#but it’s usually good news or fun stuff i actually want to engage in

[fatestitcherr]

ouughh we love a 10 hour sceeen time day. first time i’ve properly doomscrolled in a while and i can feel it in the way i want to punch something

[melsbabydaddy]

nsfw slc headcanons cause it’s 3 am and im restless 👍

+ these are all completly self indulgent and i can have fun cause i can

warnings: nsfw talk (mdni), slight mention of weed and alcohol, talk of several kinks, i wrote this for myself

abby -

human embodiment of “damn u on the edge of the bed u bout to fall off”

she gets sooooo nervous and fidgety

easily flustered

but i feel when she gets used to someone, she gets more confident. she’ll be more likely to engage in stuff.

her strap hangs

not really kinky but likes hair pulling (both giving and receiving)

probably also something to do with spit

loves the bond of having sex, being so close and vulnerable with someone

her head game is immaculate 100/10

talks them through it in that low, breathy voice of hers

owen -

despite what most think, i don’t think owen is bad in bed lol

boat scene was at a really inconvenient time and a spur of the moment

normally, he’d be very careful when with someone, last thing he wants to do is hurt them

def makes cheesy jokes and gives sappy compliments while doing it

eye contact is everything to him

gives a lot of neck and chest kisses

likes when his back gets all scratched up during

does it deep and slow until he’s about to cum then he kinda rabbit fucks cause it feels so good

the aquarium is his favorite place cause it’s safe and romantic

prefers making love over just fucking

manny -

man has experience

whispers and moans in spanish, mainly cussing and praise

has a tongue and fingers that have people seeing stars

a considerate gentleman

has a whole box of love letters from his various partners

very big on consent, never wants to pressure someone into doing something

either has a good supply of protection (if it’s somehow available in the apocalypse) or has the strongest pull out game ever

will never turn down a blowjob and always returns the favor

long, breathless moans when he cums and his body always completely stills

gives the other crew members sex advice

mel -

could never fuck while a dog was in the room, especially alice

big giver, often forgets about her own pleasure cause she so focused on the other person

so squirmy when she gets head, literally have to hold her down by her hips to hold her still

lowkey probably has a breeding kink

not in a freak way but in a “i like the bond of family and crave the security” type of way

gasps and squeaks more than actual moans cause she afraid of being too loud

alcohol makes her flirty and frisky

secretly likes being bent over and flipped around like a doll

cums super easy, like to the point she’s embarrassed

squirter

nora -

focuses more on her job but every woman has needs

fucks causally and tends to avoid romance cause that’s too much drama for her

very direct and honest about this

likes to be worshiped

will do it back, but she expects it first and they have to earn it

loves riding someone’s face, enjoys having control as she gets eaten out

fucks slow but hard

quickies in the med tent when it’s empty

low, raspy praises and directions

usually gone by the morning after a one night stand

jordan -

canonically grunts a lot and is loud

does not care one bit that people can hear

eats pussy for his own pleasure, often causing overstimulation

likes having his hair touched, tugged on, and petted

praise gets him weak, tell him he’s good boy and he fucking melts

will never admit that to anyone

whimpers and gasps when he cums, also bucks his hips a lot

likes it rough and hard unless he’s feeling lovey, than it’s fast and passionate

deep, messy kisses

has taken the strap before and loved it

leah -

also canonically loud

probably a loud moaner and a screamer if it’s real good

100% takes dirty pictures and keeps them under her bed and uses them to masturbate

loves having her tits sucked on

very experimental and likes to try new things she sees in old magazines and movies

queen of giving aftercare

covers her partner in hickeys, wants to mark them everywhere

absolutely feral when ovulating

cowgirl position is her fav

can cum like 15 times in a row

nick -

loves slow, hip rocking fucking

close, tightly pressed, skin against skin is the best for him

cockwarming >>>

lots of low grunting and moaning

says “just the tip” a lot and it never is

the beanie stays on

thinks fucking while high is best thing in the world

def fucks on really slow patrols and stake outs

always finishes on the chest or in between the thighs

has been in a surprising number of threesomes

pls tell me if u like this so i can have an excuse to write and post more 🙏

[steddieas-shegoes]

Steve Harrington having a stutter? maybe Eddie and Steve are in an interview after revealing their relationship to the public (kinda ties with ur rockstar eddie drabbles?) and people make fun of his stutter. Hes always had it, he just doesn't talk in public so its a surprise to everyone that he has a stutter and that they actually get to hear his voice

So I know the request said he always had the stutter, but I wanted to do something head trauma related for this because Eddie is gonna get a little overprotective and says some stuff about his very amazing husband to be. I've never written a character having a stutter before, so I hopefully made it realistic. In my head, he struggled with some hard consonants and 'th', 'ch', and 'sh' sounds. - Mickala ❤️

------------------------------------------------------

“Everyone please give your warmest welcome to Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington!”

They walked onto the stage with smiles and waves, hands clasped between them as they walked to the couch they’d be sitting on for their interview.

They chose this talk show host, Hannah, because she wasn’t pushy, asked heartfelt questions, and wanted to get the genuine stories out there.

Steve had been nervous to be on any talk show, so he was the one who made the decision to be on this one and Eddie was happy to oblige.

Her viewers may not have been his usual crowd, but if it made Steve more comfortable, he didn’t really care.

“Wow, that was a warm welcome!” Eddie exclaimed.

He wanted to keep it light; Steve’s hand in his was sweaty and shaking, and he knew Hannah could see his nerves.

“I think everyone is just so excited to have you here! You’re not our usual guest, I’ll be honest, so you’re shaking things up for all of us.” She smiled before looking at Steve. “Now, let’s get the elephant in the room out of the way first. Steve, that ring on your finger sure is a beauty!”

He glanced down at it for a moment, smiling to himself.

Eddie proposed a month ago, on their week-long getaway to Greece, and as much as they tried to hide it, it was on the cover of every tabloid and online news article within 24 hours.

They hadn’t even come out officially yet.

It caused Steve to panic, and then Eddie panicked, and then they both decided to take control of their own narrative and do this interview.

“Th-thank you,” Steve replied. “Eddie did g-good, didn’t he?”

Steve’s stutter was barely noticeable when they were in a comfortable environment, especially since they’d been together for so long. But when they were in a stressful situation, or around new people, or both, it became more obvious.

Steve had already spoken to Hannah about it beforehand, said he wouldn’t mind talking about it as long as it wasn’t the focus of the interview. She agreed and said that she would follow his lead on everything, and Eddie warned her he wouldn’t hesitate to walk them both off the stage if Steve got uncomfortable.

“He did great! Honestly, I’ll have to get you to show my husband how to pick an engagement ring. Bless his heart, he tried. Luckily, we married for love and not his ability to know what I want in a ring.”

The audience laughed, and Steve couldn’t help letting out a small giggle.

“Soooo…tell us how he did it!” Hannah continued, eyes glimmering under the stage lights.

“Um.” Steve took in a shaky breath. “We were at a p-priv-vate d-dinner on the beach-ch.” Eddie squeezed his hand once, smiling over at him as he let him lead. “He s-sang me a s-song and th-then proposed.”

“How romantic,” Hannah rested her head in her hands and sighed. “Everyone in the audience is going to show this to their significant others for them to take notes, I’m sure.”

“He left out the part where I also bought him the fancy wine he wanted only for it to be the worst thing we’ve ever tasted and we ended up giving it to a couple further down the beach,” Eddie added, playfully nudging Steve’s shoulder.

“Yeah, w-well,” Steve shrugged, blushing profusely.

“What a letdown! Hopefully the other couple liked it,” Hannah laughed.

“They didn’t complain, but honestly we didn’t stick around for too long. We were freshly engaged and had much better things to be doing,” Eddie winked at the audience.

“Oh, I bet you did!” Hannah smiled before getting more serious. “So you’ve been together for a while?”

“We were friends when we were really young, and it grew into more when Steve was supporting me and my band in the local bar scene. We’ve dated for almost four years now.”

“Awww. And you’ll be getting married pretty soon, right?” Hannah asked.

“Yes, we d-decided on next March-ch,” Steve added. “Spring is when w-we met-t.”

“Lovely! I’m sure the wedding will be quite the party.”

“We’re keeping it pretty small, just family and our circle of friends. My bandmates will be there. Just us back at home with the people who love us,” Eddie smiled.

“I think that sounds wonderful.” Hannah clapped her hands. “So, Eddie, with all this excitement in your personal life, what’s it look like for the band?”

“I’ll be on tour with them for August and September, and then we’ll be working hard on recording the next album in October and November so we can have it out next year. I won’t be doing anything else until after the wedding, though. I promised Stevie I’d help him plan everything.”

The crowd cheered, and Steve spoke up.

“He also p-promised t-to visit the loc-cation with me in Novemb-ber so we’ll see,” Steve teased, seeming to relax quite a bit more.

The interview carried on, mostly focusing on Eddie’s band and some more casual talk of the wedding and future plans.

Steve never completely relaxed, but he seemed much more at ease as Hannah focused more on Eddie for a few minutes, smiling at Steve when he decided to add something.

“Alright, that’s all the time we have boys! It was lovely to have you and we’re so looking forward to your future together!”

The audience cheered, the boys waved goodbye, and they walked back to the green room to grab some water before going back to their hotel.

Eddie stopped Steve in the hall, ignoring the people passing by, and pulled Steve against him.

“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart,” he whispered against his lips before pressing a soft kiss there. “You’re amazing.”

“Eds, st-stop,” Steve blushed.

“Nope, wanna tell you all the time. You’re incredible.”

“F-fine.”

—--------------------

Steve is a lovely person, and I will not tolerate hate comments on anything related to the interview I did with him and Eddie. My team always does the best with reporting hate comments, so keep that in mind before posting something you may regret later. Any Eddie Munson fan should know that Eddie wouldn’t accept this disgusting behavior towards his fiance.

Steve could feel tears welling in his eyes as he read Hannah’s lovely public comment about some of the hate she’d been receiving in regards to their interview.

One comment in particular had hurt to see: a fan claiming that Eddie just felt bad for him and didn’t want to break up with him because Steve would run to the press with negative stories about him.

Eddie was still asleep, hadn’t seen most of what was being posted since the interview aired first thing that morning, but Steve did.

He liked Hannah’s statement and posted it to his Instagram story with a heart emoji.

He went through some responses from Eddie’s bandmates and liked them, too.

Steve is probably the best thing that’s happened to all of us, so any “fan” of ours who doesn’t see how awesome he is, consider yourself uninvited to any show. Gareth posted.

You guys better hope Eddie doesn’t hop on here and see all this or he’ll end up hunting you for sport. Jeff joked, though Steve knew that he may be more right than not.

Imagine being so jealous of someone that you decide to make fun of the one thing they’re self-conscious about. Couldn’t be me. Grant posted on all his social media profiles.

Then he saw Robin’s post and his heart stopped for a moment.

My best friend is the bravest person I know. He only has a stutter because he risked his life to protect me. If head trauma is a joke to you, then I hope you find new material soon. When Eddie sees this, he’s gonna lose his shit.

Steve let out a mix of a sob and a laugh, startling Eddie awake.

“What is it, sweetheart? What’s wrong?” he asked as he sat up in their bed.

“I g-guess p-people aren’t a b-big fan of me,” he said as he held his phone out towards Eddie to show him what was going on.

Eddie’s face flushed red with anger before he calmly handed Steve his phone back.

“Eds?”

Eddie silently reached for his own phone and pulled up his notes app.

Steve watched him type furiously for a few minutes, then screenshot a couple of times, and open Instagram.

“Eds…it’s fine. Not w-worth it.”

But it was too late, and Steve’s phone went off with a notification that he’d been tagged in Eddie’s post.

It was a series of pictures, the first being a picture taken of them shortly after Steve’s worst head injury, when he barely could speak at all.

The next few images were the screenshots from Eddie’s phone.

I can’t believe I have to say this, but here goes. Steve Harrington, soon-to-be Munson, is the best person I know. I am lucky to be able to wake up next to him, to call him mine, to be his. He is incredibly brave, incredibly loving, and much too forgiving. He will be much nicer than I will. He is not defined by his stutter, but it is a part of his life, and it does impact him much more than he should ever have to worry about. But that picture you just saw? That was a man who could barely even say my name. I thought I would never hear him even say my name again. I’ve seen comments making fun of how he talks, how long it takes him to say some things, his intelligence. And I won’t tolerate it. If you have anything negative to say about him, unfollow me before I block you myself. Fame means absolutely nothing to me compared to this man, and I won’t let him suffer through the bullying just so I can make some fucking music. See yourself out or see us be happy. Up to you.

The last image was a picture of them the night before, cozy in their bed, Steve looking into the camera while Eddie looked at him, so much love passing from him it was almost a physical presence.

“Eds-” Steve started.

“I love you. I won’t let anyone let you think for a second that I don’t,” Eddie said fiercely.

“I know. I l-love you, t-too.”

They both shut off their phones for the rest of the day, didn’t care much for anything outside of their bed.

Steve called Hannah to thank her for everything the next day, and she was grateful to hear from him. He explained that he wouldn’t be doing any more interviews, but was glad he’d had a positive experience with her.

“Do you think Eddie will come back to the show someday to talk about you?” she asked.

“I th-think you’ll reg-gret asking him back. He won’t sh-shut up about me,” Steve smirked to himself.

“He shouldn’t. You’re both so lucky to have each other.”

“Yeah. W-we are.”

[ilikekidsshows]

So I watched the first 2 seasons or so of ML because I thought the premise was super cute and fun, and while I had a generally fun time watching it was just a bit too episodic for me so I just kinda stopped watching (like, I recall even the writers at the time saying the eps could be watched in any order, which was for me enough of a sign that this wouldn’t go anywhere that I just couldn’t feel truly invested). But like I said the premise was so good I’d peek into the fandom from time to time just to see how things were going and it seems like I made the right choice to drop when I did, lol. I just fell into a rabbit hole of ml salt posts recently and feel like a lot of my early concerns ended up super validated. However, even though I haven’t watched the show in years I can’t help but feel disappointed at so much wasted potential. I’m curious as someone who still watches, do you engage with fanfic / other fandom stuff as an alternative to canon?

---

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I don’t watch, not even to hate watch. I follow from the sidelines and read episode transcripts and check out singular scenes. It’s like, when you move away from a crappy town, and there’s some news article about how bad that place is having it and you read it for some vindication of the “I knew it was shit, I hope others can see that too now and get out” kind.

I have a very hard time engaging with Miraculous fanfiction for the same reason I have a hard time watching even my old favorite episodes. The way Miraculous shat the bed retroactively made all the things set up in the previous seasons crap too. Oh, you like the lovesquare? Well, in canon Marinette doesn’t give a damn about Adrien or Cat Noir as a person, only being interested in him as a prize. Have fun watching them grow closer in the previous seasons! Oh, you want Adrien to get freedom away from his abusive dad? Well, in canon he gets gaslit into thinking his dad was a good person and he’s now stuck living in a world his father created. Also he’s a remote control robot and can therefore never be truly free! What a fun twist!

Adrien’s entire species got retconned in a way that makes a happy ending impossible, and the main romantic couple got twisted in a way that I just can’t see our lead actually caring about her romantic partner, unless she was blatantly out of character. That makes it very hard to enjoy fanfic, even when they don’t bring these problems up, there’s very little a fan writer can do to disconnect their story from canon enough for these things to not be serious problems. Currently, the only Miraculous fic I’m reading is the Divorce AU, Perfect Paradise, where Adrien finds out all this and instantly divorces Marinette, and the fic is about them dealing with the fallout of Adrien having been married to and having had kids with someone who, while still loving him, was mistreating him to such a degree.

And the irony of this is that the show started getting noticeably worse as soon as it started being less episodic. For many other shows, that’s usually when the writers really cut their teeth and the show starts being more engaging as a result. For Miraculous, the episodic format actually worked to lessen the issues with the writing.

[shiftylinguini]

Fuck I Can't Write Crisis Pack:

@phoebe-delia asked in response to this fun lil ask game:

Do you have any advice for getting out of a slump/getting writing confidence back? . (for the ask anything) Do you have any advice for getting out of a slump/getting writing confidence back?

Now THIS. This is a good question, and something that is very much on my mind and has been for a while, as I am currently absolutely in the midst of this and trying to army crawl my way out. I don't have any magic bullets (is that the saying? idk) but I have been here before and i do have a small arsenal of tips or methods that I find can help me. 

Here is my Fuck I Can't Write Crisis Pack (In no particular order):

Write anything 

This is hardly groundbreaking advice, and it's also the hardest thing to actually do (imo) so do not beat yourself up if it takes a while to get to this. Basically, write ANYTHING―it can be aimless, it can be pointless, it can be crap (crap is subjective!! don't let the brain gremlins win!!). 

Don't think about posting it, don't worry about anyone else ever reading it, just fling a few words onto a page and feel the rusty faucet turn on, proving to yourself that it still works. 

Try and sus out what it is that's blocking you 

Again this one is hard and annoying but functional. Once you can put your finger on the particular reason you're staring at a flashing black line on a blank page it can help you kick that reason off your lawn and into the bin. 

And then, take it out of the bin and be kind to yourself about whatever that reason is. Maybe you feel shit because you're comparing yourself to others, your last fic felt like a lead balloon, you can't muster enthusiasm for what you once loved doing and fear that it's gone forever, you're projecting in a Tumblr post―whatever it is, it's something all the writers you admire and aspire to be like have felt, and been annoyed with themselves for, and so you can wrap it up in a blanket and put it on a shelf and be kind to it so it, (respectfully) shuts the fuck up. 

(and remember, everyone feels insecure about their stuff. Like literally everyone, at some stage, feels like their stuff is rubbish)

Cheat on your OTP 

Okay this one might not work for everyone, but it really does for me lol. Ruts (not the sexy kind) can often come with not wanting to engage in my usual ships, being annoyed by my lack of ability to fucking write them/anything/all my ideas taste like cardboard/bleh, and stepping out on them and reading something new can snap me out of it. Just, an injection of new ideas or scenarios or words or even just a little reprieve from being fed up with myself, which ideally, is why we're all here anyway. 

(And then I come crawling back, and am welcomed with open arms haha)

In a similar vein:

Engage in media 

This subtitle is genuinely terrible, i am sorry, LMAO, but essentially: find a piece of media that makes you go "oh, helLO sailor", unhinge your jaw like a snake, and consume it whole. 

Let it nourish you, inspire you, excite you, making you feel SOMETHING, and then take that and think "fuck, what if i wrote bleepbloopblarp" and even if you write nary a single word, you've thought about it and that fucking counts. 

It might be an album, a book, a song, a show, gifs of a hot person, the wikipedia summary of a movie, literally anything counts here if it makes you feel a twinge of creativity. 

Ask yourself, what would Astolat do? 

No for real. @candybarrnerd and I genuinely use this haha.  

Worried your idea is stupid? Astolat would say write it. 

Worried it's too weird? Nah, just write it. 

It's dumb and no one will read it? Just write it for you *waggles eyebrows* (and then find out that yeah, nah, someone else will absolutely read this and be real fucking happy about it haha.)

Worried you're a one trick pony and have already written this fic before, like, and not even once before, and also you're projecting again in Tumblr post? WRITE IT AGAIN! As Astolat once said, "it's a fic so nice, I wrote it thrice". 

It's good advice. 

Make a friend or lean hard on the ones you have here

Misery loves company because it knows they'll come out of this together :). I know, I know, that's fucking NAFF, but fandom is all about finding like-minded freaks and blowing up their DMs because you saw a gif and now feel a kind of ways about it. 

And lastly: 

FUCK STATS! 

I mean I love stats (yay validation!), but god can they make you feel like a worthless shit (hey where did my validation go :((( ). It can be really insidious, so piss that right off when it starts to fuck with your confidence or outlook on your own writing.

Hopefully there is something useful here, even if it's just looking at this advice and thinking "no that's shit, it's writing POISON" cos then you can maybe do the version you think is NOT shit, and that might work. 

Good luck, fellow travelers!!

[sineala]

Hello. Sorry for bothering you again, but can I have some rec of what to read about Steve & Diamondback? Kinda interested in them recently.

Hi! I haven't read everything, but I can rec a few things!

Diamondback, as you probably know, was created by Mark Gruenwald at the beginning of his decade-long Cap run; her first appearance was Cap #310. You know how when a new writer takes over a solo hero book and they decide that the woman the hero was previously dating was just not cool enough and they need to break up immediately so that the hero can have a hot new girlfriend? That was what happened here.

(A longer answer with pictures is past the Read More.)

Steve was engaged to Bernie Rosenthal when Diamondback first showed up with the Serpent Society, who are a snake-themed organization of criminals who formed so that they could all get health insurance (no, really).

In #313, Diamondback meets Steve and, as you can see, is immediately, uh, taken with him:

Same in #315:

A few issues passed, and Steve and Bernie broke up in #317 so Bernie could move to go to law school. Steve took a road trip across the country so he could find himself, like he does. Eventually what he actually found was the Serpent Society and Diamondback again. They eventually got together and they were off-and-on for a really long time. She's Steve's girlfriend, Bad Girl archetype. She is usually on the side of good when she is with Steve.

So the thing about Diamondback is that she primarily appears in Mark Gruenwald's Cap run, and while his Cap run had some high points, the low points were… pretty low, and a lot of them featured plots that were really, really… weird… about women, specifically.

Like, there's an arc (not featuring Diamondback, Cap #355-357) where Steve gets himself deaged to a teenager so he can help teens who are being kidnapped by what is apparently a Nazi dominatrix teen bondage summer camp. Or (unfortunately featuring Diamondback, Cap #387-392) there is The Superia Stratagem, in which the villain Superia shows up, and Steve has to infiltrate the cruise ship to Femizona Island where she and her Femizons are plotting world domination, which of course features a plot where Steve is captured and forced to undergo Feminization Treatment. But, don't worry, he defeats her (after disguising himself as a woman) and foils her dastardly plots in the end! Diamondback's contribution to this plot is to get captured and then to angst about whether or not she still wants to be part of the superpowered life, as far as I can remember.

You see what I mean about being weird about women, right? There's, uh, really some stuff going on here. So Diamondback, being a female character, is caught up a lot of plots like these, and even though she seems like she should have plots where she is just badass all the time, there are a lot of plots where bad things happen to her in a specifically gendered way. Like, she has a backstory that involves having been raped by Crossbones. This is… not handled especially well in the narrative.

But if you want to read comics with her in them anyway, I think the Gruenwald arc that is the most fun and the least weird is The Bloodstone Hunt (Cap #357-362), where Steve and Diamondback team up to find the Bloodstone and Diamondback is extremely flirty; they are not actually together at this point. Here they are in #358:

Their actual first date is in Cap #371:

That issue is definitely worth reading if you want to see the themes of their relationship, which are "Steve wonders if she's a little too wild for him" and "Diamondback wonders if she can really go straight for him."

She's also a supporting character in Streets of Poison (#372-378), which is the Drugs Are Bad arc where Steve accidentally becomes addicted to Super Cocaine, and I do not recommend that anyone read this for any reason, but if you're actually going to, she is there.

She continues appearing through most of the rest of Gru's run. I haven't actually read most of it because I was deliberately trying to avoid all the Crossbones stuff, and also the rest of the run includes things like The Superia Stratagem.

After Gru's Cap run ends, she occasionally shows up and occasionally gets with Steve. The best (IMO) of her post-Gruenwald appearances is Cap v4 #29-32 (the Avengers Disassembled tie-ins) where she is getting back together with Steve:

They are definitely getting together, boy, are they:

And maybe she is secretly betraying him to the Red Skull:

But the twist (yes, I'm spoiling it) is that she was secretly an LMD, meaning that Robotfucker Steve here absolutely banged a LMD of his ex-girlfriend.

When Steve finds this out, he doesn't seem upset in any way about having done this, and actually the next thing he does, after he meets the real Diamondback, is immediately ask the real Diamondback if she'd like to get a room.

Steve is really committed to getting laid, I guess.

(Mostly I assume that they were together for the sex, but comics couldn't really talk about that in the era when they were actually together.)

She was apparently in a few comics in the intervening years that I did not read, but the next comic I remember her getting substantial page time in was in Nick Spencer's SamCap run (Captain America: Sam Wilson #4-6), this part of which is just prior to Steve secretly becoming Hydra, in which it turns out she needs money so she's taken up stripping.

Yes, Sam is a werewolf. Don't worry about it.

We did actually see her very recently in comics; in Avengers Assemble v3 #1 (the current miniseries about Steve's emergency response Avengers team), she's back with the Serpent Society.

She's not doing much but she's there. She hasn't met Steve again, though.

I like Diamondback a lot, but I would say that she's a character that canon has not, historically, done a very good job portraying. You know how you get that thing in comics sometimes where it's like, "I know you personally invented this character, and I don't know how this is happening, but somehow they are still out of character?" It's that. This is a problem because she's not in all that much canon, and for whatever reason -- I suspect because there's not a lot of fic set in the era where she's with Steve -- she's not one of Steve's girlfriends who shows up a whole lot in fannish works. (Teaberryblue and Rainproof's 1796 Broadway is the big exception. It is MCU, though.)

Hopefully someday someone will give us some more canon (or fanfic) with her. I know, write it myself. Be the change I want to see.

[oldmanffucker]

just want to address something i've been getting in tags of reblogs of my art, and something i've seen in regard to other artists/writers with a great deal of skill who decide to use that skill to make fan art.

I received two separate comments on two separate art pieces of House fanart just yesterday saying my skill is wasted on them, and i have a lot to say about that.

while i dont think either of the comments were intended maliciously, i think we need to reframe our idea of good fanart being a waste of time/energy/skill by the artist/writer.

in real life, i am a professional artist. i am an art instructor. i make "real" art that goes into exhibitions, and yes, i also decide to spent my time/energy/skills on drawing blorbos.

I think that drawing the things you are connected to and drawing silly fandom art for the heck of it is exactly how you Get those skills. I am good at portraits because I frequently draw or paint portraits. And I frequently draw or paint portraits bc I want to be able to capture blorbo bc I feel like it and I can.

Someone said my 'skills at colors and expression' was what was wasted on them and I want to emphasize that I’m able to capture their microexpressions bc that is what I want to be able to capture, so I make an effort, and I keep practicing until I’m able to do that. When I’m drawing portrait of random ppl online as portrait practice I’m just drawing what I see instead of trying to capture an essence of a person or character I'm familiar with. And that’s a different skill!

And I’m good at colors (partially bc I’m an artist who paints a lot but in this specific example it’s:) because doodling a blorbo is low stakes. I try new things and learn new techniques bc it’s just something I’m doing for me, for fun, and I’m not getting graded on it and I don’t need to hang it in a museum.

It’s art for the sake of being made, which is exactly what you need to make to continue getting better at making.

The stupid hyperfixation of drawing all the frames of a gif is ridiculous when it’s all for a house md effort, objectively yeah lmao, but it’s the equivalent of studying any other image for hours and distinguishing how micro movements affect which muscles, and how the movement of different muscles changes the shape of shadows and light, and it helps anchor understanding of anatomy.

And drawing all this stupid stuff is especially fun for me bc I can see my actual real art skills improving with every drawing I make or thing I write which benefits my real world art. Like I know this might sound some type of way, like I’m trying to make it sound like drawing gay old man medical malpractice yaoi is subverting the zeitgeist and some sort of momentous critical imperative but I don’t think it’s that serious. Which is my whole point! It’s not that serious, it doesn’t matter, AND I’m genuinely improving my craft while doing it so what’s the issue is basically my point ig. And I wouldn’t be drawing at all currently if I wasn’t drawing them bc there’s nothing I feel drawing to capture in this medium irl!

(and if you've left this comment in tags or otherwise, this is not an attack! it is a backhanded compliment to receive/give, but I also acknowledge that it's not usually said with malice, and not something you were likely thinking about to this level. that's ok! just listen & learn yk)

Using your skills for things you enjoy is never a waste! You're exercising your art muscles and bulking up! if you make art outside of fanart it WILL benefit from these endeavors. and if you don't make art outside of fanart, then you're still engaging in the wonderful beautiful practice of creating!

[iraprince]

Absolutely love the Infodump on Cookie she's so good. however!! I remember you made a trio of characters for this game and were torn about which one to play, then decided the other two could be his attendants.

How are those two, what are they up to?? Have you done much with them in the game so far? (And even if not, wanna give us some tastey information about 'em?)

💜

oooh yes! those two are sir velvet the unsmiling (it/she), and damned-if-i-do/dandy (he/they). let's pull up their art (esp now that i have crispy clean new scans!!! i think i have only ever posted this art as shitty phone pics prior to this)

ANYWAY. it turns out that even though attendants are a built-in part of the noble sweetheart playbook (cookie's title) and you're SUPPOSED to be using them... for me in practice, when i'm actually playing the game, i just keep totally forgetting lmfao!!!! :') rping with my other party members and chasing quests and stuff is so engaging that my brain is totally booked with just being cookie, let alone two additional npcs, so sadly dandy and velvet have not gotten a ton of screentime in the current campaign

BUT that really just makes me eager to one day play them properly in a different campaign, whether that's them each taking their turn as player characters like was originally intended, or when i'm GMing a campaign of my own (i'm trying to write up something for my friends, but i have no idea when it's actually gonna happen bc i'm so busy rip... but when i do, cookie and her attendants will def be npcs)

i honestly don't have MUCH i can say abt them, bc since i haven't played them much i also havent developed them much... i suppose i can give summaries tho!

in terms of vibes velvet is very much like, "guy who is brooding so hard that it stops being mysterious or having any gravity at all and is mostly just making people wonder if she's like? okay?????" like there is only so long you can spend with your back to the rest of the group clenching your fist and muttering to yourself before people just start kind of glossing over it and being like "oh haha that's CLASSIC sir velvet the unsmiling!!!"... mix this with a heady dose of "[nasal voice] UM, you forgot to collect the homework" and somehow you have created a creature ideal for wrangling cookie's effusive elaborate scatterbrained whims, somehow, most of the time. velvet is really similar to a different Brooding Goth Knight character i have wherein my formula is "make a character who looks extremely fucking sicknasty badass, then never ever ever stop making fun of them ever"

dandy is cookie's quartermaster, and so unlike velvet (who's usually assumed to be traveling around with cookie, even if i am constantly forgetting to roleplay that it's doing that) he mostly chills at chateau gorgeous looking after his liege's affairs and making sure the ppl who live there are fed + sheltered + generally taken care of. they are pretty much velvet's exact opposite in terms of temperament; EVERYTHING gets velvet's hackles up, NOTHING phases dandy. i need to be careful bc i am starting to arbitrarily ship them just from typing this. anyway, dandy is largely non-verbal; they're able to speak if really necessary, but they would just rather not, and if there's really no way around it they'd rather just sidle over to cookie and whisper it to her, and then let her communicate whatever they want to say to the rest of the group on their behalf; if cookie's not around, you're just gonna have to figure out how to communicate w him otherwise. which always works out fine bc dandy is very patient and used to getting along in silence!

that's about all i've got rn... i will def post it here if i come up with or draw anything else that's fun tho :) ty for the ask!

[wisteria-lodge]

Writer interview tag.

How many works do you have on ao3? 23 (20 that I've written with @niche-pastiche, and a few character studies that I write to get in a character's head / explore a specific vignette)

What's your total AO3 word count? 909,339 (of course like, half of that's Niche.)

Your top 5 stories by kudos?

Relationship Status (Superman/Batman)

A Lesson in "Sword" Fighting (Stede Bonnet/Edward Teach)

Dancing With Myself (Eddie Brock/Venom)

The Prison of the Phoenix (Remus Lupin/Severus Snape - just finished over the weekend!!!)

Playing Pirate (Stede Bonnet/Edward Teach)

Do you respond to comments? Niche responds to them way more than I do, but I dip in sometimes - especially if it's worldbuilding or lore related. I do LOVE comments though.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? As Time Goes Bi. It's a Dean Winchester/Eliot Ness time travel fic that's been pretty evergreen in terms of engagement, and I'm honestly extremely proud of it. It's got one of my absolute favorite endings, but definitely a little more bittersweet than I usually go for.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? I almost always write happy endings, and maybe it's a bit of a cheat, but I'm working on the ending of Harry Potter and Malfoy's Suspicious New Interest right now, and just reveling in the happiness.

Do you write crossovers? Niche and I plotted out a fun Supernatural/Sherlock Holmes crossover at one point, but never wrote it. I have also always thought that a Hannibal/Supernatural crossover would be really, really funny. Because they're both shows where the characters will say, "I have demon blood," but in one it's a metaphor and in the other it's very, very literal. you could build the most ridiculous set of misunderstandings out of that.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? No hate. I get people disagreeing with specific characterizations or being confused, but I honestly like that because it lets me know what I need to go back and rework.

Do you write smut? I LOVE writing smut.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? If I have, I don't know about it.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Niche has has work translated into Russian and Chinese, and I've given permission to have Relationship Status translated into Russian, but as far as I know that translation was never finished. I've had people comment in French, Spanish, Chinese, German and Russian though! And @alysvolatile did a stunning fanbinding of First, Do No Harm.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? I almost exclusively co-author fics.

What's a wip that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? I'm pretty good about finishing stuff I actually start. I have ideas for long, plotty (main Supernatural) fics that are *good ideas*... but I also kinda think that if I was going to write them, I would have written them about two years ago, and I'm just kind of in a different place now.

What are your writing strengths? I honestly think I'm a better editor than I am a writer. I think I'm good at pacing, structure, clean up, identifying what's really going on and hitting those beats harder, making sure that all the worldbuilding is intuitive and fits together. I also write pretty good action scenes, and I'm picky about them. I'm good at making sure my world is consistent and grounded, and that everything's interacting in a way that makes sense.

What are your writing weaknesses? I sometimes think my prose can get mechanical and workaday. I've been pushing myself to go heavier with the descriptions, locations and beautiful language.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I'll do it. It had better be a language I at least kind of understand, and if not I am going to do my homework properly. In Soft Limits - which is Sam Winchester/Balthazar, one of my personal favorite but also least popular fics - Balthazar's vessel and Sam communicate exclusively in Latin. I am aware it is the most indulgent aspect of what is already a very indulgent fic.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? For me, I think the absolutely gold standard of fic writing is Charles "Professor X" Xavier/Erik "Magneto" Lehnsherr. I do not think I am good enough yet, but one day I will be. There are just so many sliding pieces to consider - we've got their complicated relationship and backstory, the ideological divide at their heart with no easy answer, Holocaust history and the psychology of being a holocaust survivor, disability history and the ins and outs of what sex would be like with Charles's specific disability (obviously it is smut, obviously I'm writing wheelchair user Charles, like. come on.) And then, on top of that, we've got their fairly extreme powers, and I think "no powers in bed" is the cowards way out, obviously they're going to use their powers and it's going to be sexy, but they're going to need to Negotiate that, like, a lot...

I also want to ship all the leads from Casablanca together.

*

That was fun! I'm tagging @hollowed-theory-hall @pangaeaseas @lucythornwalter @zforzelma @idonotbitemythumbatyou @kittenwriter and of course @niche-pastiche

[nearestend]

will be moving blogs at some point in the new year. not sure when exactly (i'm busy right now) and it might just be temporary, but if you're interested in following me there, you can let me know. (feel free to like this post or send me a message on disco, anything really works.)

might make some changes? a lot of it is still being considered, but here's how i think it will go. (a lot of it is just me thinking out loud. that helps me. and i also just want to be transparent.)

canons will probably be secondary priority, if not lower. still really happy to write them with friends if we have ongoing plots or discussions, but generally not eager to put them at the forefront. for a lot of reasons. (i could say that i think a lot of canons get treated as trends that will die out eventually... and it's fine if that's your thing, but i don't really like it for myself and don't want to do that. there's a whole convo to be had about that. now is not the time for it.)

i think my general rule is going to just be, if i don't see potential for developing a character in depth, i'm not going to list them on my roster. there will still be some that are more developed than others, but if there isn't at least potential for me to do that, i won't be listing them. it's just a priorities thing right now.

honestly, if we're good enough friends and i've written someone previously that you want to continue interacting with, you can ask about it. just because they aren't listed, doesn't mean i won't write them but it will just be slower. that being said, i probably won't do this unless we know each other pretty well and you're still willing to write with the ones i prioritize.

in terms if who i will/won't follow ... eh i don't like this topic but i do think i should say that there is a chance i won't follow some people back. i don't have any actual beef with anyone, but there's been some stuff over the past year that wasn't really fun to even witness from afar (most of it pertains to how ableism and racism were handled). i don't care enough to hold that against anyone in a serious way or try to have that conversation with people who aren't willing to respond constructively, but it's not especially nice to see and better not to engage. idk. my general thing is that if it's not safe and enjoyable to engage with a certain aspect of this webbed site then i'm just not going to.

there might also just be some instances where i won't follow back because i don't know if we have anything to talk about. and that's fine! i think it's okay not to click with every person you know. but i'm not going to rule anyone out entirely — it's situational and i like to give anyone who expresses interest in being friends/mutuals a chance. no hard feelings to anyone if something doesn't work out.

i probably won't advertise my new url that much just because i like a small circle, but i'm not going to hide it either. most likely just going to privately message my new url to friends who want to follow. if you come across it in the wild, you're welcome to perceive it anyways!

in terms of what my actual priorities are ... we already know that it will always be alice (number one gal). probably lozzie and noah too (she's number two and he is number three but they're kind of interchangeable). hmmm everyone else is still to be determined because they usually fluctuate. i think mostly everyone on the current oc roster will stay though. might do a thing like "permanent roster, always available" and "who knows about these guys — they're here if you want 'em but (vague gesturing)". that being said, if i added any muses specifically for a friend, i'll keep them around because that's half the fun of this for me.

will continue to prioritize disco stuff, especially if it's for longer in-depth threads with more plotting. i think that disco's platform just makes it easier/more relaxing for me. tumblr tends to be a bit harder to write very intricate plots just because i'm conscious of perfectionism here, but i don't mind it for fun casual stuff. you can always let me know your preferences, i'm pretty open-minded.

triggers will be present. unfortunately, they will always be present due to the nature of a lot of these characters. and i'll include warnings for everything, but i do want to emphasize this very much. just be aware of your own needs and comfort, i'm available for a respectful and open dialogue as needed too, but ultimately i want us to make our own choices and not feel obligated to partake in anything just for the sake of it.

well. i don't know if any of this made sense because i did not plan this out when i began this post. but that's the general / important stuff that i wanted people to be aware of before following. i'll probably do the official move soon-ish, depending on my availability, and keep you all updated when i do.

AS ALWAYS! i'm on disco. if we are friends who talk regularly (or even semi-regularly) on there, you will probably get a follow from me regardless. pretty much anyone who i currently have an active server with will get a follow from me unless they don't want one (which you're welcome to actually say, if you want. i won't be offended even if you say "nah i'm good, see ya". honestly that would be pretty funny and i hope someone does that sincerely.)

[darumi-amemiya]

DARUMI_HEADCANONS_V2.EXE

Here we go again!!

I just am having a good day today! A lot like Darumi, the constant gloomy rain today has me pumped! I’ve been gorging myself on a lot of spooky/dark subject matter lately, too! Though honestly that’s my everyday, I’m kinda desensitized to a lot of stuff because of it. Guess that’s why I relate to Darumi so much!

HC 1: Darumi has a website of her own, and it’s considered a denpa site because of what she posts on it.

I think Darumi’s the type that people stereotype as ‘chronically online’. She’s an otaku, she’s a menhera, she probably engages with a lot of the stuff on the Japanese ‘do not search’ list…

Darumi probably runs a blog talking about her day to day life while writing down all her emotions and whatnot. She posts on the mental health boards often, talking about how frustrating it is to have such intense emotions and have nobody else understand WHY they are so intense. She signs all of her posts with 💀🔪, if she can get away with it.

I think she ABSOLUTELY has a neocities, or a Japanese equivalent!! She has one with autoplay music and fun music. It’s bright and flashy and even though she LOVES eyestrain. It isn’t really the most accessible website, honestly, what with the flashing colors and loud sounds… But it’s SUPER stimulating for her and she loves it!!

HC 2: Darumi is wearing a sweater on top of her typical clothes.

This is less ‘theory’ or ‘headcanon’, and more just an observation! Watch this be SUPER WRONG and it’s a headcanon anyway.

In the CG where she jumps out to greet Gaku, we see what I assume to always be present under the sweater: a sailor school uniform top with no ribbon, a white breast pocket, two instances of bandage-wrapped forearms, and a cute little pink wrist accessory. I kinda wanna guess it’s a scrunchie, but it’s never seen in her hair so I don’t know what it actually is besides maybe a wristband.

The outfit is similar colors to the hemoanima outfit, but it IS still different from it! Short sleeves, no gaping stab wound, all of that! Interestingly, though… She also kind of looks like some of her makeup is off, similar to her usual hemoanima appearance.

If it’s an art error, then they might’ve been given the wrong direction for the art in this case. If it isn’t an art error, and she actually has different outfits throughout the game, it makes me wonder if the other students have alternative looks as well. It’d be neat if Darumi and the others had summer and winter looks!

Imagine it starts in winter, but over the course of the game you get closer to summer and the like! I don’t know if you’d realistically get there in 100 days… If that’s too much of a spread, then maybe she changes outfits for the spring?

It’d be cool if she did, honestly! I think it’d be cute to see her in this design! The makeup just under her eye kind of resembles a 2, I wonder why that is. It’s probably just partial exposure and lighting and stuff.

HC 3: Darumi is a goodie-goodie deep down!

I think it’d be interesting if Darumi Amemiya, under all of the confusion and misconceptions of others, is actually a pretty sweet girl who’s constantly looking out for everyone else. She’s just… an odd girl, and the things that make HER happy aren’t the same as the things that make OTHER PEOPLE happy.

In one fan-translated exchange between her and Takumi, it’s suggested she’s trying to lighten his mood by… shouting at him that they should die together!

As we all know, my homegirl Darumi is RIDICULOUSLY mentally unwell and has 99 different diseases.

Joking aside, just from that exchange (and a friendly convo with another Hundred Line blog!!) I got the impression that under all of the chaos Darumi is a very sweet and kind girl. Much like Pinkie Pie, she cares deeply about others’ morale and their feelings. She probably wants to make EVERYONE happy, but her version of happiness and the others’ version of happiness are two very different things.

HC 4: Darumi likes learning new things, and performs well academically!

Another self-indulgent one because I think it’s cute! Darumi Amemiya LOVES going to school, she has a few select favorite classes that she enjoys attending, and even her bullies can’t get her down when it comes to her favorite classes.

She loves Biology, History, and Japanese classes! She struggles in Math, and is well-known around school for breaking down sobbing when things don’t go well when it comes to stuff like grades or tests.

Her parents are loving, but they’ve long since stopped expecting too much out of Darumi because of her many, many issues. So, to give them something to be proud of… She does her best in school!

HC 5: Darumi loves umami and sweet foods!!

Darumi considers an excellent meal to be microwaved chicken ramen!! She’s told this to people before and they look at her as if she’s holding a gun to their heads. Savory and umami foods make her mouth water, and she’ll leap at the chance to eat meat, even if it’s raw!! (She… does not do well with raw meat, obviously. Girl can get really, really sick!!)

Darumi’s favorite type of candy is cotton candy, and her parents once bought her an at-home cotton candy making machine for kids as a gift! She likes trying to make konpeito cotton candy… but she’ll never share if she got it working! She likes to keep the mystery alive!

[suzukiblu]

Hello, I've been following your account for a while and I love your way of writing and your stories are very engaging and original.

I was wondering if you had more of the Mer!AU that you've mentioned on occasion? It's been on my mind since you mentioned it.

Sorry if my English is not very good, it's just not my first language.

Thank you! ❤️ I don't actually remember if I posted any of the prose for that AU, tbh, and it mostly exists in outline form right now so there isn't much to post, but I'm glad to hear you like it so here's the beginning for you, at least!

🧜‍♂️🧜‍♀️🧜‍♂️🧜‍♀️

(also, fyi and credit where credit's due, this AU is a remix of LilliputianDuckling's Luminescent)

Thirteen isn't a kid anymore, so he's gonna get to meet other mers besides One now. He's excited about it, because One is the only mer he's ever met before. And they only ever met because One is his mother. Or that's what Lex calls him, anyway. 

Well, technically Lex mostly calls One "the bitch". But that's when he's talking to Hope and Mercy and the staff, not to Thirteen. So Thirteen's always assumed he was just supposed to call One his mother. 

Thirteen is vaguely aware that he should maybe have a father too, but he guesses One just doesn't want a mate? One never seems to want to talk or hang out and is honestly kind of an asshole, so that'd make sense. Lex used to let Thirteen visit One's tank every now and then when he was little, but One never talked to him or played with him or anything. He just ignored him all the time and usually didn't even look at him.

Thirteen had tried to talk to him anyway and had tried showing off all the tricks and other stuff he knew, because he'd thought maybe if he could be fun or interesting or just cool enough then One would maybe at least look at him a little, but One never had. 

One had just gotten mad, actually. 

Really, really mad, sometimes. 

Thirteen had never understood. The humans all like his tricks–the humans love his tricks. He doesn't know why One gets so mad when he does them around him, or even when he just talks to him. 

One never talks to him. Like, he makes weird noises, sometimes? Whistles and clicks and screeches, mostly. But he never actually says anything. 

It sucks. 

Not that Thirteen even cares. Why would he? Just because One's his mother doesn't mean anything. He's not a kid anymore anyway; he's gonna meet other mers now and he can make friends with them! And they'll all be way better than One, he's sure, and they'll think he's fun and interesting and cool.

They will, he tells himself. He'll figure out whatever it was he did wrong with One and . . . and the other mers will like him. 

(he really, really hopes they'll like him)

Thirteen's not ungrateful or anything, but Lex is so busy, and Hope and Mercy are both really busy too, and he's never really worked too closely with any of the other trainers and One's never liked him no matter what he tried, so . . . so he's just alone a lot, is all, and the idea of meeting new people is really . . . is really . . .

It'll go better this time, he promises himself. The other mers will like him, and he won't be alone so much.

(and it won't be like it was with Fourteen, either)

[illfoandillfie]

alt adkoe au: y/n answers a question correctly in class and roger accidentally replies w “good girl”

ohhhh my godddd okay this is an incredible idea. i read it as i was walking into work this morning and it made me very giggly khfksfkskfs

like it's just a normal class, roger's trying to keep everyone's attention by throwing out questions at them.

he's not even directing them at specific people, just asking the room at large and waiting to see if anyone answers, keeping a list in the back of his mind of who actually engages with the lesson.

and you're a good student, you like the class and you like having the chance to try to answer things.

maybe it's a little bit because you're sleeping with your professor. but only a little bit.

He had threatened to stop the lessons if your actual work started slipping, so you're determined not to let that happen, and also you just want to make sure he knows you're not just there because he's hot.

but also you're a bit of a nerd and just genuinely enjoy learning about science stuff and has fun answering questions even if you get corrected sometimes.

so you don't even think twice answering this question, you just do it, like 95% sure you knows the answer

and he's really proud of you for knowing the answer! it was a tough one! and usually he'd give whoever answered a 'well done Ms blah' or a 'that's correct Mr blah' but it's the end of the day, his mind is wandering a little bit and for a moment he forgets where he is.

the problem, he tells mikey later when he's explaining the incident, is he's too good a dom. he's always made an effort to praise you during the tutoring lessons. because you was new to bdsm and because you misunderstood aspects of submission to start, he's made sure to give you a lot of positive reinforcement whenever you demonstrated an understanding of something or whenever you showed enthusiasm for something or whenever you tried something out of your comfort zone.

so he doesn't even hesitate before saying "good girl ms y/l/n" when you gives a correct and thorough answer.

he barely even noticed he'd done it at first, turning to the board to write something relevant up there.

he's halfway through a word when he hears the first snicker. it makes him pause because it's a masters science class. it's full of more mature students who've already earned a degree, students who aren't as inclined to goof off as some of his other classes are. I mean, he knows how to have fun with his class. He cracks jokes, he tries to keep things entertaining and engaging, but he's not used to hearing people laugh behind their hands as if they're teenagers passing notes.

he glances behind him at the noise and he notices two things.

Firstly, theres a whole lot of smirking happening, a few giggles, a few people looking at each other.

Secondly, you're staring at him, resolutely ignoring everyone, but you seem embarrassed.

And that's when his brain catches up and he realises what he'd actually said and how inappropriate it was. and he's just really thankful he'd had enough brain left to not use your first name.

For a moment he doesn't know what to do? Should he address it? Apologise to you in front of the class, turn it into a joke about how he's obviously ready for the weekend?

the notion that such an excuse would probably just lead people to speculating about what kind of sexual shenanigans he gets up to on weekends stops him though

and ultimately he decides to pretend it didn't happen. He can apologise to you in private later, and if he just continues on with the lesson it'll force everyone to pay attention and stop giggling.

So he continues writing on the board and then explains why your answer was a good one and then asks a follow up question, this time directing it at a student he thinks is looking at you and whispering to his mate.

You were relieved he just moved on with the lesson.

Later on, when you text Daisy about it, you say the problem is that roger has conditioned you to be turned on by praise. You've always liked earning praise of course, especially from teachers. But all the times roger called you a good girl during your tutoring has made it a whole other thing.

And because of that, as soon as he'd called you a good girl in front of everyone, you got wet.

(Daisy replied with a lot of laughing emojis and not much useful advice)

So, it wasn't even so much being called a good girl in front of your classmates that embarrassed you. it wasn't great and the snickering didn't help you feel less embarrassed but if it had been any other teacher who'd called you a good girl you could have laughed it off much easier (with maybe a little embarrassment for them).

no the reason you were embarrassed was that you were turned on and all you could think about was roger bending you over his desk.

and you shouldnt be thinking about that in public.

and you definitely shouldn't be thinking about roleplaying a teacher/student scene with him.

and you definitely shouldn't be this wet sitting in a fucking uni lecture.

so you were very glad roger hadn't said anything about it.

roger spent the rest of the lesson deciding how best to apologise to you. he decided that calling you to see him after class would only make things worse and since there really was something happening between you, he couldn't risk anyone thinking there was in case it all got brought out into the open.

he did briefly consider whether he should take Tina out somewhere students would definitely spot him just so he'd have an alibi of sorts, and maybe any speculation or gossip about the incident would be more focused on his kinkiness than on your involvement.

But, he settled on mentioning it and apologising during the next tutoring lesson, and otherwise pretending it wasn't a thing. If he heard some rumours or got approached by any staff members then he'd figure out a way to deal with it.

you decided to go by his office before you left that evening. You didn't want any lingering embarrassment hanging over you during your next lesson.

So when you knocked on his door, Roger is very surprised. This was not his plan.

but he rolled with it, inviting you in and shutting the door (hoping no one would think anything of it if they saw)

and he apologised before you could start talking, saying he never meant to put you in such an uncomfortable position and he woud be much more mindful in future and he hopes you're okay and that no one said anything to you.

and you're like oh no thats fine, i get it was just a slip up, and yes we do need to be careful but no one said anything to you and while you did hear people speculating about what else he might call someone a good girl for, no one had suggested there really might be something happening. one girl did call you lucky though and implied that if you'd accidentally called her a good girl she'd be wanking to it for the next month.

roger is relieved and everything about the situation suddenly becomes a bit more amusing and less worrying.

but then you say there is something you want to bring up but maybe his office isnt the best place

and he's like well if you don't tell me i'm going to spend the time until our next session very nervous and concerned about you.

so you're like, its nothing serious i just.....it was kind of hot, sir.

he gulps a little and has to take a breath before he says, "was it now?"

you nod and drop your voice to more of a whisper as you say, "im kinda wet actually"

he groans to himself, "as much as i would love to verify that myself, i don't think this is the place, so i'll take your word for it. what about it inspired such a reaction?"

you shrug, "i don't know exactly. i like when you praise me i guess. and maybe it got me thinking....i mean, if might be too weird but you said teacher student stuff was good for roleplaying.

Roger is speechless at that and has to sit down again before he falls.

you just watch him a bit nervously, waiting for him to say something but encouraged by his reaction

eventually he's like "i did say that"

and you can see hes thinking so you keep quiet, just waiting

eventually he sighs and says, "we really can't do anything here. there are people around who could come in at any moment, not to mention security cameras. so as interesting as your suggestion is, its too risky. And also, a little bit weird. i mean, as hot as the roleplay is, i really am your professor and that makes it just a little uncomfortable, don't you think?"

you nodded, more embarrassed to have been turned down than you were in class.

he's like, i mean i'm up for it, just not right this second.

which does make you feel a little bit better, a little less rejected.

he says so how about this. instead of going home tonight, you pay your teacher a visit because you're so worried about passing the class and you want to see if theres some extra credit work available.

his voice is low and his tone is all suggestion and you instantly perk up and agree to it.

and roger smiles and says, my last class for the day is in half an hour, i will leave as soon as it's done. Of course, if this suddenly stops being hot, we don't have to do this roleplay. It might just have been in the moment that it was arousing or we might find actually playing it out is more awkward than hot.

you stand up and say, thank you sir, i'll see you later.

he says, wait a second ms y/l/n, some homework until then - I want you to think about just how much of a good girl you can be. Have some ideas ready.

your mind was already racing with possibilities so you nodded and then left, trying not to look too excited.

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

everything i read in november

we're almost at the end of the year and i'm actually shocked by how many books i've managed to get through, even while doing a master's! i've really enjoyed doing these reviews so you guys are stuck with them for the forseeable, i'm afraid lol

Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood

One of my New Year's Resolutions for 2024 was to engage more deeply with the books I read, and writing these reviews have been a big part of that. Over the year I've often felt that I'm being too harsh on some of the books, like maybe I'm just too dumb to appreciate ambiguous plots and meanings. Then I read Oryx and Crake and I realised no, actually, I was right to expect better from the books I read, because better is out there.

This novel is so perfectly plotted and written - it walks the 'show, don't tell' line brilliantly, not explaining every little detail nor leaving so much unexplained that the whole thing seems pointless. It was really fantastic, and I would recommend it over any of the similar books I've read this year; I think the obvious comparison is The Wall by Marlen Haushofer (reviewed here) - this is everything I wanted from that book and didn't get. I'll definitely be reading more Atwood next year!

Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding

This was so absolutely brilliant - genuinely made me laugh out loud at points, and tear up at others. I would highly recommend for anyone who likes the film, they have the same vibe but the book is better! I don't usually read romance but I am thinking of branching out into some more classic romances like this in the future.

The Baudelaire Fractal by Lisa Robertson

I really enjoyed this - I don't think it'll be for everyone, but it was definitely for me. It follows a woman reflecting on her youth in Paris, which has sort of melded in her mind with the life of the poet Charles Baudelaire. It's part-Baudelaire biography, part-young girl trying to find herself, part-musing on the role of women in art and poetry, especially in the bohemian group that Baudelaire was a part of. It reads at times almost like a philosophy essay, and it has a full index of books and artworks referenced (we love to see it).

I found it really thought provoking, especially the frequent discussions of Baudelaire's mistress/muse, Jeanne Duval. She was a huge part of his personal and business life (she put him in touch with lots of clients and fellow creatives) but was essentially excluded from his intellectual life because of her gender (and probably also her race and class). The narrator, as a woman who also kind of believes herself to be the reincarnation of Baudelaire, poses a really interesting viewpoint of Duval and the role of muse, and there's a real sense of what women have achieved in the modern day by even being allowed to enter creative spaces in their own right and not as a man's muse.

It was a difficult read at times (I had to look a lot of stuff up), but I like to be challenged (and, as my mum said, after Bridget Jones it was probably a good thing to be challenged).

Varanasi by Jae Watson

I've got to be honest, this book was pretty terrible. I bought it in a charity shop because the premise intrigued me; a woman goes through a terrible break-up and travels to India to 'find herself', but is stranded in Varanasi when her travelling companion is found dead. The main part of the plot was actually rounded out in a pretty satisfactory way, but that's about all I can say for it. It was very badly written, both the dialogue and the descriptive writing, and it felt weirdly preachy at times. When I read the author's bio and found she has a degree in theology, it all started to make sense. Oh well. They can't all be Bridget Jones's Diary.

The Tatami Galaxy by Tomihiko Morimi

I thought this was fun! It follows a student through four parallel versions of his life, which differ by the club he chose to join in his first week at university. In each universe he wishes he had chosen differently, so his life wouldn't be so awful - the book is written in a very melodramatic and overly descriptive way that I really enjoyed. The irony is that despite his choices, his life ends up pretty much the same in each case - he meets the same people, gets mixed up in the same events, and ends up pretty happy. I found this oddly comforting, and kind of true to that stage of life. Really, whatever kinds of choices you make at university matter less than what kind of person you are, and you'll probably be ok in the end. It had lots of really funny moments and I found myself really compelled by all the characters. Would recommend for anyone looking for something a bit different!

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

This was so so good!! I was really pulled into the mystery and I cared about all the characters, which I think is the sweet spot for thrillers. It was a lot darker than I was expecting, especially Lisbeth's storyline, but I think it was handled really well. Like Oryx and Crake, it was very well plotted and paced, which shows up some other thrillers I've read recently. I can see why it was such a huge bestseller/cultural moment, it 100% lives up to the hype. I'll definitely be reading the other two books in the series!

Currently Reading + On My Radar

I'm currently reading Behind the Scenes at the Museum by Kate Atkinson, which is absolutely fantastic. The only one of her books I've read before is When Will There Be Good News?, which is a thriller, so I was expecting Behind the Scenes to be a thriller too, but it's more of a literary novel, which I'm actually really enjoying! Full review next month but one thing I'm especially loving is that it's set in York, where I'm from! Very fun to read a historical novel set in a place you know well. I don't really have any books I'm 100% planning on reading next month, apart from a Christmas-themed mystery novella I bought. I also might re-read Wuthering Heights - I read it for the first time when I was pretty young and I honestly don't remember it too well.

As always, if you read this far then please reply and tell me a book you've enjoyed recently, or maybe one you hated (spill the tea) or maybe just one you're looking forward to reading! Ily <3

[bigfan-fanfic]

How do you feel about Damien’s Mom Talia Al Ghul? Because some people said she’s a victim of bad racist writing and she’s had a bad portrayal in the animated movies. Is Talia really just victim of bad writing or she’s actually a horrible mother/person? I’m just confused because when I read the comics about Talia and the bad things she did and I just assumed that’s was part of her character because she’s a morally questionable villain of course she’s not a “good civilian person.” I knew DC is a dark adult comic book series and I already expected going in that the villain characters like Talia would committed terrible/horrible actions against the heroes. Like for example when she drugged Bruce and took advantage of him, I was slightly shocked but wasn’t surprised. Cuz to me this was the dark stuff DC was known for doing.

Alrighty, so the answer is a little bit of both!

TW for sexual assault mentions, miscarriage, parental abuse, etc.

There's a TL;DR ("too long, didn't read" summary) under the cut if you don't wanna read my report which is pretty awesome and was fun to write.

So, nobody seems to be able to agree on who Talia is at her core, and that's generally par for the course for a comic book character with multiple writers. She's been around since 1971, so that's already 52 years! And like Greek myth, there's just a lot of different interpretations of the character.

Let's get to the nitty gritty before we talk history. In 2006, writer Grant Morrison established that Talia drugged and raped Bruce, conceiving their son Damian (and also for some reason adding a whole unnecessary "artificial womb" thing? I don't get it either). However, this is based off the fact, which Morrison later admitted, that they misremembered the story they based the Batman and Son arc off of, and later comic arcs (in 2012 and 2014) would retcon the incident as consensual. Put a pin in this.

Talia was originally more of a damsel in distress slash prize for Bruce. Remember, this was the 70s. Her main deal is being the daughter of Ra's al Ghul and thus if Batman marries her, he becomes the heir, which Ra's wants. Despite not wanting to succeed Ra's, Bruce and Talia do share romantic attraction and Ra's considers them married. Then, later on, they do actually marry and she gets pregnant, and then Talia realizes that Bruce will always be in danger having to protect her and their child, so she fakes a miscarriage and they dissolve their marriage. She gives the child to an orphanage, and he is given the name Ibn al Xu'ffasch, or "son of the bat". This is the story arc Morrison adapted later.

Talia was kinda badass in the period before 2006, where she was sort of an anti-villain. She breaks out and starts having her own self after Ra's engages her to Bane whom she despises. She, under the name Talia Head, runs LexCorp as CEO while Lex Luthor is President of the United States, and basically not only tips Superman off about all his plans, but sells LexCorp's shares to Wayne Enterprises leaving Lex functionally penniless. Then she gets brainwashed and basically evil-fied by her half-sister Nyssa Raatko who literally kills her over and over, resurrecting her each time in the Lazarus Pit as an extreme form of torture and reprogramming. She usually does more evil shit after this like joining leagues of supervillains and such. However, her motives of helping Jason Todd recover and train are usually ascribed to her love for Bruce and not wanting Jason to kill him.

Then after 2006 she goes full tilt crazy ex girlfriend and murders people, trained Selina Kyle to resist any and all psychological coercion to reveal Bruce's identity, and PLANTS A DEVICE IN DAMIAN'S SPINE THAT LETS HER CONTROL HIS BODY, and reveals that she's started cloning him because she thinks he's too weak and disowns him.

Then comes the New 52 (the part where DC did a reboot to make everybody darker and "more realistic" that absolutely nobody liked, so it started in 2011 and then DC did another reboot in 2016 to make it better) and Talia is just off the wall completely evil. Genocide, cloning Damian, killing Damian, being resurrected, then fighting an ancient alien cult and claiming she's redeemed, then literally rejoining the League of Assassins moments later.

Incidentally, apparently Grant Morrison wrote Bruce, Talia, and Damian from their own experiences as a child of divorce, which is just... wow. Like... that's just a lot to unpack there, but we're just gonna step past it.

As of the DC Rebirth reboot, Talia is more or less sort of back to being anti-villain, still yes a killer, but also more emotionally open and supportive of her son and back to trying for true redemption.

Let's take, as I usually try to do, the sum total of these experiences and from other sources and try to average it out.

Unfortunately, despite the retconning, a lot of people now still see Talia's rape of Bruce as canon. I did too for the longest time, and honestly, although it makes Talia despicable and completely irredeemable in a very visceral way, it also does allow for interesting dynamics for Bruce and Damian, the batfam and Talia, Bruce in general, and allows there to be discussion for the tragically underconsidered circumstance for female-on-male sexual assault, and by having Batman, who is often used by hypermasculine dudebros for their weird ideals of stoic toxic masculinity be a victim, and be vulnerable, and go through this could be a deeply powerful arc that nobody in comics really wants to touch. It does however, deprive us of an interesting and nuanced Talia and instead catapults her right into mustache-twirling evil.

Ultimately, Talia is the daughter and heir of Ra's al Ghul. She sees no problem murdering people, and in fact she usually shares her father's genocidal ambitions of culling much of the human race to help preserve the planet. Ra's boils down to an ecoterrorist and genocidal maniac, and Talia his henchman, though when she does strike out on her own, I can't quite get a handle on her motivations. She does tout a desire for "equality and peace" but there's really no standard she gives for what this means, so I can't really see if she's just crazy or if she has good intentions.

I think, even at her best, Talia is a perfectionist and is very strict, intent on Damian being who she wants him to be. I think she has very little empathy or compassion for others, although parts of her, at her best, regret this and she tries to grow. At her worst, she is irredeemably evil, and at her best she is... morally shady to the point of never really being able to be thought of as a good guy.

I can't speak to whether or not racism plays a part in her portrayal either as mustache twirling villain or whatever. I don't know that it's necessarily bad writing because I don't know if Talia was ever intended to not be a horrible person or morally ambiguous, apart from the early days when she was mainly a figure to be pursued by Batman. When it comes down to it, adding sexual assault to her list of crimes is not going to change much because she's a mass murderer, an ecoterrorist, an abusive mother any way you slice it because she's training her child as an assassin, and generally just not great. A fascinating character, yes, but a terrible person.

TL;DR: Talia al Ghul is a terrible person in general, but the Big Incident you refer to has been retconned and is based off a poorly-remembered story. However, considering she's a mass murderer, assassin, eco-terrorist, and also let's face it classist villain, she's still not great even if you remove that from her rap sheet. She's done some cool stuff like putting Lex Luthor in his place and that one Elseworlds story where she left Bruce and gave her son to an orphanage to protect him, but otherwise, once she was made her own character and not just a love-interest-of-the-week, Talia has been morally ambiguous at best and irredeemable at worst. I can't say if it's racist or not because I don't know the motivations in her writing, but I don't know that it's necessarily bad writing to make her unsympathetically evil.

[runecrossed]

Runecrossed Devlog 8/6/2024: Outlines

Woah would you look at that, the game has outlines now! You can read more about the technical process and see more screenshots in the full post.

I always loved the idea of Runecrossed having stylized outlines, but every guide I could find for it had some sort of glaring issue I just couldn't accept (outlines extending "inward" and ruining the shape of models, covering too much and looking cluttered, stuff like that), so I finally took more time to learn how Unreal's post-processing materials work so I could make something that is more like what I wanted.

This shader works by comparing locations on the screen according to how far away they are from the camera, and if two parts have a sudden enough difference, it adds an outline to it - technically applying the outline to the surface behind what you'd expect it to actually be on. Honestly, I'm pretty thrilled about the end result. Having to figure it out for myself was tedious, but makes it more fulfilling to finally figure out in its own way.

That alone wasn't quite good enough, though. It turns out those new iron fences I made recently look absolutely horrendous with the outlines on them, and I couldn't just let them. So, I added a way to exclude outlines from specific meshes with the engine's CustomDepth system, basically a form of masking that let me remove the outline if it would be around these specified objects.

This approach mostly works, but it still has a problem. CustomDepth is a mask that is detected regardless of if the object is obstructed or not, meaning it will cut outlines away through other objects, leading to a sort of ghosting effect under the right circumstances.

I can fix one part of this by only cutting outlines away if the source object's surface is far away enough, which means at least it won't cut away the player's outline when they're standing in front of it, but it will still affect things in the middle distance and onward. If I extend the required distance at all, the fences would still end up having their horrible outlines too early. Hm...

Another quirk of this system is that "thinner" shapes like the string of the balloons or the hint circle get this sort of quadruple-vision, because the outlines are basically just four offset shadows being cast in the four cardinal directions.

I'm not entirely sure how to solve these two main issues at present, but I think I'm okay with accepting them as early quirks for now. I'll probably poke at this shader more at a later time, but for now it's probably best if I move on to the other things I need to release the next test build - specifically some additions to menus, finishing remaining touches on the two levels, and making sure the save/load system actually works.

This post is a lot longer than what I usually post to this blog, and I thought it would be a fun way to engage with the game's development between releases. Please let me know if you enjoy posts like this, and I'll try to keep doing them now and then!