really want to watch this? We can continue our anime series we’ve been watching, you know…? »

« me? Scared? I’m not scared! I was just asking! I totally do not mind if we watch this horror anime! »

He would be the type to say « I’m not scared! » then do 34 jumpscares after it

This man would never says he’s scared

Unless it’s like very very very very very very very scary, and even with that, idek if he would say it

He would be like “this make y/n’s happy! I can deal with that!”

He would be really close to you

And whisper « hey, are you scared? »

And then you would say no

But then, he would ne like « okay, alright, me too, i am definitely not scared in any ways! »

But if you do are scared, he would try to comfort you in any way he can

« Hey, I’m here, it’s okay… »

« Me? Scared? No, i told you that i wasn’t scared, why would i-OMG!!! WHY IS THE DOLL SO CLOSE TO THE SCREEN?!!! »

He would try his hardest to act like he isn’t scared too

But what if Kane wasn’t scared of horror movies and it was YOU who were scared of them?

Omg, he’d be the cutie patootie

Like he would either make fun of you or comfort you (and still make fun of you)

Not make fun like « omg ur such a loser bc ur scared, ur so dumb » no.

Making fun like « that’s not even scary omg, c’mon!! It’s not even that bad, babe! »

All for teasing, obvs.

But if you’re reeaaaalllyyyy scared, he would be next to you all along the movie, he wouldn’t leave you one sec

He would also hold your hand

“Hey, I’m here, baby. Nothing’s real. It’s all fake!” (Also, if its based on a real story, he wouldn’t tell you)

“Hey do you want us to stop watching it? Could it help you?”

He would also say at the end of the movie (btw, he would not be mad or upset if you ask him to turn off the movie if its too much for you… like this man would not hesitate any seconds to stop the movie just to make you feel more secured) that you did so well and that he’s proud of you for trying new stuff and doing this with him

« I’m so proud of you, y/n! »

« You did so well, baby! »

« Look at you watching horror with me… such a good girl! » (not in a 18+ way dw)

Watching horror movies with kane would be fun ngl

I, myself, do not really like horror that much, but im sure that with him, it would be fun!

Btw if kane see this (prob wont), can u tell us if u like horror or not, bc i am really curious 👀 thank you

Do not know how to end this headcanon, but hope you guys enjoyed!!

Taglist! (Open! Send an ask if you’d like to be in it!) : @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0 @yawnzzznnn @ghostyycat7

Bold can’t be tagged.

[gummy-axolotl]

hey this might sound weird but im currently writing a story that heavily involves talking about the experience of being aroace. i js wanna be as accurate and inclusive as possible so if you could share some thoughts or experiences you think should be included that would be literally incredible

thanks! <3

Sure! I don't know how useful it will be since it's kinda complicated and very random, but I'll tell you my journey.

I'm going to be as honest as I can so it might be a little weird and personal.

Also it's pretty long so I'm gonna put a cut.

Currently I identify as Aceflux, Aegosexual, and flat-out Asexual. I've used a few other microlables and stuff over the years, but this is what I've settled with.

I first heard about asexuality when I was thirteen, in my "baby gay phase," when I was looking into all the cool stuff about the lgbtq community. I didn't really think it applied to me at the time, because I was hyperfixating over the Hazbin Hotel pilot (and therefore obsessed with sex jokes)

Later, when I was about fourteen, I thought, "hey. maybe I am ace after all, since I don't actually want to have sex with anybody." So I started identifying as Panromantic Asexual.

After a while, I was thinking about crushes, and looking back, I wasn't really interested in dating any of them. I had plenty of "crushes" on people, but they never went anywhere, and I realized they were most likely squishes or just infatuation. So I started identifying as graypanromantic and asexual

There were a lot of times like that, where I would switch around, from grayromantic to aromantic to this that and the next, but eventually I settled on aroace. I also for a while called myself "Oriented aroace, with sapphic orientation" meaning that I was more platonically and aesthetically inclined to girls.

and here comes the aceflux part...

A few months ago, I had an (admittedly unhealthy) "relationship" online, and I questioned my sexuality again. I won't get in to the details, but it kinda messed with my head a bit, and made me wonder if I was actually asexual, or if I was... faking it. I suppose.

(but heeyyyyy its over now dw about it haha)

Final note, I don't consider any "sexual attraction," felt towards not actual real life people to be real sexual attraction. (or romantic) So simping for a tumblr sexyman doesn't mean you aren't asexual. Because you don't want to have sex with a real human being person in the flesh and blood.

wow this is a really long post and I don't think it will actually be that helpful to whatever you're writing but um.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Things can change over time, and other people don't dictate what you call yourself. Just do what feels right. Learn along the way.

[fandomregression]

chrissy paci chrissy paci chrissy paci chrissy paci chrissy paci chrissy paci

[kraviolis]

ive really taken a liking to doing sfx makeup its a very fun hobby

[seth-burroughs]

czynś czecia: (last one!!)

nice submarine dude ok now how tell me exactly on a scale from 1-10 how stuffy is the air in there. and how much does it cost you yearly to maintain that shit. and can it even do the swim.

holy shit its the gang!!!! fubuki and halara and the other two!!!

lets see if im still gonna hate vivia just as much as i did when i first watched it... i feel like now that i have been through dazai bsd i can get through anything. vivia is nothing compared to dazai bsd.

they do not fucking care lmao

i missed halara's og voice...... though i'm not sure whether i prefer the english or the japanese one.......they sound. Very different.

halara x seth x swank where they bond over money

both of desuhiko's va on the other hand sound veryyy similiar

i love how yakou is just. Silently listening the entire time Desuhiko, Fubuki and Halara engage in acts of considerable tomfoolery

you and me both Fubuki. you and me both

every single person (and especially the youtubers) who were so fucking mean to Fubuki for some reason (we know what it is) should apologize right now while they still have the chance

halara should have overthrown yakou by like, the second chapter tbh. i don't even think he'd even put up that much of a fight

we can take him.

oh yeah i forgot about vivia's "i wanna die someday" bit. dw that can be arranged

i wonder what was desuhiko's personal "train massacre moment" that we talked about earlier, especially since it looks like he at the same time both 1) doesn't do well with blood and murder and the like and 2) the "everyone on the train died beside you? that sucks. had i been on the amaterasu express i wouldve solved it before anything had gone down. damn, missed the chance to show off my superstar self." line which im pretty sure he wouldn't have ever said if he actually saw a corpse on his trip. personally i think that at least he solved the murder plot on his route before anything had the chance to go down. but because there were supposed to be multiple mds on all of the routes as far as i remember, i also like to think both he and Fubuki were there together. just the two of them

me too shinigami

would it be controversial of me to say that i don't really care for the agency. at least as a group (halara and fubuki are fine). my soul has been sold to shinigami, kurumi, amaterasu corp and fake zilch and maybe its also the yomi brain that makes me see them all as an annoying pest infestation instead of the actual mcs lmao

wait speaking of the wdo. how did yakou manage to get that fucking phone that could reach outside kw and not be spied on. hw did he. how did he get it

you and me both Fubuki. you and me both

"uh, i think you're just forgetful" yakou that is not normal. yakou if you think that's normal then i think we should have both of you checked maybe

oh wait halara and desuhiko were the ones who arrived early..... now im just thinking that halara was the one to solve the Evil Plot on their route on their own and desuhiko was taking all the credit the whole time

shinigami <3

the wdo is probably not the only organization hiring people with these powers, or "forensic fortes" in their case (that they help hone, they aren't born with these specific abilities but just exhibit signs). there is probably like, a military or scientific market for those too, and if the wdo are the only ones in the world with the permit to do all that then theres bound to be some illegal shit going on in secret in other groups. but like, these powers/"paranormal dispositions" explicitly aren't exclusive to the wdo. we don't even know how common they actually may be and if most people who have them are even aware they're not just normal. anyway

everyone keeps calling yakou old but he looks so young.

oh god i forgot the skank bit with fubuki and shinigami too. help me survive this

no1 double videochat time

old man time. why does he have the homesfuck sharpie bath complexion. why is everyone in this game either white or gray except for dominic but not really he's also really gray . i would blame this on the lack of sunlight and shit but this is not just a kanai ward resident thing. yes i know this is probably like an aesthetic choice i don't care shut up now

just sitting there listening to all of this.. nobody tell them

ah yeah the creed

"is that true master" "i don't remember at all" fgsdfgdsgssdfhakejsfaysjkhg.

and the pose... that double had a blast pretending to be number one back then

you and me both Fubuki. you and me both

never not gonna laugh at yuma's prey animal stare. mouseboy

oh i forgot yuma just started fucking writing poetry at the start/end of the chapte- YAKOU READING THE NOTE SPOTTED!!!!!!!! THE. THE NOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i forgot hellectro duo appear that early on at that point and started choking on my own tongue. this is not an exaggeration. help me survive this and go back to the tab............... good lird.......

when :DDDD police brutality <33333

i might need time to recover spiritually .

KURUMI SPOTTED

MAKOTO SPOTTED??? THAT EARLY?????

The. Oh god the fucking restricted area i forgot they were just showed in the prologue sjdgfdsjdgdsj. they were right there.... and we all collectively forgot about it. if you say that you remembered this scene then you are a nasty liar. you forgor. accept it already

Finally the intro lets go!!!!!

goddamn it i got yomi jumpscared again. stop doing this to me you know this is bad for my tortured stress organs goddamn it (do not be worried about me once i get to chapter 1 ending............)

aaaaaaand that is all for the prologue :3333333 we have got through it!!!! at last!!!!!

continuation of my mdarc rewatch but from the ch0 ending and onwards instead because it was stressing me out too much. blissfully ignoring fzilch's entire existence anyway here comes yakou-

once again im so glad im watching this in jp dub again because i don't think i could survive if eng yakou opened his mouth and i just heard fuckinbg. dubbing dazai.

can someone tell my goddamn muscles to stOP tensing up whenever rejn kołd kanaj łard mentioned . getting the twitches again >:(

yuma peril we love to see it. also i will never stop making fun of his stupid fucking phallus haircut

i don't remember if ive said this before but japanese shinigami >>>>>>>>> english shinigami

i spot a faint trace of a seth thumbnail in the corner and start blushing and kicking my feet uncontrollably. imagining him getting his limbs ripped off

good fucking lord. oh my fucking god. jesus christ, motherfucker. my first statement aged like fucking milk i cannot take this anymore jp dub yakou has the same voice as jp dub nikolai bsd fuck my stupid baka life why do i bother. what the fuck.

huh. maybe the yomiakou mfs were onto something after all. his swagless demeanor just now has charmed me significantly.

i like how in the game his description lists his ability as "a flair for negotiation", makes him negotiate exactly once during his introduction and then he never does it again

i am not giggling at yakou furio rain code. leave me alone. i am not. IM NOT. GO AWAY. I CANNOT CONTROL MY VOICEBOX JACKASS..

"he managed to turn away the peacekeepers, so he must be in high standing" hahahaha. hahahaha. no sorry yuma i think thats just pretty privilege on his part. once again shinigami ends up being 100% correct somehow

aaaah i still really like yuma's jpn voice especially when he's stressed or screaming. makes me want to throw him down the stairs

its so pretty in here why would anyone want to leave anyway lol. when all the remaining nations explode each other kanai ward will be the only city still standing and we will flourish and thrive. also in the station(?) theres a poster with a rainbow on it so obviously its gay paradise too what more do yall fucking want

detectivephobia mention counter: 1

thats all for today i fear op is not strong enough for rhis shit,

[wolftattoo]

did a tester menhera makeup last night and im actually in love w white eyelashes

[b4r3-ur-f4ngz]

Vivisy stood at the center of the stage.

He had spent the last hour preparing for this show, he always spent a long time getting ready. This wasn’t including actually setting up for the show itself, this was mental preparation. Getting into the mindset of a performer wasn’t hard for him- it never was. Though that doesn’t mean it didn’t need preparation regardless.

People were already milling in while he was testing mics for the last time, making sure the vocalizers were functioning, excited butterflies filling his stomach- they always did. His bandmates worked around him, chatting between eachother and sharing lighthearted laughs and jokes. When the clock ticked over to five minutes before it began Vivisy hopped on the balls of his feet, exhaling and shaking out any anxieties he could have. He rolled his shoulders, he cleared his throat, he patted himself down.

The past hour went by fast, he had eyes burning into him and scarring his flesh with their imprints, it was thrilling. It was show time. He rolled his head once last time before he stepped back off stage momentarily and slung his guitar over his shoulder. It was a heavy piece of shit, but it was his heavy piece of shit. He checked with a yellowblood poised at a synth if everything was okay one last time, his question just above a whisper. He nodded shortly, his thousand yard stare going straight through the mutant. There was always something that could go wrong, but Vivisy’s hips swayed while he stepped up to the mic, a hand delicately draping over it and he audibly inhaled to speak before the lights went out.

The lights remained off before a set of hot pink lasers dipped over the crowd, bathing the audience in light and giving the band a silhouette. A set of green lasers joining in and illuminating the band somewhat. The venue was just a nightclub, so it wasn’t anything too insane. Just as the lights came on they were off, and a lone bass chord rung out through the venue, drumming out a few alternating lines before it *dived* straight into the song. The percussionist belted out a few lines before Vivisy took over, his voice ringing out as he snatched the microphone off the stand, leaning down off the stage and getting into the faces with the crowd as much as possible as he sang. Accusatory fingers pointing at random crowd members, all of his movements calculated yet having the presence of being jerky, snapping his teeth in a predatory smile when the vocals were taken over by one of his bandmates. 

It was aggressive, but artistic in a way. He made it a point to make every audience member feel singled out in a way, Vivisy gripped his guitar in a way that made it seem like his life depended on it. None of the instruments sounded right, they all sounded like they were put through some sort of nightcore generator. It seemed like their sound was being changed as they were playing, their soundguy in the back clearly putting their individual tracks through the gutter. At some point flames started to crawl up sheets of plastic behind them that had their band name shoddily painted on it, melting and dripping down onto the ground behind the band as they borderline abused their instruments.

At some point it seemed to calm down and resemble pop rock more closely, however it picked back up straight back into the brain-melting sound they had before. Screaming borderline into microphones and cranking the bass so hard that it made the ground shake and drinks fall off of tables. One of the amps even began to smoke a little bit from the strain (granted most of their hardware was outdated and barely functioning as is) before all of the lazers and lights shut off again- nothing but silence for at most two minutes, something similar to a heart monitor beeping as one of the lasers came back on to mimic a heart monitor on the wall where the plastic once was, then all of a sudden a singular spotlight remained on Vivisy. His tripp pants were gone, replaced by a stained pair of red pants with a hole torn down the side on the right leg that exposed fishnets underneath. His arm wraps gone and replaced with rows and rows of spiked bracelets. The heart monitor flatlined and he lifted up his arms, his hip cocked to the side as fake blood dripped down from under his shirt, bringing his arms back down and holding the mic into its stand while he sung a song that sounded akin to an anthem of death, his other hand coming up covered in blood and smearing his makeup across his face with fake blood, intense eyes staring out into the crowd as he turned around and rocked out on his guitar on a momentary guitar riff, blood smearing across the strings and across the body of the guitar. His gaze never faltered as he turned back again, baring his teeth as the song increased in intensity. The band bounced almost as the rock ballad turned into an alternative shriek about death. Vivisy seemed to be playing a ploy that he was getting weaker, stumbling over himself and his knees buckling, but sitting up straight while bobbed with the music, eventually movign onto the ploy of hanging onto the mic to keep himself up, almost looking desperate to keep singing as his legs slowly gave out. His guitar hung over his chest, his gaze intense and his smile persistent. As that last chord dropped everything stopped, Vivisy dropped and pulled the mic down with him, the lights cutting before he hit the ground and only the sound of the wailing mic filled the venue.

Then the lights came back on and he was standing up with his arms outstretched as if he was offering everyone in the room a hug, a wide friendly grin on his face accented his features. He dipped his head before he bowed, picking up the mic and speaking into it while gesturing at his bandmatesz

“THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING I’M NEO AND THESE ARE MY XENON ANGELS!” 

[pftones3482]

So last year I did a selfie challenge (seen here) where every time I felt good about myself or my makeup or just in general, I'd take a selfie and save it to a separate folder in an effort to boost self confidence.

So without further ado, here are my ten favorites from this year, in no particular order lol:

Once again, a lot of fun, and really cool to see how I've physically changed over the year. I'm excited to do it again in 2020.

Happy New Year!!

[wretchedkitsch]

[unkillability]

surgeon lookz .... haha sorry i just got back from lunch i had a problem with the ketchup machine