#but its always worth the effort for someone u care about

[allthatmay]

how u charactirize the relationship between garp & ace? i personally think theyre quite complicated cause they love each other to the end of the world but also ace needs the touch of someone who is gentle enough to not break the fragile inside of his shell, which is something garp is just NOT dealing with. its a vicious circle where ace believes its his own fault for being so difficult while garp feels frustrated as he watches his grandson dig deeper into the hole.

this has been a bit of a ramble ... my apologies.

No, please, I love rambles! Rambling together is literally one of my top communication methods!

Right, so, I love Garp. He's such a shithead, but that's exactly what he's supposed to be. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, he's the reformist who can't stomach admitting that the entire system is flawed. Up close, he's a 'tough love, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, this is the way the world works' kind of guy, but he has to be like that precisely because he's a reformist. If he weren't like that—if he ever elected to wake up and smell the government-sanctioned genocide—his entire world would collapse, and he would have to face all the monumental, misguided fuck-ups he's made. If he's not a good man who has always tried his best for the sake of justice (however cruel that justice may be), then he's just a coward whose inaction (and sometimes direct action) has actively hurt his own family, and he can't face that.

Garp's relationships with Luffy and Ace reflect his thinking so clearly, but especially with Ace. Ace is a symbol of everything that goes against the system Garp is upholding, but he's also a victim of that system; it's more convenient for Garp to sequester him away and tell himself everything will be fine than it is to admit that Ace needs more. In my eyes, Garp absolutely loves Ace—in fact, I think his handling of Ace is so poor because of how much he loves him; Garp and Roger were friends, and Ace is his legacy.

Like you say, it's absolutely a viscous cycle between them. Garp, having all these complicated feelings, tries to prepare Ace for the people who will undoubtedly have similar feelings. Ace, a young boy who already feels like he doesn't fit in the world (no thanks to his unconventional upbringing), spirals every time Garp refuses to step up for him. I think a part of Garp hopes he can scare Ace into joining the Marines but, of course, he does the exact opposite.

As for Ace, he definitely loves Garp, and that's why I think Garp really did a number on him. Of course, Ace has Dadan, but she isn't a great parental figure. (Don't get me wrong, I love her and I know she loves Ace, but she's more like that cool, older babysitter that doesn't give it a shit what the kids do, as long as they're not dead.) Garp is the one who's supposed to be looking after Ace, and Ace knows that. He sees the lack of effort and care, and the way Garp can't really look at him. I bet Garp's infrequent comings and goings were harder for Ace to bear than simply being left alone.

This isn't even acknowledging that Garp's treatment of Ace isn't just neglectful, but absolutely callous. Telling a young boy that "only time will tell if he deserves to live" isn't just fatalistic, it's fatal. Ace takes this message to mean, "No actions I can take will have a bearing on the worth of my life," so he's robbed of his hope, of his desire to live; he thinks everything is pre-determined by the people around him, even his identity.

(Yet Ace goes about his life with utter patience and kindness anyway because he knows what it's like to go without them and he's desperate for love. God fucking damn it, Garp. You broke the boy.)

Anyway, I could go on, but I've said enough. Geez, now I'm the one apologising for rambling so much! Sorry! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

PS. I know I said in another ask that my favourite characters were Ace, Luffy, Shanks, Mihawk, and Robin, but... I think Garp is up there, actually. Then again, so are Jinbe and Law and Kuma, so, really, I'm just full of shit.

[moonferry]

ISMHO CHAPTER 2????

omg.. hi guys i finally picked this back up Lol. bit of a shorter one but i think itll help set the stage for what comes next. also WHAAAT is this self indulgent samstar?? its more likely than u think.

ps u can find more about star over at @stars-mischief wink wonk

summary: after running off, sam is approached by a familiar face and receives some advice.

word count: 2108

warnings: none

ao3 link: here

other chapters: chapter masterlist

Eventually, exhaustion seemed to overtake him and he slumped under a nearby tree. 

How could he have said all those things? Sam wondered. How could he have been so careless, so selfish, so.. Angry? It wasn’t like him at all. He didn’t like it. Sam had just lashed out at two of his best friends, he had just smashed a guitar, and then promptly stormed off. He didn’t even know who he was anymore. It was… jarring, in a way. 

Sam didn’t realize how much he was counting on Kent’s presence. Nor did he realize just how much the lack of it would hurt. He ripped off his jacket and wadded it into a ball. It was just another painful reminder of everything he wished for: his father’s approval, his father’s praise, hell, even his father’s love, at times. He knew Kent loved him, he knew Kent had reasons for not coming, but neither of those facts made it hurt any less. 

From the time Sam was sixteen, he had cared for his younger brother in a way that he wished his father would’ve cared for him. And, even though he would deny it if you asked, a part of him would always be resentful for Kent’s constant absence. He was understanding, yes, and he knew why Kent continued to return to service, but Sam would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt. 

He would be lying if he said he didn’t wish that he could’ve enjoyed teenage years without worrying that his father may never return home. He would be lying if he said he didn’t spend several nights lying awake, staring at the ceiling, paralyzed by the fear of something happening to Kent. 

However, he did not hate his father. No, Sam loved his father more than anything in the world. He longed for his praise, his approval. When Sam was younger, he thought Kent was the coolest person in the world. A part of him still did, he supposed. Sam thought his father was insanely brave and truly admired him for what he has done. However, he wished that, just once, his father would choose their family over his profession. That his father would choose him. 

Don’t be so stupid, he scolded himself, that’ll never happen. 

Sam sighed and attempted to push the thoughts from his mind. Yet, he couldn’t stop himself from glancing down at the wad of fabric held tightly in his palms. It was a dark, faded denim, with holes near the collar and scattered all across the sleeves. It was tattered from age and constant use, but Sam couldn’t bear to replace it. The jacket, like many other things, had belonged to Kent. Sam wore it (and a small cluster of dog tags, belonging to Kent and two of his fallen comrades) almost every day. It made him feel closer to his father, in a way. Or at least it usually did. 

Now, holding the jacket in his hands, gently brushing his thumb across the coarse fabric, Sam felt the ever expanding distance between himself and his father. It seemed that,  no matter how hard he tried, his father was always out of reach and, if Sam attempted to reach out - to stretch farther and graze the man with his fingertips - Kent would move ever so slightly, expanding the distance between them once more. Oftentimes, Sam wondered if it was truly worth the effort. 

Busy with his thoughts, Sam did not notice the footfalls of a person approaching. He simply stared down at his hands, his mind swirling and swelling as he thought about how the day’s events had transpired. The only thing that seemed to garner his attention was a shadow that suddenly loomed over him, as if someone had walked in front of the light and were now peering down at him. It was accompanied by a soft, familiar voice. 

“Sam?” The voice asked, causing Sam to break out of his stupor. He looked up - expecting Sebastian or Abigail, or even his mother. However, who he saw was neither of those people. It was someone else entirely. A newer resident of Pelican Town - one who had moved in a few months prior to Sam’s concert. 

“Star?” Sam replied, bewildered. He glanced around at the remote area and then at the man who stood in front of him. He spoke once more, “How did you find me out here?” 

“Lucky guess,” he chirped. Sam raised an eyebrow, suspicious. Star simply chuckled, his mouth contorting in a faint grin. That was one of the many mysteries of Star A. Nonymous: whenever someone needed him, whether they knew it or not, he would appear. 

Sam looked up at him, squinting to see his features. He noticed the light carefully bouncing off of Star’s light blond waves, trailing down to his vibrant eyes before finally settling on the pale skin of his cheeks - dusting across them as if the light’s only goal was to caress every single freckle it found. Sam tore his eyes away, shifting his gaze to the cold, dark ground - he noted how it seemed to be contrasted by the vibrant teal and stark white coloring of Star’s converse. 

“What are you doing here?” Sam grumbled, staring intently at the dirt. He hadn’t intended for anyone to find him, least of all Star. It wasn’t that he disliked Star - quite the opposite, actually - it was simply the events of today, the emotions Sam had felt… it all terrified him. He wasn’t sure recognized himself and he certainly didn’t want to lash out at anyone else. 

“Mm,” Star started, pursing his lips together into a thin line. “I could ask you the same thing.” 

“But… I think I already know the answer to that question,” Star added, a small sigh slipping past his lips. He lowered himself to the ground, sitting a few feet away from Sam. 

Sam did not respond. A small wave of guilt had begun to creep over him. Star didn’t outright say it - he did not need to. Sam knew what Star was talking about - what everyone was talking about. He wouldn’t be surprised hundreds of people had shared the video by now. He could almost see the captions and headlines: “Goblin Destroyer’s guitarist and vocalist Sam Neilson smashes guitar in a fit of fiery rage”. He grimaced. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Star offered, giving Sam a kind, understanding look. Noting Sam’s silence, and how the man refused to meet his gaze, Star gave a curt nod and added, “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” 

“But.. I just want you to know that I’ll be here,” Star spoke once more. When the only reply was more silence, he looked away, though his voice remained kind and judgment free as he added, “Or.. if you’d rather me leave you alone, that’s fine, too.” 

Sam listened intently. Something about Star’s words - how concerned, yet free of judgment they sounded - beckoned him. Something made him want to tell Star - to open up, to dive into lines of thought he had long buried, to open old wounds long scarred over. That was another thing about Star, Sam supposed. His presence was understanding - comforting, even - and Sam found himself drawn to it. He couldn’t quite place it, but he knew Star would understand him better than anyone ever had. 

He told Star everything. 

Star listened in uncharacteristic silence, deeply taking in Sam’s words. When Sam had finished recounting the circumstances leading up to the performance - explaining how he orchestrated the whole thing for his father - Star gave another nod. 

“I see,” Star spoke finally, his lip forming into a slight frown. He looked at Sam, noting the frustration and sadness that he usually hid. It was rare to see Sam in this state - raw, achy, allowing himself to feel his own emotions - rather than stuffing them down or distracting himself with the problems of others. 

Star reached a hand out, slowly inching it towards Sam’s own - intent on giving him a gentle, reassuring squeeze. However, he wasn’t sure if he should and stopped a few inches short. He mumbled, “I’m sorry. That must be so frustrating.” 

“I guess,” Sam replied, shrugging his shoulders. He continued, “It doesn’t matter, though. What’s done is done. He wasn’t here. Nothing I do can change that fact.”

“Mm.. I suppose that’s true,” Star piped up. He followed Sam’s gaze, his own eyes trailing to the wad of fabric in the guitarist’s hands. An idea popped into Star’s head and he spoke once more, “Aren’t you the least bit curious why he wasn’t here, though?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well..  I don’t know much about your dad but.. He doesn’t seem like the type to just break a promise like that…” Star explained. 

Sam gave a humorless chuckle, shaking his head, “You’d be surprised.” 

“All I’m saying is..,” Star’s eyebrows furrowed together, deep in thought. He spoke again, “There has to be a reason, right?”

“I guess so.” 

“There you go! That’s a start,” Star replied, beaming. Sam looked at the man’s toothy grin. It was almost enough to make him want to smile as well. Almost.

“I still don’t understand what you’re suggesting, Star,” Sam grumbled, hugging his knees to his chest. He added, “There’s a reason, so what?”

A look of disbelief crossed Star’s features. He shook his head and explained even further, “Doesn’t a small part of you want to know what that reason was, instead of just accepting it as something that happened?” 

Sam thought for a moment. He had to admit, a rather large part of him was curious about Kent’s continued absence - even if he was understanding about it. Eventually, he nodded. 

“So.. talk to him about it,” Star suggested, “Explain your side and listen to him.” 

“Look, Sam,” Star started. He turned to face Sam, his expression and voice now much more serious. “I can’t guarantee it’ll help.. But I think it’s worth a shot. At the very least, you can explain how much it hurt you.” 

“At the end of the day - whether you talk to him or not -… it’s your decision and I will support you and whatever you decide,” Star began, a small sigh slipping past his lips. 

“Just think about it,” He continued, “okay?” 

Sam sighed, stricken with indecision. He weighed the two options: on one hand, he could act as if this never happened, only to be confronted about the guitar. On the other, he could readily admit his mistakes and finally explain (both to himself and his father) what he had been ignoring for all these years. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, mulling over his thoughts further. He knew that, if he continued to ignore his negative emotions, they would only fester and may even cause him to lash out - likely in a way worse than he had today. Sam didn’t want that to happen. 

Eventually, he looked at Star and nodded, “Okay.”

“I’ll talk to him,” Sam decided. Star smiled at him and, unlike before, Sam smiled back. Star couldn’t quite place it yet, but upon seeing Sam’s smile, a strange warmth had settled over him. Perhaps it was the way his lips curled at the edges - ending in faint dimples - or the fact that seeing Sam smile was like stepping into a gentle patch of sun. Star concluded that it was simply because he enjoyed seeing Sam smile. 

However, Star’s thoughts were interrupted by Sam speaking once more, “Thanks for the advice, Star.”

“Don’t mention it,” Star replied, smiling once again. However, this one was quite different. Sam found himself staring at it, watching his friend’s eyes crinkle as the corners of his cheeks curled upwards. A wide, toothy grin - one that showed off the small tooth gap and fang-like canine teeth. A smile like this from Star was quite rare. Sam wasn’t sure what he had done to be lucky enough to see it, but he did know something: he liked seeing it. 

Eventually, Star opened his eyes once more. Sam looked away before awkwardly clearing his throat, letting out a faint “uhm” - trying to ignore the strange warmth that filled his chest. Sam looked down at the jacket once more and pushed himself into a standing position. 

“I’m gonna… go find my dad,” Sam explained, pointing over his shoulder with one of his thumbs. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, though his eyes refused to meet Star’s own. He mumbled, “I’ll.. uh.. I’ll see you around?” 

Before Star could reply, Sam had turned and began walking away.

[writing-whump]

forgive my 200 ask at the minute, but my brain is on fire. I just love your babies, so much. Alright, so would u ever be up for writing a moment where Isaiah actually has to use his shadow on another wolf, where all his soft skills in the world fail him (the other pack/wolf won't hear him) and he's forced to let the Executioner out in front of Matt and Sel?

And not even in a bad lighting (ofc Sel will be spooked regardless), but really just a small reminder this man IS super capable and badass, even if his shadow is lowkey falling apart.

asking for a friend 🙈🙈🙈

I need you too much

Seline always felt like she had to beat the world back with a stick sometimes, to conserve her energy levels.

Everything tried to syphon her. Every class, every homework, every person, everything needed for work. And that was fine, that's why she made sure to enjoy all those things as much as she could. Careful selection.

But she still needed those precious days where she could just stay in her room and do nothing. Just her thoughts, her books, some writing done, music and daydreams. No obligations, no socialising or putting herself together.

She needed to just be with herself to recharge her batteries.

And she was careful about that time even with Isaiah and Matt. While she made an effort to be present with them, whole-heartedly and completely, to make traditions, to spend time together, there were moments that were untouchable and only hers.

But now the most terrible feeling came upon her.

She wanted to spend the entire weekend with Isaiah.

She couldn't sleep that night, thinking of how much she didn't want to go back to the house or to her room or to her books, if she could just be with him. One more day. An extra day of the week.

It wasn't a thing she felt like she could say out loud without sounding insane. Every girl in her shoes would logically want to spend all her time with her boyfriend.

But Isaiah wasn't just in the category "interesting" or "not exhausting". He was category "share every thought with", "read him the best passage on the page" and "childish kind of delight" at just seeing his face.

This was terrible. Out of control terrible, horrible.

So instead of enjoying the evening and hurrying home from class, she sat down at the park next to uni and watched the trams. Sun came and went, twilight came and went and she couldn't make herself move. Afraid to go home; afraid to completely lose herself in that irresistible desire to see that man.

Oh, this was so so bad.

Seline refused to give someone that much power over her. To hurt her, to control her. She wasn't going to depend on anyone and even less on a guy. Her thoughts were supposed to be enough to make her happy - she was enough to make herself happy.

The streets were clearing out. Vienna wasn't particularly calm at night, but the vicinity of the main university building sure missed its students in these hours.

Seline almost didn't notice, except the trams weren't coming that often and the wind was starting to howl emptily.

She should go home. This wasn't particularly secure anymore. Not that she needed anyone to feel secure. No way.

"Ah, look at that. Isn't that Seline?"

Seline blinked, getting herself back in the present.

The girl had long violet hair, a coat with spiraly patterns and long fale earrings shimmering in the steetlamp light. The other one she held around the waist had long brown curly hair and dark eyes and was considerably smaller in size.

"Hi, Violet," Seline muttered. "Bye, Violet."

Violet gave her a sly smile. "Oh you are not getting rid of me that easily. You know Seline, Cami? That's the witch that used to be in our coven."

Seline sighed, leaning back on the bench. Just the kind of theatrics she needed.

"You know why she got kicked out?"

"I left," Seline corrected, trying to not to let herself get baited into this. Violet was not worth the time to argue with.

"She believes," Violet continued, voice rising, "into the human system of work. Wants to waste her valuable magic and time for salary and live under explotative capitalist conditions. Some serious brainwashing, isn't it?"

Seline rolled her eyes. "It's called having interests outside of magic. And wanting to contribute something to the society."

"We are contributing. Our magic. A proper witch should get the freedom to develop her talents and arts."

"No, you just want somebody to take care of you just because you were born," Seline said, voice acidic. "If you can't find a wolf who would do so just cause you look pretty, then the state should do it for you. Cause food and electricity simply fall out of the sky and witches are too cool to work like normal mortals."

Violet frowned. "You just aren't skilled with magic so you look for something pathetic to fill the void."

"Yes, indeed, lot of pathetic people work at the university."

"I am at the university too."

"That's it, Violet. You are, you don't work. You just put stickers with communist ideas onto bathrooms and tables and feel important. Giving speeches about how everything should belong to everybody, because you shouldn't have to create anything of value, since you have a talent for magic."

"That's-"

"Magic," Seline interrupted, "that doesn't work on humans or for humans. It comes from wolf shadows and works only on them. Tell me Violet, what exactly is your problem? Can't find a job to your liking? Or can't be bothered to put in any effort or thought into one?"

"You should learn how to shut up," Violet was downright hissing. "So it doesn't cost you that precious job of yours."

"Are you pulling the strings now, Vi? If you at least read the crap you put on those stickers or actually went 50 kilometers to the east to see what your ideas looked like in practice in the Sowjet Union-"

"That you came from to steal our jobs and places at universities," Cami said, looking terribly proud of herself for pitching in. "Little Slavic refugee and a thief."

This is the EU, you idiot. I have every right to he here. Seline stood up, making a mocking motion as if she was tipping her head to the two witches, heart racing. "Your intelligence knows no bounds. Have a good evening, bitches."

She made to move behind the bench and to the other side of the park, when a tall figure suddenly appeared out of the shadow, blocking her way.

"If only you stayed a little bit longer, Sel," Violet said in the sweetest fake voice she could manage. "You might have had found a wolf to protect you."

...

"Isaiah, you are overreacting."

Isaiah didn't slow down at Matthew's protests as he hurried down the street, into the direction of Seline's last class.

"She should have been home hours ago."

"Yeah, maybe she found a bookshop on the way and forgot about time again."

"She is not answering me."

"Do I have to remind you of the speech she gave us both about being constantly available? She knows how to turn it off and all that crap." Despite his reassurances, Matthew jogged behind Isaiah at the same pace.

The streets were basically empty at 11 on Monday. Isaiah let his shadow up to have more senses to search with. His shadow eagerly consumed the darkness and the streets around, melting into it.

It sensed another intense eagerness just ahead of them.

Isaiah sped up into an outright run, Matthew close on his heels.

He didn't catch Seline's scent until he was almost there. They stood upwind with buildings all around, it was hard to track.

But it was Seline alright. Circled by a bunch of wolves who were throwing her around like a volleyball. Frozen solid in their grip, tyring not to show a reaction. Sign of fear or pleading would just rile a wolf up.

Wolves technically shouldn't harm witches. Witches had a powerful calming effect on them, making it very hard to be hostile to them.

But there were other witches present. Two altogether, standing a bit to the side but with good view. A wolf head over heels for a witch would be capable of many impossibilities.

The girls noticed them first, the one with blue-violet hair immediately positioning herself between them.

Matthew stopped at the sight, unsure. Wolf should not harm a witch. Not only was it physically uncomfortable, felt entirely wrong for a wolf to do so, it was strictly forbidden and looked-down upon.

A wolf should not touch a witch without her permission. Touch ment connection and connection meant magic.

Isaiah had not decided what to say yet, but he did not feel any qualms. "You let her go right now," he said quietly. "This is the only warning you will get."

The violet witch smiled widely as the wolves behind her looked up, sneering.

"I don't think you are paying attention, pal," one of the wolves said. "It's six of us. And it's only two of you. You really want to fight us?"

Might makes right kind of idiots? Fine with him.

Isaiah noticed Matthew's hesistant look, not seeing a way how to get to the wolves around the two witches he wasn't supposed to touch.

Isaiah didn't wait for him. His shadow was up and about in the darkness, covering the ground underneath them. One quick twist and they were all falling down, feet flying up as if he pulled the carpet underneath them.

The girl's smile turned into a surprised grimace.

Before anyone could move Isaiah used his shadow to sweep over the wolves, rolling their shadows one by one with smoothness of years of experience.

He stepped closer, pushing the two witches out of the way as they yelped, looking down. His shadow didn't need a straight path. And he had enough control not to touch Seline in the midst of them.

She was standing upright in the middle with a stony expression. But her arms were wrapped around her, her hair was sticking in all directions. He scanned her for any signs of blood or injury.

Not finding any didn't really quell his anger.

"I thought you wanted to fight," Isaiah said, turning back to the wolves crawling and moaning on the ground. Three were shivering without their shadows, one was curled up holding his head, one was even passed out. Rolling a shadow was never pleasant.

The last one, the one who spoke, was crawling away. Isaiah quickly closed the distance between them, kicking him into the stomach. And then in the face for good measure.

He took him by the collar, easily lifting him with one hand. "You come after my girl again, I'll rip your arms off, you hear?"

The wolf shook violently than nodded.

Isaiah turned around, his shadow riding around in satisfaction, brimming with happy aggressive energy. It wanted to make good on his threat right away, wanted to rip them to little pieces along with the witches.

Isaiah looked back at Seline and down, suddenly self-conscious of how much of those desires she could read from his expression.

Seline said nothing, retrieving her bag from the ground.

She did not take his hand, when he offered it.

...

Isaiah was sure he had fucked things up spectacularly. He went all scary in front of Seline, did not even wait for Matt to back him up. He just rushed into it with killing intent.

The way Seline got scared from Matthew's shadow, how she cried and shut him down for weeks to come was fresh in his mind, making his chest tight and dread pool in his stomach.

Seline said nothing on their ride back home and didn't look at any of them. He wasn't sure how to interpret it, she was very hard to read, when she didn't want some kind of emotion to show. But it must have been fear. What else could it have been?

Fear from what just happened and from him and from being involved with wolves in general...

When they arrived at their apartment, she went upstairs immediately. Clear signal she wanted space.

"This is going to be a problem," Isaiah said quietly, staring at the staircase.

Matthew bumped into his shoulder. "What do you mean?"

"Well, look at her! She is terrified of me!" He turned around to lean his forehead against the wall.

There was angry stomping on the floor above them. Then a slam of the door.

"Yeah, I don't think fear is what we are talking about," Matthew said dryly. "She looks pissed to me."

"Huh?" Isaiah said intelligently. His brain was short-circuiting at how he just went all Executioner in front of his girlfriend.

"Yep. Stop making guesses and go talk it out. No point worrying about something that might not be true."

"But- Did you not see-"

"I saw fine. It was plenty cool, if you ask me," Matthew said with a smirk. "Shoo."

Isaiah shook his head in exasperation, but went up.

Seline was in the process of changing and getting ready for bed. She slammed the cupboards violently behind her, the doors creaking painfully as she threw them open and then shut again.

Isaiah slipped inside her room, a little stunned by the display. He couldn't remember if he had seen Seline like this before.

"Ehhh...are you okay?"

She gave him an indignant look. "I'm fine! Perfectly fine!"

Isaiah watched her as she glared at her discarded jeans and shirt on the bed, in her PJs already, suddenly grateful Seline's affinity was water and not fire.

"Why didn't- you could have called me, you know?" He said tentatively into the silence. "I would have come sooner."

"I didn't need you to come."

Isaiah's eyebrows knitted together. "Well, then you could have at least called Matthew or messaged us where you were, so if something happened, we would know to look for you."

"I don't need-"

"You message your mother when you go to school and arrive home, why the hell can't you do the same for your pack?" Isaiah interjected, voice jumping up. "If you don't want to see me, fine, if you- at least let us know you are okay. Not to mention you weren't-"

"If those cows didn't bring their wolves, I would have been alright," she said, turning back to him, her chin up.

"I don't doubt that, but they had wolves around and it's my duty as your packmember and packleader-" Why was he defending his desire to protect her again?

He knew it was the wrong thing to say by the furious look in her eyes.

"Look," he said, pressing the bridge of his nose. "Wolves are dangerous, the city is dangerous and I just want to keep you safe. You can at least make sure of that, right? If you need a break from-from me or if you are disgusted or scared of me right now- there are still ways how to-"

"What are you going on about?"

"You didn't answer my messages or my calls all day," Isaiah said. "I thought something was wrong or that you were upset with me."

Seline watched him silently as if that wasn't all.

"And...right now...That must have been scary, right? I don't blame you for-"

She gave a dramatic sight. "I was upset. But not with you."

Seline approached. Isaiah suppressed the urge to back away, keeping the space he had drawn around her in his head untouched.

Seline's eyes widened at something, then she took the last three steps between them to stand right in front of him. "I'm not scared of you. That was actually...really nice of you. To defend me like that."

"Yeah?" He rubbed the back of his head self-consciously. "I don't want you to see-"

"I have never been scared of you. Wolves, sometimes, and yelling maybe, but not you. You would never do anything to hurt me." She took his face between her hands to make him look at her.

Isaiah let out a relieved breath, putting his hands over hers on his cheeks. "Okay. That's good, I'm glad. So what were you...upset about before?"

He watched her face intently, and his heart jumped into his throat where there were suddenly tears spilling over her cheeks.

"Sel?"

"I don't-" she broke off with a shuddering breath, ducking her head. "I don't want to need you this much."

"I'm sorry - what?"

"It's like I depend on you to protect me, and-and I'm doing it all wrong. I'm not supposed to tell you stuff like this, but I wanted- I want to be with you too much." She let go of his face, hugging herself.

Isaiah had the distinct feeling he was missing something. "And that's bad how?"

She looked up at him, her eyes even bluer from the tears.

"Isn't that kind of why we are together?"

Her blond eyebrows met in the center of her forehead in annoyance. "Don't you understand how bad this is? You...you are better than my solitude."

Isaiah frowned until he remembered the quote she meant. It was one of the quote books that they read in the evening to each other, sometimes to discuss them. My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude.

His heart was fluttering in his chest at the proclamation as he understood what this meant.

Not needing more reassurance than that, he scooped her up from her feet, hugging her to him. No way he was allowing his girlfriend to feel so sad about caring about him so much.

He dragged her into the bed, arms wrapped snuggly around her, and she reciprocated, hugging him just as tight around the waist. Like she couldn't get close enough.

„Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within," he said into her ear, nose in her hair. "You know that one? Cause that's how it feels to be with you."

Her breath hitched against him, her face buried in his chest he wondered how she could even breathe. But he couldn't make himself let her go.

He wondered how he ever could again.

[erinsreadings]

Hii!! How r u? Happy New year!!

Name: Pris

Pronoun:she/her

Colour of the Arrow : blush

I'll get my exam result on valentine's day so I'm planning to hangout with my friends after the results.

Thank you so much!!

💗 Hi there lovely! Thank you for participating in my game, your feedback is greatly appreciated. Sending much love on your journey and take care. Remember, this is just the present energy, and energy is always changing. You are the master of your fate.

blush - if your love life were a movie, what would it be? what is your troupe, your plot, upcoming events, what fictional character you resemble the most in terms of love, etc.

if your love life were a movie, it would be one of those films that starts with a storm, with a lead character who doesn’t yet realize they are on the verge of something transformative. it wouldn’t be a simple, linear romance—it would be layered, filled with moments of tension, self-discovery, and the kind of connection that makes you rethink everything you thought you knew about love. this isn’t a predictable love story where everything falls neatly into place. it’s the kind of film that keeps you guessing, where the emotions are raw, where the timing is never quite right until suddenly, it is.

your trope is lovers who challenge each other, who don’t give in easily, who test one another’s limits not because they don’t care, but because they care too much. there’s a push and pull, a dynamic where both of you want control, where both of you struggle with vulnerability, where love isn’t something that is just given—it’s something that must be earned. you are not someone who loves carelessly. you need something that feels real, that feels intentional, that feels like it has weight. but at times, love has felt like something that requires effort, something that needs to be balanced carefully, something that asks you to always be the one holding it together.

the plot of your love story is about breaking free from that. it’s about learning that love is not a power struggle, that it does not have to feel like something you must constantly navigate like a battlefield. there is a moment coming soon—whether it’s a new connection or an unexpected return—where you will have to decide whether you want to keep repeating old patterns or whether you are finally ready to allow love to come to you freely. no more proving, no more convincing, no more wondering if you are asking for too much.

the fictional character you resemble in love is like maeve wiley from sex education—someone who is brilliant, emotionally complex, fiercely independent, but guarded in a way that makes love both thrilling and terrifying. you want to be understood, but you are also hesitant to let someone truly see you. you love deeply, but you don’t always trust easily. you crave a love that meets you where you are, but you have also built walls to protect yourself from anything that feels too uncertain.

the upcoming twist? a situation where you are forced to be completely honest with yourself about what you actually want from love. maybe it’s an old connection resurfacing, testing whether you are still willing to settle for something half-formed. maybe it’s someone new, offering you the kind of presence that feels unfamiliar because it doesn’t come with chaos or confusion. either way, this is a moment where you will have to choose: will you keep love at a distance because it feels safer, or will you let yourself step fully into something that might be different, but exactly what you need?

your love story isn’t meant to be lighthearted fluff—it is meant to be real, raw, and unforgettable. but that doesn’t mean it has to be difficult. love, when it is right, will not make you question your worth. it will not demand that you prove yourself. it will simply show up, hold its ground, and say, “i am here, if you are ready.” the question is—are you?

[violenthunted]

if anyone is struggling on dumblr rp right now i think i found the secret ingredients.

first, you gotta force yourself to block the people you dislike, the ones you follow out of obligation because they're "popular" / the friends of your friends who are not and don't want to be your friends / the ones who don't spark joy or have iffy vibes. your dash is your responsibility. it's like a garden & you have to take care of it. dumblr will not be your happy place if it's filled with people you dislike / don't care about / people who ignore you on the daily. believe me, you'll be so much happier with them out of the way, even if at first you feel like your corner is small.

second, you have to take the first step. go like people's posts. comment stupid shit. follow first. barge in their dms. who cares. pretend it's facebook, we're in 2010, and everyone is still publishing "i just ate an avocado" as it happens. dumblr isn't just about writing. regardless of how shitty the interface is, it still is a social medium. cause yeah sometimes life kicks your ass and you don't have time to write. and that's okay!! that's why we have plotting and pinterest and discord and spotify. but to do all that you have to establish contact, and sadly everyone's a scared potato who doesn't know how to do it and / or doesn't know how not to be awkward while doing it. so just try!! see how it goes. whoever's on the other side of the screen will either cry from happiness or reveal themselves to not b worthy of ur time. no matter the option, its a win on ur part.

and lil third, unofficial advice : internet friends aren't always real friends. idc that they told you "ILYYYYYY <3333" a thousand times. people say shit they don't mean and don't care how it might influence you. protect yourself. internet drama is fake and doesn't matter. if u feel like u can't take a step away to go touch some grass for a lil while because you're addicted to reloading the dash, you need to force yourself to do it until its easy as breathing. cause internet "friends" will drop you the second you are not needed anymore, and u need to b strong enough to endure that. u can't rely entirely on dumblr to provide for ur social happiness. its not sustainable and it's gonna fuck you up bc. well. relationships on the internet are not as solid as they seem, no matter what we believe. its already hard having irl friends you can see face to face.

if someone on the internet shows you who they are by not doing right by you : trust them. it's not irl. people arent saying shit without thinking. yes internet relationships can be as strong and fulfilling and incredible as irl relationships but they're also more prone to fakeness, fragility and other shortcomings. with dumblr, other people have the opportunity to type on their little keyboards. to wait. to erase. they're choosing to spend time with you, or choosing not to, in a way that is much more evident than irl. (cause the effort to reply to a discord message is tiny compared to the effort of having to meet somewhere, for instance. and internet friendships solely rely on that act of communication) they're choosing to prioritise you, or not. they don't have to face you whenever they do something shitty. whatever anguish & sadness they bring you, they're not worth it.

just look out for yourself out there, okay? be kind, be nice, be patient, and take a step away once in a while to remind yourself out of all the people on the internet, the most important is always gonna b you. cause you're the one who'll have to face your real life once the screen gets shut

[cloudcountry]

SHAKING U GIVE ME ALL THOSE THOUGHTS DUMP THEM ON ME AUBURN IM TREMBLING RN URE GONNA KILL ME

ELLIE OMG PLEASE BOOK FOUR GAVE ME LIKE,,, A HEADACHE BECAUSE THERES SO MUCH GOING ON AND ITS USCH A COMPLICATED SITUATION AND WHHWHGGFWAWFGH

literal essay under cut (oops), book four spoilers just in case!!

im gonna start w kalim because i've ranted about this to my irl friends like SO MANY TIMES BUT. he's canonically super observant (book five if yk yk) AND LIKE,,,,,, he's well meaning. kalimd oesn't WANT to hurt anyone but he's so comfortable with jamil that he feels like he can trust him with anything. because of that he ends up taking advantage of him time and time again. he doesn't think about how jamil feels because kalim thinks he understands jamil. he's the only person kalim can trust because he's been with him through everything, but in doing so he dumps everything on jamil's shoulders and assume that hey, you can carry the entire world for me, right?

but like i said, friends are not people you take advantage of. whether kalim knows it or (and i dont think he does) he just assumes jamil will always be there and never appreciates his worth. its so so so important to remind people in your life that you appreciate them but kalim does it so half heartedly that it doesnt even sound genuine.

and its not kalim's fault that jamil doesn't have the freedom to go as he pleases, at least not completely. it's kalim's entire family that put jamil in that situation, to trap him in the asim family and make that his entire life. jamil is his own person but he's only treated like an extension, and he had to act like he was okay with that for years.

and kalim just smiled. he called jamil his friend and said he was the only one he could trust and yet kalim was blind to everything. he didn't see anything wrong with the way he was treating jamil even though jamil told him time and time again that running off and recklessly doing things isn't okay. kalim constantly shows a blatant disregard for all the effort jamil doesnt even WANT to put into taking care of him.

and even after it all, kalim is still like "but we're friend, right?" jamil doesnt want that. kalim is a constant reminder that all jamil is is an echo of the asim family. they don't see him as his own person and while kalim trying to cling to him may be a coping mechanism (since agian, jamil is his only true friend), it puts so much more pressure on jamil because why would you want to stay with the person that hurt you so much.

i can't imagine how resentful i would be if someone hurt me so bad and held me under their thumb for years, only to smile at me and ask if we're still friends. kalim should have given him space.

ALSO HEY, CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW KALIM IS LITERALLY ONLY A HOUSEWARDEN BECAUSE CROWLEY GOT PAID OFF??? that's corrupt authority sir (not that crowley being corrupt is any surprise.)

[anyonghalimaw]

Honestly, wrt that masking post, I see unmasked people I immediately know that my life isn’t worth anything to them. They’d rather spare themselves the inconvenience of wearing a mask than consider others for one second. I hate it. “Oh it doesn’t do anything on a large scale” a) and argument and b) even if it didn’t. You’re admitting that you consider me and people like me not worth the effort. It’s awful! Not to sound like a child but it hurts my feelings?? Like oh okay cool you don’t care whether vulnerable people live or die. Cool.

literally. like, if i cant rely on someone to do something as small as masking to protect others how can i ever rely on them for other shit? like theyve basically confessed that they dgaf abt other peoples literal lives if it comes at the cost of their own convenience. i also love the assumption that everyone who says to mask up is just a Performative Screeching Virtue Signaling Soapboxing Abled Pretending To Care and not. disabled people? like does op think we all just died off already HELLOOOOOO

and like, its one thing for the average everyday joe schmoe whos pretty unaware of the systems that affect the world (kind of guy that says "i hate mondays" but doesnt understand capitalism is why they hate mondays) to not care, but seeing Self Ided Leftists say "well the government gave up so stop trying it doesnt matter" while still somehow thinking theyre in the right coz they use terms from theory is like. wow. you are a horrible fucking person. i dont know how you can consider yourself a Hashtag Progressive while openly saying Well actually idgaf about disabled people begging for their lives, thats just Posturing and Performative Moralizing ☝️🤓☝️🤓

side note i love how op threw around the word Moralizing™©®™®®™©™©™©® like. believe it or not i think carelessly getting people infected with a severe disease that disables and kills is pretty fucking immoral. holy shit.

like yea one person masking is not Large Scale Collectivist Action but its also literally your community? like. i always see people going "ohh u have to connect with ur community so u can unite u have to have mutual aid u gotta reach out thats how we survive" but i guess that doesnt fucking apply to keeping the vulnerable people in ur community alive lol. going by this logic everyone doing harm reduction by distributing resources like narcan and hygiene kits in their community should just stop coz thats just Individuals too and not part of widespread legislation after all

sorry for using ur ask to drop this absolute dash stretcher of a rant but god fucking damn. im just fucking blown away by the inordinately moronic bullshit and straight up evil rhetoric in that post. jesus fucking christ.

[silent-ink]

gonna be in my cringe era where i write my vents on here because my other social medias are too public

like fuck guys ive genuinely been losing sleep and obsessing over this friendship for the last past months and it is consuming me

i feel like ive stopped seeing this friend in person recently, and when we do none of our interactions feel meaningful or actually enjoyable. And i cant tell how much of it is in my head or just my ocd trying to make me feel bas but i genuinely don’t know if she likes me anymore. Like her actions don’t line up with her words like why are you saying I’m a light in ur life if you barely make an effort to hang out with me??????? Why did you say our friendship was important if you’re just gonna throw it away for some man you’ve been talking to for the last month???? you dont tell me anything anymore im always the last person to find out about shit you are always disrespecting me and im so fucking sick of it

like genuinely you are only friends with me when it’s convenient for you. you have never given up anything for me when it comes to the other things in your life i always come last. do u even know how much i care and worry about you even when you’re not being honest with me about your life?????? I get that you have mental health issues so do i but that doesnt mean you stop talking to someone and ice them out for THREE months. why tf are you pursuing a relationship when u cant even maintain a meaningful friendship in ur life lmao. I hope u realise how just because a connection is shiny and new doesnt mean its more worth it and that its gonna fail if you never learn how to communicate your goddamn feelings like a fucking adult. Like grow up.

Anyways that felt good to get off my chest lol

[crappymixtape]

sorry u don't have to post this

But its so fucking stupid people keep bringing up the same shit- ESPECIALLY people trying to tie it to what is going on on Gaza WHEN LITERALLY WHATEVER HAPPENED BETWEEN EM AND AUTUMN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT

Like im sure both people had distress and were upset about what happened but let's NOT try to act like it is on the same level as a literal genocide

Also yall dont owe us anything. You can share on her or not (while obv i would want u to share denouncing the "war" i am not going to jump down your throat because my friend runs solely a fanfic blog and shares that...little weird and desensitized to see smut after smut then war then smut again. Some people use this to escape reality and yes that is privileged of us but also we have 0 clue what is going on in your personal life etc)

Like...people complain the fandom is dying and are pointing fingers when three are pointing back at themselves like ????????

Anyways love u if u have a way to tell Emmy we care pls do.

abso-fucking-lutely, nonny ( WARNING: i get political and shit up in this, so avoid if you don't have the space )

there is so much happening in the world right now and at the end of the day it's so disheartening and discouraging ( especially for me as a mom ) – idk about you but i NEED this place. i NEED this outlet. somewhere i can try and find joy to refill my cup so i can keep fighting against all this bullshit. so i can recharge and get back out to push for equality and the right to live and against genoc!de and racism and capitalist dicks and the future of this planet and god dammit even just writing that is SO heavy.

so why do we come here and hate on each other for trivial things? why do we come here and pile more shit onto plates that are already full? why are we putting so much energy and effort into pulling each other down when we could be lifting each other up? when even just that small act of support ( or just shutting tf up! ) can make things better or at least not make them worse?

i recognize my privilege and understand opportunities that i have are not accessible to everyone and i work really hard to democratize those opportunities. i work hard to undo my bias, to unlearn, to get comfortable with the uncomfortable and i'd be down to have those conversations with people! but not on anon. and not in an aggressive shitty matter. come to me human-to-human and TALK TO ME. it's how we make progress, it's how we learn from each other. it's how we widen our POV and change our opinions and grow, but doing it with malice and anger is NOT it.

i just truly don't understand. we all have ONE life. why would we spend it filling it with hate and vitriol? it's just not worth it. and i don't have the patience or the time to deal with bullshit. there are bigger things i aspire to, bigger causes that need my energy and commitment and if you're not down or you're on a vendetta to ruin someone's life ( or tumblr rep i guess?? ) then i think you should just go.

this place allows people to keep pursuing something outside of what they're swimming ( or honestly sometimes drowning ) in. it gives us, gives me, the boost to keep fighting the good fight so don't drag us into it.

the ST fandom might feel like it's dying, but there are still some incredible writers on here who share the love and true sentiment of the characters we love so much. as long as i'm here i'll always bring life to steve and eddie. don't let shitty people take it from you. tumblr or not those characters and the way they make you feel will always be yours.

and of course i'll tell emmy, babe ♥️♥️

[virginmiri99]

I dont necessarily want to answer all the asks I got bc theyre all very similar so I'll just sum up a responce:

Tommy did not commit a crime. maybe he did idk but its no grooming, sa, or murder. But even then, no creators would stop supporting him. Look at any evil minded ytbr in the past still receiving tons of support. Doesn't matter what it is

I know everyone's dying to know but I've realized I don't want to directly talk about the rumor ive heard thru the grapevine bc the info is dubious (i personally can believe it) but I have no true way of verifying it. If its not true I don't want to cause damage, but if it is true at least now if someone else breaks the story no one will be blindsided like in a few controversies past. also since I got out of the psych ward and was prescribed 3 different mood stabilizers I've stopped caring abt twitch streamers that are not squeex or ludwig. I just want to remove myself from white british men who provide nothing to the world. None of this is important not even this post. what is important? the falling leaves in a cool autumn breeze. seeing the ones you love and putting effort in for them. also squeex.

I personally feel like I can't support tommy anymore. maybe bc I have a job and a real life and theres no pandemic that leaves me bored and with infinate time. Do i think hes an evil person down to the bone? no--theres so many factors at play you cant really pin a label to it. this is just my personal feelings and I predict it would be a handful of peoples feelings on twt as well. But again I've come to the conclusion I dont want to be the one to break the news. I have no attachment to british ppl anymore bc ive been hyper fixated on my bf who is a real person unlike the dastardly tommyinnit. I just want to plant a seed so in a way if all this is true no one is left blindsided and getting hella rsd. an old witch in a forest passed off a cryptic omen to you....

I still love gossip i cant help it, but I dont want to involve my presence in it bc I dont care that much. I do love a good keke with an anon always

No more hints. but if youre a true stalker it wont be that much of a surprise. No fans involved. dont take things at face value, and question if the stress is truly worth it #noticing . sometimes its better to let things go and grow to new heights (this last bit is for tommy too)

I know some of u will be annoyed that I caused all this ruckus only to leave u hanging but youll be fine. In a way it might be good for you. Sorry if this pissed you off Ithink I'm starting my period like tomorrow soon ive been mad asf and impulsive all week fuck these cars on the road why the hell are there birds in the sky why the hell is my boyfriend playing roblox FIND THE TROLL FACE YOU ARE TOO OLD FOR THAT SHT GETTOUTAHERE like does anyone else literally cringe when they hear that I feel like im being gaslit abt how its amazing is this how normies felt in 2020 when dsmp was blowing up wtf im sick what was i saying? oh yeah. keep watching tommy if u like the content it wont affect your moral standing trust mejust like how I would hate watch onision in middle school sorry yall i was addicted to #hate. and look. I get to see the beauty of nature everyday. yay! ^-^

uhm ...

[achoonihaachu]

hello! do you take request for obey me? if so, i have one in mind and i think you'll be perfect.

trigger warning, by the way.

can i request for an mc who's like extremely depressed and refuse to interact with anyone. this is because they do not want to be attached to anyone and hurt them because they plan to unalive themself before they can return to the human world. they just keep quiet and keep to themselves and the boys just had enough y'know?

like lucifer is tired because of mc's irresponsibility, satan and asmo are worried because mc spends too much time indulging in books (and that meant they're trying to excape something from the outside world) and they seem not to take care of themself, beel too because mc doesnt eat that much, diavolo is somewhat scared bc it may cause the downfall of the program but is also concerned for the human's wellbeing, solomon is trying to conjure a spell so that he'll know what's up, and the angels just trying to atleast make mc smile.

how do you will they react? (especially when they find out about mc's plan) and how will they be able to cheer up mc so that they will not continue their plan anymore.

what will their reaction be if they succeed to make mc feel at home and finally happy after years of drowning?

im sorry if its too long aaaa, i've just been feeling under the weather lately and i needed some fluff from the obey me characs.

if you decided to do this request, i thank you for your time and effort! blessed be.

Stay a Minute More

a/n: hi! so i decided to do this request before i post any of the other work i’ve done because i just felt so drawn in by this. The way you described your request is… well, to put it lightly, i deal with my own demons (the unsexy kind) and topics like these just find a way to get to me, y’know? I’m sorry if that doesn’t make any sense but your request is a sort of self-indulgent moment i think i need to take my time in. i needed to let some emotions i’ve let build up out and… i just genuinely needed this so thank u for requesting it. For us both, i’ve written fluff at the end bc i need to make up for the angst- and also because we deserve better than the cards we’ve been dealt. i decided to just do this for the brothers, i might do something similar for the dateables one day, not too sure yet! Stay safe out there, okay? Just remember that you’re loved and that my messages are always open to you if you ever need someone to talk to <33

Warnings: heavy topics, cursing, fighting, mentions of su!cide, heavy mention of s*lf-h4rm, self-h4tred, self-deprecation, mentions of panic 4ttacks, anx!ety, d*pression. implications of gasl!ghting, implications of e4ting d!sorders, heavy spoilers for lesson 16, extreme angst but comfort will come!, fic then headcanon, slightly proofread

word count: 7.7k

if you are having su!cidal thoughts or any sort of issues with your mental health, please please seek professional help! you are deserving of love and good mental health, please do not read this if you think that it could be triggering! we love you, okay? <33

--------

The world is such a beautiful sight when you stand on the rooftops of tall buildings. You realize that you’re this small thing in a vast world and in the end, you question whether anything is worth anything at all. Sunsets have always held a special place in your heart; They indicate that though ever beautiful, they’re the first sign of the end.

Oh to be as beautiful as a sunset. You were afraid you’d be leaving a train wreck instead.

For a moment in time, as you grow close to those in the Devildom, you forgot. You were able to forget. You were able to smile again after what felt like years of heartache and you couldn’t wish for anything else.

But during nights like these, you wish that Belphie was successful in killing you.

Your ceiling was an empty slate, save for the single lightbulb screwed in tight in the center. You were too aware of everything in that moment; the way your skin felt as it rubbed against the soft cotton of your blanket, the way your hair splayed against the pillow resting under your head, it was too much and you weren’t even sure why you were feeling this way.

Two months; You were leaving in two months.

You clutched at your throat as you felt as though you were being strangled all over again by phantom hands trying to end your suffering. You weren’t too sure if the ghosts in the House of Lamentation were playing a trick on you but for a moment, you stopped prying at the faux constriction. You almost felt at peace at being given an easy way out. Your vision blurred as your mind went a million miles a minute.

Should you let it take you in your sleep?

Your breathing, erratic and shallow, leveled quickly. It left as soon as it came and a part of you felt guilty for being annoyed that you lived through another one of those… Another panic attack on your own.

You glance at the clock that hung on a wall of your room; 4 AM, like fucking clock work.

You were getting so tired of this whole routine; You were so afraid of losing the life you built and you didn’t know how to deal with going back home to a life you were unhappy in.

You finally made an agreement with yourself.

If you were going to go back to being unhappy in the human world, you’d rather leave this life with happy memories of what you had.

You were going to take your life when you go back home.

Day by day, the brothers saw how you pulled away. At first, there were small changes. You opted out of going out to buy coffee, you took your food back to your room for supper, and you stopped coming down for family nights. The brothers chalked it up to human hormones, humans have always been strange creatures.

Then the bigger changes started happening. You switched to taking your classes online, like Levi. Your beautiful smile, something they’ve grown to love so, stopped making appearances altogether. You bathed less and less, you stopped taking care of yourself and you just… weren’t the MC they loved.

Satan would try to get you to join him in the library but you’d always have your nose stuck in your book before he could ask and whenever he tried sitting beside you, you’d smile sheepishly at him, albeit a bit forced, and you’d walk to your room. You weren’t you and they were all starting to notice.

The fighting started when you failed three different tests. You had gotten your test results printed because Lucifer expected to see your papers; something about not wanting you to start slacking off since you’re always at home now. You had a particularly bad day, you had started refusing to eat anything in fear of gaining any weight and your hair was starting to fall out. You held back the sobs that threatened to tear out of your throat as you stared at the clump of hair laying in the center of your palm. You heard the brothers come home from RAD and you were quick to throw a hoodie on because…

Well, how would you go about explaining the fresh, shallow red lines decorating your skin to the Sins?

You snuck out of your room quickly; You just needed to leave your tests on the table in the common room for Lucifer then you could go back to your room to hide. It didn’t go according to what you had planned because the moment you threw the papers on the table, you walked backwards into a sturdy chest and strong arms.

“Yo! Where are ya headin’ off to so soon, (MC)?” Mammon, why’d you have to come at such an awful time?

Lucifer strolls into the room casually, he greets you as he eyes the small stack of papers tossed haphazardly onto the coffee table. You held your breath as he walks over and grabs it with nimble fingers, “It’s good to see you actually leave your room, (MC)-” His voice falters in his throat as he scans the papers. You stared down at the ground, afraid of what was about to come.

“(MC), explain to me how you got the lowest scores in all of RAD.” His voice was low and deadly. You remain stuck where you stood as Mammon starts to step away. As much as he loved you, he wasn’t willing to get in the way of Lucifer’s bubbling anger. The eldest stalked over to you slowly, you could feel his anger roll off him in uncontrollable waves, “Listen Luci, I haven’t had a good day. Can we please have this conversation some other-”

“I said explain your rubbish results, (MC).”

You grit your teeth as you watch him throw your test papers to the ground by your feet. “I don’t have to explain myself to you, Lucifer.” You spin on your heel and run out of the room, ignoring the calls and pleas of the other brothers as you push past them. You chose not to come down for dinner… You didn’t come down for breakfast the next day either. Lucifer seemed to have ignored your presence entirely because he made no effort to apologize but a part of you felt guilty as you heard Asmodeus and Mammon talk to you from the other side of the door, reminding you to take the food they left on a tray before Beel got to it. You left it untouched.

The trash can in the corner of your room was overfilled with bloodied tissue papers and used blades for a few days after that.

You grew small and frail as the weeks went by. Lucifer distanced himself from you, he had never been good at apologizing so you didn’t hold it against him. He’d be a fool though if he assumed that you’d come crawling, begging for his forgiveness. You could feel that the other brothers were either growing increasingly worried or they were starting to get tired of you; maybe it was the illogical part of your brain that made you paranoid. Perhaps the lack of nutrition was starting to get to you but you felt as though the rest of the occupants in the house hated you.

You weren’t aware of how much they truly cared though.

You weren’t aware of the sleepy white-haired demon that camps out by your door every night just hoping, praying, to catch you if you try to sneak out to grab the food they’d always bring up to you. You weren’t aware of how badly Mammon wanted to wrap you up in his arms in a tight hug; you weren’t aware of how worried he was.

You didn’t know that Asmo was constantly refreshing your socials to see if you were posting anything at all on how you were feeling; From your private accounts to your fan accounts, he’d try to stay updated on your life online because he didn’t know how you were feeling anymore. Your last post dated back to a month ago and it was a group picture of you and the brothers on a small trip you all went on. His smile wavered as he saw how vibrant you looked in the picture. The fifth-born would give anything to have your spunky energy around the house again. What he’d give to see you and Mammon cause trouble again.

You didn’t know that the youngest was taking naps every hour to try and catch you when you went to sleep. You didn’t know that he was in your dreams trying to soothe you whenever you had nightmares. Once he figured out that your sleep schedule was erratic, he kept a small journal to keep track of how long you slept each night. He realized that you slept at dawn and you woke up five minutes before your classes began. You weren’t aware of how badly Belphie wanted to help but didn’t know how to so he did what he does best… He sleeps.

You didn’t know how hard it was for Beel to leave your food untouched in the hallway. He’d pass by your room every night and fight the urge that built in his very being to just scarf down everything including the tray before you could take it. You’d hear a soft knock on your door after the brothers eat dinner, like clockwork every night. Beel would leave his room at midnight for one of his many snack runs and there were a few nights when he’d see that a small bowl of food would be empty and on those nights he’d feel for your pact and smile as he felt you indulge in his sin ever so slightly. Those were what he considered good nights. He’d leave a small packet of chips by your door on those nights. He’s elated to see that you’d take them in the hours he slept.

You didn’t know that Levi was well aware of your late night crying sessions. He turned down the volume of his computer one night and he heard your soft cries echo from the room opposite to his. His heart broke from how devastated your cries sounded, it was like you had lost all hope in life and you just resorted to crying to release some of the suffocating pressure building in your chest. You didn’t know that he’d lean against his door in his room and listen to your hushed cries; he didn’t tell anyone. He didn’t ask you about it because who on Earth would even want to confide in a gross otaku like him, anyways? He did what he thought was best. He listened.

Five of the seven were stuck; they kept finding themselves at dead ends and they could feel you slip away, slowly but it was happening. It’s hard to be blessed with intelligence so vast that you’re practically this walking encyclopedia. Satan was this onlooker; he could see the symptoms, he sensed it all develop and fester, but he didn’t jump in to do anything. A part of him regrets not doing anything early on but who was he to dictate how you felt? He was a creature of pure unadulterated wrath and hatred, he was born from the anger in Lucifer’s heart. He couldn’t possibly look you straight in the eyes and tell you to feel a certain way.

He knew in himself that there were abandoned towns in the Devildom obliterated and left as mere piles of ash from days when he was unable to keep a clear train of thought; when he let his emotions take over, nothing was safe. He was afraid that one day, your emotions would blind you from making logical decisions.

He was afraid that one day soon, you’d put yourself in harm’s way.

Lucifer knew that he was far from the perfection he tries to portray himself as. He knows that he’s done so much damage to the people around him; he’s like a bomb that keeps exploding. He takes his anger out on Mammon, who does nothing but “mess up”, was the perfect scapegoat- the perfect excuse to let him get away with the shit he does. He wants the people around him to be just as perfect as he tries to be, to be… almost robotic with how structured he tries to make his life out to be. He tries to justify his actions, his heart tells him that he does this out of the love he has for his family and his friends but how do you justify pushing everyone away because you try to control them? He knows he’s indebted to you and that’s what scares him. You came into his life and you mend what’s broken. You fixed a family torn to shreds… His family that he tore to shreds. He’s afraid of how much power you truly hold but then he sees cracks in your strong facade. He feels bad, guilty even, but he tries to chip away at your flaws. He sees that you’re hurting but he’s never been good at comfort. He’s always had to play the role of the perfect parental figure, the perfect older brother able to juggle all the responsibilities of the world but still have time to come home for dinner. He didn’t know where to start and a part of him hoped that one of his brothers would bring it up for dinner so that they could all discuss but none of them ever did.

So he observes you.

He sees the healing lines on your skin, your arms were like lined pieces of paper from a notebook. They were long and varying in how deep they went; but he knew that your pain went deeper than just superficial scars. He sees how hard you try to hide them so he never comments on them. When you start to pull away, he gets frustrated and he tries to fish your problems out of you by badgering you. He’s always done this with his brothers- none of them ever truly open up to him so he does what he does best. He’s harsh with them and eventually, they open up by screaming at him about how broken they were and that was how they, as a family, work on their problems.

You’ve never really been the type to raise your voice though.

He never meant to push you even further out into the lake of dread you were already drowning in. His pride just… It never let him out of it’s cold hold; he was never able to apologize.

The eldest confided in his best friend-slash-boss. Diavolo had planned the whole exchange program out, he was supposed to know how to deal with a situation like this; they were supposed to be prepared for anything and everything but even the redhead had drawn up blank conclusions and unrealistic game plans.

Weeks of this go by and Lucifer has had enough; You were leaving to go back home to the human realm in three weeks. He didn’t want the remaining time they had with you to be tense and unenjoyable. He walked up to your door and took a deep breath, he glanced at his feet and saw that you hadn’t touched the food on your tray again. He grimaces and knocks on your door with a steady hand, “(MC)? Can we please talk?” His voice was smooth, he was able to mask his nerves rather well. No answer. He fidgets slightly where he stood before his fist raps against the door once more, a little harder than before. “(MC)?”

He hears shuffling and rustling form behind the door, he didn’t realize he was holding in a breath until he sighed at that moment. You crack the door open just a tad, you only showed half your face and your hair was tucked under the hood of your oversized hoodie. To say you looked like a wreck would be an understatement. The bags under your eyes contrast darkly against the complexion of your dry skin- skin that was once supple and smooth from all the care you put into your appearance. Your cheeks were sunken in ever so slightly and for the first time in about a month, he was finally able to take a proper look at you.

And what he saw scared him.

“(MC)? W-What happened to you?”

At that moment, all hell broke loose. You open your mouth to talk and no sound comes out. The stress you were constantly experiencing became too much and seeing the person you were most afraid of disappointing look at you with eyes so full of concern… It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. In your mind, it became clear to you; he knew you were a complete basket case. You closed your eyes and braced for harsh words and disdain to be thrown your way- maybe a “(MC), this is unbecoming of an exchange student. You’re a disgrace.” something along those lines.

Nothing came.

You crack an eye open slightly and see Lucifer still staring at you and the moment you two made eye contact, your eyes began to well up with tears. “I-” Where do you even begin? Do you begin with the overwhelming feeling of sadness? The unending void in your heart of darkness and doubt? How do you explain to him that you… You were broken? You were tired?

Lucifer pushes the door in gently, you take a few steps back without so much of a push or any sort of fight; Your room was a complete mess. Books were strewn around and a small stack laid by your bed. Tissues, both used and unused, were thrown about on the floor. Small chip packets were empty and left on your desk. Your D.D.D was turned on and was left on your bed.

The mess gave him the slightest of headaches but there was just one thing that scared him.

Your trashcan.

One sniff of the air and he caught a whiff of that familiar metallic scent. You would think that someone who has lived for literal millenia would get used to the stench of dried human blood but yours… Your blood was different. It smelt sweet and felt gentle- comforting. Your scent was comforting and to smell it at the point where it smelt so rotten and dead…

He couldn’t choke back the gag that left his throat.

He turns to you and sighs in utter disbelief, “(MC)...” Now, perhaps it was the fear you felt from all the possible reactions Lucifer might have or perhaps the lethargy you fought off with all those cups of coffee had finally caught up with you but your vision blurred. Your knees buckled under your weight and you stumbled into Lucifer’s arms. “I- I’m sorry.” You whisper before you let the darkness pull you into unnerving serenity.

Lucifer screamed for his brothers, all of whom were, fortunately, at home. The first to run in was Mammon, followed by Satan, then the twins, then finally Asmo and Levi. The first thing they react to is the scent of death that clung onto the air, then in the millisecond that follows, they see you laying in Lucifer’s arms on the floor.

What the fuck happened?

Satan, ever the observant one, notices the small flipped notebook that was thrown under your pillow. May God in Heaven aid in his journey to ask for forgiveness one day for what he was about to do. He quickly grabs the notebook and flips to the first page. You had started the journal when you first started to act differently. The first page always held something important. He quickly reads through the scribbled writing and he drops the notebook.

You had written, “My time is almost up. I’m grateful for the brothers but I need to leave soon. Sunsets have always been my favorite. I hope they can forgive me for what I’ll do when I go home.”

His eyes land on the bloodied razorblade wrapped in tissue laying in your trashcan.

“They planned on…”

“No..”

Lucifer:

He’s never been good at handling extreme emotions. He’s always been the type to bottle things up.

Seeing you in that state shook him to his core.

He and his brothers were quick to bundle you up in layers upon layers of blankets; you were cold but you were breathing and that was the most important thing to him.

He had been the first person to see you, he knew you hadn’t planned on doing anything at that moment.

He knew that you were tired and scared and… With what Satan had said, it seemed like you were simply exhausted.

Diavolo offered to take you back to the human realm to get you treated and to get you to a place where… issues like these would be handled by professionals but to everyone’s surprise, Lucifer was the most adamant to not let you go home.

He was on the brink of attacking the Prince for even suggesting something as “idiotic” as letting you leave when you needed them the most.

He was practically glued to your side as you rested. He was the one to change your bandages, he took your vitals in the way Satan taught him, he watched over you like an angel, ironically enough.

He was ever so gentle with you, he never raised his voice in the house as you rested for fear of startling you awake and triggering something.

He was the first person you saw when you woke up for your long nap, you slept for an entire day.

He fed you and helped you drink water but you were stubborn (you always have been, he thinks) and you tried to assure him that you’re alright.

He, of course, does not believe you.

He forbids you from getting up and he calls upon his brothers and he holds a meeting in your room.

Satan, the little snitch he was, told you that he had seen your journal and all the brothers knew of what you were planning when you made it back home.

You burst out in tears; you never meant to let them know in advance.

Lucifer let his brothers take care of you; He watched on the sideline as his brothers wrapped you up into a tight group hug.

When you and him were left alone, though, he walked over to you and gave you the most comforting, tight embrace.

“I don’t know how deep your struggles go. You’ve always been so brave but never forget that we are here for you. You can lean on me, you can learn to trust me.”

He sits you down one day and apologizes for all he’s done; the harsh treatment, the backhanded comments, everything.

He knows that though he’s as flawed as they come, he was willing to let go of his pride to help you.

The journey to get better is long, he knows that trauma and years of battling with depression and anxiety can’t be undone or forgotten in a day, but he will be there every step of the way.

Mammon:

A part of him despised being so attached to a mortal being.

He knew that your time with them was limited and yet he was so careless to just let you grab ahold of his heart- he let you steal it so freely but he never regretted it.

Because he got to love you.

Seeing you pull away from him, from his brothers, and from the life you’ve grown to love- it scared him but he didn’t want to seem paranoid.

If only he acted on those concerns.

Seeing you so pale in the arms of his brother knocked all the wind from his chest.

He fell to his knees and snatched you out of his brother’s arms. He cradled your frame so tenderly and took hold of your face in his hands with shaky resolve.

He couldn’t play off the tears that streamed down his face as he croaked out for everyone to get out.

He could still hear, feel your heartbeat and it was stable enough. He wasn’t worried about that, no, he was worried about what Satan had just read out.

You were going through all of the torment on your own? Why wasn’t he able to pick up on it?

He was your first man, your first demon pact-

He cried quietly as he watched over you for hours; he only left your side twice, once to grab you food and the other time to go to the washroom.

When you woke up, the first thing you saw was Mammon’s face plastered right up to yours and his bi-colored eyes were brimmed with tears.

“Never ever think that you’re all alone when you deal with your problems again. Do you understand, human?!... I’m always here for you.”

He was one of the “nicer” brothers, he never tried harming you and he’s got a small inkling that your rocky start in the Devildom had an effect on you that you never opened up about.

He already held a small grudge against the youngest and seeing you in this state, his anger flared even more.

It took a long talk and a lot of convincing on your end to get him to understand that your struggles have been… a part of you for a long time, his brothers were never the problem.

After hearing that, he simply holds you in his arms, the blush on his face be damned, as he whispers to you that he’ll be there for you for the rest of time to help you through all your bad days and that he’d celebrate with you on all your good ones.

Leviathan:

He had to be lured out by Asmo, his music was playing quite loudly and he, to this day, regrets leaving the music on so loud that day.

Levi is the type to want to bury himself in his hobbies to distract himself from his problems.

He thinks, “If I don’t see my problems, if I don’t think of my problems, do I even have any problems at all?”

He only realizes that it’s not the best of coping mechanisms; seeing you so frail and tired-looking woke him up to that reality.

He feels this overwhelming sense of guilt; he wasn’t there for you enough, he didn’t look out for the signs, he didn’t- he wasn’t-

He wasn’t doing enough for you.

That was why you felt the way you did.

One glance at you, one glance at his panicked brothers- it was too much. He spins on his heel and marches back into his room to dry heave over his trash can.

He feels awful for not being there for you.

Asmo and Satan took turns in trying to coax him out of his room after they cleaned you up and laid you down to recuperate.

He only left when Satan provided photo evidence that you were asleep.

He couldn’t muster up the courage to look you in the eye to try and reassure you that everything would be okay.

He would have hourly check-ins with you as the day progressed.

He was actually just dropping by to check if you were still sleeping soundly when you suddenly woke up.

He was about to rush out of the room but you, despite being groggy, were able to grab his hand.

You had to beg him to stay.

“I-I’m sorry that you had to deal with your problems on your own for so long, (MC). I can’t promise you that the journey from now will be smooth sailing but… I’m here, okay? Even if you don’t need me around, obviously who’d need a yucky otaku- mmh!”

You had to shut him up by dragging him weakly down into a hug.

He’s not good with showing physical affection but he tries his best for you.

He comes out of his room more often after the whole ordeal, he’s glued to you like gum on pavement but he tries to keep it nonchalant.

(He beats Mammon with a stick for the seat right beside yours during mealtime)

On the days where it seems too hard to fight off those dark thoughts, he gently pulls you off into his room to binge watch a new series and on particularly bad days, he’s able to muster up the courage to pull you onto his lap and he holds you tight as a cute slice of life show plays quietly in the background.

Satan:

His heart sank to the bottom of his stomach when he saw you on that fateful day, in the arms of Lucifer looking so absent of life.

As the unofficial detective of the family, he’s quick to scan the room for what could’ve happened because Lucifer wasn’t much help- The eldest was in shock.

He’s the first to see the journal, the first to know what was really wrong and when he read those words… He was rendered speechless.

He couldn’t explain anything to his brothers, all he could do was repeat the words he read before he handed the notebook over to the brother standing closest to him, who just so happened to be Asmo.

He knelt beside you with a somber smile on his face; He knew that you’d be okay, he didn’t feel the need to panic but he swore to himself to never let it get this bad ever again.

Though he wasn’t too panicky, he was obviously a little antsy. He rushed around the house to get you anything you needed or might want when you woke up; From blankets to food to bottles of water, as long as he deemed it important, he grabbed it.

By the end of it, your room was kind of like a tiny supermarket, full of small boxes of necessities.

Thanks to his endless knowledge on medicine and on the field in general, he was able to take notes of your vitals (he knew how to work an oximeter and a glucometer and at that moment, he felt quite proud of himself-)

He checked in on you regularly and during one of his many vital checks, you roused. He was quick to give you water and a small piece of bread; He read somewhere in his countless books that small bits of food was best for patients who were undernourished and you were his responsibility. (Please let Satan play doctor-)

You didn’t particularly mind the care he and his brothers showed, in a way you felt a little bad that they were spending so much time and energy on you but Satan got rid of those thoughts quickly.

“Stop that nonsense, (MC). You have taken such good care of us and you’ve shown us the love we’ve craved for millenia. You accepted me on my worst days so… Let me love you during yours.”

He brought in his favorite loveseat from his room to yours and he spent about a week with you. He would read you stories to help you fall asleep and during the nights when you’d wake up from nightmares of panic attacks, he'd jump into bed with you and just hold you till your heart rate steadied.

Asmodeus:

The fifth-born closed his eyes and refused to breathe in the air.

He was sure that that image would haunt him for months. Seeing you, the only person who loved him past the glamor and the perfect facade he put up, look so deathly-

He screwed his eyes shut so that the tears wouldn’t be able to escape.

He heard Satan say something but his mind didn’t quite process it until he felt a small book be thrust into his hands.

He made sure to turn away from your unconscious body before he opened the book.

Page after page detailed the emotions you felt for the last few weeks and he could feel his heart break with every word you wrote.

You were fighting off these… these demons in your head. You braved through countless nights of dealing with such complex emotions on your own and it all caught up to you… They were none the wiser.

He ran out of the room to comprehend it all.

Don’t get him wrong; he’d love to sit by your side through this all and finally give you the reassurance that you’re not and have never been alone in your struggles but… He wasn’t strong enough to handle seeing you look so frail.

He decided that it’d be better to be honest with himself and with you; he wasn’t the best brother to approach when it came to these things but he’d be damned if he didn’t try (more damned than he already was seeing as he… well, he’s a demon-)

He went on hiatus online. Yes, the social media-obsessed Asmodeus deleted all his social media for a few days and he shut off his phone as he worked with his brothers in making you feel comfortable.

He stockpiled a bunch of lotions and medicine that would help you in physically healing your wounds.

He’s a firm believer that though scars represent hardships you’ve managed to overcome, they don’t dictate the type of person you are. He believes that helping you get rid of the scars could help in your process of healing from your past.

He’d sit beside you when you woke up a few hours later and he’d start crying as he held you gently.

“My dear, why on Earth would you hide all of that from us? We love you so much and you’re such an important part in our lives… We’re here for you, okay?!”

Your replies were muffled with his smothering as he squished his face against yours; He muttered something about physical affection being a great way to relieve stress. (he read one of Satan’s medicine books briefly and he saw that ”a hug a day could keep the depression away-”)

He’d make sure that you ate all the food being given to you, though he’d never force feed you because he knows just how hard it could be to go back to a life deemed normal after weeks of going through something so difficult.

He’d gossip with you about the most mundane things, like how Satan would stay in the kitchen with Beel and Belphie just making different types of soup (he’d never mention that they were making soup for you-), then the gossip would turn into reminiscing about the days when the the twins were still babies, then how life was like before they met you. (He’d also talk about how Lucifer was such a pain in the ass back in the day because he was their Father’s favorite, meaning the eldest was a kiss ass, and how he’d tattle on all of them getting into all sorts of trouble but you shouldn’t ever mention these stories to the Avatar of Pride… For his sake.)

He’d just talk to you to make you feel like… Whatever happened to you in the past, before you met them, did not define who you are. He’d treat you like the same MC, the person you’ve always been, and he’d remind you every single day that no matter what happens, he’d always be there to support you along the way.

Beelzebub:

He was the brother everyone considered to be the most innocent. He’s this big, tall demon with the capability of consuming a person whole if he so chooses but his heart was kind and as pure as gold.

He’d do anything to keep you out of harm's way.

But… how does he protect you from the thoughts running rampant in your head?

How does he even go about trying to act like the big, strong protector that he claims to be when he couldn’t be there for you when you needed him the most?

He stands silently by the door as his other brothers rush around trying to help you.

His heart was shattered upon hearing Satan repeat what he had read but he didn’t have time to sulk or let the feeling of guilt linger; he had work to do.

He grabbed Belphie and marched into the kitchen.

For a moment, the seventh-born tried arguing with his twin, about how it wasn’t a good time to indulge in his sin but those words died down in his throat as Beel pulled out raw ingredients; He’d never eat raw food first, especially with the boxes upon boxes of chips they had bought the night prior.

The ginger got to work, he chopped all the ingredients he needed to make a giant pot of his favorite soup.

He ignored the loud rumbling of his stomach as he stirred the stock. Belphie was genuinely impressed by the restraint his brother was showing. It had been about an hour or two since they left you in the very capable hands of their brothers.

The youngest was sleeping on the counter, Satan walked in to grab about 9 bottles of water and a dozen individually wrapped sweet pastries, Asmodeus silently watched him cook the soup that Lucifer used to make them when they were younger.

When he was done, the house smelled amazing. He took a giant serving and brought it up to you on a tray.

You were awake when he walked in. Surprisingly, his brothers had left you alone to give you a moment to breathe and process and you were actually quite hungry. (Beel could sense it in you, he could hear your stomach grumble softly.)

You smiled sheepishly at him as he watched you scarf down the delicious soup he made.

“I know I’m not the best at words but I hope that you can trust me from now on. If not me then my brothers can help you. Let us protect you and care for you like you’ve done for us.”

He would let you be, he didn’t know how to put in words how relieved he was simply seeing you eat and regain a bit of the color you lost. He busied himself in the kitchen; he snacked, of course, but he made you all sorts of food for the next few days.

He needed to make sure that you were eating well and taking care of yourself. Seeing you indulge in his sin gave him some sort of hope; Perhaps he could finally be there for you at the start of this new chapter in your life, a chapter free from heartache.

Belphegor:

He had an inkling of what you were going through; Your dreams would sometimes take this nasty turn and he’d always do his best in giving you some sense of peace.

Seeing you in Lucifer’s arms… It solidified this fear he never realized he had about losing you.

The flashbacks he got, seeing you look so pale- He was frozen on the spot.

Satan’s voice sounded muffled, he sounded so far away.

You felt that way all this time? The mind fuck it must’ve been for you when he… he succeeded in killing you.

He only managed to get pulled out of the spiraling mindset he was getting sucked into was because Beel pulled him to the kitchen.

He was quiet as he thought back on all the days you spent helping him get out of the attic. The hushed laughter from all the somewhat tasteless jokes you, him, and Satan made of Lucifer during the early days of the Anti-Lucifer League.

It all hit him like a truck in one single moment as Beel chopped Devildom onions; He was terrified of losing you like he lost Lilith.

He shed a few tears he blamed on the onions.

He, like a majority of his brothers, was not good at handling intense emotions like fear or anger or even love. Love scared him, it scared all of them, because loving someone like you was practically guaranteed heartbreak.

You weren’t meant for forever and now he finds out that… You were trying to cut it even shorter?

He closes his eyes and rests his head on the marble countertop.

He finds sweet escape in his dreams but everywhere he looks, he sees your face; He sees you smiling, crying. He sees your angry frown and even the face you make when you get scared from the horror movies you binged together.

He’s the youngest, he wasn’t used to being stuck. He was so used to his brothers solving all other problems they’ve ever faced but it didn’t feel right for him to sit on the sidelines during a time when you needed them all.

He concentrates and finds himself in your dreamless slumber. This empty, black abyss was sort of soothing in a way. He’s comforted by the fact that you’re alive and safe from nightmares. He decides then to pitch in.

He waits for Beel to leave with a bowl the size of a human’s cooking pot balanced on the tray in his hands before he gets up.

He lets Beel take some time with you and when he was sure that all his other brothers were busy doing their own things, he walks to your room.

“Listen, (MC). Just… Just because I made the mistake of taking your life, doesn’t give you the right to try leaving us early, okay? You’ve still got so much to do with all of us so.. Stay.”

You blinked at him and for a moment, he felt bad for the potentially awfully timed joke (of when he killed the other you… y’know that one time-) but when he sees you crack a smile…

He just knew that this meant something.

He walked over to you and pulled you into a tight embrace before he awkwardly walked out of the room.

He checks in on you every now and then, he brings you one of those extremely processed cans of Devildom Deadly Nightshade… the poisonous berries.

Obviously he got you the type you, as a human, could actually eat- but he got you to laugh at the ironic thought that he’d still be trying to kill you.

Again, Belphie wasn’t the best at… emotions. Frankly, he was quite bad at dealing with situations like this but seeing you go back to the you he knew… Seeing you slowly go back to running around the halls with Mammon as Lucifer chased you both.

He knows that they got you to stay a minute more… A minute that turned into an hour. They had you for another day, another week, another year, another decade.

About two weeks go by and the brothers observe you. They weren’t too sure on how to go about gauging your recovery; Were you even recovering?

They decide to take you on a trip to the human world, a few days before you have to go home.

They felt anxious about the whole thing- Were they ready to let you go? They knew that they weren’t saying goodbye but after that fateful day, it felt like this sense of impending doom. Surely, you weren’t going to do anything.

They brought you to this gorgeous beach, somewhere hidden away from all the tourists and the loud locals. It was a quaint little place that they found thanks to Levi. You were practically glowing in the sunlight, the orange that bled into red and yellow. The sky was painted so perfectly and the Sun was dipping down the horizon, slowly but surely.

The sea breeze was salty and you all found a spot by the edge where the water and the shore met. Lucifer and Satan set up the blankets, Beel and Asmo got the food out of the picnic baskets, and Mammon, Levi and Belphie readied the things needed to start a bonfire.

You stood by the water, your toes dipping into the waves that came and went. You were silent throughout the whole thing, it was quite unnerving to be frank. The brothers left you to your own accord; they didn’t want to assume anything in fear of offending you. When things were set up, they decided to join you by the waves.

“What’s gotten you so intrigued, (MC)?”

“I used to love sunsets. They always were so beautiful but in a way, they were always so sad because it always signified the end. The end of the day but also the end of something we learned to love.” You trail off for a moment, your eyes focused squarely on the setting sun.

“Night time scared me because it always meant that I’d be alone again. I’d have to go through the nightmares and the panic attacks alone. I hated night time.”

The brothers exchange glances worriedly. Where was this going?

“You made me realize that sunsets don’t always mean the end. Night time doesn’t always mean I’m alone. I was never able to appreciate the beauty of the stars or the Moon because I was scared.”

“You helped me realize that the sun rises again,” You turn to them and smile brightly.

“You made me want to stay a minute more.”

[kpophubb]

hello!! just want to know ur thoughts; who do u think in enhypen is mtl to be dating someone right now? or do you think its still early for them to think about dating?

❥☾ᴇɴʜʏᴘᴇɴ : 𝕄𝕋𝕃 𝕥𝕠 𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕖 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕟𝕠𝕨

☯︎︎ᴊᴀᴋᴇ:~

I feel like Jake would be the most down to dating s/o right now. He has a really loving spirit and it’s a given that he wants to be loved and receive someone’s affection, even romantically. He believes in fiery love, love that sets your heart on fire almost instantly and is adventurous and gives you a crazy ride of emotions. However, he’d balance his relationship out really well, being able to give his s/o time and make efforts for her while still prioritising his schedule first. He’d also be cautious and not let the relationship slip at all costs, bc he cares more about your safety than his career. He wants you to stay away from the toxic fans and hatred. Moral of the story is, if Jake finds the girl he’s been looking for, it doesn’t matter if it’s now or later, he won’t waste a single second to have her in his life and make her his own! Very romantic and precious boy hehe<3

☯︎︎ʜᴇᴇsᴇᴜɴɢ:~

Heeseung is old enough,20 years old so it’s natural for him to be in a few relationships by now. However being the oldest, he’s wise and mature so he knows the risks of dating in his career. Not someone who will be into play dating right now cause it’s NOT worth getting fired for or getting in trouble for. He’s very passionate about his idol life so unless he finds someone who he ABSOLUTELY wants to spend the rest of his life with, he won’t get into dating now. If he does with that someone, he’s gonna be so so loving with her my god! Always takes care of her and even requests for breaks on weekends so he can go see her and spend time with her. Very doting boyfie and ofc husband material 11/10. Will always talk about his girl with heart eyes infront of the boys and even introduce her to them!

☯︎︎ᴊᴀʏ:~

Commitment is very important to jay. He will be 20 soon and he’s not against the idea of dating. But if he does date someone, it’s gonna be someone he really loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with. If he is gonna make the effort of putting the responsibility of a relationship into his already busy life where he works so hard, he’s gonna do it depending on the person. It doesn’t matter if he dates her now, or later if he truly loves someone and wants her, it will all happen in an instant. He just feels like the person to be in a long term relationship because of how loyal and honest he is. The kind of relationship where you date someone for many years, go through thin and thick situation with them, spend the storms and rainbows together and eventually marry them and grow old together. And if it starts at a young age like now, all the more better cause you will be able to grow and glow together, side by side.

☯︎︎sᴜɴɢʜᴏᴏɴ:~

Ok so sunghoon might develop crushes and flirt with a few co-idols he likes but idts he’d get himself into a relationship right now. The relationship might be based on a fling and last highest 1-2 months but he won’t take it further. If possible he’d avoid building any sort of serious relationship with someone and as I mentioned before, date one or two people for a few months. It’s a crucial time for enhypen’s growth and he wants to keep his mind fixated on success and making more of his dreams come true. If he is really gonna fall in love and have a girl he really wants to be with, it might as well be after a few years when he’s more mature and can handle it and pour his efforts more into it.

☯︎︎sᴜɴᴏᴏ:~

From the way sunoo is so focused on his growth now and how he’s constantly trying to explore more sides of him and present cooler sides of him to the world, I’m fairly convinced dating is not something he will indulge into now. He will develop a few crushes on people here and there, and find a few people cute but he won’t make an effort into getting to know them more in fear of getting attached cause he knows when he gets attached to someone he is HOOKED. He will get excited and bubbly when he likes someone and giggle a lot, imagine a lot of fake scenarios with her inside his head and smile but he will leave it at that. In his line of sight, self improvement is the most important thing now and he can’t afford anything else as a distraction.

☯︎︎ɴɪᴋɪ:~

Nah, niki is definitely not gonna date anyone right now. He’s only 16 rn and tho we all had atleast one relationship by now, niki won’t and can’t because his life is so different from a ordinary person his age. He has to work really hard, stay away from his family and manage a lot of responsibilities being so young, so it’s only logical that he won’t burden himself with anything else as important as a relationship right now. He knows he can’t handle it very well now and he’d hate to half heartedly be with someone. Besides, his hyungs wouldn’t most definitely approve of it bc of the rumours and drama it’s gonna carry, so thinking about it he will discard the idea. Might find some noonas attractive, but the most he will enjoy doing is pranking them and annoying them hehe! >.<

☯︎︎ᴊᴜɴɢᴡᴏɴ:~

DEFINITELY NOT gonna get into dating rn. From the way jungwon is so pessimistic about love and said things like “love doesn’t exist” and “there’s no such things as soulmates” and cringes at cheesy stuffs, I don’t really see him being a big fan of loving in general. Ofcourse his heart will love s/o THE MOST sincerely, but it’s something he would like to stay away from atleast for now. Why? Because he’s the leader of the group and carries the whole burden of the group on his shoulders so one careless action from him can tarnish all their fame in one second. Dating for most kpop idols is restricted and even if it wasn’t, jungwon is too young for it. So if the word of his relationship gets viral, he will be in a big trouble in the bad way. Besides, he’s the wisest in the group and awfully mature, so he’s gonna leave things like dating and love for when he grows up and can handle it smoothly without worry.

———————————————————————————

ᗩ/ᑎ: 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘀, 𝘁𝘆𝘀𝗺 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝘀!♡︎ 𝗮𝘀 𝗺𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝘁’𝗹 𝗲𝘅𝗮𝗺𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝗻𝗶 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱.:( 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘀 𝘀𝗼 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗯𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝗺𝘆 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲~ ❥

[elysianslove]

the little things ; haikyuu boys

synopsis; the little things he does that show just how much he loves you

pairings; karasuno x reader, aoba johsai x reader, fukurodani x reader, nekoma x reader, shiratorizawa x reader

genre; fluff

warnings; will make u hate being single <3

karasuno ━━

sugawara koshi; whenever your hair gets caught in anything, he’s so gentle yet quick at fixing it. if your hair is long, and you pull a bag or a shirt and your hair gets tucked in, he’ll wordlessly pull it out. if your hair is short and a bracelet or zipper gets caught he just continues whatever he was doing (talking to someone else for e.g.) while helping you out. also always makes sure your hair isn’t bothering you; if you’re leaning over writing something, he’ll always tuck it behind your ear so lovingly ahhh

daichi sawamura; massages. he’s descended from heaven for this purpose only. his hands are rough and like hard on your muscles, but it’s so perfect. he’ll approach you when you’re in school sitting anywhere, from behind, and just knead his hands into your muscles for a few seconds. euphoric. or if you live together, he always greets you with back/shoulder/neck massages in the bathtub hvjkwkd.

nishinoya yuu; always makes you try his food. always. whether it’s with a group of people or just you two, he just goes “hey babe open ur mouth” with this face 😏 bc he’s cheeky, and just shoves a mouthful of food. spoiler alert, it’s always way too hot. but it’s just tradition at this point. he takes a bite of his food, decides if it’s worthy enough for your mouth or not, then just. yeah.

kageyama tobio; buys you a snack whenever he gets his milk. if you’re special special, he’ll buy you your own carton of milk. he goes up to the vending machine and automatically thinks of you when he sees your fave snack, and it’s like mindless at this point he just routinely does it. it still surprises you to this day, even when he’s so nonchalant about it.

tsukishima kei; kisses your forehead. tsukki is not too big on pda, and even privately he’s not very touchy feely either tbh. but just a simple peck on your forehead grounds you, and it’s a small reminder of the fact that despite his outward coldness, he really does love you. he rarely does it in front of others, but sometimes, he’ll indulge both you and him, and settle a small kiss on your temple just randomly.

asahi azumane; anime jesus always has a hair tie/clip carried around for you on his wrist/in his pockets. i mean he’s always needing them, he just stocks up when he starts dating you. somehow he’s always there when you’re frustrated with your hair all over the place what a savior. later on it evolves to him carrying around your scrunchie and yes the boys make fun yes he blushes but no he does not take it off.

tanaka ryunosuke; carries you on his back, or your things, when you’re too tired to walk. whether that be if you’re too tired because of your heels or you’re just lazy, he just loves helping you out what a respectful gentleman. honestly it just becomes that every time he sees you he like barricades over to you so quick and flips you onto his shoulder or spins you around. anyways. walking with tanaka means walking empty handed bc he will never let you carry anything. ( shifts pile of bags on one arm just to hold your hand ).

hinata shoyo; learns hairstyles to try on you. whether it be short hair or long hair, expect his youtube search history to look a lot like “how to make a french braid” or “cute hairstyles for short hair for your cute girlfriend”. he’s always so entranced by you and watches so carefully whenever you do anything on your hair, and he gets do excited whenever you let him try and he gets it right. also !!! a lot of the times you’ll sit between his legs and he’ll just softly card his fingers through your hair or lightly braid it.

yamaguchi tadashi; buys you flowers a lot. he doesn’t overdo it, just so it doesn’t lose its value and worth. but for example, mondays suck ass and he knows how much you hate them, so he always makes sure to either leave a single rose on your desk/in your locker or give it to you himself if he can. it’s so endearing and motivating honestly, and the constant reminder every once in a while is so cute. continues to do it even like 3 years in, which is so fkn sweet honestly.

nekoma ━━

kuroo tetsurō; plans the best dates. seriously. like not one moment spent with him is dull. i don’t think being with kuroo entails a high energy relationship, i just mean that even a walk in the park is fun with him. he also always knows when to plan a fancy dinner and when it’s just something casual. like he always puts in so much effort, gives 120%, for every date with you. is your favorite band/singer/artist in town? he’s got tickets. the weather is amazing? you’re going to the beach. you’re sleep deprived? nap dates. 10/10

kozume kenma; he teaches you how to play his games. the fact that he’s letting you touch the console in itself says enough, but whenever he buys a new one, and learns it thoroughly enough, he will always sit by you and teach you its ways. picture you sitting in his lap while he guides your hands <333 if you’re not a gamer, he’s actually v flattered by the fact you’re willing to sit through this w him. but if you are a gamer, expect daily competitions. oh and if you beat him? you’re dead to him :).

haiba lev; instead of reaching for things that you’re too short for to grab it himself, he just lifts you up lmfao. i mean w the way he teases yaku, i can imagine he’d be v teasing with you as well if you’re even an inch shorter than him. but fret not! it’s all in the name of love. he’s very loving though, and if he sees you struggling he’ll just wordlessly hoist you up from your waist or something. at first it’s terrifying, but later on it just makes you giggle cause he’s like so willing to do it and it’s effortless for him hehe.

yaku morisuke; always makes sure you’re taking care of yourself, but kinda aggressively? lmao anyways. like he’s always “babe have u eaten” and if u say no expect him to start yelling like “what do you mean no??? are you insane???” v dramatic but honestly <333 he’s always texting you after parting ways “did you get home safe” or on weekends where he cant meet you, he’s asking how it was, if you indulged yourself a bit, relaxed. it’s very sweet and he makes sure it’s not overbearing. he just wants his baby to be healthy and happy.

yamamoto taketora; walks on the side with the cars. it’s not a very noticeable thing, but you see it, and you recognize it. he makes sure he’s always walking where cars are speeding by, a hand on the small of your back guiding you away and to the other side of him. it’s the little notions of protectiveness like if he’s driving and stops suddenly, he’ll put a hand out to keep you from lurching forward, he pushes you gently out of the way before you bump into someone. things like that.

aoba johsai ━━

oikawa tōru; he doodles in your notebooks, or on your skin. if you have class with him, and sit next to him, he’ll always be doodling on your notebook like little hearts or stupid, cute things like your initials + his in a heart. or if you’re at a study date together, and you’re focused on your laptop screen, he’ll leave little encouraging messages on your notes for you to notice when you’re revising. sometimes you’ll be sitting with him at lunch or even if you’re out w him and a bunch of other people, and he happens to have a pen. expect a little smiley face on your inner wrist, or a heart plus his initials ( o.t. )

iwaizumi hajime; he helps you take off your make up/takes it off for you. if you’re too sleepy, he’ll just take the products he’s used to seeing you use and start following it step by step after he props you up next to the sink. while he stands between your thighs he just so gently starts rubbing at your skin and washing away the make up. if you’re already asleep, he’ll have to like google the steps oh my god im gonna cry hes so cute. if you don’t necessarily wear make up, then he’ll just help you do your nightly routine, or even your shower routine, like using a body scrub or a face mask or, bruh, even shaving lmfao.

hanamaki takahiro; saves everything you buy/send/make him. i mean everything. has literally over two thousand photos of you, all the polaroids or postcards are saved in a little box he has under his bed. anything you make him (unless it’s edible) he has. if you make him a small embroidery thing he will literally attach it to his sports bag or something. any chain you make him is automatically added to his keychain. that flower crown you made with him on one of your first dates? he still has it. the flowers are dead but the memory loves babyyyy

matsukawa issei; carries extra clothes of his for you to borrow. hey have i mentioned that mattsun is big? 😃 because he is 😃. meaning regardless of your size or height or whatever, his clothes will drown you <3 i see him as preferring more oversized or just loose shirts rather than tight ones, so yk. on you???? if y’all are just hanging out and you even think about being slightly cold — here have five options of mattsun’s clothes to choose from. he always makes sure they smell like him too. it’s self indulgent really, because he loves the way they look on you, and he loves that it leaves a trace of his scent on you. territorial? i think yes.

fukurodani ━━

bokuto kōtarō; always hugs you like it’s the last time he’ll see you. sometimes, even if he doesn’t know it, you need his hugs badly. y’all are gonna try and tell me bokuto doesn’t give the best fkn hugs??? yeah get outta here with that bs. he SO does. he either kneels down and wraps his arms around your waist, picks you up, and spins you around, like he hasn’t seen you in 3 years, or he’ll just wrap his arms around your neck and pull your head to his chest, cradling it, and just sighing like he won’t see you for the next 3 years. his hugs always make you feel so much better, even if you weren’t feeling down to begin with.  

akaashi keiji; plays with your hands and caresses them. it’s the delicate feel and gentleness of it all. akaashi’s generally an anxious person, leaving him very fidgety. but once you two get together, and he starts being comfortable with you, expect to find your hand always between the two of his, just fondling with him. he’ll trace random figurines on the back of your hand, or have his fingers ghost over your wrist and up to your fingertips. if his hands are especially shaky, expect him to just grab one of your yours and hold it tightly between the grasp of two of his. it conveys trust, and all you have to do is kiss his knuckles gently and he’s melting.

konoha akinori; he has your reminders app linked with his, and sneaks in small, motivating messages. every once in a while you’ll get a notification from the app that tells you to drink water or have a snack (or text konoha he’s bored and he misses you). also always sends you pictures to distract you from stress. like it could literally just be a picture of him smiling with a thumbs up and you’d just ,,, melt bc you love him so much.

shiratorizawa ━━

ushijima wakatoshi; he has so many plants that are named after you, or your nicknames, and he’s like so gentle with them too. like strokes their petals and speaks to them so softly, the same way he does with you. you’re honestly so curious how he hasn’t run out of names, but he’s just a genius like that. whenever you go over to his place, and he’s bought a new one, he’ll take your hand and guide you to where it’s growing and just be like “look it’s baby y/n” and you just 🥺🥺🥺

semi eita; he has a playlist on his phone, that’s constantly being updated, for you and him to listen to. the first time he showed it to you, you were stargazing and he took out his phone and headphones and was like “i made a playlist for you wanna list” and every part of your body lit up in flames im not joking. now, a lot of the times, you’re coming back home on a train, and your head is on his shoulder and you’re sharing headphones listening to the playlist. when either one of you is driving you’re blasting it (a lot of the playlist is the hsm soundtrack)

satori tendō; tendo reads people so well, and being in a relationship with him means he will read you so well. so a lot of the times, in social situations, he’ll recognize the signs of you wanting to leave, for example, or if someone’s bothering you, he’ll know exactly how to approach it too. this also entails having a lotta inside jokes hehe, and also just like. talking with your eyes. yk that thing. yeah. all you have to do is look at him a certain way, and he just knows exactly what you just said.

goshiki tsutomu; he buys the both of you this small plushie, and whenever you’re missing each other you just. squish it. and he squishes his. he would rather die than let anyone know this, but you’re not too keen on letting anyone know yourself tbh. it’s just this little thing you have, and it means a lot more to you than just this. when he first bought it he was like “look we have matching plushies” and you passed away on the spot ❤️

shirabu kenjirō; loves trying out new recipes with you. he’s not too big on cooking or baking, but there’s just something about doing it with you that really — hits the spot yk. nowadays, whenever he comes across a new recipe on social media that he thinks you’ll like he just automatically sends it to you like with no words no texts just the post and you’re like “OMG CAN WE DO THIS” and he’s like “why else would i send it. yes we can :)” hvskwkeke

end note;  thank you sm for the love on my last two posts!! i’m glad you guys enjoyed them sm. if you have any requests, they’re open and i’m happy to deliver, mwah!

[weirdsht]

warning: a long ranting character analysis ahead. its a character analysis but i put my own personal experience in it hence why a rant. also my vocabulary sucks and i might use wrong words im sorry in advance difuhgopeihpgerty

not sure if this is because i'm a humanities student or its just i can relate because of what i realized while trying to find out about myself but i have some 2cents about Cale's personality.

everything happened late to Cale and that has a big impact on his beliefs and values

it was too late when he met the Soos and became freinds with them. it was too late when that grandma doted on him.

because from what i learned its hard to undo your mindset specially when it has been built up since you were young

consciously or unconsciously

from since he was young cale probably unconsciously concluded that he isn't worth that much and that things could always be worse than this

thats why as long as his alive that's good enough for him. even if his barely on the edge of living with his plate in shambles

like even though Jung Soo and Soo Hyuk and other people he has met later on showed him and tried to teach him that what his doing isnt okay. that he should have higher standards and not just settle for "at least i'm alive". they can't really reset years of accumulated mindset

basically what im saying is its nearly impossible to undo trauma guys

specially with what he went through during his childhood since childhoods always have a great affect in our lives

it doesn't matter if the treatment change or the one inflicting it is gone, once you get used to thinking like that it's hard to turn back y'know

idk how to explain so i'll give a personal example instead

my mom is an overachiever and is very intelligent, and as her child she also expect me to be the same or even surpass her, she's also someone who has a lot of trust issues specially in relationships

imagine that mixing and being projected lol

so for years its just her grilling me to do better. saying that i'm lazy and not putting enough effort on my studies because i can't maintain being a honor student, not realizing the fact fact that maybe, just maybe it's just that i'm not as smart as her. even her standards are crazy high, just passing isn't enough heck a passing grade is a fail for her (asian mom's amiright)

and that also became detrimental to my social life because she's always comparing. she also keeps engraving that they don't really care for me and such and u know the typical manipulation

but nowadays she's calmed downed a bit. she's more open about me having friends and she isn't as strict about me being an honorable student

did that change anything? not really lmaoo

because in the back of my mind i'm thinking that if i dont do well she's gonna have an outburst again, or if i tell her about my friends she's going to say all sorts of things again and i don't want to lonely again. and so the result is me being constantly on guard and her wondering why im hostile

i hope that explains how it greatly affect things

you bring those thoughts and beliefs with you even when you grow up. even when things get better. whether you realize it or not

its really just something you can't get rid of honestly

and that's what i think happened to cale

unknowingly getting the share of White Star's curse made him lose everything he loves and care for

his parents dying

his uncle abusing him

him getting abandoned

just the world falling in ruin

all those things probably made him unintentionally come to the conclusion that he isn't really worth much, and view things that other people would consider necessity, the basic necessities, a luxury

i'd like to believe that maybe he was slowly getting rid of that toxic mindset when he was with the Soos

then boom

they dead now

and so since that's what happened the one time he let his guard down his walls built up even more and his coping mechanisms got worse than they originally were

so probably thats why he acts the way he does when he finally became Cale

that's why this lovable mfer is so guarded, oblivious and so annoyingly dense

i just want for him to break out of it honestly. it wouldn't even matter to me if he realizes it or not. tbh him not realizing it is probably better. just accept the love being given to you damnit

and i thank you, thank you for coming to my ted talk HAHAHAHAHAHHASDGIUUSTPGW

[4dtk]

anon: “hewoo !! umm can you make nct ideal type like age , apperance , height , cute or sexy etc 🌬️” let’s fuckin GOOOO. i’ll be using gender neutral terms for this! please tell me if i used she/her for any part as i’m more used to writing for fem readers!

sorry this took like almost a week i’ve been really busy lately, i apologise! under a cut because its so long lol

disclaimer: tons of “i feel”s and “i think”s; plus, this is just my headcanons of the boys! remember that all of you are beautiful and lovely and special in ur own way!! <3

TAEIL

i feel like taeil would want someone closer to his age (+/-), unless,,, UNLESS he finds someone he really clicks with (like haechan for eg) if they’re at a younger age

if he really does then taeil will 100% make the effort

ngl taeil would love a person taller than him, would worship the shit outta them 

if he gets teased for being shorter he doesnt care LMAO this man will have his hand around your middle and eye the other person mockingly

would love when you own your appearance with confidence, he likes to be by your side to admire how comfortable you feel in your skin

see him being a more traditional man by dating a korean person, but if he’s attracted to someone not of his race, i can see him making the effort

appearance? maybe someone who cleans up well, in a sense who’s a bit proper in their hygiene and like hair or accessories ig. he doesn’t mind what you wear tho, personally leaning more towards the comfy styles of cardigans and baggy clothes.

JOHNNY

either wants someone younger or older… i’m leaning more towards a younger s/o though bc he naturally has a “taking care” kinda vibe, and it’s sweet to see since he naturally takes care of the younger members like mark and haechan

wants to SMOTHER his s/o so i also think he’d want someone shorter than him. the man is a fucking skyscraper lawd

generally likes to give love A LOT since he’s an only child and wants to share that affection with someone who aren’t his parents or the members

but, but, like taeil, i see him really liking being held by his s/o, not just in a small spoon but laying on your chest, lying in between your legs with his head on ur tummy… so cute

i feel like johnny wouldn’t care much for appearance, nor your race since he kinda has the freedom to engage in english conversation. likes a cutesy positive vibe that can share the positivity and happiness he radiates normally!!

TAEYONG

feel like he would go for someone a tad bit older than he is, bc he likes to be taken care of

looking over the members can become really tiring and he needs some sort of solace to relax in

honestly if you’re younger too, he wouldn’t mind, he just needs to be babied LOL

likes tall people… ngl…

would like someone more in tune with their emotion and just not afraid to speak their mind? he likes confidence tbh

can see him going for a foreign person if he’s really passionate about them, would learn english/your native language 

taeyong likes a person that likes their outfits and doesn’t care what you wear out as long as you feel comfortable in it

would prefer more of a calm s/o, but easy-going and fun when they want to be

YUTA

doesnt really care for age tbh. if you’re able to bring him happiness and love him he doesn’t mind whether you’re older or younger

shorter 100%. wants to hold you very much, big spoon, the one holding you in the relationship

would go for a foreign person, but honestly, would want someone he can speak japanese with too. even he has shotaro now, he wants like just a closer person to confide in and also just share lil cute inside jokes with <3

yuta just wants his s/o to be themselves. just. yes. (i mean unless your personality is shit but he doesnt want someone to put on a front with him)

although he also likes cute people… he just wants to pamper u and make u feel like you’re the only one

KUN

goddamn, six kids plus three pets? this man is hanging on by a thread, but he would like a younger and shorter s/o

what’s one more right? 

also naturally has the taking care vibes like johnny, but there’s just something so… dom… about him AHASHFHEHR

would lean more toward a chinese- or korean-speaking s/o but

doesn’t mind a foreign s/o IF they make the effort. he would if he knows you would too. 

kun is lowkey energetic tbh and would want someone who can read the room of whether he’s comfy enough to let loose and remain the ‘parental’ figure

cute people i think will attract him, but oh my gosh when you’re self-assured? WHEW he really likes that, how you’re uncaring of people’s opinions regarding your appearance or personality

DOYOUNG

doesn’t mind older or younger or the same age, although i seem him gravitating toward an older s/o

this man is also 100% stressed. needs to be held, there’s a balance though in your relationship of who holds who though

would stay dating a korean/korean-speaking person i feel. not saying he wouldn’t make the effort but he takes his idol life very seriously and the outcomes if he were to get together with someone who doesnt speak his native tongue

he would want someone proper, like taeil, and would prefer his s/o to be cute and stuff

doyoung needs to know what you want though, so you’ll need to be sure of your choices basically

would like it more if his s/o was calm and just collected bc like taeyong, he needs a haven to relax in when he’s done for the day or when he needs to recharge

TEN

same age or older s/o !!! wants to be taken care of, this man also has a lot of love to give, altho they’re towards selective people like his members, pets, you

would gravitate towards tall people i feel

you need to love leon and louis. period. bella is a hot second.

ten would want an s/o who supports him wholeheartedly, seeing as he has so many talents that sometimes he gets caught up in showing talent for his idol life as opposed to creating things for himself. it’s easy to get lost in the pressure of the media to put out content that he feels is half- assed.

ten knows of his worth, but sometimes he just needs a bit of confirmation and support from the right people to truly create and post what he wants to

he would date a partner who doesn’t speak korean/chinese. he has english and thai and basic japanese baby!!! but yea, he def wouldn’t mind a foreign partner AND would go search up on resources to learn your native tongue!

another person who doesn’t care about how you dress. nor how you look as long as you’re being yourself!

JAEHYUN

oh, younger definitely and a shorter s/o

definitely doesn’t mind an english speaking s/o, although he would prefer someone who can speak korean as well. with s/o’s of other languages, he wouldn’t mind learning your language, although give him some time

the language barrier will be a bit awkward a first tho, but if you know minimal english, i think that’s more than enough for jaehyun to at least steer the convo!

jaehyun is the guy to always give me first love, love from high school vibes so he’s usually the one to embrace you, but LOVES it when you’re the one to initiate contact and affection

jaehyun knows he’s good looking, but he does want an s/o who loves him for who he is, who sees all his good traits as equal to his looks. he would also like an s/o who has a live in the moment mindset, bc he spends a lot of time in his idol life, that a carefree s/o to take him away from the stress of idol life would really help

a sucker for a cute style ngl, pastels and clips in your hair and stuff. 

WINWIN

wouldn’t mind someone a tad bit older, although i can see him with a younger person/same aged person too

shorter s/o!

sicheng wouldn’t care much for appearance, but he likes it when his s/o is confident, or in general confidence attracts him like the other guys in this post. that confidence would allow for him to be ‘guided’ in the relationship

would lean more towards a chinese/korean speaking person, but would try forming a r/s with someone of a different race to see how the language barrier would work

someone who is respectful of his space 100%. winwin wants someone who knows their boundaries in a context that there’s this sense of “i know when he’s feeling upset and wants to be left alone”, something like unspoken exchanges that the other just understands

sicheng also likes when his s/o is a little playful and cheeky, but not to the extent of the boys. just the right amount of outgoingness i guess haha. he would accommodate a bit of wildness, but sometimes it tires him out so you’ll need to know when to tone it down

JUNGWOO

feel like he would lean to an older s/o, but not necessarily needing to keep him in check because you’d be on the other side entertaining his antics lol

jungwoo uses up a lot of his energy tho, so sometimes he tends to go quiet and just likes to slump in your embrace

when he’s not quiet tho, he’s pretty cheeky in a sneaky kinda way and would want someone to reciprocate that.

jungwoo would also like an s/o who cheers him on a lot. he’s a bit insecure naturally, so he would want someone who doesn’t miss a beat to tell him that he’s doing good that day and would like a random compliment sometimes

would like to be held more than holding someone tbh

he wouldn’t care much for appearance, but does lean more towards cutesy appearances

LUCAS

younger and shorter s/o

would want an s/o to just calm down and rest with at times. sure he likes to have fun with his members and with his partner, but most dates with his partner has him in their arms and usually involves a calm activity

i mentioned this in chenle’s one as well, but the happiness he feels with his members is different from the one he feels with his partner, although lucas’ one is more of a blur where chenle’s a bit more distinct. does this make sense

wouldn’t ask much in an s/o, tbh. even if they’re just doing nothing, as long as lucas know he’s making you happy then he’s content with that. like when you’re smiling and loving him, then that’s all he really needs to be honest

lucas would not mind taking up an r/s with a foreign s/o, although he would have trouble with language barriers. would prefer a chinese/catonese speaking partner bc then he’s able to practise his dialect. he’d have a korean-speaking s/o too, although he sometimes stumbles over his korean a teeny bit

would love a cute style definitely!!!

MARK

same age, probably. he would feel more comfortable in terms of affection and conversation i feel!

equal amount of who holds who, but loves when his s/o initiates and cuddles him first 

likes baggy clothes on you tbh, likes to match appearances and styles with you

wouldn’t mind an s/o of any race. he’s dedicated to learning your language if anything, the man likes to learn about new things

mark just wants someone fun to be around who returns his laughter and jokes, kinda like how johnny does

he’s suffered enough from johnny though (“ah, mark! the smell!”) and would probably like it if you defend him instead LOL (sometimes you poke fun tho)

he would also want his s/o to just reciprocate him in terms of laughter and happiness level. mark is always so bubbly that he wants someone to smile at him and laugh with him

XIAOJUN

would like an older s/o ngl, i feel like he would want to be guided as well

doesn’t care if you’re tall or short tbh

but would like an s/o who brings him out of his shell like the members do.

he wants to be able to laugh without trouble around his s/o and let loose. xiaojun sometimes gets annoyed, mostly feigned annoyance, so it would be nice for an s/o to fit in like the members: making fun of his angry face and rolling eyes and then having some light banter

he’s also gonna need an s/o who’s not afraid to pull him back whenever he says out of pocket things. they’re not necessarily harmful just extremely blunt at times that makes you cringe and you have to pull him back to tell him of his comments LOL

xiaojun would... not go into an r/s with a foreign partner i feel, but he will TRY if the conversation is not too awkward, save for like activities and such. like others in this post, he’ll make an effort if he’s committed to you, and only if you’re sure of dating him as well

xiaojun loves a cute style lawd!

HENDERY

same age, younger, older, tbh i don’t think hendery cares that much

he would want a shorter s/o though, i feel

wants a fun and playful s/o, someone who’s just so enjoyable to be around that he sometimes forgets himself and gets lost in the happiness you two give out

he does also want an s/o who can make him shy and basically challenge his personality, but not in a headbutt way where it’s your same two personalities against each other. it’s rather two variations of the same feeling like your playful aura against hendery’s playful aura, which would be honestly quite fun to watch and experience bc you’re just trying to one-up each other

and idk, because he’s talkative quite often, he feels like it would be nice to be the flustered, eyes-wide one for once

hendery in a foreign partner relationship... he would try, but i think he’d be a little intimidated at the languages that he has to have some time to warm up. he would commit and make the effort if he was willing to, though

oversized fits are his shit!!!! he also doesn’t mind seeing you explore with your appearance and style, esp in the goth or rebel kinda style 

RENJUN

same age or younger, wouldn’t mind if you were taller since he knows his height is not THAT high

renjun loves for you to hold him though

the cheeky lad wants a laid back s/o, who doesn’t take life so seriously as well and like hendery, would like it if his s/o was a bit goofy and playful

would also want an s/o who’s deep about the universe and stuff, kinda intelligent to debate alien life and what not, he wants to be able to talk to you about anything and keep the conversation going even if you’re talking about something simple and dumb like snacks

i also can’t exactly see renjun go for a foreign s/o, mainly because of the language barrier, but i can see him trying if he’s able to get help from mark hyung and if the situation allows for you to meet frequently

renjun would definitely like a cute style on his s/o, but also would like more flashy or out-of-the-box outfits. as long as you’re comfy then he’s fine

JENO

same age. he likes to be taken care of though, would maybe be a 60/40 split of you taking care vs him taking care of you respectively

i feel like jeno would like a shorter s/o!

cute s/o, maybe matching up to the personality of jaemin since he was his longest friend from before. enthusiastic while he takes the back seat and admires you

while jaemin loses his social battery over time, jeno wouldn’t mind if you were a literal menace like haechan bc he feels that would make the r/s really fun

see him preferring a korean-speaking person. kinda like doyoung but not quite, he’s more careful than serious (?) about his idol life, and he wouldn’t want to take the risk

HAECHAN

same age or older i feel. equal split of who’s the embracer in the relationship though 

wouldn’t mind a taller person, although he’d prefer if you were around the same height bc he doesn’t want to be teased by his members lol

i feel like haechan would rlly like y2k outfits on his s/o? a mix of baggy outfits as well as cute ones

his natural outgoing personality allows him to get together with a foreign person i feel, bc he’d suggest things that don’t need talking like bowling or an arcade y’know? he struggles a bit with native languages tho, bc he’s so used to speaking korean

btw please egg him on, he loves it when you do it and also do dumb things with him. he would want someone who doesn’t take life so seriously while also possessing the ability to think deeply i feel, but mostly someone who can keep smiling and strong even through hardships. kinda a happy-go-lucky personality

JAEMIN

younger, i feel. like johnny he has a lot of affection to give like he usually does to jisung…. jisung is grown up alr tho so :”(

loves giving the cuddles, big spoon, etc. he just wants you to feel loved no matter what size you are

he also would love tall people ngl! although sometimes he can’t decide between short and tall people

jaemin would appreciate an affectionate s/o who’s committed to him and also a person who’s just naturally shy i feel

they don’t necessarily need to return the energetic bursts of aegyo or stuff (he’d love it though) and also someone who just enjoys life and the small little things in general

would not mind dating a foreigner, would love to learn about your native language actually!

he likes cutesy appearances i reckon, a bit of oversized styles but overall likes the pastels

YANG YANG

same age or older, likes to be taken care of tbh

yang yang is also someone who doesn’t care if you’re short or tall, and likes you either way :)

does not mind a foreign person, plus he’s moved countries a little and could maybe find solace in the fact that his homes are sometimes not fixed, esp with how many languages he speaks as well

yang yang would want an s/o who lives up to his excitement in jokes and memes. he would feel a bit down if you happen to not understand a joke although he cant blame you, but he would want someone almost identical to him? 

create chaos together and then fall asleep together

can see him liking a cute style tbh, and also reaaaaally likes to match outfits with you in your own respective styles

SHOTARO

same age, def.

i think being in nct has made him a little shy as compared to before when he was in a dance crew, so he’d need someone to encourage him while also taking care of him!!

talking to a non japanese- or korean- speaking person might scare him, so he would settle just for that. shotaro wouldn’t mind in a sense if he knows the other person is committed, but the language barrier for the first few dates would be awkward

ooohhh likes it when people are confident definitely, comfortable in their own skin. shotaro is another person i feel would really be attracted to y2k fits

like i said earlier, shotaro just needs a little push, which would help with an outgoing s/o and someone who’s not afraid to try new things. he feeds off your confidence and uses that to boost his!

CHENLE

doesn’t mind an s/o who is the same age or a tad bit older, i’m not sure if i see him with a younger s/o

doesn’t care if you’re tall or short as long as you give him his damn hugs!!!! 

outgoing personality? check. he would literally befriend anyone, and wouldn’t mind a foreign s/o who doesn’t speak korean or chinese. with his limited english, he could probably make an outing fun by doing activities together and will learn your language!!

an s/o who can calm him down. chenle uses up his energy a lot and can get worn out and just wants someone to embrace at the end of the day. i wouldn’t say its similar to taeyong who’s sometimes tired from taking care of the members, but rather in a way where it’s a little playful and bubbly in your own little circle.

it’s a different kind of happy that chenle feels with you as opposed to the joy that the members bring him.

chenle also would want someone who’s sure of themselves, more so in personality rather than apperance. he likes all sizes and colours and styles, altho leans more toward the oversized sector

SUNGCHAN

sungchan is bit mischievous, so i feel like he naturally lean towards an s/o who can kinda be the “mother slash partner” of him: either the same age or younger, leaning more toward a same aged s/o

lawd this man is so tall. i think he’d want a shorter partner, sometimes a bit awkward with the affection but overall likes to give it. plus point: he likes to see you struggle wrap your body around his to get all of him in your cuddles

he wants to be able to relate to them and wouldn’t want awkwardness, so i don’t think he would go for a foreign person as of now

sungchan likes someone to have fun with him, ofc he’s aware that he can’t take away all their problems but he would want his s/o to feel relaxed and content around him with his goofy personality

sungchan likes a cutesy style, maybe, BUT i always see him being really drawn to y2k fits!!!

JISUNG

leaning more towards the same age (+/-1). i think a noona would make him shy and a younger s/o would just feel weird to him idk. 

this man is also very tall, so probs a shorter s/o,,,,, would not mind if you are tall though!! he just likes to have you in his arms instead of the other way round (so you can’t see his flushed face)

not sure if he’d commit to a r/s that is foreign, but he would try with the help of mark-hyung or something. the reason why he’d take it was because the members would help me, but if not, he wouldn’t take the risk with his idol life at stake.

jisung wants someone who’s self-assured as well, strong in mettle and who has a strong character that helps him build up his drive. seeing you in your element helps him achieve more and he appreciates that you are able to provide him with a source of motivation

jisung likes cute stuff, but he does like oversized fits!

[softyoongiionly]

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Just outside the boundaries of your town, deep within the trenches of the forest sits a massive tower made from smoke-stained ivory. Decrepit and ominous, it looms over your town like a warning- like a shadow...

There are opposing rumors as to what resides in the tower.

One of them, the one that just so happens to appeal to you the most, is that there is a deity living in that tower.  

The one who knows.  

The one who blesses and curses the deserving and offers wisdom that no mortal can.  

And now, faced with the imminent demise of your family- you have no choice but to seek answers in the darkness. 

What, in god’s name, will you find?

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: demi-god! au, demi-god! Jimin, mythology, slight angst, smut, fantasy

Word count: 8k (THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PWP)

Warnings: likely inaccurate representations of greek mythology lmao, unprotected sex (wrap it up plz), mentions of violence/death, slightly spooky??? allusions to corruption and murder (non-explicit), JIMIN (cause he’s always a warning), probably a messy plot cause I went feral with this one. parts are unedited oops. 

A/N: i have nothing to say. this was supposed to be demon porn and now we have a completely new au. SOMEONE PLEASE STOP ME. okay anyways,,,, i love u. 

Corruption.  

It ran rampant through your town like the plague, devouring everything in its path. One right after another, you have seen it swallow those who you had come to respect; good town folk, who at one time, moved through the world with a moral compass stronger than the one you felt you possessed, had now fallen ill to the disease.  

And you understood...to an extent. The universe was not a benevolent dealer. It randomly assigns cards to its patrons and cares not about the outcome- or the losses. You understood that sometimes people were simply without a winning hand.  

But the need to win was still present.  

However, your town was spoiled with a type of greed that wafted through the streets and turned everything to mold. Neighbor betraying neighbor, partner betraying partner- even mother’s betraying their children...

All to please one man...

Lord Instinctus was the ruler of your province. Born into nobility, he took over the position after his father passed away and began turning the tides in his favor. Taxes were raised, work hours following suit and, harsh punishments were administered to anyone who dared questioned the new system. He forced your town to pledge their loyalty to him on the day he took over and sent ‘enforcers’ to hide out in the town in search of any signs of rebellion.  

However, his cruelty was not unique. Too many men have followed the path paved before them and suckled at the teet of avarice, until they were compelled to out do one another.

To outkill one another...

What made Lord Instinctus unique was the fact that he had never shown his face before. During his initiation into the noble court, the townspeople were given blindfolds and told to face away from their Lord and simply listen. Few people broke the rules but, the ones who did were immediately executed.  

You still remember the shudder that ran through your body as you heard the sound of your townspeople hitting the pavement. From that point on, the tone was set. Insubordination means death; the terms were simple.  

The lack of knowledge and the possibility of death didn’t stop speculation from blooming. In fact, the appearance of the Lord was essentially the usual topic of conversation at every pub on the main street. After the freeing of spirits, both liquid or otherwise, the rumors begin pouring into the atmosphere.

“He’s probably horribly deformed...”

“Inbreeding is common amongst the nobility; it would make sense...”

“My cousin walked by the villa the other day, he said Lord Invictus had a tail!”

“A tail you say?! So is he some sort of hybrid?!”

“Oh please, that’s preposterous- he's probably just hideous...”

You bite your bottom lip, as you wipe the whiskey from the chestnut countertop, resisting the urge to smirk. Bartending was certainly not a glamorous job but, it paid your taxes and helped put food on the table for you and your family.  

Glamorous it was not but, amusing it definitely was.  

“I bet you he still beds a new woman every night though...”

“A pretty face ain’t worth more than all that gold he has aye?”

“Maybe he’s cursed...”

“That wouldn’t surprise me either- I hear noble families make deals with the magic folk all the time.”

“If you all want to know so bad, why don’t you just pay the tower a visit?”

With that meager suggestion, the bustle of the pub comes to halt- all eyes now on the man who mentioned a topic that is normally banned from public spaces.

“What? You can’t tell me you haven’t wondered what was up there...”

“We know what’s up there-”

“Or rather- who's up there.”

Just outside the boundaries of your town, deep within the trenches of the forest sits a massive tower made from smoke-stained ivory. Decrepit and ominous, it looms over your town like a warning- like a shadow...

It’s said to be the home a monster.  

The tower was used as a prison for the most dastardly of criminals. For years, just before the establishment of your town, it served as a last resort for the rotten underbelly of society. Countless lives were taken, madness ensued- until the revolution came. The tower was set aflame by revolutionaries but for whatever reason, it did not crumble.  

The ivory merely sizzled and turned gray and then over time, it turned black. For years it was abandoned until one day, just after sunset, light emanated from the tower once more. Onlookers who were near the building went inside to see if some vagrant had moved in.  

And they never returned...

Several spiritual advisors have visited the town, including religious figures from various faiths, and they have all arrived at the same conclusion: a demon has taken residence in the tower. Despite the efforts to bless the building, the light comes on every evening.  

Thus, it is assumed that the demon remains unharmed.  

“What about Mrs. Jeon? She left offerings for the beast and her son was cured of the plague the next morning.”

“Or Mr. Kim- he left one as well and found gold in his backyard that very night...”

“You aren’t suggesting there is a benevolent being in that tower, are you? Should I remind you of how many disappearances have occurred?”

There are opposing rumors you suppose.  

One of them, the one that just so happens to appeal to you the most, is that there is a deity living in that tower.  

The one who knows.  

The one who blesses and curses the deserving and offers wisdom that no mortal can.  

“Hey here’s a thought- how about Jacob tests his theory eh? Why don’t you go down and find out yourself? Report back to us with your findings...”

The pub erupts with laughter now, the uneasiness slowly melting away from the room.  

You elect to keep your thoughts to yourself, as you finish up counting the money you had made from that evening- making sure to leave a portion for the incoming team.  

The bite of the winter wind is harsh and untamed as it scraps across your skin, causing you to hurriedly put your coat on. It feels like winter never ends in your town and if it weren’t for the fact that your family stocks up throughout the year, you would be worried where your next meal is coming from.  

Walking down the street towards your home, you catch sight of the tower in the distance. The way the windows begin to glow, almost makes you feel like it’s somehow staring back at you- taunting you.  

You would be lying if you said it didn’t tempt you.  

It always has.  

Even as a young girl, you remember being drawn to the infamy, to the danger...

Your mother always told you that being curious was a good thing, that it led the greatest minds of humankind. You kept that with you as you moved through life, trying your best to understand what your purpose was.  

But times were hard...

With a malevolent lord hanging over the morale of your town, digging his fingers into the heart and soul of your people and crippling them with eternal debt, it was causing you to look for answers.  

And you were beginning to look in some unorthodox places.

Dinner with your family soothes the aching curiosity in your chest as you try and remind yourself of all the things you have to be grateful for. After your meal, you wrestle your little brother into his bed before telling him his favorite bedtime story. Once his eyelids have kissed, you turn out his light and move into the main room to wish sweet dreams upon your parents.  

And although the pleasantries are nice, there are a few things throughout the evening that disturbed you.  

The limp in your father’s movement.

The blisters on your mother’s hands.

The bags beneath the otherwise unburden gaze of your little brother.  

Exhaustion was palpable.  

Living beneath the weight of a corrupt leadership will do that to you.

As your head hits the pillow, you can hear your mother murmur in desperation.

“I won’t have enough to pay him this week...what are we going to do?”

“I can work extra hours at the mill- we will figure it out.”

“How could you possibly work any longer-”

You feel your chest twist with guilt as you hear the crack in your mother's voice.

“You’re falling apart my love...if you continue pushing yourself this way, I’m afraid I will lose you and I can’t- I can’t-”

The muffled nature of her cries suggests that your father has pulled her in for a hug, trying to erase the inevitable with his affection.  

“We will endure, I promise. Just hang on a little longer.”

With your father’s final words, their conversation begins to die down.  

This can’t possibly go on much longer. You might be able to pick up more hours at the pub and, perhaps procure a second job but, the dues will never end.  

Your family will never exist for any other reason aside from paying to the noble family.  

So you make a decision. Hard work clearly isn’t the answer and revolution would only shed innocent blood. If the practical world had nothing else to offer then, you would seek answers from beyond.  

Your parents retired to their rooms shortly after their conversation but, you wait until you’re sure the house has fallen silent before you make your next move. Embarking on this mission would be simple but what lies at your destination is anything but; so, you try to be prepared for the possible outcomes.

Wrapping yourself in the thickest coat you can find, you slip your dagger beneath the onyx material and slowly creep out of your bedroom.  

The streets were still bustling with life; your town rarely ever rests and the pubs and shops are open well past midnight.  

It might sound like the product of a vibrant town but, it’s mainly due to the ever-present demand for profit.  

Limited hours mean limited sales.

Thankfully, no one really notices your presence as you traverse your way down the streets and through the alleyway. The noise echoing from the main street slowly diminishes and makes way for the sound of the wind dancing through the trees. The forest itself does not frighten you. You grew up memorizing it with your father as he taught you the fundamentals or foraging and gardening. The sound of the owls is expected as is the chill that runs up your spine with the increase of the breeze.  

However, as you near the tower- fear begins to slither its way into your veins. It’s quite a sickening feeling as it seems to stop you in your tracks but, you push on anyway- determined to finish what you have started.

The wrought iron surrounding the tower is stained with rust, corroded and crackling with age, the creaking of its bars alarms you, stopping you in your tracks and forcing you to look up.  

And there it is: the tower.  

It stands above you like a menacing giant and although it’s presence should deter you, it doesn’t. Making an effort to be as silent as you can, you slip past the opening in the gate and begin walking up the broken cobblestone pathway.  

There is nothing but dirt surrounding the perimeter of the tower and other than the moon, the only light before you is coming from the very top window. It’s glowing but the color isn’t stable- it's as if it were shifting slowly from red to green to blue and then back again. Faced with the wooden French doors, you question the idea of knocking.  

If someone truly did live here, it would only be polite...right?

With a shaky hand, you knock three times as loudly as you can. For a moment there is nothing, but just as you ready your hand to knock again, the door groans and begins to slowly creak open.  

The already unstable heartbeat in your chest begins to rattle without mercy as you brace yourself for whatever horrible creature might lay on the other side. Instead, however, there is no one.  

The door opens entirely to reveal that instead of the simple but filthy interior you expect from an abandoned tower such as this one, there is a rather decadent home. Large marble pillars extend upwards seemingly holding nothing in place while glamorous furniture positions itself through the foray. Everything is cooled tone with greys and shades of blue, black often lining the borders of the funiture. There is no lantern, the moon lighting up the interior of the room just as it led your path up to the door.  

The layout doesn’t make sense.  

The tower is cylindrical and doesn’t offer enough space for such an open floor plan so, how is it that the inside looks like lavish mansion?

You swallow your fear and newfound confusion as you tentatively look around the expanse of the room.

“Hello?”

Nothing.  

You take a deep breath and decide that the likelihood of someone (or something) answering that call is slim, especially given the way you were welcomed into the tower in the first place.  

You place your hand inside your pocket, gripping the dagger for good measure before beginning to make your way towards the staircase. The moonlight is sufficient enough at first but for whatever reason, as you begin making your way up the stone staircase, the interior of the tower seems to slowly darken. Your grip on the dagger tightens as you stop walking, frozen in your steps, cursing yourself for embarking on a journey so reckless.  

Suddenly, all of the light from the room vanishes, forcing a gasp from your throat. You manage to grip the railing to steady yourself but you have no idea what you are to do next.  

And then, someone speaks.

“Well- you’re awfully far from home...aren’t you?”

The sound of the voice rushes through your senses much like the wind did. It’s too sweet for your liking but, it entrances you none the less.

“Who are you?”  

As much as you try to steady your breathing, the way your voice cracks, gives you away instantly.

Laughter bounces off the stone walls, sinister and playful all at once before the voice speaks again,

“Don’t you think that’s a question I should be asking you? You are the intruder after all...”

Disembodied or not, the voice makes a valid point. You did walk in unannounced and you most certainly weren’t invited.  

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N.” The strength in your voice comes back slightly as you grip the railing a bit tighter, “I came here because- “

“I know why you’re here...” The voice is much closer now, likely positioned at the top of the stairs, “Humans are so predictable; always looking for a handout.”

This offends you greatly and regardless of the amount of danger you might be in, you let the voice know anyway.

“I am not looking for a hand out. My family and I work from sunrise until sunset to make ends meet. I’m here to make an offering- not merely to take whatever miracles that you make.” Stronger and stronger, your voice rises to the occasion, preparing itself to either spar with the beast or scream for help.

“Miracles hm?” Sinister laughter slinks down the staircase, practically teasing the exposed skin of your neck, “Is that what you think I do?”  

You swallow the bile that creeps up your throat, “I’ve heard many stories- but I wanted to see for myself. Some of my people claim you’ve blessed them but, the clergy said a demon lived here...”

“Oh?” It rises with inquisition, “And you came anyway? Do I have a heretic in my presence?”  

Shaking your head does nothing in the darkness but it’s instinctual, “I don’t believe in demons- at least, not the kind who dwell in abandoned towers.”

“Is there a kind you do believe in then?”  

There is something in you that urges you forward, captivated by the sweet sound of the voice above you, desperate to view the owner and desperate to see the moonlight again.

“Hell is nothing but a metaphor and it’s demons all the same. There is plenty of evil here, plenty of suffering- by definition, there is a demon ruling over my town- he is draining us of our resources for his own gain. I couldn’t imagine a more accurate representation.”

Suddenly, you hear the sound of boots clicking slowly and steadily down the stone stairs. You brace yourself, still feeling frozen in your place- wishing to see whoever or whatever is front of you.

“If I did make miracles,” It muses and, now you’re able to discern that it’s only a few steps in front of you, “What exactly would you be offering me in return?”

Taking a deep breath through your nose, you place all your effort into trying to make out whether or not there was an actual owner to this voice. Finally, your eyes adjust enough to see the faint shadow of a figure which appears to be sitting on the second set of stairs.  

“Name your terms, I will do my best.”  

“Ah ah-” The voice corrects along with a side of twinkling laughter, “That isn’t how this works...”

You’re growing frustrated with the apparent mind games but, you know it’s in your best interest to be patient; you still don’t know what you’re dealing with.

“How does it work then?”

Silence passes through the air for a moment before the voice speaks again, “You must bring me the thing you treasure the most so, that I may know your true intentions- I cannot help you until I can see you properly.”

You snort, “You’d be able to see me if you hadn’t wiped the light from this room...”

Laughter comes again but this time, it’s lower and deepened with suggestion, “I’m not referring to physical sight, human. You might not be able to see in the dark but, I can.”

For whatever reason, its response sounds salacious and riddled with an innuendo that you’re slightly afraid to comment on.  

And the reaction it creates within you, only frightens you further.  

“I’ve just told you that I barely have enough money to scrape by- I don’t have anything of value to give you.”  

“I never asked you to bring me anything of value nor did I ask you to give it away- you’re not listening very well...I don’t know how I’m supposed to help you if you can’t follow instructions.”

It sounds irritated and fond all at once, prompting you to nod immediately, not wanting to upset your only shot at freedom.

“I’m sorry.” You breathe, “I’m just-”

“Don’t lie to me...”

Your gaze strains to try and make out the expression of the figure in front of you but, its futile- the darkness impeding your effort.

“What do you mean?”

“You were going to tell me that you’re scared.” The voice accuses, “But you’re not- even though, you most certainly should be.”  

It wasn’t wrong. You should have ran when the door opened on its own, when the lights began to dim, when a voice began speaking to you...

But you didn’t.

You were undeniably intrigued.  

“Are you going to hurt me?”

An insidious bought of laughter comes from the figure before it sighs, “Hmmm, maybe a little bit.”

When your lips part with something that resembles shock, the laughter comes again only slowing to a halt for the sound of the figure’s tongue tutting against its teeth.

“You are a curious girl...” It observes, “...promises of harm should not excite you and yet- excitement flows from you anyway. Why?”

It kills you to refrain from denying it but, you have no choice.

“Your voice-” A sigh leaves your lips, “it’s very intriguing.”

Maybe it’s part of the creature's abilities, you think, its voice is the main weapon to lure unsuspecting and vulnerable humans into its clutches. The only question is-  what happens once it has you.

“Is it now?” The voice sounds intrigued, “Most humans don’t seem to think so. Are you sure you’re hearing me right, girl? I’ve been told my voice is the thing of nightmares.”

This perplexes you; how could anyone possibly think such a voice was frightening? Despite this creature being anything but human, it sounds very much like a man- a warm and mischievous man who seems hellbent on getting you into bed.  

“What does my voice sound like to you?” It asks, a smile in its tone.

You ponder this question for a second, realizing very quickly that you can’t exactly tell this creature that it sounds like it’s trying to seduce you. But still, that does seem to be the only appropriate description.

“Sort of...like a melody.”

Laughter comes again but, this time it’s paired with the moonlight slowly fading back into the tower, covering every surface until it finally reveals the appearance of the figure.  

Beautiful.  

Not an it but a he...

A man with wings.  

On the steps before you, he stands, leaning casually against the railing now. Atop his head is a tousled mop of sapphire hair, just below are his eyes- nearly black and hooded with the same seduction as his voice and cloaking his figure is a black linen ensemble fitted only by the same color corset. His pillowy lips and soft skin would be a masterpiece on their own but coupled with the giant pair of onyx wings protruding proudly from his back- his visuals become simply devastating.  

“What do you see?” He smirks, licking over his lips.

Unable to resist, you shake your head in complete awe, all of the sensible words dying before they leave your throat, “You- are you an angel?”

The light allows you to see him now as his head tilts another round of laughter, “Try again...you’re very close.”

Perhaps the clergy was right...

“A demon then...” You resign because despite your previously-held beliefs, if this really was a demon, then you know very well you shouldn’t be dealing with him. “I should go.”

His smirk broadens, “But I thought you didn’t believe in demons?”

“I didn’t but, that’s clearly what you’re alluding to. If a winged man tells me he’s a demon, I think it’s wise that I return home.”  

Through your moment of clarity, your desire for him persists- especially now that you see what he looks like. But you know better than to make a deal with a demon, even if you are desperate.

“Do you think the universe is that simple? Angels and demons? Good and evil? You don’t think that maybe- in all of his vastness, there is a chance for the inbetweeners?” He presses and now his black eyes seem to glow, his gaze slightly hypnotic.  

Tightening your coat around your body, you stay staring at him for a moment before you respond, “Is that what you are? Something in between?”

He licks his lips, his eyes finally allowing themselves to wander over your figure. There isn’t much of you showing but, he still drinks you up regardless, exposing and exciting you all at once.  

“I was sent by the underworld to do business for the gods...” He drops his voice to a near whisper, his gaze burning a hole in you, which now aches to be filled.  

You take in a shaky breath through your nose, nodding in understanding, “Did you kill the people who disappeared here? Is that what happens when their judgment goes south?”  

He arches his brow, tilting his head with his inquiry- his voice dripping with darkness, “Maybe I did...maybe I didn’t. I don’t see how that’s relevant- especially since you’ve already decided you were leaving. Which of course-” He waves his hand then, the wooden door behind you creaking open, “-you are free to do.”

There is something about him you haven’t touched on but, it’s beginning to eat you up inside. He may be an otherworldly being, possessing the tower like a beautiful virus but, he is starting to look familiar. This of course, is hard to imagine because his beauty is so striking that you don’t see how you could ever forget it. But nonetheless, you feel like you’ve seen him before.  

And this is what has kept you frozen.  

“Will you not give me any answers?” You border on pleading but, attempt to keep your tone firm.

He chuckles, “You didn’t come to me for answers. You came for help- which I’ve already agreed to give you.”

The supernatural discourse that has transpired, thoroughly distracted you from the reasons for seeking him out in the first place. Your situation had not changed; you were still desperate for money, desperate for justice and desperate for peace.  

“You won’t hurt my family...” It’s not a question, and it leaves no room for any other response aside from the one he gives you.

“I won’t.”  

Nodding, you glance behind your shoulder towards the door, “I have to go home. I don’t have the item you asked for. I can be back within the hour...”

For the first time, he looks slightly disappointed but as you complete your sentence, he shakes his head, “No. Don't come back tonight.” He insists, “If you wish to do business with me- you must return tomorrow after midnight. I will wait for you at the shoreline.”

This confuses you, “The shoreline? Why can’t we meet here? The water is dangerous after dark.”

The smirk returns to his tender lips, “I know.”  

With that, he waves his hand again- causing the door to swing open and slam against the tower walls.

Jumping at the sound, your gaze shoots back behind you before returning to where the creature stood.  

But he had vanished.  

You have no choice but to heed his requests and rush away from the tower, the curiosity inside you almost too much to bear.  

Nothing is out of the ordinary as you walk back home, at least not at first. But when you pass the massive clock tower in the center of town, you realize something strange...

The clock hadn’t moved, not even a second.  

You remember very clearly reading the time as you hurried past it on your way to the tower and now, even as you’re staring at it, it stands perfectly still. Until suddenly, without warning, the hands of time begin to move again. The clicking almost startles you, your brain filling with a million questions despite your decision to turn away and return home.  

Time had seemingly stood still whilst you were in the tower.  

Slipping beneath the covers, you try your hardest to get to sleep despite being bombarded with images of the haunting man you had just encountered.  

You know you should be terrified.  

You know you should be wary.

But the familiarity of him has possessed you and, you’re determined to understand why.  

The next night, with your treasured object tucked securely in your coat, you make your way back to him.  

You make sure to check the clock tower before you do, logging the time away for later to see if last night had been more than just a fluke.  

12:32am.

The clock tower has never lied but, you’re starting to think it might be influenced by whatever resided in the tower- magic, beast, or otherwise.  

As you pass through the many trees, you begin to hear the chaotic crashing of the waves in the distance. The tower may be frightening but, few things could match the malevolent temper of the sea. In fact, you’ve always believed that nothing could. The sea was unrivaled in her cruelty, consuming the world at will, just for the fun of it- you've theorized that she likes the screams. During the day, she simmered- blue and serene, allowing boats to decorate her surface like candles on a birthday cake. At night though, her temper worsens and it’s as if she suddenly remembers all the injustice she has faced. Her waves swell to horrific heights, smashing into the seawalls built around your town, creeping over like a titan looking for vengeance.  

You’ve always felt pity for her. It must be hard: being the heart and soul of humanity, being responsible for the very nature of things- only to be forgotten. Only to be mistreated...

Your boots are discarded near the last patch of grass before the sand and, your toes brace themselves icy chill of the sea breeze. You’re especially thankful for the coat now as you suspect that your teeth would have already begun chattering had it not been for the thick fabric protecting you.  

The waves haven’t begun their violent dance just yet but, you can sense their temper beneath your feet. They will begin soon.  

“The sea-” The voice from the tower is behind you, “it suits you.”

Breathless, you turn to face him and even though you’re more prepared for his beauty than you were last night, it still shocks you.

He’s wearing a black silk gown, that drapes effortlessly off his body, the sleeves made out of French lace and extending well past his fingertips. His wings are shuttered behind him, folded almost modestly against his back.

“Thank you.” It’s the only response you have before you reach into the fold of your coat, “I have the-”

He holds up his hand, his voice commanding but gentle, “Wait. I want you to walk with me first. I don’t like rushing through my business deals.”

Your hand slowly retreats from your coat as you warily look behind you, “You want to walk along the shoreline? I told you, it’s too dangerous- at least for me it is, I don’t exactly have an escape mechanism attached to my back.”

He smirks, his tempting gaze flourishing with fondness you cannot place, “What causes you to mistrust the sea so much? Surely she wouldn’t hurt one of her own...”

Your brow furrows, “What do you mean?”

Extending from the confines of silk, his fingers reach out to you, fluttering with invitation, “I will show you.”

And really, you’d be a fool not to accept.  

Interlacing your fingers with his, you feel electricity simmer ever so slightly beneath your skin. You’re assuming it’s from the power that likely resides within him but, you don’t expect it to affect you so much.

The sound of the waves begins to softly roar in the distance but the water isn’t close enough to the shoreline to pose any immediate threat.

Not yet at least...

You begin walking alongside him as he leads you both in the opposite direction of your town border. For quite a few moments, he just gazes at the eternal stretch of sand before you, his soft mouth curved up ever so slightly. He looks pensive and serene all at once and, it confuses you.

“May I tell you a story?”

His request surprises you but, you aren’t really in a position to say no. And if you’re being honest, you really didn’t want to.  

“Yes.” You murmur, feeling compelled to keep your volume at a minimum.

He smiles softly to himself, glancing towards the water briefly before beginning.  

“The water has many gods...” He speaks softly, letting out a sigh, “Lir, Irish god of the sea, Tefnut, Egyptian goddess of the rain, Amimitl, Aztec god of lakes and fisherman...” His explanation already has you interested. You were taught much of the stories beyond your land but, it had always fascinated you, “The gods of the sea are known for the temperate nature, they often stay away from humans and avoid interfering with the mortal coil. Death by water is merely a request they carry out for the gods of death and destruction and thus, there is goddess who rules over the violence of the sea itself.”

Just as he finishes his sentence, the temper of the sea seems to roar to life, the swollen waves crashing aggressively, still not close enough to reach you.

Not yet at least...

“Cymopoleia, is the goddess of violent sea storms. Poseidon, her father, tasked her with overseeing the malignant waters and tending to the causalities. She was not the creator of the storms but she carried the ability.” He moves through the story as if he has told it a 100 times but he seems captivated by it nonetheless, “When it came time for her to bear a child. She conjured up a spirit from within her very core. She crafted them out of the essence of the sea and placed them inside of clamshell in her palace. She was awaiting the full moon when someone snuck into the depths of the ocean and stole them from her.”

The gasp that leaves your lips cannot be helped, you didn’t realize how engrossed you were until suddenly you recognize the port from another town nearby.

You had been walking awhile.

“Why would someone do that?” You press, shaking your head.

He sends a solemn look your way, “Many thoughtless humans believe that if they capture the essence of a god, they will become one themselves. Foolishly, he opened the clam shell and released the spirit into the world. By the time the goddess found him, it was too late- but she delegated his fate anyway. She took his life beneath the depths of a violent storm and placed a curse upon anyone who shared his bloodline. She made it so that any one of his descendants would bear the physical embodiment of his fate.”

“So, they look like they’ve died at sea?”

He can’t help but smirk, a bit of the darkness you saw at the tower, beginning to creep back. “Indeed. They are horribly disfigured and regardless of their efforts, they all meet the same fate. His lineage believes that if they send enough offerings out to sea or if they build high enough walls, that they will somehow escape their deaths. But of course, this if futile- the goddess vowed that she would continue to collect them until her spirit was returned.”  

His story ends and it’s like something clicks within you. Without warning, you squeeze his hand, slowing both of you to a stop, just before the light of the upcoming pier hits you.  

“Does this have something to do with my town? Is that why you’re telling me this?”  

Lord Invictus certainly fit the description for a descendent of this thief and, although it bores no sense of logic- you have no choice but to believe it anyway.  

It all fits together too well...

He turns towards you now, his smirk now a small smile, “It has to do with you Y/N.”

Your brow furrows, “Me? What do you mean?”

He nods to your coat, something otherworldly lingering in his eyes, “I’d like to see what you’ve brought with you now.”

Still riddled with confusion, you reach inside your coat and find that the item you had brought with you (a beaded necklace gifted to you at birth by your parents) had turned into something else.  

And now, sitting in the palm of your hand- was a clamshell.  

“What is this? This isn’t what I brought to you- I-” You begin to panic, confusion and fear starting to take over, “Did you do this? Did you take my necklace?”

Finally, the sinister smirk returns as his wings begin to unfurl from behind his back. Along with his shift in expression, another danger is brewing very close to you- you can feel it.  

The sea is growing irritated and whipping the wind and the water up into a frenzy. As you look toward the water, you have no choice but to look on in horror as you see the beginning of something deadly.  

A rogue wave.

The grip on your hand tightens as his extraordinary strength keeps you in place.  

“I think it’s time I formally introduce myself-” His voice is loaded with bad intentions but it sounds sweet anyway as he burns his gaze into yours, “My name is Jimin. Son of Tartarus, the god of punishment and Nyx, the goddess of the night.”

Your eyes are wide with desperation, not fully registering what he said before he’s yanking you against his chest and turning you to face the sea. Standing behind you, he unleashes a spell of wicked laughter as his wings unfurl from behind is back to wrap around the both of you, so that the only thing you’re able to see is the wall of water coming for you.  

“I have to come to send you home Y/N...your mother has been waiting for you a very long time.”

His arms are wrapped around you now, crushing you against his chest as his wings begin flapping- the wind picking up furiously around you.

“Jimin!” You scream, eyes welling up with tears, “You promised you wouldn’t hurt me! You promised! Why are you doing this to me?!”

He laughs at you, and it isn’t necessarily malevolent but merely amused, as if he in on a joke you weren’t part of.

“Shhhh, quiet down my little sea nymph...” He whispers salaciously into your ear, “...your fate will be painless.”

You’re crying now, digging your nails into his skin, attempting to break free as the massive creature that is the ocean rushes towards you without mercy. The crest of the wave arches above you proudly, the swirling darkness of the water mocking the mere audacity of your existence but, as you brace for impact- it never comes.  

Only the darkness does...

And it’s the darkness that consumes you.  

“Jimin!” A voice breaks into your subconscious, luring you out of what you hope was a nightmare, “You couldn’t have brought her home without scaring her? She was practically driftwood when she arrived here.”

That familiar twinkle of laughter sounds then and, it forces your eyes open.  

“I’m sorry your grace- it's just in my nature.” He defends poorly, still chuckling to himself, “I can’t imagine my brothers are doing much better.”

You are somewhere extraordinary, that much is certain. Above your immediate line of sight is an ornate glass ceiling that seems to glow a cerulean blue. All around you are gold furnishings, each decorated with various moldings of sea creatures.  

“She’s awake!”  

Your vision, still slightly cloudy, now lands upon a being so beautiful- that you have to blink a few times to ensure you’re seeing the right thing. Draped in blue silk and decorated with gold and pearls, is a woman who looks at you with nothing but love in her eyes.

“Oh my- its really you...”

She seems tentative but, you’re suddenly overcome with joy- filled with an almost cosmic sense of peace.  

“Mother!” You cry, rushing off of the bed you were laying on and into her arms.  

She takes you in her arms immediately, her skin cool against yours like the tepid waters of the bay. She sniffles, tightening her grip on you,

“I knew you’d come home...I knew one day I would find you.”

And it really doesn’t make much sense does it?

How could your life swing so violently from one direction to the next?

Your life on earth seems so insignificant now...now that you’re back with her.  

Cymopoleia- queen of violent sea storms and, your mother.  

She explains it all to you, gently stroking your hair and fawning over you.  

The spirit in the depths was you. Born into a human body, you were fated to one day meet with the demi-god of darkness, who with a bit of trickery- would return you to your rightful place in the cosmos.  

Your mother assures you that your mortal family would be relieved of your memory until it was safe for you to visit them, until the gods of fate decide. In addition, Lord Invictus would be the last of the bloodline to pay for what his ancestor had done and, the fog of greed and corruption- which begin the day you were born, would soon be lifted.  

The explanation is long and doesn’t leave you completely fulfilled but, your mother assures you that you have all the time in the world to understand the complexity of the universe.  

Hours later, after you’ve had a decent feast, your mother instructs Jimin to escort you to your bedroom.  

As he leads you down the hallway towards your chambers, you send a playful glare his way, “So- how much of what you told me was a lie?”

He merely smirks, “None of it.”

You scoff, “Even the part of about your voice? And all that nonsense about excitement and me being curious? You knew all along what was to happen- you just tricked me.”

Jimin chuckles darkly, stopping just outside your bedroom door before turning to you, “The part about my voice frightening people wasn’t a lie, Y/N. My father is the god of punishment, any mortal that hears my voice usually cowers in fear...”

“Is that why I felt so drawn to you? Because you were meant to take me home?”  

His smirk broadens, “No...you feel drawn me because you want to fuck me.”

Your mouth goes completely dry at his bold statement but, you are unable to deny it- your fingers suddenly twitching at your side.

“Wh-”

“It’s not your fault really...” He murmurs, his body shifting towards you, “...it’s just the way I was made. I am used to people lusting after me- however,” Jimin reaches out then, to brush his thumb over the swell of your cheek, “-I have never known true lust until I had the pleasure of meeting you.”

“You lust for me?” You whisper, completely drawn up with desire- finally allowing your true nature, the nature of a demi-goddess pour out of your soul.

He licks his lips, his gaze upon you timid as he presses his thumb into your face, “I do.”  

You turn to the side suddenly, capturing his thumb between your lips, “Show me.”

It's all it takes: that one phrase of consent being enough to unleash all the urges within him.

You’re inside your chamber seconds later, Jimin clawing at the fabric of your robe, his fingers digging into your skin as he does, his lips latching on to every part of you he can reach.

“I knew the moment you walked into my tower-” He grunts, “I knew- there was no way a mortal could be tempting, so dreadfully seductive.”

You sigh hopelessly, raking your hands through the sapphire tendrils on his head, your lips ghosting along the swell of his cheek, the tail of his brow, the shell of his ear...

“In the underworld...” He’s practically growling now, scratching his nails up the newly exposed skin of your back, “We are never taught to refuse our desires. You were my greatest challenge- it took everything in me not to devour you right there.”

You smirk now, positioning your lips at his ear, “I wouldn’t have known what to do with you though- aren't you glad you were patient?”

He grunts again, pressing his hips against yours defiantly, “Patience is for virtuous gods- “ He doesn't answer your question but, you know that he means yes. In spite of his darker nature, Jimin still believes in doing the right thing.... most of the time.  

He has you on the bed moments later, his wings spreading proudly. He’s panting, his eyes completely black with lust as he nudges your legs open, determined to finally taste what he’s been craving.  

For the demi-god of darkness, denying his desires for even a second is painful. He aches to fufill them over and over again...

You were certainly no exception.  

But you want to keep teasing him...

Reaching down, you spread yourself open for him- feeling the visceral substance of your arousal sticking to your inner thighs.

“What are you waiting for then?” You lean up, grasping your hand behind his neck and staring directly into the abyss that is his gaze, “Defile me...”

Jimin growls, sliding into you instantly, his hands quickly bracing themselves on either side of your head. He smirks as your eyes roll back the sheer pleasure of him inside of you causing your nipples to harden.  

“Oh look at that-” He chuckles, his own expression unstable with pleasure, “Are you going brain dead already hm? Is this cock that good?”

Your eyes come back into play as you stare up at him, your hands gripping either side of his face as he starts a power rhythm within you.  

This wasn’t meant to last long, the carnal desire too much for either one of you to handle...

Perhaps, if your feelings permitted it- you'd make love another time.  

Nodding, you moan as he increases the rhythm, pressing your forehead against his own.  

“You feel so good.” You whisper, “I didn’t know it could- oh...” A whimper leaves your lips as he hits that spot inside of you, the pleasure completely ruining your ability to speak.

“Of course you didn’t- you’ve only ever let mortals play with your pretty cunt haven’t you?” He laughs, mocking you and cooing all at once, “And now that I’ve gotten ahold of it, you’re never going to want anyone else. I will ruin you ugh-” He finally breaks, his own brow furrowed with the onslaught of his release as you tighten around him, “-ugh fuck yes. I can feel how badly your cunt wants me- it's like you’re begging me to cum.”

“I want you to cum,” You whisper shakily, kissing at his mouth, “Fill me up please, I need it.”

He growls, kissing you back with just as much fervor, his hips moving so fast that the pleasure fucks with your vision.  

“I’m going to make a mess of you, they will smell me on you until I can come back-” He promises, smirking ever so slightly, “and then- I'll paint the inside of you all over again won’t I? Such a masterpiece this cunt will be...and you’ll be all mine, cumming only for me.”  

And he wasn’t wrong because, mere seconds later- the two of you are cumming all over one another, ruining the silk sheets with your release and clawing desperately at one another.  

With the mutual utterance of your names, Jimin collapses beside you and, moments later- when you get your wits about you, he is ushering you onto his chest.  

Sweaty, exhausted and satisfied, you lay together in silence for quite a while.

Until finally you speak, “I’m not quite sure what came over me.”

Jimin chuckles but this time, the sound is much warmer than you’re used to, “Immortal lust, it’s a blessing and a curse but, eternal life has to stay interesting somehow.”

You trace patterns on his chest whilst he covers your body with one of his wings, the feathers teasing at your sensitive skin.

“Did you mean it?”  

And he doesn’t even bother asking, he knows exactly what you’re referring to.

“I want you.” He affirms, “If you’ll have me- I felt quite possessive of you then but, I won’t insist on anything you aren’t comfortable with.”

You smile, tracing a heart directly over the spot where his heart would beat, “It fits doesn’t it? You and I?”

If the past few days have taught you anything, it is that sometimes- it is appropriate to succumb to fate. Sometimes, believing in the simplicity of destiny works out. Being with Jimin felt right and, for now, this was enough.  

“It does.” His statement is simple but his expression says it all: he is elated.

You fall back into comfortable silence once again before one more pressing question leaves your lips, “Did I hear you mention something about your brothers earlier?”

Jimin nods, his eyes half-closed as he cuddles closer to you, “You did. I have six of them.”

“Are they- like you?” You murmur, unable to stop your curiosity.

He nods again, “They are.”

You think one more question will suffice but, his answer will unfortunately bring about a thousand more, “Are they all on missions too?”

Jimin’s trademark smirk shows itself once again as he snickers, “They are-” He repeats before a great sense of pride comes over his expression...

“I was just the first one to return.”

A/N: should this be a series? asking for a friend...