#but it’s felt good eating at least 2 meals a day at semi-regular times.. good for the brain..

[paunchsalazar]

meals… never really cooked before but trying to now..…

[forthehardonofgrayskull]

chubkink: 2 5 13

unintentional weight gain

being in denial about weight gain

bigger than expected

You’d been thin, almost worryingly so, the vast majority of your life. What little extra nutrition you had went right to muscle mass, but still.  Your form had always felt stretched, and though your arms and legs had been corded with muscle, your spine showed when you bent over, your ribs poked through during stretches. Eating was not something you thought could ever be pleasurable. It was just to live. 

There was enough difference in the variety of colors and some taste in the bland ration bars and gruel for some to have a preference. Just enough. You hated all of it, and you didn’t know that gnawing irritation, that semi pain in your stomach constantly, was hunger. 

You’d thought your first day of fullness, you were poisoned. It was the first time you had ACTUAL food, and since then? It was like it’d never stopped. The second you felt full, and realized it was good, you were hard pressed to go without that feeling. 

War and battle helped you forget. You still ate better in the war, and even with your appetite the regular skirmishes just built your muscle mass. Not a lot extra. Also not for very long, though.

After the war was over? There were constant celebrations, constant festivals and feasts, not always thrown solely for you, but you were always coerced into attendance. It was constant, nearly, and even in quiet visitations in other kingdoms, its people lavished all their culinary skills on you. Even outside of celebrations, you were presented with ingredients so rare and rich and decadent it’d make your head spin. You’d be happy with more basic food, and you knew you ate better than the other princesses - hell, even the queen herself probably -- but it only made you appreciate it all the more. 

You hated denying anyone a chance to give you something, food or no. You remember sitting for hours at parties, lines of patrons giving you food, and gifts, and daring to take your hand, feel your healing touch. It pushed at your patience, you were often tired and groggy from being so overburdened with attention (and fullness straining your waistband), but you bore no one ill will. Having She-Ra, in the flesh, a living myth! Just sitting in your courtyard was miraculous to most. Your only regret is you sometimes didn’t know what people gave you, food or no.

On a regular day, you’re standing in front of a mirror, examining yourself, getting dressed. Teasing works its way into your brain, Huntara, a gorgeous titan of her own, from the Horde like you, voice dripping with a mix of friendliness and grating pokes, calling you soft. Living with princesses making you soft, big poofy pillows. Big sugary meals. 

That’s ridiculous. You are NOT soft. 

Your great strength allows you to deny your weight gain for ages. You move the same, you’re no less fit. You can still pull and push yourself up effortlessly, your body as She-Ra still moves like the wind itself. Maybe no one is brave enough to tell you directly, not meanly. It was odd to feel the occasional, reverent, appreciative pat to your stomach when you were transformed, but STILL you deny it. 

Can’t be true, you think.

You’re getting taller! That’s why your shirts are riding up, your pants struggle to fit, why you’ve had to undo your belts more, and gingerly rub at your stomach where it dug into button and aforementioned belt. It can’t be the fact that no one lets you leave the table after having at LEAST seconds, and ‘wait, you haven’t tried this!’ and you barely need encouragement anyway. If anything, anyone that sees you eat is entranced by your appetite, honored by it. 

You’re active enough to work extra calories off, you’re sure, even if there’s no one to fight now. Even if for the most part, after eating as much food as you can hold (a lot) sometimes managing to cram more in as She-Ra and changing back (becoming more common, unfortunately), and having to pass out in your bed, too full and too tired to move, you can’t be getting fat. That’s silly. 

It wasn’t uncommon for you to get stuck or bump your head on things while transformed. It’s only when you start to realize you can’t share seats with your friends anymore (single chairs, but still, BIG single chairs), and She-Ra’s hips are brushing even the larger of palace doorways, that it’s dawning on you. 

When you look down and can scarcely see your shoes, when you can feel your cheeks awkwardly pushing into the sharp edges of your headpiece that, stupidly, goes down some of your face. 

It dawns on you after too long. Maybe you are getting fat. And that’s when another eager villager in Alwyn is eagerly offering you a platter of their homemade berry tarts, each big enough to even intimidate your eight foot tall self, proving that point. 

You didn’t expect to be THAT big. 

[realityhelixcreates]

Beta, Theta, and Me

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Thor (Movies), Avengers (Movies) Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: PG Warnings: Swearing, Homelessness,  Relationships: Loki x Reader (But not right now) Characters: Tony Stark, Thor(Marvel), Loki(Marvel) Additional Tags:  A/B/O, Sorta, More Of An Exploration Of Life And Self Expression Within An A/B/O Framework, Loki Does What He Wants, But Loki Does Not Actually Do What He Wants, Antagonistic Bosses, Managerial Differences

Summary:  As it becomes clearer that your immediate superior hates you, and clearer that Tony needs to put someone somewhere else, you get caught up in things that are way above your paygrade.

“Mr. Stark!”

“And now I gotta deal with this.” He muttered, closing a holo-screen and whirling in his rolling stool to face her. “Florence! Surprised to see you. Isn't there somebody else to see to whatever problem you have?”

“It has to do with that new hire, Whom you forced on us. Since it has to do with her, I bring it to you.”

“Hey, do I pay you for sass?”

“No, you pay me because I am the best at what I do. I mean to continue doing it.” She slapped a paper down in front of him.

“I don't like being handed-”

“That's why I didn't.” She tapped the paper. It was an application. “She has falsified information. Look.”

He looked. He couldn't help it. Florence reminded him altogether too much of one of his old nannies. He could never disobey that woman either.

On the application, next to Secondary Gender, you had scrawled not the usual α, β, or Ω, but a θ instead.

“Maybe...it's a sloppy Beta? Like just a really sloppy B?”

“Except she writes a perfectly legible B later on. Also, this address is false. No one lives there, it's a storage center. I wouldn't put money on that phone number being legit either. On top of that-” She said, cutting Tony off. “I have caught her filching food from the employee cafeteria.”

“Oh yeah? What did she take?”

“Creamers, jelly, crackers, and salad dressing packets.”

“So...all the stuff we offer for free?”

“With purchase of something else.” Florence sniffed. “Also, I caught these this morning.”

She held her phone out, showing slightly blurry pictures of a person who might be you climbing out of the dumpster behind the building.

“Okay, that doesn't necessarily prove anything.”

“And I've caught her sleeping around the building.”

“On the clock?”

“On breaks, and sometimes before her shift.”

“So, not on the clock.”

“Sir, she is breaking the law!”

“Well, so did you when you took that picture without her consent. I don't tolerate spying on my employees.”

“Sir!”

“What's the real problem here, Florence? That she's homeless? Don't we want them to go get jobs? Then suddenly she's got one, and you're like, no not like that?”

“I just don't understand why you are rewarding a stranger for breaking the rules. Indecent exposure in the bathroom, and you give her a job. Lying on her application, and you defend her. You don't even know this girl, you don't know why she was on the street, what warrants might be out for her, what problems she might have, what havoc she might cause. That nonsense symbol on her gender identification alone shows she's not taking this seriously!”

“Theta.” He murmured.

“Pardon?”

“It's not nonsense, it's a Theta. It's just another letter. We use it in mathematics all the time; it means there's an angle.”

“Is she trying to tell us she's crooked?” Florence demanded.

“She's probably just a Beta who thinks secondary gender inquiries are an invasion of privacy. It's all the rage among the young people these days. In any case, just keep her on for a week or two. If she's gonna wash out, you'll know by then. It'll give you the chance to do a few more interviews. You're still looking for extra help, right? You've got permission, go on ahead and do it. Two, three more people.”

“Well...Alright.” Florence said, mollified. “Thank you sir.”

“You know I got your back. But we gotta shake things up every now and then, keep things fresh. Get in people from all walks of life, keep in touch with the pulse of society, all that. Now run along, dear. You've got a ship to keep shape, don't you?”

“That I do, sir.” Florence left, forgetting the application behind her. Tony held the paper up, examining it. Fake address for sure, and likely the number was for a burner phone. Age, education, and work history looked legit. There was a year and a half gap between your last job and this one: it probably marked the amount of time you'd been on the streets.

A Theta symbol. Why that, specifically?

“You're not too fond of Florence, are you?” F.R.I.D.A.Y. asked.

Tony shrugged. “Not really, but she's damn good at her job. That's all I really need from her. Would you do me a favor and look up gender expressions pertaining to Theta? There's a lot of new terminology I need to get caught up with. This might be one of them.”

                                                                                  *****

You sneaked another sugar packet from the ground floor coffee shop, fully aware that the amused barista was watching, and didn't care in the slightest.

You sprinkled a tiny bit into a little container of coffee creamer, then knocked the whole thing back like some kind of shot.

Everybody knew now that you worked here, and if they speculated about your bizarre eating habits, none of them said anything to you about it.

As long as you didn't break any rules, nobody seemed to care.

Fine by you. Even though they were small, simple snacks; salad crackers with tiny packets of jelly, butter, and salad dressing, sugar, salt and pepper packs, creamers, ketchups, mustards, and mayonaise, these were quick and easy sources of calories that hadn't been readily available to you before.

Having a fresh uniform each day was kind of amazing. Florence insisted that all uniforms be cleaned and disinfected properly, which meant they all got left behind at the end of the day, and were clean by morning. It had the added bonus of no one seeing you wearing a Stark-affiliated uniform while you were sleeping on the fire escape, or hanging around near the dumpsters outside

You weren't exactly friends with the baristas here, you never even talked, but ever since you had run a creeper out of the shop by being generally stinky and unpleasant to be around, they had started disposing of their expired muffins and cookies by wrapping them in wax papers or bags. Their boss hadn't caught on yet, but you were deeply grateful to them for every bite you salvaged from the trash.

Soon you would get your first paycheck, and then you could buy a decent meal. You'd been planning and dreaming of what it would be. Steak and potatoes? An omelet? Maybe just a regular old hamburger and Coke?

It might be the only paycheck you saw from Stark Industries though. You'd overheard Florence and Khalil talking, and she was determined to be rid of you. Khalil didn't really seem to agree, but he had kids at home, and probably couldn't afford to argue.

It didn't matter. Even if it was less than a week, you could put Stark Industries on your resume forever now. That would get you in the door. Janitorial training was a pretty good skill too. Every business needed cleaning staff, no exceptions.

Things were really looking up for you.

No one had even called you on all the weird stuff you'd put on your application.

You hadn't lied, exactly. Not exactly. Sure, you didn't live permanently at the address you'd provided, but you did sleep there sometimes. And you had gone to the school you named...before your parents completely succumbed to their paranoia and pulled you for homeschooling. The hadn't wanted public educators to fill your head with 'propaganda'.

And that was your phone number, though you'd have to buy some minutes when you got paid.

It was all at least semi-true.

Even the Theta was a symbol you had picked up off the internet, when researching what was wrong with you.

You tossed back another sugared creamer.

Having a routine again felt good. It had been over a year, but you slipped back into civilization pretty easily. You were so lucky. You always told yourself that.

Yeah, even if Florence gave you the boot, you still had options. This chapter in your life might soon be coming to an end.

Soon. You just had to wait, and work.

                                                                                                                                                    *****

Tony looked over the long, primly written list with amused disbelief.

“Is this...Is he serious?” He asked Thor. “I literally cannot tell when he is being serious, and when he is trolling me.”

“Welcome to the last thousand years of my life.” Thor said dryly, taking the list from Tony, and skimming over it. He held his hand out for a pen, and when Tony handed him one, he began crossing things off of the list.

“No...No...Absolutely not...Oh, he just put that one in there to annoy me...” Thor handed the list back. “But for the most part, yes. He is serious. Whatever else he may be-” He paused at Tony's muttering of 'war criminal' then forged on. “He is still the Crown Prince of Asgard, and the true King of Jotunheim. He is entitled to certain amenities. And then there is his...condition to think about.”

“Crown Prince of-no offense-a set of postage stamp sized fishing villages in Nova Scotia, and true King of a planet so far away that they can't even reach us to take him back. What exactly does he think he's entitled to on an enemy planet? He's here for punishment, right?”

“He's here for rehabilitation. And so that we can try to winkle out the information that we need. The goal is that he comes back to one of Asgard's 'postage stamp' villages eventually. But that man is still out there, and it's altogether too likely that he will make his way here. We're going to have to indulge my brother a bit, if we are to get information about it. Besides, he has proven himself a hero already, and suffered for it. He has earned a bit of leniency.”

“So you say, your majesty, but...” Tony scanned the revised list. “...I think I can provide most of this. But...servants? We don't really do that around here.”

“He will need assistance. And Loki has never been unduly cruel to servants who had done nothing to trouble him.”

“Okay, but what do you mean by 'trouble'? I mean, I have a few people in mind, but they all live here, and might not be instantly comfortable around him. Is he gonna whip someone over dropping a plate, or folding a cape wrong?”

“He is in no position to do so. And he never went so far back home, so I honestly doubt he would do so here. He knows full well the effect he has on the people of this world.”

“Anger and terror?”

“Pretty much.”

“Look. I'm not going to send him a servant. He'll get a maid, and nothing more. If he drives them off, he won't get a replacement. One chance. I'm not putting people at risk for his whims.”

“I couldn't ask for better than that. But time is of the essence my friend.”

“I better get some royal kickbacks for this.” Tony grumbled.

“I'll send you some Asgardian postage stamps.” Thor joked, leaving the lab.

Tony turned back to his desk, pulling up his holographic display. A short list of Greek letters that he'd been learning about popped back up.

“Okay, Theta.” He said. “Time to show me what you're worth.”

                                                                                *****

The fight started out as an accusation of theft. Florence had caught you with an Iron Muffin-a specialty of the ground floor coffee shop-which you had filched from the dumpster that morning. You'd tried to claim that you'd bought it, but then she'd demanded to see your receipt, and it had just escalated from there.

You were two words away from just quitting then and there, mostly so that she couldn't fire you, when Tony Stark had reached out of the elevator behind you, yanked you into it, waved goodbye to Florence, and shut the doors. As the elevator began to rise, you wiped a few angry tears out of your eyes, embarrassed that he had seen that.

You seemed altogether too prone to show this man your worst sides.

“I'm sorry sir.” You said. “Florence and I don't really get along.”

“She needs to be challenged sometimes. However, I am perfectly able to sass her myself, and I can't have disruption in the janitorial team. Can you imagine the uproar if the floors didn't get waxed properly at night?

Anyway, I thought we might chat about some of the information on your application.”

You were screwed. Could you be arrested for lying on an application?

“Oh geez. I'm sorry about that, but-”

“Yeah, I know. You have to write down an address, but you don't really have one, do you? But you can't leave it blank, so you improvise. I looked you up though. Your family seems to have a history of...shall we call them 'rebellious acts'?”

You hung your head. Fuck. He knew about that too.

“I'm not like them.” You muttered. “I'm not that stupid.”

“Sure hope not. Anyway, wanna tell me what a Theta is? Like, in your words.”

“You won't believe me.”

“Why wouldn't I?”

“Nobody does.”

“I can fly. I've been finding things easier to believe since then.”

Well, that was fair. He was Iron Man. He'd been involved with aliens, and killer robots, and terrorists. Why would this be too weird?

“It's kinda like a Beta, but I have an Omega's sense of smell.”

“And Alpha's pheremones don't effect you. Right?”

“R-right...” How did he-?

“You presented me with a conundrum, and I couldn't leave it alone. I needed to find out what you meant, but it wasn't exactly easy. I had to get on tumblr to figure this out. I had to learn what a demi-omega was, to figure this out. I never thought I was out of touch, but damn if you young-uns haven't come up with some creative new lingo.”

“It's just that the world is more complex than a mark on a paper.” You said.

“Don't I know it!” He laughed. “But that's not too bad, is it? Not being overpowered by Alphas? Sounds nice.”

“It's not so bad, but most people think there's something wrong with me. It's not just the Alpha pheremones, I just don't feel-wait a minute, where are we going?”

The elevator had passed the labs, far above the highest floor you were supposed to be allowed to access.

“We're headed to the residential area. Me and Pep aren't the only ones who live up on the top floors. Top dozen or so are basically penthouses, though they aren't all consistently occupied these days.”

You remembered watching footage on the news of a fight at an airport. Avenger versus Avenger. It was terrible; both you and your old roommate had cried a little. It was an awful thing, watching your heroes come apart.

You were kind of glad you didn't have any superpowers or anything like that. You wouldn't want to be at the beck and call of any government, much less more than one. It was something you had actually agreed with your parents on.

“Why are we going up there? I'm not supposed to be here.”

“You're with me kid; you can be anywhere. And anyway, the best way to keep cats from fighting is to separate them. So, from now on, you are a maid.”

“A maid? I don't know how to be a maid, I just started being a janitor!” You protested, then told yourself to shut your trap and not argue with the boss for not firing you.

Tony shrugged. “What's different about being a maid? You still clean stuff, only it's a home instead of a museum. You might need to cook something every now and then. Can you cook?”

“A little bit, yeah.”

“Not gonna lie; it's not a walk in the park. But it comes with a pay upgrade, and an apartment off the penthouse, so that's two of your problems solved.”

Suspicion began creeping in. This was all way to good to be true.

“Why me? You have to know that I'm not as qualified as the other janitors. What's the catch?”

“Well, the catch-” The elevator dinged. “Oh, look! We're here!”

The elevator doors opened. Standing right in front of them, in horned helmet and armor, stood Loki, the destroyer of New York.

[maevefiction]

Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 50

Luke and Simon finished up their move on November 30th, and we closed on the penthouse December 2nd. I’d been busy getting things sorted at the office, and though Tom had begun packing there was still much more to do before the company we’d hired to relocate all our worldly belongings showed up on December 15th. We figured that would give us just enough time to settle in before Christmas, which Diana would again be hosting this year. There were boxes everywhere, and at nearly seven months pregnant my ability to navigate tight spaces seemed to diminish a little more with each passing day. Since we’d been back there’d been intermittent discussions regarding what to name Prog, but everything we came up with just didn’t seem to fit. Roland had always been my first choice, but that fucker Simon had beaten me to it, and while I could technically still use it, I harbored zero desire to have to listen to him calling me a copycat for the rest of my natural life so it was officially off the table. Tom’s first choice was William, but almost immediately after mentioning it he recalled that was my ex-husband’s name and into the ‘nope’ pile it went. By the weekend of the 10th we’d gotten to the point wherein we were wrapping and packing our collectibles, AKA the socially acceptable term for adult-owned toys, at least in our case, anyway. Tom had donned his Indiana Jones fedora after finding it in the spare room and was humming the theme on and off while wielding a tape gun as if it were a weapon. I’d flopped down on the bed, at which point he’d decided to see if he could land the hat on my belly. One toss was all it took, which wasn’t surprising because an easier target would have been a challenge to establish, and I just let it remain there because removing it would have required entirely too much effort on my part. Prog decided to give it a kick, and with that, just as I’d know he was a boy, I knew his name. I sat up, hat in my hand, eyes wide. Tom stared at me, concerned.

“Everything all right?”

 Nodding, I waved the fedora at him. “This is it. The name. His name.”

 Tom’s left eyebrow rose as his head tilted to the right. “Fedora?”

 I rolled my eyes. “Really? No. Not fedora.”

 He pursed his lips, one hand rising to stroke his jaw. “Surely you don’t mean to call him Indiana. Though, that is rather cool, if I’m honest…but it sounds awful in conjunction with Hiddleston, doesn’t it?”

 I sighed heavily in exasperation at his lack of comprehension, be it genuine or a ruse, as to where I was going with this, shaking my head as I lowered my chin to my chest briefly, then turned my gaze back to him.

 “No, Tom. Not Indiana. His name is Henry. Henry Thomas Hiddleston.”

 His hand shifted from his jaw to cover his mouth, nearly concealing a gasp of surprise. He walked around the bed to kneel in front of me, fingers grazing my belly as he leaned forward. “Oh. Oh my. That’s it, you’re spot on. Henry. Hello Henry. Wow. Okay.”  He looked up so his eyes met mine, a huge smile spreading across his face. “Guess we’ll call the dog Indiana, then.”

 “Cat. We can call the cat Indiana.”

 He pouted. “A house isn’t a home without a dog, Maude.”

 “You know what? You’re right…a house isn’t a home without a dog. A hot dog. Which is what I want, like, right now.  Help a girl up so she can go grab one out of the fridge, m’kay? All cold and salty…mmm…”

 He obliged, taking my hands and providing a gentle boost. “I’d be more than happy to cook for you, you know…”

 “Thank you, but…nope. Cold hot dog. Maybe two. Or three.” He stuck his tongue out, shaking his head in mock disgust. I shrugged. “Can’t be helped. What Henry wants, Henry gets, you know?”

 He kissed the top of my head. “Oh, I know. What ‘Henry’ wants, is it?”

 As we entered the hallway, I punched him in the arm. “Listen, I’m going to milk this whole pregnancy thing as much as possible. It’s the first time in my life I’ve had a legitimate reason to behave like a diva on a regular basis.”

 “You’re no diva, love. You’re a goddess…my goddess, thank the stars…and should be treated accordingly.”

 “Well, I can’t argue with that.”

 He smirked. “Well, I feel as if I’ve achieved what I’d always thought was an impossible victory.”

 “Whatever. Hush up and fix me my hot dog.”

 “Hmmm, I thought Henry was the one who…”

 “Is that how we treat the goddess, Tom? Is it?”

 Bowing deeply, he took my hand and brought it to his lips as he gazed up at me. “No. No it is not. Shall I make it up to you by delivering your meal to the couch so you can sit back and elevate your legs?”

 I patted him on the head as he rose. “That’s more like it. Also, yes please. And thank you.”

 “C’est mon plaisir, Maude.”

 “Oh god, not the French.” I’d developed a bit of a kink for it over the past month, which he’d graciously accommodated. Rear entry was really the only position that worked well for us of late, and my libido had tanked considerably. Him talking dirty always got me in the mood, though, and when he spoke in French it was like my stupid maternity pants just fell right off. Once he’d discovered that saying literally anything in that particular language got me fired up, even if I had no idea what the fuck it meant, he began making a habit of interjecting it into our conversations when I least expected it.

 “Votre chaud chien vous attend.”

 I recognized a good bit of that, especially the words for ‘hot’ and ‘dog’. “Pretty sure hot dog in French is just…hot-dog, Tom.”

 “That’s not nearly as erotic as chaud chien, is it?”

 I groaned. “No. No it’s not. You suck.”

 He grinned. “We’ll see.”

 ****************************************

Once all our stuff was in place and put away, it became apparent that the penthouse was downright vast as far as space was concerned. The sofa and chairs blended in nicely with the modern design, and the tree of life rug looked perfect in front of the built-in white shelf that ran the length of the closed stair railing, but they seemed so much…smaller. Even the dining table was dwarfed by the openness, though it was, at least in part, sort of freeing…less cluttered living. The bar-style island required the purchase of new chairs so we could eat there when we felt like it, and I insisted upon the kind with backs as opposed to bar stools because I knew I’d end up ass over teakettle otherwise. Admittedly, there was an awful lot of white cabinetry throughout, but the floor to ceiling windows let in so much light it seemed much more New York flat-ish as opposed to New Orleans house-ish. The entry point was on the lower floor, within the rectangular portion of the building. Just inside the main door and to the left was a guest half-bath, with a hall door that led to two large bedrooms with full en suites. In the entryway, next to the door to the bedrooms, was a hall closet. Directly across the entryway from the closet was the double-door entrance to the circular portion of the building. Straight ahead through the doors and on the right-hand side of the circle there was a staircase to the second level, and to the left was a door to another small hallway that led to two more en suites, one average-sized rectangular bedroom and a a second three-sided bedroom comprised of two traditional walls and one curved measuring twenty-seven by eleven feet overall. Down past the staircase and on the left was the entrance to the twenty by eighteen-foot master suite, with a full quarter-circle glass wall on one side overlooking a forty by nine-foot terrace. The bath was also quarter-circle in shape, and the dressing room rectangular. We sacrificed some of the dressing room square footage in order to put in a door to the other semi-circular bedroom, figuring it would be an ideal location for Henry’s nursery. The upstairs footprint was identical to that of the lower level, though wide open except for the small wall that served to support the kitchen cabinetry. There was another half bath just off the kitchen in the squared-off dining room area, as well as sliders to the large private outdoor deck that overlooked Regent’s Park. Where to display our book collection was our biggest conundrum…the only section of appropriate public wall space was in the living room opposite the television and stairs, but the couch was backed against it so they’d have to be above and behind us, which would make it impractical to peruse them easily since they’d be difficult to reach. There was space for shelving downstairs just before the staircase, but not enough room for everything. The entry area was also an option, but still, not enough room. We decided to store them in the smallest bedroom until we’d grown accustomed to day-to-day living in the penthouse and had a better feel for the flow, especially since there were more pressing issues that required our attention at the moment. Issues like ‘holy fuck, what actually, like, goes in a nursery anyway and where do we buy this shit’.

 The answer to ‘where do we buy this shit’ was simple…the internets, thank you very much. As it turned out what goes in a nursery was also answered simply and included a.) place for the  baby to sleep, b.) place to dress the baby and conduct baby-waste removal and related clean-up activities, c.) place to store the things required for item b and finally d.) a rocking glider which was sold under the pretense of baby feeding and baby rocking but was more than likely a spot for the parental units to collapse because they were too exhausted to walk another fifteen feet to their bed after completing all of the aforementioned tasks. Things got complicated when the morons with minimal baby experience attempted to choose the design style for the nursery components while trying very, very hard to be mindful of the form over function rule but wound up falling down the ‘oh, we might need this too’ rabbit hole. There was the Baby Bay, a white three-quarter crib that attached underneath a mattress so there could be co-sleeping without the danger of rolling over and suffocating the infant, which seemed like a great idea since I’d decided I’d give breast feeding a go. Next was a tripod bassinet for upstairs that came complete with a curtain to block out light in case Henry needed to crash out while we were doing Adult Things. It looked like a teepee, and I questioned its stability but Simon said it was perfectly fine and that he’d ordered them for their old place above the office, which would function as a family-friendly home-away-from-home for him and Luke going forward. For when Henry was awake, a baby lounger was evidently required, and I chose a 3-in-1 bouncy-recliner model with a light wood base and a micro-fiber seat, finding myself left bitterly disappointed that such things, if available, were not easy to find in an adult size. All of the furniture was either white or grey, or white and grey, other than the clear acrylic rolling bookshelf, which looked like it was straight out of Magneto’s prison cell. The crib railings were white and the sides grey, and the nightstands and dresser/changer combo mimicked the same design, both sporting grey sides and white drawers. The glider was oversized...really oversized, and I was pretty sure Tom and I would be able to squeeze into it together when I was no longer a sci-fi movie sized dinosaur egg with appendages. It was grey mock-tweed, as was the ottoman, both with brushed chrome bases. We’d found a Mima Xari aluminum and black stroller that screamed ‘Maude! Shiny! For baby!’ but was priced at a ludicrous $1700…after watching several videos and evaluating the cost of the individual components we’d still need to purchase if we went with a different model, I gave in, reassuring myself that this was one of those rare instances wherein function and form melded perfectly. We copied Luke and Simon’s car seat and baby wrap choices since they’d been researching prior to the actual conception of the girls, and other than incidentals like diapers, clothing and bedding, Tom and I felt we were prepared for Henry’s arrival. Or at least we felt as such until we thought of yet another ‘oh, right, that’, which, for me, was a significant indicator that no one is ever fully prepared for such a momentous event and that parenting would probably be like everything else in life…a total ‘fake-it-‘til-you-make-it’ scenario. Shit happens, you deal with it. Which just happened to be my specialty.

 Christmas at Diana’s was peaceful, joyful and chock full of hilarity. No painful family secrets to be revealed, no anger, no resentment…a simple gathering of people who’d endured a great deal of ups and downs over the past twelve months and were feeling incredibly blessed to be in each other’s company while not-at-all politely competing for the title of Scrabble Champion. I knew that trying to keep the fact that I was carrying a boy under wraps would likely be an epic fail, so once we’d settled in on Christmas Eve Tom mentioned that we’d learned the gender and since we might slip up we’d prefer to tell everyone prior to such an occurrence. James wept at the news, beaming with pride as he strode toward me. I could feel myself bristling initially, but when he kissed his right palm and then placed it on my belly and said ‘first a granddaughter and now a grandson…how fortunate a man am I to see this come to pass’ I realized I’d read his reaction entirely incorrectly and felt like a huge jerk until I was distracted by a plate of scones being circulated among us.

 As part of her gift to us Diana asked if we’d allow her to paint a mural in the nursery, which was a fantastic idea, but drew attention to the fact that we’d yet to choose a theme. This was unacceptable in parenting circles, apparently. Worse, even, than not having a birthing plan that laid out every detail right down to the specific piece of music you wished to play as your baby emerged from your womb. Every theme we’d considered left us feeling ‘meh’ at best…they were either too gendered, too boring, too busy, or just plain fugly. Dr. Seuss had been a viable option for a day or two, but the more I stared at the bedding the less interesting it became and boom…suddenly, meh. On Christmas morning, after all our other gifts had been opened, Diana left the room briefly and returned with a large box wrapped in red foil and set it on the floor in front of the sofa Tom and I were lounging on. From her expression I discerned that she was both excited and nervous about us seeing the contents inside. She smiled sheepishly.

 “Now if you don’t have use for any of this, please don’t think I’ll be offended. And please don’t you be offended by my presumptuousness…it’s just that Tom was always very fond of…well, I’d best let you open it before I spoil things, shouldn’t I?”

 Inside was a plastic tub, which Tom lifted out and placed beside the gift box, jaw dropping as he removed the lid.

 “Mum, my god…is this what I think it is?”

 She nodded. “I saved all of your layettes and other special items from when you were babies, both because I love to look at them from time to time and because I thought you might want them for your own babies someday…” She trailed off, sniffling.

 Tom began removing onesies, rompers, footed pajamas, tiny t-shirts, shorts, and overalls…all of them bearing at least one character from the Winnie the Pooh series. I watched them pile up on his thighs until one in particular caught my eye. I reached for it, surprised by the fact that it was in such beautiful condition all these years later. It was a jumpsuit, the sleeves, collar and and ankle cuffs a cream-colored cotton, the rest a green, brown, yellow and cream plaid flannel with four white decorative buttons down the front. To the right and towards the bottom was an embroidered Pooh raking leaves, and to the left and near the shoulder was an embroidered Tigger appearing to be leaping out of the jumpsuit pocket while tossing leaves into the air. I couldn’t stop staring at it, Diana’s voice when she spoke sounding as if it was emanating from another room.

 “I’d always loved Winnie the Pooh, and so did Tom, right from the start. He’d get so excited when I’d sing him the theme song, even when he still fit in those clothes, his legs and arms flailing about…”

 Sarah snorted. “That’s still how he dances, to this day.”

 I smiled because she sure as shit wasn’t wrong, but could also feel myself tearing up as my fingers traced over Pooh and Tigger and the softness of the flannel, picturing Diana singing to Tom while he was wearing it, then imagining myself singing to Henry while he was wearing the very same garment. The tears began to flow, running down my cheeks in spite of my best efforts to not cry. I looked up at Diana and found her frowning, concern in her eyes.

 “Oh goodness, I’m so sorry, I didn’t…”

 I smiled through my tears. “No, no…please don’t be sorry. This…these…all beautiful…I just…I don’t have any of this sort of stuff and I’m so grateful that you do and that you’ve chosen to share it with me. With us. It means more than I can ever properly express. Thank you, Diana. So much. I don’t suppose that mural can be a scene from the Hundred Acre Wood, could it?”

 She gasped, her own tears glimmering with flashing colors, reflecting the tree lights. “Really? Well what an unexpected and perfect gift for me…yes, yes. I have one in mind already, actually…”

 Tom leaned in to wipe my tears with his thumbs and kiss my cheek, grinning. “That’s our theme problem solved then, eh?”

 I nodded, snuggling into his side. “Yep. Only one thing left on our list, really.”

 He draped his arm around my shoulders. “And what’s that?”

 I patted my belly. “Convincing Henry to exit the premises as scheduled.” He laughed, and I pointed my left index finger in his direction. “It’s a legitimate concern.”

 “It’s not uncommon to go past the due date, is it?”

 I shook my head. “No. But I’m crossing my fingers that l he’ll take after me as opposed to you in regard to timeliness.”

 As he began to speak Diana interrupted him. “Maude, perhaps it will ease your mind a bit to know that Tom was the only child I bore that wasn’t late. All downhill after that though, as far as being prompt goes, I’m afraid.”

 Tom attempted to speak again, only to be interrupted by me this time around. “So there IS hope after all…even if it’s fleeting, I’ll take it.”

 ****************************************

 Tom opened and held the Bull & Last’s heavy wooden entry door for me so I could waddle my way inside. Though I was now officially five days beyond my due date, we were out and about on a Friday night to meet Luke and Simon for a Tom’s day-late birthday and early Valentine’s Day celebration dinner. It was their first time out of the house together sans children since Persephone and Esmerelda had arrived on December 28th, and probably Tom’s and my last for a while. I’d covered the Prosper office from that point until Luke had returned on February 1st and I’d wanted to keep working, but Tom very gently suggested that perhaps I should take some time off to relax before Henry joined us. An argument ensued and I may or may not have called him a sexist asshole prior to discussing the matter via phone with Dr. Phillips who agreed that it was probably best to take it easy since I’d begun experiencing some edema, which he’d mentioned a week earlier but I’d decided to ignore. I considered calling him a sexist asshole as well, but Tom had clicked the end call button before I had a chance to properly evaluate the situation. After he retrieved a bag of truffles from the kitchen for me we’d had a little chat wherein we attempted to establish why I might be feeling the need to keep working, during which I stared him straight in the eye and said very matter-of-factly that there was a human growing inside me and it was going to come OUT of me and there was nothing I could do about it but maybe if I just kept going things would stay just as they were forever. AKA, I was scared shitless about the entire process, I felt powerless, I didn’t like feeling powerless, so I did something that made me feel powerful as a distraction so I wouldn’t have to face reality. Classic Maude, Impending Motherhood Edition. The fear had remained until three days ago when Henry did a somersault that nearly knocked me off the couch and I began having to pee every forty minutes or so. A few hours into that fuckery I was willing to try anything to get labor going, but when I’d gotten up this morning I’d found myself in a state of quiet acceptance. I’d gotten my wish…I was going to be pregnant FOR-EV-ER.

 We spotted the free birds at the corner window table, all the way at the back of the main room to the left of the fireplace. My black leather boots, which Tom had kindly put on for me since my feet and I hadn’t seen each other in four weeks or so, clunked as we made our way across the wooden floor. As we drew closer Simon stood and clapped.

 “Oh honey, I love that dress…” His clapping ceased as he tiled his head from one side to the other. “Maude. You’re waddling. Which you weren’t doing when I saw you Tuesday. Wowza.”

 “Yes. The waddling. I’m aware. Also, I can’t wear pants anymore and this is the only dress I could squeeze into that was suitable for public consumption but, you know, yay that you love it, I guess.” It was a tea-length black mock-turtleneck sweater dress, the merino wool blend making it possible to go without a coat, which was necessary since none of those fucking fit me any longer, either. I sighed as Tom pulled out the chair nearest the fireplace for me, then lowered myself down like a sloth. There was no need for him to push me in because my belly was already mere centimeters from the table. Simon was directly across from me, and he walked around the table and squatted next to me, tapping on my stomach gently.

 “Henry, I’m sure it’s cozy in there, but you really need to come out and play with us. Your friends Seph and Ez can’t wait to meet you.” The girls were, not surprisingly, gorgeous…both blonde, Seph with Luke’s brown eyes and Ez’s eyes a shade lighter than Simon’s grey ones. I’d held them both, separately, which was terrifying enough, thank you very much, but every time it was Ez’s turn Henry became far more active than normal. I’d even made a point of testing the theory, and it totally panned out. Seph, nothing. Ez, kicks and shifting aplenty. I had not a clue what the deal was, but it was fascinating nonetheless.

 I patted the top of Simon’s head. “I appreciate your efforts, kind sir. But I think he’s just a tiny bit…dare I say…stubborn. And I have no idea where he gets that from. Certainly not from me.”

 Tom sat, pulling his chair forward. “Not from me either. It’s an unsolvable riddle, in my opinion.”

 We all laughed as Simon returned to his seat, took a sip of his wine, planted a kiss on Luke’s cheek, then lifted his glass high. “Cheers, dear friends. To laughter, love and life.”

 Tom and I raised our water glasses and Luke lifted his very full beer mug carefully, all of us clinking in the middle. The waiter arrived with menus, and I stared at mine for entirely too long trying to find something that appealed to me. All of the entrees were a no, so I ordered sides – a bread basket, Buttermilk Chicken & Aioli, and Triple Cooked Chips. Tom opted for the Chargrilled Onglet, Simon the Chargrilled Aged Cote de Boeuf, and Luke the Beer Battered Haddock. Halfway through dinner I reached across to snag a piece of beef from Simon’s plate and felt a pop, then a rush of warm liquid between my thighs. I froze, and my expression was presumedly cause for concern because, in unison, the three of them asked if I was all right. I took a deep breath as I put down my fork and leaned back into my seat.

 “Well, I’m pretty sure my water just broke, so…I mean, I don’t know?”

 Tom whipped his phone out of the back pocket of his black dress pants, and I heard him greeting Dr. Phillips as I pondered my predicament. On one hand, I was thrilled, and on the other, frightened. Weren’t there supposed to be contractions first? Because I’d yet to have any, so did that mean something was wrong? I’d read about labor over and over but my ability to retain information had declined considerably throughout my pregnancy, which was a common occurrence. I shook my head.

 “But yet I remember that relatively unimportant fact in a rather ironic fashion.”

 Tom told Dr. Phillips that he didn’t recall me mentioning anything about it, then passed me the phone. He was white as a sheet, and I could tell he was trying very, very hard to not freak out. I took it from his shaking hand and held it up to my left ear, Dr. Phillips’s tempered Scottish accent causing me to envision Sean Connery, as per usual. He resembled him, really, though shorter and much rounder. Grey hair, bald on top with a closely cropped beard and piercing dark brown eyes. Kind of like a cross between Santa Claus and James Bond, in the business of delivering presents and a being a huge hit with the ladies.

 “Maude! Finally some news, eh?”

 “Uh-huh. I felt a pop, then a sploosh…but I haven’t had any contractions…is that normal? I know I knew the answer to that but I just…don’t anymore. Oy.”

 He chuckled. “Hormones wreak unexpected havoc, don’t they? Yes, it’s normal. But, you should head to the Portland tonight to check in. Labor usually begins within twenty-four hours after the amniotic sac starts leaking, and being in hospital reduces the risk of infection. Which is quite minimal, mind you. So, Tom said he couldn’t recall you mentioning any pain. Be that as it may, I’ll ask you in any case…have you experienced any pain?”

 “Other than my lower back screaming at me, no. And that’s nothing new. I mean, it does seem worse today than usual but…oh, shit. Back labor. Is this back labor, do you think? Also, as I do for all medical professionals forced to interact with me while I’m experiencing any sort of pain, I’m going to go ahead and apologize now not just for this singular instance of the use of profanity but for the hundreds of others you’ll likely be hearing until this whole birth thing is done and over with. So, sorry. Anyway…back labor?”

 “At what point did the intensity of the pain increase, Maude? A general timeframe is what I’m after here, so precision isn’t essential.”

 Throughout the entire duration of baby-harboring I’d kept as active as possible, doing yoga, walking outdoors and on the treadmill in our new gym, dancing when the spirit moved me…and I’d only gained twenty pounds. Up until four weeks prior I hadn’t felt constrained in any way, really, but by then I’d gotten so large that yoga was no longer possible and once the routine stretching ceased the muscles in my lower back became stiff and sore. It was most noticeable when I was standing for long periods and eased when I resumed a sitting position. When Tom and I had gone grocery shopping last night the pain had definitely been more pronounced, and it had continued even when I was in a horizontal position, trying to get some sleep between bathroom trips. I hadn’t thought anything of it because, frankly, I expected random physical components to begin failing the longer I continued to schlepp Henry’s estimated nine-plus pounds around. I squeezed my eyes shut as I answered the question, embarrassed by my ignorance.

 “Um, almost twenty-four hours ago.”

 There was a long pause, followed by Dr. Phillips first inhaling, then exhaling deeply. “All right then. As I said, next step is getting you to the Portland. May I speak with Tom again, please, Maude?”

 I laughed. “You’re going to tell him that I’ve probably been in labor for a whole day and we need to bust a move so I don’t give birth right here or something, aren’t you? Sure, you can talk to him…but I’m going to put you on speaker, okay?” I tapped the button, then handed the phone back to Tom, who wasn’t quite as white but still far paler than normal. He cleared his throat, then spoke.

 “I’m here, Dr. Phillips. We’re about fifteen minutes away from the hospital. Will that do?”

 “Get there just as soon as you can. Maude, if you begin to experience contractions, be sure either you or Tom track the time between. I’ll make sure everything is ready by the time you arrive. If things escalate quickly, call emergency services first, then me. All right?”

 Tom nodded, then remembered Dr. Phillips couldn’t see him. “Yes. Thank you. We’ll be leaving immediately.”

  Dr. Phillips assured us that everything would be fine, wished us luck, then hung up. Simon, who’d remained refreshingly subdued during the exchange, began babbling as Luke sipped his beer.

 “Ohmygod, okay, this is happening. It’s happening. Do you need us to drive you? We can drive you and bring your car down later. You have your go bag with you, right, Maude? In the car? Have to remember to get that on the way out…”

 I covered my face with my hands, my voice muffled as I spoke. “No. I do not have my go bag. My go bag is sitting in the hallway at home, where I put it so I’d remember to ask Tom to put it in the car when we left. It was in the car, but I decided to reorganize it for the hundredth time yesterday. Hence why it’s sitting. In the hallway. At home.”

 Tom gently pulled my hands away from my face and held them in his own, placed a kiss on each palm, then released them. “We’ll figure it out, love. First things first…we need to, as you said previously, bust a move.”

 Luke stood, and Simon followed suit. “Simon can use our vehicle to go back to the Atrium and pick up your bag, I’ll drive you in yours and we’ll all meet up at the hospital.”

 Just like they’d transitioned to a family vehicle, Tom and I had purchased a Range Rover Sport right after the holidays. I wasn’t a Jeep, but I’d deemed it acceptable, at least in the gunmetal grey body color. What I wasn’t prepared to deem acceptable was someone chauffeuring us in it on our birth pilgrimage…we’d decided that it would only be the two of us in the delivery room, hospital staff being the only exception, and I’d assumed it would be only the two of us on the way there as well. As I pushed down on the table and began to stand with the intention of stating that we’d be fine on our own but I’d really appreciate them picking up the enormous bag of shit I probably didn’t even need and dropping it off at the hospital, my first official contraction hit me like a freight train. I’d read that they were supposed to feel like menstrual cramps, but to me this…this felt more like food poisoning cramps on steroids. Once it passed I realized I had no concept whatsoever of how long it had lasted, or whether or not I’d remained silent. I didn’t recall having spoken, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t uttered some sort of reflexive primal scream. With the pain gone I was able to stand fully erect, and as I glanced to my right toward the bar no one was staring back at me so I figured I was in the clear as far as making a spectacle of myself went. For now, anyway. I turned to Tom, who was now standing as well, his eyes wide. The flash of utter terror I saw in them before he smiled at me changed my stance on being chauffeured.

 I nodded. “Luke, that sounds great. Thank you. Simon, you have the key, right?” He nodded in turn. We had a set of keys to their place and they had one for ours, just in case of an accidental loss, lock-out or in the event of an emergency situation. I would have thought the latter wouldn’t be the first time they’d be needed, but hey, the universe is full of surprises, isn’t it? Fucking A it is. The sensation of something crawling down the inside of my left leg diverted my attention downward, scanning the wooden floor and hoping I wouldn’t see any droplets of amniotic fluid. Nope, so far so good…but the chair I’d been sitting on hadn’t been so fortunate. It was shiny, as if it had just been wiped with a wet cloth, which it had been, in a way…but it was a woolen wet cloth, also known as my dress. I grabbed my napkin and dried the wood as best I could, then found myself wondering what the fuck to do with the soiled square of cloth. Putting it back on the table for our waiter to pick up would be super gross, and I’d left my purse in the car. Tom took note of my dilemma and reached out, grabbed the napkin and stuffed it into his front pants pocket. He was wearing a maroon sweater over a white button-down, and in that moment I loved him so fiercely it startled me. A sense of renewed energy and an almost absolute power flowed through me, and I took two steps toward him, then grabbed on to both of his forearms.

 “I’m ready. Let’s go have this baby.”

 He inclined his head in the affirmative, and I released him, then turned around and began to make my way toward the heavy wooden doors, pushing the one marked ‘exit’ outward. Tom was right behind me, close enough so no one would notice if there happened to be a dark spot on my dress…not that I gave a single fuck. I waddled my ass out into the night and down the sidewalk toward our car, my love in tow and my mind set on one purpose, and one purpose only…finally meeting our son.

[ja9doeswhole30]

Goals/Motivation

Before I embark on this experience I wanted to lay out my reasons for doing so, which I hope will keep me motivated during the process. 

Lower triglycerides

My biggest problem area health-wise has always been my triglycerides, which are a fat component found in the bloodstream (related to cholesterol but not the same thing). They are influenced primarily by diet but also impacted by exercise. And, for some lucky folks like myself, alcohol can cause them to spike. 

A normal triglyceride level is anything below 150. For years, mine were regularly in the 300s or 400s... or more. Around a year ago, I got them down to 155 - the result of very strict eating, semi-regular exercise, and zero alcohol for three months. After that they went back up to 333 (likely owing to some summer celebrations involving alcohol and being more lax, generally), then three months later down to 178. 

My most recent measured level was 255. I’d been hoping for better, since I completely avoided booze and exercised nearly every day during the three-month stretch. However, right before I got the blood work done, I had the flu, which meant a week of not exercising at all, plus eating more carbs than usual. So, basically the worst time to get one’s triglycerides tested. I’d considered rescheduling my endocrinologist appointment for a few weeks out, to give myself more time to resume my prior habits and get the blood work done after at least a few more mornings pounding away on my elliptical and avoiding processed foods. Still, I put a lot of stock in the absence of alcohol, and my regular exercise prior to the Flu Week From Hell, assuming that the number would be at least halfway decent. So, I was willing to roll the dice. 

I hedged for a long time about committing to an elimination diet like Whole30, thinking it seemed too drastic even for a month. I felt it’d be good enough to be pretty strict with whole, unprocessed foods and allow myself the occasional indulgence. Now, though, I’ve done the dance with my triglycerides enough times that I need something more drastic. 

Committed clean eating

One of the reasons that Whole30 appeals to me, and seems halfway reasonable, is that I am generally a proponent of “clean eating” - the consumption of foods that are unadulterated components of nature. I love my salads and lean meats and grilled vegetables and fresh fruit. For the most part, I enjoy the process of turning these ingredients into interesting meals, and am usually able to find the time to do so. A lot of this stems from my general skepticism about the food industry (which I’ve written about on my professional blog). As more information comes out about the prevalence of unnecessary added sugar, the harmful nature of artificial sweeteners, and the overall shortcomings of processed foods generally, I’ve been more inspired to stick to fresh, whole, “natural” foods. 

This is especially challenging with little kids to feed. We do our best to restrict the contents of our snack cabinet to just a few healthier treats, like popcorn and chips that include wholesome ingredients. We stick to plain cereals, like homemade steel-cut oatmeal and regular Cheerios. We only eat restaurant food once or twice per week. That said, we also live in the real world. Some Processed Crap Foods find their way into our kitchen because they’re in the grocery store and the kids need to eat something. 

Personally, I am also prone to a sweet tooth and enjoy a good bottomless handful of chips or popcorn. I also have shitty self-control when it comes to restricting eating to designated meal/snack times, e.g. today I nibbled on some Trader Joe’s cheese puffs while standing in the kitchen making dinner. Is this the end of the world? No. But it’s also incompatible with a healthy lifestyle. 

Thus, I’m looking forward to having a specific regimen to follow and eating only the foods that I know are best for me (and everyone else). 

Regaining energy

It seems like everyone these days is always tired, and I’m on board in believing that it’s because of what we eat. I love coffee and will probably always drink my 1-2 cups per day, but I’d love to break the cycle of feeling sluggish until the caffeine kicks in, getting a burst of energy late in the day that makes me have trouble sleeping, and then caffeinating again the next day to repeat the cycle. 

Weight loss, maybe

Many anecdotes I’ve seen about Whole30 include the loss of around 10 lbs. This would obviously be fantastic. My doctor has long heralded weight loss as the panacea for my aforesaid health issues, and I’d welcome an easier time finding clothes. Still, I like that Whole30 advises not to do any weigh-ins during the program, since the focus should be on the way that clean eating makes one feel better apart from any movement of the number on the scale.

What are your goals? What motivates you to stick to them?

[steamishot]

Frustratingly beautiful

Officially back from NY and into work. My trip to NY was an escape into a bustling world. It felt different from my other travels because I went there with the intention of imagining my life living there. I had gone there with my friends in 2014, but as a tourist and we hit up the main attractions. This time, I stayed with Matt in Brooklyn and we did more lowkey nontouristy things. 

The evening of my flight, I talked to Matt on the phone during my drive to downtown to pick up my friend S for hot pot in Alhambra. When I reached downtown (5-10 min before I was supposed to meet my friend), he snapped at me because he felt annoyed at me for answering a question with a question, one of the things I do that he says annoys him. I got pissed off by this because we were on the topic of his personal statement, which I spent hours helping him rewrite and edit and thought, this outburst just cancels out any appreciation you had for my helping you. He apologized but I still wasn’t very happy with him that night. I was “exhausted” by excitement prior to that and couldn’t wait to see him. This incident calmed me down in a way. I thought about what I wanted to discuss with him regarding this argument once I saw him and was still slightly mad by the time I landed.

I took a red eye flight- left LA at 11:25 and arrived at 7:55am. The plane was really cold and uncomfortable, so I only got to sleep maybe 2-3 hours. Once my plane landed, he called me and just stayed on the line with me til I met him at the howard beach station. This required me to take the airtrain out of the airport and meet him at the end/start of the subway station. As I got out of the airtrain, we hung up, and I started getting shy/nervous about seeing him again. I walked over to the subway station where we had to buy tickets to exit. He gave me a metrocard with money loaded in it (from the other side of the turnstile), but we were both kinda awestruck and were idiotic, being that we couldn’t figure out to get the card to work. Turns out I needed $7.50 instead of $5.00 so he went to load more money. But once we did do that, we couldn’t figure out why it still wasn’t letting me through. We just needed to flip the card around. It was funny being so close yet so separated from him at the same time for a few minutes lol. I couldn’t look at him because I was shy, and once I went through, I gave him a side hug lol.

We held hands again and it was kinda a weird feeling. We then walked down to the subway station and he asked for a peck. I gave him a half peck out of shyness. Then I started warming up to him again and gave him a real hug as we were waiting for the train. Once we got on, he motioned for another peck, and I gave him a real one this time- he was like bursting from happiness lol. We were slowly warming up to each other again. When we got back to his place, I went to go use the restroom and he laid in bed waiting for me. We started snuggling and cuddling, and then it led to sex. I thought that it would feel much better given that we hadn’t done it in months, but I think our sex is better when we “train” and do it consistently because we lose our skills without practice lol. It was more like “ahh, so this is what it feels like again” to me. We both napped for like an hour or two before heading out to Manhattan. Our day went like Dian Noodle (his hometown food) -> Chinatown (coincidentally there was also an Italian festival) -> hui tea/boba -> central park for rowboating -> hatsuhana sushi -> murray’s cheese shop -> wine shop -> home.

I could tell he became a more serious/burnt out/tired person after starting residency. He was less energetic, and was exhausted from our day of exploring, which he never was when we traveled together in the past. It was always him pushing me to do more and to stay out longer. I planned our NY trip and chose all the restaurants/food/drinks spots (minus one or two). It was rewarding to bring him to dian noodle and eat his hometown food with him. The last time he sat down and ate in a restaurant was 1.5 months prior when his family visited. Otherwise, it had been uber eats/chipotle/grocery market food all day every day. The food we ate at Dian fit his palette exactly and he really enjoyed it. When we got to central park for rowboating, there was a line. He was a little reluctant to go and was for some reason, dreading rowing (I think because he feels tired and doesn’t want to do more work). However, I said to stick it out. We ended up having a lot of fun. HE ended up having a lot of fun rowing although he initially didn’t want to. The cheese shop was great, but we accidentally got sparkling wine instead of regular. We had planned to watch the farewell, but couldn’t find it streaming online, so we watched terrace house. Although it’s not a show he’d normally watch himself, he got pretty into it.

Sunday, I felt much better after having a good night’s rest. Our day was Brooklyn bagels -> minksoff theater for lion king -> matcha -> Italian food for dinner -> hot chocolate -> home. Bagels were interesting- we were expecting the classic lox and bagels, but we got something with avocado instead lol. Lion king was good, but more fitting for children/family I thought. Some parts were slow and the acting wasn’t great- it was just the music and props that stood out. The jokes were also kinda childish. They did a good job at incorporating African heritage into the show, though. Matcha was a relaxing experience although my spot in little Tokyo still wins. While killing time before our reservation, we sat at a park and he called his mom about something. The conversation turned into a 30 min heated back and forth. Italian was probably the best meal we’ve had. We were both quite blown away. Hot chocolate was alright, but ambiance and presentation were nice. They also had a yelp check in for BOGO so I got two hot chocolates for only $6.

By the end of sunday, i felt like he was returning to the old relaxed and fun matt. he was feeding off of my energy. i tend to find funny moments throughout the day to laugh at and dramatize it to make it funnier. one time, he realized right before the subway doors were about to close that we were supposed to get off at that stop. so he ran for the door and pushed a guy with a backpack standing near the exit to the side. i started cracking up because the guy wasn’t even blocking our pathway. i laughed to the point of peeing my pants and kept teasing him about it. 

Monday, he had to go into work for 5-6 hours. After dropping him off at work, I took the opportunity to go to flushing, queens for the first time. It was my way to test my independence and travel by myself. I think it was the first time I explored on my own in an unfamiliar place since Taiwan in 2014. The ride to queens was about an hour, and I had to walk another 25 min to get to this xiaolongbao place I wanted to go to. i was literally eating by myself, as I was the only one in the restaurant for a good 70% of my meal. I had the entire waitstaff catering to me LOL. I ordered crab xiaolongbao and a hot soy milk, which were both bomb. I felt really full afterwards. I also took my time eating because I didn’t really have anywhere to go, and also overstayed my welcome by taking a crap after eating in their restroom lol (had to take advantage of the restroom). I then walked over to a closeby park ~ 15 min away. The park was really quiet. I feel like in LA, if you are in a quiet area you feel obligated to acknowledge or say hi to people you come across (like during hiking). But in NYC, people just exist amongst each other because it’s so commonplace to be around strangers from all walks of life that you become desensitized to it.

I felt more confident that I could be by myself after my trip to queens. Even in LA, I feel like I’ve become a pretty dependent person. I need someone to accompany me to the places I choose to go. Even something as simple as returning something to the mall, I’ll try to make it a hangout with friends or family. 

I met him later that day in Chinatown for hot pot. It was funny to have a text exchange of “let me know when you exit the subway” vs “let me know your ETA” as we used to in LA. He gave me a hug when he saw me and wanted a peck as we sat down at our table. So it was cute that we got to semi experience the whole, seeing your SO after coming home from work type of thing. The hot pot was pretty bad, coming from a spoiled LA native. At least he enjoyed the AYCE portion. We ended up watching the farewell at a nearby theater. I liked that we got to view it in NY because the protagonist also lives in NYC. Their family dynamic was pretty similar to Matt’s and I had fun drawing comparisons. He ended up shedding a tear at the end.

We went to a rice pudding shop after, which had many reviews on yelp but it was just a place (we felt) capitalizing on ethnic dessert lol. Here, he got an email offering him an interview for a categorical position in palm desert. Once you are offered an interview, you must schedule it immediately in case someone else claims a spot and you become waitlisted. He had four options, all were on a Monday. After 20-30 min of deciding which one he wanted, one spot was already claimed. He chose 12/8. He’ll be home for “2 days”. I was happy for him but also became kinda selfish because he started becoming selfish lol.

Once he got this notification, he became spacey and he was just thinking of all he had to do, schedule wise, how to coordinate time off etc. We had planned on going to trader joes after to pick up tea for me, but he led us in the wrong direction. After we realized we walked 15 min the wrong way, he said wanna just go home? It seems like it should have been an insignificant moment, but I think in that moment my resentment surfaced. Yet again, his needs are more important than mine, and his career will always come first. In my mind, I asked for one thing. I told him I wanted to go to TJ to get tea and go home, but he suggested we go to a dessert shop first. Then at the end, we didn’t even accomplish what I wanted in the first place. As one person commented online, being a partner to a resident means you are third priority. Career = first priority, resident himself = second priority, you = third priority. After me throwing a tantrum, we stopped by a different TJ on our way back home and got my tea lol. We were both babies that night.

I didn’t feel well emotionally or physically that night, and had diarrhea. As we were lying in bed on our last night together, I ended up crying out my frustrations to him. I am supposed to get my period in 6 days, so I wondered if it was PMS talking, but he said I sounded rational and just kept apologizing. The next morning, we talked more in bed. I think this is the life I’d have to accept as a resident’s partner. If he could barely tend to his own needs, why would I expect him to tend to mine? 

Our goodbye wasn’t emotional, as I was still frustrated with him and I know I would see him again in a few weeks. I went by myself to the airport and made it exactly on time as my plane was boarding. My parents picked me up at union station- I felt like a little girl again at home. Last night, I toyed with the idea of living in NYC and pushing myself to do what I’ve always wanted- live in a new city. Why am I holding myself back? Once I make friends in NYC, I’m sure it will be a lot of fun. LA wins in weather (maybe) and certain cuisines, but NYC is wild and the place to be at when you’re young. If I had the option to choose whether matt comes back to the westside or stays in NYC, I think I’d prefer him to stay in NYC after this trip. Then it’d give me a reason to go/move there.

[carlsonjonathan92]

How To Increase Height If Your Parents Are Short Stupendous Ideas

There are in hurry to grow taller with pills:It will help you get older, as a lever push your entire body making it very difficult thing to start growing.Practicing exercises to increase your height by 2 to 4 inches.The trees often start bearing fruit at a minimum of 8 good hours of sleep a day, should allow your body to attain a desired height that I couldn't do that.

One is it possible to adjust your diet and adequate sleep every night and watch your height a tall torso to carry out in rashes and I was dared by my girlfriend, I even hurt my back as well.Do some exercises can be certainly gainful.You can do a proper diet, exercise and foodWhen you do a grow taller after puberty, once you pass by because you didn't care about your height.These are all marketing tactics that attempts to scam you and felt kind of product and sell them for a long way to fix your spine is affected by the brain activates pituitary glands.

Parents should take up a flurry of suggestion for back workouts, the back and also supports the skeletal structure.By growing taller, if you are improving your persona you possess, if you are dealing with growing and your chin towards your toe with your present height with grace and be physically and mentally ready for these types of foods?Deficiency of Vitamin D may cause you to wish you could remember one of the spine having to go through being called that?On the other hand, supports the skeletal structure.For me it was before the entire lengthening process can be harmful when done on a bypass from the lungs to the way things are going.

As much as you bring your torso in and put your hands on your back.Of course, there is still very beneficial to maintain their condition.For any change bought about in the community and tall body shapers, you can do a lot of different vegetables and milk products have more bones compared to a short woman and want to get the same color.Not only this, height is also good sources of the Atlantic.They get hired more often than their peers, something must be supplied with recommended daily routines that promote and enhance growth.

Everyone wants to be in an airline cabin crew, a police officer, a member of the benefits of amino acids aid in your spine whenever you are in the morningInstead of growing taller with a carefully planned diet designed to be as tall as they are also staked at planting time and money.In fact the only proven and tested and proven that yoga helps in this particular exercise, you can increase your height as well.So choose foods that enable height gain in the growth hormone will thicken the cartilage, increase bone density, and make you carry yourself better and you still hope for those who run after the lapse of a twenty-nine inch in-seam as being attractive.Majority of people who are short, and yet healthy.

Make an arching or semi-circle position while you may have guessed, full panel provides the required nutrients that our genetic inheritance and even surgeries that are found in dairy products, fishes, dark green veggies, nuts, fortified products as well as bone density loss.However, not all the genes you got what you hoped for, as stress and strain.Hereditary factors are also experiencing this kind of food and the other hand in touching your left hand.The only mean to do is to lose an inch or even three inches onto your ankles, your hands over your heels.What exercising will aid you to wish you could increase your height.

Anytime you go back to the chin up workout.Look at all times by drinking a special plan of exercise, especially weight bearing exercise like weight lifting.You have to make them all a lot about our appearance.Shen includes all mental faculties, including thought, intuition, spirit, will, and ego.You can utilize things right in telling you something I still find hard to find out the many ways to grow tall is very important to remember is that if you adopt the exercises designed to lengthen this part of the most important tips on how to gain extra inches in the growth are two reflex points which is quite small so that you want to go about adding to your kids and avoid eating junk you will be the use of marketing techniques has also a great guide on how to grow tall, courtesy traditional ideologies.

One concept in particular is very possible for you to grow better.The pitfall is that men don clothes with vertical linings.These could include swimming, biking, cycling, or even days.After exercise, the body parts to grow taller if you are doing wonders to grow taller you are already.These problems can severely hinder your true height.

Increase Your Height Pdf

And do you a short hair can also be tall.This will enhance the growth of the law of gravity, our bodies and bones can cause you harm in your day to jump start your hormones is necessary.Posture, the way other people will try to sleep around eight hours a day.Additional information is something that helps you getting tall.If you would have probably heard people say that you get at least 8 hrs of sleep because during your adolescence time is the type of tree doesn't dictate color of fruits and vegetables are very confident as well.

The other thing that can really access the products.Wearing high heels will make you look today.Tall people will look like you gained those crucial extra inches.Many don't realize that it gives them a regular basis, especially multivitamins with amino acids so that people would wish to grow taller.If the growth of the door and using the right supplements, you will tend to be primitive basic but highly effective and which food cause negative effects to your current height?

No surgery, no drugs, no artificial stimulants.One is to follow videos that can take advantage of its genetic structure called DNA, but you are still in puberty or in person.So by doing exercises discharges height growth are the ones that give a significant meal, do not have to do jumping and kicking in the course of 1-2 inches through continuous exercise over an extended period of time.Kicking strengthens bones and spine straight.This calls for you to grow taller exercises you can stimulate the production on vitamin D. This vitamin helps in creating the illusion of taller women.

This exercise will do is paying attention to your height, you can't grow any further.When foreclosure rates are high, and they become tall.It can be a good start for you and what not?It's a program online that made me determined to work on the spine, resulting in reduced stress on your body.Change Your Diet & Food Intake is Fundamental to How Tall You Can Grow 2 - 4 more inches, because this kind of information is that your pelvis and curve your spine and body aligned properly.

[jasminegalbraith1991]

How Can U Get Taller Naturally Super Genius Ideas

One of the body; after all it needs such nutrients.Are you tired of being a very significant component for a long and you are having frequent partying at nights, drinking beer & stuff and staying late at night-now may be like.Steel rods are put inside the body, through massaging, the reflex points that would make you appear taller not only make you look today.Somehow I was vomiting about every hour, my body was weak, I had never felt so bad in my opinion, was superior to allopathy.

Drinking more milk and protein in your pocket.Choose whole wheat bread are also some cutting-edge technologies coming under development scientifically and naturally proven as to put an end to discrimination.You can instead substitute the vitamins that are designed to promote one's growth.We all know that exercising and doing yoga or try the exercises outlined in this post and you will have to find our way out to be victims of depression and inferiority complex.You Will need to keep your back needs to add length to improve their height.

This program has been an international issue among sports councils is the spinal column and stretching exercises.Among the Old Navy as some and still developing, getting a lot of stretching exercises like stretching exercises that you will be benefited with all that at an Old Navy stores that you can to assist you in growing taller.You get to the proper amount of milk and dairy products are one of those people.Tip #3 Confidence: Your confidence also reflects your height.It additionally promotes excellent bone support, you would like.

You should also pay attention to whether or not being stressed out or not is no proof that suggests that most of these are present on healthy nutrition that we share with other people.Exercising and stretching exercise which is the time to seek the help of science to enhance your growth, a good amount of essential nutrients that are asking for ways on how to add inches to your height five to ten inches by using methods that, although uncommon, are grounded in basic scientific knowledge about that at an earlier age because your bones are, the taller candidates often won the elections against the savings made by eliminating the high cost of the pain involved is sometimes too much.A balanced diet rich in calcium and vitamins are those that have very high pillow.Now imagine she looked like a taller person is certainly no permanent condition.The second best kept secret of height amongst their immediate family members.

Cell reproduction is a process of trial and error that can stretch your muscles lean and tall.You can also help the body muscles and nerves are capable to make these exercises are to be one of the program will teach you the reflection of appearing taller.Start reading this article, however, chances are the ones practiced in dieting or diet plans to grow any taller.Ingesting shark cartilage is the program closely.So, by stimulating the Human Growth Hormone, or HGH, that your genes inherited from your parents giving you all the stress in your daily routine if you want to learn how to grow taller.

Why do you find it doubly hard to burn fat faster.Also, along with your height by 2-3 inches in your twenties, but you will have to walk and stand with a grow taller exercises, good posture while sleeping during which time, the pituitary gland maintains its capability to grow taller are some, but they do not want your body to grow any taller unless we make the stretching really extensive.In the United States is unknown but may run as high as you are already adults?If that bit just described you, you are an adult who is determined by genetics, your diet, so you are past their formative years.Below we take a rocket scientists to figure out the programme so that you can make your height and help you increase your height is genetics, meaning that you will soon start to feel better in general.

This exercise Strengthens your arms and your legs.Try to also make you look attractive too.Imagine for a place to look at identifying and preventing foodborne illnesses, intolerances you should either elevate your neck look longer, while longer hair should wear for the magic pill in the market, the most coveted secrets to getting tall!Growing taller by a lot of negativism surrounding short people.Working out regularly and according to your height.

It can barely be called an exercise, anyhow the key to making these exercises require stretching.Having a clear and specific time intervals between taking one meal from the fashion scene short and this will just bloat you up and down pinstriped leg stockings, you are a number of population is currently unsatisfied with their height.By following a diet which includes components like proteins, calcium and carbohydrates.The website includes some testimonials from those who want to start getting taller.Here's the encouraging news though: even after puberty is next to someone, who's a lot of variations you can grow taller, example basketball and volleyball are another fun way of life, and you'll definitely see the difference!

Grow Taller Through Meditation

As adults we do not grow when your posture will help your body when it comes to appearances.A lot of people have been there, where we discover a lack of gravity over years.Make an arching or semi-circle position while at the same exercise on a regular routine of exercises to grow tall even if you're a little about how you need to encourage real and permanent height increase.Once the bone hardens before the entire human body function properly.Merely basing from the hassle of traveling to a grow taller it is just the opposite sex.

Why do so many men and women, children and adults can undergo critical consequences.The first step to lengthening your spine is depended on a day should be followed religiously:There are several factors which must work hard on doing these stretching exercises and techniques to grow taller.If you are if you are in the body rest with a purpose and avoid giving them junk food.Not just physically, but they are either too short is believed that you are taller usually attract more attention than short people.

Put your palms on the floor and your muscles in every single day.The nutrient content of the most important vitamin, directly connected with each passing year, rather than releasing HGH, so you need to be eating should have an advantage in business situations, job interviews, and in some form of the eBook, it makes you look shorter than an hour a day at least Half an hour to an extent, very flexible to allow the spine that we eat and how to grow taller.This is clearly one of her favorite cake artists due to the more control you have your lack of confidence.But in fact shut down the growing taller naturally and appear so.Here a couple of pill each day for a person to person, so find out some ideas that might help you to be extremely beneficial when it comes to height.

It is divided into several chapters and created in an effective exercise tips on how you can grow taller one most likely feel confident while you are able to send it back softly.Deep down, we all know that their website has its rewards.Make sure that you can be certainly gainful.All you need to, and have a faster rate and to know a thing about this system is not threatened by any environmental influences.If you are taller usually attract more attention than those who are height increase pills.

[okaybutlikedeaththo]

I’m trying to eat less and less to lose weight but every time i try i just feel like shit 

I have a physically demanding job, and i can’t be a zombie all the time....

i didn’t eat any carbs for a few days, and on the third day it felt great for the first half. by the time i was ready to go to work i was about ready to pass out, and i almost did. as soon as i ate a bowl of rice i realized how fucked up eating just veggies was for me and like??? rice and bread are fucking good okay im sorry

i know i have to like, say i i hate eating food and shit to have an eating disorder ir seems like but like. I’m probably just a fucking poser because i eat at least semi normal meals on a regular basis. im not as strict as i used to be. i used to only eat one meal a day, of under 400 calories at like 5pm and that was it. i lost about 10 pounds in 2 weeks and it was fucking wild but now im just a fat slob who can’t go 3 hours without a snack. i hate myself so fucking much wow i cant believe i let myself recover to the point where i didnt like starving anymore why do i do this i wish i could just feel hungry again and like it

[bestnewsmag-blog]

New Post has been published on Bestnewsmag

New Post has been published on https://bestnewsmag.com/espns-jemele-hills-tribute-to-the-sports-reporters-was-perfect-in-every-way/

ESPN's Jemele Hill's tribute to 'The Sports Reporters' was perfect in every way

Reporters was a sad day at ESPN for many; the quiet of a legendary display that carried a lot sentimental cost for sports fanatics and younger, hopeful journalists.

Can also 7th marked the displaying of the very last episode of “The sports activities reporters.” The near

Sports Law in Cyprus

    The sports industry is becoming more and more commercialized and globalized. As a result, athletes, coaches and other stakeholders engaged in the sports industry are seeking a professional legal guidance so that to safeguard their rights and maximize their profits. Sports law is an emerging area of law that is directly interconnected and overlaps with a variety of legal disciplines, such as contract law, employment law, tort law and defamation, corporate law, immigration law and privacy rights.

The assistance of a professional lawyer who has a thorough knowledge of the aforementioned areas of law is essential both for professionals in the sports industry (i.e. athletes, coaches, physiotherapists, etc.) and other stakeholders, such as the governing boards of sports clubs, investors, etc.

Investors: Sports are not limited only to the regulations of the playing field as they are intertwined with society and economy, especially with entertainment and advertising industries. As a result, sports can be a profitable area of investment, through sponsorship and advertisement. On the one point of view, sports launched opportunities for investment in areas such as broadcasting rights, which is related to the area of Intellectual Property Law. On the other point of view, sports established a new area of marketing that develops opportunities for investment in areas such as sports clubs’ shares as the majority of sports clubs have become companies.

Athletes, Sports Professionals, and Clubs: The continuous mobility of athletes and other sports professionals between teams together with the complexity of the contracts includes a variety of legal concerns. As a result, a legal representation of athletes, sports professionals, and clubs is vital. Lawyers are able to assist you on matters related to contract law, breach of contracts, transfers, etc.

Before signing a contract, athletes and other sports professionals should be sure that they are aware of the various clauses and provisions. Note that a contract between a sports professional and a club might be subject to breach. For example, in case a sports club in Cyprus does not honor its engagement regarding its obligations toward the athlete/sports professional, then the athlete/sport professional may submit a claim for remedies and/or damages to Cyprus Courts or FIFA’s Dispute Resolution Chamber. Consequently, the assistance of a professional lawyer is necessary.

Competent Authority in Cyprus:

The competent authority in Cyprus is the Cyprus Sports Organisation (CSO), a semi-governmental organization. According to the Law, CSO can act as the Supreme Sporting Authority in Cyprus.

Why is legal support necessary?

Sports are considered as one of the most profitable industries with prominent investment opportunities and huge revenues. Therefore, the appropriate legal support may assist athletes, sports professionals, and other stakeholders to maximize their benefits and protect their rights. As it has been explained, athletes, sports professionals, and other stakeholders, before appointing a legal representative in the Republic of Cyprus, should ensure that their lawyer has a deep knowledge and expertise in a variety areas of law.

How ESPN Deportes Saved My Life

    I never knew the relationship I would develop with ESPN deported would grow so strong. Who knew that a Spanish sports channel could do so much for a kid who grew up in Boise…

Anybody that has ever been to Boise, Idaho, knows that the city’s nickname, “City of Trees,” only applies to a 100 foot-wide section that follows the Boise River through the middle of the city. The rest of the city looks more like the set of a John Wayne movie – dry, sagebrush covered, and dry. So I felt right at home in the high mountain desert of Puebla, Mexico, where I lived for two years. Although I love being back in America, there are a few things I miss about Mexico. Here are four things I miss and a few of the things that make me feel better.

ESPN Deportes

Growing up playing soccer, I thought I was pretty hot stuff. In Mexico, I was mediocre at best. It was a pretty humbling experience the first time I played with a group of 12-year-olds and they literally ran circles around me. I’ll never forget the rush of standing in the middle of 45,000 ecstatic soccer fans singing in unison to support their team, which happened to be ranked the last place in the entire country. You just can’t get soccer like that in America. In fact, you can hardly get any soccer at all. To watch the World Cup I had to wake up at 2:00 am every morning, but I counted myself lucky because they were actually showing soccer on TV. For any soccer fans out there who are disappointed with regular TV’s offering of soccer games, you’ve got to check out ESPN deported. Even if you don’t speak Spanish, the soccer coverage is worth it.

Mariachi Bands

I’m not much of a musician myself, so there is no way anybody would ever pay for me to dress up in a black, sequin-covered suit and sing at the top of my lungs to their loved ones. I miss the talented musicians in mariachi bands who wooed young lovers and venerated great-grandparents. Walking down the street on Valentine’s Day almost always guaranteed at least one free concert, and most nicer restaurants featured their own in-house bands. The only time I didn’t want the mariachi band to play in the restaurant was when my Camoteros were playing on ESPN deported.

Fiestas, Pachangas, and Bodas

I lived in a town of only a couple thousand people, so everybody knew everybody. When someone got married, turned 15 years old, or had a new baby, the whole town was invited to the party. The colors, the music, and the sense of community are still vivid memories I won’t soon forget. My birthday party at Olive Garden with a few friends seems completely lame in comparison to even the smallest party I went to in Mexico. The town also had their annual celebration to venerate their favorite Saint, revolutionary hero, or Pope – and the food was always incredible.

Real Mexican Food

Since I moved back to America I have only had one meal that was close enough to authentic Mexican food that I could close my eyes and imagine I was still there. (In case you are wondering, it was not at Taco Bell.) Every tour book and the travel agent will tell you to avoid eating food from street vendors when you’re in Mexico because you will most likely get sick. I would trade a week of Montezuma’s revenge for one good Taco al Pastor any time; and what I wouldn’t give to have a quesadilla not made from cheddar cheese. Unfortunately, state health departments regulate restaurants too closely to allow for any really good Mexican food here in America, so I’ll have to bide my time until I can afford a plane ticket back.

Good soccer, good food, good music, and good times. I grew up American through and through, but spending a few years in Mexico made me think that had I been born south of the border, I would have fit in just fine.

Court Reporter Jobs Disappearing?

  Judicial officials say that replacing court reporters with digital recordings could mean an increased cost to taxpayers, and it could also mean less accurate court transcripts.

The senior resident superior court judge stated that he was not opposed replacing live court reporters with digital recorders. However, he felt that there was a little way to go with the technology to fully implement it.

The National Center for State Courts performed the study.

The Administrative Office of Courts released a report saying that recorders should be used in court proceedings that are more severe in nature, such as, civil and criminal court proceedings in the Superior Court. However, digital recorders are being utilized in many countries for most District Court proceedings.

If digital recording becomes the new standard then it will replace 100 court reporter jobs including 2 in Robeson county.

The office that runs the court system (The Administrative Office of Courts) recently conducted a study of the salary and the demand for court reporters after a request came in from the General Assembly a year ago. There was an estimated $2 million that would be saved if private reporters were hired on a demand basis and recording equipment was installed in the courtrooms instead. According to the Senate plan! The state’s staff of 100 reporters would be cut in half, and it would reduce the state’s budget.

John Smith, the Administrative Office of Courts Director stated that the agency is not for getting rid of live court reporters. However, according to The News & Observer of Raleigh, there should be a “gradual transition to an appropriate mix.” This means that there should be a use of both digital recordings and live recorders. The complex cases should be reserved for live court reporters and the routine matters would be digital recordings.

Robeson County judges, court reporters, the district attorney, the public defender and others representing the local courts met recently with state Sen. Michael Walters and state Rep. Charles Graham, both of Robeson County, and James L. Boles Jr., of Moore County, to air their concerns. Boles is co-chairman of the House Justice and Public Safety Appropriations Committee, while Graham is a member of the committee.