#but it's also too simplistic
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Heroism in TFATWS
Let's establish one thing which is that the show operates in a superhero trope, which means there are good guys and bad guys, and the good guys always win. This is not to say that characters are morally clean-cut between good/bad. The Flag Smashers acted out of good intentions; Walker did want to do good things when he took over the mantle. But that doesn't mean they aren't the bad guys in the story, because a person is not only judged by their intentions but also the means and the ends of those intentions.
Sam and Bucky are the heroes in the story, they beat the bad guys (the Flag Smashers) and saved the world. That's how the story ends. That's how all the superhero stories end.
But the show isn't quite that simple, not in the sense that it deals with moral greys, no. Rather, the show really fucks up the boundaries between good/bad, right/wrong, and by extension, the heroism of the show.
Let's say Karli has some vague cosmopolitan worldview, and let's say that's better than the state system so Sam is justified to sympathize with her cause, and sam is rightfully asking the governments to be better. What's the actual, feasible way to achieve Karli's vision? Nice speeches notwithstanding, Sam isn't offering a solution. States aren't going to abandon the system that made them a state just because some hero dressed in an American flag descends from the sky and tells them to. Forced displacement and/or re-settlement happen because the population distribution is screwed, especially in Western Europe where Karli is from. Those states simply do not have the capacity, spatially and financially, to accommodate all the people while the others would be faced with devastating labour shortages. Statecraft is not just about morals, some IR scholars would even argue it's never about morals, you have to do the rationalist calculation. (also sam's speech to the politicians is so.........wrong. it sounds like a 16-year-old wanna-be socialist who spends too much time on leftist tiktok)
Here's the thing, you can agree with the political ideology or not, because it's not about whether it's right or wrong. It's about Sam being a hero who comes from a heavy political background, who represents a set of values that is meant to transcend a single country, advocating that ideology whilst being completely naive about it.
Steve embodies a similar idealism that makes him a hero, but not a leader. He's a leader because he can lead, he assesses the situation, sets a goal, and gives out tasks to achieve that goal. In the show, Sam is not demonstrating effective leadership, although not entirely his fault.
When you have the 'hero' indiscriminatorily endorsing the villain's philosophy, it doesn't mean the hero is empathetic, it means the hero is fucking bullshit. What makes a hero isn't merely stopping bad guys, it's also offering a better alternative even when the villain kinda makes sense. Superheroes are supposed to offer moral lessons through their heroism, which often takes place as they defeat evil. Without that, they're just dudes stopping fights, not heroes fighting for causes. The only moral lesson Sam offers is 'hey maybe radicalization is bad', which is completely ignored by both Karli and Zemo.
Sam's sympathy towards Karli is even more absurd. Even if he agrees with her cause, she's an unrepentant killer. 'Don't call them terrorists.' really, Sam? What would you call them? Just bc the Soviets fought the N@zis doesn't mean they were the good guys.
Furthermore, we see the contrast between her and the other flag smashers. They were invisible victims while her body was gently carried by Sam as phones and cameras were recording. In a show where they tried to make sense of racism, the stark contrast between Karli and the rest of the group happens to be mostly PoC is kinda hilarious.
The problem isn't Sam. It's the terrible horrible writing. You can't take a Watsonian take when it's so obviously a Doylist problem. The show claims to be a lot of things it got wrong is just pathetic.
What about Bucky? His arc is pretty detached from the main storyline and he basically did nothing significant in the show so I don't even know what they want to convey about his heroism. He was literally just running around punching people (not even very good at it too) while being blamed for things he wasn't responsible for. He only told Karli that killing was bad. What a novel lesson. Again, there is nothing from the good guy.
Who is the hero then?
Zemo is the true anti-hero of the show. Throughout the show, Sam and Bucky - the good guys - oppose killing in general, but their method is proven ineffectual and in the end, all Flag Smashers are killed with a majority of them killed after they were lawfully arrested. The Flag Smashers were terrorists, they were the villains, therefore narratively, this makes Zemo's end goal - killing all supersoldiers, in this case, the Flag Smashers - right. His ideology - the desire to become superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideas; supersoldiers cannot be allowed to exist - is positively reflected in the story. His success inevitably justifies his ideology, which stands in contrast to both Sam and Karli. I'm not saying what he did was heroic, but from a storytelling perspective, Zemo is the 'hero' who ultimately eliminated the evil in this superhero trope.
The result is that Sam, the supposed hero of the show, has done nothing. He didn't stop the bad guys, he didn't offer an effective alternative to Karli (or Zemo) practically and ideologically, while Zemo did all that. What does it say about heroism and the idealism that comes with it? That it's nice to talk about but useless when a real battle takes place? That end does justify means? Because that's not what Cap trilogy conveys.
#if you don't agree you don't have to engage. just so you know.#sam wilson#tfatws#bucky barnes#baron zemo#the falcon and the winter soldier#the show is bullshit ok?#cosmopolitanism in itself is controversial#being proposed by captain AMERICA is outright ridiculous#ofc point a gun to ppl's head and force them to leave their home is bad#but it's also too simplistic#just to give her a justification#as long as states exist there will never be free flow of population#not even within the EU not when there's a global crisis#so I'm asking again#dear kari and spellman#how exactly do you propose that to happen?#zemo my man you have done nothing wrong in your entire life xxx#also sam saying 'i'm a black american wearing an amarican flag so i must know all about suffering and discrimination' is just laughable#do the showrunners know that other countries exist????#bro have you lived in a country where you can be arrested for saying all that to a politician?#marvel needs to stay out of politics#for their own good#also I have classmates who were part of the UN peacekeeping troops. painting them as terrorists isn't doing anyone any favour
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SPLIT / IMAGE
#Shayu#Negative!Shayu#Negative!Ego#artists on tumblr#furry#furry art#ronkeyroo#my art#furry artist#wolf#I missed these two also... .. .. long time no shayu#Also wanted to try the more simplistic brush stroke style and ITS FUN it corresponds well with this style of work too!!
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happy 414 day!! time for another silly photo op :D
without text below cut:
#bendy and the ink machine#batim#bendy and the dark revival#batdr#henry stein#joey drew#doodle dump#batim 414 day#continuing my goofy selfie-with-text tradition! figured henry should get some time to shine by himself#also the mental image of henry blocking joey’s face with the finger was too good to pass up#very simplistic background bc i’m not in the mood to scrounge up references or draw all that realistic stuff#it’s not that important anyhow. we’re just here for the funny :P
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honestly, calling glinda the villain of wicked would be the kind of myopic, black and white take this site would produce
#is she necessarily a good person? not really. she's largely driven by selfish motivations and chooses to uphold the status quo so as to not#wreck her own life#but i think thinking of this in terms of hero/villain is also way too simplistic#yet that's what online discourse specializes in these days lmfao
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Look, I'm not saying that the first name thing is never a sign of disrespect, but one reason people call her Kamala instead of Harris is because that's the campaign branding she used in the 2020 primaries. Same thing for Hillary, she decided on campaign branding that focused on her first name because quite simply there had already been a president with the same last name. But at the same time, there's Bernie, there's Beto, there's Mayor Pete, they are known by their first names in politics because that's the political branding that they went with.
Similarly when it comes to last name branding Donald has gone all in to the point that you probably had to think for a fraction of a second to get to Trump when I used the first name. I understand that sexism exists, but I am not positive that these two candidates having their more common used name be their first one is a good example of it.
#Like I can see how it comes off that way but I think Noticing It like the post I'm vagueing about is too simplistic to work every time#I mean it may even be that it's sexism but they're familiar with it and have decided to use that in their branding#But also I think there are more straightforward mechanisms for explaining these things and those should be examined first#Namely the campaign branding#That said she does seem to be using Harris branding for this run#Just like the reason people think of her by her first name is that's what she ran her last national campaign on?
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Rowena and the thick, bloody umbilical cord between choices and faults.
In a previous post of mine I’ve explored a little bit how Mary and Kelly represent a sort of “missed opportunity” for, respectively, Sam and Jack.
At the beginning of s13 Sam resents the fact that he hasn’t been proactive in seeking to create a relationship with his mother and now that she’s (presumably) gone he doesn’t want to deal with that reality. He had wasted his second chance. Jack, on the other hand, never even had a first opportunity to begin with but, unlike Sam, has experienced a sense of unity with his mother so extreme that one of the first things that he tells Sam is that he was his mother(!!!).
S13 reinforces the Mother-Son symbolism because, after Jack’s birth, a rift is opened in space (apparently not in time?): Kelly stays (dead, rip girl I love you) on one side of it while Mary crosses it and finds herself in Apocalypse World. To make things even more clear, this is no random parallel universe: this is the alternate reality where Mary didn’t deal with Azazel. So mothers and their choices/faults are a central theme in this season. Or, well, more or less.
To complete the mothers’ trimurti or, better, tridevi we’re missing the final mother, the destroyer who is, of course, Rowena. It’s therefore quite apt that Rowena reaches her highest potential this season and even confronts Death. What motivates her in an interesting blend of (missing)love and (lacking)power. Lucifer is as part of her story as Kelly’s and Mary’s. Unlike these two, though, she doesn’t have a son who resurrects her, nor a turned-benefactor cosmic being who offers her resurrection as a gift to her son. Rowena has to resurrect herself. Not once but twice. She is, perhaps, the loneliest character in the whole series.
This is actually quite ironic because, if we look back on previous seasons, her “choice” to kill Oskar, her putative son, was what triggered the whole chain of events (the freeing of Amara first and Lucifer second) that directly link Rowena with Mary and Kelly.
It’s only natural, then, that s13 Rowena keeps representing the reversal of the Mary and Sam/ Kelly and Jack relationships because there is no son who’s looking for her, rather she is the mother who’s looking for her (dead) child. Like Sam, she also needs someone who can access another dimension to bring Crowley back but, unlike him, she’s not successful. Now, ngl, this pisses me off to no end, like of course I can understand the real reasons why Crowley couldn’t be brought back, still I kinda hate how it was narratively framed.
When, in "Funeralia", Rowena says that life is unfair she is right but not in the general, pessimistic sense of the phrase: she's right because in-universe some deaths are more important than others and people get back on board depending on whether or not they're still a role to play for them. Rowena's faith in magic is actually justified because magic is the only thing that can help her. And the tragic thing is that it's also what damns her in the process because it's the only form of power she can have access to. There are no angels or cosmic entities looking out for her. She's just... alone.
So, perhaps, it's not that I necessarily hate how her failure to bring Crowley back is described, I just see it as further proof that Rowena is the best example to show how in Supernatural the game is rigged from the beginning and we didn’t even need an interfering and pervy God to realize it. That's all we've been seeing it since S1. All those infinite, booooring talks about being good/evil or doing good/bad actually mean nothing because, at the end of the day, in this show what really matters is how useful you can be, to whom and why (and this is way less booooring, you learn a lot of interesting things about these characters if you go down this road, it's grim but it's more rewarding).
S13 is also when the final connection between Rowena and the Winchesters, Sam to be more precise, is established which is indicative of the fact that she will inevitably die. Before S13 her story was her own, after “Funeralia” it cannot be extricated from Sam’s. To some degree, it’s quite similar to what happened with Crowley and Dean. What’s more, just like Crowley’s powers and shrewdness are what really carry the plot from s6 to s12, magic and spells (and therefore Rowena’s role in the story) will be the key for many plot points from s13 to s15. But there is a big difference.
Both Crowley and Rowena’s sacrifices are described as heroic but, let’s be honest, only Rowena’s was. Crowley’s demise was a clean-up after his own mess at best. It also proved to be unnecessary. Rowena and that awful MBOL’s egg thingy would have managed to confine Lucifer, like, they actually did it. It was Crowley who perverted the spell for reasons that I personally find OOC. I would’ve liked the Crowley vs Lucifer power struggle but not the way it was done in s12 because it felt very nonsensical to me. As in: I can see you need a reason to keep Lucifer around and this is what you’ve come up with but it’s still quite illogical.
At its hidden and secret core S13 is the season of the “let’s reframe the sons’ stories and blame it on the mothers”. Just like Kelly is blamed for Castiel’s ideal vision of Jack and Mary’s "choice" is established as the most important point in the whole show, Rowena-as-Mother must face the same fate: it was her fault if Crowley, Fergus!, ended the way he ended. It’s a naaaaaaaaaaaaaah for me.
This is what we’re told in “Funeralia”:
Rowena: Oh, but it is. Death has something I want. Sam: What’s that? Rowena: My son. After you told me he was gone, how he died, I had an unexpected reaction. We had our differences, but it’s my fault he went down the path he did. I left him. Dean: We’re talking about Crowley-- demon, King of Hell? Rowena: We’re talking about Fergus-- a man abandoned and loveless, tricked by a demon, died in a gutter. He deserved better from the world. From me.
Now, just to be clear: yes, Rowena had the responsibility to do better; yes, she was the absolute worst; yes, she played no small role in her son’s story. However, I personally don’t like all these negative associations between “worlds” and “mothers” as if every fucking thing in the universe is dependent solely on them. How did we end up here? It’s almost as if absent fathers are, like, not THAT bad after all (and the show, as far as I'm concerned, ultimately approves of and absolves absent fathers). So I’m very suspicious of the way motherhood is portrayed specifically in s13 and Rowena’s attempt at redemption well demonstrates that there is reason to be so.
This dialogue in “Funeralia” confirms my gut feeling:
Sam: You know, what happened with Crowley? That wasn’t your fault. Rowena: He never had a chance. Dean: He made his choices, just like we all do. Look, every one of us has done something that we have to live with, that were trying to make up for. Every one of us. Sam: Even without all that extra juice, you’re still the deadliest witch around [Sam's flattering Rowena. He's gonna ask for her help in 3,2,1...]. Rowena: Flatterer. Sam: Yeah, well, we, um... we may need your help [Here we go!]. To save our family. To… hell, to save the world. Dean: You wanna be redeemed? This would be a pretty big step. Rowena: And do you think I still can be? Dean: Yeah, I do.
I mean, not to be rude, but who the fuck cares if Dean Winchester thinks that Rowena can be redeemed? Like, how is Rowena’s redemption (which is strictly connected to her being a bad mother and not, among other things, a zero-regret murderer, which she also happens to be, for instance) connected to saving the Winchester’s family? Don’t get me wrong, I understand that this is SPN and that Sam and Dean’s problems are Apocalypse-level problems (lol, they really did that, when I say that their story is like a cosmogony maybe I’m not that wrong) but, as I’ve said, I cannot help but notice the similarities between Rowena’s arc this season with Mary’s and Jack’s, i.e. you can be redeemed if you either do something useful for the Winchesters or... realize that it's not your "fault" that your sons suffered terribily because "choosing" to deal with Azazel was actually the right choice... for the world. How come fathers saving the world are framed as heroic while mothers actively creating worlds by making hard choices that benefit the greater good need redemption?
So to sum up: while fathers invade S13’s main storyline as solvers, restorers and fixers, mothers are the bones of the story, they carry its weight and its sins but get little if nothing in return: Kelly stays dead, Mary ends up helping out a world that absolves her of her Original Sin but that’s nevertheless a mess (you can never win lol) and Rowena can’t get her son back (but she can save Sam and Dean's family the world!). Looks good, right? Hurray mommy!
#supernatural is the show about absent fathers okay but more importantly about dead mothers#it's a show about monsters so ofc it must talk about mothers too#i mean this is the show that paralleled demon blood to mother's milk. hello?HELLO?Is this thing awn????#but it's almost like. when it comes to it. when mary is actually back in the game. it sort of beats around the bush???#it's weird because there's also the whole “wayward sisters” and the jody and claire (and alex) of it all#but mothers are portrayed in such simplistic terms (in certain seasons at least) that the discomfort behind it is almost glaring#they did try and give us s6 eve and s12 mary who were partially interesting characters but then it was like: okay. no more.we're done.#rowena feels like the only “safe” character in terms of motherhood for the show because she's initially written as such a caricature#that you can only grow from there.indeed s10 to12 were cool.however they ultimately “end” her as the yas!queen girlboss “auntie” which meh.#i'd have preferred her alive and powerful but still a giant loser. magic nerd awful mother. like she was in carver era but more “real” yk?#okay tags be carrying me away. let's stop here lol#supernatural#spn#sam winchester#dean winchester#jack kline#kelly kline#crowley#fergus macleod#rowena macleod#lucifer spn#spn s13#funeralia#super-m/Others#on resurrection#spn lines#mary winchester#s13e19#super-m/others
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Homunculus
#codacheetah#my art#pokemon#pkmn#vulpix#fennekin#ok so#idk preface i'm not a modern pokemon design hater this is not hater art#but i do think. the style shift progression of pokemon has been fascinating to watch.#a lot of early pokemon particularly the first mmmmm two generations were relatively sensible proportionally#a lot of pokemon that feel like animals but to the left.#and as time has worn on pokemon i think have kind of shifted away from 'balanced' design towards 'cartoon' design#like fennekin. ridiculously huge head with big huge eyes and dramatic fur tufts and tiny little neck and body#compare to vulpix which is also a ridiculous chibi animal mind you. but its proportions are more grounded in reality#head that's only Mildly too big for its body and smaller eyes and visible paws (vs. fennekin's stumps)#i've always felt like fennekin and vulpix is like the kind of microcosm of pokemon designs shifting to be sleeker and more exagerrated#where it's so apparent since they have the same basic design idea#hell you can kind of see it with alolan vulpix. slimmer neck smaller body bigger eyes#this post is kind of meaningless i've just been thinking abt it lately#pokemon no longer has a consistent artstyle. there are many galarian and paldean pokemon that i dont think ever would have made it in rby#and many early gen pokemon look visibly different to the new because they are more simplistic and understated#this is not a bad thing it is just a Thing. it's the natural growth of a franchise where they have to reach further with ideas and designs#with each generation. because there's 1000 of these fuckers. we are long past Basic Fox and Basic Bird and Basic Bug#every pokemon has to be uniquely charismatic and recognizable when they have so much competition#anyways all this to say i think vulpix and fennekin look ridiculous standing next to each other but in a vacuum? both designs are nice
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What do u think of beatles fans who hate yoko? Personally, I genuinely don't understand what yoko has done to stand out in the beatles lore as a particularly heinous character in the story. Had to unfollow several authors on Tumblr bc they usually gas john up and put yoko down, like they didn't come in a set.
I don’t think anyone’s required to like Yoko but I also agree that many people seem to hate her for behaviour that they’d happily overlook from any of the Beatles. The main problem here is no one is typically joining this fandom cause they’re interested in Yoko, ykwim. They’re here because they liked the Beatles and all the lore comes after that, so naturally everyone’s going to have a bias for the boys themselves. Yoko did do some insane shit to John (and is also within the Beatles narrative in an antagonistic position to Paul) so it’s natural that people who love John will find that off-putting, even if it’s not necessarily a fair way to view her, but they never really look at the crazy shit John did to her or anyone else in the same negative way. Plus, as with any fandom, there is racism and misogyny at work.
But there’s plenty of people in this fandom who do like Yoko, which is good! I think her position in the Beatles story is so fascinating because she is in this weird confluence of like getting blamed for shit that isn’t her fault while also doing some absolutely fucked up stuff herself. She’s not an easily definable character in the lore and she’s not “relatable” the way, say, Linda is relatable, so you sort of have to do some work to make sense of her. I think my main gripe with Yoko haters is they don’t give her the grace of trying to understand her the way they do for anyone else in the Beatles story.
#where’s that meme#tumblr loves saying ‘I love problematic women’ you couldn’t even handle yoko ono#also there’s a certain vibe in this fandom where people are very strict about the ideal partner for john and paul#which colours their view of every other relationship#like I actually hate the way some people talk about Paul and Jane lmao 🙃#very simplistic understanding of relationships. very dull.#and Cynthia gets this shit too to an extent#and part of that is bc of the men’s treatment of them but it wouldn’t kill you to give cyn a backbone or Jane some softness#asks
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one of the most bitter ironies from a certain flavour of western (usually American, British, French) leftist who’se decided to comment on the Jews Writ large and just suggest that Israelis ought to have just gone back to where they come from if they didn’t want to be murdered is that the US, UK, and France been hugely culpable in forcing massive numbers of Jews, along with other middle eastern refugees, from their homelands through colonialism and interventionist and destabilizing policies in Iran, Afghanistan , Algeria, Lebanon, Yemen, and so forth. It’s downright ghoulish to refuse to wrestle with the history behind why the vast majority of the worlds’ middle eastern Jews live in the state of Israel when YOU, as the major colonial powers of the region, are culpable for it
#No I don’t want to hear from Yankees about Jews dying as a form of solidarity from their own actions actually#Everyone should be an anti Zionist#An essential and I mean ESSENTIAL part of that work is mentally reckoning with WHY Jews live in the state of Israel to begin with#Because otherwise? Kinda feels like the worst forms of gaslighting#Sorry we destabilized your homelands to the extent you were forced to leave as refugees AND refused to reckon with creating a global world#In which you could be safe!#Here’s someone else’s land. As a treat#All you refugees can be unceremoniously dumped here now have fun guys!!!!!#As an Ashkenazi but also tagalog Jew: there isn’t nearly enough intersectionality on Jews themselves as post colonial victims or how the#State ideology was founded in the first place#It’s extra bitter to hear simplistic takes from western leftists about how the Jews can just go home like#A) where? Where too?#And b. I don’t want to throw them this bone#But the vast vast majority of Jews who don’t live in isreal live in other settler colonial states#Because we were. Moved there#But for some funny reason those tend to be the states they live in and they don’t consider their own passports sufficient cause of dea#death. Or something
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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Do you take commissions? If so, do you have a commission sheet? I’m sorry if this is an annoying ask I just really love your work lol
not annoying at all! i really really appreciate this a lot, thank you!
i have done commissions in the past on other platforms, but for now i am not taking them here. i'm not saying that i never will, because sometimes life is.. you know. Like That™️. but for now i'm steering clear of it to try and keep my passion up! 👍
#i also frankly think- and i don't say this to be rude- but i think that most folks in fandom would think my work is overpriced#because i charge somewhat more professional rates. still not a living wage. still not what you could get as a non-freelancer#(deleted a lot of rambling about prices here but if anyone does want to hear it i can go into it sometime)#kirby characters are generally far more simplistic so it would be a whole different pricing bracket#but i think expectations in fandom seem different to an original content community where people are doing this for a living#the one person i've commissioned in fandom i was so shocked at the rate i paid like... 500% what they asked me.#(that is not hyperbole. i 'tipped' 400% and it still felt like the bare minimum. you *must* tip undercharging artists.)#anyway. i have a lot of thoughts about monetising my art but at the moment this is still a no. i'm sorry!#i do really genuinely appreciate it though! if i ever open them i'll be sure to post here about it!#i'd also like to do art trades a little more regularly in the future (not rn) ; so there's that too? but we'll see. again i'll post about i#starflungs personal tag
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Ok the last one wasn't very popular but I was still very proud of it, so I wanna make more short-form animatics and I have a few in mind! I'm already in the process of the next one but after that
Cast your votes this week!! No need to rb but maybe reply and lemme know which one you voted for cause I'm curious 😆💖💖
#jane journals#self insert talk#💙 oh captain my captain 💙#🔥 general hothead 🔥#the one im currently working on is ALSO an angsty kepler and brea one x3#less angsty than the one on this poll but still a bit angsty#its actually a remake of one that i tried to do before but my energy was way way low#it wasn't exactly what i envisioned and was a bit too simplistic#so im doin it again!!!#thatll maybeee be done by the time this poll is over?
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🎵 ORIGINAL CHARACTER PLAYLISTS — IMOGEN KOL
[inspiration]
tag list (ask to be added or removed!): @adelaidedrubman @florbelles @marivenah @simonxriley @shegetsburned @voidika @kyber-infinitygems @v0idbuggy @inafieldofdaisies @statichvm @socially-awkward-skeleton @aceghosts @jillvalentinesday @risingsh0t @unholymilf @thedeadthree
#oc insp: imogen kol#as you can see i am unwell#I made moodboards but they felt too busy on this post so I went for more simplistic versions#I’ll probably post the boards separately eventually#FINALLY figured out how to rearrange the song order on spotify playlists#and immediately jumped on Imogen's cause I'm the most proud of hers tbh#and most of my other ones don't necessarily have a specific order like hers does#phases of her life rlly be: hate it here might go postal / villain era / fuck I fell in love now what#also imogen and bix do have a separate ship playlist but there is a bit of overlap so who knows if I'll make a post for that too#I'll pretend I'm happy with just this lol
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astarion's arc mentioning redemption doesn't make as much sense as it seemed it was going to in EA. like Ulma mentioning he might achieve redemption doesn't make much sense now since she's talking about victims he got while being almost literally puppeteered.
Originally it seemed pretty clear we were going to find out some heinous shit he did to the Gur as a magistrate out of his own free volition.
#i also don't think its about his heinousness while travelling with the PC since well. he kinda does nothing if you don't act evil#just all bark and no bite. because larian (sighs) loves player agency too much#so companions don't do anything you don't tell them to do. shucks#i could imagine the original scenario had a better chance at exploring this#because if theres anything that could make a really privileged asshole re-examine their deeds... experiencing that injustice themselves#probably helps#that might be naive or simplistic from me since suffering doesn't really produce epiphanies like that irl i think. but um#i cant picture alive astarion figuring empathy out on his own.#that being said redemption arcs feel kinda overdone so i dont care too much. ulmas comment just made no sense to me#(and the game frames it like shes right for saying this)#on second thought maybe its just a stretch thats referring to his change in worldview where he starts thinking about others. idfk#i agree that's very much in his arc
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look okay it's bad to erase marvin's canonical sexuality and the fact that She Likes Men but i literally genuinely with all my heart think that she is a trans woman
#the repetition of in trousers = gender roles forced on him#i'm still alive and sick of counting#something's missing in my life... i have a family#i love being marvin SHE IS SOOO IN DENIAL#banging his groin with his fist#SHOULD HIS MOTHER BE BLAMED.#i tell him he's a person- he says i'm just ridickalous#btw she is literally distancing herself from her body and sense of self... man i can't begin to express how feral i am about this.#uhm also projecting onto miss goldberg because she is “perfect womanhood”#miss goldberg is transition goals#no literally she's obsessed with her !!!!#“made me what i am today” COME ON. FUCK.#also the constant references in both in trousers and falsettos to marvin being a boy. internalised transphobia you will never understand her#she's so attached to the women in her life and fails to be a “good man” for them as she tries to fit herself into a typical male role#and she's unclear and simplistic over typical male family roles (eg “daddy makes good money // that's what daddy's for)#“listen i'm a bastard bummer with a penis” she's so in denial my lord#a person who likes to lie too much SHE IS LYING TO HERSELF 😭#i try too much to impress other people#her suicidal thoughts as well! she is contantly thinking about how she will die or what will happen when she dies or whatever#LITERALLY DEADNAME.#how the body falls apart first the groin and then the heart..! she literally only considers her value as a man to be her groin#and even then she fucking hates it#uhm and also i feel him slippimg away. of course you do#“HE” is liyerally dying.#“people might ask does he feel awful that and was he grieved”#i'm done i'm tired now. maybe more coming soon#also pavelkaramazov if you see this *I* sent the in trousers ask i was just on anon because i hate my main blog#in trousers#marvin trilogy
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so funny that his first thought was ilyn like 1. why him and not your dear cherished childhood friend ser addam. why not men youve known your whole life like ser lyle strongboar. 2. wtf is poor ilyn gonna do against two sellswords 3. why would he would risk his life for you.... mentally hook up with a guy a few times and now he expects you to be his knight in shining armor... imagine him going up to ilyn like hey um😖 i know our dates r us beating the shit out of each others and me calling you names after you laugh at my traumadump but if two big experienced killers came for me would you protect me😳🥺 be honest🥰🥰
#i was being too simplistic their dates are also plotting how to epically prank ppl by threatening to execute them#and giggling abt it#jaimeilyn#asoiaf
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