#but it's like... the choice is either consent to it or have your health keep getting worse

[thethingything]

we have a dentist appointment tomorrow and on the plus side we're not really anxious about the appointment itself because the dentist was so nice last time and actually took our medical trauma into account.

unfortunately though we do have to have anaesthetic which makes us feel like shit for at least the rest of the day, and no matter how considerate the dentist is, having a medical professional touch us at all does still trigger certain trauma and then I end up having a bunch of panic attacks at some point within the next few days and it's a really shit time. I really don't wanna have to deal with that and the concept of it is making me nauseous

[nocasdatsgay]

Sold

Pairing: Technically Lucien/Reader | Word Count: 1739| Rating M

Summary: Beron buys you for his sons. Specifically, Lucien

Warnings: Family sells reader off to the forest house, Dubious Consent, Loss of Virginity, mildly descriptive sex. Brief physical abuse.

A/N: This is the first in a series where consorts are kept by Beron to keep his sons entertained. You are responsible for what you consume. Also IDK if anyone wants to be tagged so let me know. I am so scared of tagging people on iffy stuff that might be triggering.

Harlots of Autumn Master List | Read on AO3 |Part 1 of Harlots of Autumn

The day you were presented to the court during a ball as an eligible female, was the day that sealed your fate. You were meant to secure a husband and elevate your family’s status just like your cousins. It was harder for you, not being of the Autumn Court. That didn’t mean you couldn’t try. You had begged your aunt and uncle to take you to the next ball and begrudgingly they did. You regretted it when you were watched like an Autumn Hawk by five of the seven Vanserra heirs.

The youngest- he was your age or possibly a little older. He seemed the least intimidating of them all. He didn’t pay you much mind, thankfully. Only chatted with you for a brief moment. You thought that was why his brothers were staring. But you still felt eyes on you as you worked the room, talking up males closer to your station than an Heir of the High Lord. You felt confident in your mingling by the end of the night. Until you went to leave and instead of immediately traveling home, you were pulled into a room by your uncle.

“The High Lord has made an offer for you.” He did not look you in the eyes.

“For me?” You frowned. Your aunt looked solemn and not meeting your gaze either. “What kind of offer?”

“You have to understand, dear. You’re getting older and with the new babe to raise- You’ll be well taken care of.” She said softly.

“I don’t understand.” You mind flashed to the way the heirs' eyes raked over you. How they sneered and watched you all night. “Am I, am I to be betrothed?”

“No. No, you won’t be married.”

You were more confused. “What did he offer you? What does he want with me?” You became more frightened the longer his silence went.

“Being an orphan and from another court, this was honestly the best choice.” Your aunt seemed to speak to herself instead of you.

“What did you do?” Your heart was racing, tears welling in your eyes.

Your uncle finally looked at you. His sadness was palpable.

“He gave us more land- more money than we know what to do with, in exchange for you. For his sons.”

“Sons?” Your were going to be sick. More tears clouded your vision. You knew exactly what that meant. “You gave me up to be a harlot? For some extra land and money?”

“You’ll be taken care of. You’ll be paid handsomely, and have your own money. You’ll be part of the court. It’s a life better than what a male of our station could ever-”

“But I will be a whore!” You cried out.

“You will be a mistress,” your uncle hissed. “This is not a brothel, you’ll be under the protection of the High Lord. You’ll still be able to see us-“

“As I would want to see you after this,” you hissed in return.

He back-handed you for it. You stumbled and cradled your cheek.

“He wants you for his youngest first,” your uncle continued, glaring at you. “You’re lucky he doesn’t want you for himself. If you’re smart you just might become the youngest son’s wife.”

“A whore never becomes a wife,” you whispered.

“This is not a debate. We will go home and pack your things. They want you back here by tomorrow afternoon.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You wondered if you could die of shame.

Walking into the Forest House the next day, your aunt made you hold your head high despite your fate. You were ushered down the halls to the infirmary to meet with the healer. Thankfully the healer was female. You were in good health. You held your breath as the female went under your skirts and checked you. You had declined male advances your whole life, waiting like a good female for a husband.

Obviously that got you far.

That evening you were led to a room and bathed by servants. The pine green dress they gave you to put on was worth more than months wages in the village, judging by the fabric. They styled your hair and you avoided looking at yourself in the mirror. More servants brought you food and then finally you were left alone. You couldn’t eat, nausea from nerves rolling your stomach. You wanted to rage; to cry. You knew your aunt and uncle didn’t love you- not when you were the cause of your mother’s death during childbirth. But you never thought they would sell you.

The door opened, jolting you from your thoughts. The kind male you spoke with briefly last night came in. He was just as lovely as the night before; dressed down in a white tunic and brown trousers. He smiled, though it didn’t reach his kind eyes. You stood and curtsied.

“Lord Lucien,” she stared at the floor.

You introduced yourself and stumbled over the title of lady. You didn’t know if you could call yourself a lady now.

“I remember,” he replied softly.

You dared to look up, your eyes meeting his sad russet ones.

“Shall we get this over with?” You glanced at the bed in the room, twisting your hands together.

Lucien scoffed. “We don’t have to do this.”

You frowned, fear flipped your stomach. “They will check me.”

“There are ways around that,” Lucien replied flippantly.

You started to panic.

“Lord Lucien, if you are as kind of a male as you seem, please allow me this comfort.” You pleaded. “I- you seem like you’d be more gentle than your brothers.” You were met with silence. “Please? I don’t want to force you but I also don’t-“ you couldn’t say it.

If he didn’t take your maidenhood, one of the other males would. You doubted they cared whether or not they hurt you badly. Lucien sighed heavily; you wonder if he was realizing the same thing.

“Promise me you will tell me if I hurt you.” You nodded. “Can I undress you?”

“Yes.” Your face heated against your will.

“Turn around. I’ll only take off your dress, then you can get on the bed.”

You inhaled deeply to calm your nerves and turned to face away from him. You heard his footsteps; he stopped behind you and gently brushed back your hair. Goosebumps cascaded down your arms, and he slowly dragged his fingers down your neck to where your dress ties started on your back.

“Oh you’re a devil,” you laughed, unable to stop yourself.

He chuckled behind you. “I want to make it good for you, is that not what you asked for?”

“I suppose I did.”

He undid the ties to your dress, the front of it falling forward. You held the fabric close to your chest instead of letting it fall out of instinct. Lucien ran a warm finger up your spine. He leaned in close and you tense your shoulders.

“Drop the dress and get on the bed.” His warm breath fanned along your ear and neck.

Reluctantly, you obliged. The bed was soft, better than the one in the place you once called home. The duvet was a forest green with white sheets underneath. You shuddered at how those sheets would be stained by the end of this. You covered your chest with your arms and sat at the head of the bed.

“Don’t be so shy,” he grinned wickedly at you as he tugged off his shirt.

Your eyes went to his chest, then downward to his trousers before quickly you looked back to his eyes. It felt like your whole face was flushed. He crawled up the bed to you and you could smell his scent sweeten with arousal. He looked like it would eat you alive, the way he grinned at you.

“Lay back, let me see you.” He groaned when you moved your arms, revealing your breasts. “You are a pretty one.”

He pushed you back and crawled over you. You were correct about his gentleness. He was so careful with you, asking you constantly if it was okay to touch you or if it hurt. Lucien coaxed you into relaxing by kissing you gently and then moving down to take your breast in his mouth. He had you squirming under him, your hips rolling against his and his hard cock in his trousers. Lucien moved down further and made you come on his tongue and fingers before he took you with his cock. Then he made you come again with him.

Good was an understatement of how you felt. You didn’t come to your senses until he moved off of you. Then you felt too naked, cold from his lack of body heat over you. You moved to get out of the bed, to grab the dress from earlier, if only to cover yourself before the healers came. You looked back at the sheets and gasped. Lucien was lying on the other side of the bed, arm over his eyes to block out the light. He lifted his arm to look at you.

“Are you all right?”

“The sheets,” you grabbed the dress off the floor to cover yourself. “They’re clean.”

”I don’t know about that. I know I broke a sweat getting that second one out of you.” Lucien grinned at you. “You were pretty wet for me too when I finally fucked you. I’m sure that’s on the sheets as well.”

“There’s no blood, Lucien,” you scowled, cheeks flushing at his blatant crudeness.

He laughed. “Females only bleed when a male doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

”But the healer-“

”Edith won’t care, I promise.” He sat up and looked over the bed for his own clothes. “Let me go get her, I’m sure she’s ready to be done with this as we are.”

Regrettably, that was the first and only time you went to bed with Lucien. You had assumed before that night that you were sent to take his own first time but Lucien was far too experienced for that to be the case. You later found out the real reason you were given to him was because of his dalliance with lesser fae. As crudely put by one of the brothers, they “assumed a high fae cunt would change his mind.”

It didn’t; and a few years later a poor female paid the price for it. You wouldn’t see Lucien again after that for another century.

[emeritus-fuckers]

HI I LOVE Y'ALL'S BLOG SO MUCH!!! AAAA

Okay, I'll calm down now. I was wondering if you'd be interested by the idea of a newly summoned ghoul reader struggling to get to grips with their instrument and panicking about not being good enough for tour yet and being comforted by one of the ghouls?

I'm currently struggling to learn bass to get good enough for a band I have a chance to be in and it's really wreaking havoc on my mental health being so confused and getting it wrong over and over and y'all's writing in comfort scenarios always makes me feel better... So I thought I'd shoot my shot!

I hope you're having an amazing day, this blog brightens up my day every time! <3

Water ghouls helping a newly summoned ghoul learn their instrument

Chain (it/ghoul)

Chain is a fucking goofball.

Don't let its big, intimidating form fool you, Chain is a goofy dumbass who can barely keep up a "mysterious" act.

So when you come to ghoul and ask to learn how to play bass, it's delighted to help, all giggly and shit.

Ghoul's not the best teacher, he gets too excited and ahead of ghoulself, teaching you the "cool" riffs becore the easy ones.

It does get bonus points for being patient and hyping you up, though.

And the reward kisses. The reward kisses are nice.

Lake (he/him)

He comes accross very serious and when you ask him and you are pretty nervous.

He nods and gestures for you to follow him. He finds a cozy practice room well out of the way.

Despite his scary front he takes teaching you very seriously and is very supportive.

He's actually a really good teacher and takes time to show you good technique and teach you the songs you need to learn.

He rarely gives out compliments but when he does you know he completely means it.

Also when you get him to smile, either by a joke or playing well or just by being yourself.

You end up getting very close.

River (they/them)

They are a slut about it. A complete whore.

Every single dirty joke they can make while teaching you is made. Everything from fingering it correctly to thrusting with their own bass.

Shockingly, they are still a very good teacher. Only making the dirty jokes as you get closer to mastering each skill.

River definitely sits behind you to guide your hands on new notes and skills, hands on teacher when it’s needed. Only with consent of course.

Will absolutely bring you out for food after practice. They’re a slut but a classy slut. They buy you dinner before trying to get in your pants.

Cowbell (they/it)

It's a bit surprised to be your choice for bass lessons. After all, their only real performance was what landed them a name. And it was just trying to prank Papa.

But, the name stuck and it just couldn't go out of its way to change it, especially when you started to use "Cowie" as a cute little nickname that they just needed to hear every single day of its life.

But, fortunately for you, they just so happen to play bass as well, just like most water ghouls. They were just beginner level, but still.

You two practice together, figuring the instrument out.

It's a lot of fun, both you and Cowbell enjoy it a lot, even if it's a bit frustrating sometimes. At least you get frustrated together, right?

You end up better than it. Somehow, you end up tutoring them, instead of the other way around.

Mist (he/she)

He's thrilled to help out with that. Mist really likes alone time together, especially if you two just chill, enjoying a common hobby.

So she's happy to teach you guitar. Might offer playing Guitar Hero first so you can train your fingers a bit.

The first song you learn how to play is Gorillaz's Feel Good Inc., which is her favorite non-Ghost song. And the bass is very pleasant in the song.

He casually rests against your back, just listening to you play and giving small comments on what you can do better whenever you mess up.

There's this weird feeling of comfort during your practice sessions.

She starts a tickle fight the moment you put the guitar down.

Never let them know your next move type of shit.

Rain (he/she/ve)

He's a bit surprised when you ask, but doesn't see a reason to refuse.

But hey, ve's a good teacher! Really good, actually.

Rain sometimes even organizes classes for ghouls and Siblings who want to play bass.

She first gets you your own bass and lets you customize it with stickers. Not many people know this, but Sodo got the "YouSuck" sticker from her.

He's very patient with you, starting with basic notes and riffs before slowly moving to more complicated stuff.

Somehow, no matter who ve's teaching, her work is always excellent when it comes to teaching.

And he's very sweet with his rewards, if you catch my drift.

Storm (they/he)

They're chill with the idea. I mean, if you wanna learn, then who is he to deny you the fun that is playing bass?

Also, he doesn't say bass like the instrument, he says it like the fish, which is sorta funny during the lessons.

No, they will not be corrected on how to say it.

He's gonna sit you in his lap and show you everything, step by step.

They also let you experiment and play around, offering tips whenever you ask.

A decent teacher, not too great but not too bad, either.

~

Chain, Cowbell, Mist, Rain and Storm written by Nosferatu.

Lake written by Nyx.

River written by Death.

[lucius-morningstar]

Happy Family

I like to imagine that with how heaven kinda treats family/friends. I definitely love that so many people headcanon that the sins are actually super supportive and pretty good to each other family wise. I do love the idea that all the sins are just super supportive (for the most part) of each other and all love their Niece (Or in this case Niece and Nephew) and show her love and appreciation in their own ways. 1. I'd like to imagine that Charlie was a big reason Satan got himself a little anger management buddy (Again have not seen the episode fully just a spoil here or there) 2. Ozzie and Bee are by far Charlie's favorites out of the two. Bee being super into parties and in her own way knows Charlie's limits and keeps an eye on her in case she gets a bit too wild. 3. Ozzie being that one who helps Charlie when she's unsure of her sexuality and making sure she's careful. I feel like consent is something Charlie would know due to her parents but Ozzie explaining it even more clearly to help her out is pretty helpful. 4. Bel is definitely her Napping buddy and is someone she goes to often to clear her head when stress gets to be too much. Mental health is probably her specialty especially when it comes to being well rested. 5. Leviathan, is probably another one who lets her vent. I get the vibe from Levia that they're someone who listens to people and tends to keep their opinion to themselves. Maybe nervous or maybe mute, honestly could expect either. and of course 6. While I can see Charlie still caring for Mammon, she is probably on her list of people not to get close too when it comes to finances and property ownerships. After all, he did make discount versions of her fathers park for profits because he couldn't get anything out of it. Greed is one emotion I feel Charlie keeps the most locked away so avoiding Mammon is maybe the best choice, not to mention she probably would give Mammon money if he pushed hard enough.

Honestly shoot your opinions down in a reply or reblog, how do you think Charlie is with her aunties and uncles.

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

brilliant minds episode feat. SUSAN BAY NIMOY are you kidding me thoughts

ah, a timeskip in the flashbacks! now wolf is an Older Teen who is Different From The Others—at first you think because he’s got his nose in a medical textbook all the time, but then you look at the very heterosexual group of peers he’s distant from and realize that if he didn’t know as a younger teen, he definitely knows by now that he’s gay

“heartbeats,” oh man! a little anachronistic, but it’s a good mood-setting song for this sequence

(i do think dating a member of the family hosting you in a foreign country is a bad move, independent of the risk of period-typical homophobia. obviously not the primary concern for anyone in this scene, ijs.)

and the patient of focus is an elderly woman who has become very sexually active since her husband’s death. her sons finding this “inappropriate” is laughable to me, but i recognize that this is because i’ve heard too many “STDs run rampant in nursing homes because elderly heterosexuals don’t use protection and are rarely monogamous” stories on this cursed website

tangentially related: why tf do the sons think they have any say over what medications their mother takes?? they’ve been involved in the conversations about her health, yeah, but all the procedures and treatments were done with her consent. then the second wolf brings up libido enhancers they come in all “whoa now, we don’t approve of that!” and??? it’s not your call, buddy

all this to say: an episode theme of shame projected by relatives onto “inappropriate” forms of sexuality is a solid choice here.

the patient’s sons wanted their mother to gracefully transition from nonsexual maternal figure to nonsexual grandmaternal figure, never acknowledging her personhood independent of that connection to them and theirs; wolf’s mother wanted to keep him an innocent child, free from the dangers of gay adulthood that she had witnessed in her practice. eternal mother, eternal child, dehumanizing either way. i’m glad both groups seem to have moved on from that way of thinking by end of episode.

wolf thinking his mom said something to scare nichols off, and all she said was “don’t hurt him”?? god, nichols what is wrong with you (affectionate)

wolf and nichols were so cute prior to that moment! that embarrassing early days all over each other eagerness (in your workplace? multiple times?? where your mother also works??? if i didn’t already know wolf was a big risk-taker…), but also being able to tease each other over silly little things like utensil preferences? cute.

and then! “pain is inevitable, but so is joy”? i mean, i disagree—as someone who has been deeply depressed for over half my life, i don’t think joy is inevitable, i think it’s something you have to seek out and grab on to—but damn it’s a good line. (followed by the return of “heartbeats,” aw! falling fast are we, wolf?)

indirect spock reference my beloved! (i mean, with susan as the guest star you gotta, right?)

i am worried about carol’s stalker patient storyline. your husband cheated, went no contact with her, and then she looked you up online and became your patient?? girl. you cannot let this continue! even if she threatens to do something to herself as a result of you removing yourself from her care team! especially then, god damn, are you new? if patients threaten their lives there are steps to take.

also talk to your husband about this, he needs to know girl is escalating

dana’s expression is so delighted when the patient’s two boyfriends come to visit. i love her.

i really do not know how to feel about intern love triangle developments this episode. 1. imo the ericka → jacob feelings came out of nowhere, totally unexplained, and they continue to be presented in the most boring way possible (someone else says something sexual or romantic, cut to a longing look from ericka). 2. the twist at the end was fun but i have no idea what it means. is ericka using van? did she actually have a crush on him the whole time and pretended to pine over jacob to keep van from finding out? does she like both of them?? the messiness is unexpected of ericka, and i could be into it for that reason alone, but i need more info. maybe next episode will provide!

[feminist-space]

Tweet thread from broadwaybabyto:

"“I got Covid but it was worth it!” feels like the pinnacle of our misguided “you do you” approach to the pandemic.

It’s airborne - it’s not just about YOU. Even if you’ve decided being sick was worth it - what about the unlucky people who cross your path & get infected.

People who may not have attended an event, vacation, concert or whatever high risk activity you felt was worth the risk?

There’s many people in public for work or other unavoidable reasons. People not just having fun. You’re risking their health when you take no precautions.

If you use the DNC as example - people are proudly proclaiming that they knew the risk (though did they? Really?) and chose to attend anyways.

I would argue that you can never truly understand the risk since no one “expects” to get Long Covid or die.

But even if we go along with their rationale and assume they knew the risk & felt it was worthwhile… what about the people who were working the event? Staff at the venue, people on public transit, working in nearby hotels or at the airport? People serving them food?

Did THOSE people consent to the risk? Of course not. Many of them are working minimum wage jobs that they need to survive - not attending “fun” events and then making light of catching a serious disease.

They had NO choice or say in the matter.

Mitigations cost money. Many people can’t afford high quality respirators, air filters, nose sprays and mouthwashes (let alone expensive treatments like Paxlovid).

It’s often those who can’t afford the best protection who are exposed the most. We don’t talk about that enough.

...

It’s infuriating when you’re high risk and already disabled like me. We are TERRIFIED. We know people are out there knowingly positive and not masking. We know people are refusing to take precautions because they don’t think THEY are high risk. And we end up paying the price.

I’m not saying you can’t “live your life”… but why can’t you live your life in a more responsible manner? Demand clean air and upgraded ventilation in public spaces. Wear a mask. If you’re sick - stay home. If you attend a high risk event - mask afterwards & test regularly.

There are ways to do all the things you WANT to do without putting innocent people in harms way. Without risking the lives and health of others who are actively invested in avoiding spreading (or catching) covid. It CAN be done.

Finally - if the idea of infecting and harming someone else isn’t enough to sway you - consider this:

Most people suffering from severe Long Covid didn’t think they would become disabled either. They didn’t think they were high risk. They thought the risk was “worth it”.

We’ve been led to believe “only the vulnerable” are at risk - but the truth is everyone can get Long Covid. Many people are extra vulnerable and don’t even realize it. Repeat infections increase your odds as well.

Some of the sickest Long Covid patients I’ve met were young and healthy when they became sick. Many had mild acute infections but then decompensated over the weeks & months that followed.

The same could happen to you. The only way to avoid Long Covid is to avoid Covid.

Please reconsider saying your infection was “worth it.” Wear a mask. Care about the risk you pose to others.

If you’re struggling - reach out. There are many people here (myself included) who will happily give advice on mitigations and ways to keep yourself & others safe.

We are truly all in this together - people are just refusing to accept that fact. The sooner we acknowledge that we will succeed or fail together - the sooner real change can come."

Read the full thread here: https://x.com/broadwaybabyto/status/1827907305603559725

[katherineholmes]

So, I got this question a while back, and I’ve spent some time thinking about this now that I’m a little free.

There are just a few things I want to say here :

1. Yes, Elena has lost a lot of people. She knows grief really well. But I can't see her becoming as emotionally manipulative as Esther. I agree that Elena would do anything to save any potential kids she has, but that's where the similarities between her and Esther end. I don't think Elena would ever stand by and watch any child of hers get physically abused, especially if she had the power to stop it.

I also don't think Elena would take a chance like Esther did - because that's what the spell for vampirism was - a chance, there was no way of knowing if the spell would work and Elena wouldn't do that unless there was literally no other option available. If Elena was in a position like Esther's, she'd simply leave the village - an option that was available to Esther and Mikael, but one they never picked, owing to their egos (or rather, Mikael’s).

2. To be very honest with you, I have explicitly stated that Elena wants to have the baby in both fics. In Irresistible, she makes a conscious choice to both keep the babies and tell Klaus about it. It is her choice. She goes to a doctor. She refuses the idea of abortion that is presented to her. In Baby It’s Cold Outside, she tells Elijah explicitly that she is having the baby because she wants to. She thinks about having an abortion for a long time and then dismisses that idea. Hell, she even acknowledges that different people are trying to control her and are infringing on her bodily autonomy and decides that she won’t do what they want. That she’ll do what she wants. And Elijah is extremely clear that he will support whatever decision she makes.

Elena’s eighteen and pregnant, she’s not going to jump for joy at an unexpected pregnancy. She has depression and PTSD at the very least, and she’s in flux, deciding what she wants from her life. And she’s taking these decisions on her own merit. Without external pressure/influence. I’m sorry if it feels like she doesn’t love the baby, she does, it’s just buried under a multitude of mental health issues, and how she deals with it all is a part of her character arc.

3. I want to be extremely clear when I say this, I have never, nor will I ever write forced pregnancy within a fic without tagging it. It is extremely insulting of you to imply that I would. It is also extremely offensive of you to imply that I’m writing something which is compromising on a character’s bodily autonomy, when I am a huge proponent of both - proper tagging and consent (even when my characters don’t understand the intricacies of consent - I will tag it properly). If I were writing about a forced pregnancy, that fic would have about five trigger warnings regarding said forced pregnancy.

I’m extremely sorry if you find this rude or if it wasn’t your intention, but your question honestly came off as a little underhanded to me, and it seems a bit rude. Just to be clear, Elena will not be having an abortion in either fic, so if you’re expecting that, then maybe my fics aren’t for you.

[catboyloon]

PINNED POST READ THIS HELLO HI

THIS IS A NSFW BLOG. THEREFORE 18+!!!! so if you're a minor or an ageless blog either get the fuck out or block this blog. or i will block YOU on sight. nothing personal its just for the safety of us both.

also i'm 18, my bday is in septummyber- i mean september. also some weight info:

starting weight: 133lbs current weight: 137.4lbs goal weight: more and more until it's a lot harder to get up, then maaaybe i'll stop :3

anyway. rest my dni is the same as my main blog, no proshippers (i hate incest!! :D and pedophilia!! i hate them both!!!) no xenophobes or bigots etc etc you get the idea.

also this should go without saying but their body, their choice. respect people even if they're hot or not hot. if someone wants to lose weight, let them. if someone doesnt wanna do kink anymore, respect that. don't be a creep. don't fetizhize and objectify random people just because their body appeals to a kink you have.

id prefer if people don't mention/say my main blog on here, just feels like i should keep them separate but if you're here, you can ask me privately for it or you already know my main soooo

the rest of this is optional but will probably be useful. have fun but also i like asks and talking so feel free to hit me up

anyway things you will likely see here:

Inflation (belly & body, also SAFE/NON-FATAL popping. maybe some breast/ass/etc expansion but mainly tums & their whole bods. also like, being inflated with anything almost. air, water, just pump me man make me Round and Full)

Weight gain/feedism (feeding/eating a lot, rapidly gaining weight, forcefeeding, just being fat as fuck as a sex thing)

Burping/hiccups (burps are hot as fuck to me and hiccups are cute)

other things that i'm not into but can't go on my main because they're nsfw; usually just things i find really funny or interesting. like weird kinks that i'm not into (if not turn me off)

also only gonna tag stuff i'm not into as "#not my thing but still cool" so. im not gonna organize THAT much for reblogging things, sorry

things you likely will not see:

pregnancy (not into it)

vore (i don't think i'm into it but it might be good I DON'T KNOW. but i mainly am not into it)

farting (actual turn off sorry)

anything permanent in a forced way (but "permanent" as in "they're choosing to keep themselves like this" is fine)

noncon/dubious consent (I think consent is hot because i mean. the fact they actually WANT something makes them getting it hotter i think. free use can be hot but i think that's different)

oviposition/eggs i think

uneven/specific bodypart expansion (e.g. no really huge feet or lips or anything)

head inflation/uber (i think the puffy eyes are scary. sorry)

unsafe/fatal/permanent popping (also kinda scary but also like. why would you want that)

healthplay/anything fatal at all (i think the words morbidly obese are hot but i 1. do not believe that the fat itself causes health issues but rather your diet does that, and 2. i would rather actually not have health issues from being fat. i just wanna take up a room then a house then a parking lot with my flab man i don't wanna do that in a hospital room)

as for the tags!

crrk.txt for text posts/just me talking, may not always be kinky crrk.png for art i post to here not my thing but still cool for anything nsfw i reblog to here that i'm not into (so, not inflation or fat) but find neat anyway tummy tuesday for, well, what do you think bellypix for, obviously, pics i take of my tummy :3 irl for anything irl, like a video of me blowing up like the balloon i am afterdark-shitposts for nsfw memes/shitposts i make, not always made to be horny but always nsfw (or too suggestive for my main) also probably gonna tag stuff with a video or audio as "video"/"videos" and "audio" like my main. same for asks, "asks" and "anon asks" just for sorting

okay that's it. enough yapping from me, anyway like my main blog you can see when this was last edited by looking in the tags

[marshmallowprotection]

do you think saeyoung would be ok with a mc that works a looot just like him??

i see a lot of people who really miss their partner bc of how much they work (WHICH IS COMPLETELY VALID BTW!!!) but that never happened in my relationship since both me and my partner work our asses off so there barely is a moment to actually miss each other

outsiders said i was kind of a bad partner for not having so much time to invest in my relationship when the amount of responsibilities is out of my control :( not to mention that i am too much of a perfectionist so i end up overlooking every single detail

ok sorry for the vent ksjansheb what are your thoughts in a situation like that?

Saeyoung will work himself into the ground when he has to. In the name of securing a safe and happy future for those that he loves most, he doesn't mind working until it feels like he's going to pass out. The fact is, that's not a healthy way to live.

It's one thing to enjoy your job and it's another thing to push yourself into the ground because you feel like you have to keep working to sustain something.

Every person who is considered a workaholic oftentimes is that way because they are consumed with hunting for a distraction of some kind and the easiest way to get that in a capitalist society is to bury yourself in work.

You're either looking for a distraction or the work you're doing is simply never enough and you don't know when to stop. It's good to be thinking of your work in a way that can benefit other people, not just yourself, but there is definitely a boundary line and he is the kind of person that needs to learn a healthy balance.

It's fine if you and your partner in both the consent and understand what it means to have a tough job, because some jobs are tough but necessary in our society.

But if not everybody is willing to consent to this, then it's not a healthy relationship. What matters is your consent and awareness of the situation. That's that. Nobody else can really comment about your relationship if the two of you are okay with the way that things are. Communication and conversations in this realm are important when you are in this kind of person. Not a bad person for enjoying the grind, but, it's important to know that your partner knows where you're coming from with that.

He would understand where you're coming from when you tell him that your work keeps you busy for all hours of the day. He knows what it feels like to be so tired because you've been working for 12 hours non-stop.

Of course, the circumstances are a bit different in this situation. He didn't have a choice but to work that long. You have a say in how much you work, more or less, so it does surprise him a bit that you would want to grind yourself into the brimstone no matter what your job is. He gets it. He can't judge it. He's no different.

But, his work I think is going to change drastically after he starts the healing process. He's not going to be working himself into the ground all the time anymore. It's fine if you are going to continue working hard at your job with long hours, but he's not going to be that way forever.

Of course, there is nothing to say that he wouldn't be content with being a little househusband. In fact, there's nothing wrong with that in his eyes. He's got enough money to take care of the two of you for the rest of his life if he wants to not work again. If you want to not work again. He understands why you do what you do and as long as you're willing to talk with him about your health and safety when it comes to these long hours, there's really nothing here that's bad.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Reefer Madness Lives

This is not such a hot paper, and the peer review process where it was published is not so hot either. Peer review in general is... Let's be charitable and say it's more for money and prestige than scientific rigor. But, just for basic integrity, you need to operate with a double-blind. CMAJ is single-blind, so their reviewers know if they're up against anyone famous or well-connected who might bring them a lot of attention. And their primary criteria is "importance and novelty." Less delicately, if it looks like it will get a lot of clicks and cites, they'll be pleased to publish it. This is not all that out-of-the-ordinary for science journals, and that's kinda bad.

But a paper saying that pot is gonna poison your children and give people schizophrenia will get a shitton of clicks and cites. It's the number one trending story on CBC right now! And there are live comments!

I need CBD and THC to deal with my PTSD and sleep problems. It's possible that, after being under-treated for decades, I will eventually deal with my underlying health issues enough to sleep unassisted, but I ain't there yet. And ya know what makes it really hard to make it to go to doctor's appointments and get care? Not being able to sleep!

I had a medical marijuana card before, and I could probably qualify for one again if I had to. But A) Do you really want me taking up a doctor's time for this when there aren't enough doctors for everyone right now? and B) Legalized recreational use keeps availability convenient, variety and quality-control reasonable, and prices low. If you are going to inflict capitalism on me, don't kneecap what little benefit a free market is able to provide.

Now, we don't want to get people high without their consent, and children cannot consent to getting high (although some of them do need cannabis products for medical reasons), so for fuck's sake store your shit carefully if you've got kids. But "cannabis poisoning" as they put it, means, "I feel awful and maybe I threw up but I won't die, even if I'm super paranoid and feel like I might." Most people who wind up in the hospital are adults screwing around with edibles who don't know what to expect, and all they need is a nice, patient friend who'll tell them they're fine. This "poison" doesn't kill people. Unlike, say, antifreeze, or children's Tylenol. (Although, I hear Willie Nelson's friend had a bale of pot fall on him one time, so it's not as safe as they say!)

And the schizophrenia thing... People with mental health issues self-select for these studies by choosing to self-medicate. You might also say cannabis use has a strong correlation with PTSD flashbacks - because people with PTSD know it helps and they freaking well try it, and sometimes they still have flashbacks. A psychedelic is not the best choice for schizophrenia, god no, but if you're having associated depression and sleep issues and you haven't been diagnosed yet, you might give it a try. Better mental healthcare and better, earlier diagnoses and treatment will address this issue more effectively than yet another moral panic.

But a certain portion of the population is really invested in "drugs are bad" and "drug users are addicts and addicts are bad" narrative. Like, literally invested. It keeps them in political power and gets money for studies like this and "public health" campaigns that are really thinly-veiled, outdated DARE propaganda.

Even this study, which specifically excluded medical marijuana use, found social benefits to not criminalizing drug use and drug users. No shit. People don't get addicted to something because addiction is fun; they have severe, unaddressed problems and they're doing whatever they can to cope with them, whether that's staying stoned all the time or blowing their retirement fund on Funko Pops. And most people who use drugs don't get addicted. (Also most people who buy Funko Pops, one assumes.) Removing them from society and giving them all criminal records doesn't help anyone.

Harm reduction should be the goal here, as in most things. You will never get it perfect, but you need to take steps towards improving the general situation as much as possible. Sending the War on Drugs (really, the War on Your Own Population) into extra innings after decades of failure is... Ha-ha, well, it's self-destructive addict behaviour, y'all. Maybe you could use some social services to help you deal with your problems in a better way.

[repairingtomorrow]

Genji Shimada (Origin Story)

(Warning, this story is dark: He does hurt his cybernetic arm and it could be considered self harm. Please let me know if I need to tag anything)

To Master List

"Every living thing longs to be whole. Every living thing yearns to defy death. If from death you returned, yet the part you loved best did not...what then?"

I wake up from a dreamless sleep. I could not move except for my left arm and my head. Tears pricked my eyes as overwhelming pain came from, well, everywhere. I wanted to cry out in pain, but I couldn't due to the machine that was helping me breathe. I could tell my face was wrapped in bandages, from my jaw to the right side of my face. "Genji." I let out a pained grunt as I turned my head to the voice. It was a blonde woman with blue eyes. She had concern etched onto her face, but she flashed me a false smile.

I coughed into the tubing, and I hated the way it scraped against my throat. "Genji, I'm Doctor Ziegler. We're here to help you." She paused, glancing up to the spectators in the operating theater. She let out a tired sigh and looked back to me. She sat down on a chair and pulled herself close to me. "You've been through a terrible ordeal. Overwatch rescued you, and our medical team stabilized you." The doctor paused and took a deep breath. When she said that, the realization hit me. I survived the fight with my brother. What a cruel twist of fate.

I tried to glance down at the rest of me, but it was covered with a blanket. I could only imagine what it--I--looked like underneath. "Genji." The doctor repeated, trying to get my attention. I peeled my eyes away and looked to her again. She held my left hand and squeezed it. "We need you to make a decision..." She trailed off, looking guilty. "You can join us, and we'll bring you back to full health. You can walk, talk, grip your weapon again." She stopped, but I know what she was thinking. 'You can survive this.' So what, if I don't take this opportunity, will I be left to rot and die? Or if I do take this opportunity, I either end up alive with whatever they've done to me, or I die. Not much of a choice.

"Do you understand what's going on?" Doctor Ziegler asked, her voice gentle. I did my best to nod and she seemed to understand it. "So, do you agree?" I didn't really understand the point of asking me. I'm fucking dying either way, did they need my consent to cover their asses? Did they want me to sign a damn form? I shuddered, then nodded. "Alright then. I'm going to have to stamp your thumb on this form then. Closest thing to a signature." She explained, grabbing the ink and the form. My thumb was pressed into the ink, then onto the paper. Satisfied, she put the form away into a folder, then walked over to my I.V drip. She grabbed a syringe and medication, then filled it up, and put it in the opening. I grew drowsy as she spoke. "I'll put you to sleep, and we'll start to work on you tomorrow. Good luck to the both of us." I drifted off, going back into that dreamless sleep.

I went through so many surgeries, all over the course of six months. Rebuilding and replacing every cut bone, every decayed muscle, every piece of dead skin. I would like to say I was under for all of it, but I wasn't. There were days or even weeks where I was just barely awake. 'To keep him from having complications' they claim. I think it was just to torture me. So I can see the damage. For 6 months, I was forced to watch them cut pieces off of me, and replace them with metal and synthetics. And for a couple of months, it was painful. I was not allowed pain medication--and I didn't want it either--due to my previous habits. But they were forced to after a near death experience. Truth be told, it's a miracle I survived.

Then, I truly woke up. I took a deep breath for the first time in ages. I felt...refreshed, cool, relaxed. I wasn't in pain, yet, but I felt a strange dullness. I could tell I was sitting on something soft, yet I couldn't tell you what it was without seeing it. I opened my eyes, and my vision felt sharper than before--I never had a hard time seeing, but there was suddenly more clarity. "Vitals are good. Patient is awake, time for the movement test." I heard a familiar voice say. It was the doctor. "Genji, can you move your left hand and fingers?" I follow her instructions, though my reaction felt slow. "Slow acting, not surprising due to him still waking up." She said to herself, or perhaps to an audience? "Move your right hand please." I obeyed, not looking at my hand. I felt the vague sensation of movement, but she seemed satisfied. I followed the rest of her instructions, and I passed the test.

The doctor left the room, and it seemed I was left alone. I looked around to get my bearings. It was the operating theater, with all the lights on. The walls were made of metal: you could see your reflection, not with perfect clarity like a mirror though. I eventually sat up and swung my legs over, closing my eyes due to pain and stiffness. I slowly opened my eyes again: I wasn't sure if I wanted to look at myself, but I knew I had to eventually. I looked at my left arm: it was littered with cuts, still red and raw, but not quite needing to be bandaged anymore. I felt a pit form in my stomach, and I looked at my right arm. It wasn't human, not anymore. The top of my hand was black, with small slits in it for something. My fingers were gray, and I could see metallic cords running through my knuckles. The palm of my hand was a harsh red, a stark contrast to the rest of it. My eyes traced up my arm: my forearm was black and segmented into two pieces. The lower half, after I felt it, moved to reveal two white metal bars in my arm. I looked closer and saw cords underneath them--my "muscles" perhaps? I closed the hatch and looked at the rest of my arm. It was red and black, but looked more like skin compared to my forearm.

My heart began to race. What did the rest of me look like? I already felt sick looking at my shoulder. I looked down to the rest of me. My legs were gone, replace with plastic. I focused on my feet first: They were shaped like a foot, with toes and all, but it was white with a piece of black plate on top of them, and a hinge connected with cords for ankles. I had knives--which were covered in a plastic sheathe--attached to the back of my calves; they were black as well, with red accents. My knees didn't even exist, they were just white hinges, connecting to my black synth thighs. I had cords at my hip joints, acting as the muscle. My blood--whatever amount I had left--grew cold. My legs were gone.

I fought tears, and looked at my stomach. My left hand felt it; it was soft, since it was a synthetic skin, like my thighs and upper arm. I felt more of me, and my face heated up when I touched the edge of my crotch plate. I grew embarrassed for finding that, though I suppose the doctors tried to make my body have as many normal parts--synthetic or otherwise. I touched my chest, cords extending from the scarring of the human side of me to the metal side. Cords directly to my heart, perhaps? Or maybe just where blood flows. I didn't really care to know. I glanced behind me, at the metal wall to see the reflection of my back. A cybernetic spine greeted me, with cords wrapping around it. It disappeared about halfway down my back, and I noticed more cords connecting from my human parts. There wasn't much of my left shoulder remaining.

I looked closer at my reflection, and I saw my face. The first thing I noticed was my jaw and my mouth. I distinctly remember my jaw being broken in the altercation, and it apparently was beyond repair. The skin on my jaw, chin, and my bottom lip were replaced with black synthetic skin, and my jaw and chin bone was presumably mended with metal. Next, I noticed my eyes. Instead of normal gray eyes, my pupils were red and glowing. I still had my gray, but it was subtle unless you were looking close. I always hated my eyes--the lack of color and the fact that they reminded my father of my mother just made me detest them. But that didn't mean I wanted them to be like this. Then, I saw my scars. They were reminiscent of kind from electricity and fire. My brother burned my face; I remembered that too.

Rage and despair boiled up within me. I looked inhuman, unnatural. I was turned into a monster--no, a living weapon. I hated it. I hated my reflection, the way nothing felt right underneath me, the way pain crept up through me as I shifted. And I hated the way I was just left alone to see what had happened to me, like I was some experiment that they wanted to see the result and reaction. My skin crawled, and the part of my body where flesh meets metal itched and it irritated me. After several uncomfortable moments, I realized something: Past all my rage, irritation, pain, discomfort, disgust...there was an emptiness. Like a part of me was missing. It was not just my arm, my legs, my body missing. It wasn't just my humanity, it was my soul. In those few profane moments, I reached for my dragons. I wanted something, anything, to prove that I was still human. That I was still me. But they were gone, the manifestations of my soul, like they were never there. Nonexistent. Did he somehow take them too?

I tried to stand, to get off the damn hospital bed, but my legs gave out underneath me. I let out a frustrated roar, surprising myself at how metallic it sounded. My true voice was gone as well, and it only made me angrier. Tears flowed from my eyes and they were stained with red; irritation from the new optics, perhaps. What I was going through in this moment was humiliation and dehumanization. I wanted to lash out, and the only thing available for me to attack...was myself.

I opened my arm up, and I snaked my fingers past the metal bars and coiled the cords around them. And I just fucking pulled. It took quite a bit of strength, but once the first few cords came out, sparking and dripping with blood and oil, the consecutive ones were easier. It hurt, but felt so, so good. Like relieving tension from a wound up spring. "I'm not human anymore! I'm a monster!" I kept screaming it in my native tongue. Apparently the people watching me had enough.

Three men came in, two of which I knew, and the other I didn't. Cassidy held my cybernetic arm down while Reyes pinned my human one. The third man pinned my legs, so I couldn't hurt the others or myself. "Calm down, Genj!" Cassidy shouted as I tried to shake myself free. After a few minutes, I wore myself out. I couldn't fight it anymore. This is what I am now. They let me go, and I instinctively curl up into a ball, holding my torn up arm out. It was trembling, the nerves frayed. The two older men stood up, and the unknown man gestured for someone to enter. Cassidy stayed next to me. "We're gonna have Angie patch you up, alright?" His accent was soothing, and he ran a hand through my hair in an attempt to keep me calm.

Doctor Ziegler came in with her tools. She took the torn out wires and reconnected them, and each connection stung. But I didn't move nor react. I had no energy, no fight left in me. Reyes and Cassidy looked at me with guilt and pity, while the doctor looked a bit upset that I messed up her handiwork. And the other man--one who I later learned was Commander Morrison--he didn't seem to care; devoid of any sympathy. And I didn't want it.

I just wanted what I lost: I wanted my humanity back.

(Thanks for reading. The beginning quote, I did not come up with it. It is from a game called Warframe, and I just wanted to use it bc it felt fitting for Genji. Also, he knows Cassidy and Reyes from before his incident because he was working with them to take down the Shimadas. I was going to write about that, but it ended up being really boring; I might go back to it later since it's important to his story.)

[girl4music]

There’s lots of people that feel it went too far with the addiction storyline and feel that Willow is OOC for it but for me it made perfect sense and I’m glad they went there because internal problems can and do manifest externally when they’re that that concealed. Emotional addiction can turn into physical addiction. The metaphor can become literal. For me it was a very brave choice to go there. And you really gotta love the way Willow’s magic-addicted mind works. Her way of “fixing” the destructive and violating shit she does is to do something even more destructive and violating.

I mean observe the last three episodes: ‘All The Way’, ‘Once More, With Feeling’ and ‘Tabula Rasa’ for example:

Willow has constant fights with her girlfriend about her abuse of magic. Her way of “fixing” their relationship breaking down because of their constant fighting is to erase her girlfriend’s memories of their fighting about her abuse of magic with magic and then have sex with her while she can’t remember the memories about the recent fight they had that would immediately negate her consent to have sex or any physical intimacy with her at all. Then when that whole incident gets involuntarily exposed, Willow then decides it’s a good idea to erase Tara’s memories about that whole incident and now Tara can’t even remember who the fuck she even is at all. I don’t know about you guys but I would say that’s grounds for a restraining order, never mind just a break up. I mean fuck me, if she carried on any further with that mindset of “magic will fix everything” she’ll probably end up killing the woman out of just being incredibly reckless and careless with her.

Oh, Willow…

Like sweetie, this method to sweep your addiction under the rug never worked the first time. What makes you think it’ll work this time? Keep crossing this never-ending dangerous road and you’ll get either yourself or someone else seriously fucking hurt. Honestly, every time something difficult or traumatic happens to you or even just something you don’t like, you pull out those magic books. Magic is not gonna fix yours or anyone else’s overwhelmingly hard life darling. It’s gonna be the reason why somebody you love and that loves you loses theirs! Likely your girlfriend. You know the woman you claim to love and care for but can’t seem to stop abusing. She’s literally begging you to sort your extremely toxic shit out or she’ll leave you! I mean she really kinda has to considering you doing the insane immoral shit you’re doing with your beloved magic puts her life in danger! And yours! And everyone’s else’s! Girl, stop or you’re gonna end up the thing you desperately do not want to be. Alone and uncared about! You’re gonna end up wrecking your love life, your friendships and your mental health in one fell swoop m’dear. You really need to quit now ‘cause this addiction is going to ruin your life.

But also please don’t because this is juicy 😈

[halosluvchild]

This is just my opinion I'm not trying to be negative towards anyone.

It's obvious to all of us that Louis loves being on barricade, and even more so the adrenaline he gets from it. We also know that it's obvious that fans in pit love it there is denying that because I do believe that if it wasn't for my panic disorder, and I had the opportunity to be at barricade and touch Louis I would love it as well. I also want to point out before I go any further that I am 100% aware that Louis is a 31 year old adult man who is fully capable of making logical, reasonable, responsible, and smart decisions about his health, safety and well-being. I am also 100% aware that I am 1 fan that in the larger scale scheme of things Louis has no idea who I am and even on the off chance that I did meet him and for some stupid reason bring this opinion up to him it would have no impact on his decisions because I am nobody.

Anyway we all know what happened on the barricade in Austin TX with Louis' tank top being almost completely ripped off. Now I don't hate the barricade run but I don't love it either. For me he could take it out of the show or keep it in for the rest of his life whatever makes him happy makes me happy in the long run, but I do believe Texas took it too far just like I thought LATAM took it too far last year. What prompted this post/rant is some weird comments from a Louis UA on insta that I have now unfollowed because of them.

I started with this one out of the two because this comment in the end isn't that bad one of the girls running the update accounts explains that everyone on the crew and security at barricade was laughing after Louis' shirt was almost completely ripped out except joni who was giving them a death glare while removing her hands from Louis' shirt. Which is in my opinion completely understandable because to my understanding Joni is Louis' main security guard so I think it makes sense that Joni might be a little pissed if his asset who is already being pushed and pulled around (by his own choice) gets his shirt almost completely ripped off because in your own words your hands had to be ripped off of Louis' shirt. If a bodyguard tells you once to let go YOU LET GO. Now if you are too far into the moment and don't follow the request the first time that's okay but when it gets to the point that a bodyguard has to RIP YOUR HANDS OF THEIR ASSET you've gone too far.

Where do I begin this part. This is the comment that not only made me want to make this long ass post/rant but, it also rubbed me the wrong way. I've followed this account for long enough to know that all the admins of the account would be traveling to all of the Louis shows in the west coast starting in Seattle so they were in fact at the Phoenix show. Obviously since they are an UA they have posted their own photos and videos and of the shows that they have been to they've mostly been on barricade which there is nothing wrong with I'm just trying to put as much of the pieces of the story I have together to correlate that there could be a high probability that the admin who made this comment was the same person who ripped Louis' shirt. So putting everything I know in account and using a little bit of faith that an UA wouldn't lie I'm going off the admins word and if I am doing that then their words are very concerning. They state that the ripping the shirt thing was a "running joke between them", and "consensual". Are you sure about that? Did you have a formal conversation with Louis? Did he invite you backstage after the show in Arizona, did you all sit down and have both a right laugh and serious conversation about ripping his shirt off at a later date and that you had explicit permission to do so? Because I'm sorry but that sounds like someone in a Wattpad y/n book wrote a Wattpad y/n book. A more likely situation is that you think you had an inside joke and you thought you had consent, but the truth is you are a fan who has been on barricade multiple times leading to the likely conclusion that Louis can recognize you and your friends' faces and because of the intimacy and the big brother/friends relationship Louis has created with us it made it seem like both of you were own same page and the same level.

But the truth of the matter is Louis is not your friend anymore than he is mine or any other fans because that's what we are to him fans you were not in on some big long running joke with him because he didn't and doesn't know who you are and, most importantly you didn't have consent because once again you and your friends are fans I just can't see a logical situation in which Louis went "yes at one of the shows you attend you have my permission to grab my shirt so hard that if I didn't have a mic pack it would completely ripped from my body oh and don't mind Joni who will be extremely mad at you because I won't tell him about our inside joke or the fact that I'm giving you consent to do this he will probably grab you and rip your hands off of me" Like in what living breathing Wattpad hell situation would that fucking happen in.

okay I think this post has gone on long enough does it make sense I don't know I hope so but the TLDR is Louis Tomlinson is a multi million dollar celebrity and even though the interaction he has with his fan base makes it seem like he is our friend he is NOT we don't actually know him and he doesn't actually know us meaning you can't have an actual one on one inside joke with him or he can't give you consent to do something in my opinion is inappropriate,and most importantly what I hope to convey through this is don't be stupid on barricade and don't take it too far because I hate to say it but if one day someone takes it too far and Louis ends up hurt then it's all over but the crying.

[meowzfordayz]

sickness/health

Author’s Note: Tanjirou = 👌🏽

sickness/health

Kamado Tanjirou x Reader

Word Count: ~800

CW: none

Emergency Request Fulfilled: hello ;; i'm very new to tumblr so forgive me if i'm getting this wrong somehow- but i've been dealing with a lot of health issues lately, and i was wondering if you'd be up for writing a fic with tanjirou and a nonbinary reader? where he takes care of them throughout their health issues (muscle pains and aches, weakness, headaches, heart palpitations), hums them to sleep when they can't manage, helps them stand, washes their hair, etc? thank you, i hope i'm doing this right ;;

~faqs~

Writing hcs bc my goodness this weekend’s heat has me lethargic and blarrrgh and vwygfuiwnwbibw lmao, buuut I still wanna write !! 🥵😵‍💫🤗

Also, just a friendly reminder (I promise this is a general reminder *not* directed toward anyone !!) that emergency request fanfics are typically shorter than my usual fanfics bc they’re (emergency requests) bumped to the front of my wips queue

In other words, to balance the fact that I prioritize them, I don’t necessarily write as much for them either

Muscle aches and pains

At the first sign of any discomfort, Tanjirou offers his touch

Gentle fingers circling your shoulders; tender thumbs pressing firmly into your neck; warm palms rubbing delicately along your ribs

Oftentimes, you don’t even have to ask

Subconsciously massaging your stomach?

Grimace, wince, or frown?

Exhale a little too loudly?

He’ll notice in a heartbeat, make his way to your side, and murmur, “Can I help?”

Doesn’t initiate contact tho w/o your consent (unless you’ve consented to him initiating w/o asking first)

If you’re not one for touch, then he’s happy to bring you ice packs, heated packs — whatever temperature tickles your fancy

Keeps track of medications (i.e. ibuprofen) for you

Weakness

Def the type to go overboard in assisting you, but never intends to be belittling or overbearing

Best to just have an honest convo w/ him about what you might want and need help w/

Outline what he can do for you on good, okay, and bad days

He’s just such a sweetheart, and will coddle you as much or as not much as you desire — leaning toward much if you don’t discuss boundaries beforehand

Believes you 100% whenever you tell him I need help

Doesn’t ever assume you’re taking advantage or exaggerating

Nor is he ever bothered by anyone badgering him for caring for you so diligently

“Isn’t it t e d i o u s?”

“No,” he’ll state with finality, tone leaving no room for further argument or harassment, “Loving them is a choice, and I will always choose them.”

Headaches

Serenades you (Tanjirou’s canonically tone deaf lmao) 💀

Again: keeps track of medications (i.e. ibuprofen) for you

As well as how much you’re drinking !! #hydration is key

Will drink w/ you in solidarity

Bc drinking water can be a struggle

Reads to you, goes on walks w/ you, prepares baths for you

Simple pleasures—activities—to hopefully distract you

If your headache’s really bad, then he’ll darken the bedroom, lay in bed beside you, and reassure you as many times as necessary that, “It’s okay to just lie in bed. It’s okay to be here. To be with me. Okay?”

Heart palpitations

Ngl

Idk a lot about these, and I don’t feel like researching ‘em rn 😅

But dw !!

Tanjirou would def feel like researching them for you 😁

And do what he can to ease/observe their symptoms/affects 🥺

Can’t sleep

Lets you arrange the bed however you please

No pillows? Five pillows?

Two blankets? Seven?

Sleep on your side? Back? Diagonally? Upside down?

W/ music or the tv on? No noise at all?

Fan whirling in the middle of winter? Comforter at the end of the bed in the middle of summer?

Whatever coaxes you to sleep, Tanjirou’s willing to tolerate

“Tan?” you whisper softly, voice tinged sour with guilt

“Hm?” he rasps immediately, strong arm snaking carefully around your waist, pulling himself closer to you, eyes barely open, “Bad dream?”

“No,” you sigh quietly, grabbing onto his hand, tucking it into your chest, “Can’t sleep.”

“Ah,” he nods slowly, kissing lightly behind your ear, “Want me to do the thing?”

“The thing?” you stifle a sleepy giggle

Low humming caresses your skin in response, time stilling for a languid moment, rhythmic rise and fall of his body curled against yours lulling you into security

If he waits until faint tendrils of dawn illuminate your hair—for you to truly, deeply, fall asleep—then he doesn’t mention it

HeLp he’s so precious 😭

Washing hair

Adores preparing baths for you

Bubbles, salts, oils

Tanjirou def goes on weekly excursions to local farmers’ markets or whatnot to stock up on handmade, independently crafted supplies

Remembers allergies, sensitivities, preferences — has yet to buy something that’s irritated you (as in, your body/skin)/that you’ve disliked

Took trial and error for him to master washing your hair, but nowadays you swear he could get a job at a celebrity salon or something

Your hair seems happier being washed by him ??

Shinier, fewer split ends, can go longer between washes

Altho perhaps that’s bc he uses fancy products…

“Smells good,” you smile tiredly, “New shampoo?”

“Not exactly,” he chuckles fondly, “Bought this a few months ago.”

“I love it.”

He loves it too

Loves how you melt under his ministrations, tension in your spine dissipating ever so slightly; the sweet, flickering scent of your contentment mingling with the lingering calmness of the rose tinted bath water

[hapigairu]

And it makes his efforts all the more genuine (not that there was any doubt, but still). It's wild to me that some people try to spin this as Dimitri as doing something bad or utterly insincere...

Exactly! That's precisely why Ingrid is in such a quandary. Her dream is to become a knight, but she also knows she has a duty to her people and that her house needs a way to keep their territories afloat financially. Which... yes, it's unfortunate that Ingrid, as the only Crest-bearer of the family, is expected to marry someone wealthy (especially since Glenn's death is still extremely painful to her). But she's not being forced to do this either by her family. It's not like Bernadetta "My father sees me as a mere asset to marry off so he can get richer" von Varley or Mercedes "My half-brother's father wants me to have his Crest babies without my consent and my adoptive father in the Kingdom basically bought me so he can marry me off and enter noble society" von Martritz. Ingrid is lost between her lifelong dream and her responsibilities, and, admittedly, she feels a bit of pressure, but ultimately, her father will always respect her choice. But, yeah... communicating... It can be complicated.

Yes, we hardly know anything about Adrestian nobility (let alone Leicester nobility...), which is a shame. But you know the saying: out of sight, out of mind lol. Plus, they have government positions in the capital, so maybe they just delegate the management to other members of the House, which could potentially be a somewhat ungrateful position? Or maybe the wife is expected to manage the territory and thus has to do regular trips? ... yeah, I got nothing.

(Oh, just a little thought I had about Miklan the other day: since his mother was from the Empire, would he still have relatives there? If so, how did they react to his mother's death and his downward spiral? Would Miklan have tried to go to them only to run into problems along the way?)

Yeah... Something that bothers me with her mindset (which may be because I'm reading a book on the history of labour in Hawaii and it's really hard to stay calm when you see what was going on. Might do a rant post about this at some point, maybe, anyway) is that she seems to see people as assets whose worth depends on how talented (or rather useful) they can be. And, as Randomnameless said in another post, very few people are going to be coddled like Linhardt was. It's not that difficult to imagine that anyone who'd be struggling either mentally or physically (or both) could end up impoverished and left to rot in the slums because they couldn't git good. Maybe I'm being unfair, but I fail to see anything good coming from her rule.

Yeah, no offence (but kind of actually), but if someone says that a disabled person is just "lazy", then it just shows how privileged they are (regarding their health, at least). It's as bad as saying "have you tried not being depressed/autistic/etc?" lol

And true, in the society she aims to create, you'd have to do your damnedest to stand out from the crowd, otherwise you'd be at the bottom of society and we know how Adrestian nobles/wealthy people see them. It kind of reminds me of the book Chavs: The Demonization of the Working Class by Owen Jones, in which he discusses the way poor people are viewed by the middle class/upper class and how it got this bad.

And, if that's any comfort, I wouldn't fare well in her society either, being neurodivergent and having depression, social anxiety (and maybe PTSD) lol.

And I get that getting rid of the nobility is based, but if it's to end up with basically the same elite (only with a different name), then what's the point? Dimitri might keep the nobility around, but he's also implementing a welfare system and some kind of democracy. And that's... good? I'd rather be a subject of a king but have social protection than not be under a king/queen while having to fight my way to a decent life.

(Also, I might completely be off the mark, but I could see Edel's rule lead to what is called the industrious revolution (a term coined by a Japanese scholar, btw!), that is the transition from a subsistence-based economy to an economy more focused on, uh, trade and profits. This change meant an augmentation of working hours for the peasants (and commoners in general tbh) because now they had to produce so that they could have surplus to sell. That's when mono-culture started to become the norm (which... well, mono-culture bad). Like, I could see Edel's citizens having to prove themselves by working more and producing more for the Empire. And trading diasporas (which played a big role at this time) could be like "we have this super rare crop, how about you grow it and we'll give you a share of the profits?")

Are you afraid of instability post-CF? Fear not, thanks to the Mittelfrank Opera Company, our citizens will be spied on so that any dissenter can be weeded out, thanks to Hubert and Shamir's efforts, any revolt will be severely put down and, of course, censure will protect our beautiful empire from any touchy subject that might anger the mass. How's that freedom from nobility feeling, eh? Seriously though, there's not a shred of doubt that Edel will use force and violence to deal with revolts or riots. And people won't forgive her so easily for invading and annexing their countries, so there's bound to be a lot of fighting.

Yes, as you said before, Dimitri will prioritise lives over "ideals". If your people end up decimated and your lands ruined because you were too forceful in your reforms, then it's not worth it. Dimitri gets that. Felix gets that. Sylvain gets that.

(dunno what you're talking about, I don't need nobody /j) Yeah, and according to the Internet, the term society literally comes from the Latin term societas which derives from socius (comrade, friend, ally). People are supposed to support each other in a society, or a healthy one, that is.

(side note: I've seen some people argue that centralisation and centralised societies are a good thing actually, which... no? I mean, it can be a good thing, I suppose. But there are sooooo many societies that knowingly chose to be a decentralised society. Like some populations in Africa (I'm not sure where anymore, I'll have to check) who saw what nearby centralised society looked like and just noped out of it (and funnily enough, the fact they were a decentralised society protected them from interacting with Europeans for a while, which... good for them) or the people living near Nan Madol who were mistreated by their ruler (and forced to build an artificial island aka Nan Madol) and, at some point, had enough of it and decided to get rid of him and become a decentralised society lol anyway, sorry for that deviation)

In a way, the "parley" scene is a good illustration of hadou (Edel) vs oudou (Dimitri), which was most likely the point. It's also the scene which interpretation varies the most depending on who you root for. Though when its interpretation is in favour of Edel, the rhetoric can quite... yeah. That, or it's Dimitri who blatantly refuses to understand Edel's POV lol.

Well, yeah. And even if Leopold doesn't get to choose his successor (lol), who has been studying everything that this position entails since his childhood? Yes, exactly. Honestly, I agree with everything you said about that.

Imagine being someone who loves to study but because you have a learning disability, you can't pursue your interests because you've been deemed as not deserving enough for that. Like... damn.

Yeah, as long as religion isn't used as a means to oppress people (like it's too often is IRL...), then it's totally fine and you shouldn't be shamed for believing in something. Everyone has their own way of coping with life and (as long as it's not harmful to anybody) they shouldn't be berated or despised because of that.

Oh yes, the poor lad really has low self-esteem... I still think it's better to doubt and ask around than be set in your own ways and refuse to consider other opinions.

Man, I feel so sorry for Sylvain's mother, whatever the route, she's bound to suffer... (same with the Gautier trio, but still lol)

Blue Lions? More like Based Lions. No matter the route, they always feel like people who actually discuss plans, debate, etc. Not Dimitri and his circus of yes men.

Maybe he wouldn't have much to say because "buddy, we're in the middle of a fight, can't this wait?". Seriously though, I could imagine him trying to feign indifference only to (try to) write a letter to his step-mother when he's alone.

It's funny how GW is sometimes considered to be a golden route when... if you think about, it's really not. Edel won't stop her war because the end goal is unification under the Empire's banner. And now, as you said, Leicester can't count on the Kingdom's assistance so it's going to be a three-way war until the bitter end. Not to mention that... Thales is still around? The Agarthans might as well wait until the three factions are done killing each other and then subjugate the surface (and what remains of the people). That said, assuming the Empire wins the war in GW and that Sylvain survives, wouldn't he be held captive in an Adrestian prison?

I imagine that in SB, Dimitri would make a last stand during which he (and possibly Felix and Dedue) would be killed and then she'd force Leicester to submit to the Empire. In the unlikely event that Felix survives, chances are he'd be stripped of his title (because despite him doing a good job, Edel would appoint someone (from the Empire ofc) with more "mehrit" who'd manage Faerghus as a whole, which means they'd have to take over the restoration of Duscur and deal with Sreng and, uh... well, as FantasyInvader mentioned, the Empire engages in military expeditions post-CF so why not in SB as well...).

Sooo... Maybe: AG: the Kingdom, Leicester and the Church win (yay) SB: the Empire wins (oh no) GW: the... Agarthans win? (oh... yikes)

I can see Lambert being like that, but he did launch a military campaign in Sreng, didn't he? Granted, we don't know the exact reasons, IIRC. In any case, it's true that Lambert seemed to want to, uh, speed-run his reforms. Maybe he also wanted to raise more taxes (or like tax the nobles) so have enough funds to implement some sort of social welfare for the commoners? Which the western lords were clearly against? Like Baron Dominic could have been a bit wary of what you said, but the fact the western lords would resort to regicide makes me think that they might have other issues with Lambert.

Oh good! An ending without Rodrigue is too sad to think about lol (which is why I'm willing to suffer the Zahras disaster, Rodrigue is worth the pain). And what's that about Ferdinand dying? I don't remember that at all. Wasn't he...uh... on the run and then taken into custody by the Kingdom army just to be safe or something? Also, do you publish your work on AO3? (Also, I wish I could find the courage to write cause I have so many ideas of... ideas in my head (especially about Morfis, Duscur, some political aspects of Leicester) but my brain blanks everytime I try lol it's a miracle I've managed to write this much these past few days)

True! He's very aggravating in this regard. I promise you Dimitri, getting some rest won't hurt your people. Now, lie down. Good - what's that thing you're hiding? Ah, some more paperwork. Of course. *facepalms*

Yeah, like even if you have a fundamental disagreement, why do you feel like being insulting? Honestly, everything that I've seen from the stans infuriates me. The harassment, the block-evading, the death threats, the generalised lack of respect towards people who don't agree with them,  it's just... wow. I feel genuinely sorry for people who can't enjoy the games because  of these people or are made to feel like trash because they don't want to walk with Edel... It's disgusting and pathetic. (and to anyone who's reading this, I hope you stay safe.) Also here's a meme, because why not:

(and completely agree about Petra. The fact that her situation isn't addressed with the seriousness it deserves is very problematic. As for GW!Petra, she doesn't exist)

You just don't get it. He's using her using him using her usin- uh... At this point, you might as well consider that Clod suffered some brain damage during the timeskip. Or that he was slithered. Whichever works better.

Hahaha, and the Sreng representative (maybe Leif!) would be like "why are you wearing summer jewelry when it's winter? Are you mocking our culture? Are you itching for a fight? ... Nah, I'm just messing with you. Or... am I?" (of course, they'd speak in the language of Sreng)

I'm having a really hard time fathoming how some people consider SB to be a righteous/heroic route or a route where we're the good guys. The route where:

You invade two independent nations under the pretence of "saving their citizens from oppression" (though I guess you can't be oppressed anymore if you're dead lol) even though Her Majestic Hypocrisy repeats a bunch of times that she's in for conquest and that she'd obliterate anyone who stands in her way.

The cast keeps victim-blaming the invaded parties for *checks note* defending their countries. 

The death toll is the highest. You have to kill Ingrid, Rodrigue, Gustave and Sylvain. And you can also kill Ashe, Mercedes (btw, if she dies, the cutscene where Dimitri and Dedue grieve changes slightly, which is nice), Annette, Shamir, Ignatz, Raphael and Marianne (how does Margrave Edmund feel about Claude's alliance with the empire knowing his daughter was killed by its army?). 

IIRC, this is the only route where you conscript merchants into the imperial army. No wonder the empire has the biggest army.

Based Rhea who, despite being hunted, still thinks about the safety of the continent first in the final chapter. It's hilarious how characters like Edespot or Clyde harp on about how Rhea is the big bad, and in the few scenes you have with her, she's just kind? Anyway. Rhea based.

In the C support conversation - which happens right after Felix got seriously injured and Sylvain got killed- there's this bit where Dimitri is like "I don't know if I can talk with like everything is normal, so many have died already" and Edespot's response is basically "yeah I don't see it that way. Let's agree to disagree". Also, I believe she wonders if she shouldn't just kill Clyde and Dimitri once they're out. Even though Clyde is her ally at the moment. You bet on the wrong lord, Clyde... 

I probably forgot a few stuff, but... oh well.

To be honest,

The only things I like about Supreme Bullshit are :

Its ending! Supreme Leader and Barney (well, at least they throw a sword?) being sitting ducks while Rhea steals the show, and sacrifices herself in an epic shonen scene to get rid of the real threat, aka showing that unlike someone, she knows how to prioritize, and it ends up in an explosion. It matches the ending of the F-Zero anime (at 0.48!), Rhea/Falcon rushes to deal a blow (a Falcon punch and a Seiros strike I guess?) to their mortal enemy, there is a giant explosion, and both Rhea/Falcon fade away in a blinding light. Too bad the Supreme Bullshit BGM is eons away from "Searching to the Truth" :(

The reveal that Rhea kept the keys to the sekrit passages in the Imperial Palace - or Rhea knows more about Enbarr and its castle than the current Emperor and her aides...

Doro's paralogue being incredibly tone deaf about, uh, soldiers being "too busy" by the Mittelfrank troupe, that they can't basically protect the dancers/performers from bandits, when the paralogue happens in an area that is expressedly supposed to be full of soldiers!

If starts align in a certain way, it's the only route in Nopes where Clout dies!

Leopold! He's like Victarion Greyjoy, only if he was taken seriously. But we, as players, know better! Also he's a living retcon, from having a major cichol crest to gift to his son because he fought well (and not to, say, Big B or even Ferdie) a sacred weapon despite the route being all about muhritocracy!

Supreme Leader plans and plays with the cards she has in her hand - from trying to get good PR to get rid of people (Varley sr) by pitting them against her next target (the CoS)!

An entire game full of new Supreme Replies (tm)!

For shippers around, it has a Cathmir scene where everyone knows Shamir will prioritize Catherine's life over her allegeance! too bad this is a Supreme Leader route, so no, Shamir won't fucking try to kill her for blackmailing her and can even kill Catherine herself later on....

That's not a lot lol, and most of it are breadcrumbs because for the proper plot...

Yeah, it kinds of sucks.

Supreme Bullshit is even more tone deaf with the War and its realities than Tru Piss (and that's a feat!), Ferdie being completely, uh, off the mark about everything (invading lands and rekting people, and then saying those people's fears are only in their heads! Pal, one of the first missions in the SB exclusive chapters is to rout refugees??? + the nonsense about the Kingdom having more crested generals, when data shows the Empire has more crested peeps than the Kingdom!), Caspar being turned in the worst version of himself who dgaf anymore about protecting "innocents" and "justice", and, uh, everything with Monica.

Victim blaming is the norm with Fodlan games, but yeah, it really feels odd that suddenly, in the Zahras chapters, Dimitri's all "okay" when his closest friends either died or were grievly injured and the game proceeds as it does when, come on, why wouldn't Dimitri kill her the second they're out of the Zahras verse??

I really disliked how Supreme Bullshit yeeted Ionius from Adrestia, or how it didn't explore in more depth the Insurrection of the Seven, especially since we side with Leopold'n'Waldemar against Ludwig, who used to be allies! Also, as far as I remember, no one mentions anything about Arundel, why he ran away to the Kingdom with a young Supreme Leader and how he changed when he returned, or something?

If Ludwig is pushed by Supreme Leader, reciting her Dad's words, as the one who led the insurrection and the experiments on her, why the fuck no one else mentions them, as Leopold and Waldemar were on Aegir's side back then? They don't even mention "Arundel" participating, like, Volkhard sides against Ionius and hides his niece, but 3 months later, he returns and offers her as a guinea pig?

As is the norm with the Supreme Leader routes, the "truth" isn't what we're looking for, because we know Supreme Leader pushes a narrative she will follow to reach her goals, but where Tru Piss gave hints here and there about her narrative being, uh, rubish, we have no clues here, and Leopold prefers to flash his loincloth than giving us anything meaningful about that incident.

When you compare them to Matthias and Rodrigue (and Gilbert?) who often mention Lambert "back in the days", it's more and more obvious that... we're not supposed to ask questions in Supreme Bullshit, and just go with the flow.

And it ends with a high five.

I'd say it deviates less from Tru Piss than Golden Shower does from Verdant Winds, but it's an "expected disappointment".

That's why my only higlights are not plot relevant (save for the Captain Falcon - Rhea parallel) - because we know the plot will never deliver something meaningful in a Supreme Leader route.

[latuuart]

okay, this is a uncomfortable question so you can feel free to jot answer, but do you think that maybe endv 'forced' I don't want to use the other word rei to give birth to natsuo or shouto? because I think that the story implies this a lot with the flashbacks in the hospital, more with shouto birth than natsuo but since we don't see rei interacting a lot with natsuo when he was a kid, and is common for women that were 'forced' to have kids to don't feel comfortable around them, I think that maybe this could be the case, idk thinking about this just makes rei situation in the family even more heartbreaking

Hi, Anon. Thank you for giving me a chance to talk about this topic. Yes, this is gonna be a bit uncomfortable to talk about, I’ll just try to explain this the best I can. The rest is under a cut for the length and cw.

CW implication of marital rape

First of all, let me remind us all that it was never a marriage out of love. It was a mere quirk marriage, no more no less. Enji pursued Himura’s daughter for her quirk. That’s all. He wanted her quirk, and we all know the reason behind that is because he wanted to create custom children who will surpass All Might. That’s the whole purpose of their marriage. And Rei knew, more than anyone, it was her sole role in that marriage: to give this man a child who will be able to surpass All Might. It was a duty of her. That is very sad (okay I’m about to cry as writing this).

So, was it a forced marriage? It’s complicated. It’s not like Enji forced Himura family to give their daughter to him by strength, but we knew from Touya’s dialogue later that there was, high likely, money (beside social status of course) playing behind it. Something like that is a common occurance in a marriage where one of the party has so much higher status than the other party. Gathering information from everyone’s dialogue, we can conclude that: Himura family was on the edge of their glory, they needed money and for their family’s status to rise again, then they had this number two hero came and pursued their daughter, would be a stupid person to reject this opportune offer so if we imagine what their family would think at that time.

How about Rei’s feeling on the marriage? It was never about herself nor for herself. It was for her family’s sake as she said, a choice made on her own as she claimed, but also with limited options. I think we all understand what situation she was in. It was a situation where you just couldn’t help but to be resigned to it. And Rei made it so positive; “I had hoped, if nothing else, that I would keep smiling...” A pure and naturally kind woman.

Even without love, it wasn’t an abusive marriage at start. There were times where Enji and Rei had decent interactions. But, it still wasn’t a healthy marriage since the start, because they married for this taboo (also highly risky and dangerous for the child’s health) goal: creating a child who will be able to surpass All Might (Enji’s idea).

Touya and Fuyumi, we could say they were born from both the parents’ agreement. But, for Natsuo and Shouto, they were not same cases. As this picture below shows, Rei was actually showing disagreement towards Enji’s idea to have more children after Fuyumi.

Because Rei knew; the only reason for that was to show Touya that he couldn’t surpass All Might. It was very cruel to break his heart that way. Then, what happened? Did he “force” (yes, same with you, I prefer to just use this word either) her?

I don’t know. And I think we don’t know, too, because there was no continuation after that conversation that could give us enlightment and clarity whether then Enji forced her to do “that” or not. But, we know for sure this is Rei’s last expression towards Enji’s persistency to have more kids.

And sure this isn’t an expression of consent. And I actually doubt Hori would be allowed to give more clarity about “that matter” than what he has given us in a PG-13 shonen manga. So, I think all those implications should be enough to tell us that Rei didn’t consent to Natsuo’s and Shouto’s birth. That is the purpose of that page after all, to tell us that:

It was Enji’s idea to create more children because he thought that way he could make Touya give up on trying to surpass All Might (while actually, deeply, Touya just wanted to please him and to have his own father “see” him again, so that he could acknowledge him and have moments with him again, and didn’t neglect him anymore, and so that Touya could have a reason to exist—so he thought—back) and Enji needed a child who will be able to surpass All Might nonetheless.

Rei didn’t agree with Enji’s idea at all.

The next page we still have Rei holding a new baby, Natsuo. So, it tells us that whether Rei agreed or not, it didn’t matter. Anything Enji desired would still happen nonetheless.

In addition, Rei’s expression after having Natsuo, she didn’t look quite as happy as before. Even though it’s not like she had a happy, dreams-come-true marriage since the beginning, but, at that time, she looked particularly tired. I doubt it was just because Hori wanted to show us that the process of giving birth is exhausting and life-threatening, which it is, but I’m sure there was another reason Hori decided to show Rei that way, because aside from tired, she also looked so resigned, and her gaze started to feel empty. I think of course she was happy with her newborn (with Natsuo, I’m sure she loves him), because it wasn’t about the child but more of about the process, the reason behind having the child.

And after Shouto’s birth, it was even clearer that she looked really, really exhausted, but also so relieved, as it finally would stop, because I doubt Enji would stop if Shouto were to born “not perfect”.

I will just leave it this way. I’ll let everyone have their own conclusion after reading what I’ve written in this meta, because I’m sure this is such a complicated situation to talk about. And it’s not like this is a completely rare situation to find. I think once in our life we’ve encountered a woman in Rei’s type of marriage, and it’s hard to say they were “forced” if the women themselves think “they are okay with it”, right? —would be the most common argument. I’ll just say, your assumption towards this matter, I’m on the same page with you, Anon. I honestly do feel the same way.

But, let me just correct this one thing: I don’t think Rei was uncomfortable with Natsuo regardless of anything happening behind his birth, at least at the beginning. I think Rei was interacting enough with Natsuo, as much as her interacting with Fuyumi and as best as a mother with four children to take care at the same time could. Actually, it was shown whenever Rei went, Fuyumi and Natsuo were following her like little ducks XD It was really cute!

However, when Natsuo growing up (before Rei was sent to the hospital), Rei indeed started to feel fear towards him. But, it was because of some physical similarities between him and Enji. Although the fear could also be more than just about having similar appearance with Enji (it could also because of seeing Enji’s appearance inducing unpleasant memories on her, as being reminded of him, she could also be reminded of his “actions” towards her), I think, as Hori has explained before (even though the timeline was kinda wrong since Enji had already gotten worse even before Touya’s “death”), it was more because of Enji’s worsened behavior rather than anything that happening behind Natsuo‘s birth (even though there was still a room for accumulated trauma to have a role there!).