#but it’s like we’re all sooooo different and diverse from different parts of the world with different cultures different EVERYTHING

[evansbby]

Do you think being a poc yourself influences your writing in any way or do you prefer to just keep everything neutral?

Idk if it influences my writing… CONSCIOUSLY it doesn’t but maybe subconsciously it does but idk how?? Honestly idk!

And I TRY to keep things as neutral as possible but I do make mistakes sometimes but I try not to.

[lunasaturnine]

Vienna and cultural trauma

WOW so cool to sign into tumblr and see 99+ notifications, and think “oh a post got some attention,” but it’s actually just general attention!

My astro blog is ready for some action! Or maybe ppl are just bored bc of the quarantine. Either way, it would be cool to write.

I want to write about VIENNA.

I just took a course about somatic healing of trauma and it gave me a good overview of how trauma recovery works. Chapter 1 of trauma recovery is gathering resources. Chapter 2 is dipping or oscillating back into the memory, whether it’s a clear memory or just something held hidden in your body, with your new resources, and allowing circles to complete. Chapter 3 is being bigger bigger brighter in the world !!! (It’s a nice course, it’s on somatopia.com, it costs $40 if you have that to throw around, it’s like 2 hours of videos of a nice man talking in a soothing voice in intelligent language about healing from trauma)

Now I’m thinking about cultural trauma and Vienna. I have long felt that helping to heal the Hitler wound of Vienna is one of my soul’s major dharmic thrusts. So I googled “healing cultural trauma” and most resources out there talk about the trauma of the victim culture. That kind of trauma is totally different, because it recommends amplifying the traditions and greatnesses of the culture, and when you’re a cultural perpetrator of violence, amplifying the greatness of your culture is a trigger because cultural superiority is what lead your culture to be violent. But there are still a lot of resources with a lot of valuable information. I’ve only skimmed a couple things so far and it seems like one thing people emphasize in cultural healing is human connectedness.

The internet is a little hard to navigate on this topic, but I found an NYT editorial called “I loved my grandmother but she was a Nazi.” The author’s sweet grandma was literally a Nazi but she was a nice person who didn’t hate Jews. When the author talked to her about it, she would deflect. “He said a lot of things, I didn’t listen to them all” and “I was caught up in my own life” etc. The author says, that’s bullshit, there’s something she’s avoiding, and I can’t understand what it is or why she’s doing it, and I’m hesitant to say this because it might seem like I’m trying to forgive Naziism but I’m really just trying to understand who I look at when I look at my grandmother. It’s the most direct address of the West’s Nazi wound that I’ve found in my two and a half minutes of searching on google and I think it’s on the nose.

In the readmore are my more concrete thoughts on potential resources for Western/German/Viennese healing, and thoughts about what working through phase 2 would look like for a perpetrator culture.

Resources

On this reddit post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/history/comments/5nfqwp/my_grandmother_grew_up_in_nazi_germany/

there are some resources. First of all, 1. there are people from diverse backgrounds respective to WWII, coming together and talking as equals in the same kind of “room.” The descendants of the persecuted and the persecutors are together and they are not enemies. The knowledge, and SOMATIC FEELING EXPERIENCE, of that, can be  a resource. I am typing over this brusquely and that’s Mercury magic for you and you should know that I just burst into sobs. That in just a couple of generations, the grandsons and daughters of enemies can be together and not hate each other and even love each other is an immense resource and can be leaned into at any point. There is a vast well of cultural relief available here. My tears are thankful, grateful tears, tears of relief. I am thinking of the parks in vienna that are holocaust memorial parks. I am thinking of that horrible statue out in front of the Albertina that is a memorial to cultural violence but at the same time, also represents the trapped soul of the Perpetrator culture, since we are all One. In the same way that a piece of music which opens with a terrifying chord represents both the terror experienced by the terrorized, and the menace of the terrorizer, AND THE FEELINGS IN THE terrorizer that caused them to generate this chord... off on a tangent, and I’m not sobbing anymore! That was crazy. I have a tendency to lock my feelings up, but being alone in this house and in this quarantine, I can open up locked wells of feeling like that.

That resource is IMMENSE, and it’s RIGHT in front of our faces all the time. I took a class on 20th century germany in undergrad, and the professor was a young guy with a Nazi grandfather, well I’m not sure if he was a Nazi but he was a German soldier, and he remarked on it. And I think at the time I thought “how lovely” but if you sit with that feeling, it’s deep as hell. And if you sit with it from the perspective of a penitent perpetrator, it’s REALLY FUCKING DEEP.

So that’s available. Im gonna post this real quick as a way of saving the draft but I have more ideas.

Okay. Continuing,

Resource 2 also from reddit post

The top respondent says his German POW uncle had a British GF. That’s similar to the first resource, but more immediate. I’m sure there are lots of stories like that. Intercultural experience that nullifies certain tensions

Resource 3 also from reddit post

The stories of people who did do the right thing... maybe. I dont know. I’ll get off this post soon but it’s interesting. Idk if this counts as a resource, it’s kind of a tangent, but the more I learn about karma and trans-life inheritance of it, the more it seems true that it really is better to die living in line with your beliefs than to live safely. Like the person in Pweuy’s post. That father died but his karma was pristine as far as this was concerned and perpetrator trauma did not cling to him.

ok jesus this is an interesting post... the girl skipping over the river of blood as it trickled out of the asylum... the hitler youth boy befriending a lamb and the nazis slaughtering it in front of him... the russian soldier who guarded the german girl because she reminded him of her daughter...

Okay. Before I go on, I want to clarify that I am not specifically talking about people who held Nazi beliefs in their core. There is a special type of perpetrator injury that is specific to that kind of thing, true villains and terrorists. I’m talking more about “ordinary Germans” who didn’t think very hard and got swept along, moderate supporters to moderate resisters. As a culture, they were moved by the tides into Naziism. They have culpability, but not the exact same kind of culpability as perpetrator people. The culture moved to perpetrate these crimes, and they were a part of that culture. That’s the specific kind of wound I’m interested in healing. There is a poster on that page whose grandma really loved Hitler...

Ok! I spent a lot of my energy in that page, now its 10PM and I still have veggies to prepare. I need energy for this next thing I was going to talk about.

Resource 4 - this one specific coffee shop

I’m putting *s in its name because I like this blog anonymous. P*****n is a coffee shop in Vienna that is the only happy place I went. There were places that were ok... and fine... maybe pleasant... but this place was American levels of happy. Waiters danced around and were actually relaxed and happy. P*****n’s theme is intergenerational communication. It hires grandmothers to work behind the counter, and make pies, and you’re supposed to buy a slice of their pie and talk to them a bit. And then the waiters are young, and they communicate with the Omas. And the Omas are maybe not old enough to have been Nazis but their parents were.

They also include a bit in all their menus about intergenerational dialogue and wondering what more they can do and how they can be more of a space for it.

I had MANY genuinely pleasant little experiences there... and I think that little space that some person with a vision made, is a blossoming flowerpot with lots of healing energy where true dialogue could happen. So that could be a resource too. The happiness of that place. In fact, these conversations could happen there.

But I wouldn’t want to break the space. The course I just took talked about titration, which is just accessing a TINY part of the traumatic memory, so you don’t get overwhelmed. This is a very icy fucked up conversation for a lot of people. My Viennese friend told me to talk more quietly about it than I was. Actually I did talk about it there with some people! The German girl was surprised that I thought Vienna had a wound. So was the Irish girl actually. For other people it’s really evident. My Viennese friend. D**n. Rf: “it’s ALL I feel when I am there.” ME. God that conversation was sooo gentle and sweet and light. The Irish girl was wondering if she should move to Vienna or stay in Barcelona, and the three of us talked about Vienna nd it was SOOOOO LOVELY, holy BALLS.

But even if we don’t hold conversations there exactly, that could be a really good place for conversation to start. I could reach out to the people who run the shop to ask them about it. And then maybe conversations could happen in other places (don’t want to spoil the sweetness of the shop).

Resource 5 - personal as I investigate maybe not really a resource - but yes maybe it is a resource: Grounded, comfortable people who are Viennese, and who understand the goals and also understand the sensitivities of Viennese people more than I do; 

Resource 6 - people who are experts at cultural healing in victim cultures

Resource 7 - fostering dialogue between those two parties, also me.

Again I’m really playing fast and loose with the idea of resources. Maybe. We’re starting to move into phase 2, also, because with this dialogue, I want to open up some scripts for how to TITRATE sensitively.

phase 2

For instance, notice that I didn’t say something like “Remembering Vienna’s amazing heritage of incredible music that has the power to redeem and heal equal to and more accessibly than religions.” I think it’s true that Viennese music is a major healing resource (BEETHOVENSCHUBERTMOZARSKLTBSLJRTHBLEWSKJNS:OFDFD), but since it is bound up in Viennese identity, that notion is complex. Also, it’s not only that Viennese identity is nasty because it’s nazi and therefore that gives Schubert etc a dark tint, but also, the grand things that Vienna has contributed to western culture are now a part of Vienna’s current wound of degradation, cheapification, and humiliation by TOURISM. although I will say that I think Resource 8 should be MY OWN deep internalization of the healing power of Viennese music. Posting again to save...

...not only does that music help me be healed, but it also helps me understand healing process in the specific language of the culture i’m interested in

okay.  Phase 2. 

A picture of what I think sorta needs to happen

I think Omas that say “It was just a lot of talk, we ignored it” and “I was busy in my life”... I think what needs to happen for a perp culture is for them to actually own their part in the villainy, to claim it and stand in it and feel the pain, and say “I’m SORRY, this was HORRIBLE, I AM SORRY.” THIS WILL ALLOW THEM TO BECOME NEW!!!!!!!

That’s a v different healing process from like native american healing etc.

I really think somatic approach is a better road in than cognitive because, god, imagine cognizing all of this HORRIBLE SIN bit by bit knowing your culture perpetrated it and not having anyone to blame it on. Jesus.

How might the process of getting there look?

This is vague especially now that I don’t have that burst of energy. Conversations...

Here’s a question. After resource gathering.

“Knowing that bells rang for Hitler in Vienna, how does it feel to be Viennese?” IN YOUR BODY?

Damn THAT’S GOOD! THAT’S THE FUNDAMENTAL QUESTION. How does it feel to be Viennese? The goal is for it to feel OK.

Um, speaking specifically about Wiener trauma and their welcoming of Hitler, a few years ago, I read this in some guidebook, Vienna’s government acknowledged that they welcomed Hitler and that they were wrong, and investigating that is important for my mission. It’s cool because 1. it’s a Big Ol Step and 2. it lays groundwork for all of this.

Step 3 is really beautiful to think about. In the course I took, it’s where the instructor got out of his soothing calm neutral demeanor and started speaking passionately and bursting with smiles.

In addition to being able to be more firmly grounded in their own individual and cultural identities...

Okay, so, I’m drawn to this because I’m drawn to it, punkt. That’s all. But also, and I think I’m really late on the uptake here, I think I was due in Vienna many years ago, I think that whatever work I do in Vienna is helpful for the echoes of Naziism in today’s world, such as Trumpism (which does not...exactly... have the same kinds of premises but uses a lot of the same kinds of mecahnisms) and actual brazen nationalism, white supremicism, and far right movements. Hitler is a LOUD and REVERBERANT figure in our history for this kind of energy, and if we can do healing surrounding him, re-discovering resilience in the moderates, helping them go through the emotional journey they need to go through, they will be a beautiful resonant horn call from the past, a solid core of NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that will strengthen the culture of the entire FUCKING world.

Music will be a part of it.

I have always loved Vienna, and I can’t really analyze it. I love it like a girlfriend. I know she’s problematic. And she can be really really horrible.

The wound is deep. The horribleness, the life negating quality not only of the FUCKING WRETCHED SHOP CLERKS, but also of the WAY -- THINGS -- HAPPEN, of the overall weird ass SPIRIT in Vienna, is... God DAMN WHY do I like that city so much? It’s bizarre. It’s very pervasive. I don’t enjoy experiencing it, I don’t think it’s attractive, I don’t like it. I love Vienna THROUGH that wound. I REALLY LOVE Vienna. That’s one of the clearest things that I know in my heart. I love Vienna... and that’s the whole story. It’s one of the easiest things for me to say.

Lots of people love a city. We do it for reasons. I think our hearts are drawn where they are drawn because we are attracted to healing the specific karmas of places. The karma of my hometown is mainly racial, with native american underneath. The coffee shop that is equivalent to P*****n serves often as a place of racial conversation and healing. It is actually pretty amazing. And once there was a white supremacist with a gun there and he stood up on a table and let people see his gun. He didn’t yell or anything. But that vital thing happened there in that coffee shop.

Excuse me I also love coffee shops and Vienna is the land of coffee shops.

Okay. I love Vienna! I literally love Vienna, with my heart. I love Vienna.

One last thing. I’m saving then editing...

The postscript: A major resource, and it kinda sidesteps some things, is language. It will be much better if German is spoken in these conversations. When I went to Vienna last, I didn’t prepare my German because when I went to Vienna first, everyone spoke English and it was simply easier to speak English all the time, so I figured I wouldn’t try to give the illusion and disappoint. But lo... the native people really, really resent it if you don’t even try to speak German. They actually seem to experience it as an injury. It is wild, if you’re not expecting it.

ALL OVER VIENNA I saw the Graffiti stamp/brand, “Tourism is terrorism.” 

When I was in the airport and the cute customs dudes asked me the purpose of my visit, I said “TOURISM” and they laughed. That was fun. But it was a lie. I was a pilgrim. I... know I was a tourist, technically. But I felt such hatred for the tourists standing like apes in front of the Schubert statue in the Stadtpark. Their wretched selfie smiles plastered on top of the emptiness of their experience. My purpose in Vienna had nothing in common with theirs. And I claim that I didn’t do a lot of the tourist things - not many museums or concerts or whatever.

One of my more pleasant memories was going into a used book shop and asking about a book in the window, a German-language edition of the tao te ching from 1923 (a very strange time). I asked in English. The clerk was confused and asked if I spoke German, and I answered in German that I spoke some German, but was learning, and knew the TTC very well, and that it’s simply usually easier to speak in English. I might have used imperfect German, but I felt dignified and natural doing it.

Ok, not only the German language, but the quiet Viennese demeanor of Scorpiness. Scorpscorpscorpscorp. Quiet, observant, emotional, and responsive to gentle tenderness and consideration, and traumatized by brashness. 

Both the spoken language, and the language of the demeanor, I think are somatic approaches that sidestep cognitive...things and make the culture feel unconsciously accepted and open.

On my first trip I learned howwwwww AMERICAN I was, and then on my second trip I opened myself up to my inner Wiener and was quiet and scorpy, and I felt warmth emerge from the people and city in response. It felt really right, and it felt like i was honoring...her, and it felt um sort of romantic. ha 

[mini-min-yoongi]

November AO3 Yoonmin readings:

Hey guys! Here I bring you this past month’s readings. Even though they are mainly yoonmin, this month there are a couple of OT7 fics of which I hadn’t read much until now. There is also some namjin, vhope and taekook as side pairings in some of them. I hope everyone can find something that peaks their interest so… enjoy! :)

1) Boyfriend Tag

“Normally I post dance routines and the occasional tag or challenge video and I know I haven’t posted in a while so I am here to make it up to you all. Yoongi lost a bet sooooo we are here with the highly requested, boyfriend tag!!” Jimin yelled making Yoongi wince and lean away from him. “Are you ready?” Jimin asked bringing his attention to Yoongi. “You better not get a thing wrong,” He warned pointing a finger at Yoongi.

Jimin is a youtuber and he gets his boyfriend Yoongi to film a video for his channel.

2) I’m your guilty pleasure (You can’t get out. Never) (contains smut)

Yoongi has just discovered his neighbor that he thinks is too damn loud is actually an internet camboy.

Chaos ensues when they start seeing each other. Things get hard–literally.

3) Crazy is most definitely genetic (work in progress; Pairings: Namjoon/Seokjin, Yoongi/Jimin, Hoseok/Taehyung, + Baby Kookie)

Family!au where Jimin’s just trying to survive high school, Taehyung keeps weirding everyone out, Namjoon is an embarrassing dad, Jin is supermom, and Jungkookie’s just along for the ride.

Very cute and funny!

4) Trolling ARMY (OT7, brotp, no pairings, BTS universe)

“The boys play a game where they compete to see who can get the most "shippy” comments of the week.“ Yoongi watched from an armchair on the other side of the room, trying not to chuckle. Ever since he’d learned the term shipping, he’d watched his brothers with a different eye. None of them were gay–though Namjoon had once drunkenly pontificated at length about his distaste for labels–or interested in one another. But they were all a little…handsy.

5) TRB in NYC (OT7, brotp, no pairings, BTS universe)

"What happened?” Namjoon asked, his voice tight. They had been skirting around him all day. As if he didn’t know. He found it darkly funny. His English was better than all of them combined, even their manager. He’d read the tweets, the posts, the threats. He’d tried to keep the other members from it as much as he could, but everyone had an inkling things had escalated past normal fan stuff.

“We’ve had a credible threat.”

Based on the threats that they received when they performed at New York. BTS hurting and comforting each other.

6) 7 minutes in heaven (*)

“It’s a fusion game. The person who spins the bottle gets to ask the person it landed on truth or dare, and if that person doesn’t want to answer or do the dare then they either take a shot or take off an article of clothing,” Jin says like he’s proud of improvising such a fantastic game.

“I’m not playing that,” Yoongi says. “Hyung, don’t be a party pooper, are you scared we’ll learn your secrets?” Hoseok asks and Namjoon ah’s dramatically. Yoongi shakes his head and puts his tongue in his cheek before he smiles at their antics, pushing Namjoon over closer to Jin so that he can sit down. “Please, hyung, it sounds like fun!” Jungkook says. “It’s my birthday.” 

I’m a simple girl. I love seeing a devoted and whipped Yoongi for Jimin even before they start dating. I love an innocent and kind Jimin crushing on his firend’s older brother who is kinda a bad boy and very cool. And I love BTS getting together, spitting embarrassing secrets and playing spin the bottle. This fic has all these elements and that’s why it’s one of my favorite readings of the month.

7) #mindreading Series

It’s my first time reading a fic in which someone has a gift because I’m more into stories that aren’t too fictional, but apart from Yoongi being able to read people’s minds, it doesn’t have any other “supernatural” elements so I decided to give it a try and I really enjoyed it. It was super cute reading about Jimin’s thoughts about Yoongi and I liked how the author developed their relationship and Jimin’s reaction towards Yoongi’s gift.

7.1) #mindreading #ad

Yoongi can read minds and Jimin is instagram famous.

7.2) Steady Hum (contains smut)

The one where Yoongi can read minds and Jimin is instagram famous PART 2.

8) Error: Words Not Found (*)

Soulmate AU where your soulmate’s first words to you will appear as a tattoo on your wrist at birth.

•×××××××××ו

In a world where most people’s lives revolved around finding their soulmates, Yoongi was different, not because he didn’t care-he cared a lot, he wanted someone to be The One for him too-but because he was convinced he didn’t have one.

It had been twenty-two years and still his wrist remained blank and unblemished.

As you may know by now I’M A SUCKER FOR SOULMATE AUS. So... yeah. I read another one and LOVED IT. I live for this kind of angst and I’d love to give a more thorough review but I don’t want to spoil it so go read it because it’s sadly just two chapters but full of good shit.

9)  You don’t have to say I love you (to say I love you)

yoongi’s so painfully and obviously in love with jimin, it sort of hurts the other members sometimes.

BTS universe.

10) Gotta Be Fate (If We’re Under the Covers) (contains smut) (*)

Jimin is excited to just sleep for a day and maybe catch up on some tv shows at the hotel.

That is, until they get to the new hotel they’re staying at, and he gets handed a room key that’s the same as Yoongi’s. Meaning, he and Yoongi will share a room and worse, he and Yoongi will have to share a bed.

“Why do I have to share with Yoongi-hyung?” Jimin complains. He’s managed to avoid it this whole trip which is really in his best interest if he wants to keep his raging heart boner for him hidden.

AKA my response to Yoonmin sharing a bed, 8 years too late.

BTS universe. I liked this whole idea. Just... just go read it *blushes and hides*

11) The Songbird and the Sea (*)

(pirate au, contains smut, Yoongi/Jimin + Jungkook/Taehyung, Namjoon/Seokjin)

In a world where dominance of the sea is an endless battle between pirates and mariners, Park Jimin is content living in his little village on a small, uninteresting island by the eastern mainland. He wants nothing to do with the bloodshed of good and evil, the heartless killing of both innocents and condemned, the constant establishment and disruption of order. What he wants is peace, to live his life in the same town he was born in, to spend his days in the beautiful forest, and to use the powers of his Blessed Rune to nurture the home he loves so dearly.

But when his island is attacked by pirates, Jimin will have no other choice than to do as they command and leave all thoughts of peace behind in favor of boarding the Agust, a pirate ship captained by the infamous Min Yoongi, Black Fox of the East.

GO READ THIS MASTERPIECE OH MY GOD. I’ve never been interested in fiction heavy aus like pirates, superheroes, etc. but I’d heard such great things about this story, the author is lovely and this is the Yoonmin fic with the most kudos on AO3, so I decided to give it a try and BEST DECISION I’VE MADE THIS MONTH. It’s made me feel so many emotions. I’ve cried, laughed, screamed, blushed and became a mess. The author also gives music recommendations to listen to while reading the chapters and it gives the story that extra something (I actually created playlists for each chapter and I like them so much that I listen to them even when I’m going somewhere lol). Seriously, I’m obsessed with this story, the characters are freaking fantastic, the development is everything and what’s best is that this story is far from over. She’s planning on turning it into a series and I cannot wait to see how the story develops. Also, the author has a schedule so there’s a new chapter every week which is something that I appreciate a lot, especially when starting to read a work in progress (it’s almost finished, next week she’ll upload the epilogue and it’ll be complete). GO READ IT AND COME SCREAM AND CRY ABOUT IT WITH ME.

12) 흰 여름 (’White Summer’) (*)

“Diversity,” Namjoon had said when he had explained the concept to them, “Learning to love yourself, no matter what.” “We already did that,” Yoongi had pointed out, “Literally the same title.” But Namjoon, when he looked at him, had seemed strangely bright and somber at the same time. “Not like this,” he had said.

Or, Jimin and Yoongi have to kiss for an MV. And deal with the fallout.

BTS universe. F**k, this is good! I don’t know what to say but that as you may know I really like fics that are kinda canon compliant and this one is SO GOOD. The group is working on a new album and it’s kinda like love myself but riskier in the sense that it is a controversial topic in south korea. I just love it when people also write about the korean music industry (even if it may not be 100% accurate, but let’s be honest, only the people working in it knows what’s up really) because I find it so interesting and not many people talk about it in depth. Of course, I can’t finish without saying that I really enjoyed the development of Jimin and Yoongi’s relationship, how Yoongi wasn’t aware of Jimin’s sexual orientation. A good fic right here!

Special mention:

~Too Much to Admit (Taehyung centric, OT7 Relationship)

The first time it happens, Taehyung doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t know how.

To start, I would like to say that this fic deals with a very serious and triggering topic for some so if you are not in a good mental place or you could be triggered by it please do not read it. This fic doesn’t have any pairings and it’s a BTS universe fic. It’s complete and I really enjoyed the different ways in which each member deals with what’s happening. In my opinion, the author did an excellent job at portraying each character and the way in which they would behave in such a difficult situation. I’m especially really liking her take on Jungkook because you can clearly see that he’s the youngest one, his confusion and anger clearly shows how much he cares about the well-being of all his hyungs. I don’t know, it’s such a heavy fic, but I really liked it.

(*) My favourite ones.

[almostdangerousdreamer]

We connect to 7G, WE THE ARMYS.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpw2A0xlHls

In our fandom, there are many talented ARMYs who communicate through art, who let their creations speak on their behalf. Writing, performing, painting, acting and composing. These are just few of the numerous artforms that ARMYs use to speak themselves. Letting people hear what they have to say and posting their arts on social media is a way of allowing people to witness their art and connect to it, to communicate with them and share themselves with others, just like BTS does.

BTS is keen on art; everyone knows this. Their dance choreographies, the scenography of the stage, the creative lighting, and everything that is part of their performance aim to communicate something, to make their music resonate more intensely with the audience.

Their performance at MAMA 2018 in Hong Kong will remain unforgettable for ARMY. The emotions conveyed by the performance and the amazing stage work made all their hard work and talent visible in every second of it. They execute art in every form.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAQmOBUtlQU&t=143s

BTS has been teaching us how to love ourselves for the past years. Communicating what we feel and sharing who we are without fear, is a way to show that we’re learning how to love ourselves. ARMYs demonstrate this by posting their artwork on social media, which leads to an extraordinary variety of art reaching every corner of the world and making thousands of people smile, cry, empathize, and feel.

After all, art is a way to enjoy life and a way to make life enjoyable.

Being an ARMY and stanning BTS is one of the greatest decision that I’ve made on my entire existence. I found a family, friend and my ENTIRE HAPPINESS.

ARMYs are an incredibly diverse group, and many join the fandom in different moments; however, in spite of our differences, there will always be certain things we have in common. Aside from our love for BTS, there are many little habits that ARMYs share. Let’s take a look at ten things BTS ARMYs do, either as individuals or as a collective.

One of the first things an ARMY learns to do is to keep an eye on BTS’s social media accounts at 12:00 AM (KST). Big Hit is well known for dropping new content at this time without any notice, so it’s only natural that we would want to see it as soon as it happens. However, if you do this every day, chances are you’ll start feeling like a clown whenever you wait in vain. We might be wrong most days, but it is always worth it when the clock hits 12, and there’s suddenly something like “Film Out” mv teaser on the timeline, as it happened just a few days ago.

Being in this fandom was like a rollercoaster road, there are some days that everything was so funny then the next day everyone was sooooo emotional! Oh well I guess, we are really sharing the 7g level braincells.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGZm7vj47iE

[nothingneverforever]

Never Have I Ever (2020)

Hey, I think this is my first TV series ‘review’ ever! Well I did do a basically empty post on Unforgotten (season 1) back in Feb 2017, promising to write properly my full feelings down, but that was something I never got back to. It’s still one of the best TV shows ever in the whole world, so hopefully I have time for it some day.

Anyway, meanwhile Never Have I Ever (NHIE), is… absolutely not good. At all….

I’d decided to watch it after seeing Mindy Kaling’s Late Night (2019), which was surprisingly enjoyable and moving even, and not just because Emma Thomson is one of my favourite celebrities in this world. It was a fun movie, and it felt different (from other similar films) ! I say it was surprising because I guess due to misogyny or something, I never thought I had reason to take Mindy Kaling seriously. And I am so sorry for it! There were parts of the script (Late Night) that worked out so, so well.

Back to NHIE! First, here are some synopses I’ve found online of the series:

-        The complicated life of a modern-day first generation Indian American teenage girl, inspired by Mindy Kaling's own childhood.

-        After a traumatic year, an Indian-American teen just wants to spruce up her social status - but friends, family and feelings won't make it easy on her

-        Episode 1: After recent trauma, Devi starts her first day as a high school sophomore determined to shake off old labels and finally become cool.

So I guess my first complaint about NHIE is a bone I could pick with just about any American production from the last, idk, 8 years. You know how when (for whatever reason) every single character is ‘awkward’ or ‘weird’ or sooo idiosyncratic in general, they just end up all being… almost exactly the same? Where all the over-used tropes, every character’s too-loud too-colourful unique defining traits just end up reading the same way, to me at least.  

Need all characters be so strong, really? Strong as in, overly sapid, full-bodied, clearly defined, distinct in a way that actually isn’t unique at all… I mean I’m not asking for more Jack Maliks (from Yesterday, as reviewed here by me) cos fuk dat guy omfg hate him and his dull ass lol but … do you know what I mean? When every character has traits that are so instantly recognizable, so clear to the plain eye without need for any nuanced observation or interpretation that you can almost like .. see the literal line of text in Courier font for the character description in the screenplay flashing before your eyes? Like of course as viewers we do want to feel like we have some grasp of the characters we’re investing in and relating to but I think if traits and personalities and mannerisms are so simplistic (even if they are diverse) that the characters themselves can ve perfectly summed up in a nutshell then that’s not a good thing at all.. I don’t know, it just seems a very American thing that I’m tired of, where there’s just a complete dearth of authenticity and complexity. Because no one in real life is ever sooooo distinctly themselves 100% of the time you know? Sure, I haven’t seen something specifically catered for teens in a while so maybe it’s just genre-specific thing but I do think there was so much more room for more realistic characters here.

Okay but still, 90% of all comments I have trawled through (facebook, Instagram, youtube) seem to be from American teens, talking about how relatable the show is so I guess high school teachers really be out there acting like caricatures of their TV trope selves and friends are all awkward af among each other and quirky at home and quirky on the streets walking home and quirky in the corridors of their school and exaggerate every reaction in every ordinary situation. But here’s the thing, I don’t think people are actually this way. I think many of them pretend that they are, act like they are. I think here lies the danger: where the more media we have portraying this kind of intensely saturated characters and personalities, the more young people will think that to be ‘themselves’, they have to raise the decibels of each and every trait of their own… I dunno if you understand me?  I think it’s an insidious feedback cycle not dissimilar to the manic pixie dreamgirl effect, not in how women’s quirkiness serves to bring out dormant sides of men but just in how people (especially girls because due to society-enforced insecurities are more susceptible to taking influence from popular role models) have to BE SO *INSERT ANY ADJECTIVE HERE* … I don’t know… it’s just inauthentic and tiring. So NHIE is okay, as long as it is makes clear that it’s caricaturizing different examples of how some people may act in different circumstances… but it doesn’t do this. Aiyah I know I’m making a huge deal out of what some people will obviously just take as entertainment and gags for laughs etc but… it’s annoying to me…

Okay

Next

So I’m not sure if you got this from the synopses I’d copied above, so, again: NHIE revolves around a nice girl, Devi (15), who lost her father (heart attack, in the middle of the school hall where he was watching Devi perform at her school orchestra concert) last year and is now starting a new year of school, coping with the incident by stifling every single traumatic memory. Also there are some random throwaways here and there about her having literally become physically disabled for 3 months after her father’s death where Devi lost the ability to use her legs (psychosomatic reaction to her loss) but it’s only ever joked at in insignificant ways so I guess… we shall never know that side of her grief? But all this (grieving over dead father, impersonal relationship with stern mother etc) is mere backdrop, joining other backdrop themes like being a shitty friend from start to end in unbelievably shitty ways etc – the main ‘plot’ instead is made up of Devi’s desperate quest to have sex with Paxton, a 16 year-old ‘hottie’ from school who she likes, erm, because, hot.

Yea that’s it…… that’s the critique. She’s a 15 year old girl whose everyday actions (for the most part) are calculated to lead up to her deflowering by her crush. Not to be a prude but… is this an okay storyline? Like are 15 year-olds legally allowed to have sex? Lol… Am I under any misconception about what teens all over the world get up to? No. Do I think that the law plays any useful role in preventing young girls and boys from sexualizing themselves and wasting their time on sexual pursuits when they can and should be developing literally any other interest and skill? No. Am I still unhappy that this was the main motivating factor for Devi to get up and out of her home each day, unhappy that for this reason (her goal of sleeping with Paxton), unhappy that because of this she morphed into the worst, most unreliable and unrelatable friend ever to her besties who needed her badly??? Yes!

Look, I’ve covered relevant topics in my 4 years of social work education to understand Devi’s actions as unhealthy, maladaptive coping behaviours – we see Devi exhibit behaviours / thoughts etc evocative of basically all 4 stages of the Kubler-Ross grief cycle, besides the final stage of acceptance: denial, anger, bargaining, depression. If we look at Virginia Satir’s coping stances instead, (different types of behaviours people exhibit when under stress), Devi again displays all 4 stances: super reasonable (i.e. over-rationalizing something so as to avoid confronting/acknowledging the emotional truth), irrelevant (distracting, changing the topic, inappropriate jokes), placating (self-explanatory)  and blaming (again, obvious). So basically, Devi does, says and feels anything and everything besides maturely coping with the loss of her father. Is this realistic? Yes! Does everyone work within their own timelines before finally coming to that final Kubler-Ross stage of acceptance? Absolutely! And I am not at all rushing Devi to act ‘normal’ or to display healthier coping mechanisms. I just wish the grief was handled so so so much better by Mindy Kaling and whoever else was involved in developing this story - this story that is honestly full of promise. In other words, how Devi fails to handle her grief could have been written so much better, so much deeper instead of her failings itself being the central form of entertainment for much of the 10 episodes.

Anyway, also, besides it being morally not okay for a 15 year-old’s thirst for sex to be an accepted plot point (accepted on- and off-screen I mean), the actors playing Devi and Paxton are 10 years apart in age. Devi (reminder: age 15 on-screen) is played by a lovely actress who is currently 18, and Paxton is played by someone who is currently 29. So like….. she would likely have been 17 at the time of shooting? That’s just not okay and I don’t think I need say more lol. Shit like this, miscasting your key heartthrob, is just so… cheapo and so late 90s/early 2000s you know where the actors are so so clearly adults playing high schoolers, it’s just… cheapo af and absolutely inexcusable now.

Okay, everything up to this point in my ‘review’ has just been small here-and-there thoughts I had while watching it, and I’ve dedicated fluffy paragraph after paragraph on them so as to delay speaking about my main issue with the series: how the central trauma is dealt with... insomuch as it isn’t, at all.

And I’m not just saying this as someone who’s fresh off having just re-watched A Single Man, because they are obviously intended as very different works and intentionally made of (made with?) very different calibers but there are, surely, much much better ways to handle grief than what we are given with NHIE where Devi tries her darnest to have sex with her dreamboat bae. Okay so early in the series (second episode), Devi actually does get with Paxton in his garage after propositioning him (by ambushing him outside school after he finished swim practice or something), but when he takes off her shirt she’s like ok nvm I cant have sex now bye. So yea, it doesn’t happen. But it continues to be her main source of distraction from her grief, so it does remain a central plot point. Anyway the therapist character in NHIE is a joke, full of age-old TV-therapist lines like “So how do you feel about that?” etc, other platitudes and hollow-isms. She does try to tell Devi that it is not in her interest to be putting her sense of self worth on being “bangable” (I do believe this was the exact word used, cant be bothered to find the exact minute in the speicifc episode but yea trust that Devi and her therapist are candid with speaking about her plans for deflowering and Devi is never willing to talk about anything else but), but … I don’t know, Devi’s schtick gets tiresome, not because I’m neuronormative and want to see more normal behavior from the dear girl or because I’m annoyed with how badly she’s handling her grief, but more because of how badly they (writers, producers whoever etc) are handling it.

Like, up till the very end, we see her irrelevant stances or proof of her denial as fodder for lame jokes and utterly cliché dialogue, in what should be a genuine and ‘real’ scene. It’s annoying!! See below for screencaps from slightly over halfway through the FINAL episode of the series - in other words, way, way too late for a joke to be made out of how Devi resorts to the same poor coping mechanisms in distracting from her grief. I’ve screenshotted only parts of the convo, leaving out the parts where this serious convo turns into a joke about Eleanor, that itself pretends to be deep and serious but it isn’t at all...?

Devi’s friends confront her about the most serious thing in the entire series (her needing to go down to her beach to meet her mom to scatter her dad’s ashes, something she hitherto has rejected as she is unable to face this final step in accepting his death but masks with more irrelevant excuses), and she’s still coping poorly by ‘deflecting’, as her friend rightly says. I don’t know about you, but this was not a scene I needed jokes in at all.

But then, like… suddenly…. Immediately after this she starts crying and everything is good for the first time and there is acceptance within her and some semblances of healing of the fractures in her relationship with her mom etc… I dunno, it’s just not cathartic at all, because Devi hasn’t been given enough of a journey at all. The 0 to 100 thing doesn’t work here because it’s not satisfying (for us) or realistic (for Devi) at all.

Re: the grief, I dunno, if we look at another, equally popular Netflix production, The Haunting of Hill House comes to mind. Yes, obviously not at all a meaningful or fair comparison to make but again, if it’s about a family dealing with grief and loss, why can’t we expect that NHIE carry the same gravitas? In Hill House, we see our characters fumble and lash out and ‘pop off’ (a term used in NHIE which I found strangely out of place) at one another, often, but never are manifestations of their grief, never are clear mishandlings of their grief on display for our entertainment in the form of laughs or ‘cringe’ purposes. It’s just...not everything has to be funny you know? Even if it’s a teen show. I think there are ways, subtle ways, expert ways for something to be serious without at all needing to be heavy.

Again, like my gripe with the childish and/or cheap caricatures of human personalities which would be okay if this series was clearly presented as light entertainment to fill gaps in one’s day, not handling the trauma and grief could (perhaps) be overlooked if it didn’t pretend that it would in fact handle it. But everyone’s discussing the show as if it genuinely was an incredible take on dealing with loss and trauma, as if it’s contributed significantly to understandings of how a young, beautiful lovely ‘normal’ schoolgirl can live and learn through extreme trauma… BUT THE SHOW DOESN’T DO THIS LIKE IT LITERALLY DOESN’T AT ALL I FUCKING SWEAR…. Please watch all 10 episodes and show me even just ONE minute where we come full circle from anything, where Devi grows through her pain and where her journey is developed over more than just literally the last 7 minutes of screentime in the very last episode of the entire series. And I’m also seeing soooooo many comments from people who have enjoyed the series mention how fun and lighthearted it was, how comfortable they are to categorize the series as comedy and how great a time they had binge-watching it. But… it’s not funny? Like it’s really not lol… Devi is dealing with a most painful, urgent grief, having lost her father tragically a year before (and having to see him go before her very eyes). Her denial, her various-aforementioned-unhealthy-coping-mechanisms-and-maladaptive-behaviours made for painful watching for me. It shouldn’t be funny for us to see her abandon her friends when they most needed her; it shouldn’t be fun to see her lash out at her mom and dream of Paxton shirtless, these shouldn’t be comedic externalities of her situation at all. Does this mean I want an utterly dour, extremely humourless NHIE instead? Not at all! I just wish scenes / examples of her mishandling her grief were not the same ones that are supposed to make us laugh and think that everything is light and fun. Like, we can have other funny scenes featuring Devi instead you know? Things that aren’t actually incredibly harmful to her psyche.

ANYWAY

Some positives, cos I did enjoy this stupid series lollll and I did cry and I did laugh and I did look forward to watching it every evening while I exercised, okie? :)

There is one honestly genius thing that I like, where the genius lies in its utter randomness. The series (save for one episode which I will not talk about cos I don’t really give a shit about Andy Samberg and whoever his inclusion was pandering to) was narrated by John McEnroe, who, er, apparently is a well-known American tennis player. The only tennis player I know is Andre Agassi because for some reason in 2016 I borrowed from the library and read cover-to-cover his autobiography omg actually why on earth did I even do that lol I must have read somewhere that it was good perhaps? Anyway it is still recognized as one of the most ‘interesting’ or iconic sports autobiographies of all time so. But yea John McEnroe who?? He (John) is mentioned here and there as having been Devi’s late father’s favourite tennis player – which still does nothing to explain how and why he is narrating the whole series, which is great! I do enjoy the no-attempt-made to connect the fact of his narration to anything in the plot. But it’s not done in an annoyingly absurdist way either, you know? It just it what it is. I mean I guess if I’d written the screenplay which was in part autobiographical, I’d too love to have LeBron James or Megan Rapinoe narrating it, just because!

Ultimately, I think we must all acknowledge how fucking epic it is for Mindy Kaling to be where she is today. That Netflix approached her and asked for a story from her heart, drawing from her own life, and gave her the boundary-less freedom to write what she wanted is cool. She may not be the voice I think teens (or any audience really) may most need but they certainly do want this voice – NHIE is so so so loved and appreciate across the board – by adults, kids, diasporic Indian girls, normal non-minority-race girls etc, with everyone calling (begging) for another season, and anyway Mindy Kaling is probably about 1000000x better anyway than others who have been granted the same stage and presence as her before, like, I dunno, Michael fucking Bay or fucking James Cameron so yay her !!! For the sake of us all!

--------

update, a few hours later:

so since forcing Jade to read my post the second it went up, i have learnt that:

So there goes the one singular uniquely cute thing I did appreciate about NHIE then i guess, seeing as his random feature throughout the series isn’t unique at all... seeing as unexpectedness makes for a predictable part of his record, it is no longer charming to me.  lol bye!

[shakespearerants]

Why Modern Y/A Literature Is Shit - Five Lists, A Rant, And A Conclusion

Let’s start with the lists, shall we? First, we have the typical overused y/a protagonists. There are:

1) the incompetent-but-pretty female protagonist. I’m talking about that “oh I’m not like other girls I hate makeup and I’m sooooo clumsy and also a nerd because I don’t like to party” girl, the one that always says she’s ugly but is described as stereotypically attractive. Usually white. Always gets the insanely attractive guy in the end. Relatable ™.

2) the mysterious bad boy that every girl wants a slice of. Usually either rich, a supernatural being, or involved in some sketchy shit. Has a Tragic Backstory™ that is unlocked by the female protagonist after little-to-none probing, maybe some bambi eyes, when the story is at the point where he would look like a real douche if his shitty behavior was left unexplained.

3) the female Leader of the Revolution. Usually white. Fights for Freedom and What Is Good, would actually be pretty ok in my books, if there weren’t…

4) the male love interest of the female Leader of the Revolution. Usually very flat character. We know exactly two thing about him: a) He’s Sexy b) He’s In Love. Sometimes there’s a small bonus and we also know that he has a Tragic Backstory™, usually involving something that is supposed to show that he and the female Leader of the Revolution are Soulmates or at least that they have History Together. And then there’s…

5) the Love Triangle. Im counting this as “one” main character because, lets be honest, most (read: all that I know) love triangles don’t have enough depth to justify analyzing all three parts separately. It goes like this: girl was Normal and had Best Male Friend who was In Love With Her since Forever, but Never Said Anything. Then Something Happens and Guy Two (the mysterious bad boy) shows up, usually quite out of the blue. He is Mysterious and Experienced and Interested In The Girl, who is suddenly Very Important for a Higher Cause. Then Best Male Friend Gets Jealous and Confesses His Feelings when confronted by the Girl. Then all there of them go on an Epic Quest together. A common variation of this is Girl meets two boys. One is Nice™ and one is Sexy™. HOW WILL SHE DECIDE???!11?? (also epic quest in the backround)

And then we have the supporting characters. Who are usually either…

1) the gay OR the racially diverse Best Friend of the Protagonist. Especially if it’s a male protagonist. BUT CAREFUL!!!!!111! He has to be a) male b) EITHER gay OR racially diverse, and c) ok with casually used homophobic/racist stereotypes

2) the Nerd Friend of the (usually male) protagonist. Wears glasses. Doesn’t know anything about sports. Easily hurt. Thankful™ for their Cool Protagonist Friend. Usually bullied. Knows stuff about: a) Star Wars b) Comics c) Lord of the Rings. If the author is really adventurous he also cosplays, usually as a LOTR character

3) the Best Girl Friend of the incompetent-but-pretty female protagonist. Usually very flat character. Comes out of nowhere to Give Advice and disappears back into the void. 

But the most annoying thing is that literally almost every y/a novel or series that you pick up in literally any bookstore/library can be assigned one of these general storylines:

1) the Your Are Different storyline. Girl is Normal™. Maybe has a Tragic Backstory™, but nothing too bad. Then Something Happens and she learns that she is Not Normal, by which I mean that she either has some sort of supernatural powers or that she is The Long Lost Princess or at very least The Chosen One. Then some love triangle comes to spiel, she has to Leave Her Old Life Behind and Save The World. Book ends with some sort of sappy love confession or her deciding which part of the love triangle she chooses. Sometimes seen with a male protagonist, but without the love triangle. 

2) the Love Triangle storyline. Well. I think it’s self-explanatory.

3) the Supernatural Shit Going On storyline. Someone (usually a guy) is the Chosen One. Chosen One has to fight in order to save some recently discovered world/their own world. Meets some friends who are usually two or more dudes and one super badass girl who is only there because Equality™ and is either the one who gets Possessed By The Evil or is the only one who has to be saved at one point in the story. If we have a female protagonist then she and the girl Hate Each Other For Literally No Reason until the protagonist Saves The Girl in some very dramatic way and they realize that the other is Actually Not That Bad. Female protagonist usually teaches girl about Feelings and maybe sets her up with That One Guy In The Group that she’s had a crush on for Literal Years but never made a move because Feelings Are For Babys or she was Scared And Didn’t Know What To Say To Him. 

4) the This Book Isn’t Like Other Books storyline. Some shit that doesn’t have anything to do with interpersonal relationships or at the most bullying is going on. Usually features a Controversial Protagonist™ (read: the one who started the deeply illegal or at least sketchy shit that’s going on and is also the muggle version of Voldemort, character wise). The (usually male) protagonist, who is also a social outcast, now has to work to Stop The Sketchy Shit that he started, but he Can’t Do It Alone. A group of three people (two boys, one pretty girl), who are also a part of the Popular Group At School, are somehow pulled into the shit and help the Controversial Protagonist™ Fix His Mistakes and Become A Better Person. Sometimes they become friends in the end. 

AND, because I can, have some shitty shitty plot devices.

1) the Love Triangle. It’s shitty and unnecessary in every way because it always features at least 3 of these things: bad writing. Heteronormativity. Exclusively white people. Disregard of the feelings of the female lead by at least one of the guys. Use of past traumatic experiences of one of the male leads to justify predatory and/or dangerous/possessive behavior. Related to that: use of mental illness/trauma solely to gain sympathy of the audience. Characters’ (specially the guys’) lives and decisions revolve around romantic/sexual relationships. Related to that: romanticization of unhealthy relationships. Enforcement of gender stereotypes. Objectification of the characters (especially the male characters). 

2) Miscommunication. I don’t even have to say anything, do I.

3) The One Friend In The Group That Betrays Them All And The Subsequent Fallout. WHY. WHY do authors feel the need to have one person in a close-knit group of friends betray everyone. I mean, it would even be THAT bad if most authors didn’t use it as a cheep method to create suspense for the final showdown, or kill off a character, or to distract from the fact that most villains in modern y/a literature are really flat characters with no real motives for their plans for world takeover or whatever it is they’re trying to accomplish by giving them a radicalized follower. 

4) the Love Confession When The Guy Either Thinks She’s Chosen Someone Else Or Is Being Separated From The Girl. Like. NO. Just no. Thats like THE cheapest way to create emotional conflict. Or to subtly manipulate your readers. Because that is essentially what the author is doing: guilt-tripping you into supporting a relationship, because unless that guy was a real douchbag, and if he WAS, 99% of the people who read that stuff will be like “OH MY POOR BBY JUST GOT HIS HEART BROKEN” and BAM, no one’s gonna argue that his feelings aren’t genuine, or say that he doesn’t deserve her, bc bitch did you read this he confessed to her when he thought he was never gonna see her again  

5) the Love Confession From Her Jealous Best Friend. Again, a cheep way to create emotional tension and gain sympathy from the reader. 

6) the Vaguely Sexual Encounter. Usually something comparatively innocent, like a heated kiss or make-out session, usually used to intensify emotional dilemma, either because of a love triangle (I really can’t stand love triangles) or because she shouldn’t be kissing the guy or something. And the thing is, it wouldn’t even be a bad thing if it weren’t completely misplaced (like, a day away from the final battle misplaced) in most cases, or worse: slutshaming. Or, worse still: the cringey sex discussion that ends in either slutshaming or kinda just fizzles out.   

7) the We’re Gonna Die But It’s Okay Because I Love You talk, usually delivered by the male lead to the female lead before all goes to shit. And honestly I have never read a book where this shit happened where they knew each other for more than four weeks. And lemme tell you there is nothing more unrealistic than a teenage dude giving a two-page talk about why he loves a girl that he’s known for a maximum of four weeks. I once read a book where this happened and they knew each other for three days and made out once and he literally gave that speech twice (no, I’m not taking about Romeo and Juliet). Like, do you authors understand the people you are writing books for? Do you have any idea how teenage relationships work? 

8) Bulling That’s Used As A Plot Device But Ultimately Stays Unresolved or, even worse, The People Who Bully Me Are (A Part Of) The Group I Have to Join To Save The World And Suddenly We’re Best Friends. THIS. THIS is almost worse than the fucking love triangle shit. Because lemme tell you something: If bullying isn’t stopped, if the bullies don’t face consequences for their actions, then guess what? IT’S NOT GONNA FUCKING STOP, THATS WHAT. It’ll continue on and on and on until someone won’t take that shit anymore. Yeah, sure, it might seem like it stopped, especially if you’re seeing everything from the view of a character who was suddenly not bullied anymore, but let me tell you: that is an illusion. They just shift to the next victim. And it’s so so toxic to write it like everything is suddenly ok, oh my gosh. Because it’s not, it doesn’t stop, it just shifts to somewhere else, and thousands of bullied kids that read these books are gonna think that it does. And they’re gonna go and look at their bullies and start feeling sympathy for them because they read a hundred and one books where the bullies are actually good guys, so their bullies can’t be that bad, can they? And voila, thats the first step to excusing toxic behavior. The first step to make sure that these kids never speak up against oppressors. 

Some things that I am really sick of in general but even more when seen in y/a literature: 

1) bad and/or lazy writing, especially when it comes to character development

2) casual sexism

3) underrepresentation and/or stereotypization of LGBTQIA characters

4) underrepresentation and/or stereotypization of non-white characters

5) lack of female supporting characters

6) little to no character development seen in male characters, especially love interests/supporting characters

7) reinforcement of stereotypically masculine/feminine character traits

8) little to no explanation offered concerning culture and other specifics of fantasy worlds (also known as WHY WRITE FANTASY IF YOU’RE NOT GONNA INCLUDE SOME ACTUAL FANTASY)

9) romanticization of toxic relationships

10) hypersexualization of teenagers, because no matter how good looking he is, you shouldn’t describe a sixteen year old boy the same way you would a twenty five year old porn star

And the thing is that this isn’t some kind of one time thing. I didn’t just finish a series that i really disliked or read a few bad books in a row. This rant is the product of literal year-long frustration because I literally cannot find anything in the y/a section of bookstores and libraries and publishing companies websites that doesn’t feature at least one of the above mentioned main characters, one of the above mentioned supporting characters, and some variation of the above mentioned storylines. And I am honestly so sick of it, and so are many many more young adults, because in the beginning you just read that shit, you know. And then it comes to the point where you get so sick of seeing the same stories repeated over and over and the same characters used over and over that you start really searching for books that are different. But these books are so rare, and so hard to find! And after some time you start feeling like you’re being bullshitted by authors and publishing companies. Because most of y/a literature is not only cliche and stereotypical and just plain boring after some time, its also often very badly written. And I’m not just talking language here, though that is a part of it. I’m talking major plot holes, complete lack of character development, period novels or novels that feature time travel being so cringe-worthily historically inaccurate that you actually start wonder if the author did it on purpose, a suspense arc that would, drawn, look like a squiggly line or, even worse but sadly even more common, just a downward sloping curve that maybe, if you’re really lucky, curves slightly upwards again in the last five chapters. There are so many y/a novels out there that I seriously can’t imagine ever having been edited or beta read. And lately it seem like most publishing companies out there just don’t care what they publish any more, you know? Its just one love triangle after the other. And honestly society is moving forward at an increasingly fast pace, the current generation of teenagers and young adults is becoming more tolerant and open minded by the second, and the literature that is written for us, marketed towards us is still dominated by heteronormativity, all-white characters, a lack of male protagonists in the romance and of female protagonists in the action/adventure genre, and sexism. Like, okay, if you think a love triangle is necessary for your story, why not write in a bit of representation for the LGBTQIA community and make it a polyamory in the end instead of having your heroine decide between two hot guys? Or just feature a bi protagonist instead of the cliche straight girl? If you wanna write that stereotypical high school romance why not feature a protagonist who is not white for a change? Also there is a huge difference between books written for boys and books written for girls that is honestly, in my opinion, incomprehensible. Especially if you factor that most boys between the ages of 12 and 20 just don’t read novels because they think reading in general is stupid or they can’t relate to the characters that are portrayed. And this is honestly so concerning because most boys are behind their female classmates when it comes to reading and language skills, which scientists say is a result of boys reading less for enjoyment in their free time, especially less fiction. (sources: (x) (x) (x)) And honestly I can see where thats coming from, there is a) very little literature written for boys, and lets be real, how many boys do you know that would voluntarily read something thats explicitly being marketed for girls and b) the literature actually written for boys is tremendously boring and even more stereotypical and redundant than literature written for girls, plus, you sometimes get the very paradox impression that sex is a kind of tabu theme in boys literature. Like in girls literature its ridiculed and treated in some sort of prepubescent giggly way even though most of literature written for girls revolves around sexual and romantic relationships, but it is addressed, even if its done in an immature way. But boys literature is all about action and danger and bros before hoes. Most books written for a male audience don’t even feature a love interest. And again, this is paradox and kind of weird or even ridiculous because boys are expected to be sexually active from a very young age and the teenage years are the years of (sexual) self-discovery, so in almost all media boys are portrayed as very experienced and sure in their sexuality, except for literature aimed towards them, where they are treated the same way little children are treated: you just don’t talk about sex. How can you expect boys to be sure of themselves when you just leave them in the dark about what they are supposed to be sure about? And don’t even get me started on hyper masculinity portrayed in almost every male character I’ve ever seen in a book (honestly, I won’t start on it because I think that a) my point is clear and b) no one would actually have the patience to read this till the end if I did).

So what’s my conclusion? Well, mainly that y/a literature is currently a lot of shit, and it needs to change to fit the needs and interests of the group that it’s trying to reach. The current development in literature aimed towards young women that features a growing hyper-sexualization of teenage boys and a shift to almost exclusively straight romance literature combined with a gradual decrease of writing quality is very concerning, as is the lack of development in literature aimed towards young men, which seems to be stuck in three genres: mystery/thriller, sports, and action/adventure.

[jess-oh]

Reflection

aaaaaaaaahhhh i did too much today and didnt have enough time to dedicate to my schoolwork!!! Ahhhh!!!!

I FORSURE need to do my moodboards for Publication Design tomorrow and post my articles for negotiation skills and developing a marketing plan. And then after that... i want to do as much as I can. That includes reading for GD III, gathering information online before class on Wednesday, reading and annotating the physical article for developing a marketing plan and so on. I really hope work isn’t too busy tomorrow so I can just get everything done but even if it is, I’m going to just try and stay in the computer lab at school until I finish everything! I just gotta focus and get everything done at once so that I’m prepared for the week! It’s not that I’ve been procrastinating but I’ve been really busy with a lot of other things! I essentially have no time over the weekends anymore so Monday will be my “safe” day from now on until the end of October! Probably! EEEEEE! I do want to stay up and get some of this stuff done but I also know that it’s better to get a good night’s rest and be on time for work! Ido want to be more committed this year and do a better job at faithfully serving my customers with a smile and a good attitude! Haha. I have high hopes for the year so far!

I woke up at Esther’s this morning around 7am and 8:30am. Around 8:30am, I started reading 1 Samuel a bit again before preparing for the day by brushing my teeth and changing my clothes. I decided to wear my jumpsuit! I was kinda worried that it’d be awkward spending so much time with Esther but it wasn’t! I didn’t ask overly intrusive questions and just stayed surface level but we were still able to learn more about each other through that! I learned about her parents&siblings, her views on pets, her apartment, and so on. Very lighthearted and casual! And she bought me an iced blonde americano today! So kind and generous! It was actually a little bit awkward bc she insisted that she would pay but I confessed that I was just going to my backpack to take out my glasses so that I could see the menu. From her tone and offering, it seemed like she was willing to pay anyway and maybe I shouldn’t have assumed it. I felt kinda bad. Anyway, Johnathan picked us up and then we went to go get Daniel Kwon and had a pretty good time in the car ride to church! It did fall silent at times but overall, it was pretty fun! I only wish we could’ve talked more with Daniel bc he was pretty quiet the whole ride after. He does usually keep to himself anyway but still. I felt bad. But we listened to Johnathan’s experience with drum corps and I shared about my internship and we joked about the Bible quiz and discussed all the great parts of Crazy Rich Asians and so on so forth! I was actually really happy to finally have a positive conversation about that movie bc I feel like I’ve just been constantly trying to defend it from the backlash and criticism but I could finally openly discuss it with other people who enjoyed it and it was honestly so great! At church, I signed up to be a mentor for Kidsland and then hurried into service! I sat towards the front behind Johnathan, Esther, and Daniel and was soon joined by Amanda and Angela. I’m really happy Angela and I are starting to get along better this year! I don’t feel so afraid of her constant judgment anymore and I think she’s been accepting me more too. I’m glad! Amanda and I had a great time together as per usual during service and whilst eating together. I’m really blessed to have her in my life and I think we’re going to grow really deep in our relationship with Christ together. Thank you for sending her into my life, God! Even just eating with everyone and welcoming in someone we met over the summer felt so great! Just being able to casually share life together with them all! I was really sarcastic and enthusiastic and unapologetically me and it felt so great! Oh back to the service, the sermon today was sooooo good! P. William challenged our faith and how without God, we are nothing. We should constantly be seeking God like a treasure and be so willing to give up everything for Him! We need to surrender all that we are at His feet but far too often we do so but then want to take it back and solve our issues by our own strength and that’s just not how it works! And that kinda felt like the first “sign” today. I should always keep my eyes locked on Him bc as much as I may study, it’s worth nothing if He is not at the center of my heart. The worship was really good too and my hands and arms just kinda lifted by themselves but I wasn’t thinking about how I sounded or how I looked. I was just so happy and blessed to be serving God! Honestly, a small part of me hoped that Jason saw me but I did my best to just cast out those thoughts and focus on God and I think I did pretty well! Now fast forward to the Bible competition! We didn’t do as poorly as I thought! There were definitely things I could have studied more but my guesses were sometimes right and overall, we did pretty well! We were third place until the very end when we bet it all and lost it all LOL. But we did much better than I thought we’d do! Especially considering how little we all studied! But I do think our study session from last night really helped us retain some more information! Like the story about God and how many times He called Samuel! Esther originally thought it was three but I remembered it being four and bc of that conversation, I had confidence that it was definitely four bc we even checked the Bible for evidence! P. Josh was the pointkeeper and his pride in us was really encouraging! Just by how big he would write our score on the board or whenever he smiled at our joy in winning. It was really nice! I made mistakes at times but by trusting and working together, it actually all turned our pretty well! I wish it could just stay like this but I know Johnny and Christine are returning soon and I am excited to serve with them but I’m also kinda afraid that it’ll ruin our current dynamics! I’ve been having such a great time with everyone and I wish it could just stay like that forever.

After that, Jason graciously drove us all downtown and dropped Amanda, Angela, and I off at the Arc since Angela moved there! Amanda took a bus straight to the mission conference thing she invited me to and I went to 623 to see if it was open so that I could work on some homework! It was closed! D:

Then I took the red line and 15 bus home and immediately peed! I had to so bad! I’m so glad the restroom is so close to the front door! But unfortunately by that time, I only had about 10-15min to rest and I wanted to get a lot of homework done today! Thinking back on it, I’m a little disappointed bc I passed by macapartments earlier on my way to the conference and could’ve easily picked up my textbook! No wait. I remember now. I was going to go but they close at 5pm on Sundays and it was past that time. Riiiiight. But yeah! So I watched a couple videos, tried to quickly figure out how to resize the resource guide, and then I left for the conference! Googlemaps told me it would take me about 23min to walk there but it actually took about 30min, even with me rushing! But then again, I got confused and kinda lost at one point so that makes sense. I did debate on just bailing out bc my decision to attend was so last minute too in favor of doing homework but ultimately, I told Amanda that I would go so I went. And it was so good! Grace Kim, a missionary that recently went to Turkey, shared about her testimony and why missions are so important and her own journey getting there! And as interesting as that was, I was just really surprised by the community after! Everyone was so genuinely welcoming and I was glad to meet them all! I’m excited to go back again next week and see them all again! I want to grow in my faith with them! I know that I’m committed to investing and serving at Lakeview but the people I met today were the people I imagine when I think of church. They were diverse and welcoming and so kind! I really got along with this girl named Amy and we shared our testimonies and how we got to Vision School and just hearing how passionate she was for the Lord now in comparison with how she felt before was so amazing and interesting to learn about! She’s really the one that made me want to join Vision School and maybe even serve as a missionary with her! I really think we can grow deep in our relationship with Christ together! And I am so excited to see her again next week! I should’ve gotten her contact info today but I’m sure I’ll see her again! But the conference was kinda “sign” two! Especially when Grace, the speaker, said our biggest blessing should be Jesus and we should want Him to come now! If we want Him to come later, the things of this world have become idols. My biggest concern in going on a one year mission trip to a different country was the fact that I would be so close to getting my degree and would rather finish that and not mess up the credits that I have already earned and delay the trip for later. But we can’t procrastinate on God! I got to talk to Amanda during the break about her heart in going to Egypt for a year and she shared how she heard from God that when she is turned away from Him, everyone that she would have met and reached out to are also turned away and they all start walking instead towards death. And yeah, she could go to the same place and just delay the trip but there would still be people that she could have reached but never did because of her priorities. And that thought scared her more than anything so she decided to go for those people that she could reach! And it was really interesting to hear about her faith in that! I was also touched by how Grace said Muslims never question Islam and are blind followers and are taught to never question anything and are blind followers as a result. But because we do question things and have a deeper understanding of Christianity bc it isnt something we were just forced to know, we can show them the right way! And the fact that someone else finally told us to question Christianity to find more answers was so reassuring and nice to hear! I think I can dedicate my Sunday nights every week to these lectures and I’m excited to be spending more time with Amanda and maybe even going on a short term or long term mission trip! Who knows! Regardless, I’m excited.

Thank you God for blessing me with this blessed day! I am so grateful for all that you are and all you have done. Thank you.

#TEAMATCHA#

[valerybrennan]

Diversity Chic | Looking Back on 2016

I honestly cannot believe it has been 2 full years since we started the Diversity Chic journey. It has been such a joy showcasing various trends with some of my favorite people. I don’t really know if it has had an effect on anyone outside of our Diversity Chic group, but putting a body positive spin on trends is soooooo important. The world is improving in terms of what is deemed “acceptable” for various body types to wear and I’d like to think we have had the teeniest tiniest part in that. Here’s what Diversity Chic means to us:

Diversity Chic is a collaboration of Dallas bloggers showcasing current fashion trends on a variety of skin tones, hair colors, body types and heights. Each month we will feature a new trend tailored to our personalities and style.

Our focus is to explore the world of fashion in its unique, diverse, and stylish manner – one trend at a time.

And we’re not going anywhere.

(Did I get you? I was secretly hoping you were thinking Diversity Chic was over but it’s NOT, SUCKAS!) But we’re going to do things a little differently this year – before I tell you about that, a quick review of some of my favorite Diversity Chic 2016 looks.

We kicked off 2016 with a bang and this goes down as one of my favorite Diversity Chic shoots of 2016. First off, having Christian model his poncho was sooooo fun  (I mean come on, have you met the guy?!) and having menswear be a part of Diversity Chic was really important to me. I’m obsessed with every single one of our looks and I’ve been using this post as inspiration all winter long!

Click here to read Diversity Chic | Poncho Glam

One of our most loosely structured Diversity Chic posts turned out to be one of my favorites! I think this post really just shows how much we all love being around one another. We styled accessories from the Vintage House with our favorite spring outfits (mine was black of COURSE!) and sweet Nan posed with us for a photo, which is always lovely.

Click here to read Diversity Chic | Spring Has Sprung

Last but certainly not least is our post-election Diversity Chic, showcasing our own version of the power suit. I loved this one so much because not only are all of our looks FAB, there was a lot of depth and meaning behind our posts. Social justice is so important to all four of us, and I love that we were able to weave that into our Diversity Chic posts.

Click here to read Diversity Chic | Blazing a Trail

Okay okay, announcement time! Diversity Chic is honestly so much bigger than the four of us, so in 2017 we are extending the invitation to YOU. If you’re a blogger, we want you to join us on Diversity Chic days and help us show the world that your body type, personal style, ethnicity and gender can’t keep you form participating in a trend. And just to be clear, this is not limited to ladies! Our first Diversity Chic linkup will be on February 7 and we will be showcasing our favorite Valentine’s Day looks. If you’re not a blogger, feel free to participate! Just use the hashtag #DiversityChic on social media and we’ll find you Mark your calendars, y’all!

Make sure to check out posts from Stephanie, Denise and Sevi. I’m dying to know what their favorite looks are, too!

So that’s where we are! 2017 is here to stay and so is Diversity Chic!

xoxo Valery

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