#but it's a far cry shorter than the last thing i wrote

[ashotofogdensoldfirewhiskey]

Love your fics!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ Would you consider writing Hinny’s first „i love you”?

Love YOU, anon! I have to confess, I don't know if I answered your prompt, because I did write Hinny's first "I love you" in Ch4 of Someone Else's life. I toyed with writing this moment differently at a different time, but realized I think I'm sort of married to the idea of them confessing it right after the battle, and I couldn't think of a way to rewrite the moment in a way that was meaningfully different. So, I hope you don't mind, I wrote the moment Ron realizes Harry & Ginny are in love, instead:

It’s one of those evenings in late May after the battle - when everything seems to blur together and time ceases to have meaning - that Ron seriously considers the possibility that he might have been a bit thick. 

Ron’s sat in the lumpy armchair by the hearth at the Burrow staring oddly at Harry and Ginny, tucked together on the opposite sofa. Ginny’s got her feet resting on Harry’s lap, and Harry’s absently rubbing her knee. It’s relatively innocent, as far as seating arrangements go, and yet Ron can’t help but stare at the casual intimacy of it anyway. 

They’re back together now. It seems to Ron they must’ve gotten back together the minute they’d had a moment alone after the battle. Ron had left Harry asleep in Gryffindor Tower one minute, and when he’d come back from lunch it had been to find them holding hands in the Common Room. 

“You together again, then?” Ron had asked, later. Harry had merely nodded. And Ron supposed that had been that. 

Ron hadn’t had the mental space to give the matter much more thought since - there’d been funerals (so effing many), and repairing Hogwarts, and Mum crying, and Hermione, and meetings about Auror training… 

He supposes it shouldn’t be surprising that they’re cuddling on the sofa. But, now that Ron at last has the time to think about them for more than a passing moment, he registers that he is surprised. Truth be told, he hadn’t expected it - them. 

And why should he have? Harry hadn’t mentioned Ginny at all, had he? 

Harry had broken it off with her - in public, at a funeral, of all places - and then never mentioned her again. Never intimated he was sad about their relationship ending, or that he missed her, or that he’d hoped they’d be together again when the war ended. It was partially why Ron had blown up on that awful night in that bleeding tent. Harry hadn’t seemed the least bit concerned with Ginny’s safety.

The closest Harry’d come to anything resembling emotion about it all was his last birthday, when Ron had caught them snogging passionately in Ginny’s room - with the door closed. It had seemed callous at the time, to Ron. One last chance to get a snog in before he left her behind. 

Harry and Ginny had only been together a few weeks, after all, much shorter than he and Lavender had been. And while, yeah, it was clear they’d liked each other, how deep could it have been, really? Ron had always assumed it had been new and shallow, maybe mostly physical (as much as that thought disgusted him). Like him and Lavender.  

But it couldn’t have been, could it, if they’d got back together so quickly? 

Just then, Hermione interrupts Ron’s musings by walking in from the kitchen and handing him a warm cup of tea. Ron sees that she’s made it just how he likes it, and smiles at her - she’s always doing thoughtful things like that. 

“Thanks,” Ron says, and drops his arm around her shoulders as she squeezes in next to him on the chair. Her presence beside him feels exactly like the perfectly made cup of tea she's just given him - warm, and sweet, and calming. 

He looks up again, watches Harry press a kiss to Ginny’s temple and mutter something to her with a soft look on his face, watches them smirk and share some private joke, and all at once, everything he’d thought about them subtly shifts and changes color. 

He allows the inkling, the what if to take shape: perhaps Harry and Ginny had always felt like this together - a warm cup of tea in front of the fire. Maybe breaking it off hadn’t been like breaking it off with Lavender had been, but instead had felt like those long cold months after Ron had abandoned Hermione, when Ron had been tortured, wondering whether she was alive, whether he’d ever see her again. 

The worst months of his life. 

Ron stares at Harry. His best mate. His brother. 

Harry hadn’t said anything about Ginny. But then, he hadn’t about Sirius, either, had he? Or his parents. Or Dumbledore. Ron knew that Harry didn’t talk much about his feelings, but he’d always supposed there were some unfathomable losses that you just couldn’t talk about. Having never experienced one himself - well, until now - Ron had thought that might just be the way it was. He assumed he would know if Harry was upset about something else. Something smaller. 

But maybe Ginny hadn’t been something smaller, at all. 

The thought that Harry might’ve been heartbroken on top of all the rest of the shite they’d gone through last year rankles. 

“Harry was cut up when they broke it off, wasn’t he?” Ron mutters to Hermione, jutting his chin toward Harry and Ginny. 

Hermione looks at him as though he’s daft, and he might be. “Of course he was.” She glances over to them to confirm they’re not listening, and then whispers, “I used to catch him staring at the Marauders Map all the time, when he was supposed to be on watch. He’d never tell me, but I think he was… you know, keeping an eye on her.”

The image is so pathetic that at first Ron’s inclined to laugh, but he doesn’t. “Blimey,” he says. “I didn’t… I thought he was alright.”

“Well, you know Harry,” Hermione says, but that’s just what’s bothering Ron, because he’s wondering how it’s possible he hadn’t known this. Hermione takes a long sip of her tea, and then adds, “I’m so happy for them, now, though. They’ve got a chance to be normal.”

“Yeah,” Ron agrees, watching as Ginny pokes Harry’s side playfully and Harry grins. “Normal.”

Ron subconsciously monitors Harry and Ginny for the rest of the evening, the pieces slowly falling into place. The mood is dreadful - it always is, these days - and yet it seems that they’ve carved out a little bubble of contentment in the gloom. A clasp of hands, a nudge to the knee, a sidelong smirk - Ron realizes they’re having a second, silent conversation beneath the family chatter. A private one.  

The wireless is on, covering the ongoing match between Ballycastle and Falmouth. 

“Everton should pull a Krum and catch the Snitch, sod scoring,” Bill says. “Ballycastle needs some dignity.”

“Or,” Ginny interjects, “he could pull a Potter and take a same-side Bludger to the head, miss the rest of the match. Might be kinder.”

“Everton can only dream of pulling a Potter,” Harry says drily. 

“You’re right,” Ginny says. “Only I can do that.”

Harry snorts and Ginny shoots him a playful wink while Bill groans. Ron would ordinarily groan too - he’s staunchly opposed to witnessing them flirt with each other on principle - but tonight�� tonight it makes him feel something that isn’t quite happiness, but perhaps its cousin.

Because it occurs to him that they’re always doing that - bantering, setting each other up for jokes. They’d been doing that since before they’d got together, only Ron hadn’t thought anything of it then. Now, though, it strikes him as another piece of evidence he’d managed to overlook in the case he’s building: she makes him laugh. 

The match ends, and with it any pretense they have for staying awake. They all stand and begin their zombie-like drift off to bed, still in that surreal state where none of the loss seems quite real, like they all might wake up from it all at any moment. But they don’t. 

Ron’s in the bathroom brushing his teeth when he hears quiet murmuring in the hall. He slowly lowers his toothbrush, straining to hear. 

Harry and Ginny seem to be loitering outside her bedroom, waiting to use the loo, probably. 

“--wants me to wake up at the crack of dawn tomorrow to reorganize the attic–”

“The attic?” Harry asks. 

“Yeah. Our ghoul put up a real fuss about moving back up there and wrecked it. Got used to living in Ron’s room, I think.”

“Poor bloke.”

“Yeah, mental that anyone would prefer Ron’s room.”

“Have you considered,” Harry asks drily, “that he’s just become a massive Cannons fan?”

Ginny barks out a laugh, and Ron can’t even find it in himself to be offended on behalf of the Cannons. 

“Wow,” Ginny snorts. “Maybe we can plaster the attic with Cannon’s posters. Make him feel right at home.”

They laugh, and Ron finishes brushing his teeth. He clatters loudly so that they know he’s in there, just in case. 

“‘We’ can plaster the attic…?”

“Oh, yeah,” Ginny says casually. “I reckoned you’d want to help.”

“You reckoned I’d want to get up at, what was it, ‘the crack of dawn’?”

“Before the sun, even.” 

“Why would I want to do that?”

Ron makes to dry his hands with the towel hanging by the door. 

“Because,” Ginny answers, “You love me.”

The towel slips from Ron’s hands and falls with a muffled thump to the floor, so that he nearly misses Harry’s dry reply. “Yeah, fair enough.” 

Ron turns his head slowly to stare at the closed door in shock. 

“How long is that going to work for, d’you reckon?” Ginny asks.

“Dunno,” Harry says. “Let’s not test it.”

“Oh, I intend to.”

“You‘ll go mad with power.”

“Nah, I won’t,” Ginny dismisses. “I love you, too, so…”

Then there’s a suspiciously long pause that Ron doesn’t care to examine too closely. He’s too dumbfounded, anyway, by the casual admission of love they’d just thrown at each other, clearly not for the first time. He and Hermione hadn’t even said that to one another yet. They weren’t mental - it’d only been a few weeks since the battle.

And yet, here are Harry and Ginny, clearly comfortable enough with it that they’re already at the point of teasing.

The last piece clinks into place, and Ron realizes they must've felt this way for a long time, must've spent the whole sodding war waiting for each other. And he hadn't had any bloody idea.

Ron shakes his head like a waterlogged dog, and then makes a loud clatter of a job of opening the door so they have time to quit snogging or whatever the hell they’re doing before he has to see it. 

He finds them with put-upon expressions of innocence on their faces, leaning casually against the wall outside Ginny’s door. 

“Took you long enough,” Ginny complains. “What were you doing in there?”

“What were you doing out here?” Ron counters. 

“Kissing,” Ginny says flatly, while Harry looks down at his feet. “Had to do something while you powdered your nose.”

Ron rolls his eyes, though he feels less disgruntled than he would ordinarily. “Well get on with it, loo’s open now.”

“Thanks,” says Ginny, not sounding thankful at all. She turns to Harry. “Night, see you at the crack of dawn!”

She stands on her tiptoes and gives him a quick peck, while Ron pointedly looks away. Then, she takes her turn in the bathroom, leaving Harry and Ron in the hall together. 

Ron looks up at Harry, noting with some amusement the sheepish, guilty expression on his face. For a moment, an overwhelming desire builds in Ron to say something supremely soppy, like Happy for you, mate or I’m glad you’ve got each other or even Why didn’t you ever mention you were in love with my sister? 

But, he thinks better of it, and instead claps Harry gruffly on the shoulder. “G’night, mate.”

“Night. 

[diaper-dyke]

Bubbles

Available on AO3 as well!

CWs: Messing

This was just a quick thing I wrote for a prompt in my Discord server (insert Obama putting a medal on himself meme here). I think it turned out okay despite it being shorter than most of my other stuff. I'll probably write a second chapter for this one eventually since I'm quite happy with the premise. But anyways, hope you enjoy this one!

All characters in this story are 18+.

A soft giggle escaped Nina's mouth as she saw the bubbles floating above her head, glittering rainbow in the bright summer sun. She and Mommy had just gotten outside after about an hour of getting dressed and prepared to go out in the scorching heat.

Mommy was dressed in an orange romper with a white floral print, proudly showing off her tanned legs and arms, wearing deep red lipstick and sunglasses that just barely revealed her eyes if you looked close enough. The romper clung to her body as tightly as wet hair, emphasizing every last curve that it touched, especially that of her bosom and ass.

Nina, on the other hand, had been put in a pretty blue sundress that, as always, was too short to cover up the thick white bulge around her bottom, as well as the marks beneath that showed off the good paddling that Mommy had given her yesterday, as a part of what she called the "good girl routine" that usually took place at the end of the week.

"Such a pretty little girl," Mommy cooed as she waved the bubble wand around, causing a few more bubbles to float out. "Let's hope nobody can see what we're doing back here! That little dress won't hide that bottom at all, hm?"

Nina's cheeks burned as she blinked up at her caregiver.

"Mommy's only telling the truth, cookie. Not a lot to stop people from knowing what a naughty little diaper girl you are.." Mommy let her gaze run over the property. "Just a fence and some hedgerows. You'd better hope none of our neighbors are doing roof maintenance today."

"Mommyyyy! Stoooop!" Nina whined, stomping one foot on the grass.

The woman's eyes narrowed. "Of course, there's no need for seeing in here if they can hear you crying as Mommy paddles your bottom. Is that what you want, little dove?"

Nina immediately shook her head. "No, Mama..."

"Then let's stop that whining, shall we? Mommy was very nice to take you out here to play, and I haven't even heard one 'thank you' yet."

"Thank you, Mommy," Nina was temporarily subdued at the threat of another spanking, acutely aware of her bottom that was just barely recovering from yesterday's spanking.

"Good girl," Mommy praised, dipping the wand back in the container and re-emerging with a fresh new set of bubbles. "Let's see how many my smart little bunny can pop, hm?"

At that simple command, all of Nina's conscious thoughts shut down as she fully immersed herself in what her Mommy had told her to do. Mommy knew what was best for her, and Mommy had told her to pop the bubbles. It was admittedly a relief to focus on something so silly and meaningless after the long, hard stressors of the grown-up world had taken their toll on her. Here, she could just relax with her caregiver, accepting her love and her discipline.

Nina was so immersed in the game, in fact, that she wasn't even aware when she started to wet her diaper. There was none of the usual fuss or whining that usually accompanied a wet diaper, the fragments of Nina's adult self trying to put themselves back together. Those fragments were simply not there now, buried far back in the recesses of Nina's mind. She just peacefully flooded her padding without a second thought, before continuing to play for what felt like hours, occasionally stopping to splash around in the kiddie pool that Mama had filled up for her.

It was absolutely adorable, Mommy thought, that Nina ever believed she was an adult. Sure, she had to play pretend when she was out in the big girl world. But here? Here, Mommy would never let her get the chance to protest that she was a big girl. There was no pullup privileges, let alone undie privileges. There was no days that Nina got to sleep anywhere besides her crib or in Mommy's bed. There was no days where Nina was allowed to tuck herself in or change herself. There was no days where Nina wasn't Mommy's perfect little baby.

"Princess, come here," With those simple worlds, the game came to a halt, and Nina scrambled over to Mommy. "Mommy needs to check your diaper. Why don't you go ahead and bend over for me?"

Nina shamelessly bent over, allowing Mommy to have a full view of the soaked diaper. Yet, as Mommy ran her hand over her baby's thick padding, she could still feel many dry spots in there. This diaper could hold a lot more, and Mommy wasn't a big fan of wasting diapers.

"You can do better than that," she decided, giving Nina's bottom a firm pat. "I don't even smell any poopies in there. Is someone having trouble making pushies?"

Nina whimpered and immediately shook her head, knowing that it meant nothing. Usually, Mommy would retrieve an enema or a bottle to give her some 'special cleaning time.' But she made no movements towards the house now, instead just dipping the bubble wand back into the container.

"I have a new game," she explained, holding unwavering eye contact with Nina as she slowly bobbed the wand into the bubble mixture. "You've been doing such a good job popping these bubbles, but Mama has noticed that you've let quite a few get away. So, Mommy wants to raise the stakes a little bit."

Nina swallowed as Mommy drew the wand back out of the container, holding it up and winking at the soggy little girl. "For each bubble that you let get away, that will be another spanking over Mommy's knee tonight. The game ends when you squat and make successful pushies in your diaper. Does that sound fair?"

It didn't, but Nina knew better than to say that. Mommy would just find a way to make the game meaner. "Yes, Mommy."

"Yes, Mommy, and?" Mommy waved the wand, sending five bubbles into the air. Her foot tapped as she waited patiently for Nina to remember.

"Thank you, Mommy," Nina finally whispered.

"I didn't quite hear that," Mommy tipped her head and waved the wand again, sending another three bubbles into the air.

"Thank you, Mommy!" Nina blurted more enthusiastically.

"Good girl. And what a shame, it looks like you've already earned eight spankings," Mommy told her, looking at the eight bubbles that were far out of Nina's reach now, before blowing another set out into the air.

"B-" Nina cut off her protest. It wasn't fair! Mommy hadn't told her that the game had already started. But she didn't have time to whine, instead hurrying to catch the bubbles that Mommy had blown, missing another three. Before she could even turn around, several more bubbles floated past her head, and this time, she managed to pop all of them.

They played the game for about half an hour before Nina felt her tummy starting to flip. Ignoring the next set of bubbles, she dropped into a squat and started to push, praying that it would be successful. Another set of bubbles floated past her head, and she used one hand to bat at them, just as her tummy rumbled and she started to push her mess into her diaper, feeling it sag and swell even further as she messed herself.

"Aww," came Mommy's voice from behind her. "Did someone mush her pampers?"

Nina sniffled as she finally came to the realization that not only had she just pooped herself in front of her Mommy, but that she probably owed her caregiver a lot of spankings now. A tear leaked down her face, and as she lifted a hand to wipe it away, a larger hand got there first, wiping her tear before lowering to cradle her chin. All the icky feelings resurfaced as Nina realized that the game was over, and that the sun was setting.

"It's okay," Mommy asserted softly. "You did so good, sweetie. You're going to be just fine- Mommy's going to take care of you."

Nina blinked up at her, and Mommy grabbed one of her hands, letting their fingers intertwine as she started to lead Nina back towards the house. Nina's whines went from humiliated to protesting, not wanting to go inside yet. It was so much more fun in the backyard, where she could run around and kick her feet and throw her toys as much as she wanted, with little risk of breaking anything.

"Aww, I know, peanut," Mama cooed, but didn't let up. "We can come out and play again tomorrow, okay? It'll be too dark to play out here soon, and besides, Mommy has a different type of playtime planned for you."

Nina's nerves were set alight immediately.

"Don't you like the thought of getting some time with Miss Buzzy?" Mommy's voice was so soft and coaxing. "Because she's very excited to play with you. You two haven't gotten to play together in a while, have you?"

"Spankies?" Nina tilted her head. She was so cute that Mommy wanted to hold her up to the world and scream for them to look at the precious sight in her arms. Of course, she could never do that- little Nina was just for her. But it didn't stop her from wishing.

"Oh, don't worry, you owe Mommy thirty-two spankings after the bubble game. We can save them for another day, though. You're still a little sore from yesterday, hm?" Mommy led her into the house, receiving only one grumble of protest this time. "Tonight is for playtime. My baby's diaper has a tiny bit more room for some cummies before Mommy changes her."

She gave Nina a playful wink. "Don't you think?"

Nina felt warmth fluttering in her stomach at the soft compassion that Mama showed her. Despite her grumbles, her whines, and her unbearably stinky diapers, she knew that Mommy loved her, and would do anything to keep her happy. And that was why Nina would always try her hardest to be a good girl, even if she wavered from that goal at times and needed to be corrected under her caregiver's firm but loving touch.

"Yes, Mommy."

[ponderingmoonlight]

Can I request geto suguru with prompt 29. After the last angst u wrote, I figured I want to be hurt more, maybe y/n confronts him again and tries to get him back (fails miserably) 😭😭 keep writing, ur writing is really good 👍

Thank you so much for that request, I just had to write that immediately! Hope I shatter your soul in a good way love, enjoy and let me know what you think ♡

Dying ray of sunshine Part ll

Pairing: Geto x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,5k

Synopsis: After searching for your former boyfriend Suguru for 10 years, he finally shows himself again at the Night Parade. You try your best to convince him back into your open arms, but it seems like the man you love is gone forever.

Warnings: hurt (obviously), injury, lanuage, death

It’s been a while since you last saw him. 10 years, 6 months and 9 days to be exact. Somehow you managed to carry on, found a job in the center of Tokyo, cut your hair a little shorter, met up with Satoru from time to time. You’re a grown woman now, absolutely stunning as some might say. On the surface, everything is going great for you. Expect for the fact that you never let a single man touch your soul after Suguru.

Sorry, just doesn’t work I guess.

You block the number of the random man you’ve met last night without balling an eye and straighten your posture. No one seems to mesmerize you like Suguru did. Along with Satoru, you searched for him over the last years, still eager to find him and talk everything out. You know that he has a tender heart, that even after all this time you will manage to get him back, your Suguru. The promise you made will come true. Sooner or later, you will track down the traces of horror he leaves behind. Deep down you know that he would never hurt or let alone kill you. Just a few words, that’s all you need.

The ringing of your phone disturbs your peace rudely. A look at the screen reveals that in fact Satoru is calling.

“You know I have to leave for work soon, don’t you?”

“(y/n), he was here”, Satoro breathes out.

Immediately you jump out of your chair, blood rushing through your ears as your heart nearly pounds out of your chest. You know exactly who he’s talking about. Suguru was at Jujutsu High? Why? Maybe he wanted to sort things out, maybe he had a conversation with Satoru, maybe…Maybe he asked about you.

“What did he say? Is he still with you? Why was he there? Were you able to convince him to come back to us? How is he? Does he look fine?”, you babble out, mind racing faster than your mouth can follow.

“(y/n)…I think you should pay me a visit. Don’t expect anything positive though…”

Your heart sinks immediately, a wave of disappointment and foreboding rushes over you just like ten years ago. Nothing positive means something really bad must have happened. But still, this is the first personal contact the two of you had with Suguru since he left that day. This has to be a good sign, right?   

“I’m coming right now”, you response hastily, put on your high heels and sprint down the halls with your car keys tinkling in your hand.

Jujutsu High isn’t far away from your home, but still the empty road feels like an eternity this day. You press your foot on the gas, don’t give a shit about the rain that starts to poor and the bad sight. He was there. Suguru was finally seen again, alive and speaking. You can’t help but shed a tear of joy while cruising down the street with enormous tempo. At some point you thought about giving him up, to stop searching for someone who doesn’t want to be found and who last told you that he wants to see you dead. But you never had the heart to call it quit, to simply throw all the time you’ve had together into the trash. This is your chance.

“Satoru!”, you cry out, dashing down the wet sidewalk into the center of Jujutsu High.

There he stands along with his students, all of them wearing thoughtful, anxious and competitive expressions. You are alarmed immediately. Satoru warned you, it is written on their faces that something pretty bad has happened.

“What’s going on?”, you breathlessly inquire, trembling hands pressed against your figure in order to stop you from shivering.

Your whole body seems to be electrified, still in absolute shock at this sudden opportunity.

“He was here. Suguru was here to announce war”, Satoru explains briefly, his gaze pinned to the grey sky above him.

“War?”

You can’t believe your ears. Is that the only reason he came here? To proclaim that he is going to take other innocent lives? You feel like fading, suddenly a breath-taking nausea overcomes you. This is not the Suguru you know, he’d never do that. Absolutely impossible.

“This has to be a misunderstanding, we both know that-“

“Sorry (y/n), it wasn’t. Apparently he doesn’t even stop at jujutsu sorcerers anymore…”

“B-But…This means he’ll come back, right? I will talk to him, I’m sure there’s a way to convince him to stop. After all, I was his girlfriend for so many years! I’m sure he’ll listen to me!”, you desperately try to convince Satoru.

“Ain’t no way I’ll take you to the battlefield. Forget that, (y/n). You’ll stay here, at Jujutsu High. I will talk to him first. Only when I can be sure that he won’t hurt you I will come and get you, understood? As a non-jujutsu sorcerer, you are completely at his mercy. I won’t lose you too.”

You can feel Satoru’s tense gaze eyeing you up and down while you urgently try to hold back tears. Of course he’s right, you know all too well that Suguru’s heart is clouded by grief and rage. He could kill you in a heartbeat before even recognizing that it’s you. But still, the thought of sitting here and waiting for Satoru’s call while your boyfriend is out there slaughters you from the inside. You waited 10 fucking years for this moment. How long do you have to wait until you can finally embrace him in your arms again, until you are reunited and get your well-deserved happy ending? It is so frustrating – hunting down the shell of the person you love most in this entire word and then not being able to talk this out.

“Did he ask about me?”

Your voice is a fade whisper, close to breaking like the finest glass. There is nothing you want more than to embrace him into your arms again, to feel his broad chest against your fingertips and let his delicious scent tingle your nose. Satoru’s heart breaks at the way you stare into the ground, the tears you try to hold back so badly glistering in your eyes. He can’t help but pull you into his arms, gently caressing your back just like he did on that fateful day that took your spark away.

“He asked me if you’re still around. I told him that you are searching for him”, Satoru whispers into your ear, making your heart shudder in hopefulness.

So he does care about you. After all the things that happened after the night ten years ago, you are still on his mind. Yes, this is a good sign. That means that he does in fact remember his feelings towards you, the beautiful moments you both shared.

“I will bring him back, Satoru.”

______________________________________________________________

“See ya, watch out for the little ones, (y/n)!”

“You’ll probably have to watch out for me, I’m no use when it comes to curses. Hopefully I’m not in your way”, you admit towards Maki and Yuta.

The boy in front of you smiles kindly at you while shaking his head.

“Oh please, don’t be so hard on yourself! You are a very impressive and strong woman, Gojo-sensei talks only positively about you!”

“I’m not able to see curses either, don’t let that stop or bring you down.”

A kind smile is plastered on your face, heart warmed by their kind words. It seems like Satoru is doing his job very well, apparently. You definitely need to tell him that when all of this is over.

“I’ll go back inside”, the girl named Maki announces, turns on her heels and leaves.

“Do you want to join?”, Yuta asks friendly towards you.

“Oh no, thank you. I will wait here.”

And with that, you are alone. Only you and the soft breeze that strokes your hair on this quiet cold day like every other. You can’t keep your mind still, everything revolves around Suguru and the prospect of seeing him. How will it go? Will he even recognize you? Your curves got a little rounder, jawline a little sharper and hair a little shorter. But your eyes. He should be able to tell that it’s you by your eyes. After all, he spent hours getting lost in their sight. Oh, the beautiful old days. Waking up next to him still sleeping, letting your needy hands wander around his muscular body, caress every inch of his delicate skin. Suguru is your blessing of a lifetime and he told you over and over that you are his ray of sunshine. Surely it’s not too late. It is never too late to change your path.

“Who do we have here?”, a voice behind you jeers.

You quickly get up on your feet, courageous gaze set in the direction of the unknown male.

But he isn’t unknown. You’d be able to recognize his long black hair and mesmerizing orbs anywhere. It’s him. God, Suguru is here. Still as breathtaking as ten years ago, face matured in the most delicate way. And that striking smile that is plastered on his face.

“Is that really you, Suguru?”

Ten years, ten whole years of your life you’ve been searching for him. Ten years without letting any man touch you in the way he did, ten years of constantly thinking about him and the unconditional love you hold for him deep within your heart. And now he’s finally here. Standing right in front of you, only about ten feet away.

His eyes examine you up and down. Can this really be true? He thought he’d never see you again. After all, he told you to run away this one time, he spared your life once. Suguru never expected to set is eyes on you alive.

“(y/n)”

His voice grew stronger and sounds a little deeper than you remembered. Oh, how badly you want to bury your face in his arms, beg him to come with you and forget about this madness. Maybe you’ll be able to laugh about what happened in a few years together.

“Over the past 10 years I searched you everywhere. Remember that promise that I made? I told you I’ll come back. And now we’re finally able to talk this out.”

Your voice is shaking. It feels like a far away dream to see him standing there, safe and sound right in front of your very own eyes. The horror of the last few years isn’t noticeable on his lovely face. You can’t help but close the distance between your bodies, every step feels like a victory. Yes, you can do this. You will convert him back to his normal self, to the sweet and loving Suguru everyone knows and loves.

“Wow, you actually managed to grow up even though you are nothing but a defenseless monkey. Congrats, (y/n).”

The sound of his stone cold voice and venomous words makes the world around you turn black. He called you a monkey again. Just like he did back then. You shake your head, determination plastered on your surface. No, you won’t give up so easily. This isn’t him.

“Suguru, this isn’t you. I know you better than that. You are the gentlest, most caring and loving soul I know, a man that would never hurt an innocent soul. You don’t have to do this. Please, let me help you out of this vicious circle, let me give you the attention you needed ten years ago. We can still fix this. I never stopped loving you.”

“But I did, (y/n). You are nothing but a stranger I share memories with for me. I forgot about you a long time ago”, he replies dryly, cold gaze staring right through your soul.

You swallow heavily when his words hit you like a bullet. It’s like you never knew him, disgust is plastered on his face. No…no, it can’t be! Your heartbeat picks up, hands balling into fist while your whole body hardens in agony. You didn’t threw your life away for him to stab you in the back like this. You didn’t love him for noting all these years. This just can’t be true. He just doesn’t want to let you too close, a coping mechanism to defend his current way.

“Kill me right now then, I dare you!”

Your blood-curling scream hangs heavy in the thick air between both of you, waiting for any reaction, any words, any twitches. Only to be greeted by a small grin and his eyes filled with so much hatred that it leaves you completely motionless.

“Your wish is my command.”

In the split of a second you are torn into the hard ground beneath, multiple bones in your body cracking at the invisible force that seems to burry you alive. Your lungs are out of air, all you can do is stare at the grey sky above, heart completely shattered by the love of your life all over again. Salty tears mix with your blood, plastering your sight in crimson.

“You’re just fucking hilarious, don’t you think? Mark my words before you die, you mean absolutely nothing to me. (y/n), you are nothing but an insignificant shadow and embarrassment of my past, a freaking monkey that has no place in this world, not worth my time. And that is exactly how you will die today. I won’t give you another chance to escape.”

His words seem to slowly fade away. Every time you woke up you reached for him, but he was never there. You want to tell yourself that there’s still hope, that there’s a small chance to convince him to return back into your open arms.

But it’s too late.

He will never be the Suguru that loved you so dearly ten years ago. He will never be the Suguru that held you in his arms all night, that told you over and over again how much he loves every inch of your body. He will never be the Suguru that came home to you after an exhausting mission with a bouquet of flowers in his hands and a tired smile on his face. He will never be the Suguru you wanted so badly to bring back. No, this version of Suguru is dead. The man who’s bending over you right now with a satisfying grin decorating his features is a stranger, the shell of the man you used to know and love.

With a single tear escaping your eye, you steal one last glance of him and your past, present and future glistering in his emotionless orbs.

You failed him. And he will never be the same man again.

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

2024 AO3 Wrapped - For Writers

Taking a page out of @frownyalfred's bag and am compiling the stats that are most interesting to me (from various wraps I've seen) rather than using any one set template. I'm also going to stick to published stats because I've written chapters for Like the Cryptkeeper that have not published yet, in addition to a few WIPs I've gotten stuck in.

Works Published: ~12

Includes two works started in an earlier year but finished this year and one work started this year but not yet finished. Read all twelve-ish here.

Chapters Published: 18

The majority of my fics were single-chapter one-shots. Not all, though.

Words Published: 45,970

Hits: 29,829*

Comments: 649*

Kudos: 4,817*

Bookmarks: 1,230*

These last four stats I find interesting from a statistical perspective but also maddening, and I'm hoping one of you out there knows a trick. Because these three numbers are wrong.

Firstly, they include all hits/comments/kudos for Hey, Sister, but I wrote and posted half of that in 2022, so some of these are 2022 stats. Same goes for Nowhere Safer, which first posted near the end of 2023 but concluded in 2024! Augh.

And secondly, if I filter my stats down to 2024, it only shows me hits, comments, and kudos given to fics from 2024. My 2024 fics are little babies. Not only are they new and therefore less well-known, but they're also significantly shorter than, for example, The Return and Nature & Nurture.

AO3 is an archive. My older fics are FAR more popular than my shiny new fics! I WANT MY ACCURATE STATS. /endrant

Top Relationship: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd (3)

Shocking. Genuinely stunning. This wholly comes down to me getting really interested in some of the relational mechanics between Dick and Jason and churning out a bunch of fics for Whumptober about exactly that. ("A bunch," I say. Three. I mean three.)

Top Tag: Grief/Mourning (4)

If I exclude the Whumptober tag, grief/mourning was my #1. I'm not sure why.

Fic With Highest Stats:

Because I don't know how to properly segment Hey, Sister or Nowhere Safer, I'm going to present stats with and without that those involved. Stuff with multiple BatKids likely would have done really well even without the multi-year spread, but I can't prove it.

Hits: Hey, Sister (or Nowhere Safer or Like the Cryptkeeper)

Kudos: Hey, Sister (or Nowhere Safer or Open Line)

Comments: Like the Cryptkeeper

Bookmarks: Nowhere Safer (or Open Line)

Fic I'm Proudest Of:

I'm always proud of all of my fics but I am particularly proud of:

Like the Cryptkeeper because it's been a bit since I've done a fic longer than two chapters (we'll see how proud I am if I stall on my current chapter for much longer)

The morning and what came after because it was deeply angsty and made me cry

Searchlight Burning because @audreycritter said it was one of the best "Bruce returns to Gotham pre-Batman" fics she's ever read and I want to die with that on my tombstone

Fic I Wish Received More Attention: Searchlight Burning

Y'all are allergic to Alfred fics and it's such a pity.

WIPs Still Sitting In Drafts: 3.5

lol. Okay so of actual "things I actually attempted or am attempting to write" drafts, as opposed to just ideas, I am sitting on:

The rest of Like the Cryptkeeper

A mega-angsty little thing I've been poking at for a couple years

A Dick & Jason fic I started for Whumptober and got stuck on

An Alfred POV for The Rain Again that I started, had to back out of when it wasn't right, and if I ever use again will need to be for an entirely new scenario—hence the .5

Given Or Received Gifts: 3 received, 0 given

More indicative of my pre-Whumptober writing slump than anything else

Learn Anything New?

It was such a relief to finally feel like I got a little bit more of a handle on Dick. I didn't expect that this year.

I noticed while drafting Cryptkeeper that Jason was being VERY sweary in a way I don't usually write that felt appropriate and inappropriate for the setting at the same time. I finally realized my own internal distinction that he tends to stick to lesser swears when communicating verbally, while his own internal monologue will have a lot more f-bombs.

I love the "Batkids trust Bruce enough to crawl into his bed after a nightmare" but it's a trope that only ever squared with me in an uncomplicated way for Dick. I didn't see Jason falling into it without hesitation even as a younger kid and I really couldn't see Tim doing it, except for maybe much, much, MUCH later. I liked being able to solidify the uncomfortable middle ground for myself in Nowhere Safer.

It's not new knowledge that getting Jason and Bruce to talk honestly to each other is a difficult thing, but MAN has Cryptkeeper really driven it home. Yikes.

2025 Aspirations Or Goals:

Finish Like the Cryptkeeper.

Beef up some of my other pairings. I do want to keep writing my most delicious faves, but I'd like to explore some different combinations.

Tied to that, I'd like to build out my own understanding of some other characters within the Wayne universe. Steph and Duke remain a cipher to me, but so does Kon and Jon and Lois. I don't know that I would write more about them, but understanding them is at least more in that direction.

Tied to that, I'd like to find more new-to-me authors to read. My fic reading has fallen off a cliff for various reasons, but it's always a thrill to find talented writers who tackle the Fam in a cogent and engaging way.

Not necessarily specific to 2025, but I've never officially collaborated on a fic with anyone. That might be fun.

[bookaddict24-7]

Reviews of the Week!

Books I’ve read so far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

___

70. Living Dead in Dallas by Charlaine Harris--⭐️⭐️⭐️

Re-read May 2023

I agree with the first re-read review I wrote of this book--both that this is a great example of the prejudices that dominated so much back then (and let's be honest, still live on in today's society), and that I hate Bill. He's such a dick.

I love that SOOKEH meets a new friend in this one and that her adventurous life truly begins. There's also more smut than I remember.

I don't have much to say about this one, other than I missed this creative world. Glad I get to re-read these with my friends!

___

71. What Lives in the Woods by Lindsay Currie--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

My friend read this a while ago, so it was on my radar when I found the audiobook at the library. While it wasn't the best MGLit horror I've read, it was super entertaining.

I wasn't expecting to be genuinely creeped out by anything in this book, but this was such an atmospheric read that you can't help but be completely creeped out. From the mystery, to the ghostly sightings and night time shadows creeping around the corner. Add in the disbelieving adults and you've got a recipe for a great summer spookfest.

One of my favourite things about this book, however, is the love that is shown towards books. Especially because of the MC's aspirations to be a mystery author. There are some pretty great bookish quotes and even a new friend who shares the same love for books as the MC.

I'm curious about a sequel to this book explaining those creepy things living in the woods...

___

72. The Story of Us by Catherine Hernandez--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The last time I read a Catherine Hernandez book, I thought it was absolutely incredible. I cried and laughed with SCARBOROUGH. When I read the synopsis for THE STORY OF US, I wasn't sure how I felt about the story. I didn't know if it would be one of those books that would have me questioning why I'm reading a story about seemingly...nothing?

But.

But.

I'm so glad I ignored that worry and picked this beautiful and eye-opening book up. Much like with her debut, Hernandez had me laughing, crying, and feeling so many levels of anger.

This was a beautiful and heartbreaking collection of experiences that the MC has throughout her life as a nanny and then a Personal Support Worker. The stories we see and the people we meet through her experiences were a collection of personalities that we might see every day on our commute in the city, or that we might know of in passing or through friends and family. It was such a diverse number of experiences that while one might have had you despairing for the MC's experiences, another might restore a bit of the hope one can't help but have in such a situation.

All of these stories are told by the unlikeliest of narrators, which I think added a special level to the story. Especially in certain moments when the recounting of the past is interrupted by the present-day necessities.

I urge everyone to read this book. It's incredibly eye-opening and a beautiful story about a woman who fights every day to be able to support her family. It's also a jarring reality of what it means to sacrifice yourself in order to make sure your loved ones are taken care of, and the heartbreak that can follow the decisions made along the way.

Be prepared for incredibly fraught relationships, desperate moments full of fear and powerlessness, and heartwarming moments that remind us that even though we are only human, we can have the capacity for the greatest understanding and love.

___

73. Empty Smiles by Katherine Arden--⭐️⭐️⭐️

While I've enjoyed this series for the most part, this one was maybe my least favourite one. It was shorter and I think that led to a little less time to fully invest in the story. There were still some creepy moments, but I do wish we had gotten more from this one--especially if this is potentially the last book in the series.

I did appreciate, however, how Arden shows us the mentality of a child who can't help but allow her enemy to help her because she knows it's all part of her survival. One of the things I've liked about this series is how self-sufficient the kids are, but also how their age shows in the actions and choices they make.

There was one particularly heart thudding moment and a pretty good mystery. I just wish this was fleshed out a little more. I am of the belief that even just one hundred more pages would give more depth to these stories!

I do recommend this series, however. Especially for anyone who is craving a more modern GOOSEBUMPS style story, or just a fun creepy adventure that follows a small group of precocious and brave children!

___

74. Twisted Games by Ana Huang--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have finally finished this one!!! It has been sitting on my currently reading shelf for months. The end of an era.

First off, I definitely enjoyed this one more than the first book. I loved the chemistry between the characters and how it was a slow build up to it. I remember thinking at one point, "Holy crap, it's been two years?"

Second, I couldn't stop trying to picture Rhys because wow, that man sounded very, very attractive. The size of him, plus that age gap? Yes, please.

Third, this one was a hell of a lot more spicy than book one. And that dirty talk? Jesus, I had to fan myself a few times. It was very...um, entertaining. Especially since I did a good chunk of this book through audiobook. Which brings me to the fact that I wasn't a fan of the voice actor for Bridget--her whispery voice literally made my one ear hurt for a good chunk of the first day I started listening to the audiobook.

And while I loved the story and the spice and chemistry, I'll admit that this book felt LONG. So much happened and while I enjoyed the twists and the outcome, it sometimes felt exhausting to finally reach those points because I knew there was enough time for shit to hit the fan.

I think if you weren't the biggest fan of book one, you might like this one more. It has more of a spark, if I'm completely honest.

___

75. Something More by Jackie Khalilieh--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I received a copy via the publisher because I was the panel host for an event with the author. This did not affect my review at all.

I first became aware of SOMETHING MORE after one of my favourite YA authors commented on it during one of our interviews. She was raving about it and I immediately wanted to check it out. I watched, even more curious, as this beautiful book got an equally beautiful cover and ARCs finally came out into the world.

Khalilieh's debut follows a fifteen year-old newly diagnosed Autistic girl as she embarks on one of life's greatest challenges: high school. I love seeing her learn to navigate her world as an Autistic character and appreciated how she viewed the world and how different or similar her experiences were to mine at that age.

Jessie, the main character, was a character who had so many layers and honestly, watching her grow and accept who she is was such a highlight of the story. Yes, she's in a love triangle between two boys who both cherish her for different reasons, but I like to think that the heart of this book was Jessie and her growth as a character. I applaud Khalilieh for being so honest and upfront about Jessie and who she is. I am grateful that I was able to read a book that so fully embodied what the experience of a 15 year-old Autistic teenager might be like in the dangerous wild that is high school.

I was immediately captured from the beginning of the book and I genuinely couldn't stop reading until I got to the end where Jessie would, hopefully, pick the boy I was rooting for. I also really enjoyed seeing Jessie's culture and the family dynamics of her home. Her sibling relationships and complex relationship with a father who has a harder time coming to terms with Jessie's diagnosis gave the story an even deeper level and a lot more heart. This isn't just any young adult contemporary novel, this is a map of first experiences, understanding, compassion, and the difficult lessons we sometimes face when we're still growing into the people we will be one day.

If you want a YA novel with heart, diversity, and characters who jump off the page, then I highly recommend this one!!

___

Have you read any of these books? Let me know your thoughts!

___

Happy reading!

[a-christmas-carol-from-hr]

define ‘noun’

TW: discussion of child loss, implications of poor mental health

A/N: an exploration of That One Line from ‘Ballad’. Sort of a Marley character study I wrote while brooding and I accidentally liked so. Here you go.

He was a father for thirteen days.

Thirteen. The entire length of his fatherhood could fit into the span of the Cuban Missile Crisis, the cold war escalation of miscommunication and silent stares nestling neatly into his memories of that time. His time as a father lasted one day longer than Pope Urban VII's papacy, and one day shorter than Eleanor, Queen of Navarre's reign. Thirteen days. Three hundred and twelve hours. A small number in the grand scheme of things. You could count to three hundred and twelve if you felt so inclined. A drop in the bucket. Thirteen days.

Thirteen. A number. Numbers, he can follow, but they've always been more Ellen's thing than his own. Now Marley, Marley likes words. Words are something he understands. Words are something he *knows*. There were few men in London that knew words like he did. A speech given one way can calm a crowd. The same speech said in a slightly different way could enrage it. *Friends, Romans, Countrymen...*

Words he knows. Words he understands.

There is no word for how he feels now.

On nights when he can't sleep because his mind won't let him and Ellen is a bedroom and a galaxy away, he plays Scrabble on his phone. Marley lies there, making triple word scores in the dark. With Ellen in the other room he turns the sound on, and the artificial click of the digital tiles gives him some satisfaction as he scores against witless American housewives.

He slaps down words such as 'zaxes' and 'hazy'. He vanquishes his would-be Scrabble rivals with clever quips like 'quixotry' and 'zymurgy'.

And he tries not to think about how Ellen hasn't said a word to him unrelated to work in nearly two months.

He's not sure how to define himself anymore. Not really. His words have failed him, in that he has no idea what to say to Ellen to even begin to try and reach her. She has drifted so far from anything he knows about her. He tries his best. He leaves her coffee when she isn't looking and makes elegant excuses for her even colder demeanor at the exchange. He tries to make sure she eats, even if the food goes untouched. Now you know how she feels.

He tries. He tries. But when she is not at work, she sits in silence in the apartment. She watches nothing with an unfixed eye, and will do so until she goes to bed. He knows she's not sleeping, even though they've not shared a bed since Beijing.

He's afraid of what he'd see if they did. So he keeps away.

Sometimes he can hear her wandering, those late nights where he sits there playing Scrabble. Some sick part of him thinks it’d be almost better if he could hear her crying. But he can’t. All he hears is silence.

Before this, he knew what he was. Before this, he could define himself. He was Jacob Marley. Chief Advertising Executive of the fintech firm Scrooge and Marley INC. Fourty years old. Male. Twin. Originally from Scotland. Graduate of Harrow. Graduate of Oxford. Incurable bastard. Literal bastard. Bulimic. Addict. Scorpio. He could define himself with nouns, beautiful, normal nouns that didn’t challenge his thoughts or keep him awake.

He never planned to put 'father' with them.

And then it happened. It had happened, and it was an absolute mess, but it couldn't be made to not happen at this point, at least in a sense of making it have never happened at all, so whatever choice she made he'd live with. And he'd gotten the sense almost immediately that the choice she made would lead to fatherhood. So. Okay. A new definition, he supposed. He tried not to think about it. She never said one way or the other, so he stuck his head in the sand like a well dressed ostrich and tried to pretend that everything was normal. He tried to pretend that all was well. He's gotten very used to smiling through his fears, so he did as he always did. He danced to take away the attention from her, and when he finished he lay in wait like a remora in the wake of a shark. *Tell me what to do, Elle. Tell me, and I'll do it.*

He smiles and he worries and he catches himself making plans for a university fund.

And then it had unhappened.

And now where was he meant to put that word?

Aerie. Noun. An eagle's nest located on a cliff. Five points.

There is a word for a man with no child. A man.

Faquir. Noun. Any Muslim or Hindu man. Seventeen points.

There is a word for a child with no parent. An orphan.

Tell me what to do, Elle. Tell me, and I'll do it. Come back and tell me how to fix this.

Syzygy. Noun. An alignment of three heavenly bodies. Twenty one points.

There is no word for a father with no child.

The person he's playing against in Scrabble places 'generational'. Thirteen point word.

He closes his phone and stares at the ceiling until dawn comes.

[kohakhearts]

🏅 😈 👖 for the fanfic ask!

thank you so much!~

🏅 What is something you recently felt proud of in regard to your writing (finished a fic, actually planned for once, etc)?

honestly...the fact that i wrote anything at all probably. this school year has been really busy for me and it's burnt me out a bit, plus i've still been recovering from everything that happened last year re: writing consistently. i'm trying to put writing into my daily schedule again, but so far i haven't managed...it's hard to get back into a habit once it's been lost unfortunately ;;

😈 Is there anything you enjoy doing that you think your readers hate?

i mean, fandom hopping is probably the biggest thing hahaha. but in terms of things i actually write, i'm not really sure? i don't think a lot about how people will receive my works when i'm in the process of writing and i don't think too much about what people think about a particular piece except when they comment or right after i post it. most of the time, if i get "hate" from readers in the comments it's in the form of "this made me cry i hate you" haha and well. i do enjoy that, so :p

👖 Are you a planner, plantser, or pantser? Is it consistent?

i'm generally a planner for big projects and a pantser for shorter ones (anything less than a novel is shorter...and even then some of my oneshots get up there in wc with minimal planning...actually, that's probably why they do hahahaha). but my planning ranges from the tens of thousands of words of mostly coheret plotting i have for asld to meme-ified disasters in the comments of my word doc so...there's that

fanfic ask game!

[oddlittlestories]

💥 👻 🚀 🦈 📗 🎨

hope it's not too many! and I actually have 1 additional question, kind of as a modification to the favorite comments you've received question: what's your favorite type of feedback? like ultra excited gushing vs thematic analysis vs line by line reactions or anything else!!

😭❤️ not too many at all!

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

Hmm. Maybe House driving his car into Cuddy’s living room? That or the handling of his disability in certain areas, either s3 or s6. s3, I like the thematic resonance but my research indicates that even if the ketamine were a magic cure for the nerve pain that he might have a bit of a limp / balance issues still & I would’ve liked to see that. s6, I’d have liked to see them try different medications & address the fact that antidepressants treat nerve pain. And add something like gabapentin to address it directly. And that ibuprofen probably isn’t a helpful treatment at all. And maybe see House struggle with the tension between something that gets him to manageable levels of pain but makes him sleepy or brain foggy and the tension in that. But of course there’s always fic.

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

Hmm. I tend to be more on the tame headcanons side ig? I headcanon that Cameron had to “fix” her parents’ marriage like Chidi from the good place, except maybe multiple times. @dr-cameron has a lot of cool thoughts on Cameron’s backstory. Sorry, that’s not very wild haha. I do like the “post-canon” theories all the cast members had, I thought Chi Park as a dominatrix was very very funny.

🚀 Do you like to outline your fic first or create as you go?

Longfics, outline (I looove my outlines). Shorter fics, no outline. Or just a few lines if they’re going to change direction / goals. But I think I wrote all my shorter fics that are up in one go.

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

This is definitely a different answer than it used to be. Maybe not in the actual “who it is” but just in the experience. Wilson takes a lot of effort for me to get into his headspace, but ESPECIALLY in this part of HH:Reprise that I’m writing bc there is so little canon material to knock me back into it. Also the man has so many layers. But I also find Foreman pretty tricky. Actually I think the hardest part is rotating through the cast and making sure everyone comes out as themselves in the bigger fics. Once I’ve settled into a POV I don’t usually have trouble, but of course I have to keep the whole cast moving in HH:Reprise, even if it’s in the background.

📗 Do you want to write something outside of fanfiction? If so, what about?

So technically I’m a self-published author! I wrote a sci-fi book about four people who wake up with no memories. I also used to write a lot of original fantasy and horror (creepypasta, mainly) short stories. Kinda want to get back into it. Id like to be a full-time creative one day, and I do have novel #2 in the works. It turns out it’s really hard to make it in sci fi as an indie author (you either have to write in genres I’m not into, or write like 50 books to get traction, and if you look at my fic posting, I’m not that fast.) So I jumped into fantasy + romance. (I do love fantasy.) But my real dream is to write an audio drama. Two ideas I had were a supernatural one about ghost hunters, or a sci fi one about a newbie who gets thrown in the deep end navigating conflicts on her first assignment.

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

I would probably literally cry. Any of my fics would probably be cool. I made half an Art of Thirteen flipping off the ceiling at Notre Dame lol. But probably HH:Reprise would be most meaningful to me. Of the scenes so far, karaoke would be fun. Thirteen hugging House would be fun. And, naturally, some scenes that haven’t been published yet. (I fully intend to create as many fake screencaps for the fic as I can.)

✒️ And for your last question! “what's your favorite type of feedback? like ultra excited gushing vs thematic analysis vs line by line reactions or anything else!!”

Ohhh this is SO hard. I love comments so much. Like, I go back and reread them often. I try really hard to respond to every comment I get. I think more detail is what really rocks my world, whether that’s specific feelings, specific ways my fic affected someone, or anything else. I don’t see a lot of thematic analysis or line by line responses, so when those do come in, they’re precious to me. I think those make me feel Seen.

Thanks so much for the long ask, it really made my day.

[myfavebandfizz]

Crucial Rhythm Interview

FIZZ Released Their Debut Album 'The Secret To Life' On October 27, 2023

Nov 2 2023

Indie-pop supergroup FIZZ released their debut album, The Secret to Life, on Friday, October 27th.

The album has a 12-song tracklist, including their hit single, “High In Brighton.”

What was the inspiration behind the album?

FIZZ: We did it in two separate weeks, the first week we did it in December 2021. We didn't know what was gonna happen but we were excited to be there. Our producer Peter is amazing, he was an amazing facilitator of creativity. He set up the room with all these instruments and most of us were used to working in dimly lit London rooms with not very much in it. We were giddy for that first week, running around and playing the drums, plugging in the guitar and just very noisy chaos. A Lot of the big songs off the album came from that first week. Then we had 6 months in the summer of 2022 and did the second half of it. It was more of the same, we had the best time the first week. We wanted to do the same thing as the first time. Naturally, the giddiness only lasts so long, it's not a sustainable state to be in emotionally. We’d write a couple of really big songs and then go in the kitchen and make dinner and chill. Someone might have a cry because they were stressed out. But then after go into the booth and belt out the song.

What are you most excited about for your upcoming record store tour and headlining tour?

FIZZ: I'm most excited to get energy back from the people who've been listening. We've done so much in the last few months, presenting the band and we've put a lot of energy into it. I'm looking forward to hearing the words sung back at you. It's satisfying and gratifying and all the good things. I'm really excited to bring it into the real world and see their reactions and see what part they laugh at or cry at.

Is there a song you’re excited for people to hear and what song are you excited to perform?

FIZZ: “Grand Finale” it's the most out there. It's the last song of the album. It's 6 minutes of how it feels to not say no to any idea. The spirit of the song feels like that. It doesn't feel like any of us were like should it be shorter, less indulgent, less key changes. That doubt is so far away from that song which is where it belongs. I love how arrogant it is in itself.

What do you hope that listeners take away from this record?

FIZZ: I hope people can take an appreciation of taking stock of their own life and realizing it is enough and it's great and to celebrate it.

How did you know “High In Brighton” was the first single to be released?

FIZZ: It was the first song that we wrote, I don't think there's anything deeper than that. I think that maybe presenting ourselves first with a song that was very everyone. Some of the songs have someone to the front but we wanted it to be clear that the band is a collective with no front person. That is always changing and shifting and being passed around. I think that was maybe a factor of choosing that one first. I just always thought because we wrote it first I like how chronological it felt. Also, it was very convenient that we launched the band at The Great Escape festival in Brighton. So it felt like a nice introduction to the beginning of something.

What has writing and recording this album taught you about finding the secret of life, especially as a group of friends?

FIZZ: We didn't want to put so much weight on writing this album. We didn't want to try and figure out what to say. It's so interesting when you let go of those pressures what comes out. They are some Amazon writers, i always knew that but coming into a room together. I struggled writing with anyone else pre FIZZ but writing with these guys it's so interesting how easily a song can be and how quickly a song can come together. Especially as best friends of all similar ages. It's interesting how a story is kinda written for us, it's already there almost and we shape it to be.

If you could feature any artist on any of the tracks who would it be?

FIZZ: Chet Atkins, the guitarist from the 60’s, we love him, he's great. Also anyone from Queen, ABBA, or The Darkness. That would be sick.

How did you guys determine how to craft the visuals to compliment the music you were making?

FIZZ: I think when we were talking about the trip itself after we came back. We were talking about it as if it was this whirlwind and was made in this dream state. It felt like a retreat from how we had been doing music in the past. It felt like we'd inverted or completely flipped our approach to music-making. Naturally when we started to think of the visual world that would mirror that we kind of referenced films we grew up watching. Like Willy Wonka, Tim Burton films, Alice in Wonderland, and Wizard of Oz, all of these sort of fantastical technicolor films that feel very joyful and exaggerated and triumphant in so many ways. But kind of had this twinge of darkness to it. Something I realized as well is that all of these films start off in normal life and then go off to these whimsical places where people go on a journey to find out more about themselves and their lives and the people they surround themselves with. Which is such a direct reference to how the making of the album was. It was just really nice that we sorta reference those films. We worked with an amazing photographer Jp Bonino who is incredible and helped bring this make-believe land called Fizzvelle that keeps coming up in all the visuals and campaigns that is part theme park part town. If you join our discord you can become a Fizzville resident. In all the artwork you can see Fizzville in the distance and there are loads of easter eggs throughout the campaign. Telling the story of the band behind the music has been really exciting.

[manyothermusingsofmine]

October Walls || Drabble

Fandom: Ace Attorney

Warnings: None

Wordcount: 1900 A/N: I got frickin' possessed by some writing spirit and wrote this in one go after coming home from work

Summary: You can only outrun, distract from and/or cope with your emotions for so long until your body just needs you to cry it out; that's my experience anyway

-------------------------------------------------

She should be happy that he was doing so well, right?

Mary lightly bit on the inside of her cheek as she watched Klavier from her desk. He was vividly describing something to Apollo, occasionally laughing when the shorter man sputtered at him in response. They were far enough away that Mary couldn't hear what they were saying, only occasionally picking up something from Apollo.

Yeah, he seemed to be doing perfectly fine. Why did that bother her? And why did it bother her that it bothered her in the first place- Okay, she had to stop herself there before just completely spiraling off.

The thing was... it was October; and a lot had happened in a previous October to the point where Mary really couldn't decide if Klavier's casual, regular behavior was something she should be concerned about or not. Granted, he wasn't like her; her mind consistently brought up things she thought she had long put behind her.

But, was Klavier really so resilient to not be bothered by any of these anniversary dates?

Mary looked to her side, momentarily watching Simon and Nevada chatter about something between them. Oh, be real, what was she even going to ask either of them; "Hey is Klavier acting normal weird to you too?"

She just lightly shook her head, focusing back on her work; or at least trying to. The whole day the feeling kept slightly nagging in the back of her head, until he suddenly appeared in front of her.

"... Yes?"

"Just wanted to let you know I'm done for today," he said with a big smile plastered on his face.

"Lucky you; I still have a couple more hours to go."

"Ach, poor you. I'm going to my place, I have some things to take care of. Will I see you there when you're done?"

"Yeah, alright."

"It's a deal. See you soon~"

He took one of her hands into his, pressing a kiss to the back of it; and with that he casually walked out of the entrance to the district court. Mary just watched him, the soft smile on her face slowly fading as a small sigh left her.

Oh, come on, she mentally huffed at herself. If Klavier was fine, then who was she to tell that he wasn't or that he had to be miserable because of what happened? She had already seen him miserable because of what happened, could she just let it the hell go?

She just turned back to her work as she mentally scolded herself.

"I'm home!"

The last few hours of her workday had gone a lot faster than she had imagined; despite that she was still glad to be at his place. She untied the half updo she always sported at work, letting her hair fall loose and putting her coat in its designated spot- and it was then she realised she hadn't gotten a reply.

He wasn't in the living room, which she could easily see into from the hallway.

"Klavier?"

No response, still. And if he had decided to pop out for whatever reason, he would've send her a message, and taken his wallet and keys with him but those were neatly placed in the first drawer of the dresser in the hallway.

So then, he was probably in his recording studio working on something, maybe with headphones on. For whatever reason, Mary felt the need to check on that after having popped her shoes off and putting them on the shoe rack.

As soon as she made it to his recording studio, she paused for a moment. Since they were dating and she occasionally dropped by, Klavier had installed a sign that he flicked on while he was working in there; but it wasn't on right now. And if there was one thing he was absolutely diligent about, it was turning that light on. Because she had asked him to, not wanting to interrupt him if he was recording music and vocals to the point where he would have to do everything all over again.

Mary slowly pushed the door open, looking around the place; and then she saw him.

Relief mixed with a sense of heartbreak as she saw him, sitting on the ground with his back against one of the foam walls. One of his legs was pulled up, one of his wrists resting up on his knee, while he was fidgeting with a guitar pick in his other hand. But it was his gaze that actually tipped her off.

He hadn't even looked up when she had come in, eyes seemingly focused on a spot on the other side of the room where the wall met the floor.

".... Klavier?" she asked, her voice soft in tone as she made her way further in, closing the door behind her. He still didn't react.

Mary hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to do as he seemed to have completely turned inward. She slowly approached him, crouching down in front of him; and not liking it one bit that he seemed to be looking straight through her.

".... Darling?"

He jumped a little, blue eyes meeting her green ones when he suddenly snapped out of the depths of his mind.

"Oh- hey," he finally answered softly, while Mary shifted from crouching to just sitting down and stretching her legs out, her feet ending up ever so lightly against the foam block wall he was leaning again.

"Are you okay?"

Klavier didn't respond again, her sitting down being just enough time for his mind to pull him back into the rising tide again.

"Klav?"

His eyes widened for a split second when he felt her hand suddenly on his lower arm, dropping the guitar pick that he held in his left hand and instinctively picking it up from besides him only to continue the fidgeting he had been up to.

"Huh, what?"

"Are you okay?"

He looked at her for a moment, before resting the back of his head against the wall behind him as a sigh escaped him.

"..... I'm fine."

"..... You don't look fine," Mary protested quietly, "You did the whole day, but you definitely don't now. What's wrong?"

He shrugged.

"Nothing. ..... Everything? ....... I don't even know. I'll be..."

He turned his gaze away from her, towards the wall on his left side. It made Mary's heart sink, and break further. How was she going to help him if he wasn't even going to look at her?

".... Is it because of what happened last-"

"Don't. Don't bring it up. I'll be fine."

"Babe-"

"If I just don't think about it I'll be fine-"

"Klav. Stop."

Mary sighed, moving to place her hand on his left cheek and gently turning his head to her, making him look at her.

"Listen to me," she pleaded softly, "just not thinking about it is not going to help you. Take it from someone who has often drowned in her own thoughts that way; it's not going to help. Talk to me. Please."

He looked at her for a moment longer, before his gaze turned down to the floor as he was desperately trying to keep his composure.

"I.." he started on a shaky breath, immediately hating how that betrayed everything he was trying to keep to himself

"I don't want you think I'm weak..."

".... Oh, darling," she said, her heart breaking once again that he would even think that. Mary shifted her weight more forward, placing her other hand on his other cheek in the hopes the physical touch would calm him down somewhat.

"Klavier, sweetheart; you are so incredibly strong, and brave. With how often I second guess and doubt myself, I've always envied this innate ability you have to just.. shake things off, shelf them for later; compartmentalize- But at some point that's going to catch up with you. And... you don't have to do it with me. I promise you I won't judge, or laugh, or mock you for feeling anything you feel."

He finally turned his gaze back to her, as hers softened in response.

"Klavier... You're always there for me. Whenever I run scared, or whenever my mind is attacking itself; You're there to reassure me. The least I want to do for you is return the favor."

Klavier sighed, lightly pulling his head free from her hands and pressing the back of it to the wall, turning his gaze up to the ceiling as he was desperately trying to keep the glistening tears from breaching their confinement.

"I don't understand," he muttered, his voice thick with emotion, "I was fine. The whole day I was fine; I was busy, I've talked so much, laughed so much, with all the noise and buzzing around the district court everything seemed to be absolutely fine. But, now that I'm alone..."

The guitar pick dropped out of his hand once more. He held both of his hands in front of himself, unable to stop them from shaking no matter how hard he tried to keep them still. And now that his eyes were turned downward, a singular tear escaped and rolled down his cheek.

He only looked back up to her when she gently placed her hands over his.

"You're not alone. I'm right here."

His breathing got more heavy, as he still desperately tried to keep himself together. The trembling went from his hands to the rest of his body; and at that point he simply gave up.

Klavier leaned forward, pressing his face in the top of her right shoulder to try and hide the fact that the tears had no intention of stopping anytime soon. Mary wrapped her right arm around his torso, while she placed her left hand on the back of his head and softly smoothed down his hair in a comforting manner.

"I've got you," she whispered to him as he wrapped his arms around her, clinging onto her for as much as he could, "I've got you, sweetheart. It's okay."

"Please don't leave me," he whimpered into her shoulder, and she instinctively and protectively tightened her grip on him.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise," she assured, letting him cry it out on her shoulder.

They sat there like that for quite a while, until most of the turmoil in Klavier had calmed down enough that they could get up and turn to the bed instead; a place a lot more comfortable than the ground of the recording studio.

Klavier rested on top of Mary, his head in the curve where the base of her neck connected to her collarbone. She easily wrapped her arms back around him, gently pulling her fingers through the long strands of his blonde hair.

"I've got you," she whispered in a reassuring tone as she heard him sniffle a little bit.

".... I'm sorry," he responded softly.

"Don't be. I'm here for you."

"... Thank you. I love you."

"I love you too."

She kept running her fingers through his hair, her free hand softly going in circles over his shoulders; all in the hopes that the physical comfort would ease his mind.

... Speaking of which, if he would ever ask; she would tell him that his physical weight on her in such a matter helped ease her mind on that day as well.

[darkshrimpemotions]

2024 Goals Update & Goals for 2025

My finances are still not great! I'm starting to think it isn't me! But they're much more stable than they were and I still have a plan going forward to get them into a truly good, sustainable place. As long as the world doesn't fucking explode in mid-January (this whole thing is pretty contingent on "as long as the world doesn't fucking explode in mid-January" this year, whoops).

I read a good bit this year, all fanfiction, and I'm good with that! I enjoyed the reading I did immensely. It made me feel fulfilled. Sometimes it made me cry. It was lovely. I have no regrets. I want to start working my way through my TBR shelf in 2025. I also want to organize my bookshelves a little more intentionally, trade in some books I'm never going to read again at my local used book store, and fill some gaps in my list of classics and old favorites I would like to own in hard copy. I also want to start doing book bindings of some of my favorite fanfictions. I have 3 in mind for 2025.

I wrote more in the last year than I have written in the previous three years combined! I also wrote more consistently, with more days spent writing, even a little bit, than days spent not writing. I wrote so much poetry, I wrote song lyrics, I broke one million words on AO3! And it felt amazing. My goal for 2025 is to keep this up. Still no word count targets or hard metrics. I want to continue to listen to the impulse to write whenever it arrives. I do want to lean into enjoying the process of writing as much as I enjoy the finished product, which is something I've gotten a little stuck on this year.

I went swimming far less last summer, but I did take more walks and drives to the state park, and that was just as good. I also did dance more in 2024, though I also pulled a back muscle dancing a little too vigorously. In 2025 I want to just be more active in ways that I enjoy and spend more time outdoors in nature and in my community. Swimming, taking walks down to the beach, going to the state park, or just walking around my neighborhood. And I want to try and remember to stretch more often, so dancing is less hazardous.

I'm still working on not getting unfinished project paralysis, but I'm doing better! I started trying a lot of new things in 2024 and it was really fun. New types of crafts, sewing projects way beyond my skill level, and I got back into drawing after about ten years of drawing nothing! In 2025 I want to fully embrace the hubris of "how hard can it be" and jump feet-first into whatever new ideas come my way, whether it's a drawing, a sewing project, a household DIY, or something else. I also want to do more cosplay, and continue to beautify my space and make it my own, really embrace what I like and need and lean into that.

I took more road trips in 2024! I discovered I still love the open road, and can drive for up to nine hours at a time and still feel pretty great. I also discovered that road trips are more fun with friends. I want to continue doing shorter road trips in 2025, and some longer ones too with friends! I also want to get back to train travel. I want to take a nice, long, multi-day train trip in 2025, to see some place I've never been before!

I did not get my PMP certification (though I did get approved to take the test!) and I did not get approved for an FHA load to buy a home. These are both still goals for me, though the second is a higher priority than the first. I really don't want the PMP and especially don't want to spend the money on it, because at this point I'm convinced it's a total scam. What I do want is to see if I can get it paid for via my job, preferably before the fact rather than after.

2024 Hopes Update & Hopes for 2025

I did continue my health progress in 2024, with some small setbacks. At this point it's a matter of balance: doing enough to keep my heart and lungs and muscles healthy without overworking my joints; resting my joints enough during flare-ups to let them heal without letting myself lose all progress. I'm not perfect at it and it can be a struggle, but I think I'm better. Getting out of the house really helps.

In 2025 I hope to continue maintaining as much good health as I can, hopefully helped along by my "get out of the house more" goal. I also want to give myself grace when I'm feeling like shit. Lastly, I really want to eschew fatphobia in my life. Set boundaries with friends who insist on weight and diet talk, especially if they're smaller than me. Call people out when they parrot misinformation around weight and health. Enjoy, care for, and present my body in ways that make me feel good regardless of what anyone thinks.

I didn't find a therapist. I'm still looking, but it's slim pickings around here. That may have to wait until I possibly move somewhere less conservative, where all the therapists aren't of the "Christian counselor" variety.

I did write more poetry in 2024! I also wrote a lot about poetry, and read a lot of poetry, both new and old favorites (Denise Duhamel my beloved, Mary Oliver my beloved). I also have an entire notebook dedicated to dissecting every song on TTPD. I hope to continue writing and appreciating poetry in 2025.

I did get to see some evil men face consequences for their actions in 2024! I hope to see more of it in 2025!

I hope to remain close to the amazing friends I've made this year and have lots more adventures with them! I hope to make lots more art and fic about my favorite silly vampires.

My hopes for better leaders did not come to pass. Given what we're all facing in 2025 and beyond, I hope we band together in our communities and take care of each other. I hope we keep loving, and making art, and experiencing joy in spite of all which is stacked against us. I hope we survive.

Things I'm Looking Forward to in 2025

Continuing the SPN watch through with the Queer Media 101 server!

Hopeful resumption of the Tayloria: Harmony's Last Hope DnD campaign

Library and bookstore trips

SPN 20th anniversary and 2nd spinoff announcement (c'mon Jacklessss)

Big Gay Road Trip!!! and meeting la vamilia in person

DragonCon 2025

Pride Month

Visits home to see my siblings and niblings and my boys

Halloween

Meeting my new fur nephew in person!

Holiday Trip Home - This year I missed my trip home due to finances and spent every single second of it wishing I'd just said fuck it and girl mathed my way through. So next year, it's happening. If I have to fucking walk the thousand miles.

Possibly moving in with friend(s)? Depending on how cards fall, I hope to move further north, with at least one friend, later this year!

I'm going into 2025 with a lot more trepidation than I entered 2024, but I'm hopeful too. Because what's the alternative? Alexa, play This year by the Mountain Goats.

Blatantly stealing from @pixiedustandbluebutterflies because I also dislike new year's resolutions (partly because I do inevitably run out of spoons OR just forget because wriggly brain by mid-February) but I LOVE the idea of goals, hopes, and things I'm excited about. So without further chattering...

My Goals for 2023

- Get my finances to a stable place I want to be able to delete all my payday advance apps, clean up my monthly subscriptions, pay down my credit cards so I can actually use them for emergencies as intended, and just not be scrambling around payday every two weeks to figure out how I'm going to make things work.

- Read more I'm not putting a specific number on it, I just want to spend more time reading than I did this year, especially when the only thing stopping me was doom scrolling or flipping mindlessly through my Roku channels looking for something to watch and finding nothing. I want to recapture the joy and peace I used to feel just getting lost in reading for a while, whether that's fanfiction, original fiction, nonfiction, poetry, whatever.

- Finish a WIP Any WIP, fanfic or original work, I just want to feel that sense of satisfaction when a piece I've worked on for ages is finally done.

- Go swimming every week this summer I have free unlimited access to a pool AND the beach for the first time in my life, I might as well use them!

- Learn to let go of things Specifically, tasks or goals I've set for myself that I never get around to that are mentally and emotionally blocking me from doing other things I actually want to do, like old WIPs from my Glee fandom days I can't stand to look at anymore.

My Hopes for 2023

- Get my various health issues resolved/under control

- Get to a place in therapy where I can think/talk about my familial issues without reliving them

- Finish a creative project (the one with Liz)

- Get pre-approved for a home loan

- Witness evil men finally suffer the consequences of their misdeeds

Things I'm Excited About in 2023

- Teen Wolf Movie (January)

- Bridgewater Season 2 (January)

- Criminal Minds Evolution (January)

- The Winchesters (January 24th)

- Eras Tour! (April); Going to see Taylor Swift live with some of the best people I know. We have Outfits planned!

- Pride Month (June)

- Summer (realistically May to September where I live); Can't wait to enjoy the warmth and sun and reprieve from RA symptoms and clear skin and increased energy and daily swimming that summer brings!

- Bisalp surgery (August); I am finally going to get off depo and take myself out of the running for pregnancy permanently!

- Halloween (October); Always my favorite time of year

I feel like I'm setting myself a lot of goals here but I have a lot I want to do! And if some of it doesn't happen, well. At least it wasn't for lack of trying!

I am really glad I did this because I didn't realize how much I had to look forward to this year.

[thatsadorbsyo]

Lucas - The Engineer

It was a man named Tyrus who got me into the Academy. He’d always seemed like an impossible statue of a man to me; impeccable posture, long blonde hair that he kept in a tight ponytail at the base of his skull, and a blind third eye set close within a detestable little divot in his forehead. His mouth was always an unamused gash across the lower half of his face, but against all odds, he found some reason to give me attention that bordered on positive. The gods only know why.

Maybe it was the fact that his daughter liked me. Julia and I were friends for almost fifteen years before we got engaged, but Leviticus was long gone by then. Whatever. No matter.

Mater was always bringing people like him around. A clownish procession of stiff shirts with big, loud boots and long noses, all of whom wanted to have hushed conferences in the sitting room about my and Augustin’s futures, conversing with everyone in the house except the two us. What were we supposed to do? We sat at a table in the corner, kicked our feet, tried not to look like we were booting each other’s shins under the tablecloth. Dummy shit. We were just kids.

Sometimes they gave us tests. We were ten and twelve turns old and being drilled on Euclidean geometry, Ilsabardian history, firearm etiquette. You name it, somebody eventually came around to gauge our aptitude on it, and my mother would parade us about in front of these chucklefucks like we were the keys to some as-of-yet unfound door instead of her children. I was luckier than Augustin; I had a head for numbers and could rattle off the conductive properties of sixteen types of ore, so I went to the Academy. He went to the training corps.

Leviticus lux Tyrus was the man who eventually sat me down in the parlor of our house to inform me that the council of self-important adults had decided my fate. His frame was too large for our chairs, so we sat on the sofa, a nightmare in lilac velveteen that pater wouldn’t let us use unless company was present. There was a burn mark under one of the throw pillows, so I sat on that side, and Leviticus settled into the far edge with the creak of stressed wood and the wheeze of compressing upholstery.

He stared at me for a long moment before deigning to speak to me, I remember this much. His gaze made my stomach curdle, but I was too much of a bullheaded little shit to break eye contact. Maybe that impressed him, I don’t know. Even back then, his blue eyes had started to dull in color to match the indifferent sheen of his soul, and to this day I don’t know how the ejaculate of that man could have ended up creating someone like Julia, but it might be the one kind thing he’s ever done for this world. That, and saving me from the meat grinder. Forgive me if I don’t thank him; it’s a complicated thing.

His military obligations to the imperial machine pulled him away from the Academy only two years into my studies, so while he was maybe the most foundational asshole to my education, he was never my greatest inspiration nor my most substantial mentor. Maybe this is lucky; his cruelty found more artistic expression in munitions design than it ever did teaching snot-nosed children how to build transistors, anyhow. Over time, my field of focus drifted elsewhere, but that was how he let me whet my teeth: robotics.

You like gadgets, girl? he’d asked me, leaning forward with both hands clasped in his lap. Despite how clean-cut of a man he was, his knuckles had been bruised and split, scabbed over. This was not a man who worked in theory; he was an engineer, an active one. Experimental. A visionary, not quite on the level of Garlond, but perhaps all the more dangerous for his lesser stature and subsequent lack of oversight. Reckless.

Today, my hands bear the same signature. I keep myself in good hygiene, but no amount of scrubbing will fix the chronic mess of my fists. I don’t hate it; it reminds me that it’s not enough to live a life of the mind, that I eventually have to put my thoughts to task and create something. The brain and the hands are a functioning organism. If you neglect one or the other, you end up with either derivative, uninspired drivel or nothing to fucking show for yourself. It’s a meditation under which I find purpose; one of the few.

We don’t always get to choose our most critical influences. Tyrus taught me that, too.

[feriowind]

i wrote up a whooole feral luffy AU bit on twitter last night so am posting it here too (slightly cleaned up) hahaha

Feral luffy AU where the basis is that Luffy is the one who, somehow, set sail the day the celestial dragons arrived and had his boat shot down. 

 He's considerably further out to sea when this happens, and when he falls into the water, he's swept away by a strange ocean current. He winds up on a deserted island surrounded by the same strange currents and it keeps him stranded. 

 Ace and Sabo are devastated by the loss of Luffy, as is Garp, Makino, Dadan and the bandits, and later on Dragon and Shanks when they find out, attempts are made to locate Luffy's body but they never find him, the assumption that he sank too far out into the ocean due to his devil fruit. Ace & Sabo grow up significantly less cheerful without Luffy's presence, but their bond to one another is as strong as ever.

 Sabo fakes his death after begging Garp for help, anything to throw off his family from ever finding him again. Garp agrees because his hatred of certain nobility has grown significantly after Luffy's "death", and he can't stand the thought of losing another grandson.

 Luffy meanwhile, adapts as best he can. Surviving in this new jungle is painful, but doable despite the constant near brushes with death. The true hardship is how lonely he is without his brothers. Luffy has always thrived in the company of others, and without any he struggles, but again, Luffy adapts. 

 He manages to befriend some of the animals in the jungle, and accidentally discovers conqueror's haki when he nearly loses his hat to a predator, his one link to something beyond this island.

 The animals can't replace his brothers, but they ward off the loneliness. Throughout this time, Luffy makes multiple attempts to sail off the island with handmade rafts. Craftsmanship has never been his strong suit however, so they crumble instantly in the harsh currents.

 Perhaps due to luck, the currents always wash him back ashore instead of allowing him to sink and drown. Luffy's speech also slowly degrades over time. As much as he loves talking to his animal friends, the inability to hear someone else speak causes his words to slur and distort

 Ace and Sabo still hold true to their promise to set sail at age 17, but decide that they want to sail together instead of separating. When they finally set sail, they decide to take their time getting to the Grandline, exploring more of the East Blue at a leisurely pace.

After roughly a week of sailing, they get caught in a freak storm and are swept away by a giant wave where they too end up caught in the same strange current that stole Luffy all those years ago. The two wind up unconscious on Luffy's island, where Luffy finds them on the beach.

Luffy doesn't recognize them however, only that wow! For the first time since he arrived, there are other humans on the island with him that are alive! It's an exciting occurrence, and Luffy drags their bodies to the jungle where the tide won't reach.

When poking and prodding don't wake the two, Luffy sets off to gather food for his guests. He still remembers how tired and hungry he was when he first washed ashore, and figures they'd feel the same. As Luffy comes back, Ace wakes up in a panic.

Luffy rushes Ace in excitement and babbles. It's nearly incomprehensible to Ace however, especially in his panicked just-woken hazy-brained state. All Ace wants is to know where Sabo is and where this place is, and pushes Luffy away.

That's when Ace notices Sabo is lying just a few feet away asleep. The tension leaves him immediately and he's able to actually pay attention to the stranger trying to talk to him. 

Luffy is young and shorter than what he would have been had he been able to grow up on Dawn Island. His hair is long, wild and tangled, and he's dressed in furs and leathers. As Ace is studying him, he asks if he's the one who saved him and Sabo. 

For a moment Luffy stares silent, mind untangling the words until they make sense, and then he nods exuberantly. He tries to explain that he found them unconscious on the beach along with their boat, but Ace can barely decipher Luffy's speech. It sounds like someone speaking with a heavy accent at lightning speed.

But it’s then Ace notices the faint scar under Luffy's eye, and the strawhat hanging off his back. That in combination with Luffy's excited movements and speech sets off confusing alarms in his head.

Luffy's dead, Ace knows this, but he forces this strange kid to calm down and asks for his name. Again it takes a moment for Luffy to understand, and he replies. There's that same strange lilt to his words, but it's clear. Monkey D. Luffy! and it's said with a wide, proud grin.

Ace's world tilts then. Luffy? MONKEY D. LUFFY? His brain feels like its shorting out, refusing to register this new bit of information. He thinks he chokes a reply of some kind, but his mind feels blank. Luffy only laughs, not noticing Ace's shock.

In broken speech he asks for Ace's name too, but Ace doesn't hear his question, can only stare at Luffy's face. It can't be Luffy, he thinks. Because if it is... IF IT IS... They're only roughly a week's sail from Dawn Island. Just 7 days.

Is this boy trying to tell Ace that Luffy, in these past 7 years, was only a 7 days boat ride away? And they simply didn't look hard enough? He was here all alone while Ace and Sabo moved on? Ace's heart feels like it's constricting as his vision tunnels in on Luffy.

Luffy's finally noticed that this stranger is looking pale and ill, and pats him in worry. Is he sick? Does he need food? Are you okay, he asks. Ace grabs Luffy's arm then and stares at him with a strange expression. Luffy, it's me, he says, voice shaking. Ace.

Luffy's brows furrow in confusion and he tilts his head. Ace repeats himself, voice growing stronger. I'm Ace! he exclaims, and waits (prays) to see the light of recognition in Luffy's eyes.

Luffy mouths Ace's words silently to himself with frown. Ace? ...ACE! Luffy suddenly leaps towards Ace, landing directly on his chest and crushing him against a tree. He's directly on him and he's got Ace's head clasped roughly between his hands as he stares at his face intently

Ace? Luffy asks out loud, and starts repeating it over and over as he studies Ace's face. Luffy's grip is stronger than expected but Ace manages to give a jerky nod. The piercing stare breaks and Luffy's eyes water. ACE! he cries out in joy and it's the only word he can say.

Luffy wildly paws at Ace's face, then shoulders and arms, as if trying to make sure he's really there, and he's laughing and crying all at once. He then suddenly turns to Sabo on the ground and starts patting his body. He looks up at Ace with a hopeful smile and asks, Sabo?

Ace chokes back a sob because oh. OH. It's really Luffy! He was here this whole time and they never knew! Why hadn't they just looked HARDER? Luffy meanwhile crows in joy and triumph that BOTH his brothers are here with him. 

Ace gets down next to Sabo and starts violently shaking him. Wake up WAKE UP, how can he be SLEEPING when the greatest thing they thought they had lost was BACK. Sabo groans awake and is greeted by the pained teary face of Ace and an equally teary, but grinning stranger

 the shock of the scene jolts Sabo upright and he asks what's wrong? What happened? Ace just points to the boy beside him. It's Luffy, he says through clenched teeth, as if he were trying his best to stave off a breakdown. Huh? Sabo replies, what about Luffy?

 it's LUFFY, Ace grits out again, and this time Luffy chimes in with a cheery, Sabo! and leans in close to his face. Sabo is still confused and Ace nearly snarls in frustration. Luffy's ALIVE, Ace growls, and Luffy laughs. Sabo stares at Luffy and understanding slowly dawns.

 Luffy? he asks in disbelief, and Luffy nods excitedly before crowding in Sabo's face even more. Sabo! Luffy says with a smile and starts repeating his name like he had done with Ace earlier. Sabo, Luffy's been here this whole time, Ace says in a pained whisper.

 This whole time? And the same realization that Ace had grows in Sabo. Luffy, you've been here, all alone...? And we were so close? Sabo's body moves and wraps Luffy's body in a bone crushing hug. Luffy, I- we didn't know! Sabo stammers but it sounds like a terrible excuse.

 Guilt is devouring both Ace and Sabo but Luffy is only smiling. He's overjoyed that his brothers are here, and with their help he can definitely get off this island now! Things do work out!

 We have to go back to Dawn Island, Sabo says suddenly. We need to take Luffy home and we- we gotta tell Gramps! And Dadan and Makino! Luffy's okay! He's okay! And it's like a dam breaks and Sabo is the first one to break down into a full-body sob.

 Luffy gives a cry of dismay and does his best to comfort Sabo. Ace gives in and wraps both Luffy and Sabo in a hug. Both older brothers are whispering apologies to Luffy responds with just wrapping his arms several times around them both in one of his infamous rubbery hugs.

 like luffy had tried to explain earlier, the brothers' ship is beached on the coast and, surprisingly, only suffering a few minor scuffs. their departure is fairly swift, only waiting for the ideal weather after gathering some supplies and luffy's scant belongings

 Perhaps one or two of Luffy's animal friends joins them, but regardless, with the help of a 3 man crew, a sturdy ship, and an actual navigator, Luffy finally escapes the island, and the 3 brothers head home.

 Now all Ace and Sabo have to worry about is helping Luffy readjust to human civilization........

[thesunicarusfellfor]

hello!!can you do a part two of your Yandere!Tommy x Reader x Yandere!Tubbo Headcanons/Fic ?! i loved it!!

It amazes me how this became a fan favourite OVERNIGHT like daaaaamn!

This one is gonna be split into parts around the end, so like what happens if you choose Tubbo/Tommy/Neither/Both

(f/l) = first letter of your name

(N/n) = nickname

(f/f) = Favourite flowers

Eggpire does not exist

ALSO. The last Route (Neither) I wrote is shorter because apparently, Tumblr wants to crash after you surpass 10k words, but I could write a continuation fic of Neither that might turn into another x reader? Just platonic? Not sure. Remember, I will always write a continuation of a fic if ever asked.

TW: Yandere, Explosions, Burns, Scars, Manipulation, Mention of Painkillers and being drowsy on them, brief mention of collapsing

Part one

Yandere!Tommy x GN!Reader x Yandere!Tubbo Headcanon/Fic Part 2

Tommy was furious to see you spending time with anyone that wasn’t him.

But seeing you having an early morning coffee with Ranboo??? Tubbo’s husband???

He was about to light the damn house on fire he was so pissed! That’s not even exaggerating, he would’ve and had you live with him! Although he wouldn’t let you know he did it.

Poor Ranboo was trembling so bad, genuinely fearing for his canon lives.

You quickly got up and stood in Tommy’s sight, prevent him from glaring at your tall friend, although he still didn’t look happy.

Before anyone could say anything else, Tubbo stormed through the door with his sword in his hand and teeth violently grit together.

“So... You weren’t trying to throw me off by writing about going to see them in your memory book,” Tubbo growled softly at his husband causing Ranboo to desperately pull his memory book closer to his chest, tears brimming his eyes. You could understand why, his best friend went through his memory book without his knowledge and possibly went through his other things in an attempt to figure out what he was doing.

“I guess neither of you are loyal...” Tommy grumbled with a roll of his eyes, causing Tubbo to give him a hard jab in the ribs, “Ow! Bloody hell, mate! I’m just saying both of you are going for them without even breaking up first!”

“It’s platonic!” Both Tubbo and Ranboo stated although Ranboo’s voice came out as a tiny and meek protest, rather than Tubbo’s annoyed growl. Clearing his throat awkwardly, Ranboo put his crown back on his head, “I’m-I’m not interested in chasing them, so no... I was just talking to them...” He visibly shrank in on himself as the two boys glared darkly at him, “I... Should go...”

“Hold up.” You pointed at him, making the tall and lanky male stay seated in his spot while you turned back to Tubbo and Tommy, “I know why Ranboo is here. I know why he,” You pointed to Tommy, “Is here. He always kicks down my door early in the morning to do some crazy things. But why are you here?” Moving your finger to point at Tubbo, you noticed his look immediately softened upon you turning your attention towards him.

His cheeks became a light pink and his goat ears fluttered slightly as he put his sword away, “Am I not allowed to visit?” There. There was one of the mood switches and manipulation Ranboo warned you about. “Tommy invited me to L’Manberg, and I heard my beloved platonic husband was in the area as well. Plus Tommy left the door open.”

You blinked a bit, caught off guard by the fact that Tubbo completely brushed over the fact that he was here because he had read Ranboo’s memory book, “Oh, I see... Then shall we all go mining today? We’d be able to get a lot more ores than before!” You smiled, pretending that your two friends didn’t kick down your door and threaten the man who was just trying to protect you.

“With Tubbo and Ranboo?” Tommy growled out in disgust at the thought of you spending time with them, “But (Y/n)! We always go mining on Thursday mornings! It’s our thing. Between just US! Aka, not Tubbo and Ranboo...”

“I- uh, have a meeting with Techno and Phil later today, so I can’t go. Sorry, (Y/n)...” Ranboo murmured, although you could tell by the shakiness of his voice that he wanted nothing more than to run and hide in his panic room.

“I’d love to go!” Tubbo chirped softly, ignoring the audible noise of disgust and annoyance that Tommy made, “Let me just get my stuff from my enderchest.” He walked over to your enderchest and opened it. You didn’t mind too much as you gave everyone full permission to make themselves at home in your house, but you were just a bit shaken up at the moment.

Ranboo quickly got up and scurried out the door, giving you an odd look as he passed by. He looked... Guilty, but his smile was sad and soft, but seemingly affectionate. You knew he would help if these two were scaring you too much.

The two boys brought you to an unpopular mine in the DreamSMP that was filled to the brim with ores.

They were quick to take down any and all mobs that came within any sort of distance to you, recklessly charging without a second thought in attempts to protect you.

While there was intense amounts of fear and tension circling through your veins because of this morning, you did quickly grow to have fun with the banter between these two.

Even Tommy and Tubbo were having fun bickering, almost seeming to forget the fact that they were in a war with each other. Almost.

The constant fluttering of their hearts and warmth on their cheeks was an easy reminder of what they were fighting for.

Every single ore, gemstone and pretty rock that you looked at, the boys would immediately pick up and put in their bags so you didn’t have to carry it.

When Tommy began to whine about being hungry, you wanted to go back to the surface to eat the food you had packed, but they both thought that was too far.

So, you suggested sitting down in the abandoned mineshaft you had discovered.

“Ooh!” Tubbo squeaked, his ears wiggling as he turned the corner of the mineshaft, “There’s a ravine over here! Let’s eat by the light of the lava so we don’t waste all our torches!”

“Finally! I’m starving!” Tommy tossed his ore-filled bag off of his shoulder and set it against the wall. Once you spread out the thick blanket you had brought on the ground, he plopped himself down and set down his shield and sword, “What do you have for food today, Big/Little (F/l)?”

You hummed as Tubbo sat himself down on the other side of you with a yawn, likely not used to getting up early, “I have... Sandwiches, some fruit slices, berries, y’know, the usual. You tired, Tubbo?” Glancing over at the brunet, you saw him rubbing his eyes with the long sleeve of his brown and yellow striped sweater that you had made him when he first travelled to Snowchester.

“Little bit, yeah. Can I lay against you? Just for a little bit?” He asked softly as you handed Tommy a sandwich, which he practically inhaled in seconds. Once you gave a nod of approval, the smaller boy laid down and curled up with his head against your lap.

Tommy grumbled in annoyance and without thinking much, laid down as well with his head against your leg too. When you gave him a small questioning look as this was highly out character for him, but he simply just mumbled about how you were definitely more comfortable than the rocks.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there, unconsciously playing with their hair as you glanced around the stone walls for any untouched ores, but by now both boys were asleep and you didn’t feel like waking them up. Taking your time, you began to consider your situation now that you knew both boys were smitten with you and practically willing to hurt anyone who came in contact with you.

Tubbo’s mood switches scared you, a lot, and you were worried that him being the nice and blushing boy you had met a few years ago was nothing but an act and that all the gifts were an attempt to lure you in or distract you from his violent tendencies. You had watched him walk into your house, eyes blank and filled with rage towards his platonic soulmate for talking to you without his knowledge, and you were worried that soon that rage would be directed at you for doing something he didn’t like.

Tommy’s violent tendencies were just as scary though, so he wasn’t in the clear in your eyes either. While he did shape up a lot from when you first met, he still had a tendency to bark insults at you and hurt your feelings, which you hope is unintentional. He also often tried to threaten people and keep them away from you, like Eret or Niki who got yelled at and a tad bit injured after they had given you gifts or offered to bring you somewhere cool... They didn’t really spend time with you anymore after that... You missed them and didn’t want the same thing to happen to Ranboo.

But, this couldn’t go on forever. You couldn’t just run... and you knew very well that rejecting either of the two would cause the other to lash out severely, to the point where the one you chose, you, and your friends were in major trouble. It’s not like you could choose both right? ...Right? Then again... Choosing both would potentially cause tension to stir up again between the two best friends.

Your train of thought was violently derailed when you heard a hard thud a few meters in front of you. With a small gasp, you looked up and saw a creature of varying different shades of green slowly looking around before a few more thuds followed behind it. Before you could even think of waking the two boys, the green creature began to run at you quickly with its four legs.

A creeper.

A terrified cry left your lips and suddenly the weight on your lap vanished. Now awake, Tommy immediately grabbed his shield and used it alongside his body weight to slam into the creeper backwards into a small horde of zombies that had dropped down with it. “Get up you dumbass! Are you tryin’ to die?!” The blond yelled at you as Tubbo, who had also sprung up at the sound of your fear, began firing arrows at the group of mobs.

Once you got over your shock, you grabbed your axe and shield before quickly jumping to your feet and charging into battle. The zombie you had chosen to fight gurgled and swiped and gnashed its teeth together at you as you used your shield to block its hits. Backing up a few steps, you slashed your axe at the undead mob and took out its bottom jaw with the black blade, gleaming with an enchantment that set the creature on fire. The smell of burning rotten flesh caused you to gag and scrunch up your nose before you used your shield to shove it into the pit of lava at the bottom of the ravine.

Laughing softly in triumph, you turn around to help Tubbo and Tommy, only to let out another gasp of shock as you saw the very creeper that had been shoved away earlier had now returned with a vengeance. And it was mere inches away from your face.

There wasn’t much you could do except barely raise your shield in time to block a good majority of the explosion from damaging your body, launching chunks of stone outwards and off the edge of the ravine. 

And you as well.

“(Y/n)!!!” Tubbo’s voice echoed through the stone cavern as you felt yourself get launched backwards before beginning to fall, gravity quickly beginning to grasp onto you and drag you down towards the lava below.

Reaching out, to grab onto anything that would stop you from falling, but to no avail. Your mind barely registered Tommy and Tubbo running towards you before you shut your eyes tightly, silently praying to whatever or whoever to save you.

Then you stopped dead in the air, something wrapped around your arms and hands.

Taking a deep breath, you opened your eyes and looked up to see the human and a goat hybrid that had been laying with their heads in your lap just minutes ago, were now desperately grasping one arm each, preventing you from falling to the end of one of your canon lives. Both of their blue eyes were filled with tears that were dripping down their faces and hitting the molten rock at the bottom of the ravine as they struggled to pull you up.

Once you felt the solid ground below you, you finally managed to take a few breaths to calm yourself down as you felt tight arms wrap around you on either side, barely able to comprehend the sobs of terror from your savours. The dull burning and throbbing pain on your cheek were enough to bring you down to reality and carefully wrap your arms around the two wailing teens as they desperately clung to you, almost as if you were going to vanish right below their fingertips.

Tommy was the first to gather himself and pull himself away from your good shoulder and rub his eyes free of tears to look at the new injuries covering your body and your busted armour, “F-fuck... We’re gonna have to get you to Phil to get those burns patched up...” He sniffled, trying to act like he wasn’t just bawling his eyes out over you nearly losing a canon life. For once, he didn’t seem to mind Tubbo clinging onto you and wailing into your side as you pet his hair, trying to calm him down. 

Tubbo refused to let go of you for the next hour as you travelled out of the mine, his arms desperately wrapped around your waist/shoulders. (Depending on your height)

Tommy also held onto your non-burnt hand, that once held your shield, as he carried yours and his bag, leading you both back the way you came

If another mob came out to fight, it was almost a guarantee that one of them would run forward and the other would lightly push you into a corner, then proceed to block you from view via a shield and their body,

Even if you thought that you were in a decent enough condition to fight, the one shielding you would only look at you sadly and shake their head, saying something about the explosion burns along your (s/t) skin.

Once you had gotten out of the mine, it was around 6pm, and the sun was going down, but luckily Tommy had sent a message to Philza, his father, about the situation, so he was prepared and already at Tommy’s house, which was the closest to the mine.

It wasn’t a long walk, but god you were so exhausted..

It got to the point where Tommy and Tubbo were on either side of you, preventing you from collapsing before you got to the home.

Let’s just say, when they opened the door, Philza was already there and immediately panicked upon seeing the injuries covering the one side of you and the state of your armour. (No you were not wearing the god armour Tubbo gave you.)

One of your cheeks and lower jaw were burnt and bleeding, along with your dominant arm and leg that weren’t behind the shield when the explosion went off.

Tommy Route - Mellohi

Because your home still being near L’Manberg and the Prime Path (In this route), it was easier for Tommy to check up on you while you were healing from your injuries.

While you were bedridden, Tommy was a lot, a lot, quieter when he came into your house, never sure whether or not you were sleeping.

If you weren’t, he would eagerly show you something he found, tell you some drama he heard around the area, or tell you about his day. Or just play Mellohi on constant repeat.

If you were asleep, he would silently walk over and check on your bandages or potion supply, (updating Phil if you were low or bleeding from moving too much), or even sit beside you for a little bit to make sure you wouldn’t just stop breathing out of nowhere.

To say he was scared your entire recovery process would be an understatement.

He would rarely let anyone but Phil check on you, definitely nearly blowing his nerve when Ranboo or Tubbo would walk into your house.

If it was Ranboo, we would definitely get picked up and thrown,

If it was Tubbo, he would try and push him out because he knew that threats wouldn’t work on him.

In the situation that he did push Tubbo out, Tommy would immediately lock the door and stay in there for the next few days

For the more likely situation, because we all know how stubborn that goat is, and he wasn’t able to push Tubbo out, Tommy would subtly put a few drops of the sleeping potion Phil made you, into your drink.

When you began to doze off, Tommy would mention it to Tubbo in the most serious voice he could muster. It always worked, because Tubbo wanted what was best for your health.

The absolute minute that Philza deems you stable enough to get off of bed rest, Tommy is by your side in seconds and trying to encourage you to stand up.

When you do get the nerve to try and stand again, he would immediately be holding your good arm, preventing you from falling if your bad leg suddenly gave out.

In the case that you do collapse from your injuries, he would at first be extremely panicked, but then he’d start calling you insulting names and calling you an idiot.

He would bring you on walks all around the DreamSMP to get you used to walking again but would have no problems sitting down again.

That’s a lie.

He would complain a little bit, but if he saw you were genuinely in a lot of pain, he would just shut up and awkwardly ask what he could do.

If you needed anything for pain, he would straight up run to your home and get it, if they already didn’t have it.

The fact that you’re spending so much time with Tommy absolutely infuriates Tubbo, and he tries to guilt-trip you into spending more time with him.

But then Ranboo tells him that you can barely walk down the Prime Path without wanting to cry from the pain of the burns, and he offers to move back to L’Manberg. Or at least what’s left of it.

This sparks an argument between Ranboo and Tubbo almost immediately, but you’re much too tired to try and stop it, instead quietly asking Tommy if he can help go back to your home or to get them out so you could sleep.

He would be glad to.

Like he would do it, with an absolute goofy smile on his face because he basically gets your permission to have your attention all to himself!

When you’re all healed, your relationship between you and Tommy has practically tripled from what it was.

You’re much closer to him than he was to Tubbo, to the point where he has told you everything.

Even about his exile...

Because of your closeness to him, he somehow got even more protective but also calmed down his threats.

Like, now you could talk to Niki and Eret again, but you were not allowed to leave your house at night alone, especially after mobs have spawned.

Hell sometimes if he’s really paranoid, he’ll go to your house and spend the night just to make sure mobs don’t bang on your door or ruin anything.

He straight up took the time out of his life to fence the property around your house off and fill it with torches so things didn’t spawn in.

Sure he’ll call you slightly insulting names, but he makes sure that they wouldn’t be too painful for you before saying them aloud.

Tubbo still tries to be nice and manipulative, which Ranboo tries to stop, but it’s pretty much worthless at this point.

He’s lost.

He knows it, Ranboo knows it, and Tommy damn well brags about it.

Tubbo does end up crying to you quite a bit about it, but you can understand, he’s heartbroken at this point and can’t do anything about it. Tommy and you know about his manipulation tactics, he couldn’t take Tommy’s last life because it would show up on your communicator, and then you would never love him!

Unfortunately, this does cause him to lash out at Ranboo quite a lot which led to their third divorce. Although this one seems quite a bit more permanent, you never know. (Ranboo took Michael)

One evening, Tommy invited you out of the house oddly enough. Even though mobs would be spawning soon? It greatly confused you.

He even asked you to wear nicer clothing? Like a tux or a dress? Either one or both worked in his eyes.

Honestly, you weren’t sure how you were supposed to fight mobs in a fancy outfit, but you trusted him.

“Tommy?” You asked, opening the door as you smoothed out your clothing with your hands and adjusted your hair a tad bit to your liking. It was shocking to see the tall blond nicely cleaned up and wearing a suit, but it was quite a welcome sight!

He nervously adjusted his red tie before holding out a bouquet of perfect (f/f), and cleared his throat, “You... Uh... Clean up nice. I- uh... No- wait... What did Sam say again?” He murmured to himself, “Ah fuck it... You look nice, (Y/n).”

You chuckled as your cheeks flushed a light pink, happily taking the bouquet filled with your favourite flowers, “I’ll put these in a vase and then we can go where you wanna bring me.” With a smile, you quickly placed the flowers in a glass vase filled with water before going back out with Tommy.

“Sh-shall we? Is that a common phrase to say?” He asked as he held out his arm for you to link with his, a habit he picked up from walking you around while you were healing.

“I suppose we shall. Calm down Tommy, no need to be all fancy and stuff around me.” You chirped with a small smiled as you took his arm, linking it with his, “Now, are you going to tell me where we’re going? Or is this supposed to remain a mystery?”

Tomathy visibly relaxed once you told him he didn’t have to be all professional and fancy, beginning to lead you down the Prime Path, “It’s a secret! I worked hard on it too! So you better be grateful or I’ll kick your ass.” He jokingly threatened, smiling a bit as you laughed at his typical attitude.

He led you down the wooden path, the two of you joking the entire way with a goofy smile across your faces. Tommy then took a sudden turn onto a newly made pathway and lead you down it, never answering any questions about it the entire way, even when the buildings turned into a forest. The pathway was lined with fences, and the trees were filled with small hanging lanterns, not only preventing mobs from spawning but also creating a beautiful fairy forest effect.

Seeing your look of awe, he gave a small sheepish laugh, “You like it? Puffy and Sam helped me out with it for the past few days, but this was my idea! And this isn’t even the best part!” He grinned widely before quickly pulling you along again.

The walk wasn’t very long, but it was extremely beautiful. Eventually, he brought you up to a large hill with a massive oak tree where a beautiful picnic was set up, surrounded by lantern light. Even with the lanterns, you were still able to get a clear view of the starry sky above without a single cloud in sight! “Oh my god... Tommy... This is incredible...”

“Innit? Puffy helped me make all the food, but this was my idea. Unless you don’t like it. Then it was Puffy’s idea.” He joked in an attempt to hide his nervousness as he went to ruffle his hair, but then remembered that he had spent a few hours taming it down, so he decided against it.

“I love it! This is so beautiful!” You looked up at him with a bright and happy smile, making him return it with a soft smile of his own, “Come on, oh! There’s a jukebox!” You eagerly pulled him over to the blanket and sat down, taking a look at all the food that had been set out.

The tall male happily took a disc, Mellohi to be precise, out of the enderchest that had been set beside the jukebox, neatly placing it in and pressing the button to make the music play before he sat down beside you. The two of you began to eat the meal that he helped make, joking, laughing and smiling the entire time, having the time of your life. You leaned your head against his shoulder and smiled up at him as you gently held his hand, making him realize even more how important you were to him.

Mellohi, the same song he lost his friend to, was the same song he was listening to while gaining a new important person in his life. You.

The entire night went on with you two eventually falling asleep at the top of the hill, completely unaware of the brown-haired male leaning against a tree. He desperately grasped his shirt where his heart was as tears poured down his shirt.

Tubbo always liked Cat more than Mellohi...

=

Tubbo Route - Don’t Let Me Fall

Tubbo was so so glad that he had managed to convince (manipulate) you to live in Snowchester when he did. (In this route)

Somehow managed to convince you to live in the mansion, although it was probably done when you were drowsy on the pain killer potion Phil gave you.

This man would completely ignore his own country to make sure you were well taken care of. Like Ranboo literally had to step into power and start working on things and taking care of Michael.

Speaking of the baby zombie piglin, because you were now bedridden and bored out of your mind, Tubbo frequently brought the child in if Ranboo absolutely demanded that he take over for a bit.

The baby absolutely adored you! The injuries on your body reminded you of the ones he got when he travelled to the overworld, so he didn’t feel alone.

Unfortunately because of your constant pain and drowsiness, Tubbo thought it was best that he stayed in his room. Or maybe that was because he didn’t want him getting close to you too?

It was actually extremely rare for Tubbo to let anyone in to visit you. He actually even got incredibly annoyed when even Phil would come over to restock the potions for you or make sure your wounds were healing.

On a normal day, if you were awake, Tubbo would be blabbering on about some story without a care whether or not you were listening. He would most likely be acting the story out as if it were a play, determined to provide you with as much entertainment by himself as he could.

If you were sleeping, he would also be sleeping, although on a few chairs pushed together in your room. There’s a rare time where he will stay up and watch you to make sure you’re breathing still, but that’s only if he’s really scared and paranoid.

Tommy absolutely REFUSES to even look at Snowchester, so you never really got a chance to thank him for saving you. 

Although... Tubbo very actively tries to convince you that Tommy didn’t even come to help you when you had fallen and that you had been in shock so that’s why you didn’t remember correctly.

At first, you didn’t believe him, but eventually, with constant repetition, you slowly saw it as the truth. You genuinely began to believe that Tommy hadn’t pulled you up and that it was only Tubbo that did.

After quite a few weeks, Phil told Tubbo that you could finally get out of bed, but Tubbo asked him if he was 100% sure MANY times.

The goat hybrid actually didn’t want you to get out of bed and start walking again, worried that you get up would leave him, so he wasn’t going to tell you.

But Ranboo was the one who told you.

This led to quite a violent argument between Ranboo and Tubbo, but there was nothing Tubbo could do since you already knew the information he tried to keep from you.

Tubbo started ignoring you, so Ranboo was the one to try and get you used to walking around again, but this lead to the shorter male getting extremely jealous and helping you instead.

He frequently walks you around Snowchester on a strict set schedule, when he knows no one will be out and no mobs will be spawning.

One time, he didn’t expect Tommy to be walking around the snowy forests when he was walking with you, holding your hand to make sure you didn’t lose your balance. At least that’s what he told you.

Tommy looked... Empty, when he saw you both walking together. But his eyes darkened a bit when his blue eyes landed on your hands twinned together.

Tubbo looked a little hostile in your eyes, but he simply just gave Tommy a sharp smile before trying to pull you along as if he didn’t notice the tears beginning to pool in his ex-best friend’s eyes.

Tommy knew he lost right then and there, so he decided to say fuck it and start screaming degrading names at the two of you, catching you greatly off guard, hurting you badly enough to the point where your feelings were more than a little hurt.

When the founder of Snowchester realized that the blond hurt your feelings, he was quick to lash out back at the other man in your defence, but by then you were already walking away, back to the manor.

It took about ten minutes for him to realize that you went back to the mansion, but when he did, he sprinted through the door in an absolute panic before practically pouncing on you the second his eyes caught sight of you.

He protectively wrapped himself around you and whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you quietly rested your head against his shoulder.

After that, You and Tubbo became a lot closer emotionally. To the point where he called you his platonic wife jokingly, although you both knew he didn’t want to add platonic at the beginning.

He began to tell you about everything that weighed heavy on his shoulders, like his death from Technoblade’s fireworks, even to being threatened by Dream during the disc war.

When he noticed that you were genuinely beginning to care about him, his manipulation and jealousy actually began to calm down quite a lot.

You could actually spend time with Michael and Ranboo without anyone getting yelled at by Tubbo and causing him to get ridiculously jealous.

He began to take over his job as the founder of Snowchester, now actually trusting Ranboo to keep you company and even letting him take you outside during the day. But he refused to let you out during the night.

He’s just worried about mobs. Creepers especially.

Everything seems relatively like it was before that one day before Tommy and Tubbo completely lashed out at each other.

Tommy does often try and talk to you when Tubbo isn’t around, but both you and Ranboo try and put a stop to it as quickly as possible,

He’s lost.

He hurt you, and Ranboo couldn’t help but miss how Tubbo used to be, so if keeping Tommy away from you makes Tubbo act normal, he will damn well make sure that Tommy stays countries away from you.

This does cause Wilbur’s younger brother to break down a little bit, which you can genuinely understand, even if you hold a grudge against him for not saving you and yelling at you, you knew he did have feelings for you at one point even if he refused to admit it.

Unfortunately, this does cause quite a bit of pranks and explosions to stir up around Snowchester and the L’Manberg crater, but they stop within a few weeks. Tommy probably got scolded by either Sam, Phil or Puffy,

One morning, Tubbo invited you to spend a day outside of the mansion with him after a heavy snowfall.

He spent almost all morning outside, doing something he refused to tell you about, and when he came in to wake you up, his face was already cherry red from the cold.

How could he even want to go back into the freezing cold without any sort of warm drink or even sitting in front of the fire for a bit!?

“How are you so... Full of energy?” You murmured from behind the bathroom door as you got changed into your warmer clothing for when you do go outside. The door was cracked open a small bit so you could hear Tubbo rambling on and on about how he had a great surprise for you.

“Come on! It’ll be fun!” He was obviously grinning with excitement. When you walked out of the bathroom in your thick clothing and jacket, he bounced up from his spot on the edge of your bed, “Finally! Let’s go! Hurry, before it snows or gets warmer.”

You only nodded curiously and he grabbed your hand, eagerly pulling you out of your room and down the large stairs that lead towards the door. He pushed the large doors open with a bit of difficulty due to the snow piled up, but with your help, you both managed to slip out the door. Tubbo happily grabbed your hand again and began leading you down towards the docks where the water was covered with a thick sheet of ice, “Oh it must’ve got really cold last night... What are you showing me?”

“Over here!” He pulled you over to a large half-sphere made out of snow. He led you over to a hole in the side of it before dropping down to his knees and crawling through the entrance, “Come on!”

Blinking in surprise, you hesitantly followed him inside of the handmade snow building and gave a small gasp of glee as you saw that it was an igloo! The inside had a few blankets on the ground, preventing you from sitting on the icy snow-covered ground, there were a few lanterns placed on small snow hills preventing the small room from being dark, plus there was a small basket of what looked like two thermoses and a bit of food, “Tubbo! Did you build this?”

“I did! I also spent last night building it too!” He grinned widely, his ears wiggling with glee, “But this isn’t even the best part! Check over here!” The brunet shuffled over to another basket before pulling out a pair of white boots with silver blades bolted to the bottoms.

“Ice skates?” You tilted your head a bit as you crawled over and pulled out the pair that looked to be your size, “But I can’t skate...”/”How did you even know I could skate?”

Tubbo only turned his happy grin towards you, “I’ll show you how! Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall!”/”You briefly mentioned that you missed skating once or twice when you were all dopey on painkillers a few months ago!” He pulled out his pair of skates and began to take off his boots. (After getting his skates on he helped you with yours if you didn’t know how to lace them up.)

Once your new footwear was all tied up, he helped you up and carefully lead you outside with his arms tightly wrapped around you to help you keep your balance. (Even if you did know how to skate, he was still worried about you falling.) Tubbo carefully led you towards the ice and helped you stand up straight on the frozen water, making sure that you wouldn’t fall.

“See?” He smiled softly and held your hands tightly as he began to skate backwards, pulling you along with him until you slowly got a hold of what you were doing. “You (still) got it!”

You two slid and slipped around on the ice, laughing, smiling and spinning around with the other, but suddenly out of nowhere, your blade got caught in a groove of the ice that likely got chipped out when you two were skating around. With a small cry, you felt your legs slip out from under you and you immediately shut your eyes, awaiting the inevitable impact as a result of gravity.

Thankfully, two arms wrapped around your frame before you hit the ground. You slowly cracked open your eyes and saw your best friend holding you tightly against him. Your (e/c) eyes stared into his blue ones for a few moments before your face broke into a smile. “You caught me...”

“I would never let you fall...”

There two of you continued to skate around, having fun in the other's presence, completely unaware of the blond hidden behind a snowbank with his hand clasped tightly over his mouth and tears beginning to freeze to his reddened cheeks.

Tommy often found himself wishing he had let you fall...

=

Tommy & Tubbo Route - Rhythm of the Storm

Because your original housing was set between Snowchester and the Prime Path, it was surprisingly an equal distance between Tubbo’s mansion and Tommy’s house.

In the beginning, Tommy would go to your house first in the mornings, then leave around noon when Tubbo would come, but the constant social interaction left you always sleeping through either one of their visits.

It got to the point where you asked both of them to come by at the same time so you could talk with them both at the same time.

This caught them both off guard that you wanted both of their attention at the same time, but then only began to see benefits from them meeting with you together.

Now you weren’t out cold during the mornings when Tommy opened the door, and now you weren’t asleep by 2pm when Tubbo was over. Plus they could both take care of you at the same time!

There were a few times when either of the boys’ yandere tendencies peaked out, but you or the other would scold them out of it. Or Tommy would give Tubbo a small smack upside the head which would make him scream dramatically like a baby goat.

While they did take your injuries relatively seriously, they also were joking with you and cheered you up with their antics, preventing you from falling into a depression from staying inside all day and every day.

On a normal day, if you were awake and had more energy than normal, Tommy would be telling you incredible stories of his travels and Tubbo would be either making food or potions. Tommy isn’t allowed near the brewing stands or the stove anymore if you’re wondering.

On a bad day, if you barely had any energy and could barely stay awake, the two boys would be much quieter and let you sleep. On those days, they would ask Phil if you were actually okay, or they would go back to their respective homes.

If your burns are causing you immense amounts of pain one day, Tommy will refuse to even be in the same room as you and will genuinely beg Tubbo, Ranboo or Philza to stop your pain. Even if he doesn’t like others being around you, he’s beginning to accept Tubbo’s care towards you but he’s still wary about his father and Tubbo’s husband.

Speaking of, Ranboo and Michael had seemingly disappeared from Snowchester, but Phil assured you that they were both in the Tundra, (And to keep it a secret from Tubbo.)

On Phil’s latest visit, he told you that you could get up and out of bed without irritating the burns on your legs, although you might have trouble at first.

Upon hearing the news, Tubbo and Tommy were at your sides in seconds, asking if you wanted to get up and encouraging you to try. If you didn’t want to, they (mostly Tubbo) would understand about it and leave you to sit on the fact for a bit.

If you did, Tubbo would be at your injured side to make sure your bandages stayed together when you got up, while Tommy would be on your good side and mostly holding you up if your balance was bad enough.

Tubbo wanted to help you walk around at night, just in case you were self-conscious of your burns, but Tommy was too worried about any sort of mob approaching you. While they knew they could protect you, they just didn’t want to take any risks.

Tubbo will burst out crying after he hears an explosion, meanwhile, Tommy will freeze completely still. Which is also what happened during the mining incident that caused you to get injured, which is why Tubbo was the one to scream and continue to cry long after they had saved you.

Because of this, they don’t want to face a creeper with you around to see them panic and be in danger while they struggled to get themselves together.

When you’re out walking around, Tubbo is extremely patient and Tommy at least tries to hold his complaints. 

If someone even looks at you wrong, they’ll have an angry raccoon boy yelling threats at them and Tubbo drawing his sword. They usually run with their tails between their legs afterwards.

If you collapsed on the walk from the pain, the amount of panic that would happen would be enough to have every single parental figure in the SMP running to help you. Luckily when it did happen, Badboyhalo was there and was strong enough to carry you without irritating your burns, and even gave a few pointers on how to help with burns. He had to raise Sapnap. He would know.

When you woke up at your home, you saw Tubbo and Tommy actually having a civil conversation with the large 9ft demon rather than threatening him to get away from you. That could've been because he was a demon though. But you were still proud!

You guessed that they still thought you were asleep when Bad left because you heard them murmuring and trying to keep quiet as they most likely made lunch.

Because of their conversation with Bad, and proving to you that they can actually behave themselves, you began to realize that their Yandere tendencies were calming down a lot. Meaning you weren't scared of them that much anymore, and you were beginning to accept their feelings towards you.

Unfortunately... You couldn't pick between them... And didn't know how open they would be to polyamory, but seeing as they weren't ripping each other's throats out, maybe their reactions wouldn't be too terrible?

Tubbo began to tell you about everything that bothered him, currently and formerly, like his death from Technoblade’s fireworks, even to being threatened by Dream during the disc war, or the nukes disappearing and his worry about whether or not Tommy cares about him.

Tommy also began to open up as well. Telling you about his brothers and father, his exile, his fear that Tubbo doesn't care about him anymore, and his third canon death.

After the two began to open up more, you began to realize they weren't being as clingy and desperate for your attention, most likely now trusting you to spend time with people other than them.

Maybe because they were catching on to you slowly beginning to return their feelings...

Everything seems relatively like it was before that one day before Tommy and Tubbo completely lashed out at each other.

A few weeks after your body became completely healed, the two boys spent a few days away from you, which you were curious about but never really commented on it.

One day when they both arrived at your house at their usual time, they were dressed up for an adventure and their bags were filled with everything that anyone would need.

They eagerly pulled you out of bed at some ungodly hour in the morning, although Tubbo thankfully had breakfast (and coffee) ready which you ate before going to get dressed into appropriate clothing and your god armour that Tubbo made, that was equipped with a new god sword that Tommy made you!

This was your first adventure since the explosion in the mine, and you damn well wanted to have fun.

"Okay, okay! Damn, Big Man, calm down!" You groaned as you threw the bag over your shoulders and tightened the straps accordingly. Once you tied up the laces on your boots, you straightened up and without fail, you felt both of your hands being grabbed before you got dragged out the door.

"We've been planning this for a few days! Nothing will stop us now!" Tubbo cheered, hopping along beside you as he held your scarred hand, "We have everything we could ever need for the next week!"

Your surprised reaction was ignored as Tommy continued dragging you down the Prime Path with a map in his free hand, "A whole week? That's quite a long adventure! Are you sure we'll be able to handle it?"

"Relax (N/n)! We were both raised by Philza Minecraft! Y'know, Survivalist extraordinaire? We know how to ration, build a shelter if needed, and everything in between!" Tubbo gave you a wide and cheesy grin as he spoke about the man who raised him, despite not actually being related to him. (Dadschlatt AU if you're wondering)

The three of you ventured off through many acres of forests and other biomes, holding hands and chatting away the entire time. Tommy let it slip that you were going to find buried treasure and maybe a woodland mansion if you were feeling brave enough, which is why he was always holding the map.

"Tommy, (Y/n)! Look!" Tubbo squeaked out happily as he saw a field of dozens of different flowers with bees hurriedly buzzing about to pollinate the plants around. The sight of the yellow and black bugs caused Tubbo to make happy little bleating sounds as his ears wiggled.

You and Tommy exchanged glances with a small smile, knowing very well you wouldn't be able to pull the hybrid away from them. "I suppose it is about time for a break..." You murmured as you were dragged off by the smaller brunet, thus pulling Tommy along as well.

The three of you sat down in the flower field, placing out a blanket to prevent yourselves from getting covered in dirt, despite knowing that it'll happen anyway. You set out the food Tubbo had packed while the two teenage boys ran around, having fun and, well just being teenagers.

Yes, Tommy got chased by bees.

Tubbo made you, himself and Tommy a flower crown, which you proudly wore, but Tommy was a bit more hesitant which you eventually made him get over by giving him a begging look. Yours was a bunch of (f/f) varying with colours, Tubbo's was a variety of yellows and white flowers, while Tommy's was mostly red and white.

While you three enjoyed your small picnic, you were all completely unaware of the fleeting bees, closing flowers and scattering animals. It was only when Tubbo's ears began to flick oddly did he lift his head, "I think there's a storm quickly approaching..."

You lifted your head and rose your arm to block the sun from your eyes to look at the quickly darkening clouds, "Oh damn, yeah we gotta go find shelter. Like now." You hurriedly grabbed your bag and began shoving the foot containers in it while Tommy and Tubbo packed everything else up too.

Despite your best efforts, you three quickly got caught in the downpour of rain and became absolutely drenched in rain by the time you found a small and shallow cave to hide in. "Aw fuck... Absolutely perfect! Sam said it wasn't gonna rain todaaaaay!" Tommy whined dramatically as he slumped against the stone wall.

You sighed and began pulling out the blanket again, knowing very well that you'd all be here for a while. When Tommy stopped whining about how he thought it was gonna be perfect weather, he helped Tubbo with starting a fire so you could all dry your sweaters that you had been wearing.

The two boys plopped down on the blanket on either side of you, Tommy hiding his head on your shoulder while Tubbo was curled up with his head against your lap, (After asking for permission of course) trying their best to drown out the sound of the sounds of the booming thunder.

After a few moments, you used the consistent pattern in the rain to keep beat before beginning to hum a soft tune while you ran your fingers through their damp hair.

Slowly, Tommy and Tubbo fell asleep, leaning against you while you hummed along to the rhythm of the storm...

=

Neither Route - Left the Game

Your house was quite out of the way from the Prime Path and Snowchester, in fact, quite possibly even closer to the Tundra. (In this route.)

Meaning that you were pretty far out of the way from everyone except for Ranboo, Phil and Techno. Which prevented both Tubbo and Tommy from coming around often, meaning Ranboo and Phil had to help you with a lot.

You felt bad because you didn't know either of them too, too well, but at least you knew you would definitely be getting better.

Ranboo actually had no problem helping you with your injuries, although he had to carefully write down what he gave you and when.

During your road to recovery, Ranboo and Tubbo's relationship became incredibly worse as the goat hybrid became even more manipulative and violent.

You became a personal therapist and babysitter for him and Michael, in return for him helping take care of you.

Speaking of Michael, the reason Ranboo hadn't joined you on the mining trip was because Phil had finished making a potion that would allow Michael to survive in the Tundra.

Tubbo and Tommy's violent habits had quickly doubled over the time when they couldn't see you, but luckily for you, the one time they did try to visit, Techno had come with Phil to meet you.

They ran out immediately.

Yes, Techno asked you about how you felt about anarchy.

Whether or not you joined the Syndicate is up to you.

Ranboo then told Techno and Phil about how Tubbo and Tommy were obsessed with you, and that your life was possibly in danger.

Technoblade only said that he had no way to help you, but Philza's fatherly instincts kicked in and he wanted to protect you both from the two boys he raised.

Once you got all healed up your burns scarred over, Phil and Ranboo already had an idea of how to keep you both and Michael safe.

It was highly risky and would leave you with only one life until you come back to the DreamSMP.

Phil was going to give you access to his Hardcore server.

Both you and Ranboo had a long and serious talk about it, but then remembered he was literally rich. He had dozens of totems!

Techno made you three totem pendants for you to wear around your necks, so you wouldn't always have to hold the totems.

(Philza asked his wife, Kristen the Goddess of Void and Death, to keep an extra close eye on you three and make sure if any of you do die, it's incredibly quick and painless.)

Standing in front of Phil, your bags filled with everything you would need to survive in the hardcore world, you watched as the centuries-old avian scanned you three up and down.

"I'll ask you both one final time." He sighed after he deemed all of your equipment and armour worthy. The blond fatherly figure stood in front of you and Ranboo as you held Michael with a glowing green orb in his hand, "Are you sure? There are no respawns when you run out of totems."

"Yes. It'll be much safer than the DreamSMP..." Ranboo murmured quietly, quickly scrawling as much as he could fit into his memory book before he forgot anything, "Even if it isn't permanent... We just need to run."

When Phil turned to you, you couldn't help but take a deep breath, "Yeah," You murmured, shifting the young piglin child on your hip, "I'm sure. Thanks again Philza... We really needed to be somewhere where they wouldn't find us..."

"I'll check up on you both once a week. Remember, travelling through servers will disorient you for quite a while and you quite probably won't understand where you are at first-"

"(Y/n)!!!" An angry yell came from the forest, and you turned your head just in time to see Tommy and Tubbo running in your direction.

You and Ranboo hurriedly whipped your head to face Phil again, but he seemed to have caught on before you both as there was a portal swirling with greens and golds beside him, "Go! Now! I'll see you both tomorrow! Remember, you can take anything you need to increase the chances of your survival!"

Ranboo got over his shock much quicker than you did because he grabbed your arm and leapt through the portal, bringing you and Michael along.

Ranboo Beloved left the game.

(Y/n) (L/n) left the game.

Michael Underscore-Beloved left the game.

[azenkii]

A Long List of Trash Fire Lord Zuko Headcanons

...that i couldn't get out of my head:

(warning: SUPER LONG POST i havent figured out how to trim posts yet)

he's the one who unchains azula despite iroh's protests. she doesn't even try to fight him, just cries into his shoulder and keeps mumbling about how father's going to be so disappointed in her. he takes her to her rooms and has her drink a sleeping draught, then stations the best guards he has left outside her chambers.

his first council meeting takes place literally a day after sozin's comet. he hobbles into the council chamber shirtless with his entire torso covered in bandages and every council member just looks at him like '...what'

he does NOT sleep for like,,a week after sozin's comet and then another two weeks after his coronation. katara, aang and suki try to persuade him to sleep and he doesn't listen. eventually sokka, toph and mai team up to literally drag his ass to bed and tell him he's not allowed to get up until he sleeps (does mai pin him to the bed with her knives? yes. is it kinky or sexual in any way? definitely not.)

he drinks So. Much. Tea. at this point it's practically tasteless to him but he drinks it anyway because he just needs something to do and tea is something familiar. he keeps iroh on his toes because he's constantly asking for new tea blends, uncle, i think i actually tasted the last one,

he flat-out refuses to grow his hair for at least a year after ozai's defeat. the second it starts getting close to his chin he shears it off himself, with his knife, and his stylist has a heart attack every single time

when he's tired he'll occasionally jump up when one of his guards moves. it stops after a bit, but for the first month and a half or so he's really twitchy. when sokka asks, the only explanation he can come up with is that he's not used to having people stand behind him silently and not want to kill him, much less want to protect him (sokka immediately takes him out for a shopping trip and makes a point of walking behind him the entire time, but only on zuko's right side, where he can clearly see it if sokka moves towards him)

when the healer declares azula mentally unstable and in need of an institution, he shuts himself in his office for the rest of the night. no one's allowed in, not even iroh. he finally emerges in the morning, eyes red from crying and sleep deprivation, and tells the librarian that he'd like a list of the best mental institutions in the country, please, the best in the world if you can get them

he loves theatre (is this even a headcanon?). unfortunately it practically died out in the fire nation along with the rest of the creative arts, leaving nothing but small troupes like the ember island players. one of zuko's personal goals (meaning things he wants to accomplish that aren't as important as restoring his country) is to bring back theatre; he finally manages to do it after about eight months or so of being fire lord, along with other arts like dancing, music and sculpture

he establishes a national day of mourning, on the first day of autumn every year, to commemorate the genocide of the air nomads. from 100AG onwards, every calendar printed in the fire nation has it marked. at first it was called the day of repentance, but aang persuaded him to have it changed (by arguing that he didn't want guilt to be a literal staple of fire nation culture)

he introduces literally So Many educational reforms, plus a mandatory class that teaches students about the cultures of the other nations (air nomads included) and how some of their traditions overlap

he turns down the offer of having a statue put up of him in the capital. toph ignores him and does it anyway.

he visits azula regularly, makes sure she's (relatively) comfortable and well-fed, and sometimes just sits down outside her door and tells her about everything that's going on right now ('some of the far colonies have developed their own standardised writing, azula, you wouldn't believe it, and i've asked the fire sages to come visit more often—but you never liked them, did you? oh, well; i'll make sure none of them go into your chambers by mistake')

(he doesn't know it, but when he does this azula sits by the door and listens. she wonders what kind of writing the colonists have developed, and whether or not the fire sages have taken on some new recruits.)

he hates being above anyone else. never sits in the throne if he can help it, nor does he sit on the dais in the council room. when he talks to people shorter than him, he finds himself stooping a little bit to talk to them on their level (the exception to this rule is sokka, who he mocks for being shorter all the way up until sokka grows taller than him, the bastard)

the first time he visits the earth kingdom, the earth king's ministers call a toast. he ends up being the only one who has to sit out, because he's too young to drink by earth kingdom law

once his servants figure out he won't kill them for talking to him, they start becoming a lot more bold, telling him off when he doesn't take care of himself. at one point, they force him to let them take care of him so much that he literally just bolts into the gardens and hides there until the staff rope in mai and ty lee

when he needs to escape, he does one of two things: (a) he dresses up as the blue spirit and does some parkour until he calms down, or (b) he goes to work at the jasmine dragon. (b) happens less often bc the jasmine dragon's in ba sing se, but there's been a few memorable incidents when an earth kingdom diplomat walks in and yells, 'LEE?!' when they see the fire lord

the first court artist who draws him also happens to be the one who drew azulon and ozai. he draws zuko without his scar. zuko takes one look at it and tells him, very calmly, that he'd like him to leave, please.

zuko burns the portrait. he doesn't fire the court artist, but he never calls on him again unless he has to. a second court artist is called, and can't help but be a bit confused when the fire lord tells him to be sure to include the scar

he forgets the crown. a lot. sometimes he walks into council meetings in his sleepwear with his hair tied up in a messy ponytail and a bunch of scrolls tucked under his arm. none of his councilmen have the guts (or the heart) to tell him that this is not, in fact, formal council wear

he goes to feed the turtleducks when he's stressed. he thinks he's being subtle. he's not. the entire palace knows, and they consciously give him space when they see him in the turtleduck garden

most of his staff are older than him, so they look at him and see this teeny tiny fire lord who is So Small and who Must Be Protected. the day after zuko's coronation, the head chef holds a meeting where they commence Operation Do-Not-Let-That-Boy-Turn-Out-Like-His-Father (subsection He's-The-Only-Good-Thing-We-Have)

one night he wakes up to find suki sitting in his room, decked out in full kyoshi warrior garb and makeup, and just about screams blue murder. suki tells him there are suspicions of an assassin in the palace, and would you please stop yelling it's very distracting, we won't be able to hear anyone coming over that racket

zuko gets very, very paranoid of random spirits after that. yeah, suki looks like a possibly malevolent spirit when she's wearing her makeup, what about it? (when he tells sokka he's highkey terrified of spirit shenanigans, sokka just looks at him and says, 'man, the stories i could tell...', and THAT'S when zuko remembers sokka spent like six months more than he did travelling with the avatar)

on his first visit to the southern water tribe, he removes his boots and leg guards, rolls up his pants and kneels barefoot in the snow. even though chief hakoda immediately starts trying to pull him up, he's stubborn as hell and stays kneeling for the entirety of his very long, very sincere apology-on-behalf-of-the-fire-nation speech. he nearly loses his toes to frostbite after that, and both sokka and katara never stop giving him shit for it

the first time he grows a 'beard' is completely accidental. he's stressed over some trade miscommunications with chief hakoda, hasn't slept in a few days...and then when sokka arrives as water tribe ambassador to help smooth things over, he takes one look at zuko and says 'man, facial hair does not suit you'

zuko: facial what now

he checks a mirror to find that he's got stubble covering his chin, dark enough that it almost looks intentional, and holy gods how the fuck did he not notice this before

'UNCLE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME' 'i assumed you were doing it on purpose' 'WHEN HAVE I EVER DONE ANYTHING ON PURPOSE'

he shaves it all off immediately, of course, which prompts a lot of teasing and rib-poking from sokka until zuko finally snaps that he's scared it'll make him look like his father. sokka stops after that.

(the day after sokka leaves, zuko finds that a mysterious someone has scribbled all over ozai's royal portrait, giving him a frankly ridiculous beard and moustache that literally CANNOT be grown in real life. oddly enough, he can't bring himself to care about the defamation of royal property. he's too busy laughing.)

his paths cross with toph and sokka more than any of the others, because sokka is ambassador and toph is technically still a beifong. most of the time, at formal functions, he ends up sequestered in the corner with toph and a hoard of snacks, and they talk and swear much more than they usually do (zuko's ministers once heard him when he was drunk with toph, and the servants swear the older ministers' ears started bleeding)

he restores fire nation cultural festivals, and in doing so subjects himself to learning a lot of complicated dances

during one memorable week, he wrote so many letters and drafted so much legislation that he ran out of paper. he had to go visit the nearest school and ask for some

he keeps up with his firebending and sword training even though it's hard to fit into his schedule. his ministers refrain from reminding him that he has guards to protect him now; it's still hard for zuko to trust his safety with anyone but himself (team avatar is the exception).

he started sleepwalking about two months into his reign. no one knew why. one time, he nearly sleepwalked right off the edge of a balcony, and one of his guards had to grab him by the back of his robes.

the sleepwalking stopped after around a month and never happened again. at this point it's practically palace legend.

after freeing the war prisoners, he went around collecting every single earthbender-proof wooden cell he could find in the capital and surrounding areas. when he'd gotten most of them, he gathered them into a huge pile in the city square and set fire to them with his own hands.

unfortunately he couldn't do that with the waterbender metal cells but he did get toph to come in and bend them all into pretty shapes (well, toph thought they were pretty shapes. everyone else thinks they're meaningless squiggles)

he learned how to write with both hands at the same time out of sheer necessity (he refused scribes until it became clear that he'd be putting some people out of a job; that was when he started letting scribes write very, very minor things, but all important documents/drafts/letters are still written by him)

he once put the wet end of an ink brush in his mouth instead of the wooden end by mistake. didn't even realise until he bit down to keep it in place and ink went oozing everywhere

when his guards rushed in to find him coughing and spluttering black liquid all over his desk they thought he'd been poisoned but no he's just stupid

on his 17th birthday, his first one after being crowned, he got tackled by team avatar in the middle of the ballroom and ended up at the bottom of a cuddlepile for like ten minutes

this cuddlepile happened at an event that was very much public and very much formal. it was a scandal for weeks

just. fire lord zuko, guys. so much potential

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

💥 and 🌕 for any or all WIPs you have!

'Any or all' you say! I'll answer this for multiple, just because I can. Project names in bold are the tags I use for these ones if you want to look them up (and also feel free to ask me about them!), some more talked of than others.

💥 - What is the main conflict of the wip?

taira - The danger of the dragon rising is becoming more and more prominent, especially once Taira the white rabbit exists. Taira and her friends are trying to stop it from happening. [drafted and unedited]

knitting oc - Patience is angry that she has a new adopted sister, and the main focal point of the story is really them getting to know each other and getting along. Two fun facts: one, Patience is one of my older OCs who I've recently realised is unintentionally autistic, and two, that whole story is heavily inspired by Dear Enemy, only platonic and whatnot. [partially planned]

vaniah - Arranged marriage happens (well, to simplify), and they - already good friends - have to work out how to get along in a marriage. Also Emily discovers how terrible Vaniah's self-esteem is, and also many terrible things he's done she never knew about. They kinda pull each other out of their problems in a way. The conflict is much more internal than anything else. [drafting rn]

adira - Adira trying to work out the truth of the world and how it was created and who God is, really. More complicated than that but it can truly be summed up into What is truth? [much draft but mess]

story:wcb - a short story (well, currently 23k and expected to get more like 25k I think by the time I'm finished the final round of editing). The main conflict is that Miriam and Edward are trying to work out what happens after you die. Because (spoilers) Miriam hasn't got long to live. So there are lots of emotions and things. I never meant to get attached to Miriam as a character tbh - she's a background character already deceased by the time Edward appears in Adira's story. But when I was brainstorming short stories surrounding Adira's, this was one of the stories that came to mind pretty quickly. [on second-last round of edits]

story:hiraeth - another short story (13k, from memory), this one dealing with a crisis of faith of a completely different character, after her father loses his faith. It's an extremely personal story to me, as it deals with what I went through (not entirely the same, of course) after two of my siblings (a couple of years apart) lost their faith. [on second-last round of edits]

judastale - a novel still in the planning stages, which I'd intended to write next but I wouldn't be surprised if it ends up being my nanowrimo project, since vaniah jumped the gun and I started writing it earlier than I intended to xD It's a Bible-based novel about Judas, from a somewhat sympathetic viewpoint, but - of course - ultimately a tragedy. I intend to remain faithful to the Biblical account, but to add in things to make it human and - yes, if I do it right I expect to end up crying over Judas Iscariot. So far I've written a short prologue and nothing more until I get my notes in order; I really might just wait until November and write it then. [planning]

inklings - I originally began to write this as a short story for the Inklings Challenge, for which I was part of Team Lewis during October last year, using an old OC from when I was in year 10 (who is one of the other 'huh she's autistic' characters lol). The story revolves around Hadassah finding a place for herself in the world, really, but she also goes through a portal to a new world during the story. I've written 8k so far, and she's just gone through the portal and beyond that I've basically stopped because I need to do more planning of what happens beyond the portal. I wrote two shorter stories, one of which is available both here and on my website under two different titles I think lol and the other I'm not yet happy with; both were to submit to fairly local competitions, and surprisingly both were commended in their competitions. I'll probably post the other at least to my website at some point. This story is very dear to my heart; though it started out entirely different, it was directly written when I was in year 10 as a coping mechanism because I didn't have many friends and I couldn't understand why I didn't and why I was always the forgettable one. I still don't understand it entirely, but I've got more used to it, and found more friends who don't forget about me. (And friends who get annoyed by me as well as being friends, but that's just life I suppose.) [partly written and planning]

"Do I have any other wips really right now? Ah yes that other one - nope that's nonfiction and wouldn't suit this question. And that other one - wait no that's literally tagged secret project for a reason. What about that one - silly silly I haven't even opened the Scrivener file for months even though I have edits waiting for it, I can't call it a wip at present."

~

I couldn't see an emoji matching the second one you sent... feel free to either give me a different emoji or clarify which one you wanted, sorry!

Ask me to elaborate on anything of what I've mentioned above if you like!