#but it's fine because a guy- not the figurehead that was set up for the city to look up to! just a guy- says it's time to fight together

[kingcriccket]

I genuinely can't think of a television show that so badly fails to wrap up or justify almost all of its major plot and character threads in the way Arcane did. That's special.

[nose-rice]

Guys I NEED to rant about my thoughts on Nuru because i love her <3 ramblings ahead

Like I feel like in almost every fic i read, she's just like, a side character that's there to make whitty remarks to Hugo and be the levelheaded one. If she has an insecurity or problem it's usually pretty surface level and solved quickly, or only mentioned once or twice. I think there are SO many aspects of her character that are so cool.

Okay first, I think we sometimes forget that she's a nerd just like the rest of the gang. Yes, on the outside she's definetly the most 'normal' one, but I think we should concider the fact that she's the only girl in the group, and she's literal royalty. She was raised with a completely different set of standards than the other three. I don’t think I've really ever seen anyone cover that. I feel like she would get called "mature for her age" when she's only 15/16, and almost always gets critisism when she talks back with her own ideas (like her concerns about the meteor shows for example). I feel like out on her journey, she would finally get the freedom to just be herself, and be a kid and be able to rant on about her intrests with the rest of the group. It could be a struggle at first, but it would be awesome to see her getting more comfortable with the group the longer they spend together! Nerds encouraging nerdy rants lol

Since she is a kingdom figurehead, you could also argue that she always has a lot on her hands (especially since she's very proactive when it comes to science and solving problems). This could bring up a need to be productive, or always feeling like she needs to make the right decision, even for the littlest things.

I also feel like a lot of the time she's potrayed as the "right" one, who is 100% right when it comes to stuff like arguing with Hugo. Since they're opposites when it comes to class, they often are compared through that lense. I think it's cool just having Nuru tell Hugo off for judging a book by its cover, but I feel like they have a lot more in common than they realize. I think it would be interesting to see Nuru judging a book by its cover too. Maybe not to the degree that Hugo does, but I feel like calling out both their judging would not only call out character flaws, but it also enforces that even though they hate eachother and would never want to be like the other, they have a lot of the same flaws.

Also, being sheltered in a palace her whole life, I think she might think kind of black and white sometimes, and while she knows when people are just being mean as an act, she might struggle when it comes to people like reformed criminals.

Maybe she's able to be meaner to Hugo because she justifies it by telling herself he's criminal, and therefore bad, possibly glossing over the reasons he might be like that (maybe it crosses her mind, but she tells herself it's not a good enough reason, because stealing is still stealing, and he literally steals EVERYTHING. Even little trinkets and stuff he definitely doesn't need!). When they find out about Varian's criminal history, maybe she reexamines her views on morality and how she used to see people, because by her standards, Varian is a 'bad guy' who's caused harm to SO many people, but he's also the kind, caring, helpful friend that she's been traveling with who would never willingly hurt anyone.

Moving on to Amber x Nuru, I honestly never find myself liking the ship because Amber isn't developed enough which is fine. I don't think every character has to be a magnificent work of art. Side characters are side characters, but their romance is usually written like: "wow that girl is cute! I have a crush now!" Which is cool, but then that's about as far as it gets, then timeskip! Or offscreen they're a couple now. I know it's a side couple so it won't have as much devlopment as something like Varigo, but I never really see their dynamic play out in different situations. Like I don't know how to explain it, but it feels like they solely exist to be a couple? Amber sometimes just feels like an extention of Nuru, and their relationship feels surface level a lot of the time.

I feel like too often she's just watered down to the nice, smart, grounded friend, and I don't know I just think there’s so much more to explore with her. She’s not just some side character. She's literally part of the main cast! Even in fanart I feel like she doesn't really get a lot of stuff besides funny art and just like, pictures meant to look pretty. Unlike something you get a lot with characters like Varian or Hugo.

And honestly I get it. Some characters you just don't take an intrest in. I know I find Varian, Hugo, and Nuru more relatable than I find Yong, but I feel like part of that is developing their characters rather than just seeing them on a surface level. Ofc there are exceptions and there are some stories that dive deeper into Nuru's character out there! I just happen to see this A LOT.

Wow i said "surface level" a lot didn't I 😭😭

Anyway thank you for reading my rant i wanna know what you guys think!!

[mechanicalriddle]

OCtober DAY 3: Old OC (i know im posting this on day 5. I know. I dont know what to tell you V_V):

I'm playing a trick on you because this guy is new AND old. Mostly old, because he actually dates back all the way to shortly after the creation of the FIRST EXALTED CHARACTER I EVER PLAYED. which may actually be like seven fucking years ago at this point. Anyway, meet Niraj.

Cynis Niraj is a dynast, a member of the ruling class of the (standard) Exalted setting. He belongs to a dynasty known as the Scarlet Empire, frequently shorthanded to the Realm. The Realm is made up of a family of Exalted called Dragonbloods, these being the weakest but most numerous sort, as their exaltation is ostensibly 'carried in the blood' rather than bestowed.

This creates about as many problems as you would expect it would.

Anyway, dragonbloods are aligned to one of five elemental dragons- fire, air, wood, water, and earth. A lot of them are descendants of the powerful figurehead known as the Scarlet Empress, and they tend to be rich as shit and probably inbred to some degree.

Niraj is no exception to the dynastic stereotypes; House Cynis made its fortunes on the imperial drug trade, as well as partnering with the guild on their... human trafficking ventures. He is a pothead wizard and a snobby little bitch, and the best friend of the Anathema Ledaal Tedeo, though that's on a need to know basis, and maybe three people need to know that. As a matter of fact he was at the scene of the crime when Ted was Chosen, except-

-Well there's an important thing you should know here, which is that in Exalted lore, Heaven deposed the Solar Deliberative thousands of years ago. By killing... Pretty much all of them. And then capturing as many of their exaltations they could find, and putting them in a big vault under the sea. And then creating a new religion which would brand anything that looked like a Solar (or Lunar, for that matter) as a demon-cavorting wild and wicked monster that must be hunted to extinction. By the Dragonbloods. Dragonblooded are not supposed to be friends with Solars. Solars aren't supposed to be human. Solars are supposed to die.

By association, one could also be branded as an anathema for his aiding and abetting a known anathema such as Ledaal Tedeo.

But we're not talking about Ledaal Tedeo. We're talking about Cynis Niraj, who is like, a little bit gay. Just like a leeeeeeeeettle bit gay. He's just gay and just sentimental enough that he's decided he doesn't want his best friend getting put down like a dog, even if it means turnabout is a fair excuse to also get put down like a dog. Every day his house of cards adds a new one to the stack. But it's fine, because water aspects are supposed to be good at the cloak and dagger courtly espionage thing. Its sort of their whole schtick.

Like any young dragon of the realm, Niraj is desperately obsessed with appearances. If you thought your highschool experience was bad, DBs are on a whole new level of psychological warfare being that the honor of their house is constantly on the line. They're trained from a young age to engage in cutthroat social combat with their peers, preparing them for a future where nearly anything about them is assumed to be weaponized against them. Niraj spent a long time teaching himself how to be """cool""". Stay on the periphery of drama, never be embroiled in it. He provided the benefits of a direct mainline to quality Cynis intoxicants to his peers as a social lubricant to keep himself out of trouble. He learned to let insults slide cleanly off of him.

This didn't really fully work for a couple of reasons; one being that there are certain personality types in Dynastic schooling that see a guy like that and wonder exactly what it will take to make him snap. Secondly, he did take an unusual fondness towards one of their mortal peers, widely disliked for continuing his schooling after failing to exalt (....as a dragonblood) during his adolescence. Niraj simply appreciated his capacity for earnestness, a trait which was vanishingly rare in his circles, and would inevitably rub off on him - at least a little bit.

All Niraj asked for in exchange was his charge's complete confidence.

Ted always thought of Niraj's companionship as sort of like having a pet leopard with an admirable track record of not mauling him. He certainly has the capacity to, if he really wanted. He chooses not to, for reasons one can pretend to fathom, but will never actually understand. It's almost as though he enjoys the sensation of human hands running through his soft fur, but its hard to say for certain.

Currently Niraj is stuck participating in a Wyld Hunt- the sacred mission partaken by dragonblooded shikari (and their immaculate coterie) to find and successfully bring down threats to the Order. Niraj is indispensable to this mission on account of valuable information he may have due to his proximity to the target (Or at least, the leader of the Wyld Hunt, Sesus Varen, seems to think.) Fortunately nobody on the team seems to think that the young water aspect would have the fucking cojones to feed them a constant influx of false information for several months, something which is rapidly driving him toward his breaking point. Unfortunately Ted is no longer answering his calls, and things are getting weird quick. To top it all off, perhaps the strangest detail is that the person Varen is hunting to the ends of the earth also happens to be his own son. And while Varen has never been a particularly attentive father, it almost seems a bit weird, the zealotry with which he pursues his mission, and the lack of hesitation at the prospect of completing its penultimate goal.

Will Niraj lose it all for the sake of authenticity? Or will Ted's lousy anathema hunter father finally get to him?

Only time will tell.

Some fun facts now, cuz fuck it.

He/him, 21yrs. Essence 3 ish, 5'8" tall

He's the son of lesbian drug magnates, and the last of a prodigious wood aspected lineage, and nobodys sure why it suddenly decided to veer into water territory, but Blood of the Dragons is Blood of the Dragons sooooo....

Went to The Heptagram (foremost academy of sorcery in the Realm, and probably all of creation) seemingly on a whim

just kidding he subconsciously wanted to trans his gender with sorcery. later he wanted to consciously trans his gender with sorcery.

and then he did it ^_^

Exalted while playing chicken on the seawall in his hometown & almost drowning, miraculously managing to not kill anyone in his essence fever-rage

(not for lack of trying)

Despite not being a wood aspect, likes plants a lot. And not just the ones that make you funny, he also has (or had) a painstakingly maintained orchid collection back in school

I didnt talk about him publicly for a very long time specifically because I loved keeping my fellow players in suspense about what this guy was actually like. All they got was occasional magical correspondences and a name, no face, no house for a long time, no other identifies. It was fun. But I'm also very happy I get to talk about him finally :3

I consider him an old oc because Ive had him for like seven years. He's new because I only recently started a pbp with him! which, speaking of, I should really get to responding to. so...

ta ta~

[sashaforthewin]

Here, have a lil chunk of one of my hundreds of Stranger Things WIP ficlets I've been writing to avoid writing a long WIP...

-----

Eddie's not an idiot. Well, he's kind of an idiot, but he has basic pattern recognition skills, he can put two and two together. He knows the sudden and steadily increasing audience at the Hideout corresponds with Steve Harrington starting to come to their shows.

And if he needed a control to test his hypothesis, Steve was home sick tonight. Some of the audience had ditched before the set started, but most gave it a few songs to see if he would show before heading out. Corroded Coffin's fourth song was played to an empty room besides the regulars at the bar. Let me tell you, nothing knocks your ego back down to the ground floor like playing to the backs of three old bikers, two of which are named Carl, and one construction worker covered in brick dust. Even the bartender had turned on a little radio behind the bar and had some sort of sports announcer playing.

But, crowd or no crowd, they kept playing because practice is practice, no matter where or when you're playing. Eddie tried not to notice that there was zero acknowledgment when they finished besides the bartender turning up the radio. At least they could still pad out their pockets with their cut of the cover charge, since people still paid to get in initially, even if they skedaddled. It wasn't much but they could afford to go to the diner and still have a bit left over, so they did. 

Once they were sat at the corner booth with greasy plates of various breakfast foods in front of them, Gareth cleared his throat and tapped his coffee mug with a knife to get everyone's attention. It wasn't hard, they were all a bit down from the show, so they were not as loud as usual. 

"Okay, I think it's time to discuss a major restructuring of the band."

This got Eddie's attention. He knew something needed to change but he didn't think anyone else thought so.

"Eddie, is Steve Harrington musical at all? Can he sing or play any instruments?"

"What? Oh, huh, I actually don't know… He has shit taste in music, he likes dance pop, but I don't actually know if he can play or sing."

"Okay, well, find out. I'm not above putting him behind a keyboard and having it turned off. I think if we can get him shirtless we might even start selling out shows. Don't look at me like that, guys, we know people only come to our shows to ogle Harrington and try to shoot their shot with him whenever Robin leaves his side long enough. Think about how many people would actually start to pay attention to our music if they think it's coming from him! I know it seems shitty to get fans under false pretenses like that, but maybe some of them will start to actually dig the music."

They all sat there thinking and eating, mulling the idea over while they slurped up slimy eggs and crunched on overly buttered toast and burnt hash browns swimming in yellow grease. 

"It's not a terrible idea, it'll get more people to give our music a chance."

"More? It'll get anyone to give our music a chance!"

"One of the Carl's was tapping his foot," Jeff pointed out unhelpfully.

"He's always tapping his foot, dipshit, he's got the shakes."

"Still," he shrugged.

"Yeah, I can ask him," Eddie spoke over the bickering.

"Find out if he can play or sing first and then bring him to practice, maybe we can talk him into joining without outright saying it's for his looks, you know?" Gareth suggested.

"Yeah, fine," Eddie said. If Gareth wanted to try to backseat drive this thing, he could go ahead. Eddie was pretty sure Steve wouldn't want to be the eyecandy figurehead of a death metal band, but he would be glad to be proven wrong and not have to do any of the work to get it. 

And if he hated the idea, it wouldn't reflect badly on Eddie since Gareth was going to be the one to suggest it.

(Maybe there will be more later)

[livwritesfics]

Hello!

I saw that your requests are open so I thought I'd make one, don't feel obligated though, I know myself that it's hard to write an idea that you don't really feel.

Anyway, I want to request a LawLu where Law is really insecure if Luffy likes him or not and if he really wants a relationship or not and he successfully resolves it ❤

Have a great day/night and I hope you get your AO3 account soon

A/n: Thank you for your request friend!! I hope you like this oneshot :) Also, I am not caught up with One Piece (yet I read fics with spoilers anyways cause I don't care anymore) so bare with me here! Also, most of this is taken in Law's POV.

Law sighs dreamily as he looks at Luffy sitting on the Sunny figurehead. Leaning on his head on his hand he has a small smile on his face as he just watches him.

"Law? Law!"

He immediately get's snaped out of his daze and looks up in surprise. It's the cook of the Strawhats. Sanji.

Sanji frowns as he cleans his hands with the handkerchief. "Law you need to stop this and make a move."

Law sighs. He's heard this millions of times from the Strawhats. No. Billions. If he had a dime for every time he got told by one of the Strawhats to make a move on their captain, he'd be rich!

"I can't do that eyebrow-ya." He lamented looking back at Luffy.

Sanji sighed and went back to doing the dishes.

For months this has went on, ever since Law had met Luffy at Sabaody, he's been shot with an arrow of love. He's fallen hard for the Straw hat boy. His crew and now the Strawhats found it hilarious and teased him relentlessly for it.

The Strawhats felt bad for Law though. Their captain was very oblivious so he didn't understand how much he affected Law.

Law always got so flustered around Luffy. Luffy would hug him, he would blush and gap like a fish. Luffy would compliment him, same effect. Whatever Luffy does really, gets him all flushed and wordless.

At night, Law slept in Luffy's captain's quarters because Luffy never uses it. He makes up scenarios in his head about what it would be like to be with Strawhat-ya.

He knows it'll never happen, he knows he'll never be good enough, that Luffy will never feel that way. Or even want a relationship. That doesn't mean that he can't dream. And boy does he dream (a/n: wink wink).

He sighs sadly as he crawls into bed that night. It all seems like an endless loop now. Him silently pining over Luffy and Luffy always never getting the message.

╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝

One day, the Thousand Sunny finally gets to Zou. They made it! Law's crew greet him and welcome their captain back. Hugs and sobs take place while the Heart captain puts up with it, secretly thankful to be back with his crew. He missed them very much.

But he would have to part from His Luffy. Right. Not his.

Law's smile falters and he glances to the ground.

"Are you okay captain?" Law looks to Bepo who had asked the question.

"I'm fine Bepo, don't worry."

╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝

Later that night, after dinner the Strawhas and the Heart pirates had a meeting. Minus their captains.

"So we all agree that we're here because of our captains, right?" Zoro started the meeting.

"AGREE!" everyone shouted.

"Okay, we know that Law is going nuts over your captain so that's why Nami and Robin made a plan. We slipped a note underneath the door to Law's Captain's Quarters saying it was from Luffy and you guys gave Luffy a note saying it was from Law." Shachi explained.

"Right!" Chopper exclaimed, raising his hooves in the air in excitement.

"Okay, so they know to meet at a flower field for a date, correct?" Ikkaku asked.

They nodded. Everything was set.

╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝

Law:

He was in his office reading a Sora comic when he heard a pair of feet in front of his door.

He turned in his chair and headed to it. As he was about to open the door, a note slipped through it.

Luffy.

It. Read. Luffy.

Luff sent him a note!

Law quick threw open his door to try to talk to him, but much to his dismay, he was met with nobody.

He went back into his room and opened the note.

Dear Torao,

I really like spending time with you! Let's meet at the flower field and spend time together!

Oh! And dress nice! It's a date.

Luffy

Law gasped as he read the last part. He pinched himself to see if this were real or not. Nope! Real, real, real.

He quickly went to his closet and started picking out what to wear.

╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝

Law went to the flower field and waited excitedly. He has dreamed of this day since forever. He never pictured it would happen though. He never thought that Luffy would ever like him like this. Ever since he met him he always thought he wouldn't be good enough to be in a relationship with Straw hat. Luffy's so special and Law's so... meh. Nothing special.

Then Law saw him. Luffy. He looks so beautiful. Law thought. Once Luffy found him he jumped and started waving at him. Law and Luffy both giggled gleefully and started running for each other.

"Hey!" They both greeted each other at the same time.

They both blushed and looked away. "Thank you for inviting me out for a date," Law looked back at him, trying to hide his blush beneath his hat.

"What? Law I never asked you out? You asked me out!" Luffy stated confused.

"But... But I got a letter that said you wanted to spend time with me here!" Law explained to him, holding out his letter.

"I have a letter too," Luffy took his letter from his pants' pocket.

They looked at each other in confusion before Law realized what was happening here.

"Oh, I see. Luffy-ya, our crews set us up" Law told him, sad that this entire thing was fake. He knew that Luffy would never like him. It was too good to be true.

Law bowed his head in despair before Luffy grabbed his hand. He looked up. "Well, let's not let them ruin our night. I still have a hot date here, so let's have fun!"

Law gapped like a fish and turned red fervently. "You still want to?" Luffy nodded. "You like me?" Law continued. Nod again.

"Okay," he whispered, a growing smile on his face.

╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝

Luffy:

The rest of the night they talked and talked, walking through the flower field. They later went out to dinner and started walking back to their ships. Holding hands.

As Luffy was swinging their hands, he looked up at Law and studied him. Mine. He's mine.

Law caught Luffy staring at him and stopped walking. "yes?" he chuckled.

"Tonight was fun. We should do that again."

"Yeah?" Law smiled, "I'm glad it was enjoyable. I had fun too."

All of a sudden their faces came closer and closer to one another.

They ended their night kissing underneath the streetlight.

THE END.

A/n: I hope this was okay, I know it's long and drags on but whatever, it's cute lol

[branana-bread]

I picked up 6 Discworld books at random this week (support your local library folks), so far here are my thoughts:

Mort

Death (the guy with the scythe and the pale horse) gets an apprentice: Some human kid named Mort, who’s just happy to have a job in this economy.

It was my first time reading this one, and my first Death book. I’ve heard people recommend starting the discworld series here (i started with Guards! Guards!) and I can see why. Its a fairly sedate opener with a straight forward single plot-line to follow for most of it. Despite having seen him sprinkled throughout the other series, this is the first time Death has actually felt scary, though mostly i just wanted him to have a nice day. And perhaps pet a cat.

I like Mort passably as a character, he’s enough of a sincere dumbass to be endearing although not especially interesting, and he figures stuff out quick enough to not be too frustrating. I really liked the part when he’s on reaping duty and sits quietly with the old witch to let her watch the sunset one last time while the sand runs out on her timer. Good coming of age story, i wish i’d read it as a teen.

Feet of Clay

A murder mystery with golems, an attempted coup, and rumination on the nature of consciousness. Ive read it before, it was great then and its great now. I always love the Watch crew, Angua and Cheery especially, who both get to shine in this one.

Angua made me a little sad this time around. How she bears Cheery’s anti-werewolf tirades with patience but can’t handle Carrot’s sincere concern and affection. I want good things for her, but she can’t face good things without self sabotaging. She’s as cynical about herself as Vimes is, and it makes me wish they had more scenes together. Let the mean old bastards be friends.

This seems to be a favourite City Watch book for many. I don’t find it quite so lofty, the final conclusions on faith and self creation are fine narrative points but they don’t resonate with me. I do appreciate the character turns though. The grief of the golems is heart rending. A stellar read.

Interesting Times

Rincewind the inept wizard gets sent to Not-Ancient-China as part of a ploy to start a revolutionary war and also a regular war. Meanwhile, Cohen the barbarian conquers an empire as his retirement plan.

The only other Rincewind book I’ve read was the colour of magic, and I had such a bad time I didn’t finish it. I only grudgingly started this one because it came out much later in the series. Im glad that i did, it has redeemed Rincewind somewhat in my mind, the esteemed coward doing his level best to flee a revolution that is determined to have him as a figurehead. Seeing the sharp edges of Twoflower’s grief at the end was touching.

I don’t know how i feel about the knock off china setting. Lord Hong is a strong enough villain i suppose, but the magical terracotta army is a little on the nose for me, and the less said of the sumo wrestlers the better.

The spiels about there being something much worse than whips in the Agatean empire, i.e. obedience, struck me as, i don’t know. Patronising? In many ways Pratchett is himself a Rincewind in this setting, declaring someone else’s backyard scary.

While I agree heartily with Rincewind’s rant about the cost of bloody revolution and who usually gets to do the bleeding, it sounded very much like Vimes speaking out of Rincewind’s mouth. I didn’t know the wizards paid much attention to that sort of thing. I wonder if Rincewind was alive for the Glorious 25th of May?

Interesting Times was an interesting read. I don’t know if I’ll ever come back to this one.

Next up: Thief of Time, Carpe Jugularum, & Thud

[sadachmesarthim]

just think about them for a minute:

- i want peter parker, the new boy king of an organized crime unit ben has figureheaded for decades. the entire seaboard adores him - no one knows what's really paying the bills. as far as they know, real estate is booming again 

- i want tony stark, our sweet young man from the city, taking after his father howard doing pro bono defense cases and helping the more unfortunate souls of new york 

- i want quentin beck, disgraced reporter for the bugle, who is this fucking close to being fired if he won't stop going on and on about these old money families the entire city loves and actually find a credible story 

- i want an angry quen beck, heart still aching and shattered, freshly broken up with, ready to spill every single secret about the parkers, and i want tony. poor, sweet, innocent tony, willing to walk right into the parker estate and practically announce that he's there for more evidence. and, because he's a total fucking moron, i want him to get caught.

- i want a peter that likes this little fly he's caught, this... tony stark. a peter that'll play with his food before he eats it. maybe he doesn't keep him - at least not locked in his basement or chained to the wall. but maybe he brings buck & steve over, whispers to them just loud enough for tony to hear. tells them to bring q to the house, however they had to.

- i want a peter that likes this little fly he's caught, this... tony stark. a peter that'll play with his food before he eats it. maybe he doesn't keep him - at least not locked in his basement or chained to the wall. but maybe he brings buck & steve over, whispers to them just loud enough for tony to hear. tells them to bring q to the house, however they had to.

- and maybe they sit tony down in front of quentin, not bound or restrained in anyway - just sitting in front of quentin and watching as peter forces q onto his knees and pulls the bag off his head. and tony .... doesn't want to run. this is just more evidence, right??? and peter is so content, inside, because he knows tony is just a tad bit too interested, and quentin beck is scared as fuck. because he knew he would get caught. he just didn't think it would be so soon. 

- i want peter to sit next to tony as steve and bucky take turns whaling on quentin. i want tony watching, unwavering, as fists fly and blood runs. i want peter watching tony, eyes not leaving the man next to him, absolutely enraptured by his lack of fear. i want peter not at all concerned with the feeling in his gut as he watched tony's eyes get big when he sees quentin spit a bloody tooth out of his mouth. i want tony really fucking concerned by the total lack of fear and self preservation instincts he has within himself throughout the entire thing.

- i want him even more concerned when he doesn't even flinch, not when the two big buff guys are hitting quentin, not when peter stands up. not at all concerned when peter pulls a gun out from underneath his jacket. not when peter glances back at tony from over his shoulder, or when peter clicks the safety off and lines it up with quentin's right temple. not when peter shoots the little rat that got tony here in the first place, not when a fine spray of blood ends up all over his face. not when peter comes to kneel in front of him, safety still off and barrel still warm and gun resting right next to tony's dick what the fuck is this guy doing. not when peter snatches his own silk square from his breast pocket and wipes tony's face off, dabbing away the offensive red stains. not even when peter brings his lips up to tony's ear and whispers "i know you can keep quiet for me, can't you baby?".

- not when the gun is pulled away from his crotch and brought up to his hairline, tip of it dragged so gently from temple to chin. not when peter tips his head up so tony can fully face him, fully meet his eyes. i want the butterflies in tony's stomach when peter uses his loaded gun to force tony to his feet. i want them when peter uses his gun instead of his fingers to draw tony's lips toward his own. i want the catch in his throat when peter's unoccupied hand closes around it, when tony's forced into a box he didn't even know existed. i want the questionable sense of safety that wraps its way around him after the only first night he spends in peters bed. i want the security he feels when the blood is rinsed out of the clothes he wore that day - good as new, it never happened. i want the love he feels when peter buys him a ring - for his middle finger of course, a modestly sized titanium band, with an inscription on the inside 

- i want the emptiness that he feels when peter tells him to never come back to the house. to never contact him again. that he can never come back. i want the tan line that develops around that ring - the feeling of distant ownership that comes with being peter parker's silent boy - i want the raised imprint on his skin - "quiet for me" - that's visible whenever he takes the ring off. he never takes the ring off. and maybe peter still helps fund howards tonys law firm, and helps make it possible for him to take all those pro bono cases and still eat regularly. and maybe he still keeps tony safe from the less desirable people seeking his services, that peter knows would look at or touch or think about him in ways that ,,, set peter's skin on fire. and maybe peter likes it. having his hands around the sweet defense lawyer boy from down the street, even if it's from afar. and maybe tony likes it too. likes keeping peters secrets. likes being his metaphorical kept boy. likes having the physical reminder on his finger that if he were ever to open his mouth, he would end up just like quentin.

- but maybe. maybe it isn't really enough for either of them. so maybe tony fucks up one day and asks to be seen. he knows he's not allowed to come back to the house. he knows he's not allowed to talk to peter again. but he has to. tony has to see him again. so he goes and he insists and that gets him a nice swift punch to the stomach - but he still gets to see peter. and peter waives everyone else away but tony, and they go, and they talk. they talk like lovers 50 years married. they talk like soulmates ripped from each others grasp. tony breaks down and says that he cant stay away. that he'll stay quiet for the rest of his life - that peter can do whatever he wants to him to make sure of it - but he can't just stay away. and peter's heart... it hurts. it aches for the man in front of him because he wants so desperately to keep him.

- and maybe... maybe tony stark, new york lawyer, 28, heir to the stark law firm, goes missing one day. maybe howard and maria are devastated and do everything in their power to find their son. maybe they wake up one morning to a loud knock on the door and an envelope sliding underneath. maybe they open it to a letter from their missing son and a check for $10,000,000. maybe they read a beautifully worded goodbye, a heartbroken apology for abandoning them, but assurance that he's okay. maybe tony spends his days in plush robes and silk shirts and $500 boxers. maybe he has a beautiful collection of collars and bracelets and rings and even crowns that his lover has bought him. maybe he enjoys it when peter comes in with a new circle of gold to wrap around his neck or finger or wrist or head. maybe he likes playing dress-up for his prince. and maybe, just maybe... peter likes spoiling the little fly he caught in his web. he likes putting gold and diamonds and gemstones all over this precious little catch 

- because he loves his tony, and his tony loves him, and the best way to keep him quiet is to keep him close 

inspiration: black treacle - arctic monkeys, suck it and see - arctic monkeys

i know the formatting on this sucks i don’t know how to fix it i’m sorry

[theirrationalzone]

Yakkin ‘bout Games: Wolfenstein: The New Order

Yakking ‘bout Games is a series where I talk about games that I’m currently playing or have just finished. It can be new or old, console or PC, good or bad, it really doesn’t matter. If it’s a game worth talking about, you’ll see it covered here.

I think it’s fair to say that the FPS genre has enjoyed a bit of a renaissance over the last decade and a bit. The modern military shooters that dominated the late 2000s and early 2010s have become less common. We have seen the return of classic franchises like Doom and Half-Life, and we have also witnessed the influx of “boomer shooters” like Dusk and Amid Evil. A lot of cool stuff indeed.

With that being said, let’s take a trip back a few years. 2014 to be exact.

This was the first year of the (then) brand spanking new PlayStation 4 and Xbox One. The two consoles were not off to the best of starts though. Their early exclusives like Killzone Shadow Fall, InFamous Second Son, Forza Motorsport 5 and Dead Rising 3 had failed to impress. The only games picking up the slack were multi-platform releases like Assassin’s Creed IV Black Flag. The only FPS games available at the time (other than Killzone on PS4) were Call of Duty Ghosts (dull as dishwater) and Battlefield 4 (I enjoyed it but it was completely broken on release.)

Not exactly the most exciting of times for an FPS fan on console.

Wolfenstein: The New Order finally came along that May. It had been announced the year prior but it didn’t have much fanfare behind it. The initial E3 showing didn’t really impress anyone and there wasn’t really a great excitement for the game’s release. Perhaps it was because the previous Wolfenstein game was largely ignored by people or maybe because people were skeptical due to the game being MachineGames’ (the developer) first effort. People needn’t have worried though. The game turned out to be a massive surprise. It ended up being one of the best of that year.

Why am I covering this now? It’s because I recently got the urge to play it again after all these years. Plus I wanted to see how it would function in a post modern Doom world. So with that in mind, let’s get psyched and see how the game holds up.

Never has a smile brought terror to my heart so fast. Well this and my last dental appointment...

The New Order is set in an alternate universe where the Nazis won World War II due to their advanced technology being too much for the Allied forces. After an operation to try and assassinate the spearhead behind this growing technological evolution goes horribly wrong, Captain William “B.J.” Blazkowicz ends up taking a piece of shrapnel to the back of the head which puts him into a vegetative state. He ends up spending fourteen years in a Polish mental asylum before finally being awoken again due to witnessing a horrible atrocity committed by the Nazis. B.J. is now in the alien world of 1960 where the Nazis rule over the world with an iron fist. It’s up to B.J. to link up with the remnants of the Resistance and take the fight back to the Nazis once and for all.

The story was and still is one of the most surprising elements of The New Order. It paints a brutal picture of a world controlled by an evil and ruthless force who will stop at nothing to assert their dominance. The cast as well are very memorable. You have the plucky and likable Resistance fighters who you get to spend quite a bit of time with. You then have some memorable encounters with the evil figureheads of the Nazi regime at certain parts of the story. Anyone who has seen the train sequence in this game knows exactly what I’m taking about. I have to give MachineGames credit as well for the characterisation of B.J. himself. They managed to turn a character who was known for being a badass Nazi killer to a very sympathetic and likable Nazi killer. B.J. in this game is weary and tired after years of fighting evil and tyranny at every corner. The man wants nothing more than for the war to be over so he can hang up his guns and finally settle down. How could you hate the man after hearing something like that?

B.J. is such an upstanding guy that he would infiltrate a Nazi controlled train just to get you some coffee. Liberation and a Cappuccino, you can’t beat it. 

The real bread and butter of The New Order though is the gameplay. It has held up fantastically for the most part. Combat is a blast thanks to the very meaty arsenal at your disposal including assault rifles, shotguns, marksman rifle and a Laserkraftwerk which allows you to blast enemies to smithereens. You’ll have plenty of enemy types to cut through including rank and file soldiers, big mech suit soldiers with heavy weaponry and robots that have massive lasers. B.J. has a few abilities though to help turn the tide of battle. Leaning is one such ability and it’s implemented very well. How it works is that if you hold the L1 button, it locks B.J. in place and you can then use the left stick to lean at different angles. It’s super useful. Earning a well placed few shots at a Nazi from a very awkward angle never gets old. B.J. also has the ability to dual-wield certain weapons to deal even more hefty damage to his foes. Press up on the d-pad and prepare to bring the carnage. While this is a pretty fun feature, it does limit your movement speed and it can result in you burning through ammo quite quickly. It also is restricted to two types of the same weapon. You can also find upgrades for weapons which give them different ammo types and fire modes. The Laserkraftwerk, for example, can be used to cut through certain boxes and materials which is pretty nifty.

In terms of how health works, it’s a hybrid between classic pick-ups and regeneration. You can recover health by picking up health packs and food throughout the game. Armor can be found as well to allow you to take some extra damage. If you take health damage and managed to find cover, you’ll eventually get 10 health points back. You also have the ability to overcharge your health. How this works is that if you end up picking up a health item that takes you over your max health, you get higher health points for a brief period which is quite useful. You can increase your max health by finding hidden health upgrades throughout some of the levels.

AI is decent for the most part. They will attempt to find cover in the heat of a firefight and they do try to flank you. Some of the heavy soldiers will also attempt to rush your position. I certainly didn’t notice any unusual behaviour from them. Boss fights are a bit unremarkable for the most part. The game pretty much spells out how to take them out and they don’t really put up much of a fight. The main exception being the final boss but even then, it really isn’t that hard.

The secret painting boss fight was an interesting idea though. Definitely a canvas for them to work on in the future. (Apologies for the bad pun and joke.)

The game does have a basic stealth system and it works fine. When you enter most of the areas in the game, you will be informed that there are two commanders in the area. Take them out without being spotted and you can sneak through the area without having to worry about reinforcements if you get spotted by an enemy. You can take down enemies stealthily by using a silenced pistol, throwing knives or by sneaking up to them and performing a takedown. Stealth can feel a little overpowered during some of the early sections because the pistol is super accurate and it only takes one headshot to take some of these enemies down. The game does balance this a bit better later on as areas are populated with more elite enemies that harder to kill without being spotted.

Being a Wolfenstein game, you would expect exploration to be a big part of the gameplay and it does play a part for sure. There are hidden areas to be found with collectibles such as the Enigma codes which can unlock new difficulties and cheat codes. You can also find hidden max HP upgrades and other stuff as well. Maps can be found in each level which will indicate possible hidden secrets with a question mark. Levels are definitely more linear than some of the prior Wolfenstein games so don’t expect huge hidden areas or levels.

Key and item hunting still exists of course. You will find doors that require a key or a tool needed to progress which requires a bit of skulking around to find that key or item. You see this especially in the Resistance HQ sections which occur after most of the levels. In these sections, you will be tasked with finding a certain item for a character to progress to the next level. There are also side missions where you can do the same thing for other characters in the HQ and completing these unlocks extras such as artwork. I’m mixed on the Resistance HQ sections overall. On the one hand, they’re good from a lore perspective because you can overhear conversations from some of the characters and there are newspaper clippings and notes to find which do a good job of building up the world. On the other hand, they do feel a little bit like filler. Swings and roundabouts, I suppose...

I don’t really have many issues with the gameplay as a whole. My only real gripe is how the weapon wheel works. Weapon wheels are commonplace on console because a controller doesn’t have many buttons when compared to a keyboard. Makes perfect sense. The New Order’s one however can be such a temperamental thing to use. How it’s supposed to work is that you hit the R1 button to bring up the wheel and then you use the right stick to pick the weapon you want. Sounds simple enough. In reality what happens is that the game ends up giving you the wrong weapon time after time. I can’t even begin to count the amount of times that I tried to switch to the assault rifle and the game switched me to the dual-wield pistols instead. It can be a bloody nuisance. Part of this is down to how sensitive the stick is when using the wheel. It’s way too fast. Also why do the dual-wield options even need to be there? You can already hit up on the d-pad to dual-wield a particular weapon plus I didn’t really need to dual-wield all that much so it’s just clutter. They could have cleaned this up a lot better. I also had issues with swapping back to the previous weapon. It would sometimes default back to the Laserkraftwerk even though it wasn’t my previous weapon. Thankfully these issues didn’t get me killed but they certainly got on my nerves a little bit.

Textbook schadenfreude here from one of the villains. Shouldn’t be that shocked really...

From a graphics point of view, Wolfenstein: The New Order still holds up remarkably well. It runs on the same idTech engine that powered Rage before it and it certainly looks great. Character models are well detailed and they animate well. Cutscenes are well framed and the angles are perfectly done. Environments are beautifully crafted with amazing detail so whether you are in rainy soaked London or even the friggin’ Moon, you feel immersed in the world of the game.

I wasn’t kidding about the Moon. Look Ma, I’m in space! (In a video game...)

The game is quite aliased on the consoles. You definitely see sharp and jagged edges at times. Plus the textures look a bit low-res when viewed up close, but the game still looks great, and I imagine the PC version cleans up most of this stuff anyway so there’s that.

Tumblr’s image compression doesn’t do this environment justice. Oh well. C’est la vie, I suppose...

I can’t fault the game’s sound though. All voice performances are pitch-perfect with Brian Bloom (the voice of B.J.) being the standout. The music is incredible too with a great balance between atmospheric tracks and hard edged ones when the action really kicks off. It’s composed by a guy named Mick Gordon. Don’t think he’s done anything of note since though.

In terms of length, you’re looking at about roughly 8-10 hours for a first time playthrough. There is replay value with the collectibles and the Timeline system. To briefly explain, the Timeline system is related to a choice you make at the start of the game which changes some of the characters you encounter during the game. It doesn’t drastically change much. The events remain the same. You just get some unique dialog and a scene or two. Not much else.

So as you can see, I think that Wolfenstein: The New Order is still a bloody good time. The shooting still feels great with some really meaty weapons, the story and characters are super engaging, and the presentation and sound still kicks some ass. It has some minor issues here and there, but this game is well worth experiencing. You can pick it up pretty cheap nowadays on most of the platforms and it does go on sale quite often.

It’s nice to go back sometimes and revisit a classic, isn’t it? 

Check back here soon for Part 2 of this where I take a look at The Old Blood. Until then, stay safe, folks!

[scumbag-monthly]

Hey guys! Evil Ed here bringing you a special PSA. We’re a small fandom here, as you all know, and that means – unfortunately – it’s impossible to avoid drama. Fortunately, it also means that we like, literally hardly ever have it. We’ve been going along pretty fine for the past couple years without much in the way of scalding tea to spill, and I’m grateful for that. We also wanted this blog, and this zine, to be a drama free space, and although we have reassured people of this in the past, I hope I can say truthfully that the zine-blog won’t be cluttered up with anymore of this pointless crap. If you don’t care about any of this, congratulations! You’re a bigger person than any of us, and we’re genuinely thrilled – we hope we can follow your example in the future. If you want the tea, however, it’s under the cut.

About five months ago, give or take, some discourse started in the Scumbag fandom. I’m not going to rehash it here. It is what it is, and it’s more or less in the past. Based on the situation, the “In-House Staff” at Scumbag Monthly (the figureheads behind Electric Boogaloo Publications, who don’t necessarily contribute to the zine every time all the time, but run all the boring unanarchic admin stuff behind the scenes) held a meeting to take stock and determine the situation. Given that the tension was taking place between regular contributors, we all agreed that for the sake of the zine, a decision had to be made, and although it wasn’t an easy decision to make, it was one that we came to for the sake of the zine. I understand that this all sounds very serious and severe for a volunteer run fanzine dedicated to a very niche fandom, but from the start we all unanimously agreed that we would give the zine our all, and run it with the level of dedication and professionality we felt it deserved. With that in mind, it’s also worth noting that despite many of us inhabiting fandom spaces for over a decade, none of us had ever been involved with / close to any kind of discourse before, and I readily admit that we were all well out of our depth.

Some of us were reluctant to take a course of action for fear of hurting anybody’s feelings or making the situation worse. However, I decided that even though R is the acting editor in chief, and has done more for the zine than I ever could, Scumbag Monthly was still my baby, and these were the volunteers – my friends, my family – that I had enlisted to help me. I felt that I had a responsibility to them above all else. So I did something I don’t ever want to do again, I flexed my power as Scumbag Monthly’s creator and made the call.

With regards to the staff members causing drama, I looked at the situation as objectively as I could, and decided that the staff members who had held their posts for the shortest amount of time – two months – and had already missed deadlines in the past, would be asked to leave. Did I make the right call? I like to think so. I felt it was my job to admit that both sides had made mistakes, and make a decision for the sake of the zine and the people who have worked on it since the beginning. Also, by the time the meeting was called and a decision needed to be made, I was aware that numerous people on-staff were feeling anxiety and tension over the situation, without having been directly involved in the original internet. Again, these things ripple, and they are uncomfortable for everyone, and nobody knew how to handle a situation like that. I knew that whatever we decided to do, it needed to prioritise the mental health of the Scumbag staff. I also had to take into account that in the history of the zine as well as the numerous other group collabs I had worked on with these people in the past, there had never been an issue up until this point. I’m sure after this point I’ll be accused of taking a stance with regards to the original drama, or picking sides, or just generally being a biased prick. I assure you I’m not. Again, I made a decision firstly for the sake of the Zine, and secondly for the mental health of the people I care about. I won’t apologise for either of those things.

So, I readily admit that some people were removed from staff. And I will admit my handling of it was less than ideal. It’s worth remembering that this is a thing we do for fun, that we all have lives extending far beyond Tumblr, and we all have stuff going on. In a spectacular case of bad timing, I had a mental health episode that demanded my attention, and although I had already taken a break from Tumblr at that point I needed to take another step back. Again, I’m not gonna apologise for having a life outside the internet.

For perhaps the hundredth time, I relied on R to steady the fallout, because out of us two she has always been the more stable, dependable, responsible one. At no point did I think that she would ultimately become directly attacked based on what was ultimately due to my crumbling mental health. If I had, I assure you, I would have gone full human shield mode and kept her out of the situation as best I could. Again, it may not have been my drama, but I felt I had an obligation to the zine and to the people who supported me in its creation.

If I could have done things differently, I would have contacted the people involved and informed them that they were no longer on staff. I admit that it was immature to not contact them, but at the time my personal life was a mess and Tumblr drama was the last thing on my mind. We were all shaken up, and nobody was feeling 100%. Following my decision to remove some people from staff, we agreed (as an Electric Boogaloo Collective, if you like) that although those people would not be blocked from either the zine-blog or the Ao3 feed, the staff were well within their rights to block anyone who was giving them unnecessary anxiety in a place that was supposed to be their safe space – that is, their own Tumblr blogs. We agreed that the people in question would also be allowed to submit and post to the zine, just not hold a collaborative place on staff that would result in unnecessary friction. I like to think that this is the kind of action that would be carried out in a professional setting, although I have no way of knowing for sure.

Based on the situation, many of the Boogaloos decided to block those involved on their personal blogs, because they did not feel they could handle the risk of anymore drama in a place that, for them, was supposed to be sacred. I supported this decision wholeheartedly, as did R. When R made the decision to block these people on her personal blog as well, I supported her too, because despite the brave face she was putting on I could tell that the situation had upset her deeply, especially since all parties involved were people she considered her friends and she felt like she had failed in keeping the fandom together. I couldn’t stomach the thought of her feeling like any of this was her fault, especially since all she has ever done in this fandom is try to make everyone feel welcome and included, and has done her best to be diplomatic about this entire ridiculous situation. She made the decision (possibly for the first time ever, may I say) to put her mental health first, and I am fiercely and incredibly proud of her. In an act of solidarity, I made the decision to block those in question from theevilesteviled, aka the Dump, aka my personal blog on Tumblr.

However, I still took notice when one of the parties in question reblogged a recent Scumbag Monthly post. Frankly, I was surprised that after five months there was still a degree of tension, but was informed by some other staff members that there had still been some drama going on for quite some time. I was deeply upset by this, especially when I saw just how much R had been flamed and blamed for choosing to put her mental health first, and how she had essentially been thrown under the bus for what was ultimately my call. That isn’t fair, and I blame myself.

If you’re still here - after this long ass rambling post of nothing – you may want to consider picking up a day job or some kind of hobby, ha-ha. But if you are still here, with me, under the cut, (and I hope at least somebody will be) I have a request. Come flame me if you want – all G my dudes, I can take it. Hell, I might even deserve some of it for handling this whole situation with the grace and dignity of an upside down bullfrog. But leave R out of it – she didn’t do shit. Anyone on staff will tell you that 99.9% of R’s job is cleaning up after my messes and sorting out my meltdowns. She has been endlessly compassionate and patient with me, and imo, extremely patient about this entire situation, despite how much its bothering her. Furthermore, leave the zine out of it. It’s just an internet fanmag at the end of the day. It’s for fun. That’s all. There’s no deep hidden meaning, no magic codes behind the word searches, no hidden agenda. We’re a fanmag. We like The Young Ones. It’s really not that deep.

[weheistin]

hunger like a storm

finally. a short little fake ah crew snapshot, inspired by this art from @bara-kick . crossposted to ao3.

the fake ah crew didn’t necessarily deal in undercover ops and theft by stealth. their track record spoke for itself: big, loud, intense, and dramatic. that was their modus operandi, and it wasn’t about to change.

but sometimes, for the big scores, you needed to do a little recon while undercover. and geoff had found what could potentially be their biggest score yet.

the asshole in question lived out on the coast in pacific bluffs, right off the freeway, in some fuck-off fancy house that was all square and modern and ugly as hell. (money couldn’t buy taste, he figured, but still. it was a shame.) from what they’d gathered from the blueprints and security measures (matt had told him it was laughably easy to hack into securoserv’s databases, which was a problem. he’d immediately had him set up a new system so he could wipe them out of theirs. just to be safe.) this guy had a big ass safe in the basement level of his home. the protection of the safe in the house itself was minimal - they’d be able to hack in, no problem - but it was the rest of the place that proved tricky.

well, it proved tricky until fiona let him know that the rich asshole (and geoff should have remembered his name, but he didn’t) was throwing some charity ball or something, and that she’d gotten a pair of tickets for them.

(fiona was a blessing and he was so glad she was working with them and not anyone else.)

geoff had assumed that he and jack would take the tickets - that’s how it always used to be; they made a damn good team and played off of each other brilliantly in undercover situations. but when the time came, the ground team didn’t include him: michael and jack would be attending the gala, with ryan providing support and intel from a boat just far enough away to not be seen with the naked eye.

“you’re way too recognizable, dude,” michael told him as he straightened his tie in the mirror; lindsay had helped pick out outfits for them both earlier that week, and he’d only seen them now. it was weird, seeing michael without his wolf jacket. “me ‘n’ jack, though? we should be fine. it’s ‘cause we’re not the figureheads.”

he didn’t want to admit it out loud, but michael had a point; he was about to try and argue that anyway, just to be a bastard, when the door to jack’s room opened and she stepped out and his heart caught in his throat and then stopped.

she wore high black heels - they probably added a good six inches to her height and brought her up to average - and a floor length red dress that seemed to get darker and almost sparkle the closer you got to the hem. the straps or sleeves or whatever they were were meant to be off the shoulder, and for the first time in their years of friendship, he noticed all the freckles that covered her skin - probably from growing up in texas. her hair was in the same style it normally was, but the curls seemed a little more tame, and her lipstick matched the red of her dress.

but the real killer was the slit in the fabric, which went up and up and up to the top of her thigh, teasing the smooth, pale skin of her leg the whole way.

fuck.

jack laughed a little and that’s when geoff realized he’d been caught staring. he blinked a few times and let his gaze travel back up to her face, and her smile was almost radiant - it would have been if he couldn’t see the hint of teasing she’d hidden in it. she twirled once, quickly, and held out her arms. “how do i look?”

“jack, you look so good,” fiona said from where she was curled up on the couch with her phone. “seriously.”

michael nodded. “i never thought i’d say you look hot, but you do, man. holy shit. you clean up nice.”

she flipped him off with a smile and reached for her pistol where ryan had set it out for her. he’d called it plan b, and geoff was hopeful there wouldn’t need to be a plan b. the goal was get in, fuck with the security system a bit, get out, and send in a crew for the actual heisting later. no gunfire necessary. still, he’d rather her go in prepared than not. and no one would question a pistol at a party in los santos.

“what about you, geoff?” jack asked, looking at him pointedly as she made sure the safety was on. “what do you think?”

geoff cleared his throat and rubbed at the back of his neck with the hand that wasn’t in his pocket. “you look good. knock ‘em dead tonight.”

“you know i will.” with a wink, she hiked up the skirt of her dress - that alone was enough to give him a minor heart attack - and revealed the black holster on her right thigh. she slid the pistol into it, gunmetal against soft, warm skin, and shivered a little as she did; geoff had to turn away and focus on ryan and his sniper rifle to calm himself down, because the thought of that, let alone the image, was a lot to wrap his head around. she had to know what she was doing, right? how much of a tease she was being?

“okay. we’ll be back as soon as we can. we’ll keep in touch with matt on comms.” ryan tapped his ear, and geoff heard matt’s ayo! from across the penthouse. “i hope whatever’s making you weird is gone by the time we get back. michael, you got the flash drive?”

“yup!”

“alright, let’s go. you’ll be fashionably late by the time we get there.”

“be safe!” fiona called after them as they left, and as the door shut behind them, he fell on the couch next to her with a groan. she just laughed and patted his shoulder a few times in sympathy.

“does it make it better or worse if i tell you i think that was intentional on her part?” she asked, and geoff’s distraught noise made her laugh even louder. “that’s what i thought.”

[xihaveaplanxx]

The Calm (Pt 1 of 2)

“Is he sick?”

“No, well...not in the traditional way. I think he likes your friend.” Hosea turned to his daughter. She had come to visit him and they were in the kitchen observing Dutch who was sitting at the table writing and crumpling up pieces of paper and then writing again. He apparently was trying to write something for Dreama to convey how he felt and none of his words were making sense. It was weird to see him in such a way seeing as he always knew what he wanted to say. He was a master of words even but when it came to her, he didn’t know what to say. Hosea , of all the years he knew him, never knew him to get this way over any woman, ever. He usually had tons of women that fawned over him but this was different. Clearly. He was concerned for him. Seeing how Dreama was to people she was with, other than Anders, he couldn’t see this going well for him and part of him felt if she broke his heart, he might actually get broken in the process. “He told me he wants to write something to her something. Seems nothing is working.”

“I have ears, Hosea.” Dutch looked over at his friend. “And I think you are trying to imply that I am lovesick.” He placed the pen down and crossed his arms. “It’s not that. I just can’t find the right words to tell her how I feel. It all sounds....dumb. I want it to sound....how I feel but it all sounds stupid.”

“Why don’t you just instead of trying to structure it perfectly, just write out all you feel” Jenny suggested. “Don’t make it so rehearsed like one of your speeches at work. Just make it honest.”

“That’s a great suggestion, Jenny. At least unlike your father you want to be helpful.” He told her. “But it’s not so simple. Just writing it out. It’s hard. Probably a waste of time too. I’m not Anders. I’ll never be Anders so I can feel all the feelings in the world, she’ll just see me as someone that she can tolerate for now but her heart belongs to him.” He sounded quite sad which took both Hosea and Jenny off guard. They never heard him sound so...defeated before. He really had it bad. Very much so. “Maybe I am just wasting my time. After all, whenever Anders gets released, she’ll just go to him whether I really like her or not.”

“I’m sorry, Dutch.” Hosea told him. “Maybe you should move on to someone else. Someone that willingly won’t dump you off like that. At least if you feel she would.”

“Oh, Hosea. It’s too late for me. I’m too far in. I’m just going to have to get hurt and get back up again. I just wish that she’d just like me more than him but...she won’t.”

“Does she tell you you aren’t as good as him?” Jenny asked curiously

“Oh all the time. I doubt she’s even kidding. She just likes Anders, loves him actually. I clearly am just there til he comes back and she’ll just go to him. It’s not often I’d ever even say I was wrong but picking her, that was a mistake and I’m clearly being forced to deal with said mistake.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be.” He got up from the table and threw out all the crumpled up paper he had on there. “I’m going to get ready for work.”

“Are you going to be okay?”

“Well of course.” He told Jenny. “My heart might hurt but that doesn’t mean I’ll be miserable at work. If anything it’ll be a great distraction. Won’t need to think of her when I’m busy making sure my staff isn’t trying to start a fire in the garden section...again”

“Again?”

“Yes.....again.”

At the house/John’s pov

“Uh, what is he doing here?”

“He’s staying here, John, is that okay with you?”

“Actually it’s not. He’s a criminal.”

“Well, not anymore.” Dreama glared at me. To say I was stunned to see Anders was saying a lot. I thought he was locked away for good but I should have known if it comes to him she will do anything and I mean ANYTHING to break him out. Her fathers had very high influence around the town and as their daughter, she used that to usually get what she wanted. It’s how it always was. Even in school. She could have killed someone and been let off. Not that she was capable of murder but sometimes I wondered. “He needs somewhere to stay so he is staying here”

“I don’t think Jenny would like that.”

“My father is paying for this house. Not Hosea. If I want Anders here, he is going to be here or you can move out John if you don’t like it so much. You both can.”

“Nevermind.” I decided to not say more. She was usually understanding and kind but when it came to Anders it’s like he was a parasite to her mind. Just being around him, her love for him made her largely hate others if they had anything to say about him, often making valid points that she refused to even acknowledge though I know deep down she knows he’s a reckless mage. Oh, and possessed but she likes to pretend that’s not a thing even though we’ve seen him go into pure possession mode more than once. “Is he staying in our room?”

“Yes, but you can still have your bunk, he’s going to sleep in my bed.”

“Oh, that’s great.” I told her trying not to seem annoyed he was here. Jenny was going to be pissed. Can’t say I blame her. I also couldn’t help but feel bad for Dutch. He really REALLY liked Dreama. A whole lot. He was telling me and Arthur the other day and clearly she doesn’t care about him...or anyone unless it’s Anders. The poor guy. He was actually starting to calm down and he was even nicer at work apparently. He’s going to lose his shit when he sees this, I feel bad for the people at the Walmart. “Well, I’m going to head out. Meet up with Farkas.”

“Oh, alright. See you later John.”

“Bye” I turned to leave the house. Once I got down the block, I called Jenny. I needed to warn her. I’d rather call her and let her know other than he walks in and sees Anders in the house. The phone rang twice and then she answered, thank goodness.

“Hey John, what’s up?”

“Nothing. Well nothing except Anders is living with us now apparently”

“He’s what?? Isn’t he in jail?”

“He was but you know damn well Dreama wouldn’t let him get locked away for too long. Not with her parents' influence and how good she is with most of the law in this town, we should have seen this coming. I’m not even concerned about that. I feel really bad for Dutch....”

“Shit. Dutch has been very upset today. He wanted to write her something....then got down on himself which isn’t like him.”

“It’s her influence. She can take the strongest man and break them if she wants. Don’t even know why she talks to others when it’s clear she just likes Anders.”

“I know. I...does her dad know he is there? Teldryn might not care but oh Erandur will.”

“Will it matter?”

“Oh, it will matter.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Don’t worry just he won’t be there later, trust me”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.”

Three hours later/Erandur’s pov

“When I got this place for you, I got it so you can live away from me and Teldryn and Valdimar and live with your friends and then I come here and I see Anders. You know how I feel about that man. He should be in jail. Who released him? Was it Geralt? Tormund? Who let him out for you and what did you pay them because I will give them double that amount to keep him in maximum security. You do not get to destroy a town and run around scot free whether you love him or not.”

“I’m not letting him go back.”

“He has to. You know I don’t like him.”

“Well you're not the one in love with him I am. He’s my one love. Why can’t you let me be with him?”

“Because he’s a demon!”

“No I’m not.” Anders glared at him. “You always sided against things that helped your own kind, other mages. You’re a mage, your daughter is one so is your husband and a few of your good friends and yet you would turn a blind eye on injustices. You aren’t a figurehead for mages, you’d rather us lose our gifts than celebrate them without being watched.”

“You destroyed a town, Anders. If anything you proved what happens if mages are allowed to use their magic freely. Unchecked, look at what happens. Put most of us on watch for years. You made things worse when they were finally getting better!”

“You don’t understand”

“Maybe I don’t but what I do know is I do not approve of you with my daughter and I do not want you with her.”

“Well, she loves me.  I love her. You won’t break us.”

“Dreama....” I turned to my daughter about to lose my mind on this man. If it wasn’t looked down upon I’d have set this man on fire.  “Will you pick this man over your father?”

“I.....”

“Will you......pick this man....over your father? Don’t you dare disappoint me..”

“Dad....I.....”

“Don’t make me ask again.”

“No.”

“No, what?”

“I won’t pick him over you.”

“I thought so. I know you are upset with me. I know that but I need you to understand that this man, as much as you love him he is a menace and a lot of people died because of him and his recklessness. I know he matters to you so much, and I get that, believe me and I’m only doing this for your own good. I will not let you get lost in this man and his stupidity. I will not let him be the cause of me losing my daughter.”

“Yes dad.”

“I’m sorry, Dreama.”

“It’s okay.” She said lowly. I knew it wasn’t okay and it wasn’t going to be for some time. She was upset with me and upset in general and I understood that but this was for the best. I knew so. 

“Will you forgive me?”

“Sure.” She said as she got up and walked out the house. I’ve not a clue where she went but I knew Anders wasn’t with her and as low as the bar seemed to be in that sense, so long as she wasn’t with him, that was fine. She might be with Dutch but apparently he’s actually calming himself down. I loathe to think how he might react to her being near Anders because she is the type to tell him about it. She always wanted to be a mess and she was going to be vengeful over Anders. I knew that but I hoped she wouldn’t be so bad. 

“Anders, you are going back to jail.”

“You can’t make me.” He told me, holding his hand up to me. He really thought his little magic was going to harm me. “I won’t go.”

“You’d hurt the father of the woman you love so easily huh?” I told him and he backed down almost immediately. “Come with me. You are staying there this time.” I dragged him out and he didn’t say much, he just cried....a lot. He was always overly emotional. Crying every time he either got caught or couldn’t get away with doing whatever. I knew for one thing I wasn’t going to ever tell Dreama that Jenny tipped me off. I’d rather her not be upset at her. It would remind me of Hosea and I falling out over me and Teldryn sticking together. Yes Teldryn did get better and step up and be a good father and a good husband but it wasn’t always like that. Anders wasn’t like Teldryn though. Anders was Teldryn if he never matured which Anders refuses to do and wants to bring my daughter with him. I understood how she felt more than she knew....it’s why I just couldn’t allow her to be with him.``

At Hosea’s place/Hosea’s pov

“Oh, that sucks.”

“It does. My father really doesn’t like him and I don’t know why?”

“Could be te murder.”

“Didn’t your friend kill people?”

“Sure but I wasn’t in love with him. I think it was more a wake up call after all of that. You kind of just won’t let Anders go which I don’t get what is so great about him.”

“You sound jealous, Dutch”

“Yeah because the girl I really......someone I think highly of is so interested in someone clearly bad for her and loves them too much to notice.”

“You were going to say something else there”

“I was, but I won’t.”

“What were you going to say?”

“It’s not important.” Dutch sighed deeply. “You’ll be okay. There are other fish in the sea.”

“I don’t want them.”

“I know. You just want Anders even if he’s trash.”

“He’s not trash. You’re trash!” 

“Fine.” Dutch got up and walked up the stairs. I quickly moved from the window, trying not to seem nosy but I know Dutch knew I was probably watching all of this. He had just got home from work a while ago and of course she called saying she wanted to talk and he was willing, even in his tiredness to listen to her rant. He was clearly fed up with her, I didn’t blame him though. “I’m going to go inside. I’m tired.”

“Course you are. I want to talk and you are tired.”

“No, you want to talk and be mean to me because the man you love got carted off to jail...again. You just want to scream at me because you want to make someone feel as bad as you and that’s not fair and it’s not okay. I’m tired and I wanted to help you but I can’t, not if you are going to be like this. Just go home.”

“I...”

“Go.” He told her and she got up and left. He came inside and looked over at me before hanging his coat on the hook. “I know you were watching, Hosea.”

“That was tough.”

“Someone had to tell her. I hate that she’s like this over him. He’s not even that great”

“As opposed to you?”

“I might have been arrested before but I never done the things that man has done. She just...doesn’t care who she hurts. I wish she did though. I have a soft spot for her, Hosea.”

“I know you do, Dutch.”

“But I’m just wasting my time. I thought things would look up for us. I guess not.” He shook his head. “I’m going to bed.”

“You sure you don’t want to stay up and talk.”

“For once, I think I’ve done enough talking Hosea. I just want to lie down.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure after some sleep I’ll just be fine.”

At the park/Arthur’s pov

“Hey now, calm down.” Dreama was having a meltdown. I was coming in from fishing at the pond at the park. I didn’t catch nothing and that was just okay. I should have came earlier but I knew damn well I wasn’t here to fish, I was here to just clear my head. I was on my way back home and here was Dreama, screaming and crying and carrying on. I didn’t know what was going on but I can imagine it was Anders related. Dutch could never make her cry like this, she’d never allow it. “What’s the matter?”

“Dutch is an asshole! I asked him for help and he just...he sucks...Anders is going back to jail. Everything fucking sucks, Arthur!”

“What...what went on?”

“Too much. I hate everyone.”

“Hey now, you don’t mean that.”

“Yes I do.”

“No you don’t.” I sighed. “Come walk with me.”

“It’s late.”

“I know but just walk with me. You need to calm down. You are flying off the handle.”

“I’m upset”

“I get that but that’s no reason to be like this. Maybe Anders was never quite the best thing for you.”

“You sound like my father...and everyone else.”

“Yeah, because he’s not the best for you. Look at you right now. On a warpath over him and for what?  I know you love him I get that but people love alot of things that are not good for them. Like me and my alcohol. I love whiskey but no one said it’s good for me. Anders is like whiskey....but whiskey with a body count.”

“That don’t help, Arthur.”

“I think you need time to just....calm down. Be by yourself even. You never really are since you tend to drag around anyone who gives you attention. You need to find you.”

“I know who I am, Arthur.”

“No, you know who you are in the view of Anders. I don’t think you’ve seen yourself as yourself in years. He’s in jail and probably staying for a long time...you gotta move on....it would be good for you both.”

“I.......”

“I know it’s hard, kid. It’s for the best.”

[weraceasone]

Elle, tell me why I have to be a Max Verstappen fan since I’m Dutch? So on Twitter someone asked to tell where you’re from and who your favorite and least favorite driver(s) is/are. So I said I was Dutch and I’m a big fan of Lewis, the Twitch guys, Daniel and Seb. My least favorite driver is Max. All of sudden a whole orange wave of Max Verstappen fans came to attack me:

“you just a fangirl” (this comment is getting very boring *yawn*).

“you’re picking a driver based on looks that’s racist” (weird comment very very weird)

“Max Verstappen is better than your faves” (not completely true, but who cares? My favorite driver does not have to be the best. I would still be happy with one of them finishing on p11 lmao)

So I posted quick a follow up tweet saying that “I think he is a impressive driver but he is just not my fave.”

I feel like here in the Netherlands we’re only focused on Max (I get it but come one he is not the only driver on the grid). If we as a country would be a team we would be Red Bull since some us only care about one driver (get it, lol). And Ziggo Sport isn’t helping either. After every race I’m trying my best to catch a glimpse of a driver other than Max ��. Oh and last thing: The men at Ziggo Sport must keep the same energy for Max as the other driver. When he spins it's okay, but when others do they are bad drivers... Come on men. Again this is no disrespect to Max he is AMAZING (I feel like I should say this everytime otherwise I will get attacked). But I’m just not a big fan of him.

I choose a driver based on personality (which is maybe not a great way to do since having a great personality does not automatically makes you a great driver). But me not being a fan of Max should not make people this mad lol. Most of these drivers do not even know us!

This turned into a whole rant. I’m sorry but it was just getting to me. But let me end on a positive not; I love your blog, the content and you personality. Een hele fijne dag gewenst! Ik weet niet hoe het weer bij jou is, maar hier in Zandvoort schijnt het zonnetje een beetje dus ik ga ff lekker genieten heurrr.

hey Anon!

patriotism is a funny thing, isn’t it? in life we always tend to be drawn to people that we have something in common with. we are drawn to the feeling of unity, a sense of belonging. in these moments nothing else matters, apart from the fact we feel the same thing, have the same want. in the end it’s a bit of an illusion; what do I have in common with somebody who grew up in the other side of the country, with a different set of parents and a different set of people they were influenced by? next to nothing. Max Verstappen being a figurehead for our country is honestly a bit of an illusion too. he never lived here, never went to school here, doesn’t know the Dutch national anthem… it makes me wonder; how Dutch does that make him?

the feeling of being united is tightly linked together with a feeling of ‘being the best’. it’s something we always strive for in Dutch culture, no matter what we do, we have to be the best. we write songs about it and fight our whole lives to achieve the feeling and it somehow feels like everything is ruined when we can’t accomplish it. and the feeling of being the best often ends up with stomping anyone into the ground who dares to break that little bubble that we are living in. the realization that the Red Bull isn’t a championship-winning car, and probably won’t be for a while, is a painful one for a lot of people. I don’t think the Ziggo Sport F1 show is a good one. I’ve criticized them many times before for only focusing on Max, and completely forgetting about the other drivers. yet, it caters to the people’s needs. it’s what the Dutch people want to see. and if Max wasn’t doing well? well, then the show and the media attention wouldn’t be there.

the patriotism comes with a bitter taste of arrogance too. Max is a good driver, he really is. he probably will win that first Dutch World Championship one day and my dad will cry just like he cried when Max won his first race. it’s funny because somehow things like these only get paid attention to, you know; if the people in question are doing well. we never paid any attention to our Dutch national team in women’s football, we never cared about any of their results until they were beating other countries. somehow only the good side matters, while the bad side is something that we close our eyes to. when a football player does well, they are the someone we can look up to, someone we should admire, they are Dutch. when that same football player makes a mistake, a huge one, they aren’t any of those things. we resent them for not fitting into our mold. everything that is Dutch, is inherently good to us; everything that is not, is inherently less-good-even-sometimes-bad to us. there’s certain countries and cultures we can handle, but only if they look and act like us. Germans? they’re fine. Belgians? they are normal people; they are like us. I guess that’s the one thing that bothers me about it. about the patriotism. I’ve said it before, but I feel as if everything we do and say in sport, somehow finds a way to translate back into real life, if it hasn’t already. (we have become accustomed to the idea that this is how it should be. our culture and traditions are top tier, and anything or anyone that doesn’t represent that, is lesser than. how do we teach children that the color of their skin doesn’t matter, their accent doesn’t matter, where their parents are from doesn’t matter; when it somehow is reflected back onto everything that we do?) do I think patriotism is inherently bad? not necessarily. I just think that patriotism should not be synonymous with division. it shouldn’t become a competition of who does and who doesn’t fit into our ‘perfection’ mold. sport creates unity and it should be that way, regardless of which country you are from and which driver support. at the end of the day, we all watch this sport because we love it. and nothing else.

Anon, dankjewel voor de interessante vraag! hier in Amsterdam, dus niet al te ver van Zandvoort vandaan, scheen de zon ook heerlijk vandaag. ik wens je nog een fijne avond! 🧡 (oh, en later toegevoegd; vergat je helemaal te bedanken voor je lieve woorden over mijn blog en persoonlijkheid, dankjewel daarvoor!! ontzettend lief, het betekent echt veel voor me🧡)

[orsuliya]

My first reaction to all of this?

WHAT.

THE.

HELL.

You don’t need a whole-ass orc army complete with battering rams called Grond an army of that size to take the palace; covert and lightning fast is the way to go! Especially if you know how to find a secret passage leading straight into the Emperor’s bedroom. You know, as Song Huaien does! Is this just Song Huaien’s ego being let out to play? Does he really need to repeat Xiao Qi’s greatest hits, only bigger, better, with greater oomph and taking time to show off his numerous troops? Is that really it...?

Then I saw those two clowns on the battlements... and the puzzle started to make sense!

See, there is a reason why Daddy Wang let all those ministers go. And it’s not because he thought they would sit this whole mess out instead of doing what any somewhat conscientous civil servant would do. That is, organizing a defense of strategic points. See, they even roped general Wei in! Okay, Awu was the one to send him a message, but still! I hope she did remember to ask him to relay all the best wishes to his Awesome Mom...

Okay, but why this great production? Why this showy siege when you could just take the palace from within? Why surround the capital in such a way that Xiao Qi had to divide his own troops in order to break the blockade, even though you supposedly control the only great force in vicinity? Why, for heaven’s sake, let those ministers go, allowing them not only to mobilize their own troops, but also to smuggle the Emperor out, should they wish to do so. They didn’t bother with saving Zitan, but they totally could have in the time that Song Huaien took to arrange his toy soldiers in pretty rows! It’s almost like Daddy Wang wanted this bombastic, unnecessarily complicated performance instead of a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am approach that would work just as fine while consuming a fraction of the resources.

And this is just it. Daddy Wang needs his coup to be HUGE. He needs to be seen. He desperately needs to make his one attempt into the biggest BOO! in the world. Because right now? He’s a dead man, a ghost story come back to life. And ghosts are the best fodder for rumours. If he wants to avoid a situation in which half the provinces keep WTF-ing and scrabbling for information while he tries to demand taxes, he’s on the right track.

But that’s not the only reason, even if Daddy Wang is really, really into this whole saying Boo! thing. See, public perception matters. And all those distant Ma cousins are merely careful, not dead. Let’s say that Daddy Wang takes power in a more discreet manner and announces his ascension to all and sundry. What would stop every single viable claimant in Cheng from coming after his head? Xiao Qi and his army have officially peaced out to Ningshuo, remember? Potato’s alleged edict isn’t worth the paper it’s been written on, if there’s nothing to back it up. What is Daddy Wang supposed to do in that case, send everybody a cute explanation of how he totally has an army, just ask Song Huaien? They will, you know. They will ask him... how much would it cost for him and his army to switch sides.

Daddy Wang is basically puffing up in order to look much bigger and much more threatening than he really is. He’s showing off that he has claws, fangs and thousands of swords, while at the same time marking Song Huaien as his. See, he is proudly announcing, I too have an army of my own and the guy leading it is so totally on my leash that he didn’t even hesitate before storming the imperial palace. What a good boy! Careful, he bites.

And you know what, it’s not a half-bad plan, although not even half as good as keeping Golden Ticket and setting him up as a figurehead. But it could have worked... IF. If is the key word here.

[lovelessmako]

This is a demon/exophilia love story I've been working on that I thought I'd share here. If people seem to like it then I'll add more.

Ve

Chapter One:

Kivet laughed inwardly as blood and adrenaline rolled off his dark form in waves. The thrill of the chase. Watching a child cling to you, begging you to let them go as the light slowly leaves their eyes. This was what he was created for. He was a peacekeeper between the different species. It was his job to keep the status quo in any way possible. If that meant killing children because a fae dared to have a child with a human, then that was what he had to do. Afterall, mutts were incapable of kindness or love. Sure, they could fake it quite convincingly, even Kivert himself would've fallen for it had he not been taught the truth, but it was impossible for them to experience any pleasant emotions. If Kivet enjoyed his job then that was nobody's business but his own. Everyone needed to stick to their own people. Only the Ve, which he was, could leave their lands.

Sometimes people would send messengers to other species in order to broker peace. Kivet hated those. Scared, unarmed, diplomats with enough medals to make you go blind as they reflected the sun. They didn't deserve those. He always made sure nothing arrived and would leave a bloodied medal behind as a warning. He would keep the others, of course. They were rather good quality and he had quite the collection coming along. He had no idea what they stood for but surely he deserved them more than their original owners.

Kivet set to work wiping his claws off on a rag he kept in his pocket. He frowned slightly when he saw that the blood had reached there as well. So much for clean hands. He gave up and settled for sitting with his back against a tree and admiring his work. Even in their last moments, the two criminals had held each other and tried to shield the child. That's commitment, he'll give them that. Maybe they thought it would gain his sympathy. Dumb. It did make him a bit lonely though. If such scum found someone to play along with their ruse, then why was a hero forced to work alone? He wasn't forced per say, but his old partner had fallen for an orphaned mutt's tricks and had to be put down. It was unfortunate, Suvo was pretty good at his job. He had even told Kivet that what they were doing was wrong! Saving lifes is wrong? What an ass! No, he reminded himself, it was that mutt's fault. Suvo had younger siblings and the creature looked similar to one. Meanwhile, Kivet had never been around children except for when he was in school.

He gathered himself and started in to the nearest town. Kivet could use something to eat, and there were always mutts scatted about to kill. It was disturbing how many there were. Why do people insist on disobeying the natural order of things? The strangest part was how many purebreds supported the movement. The town wasn't too far of a walk, and his shadowy wings were still a bit sore from the long flight over, so he didn't mind walking. The land was nice enough, a dirt path with a small lake to the right and wilting forest to his left. There were some huts in groups of 3 or 4 every now and then; It seems the humans were not advanced enough to feel safe living alone yet. It made sense, they were a very fragile species, very easy to injure; even by accident. They also contracted illnesses often and usually died from them. And, even if they managed to be extremely careful, their lifespan was still very short. Most species told tales of these weak creatures and used them as examples of the good alliances between species would do. They were nothing more than figureheads, however. Something that would be cast aside when no longer needed.

Humans were the worst when it came to mutts. They found fae and elves to be attractive for some reason. He could see it from a procreation standpoint; every parent wants their children to be powerful. But what did the others gain? Maybe humans had special bonding rituals that they preformed in order to create children. That could be interesting. Not that it would ever be possible for a Ve, even if it was allowed. He was reminded of that time and time again as humans ran or hid from him. "Nightmare. Demon. Bad omen. Monster," he had heard it all.

This time, however, the humans seemed to be crowding around a figure on the ground. He hissed loudly, causing them to scatter and leave the body. He crouched nearby, not caring about the pool of blackened blood that was leaking from a bashed in skull. This was a Ve. A wing had been torn off along with their hands, likely for grizzly trophies. Something caught his eye behind their ear. Kivet yanked out the sharp object to see a steady, blinking, red light. A tracker. This wasn't a Ve that had gotten out of line and needed to be put down. They were hunted. He growled and glared around at the humans. No, not one of them. They were much too timid; many crying already. Entire towns had been decimated for less serious offenses.

If someone was hunting Ve then Kivet needed to be safe. While Ve normally had a solid form, they could take on a shadowy apperation that couldn't be harmed. Unfortunately they couldn't harm anyone either. An even trade off. It also took effort. Not a lot, but it would surely add up. He weighed his options. He couldn't eat while in that form so he would have to drop it for those moments. But waiting a few days to eat could help. It would be a lot easier if he had a partner that could help by taking turns keeping watch. But they would just be hit instead. Maybe he could trick a troll into protecting him. They're a good 3-4 feet taller than him and bright blue; an easy target. But that would mean putting up with a troll. And he didn't even speak their language. Not worth it.

"Are you alright, sir?" Kivet jumped, how could he have let a human sneak up on him like that?! They continued, ignoring his suprise, "it's a pretty gruesome sight."

"Don't talk to me." He went ignored.

"Did you know them?"

"Why are you still talking to me?!"

"Its still sad, even if you didn't. I know if I saw a human like that I'd likely take my own life from the trauma."

Why didn't this human-? Wait, they probably couldn't understand him. Humans had a spoken language, not psychic. Kivet remembered studying that back in Academy; they had to choose a language and it seemed the easiest.

"Fine," he choked out, voice scratchy and broken from lack of use. The human apparently took that as emotion and placed their hand on his shoulder. He hissed in warning, but it wasn't removed.

"Why don't you come inside? I'm not sure if you can digest the same things as us, but I made some nice potato soup. Its chilly today as well. I already have a fire going inside."

Why was this human being nice to him? They didn't even know his name. Hell, he didn't even know their gender; humans were difficult to ascertain with their lack of horns or spikes. He considered the offer. On one hand, he had come to the village for food, and while he wasn't affected by the weather, seeing such a mutilated corpse sent shivers down his back. He was reminded of what his father told him when he started school, "Don't trust anyone, regardless of species or blood relation."

"Sounds lonely."

He startled, not realizing that he had spoken it aloud. "Its all I've ever known." Lie. He had traveled with Suvo for 3 years before the incident. "Find me another Ve and I'll consider changing my mind," he tried to joke. It probably sounded too serious in his underused voice.

"You'll be pretty hard-pressed to find another." A tall fae with tanned skin and a whimsical voice pranced over to them, feet light and airy. Humans referred to Fae as the opposite of Ve. Kivet hated them. Even more than mutts.

"Oh, don't give me that look, demon. I come with news." Kivet continued to glare. How dare he speak to him! "The Ve were attacked a few weeks ago. Whole towns wiped out. Only a handful of you guys remain and they're hunting you down." Who? He was too confused to ask. Ve were untouchable. Heroes who used their strength for good. Why would someone attack? How could they lose? "The Golems." The Fae seemed to understand the unspoken question. "They asked the Fae to join them but our queen refused. The last time we angered Ve our capital was destroyed. So much unnecessary death."

"Just tell me what happened already!" Kivet was getting fed up with this stupid voice already.

He shrugged, a human expression, "that's all I know. My guess is a full frontal assault. Ve are good at tactics, but you lack- what was the word? Oh yeah-strength." That was a blow and he knew it. The Ve were all about strength. They were the best when it came to 1-on-1 fights. Then other species had to invent blades and spears. Kivet, like most Ve, refused to use them. They were a crutch. He hated to believe what a fucking Fae was telling him, but it added up. Golems were known to be able to track anything; relentless hunters. Now he knows it was all thanks to tiny machines.

"Serves you right! The Ve should've be wiped out centuries ago." The Fae laughed. Stupid, musical laughter. Kivet couldn't take it! He lunged at the taller man, causing them to fall to the ground. They seemed shocked and caught off guard. Kivet spread his wings threateningly and hissed in his face, taking joy in seeing the spots of saliva that splattered that stupid, perfect face. The human seemed to be saying something, but all Kivet saw was red. His instincts tuned out all other distractions and focused on their prey. He tried to let out a threatening laugh, but it only sounded broken with emotion. "Not strong, huh? Then what does that say about you?"

The Fae relaxed suddenly, much to his confusion. "Hear that? The Golems are coming." And they were. Their heavy footfalls could be heard not too far away. Likely near where Kivet had left the mutt and it's parent's bodies. He acted solely on instinct and shot off flying towards the sound of the noise. He had to see it for himself. His wings burned from the effort, not used to going faster than a leisurely pace. He stumbled in the air when one popped. Likely a sprain or dislocation, not broken. He fought through the pain until he heard the voices nearly under him. He landed on a sturdy tree branch and started to leap his way across to get a better view, yet be less visible. He didn't know much of their language, but he could pick out a few words "Troll. Her. Reward." They weren't tracking a Ve afterall! But who was this Troll? Someone important for the Golems to make a special trip. Maybe a criminal? Didn't matter. They could kill her for all he cared. Wasn't his problem.

Wait, then why was that Fae in a human village if not to warn him? The fucker came up with some random story to district him from his job! A Fae in a human village was very clearly against the rules. He inwardly scolded himself for not realizing earlier. Oh, he was going to pay!

Kivet turned to move, forgetting about his hurt wing, and stumbled slightly. The rustling attracted the attention of one of the Golems. He froze as he was stared directly in the eye. Neither made a move for what felt like forever. Another Golem said something to the one watching him who then turned his attention away. This was the perfect opportunity to run! So why couldn't he move? The one who had spotted him said something about a bird before the group continued on their way. Did a Golem just cover for him!? Wait, why would that be shocking? Ve had important jobs and couldn't afford to be distracted by insignificant creatures. Surely that was public knowledge by now.

He should really go after that one Fae, but right now he was just too tired, rules be damned. He doubted he could sleep with all that had happened in the past few hours. It seemed like weeks had passed since he last awoke. He wrapped himself into a snug position and closed his eyes.

[anankos]

ok this run is TECHNICALLY just for gameplay funsies, but I really gotta wonder at what the average Deliverance ground-pounder thought about this whole thing. Like.

You sign up for the rebellion because screw Desaix; some of the nobles are high-handed and obnoxious, but that’s to be expected honestly. At least you’re getting paid.

And yeah, the last batch of recruits Lukas brought in are on the young side (None of them had even been blooded before setting out to rendezvous with the rest of the resistance at the Deliverance base. It’s an uncomfortable thought.), but they’re competent enough- it’s obvious they've had some formal training... somehow, since apparently most of them come from families of sheep farmers.

Then Clive makes one of the kids- who is apparently some old general’s grandson?- the Deliverance leader, and wow does that smack of a figurehead meant to appeal to the commoners that make up the vast majority of the rebellion. You’re illiterate, but you aren’t stupid. Still, Alm is a nice kid, for all that it’s obvious war is in his blood.

So eventually Desaix goes splat, the Rigelian prince (Supposedly he’s 17 and already general- Rigel starts their nobles young, and their officers are promoted on martial prowess, but knowing royalty, you think there was probably nepotism involved) gets chased back to Rigel, and the pushback from the Deliverance extends into the empire. You stick around because well, you need to feed your family somewhere, since your farm got torn up by the army. It’s frustratingly cold in Rigel, and it just gets worse the further north you travel. It’s plain unfair that Alm (does he even have a title?) is doing just fine frolicking about in just his gambeson and trousers, not even shivering. It’s at least fun to hear his friends rib the lad about how he must be some kind of cold-blooded Rigelian beastie, being so comfortable in the snow and consistently being floored by southern Ram summers.

(You think about how he looks a bit different compared to his friends- the color of his hair, his build, the slant of his eyes- and you think about the “Archanean” immigrants you’ve met who are clearly from Rigel in actuality. And you wonder about the truth of their friendly mockery.)

Emperor Rudolf is the scariest guy you’ve ever seen, and you steer clear in order to preserve your own hide. But you’re close enough to see Alm drive his sword under the emperor’s raised arm, and you’re close enough to see the kid freeze and break down like the world was crashing down around him. You don’t see much of him after that- you let his friends take care of that while you and a few other nearby people move the dead emperor off the battlefield for burial; there’s no need to to anger the gods even more by leaving one of their own bloodline unconsecrated.

And then you hear news from very reliable sources. And apparently the entire imperial household, who had been informed of this. The seventeen winters old imperial prince, who invaded his own country. Uncrowned emperor. Kinslayer. The image presented by castle rumors and gossip doesn’t match up to reality at all, you know, and the air in Rigel Castle remains fearful and despondent.

So anyways that’s how a Deliverance trooper sniffs out the cellar and gets absolutely wasted on wine, because this is way above their paygrade. Literally.

[olliedollie1204]

what if moxiety talked about their issues and also deceit is there

spoilers for “Are There Healthy Distractions?”

this is a weird concept that got out of hand but hear me out. i wrote a scene that could have taken place in ATHD, picking up around 6:28 and replacing the scene up until 7:17. i’ve seen people worried that a) Patton and Virgil were somewhat tense with each other in this video, and b) Deceit wasn’t at movie night. ironically, i don’t think either of these things necessarily imply angst in canon, BUT i still came up with an idea of how to address both of these in one lil fic!

straight up tho, I genuinely think that, between the writing, acting, and editing combined, ATHD is one of the most impressive videos in the entire sanders sides canon (second only to Learning New Things About Ourselves). i’m beyond thrilled that the team is experimenting with new concepts and ideas!! it rocks man!!

word count: 2,553

“No, should Thomas be staying home right now?”

“Well, Virgil, Thomas made his decision, and I think we should all just try to settle into it.”

Virgil looked at Patton for a beat longer before bringing his gaze back to the screen. “Hm.”

The silence thickened in the room, with the musical number happening on screen somehow not seeming loud enough.

Patton broke it first. “I hope you’re not... blaming yourself?”

“I-” Virgil’s eyes widened slightly, but he quickly pulled back into his normal expression. “I don’t know. I mean, I am the one who pulled the plug on our party plans.”

“Nice alliteration,” Logan mumbled, eyes glued to the screen.

Virgil darted his eyes to Logan, lips quirking briefly. “Thanks. But, uh,” he continued, looking down at his clasped hands, “I mean, I could maybe understand if you think that, uh, someone else should... you know.” He shrugged lightly, meeting Patton’s eyes. “Shoulder the blame?”

“Nope!” Patton answered far too quickly. He tried to cover up his mistake with a light laugh. “I-I mean, I just wanted to check how you’re feeling.”

Virgil looked disappointed. “Oh.”

“Uh, Pat, I’m confused.” Roman leaned forward to look at Patton quizzically. “Do you want Virgil to blame himself, or not?”

Patton’s expression turned slightly panicked. “Of course I don’t want him to blame himself!”

“Of course Patton doesn’t want Virgil to blame himself.” Deceit’s voice rang out from his position against the wall, near where Patton stood for videos. He had a sleeping bag pulled against his chest as he reclined, able to see both the TV and the sides on the couch simultaneously.

Virgil’s eyes narrowed. Patton blinked in confusion.

“I don’t,” he said uneasily.

Deceit smirked. “And why would you? It’s not like he’s the one controlling our dear Thomas’ emotional state or anything.”

“Actually, although Patton is technically the figurehead of Thomas’ emotions, Virgil’s presence has a significant enough impact to influence his emotional state at any given time,” Logan stated plainly, too distracted by the surprisingly enthralling movie to detect the tension in the current conversation.

“Especially in this instance,” he continued, unaware of Roman making a horribly unsubtle throat-slashing gesture from the other side of the couch, “when the inciting incident of Thomas’ current anxiety was actually caused by his moral outrage, which is ironic, given the proximity of Virgil and Patton’s friendship-”

“Oh-kay, hey!” Roman interjected with faux cheer, finally catching Logan’s eye, causing him to falter. “I think we should all just... watch the movie! All of us!”

He jerked his head in Deceit’s direction, hoping beyond hope that Logan would understand the universal signal for “stop giving this guy ammunition to work against us, Logan, please stop talking, for once!”

Logan’s eyes widened slightly. Message received. “Ah. Apologies for interrupting, Roman. I would hate to miss a moment of this... fantastical, frivolous film.”

“Well, isn’t this interesting?” Deceit asked, ignoring Roman and Logan’s attempt at changing the subject. “I guess, in this case, the side to be blamed for causing poor Thomas all this trouble is... both of you.” He grinned, eyeing the two sides in question. “Funny how that happens.”

“Lay off, Deceit,” Virgil muttered, crossing his arms as he tried to watch the screen. “Don’t bring him into this.”

“Virgil...” Patton started, but couldn’t finish. He didn’t know what he wanted to say. He just didn’t like the way Virgil was curled in on himself. An uncomfortable, unidentifiable feeling wormed into Patton’s stomach.

“Go on, Patton. Do finish your thought,” Deceit pushed. “How do you feel about Virgil blaming himself for all this trouble?”

Virgil tightened his grip on his arms.

“I don’t think Virgil should blame himself,” Patton mumbled, feeling the pain in his stomach worsen. He wished Deceit would just drop it.

“So, he should blame you then?”

Virgil glared at Deceit. “Don’t.”

“I mean, look at him, Patton. Our dear friend Virgil isn’t handling this well at all.”

“I’m handling it just fine,” Virgil snapped.

“Oh, truly, of course you are. Because ‘handling’ a difficult social interaction by becoming a hermit is the image of stability.”

Roman scoffed. “One impromptu movie night does not make Thomas a hermit!”

“Indeed,” Logan added. “A hermit is one who lives in solitude as a practice of religious discipline. Unless Thomas has decided to become a devout follower of Idina Menzel, he does not fit the criterion.”

Roman looked pensive. “Well-”

“That was not a suggestion, Roman.”

“Can we all just stop talking about it?” Virgil said in a raised tone. “I know I’m the fuck up here, I’m sorry I ruined our plans, and I blame myself.” He turned to Deceit, eyes narrowed. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Deceit smiled and opened his mouth to speak again. Patton looked at the pain on Virgil’s face, and made his decision.

“Virgil should be blaming me,” he announced, setting his mug down harder than necessary. “I caused all of this. It’s all my fault.”

All of the sides’ attention went to Patton. The pain in his stomach intensified greatly.

Virgil was stunned into silence.

Finally, Deceit smirked. “Well, Patton, I’m thrilled at your confession,” he said, breaking the silence. “Although frankly, it took much longer than it should have. I think I can speak for Virgil when I say-”

“You do not ever speak for me,” Virgil said forcefully, whipping around to face him.

“Oh, really?” Decit replied, folding his arms and peering at Virgil. “So you don’t blame Patton for what you’re feeling right now?”

Patton inhaled sharply, and waited for Virgil’s response. There was an uncomfortable pause before Virgil huffed, rolling his eyes.

“I’m not explaining myself to you.”

Deceit gasped. “Ooh, a non-answer to my rhetorical question! Bold new strategy.”

“Deceit, if I may. What do you stand to gain from this confrontation?”

“Me? Why, I’m not looking to gain anything! Really, I’m just looking out for Thomas.”

“Yeah, if ‘looking out for Thomas’ means ‘being a dick until everyone feels bad and movie night is ruined’.”

“I don’t believe I should have to explain that that is not what ‘looking out for Thomas’ means, Roman.”

Belatedly, Patton realized what the unfamiliar feeling in his stomach was. It wasn’t guilt from hurting Virgil. It wasn’t regret from hurting Thomas. It was a deeper, more personal shame.

“But I’m sure Thomas is just so glad to finally know that he can’t trust his own heart to not let him down,” Deceit continued, unfettered. “Truthfully, it’s about time.”

Virgil slammed his fists down onto his thighs. “Can you stop lying?”

Deceit chuckled maliciously. “No. Now, Patton-”

“Wait,” Logan interjected, hand raised. “Do you mean- was that a ‘no’, as in, ‘no, I can’t stop lying’, in which case your truthful answer of ‘no’ was a lie- but if that was a lie, then the truthful answer is ‘yes’, as in, ‘yes, I can stop lying’, which, your answer of ‘no’ then would contradict that fact-”

The deceptive side blinked. “I- what? Shut up... what?”

“Yeah, that one made my head hurt,” Roman added.

“I lied! I’m sorry!” Patton’s outburst stopped the other sides in their tracks. Again, everyone turned to look at the moral side- Logan and Roman with trepidation, Virgil with disbelief, and Deceit with a smug satisfaction.

“You lied?” Virgil replied dully.

“Not about the ‘I-don’t-want-you-to-blame-yourself’ part,” Patton added hastily. “But...”

He bit his lip slightly, eyes furtively darting around, before taking a deep breath and meeting Virgil’s gaze again.

“But I don’t want to be blamed either,” he said with uncharacteristic somberness.

Roman and Logan exchanged glances. Virgil kept his eyes locked on Patton.

Patton fiddled with his mug before continuing. “I- I know it’s irrational,” he continued. “It’s... illogical and unfair to try to absolve myself of any blame. But I just feel like... you guys don’t get how much this hurt me- me, specifically,” he emphasized. “I mean, obviously it hurt us all. But it’s not just the fact that Rico used to hold different beliefs. It’s- it’s knowing that he used to condemn both Thomas’ most personal moral beliefs, and his core emotions. I mean, his morals and emotions? That’s literally my entire thing!”

Patton felt himself getting worked up again. He tightened his grip on his mug, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I shouldn’t have taken over like I did.”

The other sides stayed silent. They all remembered the conversation with Rico, the sick moment of realization at what he was admitting to, how Logan had attempted to rationalize Thomas’ response but was almost physically pushed aside as Patton rose to the forefront of his mind. Patton’s anger, sharp and cold, and the way he couldn’t stop, even as Logan and Virgil and even Roman tried to calm him.

The way Virgil begged Patton to stop, stop, before he’d do something he’d regret. The way Patton, for the first time in a long time, refused to hold back out of fear of the consequences of speaking from the (figurative) heart.

And now, this evening. How Patton couldn’t take it back. How Virgil couldn’t let it go.

Patton forced himself to meet Virgil’s eyes. The anxious side stared back, unblinking.

“I hate that this is hurting you so badly. I really, really hate it, and I’m sorry. But I can’t lie and say that I regret it. I don’t. I can’t.”

Another silence. The high-pitched cartoon voices continued to blare from the TV. Patton found, with some small relief, that his stomach no longer hurt.

Everyone was looking at Virgil, whose fists were digging into his thighs. The hood from his onesie had fallen slightly over his face; Patton could no longer see his expression.

After what felt like an eternity, Virgil’s fists unclenched.

“...Thank you for your honesty, Patton.”

Patton looked at Virgil with wide eyes. The latter straightened up slightly, pushing his hood back to look at Patton directly. Deceit quirked a brow, but Virgil continued before he could speak.

“Of course I’m glad that you stood up for what you believe in. You are Thomas’ heart, and it wouldn’t be fair to you if you couldn’t stand up for yourself.” As Virgil spoke, he ran his hands across his thighs, letting the texture of his skeleton onesie calm him.

“Your reaction may not have been the best, but you did the right thing. And I’m not mad at you. But if I can also be honest,” he added, cutting a glare to Deceit before returning his gaze to Patton, “you did put Thomas- me, specifically- in a difficult situation. And I know that wasn’t your intent, but I’m not gonna lie. It kinda sucks right now.”

Patton twisted his mouth into a grimace before looking down at his mug. “I get that, Virge,” he said softly.

Virgil softened in return. “I don’t blame you, Patton... at least, not just you,” he added, eyes flicking away from Patton’s for a moment. “I just need some time to work through this whole thing.”

The two sides looked at each other. Logan and Roman leaned forward slightly, ready to intervene if this olive branch was not accepted.

Finally, Virgil offered Patton a sad smile. Patton hesitated, then returned it. The two broke their gaze, looking down at their respective laps.

Another silence. Logan and Roman side-eyed each other, similar expressions of surprise on their faces.

“Wow, Virgil,” Deceit suddenly drawled. “What impressive conflict resolution. Truly, you’ve made us all so proud.”

“Okay, Two-Face, you know what?” Roman interjected in annoyance, leaning forward to meet Deceit’s eyes. “It’s one thing to instigate conflict between two of my best friends for no good reason-”

“Thanks, Princey,” Patton said, giving him an appreciative smile.

“-But what’s more, you’ve been talking forever and I’ve missed far too much dialogue already!”

“Thanks, Princey,” Virgil muttered, giving him a thumbs up.

“Do you want to be excused? Is that it? You want to be released from the terrible punishment that is movie night?” Roman flopped back on his throne of pillows, waving his arm exasperatedly. “I just thought it’d be nice to spend some time together when you’re not being a jerk, but if you want to leave-”

Deceit gasped, one hand coming to rest on his cheek. “No, Roman, why would I want to leave? I love the thought of being stuck out here with you nerds watching ‘Frozen’ for the dozenth time.” As he spoke, Deceit rose from his spot against the wall, making sure to block everyone’s view of the screen as he crossed the room to the staircase. “It’s not like I voted to watch ‘Coco’ or anything.”

Logan sipped his iced coffee. “Remus is back there.”

“Hey.” The intrusive side appeared just as Deceit made it to the bottom of the stairs.

“Oh my God-” Deceit reeled backwards before catching himself on the railing. “Oh, fuck. You gotta- you gotta stop doing that, man.”

“But you’re a liar!” Remus replied gleefully. “So you’re telling me to keep doing it! Right?”

“Oh, for fuck’s- I can’t. I just can’t deal with you tonight.” With that, Deceit turned and went up the stairs, giving an exasperated sigh as he exited.

The sides were quiet once again.

“You know, I’m not surprised he’s a fan of ‘Coco’,” Roman remarked idly. “That- that seems right.”

~Later~

“Olaf fully melts by the fire while accompanying a dying Anna,” Roman started, with a rapidly building enthusiasm. Although Logan would not have necessarily elected for Thomas to spend the next few hours rewriting a children’s film to be more narratively satisfying, he did have to admit that he was pleased that the creative side seemed to be taking his suggestion to heart.

Speaking of heart, Logan peered at Patton on the floor. He was fully engaged in Roman’s brainstorming, making all of the appropriate response faces for the situation. He was so engaged, in fact, that he did not seem to notice Virgil tapping his back with a socked foot.

Logan noticed. Tuning Roman out, he attempted to subtly observe as Virgil managed to get Patton’s attention.

The moral side looked over his shoulder; although his face was partly obscured by the angle, Logan could still make out his worried expression. Virgil’s spiral earlier had been troubling for several reasons, not least of which was the fact that he directly referenced how Patton was a factor in his anxiety. Logan wondered, not for the first time, if the two sides’ friendship was genuinely mutually beneficial. They had found themselves at odds before, of course- all of them had, at one point or another. Despite their strengths, Patton and Virgil were both highly emotionally charged, which could serve as either a benefit or a hindrance when the two worked together.

Logan watched as Patton mouthed something unidentifiable to Virgil. Virgil nodded, inhaling slowly and releasing the breath. Another pause, then Virgil gave Patton a small thumbs up.

Patton’s lips quirked up in a relieved smile. He returned the gesture.

Logan saw as both of the sides relaxed, the tension leaving their bodies almost visible, before the two turned back to debate the merits of Roman’s ‘Frozen’ fanfic.

The logical side grinned to himself, fixing his tie. Maybe his fellow sides could help each other, after all.