#but it’s more like I created so much distance between myself and the pain of losing her

[iman-92]

one of the biggest mistakes around grief that i made was avoiding thinking about a loved one bc it was too upsetting. it was a very temporary (but necessary, at the time) fix for feelings i’ll spend a lifetime with but bc of that these days when i think about my sister, it almost feels like i imagined our life together? the pain feels real but the memories kind of feel like dreams. now i’m working backwards and getting myself to look at pictures and videos and bring her up in conversation but every time I do I get so emotional it feels like i’m starting the whole grieving process again.

[noxtivagus]

"sincerity is scary"

[superhaught]

Incurable Cravings (Chapter Four)

Pairing: Regina George x Reader

Warnings: none really, just angsty

Word Count: 2200, Part 4/?

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Continuation of Incurable Cravings series!

Little author's note: I made a small edit to Chapter 2 to fix a plot hole that I created for myself. Regina and Leighton have been living in separate homes for five years as opposed to the original ten.

Regina and reader begin to navigate their first day at school in light of their newfound relationship. Reader learns more about the history between Janis, Regina and Leighton.

Regina’s family was complex. 

You knew that Ms. George used to be married to Regina’s father. Together, they had twin daughters, Regina and Leighton. You were all around 13 years old when they divorced. The resulting custody arrangement was unusual. Ms. George kept Regina and the house, while Leighton went with their dad and moved to the east coast. You vaguely knew that the father, Henry, got remarried to his college sweetheart, who had an older son from her previous marriage. Ms. George kept her maiden name and changed Regina’s last name to match, and has since also remarried and had Regina’s half-sister, Kylie. Regina’s stepdad, from what you knew, was a high-ranking military official. He didn’t see combat, but he was almost never home. All of them seemed to prefer it that way. 

Regina and her stepdad famously did not get along well, so his frequent absence was appreciated by her. And Ms. George enjoyed being able to maintain her independence. She often referred to herself as a single mom, even though she, objectively, was married.

You hadn’t seen Leighton since she moved away, and based on what Regina had said, she had rarely seen her twin either. You were positive that the distance must be hard on them both. Regina and Leighton had always been each other's' best friend when you were younger. They were practically joined at the hip. You remember that when Leighton moved away, Regina didn’t come to school for almost two weeks and she wouldn’t see anyone.

The divorce, and your small friend group falling apart, all happened within the span of a year. And now, as Regina slept peacefully in your arms, you wondered just how much pain she had been carrying.

It broke your heart. 

In spite of your racing thoughts, you eventually gave in to sleep yourself and were able to get a few hours shuteye before Regina’s alarm was going off and waking you for school. Regina groaned and snoozed the alarm once before turning over and curling up against your chest.

You giggled at how cute she was being and took to kissing her head and playing with her hair for those ten extra minutes. You felt her press a few soft kisses onto your neck and then the alarm went off again.

You reached over her and turned the alarm off and then rubbed your palm over her upper arm. 

The blonde smiled and whispered, “good morning…”

“Good morning, sweetheart. How are you feeling this morning?”

Regina yawned and stretched her arms out a little before responding, “better than I’ve felt in a while.”

“Good.”

She met your eyes, “am I remembering last night correctly?”

“What do you remember?”

She hesitated for a moment, examining your expression, maybe considering dropping it, “I remember you saying that you love me…”

You nodded your head, “I did, Gina,” you tucked some hair behind her ear, “I said ‘I love you.’”

She nodded back and bit down on her bottom lip. You could see the anxiety mounting in her through her tensing muscles and rapid eye movements.

“I…” she began.

“Shhh…” you leaned in and captured her lips in a kiss. 

She melted at the contact and let her hand travel over your shoulder and up the back of your neck to hold you close. Regina held you in that kiss for a long while and then just silently nodded again as she pulled away.

“Thank you…” she whispered. 

And thus, only a fraction of your conversation actually  took place out loud. You never really imagined having a bond like that with someone, not after the years you had lost of growing with Regina and Janis as your closest friends. But right here, in this moment, Regina knew without a shadow of a doubt that you had meant what you said. And you knew that she felt the same way about you in return. 

You both took a minute more to play with each other’s fingers as you held hands in the bed. 

The blonde kissed your hand and whispered, “I wish we had time to enjoy more of each other instead of going to school…” 

“I do too, trust me.” 

“I just want this gorgeous body of yours all to myself, all the time…” 

You smirked, “you are such a temptress… but don’t worry, Gina. I’m all yours.” You kissed her cheek and then her lips again, obliging her when she grazed your lip with her tongue to deepen the kiss. You shared a few more kisses like this before Regina finally forced herself to sit up. 

She looked sore and stiff in her movements. You reached out to gently touch her back after she sat up and you asked, “do you want help getting up?” 

“No, no… I’ll be okay. Thank you baby.” 

You got ready for the day together. Regina happily let you borrow some of her clothes that she reserved for wearing only around the house. No one would likely be able to tell that they were hers, not that it mattered to you. 

Ms. George had fixed you both a quick breakfast and offered you free reign of the pantry to make yourself a lunch. 

Regina, with a little bit of encouragement from you, managed to eat a cup of yogurt with granola. 

“I’m gonna go start the car, you coming?” Regina asked you when she finished eating. 

“Yeah, go ahead, I’ll be right out.” 

Regina nodded and left through the front door of her house. You heard the engine of her Jeep start and you turned to Ms. George, who was scrolling Facebook on her phone while eating her own bowl of yogurt. 

“Ms. George?” 

She looked up at you, “what’s up, sugar?” 

“Do you have Leighton’s phone number?” 

Regina held your hand the whole car ride to school and walked inside with you, only dropping your hand once you were in the presence of others. 

Regina saw Gretchen and Karen waiting for her at her locker so she turned to you and gave you a sweet goodbye with a quick, stolen kiss to your cheek before she split off from you and resumed her normal. 

You realized that the two of you hadn’t discussed this part. You didn’t know how long it would be this secret between the two of you, but you hoped not long. 

But you were greeted with your own smack in the face from reality when you walked up to your locker. Janis stood there, waiting for you. 

You took a deep breath, “hey.” 

She crossed her arms in front of her chest, “hey. I want to try this again.” 

She stepped out of your way as you opened up your locker and she continued when you didn’t really say anything in response, “yesterday, I know I approached you about Regina in the wrong way, and I’m sorry.” 

You grabbed one of your textbooks, “thank you. I forgive you.” 

“But… I’d really like to talk to you about this. I saw you leave that storage closet with her. And I saw you go home with her after school yesterday. And, oh my god, you’re wearing her sweatshirt.” 

Shit. Of course Janis would recognize it.

“And? What exactly do you want to know?” 

“I… well, like what are you guys doing together? Are you hanging out again?” 

“I guess we are… yeah. We’re hanging out.” 

“Why?! Why would you do that?” 

“Janis…” your voice betrayed your sadness and frustration. 

“No seriously, come on! You’re one of the only people who knows the truth about what Regina has put me through! I thought you would be on my side!” 

You pinched the bridge of your nose and inhaled, “Janis, it’s more complicated than sides… and, and I don’t know that I do know the truth!” 

“What do you mean? You were at that party! You were there!” 

“I mean, why does Regina think that something happened between you and Leighton?” 

Janis’ jaw dropped, “what?” 

“What happened between you and Leighton?” 

“What did Regina say?” 

“She didn’t say anything specific, only that you hurt Leighton somehow.” 

“I…” Janis clenched her hands into fists, “that has nothing to do with me and Regina! I don’t even… you knew how I felt about Regina… you don’t really think I deserved what she did, do you?” 

“Janis, no. I don’t think you deserved it. I don’t think any of us deserved anything that happened, Regina included. I think we were kids with a lot of complicated feelings.”

Janis stared at you incredulously. 

“Didn’t you guys make up at the dance last year?” 

“No. We didn’t. She was high on pain medication. She didn’t forgive me and I didn’t forgive her.” 

You sighed, “Look, right now, I know that Regina wants me around and I’m okay with putting things behind me so that I can be there for her. But you don’t have to do that. Just don’t get mad at me for trying.”

She stared at you again. 

You closed your locker door, “you weren’t the only one of us who was in love with her, Janis. You weren’t the only one who lost her, okay?” 

You walked away from Janis for the second time, once again, unsure whether you were making the right choices in navigating this whole thing. You couldn’t exactly tell Janis the whole truth about your relationship, not without consulting Regina about it first. But you knew it wasn’t fair to leave Janis completely in the dark either. 

You sat through your math class unable to pay attention to a single word out of Mrs. Norbury’s mouth because you were so caught up in how complicated this all was. 

On your way out, Mrs. Norbury called you up to her desk and you obliged. 

“Hey, you doing okay?” 

You nodded, “yeah, I’m just having a weird week. I’m sorry for spacing out.” 

She gave you a half smile, “look, I know your grades are going to be fine, that’s not what I’m worried about. I just want to make sure you’re alright.” 

“It’s just friend stuff.” 

“Alright, well, just remember that graduation is right around the corner. You need to make sure that you’re thinking about what you want.” She smiled at you as if what she said wasn’t annoyingly vague. 

“Have you told anyone else about your acceptance letter yet?” She continued. 

“No… still only you and my parents know. I’m not ready to tell anyone else yet.” 

“It’s been a few months now, you’ll have to start telling people eventually.” 

“I know… I just…” 

Mrs. Norbury waited patiently for you to finish. 

“It hasn’t really sunk in for me yet.” 

She raised an eyebrow. You knew she was suspicious of your answer but she let it go, “okay. Well, if you need anything, just let me know.” 

You nodded and left her classroom. Your heart was pounding. 

Until yesterday, there was no one that you were overly concerned to talk to about your college acceptance. But now… you’d have to find a way to tell Regina that in just a few short months, you’d be moving to Boston for college. 

You hustled to your next class and pulled your phone out as you sat down in your seat. You quickly started a new message to the number that Ms. George gave you. 

When you left that class, you checked your phone first thing and you had a text back. 

“Is Regina okay?”

You typed your response as you walked, “Regina is okay, but there’s a lot going on right now and I could use your help. I’m sorry to text you out of the blue like this. Your mom gave me your number.”

“So, you and Regina are friends again?”

“Yes.”

“Janis, too?”

“That’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about… what happened? If you don't mind me asking…”

It took a minute for Leighton to respond. You watched the little bubble that indicated she was typing until her message back finally came through. 

Leighton wrote, “honestly? Looking back, it’s stupid and I’m p sure Regina overreacted.”

Leighton tells you that when you were all kids, Janis confided in her that she had a crush on Regina. Janis begged Leighton not to tell Regina, and Leighton agreed, not seeing any reason to hurt Janis and ruin the friendship between the girls. But sometime later, Regina came to know the truth and talked to Janis and turned her down kindly. Janis was still mortified, but beyond that, she was pissed. Janis assumed that Leighton told Regina and wanted to get back at her for it. Janis knew that Leighton had a big class presentation coming up and she came to school wearing a beautifully pressed, matching white suit jacket and skirt. Janis loaded up her lunch tray with everything that the cafeteria had to offer that would stain and then “bumped” right into Leighton, dumping her entire tray onto Leighton. 

It was petty. It was stupid. It was misinformed. But it made Leighton cry in the bathroom, and that was something Regina couldn’t abide. Regina planned her revenge, and that’s how the spin-the-bottle party happened. Janis embarrassed Leighton, so Regina embarrassed Janis with the best ammo she had in her arsenal.

Next Chapter

[kanmom51]

Missing Jikook today

Not that I don't miss them every single day, but just saying...

@wonsummernight Miss your edits!!!!!! I know there isn't any new Jikook content just yet, but if there was a time we were in dire need for some heart wrenching Jikook edits, this is it!!!

Basically, this is me telling you "PLEASE COME BACK". 💜💜

So, I came today to cry a little, you know commiserating together with others takes the edge off a bit (note to self: keep telling yourself that, and you might start believing it too...), but also to remind y'all that SM is crap, a viper pit, a cec pool, where all the miserably unhappy ignorant assholes tend to flock to (this is about the assholes that have turned sm into such a place), either to create drama that will get them some much needed attention they aren't getting elsewhere, or to create a parallel universe where their dreams and wants come true, even if they have zero standing in reality. Oh, and I forgot those that are there to make some hard cash, by all means.

And why am I mentioning all of this, you may ask?

Well, because for some reason my hopes and dreams for a fandom cleanse are being shattered as we speak.

As you may already know, I've taken a step back lately. mainly distancing myself from SM, as it's been going downhill for ages now, but has become an even uglier place to visit in the past few months, I'd say ever since it's been known that JK and JM are enlisting TOGETHER and will be serving TOGETHER, basically being in each other's close vicinity 24/7 for 18 months (even if not sharing exact same duties within the unit) and spending off time together . And to clarify once again: Same unit, same posting (base), different duties within the unit.

You'd think that 3 months in, and after the initial shock, reality and truth would set in (even with the most delusional) that these two young men CHOSE to enlist together (free choice and steps taken by both of them to achieve this). And once again me reminding they are the only ones in the group to decide they want to do this and the only idols to ever do so.

But no. Who am I kidding? Probably wishful thinking on my part. You know, that these people will either wake up, smell the roses and just cope with reality, or plain and simply piss off (that's probably me being delusional at this point).

Point being, it's gotten even worse. Like who would have believed that would happen? Yeah, probably should have seen it coming though. When you have cult behavior, when you have those that profit off it (monetarily or otherwise), I should have known it would go this way. The need to dive even deeper into the filth of this earth, to create even dumber narratives, to, of course, spew even more hate towards either of them (depending what delusional team you are on).

Should have seen it all coming.

Sadly, instead of just leaving, tail between their legs, they are doubling down on their utterly delusional beliefs regarding these young men. Not without pain, I may add. Pain, that a small part of me, someone that tries very hard to be nice and good and positive, is now relishing (I lie... not that mall of a part after all). Their twists and turns, their made up shit to compensate for whatever shit JK, JM or Tae are throwing their way... kind of priceless. I mean, if they aren't going anywhere, should we not at least enjoy their demise?

Does that make me a bad person?

Honestly, I don't think so.

And Jikook being away from most of this, lighting the fire and walking away leaving their haters behind to burn, was a nice touch.

Now we just sit here silently wait for our little travel show...

💜💜

[k-s-morgan]

TGSTLTH related

Ok so I decided to do it here cuz I don't know will AO3 allow me to write essay hahahahah 😂😂😂

I don't even know how to start this. I've been reading fics for 13 years straight, like I don't remember the period of my life where I didn't read them cuz I always have some ship active and I'm crazy BL fan. Only a small number of them can make me crazy to the point I don't wanna sleep, eat, skipping my obligations, killing the pain and your sebaciel did everything. I haven't felt like this reading fic..,maybe ever? This is totally another level of me being fascinated by some writer.

I adore sebaciel, I'm in fandom since 2016 but the biggest problem I had with their fics is that - either people go too much OOC with them orr they rush up the things between them, going quickly with sex and feelings. It bothered me so much so I was crawling for good SC fics as crazy!!

After some break with SC, I came back to ao3 and saw your long fic. I started reading it but I dropped it after 3 chapters, I got bored cuz I thought you are gonna just re-type manga and do classic thing which another people do. Quickly, I got disappointed with another one and idk how but I decided to give your fic one more chance and dear lord......that was one of the best thing I have ever read. Maybe even the best.

Like, how smart are you? What's your IQ? Your manage to explain me some things about Kuro plot which I haven't udnerstand by myself. And the way you write Sebaciel relationship. That's everything I have ever wanted. Everything. They have normal conversation and that's it, that's all I need cuz there is everything. I feel electric every time when they talk, fight, do things together, goood the little touches svbjhsdjvbvbvbvbvbsdjvhbdf. I was tense whole fic. I read it for like 10 days, abandon everything until I finished it and now I feel sad ahahhaahha. But you are really something special, cuz I always used to say that manga itself is the best fiction cuz Yana knows the best how to create good Sebaciel energy. You, next to Yana, did the best job. You kept them as they are, never broke the character, and that's what I am most grateful. Slow burn, with drama and angst, love and attention, all misunderstanding, you put all necessary spices for 5 star meal. My fav part is when Ciel told Sebastian to add slamming doors to his most dramatic moments of his life ahahahahahahhaha 😂😂 I laughed like crazy, they are so precious♥ And I really wanted kiss to happen when Ciel lied Sebastian about another demon, that was sooo svbjhsvjhjhvbdf. But okay, you know the best, I trust you fully with this♥

The fact that they are ready to kill each other before they have normal conversation about their feeling is my fetish. I am in love with toxic things. Ciel ready to throw all game just to prove Sebastian that his value is not only his soul, right after he told himself for 1000 times he needs to stay on distance..... I LOVE ITTTT!!! I also need to say that you find PERFECT balance for good plot and romance. Your games and their cases...I just don't know, deep bow for you queen🔥💯After all, you didn't retype drama ahahaha but you manage to keep it canon without changing anything but still adding your spices so it's not ordinary Kuro plot we see every day....

I just have one question. From time to time, I was like a Bard ahahhaha, so sick of their games and my head hurting me, but on a good way. I am clear about Ciel but what about Sebastian and his disgust for Ciel's nicer, soft, emotional side? I know Ciel doesn't have it a lot, but would Sebastian still be grossed out about it as he was at the beginning of a contract or not? Keeping in mind that he is more and more obsessed with a boy?

So, that's all. I don't know how to use Patreon/PayPal, but for you I'll try cuz I only have credit card and that's all I know ahhahaha, I like to keep money in my hands😂 I'm sad about the situation in your country and all under - war countries. It's not bringing any good for anyone, specially for civilians. I hope you are okay and I wish you alll the best, the good karma must hit you really quickly cuz you made one person really, really happy here♥

Looking forward how will you finish this story, have a nice day❤

PS - this is the longest comment for fic I have ever left ahhaha, it's crazy how you got me sooo hyped up bjcvsdghvbds.

Hi! Ooh, thank you so much for your amazing, wonderful essay! I can't tell you how happy it made me! I think the electricity was already started being cut off when I got it, so I could see I have some really lengthy ask, but it wouldn't load. It was the torture of the most delicious kind :D

Like you, I've been reading fics for ages now, and the moments where I find some fantastic story that won't let me sleep or work or even blink are always the happiest and the brightest spots I remember. So it's extremely flattering to know that my story has become something similar to other people.

I love writing about smart characters, but most of them are definitely smarter than me! The benefit is that since I'm writing, I can think and plan everything in advance. In real life, I only wish I were as quick-witted and inventive. Alas, the best ideas and arguments come to me when they are no longer needed.

I love slow burns, and I love characters who abhor the idea of expressing their feelings, so Ciel and Sebastian have the most perfect dynamic in my eyes. I feel like I could spend the eternity just enjoying their Gothic world with their games, arguments, plots, and so on. Them antagonizing each other only to instantly team up against the common enemy is my most favorite thing in the world.

As for your question, right now, Sebastian would be thrilled if Ciel were to show a softer and more vulnerable side - at least in relation to him. Well, a part of him would feel the automatic need to mock him for it anyway, some habits don't die easily, but Sebastian's feelings have evolved a lot, plus Ciel is cold more often than he is not. So Sebastian treasures every word of praise, every hint of appreciation and need because they are so rare - he's come to crave them, and he has memorized all known cases of them by heart.

And no worries about supporting me! I really appreciate you taking your time to leave such a fantastic review, it made my day!

[xox-little-troublemaker-xox]

Did you miss us?

Pairings: Wanda x reader , Natasha x reader , yelena x reader

Words: 1,319

Warnings: 18+ Dark Themes, blood,knife kink ,magic use, restraints,Cheating, slight CNC, Use of Toys, Mommy/Daddy Kink, Orgasm Control?, Strap On Sex, Oral (R,W,N receiving) Semi public Sex, Kidnapping? Language Warning , Dom! WandaNat, Sub! Reader …… if missed any let me know

This is my first ever time writing a fic so I’m sorry if bad or terribly written I also terrible at proof reading so I’m sorry for any spelling mistake or grammatical errors forgive me please . Also would like to give thanks and credit to @yelenasdiary for helping with this

I woke up from a cozy nap on the sofa with my beautiful girlfriend Yelena , her arms wrapped round my waist she was still peacefully sleeping . So I carefully wiggled out of her grasp and replaced myself with pillow so I wouldn’t disturb her sleep and decided I would go out on nightly walk while she sleeps I went up stairs and got dressed and headed for the front door.

The crisp cold weather hit me like a slap in the face as I made my way to forest. Walking in the dark gloomy woods during winter sounded like great Idea till I found myself being thrown on the ground head hitting one the massive tree roots. I got up trying to see what just happened with throbbing pain coursing through my veins up to point of impact of my head vision slightly blurred. For as far as my fuzzy head could see there was nothing so I tried walking back to try get some help so I could get to a hospital. each step I took I could hear the echoing sound of another this caused panic to hit me like a brick and trying to move as quick as possible but also as quite as possible so I could to not alert the other person in the forest of my where bouts.

I got to point where I could see specks of light and roads poking through the trees, I got excited and celebrated in my head that I was so close to safety. just as I was about to get through the last of the trees , I was grabbed by my legs and dragged back. I must have hit my head again because when I opened my eyes, I was tied to a tree blood slightly pouring out over the ropes I could hear the sound of crackling fire behind me. I turned my head as far as I could to see a roaring bright orange fire inching towards me that's when it hit the smell of petrol around me it was extremely potent right where the ropes were tied round me. As much as it hurt me, I moved as much as I could to try and escape but the more I moved the more friction I was creating between the tree and the rope.

The rope set on fire due to the friction I was creating which burned some of the rope causing it to rip a part and me being able to slowly wriggle my way out the ropes and fall to floor due to my body being so weak from exhaustion and blood loss. As I was getting up from the ground I got lifted up and thrown back into the the tree. The weird thing is I couldn’t see no one anywhere that’s when I realised the red that was swirling round my waist “ Wanda” I tried to scream with most the energy I had left in my body that’s when I heard two faint sadistic laughs in the distance heading towards me I couldn’t figure out who the second person was till a familiar knife came flying towards my head it just skimmed the side of my face that’s when I look and realised it’s one Natasha signature knives .

That’s when the pair came into my eye view. I was bought to the floor still being restricted by Wanda magic. After sitting there unable to move while they talked for what felt like forever they approached me Natasha spoke first “hi y/n my love” said in a sickly sweet tone Wanda spoke next “we missed you” Natasha approaches me bringing a knife to my throat and whispers in my ear and says “did you miss us kotenok” I’d be lying if I said that didn’t send heat straight to my core . She licked and nibbled my ear and my face Betrayed me it’s was flushed bright red I could feel the smirk plastered on her face . She began kissing my neck and said “tell me you don’t want us and I will stop” when I didn’t respond she bit my neck slightly causing me to moan and scream “ YES PLEASE DON’T STOP” that’s when I found my self flipped on to my back my clothes magicked of by Wanda and Natasha eating me out as If I was her last meal I could see Wanda slowly massaging her clit to the display in front of her seeing her like that turned me on more .

In between moans I begged for Natasha to keep going and Wanda to come over “ Wanda please” but my pls fell on deaf ears “that’s not my name kotenok” I knew what she wanted to hear and it wasn’t till Natasha sucked my clit harshly that I ended up giving in “ MOMMY PLEASE” this was like music to Wanda ears because that’s when she sat her self on my face and said “ you don’t get to cum till I do “ I begin bucking my hips against Natasha face and she can tell I’m getting close so she stops completely and the whine I let out into Wanda pussy earned me a slapped to the thigh from Natasha “ mommy said no cumming till she does so none of that get back to work” she said as i now feel her on my thigh she started riding my thigh spreading her wetness. I was going whine again till I felt her shove 2 fingers into my tight hole causing me to flex my thigh arch my back and moan send vibrations through Wanda which ended in Natasha to moan as well and Wanda to cum on my tongue “OH GOOD FUCKING GIRL” Wanda screamed.

Wanda climbed off my face only to magic her favourite vibe to and strap it against my clit. Natasha got off my thigh and took Wanda original space on my face. With Natasha on my face I couldn’t see what wanda was doing , she hadn’t turned the vibe on so I was suspicious to what she was going to do was I just going to be left on the edge?! Of the blissful finish line I was waiting to go over . I had all these silent questions till I felt something poking at my entrance then entering me. I knew just by the feeling it was Wandas favourite strap, she ended up bottoming me out which caused me to moan loud sending vibrations into Natasha. When she felt I had enough time to adjust she turned the vibe on and began to thrust into me at an unforgiving peace I didn’t take me long to be right at the edge again moaning away into Natasha pussy causing her to fall over the edge.

Natasha climbed of me and began using her knife to lighting carve the initials N and W into my stomach this turned me on so much more adding to my arousal . With the vibrations and wanda brutal peace I was getting lost in pleasure and they both could tell I was close with the arching my back they simultaneously said “ cum for us pretty girl” and with that I let go. After I had cummed Wanda used her magic to clean us all up and clothe us all. I tried to get up but my legs were like jelly Natasha saw this and laughed “mommy fuck you that good?” She said with smirk plastered on her face . I eye rolled her at that comment and with full attitude said “whatever” that was a mistake on my part because I was then thrown over her shoulder and she spanked me and said “what was that slut had something to say” I stayed quiet after that I knew better then to speak up again.

@whorecollector69 here’s your fic

[lesbianslvt666]

Road Trip?

College au!

Mean! athlete!Ellie x trying to stand up for herself! Kind of an art major?(f)reader lmao

Ofc not proof read

pt 2 pt 3 pt 4 pt5

Synopsis: Ellie and you are roommates in your shared dorm, both in different majors, you ever see each other when it comes to be at the dorm, on parties or with Dina, your shared best friend. At first Ellie was nice, always kept to herself but never mean, until she got her first college girlfriend, everyone keep telling you how much she looked like you, including Dina. So when Ellie "cheated" on her ex, her reputation went from friendly reserved football player, to fuck girl, "I got all the girls" asshole, or so it seemed to you…

My eyelids dropped without my permission and sometimes closed. My neck sank in. My hand coincided with the brush, creating a large stripe on the canvas that hid the hours of work I had put into the face.

that was the part of the self-portrait I had the most trouble with.

When I saw my disaster, I groaned and stepped back as not to lash out and destroy the painting.

I looked at it from that distance. I realised that the proportions were off, that I lost the intensity of the pose. that the colours weren't strong enough in important areas, but too bright in others.

"Forty-five minutes," I jumped up from the floor and looked back at the familiar voice.

She chuckled and pointed to the picture, "The proportions are off," and I rolled my eyes at her remark.

"no shit sherlock" I slumped my shoulders and moved my head back and forth as the pain in my back got worse.

From behind me, I felt her arms sneak up to my shoulders and rub them with her calloused hands. "You know, I feel like you're thinking about this too much." I felt her hot breath tickle my ear, so close to my neck, so close to my face.

There wasn't much I could do. I let myself fall into her embrace, both of her arms now towering over me, holding me close, intertwining at my waist.

My body relaxed, but my heart beat so fast that I could feel it in my mouth

"Why don't you want me to make you feel good?

"I don't trust you, Williams." I rolled my eyes and turned on my heel to look at her.

The hairs on my arms bristled, don't let her win, my mind screamed as I tried to keep my gaze on hers.

She closed the space between our bodies, and I realized I wasn't moving.

thereupon she tilted her head a little to the side without taking her eyes off me, her grin widened, oh she knows, she knows she can't win, not his time...

I felt her towering over me, her body was so close to me I could smell her shampoo. I felt the warmth her body radiated, I could hear her breathing. My shoulders slumped forward and I shifted my line of sight.

She was laughing so hard at my pathetic attempt, I am tired, her presence irritated me. "What do you want anyway, Williams?" "I just want to help my lovely roommate," the playful grin on her handsome face grew even wider, "I don't need your help..." Ellie moved closer to me and put a hand behind her ear in a cartoonish way, "Speak up babe, you know I hate it when you whisper."

"I am too busy for your shit, plus, don't you have your exam tomorrow? You should study." my voice sounded a bit rougher than I expected, the hand that was behind her ear, was now in her heart. she opened her mouth, opened her plump lips, and closed her eyes while faking a gasp. "don't know, if you care about me or if you hate me" she turned around after seeing my uninterested reaction "Okay, well. fine... I have something to ask you, or rather propose to you." she picked up her backpack and opened it, holding out a scribbled note to me, her handwriting read.

"Van rent= on Joel

Feeding and extras= on us

Gas= on Joel"

"Okay, do not look at me like that, Y/N!". I handed her back the note, the simplicity of which, actually gave me more questions than answers.

"What's this?"

"t's a road trip, a van trip, an almost-everything-paid-for plan!" her face was beaming, her hands moving from side to side as if it was not obvious enough

"I mean yeah, but why are you showing me this?" didn't she wanted to get as far away from me as possible? As far as I knew, she did not like me.

"Doll, you fried all your little brain cells, trying so to figure out how to get your picture?" she rolled her eyes "look, the plan was Dina" I looked at Ellie with raised eyebrows "our Dina?" "Our Dina" she confirmed, calming down a bit as she was still having a hard time sharing our friend with me. "Her boyfriend Jesse and I." she paused, her features tightening. "but Dina did not want to let you down for spring break, so you are invited." she sat down on the mattress, opened her legs to be more comfortable, propped her forearms on the bed and looked at me.

"So, all I have to pay for is ..."

"Food and extras," she interrupted me, running a hand over her face, "I read it, but what are extras?"

"I do not know, Y/N, souvenirs maybe? Whatever else you want to buy?"

"Where do you wanna go?" "I do not know, Y/N. We are going to the beach, LA maybe, and then to Chicago, Broadway, all that good shit"

"Who's driving?"

"Jesse and me."

"Does your dad know I am going too? Did he agree?" Ellie rolled her eyes.

"He's not my dad. but yeah, he knows. Dina asked him if you could come. he still thinks you are the "cute girl who helped me bring my stuff to the dorm." he likes you more than I do."

"Well, I like him more than you."

"Shut up." she tensed and looked down, shying on me. I considered teasing her a little for that, however I choose to ask a different question.

"For how long? "

"The whole spring break. We'll be back a few days before school start." she said now, bored of looking at me, looking at her hands up close.

"look, sleep on it okay? You look like a living corpse" her remark came after I didn’t answer the last part.  "you wake up tomorrow morning, ditch the first few lectures, finish the painting and you tell me what I wanna hear" she was now standing, rocking side to side.

"and what do you want to hear?" I stepped closer, squinting my eyes, my head moved to the side in anticipation.

"I wanna hear you say yes Doll."

[givethemsmut]

The Pack | Chapter Five

Characters: Dylan O’Brien, fem!reader

Pairing: Dylan O’Brien, Dylan x You

With our first date and sex twice under our belt I unlocked my front door knowing my Dad wasn’t home. I had every bad intention as Dylan’s hand laced with mine.

Our house was big but modest, clean, tidy, you could say unlived in. Skipping the tour and immediately showed him my bedroom, leaving him at the threshold of my door. Putting my bag and my jacket down I slipped out of my converse.

Out hungry eyes locked and I could feel every way we wanted round three tickle my body.

Walking into me until my ass hit the edge of my bed, Dylan was leaning over me with his head dipped low enough for our mouths to collide. Our kisses got more intense before he pulled away, whispering, “condom?”

And I shook my head no unable to string letters together with Dylan’s hands roaming my body. Our tongues touched again, “Hey, hey, I need a condom baby. I haven’t relieved myself in awhile…”

I forced myself to whisper back, “My dad’s bathroom maybe.”

He spring up excited, “Where am I going?” I pointed to across the hallways and he left quickly. I took the time to undress myself, both my pants and shirt. I left my undergarments to keep myself covered even tho there wasn’t much material on either. Dylan brought the whole hand full back and I laughed, “We might need them all.”

A boy in my room, the door closed and these undeniable feelings reminded me of Brody while he raided my Dad’s bathroom for condoms. Wrong house but right memories.

At my dad’s it was less artistic and rustic, it was more clean and modern. My sophomore year started off here so there was still plenty of memories exactly ones like this.

P A S T

I rebelled after my mom pasted away. All the ways my friends teased me for being a prude, sober, controlled faded away. Brody was two years ahead of me and was in college when I was finishing high school. My dad had to go out of town to shoot on location in Vegas so Brody invited me to his fraternities annual Date Dash on campus.

Accepting, I gave him a hard time for whatever lame ass thing he did. The frat was judging every move he made as a new pledge, I could feel their eyes on me. Lately, it had been because my mom died and no one knew what to say to me. Instead they would stare.

The house didn’t smell and wasn’t dirty like movies portrayed. Brody showed me around and introduced me to all his brothers before he handed me a cup of vodka and soda.

Two cups later I pulled Brody into the bathroom with me as I sat on the sink pulling him between my legs. He could tell I was drunk as he stayed very stoic. I whispered into his neck, “Fuck me already.”

He drank the rest of His contains in the red solo cup than created distance between us before he said, “You’re drunk, babe. Just try to relax and have fun.” In retrospect I understand he was giving me time to heal but I was reckless then.

Angry, I pushed him away further away as I socialized at the party. One of the brothers, must have been respected and took a liking to me when the eyes finally peeled away like he won the prize.

His hand on my ass he led me to a library where a few scattered brothers were hanging out. Almost hiding. There was a pool table and mini bar in the corner of the room. I swayed to the music as he leaned against the table. kissing my neck just once his husky voice gave me goosebumps, “Take off your top.”

I felt beyond drunk and I wanted to hurt myself to match the pain of losing my mom so I listened. I peeled my tank top off and exposed my white see through bra as I danced against him lap. His hands touched my waist, my legs covered in my black tights and his lips grazed my neck. He asked me, “I saw you with Brody earlier. Do you go here?”

Turning to face him I tossed out a simple response, “Nope.”

His brothers were watching me sway my hips between his legs hoping he’d share. He started to ask another question but all I felt was Brody’s arm pulling me away from the fun. Down the hallway he stopped pushing me roughly against the wall, clearly angry, “What the fuck are you doing?!”

He quickly took off his letterman jacket and forced my body to hide inside.

I bit my lips, “Jealous?”

His hand was on the wall behind me and he leaned in, “Don’t. You’re being reckless. I get why but slow down before you regret shit.”

I shouted back to him, “Regret What? I don’t do anything Brody! I was the perfect kid because she was sick and didn’t need the stress! You’ve wanted to fuck me since high school and when I finally open up my legs you reject me.”

Brody got close to my face, “You wanna have fun? Open your mouth.”

I opened my mouth for Brody to pull out a breath mint and place it on my tongue. He whispered into my ear, “Happy? You’re gonna be high in 10 minuets. Let’s get out of here before you start rapping my brothers.”

He drove back to my dads and we ended up in my room. I laid down watching Brody carefully get undressed and putting his clothes on the chair at my desk. I let his letterman jacket slide off my arms and I started to roll down my tights from under my skirt.

“What are you doing?”

I giggled, high at this point, “Is that a fetish of yours? Tights?”

He kneeled over my body pushing me back while kissing me before he pulled away just enough to say, “You’re so high right now. I can’t take your virginity like that.”

Kissing his neck, dragging my lips as I spoke, “Can’t you make an exception? Pretty please…”

Brody took off his shirt between our bodies, “Where’s that box? Under the bed?” I shook my head yes to the box of condoms, a vibrator and other toys I had hidden away.

He reached for the box as I unzipped my leather skirt and laid back down in my see through bra and panties. He kissed me again, our lips colliding and our hands touching what we could reach. I undid his pants and his big hand gripped mine, stopping me.

I saw the vibrator in his hand turn on to a low hum as he said, “Open these legs baby.”

I opened them as the distance between us left a gap for him to push the toy against my panties. I moaned against his chest whispering, “I don’t want a toy. I want you Brody. Please.”

I was begging as the small gasps left my mouth. He put down the toy to pull my panties down between us. I saw his hands adjust himself through his pants before he kissed my lips again.

He was hurting, controlling himself and his fragile ego that refused to be rejected again.

Feeling the toy push inside me – cold and hard. His body between my legs pushed back to see the toy fuck me as my hips moved to meet the pushes. I begged some more until he took his pants off and got between my legs.

Warm tongues tangling and hungry. I whispered against his lips, “I’m wet enough baby. Please.”

His hips continued to push against mine, humping with his underwear on, “Relax baby. There’s time.

Pushing him down straddling his bulge and ride his lap, “I wanna ride it Brody. Just like this.”

His hands grabbed my hips and kept my hips riding him, “Just like that baby.”

I stopped, burying my hand in his boxer briefs and fishing every hard inch out without him stopping me. I let it lay against my stomach, that’s how hard he was and I kept riding him except this time my wet pussy would glide against me.

I continued to moan as my hips rode him and I stopped again pushing his penis down so I could sit on him. He felt my clit on his tip pushed me down getting between my legs, “Do you know how hard it is to reject you right now? You’re high, drunk and you know… hurting. Not now. Okay?”

I couldn’t believe the guy who has pushed for sex since I was a freshman, the guy who filmed us fooling around and sent it out to our whole school to see he was getting some, didn’t want to have sex with me.

How mortifying to keep suffering loses.

I looked at him, no longer taking no as an answer, “You owe me, Mister I went off to college while I got slut shamed for that video you put out. It only stopped because my mom died.”

His head dropped and his forehead was against my skin as he mumbled, “I told you I took care of that. That was so long ago.”

I kissed his chest slowly, almost begging him, “Besides you can’t be the only guy in the frat not getting any.”

P R E S E N T

Dylan crawled onto the bed getting comfortable between my legs kissing me again. Enough to make my head-spin. When I felt his hand touch my panties and I jumped a little, “Hey, it’s okay. It’s just me.”

He took my hand and placed my own hand on his hand on, allowing me to explore himself. “You haven’t explored. The last two times was just straight sex. I want you to see what I’m gonna put between your legs.”

I unzipped the zipper on his pants and undid the belt, gently and slowly, pulling his underwear down letting his cock fall out. I looked up and he was biting his lip as he watched.

Stroking it a few times watching his face turn from pleasure to ecstasy as I lowered my lips to the tip of him. Pushing my lips down I felt his thickness bully my mouth into opening wider.

He was trying not to moan too much when I glanced up at his tortured features forcing him to bite his own lip.

“God I love your mouth but I don’t wanna cum yet,” his husky voice was out of breath when I felt his hands urge me to stand up. Dragging my panties down off my legs, his lips kissed my thighs, worshipping every inch of me.

“I found your spot. Right here.”

His lips kissed closer to my pussy, right inside my thigh when I felt the butterflies turn into paperweights inside of me.

“What are you doing?” I knew but I was sure I was comfortable with it.

Standing up he leaned over me, kissing my chest. “I was gonna lick your clit but if you aren’t comfortable I won’t.”

Every dirty word only made the mess between my legs worse. “I’m too wet…” I had no excuse that made sense when those words slipped from my mouth.

“Too wet?” He smirked in a devilish way, “I love how wet you get for me.”

Laying back, Dylan’s tongue slipped against my slip sending my head back and my back to curve. Suckling my clit, I couldn’t help but moan and my hips lost control even with his hands pinning me down.

Dylan pulled away just enough to pull his shirt off and push his pants the rest of the way down. Scooping my bra off I let him look me over. Our eyes met before we kissed again, something about him was innocent, pure like I could trust him.

He kept kissing me, crawling on the bed, as he settled between my legs. Pinning my knee to his hip he slipped the condom on himself. Hovering over me before I felt him push inside me, stretching and filling me so much I felt light headed.

He let out a deep relieving sound followed by a small fuck under his breath that I hung to. I was melting against him in every way. My eyes closed the whole time until he whispered, “Hey, you okay?”

Peeling my eyes open I whispered against his lips, “Is it always suppose to be like this?”

Dylan kept pushing, laughing and smirking, “Suppose to be… fuck… but we’re puzzles. Sometimes people don’t fit like us.”

I was shaking and I could feel it building inside me. “Dylan, I’m gonna cum omg.”

“Come for me, baby.”

I could feel him breathing heavily against me and my legs shaking as I came all over him. The second I felt his hand hold my hips down against his mattress he came inside me.

I could feel the warmth rush inside me, coating my walls and my lungs finally exhale. Dragging his lips against me as he showered me in his recovering breath.

The best moment was followed by a protective parent who never knocked because there was no reason to. My door creaked open while he looked down at his phone, “Hey, hon, you awake? I’m back.”

I was mortified beyond belief while my dad kept standing there staring at Dylan. “Dylan. Don’t you have work tomorrow? Are you prepared?”

Neither of us could move without being exposed. “Dad! Get out! Both naked!”

He slowly left with the door cracked like it would stop any funny business. Dylan died laughing, “Am I prepared?” He couldn’t help but crack up in-between words. “Your dad is funny.” He grabbed my hand, “Hey. You wanna come to set tomorrow? Keep me company between scenes?”

I smiled, smitten with him, “Sure, I’d love to. Stay the night? My bed is big enough. I’ll lock my door.”

He pulled on his boxer briefs and got comfortable stealing my remote for the tv. I laughed before sneaking down stairs to grab us snacks. My dad was in the kitchen, having take out, “Thanks for the warning kid.”

I bit down on my smile, embarrassed too, “I thought you had a meeting.”

He stood up, “Then it ended. He left already?”

I shook my head, “He’s gonna stay over. I’m gonna go with him tomorrow. He says it’s a big day.”

My dad looked through his bag handing me a copy of the episode script, “Sure are, it’s huge for him and the character. Emotional scenes. Don’t distract him. Give him the damn script. I know he isn’t ready.”

I was curious so I peaked before bringing the snacks back. He basically goes crazy in the show. I couldn’t imagine, he’s so funny and bright. I wasn’t even convinced he could be mean or crazy. I arrived back at my room with tons of snacks and handed him the script, “Did you read it?”

I shook my head getting comfy, “Seems intense. Nervous?”

He thumbed through the pages, “Nah. I got this. Just wanna be sure I hit my marks, I move around a lot and it annoys your Dad actually.”

I read the script dirtying down to a steamy scene, “Steamy. A sex scenes?”

He looked at it again, “That’s kissing. I told them no sex scenes. I refused.” After he had it in his hands he paced, reading to himself but making gestures like learning a dance.

It was almost ten PM so I put on Gilmore Girls, one of my favorite shows while he paced. Finally, fourth-five minuets later I offered to read with him. “Really? You would?”

I took the script from him, “Who am I reading? Lydia?”

[hoseokslefteyebrow]

Weak

Pairing : More of a platonic Miguel O' Hara X Reader

Genre : Angst

Summary : Miguel hates feeling weak, something that you understand more than anyone else.

Request/story idea by: @quimerathetraveler

Wordcount: 0.9 k

Miguel O'Hara Masterlist

( A/N: I’m trying different personalities to see whatever works with his character best, lemme know what ya’ll think. )

Miguel's eyes dart all over the area. 

He's injured, badly. A deep gash is crossed over his ribs, and not even the spray supplied by his suit for emergencies is doing him much good.

On top of that, he's exhausted, years of taking care of the multiverse having caught up to him.

" Boss, we got hi- Oh, no." The voice of one of the spider woman who he's come to help speaks as she notices his injury.

He's hunched over, holding his side whilst taking rough deep breaths. He feels vulnerable, hates having everyone' eyes on him.

" Boss, we should get you help!-" MJ calls, taking her mask off.

" No. I'm fine. Bring the anomaly to HQ, I'll get there myself."

MJ is visibly distraught by his words, but does what he says, not wanting to face whatever negative reaction he could bring up in his pain.

As she disappears, he doubles over, nearly forgetting that Jessica and you are at the scene as well.

Jessica sighs deeply before reacting.

" Miguel, maybe we should help. I doubt you'd be able to get back by yourself-"

He glares from the corner of his eye at her.

" I can do it, just g-"

" No you can't. "

Now his eyes shift to you.

Admittedly, he doesn't know you really well, even though your powers are the only ones that are similar to his. You have talons, venomous teeth and superhuman hearing and sight as well. He's barely ever spoken to you before though.

" I-"

" Don't argue with me. I'll jab you in your wound if you're going to be a baby about it. " You scoff, your eyes showing disinterest as you move to help him.

He glares at you, but it doesn't seem to deter you in the slightest.

He's not necessarily surprised to. You've been through a lot in your own universe, the horrors you had to face giving you a pass without doubt into the spider team. You're physically not one of the strongest, but you're fearless, making you one of the stronger ones of the team anyway. It would take a lot more than his glare to shake you.

He can't help but feel puzzled and surprised as you lift his arm over your shoulder. You sync both of your watches, and soon enough you're tearing a gateway with your claws back into universe 2099.

Everyone is surprised when the both of you step into HQ, Jessica having gone back on her own.

Miguel hates the feeling he gets when everyone shares worried glances, them never having seen their boss so vulnerable before.

You must've noticed.

" What? Did none of you ever seen someone injured?" You call out roughly.

Most of the spiders turn their heads. All except Hobie, who gives Miguel a blank look as he so often does before nodding at you.

Hobie and you get along well, the only difference being that Hobie creates a lot of trouble and has quite a big mouth, whilst you refrain in the back. The calm before the storm.

Eventually, you carry him to the infirmary, and help him sit down on one of the beds.

" Will you be okay or do you need me to call a medic?" You ask, creating distance between the two of you again as you step back, leaning against a wall.

" I'll be fine." He says gruffly.

You nod, but don't move away.

He glances at you again, ignoring the sudden spinning in his head.

" What? You can go." He pushes.

" I'm waiting for you to pass out. I'll call a medic after." You tell him nonchalantly, crossing your arms over one another.

He sighs, knowing you're right. He needs help. He can't do it by himself this time. 

He doesn't want any more people to see him like this though.

" Can you.... help me?" He asks, looking away with an embarrassing pink dust on his cheeks.

Your eyes widen, surprise evident before they harden again, and you nod.

" I've never done this on someone else other than myself though."

You don't say anything else as you wordlessly get to work.

He tends to forget that you've been alone for a very long time before you joined the team.

You stitch up his wounds carefully, and honestly quite messy. He still rather has this than having more people see him like this.

When you're done, you run a careful finger over the stitches to make sure they're secure before stepping away.

" This is the best I can do. Good luck with it." You tell him, going back to your stoic demeanor.

You turn to leave, not expecting a reply, when he grasps your wrist with his right hand.

You tense in response, not being used to physical contact. Upon noticing it, he lets go.

" Thank you.."

You glance at him, your eyes not betraying your emotions this time as you nod.

" Yeah... Don't get used to it."

[spiteful-crow]

Jon, the concept behind the term „anima“, and Carl Jung

This is going to be a small info dump about the term „anima“. Everyone who has finished Sherlock Holmes Chapter One knows that Sherlock calls Jon his anima before they enter the garden.

It‘s an important moment if you (like myself) are struggling to understand what Jon is. Imaginary friend doesn’t quite fit, imo, as Jon is shown to be too independent to be one. Why would Sherlock desperately call for him and ask him to „intervene“, if he could simply imagine Jon at any time? It’s implied that Jon has a will on his own and that his departure is a decision Sherlock cannot simply revoke.

This is where the term „anima“ comes in handy. In the art book, Jon is described at a personification of Sherlock’s survival instincts, his will to live, and his desire to be happy. And this already kinda describes what an anima is.

The anima, in historical philosophy, is the irrational part of the soul, as opposed to the rational mind.

Here are some other definitions which can be found online:

an individual's true inner self that in the analytical psychology of Carl Gustav Jung reflects archetypal ideals of conduct

an inner feminine part of the male personality (I will ignore this definition for now and focus on the less gendered one)

There is also a graphic, which is supposed to describe what an anima (Jon) and a persona (Sherlock) are:

I also found this more detailed explanation, which makes the term easier to grasp:

Picture the surface of the ocean. Above the water is everything you are aware of. Beneath the water is everything you are unaware of. All of it is "you". That water is the line between conscious and unconscious. On the surface of the water is a ship, a big iron-clad battleship for most people. The ship is there to protect the ocean from all the big horrible things outside of it. That's your persona. The persona is like a Navy with a mission to protect the whole ocean. At least, it thinks that is what it is supposed to do. It is led and driven by Captain Ego. It so happens that there's also a submarine underneath the ship. It has the same job as the ship on the surface, except it protects against all the horrible things in the depths of the ocean. This submarine is what Jung called the "anima" […] . The pilot of this submarine, usually opposed in almost every way to Captain Ego is The Shadow. Most of us walk around all day at the mercy of that ego and its persona, except of course when the Shadow rears its face and does something out of the blue that we did not expect.

This figurative ocean already explains Jon‘s nature fairly well - unlike Sherlock (the persona) who faces the outer world, Jon (the anima) protects Sherlock (the person) from what’s beneath the surface. Jon is the irrational part, which wants to forget the traumatic memories, which wants to have fun and enjoy life and which doesn’t prioritise the truth as much as it prioritises happiness and wellbeing.

According to Jung, every person has a persona and an anima. In Sherlock‘s case, his circumstances lead to these two parts of himself being separated from one another so much that they form two whole people. I think it shows very well how much Sherlock wants to distance himself from everything irrational by creating a whole separate person to outsource his irrational parts into.

In this context, the ending and Jon’s departure can be seen as Sherlock picking the truth over his own wellbeing and ultimately severing his ties to the irrational part of himself, which wants happiness. It explains why Sherlock accuses Jon of lying - because coping is not „truthful“ from a rational standpoint. It also explains why Jon seems so unhappy in each ending - because from his point of view, Sherlock has made the wrong decision - Sherlock doesn’t allow himself the „weakness“ of being human and therefore being unable to handle the painful truth. And this explains pretty well why Sherlock’s psyche is so fragile in The Awakened and why he desperately begs for Jon to return. Sherlock cannot handle the horrors he faces without the little, irrational part of himself, which shields him from trauma and does the coping for him. However, submarine under the ocean can no longer be located by him, because he has chosen to no longer listen to it and let it protect his psyche, and the horrors attack him from below the figurative surface (which is funny considering Cthulhu lives under the literal surface lol).

A person cannot be happy if they only value rationality and neglect their emotional needs entirely. Happiness is a feeling, too, after all. And this is the person Sherlock becomes post Chapter One. His pursuit of the truth pushes him to the brink of death multiple times, because without Jon, Sherlock will not pick his own wellbeing over his ideals. No matter what horrors he faces, he doesn’t know when to stop, so he doesn’t stop until he sees the case to the end. He is no longer in touch with the irrational part of himself, which wants to survive.

This lack of survival instinct can be seen in the books, too, imo. Book!Holmes shows no fear of death when facing Moriarty, which in itself is already questionable.

Is it healthy to be excited about dying for the greater cause? I am no psychologist, but that’s definitely nothing I would describe as healthy. There is also the part where book!Holmes describes himself as a brain. Oh well.

I am rambling a lot so I will put an end to this, but I want to conclude that Jon is definitely buried somewhere deep, and he is a very essential part of Sherlock, but Sherlock will definitely need to find a way to reconnect with this part if he wants to be happy. And he better start listening to Jon again, too!

I like to think that he does, at the end. I like to think that ultimately, he will choose himself over everything else and find happiness and peace, because he deserves nothing less.

[yumenoberu]

Blue Flame

Hikaru Hitachiin x fem!reader

summary: While a blue flame burns with more intensity, an orange flame will always glow brighter. Hikaru is forced to confront his emotions when he finds out the girl he loves chooses his brother.

word count: 539 words

warnings: light angst

published: 12/11/24

author’s note: For those who dunno, for context Hikaru’s host color is blue and Kaoru’s is orange, so hopefully the motif makes more sense with this in mind uhuhuhu. This ones very short and not so sweet bcs I def didn’t make this while procrastinating😁😁 pls pray for my grades- 💀

If I had it my way, you’d be mine,

Hikaru bolts down the open corridor through the highschool building, loafers clamoring violently against the polished pavement, dashing so rapidly it was nearly enough to create sparks.

And I, yours.

“Hikaru wait!” A voice roared from behind him,

Why do you call me?

Decelerating, he huffs and groans. Colliding into the wall to catch his breath and gather his consciousness. He hadn't noticed he ran—if he was in an even worse headspace he would’ve even leaped off the window from their classroom to get away,

Y/n wheezes to get her heart’s rhythm back in tune, noticeably disheveled from the wind even from the distance. “Geez! I know you’re fighting with Kaoru but, please—don’t just run off like that! We want to make our feelings clear once and for all,”

As if my pain isn’t already enough to bear,

“Our relationship isn’t something we want to hide from you! If you’re not willing to hear me out, then at least hear what Kaoru has to say!” She blazed at him with an unquenchable resolve even despite her exhaustion, igniting the strength she had left to reach him from across the courtyard,

Kaoru…

“Oioi!! You’re not escaping!!” She blazed between breaths, now standing before him, arms locked on either side of his forearms, keeping him in place.

“Give it up… I’m too tired to run anyway,” Hikaru huffs, defeated, shoving her hands off of him. Sighing as he leans then shrinks against the wall, crouching below her with his head downcast and hands perched on the crown of his head.

You think I don’t already hate myself enough—that I don’t know I’m being selfish for still wishing it was me?

“I feel I have to apologize to you, we truly never meant to keep it a secret, I swear it.” Behind his bangs he watched as Y/n similarly sighs and crouches down next to him by the wall,

“About Kaoru and me—“ She turned to him, eyes sincere, alight like embers.

Kaoru…Is it so wrong for me to think ‘it’s unfair’?

Despite his best efforts, Hikaru reaches towards her—

It’s all your fault.

And in the most unexpected of circumstances, he cradles the sides of her face, leaning onto her forehead with the most longing—most desperate of gazes.

I’ve always wanted to hold you,

“… What’s wrong?” Completely in defiance to her initial shock and explosion, she concedes, her reply feather-light. Speaking with such tenderness—such sincerity, it’s as if the last thing she would do was implode at him like she did moments before.

“That’s not…” Oh how he crumbled, ruptured inside at the sight—at the prospect that those eyes, those heavenly flames that undulated with such fervor, that he wasn’t ever the fan that stirred that flame.

Stop that.

“You’re unfair.” Hikaru chokes out sour with dread distinct in his voice and in his pining, pleading expression.

“What are you saying?” Y/n grazes the hands holding her face, eyes now mirroring the same pain and agitation in his own—yet hers still pervaded with an unmatched, suffocating warmth.

It burns.

I want to hate you,

But I can’t hate you.

How can I hate you when,

“I love you—“

So, so much.

masterlist

[chvoswxtch]

New to the bar, could I get a margarita on the rocks? I have been replaying Cruel Summer an unhealthy amount while thinking of our lovely friend Matty. “He looks up grinning like a devil” is the line I have in mind. Would you be so kind to serve me something good? 🍹

i'm so glad you requested this bc i've been thinking about it since we talked about it and I had to stop myself from writing a 75 page dissertation on this.

that being said, I made this one extra strong, and I hope you enjoy. ;)

as a reminder: margarita on the rocks means it's spicy (minors dni)!

blurb below the cut

cruel summer

he looks up grinning like a devil

How long had Matt had his head between your thighs now? An hour? Two? You had completely lost count after the third orgasm he’d brought you to with his skilled tongue. You didn’t even know what number of those you were on.

The comforter and sheets to his bed had been shoved onto the ground by your uncontrollable movements ages ago, and even though you had started out dangling off the edge of the mattress, the top of your head was now pressed directly against the headboard. You weren’t sure if it was from Matt pushing you up further and further to try and devour you completely, or from helplessly trying to pull away from the delectable torture he was inflicting on your cunt.

Your body tingled with electric jolts, and everytime you attempted to move, it felt like you were getting a violent shock from sticking your finger in an outlet. Matt had you dangerously teetering on that tightrope between pleasure and pain, but you never wanted to come down. Tears from overstimulation leaked out of the corners of your eyes, and it felt like your jaw was permanently unhinged, locked in an ‘o’ shape forevermore. 

Roughly tugging at Matt’s hair by the root, he only groaned in response directly into your pussy, which only slingshot you even further into your impending orgasm. You didn’t know if you could take another one. But you wanted it. He just made it hurt so fucking good. You couldn’t even move your hips since he had them locked down with one of his strong arms, and with his hand gripping tightly onto your right thigh, the only thing you could move was your left foot. Matt had his head shoved so far into your pussy, you weren’t sure how he was even breathing, and you struggled to push at his ribcage with your left foot to try and create some distance.

“M-Matty…I…oh fuck…c-can’t…can’t again…”

Matt dug his fingers bluntly into the flesh of your thighs, swiping his tongue over your swollen clit one more time before reluctantly pulling his face back just a few inches. Closing your eyes for a moment, you sucked in a gasp of air to refill your tired lungs. A soft whine slipped past your mouth at the absence of Matt’s warm tongue, and your stalled orgasm buzzed in your lower belly like a hive of angry bees. You had been begging relentlessly for a break, but now that he had granted you mercy, you didn’t want it anymore.

As you opened your heavy lidded eyes to gaze down at him, they suddenly widened at the sight before you, and you felt your pussy clenching around nothing.

Matt’s normal clear hazel eyes that you loved so much were completely clouded with lust to the point you couldn’t distinguish where his iris ended and his pupil began. They were blown completely wide open with a ravenous hunger that made you shiver, and as his swollen deep rouge lips split wide open into a devilish grin that bared the entire top row of his teeth, you noticed a string of either your wetness or his spit still connected his bottom lip to your soaked cunt.

“Sure you can. You can give me one more. Cause you’re my girl. My good girl.”

Matt dipped his voice an octave lower and slowly emphasized the ‘good girl’ portion that had a moan tumbling past your lips and a sinister chuckle reverberating in his chest. There was a strong confidence in his words, but it wasn’t directed at your ability to come for him again.

It was in his promise to make you come again.

[acknowledgetheabsurd]

You have closed all my paths, you have melted in you all my impulses and all my desires, you have erased for me the rest of the world that is not you; but the insatiable thirst still burns me and the race continues, more dizzy than ever. I want everything from you, and the more I am given, the more I demand with all my strength.

It is true that we still lack many things, but I wonder to what extent and if a few months or a few years ago I had been asked to make a wish which, if granted, would justify my life in my eyes, I would simply have wished to be one day closer to you than what I am today. You must not regret anything and you must not worry about me. I spoke to you in the letter that gave rise to the scruples that you are telling me today, about the children that I could have had. It is certain that sometimes I think of them, of our children, with a painful melancholy, but, believe me, I did not know enough about the happiness that they could bring me to really miss them and I desire them much less as my children than as yours, as ours.

The very impossibility of realizing this dream exalts and nourishes it, and if I had to give it up forever in order to live with you for a while, I would not hesitate. Yes, I wish that with all my soul, and no matter how hard I look, I can't find anything that can console me for our fate, that can reconcile me with the lack that our distance leaves in the happiness that was given to us. However, if I search well, if I really look, if I disguise myself from all these veils with which I want to wrap myself, then... I must confess that a common life which would neither bring nor take away anything, that once acquired, other deviations, other more serious gaps perhaps, would come to take the place it now occupies in my imagination, where it serves now a backdrop between far more irretrievable separations, ever impassable distances, and my inexhaustible need to abolish and bridge them.

So, you see, near or far, at this point, we can say that we have won, and whatever life has in store for us, it will have been very merciful. But if all these days spent preparing, thinking, creating those that will come and that would not be what they will be - if events had been different - had been offered to us in a way that we could have enjoyed them together and without torment, what would we have done with them? Are we sure that we would have taken them in such a way as not to lose a minute or even days or even months? Oh! I know! You're going to tell me that I'm doing the philosophy of a janitor or the psychology of a lamppost; but... it's necessary... it's necessary from time to time.

And, in any case, if you don't think like a lamppost and if you don't dream too much about mosses while reading this letter, you will perhaps feel that I am giving you one of the greatest proofs of love that can be demanded of me, by confessing certain things that I hardly dare to reveal to myself. Now you can let me speak when it happens that I escape again towards horizons of quiet happiness and peaceful life.

Go! I can still talk. And now you know that I know that you know what is deep, deep inside me. This does not prevent the spring from blooming what it touches, and my heart, my body, my soul from crying out after you, from suffering after you, from dying, from screaming, from laughing. And there is something that cannot resign itself to your absence, it is my poor little body that stretches out in vain towards you, that writhes, that whimpers and cries after you, my sad little body that stunts from day to day and that asks unceasingly to blossom, to warm up, to beat, to quiver.

Oh my beautiful, my dear love! Oh burning! O my sweet pain! O my life! Here I am filled with shivers, mysterious undulations, delicate and secret sounds. You wanted my letter to bring you a little warmth! It has awakened in me again all that dark and intimate zone that I love so much to feel just in my center, in my middle, that vibrating zone that moves me as much as the presence of a child in my belly, or even more, knowing it better. She has touched that tiny point in me, but which you know and love, and I tremble all over. Happy, oh yes, happy. Happy and overflowing with love, desire and tenderness. I am waiting for you every day. I run too; I run unceasingly towards you. The coast is coming to an end, my darling. Soon the sight of the sea, and then the beach and the waves.

Maria Casarès to Albert Camus, Correspondance, February 10, 1950 [#182]

[sobx9]

Is it just me? The way I had such reasonable expectations for season 4 and it took a completely different direction. The faith I had in the writers and frankly the cast as well is embarrassing to look back on lmao

The gag is they didn’t need to invent a whole new storyline for this season (Groff). The material was there - they were the ones who MADE IT! And forgot about all of it for trash, brand new content? I’m talking about Ward and big John dying. Show more of JB and Sarah bonding over that. Resolution with rose, wheezie and rafe even. I’m talking about Kiara’s parents. They sent her away. They don’t approve of JJ. No resolution there after so much of season 3 being around that, and it being a thread in the story since season 1 . Theyre suddenly fine by mid-end of season. Luke being back was enough of a conflict for jiara. Also the weight of JJ living in his old childhood home that holds so much pain for him, and making it their own. I’d be fine with keeping the town council storyline and trying to save their home. THAT is season 1 roots. What does it mean for Jiara to be a couple now? How do they navigate that, being friends to lovers? JJ has loved her for years/seasons. I needed more. It wasn’t even believable. Pope and Cleo needed to figure out how their relationship would pan out being back in the obx. How does Cleo feel about having stability now? What does pope want to do? I thought he was going to college? I could go on forever. These are the questions those writers needed to ask themselves and WRITE accordingly. I don’t know how they got off path so bad to the point where almost every expectation I had for season 4 did not happen. Did I miss something? Did I misunderstand the show? I have to believe the writers are the ones who misunderstand their own show and characters at this point. I’m embarrassed to even admit I never believed the JJ death rumors because logically I thought, he’s a main character, fan favorite even, they will not kill him, it’s not that kind of show. OPE lol I guess the pates think it is. Netflix needed to give them a reality check because no one was honest with these clowns.

Hi, you make some good points❤️. With some distance I can see how my expectations for season 4 were unrealistic since the writers never really cared about the emotional stuff. The signs were there from the previous seasons (a good example of this is not showing us the emotional toll on Jiara after they nearly drowned together in season 2). For me, I could have overlooked this if part 2 wasn’t so bad, especially compared to part 1. I could have get my missing scenes from fan fictions just like I did with season 3.

My overall view on this (and I already talked about this here so sorry if I am repeating myself) is that there is a huge discontent between what show they wanted to create and what show the fans actually wanted. We wanted more family feel show about the Pogues themselves, about relationships, family drama and character developments, but they wanted to film action packed show with cartoon villains, lots of stunts and crazy locations. And since a season is only 10 episodes, they can’t possibly fit it all in. So since it’s more fun for them to do the action stuff (which is arguably more fun to shoot), the fans are left feeling disappointed because it’s all go go go without anything really meaning anything. That’s why I am worried they won’t do the “ mourning a friend “ plot line justice.

They created such interesting characters and we fell in love with them and had faith in the writers that they will develop them accordingly. And they failed to do that. They would also add more and more characters while ignoring the OGs that people were actually interested in (Wheezie, Barry, Rose, Mike, Anna…).

Groff was completely unnecessary, but since they wanted to outdo the previous season with more shocking twists and turns, they had to up the ante somehow. Unfortunately, they overplayed their cards in my opinion. Also the fans hated how much screen time John B and Big John had just the two of them in season 3, and they were pretty vocal about it. So why make the same mistake in season 4 part 2 with JJ and Groff? The writers clearly don’t actually care what the fans did and didn’t like.

Even if JJ had to be written off due to an actor wanting to leave, or because that was the plan from beginning, the death scene was just so short and lazily done and at the end was completely meaningless. But that’s another issue I already talked about.

I didn’t really believe the rumours for the same reasons you wrote down, until the season 5 renewal was announced and I noticed Rudy did not post anything about it. From that point, I had a gut feeling it was actually happening. Guys let me know if you believed those rumours or not, or if your opinion changed and why. I would love to hear your point of views ❤️

[growup-thatbeautiful]

Pretty Girl | 5. hold my hand

1. pretty girl | 2. lover, you should’ve come over | 3. been on my mind | 4. last goodbye | 5. hold my hand

Warnings: again, mention of ed and ed discussion. if you want to skip those parts, go to the instagram story part :)

——————————————————————————

Instagram

liked by tasha.trace, delilah.seresin, hangman.jake, and 1,089,282 more

y/n.username so guys,

you may or may not have noticed the inactivity, the rumors, the distance, or the chaos that’s recently been surrounding me and my life. if you haven’t, good on you.

i have no intention on denying anything said about me. it’s not my responsibility to acknowledge the lies that people spread about me, and it’s certainly not my job to change my lifestyle because someone i no longer associate with decided that my time is past.

that being said, i also have no intention on denying comments made about my past with an eating disorder. without getting into specifics, i want people to know that i’m not ashamed or scared to discuss my body and the choices i’ve made about it. yes, i’ve had moments of struggle about how i look. yes, i’ve learned how to love myself and see value in the people who love me. i’m not alone in my struggle, and neither is anyone else.

Comments have been disabled

——————————————————————————

10 minutes.

That’s all the time it took with Jake on the phone to convince him to come and see you that day.

That’s all it took for him to pay double for shitty plane tickets, fight through fans and press, and show up at your door hours later with roses and open arms. You’d talked with him for 10 minutes and everything clicked together like it always used to.

Jake told you about his sister and her own struggles with her body; how, when he was 11, Delilah was 19 and raising him and his little sister Lillibet. How that didn’t leave much room for positive reinforcement in Delilah’s mind about how she looked. How she hid it from everyone else and didn’t get any help until it was almost too late.

You know now, looking back on that day, that Jake had been absolutely terrified of almost loosing someone else to mental health. You couldn’t have known, just like he couldn’t have known about you, and together that created a messy jigsaw of unexplained, very real emotions that didn’t fit together at the time.

Jake’s anger, understandable yet unwarranted, and your stubbornness made quite the wedge in between you. A wedge, however, that was nothing compared to the immediate reconciliation that took place on the phone call. He finally, finally told you why it meant so much to him, and you told him where he misstepped.

That had been enough to convince him to come see you in New York on a whim.

And he hasn’t left since. It’s been five weeks of reconnecting, getting to know each other more, and finding new ways to love him. It may sound trite, but he really does surprise you every single day. Whether it’s coffee from your favorite cafe on the way back from his run or a carefully planned date, he never disappoints.

You can’t say that it’s easy. There are going to be difficulties no matter who you’re with, but Jake makes them worth it.

He’s worth the pain and the drama and the rumors and the talking. He’s worth it all.

——————————————————————————

Instagram

y/n.username added to their story

 ——————————————————————————

Messages

get bagman in the bag, man

tash: barf

callie: gross

you: because i’m so adorable?

callie: you are

callie: hangman isn’t

you: disagree

you: respectfully <3

tash: i know babe

tash: what are you doing today?

you: shopping to celebrate

callie: celebrate what?

you: i got a job

you: in paris

tash: NO FUCKONG WAY

tash: THATS INCREDIBLE

callie: BABEEE

callie: IM SO PROUD OF TOU

you: THANK YOUUU

you: ILY

callie: can we come visit you

tash: i’m coming with you

you: yes please

——————————————————————————

Instagram

y/n.username added to their story

——————————————————————————

Messagss

you: oh shit

jakey: what

you: everyone’s going to think i’m shopping for a wedding dress

jakey: are you?

you: you haven’t asked me anything

jakey: hmm

jakey: i’ll have to fix that soon

you: …

jakey: ��️

you: so should i be wedding dress shopping

jakey: only if you want to, darlin’

you: i’m going to scream into a pillow

jakey: wait till i really ask you

jakey: you’re not going to know what to do with yourself

you: that’s what tasha is for

jakey: i was hoping you would say you would scream into my pillow

you: baby.

you: now i have to cut that out of the screenshot i’m sending to tash and callie

jakey: paybacks a bitch

you: no he isn’t.

jakey: you know what i mean

——————————————————————————

Instagram

liked by tasha.trace, roo_bradshaw, halo_cal_bass, and 2,382,299 more

y/n.username we say hi from paris 🥖

view 347,292 comments

tasha.trace I MISS YOUUU

-> y/n.username COME VISITTT

halo_cal_bass save some paris fun for me

y/nsrealgf she’s living her best life rn

penny.benny Awww! Have the best time ever!

jakeyywife okay but her and jake are so cute i can’t believe they’re back together

delilah.seresin my favs <33

r_paybackfinch why didn’t i get invited :(

-> y/n.username you’re always invited :((

roo_bradshaw unfair i wanna go to paris instead of hangman

-> tasha.trace then maybe ask your girlfriend to go

-> tasha.trace i’m sure she wouldn’t oppose

maverick.mitchell Amazing! Tell Jake to take you out to dinner!

-> y/n.username i will!

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Messages

you: mav says to take me out to dinner

jakey: lucky for you i already had that planned

jakey: there’s a dress for you on the bed

jakey: i’m downstairs whenever your ready

you: AWWWW

jakey: no rush

you: crying

jakey: don’t cry, darlin’

you: too late

jakey: …

jakey: i love you

you: i love you too

you: i don’t know why you thought that would make me stop crying though

jakey: ♥️

you: <3

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A/n: guys!! it’s finished. this series has meant so much to me and i thank you so much for all of your support. let me know what you think about this last part, and send me any thoughts, requests, anything you want <33 nova out ⭐️

taglist: @rosiahills22 @fangirlvibez @djs8891 1 @shanimallina87 @abaker74 @lauraseresin

[dapurinthos]

master caudle: now it's important that you read through all six double-sided pages of this patient information sheet before you give your small child these prescribed stimulants. sifo-dyas: got it. sifo-dyas: wow this is a lot of bullshit. caudle: yeah they think they need to be virtuous about the fact that they're making speed for kids that they're making huge profits from, instead of providing a needed substance for people with differently-wired brains. sifo-dyas: i think it would be really hilarious if i made ari listen to me recite all six double-sided pages. narrator: things did not go as he expected.

Master Si arranges it so that when he presents the acid green pill bottle to me, it's directly under the sofa-side lamp, illuminated like a holy object in a shrine. “Your legally-acquired, medical-grade stimulants.”

I grab at it, but he moves it back out of my reach, and holds up his other hand, blocking me.

“I have instructions,” he warns. That's as far as he gets.

I leap up and across the sofa in a move that would make an Ataru master sit up and demand where that sort of energy was when I was in their class. In the moment before I land on him, Master Si’s eyes go the widest I've ever seen them.

The idea that he may have just made a mistake is plainly visible on his face. He scrambles back, hits the arm of the sofa, then fumbles his way off of it and out of my way. He Force-pushes at the air and it forces me into a gentler stop than I had planned.

“Rules!”

I eye the new distance between us. “Give.”

“I’m supposed to keep them.”

“Give!”

“Locked up, out of reach.” He backs up as unobtrusively as he can, shuffling more than stepping toward the door. “Doctor’s orders.”

I jump to tackle him again. This time, I feel the fabric of his robes slip through my fingers on the way down and manage to somersault off some of the momentum before I can brain myself on the floor, and only end up with a bit of shoulder pain from the impact. I scramble up and follow him out the door, into the hallway, bemoaning my fate like a Tsis tomb zombie looking for Force-sensitives to snack on.

“My focus!”

“I’m not sure you should have these if you're acting like this at the sight of them.”

“Master!”

“They're a controlled substance.”

“Master!”

“I’m very concerned.”

I give up bleating a third repetition at him and shift my choice of battlefield, reaching out in the Force like I’m patting the floor around me to pick up a pair of glasses. The carpet is wool. His slippers are wool. They may not be from the same place but they’re still the same material. The slippers will be easier. They're felted. That’s just fluff pounded together until it forms a sheet of material.

I let him feel virtuous and victorious as he goes through the instructions the healers gave him. Like all drugs for children, there's a long list. Most of it's for his edification, not mine.

“Got it?” Sifo-Dyas finishes.

I blink at him, removing my focus from felt. It’s like coming out of a cloud. The soles of his slippers are now connected to the carpet, the wool very agreeable to the whole process of de-felting, unwinding, and then joining together so I could squish them together with the Force. Some people sculpt things. I modify fibres. Double-sided fabric wishes it were this interconnected.

“Got it?” He has the nerve to bring my pill bottle back out and give it a rattle.

“Got it,” I say.

Sifo-Dyas narrows his eyes. He shifts his weight in this Mandalorian stand-off we’ve created between us. I narrow my eyes right back and, deliberately slowly, raise one foot.

He flinches back as I lunge again.

His slippers do not follow.

He makes a sort of ‘glurk!’ sound and trips over his own feet.

I move with grace and decorum, practically gliding down the hall to fetch the bottle of my rightful stimulants. Sifo-Dyas swipes at me without much conviction and uses the momentum to roll onto his back.

“No convincing textiles that they’re hook and loop tape,” he says to the ceiling.

“All it to the list,” I inform him, settling down on the floor to examine my prize.

“Okay, now undo it.”

“I haven't gotten that far yet.”

“Padawan,” he groans.

I imitate his tone. “Master!”