#but it's been a few years
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My sister and I had the same dream last night. In my dream, there was a giant snake in a big old dusty house and I didn't have shoes for some reason, although I did have socks, and I remember being really upset about something, and my asthma was super aggravated by the dust in the house.
In Kid's dream, there was a giant snake in a big old dusty mansion that had stolen all my stuff (even my shoes, she gave me a pair of socks to wear) and kept giving her meant-to-be-impossible tasks to win my things back. When she succeeded anyway, the snake went back on its word and she beat the shit out of it with her hands.
I seem to have woken up before she shitmixed it. She kicked me from the subconscious server so she could commit violence without me seeing it. Amazing.
#personal#this has happened many times before#my siblings and I have had many shared dreams in our lives#but it's been a few years#so this is wild
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leave the show in the tags and feel free to specify how long it is, since there's obviously a big difference between rewatching firefly and supernatural
#mine's gilmore girls but tvtime deleted all my rewatches for some reason so i don't remember exactly how many#it's about 10 though i think#but it's been a few years#153 episodes tho. i was the coolest 12 year old ever trust me
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I had to contact support as well and they obviously asked why I canceled and probably wanted to try upselling. Service itself was okay, but they sponsor people like Bl*ire Wh*te, which I told them was the reason for my cancelation. Idk if it's due to laws here, but they did cancel it after I firmly said no again
Never use Surfshark VPN
I just wanted to make this post to warn yall about it, I am not a tech genius but I wanted to get a vpn and surfshark was one I knew about so i subscribed to them because it seemed ok, that was where I fucked up.
fast forward a year and now I am trying to cancel my yearly auto-renewing subscription which costs 70 fuckin bucks, didnt find much use in surfshark as it was too laggy when using its vpn services so i go to billing and try to cancel.
there was no cancel button so that was odd, and you cant turn off auto-renew so i figure ill just get rid of my card info so it cant charge me.
i cant or at least i cant figure out how.
I go to help and find the cancellation area after scrolling past why you should keep the subscription and it tells me to contact their live support to cancel, It requires my name and gmail, I know for a fact my gmail is correct but it says its wrong and that my name is wrong no matter how many ways I enter it and I cant find a possible username anywhere on the site i could use. Its for all practical reasons impossible for me to cancel, not just the fact I cant even talk to customer support, but the people on reddit that do, talk to a bot and then the agents take months to actually turn off the subscription so it charges again and there is no refunds.
dont use surfshark VPN
#Fuck that sucks im sorry OP#I had a person as far as I could tell#But it's been a few years#Before the recent rise in ai
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In February 2015, the "The Dress" debate had everyone weighing in on what color it was.
#polls#poll#yes or no#tumblr polls#bonus poll#yes it's been 10 years#i just saw a few months back the groom/husband is now in jail for DV of the bride/wife
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its true that romance amd friendship will not solve everything but. objectively speaking its very hard to get sad when you can say 'lets go get cake tomorrow okay' and someone will go get cake with you. like there is some good at least. you know
#i think this is why ive been so much more geniunely happy these last few years#like. i will never be going to bed alone. i will always have someone who wants me here#i will always have someone to say 'im sorry im not feeling very well now' and they will be concerned instead of being annoyed#at you as if those feelings are an inconvenience#scratchpost#txt
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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As much as I want to be a wholly joyous about the fact that Henry Kissinger is finally fucking dead, as he deserves... There's a lot of me that can't help being upset with. With the fact that he lived to 100 years old. He got better medical care, better housing, and a better, more stable life for those 100 years than billions on this planet ever going to see and he did it specifically through exploitation, state sanctioned murder, and lies. He lived to 100 years comfortably on a legacy of violence that rarely threatened his personal comfort. I want to be joyous that he's finally dead, because the world IS better with him dead, but the reality is he won a long time ago.
#sorry to be a hashtag Downer but I've been thinking that for a few years like what victory is there when war criminals live full lives#and never face charges or jail time or any sort of mandated civil restitution#what victory is there when Kissinger died peacefully at home at age 100.#and what victory will there be when loads more 20th century war criminals die out naturally? what comfort can that bring?#bc to me all it says is the Next Kissinger will get the same mercy and same immunities#personal#pol#<- kinda
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static
#vocaloid#hatsune miku#miku hatsune#i live for making her unsettling.. had this concept in my head for a few years now im so happy w how it came out#will be up as a print during my new shop update this month too :P#i havent been updating much on tumblr but im cooking up something good for this months shop update IM EXCITEDDDDDD
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look at that transformation! well done, Belphie, you’ve defeated death!
#Belphegor#if it were a few years ago there wouldn’t have been anything to do#I would’ve had to watch him continue to bloat until he drowned in his own fluids#but now he gets to be a kitten! now he gets to live!#he’ll grow up and get fluffy and be with me for twenty years#he’ll get to be an old geezer with arthritis!#so many bad things happening every day but for once we get a solid win
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"content creator" is a corporate word.
we are artists.
#anti ai#fuck ai#artists on tumblr#please do not call me or any artist a content creator#i'm an artist. a fanartist. a designer. but not a content creator#ai clowns in my replies will be deleted and blocked without response so do not waste your breath#you are not an 'artist' for generating an image any more than you are a chef for ordering from a restaurant. someone Else did the work.#owen dennis just deleted all his blue sky stuff again and i hate that he does that because he makes such interesting comments#about the entertainment industry lmao i need to just. start screenshotting every smart thing he says#anyway thats why i decided to finally make this when its been sitting in drafts for a few months#owen dennis#edit - if you dont know who owen dennis is he's the creator of one of the best animated series of the last 20 years (Infinity Train)#he's very open about talking about art and the entertainment/animation industry on social media and in his newsletter and hes so cool 4 it
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if we could stay connected, just like this
#ok last orbit niigo post im emubrained again and also i miss leoneed#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#mizuki5 spoilers#proseka#mizuki akiyama#mizu5#nightcord at 25:00#hurray !#meltdown released an amazing translation of the event so i read it and had my final cathartic transgender cry about it#and now i have ~4 assignments due on friday so i have to stop drawing mizuki. sad.#i recommend everyone watch meltdown's translation#please. its very good and better than the mtls floating around#i Get why people wanted to see it translated asap like i Get it i didnt understand half of the wordplay or kanji but like . wah#its so crazy how this event breached containment n how many people are rooting for mizuki even tho they dont play the game so i just#think its a shame that the translation everyones reading isnt really accurate/lacks the nuances.. Ok sorrynits a good event.#ive just been thinking abiut that for a few days and i love talking in tags. Adios#real Orbit heads will know this is an Heartorbit reference (that tarot card sketch i did almost 2 years ago and said i would finish)#(i havent finished shit)
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Hi, feel free to take my new uquiz to discover what kind of vampire you are!
#NO IM NOT TALKING ABOUT CHESS THE MUSICAL I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT IS. I AM TALKING ABOUT THE ANCIENT BOARD GAME:CHESS#uquiz#vampires#twilight#because let's be honest there are a fair few references#and maybe this is my twilight quiz which has been in my drafts for nearly a year!#and i was tired of it sitting there#maybe!#quiz#werewolves#mention#you can get human in this im really sorry#it's a bit of a mean result#oh if anyone has an actual picture of the vampire that killed dean winchester please send it along#i could not find it with a cursory google search but i rememeber he wore a clown mask#so maybe one of those guys is the guy?
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lived my whole life in guilt bc i thought i was responsible for people's feelings. newly realizing that other people are responsible for their feelings and reactions, even if they make it seem like i'm the problem. a lot of the time it really has to do w them and their own emotional regulation. i can't keep thinking i'm not allowed to have space bc of other people's insecurities. like i literally refuse to dim myself. other people are responsible for their feelings just as i'm responsible for mine.
#like i'm always gonna operate from a place of kindness but i've had to deal w so many people who're bad at communication/confrontation#which led me to think i'm the problem#that i deserve to be given the silent treatment or dismissed disregarded belittled etc#that's j not true. i'm far from perfect but i think so few people deserve that kind of reaction. and my biggest revelation is i do not#even if people want to make me think i do / that their reaction is justified / that i'm a burden etc#my biggest problem is i humor people like this for too long bc it's been normalized behavior to me#does this make any sense to anyone. it's the end of the year and i'm reflecting on so many things#p
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(looks at upcoming card releases)
I'm in danger :)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#smoking#my favorite horrible crime guys are back!!!!#(my hot take is that glomas had a better story but these goobers were just SO fun)#(they should be allowed to kidnap and murder(?) at least a few dozen people. as a treat.)#man i knew there was probably going to be a fellow card and yet i still did a bad job of saving my keys#and there's this year's halloween to think about too!#normally i try to avoid leaks and spoilers but i did accidentally see some stuff and if it's real then holy SHIT#on the other hand fellow attacks by basically throwing gidel at people and i desperately need this on my team#regardless of whether or not the card is actually any good#(if they change the animation to remove gidel i am going to RIOT it needs to be either exactly the same or EVEN SILLIER)#actually it would be hilarious if their stats were terrible. just the worst. and yet...#grown man and his kid with a hammer vs a bunch of teen wizards who can shoot fire#the results may shock you#(if they do the same duos-with-the-last-release as they have been with the staff cards then i will absolutely lose it)#(please twst. it would so useless to me but SO funny)#fellow: it's showtime rollo! :)#rollo: who are you
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unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
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I don't think healthy people realize how for chronically ill people getting a diagnosis isn't sad or even disappointing for us, it's a relief and a vindication. So many people with chronic illnesses take many years to get diagnosed, and are told that 'it's just anxiety/your period/psychological' or that we're exaggerating or that everyone experiences that, so for us getting a diagnosis is being told that we weren't faking it and that this wasn't normal and it's also finally knowing what exactly is going on in our bodies.
I think many healthy people think of it as if it were them being told they have this lifelong debilitating illness, and they would feel awful because they are going from perfectly healthy to disabled, but they don't fully realize that we already have all the symptoms and impacts of said chronic illness and that we are just finally finding out the name, and that knowing what it is means that we have access to more treatments and more knowledge as to what we can to do alleviate our symptoms.
#chronic illness#disabled#disability#chronically ill#i was lucky enough to have been diagnosed early because my mother recognized my symptoms#and she recognized them because my older sibling had been diagnosed with the same thing a few months before me#but for my sibling it was years between developing symptoms and getting diagnosed
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