#but it's kind of accurate in that regard so at least there's that
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joltai-showa · 3 days ago
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The entire post is getting kinda long, so I am gonna start using breakline
Whenever I come across anything Ikemoto produced, I get a very strong feeling that this guy desperately wants to do a spin-off series for JJBA, not Naruto: weird poses, bizarre clothing choices, etc etc. Only this man manages to forget that he is still doing a sequel to Naruto, so all of his artisric choices end up clashing with an already established setting and style + let's be honest this man has none of Araki's creativity and skill, so we end up with pure dogshit that belongs neither to Naruto nor to JJBA.
Sarada kind of encapsulates everything wrong with Ikemoto's design choices. I've actually come across a video discussing Boruto's clothing and there was a heated debate regarding whether clothing in Naruto was period accurate (Boruto fans were declaring that there is nothing weird about modern day clothing in Boruto, after all, Naruto wasn't keeping up with it in the first place). But the actual problem is the fact that Boruto's designs have none of the defining feature of Naruto's clothing - its utilitarianism. People in Naruto wear comfortable shit, they wear things in which they can fight, ranged fighters and assassins can show more skin, while close quarter fighters wear vests and other protective measures. Meanwhile Boruto characters have so much useless shit on their persons one might think they are on their way to a nightclub where a fashion party is taking place. Seriously, it's fucking ridiculous, me and my friends compared Kishimoto's and Ikemoto's designs for, I believe, Sakura and Sarada, and I shit you not Ikemoto's have like twice the items of clothing compared to Kishi's.
And I also believe that bizarrely revealing attires for young girls might also be something Ikemoto picks up from JJBA, however in Araki's case a 15 year old looks like a 25 year old + the characters act and look older than they are due to a pretty rigorous timeline that JJBA has and tries to stay true. Ikemoto, on the other hand, has this weird Bratz (is that the name of those dolls? no idea) like style that makes all of his characters look like 8 year olds which only exacerbates the issue.
I'm not gonna comment on any of Boruto's... "twists". Seriously, I like to keep myself away from that thing, I have no idea how Boruto fans manage to unironically say "BROOOO NOOOO IT'S GETTING SO GOOD, JUST GET THROUGH LIKE 80 CHAPTERS, THE FINAL TWIST IN PART ONE IS HYPE🥶🥶🥶🥶" and you look up and it's the single worst piece of shit you've ever had the misfortune to read.
Thanks for your compliments. Deidara has a lot of tiny things scattered around the canon material + for a secondary antagonist he got pretty lucky with the time the plot dedicates to him (which is, well, unsurprising, considering he's been the most popular Akatsuki member that doesn't have "Uchiha" in his name since his appearance at the beginning of Shippuden, so Kishi and Jump have to take that sweet sweet merch money), so a lot of pretty interesting thing about his past can be unearthed. And I don't think that's really strange that Hidan and Deidara, being children of the Third Shinobi World War, have similarities in their past. For all of its flashiness, Naruto does try (at least at certain points) to be an anti-war story, and unsurprisingly that many characters born during these large scale conflicts would share certain experiences regarding the horrors and losses they have suffered when they were young and most vulnarable.
I've seen a comment from @hidansbabygirl regarding timeline stuff, so decided to share some things that I have regarding Hidan and what is known of him on the timeline of the events in Naruto
However, the start of Hidan's life corresponds with some pretty major things going on in the shinobi world, so we actually need to start elsewhere to establish some important facts regarding that, so, with that said, let's take a look at...
Kannabi bridge mission.
Surprising, I know. But Kannabi is very important for establishing when did the Third Shinobi World War ended and, presumably, started. It'll be obvious why this is important a bit later, so let's get into it.
It's actually pretty easy to ascertain the end of the TSWW thanks to the greatest guy to ever greatest guy in history - Obito. Obito is 30 during the events of Shippuden (I believe that the wiki and, likely, the databooks say that he's 31, however having kids in Kakashi's generation have different ages is way too annoying to keep track of + Obito by himself has a lot of events that involve literal fucking timetraveling, so for the sake of my sanity, everyone in Kakashi's generation is 30 during Shippuden). Obito is 13 during the events of Kannabi bridge (as stated in his profile in second databook, I believe?), so we know that between his untimely demise and miraculous ressurection 17 years have passed.
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and here's the finale of Kakashi Gaiden. the wording of this page pretty heavily implies that following the destruction of Kannabi bridge, the TSWW ended (considering how many events unrelated to it are going to follow in literally the next year alone, it better fucking did, otherwise Kishimoto is incredibly bad with numbers). So, we know for certain that the end of that particular war was 17 years before the events of Shippuden.
Now let's remember another major date that pops up here and there during Kakashi Gaiden - the failure and subsequent suicide of Kakashi's father, Hatake Sakumo, which took place 5 years before Kannabi. To recap - some sort of important mission, goal vs comrades, Sakumo chooses comrades, mission ends in a failure, everyone hates Sakumo, including the very same comrades, Sakumo kills himself. Now here's the thing - even if Sakumo was compared to Sannins, we know pretty much jackshit about when and where he did missions. We've obviously heard about this mission, and there is also a very interesting fact about him killing parents of another Akatsuki-member-to-be - Sasori. However, Sasori was a very young child when it happened (off Chiyo's memories), and Sasori himself fought and ditched Suna during TSWW, so Sakumo fighting against Suna would have taken place in the previous World War, which is the Second.
Anyway, what I am trying to say is - we know nothing of Sakumo's involvement in the TSWW, meaning that he became a legendary and respected figure before it. And we certainly know that there was some mission, he put his comrades' lives over the mission, mission failed, and everyone hated him. And doesn't that seem like a bit of a... overreaction? Considering that during the plot we see quite a few missions being failed and yet it doesn't lead to shinobi in charge of them to becoming pariahs and ending their lives. Unless, of course... the failure of that particular mission had some absolutely catastrophic consequences.
Here's the part that was purely theorized, however I love this theory a lot and I believe that it actually does an amazing job at explaining the events, so here it goes - Hatake Sakumo's mission that took place 5 years before the events of Kannabi bridge mission was the spark that set off the Third Shinobi World War.
And suddenly the way everyone acts makes a lot of sense. Sakumo chose to save his comrades and know all of them watch as their village and country submerges itself into another worldwide meatgrinder? Yeah, no fucking wonder they started hating him, they are also kind of responsible for shit going down. The village despised him? Yeah, alright, everyone now must prepare for another war with like 3 different Greater Nations and think of how their friends and relatives are going to die, of course they can't stand his guts. Sakumo watches his homeland being engulfed into the fires of war caused by his one decision that went against the rules of shinobi? Oh yeah, no wonder he takes his life, no one's honor ever recovers from setting off a literal World War. Young Kakashi wants nothing to do with his father's name and values, even of it's his only (once upon a time) living relative? I mean, your dad's the reason all the adults in the village are getting their mandatory wartime flashbacks to shit thay experienced back during the Second Shinobi World War and you and your classmates instead of having to catch cats somewhere in the village now have to catch boulders with their faces somewhere on the border between Land of Earth and Land of Grass, of course you're not gonna follow his steps in any capacity.
Anyway, you get the idea. Now that I've explained why I believe the beginning of TSWW is assossiated with Hatake Sakumo, we can see that the war lasted for about 5 years, which is pretty reasonable time for at least two generations to get completely fucked over, so this theory passes a sanity check. Thus, we can presume that TSWW started 22 years before the events of Shippuden.
And, as I am sure you are aware, 22 is a magical number for this post, because Hidan is exactly 22 years old in Shippuden
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(while searching for info for this post, I've found the English translation of the databook, so here's a bit of it with the main stuff for Hidan)
Now, all of my previous yapping about the dates creates a pretty interesting picture: Akatsuki members can be separated into three clusters (Zetsu and Orochimaru don't count, didn't care + didn't ask + L bozo + asspull plot twists): grandpa Kakuzu as the outlier that literally predates the shinobi village system, the majority of Akatsuki aged 30-40 aka kids born during the Second Shinobi World War and later fucked up by the Third Shinobi World War, and the three kids of the Third Shinobi World War aka Hidan (22), Itachi (21) and Deidara (19). Who are. You know. Even if they never fought in that war, they are still clearly not okay.
So yeah, one certain thing: Hidan would have been born around the same time as the TSWW was beginning, and, considering that it lasted 5 years, he should, theoretically, be able to remember its last years (the ones that involved sending 13 year olds on the enemy territory on Konoha's side of the conflict, wonderful stuff).
Now we'll be switching to geography because, I mean, how bad could it be for wherever Hidan was born? The answer is - likely pretty fucking bad.
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Here's another tidbit from the databook confirming that Hidan was born in Yugakure (the reason why I specifically checked for it was that I was unsure if he simply got his shinobi education(?) in Yugakure or he was actually born there, the first scenario makes things kind of more ambigious; and it is possible, Kushina is an example of someone born in Uzushio and trained in Konoha). Now let's look at the map and see where Yugakure is...
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Goddamit it's right in between Land of Fire and Land of Lightining. Literally like the fastest way for either country's army to pass through to fuck up each other. Possibly for Blood Mist too, if they ever got the brightest idea to go fuck up Kumogakure via a land path.
And yes there's no doubt that Konoha and Kumo were fighting in that war (chapter 542)
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Ay, Bee and Minato can only be young adults for TSWW + Minato explicitly states that neither Ay nor he are Kage yet, Minato becomes one after the end of the war, while Ay does after his father dies fighting a giant army (figure which village is geographically close to Kumo to pull this) for three days straight. All in all, Kumo and Konoha undoubtedly were against each other during the time Hidan would be learning how to talk and walk, so Yugakure would be stuck between the rock and the hard place.
Which, off the example of Amegakure (granted these poor fuckers are stuck between THREE Greater Nations, and whenever there's a big conflict going on Suna, Iwa and Konoha like to throw the title of "the biggest civilian casualties inflicter" between each other like it's hot potato, but nonetheless) being a small village in this position sucks major ass. Hidan would have been watching his home getting rolled over by Kumo and Konoha repeatedly all childhood, and I think it's pretty safe to say that it's heavily affected him and his hightened interest in all things violent.
And off the paragraph above, we see that Yugakure turned into a resort village after the war ended (this couldn't have happened before or during it, otherwise it raises a question of how the hell Hidan is a shinobi).
(And I love the phrase "all major wars disappeared from the world" - my brother in christ it's been literally just 17 years and everyone's at each others throats again, why is Kishimoto trying to desperately gaslight his readers into believing that it was all bad before but now everyone's in an era of peace, the world is literally in another mid-war period and the world is aware of what these times look like (already happened 2 times))
Ahem. Sorry for going off topic. Now, whether Yugakure stopped being a military center on its own volition due to economic reasons or someone pressured them into demilitarising (once again, there's a pretty big border between the Land of Hot Springs and Land of Fire, and Konoha's got this dude named Danzo who likes having his nose into bordering countries' business, hi again, Ame, and is the literal embodiment of paranoia, considering all of that, such a scenario is possible), the result is the same - Yugakure is now a peaceful village, Hidan is its shinobi who is likely traumatised from the events in TSWW, so he craves some pretty extreme forms of violence. It's kind of obvious why he got tangled with the cult of Jashin.
And then there's... nothing. Literally a blank period. There's no info on Hidan's education as the shinobi (the databook has ??? for this info), Yugakure has no ninja registration system unlike the major hidden villages, so nothing can be inferred off of that, there's some stuff said about cult of Jashin and Hidan being the first successfull immortality experiment, but there are no events corresponding to any of this in the manga or the databooks, so alas, we have no clues what was going on with him before his recruitment into Akatsuki, so let's go into this
Thankfully, there's a bit more on that. Hidan during the six day (jesus christ I really hope Pain, Konan and Obito are paying these guys for the overtime, wtf is that, being stuck with your coworkers for 144 hours) zoom call when they were sealing Isobu and Matatabi argues with Pain and says the following
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(chapter 329)
(and yes if you are wondering "hey weren't Hidan and Kakuzu dead by the time Obito and Deidara caught Isobu?", this is one of the prime examples why I don't care for anything stated in the anime, because this is one of the things changed from the original: Isobu is shown to be caught before, I believe, Hidan and Kakuzu even make an appearance, the canon scene for Isobu capture starts with Isobu watching who the fuck woke him up, while Obito and Deidara are yapping as usual before Obito is off to get bullied by this one big turtle for the third fucking time in his life)
Obviously, we know that Tobi joined Akatsuki officially after Sasori's death, during Shippuden events, so Hidan's recruitment would be somewhere before that and literally everyone else in the organization. Konan, Zetsu, Pain were there from the start after Obito took over, Itachi joined 8 years ago (after the Uchiha massacre), I've explained why I believe Deidara was taken 7 years before Shippuden, but obviously it can be anywhere between 7 to 4 years, Kisame would have to be somewhere before Deidara, Sasori would have to be before Itachi (because he was Orochimaru's partner before Itachi came about), Kakuzu could have happened literally at any point after the takeover but before Hidan's joining. So, not much is conclusive here, except that at earliest it would have taken like 7 years before Shippuden.
HOWEVER! There's one scene that actually allows us to establish that Hidan would have been recruited during the timeskip between OG Naruto and Shippuden! And it's everyone's favorite "why the fuck is Deidara upside down on the ceiling" scene
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First important thing about Akatsuki: Hidan's figure is very obvious, even during the zoom meetings, considering that he is oftentimes drawn with his scythe. As we can see, no scythe in sight.
But that's not the weirdest thing in this picture. I, as a very sane person, have Akatsuki members' heights saved up (rounded up mathematically), so let's take a look at them:
Kisame 195
Kakuzu 185
Obito 182
Itachi 178
Zetsu 177
Hidan 177
Pain 177
Nagato 176
Konan 169
Deidara 166
Sasori 164
Now, after seeing this data, do you see anything conflicting with it on the picture above?
...
...
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Who the fuck is this guy? The guy who is TOWERING above Kisame, literally the tallest known member?
My sanity says that the obvious answer is Kishimoto didn't plan shit, the designs for Akatsuki members weren't finished by that point, so we get this weird shit in the chapters before Akatsuki got revealed. Unfortunately, my sanity does not work as an in-universe argument, so the alternative is that this is actually Kakuzu's partner before Hidan (one of the guys that got killed by him), which creates the following chain of events: Akatsuki have this meeting 3 years before Shippuden, Kakuzu kills this 2.5 meter tall dude, and then the HR department aka Pain, Konan and Obito find this one undying cultist and pair them up because goddammit Kakuzu we don't have time for this bullshit, we need to tailedbeastmaxx.
So, as a result, Hidan joined Akatsuki anywhere from 19 to 22 (and I don't remove 22 from the boundary unlike I did with Deidara because Hidan not knowing wtf Akatsuki's goal is in this particular meeting is pretty wild, considering that Isobu and Matatabi are the fourth and fifth Tailed Beast that they are sealing by this point - Deidara said during the Kazekage Rescue arc that before Gaara they already got two jinchuiki, so 2 + Shukaku = 3 before that meeting - and zero times did Hidan think about asking "hey Leader what the fuck are we cooking here")
And I think that's about all I've got in regards to timeline stuff for Hidan. 0-5 - watches the carnage of the Third Shinobi World War, the next like 15 years are in the fog of war, so we only know that he's got his shinobi education, got pissed at the village, joined a cult, obtained immortality, and then from 19 to 22 he is recruited into Akatsuki.
thanks for joining my Tobitalk for today
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crowleyaj · 4 months ago
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watching messiah on netflix. the description says it's about a man people call the messiah and follow out of damascus into the desert which catches the attention of the cia, and I was like, hmm, let's try it. but no it turns out the story is that he's actually jesus and he's returned to palestine and now there's another intifada!! it's very very interesting and I can't believe no one is talking about this show
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loveinhawkins · 8 months ago
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picturing Dustin watching at the trailer park, right after Eddie says, “Hey, Steve? Make him pay.”
And for some reason Dustin’s reminded of ‘84, of his conversation with Steve on the railroad tracks, it’s like before it’s gonna storm, you know? You can’t see it, but you can feel it, like this, uh... electricity, you know?—although he’s grown enough to suspect that Steve might not know everything in that regard.
And it’s not electricity he senses, not exactly, but it’s definitely a storm of some kind: something fragile. Something—someone—that’s very scared.
Dustin’s running before he’s even registered his decision. “Steve!”
Steve turns around, and he already looks like he’s about to ask a question—something practical, like whether Dustin’s forgotten something—and Dustin feels a twist of regret, that that’s where Steve’s mind goes; yeah, they’re all ready for battle, so it makes sense, but…
Feeling suddenly very young, Dustin barrels into Steve and hugs him.
He hears Steve’s surprised inhale, his hesitancy, before he returns the hug in full force.
For a little while, it’s like the world narrows down to only this. No ash in the air, no nightmarish red in the sky. Just the two of them.
Dustin’s about to pull away when he feels Steve’s chin dig into the top of his head. Hears him sniff, very quietly, like he’s trying to hide it; and that makes Dustin think of the tunnels, or afterwards, really, when Steve held onto him with shaking hands, kept saying, “We’re okay, we’re okay.”
So he just keeps hugging back.
Steve’s the one to let go; he’s smiling, but he looks a little sad too, forehead creased with worry.
“I need a ride tomorrow,” Dustin says.
Steve huffs. “Oh, yeah? Where to?”
Dustin taps his nose obnoxiously. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
It’s bullshit, of course; Dustin doesn’t need a ride anywhere.
Steve rolls his eyes, but some tightness in his jaw finally eases. “God, you’re such a dick.”
“Bright and early, Steve!” Dustin adds smugly. “Five am!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Steve says, waving him off, and for a moment it’s like they’re just in the school parking lot. He looks as if he’s about to say something else, then thinks better of it—glances back to where Robin and Nancy are waiting. He pulls Dustin in with one arm, a brief but tight hold. Nods, as if to himself. “Go on, scram.”
Dustin runs back to the trailer with a stitch in his side but a smile on his face. He knows it’s naive to think he can fix everything, but in this moment at least some part of the universe has been righted, even while in The Upside Down.
Eddie’s standing right where he left him, like he’s been frozen the whole time.
“Hey,” he says quietly. “is he, uh… is he okay?”
Dustin’s reminded that of course, Steve isn’t the only one who’s scared.
“Yeah, he will be,” he says, which he thinks is a more accurate answer than a simple yes or no.
It’s funny how life works, he muses while gathering supplies for the trailer defences. There’s no way he’d have thought even a week ago that Eddie would be sincerely asking him about Steve’s well-being. Whenever he happened to bring Steve up at Hellfire, Eddie would imitate him in a comedic falsetto, “Oh, Steve this, Steve that.”
For a minute, Eddie remains rooted to the spot, still staring in the direction of where Steve went—like he’d watched helplessly as Steve walked into the eye of a storm or something.
“You just gonna stand there and gawk?” Dustin says.
Eddie snorts. “So rude, Henderson.”
And it’s not like Dustin really knows, not when Steve and Eddie are still barely dancing around it themselves. Still, he can pick up on some things.
Like when they’ve finished setting up everything, waiting for the go-ahead for Eddie to start playing his guitar—to pass the time, they recount the high points of the day, keep it light. It’s a practice Eddie used to implement after campaigns.
And look, Dustin’s damn good at picking up on patterns. Like, he loves Steve, but he’s pretty sure the reality of him driving the hotwired RV doesn’t quite match up to how Eddie’s currently waxing lyrical about it.
He’s making it sound like it was something outta James Bond, Dustin thinks, when he’s sure Steve drove right into several trash cans.
Suddenly he knows exactly what he should do.
“Steve this, Steve that,” he sing-songs.
Eddie flushes; Dustin cackles.
“Fuck off,” Eddie says, but he’s smiling as Dustin keeps laughing, like he knows there’s nothing mean-spirited in it. He keeps going, Steve this, Steve that, talking right over Dustin’s teasing—somehow finding even more moments where Steve truly shines.
And Dustin doesn’t know everything, not even close, but at the very least, he knows that this feels right.
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midascrow · 9 months ago
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Lucifer x GN!Reader
A Fan of the Devil?
———————//————
synopsis: Charlie’s father is introduced to the hotels “Gardener”, and comes to find out that they’re a fallen soul from above. He’s also surprised to learn that they’re a fan of his.
warnings: religious pressure(?)
an: Part 1? If this is well received ofc. This is told from Lucifer’s perspective and therefore his view and inner thoughts regarding what’s going on around him. I also threw in the idea that he’s bad with names cuz that feels very accurate to me lol
—————————————————————-
He hadn’t expected his daughter’s friends to be so….eccentric, upon meeting them. Of course he knew Charlie’s heart bled gold for any sinner around, but he thought-, more so he hoped that she would keep somewhat better company.
Especially in the revelation of this “RaDiO DEmOn”.
Baggie- Mag- Vaggie, was alright he supposed. She loves his daughter, perhaps just as much as he does,that much he was sure. And while he was a bit disheartened by having not known of their relationship prior, he was still content and moved by the way the two leaned towards each others embrace as they spoke.
His heart ached. Just a bit.
“Are they up in their room again?”
“I think they’re in the Garden again, hon.”
Garden? The hotel had a garden?
“Oh! Oh maybe we could-“
“I don’t know…you know how they can be about us going in there..”
“Pshhhh! I’m sure it’ll be fine Vaggie! Plus remember how they always talked about meeting him??”
Meeting who? Who’s meeting who??
Was there some kind of owl in here?
“Dad!”
“Ah!”
Charlie blinked down at her father in an awkward beam, watching his red eyes dart around nervously, for a moment or two. “Who?!-“ His throat dried and swelled in embarrassment, cracking his voice as he fixed his pride with a dust off his hat. “Uhm…Yes? Char?” Nailed it. Totally. Very cool and suave of you big boss.
His daughter smiled, a crease in her brow before she clasped his arm and tugged him forward, away from the peering eyes of the others and down a long corridor. “There’s someone- Well-there’s someone who’s been dying to meet you! Yknow ever since they arrived here it’s just be non stop-“
Someone wanted to meet him? Why??
Surely they were a weirdo.
His grimace must’ve given him away, because Vaggie, who he hadnt noticed following them till the moment of, gave a small hum, to cut through her girlfriends words.
“They were a bit of a fanatic on earth apparently.”
He dead panned.
“A cultist.”
“No.”
“A satanist?”
“That’s not even what satanists do!”
“…..”
“….A banker-“
“Just-!….Wait and you’ll see.”
He fell silent at that, a frown pulled onto his pale lips as his feet dragged him towards wherever they were headed.
He was a bit stumped when they came upon two large doors, both decorated in shimmering glass mozaics, depicting two dividing scenes. An Angel; hands carefully cupped around a beautifully red apple, kneeled down towards the other mural, was depicted on the right. And on the Left, in the same position, with the same red apple, a demon.
He shifted uncomfortably.
“Wow Honey! I uh- Didn’t know this door even existed! It’s very cool, yes yes very cool- now let’s head back to the-!” He called nervously, a half witted laugh leaving his sharp tooth smile as Charlie nodded vigorously, shiney eyes aglow as she took hold of the golden handles of the ornate doors, pulling them open with a mighty huff as a golden light spilled from inside.
It was startling to say the least, fact proven by how Lucifer felt his wings practically shoot from his back in defense, feathers cascading down in time with the petals and leaves that followed an imaginary breeze through the threshold.
His ears strained to hear the quiet sound of rushing water and leaves shaking, birds chirping and insects buzzing quietly somewhere in the back.
His skin warmed. Not in the way it naturally did from hells weather, but as if the sun was beaming down on his skin for the first time in eons. Of course, he knew it was fake. But it was so close.
“Oh- shit! Charlie!” A voice barked beyond the golden glow of the garden, a figure stepping out from the shadows of a large bush, covered in leaves and flowers as they stumbled clumsily through, racing towards the door and slamming it shut, completely ignorant to the king beside their hip, who’s gaze pierced them in silent wonder.
He hadn’t felt that in a while.
“What did I tell you about coming in unannounced! You could throw off the entire ecosystem! The slightest temperature shift might make one of the flowers wilt or one of the fruits shrivel! At least warn me before-“
“Ahem.”
The sinner paused, shoulders jumping stiffly as they froze, finger pointed towards Charlie rudely from their rant before their gaze shifted to the side.
He heard the way their breath hitched, and his chest puffed slightly in pride, wings fluttering just slightly.
“Hello there.” He was being cheeky, he knew that, though his smile felt a tad too genuine, caused by the sheer awe that glimmered across the sinners face at the sight of him. “Lucifer Morningstar, I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of meeting yet.”
He couldn’t find it in himself to dislike that look. He was the avatar of pride after all.
And a small part of him took a rather large enjoyment in the stuttering and stumbling of the sinner before him.
“Y-Your highness! Oh my gosh-“ He grinned “I wasn’t expecting your company- I would’ve dressed more- well I-“ Vaggie coughed from the side, redirecting their attention as they picked the stray foliage form their hair and clothes in a frenzy, towards the garden around them.
With a startled gasp they quickly stepped to the side, nearly tumbling in their haste as they held their arm out, presenting the garden to the king. “It’s..it’s an honor to meet you Sir.” Your voice was steadier, but still thick with anxiety that stuck like molasses to your tongue.
He watched your hand tremble, just slightly. Like his.
His wings fluttered again. A warm feeling bursting through his chest and into his eyes, giving them that shine that reflected the faux golden glow of the sun in the large green room. “The pleasures all mine, My dear. Do you mind explaining what it is you have-.…here”
His smile faltered, gaze stuck on the tree that stood tall and proud in the center of the spacious garden. Its leaves and branches stretched far, each adorned by beautiful red..apples, that hung and shimmered in the light. He expected the familiar ache of guilt to swarm his heart, but was surprised when he found himself breathless instead.
“I hope it’s..somewhat accurate. I’ve only seen recreations of course, never the real thing..” Your voice was a bit muffled in his mind.
He felt you step cautiously beside him, as he continued to gaze reverently at the scene before him. Shadows and memories danced past his eyes and through the patches of sun that decorated the floor. He swore he could hear quiet calls and whispers mix with the rustling leaves.
“You made this?” It wasn’t really a question.
Plants weren’t common in hell. Especially none such as this. They simply couldn’t grow in the rotted soil that spread across his kingdom. And there was simply no pure water to be found that could sustain them. So how-
“I might’ve take a few things before I fell.” You laughed shyly, cheeks warmed under the sun and the intense gaze of the King that snapped towards you.
Lucifer finally got a proper look at you. At your eyes and your features. Your afflictions. There was no denying you were a human soul. It was clear as day and still beat deep in your being. But..
“You were in heaven?” He gasped, eyes wide, mouth agape as he turned fully towards you, the grip on his cane tight as he scanned over the few demonic markings that lined your body, and the big golden X that flashed across your entire being. For only his eyes to see.
A virtuous soul cast out? Was that even possible? To turn away a true, virtuous soul, one of the few who had made it into heavens gate from their life on earth-
“It’s safe to say I didn’t truly agree with heavens teachings. It was too…polished.” There was an easy going smile that matched your tone, as you let your eyes wander towards the tree that wisely outshined every other plant in the garden. You continued.
“Heaven wasn’t my first choice. Frankly I didnt believe in it to begin with. But my folks were..somewhat of zealots. They wanted the best for me, I know that. But I missed…” You paused, seemingly thoughtful as Lucifer watched you with rapt attention, you both becoming ignorant to the two lovers that slipped out.
Charlie smiled softly to herself. Her dad needed this.
“I missed the free will that their religion took away from me.” Your gaze was knowing, almost wise like the tree when it peered back into his own, and Lucifer swore he felt something crack. Something lift from his shoulders and pulled his wings away, letting them spread proudly, in a way he hadn’t felt or experienced in years. Possibly ever.
“You know….I always enjoyed the story of you they told on earth.” Lucifer grimaced again, the vision of you dimming for a moment as he glanced away.
“Is that so? I’m sure they’re singing my praises.” It was a dry laugh, his hands gesturing in a faux confidence, but his lips quirked when he heard your muffled one.
“No, many aren’t. Most seem to align themselves with Heavens view…” You hummed thoughtfully and stepped forwards into the soft grass that peaked through the cracks of brimstone. Lucifer followed, instinctively. He felt leashed by your presence, though not necessarily in a bad way.
“Though there are plenty, who think a little more like me. There’s many versions of your story. I always knew that the original couldn’t be the full story. Too..one sided. Time on earth taught me that there was always a second side. Someone’s else thoughts-, perspective. Falling only confirmed that.”
You words tangled with your fingers that fluttered across the branches of a close bush, caressing a small flower that curled into your touch. “The first thing I did was look for the story. Of the garden. I wanted to replicate it, though admittedly there was never much detail to go off!”
You laughed again and the sound was quickly becoming a favorite of his. It was gentle..understanding. It almost hurt.
“And when I read the story..it was different. More romantic for sure.” You flushed softly, cheeks warm again as you recalled the way the story of Lucifer and Lilith warmed your soul. “But..more honest. Heart breaking even. I couldn’t believe how horrible it was must’ve been…and never knowing how amazing your gift was..” you turned to him again, your gaze so earnest and true that it made him step back.
Lucifer couldn’t deny the warmth in his own cheeks. You were pretty..pretty? That felt mundane. You practically glowed in the garden. And while it wasn’t a perfect representation of what Eden had been, it was better.
Eden had always been..one dimensional. It lacked the depth and feeling that Lucifer had hoped to give humanity. It was gorgeous, there was no denying that. But it wasn’t real.
This…This, is what he had hoped for the garden to be. Alive. Truly alive.
And…you brought it life…because of him? It didn’t feel right in a way. Having spent so many years locked away by himself and mourning the sin and ruin he had created from his own selfish wish.
Selfish? Had it been selfish? At the time, when he had done it, it didn’t feel selfish. He wanted humanity to live. To be alive! Truly, and honestly alive.
And you were so Alive. You were dead here in hell and yet you were breathing life into this gorgeous scene because you chose to. You chose to fall too. You chose to be in hell.
Because of him? Because of his…gift?
It was ironic almost. Laughable even.
Your lips pursed, a worried sweat on your brow as you lost that roaring confidence that bled into your words prior. “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to preach or anything-“ He stopped you.
“So-.…you’re a fan?” His lips screwed into a wobbly smile, embarrassment creeping up his neck at his less then poetic comment, though the laugh you graced him with almost made the shame worth it.
“You could say that. I personally think I hold the title of number one fan, but you know beggars can’t be choosers I suppose.” You gestured animatedly, a small smirk on your lips as you professed your..favor towards the king, and he gleamed.
“Well!” His hands flew to his suit, straightening it out and letting his chest puff out from its slumped frame. “May I know the name of my, alleged, number one fan?” His words were coy, smug as he gestured to you with a flourish that he had shown to the other residents. (Of course till you had so rudely stunned him to silence)
The smile you gifted him was holy.
“(Y/N)…Your highness.” Your bow was playful, a little awkward and strained, but it made him laugh.
“(Y/n), hm? I’ll be sure to remember that.” His throat cleared briefly, “I…hope you wouldn’t mind me stopping by sometime again soon..I’d like to hear a bit more about your garden.” He liked the way you looked at him in this moment. Disbelieving but so hopeful. Like he was something, someone to gaze at in such a way.
“I’d be honored.”
Maybe you had a fan of your own now, as well.
———————☆
911 notes · View notes
calmcoldevening · 3 months ago
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Slashers x reader who can control shadows
@klerns-birdie
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Thomas Hewitt
• Thomas loved you with all his heart and cared about you, but to be honest, sometimes he was really scared of your ability to control shadows. It's not that he was afraid of you, no, he was just very worried about you.
• Other family members, in particular Hoyt, were quite delighted to learn about this ability of yours. Hoyt was glad that the chance of catching potential meat increased by a whopping 200%.
• Whenever you transform into your shadow self, Tommy is haunted by the fear that you won't come back. At such moments, it was as if an animal thirst for blood and violence really woke up in you, not that Thomas encouraged it. But he understood that all this was to protect the family, and the family always comes first.
• Thomas is extremely fond of physical contact with you. Because of your ability to control shadows, sometimes it seems that your skin is as cold as ice or grave earth, so he likes to squeeze your palms in his big ones and keep you warm.
• Thomas is a big boy, very big and big. Sometimes it's even embarrassing to watch when the victim manages to fool him and simply run away from home. It's at times like this that you show up. Such a sweet and fragile girl instantly turns into a cold-blooded killer with a crazy smile sparkling in the dark. Your translucent body gracefully moves softly and smoothly around the unsuspecting victim, and your shadows wrap cold tentacles around the body of the poor victim. You act quickly and accurately, and Thomas can only watch from afar as lingonberry drops of blood cover your dark body.
• After your little 'hunts', you turn back into your 'I' and smile, gently brushing the blood off your clothes. Thomas's heart swells with warmth from your sudden change of emotions. The way you tenderly examine him for wounds and tell him that everything is fine. Your shadows gently glide over his skin, causing goosebumps. Like the touch of a wet tongue, they calmed and brought a sense of comfort, because Thomas knew for sure that everything was under control.
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Michael Myers
• Your abilities definitely arouse his genuine interest. He had spent his entire life in a hospital, so he could not even imagine that such a thing really existed.
• He will watch you and your shadows like a curious little child, but he will never admit this to you or ask you to show him anything at his request. In this regard, he is quite closed and does not know how to fully express his feelings.
• You and Michael have some kind of unspoken games like hide-and-seek or catch-up. There's something hot about him knowing that you're always watching him from the shadows. To know that you are watching his every move, every murder and stabbing, causes his body to tremble, and his breathing under the mask becomes rapid and moist. And he gladly accepts this challenge and looks for you in this dirty darkness, hoping at least this time to win this game of cat and mouse.
• Sometimes Michael gets so carried away with you that he forgets about the victim in front of him. The unfortunate man is trying to escape, but he does not even suspect your presence. You easily wrap your shadowy arm around the fragile throat and squeeze it to a nasty bone crunch. Michael lowers the bloody knife and listlessly watches the scene unfold in front of him, unable to contain a slight smile.
• After the murder, you slowly come out of you, your body turns back into its usual self, small droplets of blood flow down your face when the victim coughed up blood a little. You approach Michael and freely take him by the elbow, leading him towards the house through the deserted streets of the city at night. As if you were the most ordinary couple who had never done anything wrong. Michael feels your shadow wrapping around his waist, and it brings a sense of comfort.
• Michael is terribly fond of your coolness and cruelty with which you kill victims. Like a crow, shamelessly pecking out the eyes of sinners hanging on crosses. Sweet and dangerous at the same time. A wonderful combination, warming Michael's blood up.
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Bo Sinclair
• Bo loves you madly. But this does not mean that he will talk about it directly. After all, since childhood he has had certain problems with aggression and the manifestation of his emotions and understanding of others. Therefore, sometimes he can be quite persistent and too clingy.
• He likes to make you jealous, knowing full well about your ability and cruelty. Bo can deliberately flirt with another tourist just to see how later your shadows will close around her delicate neck and tear the unfortunate girl into pieces of meat. This bloody show causes a pleasant shiver in his body. Perhaps he would also not mind if your gentle shadows and cold hands walked over his body.
• Bo really likes to realize that such an amazing and ambitious girl is his and only his. He doesn't intend to share you with anyone. If he's hanging around other girls (solely to annoy you), then he won't tolerate anyone else around you. If some new tourist gets too close to you, Bo will come up to you and put his arm around your waist, hugging you closer to him so that everyone around knows whose girl you are. It is better for this person to quickly understand his place if he does not want to die a very painful death.
• You often use your abilities just to tease him or get on his nerves. On the one hand, it annoys him, but on the other hand, he likes your attention, but he won't tell you about it. And he won't say that your cold weightless shadows on his skin cause pleasant sensations in his body. But you'll probably see it in his smug grin.
• You often go to his gas station when there are another couple of tourists on it. Seeing such a sweet, nice girl really calms future victims and weakens their vigilance. This strange man has such a sweet girl, obviously he only has a stern appearance, but a kind heart, there's nothing to worry about. Oh, how wrong they are, because it is this little sun with an innocent smile that poses a much greater danger to them. You'll be happy to hear the crunch of their bones under your tight grip a little later.
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Vincent Sinclair
• Your cold shadows feel good on his scarred face. At first, he was worried about this and did not want to show you his face, but the tenderness with which you stroked his rough skin gave him a pleasant calm. He clung to those black tentacles like a little kitten craving affection. The touch was both cool and strangely warm and gentle, it sent shivers down his spine.
• At first, Vincent was afraid when you literally came out of nowhere, although in fact you just turned into a shadow and followed him almost everywhere. Over time, Vincent got used to it and even learned to find your presence in this sepulchral silence of the basement. He likes how your dark translucent body moves in the light of a dozen candles, how graceful and beautiful your body looks. He finds a strange comfort knowing that you are almost always there, watching him from the shadows. After one of the victims attacked him at the most unexpected moment and broke his mask, which led Vincent into a momentary stupor, he was incredibly grateful when you killed this scoundrel on the spot. It took him a few minutes to realize what was happening, but your gentle touch made everything bearable. Although now he will have to wipe off the blood and the basement floor, but these are just small things.
• You're like his guardian angel, his shadow protector. It's a very pleasant feeling. Vincent knows that you are always on the safe side, that you will always help him if necessary. Because of this, he tries to do everything carefully so that you enjoy the show presented to you in full.
• Sometimes you use your shadows to hide Vincent himself. It helps a lot when the victims find the basement themselves and do not suspect anything about the danger. This creates a good surprise effect. And the proximity of your body to his own gives comfort and a sweet aftertaste of the upcoming murder, because after Vincent's flesh and blood, your soothing cold hugs are always waiting.
• He likes that most of the time, because of your abilities and temperament, it is you who take the initiative and a more dominant role. Vincent loves it when you tell him what to do, when you gently touch him with your cold shadows, when you shower his skin with wet kisses, in stark contrast to the coldness of your cold hands and shadows.
• Sometimes he really worries about your cold hands because he's afraid you'll freeze. That's why he likes it when you spend time together in a warm, almost hot basement. Vincent also likes to sculpt wax with you, because the wax is warm, and it will definitely warm you up a little.
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Ghostface
• Billy and Stu really like that you have such abilities. This is very suitable for their kind of activity and the image of a Ghostly face, so they almost immediately initiate you into their business. At first, of course, you don't really like it, but something inside you really wants it.
• They both like the surprise effect with which you kill an unsuspecting victim. One moment they were being chased by a tall man in a black suit and a ghost mask, and the next they were literally suffocated by cold air while your shadowy limbs grabbed the body of the unfortunate.
• After particularly successful kills, the boys clamp your still translucent shadow body between them like a sandwich. The blood from their suits is slowly soaking your clothes, but you didn't seem to care. The guys' hands slide over your body, hips and waist as they hold you closer to them. The sight of you covered in blood causes a sticky, almost animal desire inside them.
• Billy is usually a more reserved boy, while Stu relentlessly says all sorts of obscenities that you could do with your interesting ability. The idea that you can watch them while they're doing some personal stuff and they don't even know it makes them both damn hot.
• They love the horror that flashes in the eyes of the victims whenever you kill them with amazing dexterity and weariness. Guys love to take pictures of it. They have a whole photo album with similar pictures, one is better than the other. Stu even has his own collection of photos, but of a more explicit nature, which hangs above his bed in the bedroom.
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just-aake · 4 months ago
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Everlasting Devotion - Part III
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Pairing: princess!Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader
Summary: Sequel of Boundless Devotion Series. MedievalAU. With her coronation over, Natasha is now the queen of the Romanov Kingdom. However, the position comes with challenges from both old and new enemies as Natasha tries to maintain the peace while also navigating her relationship with you.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7
Warnings: light fluff, light angst
Words: 7572
It’s not difficult to spread news through the kingdom, especially regarding the royal family.
After all, gossip and rumors from the castle staff had initially revealed Natasha’s “secret relationship” with you. It makes sense that you would use the same method to spread the news of your supposed breakup.
With a carefully planned moment when some passing castle staff could easily overhear you and Natasha discussing returning as just friends, the two of you set the stage for your new charade.
By the next day, whispers of the breakup became the focus of every conversation. Nobles and common folks all either speculated whether the information was accurate or tried to pinpoint the reason for the sudden change.
In one of the castle’s guest rooms, maids pack the noble occupant’s belongings while they discuss the matter.
“Do you believe it’s true that Queen Natasha and Lady Y/n are no longer together?” one of them asks, her voice hushed yet eager for gossip.
The other maid glances around briefly before whispering, “I heard that this morning, the two passed each other in the halls with just a simple greeting, nothing like their previous interactions.”
“At least that means that they’re still on friendly terms with each other, right?” another one chimes in.
The first maid shakes her head with a sigh, “I hope so. Remember how Queen Natasha was so depressed when Lady Y/n became distant from her earlier in the year.”
“It’s so unfortunate that things didn’t work out for them,” the second maid remarks sadly, looking at the half-packed trunks before her and asking.
“Is Lady Y/n really leaving this evening?”
“Mhm,” the third maid answers with a nod but then pauses in realization and glances toward the door with a curious look.
“Speaking of which, where is Lady Y/n? She said she had to step away for a moment, but that was a while ago.”
They all look at each other with perplexed and clueless expressions before collectively shrugging in response and returning to their tasks, letting the conversation shift to other gossip.
Meanwhile, over in the opposite wing of the castle, in the new queen’s private chambers, your gasp of breath is muffled under Natasha’s mouth as she covers your lips with hers again, bringing you into another deep kiss.
Your hands clutch tightly at her clothes, pulling her closer from her position above you.
Now, given her newly changed relationship status, the two of you shouldn’t be in this kind of situation together.
However, when you visited her earlier to discuss further details of the plan, one teasing comment led to another, and before she realized it, Natasha found herself pulling you into a kiss and guiding you to her bed, where the two of you are now tangled in each other’s embrace.
“Natasha…” you whisper in between one of the kisses.
Her heartbeat quickens at the sound, loving how her name falls from your lips.
Pulling back slightly, Natasha takes a moment to look at you, and her breath catches at the stunning sight before her.
A lovely red flush graces your cheeks as your chest rises and falls heavily with every breath.
Your eyes look at her with such a loving gaze, and also a hint of desire underneath that causes Natasha to lean in again, unable to resist not being near you.
Her lips hover above yours, brushing them lightly in the gentlest touch.
You release a soft breath of anticipation, urging her closer.
And Natasha’s not one to ever deny a request from you.
Leaning in, she’s about to lose herself in the feeling of you once again — when her door suddenly slams open.
The sound of her younger sibling’s outraged exclamation fills the air.
“You broke up with Y/n?!”
A surprised shove from you pushes Natasha off from above your body, causing her to instinctively catch herself beside you on the bed before she could fall over the edge.
Realizing the result of your action, you reach out to steady her and give her an embarrassed, apologetic look before withdrawing away when you remember the new presence in the room.
Groaning at the interruption, Natasha runs her fingers through her hair in frustration, pushing it back from where it had fallen over her face as she shoots a glare at her little sister.
“How many times have I told you to knock, Yelena?!”
Ignoring her reprimand, Yelena stands frozen, mouth agape in shock. She looks between the two of you in confusion, struggling to find words.
After a second, she regains her composure, swiftly closes the door, and turns to face both of you again, pointing at Natasha in accusation.
“No way,” Yelena groans in disbelief. “Please don’t tell me this one of your stupid plans again.”
Sitting up straighter at the insult, Natasha huffs and crosses her arms in offense.
Before she can begin an argument with her sister, you gently rest your hand on her arm, stopping her.
“Actually, Yelena,” you interject. “This time, it was my idea.”
“To break up!?” Yelena exclaims, her voice rising in confusion and disbelief.
“To pretend to break up,” Natasha stresses the distinction with a frown.
She stands from the bed, subtly adjusting her clothes where you had pulled them, inadvertently revealing a glimpse of her toned body for a brief second.
Clearing your throat lightly at the sight, you quickly look away and scoot to the opposite side of the bed from Natasha, standing and directing your attention to Yelena instead.
“It’s just until the matter with Dreykov is resolved,” you explain. “There’s so much tension between everyone on the council at the moment, and I don’t think our relationship is helping to ease that pressure.”
“Unbelievable,” Yelena sighs in exasperation, rubbing her temples as she mutters, “Why can’t you two just be a normal couple?”
“We are a normal couple,” Natasha argues defensively, her brows furrowing as she crosses her arms.
“Well, according to the whole kingdom, you’re not even together anymore,” Yelena reveals.
You release a relieved breath, nodding at the news.
“So it worked. People actually believe that we’ve broken up,” you remark before glancing at Natasha for confirmation.
“That’s good. Isn’t it, Natasha?”
For some reason, your relieved words cause an uncomfortable feeling to form in her chest. Natasha presses her lips slightly in a thin line in discomfort, but when you turn to look at her with the question, her expression quickly shifts, and she manages a small smile.
“Yeah…” Natasha nods lightly. “…good.”
Yelena makes a sound of disbelief, rolling her eyes and throwing her hands up in exasperation.
“Unbelievable,” she mutters under her breath.
Turning to her sister, Natasha asks impatiently, “Was there something you needed?”
Unbothered by her annoyed tone, Yelena shrugs calmly.
“Not really. I originally came here to slap some sense into you, but since you’re just pretending, I don’t have to anymore.”
“Great, then leave,” Natasha responds flatly.
“Actually,” you interject, stepping in between the two. “I think I should go. I need to finish preparing everything for my return home this evening anyway.”
Natasha’s expression falls at the reminder.
She tried to convince you to stay longer, but you remained firm in your decision to return to your manor as soon as possible.
Letting out a tiny sigh, Natasha takes your hand, caressing it gently as she pulls you close.
“Alright then, I’ll meet you later in the courtyard before you leave.”
At her offer, you and Yelena exchange a quick glance at each other, silently communicating something to each other.
“What is it now?” Natasha asks, her irritation resurfacing at the unspoken interaction. She already knows she’s not going to like the answer.
Stepping back, Yelena raises her hands in surrender and shakes her head in refusal, clearly opting out of delivering the bad news.
Natasha rolls her eyes and turns to you, her gaze expectant.
You give her hand in yours a tiny squeeze before gently pulling away, patting her arm to offer some comfort.
“It might be better if you don’t,” you explain carefully. “People are just starting to believe our ruse, and we wouldn’t want them to become suspicious.”
Natasha huffs in disbelief.
“So seeing my best friend off before she leaves is suspicious?”
“No,” Yelena answers with a slight smirk. “But it’s been less than a day since you broke her heart. Wouldn’t a breakup be more believable if there’s not much interaction between you two at the moment?”
Her words cause Natasha to frown.
“Is that what they’re saying?” Natasha asks, her voice growing more upset. “That I hurt Y/n. I would never do that.”
“But you kind of did,” Yelena counters before shrugging slightly. “At least the pretend version of you did.”
Natasha’s brows furrow deeply at the revelation, a mixture of frustration and sadness flashing in her eyes.
She opens her mouth to argue, but you interrupt her by placing a calming touch on her shoulder.
“What matters is that our plan’s working,” you say, caressing her arm comfortingly before intertwining your fingers with hers, bringing her focus to you.
“Which means Yelena’s right,” you continue firmly. “We shouldn’t be seen together for the moment.”
You tilt your head and look at her with that same soft expression that always makes her want to grant any request of yours.
“Okay, Natasha?” you ask for her confirmation.
She presses her lips slightly in irritation at the situation, but at your expectant gaze, Natasha relents with a sigh.
“Okay,” she murmurs reluctantly. “I’ll keep my distance.”
In the background, Yelena mutters a soft “whipped” under her breath before coughing lightly when Natasha shoots her a warning glare.
You roll your eyes at Yelena’s teasing before cupping Natasha’s face and pressing a light kiss on her cheek.
“I’ll see you at the next council meeting,” you reassure, turning toward the door.
Considering that’s days away, Natasha isn’t all that comforted by your words. Her eyes follow you, a mixture of longing and resignation in her heart.
As you walk past Yelena, she remarks with a mischievous grin.
“I’m telling Kate.”
“I’d be surprised if you didn’t,” you reply with an amused smile. “Goodbye, you two. And Yelena, don’t tease Natasha too much when I’m gone.”
“No promises,” Yelena calls out with a sarcastic wave.
When the door closes, Yelena turns to Natasha with a knowing smirk.
“So…how many seconds did it take for you to cave and agree to Y/n’s idea?”
Natasha sighs deeply, running a hand through her hair in exhaustion before moving toward her desk.
“Not now, Yelena,” she warns, not in the mood for further teasing.
Yelena observes her for a moment, noting the tension in her posture, before shrugging and turning her attention to her sister’s display of weapons. She picks up one of the swords, testing its weight and balance with an appreciative nod, and takes a few practice swings.
Natasha ignores her sister’s actions, already used to Yelena always playing with her things, and turns her attention to the documents she was reviewing before she was understandably distracted by your presence.
Her brows pinch in irritation when she realizes that most are from nobles expressing their agreement with her decision to break off her relationship with you, followed by their recommendations for other potential political partners.
“I don’t think this is going to work,” Yelena says suddenly, grabbing Natasha’s attention.
Glancing up, Natasha gives her a questioning look, prompting Yelena to elaborate and gesture at her with the sword.
“You and Y/n pretending not to be together.”
Natasha scoffs and leans back confidently against her chair.
“We’ve known each other for years. I think we have a pretty good idea of how to behave as friends.”
“Mmm, Y/n probably can, but you can’t.”
“Sure, whatever you say, Yelena,” Natasha remarks sarcastically, brushing off the comment.
“No, I’m serious,” Yelena insists, moving closer to stand across the desk from Natasha. She waves her unarmed hand in the air for emphasis as she explains.
“It was fine before when the two of you pretended to be a couple, but that’s because, let’s be honest, you often behaved like one in the past.”
Natasha rolls her eyes, shaking her head in disbelief, refusing to acknowledge the most likely truth in her words.
“But pretending to be just friends?” Yelena continues, pointing at Natasha accusingly. “I can’t even remember the last time you looked at Y/n without that lovestruck look in your eyes.”
“I look at her the same way as everyone else,” Natasha defends.
“Mhm, sure,” Yelena responds flatly, rolling her eyes.
With a long sigh, Yelena’s expression grows serious, and a hint of concern flickers in her gaze as she continues.
“I’m just saying it’s obvious that you’ve been in love with Y/n much longer than she has been with you. And now that you’ve experienced what it’s like to be with her, you’ll probably struggle with this whole ‘just friends’ situation.”
A silence envelops the room as Yelena’s words hang in the air.
Natasha appears to be contemplating her sister’s warning before she leans forward on her desk with a slight smirk.
“Y/n told you when she fell in love with me?” Natasha asks curiously.
“You’re hopeless,” Yelena deadpans, hanging her head in defeat.
Natasha chuckles lightly, leaning back in her chair, relaxed and sure.
“I’ll be fine. I know how Y/n feels about me, and she knows how I feel about her. Nothing is going to come between us.”
Yelena shoots her a skeptical look.
“Except for the fact that the two of you are now eligible for other suitors,” she points out, pondering for a moment before adding, “I mean, wasn’t Y/n already meeting with Commander Hill as a potential partner before you two pretended to be together?”
Natasha recalls the moment when you confronted her about the secret relationship rumor after your date with Maria.
You had told her that the two of you were just talking then, but Natasha still remembers the discomfort and nervousness she felt when she discovered you were looking for a partner.
Now that she thinks about it, Natasha wonders, if there wasn’t that momentary rift in her friendship with you, would she have been considered as one of your choices as a potential partner, or would you still have accepted Maria’s invitation instead?
The sudden curious thought unnerves her slightly, causing her to shift uncomfortably in her chair.
Attempting to appear unbothered, Natasha shrugs and replies calmly, “Yeah, but nothing resulted from those meetings.”
“Because of your little charade,” Yelena points out. “Who knows, maybe if you hadn’t asked Y/n to be a part of your plan, they would’ve been married by now.”
Natasha frowns deeply at that comment before quickly shaking her head to dispel the uncomfortable thought.
Considering she has a brief meeting with the said commander later today, the last thing she wants to dwell on is how you and Hill nearly shared a future together.
“Is there a point you’re trying to make with all of this?” Natasha asks.
In response, Yelena slams her hand atop the desk, shooting her a serious glare and an exasperated sigh.
“I just don’t understand why you would choose to go backward in your relationship.”
Natasha gives her a confused look.
“As opposed to what?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Yelena replies sarcastically, gesturing to one of the desk drawers. “Maybe that little box hidden in there might give you an idea.”
Natasha looks at the drawer where she knows the ring intended for you is hidden, then back to her sister with a disapproving glare.
“You’ve been snooping through my things again,” Natasha accuses.
“Wha-No…” Yelena defends.
She waves her hand aimlessly in the air as she tries to come up with a believable excuse.
“I just happened to see it…that one time.”
Natasha crosses her arms and raises a disbelieving brow, staring at her expectantly.
Knowing she’s been caught, Yelena sighs and continues, “…when I was searching your desk to borrow one of your knives,” she admits.
Natasha blinks at her in confusion.
“What happened to all of yours?” Natasha asks, referring to Yelena’s own collection of weapons.
“Don’t worry about it,” Yelena brushes off quickly, looking away and twirling the sword in her hand in distraction.
Natasha examines her sister carefully, suspicion in her eyes. She knows Yelena well enough to recognize when she’s hiding something.
However, Natasha also understands the lack of privacy and freedom that comes with their roles in the royal family, where every move and decision is under constant scrutiny.
Having recently experienced this lack of freedom herself, Natasha decides to give her some leeway, trusting that Yelena will come to her if she needs help.
“Alright, then,” Natasha accepts nonchalantly.
Yelena squints at her in suspicion at her simple response before widening her eyes in surprise, realizing she wasn’t going to pry further. Yelena goes to return the sword to its place before facing her again, bringing the subject back to the original discussion.
“So, why haven’t you asked Y/n to marry you?” Yelena questions, her tone curious and insistent.
“It’s complicated.”
“Is it Mom?” Yelena asks knowingly. “Is she trying to make you do some elaborate proposal?”
“No, it’s not that,” Natasha chuckles lightly before her expression turns somber at the real reason why she hasn’t asked you to marry her yet.
“It’s just…with everything that’s happened, I just…I want to make sure it’s safe…”
Natasha glances down at the documents from the overbearing nobles, their demands and judgments returning to her mind. She rubs her temple in irritation, feeling the tension increasing there again.
“…before I drag her into this kind of life,” she finishes, her voice barely above a whisper.
Yelena observes her for a moment, her brow furrowing in thought before she shakes her head knowingly.
“Nat, you can’t protect Y/n from every danger out there,” Yelena remarks. “Besides, we both know she’s perfectly capable of handling herself.”
“I know,” Natasha answers sadly, recalling how you tend to face your problems alone and how well you had hidden your troubles from her and the others.
She still regrets not noticing what you were going through sooner.
Determined not to make the same mistake again, Natasha mutters softly under her breath in a promise, “But she shouldn’t have to.”
Realistically, she can’t shield you from every danger. But she can still try to give you a peaceful kingdom—the kind you’ve always believed she could accomplish.
That’s the least she can do for you after all the trust you’ve placed in her.
Letting out a tired exhale, Natasha reaches to the side of her desk and opens a secret compartment, retrieving the weapon from its place.
Her expression softens as she turns the item over in her hand, examining it with a gentle touch. It is one of her favorites and special to her for a reason.
The engraving of her family crest is prominently displayed on the hilt. The intricate hourglass design reflects hours of delicate and careful craftsmanship. Each detail and aspect of the weapon had been chosen and customized personally for her.
After a moment’s hesitation, she looks at Yelena in contemplation and makes a decision.
“Here, so you won’t have to go through my things again,” Natasha says, offering the knife to Yelena.
Before she can take it, Natasha pulls it back slightly and points at her with a warning, continuing firmly, “But you better return it after you finish with whatever it is you’re doing.”
Yelena nods in understanding as she accepts the weapon, admiring it appreciatively before recognizing it and securing it at her side.
“Right, because this was a present from Y/n. It’d be a real shame if I accidentally lost it,” she jokes with a slight chuckle.
Not amused, Natasha gives her a severe glare, a silent warning that causes Yelena to raise her hands in surrender.
“I’m kidding,” Yelena reassures. “Don’t worry, Nat, I’ll take care of it. Promise.”
She makes her way to the door and opens it before pausing and turning back to Natasha.
“Oh, I almost forgot. Mom wanted me to tell you that you need to meet with her sometime soon to discuss the plans for your birthday celebration.”
Natasha groans at the reminder.
Her upcoming birthday meant yet another social event that some nobles will manipulate for their own selfish agendas.
Considering how the previous year’s celebration turned out, Natasha is not looking forward to participating in the planning for this one.
“I assume ‘nothing’ is not an acceptable answer for her,” Natasha says with resignation.
Yelena shrugs, replying, “Maybe if Y/N was the one to suggest that. Knowing Mom, she’d probably consider it then.”
She pauses, a mischievous glint in her eyes, before releasing an exaggerated gasp.
“But wait, it wouldn’t make sense for Y/N to do that for you.”
Her voice drips with sarcasm as she gives Natasha a teasing smirk.
“You know, since you broke her heart.”
Before Natasha can react, Yelena swiftly hides behind the door, closing it just in time to block the small, paperweight Natasha hurls at her, the object clattering harmlessly to the floor.
Her laughter echoes down the hallway, causing Natasha to huff in irritation.
She turns her glare to the documents on her desk. With a frustrated growl, she crumples the papers and throws them away.
As she sits back in her chair, Natasha runs a hand through her hair, closing her eyes for a moment to collect herself. She sighs deeply, realizing she’s not going to like this new charade at all.
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
After preparing everything for your return home, Natasha’s mother invited you to spend some time with her before you leave.
The fireplace casts a warm glow, creating a cozy atmosphere in the room as you engage in a friendly game with her.
Sitting across from the former queen, you study the board between you, contemplating your next move.
“So,” Melina suddenly speaks up, drawing your attention. “You and Natasha have decided to remain friends, is that right?”
Realizing she’s referring to the breakup rumors you and Natasha fabricated, you look down at the board to avoid her scrutinizing gaze. Calmly, you move one of your pieces forward, capturing one of hers, before nodding and meeting her eyes again.
“Yes,” you reply, keeping your tone casual. “We both agreed it would be for the best.”
“Hmm,” she hums thoughtfully.
Her eyes narrow in suspicion at you as she taps the edge of the board in contemplation.
You maintain your composure, accustomed to facing similarly observant eyes from her daughter.
After a moment, Melina sighs softly and turns her attention back to the board.
“I see. Well, I won’t deny that I’m disappointed it didn’t work out between you two, but I promised Natasha I wouldn’t meddle in her love life anymore. So…” She moves one of her pieces and looks up at you with a nod. “…if that’s what you’ve both decided, I’ll respect your decision.”
You offer a small, appreciative smile and refocus on the board. Noticing the new position of her piece, you furrow your brows in confusion.
“Why would you place your king inside the enemy’s territory like that?” you ask.
Melina smiles faintly, letting out a melancholic sigh as her gaze drifts to the board, lost in a distant memory.
“It’s more common than you might think, especially during wartime. Spies have always given our kingdom a fighting chance, so leaders often took on such roles too.”
She looks back at you with a smirk.
“Even I was a spy at one point in my life.”
“That sounds dangerous,” you remark, moving a counter piece and capturing another one of hers.
“It is, but if done correctly, it can be very effective,” she explains, moving the king to a position you didn’t anticipate, trapping your defenses.
She leans back in her chair, relaxed and confident, nodding at you with a hint of a smile. “And who knows, you may discover something along the way.”
Frowning, you scrutinize the board, searching for a path to recover from Melina’s powerful move, but find none. With a soft sigh, you shake your head in defeat.
“I should’ve known better than to think I could beat you in a game of war and strategy,” you admit, leaning back in your chair.
Melina waves her hand dismissively, her eyes twinkling with amusement.
“Nonsense, you’ve matched me at every move up until the very end. It’s impressive, really. I believe you strategize almost at the same level as your father.”
Your body tenses at the compliment, and your expression falters as you withdraw your hands to your lap.
The warmth of the fire seems to fade, replaced by a sudden chill that runs through you.
Melina notices your change in demeanor, her brow furrowing with concern as she realizes her mistake.
“I’m so sorry, Y/n,” she apologizes genuinely, her voice softening. She reaches out as if to touch your arm but hesitates, choosing to respect your space. “That was insensitive of me.”
“It’s okay,” you mutter, your voice barely audible as you shake your head slightly. Your hands clench slightly with your next thought, the tension palpable in the air. “I mean, it makes sense that I would have internalized some of his ways of thinking after all these years.”
“No,” Melina interjects firmly, leaning forward to ensure you hear her clearly. “You are not like him, Y/n. You are better. In every way.”
Her eyes lock onto yours, filled with conviction and deep, unwavering belief in you.
The sincerity in her words warms you, and you give her a small, genuine smile of appreciation. You hope that you will be able to prove her right.
Still sensing the slight tension in your expression, Melina claps her hands together, a determined look on her face.
“Now, I wouldn’t want you to leave without a little something from me,” she remarks, reaching over to grab a bundle of books and handing them to you.
“Here you are,” she continues. “You’ve been quite curious about the previous war in our recent conversations, so I had these old books found for you. Unfortunately, there isn’t much information about the Starks, like you requested.”
“Thank you,” you say in slight surprise. As you flip through the books. Your fingers run along their spines until one, in particular, catches your eye. Its edges are charred and damaged as if it had survived a fire.
“Oh, how did that one get in there?” Melina asks, peering over with a hint of confusion.
“What is it?” you ask, intrigued by the book’s worn appearance.
“It belonged to King Howard Stark, found among the remnants after the fire burned down their carriage,” she explains. “We tried to return some of the things we salvaged from the accident, but their son didn’t want to accept anything from us then. Still, we are fortunate that he at least agreed to keep the peace treaty his parents had established.”
You delicately trace the front of the book, absorbing the revelation. Though you once claimed you wanted nothing to do with your identity, you can’t deny your curiosity about what life might have been like if things had turned out differently or about the people who would’ve been a part of your life instead.
Melina sighs sadly at the memories. “I should return that to the storage,” she says, reaching for the book.
But you pull it closer, asking hesitantly, “Is it okay if I hold onto it…just for a bit?”
Melina observes you thoughtfully, humming in contemplation before deciding, “I guess that should be fine since I know you’d take care of it. But why the sudden interest in the Starks?” she asks.
You shrug lightly, tightening your hold on the book.
“Like you said, just curious.”
Before she can press further, a knock on the door interrupts the conversation, and Melina calls them in. The door creaks open, revealing a guard who bows slightly and declares, “The carriage is ready outside for Lady Y/n.”
Hearing this, you stand and give a bow in goodbye to the former queen.
“I should go.”
Raising her hand in a stopping gesture, Melina stands with an amused expression.
“Hold on, with all my spare time now, I don’t see why I can’t come with you to see you off.”
You pause, slightly surprised, your eyebrows raising, but you don’t refuse her company as the two of you make your way to the courtyard.
When you step outside, the chill of the evening air greets you. At this late hour, the area is almost devoid of workers and visitors. The sun hangs low on the horizon, casting a warm, golden glow over the cobblestone paths.
However, the quiet atmosphere is disrupted by a rhythmic clang of metal against metal from the nearby training yard.
Curious, you glance toward the sound, and a tiny, amused smile forms on your face when you spot the familiar redhead, seemingly engrossed in a sparring session.
“How strange. Natasha doesn’t typically train at this time of day,” Melina comments beside you, noticing her daughter’s presence. She gives you a questioning look, her eyes sharp with curiosity.
You shrug slightly, your gaze naturally following Natasha’s graceful movements as she parries and strikes at each attack.
“I’m not sure why she would be training at this time either,” you reply softly, the lie slipping quickly from your lips.
As you continue to watch, you realize that Natasha’s opponent is Commander Hill. You recall that they were scheduled to meet today, but it seems they decided to test their skills against each other instead.
You’re fairly certain who suggested the idea, conveniently placing them in the training yard just as you are leaving.
At one point, Natasha’s eyes meet yours, and a tiny grin briefly breaks through her concentrated expression, causing your lips to quirk up lightly in response.
“I see,” Melina mutters before clearing her throat.
Your eyes widen in surprise as you remember her presence, realizing how long you must have been staring at Natasha.
Turning away casually, feigning disinterest, you return your attention to the former queen, hoping she didn’t notice your captivated expression.
Unfortunately, the amused grin on her face, accompanied by a raised brow, suggests otherwise.
Sighing internally, you can’t believe it hasn’t even been a day since you and Natasha started this charade, and you are already getting caught by her sister and mother.
You’ll need to work harder to suppress your feelings for Natasha to ensure that this charade remains convincing to others in the future.
Taking a deep breath, you brace yourself for the anticipated reprimand of your deception.
Melina hums thoughtfully, her eyes darting between her daughter and you before giving you a pointed tilt of her head.
“I trust that the two of you know what you’re doing?” she finally asks.
Surprised by her words, you stare at her momentarily before nodding hesitantly and answering softly, “Yes.”
“Good,” Melina says with a satisfied nod. “That’s all I need to know.”
You tilt your head in slight confusion at her reaction, astonished by her nonchalant attitude and the trust she places in you regarding the situation. You wonder if she’s toying with you, offering a false sense of security before delivering a reprimand or lecture.
However, Melina simply gives you a reassuring smile and a comforting pat on the shoulder before surveying the surrounding courtyard. Her brow furrows as she realizes something, and she calls for a nearby guard.
“Where are all the escorts?” she asks, concern evident in her voice.
Before the guard can respond, you break out of your stupor and speak up.
“I told Captain Rogers that I would be fine without one,” you reveal.
The aftermath of the recent attack had left many of the castle’s soldiers out of commission, still recovering from their injuries, both physically and mentally. You can see that the remaining soldiers are spread thin, their numbers barely sufficient to maintain the castle’s defenses.
“No, that’s not acceptable. Surely, we can offer you some protection on your way home,” Melina insists, moving to command one of the guards.
You stop her, interjecting reassuringly, “Thank you, but really, there’s no need.” You gesture towards the carriage. “If it makes you feel better, I won’t be alone during the ride.”
Standing in the distance near the carriage are two familiar figures waiting for you.
Upon seeing who you’re referring to, Melina relents with a soft sigh in understanding, “Oh, alright then.”
She gently touches your arm, adding, “It’s been a pleasure having you at the castle, Y/n. Come visit again soon.”
You give her a bow in farewell, returning the sentiment, “I will. Thank you…for everything.”
Leaving the former queen’s side, you make your way over to the carriage and find Pietro near the packed chests at the back. He fidgets with the restraints, securing them again and again, his movements a blur of nervous energy.
After stowing the bundle of books in the carriage seat, you quietly approach him.
“What are you doing?” you ask the older twin curiously.
Pietro jumps slightly, startled by your sudden presence at his side, and replies hastily, “We’re not doing anything!”
Your eyes narrow in suspicion at his reaction.
Seeing your expression, Pietro shifts nervously and tries to lean casually on the chests, patting them awkwardly.
“I mean, I’m just checking to make sure everything’s secure.”
“The guards already did that,” you point out with a raised brow.
“Well, you can’t be too careful,” Pietro sputters, his eyes shifting around nervously.
You notice his gaze darting toward something beside you.
Turning to see what he’s looking at, you find his twin sister standing a short distance away, gazing intently at the training field.
Confused and surprised that Wanda has yet to greet you, you start to make your way toward her.
Before you can get far, Pietro swiftly slides in front of you, blocking your path and waving his hands frantically.
“You know what, you’re right. Everything’s all ready to go. We should just get into the carriage now,” he suggests quickly, attempting to steer you in a different direction.
Pinching your brows further in suspicion at his behavior, you step back and cross your arms.
“What is going on? Why are you acting so strange?”
Pietro’s face flushes with a mixture of guilt and anxiety.
“It’s nothing, really. Just…um..uh,” he stammers, but his eyes flicker once more to Wanda.
Determined to get to the bottom of this, you sidestep Pietro and stride over to Wanda. He quickly follows behind you, still trying to convince you that nothing is happening.
With her arms crossed, Wanda focuses intently on something in the distance, not noticing your approach.
You follow her gaze curiously, and your eyes widen in surprise at what you see.
In the training yard, Natasha is now struggling in the sparring session, with Maria seemingly gaining the upper hand with each strike. While it’s not unusual for the skilled and formidable commander to hold her own against Natasha, you quickly notice that something is off compared to when you watched them earlier.
Natasha’s movements and swings are staggered, lacking their usual precision. When their swords connect again, you spot the reason.
A tiny red mist appears at the point of contact, and Natasha’s sword is slightly shifted from its intended position, causing her to lose balance from the sudden, unexpected shift in pressure.
Reacting quickly, Natasha adjusts herself and continues the fight.
Swiftly turning to Wanda, you see the subtle red glow in her eyes and on her fingers, moving slightly from where they’re hidden in her crossed arms.
“Wanda!” you call out.
Startled, all signs of her powers vanish immediately, and she turns to you with an innocent expression.
“Yes?”
You give her a disbelieving look, silently telling her she isn’t fooling you.
“In the carriage,” you declare, pointing back in the direction you came from.
Frowning, Wanda points at Natasha in the distance. “But she broke up—”
“Now,” you say firmly.
Wanda sighs, dropping her hands to her sides with a pout, but she follows your order and heads to the carriage.
Turning to the other twin, who is now standing awkwardly nearby, pretending to innocently examine something on his shirt, you call out, “You too, Pietro.”
Grabbing his arm, you pull him toward the carriage. “Don’t think I forgot about your part in this.”
He yelps in surprise at your sudden action. “But I didn’t do anything!” he exclaims incredulously.
“Really? So, you weren’t trying to distract me from finding out what Wanda was doing?” you ask, crossing your arms.
Pietro starts to answer but hesitates, closing his mouth guiltily under your knowing gaze. Deciding there’s no point in lying, he quickly jumps into the carriage before you can reprimand him further.
Shaking your head at their behavior, you hold the carriage door, preparing to enter, but can’t resist glancing over your shoulder at the training yard once more.
Natasha stands victorious despite the earlier interference. She helps Maria to her feet, then casually turns toward you as she sheathes her sword. Catching your gaze, Natasha flashes her usual confident smirk and follows it with a quick, flirty wink.
Huffing lightly, you roll your eyes at her antics but can’t help the smile that forms on your face. With a slight nod of goodbye, you climb into the carriage, and the driver closes the door behind you.
Natasha watches you over at the training ground until you disappear inside the carriage.
She’s glad she thought of arranging this short training session, knowing you would be leaving at this time. This way, she keeps her promise to maintain distance while still seizing the chance to see you.
The moment you appeared with her mother, her attention immediately drifted toward you. Glancing down at her hand, Natasha clenches and unclenches it, observing it curiously before looking back at the carriage.
Perhaps her focus on you was why some of her strikes felt off earlier.
The commander steps up beside her after recovering from her defeat, and her eyes follow Natasha’s gaze across the courtyard.
“Oh, is Lady Y/n leaving today?” Maria inquires, wiping sweat from her brow.
Realizing she is still staring, Natasha quickly turns away. She nods slightly and tries to mask her emotions with a casual tone. “It appears so.”
Maria’s expression shifts to one of sympathy at the seemingly new dynamic between you and Natasha.
“I’m sorry to hear that it didn’t work out between you two,” Maria says gently. “I hope this wasn’t because of the remarks from the other council members.”
Natasha grimaces at the reminder of why she’s in this position, but she quickly changes her expression to something more neutral.
“These kinds of romantic relationships are always complicated,” she says with forced nonchalance, adding, “We’ll be fine eventually. This won’t change anything about our friendship.”
Maria nods thoughtfully, glancing back at your carriage.
“That’s good to hear,” she says. “Whether romantic or platonic, I believe Lady Y/n is someone great to have by your side, either way, Your Majesty. The other lords don’t even try to know her enough to understand that.”
Her praise reminds Natasha of Yelena’s earlier remarks regarding you and the commander.
Clearing her throat to dispel the sudden discomfort, Natasha tries to sound casual as she brings up the topic of Maria’s intentions.
“I heard you and she also shared a brief sort of courtship before,” Natasha begins, hesitantly asking, “Do you still have an interest in Lady Y/n in that way?”
Maria turns her attention back to Natasha, her expression slightly surprised before turning contemplative as she considers her response.
“I won’t lie and say that I’m not intrigued after getting to know Lady Y/n,” she finally replies, her words careful and measured.
Natasha’s brows furrow slightly at her admission, realizing Yelena was correct about the potential problems this new charade could bring.
You’ve always teased her for having so many admirers, yet you are oblivious to the many others also drawn to you.
Now that you’re no longer spoken for, they are probably eager for the chance to be with you. But with the conditions of this charade, Natasha can’t do anything to prevent it from happening, forced to keep her distance and maintain an indifferent attitude about the situation.
Natasha sighs internally at the thought and returns her focus to the conversation.
Before she can muster an appropriate response, Maria gives her a small, knowing smile as she continues, “However, I won’t be pursuing such relations with her anytime soon if that’s what you’re asking.”
Confused, Natasha furrows her brows and asks curiously, “Why is that?”
Maria chuckles lightly before gesturing at her.
“Well, first, because she just got out of a relationship with you,” Maria reminds her. “I’m sure she would prefer some time to herself before delving into something with another person so soon.”
Natasha nods in understanding, acknowledging the truth in Maria’s reasoning. “And the other reason?”
Maria’s eyes drift back to the carriage briefly before returning to Natasha. A faint, self-conscious smile plays on her lips.
“Contrary to how it may seem with my other accomplishments, I’m not as confident when it comes to matters of romance,” she admits.
Natasha considers this, realizing she rarely hears about the commander’s romantic pursuits. The only time it was mentioned was by you about your meeting with her.
Rather than reassurance, her revelation brings about a new discomfort as Natasha suddenly realizes something.
She raises her hand in a halting gesture, her thoughts racing as she pieces together the new information.
“Wait, are you saying Y/n asked you out first?” Natasha asks hesitantly.
Maria nods in confirmation before tilting her head slightly as if recalling the memory.
“I’m still curious as to why she did, though, considering her secret relationship with you,” she remarks thoughtfully. She shakes her head and shrugs, continuing, “Though, maybe it was her father’s decision to have us meet. I heard he made such arrangements for her during that time.”
Natasha falls silent as she processes the revelation. The uncomfortable feeling from before resurfaces with full force. She knows Dreykov had no part in this.
Choosing Maria was something you decided for yourself.
After a moment of silence, Maria speaks up, sensing Natasha’s distracted state.
“Should I come back another time?” she suggests.
Pulled from her thoughts, Natasha quickly shakes her head in response, deciding to redirect the conversation to other matters rather than continue spiraling further about the subject. She can deal with her feelings later.
“No, it’s fine,” she reassures, taking a deep breath to regain her composure. “You mentioned you found something troubling about Rumlow’s weapon operations.”
Maria nods, retrieving a folded document from her side and handing it to Natasha.
“One of the orders from his books lists some strange, unapproved weapons that came in recently,” she explains.
Natasha furrows her brows as she examines the document. It indicates that the weapons were sent to Rumlow from somewhere far west. But the only two kingdoms in that direction would be Carter and—
“Stark?” Natasha mutters in contemplation.
After years of brief communication with the former enemy kingdom, the sudden influx of information concerning them is both unusual and unsettling.
First, there was their previous captain Bucky’s reappearance from hiding, then your revealed identity, and now possibly this.
Natasha would feel better about the situation if she had a chance to meet the Stark king and see what sort of person he is, but all she’s learned about him is from rumors and stories—most of which are not exactly favorable toward his character.
“We’re not sure,” Maria answers, pulling Natasha from her thoughts. “But that’s the least troubling part.”
“What is it then?” Natasha questions.
“They’re missing from his inventory,” she reveals. “Most likely, the weapons have already been sold or distributed to his followers.”
The mercenaries of Hydra. Some of their members escaped capture after her duel with Rumlow and are still hiding in the kingdom.
It’s troubling to think they may have gotten hold of these weapons, and now, without someone to follow, who knows what they might plan to do.
Natasha sighs at the news, adding to her growing list of worries.
“What kind of weapons are we dealing with here?”
“I’ve asked around, but not even Clint has an idea of what these weapons are capable of,” Maria answers.
Natasha frowns, then nods with determination.
“Inform Captain Rogers of the situation and see if he can spare any more help in the investigation,” she instructs. “We need to find these weapons quickly before they are used to hurt anybody.”
“Understood,” Maria replies, nodding. “I’ll let him know right away.”
As Maria leaves to carry out the orders, Natasha takes a moment to collect herself.
The thought of being unable to be near you for a while tugs at her heart, but combined with these new problems, she steels herself, understanding that there are other pressing matters at the moment.
Her feelings can wait. It’s like she said before — Nothing is going to come between you two. Natasha glances back toward the departing carriage one last time, a mix of conflicted emotions flickering across her face. Right?
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7
A/n: thank you for reading! I know I already said that it may take longer in between parts, but I’m still sorry about the wait (and for how long this part is 😬) Hopefully, with some free time coming up, I can have more time to write.
Taglist : @midastouch013, @2silverchain, @dvrkhcld, @observeowl, @x-drowned-x, @fireandblood-3, @natsxwife, @leequifey, @blacklightsposts, @srt-sah, @scar-letwidow, @likefirenrain, @autorasexy, @natsbiggestfan1, @lex13cm, @iheartjohansson, @tofu9162, @nothanksbye07, @unexpected-character, @natashasilverfox, @acciowriting, @qtreesfanstuff
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prokopetz · 9 months ago
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So, you've mentioned before that TTRPGs always have an expected "mode of play", that is, the basic concept from which the gameplay loop is derived. I admit I have little experience with this kind of thing, but I'm having trouble wrapping my head around the mode of play of Lasers and Feelings. Like, what's the unifying thread between Lasers and Feelings, Radical Catgirl Anarchy, and Lily is Girls With The Ability? Or between L&F and something like Speeding Bullets, for that matter? Is it just that they're all rules-light shitposts? Or is it based on, like, the tension between the two different ends of a dichotomy?
One-page games can be tricky in this respect because they just don't have the bandwidth to explicitly state many of their assumptions. They necessarily depend on the players (and the GM, if present) bringing the "correct" set of assumptions to the table regarding how the game ought to be played.
Still, there's enough there to draw certain conclusions. For example, in a typical Lasers & Feelings hack, rolling the dice gives a pass-or-fail outcome (with optional complication) for a discrete physical, mental, or social task. This frames a session of play as a sort of narrative obstacle course: the story consists of overcoming a series of well-defined obstacles in order to arrive at a particular goal. That might seem like a fairly banal observation, because that's how a lot of tabletop RPGs frame a session of play, but we need to make that explicit to contextualise the next step.
That next stop, of course, being the approaches.
One of the baseline assumptions of any tabletop RPG is that you're going to use it to tell the kinds of stories about which the rules have something to say – indeed, a tabletop RPG has to assume this, because if you're not telling the kind of story about which the rules have something to say, you're not playing the game!
To that end, a Lasers & Feelings hack is usually going to give you a pair of approaches to roll against, each consisting of a set of ways of conceptualising the obstacle in front of you. I'm not using the term "conceptualising" just to be fancy here; in Lasers & Feelings, the GM (if present) describes the obstacles, but it's on the player, not the GM, to decide "this is the kind of obstacle which can be overcome with [insert approach]", and nobody gets to tell them they're wrong.
Thus, a Lasers & Feelings hack assumes that the story of your game is going to consist of a series of obstacles (see above) which can usefully be conceptualised using at least one of the game's two approaches. A game where your approaches are "the power of friendship" and "the power of unimaginable violence", for example, probably isn't one that you'd want to use to play out a scenario inspired by Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, because those approaches aren't useful ways of conceptualising the kinds of obstacles such a story is likely to present – and if you used it anyway, the story would rapidly stop being a Pride and Prejudice pastiche.
All that in mind, it might be more accurate to state that Lasers & Feelings as a framework presents meta-expectations; the framework provides a set of mechanisms for a particular hack's chosen approaches to direct play, but you have to look at what that hack's chosen approaches actually are to pin down what that direction is.
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msbluebell · 1 year ago
Text
How We Fall For People Like James Somerton
We're all joking, but this James Somerton thing has me really fucked up.
I wasn't a huge fan of James. I saw a few of his videos and liked them. In the ones I saw he was calm and explained things straightforwardly and even the one or two times he said things against white women...well, that's language I've been seeing on Tumblr since I joined back in my tweenage years. I thought it was just a dismissive joke pointing out a frank reality.
I didn't watch him too much. Just a few videos. I kept meaning to watch more, but I didn't because sometimes I wanted something easier. But I regarded him sell because of how informed he seemed.
And that's the thing, isn't it? He SEEMED informed. He spoke confidently and sometimes quoted queer sounding articles and I trusted him blindly. And why? Because he was giving me information that SEEMED well researched.
Illumanaughtii too. I WAS a consistent fan of hers before other youtubers came out. Because she presented information really well and I like hand drawn characters and because she read academic sounding quotes. I trusted her and her information was stollen. And I feel like a fool for ever having trusted her now, but at least her stollen facts were apparently accurate. Maybe.
James though, he straight up lied. Todd in the Shadows went through a lot of effort to expose those lies. He did so much research that I didn't bother to do. And he admitted he only did it because he happened to know people more informed than him that noticed the lies and went down a rabbit hole.
And maybe if I was more involved I would have noticed. But that's beside the point. what's getting me is I didn't bother to check myself, I just blindly trusted.
And the worst part is I can see why it happened.
I work.
I work, and then I get home, and when I get home I stress. I stress about work I have to do tomorrow, or classes, or finding a new job that actually pays a livable wage. And to escape that stress I go online to AO3, or tumblr, but especially Youtube.
Because I like youtube, I like to have noise in the background while I work. I like to listen to things while I read. And some of the time it's ASMR videos, or watching someone cook something. But mostly? It's history things or video essays.
And when I'm working, or reading, I'll hear a fact, and I'll look up, and I'll think "Huh, that's interesting to know, I didn't know that." And I won't think anything about it.
Because I'm busy, or I'm tired. I'm tired from work, and I don't want to do more work. Or sometimes it's mental health. This is my coping mechanism. I'm trying to learn things, do something to distract myself. I'm not looking to disprove things.
In other words I'm lazy. Or, if I'm being kind to myself, I'm tired.
Maybe if the topic was something I was an expert in I would have noticed. I'm a former ballerina, I'm a failed history major dropout. Maybe if he'd said something like "Holodomor never happened" or "Boudica is a Finnish folk hero" I'd have noticed. Maybe.
But he didn't, and I didn't notice. I assumed he did the work, and why?
Because surely a gay man wouldn't spend hours on youtube talking about Queer history if he wasn't passionate. Because he, a queer man, would surely know about queer history. Surely he wouldn't want to spread lies and hate. And he's quoting from books and articles so why wouldn't I trust him?
My trust was blind and unfounded.
And now I'm reeling from that. I'm reeling because I'm starting to feel like I can't trust a lot of people. How can I listen to any Youtuber casually now?
I can't, I never should have assumed I could.
Now every informative video feels like I need to do tens of hours of research just to be sure what I'm hearing is true. I feel like I can't trust anything unless I do.
James Somerton took my trust.
And it's not only that either. That's not what scares me the most. It's that there are THOUSANDS of people like me. Millions like me. Who are learning something from a video or a tweet or a tumblr post from someone they assume is an expert and are blindly trusting because they assume they can trust it. They don't intend to do their own research because they're tired, or don't know how. And that scars me. I was a history major, I studied tyrants and misinformation and the rise of propaganda, and I, with all my tools to notice, was still blind.
You cannot blindly trust a video, you cannot blindly trust a tweet, you especially cannot blindly trust a tumblr post.
YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPOGANDA
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samoankpoper21 · 4 months ago
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JJK Men as Passenger Princesses
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IMAGE CTTO!!
Summary: Their car is in the shop and have no means of getting around until you offer to be their personal uber driver for the day. It strikes them that they've never seen you behind the wheel before, always opting to pick you up. What kind of chaos will ensue?
A/N: In California there's an unspoken rule where a yellow light translates to green 🤣 Don't ask me why 🤣 Also I do not condone/endorse speeding or reckless driving but my dad swears I am a reckless driver 🥲 As always the reader is a chubby!/POC! reader~! Enjoy~!!
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Gojo Satoru: "Haaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiii babe," leaning over he pecks your cheek, rubbing his hands up and down the length of his thighs. He's giddy with anticipation: this is the first time he's ever seen you drive! "Got your seatbelt on?"
"Of course." Putting the car in drive you slowly peel away from his apartment complex easing into traffic as conversation ebbed and flowed like water. He hadn't realized how relaxed he was until you put your hand on his thigh smirking. Jokingly he peels your hand away from his thigh throwing it back to you. "Excuse me! I am not some hussy where you can easily put your hands where your please."
"Breh really?"
"Don't 'breh' me. I am a princess today." Giggling you ask, "Well princess what do you feel like eating? I'm starving."
"I don't know you pick."
"No because every time I pick you disagree with it so where do you want to eat?"
"Are YOU part of the menu?"
"I meant food babe sheesh."
"I can't help it if you're sitting there looking like the finest chocolate pudding I've ever seen."
"Ew what," you giggle. "We're going to In-N-Out that's final." With Target being the last stop you pull into his parking spot where Satoru was going to instruct you to pull in but you surprised him when you put the gear in reverse, one hand on the back of his headrest, the other on the wheel reversing perfectly into the designated area. Putting the car in park you look at him scowling and say, "Alright baby let's-"
"Who the fuck are you fucking besides me?"
"Excuse me?!"
"How did you learn how to reverse perfectly like that? Is it Nanami? He's the only one I know who reverses like that?"
"Breh really?" 🤦🏽‍♀️
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Kento Nanami: Nervous was the last adjective he would use to describe the nerves that were running through him at the moment. Anxious? Most accurate. He has never once been a passenger, always opting to give you the princess treatment regardless of his fatigue. "Come oooonnnn Nanamiiiiiiiii let me do this for you. It's the least I can do since you're always driving us around." Sighing in defeat he reluctantly agreed leading him to his current predicament; you zooming on the freeway as he gripped your door handle. Glancing over he watched your right hand on the wheel, the left propped up on the window sill holding your tilted head when it dawned on him that you were unaware of how fast you were actually going. This is how she normally drives?? Would he describe you as reckless? Slightly. No regards to anyone's life except your one? Leaning toward it. "Darling," he hisses out through gritted teeth.
"Yeah?"
"You do realize the speed limit is 65 right?"
"Yeah why?" Looking to your speedometer you gasp out, "Oh shit!" you were pulling 90 and not a cop car in sight. You sheepishly glance in his direction and say, "At least we didn't get pulled over."
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Geto Suguru: Having the music low enough as to not disturb Nanako and Mimiko you and Suguru chatted quietly about all types of random topics. Being stuck in traffic always brought out the worst in every human and today was no exception. Bumper to bumper there was finally a break as the line of cars started flowing. "Finally." you huff out. As you pressed on the gas to accelerate a bit more a car cut in front of you jumping to the next lane over making you stomp on your brakes. "Mother-!"
"Babe the girls."
"That doesn't give him the right to drive like a maniac!"
"I'm just glad that we're all safe." At the top of your lungs you yell out while pointing at them, "You're lucky I have my kids in the car with me!"
"Babe the windows are rolled up." 🤦🏽‍♀️
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Choso: "Babe is it alright if the kids come along?"
"Yuji, Megs, and Nobara?"
"Yes, they won't stop hounding me about watching you drive."
"Y'all need to chill" you laugh out speaking into the steering wheel. "Y'all make it seem like me driving is on the same level of the Mona Lisa."
"Well it kinda is."
"And who's fault is that? Every time I offer to meet you at whatever location you refuse saying and I quote, 'You're a princess and deserve to be treated like one.'"
"But you are."
"Cho," you squeal. "That's beside the point." Chuckling you couldn't help but blush at the deep timbre of his voice. "Well get the kids ready. I'm 5 minutes out."
"Ok. See you in a bit. Be safe."
"Always."
Pulling in front of the Itaodri house you found a lone, pale figure with a scar spreckled across his cheek surrounded by 2 overhype teens, one silently judging them. Rolling your window down youyell out, "Uber for Choso and co?"
"Here, here, here!" Yuji yells back. Parking the car you unlock the doors telling them to squeeze in the back, Choso sliding in beside you kissing your cheek. "Hi babe." the baritone in his voice making you internally shiver.
"Hi handsome. So where we off to?"
"Groceries, game stop for Megs, Target for Nobara, and maybe a gym store. Yuji wants some boxing gloves."
"Okay. But y'all better not judge me." Rolling her eyes Nobara asks, "Why would we judge you?" Offering her a sheepish grin while eyeing her in the rear view you answer, "I play my music real loud, sometimes have my own concerts and it's on shuffle." Dismissing your answer with a wave of her hand she retorts, "Please. Your shuffle can't be that bad."
"I listen to everything."
"Said by everyone." The drive to Target was approximately 20 minutes; within those 20 minutes your passengers went through a range of emotions: ready to fight (Set It Off - Lil Kayla), paying tribute to a late grandmother (Helena), felt like they were part of a rave (rampage), lost in translation twice (SKZ and a Samoan song), rapped along to Ice Cube, and finally belting out Keyshia Cole's Love. Parking the car you shut it off taking in your passengers. "Wow," Nobara breaks the silence. "You really do listen to everything." Laughing you look to Choso who quietly says, "You should sing to me more often."
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Toji Fushiguro: "You're not gonna make it."
"Oh so you're doubting me now?"
"Look doll I've been driving longer than you have."
"Longer driving experience doesn't equate to greatness." You were doing 50MPH in a 35MPH trying to get to the green light before it turns yellow. The problem? You would need to make a wide left turn to continue about your ways. Stomping your foot on the gas the light turned yellow. "Y/N!" Toji hissed. Smirking you crossed the thresh hold while the light remained yellow; easing a bit you flicked the steering wheel to the left lifting off the throttle making the car careen smoothly into the lane. Quickly and simultaneously releasing the throttle and straightening the angle of your wheel you continued smooth sailing. A beat of silence passed before Toji huffed out, "That. was. FUCKING AWESOME! Where did you learn that babe?"
"Fuck you dawg you thought I wouldn't make it."
"Fuck babe that just turned me on so bad." Giggling you flick your head ahead. "There's an abandoned alleyway straight ahead. You can put that doubtful mouth to use."
"Yes ma'am."
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Ryomen Sukuna: 3PM - 5PM on a weekday is practically the cursed time for anyone operating a vehicle: school buses fill the roads, drivers are trying to maneuver around other cars by any means necessary, taking short cuts or trying to wedge themselves into cramped spaces, horns blaring. Offering to take Sukuna to run his errands you now found yourself stuck bumper to bumper with rapper Mozzy playing in the background. You pressed on the gas inching forward a little when a tan colored mini coup cut you off, making you slam on your brakes and begin to fervently press your horn. Rolling down your window you yell out, "Don't know how to fucking signal asshole?! Use your fucking eyes next time!" You swerve into the left lane where you manage to pass the mini coup flipping the driver off in the process. Stunned Sukuna bellows out, "Remind me to never drive in front of you."
"Oh so you were thinking 'bout leaving huh? Because if you are I swear to god I will drive this car into incoming traffic and we both gon' be goners, how 'bout that?"
"Jesus chirst woman where did you even get that logic?! You're insane!"
"Okay and? You love my insane ass." Smirking he clasps your thigh squeezing it in agreement. "Damn straight I do."
©ALL WORKS BELONG TO SAMOANKPOPER21; ANY INFRINGEMENT OR PLAGIARISM WILL BE REPORTED!! DO NOT STEAL MY WORK!!
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meanbossart · 18 days ago
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Ask compilation: DU drow, Orin, Astarion, lore things and little fun facts.
Trying to make a dent in this dang inbox. As always, thank you so much everyone for your patience and curiosity! Sorry that it is straight up no longer possible for me to reply to everyone, but I will keep doing my best within reason. Enjoy!
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Absolutely! I had a lot of requests for bottom Astarion on my patreon which is why I was kind of on a roll there for a minute.
Though, for the record - I am really not very invested in strict bedroom roles at all. Or clear and distinct dominant/submissive dynamics. So please don't overthink it whenever there's a switch, no pun intended.
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You wanna know how often they smash? Man, I don't know, I guess fairly often considering their lifestyle post-game (very active, often on the road).
Assuming that everyone agrees that sex doesn't have to involve penetration, I'd say once every other day or less, really depends on the circumstances though. DU drow's libido is much higher than Astarion's, but he's not an animal and can hold off fine. Astarion is likely to be pickier in regards to location and how-recently-have-we-bathed status as well.
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I keep meaning to draw him, but I have like... A million things I want to do 😂 so its rough!
BUT you will at least continue to see him in ANE! And I'm sure i'm bound to draw him again in the future.
[MORE UNDER THE CUT]
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If you mean in his bhaalist "AU", where he has the red robe and the extra scars, I imagine he would have gotten it through killing Isobel.
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I think as a changeling she probably has the ability to just... Transform her hair however she likes at will, right? And based on her attitude plus some lines we get from Sceleritas about her own former-butler, it sounds like she would be really opposed to being serviced in that way, to me at least.
I see her as pretty aggressively independent with the way she operates, which is another factor that sets her apart from DU drow, who really enjoyed lording over the other Bhaalists and making an errand boy out of Sceleritas, to the point where he practically depended on their help to function.
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Neither! I wasn't willing to let anyone take either of my eyes in my first playthrough, LOL.
I have since always given the Volo eye to SOMEONE, usually Gale, but I don't consider that canonical. I don't think anyone was desperate enough to let mister frumpy-hat over there ice-pick their eyes out.
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He did do them himself. It was a profoundly stupid display he got caught up in because of Gortash. Also, de-handment is kind of a theme in his life, at least inside his head.
I have a comic about it planned for the future ;)
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What do you mean, that's canonical to the game and everything! He loves the cuck chair!
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He is an angsty 29-year old in denial. Your interpretation is still perfectly accurate.
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Hates the guy. Hates when Shadowheart Astarion people joke about him being the Drizzt of his generation. Hates the guy like literally any countercultural weirdo hates Taylor Swift or the Weeknd. If he saw him at the line in the grocery store DU drow would find a way to roll his eyes loudly just so he could notice being an asshole.
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Stay tuned, I'm cooking 🧑‍🍳
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If you're asking about game strats, badly, LOL. Pretty sure I died twice to her in my first run and it was a rough way of being thrown into "serious" DnD combat.
With the exception of a couple of encounters that just so happened to turn out SURPRISINGLY cinematic, I'm just realizing that I actually don't think too often about how most of the fights went in real-time! I imagine Autie Ethel's in particular wasn't one that DU drow went into of his own accord, probably rather at a companion's insistence. That's as deep as I've thought about that personally.
Now... Back to game strats. I personally try to get a surprise round on her however I can by sneaking and shooting an arrow or AOE in her general location, since she always stands on roughly the same spot while invisible. I have my companions spread about the arena so we can take her clones down as fast as possible, and as soon as I identify who the real Ethel is I just have the strongest martial characters wail on her until she begs to be let go. Hers is one of the few fights that is actually pretty dang easy at this point for me - and I SUCK at this game.
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That would certainly take a while! But, Bhaalist DU drow does kind of have an end goal, actually.
That might also turn into a comic eventually, but it would a rough one.
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He pretty swiftly disposed of her, DU drow doesn't like being talked down to, which Minthara very promptly does. Him (and I, by extension) had very limited exposure to her and she was just kind of a speck of dust in his story in particular. Though I have since grown to adore her character in my proceeding runs where I do recruit her!
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I guess if he got an invitation and it wasn't particularly painful to arrive at the venue, sure! He would specially love to take Astarion to Gale's wedding ceremony and purposely upstage him at every at every opportunity, LOL.
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Yes. He got pretty freaky with the pain-priest. This is gonna sound like a lie but I made him get naked for it without even knowing there was a buff to be gained (I didn't get it, unfortunately, I don't remember whether I failed a check or if I had camp clothes toggled on, so it didn't count as being truly nude). I wasn't taking the game very seriously and just doing dumb roleplay things to see what would happen, LOL.
And I consider that canonical. I think DU drow saw the opportunity to show off his physique And had a strange inkling that this was a practice he was... Somehow familiar with.
Imagine my joy when Astarion and Shadowheart start having a back-and-forth about my absurd display. That's when i knew those were my people, to be honest.
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queerfables · 1 year ago
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Alright GO fans, let's talk Sodom and Gomorrah. This biblical story comes up a few times in Good Omens canon, a kind of offhand mention each time, and the most interesting part to me is the implication that Aziraphale was there.
If you only know the cliff-notes version, you've probably heard it as the story of God condemning homosexuality to the point of wiping out several cities over it. Maybe you've heard this too, but - that's not exactly what happened. Look, I'm an atheist, I have no dog in this race. If I thought it was about smiting people for homosexuality, I'd be happy to call God a wanker and move on. But I've read the story of Sodom and Gomorrah (You can too! It's very short!) and I've read other parts of the Bible that reference it, and I think a much more straightforward interpretation is that it's about offering hospitality and protection to strangers. It's also about the consequences of wanton cruelty, and God laying waste to those deemed beyond salvation.
In Good Omens, the book, Aziraphale and Crowley discuss Sodom and Gomorrah this way:
"Come off it. Your lot get ineffable mercy," said Crowley sourly.
"Yes? Did you ever visit Gomorrah?"
"Sure," said the demon. "There was this great little tavern where you could get these terrific fermented date-palm cocktails with nutmeg and crushed lemongrass-"
"I meant afterwards."
"Oh."
According to the book, then, Aziraphale at least saw the city after it was destroyed. Maybe Crowley saw the aftermath too or maybe he just heard about it. They both understand it as horrific.
The show is more direct, and suggests that Aziraphale was there during the actual destruction. Gabriel asks if Aziraphale remembers Sandalphon. Aziraphale does.
"Sodom and Gomorrah. You were doing a lot of smiting and turning people into salt. Hard to forget."
Aziraphale regards Sandalphon warily during the conversation. I believe we're supposed to interpret this scene based on the popular understanding of Sodom and Gomorrah as cities that God wiped out because of the inhabitants' sins. The obvious implication, then, is that Sandalphon is the heavy, the one called in to deal with disobedience. He's trigger-happy, relishes violence, and Aziraphale has seen what he's capable of. From the careful way Aziraphale discusses their prior acquaintance, I think he feels the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah was a tragedy and believes Heaven's actions were disproportionate and unjust.
I'm confident this is how we're supposed to read the scene. In the context of the story, we're supposed to understand that Aziraphale doesn't approve of the smiting, and that he feels threatened by Gabriel and Sandalphon coming into his bookshop and pressing him about Armageddon. But I'm fascinated by what it would mean if Aziraphale and Sandalphon's history really tracks onto the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Because if Good Omens' version of Sodom and Gomorrah is at all biblically accurate, and if Aziraphale was there... it's kind of mind-blowing, actually, that he still feels so much compassion for the people who died and still thinks Sandalphon was wrong.
I'm going to explain why, but fair warning, it gets ugly. I promise nobody is actually raped, and I think that promise in itself says plenty.
According to the Bible, Sodom and its surrounding cities are accused of being overrun with sin. God sends two angels to Sodom to verify this, intending to destroy everything if they find it to be true. In the world of Good Omens, I think one of these angels must be Aziraphale. The other one is likely Sandalphon, but in the Bible it's God rather than either of the angels who rains down burning sulfur on the cities so it's possible it's someone else, and Sandalphon is only on smiting duty. Without anything else to go on, though, let's assume it's Sandalphon.
So our two angels arrive at Sodom in the evening, and at the gate to the city, they meet Lot. Lot is an immigrant who has made his home in Sodom, and I think the implication is that this is why he's not completely steeped in sin like everyone else. In any case, he immediately offers to put the angels up for the night, and although they'd planned to stay in the square, Lot is really insistent. He is a good host! Also, he knows the city is dangerous. So the angels go to his house and he makes dinner for them, and then before they can go to bed, a mob shows up at the door.
See, the men of Sodom have heard about the strangers staying with Lot. They surround his house and demand he hand them over. The New King James Version puts it this way: And they called to Lot and said to him, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may know them carnally." Several other translations say that the men wanted to "have sex with them". But I mean. It's a fucking mob. They've surrounded the house. We all get what this is, right?
So Lot goes out to meet the men, and he says "Don't do this terrible thing." Off to a good start! Then he says, "Tell you what, I have two virgin daughters. Do what you like to them and we'll say no more about it." Oh boy. Dad of the year award, right there. But still, he insists, "The angels are under my roof and my protection."
The men outside Lot's house are pissed. They say, "You're an outsider, who are you to judge us?" They threaten to do worse to him than to the angels. They swarm him and almost break the door down, but the angels pull him back inside.
The angels then strike the mob with blindness to stop them getting into the house. They say to Lot, "Look, you gotta take your family and get out of here. God sent us to see how bad things were and, uh, long story short, we're burning it all to the ground. You get it, right?"
Maybe you know the rest. Lot's son-in-laws don't believe him and won't leave the city. Lot's wife looks back and turns into a pillar of salt. Lot and his daughters take shelter in a small town called Zoar, and from there flee to the mountains. Everything else is destroyed.
It is a tragedy. The plains are leveled down to ash, until there's nothing left that can even grow. Was there really no one innocent in those cities? No children or animals? (You can't kill kids). Still, I think about that awful night under Lot's roof and I don't think I could blame anyone for giving up on all of it.
So what if that's the story? There were two angels in Sodom before it fell. What if it really was Aziraphale and Sandalphon, trapped through the night in a stranger's house, surrounded by men who want to rape them. Whatever their power as angels, that has to be terrifying.
If it was Sandalphon there with Aziraphale that night in Sodom, I have to wonder what he was like. There isn't any kinship or understanding from Aziraphale. Despite knowing the circumstances better than anyone, he still sees Sandalphon as a threat. Given that, I think Sandalphon must have taken a truly disturbing kind of joy in raining down vengeful fire and brimstone, beyond what you might expect from someone who was afraid or angry. Maybe he was never afraid; maybe instead he revelled in the violence building through the night as the reason he needed to tear everything down. Maybe he was afraid in the terrible way that exposes the depths someone will sink to to protect themselves (maybe offering his daughters was never Lot's idea). Or maybe Aziraphale just tried to reach out to him afterwards, to offer understanding and ask for some in return, and Sandalphon shot him down so coldly and viciously that Aziraphale knew immediately this wasn't something he was allowed to have feelings about. Whatever happened that night, it left Aziraphale feeling more of an outsider from Heaven than ever.
But if it happened that way, it happened this way too: Aziraphale survives a night like that, and when he looks out into the breaking dawn, he thinks, these cities don't deserve to burn. He sees the good in a place that's just shown him its absolute worst. I think that says everything about him as a character, actually. Of course he won't give up on Heaven. Of course he'll fight tooth and nail for his home on Earth. Whatever the worst is, there are still things worth saving. There are still, always, people worth protecting.
On that note, before I wrap this up, I want to go back to Lot's words to the men of Sodom, and draw a parallel that makes me feel some kind of way. Because when Lot declares the angels under his protection, what he says is essentially, "Do not do anything to these men, for they have come under the shadow of my roof for protection." And all I can think about, reading these lines, is Aziraphale standing in his bookshop as it's surrounded by hostile demons, and telling the angel under the shadow of his roof, "You came to me. I said I would protect you. And I will."
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blueteller · 5 months ago
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The Stages of Choi Han
So I decided to think over and analyze the progress of the relationship between Cale and Choi Han.
While we do occasionally get some Choi Han's POV, most of the story is still from either Cale's or general point of view, so we don't see his exact step-by-step thought process on what his views were regarding Cale.
So, here's my thoughts on what was going on inside Choi Han's head as the story went:
Stage 1: Confusion
Choi Han must have been pretty confused when he first met Cale. Still in major turmoil after the Harris Village massacre, here comes this drunk rich guy along, who offers him food and shelter for the night. Why? Random act of kindness? Something else? And things remain confusing the next day as well. Choi Han gets to wash up and rest a bit after his traumatic experience, giving him better clarity of thought, but definitely no better understanding of Cale, who apparently doesn't even want Choi Han to pay him back. Not to mention this creepy strong assassin butler he has and his son the chef... I picture Choi Han having three big bold question marks in his head at this point.
Stage 2: Respect
Things change after the interview. While Cale and the people surrounding him are confusing, the way he speaks to Choi Han make two things clear: one, Cale is a smart man. Two, Cale has a lot going on, but it doesn't seem to be anything sinister. The general vibe Cale is giving off at this moment is "possibly sketchy, yet mysterious and wise". He strikes right into the core of Choi Han's insecurity and helps him gather his resolve: he wants to avenge Harris Village, but he also wishes to protect. At this point, Choi Han switches from confusion to intrigue.
Stage 3: Loyalty
Cale has no idea when it happens, but it is clear: after they rescue Raon, Choi Han is definitely having thoughts about staying with Cale for good. Not only did Cale prove to him that he was a good person by helping a young creature escape a terrible fate for seemingly no reason... Cale also showcased just how thoughtful and competent he is. He is not only smart and knowledgeable, he is also a skilled leader. Even if Choi Han still has any left-over doubts, his question of "what will you do if the Dragon decides to follow you, Cale-nim?" makes it apparent; he's 100% talking about himself. At this point, he'd definitely be willing to follow Cale on a permanent basis as his knight.
Stage 4: Trust
So Choi Han already respects Cale, and has begun cultivating loyalty towards him during the trip to the capital. After they part ways, Choi Han follows Cale's instructions about finding Rosalyn and Lock. During this time unexpected issues arise, but Cale's information remained consistently useful and accurate. Choi Han also meets the "Secret Organization" again, confirming that following path set by Cale allowed him to find out more about Arm than he could manage by himself. He quickly grows attached to Rosalyn and Lock, faster than in "The Birth of a Hero", because through Cale's endorsement he isn't nearly as distrusting. And when Lock seems sick, Choi Han's first instinct is to go straight to Cale for help. And that trust gets rewarded. Then it becomes reinforced once again by the Vow of Death. Cale got upgraded from "sketchy but wise" to "definitely a good person with a lot of secrets".
Stage 5: Protectiveness
Choi Han was definitely protective before, but it got cranked up to 11 after the Plaza Terror Incident. Cale reinforces all previous impressions of respect, loyalty and trust through handling the attack almost flawlessly - except at the very end, Cale gets hurt for the very first time. Choi Han is furious. He threatens the guards to let him pass, showing how his number one priority is officially, Cale himself. His quest to avenge Harris Village still matters, of course, but Cale already swore an oath that he would help Choi Han with it (at least that's what Choi Han believes), so that's a non-issue. From now on, Choi Han's first, second and third priority is keeping Cale safe.
Stage 6: Familiarity
After the plaza, Choi Han heads off with Rosalyn and Lock to the Breck Kingdom. But while the bonds of friendship grow stronger between them, Choi Han still has every intention of returning straight to Cale after they're done. Cale isn't just a priority; he's home, the place Choi Han feels safest at. The way Cale treats him when the trio comes back proves to Choi Han that the feeling was not unfounded; in his absence, Cale helped rebuild Harris and made it home for Lock's siblings. As the next few months of "general relaxation" pass, Choi Han only settles more in his conviction. Everything he has now is thanks to Cale, who is a good person, trustworthy leader, and a good friend overall. Choi Han's feelings are no longer distant respect of an employee, and now he sees Cale as his new family.
Stage 7: Conviction
This stage is a little tricky. While Choi Han's feeling don't quite change through the next 2 years, they definitely grow in strength and intensity. Multiple instances of Cale getting hurt, as well as Choi Han witnessing the true extent of his recklessness, make him devote himself entirely to Cale and his cause. While fighting Clopeh, Choi Han expresses his determination to "create path for the real legend". Because Cale isn't just family: Cale is special. He is someone worthy of highest admiration in Choi Han's eyes. It's not fanatical obsession, not like Clopeh's later on, but something deep and profound that grows stronger with every single battle. The ultimate proof of it is Choi Han changing his attribute while Cale watches from the sidelines. Choi Han's goal itself now, is Cale's success. That is his conviction.
Stage 8: Understanding
Choi Han finally finds out the truth about Cale's transmigration thanks to the memories from Choi Jung Soo, sent by the God of Death. And while none of it fundamentally changes what Choi Han believes about Cale... it does give him a bit of a broader perspective on who Cale really is. Before, there was a lot of mystery regarding the extent of his knowledge, but Choi Han was fine with being kept in the dark. Now, enlightened about some of the mysteries surrounding Cale... Choi Han's conviction to help Cale succeed becomes stronger. Cale isn't just a person he chose to follow; they're actually countrymen, connected by his nephew. It deepens the bond they have, and from then on, Choi Han feels less like a follower of Cale, and more of a peer. They're truly friends, going on this journey side by side.
So there you go. The 8 stages of Choi Han's friendship with Cale.
Confusion
Respect
Loyalty
Trust
Protectiveness
Familiarity
Conviction
Understanding
I really love how their relationship plays out. Cale has many great relationships in the series, but there's something truly special about these two. No matter their differences or misunderstandings, they can relate to each other like no one else can. The mutual care and respect they have for one another is heartwarming. After all they lost, now they have someone who they can trust with their back. A real ride-or-die type of deal.
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flawseer · 4 months ago
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Mail Call #1
Responding to messages from @iusedtobemenowimnot @salveofthesandwonks @jrbfrkjbgfk @asleepinglaurel @ironnokana97b @kittykatchao
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Link to post in question
I am very happy that you enjoy my content, thank you. The "Pantaloons" was actually not a typo or auto-correct though. Pantala is just a very funny and corruptible name.
Other candidates for least accurate way to refer to the place would be "Pancake Town", "Pantyhose", and "Pantlion" (if any folks over there like to bury themselves in the sand).
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Mike Holmes' WoF style is very cozy and relaxing to work with. I'm not getting it exactly right, but then again the deviations and imperfections are what add variety.
It also happens that I read the comics before I went into the books, so the style kind of stuck with me. The dragons in the story are very expressive and animated, so a relatively cartoony and fluid style suits them. At least that's what I think.
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I have not drawn Whiteout yet, but I am interested in doing so. If I ever get around to continuing my 3000 AS series of drawings, she will be in it, likely grouped with Darkstalker, Prince Arctic, and Foeslayer.
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This might be a bit of a cop-out answer, but the best way I can think of to get into a style is to look at a lot of references. The comics are full of good material in that regard. Look for panels of dragons in flight, or standing around, get a feel for the shapes their bodies are constructed from, etc.. Identify the quirks of that style, then try to incorporate them into your drawing process.
That's my very general advice. I don't know how helpful or applicable it is. For something more detailed I might need a more specific question.
I have to stress though--and listen closely because I can only say it this one time: One thing that is absolutely, imperatively, critically important to keep in mind is--
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jingerpi · 5 days ago
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[do not use this as justification for sexist bigotry, this is a personal thought relating to the investigation of ideas and not a statement meant to be derisive towards feminist theories.]
disclaimer out of the way, I've been thinking about transmisogyny a lot lately and it's really interesting to consider the nuances of. I think a lot of the objections to transfeminist theory simply come from sexism, but there is one point of potential critique that I think warrants further inquiry. to get at this we have to first clarify something else though.
the distinction of tme/tma might sound like an issue to a lot of transmisogynists, but most of their objections die away as soon as you clarify it's not "never ever experiences transmisogyny" and is perhaps more accurately "trans misogyny exemptable" as this gets at the reality of trans women facing transmisogyny regardless of what we do, there is no way out, we are the intended targets. other people face transmisogyny as a sort of warning, a clarifying statement that "if you are transfeminine we will Other you" and they're able to exempt themselves from this in most situations by clarifying "I am not a trans woman" regardless of the particular form that takes.
not everyone is able to exempt themselves from all gender related bigotry though. you cannot, for example, make this distinction (of not being transfem) to escape intersexism, which is why many intersex repeatedly experience gender based oppression and cannot opt out of it. this is oppression is fundamentally not an result of transmisogyny, it is a result of intersexism.
with that clarification out of the way, I think there is an understandable critique regards the simplification that
"men have power over women" <- correct, easily verifiable, almost everybody agrees. "Black men have power of Black women" <- still correct and non controversial (at least in feminist spaces). then you go to "trans men have power over trans women" and everybody freaks out, yeah? like people start to object to this understanding suddenly, even though we've only changed 1 thing, which we've changed before and nobody found issue with it in those other areas. many of these objections come transmisogyny, but I don't think it actually tells the whole story to write all of this off as transmisogyny.
I think why we run into an issue with this understanding (again, critique, not refutation) is that trans people's gender is often, perhaps even usually in flux. the statement "men have power over women" is trivially true, and is a statement on gender and misogyny. this comparison can be brought to trans men and trans women, but it's not without nuance, as the most basic information we can get from this is applied to gender, something which is often actively shifting for trans people.
the reason is don't see this as some kind of disproof of transmisogyny or something should be clear though, for two reasons (aside from the obvious statement towards trends rather than specific instances)
1. transmisogyny is fundamentally not the same thing as misogyny at large, and
2. though trans-gender is often shifting, we can use the prior distinction of exemptable and intended targets to largely do away with this problem.
despite the framework of misogyny not applying 1-1 onto trans people (many who identify as trans men have 'correctly' experienced misogyny), we can still see how it is useful to look at the intersection of misogyny and transphobia. While yes, trans men often experience both of these things, it is often not simultaneously like it is for trans women. As trans women transition our closeness to womanhood tends to increase so as our experiences of transphobia increase, so too do our experiences of misogyny- where as the opposite goes for trans men. it's not that one can't be sexist and transphobic to a trans man, they're not transmisogyny exempt in some metaphysical sense, but rather that for trans women our transness and our womanhood have a positive correlation, our transness and our womanhood are inseparable, we cannot denounce one by leaning on the other.
on the contrary, while trans men will still face transphobia and sexism which denies the validity of their transness and treats them with misogyny, as they transition their relationship begins to more closely match that of men, because of course they are men, this leads to them being able to escape transmisogyny not by being part of some magically 100% transmisogyny excluded class, but because they have the ability to meaningfully denounce trans feminity, to put down womanhood and to become "one of the guys", it's conditional, yes, but often the conditions are not to "pass" in the traditional sense but rather to express views aligning with the patriarchy and derision of feminity, i.e, misogyny.
I think we can see this in the popular responses to tme/tma discourse within the trans community: many trans men correctly recognize what is happening and stand in solidarity, transmisogyny is a genuine problem and it makes sense to talk about the intersection between misogyny and transphobia, trans men even experience both at times, so it is a good idea to stand against. Then, some men begin to talk about their experiences with denial of who they are and the misogyny that can come with that. This too is rather sensible, though it doesn't somehow counteract or disprove transmisogyny generally, it can be studied and acknowledge much in the same way we understand cis men are tested with transmisogyny to enforce what others call "toxic masculinity", despite them not being transfeminine. Then we have a third and wildly popular group, who appropriate the struggles of the second group, where co-option occurs by men who buy into or express sexist ideas for the sake of more fully exempting themselves from transmisogyny. Along with this, instead of recognizing the basis for transmisogyny as intersecting gender based oppression, because doing so would show their fleeting relationship to it, they redefine it as being intersection of two metaphysical identities generally, and thus "transandrophobia" is born, posed as being on an equal to transmisogyny, after all, they're both born from intersecting identities are they not?
of course, we know Androphobia is not something which actually exists, nor is Misandry - these arent axis' of oppression, and they largely know this too, but their goal is to obfuscate the ways in which marginalized men still benefit from their manhood. it takes what I think can be a rather genuine expression that trans men experience both transphobia and misogyny, and instead of grappling with the ways they can societally put down others to gain exemption from transmisogyny, the way their relationship to it is transient, they instead cling to it and invent new terms or fall on old bigoted talking points to justify doing so. "transandrophobia" yes, but also "sex based oppression" and "male/female socialization" these terms and rhetoric are regularly used against transfeminists by these trans men who have exempted themselves from transmisogyny, who have sided with patriarchy over their trans sisters, instead allying with the general terf movement at large and often implicitly misgendering themselves in the process.
and just to be clear, not exempting yourself doesn't mean you will experience the brunt of transmisogyny or to the same degree trans women do - you may be called slurs by bigots, may be harassed in given instances, or sometimes worse, but the systemic forces of transmisogyny go far deeper than negative interactions with individuals, and these transmisogynistic forces are again, aimed specifically at trans women. While I want to recognize the ways in which transmisogyny permeates all of society, do not see this and mistake it for support for the idea that everyone experiences it equally and their relationship is only changed by putting down transfemininity, it is and always has been about targeting transfemininity, the reason I clarify exemptable is due to society's constant enforcing of transmisogynistic ideas on everyone, even if the worst persecution is specifically and intentionally reserved for trans women
Lastly I want to say that these ideas are still developing and my understanding of them will likely change with time and discussion. I dont think these ideas are particularly new, they seem to underpin a lot of discussion on these topics, but this is my attempt to bring them from an implicit unspoken agreement into a more firmly expressed position. Doing so is necessarily going to expose flaws and I see that as a good thing, as doing so is required to elevate understanding of these theories to a higher level. Some of these flaws will be with my expression and understanding, and I will work to correct those, but some will likely be with the ideass themselves and it will take time for them to develop. Please read in good faith, thank you.
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thefalloutwiki · 2 years ago
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Say hello to the new and independent Fallout Wiki!
Greetings to all of you lovely wastelanders, mutants and robots alike! We come bearing an important announcement, one which might even pique the curiosity of all you nosy prospectors out there.
We’d like to introduce you to the shiny and brand spanking new, Independent Fallout Wiki.
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Now, I know, you may be asking to yourself, “Wait, there’s already a Fallout Wiki out there! Why’s this one so dang special?” 
Well, if you’d bear with me for a moment, I’ll tell you why!
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What is the Independent Fallout Wiki?
Well, the Independent Fallout Wiki is just about as straightforward as it sounds! We all used to be members of another wiki dedicated to Fallout, which is hosted by a company that shall remain nameless. Now, if there’s one thing you should know about this company, it’s that they have very little regard for the community, introducing changes that no one likes, hosting tons of ads and even buying out wiki editors to work for them. We find this (among other things) to be antithetical to our beliefs. We feel that wikis should be in the hands of the community, not a company that refuses to listen to us!
This reached a breaking point earlier this year, along with some events out of our control, which led to the bright idea of forking into independence and starting a new wiki! A wiki that’s truly in the hands of the community. A wiki that is self-hosted and safe from harmful, corporate interests. We don’t have shareholders to please and we don’t answer to anyone. We don’t have ads and we don’t need them, hopefully ever. Content is created by fans, for fans
We are simply wanting to provide the most reliable and accurate source of all things Fallout. We’ve even broke bread with some of the other fantastic independent wikis out there, such as Doom Wiki and Combine Overwiki whom we recommend you check out too!
What kinds of new features are we offering?
We’re glad you asked! As well as offering a trove of accurate, well sourced content about the Fallout franchise (with strict guidelines to ensure the best possible content quality, as all wikis should), we’re offering a new Community space. This will be a place for the community to host all kinds of fan works, such as fanfiction, fan art, creations, roleplaying and tabletop games, pen and paper games, Fallout 76 player CAMPs and, much, much more.
As mentioned before, we have affiliated with many other independent wiki projects, including the Doom Wiki, Combine OverWiki, JoJo’s Bizarre Encyclopedia, StrategyWiki, Unofficial Elder Scrolls Pages, and even Halopedia! We’re also proud members of the Gaming Wiki Network, and soon, we’ll even be affiliated with NIWA, the Nintendo Independent Wiki Alliance. These affiliations will offer mutual aid and support that will help every wiki in the short-term and long-term. We are looking forward to working with them, for we all share the same goals!
How can we help and how can we be apart of the community?
We welcome anyone who wishes to join our community. It doesn’t matter if you’re an editor or reader. We are all fans of Fallout and we encourage you to join our community! If you are a non-editor and are only looking for information about something from the Fallout franchise, click this here link! https://fallout.wiki/wiki/Fallout_Wiki/
If you are interested in becoming an editor and want to fight the good fight to help rewrite content and smashing misinformation and head-canon, click this other here link! https://fallout.wiki/wiki/Special:UserLogin
While you’re there, check out our LGBTQ representation page. It was written by the lovely robot, C0NN1E here on Tumblr!: 
https://fallout.wiki/wiki/LGBTQ_representation_in_Fallout
We welcome all members of the LGBTQ+, MOGAI, GSRM, Plural and Otherkin communities with open arms!
Last, but not least, if you’d like to be apart of our wider social community, you can follow us here on Tumblr, on Twitter, check out our Instagram or join our Discord, right here below, right now! We even got a fresh, custom invite link!
https://discord.gg/falloutwiki
https://twitter.com/thefalloutwiki
https://www.instagram.com/thefalloutwiki/
Well, that about wraps up this little segment of ours. We hope you enjoy this project as much as we do. We put a lot of time, effort and care into it and we want to give back to the people that we love the most, the community. Have safe travels out there, and we hope to see you around!
END OF BROADCAST
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thrashkink-coven · 3 months ago
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Understanding how your brain works to better utilize it in witchcraft, spirituality or occultism
I apologize if this post is really long lol
The biggest challenge I run in to when trying to explain my “mystical” experiences with my deities and spirits is in accurately portraying the “abstractness” of the interaction. We all have a special concoction of brain soup going on in our heads. While one brain may communicate with itself very auditorily, as in, in sounds and voices, other brains may be more predisposed to imagery. The goal of some forms of occultism is conditioning both the subconscious and conscious brain into adapting into different forms of “thought”, communication with oneself.
Think about it this way, some people have an inner monologue, that is an actual audible “voice” that speaks to them, narrates written text, etc. This inner voice may or may not be omnipresent, it may or may not resemble your voice. It may change.
Likewise some people don’t think in sounds at all, their brain is more visual and produces images, videos, movie like sequences that you may or may not be able to mentally interact with. If you have aphantasia, you will not be able to do this.
If you can identify and understand how your brain works, how the hardware and program you are operating on functions, you can understand how to better use it to communicate with deities or to preform other methods of magic.
So here are some easy ways to get an idea of how your brain works in regards to communicating thoughts and information. If some of these things don’t make a lick of sense to you, you’ll know that it isn’t your jive and you’ll probably have more difficulty learning magical practices that utilize that function.
For Visual Imagery we’re going to be using the letter A - Visual imagery describes thoughts that are communicated through visual senses. This means any kind of imagery, including simple colors and shapes.
For audible/ sound based thought we are going to be using the letter B- Audible thoughts describe ideas that are communicated through auditory senses. This includes music, narration, and sounds of any kind.
For texture/sensation based thought we are going to be using the letter C- Texture and sensation based thoughts are ideas that activate the “feeling” part of the brain. These can be both pleasant or uncomfortable.
For transcribed thought we are going to be using the letter D- Transcribed thoughts are ideas which are communicated through written text, literal letters and sentences, or symbols, as if you were watching a movie with subtitles.
For “invisible” thoughts we are going to be using the letter E- Invisible thoughts are ideas that are almost instantly understood through the subconscious. They do not take time to process and usually go unnoticed. These are usually common sense observations. The part of your brain that processes “person” when you see a person, and “dog” when you see a dog. These thoughts are your most prevalent and least observed.
For memory based thoughts we are going to be using the letter F- Memory based thoughts are ideas that are conjured using information from passed experiences, needing no new stimuli or information to be formed. These thoughts can also include experiences that occurred in dreams. Common sense repetitive norms influence these thoughts.
Keep track of your points.
1. You probably already know the apple thing.
Can you picture an apple? what color is it? can you rotate it? which way is it rotating? clockwise or counterclockwise? upside down? does it have a stem? does the stem have a leaf on it? Where is the apple?
If you can easily picture and manipulate the apple, you have the capacity to understand mental imagery. That does not necessarily mean your brain is predisposed to it, only that you have the hardware to process it. Not everyone has this hardware.
If your apple was spinning in a black room with no other objects or environment around it, you may be more dominant in another field of thought with visual imagery as a supportive addition. You get 1 point for A
If you pictured an apple you saw recently, you get one full point for F.
If your apple was already in a room, on a table, in front of your real world environment right now, or in some other environment that was not necessarily conjured through memory, your brain likely uses visual imagery as a predominant method of communication. You get 2 points for A.
If you were able to understand the concept of an apple and all of the manipulations, but didn’t necessarily “see” anything, you get one point for E.
2. As you’ve been reading this post, assuming that you are not reading aloud, have you been hearing a “voice” narrating the text?
Does that voice sound like your voice when you speak aloud? Do you take the time to pronounce every word as you read mentally? Do you pay attention to every letter individually, or do you look at the words as contained objects?
If you have an inner narrative voice that is activated by reading long passages of text, your brain is able to process visual imagery auditorily, especially when combined with will established symbols.
If that voice resembles your speaking voice, you are likely more dominant in another field of thought, using narration as a supportive sense. Your brain doesn’t naturally tend to generate sounds, it’s using the most easily commutable sound, your own voice, to deliver the information. This isn’t to say that you can’t conjure sounds, but rather that your brain doesn’t do so without “trying” to. You get a half point for B and a half points for D.
However if that voice does not usually resemble your own speaking voice, or changes often, your brain is likely more predisposed to communicating through sound senses. You get one full point for B and a half point for D.
If you have no inner narration or other sensory stimuli when reading this text, but still fully observe and understand the words, you get one full point for D.
If you have no inner narration when reading this text but imagine it’s contents like a slideshow or movie when given visual descriptions, you get one full point for A.
If you’ve observed the text with no other thoughts or ideas asides from what has been commanded of you by the quiz, you get one full point for E.
3. Oops I did it again…
“I played with your heart! Got lost in the game! Ooh baby baby!”
Okay, assuming you know the song “Oops I did it Again” by Brittany Spears, did you hear her voice singing the song when you read the passage? Did you hear your own voice singing it? Did you only read the text?
And if you did hear her voice, did you also hear the background instrumentals? Did you see Brittany in your head in her red jumpsuit? (assuming you watched the music video lol) If not in her red jump suit, did you at least get some kind of visual imagery of Brittany’s face?
If you heard Brittany’s voice singing with no background instrumental or other stimuli, you get one point for B.
If you heard your own voice singing the song with no other stimuli, you get a half point for B.
If you only read the passage, you get one point for D
If you heard Brittany’s voice and heard the background instrumentals, you get 2 points for B.
If you heard Brittany’s voice and heard the background instrumentals, and saw her to some capacity, although not dancing or moving, you get 2 points for B and an additional 1 point for A.
If you saw and heard all of that whilst seeing Brittany dancing in some way, as if you were actively watching a video, you get 2 points for B and an additional 2 points for A.
If you saw Brittany specifically in her red jumpsuit alongside the instrumentals and singing, as if you were watching the exact music video, or remembered some other portion of the music video, you get 2 points for B, 2 points for A, and an additional 1 point for F
and, if you immediately remembered the entire song of “oops I did it again” without any other stimuli, or without necessarily “hearing” anything, you get two full points for F.
Consider how your brain handles all of these rabid thoughts and quick communications to understand the contents of this post.
4. Imagine yourself sitting in your living room
Now imagine there’s an apple in your right hand and a cube of ice in your left hand. Sit for about 15 seconds. Now, mentally, stand from whatever surface you were sitting on, still holding the ice and apple, and lick the floor.
If you had difficulty imagining the living room, “feeling” the ice cube and apple, and maintaining those things while licking the floor, your brain is likely not dominant in texture based thoughts. Subtract a half point from C if you had any already.
If you could easily and vividly imagine the feeling of ice and an apple in your hands, but did not experience any discomfort, and had difficulty maintaining your living room or moving within that space, you only get one point for C.
If you could easily and vividly imagine the feeling of the ice and an apple in your hands, but did not experience any discomfort, and had an easy time maintaining your living room and moving within that space, you get one point for C and an additional one point for A.
If after 15 seconds you felt somewhat uncomfortable, vividly felt the ice melting in your hand, or felt disgusted by feeling the floor (carpet, tile, hard wood etc ) on your tongue, specifically at the thought of dust, dirt, or debris on your tongue, vividly feeling hair and lint get stuck to your tongue, you get 2 full points for C and an additional 2 points for A.
If you could easily imagine the space and do all of these things, but did not experience discomfort and/or saw yourself doing these things in the third person, you get one point for A.
If you could somewhat do these things but got tripped up or lost some of the immersion by thinking about things that aren’t actually in your living room, like imagining both the room and the apple at the same time, you get one full point for F.
5. If I were to hand you a page with 50 phone numbers on it, and told you to memorize all of the numbers in the list, would you…
1. Remember each phone number sequence individually to the best of your ability, starting from the first.
2. Remember the sounds of the numbers as you recited them aloud and recall the “song” or rap that you created with them
3. Recall the whole page of numbers like a photo and try to remember what was written on the entire page
4. Remember each number individually and remember how they sit in the sequence in relation to each other
5. Assign each number a color and then recall the number sequence by remembering how each color transitions into the next
6. Assign each number a letter (4 = F, 9= N), and create words or abbreviations to remember the full sequence of numbers.
7. You wouldn’t be able to remember them all.
If you chose option 1, you get a half point for F
If you chose option 2, you get one full point for B
If you chose option 3, you get one full point for A
If you chose option 4, you get one half point for F and an additional half point for D
If you chose option 5, you get 2 full points for A
If you chose option 6, you get one full point for D
If you chose option 7, you get 1 full point for F
6. Your goal is to think of absolutely nothing for the next 30 seconds. Close your eyes, and do not think about anything.
If after about 10 or so seconds, a song or tune started playing in the background of your mind, you get 2 points for B.
If after about 10 seconds, you had any conscious comment or thought, “how long has it been?” “am I doing this right?” “I wonder what…” “I hope that”… or you felt the need to mentally count to 30, you will subtract a half point from E if you had any already.
If after about 10 seconds, you visualized something against your will, anything at all, even though you were actively trying to think about nothing, you get 2 points for A.
If you started thinking about previous parts of this quiz that you have already completed, you get two points for F.
If you had inclinings of thoughts coming on but were able to quickly stifle them, you get one point for E.
If you were truly and honestly able to think about absolutely nothing for thirty whole seconds, you’re a winner baby, you get 2 full points for E.
7. You’re laying in bed procrastinating doing some task you really don’t want to do. But you eventually find your strength and finally decide to get out of bed. When motivating yourself, do you think:
1. “okay, I gotta get up now”
2. “come on, you gotta get up now”
3. “alright, we gotta get up now”
4. you do not have any inner dialogue about it, you simply know you have to get up and get up without consciously voicing it to yourself.
If you chose option 1, you do not lose or gain any points.
If you chose option 2, subtract 1 full point from E if you had any already.
If you chose option 3, subtract one half point from E if you had any already.
If you chose option 4, you get two points for E.
8. When you hear people speaking in real time, do you see their words transcribed in your head as if you were reading subtitles?
1. No, never
2. Sometimes but not always
3. Yes, all the time
If you chose option 1, remove a half point for D
If you chose option 2, you get one point for D
If you chose option 3, you get 2 points for D
9. Which best applies to you?
1. I remember things best when I write them down
2. I remember things best when I say them out loud repeatedly
3. I remember things best when I have some kind of visual reminder
4. I remember things best when I’m nervous about them
5. I don’t know how I remember things, I just do.
6. I remember things best when I’ve done them at least once before
If you chose option 1, you get one point for D
If you chose option 2, you get one point for B
If you chose option 3, you get one point for A
If you chose option 4, you get one point for C
If you chose option 5, you get one point for E
If you chose option 6, you get one point for F
10. You're waiting for something and you're bored, there's no one around you so you're not nervous to do whatever you want. How do you "stim", or occupy yourself?
I probably start singing a song to myself or repeating a funny phrase
I tap my fingers, feet, or teeth together. I do some kind of repetitive movement
I daydream or imagine scenarios in my head
I think about my day or something weird that happened recently
I'd have to have my phone or some kind of music to occupy me or I'd be upset
I'm able to wait for long periods of time without stimming or using distractions
If you chose option 1, you get 2 points for B
If you chose option 2, you get 2 points for C
If you chose option 3, you get 2 points for A
if you chose option 4, you get two points for F
If you chose option 5, subtract one point from E if you had any already
If you chose option 6, you get two points for E
Part 2: Interpreting your results
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