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#but it's so fucking exhausting to ignore your feelings the whole day and stay calm and be insulted
avocado-writing · 24 days
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being the worst wolverine’s wife and one day you get zapped by the TVA for whatever reason, and it looks like you completely disappeared, this is what leads logan to become depressed, start drinking and ultimately ignore the x men when they die etc etc
he goes with wade purely bc he would if you were alive- he couldn’t give less of a shit about wade’s universe but he can feel you over his shoulder like an angel telling him he needs to do this (i imagine it’s like the jean hallucinations he had in the wolverine movie)
what if you’re in the void and he finds you with the rest of the group, like being unable to believe you’re really here?
hehe i love angst and ily avo <3
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I already did a “Logan meets you in the void” fic here so I didn’t wanna make this too long or I’d just end up hitting the same beats!
1.4k. rated m for excessive use of the word “fuck”
The day you disappeared you took his fucking soul with him. 
You had been out shopping. Nothing weird about that, he wasn’t some overbearing husband who demanded to know your location every single hour. But then afternoon had turned into evening had turned into night and nobody had heard from you. The unfamiliar sensation of panic had risen, queasy, from his stomach into his chest. They sent out a search party and looked for days. Not a trace of you to be found. Logan couldn’t smell you. Fuck, he’d never not been able to smell you before.
He would hunt for you every day, hoping to find you alive but trying to level with the idea of you being cold and dead because at least then he’d have closure; he’d stay awake for hours on end until he collapsed from exhaustion… then he’d wake up and repeat the whole horrible affair. Nothing. After weeks of searching, Charles had laid a hand on his arm. Logan can still remember the look of pity on his face, like a bomb to the gut. 
“I’m so sorry, Logan.”
They had to assume you were abducted and killed. Your body never turned up. And Logan just had to… keep going. How was he meant to keep going? You were his entire fucking life and then you were just…
Gone. 
To say he was left empty was the biggest understatement of his fucking life. He was a shell of the man he once was. He never laughed any more, never smiled, always trying to plug the hole your absence left in him with whatever alcohol he could get his hands on. Drink himself to a place where he could forget you.
It never really worked. At least it made him numb to the pain though. 
When he staggers home one evening, eyes bleary and head spinning, and finds the whole mansion torched? Everyone left that he loved fucking dead? Well, it takes the last vestiges of his existence and crushes them into dust. 
Oh, Logan, he hears in the back of his mind. Your voice. It breaks him. He falls to his knees, hands buried in the burning timbers, and wails. 
He survives. He does not live. Thinking about everyone he’s lost, with you haunting the corners of his consciousness, always reaching out to comfort him - but when he goes to nuzzle into the warmth of your palm he is overcome with rage and bitterness to find it’s just his own imagination playing tricks on him. 
Then a fucking idiot in red dragged him away from the shambles which was his life and forced him to be functional again, if only barely. He’s angry, so angry all of the goddamn time, even when in the back of his mind he can hear you speaking sweet, calming words to him. 
And then he hears your voice for real. 
Sees you standing across the base this pathetic resistance has made. You look older, sure, he does too - but there’s no mistaking the fire in those eyes. You’re even wearing the same fucking shirt you went missing in, he remembers it, it has a picture of your favourite band. 
His heart stops dead in his chest as you whisper his name. 
“Logan?”
“Oh shit!” says Wade, and Logan has never wanted to kill him more, “Oh shit! Is this your refrigeratored wife, coming back to throw in a third act character arc?”
Logan finishes the bourbon bottle and throws the empty at Wade’s head, where it shatters and knocks him flat. You wince at the violence and he feels like pure shit. 
“I’m fine,” Wade calls from the ground, sticking a thumbs-up into the air. 
“Logan, I…” you clearly want to say something, but you have not been met with the Logan you knew. That Logan would have spent no time running to pick you up and hold you in his arms. This one half-snarls at the man he bloodied on the floor. 
There is an agonising silence, both of you wanting to speak but not being sure how. You take a hesitant step forward. 
“I never thought I’d…”
“How do I know it’s you?”
You recoil like he’s stabbed you with his claws, confusion and hurt flooding your face. Goddamn. He is the worst man alive. He’s not sure if he’s saying it because he just wants to lash out at the nearest person, or…
… or if, because he gets his hopes up, it might just kill him to have them crash down again. 
“What?”
“All these fuckin’ timelines. How do I know? How can I be sure that you’re you?”
The sadness in your face melts away into anger. When you step forward this time, you’re on the warpath. He sees the others in the room cringe, trapped now in this caustic reunion. 
“How can you be sure it’s me? Fuck, Logan, I knew it was you, didn’t I? What do you want? You want me to show you the shitty tattoo I got after we first started dating and we were both drunk?” You lift your sleeve to reveal a little design on your shoulder. “Want me to tell you how an eighteen-year-old Marie was my bridesmaid and she cried because she didn’t think anyone would ever be that kind to her after living as a mutant again? Want me to fucking remind you that in my vows I said I would be by your side, for fucking ever, no matter what - and how when that TVA agent zapped me when I was out for the day and I ended up here, it was only the thought of fulfilling those vows which kept me going? How about all that, or do I fucking need to humiliate myself more?” At this, you gesture to the others who have lined up at the side of the room, trying to look scarce but utterly failing. 
Your shoulders are heaving with emotions, tears hot and heavy in your eyes but not yet spilling over. Logan grits his jaw. Yeah. It’s you. 
“I…” he starts, but trails off when he realises there’s nothing he can say. You shake your head, numb. 
“Fuck you, Logan Howlett,” you spit, words you’ve never ever thrown his way before, and run out of the room. 
“Wow. Aced that one, peanut,” says Wade, and Logan rips off one of his legs. 
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He finds you several hours later at a campfire outside the rundown building which makes up headquarters. LeBeau has clearly been kind enough to part with some of his liquor, because you’re gulping down whiskey like it’s air. You stare at him, embers dancing in bitter eyes. 
“What do you want?” you snap. He grunts as he sits down opposite you, either from age or exertion. Stares into the flames. 
“I never stopped looking,” he manages. 
You blink. 
“What?”
“I never…” he shifts uncomfortably. It’s been a long time since he bared this much of his soul. “I never stopped. Even when the others told me to give up, that I would only make it worse for myself, I’d still search. Couldn’t face the idea you weren’t there any more.”
It’s true. If he was twelve bottles deep he’d be looking, if he was hungover as a dog he’d be looking. When the rest of the X-Men were still there and even after they weren’t. If he wasn’t sitting at a bar he was on the streets, ever a bloodhound trying to catch your scent again. 
For the first time you soften. 
“Oh.”
“So… when I asked if it was you… ah, fuck. I didn’t mean to come off as an asshole. Just couldn’t live with it if it wasn't true. Wasn’t real.”
When you stand he expects a slap. He deserves it. What he doesn’t count on is you sitting down - not on the log next to him, but in his lap. He hasn’t felt you do that for so long, and it’s so good. Your warmth on his thigh. You grab one of his hands, still larger than yours, and press it to your chest so he can feel your beating heart. 
“I’m real, Logan. I’m right here, baby,” you whisper, eyes dewy. Fuck. His are as well; he can’t help it. He’s overwhelmed by you, your feel, your gaze, your smell. He’d forgotten how much he loved it. 
Logan noses upwards against you, searching for your lips, and you let him find them. When you stroke his hair he can feel the wedding ring on your left hand. The kiss is desperate, longing, and the best one he’s ever had. 
“Right here,” you repeat, forehead against his. He grips you so tightly that it’s possible he’ll never let go again. 
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xxlelaxx · 2 years
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To continue the amazing trend of 2023 work was shit and I almost cried
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cherienymphe · 8 months
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Escapism
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Topper Thornton x Reader
Summary: Your brother always stayed up with you whenever you couldn’t sleep and nothing has changed now that his best friend is the reason for your late nights.
warnings: Dub-Con, stepcest, cheating, toxic relationship, semi-public sex, jealousy, secret relationship, side of Rafe x reader, lots of playing in Rafe's face, kook!reader, non canon ages
➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics
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You were a shitty girlfriend.
Perhaps, in some ways, you were being too harsh on yourself because it wasn’t like Rafe would ever win boyfriend of the year. The blond came with a plethora of issues that could only be fixed with therapy—something you probably wouldn’t even be able to pay him to do—and he chose to handle every single one with one horrible coping mechanism after the next. When it was all said and done though, you really only had yourself to blame.
It wasn’t like you were a stranger to the man before you started dating him.
You knew Rafe well—you’d grown up with him—so was it really his fault that you chose to ignore every single thing you knew about him in the hopes that he would mature and change? Was it his fault that you forgave him time and time again with the hopes that he could still change? Was he the asshole for being him or were you the asshole for going into this with the expectation he’d be something he wasn’t?
“Come on,” Topper would say to you in the dead of night. “You and I both know what he’s like—what he’s always been like.”
It was usually after he’d listen to you cry over Rafe and whatever girl he’d kissed or whatever awful thing he’d said to you, pupils blown and alcohol on his breath. He’d pull you to sit back, hands rubbing over your arms in an attempt to calm you down. It was always well into the night when you both should’ve been asleep, but per your routine as of late, you’d be waiting up for Rafe to call or text or walk through the door.
Anything to let you know he wasn’t passed out drunk in a ditch somewhere.
“Rafe can take care of himself just fine.”
Or some variation of that would reach your ears, and you’d press your hands to your face in exhaustion. You’d never miss the bitterness—borderline malice—in Topper’s voice as he said something like that. You knew it wasn’t directed at you, but more so your relationship with the other blond as a whole and his frustration with it. Topper never wanted you to date Rafe, and you knew he took no pleasure in watching Rafe prove him right.
Rafe may have been his best friend…
…but you were ten and Topper was twelve when his mother married your father. He’d been protective of you since day one, having been an only child before that, and you knew that he hated having to let you make your own choices and mistakes with the guy you’d both once called a friend. If you and Rafe came out of this relationship intact, you doubted you’d ever call him ‘friend’ again.
He’d hurt you too much for that.
You weren’t a bad girlfriend for thinking such thoughts. Nor were you a bad girlfriend for trying to break up with him on several occasions, something Rafe would always talk you out of with promises of remorse and change. You didn’t even think you were a bad girlfriend for venting about your frustration and hurt to his best friend—your stepbrother.
You were a shitty girlfriend for allowing something to continue that should’ve ended years ago.
Fed up with talking about Rafe and how badly he’d hurt your feelings earlier in the day, Topper had pressed his lips to yours, effectively shutting you up with a kiss. A kiss that you returned, shoulders sagging and a weight lifting off of your chest as his arms circled around your waist. Rafe had called you a nag hours before, subsequently telling you he wouldn’t be staying over before hanging up without another word.
It had hurt you, but you were sure Topper was just relieved to have you all to himself.
Or at the very least, wouldn’t be tempted to fuck you anyway—Rafe under the same roof be damned.
You both were quiet in the dark living room—your parents asleep upstairs—and the longer you kissed him, the more you just wanted to forget about Rafe. The t-shirt you wore was bunching up under the blonde’s hands, and you gasped when his mouth trailed down to your neck. You could feel how much he wanted you, and any other night you would’ve loved to drag this out, but much like Topper…
You just wanted to feel him inside of you.
You never wore any underwear to bed, both for convenience and just because. It was something Topper had come to appreciate, and when you helped him pull his shorts down, cock springing free, you couldn’t slide down the couch fast enough. He hooked one hand under your thigh, helping you and dragging you closer, the other squeezing his cock with long strokes.
He rubbed the tip of himself against you a few times, coating the head in your essence, unsurprised at how wet and ready for him you already were. The feel made you bite the inside of your cheek, lifting your hips in an attempt to get him to sink into you even if just a little. You didn’t miss the soft chuckle that rang through the air.
“I’m sorry,” he huskily told you, pushing into you with one slow thrust. “Is that better?”
You hated his mocking tone, but not as much as you loved the feel of him stretching you out. You clawed at him, pulling him closer, sighing into his mouth when he finally kissed you again. The movements of his hips were slow, too afraid to do too much and make too much noise. The pace was enough to make your head spin and was definitely enough to make you squirm beneath him. When you started lifting your hips to meet him halfway, he groaned into the kiss.
Rafe was the furthest thing from your mind.
Sliding your hands up Topper’s frame, you threaded your fingers through his hair, nails lightly dragging along his scalp. By the way he shuddered against you, you knew that he liked that. Every snap of his hips into yours had you swallowing down every noise that threatened to escape. His cock stroked your walls in a way that made you squeeze your eyes shut.
Shifting, you felt his hand slide down to rest on the inside of your thigh, pushing it and spreading it until your leg hung off of the couch. At that, you did gasp, a choaked sound escaping your lips before you snapped them shut. His free hand was beside your head now, forearm resting on the couch cushion. You both were quiet, but your soft labored breathing could still be heard if you listened hard enough.
When you softly moaned his name, he shushed you.
“I want…” you fought to catch your breath enough to speak. “I want you to come inside of me.”
You felt another shiver travel up his spine, head falling into the crook of your neck at that. You knew he wasn’t close, but you felt like making that known. It wasn’t something you both made a habit of, but you loved the feel of Topper spilling into you, cock twitching as he coated your walls in his release. When you pushed against his hand, he got the hint, and you circled his waist with your legs, ankles hooking at the small of his back.
Topper took his time fucking you.
He often did, feeling no need to rush or no fear that you’d get caught. You didn’t know if he was just that confident in how quickly you could pull yourselves together or that it simply wouldn’t happen. Some part of you wondered if maybe he just didn’t care. You knew that couldn’t be true for several reasons, the most pressing being your boyfriend.
It was funny.
Rafe had probably cheated on you more times than you actually knew of, but the minute some other guy looked at you for even just a second too long, he was gearing up for a fight. You didn’t know if he was performative or just that skilled at compartmentalization, but you hated it. What good did it do for him to act so noble and possessive when way too many people knew how much he’d embarrassed you over the past six months?
You didn’t doubt that he’d try to kill Topper in some coked out rage if he ever knew.
Topper’s hand was cupping your breast under your shirt as he pressed kisses to your neck and jaw. He was whispering in your ear, telling you how good you felt and how wet you were, and how much he wanted to feel you coming around him. He knew what to say to send you over the edge, and at the first sound, he covered your mouth in another kiss to swallow your moans.
You squeezed him tight, walls clenching as he fucked you through your climax, cock plunging into your soaking cunt as he chased his own. His thrusts grew sloppy, and they weren’t as languid, and his blond strands kissed your forehead as they grew messy and awkward with sweat. Your legs had long fallen around him, and you pressed your hand against his lower back.
When he came, he buried his face into where your neck and shoulder met, groaning into the skin. You shuddered at the feel of him spilling into you, still clenching around him as remnants of your orgasm finally started to dissipate. His breathing was heavy against your skin before pulling back just enough to touch his forehead to yours.
You could only hear your efforts to catch your breath.
“I love you. You know that, right?”
You nodded, positive he could feel the action against his forehead. You fingered the top of his shorts, and you bit your lip. You didn’t say it back often—something you still had trouble accepting and admitting—but you told him enough so that he’d never doubt it.
“Can I stay in your room tonight?” you quietly asked him. “Rafe probably won’t come over until after noon…if he comes over, at all.”
You tried not to let your voice shrink at the thought, but Topper caught it anyway. Pulling out of you and sitting up, he grabbed your arm and pulled you with him. Righting himself, he pulled you to your feet, his other hand pushing his hair away from his face.
“You know you never have to ask,” he told you.
His hands were comfortably on your waist as he followed behind you, guiding you upstairs.
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“What…? You got a problem or something?”
You knew it was coming when you were the only one who wasn’t laughing, unamused as he recounted his tale of how he’d cornered Pope. You’d never known the other guy to get into any trouble or bother anyone, and while you knew there would never be anything you could do about whatever petty rivalry your brother and your boyfriend and their friends involved themselves in, Pope just seemed like low hanging fruit.
He wasn’t even the type to fight back.
“I just don’t find it funny,” was all you said, squinting under the harsh rays of the sun. “You know Pope’s not even like that. I might’ve laughed if it were JJ or…I don’t know…someone who would actually put up a fight.”
Rafe’s entire demeanor clouded over at that, and you were prepared for whatever was about to come out of his mouth when Topper spoke.
“Rafe,” the other blond warned. “Chill.”
He seemed to anticipate Rafe’s ire just as much as you did, and Rafe paused, glancing at his best friend before huffing. He leaned back in his chair, eyeing you with that cold blue gaze of his. The sun shone off of his dirty blond strands, the tresses curtained along his forehead, and you watched him bring his hand up to rest against his lips before finally settling on a better response than what you both knew you almost got.
“So, what are you trying to say?”
Choosing to end this fight before it even began, you sighed, looking away.
“I’m not saying anything, Rafe. You can do whatever you want,” you murmured. “You always do.”
He heard that loud and clear, and the laugh he let out wasn’t humorous in the slightest. You heard him roughly get up from his seat, chair scraping against the wooden floor. You watched him snatch his glass off the table, mumbling something about needing a refill but not before making a comment to Topper that was solely intended for you.
“Get your sister, Top,” your boyfriend drawled, making you cross your arms over your chest.
You could feel the man in question’s eyes on you, and you avoided his gaze.
“Sometimes I swear you like fighting with him just as much as he does you.”
At that, you scoffed, looking at him in disbelief.
“I didn’t laugh because he beat up Pope Heyward…and that was apparently a problem,” you pointed out to which Topper merely shrugged, unable to disagree. “I apologize for not finding it funny.”
“Babe,” he softly said, reaching out and touching your arm. “He’s a Pogue, and you know how Rafe is.”
His excuse for Rafe’s behavior only made you roll your eyes, and you heard him sigh as you reached for your stuff. He said your name, trying to get you to sit back down, but you were only more determined to leave once you caught sight of Kelce walking up the steps to the restaurant too. Dealing with all three of them at once was enough to give you a coronary.
“Where are you going?”
You didn’t answer Rafe as you passed him on his way back to the table, ignoring Kelce too when he said hey to you. You hated to take it out on him when he didn’t actually do anything this time, but you knew his mindset was just as bad as Rafe’s, and so you figured it was preemptively deserved. You didn’t need to be a genius to know that Rafe was going to talk shit about you the second you were out of sight.
It was one of those days where you really felt emboldened to finally break up with him for good. Rafe hadn’t been good to you nor right for you since the beginning, and you knew that if Topper was a lesser person, he would’ve said ‘I told you so’ a million times by now. You were grateful that he didn’t make you feel worse for being naïve enough to ever believe in Rafe Cameron.
Although, some part of you wondered if having you crawl into his bed night after night was satisfaction enough.
It was hours later when he was softly apologizing for both his and Rafe’s behavior, fingers digging into your waist as you pushed yourself down onto him. Rafe had long fallen asleep, his light snores easing your worry as you’d snuck out of your room. Topper was awake—as you’d hoped—and it was true that you’d only intended to talk. Rafe’s attitude hadn’t been much better when you finally reunited again, something you were sure Topper had overheard.
“You really want to talk about Rafe, right now?” he’d whispered, hand sliding along your thigh.
“Topper,” you’d quietly hissed in warning. “Not…tonight. He’s…”
You didn’t need to finish that sentence, feeling no need to as you gestured towards his door. The blond had fixed you with a look that made your stomach flip, a hint of a smirk dancing along his pink lips as he held your gaze.
“That’s never stopped us before.”
You’d swallowed at that, feeling unsure, but that was a feeling that had never stopped the other man before either. The first time he’d ever kissed you, you’d felt unsure, but Topper hadn’t cared, holding you to him and fingering you on the back deck while his mother threw some grand party downstairs. You still remembered the way you came around his fingers, an admission of insecurities somehow leading to your first ever sexual experience—and with your own stepbrother no less.
“Topper,” you’d quietly warned when he brushed his lips against yours. “Rafe…”
“Do…not…talk about him, right now,” he’d slowly said, fingers grazing along your folds just as slow.
Despite your hand against his shoulder, he’d laid you down, lips finding the skin just under your jaw.
“He’s the last thing I want to talk about, right now.”
…and he’d meant it, curving his fingers into you while pressing open mouthed kisses to your jaw and throat and collarbone. Any protest you had was swallowed down and quickly forgotten at the slick feeling between your legs, Topper’s fingers sinking into your cunt with ease. Your own twisted into the fabric of his shirt, hips lifted towards his hand, fighting to swallow down a whimper each time his thumb circled your clit.
“Fuck,” he’d cursed into your skin. “I love how wet you get for me.”
It wasn’t long after that that he was hurrying to get inside of you, shirts and shorts discarded as he pulled you on top of him. When you sank down onto him, he’d sighed, throwing his head back and lifting his hips. With your hands on his stomach, you’d lifted yourself until the tip of his cock just barely remained inside of you before sliding back down.
You gently bounced on top of him, hyper aware of who was just in the other room. You could tell that Topper wasn’t a huge fan, feeling that you had to pick one between being on top and being gentle, but it couldn’t be both. When his hands slid up your frame, they rested on the sides of your neck before pulling you down. Your eyes fell closed when you kissed him, and you gasped into his mouth when he lifted his hips, driving himself up into you.
You mentally cursed, realizing you’d been tricked.
With his hands quickly sliding down to snake around your waist, Topper wasted no time in lifting his hips to push his cock up into you. The force of his thrusts had you squeezing him in more ways than one, lips parted and eyes tight as he roughly fucked himself up into you. His bed shook under his movements, and you couldn’t stop yourself from whining into his mouth, the sound of him sinking into you reaching your ears.
“Fuck, you’re dripping,” he hummed, one hand coming up to rest on your cheek.
When his bed knocked into the wall, he halted his movements, using the moment to both catch his breath and listen. Your own heart stuttered, digging your nails into his chest because you’d literally told Topper so. Once Rafe was knocked out, it was usually pretty hard to wake him up, but it would be just your luck that this night of all nights he’d be a light sleeper.
You really didn’t want to imagine the chaos if he left your room in search of you only to find his best friend balls deep inside of you.
When no worrying sounds reached your ears, Topper took that as a sign to continue, knees bent as he thrust up into you again. You could tell he was close by the way his cock twitched inside of you, and something nagged in the back of your mind about that. When you attempted to pull yourself off of him, he held you tighter.
“Topper,” you gasped, a warning in your tone. “Don’t-.”
Your words were abruptly swallowed when he rolled you both, pinning you beneath him and jerking his hips into yours. The rough and fast pace had you momentarily forgetting your train of thought, weakly pushing against his stomach. You both knew why you didn’t want him to finish inside of you, but he didn’t seem to care about Rafe possibly sinking into you in the early hours of the morning with his best friend’s cum dried along your folds.
You yelped when you came, a roaring sound in your ears as you felt him do the same, filling you up with a grunt. His hips didn’t stop snapping against yours the entire time, fucking you through it and fucking his cum into you. He had you completely caged beneath him, and all you could do was quietly milk his cock, toes curling as you scratched at his back.
When clarity finally hit, the fog lifting, you roughly pushed him away. You didn’t miss his quiet chuckle, and you didn’t spare him a glance as you reached for your oversized t-shirt—his t-shirt.
“You’re such an asshole,” you mumbled, pulling it over your head and slapping his hand away when he reached down to slide his fingers between your sticky folds.
You didn’t spare Topper another glance before hurrying out of his room.
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You kept your eyes on Rafe as he flew down the road, the loud music making his truck almost vibrate. He was ignoring you, preoccupied with his conversation with Kelce who was in the passenger seat. It was funny because the only one with a right to be mad was you, recalling the fight you’d had on the beach not even an hour ago.
“She was all over you, and you just stood there and let it happen,” you’d yelled at him, feeling humiliated for the umpteenth time.
“I barely remember what that girl even looks like,” was his reply, pupils blown. “It was nothing, baby.”
You had slapped his hand away when he reached for you, unmoved by the way his countenance darkened. The sounds of the party just down the beach only served to remind you how you felt when you walked up on him with his hand on some girl’s waist, her lips trailing kisses along his neck. You could tell she was drunk, and instead of pushing her away, Rafe just entertained it.
Your eyes had only met for half a second before you were turning away.
You didn’t even know why he chased you down the beach, and that was what you’d told him.
“You’re not sorry…you don’t feel bad, and you know what? You’ll probably do worse two weeks from now, so why are you even here?”
You’d shrugged at him, certain your confusion was evident on your face.
“Look, it was nothing,” he’d spat at you. “Once again, you’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
That had actually made you laugh, tears kissing your eyes.
“If you caught me cozying up to any guy with half the effort that she was with you…you would lose your shit, and you know it,” you’d sneered, watching his jaw tick. “I would love to see the look on your face if I fucked someone else.”
He’d gotten in your face, his finger almost touching your eye.
“I was barely touching her-.”
“That wasn’t the case three months ago,” you threw in his face. “…and I can only imagine what I don’t know about.”
Rafe’s nostrils had flared, and for a split second, you swore you saw some shame pass through his blue gaze. It was gone just as quickly as it came though, anger replacing it instead.
“You wouldn’t dare, you wouldn’t fucking dare,” he bit out, invading your personal space. “I said I was sorry, and you said you forgave me, so don’t think you can use that as an excuse to go fuck some asshole who clearly doesn’t value his life.”
His words had only made you angrier, and you had to bite your tongue to keep your face even, recalling the feel of Topper’s cock inside of you just thirty minutes before Rafe came to pick you both up. You and your boyfriend had stared each other down for a few moments more before he spoke again.
“I’d love to see you do that,” he finally said, shrugging. “I would love to see you try when you can’t even stick to staying broken up with me.”
His words had the desired effect, and you’d felt your face fall.
“Now, you’re trying to convince me you’d ever have the nerve to cheat on me?” he’d wondered, fingers grazing his own chest. “Don’t make me laugh.”
He’d left you with a scoff, and you hadn’t been able to stop your tears from spilling over. All you’d ever tried to do was routinely look for and believe in the best in Rafe, and you couldn’t believe that he threw that in your face like some insult. Maybe it was an insult though…because how many times were you going to let him show you exactly who he was? How many times were you going to let him play in your face?
The day after you’d confronted him about sleeping with some girl—only privy to the information because of none other than Topper—you’d cried yourself to sleep. It was always little things before that, but that incident was what broke you, allowing Topper to slip into your room and wrap his arms around you. It was reminiscent of a time where he used to sneak into your room almost every night, your parents none the wiser to what went on underneath their roof. You’d been eighteen then, Topper twenty, and you both mutually agreed to putting a stop to it.
However, that night, his mind had clearly gone to the same place yours had.
When he kissed you, you’d pulled him closer, and two years after you ended your forbidden dalliance, you resumed it again. For a few hours, you’d forgotten all about Rafe and what he did and just basked in the feel of Topper pushing his cock into you, embarrassingly turned on because of how much you’d missed him. You hadn’t paid any mind to the countless phone calls and texts that were blowing up your phone, no one else but Rafe and his vain attempts to fix what he did.
The day you forgave him, you knew you were making a huge mistake.
Rafe throwing the grace you’d shown him in your face had you stomping to his truck. You’d ignored the feel of eyes on you, knowing it wasn’t Rafe, opting to slide in the backseat without acknowledging him. Kelce—ever the standup guy—just pretended not to notice the tension between you and his friend as he slid into the passenger seat. The moment Rafe’s truck was on the road—music blaring through the vehicle—you’d grabbed Topper’s hand.
He didn’t protest at all when you dragged it across your thigh, pushing his fingers between your legs.
…and that was how you found yourself watching Rafe, keeping your eyes on him not because you actually wanted to, but because you didn’t need him looking over his shoulder. Even if he did, it was dark, but still, you weren’t exactly emotionless as Topper slid his fingers in and out of you. Your lips were parted, and your chest was heaving, and even though all that could really be heard was whatever rap song Rafe put on, you were still pulling your lip between your teeth.
You reached out to grip the door handle when Topper added another finger, his hand soaked in you, and you reached down to place your own hand on top of his. You spread your legs a little more, and you couldn’t stop yourself from lifting your hips a bit. You were thankful for the music, certain that if the truck were quieter, they’d be able to hear the wet sounds of his fingers pushing between your folds.
He pulled them in and out of you for the duration of the ride, just slowly stroking you and teasing you. Every time you started to tighten around his fingers, he’d stop, just letting them sit there long enough for you to come down from a high that quite never happened. Like clockwork, he’d start moving his fingers again, and he only fully pulled them out of you—underwear snapping back into place—when Rafe pulled into his driveway.
He'd sucked them clean by the time Rafe and Kelce opened their doors, and when your boyfriend saw that neither of you were moving, he paused. You crossed your arms over your chest when he glanced at you, throwing him a frown.
“I need to talk to Y/N for a minute,” Topper told him, and Rafe only scoffed.
“Please do,” he mockingly said, tone full of arrogance as he wrongly assumed what the conversation would be about. “…because I didn’t do shit, and I’m tired of your sister blowing things out of proportion.”
That last part was aimed at you, and you only coolly met your boyfriend’s gaze before he slammed the door shut.
“He’s such an asshole,” you mumbled, staring at his back as he walked away. “I’m breaking up with him. For good this time.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
Topper’s tone was dripping with sarcasm, and you rolled your eyes at him.
“Yeah, we both know how much you’ll hate having me all to yourself again.”
The words were barely out of your mouth before you turned towards him, reaching to slip your hand down his pants the moment Rafe was inside of his house. Wrapping your fingers around Topper’s cock, you slowly stroked him, uncaring as to how risky that was. You were just angrier than you ever were at the realization that Rafe didn’t appreciate how gracious you’d been, and how many other girls would’ve dumped him months ago for everything he’d pulled. In fact, you wouldn’t be surprised if Rafe respected you less for it.
That realization didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would…because you’d long stopped respecting him in return.
You moved to settle in Topper’s lap, facing away from him as he lifted his hips enough to only just pull his pants down. One hand was pulling at your panties, yanking them aside just in time for you to sink down onto his cock. You couldn’t stop yourself from moaning as he filled you up, throbbing inside of your heat. It was almost too easy, courtesy of his fingers and how wet he’d made you.
You lifted yourself slightly, moving over him and hanging onto the headrest of the driver’s seat while Topper lifted his hips too. His grunts and labored pants were a little loud, but that was only because you were alone. Rafe nor Kelce was going to hear anything from all the way out here in a closed vehicle. You clung to the seat harder as you thought about Rafe’s haughty tone and that challenging look in his blue eyes, so certain that you’d never do to him what he did to you.
So certain that you’d never have the guts.
Speaking of, it felt like you could feel Topper deep in your stomach as you rode him. His hands were tight on your waist as he bounced you on top of him, cheeks grazing his thighs with every movement. One of those hands slid around you, reaching under your dress and resting on you, fingers rubbing over your cunt.
“You’re doing so good, babe,” he whispered in the otherwise quiet truck. “Just like that.”
You knew that this couldn’t take long—and Topper knew it too—and feeling you come around him always sent him over the edge, so your eyes rolled when he started circling and dragging his fingers across your clit. He lightly pinched it, making you jerk, and the fact that you were fucking him in Rafe’s own backseat had you coming hard.
The broken moans that tumbled out of your mouth should have embarrassed you, but you were too concerned with sliding yourself up and down his cock, squeezing him tight and making him come too. Topper wrapped an arm around your neck, pulling you back against him as you came together. Knowing that you’d stayed out here long enough, he was gently pushing you off of him the second he started to soften.
You could feel him dripping out of you, and you hurried to put your underwear back in place.
“Did you talk some sense into her?” was the first thing Rafe greeted you with the moment you both made it back inside.
You ignored him, hearing the tone of Topper’s voice as he said Rafe’s name. You knew that it would just be another useless talk of him almost begging Rafe to do better. The older blond never listened to his friend though, and you knew it didn’t twist Topper up too much, always happy to make you feel better when your boyfriend fucked up.
He took advantage of it every time.
Like now, for example.
Your hands clung to the railing of the back porch, head bowed as Topper drove into you from behind. Rafe was asleep in his own room—Kelce asleep in a guest room—and you couldn’t help yourself. You needed him again, sneaking into his designated guest room and begging him to fuck you. He was never one to protest, pressing his lips to yours and pulling you against him while murmuring something along the lines of ‘not in here’.
There were too many people in the Cameron household for him to touch you on the same floor as everyone else.
You kept pushing yourself to your tippy toes, thighs squeezing together with every slow stroke of his cock. Rafe’s t-shirt was pushed up your back, and the light slap of skin against skin reached your ears as well as the wet sound every time he slid between your folds. When he leaned over you, chest pressed to your back, one arm curled around your waist.
“You love this,” he murmured, nipping at your ear. “You love fucking me right under his nose…especially when he really pisses you off.”
If you’d tried to deny it, the way you tightened around him would’ve exposed the truth anyway. You did. Rafe underestimated you, and you loved proving him wrong, especially with his best friend of all people. You moaned, pushing back against him at that. Topper only chuckled, twisting a hand at your roots and pushing you back down over the railing again.
After coming around him twice, the insides of your thighs were embarrassingly sticky, and when Topper eventually stilled against you, pumping you full of his cum, that only made your predicament worse. When he pulled out of you, you reached down to wipe away some of the mess, fighting to catch your breath and reminding yourself that you’d have to make a stop to the bathroom before rejoining Rafe.
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Topper was silent the entire ride home, and unlike with Rafe, you had no one but yourself to blame in this situation. Whenever you happened to glance over, you’d catch sight of his clenched jaw, cold blue eyes—so much like Rafe’s—focused on the road. His knuckles were white from the strain of his skin pulled taut over them, a death grip on the wheel of his jeep.
You didn’t speak because there wasn’t much you could say.
So fed up with Rafe’s blatant disrespect—and the pitying looks the odd girl threw you at the party as he danced with some stranger—you hadn’t thought of who else you’d be hurting when you grabbed the nearest guy and pressed your lips to his. You were so far gone with the alcohol, and the satisfaction you’d felt only drove you to close your eyes at the feel of his lips moving against yours.
It had also caused you to momentarily forget about your boyfriend, a misstep that was quickly remedied when you found yourself covered in alcohol.
Several of his friends—Kelce included—had been struggling to hold Rafe back as he tried to make his way to you. His angry shouts could be heard over the music, and you suspected that the bloodthirsty glint in his blue eyes was what drove your poor unsuspecting victim to slip away. Watching him get further out of reach only drove Rafe crazy…until his angry gaze landed on you, as if just remembering your presence.
He was screaming at you, calling you every name in the book, and you’d taken a step back as his friends struggled to keep him from getting to you. Only one stood off to the side, and when you remembered Topper’s presence, you hadn’t been able to keep the sheepish look off of your face. Adopting the older brother role, he’d quickly stomped towards you, yanking your arm as he pulled you along and away from your enraged boyfriend.
“I think its time you call it a night,” he’d evenly said.
That was the last thing he’d said to you, holding you as you stumbled to his car.
When his phone rang again, cutting through the silence in the vehicle, he finally answered it.
“Rafe, she’s drunk,” Topper told him the minute he picked it up. “…and you can’t act like you didn’t have this coming a little.”
You shifted in your seat, thinking to yourself that you’d gotten back at Rafe many times over. You didn’t hear what your boyfriend—possibly ex-boyfriend—said on the other line, but it was loud, and you could pick up on his tone. Topper chuckled to himself, and if you hadn’t been looking at his face, you might’ve thought it was genuine. His frustration with both Rafe and you—mostly you at the moment—was all over his face.
“There’s a whole list of shit you’ve done while drunk or high. You can talk to her tomorrow,” he told his best friend, meeting your gaze. “I’m handling it, so if you come over, I’m telling you now I’m not answering the door.”
You looked out the window at that, swallowing at the venom in both his voice and his gaze.
Your parents weren’t home, out of town for the weekend, and you were never more grateful, certain you’d never been this drunk in your life. Topper was still ignoring you as he helped you inside, and when you stumbled away from him, leaning against the table by the entrance, you gave him an apologetic look.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled.
Before you could do it, he was dropping to his knees, angrily taking off your shoes. You flinched at the way he threw them across the room, slowly rising and staring you down. The house was quiet—too quiet for comfort—and you licked your lips.
“Topper-.”
“It’s already bad enough seeing you kiss him and be with him and fuck him,” he spat at you, pointing outside. “Even worse when he treats you like shit, and you just won’t leave.”
You frowned at him, tears kissing your eyes.
“I’m…sorry for just hoping he’ll do better…”
“He won’t!”
Topper’s voice bounced off of the walls, and you shrunk away from him as he got in your face.
“How many times does he have to show you that? Why do you still expect better from him, so much so to the point where you’re kissing random guys, now?” he wondered, rearing back away from you with a frown. “Yeah, you wanted to make Rafe angry, but we both know the truth.”
You looked away, pressing your lips together when Topper stepped closer. You could feel his breath on your cheek as he exhaled through his nose, the atmosphere tense.
“Rafe’s mad because you dared to play his own game,” he slowly whispered. “I love you, and we both know it’s me you’re really with, not him, and I’m fucking pissed.”
You swallowed with one look into his eyes, finally finding the strength to face him, and your heart skipped a beat at what you saw there.
Before you could say another word, his lips were on yours, fingers digging into your arms. The sequence of events happened too fast for your drunk brain to catch up with, only gasping when he reached down to press his hand into the small of your back, yanking you closer. If it wasn’t for him holding you, you would’ve tripped over your own feet as he forced you into the living room.
Topper’s teeth nipped at your throat while he pulled at your dress, something Rafe had bought.
“I fucking hate this dress,” he quietly confessed as if reading your mind.
The sound of tearing fabric reached your ears as he forced you to bend back, his arm around you keeping you from collapsing. He kept you against him as he laid you down on the floor, in a hurry to get you at least half naked. His other hand reached behind his head to yank off his shirt, and you only had the sense to hold onto his arms while he kissed along your chest. When his pants were pushed down just enough, he pushed into you with a grunt.
You scratched at his skin at the rough entry, but it took no time for each thrust to become as smooth as they always were whenever he got his hands on you. One of your hands clawed at the rug, and you moaned—loud—when he gripped the hair at the nape of your neck. You suspected that Top had done a line or two tonight, gasping at his uncharacteristically tight grip.
He was fucking you so good that you almost missed the sound of a vehicle in the yard. When you did, your eyes flew open, and you attempted to look around towards the window. You guys were too close to the couch to see over it, and when you whined, pushing against him, Topper only grabbed your hands and pinned them down beside your head.
“Topper, I think…”
You couldn’t get it out, groaning as he curved his hips against yours.
“Fuck him,” he breathed, pounding into you.
The harsh knocks on the door didn’t faze him, and Topper only let one of your hands go to reach down and reach under your thigh. He rested that leg over his shoulder, pushing it towards you as his nose brushed yours, lips parted as he thrust into you. You were dripping around him, teeth sinking into your lip as Rafe knocked on the door again, trying the locked handle. Somewhere, you could hear your phone vibrating…and then Topper’s after a while.
The man on top of you didn’t care, stretching you out, pushing his cock into your tight hole.
“Break up with him, or don’t,” he whispered to you, pressing a kiss to your lips and then your nose. “…but what you pulled tonight is not happening again.”
You drunkenly nodded at him, mewling as he slowed down his thrusts, the sucking sound of his cock plunging into you reaching your ears. You heard your phone vibrate again.
“You know where to find me when he pisses you off.”
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dragon-creates · 8 months
Text
Safe and Sound
Funnybunny Week Day Six: Escape . “Jax?” “Hey sweetie,” he confirmed, “Sorry I took so long.” “You’re here,” she gave him a watery smile, “You came back for me.”
Read on AO3
Hey guys, sorry for being a day late, I was really exhausted after rehearsals the whole week so I wanted to have the day off. This one is also gonna be a lot heavier than the last few ones so please keep that in mind before going into this. Stay safe <3.
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Just close your eyes, the sun is going down You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound - Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift
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Everyone was out, everyone was free, everyone was done with this nightmare. Except for her.
It was a glitch in the system, a bug from Kinger’s collection that proved to be an actual ‘game bug’. Everything after was a blur, seeing an exit door, ignoring Caine begging them to stay, actually leaving and feeling their physical bodies again for the first time in years.
But then there was the march of people, their faces covered with masks and dressed in bulletproof uniforms. The group had ran, and ran, and ran. But they knew that they couldn’t get far…not without a distraction.
And so, Pomni had stayed behind, giving the others a chance to escape. She could remember someone screaming, telling her not to do this and stay with them. But it was too late, she was already gone.
Now, she was here. Strapped to a hospital bed, with foggy memories and remembering nothing but her circus name. Feeling only loss and hollowness at her closest chance of freedom yet losing it all within a few moments.
It didn’t matter though, everyone else was safe and free, even if it meant she couldn’t be. 
She bit her lip, feeling tears burn in the corner of her eyes. She didn’t dare cry, this was her choice, she couldn’t fuss over it now. 
It was funny, wasn’t it? She was the one so desperate for an exit and finding a way to leave, yet she was the one who was still trapped. Irony was cruel and brutal. 
Her blood froze when she heard the door of the room unlock, shaking and pulling at the straps in an attempt to escape. Three scientists entered the room, ignoring her panicked state as they surrounded her. “Well subject P0-11, I have to say I’m impressed,” one of the doctors observed, “You actually managed to escape our little simulation.”
“You know my name, don’t you!” she spat, “Just say it! I’m not a lab rat!”
“Unfortunately you don’t get a say in that,” the scientist said, “It must be sad, being out of the game yet you still have no idea who you are. How pathetic.”
“Fuck you!” she growled. God it felt good to swear again.
“Regardless, you’re still here and useful to us,” He turned to the other scientists in the room, “Bring it forward.”
Her heart nearly stopped when she saw the other two scientists pick up a headset. Tears started to rush down her cheeks as she thrashed at her binds and screamed enough that it almost made her throat bleed. But she didn’t dare stop. There was no way she would be putting on another headset, in this lifetime or the next.
The first scientist was handed the headset as the other two held Pomni down by her arms. “GET OFF ME!” she screeched, “GET THE FUCK OFF ME!” Without warning, she lunged at them, grabbing at one of their arms with her teeth and bit down hard. 
The second scientist yelped out in pain, clutching their appendage that now started to bleed. “You little bitch!” he growled, gripping her face, “You wanna take that kind of attitude with me! Huh?!”
“Now, now,” the first scientist deadpanned, placing a hand on the second scientist’s shoulder and pushed him away. He sneered as he looked down at Pomni, “Keep a calm head P0-11. It will only get worse from here.”
No, no this couldn’t be how it ends. Not with her being placed into another simulation, with a lower chance of escaping. This couldn’t be how the rest of her life would carry out. She kept thrashing, screaming, doing anything to delay the headset being placed upon her. She squeezed her eyes shut, shutting out the reality of the situation, buying herself the last few seconds of normality she had left…
The sound of a fist meeting flesh and a body hitting the ground was what made her freeze, though she refused to open her eyes. Not until the threat was gone. She heard the crash out metal and two other voices cry out before being silenced as well. 
She could hear footsteps approach her, making her tremble for what could possibly be awaiting her in the light. She whimpered as two soft hands gently cupped her cheeks, wiping away a stray tear that leaked down her cheek.  
“Pomni,” a voice whispered, “It’s me, love.”
It was so familiar. She knew that voice, didn’t she?
“Could you open your eyes for me?” the voice asked, “It’s okay, you’re gonna be alright.”
Pomni found herself opening one eye, a man with a kind face looking down at her with a caring smile. She opened the other one, letting the pieces fit together in her head until the puzzle was fully formed. “Jax?”
“Hey sweetie,” he confirmed, “Sorry I took so long.”
“You’re here,” she gave him a watery smile, “You came back for me.”
Jax moved his hands the the restraints on the bed, “As if I’m gonna let those fuckers take what’s mine.”
“Easy there,” she let out a tired laugh, “Let’s get out of here first.” Everything that had, it felt like such a blur. The escape, the capture, the fear. “I..I thought they…that I was…I thought I was gonna be trapped again.”
She let out a strangled sob, Jax’s hands immediately going back to her cheeks after untying the last restraint to wipe them away again. “Hey, hey, it’s okay I’m here,” he shushed her gently, pressing a kiss to her forehead, “I won’t let anything happen to you, never again.”
She let out another cry, it was all too much, she never felt so relieved and scared than she did right now. Jax scooped Pomni up into his arms, the girl clutching to him tightly as she pressed her face to his shoulder. “Let’s get out of here,” he spoke.
“W-wait! How are we gonna get out of here?!” she panicked, “The guards-”
“Don’t worry, I didn’t come alone,” he told her, “When we got far away enough, we managed to find the folks working on finding us. They’re the reason I was able to get back to you.”
“I wanna go home,” she sniffed. She couldn’t remember home, she didn’t know what she looked like. But right now, in his arms, it felt a whole lot like it.
“Yeah,” he nodded, stroking her arm, “We can go home.”
He passed the hallways, guards in uniforms swarming the halls and taking down the people who had kidnapped and tortured them for years on end in that digital hell. 
For the first time in so long, Pomni felt the fresh air fill her nose the moment Jax stepped out of that building. For the first time, Pomni took a true, real breath. For the first time, Pomni was reminded that she was actually alive. She wasn’t a character in a simulation, to be pushed around like a toy.
She was human and alive .
Jax carried her to a nearby ambulance, not even daring to leave her side once she was placed down on a stretcher and taken to the hospital.
“I’m here,” he whispered, holding her hand and placing a kiss against the back of it, “I’ll always be here.”
Pomni gripped his hand back weakly, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
Jax’s eyes widened in surprise at the fact she would guess that, leaning into her face slowly one more time, “For you love, never.”
He sealed that promise by gently pressing his lips against hers, slow, sweet and soft. 
This is it Pomni decided, smiling against Jax’s lips as she let out a comforted sigh.
This is freedom.
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whomadewaffles · 7 months
Text
PART 3 of 3 of my Pjhazel incorrect qoutes! Sadly the last part.. at least for now. I won't say for definite there won't be more cos I adore this movie and this ship especially, but may take some time.
Same things apply to this one as the others, hope these were as fun to read as they were to make! This one became longer than I intended because I just had to add a few new ones too it especially the code names one because It made me chuckle and fit so well.
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Pj: I’m in lov—
Pj: Lov—
Pj: I have feelin—
Josie: It’s okay, take your time.
Pj: ...Hazel.
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Pj *to hazel*: If I have developed a huge crush on you, that's my business. It literally has nothing to do with you.
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Hazel: Autism speaks?
Hazel: Yeah, I never shut the fuck up.
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Pj: Horny doesn’t always mean wanting to have sex. Sometimes it means wanting to be beat up or stabbed or something.
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Hazel: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.
_______
Pj: I- hm...
Hazel: be nice
Pj: Of course! I'm finding kind words.
Hazel
Pj:....
Hazel:
Pj:...
Hazel: ... it takes you that long to find-
Pj: It does! I'm trying!
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Ms. Callahan: You're not good enough for my daughter
Pj: YOU'RE not good enough for your daughter
Ms. Callahan: Excuse me?!
Pj: You heard me
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Hazel: I set off explosives to feel joy.
Pj: That's adorable.
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Pj *delusional from a punch to the face during fight club*: You have... beautiful eyes..
Hazel *flustered*: She's lost her mind!
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Hazel: I have no idea what's going on but I am being so brave about it.
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Pj *to hazel*: Why do you keep looking me in the eyes? My huge tits are down here
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Hazel *is sad*
Pj:*looks up “how to comfort someone”*
Website: “Do not make insensitive comments or mock the person”
Pj: Fuck.
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Hazel: Are you okay?
Pj: In what aspect? Phisically, no injury whatsoever and no signs of exhaustion. Appearance wise, I'm not just okay, I'm a whole ass meal. We're talking three courses, five stars.
Hazel:
Pj: But mentally? I could use some therapy I guess.
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Pj: it may have been a stupid decision, but it was MY stupid decision and I could never turn my back on it
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Hazel: please, stay out of trouble
Pj: Not my strong suit
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Pj *about Hazel*: *sighs* God, what a loser. I can't believe I'm gonna sleep with her.
Josie: I mean, you don't have to.
Pj: Nah, I'm gonna.
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Pj: Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Hazel: Yes. It's February 14th.
Pj: I- Nevermind.
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*Texting*
Pj: I wanna sleep with you.
Pj: But like in the innocent way.
Pj: ...
Pj: Get your bitch ass over here and cuddle with me you little shit!
Hazel: Damn Pj, calm down, I'm putting my shoes on.
Pj: <3
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Hazel: Sometimes sarcasm is laid on so thick that even I can detect it.
Hazel: This was not one of those times.
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Pj: I love you.
Hazel: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.
*pj and Hazel make out passionately*
Sylvie, to annie: You owe me 20 dollars.
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Hazel *after Pj insults someone*: I know Pj is very sorry and didn’t mean it.
Pj: Very sorry.
Hazel: See?
Pj: But I did mean it.
Hazel: pj!
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Brittney: Why are you ignoring Hazel?
Pj: I’m playing hard to get.
Brittney: Why would you do that? You’re already hard to want.
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Pj: Not much could ruin today.
Jeff: Hey overall bitch #2
Pj: Oh, Fuck. I forgot saying that summons him.
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*just before josie and pj find the other fight club members at the game to apologise*
Josie: Talk to Hazel first, and apologise. That's what friends do.
Pj: Urgh, I really don’t want too. I was just gonna wait til' I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.
Josie: That was your plan for dealing with this???
Pj: That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have seventy-seven arguments I'm gonna win that way.
Josie *drags her to the football game*: Nope, we're doing the apology instead.
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Pj: Quick, Hazel, start talking about boring nerd shit!
Hazel: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word “nerd” derogatorily, it means you’re the one that’s out of the zeitgeist.
Pj: Yes, that’s perfect. Just like that.
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*backstory: the cheerleaders are at practice and the rest of the club are getting together to help plan a perfect promposal for josie to give to isabel*
Pj: From now on, we'll be using code names. You can address me as 'Eagle 1.'
Pj: Hazel is 'Currently doing that.'
Hazel: *high fives pj*
Pj: Sylvie is 'It happened once in a dream.'
Pj: Annie. Codename - 'If I had to pick a republican.'
Pj: josie is... 'Eagle 2.'
Josie: Oh, thank god.
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starstofillmydream · 6 months
Note
You were about to lie down when you heard the door chime. An involuntary groan escaped you. It’d already been a far too long day, and now somebody comes to bother you in the middle of the night? You almost ignored it, almost chose to not give a fuck and leave whoever was outside standing in the cold. But the door chimed again and you realised that whoever was out there was evidently quite determined.
So you went and opened the door, an angry “What?” escaping your lips before you even realise it.
But then you look up and stare into familiar brown eyes. There was a softness, a compassionate in them. He had always been very tuned in to how you felt, but had he really realised that quickly? Well, you had just barked around him.
There was a soft smile on his lips, betraying his affection. “Sorry, I know it’s late.”
“You said two more weeks.” It was all you could get out, as you stood there, in shock. You’d been thinking about him every day since he left, had felt that gaping hole in your chest and you had prepared yourself to feel this way for two more weeks, but here he was. Cody. Your Cody.
“Guess I missed ya,” he said, his smiled widening.
You finally start grinning too, before you rush to pull him into a hug. He reciprocates on instinct, holding you tightly against him. You can feel the hard plates of his armour digging into your skin, but you don’t care. Cody was back and he was with you and he was safe. And that’s all you really ever ask for.
———
About an hour later Cody has eaten and showered and is now lying in bed next to you. Your head is resting on his chest. You can hear his heart beating, feel him breathing. His hand is in your hair, stroking it absentmindedly. He was exhausted when he arrived, and was already dozing off now.
You had a million things to say though, a million questions to ask about the campaign and a million more things to tell him about your godawful day. But you didn’t, because you wanted him to rest. Besides, with him here nothing else really mattered that much.
And yet. Despite the relief and joy dancing in your chest, there was still a pit in your stomach and a certain tightness in your throat. And after a while the contradiction became too much and silent tears began rolling down your face.
You hadn’t thought Cody would notice, as he was basically asleep at this point. But then you felt him stir.
“Cyar’ika?”
That single word, in that tired yet sweet, sweet voice was enough to knock something loose inside you. The tears started flowing faster and a small sob escaped you as you sat up, your back towards him. You were glad the lights were already out, so there was hardly a chance he could see you.
“Hey, hey,” Cody said softly and sat up as well, moving closer to you and gently grabbing your shoulders. “What’s wrong?”
He leans in and kisses your cheek and you sob again. His arms wrap around your waist now as he practically pulls you into his lap from behind.
“What is it?” he asks again.
“I don’t know,” you admit, your voice a bit unsteady. “It’s just been such a long day and most of the evening was really shitty and I’m so happy to see you but I’m still just…,” you trail off and sigh, trying to wipe some of your tears. It sounds pathetic now that you told him, but Cody wasn’t laughing.
No, he was stroking your back with one hand and wiping your tears with the other. There was such a kind calmness to the way he moved, to the way he touched you.
“You’re overwhelmed?” He suggested, offering a name for the issue.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Okay. What do you need?”
For the next hour and a half the two of you stayed in that position. You told Cody about every shitting thing that’d happened as of late and he listened attentively and answered every question you asked. He never stopped rubbing your back or kissing your face or scratching your head or finding another way to show you his affection throughout the whole thing.
You don’t remember falling asleep that night, but when you wake up the next morning it’s in his arms. And what else could you ever really ask for?
PHI 🥹😭 HI HELLO HOW ARE YOU HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?!
This is absolutely beautiful and made me so giddy and so comforted at the same time. You captured Cody's emotional intelligence so well—I genuinely felt like I was being held by him in my bed. The hug? The kisses? The hand running through the hair? Listening attentively and asking questions and staying engaged? Being pulled into his lap (this one in particular took me out)??? The overall gentleness? This is the dream realized.
Thank you so, so much for sending this to me. I appreciate more than you know; honestly, more than words could adequately express. Reading this instantly made me feel better. You're such a talented writer so receiving this in my inbox was such a treat 💕 It was so nice hearing from you and I hope all is well for you!
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glamoureddreamer · 2 years
Note
I just wanted to ask
May you do a camp camp fic
While one of the characters like Max get mental break down and David calming and helping him Down cuz I realy want to see that
I was happy to get this request! Thank you!
Not okay
Camp camp (David and Max)
Warnings: child neglect, child abuse, panic attacks, mental breakdowns, (please let me know if I’ve missed anything)
If you or a loved one has been abused in any way shape or form please get help from one of the multiple help hotlines. You matter and you deserve help. Thank you everyone, have a great day and I know you can get through it &lt;3
“Are you okay Max?” David asked. Max nodded looking down at the ground. It was very out of character for him to not reply in a snarky way.
David looked at him doubtfully, he turned his chair to face the ten-year-old. They were currently in David’s cabin.
They had waited for Max’s parents for three hours before finally giving up. Gwen called child protective services while David comforted Max.
“You know, it is okay to not be okay. You are going through something…That no child should ever have to go through.” David explained. Max shook his head and looked out the small window.
“Well, it doesn’t matter, because I am.” Max snapped. David sighed and gently set his hand on Max’s shoulder. The ten-year-old flinched and moved away from David’s comfort.
“Max it’s okay to be sad. You don’t have to ‘not care’”
“But I don’t care, they never cared about me so why would I give a fuck about them.” Max sneered. David took a deep breath.
“I think you care, I think you care so much and it’s hurting you so you are protecting yourself from feeling those negative feelings.”
Max glares at the adult. “What the fuck would you know?”
“More than you would think… Which is why I want to help.”
Max rolled his eyes and huffed crossing his arms looking back out the window.
It grew quiet between them. David didn’t want to force the younger to talk if he didn’t want to.
“I did everything I was supposed to.” Max scoffs after a moment. David looks at him, waiting for him to continue.
“I have all A’s in school, I clean the whole house, I’m quiet…what am I doing wrong?”
“Absolutely nothing Max, you are doing nothing wrong. They are the ones who are wrong.”
Max ignores him and continues onward with his spiral.
“I never cried in front of them when they hurt me! I let them do whatever to me! What’s wrong with me?!” Max yells pulling his hair to try and stop the emotional pain.
“I don’t- I can’t,” he gasps feeling as if he couldn’t breathe.
“It’s okay Max, you’re safe. I’ve got you.” David is quick to pull the child close to him.
Max clings to David as if his life depended on it. David rubs his back and combs his fingers through Max’s hair, but when he was still sobbing just as hard as he was in the beginning after about ten minutes. David began to grow concerned.
“Max? Max, can you slow down and take a breath for me?” he asked gently. Max didn’t answer him and continued to sob.
“I want you to breathe with me, okay?” he said, taking some deep breaths. “Can you breathe with me?”
Max nodded, and he began to calm down at a slow pace.
“You’re doing great. Just keep trying to breathe.”
After a few more minutes, the sobs turned to cries and cries turned into hiccups. Max finally began to relax, he seemed exhausted. They stayed hugging each other for a while until Max was okay.
“I just wanted them to love me,” Max spoke up after a moment. His voice was quiet he sounded tired.
“And that’s bullshit.” David snapped. His harsh tone even startled him.
“You shouldn’t have to want that. You should get it no matter what, being loved is a need not a want.”
Max shook his head trying not to cry again.
“I want you to listen to me, Max. You’re amazing Max. You’re a great kid and if your parents can’t realize that then they don’t deserve you.”
David gently rocks Max in his arms in a comforting motion.
Max eventually pulled away and started rubbing the tears out of his eyes.
“Fuck, sorry…” Max whispered once he cleared the tears from his eyes.
David shook his head, “No, Max. You don’t have to be sorry.”
Max seemed too tired to argue and just quietly nodded his head.
“You can lay down if you want. I know you’ve had quite a day.” David signaled to his bed, Max nodded a little.
He stood up and crawled into David’s bed.
“Will you stay?” Max asks getting comfortable.
“Of course Max, I’ll be here when you wake up.” David gave a friendly smile.
“Thank you, David… for everything.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Max.”
Max nodded, closing his tired eyes. David smiles watching over him until Max was asleep.
Once he was peacefully sleeping David turns back to the adoption papers.
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skzxlevanter · 3 years
Text
stray kids reacting to you being used to toxic behavior in your previous relationship
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skz!maknaeline x gn!reader
warnings: mentioning of toxic relationship/behavior , cursing , pet names (baby/babe;angel)
gifs belong to their original owners!!
not proofread now!!
───✱*.。:。✱*.:。✧*.。✰*.:。✧*.。:。*.。✱ ───
[ hyuwngline / pt1 ]
han jisung:
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“y/n i told you to stay away from the computer and now the damn file is gone! can’t you listen to me for once?” jisung said with a raised voice, eyes trained on the computer, clicking frantically.
“i- i- didn’t mean to- i swear just wanted to get something from the table and then accidentally touched the keyboard-“ you stumbled, fiddling with your fingers as tears start to build up at the brick of your eye.
“well this still doesn’t bring the file back” he answered, extremely upset and frustrated, finally turning around to face you as he raises his arms up to stroke his hair.
but in the exact moment he raised his arms, he could see you flinching, noticing the shaky state you were in and immediately, all his anger turned into concern, as he quickly pulls you into a tight hug.
“y/n did you think i was going to hurt you? god i’m so sorry i swear…i never let anything happen to you” he said as he pulls away from you to look deep into your eyes, the ted teary state making him coo. “you’re save with me baby, you don’t need to worry about anything, seriously…what do you think of a movie with cuddles to make this up to you,hm?”
lee felix:
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felix was extremely sweet and patient most of the time, but at this particular day he was extremely exhausted from work, his nerves already hanging by a threat, when he found out that you used up the flour, he got extremely annoyed since he was trying to bake to calm down a bit.
“seriously y/n can’t you ask me before you use up all the flour or at least consider buying a new one? i already promised the others to bring them something tomorrow and now i come home and find fucking nothing!!”
your whole body started to shake at his words, you never heard him that aggressive before and you couldn’t help but feel extremely scared as tears started falling down your cheeks. “i’m really sorry” you mumbled over and over again, scared that he was going to hurt you, but as soon as felix got a glimpse at your state, he was more angry at himself than anyone.
“please, y/n i shouldn’t have screamed at you, i am so sorry, please don’t cry because of me angel” he said, also tearing up a bit while pressing soft kisses all over you, his hands drawing soothing circles all over your body while whispering the most precious things into your ear.
“you truly deserve the world, and don’t you dare to think otherwise”
kim seungmin:
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“why do i always have to clean the dishes it’s not fair”, seungmin sighed once again. usually he’d do that with a more joking, ironic way but today it was nothing but real annoyance. “really y/n , maybe consider helping for once because i’m really tired of always cleaning up”
you could already feel all the tension building up in your body, not being able to answer and instead of that being completely frozen. “so you’re gonna ignore me too now?” seungmin continued his ranting, not seeing how affected you are since your in the living room while he’s still in the kitchen.
but even tho he was really annoyed, the ling silence that followed after he was speaking seemed concerning, which is why he decided to look after you, just to find you crawled up in the couch, loud sobs leaving your mouth.
he wrapped his arms tightly around you, softly swaying from side to side while shushing you gently.
“y/n” he said, voice soft while slowly patting your back with his hand. “i didn’t mean all of this- i was just a bit- annoyed today- but that’s not your fault. please don’t cry because of me, you’re just perfect as you are.”
yang jeongin:
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it was nothing out of the ordinary, you just went to the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water, but as you walked back to the living room, you stumbled over something almost losing balance, catching yourself in the last moment before falling, hissing as you spilled some water over you.
“no no no, shit not right now” you suddenly heard as more curses came out of jeongins room, wondering why he seems so distressed all of the sudden, but then it hit you: you stumbled over the wifi cable. and jeongins was in the middle of a meeting which didn’t make things any better at all.
you were quick to plug the cable bag in and a few moments after that you could hear your boyfriend talking again, but the panic in your body doesn’t settle down. you tried to sit down and concentrate on the show your watching but you can’t help yourself from fiddling around and as jeongins stepped into the room you couldn’t hold back
“i’m so so sorry, please, i didn’t mean to-“ you were interrupted by a gentle kiss on the lips. “what are you sorry for babe?” jeongin questioned as he pulled away slowly, his hands finding their way to your hips as they hold you tight. “the wifi- at the meeting- it was my fault and i-“ you were silenced by another kiss. “bane please don’t worry about things like that, it’s really not a big deal…and besides that…” he paused to place another short kiss on your lips “i was actually quite glad about having a small break”
masterlist - part 1
a/n: school once again took away all my time and energy so sorry for the long wait for part two- but nevertheless i hope you enjoyed reading!!
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erodasfishtacos · 3 years
Text
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HSLOT PHILLY
Like, comment, share, and come talk if you enjoyed the fic.
I write for free - so if you would like to support my work, you can donate here.
-
Harry is predictable.
He falls into the same patterns during every tour since he was on the Up All Night with One Direction.
The excitement that comes with the first couple of shows begins to fade as he starts his world wide tour that doesn’t end for nearly eight months.
His constant adrenaline wears off and his exhaustion from not having toured in two years settles deep in his bones.
YN senses it from a mile away, has nearly eleven years experience dealing with her jet-lagged, exhausted, and stubborn husband.
It hits the day of the Philadelphia show, they got in late the night before, and YN always set her alarm for seven thirty in the morning to workout.
Ninety-five percent of the time, Harry got up with her and they either did a jog around the new city or they took advantage of the in-hotel gym.
Four percent of the time, he would whine and tug the comforter over his head, whimpering, “M’too tired, baby. Stay in bed w’me.”
And then the one percent, which was today.
The alarm emits a low, constant beep that rouses YN, in the time she takes to rub her eye and come back into reality - Harry hisses with a sharp edge, “Turn tha’ fuckin’ thing off.”
She bites her tongue at his tone, reaching to turn it off but she can already tell what day they’re going to have.
YN slips out from under the covers and automatically gets a comment from her husband, it another whiney demand, “Cover m’feet, y’too the blanket off them.”
“Yes, your majesty,” YN replies reproachfully, rearranging the blankets before quietly moving around the room to change.
“Stop makin’ so much noise.”
“Turn off tha’ light.”
“S’too early f’this, d’you not care that m’tired?”
She chooses to ignore the remarks, hoping that he can sleep off the attitude.
When YN is about to leave, he grumbles, “Y’need to kiss me goodbye.”
Harry purses his lips for a soft kiss, not moving a muscle, and after that - she leaves to head down to the gym.
YN is required a body guard, definitely when she isn’t with Harry or a group of people, and she decided not to follow those rules today.
She had her TPWK water bottle in hand, a cute workout set on ***, and her AirPods tucked in her ear with some Spice Girls playing.
It’s only about twenty minutes into her exercise, a light jog on the treadmill, that a young girl slips up beside the machine.
YN is kind, stopping the belt to smile for a selfie before the girl scampers off and she resumes her run - music blasting.
However, what YN didn’t know, is that fans had found out early in the morning which hotel they where at and a hoard was rushing towards the small gym.
It’s not even ten minutes later when a swarm of fans in rushing into the work area, lining up around her machine with their phones flashing and recording.
She tries to be nice, “Hey! Uh, I’m just trying to workout. I’m sorry, but no pictures please.”
Then there is loud protest and people shoving each other, begging and pleading for a selfie or for her to sign something - all because she was Harry’s wife.
There is literally no exit to escape to, so she relents and anxiously calls Frank - one of the body guards - to come retrieve her.
-
The whole way back up to her hotel room, Frank is lecturing her about safety and how she could have gotten hurt.
And when he scans the keycard for her hotel room, she feels her stomach drop because Harry is sat against the kitchen counter.
His brown locks are rumpled and going every which way, just in his briefs that are low on his narrow hips, and absolutely irate expression on his face.
“Are y’fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” Harry snaps, brow furrowed and jaw clenched - his arms were crossed tightly against his chest.
“Good morning to you, sunshine,” YN mutters, shutting the door and kicking off her tennis shoes to the side.
“Don’t,” Harry replies sourly, “Please explain t’me why I get woken up by Frank to be told y’getting mobbed in the gym? And y’didn’t to call him.”
YN bristles at his tone, giving him a pointed look as she steps further into the room, “It’s not a big deal. I just wasn’t thinking.”
“Y’right about that, y’weren’t thinkin’. It is a big deal, y’could have gotten hurt - shouldn’t have t’babysit m’own wife,” Harry huffs, stomping back over to the bed and sliding back under the covers.
“You better watch your tone-“
They’re interrupted with a knock to their door, Harry throws the covers over his head and leaves YN to open the door.
It’s Jeff, who barges in with a coffee in one hand, “Come on, H. Did you forget? You have soundcheck early today and then you have to meet with FullStop to review the details of that new merchandise contract.”
“No, move it,” The popstar groans, muffled from the heavy blankets over him, and his manager and wife give each other a knowing look.
“We can’t. Get up, we need to leave in fifteen,” Jeff replies casually, unbothered as he sips from his to-go mug.
It has Harry dramatically ripping off the covers and getting out of bed, as he charges off towards the bathroom, he shouts backwards, “Wish someone would have fuckin’ told me! Like m’manager or m’wife!”
“Oh my god, here we go,” YN groans quietly to Jeff, snatching up the few things she needs for the venue as well as Harry’s and shoving them in his duffle.
He comes out a few moments later, dressed in running shorts and a vintage Queen shirt - going to tug on his Nikes without a word to either.
But in true Harry fashion, even when he’s mad, he’s still a gentleman. He slips the duffle off his wife’s shoulder so she doesn’t have to carry it.
“Thank you,” She murmurs but he avoids eye contact, being the first to open the hotel room and trudge towards the awaiting car.
It’s a quiet ride, Harry looks out the window with a deep frown and puffy eyes - eyes heavy from the lack of sleep.
Usually, he’d be curled into YN - snuggling as close as possible and asking for her to pet his hair to soothe him.
Not today. But he does have his hand on her thigh.
There’s already fans at the arena and Harry doesn’t acknowledge them - keeps his head down and walks quickly into the private entrance past the barricades.
When a irritated fan screams, “Asshole! We waited all night here for you!”
YN watches as Harry goes to turn, to say something but she pushes him forward through the door to prevent him from doing something he’d regret when wasn’t in a foul mood.
They manage through the long hallways, filled with bustling tour crew, and everybody there to make the show happen.
Sound check isn’t as fun as it usually is, the band stays low-key when Harry does exactly what he needs to do and nothing more.
And after the merch meeting, Harry has reached his limit apparently.
He was so tired, so fucking moody that he couldn’t deal with anymore human interaction.
YN has to step in when she gets a text from Harry Lambert.
Come get your husband. Sarah’s Kitchen.
She sighs, excusing herself from hanging out with Jeff and Glenne - she can hear him from the hallway and now she’s finally get irritated.
“I asked for that specific brand. It’s literally one of the only things I’ve asked for on this tour.”
YN takes a deep breathe before stepping in, there are crew trying not to stare as Harry complains to Sarah about something unimportant.
“Harry,” She says flatly, “Come on.”
He snatches his water bottle and follows his wife out without another word, trailing behind until they end up in his dressing room.
“You need to stop. You’re being a literal nightmare today,” YN tells him, watching him as he digs in the duffle.
“Where is m’charger? Did y’not pack it?” He ignores her words.
“I must have forgot. Harry, I know you’re tired but you can’t be treating everyone like-“
Harry pushes back the bag, seething for no reason, “I’ll treat people however the fuck I want!”
“You’re acting like a spoiled popstar right now,” YN replies, attempting to stay level-headed and calm with him.
“S’my show! M’tour!”
“Yes and everyone is here to support you and you’re treating them like shit. Including me, I’m your wife - the one person in the world that’s here for you no matter what and you’re being downright mean.”
“Y’so fuckin’ sensitive,” Harry mutters angrily, digging around to try to find a charger in a different bag.
And…that stung a bit.
When he doesn’t get a response, he looks up and notices how her demeanor had changed - it brings him back to reality for a little bit.
“I’m not going to stay here and be talked to like that because you don’t feel good. I’ll leave you alone because you are being insufferable.”
“Bab-“
YN is already out the door, storming back to Sarah’s kitchen to apologize for her husband’s diva behavior and everyone shrugs her off - knowing it’s not her fault.
She is sat down with the band and a few others when her husband saunters in, he doesn’t look at anyone else as he walks up to his wife.
“Baby, can I talk to you?” He mumbles, his warm hand coming to cup her shoulder.
“Harry,” YN says back, they’ve been together for so long that those words are all she needs to say for him to formulate a response.
“Come nap w’me please, need you. I’ll apologize t’you,” Harry says, his palm encompassing and big on her.
“Harry,” She repeats.
The crew looks on in amusement as Harry huffs, he lifts his head and speaks loudly to the room at once, “I apologize for my behavior. I have no excuse for getting upset like I have been today. I hope you guys can forgive me.”
Everyone assures him that they forgive him, most of them have dealt with actual spoiled celebrities and Harry was just having a bad day (which still really wasn’t that bad.)
“Okay, come on, bunny,” YN agrees, satisfied and can’t help but smile a bit when she stands up and Harry automatically intertwines their fingers to hold her hand.
The sofa in his dressing room folds out to be a bed and they still had hours before the show.
Once they’ve locked the doo and settled down on the mattress - they’re both laying on their sides, facing each other.
“M’sorry, darlin’,” Harry whispers, “I haven’t been very nice t’you today. I was just upset about the gym thing and just being so tired.”
YN hums, combing throwing his fluffy curls with her fingers as his hands explore over her hips and belly like always.
“You always get like this every once in a while on tour, like a little spoiled popstar,” YN says softly, no sharpness in her tone, “You also need to be nice to your wife.”
“M’always nice t’my wife,” He mumbles childishly, leaning forward to nip at her chin, “I am sorry, know tha’ when I act like that it embarrasses you.”
“You’re better than acting like that,” YN reminds him, allowing him to tug her into his warm, now bare chest, “I’m never gonna let you turn into some fame monster. You’re gonna stay the kind, funny, compassionate person I met when I was young.”
And when YN doesn’t get a reply, she glances to see Harry’s eyes shut, mouth slightly parted as he breathes rhythmically and his entire face relaxes as he sleeps.
“Still my boy,” YN murmurs lovingly, nuzzling before letting sleep overtake her.
-
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undead-merman · 3 years
Note
Can I please request some bunny! Satan nsfw with a gn reader?
Thank you for all your works, I love reading them all!
Thanks. Someone else asked for the rest so here.
🐰Yandere Bunny Mammon, Leviathan, and Satan🐰 Mating Season GN - Reader NSFW
(Contains: Breeding Kink)
Mammon
Before Mating Season
Mammon is normally very unprepared for his Rut only ever noticing when it’s a day away or just as it starts. But now that you’re there he’s overprepared, much to his dismay, as his brothers tease him for it. Dozens of different kinds of healthy snacks, mineral waters, even creams for sores. He just wants to impress you even in ways like this.
He gets more moody than normal, getting angrier and more jealous of you. Yelling at anyone who even looks at you all while pulling you closer and shoving his face into you and guiding you away. He’s also extremely touchy, grabbing you playfully, smacking your ass, or even teasing your sex before backing away red faced, realizing what he did.
He’s much more forward asking you on dates and pulling you around or forcing himself into your room to spend time with you. He simply won’t leave you alone and anytime you wander off he whines and complains and practically throws himself at you. He simply monopolizes all of your time.
He steals a lot of your clothes and belongings and hides them in his room. When you need them he presents them to you with a wagging tail more like a dog than a rabbit telling you he got it for you so you don’t have to go far and push it onto you. He likes to keep one of your pillows in his hoard and hump into it while pretending it's you. He's scared to lose himself to his rut and doing something embarrassing or hurt you in some way. He thrusts into the pillow trying to elevate his building sexual frustration but it only gets him more worked up and craving you even more.
During Mating Season
When his Rut is a day or two away he gets far more aggressive with others looking at you then ever before and will drag you away and keep you locked up with him so your attention is only on him. He’ll just hold you, unwilling to let go. He nuzzles into your neck but slowly moves to more intimate spots, too lost in the feeling of you to realize his actions. He’s just begging you to love him and adore him, muttering in your skin with his eyes closed. His ears are shaking and tail is straight up.
His Rut hits him like a truck and he's all over you, placing open mouth kisses all over your body and his hands grip your hips tightly, but you can feel them shaking from his excitement and arousal. All embarrassment flies out the window and he’s trapping you under his body, panting heavily the idea of filling you until you're so fucked out, then driving you insane by continuing.
He takes an extra long time to prepare you, fingering you slowly and reslishing in the moans you make, almost a revenge of sorts for being so wonderful smelling right before his Rut. As he fingers you he’s grinding on any part of your body his hips come in contact with. He cums once or twice on you shivering while looking frustrated from not being satisfied at all and just getting more worked up.
Once he’s inside you, his ears are shaking wildly and he’s grinning from ear to ear as he suddenly pounds you until your legs shake with exhaustion. He’s covering your body in hickies and bite marks, but concentrating them in areas you both know will be noticeable afterwards. Mammon just happily grunts out how everyone will see just how much you belong together.
Even during breaks he likes to stay inside and just have you warm his cock, he desperately craves to stay inside of you. The way he casually talks about you being bred by him is embarrassing but he doesn’t even seem to notice just paying attention to if you need to eat or rest. After he’s right back into fucking you full and raw.
He loves any position he can put you in so long as he’s closely pressed to you he hates when you're too far from him and tugs you back in close to him.
After Mating Season
After his rut is over and his senses go back to normal he’s hiding himself under the sheets horrified and ashamed of all the embarrassing things he said and did; but if you try to stand he’ll suddenly burst from his cocoon, telling you to sit down and he’ll do whatever you need.
He takes some convincing to let you roam free again and when you’re allowed to leave he’s extremely protective of you and doesn’t even let his brothers look at you for too long and starts yelling at them as he pulls you into his arms using his entire body as a shield. He has a nasty kick befitting a rabbit he’s not afraid to use if anyone touches you.
He’s your one and only mate and he’s extremely boastful of it he uses you to brag and is so proud to call you his and the thought of him successfully breeding you makes him glow with excitement he’s constantly pestering you over and over to let him do it again. He swears that doing it with you gives him good luck and you're an amazing lucky charm.
Leviathan
Before Mating Season
Leviathan is absolutely horrified by his Rut and is one of the ones to overly prepare for it at least a month in advance and has a small anime themed backpack to hold all of his essentials in. He packs a ton of water bottles with a fruity flavored vitamin powder. He gets easily dehydrated so packing them is a must unless he wants to pass out.
He tries to keep it a secret as long as possible. His heart wouldn’t be able to handle the embarrassment after exposure, though he really really wants to spend his Rut with you. He keeps imagining it over and over and eventually he gets too worked up and has to mastrubate to his photo collection of you.
He has a hard time looking in your eyes but can’t look away from you. He’ll stare at the back of your head, trying to keep his breathing even, but looking away when you catch him staring. He pretends not to know what you're talking about. But if anyone gets close to you he’ll hunt them down and tear them to pieces in a jealous rage
During Mating Season
When it hits he tries to stay hidden in his room drooling over some clothes he stole and whimpering your name as he sniffs it and pumps it around his painfully hard dick his head filled with nothing but you and how much he wants to see his cum overflowing inside you and dripping down your legs. Eventually he can’t take it anymore and stops hiding, seeking you out and pulling you up on his hips and carrying you home making you wrap your legs around him and him burying his nose into you rubbing his scent into you.
Expect him to apologize over and over for ignoring you and him begging for you to forgive him. He was just embarrassed he’ll apologize by licking and stroking your sex trying to make you feel so good that you forget or forgive him. Then moving your entrance and swirling his tongue around it.
He presses into you, hard, as he grips your hips with surprising strength and makes you see stars as he hits every good spot you have, and even helps you discover some new ones. Every time he cums he asks you not to spill it and he pushes as deep as he could into you.
If you pull his ears you’ll see a switch flip inside of him and he’ll shiver with every thrust pulling into you over and over. His mind just goes blank and he just wants to cum inside you as much as possible. The instinct of breeding you is the only thing on his mind after that.
Once in a while he stops for a short break, hydrating but eating like a bird the whole time he’s snuggling up with you and weakly checking his phone while nuzzling into your collarbone. Bathing with him he sinks low into the bath so only above his nose stick out of the water relaxing for a few minutes before he tries to fuck you in the bath.
After Mating Season
He buries his face in a pillow and apologizes for being so avoidant before he offers you his jacket to keep you warm as he softly rubs your sore and weak legs and wipes a cool damp cloth to clean you up. He’s shockingly not as embarrassed as he thought he would be after he just feels happy.
He’s attentive, bringing you your favorite homemade meal or snacks trying to cutely feed it to you. He claims he doesn’t want to overexert you after everything. But he just wants to take cute pictures of you getting hand fed.
After everything calms down, you find him more confident in him asking you for things especially ear scratches he’s developed an addiction to having your hands on them.
Satan
Before Mating Season
He’s had this written down and planned for a while. He knew when to pinpoint it’s start and prepared for it more and more as it came closer. He knew his emotions would be all over the place so he made sure that you knew and were properly locked inside his room with him. He’d rather avoid the clean up after. If his previous Ruts have taught him anything it’s he knows how messy he can get with dealing with annoyances. So he has you locked up so you both can get ready and stay productive until the day.
He becomes very touchy way more than before, constantly brushing up on you and scenting you before going back to whatever he was last doing. He scents you by holding your face and rubbing his palms over your cheeks and lips as well as shoving his face into the crook of your neck and nuzzling it; however, as the days go by they get more and more lewd with light pinches and/or groping.
He has everything set up like it’s going to be a week-long get away. Drinks stored in cooling containers, quick and nourishing meals prepped and a cute little “toy” to get you ready for the days ahead, though preparation is key and he reminds you of that every time you cum from it.
When he sleeps he ends up nearly chewing on your neck and shoulder and he humps you as you both sleep. He ends up ripping a lot of your clothes and the sheets as he sleeps but he doesn’t seem sorry.
During Mating Season
Satan becomes almost animalistic as he smiles at you and rips your clothes off with his teeth and one hand and suddenly palms your sex as he grinds his hard cock into your ass. He rips his own clothes off and praises your body from the crown of your head to your toes before he hauls you off to his bed.
He’s glad for the forethought of using the toy since he can’t help himself and pulls it out slowly before stuffing you back up with his dick laughing with heavy breathes as he enjoys how warm you are around him.
If you let him, he’ll bind you up, wrists, ankles, and neck, bound with leather belts as he tugs you along, using his thumbs to roughly rub your chest, making you cum over and over again until your nipples are rubbed almost swollen. He loves seeing the marks after, kissing and licking them.
Appeal to his rougher side and ask for more or even rougher treatment and he’ll completely lose his mind for you and treat you as rough as you want. He’s nearly worshiping you as you take each punishment after the last. He’s sure to kiss every mark he makes just to remind you he’s doing this in love.
He instructs you to keep every little drop he cums inside you and if you don’t he’ll be sure to spank your ass red, afterwards for any that drips out, he pushes back in with his thumb.
During breaks he’s overly sweet, kissing every mark as you rest and petting your face over and over. Pet him back and he’ll lean into it with a large blissful smile, you’ve never seen him so relaxed.
After Mating Season
He’s right back to normal after what happened but he’s now tailing you everywhere, watching over you. He makes sure that no one gives you any trouble, ready to crush, smash and rip limb from limb anyone and anything that might potentially hurt you, his brothers are included on that list of things to crush. You're his mate now and he can’t let anything happen to you.
He brings you fresh snacks, packing you lunches, and offering to take care of anything he can for you. He wants to keep you happy and in good spirits and seeing you content and taken care of makes his heart beat wildly.
He scents you even more, nuzzling you wherever he can get to and covering you with his smell. When you're alone he rests his chin on your head and just embraces you, he wasn’t a huge fan of showing affection before but when you're out of public view he’s all over you.
For at least a week he’s in a wonderful mood after spending his Rut with you, his smile dazzling and he openly admits that he’d now rather just have you in his room. You get to have a choice to stay in his room free to roam around it or you stay by Satan's side at all times. You get to pick your collar at least.
1K notes · View notes
bellesowl · 4 years
Text
kiss and make up
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- multiple characters 
⤷ atsumu, sakusa
genre: (an attempt at) angst to fluff ; established relationship, timeskip 
synopsis: in which you have an almost relationship-ending argument
word count: 2.1k total - about 1k each
warnings: fighting (obv), being called a burden, the boys are kinda mean but they make up for it i swear
- a/n: tbh i was kinda getting sick of writing just fluff so i wanted to spice it up a lil! if this sucks i’m probably going to stick to fluff fics but i think it should be fine? this one also only has 2 characs cause idk how i would be at writing angst LMAO if this does well enough i’ll post the one i have written w kuroo and iwa <3 but i feel like this kinda sucks so oh well
- thank u @kybabi for beta-ing <3
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- miya atsumu
you n atsumu have been together since high school which is why you’ve always been inseparable
you went to the same college & moved in together right after, but once he got his job with the jackals, he insisted that you didn’t work and focused on getting your master’s degree
you reluctantly agreed, if only to be able finish & earn your phd soon after
because atsumu is always busy, it’s kinda become commonplace for you to do the chores around the house- like doing the laundry or washing the dishes or cooking dinner for him
but it’s gotten to the point where he expects it
atsumu sighs, unlocking the door to your shared apartment. today’s practice was rough, it was a day of hard conditioning and bad sets and he wanted nothing more than a good meal and to cuddle. the first thing he noticed when he walked in was the mess. instant ramen bowls were scattered everywhere, empty coke cans and dirty napkins were all over the floor, and there you were, in the eye of the hurricane. the second thing he noticed was that there was no homecooked meal.
surprised, he walks into the dining room to see you, furiously typing away at your laptop with four different books surrounding you. you hear his footsteps and look up.
“hey baby! how was practice?” you ask with a smile
atsumu grunts in reply and gestures toward the kitchen, “so.. what’s for dinner babe?”
your eyes widen, “oh shoot! i’m sorry, i was so busy studying for this final that i forgot to cook. do you mind-“ you stop when you see him roll his eyes and head out.
“um, where are you going? you just got home?” you ask, following him.
“out. i have to get food somehow” he replies, “especially because my useless s/o can’t cook a goddamn meal for me” he mutters under his breath
you stop in shock because did he really just say that?
“i’m sorry, i don’t think i heard you right.” you start but he interrupts you
“i said, i have to go get food because someone is too busy to cook a goddamn meal. what do you even do anyways- well, besides spend my money? the least you can do is cook for me, god.” he finally turns to look at you but he feels his heart stop at the look on your face.
not wanting to escalate the situation any further, you try to calm him down, “tsum, hey, i’m sorry i forgot to cook okay? this is my last final before the year ends and i just can’t afford to fail it, so i’ve been studying all day. if you come back to the kitchen, i’ll make you something, okay?”
“i don’t want to eat your half assed attempt at a meal, y/n. the whole point is that you couldn’t get off your ass for an hour to cook when i make the money, i paid for the apartment, hell, i’m even paying for your school! is it really too much to ask for you to stop being such a burden and cook and clean everyday?” he fumed.
you gape at him, shocked that he would even say that. to hell with not escalating things
“at least i want to do something more with my life than hit balls around and retire at 35” you hiss, “and i do everything in this house! i do the laundry, i clean the bathroom, i cook - i do all the things you refuse to. and do i complain? no. i offered to get a job but you refused.”
you turn around to grab your laptop and your textbooks, “just- just do whatever the hell you want to, atsumu.” and with that you walk out the door.
atsumu’s heart drops when he realizes that you actually left. sure, you’ve had arguments here and there, but you’ve never left. he pulls out his phone to call you when he sees you’ve left yours on the counter. knowing there’s nothing to do but wait at this point, he begins to clean up and calls osamu over.
-
it’s already 3 am when you walk back into your apartment, and you blink multiple times when you open the door. it’s ... clean? you’re sure it was a mess when you left, so how would it be clean? you sigh, too tired to think about it more and walk into the kitchen. your eyes widen at the sight. not only is your favorite food on the stove, but there your boyfriend is, asleep on the dining table. you smile slightly, well that explains things.
“ ‘’mu, hey, wake up babe.” you kiss him lightly and shake him.
he grunts and sits up, “baby! i’m so so sorry for what i said. you are in no way, shape, or form a burden, i have no clue why i said that. today’s practice was just really tiring, but i know i shouldn’t have taken it out on you. just please-” he sighs, “just please don’t leave me again.”
your heart breaks your teary eyed boyfriend. “shh, of course baby. i’ll never leave you again okay?” you say, tugging on his arm, “cmon babe, let’s go to bed, okay?”
“mm okay my love.” he replies and practically pulls you into bed. “i love you, okay?”
“i love you too baby.” you reply
“to the moon and back?” he asks
“yeah, and to infinity and beyond.” you reply, your lack of sleep hitting you hard
“oh, i didn’t know i was dating buzz lightyear”
you let out a loud laugh and just like that you both fall into the same routine, love radiating off both of you in waves.
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- sakusa kiyoomi
dating sakusa was,, challenging
it definitely took him a while to get comfortable with you
so you guys have been dating for a couple years now, and at this point he’s def clingy
however there still moments when he reverts to his old self
this just happened to be one of those times
“OUT! AND JUST LIKE THAT, EJP RAIJIN TAKES THE WIN AGAINST THE BLACK JACKALS!”
the stadium is silent before the ejp cheering section erupts in cheers. you stay silent, watching your team below. you watch as sakusa stills, still in disbelief. you make your way down, practically sprinting to your boyfriend.
he sees you on the sideline and makes his way over to you. you put on your biggest smile and attempt to make him feel better.
“you did great, kiyo! you’ll get them next time, yeah?” you beam, knowing how hard he’s been training to beat his cousin
he eyes you warily, not knowing what to say.
usually, sakusa gets pretty clingy after games, so you you move to give him a hug.
“don’t touch me” he barked, jerking away from you. “if you hadn’t been distracting me, we would’ve won.”
you stare at him, refusing to let the tears flow. you both turn when you hear a certain setter yelling at the opposing middle and you sigh.
“um, okay then. i’ll see you at home, yeah?” you ask
sakusa merely nods and makes his way over to his teammates. you look around to see if anyone saw what just happened and you lock eyes with your boyfriend’s cousin, who walks over.
“congrats on the win komori! you guys did so well!” you cheered
“thanks, y/n! and i’m sorry about kiyoomi. i’m sure you know he gets that way sometimes.” he explains
you smile and shake your head, saying that you’re used to it and you both bid your farewells. as you walk out of the stadium, you think back to how your boyfriend, the one person you loved with everything you had in you, utterly embarrassed you in front of his whole team. before you know it, silent tears start streaming down your face. 
you enter your home and immediately rush to the bathroom. you draw yourself a bath and make some dinner while waiting. you assume that kiyoomi wouldn’t be home to have dinner with you anyways- and now that you think about it, you can’t remember the last time you had dinner together. after you finish your bath and eat your dinner, you decide to wait up for boyfriend and watch a couple episodes of your favorite show to pass the time. 
-
kiyoomi walks into his apartment at around 1 am, completely and utterly exhausted. he kicks his shoes off and drops his bag on the floor. The rustling rouses you from sleep and you sit up.
“hey kiyo” you say with a yawn, “where’ve you been all night?” 
sakusa ignores you in favor of getting ready for bed and you frown when he brushes past you. 
“kiyo, babe, what’s wrong? you’ve been ignoring me all night and i-” you start but he interrupts you before you can finish. 
“god, just shut up, y/n. can’t you tell i don’t want to talk to you right now? i’ve already had the worst day, i don’t need you making it any worse.” he snaps
"kiyoomi, look, i understand you’re upset but you shouldn’t take it out on me.” you reason, reaching out towards him, “listen, i’m here if you wanna-” 
“i said, do not touch me.” he seethes. “you are so fucking clingy y/n, lord, let me breathe a little.”
with those words, you explode. “you know what, sakusa,” he flinches when he hears his last name come out of your mouth, “i think i have the right to want to spend some time with my boyfriend! i haven’t seen you in god knows how long- you leave before i wake up and i fall asleep in an empty bed. i’ve been working my ass off to get some time off to watch your stupid volleyball game and what do you do? you embarrass me in front of your whole team!”
you sigh, wiping away the tears that continue that continue to fall. “listen, i don’t want to fight right now. i’m going to go stay at a friend’s house for the night, alright? i’ll see you tomorrow” you say, grabbing your purse. “if you’re even home tomorrow,” you add under your breath.
sakusa is in shock. the moment he saw your tears start to spill, he felt an undeniable and unrelenting ache in his chest that only seemed to grow with every work that came out of your mouth. and when the door shut? sakusa fell on his knees, his heart dropping. he truly couldn’t believe he said that to you. now all he had to do was wait till you got home.
-
2:38 pm - you check the time on your phone before pulling out your keys. you hope you made the right move, choosing to come back home while kiyoomi was still at practice. you open the door and the sight causes your eyes to widen.
there, on the couch with your favorite flowers in hand, is your boyfriend. he hears the door open and stands up abruptly.
“y/n, my love, i am so sorry. i truly cannot express how horrible i feel, and i cannot begin to understand how you feel.” he takes a deep breath, seemingly holding back tears. “i- i do love you. i love you more than i’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life. i know i’m not the best at expressing it, but you mean the world to me- no, you are my world. without you, i don’t know what i would do. so please-” his voice cracks, “just, please give me another chance?”
you run towards your boyfriend, practically tackling him. “kiyo, baby, of course. i love you too, you know? you just can’t do that anymore, yeah? you shouldn’t feel like you have the right to embarrass me just because you had a bad day. and please, don’t call me clingy? i know i do stick to you like glue sometimes, but that’s just because i never see you anymore.” you reply.
“that will all change, darling.” he answers sincerely, “i’ll make more time for you, i swear. in fact, i’ll take the week off, how does that sound?” at the sight of your smile, he relaxes.
“that sounds wonderful, yoomi.” you answer
sakusa feels the weight that’s been dragging him down lift and he realizes the effect you have on him- you’re his breath of fresh air. he also realizes how utterly idiotic it was to push away the one person who could make him feel better.
it’s fine, he reasons, he’ll just never make that mistake again. he swears it.
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3K notes · View notes
angelamajiki · 4 years
Text
[ peace treaty - part two ]
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AN: my first banner that I made for a fic!! Please enjoy and mind the tags as always!! :)
CW: yandere, noncon, loss of virginity, double penetration, coercion, gang bang, A/B/O dynamics, size difference, slight tummy bulge, cum stuffing, breeding
PART ONE
SYNOPSIS: The wedding to ensure peace for your kingdom was underway. Your alphas had been insistent that you met your new pack and give your virginity to them the night of your wedding. You could only wonder why.
The village of the Barbarian tribe was full of the hustle and bustle of wedding preparations being made for their leading Alphas and their newfound Omega mate. You could hear the rushing of bodies outside the tented den the pair kept you confined to. They were insistent on keeping you within their firm grasp, their watchful eyes at all times. It was exhausting, so say the least. The time spent in the village was theirs, not your own. Their tenderness almost made you forget the circumstances on which you fell into their laps. Almost.
Hardly anyone else in the village had seen you thanks to your red-headed mate. Dragons rarely let anyone but their pack near their hoard, and Eijirou was more than happy to declare you his most precious treasure of all, the centerpiece of his store. The hybrid was tempted to keep you with the rest of his treasures, but his other mate decided against it, demanding that you stay warm in the nest during the blistering winter that ravaged the mountain range.
They kept in the nest for as long as you would tolerate it, adoring the way you looked wrapped snuggly in the furs they had slain and prepared for you. The den was soon furnished with a small library for your curious mind, one of many wedding presents that your mates intended to spoil you with. Your mates were desperate for your approval, to preen and puff their chests in pride from your praise. In fact, one of the only times you were let out before the wedding was to watch wrestling matches between the Alphas of the clan and their leaders on the warmer days. It was a prominent display of strength, the pair hoping to impress their lovely mate with their fists and muscles. The other times, they had taken you to Eijirou’s cave to flaunt his hoard, which they welcomed you to take anything you liked from it as it was now yours too.
Winter flew by quickly. In those few months, preparations for your spring wedding were well underway as your mates took their agonizing time to stake their claim on you. The pair of them were insistent on waiting until the wedding night to be fully bonded but did not spare you any pleasure they wished to bestow you. The ecstasy they brought you night after night was earth-shattering, something you never even dreamed you could have achieved.
A spring wedding was to be had, and the wait was finally over. Your dress was designed of the most delicate silk hand-made in the tribe, dipped in beautiful red and gold dyes to match your mate's garments. Precious jewels and other gold jewelry was selected from the dragon's hoard by none other than Eijirou himself. Traditional paint was brushed onto your face and arms with expert craftsmanship, adorning your glowing skin with the clan's insignia and other symbols held dear to the Barbarians.
Meeting your mates down the aisle and finally being wed to them felt like a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. For months, you had worried that their threat to destroy your home would see to its fruition, but now that you're finally their wife and mate, the treaty had been completed. Perhaps your mates would be kind enough to let you see your family after the celebration.
Festivities were planned for days to celebrate the new queen and pack mate of the tribe’s leaders. Being out of the den and meeting the clansmen felt like a breath of fresh air after being secluded for those few months up until the wedding. You could only hope that your husbands would allow this new freedom to continue.
Food, drink, and dancing went well into the early morning hours before you decided it was time to retire to your den. Buzzing with anticipation, you let Katsuki lead you home with a scarred hand on the small of your back, reminding you just how small you were in comparison to your Alphas. Tonight was the night that you submitted utterly and entirely to your mates. It was overwhelming, almost enough to give you cold feet.
Upon returning to the tented den, you were met with your new pack, the Alphas that Eijirou and Katsuki introduced you to earlier that day during the ceremony. TestsuTetsu, leader of the clan’s warriors. Sero and Denki, leading blacksmiths and protectors of the armory. Izuku, also known as Deku, leading military strategist. And Hitoshi, the tribe’s mage.
The tent’s magic flaps had sealed themselves once you and your mates made it inside with the rest of the pack, who were already waiting for you. Unease had swelled in your gut as you saw the hungry gleams in all the Alpha's eyes. Did they have the intention to watch while you bonded with your mates?
“Be easy, my love.”
Eijirou’s hands came to your shoulders in an attempt to soothe you as he guided you to your nest.
“Although you will be our mate, you will still be the pack’s omega.”
You nodded slowly, having already understood that much, but it still didn't explain why the rest of the pack was suffocating the space of your den.
“That means you will have to form a bond with all of us. We intend to share you with the pack tonight.”
Panic filled your being as you stood up from the nest, only to be pinned down into the redhead’s lap with his powerful arms. His hands rubbed soothing circles in your arms as he felt you squirm in his hold.
“There’s no reason to be afraid, my queen!” Izuku piped up as he flashed a reassuring smile. “This is the best way to ensure that you will give healthy pups to the pack and the clan.”
Tears and pleas dribbled out as you thrashed in your Alpha’s arms, desperate to claw your way out of his grip and away from the new pack.
“Stop yer fussin’,” Katsuki grunted as he took his place next to the both of you. “We’ll be right here the whole time. Besides, it’ll be a good way for the pack to bond. We wouldn't want anything to happen to your territory, now would we?”
Chuckles filled the room as you sobbed in absolute terror.
“Please! I don't want this! Don't make me do this; I'm begging you!”
A fatal mistake on your part is that you forgot who these men were. Barbarians who snatched, steal, and take whatever they please, whenever they please. Your mates were capable of tenderness, but only when it seemed to benefit them. And it didn't at this moment.
Eijirou was quick to quell your cries as he stroked your hair gently while Katsuki tied your hands together. The redhead whispered sweet nothings in your ear in an attempt to soothe his lovely omega. You were practically hog-tied into your nest as the blonde ripped your dress to shreds with his magic, your struggling between the pair of them frustrating him deeply.
“Enough fucking around. Omega, submit.”
Unable to deny such a command, you went still under your overbearing husband. How quickly he changed once you truly denied him for the first time...it frightened you. The men around you tried to croon and calm, wanting to put your wailing cries at ease. You had barely been touched and you already felt violated by being naked and bound before your new pack. Oh, things you had to endure to protect your kingdom.
Katsuki was overzealous, eager to be the first to pop your cherry and finally feel the velvet of his omega’s hole. A searing mouth sealed itself over your clit as thick fingers worked you open. Your mate was relentless, fucking your hole with vigor as his tongue sucked and lapped against your clit. The wanton groaning of the other Alphas met your squeals and cries as you clenched around your mate’s fingers, wishing desperately to sink into your nest of furs and never return.
Eijirou kissed you deeply, stroking away your tears and holding your chin in his scarred palm. The other Alphas hands groped, massaged, and grabbed at your supple skin, leaving no inch untouched. All of them ignored your sobbing, electing to see past your suffering for the good of the pack.
“So beautiful.”
“What a great pick you two made.”
“Hurry up and mount her Kats! I want to get in there too!”
Your Alpha continued his brutal pace of finger fucking and suckling on your clit, groaning and grunting as he slurped at you greedily. A tight coil of pleasure built in your core as you helplessly moaned and cried into Eijirou’s mouth. Katsuki felt your impending orgasm and pulled his mouth away in favor of rubbing your clit hard and fast with his unoccupied hand. He chuckled, watching you squirm and squeal loudly before coming undone, squirting all over his chest in the process.
The Alphas jeered and praised you for a good show as Katsuki chuckled.
“Now that’s what I’m fuckin’ talking about. Good girl, little omega. Ready for knot?”
A wolfish grin cast on his features as he hiked your ankles up to his shoulders. Cock lines up with your still twitching whole; he sunk into your tight heat in one stroke of his hips. A breathy gasp left you as you were filled to the brink.
The pace he set with his thrusts was unforgiving; a bruising grip laid on your love handles as you were pounded into the nest, making a mess of the furs strewn across it. Snarls and grunts left your captor’s lips all the while. The other Alphas around you stroked their cocks heartily, eagerly waiting for their turns to have a go and breed their new pack omega. Squeals and cries of unwanted pleasure quickly filled your gut as you came again, forcing you to arch your back into the blonde’s chest. Overstimulation hit you like a freight train as your mate continued to chase his own pleasure.
Eijirou brushed the hair from your sweaty forehead and swiped gently at your tears, watching his two mates finally tie the knot and love each other in the most primal, intimate ways they knew. What a fine choice for a mate you turned out to be—loyal, lovely, loud. Your sobs and cries of pleasure were music to the dragon’s ears, adoring the way you shook and convulsed underneath the other Alpha. Toying with your nipples gently, he shushed your protests with a kiss and held his free hand to your throat, stroking the sides tenderly.
Katsuki, on the other hand, was practically feral, animalistic in his movements as he popped his knot into your tight cunt with a roar of your name. Ropes of hot seed painted your womb as he held you tightly in his arms, riding his orgasm out to completion.
Nothing but groans and pants could be heard for a few moments as your Alpha bent down to lay a claiming mark on the glands of your neck. He tore into the flesh with passion, leaving a trail of blood that dripped down your sweaty chest. Laving at the mark with his tongue, he sealed the bond and slurped up the blood. Extending his neck, he pushed your head into his crook.
“Bite, complete the bond.”
Like an obedient breeding bitch, you listened mindlessly, mind foggy with the haze of your orgasms.
After his knot had deflated, Eijirou moved to mount your sloppy hole.
“Guess the rest of you are getting my sloppy seconds,” Katsuki smirked, admiring the way his seed dripped from your now loose hole.
Eijirou was more tender than his counterpart, taking his time with his sweet, sweet lovemaking. Possessive and sweet nothings were moaned and groaned from him—bite marks littered your chest and mouth. His thrusts with slow and deep, wanting a slow build to both of your orgasms as he lavished you in his undivided attention. Kisses and bites were pressed sweetly to your lips, and his tongue tasted the salt of your skin.
Your whimpers and moans mingled with his deep, rolling groans while the others were content to watch such a passionate display of Eijirou’s adoration for his Omega. Laying his claim as he came, the knot popped the moment as he bit into your wrist, suckling at the wound he left behind. Even after he deflated, he cockwarmed you for a while so you could rest and have a much-needed drink of water.
After Eijirou’s cock slipped out of your cunt, the rest was a murky blur in your memory. Izuku followed your redheaded mate, losing himself quickly to the vice of your wet and sloppy pussy. He came rather quickly, apologizing for only finishing himself off. He had to, for the sake of pups, of course. Not that any of their words mattered to you, you were too drunk off the mating bonds your mates laid into your virgin skin.
TetsuTetsu succeeded Izuku, and much like Katsuki, he was an animal. Loud slaps of skin filled the den as he praised you for being such a good omega for your Alphas. Bear them your healthy pups like a good girl, won't you? His stamina was high, too high for your liking. Slipping in and out of consciousness, you barely made recognition to his knot swelling in your hole. He was by far the biggest of the pack. Another load pumped into the pack’s personal cumdumpster, but he made sure to make you squeal and squirt on his cock.
Any defiance in you had died by the time Sero and Denki speared you on their cocks. What they lacked in girth, they made up for in length. They both greedily stuffed themselves into your pussy at the same time, one rubbing your clit while the other tugged at your nipples. Only one knot caught inside you while Denki’s popped just below your clit, making an even bigger mess to your already sloppy pussy.
Finally, Hitoshi cast a fertility ward on your womb, marked by the pack’s emblem to ensure pregnancy and a healthy one at that. An average knot, he finished himself within your already full womb, a small bulge appearing in your gut because of it. A plug was stuffed inside you to keep the pack’s seed deep within your cunt, to ensure pregnancy of the pack’s pups.
Once the sun broke over the dawn of the mountains, the pack exited the tent to leave you to your Alphas. They spent the morning bathing and feeding you, wanting to pamper you after such an exciting yet stressful evening. The pair hoped you would come around to be shared by the pack; how else will they get you through your heats and their ruts? That's a problem for another day, they supposed.
After a long, well-deserved rest in a now cleaned nest, Eijirou was ecstatic to share the news of their newest surprise. A honeymoon! Oh, the places they planned to fly you to.
As you listened to their plans, you couldn't help but gaze off into the next morning’s sun, wondering if this life was worth it for the sake of peace.
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yourmcu · 4 years
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Forgotten (CONTINUED VERSION)
Pairings: Tony Stark x daughter!reader, Peter Parker x Stark!reader (platonic)
Request:
Hello i love your story could you do angsty tony x daughter reader. Wherein the reader has a twin brother and Tony and the avengers prefer the twin brother and becaus of that, the reader became rebel and badass. She always getting trouble and almost drop out student. The avengers and her father were seem disappointed and dont know what to do. Not until the reader involve into car accident and she's critical injured. The reader also slipped to coma. Everyone is devastated about the reader conditione. And they realized that the reader only rebel because she wants to get attention from them. It depends to you what the end come, I just want a full angst this week and I hope you dont mind my English. Anyway I hope your alright.
A/n: y’all wanted it, I finished it :)
Word count: 3,984
(more notes at the end!)
Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort? bad writing of an anxiety attack, accident, knife, hospitals
read it on ao3!
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gif not mine! credits to the owner^^
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Being a genius/billionaire/superhero’s kid doesn’t always sound nice like it usually does.
You were one of the Stark twins, the other half being your brother, Ethan.
The both of you showed signs that you inherited the commonly known Stark trait (intelligence) at a young age. But Tony mostly focused on his son, showing him all his inventions and gadgets, teaching him everything he knew while you on the other hand, were being babysat by Happy or Pepper, sometimes Rhodey.
You tried so hard to get your father’s attention but he always had his excuses:
“I don’t have time for that.”
“I’m busy with Ethan right now.”
“Maybe later.”
At first you didn’t mind if your brother got all the praise and attention. It wasn’t until your mid-teens that you really started to feel left out and ignored.
You were left to frown when the other Avengers never found anything interesting about you, just like Tony did. They all liked Ethan better. The topic of him being the next Iron Man when Tony retires is getting exhausting.
There was this one time when Tony announced that they were all going out to dinner since Ethan got, yet again, a full set of A’s on his report card.
“Did you get my card?” You tapped on Tony’s shoulder lightly.
He gave you a side glance, “ah shoot, I forgot. I’ll go get it tomorrow.” Then returned his attention to your brother.
But he ended up forgetting again the next day and you had to convince your teacher to give it to you instead. Your marks had A’s, but littered with B’s as well, of course that was no match for your brother’s perfect marks.
And that sort of scenario wasn’t just a one time thing, Tony forgets to pick up your report card every. single. time. The messed up part was you and Ethan literally attended the same school, he was just in a more advanced class than you.
As time passed, Tony went from ignoring you to getting annoyed and pissed at you for everything you did. In his eyes, you were always in the wrong. And the reason? You didn’t know.
“Dad? Can I borrow Bruce for a minute?” You knocked on the glass door of his lab to get him to look up.
He didn’t, but responded, “kinda busy with him right now.”
You looked at your fractured arm, regretting your decisions. “W-well, Ethan was training with Nat, and... and he wanted to try the new moves he learned on me. He went a little hard and - I think my arm’s broken, I just wanted Bruce to check it out-”
“Goddammit!” He shouted after you heard a glass shatter. Bruce covered his face with palms, muttering an ‘oh no’.
Tony glared at you, striding to where you were standing. All that was left for you to do was to brace yourself for what was about to come. “See, this is why we never let you do anything with the team,” he spat. “That right there?”-he pointed to your arm-“that’s on you. Things go wrong because you’re in the way!”
“I’m... I’m sorry-”
“Just get out of here.”
Your arm remained untreated after that.
Then Peter Parker came into the picture. Friendly guy, he was actually nice to you. Him and Ethan got along right away when Tony first recruited him. The fact that he treated Peter better than you made you even more miserable. It made you think he never wanted a daughter in the first place.
You first met Peter when he accidentally entered your room without warning, thinking it was the bathroom. Cliche, but that’s what happened.
“It’s on the first door to your other left,” you stated.
“Yeah, yeah okay, thanks,” he turned around to leave but stopped to look at you again. “I’m Peter Parker, by the way.”
“Y/N Stark.”
Peter’s eyes lit up at your last name. “I... I didn’t know Mr. Stark had a daughter - no offense! It’s just-”
You sighed and waved him off. He didn’t even notice the similarities you had with your twin. “It’s fine. I get that a lot.”
After many events of being, to be blunt, treated like shit, you finally had enough. You neglected your studies, only went to school when you felt like it (which was rare). No one cared your grades anyway, so what’s the point? You became a whole new person, you surrounded yourself with the wrong sort of people, causing you to dabble into smoking and alcohol.
Since you were always in trouble, you could recite Cap’s detention speech at school by heart now.
The principal of your school wanted to see Tony to talk about your behavior. Normally he’d make an excuse not to go if it wasn’t that important but he got flooded with messages from the school, so he couldn’t say no.
You had your legs crossed, sitting across from Tony who had his eyebrows furrowed as he listened to the principal. For some reason you didn’t feel nervous. “Y/N barely attends her classes. I’ve seen every attendance. Are you aware of this, Mr. Stark?”
Tony only maintained his usual relaxed posture and avoided your gaze.
“Some students have also seen her smoke in school grounds. We gave her a few weeks suspension for it, but it doesn’t look like she’s learned her lesson.” They pulled out a couple boxes of cigarettes from the desk drawer. “We found these in her locker.”
“You went into my locker?” You shot up from your seat. “You can’t just do that!”
Tony cleared his throat and got up, gripping your wrist. “I’ll take it from here - will that be all?”
On the way out he doesn’t say a word to you, only that his grip on your wrist got tight as you near the car.
“So,” he started the car. His voice was calm, but it screamed that you were in deep trouble. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
You sighed and slouched in the passenger’s seat, crossing your arms. “I’m... sorry you had to know...?”
“Yeah, I’m just gonna be honest with you here,” Tony still doesn’t look at you. “When I found out I had two kids, I got worried about Ethan.”
You let out a snort. Of course he would.
“I didn’t want him ending up like me. But surprise surprise, my daughter did instead.”
“I’m not ‘ending up’ like you, Dad-”
“Then what do you call - this,” he referred to you. “What, you’re just gonna waste your life, drop out of school? You’re a fucking mess, Y/N, and here I thought I raised you right. Sometimes I think: why can’t you just be like your brother?” He had a hard grip on the steering wheel as he drove, the way he spoke affected the speed of the car greatly.
You opened your mouth to speak but you couldn’t fine the exact words you wanted to say. “I... well, I’m sorry I’m not a goody two shoes like him!”
“That’s not what I-”
“Please, that’s exactly what you meant.”
He scoffed, shaking his head. “Look, I’m grounding you until you pull yourself together, understand?” And he did. He gave new orders to Friday when the both of you got home. You weren’t allowed to leave the compound without Tony’s permission.
Were you giving up that easily? Of course not.
You were on your laptop for the rest of the day, hacking into Friday’s system, the security to the elevator and the entrance. That night, your executed your plan and everything went smoothly.
“This is why you never underestimate me,” you sighed, deactivating the hack once you were out of the building.
Your friend who was picking you up was already waiting a few blocks away from the compound. “I hope you’re cool with me staying over for a couple days.”
“If a bunch of Avengers come and destroy my place to look for you, I’m not going to be friends with you anymore.”
You laughed at out, “oh trust me, they don’t care.”
----
The next day no one noticed your absence, nobody did for another two days. Tony just assumed you were mad about your punishment, so he didn’t think of it much.
Not until Peter came to the compound on the third day, wanting to hang out with you.
“Whatcha got there, Pete?” Ethan asked.
“Star Wars movies. I wanna watch them with Y/N - she could use some company, don’t you think?”
The older Stark twin shrugged, “yeah, I guess she could.”
Peter then headed to the elevator and stopped at the floor where your room was. He knocked on your door and waited a bit, after a few minutes of silence he knocked again, still nothing.
“Y/N? Is it okay if I come in?” He called out. No response. He hesitated a bit, for all he knew you were probably changing or something, or you could be in danger. He went to open the door anyway. “I’m coming in, I’ll close my eyes just to be-”
To Peter’s surprise, your room was empty.
----
You were at a 711 parking lot, waiting for your friends who were buying supplies for a house party. You gave them your wallet, not really caring about anything anymore. Your phone was starting to pile up with messages and missed calls from Tony, Edward and Peter, occasionally from the others as you scrolled pass more.
Without thinking you threw your phone to the ground, cracking the screen, breaking it completely. They’d be able to track you through it now that they know you ran away. You really had no intention of coming back. You weren’t wanted, what’s the point of going back?It’s early but you’ve had a few drinks already. You weren’t sure if breaking your phone was a good idea but there’s one thing you’re sure: you didn’t care anymore.
You didn’t have to turn your head to see who just arrived and ambushed your friends inside the store. They ran out and left you behind. The sound of webs coming out of his shooters was enough for you to tell.
“You shouldn’t be here, Peter,” you sighed defeatedly.
Peter gently took a seat next to you, not removing his mask since you were in public and handed your wallet back. “I don’t understand why you left.”
He took in your awful state. His suit scanned how intoxicated you were, estimated how many cigarette packets you’ve had. His frown deepened at the information.
“I care about you. We all do. Mr. Stark’s not going to stop the search party until you come home.”
You rolled your eyes at the term. “Stupid search party – pathetic – I’m not coming home anymore, Pete-” you slurred and tried to get up but stumbled back, almost twisting your ankle but fell to Peter’s side. “Ow.”
He sighed, struggling to get ahold of you since you always pulled away.
“Stop being so stubborn, okay?”
“If you don’t like my stubborn fucking ass then maybe you should just leave,” you stated. “I’m not wanted there. I got the message. I didn’t run away just to be fucking found.”
Peter stared at you for a moment. He didn’t know why you got grounded in the first place, how you got here and why you didn’t want to go back home. There was something off in the father-daughter relationship, he knew that, but it was news to him that it was that bad. That bad for you to waste your life, to run away. He always thought Mr. Stark was an awesome parent, the way he was treating Ethan, and him…
“It’s unfair,” you ranted. “God, if you only knew how pathetic I feel whenever he tells me off. I’m always annoying to him - not just to him, to the whole team, I’m always wrong in everything I do and it’s honestly tiring? What the fuck do I have to do just to feel loved and wanted?”
You went on rambling while Peter tried to comfort and deny every negative thing that came out of your mouth. He didn’t believe any of it, but the way everyone’s been treating you. He hated that he didn’t notice sooner. He could’ve defended you.
“I have nothing against you, I really don’t,” you sighed. “But you should be grateful they’re treating you perfectly.” You got up and strode to the opposite direction, mentally cursing because your friends ditched you and you has nowhere to go, phone destroyed and everything.
But you were staying true to your word: you didn’t have any plans to go back to the compound. You were going to figure your life out on your own.
“Y/N, I… I’m not leaving you alone out here!”
You were so fed up of the spider-ling. How good he was, how perfect, how Tony clearly wanted him more than you, how he always wanted to do the right thing, because none of you expected what happened next when he went to grab your shoulder. The action was so sudden that it Peter didn’t have time to avoid it.
Knife, shoulder, really deep.
Maybe it was just how wasted you were, because he knew you would never do anything like that.
“You’re really annoying, Parker,” you muttered, not wasting any more time watching him stumble out of shock and pain, sprinting across the streets.
With his uninjured arm, he shot webs while trying to pull the knife (the blade wasn’t even visible anymore on how deep it was) out of his shoulder. There was a loud bang, and Peter never sprinted so fast in his life, not caring less about the pain and blood, because what mattered most was your safety. When he got there, you were far from safe.
-----
A week went by. And during those seven days Tony was on edge, I mean, how can be calm at a time like that?
Peter managed to show up at the compound the same night, breathless and shaky. His state made everyone worried but he wasted no time telling Tony what happened. He got you to the hospital, making sure you were being sorted out right before leaving to break the news.
Tony didn’t think twice and went to the hospital where you were admitted, not listening to Peter’s apologies and leaving Steve to sort everyone out on what they should do.
They didn’t expect you to show signs of waking up after only a week since the accident got you mangled up, it was mostly a blow to the head and as expected, you slipped into a coma.
Right, what happened: an awful timing really, not sure if Peter’s the one to blame but he accidentally stuck you to the ground with his webs, and it just so happened a car was driving at a fast speed – there you go.
Tony made sure you got the best treatment possible. He even went and asked Strange if he could do all the surgeries needed, but he declined, claiming he couldn’t anymore despite the sympathy he felt inside. Instead he asked the best doctors he knew, but still helped out sometimes in any way he could.
You took a breath, trying to open your eyes but the blinding lights of your room and them almost feeling as if they were glued shut from not being open for so long prevented you. You also tried moving your hands, only to feel a warm one rest on top of it, you finally opened your eyes.
“You’re awake,” Tony mumbled, rubbing a thumb on the back of your palm soothingly. “You’re awake and you’re okay.”
“Mr. Stark?” Peter called out, spotting his mentor sitting outside the room where they were doing the final surgery on you. It was his first time visiting, seeing as the knife wound was worse than he thought. “I’m so sorry, I-“
“What happened?” Was the only thing Tony said, not looking up to look at the kid. Peter stood there for a moment but told him everything that happened.
After that and after he made sure you were okay, resting in your room and everything, he let Natasha look after you for the night and headed back to the compound.
The kid would never lie to him but he had to see it all for himself. The Spider-Man suit caught everything through the baby monitor protocol. From when he arrived to the convenient store, when you told him countless of times that you weren’t coming back, and when your drunk self ranted about what you felt.
“What the fuck do I have to do just to feel loved and wanted?”
“He seemed to like both of us equally when we were younger,” you sniffled. “Of course he would, but… my brother just turned out to be special and talented and,” you frowned, “he’s all Tony ever wanted for a kid. Maybe I reminded him of the chick he fucked, I don’t know – must be it, right?”
“Y/N, you’re just as special as-” Peter tried to reason but you threw him a glare. Tony could see the pain and heartbreak in your bloodshot, tired eyes. One that said you didn’t want to hear anything like it anymore. You didn’t want to believe it.
“The thing is, they only want you when you’re gone. Missing. Dead,” you shrugged. “I can take a hint, you know? My only family hates me. My only family doesn’t want me. Now you – all of them – are looking for me… why?” Peter flinched at the loudness of your voice. You truly were broken.
Tony fast forwarded, it didn’t clearly show how you got hit, but he had enough anyway. He wanted to make things right with you. He could only hope that you make pass this, hoping that you’ll let him make it up to you.
“It’s not too late, you know,” Steve said from the entrance to his lab. “Y/N is strong. She’ll make it.”
“Why am I not dead?” You croaked, looking at your father with an anxious expression. You letting out another shaky breath as you struggled to move and look around. “I should be dead. Why am I here-”
“Take it easy-”
“Don’t you understand?” You felt your throat aching, breath quickening. “I don’t want to be here!”
“No, you’re okay. Y/N you’re okay,” Tony tried to calm you down when he saw the lines in your heart monitor go up and down in rapid pace. 
“I’m not - no I’m not - not okay,” you struggled to let out. It felt like you were choking on your own breath, getting harder and harder to breathe by the minute, soon tears started to prick your eyes. “I don’t want to be here!”
“Tony, what's going on?” Steve bursted into the room with an alarmed but calm expression.
“Call Strange. Anyone.” He told the captain but his eyes never left you. He rubbed a part of your arm that wasn’t injured soothingly in attempt to calm you down. “Just breathe for me, okay? I’m here and you’re okay.”
Something about the softness and encouraging look in his eyes made you nod eventually and follow his breathing patterns. He held a glass of water for you to drink, holding your struggling hand softly to get it out of the way.
He’s never looked at you like that before.
Most of the time he ignored you, most of the time he looked at you at anger or annoyance when you’ve fucked something up.
“There we go, we okay now?” You looked away and nodded lightly. That was enough for him. Tony wanted to let you know how sorry he was so bad, but thought against it, at least for now. He was scared you might start freaking out again.
Stephen entered the room with the doctor, the other Avengers following closely behind. The amount of people in the room overwhelmed you a bit, but you were strangely calm because of how your father’s acting. Soft and caring, it made you feel safe.
Both doctors concluded that you had some sort of amnesia. In English, your past memories were blotchy, all of them even from your childhood. Again because of the blow to the head it was already expected. But you remembered the recent ones clearly, which was the reason why you avoided looking at Peter and his patched up arm.
Which also meant it was possible you didn’t remember all of the pain you felt concerning your family. It was unfair on your part.
Strange insisted that you stay a few more days, or one more week, just to run tests and make sure you get enough medicine and stuff.
They decided to see how bad your memory loss was.
“I did that to you,” you still refused to look at Peter completely. “I’m sorry, Peter.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay.” Peter gave you a smile.
You moved to the next person. Red hair, seemed to give off a friendly but civil nature. “Natasha? You’re Natasha.”
The Russian merely smiled and crossed her arms.
“Steve,” you stated, moving to the next person. “You always read old books in the kitchen.”
Steve chuckled, nodding to confirm.
“Ethan,” you smiled as you looked at your twin. He gave you a small wave even if he felt as guilty as Tony about everything even if he wasn’t the one to blame.
You stared longer at the next person, almost shoulder length dark brown hair, he’s wearing a jacket to cover his metal arm but you knew it was still there.
“Ducky?”
Peter let out a giggle, so did you brother.
“It’s Bucky, doll,” Bucky smiled, covering his face with his hand to suppress a chuckle as the rest laughed.
“Oh, right, I’m sorry,” you let out a weak giggle yourself.
You meet Tony’s eyes again, the softness still there.
“Dad,” you stated. “You’re my dad. Tony.”
No, you didn’t completely forget how he treated you. You knew he was annoyed with you, which lead you to think that you did something that made him act that way. “Am I bad?”
Tony’s hopeful expression dimmed. “What do you mean, sweetheart?”
You shrugged. “You’re mad at me, I just… I guess it’s just not clear on why.”
Steve thought it would be best for everyone to head out for a bit so he ushered everyone out of the room except for your brother who took a seat at the corner.
“About that, it’s about time we talked, yeah?” Tony sat on a chair backwards beside your bed. It made you nervous, but you were reassured. “You’re not in trouble, don’t worry.”
He exhaled, resting an arm on the top rail. “You deserve so much better. I should’ve treated you better,” you opened your mouth to ask but he continued. “Look, I haven’t been fair with you and it’s a problem. You’re smart, talented and beautiful. I figured you needed to hear it more often because it’s true. What I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry. I really am.”
Your bottom lip involuntarily trembled. “You – you really mean that?”
“From the bottom of my heart.”
You sighed, a genuine smile plastered on your face. “Thank you. And I’m sorry if I was a pain in the ass-“
“You never were,” Tony shook his head. “You always did your best and I really should have acknowledged it more. Give me a second chance?”
“Of course.”
Tony smiled, getting up and planting a gentle kiss to your forehead.
Everything in life was so much better after all that. Tony treated you and Ethan equally, same goes for Peter. The other Avengers were nicer, not the kind of nice that was almost fake, but it was genuine. All of them were. And you were thankful.
----
TAGLIST: @contanto-que-voce-me-queira @angeldreineedshelp @legendarymcnuggies @zoeyserpentluck @vienmiaprendere @alainabooks143 @hessogxlden
DID ANYONE MISS ME? BC I MISSED THIS PLACE
I highly doubt anyone’s still waiting for this, it was an unplanned hiatus I’M SO SORRY but I decided to post anyway :))
also I hope this wasn’t underwhelming, that’s one of the reasons why I was hesitant to do this but I hope its good heh (I’ve included the parts from my first post as well, just so it feels like a full fic)
WAIT I ALSO HIT 300 FOLLOWERS? INSANE. THANK YOU. I MEAN IT.
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mindofharry · 3 years
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In which bucky and you are hooking up and he doesn’t appreciate you until you’re gone.
angst!! so much angst!! swearing, bucky saying stuff he doesn’t mean and a whole lot of crying. feedback is welcome as always <3
roughly based around the time the falcon and the winter soldier meet up again :D enjoy, lovers!
losing you masterlist.
You met Bucky just after he moved into the apartment block. He looked pretty lost and you, being you, decided to lend a helping hand and help out a neighbour.
You did not expect him to end up in your bed the next morning.
It was unexpected and kind of childish, but he made your heart pound and your lips to as red as a cherry. Bucky barnes had you wrapped around his finger before he even knew your name, he just had that kind of charisma. You wanted to be around him all the time, be more than just the causal hook up. Not just someone he calls when he needs to let off steam. You want to be it for him. Bucky is unpredictable and stubborn, but you were sure you could fix him or at least help him onto a better path.
He just wouldn’t let you in.
You’d have sex, and then he’d kick you out. He wouldn’t even let you stay the night. Which at first you didn’t really care about as he would always greet you with a smile and walk you to the local bar. Bucky would have actual conversations with you, that was only for a week. The sex got more hot, more steamy and a lot more fucking rough. He didn’t greet you in the morning, not even a smile and he most definitely didn’t walk you to the bar anymore. He said it was a waste of his time.
You’re a confident person, you don’t usually let people like bucky barnes hurt you this much.
But he was so much more than a hook up to you, you loved him.
It was wednesday, so that means when bucky is done with his lunch he’d text and you’d meet him at his apartment. That’s what happens every wednesday and you never question it. Why would you? A strapping man like bucky wants you in some way. You’re not going to let it go because you have feelings for him.
It might be a little selfish, but you loved him too much.
You made yourself something to eat and watched some downtown abbey to calm yourself down. Bucky liked it when you were chill and not your usual bubbly self. You’ve changed yourself completely for this man. You hope it’s all worth it in the end.
After eating and relaxing for a bit, you decide to shower and get ready for buckys. You want to look nice, show him what he’s missing.
You wash your body with multiple shower gels, and decide to shave your legs - which really, you didn’t want to it’s a lot of effort and you’re just not in the mood today. But if bucky likes it, you’ll do it.
He mentioned once while you were in bed that he loved how smooth your legs are. So you shaved them before every hook up.
“You’re amazing” You reminded yourself, putting on your mascara. The make up will only come off, but again you want to make a good and lasting impression on him. You never used to wear makeup, just a bit a blusher and the occasional gloss. But bucky likes it. It’s always about what bucky likes and dislikes. Your mother would be so disappointed in you.
You shake your head to get rid of those thoughts and walk into your room. This time you pick something you want to wear. Opening up your closet you pull out your flowery, summery, dress that got at a marker in spain. Your family flew there and spent the summer in a nice little villa. It was the only bit of a peace you felt. When you came home, it felt like everything you left behind came crashing down.
Maybe that’s why you depend so much on bucky. You never wanted to be that person, but bucky makes it so hard. And you’re definitely not blaming him for you becoming so attached, you’re definitely the one to blame. But bucky is just, he’s just this great guy.
Or at least he was.
You get it, he lost a lot of people in the blip and after the blip. You lost people too. But it obviously affected him more, so you’re cutting him some slack.
Even if he doesn’t really deserve it.
After getting dressed and making yourself look some what presentable you text bucky to let him know you’re on the way to his apartment - it was only a 30 second walk, but you know he liked his privacy, so you warn him each time.
There was no response. As per usual, you thought rolling your eyes. You strolled down to his apartment taking your time, the weather looked nice enough. Maybe you’ll go for a walk after this, you know you won’t be staying long in buckys home.
You knock on the door, looking down at your phone. Still no messages. Now this, was surprising. Even if he didn’t text he’d always let you know in some way if he couldn’t make it. Bucky may be a dick, but he’d never leave you waiting.
You wait outside for a minute and contemplate leaving, but your hear footsteps walking towards you. You look over and see the man you love.
Bucky Barnes.
And he did not look happy. Angry, frustrated and confused maybe, but not happy. Usually he’s in a good mood after meeting up with his little friend for lunch. Did something happen? You don’t want to pressure him, but you need him to know you’re always there for him.
You were snapped out of your thoughts when bucky stepped infront of you, his eyebrows furrowed and scowl on his face.
“What are you doing here?” He asked fishing out his keys. You start to get annoyed, this man is really testing you. But you push that feeling down and put a smile on your face, placing a hand on his shoulder. Bucky shrugged it off, the smile fell off your face. Bucky noticed, but didn’t say anything.
“I’m busy today” He said putting the key into the door, trying to open it. He obviously put the wrong one in, frustrating him even more.
“We always meet up on wednesdays, and i did text you. But you never replied so i just assumed” You said, messing with the hem of your dress.
You wish he’d compliment you.
“Well you assumed wrong and i need you to leave. Got a date tonight” He said finally opening up his door. Your heart broke, it actually felt like it shattered into a million different piece. A date? With another person? Fuck, you didn’t think this far ahead. You thought that one day he would just realise. That it’s been you, you’re the one he wants. But obviously you were wrong.
You were wrong about a lot of fucking things.
But you put a brave face on and walked into his apartment, closing the door behind you. Again, you didn’t want to intrude but you needed to know how serious this date is. You need to know if this is the end of you and bucky.
Bucky sighed as he saw you standing in his hallway, he looked exasperated. Like you were a chore he forgot about or had been putting off. He looked at you like you were exhausting. Maybe you are. You should’ve never agreed to this hook up, friends with benefits shit. It always ends badly.
“Y/N, i said you need to leave” Bucky said placing a hand over his eyes. You nodded and instead of leaving you sat beside him. Bucky looked over at you and you’ve never seen him angrier.
“Are you deaf?” he asked and you flinched at his tone. “I have a date, and i need you to get the fuck out of my house” Bucky said and you sighed standing up.
“You’re an asshole” You mumbled and bucky stood up as well.
“You don’t say that when i’m balls deep in you” He replied, placing a hand on your cheek. He wasn’t rough when he grabbed you, but it did scare you a bit.
“This was just sex Y/N. Nothing more. You’re not my type, you’re too exhausting and tiring for me. I’m not interested in that sort of shit. Get the hell out of my home” Bucky said sternly letting go of your face. You searched his eyes for any sign of remorse or guilt, but nothing. He looked proud of himself really.
You sighed to yourself and wiped under your eyes. This is it. Fuck, ok don’t cry Y/N.
“I hope you enjoy your date” You said walking past him.
“Oh, I will” he smirked, watching as you left his apartment. You held back a sob as you ran to your apartment, ignoring on the stares and pitiful looks. You needed to leave the place.
You called your mom and told her the whole story and surprisingly she wasn’t disappointed.
“I could never be disappointed in you, baby. look at you, you’re amazing” Your mom said making you giggle. “That man doesn’t know what he just lost. a great friend is one of them. Now, men aren’t something you should be crying over. Go get yourself freshened up and then relax. You deserve it, honey” She said and you nodded to yourself, sitting up on your bed.
The tears were almost instant. Your mother hated to hear you cry. She lived so far away, and you just needed her hugging and cooking to make all of this pain go away. Heartbreaks are normal, their natural and everyone goes through it. It just hurts even more when the person you love the most doesn’t love you back.
“I love him” You admitted and your mom sighed. You could tell that she hated this too. “I met him when he was kind to me, he would walk me to the bar sometimes work too” You said and tried to stop the tears, but they just kept coming. “He was sweet. He would cuddle with me and not throw me out of his home. And he would listen, he would listen to anything i had to say” You sobbed.
“What did i do wrong? What did i do to make him hate me, mom?”
Your mother let out a pained sound. She just wanted to hug you and tell you everything would be ok.
“You did absolutely nothing wrong. This is all on him, honey. He didn’t appreciate what he had. He took advantage of your kindness and love towards him. You did nothing wrong. Never blame yourself for something like this.” She said quickly and groaned.
“I’ve gotta go” You said, and before your mom could get a word in you hung up and threw your phone against the wall.
Another thing to get fixed.
You did actually have work; but you decided you would get anything productive done. So giving yourself the day off would be good. Sit around, pig out and do not think of bucky barnes.
That lasted all of 5 minutes.
You’re now watching the notebook and didn’t get through 5 minutes of it without thinking of bucky. It’s not like you guys did actual couple things. Why are you so upset? Because you loved him, you idiot.
And now you have to get over him. If he was going on dates, you would too. If he was sleeping with other people, you would too. It’s time bucky barnes got a taste of his own medicine.
A week went by where you through yourself back into work and focused on catching up with old friends. During the day you didn’t think once about bucky, but when you got home that’s when the sob fests start. You’re pretty sure your neighbours can hear you, you feel a little bad.
Wednesday came and you didn’t once check your phone - one because it was smashed and you could barley see the screen, and two because you’re not going to be that girl anymore. You’re come to terms with the fact that bucky wasn’t for you, and although your heart is still very, very broken.
You’re doing better. You’re getting there.
On the other side of the apartment block, bucky barnes was not getting there or doing ok. You hadn’t texted him in a over a week, that’s a new record for you. Usually you send him memes or little reminders randomly. But there’s nothing, he’s been staring at his phone screen for far too long waiting for you to text.
He sighed and began typing.
‘ Hey, it’s bucky. Wondering if we’re still on for tonight? X ‘
He sent it and then put his phone down, turning on his tv. The date he went on was a bust. The girl wasn’t you, he figured that out pretty quickly. It’s not the girl wasn’t good looking or anything and she was nice enough, he just couldn’t stop comparing her to you. Y/N wouldn’t get the drink or Y/N wouldn’t sit that far away, or Y/N wouldn’t totally flipped that jackass off. He left abruptly in the middle of the date because he couldn’t handle it anymore. He couldn’t handle not being with you, and that, to him was a problem. Bucky hadn’t been this dependent on a person since steve.
And steve left.
Bucky was just protecting himself, but while he was doing that - he hurt you. Immensely. He put you through so much pain in after this relationship. It was barley even a relationship, but it hurt just as much.
10 minutes went by, and there was still no response. You didn’t even read the message. Now he knows how you feel. Instead of waiting a little longer, bucky decided to just go to your apartment instead. He strolled down the hall and knocked on your door. Your neighbour came out of his home. Bucky nodded his way, the man only tutted at him.
“Poor girl” The man mumbled walking away leaving bucky confused. He shook it off and knocked again, this time you finally answered. You looked beautiful. You were wearing a tight, red dress showing all of your curves off you hair was straightened and you weren’t wearing any make up - you still looked behind beautiful.
“Bucky....” you said with furrowed brows.
“I texted but there was no reply” He said walking into your apartment and taking off his jacket. He grinned and put his hands on your hips. You were even more confused, did he just forget about last week? What he said to you?
“Did you get dressed up all for me?” He asked you cleared your throat moving back so his hands would fall off you, bucky looked at you with a scowl.
“What’s up?” he asked moving his hands to your cheeks, you remembered how he grabbed you the last time and you flinched. Bucky froze for a second and dropped his arms to his side. Something was obviously wrong.
“I’m going on a date, bucky” You said and buckys world stopped for a second. A date? With who? This can not be happening.
“Whatever we have going on, it’s done. So i don’t know why you’re here” You said walking into your room to finish getting ready, you needed to find your black heels.
You met this guy at work, and you really hit it off. So when he asked for a date, you didn’t hesitate. You were putting you first, like you should’ve been doing all along.
“Done?” Bucky asked following you, you nodded and shrugged your shoulders. “You made it pretty clear last week” You said and bucky sighed rolling his eyes. “So this is about the date?” He said and you didn’t reply.
“It’s about what you said to to me, bucky. You’re selfish and mean. And i deserve better”
Bucky sat down on the end of your bed beside you. He knew what he was doing, you were an easy lay. Bucky hates himself for breaking your heart, god knows he broke his own letting you go and saying those awful words to you. You do deserve better.
“So with that being said, i think it’s time for you to leave”
And this time, it was you kicking bucky out of your bed.
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skiyoosmi · 4 years
Text
post-break up heartaches
verse 1. in the car that used to drive us to our home
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⤷ kuroo tetsurou, oikawa tooru — more characters coming soon
⤷ verse 2 | verse 3
⤷ play. never let me go by ghostly kisses, forget about us by clinton kane
commissions: open
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⇢ KUROO sighs for the umpteenth time of the day. he was so fucking exhausted and his body's about to give in to sleep any moment now. work has been beating his ass; there was this newbie who kept on messing up the documents needed by the board and for the whole day, he had to be the one to fix said issues. it's not like he wasn't paid enough for that; if anything, his paycheck was one of the most beautiful things he laid his eyes on— but god, even his body has its own limits and yet...
"ya.... yer not supposed to do this anymore. y-ya left me, remember?" you slurred, index finger pointing right at his chest as he circled his arms around your waist, huffing as you practically dropped all your weight on him. here he was, suddenly given the task of having to take you home after your supposed-to-be designated driver, miya fucking atsumu, also drank his brains out with you.
"be patient. still heartbroken because of you, y'know?" kenma softly tells him despite the tipsy feeling lurking in the back of his mind, shaking his head as he looked at you, whose system finally shut down and were now dozing off in the black haired man's arms.
"..... still?" he mumbles, looking down at your figure and he feels his heart contract with pain all over again.
"you can't expect her to be fine immediately, kuroo. it was your wedding day, supposed to be the greatest day of her life and yet it became the worst one... you left her at the altar alone."
he didn't reply anything— or rather, he was unable to. because what can he say to refute the truth? nothing. instead, he proceeded to his car with you still in his hold. he places you on the passenger seat, locking the seatbelts before jogging to the driver's side.
the car ride was calm as you slept soundly with your head occasionally hitting the window lightly as it swayed from side to side. he was sure as hell that if you were sober right now, you wouldn't even have the thought of seeing him cross your mind. he just knows for sure that you despise him with your whole being... at least, that's what he thought until...
"i'm sorry, tetsu. please come back," you whimper in your seat, voice quiet but he heard it nonetheless, "tell me what i did wrong so i can fix it."
the pitiful sounds and mumbles you made struck kuroo right in the heart and which makes him pull over an empty but safe road, just a block away from your (previously shared) apartment. looking over your form, he finds himself reaching out to touch your face, caressing your cheeks as drops of tears fell down slowly on them, "you didn't do anything wrong. you were fine. you were so perfect."
you squint your eyes at him, probably wondering if this was real or just a part of your drunken imagination. nonetheless, you hiccuped, "y-you... you left me and i... i still can't even bring myself to hate you... i just wanna ask you why? i just want to understand."
he thought he also knew the reason why but every single time he thinks about it, he's only led to one conclusion: because he was a coward. no way was this any of your fault— it's definitely not your fault that right at that moment, as he stared at the mirror, wearing the black suit you chose for him, the sudden fear of commitment loomed over him. it's not like it was your fault he suddenly got scared of losing you the way his parents lost each other. but now he thinks it's ironic, because he lost you anyway.
maybe... just maybe, if he had just met you where you stood at the altar, instead of leaving you alone in it, maybe he would've been happier. maybe his days would've started more with a smile from you as you helped him fix his necktie before going to work. maybe, the working hours he spends in the shitty corporate world would've been more worth it if it meant he can come home to you at the end of the day. maybe... maybe he wouldn't have to be stuck with this lump in his throat as he wonders what could've been happening if he just chose to show up and vowed his life to you.
but he didn't.
"i realized i wasn't just ready to tie my life with anyone yet. that's all there is to it, yn."
so with a heavy feeling stuck in his chest and a quiet promise to never see you again for the sake of not hurting you further, he starts the car's engine again, ignoring the words you replied but he was sure they will haunt him for a very long time... again.
i can wait for you no matter how long it takes, tetsu, you know that.
⇢ OIKAWA gives you what seems like a guilty smile as he stands in front of you, opening his arms and gesturing you to come closer. but the stoic expression on your face takes him back to the reality that the last thing you wanted to do today was to actually fetch him from the airport. it just so happens that his three best friends were caught up with work that they had no choice but to send you, the main ex-bestfriend slash ex-girlfriend, to him.
why did you agree when you practically loathe him with your whole being? well, it was probably because you weren't the devil who would reject your friends when they were literally on their knees as they begged you and for some reason, you thought he'll look pitiful going back to his home country after five years with no one to welcome him. yeah, that's it. it's not like you're still in love with him or anything.
"my car's just around the corner," you begrudgingly walk towards the car park with him quietly following. at the moment, he knew better than to get on your nerves or else there would be war. he hates that this happened to the both of you but he can't blame anyone else but himself. because who wouldn't hate their ex-boyfriend if they suddenly broke up with them over a phone call?
tension filled the car as you both sat beside each other. perhaps, this was what other people were talking about when they say that it's impossible for exes to be friends again, to not feel any awkwardness because you were sure as hell that the word "awkward" was an understatement of your situation right now. nevertheless, your eyes couldn't help but wander to his figure as he adjusted his body, opting for a more comfortable position in the passenger's seat.
he looked more youthful and you felt bittersweet— proud that his whole aura screams of "success" which meant that gone were the days where he longed to get that winter cup trophy, nor the times when he overworked himself and put a strain on his knee which led to countless arguments with you. if anything, he looked happier and it sucks because you're not even close to feeling that way... not without him.
"i heard you've finally gotten yourself your own condominium? that's great, yn!" he exclaimed as soon as you began driving to your destination, a hope lit within him that maybe you might just respond to him. just one smile, that's all i need, he thinks.
but you remain focused on your driving, choosing to reply with a single nod and a soft "yeah..."
disappointment fills his heart as he faces the truth that your relationship has really been ruined, along with your friendship. all because he was foolish to think that he couldn't handle the physical distance between you two. realization dawns upon him that he just made that same distance worse as you pull your heart further away from him.
"... i actually bought it for the two of us, you know?" he whips his head to your direction in surprise, heart clenching as he watch you let out a sad chuckle, "i just... i thought it would be nice if we had a place to permanently stay at and for you to have a home to go to when you're at japan. but yeah... i guess things doesn't go our way sometimes, does it?"
"i'm sor—"
"it's okay. i'm fine now," you quickly reply, shaking your head but keeping your eyes on the road. he tries to ignore the tears that start to form in them because he has no right to stop them, knowing full well that he was the one who caused them in the first place.
as if on cue, you halt your vehicle in front of a familiar apartment and much to your dismay, you find yourself looking back in the past when you used to live in that same place, making wonderful memories with the chocolate haired lad with you. you clear your throat to stop the sob that desperately attempts to escape your throat, "uhm... we're here."
"oh, yeah. we're here," he numbly states, already missing you despite the mere inches of space separating the two of you. you just felt so far away and he hates it. but this was the path he chose so he gets out of your car along with his things, turning to you once more, "uhh... thanks for the ride, yn. i know you probably hate me but yeah... it's very nice of you to put that past us and i guess i just want to say sorry for hurting you... i just..."
"i don't hate you, tooru," you softly tell him, "i just don't want anything to do with you anymore. to see you this happy, without me, is like a slap in the face because i'm not. it still hurts and i'm not fine. i just hope this will be the last time we'll see each other. be safe on your trip back to argentina. welcome home."
and with that, you start the car's engine again, no longer having the energy nor the strength to hear his reply. but he wishes you did because as he watches your car drive further away from him, he can't help but wish that he can take back time so that you don't have to go to that condominium and instead, go inside the home you once shared with him.
but i'm not happy, yn. because how could i call this place my home when you're not here with me?
at that moment, unbeknownst to the two hearts that long for each other break at the same time, you finally let out the tears and cries that you've been keeping since you saw him, knowing that no matter how much you try, you'll never be as happy as you were with him— simply because he left you with a hole in your heart that no one else can fill.
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© SKIYOOSMI, 2021. reposting, translating, editing, copying and any kind of plagiarism are strictly prohibited, thank you.
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ptergwen · 4 years
Text
love is more than a word
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w/c: a very ouch 3.6k
warnings: so so so much angst and an unhealthy (ish) relationship
summary: after nearly four years together, peter has stopped trying
a/n: listen y’all i don’t know what came over me when i made this but i think it’s the saddest thing i’ve ever written? uh try to enjoy tho
-
you never thought this would happen, but you’re getting tired of peter. it isn’t your fault. that cliche it’s not you, it’s me line doesn’t apply here.
at first, you actually did find yourself believing the it’s me part. you’d came to the conclusion that you expect too much from peter. he goes to class, he works, patrols, sometimes parties, takes you out when he can. he’s got a lot going on for a full time college student, which is a busy life to lead on its own.
it’s why you don’t complain when he wants to spend the night in and order a pizza instead of cooking together like you’ve been wanting to try. it’s why every time your friends ask you two to hang, you have to reluctantly explain that peter is passed out at eight o’clock on a saturday.
there’s a lazy “wanna make out?” some nights, if peter isn’t yawning when he steps through the front door. even that has lost its enjoyment. kissing peter doesn’t give you the rush it used to, the taste of his strawberry chapstick not flooding your senses and intoxicating you. it’s become predictable. comfortable. boring.
peter is boring.
you’ve slipped into unspoken routine. say your hello’s, work on separate assignments in different rooms. peter eventually yells something like “babe, you hungry yet?” across the apartment, his passive way of asking you to make dinner. you usually order takeout because why make an effort if he doesn’t?
you might watch one of the ten movies peter has liked since before the start of your relationship. he’ll usually fall asleep during it. no surprise there. his overpacked schedule exhausts him, which you’ve talked to him about spreading himself too thin. peter is too nice and can’t say no, so this is where it leaves him.
the main reason you’ve stayed with him is that he can’t take care of himself. he’s clueless about paying the bills, sorting his laundry, simply remembering to drink water. peter wouldn’t be able to go a week without you. he even says it himself.
“crap, i totally forgot about these,” when you picked up his special ordered textbooks from your school library. “can food go in the garbage disposal?” a rare time you didn’t wash the dishes. “thank you, y/n/n. you’re literally a lifesaver,” whenever you do a task for him that someone in their 20s shouldn’t need assistance with.
you didn’t used to mind much. he watches over the city every night. you felt you should return the favor. spider-man could use some help, too. after the almost four years you’ve been together, peter has become completely dependent on you. it only got worse when you moved in together your junior year. you’re concerned how he’ll manage later in his adult life.
you’d think he’d be a little more passionate about your relationship considering how much he needs you. you know peter still loves you, of course he does. that’s not what the problem is. he’s become content with the mutual feeling, so he doesn’t try anymore. he expects the spark to keep itself lit.
no more random joke of the day texts that he used to send you. he stopped surprising you with your coffee order in the morning, the one that he memorized the first time you two went to a starbucks. what you initially found most endearing about peter was that he remembered every little thing you told him.
he put whatever energy he had into showing you that he listened. he’d do it all with rosy cheeks and that toothy smile of his. it seems now like he’s under the impression that being in a long term relationship means none of that matters anymore. there’s no need to impress you, keep you guessing, make you feel special.
tonight is your breaking point. as you go over all of this in your head while peter lays peacefully next to you, you can’t take it. you’ve been making so many excuses for him. you lie to yourself. you’re desperate to believe this is okay and normal and you can work this out, and you can love whatever version of him this is.
but, you can’t. you can’t do it. you need to tell him now because if you sleep on this, you’ll end up feeling bad and be stuck under these suffocating blankets forever.
“peter?” you whisper his name, your back turned to him in bed. you haven’t cuddled each other to sleep in a while. his arms don’t make you feel held now, they make you feel trapped. you’ve been forcing yourself to ignore his look of hurt when you reject his open embrace.
“peter?” you speak louder after a moment of silence, except for his occasional snores. a loud one escapes him before they stop altogether. his eyes stay shut as he mumbles out a, “uh... huh?” your heart is thudding through your entire body. you take a breath in from your nose. “i wanna break up.”
the breath you let out next is one of relief, those three words that have been scratching your throat for months finally out. peter slowly turns his head over his shoulder. he blinks rapidly at your motionless figure. you’re still not facing him.
“what?” is all he says. his voice is surprisingly steady, the confession not yet registering with his sleepy mind. his eyes are burning into you. “i wanna break up,” you repeat and squish your face further into your pillow. peter suddenly sits up, flicking on the lamp on his side. he tries to sling an arm around you. you move further away until you’re at the edge of the bed.
“i’m serious, peter. everything we had, it’s gone.” your words cut through him harder than literal knives he’s been stabbed with. “i- i don’t understand. where is this coming from?” he rakes a hand through his mess of curls. you turn onto your back, looking up at peter. his eyes are fixed on your lower half.
he’ll most definitely cry if he meets your eyes. he really doesn’t want to cry, not ever again when you won’t be here to make him feel better.
“it’s been coming,” you almost scoff at him as you prop yourself up against your pillows. peter’s teeth tug at his lower lip. “all we do is this.” you gesture to your bed, slapping your hand down at your side. “i get tired,” he speaks quietly, refusing to look at you. “i know you do, peter. i know, but you’d be a lot happier if you ever listened to me.”
your statement comes off as condescending to him. he works up the courage to look you in the face. “are you kidding? all you do is boss me around, and i take it. i’ve never once complained.” anger is coursing through his veins and voice. at the situation, that he’s about to lose the one stable part of his life. you’re getting pissed, too.
“that’s because you can’t do anything yourself!” you throw the blankets off you and swing your legs over the bed in one motion. peter hops out of bed entirely. “my whole life, i’ve been on my own half the time,” he spits as he comes over to stand in front of you. “sorry for taking you up on your offers to help.”
your peter would never spew that shit out. he wouldn’t guilt you for something he’s in the wrong about. this peter takes you for granted. he has no clue how fucked he’d be without you.
the first time you spoke to peter was on your way to history 227. you’d recognized him from your class, much more interested in the pretty boy taking notes with his tongue stuck out than whatever war your professor would lecture about.
he was carrying some books, a pencil case that didn’t fully zip, and a five subject notebook. you watched him do his balancing act through the halls until his legs started to wobble. a knowing smile on your face, you tapped his shoulder. it was a gentle one so you didn’t scare him and make all his things fall over.
“can i carry something for you?” you laughed out and pushed one of your backpack straps up on your shoulder. peter only stared at you, his doe eyes prompting you to reach for his pencil case. “uh, no, it’s fine. i got it. see?” he proved that to you by hiking everything up in his arms. he gave you a smile of his own.
“are you sure? we’re going to the same place,” you’d checked again and pointed at his impressive pile. “i’m not gonna steal your sharpies.” “really, i’m fine,” peter insisted with a heart clenching chuckle. “you can have one, if you want,” he offered and attempted to unzip his case, one handed. you put your hand over his to stop him.
“wait until we get to class,” you let go of him, leaving the tips of peter’s ears a shade of pink you’d later fall in love with. “i’ll sit with you.”
peter was once determined to do things on his own, to be self-sufficient. it used to be something he was proud of. now, he’s completely incapable of holding his independence.
“we’re done, peter.” your tone is short, you getting to your feet. “you’d probably forget how to fucking breathe without me, but call it bossing around, i guess,” you laugh bitterly and go over to your drawers. peter’s face falls as he grabs your wrist, stopping you when you pass by him. “where are you going?”
no answer. you pull yourself out of his grasp with your lips pressed into a stern line. peter follows you step by step over to the dresser. “wait, wait. don’t leave, baby. please,” he begs you, getting onto his knees beside you. you’re pulling random clothes out as quick as you can. a science t-shirt peter outgrew is in your hands.
peter used to give you all his old clothes. the signature smell of his cologne lingered no matter how many times you washed them. they kept you calm on nights he was out late patrolling or away on missions. peter would sport a smirk whenever you wore them out in public, pulling you closer to him and complimenting the look.
it started when he was packing for his first mission since you two had begun living together. he’d realized he became too buff to fit in some shirts. remembering how many times you’d giggle at their funny sayings, peter gave them to you. you threw one on and thanked him with a peck on the cheek. it became your tradition.
peter would set off for a new continent, but a piece of him would stay home with you.
the stretched out hoodies and ripped sweatpants just sit in your drawer now. another meaningful thing discontinued. whatever he doesn’t want goes to may for donations now. the memory of what they used to mean to you makes a fit of rage burst through you.
you slam down his ‘find x’ shirt in the space between his knees and yours. you’re on a mission of your own this time. you aren’t going anywhere until you get rid of all the stuff that went from him to you.
“y/n, don’t do this. i- i love you. i love you.” peter chokes out, tears filling his eyes. his vision is clouded while you toss more clothes to your side. “i love you, y/n/n,” he whimpers again, and this time you briskly push the drawer shut. the whole dresser shakes. this is the most emotion either of you have shown in the past few months of your relationship. it’s a little too late.
“love is more than a word, peter. you have to back it up with actions.” you’re doing your best not to cry. the memories of how loved peter made you feel play in your mind. he briefly wipes under his eyes and shakes his head. he’s so oblivious. “i thought i- i did.” “exactly, you did. you gave up at some point.” your voice gets weaker as a tear drips down your chin.
you didn’t plan on breaking down when you imagined this moment. part of you wishes you could give him another chance. most of you knows it wouldn’t do any good for you or peter. you’re not right for each other anymore. he outgrew some sweatshirts, you outgrew him.
that takes you all the way back to it’s not you, it’s me. it’s really both of you.
for the last time, you pull peter in for a hug. the two of you need this. he loops his arms around your back, keeping them loose around you as he tucks his face into the side of your neck. you’re a mix of tears and sharp breaths with your chin on his shoulder. you bring a hand up to the back of his head, grabbing a fistful of curls.
he sobs right into your ear, effectively destroying whatever composure you had left.
even though you’re not in love with peter, you haven’t stopped loving him. somewhere inside of him is the goofy boy who asked you out on a post-it during class. the kindhearted man who gave so much of himself to the world and saved enough for you. the one whose fingertips left goosebumps on your skin with every touch.
seeing him like this, having caused it feels like a dull pain rippling in every part of your body. you’ve been there to soothe him during countless breakdowns over the years. you managed to stay strong for all of them. this is the only exception. he lost people, felt down about life, made mistakes. you were there to pick up each piece and put them back together.
the one mistake peter made that you can’t fix is not loving you right. you became his rock, his anchor whenever he let grief and sadness rule over him. you’d get him back to himself. he could’ve at least bought you flowers once in a while, or done anything that showed his gratitude. every iteration of awful put together isn’t enough to describe how he feels.
“i’m so- i’m so fucking sorry, baby. i don’t deserve you. i never have,” peter murmurs as he cries, wetting your skin that his face is still pressed into. your fingers pull roughly at his hair. hot tears overflow from your own eyes. “i should’ve done more.” his voice cracks on the last word. “that’s all i wanted to hear, pete,” you breathe out and pull away from him.
“does that mean you’ll stay?” he croaks, arms still wound around your body. his eyes are hopeful when they lock with yours. a frown pulls at your lips. “only for tonight. i should... one of us should sleep on the couch.” “oh,” his voice is gravelly, so he clears his throat. “i’ll do it.” you’re not going to fight him on it for once.
peter removes his arms from your waist, you sitting back down on your thighs. you give him a blink and you’ll miss it smile because you can’t keep one for long. it’s to let him know you’re not mad. you were at the start of this conversation, then he took accountability. you also came to terms with the fact that the downfall of your relationship was a joined effort.
there are more factors than peter not giving you what he should have. time, different goals, new outlooks on life. you can’t hate only him because a whole bunch of things lead to this.
instead of a smile, since he physically can’t put one on his splotchy face, peter brushes the pad of his thumb over the corner of your lips. he gets up to leave the room, but you stop him with a “wait!” he freezes in front of you. you get out a hoodie from his pile of old clothes and stand up. “it’s cold.” you put it in his hands, earning a grin that he didn’t think was possible.
“thanks, y/n,” peter sighs and holds the hoodie against his chest. “goodnight. um,” this is the part where he’d usually say i love you. “sleep well, okay?” the replacement stings for both of you. you’ll have to learn to fall asleep without hearing that phrase first. as much as you didn’t feel it anymore, you’d become used to it. “you too, peter. night,” you say softly.
you head back to your bed while peter walks out the door. he glances at you once, and you’re already settling under the covers. he shuts the door behind him before finding his way to the couch.
your bed has always seemed too small. it’s gigantic without peter. you aren’t sure how you feel about that yet.
peter lays across the couch, the hood that doesn’t quite fit him pulled over his head. he’s only wearing it because you gave it to him. you doing that not even five minutes ago was how you backed up your love with actions. it’s so easy. silent tears spill from his eyes at the realization.
he wishes on every star that he could’ve figured out he wasn’t doing enough sooner. you’d be together right now, had he just caught on. there was a time he prided himself on knowing you fully and completely. how to turn you into the shy one with certain combinations of words, what your schedule was each week so he could plan his free time around it.
your relationship became something he thought would last unconditionally. if only he was able pinpoint the exact moment he went wrong.
you’re right in the other room. he can go in there and bawl, plead for you to take him back. how could he do that and claim to love you, though? you’ve made it clear you‘re over him.
the best way for peter to show you he loves you is by letting you live your life, without him in it.
-
you don’t see peter again for weeks. he moved back in with may, and you got to keep the apartment. you were the one who took all the care of it, anyway.
your semester ended at the perfect time because peter isn’t in any of your new classes. the city is too big to bump into each other. you’re free from the hold he had on you, which would’ve been four years long since yesterday. you’ve been good at picking up his broken pieces for too long, and now it’s time to pick up your own.
for all the hangouts you missed on his behalf, you made up for it. you called mj the day after your breakup and met for lunch. she never explicitly said it, but she took your side. peter had a feeling because when he had the same idea as you, to lean on his friends for support, she never reached out.
betty is indifferent, ned stays cordial with you. his real loyalty is to peter. you can’t blame him.
peter hasn’t been doing well since you broke up. he’s not eating enough, he can’t focus on work of any kind. you were right when you said he would forget how to breathe without you. he often wonders how you’ve been.
he finds out today.
you’re walking around campus, heading in the direction peter just came from. he has a class in the building your last one was. the two of you are on the same sidewalk, opposite sides. he almost doesn’t recognize you.
mj is on one side of you, a guy he’s never seen before with an arm around your shoulders. you’re all laughing about whatever dumb thing your professor said during the lecture. your hair, which is done in a new style, flows behind you in the spring breeze. a smile takes place on your glossy lips. the smile is directed towards that guy. your new boyfriend, peter assumes.
you look amazing, and not only physically. you seem happy with your small group of people. peter hadn’t been able to give you that happiness in years, so it’s nice to see you got it back somehow.
he must have stared too long because you notice him. you fall behind mj and your potential boyfriend, both of them wrapped up in discussing your next project. peter stops walking. you do the same. he’s not sure if he upset you, or what’s going on. his instincts tell him to apologize. his mouth stays closed.
that infectious smile of yours appears once again. you thought about peter yesterday, it being your anniversary and all. you’d only let yourself remember the good things. they outweighed the bad ones when you look back on everything.
“aye, grandma! get over here!” mj calls to you, your boyfriend nudging her side. “take your time, y/n/n. i’m not in a rush to write seven long ass pages.” you laugh to yourself at the two of them. peter fiddles with the zipper on his jacket. it’s from the drawer of things you used to wear. “one sec!” you yell back.
“hey,” you turn to face peter, who’s giving you a tight lipped smile. “how’ve you been?” “i’m okay. just, you know,” he shrugs and clasps his hands behind his back. there’s a short silence before peter says, “you seem good. really good.” he smiles for real this time. “yeah, i am. i hope you are, too,” you tell him and genuinely mean it.
you’d like to catch up soon, but it’s not right yet. you both need more time. “i’ll see you around?” you’re already starting to walk, backwards so you can see peter. “uh, sure. bye,” he gives you a quick wave and continues on his way.
you get back to mj and your boyfriend, his arm returning to your shoulders. they waited for you by the stoplight. “what’d ya get up to over there?” he teases, mj suspiciously watching your face for any tells. you carefully think through your answer with a grin. “love.”
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