#but it'll definitely screw with my relationship with my family

[featheredomen]

and here we have me reaching rock bottom. finally acknowledging that I am an adult who is too anxious and agoraphobic to support myself and now I have to move back with my parents because I am terrible at being a functioning human. hilariously, I am ending my twenties the exact same way I started them. broke, jobless, living with my parents, and too anxious to function.

[cluescorner]

I gave myself a writing challenge and I am fascinated by it

So basically I put the robins in a randomizer to give them a new order/role (because I just...kinda wanted to see what would happen + I like role-reversal AUs) and got results that are giving me a fucking brain blast.

Stephanie, the first sidekick who defines the role

Tim, the sidekick who dies and comes back wrong

Dick, the sidekick who saves Batman from himself

Damian, the sidekick who was never supposed to be a sidekick but would go on to prove everyone wrong

Jason, the youngest sidekick who is still the Kid Wonder

...So this is fucking wild. I've got some ideas and several of these fit perfectly (Dick's role is pretty similar to his one in canon), but some of these are fucking INCREDIBLE to explore (Steph being the first Robin is something I never even considered but tbh I kinda love it).

I probably won't write a fic or anything because tbh I don't like publishing my writing that much, but I might expand this into a full AU and post about it. I might randomize other stuff too (ie, stuff that I cannot change vs stuff that I cannot keep the same) but this fucking rules as a starting point.

[dcmatchups]

Preferences: Matched with a male hero, specifically from the Bat Family.

Name: Kitain

Hobbies: Making art, playing video games, and bonding with wildlife

Likes: Walking/being in nature, swimming, chicken alfredo, sushi, reading stuff online (headcanons, drabbles, ect), listening to music, watching crime documentaries, giving or given gentle affection with those I trust, and squirrels

Dislikes: Heights, sun burns, people, loud noises, insects, arguments, manipulation, betrayal, teasing (specifically the degrading type of teasing), being pushed away by someone I am concerned for and care about

Extra info: People have put me through a lot of bad stuff and it has caused me to be more reclusive, aloof, and nervous towards new people. I have really bad anxiety about doing the smallest thing wrong. However, when I have someone who has befriended me, I am very open, protective, and I become a jokester since I feel safe to show my true self. I never had a good relationship before so I'm always nervous with romance, despite enjoying reading it as a genre. Things I'm looking for in a relationship is gentle affection, optimism, empathy, honesty, communication, and the will to listen. - Okay, so lemme explain why I love squirrels. I had a wild one who originally came to my father all the time but she then grew fond of me. The squirrel, it was a female and I named her Hot Chocolate, and I grew very close and she trusted me enough to sit in my lap and eat peanuts from my hand. She would wait on the porch or in the yard for me to come home and I would grab some nuts and sit with her for 2-3 hours every day. Then I find out she's pregnant because she came to me and she was very thin when she used to be very round. Despite caring for her babies, she would still come to visit me.

I hope this is enough to go off of. ><" It took a lot of courage to write this because of my anxiety but it was quite fun in the end. Can't wait to hear back from you. ^^

I match you with Jason Todd aka Red Hood

•Jason probably knows, best of all in the batfamily, what it feels like to be betrayed. He has been betrayed more than once, after all. As such, loyalty is unbelievably important to him, almost as much as honesty. He would never lie to you, but he expects the same honesty from you. Trust comes very slowly to the man, but once he realises that you're honest to him, he does open up his hard shell piece by piece, and shows you a bit more of what truly lies underneath it, a man, that has been hurt far too often, and fears vulnerability as a result.

•Although Jason surely isn't the best at being optimistic, he, like many others of his family, hasn't given Gotham up just yet. He does believe that there is always hope for people to reform themselves (unless they're the Joker), and he is better at cheering you up than one would expect. If you talk about your feelings, or something that has upset you, he's always there to offer moral support and a "It'll get better, trust me."

•Jason loves reading, and although he prefers holding a book in his hand rather than reading stuff online, he isn't shy to cuddle up to you and read a book whilst you scroll through online pages. He also isn't shy to recommend some classics to you, that he is of the firm opinion everybody should've read at least once, and if you ask for it, he might read some of them out loud for you.

•He would definitely lead you through Gotham and show you some of his favourite restaurants that he crashes into after a particularly exhausting night of patrol. He'd also tell you what to get and what to avoid, especially if you're in one of the more hidden restaurants that don't look like particularly much from the outside. Most of the time, his recommendations are connected to stories, such as "Don't take that one, I got bad food poisoning from that one, but that one is fine"

•He would also be very reassuring, and tell you that the world doesn't give a fuck if you screw up or not, because at the end of the day, you'll be at your home, in his arms, where you can always be sure you're safe and sound.

[goldendoodlerlockerlove]

Geneuary Countdown: Discussion Question #1

Hello everyone!

To drum up excitement for Geneuary, I wanted to ask a question to encourage some fun discussion!

I'd like to ask what one of your guys' favorite Gene moments is. You can choose multiple because I know it'll probably be quite difficult to narrow it down!

I have so many favorite Gene moments that it was super difficult for me to narrow down, but one moment that really made me fall in love with Gene as a character and make me appreciate him was this moment from Season 5, Episode 5, Best Burger:

There is so much I could analyze about this scene, almost too much. But I've already kind of analyzed it for my post on why I love Bob and Gene's father/son relationship, so I'll try not to repeat anything.

I adore how genuinely hard Gene worked to try and help Bob this whole episode. Sure, it was technically him who created the issue in the first place, but he was just being a kid and being forgetful, something I can definitely relate to a ton. And he spent the entire episode trying to make up for his mistake, and he went through hell and back to get that black garlic.

He could've just given up at any time and run through that Hot Fudge Car Wash, but he didn't! He persevered and insisted that he should be the one to get the garlic to Bob, as he was the reason why Bob didn't have it. Side note, Gene was very ADHD coded in this episode, and I love it, as someone whose sister and boyfriend have ADHD.

Anyway, I adore how Gene apologizes to Bob right away, but it breaks my heart every single time when he calls himself a screw-up! He actually believes that he messes things up all the time, and that makes me want to reach through the screen and give him the biggest hug imaginable. He deals with so many confidence issues under his bubbly, effervescent surface, and it's always so fascinating to analyze and unpack.

It's always so clear how everyone saying that he messed up (even using his name as a negative verb) has affected him mentally. It's caused him to believe that if he doesn't fix this mistake, he'll just be seen as a screw-up, so that's why his determination in this episode was so strong. It's admirable, but it makes me want to give him some encouragement because he definitely needs it.

And him taking a moment to say that he's always admired Bob always has me 🥺 He loves his dad so much it's so cute. He really thinks of Bob as someone to aspire to be and look up to and is much more willing to admit it than Louise. I'm sure having a child who's so verbally enthusiastic about looking up to him feels really nice for Bob. Sure, Tina is also very vocal about her love for her family too, but is probably not as enthusiastic as Gene is, at least at this moment.

Also, I know it's not related to Gene, but I love how Bob quickly apologizes for snapping. It's a small thing, but it really goes to show how good of a dad Bob is.

My second favorite Gene moment is probably this one from the ending of Season 8, Episode 9, Y Tu Ga-Ga Tambien:

I think this goes back to Gene's self-worth issues that are hidden beneath the surface. Ga-Ga Ball genuinely made him feel left out, as seen with the line "It's not a good feeling when someone says "everyone" but they don't mean you!" It's implied here that Gene has felt excluded before, and unfortunately, I can definitely see that happening.

He's been excluded before (sort of) as seen in Season 5, Episode 17, The Itty Bitty Ditty Committee, where he was kicked out of his own band. That exclusion even led him to almost give up music entirely! So whenever someone excludes Gene, he carries it deep within himself. It actually hurts him a lot, even if he doesn't always show it. He gives off a happy, bubbly exterior because he is genuinely a happy kid, but he also doesn't exactly enjoy talking about any issues he has.

But when he had an opportunity to speak out against exclusion, he took it, because he didn't want anyone else to feel the same way he did. That was why he was the only one left who didn't like Ga-Ga Ball, because of that exclusionary aspect.

But yes, this was a fantastic speech and Gene moment. The gifs were taken from this lovely post:

[gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot]

Annoying anon here! Had a few questions so i thought i would send them together, you can answer the ones you want (or none of course)

- how long did it take for Ghost and riot to get together? Relationship wise and merely comfortable in the other's presence

- do you think realistically there would/could possibly be conflict in the sense that one of them is ready to settle down and the other isn't/isn't yet?

- which one is more reckless? Which one is more possible to be in a very VERY bad situation? (Could be impulsive or because of a teammate)

- i know they're both stubborn, but which one is at a most disadvantage because of their pride (very similar to the last question)

Anyways I'm off for a shower and there could be more questions arriving from it (shower thoughts am i right)

Thank you for your work! (I sound like a middle aged man i swear im not)

You're not annoying <3 I love your asks, hun!! Really!!

1 - Well, my fic starts January 2023 (I don't say the exact date but... let's say mid January) and it took them a whole week and a half to start hanging out alone to smoke (of course it was a coincidence lol lol... yeah sure). So comfortable in each other's (silent) presence, soon enough. I think Ghost was thankful for someone less rambuctious as Soap, and Gaz, as lovely as he is, is determined to make him more social so... And Riot was thankful that he didn't pry like the others.

Now, relationship wise, current chapter (the op in Spain) is June or July 2023 and they're just starting having physical touch here and there. I don't think they'd be 'together' in a physical sense until Late August or September. And between first kiss and actual sex it'll take about three weeks or a month, so... They're very slow lmao i'm sorry

2 - Oh, absolutely. I write constantly how they advance a step and sometimes they go back two or three. Ghost's PTSD is better managed in the sense that he's been suffering it longer, and although he is not fine, he is slightly better than her. That doesn't mean he doesn't spiral sometimes. Her spiraling is often more apparent because her PTSD is fresher. Right at the point where they are (I'm writing) he is kinda stable (until the nightmare) and she was slowly trying to get out of her shell. Holding hands, sitting closer, touching each other, now sharing a room. Their own self-doubt and feeling that they are not deserving of anything good is what screws them over.

In the (nearer than you think) future, when there is talk about the officiality of it... surprisingly enough, they get to an agreement soon.

3 - Definitely Riot. She is careful if she's leading or has people under her command. If she's working alone she's less careful about her own wellbeing, the only thing important is getting the mission done. (More or less like Ghost, but Price has forced Ghost to accept that he has people waiting for him). It'd be a conflict soon, in a couple of chapters. Add to that, that she'd never leave anyone behind, and lives with the shame about what happened to Phoenix Squad, and she'll do anything to atone, even if rationally, it wasn't her fault

4 - Definitely Ghost. I follow the comic canon, I just adapted it slightly, so his childhood is canon, Roba, etc. For me, Ghost had an unhealthy childhood with a horrible father who abused his family, abused his mother, his brother, him. He was beaten into thinking any kind of emotional state was unmanly, asking for help was for the weak. So he is extremely proud in the sense that he'd never ask for help, no matter about what.

He only concedes with Price. If he absolutely need someone... he'd go to Price. Price is his rock, his anchor. Price won't judge him. Price is the only one that saw him at his worst, after Roba, saw him in the deepest hole known to man, and stayed. Never turned his back on him. So Ghost's absolutely loyalty is to Price and will listen to him over anyone, including Riot (not that she'd go against Price in any case but you get my meaning)

[ngatwa]

"The royal family let him be fully open." Praise for the royal family for no longer psychologically torturing Henry with being forced into the closet doesn't win them brownie points going forward. Not to mention, they were essentially forced into supporting Henry because of the public support.

"Therefore, everything he fought for will be for nothing." What? What are you talking about? Henry getting to live as his authentic self is worth it, being with Alex is worth it, his mental health is worth it. All those externa factors don't matter in the long run.

"Henry can be the prince and still be free." But in the lines before that, you specified that Henry would still be beholden to the crown i.e., not at all free.

"Henry and Alex should also have a big royal wedding to remind the royals, the public, the world that they won, that they aren't going anywhere." Because weddings are famously about everything but the people getting married. Alex and Henry owe no one anything.

Yeah, the royal family was forced to support Henry, but surprise surprise - they could do the opposite. Yes, they had that option, the fact that they didn't take it is already big progress for them. Henry will forever be connected to the royal family. Because the royal family is not only the Queen/King, but also his mom, Bea and Phillip (I sincerely believe their relationship can get better in the future). Even if Henry gives up the title, he'll still visit them, he'll still go to the palace and he'll still attend important family events like weddings and funerals. He'll definitely show up at the Queen/King's funeral and his mom's coronation. He'll never fully separate from the royal family, because they're his family by blood, not just the royals. Henry might as well keep some charities he cares about (spoiler: members of the royal family often choose charities based on their own interests). The example of Princess Diana and Prince Harry shows that you can safely live apart from the royal family and still have a title. Plus, if Henry refuses the prince title, it'll mean the royal family has won, that they forced the first openly gay man to officially reject them. And, as I said, I want two weddings: a small one for them and their loved ones and a big one for the public. All my thinking boils down to one thing - Henry and Alex don't owe people anything (well, almost), but they owe it to themselves. Yeah, they've defeated the royal family now, but if Henry gives up the title, it turns out they'll lose. This means the LGBTQ+ community will lose as well. And, yeah, even if Henry refuses the title, as being said, he'll still be connected with the family, he'll never get rid of them, so he can make the most of this situation for himself, and that is to keep the title and show everyone he screwed the royal family, while staying himself and taking care of his mental health (if you don't get how this is possible, read my message again).

[homemadefactory-1993]

16 March 2024

Life has been been going well, and I find myself able to have conversations with my coworkers rather easy. One of the clerks is leaving to a position closer to home, so my clinics that I oversee have changed. It'll be something I'm familiar with, but looking forward to getting that sense of responsibility. My personal life is calm and stable for the most part, but the lack of having someone in your bed is definitely something I want back.

Life is calm and quiet, which is always how I want my life to be. I hung out with my old supervisor/coworker on Thursday and it was an absolute blast. We talked about life, and how we're both doing well overall. We used to watch the same client and that guy is beyond hope. I told my friend Tyler, that one day we'll both have that family and relationship we always wanted. It'll be happy for us, while the guy will be in his midlife with a multitude of problems and claiming he's ready to get his life together. But everyone knows it'll be too little, too late but screw him because it's his own doing.

It's always nice to be able to share things, how I want to say them without any filter. I'm seeing that my coworkers are pretty open about their lives and views. But I remember getting fired from my old job nearly 4 years ago. Because I shared a meme, and their partner was the one that decided to have me terminated. Either way, I got the laugh as that company is the middle of a bankruptcy. While I have a better job, with actual benefits and a means to do things that I want. While maintaining a surplus of money left over every month. For years, my bank account would either be barren. My credit cards were always or near maxed out, and my savings was little to nothing more than enough to keep myself afloat following a dinner at a basic restaurant.

Life is strange, one moment you're in way over your head and have no real means to save yourself. Your problems are too much for anyone to handle. Friends are non-existent, and are always occupied or busy with something else. On top of it, everything else in life feels like a losing compromise for you. I'm not sure what type of trial/tribulation I had to go through. But I'm happy to be where I am today. Especially, whenever you see people with years of a head start or better resources. Unable to escape the same fate that you had.

I'm looking forward to this spring, the weather will be beautiful. I'll be able fix myself to the previous physical condition I once was. Those antidepressants did help somewhat, but the weight gain was ridiculous. Thankfully, some of the weight has started coming off, but it'll take a lot more effort, to be who I want to be.

If you're curious about the gif, it's a reflection of my time as a soldier. I'm no longer able to serve my nation, as I'm medically retired for nearly 5 years now. But I still have my uniforms ready for any inspection.

[decadentias]

"YEAH, IT'S BEEN ROUGH FOR her. The guy she was in love with betrayed her, and then she had to marry my brother. If I were in her shoes, I'd be devastated. I'm not sure how they're going to make that work. It sounds messy no matter how much I think about it. It'll be pretty fucked up for the children in the future." The way Giannina spoke didn't faze her. Edwina resonated with her friend's frustration. Everything was messed up. They never had the chance to get some moment of peace. "Oh, I'm definitely on Fleur's side. Edwin may be my brother, but that doesn't mean I'll tolerate his mistakes. He is becoming like our father. He, of all people, know how much his infidelity screwed our family over. And now, he's making the same mistake. I don't support it." For the past year, her relationship with Edwin had become strained. Her high morals allowing her to be this firm with her own sibling. "I know. The tabloids are going to talk smack about them, especially the women. I can already imagine them pitting Fleur and Kimmy against each other and make it sound like my brother is the prize." The media would be dying for this scoop. Their nosiness always irked her. She understood that their life was destined for the limelight but she still wished things were different and simple.

" The only person that I am feeling sorry for in this situation is Fleur. You think about it she fell in love with a man that she thought loved her and then did what he did not only to her but her whole family. Then put on a brave face to marry your brother after all of that. What about the child? Fleur is now going to have to do a co-parenting system with him and his bitch. " Giannina is usually well mannered when it comes to her behaviour and the way she spoke , but the whole situation frustrated her for their friend that doesn't seem to be able to ever be able to catch a break. However Gia still hates the other woman for stealing Edwin from her even though there would never be anything serious between the two. " I think the best thing that we can do as Fleur's friends is to make sure that she knows that we're in her corner and she has our support. I know that Edwin is your brother but I do hope we're on the same page when it comes to picking her side over his's in this situation. " The tabloids are just going to eat all three of them alive the moment that word breaks about this scandal. "

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

notoriously yours | jay park

✰ summary: jay park is a rich kid. it’s safe to say he has everything every broke college student on his campus could dream of and more. but the one thing he doesn’t have, which money definitely can’t buy, is a girlfriend. and his friends won’t see of it. literally.

so what happens when his friends bet him to date someone for more than three months? what happens when jay decides that fake-dating someone would be easier than actual dating (because god forbid Jay–the campus’ notoriously known fuckboy–decides to commit to something once in his life)?

and what happens when that someone is you, his childhood best friend he hasn’t spoken to in years..who has absolutely no interest in being in his life anymore?

✰ pairing: jay park x y/n [ft. members of enha]

✰ genre: fluff, comedy, angst | fakedating!au, college!au, childhoodbestfriends!au, (kinda) e2l!au

✰ warnings: cursing, nothing suggestive but jay's a fuckboy so slightly suggestive themes, mentions of parental neglect/leaving, it's hella long (and i thought my last fic was long)

✰ wc: 14.7k (how did i get it this long oh lord)

✰ author's note: picture creds go to original owners/editors! peep that edit of jay that lowkey inspired this entire fic 👀also this took me so, so long bc i lost motivation half way thru and bc college is a thing,,,so i honestly don't know how to feel abt it so pls bare with me :')))) ALSO the dividers are weird bc idk how to add more than 10 pics for the dividers so pls excuse those ٩(× ×)۶i hope u guys enjoy!! <333

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

Jay Park is a rich kid.

Jay Park has enough to buy every textbook he needs for his courses without having to look up the free versions online. Jay Park has enough to bribe his professors to let him pass every class with a perfect 4.0 GPA (but because the boy has morals, he doesn't). Jay Park has enough to afford a car to drive to his furthest class from his dorm building instead of walk or bike like every other college student, meaning he also has enough to afford a parking spot on campus (those things aren't cheap!).

Jay Park walks around your school's campus like he owns the place (and considering the amount of money his family has donated to the school, he practically does), looking like he just walked out of your local coffee shop's newest fashion magazine. His blonde hair is never seen untouched, his attire usually consisting of an undoubtedly high-end all-black fit, accessorized with multiple earrings and rings that probably cost more than all the overpriced textbooks you had to rent out this semester. It's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park.

Bottom line is, Jay Park has everything.

Well, his friends beg to differ.

In their eyes, Jay Park has everything but a simple factor in the equation of love (or whatever love is to the minds of a couple of 19 year olds): commitment.

So yes, it's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park. Because everyone knows he's the campus' rich fuckboy. (What's a college fanfic campus without one anyways?)

Jay doesn't go unreminded of this by his friends, to the boy's annoyance.

Jay is aware of this on a Sunday afternoon, in his dorm building's first floor lounge, where he and his said friends are having a study session.

They're doing anything but studying.

In fact, no one has any books out or anything. Not a single laptop in site.

"You don't think it's the slightly bit concerning?" Jake's words are muffled as he continues munching on the fried chicken that he spent majority of this study session debating if he should have it delivered through UberEats or not.

"I really don't, no," Jay shrugs as he continues mindlessly scrolling through his Instagram feed. They're having the same argument conversation that they've revisited multiple times over the course of their friendship, one that Jay has been lectured on too many times for his own good. He thinks his friends could become his new parents if they really tried.

"Look at it this way, okay. You're about to graduate college in a couple of years, into the big world. Like the actual, adult world. And that means you'll have to settle down. Which you can't do when you. have. no. commitment!" Jake punctuates each word with a single clap of his hands, desperate to get his point across.

Jay simply rolls his eyes. He looks over to Sunghoon, who's minding his own business, not bothered by the same topic he's heard over and over again. His eyes tell Jay you're on your own, in response to his blonde-haired friend's look of despair.

Jay thinks that maybe he should get new friends. Yes, that's the only solution here.

"My love life," Jay reaches across the table for a drumstick from the greasy tub seated in Jake's lap until Jake swats his hand away, "is none of your business. Also, ouch."

"Uh, it kinda is. Because of you and your reputation around campus, it kinda affects us, your best friends. How do you think we look, hanging out with the guy who's known to ghost every girl in existence after one night with them? No offense to you," Jake deadpans to him. Jay mentally reconsiders the term best friends.

Tough love. Jay tells himself it's tough love.

"Yes, because every girl totally hates Jake Sim, the teacher assistant of a physics class who volunteers at the pet shelter every Sunday and brings their pet golden retriever to campus every two weeks," Jay rolls his eyes at his Australian friend.

Jake sighs. "Okay, then I'm coming from a place of worry for you."

Jay groans. "Again, none of your business!" This doesn't stop Jake. He comes from good intentions, really, but Jay wants nothing more than to stuff the kid's mouth with some of that chicken to shut him up.

"What are you gonna do if one day you meet someone you like, genuinely like, and you screw yourself over because you've never been in an actual relationship before? A real, committed one. Like one that lasts at least three months."

"You don't think I can last three months in a relationship?" Jay questions the boy currently taunting him.

"Honestly? No. What's the longest relationship you've been in?" Jake cocks an eyebrow at his friend across from him.

One month and two weeks. But Jay's smart enough to not say that out loud.

"I can so last over three months," Jay mutters more to himself than Jake.

Jake laughs at that, pausing to take another bite of the drumstick in his hand. "Jay, I am willing to actually bet you. Bet that you wouldn't be able to." He leans back on the couch, the ball now in Jay's court.

Jay freezes, looking up from his phone, narrowing his eyes at Jake.

"Forget it, Jake. He's not gonna agree even if you offered him money," Sunghoon finally perches from beside him. Well he's not wrong. It's not like Jay is exactly in need of more money, per say.

"What kind of bet are we talking here?"

Sunghoon's right. Jay doesn't need the money, but he does hate being wrong. Even if it's over something as stupid as this matter.

Caught off guard by the blonde's answer, Jake blinks blankly at him and takes a second to think.

"Hmm..what about...what about if you can date someone for at least three months, and I mean an actual, committed relationship, then I'll do all of your physics homework next semester."

Jay's eyes sparkle at that. If there's anything he despises more than commitment, it's physics.

"And if I win, you have to buy all of my textbooks," Jake sits back from the edge of his seat with a smirk lying on his face.

Jay pauses to think about it. I mean, what does he have to lose? A couple hundred dollars over college textbooks? No. Because he just simply won't lose.

And maybe he'll learn what it'll be like to actually be in a committed relationship for once. Maybe he'll finally learn what it's like to actually devote yourself to someone, open up to them. He shivers at the thought. Never mind. He'll warm up to it. Baby steps.

Nonetheless, what could go wrong? Even if he does lose, at least his money would be going somewhere productive––towards his friend's education. Jay was probably gonna use that money on something useless like a blanket that resembles a tortilla (a burrito blanket, he calls it)––something he doesn't necessarily need, but must have, he would argue.

"Fine. Whatever, okay. Deal," he grabs Jake's extended hand in front of him and shakes on it.

Jake's impressively smiling at the boy as Sunghoon lets out a sigh, in disbelief with the two guys he calls his best friends.

Jay concludes that this will be easier than his Introduction to Photography 101 course he took his freshman year. How hard is it to find someone to date the Jay Park? Surely, everyone will be lining up once Jay switches his FaceBook relationship status from "it's complicated" to "single".

Turns out, it's not as easy as his class where all Jay had to do was take pictures of a pretty sunset, slap a VSCO filter on, and call it a day.

He comes to this realization on a Wednesday evening, as he's seated at one of the many study tables lined in the middle of the campus' library, staring down at his phone's dry iMessage app, with his laptop and blank sheets of scratch paper scrambled across the entire table, as an attempt to look half as studious as the other students studying in the facility.

Turns out, being known as the campus' fuckboy who ghosts every girl on campus isn't a good thing when it comes to wanting to find a real relationship.

He comes to this realization after failing to receive a single text back to the many ones he sent out throughout the first half of his day. The ghoster gets ghosted. Oh how the turn tables.

Jay groans dramatically as he tosses his phone on the hard surface of the table, earning himself a harsh shush from the librarian filing books in the aisle beside him.

He sheepishly smiles back as an apology, directing his attention back to his open laptop screen, where his untouched calculus homework stares back at him––his mind preoccupied with the looming threat of Jake's bet. Not that it was threatening in any way, per say, but Jay just hates losing. And from the looks of things, it's safe to say that Jay won't be celebrating any victories anytime soon.

Jay thinks he should just change his identity and just transfer to some boarding school in Switzerland. Yes, that's a much better solution than admitting defeat to Jake.

Jay sighs as he lies his head on the table, figuring he might as well just write the check for Jake's textbooks now. He wonders how he got here in the first place. Not how he got into the bet, and definitely not how he's sitting in the middle of the library, having yet to start his calculus homework due at 11:59PM tonight (he should really start that).

But no, he wonders how he gained the reputation as the campus' playboy. To be fair, his friends (mainly Jake), are constantly reminding him of his notorious habits. But how did they come a habit in the first place?

The idea of being in a relationship is nice, sure, but the commitment that comes with it? The idea of being dependent on someone? It's scary, vulnerable, and one that Jay can't picture for himself.

Maybe some people just aren't meant to be paired. Maybe some people, like Jay, like being independent and are meant to stay that way.

But Jay also likes affection. He likes the fleeting, warm feeling he gets every time he finds himself under someone's sheets. He likes the short-lived comfort he receives from someone else's touch, even though he knows it's going to cease to exist the second he steps out of those bedroom's doors. He just likes affection, simple as that.

That and he's a 19 year old teenage boy with needs, what did you expect?

And so what if he likes the idea of affection minus commitment? Is that so bad? Apparently it is, to people like his friends and the entirety of his school's campus, at least.

At this rate, he might as well pay someone to date him.

Wait. Jay lifts his head off the table's surface in realization.

He might as well pay someone to date him.

There's no harm in that, is there?

He wouldn't have to endure through an endless amount of dates to find someone he clicks with, then continue going on dates with said clicked person, all while trying to develop an actual, serious relationship.

He'll win the bet, get his physics homework done for an entire semester, and some lucky girl out there will be making profit for the small price of hanging out with Jay Park for three months.

And lucky for him, Jay knows the perfect candidate for this scheme.

Simple as that.

Just as long as said perfect candidate says yes.

And as long as Jake and Sunghoon don't find out. Or else Jay might really have to move to Switzerland after all.

You love your friends, you do.

Hana and Heeseung have been there for you when others haven't––they were by your side when you knew no one entering high school, and they were still by your side when you were all graduating said high school. Needless to say, you're eternally grateful for friends like them.

But right now, in this moment––with you seated in the middle of the campus' library, trying to write your essay, as your two friends blabber on and on about the most recent gossip across from you––your two friends could be your villain origin story.

But again, you love your friends, you do. So you don't have the heart to tell them to leave. You've managed to naturally tune out most of the conversation, anyways, for this––your friends coming to hang out while you're trying to study––is no rare occurrence by any means.

"Oh yeah, Jay Park texted me last night."

You hate how your brain's filter suddenly turns off at Hana's words.

You hate how your ears catch the sudden mention of Jay Park's name.

You hate how the thought of Jay Park gets to even occupy a single brain cell of yours.

You hate how you even know who Jay Park is. Well, knew.

Past tense. Because up until eighth grade––when Jay decided to just suddenly pretend you didn't exist––he was attached to you like a koala to a eucalyptus tree.

And if you had asked past Y/N, ideally, Jay would've never left your side. Ideally, he would've never left you to fend for yourself when entering high school. Ideally, he would've stayed your best friend through out all four years of high school and ideally, you would've eventually told him how you really felt about him after growing up with him all your life. And maybe it would've lead to a completely different story. But for the sake of this fic, we don't live in an ideal world.

So yes, if it wasn't for his attendance at the very same university as you, you would've forgotten about the boy who brought you the painful memories of your childhood.

And since the universe clearly doesn't work in your favor, avoiding Jay Park's existence like he's the plague would have to suffice. And it works.

For the most part.

Until some people, bring him up uninvited into your conversation. Like now, for example.

"When was the last time you guys talked anyways?" Heeseung mindlessly asks as he reaches across the table to grab one of the many snacks you usually bring to your study sessions.

"Uh..like a few weeks ago. Give or take. Whenever you threw your house party. Can't say there was much talking involved however," she teasingly says with a giggle and wiggle of her brows.

Heeseung's rolling his eyes as you scoff and chuck a nearby crumpled piece of paper that was once one of your many essay drafts at her.

She bats it away right as it's about to hit her face as she laughs. "Doesn't matter anyways. He ghosted me the next morning, as he does with everyone else. Telling you this now," she extends a finger right at you, "stay away from Jay Park. That kid's just bad news."

You nod in response, mentally telling her she has nothing to worry about.

Been there, done that.

College. Ah yes, the very concept of spending four years of your life imprisoned on a campus where you'll be tearing your hair out from stress and spending all your life's savings just for a laminated sheet of paper with a golden stamp at the end of it all. We live in a society.

Because of said college, and all the weight that comes along with it, you had adapted a strict daily schedule in order to not completely lose your mind. It's a simple schedule really, one of a typical college student who's just trying to get by everyday with as little mental breakdowns as possible.

Wake up, get ready, go to class, go to the library to do your homework, walk all the way across campus to get back to your dorm, shower, then sleep. Oh and eat, of course. And maybe if time permits, be an actual social being and socialize.

It's gotten you this far into the college life without dropping out so, you conclude, you must be doing something right.

Sometimes, if you're feeling nice to yourself, you'll tweak the schedule a bit to fit in some exceptions. Maybe squeeze in a little trip to the bubble tea shop that's on the other side of campus, or maybe get dinner at that one dining hall that you don't usually go to because of the unncessarily long lines (but because they serve ice cream, you go anyways). It doesn't matter what the exception is, you still plan it out to fit into your schedule somehow. Everything is planned out.

Sometimes, however, the universe disagrees with your schedule, to your demise. Such as today, for example.

Because what you didn't expect for today was for a particular blonde-haired boy who you haven't spoken to in almost six years (but who's counting?) to approach your table in the library––a table you were sure no one could find you at, as it was quietly tucked away in the back corner, right next to the Astrophysics shelves. Because who browses the Astrophysics aisle for fun? Actually, maybe Jake Sim would. Anyways.

You definitely didn't anticipate a visit from the boy you've been actively avoiding, so you definitely didn't expect the first words coming out of his mouth when he sees you for the first time in six years to be:

"Fake date me."

You blink up at him.

Yeah, definitely not expected.

But you only let it phase you for a split second, until you feel a slight annoyance beginning to bubble up deep inside of you.

"Wow, hello to you too Jay! It's been what––half a decade? Yeah I've been pretty good, thanks for asking!" The sarcasm is practically dripping off your tongue.

You don't know what runs through Jay's mind, but apparently it isn't common sense––or the ability to read the room. Because next thing you know, he's sliding the chair across from you out from underneath the table and making himself at home.

And he's smiling right at you.

Curse him and his smile.

But no, you're not giving into it.

Not yet, at least.

"What do you want?" You deadpan at him when he makes no sign of making the next move.

"A girlfriend," he deadpans right back at you, as if he was casually telling you what he wanted for dinner. As if you two were close-knit friends that could approach one another without any proper greeting. As if you two had kept your friendship all these years. As if you two even had a role in each other's lives.

"Can't help you there," you scoff, deciding to not even question his lack of manners on top of his uninvited presence.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why?"

"Well gee, seeing that the first few words you decided to say to my face for the first time in forever were a demand, a demand to date you no less, then....no," your monotone voice says as you keep your eyes focused on your laptop screen, not daring to look at the boy across from you.

In the Introduction to Sociology course you took your freshmen year, you had learned of one important term: interactional vandalism. Textbook definition being: "ignoring signals of disinterest in a conversation, leading it to an offense."

Your definition being: "are you oblivious or just plan dumb, read the room!"

This was interactional vandalism, alright. Whether Jay's truly oblivious or just trying to annoy you until your head explodes (it's really the former, but you're convinced it's the latter), he takes your signals of disinterest and tosses it right out of his head to continue the conversation.

"I'm stuck in this stupid bet with Jake--do you remember him? He bet me that I couldn't date someone for more than three months and I figured having someone fake date me would be easier than actually dating someone, right? That's where you come into the equation," he proposes as he leans back in his chair, as if he had just finished a sales pitch to a prospective customer looking to buy a car.

You couldn't believe this. You're 98% sure this has got to be a prank. You're mentally preparing for a camera crew to jump out from in-between the library's aisles any moment now and scream into your ears that you've just been punk'd!

The remaining 2% of you, however, wouldn't put it past the two boys to get themselves in such a situation. The last memory you had of Jay and his friends were pretty much their childish selves back in middle school. And by looking at the current scene unfolding in front of you...it's needless to say they haven't changed much.

"Again, can't help you there. Ask one of the many girlfriends I thought you had." Ouch.

"But Y/N, you've known me all your life--"

"Up until you dropped me a few years ago but sure, let's call it that."

"--and convincing other people is gonna make me look--"

"--desperate? Yeah."

"C'mon, Y/N. What do you have to lose anyways?"

"Uh..my dignity? Pride? Self-respect? Sorry Jay, not happening," you turn your attention back to your unwritten essay in front of you, mentally checking out of this conversation. This would be a good time for that camera crew to jump out now.

"Look, no one else is gonna do it, Y/N." Jay has always been stubborn, you suppose. But so are you.

"Yeah, because you've managed to push every being of the opposite gender away from you. You gave yourself this reputation in the first place," you give it to him straight. It's not like you had a relationship with him to uphold anyways––Jay himself broke that friendship years ago.

Jay hates that you're right.

You're always right. He remembers how he used to always go to you for advice and clarity on the world's biggest problems. Granted, the world's biggest problems to him at the time equated to what he should dress up as for the fifth grade Halloween party, but still. A tough decision, for the mind of a ten-year-old.

You abruptly stop typing and begin putting your laptop and textbooks away as you huff in frustration. There's no point in trying to get your work done now. The longer you stay arguing with Jay, the bigger your headache gets. The longer he continues to occupy any part of your brain, the bigger your headache gets.

Getting up from your seat, packed and ready to slam your head into your pillow, you turn to the blonde one last time.

"Look Jay. We went on our separate ways years ago. If you weren't so notoriously known around campus and my friends would stop talking about you, I would've long forgotten you. I'm sorry you're in this situation, really. If I were you, I'd just tell Jake I can't do it. Or don't, I can't tell you what to do. Just don't get some innocent girl involved in whatever stunt of yours this is."

Jay stares at you, mouth agape, as you find your way out of the library and through the main doors. By the time he comes back to his senses, he realizes how he looks plain stupid––standing in the middle of the library, the look on his face screaming befuddlement, to say the least. Jay quickly makes his way out of the building, in hopes of convincing you one last time.

Jay catches sight of your figure already half-way down the walkway that connects the library to the main quad of your school's campus. Geez, you walk fast.

Not fast enough to outrun Jay's legs, however. If Jay running after you through the middle of campus in order to convince you to fake date him doesn't show how desperate he is to win this bet, I don't know what will.

"Wait, Y/N!"

You groan to yourself before turning to face the boy who can't seem to take a hint and leave you alone. You stare at his out-of-breath state as he heaves up and down from the slight jog he had to endure to get to where you are. If you're humored by him chasing after you, you do a good job of hiding it.

He meets your unimpressed state before stating his final proposition: "I'll pay you. Five hundred dollars."

You nearly stop breathing.

Now this catches your attention––after all, you're but a broke college student who's just trying to survive. And preferably not by feeding yourself instant ramen cups every night.

And so, naturally, you begin rethinking about the opportunity presented in front of you. You narrow your eyes at the boy as you weigh your options.

The first problem being, it's Jay Park––the bane of your very existence. You spent the last few years of your life pretending he didn't exist...for good reason. Not only did he do you dirty when you were merely a couple of 13-year-olds, but you just didn't want to be involved with someone like him. Someone known for his nature, someone who left your own current best friend ghosted. And not that Hana herself would care, for she has called herself the "female Jay Park", but you're sure this would be breaking some rule in the girl code handbook. Plus, if you agree to this, you'd be betraying 13-year-old Y/N, the one who decided to never speak to nor think of Jay Park again––which by now you've failed, but you get the gist.

Second problem being, three months is a long time. Three months is practically the rest of this semester, and did you really want to spend the rest of the semester tied down to the label of being Jay Park's girlfriend? There would have to be some negative connotations that came along with that title, right? No offense to Jay, but being his first girlfriend since, what, high school could make you come off as..naive, for lack of a better term. As if the only person you could settle for was Jay Park. As if you barely had any standards for yourself. Again, no offense to Jay.

Needless to say, if your school's debate club had to argue on why you shouldn't be doing this, you're sure the negating side could win with these two reasons alone.

But before you're rejecting the boy currently standing in front of you one last time, you find yourself mentally listing rebuttals.

First of all, you'd be getting paid. And again, you're merely but a college student living the stereotypical broke college student life––burdened by the costs of tuition, textbooks, and midnight McDonalds runs for when you're out of aforementioned instant ramen cups. Five hundred dollars could provide you with more than enough chicken McNuggets to last you the semester, and maybe some more to treat yourself to an online shopping spree.

Second of all, it's not like you were going to do anything better with your next three months anyways. It's safe to say you were too busy being a diligent student to actually look for anyone to date, per say. And if anything, having a fake boyfriend might actually be helpful in your case. Your mom would be off your ass about how you're still single, for one. And two, your friends (though it's really just Heeseung) would stop trying to hook you up on blind dates with guys that you would choose Jay Park over any day (and that really says something).

Third of all, it's Jay Park. As much as you despise the kid, you still know him. He's not a complete stranger to you, no matter how much you try to deny it. It could be worse, it could be a complete rando asking you to date him. At least you two have some sort of history, which would take care of the typical small talk and getting to know each other bit of this equation. And truth be told, you'd be lying to yourself if you said you weren't a tad bit satisfied by the fact that Jay chose you, of all people, to pull off this stunt with him. You don't know if it's the nostalgia of your childhood memories rushing back to you, but it reminds you of the endless schemes you two used to plan behind your parents' backs all the time. Granted, your childhood schemes––such as the both of you faking sickness so you could skip school together––don't even fall close to being in a fake relationship with one another, but still. It's the thought that counts.

All of those reasons plus, Jay isn't the worst to look at. He may have a spoiled reputation, but at least he has his looks going for him, you'll give him that (you're still secretly wondering when and how did he get his glow up, but don't tell him that).

And so by the guidelines of a college student's logic that states the pros outweigh the cons, you come to the overarching conclusion that maybe, this won't be so awful after all.

"Five hundred?" You ask, just for clarification. Jay's immediately nodding at your words. You continue to ponder on your thoughts as he stares at you hopefully.

The silent atmosphere of your campus heightens the tension so much, you swear you're in one of those overdramatic pausing scenes that occur too many times in k-dramas.

You sigh, then nod.

"Okay," you're internally praying that you won't regret this decision. "I'm in."

The next time you see Jay is at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building that's home to your awfully long Capitalism in the Western World class.

You're going down the steps of the building, mentally deciding where and what you're going to treat yourself to for lunch––as the three hour lecture you had just attended drained all the life and energy out of you––when you hear the slight call of your name.

Turning to the source, you're met with a waving Jay, leaning against the passenger's side of his car, parked in front of the lecture hall building you were currently leaving.

Great.

You walk over to where he's casually waiting––he's unaware of all the stares he's attracted from fellow students leaving the same lecture as you. Can you blame them? It's not everyday you see a sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition pull up in front of your Friday afternoon lecture. It's not everyday you see Jay Park waiting for anyone outside of his said sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition.

"Hi," you simply let out as you plant yourself in front of him, not sure whether or not to question him why are you here? Surely, he wasn't waiting for you?

"Hi," he smiles down at you. There's a beat of silence. "I was waiting for you."

Bingo.

"Oh. What are you, my chauffeur?" You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"Maybe. I am your boyfriend, after all," he says into the air, loud and clear, as if he wanted people to hear. Well that is the point, you suppose.

But still, all you want to do is smack the smirk right off his face.

Before you have time to put your next question into words, he answers it for you.

"I'm taking you out for lunch," he declares as if you have nothing else planned for the day. Well, to be fair, you didn't have anything else planned for the day. Except for your usual library run. But you figure the library could wait.

"Oh, like on a date?" You raise your eyebrows teasingly at him as you get into the car, Jay holding the door wide open for you. "Is Jay Park treating me to lunch as a date?"

Jay fights the scowl (or is that a smile?) growing on his face as he bends down to meet your eye level from inside the car. "Don't flatter yourself, princess. We've got fake lives to live."

"Call me princess one more time and you won't have a real life to live," you flash him a sarcastic smile and slam the door in his face.

Jay meets his own shocked reflection on the passenger's side window.

Cute.

"When you said you were taking me out to lunch, I expected like...I don't know...the diner on campus. Not whatever this is," you mutter to Jay as the two of you are brought to your table by a waitress at an upscale sushi restaurant, one that is undoubtedly out of your usual budget, but for sure an upgrade from your dining hall's pizza you were planning to have. You should've figured as much, the drive here was a little more than out of the way from campus, and who are you kidding, it's Jay Park you're eating with.

You stare down at your current outfit, which consisted of a hoodie you've owned since your junior year of high school and leggings that you threw on without second thought this morning––because you didn't exactly wake up and decide I'm going to go to a fancy sushi bar for lunch today!

"Why are we here anyways?" You ask him when you're both settled in your seats and the waitress walks away after listing the chef's specials for the day.

"Oh, they have killer dragon rolls here, you have to try it," Jay tells you nonchalantly as his eyes rake the menu in front of him, blocking your view of him.

How dense can one be? Your hand snatches his menu as you stare into his unamused eyes.

"No, Jay. I mean, why are we here? It's not like anyone's around to see us put on a show anyways."

"Oh. I figured," Jay's quick to grab the menu back from out of your hands as he continues, "that we should sit down and establish how exactly we're going to deliver this performance. After all, you're stuck with me for the next three months."

Again, smacking the smirk currently resting on his face would satisfy you beyond relief. Just once.

"If I drop out halfway through, do I still get $250?" You tease, leaning back.

"Ha ha. Funny. No," he narrows his eyes at you from across the table. "It's all or nothing."

You dramatically huff to make a show just for his annoyance.

"Worth a try. But sure, let's solidify this. What's the game plan?" You sit up in your seat, leaning over the table as if the two of you were hosting a secret meeting.

"It's simple really," Jay mirrors your actions, face leaning in close to where yours is hovering over the table. "Just pretend to be deeply in love with me for three months, and try not to actually be charmed by my cunning looks."

If someone gave you five dollars for every time you've already rolled your eyes at him today, you wouldn't even need to be in this deal for the five hundred dollars.

"Wow, smooth. Can I just remind you you're the one paying a girl to be in a fake relationship with you because you're just not competent enough to find an actual girlfriend?" You lean back, arms crossing over your figure.

Jay, unfazed, laughs, tongue briefly hitting the inside of his cheek. "Touché."

Your eyes go back to the menu in front of you as a silence falls over the table. Because you're not a loaded trust fund baby who comes to fancy five-star sushi restaurants for lunch on a daily, you don't recognize half of the entree names on the menu. You spot the dragon roll Jay suggested, but seeing that a basic California roll is less expensive, your natural broke-college-student-instincts figure the California roll shall do.

"Okay, in all seriousness," Jay begins as he puts his menu down. "It's simple really. We'll just go on weekly dates and post cute pictures of each other once in a while and a little after three months, I'll just say it didn't work out. I'll give you the five hundo and boom, we move on with our lives."

It's clear Jay's put some thought into this. Safe to say he's put more effort planning this out than the amount of work he's been putting into his classes. Someone's got their priorities straight.

You're impressed to say the least––you figured Jay would just be the kind to go with the flow and wait for the situation to unfold on its own and maybe blow up into flames. But seeing as he was just as serious about winning this bet as you were with making five hundred dollars, your doubts about this entire situation were slowly withering away.

Don't get it wrong, though, you still despise him. To an extent, at least.

"And don't worry about the dates. I'll pay on your behalf, as the loving, doting boyfriend I am," Jay finishes with a wide, cheesy smile you can't help but return a growing smile back at.

"Well then, as the loving, doting girlfriend I am, I shall gift you coffee, breakfast, all that fun couple stuff, whenever you please. Or maybe unannounced, if I'm feeling nice," you figure you should pitch in as much if he's paying for all your dates. And deep down, you find the idea kinda cute. But don't tell anyone that.

"Wow, look at us. We should become Dispatch's couple of the year already!" Jay exclaims, earning himself a small giggle from you, which pleases him to say the least. He thinks that maybe when this is all over, he'll hopefully make a good friend (well, for the second time) out of it.

And you're thinking that maybe the next three months won't be as bad as you initially had thought.

As the two of you delve deep into a debate about who would be the better significant other to each other, the waitress comes over to take your orders.

And because you're laughing and Jay's brightly smiling at you from across the table, you order the dragon roll.

The second time Jay takes you out––this time he gives you a heads up to get ready––it's at a, once again, high-class steakhouse.

The third time, you insist on the on-campus diner that's popular amongst the student population. Partially because you feel bad for the amount of money he's spent on you (even though he couldn't care less), but mostly because if you have to put on another fancy dress to just eat an overpriced meal that doesn't even fully satisfy your hunger, you might lose your mind.

And by this third time, Jake is aware of this newly blossomed relationship.

"Three dates! I didn't know you had it in you, going on three dates with the same girl!" Jake excitedly exclaims as he jumps into the empty spot on Jay's dorm bed and shoves his phone's screen into Jay's face.

The smaller screen displays Jay's most recent Instagram post: an image of you sitting behind your too-small-to-be-this-expensive-steak and smiling right into Jay's camera––a memory that brings a smile to his face:

~ ~ ~

"C'mon! We said Instagram posts would be a part of the deal! How else can we convince people we're dating?" A pout rests on Jay's face as he stares at you from across the table in the middle of the extravagantly decorated restaurant he picked out for your second date. You remember your eyes bulging out of their own sockets when you saw the "$$$$$" rating Yelp gave the place when you searched it up earlier.

"Okay, okay! One picture," you give in, already slightly annoyed that you were here instead of the comfort of your own bed, where you could be rewatching your favorite Netflix show for the third time. But because you made a deal and because you're desperate for money, you had to follow through––so here you were.

You flash an unconvincing smile to Jay's camera, which doesn't satisfy him, to say the least. "At least pretend you're somewhat enjoying this date," he frowns at you.

You sigh, until a thought crosses your mind and a smile grows on your face. "Only if you get me boba afterwards."

He narrows his eyes at you, but then meets your smile. "Sure, whatever you want. But only because I've been craving some mango milk tea lately."

"You're a fruit milk tea kind of guy? Sorry, but I might have to fake break-up with you," you tease as you take a sip of your overpriced drink to go with your overpriced meal.

Jay scoffs, feigning hurt by placing his hand over his heart. "Ouch. But before you break up with me, let me get this Instagram post in."

"Wow. Your priorities are so straight," you roll your eyes at him, eliciting a cheeky smile from him as he watches you through his held up phone screen.

"3,2,1."

"Hey, I wasn't ready! That was like mid-laugh!" You reach over the table to grab the phone, but not quick enough for him to put his phone back into his pants' pocket.

"Nope, nuh uh," he laughs as you quickly sit back down into your seat, not wanting to cause a scene in an establishment as proper as this one.

"It's fine. It's a good picture, you look cute," he casually lets out, unaware of the blush rising to the surface of your cheeks, thanks to the fact that you were suddenly interested in playing with the left-over food on your plate.

"Jay! Delete it, I'll let you take another one," you whine from your seat, imagining just how bad a candid picture of you could be.

"Ugh, fine. Ever so picky." He playfully rolls his eyes at you as he takes his phone out and opens the camera app as you prepare yourself.

"Okay, how's this?" Jay turns the phone screen to you after he takes a few snaps on his phone.

"I approve," you grin at him as he goes through the pictures himself, unaware of the smile growing on his face.

"Okay now delete the first one," you point your finger at him, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Okay, okay! Bossy," he laughs as he raises in hands in surrender.

When Jay gets home that night, he recovers the image from his Recently Deleted folder, telling himself it's for the sake of the memory.

Obviously.

~ ~ ~

"It's not that big of a deal," Jay mutters from his spot as his eyes go from the Instagram post to his Exile and Belonging in Modern Literature reading that's due tomorrow, bright yellow highlighter in hand. Typically, you'd find the reading buried deep at the bottom of his school backpack. But because Jay ran into you this morning and because he complained to you about the amount of work he's fallen behind on and because you had threatened him to do his work or else you're not going on another date––a fake date that is––with him, he figured he should at least get one reading done and annotated, despite his strong dislike for highlighters (they hurt his eyes, okay?)

What he doesn't know, however, is how your threat was completely full of bluff––but don't tell him that.

"It is so a big deal, for you at least!" Jake hops off the bed and lands on the wooden floors of Jay's dorm room so hard, Jay winces and sends a mental apology to the poor person who lives below him.

Jake suddenly gasps. "I have to meet her, Jay! As your best friend, it's practically mandatory that I meet her."

Jay opens his mouth to protest, but not before Jake interrupts him once again. "Oh! We can bring Sunghoon too, it'll be so fun! The best friends meet the girlfriend."

Jay can't think of anything worst. Jay imagines that bringing you to meet his best friends would just intimidate you out of dating him––fake dating him, that is. Obviously.

He stares at his friend in agony then back at the reading in front of him––the one Jake said he'd come over to help annotate, but the intention completely left Jake's head the second he heard about Jay's recent dating life.

"You don't have to meet her," Jay says pointedly. "Plus, you already know her."

Jake frowns at his friend's excuse. "Yeah, but that was in middle school! This is different."

Jay's hands shuffle through the reading's pages in front of him as he realizes there's no way the two of them are going to finish the assignment at this point. He supposes he'll have to save death by blindness from highlighters for another day and hope you still agree to go out with him.

Jake suddenly gasps in realization.

"Oh my gosh! Childhood best friends turned college sweethearts," Jake says so dreamily, he might as well plaster heart eyes on. Hopeless romantic, this one.

Before Jay can argue, the piercing sound of three loud knocks echo through the small room, followed with a:

"Jay, are you in? It's me!"

Jay stills at the sound of your sweet voice. He whips his head to Jake, who is also frozen in place.

But the widened-eye boy is quick to come to his senses––unfortunately quicker than Jay himself––because the next thing Jay knows, Jake's eyes are lighting up and he's running to the door, ignoring Jay's screaming whispers through this seething teeth that were somewhere along the lines of Jake––stop, I swear to god if you open that door I'm gonna fucking--

"Y/N!" Jake swings the door wide open, revealing an overly excited him and a frozen Jay half-way to the door, as if he was about to grab the very boy welcoming you in. It's as if we're living in a Sims game and the player clicked pause on this very moment.

Jake's eyes are wildly going back and forth between you and your supposed boyfriend, as if he was waiting for Jay to run over and smother you in hugs and kisses...or something couple-y like that. Jay wouldn't know.

"Uh––hi," you're awkwardly standing inside the room now, a relatively large paper brown bag resting in your palms as you look around for a surface to place it on. Jay makes his way to you without a second thought, quickly taking the bag out of your hold.

"You seemed stressed out earlier, so I figured I could bring you some food as a little pick me up. I didn't know what you liked, so I kinda just got a little of everything from the dining hall. Nothing fancy," you're rambling, but smiling so excitedly at him, Jay doesn't know what to say.

Instead, his mouth slightly drops open as he stares at you in awe, mostly because he's not used to being on the receiving end of such spontaneously generous actions––all while Jake's still excitedly looking back and forth between the two of you, as if he was expecting a marriage proposal to come next.

"Oh wow. Thank you. Really," Jay, still touched by your simple act of kindness, softly says as he places the bag on the limited amount of empty space on his desk surface––the rest of it is covered with his untouched textbooks and unfinished assignments. He wonders if you did this out of playing your role or just because you wanted to. He internally hopes it's the latter. "Seriously, you didn't have to do."

"Nah, don't worry. I wanted to," you shrug with such a genuine smile that Jay realizes he actually missed your smile.

Despite having seen you during your brief run-in this morning when you were fetching your morning coffee, Jay realizes he missed you. The two of you haven't been seeing each other recently because of your busy schedule and if Jay didn't realize it before, he's now sure he missed your company and presence around.

Weird.

"Well, you two have fun! Sunghoon needs me for something," Jake suddenly chirps from his place near the front door, halfway through with putting his shoes on already, breaking the comforting silence that fell between the two of you.

Jay frowns. "But you said you were free all da––"

"SUNGHOON IS CALLING BYE!" And before Jay can even register what's happening, Jake's out the door without another word.

"Er..sorry about him, he's...weird," Jay scratches the back of his neck as he returns to his spot on his bed, mentally setting a reminder to yell at Jake later for leaving the two of you alone. Jay doesn't know exactly why, but he's nervous at the fact that you're here in his room. It's not like you two are complete strangers––or whatever you guys were before––anymore. "Good job on your part, though. How'd you know Jake was here?"

"Oh uh, I didn't"," you let out an awkward laugh. "I just felt like doing it."

Heat rushes to Jay's cheeks and he's not sure 1) what this newfound feeling is and 2) how to respond, yet again.

Having expecting you to leave after dropping the food off, Jay's taken by surprise when you take your shoes off and come over to his bed to look at the pile of work he's spread out.

"Is this everything you have to do?" You question the stressed-out boy as you flip through the various assignments, readings, and essays he put off in the past week.

"More or less," he groans. This is no rare occurrence by any means––Jay being behind in his work––but this time, Jay realizes he may actually be in deep shit, considering he has no idea where to begin.

Right as Jay's expecting a scolding from you, he looks up to meet a look of sympathy on your face. "Well, I mean, I'm pretty much done with my day. I can try to help, I recognize some of these readings from last semester."

Jay thinks to himself that the universe has sent him an angel through the form of you.

"Really? Wow, you were't kidding when you said you'd be a good girlfriend," he sends you a surprised look.

"I'm just being nice, Jay. A concept I'm sure you're not familiar with," you remark back at him, causing his forming smile to grow into a laugh.

"I can too be nice! Need I remind you of who's paying you $500, covering all of our dates AND giving you rides to class everyday?" He remarks pointedly at you, a teasing look resting in his eyes as you're reminded of the first of many times he's come to pick you up before class:

~ ~ ~

You're late.

This never happens.

But then again, your life's been a series of unexpected occurrences lately. Such as the fact that you're currently known as Jay Park's girlfriend, for one.

You're scrambling out of bed once you take one look at your phone and realize shit, you're already late for class. Throwing on whatever articles of clothing your eyes land on first, you're already mentally groaning at the fact that you'll have to skip breakfast and run across your campus to get to said class.

Curse your professor for hosting her lecture at the furthest possible building away from your dorm. Curse the architect who decided to make your campus so large.

You're running down the steps outside of your dorm building's doors when you're abruptly stopped by a familiar sounding cough. You look up from trying to gather all your belongings together at once to meet the gaze of the source of the sound––Jay.

"Wow, you're a mess," he smirks as he gets up from the spot on his car he was leaning against to make his way over to you.

"Gee, thanks! Good morning to you too," you flash him a sarcastic smile before your default frown quickly makes it way back onto your face.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?" He grins as he grabs hold of your backpack to sling it across his own back as the two of you walk towards his car.

"Why are you here, Jay?" you sigh, your sarcastic tone hard to miss.

"To give you a ride to class, of course!" He's beaming at you, as if he's a pre-pubescent teen who just won their first girlfriend a prize from the arcade's claw machine.

Oh. That explains the car, you figure. Deep down inside, you're relieved that you'll no longer be bursting through the lecture hall's doors as a sweaty mess––a result of having to run across campus to get to class.

Determined to not let your satisfaction completely show, you resort with a little smile directed towards Jay as he opens the passenger door for you.

The second your enter Jay's car, the strong scent of coffee hits you, and your attention is targeted at the two small cups of coffee sitting in the cupholders of the car.

"Breakfast?" Jay asks as he enters through the driver's side and reaches into the backseat to whip out a small pastry bag. A small, deliciously smelling, pastry bag.

Okay, well. You suppose you could drop the annoyed act now.

Your eyes widen with joy as you grab the bag from him and open it to reveal your favorite breakfast sandwich. He's been taking notes, you'll give him that point.

"Okay, you win. Thank you," you grace him with a soft smile before taking a bite into the glorious gift in your hands.

"Of course, I was just feeling nice," he grins at you as he starts his car. "But don't get used to it." His tone is serious, but his smile directed towards you says differently.

And the fact that he still showed up to drive you to class the next morning.

And the next.

~ ~ ~

"And need I remind you who has to date your dumb ass for the $500 in question?" Your eyes narrow at the boy who can't seem to get that damn smile off his face.

Jay sticks his tongue out at you, ending the conversation. Really Jay? What are you, five? Well, mentally––probably.

You're looking around his minuscule dorm room for a place to sit down, and Jay can't help but feel embarrassed now that you're here, in his messy single studio room that pretty much reflects how Jay treats every other responsibility of his oh so hard life: neglected.

"Uh...here, you can sit on my bed," Jay immediately offers as he moves to the side to make room for your presence––and it isn't much, considering the university only provided him a twin XL bed which is definitely not built for two grown college-aged kids.

If you told yourself a few weeks ago that you'd be shoulder to shoulder on a bed belonging to the guy you cringed at the very thought of, you wouldn't have believed yourself. You wouldn't have believed yourself if you said you were actually glad Jay let you stay instead of kicking you out after delivering the food. Huh.

Weird.

"You know, this kinda reminds me of when we were kids. I always carried us through those horrible multiplication tests in the fifth grade," you wink at him as you settle in the spot next to him, hands grabbing hold of the papers in his lap.

Jay let out a laugh, nudging your shoulder with his. "Hey! The twelve times table is hard, okay?"

You roll your eyes at him––a habit of yours he's noticed whenever the two of you are together, but more recently, he thinks it's been more out of fun than annoyance.

He wonders why.

When Jay had first brought up the idea of bringing you as his date to his father's company dinner, you had expected a fairly fancy five-star restaurant with a formal dress code––for you've become accustomed to Jay's lifestyle. Turns out, your expectations can continue to be exceeded. Because what you had expected to be a simple dinner with a few other business men and women turned out to be an entire party, hosted in a hotel whose interior resembled something close to a castle (Or what you assume a castle looks like, as you've never personally been into a castle yourself, but this hotel is close enough).

Your eyes sparkle at the extravagant columns and diamond chandeliers hanging high above you, and Jay smiles at the expression on your face; like a little girl being brought to the amusement park for the first time ever.

"Wow, this is...wow," you mutter as you drink in the scene in front of you: people dressed in formal attire likewise to yours and Jay's, mingling and drinking what you imagine to be beverages that cost more than your entire life's worth.

Jay laughs from behind you, "Yeah the company goes a little...extra when it comes to these company dinners."

You scoff as you look up at him. "Oh really, you don't say?" You look around and you're suddenly aware of the many people surrounding the two of you and the attention you've acquired ever since entering the building.

"Jay, people are staring." You shuffle closer to him, your voice lowering down to a whisper.

"Well, it's not everyday the son of the company's CEO brings his girlfriend with him, so...looks like we'll be the talk of the party tonight. Smiles on," he winks at you, and you just know he's loving the attention the two of you are receiving right now.

"Jay Park? Is that you?" You hear a warm voice call out from behind the two of you.

The two of you turn around to meet the owner of the voice, a middle-aged woman dressed in an evening gown that matches the pattern of high-end brands you've been recognizing ever since arriving.

"Mrs. Lee! It's so nice seeing you again," Jay cheerily addresses the woman as the two of you bow in greeting.

You internally giggle at the thought of your Jay being so picture-perfect in the eyes of his father's co-workers.

"This is Y/N," he continues, his hand finding its way to your back, protectively resting it there as you go to introduce yourself. "My girlfriend."

You swear you feel goosebumps rise from where he's lightly touching you, and more so when he introduces you as his girlfriend.

You tell yourself it's just your nerves. Yes, that's it, you're just nervous. I mean, you're in a room filled with people who could easily pay off all your college loans with just a snap of their fingers, who wouldn't be nervous? Right? Right.

"Y/N! It's a pleasure to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you!" Mrs. Lee excitedly exclaims as you turn to Jay with a slightly confused look plastered on your face. He mirrors your expression as he shrugs, moving to stand behind you completely, bringing his hands to rest lowly at your hips.

His hands feel like feathers on the thin fabric of your evening gown, so light, so delicate, as if he's unsure if he's crossing a line. It leaves you wanting more, wanting to naturally lean against him and his warmth. You quick to shake the thought of your head as Mrs. Lee chirps up again.

"Jay's father is always talking about how you've been keeping Jay pleasantly busy nowadays! Good thing too, about time this poor boy settle down for someone as beautiful as you," the woman rambles on as you feel a blush creep up on your cheeks at the thought of Jay talking about you to his dad. If only they knew.

"We should probably go find our seats, I think the dinner is beginning soon," Jay says from behind you, saving the two of you from having to listen to Mrs. Lee's story of how she's known Jay ever since he was five years old and seeing him grow into this mature, loving, young man is so amazing. Oh look! I have baby pictures.

Yeah, he was more so saving himself from embarrassment.

The two of you bid your goodbyes before Jay gently uses the hand on your back to maneuver you through the crowd of socializing business moguls.

"She's not wrong, you know," you feel Jay dip his head so he's speaking near your ear, his warm breath tickling your earlobe, as the two of you make your way through the large foyer room.

"Hm?" You hum in question, turning your head up just enough to be able to make eye contact with him as he responds to your look of confusion.

"You look beautiful tonight," he says, eye contact not breaking once. You freeze in your steps.

You stare back at him in silence. Oh.

Your mind is panicking as it flips through your mental book of responses, unsure of what to say back. But because your mind is cloudy from staring at a put-together Jay in a dark navy suit to match your dress (mixed with the nervous butterflies in your stomach––have they always been there?), the only sound that's able to leave your lips is the small stutter of a:

"Huh?"

Wow Y/N, you had one job. A simple "thank you" could've sufficed! And you went with "Huh"?

You felt like a fifth grader who just learned from a friend of a friend of a friend that their crush likes them back.

"U-um. Mrs. Lee. What she said about you. You look good, really," somehow your nervousness made its way over to Jay now––his eyes flickering from yours to anywhere, anything, else in the room––the awkward tension growing tenfold each second.

Goddamnit Y/N, this is just Jay you're talking to, get a grip.

You're knocked back into reality when he slightly nudges your back to continue making your way to the main ball room, where the dinner is being held.

"Is that a compliment from the Jay Park?" Your smirk can't be seen by Jay, since he's still trailing behind you, but he can definitely hear it through your tone.

"Don't make me take it back," he chuckles, his words felt against your neck, leaving behind a tingly sensation you're not sure why you're feeling. You're glad he's behind you, so he isn't able to see the blush creeping onto your face for the second time tonight.

Jay gives a small nod to the people behind the check-in desk stationed at the entrance as the two of you waltz right into a large ball room lined with countless circular dining tables. So much for a small business dinner.

As the two of you approach one of the tables placed at the front of the room, you notice a familiar figure seated next to the seats reserved for you and Jay.

"Y/N!" Jake exclaims as he gets up from his seat to greet the both of you. "I'm so glad you made it, Jay was so excited to bring you tonight. Deadass would not stop talking about it."

Jay lets out a noise that falls somewhere between a cough and a goose being strangled, his widened eyes warning his talkative friend to just shut up. He's silently cursing the company for always seating his and Jake's family at the same table for these events.

"Aw, is that so? He's lucky he's cute or else I wouldn't have agreed," you grin, winking at your assumed boyfriend sitting next to you.

"Hey, YOU were the one excited to come! I recall a certain someone's face lighting up when I suggested we go shopping for tonight," Jay immediately retorts.

"Only because you were buying," you giggle, causing Jake to laugh as well.

"Damn, Jay. Tough," Jake jokingly adds as you laugh alongside him. The scowl sitting on Jay's face expresses the opposite of what he's feeling right now: warmth filling him up from the sound of your laughter and the image of you getting along so well with his best friend.

"I'm gonna get us some drinks, you two have fun making fun of me," Jay narrows his eyes at the two of you as he gets up from his seat. You bid him off with a smile before turning back to Jake.

"No but really though, this boy would not stop talking about you coming tonight. Then again, he doesn't really ever stop talking about you," Jake nonchalantly says, not knowing how much he was exposing his friend to you right now.

You raise an eyebrow up in response, "Oh really?"

"Seriously! I don't know what you did to him, Y/N, but this Jay I've been seeing recently is new. He complains a lot less about life nowadays, especially on the days he sees you," he leans back in his chair as his comment brings a smile to your face. Little does he know.

You stretch your neck up to find the boy in question and spot him right as he's returning to your shared table, two drinks in hand. You lock eyes with him from across the room and without a second thought, you're giving him a genuine smile that he's immediately returning.

Your heart beats faster at the view.

You wonder why.

It's 3:07AM when you hear the first ding.

You're not 100% sure as of why you're awake at this hour on a Tuesday night––perhaps a combination of your restless thoughts and feelings not letting you sleep plus the typical stress that comes hand-in-hand with the life of a college student.

It's 3:09AM when you hear the second ding, and you brush it off, assuming it was just Heeseung spamming you with memes again––something he does often when he also can't sleep (you found this out the hard way).

It's still 3:09AM when you hear the third ding, and at 3:10AM , you finally reach over and decide to acknowledge the being who's bothering you at this godforsaken hour.

Jay [3:07AM]: Y/N

Jay [3:09AM]: hi

Jay [3:09AM]: r u awake rn

Y/N [3:10AM]: unfortunately so

Y/N [3:11AM]: why are you up

Jay [3:11AM]: come outside

Y/N [3:13AM: jay it's 3am

Jay [3:13AM]: ye and? don't tell me ur a college student with a curfew

Jay [3:14AM]: plus im alrdy waiting for u outside so u have no choice

Jay [3:15AM]: :)

You groan at your bright phone screen currently illuminating your dark dorm room.

You ponder the consequences you may have to suffer tomorrow if you stay up any later than you already have. But considering the fact that you're probably just going to stay awake lying in bed for god knows how long anyways, why not?

(And you would like to point out that this decision has nothing to do with the fact that you haven't seen Jay in a few days and that maybe a tiny, tiny, tiny, part of you may have missed his presence. Nothing.)

And since that logic is obviously valid (you really gotta work on justifying your life choices), you're suddenly grabbing a hoodie from your closet and hoping it'll be enough to keep you, who's merely in an old band t-shirt from high-school and pajama shorts, warm.

The breeze hits your skin the second you open the doors to your dorm's building, and you're met with the view of Jay's sleek, black BMW that probably costs more than your tuition. He waves at you from the driver's seat, motioning for you to get in.

"To what do I owe you the pleasure at this hour," you deadpan at him with a stone-cold voice as you enter through the passenger's side door, hoping your tone was enough to hide the fact that you're giddy at the fact he invited you out at 3AM in the morning. Like a high-school girl sneaking out of her house to meet up with her bad-boy boyfriend that her parents dislike.

The second you enter his car, you're instantly comforted by the warm air blasting through his vents and his playlist softly playing in the background. Jay's pajama pants and messy hair give you more than enough information to know that he probably just rolled out of his own bed as well. You don't know why, but your view: Jay in his oversized hoodie with his unkept hair in front of your dorm building at 3AM on a Tuesday night, gives you comfort in weird ways you can't explain even if you tried.

But it's obviously just your cloudy, 3AM mind not thinking straight. Obviously.

"When I can't sleep, I go on drives around campus. It helps clear my mind," he says, looking over at you to give you a quick smile before starting his car. "Plus, SnapMap said you were still awake, so...figured you'd wanna join."

"Oh so what, you're my stalker now? You're not driving to the woods to kill me now, are you?" You tease, an eyebrow brought up. Jay lets out a laugh from beside you as he begins to drive further into your campus.

"Guess you'll just have to wait and see," he throws you a wink before reverting his gaze back to the road, mindlessly driving to wherever the road decides to take him.

A comfortable silence falls in between the two of you as Jay continues to drive endless routes around your campus. You look over to the boy driving next to you and take in his features––you don't know what changed, but you no longer feel the same anger or annoyance bubbling within you when you're around him. You're not sure when this changed, but you figure it's just the effect of desensitization. After all, you've been spending so much time with him, you're bound to get used to it. Right?

"Why were you up?" Jay finally asks after a few minutes of just the two of you silently basking in each other's presences.

"Ah, you know. The usual. Endless thoughts running through my mind, stress from school, nothing new," you sign, giving him a soft smile followed with a shrug.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

You answer him with silence as you search your head for the answer.

"I don't know. This is kinda weird, isn't it?" You don't know why you get a sudden surge of confidence, but before you can stop yourself, you find yourself rambling on. "If you had told me a month ago that I'd be here driving around with you when it's nearly 4AM, I would've laughed in your face."

Jay doesn't know whether to laugh or scoff. "Is the idea of hanging out with me that unappealing to you?"

You give him a serious look back. "I mean, up until a month ago when you needed me for whatever this game is, you literally pretended I didn't exist."

Oh. Awkward.

You freeze at your own words, mentally screaming at yourself for letting the words leave your mouth. Why, why, why.

"Y/N..." Jay says after clearing his throat after a few seconds of silence.

"No it's fine, it was a joke," you awkwardly cough and direct your attention to anything else around you right now. The view of your campus' buildings zooming by. The clicking of Jay's blinker when he switches lanes. The quiet roaring of his car's engine. The nervous tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel.

The rest of the ride is excruciatingly silent as he exits the main road and into an empty parking lot of some administration building made out of glass that has too many floors for you to count.

You don't know why you feel your heart beating in your throat as Jay puts the car into park––why you feel uneasy. You slightly turn towards him in your seat, hoping to pick up any sign of well...anything from him.

You don't know why you feel a twinge of guilt––it's not like what you said was necessarily wrong. If you were being honest, you were slightly bothered by how the two of you seemed to silently agree not to mention your past all this time. You were always one to seek answers, to seek closure. You couldn't help but bring it up––Jay was your best friend during those years. For him to just wake up one day and pretend you were nothing to him hurt you, and you couldn't help but still wonder what in the world you did to initiate his actions.

"I'm sor–" You're interrupted with his timid voice, as if he was almost afraid to speak.

"I'm not good with people." He's nibbling on his bottom lip, fingers nervously picking at a spot on the steering wheel.

You're opening and closing your mouth, unsure how to respond. You're 100% positive you look like a fish right now. Good for you.

"I don't know why. Jake calls it commitment issues but in order to have commitment, people have to stay in my life. And people just...don't. They're all bound to leave at some point. So what's the point of putting in effort into relationships if they're just going to leave you at the end?"

You're stunned by his sudden confession, not having been prepared for such a heavy topic to arise between the two of you. Up until tonight, your interactions had always been light-hearted and easy––you guys got along well. You didn't know this is how he felt all along.

But you knew where he was coming from.

You knew what Jay had gone through as a child––his mother having left him and his dad when he was young. You remember when your parents had told you the news at the young age of 13, and you remember the pain and sorrow you felt for your then friend. All you wanted to do was go to him and comfort him, but he had already cut you out from his life by then.

"Or maybe I'm the problem. My dad barely acknowledges my existence because he thinks giving me an allowance is all the parenting I need, my friends probably only stick around because they feel bad for me, you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for the bet, and, fuck, I'm literally known as the campus' fuckboy," Jay continues, falling deeper and deeper into the hole he dug himself.

He hates this, he hates opening up and feeling vulnerable, so he doesn't know why he's doing it now. He doesn't know why he feels comfortable voicing out his fears and worries when he's around you. But he does know it's a new feeling––one he doesn't know how to deal with.

"Jay," you lace your voice with as much comfort as you can provide. None of this is his fault, you want to tell him. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything," he says with a hint of bitterness and you can't tell if it's directed towards you or the topic at hand.

You're completely turned in your seat now to face him––despite the fact that he refuses to meet your gaze, afraid that looking at you is gonna bring out the most vulnerable in him. "You can talk to me. Talking about it makes it a lot easier. I'll always be here for you, as a friend."

Jay doesn't know what it is or why, but something in him snaps at the sound of a certain word falling out of your lips. Friend. Friend.

Friends don't make his heart beat nervously whenever he's around them. Friends don't keep him up at 3AM in the morning, pondering about his feelings for them. Friends don't provide him with this new, warm comfort he's become accustomed to whenever he's around you.

Deep down, Jay knows you didn't mean to add fuel to the fire. But because he's strong-headed, stubborn, and hates how vulnerable he feels next to you, he unleashes his emotions without thinking about the destruction coming along.

"It's none of your business, Y/N. Forget I said anything. You're just a toy for this stupid game and when it's all over we can go back to our own lives and forget this ever happened."

His sudden words cut deep, but they hurt him more than you. The second the words tumble out of his mouth, he's hit with the feeling of instant regret washing over him, and the lump forming in his throat restricts him from finding the right words to take them back.

The silence that falls between the two of you this time is different. It's a cold silence. A loud silence.

Jay feels his walls coming back up around him––the ones you managed to get through––and all he wants to do is apologize but he's terrified. Terrified of seeing your reaction, terrified of losing you again. For the second time.

You tell yourself he doesn't mean it. You tell yourself that he's just enduring more pain that one should ever receive.

But you also tell yourself that this wouldn't be the first time Jay leaves you in the dust.

You tell yourself that you're foolish for ever believing a friendship, or more, could come out of this act at the end. That you're so naive for feeling those stupid, stupid butterflies you've started to notice in your stomach whenever you see, or even think of, him.

"Okay," you begin with a firm tone. You're hurt, but you refuse to show it. You won't let him hurt you for a second time. Not again.

"Just...find me when you need me. As your fake girlfriend or just...me. I'm still here for you," is the last thing you say before un-clicking your seatbelt and leaving his car, beginning your walk back to your dorm hall.

Jay is unsure about many things in life. He's unsure about what he wants to do in the future, he's unsure of where he's going to settle in life, heck, he's unsure about what to have for lunch tomorrow. But he's sure about one thing.

That he's wearing his heart on his sleeve right now, and it's all because of you.

That you've become this new lifeline and he has to choose between holding onto you or drowning.

When Jay wakes up the next morning, his first gut instinct is to get ready to pick you up for class. But today's different. Jay doesn't know where the two of you stand now, especially after last night.

Jay doesn't know how to deal with this combination of unknown emotions he's been feeling lately. They didn't come out of no where, by any means, he realizes. They've been slowly growing over the past month of seeing you so often––like a plant he's been watering overtime, not expecting it to bloom into a flower so suddenly––but he figured it was nothing more than just enjoying the company of a friend.

Until he realizes that the term friend just doesn't suite you anymore––not to him, at least. And that scares him. It scares him that you've made him genuinely smile more in this past month than he ever has in his 19 years of living. It scares him that when he's around you he can't comprehend his own thoughts, his feelings. It scares him that you make him vulnerable, that you've changed him. That you've managed to make the walls that he's spent so long building and polishing to crumble with a simple tap of your finger.

In a perfect world, Jay would have already told you all this––he would be unafraid of how you would react, unafraid of your rejection, unafraid of losing this growing relationship with you. But alas, we don't live in a perfect world. And so when Jay drives to class that day, he drives right past your dorm building.

"Where's Y/N?" is the first thing Jake questions when he enters Jay's car that morning, confused by your absence, having been used to you being in the front seat every morning when Jay goes to give Jake rides to class as well.

"I don't know," Jay mutters, unemotional eyes focused on the road in front of him, not interested in continuing a conversation that involves thinking about you.

Jake hesitates as curiosity gets the best of him. "Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

Jay's hands tighten around the steering wheel of his car. "Or something. Let's just leave it at that."

There are a few beats of silence before Jake speaks up again.

"Well, I guess this works out because I wanted to talk to you about something."

Jay continues to stare straight ahead of him, focusing on just trying to get by without mentally beating himself up at the simple thought of you.

The simple thought of you and your smile. Your witty remarks. Your stupid eye rolls. Your laughter. Your kindness. So much for not thinking about you.

"I'm calling it off," Jake's words catch Jay off guard.

"Huh? Calling what off?"

"The bet. I'm calling it off. I don't care about the textbook fees I'll have to pay next semester. Look, fight or not, you and Y/N are good for each other, everyone can see it. And I really don't want this to end up being one of those messed up teen TV shows where the girlfriend finds out the entire relationship was based off of a stupid game and then they break up and the boyfriend falls into eternal sadness and regret. And I don't wanna see you sad, dude. So yeah! Congrats," although he's admitting defeat, Jake's beaming widely, just content with the fact that his best friend has finally found happiness through the form of you. "You win."

But Jay feels like the opposite of a winner. Because even though his only intention coming into this was simply winning the bet, his life isn't as simple as it was a month ago. Because he discovered something much more valuable than some stupid textbook fees or five hundred dollars or getting his physics homework done for an entire semester.

Something he's scared he's already lost.

You.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next time you see Jay is at the same time and place as when he first ever appeared to pick you up––at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building home to your awfully long Capitalism in World History class. This time, however it's different.

Because this time, it's one month later, and Jay Park is no longer a forgotten side character in the story of your life. This time, you're frustrated because it's been three days since you've last heard from Jay. And because it's been three days since you've last heard from him, you can't focus on anything else, and because you can't focus on anything else, you're falling behind on every other aspect in your life. Jay's somehow managed to become the center of your life without even having to be present.

Well, up until now. Up until you go down the steps of your lecture hall's entrance and look up to be met with a figure leaning on a car you're far too familiar with. You freeze in your steps as you make eye contact with the boy you've been thinking about non-stop for the past month three days.

Your mind tells you to walk away, to just follow your flight instinct instead of fight, to just go back to your normal life. But here's the thing. Ever since Jay's made his way back to your life, it's been far from normal.

And if you're being honest, you had no interest in going back to your normal life. Normal's overrated anyways. You find your legs bringing yourself over to him, your heart leading the way.

"Hi," you simply say, planting yourself right in front of him.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?" You already know the answer, but you want to hear him say it.

"Waiting for you," Jay doesn't hesitate in answering you. This time will be different, he tells himself.

"I can walk myself home, thanks," you state, but your actions tell differently, as you make no sign of moving from your spot in front of him.

Jay's mind contemplates telling you everything. About how he regrets that friendship-breaking decision he made that one fateful day in the eighth grade, about his true feelings, about how he first suspected these feelings when he was 11 years old and saw you in your fancy get-up for the sixth grade dance but put it off as a little crush, and about how the same feelings grew into something so, so much more in the present. But seeing that putting all these thoughts into words would involve more than one functioning brain cell (which is all he's convinced he has in the moment, for the view of you staring up at him, looking like that, has his brain short-circuiting), he settles with:

"He called it off. It's over. The bet."

"Oh."

Silence.

Okay, Jay. This is your chance. Say it.

"Is that it?" You lift an eyebrow, awaiting for more explanation. When it doesn't come, you slightly nod and start backing away. "I'll see you around then."

Is that it? Do the two of you just go back to your respective lives now? How can Jay do that, when he doesn't even recall what his life was like before you entered it––and especially when he has absolutely no interest in going back to that life?

Fuck it.

"Y/N!" He stands up straight, a newfound confidence taking over. This time will be different, he tells himself. Because now, he knows what he wants. For sure.

You turn towards him, to see him already making his way towards you, stopping in his steps when he finds himself close enough to you that he can't concentrate anymore.

"I'm sorry for ditching you in the eighth grade. I'm sorry for ignoring you since then. I'm sorry for dragging you into this stupid mess and for pushing you away and I'm sorry for calling you a toy. Because it's far from truth. I like you. A lot. And––and I'm scared. I'm scared of what this means for us, because I just keep messing things up and all I know is that I don't wanna wake up tomorrow and realize you're not in my life anymore and––"

"Woah, woah, Jay. Slow down," you look up at him, the corners of your lips threatening to curve up into a smile. "You're an idiot, you know."

Jay's never really confessed his feelings to anyone before, per say, so he doesn't really know what to expect. But he's watched enough Netflix rom-coms in this lifetime (which is still not that many) to know that hearing the words "you're an idiot" isn't what you're supposed to hear after pouring your heart and soul out. Surely not, right?

"I––I'm not sure how to respond to that," he quietly says, searching your eyes for a sign, for anything. You giggle at his sudden shyness as you grab both his arms and look at him right in the eyes.

"It's okay. I get it, if anything, I'm also scared. But you somehow got me wrapped around your stupid finger, and I hate it," you smirk at him, your hands slowly making their way up his arms to circle around his neck.

Jay's hands naturally fall at your waist as he lets out a breathe he didn't even know he was holding as he returns your smirk. "Well, I could say the same about you. And I also hate it, for your information."

"Hmm, is that so? I guess it cancels out then, right?" You smile at him as he's pulling you in so close, your head turns cloudy.

Jay grins at you, his eyes holding so much joy and endearment as they quickly flicker down to your lips before returning to your own eyes. "I guess this only means one thing then."

"Mm, and what's that?"

And before Jay can answer––and because your life's been anything but normal lately––you make the first move this time, moving your head up to close the small gap between the two of you.

His arms instinctively tighten around you as you capture his lips with your very own, and Jay swears he's about to lift off into space right now. He's on cloud nine, and he makes no plans to touch the ground ever again.

The kiss quickly becomes fervent, all the pent-up tension that the two of you had for one another finally finding its way out, all the words that were previously left unsaid finally expressing themselves. You don't even care if you're being judged by the conservative faculty members of your school right now, or by the looks of fellow students walking past the two of you.

You try your best to keep yourself from smiling as he continues to press his lips against yours, his hand moving to hold your chin, guiding your mouth with his.

Before you find yourself getting carried away, you step back to take a breath, resting your forehead against his chest as his hands rest against your back. He smiles at the sound of you giggling against him.

Jay takes a step back to take one look at you and realizes, in this moment, that change can be good. And he's willing to undergo this change. As long as it's with you.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next morning, you bounce down the steps of your dorm building's entrance to meet the wide, bright smile of your ex-childhood-bestfriend-turned-fake-boyfriend-turned-real-boyfriend waiting for you in front of his car, small pastry bag in hand. You smile back at him.

Jay drives you to class that day.

And everyday after that.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ :

✰ let me know what you think! if u made it til the end, mwah :') <3

[lovelychoso]

Getou think piece (ft. gn!reader)

okay sooo this is my first time posting a work on tumblr and who better to write about than getou ?? the man has been on my mind so much lately, I just had to indulge 🙃

this is a little think piece I have about him if the world of jututsu didn't exist. I wanted to start simple for my first time so it's basically just what I think he'd be like as a high school student

reader makes an appearance towards the end

just a little fyi !! reader is kind of a self insert here, so I hope you guys are okay with being an introvert haha (not shy tho!! just quiet)

reader is gn <3

______________________________

Depending on how you judge somebody's character, you may or may not be in for a surprise

Right off the bat, Getou is that super classy student

He's definitely popular yes, but not a lot of people know him in a personal manner

Most of the people he interacts with are acquaintances - he chooses his friends carefully

Obviously he's rich

Mf has to come from a rich family like it only makes sense

His parents must've made a name for themselves in the political world (they could be lawyers for example)

I wanna say that his parents are affectionate towards him, and they've always made sure to teach him manners, morals, and how to be kind :(

Values his family <3

If you take Getou's family background into consideration, you'll find that he's pretty smart

But not just any type of smart, he's like... the sexy type of smart 😩

He was exposed to books and literature at a young age

I take Getou as the type to be into classical literature (you know that thing most of us hate?)

Anything that is an expression of life, truth, and beauty... it's on his bookshelf

The man has already read every book assigned in class

"we're reading The Great Gatsby? I read that when I was 12."

Besties with Gojo obviously (who is also smart, how sexc of him) the two of them are superbly well known not only at their school, but other schools as well

Maybe they're a little trio with Shoko or Sukuna if you wanna add a little more spice ;)

I would include Nanami in their friend group too but let's be honest this man is anywhere Gojo is not 💀 I also love the idea that he and Haibara are still their underclassmen :')

OKAY BACK TO GETOU

People fall at his feet obviously

He's not a player tho, I don't take him as the type to screw around

He doesn't sleep around either, but he'll have an occasional hook up if he's in the mood for it

When he rejects somebody he's honestly super kind about, my bby doesn't like to embarrass people or make anyone feel like shit

He's a respectable man remember?

I feel like he's the type of person who would loveee to be in a relationship but he doesn't go out of his way to pursue one (same tho ??)

He's a go with the flow type 'a guy, basically it'll happen if it's meant to happen

Doesn't rush into things, prefers they develop on their own

Trust is super important to him

THIS MAN COMMITS - he wants a serious relationship (doesn't do flings)

prefers going out with people he knows and has built a level of comfort with – won't go out with a total stranger

To expand on that thought, on the rare occasion that he does ask someone out, it would be a person he's already accustomed to (a friend, classmate, or an acquaintance)

He puts himself and his boundaries into consideration before taking further steps

This man is literally the complete opposite of Gojo when it comes to dating oh dear god

He likes to attend parties

(and the three of them just so happen to get invites to a lot of them)

But Getou just uses them as excuses to hang out with his friends :)

He drinks but not that much (Sukuna on the other hand... damn 💀)

He does well in gym/fitness classes

He only tries out for his school's sports teams when Gojo and Sukuna do - he's not really into playing competitively

He still makes it onto them obviously

Prefers night time showers

Wears sweats and tshirts to bed

Always says goodnight to his parents <3

______________________________

(A/N - did anyone else have seating arrangements in highschool as well ? like one day you'd walk into class and *boom* your teacher has a new seating arrangement on the board ? that plays into this next bit with y/n!)

Getou doesn't mind seating arrangements but he still prefers to sit with his friends (unlike Gojo who pouts in distaste like a child)

Looks at the board to see where he has to sit and who his new desk mate is

He's seen this person around but has never actually spoken to them

Getou is an observant person however, so he recalls that this person doesn't speak much in class and is one of the quieter kids

Makes his way to his new spot and waits for class to begin

You show up to class about 10 minutes late with a note for your teacher excusing your temporary absence, he points to your new spot in the class and holy shit... it's a good thing you have a resting bitch face because honey... you are literally saliVATING at the greek god you were assigned to sit next to

OKAY BACK TO GETOU AGAIN

I'm going to be honest with you, he doesn't pay any mind to his new desk mate for about a week...

But you're okay with that ❤️

However you must know that Getou is honestly just the tiniest bit intimated by you

haha...

You can't blame him tho!! the rbf you wear makes him believe you'd rather be anywhere else but here so he genuinely doesn't want to bother you <3

But there's just one problem

Getou needs yesterday's notes because he took a sick day prior (and Gojo doesn't take notes for shit)

He waits for the teacher's lesson to end before turning to you

"Excuse me—"

And oh

Oh

Oh wow

Getou finds himself a little captivated because your eyes hold the most charming shade of (e/c)

"Um, sorry to bother you but I wasn't here yesterday and I was hoping you had any of the notes...?"

Getou braces himself for your reaction, secretly hoping he didn't piss you off 💀

But to his surprise, his normally bored looking desk mate only flashes him one of the friendliest smiles he's ever seen

a small "sure" escaping their lips as they flip through their notes

Getou shamefully sits in awe because why was he expecting a bad reaction from you? he honestly feels a little bad

Though... he can't help but lower his gaze to your fingers and ponder over how pretty they are as they grace across the pages of your notebook

"Did you want to copy them down here? or take a picture?"

His desk mate asks him in a gentle, friendly tone while making direct. fucking. eye. contact.

Getou feels like somebody punched him in the gut

"Just a picture is fine, thank you."

Getou scrambles momentarily for his phone, internally cussing himself for moving so ungracefully (I know this man moves like he's made of water)

"Thanks again."

Getou speaks more confidently this time, flashing you a pretty smile of his own in hopes that he'll get to see another one of yours. And maybe get to hear you speak again

One thing about Getou is that he usually gets what he wants

And this time was no different

"No worries." It was softer this time, and so was your smile

What the fuck just happened to him?

______________________________

As Getou lays in bed that night, he can't help but think back to what happened today

He has his phone in hand, looking at the photos of your notes

What lovely writing his desk mate has

He recalls the way he threw one last look in your direction before leaving the classroom with Gojo

The white haired man was telling him something, but he wasn't exactly listening

He was too busy trying to meet those eyes again

Those pretty eyes...

His mind was a blur of pretty smiles and his ears kept replaying velvety voices

Maybe he'll say hello to you tomorrow, and maybe he'll ask about your day

______________________________

A/N – I really hope whoever sees this enjoys! I don't expect it to reach a big audience because I literally have zero followers haha

Like I said before this is my first time uploading here so it's not much, I also just wanted an excuse to write about soft getou :)

He and y/n didn't interact a lot either but I wanted him to be the focus for this one. Plus I plan to write a part2 next week so stay tuned for that if you're interested!

Im always open to feedback and criticism, and if you see this please comment! I wanna know what you thought :)

Have a great week <3

______________________________

[sharkbait77]

Straight From The Horse's Mouth (Marcus Pike x gn!Reader)

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Y'all... For once I get to say none lol I mean look at the rating 😅 I guess some slight anxiety & smooches, I didn't even curse omg who am I 🤣 just fluff here bc I think we could all use it nowadays

W/C: 1.4k

A/N: Writer Wednesday!! 🥰 Was missing my Marcus baby after The Singer 😭 I'm not entirely sure how proud I am of this bc I was like half asleep but I'm throwing it into the pit anyway lol also very special shoutout/thank you to my wife @asta-lily for naming this fic for me bc my brain was too tired 🥺♥️ hope y'all like it! As always, thank you @autumnleaves1991-blog & @clydesducktape for keeping us involved & motivated to write! ♥️

Masterlist || Taglist

"C'mon, baby, please?"

"I-I don't know honey, I'm sorry, but I don't know the first thing about riding," Marcus stutters as he keeps his eyes on the majestic beast behind you.

"There's nothing to it! First things first, you gotta settle down, they can sense fear," you step forward to place your hands on his chest, the racing of his heart thumping against your palms.

Marcus Pike was not afraid to try anything new, but when it comes to something as adventurous as this, he prefers a controlled environment for the first go. Skydiving? Sure, as long as he gets a feel for it in one of those wind tunnels beforehand. Rock climbing? Absolutely, as long as he builds the strength for it and trains at a rock climbing gym. A horse trainer in a fenced-off field, for example, would settle his nerves in this particular instance.

"I just don't think it'll be a good idea, I'm too nervous and I don't know what to do, the last thing I want is to go flying off a cliff," he frowns at you.

The two of you have only been dating for six months, but your relationship is definitely on the fast track. You had already felt comfortable and secure enough with him to invite him back home to Arizona for the summer and he hates feeling like he's letting you down, especially being in your hometown. But the way you look up at him with those caring eyes, no judgement or anger at all present, he almost lets his true feelings for you slip.

"Okay Marcus, I won't push you to do anything you're not comfortable with," you smile, gliding your hands up his chest to wrap around his neck and you pull him closer to you for a kiss. "Hey, would you feel better...riding with me?" You ask cautiously and he winces.

"Is my FBI man really afraid of a sweet, little horse?” You tease and stick your bottom lip out into an exaggerated pout.

"Okay, first of all, ouch," he laughs and shoves his face into your neck, his nose digging into your pulse point and tickling you. "Second of all, she is not little, alright? And she doesn't know me, I'll probably spook her."

"Look, do you trust me?" You ask and he pulls away to look at you.

"Yeah sweetie, of course I do," he smiles and kisses your cheek.

"Okay, well I've been riding since I was twelve, and I've had Melody girl since I was thirteen. I trust her more than anyone."

"Oh really? More than me?" Marcus smirks and raises an eyebrow.

"Depends on the situation," you tease again and laugh as he digs his fingers gently into your side to tickle you. He pulls away quickly though, his eyes immediately shooting back up to the brown and white mare as she huffs a breath, having been startled slightly by your laugh.

"Okay, I won't ask anymore," you continue as you look at Marcus's scared face. "I'll just go riding alone," you pull away from him. "All alone," you turn around to reach a hand out to calm down Melody. "All by my lonesome."

"Okay, okay, fine," Marcus chuckles as he gives in. He's so screwed if he can't say no to you, even if he is scared shitless. Anything to see that bright smile.

"Yay!" You cheer, not as emphatic as you normally would so Melody doesn't startle again. "You're going to love it. There's nothing like this feeling."

~ ~ ~

After you promised a few minutes of riding around the stables on your family's land just so Marcus could get the feel for it, he felt comfortable enough to let you take him out to the desert. You certainly know what you're doing and, as time went on, he fully relaxed on Melody's back, focusing instead on the weight of your body pressed into his.

"You doing okay back there? You're not gonna throw up, are you?" You ask, chuckling the last part of your question.

"No, I am not going to throw up," he laughs and you lean your head back against his shoulder briefly before straightening again to keep your focus. "But… I have to admit you were right. This does feel great."

"I'm glad you're enjoying it, babe," you smile widely, causing Marcus to do the same as he hears the grin in your voice. He's only sorry that he's not looking directly at it.

You continue riding, slow and steady, while Marcus leans forward to rest his chin on your shoulder and he rubs your thighs softly and lovingly with his hands. It truly is an experience like none other he's had; there's something magical in feeling the heartbeat and breathing of the mare under his legs, riding one of the world's gentlest creatures, just like they used to – probably exactly where you're riding – once upon a time. He knows he'll have to bring up the idea of taking on horse riding as a regular hobby with you once you get back home.

Although he likes that idea, he knows the fenced-off field you'll end up having to ride in won't satisfy the feeling of being out in the open like this. Arizona is truly a sight of wonder, the red rocks and monoliths spanning out so far ahead against a pale blue sky that Marcus feels like he's staring at a painting instead.

The heated air actually feels pleasant against his face, perhaps due to the motion of the horse creating a larger breeze than it would if he were walking. All with the one he loves in his arms. Though he hasn't admitted that to you yet.

"Thank you for convincing me," he murmurs in your ear and chuckles in satisfaction at the shiver he feels course through your body.

"Well, thank you for trusting me. For trusting Melody," you smile.

You click your tongue and gently tighten your grip on the saddle with your thighs, pulling slowly on the reins until Melody comes to a full stop.

"Wow…" Marcus sighs, taking in the impressive sights before him.

So many rocks; tall, red formations as large as mountains. He can't help himself and pulls his phone from his pocket to take a picture. The phone camera doesn't do it justice, but he's hoping there will be many more visits to see your family in the future. Maybe even with kids? If he dared look that far ahead.

"Here," you call out, turning your body just enough to hold out your hand. He assumes you mean his phone and passes it to you and you open his camera app, changing it to selfie mode. "Smile!"

He grins automatically at your sing-songy tone, his large smile nearly making his eyes shut and you smile just as wide as you snap the photo, capturing the tall monoliths in the background with your silly grins at the forefront.

"I love it," you mutter to yourself while you set it as your contact picture in his phone.

"I love you, too," Marcus sighs.

"Wait, what?" You ask, turning your body as much as you can to look at his face.

"Wait… What?" Marcus flushes red, nearly matching the rock surrounding you.

His eyes go wide as he realizes what he just confessed, what just slipped from the secret safe of his brain and out of his mouth. His heart pounds in his ears and he stutters while you wait for an answer from him.

"Did you just…?" You ask – well, try to ask.

"I-I… Well… Yeah, yes I did," he breathes out, feeling more embarrassed than ever. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to blurt it out like that. I think I got lost in the moment," he says quietly, hoping you didn't think you were moving too fast in your relationship.

"But did you mean it?" Your voice goes soft and Marcus sighs.

"Yes," he smiles. "Yes I did. I love you," he repeats.

"Marcus," you reach back to grab his hand. "I love you, too."

"Yeah?" He grins and releases a laugh in a breath he had been holding.

He leans forward to kiss your cheek and you turn your head to kiss his lips, holding him in that position to share in this heartfelt moment with him. With the man you love. After only a few seconds, however, Melody neighs and both you and Marcus jump, Marcus wrapping his arms tightly around your waist while you settle Melody down.

"Okay, maybe we should head back now, I just saw my life flash before my eyes," Marcus declares and you laugh, squeezing Melody's sides with your calves to coax her to walk, turning back around towards the way you came.

~

Tags: @the-ginger-hedge-witch @asta-lily @honeymandos @pascalpanic @aliwritesfic @mandocrasis @hnt-escape @winter-fox-queen @barbossa2319 @sarahjkl82-blog @day-off-inkyoto @pedrocentric @astoryisaloveaffair @ezrasbirdie @danniburgh @foli-vora @lucrezia-thoughts @djarinsbeskar @chasingdreamer @quica-quica-quica @meesterblack @amandalovess @hunterofartem1s @pedro4ever @mishasminion360 @wardenparker @librariantothejedi @fan-of-encouragement @javierpinme @writeforfandoms @ew-erin @you-got-me-starry-eyed @quietpainter @beskarboobs @andiesturgss @maryfanson @princessxkenobi @castleamc @pbeatriz

Marcus Pike Tags: @rebel-fanfare

[nerdasaurus1200]

#i don’t know how to say this#neither are healthy and id argue neither are sisterly either#Vi did a lot of ignoring or at least not addressing Powder’s issues when they were kids#Both of these relationships are messed up by some kind of onesided attatchment#I personally think Cassandra has lots of gay subtext#regarding her feelings towards Rapunzel#while Jinx has… issues surrounding Vi that have gotten to a critical point#so. maybe also gay subtext there. albeit taboo#something about her obsession with getting rid of Cait and Cait specifically#you’re definitely right about Rapunzel trying to handwave away a lot of Cass’s issues though#both have issues w/ feeling inferior to the person they’re unhealthily attached to#which neither Vi nor Rapunzel really recognize properly forget about address#Anyways. I don’t see Cassandra as a sister to Rapunzel at all. They grew up separately and met as adults. They’re not related#Jinx and Vi have like the opposite situation lol#it’s an interesting comparison!#Vi is indeed trying. And that’s worth something#unfortunately she’s a. the wrong person to try and help b. completely out of her depth to actually do good#so I guess I don’t disagree that her approach is better than Rapunzel’s#but I wouldn’t call Rapunzel & Cass sisterly#and Jinx and Vi are sisters but their relationship isn’t? it’s not even friendly at this point#I do see Jinx’s actions @ the end of S1 like a parallel to Cass taking the moonstone#it’s an attempt to sever that relationship but in both cases the other party doesn’t want that to happen - @kombucha-drunk

Oooh yes, I've been waiting for someone to argue this.

I understand what you mean, but mind you I didn't say Vi and Jinx's relationship was healthy. I just said it was healthier than what Rapunzel and Cassandra have. Which is true because Jinx and Vi have never treated each other the way Rapunzel and Cassandra treat each other.

Second of all, Vi didn't ignore anything on purpose because she had literally no idea just how screwed up Powder was. Also, keep in mind that Vi was a kid too when the explosion happened. Do you expect a kid to keep a level head in a situation like that, finding out your entire adopted family is dead and your own sister is responsible for it? That's a ridiculously unfair thing to ask of Vi. Not to mention, like I said in my original post, Vi didn't know the issues and neither does Powder. It's impossible to fix a problem if you can't really grasp or define what the problem exactly is, and that is not the fault of either of them. However, Vi does desperately want to help by the time she's set free by Caitlyn. Literally as soon as she sees a trace of Powder (the flare scene), she gets there in RECORD time and INSTANTLY starts working to make things right.

Thirdly, gay subtext has nothing to do with either duo. That's completely irrelevant. Cass is not remotely in love with Rapunzel, the "gay subtext" is based on a lie. And Jinx is convinced that Caitlyn is trying to replace her as Vi's "sister" figure, the one she spends all her time with and trusts. And while Caitlyn does kinda fuel the rift between Jinx and Vi, she's not even close to the main reason they drifted apart and are still estranged.

Fourth of all, I understand that you don't see Rapunzel and Cassandra as sisters. I get it, a lot of the fandom doesn't see it that way. But they ARE on the most base level because they shared a mother. Keep in mind that family isn't always blood. Not to mention, Rapunzel has stated on two separate occasions that she thinks of Cassandra as a sister. Do I think the feeling is mutual? No, of course not. I think Cassandra wants nothing to do with Rapunzel and it'll stay that way for a long time. But Rapunzel thinks they're sisters and you can't exactly ignore that little nugget of information. I do agree with you to a certain extent that Rapunzel and Cassandra aren't sisters because Rapunzel shows little effort to actually treat Cass like a sister she loves, but I'm not gonna go so far as to completely ignore canon.

[tommytranselo]

Jesus Christ on a fucking bicycle your asks are. scary

Anyway tell me why you love the characters you love, y’know, for positivity’s sake -rottingmanifesto (my main)

oh my god is that a nice normal ask i see? incredible. this is about to be so long

vito partly because my favorite character archetype is sad, gay, doomed mobster with a complicated relationship with his father, and partly because the way he conceives of masculinity & maturity & financial security & success as essentially the same thing a) is... Oh Boy It Sure Is and b) screams trans to me, and partly because he's a very unique and well written protagonist–at first glance he might come off as a typical Cool Crime Guy™ (which a lot of fans mainly outside tumblr seem to read him as anyway, for some reason), but a closer look reveals...he is very much not. he lacks any real control of his life, he's very obviously joe's sidekick and not vice versa, he's so strongly coded as gay i cannot read him as anything else, he genuinely respects women (something i've found to be rare in the genre), he's been hurt over and over and yet he's so full of love for his friends no matter the risks, he has just...awful luck. he's naive, he's repressed, he's very emotionally damaged, he's stuck in a cycle of family tragedy, his downfall comes ultimately not from pissing off the wrong people but from trusting them. he doesn't know how to say "i love you" without saying "i'd kill for you, i'd bleed for you." that, i think, is his fatal flaw–he has all this love, yet he's unable to do anything good with it, either due to circumstance or because he doesn't know how.

joe because he served as such a fantastic co-protagonist and counterbalance to vito, and also because he's very well-rounded imo. despite coming off as the dumb muscle, he essentially operates as the brains of the main duo, he's clearly pretty street-smart and knows how to manage money, and he seems to have his shit together much better than vito or even henry–his plans are definitely better thought out than henry's (other than the marty incident oops) even if they get tripped up by random variables like the bomb going off early or brian o'neil...driving through a fucking window. he's definitely much more aware of and much less ashamed of his emotions, and he knows how to actually communicate them (there's an exchange i always think of where he and vito are on the phone at the start of ch 14, and vito says something snarky and joe bluntly tells him to quit it bc he's not in the mood, and vito immediately apologizes–i always liked that detail bc it makes it very clear their joking around is friendly and they do respect each other's boundaries). he's much more practical and can see the silver lining cause he's expecting clouds–it's his realism that makes him an optimist, which is basically the polar opposite to vito (his need for things to be perfect makes him incredibly pessimistic bc he's constantly getting let down). he's such an openly caring friend both to henry and especially vito, and he's by far the most openly physically affectionate of the three. both his fashion sense and interior decorating are incredible, and i like how he kind of serves as a symbol of success and by extension masculinity & maturity (from vito's pov at least) while having this very flamboyant style–he's really just out here doing his own thing and i respect that immensely. in terms of protagonist as in character who moves the plot forward, i'd say he fills the role more so than vito.

henry...idk man henry's just my boy. i love how they play him up as a role model and this super cool gangster who knows the business and then he's just a fucking idiot who screws up everything he touches. like the aloof wiseguy thing is such a facade. he throws a tantrum when he gets shot, his plans are really just "we'll do the thing and it'll work probably," he's so awkward (it took him a month to work up the nerve to talk to vito! come on), he dresses like shit! he clearly cares very deeply about his two friends in the entire world–he spared leo bc he couldn't stand breaking vito's heart, for crying out loud. and he's definitely a cold son of a bitch when he wants to be, but he's also a goofball in vito and joe's company and that's just endearing to me. he somehow strikes a balance between naive and disillusioned ("my father was a...man of honor," "if [falcone] can do it why can't we?" etc) and it ultimately bites him in the ass. he's terrified of being in other people's debt, something i assume came from the clemente family being Like That.

luca LISTEN I KNOW THAT'S WEIRD. i think he was a really solid villain and i say this all the time but "guy who is generally repulsive as an individual and definitely up to something but is ostensibly on your side for at least the time being" is such a good kind of character and i wish they'd done more with that! his reaction to vito's "people the president pointed his finger at" comment is extremely telling–he's laughing not bc he's impressed by the tough talk, but bc he sees how ridiculous it is (it's a "get a load of this guy" laugh). he sees straight through vito's naivety, he doesn't even remember his name in the slaughterhouse, and he makes both joe and henry visibly uneasy (the way henry shrinks in on himself when luca approaches their table in ch 4...telling). he's honestly kind of hilarious ("what, is captain shitbag here to save the day?") and whatever he had going on with clemente was super interesting. idk. i wish they'd done more where he was still on the player's side despite being obviously horrible.

tommy angelo my friend tommy angelo from the computer screen...he was my intro to the series, he's very calming, he's gender tbh, he's a good friend to paulie and a good husband to sarah (and no doubt a good father to his daughter).

paulie's just a funny little guy how could you not like paulie. he's a genuinely caring best friend to tommy and MDE gave him a lot of depth in terms of motivation and being haunted by his decisions (including, imo, bringing tommy into a life of crime). his plans are well thought out and he has a lot of big ideas but still no one takes him seriously, and his friendship with tommy is so strong bc tommy does listen to him. anyway. tommy angelo's malewife honestly

lincoln is a super well written protag and he strikes a good balance between being ruthless to his enemies and caring to his friends (and even to strangers). he has a lot of the same "violence (whether inflicting it or enduring it) as an act of service/love" stuff going on as vito does, but i think he handles it better. teddy bear that could kill you. the whole angel/devil on the shoulder dynamic going on with father james & donovan is super interesting too.

nicki...gay, rough relationship with father, hardass with a heart, the whole "fuck this town" thing...of course i love her. and fuck burke but that one quote where he mentions nicki being out quail hunting and says "for her kind they're always in season," idk...i think i see what he means and i like that about her.

alma's a badass tbh and her shirt is awesome (and she's funny; "do you think i could fit a shotgun under my pillow?") it's also touching that she definitely cares about vito despite complaining about him a lot.

[mindswriters]

Family Meeting - jj maybank × reader {one shot}

Summary: for the first time you decide to take your pogue boyfriend at your family's annual meeting, and let's say that your relatives didn't have the best reactions in the world.

Pairing: jj maybank × kook!reader

Warnings: language, underage drinking, mentions of hook ups?, "drunk" driving [IF YOU DRINK DON'T DRIVE]

Word count: 3.3K (is this big? idk)

A/N: hell yeah, i'm a shitty writer. Y/f/n means "your full name" btw

not my gif, credits to the owner ;)

****

Your surname is pretty infamous at the Outer Banks, your dad owns one of the biggest parts of Tannyhill, what makes you full kook. That's why you always lived in that shitty bubble wrap, you understand that living in the Figure 8 gave you privileges that you wouldn't have if you lived on the south side, and you hate the fact that everyone around you always pretend that everything is perfect when there are people to miles from there surviving from water and bread. But, as a blessing, a while ago your friend Sarah Cameron started dating John B, a Pogue guy who worked for the Cameron's, and you also started to hang out with them, and that's where your life started. At first your parents didn't liked your "new life", but they also did nothing to stop you (probably because they knew you would find a way to sneak out). You found your real crew with the Pogues, they were very receptive with you, John B is really kind and fun (way better than Topper, Sarah's ex boyfriend); Kie became your third musketeer, she's smart and is always there for you; Pope is your favorite nerd eveeer, y'all would be screwed without him. And last but not least, JJ Maybank, at first you thought he was cute, at second that he was a stubborn dumbass, and third? Oh, third you've fallen in love with him.

That's what brings you here, getting dressed for the Y/l/n's annual meeting at the Country Club, while JJ, your actual boyfriend is sitting on your bed with a messy hair and a clumsy suit. This meeting is nothing but a bullshit that your parents "require" you to go every year, you actually don't like it a lot, but today you are especially excited, you can't wait to see all your old aunts and envious cousins staring at you, when you arrive holding hands with your Pogue boyfriend. The most handsome Pogue of this island.

"Hey, J, which one is better, this one or this one?" you asked showing him your hands, each one holding a different pair of earrings.

"Hmm, this one." he pointed to your left hand with a smirk after carefully observed both the jewels.

You whispered a "thanks" and turned back to the mirror, putting the bright jewels on your ears. You were giving a last check on your marine blue dress, when you heard a knock at your half opened door.

"We're waiting for you kids." your dad tried to disguise the complain with a smirk.

"Sorry for the delay, dad, you know how long it takes for me to get ready." you pouted leaning on the door "But you and mom can go ahead, JJ and I will go with my car in a little while." you looked at your boyfriend and smiled when he waved to your father.

"You sure?" you quickly nodded "Okay then, see you there." the gray haired man sighed and went down the stairs.

"Thank you, daddy." you murmured but he definitely didn't listened.

"Can you just don't call him daddy when I'm around? It's kinda awkward." he slyly said when stood up from your bed.

You giggled rolling your eyes and walked towards him, looking up to stare his blue eyes "I never thought I would live to see JJ Maybank wearing a suit." you joked.

He just looked away and gave a shy laugh, while you delicately straightened his tie and collar. As much as you are excited, you don't see the same in JJ's expression, let's say he is not extremely comfortable in the middle of the Lion's den, as the Pogues call places with many Kooks.

"Come on babe, spit it out, what's wrong?" you ask kindly wrapping arms around his neck.

He shook his head hesitating to speak, but only with your gaze he eventually convinced himself that you wouldn't let it go unnoticed.

"Are you sure you want me to go? I mean, it's a family thing and-" he was about to vent put you stopped him.

"You are part of my family, JJ." you smiled placing a small kiss on his lips.

"Say it to your father, at this time he must be bad-mouthing me for the rest of your family." he complained snorting.

"So what?" you intertwined each other's fingers on both hands "Look, JJ, I don't care about what my father thinks and says about you, I just want to show up there holding your hand and telling everyone that you are the guy by whom I fell in love, and fuck what those idiots will think! It'll always be you." you sighed relieved after you vent all that was in your throat.

"Wow, unexpected PDA from my little girl uh?" you felt the heat blushing your cheeks, but he immediately filled your face with plenty kisses.

"I meant it, J, I meant it!" you both laughed when you tried to escape from his lips "Let's just go there and enjoy us, eat those weird foods, drink expensive drinks and if it gets too boring we can leave, okay?"

"Fine, fine, I'll go." he rolled his eyes pretending to be angry with you.

You held the boy's cheeks joining his lips lovingly and jumped up to the chair where your purse was hanging.

"I can't wait to see the faces of my envious cousins when they see me coming with the hottest guy on the Outer Banks." you sent a wink and asked him to follow you downstairs.

You drove all the way to the Country Club and when you got there you already saw all the chic decor and the other cars that were in the parking lot. JJ seemed to be nervous again, dangling his legs and biting his nails, but holding your hand before entering the party was what helped him to be calm. As soon as you took the first step, you were surrounded by the looks of everyone, some from close relatives who looked disappointed, and others from people you didn't even know were family members. Soon in the entrance hall you met your parents, talking to one of your aunts, when you were a child you gave her a loving nickname, auntie witchie.

"Hi dad, hi mom! I didn't know that half of Outer Banks was now our family." you teased kissing your parents cheeks.

"Less, Y/n." your father whispered discretely.

"Oh, Auntie Mary! How long I haven't seen you!" you greeted your aunt with an exaggerated (and false) smile.

The lady returned the smile but soon frowned as she spotted the messy blonde hair right behind you, even in a suit JJ was still clearly a Pogue.

"Let me introduce you, this is JJ, my boyfriend!" the boy politely kissed the top of your aunt's hand "I don't think you will need to worry about my relationships anymore."

You smiled confidently exchanging looks at the boy as your aunt seemed to analyze and judge every inch of him with a disgust feature. She looked at your parents and they just sighed and shrug.

"Y/n, darling, can I talk to you for a second?" you nodded in response and your aunt pulled you 2 steps to the side, which did not help from anything if she wanted a conversation reserved.

"What happened?" you asked as if you didn't knew what was coming.

"Is this boy really your boyfriend?" you nodded again, always smiling "And is he a-"

"A Pogue? Yes, he is a Pogue." you cut her even before she could finish the question "Any problem?"

"No, dear, but I mean, don't you think you should look some more? I don't know, someone here in Figure 8, with a good surname, I always thought that you would make a beautiful couple with the Cameron's prodigal son." you sighed thinking about a polite answer for the lady.

"I'm sorry, auntie, but you are completely wrong. I don't need to look anymore, JJ is definitely my lobster." you smiled leaving her confused with your words.

You turned your back politely and pulled JJ by the hand, with the intention of literally walking with him around the room and telling as many people as possible that this handsome blonde, mop headed Pogue is your boyfriend. While walking around the space you drank a few drinks, teased some people and received many, many looks of judgment. In addition to some cousins of yours commenting things like "I heard he was that crazy guy who shouted a gun at the Boneyard". But you couldn't care less, even more after some doses of alcohol.

"I need to go to the bathroom, stay here, it'll only take a sec." you gave a kiss on JJ's cheek before leaving him near the bar counter.

You were on your way back from the bathrooms when bumped into someone. It was Amber, she is your cousin, but you two didn't always get along. One time when you were 7, she threw your plush turtle in the pool and as revenge you stuck chewing gum in her hair. There was also the time when you were in 8th grade and she told your mom that you and Sarah went to Topper's house at night to drink vodka with powdered juice. Well, after that you have distanced and now when you meet by chance you pretend to like each other.

"I'm sorry!" she said with that annoying voice "Oh my God, Y/n, is that you?"

"Yes, cousin, it's me!" you smiled pretending to be excited.

"Look at you! You mean you have boobs now?" yeah, and my boyfriend loves them! okay, that's what you thought, in fact you just smirked raising eyebrows.

"Yeah, I think so. But you remain the same! Just with a little more chemical in the hair." you teased in the same mocking tone of her.

"Y/n/n, always so funny." she let a fake laugh and looked away "Damn, since when did the waiters from the Cut get so hot?"

You turned around and soon realized that she was talking about JJ, who was still leaning against the counter. As much as you were a little jealous for hearing her call your boyfriend hot right in your face, you were also proud to be able to tell her that he is already yours.

"Oh, actually he's not a waiter, he's my boyfriend." you smiled confident biting your own lip.

"Shit, don't mock me Y/n, you and that guy?" she laughed trying to disguise the wide eyes, Amber always made a point of telling that you were too ugly to get a boyfriend.

"Yep, me and that guy." from a distance JJ realized you were staring and then waved at you, who responded with your most proud smile.

"Ugh, I can't really understand what you and Sarah see in those Pogues, they're disgusting." funny to see how she changed her mind just in a few seconds.

"Let's say they're like that song."

"Song? What song?" she asked confused moving her gaze to you.

"You know, harder, better, faster, stronger, oh and add 'bigger'." you slowly said containing your laughter by biting the inside of your cheek.

She stared at you with a shooked look, and speechless. You must admit that the situation was quite satisfactory, seeing your dear cousin unresponsive on learning that you are not the ugly duckling as she always liked to say. You couldn't help but let out a little laugh, and then you excused yourself to return to your boy's arms.

"Who was that?" he asked when you leaned beside him on the counter.

"It's my cousin Amber, I hate her." he giggled and you fake smiled looking over your shoulder to see the fake blonde girl staring at you two.

"So what were you talking about?" he fixed your hair behind your ear gazing you.

"Nothing much, I was just telling her how is to be dating a 'dirty Pogue'..." you teased bending to whisper on his ear.

"Dirty Pogue, huh? And how is it like?" he frowned with a mischievous smirk.

"Well, it can be so many things, and I would risk to say that "dirty" is one of them." you smiled biting you lower lip with your eyes fixated on his blue ones.

JJ smiled back and moved his gaze to your lips, quickly kissing them and moving his wet lips to your cheeks, until reach the sweet spot behind your ear. Fuck, this is pretty good but let's say that the middle of your family meeting isn't the right place for you guys do it.

"J, stop, not right now." you giggled raising your eyebrows and softly pushing him away.

"Why not?" he pouted with puppy eyes.

"Because all my family is seeing us?" you used an obvious tone, 'cause it was obvious.

"Maybe we could sneak out?" you narrowed your eyes thinking about his proposal.

"Soon, first we'll show that people how we move on the Cut." you answered when heard one of your favorite songs playing outside.

You dragged your boyfriend by the hand until you reach the middle of the dance floor, at first he was kinda shy, but being with you makes him feel more comfortable, and as soon you both were already moving your bodies like no one was around. Laughing, drinking and kissing, you were stealing the show, this until you feel someone tap your shoulder and when you turned, you faced a man who was probably the photographer, since he held a professional camera in his hands.

"Excuse me, are you Y/n Y/l/n?" he asked politely.

"Yes, why?" you frowned holding JJ behind you.

"Oh, they're looking for you to take the annual family picture, can you follow me, please?" he pointed to the entrance hall.

"Ah sure, come on baby." you nodded bringing JJ with you.

When you reached the hall everyone of your family was there posing and waiting for you, soon you found your parents on the left side and before joining them, you stopped to straight your hair and JJ's bow tie. When you had just finished fixing his suit, your dad stopped you by your shoulders.

"Y/n, sweetie, I know JJ is important to you, but I think it's best that he doesn't appear with you in the official photos." you frowned when your dad moved his gaze to the blonde right behind you.

"Wait, what are you talking about?" you snapped with a bit angry tone.

"It's nothing personal, honey, it's just 'cause you know, you’re still young and he’s just your boyfriend, we don’t know if it will last long." your father said making you chuckle shooking your head, that's unbelievable.

"Nothing personal, right? So why can Andrew's girlfriend appear in this stupid picture and JJ cannot?" you stormed pointing to your cousin and his girlfriend already posing to the camera.

"Y/n please, don't make a scene." you dad sighed when noticed that everyone looked at you.

"Is because he's a Pogue, isn't it?" you asked with anger burning your face.

"Y/n it's okay, it's just a photo." JJ tried to calm you down and leave it, but you didn't listen.

"You see, sweetie, it's not a big deal." and you're also sick of your dad pretending that everything is perfect.

"You know what? You guys can keep with this Kook bullshit and take this fucking picture, but I will not be part of it." you said confidently causing JJ to giggle behind you and your father give you a pissed gaze.

"What the hell you think you're doing, young lady?" your dad murmured holding your arm carefully.

"I'm throwing off my chains." you stepped back confronting him.

"Y/n, darling, stop it! You're embarrassing me and your father!" your mom shout out when she noticed that you were about to leave.

"Whatever! I'm already the family’s shame!" you shouted taking a few steps back until reaching JJ, who have a proud look in his face.

"Y/f/n! Come back here! You can't do it!" Y/m/n shouted one more time.

"Yeah, but I'm already doing." with a twist on your own feet you answered back while stealing a drink from the waiter's tray that passed by.

At this time everyone is looking at you with wide eyes, your parents flushing in anger and JJ, oh JJ is paralyzed with a huge smile on his face, he's so proud of seeing his badass girlfriend facing everyone to defend him. This was something you wanted to do a long time ago, and a family meeting seemed like the perfect time for you to throw everything up in the air. And that is what you did.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" you stopped making exaggerated expressions "Auntie Mary! You should find your own husband before give hunches on my boyfriends!" you said with a soft tone pointing to your old single aunt standing a few meters from you.

"Y/d/n, you should fix your daughter!" she yelled angry.

"And Amber!" the fake blonde jumped when she heard her name "Cousin, you should try to hook up with a Pogue anytime, they're so fucking hot!" you smiled biting your tongue and looked to JJ, who let out a big laugh and soon disguised because of your father's gaze to him.

Everyone was staring at you and your parents with jaw dropping, you always showed some personality differences compared to the rest of the family, but no one ever imagined you were that bold. Okay, the drinks helped you do that, but they say that when a person gets drunk is when she shows who she really is. And this is you for real. While hearing comments like "How absurd" or "This is a shame", you poured your entire drink in a single sip and dropped the glass on the floor, hurrying to leave that shit party.

"Come on, blondie, are you with me or what?" you raised your eyebrows calling JJ to follow you. He looked at your parents and they gave a serious look to him. But he didn't care right now.

"Sorry, Mr and Mrs Y/l/n," he laughed stepping backwards "your daughter is crazy!"

He shouted shooking his head and turning around to run towards you. You both laughed and you waited for him to embrace you at the big front door, you explicit kissed and left everyone behind, running hand in hand until you reached the parking lot. Inside of your car you two waited for the laughter to lose their strength to catch your breath.

"Oh my God this was insane!" you smiled heavy breathing and looking at the blonde on your passenger seat.

"My girl is a huge badass!" he pulled you for another kiss, this time it was longer and full of proud and desire.

"Okay, your place or the Chateau?" he said breathlessly, pulling away and looking at you.

"Definitely the Chateau. And hope John B isn't home." you gave a nasty smile and started your car.

You're gonna be dead when you see your parents again, but it's fine, still worth it.

[softyairs8]

I'm C sag, scorpio rising.

Your reading made me cry and smile at the same time 😭 I cannot believe that you got that there might actually be someone for me! That in itself made me so happy and then reading your reply...it was just perfect!!!

"You may have been feeling like you're not meant to be with anyone, but you are. The universe has taken you through many people to teach you how to love yourself. The person is coming. You both just really had to heal before you could become one." ---- This. This part is soooooo true. 99% of the times I'm convinced that I'll die alone 🙈, but the rest 1% of the time when I'm in a good mood I always think to myself that it's taking so long so that both of could become best versions of ourselves before we meet each other. I've been so insecure about myself all my life, childhood traumas, abusive family, and what not, all of it has just screwed me up permanently I guess. The part about self-love and healing is so SO true. I don't think I can ever think highly of myself, but now at this stage/age of my life, I'm definitely learning to accept myself and not be so critical of myself. With each passing day I find myself becoming ever so slightly comfortable with myself physically and mentally.

"Your fs will bring out your inner child. You'll go on adventures, connect on a soul level, deep conversations, fast food at 3 am, vacations to places you've never been before and coffee shops. Your life and relationship with this person will be so eventful." -- This is so cute. I've ALWAYS been the rule follower, and due to my severe anxiety I've never been able to do anything at all really. Even going out of home is a big deal for me..so it'll be nice to be able to enjoy this part of life with someone :)

"You'll think they're very attractive, haha!" -- that's good to know 😆 I hope he thinks the same way about me.

"They'll also be very protective over you, but not in a controlling way. Your fs has a very masculine energy to them." --- I love this. A lot! ☺️

"They could be the CEO of a company or have a very high level in their career. They could also own their own business." --- wow really? 😃 I'm gonna take it to mean that the guy is also on the older side (like me). I like that a lot coz I just don't feel attracted to younger men 🙈

"I'm also getting that they will treat you like a queeennnn. Oh my gosh, your fs is so respectful, understanding, kind, and comforting. As cold as they look, they're a warm teddy bear inside!" --- 😭

"They LOVE cuddles! Physical touch could be one of their love languages." --- I love this so much!!!

"Aside from the formal side of them, they have some pretty fun hobbies!" --- I am SO boring! So I'm totally looking forward to his fun hobbies 😀

"They could love photography, and I also see a stack of pictures. You both could take millions of photos together!! They could also love having weekly karaoke events, haha! They're quite the singer!!! Why do I feel like there would be so many late nights where you both just have karaoke nights at home." --- oh gosh I'm so insecure about my appearance I must've taken only about 100 or so pics of myself in the past decade! So this is something to looked forward too :) I definitely can't sing publically, even when alone at most I do is hum, but it'll be sweet to be serenaded 🙈

"It could even be carried out to when you both have a family!" --- so we WILL have a family! My heart ❤️😭

"Someone here could like the show Friends? That came through." --- omg yes!!! I have Friends on my laptop and since I stay alone so I play it in the background all day long everyday while doing chores. I literally remember every dialogue 😋

"For important months, I got November, December, and March; these could be significant! They could be birth months, the time you'll meet, or an important stage in your relationship." --- How awesome would it be if these are the ongoing/upcoming months :) But even otherwise, December is my favourite month of the year so I'm very glad it made the cut! :D

"For letters, I got A, R, D, Q, and M. These could be initials, places, or months as well!! Also, there is a lot of earth and water sign energy here!!" --- My Venus is in Capricorn and Mars in Scorpio, so.....yeah 🙈 which is ironic since I don't have much romantic experience but that's okay 😅

Thank you so so SO much for this reading!!!! I was really not expecting such a heartfelt reading. You've made me so happy 🤗 I really can't thank you enough!! I really wish the best in your journey and I hope your intuitive talents grow and get you all the success you deserve! I'm so grateful to you! I'll definitely be hopping in your inbox again if you have another game open 🙊😋 Thank you so very much again :)

OH MY GOSH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE DETAILED FEEDBACK! you're so sweet omg omg omg!!! I'm honestly so glad that it resonated. I remember, while doing your reading I felt so jumpy and so happy for you! MY HEART WAS MELTING. your fs will be so spontaneous and unpredictable, like a breath of fresh air!! honestly just keep faith and keep believing, that person is coming to you. remember to love yourself! message me if you ever need anything!! this made my day, thank you so much for the feedback. I'm so so so so so glad I could help!!! 💞

[shiro-0197]

Heyyy love!! Please hold me back I'm gonna fight your pillow >:( tho I am glad you're better. It's good that the pill and water helped :) cheese and Netflix sounds so good right now, what are you watching?

I really understand that, at least you'll get to celebrate it with more people, and that's already such fun. I also had a thought. When new year's eve finally rolls around, Malaysia will be in 2021 two hours earlier than Kazakhstan. I'll be sure to message you during that time period, 😝😝 aaaah that'd be so cool, dont you think?

Omg that is really cool, so it's like adding oc's in the storyline!!! 😣 Kouki Yoshido and Aito Okada sound cool, I already like their positions 🤚😼 and that requires a lot of planning, I'm sure it'll keep you guys busy (in the best way possible, because it's also fun to work on stuff with your friends) tho noooo, please don't say that, I love hearing you talk about stuff, and something you're passionate about like this? Yes please my heart is MELTING 😣💖 makes me love you all the more (which I didn't think was possible ;-;)

omg then you'd love a dish we have here!! I had it earlier, which is why I asked you that question. it's called "pan mee" and it's like, SPICY noodles, with dry chili, pickles, egg, and minced meat and it's so good 😭😭 (and yes I ate it for lunch! Proud for not skipping today xD) tho yes since it's both spicy, and noodles, I think you'd like it. It's a dish native to the Hakka Chinese, and since my grandma was Hakka, she loved it too. Just googled plov. It looks epic :>

aw that cafe sounds wonderful. I really hope you'll someday find it again, and be able to try the green tea :) tho I totally agree with what you've said about pizzas and quiches 😣😣 they finish wayy too fast and before you know it, the whole pizza is gone :<

ahhh Molly sounds like such an adorable name, you must've had a great time with the parrot. (He sounded like such a darling...) It's a shame :( I'm sorry to hear that >:(((

omg that logo was so pretty! The blues 😍😍😍 Here's ours... It's transparent too, so I hope you can see it xD (Leo stands for "leadership, experience, opportunity" which is lame ik😣 but oh well— we're basically a social service club with a whole lot of protocol)

AHH yes Rowling just makes all potterheads look bad. I loved the series ever since I was really young, and I've read the books multiple times, but the author as a person?? Nope. 🙀 I also had a project presentation earlier, and I'm v sure I screwed it up but uh nevermind 😭😣😣😣😣

That gif nooooo skjdksks too cute. And omg what you smile when you think of me? Combusting rn, that's so sweet I'm flustered

I love you so much :)

—Ari

Helloo!!

Ahah, sunshine, would a hug hold you back?^^" Please dont fight my pillow, its ruined as it is now hehe~ really though, the kids messed it up so bad😩

I'm watching Alice in the Borderland, you might've seen Kuro watching that in his stories too, (I checked the name in google and apparently it's also a manga😳 might read it later) It's pretty cool, I only watched two episodes but it's already awesome. It's a good watch, though theres blood and death and sexual scenes, so be careful~

I didnt even think about that, haha! I'm looking forward to it♡^з^ I'm sure itll be amazing!!

I'm really glad you think so, surprisingly those two are my most treasured children😩 even though I wasn't the one to create them XD still I think they're nice little kids. I'm hoping we finish the team soon so I could show you each of them😭

Ehhh I'm glad to hear that~ Its the only passion I have at the moment, and ... did I say that already??? I think I did. Or??? Either way, its really dear to me, and tbh if Liza wasn't busy we'd probably finish it all a lot quicker:( I feel bad cuz shes got a strict mom, but when we're on call they seem to have a pretty good relationship aside from when they're commanding her, so I guess it's not as bad as I thought. Still, she's busy, and barely finds time and place to draw.

Sorry, I'm gonna carry on about Liza for a little bit, because I'm really proud of how shes becoming lately--- I moved out of town a few years ago, maybe three or something, and to be honest I haven't really expected her to improve so much?? It's still got a few problems, but to be honest, the first time I saw her drawing I almost cried because I felt so proud, as I was the one to actually help her with the basics. I guess that's what being friends with artists does to you, but still I got really emotional when I first saw her improvements XD

Oh my god, SPICY NOODLES?? PICKLES????? EGGS????? MINCED MEAT???? SIGN ME THE HELL UP I AM ON MY WAYYYY I am definitely cooking you some plov and I really hope you like it😭😩

I hope so too!! ~and it especially sucks when you're in a big family, Kuro's been crying about how he got one slice of pizza when the kids ate everything every time💀 makes me wanna adopt him even more tbh JSHDJSJD

He was!! That month was hard because my dog also died, I miss them all so much🥺

OH it looks so good!!! The abbreviation (is that the word😭) is really cool too?? I love the lions hehe, big hairy cats go grrr

True true true, I absolutely can't stress enough how much struggle it is when the author is a bad person. I've been listening to a group, but the leader is an abusive/manipulative prick apparently, so the songs are like a guilty pleasure. I literally cant stop listening to them cuz their songs are the most relatable thing I've ever heard, but yet, it's sad to see that the one who wrote them is not a good person :<

Oh, I'm sure you didnt? I dont know the details though, but even if you did, please dont worry!! I'm sure you got the point through, and that's what's important:) No one can do everything perfectly, so dont stress about it<3

Hehehhe, no way, you're cuter😠❤❤ of course I do, your messages are one of the main sources of serotonin for me😝💞

I love you too!! Hope you're doing good<3