#but it’s my blog I can and should be as melodramatic as I want

[the-ice-sculpture]

Apparently I’ve come back from the dead to gaze with great fondness at the second series of Good Omens.

I think I’ve just really really missed the feeling of something being made with such love and care and people having so much love and care for it in return. It’s like waking up and feeling the sun on your skin. Or like when you don’t listen to one of your favourite bands for a while and then you do and it suddenly just hits you that holy shit you love this thing so so much that you must listen to it far louder than you should just so you can attempt to fully embrace it and you have so much love you have for it that you can barely encompass it all and suddenly humanity and existence might not be all that awful overall, and it’s because it’s art, it’s all art and it’s one of our most redeemable qualities as a species despite how shitty of a species we are and–

[writers-potion]

said is NOT DEAD. our brains have seen it so much that when reading dialogue, it just glosses over it. if you don't want to detract from the dialogue, USE SAID. other words might ground the reader a little too much and lose a bit of immersion.

--this comes from my old tutor who now has a phd in literature

Said Is Not Dead

Of course not! "Said" should still be your go-to speech tag, the benefit being that it flows best. I find it nice to have a larger working vocabulary when it comes to expressing speech, though, and I think many writers would agree! It's one thing to use "said" because you know it's the best word choice and another to keep using it because you can think of no alternative.

Having said that:

". . . Don't tell me your character 'excaimed,' 'stated,' or 'replied.' When in doubt, just use 'said.' That's all. Maybe they 'answered.' They certainly did not 'retort.' You can use 'said' more often than you think . . . it's one of those words that takes a while before it starts sounding repetitive." -- Ariel Gore, How to Become a Famous Writer Before You're Dead

"The best form of dialogue attribution is 'said,' as in 'he said, she said, Bill said, Monica said." -- Stephen King, On Writing

"Mr. [Robert] Ludlum . . . hates the 'he said' locution and avoids it as much as possible. Characters in The Bourne Ultimatum seldom 'say' anything. Instead, they cry, interject, interrupt, muse, state, counter, conclude, mumble, whisper (Mr. Ludlum is great on whispers), intone, roar, exclaim, fume, explode, mutter. There is one especially unforgettable tautology: '"I repeat," repeated Alex.' The book may sell in the billions, but it's still junk." -- Newgate Callender, in The New York Times Book Review

"Editors and critics often refer to melodramatic dialogue tags as 'said bookisms.' They know that these phrases give our story an amateurish look. Your readers might not know what the darn things are called, but chances are that they'll notice them, too . . . In most cases, the word 'said' would work just fine, and using said bookisms detracts from the dialogue." -- Ann M. Marble, "'Stop Using Those Said Bookisms,' the Editor Shrieked."

"[Say is] just too simple and clear and straightforward for many people. Why say something when you can declare, assert, expostulate, whine, exclaim, groan, peal, breathe, cry, explain, or asseverate it? I'm all for variety and freshness of expression, but let's not go overboard." -- Patricia T. O'Conner, Woe Is I

"In journalism circles, said is a virtue--simple, precise, and unadorned--and alternatives to it are considered frilly and silly. You don't have to agree, but be aware that lots of editors hold this view. Choose your alternatives to said with great care." --June Casagrande, It Was the Best of Sentences, It Was the Worst of Sentences

"We're all in favor of choosing exactly the right verb for the action, but when you're writing speaker attributions the right verb is nearly always 'said.' The reason those well-intentioned attempts at variety don't work is that verbs other than 'said' tend to draw attention away from the dialogue." --Renni Browne and Dave King, Self-Editing for Fiction Writers

Side Note: After a month-long hiatus while this uni writer struggled with exams, internships, interviews and multiple mental breakdowns, I am going to resume answering questions that have piled up in my inbox! Get ready to be bombarded with writing QnA!!!! :)

If you like my blog, buy me a coffee☕ and find me on instagram! 📸

[eff-plays]

A personal rant about BG3, Larian, and writing fanfic

So let me preface this by saying that I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I don't fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on?

I am not really a fanfiction writer, which is ironic considering some of my first writing was fanfiction. Since then, it's been nothing but original fiction. The Wayhaven Chronicles was the game I started writing actual fanfic for, and that was only a couple of years ago (nobody look at me I haven't updated in forty years). I'm very new to the genre, basically. I barely even read fanfic, as for most of my life I've just been like "Well it's not canon anyway so what's the point of it?" and it's only recently that I've gotten more into it and understood the "point".

That is all to say that when I started writing my BG3 Tavstarion (I know, so new and never seen before) fic, I wanted it to be based as closely on the game as possible. To the point where I would boot up the game to get the smallest details right; which boxes were where and had what in them, the inflection of a character's voice, the movements, the animations. I could look it up on Youtube, but it felt like cheating -- I had to be there, as my OC, and filter it all first-hand through their thoughts. That way, my fic would have a solid foundation of canon on which I would build their story.

I admit, that's the main reason I've kept the game installed despite burning out of actually playing it months ago. Because of my stupid OC that I love. Here's what I even made the Steam banner look like.

It might be silly -- I would never hold a fic I read to these dumbfuck standards, anyway -- but it felt right. I'm writing a canon-compliant fic, so of course I need canon to support it. Maybe not to the extent I was doing it, but the fundamental idea made sense to me. I wanted my deviations from canon to be minimal and well-informed. Because I loved the canon and that's what made me love the game, and in turn my OC. It was all connected, you see?

Which brings me to the patches. The updates. The scene changes. All of it. I wanted to stay true to the game, so I hung onto it for dear life, letting it clog up my PC's storage just in case I needed it for fic purposes. But now ... what's the point? Larian won't leave well enough alone, so to which version am I staying true? Why should I respect canon when Larian can change it at any moment if a vocal minority has issues with something I personally enjoy and want to include in a fic? At this point, my personal experience doesn't matter -- my Tav's version of the game doesn't exist anymore. So looking up stuff on Youtube feels right. In fact, it might be my only choice, if I want to see the version of the game where they first and best existed.

And you might think "Wow Eff, that's a long-winded and melodramatic way of saying you're uninstalling the game!" Well, yeah. This is my personal gaming blog, so of course I will put my big gamer feels on here. That's just what I do. But this is the first time this has happened to me, where I feel like there's just no point in respecting canon at all, and I want to document that feeling. I was trying desperately to stay true to Larian's vision, playing the game when it brought me no joy just so I could then write fic which does bring me joy. But why do that? Larian does not respect me, and more importantly, they don't respect their own stories. So why should I?

Anyway, yeah. I'm uh. Uninstalling the game, finally. I will keep writing my fic, as that still brings me joy, and apologies for getting shit wrong, but at this point the game I remember doesn't exist anyway, so what's the point in getting the current game right?

The only thing I'll miss is being able to take screenshots of my Tav, and making gifs of them. I modded in a unique face for them (and long-time followers will know how much I struggled with that) and now that won't be as easily accessible anymore. I don't think it's a waste, though, not with how much joy it brought me, and I'll still have the files. Maybe I'll come back in a few months and gaze upon them again.

Goodbye for now, my blorbo. You will always be loved. The game you're from? Not so much.

[turnwashingtonsbaddies]

Okay, but as a fandom old, aka someone who's been here since 2014, it's truly disheartening to see what poor sportsmanship most everyone has. I haven't seen this much fandom wank since the airing of 3x4 (believe me, you don't want to have been there for that). I think we're all forgetting that this is SUBJECTIVE, so literally no one is or CAN be wrong! You think so-and-so is hot? Not wrong! You think so-and-so is NOT hot? NOT wrong!

With that said, I propose that those of us who're indifferent, or just here to have a funky good time, should vote for a woman. Why? Because all the people exhibiting poor sportsmanship are rooting for male characters. I'd like to humbly suggest that Peggy deserves to win (just look at who she married), but in the end, I don't really care WHO wins, so long as it's not a guy since I don't want y'all gloating and making things 10x more unbearable than this experience already has been. Go outside and touch grass! Read a book! Smell some pretty flowers!

ok so i genuinely don't even know how to approach this ask but, in the words of robert rogers, "here we go!!"

from where i'm standing, i see all this back and forth arguing (via the propaganda and such) as funny and good-natured, even if it can be melodramatic and catty at times. for me personally, the best part of this bracket is seeing everyone get so passionate about something objectively pretty unserious and, like you said, subjective. like, the political-esque jargon i use in my posts is meant to point out this irony--it's funny to be comparing something as stupid as a hot bracket to something as serious as irl elections

i might be getting it wrong here, but from this ask, it seems you're perceiving pieces of hot bracket propaganda as genuine attacks on anyone who doesn't agree with that propaganda. i personally think that's a bit of an uncharitable outlook to have, but that said, i could just be being overly charitable to people here. i will admit, it is my default position to assume that we're all just having fun here, and it's all not that deep, and that people are being tongue-in-cheek with their posts. i may be wrong about that. if i am, i would genuinely like to hear feedback about that

this ask does genuinely concern me and how my bracket is affecting people's fandom experience. i am one of the bigger blogs in the fandom and this bracket has definitely been a pretty well-circulated event. i did make a joke about wanting to cause chaos at some point, but THAT WAS IN FACT A JOKE. if enough ppl believe this bracket is making the fandom experience "unbearable", i will stop the bracket and delete everything i have up related to it

[calcium-chan]

OLD BULLSHIT DUMP

its time to dump a bunch of stuff i have no other place for but i want online somewhere! its a total fucking shitshow wahoo

first is an alien nine fan comic (its read right to left if it wasnt obvious, oops). this was made as a for an alien nine discord i lurk in. they had missed yuris birthday, and some discussion was had about what present is best to get her. most of the options were aliens?? anyways take this as the anti-kasumi propaganda that it is.

next is two separate love web doodles. uh for anyone who doesnt know i have a half joke love web AU where cybermare and manon just fucking hate each other, and its just sad and awful for no good reason. im sorry shadok, i am physically unable to let blorbos be happy. second image is more of a doodle but i like it. and the first image i thiiiink was made when i was planning out a little one shot comic i never finished. for the 1 of you (oretal) who are maybe curious, i had a bunch of dialogue written out, the comic would have been a really tense conversion that culminates in a shouting match, i had this really cool idea where the comics color palette gets darker and darker as the sun goes down and their little apartment becomes so dark that its hard to see but neither of them want to bother turning on a light (many such cases). i care about these two way more than i probably should, uh thank you silly deer lady for the blorbos.

the next one is a drawing ruru chan (you saw the alien nine bit of this post, you know what kind of fucking blog this is) i keep forgetting i made forever ago. i ended up hating it and never finishing it. i still dont want to bother finishing it but i like it enough now to post it. shinsei kamattechan is one of my favorite bands and i really like this dumb melodramatic song a lot. noko is one of the realest ones going and i hope i can draw something i actually really like one of these days to express my love properly.

lastly i wanted to post this absolute dumb bullshit fuck ass stupid technique. i was commissioned by a friend to make some custom buckshot roulette cards (he is paying me in sandwiches), and i decided that i liked the idea enough to go whole hog at least a little bit. this is just showing the process for the rendering technique im using in krita. i will be posting the final images once theyre all done (my deadline is fucking thursday, pray for me girlie). this method of rendering is super janky but its fucking worked so far! to any aspiring item key artists, please just render shit in blender, save yourselves. looks kinda nice tho once its on a card.

thats it, please listen to "all my little words" by magnetic fields and "cant run away" by brave little abacus. GOODBYEEE ill post my drawmegle drawings next maybe?

[phunockery]

Trigger warning allergic reaction, random etymology facts pertaining to sexual acts, talking about death, the melodrama of trying not to die.

(Spoilers) If you're reading this, it means I survived the night.

This is a timed log after finding out I poisoned myself. I don't think I'll die from it but this sucks and I'm feeling emotional and melodramatic.

11:00ish

If I die tomorrow, I didn't mean to. I promise. I just wanted a drink. I usually don't, it usually upsets my stomach. But tomorrow I turn 34 and I was feeling frisky and wanted something to drink while I play my traditional birthday (and sad mood) game: Sonic 2. So I grab a Kirkland hard seltzer from the fridge. Never tried the brand, but it was black cherry and I like that.

I decided to try to time some of my runs, nothing serious. Beat a couple of my pbs feeling good.

After drinking about 1/4th of the seltzer and I notice that my head is feeling funny and I wonder how a 5% drink was making me feel like that. My game play gets bad, but I beat my PB on Chemical Plant 2.

Aquatic Zone is a mess, mild improvement in act 2... And I start feeling itchy. Hives are building. I grab some Benadryl, chew two and as my chest tightens I look up what could be causing this.

11:15

Apparently there is a filtering process called finning that run the alcohol through animal products, like gelatin.

That comes from pigs.

That I am deathly allergic to.

The company does not have to disclose this information and honestly this a best guess, because what else would make me allergic to an alcoholic beverage?

Now I am sitting here, trying to differenciate anxiety and anaphylaxis. Taking deep breaths, epi pen in hand. I'm not going to call 911 because I can't afford it, if you're mad, join the club. (🦅 Insert screams of eagles and freedom here 🇺🇲)

It's almost midnight. I am almost 34 and I am live blogging my allergic reaction because I have nothing else to do

'call 911' that is far too expensive and I don't want to leave my kids with massive amounts of debt because I decided to get treatment (eagle screaming and freedom noises here 🦅)

I messaged a few friends, but they're busy. My friend is probably going to kill me in the morning when she sees this if I'm not already dead.

I'll probably live... I once survived a wedding where the brides mother unintentionally tried to kill me. I was lucky then because there was a doctor in the house... But that was worse. I had lost my ability to breathe immediately.

I'm just itchy. Soooo itchy. I am covered in hives... It doesn't help that my other friend made dinner and no one put cast iron that has cooked bacon and allergy together yesterday... Which I suffered for. Granted I suffered less then than I am now. Now now, but still itchy and cramps.

11:30

I hope to make it to cramps. I should. I can still breath. I am just so itchy. I hate this. I should be getting rest so I can pretend to have a good birthday. Instead I will pretend to have a good birthday and deal with aaaallll the fallout of having a full allergic reaction.

11:35

Chest is no longer feeling tight. A friend has message saying they are going to bed. I sent a message asking if they have a few moments to just sit with me. I think it was too late, they're offline.

11:40 I'm still itchy. My legs, my arms, my scalp, my chest, my armpits... It all itches. This really sucks. (Remembers that sucks used to be a euphemism for bjs and this fact gives me the chuckles of strength).

11:45

double checked messages to other friends. All unread. Some are online, some are not. But I am still alone so you, future reader, remain my emotional support pen-pal.

The skin around my eyes is itchy like I was crying. I don't think I've been crying. I'm upset, but not like that.

Good news: this won't be my worst birthday.

My worst birthday was in 2009. I was BMT for the USAF and on my 19th birthday, two days before graduating, I was acting unusually confused, was sent to the hospital and diagnosed with viral meningitis. I was booted from the USAF shortly after recovering.

11:50 Hell this isn't even as bad the last 7 years that just got progressively worse. I was let go of my job on my 30th birthday and became disabled two days later. (Barely related). Last year I was coerced into going to a water park (I don't do good with loud noises any more) and I wound up breaking a tooth trying to swim in the shallow waters. My ex was not comforting about it and suggested that I not make a scene in front of my kids because they would get upset.

11:55 I can breathe a bit easier. Still left unseen and I turn 34 in 5 minutes.

3 minutes to go and I am trying to fight the sleepy of the Benny's until I feel less itchy.

2 more minutes, I really hope I don't die, my friends don't deserve to have a corpse in their guest room

12:05 made a happy birthday post on TikTok. My voice is definitely affected, but I can talk and breath.

Still left on unseen. I feel bad that they're going to wake up and find out that a friend reached out for help and help wasn't available. That is going to suck. Hopefully I'm still alive and can tell them they're good and deserve sleep.

12:20 a rando has become the first to wish me a happy birthday. A friend messaged to let me know they're glad I'm safe and they're going to bed so they can work in the morning. They hope I find someone to talk to. It looks like it is just you and me

12:23 the stomach has put in its bid for attention. I will spare you the details. The Benny's are taking effect. I am soooo tired and the body itches slightly less. Except around the eyes, it still feels like I've been crying

12:29 my apologies to my friend: I fear I have destroyed your toilet. It should be fine in the morning.

12:30 the stomach still hates me. I hate me. I just want to go to bed.

12:40 tired. Imma go to bed with my Epi Pen on the bedside table. I wake up to everything anyways. The sudden inescapable lack of breath should be more than enough to wake.

I could really use a 'there there's and a hug. And now my eyes are itchy again, at least I know why this time.

Good night.

[tomatoluvr69]

Crazy funny thing happened in my life last week where I a) slammed into a confusing and unexpected brick wall of grief that knocked me the fuck out and b) got notified that I got a job I really wanted, out of a big pool of candidates, with better pay than posted. This is so funny because in all of the fugue state rotting and like, forcing myself to intake calories while sniffing and despondent, and crying in my car in various parking lots, I literally forgot to freak out and/or prepare for a new job beyond, like, the onboarding portal and whatnot. So I’m literally sitting here the night before, only finally fully grokking that I walk into a brand new terrifying environment full of unknown people, demands, and difficulties, plus the jarring nature (to me!!) of a mangled up, brand new routine. All I can do now is like, pack my meal, take a shower and try to sleep literally at all. Fully have to rawdog it. It’s just funny bc when I’ve wished before in times of transition (like a new semester, moving across states, other new jobs etc) that I didn’t routinely spend the week or two before the major upheaval in dread and volatile emotions…I did not mean “actually, please, I’d like to spend it motionless in my bed alternating between crying and blankness, and forcing myself at gunpoint to eat slop from the fridge that tastes like ash in my mouth for the barebones minimum of electrolytes and macronutrients” lol. Anyways new job tomorrow 🙄 literally anything could happen to me at this point and I’d be like “hm okay” lmao. This has been a melodramatic post but cest la vie…It’s been a wild month. But luckily it’s garden season verrrrrrry soon and that usually fixes me lol. Ok sorry I really should just get a diary at this point. But then my roommates could find it you know. Well they could find this too by checking the router history. But one is a gravedigger and one is a collegiate agroforestry instructor who don’t even know how to use the settings on their own damn iPhones. Ok time to stop typing. Wait this is my blog. I’m literally writing my web log. It’s fine. Ok goodbye for now 👍 time to do my stupid joint pain stretches and then get in bed to reblog :-)

[tenebriism]

GETTING TO KNOW YOU.

respond to the following prompts out of character. then, tag others that you'd like to get to know a little bit better!

ROLEPLAYER NAME: Christina / Tina

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: She/her!

MUSE NAME: // gently gestures towards Muse List.

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: It depends on the day. If I'm at work (which I am most of the week), I can't easily access Discord since it's blocked on the work computers and using our phones is grounds for suspension. So, as long as folks can be PATIENT and not spam me, Discord is the preferred medium. Otherwise, Tumblr IMs are okay, too!

EXPERIENCE: I've been writing pretty much all my life, but on Tumblr, I'd say I've been here... almost 10 years, if I've not already reached a decade?

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: I adore fluff mainly. Too much angst makes things feel forced, and I don't like writing strictly negativity or tense situations. It's just not realistic, no matter how tragic a character's life/backstory is. I love fluffy interactions, I love writing domestic moments, and I love writing big developments. Moments that kind of... shift the dynamic and the world we're building together.

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS:

People who are always negative, or who take things so personally to the point it becomes ridiculous. Vague posting, constant complaining, whining, etc... it gets to be too much sometimes, especially if it's untagged. We're here to write and to bond and vibe; how people manage to add melodramatics and high school drama to this, too, is beyond my realm of understanding.

Making big ship/dynamic decisions without asking me first. There's a difference between something being a surprise (like a marriage proposal), and just flat out moving forward with a big plot point without coming to me to see if I'm okay with it, because my muse(s) very well might not be, and I won't hesitate to state this (it kills the motivation, honestly). Roleplaying involves two, sometimes more people; this isn't a fanfiction, so all parties involved should be considered. Some of my muses don't want children, some of my muses aren't okay with sex, etc, etc. Communication, folks. It's not that hard, and most of the time, I'll be okay with it! Just ask first.

Constantly making blogs for muses and then abandoning said blogs, or remaking blogs multiple times a year. It's okay to want a fresh start from time to time, or to want to pick up a new muse, but I'm not about to keep switching up my tags because you need a new URL every 3 months, and I'm not gonna keep following if I notice you have a graveyard of abandoned blogs.

PLOTS OR MEMES: I'm not the BEST at plotting, especially if it's someone I've not been writing with for a long time, so honestly, memes are a bit easier for me to work off of. It gives me something to work with right from the start, and we can build from there and mold it as we go.

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: It depends on my motivation. I tend to take a very long time with my lengthier threads, so I like to balance it out with shorter threads, here and there, just to keep the muse flowing.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: Motivation tends to hit while I'm at work, annoyingly enough, but typically, late at night works best for me. It's when I'm most active, since I literally stay up all night, lmfao.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: Some of them, yes. Others? Not even remotely close.

tagged by: @serabellyms ;; Thanks, hun! tagging: @hyaciiintho, @ironbloodcd , @box-of-characters , @seeasunset , @r3ys-malt3s3 , @mystiic , @inyvat , and anyone else this may interest!

[13eyond13]

Hello....Do you mind if I ask your top 5 (or top 10) favorite moments from any media that you love (can be books, anime/manga, tv series, movies, games, etc)? Thanks if you want to answer. Sorry if I ask too much....

Hi again @dnana-2809-blog ! Definitely not bothering me at all ♡

Well, I'm going to take this fairly open-ended request as an opportunity to plug the top 5 Alain Delon movies I think you should watch, on account of him being probably my favourite big screen actor ever to look at due to just how ridiculously attractive he was in his prime, and on account of his passing away yesterday.

Here are my top 5 Alain Delon movie recs, ordered from bottom to top:

5. Mr. Klein (1976):

Delon's at his oldest on this list during this performance, so it's not going to be the ultimate eye candy role, but he's still doing his ice-cold amorally charming thing. I remember the movie itself being well done, heavy, disturbing, anxiety-inducing, and very interesting to watch.

4. Rocco e i suoi fratelli / Rocco and His Brothers (1960):

Gorgeous film to look at, long and slow as molasses, tragic and depressingly melodramatic as hell. This is probably the most youthful, sweet and angelic you'll ever see Alain Delon onscreen. I was mostly just staring at him with my jaw on the floor every time he appeared like 😱 he is SO pretty he can't actually be real?? Something about the mournful and nostalgic atmosphere of this movie is just very memorable to me too. I vividly recall the soundtrack to it and where I was and what was going on in my life whenever I was watching it.

3. La piscine / The Swimming Pool (1969):

I might've had the most straight-up fun watching this one of the bunch! Lazy erotic poolside hedonism laced with constant uneasiness, an entertaining subtle domestic strife thriller (starring Delon and his real-life jilted ex-lover Romy Schneider, oof). Great aesthetics, great performances, great late 1960's vibes! This movie pairs nicely as a companion piece with the #1 film on this list, too.

2. Le samouraï (1967):

This might be Delon's most well-regarded or most classic/iconic role. He really embodies the character perfectly, and some say it's because he wasn't any stranger to navigating the criminal underworld in real life himself. I love how lonely and quiet a movie it is. Something about the stark minimalism of it is so effective and so absorbing to me!

1. Plein Soleil / Purple Noon (1960):

I'm a huge Tom Ripley fan in general, and though I'd say this is (unfortunately) probably the straightest Ripley movie, there is nothing much straight about the slinky femme fatale sort of energy he's giving onscreen! Stunning movie visually, and not just because he looks just so dang good on a sailboat with a suntan. Watch it if only to enjoy one of the first times male beauty was shamelessly made the study of a feature film...

[softlyspun]

Costuming Research: Elliott Vale

After the chapter that @ginger-and-mint just put out, the least I can give poor Elliott is a set of costumes. (He would not thank me for it.)

So. This is just about the opposite end of the socio-economic spectrum from Greyson. Elliott is the scion of one of the most powerful families of di-mages, both in terms of political and magical power... and heir to all the pressure and dysfunction that comes with that title.

Elliott's most striking and consistent garment is a black jacket. Sticking with the turn-of-the-century time period laid out in Greyson's post... I'm giving the man an Inverness Cape. You've seen an Inverness Cape before.

Here's Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes wearing a plaid one.

And here's a fashion plate of one from 1901 (Thanks, Wikimedia Commons!)

This one's technically an Ulster Coat, but it's an extremely similar beast.

It's dramatic! It lets you swoop around melodramatically if you're in such a mood! It's a profoundly practical garment, especially if made out of black wool: it can be practically waterproof or snowproof, which is an important factor given Oppendorff's snowy winters. Its silhouette neatly hides the shape of your actual body. (And it's exactly the sort of thing I would have worn at 23 if I hadn't made myself a full circle-cloak, and would have considered the epitome of cool. Still might, actually, if I can ever get the hang of button-holes.)

Under that coat, Elliott is probably wearing high-waisted wool or linen pants (depending on the season), as typical for the turn of the century. (I'm going to have a later post on the specifics of fabric weave/composition, because I have Opinions on how to construct in-period garments with extra stretch to them.)

Elliott is described on his character sheet as "Always dressing in nice clothes, which people chalk up to snobbishness." I would interpret this as him dressing a level more formal than the situation calls for. "The Black Tie Blog" did a fantastic job curating some more formal fashion plates that would be appropriate. I'm including a couple of my favorites here.

We have an Inverness Cape on the left! And such nice high collars! (This set is from 1894). I'm a little torn on whether Elliott would go for waistcoats: on the one hand, wearing one when the occasion doesn't call for it would add another dimension of apparent snobbishness, on the other hand, he's generally hiding under his black coat anyway, and having an additional restrictive garment wouldn't' really help with his di-mage casting.

And, in honor of the latest chapter, we should look at some turn-of-the-century sweaters. These are courtesy of "The Victorian Dancer." Now, it's possible that Elliott would end up with something fairly simple: the Vales don't exactly seem like a "knitted sweaters from the aunts" type family.

This ad from 1899 gives a few options available for sale.

But honestly? I want to put him in something more intricate, with some pretty cabling, like this Guernsey sweater:

Next time, let's dig into someone with potential for some interesting folk designs in his outfit: Bramley Nubbins, and the fun of folk art and embroidery in shepherding communities.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Dan’s POV Masterlist

a great deal of light (falls on everything) (ao3) - bevshanscom

Summary: They have settled, he thinks, in their own way. That has little to do with the fact Phil’s turning 30.

(Dan and Phil celebrate Phil's birthday on the Isle of Man, and maybe Dan's already a Lester)

Brace Yourself (ao3) - AshHansbr0

Summary: Somehow every time I have a dentist appointment you do too and you always sit next to me in the waiting room and ask me ‘what are you in for’ as if we are in prison and this has been happening for two years who are you

Chips (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: Dan struggling with the concept that all healthy couples should fight.

cloud watch (ao3) - howelllesters

Summary: Or, pastel!Dan hates his new journal but writes in it anyway, and accidentally just ends up recording his feelings on punk!Phil, in a suitably melodramatic way.

Covet (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: The only thing making Dan feel alive is his all-consuming crush on the new deacon.

Dan and His Butterflies (ao3) - Raspberrysaxophone

Summary: Very basic: Dan is terribly in love with Phil (the sporty jog). So much so, that Dan joins the school's sports team to be closer to him. As Dan awkwardly stumbles around, Phil starts to take notice of him. A party takes place and who knows what a drunk Dan might do...

down for the count and i’m drownin’ in ‘em (ao3) - kishere

Summary: they’re stuck in a waiting game, the area of time when Dan knows Phil should be beginning his heat and actually /starting/ his heat. preheat has many side affects including wanting to nest, increased libido, irritation just to name a few.

Fortune Cookies (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: Dan gets a fortune cookie and it's been bugging him all day. But he's NOT superstitious.

Getting through a bad day. (ao3) - Septic84

Summary: Dan has learned about his depression and understands it better now, that doesn't keep the bad days from happening.

glow (ao3) - danthrusts

Summary: being a witch is fun until everything is blowing up around you

Hurt me once (ao3) - Augusti_Lila

Summary: song fic of "hurt me once- ben platt"

Dan had decided to confess Phil his love. But sometimes what we plan it's not what we end up having.

I pray for the ground to swallow me whole (Just Like Heaven) (ao3) - AnotherPhanficWriter

Summary: Dan is a recently dumped Youtuber moving into a new apartment in Manchester. But the apartment isn't entirely empty; it's haunted by the ghost of a man named Phil. And although Phil can't remember much about his life, he's convinced that he isn't really dead. In Phil's 'previous life', he worked in Tesco, with only a couple of close friends, no one even knew his name. But now he's in a coma and his spirit is trapped in his house that now belongs to someone else. Will he remember what his life was like and more importantly, what can break this curse? While Dan recruits PJ, his friend who's slightly sceptic about ‘Phil’, to get to the bottom of Phil’s identity, he and Phil begin to fall in love.

In Vino... (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: Dan’s only brave enough when he’s drunk.

(Dan POV version of "Veritas")

It's Growing On Me (ao3) - Profrock

Summary: AU where Dan runs an aesthetic shitpost blog and Phil runs a famous aesthetic plant blog. One day, Phil follows Dan back and they get to talking...

Just A Little Bit's Enough (ao3) - TheUKAmazingDan

Summary: Dan wasn't very happy with what he found on Phil's laptop. The lies and deceit were way too much to deal with calmly, and believe me when I say that Dan was way beyond being calm.

Kiss Me Like the First Time (ao3) - interruptedbyfjreworks

Summary: “Remember our first kiss?” I asked, smiling up at Phil.

He chuckled softly. “How could I forget? That was the best kiss I had ever had. Although, I hadn’t kissed many people before that.”

I laughed and looked down at my hands. Somehow, they had found their way to Phil’s hands, and I was absentmindedly playing with his fingers. “Kiss me like that,” I said suddenly.

“What?” Phil said, startled.

“Kiss me like the first time.”

Kiss Me Through the Phone (ao3) - TheUKAmazingDan

Summary: In which Dan deals with the emptiness of their apartment, but Phil sends something to make it better.

like (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: Phil's out of town and Dan's left alone with their five year old son. All their son wants is for Phil to come home.

Meeting the Parents (ao3) - eremoose

Summary: Phil meet's Dan's parents and discovers the nickname they gave him

Merry Christmas, you spoon (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: Dan is Death, Phil is Life, and Christmas is coming up - their first Christmas together - though Dan's worried: something feels a little...off.

Paper Thin Charade (ao3) - ShoutingIntoTheVoid

Summary: Snippets throughout Dan and Phil's life showing moments they have almost revealed their relationship and had to cover it up.

Also shows Dan struggling with his sexuality and people finding out about their relationship and becoming more confident over time.

People Change Their Minds (ao3) - scifi

Summary: dan falls out of love

Precocious child (ao3) - Septic84

Summary: Dan and Phil's lives change and progress faster than they had anticipated.

The Smirnoff Slip (ao3) - TheUKAmazingDan

Summary: Laurence really hadn't meant to do it; He was only a kid after all. And Dan couldn't be mad at him, especially not after meeting his attractive new principal.

The stranger who loved me. (ao3) - Septic84

Summary: “Well, that’s nice I guess,” he paused, “but I have no idea who you are.”

“Haha, very funny,”

“I wasn’t being funny,”

“What?” I swallowed hard, “You don’t know who I am?”

“No, am I supposed to?”

The Wallflower's Guide to Love (ao3) - Art3misPlayerOne

Summary: Dan is a brilliant but painfully shy and awkward guitar player in a popular local band who prefers to hide from the spotlight. He's content to lose himself in his playing and avoids friendships and emotional attachments, but an accidental run-in with a mystery boy inspires him to reach out to him through anonymous texts.

Too scared that the boy will be disappointed in the real him, Dan doesn't want to reveal his identity and risk losing their surprising connection. When forced to choose between his anonymity and putting his heart on the line, help from an unexpected friendship pushes him far beyond his comfort zone, but will it be too little too late?

when we were younger. (ao3) - dylaesthetics

Summary: dan is seriously in need of a breather after the difficult year he's had, and finds home in no one other than phil

[darkkbluee]

Your Top 5 ships? :3

Hi there, so nice to see you in my inbox again <3

My top 5 ships, hmm? Let's start with the death note ones:

Lawlight: What can I say, enemies to lovers is my favorite. And these two are the best at it, so iconic that they could even be enemies and lovers.

Near/Sayu: Listen, I know these two don't ever meet in canon. But there is something so right about it. Sayu is Light's younger sister, Near can be considered the youngest of L's successors. They both have that younger sibling energy that fits so well together. They can even get together and bitch about their respective older sibling/guardian who are hopelessly stupid in love and then laugh about it too. I ship it.

L/Light/Misa: When two people obsessed with the same person take a look at their love rival and go "huh, I'm impressed at how you chase, we also have a lot in common, how about we get together and enlighten (heh) the one in denial?"

Remisa: Rem is Misa's constant companion and support and I believe if they had been given enough time together, Misa could have come to love and appreciate that too. This is, probably, the healthiest relationship in my ships, given that it's based on a solid foundation (of Gelus's sacrifice), and emotions over time.

A/B: I could have put mellodramatic here. The only reason A and B are here is because, well, they're a mystery with a lot of available fill-in-the-blanks-of-our-love-story. We know A died and B ran away soon after. It leads to conclusion that A mattered so much to B that B could drop everything Wammy's orphanage offered (the private education, the support structure, the connections, the money, a bright future, everything) just because A died. Imo, that takes a lot. A lot. The tragedy of their shrodinger's love story has me place them at fifth place over melodramatic.

Other ships:

I love death note but! I do have ships from other fandom that would be in the top 5 above if it weren't for the fact that most ppl expect to see a death note post on my blog. So, here's other ships below

Naruto and Sasuke (and Sakura): Using an 'and' instead of a slash or a ship name because apparently, the order of the slash is important? I think Naruto and Sasuke have a lot of chemistry and they should get together and elope together away from Konoha lmao. And and and, add Sakura in there. Sakura is determined, driven and obsessive enough to put even the biological Uchiha obsession and Uzumaki energy to shame. She wanted an Uchiha and she got herself an Uchiha, no matter a few literal Gods in her path. They all three deserve each other, to be together and have an happy ever after. Romantic or platonic, I ship them together as a Team <3

Tomarry: No, listen. In Chamber of Secrets, in the book, Harry calls Tom Riddle handsome three times. It's like he took one look at Diary Tom and forgot any word except 'handsome' existed. In Half Blood Prince, when Harry sees the pensive memories, his thoughts about Tom Riddle are all "he's going to grow up to be handsome", "even at this age, he was handsome", "his features were waxy and skin too pale but he was still a handsome man". You see? You get it? All Ginny gets is 'nice skin' and 'nice teeth', Cho Chang gets 'shiny hair'. Tom fucking Riddle gets "so handsome i forget any other word exists oh sorry you were saying Professor Dumbledore?" The movie has a lot of good scenes but it takes away Harry's internal narration that makes me me think he's so gay for Tom Riddle.

Sherliam: I don't know if you've seen Moriarty The Patriot. It's an anime adaptation of the Sherlock books with its own twist. I love it. And the Sherlock/Moriarty (William Moriarty, to be specific) is so blatant. They don't need an on-screen kiss, their chemistry is so good. Sherlock is determined to save William from himself and William is determined to martyr himself to save the world. It's so tender, I can't <3

Wangxian: wei wuxian and lan wanji have such character development, relationship development, such pining and longing and then such shamelessness, I love them. They're relationship goals, once they fix their communication misunderstanding.

[flickerenemyhouse]

your current opinions on each other? (favorite person and least favorite if you want lol)

also i love the blog theme omg

(AUGH TY ABOUT THE THEME :3)

for the sake of me not having to write something repeatedly, their least favs are their enemies ofc. So here’s their favs and other opinions.

Rosalie: My favorite person is either John or Kim-ly. Hah. Thiago: :( Rosalie: you’re a close third. Thiago: well… my favorite person here is John. I dunno about the rest of you guys. John: oh. I.. uh.. okay. Vinny: you guys are boring as hell. Personally? John is either a dick or a little bitch and should pick a lane and stick with it. Rosalie is such a melodramatic mess and always acts like she’s the morally superior one. Thiago pretends we all don’t know what he did and it’s embarrassing really. Alab: oh I like this one. Viola: *entering the room* Didn’t you used to bully John in high school? As well as other people just because you weren’t poor? Vinny: Yeah and I actually apologized and changed. You still have yet to apologize. You’ve done worse, Vi. Viola: Nothing you can prove. Kim-ly: I AM LITERALLY THE PROOF. Nikolai: *looking up from his phone* yeahhh get fucked, vi. Viola: Okay, I’ve known you the longest and I KNOW you are in no place to talk. Nikolai: actually I am in a place to talk. We’ve been given a question. Anyway, this is why Kim-ly is my favorite person and not Miss Italia over here. Kim-ly: Yay :D Viola: I’M LITERALLY YOUR COUSIN. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO “THE BLOOD IS THICKER THAN THE WATER” Nikolai: you know the full quote. Viola: ugh. But anyway I hate everyone here. Alab is the most tolerable though. Alab: cool. Alab: anyway I don’t wanna be here but I think Vinny is my favorite person here. When you’re all loud, it’s for no reason. He makes sense.

Rosalie: Bad take. Alab: You sometimes as well I guess. Rosalie: revoking my statement as we speak.

[vaicomcas]

On Bitterness

cw: very long and cringey self-reflection of an unrepentant, dean critical, spn critical bitter Cas fan. It's actually kind of funny how melodramatic I am.

I once read a post that said, if you hate the show so much, why are you on tumblr writing post after post about it, go away leave us who love it alone. Or, the very fact that you keep going on is the validation of how great the show is. Or, that's a miserable way to engage with media. Or, please only focus on what you like rather than what you hate and "make the fandom better ". Or, do you even know how to consume media, just ignore what you dislike. I see this type of post periodically. I follow few active blogs so I'm sure I only see a fraction of them.

Some of it seems fair enough. To say "I hate the show so much" is an oversimplification because I am obviously consumed by my love for Castiel, and the show created Castiel. Also a lot of the ideas/writing/visuals are brilliant (although quite a lot not so much--but of course, it's easy to criticize and hard to create something that went on for so long). Lots of amazing actors of course. The skills and quality are of course there. But does that validate the show? I say no.

I honestly hate a lot of the overall narrative and underlying values of the show. And I have come to hate the Winchesters, espeically Dean, because of the type of men they stand for--reflecting my own experience and bias, no doubt. Just like how anybody "consumes media": from their own perspective.

I am not looking for reassurance or validation. I don't accept it when I read that people like me are consuming or engaging with media wrong. I don't make any personal criticism of writers or producers (I try not to even know who they are most of the time, though it's impossible). I don't go out of my way to argue with or upset people I disagree with. I tag myself clearly and people can block me. I paid for my DVDs. Within these confines of what my conscience requires, I can consume media however I want. So what if what I share on tumblr is not "positive". I read rage-filled posts about Cas from 2, 4, 7 or more years ago from bitter Cas fans who came before me, and these posts are what I came to the internet for: they made me feel less alone. Yet, there are simply not enough of them. I post to let my own rage out, and to add to this particular voice so others like me can also find it and feel less alone.

I do ask myself all the time: why don't I just let the bitterness go for my own mental health? Like they say condescendingly, "it's a miserable way to engage with media". (what a loser you are is what this means.) They say to be bitter is like drinking poison in order to kill your enemy. I don't dispute that. Yeah it is miserable. Yeah it's truly not healthy. Yeah it infects my outlook in real life too. Can't I just focus on the positive like so many people seem to be able to do? Isn't there so much, so much positive about Castiel?

I can't. Being miserable is the only way for me to love Cas. Only in the first two seasons was he genuinely celebrated (to a degree and not nearly enough), followed by relentless reduction and sidelining of him. I should clarify: it's not his suffering and his pain in the plot per se that depresses and angers me. It's the slander, the subjugation, and the enslavement of his brilliance to serve the main characters who can't hold a candle to him. My kind of love for Castiel means that it would be an insult to not feel sad and outraged about him. There is not even a grain of "positivity" in that show that is uncontaminated with the injustice done to his character. As far as I am concerned, nobody on earth deserves to be happy because of what was done to Castiel, because it could never be undone. (this is hyperbole, of course. I don't actually want to make other people unhappy unless they want company in misery. That's why I put heavy warning on the bitterest of my posts.)

I'm aware of how melodramatic I am about a TV show character. I am aware all of it is written to elicit reactions, all of it is artifice, and I am picking and choosing what I love and hate about it. I am aware there are real social injustices that deserve my outrage a lot more. The thing is I have never cared about fictional characters. It is unfathomable why I chose this sickness of taking Castiel seriously, as real flesh and blood and grace and spirit being in a half-real half-fake universe. If I allow myself to be objective, if I allow myself to acknowledge that he is not real (rather, just the sum of a series of often inconsistent writing and production decisions by a large heterogeneous mixture of people) in order to get away from the misery, I would then also have no reason to care about him at all. And that's unacceptable, at least for now. I dread the day, possibly not far away now, when I will wake up from this dream.

Back to part of why I keep thinking and writing about the show when I am so bitter about it. Something occurred to me. The show didn't just create Castiel out of thin air. The show's underlying universe came from the wellspring of the Abrahamic religions and related lore and a lot of the characters/stories are taken directly from the bible. Yet, it made God and its world order, including heaven and angels, corrupt and evil and ultimately vanquished.

I am not criticizing the show about making God evil. But If the show gets to trash its source material, in fact subverting its source material being the cornerstone of the show, then why can't I?

I am "canon parallel".

[carpenoctem1897]

Warning: this will be another post of pure self pity and whining so I can get it out of my system. I should hope most of you know by now I tend to be a little melodramatic and I also occasionally like to treat this blog like a diary with a captive audience. I hope you consider yourself sufficiently warned :)

Why is it that more often than not I feel like the punchline of any joke anyone is telling? Why is the laugher always at my expense? I know the jokes are being made behind my back (Or right in front of my face) Is poking fun at the way I look or my interests really that funny?

Sorry I just got upset instead of laughing with you.

Sorry I don't get the joke.

While I'm on the topic of my interests and things I care about, am I truly never allowed to share them or express excitement about them? Why does it only seem to be okay when others do it? I feel like the minute I start to share I just get heavy sighs and glares. I really don't understand why. Is it just me? I really try my hardest to keep to myself and not bombard people. I know the things I'm interested in aren't for everyone but why is it seemingly never okay to express excitement over my interests.

Maybe it's selfish of me but honestly having someone simply just listen without getting exasperated and annoyed immediately would really mean a lot. The way people react sometimes honestly just makes me feel like a burden more than anything else. I feel like sharing interests is something so simple. Why does it have to get so complicated? It's just so alienating. It stings the most when reactions like this come from people like my family. If I barely bring something up I'm met with " nobody asked" and " god can you stop talking" I try to keep my chin up but god damn is it hurtful.

Maybe it's just my perception but I feel like I try especially hard to listen to people when they are sharing their interests because I never want them to feel shut down. I just wish people would do the same for me. I'm not asking to have the floor 24/7 but maybe not getting immediately cut off when I get excited would be nice. I don't understand why my excitement is inappropriate.

[kadoodles-on-ao3]

It seems like you have a vendetta against Shulk/Fiora. Like, not just disliking it and preferring Shulkelia but straight up hate the canon ship of the game. Why?

Thank you for asking this! It's an interesting question and I have a quite a bit to say about it (as usual with me aha). So I'll put the details under the cut, but yes, I personally do not like any aspect of the canon relationship/writing of it at all (although I don't go into that here since I talked about much more than I expected lol, if you're curious specifically about what my opinions are on the dialogue/choices in the game regarding Shiora feel free to send me another ask!). Also if you've read my fanfics (genuinely not trying to plug my work haha I swear) and see how I write Fiora and her friendship with Shulk, and especially the fic where I write from her pov for the whole thing, you can see I don't hate her and try to be respectful to her creators and fans! Anyway, for a TL;DR:

Aside from my personal history (which also is part of why I like Shulkelia as much as I do) causing the way Fiora's attraction to Shulk is written to not come off very well to me, and even ignoring what I've seen on the Internet about how people react to these ships and those who like or dislike them, it's just A Thing About Life that there will be parts of media you really like and parts of the same media you really don't, and that's what makes art engaging and impactful and personal and fun to talk about! I'm just someone who always has a lot to say about anything, so don't take my diatribes as anything more than me being passionate about analyzing stuff haha. I still love Xenoblade 1 with all my heart, and me not liking parts of the series such as Xenoblade 2 (very much) or Shiora (at all) doesn't affect how much I enjoy what I do like! It's just another fun facet to delve into for me, whether it's a thing I like or a thing I dislike.

And when all you see and know of me is from a blog that's specifically just for talking about a small facet of one piece of media, I can come off as more melodramatic about my liking of Shulkelia and disliking of Shiora since I don't talk too much about the rest of Xenoblade as a whole, nor anything else for that matter, on here. I promise I don't truly care that much about this fictional love triangle in my day-to-day life, and I'm sorry if I came off as rude about it! If you like their relationship then... I do want to say more power to you, and count this as me having said so, but also I don't feel like I need to because, as you said, it is canon so the Xenoblade devs have been (and probably will be!) providing plenty of enjoyment for you, and so no one should care what a silly singular stranger like me thinks at the end of the day haha.

But if you do, then here's what I have to say:

First off, I just enjoy really thoroughly dissecting everything I like, as well as dislike (as you will soon see!). I like delving into details and analyzing stuff, and sometimes that passion can be a little too obsessive, which can come off as me being passionate in my hatred of The Thing rather than passionate about analyzing why I hate The Thing (which is what's really going on). So it's important to me to say that when I talk about anything I dislike in depth like this, it's not ever meant to be hating on or attacking people who do like it! I just really find it fun to put things under a microscope, both when I really like them and really dislike them, because I enjoy discovering what, specifically, about them makes me feel that way.

I also think it's important to repeat that point about how this blog is both 1) meant to be near-exclusively about Shulkelia and 2) the posts I make here are pretty much my entire online footprint (outside of my fanfic account which is p much about the same topic aha), and as such these are the only things that strangers have to form an opinion about me (much like the common criticism brought up about parasocial relationships). When I log on to this blog I'm here to talk about my Xenoblade OTP or things related to it, and so that's all you see of/know about me. And even though the reason I made this blog is because of how much I like it (I'm kind of obsessive about the things I'm really passionate about, I've been that way my whole life, so that certainly doesn't help either haha), there are things I may like equally or even more, but because they aren't what this blog is for I don't mention them, and so anyone who doesn't know me won't know about them unless I talk about them. When you only see the fraction of me that I'm willing to share, then of course it'll seem like that fraction is the whole me if you never get to see the other 99%.

So much in the same way that I can seem super obsessed about Shulkelia (which, to be fair, I do get that way some days haha) it can seem like I really really hate Shiora too, since the only time I'm going to talk about it is on a blog that's dedicated to a different ship, and since I'm not really a multishipper nor do I enjoy the writing of it in canon, I won't ever have much nice to say about it. And because it's a canon ship that most people seem to enjoy, it's going to come up from time to time on art that either has Fiora/the love triangle involved or in the comments I see on it, and since I have something to say about it I do. Although I do genuinely not like it at all, I try to do it in a way where it's clear I'm not hating on people who enjoy it, either by trying to hammer home that it's just my personal opinion about it, or being super hyperbolic about disliking it in an attempt at humor. But tone and meaning can get lost from brain to text and I'm surely not the best at wording things sometimes, so I don't blame anyone for getting the wrong impression, and if that's happened I do apologize!

For example, if this blog was instead about my love of Mexican food (which is true!) and was meant for being a catalogue of recipes I come across, I'd probably talk in the tags pretty often about how I lament that so many recipes have cilantro in them because I have the weird cilantro-tastes-like-soap gene and so it tastes awful to me (which is also true!). When this happens over and over again on so many recipes that have cilantro, and when this repetition is all you ever get to see about me, it would probably seem like I have a burning hatred for cilantro, when in reality I barely think about it at all, and if something I want to eat has it I'll just politely ask for no cilantro or silently pick it off. I do think the weird gene is interesting, and I have a fun story about how I found out I have it which I enjoy telling, but I'm also just fine eating my food if no one wants to talk about it.

But that comparison isn't perfect, because there's a lot more going on in interpersonal relationships (fictional or not) and why people enjoy them or not. So let's get into that!

I did mention there were personal reasons why I feel the way I do, and to the extent I do, about these pairings, so it's only fair to explain what that's about. All throughout my life up until college I never had anyone show any romantic interest in me, even in high school, while in contrast all my friends as well as my sister had been in multiple relationships, so I felt rather lonely and figured there was something wrong with me if no one would want to date me haha. But I did of course have crushes of my own (that because of the aforementioned thought I had that I was unlikable I never acted on) and one of them was on a mutual friend that my best friend at the time also knew, as well as knew that I liked him. And all of a sudden one day they were going out and being affectionate all the time, including right in front of me even though my friend knew I liked him. That plus my loneliness from before obviously hurt really bad and made me pretty upset for a while haha.

Then on top of that later that year I would connect with someone like I never had before in my life and he "felt the same way", the very first person to ever tell me they liked me and I believed it. I honestly do still think he did like me... yet he would go on to get into a relationship with someone else and all the while repeatedly promise me that I was special to him and that she didn't get him like I did and he'd leave her for me but of course we can still have our deep talks about his personal problems and blah blah blah. There's a lot more to it than that but I'll cut it short and just say this happened for literally every single day for an entire year of my life, and it really deeply affected me for a long time, though I'm fine now of course. Well, it did change me as a human being, but you know what I mean haha. I don't say this to elicit pity (really, don't, I promise I'm fine) but to give you some puzzle pieces to help figure out the mystery of why I dislike Shiora.

So I'm sure you can see the parallels from my life to what Melia goes through, and that's precisely the mechanism that everyone uses to relate to and love fictional characters: they deal with horrible stuff that we can connect back to horrible stuff we've been through, and we empathize with them. That's one reason why so many people love Shulk (including me!), and Melia, and countless other characters. That's kind of what they're here for: to relate to. He just like me for real and all that. So, in the same way my life experiences make me relate so much to Melia, I can also relate those who I liked but never could be with to Shulk and relate their girlfriends to Fiora. And knowing how those real-life relationships ended up and why they didn't work out, I can really see parallels to how Fiora and Shulk's relationship is written, at least with the vibe I got from it on first and second impression. Therefore I both dislike it for personal reasons and the information those reasons gave me about good and bad relationships.

On a lighter note though, there's another aspect to the whole we-like-characters-we-identify-with thing with regards to shipping: I really do think the ships we like (if any) are based on and a reflection of ourselves and what we want in a partner (should we want to have one). Or in simpler terms, our OTPs are often made up of a character we can self-insert as and a character we would marry if they were real haha. And I don't mean that in a bad way at all! It's fun to make up fake scenarios with fake characters that you want to kiss, even when you're not writing direct-self-insert or xReader stuff (which I also don't bash)! I'm certainly guilty of this myself, even as much as I try to write them true to their character, relating so much to Melia and finding a lot about Shulk attractive for reasons that Melia also does means I'm just like everyone else haha. But on the other side of the coin, the fact that I cannot relate to Fiora in so many ways as well as do not vibe with how she treats her attraction to Shulk means I can't really enjoy the thought of them as a couple.

But outside of talking about the canon for just a second more, I think there's an interesting phenomenon(? idk what to call it lol) here that is in this ask as well as many other people's vocalized opinions regarding this game's love triangle: said canon. As in, the concept that someone could like Xenoblade 1 overall but dislike the canon relationship either confuses and/or upsets some people. Which is strange to me on its own, like do these people also get confused and/or mad when someone says they love hamburgers but hate when they have pickles on them? Everyone has their own tastes, and what you like or how much of it you do is just part of being an individual. (Plus I must say it's extra odd with regards to Shulkelia, as I've never seen the same comments/reactions to ships like Meliora, Shulk/Reyn, Shalvis, Dunban/Melia, etc, despite the fact that they're all equally as non-canon as Shulkelia. Maybe it's because the game firmly shoots down Shulk liking Melia so hard? But it also shows how much Fiora likes Shulk, so wouldn't Meliora [which is pretty darn popular as far as Xenoblade 1 ships go, at least from my browsing] be just as "anti-canon"?).

For extra context too, there are. SO. many friendzoned/"haha Shulk doesn't like Melia" memes and jokes out there (and if these people are so concerned with canon, it's weird how often they make Shulk and/or Melia act out of character super hard to push the joke!) which don't really exist to be pro-Shiora and more just anti-Shulkelia. I even came across a guy on reddit who would post Melia fanart every day, and so many of his posts were stalked by this one dude who would write a little rant about how Melia sucks and Fiora is the best, and would really go off if the fanart showed Melia's crush on Shulk in any way. Now he was super downvoted every time but... I've never seen anyone do that for Shulkelia. And yet I have seen quite a few posts of people complaining about Shulk/Melia fans shoving their ship in their faces and how much it sucks as a ship and I'm like i have been trying for MONTHS to find a single scrap of shulkelia content yet find barely anything and what i do find has SO many comments saying they still like shiora or that they hate the art since it's not shiora literally WHO are you talking about??? Like maybe I just am unlucky and have seen literally all 20 or whatever number of instances of Shiora fans being rude that ever existed but... they still do exist. I'm not making this up, in fact I encourage you to go out and search for Xenoblade fan content regarding this love triangle and see how people react to it! That's what I did and that's how I came across all of this!

Anyway, like was there a huge ship war in the early fandom days or something??? If so why can I find no mention of it anywhere except from salty Shiora shippers/Fiora fanboys, like barely any Shulkelia art even exists and I see zero talk from the supposed pushy Shulkelia fans? They have like 30 freaking fics in existence and half of them are Melia sulking about how Fiora is being lovey dovey with Shulk and showing they actually got together after all so don't even really count as Shulkelia fics!! In my searching for Shulkelia content I come across so many comments from people who like the ship trying to downplay their enjoyment of it and placate any potential Shiora fans reading their comments with "oh but Shulk/Fiora is cute too! i still like them together! i only like Shulk/Melia in a close friends kind of way, or just to make Melia happy idc about the ship i just like seeing her smile!" so like... What reality do these other guys live in where they got bombarded with Shulkelia over and over because I wish I lived in it!!! Something's up with some Fiora fans idk. Maybe I just had back luck in my searching, but try it yourself and see. I'm not crazy or making this up, I could just have been seeing all 20 or whatever number of Shiora's rude fans but... they do exist, and I have yet to see similar behavior from Shulkelia fans.

And this isn't all just me being a lurker looking at rando's comments as well. I even have a bit of a secondhand-experience story to tell about it! (The specific timeline of the initial details might be jumbled a bit, but I do remember the gist of it and still have the DMs to confirm some of the facts!)

I used to be active on Twitter, and I followed a lot of different Xenoblade fan artists on there. One day a certain artist posted a WIP of Melia and Shulk laying next to each other on a hill where Shulk was smiling at her, and although the artist deleted it (for reasons you will soon learn about) I think they wrote the Japanese ship name of the two on the tweet for it. Either way, I do recall before the WIP was posted they tweeted about liking Shulkelia, or rather ShuMeri as the Japanese ship name is called, (although in much the same "i like Melia so i like the thought of her being happy. Shulk belongs with Fiora though! i still ship them!" please-don't-be-mad-at-me way that I have never seen a Fiora/Shiora fan do) and wanting to draw something for it. Even though this particular artist posted in Japanese, a language I don't know 99% of, I was able to get the gist of their tweets through the translation feature and my knowledge of what the characters' names are in Japanese. And despite how hard this artist tried to be nice, tried to show how much they weren't trying to be mean to Shiora fans (they even had drawn Shiora art months earlier!), they got a wave of hate directed at them from Japanese fans which I saw in real time.

And if you doubt this because the tweets are now deleted, and because even when they were up I only read them through an A.I. translation, I felt so bad for this poor artist that I DM-ed them (regrettably in English, since I didn't trust my knowledge of Japanese to not end up making me say something I didn't intend or in a rude/informal tone) to show there was at least one other person out there that enjoyed ShuMeri and was excited to see their art. And they fortunately understood my message and knew English to message me back and told me direct quotes of what was thrown at them, which I still have in my DMs and will quote:

"'You are denying the original story. It's too unsatisfying and ugly' 'It's not right to make Shulk and Melia lovers.' someone said. At other times, people have replied to my art, complaining about Melia's behavior in the story, as I tweeted the other day. I've had a lot of negative comments about ShuMeri and Melia." (With regards to the whole "complaining about Melia's behavior in the story" thing, if I recall that was from people saying she had no right to have a crush on Shulk in the first place, which... I thought you guys said canon is sacrosanct? It is canon that Melia had a crush on Shulk, and if you don't like that then you don't respect the canon/story and aren't a real fan. Do you see how silly this sounds???)

So. Tell me if you have ever seen any Melia fans or Shulkelia fans ever behave like this. Because I sure haven't. (Like even this ask [which I am not upset about nor trying to be rude to the anon at all, on the contrary I'm super enjoying talking about this topic! it's just the dichotomy here is interesting to me!) is proof to me: how many times can you say you've seen comments on Shiora art or asks sent to Xenoblade fanblogs asking why someone doesn't like Shulkelia, do you hate Shulkelia, what's wrong with Shulkelia? Like I get one is canon and the other isn't, but like... have you seen shipping culture? Literally all of the most popular ships for any given media are non-canon, that's half the fun of shipping!!!

"Don't let mean fans sour the original work" (and again, just to make sure I'm clear, I do not consider the anon who sent this ask to be mean or rude in any way! I'm referring to other randos here!) and all that, but it's kind of hard for me to like a ship when it has fans that act like this... going around projecting by accusing fans of a different ship of their own behavior, or saying things that contradict their own points about how important canon is to them. Thinking back on how we like characters we can relate to, isn't it interesting how fans of a brash, headstrong, do-what-I-want-and-fuck-the-consequences character who gets everything she wants in canon act in a pushy or even rude way to fans of a reserved, self-reproaching, I-will-do-what-is-best-for-others-first character who has so much taken away from her, and the latter fans always defer to the former and feel guilty when they talk about liking their character even as they do so much to be nice to them? It's pretty interesting I think, it's like when dogs look like their owners or something haha.

To end this off, since even though I have more to say (which if you would like to hear please let me know!) I've talked for far too long now haha, I really want to post the rest of the DM that the artist I talked to (who to this day hasn't made another Shulkelia/Shulkelia-esque fanart again, and interestingly never gets hate on their Shalvis art which is again a non-canon "story-denying" ship, too. Maybe they just blocked the rude people and if so good for them, but it's interesting still that they haven't draw Shulkelia since):

"I think it's useless to argue about who is better, Fiora or Melia, and I don't want them to get me involved in that fight. However, I received words of encouragement from many kind followers like you. I now understand important things; 'Don't worry about mean people' and 'Draw what I like.' Fan art should be free, shouldn't it? If I draw ShuMeri, some mean people might appear again. But there are many more kind people like you. When I think of that, I'm not afraid anymore. I will try to draw ShuMeri one day. Maybe I'll get depressed again because of mean people, but then you can tell me, 'You draw fanart freely, right!'... Please tell me that. You made me feel better and made me cry with happiness. Thank you so much. :)"

-Mirim, who can be found here currently, and their old account where the drama happened is here. This is the piece of artwork they got so much hate for. Shulk and Melia aren't even touching in it and Mirim didn't even mention their ship name.