#but it was sooooo fun. why havent i been doing this more

[iucemon]

"I'm so hungry" you say, foolishly. (clank clank clank clank) "how hungry 👀"

I'm not great at translating 3d objects, but their helmet is supposed to be this shape

Kinda a robosona, kinda an OC. Somewhere in between. They are the person I become when I am In The Zone (kitchen). It's too hot to make curry, but I can't stop thinking about it...

I went with the concept of a humanitarian aid robot (who goes to disaster zones and makes tons of food for the affected) who runs a cooking blog in their off time. The bell pepper shield is meant to double as a cutting board/serving plate (it's the future, I'm sure they've figured out how to make surfaces that automatically clean themselves, lol)

Colors wise, they are literally curry and rice. Plus red/orange/yellow bell pepper, spinach, and carrot (the belt embellishment is meant to read as one of those decorative gems megaman loves so much, but also it's totally a slice of carrot)

I couldn't resist giving them a bowl hat (no actual curry in it tho, it's just colored that way)

[brutal-nemesis]

bro said

Spiderwebs #22: Vanity

Masterlist

content: implied starvation

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

This was a good sign. Their first excursion had been a success. Jackie was starting to warm up to her. He wasn't happy, but he was getting used to the operation of things, and that was all she needed. He had even buried a body with her, which was an impressive development considering their rocky start. Cooperation and compliance—that was all she asked of him.

“Can I eat that?”

Jackie’s voice brought her back from her thoughts. He was sitting on her sofa, legs curled up, staring at the sandwich on the table like it would run away if he blinked. Such an ordinary, domestic scene. What was Heather doing? What had she done? Why had she kidnapped a man, then killed another? She was sure there was a good reason, but she could remember it in the morning. Right now… food. Right. Giving Jackie food.

“Go ahead. It’s all yours.” She had disposed of her coat, and Jackie had disposed of his gloves. She now sat across from him, on a chair she’d retrieved from the kitchen. 

“Thanks!” He took it without hesitation and ate quickly, his body angled away, guarding the precious treasure of a single sandwich. As if she was going to take it from him. It was a bit uncomfortable to watch, especially as he was covered in dried blood. 

She stared at nothing at all, as he ate. What other experiments did she have to perform? The paralysis compound had been perfected, at that point. She’d done a few dissections on the jars of organs, and found little worth noting. She still needed to find the source of the immortality—that was something. Something to occupy her. 

Jackie had finished eating a long time ago. He was now giving her a curious look, trying to decipher what had captured her gaze. He had such captivating eyes, such a pretty face—not that Heather thought… well… in any case, this was irrelevant.

“You’re filthy,” she said casually.

He sounded genuinely hurt, or at least confused. “Excuse me?”

“You’re covered in blood, I mean.”

“Ah, yeah.” He cleared his throat and grinned again. She could tell he was scared. Startled, for whatever reason. The smile didn’t reach his eyes. “You’ve got a bit of something too. Over there—no, higher—“ He put a finger to the edge of his face.

“Thanks.” Heather wiped her face, though she doubted that would remove the stain. “Are you still hungry?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? People usually eat dinner at this time.”

He shook his head. "I’m fine. I don’t eat much anyway.”

They lapsed into silence. Heather couldn’t think of anything to say. It was the fatigue, she decided. It had been a long day. Small talk came sparse after a murder. 

Jackie was the one to break it. “You’re not so bad. I guess.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean—“ He took in a sharp breath. He spoke with a gentle yet adamant air, as if he was attempting to give her advice. “I don’t know. You’re okay.”

“How touching. Didn’t you threaten to kill me once?”

“I’m mercurial, alright? I’m a sensitive soul.” He shrugged. “Besides, you’re one to talk. You have mood swings, like, every day.”

“I don’t—“ She thought about this. “Never mind.”

He began to pick at the edge of the sofa, at the seams of black leather. Fluffy white pillows surrounded him like the petals of a lily. Behind the curtained window, the light slowly drained from the sky. The clock on the shelf carried the seconds past them, tick-tick-ticking faintly in the background. The sound seemed to echo. Her house always felt empty, even in the presence of other people. And it had been so long since she had lived with other people.

She wasn't alone anymore, but she felt no difference. Her home was constantly quiet. A kind of reverential silence, the silence of churches and graveyards, sticking to the walls like mold and hollowing them out. Jackie didn’t have a very active presence there, after all. Four months, and this was the first time he'd seen the living room. 

That was not an accident. It was safer to keep him in the basement.  It was easier. Still, Heather thought he needed the fresh air. He was starting to get restless, fidgety. He didn’t sleep much. Was that normal? She didn’t know much about people. Just the inner workings. Birds and dogs had to be taken outside their cages sometimes, or so she’d heard. Even rats liked to run around, but Heather’s subjects usually died before that ever became an issue.

And there was the topic of Jackie’s growing weakness. Despite his attempts to hide it, his fragility was obvious to Heather. It did not surprise her in the slightest. To regrow entire limbs, to replace entire organs—well, it would take a toll on anyone’s body. He didn’t eat enough, of course. And God knew what those drugs were doing to him in the long-term. 

That wasn’t a bad thing, necessarily. If Jackie could physically overpower her, he could escape. And that wouldn’t do. Along with the usual fear of incarceration came a stronger hunger, a stronger want, something stronger than she was used to. What did she want, exactly? It was hard to say, looking at him, still a sort of stranger regardless of their time together. She didn’t really know Jackie, did she? He was still a subject to be studied. That’s what she wanted, maybe. Answers. 

“I think you should take a shower,” she decided. “I’ll show you to the bathroom.”

“Shower?” he echoed. “Just a shower? It’s not an experiment?”

“No. What kind of experiment is that?”

He didn’t answer. “One last thing. Does your bathroom have a lock? I know—“ He held up his hand, as if she was about to protest about what an offense this was. “I know, just… does it lock? From the inside?”

“Yes, it has a lock, and all that.” She gave an exaggerated, exasperated sigh, more out of habit than anything. “I’m not a monster.”

He didn’t seem to understand, but he nodded.

See, she was capable of kindness! There you go. That was her generosity, over and done with. Nothing more needed to be said. She showed him to the bathroom, then left him to sort whatever he needed out.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

He came back about twenty minutes later, in which time Heather was able to scrub most traces of blood from the house, and dispose of the chainsaw, which she had thrown into the river as well. She then waited in the living room again, watching the clock. 

When Jackie returned, he looked unsure of himself. Less scared now, more overly polite. He sat back down on the sofa, significantly cleaner, hair still damp and curls heavy, hands clasped together in his lap. He couldn’t quite meet her gaze, but didn’t quite glance away either. Didn’t say anything, didn’t ask about anything. Watched, listened to the clock.

Though Heather shouldn’t have, she found his wary respect a little amusing. She couldn’t quite believe that she was intimidating, that she held any sort of power over other people. Other people always appeared as a paradox, or else as immaterial, indistinct shadows. Trying to catch smoke, trying to control light sparks, trying to capture the brief sounds from the next room. That’s what other people were—always in the other room, something she wanted to possess but could never grasp. But here was Jackie, in the same place and time as her, maybe not totally under her control but at least a little put-off by her presence. 

“You have a nice bathroom,” he offered.

He was just trying to make small talk, she figured. “What do you mean, nice?”

“The soap looked expensive.”

She’d seen him nearly every day for the past four months, at least once a week, but this was the first time that she really felt curious about him. Thought of him, not in the context of a drug or dissection, but as his own person. How many layers to that nesting doll? People were all so complicated...

“How are you?” she asked instead.

“Tired.” That was it, a monotone answer. “Heather, can I go outside again? Tomorrow?”

“I don’t know about tomorrow.”

“But eventually?” He spoke earnestly, and now Heather knew this was like the small talk—he wanted, not the truth, but just something. Something to hope for, something to keep. “Soon?”

She nodded.

Heather never thought about her other subjects like this. The dog bones went with the garbage, and that was the end of them, the moment where they stopped to exist in any meaningful way. That was necessary. A necessary separation, a mental blockade. If you thought too much about anything, if you let your logic run its complete course, then you’d fall into an inertia that would never lift. Maybe all this contemplation was bad for her, like candy was bad for your teeth. But it was so sweet, wasn’t it? The thought of knowing someone so deeply. 

“Well, then.” A little curiosity was fine, but she needed to know when to quit. Heather stood. “It’s late. We should go to sleep.” 

He stood also, after a reluctant pause. “Okay.”

She thought of pinning him to the wall and breaking his neck. Holding him and watching him die. Holding him, a living thing, a real person in her home and in her arms. Catharsis for this tension. It came on as a papercut does—there, all of a sudden, welling up red, meaningless and shallow but too sharp to ignore. Ah, it was all his fault. He was making her feel things. She hated him for it. He was too good at it, with that poised little frown, that wide and wary look.

Instead of enacting this, she swallowed, picked the thought off like a scab. “I’ll take you to your room, then.”

He nodded, so unaware of her feelings, so oblivious. That was for the best. Their relationship was purely professional, but she still wanted him to respect her.

It was laughable, she knew. Pointless. What he thought of her didn’t matter in the end. That was vanity, plain and simple.  But they could find some common ground, couldn’t they? This could work, this would work, over the months and days, even over the years. They would find something to share. A life, to share. A life and a home, quiet though it was, unnatural though it was. A compromise of sorts.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Taglist:

@theelvishcowgirl

@lthrboy

@whumpy-wyrms

[maria-ruta]

I love your art and this blog, your oc designs are very alive and have a soul...i wanted to ask, as a russian speaking person learning spanish, im interested, how has your spanish learning process been so far? Any general thoughts or experiences, было бы любопытно узнать😄 желаю вам удачи и здоровья в непростые времена

Thank you very much!!! <3

also heeeeey comrade!

I started learning spanish from Duolinguo, bc i think its good for beguiners, when you know literrally nothing

I've been doing it for 1 year+ but then dropped it after finding out they use ai now X)

some other nice apps for learning spanish that i have (but havent used much recently since im lazy ass...) - spanishDictionary.com, ConjuGato, Reword

tbh I've got the most of the progress in learning by having to talk to people on daily basis and going to school. I found free classes in Buenos Aires for adults/immigrants. I already finished one year of primaria (primary school) and now im on my first year of secundaria (middle+high school). we have several different subjects a week, like language and litreture, healthcare, civil education, neonatology (i decided to take medical oriented classes bc why not)

I don't know where are you at the moment, but if you are in spanish speaking country, try to search for free classes like that. There could be information on offical goverment city websites and such

also argentinos are just very friendly and talkative people so after figuring out I'm from different country (usually just by looking at my blue eyes potato nose white face lol) they love to ask me tons of questions and I'm usually happy to use it as practice X'D

even been invited to several parties where id have to speak spanish bc nobody talks english lol. good for practicing

as for spanish itself - i find this language very fun! for me it feels like somewhere between english and russian. lots of things similar to english, lots of basically same words, but also verbs and adjectives have many forms and there are gendered pronounces to all nouns, just like in russian, and also you can make cute lil words! thats my favorite, that i miss when i speak english! so I find it easier to learn third language, when i already know 2

but I still have to learn sooooo much! I'm basically good at using only present simple time and a little bit of past simple,,,, but i havent mastered other tenses yet. My level isnt enough to watch whole movies in spanish or understand people that talk very fast, and i make shit ton of mistakes, but I'm only on my second year of learning spanish so... its okay

also learning is never linear. some days i feel like i get stupider than i was before and forget what ivealready known, but then in few months i suddenly start to understand more! its interesting!

also of course now i start to forget words in all 3 languages hahah funnnn X'D

idk what else to add

желаю вам успехов в испанском и получать удовольствие от процесса! me alegro ver otra persona rusa que quiere aprender espanol tambien! <3

[wingkink]

ok ok tlovm dump post so im not making a new post every time i have any thoughts

they didnt have to animate the dragons Like That . but they did . <3 for us

omg wait i fuckin. forgor about vorugal. sorry top 5 all time fight i dont even care. hey what do you mean the plate of the dawnmatyr has felled dragons before. WHY IS THE PLATE IN ANKHAREL.

ok sure change stuff <3 like whatever

they couldve. made the wing emerging/retracting animation more erotic . for the boys.

if they dont give us the stealth roll walk of shame i will kill myself btw sorry.

ok sorry to keep talking about this WAIT SHAUN ok got sidetracked a sec there anyway. what, narratively and /or thematically is the reason for putting the plate in ank'harel as opposed to the cloak. and i think im missing one. ripley had 2 no? OH whisper. god i am so sorry. also jmon canonically HAS a vestige and it's none of those . so what are we doing here. maybe all will be revealed. im still gonna complain tho dw

like WHERE is ripley at this point anyway.

this bitch did not just say "emprex". I WENT BACK HE DID. KILL YOURSELFFFFFFFFFF

please financially compensate me for this

are they BREAKING IN to the palace. im fucking crying . actually to be honest i dont remember how they got in the first time. i literally only remember like 2 things from ankharel OH RIPLEY <3

robbing jmon is so much more insane than robbing a random merchant who has the cloak. OHHHHHHHH THE CLOAK BABYYYY

Black Cabals believers are fucking winning soooooo big . everyone who said it was red can seethe. omg orthax! ok im remembering so many fun things hahaha

no kynan im noticing. did that not happen in lovm?

it's so important to remembering watching this + the e2 intro especially that vax is going to die that end. like to keep that in my heart and soul and mind at all moments. are those snowdrops. fair enough man

i am sooooo scared to see jmon. im putting my beautiful delicate sensitive soul in their hands here.

sure. ruby of the sea. whatever

i LOVE YOU cabal's ruin!!! also i finished my chocolate milk at this point so the rest of the episodes are going to get worse reviews.

kaylie <3

yay percy built a bomb

btw havent said it yet but im sure this portrayal of marquet is suuuuuper respectful and everyone is really happy about it

OHHHHH they are beautiful. god i want them so bad . i dont know if i fw the voice!!! but the eyes are perfect . the height!!!! what's with the baby dragon tho!

hey they can put that tiara on me any time. dont like the implications of them having it !

SHUT UP. DONT CARE. SHOW DRAGON

STOP ZOOMING ON PERCAHLIA.

SHOW. DRAGONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SEX SCENES

NOT THAT DRAGON

"oh omg they said zerxes omg" OK WHATEVER. ARE WE GETTING DEVOSSA OR NO

oh ok theyre back at whitestone . ok whatever ! i'll kill myself! who cares!

"our future is clouded with misery" yeah!!!! helll yeah brother! let's get that bag!!

also the decision to make the sex scene explicit is crazy. i need that elaborated on immediately

i just remembered the spire also. im rusty. do u think theyll bring yenk back from the hells to fight vorugal. genuinely fight of all time

interested to see how this goes!! being hells rather than plane of fire

oh i am remembering so much that percy is TWENTY THREE. he shouldve been at the CLUB

WAIT RACHEL HOUSE?????? ok bro whatever. guess anyone can be in this

ok i fw indira varma as allura so much

just to summarise. no devossa, not addressed at all that they even exist beyond vex's dragon sense going off briefly . no mention of previously killing thordak. no offer to help. no flute. what are we fucking doing here man

[vajazzly]

20 asks for fic writers

i was tagged by @plecotusauritus and @kaaaaaaarf <333

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

three right now!

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

43,458

3. What fandoms do you write for?

marauders! i used to write a bit for haikyuu but not in a while

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

honey sweet

shovel talk

summer came early

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try to! i havent recently tbh and i dont force myself to but i like to

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending

uhhhh maybe honey sweet? just because they dont live near each other lmao

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i feel like its also honey sweet bc theyre pretty happy at the end, but (spoiler alert) summer came early is gonna have a happier ending if i ever finish it

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nah. i think the worst ive gotten was someone being mean to sirius in the comments of summer came early but it wasnt really mean, maybe just me being a little annoyed that someone dislikes summer came early sirius bc hes my fav

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yessss ofc. i feel like what ive published so far has been like, vanilla by ao3 standards, and i wanna write more kinky shit in the future lmao

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

nahhh not my thing personally

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no!! i have thought about trying my hand at translating honey sweet into spanish for fun, but i dont think im quite at that level lol

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

noooo but me n bat always have some shit we are mutually hallucinating. most notably walburga mommy vlogger atm

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

this. is really hard. like obviously i love wolfstar but also prongsfoot and wolfstarbucks (duh), and ive had drarry brainrot for a while now, and my love of sakuatsu will never fully leave me and neither will everlark so..... yeah idk

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

oh man. i have a LOT of unpublished unfinished ideas hidden away in my google drive. like. a LOT. summer came early seems a bit daunting rn, but i do think i will finish it eventually.

16. What are your writing strengths?

mmmmmm id probably say dialogue? and humor.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

PACING. oh my god i feel like my pacing is always janky. also i think i have the tendency to like, write in things that dont necessarily need to be there, scenes that dont really do a lot of legwork plotwise.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

if i speak the language im down, but if i dont i think i would definitely need to consult with someone whos fluent.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

haikyuu!! i purged most of the fics i wrote for that fandom years ago from ao3 and theyre never returning lmao

20. Favourite fic you've written?

honey sweet for sure. i enjoyed writing it SO MUCH and i adore that version of wolfstar + jily sooooo much

i am once again a bit late to the game with this tag thing so open tag!!! (yes, you)

[kozzax]

Ok ok ok

Favorites rn are Jade, the Carapacians (especially Jack Noir and Peregrine), Nepeta, Terezi, Vriska and Roxy (I love women moment)

I actually really love acts 1-3 and it reminds me a lot of a show i like called RWBY, where the first three seasons are chill and then the tension ramps with higher stakes. Big fan of looking back at the past and crying cause the characters were so innocent back then.

Btw anyone who says you can skip straight to act 5 to see the trolls is LYING!!!!

I like the ancestors rn, in the "they're sick legends from the past" way, I havent met the dancestors yet.

The scratch is interesting rn I dunno if i'll be able to tell completely how I feel about it till I see more of its affects. I can see why live readers didnt vibe with the Alpha kids all the way, but I'm really liking them so far. My opinions may change when they get into the game we will see.

Also WV my beloved <3 <3 <3 Such a good soul he's so brave and noble and he lead the rebellion against the Black King and kept the White Queen's ring for years what a guy!!!!

I AM SOOOOOOO SORRY FOR HOW LATE THIS RESPONSE IS LMAO. sorry. my adhd meds have been in limbo for a week and a half. everyone can tell.

You're so right though on like. Everything here lmao. The thing about Homestuck is that it just has so many really good women in it. I may be a captors stan because I have big emotions about their relationship with apocalypses but like. The women in homestuck are simply just So Good. I thiiiiiink PM is probably my favorite homestuck woman and Nepeta is my second though. If I was forced to choose. Wait no I forgot about Aradia and Kanaya. Ohhhhhh boy. How do you pick. They're all simply WONDERFUL.

I'm sooooo glad you enjoyed WV but also don't get used to him. He's never brought back properly again until like act 7. For a few seconds. It's miserable being a WV fan during act 6 because he's treated as less than a person and the fact that he's a WAR VETERAN WITH PTSD ABOUT THE WAR HE FOUGHT IN AS A REVOLUTIONARY LEADER is ignored completely in favor of LOOK! Pet for dave and karkat!

As an archival reader myself I loved the alpha kids. They're fun!!! They're delightful little idiots. I'm deeply curious about your opinions on Jake English, actually. I've been known to have what some people might refer to as strong opinions on him. Incredibly strong opinions on one particular aspect of him that may only be implied in canon but like guys it's so incredibly heavily implied in canon I'm obsessed with it.

Hope you're having as much fun with act 6 as I did when I first read it which. Ok admittedly I didn't like act 6 as much on my first readthrough because the specific flavor of romance drama was Not as engaging to me but in retrospect I really love it.

[its-no-biggie]

OMG ive been summoned!!! okay okay lets see

first off. getting this one out of the way. i havent voted yet but i swear to god if calculus is winning right now im gonna be /pissed/ (not really lmao). not because its BAD or anything, i enjoyed learning about it, but its sooooo overhyped as The Hard One when conceptually its not even that interesting. wooaahhhhh find the area under a curve!! revolutionary!! like yeah the calculations are long and often difficult ESPECIALLY once you get into multivariable calculus but like. it gets way too much hype for what it is.

im tempted to vote algebra for how foundational it is but thats a boring answer. same with functions and relations. im also not voting for trig because i tutor high schoolers and im sick of it tbh. its basically just geometry a little to the left anyway.

ok at first i kinda skipped over geometry but you know what. thats a little unfair. euclidean geometry is generally very boring but higher dimensional geometry? hyperbolic or circular geometry???? where would we be as a society without klein bottles and mobius strips and hyper cubes and hyperbolic crochet. anyway if youre reading this you need to play hyperbolica its a simple puzzle game a la portal but instead of thinking with portals you have to think in hyperbolic space. where space has more. space. everything looks a little distorted and it totally fucks your spatial awareness its so fun. even something as simple as a maze becomes difficult because when you turn left 4 times you DONT end up where you started and it just doesnt compute in your brain. also the npcs are little robot guys and its so cute and charming. 10/10 excellent game. anyway yeah im not voting for geometry because a lot of it is boring but it does have its moments!

i went to university for statistics (well. technically actuarial science but its pretty much the same thing) so im a bit biased towards it. but its definitely the most useful kind of math for the average person to understand (aside from basic algebra) but its also like. really wild that it works?? that you can collect a big chunk of data and then determine correlations between variables with a high degree of accuracy. its basically the antithesis of what people think of math (rules and hard logic and one correct answer) but its still so rigorous and useful and so so important to understand

but more than statistics i am a huge fan of matrix theory. i really love matrix operations theyre SO SATISFYING and just really fun to do. especially when you apply them to linear algebra and solve a really messy system of equations that cant even be conceptualized on a graph.... augh its great. and its also one of the few kinds of math that i learned with a bunch of different number systems pretty much right away (bc its related to cryptography so using binary or mod 5 or whatever is actually useful) and that was really refreshing!! i love using different number systems. im not sure why its grouped together with set theory but i do also like set theory, its really fundamental like algebra (although its not nearly as well taught as algebra) and a lot of the operations are really unique so it kinda opens up what math is when you start learning about it. and of course there are a lot of number sets that i really like but that doesnt really have to do with set theory itself lmao

ANYWAY i think im gonna vote matrix theory. theres a few really interesting ones that arent listed here like game theory (ever heard of the prisoners dilemma?), topology (did you know that a mug is the same as a donut? also a straw definitively has one hole), and graph theory (i dont know that much about graph theory tbh i just think it looks really cool), but i really love matrices. i mean come on like

that rules. objectively that rules

[satoruhour]

I loved your answers to my last questions! 😭❤️❤️ I'll be asking more questions if that's alright with you :D

1.) What is your go-to Starbucks drink? + What do you Satoru’s Starbucks would be?

Ooooo ik! ☝🏼✨️

2.) What are some personal HCs of Gojo that you think would be canon? (It can be cute hcs, sad hcs, etc) 😄

3.) What are your plans for the weekend?

4.) Any book recommendations you would like to share? + Music too <3

5.) What is the # 1 thing that makes you happy? (It can also be a person or place) & why?

of course gigi!! i always love answering questions hehe

1. i always drink a caramel frappe bahaah and ooh im not too knowledgeable about sbux drinks frankly but im sure he’d drink something similar to mine or just something insanely sweet, definitely with a shit ton of extra caramel or choco drizzle!!!!

2. oh i have sooooo many but it would flood this post. i have a hc gojo runs either cold or hot, no in between, but mostly on the colder side bc of infinity and such. i also hc that he uses infinity to hold his hair up and also a crack onw where he doesnt shower bc of infinity and just 😭😭 has very specific food tastes, i mean ofc he would like the sweet stuff but when it comes to fruits too, he can tolerate sour fruits but it cant be TOO sour or hes not eating it 😭 apples have to be the correct consistency too so if it's too mushy he'll push it to u for you to eat LOLOL. thinks about suguru a lot and always goes over what he wouldve done if he noticed sooner, wears his hair tie around his wrist :(( also have kept geto's room clean and neat and sometimes goes in there to just lay in his bed. his scent is far gone but he can still sense cursed energy and sometimes he wonders if the curses his bsf collected were looking after him (ill leave it up to you if you think that cursed energy belings to kenjaku or simply geto's spirit)

3. sleeping innnnnnnnn lol my body clock likes to wake me up too early and im so tired from last week's performance 😭 at least then ill have more energy to do my essays

4. i havent been reading much, but cloud cuckoo land by anthony doerr, any book by cecelia ahern, un lun dun by china miéville, i personally loved frankenstein ngl, daughter of the moon goddess by sue lynn tan (altho it's a classic love triangle and i hate love triangles but i always love me a good book based of chinese mythology. havent read the sequel!), the secret history, P&P by jane austen is pretty good too

5. gojo LIKE. partially true he just fills me w sm joy bc i love him as a character sm! this is intangible but music. i love love love music sm it shapes me sm as a person and i think ill be a very boring person without music. i cant. i love it sm you guys cant fathom 😭. my mom!! i love my mother very much :) she has been nothing but loving to me and im 4ever grateful for that. in regards to place, anywhere quiet. there was a subway near my dance studio before and it was my no. 1 place to stay and study but they moved out :(

ty gigi omg it was so fun answering this i wrote them halfway ytd and i fell asleep 😭😭😭😭😭 <3

[taotaoirl]

galatea x gn!reader general headcanons

yes i have fallen down the idv rabbit hole there goes my grades (ノωヽ) i havent seen many galatea headcanons yet (why are all of them norton and joseph hcs wtf) so ill do it myself bc head empty only galatea my beloved <33333333333 who doesnt love themselves a disabled woman with dwarfism and 47 mental illnesses am i right!

content warnings: none includes: fluff, romantic headcanons for galatea~! reader uses they/them pronouns, galatea uses she/her pronouns

"she looks just like a dream, the prettiest girl i've ever seen"

galatea can be really shy and reclusive sometimes bc she has a fi-si loop (a fi-si loop is where an infp relies solely on their introverted functions and become hypercritical of their past mistakes and is stuck in this nostalgic timeloop kind of situation but i digress)

since she had been in an asylum for so long, she's very used to her own company so it took her a while to put her guard down again

but once she does, she's a completely different person!

her love languages are quality time and gift giving! she just loves your company and enjoy moments in silence too

galatea gives huge cat energy ngl i can imagine her being very selective but is able to be herself with the people she's familiar with (she's actually rlly nice!!!!) (until she gets jealous but i'll elaborate on that some other day)

she also gives little spoon energy and i think she likes being cuddled bc it makes her feel safe, add a few pecks on the top of her head and she will cling on to you forever

she isn't too big on pda bc she's more inclined to having more alone time with you but she will squeeze your hand whenever she passes by you <3

but she's also very very easily flustered, give her a kiss in the middle of the match, she's beet red

if you are a pda kind of person, she'll still agree to it, although she'd probably be embarrassed quite often

she isn't the best with words but she's trying her best! she prefers expressing her feelings through actions/art/handwritten letters bc she's just not very verbal

she likes to play with your hair and if it's long she'll french-braid them bc she can't do french braids on her own hair (she finds it difficult ☆⌒(> _ <)

she will definitely make a LOT of statues of you, there's probably enough of those to fill up the entire manor with

she won't keep all of them tho bc she thinks she's not doing you justice if your statue is even slightly lopsided or imperfect

galatea often catches herself staring at you, it's a little creepy but she just likes to people-watch and improve her statues even more bc you're her favorite model

galatea adores art and history museums so definitely bring her to one if you have the time to!

but in the manor, i think galatea would bring you to watch the sunrise in the garden and once the sun has risen she'll show you her favorite flowers emma has planted

she's also quite interested in sketching and if her s/o likes it too, expect to go on some quiet dates where both of you just sketch outdoors

i hc galatea to have a sweet tooth so expect a lot of chocolate and various kinds of desserts to randomly show up in your room with no note, nothing, just dessert (she probably decided to save her desserts for you aw)

(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

tldr; galatea is kind of reclusive but once she opens up to you she's sooooo cute dhfsd she just wants the best for you and isn't afraid to share her interests with you!

sorry for how long this is! i kind of got carried away bc i have a LOT of thoughts about galatea DFHDUF, i just think about her a lot (yes hello this is your poster galatea defender) nevertheless, i hope you enjoyed!!!! this was really fun to make and definitely a switch-up from my genshin sexuality headcanons (￣▽￣*)ゞ i will most certainly do a lot more identity v headcanons in the future because i just can't seem to stop thinking about this stupid mobile game lol

[iheartmyipod]

wat r ur thoughts on frontiers so far??? i havent been 2 invested in recent sonic stuff but im watching a live playthrough and the atmosphere is sooooo cool it def seems like a step in the right direction 4 the series XP

dont want 2 spoil someone accidentally:P VVV

OMG LITERALY ITS SOOOOO GOOOOD sum aspects kf it reminds me of unleashed which is awesome 2 me cus rhats one of my faves… i dont pay much attention to actual gameplay in sonic i mostly like the storys and characters but frontiers is supeeer fun and i love being able to explore and do the challenges and the stages are pretty cool too … im not the best at them thiugh…. Seriously ive been talking myselr so much about how much i adore it its like they made a game just for melina i never play video games but this is so so fun to me. I was kind of confused at first tho ill be honest it is overwhelming with how big the islands are (im on the second one right now i forgot its name:P) but ithink im getting the hang of it its SO FUN EXPLORING SOOOO FUN and i like how sonic even mentions he likes how muchcroom there is to explore … omg the characterization im not too sureabout for amy i dont know if its her voice or what but THAT IS NOT AMY ROSE! I always get sad when she is written as more mature i miss 12 year old amy…She is so sweet though i still love her forever.&knuckles is so silly i love seeing sonic knuckles interactions OMG jusy so happy to see sonic characters talking to eachother and being friends i LOVEEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also sage js so interesting i have no idea what is going on with her i didnt keep up with anything about the game before it released cus i didnt want spoilers but i like her. Very interedting veeeery interesting i like how they bring back phantom ruby stuff(i assume) along with lore established in sonic adventure i think it really ties the world together in a way i always craved im so hapoy they are building more on chaos and angel island and master emerald lore seriously … ALSO I LOVE THE DESIGNS FOR ALL THE CREATURES SO MACH OMG the koco are adorable i want keychains of them and in the second island the enemies are so sick oh mai god . … the little kocos true old form or whatever look like chaos mademe go nuts i got so excited i wonder wat it allll meaaansss…. Hopefully i will FIND OUT! Also the msyic so badass im so hapy after i finish the game i know i will be listening all the time its just too good>< i love how huge the game is too and there is socmuch you can do in it if you want to. Also im super into the weather and time changes i think it is so cool but makes you think sonic is staying awake for days and in the rain so gross he needs a shower .. I HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO SAY THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS ASK I HAVE BARELY TALKED ABIUT IT TO ANYONE Nothing beats sonic adventure though🤷‍♀️lets be real.actually i miss sonics adventure attitude wah but i think in frontiers it is kind of saying they are older and not so much kids anymore which could explain why amy is like that… still not into it personally but i always think its interesting to hear them acknowledge past events.okay im done.okay. ITS JUST SO COOL before it came out i kind of thought i would not apply anything in the game to how i view the sonic world in my head (cus thats how i feel about sonic forces LOL i just ignore it) but its surpriseing me how much i like it i havent liked a sonic games  world building this much since sonic unleashed ... still i dont think frontiers will be like the basis of sonic for me but it gives super intruiging bits and pieces that i will hold on to forever in my brain. OKAY.i played at schol today in my math class its so hard playing in public cus i need to chill💆‍♀️OKAY IM DONE. okay but also like for me i usually dont really care much for new sonic stuff i like the old stuff wayyyy more but i agree this game is like a huge good step for the series GAH OKAY

[happyk44]

#THE TAGS YES YES YES THIS IS SOOO SMART#I AM SO INTO THIS #I’m planning a rewrite and i have piper as a daughter of eros! #and in my head she’s given the option of either staying with the ares cabin or the aphrodite cabin (while the eros cabin gets built ig) #and i kinda forget that pluto/hades borders the minor and major gods since hades is one of the big three but not rly on the olympian council #but also i feel like bc hazel is also favored by hecate or whatever #she’s also on the border between minor and major gods in that way?

#leo and frank i havent considered as much #for frank im fsr SOOOOO attached to the fun little dynamic of having mars and ares warring in his head in SoN #but i also feel like bellona or honos or nerio or victoria or virtus would be fun options!!!! #and like. generally i ignore the whole ‘kidnapping nike’ thing bc yeah i ignore a lot of things in HoO including much of BoO #but imagine frank kidnapping his own mom. im sorry im just. JSBSKSBSJS dying of laughter over here in the corner

#however leo. ohmygod ive never even really considered another idea for a godly parent for leo but PROMETHEUS. YEAH!!! #we’d have our first demititan!!! and since tlh is only a few months after tlo it would show how affected the demigods at chb are by the war #bc rather than the love and acceptance and family that leo is shown in canon when he’s claimed by hephaestus

#he’s going to be met with distrust and hostility (and possibly people saying he was in the titan army or that he doesn’t belong at chb) #and i think not only would that be a really cool thing for his character with prometheus’s role as the creator of humankind #but also over the months between tlh and moa. as he learns to trust himself and his fire powers chb begins to trust him more and more

#wait sorry im back again i have more thoughts #ignoring my idea of the ares and aphrodite cabins sharing custody of piper #i feel like it could also be vv fun if they were both forced to stay in the hermes cabin #the hermes cabin was probably the most affected by luke’s betrayal and it would be interesting to see how they’d react to demititan leo

#idk even if piper still stays in the ares cabin or the aphrodite cabin we’d still end up getting two very different looks at how chb #has been affected by the titan war. bc the aphrodite cabin is still probably dealing with silena’s betrayal. clarisse is probably #still dealing with losing silena and possibly thinking it’s her fault. the ares kids might have beef about the war in general and the fact #that silena pretended to be clarisse to get them to help and then died a ‘hero’ despite being the spy

#i feel like seeing the difference between ares and aphrodite cabins in their reaction to silena and the battle of manhattan would be vv fun #also just. imagine piper having to deal with reporters and stuff trying to pry and figure out who her mom was #and it turns out she’s got two dads. i wonder how tristan remembers/justifies it???

#also LEO LEO LEO DEMITITAN LEO#i have soooo much beef with caleo but. i do like the idea of them becoming friends ok #and i do like the idea of leo promising he’d come back for calypso bc he recognizes the lack of autonomy she has in her situation on ogygia #and it reminds him of the lack of autonomy he had in foster care and wants to help her the same way he wishes someone had done for him #and i feel like there’s even more of a connection there when you consider that they both have a titan for a parent #and that makes people think they’re untrustworthy. that’s why calypso is trapped on the island. i feel like drawing that parallel between

#calypso and leo and their situations would be sooo compelling #also there are other roman gods related to prophecy and if it weren’t for octavian’s actions somewhat being a catalyst for toa #then i would say he should be a descendant of carmenta or something instead of apollo via @heartsick-stranger

I love the idea of Jason being mistaken for a child of Jupiter because of his relationship to Thalia (if they're still related) and his lightning powers, being trained by wolves and sent to camp where they realize somehow, oh, wait, he’s just some other god’s kid, nevermind, and that blow off pushes him even further to prove himself and that he is capable of leading a cohort, and later camp, and the pressure of being the best becomes a self-inflicted thing rather than something that was foisted on him. It would also create a parallel with Luke, and give greater agency to his rivalry with Percy because he worked hard to prove himself a child of a minor god but Percy just walked in and had leadership handed to him. It also can still maintain Jason's arc of shedding leadership responsibilities and becoming his own person, even if it's something he chose because Jason's core value is not wanting to let people down and that doesn't change whether the charge of being leader was a decision he made for himself or something he was pushed into it.

But also! HoO would've made much more sense if Piper and Leo and Frank were not children of Olympians. We know that 1) the big three have the tastiest scents to monsters which is why many of them don't live very long, 2) the other Olympian kids have very noticeable scents as well which makes living on the outside difficult and 3) children of minor gods are implied (if not outright stated) to have some trouble living outside of camp but they don't attract monsters as much. There's no way that monsters would’ve left Leo, Piper and Frank alone for so long, especially with the extra powers that they have, unless they were the children of minor gods (or a Titan).

You could make an argument about Frank living in Canada, or something about how his scent is confusing to monsters because he has so much tacked onto him from other pantheons. But I mean even Percy was talking about wrestling snakes to death as a toddler and other weird “mishaps” that had happened to him in childhood. We get zero implication of the same for the three stated above. I mean arguably Piper/Frank should’ve run into a bunch of monsters because they never moved around and so it was like a smoke signal to monsters vs Leo’s constantly moving tracking pad (but even he should’ve run into something, right?)

PJO: we need to recognize the value of the minor gods. The Olympians are important, sure, but the minor gods do a lot of work in maintaining and assisting the pantheon, have their own kids and deserve to be seen and valued just as much

HoO: Back at it again with Olympian-only nonsense!

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Okay so, as some of you may know Ive been working on making subtitles for the german dub of Black Butler and Ive been having a lot of fun and I just got to the end of episode 3 and I realized "oh. oh boy I might have some trouble doing this huh" becuase. okay, see, when I watched this series for the first time it was because Ive heard of Sebaciel as a ship and it sounded interesting and so I watched it and I really enjoyed it. Soon after I entered this phase where I inexplicably thought the ship and the anime (I havent read the manga at the time) by association was insanely cringe ?? I dont remember why, but I do remember going to the local book store a few times and just seeing all of the manga lined up and like, wincing and looking away really quickly and just generally doing my best to ignore its existence. And like, I know that wasnt because of the age gap (I mightve been turned off from reading too many fanfics bc most of them dont/didnt age Ciel up but I didnt consciously register it as wrong or even weird at the time) bc my english wasnt good enough to hang out in the "main" fandom spaces (where most people speak english) and people in german fandom spaces just dont seem to have that kinda discourse so it never occured to me to think about stuff like that. But whatever, so I had this phase and after a while I was like "hey, I kinda forgot most of what actually happened in Black Butler, maybe I should rewatch and see if I still like it now that I thought Sebaciel was insanely cringe and then just kinda stopped caring about it for a while" and I really enjoyed it once again, EXCEPT this time I was basically like "man why does everyone only talk about Sebaciel (and yknow, all the Hot Guys ofc) when like, the plot outside of that is sooooo good?? people are so horny how embarrassing man". And THEN I rewatched it again like, a few weeks ago (and I also got the manga and I watched the musicals n shit its a full renaissance babey) and I once again really enjoyed it

So, my current "take" on Sebastian and Ciel is that I do not ship them romantically. however. I do think their relationship is incredibly fascinating and the "shippy" moments somehow make me lose my mind even more than when I actually romantically shipped them. Like, during this moment at the end of episode 3 where Sebastian repairs Ciels ring and goes "This ring is meant for your hand alone" I was fucking clawing at my keyboard like I Am Normal About This I Am Normal About This I Am Normal About This I Am Normal About Th and I could barely translate it so that was an issue

And then we get this closeup of Ciel and I just immediately snapped out of it because

Hey. hey, buddy. why are you wearing those earrings to bed

[zmayadw]

Evening to all :)

Time for the next part :)

Have a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 10

I woke up with a terrible taste in my mouth. I had no clue what time was it, but the sun was out already, making me squint my eyes. I got in sitting position slowly, banging in my head intensifing with every move i made. Ugh, i'm never drinking again, i scolded myself. Squinting, I focused on the little alarm clock that was on the night stand. 10.34. Whoa, i cant remember the last time i slept this long. I got up from the bed and went to the bathroom. I filled the glass with wather, rinsing my mouth a few times before gulping down two glasses. My stomach growled at it, i just hoped not to throw up .Taking a shower would be a wise thing to do, so i just threw the clothes i had off and entered the shower. The warm water felt good, i just let it pour over me for a while. I wrapped myself in the towel taking some painkillers for the headache. Getting back to the room, i dressed up, and sat on the bed. I felt a bit better, but still not enough. Coffee, i tought, thats what i need now. I got up, going for the purse i threw on the floor when i got in, searching for my phone. Shit, i cursed, it wsnt there. I checked every pocket, even Jake's hoodie, but my phone was nowhere to be found. Crap, i probably left it at a the Aurora last night, when Jessy and me wer taking pictures. Or at lest i hoped so. Well, i was going for coffee, so i could stop at the Aurora eitherway. I grabbed my backpack with drawing stuff. Who knows, i might be up for some drawing, no matter I still felt woozy from last night drinking. I putted my sneakers on, grabed my stuff and car keys. Walking wasnt an option this time, i wasnt feeling well enough for it.

When i parked my car infront of the Aurora, I saw Dan's car was still there. I smiled as i left the car, guess i wasnt the only one sleeping late today. I hoped Phil was there already, and my phone too. I entered the Aurora, relieved at the sight of Phil behind the bar. I was washed with the smell of coffee, and as i neared the bar, I pleadingly said to him, sitting on the stool „Please, please, please, tell me i'm not wrong and that is coffee i can smell.“ Phil turned arround , not noticing me when i entered. He grinned at me „You are most definitly right! Would you like some?“ „Yes, pretty please.“ I said, as i putted my hand on the bar, and leaned my head on it as on a pillow. Phil chuckled at me „Want any sugar with it? Or milk?“ „Yes, please.“ I replied, and he vanished through the storage doors. He returned with a big cup of coffe putting it infront of me. I rised my head, took the cup, taking a deep breath of its smell, before taking a big sip of it. „Thanks, Phill, you're my saviour:“ i smiled at him as i settled it back on the bar. „Here to help.“ He said, winking. „Rough night?“ he asked teasingly. „Oh, i dont know how you can be so cheerful.“ I started „I feel like a truck hit me lastnight.“ He laughed „Practice to perfection.“ „I think i would need years of practice to be even close to that kind of perfection!“ i said, making a skeptical face. He smiled at me „So, to what do i owe the pleasure?“ he asked. „Dont get me wrong, im glad to see you“ he said, that devilish spark in his eyes again „But i doubt you came just to see me.“ „You caught me.“ I said, even tho it was nice seeing him. „I was hoping that i might have left my phone here yesterday.“ He shook his head at me, crouching down searchin for a few seconds under the bar, giving me my phone as he got up. „Better be carefull next time, good thing i noticed it as you left.“ „Yay, thanks Phil, again.“ I told him, giving him a big smile. „I owe you big time! Both for the phone, and coffee.“ His phone rang then „Sorry business calling. Be right back“ he said, answering his phone and going through the storage door. I checked my phone with him gone, finding out few missed calls and messages from Jessy. She was worried i havent answered her jet, so i decided to call her while waiting for Phil. The tone barely sugested it rang when Jessy's voice boomed from the other side. „Finaly! Do you know how worried i have been? Are you allright? Where wer you? Why didnt you answer me before?“ It made me smile a bit, her worrying for me like that was so sweet. „Im sooooo sorry Jessy“ i said pleadingly „I left my phone at Aurora last night, i just got here to get it.“ Phil returned at that point, and i mouthed to him 'Jessy's' name, indicating who i was talking to. Her voice boomed again, and i moved my phone a bit from my ear, wich made Phil laugh. „Ofcourse you did! Its no wonder after all the whiskey you had! Dan is still sleeping like a log! You two really had it last night!“ „Aww, Dont be cross, Jessy.“ I started pleadingly again „I promise next time we wont over do it.“ Phil was grining at me now, and i stuck my toung at him, trying to calm Jessy down. „C'mon, you cant tell me you didnt have some fun yesterday.“ I started „I have some pictures on my phone as a proof of it.“ Phil threw his thumb up, showing me i said a good thing, and i grined at him. „Alright, i admit last night wasnt all that bad.“ Jessy started, sounding calmer now „But you're still not off the hook completly.“ „Thanks, Jessy“ i started, grining as a sign of victory to Phil. „You can scold me some more at lunch, if the deal for it still stands.“  „Ofcourse!“ Jessy cined cheerfuly from the other side „Dan will be a sleep for God knows how long, and im already bored here.“ I quickly moved my phone from the ear checking the time. „Its 12.20 now, when do you want us to meet?“. „I'll meet you around 14 at the Aurora. I doubt Phil will mind you hanging there with him till then.“ She replied, teasing me. „Somehow i think you're right.“ I said, looking at Phil with a devilysh smile. „Cya later, Jessy.“ I sadi, lovering my phone. Phil looked at me,a bit confused „Wat was that about?“ „Oh, just Jessy being Jessy.“ I told him, grining. „Fine, fine, be all mysterious.“ He teased me. „Awww, c'mon, you wouldnt find me so interesting if i was an open book.“ I told him, smiling sheepeshly. He looked at me, with that intensifing look again, making me feel heat spreading through my body „You're not wrong about that.“ Crap, what are you doing again, Maya, i scolded myself. Phil was definatly into me, and i was toying with him like this. It really wasnt my intention, i didnt want him to get the wrong impression about anything. But it felt so easy for me, talking to Phil, compared to Jake. Why does all have to be so tough and complicated with him? It feels like walking on egg shells every time im with him: dont do this, dont say that. Shit, it shouldnt be that way, should it? Was i really that much into Jake? Blah, i dont know anything anymore. I wish he would be more open with me, it would make things so much easier. I was lost in my toughts when Phil finaly snaped me back to reality „Maya? You allright?“ I looked at him, shaking my head,  to clear it from all the 'Jake' toughts. „Yeah, sorry.“ I started „Guess the coffee didnt kick in properly yet.“ Phil looked at me, and i could see he didnt really belive what i told him, but decided not to take the matter any further „If you say so.“ Was all he said. I smiled shyly at him. „Do you mind if i just hang here for an hour or so, before metting with Jessy? I dont feel up to driving back to motel, and the coffee isnt bad here either.“ I tried, smiling, waving my empty cup at him. Phil looked at me, rising one of his eyebrows, and smiled devilishly „How could i say no to a beautifull woman?“ He took my cup, winked at me vanishing through the storage doors. I could feel my cheeks flushing again, and my heart beating faster. Shit, shit, shit..

When Phil came back with another full cup of coffee i asked if its ok if I sit at one of the booths, to wich he said  fine, since he did have some work to be done. I took my stuff and coffee setteling at the booth. I had a bit over an hour before metting with Jessy, i hoped some inspiration for work might come to me. I took my stuff out of the backpack, took my sneakers off, sitting with my feet up on the booths perch. I liked drawing like that. Leaning my drawing pad on my knees i tried to focus on my work, but my toughts just kept wondering off.  I tought about Phil, sneaking glances towards the bar. He was good looking, always nice to me, even tho everyone warned me that he was a 'no good' considering women. He never showed any sign of it towards me. He was easygoing, i enjoyed his company, we definatly clicked. Then there is Jake. I was definatly drawn to him, cant deny that. When im near him, it feels like when a moth is drawn towards fire. Cant fight it, its driving me crazy. But nothing with him is easy. Its like taking one step forward, then not one, or even two, but ten steps back. Its so frustrating. And with all that had happened, i feel like all the progres we had was completly gone. My head was still too woozy for thinking of stuff like this. I setteled my drawing stuff down, taking my coffee, leaning back in the booth. Maybe Jessy would have some advice fore me. Two heads are smarter then one, or so they say. But i should definatly talk to Phil, at least try to explain things to him. I dont want him thinking im giving him some false hope here. As if he could sense my toughts, he turned around, took his coffee and walked towards me. „Mind if i join you?“ he asked, and i smiled „Ofcourse i dont. I guess my inspiration is still sleeping, so no work to be done at the moment.“ He grined „Thats good for me. I can have the pleasure of your company for some more then.“ I chuckled at that, siping some more of the coffee. But i tought again about talking with him about everything.  My face must have gotten some serious expression, 'couse Phil looked at me a bit serious, before asking „Whats bothering you, Maya? I have a feeling you want to talk to me about something.“ I looked at him, those deep eyes of his gazing intensly at me, trying to dig up my toughts. „I do.“ I admitted after a moment „But to be hones, i dont know how to start .“ „Well, just do your best.“ He said, and i started to get the feeling of a knot at my stomach again. „Allright.“ I said, but the words didnt come easy after that. „I like you, Phill.“ I said finaly after a moment of silence. He chuckled „Ok, thats a good start.“ „Ah, but that was the easy part.“ I started „Now comes the tricky one.“ I could notice him tensing a bit, like he knew where this might lead to. „Ok, go on then.“ He said. „I enjoy your company, talking to you, its so easygoing. I feel we clicked, that theres some 'spark' between us, and i know you noticed the same.“  „You're right about that.“ He replied. „But..“ i started, and Phil interupted me, sighing „Ahh, there it is, the famous 'but' part.“ „Please, Phil, just let me say what i have, then you can hate me.“ He looked at me, his face getting a soft touch „I couldnt hate you, Maya.“ „Dont say it untill im not done talking.“ I said, a bit sadness creeping to my voice. „Alright. Please, continue.“ „Ok. As i started earlier,i like you, but i dont want to get your hopes up.“ I settled my coffe on the table, my hands fidgeting with the cup. Why was this so hard? „Shit, Phil, im a complete mess at the moment.“ I started „I myself dont know what i want, and its tearing me up inside. There is someone, and i dont know where I stand with him. And i dont want to start something new, if im not a 100% sure that its the right thing, that its something i really want. With no loose ends catching up on me.“ I looked up at Phil, him still not taking his eyes off me. „Am i making any sense to you here?“ i asked, lovering my head. I really didnt want to have this conversation, but that was me being honest. All of a sudden, i could feel Phil's hand covering mine, and i looked back up at him. He still had that softness written all over his face. „I appriciate your honesty, Maya.“ He started „Now let me be honest also.“ „Ofcourse“ i said „I expect nothing less.“ „Good.“ He looked at me more serious now. „You know i like you, you said it yourself. I dont know why, but i felt drawn to you the moment i saw you. Theres something in you that makes a man bedazled by you, i cant explain it differently.“ He paused for a moment before continuing. „And i get it, you dont want to get into something half hearted. And i applaud you for that. Because, if anything was to happen between us, i wouldnt want it that way either.“ He looked at me now, his gaze intensifing again, and i started to feel that heat again. „If it was to happen“ he continued „I would prefere if you wer in it with every inch of your body and soul.“ I was mesmerized by his words. He was so open with me, the words came so easy to him. Why cant it be like this with Jake. „Allrighty, that was pretty honest there.“ I said finaly, making an aqward smile. „You wanted me to be honest.“ He said, adding „And just so you know, im not going to make it easy for you.“ He looked at me now, with that devilish spark in his eyes again. I looked at him puzzled „What do you mean by it?“ He grined at me „Its like this: i will continue to act like i did so far, and you can do the same, cause, lets face it, we both like it.“ His grin widened, and i smiled back at him. „Good, you get me. But, until i get a confirmation from you about freely taking it a step further, i will do whatever i can to maybe, just maybe, help you feel a bit less messy and steer thigs in my favore.“ „And what if it wont end as you hope it would? Can you be ok with just being my friend?“ i asked him. He looked at me for a moment, before answering. „Honestly“ he started“i cant say i wouldnt be dissapointed, a little hearth broken probably, but i would respect your choice. And yes, Maya, if that would be so, i would gladly be just your friend.“ “Thanks, Phil, i appriciate all you said.“ I told him „I was kinda affraid of having this conversation with you.“ „You, affraid? I cant belive that“ he said, teasingly „Belive me, i was scared as hell.“ I said, adding to it „But im glad we had it. I didnt want it to become aqward between us at some point.“ „Not gonna happen.“ He said, winking at me. I smiled „Shit, you know, even thou i had enough yesterday, i could actualy use a drink right now.“ Phil lughed so hard „Awww, you really did get scared. We are in a bar afterall, you just say the words and ill bring you that drink.“ He said, looking at me with one raised eyebrow. „Only if you join me“ i said, grining at him „ And if you dont tell Jessy about it.“ He got up from the booth, smiling and winking before he left for the bar „Deal!“

[mikeyfuckinway]

ok got my danger days palette and uhm!!!!!! i am not thrilled with the lipsticks.

first off i am irrationally and unreasonably upset that the fun ghoul lipstick isnt green like what. what the fuck everyone else got their color why isnt he green. is it bc its not a jewel tone or something? like emeralds exist. is it just bc people are scared of green. theres literally green in the palette. why. why isnt he fucking green make him green i want my green fucking lipstick fuck you

also they kind of feel horrible when i put them on like i know some liquid lipsticks espesially metallic or special finish ones can be really drying but they feel sooooo shitty when i put them on, and its kind of difficult to get them opaque like yknow when youre painting and you go backwards over a stroke u just made and it cuts a line through it instead of painting. the lipsticks do that and it makes it so annoying to try and put them on effectively like u need to wait for a first layer to dry and then do a second one. kind of annoying and it doesnt help that they also just feel like shit and im still so angry about fun ghoul not being green like what is the point. fuck you.

other than that the sets good, i like the liners they seem to be of nice quality, and i havent swatched the palette yet but the colors are exactly what i was expecting and look just as vibrante. nothing came damaged, the mousekat pin is nice, the extra pins that i spent $25 on are. not worth $25. like theyre not bad but i wouldnt have paid that much for them if i wasnt like dying and depressed when i made this purchase.

also im a little miffed that i had to email support to find out that there were even more shipping delays which meant mine was only shipped like towards the end of january and just got here a couple days ago (jan 28 or 29 i think). like its certainly nothing im gonna cause a fuss about but given the uncertainty of when things are gonna get places i wish i wouldve received an update.

there also the whole thing about the set existing in the first place, like im not gonna get mad at them for releasing merch i dont know what kind of contracts theyre under but idk. it feels a little off to me. if it was just the makeup collabs like ok thats kind of cool, expression and makeup have kind of been a part of their performance and image for a while and the colors are definitely unique and can be hard to find, so i like that aspect, but in combination with the other really shitty merch theyve been releasing.... idk. like the shitty masks on their webstore, the other kind of shitty merch on their webstore and the shirts on hot topics website that look like shit im so sorry theyre so fucking ugly. that one armyish green one is horrendous, the vaporwavy one isnt ugly its just so painfully generic and doesnt even read as an mcr shirt, the other ones look like strange slightly to the left twenty one pilots merch. im not a fan

[transsexualhamlet]

okayokayokay i have like. Q U E S T I O N S because i have *wanted* to read no longer human but have been afraid to SO -

1) what's it like? what do u think of it? im sooo curious 👀

2) do u think that asagiri-sensei based bsd dazai sorta off the book more than off the actual authour? i seem to remember reading that once but i dont remember if it was speculation or not

3) .......just infodump as much as you want, really; im Curious™️ and it looks like ur having fun with the book XD

p.s. - have fun with crime and punishment; thats a book ive DEFINITELY been meaning to read (but i havent had time to yet djfjdjfjf)

AHHHHHHH HI TYSM I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD ASK. I read the entire book in 2 hours before going to bed like four days ago, though it probably wasn't the best time to do it, that shit is nightmare fuel

I'm just gonna preface this with I know basically nothing about the actual author other than what's in the book, also I read the manga version (the junji ito one, yeah) so yeah I'm not sure how much that differs from the original text.

So for how much he based it off of the book vs the actual author, I couldn't really tell you- no longer human is somewhat of an autobiography, so I'd say that those work together. (it's complicated, bc the main character of no longer human is not actually dazai, but dazai is there, and they like??? basically say that that character and dazai are like actually the same person???? and they like, switch places at the end?? its really confusing, but basically, I'm treating the mc of no longer human as dazai himself.) The important stuff about the author that I know of worked into dazai's character is all in no longer human too so,,, yeah. I think saying that it's based more off of that book is probably true, though I don't know what asagiri was thinking.

But about the book itself- Yeah uhhhhhh seriously, I don't really recommend reading no longer human if you have much of a sensitivity to basically anything, especially the graphic novel version because when i say graphic novel i mean Graphic there is so much nudity, sex, s/a, addiction, violence, Mental Illness of all types, religious trauma, obviously suicide, and frankly just visually horrifying stuff

So everything under this is gonna be under a cut just cause Uh Yeah It's A Lot and i do not want to subject everybody to it

But reading it was certainly something I am glad I did, because it did teach me a lot about dazai and how he was created, as well as confirming a lot of theories I had about him that can't be confirmed or denied in bsd canon.

Like me and my friend were just like examining his character and kind of coming up with ideas about him- like we both agreed that he had Motherless Energy TM and that his dad had to have been an absolute fucking piece of shit. Also, we thought that he definitely had to have had A Lot of csa trauma and probably issues having to do with his neurodivergency when he was a child.

Literally all of that ended up being true within the canon of no longer human, so I was kind of impressed that we were so right?? It makes me feel better for thinking a lot of those things, especially since they're just Pretty Fucked Up.

But yeah its. No wonder he turned out that way when he was So Autistic and Masking So Much And So Badly and with absolutely no guidance as how to deal with his neurodivergency other than just fucking let anything anyone wanted happen sooooo he got raped, as a kid, like. A lot. A LOT. And basically ended up thinking that because of this all humans were just horrifying awful monsters and yeahhhhh things pretty much went downhill from there

I don't have a ton of time so you can send me more asks about it lol this is just barely scratching the surface this thing is pretty intense

A lot of other things that I think I can apply to bsd dazai as well, tho they're not gone into that much in the canon:

-This dude is like always fucking drunk or high, cause he just cannot stand being sober that much. He's a serious alcoholic and actually addicted to opioids and I cannot think that much differently about dazai. He's got issues.

but there are a lot of differences between Dazai and the no longer human mc, though there are enough similarities that this is definitely the dude he was based off of.

The main difference is that the no longer human mc is actually just a good guy. He's made a shit ton of stupid fucking mistakes, but he's trying to be a good man and he feels awful for the things he's done, which, I really cannot say Dazai has. Dazai is not a good man, I think everyone knows that. He doesn't really care that much lol

-both of them are like. Weirdly popular with women. Which is hilarious but like, with Dazai he doesn't really take it seriously, and he actually flirts with women. The no longer human guy like. He doesn't hes just like Tragically Attractive and women want to be with him and he has no clue how to say no so he just ends up being a whore bc hes socially useless. It causes a lot of problems bc hes like constantly cheating because of this lol.

-Dazai has a much more poetic view of it all? The no longer human guy is just fucking suffering and hes like why is this happening to me im so awful and i bring misfortune to everyone around me and its not fair and he wants to die and everything but it's not at all in the same way that Dazai does. Dazai acts more like an author than him, in the sense of his "I want a death that is narriatively satisfactory and I want to know the meaning of living by seeing the worst of it and observing how it is to be a human" yeah that's not the same at all. No longer human man really just doesn't understand them and is just. Not having fun

-Also, it's really the thing about Dazai having such an utter lack of religion compared to his original counterpart. Like, the main thing that kept this dude alive for so long was the fact that he had so much religious trauma and was constantly guilty and worried he would go to hell and basically scared of everything. Bsd dazai is like, nearly the opposite, he's the kind of dude who was born and raised atheist, and in the kind of way that he's trying to basically come up with his own meaning of life and religion to follow, whereas the original is struggling to live with one that's been perscribed to him. Both are Very Neurodivergent but it was, handled differently

And yeah i really do have to keep this short, you can totally ask me more and I have a lot more to say but one thing I want to bring attention to is the fact of something they do have in common- their masking. It's a big part of no longer human, about how the mc doesn't understand social customs and what is acceptable or how to talk to people or seriously be happy, so he basically comes up with this "clowning" which is basically, make a fool of himself on purpose all the time so people will never take him seriously or think he's good or smart. That's something dazai completely does, wholeheartedly, and something that fucks him up bad in no longer human. And I think that could be examined a lot more deeply, this dude has issues and so many of them are related to autism. God, I have so many thoughts but aghhhhhhhhhhhhh i hope u enjoy

[ankhisms]

the always wonderful shelley @shanheling tagged me to do this thank u so much!! i think that everyone i wanted to tag has already been tagged to do this but if you feel like doing this feel free to consider urself tagged by me!! im putting this under a readmore bc its long and i ramble a lot

the piece i was tagged to explain my process on is this oc piece! unfortunately i have a habit of deleting my original clip studio file once ive finished my art and saved it as a new png file, so i dont have the file to show the sketch and different stages of this piece. but I still can go through my general process and talk about how i did that piece!

1. planning

honestly i think about the art that i want to do a lot, and in this last year or so ive thought about the art i want to do more than ive been able to actually create and finish that art that i want to do. for my planning i tend to do a lot of different thumbnail sketches for the art im thinking of

these are some examples of thumbnails, a lot of times ill do thumbnails just on pencil and paper and with some of these theyre done quickly with my fingers on my phone note function on a day where i was feeling too bad to get up and draw on paper but still wanted to get the thumbnail ideas down. two of these are for the same songxiao piece that i still havent finished and i have more thumbnails digitally on clip studio for the same piece, i do a lot more thumbnails when a piece isnt working the way i want it to and theres times where ill completely scratch a thumbnail or a sketch and start over in order to do more thumbnails because i dont feel happy with some aspect of it.

two of these are small gouche painting thumbnails for two pieces i did maybe a month or so ago, i did the thumbnails and then tried to expand on them digitally and im wanting to do more thumbnail paintings like this in the future because it was fun

for the piece of my oc trio it was based off a series of ask prompts i got for a few different outfit prompt memes i had reblogged, so i based their outfits on the ones in the meme. when im drawing figures i tend to try and get the movement down in the poses when im sketching, i do several rough sketches of the pose before beginning to start setting down lines (if im doing lineart at all because sometimes i dont like doing lineart and do a more lineless painting kind of style). i really try to get my art to convey some kind of emotion, in the oc piece i wanted it to feel fun and like youre seeing three best friends while theyre out on the town having a fun night

2. creating

this is the only real example i have of a piece in the middle of being filled in and created, this piece is one that im really not very happy with & have had lying around for a while and ill probably scrap it and try to come at it from a different perspective at some point. but anyway it still shows what i do, i lay down a kind of neutral gray color underneath my final sketch/lineart if im doing lineart in that piece and then i start picking out the colors that i want for the piece and kind of setting out a pallette for myself. i dont do this color pallette thing 100% of the time but i do it really often, especially if im working on a commission or a larger piece where i know theres going to be a lot of colors or if its a piece where im not sure exactly what color scheme i want so laying out the colors together helps me kind of decide what kind of scheme i want. i am sooooo picky about my colors in my art i am genuinely obsessed with colors in art and there are times where i really have to stop myself from working on something forever just constantly adding more colors or putting little tiny changes and gradients in the colors.

after ive got the colors i want down i tend to try and block out parts of the piece with the base color for that section, and then i start to paint with the colors that i want to go on top of that base color from there.

once im satisfied with the colors/shading/rendering and everything ill go back and look over things and will fix things that look off or sometimes completely redo segments if they dont look right to me. when i was younger and mainly doing digital art using my phone and my fingers i would use a lot of filters and overlays on top of my art once i was done, and honestly im glad to not be doing that anymore because i dont think it made my art look any better. i do color adjustments and sometimes will put on a color overlay or a layer to emphasize the shadows and the light in the piece, but i try to keep those layers to a minimum and like i said before i have a tendency to obsess over the colors and ill spend a good amount of time in the color adjustment tool of clip studio and then ill just decide "actually it looks fine as it is" so yeah!

3. posting

i feel like i dont have a lot to say here gbfm i mean i honestly have a lot of thoughts about the relationship between artists and social media and how social media changes our views on art including our own art and how we can feel like we constantly need to be posting new art and just become content machines churning out new stuff. but ill save that rant for another time. i used to be really concerned about how many notes my art would get when i was younger, and i dont at all blame anyone who still is very concerned about that bc it sucks when u work hard on something youve created and then you dont get a lot of recognition for it, but honestly within the last two years or so i feel like ive begun to have a lot healthier relationship with posting my art. i really just post my art on my art blog, reblog it to my main blog, and then thats that yknow! i do really appreciate any and all support people give me, it means the world to me, but for me having the mentality where i dont need to post all the art i make and i dont need to be posting every day or every week or every month even has been a lot healthier for me because then im not constantly asking myself why didnt this get notes is my art awful??? and yeah i just kind of post it and my brain goes okay were done with that art we gotta make more

ive honestly been struggling a lot with art thru the pandemic and if youre reading this and have been struggling with creating in any way recently or even before the pandemic, please know theres no shame in having trouble creating and it doesnt make you bad at whatever it is u create!

thank you for reading this, feel free to consider urself tagged by me again if u want to do this!! love u all