#but it's not about the smell itself i just associate it with the character now

[gray-ace-space]

When people talk about scent sexual attraction do they mean natural musk or perfumery? Because I do think I experience attraction to, say, Jo Malone or Lush scents but idk if that's what people mean. Jasmine, for example, is very delicate and sensual to me.

i have no clue, all of this sounds fake to me. *pushes aziraphale themed scented candle out of view* don't look at that it's not relevant

[self-loving-vampire]

I get that the standard answer to "why do people find smoking sexy even now?" is "because of a mass marketing campaign from over a century ago" but that answer doesn't fully satisfy my curiosity, specifically about the mechanisms of how something like that works.

I suspect part of what gets left out of conversations about that it is that a lot of people are terminally celebrity-brained and readily adopt whatever image famous Hollywood actors (pre-internet influencers) popularize.

But when you sincerely don't care about that the perception of smoking seems very different.

In my own case I am also pretty much a dog in human form and can't stand the smell, which persists even when someone isn't currently smoking. It sticks to clothes and hair and even their furniture.

And the whole "smoking is edgy and rebellious" thing falls apart when you know how manufactured and arbitrary it is.

That part, by itself, is not automatically a dealbreaker. For example, I think chest sarashi looks really cool even though it's literally just a piece of cloth with no inherent "cool" qualities but a few cultural associations that tie it to some of my kinks.

But smoking has very different associations for me than I imagine it does for the type of person who finds it attractive.

It is also such a mainstream and popular symbol for "tough and rebellious" characters that it kind of ceases to be edgy to me. I don't assume smokers are cool rebels. I assume they are people who were influenced by celebrities, Hollywood, or peers to see smoking as cool and rebellious even at the cost of their health. A complete 180 into extreme conformism and submission to normative influence.

Smoking is "cool" because tobacco companies sank a ton of money into mainstreaming and popularizing it through conventionally-attractive celebrities and the like, so buying into their framing completely is not edgy. The image of smoking is too deliberate, too artificial, and too big.

A more sincerely rebellious person, in my view, would instead adopt aesthetics that they personally find cool but that normal society may instead see as cringe or ridiculous.

In other words, those fat, katana-wielding men wearing fedoras and criticizing religion that people used to make fun of have a more rebellious and independent spirit than a smoker does, to me.

[corawithfanfiction]

Russian I Chris Evans x Student!FemReader

Episode 1

MY MASTERLIST! - EVENTS! - HOME!

This is an original story and may not be copied or translated into another language without permission!

This story contains: some age discrimination, inappropriate language and behavior that may set a negative example. I advise you not to read it if you think you may be offended.

The protagonists and events, other than Chris Evans and his family, are entirely fictional and inspired by some published novels. There may be name similarities with the novel mentioned. Nothing you read in this story is true.

Author's Note: The title of the story is "Russian" and our character (Y/N) is of Russian origin, but you can think of the character's hometown however you want to associate it with yourself while reading.

Author's Note 2: I did not take the math course in English, I did some internet research and I hope I wrote it correctly. I would like to correct any mistakes, feel free to give feedback!

"Y/N", I can hear myself being called but my mind is elsewhere.

"- since what is given is already the function itself, we can take its derivative and fill in the blank."

"Hey, Y/N!"

"Don't forget to add +C to infinity, otherwise I will remember to give you a low grade on your exam paper."

"For God's sake Y/N, your lips are bleeding." As the professor finishes and is about to leave the classroom, you finally turn to Nancy who calls out to you.

"What?"

"Your lips, you gnawed them off, stupid." You ran your tongue across your lips and let the ugly taste of iron fill your mouth. Nancy is right to call you an idiot. Your lips are torn again by your absent-mindedness.

"Can you give me a handkerchief?" you say, pressing your fingers to your bleeding lips. Nancy is rummaging through her bag. When the rustling soon stops, you think you've found it and hold out your other hand to her. He shows you his middle finger. When you frown and look at his face, he rolls his eyes.

"I don't have any, go to the restroom." Just like her, you roll your eyes and try to get out of the cramped row. Because of your long legs, your knees are constantly touching the table and it's not as easy to get out of the line when you're bent double.

After giving Nancy a clean hand job, you leave the classroom. The corridor smells of sweaty basketball players' perfume and lunch. It's a familiar smell, but you prefer to close your nose and move forward.

In the girls' restroom, Jane and the her gang are freshening up.

You reach under the metal box mounted on the wall and watch as a piece of napkin comes out. Just as you are about to touch the soft object, a pair of hands adorned with light pink nail polish pluck the napkin away before you. Then your eyes follow Jane as she dries herself off and walks away down the hallway with a dirty grin on her face.

"Bitch," you whisper right after she leaves. You don't like trouble. You don't need to. You've stayed away from that stupid girl for as long as you can remember. According to your mother, 'decent' women like her should have 'decent' daughters who don't get into fights and prefer to be nasty in any situation. You are not exactly against this idea. But even your boyfriend Dave sometimes tells you that you have a foul mouth.

You hold the paper towel to your bleeding lip and press it until the pain subsides. Then you throw the bloody garbage where it belongs and look at yourself in the mirror. Your hair has grown quite long. You don't want to cut it. You haven't thought about it for a long time. Nancy said that you looked better with your hair the way it was now than ever.

Nancy, she's your best friend. She's Latina. Her dark skin and mesmerizing looks always have someone after her. Even though she's modest and says she can't help it, you're sure she knows how to shake her shapely ass left and right.

You are shaken out of your thoughts by a sudden headache. Your hand goes to your pocket, to your cell phone. You'll ask Nancy for your pain pills. But your phone is not there. You think you might have left it in the classroom and you walk out of the restroom, splashing some water on your face and drying your hands.

The unpleasant odor in the corridor persists. Since most of the blue metal cabinets are open, the hallway looks quite messy. There is a coffee stain from yesterday on the floor to your right. The cleaners at this school don't seem to like cleaning.

Your gaze shifts to the teenagers who are trying to pick up girls by exchanging words. The underclassmen seem to have gotten ahead of themselves and organized a meeting where they hit on girls during lunch break. The blond boy, whose name you absolutely cannot remember, gets slapped by a caramel-skinned girl. The books in the boy's hands fall to the floor and the girl kicks them.

A little further ahead is the 'state-ranked' soccer team that has been practicing all day. Their school uniforms, decorated in navy blue and grays, are sticky with sweat. Kevin - the goalkeeper - winks at you just before tightening the bandanna tied around his head, causing you to change your path. You are now in the hallway of the special skills classes. It has a more academic feel. Instead of party posters, the corkboards are filled with a few donation flyers about volunteering to protect the green.The doors are closed. There are three other students wandering around besides you. Two of them are leaning against the wall reading a book, while the third one is picking up expired flyers from the bulletin board and throwing them into a bag.

Before you pass them and turn into the other corridor leading to the classroom, a male voice catches your attention. You don't take the turn and lean your back against the wall.

"I told you never to call me about this again." You recognize the voice. Professor Evans. "And you're offering money, Yanus?" he pauses for a moment and then, in a voice that is clearly through clenched teeth, shouts at the person you guess is on the phone. "You're not going to get me involved in your shit."

At the sound of the phone hanging up, you pick yourself up from where you were, turn right and walk into the classroom, never looking back. Your eyes are tightly closed. You try to figure out what the conversation is about, but it's none of your business.

"Hey," says a voice. It's the professor. You quicken your pace. You try to cross the administrative corridor quickly so as not to give him a chance to catch up. As you hope your gait will save you, thin strong fingers wrap around your arm, causing you to turn around abruptly. "What did you hear?" he asks. You don't have an answer. Technically, you haven't heard anything.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Evans," you stammer. But it's clear from your accent that he doesn't understand. He lets go of her wrapped arm and lets the blood flow through his veins again.

It's hard not to admire his handsome face as his blue eyes glow in the dark. You can bet half the school is madly in love with this guy. With his auburn hair and breathtaking body, he makes flowers bloom wherever he steps. The youngest and most successful professor in the school.

"You heard me," he repeats. You look at him and shake your head from side to side.

"I'm sorry, sir, I really don't understand." You fold your hands in front of you and make an innocent face. You know you are good at lying. Your facial expressions never move and the moment you get carried away, even you will believe your own lie.

The professor puts his hands in his pockets and swaying on his feet. He looks like a boy who can't explain his feelings to the girl he likes. A big boy. He looks at his face again in disbelief. Skeptical. But no results. You're clean?

He shrugs his shoulders. When his phone rings, he looks like he's in a tangle. He looks at the screen of his latest touchscreen, frowns and looks at you. "Do your homework, Russian."

Russian?

The next day is Saturday. You're sitting on the couch with your ass splayed out waiting for Dave to call. He hasn't texted you or asked to talk to you since your big fight two days ago.

Dave works at a grocery store called Darryl's. You met him the day you went to buy diapers for his little sister, about 2.5 months ago, when he knocked over the whole shelf. You were mesmerized by her white skin and green eyes. You've been volunteering to buy Y/S/N baby necessities ever since, just to see him smile with his straight teeth. Of course, a genius like your mother knew right away that she had her eye on the boy there.

You had been lovers since the day you went to Darryl's for Christmas shopping at the end of December and took your virginity in the kitchenware warehouse, where there was a no-exclusives sign. He always tells you how much he likes that you're Russian.

He says that your hair and eyes give him a different flavor and that the time he spends with you is worth more than a black pearl.

On Thursday this week, you witnessed how he hit on a woman with a child in the store. He said he misunderstood her, that what he saw was an optical illusion. But even if it was a trick of the light, you knew what to believe because you heard him say to the blonde woman with your own ears, "You look pretty young for a woman with children." Dave was handsome, cool and good at everything. And you were sure he cared about you. But it was clear that he didn't only care about you.

When you told Nancy what happened, she said you overreacted a little too much and that you should take the first step towards reconciliation. You don't feel that way. You're sure you're hitting on that woman. Or… you don't know. You missed him.When you told Nancy what happened, she said you overreacted a little too much and that you should take the first step towards reconciliation. You don't feel that way. You're sure you're hitting on that woman. Or... you don't know. You missed him.

As your indecision creeps into your thoughts, you stop turning your phone in your hand, put it in the pocket of your sweatshirt and walk to your room. You have an idea in your mind that will help you reconcile and make her want you again.

You tear your pants off my legs and throw them aside. You climb on the bed.

You're joking, remembering that you've made love here twice. There's a stain on the closet mirror. You wipe the stain with the sleeve of your sweater and pull your underwear up to look sexy in the photo. You know she likes it that way.

You go into the app and search for my baby. She took down her profile picture.

Or did he block you? When I click on your name and check your profile, you see your last seen. You take a deep breath and take a photo, convinced you're not blocked;

Y/N: Hey, Big boy!

Hope you like it first chapter!

I am really excited about this new series, I am curious about your feedback :)

TAG LIST: @yiiiikesmish @nekoannie-chan @weevil-wallflower @darkrozesblog @svechniswift @@slavicangelmuah @lewisroscoelove @marvellover98 @shirluz @sleepisaturn @lena-jolie @deltarogers @gingerplague @rebelbossheart

[sambhavami]

Obligatory note: It's been a long time since I read the actual text...and this was originally written for me to hash out some character relationships stuff for my fictional works. :)

Now, welcome to my personal conspiracy-headcanon mashup. To understand Arjun/Bheem's reactions we need to understand Yudi first, right?

During the Dyuta Sabha, the Ps had a lot of things going on. To blame what happened entirely on Yudi's gambling would probably not be fair. As others here have pointed out, they were cornered both physically and politically (especially with Krishna very perfectly, for the Ks, locked in a deadly war).

Many people think (me included, up until a few months back) that Yudi's a weaker character, controlled entirely by Krishna, and that he sort of falls apart when Krishna isn't around. But, that isn't entirely true. Yudhishthir is remarkably smart. His only problem in this regard is that he associates the greatest with Krishna, the record-smashing, powerhouse of a politician, who dwarfs everyone else simply by being in the room.

Hence, the only times we get to see Yudi's strategies playing out independently are during Varnavat, and Dyuta Sabha (Vana Parva shows his standalone intelligence, and Udyoga Parva features his farsightedness).

During Varnavat, when they are leaving...this is a small detail, but Yudhishthir creates a proper ruckus before they leave. He's crying and sobbing, he's falling on everyone's feet- solidly weirding out at least half of the extended family elders...as one writer so eloquently put it: like 'a bride on her bidai'.

Point is, Yudi smells out that something's wrong with this sudden all-expenses-paid trip, even before Vidur gets to him with his hints and stuff. What Yudi is doing here is that he is acting weird (and loud) to the point that even a commoner seeing their chariots from afar would notice something's fishy.

Yudi's style is always to play the long con. And he values the common man. Rather, he knows the value of public support. This is something even Dury values, but his method of securing said support is just to throw money at them mostly.

Yudi always wants to make a more permanent impact in this department.

You remember how in Varnavat, Kunti leaves a nishada mother and her 5 sons to die in the fire? I was thinking, did Yudi not inherit even 1% of that steadfast (cruel?) determination? (I mean Krishna is Kunti's suyogya nephew in this regard!). Yudi sure didn't object to his mother's plan then.

Then, after Draupadi's swayamvar, Yudi is the one to recognize the seeds of discord b/w the brothers, and nips it in the bud by using Kunti's words. Once Krishna is in the picture, we see Yudi kinda sorta let up, he lets Krishna make some executive decisions regarding Indraprastha, and the rajasuya. Obviously, he trusts Krishna fully, and even Krishna gets the time to really recognize Yudi's subtle undercurrent-ish strategies.

So, it's not totally weird that the younglings trust him so much. The dice game might have activated Yudi's gambling issues exacerbated by his somewhat compulsive desire to be polite at all costs, but he wasn't rendered completely senseless.

On IF I saw one member theorizing about how Yudhishthir is phrasing sentences when the guard is sent to Draupadi at first. It's like he's almost sending a message to Draupadi.

Combining the above, with my own little theory here...Yudi realised pretty much immediately that he is walking into a trap, and so walk he did. He had faith that even if his brothers (and wife) were furious with him, they would still not react, and let Yudi play it out first.

The seeds of Kurukshetra were sown generations back. If we want to push it, we can push the origins of this conflict to the very first Deva-Asur war itself!

Even in their generation they had Krishna and Jarasandha, Drupada and Drona, Kauravas and Panchalas, the growing intra-Yadav complications, the Kaurava family matter, and so many other such conflicts. The world was already barrelling towards the mega-war at record speed. With Krishna and Drupada aligning themselves with the Ps, and Duryodhana rapidly filling the vacuum left by Jarasandha, Yudhishthira would also have guess that the war would happen in their lifetime. And in this uber-polarized situation, situated right between Krishna and Duryodhana, Yudhishthira would definitely end up in the middle of all of it.

When Yudi found the war to be inevitable, he gave up trying to really stop it and instead focused on how they could come out of this smelling like roses. In case of war, Yudi was never getting Dury's loyal vassal kingdoms. Obviously! And Krishna had antagonized more that half of the subcontinent while fighting Jarasandha (none of whom would fight on the side of Krishna's friends!), so Yudi wasn't getting them either! Then, the only remaining option was to somehow drag the sort-of neutral kingdoms into this mess.

The neutral kingdoms all had remained neutral for a reason. These people never really got involved in anything. The only thing that would drag them in, would have to be something outrageous. Something, that no conscientious person/kingdom could ignore. Something like a royal woman being assaulted mid-sabha. Something that would hit two birds...force the neutral kingdoms to choose a side, and irrevocably tip the public opinion in the Pandavas' favour.

If Yudi pushed Draupadi into this intentionally, then he was also ensuring that the Kaurava soldiers would fight against, but with a broken heart all that time, just like the elders of the family (and consequently will be about half as effective).

Now obviously, this is just a theory, and I'd be a lot more afraid of Yudi if this were indeed true. However, it is still fun to imagine, and I can't resist that!

But then, when Draupadi asks Yudi directly if what he did was legal or not, he stays silent. See, normally, Yudi LOVES a good debate. If he had genuinely thought he was right (or at least legally in the clear) in doing what he did, he would argue with Draupadi to the end of the world, but he doesn't!

Again, Draupadi is a legal genius herself, there's no doubt about that. So, when Draupadi is asking that question, she isn't actually asking the question. Draupadi is only further appalled when nobody acknowledges that she's right in saying that Yudi had no right to stake her. A law after all, is only a law if the wider society agrees that it is. In Drau's case, no one had the guts (except Vidur and Vikarna) to stand with her and support the law that she cited.

Maybe, Yudi had anticipated this would happen? That the Ks would let their animalistic side win over the logical one, and dig themselves a hole they can't really climb out of? But then again, I would be very scared of the man, then.

Coming to the brothers' loyalty. Obviously, they've (and Draupadi) lived with the intelligent Yudi for a long time. Long enough to know how he plays his game, and even if they don't like his approaches, they know that it will still help them achieve their final goal, which is to obtain and then stay on the throne of Hastinapura (the staying part they can't do without solid public support in the long run).

As for how much they value Draupadi, I think the brothers have proven themselves several times after that. Bheem a little louder, Arjun a little quieter, but they have.

[poorly-written-fiction]

replay (logan howlett x oc) chapter 3 - teenage dream

A/N: hello everyone! chapter 3 is here! this one is obviously inspired by katy perry's "teenage dream" which i started associating with hugh jackman after that one video he did lipsyncing to the song. concept made me giggle. this was actually the very first thing i wrote about logan and inez together, and from there, inez became a character of her own! i hope you all enjoy.

Summary: Kate invites Inez to some "girl time".

word count: 1600

tags: canon x oc, logan howlett x oc, mutant! oc, slow burn, enemies/rivals to lovers, some swearing, inez is "white girl dancing" and logan has A Reaction™, spelling and grammar errors because i didn't proofread too hard, okay bye i hope you enjoy

===============================================================

In the weeks that followed, Inez hadn’t gone to help Logan like she usually would have for his classes in the mornings. As much as she felt guilty for what she said, there was a small part of her that felt spiteful. Despite her anger, she couldn’t escape her helpful and loyal nature. As much as she wanted to jam her claws and teeth into Logan every time he looked at her, there was a small part of her that only felt satisfied by helping him. Maybe it was her pride, knowing that there was something she was good at that he was terrible at. Maybe it was the fact that she was always a team player. She didn’t know, and she didn’t care as long as it kept him from trying to talk to her.

It was early one Monday morning when she had passed by his classroom. He wasn’t there, of course he wouldn’t be there until then minutes before class started. Inez rolled her eyes, and placed a hand on the door. “If the door is unlocked, I’ll just get everything plugged in and turned on so he won’t try to ask me for help. If I can’t get in, then he’s shit out of luck,” she thought bitterly. She took the door’s handle into her hand, and pushed. The door swished open quietly. Inez felt like an inexperienced criminal who hadn’t done anything wrong yet, but it was too late to turn back now. She worked as fast as she could, not wanting anyone to find out what she was doing. It was now her dirty secret. She left almost as quickly as she came in, and she slipped away before anyone knew she had been there.

At 7:45, Logan walked into his classroom, finding already been set up for him. He paused for a moment, trying to think back to last Friday. Had he completely forgotten to shut everything down? He walked over to his desk, checking through his files, making sure nothing had been disturbed. No signs of life anywhere, He took a deep breath, and as he sighed, the realization hit him. He could smell the very faint scent of Inez. He called out to her, but she wasn’t in the room. He shook his head, thinking passively about how kind she had been to help him. There was a slight pang of guilt that hit him, he wasn’t blind to the fact that he had upset her. He sipped his coffee and brushed it off, deciding that dwelling on it wasn’t going to help anything.

================================================

The rest of the week went by quickly and uneventfully. It was one of those rare times of peace and quiet around X Mansion. The world itself was more peaceful than usual, so everyone was able to collectively sigh with relief. It felt like there was no weight of priorities or hell breaking loose in the world. The students were all in relatively good spirits as well, which made work easy for the professors. On Friday evening, Inez found herself sitting at the kitchen counter, organizing some spare electronic pieces she had kept on hand from a few of the previous projects she had worked on. She didn’t want to hold onto any parts if they didn’t work. 

“Hey Wolfy, how’s the project going?” Kate leaned in the doorway, smiling. Inez had been so deep in her thoughts, she didn’t hear Kate in the area. 

“I mean, it’s just a bunch of scraps. I’m mostly checking to make sure I didn’t keep them for no reason.” Inez collected the loose pieces and put them in a small box she kept handy for spare parts.

Kate walked over and sat next to Inez, “Well, if you’re not busy, I was wondering if you’d like to do something. It’s a Friday night, everyone else is either busy or sleeping, and I thought it’d be fun to have some ‘girl time’?”

“It sounds like you already have a plan in mind?” Inez eyed her friend with faux suspicion. Kitty never had bad ideas, just questionable ideas.

================================================

Several hours - and several alcoholic drinks later - the two girls were laughing, dancing, and “living their best lives” as they say. The mansion was still aside from the alcohol-induced joy the girls were radiating. They decided to make the living room their makeshift nightclub. Alcohol wasn’t allowed on the premises, but Kate had learned a thing or two about hiding some cans of seltzer. They mixed the alcohol with some juice to make it go down easier, and before too long, they were having a wonderful time together. The girls had enough wherewithal not to do anything stupid, except maybe play their music a little louder than what was preferred. Thankfully, the mansion was almost empty, which meant no one was really around to scold them.

Except maybe one person.

Logan’s senses were under attack from the girls’ shenanigans. The sound of the music and the smell of the alcohol were the most prominent. He had come downstairs to grab a beer he had hidden himself, and saw the girls dancing and having a great time. Part of him was warmed to see them so happy, and another part of him was annoyed, because of how loud the music was. He decided not to disturb them, and slipped into the kitchen without catching their attention. The Wolverine wasn’t exactly known for liking girly pop music, but he tried to ignore it as much as he could as he drank his beer in the kitchen. He couldn’t lie, it did make him smile to see Kate having fun with friends, even if he and Inez didn’t get along at the best of times. She was just a little too much like him, but in this moment he saw a side of her that she hadn’t shown very much. She actually seemed like fun in this state. The twinge of guilt hit him again.

Maybe things could be different.

Before he could get too lost in his thoughts, the girls were giggling excitedly, “Oh my god, I love this song!” The song playing was “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry, which in truth wasn’t either of the girls' favorite song, but they knew the words and it was catchy enough that they were having a good time.

“You make me

Feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream

The way you turn me on, I can't sleep

Let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back”

Inez swung her hips to the beat of the song, rolling her shoulders and tossing her hair around. In this moment she was the definition of “dance like no one is watching”. Except Logan had been watching, but she hadn’t noticed him yet, so she had no reason to feel embarrassed. Kate could now see Logan in the kitchen, sipping his beer and smiling at them. She smiled back, but didn’t pay him too much attention, continuing to dance with her friend.

“I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans

Be your teenage dream tonight

Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans

Be your teenage dream tonight”

Inez ran her hands from her chest down to her legs, still swaying and rocking with the beat. Something about that suddenly made Logan inhale sharply, mid-sip, sending him into a coughing fit. Inez whipped around quickly, suddenly feeling very sober, and very mortified. Kate, who had noticed Logan, started laughing. She didn’t know whose reaction was better - Inez's or Logan’s.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you I-” Logan was at a loss for words, still trying to clear his airways from the alcohol.

Inez yelled, “How long have you been watching us?!” Her body was hot - she was already warm from the alcohol and the dancing, but now she felt like her body was on fire. She was embarrassed. She barely let anyone see her with her guard down, especially not Logan. She wanted to be her toughest self around him. She didn’t even let him answer before she left the room, leaving quickly to get out of the situation she was now in. She was already up the stairs, heading to her room before Logan could follow her.

“You might want to give her a second,” Kate suggested, a smile still on her face. “It might actually be better if I go talk to her.”

Upstairs, Inez was in the bathroom splashing water on her face, trying to cool down. She was definitely sober now, and kept reliving and replaying the moment in her head. She genuinely wondered how long Logan had been watching. What was he thinking? She didn’t want to think about it for too long. She walked out of the bathroom and straight to her room, silently hoping there was still enough alcohol in her system that maybe she would still forget the events by morning.

Logan wasn’t any better. He couldn’t stop asking himself why he had reacted like that. She wasn’t anyone special to him, she was just Inez, the stupid little pup who would mouth off to him, or side-eye him every chance she got. But in that moment, she was something. She was always fearless and carried herself with a lot of confidence, but when she was dancing in the living room, she was entirely herself. She was radiant. Logan couldn’t think straight for the rest of the night, and questioned himself at every chance he got. It kept him awake for a long while before he could shake the feeling enough to get some sleep.

[astreinomane]

Now I gotta ask back

Elmax headcanons??

Also what song remind you of them that's not "running up the hill" xD

Well, I already made a post about this (here), but I can easily give you new ones.

El is fascinated by Max's red hair. Like, she loves to immerse her face in it, and smell it. Max is flustered, but she lets El do this, because she secretly loves this kind of attention.

At the same time, Max is fascinated by El's powers.

She thinks they are SO cool, and, while El doesn't exactly like her powers, since they remind her of her traumatic childhood at the Lab, she blushes everytime Max defines her as a supergirl.

El is just really flustered by the fact Max sees her powers as something cool, and not as something that makes her a monster, like a lot of other people.

Max obviously reassures El everytime she has those kind of doubts, telling her that she could never see her as a monster.

For Max, El is and always will be the best thing that ever happened in Max's shitty life, with or without powers.

El is shocked, because no one ever said such kind things to her ever, but it makes her at the same time SO glad to have Max in her life.

And, now knowing that Max is impressed and not scared by her powers, El makes sure to never lose occasion to impress the redhead with them.

It works everytime.

(This is Max's reaction everytime she sees what El can do with her powers.

She LOVES her supergirlfriend SO much.)

About the song, I'm not the kind of person who associates characters or ships with song, so I don't have anything in mind, sorry.

But thank you SO SO much for the ask anyway, @broke-art-girl.

(Also, sorry for the problem this post had. This is the version that I wanted to post, but while I was working on it in my drafts, it accidentally posted itself. I don't know how the fuck it happened, since I didn't touched anything, but yeah. Sorry again. Anyway, hope you enjoy these new headcanons!)

[cursedcupcakemaster]

It may be long before October but it is never too early for a Halloween episode so I bring this gift for @melodyseashell22

Warnings:implied deaths, blood, implied child abuse

Notes:I don't own Melody Seashell she belongs to @melodyseashell22 or any of twisted wonderlands characters they belong to Disney and Yana Tobosos wonderful mind, the story is more or less a spin on the creature from the black lagoon idk what else to call it

Type:Poison candy apple

Yandere "sea monster" Floyd Leech x Melody Seashell

If you were to tell Melody what would come of the situation her parents had dragged her into she might have called you crazy, not even she believed this could have happened but unfortunately or perhaps fortunately it did

Her parents were the sort that just adored monetary gain, so when one of their associates let them know there was a sunken shipyard full of valuables no one had managed to pick clean, they were sold.

Melodys parents dragged her onto the boat with them as their servant. They always did like holding it over her head that she owed them for bringing her into the world and she was in no mood to argue as it lessened what would come should she choose to argue. The boat they traveled on was a rather old one, it was clearly used for fishing before it was one for hauling treasure away for her parents to make their profit ,not knowing what or rather who was waiting for them there.

The smell of seawater clung to the air as the family made their journey to the resting place of the many shipwrecks. What could have caused this Melody wasn't sure but what she was sure of was the lining of claw and teeth marks in the holes she saw of the boats that hadn't completely sunk, it gave her an uneasy feeling. A splash was heard that made her turn her head but when she looked there was nothing there save for a few bubbles and ripples from whatever had been there before and her parents were now demanding her to go make their dinner.

The kitchen was nice enough aside from a few things that needed repair but at least there was enough that her parents wouldn't need to shout at her, granted they didn't allow her much to eat to start with but it still put her mind at ease knowing they couldn't turn as much of their wrath to her as usual and once she was done she served them and the captain who had agreed to the voyage, he was one of her fathers associates who she didn't have much doubt was a less than honest man considering the little she saw during the poker nights where she had to stay out of the adults sight, he would cheat each game.

"You know what's out here right? What if they see us" the older man asked before Melodys father scoffed

"Oh please we'd know if they were here" Melodys father said as he downed a third serving of whiskey

Melody couldn't say she knew what they meant but whatever 'they' were, the unknown party certainly seemed to scare the captain enough before he downed his own beer. Sighing to herself she retired to her room and saw a fog rolling in outside the window. That feeling of being watched once more washed over her but she had to ignore it for now if she had a prayer at resting before her parents demands for the next day started so she allowed herself to fall into the darkness of a dreamless sleep.

The next morning was one Melody was accustomed to with her parents laughing about their newest venture and about how easy this one would be with the amounts of shipwrecks they had seen. Melody had been instructed to help them with their equipment but she was not allowed to go too close to the water. She had never been allowed in the sea itself ,whenever she asked why her parents would yell and scream that she shouldn't question them in the first place.

The first thing Melody noticed when she was setting up their equipment was there were no diving suits or oxygen tanks but there were nets and harpoon guns. Melody questioned why they would have those but not the basic safety equipment an experienced treasure diver might have but reminded herself she shouldn't say anything.

Her mother soon approached her

"You stay on this boat and do not touch anything except what you're supposed to got that? " the woman asked in a sickly sweet voice

"Yes ma'am " Melody answered quietly making the woman smile in a way that made Melody uncomfortable before she left.

A few days came to pass and not an inch of sunlight passed through the clouds in the sky. Melody looked out at the murky sea and there was something about the calm lapping of the waves at the ships sides that worried her, it was far too quiet for her liking. Melody heard a splash and turned but she saw no one there. She heard laughing and it was no one she had heard on board before, it sounded like a young man around her age. Melody went to the edge as she heard the laughter again

"Boo~" the voice crooned before Melody saw a rather surprising thing, it was a young man but he had green skin, claws for nails, sharp teeth and fins where his ears should have been, the sight was enough to make her scream and run back inside the ship. This creature whatever it was had to be what was sinking all of those boats. That had to be why none of the crews on those ships were able to come back.

Melody heard something sliding it's way onto the ship and she had no doubt it was the creature coming to play whatever sick game he had before eating her, she hid under the bed shaking as she heard the door creak open and the scratching of nails against the wood

"Come out, come out wherever you are ~" the strange creature cooed looking around but Melody covered her mouth trying not to scream.

She felt a cold clammy hand wrap around her ankle before she was dragged out with the creature snickering "Angelfish is funny~" he laughed

"WHO ARE YOU!?" Melody screamed

"A friend~" he said as if this were just a normal conversation and not frightening the poor girl half to death

"F friend?" She choked out

He nodded "you can call me Floyd~"

"M melody"

"Why are you out in my territory angelfish?~" he asked

" my parents t they came f for a a j job" she said

"Ohhh so they're the ones touching our stuff, that's not very nice ~"

"I i didn't know " she started before Floyd shushed her

"I'm not mad at you angelfish ~ "

Melody was confused before he spoke again

"You didn't come here cause you wanted to~ those guys made you right?~" Floyd questioned

"Y yes" Melody answered

"Then it's not your fault, besides I want to be friends with you angelfish is that okay?~" he asked and hesitantly Melody nodded

A few days passed and a scream from Melodys mother could be heard which shocked poor Melody out of bed. When she saw what happened to cause her mother to shriek, she felt bile rise in her throat. There was one of the men who had been helping her family obtain their wealth, his eyes were torn from his sockets, fingers missing, hands chewed up and his chest torn open with his heart missing.

"I warned you!" The captain shouted at Melodys father

"How was I supposed to know!? they were supposed to be far from here! " he argued back

"It doesn't matter we need to leave! Now! We have more than enough so let's go! " Melodys mother screamed at the men before they dispatched to get the boat moving

Melody ran to her room as the boat began to move again making it's way toward the way they came.

There was an odd sound as they neared the halfway point and Melody heard screaming outside her small room, a small voice in her head warned her not to leave the room. The scent of iron filled her nose as the screams died down but she felt as if the boat was lowering.

Running out of the room she saw the boat was indeed sinking and blood was everywhere on the boat

Melody looked for her parents but what she saw were creatures who resembled Floyd only they were deceased with their corpses in a similar state to the one found earlier

Melody took a step back terrified as she got a good look at their faces and saw the ring her mother wore on her finger on the female creature

Why why did this beast wear her mother's ring she asked herself until a familiar voice chuckled behind her

"Confused huh angelfish? ~" turning she saw Floyd

"It's not surprising they never told her a thing " another creature spoke who looked exactly like him save for the hair parting

"Where are my manners I am Jade Leech , I assume you are the Melody Floyd's been talking so much about "

"W what's happening why why did you guys do this, why are those things wearing my parents stuff?" She asked trembling before the brothers shared a look and Floyd brought Melody to the water making her heart race was he going to kill her after all ?

Melodys heart pounded in her ears as Floyd placed his hand in the water before running it along Melodys arm

Where the sea water touched arose green scales and fins. Melody couldn't believe her eyes, she couldn't believe this was real at all.

"You aren't actually human, those guys who claim to be your parents were merpeople and so are you" Floyd said

"Why do you believe they kept you from the ocean?" Jade mused

"So those things-"

"Your parents, though I'd hardly call them that" Jade spoke

"But...what do I do now...I have nowhere to go...no one" Melody lamented before Floyd smiled

"Of course you do angelfish ~ you'll come with us people you belong with~ " Floyd grinned with sharp teeth holding out his hand to her

Taking in his words filled Melody with a sense of relief , she took his hand before he led her into the sea feeling herself fully transform, and swim beside the boy who had been the first to try making her happy, the one who had saved her from previous nightmare that was her family. For once in her life she felt free.

[novisius]

This video tutorial has a male speaker who shows screen caps numerous times during it...this tutorial was recommended to be watched before you started the game, but man...is this really the best tutorial for the game there is?

[I discovered 54, not actually the name of the game…it’s like twelve digits or something, but it ends and starts with 54, a few months ago.

Rumors about the game followed the release of FDR, Full Dive Rigs, and the legislation around them. This game, which was supposedly on the dark web, ignored the legislation. It gave you the full spectrum of sensations as if it were real and it boasted extremely realistic AI. I was naturally curious about such a thing.

Normally...well...legally, FD games leave out the sense of smell and almost leave out the sense of touch to the point it basically doesn't exist. 54/Eternal Soul/The Game doesn't leave out those senses. It seems almost entirely real, although the game is kind enough to warn you that if you launch the game, you do void the warranty on your FDR.

The NPC AI is advanced, scarily so. When the game launched, things like quests weren't even a thing, it took someone an in-game month to convince the King of the starting area that it was a better idea to keep the eternal souls preoccupied with even menial tasks than it was to just let them have free reign. They have nations, and laws, and politics, and even strange things like plumbing and gardening as options to do. Though a lot of people do complain that the game requires you to learn how to do things...like, there is no 'slash' skill, you have to figure out how to use a sword yourself. There is no 'blacksmithing' talent, you have to know how to do it. It's useful for building real-world skills, but its not the most fun decision. Especially since the languages in the game are likewise something players don't just get translated for them. That is usually was prevents people from playing the game after checking it out. I started this with something in mind...right, the AI is difficult to distinguish. So, the only way to tell a player from an NPC is through an injury. Players, with our characters 'made of stone sculpted by the gods', naturally don't bleed. But the NPCs, being normal Humans, do. Well, that is speaking a real language, logging out, or leveling up. Though some NPC scholars have begun to learn some of the more prevalent languages of the player base: English, Mandarin, Japanese, Korean, German, French, Italian, Portuguese, Russian, and Hindi.

The next thing I guess to mention is that the game has some weird time-dilation thing going on. In-game time is roughly 10 times real-world time. That is to say, for every day that passes for you outside of the game, ten passes inside of the game. The game itself recommends that players stop playing for an hour to three for every 10 hours they are in-game. There have been some rumors of some people who will just keep playing after that and getting some sort of cognitive issues, so I recommend following that advice personally. Besides, who could play a game for that long and not want a break?

Okay, so next on this tutorial, now that we've gotten the weirdness of the game out of the way, is character creation. So, when you login...I forgot something, right, so this is a hardcore game, obviously. If the senses and lack of player-aiding systems were anything to go by, but what I mean is that this game can only be downloaded onto each FDR once, and each character is associated with the FDR (though there is a process to transfer your account to another machine by contacting the game support team, I've never done it personally but they are apparently pretty quick about it), and if your character dies, the game will brick your FDR after safely logging you out. Unless you've got a lot of money, you only have one life in this game.

Okay, now, character creation. So, when you load into the game, it will ask you a bunch of standard settings questions; 'Do you want your vision corrected/normalized?', 'Do you want limbs restored?', 'Would you like to turn off colorblindness?', etc. But it also has a few more unique questions; 'Would you like Anhydrosis repaired?', 'Would you like Ansomia fixed?'. You know, fixing the senses which normally aren't in FD games. I never encountered those, as I don't have those issues, but apparently, it was very interesting for the people who do.

So, then, you sculpt your character! You sort of carve them out of stone or clay, atleast that's what it felt analogous for to me, and there is an option to use your real world face. Which doesn't always seem to work, so interesting theory there, some players did a volunteer study and they think it doesn't create what you look like, but rather how you see yourself. Some people's will look better or worse than they actually are, some will be spot on, others will be minorly off in some way, etc. Others who have played this game with multiple characters, and the 'sculptor', recommends using that as the baseline, since you actually feel your body, it can be majorly disorientating if you aren't actually in something similar to how you are in real life. That and the fact that you have to be human-like. Though, if that is not your cup of tea, you can change colorations; like you can have black sclera with crimson eyes like my edgelord friend. You can change some features; like pointed ears and fangs like my edgelord friend. You can also create more fur if you get cold easily or give yourself claws. Supposedly the 'sculptor', someone who gets paid to make characters for people, they don't play the game to my knowledge, has created characters with extra eyes, fingers, gills, one with a tail, and supposedly one with wings. (They have ignored all of my messages for statements on those allegations)

During this time you will see yourself in a void, in-game, other players and NPCs will see you in front of a stone pillar under the castle of what used to be the capital of Thalassia (They moved because the players were unruly) as a small golden light floating around your pillar. Fun fact, the light roughly corresponds to where your spleen should be, some weird math went on to figure that out.

Anyways, once your character is made, you should see a cutscene, which should show your true environment. Your little light floats into the stone pillar, which then has the parts that are not a part of your avatar disintegrating into dust leaving behind your stony form (which has generously been auto-applied basic clothing) that begins to spread out color and 'not-stoniness' from the point your light entered. As the cutscene ends, you take on the first-person POV, sorta clipping through the back of the head. Your senses will begin to exist properly over the next few minutes.

Now, you get this fantastic HUD, which includes only a timer counting down in the top left (when the game was released, supposedly it started at the time for 30 in-game years) under which is a logout button which you can 'press', and an invisible-to-everyone-else attribute screen. It should have a 1 in everything and you should feel like you are extremely vulnerable, because you are. You can 'touch' that screen to move it, though I recommend getting used to the thought based interactions with it and placing it into your HUD proper. I place mine in the top right.

So, there are a number of HUD settings I recommend changing immediately, but first, exit from the cellar. Find a guard, and then logout in front of them. That is because all of the settings are in the main menu. I personally think that was a god-awful design decision, but I also have not created an FD game with realistic sense, graphics, and AI, so who am I to judge?

I recommend 'thought commands' being toggled on. I bound my logout button to the thought 'logout1' so I don't accidentally do that when I just consider logging out, but you should bind it to whatever you want. Next, I recommend adding in the souls bar (the xp bar) somewhere on your hud as an element, not a display. The floating screens are displays and I just hate having to interact with them.

Anyways, next enabling your health bar is useful, again, I would make it an element. You can, through that setting here, enable various floating numbers. As you can see here, I prefer to just have a number over my entire bar denoting total and max, as well as a warning that I am dealing 0 damage.

Now, you will notice that there are a few locked options for you, this game does have some microtransactions, but they are solidly useful and cheap. 25¢ a pop, the most frustrating thing about the microtransactions is actually paying them. This game is not exactly legal, so you have to pay using some dark web currency bs, but it is worth it.

The options are Clock (Real-World), Clock (In-Game), Clock (Day-Night), Health Bar (Ally), Health Bar (Neutral), Health Bar (Enemy), and Compass. Those are essential, at least in my humble opinion. The Clocks have a variety of customizations to them, you can have them as displays bound to your wrist like a watch, or you can have them as elements. These are the one thing that I think works better as a display than an element (one of the few things that you are given the choice of). The various health bar options will simply just be a health bar, next to, above, or wrapped around their heads. You can have it set so that it only appears based on proximity or if damage was dealt from one to the other. The compass is just useful, being able to walk in a straight line is always nice, it is magnetic north, but it isn't fooled by nearby magnets.

There are a few other options that change the game to a degree; Mini-map, Awareness (Sound), Awareness (Vision), Senses (Visual), Senses (Auditory), Senses (Tactile), Senses (Olfactory). The first one is...well it just disorients me personally, I know others that will swear by its usefulness, just not me. It does allow you to integrate other elements into it, such as wrapping the compass around it or having a clock in its corner. Though I do have to admit, if you don't know where you are going, it can be very useful. It has a maximum range of something like a 110m radius and a minimum of like 15. It does have some weird height settings which I don't get quite yet. As for the awareness ones, they indicate if you are detectable by sound or by sight by anyone around you. It has a number of ways of doing that, such as showing lines of sight (a bad idea in cities) or by a simple little element on your HUD. I haven't tried playing stealth enough to regularly use this, one element at a time you know? Senses, I've avoided using actively, it feels like my real-world life would be affected a little in a jarring way. But, they enhance your senses, it can either be an element or a data-stream. This is the only one which has the 'data-stream' option. Apparently, the data-stream does something similar to 'correcting colorblindness' in that it just changes how you are processing the sense in the game. The elements can get a little confusing...overwhelming, at times. But they basically allow you to see better (for visual (more lets you mitigate bright lights and darkness on your vision)) and to 'see without seeing' for the others. Each with its own unique brands of limitations.

And there are two that I don't really get why you would want to access them regularly; Level and Self-Portrait. Trust me, level is not useful to know for yourself and it is either visible as an element or display, or it isn't. This is closer to throwing away a quarter to the devs more than something useful. The Self-Portrait is apparently very good for people who need to look at themselves in the mirror to display proper facial expressions since all it does is show your face as if you were looking at it through a camera. There is a way to make it function more as a camera than as a Self-Portrait, which requires using the only exploit I've heard of besides whatever the 'sculptor' is doing. I could see that being useful, but the exploit requires many hours to do properly per portrait…I guess I should mention, you can have up to twelve of them, normally they would only display another angle of your head/bust, but as mentioned, the exploit would do something different. I'm not sure I could go through that exploit more than once honestly.]

[acourtofthought]

People on tiktok are saying that azriel and elain are living in the townhouse together at the end of hosab because it smells like bread and roses, and because azriel could’ve taken Bryce to the river house instead

Honestly, I can understand why their minds would initially jump to that conclusion. Bread and roses does seem like a possible nod to Elain and I think SJM placing a hint like that is entirely within the realm of possibility. She could have chosen any other scents but chose two that are strongly associated with her (because she has multiple mentions of being likened to a rose and baking is a pretty big hobby for her right now).

But it's one of those things that after thinking on it for a few moments you should realize why E/riel living there together is unlikely.

When SF ended, it had been months since E/riels last confirmed interaction (December) and the book itself left us near the start of Spring (March / April). CC3 is to take place 6-9 months after that so that means September to December would be likely.

Couples don't just start playing house in SJMs books unless we see how it got to that point. Whether it's because they were kidnapped from their home in the human lands then fell in love or fleeing a problematic ex then fell in love or beginning to train while making access to bars impossible then fell in love, we always see the events leading up to cohabitation.

If Az and Elain are living together at the start of CC3 than......HOW? WHEN??

Why would SJM decide to completely sidestep them announcing their relationship to Feyre and Rhys (after what happened on Solstice)? How did we completely miss them confessing having feelings for one another and deciding to take the next step by moving in? If they're living together as in they're "together" that has to mean they started having sex but we never read about their first time.

SJM has never started any novel with two characters living together without us knowing how it came about and without us witnessing their firsts together.

I think there is a chance someone is or was recently living in the townhouse because in SF SJM makes it a point to address that it's sitting vacant for anyone who needed it. And a townhome that's vacant shouldn't smell like bread (I don't buy the theory that it smells like bread because Velaris smells like bread, Bryce is noting the inside of the house specifically) and there shouldn't be a fire burning.

I could see that person being Elain. Just as Nesta chose an apartment for herself prior to her story, it would make sense if Elain wanted a little independence of her own before hers (not to mention Feyre and Rhys may want to spend time alone as a new family in their house and she may have wanted to avoid seeing Az when he showed up for IC business). And just as the HOW is still used for more formal business though it belongs to Nesta, it's possible they have a similar arrangement to use the townhouse for business when necessary. Then the scents would make sense in relation to her.

Or maybe the scents were not meant to indicate that Elain is living there at all but to draw attention to her absence. It's kind of a big deal that neither she or Mor were part of the group that went to investigate Bryce's arrival and seeing two things associated with her while not actually seeing her makes you question why she's not there. Maybe the townhouse is where Mor stays when she's not in the continent and it's hinting that she and Elain are off in the continent together.

Or maybe Az is the one staying there as Nessian are now mated in the HOW and again, the bread and roses is simply a clue leading us to question "Where is Elain?"

But it does not make sense to think that SJM completely skipped over the fact that Elain and Az did not end on good terms in SF, months went by where they didn't talk, but suddenly they're happy and living together at the start of another series. There is no point in a romance book where we completely missed experiencing the romance and excitement of a couples firsts especially when the female returned the males necklace and walked away. In the off chance that E/riel does end up together, there is no way SJM is going to just gloss over that. Where they wouldn't first have a good old fashioned fight over Az's rejection and idiocy in turning around and giving the necklace to someone else. And there's no way we wouldn't first need him to explain why the thought of another females happiness sparked something in his chest.

If I were an E/riel who thought they were already together, I'd be pretty pissed that once again, Elain is absent from that very major crossover scene just as she was absent from so many scenes in SF. Nesta and Cassian entered the room together as did Feyre and Rhys. Yet somehow Elain is once again nowhere to be found as her "love" just realized something pretty major about TT after he blindfolded and carried some random chick into her home.

[damienthepious]

would you be up for a bit of commentary on chap 25 of beast? Maybe something from Arum’s section? hi I am very normal about this fic couldn’t you tell

i am ALWAYS up for commentary, even if it sometimes takes me a few days to find time to get to it. unforch i can't just write fanfic full time, alas. BUT YES. the new (it WAS new when i STARTED writing this commentary!!! BUT) chapter 25 :3c I did the whole fcking section, oops.

[Perhaps it is only natural, the associations Arum's humans have begun to take on in his mind.]

it's amazing the weird ways that Arum's captivity has scrambled his usual characterization for me. He still has SO much pride but he also KNOWS that it's kinda bullshit, and he also feels like such an enormous, world-ending fuckup that the pride seems ridiculous. hence:

he's a lot more easily able to admit to himself his own affections, thought processes, feelings in general. They just seem like part of the unsatisfactory whole of who he is.

[That first: the idea of Amaryllis and Sir Damien as Arum's humans.]

................ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[Possession, he supposes, does not come into it, as such. He is not in a state to possess anything at all. A scrap of charcoal and a hidden drawing that has been unfolded and refolded so many times that it has begun to fray at the edges- that amounts for about as much as he can boast to possess.]

a lot of the way i think about a character calling another character theirs or stuff like that has been intensely reframed by the way it's described in Dal's fics, which... and i'm not going to describe this well, i don't think, but it's sort of... possession in reverse? like... you call a place Your home, not because it's land that you own, but because it is a place that You belong to. Arum is a shriveled houseplant. They are HIS humans because they're the ones who watered him, cared for him, treated him like something that was still alive. They're His because they're the only ones who matter, so far as he's concerned. They may as well be the only humans that exist, really.

So, ACTUAL possession- that's not really part of it. He's not trying to claim them, not really.

[Nevertheless.

Amaryllis and Sir Damien are his. If only to differentiate them from the entire rest of their species. If only in that they are the only extant creatures save his Keep that Arum would rather have at his side than not, even in his shame, and failure, and despair. Perhaps the more so even in such.]

he wants them around. He's not really in a position to think of himself outside of his current situation, so he can't say how he'd feel about them if he were free, but... but...

He's also aligning them with the Keep in his head, which maybe isn't a surprise at this point.

[But-

Associations. Yes.]

AND HE GETS DISTRACTED BY HIS OWN THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM.

[He still smells honeysuckle on Sir Damien, now and again. Arum knows, now, that it grows at the edge of Amaryllis' garden, in the clearing beside her hut. She's drawn it for him in a few of her letters, sketches that carry the delicate golden weight of the flowers even in their simple black lines.]

physical reality, nature, communication. the association of honeysuckle=damien is obvious, of course, but it carries more than itself. yellow, sweetness, sunshine, hazy air, buzzing insects. Rilla reveals windows through which he can actually see something besides his own horrible surroundings. Damien is the details, Rilla is the whole wide picture.

[He wishes she had drawn Sir Damien there, calm amongst the flora, pollen and sunlight seeping into his skin, the curls of his hair. Arum can't quite imagine it properly in his own head. Damien would be out of his armor, for one. Arum has never seen him like that. He can't bring himself to try to picture some facsimile of the true shape of Damien's shoulders, without the chitin, or the trim of his waist.]

an extremely, extremely physical, visceral, sensual image that doesn't actually exist. and so terribly simple, too. Arum appreciates beauty, generally, in canon and in all my verses, and here... he's been so deprived for so long, an idea THAT pretty is fairly well overwhelming.

[He does not think, truly, that he'll ever witness such a sight, but... he would prefer not to sully the chance with some false imagining, anyway.]

Still fatalistic, alas. He can't FORCE himself to believe that he'll escape, let alone that he'll escape and survive and damien will also survive AND he'll ever have a reason to see him sans armor. But also, he clearly wants that. All of it. He actually SAYS so! Says he WISHES just for the image!!! which is so much more than most versions of Arum would have done openly, even to himself.

[He has seen Amaryllis so much more rarely, but their correspondence-

Her anger mirrors his own. Her incandescent fury, rage against the injustice, the unfairness. She is clever, perhaps more clever than any other creature he has known. Certainly more clever than any other human he has yet met.]

unequivocal. y'know? Rilla is straight up brilliant, and THIS arum isn't so smug that he resists admitting that. and the anger- Rilla likes when things make sense. in MH, she sounds SO angry when she tells Arum that something isn't fair. Arum's situation rn? REALLY isn't fucking fair, and she's just as angry as Arum is about it, and SHE'S not the one in a cage. Rilla sees something wrong and wants so so so SO badly to FIX it. She fixes things, it's what she does. Not being able to fix THIS quickly and efficiently is distressing as hell for her, and it bleeds through.

[He thinks-

He can't help but think-]

this is a cut-off-and-rephrase because he doesn't WANT to think about this, in his current position.

[Would he enjoy their words, their company, their companionship- would he feel about the pair of them the way he does, if he knew them before? If he knew them, somehow, outside of this wretched captivity?]

He doesn't want to consider this question, really, because he's afraid that the answer could be no. (Obviously, considering me, the answer would always only ever be yes. but Arum doesn't know that) He doesn't want to think about the possibility of despising them outside of this because he wants this to be real, wants the idea of Rilla and Damien and their connection to him to be possible out in the REAL world. He doesn't want this to be pity alone, he doesn't want this to be charity. Because it's more than that for HIM.

[Would Sir Damien seem so much like sunlight and honey and candleflame against his scales? So much like comfort, lyrical lullaby voice and careful cradling palms against his scales?]

And here, finally, are the actual ASSOCIATIONS that Arum was thinking about and indicating in the FIRST FUCKING SENTENCE of this section. Warmth, natural light, song, touch, tenderness.

[Would he meet Amaryllis mind to mind and want with such unspeakable hunger to cultivate the soil side by side with her, some shared garden, some shared growth?]

some shared garden, some shared growth.........

[(Had he not failed so catastrophically, so long ago, he would have finished his weapon. Had he not failed, he would have been the architect of the destruction of every human in the Wilds.)]

Oh, for a shift in perspective, for the context of the real living beings belonging to some abstract "enemy." I love my meow meow dearly, but i certainly never forget the intended warcrimes.

[(He has regretted his incomplete work so deeply, in his captivity.)]

And why WOULDN'T he???? Here, chained, trapped, tortured, starved, alone???? why would he NOT regret failing to kill ALL of these humans? If he succeeded, he wouldn't be HERE.

[(Harder... harder to regret that, now. Amaryllis and Sir Damien, two dead among thousands, never known to him, more blood among the ocean of this terrible war, and Arum-)]

Oh for a shift in perspective. There's a face (or two) on the populace he didn't care about killing, before. Which is maybe ironic, because it's the same shift that Damien had to go through from the other side.

[They both feel so painfully real, here among the sad grey monotonous nothing.]

Back to the moment, back to the feelings. Back to something softer.

[Damien's consistency and warmth, growing among the cracks, bringing his own sunlight; Amaryllis more distant, more free, some passerine creature flitting in and out from the bars that cage him, the both of them messengers of earth and sky and storm, the only proof that the outside world exists.]

Flora and fauna. And maybe, in other circumstances, it would make more sense for Rilla to embody plant life and Damien who i frequently associate with rabbits in particular to be the fauna, but here... Damien is a consistent presence, closer to the constant companionship of his Keep, and Rilla is the songbird, bringing vitality with the words she shares. they ARE the "earth and sky and storm," they ARE the outside world. Between the two of them, sun and moon, earth and sky, hand and hand. it's only natural-

[It should be no surprise at all, he tells himself. The warmth. The fluttering feeling. The pleasure he feels reading Amaryllis' words. The comfort of Damien's touch.]

he shouldn't be surprised, he tells himself. Which, of course, implies that he IS surprised, on some level. And, despite his position, and despite being SOMEWHAT more willing to be honest with himself, there's still a level of abstraction here. Mostly, of course, because he's in such a rotten place physically-emotionally-mentally. And also because he kind of doesn't really know what's going on with himself, either. Why would he?

[It shouldn't be any surprise for Lord Arum, feeling something for his humans. Whatever it is that that something might be.]

And also... it doesn't matter WHAT the feeling is, specifically. It doesn't. Arum knows that he DOES feel something for them. And that's enough. That's more than should be possible.

ANYWAY. THIS IS SO LONG. HOPE IT'S ENJOYABLEEEEE

[chaifootsteps]

Hello, 'tis I, SecretIdentity!Alastor Anon once more:

I didn't realize wendigo weren't closed culture, I was under the impression that they were, my bad, sorry; thanks for telling me. Anyways I agree that interpretations w/ them as spoopy monsters is pretty blargh & that my Secret-ID-AU!Alastor, even canon!Alastor, are as far from wendigo as can be lol.

And yes! I really like Peryton!Alastor as a concept (plus, bird AND deer behaviors! It's got the flavors built in! Either the SecretIdentity!Alastor's wings are too small to fly, or they were injured & rendered flightless some time ago (broken funny? Nerve damage? Amputee? haven't decided). He's been a lot of fights over the years, there's a toll taken there.

And I just had a thought, what if, Alastor's plan to ally with Charlie & support her hotel idea, was a survival-brain, seat of his pants idea? The most recent Cleanse had all of Hell in a huge serious of brawls, duels and turf wars right (tbh I have... issues with Sinners and the Cleanse itself only being confined to the Pride Ring but I haven't decided yet)? Set 'Day in the Life' Alastor comic but a little to the left slightly before the Cleanse, Alastor and Sheep Lady get caught outside during the Cleanse. Eventually leads to Alastor getting into a marathon of close calls both with Exterminator Angels AND Sinners afterwards, he's won in the sense that he's alive, and the Radio Demon's identity is still a mystery as well as his mythos uplifted further. By the start of the AU Pilot time post-Cleanse, all his usual hideyholes (Rosie? Who actually is an Overlord apparently?) are either too far or partially compromised (Vox bothering him, Alastor, as himself, a 'known associate' of the Radio Demon?), so he needs to buy himself some breathing room to recover and figure out his next moves. (Sheep Lady is alive somewhere but nowhere to be seen for now).

Alastor uses some magic he's got to make himself look unruffled/unhurt, can't show weakness after all, wounded prey animals get targeted first. He ends up ducking into the News Studio just in time to see Charlie's broadcast interview live.

Idk I just thought it would be kinda interesting if Alastor allied with Charlie because he was flying by the seat of his pants and too allergic to showing weakness (legitimate concern considering Hell's society) to try coming as a guest, because not only is that an affront to his pride but the lack of control would be scary probably, so he needs to pitch himself (and his true identity, but separately and somehow a reason to also be there bc that's the point but he can't let them know it's the point) as a valuable asset without looking weak. So he calls in a couple of those few ongoing contracts/favors that he's been holding onto for a while, Niffty and Husk, they're the... Safest choices, to contribute something to this allyship support deal he just pantsed himself into. He had a plan the whole time (no he didn't).

Instead of the pilot/ep1 ending with Sir Pentious just showing up, he doesn't, no big powerwank scene, just quiet scenes for each of what is probably going to be (most of?) the main cast ending their day, settling into the hotel. Also I feel that there was some missed opportunity in the pilot canon where Angel mentions that there's no food at the hotel, and Alastor offering to cook jambalaya for everybody (later if he has a more pressing injury to bother with in secret? Could even be a tidbit of Vaggie talking to Charlie about how Alastor [Radio Demon's ambassador] smells like blood, and if Alastor hears he wouldn't correct her) dialogue at the end can stay though, or it get picked up later.

Anyways, thanks for listening to my Alastor blether, I know he's just Viv's edgy karen-hair wasted potential OC but, man I enjoy redesign/rewriting him.

Thank you for sending in your ideas -- it's some truly excellent blether! Characters that are exceedingly powerful but also in survival mode always make for an interesting time.

(Incidentally, you've also got me really invested in the idea of Alastor with stubs of what used to be wings hidden under his clothes.)

[applesandbannas747]

for the ask game: 6 for dead hearts and sinew&bone, 12 (sorry had to), and 17 👀

For this ask game! Thanks so much for playing <3

6. What’s one fact about the universe of a fic that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

Dead Hearts:

oooo probably Warlock stuff. I really love the concept of wizards, witches, and warlocks all being Different, nongendered, things instead of gendered and/or interchangeable names (I blame Septimus Heap for that one). Anyway, warlocks in Dead Hearts have a special connection to magic because while witches' magic connects them to the earth, warlocks are so much a part of the earth that magic flows directly from it through them--it's also what makes them able to read others' magic (like Eugene did to Jesse's) because they're a conduit for magic and connection as much as the earth itself is, so their magic is sort of...everyone's magic. It's a stream always flowing through them as opposed to a witch's bottomless lake. (Wizards might harness magic artificially, though I didn't completely flesh out that thought--a wizard is probably what Nick would have been during his first life, because his magic was being pulled from an outside source, and what Eugene was trying to do--and eventually succeeded in doing was open Nick to the flow of magic warlocks experience).

I wrote up a bunch more lore and realized that it would be a shame to share it in case I ever wanted to write about it, which means my dumb brain has probably decided it does want to write the theoretical eugesse spin-off at some point. so stay tuned for that in like 3 years i guess XD

Sinew & Bone:

So! When Nick sees Jesse in Eugene's room, they immediately recognize each other as pack. Nick had previously commented to Eugene to leave whatever werewolf he's sleeping with because it's obviously he's stressed all the time now and his scent is all mixed with wolf. The reason Nick didn't know then that Eugene's wolf was Jesse is that his brain filtered the possibility out. The scent was Eugene, Family, Wolf, and Nick immediately assigned the family association to Eugene completely on accident and with no recognition that he even smelled that on Eugene because his subconscious sees Eugene as family, so he didn't register anything amiss with Eugene's scent in that regard. So all he picked up from Eugene that was out of place was a random shifter's scent.

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

oh man i fEEEL like there was a specific trope I immediately had in mind for this one but because I waited so long to answer, I literally can't remember anymore.

Perhaps song fics? I hate reading them but have ended up writing several tangential fics that DO quote song lyrics in them jfdsah Really I'm just a hypocrite. I'll come back if i ever remember my real answer??

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

oh man so many honestly. and like. I do it pretty regularly XD but two super specific and indulgent aus that genuinely no one but me and, like, one other specific person would read are:

1) characters somehow getting swapped with older/younger versions of themselves. For example, 25 year old Nick swapping places with 16 year old Nick and remembering what a dick baby Seiji was to him, while 16 year old Nick's trying to fight with a 25 year old Seiji. I like versions where it's just mind swapped and versions where it's whole body as well (those are fun for the oh no he's hot moment they come with). Fun fact, my original idea for the 'childhood' prompt in the 30 Day Fence Challenge was 17 or so Nick swapping out minds with 12 year old Nick but I couldn't make it work the way I wanted it to in the time I had to write it so it got shelved

2) the Ultimate self-indulgence of MAXIMUM cringe level but aus where a pre-get-together ship's future kid somehow gets dumped back in time and seeks out their parent/s and they're like what do you mEAN I married him?!?! and yes i do have a specific scenario for both Eugesse and Nichoji fics of this variety and if I had time to fit them in my writing schedules, y'all would have to suffer months of irrelevant content from me uwu

[treeofnonsense]

INFODUMP TIME: SINF EDITION

i'm aorry

SO. This is a series of 6 books that I affectionately call the Modern Fantasy Mythological and Historical Real Person Fiction series. And it's accurate. Very accurate.

I'm emo about it every day and I once scared kya by reblogging something from his nlog onto my sinf sideblog and he didn't know it was me. It's such a batshit crazy book I read a lot of batshit books, okay.

But one of the things about it is that people use magic by using their auras, something many folks irl have heard about. Auras and vibes and energies and such. In SINF you have a finite amount of aura you can use before doing magic consumes your physical body instead. Depleting your aura is BAD. You need to rest if you do, or if you get severely injured because your aura automatically tries to heal you regardless of if there's any aura to heal you with.

Auras come in a few different forms and MILLIONS of colors. They also have unique smells, and although you can technically change it, you have an original scent that is yours exclusively. (The bad guys in the series are extra as FUCK and make their auras smell like rotten meat and stuff. Drama queens.)

There are 3 auras that are the most powerful, but one type of aura trumps them all. Those three are Gold, Silver, and Black. Gold and silver are rare as fuck, and the twin teenaged Main Characters of the series have those colors naturally, and in the purest form. But we never quite hear about anyone who has a black aura, and the one time I recall it mentioned (it's been a while since I read them) it's just....implied. And then we NEVER hear about black auras again, despite apparently being a huge cog in the wheel that makes up the magic of this world.

HOWEVER. You know me. You know that if I have wiggle room, then I will ponder. And I don't just have wiggle room with the concept of black auras-- i have a fucking warehouse.

And so, middle school Marcel began to think-thonk. And I've been think-thonking for a decade now.

The legendary twin auras of pure gold and silver are representative of the Sun and the Moon in SINF. They literally ARE those things. Others can have (and have had) pure gold or silver, but they weren't as powerful because they were twins. They weren't the Sun and Moon. So it stands to reason that a black aura would have some celestial symbol as well, yeah?? But what? Now originally I assumed it might be an eclipse. But the black aura is an independent concept, unlike the Sun and Moon auras which depend on each other to keep balance across the multiverse (yes there's a multiverse in SINF. Don't worry about it.) So now what?? What is something in astronomy that is associated with darkness and doesn't necessarily have something else to balance it?

That's right. A black hole.

How would that work, you may ask? How does an aura, which already consumes itself and then its bearer even when it's normal, somehow function efficiently when it mimics a fucking BLACK HOLE. Well boy do I have the answer for you 🫵🏼

It lays dormant, but when ignited, can only take energy from auras around it. This bitch will consume SOMEBODY ELSE in order to power itself. And it's hungry.

What does a black aura look like?? Uh well. I actually headcanon that it's colorless. Invisible, even, except for a faint disruption around its bearer, much like how stuff bends around an actual black hole. Auras can only be used when someone is Awakened, but black auras can Awaken someone nearby who previously was not, just to start sucking up their aura juice for magical purposes.

Really eldritch of me, I think. I definitely have an OC with a black aura and she's everything to me.

I love how middle-schoolcel took the most edgelord of books and made the most edgelord of OCs out of it. Fantastic. Glorious. Sometimes you just need to satiate the inner teenager.

The idea of auras being the source of power is actually really interesting, to be honest. But having the main characters be extra special gold and silver aura teenagers and the bad guys smell like rotten meat and there's an extra-special black aura we never hear about is also hilarious.

[callipraxia]

Rain and cold, and I’m completely sleep-deprived, having managed to spend less than four hours under last night/this morning. What better time to try the second of the three Ford teas in the Perfect Fandom Box?

Actually, there could be several better times, since I am sneezing my head off today and my nose and tongue therefore may not be in full working order. I’m going forward anyway, though, so here we go.

I did not try to make an artistic spread of the dry leaf, that’s just what popped out of the tin when I slid the lid back. Commence tidying efforts….

The dry leaf initially smelled mostly of caramel, but I was surprised to detect what seemed a little like a smoky note at first sniff. That quickly resolved itself into Earl Grey, though. Earl Grey, to me, brings to mind a pale blue-grey color and a note that makes me think of candle smoke; perhaps this is why Earl Grey-Lapsang Souchong blends are popular (and for good reason, they’re delightful).

When I added the water, all I could smell was a very weak Earl Grey, but aroma can, like flavor, take a few minutes to develop. Looking at it…there’s definitely rooibos floating to the surface there. Those long green leaves are interesting - it suggests the gunpowder green pellets unfurled *immediately* on contact with hot water, instead of doing so gradually over the course of brewing. That yellow thing…ginger maybe?

Lovely golden-brown color. Oddly, though, I can now barely smell anything at all. Is this my nose being stuffed up, or are the teas canceling each other out in the scent department? As for the taste….

Well, the first sip, I got almost nothing beyond a faint astringency I associate with the gunpowder. Slurping on the stuff for the second brought through a weak Earl Grey flavor, along with the gunpowder astringency again and a freshness afterward I also associate with gunpowder (the green tea, not the explosive), but it’s all just so weak, and I can’t taste the caramel or ginger or cocoa at all. What I can taste does fit in my head as something that the character might have liked back in his pre-Portal days, if I could multiply the concentration of the flavor several times over, but I doubt that pouring the tea back into the teapot to steep a little longer would work well. Did it just need more brew time? Did I get a poorly-mixed spoonful? Am I just sick or something??

On a hunch, I let it cool down a little further, to the point where it was just warm and edging toward lukewarm, and the flavors were a little stronger that way. I can now taste about as much Earl Grey as I smelled in the dry leaf, and also a lot of what I think is the ginger, or at least the heat from the ginger; can’t really discern any of the pleasanter qualities of ginger, unfortunately.

Strange, strange tea. If anything, I’d have expected it to at least have the unpleasantness that green tea can get when brewed at the full boil needed for the black tea and the rooibos - maybe not in its most extreme form, since gunpowder is fairly hardy as far as greens go, but it’s just…mostly nothing. I don’t know what to make of it at all. I don’t think this sample is going to make it to one of the bigger pots, because I suspect I’m going to have to do as many single-cup experiments as the sample allows for. Steep one longer. Adjust the temperature for another. Try one with a drop of milk and another with a drop of honey. Hopefully try it when my head isn’t bothering me, if I can muster the patience. It’s dry odd. Not bad at all, but distinctly…odd, at least on this first pass.

[nevertheless-moving]

murderbot au where the events of network effect don’t occur, or maybe some version does happen but mb happens to be by itself/away from preservation crew at the time of the kidnapping and keeps the whole thing a secret. Yes, yes we miss out on some fantastic character/relationship building. But consider this—perihelion, still a secret from presaux, pulling into the preservation station.

Naturally, ART pings SecUnit’s special transmitter (that it keeps near it’s heart (I’m never gonna be over the under rib compartment)) once it’s in range. Hell, ART probably manipulated the stop in first place. Naturally, SecUnit is delighted. Naturally, SecUnit would rather jump into a sun than admit that. I mean—does SecUnit even tell anyone that it’s mutual administrative assistant is visiting, or does it just freeze, get suddenly excited and refuse to explain why?

I’m thinking it has a little heads up between ping and ART coming into actualcommunication range for it to display some signs of agitation. Queries about local live performances in case ART wants to watch them through mb’s feed together. Performs some overdue self-maintenance because it doesn’t want ART to worry nag. Gets ruthlessly overinvolved in transit security’s business.

Ohmygosh secunit totally sneaks on board while ART’s humans are gone. Just  vibing. Watching media. Inspecting for damage. Maybe some minor medical adjustments. It’s not quite as secure, since it knows humans are coming, but it’s still safer that it’s felt in—in a while.

Mensah asks what it’s been up to, it’s been quiet in the feed, and SecUnit answers watching media, which is true, but, like, it answers too quickly. Bharadwaj asks if it can come over, she wanted to go over some documentary details in her office, but Murderbot responds that its location is classified. Hangs out with the group but gets twitchy and its face reacts like it’s talking to someone in the feed, or watching something particularly engaging, but when questioned it just. leaves.

Aaah i can totally see the whole book someone write this please

ART wanting to do something it usually can’t [it being a ship and all], at least not with that construct vibrant feed intake, mb grumpily agrees. Sits at the bottom of a lake looking at fish while ART collects data on fluid dynamics. Climbs a tree. Smells a flower. Snarks at an astronavigation professor that the Pansystem University has beef with. Nothing—nothing really stressful for mb, exactly, just not typical murderbot activities, and someone it knows notices its presence, doesn’t even directly question mb, but it still panics because shit i don’t want my friends to suspect i like doing things.

Eventually presaux compares notes like I thought its drones were acting erratically too—wait you saw it at the beach? Maybe it’s trying new hobbies and doesn’t want to tell us? Wait, what do you mean your kids saw it at school? Also did it get a new haircut? Also, I feel like its gun port attachments look serviced and I thought it didn’t trust preservation medical to work on those?

ART leaves port.

Mensah gently presses, observing that mb seems down, and she’s very sorry but it’s friends had noticed it was in a good mood before? With extreme reluctance it confesses that it had an associate visiting, which caused a 5% increase in performance reliability, but now that its associate is gone gone it’s experiencing a 6% decrease in performance reliability for some reason. It’s not a security concern.

Of course Mensah is screaming internally because in secunit terms—actually, Mensah doesn’t even know how to translate that degree of affection, that might be the sweetest thing mb’s ever said about anyone. Whomst the fuck?

[e-jaegerenthusiast]

U&I; bully!megumi

warnings/tw; smut, orgasm denial, oral (both f and m receiving), unprotected sex, cockwarming, slight degrading, overstimulation, squirting, slapping, creampie, stomach bulge, slight blood, fluff towards the end (sheesh that’s a lot💀)

(all characters are of age)

bully characters event w/ @angedelouvre <3

summary; you always tried to understand him, what you didn’t know was that he was obsessed with you, not knowing how to show his love.

w.c; 5.0k

(based on the song U&I by the neighbourhood)

there were many occasions where people would call you naive. your small group of friends, your parents, even strangers of all sorts. they called you naive because they knew you had a choice.

they knew you could just report him to your teachers, school council or, principal even. they knew you were holding back. many times you felt shame, embarrassment, sheer humiliation. the venom in his voice would tug at your heartstrings and threaten to poison you. but you knew you were already poisened.

you asked yourself the reason to being quite. especially the times when he would hurt your feelings to the point you would think of reporting him. it would be a thought shimmering around your head, circling until you felt dizzy to the brim, tears threatening to spill. but you wouldn’t cry. you knew you were stronger than that, you knew you could handle it. you had enough practice thanks to your family anyway.

your problem was that, you were too understanding.

too empathic. your heart felt bad for the boy. you had done your research on him. knew that his mother was dead. knew that she probably died due to the not-so obvious criminal acts of his dad.

his dad was threatening. you only saw him once or twice at school, on rare occasions it was that he would drop his son off with his black heavy-duty ram. as if he couldn’t get any more intimidating, he had a scar across his lips, frown on his face, bored look in his eyes, thick muscles and veins gripping the steering wheel.

your eyes would dart to megumi, as he would get out the car, closing the door with force you knew wasn’t needed. the noise echoing through your ears as his dad would reciprocate with the sound of the heavy engine speeding off. your lips would form a thin line, thinking if that’s the tension between them without any words, what hell was it at home?

would they scream and shout at eachother? break things? would his introvert and brooding sister get caught up between the two hot-headed men? would they not even talk? as deadly silence fills the whole house?

you would be brought out of your thoughts and snapped back to reality as fushiguro would walk past you, light scoff leaving his velvet lips. looking at you with a frown as if you were below him. as if you were ought to be ashamed for staring at him. as if you didn’t have permission to. the threatening look in his dark blue eyes would raise the beats of your heart, yet you wouldn’t look away. you knew you would pay for it later anyway.

you would watch as he walked away, your eyes darting to his hair. noticing how it wasn’t styled and spiky today as it is normally. his hair was almost messy, as if he wasn’t bothered to do anything with it. a few strands covered his forhead, making him look almost.. soft. you internally laughed at yourself for ever associating that word with the boy.

you would zone out all day in your classes, thinking of all the possibilities. thinking of what life fushiguro had to live at home. trying to understand why he would act the way he did. why he felt the need to bully you, no. you hated that word. you hated what it implied. you would like to believe he would only pick on you. maybe you were in denial. that’s what everybody would tell you. even your brain, telling you that you like to be his punching bag.

so what if he had issues at home? so what if he had self-issues and most definitely daddy issues? that would be no reason to hurt you. a girl. no, that would be no reason to hurt anyone. that’s what the rational parts of your brain would tell you. the other parts, the more naive and dumb parts, would tell you you want to help him somehow. even if he got some sort of relief by hurting you. you would want to help him.

you didn’t know why you would sacrifice your mental and emotional well being for a boy like him. but something pulled you in. he was like a damn magnet. a negative one. and you were the positive. that’s all you would think about sitting in physics class. but the negative and positive should attract eachother. then why were you the only would attracted? were you?

your thoughts were interrupted by the ringing sound of the bell, everyone picking up their backpacks and leaving. you would always be last to leave the classroom, sometimes staring too hard out the window, getting lost in your thoughts. there was something peaceful about an empty classroom, a place that was always constantly filled with noise and people, now quite.

you sighed as you picked up your bag and slowly started making your way out the classroom, you had a free period now, which you would usually go and have lunch with your friends in. however today you were feeling nauseous, not really in the mood to chew or even swallow anything.

as you opened the class door, making your way to the empty halls, you felt a strong pair of hands grab on to your shoulders, making you flinch. they pushed you back into the classroom in a flash, you were now pushed up against the classroom wall, door closing shut by itself. as you tried to calm your breathing and opened your eyes, you saw the familiar dark blue ones staring down at you with a glint of madness swimming in them. you wish you could swim in them.

your heart started beating faster. how did he know you took this class? you looked down at his hands on your upper arms, hissing as you looked up at him with your eyebrows furrowed, as if you wanted to tell him it hurt with your eyes. not wanting to talk. he slightly loosened his grip on your arms. but still keeping his big hands on you. as if to remind you, to make you aware of his intimidating presence.

he spoke through his teeth, with the same venom in his voice as always, “what the fuck were you doing watching me this morning?” he searched your eyes for an answer, yet the only thing he saw was his own so called hate in them.

you batted your eyelashes slowly, “I- huh?”

his grip tightened again in a mere second, pushing you into the wall as you winced, your back hitting against the hard wall. “don’t fucking bullshit me, l/n. you come to school from the other side, what the fuck were you doing on the east side where I get off?” 

you closed your eyes and tried to control your breathing. not wanting to break beneath his firm touch and voice. you spoke in a low voice as you looked down, “..I was— waiting for a friend that gets off there.”

you felt both his hands let go of you, dropping by his sides. you felt his fingers on your chin, making you flinch visibly, his brows furrowing at you as he made you look up to his eyes.

your eyes darted all around his face, his cheeks looked so soft, his lips pressed together as his face was dangerously close to yours. you finally looked up to his eyes, they were as if searching for something within yours, you bit on your lower lip, his hand left your chin. muttering “liar.” before he swiftly got out, leaving you a mental mess in the empty classroom.

•••••••••••••••••••••

the day passed quite slowly, it seemed like every hour was adding a new weight on your head. you picked up your bag and left your last class, gaze on the floor as you thought about a certain raven-headed asshole.

you weren’t feeling like going home, you’d usually go home after the sun sets, listening to music and biking around. your parents could care less anyway, busy with their own bickering. you walked to the school parking lot, trying to get to your bike.

a tall figure caught your attention as he was leaning against a tree, the shadow of the big willow covering his face. your eyes darted to the willow tree, the cool breeze making the leaves swish from side to side. willows, hope. belonging. safety.

you walked towards the tree, the bike stands being right next to it. you glanced at the boy again, almost gasping as your eyes locked with the same blue ones from earlier today. he walked towards you, hint of a smirk on his face. you swiftly tried to untie your bike and leave. not wanting any more conflict, you thought you couldn’t take it.

he grabbed on to your arm with a tight grip, your eyes shooting daggers at him, “let me go.” for once, venom filled your voice. he gave you the most shit-eating grin, “I wanna talk to you, bunny.” you tolled your eyes at the unfamiliar nickname.

you felt rather bold today, the blood in your veins rushing to your ears as you raised your voice, “let me fucking go. go and release your daddy issues somewhere else, fushiguro.”

he raise his brows, “the sweet innocent girl is swearing at me? insulting me? you seem to forget who you’re talking to, sweetie.” his grip on your arm tightened as he pulled you away from your bike before you could undo the restrains. he started pulling you towards the parking lot.

your legs walking for you at this point, you dumbfoundedly followed him as he kept tugging on your arm. almost throwing you when he let go, his voice filled with anger, “get in.” he said as he got into a black hellcat charger parked in the parking lot.

you stood there, the rational part of your brain practically yelling at you to not get in a car with your bully. but your legs were already walking for you before you could listen to your own warnings.

the smell of cedarwood and musk hit your nose as you sat down in the leather seats next to him. looking out the window, you huffed. crossing your arms as the car started with a roar, “where are we going?”

he glanced at you from the side of his eyes, “shut your smart little mouth.” this time, his voice wasn’t filled with the usual venom, it had a hint of..playfulness?

you dropped your hands in your lap and fidgeted with them, tapping one of your legs against the floor of the car slowly as he pulled out of the parking lot snd onto the street. that didn’t go unnoticed by fushiguro, his eyes darting to your fingers and your bumping leg, piecing together that you were indeed nervous.

he spoke in a low, menacing voice, “I’m not gonna kill you, don’t worry.” you looked at him with this, letting out a dry chuckle, “oh! like that makes it sound less-creepy!”

he didn’t say anything as he smirked and sped up. the car hit a speed bump, his arm shot to you, holding it infront of your form as to shield you like a seatbelt, his bicep pressing into your chest. he removed his arm after a few seconds as fast as he had brought it. your cheeks grew red, putting on your seatbelt, not wanting that to happen again. or did you?

he turned on the car’s radio, and put on a song with a few swipes of his slender fingers on his phone. the screen lighting up and reading “Softcore—The neighbourhood”. your scoff at the universe being hidden as he raised the volume and sped up again.

the ride to wherever he was going was pretty long, at some point your eyes drooping from the tiredness of the school day, but immediately opening back up as you didn’t trust the boy enough to be unconscious around him.

after a few minutes, you arrived at lookout. he got out the car, and sat down on the hood. you sighed, and got out after him. the view of the city was breathtaking, the sun hiding under the clouds, a few minutes away from setting down completely. the sky a mix of purple, pink, and orange.

you stood by the car door, watching the view as he glanced at you, a ghost of a smile at his lips.

you took slow steps towards him, standing next to the hood of the car yet not sitting down beside him. you moved your eyes from the view and to his face, the sunset had painted his face a faint orange, the dark blue of his eyes almost looking brown. you sighed for what seemed to be the umpteenth time of the evening, “why did you bring me here, fushiguro?”

he turned his head to you, motioning for you to sit down next to him. you did. but he stood, moving to stand infront of you, his face being much higher than yours than it usually is. his glanced moved between your lips and you eyes, “I fucking hate you, angel.”

before you could react, he leaned down swiftly, catching your lips in his, putting one palm on the hood of the car next to your thigh and placing the other on your cheek, holding you as his soft lips pressed against yours. his cool cedarwood cologne filling your nose as it pressed against his.

you suddenly came to your senses, hitting his chest with both your hands, looking up at his now lust-filled blue orbs. he took your wrists and placed both your hands around his neck as he leaned into you again, this time you felt his tongue against your lips, begging to enter. you refused, that was until his hands went to palm your ass on the car, making you gasp as he slid his tongue into your mouth.

your tongue slowly moved against his, yet he still dominated your mouth. your hands starting to move on him, one going to grip his bicep and the other intertwining in his soft hair, you were so thankful his hair was soft today for whatever reason. no hint of any of the excessive gel he uses to hold up his spikes. as your hand easily glided through his raven locks, he grunted into your mouth, moving closer to you, opening you thighs with his hands so he could stand in between them.

you pulled away, your lungs not the only thing threatening to combust. a string of saliva connected you both until his ragged sighs and breaths broke it. your looked up at him, your eyes swiftly switching between each of his eyes. he looked down at you and blinked slowly, suddenly pulling you flush against his chest, his arms tightly wrapped around your figure, face burried in your neck.

you slowly wrapped your arms around his waist, snuffling against his chest as it smelt heavenly. he groaned. you pulled back, looking up at him with a confused look, until he motioned his head downwards between the both of you. only then you realized something hard poking at your thigh. your face grew red as you burried you head in his chest again, feeling a deep chuckle come from it. he spoke in a deep, throaty voice against the shell of your ear, making you shiver, “are you a virgin?”

you moved away from his chest, looking up at his dark eyes, the sun was almost completely behind the horizon now. you slowly shaked your head, blushing. he smirked, “you naughty little thing.”

before you could say anything else, he picked you up by your ass, your hands going to tighten around his neck and your legs around his waist. you could hear one of the car doors open as your buried your face into his neck, smelling his cologne, something you clearly couldn’t get enough of.

he sat you down on the edge of the backseat, the car door still open as he knelt down in between it, looking up at you with soft eyes. you felt a lump in your throat as you started to get anxious. he realized it too, his burrows furrowing as he put his hands on your kness, his thumbs rubbing circles on your thighs. “what’s wrong, baby?”

your heart threatened to convulse at the nickname, sucking in a breath before you slowly spoke, “are..are you going to..use me? and- and then—“

he cut you off as he squeezed your thigh with one hand, and put his other palm on your cheek. “don’t say that..please.”

you didn’t know if he was genuine or not, his gaze holding an unreadable expression. but you fell for him anyway. you knew you were going to be at his mercy and do whatever he asks of you.

his eyes searching for something in yours, you nodded your head against his palm. at that, he gripped your legs and pulled you forward even more, your ass just barely on the seat of the car. his slender hands trailed up your thighs, long fingers resting on the waistline of your pants. your breaths were messy and uncollected as he slowly slid your pants down to your ankles, his gaze landing on your slightly damp underwear.

he licked his lips. the action being too intriguing for you, you leaned down, grabbing a hold of the back of his soft black hair as you smashed your lips against his. at first, he was surprised and didn’t move, then he started meeting your hungry open-mouthed kisses to his lips, tongues fighting like a tug of war.

he eventually pulled away, a slight smirk on his face “such a needy little slut, hm?”

you bite your lip as he leaves wet kisses on your lower thighs, inching closer to where you needed him most slowy. he looks up at you, and oh lord you could probably cum on the spot from only his gaze. you bite your lip harder. with the action, he let out a deep growl, biting harshly on your thigh, sure to leave a mark. he soothed it with his tongue and he spoke, mouth coming of your skin with a ‘pop’, “don’t you dare hold back your moans,” he pressed more wet kisses to your thighs, occasionally sucking and nibbling on the soft skin. “been wanting to hear em’ for so long, don’t hold back baby.”

little pants and sighs started leaving your mouth, your hips slightly bucking, trying to find some friction with the edge of the leather seat beneath you. fushiguro noticed, of course. his hands came to grip your hips, holding you down firmly as he tutted. “don’t be bad now. patience, angel.” you whined at his words, a low chuckle leaving him as his hands now gripped the waistband of your underwear, slowly pulling it down.

you pressed your thighs together, nervousness creeping up your veins. he looks up at you with his dark blue eyes which looked black as the night before you. “c’mon now, lemme see that pretty pussy, yeah?”

you hesitated. he didn’t, gripping your thighs tightly as he pried your legs open. glistening cunt bare to his eyes now. he licked his lips, something you could get used to.

he pressed soft kisses on your inner thighs as he moved closer, hot breath fanning over you cunt. you clenched around nothings as he pressed a soft kiss on your clit, you bit your lip again.

a sudden sharp sting on your clit from his teeth made you scream, looking down at him as he hummed around your lips, gaze never leaving yours. you knew what he meant. he wanted you to be more vocal.

his tongue flicked around your sensitive clit, making you squirm beneath him as you started letting out quite moans, spurring him on to him against your clit as he attacked you with his tongue. his hums would spur you on to moan more, making him hum more. it was a whole cycle of the two of you getting lost in eachother’s sounds and pleasures.

as soon as your moans turned into whines and your thighs began to slightly shake against his hold, he pulled away, your wetness covering his chin and his lips. making him practically glow in the darkness surrounding you both. you whined, the knot in your stomach slipping from you and getting lost in his gaze.

he licks all around his lips, “you’re not cumming unless it’s ‘round my cock, angel.” his gruff voice making you shiver. with that, he stood up, making you lay back in the car seats. he hovered over you, one of his legs still out of the car, as his other leg was in between yours. he brought his lips down to yours, tongues instantly linking together as he hummed in your mouth. you could taste yourself on his tongue, your hands went to his neck and hair, slightly tugging on the black locks.

with a firm grip on his hair, you brought your other hand to his shoulder, pushing him down to sit, his back against the closed door of the car, one of his long legs stretched out on the seat and the other rested in a normal seating position on the floor of the car.

he furrowed his brows at your boldness, lips giving you a soft, lust-dazed smile. you put your hands in his thighs, slightly tugging at his pants. he lifted his hips to take off both his pants and underwear with a chuckle. you wanted to hear that sound forever.

the whole time you looked at his face, kind of intimidated to look down, as he finished and looked at you, he raised a brow, “It won’t bite y’know.”

you slowly looked down, your eyes widening at his length. his cock was pretty. he looked long, very long— maybe more than 7’. the head of his cock was flushed a pretty dark pink, slightly darker than the rest of his length. precum leaking down his dick from the tip.

the sound of another heavenly chuckle of his brought you out of your daze, he waited patiently for you. not trying to push you. was this the fushiguro you really knew? how was he being so soft? so kind almost?

you moved your hand towards him, gripping his length as he hissed. you pumped him slowly, his eyebrows furrowing and mouth hanging open as he let out ragged breaths and threw his head back.

you could easily say he looked the prettiest right now. so you did, “it’s so pretty.”

his dark eyes moved from the ceiling to you, raising a brow as he tried to smirk, you hand tightening around him made him wince instead.

“p-pretty?” he said in a shaky voice, almost making you chuckle. you smiled and nodded your head. if you weren’t in pure ecstatic bliss right now, you would believe fushiguro blushed at your words.

you slowly leaned down to his cock, he held his breath as your soft lips pressed a kiss to his tip. you circled your tongue around his head, his thighs slightly shaking at the action. soft pants leaving his plum lips.

you slowly took him in your mouth, less than half of it barely fitting before it hit the back of your throat. you looked up at him, he was biting his lips, looking down at you. you disconnect from his cock with a ‘pop’, a few strings of saliva around your lips as you licked them, “wanna hear you too.” you said softly, he nodded swiftly, wanting you to continue your previous actions.

you licked a strip all the way on the prominent vein showing at the side of his length. he winced in pleasure, moaning as you took him in your mouth again, bobbing your head up and down in a slow pace.

he gave out a slow whine, his hand moving to your shoulder, pulling you back from his now saliva-covered cock. his face scrunched as he took deep breaths, “i’m c-close, don’t wanna cum in your mouth.” you looked at him dumbfounded, he gave out a low chuckle, “c’mere.” he shifted on the car seat, sitting down completely and pulling you into his lap.

he held your chin, bringing your lips down to his, you melted into him, letting him dominate your mouth with his tongue. you gasped and moaned as you felt him shift, his cock sitting right at your entrance. he looked up at you, holding your hips, “gonna put it in slowly, kay?” his velvet voice making you shiver, you nodded. feeling his tip between your folds, you moaned, hands tightening on his broad shoulders.

he slowly pushed you down onto him, filling you to the brim. you screamed from the stretch, your eyes squeezing shut as he shushed you and drew small circles on your hips with his thumb. you opened your eyes, lids heavy on lust, your teeth pressed down so hard on your lower lip it drew blood. he leaned forward, licking the blood of your lips, then pressing his lips softly to yours.

you made out as his cock still sat in you, unmoving. you could feel him twitch against your walls as you bit on his lip while pulling it. he looked down between you, “fuuuuck,” you looked to where his gaze was, slightly confused. you saw what he was gawking it, his long cock made a bulge in your stomach, you clenched around him involuntarily, making him hiss as he spoke through his teeth, “if you clench around me one more time i’m going to cum without having fucked you.” there was venom in his voice, but it was delicious, you wanted it. you were insatiable.

you clenched around him, this time on command. he groaned as he pressed down on the bulge his cock made on your stomach with his slender fingers. you felt warm liquid fill you up, you moaned, as he started fucking into you, the sound of skin slapping filling the car.

you could feel his cum from a few seconds prior leak onto his thighs as he kept fucking into you, with a bruising pace. you screamed as his hand landed a harsh slap on your ass, kneading it with his palm to soothe the pain, “fuck—fuck, fuck i told you i’d cum, now you’re gonna have to take it.” you clenched around him with his words, cumming around him with a loud whine as he slapped your ass again.

his movements didn’t falter for a second. fucking you through your orgasm and after it, your hands pushing away at his chest pathetically, pulling a menacing chuckle from him as he held your arms as you shook.

you had barely came down from your high when you felt him slap you other ass cheek, thrusting into you harder than before if that was even possible, his balls slapping your ass with each movement, your thighs shaking. “f-fushiguro—“, he grunted, “megumi. say my name.” you shivered, “m-megumi!!” a chant of blabbers leaving your mouth as he fucked you dumb. “that’s right angel.”

he buried his head into your neck, you could feel his hot breaths on the shell of your ear, his movements slowing down, or so you thought. he started a different pace, instead of fast thrusts, he gave you hard ones, pulling out of your ruined cunt slowly and thrusting back in harshly after a few seconds.

both his palms went to your ass, holding your cheeks to move you with them, he spoke into your ear with a thrust of his hips, “i want you to know,” another hard thrust, making you scream, he spoke with a deep voice, “i need you to be,” another thrust, he groaned as you clenched around him, trying to suppress your moans so you could hear him. “i need you to be—fuck-argh-someone for me in my life,” you wrapped your hands around his head, his mouth leaving sloppy kisses on your neck as he thrusted again, “i can’t— i can’t let you g-go.”

your hand tugged on his hair, and that was his breaking point, cumming into you again as he thrusted, his thumb going to rub on your clit, making you cum with a scream as you tightened around him. your whole body shaked as he held you close, your pussy gushed from the overstimulation, your fluids covering his abs in a glistening sight.

you stood like that for a while, embracing eachother as your bodies cooled down. after a few seconds, he helped you get off of him, cleaning the both of you with a few tissues as he handed you your clothes.

you didn’t know what you were now, you just knew you were happy. you were happy when you screamed out the window of his car, his hand resting on your upper thigh as you urged him to shout at the empty road too.

you were happy when he got you both food, eating together as you laughed and talked. you were happy because you felt safe.

safe to just talk for hours with him about your fears and the things you’re ashamed of.. hours of pure vulnerability with him, and when you would look up, expecting the worst. you would feel his lips against yours.

only one thing bugged and ate away at your head when he dropped you off at your house, making you still your hands on the doorbell,

he never apologized.

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© all content belongs to e-jaegerenthusiast, do not repost or copy any of my work

aaaaaa i hope you guys enjoyed this one <3

it took me a long time to write phew~ my first actual fic posted~

part 2

xxxx