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megashadowdragon · 3 years ago

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**1.**Punching Gilgamesh the moment you are summoned/enter a fight/enter a room is not reasonable and should not be done at any time -Gudao

1a. Not even when he barges into the Camelot Room and threatens to everyone, especially when he does it to make your female counterpart marry her -Gudao

1b. Apparently PTSD is not a viable excuse to punch someone when you see him harassing someone. Noted.

2. Just because I am a King, does not mean I can give people nicknames. Makes me wonder how Gareth felt about being called Best Boy by Merlin.

3. Eating contests are apparently not allowed, seems food shortages are common with my counterparts.

4. As it turns out, screaming "To Valhalla" is not the best idea when you step onto Iskandar's Chariot. Especially so when you are right in front of the enemy.

5. Frankenstein is not a doll, do not dress her up. No Arthur, not even if she tilts her head and makes cute growls -Gudao 5a. Okay! Only if its a sundress! -Gudao

6. Getting together four of my other counterparts and forming the Saber Rangers is not allowed, especially if we have Excalizords. Seems the other servants aren't fond of needlessly big robots that take too long to combine.

7. Motorbikes are not to be used at any point or time in Chaldea, no, not even when Iskandar decides to hold the "Chaldea Grand Prix" -Da Vinci

7a. THE SAME GOES FOR OTHER VEHICLES YOU MONGRELS, UNLIKE YOU FUCKS, SOME OF US NEED BEAUTY SLEEP AT 3 AM! -Gilgamesh

8. Just because I can use a sword, doesn't mean I am allowed to attack my Cu Chulainn with it. I swear, he walked into it.

9. Apparently I am not allowed to compliment people? Turns out after I left the beach where I hung out with a sweetie named Kiyohime, along with master, Kiyohime attempted to burn someone alive because I said that master looked like a dashing man. I highly doubt she did.

9a. The smell is still stuck to my trunks Arthur -Gudao

10. My liege... My OTHER liege, please don't ever get Red Saber to sing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" again when I am about to utilize Galatine -Gawain

11. We know you are fascinated in other cultures, but please. Stop talking to the Servants of France about Sasaki Kojirou, we don't know if you made up his nickname, but he is not the "Savior of France" - Jeanne D'Arc

12. I would suggest that you stop entering the Camelot Room by screaming "Where is my love! Guinevere!", while it as funny once or twice, I can't stand to see either Lancelots' become depressed anymore -Arturia Altria

13. No offense... But please stop patting my head so much, I know you are basically my Uncle, but people are getting the wrong idea -Mashu

14. While Proto League is an acceptable nickname for the servants of your war, please don't ever enter a fight and scream it out again. We know you enjoy it, but it can get obnoxious after a while - Random Mob 1

15. Proving that I am male by either fighting or pantsing myself is no longer allowed after Heracles decided to do the same thing when a recently summoned Shakespeare made him question his own gender -Da Vinci

15a. Having the entire male team to pants themselves in front of the enemy is not a viable tactic against Archers, no matter what you watched beforehand and despite how fun it is -Robinhood

16. Just because Merlin suggested it, I shouldn't instantly do it. Its odd, almost like no one trusts Merlin, he seems just like my one.

17. "I saw a pest" is not a viable reason to drop a Corrupted Grail into the Babylon Room, we understand your dislike towards the King of Heroes, but Ishtar and Ereshkigal were caught up in the rage.

17a. "I was bored" is not a viable excuse to kiss a female servant while under the effects of Merlin's illusionary spell, Gudao has yet to leave his... specially enduced Coma.

17b. "I saw this scene-" is not a viable reason to go to a prior singularity and ask Muramasa to create a specific weapon, it is time wasting, no matter how strong the weapon is.

18. Suggesting to Rayshift to the point before someone dies is not a good idea, no matter how much fun it is for you to watch the "Crazy Murder Loli" die.

18a. Getting Fou'd is not a good reason to Rayshift back to your fight against Beast VI just so you can "Finish the Fucker Off".

19. Using a voice manipulator made by Merlin is not a good way to get people to be afraid when you shout a noble phantasm.

19a. Shouting "Stella" is not allowed, Arash prematurely shot off his Noble Phantasm while training and now we have to resummon him.

20. Just because we have a Simulation Room, does not mean I can alter the device to allow me to see someone from the past.

20a. We know you miss her, we do too. If you want to speak, you can come talk to us -Proto League

21. Trying to host an "Engry MIYA" talk between Nameless and Alter is not a good idea, just... Don't.

22. While having a Picnic is fun, please don't host them in the middle of a fight.

23. Just because a rabbit killed Gawain in a movie, does not mean you can threaten to cook Fou alive.

24. We know you love kids but come on, you can't just take Nursery Rhyme and Jack out to "Play Fetch" with the Dragons in France every after-noon.

25. Blaming someone that isn't even a servant isn't a viable way to shift blame.

26. I've been banned from the Kitchen, apparently forcing my way in and cooking the meals before Nameless is not a good idea. He looked ready to cry.

26a. Turns out mentioning the fact that Muramasa was far more willing to let me into his kitchen when I visited him was not a good idea. I don't think Nameless likes me much.

26b. "Just because I have the alcohol" is not a good excuse to get a few of the servants including Mashu drunk at dinner.

27. Just because you technically existed before Back to the Future 1 and 2, does not mean you can threaten to sue the creator, even if you can go back in time freely.

28. NO, NEVER DO THAT AGAIN, NOT EVEN IF KIYOHIME ASKS NICELY, WE SHALL NEVER REPEAT THE EVENTS OF YESTERDAY AGAIN.

29. "Look what I found" is a sentence that I am never allowed to speak when I am holding something bigger than my head or smaller than my hands.

30. Turns out that breaking my own arm is not the best way to get Nightingale to calm down. Never thought Merlin would be wrong.

31. "Sure you can touch my Excalibur" is not the best way to differentiate between Arturia's Excalibur and my own when someone asks to hold it.

31a. "But mine is bigger" is not a good response when Arturia talks about how easy her seals are to remove from her Noble Phantasm, nor is it alright to use when talking about when how she made Mordred.

32. Stealing Gilgamesh's potion of youth and putting it in the Soup that EVERYONE ended up eating is the easiest way to have myself barred from missions for a week.

33. Just because people are afraid of it, doesn't mean you should hug it. Not even if Merlin says to.

34. Just because someone stole your food, does not mean you should "Call in a favor" and have Elizabeth sing until someone gives up who stole it

34a. Update: The above applies to Nero as well.

35. Just because I have an innate fear of the Lancer version of my female counterpart, does not mean I can steal her horse and run away because of that fear.

36. Making King Hassan say "Omae wa mou shindeiru" is not allowed, especially if you reply with "I'm already dead" just to mess with him.

37. You are fond of Mordred, we understand. But please stop teasing her. Calling her cute will be her death - KotR

38. We understand that being locked in a single room with Nobunaga can be hard, but saying it was like prison is not fair.

38a. Quoting an abridged anime is not allowed, especially if it has "Sluts" and "Prison" in the same sentence, we still don't know where you got that swim team outfit.

38b. Making a mini Excalibur and saying "Blade of Promised Prison Riots! SHANKCALIBUR" is not allowed at all, Edmond almost had a heart attack.

38c. It is noted that the Arthur and Nobunaga were almost forced to kiss, but utilizing time manipulation to see Romani's death and threaten him with "Spoilers" is not allowed.

39. Just because Merlin asked, does not mean you should dress up as a "Cutesy Idol" and perform a song with a voice changer on in front of a camera for his "Magi*Mari" stream, Romani has yet to heal from that wound.

40. Looking Mordred in the eye and saying "Mordred, I am your father" is not allowed, especially when you have her surrounded by all the versions of her "Father", even the ones that just look like "Him".

41. "I solomly swear I am up to no good" is not what you say while standing behind the Director in the Lost Room, she died once already, we don't need her worrying about what you will do.

41a. "Remember that time you became a Loli" is not to be said around Olga Marie after what happened after she was... Killed.

42. Quoting Kamina from Gurren Lagann is banned, especially after everyone believed you were actually erased from the throne. Only to find you a month later taking off an invisibilty cloak and sneaking into the mens bathrooms to shave.

43. Anime is fun to watch, but please. Stop trying to explain why a certain character would be within the Throne of Heroes.

43a. Stop. Asking. When. I. Will. Summon. ISSEI HYOUDOU! -Gudao

43b. BOOSTED GEAR SCALE MAIL! -Arthur

43c. BOOSTO? -Siegfried

44. Valentines is a wonderful thing, we get it. But making everyone in Chaldea chocolate by going around and hunting in various areas is not needed, we have too much already.

45. Stop Rickrolling, that was so early 2000s, get with the golden times old man -Kintoki

45a. EX-

46. Commenting on the impractical armors of the female knights that walk around is not needed, we have gotten complaints about how they feel harassed -Staff Member

46a. I just wanted to help out... -Arthur

47. I am not to sing anything ever again, the reason isn't because I am bad, no. Everyone agrees I am quite good. But its the genre I sing coupled with my Charisma rank. Seems love songs should not be sung. How sad.

48. Just because I have cat ears, does not mean you should give me Catnip - Atalanta

48a. The same was repeated for Alter.

48b. Along with Tamamo Berserker.

49. "Merlin told me to do it" is no longer an excuse that is accepted, even if he did make you do it.

50. LITERALLY ALL THE THINGS ON THIS LIST ARE BECAUSE OF MERLIN, STOP LISTENING TO HIM.

51. I'm only responsible for a quarter of these, stop blaming me for your troubles, Normies -Merlin

Kiyohime asks Arthur what to do to catch Gudao's attention. Arthur tells her to turn into his most cherished person. She turns into Gudako and tries to force Gudao into sex.

#fgo #fate grand order #fgo fanwork #fate/grand order #arthur pendragon #fate arthur pendragon #proto arthur #prototype arthur pendragon #fate prototype #f/go

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askaceattorney · 3 years ago

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(Previous Letter)

Dear dawsongfg,

Mod Edgeworth: Your letter never specified. If you want us to answer a letter to a character that takes place in a specific timeline, you need to let us know where it takes place in the letter. You can do so by posting “Post AAI2″ or having Simon mention about his own or his father’s arrest in the letter.

Thanks for the compliment. I did most of the Father’s Day letters, since I did feel it was unfair that non of the Holiday letters were getting answered. There are still some that we will save for next year, but I’m glad people had fun. I want to encourage everyone to send letters for the Holiday, since I suspect many aren’t that enthusiastic due to not being able to predict when those letters will be reached by the time the Holiday starts. I think having it done three days in advanced before closing it at the end of the Holiday will work the best.

Co-Mod: An obligatory thanks from me as well!

Dear Captcha,

Mod Edgeworth: Makes as much sense as everything else online.

Co-Mod: You don’t have to tell me. If studying computer science for 4 and a half years has taught me anything, it’s that computers are dumb.

Mod Justice: Honestly (might be an exaggeration, but I don’t care) I think at this point, everything is dumb.

(Previous Letter)

Dear Dawsongfg,

Mod Edgeworth: I... actually made the second sprite, because there were non of Manfred Von Karma smirking while talking. I did the best I could.

I will see if I can fix the sprite, but... no promises.

(Previous Letter)

Dear Dawsongfg,

Mod Edgeworth: What do you want us to- AH!

ACK!! IT WASN’T ME! I WASN’T EVEN HERE WHEN THAT WAS WRITTEN!!

Mod Justice: YOWCH!!!!

HEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY!!!! I’M WITH MOD EDGEWORTH ON THIS ONE!!!! DON’T LOOK AT ME!!!! IT’S EITHER THE ORIGINAL MOD, THE CO-MOD OR ONE OF THE ONES THAT LEFT!!!! THAT’S ALL I KNOW!!!!

Co-Mod: OW!! I PLEAD THE FIFTH!!

(Previous Letter)

Dear dawsongfg (again),

Co-Mod: I take no responsibility for Edgeworth’s naturally scary facial expressions.

My favorite book overall would be the Bible, but if we’re talking about non-religious texts...probably J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit, since it was one of the first novels I ever read through on my own. And my favorite season? Summer, no question. Water parks, swimming pools, fireworks... How can you not love it? Well...when we’re not recovering from a pandemic, that is.

Mod Edgeworth: I don’t really have a favorite season or book. I have read some good books, but I’m no bookworm. I do get invested in reading the Bible.

Mod Justice: Favorite book is actually a series of books: “Big Nate” for the win! Favorite season? Depends on where I’m at when it hits. I mostly prefer Fall and Spring (not too hot, not too cold), but in Texas, GIVE ME THE LAST TWO SEASONS OF THE YEAR ALREADY! GOOD GOD, I’M BURNING UP!

(Referenced Letters)

Dear dawsongfg again (again),

Mod Edgeworth: Hehe Phoenix has never had the best fashion sense, has he? The moment he walks out of the courtroom, he automatically becomes a fashion disaster. Just ask Beanie Phoenix.

Speaking of Blaise Debeste, we never really did get a reason for forging that autopsy report on Isaac Dover. Kinda makes you wonder why he’d go out of his way to frame the murder on a chef from a dancing and singing cooking show. Maybe I’m looking way too deeply into this, but I doubt it was just for shits and giggles.

(Previous Letter)

Dear dawsongfg again (again (again)),

Co-Mod: That’s called cheating, first of all. I actually do like plain cheese pizza, for the same reason as Mr. Engarde, oddly enough. I’m afraid I have no idea where that tag came from, though. Ask Tumblr.

Mod Edgeworth: Sorry, but I already gave the cookie away to the one who actually got it right... I prefer chicken and spinach with Alfredo sauce on my pizza.

Mod Justice: I’m more of a “Meat Lovers” kind of guy. My mouth is watering just thinking about it!

Dear Blaise,

Co-Mod: Your mail’s here.

Mod Edgeworth: Personally, I wouldn’t mind having a new female or male villain. Though, the worth of any villain, protagonist, side character, etc. should not be determined based on gender. I honestly hate the concept that there should be more females in Ace Attorney, because they’re women. I don’t enjoy Dahlia Hawthorn, because she’s a female villain, but because of how she uses her beauty to manipulate everyone in her wake. Same with Morgan Fey, Dee Vasquez, Gar’ran, Cammy Meele, Calisto Yew and Patrica Roland. I love them as villains because of what they bring to the table, not for their gender.

I think this whole there’s not enough women in Ace Attorney is a concept based off of the number of male vs female characters, believing it’s male dominated and thinking there should be more females. That’s a very flawed way of thinking and borderline sexist in my opinion. In every story or game, the quality of the female and male characters should be the center focus, not the quantity. You can have 100 female characters that suck in a story and I will always prefer a story with well-rounded characters, even if there’s only one that’s female in that story.

Now, I do think there should be more memorable hot villains, but that’s my hormones talking.

For your second question, I think Manfred Von Karma is in serious need of an established relationship with Miles Edgeworth and Franziska Von Karma. I’d also like to know more about the Von Karma family. Everything else, I think a majority of people have already brought up.

Mod Justice: I think if there’s anything that needs more elaboration in the Ace Attorney series, it’s the motives of the killers whose motives are not stated (not including “implied” motives), i.e. Luke Atmey’s motive for killing Kane Bullard. As for the-

F-female k-killers...? W-why am I-I g-getting a c-c-c-cold ch-ch-chill all of a-

OMGOMGOMGWHATINTHEWORLDAREYOUDOINGHEREGETTHEHELLOUTHOLYMOTHEROFPEARLGETTHEHELLOFFTHISBLOG-

Co-Mod: I’m tempted to say more female villains would make Ace Attorney more interesting, but...they tend to be a lot creepier than the male ones in this series. I mean, it’s not just me, right?

Then again, maybe that’s my mild fear of women talking, but there’s a limit to how much femme fatale I can take.

And you probably already know what my answer is to your second question, but ATHENA FLIPPIN’ CYYYYYYYYYYYYYYKES!!!

Yeah, I know... You can’t have everything.

(Referenced Letter)

Dear dawsongfg again (again (again (again))),

Co-Mod: Correct! I used good old Google Translate to come up with that term. And I’d love to hear anything our subordinates the characters have to say to us. We’re all friends/acquaintances here.

Mod Edgeworth: I believe so. We’d treat them no differently than any other letter.

(Referenced Letter)

Dear Anonymous,

Mod Edgeworth: Yes. We don’t consider Dawsongfg a bad troll or at least I don’t. I think he was just teasing Mod Justice and took it a bit too far.

As for the insults against Co-Mod and myself, you’re going to have to ask Mod Justice on that one.

However, one thing I must clarify is that Dawsongfg is not a harmful or bad troll. They often do stuff like this as playful banter. Mod Justice was answering letters for the first time, unaware of any of Dawsongfg’s shenanigans. It took him by surprise and we agreed that Dawsongfg took it a bit too far, if only because name calling was involved and Mod Justice was new. Had it been towards Co-Mod or myself, we’d likely have played along like usual. On top of that, these letters were taken off of the mobile devices, which were invisible to us at the time. All of Dawsongfg’s letters had gone unanswered that were a month’s worth, so it’s likely that Dawsongfg thought we were ignoring their letters.

One thing everyone needs to keep in mind about new mods is that they are still trying to adapt to their new environment and understand how everything ticks. It’s okay to mess around and be a playful troll, but each of us are different and may take it differently than the other. Luckily, Mod Justice didn’t take it personal and sees now that this is just their shtick. Another thing to keep in mind is that not all trolls are bad or troll for their own amusement. I once created a troll account on YouTube to make others laugh. I believe Dawsongfg is that kind of troll that is trolling to make us THE MODS and you THE AUDIENCE THAT READS THE LETTERS laugh. A majority of the popular anonymous letters that had the most likes were from Dawsongfg. I think we can forgive them for taking things a bit too far, wouldn’t you say?

Mod Justice: Yeah, he was. At that point, it turned from “teasing” to “insulting.” I mean, if someone hates Apollo, fine, to each their own. That does NOT give them an excuse to throw insults at people who love him.

Although... I understand he was joking at these times (and he did make me laugh), but then again, there’s a difference between “joking” and “blatantly and verbally attacking” someone and saying it’s a joke. Let me tell you guys something:

IT’S ONLY A JOKE IF EVERYONE IS LAUGHING WITH YOU WHEN YOU TELL IT.

When you actually insult someone and they are hurt, maybe you should apologize instead of dismissing it as a goddamn joke. Call me sensitive all you want, but it seems that “treating others the way you want to be treated” is starting to become optional nowadays.

Dear Anonymous,

Mod Justice:

Yeah, quick reminder: with the exception of these “Mod Letters” and characters that AREN’T related to Ace Attorney whatsoever (i.e. Mario, Sonic, Pokémon, etc.), all submissions to the AA characters themselves that mention the terms “Game,” “Characters,” or anything else that implies they aren’t “real” get deleted into Cyberspace. Also keep in mind that the “April Fools” letters from this past year don’t count.

Co-Mod: That’s true, unless we can find a way to work around it. I’m afraid I don’t which letters you’re referring to, but you’re forgiven nonetheless.

(Referenced Letter)

Dear Spelling Nazi,

Mod Edgeworth: I like some.

(Previous Letter)

Dear DawSongfg,

Mod Justice: Bad pun, no points, Co-Mod. Not amused.

(Referenced Letters)

Dear dawsongfg again (again (again (again (again)))),

Co-Mod: Okay... This needs to stop.

You raise a good point, though. We’ll definitely want to inform His Honor about that one.

Mod Edgeworth: For the second letter, I know you came to that conclusion on purpose. Obviously, I was meaning these guys.

Kidding.

-The Mods

P.S. We had forgot to mention, but we can read your anonymous letters on desktop again. That’s why they no longer have our icon.

#Anonymous #rogertheegg #Mod Post #Mod Edgeworth #Mod Justice #Co Mod

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the-sunshine-dims · 5 years ago

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spending time with your dark famILY

deceitber Day 4: Spending time with his dark family!!! @dragonindigo245 also this is pretty long so its going under the cut

*~warnings~* Remus being Remus, food, strong language, insomnia mention, Remus putting fruits in the pan with pancakes,

pairing(s): platonic dlampr, background logince (re, vi, and de are platonic but if you want to say its romantic or a qpp/qpr be my guest)

words: 1739

characters: Virgil, Remus, deceit, Logan, Patton, roman,

ao3 link

also this is long so its going under the cut

___________

it was nearly Christmas, or- it was in the Christmas month but that doesn’t sound as cool, anyway Virgil had decided he was ganna spend time with his dark family. he promised them

it was a rather cold day which Virgil knew meant that everyone was probably huddled up in blankets and sweaters, Virgil smiled at the thought as he stared up at the ceiling of his room. he sat up and sighed “ok gotta get a hoodie on” he said absently as he stood up and tried to find a comfy hoodie in his closet, his normal one was getting washed since roman had somehow gotten ketchup on it, his eye cought on a ugly charismas sweater Patton gave him, it was grey and purple with a big Christmas tree on the front and it said ‘ya better watch out’ a bunch with the words reaching the bottom of the sweater, he smiled and put it on

he headed to his door and opened it, he went down the hallway trying to find Patton or Logan or even roman just so he could tell them he wasn’t ganna be around today, he finally went down stairs after not finding anyone upstairs, he saw roman, Logan, and Patton hanging out in the kitchen, Patton was making what could be assumed was hot coco, roman was talking fast and excitedly waving his hand around, Logan gave a gentle smile at whatever roman was saying or maybe he was just smiling at roman

Virgil gave a smile and sighed gently shook his head, he headed down the stairs he got to the bottom before deciding to talk

“hey guys i’m not ganna be around the rest of the day, I might be gone for a bit tomorrow too, just letting you know” Virgil said facing the others

“oh kiddo where are you going?” Patton asked tilting his head like a confused puppy

“oh i’m ganna hang out with the darksides ”

Patton made a hum of acknowledgment before smiling “oh! I just remembered I have some left over snickerdoodles I was ganna give them to them but haven’t got the chance!” Patton opened the fridge and grabbed a Tupperware with around 6-10 cookies to hand to Virgil “can you give them to them for me?”

Virgil gave a small smile and nodded taking the Tupperware and giving his signature two fingered solute before sinking out

****

Virgil plopped himself into the darkscape and gave the barely decorated room a small gentle loving head shake, he walked around to see if anyone was around or he would have to go to their rooms to get them, he gently walked around making sure not to stomp. he looked over the couch and saw a sleeping deceit, he smiled to himself before walking around trying to remember exactly where Remus’s room would be, apparently he didn’t have to because after a minute or so of aimlessly walking around he felt someone run over and hug him from behind

he made a surprised yelp before his brain processed that it was most definitely Remus, he gave a small airy laugh as he turned around to confirm what he pretty much already knew, it was in fact Remus, he readjusted the cookies in his hands and hugged him back

“hey Remus how’s it goin’” Virgil gave a small smile

Remus pulled away from the hug with a big smile “oh its been fine! I’ve even made some cooler parody’s of Christmas songs!”

Virgil smiled “ok, I saw that dee is asleep wanna help me wake him up? and then we get cookies.”

Remus was practically bouncing at that “hell yeah! he’s ganna be so mad! or maybe not! either way it’ll be fun!” Remus laughed as he skipped down the hall back to the living room

Virgil gave a small pleasant sigh as he followed Remus in suit. when Virgil and Remus got there Remus started loudly screeching and Virgil just sat down next to deceit quietly trying to nudge him awake, and that actually did kind of work to get him half conscious

deceit mumbled something incoherent before sitting up and rubbing his eyes “mmm y-you guys better-” deceit yawned “y-ou better have a reason for waking me up”

Remus laughed “cookies!! also Virgil's here! but I think the cookies are a little more important” Remus gave a shit eating grin towards Virgil and Virgil just abrupted into laughter

“pfft yeah i’m here and i’m a little sorry I woke you up” Virgil grinned

“ehhh your lucky you don’t have cookies other wise I wouldn’t end you all” deceit said and yawned again and leaned over and put his forehead on Virgil's shoulder

Virgil gave a small laugh “if you fall asleep Remus will eat all the cookies”

deceit gave a small noise of protest “noooooo” deceit complained, causing Virgil and Remus to laugh a little bit more

“ok come on dee you have to eat breakfast, both of you do, because I know for a fact you guys haven’t ate” Virgil said trying to pick up deceit as Remus made a small offended gasp “come on dee wake up” causing deceit to make a noise of protest as he dug his head into Virgil's shirt he heard him mumble 'warm’, Virgil gave a laugh

“oooh we should do a prank if he doesn’t wake up!” Remus said happily

Virgil laughed “as fun- as that would be I don’t want a angry snek, actually if I just put him down he’ll probably wake up by the time the food is done”

“eh maybe,” Remus shrugged “but if he doesn’t can I try and wake him up?” Remus asked eagerly

“sure but its your funeral” Virgil lied down deceit on the couch only to hear a small noise of protest, Virgil chuckled and went over to the kitchen to cook- err try to cook, he was hoping there was pancake mix, that was easy and tasted good

*********

deceit had finally fully woken up to the smell of pancakes, the absence of Virgil’s warmth, and the sound of Virgil screaming and Remus laughing manically, deceit sat up and rubbed at his eyes as he turned back to the kitchen to see what Virgil was screaming about

what he saw was Virgil trying to stop Remus from putting what looked like a couple apples (but with Remus who knows) into the pan with the pancakes as Virgil tried to stop him, deceit looked over to the counter and saw a cooked apple that Remus had probably killed a pancake to make, deceit smiled at the sight of the others Shenanigan’s, deceit got up and lazily walked over to the kitchen,

Remus turned his head to deceit but was still fighting to put fruits of all kinds in the pan with the pancakes “hey double dee! your awake!” Remus twirled causing Virgil to be off guard and he plopped a tomato in “HAH I WIN” he screeched

Virgil made a unhappy noise “unfair” he muttered “dude i’m making your breakfast,” Virgil abruptly turned around when he processed that Remus said ‘hey double dee’ “oh! dee good morning, ya sleep well” Virgil said the last bit with a shit eating grin

deceit flushed “fuck you” he muttered only succeeding in getting a laugh from Virgil

“anyway breakfast is taking a bit longer then I thought due to-” Virgil turned and gave a death glare at Remus “-technical issues”

Remus laughed “your just mad I won”

“IT WAS YOUR BREAKFAST” Virgil screeched

“yeah, yeah,” Remus rolled his eyes causing an annoyed screech from Virgil

deceit laughed “oh I have an idea to keep Remus from interfering” deceit made grabby hands at Remus “Remus your ganna be my heat pack for a bit”

Remus laughed, happily hopping into deceits arms letting him use his warmth, Virgil laughed

“thank you dee, I think they’ll be done in a minute” Virgil said

deceit nodded putting his chin on Remus's shoulder just chilling for a bit before Virgil eventually finished the batch of pancakes, after the pancakes were eaten they wandered back to the couch and all of them got comfy and turned on the nightmare before Christmas in the background

“hey remember the cookies? its after breakfast so you can have some” Virgil said handing the Tupperware to the side lying his head on his lap

“thank you” deceit said grabbing two and headbutting Remus with the container

“rude!” Remus said with an offended gasp and took the cookie container causing deceit to just laugh

“I don’t know” deceit said with a chaotic smile

Virgil laughed mumbling something undecipherable

“what was that storm boy?” Remus said with a grin

Virgil laughed “nothin’~” he grinned

“come on what did you say?” deceit asked leaning his head so he could see Virgil's face

Virgil laughed again “nuh uh I aint tellin’” Virgil smiled

“whyyyy” Remus complained

Virgil just laughed again “because”

“that’s not a reason!” Remus complained once more

“eh I don't give up on this quest” deceit deadpanned and just lied his head back down and grabbed Remus, bringing him to lay down as well

“noooo not fair!” Remus squirmed but gave up

“oh no I cant move my legs are ganna fall asleep” Virgil deadpanned

deceit laughed manically “this was my plan all along” he patted Virgil's waist with one hand “pat pat”

Virgil sighed dramatically “oh woe is me how shall I ever recover” he said causing the other two to abrupt in giggles (Remus more maniacally) Virgil laughed “you two are such dorks”

Remus laughed “whal-”

“-nope none of that” deceit interrupted causing more laughs,

Remus laughed and summoned a blanket and spreaded it the best he could in someone's arms and muttered something unintelligible before drifting off to sleep

“how did he just fall asleep?” Virgil asked baffled

“its because he is an insomniac like you”

“I mean yeah but why you got to drag me?”

deceit laughed “its cold and unpleasant…” he muttered readjusting himself before drifting off as well

“seriously? i’m the only one not asleep? wack” Virgil muttered only now realizing that him too is having trouble keeping his eyes open and not falling asleep, he carefully grabbed the container of cookies from Remus and put it on the coffee table just in reach, he gave a yawn and summoned another blanket and then he too drifted off into unconsciousness

#deceitber #ts deceitber #ts virgil #virgil sanders #roman sanders #ts roman #logan sanders #ts logan #remus sanders #ts remus #the cold one writes #deceit sanders #ts deceit #patton sanders #ts patton #sanders sides #sander sides #fluff

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kayteewritessteve · 6 years ago

Text

Okay, Deal.

Description: A tower game night ends in a slightly different way then you’d have expected.

Masterlist HERE.

Word Count: 3,970 ish.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Rating: G

Requested: Yes, by the lovely @casuallydarktiger . She’d originally asked for a Bucky one shot, but as I don’t currently write for the handsome Buck, I asked if she’d be okay with a Steve one instead. So, here it is! My first Marvel one shot request! Hopefully I did your request justice, lovely! And I can’t wait to hear what you think of it!!

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader either, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.

You stared across the table at the very large super soldier, who was currently deciding whether he wanted to royally screw you over or not. Or at least that’s what you assumed he was trying to figure out. Though his fixed, impassive expression wasn’t giving you a damn thing to go on at the moment. And it was taking everything in you to not show an ounce of the current internal turmoil that was raging inside you. You fought valiantly to keep your nonchalant, relaxed and be it slightly smug expression on the outside. His eyesight was far too good, far too fast, and even if you slipped up only a little. Let just one millisecond of nerves affect your expression, he’d see it. Damn near in slow motion at that. And he’d know, god, he’d totally know that you were fucking bluffing. 100%.

So how did you end up in basically a stare off with thee Steve Rogers, a man they literally say was ‘frozen in time’—Shit, yeah, you were most likely doomed to lose this stare off from the start— you ask? Oh, well, let me explain that for you.

A few hours earlier.

The tower was abuzz with activity, as all the avengers were actually home at the same time, which was something that didn’t happen all that often. Usually at least 2 or 3 were off on missions, sometimes damn near all of you were gone. However, by the grace of God, nothing was happening in the world right now. And every team member was in attendance tonight, so Tony decided that was a perfect excuse for a team building night. Or a ‘family game night’ as some of you called it.

You’d all met in the main living area, and then had a hearty group discussion about which game to actually play.

Thor had offered up Monopoly, which Nat had vetoed damn near instantly. Citing that Tony and Sam always got way to into it, and she was not interested in spending the next 3 days watching them play one stupid game, that would just result in Sam flipping the board game off the table in a fit of rage. To which both Sam and Tony attempted to claim was complete bullshit and a defamation of character, respectively. But the pointed glares from the rest of the group shut them both up. Instantly.

Wanda offered up Pictionary, but Sam groaned and refused to play against Steve, or Tony. But especially Steve, however instead of using his name, he referred to him as ‘the da vinci over there’. So yeah, pictionary was also out.

Clint had suggested Cards Against Humanity, but then quickly rescinded that offer when he saw the wicked grin break out on Tony’s lips. That game was a total blast, however, it always took a dark and awkward turn, rather quickly, when Tony was involved. And honestly, no one ever won against him, he was just too damn good at that game.

Rhodey offered up Risk, but that was axed due to obvious reasons.

Tony then suggested Trivial Pursuit, clearly as a dig at the super soldiers, who both caught on to that and then abruptly shot down the idea, saying it wasn’t fair to play since they were both, basically, not around for the last 40 years—that being the time frame in which Trivial Pursuits questions all came from.

So then the suggestions continued on, adding Life, Clue, and Sorry to the pile of now vetoed games.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Bruce brought up Poker, and you had to try not to excitedly jump at the suggestion. Everyone seemed to mull it over, a few trying to say that they weren’t really that interested or that they didn’t have any cash on them, but then Tony got an idea.

“What if, instead of betting money, we bet other things?”

“Such as?” Sam asked skeptically, though you could tell he was intrigued.

“Bragging rights?” Clint asked, excitedly.

“Yeah that, or,” Tony started and the wicked smirk was back, except this time it made everyone curious, instead of nervous. “We can each bet whatever we want, like chores,” he looked pointedly at Bucky who just shrugged as everyone else laughed, “or dates,” he glanced at you for a second then shifted his eyes away to someone else, and you instantly paled, praying no one else noticed. Or rather that one person in particular hadn’t. “Or food, or personal items, or anything really.” He shrugged.

You peeked around at the others, making a point to avoid looking at Steve, hoping he hadn’t caught Tony’s ‘date’ meaning. To say you had a crush on Steve, was a bit of an understatement. I mean, honestly, who wouldn’t. He was the whole damn package, wrapped up in a soft, sweet, slightly awkward bow. You were sure there was a damn support group in the building for all the women—and men— currently crushing on him. You know, like a ‘We adore Steve Rogers Anonymous’ group, and you’d bet money that Sam was heading that support group with full force, most likely with Coulson happily by his side. The thought made you giggle and you quickly stifled the sound. You heard a snort and flicked your eyes up to see Nat, smirking with a raised brow at you, as if she knew what you were thinking.

Then your eyes drifted to Wanda, who was pointedly attempting not to make eye contact with you and also trying not to laugh, and you instantly realized that she actually knew what you were thinking. Poor thing did try really hard not to read peoples minds, but sometimes it just happened, and you couldn’t fault her for that. She finally locked eyes with you, giving you an apologetic smile, and you just smiled back, reassuringly. It’s not like you hadn’t told her all about your little crush already. She knew all the dirty details.

“Well, I’m in,” Nat said with a shrug, “could be fun.”

Everyone else agreed with her and Tony went to grab a few decks of cards. You did your best not to look too excited but little did they all know you’d grown up watching, and then partaking in, weekly family poker nights. And having 3 older brothers, you’d gotten very competitive and in turn very, very good at this game.

Over the next few hours, everyone was slowly bumped out. You’d all agreed at the beginning on 5 things each, to offer up as bets, and once those 5 things had been won by others, that person was out.

You’d ended up winning a bunch of random things, the main ones of note being; a week of Wanda cooking you dinner, 3 hours with Sam’s Falcon pack, 3 bags of Tony’s blueberries, one of Bucky’s coveted knives and the pièce de résistance, a flask of Thor’s Asgardian mead. All and all, you’d damn near cleaned house, which had caught the others completely off guard. Tony had practically fallen out of his chair when you’d knocked him out of the game, along with Nat and Bucky. Adding them to your casualties list with Wanda and Clint.

But Tony wasn’t the only one who had been caught off guard by someones hidden skills. Turns out Steve was damn near a pro at poker, and him doing so well at this game had managed to surprise you, making you utterly aware that there were, in fact, still things you didn’t know about him. And even though he’d knocked out Bruce, Thor, Vis, Rhodey and Sam, he wasn’t smug or boasting about it. In fact, he was actually eerily silent and impassive the whole game, which was messing with you. A lot. He’d barely mumbled a word since the game started and so now, it was just you and him, the last two left standing, and there were a bunch of things riding on this hand.

Both of you only had one item of your own left to bet, making this the final round. Your bet was one you were not wanting to part with, but if anyone was going to win them, you were happy it was Steve. He’d appreciate them the way they should be, and you’d maybe be able to talk him into letting you borrow them from time to time. ‘Them’ being your 5 favourite Disney movies, which were all currently in the stupid Disney vault, so you’d have a hard time replacing them. But it was doable, for sure. Just might cost you an arm and a leg.

And Steve's bet was one of his sketchbooks, whichever one the winner wanted— And you wanted that damn sketchbook, plus your Disney movies. So you needed to win this damn hand.

So here you were, trying to read his blank expression, waiting to see if he would fold and let you take the win, or if he’d raise you one of his acquired items. And then it would have to goto the actual cards, and you weren’t too hopeful your 4 of a kind Jacks would hold up. All he needed was a royal flush, a straight flush, or a higher set of 4 to take it.

So you both sat here, silently, and even if your eyes had been closed, you’d have been able to feel his drilling into you. He was just staring at you, probably looking for any subtle hints from your body language or features, but you weren’t giving him a damn thing. This was the exact same treatment your oldest brother, Tyler, would give you during intense games. So you were used to it—slightly, I mean, you obviously don’t have a raging crush on your brother, and his eyes on you definitely didn’t make you feel this way. And there was just something about Steve openly staring at you. You wished it was him ogling you, but at the same time you’d take whatever you could get. No complaints about it.

You were also acutely aware of the other sets of eyes on you as well. The ones shifting between Steve and yourself, as if waiting for one of you to crack. But you refused to give them that satisfaction.

So instead, you took this opportunity to just look at him. And I mean, really look at him. Because, my god, he was just so damn attractive. From his blonde hair, to his blue eyes, to his chiseled jaw and plump lips. Oh god, the things you wanted to do to this man. The things you dreamed about doing. In a perfect world, you’d get to do them all, you’d get to call him your own and love him for exactly the man he is.

Captain America, who? I’m sorry, I don’t know her... But Steve Rogers, now him you knew, fully. Maybe not as well as Bucky, but pretty damn close.

When you’d joined the Avengers, 4 years back, just before the Chitauri attacked. You’d been thrusted into battle when it all went down, which you weren’t entirely ready for, but there really wasn’t any other options. It was all hands on deck. However, looking back on it now, you’re glad you were, because it was why you and Steve had bonded instantly. He had your back out there, just as you had his.

You’d been struggling to focus on fighting the Chitauri, as you were a few yards away from a rather large distraction. A tall, muscular super soldier that you had so much respect for, and fighting alongside him only made that respect grow, ten fold. Seeing him in action first hand was such a thrill. Such a rush. And you kept having to remind yourself that you were in the middle of an invasion, and you couldn’t just stand there and watch Steve Rogers fight. Regardless of how entrancing that was.

Buuuuuut maybe you should have been a little more firm with yourself on that, since you were almost crushed by a few floors of a building, one that clearly decided it no longer wanted to stay standing. But, Steve, being the hero he always was, swooped in and saved your ass at the last second. And from then on, you stuck close to him, had his back just as he had yours.

And now, years later, you were both like a well oiled machine. Both your skills playing perfectly off each other, so much so that neither of you ever went on missions without the other, it was just too risky as you’d both grown so accustomed to the other being there. Some might say it was a weak spot, but you’d just ignore them. What did they know anyways? Your only weakness was not having Steve by your side.

So it goes without saying that it didn’t take long for the crush to form—it may have always been there in some capacity though, but that was more an infatuation with the man, the legend, that was Steve Rogers AKA Captain America.

However, once you got to know Steve, like really know him, inside and out, that infatuation shifted to sheer adoration for him. For everything he was, and wasn’t. For everything he’d been and would be. It wasn’t about his hero title anymore, it was just about him. The man behind the mask and shield.

So yeah, you totally had a crush on Steve Rogers, but could anyone really blame you?—

Your eyes quickly snapped down at a movement on his face, and you watched as the corner of his lips twitched, just slightly. Then your eyes flicked up to his and locked on. And instantly you realized the impassive front was gone, there was now a few different emotions swimming in his eyes. You couldn’t make them all out, but mischief was definitely one of them, you knew that look in his eyes all too well. So that mixed with a slight knowing look, both combined to make your heart rate pick up and your stomach to do back flips. What did he know, that you didn’t? Oh god, what does he know?!

“I fold,” he said softly as he put his cards face down on the table and slid them off to the side. Right into the muck pile, effectively making it impossible for anyone to check what his cards had been.

“What?” Tony gaped, wide eyed at Steve, “you’re folding after all of that?!”

“Steve, man,” Sam groaned, “you’re seriously going to end it like that?”

“I can’t believe this,” Clint mumbled and glanced around at the others, “we’ve been sitting here for hours and that’s the finish we get?!”

“They’ve only been playing this hand for 25 minutes.” Nat says back with an eye roll.

“But it’s felt like hours,” Clint crosses his arms and pouts, “I feel like we got ripped off here.”

“Wait, what did he have?” Wanda asks the group. Clearly confused by how folding works.

“We will never know,” Bucky sighs and shakes his head.

You quickly push your cards face down into the muck pile as well, before anyone can think to ask what you had. Though Thor does ask anyways, “Lady Y/N, what was your winning hand?”

You smirk at Steve, receiving one in return and then you both stand from the table, “That’s for me to know, and you to think about, big guy.” You pat his arm, comfortingly. And then make your way over to Steve to shake his hand, thanking him for a good game.

As you do, Steve leans in and whispers, “Shall we go pick out your sketchbook?”

You grin up at him and nod your head enthusiastically, “Yes, let’s!”

You both walk out of the room, hearing everyone still complaining about how it all ended, and Tony frantically trying to figure out which cards Steve and you had, while he has FRIDAY crunching the card and number probabilities.

You both laugh as you make your way towards Steve’s room, and once you’re out of earshot of the others you lean in, “so, can I ask what you had?”

He side eyes you and you don’t miss the grin on his lips, “I had a royal flush.”

You halt your steps and damn near yell, “what?!” before quickly looking around and lowering your voice to an incredulous whisper, “then why did you fold?”

He stops and turns to you, then just shrugs, “I couldn’t take your movies from you. I know how much you love them.”

“Wow, thats,” you pause, just staring up at this big, beautiful sweetheart, “really thoughtful of you, Steve. Thank you.”

He gives you a glorious smile, “don’t mention it.” Then he starts to walk again, and you quickly fall into step with him.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what I had?” You question, curiously.

“No,” he shakes his head, “I know you had 4 of a kind.”

“How did you—jesus, what are you, like a professional card counter or something?”

“Eidetic memory,” he taps his temple, and smirks at you, “plus I played a lot back in the 40’s.”

“Damn,” you mumble, more to yourself, “and here I thought I was the one hiding my master skills.”

“Oh trust me, you were one of the harder opponents I’ve ever had, so don’t feel too bad about it.” He stops walking as you both reach his door.

“Well that’s reassuring at least,” you nod.

He opens his door and ushers you into his room, then shuts it. He wanders over to his desk and searches the top and drawers for his sketchbooks, “now I know the deal was you get to pick the book, but would you be okay with us amending that just a little?”

“In what way?” You ask.

He glances over his shoulder at you, “Would you be okay if I, maybe, picked the book for you?”

“Yeah, that’s fine with me.” You nod.

“Perfect,” he smiles then moves to his bookshelf, clearly searching for a specific one, which he seems to be having some troubles finding. He stands in front of the bookshelf, scratching the side of his head in thought and then as if he has an epiphany, he quickly turns and walks over towards his bed. Opening the top drawer of his bedside table and pulling a book out, mumbling, “there you are.”

He walks back over to you, and you notice that he now looks extremely hesitant, unsure. Which is a different look for him, one you’ve barely ever seen on him before. That only causes your mind to race with the possibilities of why he’d be nervous about this. It was just a sketchbook, wasn’t it?

“Ah,” his eyes shift down to the ground and he rubs the back of his neck, “so I should probably warn you before I give you this,” his eyes snap up to yours and he holds the book out to you, “so, ah, don’t be alarmed.”

“Okay,” you slowly say as you take it from him, pressing the still closed book to your chest as you walk over to his bed, then plop yourself down on the end. He just stays standing near the door, watching, waiting. Which only makes your heart rate skyrocket as to what exactly you’re about to see. What could be in this book that is causing him to act so out of character.

Your fingers gently brush the worn, and well loved, brown leather cover and then you slowly flip it open to the first page.

And you are instantly positive that you’ve died. Yup, you’re dead. You have to be. That is the only explanation your mind can think up for what you are currently looking at. You flip to the next page, then the next, and the next, and so on for a few more pages, before your eyes snap up to meet Steve’s clearly anxious ones.

“There all,” you clear your throat then glance back down at the sketchbook again, running your fingers over the sketch currently showing, and whispering, “there all of me?”

“Yeah, I ah, I find it,” he pauses and you peek up at him, seeing him now blushing and shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“Find it?” You coax, gently.

He takes a deep breath, “I find it comforting to draw you. After a hard mission, I mean.” He pauses then adds quickly, “Or really at any time. You just—there is just something about you that calms me. Relaxes me, I guess.”

You close the sketchbook and gently place it on the bed as you stand, then take the few short steps so that you’re standing in front of him now, “I calm you?”

He nods then locks eyes with you, “yeah, you ah, you always have.”

“So you draw me when..?” You trail off then add, “Like when you’re upset, or?”

“Not just upset, I mean, drawing you does help when I am. But I also draw you when I’m happy, or bored.” He shrugs.

“Huh,” you reply, thoughtfully, “why?”

“Why?” He repeats back, pretending to be confused. But you know him well enough to see right through that.

“Yeah,” you nod, “why do you draw me, specifically? Or do you have books for the others as well?”

“Not full books, no.”

“So I’m the only full book?” You wonder aloud.

“Yep.”

“So then, why?” You ask quietly as you take a small step towards him, now only inches away from him.

“Ah, because I,” He takes another deep breath, “I adore you, Y/N. I always have. And I’ve never felt this way about anyone else before. Not this deeply, at least.”

You smile up at him, a real genuine smile, because holy shit. Is this all really happening right now? Is he really saying all these things to you? My god, maybe you have actually died and gone to heaven. “I adore you too.”

“You do?” He asks, buoyantly.

You nod, “I do.”

And then you see the confident Steve resurface, as if he hadn’t gone anywhere, and a smirk breaks out on his handsome face, as he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you into him, “I’m going to kiss you now.”

“Okay, deal.” You giggle out just before he leans in and silences you with his lips. You know, the ones you’ve been dreaming about kissing for years. Yeah, those ones.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bonus:

You and Steve finally part from the most amazing kiss you’ve ever had, leaving you both a little dazed and confused. But that doesn’t last long because this is the tower after all.

“Tony would like me to inform you both of his congratulations,” FRIDAY’s familiar lilt echoes through Steve’s room, “and to play this recording for you both.”

And then you hear Tony’s voice speak up, “that took you both long enough. What was that, 4 years of mutual pining? Damn, I haven’t even had relationships that lasted that long.” A pause then Tony’s recording continues, “oh and also, I figured out both your hands. And I never took you as someone who would forfeit, Capsicle. I’m disappointed in you.”

Then the room goes silent once again.

“He is never going to get me live that down now,” Steve groans as he scraps a hand down his face, and you burst out laughing.

“No, no he is not—“ you start but then a finger gently pokes your ribs, right where you’re ticklish spot is, causing you to flinch away from it and giggle.

“That’s enough outta you, missy,” he jokes as he leans down to kiss you again, effectively preventing any retort you were about to make. But my god, you could really get used to this. And from the looks of it, that just might be what’s in the cards for you both.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Not sure if you all want to be tagged in this or not, but figured I’d tag ya’ll just in case. @hopefulmoonobject @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @tessvillegas @boxofteenageideas @wangdeasang @giggleberts @casuallydarktiger @theonelittleone @agentbadbitch @ratwrites @starrystellars @bandsandanimefreak

#au fanfiction #fanfiction #long post #long read #marvel au #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #everyone lives happily in the tower #no one is dead in this world #just play along #i needed the fluff #answered asks #asks #ask box requests

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space-------kid · 5 years ago

Text

can’t keep my hands (off you).

Anime/Manga: One Punch Man Pairing: Garou/fem!Reader Additional pairing/characters: platonic Metal Bat/fem!Reader, Zenko, mentions of other heroes such as Saitama, Watchdog Man, etc. Genre: Romance, comedy Warning: Absolute silliness. Language – Garou and reader both ate rainbows for breakfast. Dumbassery. Teeth-rotting fluff, maybe? Reader is hella strong like Saitama. Half-assed spice because you’re good at cockblocking Garou despite being low-key thirsty for him. And LOTS of dumbassery from the reader, most probably. Additional tag: Dream-based fic, canon-divergent, Garou is horny af A/N: This is supposed to be a lengthy one-shot, but I’m a dumbass who can’t keep my word so the supposedly one-shot isn’t a one shot anymore. Now I have to worry how I should properly divide all those parts (I mean, they’re already divided, but–) 😅 Happy New Year! *snicker*

You and Garou continue being friends. And he still couldn’t get enough of your thighs, damn it.

Summary:

Your life had its general ups and downs, pros and cons, the good and the bad.

You were admittedly a coward and afraid of being targeted by people for it. Following the advice of your (best) friend you trained hard, like, FUCKING hard, and now you’re blessedly, utterly strong you can take down enemies with just one hit. A good thing, really. Can’t let any bad guy harass you or something.

But-

You were probably cursed with the biggest, baddest of luck. Not only were monsters chasing you, suddenly there was this fucking hot bastard weirdo who kept on calling himself the Hero Hunter. “I’m not a hero, goddamn it!”

i. and ii. | iii. and iv. | v. | vi. | [more to be added]

“i can’t keep my

hands

off…!”

- can’t keep my hands off you/simple plan

vii.

You were acting skittish around him, and not because of his constant teasing.

Garou was secretly thankful that you weren’t stupid like other people despite being such a dumbass sometimes. He liked that you were being straightforward with him, and it was something that he could appreciate at the moment.

He also loved liked the fact that despite coming to terms that he was indeed the wanted Hero Hunter, you never actually banned him from going in and out of your home as he pleased.

“I mean, I really am a dumbass, right?” you were telling him as he watched you cooked dinner for the both of you. Garou had uncharacteristically held off his hero hunting to discuss things with you, and he could see how relieved you were about it.

“You already told me yourself who you are the first time we met and here I am, still surprised that I’m actually letting the Hero Hunter inside my home!” you continued. Your expression turned contrite when you turned to look at him. “B-But that didn’t mean that you’re not allowed here anymore! I’m just too shocked by my sheer dumbassery to actually- a-and you’re just beating heroes up and not killing them, I heard, so… fuck my logic, right? But as long as you’re not outright murdering anyone, I don’t have the right to tell you to stop doing whatever you want with your life, right? I know you don’t need someone telling you that and-“

He shouldn’t even be here in your house right now. He should’ve left the moment you broached the topic about his identity. But just as Garou thought that you would ask him not to return anymore or else you’d call for help (not that you needed it, anyway), here you were: telling him that he was still free to come and go to your home as he pleased.

What kind of a coward would let a wanted criminal to enter their home as they pleased? A dumbass, you said it yourself.

“If you’re scared of telling me to leave, don’t be,” Garou told you insouciantly. “All you gotta do is ask, jeez.”

You shot him a dumbfounded look at quickly shook your head. “Why would I do that?” you asked him, flabbergasted. “I told you already that you’re still allowed here, did I?”

He frowned at you, steadily feeling annoyed by the wary light in your eyes and how it contradicted with your shaky yet genuine words. Could you decide which of the two you would remove off of you already?

“Then decide if you should be scared or sincere already, for fuck’s sake!” he barked at you, making you squeak and nearly drop the ladle you were holding. Garou caught the thing when you threw it at him in retaliation, glaring half-heartedly and pouting at him.

“I AM sincere, you dork! And maybe I’m just feeling scared because I don’t want my best friend to throw me in jail himself or beat you up because he might think that-“

You stopped talking, looking as if you said something that you shouldn’t have and turned your back to him. Garou narrowed his eyes at your behaviour, curiosity gleaming in his golden eyes.

Why did you just suddenly sport that ‘shit I fucked up’ expression?

The self-proclaimed Hero Hunter crossed the distance between the two of you in a few quick strides and corralled you against the kitchen counter, arms caging you between his body and the countertop in front of you. Garou could see your body tense at the proximity, couldn’t stop himself from admiring your exposed skin thanks to your hair tied up in a messy bun and the tank top you were wearing. He was so close, he could practically nuzzle his nose against your neck should he dip his head down to your level-

Nope, not now, though. He had a curiosity to sate at the moment.

“And why would your best friend beat me up, huh? Lock you up in jail?” he questioned, raising a brow at you when you peeked up at him over your shoulder. Garou fought the urge to grin at your flushed face but he wasn’t opposed to the idea of flustering you further.

Wait a damn moment. How did he get from teasing you in hopes of awakening the thing that took over your body to defend yourself TO teasing you just to see how you looked like while blushing?

Oh, right. You and your fucking thighs, Garou answered himself. But back to more current pressing matters….

You looked away again and stuttered a reply.

“B-Because he m-m-might want t-to! C-Can’t anyone do t-that?” was your shitty excuse.

Man, you could really be a dumbass.

Garou leaned his body towards you, his broad chest touching your back. You let out a surprised squeak at the contact, trying but failing not to take notice of the hard planes of his muscles against the fabric of your clothes.

“[Name],” he whispered in your ear. The gasp he elicited from you sounded so good, and Garou could feel his self-control slipping just a tiny bit. He bit back a groan when you pressed your back against his chest in an attempt to push him off of you.

“C-Come on, haven’t you heard o-of citizen’s a-a-arrest or s-something?” you yelled at him indignantly, your voice turning up a pitch higher in your panic. “Bat is just-“

“Bat?” Garou asked you, perplexed. Did he just mishear you, or…? “I thought you said your best friend’s name was Badd?”

You hurriedly turned around to face him and planted your hands on his chest, pushing him away weakly. Garou, however, didn’t budge and kept his questioning gaze on you.

“That’s what I said! Badd!” you lied frantically, eyes shut tight as you continued your feeble attempts. Damn, where was your strength when you needed it?

Too bad for you, Garou was secretly the sharpest tool in the shed. He was quick to pick up on the erratic pitch of your voice and sudden ungainly body language. “He’s a hero, ain’t he? Your best friend?”

“He’s not!”

You could lie all you want, but you’re not fooling him anymore.

Garou should be angry. He really should. After all, being lied to was one of the things he hated the most. But the reason for your deceit was not to harm anyone – he could clearly see that you were hell-bent into uttering a falsehood just so you could protect your (hero) best friend as well as Garou himself. Not that he needed your protection, but-

He almost smiled at the concern you were inadvertently showing him. More so when he heard what you had to say next.

“He’s not!” you lied still. “And what if he is? I-I can’t let my friends beat each other up, you dummy!”

Ah. Garou should have expected that you two were way past being acquaintances with how much he had been frequenting your home and interacting with you. The thought of being friends with you struck a chord in him that had long since fallen asleep ever since he was bullied as a kid.

You might be a dumbass sometimes, but you were still quite welcoming despite all the previous scares and continuous teasing he put you up with. And aside from making it his goal to fluster you (as his stupid teenage hormones commanded him), Garou found the companionship rather… nice. Not that spending time with that kid at the park and reading the Hero Guide Booklet together wasn’t something he wouldn’t call a form of camaraderie. Maybe spending time with someone his age without having a care in the world was something he sort of sought and found in you.

Garou had no qualms being a lone wolf, but he won’t deny that human interaction – well, aside from beating heroes up, that is – was a nice change of pace in the life he now led as the Hero Hunter.

You were a coward, but you were never judgmental. And that was one of the things he quite liked about you, if truth be told, other than your perfect thighs-

And there went his mind again. He had seen women sexier and much prettier than you, so why were you the only one who piqued this kind of interest on him, the kind that he usually didn’t even bother entertaining?

And you calling him friend right now wasn’t exactly helping-

“Are you gonna beat my best friend up, then? If I tell you he’s a hero?”

Garou blinked at your distressed question and leaned down at you, grabbing your wrists and placing your arms around his shoulders while he grinned at you playfully.

“I don’t even know which of those damned heroes is your friend,” he told you jauntily. “Ah! Maybe the reason why you didn’t tell me is because he’s weak? Scared I’ll beat him to a pulp, [Name]?”

He was just making fun of you, you told yourself. But Garou implying that your best friend wouldn’t hold his own against the silver-haired male pushed you into your protective mode. People could badmouth you all they wanted, but to hell with it if they demean your number one supporter and his little sister!

“How dare you?! Badd is way stronger than me! He can beat you up real easily!” you angrily defended your best friend. Not realizing that Garou was riling you up into telling you who Badd really was, you unwittingly took the bait and could only stop yourself the last second.

“He’ll beat you up and it’ll be a piece of cake for him ‘cause he’s Metal Ba-“

Hurriedly, you stopped yourself and pulled your arms off of him to cover your mouth with your hands. Eyes the size of the moon, you winced when Garou gave you a look as if he’d hit the jackpot.

“Ding, ding! And so she finally tells me who her best friend is,” he tells you in a sing-song manner, grin splitting from ear to ear now. “And what a surprise, he turns out to be S-Class, rank 15!”

The look you gave him was full of annoyance at being one-upped and ire directed at your own folly. You covered your face to muffle the frustrated whine bubbling from your throat and mindlessly shoved your head on his chest.

Caught off guard at your sudden movement, Garou raised his hands but not quite knowing what to do with them. He settled for patting your head with one hand, his ears turning pink when you unconsciously purred(?) like a cat at the action.

“You’re gonna hunt him now, aren’t you?” you asked him, your voice muffled. “You’re gonna hunt Badd, and there’s nothing I could do to stop you from doing so.”

Garou huffed, hand still petting your hair gently. “Yep. Nothin’ you can do about it.”

This was it. Guess he had to cut your friendship short since he didn’t really want to make you choose between some guy you just met recently and the one you call your best friend.

He was the Hero Hunter, and you were a civilian with a pro-hero for a best friend.

What an uncanny arrangement.

You shuffled slightly and craned your neck to look up at him, your eyes wide and imploring. “Can I make a request, though? Like, don’t try to kill Badd, maybe? Since there’s no stopping you from being the Hero Hunter and I can’t exactly dictate you to drop the act…”

Garou gaped at you, face filled with incredulity. Did you just give him the permission to fight your best friend as long as he didn’t commit murder? And did you just imply that you accepted him for who he was?

And it’s as if Garou was actively trying to kill those he beat up

He watched as your eyes filled with awe and admired the way your cheeks turned red when he smiled at you – and a genuine one at that. Garou squished your cheeks with his hands and lowered his face to yours, his smile turning roguish when you blushed harder at the proximity.

“And what if Metal Bat kills me, huh? Don’t you think that’s a bit unfair?” he questioned. “Can’t make a request like that if it’s gonna put me at a disadvantage, y’know. But… I might be willing if-”

One of his hands crept down and poked your thighs with a finger.

“-I get a handful of these?”

Garou dodged, laughing, when you swung a hand up at him for a slap.

“Pervert! Leave my thighs alone, thirsty bastard!”

---

to be continued

#garou x reader #platonic metal bat x reader #garou #garou the hero hunter #garou the human monster #metal bat #badd #opm x reader #one punch man #one punch man season 2

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vandorens-archive · 5 years ago

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ten questions tag | i was tagged by: @mshelleys, @emdrabbles, @pe-ersona, @evergrcen and @septemberliterature. thank you so much, and i’m so sorry i’m getting to this so late!

everything is under the cut!

@mshelleys

i. if you could change the genre of one of your wips, what would you change it to and how would the story/characters change?

So, trahison already features a ghost and a brief stay at a manor. have i considered turning it into a full fledged horror because of that? perhaps.

ii. do you think of your characters as actors playing a part in a movie or as people in history actually doing things that effect the future?

i think of them as actors playing in one long, crazy, unpredictable play.

iii. role swap your protagonist and antagonist but keep their personalities the same; how different would your story be?

honestly, not different at all, because when it comes to it, the subject of trahison’s antagonist (s) is pretty complex.

iv. are any of your characters based on you, family, friends, or someone else you know?

oh, absolutely. my characters range between self inserts, to characters i wish i was more like, to characters that are essentially walking, talking, breathing love letters to the people i care about.

v. how long have you had your main protagonist(s) of your wip(s)?

I’ve been working with marin, nate and ruby for years, long before they were even called that and were a part of a dystopian crime novel (don’t ask). antoine joined them soon after, followed a while later by beth and isadora, and miles was invented during the plotting stage.

vi. do you prefer to write chronologically or just make a bunch of scenes and order them after they’re written?

it depends on what i’m working on and how serious i am about it, but if we’re only talking about trahison, then chronologically!

vii. imagine the problem in your wip is sorted out, how would the protagonist recount the story to their children if they asked?

with a far away look in his eyes and an uncharacteristic fondness in his voice, marin would turn to his children, and tell them how extraordinary his friends were during his university years—their zeal, their inquisitiveness, and conveniently leaving out the uncomfortable loyalty they all had towards each other, until time and life’s commands separated them.

viii. favorite (non-spoilery) line(s) of your current wip(s)?

This small bit of description, albeit a little purple prose-y, is one that i’m very, very proud of.

“ The morning rain had made its grave in the dirt, the bittersweet smell—like exotic black tea—rising into the air. It was the night pluviophiles came to dance. If I think hard, I can still taste the ghost of the raindrops on my tongue and sense Beth’s radiating warmth beside me; its own ghost ” - trahison, chapter three

ix. if your wip was a movie, could you see it be done in the 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s, or 2010s? why that decade in particular?

so, fun fact, i hadn’t decided when to set trahison (see: the big question mark in my plotting notebook) but i have recently made up my mind and decided to set it in the seventies! if it was a film, then i could see it being made in seventies france! very a la the dreamers.

x. are you able to just make up a story on the spot, or do you need help (plot generators or other outside influences)?

sometimes i’ll take the help of prompts or media, but otherwise i just come up with things on my own!

@emdrabbles

i. what do the names of your main characters mean? did you pick them for the meaning or another reason?

i picked the trahison characters’ names based on two things: how much it related to the character’s backstory or personality, and how pleasing it sounded out loud. here are the meanings of their names:

marin — of the sea

ruby — deep red; precious stone; behold a son

elizabeth — god is my oath

nathaniel — gift from god

antoine — priceless one; beyond praise

isadora — gift of Isis

ii. what book are you currently reading?

I’m currently reading the time machine by h.g wells!

iii. last sentence written?

“ When the end of the world comes — I’ll film it ” — copycat, or the one where i predict the future.

iv. who are some of your faceclaims?

i usually don’t use faceclaims, but if i had to choose:

marin van doren (trahison) — timor simakov

eloi hill (psychophantia) — maxence danet fauvel

cass parker (penny lane) — monica tomas

v. gimme some worldbuilding facts!!

alright, here’s one: in the world of psychophantia, not only is the magic system and your powers controlled by your morals, but so is your social ranking, your education, and any future you may have—to an extent.

vi. do you outline? if so, do you have a specific method?

i’m a plotter and only really work well with a solid outline, however, my outlines range from a series of messy, incoherent bullet points to meticulous scene-by-scene planning based around the three act structure. this post is my go to for plotting assistance!

vii. favourite author?

Like every tumblr user ever, i love donna tartt and maggie stiefvater, but i’m also a huge fan of f.scott fitzgerald, agatha christie and vera caspary!

viii. what is your oldest wip?

trahison! It went through many, many changes — from changes in genre to changes in character names, and there’s still a possibility that it could change even further.

ix. what is your favourite wip?

every wip i reblog under my #others. tag! You all are so damn talented!

x. where do you get your inspiration from?

everywhere around me! from conversations i have with people, from films and books i consume, from the music on the radio — i like that anything and everything can inspire me to create.

@pe-ersona

i. in one sentence, explain your current wip!

a group of secretive students attempt to become immortal, only to uncover the worst parts of themselves — and each other — as they do.

ii. was writing your main interest or did you have other interests?

although writing is my main interest (see: my social media bio on every platform ever), i also like to journal, sew, cook and make videos! my interests usually do have to do with the intention of creation.

iii. what’s your favorite genre to write? to read?

I love writing horror and mysteries. those are my favourite genres, but i also love reading a good contemporary romance!

iv. what is one goal you have for your wip this year? how’s that goal going?

to finish the first draft! so far, not so bad, though i do wish i could write more, but unfortunately, time constraints plus school restrict me from doing so.

v. how old is your wip? or when did you start writing your wip?

trahison is nearly three years old, but i only started writing the current version of it a year ago.

vii. what scene made you cry or laugh or both?

these lines made me laugh out loud the first time i wrote them:

“ Up the stairs stumbled Miles, my slovenly genius roommate. He grinned at the giggles and winked at the exasperated stares.

The gall of him!

I wanted to be him.

He managed to find his balance enough to reach our dorm. I immediately stepped back to let him in, and to make sure I was in no association with his uncomposed state. Nate gave a disapproving look at his back as he staggered in.

I took another step back, raised a pointed eyebrow, and closed the door ” — trahison, chapter three

vii. how many ocs does your wip have? who’s your favourite?

my main wip, trahison, has six main characters. out of the main six, my favourite has to be nathaniel. he is very much the epitome of pure, and sometimes i wonder how he ended up in the middle of such a dark plot.

vii. you have a brand new idea for a wip, what do you do?

brainstorm, brainstorm, brainstorm. scribble down whatever the hell pops up in my brain, attempt to link it together by a thin string of yarn, cross my fingers and hope for the best.

ix. you are having your first book-signing, where are you?

i’m in a small bookstore, nestled in a corner near the storage room. almost no one knows about this town, so the line is small but chatty, fans exchanging theories and analysing certain paragraphs. the sight of them makes me feel warm inside.

x. you have the ability to live in any book, publishing or not, what would it be?

would it be too cliche to say the harry potter universe? other than that, other worlds i would love to be a part of is the world in my novel penny lane, or in midst of a detective story.

@evergrcen / @septemberliterature

i. how did you come up with your wip’s title? what does it mean in relation to the story?

okay, so i discovered the word ‘trahison’ after hearing my french teacher say it, and immediately knew i had to use it for something. ‘trahison’ means betrayal or treason in french, which is one of the main themes in the novel.

ii. do you title your chapters? if so, what’s your favourite?

I don’t, but I would love to!!

iii. what’s a recent line you really like?

Not a very dramatic or noteworthy line, but here’s one from a poem i’m writing:

“ So the two of you get in the car, proceeding to have an argument with the radio ” — examples of easy solutions, or the one where the internet has no answers.

iv. are there any writing-related quotes you really like?

“i think a lot of art is trying to make someone love you” — keaton henson

v. do you have an idea for a cover design for your story?

A black background with serif text, that’s it. It’s simple. It’s mysterious. It’s the type of vibe I want to exude.

vi. what sort of au can you imagine your story being?

...dark academia au anyone?

just kidding. in all seriousness, though, i can see a royalty/political au for trahison, or a medieval fantasy au!

vii. which oc would be the most angry with you as the writer?

eloi. i really need to give that poor boy a break.

viii. if you had to tell the story from a different pov, which character would you choose?

ruby! she’s the token enigma of trahison, so i think her point of view would be very interesting to see.

ix. what would be your oc’s taste in music if they lived in our world?

OKAY let’s see:

marin — classic rock, so the who, queen, def leppard.etc

ruby — that one person who you’re pretty sure only listens to classical music, but is actually very attuned to modern day music. she would mostly listen to female singer-songwriters, so take lorde, marina, lana del rey, and other such artists.

beth — take one look at her playlist, and you’ll see that ninety five percent of it is mitski, while the other five percent is bedroom pop. she would like very tender, calm, cry to in bed music.

Antoine — same as marin, but add other modern day music artists with eclectic sounds, such as twenty one pilots, arctic monkeys, that sort of thing.

nathaniel — classical music, instrumentals, and film soundtracks make up his playlist. if it has sung words, he won’t listen to it. has little to no understanding of modern day music and is too scared to find out more about it.

isadora — 2000’s diva pop plays in the background of her life. rihanna is her go to whenever she gets to control the party. Don’t be surprised if ‘rich girl’ by gwen stefani starts playing in your head at the sight of her.

x. what’s one personal goal you want to achieve by the end of the story?

finishing it with pride!

#( FINALLY i've caught up with everything i've been tagged in ahhh )#games.#long post

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freddiesaysalright · 5 years ago

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Catching Up - Epilogue

A Joe Mazzello x Reader Fic

Summary: Reader met Joe doing an interview for Bohemian Rhapsody. Now, after a whirlwind romance, they’re married and have a family.

Word Count: 1K

Tag List: @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @jennyggggrrr, @somethinginthewayiam, @grandaddy-roger-trash, @rogerloveshiscar, @rogahloveshiscar, @danamaleksworld, @mrsmazzello, @reedusteinrambles, @rexorangecouny, @caborhapch, @kurt-nightcrawler, @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls, @queendeakyy, @hotttspace, @anxious-diabetic, @someone-get-a-medic, @psychosupernatural, @lizvxx, @cobra-anon, @anotherhystericalqueen, @sam-mercurry-sixx, @briarrose26, @ziggymay

A/N: Wow I’m like....really sad this story is over?? Thank you all for going on this journey with me and showing this story so much love and support. It’s made writing it so much more fun. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this ending. I wanted to truly wrap everything up. Hope you feel good about it :)

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X Part XI Part XII Part XIII

Epilogue here we go!!!!

Life with Joe and the kids was everything you ever hoped for. Your daughter, Grace, was born the summer after Joey turned two. He adored his little sister, and that held true through their childhood. You also got a dog. A golden retriever who the kids named Ramen Noodle. His nickname inexplicably became “Noods.” Joe found that hilarious, and when he was away shooting somewhere, he’d often text you “send noods” which meant he wanted a picture of Noodle and the kids. You also found this funny, but the kids didn’t get it.

When they started school, you stopped travelling with Joe when he was filming. He also took fewer jobs that took him away from his family. When he was gone, you made sure to FaceTime with him every night before they went to bed so he could tell them he loved them and goodnight. It was a big part of making your home - ensuring that everyone knew how much they were loved.

You also had a lot of fun. On days when the kids seemed particularly drained as they sat at the dinner table - from school or friends or whatever - you and Joe would look at each other. Smirking, you’d both call out “Rude night!” and everything was allowed. They could put their elbows on the table, eat with their hands, even belching was permitted and encouraged. Rude night led to a lot of laughter, so it never failed to cheer them up.

As the kids grew and started making friends, they found you and Joe absolutely embarrassing. You were pretty much always holding hands, kissing, tapping each other on the ass, and when their friends came over it made Joey and Grace hide their faces behind their hands. It was especially bad when you would re-enact cheesy movie scenes, like the time you were cooking dinner for the kids and their friends when Joe came up behind you and you did the “I’m flying!” bit from Titanic. The kids protested so much that Noodle started barking and you and Joe were in hysterics.

Out of everything, your absolute favorite times with your family were the holidays. Christmas was especially wonderful. The kids were helpful and thoughtful and so excited about the season. They really loved baking cookies with you and Joe. The kitchen ended up a disaster, but you had so much fun, you barely noticed.

One Christmas morning, when the kids were still pretty little, you and Joe watched them tear open all their presents and go to town, playing with everything all at once. Joe’s mother was with you guys that year, so they were excitedly explaining everything they got to her. You took that moment to pull Joe aside and give him his present from you.

Gently, he tore open the paper around the box while you smiled. He examined it.

“A camera!” he said. “That’s a great gift, baby, thank you!”

It was a nice, but simple DSLR. He pulled you in to kiss you on the cheek. He stood on your toes to whisper in his ear.

“Turn it on,” you said. “I may have broken it in already.”

He raised his eyebrows at you as he opened the box and retrieved the camera. He took a sip of coffee as he flicked the switched to on, but he nearly choked on it when the first photo came up. It was you, clad only in lingerie and staring seductively up at the lens.

“Shit, baby,” he said under his breath as he gazed at it. “You...you didn’t have to do this for me.”

“I know,” you said. “I wanted to do this for you. I love you, Joe. And you’ve given me a life I couldn’t even dream of.”

“I love you too,” he replied, pecking your lips. “I know how big this is for you. Believe me, no one will see them but me.”

“I believe you,” you assured him.

“Out of curiosity, who took these?” he asked as he scrolled through them, his breath catching at some of the racier ones.

“Lucy,” you told him. “When we were out there for Thanksgiving I told her I had no idea what to get you for Christmas, so she suggested this.”

He swallowed. “I am gonna send her the biggest thank you card.”

You giggled. “You really like it?”

He turned it off, unable to look at anymore until he could get you alone. Then he wrapped his arms around you.

“I love it,” he said. “You’re legitimately the coolest wife in the world.”

“Seriously, Joe,” you said. “Thank you for asking me out that day we met again. If you hadn’t taken that chance...we wouldn’t have all of this.”

“I’d do it all again in a heartbeat,” he said, hugging you close. “Every moment of it.”

You hummed happily in his arms. The kids came tearing into the kitchen from the living room, their grandmother close behind, and you and Joe separated and looked at them.

“Mommy, Daddy,” Grace said. “Can we watch the Grinch, pleeeeeeeeease?”

“Sure, sweetie,” you said, stroking her hair.

“Is that what you wanna watch, bud?” Joe asked Joey.

“Yeah, if it’s what Grace wants,” he answered.

You kissed your son on the head. “You’re a very sweet big brother, Joey.”

He grinned. Grace gave him a quick hug and then darted back to the living room.

“Grace, wait!” he called. “Nana said she needs more coffee first!”

“I’m just turning it on!” she insisted from the couch.

Joe fetched some coffee for his mother and then led her and Joey to join Grace. You watched, heart full. Everything in your life prior to Joe felt far away, as if it happened to another woman. In some other world. Like she was a character you’d read about in a book. And yet, every step you had taken led you to him, and who you were with him at your side. Your family looked at you expectantly as you stood there. You locked eyes with Joe and smiled before stepping forward to catch up.

#joe mazzello #joe mazzello x reader #joe mazzello imagine #joe mazzello x you #bohemian rhapsody #BoRhap #BoRhap cast #borhap boys #borhap imagine #bohemian rhapsody imagine #queen #queen imagine #John Deacon #John deacon imagine #john deacon x reader #john deacon x you #catching up series

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alia-turin · 7 years ago

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Title: Broken Bonds [Chapter VI] Previous chapters: Chapter I, Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV Chapter V AO3

Characters:

OC, Libertus Ostium, Cor Leonis, Luche Lazarus (mentioned), Titus Drautos | Glauca (mentioned), Nyx Ulric (mentioned), Gladiolus Amicitia, Crowe Altius (mentioned), Iris Amicitia, Prompto, Ignis

Warning:

NSFW, if you want to skip the NSFW part (not your cup of tea or whatever) it’s in the middle of the chapter, there is story before and after it so you can enjoy that.

Notes

Lot’s of things going on here. A bit of angst at the end, but overall I think it’s sweet and happy chapter.

Tagging: @birdsandivoryy @yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy @jojopitcher@fromunseeliecourt @lazarustrashpit @littlestfangirl @kairakara101 (tagging you because some time ago you asked me to tag you on Luche related stuff, that’s not 100% related to him, but there is something related to him in pretty much every chapter)

If you want to be tagged (or untagged) please do let me know. Tagging is not some exlusive club, so I’m absolutely not bothered by your requests to be tagged.

Here she was again in front of the Marshal’s office. She had agreed to his dinner – date, and now was waiting for him. In fact, she would have already walked in, if it wasn’t for the voices she heard coming from inside. Ada could barely hear Cor, or make up the words in this conversation. Occasionally she could hear ‘yes’ or ‘no’ coming from the Marshal, but the other voice, which sounded like old man nagging, was doing most of the talking.

“You will never learn, Cor.” The old man opened the office door in anger, and Ada could see the old man. That was Cid, Iris had shown her his workshop. The Marshal was leaning on his desk, staring completely blank at the man.

“Bad time?” Ada waited for Cid to walk out and invited herself in.

“There doesn’t seem to be such thing as good time.” Cor looked tired, not physically but as if his mind was way too weary. “He just treats everyone as if they are twelve.”

“We can cancel tonight?” She didn’t like the thought since she spent most of her afternoon preparing mentally, but also didn’t want to be bother.

“No, I need the distraction.” He grabbed his jacket and walked with her out of the office. “We need to stop at the hotel’s kitchen, Monica has prepared something for us.”

“Monica?” suddenly she got worries that someone else knew about their so-called date. Not that it was a secret or she wanted to keep it a secret, she had already told Libertus, but the idea that Cor had told anybody just sent wave of anxiety through her spine.

“Yeah I have no mind for stuff like that. She is my friend, assistant and and brain when needed.” He opened the kitchen door for her. Ada waited for him to walk to one of the counters and picked up a big plate cover with foil. “Let’s go.”

She didn’t ask where just followed him in silence, her heart beating faster than it should.

‘What’s wrong with me, it’s just dinner.’

Cor on the other hand looked himself. Calm, not showing much emotions. Eventually he led her to the roof of the hotel, which Ada thought at some point might have been a romantic spot being allowing you to see the stars, but now the sky was dark and the only light was coming from the city below them.

“We should be undisturbed here. It’s my favourite spot when I want to think in peace.” He explained and sat on the ground. Ada followed him, her heart still trying to break a hole in her ribcage.

‘I have faced demons and remained calmer.’

He opened whatever Monica had prepared and both made disgusting sound at the same time. The dish was literary a tentacle on a plate.

“It’s probably not that bad…” Ada decided to be brave and try it, grabbing one of the forks Cor had brought. It wasn’t that bad, but if she had a choice, she would have eaten something else.

Ignoring most of the questionable dish they spent the first hour or so talking about very general stuff. Weapons, magic, demons, how were stuff in Lestallum. Nothing specific and nothing personal. Ada wanted to learn more about him, about the man he was not just what everybody knew, Cor the Immortal, but that meant she probably had to open up herself which was the real danger. There were things she wasn’t sure she could explain if she was asked about and she certainly didn’t feel like lying to him.

“Tell me something.” He started after they decided they will never again ask Monica for culinary help. “Why did you join the glaive?”

“Seemed like the right thing?” she realized that’s not much of an answer, a bit of personal information wasn’t going to hurt anyone. “My family moved out of Galahd when I was fourteen. We travelled around for couple of years until eventually we ended in Insomnia. When I was eighteen someone spotted I had talent for magic, passed the whole recruitment and basic training process and at nineteen I was one of the glaives.”

“That’s terribly young.” He sounded impressed which stroke her ego.

“You were fifteen when you joined the Crownsguard, I was old compared to you.” Ada realized she has been staring at his eyes, not just looking but staring, and damn even in the dark they were bright blue.

“I was a brat prone to mischief with no talents but the talent to kill. You on the other hand are pretty, you have a good heart and you are not stupid.”

“That’s not true.” She liked the compliment but instead of saying thank you she just deflected it. “People love you, Marshal. You served two kings and a prince, you sat with them on council meetings you led people in battle and they loved you. That’s more than just talent for killing.”

“Don’t call me Marshal, my name is Cor.” He said that almost as if he was giving her an order. “And I might have counseled two kings and a prince, but two of them are death and the last one is missing. I’m not doing a great job.”

“You are doing better than any of us.” She wanted to reach and touch him, but somehow felt too intimidated to do it. Was it even appropriate to do it? Maybe too soon?

“Do you have any family left?” he changed the topic very quickly and Ada decided not to push. Better than anyone she understood that there were things that were difficult to talk about.

“Libertus.” Ada laughed. “My mother died before we moved to Insomnia, my father shortly after I joined the glaive. I had a brother but for some reason we fell out after I joined the glaive. He also passed away, shortly after my father. The Kingsglaive became my family. Made the loss of my real family significantly easier if that even could be the right word. Libertus is the closest thing I have to a family.” On the other hand, losing the glaive had destroyed her.

“I can relate to that.” Again, no expression on his face. Ada was sure she was doing something wrong.

“Tell me something nobody knows about you Ma..Cor.” she smiled as she corrected herself.

“I’m terrible at dates.” He smiled and Ada could feel herself skipping a breath at how handsome his face was with smile on his lips. “Regis and Clarus always used to make fun of me when I would go and ask them for advice. Clarus used to say that I can master any weapon in matter of hours but cannot master that ‘feelings’ thing. Thirty years later, he is still right.”

“You asked me out, it cannot be that bad.” He sounded so different talking about the king and his shield. There was nostalgia, pain and happiness in his voice at the same time.

“I know how to ask people out, I know how to make my assistant cook terrible dinner, I have another trick or two that I still haven’t pulled out of my sleeves, but somehow it all ends as one big disappointment eventually.”

“Let me guess, you are terrible at saying what you feel and have the tendency of surprising emotions.” She said it lightly enough so it would sound partially as joke but she was serious.

“Have we met before?” and there it was, genuine smile. And what a smile! Ada wanted to smile with him, but she just couldn’t. She was looking at him and remembering what Libertus told her.

‘He is perfect.’

“It was just a guess.” Technically it wasn’t just a guess but something she could relate to now. A year ago, she wouldn’t even be able to imagine something like that for herself, now she understood what he meant. “Now I know your secret.”

“Now you need to tell me something of equal value.” Just in these past couple of minutes both of them have moved closer to each other without even realizing. If she moved an inch she could touch him.

“I don’t have anything of equal value…”

“That’s a lie.” He leaned closer towards her. “Come on, could be even some silly childish mischief.”

There were of course of number of things she could tell him, but she was worried where that might lead. She had decided that everything Luche related will be off topic tonight unless for some reason Cor led the conversation there, she didn’t need to fall in a grim mood today.

“Fine.” She decided she was going to be completely honest with him even if that was going to ruin everything. “I have been terrified about today and that’s why I told you I needed time to think. I wanted to say yes the moment you asked me out, but part of me was terrified, I have been on my own, in every sense, for a year now, and just the thought of spending time with someone and being close to someone terrified me.”

“Two people having issues with their emotions going out on a date.” He smirked. “That is like the beginning of one of these romance novels Gladio constantly reads.”

“He reads romance novels?” Ada almost shouted in surprise. “He doesn’t look the type.”

“Where do you think he gets all his pick-up lines from?” for a second Ada thought the Marshal was serious about the pick-up lines, but just looking at his eyes made her realize he was joking even if his face was still completely serious.

At that time the guards at the wall changed and both of them realized it was getting pretty late. They decided to call it a night since Cor had to go out of town in the morning and Ada still had to work on getting more power for the outposts in order to have enough for Ignis’ restaurant.

“Thank you for not being too terrified and agreeing to spend some time with me.” He gave her a warm smile which made her legs feel extremely weak.

“Thank you for making time for me, even if you are probable the busiest person in Lestallum.” She responded but in fact all she wanted was to kiss him.

“You are the prettiest thing around, I’m known to have many issues, missing my chances is not one of them.” He smirked and she realized she was lost.

‘Fuck it.’ She had to step on her toes in order to be tall enough to reach his lips, but doing that also helped her get closer to him. It wasn’t the best kiss she had ever given, it was quick, just pressing her lips against his, but it was certainly better than nothing. Once she pulled away and opened her eyes he was staring at her, and for parts of the second she thought she messed up and that it was a mistake.

Cor, however, proved her wrong very quickly, not leaving her too long to wonder what was happening.

He leaned forward and kissed her, but this time was different, one of his hands was quickly placed on her lower back and the other reached for her chin pulling it down gently to open her mouth for his tongue. He was a good kisser, she gave him that, the way his tongue caressed hers made her moan and wanting more of him.

“That one of the ticks up your sleeves?” she asked him when he pulled his mouth away for both of them to take a breath, his hand was still holding her lower back, his body leaning over her making her feel even smaller.

“That would remain a secret.” He smiled and kissed her again, making a step forward which made Ada step backwards. Then another step followed, and another one, his mouth moved to her neck, his arms wrapped around her holding her firm, almost carrying her. He finally stopped as her butt hit something, it was the desk in his office. They were both breathing heavy and looking at each other.

“You should probably close the door.” Ada finally told him realizing she wanted him right now more than anything.

Cor didn’t need more clarifications on what or how to do it. He made a very small step back, kicking the door shut and taking his jacket off at the same time. He was back to her, his hands at her ass, lifting her up and placing her on the desk. Ada ran her hands under his shirt, feeling the muscles on his back. The Marshal pulled his arms away from her for a second allowing her to pull his top, only for her to realize that wasn’t one top but three.

“How many…” but before she could finish her sentence her eyes had stopped on his body. He was perfect. She could see every muscle on his upper body, lean and clearly defined his skin was covered in scars but that was just adding to his charm. She ran her fingers down his chest, touching his abs and stopping at the belt of his pants. Has breathing heavy making it difficult for her to think about anything else but his body on top of hers. He grabbed her hand in his just as she was about to undo his belt, kissing her fingers.

“Not so fast.” He pushed her on his desk, leaning over her giving her a soft kiss on the lips but then quickly moved down. He pulled her shirt up and kissed her belly, slowly moving up, his hands touching the sides of her body while pushing her top all the way over her head. Once that was gone his lips moved to her breasts, kissing the skin just where her bra was staring. For a second she panicked, the scar over her collarbones was within his sight, and true enough he probably had seen it as soon as he pulled her shirt off, but suddenly she had to fight the urge to just push him away and cover that part of her body.

It was all forgotten very quickly as he reached behind her and undid her bra with a swift move, throwing it somewhere in his office. His kisses continued, his lips moving to her nipple. She moaned loud, arching her body toward his, feeling the hardness in his pants. Cor didn’t seem fazed by any of that, he ran his hand down her body and as skillful as he had taken her bra off, unbuttoned her pants. Ada tried to do the same for him, even if from her position was a bit harder to reach for his belt, but he just grabbed her hands and pinned them over her head.

“I said not so fast.” He whispered in her ear and placed a kiss on her neck. His fingers had already found their way in her underwear and he was very slowly started rubbing on and around her nub. He had stopped with his kisses, but his face was almost touching hers, his eyes not moving away from hers. Ada knew she could lose herself in that pale blue storm that was his gaze.

He moved one finger inside her making her bite her lower lip and pushed her lower body towards him wanting him to do more. Cor had other intentions, he was going slowly and he was so damn good at that. With every with every measured move of his hand she could feel herself getting wetter than she even thought possible, her legs wrapped around his pulling him closer wanting to feel every part of him on her skin. Cor pushed second finger in her making her moan louder. She suddenly realized they might not be alone around and attempted to pull one of her hands to silence the sounds she was making but he was still holding them firm over her head. His other hand was moving faster making her body arch and twist under him, the moans coming from her mouth were harder to control.

“Marshal…” She whispered between heavy breaths feeling herself being very close to coming.

“My name is Cor.” Just as she was sure that would be it he pulled his hand away from her making her stare at him in confusion. He let go of her hands so he could undo his belt, Ada just watched him admiring his body and subconsciously memorizing every little detail.

He might have been very slowly and patient with teasing her earlier, but he got rid of his pants and underwear with incredible speed. Soon he was on top of her again kissing her lips and slowly pushing in her.

“You are terrible tease.” She smiled between kisses, feeling his length going deeper and deeper in her.

“I just like taking my time.” As soon as he said that he pushed in her harder, making her almost scream from pleasure.

Similar to his previous actions he started very slowly, looking her in the eyes and caressing her face with his fingers. He was gentle in a way that surprised her. He had the reputation of a hard man but right now he was gentle, loving and attentive.

As he picked up the pace he moved one hand between her legs and starred rubbing where she was feeling most sensitive. Ada almost screamed feeling his fingers there, but Cor kissed her passionately, pressing his hard chest against hers.

“Cor…” she bit her lower lip trying again not to scream but he was pushing faster and harder in her and his fingers were making her lose whatever little control she had over her body. He either didn’t hear her or pretended not to, since all he did was just look at her with a very alluring grin on his lips. Her fingers were digging into the skin of his back, her legs were wrapped around his urging him to go deeper into her. Couple more minutes and she could feel familiar pleasant sensation crawling through her body, her muscles contracting in pleasure, her mind absolutely blank but for the amazing feeling between her legs.

Somewhere within that mist of pleasure she heard him saying ‘fuck’ his controlled and rhythmic moves became more erethic and spontaneous until he finally came as well, his body almost limp on top of hers, his breathing heaving.

They both stood like that for few moments. Cor was still collecting himself, Ada was lazily running her fingers through the skin of his shoulder blades.

Slowly he lifted himself up, his eyes still fixed on her.

“I can offer you a cold shower and a warm bed.” He pointed toward a door at the back which she assumed was leading to where his bedroom was.

Shower was quick and not very pleasant considering the water was freezing, but once they both dried themselves being in bed turned out to really compensate for it, Cor was lying on his back, his arm wrapped around her body, Ada’s head resting in his chest.

“Where did you got that?” the tip of his fingers traced the scar crossing her collarbones.

“A boyfriend.” She knew that question would come. It wasn’t a small scar and it has been in front of his eyes for most of the night.

“You don’t strike me as the type of girl who will let a guy do that.”

“It’s complicated.” How was she supposed to explain that? “I did try to kill him as well.”

“So, what happened?” he moved his fingers away from the scar at started caressing her shoulder.

“He…” she really didn’t want to talk about Luche, not now, but on the other hand he had to know. “He happened to be one of the glaives that betrayed the king. The glaive to start the thing, not taking the captain into consideration. He sent email to everyone pretty much saying how much he is done with the king and what he plans to do. I confronted him, we had verbal disagreement, it grew into physical disagreement. He almost killed me.”

“What happened with him.” To his credit Cor didn’t seem disturbed or angry at any of that. Part of Ada actually expected he would kick her out of his bed and Lestallum.

“I didn’t know for very long time, according to Libertus, he tried to put the ring of the king and died. I guess we all get what we deserve at the end.” Thing is she still wasn’t sure Luche got what he deserved. Sure, he betrayed the king and her, but was that worth his death. Then again Nyx certainly didn’t deserve to die either but here they were. “Your scars make far better story I guess.” She smiled, and ran a finger through one of his scars close to his abdomen, it was a viscous looking reminder of a deep wound.

“Not as much. Most of them are courtesy of Gilgamesh. Some of them I even deserved.”

Sleep had come to her shortly after and she found herself in another dream, another memory that was surly going to be ruined by her mind.

It was getting late, they were celebrating another victory and mourning their losses. Most of the Glaives had gone home with handful exceptions who were mostly sitting around the tables alone or in very small groups. Luche sat next to her, way too close. He was obviously drunk.

“Come I will take you home, you cannot drive like that.” Ada tried to pull him up but instead he gripped her arm and prevented her from getting up.

“Your hair reminds me of home” he completely ignored her and clumsily grabbed few locks between his fingers.

“You are too drunk.” She tried to get up but he leaned against her.

“You smell of home.” He insisted. “Like the sea and the woods.”

“Come on, I’m driving you home.” She finally managed to pull his limp body up. She had never seen him like that. Tipsy, yes, but never drunk to a degree where he seemed unaware of his surroundings.

“You cannot drive me home, Galahd is too far away to drive me there now.”

“The other home.” She walked him out of the building and as expected at that point her dream went crazy. They were on the street in Insomnia, she couldn’t recall which street or where in Insomnia but she could swear it was there. Luche was standing in front f her, burning.

“You should have followed me.” Even if his whole body was covered in flames, his clothes and armor melting into his skin, he didn’t seem in pain. Luche made step toward her and grabbed her wrist twisting it so hard she could hear it break, the flames started burning her and the pain was intolerable.

“Please let me go” Ada tried to pull away but he was inhumanly strong. “Luche, please, let me go.”

“You betrayed me! I thought you will follow me, but you betrayed me for what? The Marshal? We could have gone back to Galahd together!” he pulled his gun with his free hand.

“No, Luche, please..” the pain from the flames was getting too much, it was all over her arm and it was crawling toward her chest and face. “Please kill me.”

“No, you have to suffer.”

She opened her eyes, staring into the darkness. Cor’s arm was wrapped around her body and she could feel his breath on her neck. She couldn’t fall asleep again and just spent the time thinking about her dreams and would they ever leave her in peace.

#cor leonis #final fantasy xv #ffxv #gladiolus amicitia #final fantasy comrades #ignis scientia #prompto #cor #gladio #ignis #luche lazarus

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vivicnism-blog · 8 years ago

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did i just see (EMILY RATAJKOWSKI) walking down sixth street ?! oh, wait, it’s just (VIVIAN KILINSKI), the (24) year old (CIS FEMALE) (STRIPPER) who has a reputation for being (EMPOWERING & HONEST) but (COLD & STUBBORN). let’s hope (SHE) prepared to take on the wild ride that is austin, texas. / (chloe, 18,she/her, cst)

*guess whos back by eminen plays* guess who’s back, back again, shady’s back, tell a friend.

alright i’ll stop. Anyways, it’s chloe, (i play my other bby elliot) with another gut-wrenching character. vivian is a revolution and gonna take austin by storm. jk she just wants to be left alone, but plot twist she’s problematic as heck !! we’ll get into that in a bit...

(( WARNING THIS GOT SO FUCKING LONG I’M SORRY ))

no one really calls her vivian unless ur sharon (and no one is sharon but sharon, so back tf up m8) everyone just calls her vi or viv or if ur her brothers, v-dizzle.

born in pheonix, aizona, vi was born to stanley and amanda kilinski. mandy was a nice jewish girl from the bronx who had moved to arizona for college. stan was a straight up army man, discipline to the core. they were married and popped out four kids, then when vivian was 2, her mother filed for divorce and went back to new york. the kids stayed with dad tho! whether that was best or not, you can decide.

(( FAMILY BIO BEGINNING. YOU DON’T GOTTA READ IF U DON’T WANT TO, BUT IT’S IMPORTANT ))

mom came around for like, holidays, and called on birthdays. they were so dramatically apart, though, it was difficult. their father was a well-payed realtor. mom, though, worked in a bakery as far as she remembers.

now, viv was rlly young when her parents split, so all she’s known is just having her dad around. it was tougher for her brothers though. ernest was the oldest, and he always took it hard. which causes an issue for later. u will see

dad loved the italian culture. since he was straight up polish, his parents having fled after the second war, he didn’t really get it until he was in his own house. The family took vacations every other year to florence, dad cooked weekly dinners of different italian cuisine. and always drank italian wine. so what did good old stan do ??

married an italian woman of course !

and in short, god bless sharon banchi.

vivian was about 7 when they were properly married. they’d met on one of their family vacations and did that whole long distance thing for a while. Sharon came from a vineyard and a family of money, so she’d visit yearly. Eventually she just moved in. she was beautiful, and younger than their father (not by much, but she had youthful skin and he was a single father of four, so he always looked older)

ernest and norman, the two oldest, hated her. always playing pranks and shunning her son marco (who just about the same age as vi-- they quickly became friends)

but fun fact daddy was in the army for years and took non of their shit !! discipline and respect was vvv important in the kilinski house !!

(( BACK TO THAT GOOD SHIT ))

anyways, boring fam shit over. sharon’s cool, marco’s a bro, vivian has a family finally. and it’s a high fucking testosterone house okay !!

she was !!! raised !!! to !! suppress !! feelings !!! bc crying’s not manly. real men don’t cry. vivian was raised to be a real man ok !!

*sidenote: the only time you’ll see our girl follow rules is in that house it’s all straight poster and ‘yes sir’s there. but fuck the rest of yall.

this is already getting so long i do apologize

but high school was kinda rough. u know, she was a babe, she was loud and rlly stood her ground. boys followed her and she was like ??? never ?? really ?? into it ??

but she kissed one in a movie theater sophomore year so people would stop talking

didn’t date anyone until people started whispering midway through junior year. She let joey truman fuck her at jessica abernathy’s winter party. it sucked. but at least they stopped calling her a d*ke

PLOT TWIST SHE IS THO EEEWHOAOAOAOAA

this is never something vivian really thought about. she never gave herself the option to explore the possibility of liking girls because it was so OUTRAGEOUS that she’d simply stop at the rapid heartbeats she got from kelly welch, the flyer on her cheer team.

BUT LMAO DON’T WORK LIKE THAT HUH B ??

after high school, she was going to college at university of pheonix. just to mostly get her generals. she had no idea what she wanted to do, or what she liked.

but her creepy brother’s friend could hook her up with a /real/ nice job. which, sounded terrible, but her dad was hounding her ass about getting a job and making money and had to move out by the end of the month so to stripping she went.

it’s real awful she hated it. but hey, it made really good money and her student loans went down.

so she graduated with a bachelors in business and marketing. had no idea what to do with it. she was still stripping. and honestly, she didn’t want to have to start over, you know ? she had a nice fucking place and could afford real nice clothes and jewlery. when u make bank, it’s hard to give it up

the actual job sucked tho. with all the control and harassment and vi hatd her body most of the time and worked until her core felt like it was going to burn but her lady friens said her abs were sick so bonus, right ??

but oh no, then SHE came along

oh ya it’s one of /those/ plots

she was tall and beautiful and talked to vivian like a real human being and then also put her in her fucking place. she was an angel. a true grace of god. vivian was absolutely in love with her and this girl knew it. this girl took vivian by the strand of her hair and dragged her along for the best, gayest ride ever. sexually liberating, emotionally freeing, viv finally saw that she wasn’t a sexual and emotional void. like she could feel something for someone.

BUT HAH THAT GIRL WANTED TO MAKE IT OFFICIAL AND AFTER LIKE A YEAR OF RUNNING AROUND U KNO IT MAKES SENSE TO HOLD HANDS IN PUBLIC BUT UH NO VIVIAN ISN’T GAY

so they had a huge fight, people were starting to find out. before it could get back to her dad or her brothers, vivian stomped on her heart and ran away

TO AUSTIN. WHERE SHE STILL STRIPS. bc she likes diamonds. and also kind of hates herself so getting that self loathing validation help her thrive. so she thinks.

and she’s still deep deep in the closet

THIS GOT SO LONG I’M SO SORRY I’M REALLY SORRY. BUT PLS I CAN PROBABLY RECAP THIS IN IMS IF U WANNA PLOT JUST LIKE THIS I LOVE MY BBY SO MUCH. I HAVE CONNECTIONS IN MIND BUT THIS GOT WAY TOO LONG SO I’LL JUST BE ADDING THEM HERE SHORTLY.

#atxintro3 #//#i didn't meant for it to get this long....

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swipestream · 6 years ago

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4 Funky Fungi to Liven Up Your Game (And A Few Ways To Use Them)—Part 1 of 2

This is as pretty as mushrooms get. Fair warning: it’s all a horror show from here on out. Image Courtesy of Pixabay.com

Beneath the soil they wait, oozing digestive juices to liquefy and absorb any edible material hapless enough to fall in their path. Silently, patiently, they spread hidden tendrils thinner than a hair under the ground, linking threads to form an invisible net below the feet of the hapless humanoids lumbering above them. Relentlessly, they burrow through the ground. Growing, consuming, they bide their time over months, years, centuries, even millennia until the time arrives that they burst through the ground, hurling copies of themselves into the air and preparing to begin the cycle once more.

Sure, this is a workable description of any number of ancient evils in fantasy gaming, but it’s also a pretty solid way of talking about the fungi you probably have in the patch of ground nearest to you right now. What we think of as “mushrooms” are really only formed by a small fraction of fungal species;

…in fact, the “mushrooms” that we see are just the mechanism by which fungi spread. This means that Toad from Super Mario Brothers, myconids from D&D, and any other mushroom creatures you can think of are just ambulatory reproductive organs, and the Smurfs village is basically a scene from a Saw movie.

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in fact, the “mushrooms” that we see are just the mechanism by which fungi spread. This means that Toad from Super Mario Brothers, myconids from D&D, and any other mushroom creatures you can think of are just ambulatory reproductive organs, and the Smurfs village is basically a scene from a Saw movie.

The majority of the “body” of a fungus is its mycelium (yes, like the network in Star Trek), which grows out in all directions, seeking food and forming a network within the soil. This underground network exists in nearly all areas with vegetative life, and in addition to decomposing materials that would otherwise pile up, it is used by plants as a kind of external digestive system, forming a symbiotic relationship whereby plants can gather food and nutrients that they can’t reach with their own root systems. There is even evidence that this network of fungi is also used in a form analogous to communication between plants, forming what is sometimes called (and I could not possibly be more delighted to tell you this) a “wood-wide web”.

Until around 1960, fungi were considered to be plants — which makes sense; they grow from something that looks like seeds, and they don’t move on their own. However, later science determined that they were much more closely related to animals, just completely immobile and without any sort of muscle tissue — which really makes me wonder whether I might technically be a fungus. They store energy as glycogen (like animals) rather than starch (like plants), and their cells are given rigidity not by plant-based materials like cellulose but instead by chitin, the same material that makes up the exoskeletons of insects like cockroaches. Yum!

Fungi can be medicinal or poisonous or delicious (or sometimes a combination of any two of those things), and the difference between a good dinner and an early grave is sometimes a matter of how they’re prepared. Indigestible or poisonous mushrooms can be rendered edible (or at least less harmful) by any number of techniques. I’m not going to go into more detail than that because a) this is the Internet, and no one should try to do this kind of thing based on the advice of an RPG blog, and b) even if that were a good idea, I’m the absolute last person who should be giving that kind of instruction. With that in mind…

Warning: mushrooms can kill you.

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Warning: mushrooms can kill you, just like they were rumored to have killed the Roman emperor Claudius, the Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI, Pope Clement VII, and the composer Johann Schobert. And that’s just some of the famous people. About seven people per year die of mushroom poisoning in the U.S, and hundreds more are made seriously ill. Even though there are pictures in this article, and for the most part I tried to find reasonable approximations of what the fungi in question looked like, this is not an identification guide. I can’t even match my socks in the morning, and I can barely avoid killing my family when I cook for them even when I don’t use potentially poisonous ingredients — do not take anything I say as adequate reason to put these things in your mouth.

However, describing such things is not only safe, but extremely cool. And with that in mind, I present to you 8 Funky Fungi To Liven Up Your Game (And A Few Ways To Use Them).

Mind-Controlling Ant Fungus (ophiocordyceps unilateralis)

Strangely, the animated “Antz” movie left this scene on the cutting room floor. Is that reference dated? I feel like that reference is dated now. Oh, well. Look it up.

By itself, there’s nothing especially new or interesting about a fungal infection. If you’re alive, which I assume most of you reading this are, you are already host to a dizzying array of fungi, yeasts, and other creatures that call you home. They’re like roommates (good or bad). They do their thing to varying degrees of intrusiveness and stink. You also do your thing, and if you’re too incompatible, one or the other of you gets evicted. Cordyceps is more like that friend who visits from out of town and suddenly surprise! They’re moving to your city and need a place to stay. First they start eating all the food out of your fridge, then they start making demands, and before you know it, they’re trying to hollow you out and turn your body into a nutrient paste they can use for reproduction. Which is not, in fact, something that everyone does, Harold.

This particular species of Cordyceps infects carpenter ants, and then even while eating them alive, hijacks the nervous and muscular system of the ant, forcing it to travel to an appropriate piece of plant cover, climb to the ideal elevation for reproduction, clamp on to the grass with their mandibles, and then die. The fungus continues to spread within the ant, before eventually sprouting out of the long-dead husk and throwing its spores to the wind, beginning the cycle all over again. Some scientists think that the ants may be cognitively unaffected during all of this, and that the mechanism is actually a little less like mind control, and a little more like being controlled like an agonized marionette from within. Nature is amazing.

Potential Game Use:

A prodigal son from a local farming community finally returned, but the day after his tearful homecoming, he wandered into the woods and disappeared, only to be found again a week later dead, hollowed out, and filled with a mysterious powdery substance that creates a powerful feeling of well-being when inhaled, even accidentally. The heroes have been called in to investigate the case, as local law enforcement has no idea what is going on.

At first, all signs point to a horrible drug deal gone bad, until the characters find several locals attempting (and maybe succeeding) in stealing the mysterious powder, claiming that they feel compelled to share with their friends and family. “Addicts” at first violently resist any attempts to prevent them from taking or spreading this powder, eventually becoming a kind of hive mind that exhales spores onto the PCs. If not helped, the entire village will die in agony, possibly spreading the infection to other nearby areas.

In such a story, there are plenty of opportunities for medical or nature rolls (to determine the nature of the illness or the drug), social rolls (to determine that individuals are being non-magically mind-controlled) and constitution-type rolls to avoid infection. Potential solutions include spells curing disease, exotic alchemical reagents, introducing another fungal or bacterial species to counteract the infection, and good old-fashioned fire (for games that tend to be a little darker in tone).

Candy Cap Mushrooms (lactarius rubidus)

Sure; when a mushroom hunter finds something on the ground that tastes like maple syrup, they’re “nature-loving” and “exploratory,” but when I do it I’m “too old to still be doing this kind of thing” and “need to put on pants.”

Edible mushrooms, by themselves, aren’t all that much to write home about (unless “home” has a mycologist, in which case you should definitely write home to make sure you’re eating the right ones). Edible mushrooms that make for a workable ice cream flavor start to get a little more interesting. Where lactarius rubidus gets really fun though, is after the initial consumption. When dried and then reconstituted, this mushroom tastes like maple syrup (because, it turns out, it produces the same chemical that is used to make maple syrup flavoring—now who’s being unnatural, Canada?). The real magic happens later, when the sweat and tears of people who eat the mushroom start to smell like maple syrup as well. It’s like someone with more imagination than impulse control stumbled across a wish-granting leprechaun and demanded a combination of dessert and cologne, and I’ll be darned if the little guy didn’t make it work.

Potential Game Use:

The characters are invited to a feast by a local fae noble. Because interactions with faeries in folklore and fiction are one part entertainment to three parts weaponized manners, eventually, a character is going to insult someone. To keep this adventure from feeling too “on the rails,” feel free to use a character loosely associated with the fae whom the PCs have insulted or irritated previously. For a little foreshadowing fun, include some sort of massively dangerous but largely mindless beast in a cage, leashed or otherwise bound near the tables as the characters eat. After the feast, the heroes are offered an especially delicate and exotic dessert mushroom, which is also given to the dangerous creature. The creature immediately tears into the dessert mushrooms with terrifying abandon: think “Cookie Monster” meets “Sharknado.” Because players aren’t dumb, they will almost certainly check the dessert to make sure it’s not poisonous, magically or otherwise trapped (which of course, it’s not), and/or wait to see what happens with the Hungry Hungry Horror. Offer the character some sort of minor benefit for eating the mushrooms — healing, one additional use of a power, or whatever form of play currency is used in your game (e.g. inspiration, conviction, XP). Keep track of what characters eat the mushroom and how many they eat.

Following the meal, the characters discover the delightful side effect of the mushroom — they smell exactly like the delicious dessert they just consumed thanks to their unrefined humanoid biology. Their fae hosts, of course, have more refined digestion. As the characters look on in horror, the fae lord at the head of the table lets the leash slip on their pet monster, who lunges at the nearest character while the nearby court of fae watches and applauds. This is a fairly straightforward mostly-combat encounter, but with a lot of potential fun in the form of set pieces for combat. Think flipped tables, improvised weapons, flying crockery, and lithe, mocking figures darting in and out to make things more “interesting.” This may also be an opportunity for more socially-oriented characters to use their charm to request assistance from particularly engaged onlookers.

Octopus Stinkhorn (clathrus archeri)

Apparently, they smell as good as they look.

To the right, you will see a picture of what I absolutely swear is not only a fungus, but the single grossest fungus I have ever read about (and that’s including a species coming up in the next article that grows exclusively on herbivore dung). The Octopus Stinkhorn begins its visible life as a slime-covered bolus of egg-like material with its forming tentacles barely visible. Eventually, the tentacles strain against their “egg” and burst outward, covered in a thick, black-brown goo that smells like rotting meat. The stench attracts nearby flies and other decomposers, which wander around on the surface of the tentacles, picking up spores that they drop elsewhere (basically pollination, as imagined by Clive Barker).

Potential Game Use:

Look. If you’re going to have something sprout up unexpectedly from the ground that looks like Cthulhu’s dust bunnies, you might as well lean all the way in. Something unclean has been here before. “Here” can be the site of some sort of horrible sacrifice, sacrilege, or slaughter, or it can just be a case of “wrong place at the wrong time.” As another straightforward combat encounter, it’s hard to beat a tentacled creature that can unpredictably reproduce from any spot on the ground, but the real challenge will come in the form of the creatures that are attracted to and defend the Supernatural Stinkhorn. Take this as an opportunity to drag out every gross monster you’ve ever wanted to use. Giant cockroaches? Go for it! Slime molds, gelatinous cubes, worms that walk? They’re all fair game, and they’re all making heart eyes at this festering mound of thrashing goop. Every successful strike results in everyone within 10 feet getting splashed with putrescence, triggering some sort of constitution-type roll to avoid either taking damage or losing the next round heaving breakfast onto the ground.

What’s more, who’s to say what characters who take damage from such an attack might not themselves be the source of the next infection?

Bioluminescent Fungi (~80 species)

Preeeeeeeety sure this is a Photoshop job, but you get the idea. Glowing mushrooms: They’re A Thing (TM).

I almost didn’t include bioluminescent fungi in this list. They’re such a cliche that it’s almost not worth it. But there are about 80 species of bioluminescent mushrooms, and that’s a pretty big chunk of the fungal kingdom to just leave out because everyone already knows about them. So, with that in mind, yes. Glowing mushrooms are real, and there are a bunch of them, and yes, they all look very, very cool. Do yourself a favor and do an image search of them sometime.

Potential Game Use:

Lighting is a sometimes-underutilized part of adventure and encounter design. I can’t count the number of modules and supplements I’ve read that treat lighting as sort of a throwaway — there’s almost always magical ambient lighting, or unexplained torches (which are, if you’re a sucker for verisimilitude, extremely unlikely), or sometimes no lighting at all. Which makes sense on a certain level — much like encumbrance or precise weapon details, not everyone likes thinking about and tracking questions of visibility in exploration or combat. However, I propose that if you’re looking for a quick and easy way of making things interesting in an otherwise bog-standard dungeon or cave, start caring about lighting. Have unseen things chittering in dark corners, or drips just out of eyesight, or things darting out of view as soon as the characters get too near.

Another consideration: do your players have darkvision? Of course they do. If it’s a fantasy game, pretty much everyone has darkvision. Things without eyes have darkvision. A soup tureen has darkvision in some rulesets. You know who doesn’t have darkvision though? The large group of frightened prisoners the characters may have just freed. Alternately, some puzzles or clues may only become visible when viewed under the light of a specific species of mushroom, the identification and gathering of which can be an encounter all by itself. For an extra “wow” factor, consider making a homemade blacklight to represent the mushroom’s glow, and using lemon juice to write a hidden clue, message, or even whole puzzle.

In Conclusion:

Fungi are really, really neat and can add to just about any fantasy game, above or below-ground. They’re terrifying, dangerous, delicious, poisonous, useful and frustrating in equal measure, and if you let them, they can give your game a touch of alien whimsy that few other things in the real world can. If you’ve enjoyed this article, come back in a couple of weeks for Part 2, where I give four more kinds of fungi you might want to use in your game.

In the meantime, do you think you’ll be using more mushrooms in your games? Do you have a favorite fungus (or a suggestion for me to cover in the next piece)? Let me know in the comments!