#but it's 11am here and i couldnt wait

[screaminglygay]

KINKTOBER day 2

pairing: stalker!amber x fem!reader

summary: you have only one friend, chad, but maybe you have another one, that you don’t even know about.

warnings: dark!amber, light choking, dark themes, swearing, dirty talk, use of a puppy nickname like twice, smut!!!, possibly bad grammar, if anything else, let me know!

word count: 5.3k

an: second day, yay! this one was bit harder to write, so I hope you like it! You know the drill, if there is any typo here, let me know and I’ll fix it!

an2: thank you for all the support! It means a lot!:)

(italics = your thoughts)

ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+!

!MDNI!

Enjoy this spooky time and be safe!

Buzz buzz.

Your phone buzzed again, you picked it up and notice that it´s your friend, Chad. You and him had few classes together and basically get along just because he was annoying you for such a long time, that you basically couldnt resist any longer. He was the charmer, extroverted football player who act like a big puppy of bernard. And you were the quiet, reserved type of a girl, who needed to charge before any social event.

Chadinator

7:11AM

Imma pick you up in 10!

You always chuckled at his nickname, since he came up with it himself. Chad was so proud of that, that it´s basically the law to leave it like that and don´t change it. I mean how could you, he would whine and maybe even shed a tear if you changed it to something so simple as his name.

It´s was pretty common for you two to walk to school together this early. Chad either had his practise or some football meeting and you liked to go to the library before the first period. Today wasn´t exepction, so after you quickly just brushed your teeth and took your bag, that you suprisingly prepared the night before, you were already waiting for him in front of your dorm. Both of you preffered to walk to school, especially when it was such a pretty weather as it´s today.

"Boo!" Chad jumps from one of the trees that were dacorating the street.

"Asshole!" You yell as your heath skipped a beat. Slapping his arm was truly an instinkt by now, being with Chad was the same as having an older brother. Flinching everytime he came close.

Chad laughs, he look refreshed even at this time. "Works every time! You gotta keep sharp, (Y/N)! You never know where the danger will came from." Chad started to pucnh the air. "Left hook, right hook and pow pow pow! And he´s down!" Chad stated as you two began to walk.

"Who´s he?" You asked looking at Chad.

"I don´t know, (Y/N). That´s for you to decide." he just shrugs and kept walking.

As soon as you came to school, you´ve said your goodbyes and both of you went separate ways. Not like you didn´t talk in school, you did. But you prefered to be alone and enjoy your time in silence. Chad was the other way around, he had a friend group, that he always told you to join, because he would appraciate someone who would shut Mindy, his twin sister, up and since youre into movies too, you would do a great job at it, at least that´s what he always says. But you´re too shy to come over and say hi to people. It gives you instant flashback to the days in middle school where youre trauma was created. That moment you had to say your name and three funfacts about yourself.

Having Chad as the only person you talk to is quite great. No drama, at least not with you two. You often gossip about people in school, but in non judgmental way, of course. He was always kind and you two basically complete eachother. A lot of people might think Chad is just another jock who cant count to three, but it’s the other way around, actaully. Without Chad you would most definetly fail math or chem. You hate these subjects will all of your hearth.

Speaking of math, you were just on your way to the library to borrow another book with mathematical quadrations. So you won´t fail your math exam next week, you wanted to do this on your own, at least try it and then the night before call Chad with panic in your voice that he needs to tutor you asap, or the world will end. As this was normal scenario before every math exam. As always, you put your headphones in and played your "study session" playlist, with soft instrumental music. You turned a corner and as you were in your head you bumped into someone, their books fell down. And you immidielty pull your headphones off, as you took them off you heard a little "shit".

You look up and notice its Amber Freeman. A girl you know from Chad´s storytimes. You quickly look her up and down, which she in fact did notice, but you didnt realized that. She was portrayed by Chad stories as someone who dont give a flying damn about anyone and anything. Her outfit was pretty suiting on her. Black on black, with some cute silver nacklace.

"Oh shoot! Sorry! I didnt notice yo.! Let me just..." you crouched down and picked up all her fallen books. She probably just visited the library herself. You notice one of the books were a mathematical quadrations. You chuckled in your mind, being little happy that you´re not the only person who was having problems with that.

"No worries." Amber smiles.

You made eye contact with her again, she doesn´t seem that unfriendly as Chad said, she look actually pretty welcoming.

"Here." You smiled at her as you give her the books.

"Thank you..." She prolong the word as a gesture of not knowing your name.

"(Y/N)!" You state awkwardly as you though she know your name from Chad stories as well. Maybe you were just wrong.

"(Y/N)? Huh, are you new?" Her question throw you off guard, completly.

"N-no, uh Im actually Chad´s friend." Trying to explain who you are was even more humaliating to you.

"Oh really? My bad. Well pleasure to meet you, I guess I see you later." She winks at you and with her many books, she left.

You stand there for a couple of second, not knowing what just happened.

Did she just wink at me? Did Chad never mention me before? Should i socialize more if people think im new? Math exam!

After you enter the library, you were trying to find another edition of the math book and of course you can´t find it. So you asked the book lady and she said that the last edition was just borrowed by one of the students today.

Amber.

You can´t go bother Chad again, not when he has practise, so either you´re gonna fail, or you´re just try to socialize. It would be easier to move to Mexico, change your name and just dissapear from the world. You sigh, looking at your phone, you still have some minutes till the first period. So your next task is to find Amber Freeman.

After walking for another ten minutes, you decided to go to second floor. You walk there and thanks to your luck, Amber is there, putting her stuff into her locker. You start to walk little faster and you awkwardly stand next to her. The dark haired girl closed the locker and look at you.

"Well I guess that later is sooner then I expect it." She chuckled.

"Yeah, I need that." Poiting to the book she was currently holding in her hand wasn’t actually the maturest idea. "I mean..." You clearn your throat. "Im really shitty at math and this is the only way i can have at least D."

"Why don´t you ask Chad?" Amber tilts her hand, looking at your face.

"Um he has a football." You shrug. "I don´t-" Before you can finish your sentence, Amber speaks up.

"Wanna bother him." She rolls her eyes. Now you were starting to understand what Chad was saying about Amber. "I bet you’re one of those little cute shy girls, huh?" Amber smirks.

"I... just think I can do this on my own." You say, but it sounded more like a question.

"Can you?" Her brown eyes are watching every single one of your facial expression.

"I don´t-"As you want to answer she cuts you off again.

"I´ll tutor you, tomorrow after school?" Amber doesn´t care she started talking over you again, she doesnt look so welcoming at all anymore. More like this whole converstaion is beyond her and she has to deal with the most annying thing.

"I- uh.. yeah! Sure. Thank you." You nod, being shocked at how fast her behaviour changed.

"Good. Anything else you want?" Amber looks away, now not even looking at you. You feel more and more humiliated around her.

"N-no, no." You shake your head and with that you just leave to your first period.

After you left, Amber smiled to herself. After long nights of thinking about the best plan ever, she´s finally doing it and everything works just how she wanted too. With just the right push you gonna fall in love with her, just how she wants you to. How you want to, but you don´t know it yet.

Of course Amber knew who you were, of course Amber knew that every morning you go to the library before your first class. And of course she knew how much you suck at math. She knows way more than just this, even way more than a normal person should know. But who said she was a normal person?

She had you as her little project over the summer, when you and Chad became close friends. Analyzing your posts on social media, zooming in to see every detail, saving every photo or video of yours, just in case your little overthinking head will decide to delete it someday. Which happened a lot, but she was always a little faster than you. Amber was the first person who liked your photo, viewed your story, see what youve been up to. She gave you subtle signs that you two are meant to be. Of course she had to make sure, not to be so obvious - so she made a couple of fake accounts, for her to actaully work on her little project better. For exaplme account "mathe_F" was made when Chad said you had first problems with math and that he can´t hang out with the group, because he has to tutor you. "emily_didi" was made right after you shared on your story that you´ve just finished a show called "Dickinson" and all of the other account were in the same vibe. Meaningful subtle messages for you and only you.

After a few classes that were nothing else but boring you were at your locker, when one of the professors addresed you. She asked you if you could give this to Amber Freeman since she saw you guys talking, it was just some small books that she was interested in. She handed you two small books and walked away.

"This is just perfect..." You mumbled to yourself as you had mixed feelings about that mysterious girl. You weren´t sure if she was nice or if she was mean. You want to figure it out, but definetly not today, since you´ve been up her ass twice today. Twice.

But it would be better to already have it done, so you walk up to the second floor and hope that Amber will be at her locker again, but she´s not. As you turn away ready to walk away and catch her later, you saw some long dark hair dissepearing into the womans batrhoom. So obviously you made your way there, you opened the door and wait for her next to the sinks.

After few minutes the door opened and you were right, it was Amber. She looked up and it was suprise even for her. She tilt her head and walk to the sinks on the right side. She made eye contact with you through the mirror and because you haven´t said a word, she just smiles

"Are you stalking me or just following me like a lost puppy?" She took few towels and wipe her hands. Then take a few steps closer, sudenly you feel how your back hit the cold wall. "I´ve asked you a question, didnt I?"

"I... I´m not stalking you, I just- Mrs. Darott asked me to bring you this. Your books from her class." You explain, but you were pretty nervous by her comment, that it sounded like a poor excuse you just made on the spot.

Amber smiles and nods, taking the books from your hands. "So if youre not a stalker, then that leads us to our second option and that´s a lost puppy. Cute." she steps closer again. "If i didn´t recognize these books I would truly think that you´ll find any excuse to be at least 2 minutes with me."

You don´t know what to say to that, you simple just stare, completly like a confused puppy. She steps closer, now fully blocking a way out, literally by her body. She press agaisnt you and who would have thought she would be that strong. Her hands are next to your head, her eyes never left yours. You can feel her breathing on you, you can feel her levander parfume, it is like youre intoxicated by her.

"You wanna go?" Amber barerly whisper to you. The truth to be told, you don´t want to go, you just want to stay, because... you don´t even know why, but you want to stay with her. But because you don´t want to look desparate you nod your head.

"Then beg." And there she is again. The harsh Amber you don´t like that much, but your body does.

"W- what?" Confussion is heard from your voice, it can be also read from your face.

"You heard me, if you want to go, you can just beg. It´s not that hard, (Y/N)." Her lips are so close to your ear, meaning her whisper are running right down your body.

You mumble something, that you don´t even understand.

"Speak up, (Y/N). I can´t hear you." she said in mocking way.

"Please, may I go?" Your eyes avoid hers, looking everywhere else than her is the smartest way to survive, whatever this is. But she has something else in her mind. Her left hand comes closer to your face and her fingers softly touch your chin. The sudden feeling on your face is making you look at her. Once again her plan working exactly how she planned. Your gaze met and you can see on her face that she is not happy at how badly you just beg. So intiitively you correct yourself.

"Please Amber, I came her to give you the books. May i go know? Please." Her looks is not satisfied. "Pretty please?" You add with the most puppy dog look, that just breaks even someone as Amber Freeman herself.

She pull away and for some confusing reason, you already miss her being so close to you.

How the hell does she do that?

"Yes, you may." She smiles and like nothing happen she fully pull away.

"T-thanks" Stuttering words were left out of your mouth as you left the restrooms.

The whole day was this feeling in your stomach every single time you thought about Amber. You try to shake it off, you don´t know what happened in the restrooms, you didn´t know if it was a good or bad feeling. Youre first thought was to tell Chad, so he can help you understand this, but it was Amber. His friend. You were alone to figure it out, like you were with the math test.

Who even is Amber Freeman?

On your way from school you took the bus, Chad had his after school practice and you didn´t feel like walking anymore. And you were also pretty interest in finding out who Amber truly is. You looked at her instagram and the number of followers she had shocked you.

Is she that popular?

You scrolled down her feed and you´ve seen some pretty selfies. Some group photos, some nice instastrories about travelling. Oh and some pretty good music and books taste, almost the same as yours. What a coincidence, right?

As you scrolled lower her account, you noticed that she used to be a horse lover. A lots of pictures when she was like 10 on a horse. Looks like she didn´t care if anyone sees this, what a confident and non insecrue person. She owns every signle photo. As you scrolled down you missclicked and you like one of her old photos on a horse, by accident.

Oh no. No, no, no, no, no! Fuck!

You unlike it in a second, but youre not entirely sure if it´s in time.

Fuck! She will think im really a stalker now! Fuck me!

You yell in your head as you panic on the bus. It was few stops till your dorm and you didn´t care at all if Chad has a practice or not. This is an emergency!

You

4:19PM

CHAD!

CHADDDD!

SOS!

911!

Chadilator

4:22PM

Are you okay?

What´s wrong?

(Y/N)???

You

4:22PM

IF YOU LIKE SOMEONES OLD PHOTO ON INSTAGRAM AND UNLIKE IT WILL THEY SEE IT OR NOT??

Chadilator

4:23PM

OMG WHO DID YOU LIKE PHOTO OF?!?!?!?!?!

You

4:23PM

ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Chadilator

4:23PM

PROBABBLY THEY´LL SEE IT

WHO IS IT?

You

4:24PM

NO ONE IMPORTANT THATS WHY IM FREAKING OUT.

And that was a lie. Probably the first lie that you told Chad. After few texts with Chad, he went back to doing whatever football guys do, but he promised he will bombard you with quiestions later. Great.

Amber was just going from school as a notification pooped up, (y/n/n)_ liked your photo.

She doesnt recall posting something very recently, she opens the app and chuckle as she realized what just happened. You had to dive deep, really deep. Amber smiled to herself knowing her plan is working even better, than she imagined.

...

You wake up with a jolt, your heart pounding in your chest. The sunlight break a way through your curtains, casting a warm glow on your room, but it offers no peace to your restless mind. Last night, sleep avoided you due to a dark haired girl.

The anxiety builds up within you as you remember the countless equations and formulas you struggled with. Your tutor, Amber, is a person you can´t really imagine tutor someone and don´t yell at them. But at the same time, she can be nice, sometimes. But will she be nice when you liked her old picture?

Maybe she didn´t see it. But what if she did?

As you groggily roll out of bed, your stomach is buzzing with nerves. You wonder if she´ll notice your sleep-deprived eyes, your shaky hands, your breathing. With each step towards the kitchen, you try to shake off the uneasy feeling. Maybe today will be different. Maybe you'll have a normal study session and it will be like nothing ever happened. You force yourself to eat a small breakfast, though the knot in your stomach makes it difficult to swallow.

The clock ticks relentlessly, drawing closer to the time you have to get out of your dorm and to face Chad.

Oh my god, Chad.

You´re not ready for his teasing, at least not today.

As you leave, you take a deep breath, trying to quell the nervousness that courses through your veins.

Oh what am I thinking? Today will be hell, but it’s okay, one after school session with Amber can´t hurt me, right?

As you open the door Chad is already waiting there with big smirk on his face.

"Soooo?" He skips to you. "Spill the tea!" Chad giggled like a small boy.

"Spill the tea?" You tilt your head and look at him as you two began to walk to school.

"Mindy says it a lot" Chad answers as he shrugs. "But don´t change the subject, go on and talk, (Y/N)." You have to make something up, quickly.

Shit, shit, shit. It was your friend. And we had this situation in bathroom... what it even was? I don´t know, but it was something!

You thought to yourself as you internaly panic.

"(Y/N)?" Chad nudge your arm.

"It was uh... do you remember the story about the girl at a bar? Well..." You and Chad made eye contact and his mouth falls open.

"The one you made out with?" Chad asks.

You simly just nod. And that was a second lie in less than 24 hours you told your bestfriend.

"No way!" Chad laughs.

"Yes, way." You sigh.

All the way to school Chad had many teasing remarks at you and how funny this whole situation was.

Yes, Chad. It´s absolutely hilarious.

...

You rush through the crowded hallways, your books in hand. First, it's history lecture. Then, off to sociology and lastly for the day englist literature. As the clock ticks, you barely notice the passing of time.

Suddenly, all your lectures are done for today, which means your tutoring with Amber is here. Your stomach grumbles as the nerves are back kicking in. As you get out from school, you notice Chad, Amber and the rest of the group sitting near the parking lot. You walk up to them, looking only at Chad, not wanting to make eye contact with Amber, at all. Not now yet.

"There she is! The lucky girl!" Chad announces.

"Hm?" You tilt you head not knowing what he meant.

"I was just telling them how you liked the old picture..." He laughs.

"Oh..." This was the moment you shared a look with Amber, she was already looking at you, but you didn´t see any hint of her knowing anything else, besides what Chad just said.

Maybe she really didnt saw it.

"Don´t worry, (Y/N). It happenes to the best of us." Mindy smiles.

"Yeah, (Y/N). She probably didn´t even see the notification." This time it was Amber speaking. But there was this smile again. This cruel smile of hers, which she had in the bathroom as well.

Shit. She knows.

"R-right." You nod.

After a few minutes of just hanging up, all of you went to different ways. Mindy went back into her dorm to her girlfriend. Chad went to his football practice as always, Tara went with him as a "cheer up". So it was just you and Amber. And you already know that it´s gonna be a memorable tutoring.

"So... puppy, are you ready for tutoring?" Amber asks.

"Can you not call me like that, please?" You take your backpack as a sign of ready to leave.

"I thought you like it, guess I must heard something, if im already seeing things." She shrugs and smiles at you.

"I uh- about that-" You look at her.

"About what?" She takes her own purse and the both of you start to walk towards her dorm, you don´t question it, you just follow her. Like a lost puppy.

"About- you know..." You nod towards her phone.

"Oh! Give me your phone." Again, you don´t question her and just passing your phone to Amber sounds like a good idea. You look at her nervously and after a few second, she pass you the phone back. You look at it and notice that she added her number into your phone.

"I- didn´t... thanks." Smiling was the only good idea you had right now.

"So it´ll be less weird if you like my old photo again." Amber winks.

"Shit! I- sorry. It was on accident. I just- was-" You immidietly blush and stutter your words like a kid who just been caught.

"Don´t. It´s cute. And don´t worry, we´re cool." It was again, the nice Amber, the same one as the first time you met her. "We should study, for your own good, (Y/N)." You liked this Amber a lot.

...

You sit across from Amber in her cozy dorm room, textbooks and notebooks spread out before you. The math problems on the page are challenging, but Amber's suprising patient is really making you at least try. She's been an excellent tutor, who would have thought?

As you both work through the problems, Amber's focus is strictly on you. Her dedication to helping you succeed is evident in her every word and gesture. However, as time passes, you notice a shift in her demeanor. She starts to glance at her phone more frequently, checking messages and notifications, her attention gradually drifting away from the math problems on the table, from you.

You clear your throat, trying to refocus her attention on the task at hand, but Amber's responses become distracted. She apologizes, but you can still feel her attention away from you. It seems that, for now, the math problems will remain unsolved, overshadowed by her phone.

You try to make the conversation back to math, asking questions and showing her the problems you're struggling with, but her attention keeps slipping away. You find yourself making more of an effort to capture her interest, right now you´re trying anything, hoping that she'll put her phone down and pay attention to you, like she did at the beginning of the session.

"Just so you know, I didn´t like like the picture, it was on accident. Horse girls are... scary." You mumble, being annyoed as she doesn´t even look at you.

"What did you say?" She looks up from her phone.

"You heard me, Amber." You shrug.

"Oh so that´s how you gonna be now? I don´t pay attention so you gonna attack me for my posts?" Amber chuckles. "Aren´t you the one who is obssesed with Marvel ladies? Or should I say... fanfiction?"

How the hell does she know?

"I don´t know what you´re talking about." You sit up more straight as to help you come of as confident person. Which doesn´t help at all.

"Natasha Romanoff x reader, smut, bdsm-" Amber is cut off by your hand.

"Shut up." After a second you´ve just realized what did you do. "Sorry." You pull your hand away as your face is now red as a tomato.

"So I was right." Amber has this cheeky smile on her face. The one you´d like to kiss away from her face.

Kiss? Am I attracted to her? No, I´m not. Maybe. I mean she´s hot. God i like her. Maybe? Do I?

"No you´re not. I don´t like these stuff, who even is Natasha Romanoff?" You chuckle.

"God, you´re such a shitty liar. Besides you had an essay on the MCU like a few months ago plus I saw Wattpad AND Tumbrl on your phone." She nods towards your phone.

"So you knew who I was, when we met!" You basically yelled at her. "Who´s lying now, huh? Miss mysterious!" This time it was Amber who lost her words. "Hm? Cat got your tongue?" Your smirking made something in Amber switch.

"Fuck this-" Her hand grab your shirt and pulled you towards her, her lips crashing at yours. The kiss is electrifying, sending shivers down your spine. It's both sweet and intense, like a long-awaited release.

Amber's hand finds its way to the grab your neck, fingers harshly threading through your hair, while yours rest against her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. The world outside melts away, leaving just the two of you, lost in the heat of the moment. Math was long forgotten.

Emotions swirl within you - confusion, longing, and a spark of undeniable passion. It's a kiss that feels like both a beginning and an end, a moment of surrender to something you can't quite define but desperately want to explore. As you finally break apart, breathless and wide-eyed, knowing that this kiss has changed everything between you and Amber. At least for you, for her? Nothing have changed and everything is going by her plan, maybe it´s little fast forward, but how can she wait, where you’re basically on her bed.

Amber looks at you with a hint of exitment in her eyes and admits. "I've been wanting to do this for a long time, you know? I've imagined this scenario so many times."

You feel a mixture of surprise and curiosity as you respond. "Really? I had no idea."

A faint blush colors her cheeks as she continues, "You never do, pretty girl."

You don´t notice the nickname, but only the feeling that it make you feel as she said those words. So you quickly move close to her again, blushing like a crazy as you already miss her lips on yours.

What could these lips do? Oh my god-

"What?" Amber tilts her head, "If you want anything, ask for it. Didn´t they learn this in school?" There she is, the mocking Amber you thought you hate, but your body says otherwise. You have to clench your thigs, to get at least a little friction. Because Amber, she´s looking at you with her dark eyes and you´re are positive if she says few sententes it could make you come right at the spot.

"Nothing." You mumble as you look away.

"Oh, okay. Then I guess, we can go back to studying-" You cut Amber off, pretty harshly, that was suprising to both of you.

"No! I don´t want to study..." You´re still looking down, knowing if you look up, you´d met her gaze.

"No? So what do you want to do?" By her voice, you can tell she has the smirk on her face.

"You know..."

"I don´t, (Y/N)." She knows. "You mean you want to fuck?" She chuckles.

This made you look at her. "Amber!" And that was a mistake. "I- uh"

"Hm? Say it and I´ll give you what you want." Her hand is caressing your cheek, slowly going up and down.

"F-fuck." You mumble out.

"Whole sentence, pretty girl. Come on." Her hand slowly squeezes your neck, which makes it hard for you to think.

"I want to fuck." You say very quietly, but Amber let it be.

"You forgetting something." She whispers in your ear.

When did she get so close?

You clench your thighs together again, now one Amber´s hand slipping into your pants.

"I want to fuck, please." You clear your throat as you can feel her hand pushing your drenched panties to the side. "I want you to fuck me, please. Pretty please, Amber!" You buck your hips towards her. "Fuck, please- I need you."

"You need me?" She looks up at you.

You nod. "Yes! I do! So much- a lot. I need only you, please." Your words were so pathetic, but Amber is loving every one you let out.

"You do need me, only me. That´s right. I´m keeping you safe, sweetheart. I always had." She wispers in your ear as her finger is slowly playing with your sensitive clit.

You don´t pay attention to her words, at all. But her finger is doing the gods work. She´s speeding up, but it´s still not enough.

"M-more..." you whine. "Please, im begging you, Amber. I really need it." You quickly add.

"Do you think you deserve it?"

You stay quiet, only letting few whines out, you don´t really know how to asnwer to that.

"Of course you do, my precious girl. Aw, you want more fingers, two? Oh three? We want three fingers? Okay." Amber nods as she whisper in your ear, you don´t control your hips anymore, it´s just going by itself at this point.

As Amber insert three fingers into you, it´s so easy as your wetness is dripping by your thighs. It takes you less than two minutes and you´re feeling like coming.

"Amber!" Is the only thing you are capable of yelling.

"I know, I know, shhhh" she shushes you. "I got you, I do."

"Please, can I? I- please!" You close your eyes, hoping she would say yes.

"Look at those pretty manners, of course. Go ahead my pretty girl." She smirks knowing this is better than she ever imaginated. Way better.

As you ride your high Amber just hold you close. Not ever letting you go and making sure all the danger in the world is secured by her and only her. It was like this before and it will be like that forever.

Thank you for reading!!!!

[soggypotatoes]

ok look. it's a bad time for me. but someday i will find this situation so hilarious, like. i stayed up till 11am reading fanfiction. slept for 6 hours. woke up. decided to just stay awake for the next 24 hours (have uni + therapy). chilling, kinda out of it. fucking. i then fucking superglue my phone to a table. for some reason. try to pick it up, half the screen stays on the table. now no phone and have to add in going to a repair shop before uni. now im sitting here, exhausted, phoneless, grumpy. still got 3 big tiring things to do today.

all bc i wanted to read some dang fanfic and couldnt wait till the next day to continue it

[goddammitjuliette]

Simon likes to take pics of Jace when he’s not looking but this time he glanced over his shoulder. Simon has no idea what kind of monster he’s created. A snapchatting monster.

Conversations they had: 

(+Jace spamming Simon)

Jimon Week. Day One: social media or jimon + favorite quote

“fml?” (+bonus)

[anandasamsara]

(TW for almost-death mention, a lot of it)

So. I’ll be 30 in a few hours.

This means that its been 15 years since i almost died.

I talked about it many times here, in posts about being misdiagnosed by doctors that look at a fat woman and cant see anything else.

When i was still 14, i got sick, around the end of december i think. December 2006, few months before high school. By the time school started, in february 2007, i was in a very bad shape. The whole school experience wasnt helping, my classes were in the afternoon in a school i didnt want to go to. If i had lunch at 11am to be able to be in class by 1pm, i’d get sick, bc i’d only be waking up by then, and still to this day i have to wait at least one hour after waking up before eating.

When i got sick those few months before, was when mom stopped worrying about time, i now remember. I had decided i wouldnt snack on things if there wasnt anything i wanted to eat between meals. It still doesnt sound like such a stupid decision, right? But, by then mom decided lunch was a good idea for the only meal of the day. Thats what still happens too. And time wasnt a worry, so lunch could be around 2-5pm.

So, yeah. An almost 15 year old, only having a single meal a day. I didnt knew how to cook anything then, and if i tried to learn by myself i’d be shouted out of the kitchen for making a mess. One more thing that hadnt changed, but now i know a few recipes.

Fast forward to the start of the school year. I couldnt have lunch at home bc it was too early and there wasnt time, nor even the lunch would be ready. So my first meal of the day would be at around 3pm. I started getting too weak, as you can imagine.

There was also a fight between us and the school, for me to study in the mornings. I hated the afternoon period bc of all i have already said. And things werent looking good for me.

Then came the sickness. In the mornings, i’d puke whatever i ate the night before. After a few weeks, i’d puke whatever kind of food i ingested. Then, i got weak. Really weak.

I’d have what i now recognize were panic attacks, thinking of going to school. I started hiperventilating and my head hurt. I had this sensation of having a plastic bag lodged on my throat. Eating hurt, not eating hurt. I couldnt keep food on my stomach anymore. Swallowing was a nightmare, only to throw it up again and again.

From january to the end of february, I lost about 30kg. Then, in 10 days of march, i lost 10kg more. I was so skinny i could see all my bones. By my birthday, drinking water started to hurt.

All this time, we went to so many doctors. I was by no means a fat kid then, but one look at the simptoms and my “body type” and the doctors told me i was bulimic. Of course, i pleaded to all of them. “I want to eat, i AM hungry and i NEED to eat”, i’d say. None believed. By then, I hadnt gone to school for almost a full month.

At my birthday, everyone would say how pretty i looked. This is something i’ll never forget. To most of my family, and my friend’s families, i looked better past half dead than in any other moment. I looked pretty as an almost corpse. I’d look prettier dead.

The day after my birthday, i couldnt move anymore. I was so tired. I couldnt keep water in my stomach anymore, and i knew i was dying. My bro came to visit, and his dad managed to convince my mom to take me to yet another doctor. Dad was so glad that they came by and told mom that, bc he couldnt take time off work to take me himself, and mom agreed with everyone else that i was prettier and looked better this way, so it must be nothing, right?

On the 13th, a monday, we went to see the final doctor. He did something no other doctor had before: he looked down my throat. Told us that i had nervous esophagitis, a very simple and easily treated thing. It started as a simple sickness, but my mental state made it worse. I was down to half my weight by then, which got him very worried. He told mom that if we had waited a week more, i’d be dead. It had been 2 days since i last had water.

A week after starting on the medicine he gave me, i ate a chicken skewer. A big one, at that. I like to say that i never stopped eating after that. I got fatter and fatter. And i love it, and i love my body now. All this, all my beatiful circumferences tell me that im not near death anymore. Every time someone says im too fat, the only thing in my mind is “im alive and well”. Every time someone suggest a diet, or talks about it around me, i try to consider that im myself, and they know what they’re doing to themselves if they follow any of it. But it still haunts me sometimes.

This week was a very bad one for me. Im going on 30 and i have nothing but my body and my health. No job, no perspective of life, nothing else. Just myself, my existence. And yesterday, i got sick. I puked everything out. Im feeling a little better now, but it scared me. Still does. I never want to look like that again, to feel like that again. And i wont, bc i know better now, and im strong, and if i need medical help i can just go and get it.

Im not okay. But eventually, i’ll be.

And if i could talk to my older self, i would try to help her. She didnt deserve what she had to go through. I know i didnt. But things got better, and they will keep getting better in time.

For many years, i couldnt see myself as her. I couldnt look at this picture and see me. But now that i understand better, i can. I can see the struggles, and the tiny workings i didnt understand back then. And i can work, the hardest i can, to never let it happen again.

[marauder-exe]

Nightmare- James potter x Reader

Request: Hi! Can you make a James imagine with the prompts 31 and 32? Thank you!

Prompts: 31.“Your safe here, I got you”

32. “Don't ask her out again, please.. your killing me every single time you ask that Word Count: 1.1k

A/N: italics mean the dream sequence

‘ As you rounded the corner, quiet as a mouse, only your breathing could be heard. You tried to look for anything, any sign he was still here, any chance he was still alive. This had to be a trick, James was just about to jump out with the rest of the marauders, and announce it was just a prank, it was all just a prank, but of course, that never happened. Then you saw him, possibly the worst sight you've ever seen, the best friend and the love of your life, practically lifeless on the floor. You didn't know what to do you, you froze. How could this happen, just yesterday the marauders where all hanging out together, safe and sound, now he was gone. Thats when it all came out, the screaming, the sobbing.

“JAMES!” You rushed over to him, holding him in your arms, screaming his name. “James please!” You cried. You heard a faint whisper of your name. You cried his name louder and louder.

“(Y/N)! Wake up!” You bolted upright, the sound of James’ morning voice bringing you back to earth, his arms on your shoulders. “Your safe here, I got you” His eyes filled with sorrow and worry.

You looked around to familiarise yourself with your surroundings. You where in the boys dorm room, on the spare bed you usually slept in between James and Sirius’ bed. James was, James was here, he was alive.

“Oh thank god!” You pulled him into a hug, potentially squeezing all the life out of him. Oh you’d never been happier to see that pretty face. At this point you had woke up the entire dorm it you didn't really care, you just continued clinging onto James like your life depended on it.

“Woah Sugar, save that till the boys are asleep” He chuckled. You let out a breathy laugh.

“You guys aren't doing it over there,  are you?” Just as he said that, two pillows hit Padfoot square in the face. “alright alright, you good though?” Sirius asked sincerely.

“Yeah, yeah ill be fine” You gave a weak smile.

“How ‘bout a Hogsmeade date, later today, to cheer you up?” He threw on his classic smirk, You just laughed and shook your head, missing the angry look James shot at Sirius.  You looked over at the clock, 4:45 on a Saturday morning. Great. You probably wouldn't be able to sleep again. James had already returned to his bed after giving you a warming smile, and the rest of the boys had probably gone back to bed. You just stared, stared at the ceiling, at the walls, thinking of what you'd do if James died. Hell, it was too painful to think about. You stared for what felt like hours but in reality, it was probably only 15 minutes.

You snapped out of your daze when you heard James’ voice. “What's on your mind?”. You turned to face his bed, he was already looking.

“Just, how I couldn't do this without you” The biggest smile crept onto his face.

“Come ‘ere”

“What.” This man I swear.

“Come over here, I cant sleep and I know you cant either, cuddling helps sleep.” He paused, “Probably” He gave a goofy grin, oh that smile had a way into your heart. You begrudgingly lifted your, oh so warm blanket, off of your legs, cold feet hitting the wood floor. You trudged over to James bed, he lifted the cover and smiled, you lay down next to him, shifting and getting comfortable. You tensed slightly as he put his arm around you but you soon lay into his warmth. So you lay like that, your heart beating a mile a minute, while being cuddled up with your best friend and the man you've loved for 4 years, and soon you drifted into a peaceful sleep, no more nightmares.

You awoke 6 hours later, sun filtering through the window, landing on James, making him look absolutely ethereal. Man you loved this boy, why couldn't he love you back? His eyes slowly opened and stared at you in adoration.

“Morning love” There was that goofy grin again. “what time is it?” Right you have to act like a functioning human being instead of staring at James all day. You grabbed the clock from his bedside table. “uhhh,, 11am, Wait! 11Am? Were late for breakfast” You both looked around and it seemed all the boys where gone and didn't bother to wake you up. Of course, why would they?

“uh, you can go back to your dorm and get ready if you'd like? Ill tell lily were you were” You tensed up at his mention of lily, you knew they where history, they where over with, but you still couldn't help the pang of jealousy every time he mentioned her.

“Yeah, ill-ill do that” You started to grab your stuff and leave.

“Are you okay? After last night?” You mumbled a quiet yes. “Ill always be here for you” He enveloped you in a hug, you just breathed him in, content. “right, you should get changed, you reeeeek” He thought he was absolutely hilarious, letting out a loud laugh. You just gave an exaggerated ‘hawr, hawr’.

“Bye, Bye, loser, make sure to save me a seat! And with that you left.

Down in the great hall James joined his friends, throwing glares at Sirius. the entire time. He didn't mean to come off as horrible to his best friend, but when he kept going after the woman he's loved for the last 3 years, it kinda stung.

“Where's (Y/N)?” The simple question from Sirius. was enough for jealousy to course through his veins

“What, planning more dates?” Remus chuckled.

“o’ course” He laughed.

The rest of the breakfast was spent in near uncomfortable silence, the rest of the marauders couldnt figure out why there was an air of uneasiness but James knew.

He turned to his best friend, eyes full of hope and sadness.” Pads, don't ask her out again, please… it kills me every single time you ask that.” Sirius could see the pain in his eyes, and instantly wanted to re assure him.

“Don't worry mate, just go get your girl, she's waiting” He chuckled and pointed towards the door with his fork, where you stood, dressed in a beautiful dress ready for Hogsmeade. James leapt up, kissed his best mate on the forehead and sped of down the hall towards you.

Remus, Sirius and Peter all stared on towards him, as he accioed some flowers, and placed one behind your ear, you just shook your head and responded with something they couldn't hear. They looked happy. Genuinely happy.

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Rose Coloured Glasses - Part 3

A/N - Thank you all for reading so far! This is more of a filler chapter just to move it along. More to come soon! Please like and share if your enjoying it 💕

When i came home with Frank yesterday i didn't expect him to stick around, but here i was waking up in a tangled naked mess with him...my body aching in the most amazing ways.

I stopped my alarm from going off so i didn't wake him and slipped out of bed to have a shower before Andy arrived to pick me up for work.

"Where are you going?" i heard Frank mumble as i pulled on clean underwear, i turned to look at him with a huge smile, the man truly was beautiful.

"I gotta go to work"

"Call in sick, stay in bed with me all day"

"As tempting as that offer is.... i cant, Andy is picking me up in 10 minutes"

"Oh.... i could have taken you"

"I didn't know you'd still be here" i said honestly.

"I can go if its a problem...."

"Its not, i'm glad you stayed" i smiled leaning over to kiss him, his hands gripped my hips and pulled me into his lap so i was straddling his waist.

"Frank! I dont have time for this..." i moaned feeling his hard length pressing against me as he kissed my neck.

"We can be quick...."

"Im gonna be late....." i laughed using all my will power to crawl off his lap, i was just at the end of the bed when he dived at me and we fell to the floor laughing.

"Call your boss and tell him you don't need a ride, i'll take you"

"I can't his probably already outside" i reached down and quickly kissed him again before getting up and rushing to my wardrobe, i pulled on a black polkadot dress and some black pumps before quickly tying my hair up.

When i came back into the bedroom Frank was still laying on my bedroom floor only wearing his tight black boxers that didnt hide anything.

"Well damn.... you make it so hard to leave"

"Im staying right here til you get back"

"I'll be back at 5:30" i knelt down and kissed him "you can stay if you like?"

I got up grabbing my purse and a jacket before making my escape. If i didn't leave now i'd be calling in sick!

As i thought, Andy was already parked outside waiting for me in his black Audi.....Im not sure how long he had been there but the engine wasn't running.

"Morning" i greeted him with a smile which he returned.

"Morning"

"Sorry to keep you waiting"

"its fine i was a little early anyway"

"Thanks again for coming to pick me up, i get my car back later today"

"They sorted that quick" he said as he started the car and began the drive to the office.

"Yeah something to do with a cracked cylinder head or something? I have no clue" i chuckled "i'm completely hopeless when it comes to cars"

"Me too!" He admitted smiling over at me. The rest of the journey was spent with idle chit chat just to fill the silence.

Frank: Ur music selection sucks BTW!

Frank texted me around 11am, i couldn't help but laugh quietly to myself.

Y/N: don't listen to it then lol 🤣

Frank: But im bored!

Y/N: Find something to watch on Netflix, its all signed in.

Frank: Just come home, you'll keep me busy 😜

Y/N: ....

My desk phone rang i looked at the display to see it was Andy calling.

"Hello" i answered on the second ring.

"Hey, could you come to my office real quick please?"

"Sure, i'm on my way" i got up grabbing my notebook and a pen incase he needed me to take some notes down.

"Come on in" he smiled as i reached his office door.

"What can i do for you?"

"I have to head up to Vermont, an old friend of mine called in a favour"

"Okay, what do you need?"

"I need you to come with me" he said looking at me with an apologetic grimace on his face.

"What?.... why?"

"Honestly? im gonna be swamped, i need you to be there to help keep my diary updated, grab me coffee and lunch.... i know it sounds boring as hell but i'll pay you double. I usually take Susan on these kinda things but as you know she's home sick with the flu"

Susan was the older woman who had been Andy's PA for years before i started working here, she was about to retire and i was her replacement.

"When?"

"Tomorrow, should be for a day, two at the most. I'll book a hotel and cover expenses"

"Sure, if you need me to...."

"It would be a huge help"

"Okay" i nodded but couldnt help but think it was strange that he wanted me to go with him.

"Thank you Y/N, i owe you! I'll pick you up at 7am i like to get on the road early"

"Sure, not a problem" i smiled and went back to my desk, missing the smug smile that quickly crossed Andy's face.

I left work a little early so i could go collect my car that was now fixed and headed home. I was surprised to walk in to the smell of cooking!

"Whats all this?" I asked Frank raising my eyebrows in question when i walked into the kitchen to find him at the stove wearing my apron.

"Oh hey! Your home!" He smiled turning to me and kissing me quickly "how was work?"

"Strange...... seems to be the theme of today"

"Sorry, is this weird? I just.... i was bored so i thought id cook you dinner" Frank said scratching his jaw looking a little nervous.

"Its not weird" i chuckled "more unexpected"

"Well see, its completely selfish on my part really...." he said sliding me a glass of white wine.

"How so?"

"Because i plan to keep you busy for the rest of the night soooo, its only fair i feed you first" he grinned making me roll my eyes at him.

"Okay Romeo" i shook my head laughing at him, he really was something! "How long til its ready?"

"10 minutes tops?"

"Great, i've just gotta go throw an overnight bag together real quick then i'm all yours" i pressed a quick kiss to Franks lips and headed to my bedroom.

As i packed a few change of clothes and toiletries i couldnt help but think about how easy it was having Frank here....Id only known him a day for christ sake!

"Y/N, foods ready" he called as i zipped up the bag.

"Okay i'll be right there".

Dinner was spaghetti and meatballs and it was honestly the best id had, it was his grandma's recipe apparently.

"So how come your packing an overnight bag?" Frank asked halfway through dinner.

"Oh, i've gotta go to Vermont with Andy for a day or two. He asked me to go with him this afternoon" i shrugged

"Isn't that a little odd?"

"I don't know, he said Susan used to go with him"

"Who's Susan?"

"His PA i'm replacing"

"The old chick?"

"Yeah"

"But he didn't have a thing for Susan"

"Frank don't start that again...."

"I bet his wife doesn't know his asked his sexy as hell PA to accompany him on his little business trip" he shook his head.

"You jealous?" I smirked trying to make a joke of it before it got to serious.

"What if i am?"

"I thought this was just fun?" I motioned between the two of us.

"So did i..... but i cant stop thinking about you...."

"You have no reason to be jealous, Andy is my boss nothing more. I like this with us, whatever it is...."

"So i can see you again when you get back from Vermont?"

"I think that can be arranged".

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

Rose Coloured Glasses taglist: @readermia @princess-evans-addict @jennmurawski13

[solcheeky]

break a leg arm

summary: mark breaks his arm and a cast is all he needs as an excuse to get you to do everything for him

warnings: mature content insinuated, strong language

a/n: I literally went thru a heck load of his tweets to see what he was like through text lmfao also this is a remake! insp from sheep

-

[1 Missed Call] broccoli johnny 8:56PM

[New Message] from broccoli johnny 9:00PM, hey

[broccoli johnny] 9:00PM, I know its kind of late but

[broccoli johnny] 9:01PM, mark’s in the ER right now, you busy?

[you] 9:05PM, wtf

[you] 9:05PM, where

[you] 9:05PM, why

[broccoli johnny] 9:06PM, nothing serious dw

[broccoli johnny] 9:06PM, we’re in seoul national

[you] 9:07PM, okay im coming

[broccoli johnny] 9:07PM, mind coming over?

[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, oh

[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, lol cool cool

[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, just text me when you get here :-)

[you] 9:34PM, I’m here where are you?

[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, hold on

[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, jae cant get his drink out of the vending machine

[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, we’ll meet u in the lobby in a sec

[you] 9:36PM, jaehyun you are a grown man

[broccoli johnny] 9:36PM, jae said hes not going to share his drink with you now

-

[New Message] from lioncub 11:45PM, Sorry for making you worry haha and thank you for coming over so fast

[lioncub] 11:45PM, You home ssfe yet?

[lioncub] 11:45PM, *Safe

[lioncub] 11:46PM, Damn this whole cast on my arm thing is really getting in the way haha

[you] 11:46PM, always<3 and yea I am :) you?

[lioncub] 11:46PM, Yeah, everyone’s in bed. Johnjae’s about to leave

[you] 11:46PM, nice

[you] 11:47PM, tell jaehyun that I hope he falls over

[lioncub] 11:48PM, Woah hahahaha

[lioncub] 11:48PM, Is this because he didn’t share his drink with you?

[you] 11:48PM, it was the last one left >:( and the traitor drank it all >:((

[lioncub] 11:50PM, Haha

[you] 11:50PM, >:(

[lioncub] 11:51PM, You’re so cute 

[you] 11:51PM, wow you type so slow

[lioncub] 11:51PM, I brokr my ar, !!!

[you] 11:51PM, yikes

[lioncub] 11:52PM, Dude dp you want me to type fast or not?

[you] 11:52PM, you’ll make mistakes either way👀

[lioncub] 11:52PM, *Do

[lioncub] 11:53PM, Hahaha very funny lool

[lioncub] 11:54PM, Come on babr

[lioncub] 11:54PM, *Basbr 

[lioncub] 11:54PM, *Babve

[lioncub] 11:54PM, Damn. *babe

[you] 11:54PM, just. don’t text me anymore . 

[lioncub] 11:55PM, Wait what !!!!!

[lioncub] 11:55PM, But my cast wont br off for weeks!!

[lioncub] 11:56PM, Babe !

[lioncub] 11:56PM, D: !!

[you] 11:56PM, I meant that like..... ‘call me’ you dummy

[lioncub] 11:57PM, Oh

[lioncub] 11:57PM, Oops 

[Incoming Call] lioncub 11:58PM

-

[New Message] from marks arm 1:12PM, They left me at home :/

[marks arm] 1:12PM, All alone

[marks arm] 1:13PM, And I’m bored :/

[marks arm] 1:13PM, Bee

[marks arm] 1:13PM, Oh

[marks arm] 1:14PM, Are

[marks arm] 1:14PM, D

[marks arm] 1:14PM, b o r e d

[marks arm] 1:15PM, Babe

[marks arm] 1:15PM, Babe?

[marks arm] 1:15PM, Ba b e

[Missed Video Call] marks arm 1:17PM

[you] 1:21PM, oh shit sory just came out yhe shower

[marks arm] 1:22PM, Oh lool sorry

[marks arm] 1:22PM, You going out somewhere?

[marks arm] 1:23PM, OH are you coming over? :0

[you] 1:23PM, huh? no

[you] 1:23PM, lmfao gotta go to the supermarket

[marks arm] 1:24PM, Is that code for my dorm?

[you] 1:24PM, uh

[you] 1:24PM, what

[marks arm] 1:25PM, Super-MARK-et

[marks arm] 1:25PM, 😏😏😏 

[you] 1:25PM, …………

[marks arm] 1:26PM, Dude. You can’t tell me that wanst funny

[you] 1:26PM, …………………… 

[marks arm] 1:26PM, Comn on man. That was pretty funny!!!

[marks arm] 1:27PM, *Wasn’t *Come

[marks arm] 1:27PM, 😏😏😏 ???

[you] 1:27PM, I’m not coming over just because you made a ‘good’ joke

[marks arm] 1:28PM, Hahahahaha! babe please!!

[marks arm] 1:28PM, I’m so fucking bored~

[marks arm] 1:28PM, I have thid dumbass cast on now and the boys wont be back till waaayy later

[marks arm] 1:29PM, *This

[marks arm] 1:30PM, It’s not like I can take the cast off. But you can keep me company!!

[marks arm] 1:30PM, Pretty please🥺

[you] 1:30PM, but I gotta go shop D:

[marks arm] 1:31PM, Oh right. yeah lol

[marks arm] 1:31PM, but you can come over after?😏

[you] 1:31PM, hmmmmmm

[marks arm] 1:32PM, No one’s home😏 and

[marks arm]1:32PM, and Iwanttohugyou

[marks arm] 1:33PM, Plus I promise I won’t hug you with my casr haha

[marks arm] 1:33PM, *Cast

[you] 1:33PM, cute

[marks arm] 1:34PM, Did.. Did you not just hear what I said?

[marks arm] 1:34PM, No one’s home !!!

[you] 1:35PM, fine :[

[you] 1:35PM, but after I shop :>

[marks arm] 1:36PM, Alright nice haha. After you shop. Got it !

[New Message] from marks arm 1:45PM, Can you get me snacks??

[marks arm] 1:49PM, You can’t just leave me on read !!!!

-

[you] 8:03PM, can’t believe I bought you snacks for that

[marks arm] 8:04PM, It was the cast!! I swear !!

[marks arm] 8:04PM, You weren’t the only one uncomfortable >:( I can’t hold myself up over you when my arm is broken lool

[you] 8:05PM, I’m taking your lap next time🙄

[marks arm] 8:05PM, Oh woah

[you] 8:06PM, ‘woah’ what?

[marks arm] 8:06PM, :0

[marks arm] 8:06PM, Woah nothing. Hahahaha

[you] 8:06PM, okay well,,, save your lap for me next time

[marks arm] 8:07PM, lol okay

[marks arm] 8:07PM, Next time.

[marks arm] 8:07PM, I like that

-

[New Message] from marker 2:20AM, You awake?

[you] 2:21AM, no

[marker] 2:21AM, Oh okay nevermind then

[you] 2:22AM, …

[you] 2:22AM, uh mark

[marker] 2:23AM, Wait a minute

[you] 2:23AM, there we go😂😂

[marker] 2:23AM, ;/

[you] 2:23AM, LOL whats up? its 2am🤔dont you have to go studio in the morning🤔

[marker] 2:24AM, Yeah :/ but my arm hurts ;/

[you] 2:24AM, badly?

[marker] 2:25AM, Mhm :(

[marker] 2:25AM, I cant sleep :(( it hurts :/ like actually really hurts

[you] 2:25AM, lemme get back to you in 7 years after I get my doctors licence

[marker] 2:26AM, Hahahahahahaha

[marker] 2:26AM, Can you get back to me in 3secs as my bestfriend instead?

[you] 2:26AM, touché

[marker] 2:26AM, Haha

[marker] 2:27AM, Let me video call you?

[you] 2:27AM, doyoung is asleep though

[marker] 2:27AM, Yeaahh

[marker] 2:28AM, But I wantf to see you :(

[you] 2:28AM, you saw me today ?

[marker] 2:28AM, It wasnt enough :(

[you] 2:29AM, are you okay??

[marker] 2:29AM, Yeah! I am! I just

[marker] 2:29AM, idk

[marker] 2:29AM, Seeing you makesd me feel better

[you] 2:29AM, cute

[marker] 2:29AM, Shutup man

[marker] 2:30AM, Just let me call youuu

[you] 2:30AM, hm

[you] 2:31AM, fine

[you] 2:31AM, this is my way of making up for my lack of a doctors licence

[marker] 2:31AM, hahahahahahahaha

[marker] 2:31AM, I’m gonna wake up doyoung laughing like this

[you] 2:32AM, lmao pls dont blame me when he whoops your ass in the morning

[marker] 2:32AM, I wont :)

[Incoming Call] marks arm 2:33AM

-

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[doyoung]: Mark looks like a sardine that was left to dry out in the sun for 12 days

[marker]: Hey man

[marker]: Thats just mean

[fullsun]: not mean, just the truth💅🏼

[doyoung]: It’s because he was up all night talking to you know who👀

[mr peach]: exposed

[you]: mark you said doyoung was a heavy sleeper

[doyoung]: He lied.

[marker]: We werent that loud man

[nakamoto]: I could hear mark from my bedroom

[let’s winwin!]: *our bedroom

[let’s winwin!]: and no we couldn’t

[nakamoto]: I did👀

[broccolli johnny]: all yuta does is lie lmfao

[marker]: How??!!?

[marker]: Your bedroom is upstairs!!!

[junguwu]: ? I couldnt hear them ??? and I’m next door

[nakamoto]: if I was upstairs then explain to me how I heard y/n complaining about how mark farts too much🤔🤔🤔

[marker]: Oh my god

[broccoli johnny]: LMFAAAOO

[junguwu]: HAHAH HAHAHAHAH

[mr peach]: this again LOL

[you]: I still can’t believe they let you talk about marks farts in your tmi vids

[oldman]: 😂😂😂😂😂oh no

[fullsun]: the dried sardine has got some explaining to do👀

[marker]: Dude its not true!!! I swear !!!!!!

[you]: a little bit true

[doyoung]: ✋also a witness

[marker]: >:0

[marker]: Fucking betrayers!!!!!!!

[marker]: Johnny tell them its not true !!!

[broccoli johnny]: my hands are tied bro🤗

[marker]: whAT

[marker]: Jaehyun?!

[mr peach]: its not true.

[doyoung]: Way to sound believable🙄

[nakamoto]: word on the street y/n is tired of mark never saying sorry or excusing himself from farting🤧

[marker]: You guys are just big bullies man

[marker]: Sicheng man you’re the only one I have left😭

[let’s winwin!]: lol no

[fullsun]: yuta may be lying about hearing yall last night but👀

[fullsun]: the fart thing is true👀

[nakamoto]: i rest my case

[broccoli johnny]: one day mark is gonna fart and it’ll poison you all

[nakamoto]: I heard hes poisoned a couple of people already🧐

[marker]: DUDE

-

[New Message] from mark LEE 10:11AM, Hey can I ask you something?

[you] 10:12AM, sure whats up?

[you] 10:12AM, you okay?

[mark LEE] 10:13AM, So um ;//

[mark LEE] 10:13AM, My farts dont annoy you do they?

[you] 10:14AM, LOL mARK

[mark LEE] 10:14AM, What ?! what!!!!

[mark LEE] 10:14AM, I’m serious!!!

[you] 10:15AM, its been like 3 days since that conversation

[mark LEE] 10:15AM, And I havent been able to fart in front of you since!!

[you] 10:15AM, LMAAOOO MARKKKK

[mark LEE] 10:16AM, Babe I’m deadass!!!

[you] 10:16AM, yuta was just joking stupid

[mark LEE] 10:17AM, :/

[mark LEE] 10:17AM, I know

[mark LEE] 10:17AM, But

[you] 10:18AM, but?

[mark LEE] 10:18AM, I fart

[mark LEE] 10:18AM, like

[mark LEE] 10:18AM, a lot

[you] 10:19AM, omg mark

[you] 10:19AM, it doesnt matter!! I think its cute

[mark LEE] 10:19AM, What?!

[you] 10:19AM, when you fart youre cute

[you] 10:20AM, when you sneeze youre cute

[you] 10:20AM, when you talk youre cute

[you] 10:20AM, even when you just breathe youre fucking cute

[you] 10:20AM, I dont care about your farts

[mark LEE] 10:21AM, You’re weird

[you] 10:21AM, ask the groupchat if you dont believe me

-

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[marker]: Anyways guys

[junguwu]: ya

[marker]: Am I cute?

[fullsun]: no

-

[New Message] from cute idiot 9:37PM, Where are you?

[cute idiot] 9:37PM, Babe

[cute idiot] 9:37PM, The bath is gonna get cold man

[you] 9:40PM, we got a problem

[cute idiot] 9:40PM, What? No lighter? Not even matchsticks?

[you] 9:40PM, johnjae are here

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, !???!?!?!?!!!

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, whAT

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, Like in the dorm here?!?!??

[you] 9:41PM, yea you dummy

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, Shit whAT

[you] 9:42PM, wtf happened to ‘no one is coming home till late today’ !???!!

[cute idiot] 9:42PM, I

[cute idiot] 9:42PM, I DIDNT KNOW I SWEAR OMG

[cute idiot] 9:42PM, wHAT DID U SAY TO THEM

[you] 9:43PM, I look like a psycho mark

[cute idiot] 9:43PM, tHATS WHAT YOU SAID?

[you] 9:43PM, nO

[you] 9:44PM, they caught me… in the kitchen…. going through the drawers

[you] 9:44PM, with just your tshirt on…

[you] 9:44PM, my hair is wet af mark

[cute idiot] 9:45PM, oh god

[you] 9:45PM, how was i supposed to explain myself ?!

[you] 9:45PM, tell them my hair is wet because I just climbed out of the bath i was sharing with their roommate ?!!?

[you] 9:45PM, tell them i needed something to light the candles beside the fucking bubble bath ?!??

[cute idiot] 9:45PM, Shit shit shit

[you] 9:46PM, and all because you couldnt get out of the tub without injuring your broken-arm ??!

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Oh my gof

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Please tell me that is not what you said

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Oh my god

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, This is so embarrassing

[cute idiot] 9:47PM, Dude

[cute idiot] 9:47PM, Why arnet you answering?!?!

[cute idiot] 9:47PM, What the fuc do I do

[you] 9:48PM, hold on theyre talking to me

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, I’m freakinghout

[you] 9:48PM, apparently theyre back early because they need to go prerecord nct nightnight

[you] 9:48PM, johnny needed to pick something up on the way

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Oh god

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Whdt do I do?!

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Do I getr out!?

[you] 9:49PM, told them you were showering

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Shit

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Okay I’m turning on the shower

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, You know

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, For soubnd effects

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Shit man shitr

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, wait

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, wb you?!

[cute idiot] 9:50PM, You didn’t dry yourself. Dude you didn’t even bring a towel

[cute idiot] 9:50PM, Hwo you gonna explain

[you] 9:51PM, told them your dumbass slipped

[you] 9:51PM, and I had to help you because of your arm

[you] 9:51PM, wait brb

[cute idiot] 9:51PM, Nooo dont brb me

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, I feel exposed now

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, Oh my god

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, This is the worst

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, This is the WORST 

[cute idiot] 9:53PM, Babe?

[you] 9:57PM, okay theyre gone😪😪

[cute idiot] 9:57PM, Thank god

[cute idiot] 9:57PM, Did they believe you?

[you] 9:58PM, I fucking hope so

[you] 9:58PM, I’m coming back

[cute idiot] 9:58PM, Be quick ;/ I kinda made a mess

-

[[foreign swaggers💯💯💯]]

[sexy boi ten]: just out of curiosity🧐

[sexy boi ten]: who here loves bubble baths?

[johns banana]: hmmmmmm idk man🤔 good question🤔

[jeffrey]: 😂😂😂

[kark]: Oh my god

[sexy boi ten]: I think one of us is a bubble bath enthusiast

[sexy boi ten]: but I just cant put my finger on it🧐

[kark]: Can’t believe you told ten

[johns banana]: told him what🤔🤔

[kark]: Don’t lie to me bro

[sexy boi ten]: i think youre the only one lying here

[kark]: 😨😨😨

[kark]: Jaehyun please help me

[jeffrey]: I heard there were candles

[kark]: 😧

[johns banana]: candles ?! 🤔 oh gasp🤧

[sexy boi ten]: so this is what you get up to when no ones around

[kark]: hahahaha noooo

[kark]: youre making it sound super weird man !!

[jeffrey]: lmfaaooo

[sexy boi ten]: this whole broken limb thing doesnt seem so bad now

[kark]: we didnt /do/ anything

[sexy boi ten]: why?😏 were you supposed have done something? 😏😏

[kark]: hahaha oh my god

[johns banana]: what are you tryna say mark🤗

[kark]: dude !!!!!!!

[kark]: youre all making this way weirder than it already is man

[jeffrey]: arent you the one making it weird?

[sexy boi ten]: johnny break my arm so i can get a bubble bath

[johns banana]: you dont have a girlfriend

[sexy boi ten]: i know

[sexy boi ten]: but i could have a boyfriend

[jeffrey]: you dont have a boyfriend either

[sexy boi ten]: then can you run me a bubble bath instead😘😘😘😘

[kark]: what

[johns banana]: depends… do I get to join

[kark]: wHAT

[johns banana]: I’ll be the mark to your y/n

[jeffrey]: this is going in my TMI

-

[New Message] from marks arm 4:15PM, They keep teasing me about the bath thing

[you] 4:15PM, so no more baths together?

[marks arm] 4:16PM, I didn’t say that........

-

[New Message] from bunny doyoung 6:47PM, Change of plans

[bunny doyoung] 6:47PM, He’s already on the way to yours

[you] 6:48PM, what?!

[you] 6:48PM, I was about to leave

[bunny doyoung] 6:49PM, Sorry I couldnt stop him

[bunny doyoung] 6:49PM, Said there’s too many of us in the dorm at the moment lmao

[bunny doyoung] 6:50PM, He’s such a kid

[you] 6:50PM, ffs mark

[you] 6:51PM, thanks do

[bunny doyoung] 6:51PM, Of course

-

[you] 6:53PM, mark wth

[you] 6:53PM, doyoung said youre coming here

[marks eggs] 6:55PM, Sorry baby

[marks eggs] 6:55PM, It’s way too hectic back there

[you] 6:56PM, you know I dont mind

[marks eggs] 6:56PM, I do this time

[marks eggs] 6:57PM, I want alone time with you

[you] 6:57PM, but I made food for the boys

[marks eggs] 6:57PM, I’ll eat it all :)

[you] 6:58PM, marrrrrkk

[marks eggs] 6:58PM, Too late I’m outside

[marks eggs] 6:58PM, Open up

-

[New Message] ty track 1:00AM, He’s not coming back tonight is he?

[you] 1:01AM, defo not

[you] 1:01AM, hes asleep on my lap atm

[ty track] 1:02AM, Sigh

[ty track] 1:02AM, Fine, make sure he wakes up early

[ty track] 1:03AM, He has to be back by 7am, we have a shoot in the morning

[you] 1:03AM, okay sure thing

[ty track] 1:03AM, Get some rest too

[you] 1:04AM, thanks tae you too💚

[ty track] 1:04AM, Goodnight💚

[you] 1:05AM, night :)

-

[[dreamies but not rlly]]

[pudu]: what time did you say you were going to come over again?

[you]: before 10 why?

[pudu]: because marks trying to break up renjun and jaemin from wrestling

[pudu]: with one arm

[jenojam]: is that what all that yelling is?

[you]: hyuck

[you]: why are you texting me when you can help him out

[pudu]: y/n thats a dumb question and you know it

[dolphinle]: such a dumb question

[you]: why arent any of you doing anything????????

[pudu]: why dont you just come over sooner ^^

[you]: hyuck I cant I’m running errands atm

[dolphinle]: see y/n is running errands hyung

[you]: thanks chenle

[pudu]: shutup chenle

[you]: wheres jisung

[jisung park]: staying out of the mess

[you]: good.

[you]: one less dreamie to worry about

[jisung park]: youre welcome

[pudu]: okay they stopped play fighting :/

[jenojam]: because mark says his arm hurts

[you]: you guys are the worst

[pudu]: *best

[moomin]: you guys are snitches

[dolphinle]: and snitches get stitches

[jaemin<3]: renjun broke my neck

[moomin]: did not

[moomin]: your stupid neck happened to fall into my hands

[pudu]: LMAOO

[jaemin<3]: :0 can u believe this

[you]: is mark okay?

[jenojam]: no

[mark sucks]: Yes

[mark sucks]: hahahaha just carry on with your errands and come at 10 I have this unser contrl

[mark sucks]: *Under

[mark sucks]: *Control

[pudu]: HAHA what lies

[jisung park]: hyung doesnt have anything under control

[jaemin<3]: youre not going to ask if I’m okay? :(

[moomin]:  jaemin ur still breathing right?

[moomin]: yea thats what I thought

[dolphinle]: ye thats what he thought

[jaemin<3]: I didnt even say anything yet!!

[pudu]: LMFAAOO

[you]: jeno help

[jenojam]: je-no thank you

-

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]] 

[tytrack]: well then who was it?

[nakamoto]: I think johnny was the last one to use the vacuum

[marker]: Babe can you pick up a box on the way ;/ we ranm out lastr night

[nakamoto]: .................

[fullsun]: well okay. this was fun. g2g. forever. ✌️✌️✌️

[doyoung]: Only mark would do this.

[nakamoto]: 🤡🤡🤡🤡

[doyoung]: Seriously only mark.

[marker]: Shit!!!

[marker]: Fucvbk man

[you]: wrong chat you fat loser

-

[canada mark] 7:00PM, Shit baby I’m so soryr

[you] 7:00PM, you’re the biggest dummy😂😂😂

-

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]] 

[junguwu]: a box of what?

[tytrack]: what the fuck mark

[junguwu]: oh

[marker]: Dude I didn’t mean to!!! 

[broccoli johnny]: this is why he left the dorm so quick lmfao

[marker]: Baby I’m so so so sorry I’ll make it up for you tonight

[junguwu]: :0

-

[you] 7:05PM, wRONG CHAT AGAIN STUPID

[canada mark] 7:05PM, FCUK

-

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]] 

[nakamoto]: jc mark🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

[fullsun]: can we push the gc name into full gear now?

[fullsun]: it’s no longer a joke. 

[marker]: IM IN SO MANY GROUPCHATS ITS HARD OKAY

-

[you] 7:07PM, you’re lucky you have a broken arm or else 

[canada mark] 7:08PM, Dude I’m so sorry. Like really.

[canada mark] 7:08PM, I was rushing in case you left the store already ;/ sorry :(

[canada mark] 7:08PM, I’ll do whatever you want ! promise.

[you] 7:09PM, you can barely do anything with that broken arm stupid

[you] 7:09PM, its okay😂 

[canada mark] 7:09PM, Really?

[you] 7:10PM, lets just say you owe me one 

‘you changed [canada mark] to [stupid mark]’

[stupid mark] 7:11PM, Yeah okay. I deserve that one.

- 

[New Message] from stupid mark 7:24AM, Can I call you?

[stupid mark] 7:24AM, I seriously hate texting ;/

[you] 7:25AM, is it because of the wrong groupchat thing or your cast?

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, ......both lol

[you] 7:25AM, okay but I’m in bed bby its so early

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Perfect!! then you don’t have to move ! 

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Just close your eyes and talk to me :^)

[you] 7:26AM, you can talk to everyone else whos awake :^)

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Everyones getting their hair done and stuff

[stupid mark] 7:26AM, And I’m handicapped let me call you.

[you] 7:26AM, wooooow ‘handicapped’ you can’t text me

[Incoming Video Call] stupid mark 7:26PM

[stupid mark] 7:2APM, Pick up!! please!!

- 

[New Message] from sore loser 11:20PM, :((((

[you] 11:21PM, mark? 

[you] 11:21PM, whats wrong?

[sore loser] 11:22PM, Do you want to come with me to the doctors get my cast off tomorrow? 

[you] 11:22PM, huh????

[you] 11:22PM, I mean yeah sure but

[you] 11:22PM, whats with the sad face?

[sore loser] 11:23PM, No! I’m happy! but sad ;/

[sore loser] 11:23PM, I get to be on stage again but ;( I can’t play damsel in distress anymore haha

[sore loser] 11:23PM, If I call you over, you’ll still come right?

[you] 11:24PM, depends.........

[sore loser] 11:24PM, See!! 

[you] 11:24PM, I’m just kidding lmao

[sore loser] 11:24PM, Oh

[sore loser] 11:24PM, So... You’ll still shampoo my hair sometimes? ;/ or like sit on my lap,,and stuff ;/// ??

[you] 11:25PM, you know I’ll do all those things regardless whether your arm is broken or not

[sore loser] 11:25PM, You’re the best 

[you] 11:25PM, plus you still owe me one :^)

[sore loser] 11:25PM, Oh yeah! I do !!

‘you changed [sore loser] to [<3]’

[<3] 11:26PM, Hahaha cute

[<3] 11:26PM, Okay :))))

[<3] 11:26PM, I’ll give you what I owe you tomorrow after we go doctors ;) <3

[you] 11:27PM, perfect

[<3] 11:27PM, Yeah, perfect :))

-

[New Message] from <3 9:34AM, Yeah, oops. Not so perfect..... omg I’m sorry

[you] 9:34AM, yeah your arm is like jelly its weird

[<3] 9:34AM, Hahahahaha

[<3] 9:34AM, In three weeks then?

[New Message] from <3 9:36AM, You can’t just leave me on read !!!!!!!!!

[You are Video Calling <3 ...] 9:36AM

[per-se-phonie-blog]

the shit show is here !

welp it’s winter and i’m depressed again. i lasted longer this year though, it didn’t start until december. i know what triggered it;

-breaking up from school: i’ve lost ll order in my life and have free will, and quite frankly i don’t know what to do. i’ve watched 4 movies today alone and haven’t left the house in 2 days.

-the impending doom of art coursework i refuse to do. school sucked the joy i found in painting.

-my lack of piano. i miss playing it. i don’t have a working wire for it, and can’t find one anywhere on the internet. big sad. :( i think playing was the only thing keeping me sane...

-mUsIc dIaRiEs!!!!11!1! school has also sucked the joy out of music, for the most part.

-weeabo. that shall be her name on here cause she an absolute weeb, worse than me. the other day we had a music performance, and i wanted the sing  and uke for spring day by bts, but i’d lost my voice. i hadnt lost my fingers though, and so i messaged weeb asking iif she still remembered the words and if she wouldn’t mind singing for me, to which she responded “sure! i’d love to!”. come the day, we have an hour to rehearse before we leave, and i pestering weeb to go through it, while she’s prancing around on chairs with TL and QG (talent lady and quiet gorl). so i keep asking her, then she turns around, pulls a face and says, “ughhh i don’t really wanna do thissss”. so i turn around and start angrily crying. I had no voice so literally no one but red noticed, and she’s a saint, i love red so much, thank you for cheering me up and helping me. so i’m crying because it now mean’s i cant do anything in the show which i’ve been waiting for for agessss, and i even prepared and asked her ahead of time, but it’s not the first time i’ve been let down by her for being selfish. i know i sound like a spoiled brat but she does this all the time, and i’m fed up of being treated like this anymore. i might stop talking to her for a bit, cause she needs to learn a lesson.

-the fact that i have to choose between spending christmas eve with my family or with saboi (my boyfriend) and his family. i feel really bad cause i know saboi wants me to go and so does red, but i’m getting along with my parents for once and i wanna spend time with them.

-i have nobody to rant to. i feel like a burden to everyone else, yet also that i’m everyones person to vent to. i’m not sure i have the mental capacity anymore. i’m overwhelmed.

-i can’t get across emotions. i don’t like talking about feelings as a person, to people, i find it difficult, and i just cry, i’ also finding it difficult to show affection, or hold conversations. i love saboi, i really do, but i’m finding it hard to talk to him because i just don’t know what to say. this s the only place i find easy to put across what i want to.

-insomnia is back. can’t sleep until like 2, then i sleep until 11am or something stupid. it’s ruining productivity.

-orchid. she hates those flowers, so that’s what i’ll name her. i love her. she’s my soulmate. but she’s getting to be too much. i feel llike i know her more than i know myself. and yet i feel detatched from her. i’m not too sure what to do. i feel like i’m her counciller yet i feel obliged to listen. i feel like if i’m not there she’ll die. that nearly happened the other day with sloth. sloth cuts for attention, and started messaging me about hhow she wanted to die. well me too, but i dont message anyone because i feel like i cant. i even told sloth at the beginning, i dont feel like i can deal with it at the mment but she made me feel like she’d kill herself if i didn’t convince her otherwise. i feel that way constantly with orchid. i’m scared. i’m too involved with her, she keeps calling me but i don’t want to pick up. i’m scared i’ll have to convince her not to die. but it’s not only that. it’s at school too. she locked herself in the toilets, crying over exams during tute a few weeks ago so i had to come and get her, and i couldnt help but feel jealous. why can’t i be crying for once. why do i always have to be happy and strong.

-the thing that orchid involved me in that deserves a whole post of it’s own.

-my parents. not that they were a trigger, i’m just constantly worried about their relationship together, and the one i recently found with them, especially my mum. i told her a lot of things during the orchid incident, and i feel like i might just be able to tell her more things.

-the fact that i wont be able to tell anyone about this blog

-outside is always dark.

my next posts will be on orchid, sloth, my parents and stuff to do with them.

[montydollcrew]

Event Report - Doll Show 53 (Early Summer Asakusa) Part 1

Last week there were two doll events in Tokyo - Doll Show and Dolpa. Dolpa was only the day after! I went to both. 

Jasper came with me, mainly because I had already looked up the dealers list and knew that there would be people selling clothes made for Dearmine Beans, which are a tricky size to fit due to their big thighs not fitting standard Obitsu11 stuff unless its extremely stretchy like the leggings he’s had till now. (If you’re wondering why he no longer has blushing on his ears, long story short I screwed up glueing his magnets back in after they came out and the only way to remove them was to use acetone to dissolve the glue, which meant losing the blushing. I do plan to redo it once I get some pink pastels)

This was also my first Doll Show! I had considered only going to Dolpa, but Doll Show is an event for all dolls while Dolpa is only for Volks products, so Doll Show is a good way to see all kinds of other dolls. The event started at 11am, but tickets were being sold from 8am. In order to get a priority entry ticket and be allowed in first, you had to be there from 8...which is what I did, because I wanted to buy some stuff from Ronronshuka for a friend and since she’s so popular, her stuff disappears pretty quickly. The priority entry were tickets with random numbers on them which determined your place in the priority line - I think it was between 1-500, but it could have also been up to 900. (I forgot what I had, it was around 240 or so I think, so not bad)

Besides Jasper I’d also bought Mel’s headless body along, as I was meeting constellar (who was visiting Japan mainly for Dolpa) to get his head back with the new faceup. I will do a pic spam of him later, but he looked absolutely wonderful and I can’t get over it.

Here he is impatiently waiting in line. Anyway, Doll Show was comprised of 3 floors in the building it was in. The 7th floor had the ticket sales as well as Azone International’s booth (they do sales as well as unveil new products at Doll Show), while floors 5-6 were for the other dealers. The ‘fun’ part was they didnt want the lift going constantly up and down all morning so were discouraging anyone who didn’t actually need it to use it before 12 or so, meaning that we had to take the stairs to the 7th floor. I sure got some good exercise in this trip, anyway. What surprised me was that Azone hadn’t actually set anything up yet when we were all waiting in line - I assumed they’d do it the night before - but our position in line allowed us to watch them set up. (however, they put a barricade around the new doll displays so that no one could see them until the event started). I wondered if they’d get it done in time but they worked very quickly and it was kind of cool to see.

When it was finally time to go in, I headed straight to Ronronshuka. Even though I managed to get 18th or so in line for her stall, I still missed out on one of the things my friend asked for - luckily I got the rest. There was also a really beautiful DD dress set I wanted to get for myself which had also sold out. But it was also kind of pricey, and seeing as there was still Dollpa after this, I didn’t want to buy anything too expensive. Pics weren’t allowed until after 12 so here are some pics of Ronronsuka’s booth that I took later in the day. She honestly has the cutest displays and her custom DDs are the cutest I’ve ever seen.

The pink and white set the white-haired DD is wearing is what I wanted - I think it’d really suit Luka, but oh well.

Ronronsuka’s also come out with a line of her own wigs which look great and had me sorely tempted, but I don’t really have a use for any of them at this point. It was the first time I’d seen what Ronronshuka looks like, and she’s so glamorous! I wanted to tell her how much I love seeing her cats on instagram, but I got too starstruck. By the time I’d done my initial round of shopping and looked at everything it was past 12, so I started to take photos, starting with Azone on the 7th floor.  Their product displays for new and upcoming items:

It looks like they’re making another version of the new super poseable Pure Neemo body that has proportions closer to the original, which I’m glad of. The slight chunkiness of the original body was part of the entire charm of pure neemo, so the super skinny new bodies with the ugly joints don’t interest me at all.

Kikipop’s Hoekuchi versions are also coming! I have never been that interested in the Azone versions of Kikipop because my favourite of the resin ones have always been the Hoekuchi versions, and I told myself I’d only ever consider getting one if Azone finally made them. Looks like these ones are going to be really, really cute...;; We shall see! Anyway, the 50cm girls:

I wasnt really interested in showing off too many of the new products myself since other people do a better and more in-depth job. If you are interested in all the new Azone stuff shown (which is more than what I’ve shown) check Neemosi on twitter.

Now some miscellaneous photos from other dealers! Note: I did not take photos of every single dealer as it would have taken far too long - and I also only really took photos of stuff that interested me (so not many Blythes or Pullips for the most part despite how many there were, sorry). But you can see the full list of dealers here if you’re interested. They encompassed everything from Obitsu11cm and even smaller, to the 70cm+ dolls, and there was also some guy selling wigs for 1/1 dolls.

I really loved these little robot guys this guy was selling!

There was a vote going on here to decide what the next face of these Petworks dolls should be. I cant remember if I voted B or D.

I’m usually not a big fan of Angelphilia but the girl in the pink shirt has a real cute face.

Obitsu unveiled their new 45cm boy body and I like it a lot. The main thing I dont like about Obitsu bodies is the ugly knees, but they’ve gotten rid of that here. It’s very promising! 

Obitsus 1/6 girls are all very cute too. They have removable eyes and wigs, unlike pure neemos.

I quite like these carrying cases.

I wish I’d gotten Jasper some clothes from here too, but I’d already bought him clothes elsewhere and was trying to stay under budget.

The above two pics was a dealer selling eyes made from real gemstones. They were extremely expensive but also amazing. I couldnt really take any good photos of the eyes themselves, because my camera wouldnt focus on them properly and the lighting made them look different in the photos to IRL, which was annoying, but I tried. The dealer was wearing a waist-coat and looked like some kind of fantasy character.

The above two pics are from Good Smile Company’s booth there - they were showing off their new doll line, Harmonia Bloom. I honestly didn’t like these much at all when I first saw them online, but I think they do look better in person. However, I’m not really a fan of this kind of aesthetic. I had been hoping that they would be showing their new obitsu11-esque doll bodies/clothes for nendoroids that they showed at a previous WonderFest but unfortunately they weren’t. Still, it’s interesting that Good Smile are branching into dolls now.

I got a shirt from this booth! Although I kind of wish I’d gotten one of the short dresses to act as a shirt instead.

That condludes the dealers! Here’s what my booty for the day ended up being:

Two wigs (same style/colour, different sizes), clothes for Jasper, a shirt for Mel, heart sunglasses for Bri, shoes for Mel and also a new hat for Mel, because his current one had a really large brim that was annoying me. This hat was actually from the exact same dealer I bought that hat from last year, but the brim is a lot shorter. The next post will be the displays of the patrons dolls, which is always fun to see.

[bluebirdzykaysies]

5.14 - day before momma leaves

Goddamnit I hate to admit it but I’m already thinking and crying like a baby in my head once my mom leaves me to go back home to sf. the feeling is mutual like melissa said cause she’ll probably be just as a wreck and all this time I’ve been spending with her, I’m cherishing even more. I’ve never felt like this and Victoria said the same thing; expecting that while I transition. But everyone needs to experience this. I DO, especially. I need the time away for a bit to miss them and I already miss those interactions with my brothers too of just lounging in the living room watching NBA games all night, or youtube videos like its judyslife or ustheduo.

Our lives have changed already and itll be so hard as I am bawling my eyes out, sitting in my newly mounted dining table my mom and I put together, facing outwards my window with the Chicago sun, beaming through at a whopping 54 degrees.

This is my life now, I will be on my own and making decisions on my own. Ive told a few folks that I’m sad yet annoyed my moms time here was a bit much. But I know it was perfect for what it is. We’ve been tired each and everytime, her actions speak volumes and our conversations arent as deep as I want, but I know this quality time was one that will impact my life forever. Even though I hate to admit it or will say this to her face. i love my mom. so much, she means so much to me and my brothers. The amount of things she does unselfishly aka drive my freaking car with just her and hector for 5 days cross country. do what she did to make me help settle, there is no one like her. and I will forever appreciate her and love her.

She is opinionated and still felt like I couldnt decide for myself but this will be also a time where I speak up and use my voice. Saying NO.

ugh the tears keep falling down but some highlights from this past week were:

- Silly vlog videos that I actually may put together when I get the time

- 5/6; arrived - went to container store to buy my elfa shelving for my closet. Super nice lady that worked there Hector spoke to. Went to world market to check out their furniture and standing mirrors. TJ Maxx/HomeGoods and picked up some bathroom essentials, shower curtain, mats and beddings, Facetimed Yan/Ronz/Brent+Rick at night (10pm CST) 

Mom stayed with Hector at Courtyard Marriot til Saturday 5/8. So I wanted to stay at the apartment for the first time alone and enjoy the moment and soak it all in. Parking at my garage alone, randomly waking up to the SUNRISE at 545am and just being in awe of my new city... I could just cry

Didn’t get my wifi set up yet so the struggle was real a bit. The air mattress we got from costco has been tough to sleep on but eventually Ill get my mattress. Just have been torn with my furniture not being here since everything was rushed and happened so quickly. Learnings from the move thus far:

-Write a damn list, I DID NOT. Aka thats why a bunch of junk and unnecessary things were with my mom and hector in the car. All couldve been bought here. I ocouldve taken more clothes and shoes

-Alot of my clothes aka my favorite jean jacket and pink/mauve henley was left at home. My running shoes - I decided not to prioritize idk fucking why *rolls eyes* and alot of my other valuables. Brendan is nice enough to ship it. Its not worth to buy a RT flight and go there and take it all back with me... no. :( I would though tbh if I was in LA. lol make couple trips but I’m far enough that its like.... whewww is it worth but one day I will come back and visit. For now, its slated for Oct

5/7 Friday; I had it off started the day late at 12pm and booked my mom, hector and myself tickets to the skydeck. my mom was HILARIOUS, she was scared at first and thought it would be a huge platform to see under but once she saw its just a small piece of glass over 105 floors, it wasnt THAT bad. Her and hector are hilarious together and annoying a little LOL. but I guess they’re cute

Went to Wrigley Field while there was a game and that was an experience. Fans at the top of their houses, Security all over the block, streets closed, fans everywhere. Its such a historical building in the middle of a freaking neighborhood so it made itself unique vs att/oracle park being so secluded down in mission bay.

RPM Steak for dinner in River North. Valet’d the car and Hector treated us to a Missouri Steak? it was bomb though but I wanted Medium and he wanted medium rare... cream of spinach, mac and cheese, asparagus and for dessert topped with a Baked Alaskan. Whatever that is. (It was good) and my first time trying it.. me and mom. Our waitor was a nice lady in her 30s, gave me tori kelly vibes. Then another worker stopped by our table who looked filipino for sure (Rox’s ex Dennis look a like) but I already for got his name. He told us how he lived in West Town too and would eat at this bomb restaurant called “Uncle Mikes” maybe the ‘superstar’ of chicago :) hectors jokes were a bit much saying climbing up the coconut tree and asking if he can make halo halo in the back for dessert. No sir....

5/8 Saturday; Plan was to visit Macys downtown to check out furniture at around 930am. But they werent open til 11am. We checked out the Bean at Millenium Park and my mom got to see all the tulips and flowers. We waited in line for a while at Stans Donuts since Wildberry was just too WILD and packed, so we walked a block down and had ourselves some coffee and donuts for the day. After we headed to Macys and were greeted by a tall man name Hilary. he’s THEEE BEST. he knew we didnt have to buy anything from him at macys but he’s such a sales guy and has been in this business for so long that he kept tlaking about Quality of furniture and making yourself feel comfy and at home. Being in a small apt, or living out alone for the first time, separating each section once winter hits so you’re not bored out of your mind in the small place. He was so friendly and nice, I took his business card. Went to Ashley’s on the way to the airport and got gas. Feel in love with the small dinette table they had but the one I’m sitting on now I feel like is just perfect. Soletren couch will forever be out of stock and I will never let this go :( honestly dont know how itll fit in my door but i guess i will settle for something reasonable and decent in size

IVE BEEN SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY. . . . . . . I cant even. I got paid today so todays check will be sponsoring all of my credit card funds. Gna just pay it off in full so I dont have to deal with it. But going forward a budget will be set. and luckily some of the things I bought work can reimburse so I’ll do expenses sunday perhaps.

Saturday evening after dropping off hector, we did errands in the suburbs and went to a walmart. a bit ghetto lookin but its fine. Decided to go to costco after but had an incidentn with this white man who bumped my car and didnt apologize. I was going to say something but we’re so far out in the suburbs Idk what the hell he wouldve done to me. And if they’re racist out there. took the long way home and it was prob not through the safest neighbor hoods but my mom didnt have to know since traffic on the freeway was just ALOT. omg and the roads are just so bumpy, my poor car. Becca said she has a guy at a shop her family always goes to so hopefuully I wont need him but just nice to know the option is there.

Went to the costco up by roscoe village and bought food and more essentials like medicine i have a whole pharmacy.  again throughout all this, my mom is the MVP. I wouldve been like, Ill go get it when I need it vs mom stocking up beforehand. We ended up setting my living room with a japanese style seating using my elfa shelving as the table and a towel over it. Leftovers from RPM for dinner and ribs/salad from costco. (I keep eating, and we’re not walking alot so....... I’m def gaining wait and will need to lose this asap)

I’ll be back more to cover this past week; mothers day, ikea, seafood city, hanging with becca, azul mariscos, drunk at ross and dollar tree, pants falling (mom) unbuttoned pants cuz we’re so ‘stuffffffed’ hanging with the boys via facetime cause I do miss them :( I need to havea schedule with them.

kk toodles. time to go back to work. no more crying (maybe) then an architecture tour with my mom <3 and dinner at a steakhouse at MJ’s on Michigan Ave BYeeeee

[atombombbibunny]

Chocolate Geodes (Part 1?)

Summary:John drunk texts Alex.

Word Count: 1577

A/N: This is based on things that have actually happened to me… I’m like so unsure what to do haha. Also should I consider a part 2? I have ideas for it but like I dunno let me know.

Alexander was lazing on his couch, his girlfriend Jessica tucked under his arm, they were watching a random episode of Friends on Netflix, the night was slow, the rain was pattering outside their apartment building, things almost felt too perfect.

Alex felt his phone vibrate under his leg where he tucked it when Jessica leaned on him. He pulled it out from under him, John’s name brightly flashed on the screen, as he unlocked it, he noticed the time and knew it must have been late from where John was.

John moved two years back, it was only a few states away but the time zones were a few hours ahead.

John: 11:30pm

Hey :)

Alex smiled, it had been a few weeks since they last spoke.

Alex: 11:31pm

Hey, whats up?

“Who’s that?” Asked Jessica leaning over watching him text. “Oh its just John, we’re just catching up.” She nodded and relaxed on his arm.

John: 11:40pm

Not much, Laf is here… Hey I’m gunna b in town in a few days, was wundering if u wanted to hng.

Alex let out a light laugh as he scanned over the message once more.

John: 11:41pm

Also me and Laf hav been drinkin

Alexander rolled his eyes.

Alex: 11:42pm

Aha, I can tell. Sure thing I’d love to see you

Alexander and John had always been close, in high school everyone basically thought they were together with the amount of time they had spent together in between classes and outside of school.

But they didn’t care, they knew their friendship was unlike anyone elses. Though their sexuality was constantly joked about, they were both out John as gay and Alexander as Bi, it took Alex a long time to find someone that didn’t find his sexuality demeaning, and now he had that with Jessica, perfection.

But John and Alex continued their weird sexual jokes to each other, it was always harmless.

When John moved Alexander took him to the bus station to say goodbye, they had both kept their emotions intact, but as soon as it was time for him to leave they hugged and Alexander could feel John shaking and his tears soaking into his shirt. He lost it after that.

The buzz pulled Alex from his train of thought

John: 11:50pm

Hey,  I’m not tht bad. Cool, I’ll be in Satrday

Alexander chuckled and pushed his phone back under his leg assuming the conversation was over, but a few minutes went by and another buzz came from his leg, Alex assumed it would be some random gibberish, he was close.

John: 12am

HAVE U SEEN THE CHOCLATE GEODE1!?

Alexander let out a chuckle and responded quickly

Alex: 12am

No I haven’t

A second later he got a video sent his way of a giant chocolate ball that had candy crystals inside it, aka a chocolate geode.

Alexander got a sudden growl in his stomach as he finished the video.

Alex: 12:05am

OHMYGOD WE NEED IT

John: 12:06am

This is a thng we need in our livs.

Alexander had a smile glued to his face as the conversation continued, Jessica was dozing on his chest, he pulled her in closer as her eyes drifted.

Alex: 12:07am

yes

Yes

YES

John:12:07am

I cn only imagin how espensive it would be but… Worth it!1!

Alex: 12:08am

Yes! Just store it in a freezer and chip at it when you want some

John: 12:10am

So yum.

Alexanders lips curled into a smirk.

Alex: 12:11am

Like you ;)

John: 12:11am

;) Ctch me in bed bby

Alex: 12:11am

Damn boo ;) ;)

I think you’ve had enough wine tonight love.

John: 12:13am

Haha, I know

There was a silence, Alexander began to worry, did he push him too far, what should he say back to that? He hated forced small talk. The buzz in his hand cleared his worry.

John: 12:17am

But

I will tell u that i actualy had a total crush on you at one point haha :P

Alexanders breath hitched, he was nervous. They were always flirting like that, but this never came up. Alex had assumptions but never said anything.

Alex: 12:25am

Oh really?

Was John just drunk?

Was… was he being truthful?

Was it time truths came out…?

John: 12:26am

Whn we were in highschool.

Alex: 12:26am

What grade?

Alex would admit to himself that he wasn’t sure what he was going to say, he was just asking pointless questions till he knew what he would do.

John: 12:26am

Couldnt tell u. But I knw it would never happem.

Alexander paused and watched his phone…

Alex: 12:28am

Well. How do you know?

His chest hurt from his heart pounding so hard. Why was this freaking him out so much, he was just drunk.

John: 12:30am

Cuse we were too good of friends. Plus i think you were still perssuing Maria

Alexander mentally groaned, he remembered Maria, she was abusive towards him always bringing him down. They were constantly on and off in high school.

He remembered how crazy he was back then, thinking they would spend the rest of their lives together… in high school.

They never lasted more than a month when they got back together, and he could feel his friends loath them both when they would cuddle.

Alex: 12:33am

Ohh man. Fuck Maria. Biggest mistake of my life.

John: 12:34am

Ya. Whatta dick

Alexander stopped answering once more.

His high school life flooded back to him, all the times Laf and him got wasted and made out, and the next day it would mean nothing, they only did it for attention.

When Hercules and John dated and how horrible it hurt when they broke up, they eventually got over it and the group went back to normal.

The times they got bullied in school for being who they were by Charles and his gang of assholes.  

The times John would clean Alex up after he would stand up to them and get beat down.

The times John and him went shopping after school on mondays and thursdays just to avoid going home.

Alex sighed as he flipped through the messages they currently had.

He held his breath as he typed out his message

Alex: 12:40am

Well… I had a crush on you too.

John: 12:40am

Really? When?

Alex released his breath, his texts seemed less and less drunk. Was this all some trap? Was he getting some gossip on him?

The crush was back in high school. There was nothing there now.

Alex: 12:41am

Ehhh. It was weird. It was after you dated Herc.

But I thought it would have been too weird.

Jessica shifted from her snoozing position, “Mmm. I’m gunna go to bed.” she mumbled out.

Alexander nodded staring at his phone. Jessica waved in front of his face. “Hello?” She asked, he raised his head and gave her a gentle smile.

“I’ll join you in a bit.” Jessica snorted. “Have fun” she said as she moved towards the bedroom. “Night my love.” he shouted down the hallway. “See you soon.” she shouted back closing the door behind her.

John: 12:43am

Haha, i dont think it wouldve been weird.

But

I always feard the freidnship if we broke up.

Okay, so he was drunk for sure…

Alex: 12:43am

Yeah me too

Cause I love you so much.

Hey remember that time we hung out at Thomas’s place and we cuddled and I kissed the top of your head? I was like ‘this is super cute, but he’s totally into Thomas.’

Alex was nervous, was spouting too much information at once. He felt like he was the drunk one.

John: 12:44am

I love you too <3

Ever since we met in histry and u came up to me.

I totally remember thqat and I thought ther was somthin there…

I remember being supr jelaous that you used to make out with Laf and not me.

Alex: 12:44am

Hahhahahahahaha. Oh my god.

Noooooooo

John: 12:45am

What? Was it not good?

Alex: 12:45am

With Laf? Ehhhh, no.

John: 12:46am

Y!? I wnna no1 Hhaha

Alex: 12:46am

He would always shove his tongue down my throat, I mean we were drunk but still.

Wait

This won’t make things awkward on saturday right?

John: 12:47am

Npe, will it with u?

Alex: 12:47am

Of course not.

John: 12:50am

I couldve swrn u knew i had a crush on u.

Alex: 12:50am

I always had my suspicions but I never knew for sure

John: 12:50am

I should go to bed

Alex: 12:51am

Yeah, it must be at least 3am there.

John: 12:51am

close enugh.

Alexander got up and started heading to bed. This wouldn’t change anything. John will get up tomorrow and tell him it was a joke and Alex will agree, and everyone will move one.

Alex stood in the hallway. What was he so worried about, they were talking about past crushes, they no longer existed.

He crawled into bed beside a lightly snoring Jessica.

He flipped through his phone, rereading the messages to see if this was on big set up. Or joke.

Or something like they always do.

But it was nothing

John told him he HAD a crush Alex told him he also HAD a crush. Had, in the past.

Nothing more

Alexanders eyes began to close a his phone vibrated one more time in his hands.

John: 1:15am

I never thought that would come out. But it seemed appropriate.

[adventures-with-emma-blog]

Day 25: Bratislava, Slovakia I slept in until about 11am, again recovering from the Budapest hangover of the day before. My plan for the day was to go out and see the city of Bratislava having been told i could probably see most of it in one day. I didn't leave the house til about 12, once up spent the rest of the morning playing with the pug puppy Barty (who is absolutely adorable). Once out i realised just how cold it had got again, think it was around -2C. but i soldier on regardless, after a brief thought of turning back to get my thermals. I first wandered round the old town, and whilst having some pretty buildings not particularly much to do. I found the cathedral (St Martin's), only to realise I couldnt go inside as mass was on between 11am-1pm, so i went to find a cafe for a slice of cake and a cup of tea. Now the place I chose, i chose purely because of the sign outside, it made me laugh and drew me in. The cafe itself was lovely, it was called eleven11 and was full of books which you could read while enjoying your tea/coffee, and if you enjoyed you could buy them to take away with you. The was only one cake, i have no idea what flavour it was, i recognised the taste, it wasnt very sweet, but still pleasant ( just annoying me though that i cant put my finger on the flavour) and a cup of tea. Before wandering back down to the cathedral to have a look inside. It was pretty, but not the most ornate cathedral ive ever seen, not very big either, but worth a wee look. I then headed down to the bus station under UFO bridge, where after looking confused at a ticket machine for a while, figured it out, bought a bus ticket and go on the 29 to Devin Castle, situated just outside Bratislava. A quite impressive ruined castle, perched upon a rocky cliff next to the Danube. Once getting there it was even colder than in the city, my chin went completely numb, so i walked pretty briskly to try and keep myself a bit warmer. The castle itself was pretty big and the surroundings would have been very nice, had it not be so foggy that i could barely see the hills around! I was a little disappointed that the most exciting looking and highest up bit of the castle was closed off, they appeared to be doing some work on it. but i walked around the rest before heading back to catch the bus around an hour later. Upon arrival back in the city, i decided to head up the hill to see the castle in the city centre, by this point i could barely see the castle even when i was standing directly infront of it! and my views of the city from the viewpoint were absolutely dire. So freezing cold and unable to see anything i headed back to the house for a bit. Oven pizza and chips for dinner, a classic, and actually exactly what i felt like, really hit the spot. We went back out again in the evening to join the work collegues I had met the night before to see Trainspotting 2, this was its first night of being shown in this part of Europe, I certainly waited long enough, everyone i know saw it 3 weeks ago! I wont talk about it too much on here but i thought it was great, really enjoyed it!

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Home - Part 5

It had been a couple of weeks since Jack had turned up out of the blue, i had stayed with Bucky and the kids for a week while Bucky had a restraining order sorted out. I was back home now but not before Bucky had arranged for a state of the art security system for the house (which Steve came round to install), i had tried to tell him a standard alarm system would be fine but he insisted that i had this one.....I would even get alerts on my phone if anyone was detected approaching the property.

It had definitely put my mind at ease about being home alone.

Thursday night i was at the Barnes residence later than expected, Bucky had been held up on a case he was working. Allie had been unusually quiet tonight, every time i asked if she was okay she just nodded and after dinner she took herself up to bed.

It was nearing midnight when Bucky finally got home, i had been asleep in the armchair with the chunky blanket over me but woke up hearing the front door close. Bucky walked in looking exhausted but still gave me a smile when he locked eyes with me.

"Hey doll, I'm sorry its so late. You didn't have to wait up you should have gone to bed"

"I was going to but i wanted to talk to you about Allie" i told him rubbing my eyes trying to wake up.

"She okay?" He asked looking worried, i nodded quickly as he sat on the table in front of the armchair i was in.

"She's just not been herself since i picked them up from school. She's been so quiet all evening Bucky and thats just not like her..... she had dinner then took herself to bed. I tried asking if she was okay and all i got was a nod"

"That does sound odd for Allie, i'll talk to her in the morning"

"Okay, well i'll just do their lunches then I'm gonna turn in for night" i said throwing the blanket off and getting up.

"I'll help you with that, get it done quicker".

I made the sandwiches while Bucky grabbed the fruit packs and juice boxes.

He zipped up the lunch bags after adding the sandwiches i made and put them into the girls school bags. I was wiping down the side when i heard Bucky mumble "shit" under his breath.

"Everything okay?"

"I think i know whats got Allie acting like she is..." he said handing me a sheet of paper from Allie's bag.

'Mother Daughter Picnic' was written at the top of the page signed by Ms Harper for tomorrow!

"Is this a yearly thing?"

"No, they've never had one of these before"

"This woman is crazy! She doing this because you turned her down?"

"I have no idea" he run a hand through his hair "i'll just keep Allie home from school if you dont mind having her?"

"I dont mind at all Bucky you know that. Or i could go with Allie?" I shrugged, this woman was really pissing me off!

"You'd do that?"

"Of course! Ms Harper already thinks we're married so why not" i chuckled rolling my eyes "i dont want her thinking she's got one over on you either"

"Im sure Allie would love having you there with her Y/N" Bucky smiled.

"Do you think Steve could watch Rosie while i do the picnic with Allie?"

"Yeah not a problem, i'll call him in the morning get him to swing by"

"Sounds good, well I'm gonna go get some sleep...good night Buck" i smiled before turning to head up to my room, he grabbed my hand stopping me as i passed him and pulled me in for a hug.

"Thank you doll, you dont know how much this means to us. Your amazing" he kissed the top of my head and took a step back "goodnight Y/N"

"Goodnight" i replied quickly feeling my cheeks burn and went up to my room before he had a chance to see the effect he had on me!

"Allie, baby i saw a letter in your bag about a Mother Daughter picnic at school today" Bucky said at breakfast the next day, she nodded sadly not looking at any of us.

"What would you say if Y/N went with you?"

She looked up with wide eyes at me then Bucky "really?"

"If thats okay with you sweetheart, i'd love to come to a picnic with you" i smiled at her, she broke out in a huge smile climbing down from her chair and running over to me.

"Thank you Y/N" she squeezed me tightly back to the happy Allie we were used to.

She leaned back and placed her little hands either side of my face and smiled "I love you!"

If it was possible my heart would have melted right there!

"Awww Allie! I love you too sweetheart" i smiled at her.

"I love you too Y/N!" Brooke added not wanting to be left out, i chuckled before smiling over at her.

"I love you too Brooklyn James, i love you all"

I caught Bucky smiling at his girls then at me, i quickly returned his smile.

"Okay, i gotta go my girls" he got up pulling on his suit jacket "Steve will be here at 11am to watch Rosie"

"Great"

"How about i swing by the school and pick you girls up today?" Bucky suddenly added like it was the best idea he'd ever had.

"You having a early day?" I asked sounding surprised.

"Yeah, i'll be there to pick you and the girls up" he smiled kissing Rosie and Brooke on the head then coming over to where Allie was still in my lap to kiss her, he surprised me when he kissed my head too.

"See you girls later, love you" he called leaving the dining room, and with that he was gone.

"Okay, lets get you guys to school".

Steve was at the house at 11am as promised, i didn't have to be at the school til 12 so we sat and had a coffee and a chat while we waited. When i told Steve id have to walk to the school because Bucky had insisted on picking us up afterwards, he offered to drop me there instead saying he didn't want me wandering alone.

"So, Mother daughter picnics huh?" Steve said teasingly and wriggling his eyebrows as he drove me to the school.

"Yep looks like it" i nodded " i love the girls, id do anything for them.... even going to mother daughter picnics organised by bitter old bitches"

"Ms Harper definitely fits the bitter old bitch title" Steve laughed "she's liked Buck since high school! You'd think she'd get over him already.... i mean his not even that great" He rolled his eyes playfully making me laugh.

"Thats a lie and you know it, your both great guys"

"Aw thanks Y/N!"

"Shut up Steve, dont make me take it back"

"Oh no you can't take it back now"

"Fine!"

"But in all seriousness, you and Bucky seem to be getting along well...."

"Yeah of course, it'd be kinda awkward if we didn't being as I'm there with kids all day" i scoffed.

"Seems like a little more than a work relationship though"

"Well its not" i shook my head looking to Steve "do you think im sleeping with him or something?"

"No! no of course not..... are you? I mean it'd be totally okay of you were..."

"Im not! God Steve...." i huffed as he pulled up out the front of the school "i can't believe you would ask me that"

"Why? Its not such a crazy thought! I think your good together, and i haven't seen him this happy in a very long time....I think a lot of that has to do with you"

"Your crazy!"

"Tell me you dont have feelings for him then..."

"Shut up Steve" i threw the door open "im late now! Thanks!" I turned to check on Rosie she was still fast asleep in the back seat "dont be bringing this shit up to Bucky!" I closed the door and marched into the school.

I followed the signs for the picnic around the outside of the building that then led onto the playing field where benches had been set out. All the benches were filled with moms and smiling little girls, then i spotted Allie standing on her own away from everyone with Ms Harper! I jogged over only to hear Ms Harper make a comment to Allie about having no mom and that she shouldn't here at the picnic!!

I saw red!! The anger was raging through me, but i knew i couldnt make a scene here infront of everyone.

"Allie!" I called to her so she knew i was there and hadnt let her down! Her little face lit up and she flew into my arms.

"Im so sorry I'm late babe, you can blame Uncle Steve for driving like an old woman" i smiled at her before turning to look at Ms Harper.

"Ms Harper, id like to say its nice to see you again but i dont like to lie infront of my kids" i felt some semblance of pleasure from the worried look on the womans face.

"Allie why dont you go find us a seat, i'll be right there"

"Okay" she said happily running off towards the benches. Once she was far enough away i turned my attention to Ms Harper.

"I heard what you said to Allie you spiteful bitch! I get your not happy that Bucky isn't interested in you but guess what? You dont always get what you want!! And you cannot say that shit to a five year old!"

"I was only telling her the truth! Her moms dead! Why should she be here?"

"Shes got a mom you stupid fuck! Im her mom got it??! I already warned you about messing with my kid.... your lucky theres people here because god help me you would be on your fucking ass by now if they weren't!"

I turned to go find Allie but stopped to look back at Ms Harper "oh and you should probably start looking for a new job, I'm not letting this go and I'm sure my husband wont either when i tell him the vile shit coming out of your mouth"

"But i....." she started to say with wide eyes.

"Have a good afternoon Ms Harper" i called back in an over the top happy voice as i approached the benches and found Allie.

The picnic was lovely, we were sat with some of Allie's friends and their moms who Allie introduced as Josie and her mom Kylie, Emma and her mom Rachel and then Nell and her mom Nessa.

They were all lovely and very welcoming, the afternoon flew by and playdates were arranged, I'm sure Bucky would love that!

2:45 came around and the picnic was over, i took Allie's hand and we made our way out front to wait for Bucky. To our surprise he was already outside waiting for us leaning against the side of his car, he greeted us both with a smile.

"Hey girls"

"Hey yourself" i smiled at him as he scooped Allie up into one arm and draped the other over my shoulders placing a kiss on the side of my head.

"How'd it go?"

"It was so much fun daddy! Y/N met my friends!" Allie told him sounding so happy at how the afternoon went.

"She did?" He asked matching her tone and smiling. I spotted Ms Harper hovering over near the gates looking towards us and frowned.

"You okay doll? You look like your ready to murder someone" Bucky asked as his arm slipped down to wrap around my waist.

"Maybe because i am! I need to talk to you about Ms Harper....."

"Okay" he nodded then turned to strap Allie into her booster seat while we waited for Brooke to come out. Once he was done he closed the car door and turned me to face him so i had my back to Ms Harper the super bitch!! He held one hand against the side of my face making me look up at him, it would look pretty intimate to anyone watching and that was the whole point.... right?

"What happened?" He asked calmly and i couldn't help but wonder how long he'd keep that calm look about him once i told him what she had said.

"I was a little late getting here because Steve was driving like an old woman..." i started to say, i wasn't about to tell Bucky i was late because Steve was questioning mine and Bucky's relationship!

"When i got here Ms Harper was standing away from the picnic with Allie.... as i got closer i heard her telling Allie she shouldn't be at the picnic because she doesn't have a mom!" I closed my eyes trying to fight back the anger once again "how could someone say that Buck!"

I could feel the anger vibrating through Bucky but he just pulled me into his arms, my arms wrapping around his waist.

"I think we should report her Bucky, she cant get away with saying these things to Allie!"

"I agree doll, this has to stop. I'll make an appointment to see the principal”

"I can come with you if you want? Tell him what I've heard her say..."

"Yeah okay, id like that"

"I should tell you now, i threatened to knock her on her ass.... i kinda lost my shit with her" i admitted and Bucky just chuckled dropping his head to my shoulder.

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@abbylizy

[pegasus-ghost]

So, I'm stressed out.

Again. Yeah.

Just realized that I only write shit in here whenever I am stressed.

Work stuff. Nothing else going in my life except work. So much projects to do with so little time. And I lack of knowledge to do the shit and I feel so fucking bad for being incompetent.

I mean yeah I learned like A LOT comparing to when I first joined the company and my title isn't even that high in the company. I can't even imagine how other people in the company with the same level as me would solve half the shit I solved alone. Most of the time I really took my time understanding the system and figuring that shit out like a puzzle. Takes a HELL LOT OF TIME but I eventually figure it out.

So okay. So I got that out of the system.

So I was stuck in a call with my boss and the CPO talking about these projects for almost 4 fucking hours. Bro. That's like HALF your fucking office work day gone. I have a lot of shit to get done at work and half my day was gone listening to the stupid call.

During lunch time, my colleagues asked me out for lunch so I joined them. Still had that residue of stress. Plus with the company not doing so well due to budget issue.

So my two colleagues were talking during lunch while we wait for our food to arrive. They were complaining about managers at work and shit. I listened. Being the silent, reserved type I am, I always listened.

But suddenly one of my colleague was like...

"Bro. Look at Zach. What's up with him?"

And I snapped, "What, why?"

And he said, "You were zoning out like crazy. Just staring into the distance. You're really stressed huh?"

No fucking shit, mate. I am stressed. Projects are chaos right now and I JUST GOT OUT OF A 4 HOUR STRESS CALL.

didn't realize I was kinda zoning out until he told me and I snapped back into consciousness, although I do listen and hear all the complains and noises in the background. I just zoned out.

I told myself yesterday that today was gonna be a good day, because yesterday was a really bad day for me. Let me tell you what happened, which I still find so hard to fucking believe.

It was suddenly raining so fucking heavily when it didn't rain before for days

Hungry af after work, realized that there was SEVERE TRAFFIC JAM OTW TO MY HOME AS SOON AS I GOT TO MY CAR

Oh well. Drove to the shop lot like right across the street. Went to get bubble tea. BROWN SUGAR WAS FINISHED AND IT WAS ONLY 5PM

Walked to the restaurant next to the stall to eat my favourite local food. THE FOOD WAS NOT AVAILABLE

Walked to the pizza store next to it. STORE WAS FUCKING CLOSED AT 5PM ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

I thought, fuck this. I'm gonna order in. Drove out. Got stuck in a traffic jam for 30 mins.

Reached home. Ordered food. WAITED FOR AN HOUR HUNGRILY. FOOD NEVER CAME BUT THE APP SAYS DELIVERED. FUCK YOU. I ALREADY PAID WITH MY CARD SO WHERES MY FUCKING FOOD ASSHOLE THE RESTAURANT I ORDERED FROM IS LITERALLY JUST DOWNSTAIRS! WONT EVEN TAKE 15 MINS TO PREPARE MY FOOD AND I HAVE TO WAIT FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR FOR IT NOT TO BE DELIVERED AND FOR YOU TO STEAL MY MONEY?! FUCK YOU.

I went down to the same restaurant I ordered from and ordered my food. After I was almost done with the food, I realized it was not fully cooked. FUCK THIS.

And I have to attend a conference call at 11AM WHEN I WAS ALREADY SO DONE WITH THE DAY

Yeah. That was my day yesterday. I can't believe the luck I had yesterday was that bad.

And I hyped myself yesterday, don't worry Zach, tomorrow's gonna be a good day.

Well fuck me.

Today's a more stressful day.

So yeah. I was zoning out. And it actually felt good. Not doing anything. Just zoning out. It felt PEACEFUL.

and my colleague told me that I zoned out twice during lunch even after they tried pulling me back into the conversation.

Also another thing I want to vent.

I have been so fucking stressful these few days regarding the project. I need to get a LOT of shit done. And I am not a talker, I am quiet at work and everywhere I go so it's usually easy for me to be fully productive at work for straight 8 hours.

But this motherfucker.

Usually I don't mind him yapping his mouth out complaining about the employees he needs to manage. But not these recent days. These days I am so fucking stressed with needing to get a lot of shit done you have no fucking idea.

So much pressure with so many shit at stake.

And that guy YAPS AND YAPS AND YAPS.

Of course when someone is complaining, you have to be a good listener and respond back to whatever he is complaining.

HE COULDNT FUCKING STOP

YOU PIECE OF SHIT, I NEED TO GET MY WORK DONE SO STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE STOP YAPPING!!!

That was how I felt at the time. I feel like screaming at him telling him to SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME FOCUS ON MY GOD DAMN WORK!

But no.... I have to be a respectful person. Can't ruin my image can I? So I swallow it and bear the absolute stress or listening to his fucking complaints and smile and laugh and respond politely.

And to add on that stress, all these time, my colleague from Australia NEVER asked me to set up his candidate interviews. He would always do it himself because he rather do it himself, although it's my job. But fine I don't mind. Less shit to worry about.

But I don't know what got into him recently.

He sent ALL THESE STUPID INTERVIEWS REQUEST FOR HIS CANDIDATES TO ME.

WHILE I AM BUSY DROWNING MYSELF IN STRESSFUL PROJECTS

MOTHERFUCKER WHY YOU DECIDE TO FUCK UP MY WORK LOAD NOW?! WHY NOT A MONTH AGO OR LAST FUCKING YEAR?! WHY NOW WHEN I AM ALREADY STRESSED WITH MY PROJECTS?!

I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow. I hope it's not gonna be another bad or stressful day. I don't have any conference call planned. And tomorrow is Friday. Should be good.

No. I shouldn't jinx it. Ok goodnight.

[kyandice]

CANDICE EDIT THIS UGLY SHIT WHEN U HAVE THE FUCKING TIME

this is an ugly unedited one it has been in my drafts for like 2 months already. so whatever i just posting it. ill edit it if i have the time. thins is is i actually edited half way and MY FUCKING COMPUTER FUCKING CRASHED SO I GAVE UP  and yeahhh ill just post this ugly unedited one and ill edit it again WITH PROPER ENGLISH WHEN I HAVE THE TIME. idk i just cqnt see stuff in my drafts i just havre to post it and yewah wtf.

this unedu=ited stuff is just me writing key poiunts about my day and not like urghhhhhhh i hate this commmmmm. normally i would describe more but i dont want it in my drafts anymore so ill edit it when im free OKAYYYY.

1/3 

Hahahahahah lmao this was the date when i got tgt with K 3 years ago.(omg i still rmb, but tbh its nth special i just rmb useless stuff pretty well)  Never wanted to date a guy again even i with crushes back in sec sch. but anyways, today i went to Sentosa w/ B and he seemed to really like the artificial fiels alot but it was like in the afternoon so it was still kinda hot and yeahhhh. Like it would be much nicer at night. There will be like alot of stars and fireworks too and it will be more windy and cooling idk but it will be nicer at night and i want to spend the night w/ B there again. Oh yeah anyways ystd B bought me the batgirl lego keychain and B told me that batgirl had sex with batman and im shoooked.

2/3 and like today we planned to go to his house anddd then go to parkway parade to some lego secret chambers shop. i went out early cuz my junior wanted to pass me her lego characs but she couldnt make it so i was alr at bishan so i just went to tpy and wait for bryan o wake and meet me so i called him at 11am but he woke up and shouted at me so i just like nvmmmm so i went to the library and went window shopping around tpy and i also went popular 1pm i didnt want to call him up but i was like ugh nvm and called him.. and yay he finaally woke up wna read tuesday with morrie, all the fifty shades of grey and in grey's pov n miss peregrine's home for peculiar children but we still went to parkway parade anyays and he asked me to watch letters from iwo jima so i watched it at night and bryan wanted to watch the breakup list on toggle but it kept playing ads and it just wouldnt play the video so b got alittle pissed 3/3 logan, training (our 8th movie)

4/3 finishing crocheting my first thinggg the bear thing shoud i give it to bryan would he want it so today b was vvvv kinda excited this video thing with ck and cez and im like vvv happy for him cuz he can do smthing he rlly likes with cool n funny ffriends. also he said that he didnt want us to go public at first cuz he was afraid that ppl might tease us he said he was afraid i might be ffrustrated but tbh i was hella frustaratred i dont see the point of hiding our rship but im glad werre like opene now and so at night i went to ikea and b messaged me but i was busyt walking and i didnt recieve his msg but i didnt like lock my phone so it was read. but like it was in my pockets and like my mom doesnt allow me to play my phine whenever im walking but yeah anyways b was angry hat i didnt reply him. we sorta quarreled awhile but we were kinda okay after that i guess. wtf sia today midnight i have to distribute stuff to the homeless ppl in bugis and i was wearing a short paanyts and my mom tied this weird looking scarf i swear i look like some carzy hobo youngster wtf.

5&6/3 sneaked out of house, slept over at his house and after that i went to tpy first while he showers, ate and went home early to pack for camp stuff wna stay over at his house again it was fun we tried to watch moanna but was kinda sleepy

7/3 day 1 of camp. slept with b outised tgt

8/3 day 2 of camp (-met javier and sihui -every camps i go i get very angry -shoulder, water balloon) larn cpr and aed the skit thing worst grp ever

9/3 day 3 of camp water activities we won

10/3 tkd training

11/3

-wtf nxt week go msia (wanted to go work) -quarreled with bteh. cuz i cant go out but he wants me to go out -yyour suffering defines you without it yore a void -japan and korea with bryan -my parents -i want more lego charac -money - i cant wait for tmr for ilighhtsss i want to take like alooot pictures tgt with bryannnn styled hair -nicole choo idk why im still so insecure like i know pretty clearly that im decent looking. decent looking enough to make friends, have a job and not get ostracised in society. and well if you arent good looking enough you'll be made fun off/ostracised in society and thats how humans work. and now everywhere you see are pretty girls and how can any girls feel not insecure. Okay, i have a flat and fat nose. i want to have a sharper and thinner nose like michelle. i have pretty small boobs and i want boobs like naomi. my shoulders are too wide from playing softball, i want a smaller width shoulders like grace. my tummy isnt flat i want a flat tummy. and thing is those are pretty famous girls in like sg and im not even talking abt kim kard or emma wats or like jennifer lawr. omg i dont even know where im going with this im just literally typing all my thoughts down. okay and the boys here???? they all follow those people and im pretty sure they compare them over the normal girls in sch. omg what am i even talking abt. i feel silly even typing this out. but okay if your beauty standards doesnt reach like the norm in society you srsly wouldnt have friends. unless youre realllll rich or your sense of humor is rlly rlly great.

12/3 didnt quarrel but we  were obv upset with each other it was a fun day tho when to see i lights took alot pictures ate llaollao no money

20/3 best s ever went home after it bteh gg aunts house today

his flight will be tmr 21/22 job interview got the job bryaan in flight abt cosplay how i dont have frinds

25/03 bryan found my private twitter accnt                                    bteh tole me abt a girl he liked when he was in korea idk if anyone realised but ive got a really really really bad habit. its weird really. but its a thing ive been doing since young and i never talked to anyone about it before. so actually, when im nervous, or stressed out, or just couldnt take my mind off smthing, i would like start peeling or plucking my nails. okay many people do this but, i ahve a weirder one andddd omg i think i will regret saying this. So actually, i pluck i my hair when im nervous, stressed out or just thinking abt smthing i cant ignore. so back in primary 4 i was doing this math practice paper and i couldnt do any those 6marks big problem sums and i was fking stressed out. and well my habit of plucking my own hair started really really young. and at P4 my mom saw me crying

26 toc competition firdst fight win second fight lose how i dont wna fight nationals cuz my weight cat all got national player lose my chance to win gold cant even get silver r came today

29/ power rangers

30 wanted to go coney island with rapheal and jill and bryan but it rained so we went to lan and gamed without jill bryan pushed me and i banged into someone in the end see museums some forest thing the ligths vvv pretyy

28/hotel

31/ hotel went to work after that talk about work made bryan that key chain clp diner and dance

1/4 learn bst bts for club crawl played boomberang didnt workkk aot is out!!!!!!

2/4 today i need to go mountbatten cc to practice my poomsae my poomsae lousy i dont think i can pass at first try anyways president of stf is milan quey idk if i spelt his name properly but yeah. before that ate yellow sub with B will nvr eat there again portion is small yet expensive and food isint so nice at all but since i get to eat with b im vvvv gladdd

3/4 today i went early to B's house. after that met up with madeline and shirlyn to watch boss baby and the movie was quite nice i thought i wouldnt like it and then we ate pepper lunch and omg osaka is a vvv small place like shirlyn went evrywhere i visited like a a year ago

4/4 AND I WOKE UP WITH BTEH lose his doibok and he couldnt find it my maid threathened to take a mail for my mom cuz she lazy walk and she wants me to do it but i was late

5/4 there was demo training we played table tennis for awhile and bteh is good at it, ok maybe its just that i suck at it but yea theres was fmo so we slacked at tg until demo tng started so at night he said hes tired but idk that he wanted to sleep soon and he was like stop it and i was like stop wat but he ttly just shut me off and then i got pissed cuz i would nvr do that to him

6/4 i had to meet herman but like after meeting him timetable i realised i forget to bring my wallet somethimes im torn in beteen like just not gg out with bteh cuz i have no money to eat or spend his money again he keeps saying its okay but its really not okay im just not comfortable like someone spending so much on me i owe money so he told me his specs broke ttly

One of the things dreams do for us is prepare us for worse case scenario. The dream that is closest to reality about a loved one leaving us prepares the mind for the pain that can be inflicted upon us. It creates a probability. That means it could happen, it means it’s a fear you have, and being such your mind protects your psyche in a way to allow you to feel the emotions of the event, even though the event never occurred.

13 reasons why felt like  th main charac like back in sec sch all i wanted was just to finish my olevels and go to poly so i can be a whole new person. someone who i wanted to be withouht anyone laughing at me

1au away from sol 1au measurement unit like light or smthing sol is latin from sun porbbaly it

[fsfantasy95]

Taiwan February 2017

Hi is it I’m going to post something about brent again. My tumblr has nothing left but my obsession with that guy HAHAHA. Waiting for the day I walk out to something or someone better ;)

But meanwhile i’m glad this time in taipei didn’t end in such a shit way like last time (screw you asshole woman). Anyway I took 3.5 days leave because I really wanted a holiday on top of the events - which was a good choice because I escaped a really huge debris-clearing operation at Pulau Ubin. Planned to drop by Hsinchu to eat the hsinchu beehoon & visit NTHU but ya changed my mind at the airport because i couldnt imagine myself lugging the 7kg backpack AND a 3kg DSLR lens throughout so i decided to make my way directly to Changhua where my accommodation was. Found lockers at taoyuan station so I walked around a bit and ate beef noodles in an attempt to feed myself well during the trip (end up I still survived on convenience stores after that). It was then to my horror that there were no seats left on the southbound train so I had to stand throughout the 2hours journey....self reminder to book early next time.

Already dark when I reached Changhua and I went to dump my barangs at the hostel. I don’t like winters because it turns dark so early and I feel like the days are all shortened urgh. I was on budget as usual so I got a dormitory and everyone else had already checked in leaving me with the highest bunk in which I had difficulty getting my things up........... I ate the Pesto sauce spaghetti from 7-11 for dinner and shopped my whole night away at Guangnan. Oh yeah not forgetting me trying to order iced milk tea without ice. Went back to hostel early cos there was absolutely nothing to do in that ulu town (I am visiting only because it is one of the few towns left which I haven’t been to) and I hid at my top bunk scrolling my phone (tindering) while the dorm mates who were kids chirped away about their upcoming art exam. I totally couldn’t blend but no one gave a shit.

Day 2 I left the dorm at 10+am because I was waiting for all the mates to leave first in order to minimize interaction. Yes I am socially awkward af. Well I still had ample time to visit the few attractions at changhua, okay actually I only planned to visit the fan-shaped train garage & the eight trigrams mountain. Got to the foot of the mountain via U-bike, cycling like the roads were my grandfather’s and I climbed the shit up expecting a nice view which I didn’t get. Basically no shit there it was like a place for the retired to chill but I was quite fascinated by the beware of tree branches signs. The fan-shaped garage was much more touristy, not too bad.

Took a train up to taichung then and had to transfer a few buses to my accom near fengjia because the bus frequencies were so abnormal. One thing I like about being in taichung is that the bus trips are almost always free hehe. Anyway I really liked my accomm here cos it’s those capsule rooms and it is perfect for socially awkward individuals like laoniang me. Went to dimdimsum’s taichung branch (actually I don’t know why I still go there because I already have nothing left with the boss) and ordered boluo baos which I waited until I grew mould for. I was honestly quite annoyed because I had to rush to the other venue for xiaoyu’s musical. Haha I really enjoyed it because I just chilled at the last row of the cheapest section drinking my heated can of maixiang. Felt a tinge of regret over the poor seat location cos I couldnt see the stage clearly when Yu made his appearance in ONLY boxers. He was probably the least professional out of the rest but it was good enough I guess. After that I went back to fengjia night market, ate my frozen banana which got me shivering, one chicken roll and a cup of red bean milk. I think the night market is starting to lose its appeal to me hmmms. Walked back along the cold deserted streets and I was actually scared for a while because I suddenly recalled the incident in which the little girl’s head got chopped off ._. 

Saturday - I really didn’t want to leave the capsule but I did and made my way up to Taipei. Bloody bus frequencies didnt match so I had to walk a distance to chaoma station with my barangs ._. kns. And my neck was aching terribly on the bus I couldn’t sleep. Met Mans at bannan line starbucks and she was exclaiming about a random guy sitting opposite who looked like po-chen LOL wtf. I swear I have a phobia of crowds and the book fair was the epitome of it gtfo people. Lol the event was damn stupid we just watched people going on stage to take photos. And we realised we kinda overestimated the abilities of our DSLR lens from this. Also I have to mention that I was very suay because we were rotting away at the entrance for so long and during that short 5 minutes I left for the toilet to clear my contacts from my watering eyes the boys arrived and I missed it all hahahaha congratulations to myself.

There were so many people queueing at Miramar that night already -.- the extent of overnight queueing in TW is so much worse than SG’s. I might consider doing this few years back, but at my age now I don’t fancy sacrificing my sleep shivering in the cold. I fancy a soft bed with warm covers and plenty of rest ;) went to shihlin to get food and there were firecrackers everywhere AND the horrific weekend crowds. Oh right I forgot to describe how we couldnt access our accomm at XMD because there was the TW version of chingay going on and the roads were all blocked and the places were all jammed with people ARGH thus we had to loop a really huge circle to get back.

Anyway the big day and I was tasked with buying all the books since my bias wasnt gonna be at the airport. It was an APOCALYPSE when the mall doors opened at 11am. Should be quite a sight, probably something like train from busan. Anyway skip all the complications and we got the books. Actually don’t even need to queue since there were leftovers. We just cut into some random row before the event started and it wasnt too bad, got a pretty acceptable view with the stools, albeit slightly too at the side. Which actually isnt a bad thing because you can be more certain the 鏡頭照s are yours and not mistaken from some other fan similarly concentrated in the middle of the sardine can. Ok I seldom praise him (from the bottom of my heart, I always tell lies when I post on fansite HAHA sorry) but he really looks good in the suit *v* I am damn sorry I was lost for words and didnt reply appropriately when he asked if I looked forward to his china show HAHAHAHA my true self revealed. but i really might just not watch it lolzers. didn’t say much despite going up stage 2 times but its ok i’m decently satisfied that he still recognises this poor lupsup overseas fan and looked genuinely happy on stage, thanks <3 好久不見了我也開心謝謝你

That was one whole day gone and the books were heavy AF no kidding. I enjoyed some solitude with my beer that night and wtf i actually woke up early enough to make it to the airport. If not for the possibility of mj flying and xj coming back i’d be sleeping until check-out time TT and turns out he didnt fly but i had fun being a paparazzi. Haha back to town to do some last minute buys and eat DDX - met ahwei there and I admit i was quite excited but... he has a wife now and that changes things hmm. Then back to airport again for our own flight, didn’t get to see jaydaone and exceeded flight baggage weight tmd. Just wanted to get home because i had to work tomorrow. **** working life . I need another holiday again. Till next time.

Miss you my boy HAHA wtf gonna be single forever at this rate