#but it's done! yay angst

[egginfroggin]

Happy New Year, here's an unpolished comic about a 12-year-old having a breakdown over space peanuts with his great-aunt

Ford, sweetie, I love you, but your glasses (and that sixth finger) are going to be the death of me

Mabel, you're fine, except for your boots, why did I give you fuzzy boots, fuzz is hard

Transcription below; please let me know if I should put it under a cut, and thank you for reading! Happy New Year ^^

Mabel: "Here, try these." "You've been missing Earth foods, right?"

Ford: "?" "What are they?"

Mabel: "Nuts! They taste just like peanuts."

Mabel: "Well, almost. They're a bit sweeter, like they're candied!" "They keep pretty well, too!" "We could get a bunch to go..." "...?"

Mabel: "Hey, what's wrong, Pine Nut? Are those ones bad?"

Ford: "..." "... No, it's not that..." "Lee always liked toffee peanuts... these taste just like them."

Ford: "... Lee would love these."

Mabel: "..." "Well, then, we'll have to pick up some more before we get you home, then, won't we?"

Ford: "... Yeah..."

(program: Krita; time taken: about 8 hours 30 minutes)

[achromaticegoist]

BABY HOTLINE GRAVITY FALLS

YIPPEEEEEE

[seokminfilm]

assumptions (act three) | lee seokmin

part: 3 of 3 (part 1 here, and part 2 here)

word count: 1.8k words

No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get your head off of the Major Baseball League pitcher Lee Seokmin.

You had left his house early the next morning, too nervous to face him after the unexpected confession. Even though your heart said yes, your brain said no, and you followed it, going as far away as you could from him and his lavish apartment.

He was so perfect—almost too perfect, in a way. Seokmin had apparently fallen in love with you after only one day of being with you, and you and he both knew how ridiculous the thought was. How could anyone fall in love in just a day? Were all of the feelings you were feeling towards him even real? Could you even call this love?

As you sipped your warm coffee, your heart felt cold, always returning to the thought that kept your mind most occupied— Seokmin's lips on yours.

It would be a lie if you said you didn't miss him, but what could you do? Run back to him and tell him how much you missed him? How sorry you were for doubting him and leaving him alone? What could you do to make it better? Make it seem like you weren't taking him for granted and leaving him all alone—just like how you found him?

Before you knew it, tears were dropping on the napkin under your cup, and you weren't bothered to catch them, silently weeping for the love you had found.

The love you had left.

Seokmin was on the field bright and early today, striking the ball with sharp precision as his coach cheered for him and his accuracy.

It was a funny thing—when Seokmin was angry, he did better in everything than usual, and most people didn't complain if they got a sharp glare or a few curse words from the pitcher, as long as he was doing well.

It bothered Seokmin more, knowing that no one was concerned about how he was doing or how his mental health was.

He was angry—angry because you had gotten up and left without a warning or goodbye. Angry because you had seemingly led him on all this time, hearing him pour out his feelings late into the night and watching him become vulnerable around you, just to disappear into society again without a trace.

Did he mean anything to you? Did you think about him just as much as he thought about you, striking the ball a bit harder every time your sweet laugh echoed through his head? Did you crave his touch just like he did yours, wishing your fingertips were dancing along his skin and threading through his hair?

"Seokmin, hey. I think that's enough batting for today. You look stressed." His PR manager had called his name from the sidelines, and he obliged, throwing his bat to the ground as he stormed off into the dugout below.

"Do you want water or anything? You look—" "No." Seokmin was quick to stop his PR manager's sentence, and she nodded bashfully, giving him a quick rundown of the game later today before she sighed, looking at him once again.

"You may want to go home and clear your head. You'll be getting television interviews today, and I don't want you to have an attitude that they'll read as disrespectful." The female turns on her heel, leaving the dressing room before she stops, turning around to Seokmin once more. "Think about what you do before you do it, Seokmin."

With a quiet shut of the door, Seokmin is left alone to himself, stripping himself of his equipment as he bursts out of the room just seconds later.

His body is warm with anger, and it's bubbling out into his voice and face, eyes unnecessarily sharp and voice hard as he said a quick goodbye to his teammates. Seokmin made his way to his car, hands tense as he gripped the steering wheel. He fell silent, head hitting the wheel bluntly as he groaned.

Where were you when he needed you?

As Seokmin turned on the car and backed out of his parking spot, he thought of you, wondering where you could be.

Even though you and he had just met almost two days ago, there was something magical about you that Seokmin couldn't let go of. You made him feel alive, and it was something so special and so real that he craved more of it. He craved more of you.

His phone burned in his pocket, hand itching to grab it and call your number that he had saved the morning after you spend the night with him. You had told him he could call or text you anytime he needed something, but he wondered if that offer was still in place?

Could Seokmin call you if he needed something—could he call you if that something was you?

Day had turned into night, and you found yourself staring mindlessly at the television. Replays of the baseball game earlier were playing on the screen, and even though you weren't paying attention to the words, Seokmin's face did enough for you.

You couldn't recognize him for a second—even though his face was the same, the smile on his face that he wore didn't reach his eyes, and you could tell. You didn't know if you really knew him like you thought you did, but you were sure that his eyes sparkled when his smile was real.

Or at least they did when he was smiling at you.

Feeling as if you were going to throw up if you stared at the television screen any longer, you stood up, walking to the kitchen as you got a glass of water. Your phone lay untouched on the countertop, and you stared at it as if you were waiting for someone's call.

"Fuck," You sighed, turning away to stare out of the tiny window that overlooked your sink. The sky was pretty tonight, dark space above you littered with pretty stars that twinkled in time with your heart. You had gotten lost in the brightest star above you, watching it with intent as you sipped at your water.

And then, your phone rang.

You scrambled to it faster than you would have liked to admit, and tears welled up in your eyes as you read the name. Seokmin was in italicized letters on the screen, and you rushed to answer it, voice already betraying you as you let out a sob.

"Where—where are you?" Seokmin's voice was hurried, as if he was running somewhere. The cadence of his voice hadn't changed, and you covered your mouth, trying to stifle the sobbing from your lips.

"At home." You answered, and he sighed, the sound of his door being shut as the engine cranked on a few seconds later. "I'm coming home. Send me your address."

The way he said 'home' made it feel like it was a place that belonged to both of you. It made your heart race and your stomach get butterflies, but you did what he said, sending your address as he sighed into the speaker, breath rushing into your ear.

"I'm coming, okay. I'm coming." Seokmin hung up quickly, and you let the phone drop from your ear, tears flowing from your eyes.

You didn't know how to feel anymore—you were scared, angry, relieved, and so many other emotions that you couldn't name. Seokmin made you unsure of everything, and as much as you loved it, you also hated it. Why was he coming to see you? Why did he sound so in a hurry? Did you actually mean that much to him?

You were getting your hopes up, but you could dream, couldn't you?

Seokmin sped down the street, heart racing as the motor of his car sped up. The chilly wind beat his face as his hair tickled his nose, but he couldn't stop the tears from gathering at his eyes.

How did he try to spend his life without you by his side? How did he let you leave him without an explanation like that?

It may be selfish, and it may be stupid, but he needed you. He needed you like he needed water—like he needed air.

Seokmin needed you. He needed you.

As he pulled into the driveway of your small apartment, the desperation got stronger as he sprinted out of his car, nearly pounding the door in as he did the last bit of waiting he hoped he'd ever have to do to you again.

The door opened slowly, and your puffy, wet face met his vision for the first time in what seemed to be lifetimes. His hands went to your waist, and yours to his hair, and before you or him could even say a word or register what you were doing, your lips were on his and he was sobbing into your mouth.

"Please—please don't ever leave me again. I need you." Seokmin's voice was nothing more than a weep now, and he clung to your shirt as if you were a raft, the only sturdy thing in his turbulent sea.

Your tears fell on Seokmin's soft lips, pulling away as you buried your face in his chest. He kissed your forehead softly, hands running up and down your back as he kissed and kissed you, again and again.

"You need me?" You pulled away from his chest, snot running from your nose and your eyes red as he cupped your wet cheek in his large hand, slender fingers wiping the tears away gently as he nodded.

"Yes, of course I do." He answered sweetly, leaning into you as you gripped at his hair again.

"But—but we met in such little time. We only knew each other for a day—how are you sure that you love me? You're not lying to me, are you? Are the feelings you have for me real?" Your eyes are welling up with tears again, but Seokmin catches everyone with a soft kiss, making you smile as he nods.

“Trust me, they’re real. I’m just as surprised and confused as you are, but I know they are real, and they belong to me. You belong to me. Even though we met in a strange situation and only got to know each other a few days ago, I still know that I love you and want you. You can call me crazy, insane, or gullible—call me whatever you like. The longer I am away from you, the more I find that I need you." Seokmin says softly, lips brushing against yours again as you sigh against him.

"Seokmin..." The tears are flowing again, but this time, it's because you're happy.

Happy to know that even if you still felt like it was a dream that was too perfect, it was your reality, with all the imperfections both you and Seokmin had to bring to the table.

The assumptions you made about the superficial relationship you believed you both had changed now, and you felt new, complete with the man that you met that had changed your life in one lonely night.

So much for assumptions.

first miniseries done! i honestly do like the ending, but i feel there was a lot more i could have expounded upon....well, we can always try again next time! anyways, prepare for a regency-era vernon miniseries soon! this miniseries is dedicated to @slytherinshua for being there to hype me up w this one and give me some help & ideas for regency-era vernon 🤍 love you girlie

reblogs & feedback is GREATLY appreciated!! don't be a silent reader—let me know how you liked it! thank you for all the support and love on my silly fics lyrnation🪄 you guys are the realest

[cherubytes]

one-sided v4v where the v2 fights are just a way to get attention but v1 doesn't care at all

[babybreadddd]

sorry no cure

characters: hyunjin x f!reader, established relationship

summary: (for u to find out!)

warnings: angst, cursing, arguing

a/n: its my first short fic, i hope you like it! ending is up to your interpretation, might do a pt2 ?

wc: 1.2k

in reality hyunjin isn't like this!!!! they are all cute, nice and friendly!! this is not the actual character of hyune!!

nothing was going your way. your heartless boss just dumped paperwork on you - on a weekend and demanded it to be done by monday. he took advantage of your willingness, your eager-to-please personality to make you do his dirty work. and at what expense? 

you suffering, toiling on a saturday, one where you should be enjoying your day at home with hyunjin. 

well, there was no point stopping your work. hyunjin wasn't home. he was out, going to a dance class. 

i have to finish this quick, then wash up and clean the house... then i have to go grocery shopping, and maybe pay my sick dad a visit? if i finish my work, maybe i could get a quick treat. like, some acai? 

oh, wait. you can't. money's tight, and well, acai is expensive. right. 

you sighed internally. all you could do as you trudged through your work was to hope that hyunjin would come home in a good mood and comfort you, and what you could do now, was just to keep your mood from spiraling. too many worries spinning around. you couldn't keep this up for much longer. 

hours passed quickly. with each passing hour, bottles upon bottles of caffeine were downed, your mind becoming a hazy mess as you mindlessly do your work. 

you can't take it anymore. you detach yourself from your work and let your body slump on your chair. your eyes hurt, so you close them and leave your mind wandering. 

screw your boss who doesn't respect your boundaries. screw you, who doesn't have enough guts to stand up for yourself and say no. you brought this suffering upon yourself, and now you're facing the consequences of your actions. 

none of this could have happened if you said no. it's not like you would be fired if you said no. just accept reality - you're a people pleaser, and you're so easily manipulated by people. in all honesty, doing someone else's work isn't pleasant, but you feel validated. you live for the commendation, the acknowledgement, the applause. no matter how bad it feels, as long as someone validates you - that you've worked hard, you're someone, someone kind and loveable - that's all you care about. 

and seeking that feeling, that validation has led you to this hell of a mess. it's all my fault right? you need to stop seeking validation, and just do your work well, and not overwork yourself. sounds simple enough? 

the creak of the door opening sends you out of your trance. you see hyunjin, mustering a slight smile at the sight of you. he's definitely tired and exhausted. 

you're still deep in your emotions, but you manage to get out a small "hi baby. how are you?"

"fine. did you get my art supplies?"

shit. his art supplies….you were too absorbed in doing your work that you forgot about it. 

well, he's gonna get mad at you and then there goes your whole day. you can imagine it in your brain - work, arguments, maybe even sleeping in separate rooms? fighting with hyunjin over the smallest things often progressed to long, cold days of isolation where no exchanges would take place, and each would ignore the other, until one of you finally gave in. 

no. i can't let that happen. it was painful for both of us last time, it hurt both of us. 

you swallow your pride and mumble out a "sorry."

"sorry no cure, y/n."

you gasped internally. yes, hyunjin could be a little snarky during arguments, but that- wasn't that crossing a line? you always promised each other that no matter what, sorrys were the way to fix arguments, no matter how many apologies it took. 

the word "sorry" in an argument meant so much. it meant putting your pride down, telling yourself you were wrong and that you'd do something to make amends.

the fact that he'd rejected a "sorry"? it's just paint supplies, it's not even something as important as missing a date! besides, he only does painting in his free time, and he barely spends time with me, what more painting? 

"if sorry isn't a cure, then i'm not sorry for not getting you your painting supplies. get it yourself if it's so important." your emotions exploded. you were tired and irritable, and now you had to argue with the stubborn hyunjin? nevertheless, it hurt you so much to spit those venomous words out at him, but how could you break in front of his snarky comments? never.

an expression appears on his face, but it disappears quickly. you're not sure what it is, but you could pinpoint it to be something of horror and shock. 

i've done some horrible damage this time.. i'm going to pay for it sooner or later. in fights like this, the worse thing you've done is to say some sharp words, give him the cold treatment and wait for a while before someone gives in and you both will be good. but this time, you're not too sure. 

your pride, just put down a few seconds ago, begins to rise. you give him one more jab, scoffing lightly, "go get them now. you'll come back to a nice and quiet house with no one to quarrel with you. you like that? of course you do. i bet you hate me because i've failed you so many times." 

that was the breaking point for hyunjin. he stepped closer to you, your gaze meeting his. your instinct was to flinch and take a step back, but for the sake of your pride, you didn't. instead, you stared right back into his eyes, emotionless. 

before you knew it, you felt your composure cracking as you stared cold and hard into his brown eyes, each willing the other to break. you felt yourself breaking under his glare. exasperated, you sent him a death stare before you took your phone and keys, and muttered a quick "i need space" and left your shared home. you desperately wanted to take back your sharp words that plunged a knife straight to his heart, but how could you? you can't. 

in arguments like this, you can't just turn back. you swallowed your pride to say sorry, and he rejects your apology? real nice of him.  

and that's how you left him. you might've felt a little better if he had begged you to stay, but you knew he didn't want to give you the satisfaction of knowing he wouldn't want you to leave, that he still loves you, and he's sorry. that's hyunjin though. 

4 sentences exchanged and that caused a fracture in your relationship with him. all you wanted when he came home was to give you comforting hugs and cuddles to soothe you from the stress of your work. and you'd do the same too, and you both would have a cozy day together. turns out fate had other plans for you. 

you won't be coming back to this apartment for a while. you've plunged the knife in, turned and twisted it and there was probably nothing you could do to patch his broken heart back up. besides, you'd need to wait for him to cave first. 

unknown to you, he was already working out a plan to get you back. you'd hate it, but it'll bring you back to him. 

don't copy my work/post on other platforms! thanku :))) reblogs are appreciated and thanks for reading!

[red0-3]

Uhm cannibalism is something aha, there's art below trust ^_^

(I'm hiding the horrors below [TW CANNIBALISM] like fr, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat moment)

(it's that cannibal toddler theory)

Camera's low-key ass rn so whoopsey

It's based on that one video I think a few know of..

Uhm, clear Atsushi design

It's that thing where y'know cuz of Atsushi's regeneration ability his parents (I've mostly seen his mom) cannibalizing him so that they don't starve cuz they're poor..

The most fitting song (I have at least 40 hours on Spotify just listening to Mitski this week)

[born2b-beheaded]

Can we normalize not making fun of people for their age like It is not my fault i just started highschool brother

[ptanalo]

Kontrolado mo ba talaga?

[mothsakura]

help!!! the grandparents are fighting !!!

[jalapenobee]

IT’S DONE

You are my sunshine (rewrite)

Everywhere he looked, there was red.

It dripped from gold jewelry and table edges, shattered wine glasses and soaked gloves. Leaking out from his body was red. It caked his face and blurred his vision. The room pulsed and ached with pain, mirroring the scene inside it. The ball had been turned into a bloody massacre, the shining floor littered with limp bodies; a few on their last breaths, the rest already dead.

With a groan, Keith turned on his back and blinked. His mouth felt like metal, his ears were ringing, and he felt numb and dizzy from blood loss. The ceiling multiplied and shifted, exhausting his eyes. He’d be the one casualty of Voltron, assuming the others weren’t in his state. Seeing no point in taking off his helmet, Keith closed his eyes and listened in on the celebratory cheers from over comms for a “mission well done”. He kept his head turned towards the door, listening for footsteps that signaled an approach. Pathetic, really. Even if it was an enemy, there’s a zero percent chance he’d be able to defend himself. Keith sighed. He’d much rather be doing something, something important. But it was too late for that now. He was getting weaker every passing second, the grip on life loosening bit by bit.

Every blink he made closed his eyelids longer than the last. Every few breaths brought jagged, searing streams of blood dripping down his chin. He did not wipe it off, instead focusing on matching the voices from the comms to their owners as they started to call his name.

“Wait. Guys, where did Keith go?” Allura. 

“…Keith… where are you? Are you okay?” Hunk. 

“Keith, where are you? Say something!” Lance.

Keith took a long breath and managed to speak in a cracking, broken voice. 

“Second ballroom. Don’t bother coming.”

Despite that, Lance insisted he’d come to get him and started to bolt for Keith’s location. The latter didn’t object; partly because he didn’t have the energy, and partly because his pleas would be useless. Lance was always claiming he’d do anything to keep Keith alive, as well as being there as he dies. Apparently, nothing’s going to stop him.

Half a minute later, Lance came running through the broken door with his bayard drawn, aiming it around the room in a frantic mess until he spotted Keith. Careful to avoid the pools of blood and dead weight, he hurried over and pulled off both of their cracked helmets. A careful hand slipped behind Keith’s back, raising him up slightly to Lance’s face.

“I’m gonna get you out of here, I promise.”

“No matter.”

Lance shook his head and tears were sent splattering down on Keith’s armor, blending with the blood and seeping into the cracks in the metal. The other’s voices were left unheard, as Lance desperately prayed to a god, any god, that Keith would make it. That the blood would stop gushing, oh jeez, please make the blood stop gushing. He cradled a tired Keith in his tired arms. “Please, you’re going to be okay.”

Keith turned his head to face Lance properly, his body lurching with coughs that brought more blood to the scene. Keith ran his tongue over the roof of his mouth, tasting copper and salt. His throat felt right and his lips burned with pain with every word. He swallowed, and began to sing a delicate, slurred version of a nursery rhyme he’s sung more than a few times to calm Lance. 

“You are my sunshine…”

Lance’s teary, shaking voice chimed in, as he pressed his forehead to Keith’s. “My only sunshine…”

“You make me happy…” 

“When skies are gray…” For a moment, they were perfect - voices singing together, a melody all too familiar to them both. Then more coughs brought more blood; flown towards Lance’s face, and spat on the floor, armor, hands. A terrified Lance stroked Keith’s hair, smeared and tangled in debris, telling him to save his breath, yet Keith kept going. 

“You’ll never know, dear…” his hand fell limp against Lance’s. “How much… I love you.”

His eyes fluttered closed for the last time, and Lance was the only one left to finish singing while Keith managed a small smile and a sigh.

“Please don’t take… my sunshine away.”

[daydreaming-en-pointe]

guys i’m working on stuff… i promise

[rebellionmoon]

illumixoc fic chapter 16: Brother (part 2)

Some boys are dangerous if they're not tightly controlled.

Where Shadows Touch (illumixOC) Description: 

'Pour all your sorrow, all your rage, into me.'

Psyche Moiraio—the ill-famed Black Angel of New Bledel City—answers the downtroddens desperate prayers, delivering merciless vengeance for all those with torn apart and withered hearts. If they can pay her exorbitant fee. She is an assassin, a beautiful weapon crafted by her Mother, never shying away from violence, bloodshed—or true love.

As the youngest assassin in her family, she is arranged to marry Illumi Zoldyck, the eldest son of the Zoldyck Family. Haunted by her past, she is eager to escape her life at home and readily accepts the proposal. All she ever wanted was to fall in love. Hopelessly, madly, and foolishly in love. She carries that hope with her to Kukuroo Mountain.

Illumi Zoldyck, a stone hearted assassin and descendent of his family’s fabled yet brutal lineage, intimately knows that secrets are powerful ammunition—currency to ruthlessly exploit for selfish gain. Which is why he carefully stows away his own behind the facade of an unfeeling mask. He vies for his new wife, yet has other plans in mind. Every Angel, no matter their good intentions, must fall.

Links:

AO3

FFnet

Wattpad

..............

Killua, living yet another day with his family before yeeting himself out of Kukuroo Mountain:

[xerayn]

Always falling

[movedtodykedvonte]

Do I remember how to write fluff? No. Did you get a good equivalent of that? You tell me

[wordyneonlights]

Rainy Days

Decided to finish something I started about two years ago to motivate myself to DO SOME DAMN WORK *Ahem*

Cause I've got -0 motivation.

ANYWAYS, this are some OC's of mine: Raf and Erica. Erica's just been in a really bad car accident and lost her friend, so Raf comes over to comfort her a bit, give her a shoulder to cry on and all. K I'll stop yapping now, enjoy!!

I think I used to like the rain. I’m… not one hundred percent sure because I can’t find a particularly good memory associating with it from before the accident. I should have liked it, it sounds like something I would have liked. Now? I can’t stand it. Every time I hear it I’m back in that car, half conscious with my leg throbbing and everything distorted.

I look out of the window and I see the sheets of rain beating the road and I start to imagine the car. Driving, skidding, flipping, crashing- I pick up my headphones with shaky hands and let something play in them turning the volume up to the highest as I try to ignore the torrent outside.

I dig my phone out from the tangle of sheets on my bed and go through my messages. Ty, Adil, Julia, Raf...

I click and I see he's online but I would just be disturbing him wouldn't I? I rubbed my temples as my thoughts drifted back to the day he brought me back from the hospital.

‘Call me if you need me ok,’ he had said and even when I had voiced my worries of bothering him, he cut me off.

‘It's not a bother if it's you,’

My thumb hovered over the call button, still indecisive before the screen lit up and my ringtone blared. I almost dropped it in shock before I recovered and answering the call.

“I was just about to call you,” I say and I can hear the smile in his voice as he replies

“Oh really,”

“Yeah,”

There's a light sha-shaing in the background and I wonder...

“Are you outside in the rain? At this time?” I ask, “No judgement but if you're part of some nighttime cult I think I'd need to know,”

“No cults, I promise” he answered, “But I am outside your door though,”

I go downstairs faster than I need to, ignoring the pain in my leg as I unlock the door, open it and... there he was.

Looking thoroughly soaked through, shirt about three shades darker than it should be and hair plastered to his head. My chest grew a bit tight, there was something oddly touching about the fact that he walked through this storm just to see me.

“I know the rain makes me look amazing an all,” he started interrupting me from my thoughts, “But uh... can I come in?”

I nodded, embarrassed, this gesture had thrown me off balance and now I was acting like an idiot. Although, that could have just been the meds, they'd been messing me up a lot lately.

“I got into a fight with me dad,” he said, beginning to peel of his shirt, “Said I'm a ‘fucking useless idiot’ cause I'm not going to college,” the shirt landed on the floor with a wet thump as he continued, “But he wasn't around for half my fucking life so it's really none of his damn business,” the last words were said as he started trying to tug of his jeans

“Then he started yelling at my mom for being a ‘useless fucking mother’ and I just... I just lost it I guess. Started yelling at him, probably would have hit him if it weren't for Lili and Rosa,” he drifted off looking as though he wanted to say something before deciding against it.

“Does your mom know you're here?” I ask

“Probably,” he says with a small smile, “She's gotten used to me calling from yours at this point,”

“And her and the girls they're... ok?”

“Yeah no my dad's a dickhead piece of shit idiot, but he's not violent,” he looked at me, something in his eyes I couldn't quite decipher, “Sweet of you to worry though,”

“And you're ok with standing basically naked in my living room?”

“I mean if you don't have a problem with it,” he said posing like an idiot. I rolled my eyes, lips curling up despite myself.

“Call your mom,” I start, “You can have a shower if you want, I'll find you a change of clothes,”

“My saviour,” he said ducking forward to kiss my cheek before going upstairs to the bathroom.

It's only a couple of minutes before I hear the water moving through the pipes and I pick up Raf's wet clothes and shove them in the washing machine with the rest of the laundry and switch it on. The rain is still assaulting the sidewalk and I switch the music back on and make my way back to my room.

Sometimes it helps, having someone around that is, it keeps me out of my own head more. To be fair though, I spent a lot of time in my head naturally but that had had nothing to do with rain and cars and sirens and heart monitors and-

I take a sharp breath and stand up suddenly, pacing around my room. I can still hear the rain through my music but if I take my headphones off I'll be able to hear the shower and I'll be back there again.

I'll be upside down with

blood in my mouth and

I can't feel my legs and

There's

nothing

but

rain

and

it's

all

so-

“ERICA!”

The voice is loud enough (despite its muffled edges) to bring me to semi lucidity as I open my eyes to see Raf. His voice comes and goes but I can see he's holding up his hand counting from one to three on his fingers over and over and oh...breathing technique.

I try and force myself to breathe in on three and 1...2... out and 1...2... in and slowly, painfully, my breathing begins to even. Raf joins me on the floor once my hands stop shaking and I rest my head on his shoulder.

“Hope you didn't finish all the hot water,” I croak and I hear him laugh despite himself

“Should've joined me then,” he says taking my hand and interlocking our fingers

“How's your mom? D'you need to go home?” I ask and I feel him look at me in the way he always does if he thinks I've asked a stupid question.

“You know I love you very much right?”

“Mhm,”

“Good, cause sometimes you ask very dumb questions,”

“Rude,”

“Well you're stuck with me all night so you'll have to get used to it,”

I hum in response and his hand squeezes mine. He starts talking, about lots of things, nothing I can really grab on to but it was enough to distract me from...outside.

“You ok?” he asked after a while

I shook my head and he pressed a kiss to the side of my forehead, “Thanks for being honest,”

“Thanks for being here,” I responded, “Thanks for loving me,”

“Thanks for being so easy to love,” he said

I smiled and wanted to respond but my eyelids were getting heavy and I was slowly slipping...

But not before I had registered, that it had finally stopped raining.

[the-travelling-witch]

i’m alive but now the anxiety of being in a completely new city is starting to sink in