#but its been a while and im scared
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Hate teeth. So much of a hassle.
#she speaks#i need to schedule a dentists appointment#but its been a while and im scared#like i dont wanna know whats wrong with those thangs. ignorance is bliss
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Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest
Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here
Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store 😭
It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony
#the final confrontation was basically his first death again#and YES he Does want the Joker dead#and it would've been really really nice if Batman was the one who did it#but when batman made it clear he wouldn't kill the joker. Jason easily switched to saying “LET me kill the joker” to accommodate#because he Wanted batman to pass his test#he gave a test to dick too. and technically tim but it wasnt the family test it was a different one so it doesnt rly count#AFTER utrh and the reveal and the batarang you can go hog wild about it. i care less about it then#granted i do believe they make jason more scared of the joker after it at some point#i guess because hes a bit too willing to kill the joker and ive heard jason wasnt meant to live after utrh#my watsonian explain for that is he was so fixated on his plan he cpuld override his fear. or maybe the pit. either work#i prefer the fixation bc i dont like the explanation that the pit was the /only/ reason he could get all plan together and done#BUT THATS UNRELATED!!!#dc stop putting the joker in jason stories im begging you please please please. lock him in a vault for the next 20 years or something#it Cpuld be good and i understand. but also. after so long of people that dont know or go for jasons need for family and parents#that love him and he can trust#the joker starts to feel like?? hm. words. a cop out? oh haha its that guy that killed him woagh hes here#i bet you dont even know that jaybin got beat until unconsciousness by an angry mob#while asking batman to save him only for batman to have to walk away#anwya. where was i going with this#i think i got off topic#jason todd#dc comics#batman#ADDED AN EDIT. SORRY. this post has been haunting me it keeps me awake. what if people misunderstand#they cant read my tags where i ramble more depth. thisbis the only option#EDIT EDIT: hiii#removed the sentence abt jason having the joker for several days bc i misremembered some things#go read its-your-mind 's addition instead also#ok no more i wont edit this post anymore i promise
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#still in my hole and a little scared to post this#just coz if it gets notes im worried ill end up in square one of only drawing for attention and getting stuck again#winter hasnt been easy on me for a while#and work has me so tired lately coz of it#im losing myself a bit#but the passion is still there its just gone a bit dormant#anyway.. vamery save me...#trigun#vashmeryl#vash the stampede#meryl stryfe#trigun maximum#my silly art
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I saw this post and was immediately inspired LMAO
#xero creations#ITS SO THEM UR HONOR IM SORYRYYQHAHWGDJD#SCARED THE COLORS OUTTA HER SMH!!!!#honestly i've been wanting 2 draw a muzzled eclipse for a while. perfect excuse ^_^#sun and moon show#eclipse and puppet show#the eclipse and puppet show#teaps#eaps#eaps eclipse#eaps puppet#teaps puppet#teaps eclipse
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#⚙️
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i have this recurring nightmare where i am transported back to my body pre-transition and for a brief moment i'm like oh cool boobs and then the horror sets in as i realize everything feels wrong and bad and i don't look like myself and it's going to take me years to transition to looking like myself again (myself as in the way i look now in real life) and i have a complete mental breakdown. and then i wake up and all i feel is relief. so i'm pretty sure transitioning was the best mental health decision i ever made 👍🏼
#ive been on t for like 8 years now and got top surgery 8 years ago too#sometimes i think huh what if and then i have this nightmare and im reminded that i definitely made the right choice#its fun that my brain likes to scare me by reminding me what debilitating dysphoria feels like via nightmares every once in a while#as though my brain is like hey remember how truly horrifying and terrible that felt? well you dont feel that way anymore so be grateful
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Save me Lazytown....Lazytown save me
#jane journals#vent#negative#ngl folks.....not doing awesome#i mean obviously. who among us is doing good rn#im scared. im angry. im frustrated#ive been in kind of a bad depression for a while and lemme tell ya. its not getting better anytime soon#but....maybe it WILL one day#i want everyone to know that we have to keep fighting and we will be ok#we'll keep doing what we can and maybe i wont have a presence like i did before for a while#but im still here#and so are you#i love you 💖
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after two years i finally draw the favorite
#my art#still learning honestly. idk how to explain it but some medias youre so fixated on and obsessed with u instantly want to draw everyone#for me dunmeshi has always been the opposite. series and characters i enjoy sm i cannot bring myself to pick up a pencil#for some reason. it got a lot worse once the anime started airing idk. simply forcing myself to get some of my energy out. in a way#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#thistle#dunmeshi thistle#thistle dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#>_< series i was into since late 2021. yet u wouldnt know that unless u follow my side twitter account. sowwy ig#i do this with a lot of franchises honestly. cannot bring myself to draw even if i think abt the characters constantly. ie skip to loafer#u will nvr catch me calling this guy sissel sorry. save that name for Mr. Ghost Trick. another thing i. also. dnt talk abt. which i adore#i need to get better at talking abt and expressing myself for the things that i enjoy. ive been wanting to draw laios for a good#while too but im scared. for some reason. u-u should nvr let a white man do that to me honestly.#for now i'll thistle tho. maybe we will get kabru namari or mithrun next from me >_< i have to talk myself into it#i think the closest way i can explain why i cannot bring myself to draw for some series is that i dnt want to mess up somehow#like 'ilu so much [character] what if i cnt draw u the way u deserve even tho i love u sm what if its not enough.' <- leaves it to sm1 else#tbh [scratches head] i prefer the version with less coloring ^-^ but i realize the one thats more colored would get more eyes on it... hm
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#fate extra#nero claudius#hakuno kishinami#hakunero#fate#type moon#my art#fanwork#2023#im on week 6 now and scared of the heartbreak that will probably await me...#i was listening to all the things she said pretty much the whole time i was drawing this and it hit so hard#its been a while since i couldnt stop myself from putting a drawing down...
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HEY GUYS CHAPTER DAY hey anyway did u know about the shen. shinkirou. mirage clam dragon creature. this is one of those things i assumed everyone knew about bc im so in love with it and i think about it all the time
it's so many concepts that appeal to me. a little unassuming creature. the idea of mirages being the dreams of a creature at the bottom of the sea. the nebulousness of the concept of a "dragon". mirages and illusions in general
anyway this is all preamble to show u my son Mirage
(cowboy because he was for a wild west themed minecraft rp server lmao. but also have u considered: cowboy dragon hot?)
im not a writer so i dont have a lot of plot or lore for him or anything but he IS entirely based off the concept of "deserts have mirages. oceans have mirages. the desert conjures up a mirage of the ocean"
anyway yeah i really love this clam thing. one of my favorite creatures ever
#canadas art#canada ocs#i feel a bit loopy writing this bc ive been translating the chapter for the past 10 hours straight and its 6am im kinda losing my marbles#this chapter is one of those where bc i had to translate it i really had to dwell on every page and notice all the innocuous details#and i think this chapter says a lot about ebisu. like way way more than “haha hes scared of spooky things and calls for kurahashi”#but i need to like. gather energy. to really psychoanalyse ebisu#also i was hootin and hollering when the fake hatanaka and miki showed up I FUCKING LOVE MIMICS!!! I LOVE WHEN SOMEONES SENSE OF SECURITY#IS EXPLOITED!!!! this chapter really is so many concepts that appeal to me SO HARD#anyway mimics reminds me of the selfcest diagram i made when i was discussing types of selfcest with my friend recently. does anyone want t#see that while im in a marbles lost sleep deprived rambling state still
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buddy is surrounded by horrible horrible adults like at all times and it is deeply stressing to me. not to baby him, i do think he is easily mislead but he is not stupid. but also like. can he be given a moment to breathe actually. can he not be manipulated for one second. please put him in a normal social situation with regular teenagers his age please im begging you
#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy#d20#buddy dawn#fantasy high junior year#SLASH LIGHT HEARTED THIS IS NOT A GENUINE COMPLAINT OR ANYTHING#I DIDNT EXPECT TO LIKE THIS CHARACTER AS MUCH AS I DO AND I AM SO WORRIED. IM SO SCARED#i get uncomfortable when people go like “he is just a baby!” because he is a full teenager#like i agree hes being manipulated big time by irresponsible adults around him that dont care about him#but i think its more complicated rhan just “he doesnt know any better!”#but im losing my mind. i think hes being set up as an antagonist for s4 and while#im very excited we get to see more of him im also deeply terrified because i think . he is in danger ?????#bc he is still being influenced by the rage crystal that hasnt been takem out of him + im so scared hes gonna get. killed#i do not think he is evil. i think hes a misguided kid whos having a lot of awful things happen to him#but im terrified i will be proven wrong. buddy please#IM EXCITED TO SEE WHERE THE CLIFFHANGER WILL LEAD TO BUT U MUST UNDERSTAND#IM SO ILL. IM GOING MENTAL. MAD. SICK IN THE HEAD#IM GOING TO MICROEAVE HIM UNTIL HE EXPLODES.
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My starter pair in Flight Rising
#i was so happy when the paired dragon i got with 'yuse' (my starting one) was blue. i was like 'NO WAY'#i think im slowly losingg it#its okay#its#toolshipping#but im too scared of tagging the characters#but its bruyu make no mistake#ive been playing flight rising for a month straight now.#love watching my hatchlings grow up ^_^#drawn while sleep deprived and waiting for a game to finish downloading#dragons
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it just hit me that the movie is coming out next month imgonna throw upppppppp
#to be clear this isnt an excited post this is a scared post .#i feel kinda guilty about it with how excited i was about the first 2 movies#but i just cant be anymore paramount and the scu have disappointed me so much within the past year in so many ways ......#shadow is one of my favorite characters his lore makes me go crazy and is one of the things that pulled me into loving sonic so much#but i literally felt nothing while watching that trailer aside from confusion at some of the writing choices being made#like i wasnt expecting an exact recreation of sa2 but why is sonic working with gun . wtf is gerald doing here . why are there no girls .#the only positives to me were things that were cool visually . which doesnt outweigh all the things that have annoyed/disappointed me#like who cares about another cool sonic and shadow fight scene we already have plenty of those .#Anyway. saw some of those new promotional images.#i swear to god if they actually start calling shadow+eggman+gerald team dark#like they suggested they might in that survey from a while back#im gonna become the joker for real#(insert the NO that is NOT solid snake image but it says team dark instead)#also maybe im taking the hedgehog games way too seriously here#but having gerald still be alive and present in some form feels like such a bad idea from a story perspective ... like .#for one shadow lost Everything in the gun raid having gerald still be here feels like its undermining that in a way#but also gerald's whole thing in sa2 is being long dead but still impacting the story despite that . why is he ALIVEEEE#and why is he here over rouge ???? do they just hate women or something#(before someone goes ''it would take too much time/money to animate another cgi character''#maybe the movies should have just been fully animated if that sort of thing was a concern . just saying)
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oh im obsessed with this actually… who ever wrote this one i am kissing u on the forehead and hugging you real tight… inigo is such a loverboy im kkkhhhhhhijnsdnfng
#ann plays awakening#EDITING TO SAY I STARTED TAG VENTING HIT READMORE AT YOUR OWN RISK#anyways#LAST LINE IS A KILLERRRR WOW#‘ann werent you just pairing olivia with thar—‘ OLIVIA IS A BUSY WOMAN OKAY#but also i just had this old save file from when i wanted to see pink inigo and decided to get some more supports#im obsessed actually like#ok tag venting time maybe this should be its own post but u guys know who i am#not only does this support in my very educated opinion do a good job at emulating inigo’s way of speaking#but i think theres also a very underrated characteristic he has that not a lot of people talk about and its that hes honestly quite morbid#him spending hours talking to and dancing with his mother’s grave is very beautiful and moving but it is also not a normal way to grieve#which makes sense because duh nothing about his life is normal but its j like. you know#if robin is his father (and maybe j the normal convo i dont remember) in the hot springs scramble he’ll insist upon bringing—#severed risen limbs home as a way to remember the peacefulness (lol) of the springs#and he thinks absolutely nothing of it!!#i think he gets attached to things just a little too intensely and because his life is surrounded by death how he expresses that can be#very interesting. and he talks about death all time more than the other kids#bc while a lot of their coping mechanisms are based in fear and the need to instill confidence in themselves (think cyn or gerome or owain#or sev or yarne or noire)#and how their SCARED of death and of loss and adapt different behaviors to act like theyre not (to varying degrees of success)#i think inigo is much more accepting of the fact that death follows him and has made it a normal presence in his life#which is not a good thing it means that he hasnt let himself grieve. he lets death hang over him and follow him instead of pushing back#also guess which one of the awakening trio in fates has the canonical story death. just by the way lmao#anyways bc im writing this in the tags on my phone i cant actually see what the hell ive been saying im j stream of consciousnessing this#but my point is that inigo has a weird fixation on death and dying that stems from his inability to make peace with death and grieve#and i think him idolizing death in this support (this BRILLIANT fan support that made me ill) is so in character and so lovely#i miss him so bad (hes literally in the photos im posting) grghhhrgah#i wuv him :(
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Knighthoods of the Mail
(pages 919-925)
I really like both these panels, the extreme downward angle on Jade who has the disadvantage of being small and the advantage of being alive and angry, and the close up on Grandpa, both of them lit by the strange pink-orange firelight. Fire and burning is a threat we’ve seen for all four kids now, so it creates that parallel, and also a surreal atmosphere from the composition of both images.
Jade is also speaking in the narration on this page – it’s italicized and first person instead of second, written in her register. None of the other kids have done this yet, the narrator is always between them and us. I like the implication that Jade is overriding the narrator but also the idea that the narrator is like ‘you know what, I’m taking this page off, I’m just gonna let her shout’. It’s fun, and I’m interested to see if it’ll happen more.
I am still pretty fucked up over this reveal but personally I would have done it a little differently – the gut punch of ‘He was so much easier to deal with when he was alive’ (p.920) could have been SO much more effective if it hadn’t already been obvious from their Strife that this is not a living man. Even keeping the original sequence but publishing the pages at the same time would have worked, but sitting for a day between the Strife sequence and that line meant it didn’t hit as hard for me.
I do still have a lot of questions. Jade knows Grandpa is dead but seems to still genuinely believe they’re communicating, and who’s to say they’re not? Who’s to say Jade’s powers don’t tell her exactly what Grandpa is saying or would say in this circumstance? If so, it must be a lot harder psychologically to escape his expectations. But even if Jade’s powers don’t come into it, there’s practical concerns – how long ago did Grandpa die, and does anyone besides Jade even know? It’s easy to say Jade should redecorate the house but living so remotely where mail has to be airdropped in balloons, she’s probably not physically capable of that, and can’t get other people to do it for her. Typheus is a little big to captchalogue and where else would Jade even put him?
So I guess I kind of get it? In the sense of Jade keeping the only life and routine she’s ever known, going through the same motions with a stuffed grandpa that she once did with a real one, because the barriers to doing anything different are so high? It’s really easy to adapt to a strange situation when you don’t have a point of comparison to know it’s strange, and when it happens so regularly that it becomes like autopilot.
We cut back to PM, my absolute beloved, one of my most favorite characters. They haven’t been seriously hurt by Jade’s explosive powers but their head wrappings are on fire (btw is the pointy tail of their head covering the shape of the fabric or the shape of their head??) and some of the mailboxes are tragic casualties of the event, which I may never forgive Jade for.
And then one of the metal worms rescues a mailbox! The all important mailbox with the letter to Dr David Brinner in it! Redemption arc for the metal worms who have definitely learned from their predecessors’ mistakes. This is a beautiful, angelic worm deserving of high honors, and PM knows it, giving them an equally metallic heart. If the postal service had an equivalent for a knighthood for a postal worker who goes above and beyond to preserve the integrity of the mail then PM would award that to this worm. I am thinking about PM as a dispenser of justice – someone with a really strong, inflexible moral code who is willing to impartially punish those who break it and reward those who keep it.
> PM: Bequeath the mailman’s cap to this hero.
#homestuck#reaction#gonna talk abt personal stuff in the tags not relevant to homestuck feel free 2 ignore#yesterday i dmed the finale of the dnd campaign ive been running for the past 2 years#not the first campaign ive run but Definitely the most ambitious. and it was stressful and terrifying and i was doing it scared every time.#i could not have asked for better players i loved all their character arcs sm#it was a beautiful 8 hour finale obv there are things i wish id done differently#but overall im proud of what i made but struggling with the goodbye of it all#bc circumstances have changed during these 2 years and. im probably gonna see these friends a lot less now#and this might be the last time i visit this city where i used to live and where i met these people. definitely the last for a while#not everything is forever its good to end things on a good note and this is a time to move on for lots of reasons#but wow im lucky to have known some very good people. and a beautiful city#and i am sitting by the window in the library on my last day here and watching the cold sunlight on the river and i will miss it all so muc#anyway thats why this post is late bc i was doing prep work for the final battle bc these people deserved a session as good as possible#thats all#chrono
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a thing about myself I've discovered is that entirely regardless of what piece of media he is in I will only ever see Ben Stiller as Larry Daley
#he's been in other stuff to YOU. to me these are the only three movies that exist in the entire world.#spotify ad with his voice jump scared me I was like “do I have natm playing in another tab???”#I watched those movies a million times as a kid I'm sorry its imprinted now#interestingly this does not go for the other actors#Like i can see owen wilson or rami malek in something else and be like “oh yeah the actor”#i see ben stiller in something else and im like “tf is the nightguard doing”#Steve Coogan trips me up a little bit#it might be that Ben Stiller is just talking in his normal voice for all the NATM movies and the others change a little#as a child who spent a lot of time not watching the screen while the movie was playing that could explain it#natm#night at the museum#Larry Daley
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