#but it's so bad it's weird. and a little funny even
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Continuing my posts answering questions about my own characters that nobody asked or cares about because I enjoy it!
I've decided to start with my protagonists first and then go down the line with everyone else I have. Because it's fun!
And nobody can stop me.
This time with my oldest OC ever, Klein Lieben Sternenfeuer. The kindred adventurer. The black cat. The self-proclaimed witch. The sun eater.
The girl who's just really weird and likes magic.
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv This gal vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Yeah. She's THAT kind of person.
Call her Lieben, Klein, or anything of the sort. She doesn't mind.
1. When outside during the rain, do you use a raincoat, an umbrella, or something else? Do you enjoy rain?
*In a very pronounced, thick french accent*
KL: I like to wear raincoats! Though an umbrella is good too. They're cute and I like it when they have fun images on them, but they're just so tedious to carry sometimes! My arm gets tired!
KL: To answer that other question, I do like rain! But rainy days are a little sad, too...
2. Are you a good cook? Do you enjoy cooking? What's your favorite thing to cook?
KL: Fu hu hu... But of course. My momma taught me to make scrambled eggs when I was little, and now I'm super good at it! Every time I make my super special spicy scrambled eggs, my friends are so moved by my culinary prowess, that it drives them to tears! Tears of joy! Could you imagine?
KL: Back home, everyone liked to tease me about my food since I made my own lunches. They kept telling me it smelled weird and that human food was so barbaric... But I like to think they were just jealous because I was the only one that could cook something half-decent. Now, my new friends, my REAL friends, love it so much, they ask me to only cook for them on super special occasions, and even let me have most of it for myself! What else could a girl ask for?!
KL: Naturally, I also enjoy cooking. My momma is a very famous potion seller back home, and cooking is kinda like brewing, right? Anyways, it feels like a piece of home I can take anywhere I go.
3. Do you prefer to take a shower during the morning or evening? Do you like taking baths? What's your favorite scent of shower gel?
KL: Haha. Funny story, so I was born with a weird thing that makes me sleep during the day. I can keep awake if I try, but I get really tired. My morning basically starts at 6 in the afternoon!
KL: But in short, I can only take baths during the night before I go to sleep. Unless you consider that my actual morning. Then I'd be taking baths during the night as well, but that'd be during the early hours of the morning, around 3 or 4 am...
KL: Regardless, I like baths a lot! Willow has to drag me out so that I don't sleep in there sometimes. But can you blame me? Thanks to my super cool fire magic, the water's always nice!
4. Would you do something that someone told you not to? Why? Is there someone you'd actually listen to more than anyone else?
KL: I often got in trouble back home for not listening to my momma... I swear I'm not a bad girl, though! I'm really nice and friendly and stuff! But the rules back home were so... strict and boring... I just wanted to go on an adventure! And even now, Manamea keeps pestering me about responsibility this and maturity that, even though she's just one year older than me, and she literally looks exactly like me! Who is she to give me any orders?! Because she's not me, even if she looks the part but more tan!
KL: Ugh, all of this is making my head hurt... I just wanna have fun, man! Explore ancient dungeons, find awesome treasures and fight the bad guys! My friend Willow is the only one who gets me. He never disagrees with me, and even if he could talk, I bet he still wouldn't do it. That's why he's my best friend!
5. What will make you give up?
KL: Nothing! I'll keep exploring this world, every nook and cranny, until I've seen it all!
KL: But, ah, if I get tired, it's okay if I take a nap, right? After all, the flame that burns too bright is the one to go out first. Gotta make some time to rest!
6. What kind of books do you read? Do you have a lot of time to read?
KL: Oh, you like reading, too?!? Awesome! I always like to find new reading buddies! My favorite book is... gah, I can't decide! I like ones where there's tales of adventure and epic battles. B-b-but I also like books where there's beautiful worlds of endless imagination!
Kl: But I also like books that talk about real world stuff, like animals, and magical creatures. Did you know that modern magical creatures are speculated to have been born from the overexposure of magical fallout on common flora and fauna specimens after the collapse?! It's really cool! There's always somethin' new and interestin' to learn in every book, so I try to bring one wherever I go! Mana says I need to stop burying myself in the pages and see the world for what it is, but I just can't help it. They're like portals to another world!
7. What's your favorite kind of sport? Do you follow sports closely or do you not care at all?
KL: I dunno if it counts as a sport, but I like to watch the Adventurers' Guild trials whenever I can visit. There's just something so... cool about seeing every aspiring recruit come up with ways to overcome the challenges!
8. How often do you get sick? Do you stay at home when sick or do you end up going outside to, say, get some groceries? If you go outside, would you wear a mask?
KL: I don't think I've ever gotten sick. My momma always said its because elves don't get sick, but I'm not even an elf like her...
KL: My friend Willow gets sick really often though, and whenever he does, I end up taking care of him! He always gets better in the end, so I really enjoy that time we spend together.
9. Do you have to wear a uniform somewhere? If yes, how do you feel about it? If no, what kind of uniform would you love to wear?
KL: I used to have to wear a uniform back home when I went to school with the other kids. I used to think it was stuffy, and my momma always made me wear it whenever we'd have brewing lessons. But now... I think it's grown on me. Especially now that I can modify it any way I want!
10. How do you celebrate your accomplishments?
KL: With a night out at the diner in company of friends, and all the poffs I can eat!
11. What's your preferred method of getting somewhere - own car, public transport, a bicycle or something else? How well do you follow the transit rules?
KL: What's a 'kahrr'? Anyways, nothing beats a good walk, or ridin' on horseback!
12. What do you use to check what time it is?
KL: My own body tends to tell me! If I'm feeling REALLY sleepy, then it's probably past 6 am. Otherwise, everyone knows you can look at the welkin rings to tell the time!
KL: Hm? You wanna know what time it is now? Er... Well, why should I tell you? Didn't they teach you that in school? Tsk tsk, you really should pay more attention!
13. What would make you happy and loved?
KL: I already am! Because I have adventures with my friends every day! Even if they don't all go as planned!
14. Do you believe in other dimensions?
KL: I! I...? I don't-- I've been t...
*Lieben stares blankly into the horizon for a second, before blinking a few times*
KL: What were we talking about?
15. What kind of music do you mostly listen to? Do you know how to play an instrument, and if not, which one would you want to learn to play?
KL: Heheh. Willow and I are part of a band that plays around the city's taverns! We get together once a month and go on a whole tour! I play the Laton whistle, while my little buddy plays the fiddle!
KL: Actually, the whole reason we got together in the first place is because of him! He used to be a street performer, just like me! But unlike me, he actually had that, uh, pizzazz. You shoulda seen him, little buddy looks even thinner than me, but he's got some serious moves to go with his fiddlin'!
KL: It used to drive me so mad back then... ah, I remember it as if it was just yesterday... But it's been three whole months since then! Hah!
16. Do you collect anything? Why?
KL: What DON'T I collect! There's so many cool things out there, it'd be weird not to keep them! Well, I guess even I wouldn't collect pets like I do books. We already struggle with money as it is.
17. What's your go-to drink? Do you prefer cold or hot drinks?
KL: There's nothing better to have than a spicy cold drink with some sweet 'n sour poffs, no matter the time or weather. Ever since Mana got me to try that, I haven't been able to live without it!
KL: And I mean, who would enjoy hot drinks? Its already plenty warm every day as is!
🌻 random in-character questions
an ask game where, instead of replying from your perspective, you answer as if it's your original character/muse/self-insert/etc. answering the question ✨
🌧️ "When outside during the rain, do you use a raincoat, an umbrella, or something else? Do you enjoy rain?"
🍳 "Are you a good cook? Do you enjoy cooking? What's your favorite thing to cook?"
🧼 "Do you prefer to take a shower during the morning or evening? Do you like taking baths? What's your favorite scent of shower gel?"
❌ "Would you do something that someone told you not to do? Why? Is there someone you'd actually listen to more than everyone else?"
🏳️ "What will make you give up?"
📖 "What kinds of books do you read? Do you have a lot of time to read?"
⛸️ "What's your favorite kind of sport? Do you follow sports closely or don't care at all?"
😷 "How often do you get sick? Do you stay at home when sick or do you end up going outside to, say, get some groceries? If you go outside, would you wear a mask?"
🥼 "Do you have to wear a uniform somewhere? If yes, how do you feel about it? If no, what kind of uniform would you love to wear?"
🥂 "How do you celebrate you accomplishments?"
🛴 "What's your preferred way of getting somewhere - own car, public transport, a bicycle, or something else? How well do you follow the traffic rules?"
🕰️ "What do you use to check what time it is?"
🥰 "What would make you feel happy and loved?"
🐇 "Do you believe in other dimensions?"
🎺 "What kind of music do you mostly listen to? Do you know how to play an instrument, and if not, which one would you want to learn to play?"
💽 "Do you collect anything? Why?"
🧋 "What's your go-to thing to drink? Do you prefer cold or hot drinks?"
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the 141 and the really weird or random quirks I’ve decided they had
pairing: task force 141 (ghost, gaz, price, soap) x female reader
warnings: suggestive content, like sexual content but not smut
a/n: I have zero reason for doing this expect I wanted too?? and got carried away with suggestive aspects of it which is funny cause I don't write smut lmfaooo. so mostly fluff and based off real quirks people I know have.
Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt List
requests open for tf141!
—
Price:
no matter how many times he cleans the bathroom, his beard hair is everywhere. obviously he keeps that shit well groomed but it’s always somehow stuck on your face after you wash it, or on your shower loofah or towel. and you've tried and he’s tried to clean it and it never works.
loves gnomes. you have ones in the garden, the front yard, in your house for EVERY occasion. I’m talking christmas, easter, halloween, thanksgiving. he has a set for every season and it honestly scares you a little. one year he bought a giant one for your christmas tree as the topper and it made him so happy so you just accepted it.
doesn’t like to celebrate his birthday. He’s so much of a giver he downplays it every year. If you guys have kids, he’ll buy something for them ON HIS DAY just to take the attention off. so he kind of hates gifts, but he’s not going to not accept that. Would prefer you don’t, even though he bought you a $20K pearl necklace for your birthday. (You’re still afraid to wear it)
leaves you on heard. all. the. time. you ask him something, like as he’s sitting next to you and just … silence. sometimes he even nods, looks at you and then turns away. you’re not sure if it’s something to do with his hearing or he’s just so relaxed at home he just doesn’t comprehend sometimes. “hey, baby, what do you want for dinner?” “mm.”
average dad experience of sharing a hotel room and brother is snoring. you know what I’m talking about? the cold A.C turning on and off and mf just be out and it’s so loud you have to wear ear plugs. you wonder if he has sleep apnea at some point bc he can’t be real.
but don’t worry, he’s just as loud in bed bed ;) and he makes it known when you’re going at it
Ghost:
too stealthy for his own good and always scares the shit out of you. and he’ll try to be loud too, knocking on doors AND still isn’t loud enough. He always feel so bad but it’s also so funny to him bc he really does try to not be so quiet.
owns the same black t-shirt, like at least 5, but claims one of them is just softer and better than the others. you’ve tried them all on and there is no difference��to which he mumbled something about you not having the special sense??
cat whisperer. you’ll adopt a cat while he’s gone bc you’re lonely and you spend all the time with the cat but no. cat loves ghost more. He’ll sleep on top of ghost, but never you. he’ll follow ghost around the house, but not you. it’s very infuriating. and ghost has no idea why bc he’s around 1/2 the time you are.
has a whole cabinet for his bourbon collection. and a special glass cup AND special spherical ice for it. he doesn’t even drink that often, but it was absolutely necessary (to him).
he’s a clean freak. very routine in how and when he does laundry. Bed sheets on this day, dark on this day, etc. he won’t let you do any of it. If he loses a sock, he throws out the other pair. as soon as there’s a hole in something, he throws it out.
nov. 1st is christmas to him. the tree is already up, no questions asks. there are no thanksgiving decoration in this house. he also has multiple trees, one by the entrance, one in the living room, one in your bedroom.
has definitely fucked you under the christmas lights by the fire. begs you to wear bow lingerie so he can quite literally “unwrap his best gift”
Gaz:
loves the lego car sets. his home office is decorated with all his medals AND the lego cars. has definitely left pieces out that you stepped on and then proceeded to scream his ear off.
begs you to play fortnite with him. you think he’s batshit crazy “that’s literally your actual job” “no but the raging kids makes it fun and we can match skins” (he means the banana skins btw) and he’s a troll. he doesn’t take the game seriously, he just wants to torture little kids and make fun of you when you can’t figure out where the shooting is coming from. or when you throw down a med kit instead of splash.
cannot get through a movie without fucking you and it’s always during the good parts so he’s got you in doggy and you’re still trying to watch the movie??
Instigator fr. he’s not toxic but like he’s gonna argue. Has literally once said to you “I’m not arguing I’m just explaining why I’m right” to which you stared at him and asked if he was stupid
always ask for hot sauce or sriracha at restaurants or if he can get something spicer. he eats buldok noodles with the whole sauce packet and then proceeds to sit in the bathroom for an hour while you scold him.
reckless driver to the max. you fear for your life when you’re in a car with him. He speeds (within reason he claims), he makes quick merges and switches lanes fast. he does use a turn signal so you let it slide bc he’s risky but not THAT risky.
obviously, he has horrible road rage. you’ll be calling him while he’s driving and it’s all normal and then “OI YOU FUCKING SHITE DO YOU HAVE A LICENSE?” you just sigh and then he answers you like normal, “yeah I think I’m out of toothpaste too.”
saves every selfie of you from snap and his rotating ones as his wallpaper. even the ugly ones you beg him to take out. like any guy, he’ll claim it’s his favorite and then it’s a 0.5 of you eating ice cream and it’s dripping everywhere and your eyes are half closed.
Soap:
leaves sticky notes everywhere to remind himself of things. anything. “need olive oil” “missing one blue sock” “(Y/N) wants thai takeout” “call ghost” “laundry”
and sometimes they’re not even correlated to where it should be. like the note that just says “laundry” will be in the kitchen. and he stacks on top of those sticky notes with more. “did laundry” “bought more socks” it drives you insane
he's obsessed with blankets. He has a designated like basket/bin or blankets in the living room and your bedroom. He sleeps with like three. and he’s got heated ones, sherpa ones, weighted ones, etc. absolutely collects the different printed ones for each holiday.
loves to go decor shopping with you, but only because he wants to pick out the ugliest things and see your reaction as you swat at him and tell him to put it back. only for him to sneak it back into the cart and you death glare him.
If you need to rant, he resumes the whole “omg girl, period.” personality. he loves gossip and he loves doing facemasks with you as you talk shit and drama about your coworkers.
he's so “wait I have to tell my gf this” bro will literally be on a mission and gets a cut? “I have to tell (Y/N).” the room exploded? would take a selfie and send it to you, if possible. sees a weird shaped potato at the grocery store? Sends a picture. Falls down the stairs? you're getting a picture of his broken foot. hard? here's a dick pic just for you babe
uses the same hydroflask water bottle that’s dented, has sticker residue and chipping on all side. “It’s reusable, that’s the point” he claims. you're not sure if he’s ever washed it and you certainly aren’t going to open it and find out for him.
#if ur name is Kyle Garrick u can reach me at 540-#pls send requests guys I wanna write for them#down bad and no shame#cod#call of duty#tf 141#tf 141 x reader#tf 141 x you#141 x reader#cod 141#captain john price#john price#john price x reader#simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick x reader#gaz x reader#john soap mactavish#soap x reader#john mactavish#john mactavish x reader#kyle garrick
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Im neither a proshipper nor an anti at this current stage in life, but at one point i was an anti i guess? And I hate it say it, but looking back, I understand why. I don't think I actually gave a fuck about Harmful Fanfic or whatever, it was just a substitute for therapy that i couldn't get at the time (because "literally neurodivergent and a minor" or whatever, but like...actually literally neurodivergent and a minor LOL).
As weird as it sounds like, no one cared about my ACTUAL PAIN, and that made me feel EVEN MORE PAIN, so i took it out on ppl who shipped "abuse", or whatever.
It's so stupid now, as an adult who is mentally better than I was then, but as ridiculous as it was, seeing someone ship an "abusive" ship or a "queer erasing ship" (like a canonically gay character with someone of the other binary gender)...it felt eerily similar to the actual abuse I was facing and the stress that everyone was putting on me to find a boyfriend or ask why my (closeted lesbian) self didn't like any boys.
But it was so much easier to keyboard warrior about how people who ship Bad things are Bad people, than it was to fix any problems in my actual life because...well, the actual problems in my life COULDN'T be fixed. That isn't a learned helplessness thing, there was genuinely nothing I could've done. So pissing off Shippers was, like, a vessel for that, and it *felt* like I was getting to lash out at the same people who were ACTUALLY hurting me, even though that obviously is not the case. Funny thing is, it wasn't actual fandom discourse that made me switch sides, it was getting to learn more about youth liberation movements and stuff, because it was then that I recognized the actual structures that were making me hurt.
I think one silver lining is it's made me more compassionate an adult. While I don't have any defense for the antis who do actual horrendous stuff like doxxing or sending death/rape threats, etc, I do have a lot of defense for the ones who were like me and would just make posts talking about how Wrong it is to ship certain things. I know that not all antis are in the same place that I was once was, and some are just genuinely immature brats, but it's like. . . I get it, you know?
The cycle of abuse/bullying is weird and it's not often a 1:1 "I had an abusive parent so now i'll be an abusive parent", sometimes it's the chronically online stuff like I did. It's also why I'm careful-careful to not engage and to just block or, even try to have a mature discussion if I can, and if the person I'm talking to is just "a little bit annoying" rather than "actual bully doing/sending illegal stuff". A lot of them just want to be heard, I think, and it really makes me sad that this is the way they choose to be heard...but also i get it, because i was that.
--
Yup. We often discuss anti tendencies in this framework.
People want control over their environment when they have none. They want the world to make sense and for there to be simple rules they can follow to Never Mess Up. This is a very common reaction to trauma and also typical of brains that like order and neat boxes and a world full of justice and logic.
The trouble is that a critical mass of "I'm just pointing this out" type posts does tend to make all the other teens with an issue around moral scrupulosity implode. (And let's be real, plenty of the antis themselves are secretly into dark content and are trying to pray the gay kink away.)
I have some sympathy, but I'm still going to tell people they're sealioning when they are and tell them they're flat out wrong about how fantasies work, not sugar coat it because they're probably a delicate teen. There's no need to be excessively mean or treat people as irredeemable, but I also don't like how we talk endlessly about compassion for teen antis and not for teens targeted by antis. It's similar to how there are all those complaints like "Hey, I work hard to manage my mental illness, but all the support seems to go to people who are letting their issues rampage..."
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maybe some Dallas Winston OR Sodapop Curtis dating headcanons? :3
Dating Sodapop Curtis HCs ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Sodapop Curtis x Fem!Reader
୨୧ : HC’s of dating Tulsa’s pretty boy
A/N : I see soooo much of Dallas all over tumblr so I picked Soda 😭 may do him next tho. Also Rob serves sm face
˖⁺‧₊˚ 🥤 ˚₊‧⁺˖
୨ SO attentative
୨ I wrote this for Darry too but he loves having his hands on you at all times
୨ I think handholding or a hand on your hip would be the most common
୨ PDA is scared of this man.
୨ Loves sleeping with you; napping, etc, he just likes knowing you’re with him
୨ Most of his jokes are awful so you laugh out of pity or are simply the only person that finds them funny
୨ Steve makes fun of his ‘charm’ around you all the time
୨ He always gives you his flannels whenever you get cold (or if there’s even a slight breeze… he might be showing off a bit)
୨ He’s also the type to lay his jacket on top of a puddle for you when you could easily walk around it LMAO
୨ He’s just a gentleman in general
୨ Carrying bags for you, opening doors, etc
୨ You also get piggybacks from him constantly even if you could walk by yourself
୨ You get spoiled whether it’s with affection or items- doesn’t even matter that they’re kinda poor
୨ You definitely get flowers every date night (whether he bought them or picked them himself)
୨ You have to care for him every time he digests dairy
୨ Drinks chocolate milk every morning anyways even tho he knows it’ll kill his stomach
୨ Also comforting him whenever he gets dragged into one of Pony and Darry’s fights
୨ You guys definitely dance around in the living room or something
୨ It’s pretty playful yet still romantic
୨ Protective.
୨ He also gets jealous pretty easily whether you wanna say it’s because of Sandy or just in general
୨ You get hugged CONSTANTLY, usually from behind
୨ You always come to visit him after school- or on the weekends- as he works at the DX
୨ You usually sit with him behind the counter but sometimes you have to go to the break room because he gets too distracted whilst working 😭
୨ On top of all that, you bring him lunches with you as well (along with ones for Steve)
୨ He remembers every little detail you tell him
୨ Like even if he’s a little dumb (😇🫶) he somehow knows what your favorite pre-school teacher’s name was
୨ He writes you short and cheesy love letters from time to time
୨ Yes, half the words are always spelt wrong but who cares??? You can’t make fun of that pretty face
୨ The gang almost never hears him call you by your actual name
୨ It’s always a pet name unless he’s talking about you to them and other people
୨ You eventually get used to/enjoy the smell of grease and gasoline from how often he gets covered in it
୨ You guys def shower together on a pretty regular basis whether it becomes sexual or not
୨ Baking together!! (he makes the biggest mess in the world and is kinda bad at it but you help him)
୨ You guys definitely get red and blue slushies from the DX and both have purple tongues an hour later
୨ You always offer to wash his clothes for him which seems kinda weird but it’s just because you want his clothes smelling like you/your detergent
୨ He definitely started letting you do it constantly from then on
୨ He’s literally the embodiment of “THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!”
୨ He’s just such a sweetie- sodapop I wish u were real 💔
#the outsiders#the outsiders x reader#the outsiders fanfiction#the outsiders imagine#outsiders#the outsiders x you#curtis gang#curtis gang x reader#sodapop curtis x reader#sodapop curtis#the outsiders sodapop#sodapop x reader#sodapop curtis headcanons#sodapop curtis x you
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there is a shockingly low amount of tmnt on this blog for how long ive been into it. big tmnt'12 dump bc ive been trying to binge it recently
general sibling interactions.. very attatched to the idea of karai getting to be their sibling + i was so sleepy i kept thinking abt the turtles brumating
more sibling karai. thought itd be funny if bc of the yokai/time travel ep when mikey did that weird dance at baby karai he was implanted in her brain as an automatic Favorite. hes so peculiar
read this fic abt the aftermath of shellacne. the last line from donnie has been repeated by my sibling since i sent it to them
ougugghhh into dimension x you are so famous to everyoneee.. 1st one is me thinking abt how mikey had to be So insane to get a KRAANG SKULL? strange guy. and i dont remember which one but i read a fic where mikey's breathing apparatus breaks n he ends up getting used to the dim x air and um. consequences back on earth
RENET!!!!!!!!!!! renet tilley you are SO FAMOUS TO ME milf shirt is bc april in s3e1 really makes it sound like mikey was the only one doing house chores. cooking cleaning caring for animals etc. single mom
!!!! concept for a weirrrddddd savage mikey rep thatd be in his head in Journey To The Center of Mikeys Mind. was thinking that instead of being outside in that checker floor area, hed stick around core mikey. protecting him n protecting that last bit of childhood innocence. hed stand very tall and intimidating. core probably wouldnt even really know where he came from?? smth abt the brain blocking out traumatic memories. i like him
tang shen aus... more specifically inspired by this fic that i need to finish catching up on.. mikey and karai sibling relationship is so special 2 meee
2012 LEO YOU ARE EVERYTHING 2 MEEEE wishing so bad we got to see more of him and mikey.. mikey and his brothers ... ougghhhhh
and a little bit of smth from a personal iteration im working on ... definitely excited to post abt them once i have more solid outfits designed
#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2012#2012 tmnt#2012 teenage mutant ninja turtles#2012 leo#2012 raph#2012 donnie#2012 mikey#why is literally everyone in this post omg.#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt leonardo#tmnt donatello#tmnt raphael#2012 karai#tmnt karai#renet tilley#tang shen#grew up with this tmnt.. got back into it when it got big on tiktok and was absolutely falling for the Mikey Is Abused propaganda. then#i rewatched it. he is the youngest and so annoying and literally everyone in that show is victim to bad writers that write them to be#WAYYYYY too mean to eachother overall. like siblings are mean but even after somehting super messed up n scary theyre still so mean to him?#but mikey n raph are so special to me. he cares abt him so much like raph is so sweet#AND LEOOOO leo is so special to me overall.. she is so soft and sweet and kind in this iteration omggg i need to see more of her being#a big sister to mikey.. ougghhh....#im a leo had gender envy seeing karai truther .. shes so girlfailure <3#renetangelo#(guy who hasnt posted in a month voice) hey guys whats up
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Hi bubbles! Absolutely love your st fics, can you write a little something about how they would react/take care of reader who's in (some) pain of some sort? (no pressure you can just ignore this)❤️❤️❤️
Hello, gorgeous. Thank you for being a part of our crew. 🫧✨ I will base it on my migraines
Vessel
Would hate it just like they all would. Seeing a person you love in pain is never easy. He tries to ensure that you find comfort in the smallest ways. “What else can I do?”, he would ask softly after running through the whole usual routine. Wanting to know that he was doing it all. “Just lay with me”, you would mutter, pulling the side of the blanket up. Vessel wouldn’t hesitate even for a moment, carefully climbing behind you.
“Should I give you a shoulder massage? Might help relieve the pain slightly?”, he asks making you hum. Slowly helping you sit down before your back is pressed against his chest. He lets you lean on him like that for a bit. Not wanting to disturb your comfortable position. Slowly reaching up to brush his fingers down the back of your neck. A light hiss slips past your lips, “That’s the spot huh”, he asks repeating the motion.
ii
Ever since you told him he had the meds you usually use on him all the time. Aware that not everything worked and that you had been a victim of forgetting your medication, ii now made sure that never happened again.
You’re driving home after having dinner with the boys. Leaving early since the sharp pain had made me practically cry out in pain. ii had watched you trying to play it down. “I can stay for a couple more hours, love”, you had promised him, cupping his cheek lovingly. “We’re going home”, and it wasn’t a suggestion. It was a statement.
He had pulled out the already premixed packet with his teeth before handing it to you. Sneaking glance your way as he drove. Hand on your thigh, in hopes of soothing you. Your own wrapped over his, nails digging into his skin. “How are you holding up?”, ii asked glancing your way. You had been breathing way too shallow for ii’s liking. “Pull over”, you whimpered. Taking ii by surprise as he went full alert mode, “What?,” “Pull over ii”,’ and you’re already grabbing for the handle, he’s messily turning right, before you lean over, gagging.
“Not bad my ass”, ii grunt, leaning over to grab a water bottle from the back, before undoing your seatbelt. “Try to breathe”, his fingers brush over your back before he moves over to hand you the water. You pull up trembling slightly, “I will puke if I drink that”, you push at the bottle, leaning your head against the seat. “Breathe for some time and we will try”, he suggests, heart breaking watching you like this.
iii
He notices the smallest of changes. Especially if it’s a pattern-based pain like a migraine. He sees you blinking differently. The burning irritating your eyes. “Do you feel a migraine coming?”, he would ask softly, instantly lowering the sound of the TV. “Probably… been feeling so weird all day”, you grunt, putting pressure on your temples. “Should have told me”, iii huffed standing up.
“Did you drink your water?”, he shoots you a look that’s met with your guilty eyes, “I just got so busy at the office today”. “You’re lucky that you’re cute or I would be whipping your ass”, he shakes his head before disappearing into the kitchen. Not even moments later, iii is walking back, hands full.
“Onto your back you go”, he missions before, handing you a cold cap. “Yes, doctor iii”, you muse, following his lead. “Very funny”, iii shoots you thine smile, “I want this empty in 20 min”, “iii, I can’t drink all of that”, you whine at the sight of a 1l cup. “Humor me. Down that then a cracker then painkillers”, he sits on the edge of the sofa, hand instantly drawing circles onto your thighs. “Are you gonna watch me drink?”, you ask after a moment of him just looking at you. “That’s exactly what’s going to happen”, he shrugs, making you let out a slight chuckle.
Ivy
The dim lights are a dead giveaway of what has finally caught up to you. So he’s trying to be as quiet as possible as he moves across your shared apartment, only to find you with your head against the toilet bowl. “Hun”, he sighs, “you should have called”, kneeling beside you, Ivy pushes a strand of hair away from your pale face. Your eyes barely open as you look up at him. “Did you get sick?”, he asks watching as you slowly shake your head.
“Do I want to know how long you have been sitting here like this?”, he moves over as you once again shake your head. “I will lift you, okay?” You don’t answer him, simply reaching one hand to him before slumping into his chest. “I’ve got you now”, he breathes against your forehead, “Will take care of you”. And he does just that. Bringing you your meds and water. Some ginger biscuits for nausea, before climbing into bed next to you. Slowly moving his fingers through your scalp. Massaging the tender skin. Staying up all night through your restless sleep, making sure you drink your meds in needed timeframe or drink some water every time you wake up.
#sleep token x reader#sleep token x you#sleep token imagine#sleep token fanfiction#sleep token ii imagine#sleep token ii x reader#sleep token iii imagine#sleep token iii x reader#sleep token iv imagine#sleep token iv x reader#sleep toksn vessel x reader#sleep token vessel x reader
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(re; ready to hear beef)
Always o7
there are several stages to the beef i have, but starting off:
toxic positivity - everyone says they're suprised when something bad happens in the fandom because "everyone's so nice!", like the previous isat-confessions blog or the person who shipped bonnie and siffrin. it's almost impossible to keep a fandom safe if you're constantly thinking, "no that wouldnt happen here, everyone here is too nice!". and as a part of this, most people are afraid to say anything against the dev themselves. i noticed it a lot with some of the questionable official merch - and ESPECIALLY with how the physical copy covers turned out. several people were thinking it looked badly made, but were surprised to see others felt the same/scared to say anything out against it. why? because the fandom has nurtured this idea that Nothing Can Go Wrong Here. this is also in part with how the dev treats their audience and the franchise as a whole.
refusing deviation - at first this sounds weird, but i mean that the majority of the fandom refuses to create their own idea from the game that isn't 100% what the dev wanted it. so many asks are about what is "okay" to make based off it, what they're allowed to do with the characters and what they're allowed to change. everything bends at the dev's words, i have rarely seen someone actually make something their own based on the game. i have yet to see (in my personal experience here), someone take one of the characters and change them entirely based to what they'd like the story to be. sure, people have made AU's based on if mira or isa or odile or any other character was the one in the loops instead, but all of it is stringent on if it Fits With What The Dev Said About The Game. instead of taking the game they loved and making it their own, it has to be part of the rules that were given. i mean look at the undertale fandom, look at all the sans' versions and the different AU's that were made based on the game. in the ISAT fandom there are few AU's that aren't just meant to be sequels or spinoffs to the game itself. this also makes it hard to have a differing opinion on official art, on popular ships (like isafrin and sifloop), and having differing thoughts to the dev. people are simply afraid to disagree because it would disrupt such a "nice and welcoming community"
romanticization of mental illness - this ties into the toxic positivity, but i can't name how many times someone has said "im so siffrin!" and enjoyed that they refused to communicate with their friends. i have witnessed firsthand just how easy it is to fall into the thought that being siffrincore is funny and cute and will get me the same happy ending that siffrin had. but it's not, and as a fandom there is some idea that being "So siffrin" is desirable. i also really don't appreciate how quick the fandom is to push plurality on it's members. over half the people i used to follow turned out to be plural - and while i have nothing against those of plurality - i am a little dubious of it's reality when each one of them had dozens of asks pushing that they had to be plural from the experiences they had. armchair diagnosing really does not work when you are only seeing a few posts a day. and even then instead of offering resources to prove or deny their suspicions, it is once again glorified into "youre finally one of us now! youre so siffrincore!"
i mean legitimately no hate with all of this. i am easily proven wrong with these and i understand that, and if you align with any of these that's none of my concern. but it really is turning into DCA fandom 2.0 and if it wasnt for the fact that selling merch is frowned upon by The Godly Dev we'd have so many more money scams than we'd know what to do with. if you dont like something please just say it and don't keep the peace.
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You’ve mentioned it a few times but I’m actually really curious as to April’s reaction toward them shit-talking Donnie? Particularly the first time, but in general, too, because the only thing resembling that is her pressing the boys about Donnie not acting off unless something is wrong. We (obviously) only really see the curse from Donnie’s perspective, very occasionally one of the boys mention their perspective, but nothing from the outsiders! Splinter makes me curious too, but he only had his accidental gaslighting scene, so 🫠
the only indication that it was happening was that first phone call where she mentioned mikey saying some nasty things to her through text, and she was generally being very forgiving about it. "he was just venting" was probably something she attributed to MOST of their weird behavior about donnie, but i still think they held back around her at least a LITTLE because if it got too bad she would call it out. april wouldn't want to thought-police, and sometimes their complaints were more funny than they were harmful (oooh how she must regret laughing with them now, like donnie's undeniably who she's closest with out of the four but she doesn't take his shit so i could see her finding it funny and harmless... little does she know), but once they crossed a certain point she'd tell them they were just being vindictive and shitty. there's no way they haven't gone to her complaining about each other in the past, its inevitable that you're gonna have grievances when you live with someone and april's really the closest friend they've got, although she's not always up for putting up with it PFFT. i could also see her thinking they want advice, or giving solutions to their "problems" (because i think she'd find venting for the sake of it a little aggravating? very solution oriented person imo), and they straight up just lied to her and said they'd listen and then did nothing lmao.
really they all lead april and splinter on just like they did donnie, with all of their worst moves they planned around it and intentionally threw them off the trail. honestly when it came to things like that first phone call and the one on the rooftop, i could also see it as an intentional play to get april IN on it, although it didn't really. work lmfao, she could tell something was off, even if she didn't have reason to suspect the depth of it. i dont have reason to write from their POVs but they are both going through some shiiiit, they really got CONNED and they both feel so ashamed about it. they're doing what they can to rectify it now, but its causing a lot of self-doubt. i could see both of them being almost over-attentive after this is said and done. they both certainly feel like they were way too negligent.
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NO BUT LITREALY lumity is legitmently such an utter mess the more i think abt it that it lowky reminds me of catradora in a way(but not as bad) i would far rather they have willow and luz be end game, im not even a willow fan but its less insulting then luz instantly dating a girl who bullied her friend for years
Yeah i remember the song doing that n its still so weird to me how some ppl keep defending it-i highly doubt ppl would try to defend it if g1 did something like that
Oh yeah she was definitely implied to be Aboriginal, Aboriginal or Māori due to the tattoos on her dad, granted she would be biracial Indigenous & white due to her mom(her mom is a water nymph so greek) its weird to me how ppl keep insisting she was just a white girl in g1 cus of dumb reasons like her being blonde, having green eyes & “light skin”(shes just blue😭) when its obv she’s not , some ppl argue shes still implied Indigenous in g3 which while yes true Indigenous latines & Aboriginal/Māori folk arent the same and acting as if any representation of an Indigenous person is representive of all Indigenous cultures is weird af 😐 (also yeah your spot on about Brazilians-as a Brazilian myself its so frustrating how there is little to no representation for us likely due to us not speaking spanish, i was actually excited at first for lagoona being latina now cus the creature from the black lagoon is specifically located in the amazon which is in Brazil but turns out she wasnt)
My friend did note that both the mummy & the frankenstein monster in the classic universal films were played by the same actor which i think is a cute detail about clankie but i just overall cant say im a fan of it or at least how its tackled (the fans make the pairing even less enjoyable their so damn insufferable)
Yeah i agree about nefera shes such a nothing character now, it feels like they wanted to do helga & olga but didnt get why that one worked so well, the whole point of clawdeens siblings vs cleos sister was to show the differences between a healthy relationship between siblings vs a toxic one i mean hell clawdeen even had a big sister like cleo
Honestly g3 cleos voice is so damn funny to me cus its litrealy just amanitas voice😂
G3 toralei is so weird cus they obv wanted her to be punk w her first doll but were too scared to actually go there so instead they went more 80s glam and rave which just dont rlly work for toralei, i mean her band is litrealy called hissfits a pun on missfits a punk band yet like you said she just sings pop-rock songs, g1 toralei was definitely punk the only character & doll in g3 id say are actually punk is venus & welcome comittee frankie which is weird cus g3 frankie is supposed to be “DIY punk” yet they only ever dress in prepy fashion , g1s punk characters were based on a more toned down verison of punk yeah but they were still punk regardless
Tbh im canadian too n i dont rlly mind ghoulia being canadian not being mentioned much-mainly cus idk what they couls do to mention it 🤷🏽♂️ i also dont think a voice actor needs to perfectly match the characters appearance unless the character is disabled or has an accent cus we wont see them but also cus i care way more abt how they eruased her being autistic coded & had her speak, yes she “technically” spoke in g1 but not only are not all languages verbal ones(such as ASL) but also to the audience she was mute , alot of nonverbal autistic ppl noted that they communicate in a similar way she does besides she displayed other autistic traits like hating change , needing a schudule, having a special interest , struggling to express herself etc, only to now have all of that gone in g3 not to mention even her implied physical disability is removed in g3, she doesnt have a hunch n moves just like everyone else does most we get is “oh she needs a skateboard to move around better” which is such a dumb way to represent a mobility aid - i do fully understand foxford & bunny tho , i do think they should have done a better job at estiblishing them ceing icelandic n welsh at least give them an accent, but for bunny her having an actor w down syndrome is extremely important, down syndrome does effect someones speech pattern its important to make sure her voice actor has the same speech pattern as a neurotypical/able bodied person cant do that, granted i also am just in general burnt out on wereanimals in MH 😅 thats all we get now n its so damn lazy n boring, i would far rather if they picked an entirely different welsh folklore monster for bunny n made foxford something like idk a kitsune(just as an example) just anything but a wereanimal
Monster high G3 rant
Watching the TV series and I’m kind of disappointed.
This will be my second watch of season 1, I’m rewatching after the current season 2 episodes.
the show feels very flat in my opinion. They’ve given the characters a lot of cool traits, but they’re used for like one episode and then never brought up, or they only use one specific trait 24/7. Like Frankie in this generation, they have the ability to electrocute, extend their body parts, and they get visions from the people they’re made out of. Specifically they get visions from this one recurring doctor/ scientist. The idea is cool, but the vision literally is there to give exposition about something conveniently. Like when they are trying to solve the puzzle of clawdeens mom, Frankie’s vision just conveniently tells them what to do and how to do it.
In that same episode, we see manny taur. A Minotaur character. And right away we are just told that he’s good at puzzle solving, and so is draculaura! They’re rivals! But this is the first time I’ve ever seen or heard about draculaura being into puzzles, let alone her one sided rivalry with manny. And as the episode ends, she’s like “well you can be the rightful puzzle master” but it feels so flat. There has been no build up to this moment.
Another example is lagoona. In her designated episode, she is rooting for torelai to win the fear-leading captain over draculaura (another thing that has no build up as to why it’s important to her) lagoona explains that torelai is holding a secret over her head, and if it gets out she will lose her status as the fiercest monster in school. But this is the first time we have heard this!! In previous episodes there’s no mention of her being scary or fierce. Or even her super fast swimming skills. It’s just brought up and glosses over with a “be who you are, it’s okay to like what you want! We all have secrets 🥹” but there’s no real character development.
My last example will be the way draculaura is presented in this series. From what she tells us, she has high standards to live up to as a vampire. She needs to look good for her day so she studies endlessly and is striving for perfection. But she also has a love for witchcraft, which is banned in monster high due to its connections to humans. This can be a cute premise, but they NEVER show draculaura compared to any other vampire to show how she’s supposed to act. They never give us episodes where she blows off her friend’s shenanigans because it makes her look bad, and they never really show her dad being so overbearing. They don’t show us WHY humans are hated. And even though witchcraft is banned, whenever anyone finds out about it they’re just cool with it? No push back or anything. The only character to challenge draculaura was torelai.
This all may be very nitpicky, but MH is a character driven franchise. Character relationships with each other and their surroundings are very important to me. I want to feel the so called pressure these characters are being put under. It doesn’t have to be ultra serious 24/7, but issues get resolved within one episode and then rehashed a few episodes later with no further development. Especially with characters like Cleo and lagoona. They have been benched as side characters in this show, and side characters get much worse treatment.
‘The general episode progression is like this - introduce an issue, introduce a high stakes situation that involves the school, have all or one of the main 3 engage in a sequence of fights against this issue(or rapid solving of said issue through convince) - issue is resolved and lesson is told to viewers-characters reset for the next episode.
I know this is a children’s show, but that doesn’t mean it needs to have bad writing, not all kids are high off cocomelon. Kids deserve good writing in their media!
My next rant will be about clawdeen and her story this generation
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"The english rgu dub is awful!" This is what being a middle schooler forced to act in a play that you were born in and don't understand created to enforce rules and fake harmful roles of abusers and victims does to a mf
#this is a joke#i never watched the whole rgu english dub and what ive heard of it was BAD#but it's so bad it's weird. and a little funny even#so i can turn it into one of the shows theme. to me#school-play-that-is-society-core#rgu#revolutionary girl utena
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I absolutely really need to be writing anything but random ideas while I procrastinate and this is so awful rough bc I literally wrote it on my phone in one sitting while avoiding work but
Do you see my vision. Her Nosy Bitch Syndrome would actually be good for him when they've both chilled out a little in the postcanon.
#fic#wip#i know its weird that im writing about shuro getting a crush on marcille when i have no intentions of letting that go anywhere#but the idea wont leave my head. he would end up liking her for the same reasons the toudens latched onto her#she's weird and awful in her own way but she's honest about it. you never have to second guess yourself with her#because she wears her heart on her sleeve and is so bad at not doing so#she's not afraid to Speak Up and advocate for herself so you can trust her to push back if you lean on her too hard#maybe i just have terminal blorboism. i want to see her be freaky good at learning eastern magic#and maybe even cry a little bc calligraphy gives her that same calm feeling that braiding her hair used to#and she didnt think she'd ever find another meditation routine that actually fits her#also its just. wouldnt it be so funny. if falin was worried about them not getting along bc marcille is jealous#and then actually visiting and seeing the way shuro looks at her and going#oh no you dont. thats MY elf get your own!!!!!
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I really want to take somebody into like an abandoned building and chase them the fuck down, you know? It’s so much more scary that way, neither of us know the layout, you won’t know where any hiding places are, I’ll get frustrated trying to find you and it’ll only make me more determined, and then I fuck you into the floor when I finally catch you. Sounds good, doesn’t it?
#femdxm#predator#prey#male prey#female pred#rough kink#hnnnngh#like I get to force you to the ground and watch you squirm#maybe cry a little#idk man#I’m tired#my sleep schedule is so weird right now#these tags are like#bad#can’t find the energy to be even remotely funny today#but yeah abandoned buildings are underrated#like why go into the dirty ass woods when I can tackle you onto concrete or tile floor#plus there’s less chance of getting bugs on us#ew#anyway#these are probably too long#haha#ok#bye
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hhhhidea...,,,, CUTE idea (kinda?) dust reading to phantom papyrus during night to lull him to sleep,,,, but really its just a way for him to pretend that everythings not really that shit (as if phantom paps isn't just dust's denial incarnate) and to help him NOT wake up because of a nightmare again or something
(and just because i can't resist now im imagining this with mtt. not that dust stopped reading to paps in place of killer and horror (because he wouldnt he simply wouldn't) but now the two join them for storytime. horror knocks out pretty damn fast and eventually dust falls asleep too after he makes sure that paps is satisfied with the amount he read and then killer's just left to sit there. maybe he tries to fall asleep maybe he doesn't,,,, maybe he picks up the book and continues reading but EITHERWAY,,,,,, this scene in my head so 💥💥💥😇😇😇)
#sweet soft mtt taking OVER triglycercule's brain has been invaded with them.........#horror probably sleeps like a rock man. dust is a very very very light sleeper. killer doesn't sleep at all and when he does#its just like that half asleep state. better than nothing tho....... those weeks of not sleeping probably leads to the most delicious naps#now in an ideal world killer learns to get a proper sleep schedule even if he can't feel his exhaustion#however in MY mtt dominated world killer doesn't fix his sleep habits and instead just takes a shitton of naps everywhere#they killerfied the house (made everything softer to sleep on) and killer always has 2 walking pillows to sleep on#sure he might not get 8 hours of sleep like during night. but he got that over the day so its ok TRUSY#this surely wont have any bad side effects but whatever its the mtt since when do they care about PROPER habits. if it works it works#ik i aaaaalways say hrkl wouldn't like phantom paps and find it weird but also now im considering#like. them being jealous of dust for always having kinda papyrus with him#like damn..... horror fucked up his brother permanently. he will never get the old paps back#and killer doesnt want to see his papyrus again because then he thinks hell just ruin everything again#but dust gets to talk and laugh and joke with his paps all the time!!! he got it better than them and thats just cus he hallucinates!!!! wt#i mean phantom paps isnt a 1:1 version of papyrus but hes close enough in my eyes#another idea....... horror (and maybe killer if he warms up to it) hanging out with dust JUST to talk to phantom paps#dust could easily just lie about what phantom paps says (although unless he had a reason he wouldnt risk upsetting paps like that methinks)#but theres something there. something something toxic mttpoly dynamic or whatever idc man. im in the mood for FLUFF!!!!!!!!!!#i think it would be funny if phantom paps says dusts deepest thoughts about hrkl. and then if he wants to say it dust has to filter it a LO#they could be sitting near killer and phantom paps would provide a detailed description of why killer has the mannerisms of a cat#and then dust would (hesitantly) agree to everything paps said (he was thinking it too) but when killer looks back at him#(he's been staring at killer for the past 10 minutes to see if what paps said was right) dust just says like. you remind me of a cat#OR BETTER YET he doesn't wanna admit that he thought of that so he just says paps says you remind him of a cat#insert horror version of this moment here. and killer quickly realizes that dust's just using papyrus as an excuse for why he says stuff#like that sometimes. horror just thinks dust's a weirdo freak (but unlike killer he takes the little observations to heart. loser)#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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just watched the borderlands movie and the only good part was that krieg’s little harness thingo lowkey looked like a very skimpy little bra thing sometimes
he needs some back support with those jugs ofc
#it wasn’t AS bad as I thought it would be#but it was not good#at all#idk why they changed so much of the story and just like Made It Worse#why did they make Tina’s dad head of atlas? why not just keep her parents killed off? why did they mischaracterise her so badly?#why was she annoying? why was she an experiment? why not use a more compelling villain than Guy Who Looks And Acts As Bland As Possible#the villain was simply. no good#I wish they used jack 😔#I also wish they didn’t do the Lilith’s mum subplot bc it was a little off??? somehow?#and Tannis and Lilith’s relationship wasn’t particularly fulfilling#claptrap was even more annoying#the jokes weren’t funny#the sfx were NOT as bad as everyone said they were I’m sorry I thought they were fine aside from a few weird shots in some chase sequences#another thing I don’t get that much was ppl hating Lilith’s hair bc it’s doesn’t look like in the games#ppl compared the wig to wigs that cosplayers use that look rly accurate and good but#u have to take into account#that it’s rly hard to stylise a live action movie to look something like boarderlands and most cosplays are made to look good statically#things that look good in cosplay and in the game will not look good in a live action action sequences#like if u gave her a cosplay wig it would look great and accurate but it also would be completely rigged in the wind and would not move#like real hair#which would probably be incredibly jarring to see in a live action film especially with all the action#was the hair great? no. I still think it could’ve been vastly improved on while remaining realistic for a live action movie#but I think some people hold it to unrealistic standards in their criticisms or whatever#also costumes have to be actually movable and breathable bc REAL people are shooting REAL scenes and doing stunts and shit in them#but. yeah. the costumes could definitely have had some improvement#I think that if u wanted to make a borderlands film that was accurate to the design of the characters it would be easier to do it animated#and the writing?#we do not speak about the writing good lord#borderlands movie#borderlands
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡
So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.
At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.
Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.
I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.
So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.
If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.
#spotatalk#i'm just gonna drop this in the queue I guess?#but I'm writing this on the last day of june so....#whenever this rolls around will be a jumpscare abd a half I guess?#I think honestly I coukd do a full breakdown of the Crew and why they're all expressions of me but like#quick summary is#Reset: Wants approval from people but mostly clings to the past. is afraid of losing his brother and acts on it to bring him back. i#<- I lack that conviction to do whatever you have to to get your way. i worry my brother and I have a weird gap between us we wont repair#Orchid: Uhhh woman. lots of pressure that she had at one time that's now no being pressed but she still tries to live up to it also.#<- I don't like the pressure of being a woman. also gifted-kid who cannot move past the pressures imposed to be 'perfect' and it's screwed#Stereo: Pulled into a situation he doesn't want to be in initially. it's bad for him but he likes the people so he decides to stay#<- I see the good in people. even when they hurt others around me. I was a bystander often and should've left the situations. paralelling.#Monochrome: Afraid. No purpose or preperation in life. soneone offers to guide him and he takes that offer because it's better than home.#<- Kinda self-explanitory but I've got little direction and feel lost a lot of the time. If I'm given a path I usually walk it no hesitation#and... for fun let's do some others!#Haphazard: Cleaning up after others since childhood. he's never really gotten a break and sees any sort of mess as an enemy#-> He's fixing rifts in universes I gotta patch relationships. there's so much conflict and I'm always so overwhelmed by it#Lost: He's got amnesia. no clue where he is. where he's from. who you are. who he is. he'll know when he gets there. he's sure.#-> I've been hsving minor issues with my memory for years. i coukd be forgetful but sometimes it just escapes me and that's spooky#Teddy: Isolated in her universe for years. she self-mutilated until she liked herself. when she finally met people she compulsively lied#-> Much more extreme version of how isolated I sonetines feel. hobbies can't replace human interaction but it's hard#oh and Ichor: God who loves mortals but cannot seem to find ones who will prove hin right for his trust and care#<- I've got a big heart. i express it often but the sentinent is scoffed off a lot. I get beat down about it and just keep moving forward#Pretender: Knows who he is. however the world doesn't like it much so he acts how they expect him to or isolates away#<- I still present femme when I'm nb/agender. i bend and break to people's perception of me. if I can't solve something I run.#okay I feel more insane than when ai started but these stupid skeletons have helped me through so many mental health problems it's only a#little bit funny 🙏
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