#but it's the way we react to these thoughts that matters

[championofthefade]

I’ve been thinking about this a lot myself lately. Not sure I have all the words to articulate it correctly, however. I genuinely am uncertain if this makes sense but here are my thoughts:

Justice and Anders merge together at the end of Awakening willingly (assumed and with some nudging done by Nathaniel if he’s alive still). Justice is then inside of a man that is angry at the way the world treats mages. Whether it had been Anders’ anger that twisted Justice or not, living in Kirkwall of all places definitely didn’t help as OP said. (Look at how Justice reacts with Karl in Anders’ companion quest.) Justice is being denied his purpose actively in Kirkwall. There is a clear imbalance between the mages and the Templars and there’s nothing that could be done to improve it, no matter how hard you try. An injustice of a system that doesn’t work for either side, imo. (Fuck the chantry, honestly.) The way we see it play out is that Anders writes his manifesto (in a rivalry) and is possessed by Justice when the Chantry goes up in flames. That was Vengeance, acting on its own accord because there way no other way to get results. Peace was thin as it was, even before Meredith’s Right of Annulment or Orsino’s turn to blood magic. Peace was a bandaid solution at best (imo) and probably wouldn’t have worked in the long run.

Lucanis and Spite, on the flip side, did not merge willingly. In a banter with Bellara, we learn Zara had used a method she learned from a cult in Orlais used to corrupt Seekers since they are immune to demons. This made me think of the Order of Fiery Promise, who force fed Cassandra’s apprentice, Daniel, red lyrium (he said it felt like a demon). Lucanis compared it to a “parasite in uncooked meat”, which is probably how he sees Spite, as a parasite (initially before coming to an agreement). We know that Spite is referred to many times as a Spirit of Determination (Seer Rowan, Compassion, Solas, and Hall of Valor Arena Isabela announcement), and he was possibly twisted before being forced to possess Lucanis because Spite probably didn’t want to possess a body (Solas parallel?). In spite of the year of torture and being forced to become an abomination, Lucanis walks a very poorly thought out plan of drinking coffee and not sleeping to avoid being possessed. Because it doesn’t always work. There are a few gaps I think needed to be filled in regards of just how much influence Spite had on Lucanis like Justice had on Anders, but I digress. In the end, Spite and Lucanis are able to come to an agreement (depending on how you play) that they could agree to complete ‘contracts’ together as a team. Examples of this is if you say save Caterina or get revenge for Illario’s betrayal.

My point is, Lucanis and Anders had different approaches to their possessions. I don’t think either of them fully came to terms with being abominations, but they found a way to live with it. And depending upon how you play their stories, mainly Anders in this, it’s a matter of can you still see the man or is it the monster he was afraid of becoming.

i think it’s a little unfair to compare spite and justice’s ability to act normal against each other, or to act like spite just being a misbehaving cat diminishes how hard it was for anders justice to cope with possession. spirits in the material world get upset when they can’t fulfil the pure ideal they seek. spite is a creature of spite and gets to kill people trying to hurt it basically all the time. justice is a creature of justice and was living in fucking kirkwall

[therealmylesmorales]

Dating Loser!Vi Headcannons

A lot of this was thought about with the homie @ficsonpost-its, kind of a way for us to cope with the ending of Arcane 🙃

And I never cared enough to follow the plot so this is a college!au where everyone is alive and (maybe) happy

Warnings: Vi herself is kind of a warning, masc4masc couple if it matters, maybe suggestive at some parts, some parts with Jayce are inspired by “the blind leading the blind” stuff one tictok

She met you through Ekko. You were his (adoptive, biological wtfever shut up) sister and safe to say, she was borderline obsessed with you. But, she didn’t know how to approach you at first. Her very obvious crush on you was noticed by both Ekko and Jinx so they took it upon themselves to help her out.

To get some extra money, she works at her dad’s bar, The Last Drop. She’s a bouncer and whenever she’s around, people tend to behave themselves. It was a normal night until Vi saw you chatting up a storm to Vander and she immediately started to panic. But it all seemed to go on well, seeing how the night ended with your number in her pocket.

Vi can count all of the friends she has on one hand, one of them being her sister. So safe to say, when she admitted that she somehow has a girlfriend, none of them believed her. Jayce even called her a liar until she pulled up pictures.

Vi was out one day when she bought you both matching boxers. She cherishes them like it’s her most prized possession, next to you and the brass knuckles Vander gave her.

“Vi, what are these?”

”Batman boxers!”

You couldn’t help but match her wide smile. “Why Batman?”

”Cause he’s a fucking goat.”

Vi will full on body slam or suplex you, carefully, on the nearest couch or bed whenever you seem to be minding your business. The first few times caught you by surprise but now, it’s almost a daily occurrence that you look forward to.

Vi’s fashion taste is something you admire; from the ripped jeans to the cropped muscle shirts that she cut herself, you have nothing but good things to say about her clothes. However, in the comfort of her own home, she never wears a shirt. It’s even rare to find her in her sports bra while she’s lounging around.

“It’s nine in the morning, why are your tits out?”

”Are you complaining?”

”Of course not. But Jayce is coming over so he might.”

You can hear her groaning the entire time but she’ll do it.

Speaking of Jayce, it’s never a good idea to leave them alone for too long or else something would happen. Separately, they’re geniuses but together…those brain cells are nonexistent.

“Vi, it’s been fourteen hours, where the hell were you?”

”Oh, I was getting that tattoo I told you about.”

”For fourteen hours?”

”Yeah, Jayce was with me and he thought it was a good idea to get it done in one sitting. He even got something!”

Needless to say, both you, Mel and Viktor always expect something to go wrong with those two. (Have we lost the art of a good poly-ship? Jayce has two hand so just kiss and shut up)

Do not EVER call her Violet, she’ll think you are upset with her and will probably tweak out and cry. The only acceptable names to call her are Vi, obviously, or ‘Pretty Girl.’ You were only a few months into your relationship when you called her that, she spent like 5 minutes in straight silence not really sure how to react; something you did notice was that her face was as red as her hair.

Vi will also lay her complete body weight on top of you when you lay down; it's one of her favorite ways of cuddling. (For my gamer!readers) Especially if you’re playing a game, you will wrap your arms around her with the controller laying on her back. The both of you will stay there for hours.

“Motherfucker.”

”Die again, cupcake?” She muttered into your chest.

“Radahn is ass.”

A little something extra for my black!readers that love Vi 🫶🏾

Say you can’t find your bonnet. You looked all up and down the apartment, pretty much flipping it over but it was still nowhere to be found. And seeing how it was your favorite, you were a little upset that it was gone. Until Vi came out of the bathroom, said bonnet on her head, giving you a small smile, completely unaware of what she was doing.

[giggly-squiggily]

Hiii! For your sentence starters can you do ler!Sanemi and lee!Muichiro where like yk how Muichiro was training with both Sanemi and Obanai so Sanemi decides to take him down with tickles! And Muichiro thinks it's silly and he tries to complain saying that he's a hashira too, but whenever he tries to say "hashira" Sanemi goes for a death spot making the word dissolve in giggles. Maybe have a hint of teasing Obanai too?

So the sentence started will be smth like "Stohop ihihit! I'm a ha-HAHahaHAhaha! Hehehey!"

{Puffs are now CLOSED!}

*happy clapping noises* I LOVE!!! I love love LOVE! :D Friend, I've gotcha covered! :3

“Get him.” Muichiro didn’t have a second to react.

“Wait- wait what-AH” He squeaked when he was suddenly ambushed, Obanai and Sanemi tackling him to the ground. “W-what happened to training together?”

“This is training!” Sanemi hands grabbed onto Muichiro’s ribs, earning a surprised squeak. “You’re a kid though. We have to go easier on you!”

“Whahhahat? Stahhhap it! I’m a hahahah-AHAHhahahahhaha!” Any complaints he was going to make were cut off by Obanai adding to the fray, grabbing his knees and squeezing. “Nohohohoho, nhohohohot thehehehehere!”

“What? I can’t hear you.” Obanai called back, smiling under his mask. “You’re a what now?”

“I think he said he’s a haaa-pfft-aAA?” Sanemi tried to mimic the sound, giggling halfway through. “What was it again, bud?”

“Ehehehek! I sahhahid I’m a hahhaah-AHAHAH!” Once again at his attempt to say “Hashira”, Sanemi and Obanai attacked a particularly bad spot. “Yoohooohu’re dohohohoing thahahhat on puhuhuhurpohoohhoose!”

“Doing what? We’re just training. Aren’t we, Iguro?”

“Why yes, Shinazugawa. This is appropriate training for someone like Tokito.” Obanai nodded, wiggling his fingers beneath Muichiro’s knees. “He has far too much to learn still before he can train the way we do.

“Agreed. Very wise reasoning.”

“Yoohohohu twhoohoho are fuhuhuhuhll of ihihihihit! Ahehahahhaha, I’m nohohohoht sohohohome wehehehahak khihihiihd! I’m a hahah-AHHAHEHEHA!” Muichiro let out a shriek when Sanemi shoved a hand under his back, clawing at his back. “Nohohohoohoohoh, dohohohon’t!”

“Oo, I found a bad spot!” Sanemi snorted as he flipped the younger boy over, focusing all his efforts into the sensitive spots against his lower back.  “Come on then- show us how strong you really are! Fight back!”

“Aheahahhahaha! Gehhahahhahaha! Nohohohoho, thahhaht’s nohohohot fhahahahhair!” Muichiro flopped like a fish against the ground, kicking his feet helplessly as his back and knees were ruthlessly attacked. “Dohoohohn’t trehehahaht me lihihike a kihiihihd!”

“Hm. Shinazugawa. Your thoughts on that?” Obanai asked, pausing his tickles alongside his friend.

“Hmm…yeah, I guess we can do that.” Sanemi gave Muichiro one last tickle before ruffling his hair. “Ready to train for real, Tokito?”

“Eheh..ehehehe..yeahha..yeah. I’m so gonna get you back!” Muichiro shot up like a rocket, tackling Sanemi to the ground. In a matter of seconds, the cycle repeated itself. “Take this!”

“GAH! Aheahhahahaha! Iihihiguruo hehehehelp!” Sanemi pleaded, flailing an arm for assistance.

“.....Nah.” Obanai sat back on the stairs, snickering at the noise of betrayal Sanemi made. “Get him good, Tokito. It was his idea, by the way.”

“I’ihihihihll gehhehet yooohohou bahahhack!”

“Sure you will.”

[glamourscat]

୨୧ Shidou's hcs ୨୧

CW: nothing?? maybe a little angst

a meme sender. Idk he just gives off those vibes, he would probably fill any messaging chat w random memes. Or even worse, reacts to some of your messages with those really cringe meme reaction pictures ... like this one

takes pictures on your phone when you leave it around. Good luck w your storage, cause it will always be full of random pictures. From forehead pics, funny faces, pictures of you sleeping

We know that one of his fav/best subjects at school aside from PE was art. I like to think he likes art as a hobby, especially after a stressfull day on the field. Mostly painting or sketching, but I can see photography and music especially.

It’s no secret that he doesn’t fit in. From his bold and extravagant style, I mean the guy's colour palette is literally hot pink, but that aside is — he is literally the total opposite of what the Japanese culture claims to be. Unapologetically loud, extroverted, doesnt accept societal norms. No wonder he is seen as an outsider in blue lock lmao. Especially because, like Bachira but slightly different, Shidou doesn’t play because he wants to win. Not like Isagi, not like Rin, who if they lose a match will go absolutely nuts. He plays because he just wants to play. His philosophy on football is to leave a mark, big enough that people know he was there and to just enjoy football as it is.

But, with that said, taking in consideration his philosophy and the way he lives, I think he would be into someone who’s pretty much the opposite of what society expects. He doesn’t want “the society standard”, he doesn’t want you to change yourself because of him (eg: shaving, cutting hair like you think he would like, less or more makeup etc..) he wants you to be yourself. From your clothes to the way you present yourself. He wants someone that can be loud as him, unafraid to be free— to search for that freedom with him, but at the same time someone who’s brave enough to be calm during the storm (aka at night when you two are alone with your thoughts and feelings) 

His partner will be the same coin, just different side of it. Someone that can literally match his freak lol, but who’s different enough to anchor him down. Someone who sees the world in colours, someone who’s unconventional in the eyes of all. 

Aesthetically wise, I don’t think it really matters to him. Again, it’s a matter of vibes mostly. Still, I can see him taking a liking into people who have unconventional features or fashion style. Anyone who "doesn't fit in". Both people with muscle and plus size people. He gives me the vibes of someone who would enjoy squeezing the living out of you, I can’t explain why. If you’re into makeup, even better. I think colour wise, his partner would have a clothing palette maybe similar to his. Some colourful stuff, mixed with base colours. I don’t see him with someone that just dresses with one tone/colour. Someone who maybe doesn’t even have a particular fixed style, but every day dresses differently base on their mood. 

Just by taking a look at what his favourite manga, movie and song is (i go in more detail about my analysis on them here) I feel he is an extreme political being. His style was already a dead giveaway, but, the fact he likes those three pieces of media that hold such heavy political discourse, the lack of freedom, the sense of feeling trapped… I would say he is someone who’s definitely involved in politics. See it as you wish. 

Lastly, i think he struggles to make friends. It’s no secret, he comes across as strong, personality wise— extremely imposing. His aura has probably scared a few people off before. He probably craves those deep, intense, friendships with someone.

let me know your thoughts on them!

© glamourscat

[lover-of-mine]

OK since you brought up the Tommy break up thing, well I'm weighing in because this has been bothering me with the narrative it has anything to do with sexuality

Honestly, if you disagree, please enlighten me because I would love to know.

IRL. I dated a guy who had a girl best friend. It didn't bother me at all. She was cool. But after a few months we were out shopping and he saw something that reminded him of her and he got it. Still not threatened but started watching. After subtle questions it was clear they had never been single at the same time. The way he talked about her, seriously subconsciously in love with her. When I did catch deeper feelings, I did initiative a friendly break up. I wasn't jealous or petty. Never even mentioned her. But in the back of mind it was clear. If she ever game him the chance he would probably take it. Who knows how deep I would have been then.

Honestly both the nicest people. To this day nothing has happened between them that brings me to my next point. She maybe wasn't subconsciously in love with him. She never showed any jealousy to me. But the point was I knew he was. That's Tommy's story. If you didn't catch it by his surprised me in E4 then I can't help you.

Them screaming Eddie's straight. It doesn't matter. Tommy knew from the beginning there was a third person in their relationship. He was having fun but avoided the feelings catch. He saw them together. He knows!!!

Long story short take the sexuality out of it. The story makes complete sense. Buck and Eddie were always going to be shadows in each other's relationships. Tommy was just the first to really see.

I totally agree. I was the girl best friend, and not going to detail on how I actually imploded my oldest friendship, my whole life if he got a girlfriend she never reacted well to me and i was always ready to say it's not like that, he's family, and all that. Hell, the day that I realized that I might have been in love with him, I actually like I laughed at the idea of being his girlfriend because someone assumed and then something happened and I was like oh fuck. I never thought about it like that, but he was the only person that my ex would go 🤨, all of his girlfriends I needed to prove myself too (i never had a problem with it, I knew what it looked like it but for me it wasn't like that until it was), it was always a situation where I felt like they were seeing something that we weren't. Now with the current clarity I have about the situation, I'm like okay I see it now, I guess there was something there, I just wasn't aware of it. And Tommy has a clarity that none of Buck's girlfriends had, that it's the fact that he knows Buck is queer. And when you take that into consideration and you look at his relationship with Eddie, there is only so much you can do without being like, okay how long until you wake up and realize you're in love with him. So I think it's a lot about protecting himself in the long run, it's not about sexuality, it's about the fact that Tommy has an insight to Buck and Eddie's relationships that none of the girlfriends ever had. He sees them from an outsider point of view and he has the knowledge that Buck's queer and knowing that it's harder to ignore it, to not be like, yeah how long until I'm in too deep and he realizes his feelings. So yeah, I don't think it's was about the sexuality at all, it was about the the fear of getting into deep and wondering what would happen if Eddie became an option.

[kulemiwrites]

November 17: Kazuma Kiryu

The (No)vember Experiment

What’s the longest you and your dreamboat have gone without getting frisky? Are the two of you constantly teeming with insatiable desire? Can’t keep your hands to yourselves for more than a moment? Depending on your answers to any one of those questions, the idea of going an ENTIRE month without chasing “The Big O” may sound like either a breeze, a curse or a blessing in disguise! Wouldn’t you like to find out which? 

That’s right! We at the KW♥️LOVE offices are challenging our readers and their lovers to a month-long experiment to test their self-restraint! Yes, you read that right– AN ENTIRE MONTH without “The Big O”! Think you can handle it? Rip off the October page of that wall calendar, whip out your favorite marker and get to X’ing off the days until you complete(or forfeit) the NOvember experiment!

We encourage all participants to print out the survey we’ve created for the occasion to fill out and give feedback on your experiences! Keep them for your records in case you participate again next NOvember, discard them when the experiment is over or send them in and we’ll include your feedback in next month’s intimacy column!

[Any submissions will be carefully reviewed by our team. All personal identifiers such as names and unique nicknames will be redacted to ensure the safety and security of our readers before publishing.]

Rating: 18+ Characters: Kazuma Kiryu & GN! Reader A/N: The idea here is that KW♥️LOVE (Sometimes just KW, and broken into sections) is a fictional version of Cosmopolitan. I was feeling nostalgic over the bygone age of the magazine lol. Surveys are filled out by the character. You determine how the reader would answer their own.)

READ ON A03

Portrait used on calendar is used with permission of the artist @fabylp

The furrows in his brows were made more prominent the longer he stared at your message: a single skull emoji and words written in all capital letters, ‘DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SENT ME?!’ which was followed by a combination of punctuation that he could only describe as exaggerated. No matter how long he turned the situation over in his mind, he couldn’t fathom why you’d react in such a way. 

Wasn’t this the exact sort of thing you were talking about when you vocalized your dissatisfaction in the relationship with him? Something about bonding and rekindling the connection?

It felt a little foolish now, but he was so certain that you’d have been over the moon with the idea. Was it really bad enough to warrant such an adverse reaction? 

He supposed he could return to the drawing board and do a little more research but he wasn’t sure if he had it in him at this very moment. With a light sigh, he locked his phone and lifted himself off of the grey sectional, ignoring his cell when it dropped onto the floor near the ottoman. 

He decided that he could go and check in about dinner. At least, that he knew you’d appreciate. 

The moment and not a second later that your eyes fell onto him you burst into a laughing fit which only further confused him. Not only was his idea bad, but it was hilarious to you? That couldn’t have been it could it? He’d begun to wonder if he’d somehow missed something. 

“What is it?” he asked, and he wondered if you could pick up on his mild frustration or if he'd done a decent enough job of masking it. 

“That thing you sent me!” you continued to giggle as you dipped your wooden ladle into the steaming stock pot. “What made you send that out of the blue?”

He stared at you for a moment. 

Wasn’t he just on the receiving end of your tears a few nights ago as you confessed that you felt as if the two of you drifted? That you were feeling neglected? That he didn’t try enough to have quality time with you?

What could have been so random about the idea? As far as he was concerned, it was fairly topical. 

The corners of his mouth tugged downward before he finally spoke up, “I thought you would enjoy that sort of thing… You said that we didn’t spend enough time together these days.”

After the words came out, he realized how accusatory he sounded but he didn’t intend for it to come off that way. He just couldn’t swallow his frustration. 

Nothing about this felt right. 

“I’m sorry, Kazuma. I don’t mean to laugh.” though you had a pretty funny way of showing it. “It’s just a little– Okay, so you think that by having less sex, we could–”

“Less what?” 

He had no clue what expression he was making but the moment he registered realization washing over your features, he was quickly able to piece together that the two of you seemed to be having totally different conversations. 

“Y-you sent a link to an article…” you said, laying the ladle down to whip out the cell phone in your back pocket. “A couple’s test or challenge or something? No sex for 30 days?”

“I did? I–”

Very quickly he found himself at your side, chest pressed to your shoulder as you flicked your thumb across the screen to pull up the article in question. 

Right there in big, bold, black letters were the words The (No)vember Experiment. The tension he didn’t even realize was in his neck and shoulders melted away in an instant. 

So, it was a misunderstanding… Of course, it was a misunderstanding!

Truthfully, if he weren’t so preoccupied with his relief that you didn’t dislike his idea so strongly, he might have found himself feeling a little more embarrassed at the contents of the article that he did send which you so graciously chose to read aloud. 

“I meant to send something else.” he said, folding an arm over his chest as he used his free hand to stroke at his goatee. “Not sure how a mix up like that could happen…”

“Well,” you smiled, looking over your shoulder at him. “It wouldn’t be the first time, right?”

Right… 

Well, he’d never been the best with technology. 

Just when he thought he’d figured one thing out, it’s suddenly replaced by something new and slightly more complicated. He could never keep up. Between you and his kids, he was able to learn enough about his phone to get by but that didn’t come without its mishaps. 

The most recent example that he could recall was the time he accidentally sent a photo of these special series cleats that Mitsuo wanted to Haruka then inquired about the size he needed. Thinking that it was meant to be a surprise, she was able to help but after he sent a text of gratitude with the other’s name, she teased him about the mix up for days– and she’d even gotten Mitsuo in on it, who promptly texted him asking if he’d accidentally save their numbers under the wrong names. 

It was a little embarrassing but a much needed lesson because since then, he’s made certain that he’s sending his messages to the intended party but… what use was that when he wound up sending the wrong things?

Your voice lured him back to the present when you asked what he meant to send and his ears began to heat up at the thought of having to explain it now, in person. 

“Something about having a two person book club together.” he managed. 

You enjoyed reading and he didn’t mind himself reading a good book every once in a while. It seemed harmless enough. The author of the article described it as ‘the perfect way to engage in meaningful conversation while subtly promoting the importance of one-on-one time’ and while you didn’t quite use that many words, that was roughly what you were hinting at in that tear-filled conversation.

He thought that by sharing the idea, you’d realize that he didn’t ignore your needs like you thought he did. He wanted you to be happy, but he didn’t quite nail the execution. 

“Oh, was it this one?” you asked, tapping a recommended article on the side of the small screen. 

One look at the sappy stock photo and he knew that it was the one.

“Yeah.” he answered, taking a few steps back from you to rest against the wall as you read over the article and when you finished, you beamed at him.

“Wait, this is actually a really cute idea!”

He felt a triumphant smile tugging at his lips but he fought against it and repeated his same simple affirmation from before. 

“Are you sure that this is something you want to try? I mean, you won't find it boring or anything?”

He gave you a nod and finally, a small smile now that he felt confident enough to contain it. 

Your eyes raked over him as you absentmindedly tapped your cell against your chin, obviously turning something over in your own head. Then, your eyes glimmered when you reached your conclusion. 

“What do you think of combining both ideas?” you asked. 

The furrows returned, “‘Both’?” 

“The November thing and the book club idea?”

Truthfully, after feeling so pleased with himself for getting to see the reaction he’d hoped for, he’d very quickly forgotten about his little blunder. He’d have to go over it again to understand the details but when you beamed at him the way you were, he figured that it couldn’t hurt. So, he agreed. 

However, when your sweet smile twisted into something a little more sinister, he considered if maybe, just maybe, he should have asked a couple of follow up questions before signing at the proverbial dotted line. 

“I know exactly which book we can start with.” you said, returning your attention to the stockpot on the stove. “I’ll order them after I finish up here.”

He nodded, then offered you a helping hand as he’d originally intended albeit, now feeling a little more chipper.

(No)vember Experiment. Initial Survey Are both of you participating? Yes Have you ever practiced abstaining from sex for any period of time before? Never thought about it that way, but yes Do you believe you are capable of completing this experiment? Probably Do you believe in your partner(s)’ ability to complete this experiment? Probably Do you predict a “loser"? Hopefully neither Initial thoughts on the month ahead? I wonder what we’ll read together

You’d lost him. He was quiet. Quieter than usual. It was your anniversary and he was quiet for goodness sake. Your talk from the other night crossed your mind and you considered if maybe you’d pressured him so much that now he was feeling too overwhelmed to make an effort. 

But, that couldn’t have been it, right? 

After all, why would he pull out all the stops planning such a beautiful evening? Gussying himself up in semi-formal attire that was as closely matched to yours as possible? Pushing himself out of his comfort zone to woo you? Wine and dine you? Surely he wouldn’t exhaust all that effort just to shut you out the moment you hailed a cab home… 

Right?

Actually, there had been something a little off about him since your entrees were placed in front of you. At first you considered that perhaps, he’d had a little too much to drink but after his second whiskey, he’d practically gorged himself in water. 

So, that couldn’t be it. 

It was such a shame, you thought as you slid your key into the front door lock. He looked so mouthwateringly delectable tonight that if he’d have suggested skipping dessert so that you could rush home, you wouldn’t have been the least bit upset about it. 

Drawn in to him by the scent of that cologne that had a Pavlovian effect on your body, you wanted to smother him. 

Shower him your affection. 

Drown him in smooches from one head to the other and otherwise, thank him for such a lovely– no, magical evening. 

However, this mood of his was anything but encouraging and when he ripped himself out of his coat at the first click of the unlocked door as if he couldn’t get out of it fast enough, you were practically resigned to the fact that the ‘magical evening’ you were internally gushing over had drawn to a premature close. 

After stepping out of your shoes, you left him in the entryway to kick out of his own and hang up his coat. Toes wiggling in celebration of their new found freedom, you trudged your way down the single step to the living room and over to the sectional then allowed yourself to sink, not caring which way your limbs fell in the process. 

Burying your face into the back cushion, you swallowed hard at the lump forming in your throat. You guessed that Kazuma would head straight to the bedroom to dress down or maybe shower off the long day and when he did, you considered if maybe you’d allow yourself to cry just a little. 

Instead of that, you were met with a heavy blanket of warmth in the form of a man resting his cheek on your rising and falling belly after making room for himself between your parted legs. He’d tucked his hands beneath your waist as he nuzzled into you and a soupçon of that cologne caressed your nostrils. 

You lifted yourself onto your forearms, first spotting his soft dark hair next the sliver of his handsome face. 

“You look so perfect tonight.” he spoke against you, slightly muffling himself. His voice was already so low that you were left questioning if you’d heard what you thought you did. 

Though, judging by the rouge tinting his ear, the likelihood of him repeating himself verbatim was guaranteed to be slim.

“I know I’ve asked this before but, are you sure you’re okay?”

He drew your waist in even tighter and though you couldn’t see his lips fully, the lift at his cheek told you that he’d been smiling when he said, “Never been better.”

You combed through his thick hair, giving the short strands closest to his neck a light twist as you huffed out a sigh. 

“And yet, here I am thinking that you’re upset with me somehow.” 

He almost flinched at your words then lifted himself to get a good look at your face. 

His furrows were deep and his eyes were slightly widened and geez– he had no fucking idea. 

“What–” he began with a grunt as he lifted himself off you entirely. You quickly maneuvered so that he could take a proper seat on the sectional with you. “What would I have to be upset about?”

You humped your shoulders, “I’m not sure, I– I noticed you seemed to get a little strange after a certain point of our dinner and when we got in the taxi–”

“No, sorry, I–” he said, shaking his head. “I’m not upset about anything.”

You wanted to press him for more information but you didn’t fully trust yourself to not sound frustrated so you settled for a mildly expectant look and he understood immediately. 

“All night, I’ve been thinking about how to strike up a conversation about those chapters we were supposed to read. I just wasn’t sure when it would be the right time, considering…” he trailed off. 

Suddenly, it all made so much sense. The hard look in his face when you caught him staring at you, the way he’d suddenly shifted his gaze when you questioned him about it, the dusty rose that tinged his cheeks off and on– all of it was because he was trying to work himself up to discuss the novel you’d been reading together, in public. 

The erotic novel you had been reading together. 

Your lips curled into a smile and at the moment, the memory that you were just seconds away from spending the remaining evening of your anniversary in tears was virtually wiped from the record.

“Damn it, Kazuma.” you hissed, playfully giving his thigh a tap with your foot which he quickly caught and rested in his lap. “You stressed me out for nothing!”

His gaze dropped to your foot as he gave the heel a gentle squeeze and uttered out yet another apology. 

You didn’t need another apology, though. 

This was just yet another instance of you and Kazuma’s neverending trial of miscommunications and misunderstandings. If anyone ever thought to give out awards for that, the two of you would bring home the grandest trophy of them all and yet– You loved that man. 

The excitement of knowing that there was plenty of opportunity to salvage this night, you bounced in your seat and propped yourself onto your elbow that you were now resting against at the back of the sectional. 

“So? What did you think? Do you finally see what I mean when I say that the felon character reminds me of you? Uh, no offense.” you said, raising your hand when you realized how that sounded. 

He chuckled in that soft, airy way that he does as he nodded. “Yeah, I suppose we do have kind of similar qualities– outside of being a felon.”

“I mean, even the way the narrator describes him reminds me of you. I reaaally like him… But, I think in a way, when I picture him in my head, I sort of picture you.”

Again, he chuckled. “I’m not so sure that you’re meant to like him like that–”

“That’s the beauty of erotica. They make the love interest so bad for you that you can’t help but want them.” 

“I’m not sure I get that.” he said, a soft smile still raising his cheeks. “But, I do get what you mean about being reminded of someone… I think I’m sort of drawn to the protagonist because of all the ways I’m reminded of you.” 

“Then I guess they’re a perfect match, huh?”

“In that way, I’d like to think that they are.” he said, now fully massaging your foot. 

“Did you finish both chapters?” you asked, wiggling your brows. “Did you get to the scene of them on the floor?”

Kazuma drew in a sharp breath and his jaws clenched, then he gently removed your foot from his lap and shifted uncomfortably in his seat before answering with a shaky affirmative.

The imagery of the scene in question flashed in your mind and your bottom lip quickly found itself tucked between your teeth. 

For a while, he stared at the floor ahead of him and you couldn’t help but wonder if he was at all thinking what you were. After a long moment of thick silence, he stretched his arms out on the back of the section and slouched a little further into his seat then allowed his head to loll back against it as well. 

Studying his profile; his heavy lidded gaze at the ceiling, the way his perfectly shaped lips hang ever so slightly open, that familiar rouge from nose to ear and that repetitive bob of his Adam’s apple as if he’d found his own saliva too thick to swallow, caused you to squirm in your own seat. 

He was almost too inviting to resist but the moment he turned those heavy lidded eyes on you, you accepted that you couldn’t. 

Kazuma welcomed your sudden impulse to straddle him by caging both sides of your face with his big, warm hands and bringing you in for the greediest of kisses. 

Frenzied.

Impassioned. 

He kissed you with urgency as if kissing you like this was his final hope at keeping you alive but the irony of that was that his intensity left you with very little chance to breathe. For a moment, it was even as if you’d completely forgotten how to. Each tangle of your wet muscles left you moaning through one breath and gasping for air in the next. 

Every part of your body sought to claim him– your nails dragged across his scalp, your lips sucked at his strong neck, your knees locked him in place while your hips and waist rocked and rolled against the part of him that was seemingly just as eager to meet as you were. 

And he didn’t seem to want you any other way. 

Quiet moans pushed through his thoroughly abused lips as his thick fingers burrowed into your thighs, wordlessly encouraging you to make use of him as you saw fit. 

He was so…  receptive tonight and judging by the groans that he’d been choking back, painfully sensitive.

It only just dawned on you just how long it had been since you were last together and you had zero desire in prolonging it any further– not when both your bodies responded to each other so politely. 

His lips were back in hot pursuit of you when you broke away from him, leaving him to look up at you through adoring but intensely heated eyes. His chest heaving. 

He seemed to struggle to let you go when you lifted yourself off his lap and his gaze remained glued to you as you nudged away the weightless ottoman– as you sank down to the floor– as you spread your legs wide for him. 

The moment your index finger curled to beckon him to the floor, he dove to you, yanking his tie on the way down.

(No)vember Experiment CONCLUSION SURVEY Experiment duration? 16 days Did this challenge meet your expectations? Never had any Did you notice anything different about your partner during this time? The types of books that __ reads right under my nose… Will you participate in the (NO)vember Experiment again next year? If ___ wants to Any closing remarks on your experience? It was fine, but I did forget about it

Please do not reupload/repost/rewrite but likes and a reblog go a long way! Thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed this, you're welcome to check out more of my work! I have a masterlist to save you browse time!

[apolloagain]

Chapter 41. Sarahbros we are SO back

My girl DID IT. And I feel vindicated. I'd fully internalised the hopelessness of the situation, but also fully found myself in the place of Sarah- really, REALLY wanting for her to pull through, force the breaking point, and achieve that fantasy of making Rose feel guiltridden as all hell while the indomitable brattiness of Homo Sapience reigns triumphant. I was not expecting that fantasy to be fulfilled yet, but it was! And I'm ngl, good on it. The last few chapters have been ROUGH. I think I can say that we really did need that balance right now, even if it was always going to be wrestled together eventually.

Feeling like me and Ms Floss should get A*s in media literacy. In retrospect, I was reacting exactly how she wants us to, and was given immense satisfaction thanks to it. Like Sarah, pushed to the emotional brink, and been brought out of it. Unlike Sarah, the ploy I was put through worked. One hell of a game of chicken. After the last reblog I saw a comment she posted that made me think that there was more of a chance for Sarah to pull through, though I was still pleasantly surprised. When/if Ms Floss reads this, all I've got to say is, keep playing the game! Don't lose faith in what you're writing, and definitely don't feel the need to drop in promises of what's to come if you don't want to. I can now say from experience that reading this the hard way is very rewarding! I wanted what I wanted badly, and where it matters, I got it- more than I thought I would!

Anyway, yeah, let me bask. Get FUCKED Rose, let that guilt EAT you babe. Finding taming your sophont harder than you thought? Can't have your Sarah and eat her too? Understanding that her oh-so stubborn wants can't just be brute forced away when you lose patience? Maybe, just maybe, realising that there needs to be some genuine respect if you want your middle ground of loving her on your alien terms?

Yeahhhhhh, ferment a little in THAT, why don't you.

Part of me's a little sad that there probably won't be any more punishments, at least for a while if Rose isn't an absolute idiot (maybe something soft if she's soooo desperate to keep up the illusion that she hasn't really fucked up lmao). The author's been promising things get "better", I wondering how much "better" is defined by the wants of people who've been mad at Rose's discipline. Well, first off, last time that I was sad in expectation of my desires not being fulfilled, I was very much surprised. No reason to see that that can't also be the case on the other side of the scale. And secondly- well, you already know. Even if the plans for this are to make it a lot softer and comfy, I have faith that whatever it is, it'll be true to itself and great. Why would I doubt it? I hope the author doesn't!

One things for sure, the angst won't be going away for a whileeeee. I mean, damn. Sarahbros, we're back, but at what cost.

"Every Sophont is a Seed" is a really good HDG fic. Sarah rages like a force of nature, her resistance to the Affini is incredibly strong-willed and really feels like a proper fight (despite, you know, the inevitable). There's good reason for it too- to be THAT much of a fighter, you can't just be intelligent and stubborn, but genuinely, well, mentally unwell and destructive. The arc is going to be a long and richly deserved one.

Also it's hot, also it's regularly updated.

[itsaceokay]

There have been times when I've heard about a new identity or label and my thoughts weren't as supportive as they should be. I'd catch myself wondering whether they're actually real in that 'kids these days' type of way.

And then I'd think: remember when that was you, remember when nobody believed you, when they said it was all in your head that it wasn't real that you'd grow out of it, remember when you were so alone and invisible and hurting every single day, remember when people thought they knew you better than you knew yourself, when you were dismissed and denied and wondered why you were such a freak and whether there really was something wrong with you?

Remember that?

Sometimes different can seem strange, it can be hard to understand even for those of us who have shared similar experiences. But ultimately we're all people who feel like we don't quite belong and it would be a terrible thing to become like the people who made us feel so alone.

[axolotlworld]

The turn Lavos gets trolled in the 2019 Smogon classic tournament recreated with the text from the resulting forum post

[recitedemise]

It doesn't need to be said (I am preaching to the choir), but after seeing a very bad faith interpretation of Gale nearly half a year after release, I am going to say it again regardless!

Gale is a victim, not a perpetrator. In his relationship with Mystra, he was preyed on and hurt, not Mystra. Yes, Mystra told Gale not to seek out the missing part of Weave that is a part of her, but Gale had no idea it was Karsite in nature and was not aware he was looking for something that was actively corrupt and dangerous until Act 3. Mystra did not inform him right out the gate. Gale may have went to seek it out despite her disapproval and erred and doomed himself for it, but Gale was also aiming solely to apologize for...wanting to be her equal. And I am saying it one more time: it is NOT Gale's fault for wanting to be on the same footing with his lover. No one wants to feel like they're looking UP at their lover, beneath them and not worthy of them. Gale was groomed. Gale was preyed on and eyed by Mystra since he was a young boy. He was her pupil, she, his mentor, and later, he became her lover. Of course Gale wants to feel equal to her. Of course Gale wants to be more. How could he not want to be more, to live up to his goddess that gave him an OUNCE of her attention? Lord forbid.

Gale is not some manipulator. How the idea that he, a mere mortal, could manipulate Mystra, a goddess, is truly beyond me—a goddess who told him to literally die to earn her forgiveness. While he may have had a more haughty personality in EA and was originally supposed to have tried to usurp Mystra in CONCEPT, a lot and a considerable lot has changed upon release. Gale is remarkably human. He is remarkably honest. He is so bare, so forward, and is practically the FIRST person to reveal to you everything you need to know about him among the party if you prove yourself trustworthy, which, let's be real, is a low bar (you save a child and he's impressed. Like. Truly. The bar is THAT low). Gale is arrogant, sure, but is also remarkably modest with his desires and has befuddlingly low self confidence and self worth. He does not try to manipulate Mystra or the player into anything. He's a dying man who honestly just wants to be told he's worthy of everything as just Gale DEKARIOS, not just as Gale of Waterdeep. He's ambitious because he has lived his whole life with the impression he's only worth something if he makes himself out to be something. There is no manipulation here, just a deeply wanting man who looks at 'the world is better FOR you' like it's worth more than all the riches in the world.

Gale may have his hang ups because he is well and truly traumatized, but that's because he's absolutely the victim in his situation. I get it. He's older. He's a grown man and Mystra talked so 'calmly' and didn't physically hurt him (even though she did turn a blind eye when Gale, you know, was afflicted with and living with a bomb in his chest), but that doesn't make Mystra any less the perpetrator of his traumas.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[fexicoded]

+

[ilostyou]

the great war is such a uniquely vulnerable song

[acourtofquestions]

Kingdom of Ash Chapter 64

Chapter; Highlights

Hours later, Yrene was still shaking.

At the disaster they'd narrowly avoided, at the deaths she'd witnessed before that wave had struck, at the power of the queen on the plain. The power of the prince who had prevented the ensuing steam from boiling alive any caught in its path.

Yrene had thrown herself back into healing during the chaos since. Had left the royals and their commanders to oversee the aftermath, and had returned to the Great Hall. Healers drifted onto the battlefield, searching for those in need of help.

All of them, every single person in the keep or the skies or on the battlefield, kept glancing toward the now-empty gap between two mountain peaks. Toward the flooded, decimated city, and the demarcation line between life and death. Water and debris had destroyed most of Anielle, the former now trickling toward the Silver Lake.

A vision of what would have been left of them, were it not for Aelin Galathynius.

She'd been asked to inspect the queen when she'd been carried in to a private chamber by Prince Rowan, the two of them borne off the plain by Nesryn. Yrene hadn't been able to stop her hands from shaking as she'd hovered them over Aelin's unconscious body.

There had been no sign of harm beyond a few already-healing cuts and slices from the battle itself.

Nothing at all beyond a sleeping, tired woman.

Who held the might of a god within her veins.

Yrene had then inspected Prince Rowan, who looked in far worse shape, a sizable gash snaking down his thigh. But he'd waved her off, claiming he'd come too near a burnout, and just needed to rest as well.

So Yrene had left them, only to tend to another.

—

To Lorcan, whose injuries ... Yrene had needed to summon Hafiza to help her with some of it. To lend her power, since Yrene's had been so depleted.

The unconscious warrior, who had apparently tumbled right off Farasha as he and Elide had passed through the gates, didn't so much as stir while they worked on him.

That had been hours ago. Days ago, it felt.

Yes, she needed to rest.

But a horn, clear and bright, blared from outside.

Everyone halted-then rushed to the windows. Yrene's smile grew as she, too, found a place to peek out over the battlefield.

To where the rest of the khagan's army, Prince Kashin at its front, marched toward them.

Thank the gods. Everyone in the hall muttered similar words.

From the keep, an answering horn sang its welcome.

Not just one army had been spared here today, Yrene realized as she turned back to the water station. If that wave had reached Kashin.

…

Lucky. They had all been so, so very lucky.

Yet Yrene wondered how long that luck would last.

If it would see them through the brutal march northward, and to the walls of Orynth itself.

Lorcan let out a low groan as he surfaced from the warm, heavy embrace of darkness.

"You are one lucky bastard."

Too soon. Too damn soon after hovering near death to hear Fenrys's drawl.

Fenrys's smirk was a slash of white.

"You've been out for a day. I drew the short stick and had to look after you."

A lie. For whatever reason, Fenrys had chosen to be here.

Lorcan thumped his head back on the pillow. "Elide." Her name was a rasp on his tongue.

The last he remembered, they'd ridden through the gates, Aelin Galathynius's unholy power spent. Then oblivion had swept in.

"Helping with the healing in the Great Hall," Fenrys said, stretching out his legs before him.

Lorcan closed his eyes, something tight in his chest easing.

"Well, since you're not dead," Fenrys began, but Lorcan was already asleep.

Lorcan awoke later. Hours, days, he didn't know.

The candle was still burning on the narrow windowsill, down to its base. Hours, then.

He didn't care. Not when the dim light revealed the delicate woman lying facedown on the end of his cot, the lower half of her body still on the wooden chair where Fenrys had been. Her arms cradled her head, one outstretched toward him. Reaching for his hand, mere inches from hers.

Elide.

Her dark hair spilled across the blanket, across his shins, veiling much of her face.

Wincing at the lingering ache in his body, Lorcan stretched his arm just enough to touch her fingers. They were cold, their tips so much smaller than his. They contracted, pulling away as she sucked in a sharp, awakening breath.

Lorcan savored every feature as she grimaced at a crick in her neck. But her eyes settled on him. She went still as she found him staring at her, awake and utterly in awe of the woman who had ridden through hell to find him ...

Tired. She looked spent, yet her chin remained unbowed.

Lorcan had no words. He'd given her everything on the back of that horse anyway.

But Elide asked, "How do you feel?" Aching. Exhausted. Yet finding her sitting at his bedside... "Alive," he said, and meant it.

Her face remained unreadable, even as her eyes dipped to his body. The blanket had slid down enough to reveal most of his torso, though it still hid the scarred-over wound in his abdomen. Yet he'd never felt so keenly naked.

It was an effort to keep his breathing steady beneath her sharp-eyed gaze. "Yrene said you would have died, if they hadn't gotten to you when they did."

"I would have died," he said, voice like gravel, "if you hadn't braved hell to find me." Her gaze lifted to his. "I made you a promise."

"So you said."

Was that a hint of color stealing across her pale cheeks? But she didn't balk. "You said some interesting things, too."

Lorcan tried to sit up, but his body gave a burst of pain in protest.

Elide explained, "Yrene warned that though the wounds are healed, some soreness will linger."

Lorcan gritted his teeth around the sharp stab in his back, his stomach. He managed to get onto his elbows, and deemed that progress enough. "It's been a while since I was so gravely injured. I'd forgotten what an inconvenience it is."

A faint smile tugged on her mouth.

His heart halted. The first smile she had given him in months and months. Since that day on the ship, when he'd touched her hand as they'd swayed in their hammocks.

Her smile faded, but the color on her cheeks lingered. "Did you mean it? What you said." He held her stare. Let some inner wall within him come crumbling down. Only for her. For this sharp-eyed, cunning little liar who had slipped through every defense and ironclad rule he'd ever made for himself. He let her see that in his face. Let her see all of it, as no one had ever done before. "Yes."

Her mouth tightened, but not in displeasure.

So Lorcan said softly, "I meant every word." His heart thundered, so wildly it was a wonder she couldn't hear it. "And I will until the day I fade into the Afterworld."

Lorcan didn't breathe as Elide gently reached out her hand. And interlaced their fingers. "I love you," she whispered.

He was glad he was lying down. The words would have knocked him to his knees. Even now, he was half inclined to bow before her, the true owner of his ancient, wicked heart.

"I have loved you," she went on, "from the moment you came to fight for me against Vernon and the ilken." The light in her eyes stole his breath. "And when I heard you were somewhere on that battlefield, the only thing I wanted was to be able to tell you that. It was the only thing that mattered."

Once, he might have scoffed. Declared that far bigger things mattered, in this war especially. And yet the hand grasping his ... He'd never known anything more precious.

Lorcan ran his thumb over the back of her hand. "I am sorry, Elide. For all of it."

"I know," she said softly, and no regret or hurt dimmed her face. Only clear, unwavering calm shone there. The face of the mighty lady she was growing into, and had already become, and who would rule Perranth with wisdom in one hand and compassion in the other.

They stared at each other for minutes. For a blessed eternity.

Then Elide untangled their hands and rose. "I should return to help Yrene."

Lorcan caught her hand again. "Stay."

She arched a dark brow. "I'm only going to the Great Hall."

Lorcan caressed his thumb over the back of her hand once more. "Stay," he breathed.

For a heartbeat, he thought she'd say no, and was prepared to be fine with it, to accept these last few minutes as more of a gift than he'd deserved.

"Say it," she whispered, fingers stilling in his hair. Lorcan opened his eyes, finding her gaze. "I love you."

"Yrene said you might always have this," she said, her hand mercifully falling away.

"Then it will be the scar I treasure most."

Fenrys would laugh until he cried to hear him speak this way, but Lorcan didn't care. To hell with the rest of them.

Another one of those small smiles curved her lips, and Lorcan's hands tightened in the sheets with the effort it took not to taste that smile, to worship it with his own mouth.

But this new, fragile thing humming between them ... He would not risk it for all the world.

Elide, thank the gods, had no such worries.

None at all, it seemed, as she lifted a hand to his cheek and ran her thumb along it. Every breath was an effort of control.

Lorcan held absolutely still as she brought her mouth to his. Brushed her lips across his own.

She pulled back. "Rest, Lorcan. I'll be here again when you wake."

Anything she asked, he'd give her.

Anything at all.

Too shaken by that soft, beautiful kiss to bother with words, he lay back down.

But until then, he wanted her here. Sleeping at his side, where he might watch over her. As she had watched over him.

Elide seemed to read that on his face, and her cheeks reddened further. "Later, then," she breathed, limping to the door.

Lorcan sent a flicker of his power to wrap around her ankle. The limp vanished.

A hand on the knob, she gave him a small, grateful nod. "I missed that."

He heard the unspoken words as she disappeared into the busy hall.

I missed you.

Lorcan allowed himself a rare smile.

[waywardsalt]

:3

[inkskinned]

it's because the bear wouldn't kill me just for being a woman. the bear doesn't kill me for fun. the bear can be shouted at, and will leave me alone. the bear won't make a tiktok complaining about how i crossed to the other side of the path when i saw him coming. if a bear kills me, it's just being a bear: it cannot understand logic. it is not acting out of malice - just fear or hunger.

bell hooks once wrote about how porches might be the only outside space left for women - it is still the domain of the house while it is also outside-but-safe. when i am in the woods, i am in the bear's home, and he has a right to defend his property. outside spaces - anywhere at night, certain parks in the day - those are often implicitly "owned" by men. i cannot explain the feeling of knowing when you have entered a man's "territory." you walk into a place and just know you are in their space. you get a sick sense - you're in danger.

the other day a group of about 8 men were fooling around in the woods while i walked my dog. i had to go around, take the extra 3 miles just to avoid them. it's okay, i like walking. this wasn't even a #feminism moment. it was just a tuesday.

what a plain and easy question. only one of the situations is seen as a tragic accident. i would rather die and have a park bench erected in my honor rather than have my family questioned about why they let me, an adult, walk in the woods in the first place when i should really be at home in the kitchen.

i worked in retail and food service. i have had women say and do absolutely heinous and abusive things to me - not because i was a woman, but because i was there, and they were angry. the way men treated me when angry was different - it was because i was a woman. you can always feel the difference, how there's an undertone of i'd hurt you worse if i could get away with it. i keep seeing people try to cite stupid statistics. why is there always a strange rage whenever women agree on things? like men can argue their way out of our lived experiences? it isn't a buzzfeed quiz - which of these traumas are you? 10 super cute ways not to fear strange men.

i have actually (thrice!) seen a bear in the wild, by the way. i died each time, obviously, and am a ghost writing to you. (it was scary but completely and utterly fine). the second encounter was a black bear with her cub. she looked at me like - do we have to do this or are we good? my dog was busy sniffing a bush, completely nonreactive. i felt like i was in a sitcom: feminist poet reacts - does she actually mean she'd choose the bear? my only thought was - she's so beautiful. her paws are massive.

and there's a part of me that feels the rage spinning out in a corner. why do we have to come up with quippy little comments in order to teach men empathy. would you rather die in a car accident or due to a mugging? and would you rather your house burn down due to an electrical fire or due to arson? gee willikers - it's almost like we're human people, and want to risk the accident versus the intention.

i would rather my last thought be oh shit, a bear rather than i'm a person too. why doesn't that matter? why don't you care?