#but it was sitting in my drafts and doesn't really give any spoilers so

[writingonleaves]

the blue au - social media

au masterlist

posted july 9, 2025

nicohischier

liked by jesperbratt, _quinnhughes and others

tagged: clemsandoval

nicohischier: Happy birthday C🍊 Everyday with you feels like winning the lottery. Love you, Schätzli❤️

view all 176 comments

user89: happy birthday mrs cap🫡

elblue6: ❤️

user001: Beautiful couple!

clemsandoval: love you!!!

jackhughes: Something like that

emilialynn_: the best

ninahischier: So lovely

user51: user88 theyre literally so cute wtf

nicolelaud: Happy birthday @clemsandoval!! ✨🎉💗

clemsandoval: 🥹thank you so much

calliedunner: you got a gem of a woman there, hischier

liked by nicohischier, noahgorman10 and simonefarhadi

lhughes_06: Yupp

user671: Happy Cap = Happy life

amelieirisfishel: 🥹nico this is so cute

holtz_10: 😎

[shadowbriar]

Bob Reynolds — Catalyst

Pairing : Robert "Bob" Reynolds x (she/her) doctor!Reader Word Count : a lot, idk how many exactly cause I'm drafting this on my phone. Warning : Thunderbolts spoilers. Sets during Bob's Project Sentry era. Mentions of medical procedures. Not proofread cause I'm doing this on my phone. Synopsis : For once, he actually let himself grow comfortable in the gentleness of another. Notes : we love Bob, Bob deserves the world. I kinda want to make this a mini series but idk how the plot should go. I'm open for ideas if you have any suggestions! also, please donate to my kofi so I can get a new laptop and write properly cause drafting though phone is hell, i tell you.

"Breath in for me,"

Bob tries to control his breathing as her gloved hands sneak under his pyjamas. His eyes were everywhere, but her, trying to distract his mind from how the close proximity has made him able to get a whiff of her faint perfume, or see the pendant of her necklace dangling as she leans a little to put the stethoscope on his chest.

"Your heartbeat is peaking," she highlights as the heart monitor beeped a little louder "Are you feeling any pain?"

"No, I'm just startled from the cold metal," he lies through his teeth.

Her brows were still furrowed once she stepped away from him, making notes of his monitor on her pad, "It looks like you're having frequent rise of heartbeat, especially whenever I try to listen to your insides. Are you sure you're feeling okay, Bob?"

He nods, unable to say any word.

"No headaches? Heartburn? Pain anywhere?"

"No," he says in a tiny voice "I'm feeling great,"

"Okay, let me see your eyes then," she says before placing her hands to his jaws. Her thumbs pulling the skin under his eyes a little to see if there's any foul colour on it. Bob's fingers were now gripping the thin sheet of his bed tightly as he tried to calm his nerves. The heart monitor is once again betraying him as it beeps more frequently, erratic to the point that it worries her "Your heart is beating so fast, are you sure you're feeling okay, Bob?"

She places her hand on his chest, feeling the rapid beating of his heart. Her face was filled with worry now, as the beads of sweat on Bob's forehead started to fall. Colour was starting to fade from his face, as well. He was turning pale.

"I'm nervous," he confessed shyly, taking a small gulp.

"Of what?"

You, he wanted to say, but he knew that it would be too inappropriate to utter. He was one of the many patients she's taking care of, one of the many test subjects for the project, and though he wants to believe that she's treating him a little kinder than the others for the same sentiment he hoards for her, he knew that at the end of the day, she was only doing her job and what matters for her was the drugs' progression, not him as a person.

"What if it doesn't work? Will you kick me out of the lab?" Bob asks instead.

The corners of her lips curled upwards, smiling to him as she takes a seat on the edge of his bed, "Do you mind if I sit here?"

Bob shakes his head.

"You're my friend, Bob. Where ever these drugs would lead us to, I will always take care of you, I can promise you that," she reassures, giving the most gentle squeeze on his arm as she continues "I will never, ever, let anything bad happen to you, okay? You're my favourite person in this whole lab and I would never let anything hurt you. But in order to do that, you need to help me out a little. You need to tell me if you feel any pain or anything strange, really, so I can help you and stop it from happening again,"

"I'm not feeling any pain," he says with eyes glued on hers "I promise,"

Her eyes scanned for any trace of lies on his face before nodding, smiling in understanding, "Okay, then, let's get back to those beautiful blue eyes of yours. Try to relax, okay?"

Bob nodded like an obedient little kid. This time the heart monitor didn't beep as frequently when she places her hands back to his face. The grip he has on the sheet have loosened, and his breathing has gone more at eased. For once, he actually let himself grow comfortable in the gentleness of another.

"Your pupils are a little dilated," she noticed as they stare into each other's eyes "Perhaps because of your nerves, but we'll still put that in the chart for future references, okay?"

Bob nods, "So, everything else is good?"

"Yup, so far so good," she answers with a nod, putting her pad down "I'm not supposed to share this, but you're our strongest subject and I'd like to think that it's because you and I are more than just doctor and patient. We're friends,"

His smile grows, still timid but it's brighter than she's ever seen before.

"You look really cute when you smile. You should do it more often," she compliments.

The rouge on his cheeks bloom. Bob looks away, trying his best to hide his bashful face from her. The long strands of his hair falls to his eyes, but he knew that it wouldn't be enough to hide just how red his whole face is.

Noticing his embarrassed self, she smiles to herself and stood from his bed, "Well, I'll leave you to rest then,"

"Wait," Bob calls before she could leave the room "How much longer do I have to stay here?"

"I'm not sure, Bob. We're still monitoring everyone and you still have that rising heartbeat issue that we need to take care of," she notes, placing her hands in the pocket of her coat "Why, do you have anywhere else you need to be?"

"No, I just— I'd like to see the city," he answers, that very uncertainty returning to his voice again "I was wondering if you could show me around, cause I didn't have much time to wander before admitting to the lab,"

"Oh," she notes, a little surprised to hear his vulnerable reasoning. With silent steps, she walks closer to him again, smiling as she proposes, "Well, I haven't done much wander myself because we have a lot of things to do here, but.. Why don't we try to get you back in shape as soon as possible, and then we can start our little adventure throughout the city?"

Bob's heart swells in his chest. He was never this happy, never this optimistic about life, and the promise of having something to look forward to. He flew himself to South-East Asia to try on new drugs without a care of how it might affect him because truly, no one ever cared. His mission was just to see this new drug and try it himself, bonus point if he doesn't die in the process. But now that he's met her, now that he's felt how good it is to have someone who cares for him, Bob wonders if he should let himself hope for tomorrow.

"Bob?" she calls softly, snapping him out of his thoughts "Would you like that?"

He nods eagerly, grinning, "I'd love that, yes,"

"Okay, well, it's a date, then,"

—-

Being a doctor for a human test laboratory is certainly different than working for hospitals. Most days, she finds it hard to still call herself "human" after all the experiment she's seen before her very eyes. People would go to extreme lengths just to prove something, disposing of other innocent souls as a cost they're willing to pay.

She's considered to free herself from such occupation. Rebuild a life that is more mundane and ordinary, perhaps to move back to her hometown and build a small clinic there, but if she wasn't here, who would fight for a humane treatment for these poor subjects? Who would spare their own personal time to do research for the new batches of the serums, making and taking more samples before actually injecting them to human beings, if not for her?

"We lost subject SE-37 this morning," Dr. Houston says as they have their morning meeting "It's such a shame, because she was showing great progress up until yesterday,"

"Her name was Grace," she seethe on her seat "Stop calling these people with their serum labels, they have names,"

The rest of the doctors remained quiet, watching her with conflicted expression.

"This is our seventh loss this week," she continues with a heavy sigh, rubbing her temples from the stress "We have more casualty than progress, we have to stop the research for now,"

"But Valentina—,"

"I don't care what Valentina says. She's not here, alright?! She doesn't see these patients wither and die before her own eyes. We're the ones who do, and as much as all of you hate to admit it, I know that it's taking a toll on us. It would be unwise to continue this without a clear and steady head, so we're putting a halt to this project,"

"Until when?" one of them asked.

"Until we know exactly what it is that is failing our patients and found a way to fix it,"

The rest of the doctors shuffled away from the room as they figured their meeting has come to a bitter end. This wouldn't be the first sour argument they witnessed between Dr. Houston and her. She might be the smartest and most brilliant doctor OXE Group has ever employed, but her benevolence often times came first before her duty to the company. That's why Valentina appointed Dr. Houston as her co-chief of research. Houston might not be as smart, but he's experienced and she respects him just enough to not jeopardise the research whenever things went south.

Exactly like how things are looking like right now.

"You're a bright kid," Houston starts when it was just the two of them left in the room "You and Valentina can do great things together, but this compassion.. It's misplaced, right now,"

"Yeah, and who am I supposed to feel more sympathy for? Valentina, because she's lost billions of dollars from this research?" she scoffs "I don't think it's my compassion that is misplaced here—it's your loyalty. You're a doctor, you're sworn to protect your patients,"

"I'm a citizen of this planet first before a doctor, and what we need most now is a protector," Houston argues, his face stern and unwavering "If Project Sentry fails, then we've failed everyone on this planet, not just those we've lost during this research,"

She remained quiet, looking back at him with the same resolute expression.

"We'll take a week of break from taking new patients. Let the doctors calm down as you said, and then we'll start a whole new batch,"

"But—,"

"No buts, I'm trying to save all of our heads here, Kid," Houston cuts in "Now go do your rounds, I'm sure your patients are waiting,"

"Patient, I only have one left," she corrected bitterly.

Dr. Houston kept his silence as she walked out of the room. It was a hard sight for him as well, to see the light dimming out of her this way. Had she worked for a hospital or some ordinary vaccine lab, she would've thrived and helped so many people by now, but OXE Group needs her. If Project Sentry was to ever success, it would need her wit and cleverness, or else they wouldn't even stand a chance on developing anything before the threat comes terrorising the Earth.

—-

"Good morning," Bob greets as she enters his room, his smile wide and blinding "I was wondering where you were,"

"I'm sorry, we had a late running meeting for the doctors," she apologises, sitting on the edge of his bed with a smile that never seemed to reach her eyes "How are we feeling this morning?"

"Great. I've finished my breakfast and I'm feeling real good today," he answers with a beaming smile.

She nods in acknowledgement, starting her assessment with him, "That's good to hear. No more fast heartbeat, yes?"

"Nope, all good,"

Smiling to his respond, she puts down her pad and looks at him closely, "Bob, I need you to promise me something, okay? If you feel anything strange, anything at all, you push that assistance button there and alert me, okay? I don't care if it's 2AM in the morning or if it only feels like a persisting scratch on your back, you tell me right away, okay?"

Bob frowns, trying to digest her insistent words.

"Please, promise me, Bob," she begs, taking his hand to hers and squeezing them gently "You don't have to feel bad if you're not sure about it or if the timing feels a little odd, just alert me at once, okay? And I'll come right back here in an instant, I promise you,"

Bob nods fast, blinking rapidly as he's still fazed from her urgency, but agreed nonetheless, "Of course, I promise,"

"Thank you," she whispers, putting her head down and placing the back of his hand to her forehead "Thank you, Bob,"

Bob watched as her head rests on his hand now. His other hand was itching to pat on her head, maybe run his fingers through the loose strands of her hair that falls out of the hair tie, but he was too scared of over stepping it. He doesn't know what it is that's making her this distraught or how to help her calm down. He's never had anyone to show him how, and the last thing he'd like to do is to make it even worse for her, so he just stayed there, eyes glued to the back of her head and let her have her moment to calm down.

With another squeeze, she finally puts his hand back down, "Alright, then, I'll let you back to rest,"

"I've done nothing but rest these past weeks, honestly," he answers bluntly "I don't think I can rest much more than I already did,"

She smiles, a soft chuckle escapes her lips and it felt like an earthquake to his heart. She looks down to her pad, scrolling through his charts and looking deep into it as if she's debating something in her head.

"You know what, you're right," she says as she puts the pad down "You've been in this bleak room for weeks without any sunlight. Why don't I try to talk with the other doctors to get you an hour or two permission outside of this room? Maybe we can stroll around the building? I hear there's this hawker place nearby that has really good food. Maybe we can go and try something there?"

Bob was unblinking now. Her proposal seems too good to be true, too fast to be offered. He's always thought about going out of this room, feeling the bustling road once again and seeing the people, but he didn't expect it to come this soon. He didn't expect that the date, though he knew it wouldn't be the kind of date he was hoping for, will happen in just mere days. Just how much luck has he scored eversince joining this drug test, honestly?

"I can't promise anything. I have to fight with the other doctors to give you this pass, but I will try," she continues "If you'd like, of course. If you think it's too fast—,"

"Please, I would love that," he says fast "I'd love to get out of this room with you,"

She smiles, this time a little more tender than the usual. She stares deeply into his eyes, looking at this bashful, yet charming man that has been the softest, most gentle soul she's ever come across. She watches as he fidgets a little from the gaze, undoubtedly feeling embarrassed again for no reason, yet she finds it hard to peel her eyes off of him. He was just too beautiful to not be admired at, too endearing for anyone to not fall in love with.

And Lord, she has fallen alright.

"Okay, I'll try and find Dr. Houston right away," she says softly.

Grabbing her pad and standing from her seat, she was about to walk away before Bob grabs her hand again, this time holding it gently and rubbing her skin with his thumb, "Thank you.. For everything,"

Turning her hand so that their fingers could interlock properly, she smiles at him and nods, "Thank you for everything too, Bob,"

—-

Having different style of work has made her and Houston have different labs on different floor of the building. She hardly ever visit his lab as she's the one who's done more progress and he's the one who needs to do the catching up, hence the more frequent visit of him to her lab, so tapping her ID to his now feels a little bizarre. She could still count with one hand the many times she's stepped foot on this floor over the years of them working in this building. She has never had any persisting matter to discuss with him until now, and seeing that the subject would certainly require a little back and forth argument, she reckons it would be best to just come to the old man's lab and bring the topic to his table.

Now that she's here, she observes the contrast difference of her lab compared to Houston's. Houston's lab is cleaned on the counter, stacked of papers placed neatly on the corners, while her's were more cluttered. The only messy part of the lab was Houston's work table, covered in leaves of papers and reports that she couldn't be more careless about.

Until one name caught her eyes: Robert Reynolds.

She picked up the report and began scanning the information. It looked similar to her reports, charts of his biometrics data, and progress through the experiment, but there's a strange folder on the back of this report, banded with a red clip.

"Confidential?" she whispers to herself, wondering why her reports were lacking of this document.

And that's how she found out. How none of the patients could survive the drug. How her samples, despite each success of previous tests, kept on failing on human subjects. How everyone seemed to be reaching their peak before succumbing the very next day with no prior symptoms.

Her serums were altered.

"I'm sorry, Kid," Houston says as he sneaked behind her and knocked her unconscious with a syringe of tranquilliser.

—-

"Good morn— You're not my doctor,"

The man steps closer to Bob's bed. His hand shoved deep in his coat pockets as he introduced himself, "My name is Dr. Houston, I will be taking care of you from now on, Robert,"

"Where is she?" Bob asks for her, calling her name "I don't want a new doctor, I want her,"

"She's.. Unavailable right now, but worry not, she's entrusted me to take care of you," Dr. Houston replies with a small smile "You have nothing to worry about, Robert. You will hardly feel her absence,"

Bob's brows furrow, obviously not welcoming this man, especially with his last words, but he has no other choice but to keep quiet this time, "When will she be back?"

Dr. Houston who was looking at his pad for Bob's charts stopped a little to look away, not meeting Bob's eyes as if he's trying to find the right answer before looking up with another smile, "Your charts are looking very great, Robert—"

"Bob," he cuts in "Just call me, Bob,"

"Bob," Dr. Houston repeats as if he's trying to see how the word lands on his tongue "You're looking very healthy from these charts, Bob. Are you ready for the next step?"

Bob raised an eyebrow, confused, "Next step? What next step?"

"Your exercises," Dr. Houston explains "We've stabilised you for the past weeks from the drug, and it looks like you're ready for our exercises,"

"What kind of exercises?"

"Well, you know, just basic physical exercises, like running, cycling, just the basic cardio for now. We don't want to push you too much, you're our most precious patient,"

Bob could hardly hear the next words Dr. Houston speaks of. The bitterness in his chest grew. He has so many questions, so much confusion as to why she would just leave him without a word, especially after promising to get him that pass to leave the building. He thought that she wanted to escape this room with him, even for just an hour or two. Whatever happened to that promise?

"Tomorrow, the nurse will help you to get to the gym. We'll monitor you throughout the exercise and after that, we'll do some blood test. We haven't done that in a while with you, have we?"

"No," Bob answers "Can I— Can I get out of the room after the blood test? She promised me she'd talk to the other doctors to give me some pass to go outside of this room, has there been any decision for that?"

"Oh, I didn't know we have that discussion, she didn't tell me anything," Dr. Houston says, making Bob's disappointment to grow even bigger "But let me see if I can do anything about that. For now, we just have to make sure that you'll pass the physical exercise tomorrow,"

Bob nods to himself, but his mind is evidently elsewhere. He stared at the wall as Dr. Houston excused himself. The voices in his head were loud now, much louder than they ever did before. The room suddenly feels more chilly, like it was void of life, and the gloomy storm was hovering above his head. He was drowning deeper and deeper into this dread until the glass of water by his side table suddenly broke, shattered to the ground with water pooling the floor.

He reached for the assistance bell. His thumb hesitated to press the button, wondering if he should just wait for the nurse to check in on the next hour to tell about the broken glass, or if he should just press and get it over with. See if she would really come running to him like she promised just the other day.

Everything was just fine, perfect, in fact, yesterday. One minute, she was here, holding his hands and making him feel like he mattered for once, and the next, she disappeared without a goodbye. A little voice in his heart told him that she must have a good reason for this abrupt farewell, but he's lived his whole life being left alone with no closure, no explanation as to why no one ever paid him any regard.

And so he closed his eyes and pressed the button. He kept his eyes shut until someone entered the room, hoping that when he opened them, he would see her standing by his bed and ease his mind like she always would.

"Yes, Bob?" Dr. Houston asked as he peeked in the room through the door "Anything wrong?"

"I— I broke the glass,"

"Ah," Dr. Houston says as he looked at the floor "We'll get someone to clean that up,"

Bob slumps back to his bed as Dr. Houston shuts the door. He pulled his knees close to his chest, hugging them as he felt the loneliness creeping right back up. The last few weeks with her have been so lovely, so full of warmth and love that he forgot how painful it is to be left alone once again. Or perhaps it was the fact that he never knew how it feels like to hope and be let down. He never had the privilege to hold any fraction of faith before. No one ever gave him a reason to have one until she came. Until she gave him the very desire to see the sun rise tomorrow. Until she gave him the very desire to leave this place alive. Until she gave him the very desire to have something more permanent in life.

And yet once again, Bob was left all alone.

[averycutesalamander]

hi<3 i'm in love with your writing! can i ask how you think we got into a relationship with Boothill? did he ask us out or did we? how did we even meet?

hihihi!! thank you 💝 also it's funny you ask because i actually have a moderately complete first meeting draft (which i guarantee will NOT go the way you think it will), and it's decently high on my priority list. (say thank you to the person in my DDBB comments for that hahaha)

essentially, the plot is that you actually meet through a job. he needs to infiltrate an extremely high security IPC base (ideally without tipping anyone off until it's too late), and it turns out that there's a tunnel system that runs right underneath the compound; trouble is that it isn't so simple to navigate. you're his golden ticket, because you can lead him straight there, no problem. or... it should be no problem, but little does he realize that this job won't be so simple after all.

shenanigans ensue. the two of you stay in contact for spoiler reasons, and also grow uniquely close (also for spoiler reasons) in a way that very rapidly breaks down the emotional barriers both of you keep up. you also just click super well, and he finds that he quite enjoys your company! things stay casual for quite some time. he visits your planet when he gets the chance, for business or for pleasure, and he takes no small amount of delight in your friendship. with time, the two of you develop a flirty kind of dynamic that reaaaaally blends the lines between platonic and romantic. it only takes a particularly pointed joke from you about giving him head as a reward for something comically benign for him to think "ah, fuck. that sounds a little too appealing doesn't it."

to be perfectly honest, i think it'd take a lot for him to ask you out first - not because he doesn't want to, but because he feels like he can't give you what you deserve. for the foreseeable future, his time would always be divided between you and his revenge, and he's extremely aware that you deserve better than to be forced to fight for his attention. you deserve someone that you can wake up beside every day, that you can eat dinner with, that you can go out in public with without fear. how can a man that doesn't see himself as alive possibly match you, someone that's so profoundly full of life? so he sits and simmers in his feelings, which grow increasingly complicated.

as for the reader in Steel Hands, Soft Heart... well, you're kind of a mess LOL. you're generally anxious and oblivious and uncertain, but you also fear complicating your relationship with boothill. you value his friendship very highly, and in your mind, it would be preferable to choke down your rapidly developing feelings rather than risk ruining your relationship. but there are a suspicious amount of half-jokes about dating him or kissing him or doing any other number of definitively non-platonic things.

ultimately, boothill is the one to break the tension first. he kinda speedruns through every stage of grief when he realizes that you're waaaaaay too flighty and nervous to be brave enough to seriously ask him out, and the building anticipation is absolutely killing him. once he breaks the ice (with the qualifier that things don't actually NEED to change between you, whether or not you return his feelings), things are actually pretty smooth sailing.

your relationship is one that is, above all, defined by patience. i can't imagine him being with anyone that isn't understanding about his responsibilities and his mission, even if he feels really bad about it. otherwise, it would be the root of a ton of underlying tension, and i think it'd boil over eventually. if you pulled an ultimatum on him - told him to choose between you or his vengeance - his choice would change depending on how close you were, but the end result would be the same: he would never be able to let go of his past. it would Haunt Him. if he stayed with you, he'd spend just as much time thinking about it as he would've spent actually doing something about it. it would drive him to leave you, sooner or later, but to say that he'd feel guilty about it is an understatement.

sooooo it's a good thing that the thought is basically inconceivable to the SHSH reader. like, the idea is kind of revolting. (in my characterization, anyway lol.) once the two of you settle into a rhythm, you fit really well together. he covers your weaknesses and learns to work with all of your quirks, and vice versa. world's most casual power couple 👏

[justanotherquinnfan]

If you could do your first time over, would you?

Yeah, I know it's been a minute. Any creative endeavor for me is always a struggle for me to maintain the motivation that only a strong hyperfixation can give you. So what I'm having to deal with is a HOST of unfinished drafts, but hopefully that means more posts in the near future.

I listened not too long ago to one of Chris Yamez's newer audios, Brain and Brawn (Part 1). First of all, let's send out a virtual congrats to Chris for making it to 1 million listens! Amazing and well-deserved! This particular audio deals with a well-loved, well-tread trope of the the "Jock and the Geek falling for each other," a favorite of mine as a self-described geek. Chris is one of the more favored creators on this app and for good reason. He is funny and charming and a fantastic actor. Whether you go in for some of the stuff he posts or not, you are always guaranteed a fun time. That's why, though I'm not a huge fan of audios that depict someone younger than me (even if they are just playing a character like in this case), I gave it a try and boy am I glad I did! See below the cut for spoilers and ramblings that abound!

In this particular audio, we see Chris as a football player being forced to have a tutor, the Listener. He tries to beg, bargain and cajole the Listener into letting him go, even so far as to say one of the most shocking sentences I've ever heard just blithely tossed out, "I am going to a threesome later that I need to wash my balls for" (or something to that effect). The beginning is uproariously funny and beautifully depicted as the Listener has no time for his bullshit and WILL call his mother if he doesn't sit his ass down and do his homework. We get a sense of the dynamic immediately and that, if nothing else, keeps me sat!

What I love about Chris' writing here is that he turns the trope on its head a little bit. The jock character is secretly very smart and studious, which is also trope-y, BUT the reason for keeping it a secret is not shame. Most of the time, this archetype is written to be embarrassed that they don't quite follow the crowd, so they lie to fit in. Chris, on the other hand, simply sees it as just unnecessary to put his all into schoolwork at this time. There is so much to enjoy as a young, presumably beautiful, and vivacious young man, why spend any time studying? Particularly when there are threesomes just waiting to happen?

Why indeed?

But as he has this conversation with the Listener, he realizes that she hasn't followed a similar point of view to him up until now. She is smart, she studies and she hasn't been with anyone. So, in the way that all these stories go, he gently persuades her by offering to take his shirt off for her to take a picture of him for herself and then offering whatever else she might be interested in.

Now, here is why I really enjoy this story: we all remember high school, we remember that boys (and girls and theys) were maybe not the most patient or mature, especially when it came to sex. Even in fiction, this would potentially lead to making out, which would lead to one or both characters losing their virginity. What Chris does instead is allow space for exploration without an end goal. Meaning, while he's not disinterested in having sex with the Listener, he is understanding of where she is in her sexual journey and is happy to maintain whatever boundaries she has. This is a very mature take on a concept that is often taken the more juvenile route.

So here we have the stereotypical jock, except not really, he is merely wearing the stereotype as a costume to live life to the fullest and here we have the stereotypical geek, except not really because she is willing to put herself out on a limb to get something she wants. This, to me, makes the whole concept so much more fun and it asks the question: if you could go back and do it all over but with a more seasoned mindset, would you?

Reader, my first time happened in my early 20s and even then, I was so innocent to a lot of things that I wish I hadn't given that moment to the person I gave it to. I would have loved to have been with someone who saw me as a true person and wanted to have fun within the boundaries set. But it is what it is and that's why we have fantasy, right? Would I go back if I had someone like this character offering me the chance to enjoy some physical gratification without worrying that it would be used against me at school? Heck yes, I would! And even though I can't, I do feel like this has gone a bit of a ways towards healing some parts of my inner-teenager.

Now, I won't go into detail about the shenanigans that Chris' jock has with the Listener because I would love for people to give it a listen themselves and then come back with their opinions, but what I will say is that he handles the situation masterfully. There is no penetration, just exploration as far as the Listener would allow.

But my favorite part, honestly? Is after they finish, they are talking to each other and he so bashfully asks if they were planning to meet the same time the next day. Gone was the bravado, the confidence, and the persona and what was left was the endearing shyness borne of a teenager who realizes he likes the girls he's with even more than he originally thought and really hopes she feels the same way. It made me smile and really start to root for him, which is hilarious to do in a first-person erotic audio.

Honestly, if you have the time, please check this one out! For as popular as Chris Yamez is, he is still CRIMINALLY underrated and deserves all the love!

[kohakhearts]

for fic writer meme: 7, 18, 26, and 40, and feel free to answer for both fic and original work if you want :D

thank you!! :D

7: how do you choose which pov to write from?

in terms of 3rd/2nd/1st, usually i default to 3rd but some stories just...are meant to be 1st person, if that makes sense lol. like i have one original project where the mc gets possessed by a demon at some point and it's told in 1st person to like...really solidify the idea that they've become one person in a sense. in terms of which character the pov follows, that's just a result of blorboism LOL. in original works it's just...who the first character i conceived of was, usually. i'd say the protagonist but lets be real - nerissa is NOT the protagonist of osa. she's his older sister :p (she gets protag status by oes on account of getting herself killed so he doesn't have to put himself in harm's way anymore ofc)

18: do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? how do you come up with titles?

it really depends on the fic. sometimes i have a title before anything else. sometimes it comes midway through after i've written a particular line and been like "oh that's good, let's make that the title!" and sometimes it's well after the fact when i'm staring at the ao3 draft like what the fuck do i call you. i'd say usually it's the first scenario though, and then i try to work the title into the text somehow. i've taken inspiration from a lot of things for titles, but in general i like my titles to reference specific lines or motifs in the fic itself!

26: which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

...pretty much any multichapter i've ever written LOL. i'll give a special shoutout to ratc and entanglement for being ideas that i was like "oh this will be like 10k words probably lol" and then turning into novels. entanglement in particular, for getting so long i had no choice but to divide it into chapters lmao

40: if someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

ok there are actually a lot HAHA. i was going to commission a piece of nerissa and poseidon from the scene in oes where they're sitting on the back step at emerson's house after poseidon accidentally possessed her. that's definitely one i'd love to see an artistic rendition of. and probably the final scene in oes, too, or the scene in osa where nerissa carries him out of the sea at namthi!

as for fic...i have a lot of fic, so i'll try to keep this short hjsdfhjdkf but in terms of recent ones...there's this scene from this year's christmas fic where goh kissed gary for the first time:

or tbh...i'd love to see an artistic rendition of my palletshipping hanahaki au. y'know, for the flower imagery

or like ANY scene from sound sleepless, honestly. i love those quiet, late-night conversations (relatedly...a friend drew a scene out of common ground a few years ago, which i ADORE). the scene near the end with ash and lucario is also a fave of mine that i think would make a really sweet drawing.

there's also a scene in entanglement that i won't share bc it's big plot spoilers but it's one of those sappy "character a is crying and character b wipes the tears off their face" scenes we all know and love haha

ok i'll stop here but genuinely....there are so many. and i have received a few fanarts for scenes or character in osa that i love so, so much. and i would love any kind of art someone drew for something i wrote. i love that spirit of collaboration that comes out of things like that!!!

get to know your fic writer!

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

no director's commentary?

my dash turned evil for a few Hours, sorry everypony

***SPOILERS***

did everyone have fun today i hope everyone had fun.

let's address it:

the decision to bring max back was something i sat on for a while. in my original draft of this season, NO ONE was coming back. remember courtney from tda? she sued. who else would sue? not patrick, he's making a ton of money just hosting the aftermath. julia, in my personal view of her life, wouldn't have the resources to do so. staci isn't petty like that. courtney wouldn't, and ass wouldn't care enough to go even if they were forced. max, on the other hand, comes from at least some wealth. he goes to a private school. and he'd be petty enough to sue.

also, motivation. why did courtney tda come back? because she felt she was cheated out of the million from harold tampering with the votes- it was unfair to her.

what reason would the other players have to come back? and besides the money? juluffy is still fanon (sorry) and courtney would feel confident enough about bonnie being with caesar. staci and ass wouldnt have any real motivation either, although you can argue they would, but for ass, they are incredibly apathetic and only really do things if they want to. they don't want to be on tta. staci, a) wouldn't have kin reasons to go back since td staci wasn't ever in a film set environment and b) wouldn't have alex reasons to go back because putting themselves back on the show would feel like they were trying to prove something again, which they're not interested in. they're a pretty confident person now on their own. i just wouldnt have an arc for them.

why max? consider if you will, for a moment, that max and michela (at the start of tta) were each other's only friends. max has to sit in a peanut gallery full of people who hate him, and michela has to compete on a team full of people she either doesn't know or who she hates. just from maxes pov, this is a little unfair! they only had a little time outside of shooting, and even then they were too busy to really spend time together (this'll be discussed later on). like imagine your girlfriend gets sent to a summer camp with her ex, her ex best friend who she's known from childhood and who she had a massive falling out with, multiple OTHER people you dislike, and a bunch of relative strangers. that would be stressful, and max has a very delicate psyche. he gets sick when he worries too much.

otherwise, joner was never a finalist for me because that would be weird to write. but I needed to give him something to do, and it felt right for him to rekindle his friendship with michela. his choice to convince chris was also important because he's learned that hey, romance happens! and it doesn't make friendships any less important. befriending sha-mod and bringing maxchela back together was a significant sign of his growth and it resolved some of his insecurities around his friends not needing him.

ultimately, max just felt like the right choice to balance out a lot of these character arcs. and besides scary, we don't really have any mean characters on the island, either, which is like what! what are we supposed to do here! but I also don't want to sit scary back and have a very intelligent, super main character baddie like julia take the stage, having max (who she already has a rivalry with) come back just makes more sense in writing.

also, a few months ago, tumblr user maxchael made a suggestion (though I mightve just made that up in my head tbh) for max's character that i want to include in a later episode. because it sounded funny.

a lot of people have already guessed who the next elim will be. for that i say, get ready

[deadpresidents]

A writing question if you don't mind-when you write those longer articles or essays, do you write by hand or typing? How many drafts do you normally go through? I'm trying to find my own voice as a writer and any suggestions on process would be much appreciated!

My writing process is terrible and I am embarrassingly undisciplined when it comes to writing. I barely even write anymore! It used to be so much easier for me and my problem was that I was ridiculously long-winded, but now I have trouble just getting focused enough to knock out a few paragraphs. I'd kill to go back to the days where I just started writing and everything flowed, but it's almost as if someone flipped a switch and I just ran out of power. I have no idea when things changed, but they definitely did so over the past few years.

I have no formal training as a writer. (Obviously.) I've never taken a writing class or workshop, but I wish I had done so years ago. I feel like I've handicapped myself over the years because everything was self-taught and I really could have benefited from some sort of foundation. I never learned how to outline anything or even make some sort of rudimentary plan for the topic I plan to write about. I have a couple of notebooks with various ideas that I consider writing about, but the "ideas" are usually just two or three words I've quickly jotted down to remind myself of topics I might want to explore. And I imagine that 98% of those ideas are never revisited. Like I said, I'm awful at this stuff.

When I do finally zero in on something and start writing, I just start typing. In fact, I almost always just start directly writing whatever it is that I'm writing about as a Tumblr post. I don't write anything by hand and rarely even use something like Pages or Microsoft Word. I just start making a post. Here's the really dumb part: not only do I not write numerous drafts, but I usually just sit down and write stuff in one sitting, from beginning to end. If I get stuck or lost or don't feel like I can find the right ending for what I'm writing, I'll just delete the post. I have no idea how many words I've written on Tumblr over the past 15 years (!!!), but everything I've published is just a fraction of the stuff I discarded because I wasn't happy with it or wasn't feeling it. Even the things that I didn't complete give up on are frozen in time in the drafts of my Tumblr dashboard. They are currently 128 drafts saved to my Tumblr dashboard. I couldn't even guess when (or if) I've ever revisited those drafts; it's as if I kept them around just in case I completely and utterly change the manner in which I've created content over the years. Spoiler alert: I will not.

I'm an idiot, quite frankly, and should have taken some sort of writing classes years ago. I probably would have created a ton of content if I had some sort of a foundation that allowed me to craft better stories without feeling the need to start over at the first sign of trouble. If I'm writing something else that isn't intended to be published on Tumblr, I still have a similar "process" where I try to write my piece in one sitting and toss it all if it doesn't feel right.

I implore you not to try my idiotic writing "process" at home. It's undeniably counterproductive and I wish the Men In Black would have used their little memory erasing machine on me to erase those bad habits over the years. It's shocking that I was actually able to publish as much content as I have over the years despite not having the slightest idea of how to effectively and consistently write!

With all that said, I will add this about finding your voice or your own writing style: just keep doing what feels good to you. If you enjoy writing -- as I genuinely did at one point -- it doesn't matter what other people think about your work. It's yours and unless you're taking some sort of class or working some sort of job, nobody has any right to grade what you're doing. When you start worrying about how other people are going to judge your work it starts to actually feel like work, and if writing is an important outlet for you, it's important to not let strangers get in your way. That's when it stops being fun or fulfilling and if it's not one of those things or you're not getting paid money to make the changes to your work that people think you should make, then what's the use of writing in the first place?

[starglitterz]

don’t apologize! please take your time when answering my long asks (which is most of them, i guess we’re both yappers at heart) ❤️ i’m so proud of you for getting through your first year of uni, it must’ve come with some difficult moments and many challenges — you’re so close! i’m sure you’ll ace your finals. kiss of life & lesserafim are some of my favorite girl groups too, i hope you’ll be able to see at least one of them soon! 𐔌ᵔ ܸ . .ᵔ ꣓

i’ve been doing well, i have many exams coming up (one tomorrow, actually & a few in may). as for how well i’ll do on them, i’m not entirely certain … but i’ll try my best!

rafayel’s been dodging everyone who actually wants him 🙂‍↔️✋ he might get dumped if he keeps this up (for caleb — what! who said that!)

you’re very sweet :3c thank you so much! i may cave in and make one for kunigami then. unfortunately, igaguri kissers do indeed exist — i stumbled upon them on tiktok … revealing their secret love for him through a few trendy audios 😭 of course, i was in shock. it’s like encountering an extinct species 🫢

another sakadays watcher :0 that’s so cool! i hope you get to finish it soon, it’s so silly /pos!! apothecary diaries was a recommendation from one of my friends, though i never watched it until recently (it was recommended to me literal MONTHS ago 😭) but i understand what you mean, i’m very excited to see your reaction to it 🤞 i also watched 7th time loop in one sitting despite it not having a dub, it’s extremely underrated i fear !!

i’m sure your wattpad works must’ve been masterpieces, courtesy of babie quill 🥺💖 i do write here! though, i haven’t written anything in ages since i’m just now starting to get back into it after many months of writer’s block. i have a few drafts, but i don’t have the motivation to start any of them as of yet — so i might write something entirely unrelated to them (#writercore) !! as for the fandoms i write for, too many to count i fear. primarily for hoyoverse games (though i’m losing my interest in genshin due to its disappointing updates lately)

i also added a few animes to my roster, though i may put them in a miscellaneous category since i don’t see myself writing for them THAT much to the point where they deserve their own spots in my masterlist. speaking of animes, blue lock is one of them! which i see an itoshi sae fake dating series in your wip list 🙈 i’m super excited to read & reblog! it looks super interesting and with your writing style it’ll be museum worthy for sure 💝

i’m not certain if you’ve ever seen my fics, i don’t think so 🤔 that’s a good thing though since at the time i had a hate-hate relationship w/ my inconsistent writing style. i’m doing a lot better now though !! as for if you’ve seen me around at all, there’s a possibility since i am friends with a mutual of yours (no spoilers) 😼 did that give me away… hope not??

i love matching your freak!! you’re a literal icon, i’m very honored to be able to talk to you like this :)

— 💤

HEHEHE i love yapping and i always get so excited whenever i see your asks, it's only bc my irl schedule is always kicking my ass that it takes so long to reply 💔 and yess!! i'm honestly also shocked i made it through my first year LMAO, i threatened to drop out probably 92838957 times </3 and i really hope i get to see at least one of them, it's just that tickets are sooo expensive and i'm unfortunately a brokie KJSDKJAWKS 😭 and omg you listen to kpop too?! what are your fave songs by both groups? and also do you listen to boy groups too 👀

aww by the time i'm getting to this ask your first exam would already have finished, but i'm sure you did amazing bb!!! don't stress, i'm sure you worked very hard for it <3 and good luck for your papers in may as well!!!! doing your best is what counts hehe, i'll be cheering for you!

rafayel... the things i want to say to this man!!! i will literally fry this fishie if he doesn't come home asap on whatever his next banner is istg 😡 BUT i did end up getting his limited myth! so he lives to see another day HAHAHA <33 as for caleb... is it js me or a lot of raf girlies are also caleb girlies 🤭 (definitely not speaking from personal experience)

and YESS please do! as i said, i would genuinely love to read it if you do make one 🫶 and omg... you're so right abt the extinct species thing HAHAHA THEY SHOULDN'T EVEN EXIST!!! /silly

and omg YES i will be binging sakadays & knh this week! i'll tell u everything i think of it after 🙂‍↕️ knox will def be happy abt that LOL <33 and i've never heard of 7th time loop, what is it abt? 👀

girl they were definitely Not masterpieces but i appreciate the sentiment 😭🥹🫶 and omg!!! that's so nice to hear that you're getting back into writing, i guess we're in the same boat then <3 AHAHA THAT IS LITERALLY SO WRITERCORE,,, always starting new drafts and never finishing them 😔 but omg you write for hyv too!!!!!!!! unfortunately i've also been losing interest in genshin </3 like you said the new updates are just so meh 😭 the new leaked 5star does look cute though, the fontainian chef i think? i do like ifa but i wish he was a 5star,,, but i doubt i'll be coming back to the game unless they suddenly announce like kokomi rerun or smth HAHAHA

and ohh okay okay! i get that as well <3 have you watched windbreaker by any chance? it's a relatively recent anime that i rly liked hehe, it has similar vibes to haikyuu/blue lock somehow??? idk LMAO 😭 and omg YAYYY BLUE LOCK FANS UNITE 🔥🔥🔥i would love to see you write for them 👀 HAHASKJDKSD i'm excited but also nervous for the sae series, it'll be my first time doing an entirely written series instead of a smau,,, so i'm js trying to relax & have fun with it hehe 🙂‍↕️ and STOPKSDKSJD you're too sweet thank you so much 🥹 i hope i won't let you down!!!

aww that's a shame that i haven't seen your fics, but you never know!!! i might have 👀 and omg girl i'm sure your writing was AMAZING and it's def only gotten even better now 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🫶 and omg WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO??? i'm so curious now HAHAHA 😭 to be honest i am kind of oblivious and also kind of an idiot so don't worry at all you didn't give yourself away LMAO <333

and STOPPP you're way too nice pookie i am literally just some random girl on tumblr 😭🫶 i'm also sososo happy to talk with you like this hehehe, i always have a lot of fun answering your asks!!! TAKE CAREE MWAH <333

[justparkerluck]

And now... thoughts on a comic from someone super new to comics!!!

This week on justparkerluck, I share my thoughts on:

"Nightwing: Year One" - 6 Issues | March 2005 - May 2005 — written by Chuck Dixon + Scott Beatty & illustrated by Scott McDaniel + Andy Owens

Notes before the review:

— This has also been sitting in drafts for so long. It is just so annoying making these into posts because god, I talk so much. My notes are basically just a disoriented essay.

Spoilers for the comic below the cut*

First: random notes (oh my god I talk so much).

Just really great looking off the bat- they make great use of thicker line art to give a bit of edge instead of relying on realism. I wouldn't call realism bad, I just really don't like it

I like that Dixon makes the exposition notes in the perspective of the characters- Alfred's journal, Bruce's files, Barbara's notes. In this it seems to be a letter from Dick to Bruce. It's just a really great way of giving exposition without feeling overly lazy

I'll touch on this further in another review (Batman #408-409), but I much prefer this Clayface confrontation as the reason for Nightwing's origin than the Joker confrontation. I think the version with Joker could be better than this one but it's badly done. This version of the Nightwing origin feels so much more fleshed out

A minor detail but I dislike some of the characterisation of Superman in this. I like that Dick can go to him and that he's reliable. But he seems to treat his humanity as a facade and I don't think that fits. Despite being a Kryptonian, I think Superman should above all else, display humanity.

This is a really solid first introduction to Deadman. I've only really heard of him in passing before this and I know he was like lightly referenced in "Batgirl: Year One." I was worried about him potentially being a villain but he just seems to be a really solid guy with a fun set of powers- I wanna look more into him in the future

It's so cute that Jim gave dick a little sheriffs badge. It's also nice to see he still trusts Dick. I just love any Jim Gordon content y'all

Its actually hilarious that Dick saves a guy from carjackers only to find he has bodies in the car. Gotham is so sick and I love seeing that sickness out for show in the most casual ways.

I hate that they're still doing Babs/Dick. I've just never liked the ship and I feel there's better alternatives with much more chemistry. They literally mention Kori in the same panel.

Second: Thoughts on each character:

Thoughts on Dick Grayson

“I'm not sure why I went to Metropolis, but I just needed to talk to a grown-up. Someone who doesn't spend his days in a cave.” Good for Dick, cause Bruce isn't a fucking adult. I like that Dick goes to Clark. It's important he has someone to talk to that isn't in Bruce's pocket the way that Alfred or even Jim is.

“But I dedicated my life to being Robin. And I always thought-“ "That someday you’d be Batman.” I love that Dick had assumed he would be Batman. That he had to follow Bruce's steps. That now, he's forced to figure out his own future and step out of that shadow.

Dick originally getting the Robin costume from his parents colours has been something I've appreciated since I found out about it. It's cute and it gives the Robin title a level of pressure that Dick has to live up to. The other Robins have to live up to the Robin legacy- Dick has to live up to what his parents would want from him. And then I like that carrying forward into the Nightwing costume originating with his dads old circus getup.

The miscommunication is crazy- we see Dick considering robin “a defunct concept” meanwhile Bruce is actively putting a new kid in the suit

It's so crazy that Dick breaks into Arkham literally just to tell the Joker he was still there to kick his ass- that's not important, it's just funny

Dick is absolutely right to be hurt at being completely replaced by this ass of a kid. It's just so irresponsible of Bruce and it's crazy he didn't even warn Dick

I like this characterisation of Dick. That he puts on a goofy optimistic face even when he's in danger. It's fun and adds a lot levity. Robin has always been the cheery, youthful, bright part of the dynamic duo and its nice seeing him carry that forward into his time as Nightwing

The little-wing nickname he gives Jason is so cute. Man he's gonna be so fucked up when Jason dies

“You were the best father you could be. Given the circumstances.” Dude this fucked me up

Thoughts on Bruce Wayne

I hate that Bruce treats these kids like soldiers. I understand why he fires Dick here- it is the reasonable thing to do. The kid is spread far too thin. However, he goes about it terrible. This is more like he's simply discarding his kid. “Robin is my second.. my lieutenant. Anything less than total devotion into this cause is simply wasting my time.”

This is such a bad look for Bruce. He fires his own kid and then kidnaps an identical one. And immediately putting Jason in the suit isn't any better. Though, I do like this as a follow up to Jason's origin

God, I hate that he's putting Jason through a gauntlet. It's tag too, rather than hide and seek this time. He's such a fucker. Its like he thinks he's found a child soldier formula

Okay so i can understand an organic rift building between Batman and Dick's Robin over the years and I can understand Batman being a manipulative ass. That isn't new.

There's always been a bit of a gap between them- may i remind us of “You don't want a partner and you don't need a son.” (Robin: Year One) The age gap between them isn't big enough for Bruce to be this kid's dad. Bruce is thinking of this kid as his ward- not his son.

And he's not the kindest, he's a dick for the sake of the greater good. If he thinks it's for the better, he might be an ass. Dick was spreading himself thin and getting sloppy. But he's grown used to the fact it is better for him to have a partner so he recruits again.

But my criticism of the writing- my major gripe is that Bruce is just a bit stupid? It doesn't make sense for him to think the Two Face gauntlet plan would work. Two Face is a high profile criminal. Maybe if he did it in a contained environment but he didn't. This is weirdly out of character and it just doesn't make sense. The plan was never going to go right

Thoughts on Jason Todd

He is so disrespectful to Alfred, good lord. I love Jason but this behaviour is atrocious.

“You’re old… you’re him. The guy I replaced. Look, you're over, okay?” He is such an ass, it's so funny

“This is the test, isn't it? Has-been versus the new and improved model. I take down the original to get my wings.” I think this makes Jason's later view of Tim as a "replacement" make so much sense. Jason's feelings of being replaced stemming from the fact he knows he was someone's replacement is so gutting. He was blatantly a replacement for Dick- there's no getting around that. And so when he's gone and there's a new Robin, it makes sense for him to view that as his own replacement.

The relationship that Jason and Dick end up developing is so cute. Just Dick looking out for him and being totally endeared to this kid even though Jason is an ass. It's really cute

Thoughts on Alfred Pennyworth

He is just so endearing all the time, despite the criticism I always have. Alfred is incredibly endearing

I love that Alfred puts up the robin suit against Bruce's wishes. It forces Bruce to stare at his decision and reckon with any regret he might have.

“Then perhaps it can serve as a reminder to the next hapless youth in your employ. The standards to which he must aspire.” This is an absolutely crushing line.

However, despite saying that, he watches as Bruce brings in Jason and he just goes along with it

It's fantastic that he has criticisms of Bruce but he will never do anything about it

Alfred giving Dick the suit is terrific- it made me a little emotional if I'm being honest. I like to see him being supportive and standing by Dick after all the worry he had when Bruce dismissed him.

Third: Did I like it?

I had my fair share of criticisms and I stand by them but yes, I did really like this

I think its probably my least favourite of the "Year One" Dixon trilogy

Still, very solid- most of the characterisations were very well done and it offers the version of Dick's retirement that I prefer

Also, lowkey, had me tearing up towards the end

Lastly: Here have some art:

Final Notes:

— Someone just like tell me to shut up while I'm reading a comic. Editing all my thoughts was hell. This is probably only half of the original notes. I have so much stuff piled in my drafts and I'm just tryna get it all out before starting new stuff but guysss, the absolute series and Invincible are calling my nameeee

Thanks for reading! Engage with the post and take care of urself! Bye!!!

[littlewalken]

sep 15

Did anyone ask Timmy what he thinks about the word spastic because I think we should.

Extra points for hearing that in Butter's voice.

I'd campaign for I'm Spasticus (I'm Sparticus) to become a rallying cry for disabled people but at this present time I'd also be concerned with the self diagnosed faking for attention and entitled give me free airline seats crowds messing it up.

Meanwhile a new Kane Pixels Backrooms episode has dropped. No spoilers. I need to have a few yew chubers help me understand what I watched but he really builds the tension. You're sitting there for 45 minutes looking for the bacteria and any mention of Rohners along with everything else. By the end there's some new and heavy ideas to contemplate. He also has a video on visiting the site of the Valley View mall in Dallas.

On my writing end I haven't had the uninterrupted time to get to work on the next draft of the Smallville smut but I've jotted down some other ideas.

When my body cooperates it doesn't take that long to move the books or the little graham cracker shelves they're warping. Didn't say the pretty sure it's bamboo spine doesn't hurt the whole time, I just don't have anyone else to do it. Or at least listen to me explain how to do it and not ignore what I said and do it how they want to do it.

I'm comic book accurate Wolverine sized so I don't like tall stacked things, and hoarding grandma's home was always aisles thru tall stacks so I refuse to live that way, and my brain injury wants to see what I have instead of rows of solid color bins or something.

When the fuck did I buy a wood burning/stamping tool? Don't know because it's been packed away for years. I spent most of the time in the shit shack wondering if I still had some molds I had made for doll heads because I couldn't get to most of my crafts because they got buried by...

Altho I had to help move all the boxes there was a joy in all the fragile glass unicorns someone was sure they had wrapped carefully having been turned into shards. It seemed like every time we went to the one thrift store 100 of them came home. Pissed off my dog decanter was one of the victims but that's the price you have to pay some times.

[starsonthewalls]

WIP Wednesday

so a friend/irl nuisance double-dared me to start "sharing content in the process, it doesn't have to be good". it sounded a lot better and inspiring when he said it ngl.

so here's a segment from tell me where the good men go, my beloved batfam medieval fantasy au.

Rating: Teen and Up Category: Gen Relationships: Dick Grayson & Tim Drake, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Tim Drake & Cassandra Cain & Damian Wayne & Duke Thomas Additional Tags: Presumed Dead (Dick), Magic Medieval Fantasy AU

Additional Context: Dick's been presumed dead by his siblings for three years, for Reasons that are relevant to the overall plot lol (no spoilers!!) In those three years, he traveled across the continent, met up with the Wally and Garth (and later Donna and Roy ala classic Fab Five) to form the Titans. Eventually, news of the Titans and their mysterious leader makes its way back East to Gotham, prompting people to investigate.

This is a Tim-centered POV of some of the events that lead up to Dick's highly-exaggerated disappearance, and how he's been coping in the present, and it's been sitting in my drafts for... three years, roughly. Enjoy!

~•~

Before 

“I don’t like it.” 

“Hm. Tough.” 

Tim doesn’t do something so undignified as whine, though it’s a very close thing. Dick is a big brother several times over, and is very used to Little Sibling Dramatics, and therefore manages to restrain from rolling his eyes or calling Tim a little brat. Jason and Damian have no such restraint. 

“You made this plan, Tim,” Jason says, poking Tim in the shoulder just as he starts yet another misguided attempt to sit up on his own strength. Tim makes a little wheezing sound- not entirely unlike the noise a balloon makes as it deflates- and all but collapses back onto his pillows. This, of course, sets off Jason’s mothering tendencies, which in turn sets off another round of Tim’s not-whining ‘I’m fine’s that none of them are inclined to believe anymore. 

Jason’s scowl grows into a truly fearsome thing (not that any of them are in any way affected by it) as he fusses over the multitude of blankets and pillows that surround Tim. “As I recall,” he says as he works, voice dry, “we were very concerned about the amount of risks incorporated into this plan, but you were the one who insisted that ‘it’s really nothing to worry about, you see,’ and ‘you’re all being unreasonably ridiculous and overprotective about this.’”

“Yes, well, things were different. Are different,” Tim bites out as he lies back against the (newly fluffed) pillows. Tim’s skin, already naturally pale, is nearly as white as the clean sheets he’s lying against, and the absence of further protest from him at Jason’s fussing makes the rest of them exchange glances. 

None of the others had been present when Dick had sat down with Alfred and Lady Thompkins as she'd solemnly walked them through the damage Tim's time with Ra's had done to his body, and the long road to recovery that loomed over Dick's second-youngest brother.

"I was clearly compromised," Tim ends up snapping at Jason's prodding, stubbornly trying once again to sit up on his won. "It's a stupid plan, and no-one's going through with it."

“Things were different,” Tim snaps, struggling to sit upright. He doesn't quite manage it, but he does find the strength to bat away Jason's hands. “I was compromised. It’s a stupid plan, and no-one’s going through with it.” 

“Why?” Dick asks, softly. “Because you’re no longer the one carrying it out?” 

None of them quite freeze at the implications of Dick’s question, though there is a tenseness in the way they all settle afterwards, gravitating to Tim’s bed from where they are scattered across the room. 

Tim himself gives up on sitting upright, falling back onto sweat-damp sheets and pillows with a huff. After a moment, he grabs a pillow and throws it- judging by the direction, he's aiming for Damian, but weakened as he is, it just falls sadly over the edge. Jason sighs at the destruction of his hard work and opts to carefully pull Tim forward, supporting him all the while, so that Dick can plump the pillows up against the headboard and settle against them. Once done, he holds his arms open to lean Tim back against his chest while Jason sits on Tim's other side. Duke takes a seat at the foot of the bed, a hand on Tim's ankle, while Cass gracefully slots herself next to Tim, her head on Jason's lap. Damian clambers up and sits near Tim's feet, arms wrapped around Tim's fallen pillow, glaring petulantly at nothing in particular. Tim nudges him with his foot, and Damian gently whaps him with the pillow, and it's enough to bring smiles to everyone's faces, for a moment.

Dick brushes back Tim’s sweat-soaked bangs, studying the unhealthy paleness of his brother’s skin. Underneath the soaked nightshirt, he knows, bandages near-completely wrap around his brother's torso. Tim catches him looking and rolls his eyes. “I’m fine. This is fine. The wound’s settled nicely, and the healers give me less than a month before I’m back to full capacity.”

“Funny,” Duke murmurs. “I could’ve sworn it was longer. Two, three months, wasn’t it, Cass?”

“Mn,” Cassandra hums agreeably, carding her fingers through Tim’s hair. Tim makes an antagonized sound. 

“Duke,” he groans. “Please shut up.” 

“No,” Duke says pleasantly, at the same time Cass gently chastises him. “Injuries aren’t an excuse to be rude,” she says, her voice still soft but firm. 

“Yes, Cass,” Tim sighs, ignoring Duke’s pleased grin and Jason’s snort. He lets it slide because he knows that they’re just as bad as he is when it comes to indulging their sister, who is a force of nature and one of the best things in this world, and therefore they had no room to talk. 

The silence that fills the room afterwards is neither unpleasant nor comfortable. They are well-attuned to one another, all of them, and they know the outcome of the conversation- if it can even be called that, Tim thinks bitterly, what with him an invalid laid up in bed like some damsel in distress. 

“I don’t like it,” he says again, but it’s softer this time. Quieter, and full of resignation. His eyes flicker up to meet Dick’s. “It’s not safe,” his voice is pleading, even if he knows it won’t make a difference. He’d defended his case and the risks involved far too well last time, and even as his brain raced, trying to restructure the plan now, he couldn’t think of anything that would be as effective, or didn’t risk another one of their siblings. Dick only smiles indulgently at him as he continues to gently card his fingers through Tim’s hair. 

“Good,” he says brightly. “Now, when you make plans, you’ll be making them as if we were the ones carrying them out, and maybe we’ll get you a sense of self-preservation yet.” 

“I hate you.”

“Okay, little brother.”

“That’s not how this works.” 

“I’m older therefore I know better therefore this is exactly how it works.” 

“I’m stealing your coffee supply.”

“Mkay.”

“All of it.” 

“I look forward to hearing you defend a sudden increase in coffee consumption to Alfred.”

...

"Be careful."

"I always am."

"...come home?"

...

"I'll do my very best."

Now

There are two jars of coffee beans in the royal family kitchens- one is plain gray and utilitarian. The other is garishly painted in red, yellow, and green, as if by a child. There are chips and scratches on the base, and the red robin on top of the lid is missing a wing and has glue smeared messily around it from the last time it fell off and was put back. Dick's name is engraved in gold on the front.

Years ago, Tim had sat at the marble counter of the small kitchenette in the Royal family’s inner rooms, watching intently as Dick Grayson, then-heir to the throne of Gotham, had taught him how to make coffee for the first time. “The secret, Timmy,” he’d said, pulling the colorful jar close for Tim to inspect, “is in the beans. The ones we get here in the palace are alright,” Dick had pulled a silly expression, making Tim laugh, “But mine are special and so much better. You’ll see.” 

Truthfully, Tim hadn’t liked the bitter drink very much at first, though Dick was right that it was better than the stuff they drank more regularly. He’d delighted in the scandalized faces Dick had made as he’d added liberal amounts of cream and honey to his cup to make it palatable. It had become a tradition, eventually, for Tim to gravitate to Dick’s corner of the kitchen in the early mornings and help his brother prepare coffee for the family. 

When Dick and the others had left him and Damian for the campaign against Ra’s, years ago, Tim had seriously contemplated emptying Dick’s special stores of coffee beans (he'd found all of them years ago) as a form of petty revenge. 

He had ended up hiding them, and then crying over the stupid jar for months before finally returning it to the kitchens. No one had said anything about it, though they’d cancelled court after Damian had first spotted it and consequently disappeared for the rest of the morning. 

Tim reaches instead for the dull gray container, measuring out the beans and grinding them with the ease of familiarity while carefully monitoring the pot set to boil over the stove. The routine grounds him in the foreign silence of the early morning and the empty kitchen. Normally, the royal family kitchens were filled with sound and movement as the siblings maneuvered around one another in the familiar dance of preparing for the day ahead. 

But Cass, Jason, and Damian had gone West three months now, and Duke had been called away to settle a spat between two minor fiefs to the northern borders about a week ago- leaving Tim to manage the affairs of court by himself. 

‘So much for none of us carrying the burden of a throne by ourselves,’ Tim can’t help thinking, a little bitterly. He checks the pot again, draining half the water into the sink before he pours the coffee grounds and takes it off the stove. Three months, and he still prepares too much water lest Damian complain about not having any left for his tea. One would think that he’d get used to the absence after so long. 

But then again, he thinks, turning back to stare at the red-yellow-green jar with a robin on top, one of the last things he had left to remember his brother by, some absences are impossible to get used to. 

The familiar, rich scent of coffee fills the small kitchenette as he works, drawing a small, bittersweet smile on his face. The early morning routine is a small comfort amongst the burdens and stress of running a kingdom, but these days, it feels like memories, routines, and small comforts are all Tim has left.

And maybe... maybe a little hope.

Tim eyes the letters on the counter. One is from Duke. The minor disturbance on the northern border is more complicated than they'd initially thought, but not as drastic as he'd feared as of his last writing. A week, maybe two, and Tim would have one of his brothers home. Two are from Cass and Jason. They've crossed the Western Wastes, and are headed for Salire, the fabled base of the Titans.

The last is from Damian. It's a picture he found in an inn, in Hatton Corners, he writes. It's a poster of three young men. Two are unknown to him, but the last-

The last Tim would recognize at the end of the world.

"I didn't show Cassandra and Jason. Latest rumors report Robin missing and the Titans on guard. But it's a lead.

We finally found him."

Yes. Maybe a little hope.

[valeffelees]

13) I mean, I mostly want Carry On hot takes, but I'm open to all fandoms! 26) WITHOUT SUN All of your posts on it have been so freaking good! I struggle to imagine anything giving you pause!! 36) I NEED NEED NEED to know more about Simon Snow is not a Vegetarian! The chat fic. The artists in love. I need to know where it goes! 41) We're minor character stans in this house. Okay! Enough questions. Thank you ^__^

13. Who is your least favourite character to write for?

ok, the wording of this question is tricky for me. because i don't dislike writing for any of the characters, but my least favourite is actually Penny. AND NO, LISTEN, i can hear you fucking white lady math meme reacting through the wall right now, Lia. i love writing about Penny. but i love writing about her from SIMON'S perspective. i don't know how to get into Penny's head at all, i wouldn't even know where to start.

26) Which part of [Without Sun] was the hardest to write?

i had trouble with a few diff scenes in this fanfic, ngl. i knew some of them would give me hell as i was plotting them, but one that caught me off guard with how difficult it was for me is that scene in the Magic Words classroom with Miss Possibelf and Madam Bellamy. by the time you'd read it i'd trimmed a lot of my orig draft out. in the first version of that scene, Simon was actually meant to go into Magic Words and sit in on the end of the lesson, but i didn't like how silly it made the scene feel. i had a hard time figuring out where to end that scene, too, because there is obviously a LOT for Simon to process by the end, but so much of it is able to be done comfortably off-page that i didn't know where to draw the line.

i didn't think i'd have so much trouble with the Mage's first scene either, but motherfucker kept getting all Snidley fucking Whiplash villain-esque on me while i was writing it, and you know how i feel about that, LOL. Baz's main scene in that fic was hard, too, but in a different way than the other two; it is such an extremely emotionally charged scene, and it's so important to the story, i just had a really hard time with the pacing of it and figuring out how to make it give the impact i wanted. i'm still fussing around with it.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

i can't fuCKING BELIEVE you just asked me for Simon Snow is Not a Vegetarian SPOILERS, i'm going to fucking bite you. i don't even know if there's anything about this fanfic that you don't already know, like. i kill one of Baz's pet rats and he cries-cries over it? Malcolm and Daphne are getting a divorce?? Baz Pitch has a dick, AND knows how to use it???

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written?

we both already know the answer is Niall but i am fucking delighted you asked because i will take any and every chance i can get to talk about him. i'm so weird about Dev and Niall, as you are very well aware. i've written about and drawn them so many times, i think about them almost as much as i think about Simon and Baz, which is just so fucking funny when you really think about it. they've just turned into such extremely distinct characters in my head, i've given them the full RK900 treatment. i'm attached to all the little things i've thought up about them, y'kno? like, my headcanon for the reason Niall spells his eyes blue is because he has a twin sister named Signe and, as children, the two of them were always being mistaken for one another, to the point that they started to resent each other. and even though it hasn't happened in years, Niall is still deeply insecure about looking too much like her. but, he doesn't like the idea of colouring his hair or straightening his curls, because Niall is really close to his mother and he shares those things with her, too, so instead: he spells his eyes blue. i always write him as the oldest of all the characters, too, because another headcanon: he and Signe started Watford a year late, so he's 12 turning 13 in first year instead of 11 turning 12 like everyone else. but it all works out for the best 'cause if he hadn't started the year he did, he wouldn't have been Dev's roommate, and if he wasn't Dev's roommate he wouldn't be friends with Baz, and i am going to stop right there because if i start talking about my headcanons for Niall's friendship with Baz we'll be here all fucking night. but yeah, i really, really like writing Niall and Dev.

click here to see the list of questions!

[bittersweetmorality]

— aizawa boyfriend headcannons

☾ genre: headcannons

☾ pairing: aizawa shota x gn!reader

☾ warnings: none !! all fluff ! (hints at manga spoilers, but no details or anything about it is actually said)

☾ a/n: HIHI ! i have like 9 other drafts that i’m working on and they’re all for Bungou Stray Dogs 😁 but enjoy this Aizawa brainrot i love him gn.

☾ ALSO ! NSFW headcannons for aizawa will be coming soon as a separate post !!

☾ W/C: 1,373

— SFW

okay i’m sick of all the mfs that say that aizawa is just an emotionless asshole

HE. IS. NOT.

ON MY MAMA HE IS A SWEETHEART DEEP DOWN. IN HIS OWN WAY.

he’s not really outwardly affectionate— especially not at first

mostly because his love language is acts of service and words of affirmation

no i will not take criticism because i am right

HOWEVER of course i shall elaborate 😁

he is a bitter man because of his past (if y’all read the MHA manga... you know 😐.)

but he would not insult someone he genuinely cares about

and obviously he cares about you bae

so words of affirmation is a constant with him— and honestly it just comes out naturally, he doesn’t even force it

and it’s a lot of reassurance too— reminding you that he does care about you despite the fact that he isn’t very good at expressing it

he also doesn’t explicitly say that he loves you most of the time, just ‘cause he’s afraid of the term yaknow

he kinda plays around with words that basically mean the same thing tho 😁

“i’m very proud of you”

“you’re the only one i want”

“how are you feeling?”

“do you need anything from me? are you tired?”

speaking of which

his love language of acts of service said HELLOOOO

he just wants you to be happy and comfortable

but he’s also pretty lazy 😐

so it’s kinda acts of service but in the back of his mind he hopes that the things that make you happy n comfy are easily attainable 🧍

but when i say he’s lazy and that isn’t gunna change for ANYONE .

🧍.

yeah sorry

my mans wants his naps regardless if you want attention like just nap with him

he’s very very okay with that

AND UHHH CUDDLING .

he isn’t big on like hugs or pda or holding hands when it comes to physical affection

but CUDDLING WHILE NAPPING AND SLEEPING?? YES.

he loves that so much omg

like he knows that you’re alone and he’s allowed to be vulnerable around you, and no one is around except the two of you

and your cats

but we’ll get that later

he’s always the big spoon

not because he’s embarrassed or anything he doesn’t really give a fuck about shame in this situation

he just finds it more comfy to hold you rather than the other way around

because he cuddled his pillow for so long that’s just his natural sleeping position

you can tear that headcannon from my cold dead hands and i don’t want to hear it outta any of you

anyway

he’s such a heavy sleeper that he does NOT move an INCH at night

so if you ever have to get up to pee or just generally move around a lot while you sleep he doesn’t care

it literally cannot bother him 😐 he is dead to the world

also he doesn’t dream at all he just 😐 he sleep

he likes to hear about your dreams though if you have them ^_^ you guys talk all about it in the morning and the way he looks at you when you talk ☹️🥺

like in any situation ☹️🥺 he just listening to you talk about things you enjoy— he could listen to your voice all day

he doesn’t really reply much, but you know he’s listening

ANYWAY back to the CATS !!

you have two cats

one cat favors aizawa and one favors you

it’s no surprise that the cat that likes aizawa more has the same personality as you, and the cat that has the same personality as aizawa likes you more

obviously they love you both but like, if they had to choose a lap while you’re both on the couch, you can guess what happens

he loves the cats so much

genuinely he worries for them all the time

the only time he calls you is to check on the cats when he randomly gets anxious about them

“hi. are you home right now?”

“yes hun, i’m on my lunch break,”

“are the cats okay?”

“...yes they’re with me right now?”

“are you sure.”

“.....do you want me to put them up to the phone?”

“yes.”

anyway DATES.

they’re mostly lazy dates (obviously)

he likes the casual aspect of relationships, so that extravagant shit is wasted on him, especially when it comes to dates

he likes to order in, or cook (preferably with you) and watch a movie with the cats

the cats are in fact a requirement

and yes he will cuddle you on the couch while the movie plays, and honestly sometimes he finds himself barely focusing on the movie, just looking down at you laying on his chest and simply admiring you

he's a softie deep down

a big fat softie

also kisses with aizawa???

soft. so Soft™

he's just a very delicate person at heart, so kisses are just the same

he cups your cheeks and plants kisses on your lips and nose all. the. time.

he loves kisses but usually he doesn't initiate them, so you better grow some BALLS and kiss your man

he will kiss you right back instantly

he also isn't very private about his life

but also?? kind of??

like he definitely doesn't make any effort to hide his relationship with you from the rest of the UA staff and students, but obviously he isn't parading you around and shouting from the rooftops

he finds it really stupid for someone to actively hide their significant other from people

like??? make sure to tell people they're yours?? why would you hide that you dumbass

speaking of which aizawa is super protective

he DEF isn't possessive, like "don't you dare talk to that guy or i will kill him" type like some of y'all make him out to be

i see you and i hate you .

he just wants to keep you safe, so he looks out for you constantly

he trusts you not to be possessive, but his natural instincts from past trauma (again, manga reader know) make him look out for people he cares about

and that always includes you

OVERALL

100/10 boyfriend someone kiss him for me </3

"shota?" you called from the kitchen, trying to gather all of the snacks you had organized onto the counter in your arms. there were too many bags, so many that it would definitely be impossible for you to carry them all in one go-- and that was obvious, since every attempt to gather everything was futile. you groaned as the items tumbled out of your grasp for the umpteenth time, "shota, hun can you help?"

"hm? what's wrong?" you heard a monotonous grunt from the living room.

"i can't carry everything myself, and i really don't feel like taking multiple trips," there was no response. you sighed, "pleeeaaase??"

"i'm busy. my hands are full too."

"ugh, he's sitting on the couch, what could he possibly be busy with?" you mutter to yourself through your teeth.

finally, you decide to simply create a makeshift bag out of your shirt, flipping it up inside-out. you quickly place all of your snacks, and speed to where your lazy boyfriend sat in the other room to stop anything from falling.

you aimlessly let everything tumble out of your grasp, the sounds of plastic hitting your wooden coffee table in front of the couch.

"see? you didn't need my help," you could hear the smug smile on his face even if you weren't looking.

"well, you know how much easier it would've been if y-" you begin to whine, but as you look up to face aizawa completely, you realize why he refused to get up. two little cats were curled up on his blanket-covered lap, their bellies rising and falling gently. you tentatively made your way to sit beside him, carefully plopping onto the cushion.

"so you really were busy then, huh?"

he wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to lean your head into the crook of his neck, careful not to move his lap in the process, "well, you know i wouldn't lie to you."

masterlist

[beneaththemasks]

hey I promised this a long time ago but my depressed ass didn't let me write so

Analyzing Atsushi and Akutagawa pt.2

cw: dazai hate and beast spoilers

previous part here

first of all I want to clarify that this has been sitting in my drafts for nearly a whole year so yeah it's very likely that I might forget some important details but I'll try to get to my initial point anyways.

a few month ago when I decided to reread beast for a second time (after realising I hadn't paid much attention to it the first time) I came up with all these ideas of how and why Dazai decided to pair Akutagawa and Atsushi together.

again, this analysis is going to be a very real-life-based interpretation on the characters and the whole plot probably. so don't really pay much attention if I mix stuff from the light novels with stuff from the main plot bc the point is basically analyse why their relationship was built.

parting from the final scenes of the beast novel that end with Dazai telling Atsushi and Akutagawa that he needed to make them fight each other in order to protect the world he had created for Oda inside the book, I tried to tie a few ends that were hanging lose for a while in my head.

now, you can read this however you like (be it me being just stupid or whatever) but, ever since we got to see part of how Dazai treated Akutagawa back in the Port Mafia I kept finding myself going through the same problem over and over again to try and understand why the hell was he so fucking obsessed with making him physically stronger rather than, you know, actually focusing on training him as a whole good and worthy subordinate.

why did dazai, being as smart and manipulative as he is, made such a rudimentary mistake of only teaching akutagawa how to strengthen his ability if he knew the boy was a killing machine?

I think you can understand then why the part where Dazai makes them fight each other in beast was even MORE confusing to me...

but that's not all there is to it.

Dazai not only failed (?) to train Akutagawa but he did succeed in training Atsushi??

well, as much as we love to see a character growing and as much as you'd like to attribute it to him leaving the mafia, I don't really think that was the reason. after all, as I already said, Dazai is very smart and has always been, he probably already had it all planned back in the port mafia.

and here's where my galaxy brain starts to think.

right from the start, the whole Dazai's subordinates deal felt very strange and inconsistent to me. I never understood why would he loose so much for Akutagawa and obsess so much with pointing out the fact that Atsushi was better than him when he was no longer part of the PM therefore he supposedly shouldn't mind about wether Akutagawa was good bad or whatever.

it started getting very dense to me tbh but that's not important

enter beast, a world where Dazai can literally do almost anything he wants, and what does he do? the boy goes and straight up fucks up akutagawa and atsushi for the second time makes akutagawa and atsushi hate each other and hold the weight of the world in their hands. again.

ok this was getting VERY annoying, plus their fight was so so so painful to read that it literally made me wonder what was the point in forcing them to face their trauma in such a cruel way at a moment like that.

thankfully there was a reason... but it never clarified precisely WHY FIGHT EACH OTHER.

if Dazai never taught Akutagawa how to be a better and sharper person because he didn't really know how, that was not a problem in beast. because Oda was there to do it. Oda could have taught Akutagawa what Dazai lacked as a mentor.

then, if Dazai wanted Atsushi to protect the book, he could've literally ask him without any need to involve Akutagawa.

but then, the whole point of why Dazai took Akutagawa in the first time "in the original world" and the reason behind why he also took Atsushi would've been lost.

Dazai is, indeed, a mastermind.

he knows what's necessary to make a world where people like Oda can live and write. he knows, probably better than anyone, that god doesn't care about things like balance and harmony. that he'd have to create it himself.

after all, coherency is one of the rules of the book.

Akutagawa and Atsushi fail their mission against Fukuchi (probably at Aku's life cost) in the main plot because that happened in the same world where Oda and Gide die after fighting for the same goal. a world where only those who fight and have the talent will prevail.

Dazai knows very well that, in that world, balance and harmony will never exist.

that's why Dazai creates a new world instead, where Atsushi and Akutagawa never team up and try to kill each other instead. a world where they force each other to recognize their flaws and admit their mistakes, a world where they'll have to learn how to live on with it no matter what they want to protect the world.

protect the world by proving that both sides of the same coin can fit, that none is better than the other.

so yeah, basically, the events that take place in "the original world" are proof to Dazai that god doesn't care about good or evil, that the only ones that will prevail are those who fight for their right to live (and this also probably explains why Atsushi and Akutagawa will never win as long as they fight without acknowledging what they have in front of them).

therefore, he decides to create a world where Oda won't have to fight to live because Atsushi and Akutagawa will fight but won't have to kill each other to prove their existence. they'll simply accept that both sides of the coin can exist even if they're weak, afraid or bad and that will be enough to give birth to a new world order.

there's actually more than this. in fact, there are a lot of reasons why Akutagawa and Atsushi are important for each other despite Dazai's plans and the world's destiny. however, since it'd be too confusing to try explaining it all in the same post sooo I'll be leaving that for a 3rd part.

[ginkgomoon]

Lucien's Iridescent- Analysis

Finally, some more Lucien-based content! I'm so sorry for the wait, Lucien stans! If you’re out there please let me know so I can say hello to you individually and ask questions about your fav!! I want to interact with the community more so I can expand my knowledge and perception on the different characters and aspects of the game. I’d honestly love to have a chat about MLQC anytime! I didn’t expect to be posting this today because this is one is a freshie! (Started working on it today, and posted up today, unlike the other hundred that I have drafted...) Lots of spoilers for the character of Lucien and for future content. Please do not read if you don’t want spoilers! Thank you! Hope you enjoy!! 🌈 💜

Iridescent definition-

“Showing luminous colours that seem to change when seen from different angles.”

Origins

The pen is originally brought over from England, where Lucien was studying when he was younger. It actually belonged to a Granny before Lucien, and she told him, "give this luck to the special someone when you meet her."

Lucien didn't really care for the pen that much other than that, though.

"Although I had always felt that he was not gentle with me, this time I knew he did care for me. My joy didn't last for more than ten seconds, when my owner took me back and gave me a faint glance, and then gave his full attention the girl."

Also, it's tiny bit ironic about how Lucien can't see colour and names the pen "Iridescent".

"A rainbow! It's my favourite scene- that's where my name came from. But my owner can't see the rainbow. he doesn't know how to appreciate these colours." -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

Iridescent and MC

“This is for you."

A silvery- white steel pen glinted in the sunlight with an "X" etched prominently into its surface. (The "X" refers to his Chinese name, "Xu mo")

MC: "Isn't this the pen you left in the set the first time you were on the show?"

"Yes, at the time I rushed back to the set. Everyone had left but one girl was still foolishly sitting there, just to give me this pen. For the first time I thought, compared to my own actions of running back there, she didn't seem that foolish at all."

His lips curved up in a smile, and his eyes softened.

"It wasn't foolish. I was slower than you, but afterwards, I saw."

I didn't understand what he meant. I tilted my head and looked at Lucien. His eyes were streaked with shadow and light by the sunshine.

MC: "Why are you giving me the pen?"

"The pen has a name. It's called Iridescent. It's a lucky charm that's been with me for many years. Now, this luck belongs to you."

Lucien opened my hand and placed the pen in it, then closed my hand back over it with an assertive force.

"It's just a pen. Take it."

Lucien turned his head and looked at me, the sunlight glistening on his lips, clear and warm. -Chapter 13-10

Lucien gave a lot of thought into giving MC the pen.

"He had been staring at me for so long his gaze almost penetrated me! My owner had always been very decisive and unwavering, but this time, I could feel his hesitation. What was it for?"

But why?

"At the moment I was a little dizzy, and thought, am I now a "love token"?" -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

I would argue multiple reasons actually. Firstly, as Iridescent itself stated, it was used as a "love exchange"- a silent confession that he loves her. He uses this pen for his work, and since this "work" was focused on the QUEEN and BLACK SWAN, it was almost like a declaration that what Lucien had owned- what Ares will soon gain, that no matter what, both personas would be by her side.

He knows that she's always in danger, from others and from himself, so he silently hopes that this pen in becoming that "lucky charm" would also help her so that she wouldn't really get caught and tied up in BLACK SWAN business.

It serves as a reminder for himself too, that a part of him will always be kept close to her. And like how its name is Iridescent, that aspect of him that can see colour is being surrendered back to her, because only with MC, can Lucien finally witness colours of the rainbow.

But of course, like all rainbows, they don't last forever, and MC uses this pen- in the name of colour- his weaknesses and the symbolism and connection of their relationship- against him.

MC: “Why?”

“I warned you before. You still had time to run too bad, you had no awareness of danger. Or one could say, you trusted me too much.”

He spoke in a tone that was provocative and mocking.

With ease, he ripped open a scar that hadn’t fully healed, and my tears came pouring out.

I don’t know why, but in that instant, I seemed to see a flash of sorrow in his eyes. But in less than half a second, he had resumed his composure. Then he pursed his lips and made a faint smile.

Thick blackness surrounded him. Even the brightest of setting suns couldn’t reach him.

But I still hoped that the hint of sorrow I caught was real. I hoped that he was still the way he used to pretend to be. But then why did his eyes seem so sincere?

Even now, I wasn’t willing to completely believe. My heart told me that it wasn’t lies.

Helping me save my final show was real. Rescuing me from danger was real. Every bit of encouragement and help was all real.

If all of that was real, how could the person in front of me now be fake?

I strained to find in his eyes any sign of pain, struggle, even a moment’s hesitation. But there was none.

There was nothing at all. We were like two strangers.

“Ares, what are you waiting for?”

I don’t know where my strength came from, but in an instant, I held something sharp to my neck. I tremblingly held the pen, sensing the bitter taste in my throat.

Seeing my action, everyone froze.

How ironic! He clearly gave it to me as a gift, and now it was carrying out its mission like this.

“You won’t do it.”

My neck was in terrible pain, and half my body was going numb.

I didn’t even realise that a trickle of blood was streaming down my neck. We stood there, neither of us was moving.

“Don’t do anything foolish.”

You’re right, I am too foolish. When I was at my lowest, he held out a hand of friendship to me and I took it in with full trust.

And now here he was again, saying that same voice I was so familiar with, that was all a trap.

He stood there, aloof and cold, with all those emotions swirling in his eyes that I never understood before. Now I final understand. It was the thrill of laying a trap and the joy of watching your prey take the bait.

MC: “Let me go.”

“You think you can negotiate with me?”

MC: “You still owe me a thank you gift.”

A tear rolled down my face silently. (This line killed me.)

He smiled mockingly.

“I can let you go, but next time, you won’t get such an opportunity. Don’t let me catch you next time.” (In other words he means, "pen you did well, now she can escape.")

MC: “Next time I won’t trust you, Ares. I will never trust you again. Because you aren’t Lucien. He would never harm me. They have nothing to do with each other!”

He turned but said nothing. That was the last time I saw a gentle look in his eye. Then he looked up at the sky as his whole body emerged into the shadows, and he continued onwards.

The pen fell from my hand onto the ground. The “X” etched onto it gleaming, seemingly telling me a story. -Chapter 13-19

"I saw the pain in my owners eyes and felt the trembling of the girl's right hand passing through me... grasping me as she left, she could not control her shaking body. She seemed to be holding onto me with all her strength, as if I was her only support.

I was accidentally dropped to the ground and rolling into the dust. but the girl didn't seem to notice, as she was in a trance looking up at the kites in the sky. But the girl crouched down to pick me up and gently wiped the dust off of me. Everyday at nightfall, I knew how much pain she endured and how much she cried in her sleep. I thought she would abandon me, but she did not... -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

n a way, it's also a silent promise, or a reason for him to keep returning to her. The tie that she always clutches secretly in her pocket that she, too, still cares for him and still thinks of him. MC still evens put the effort in the take care of Iridescent, making sure it doesn't get lost or broken. This is similar to how the ginkgo bracelet is a form of support from Gavin to MC.

As I put away my camera, I again reflexively felt around inside-

MC: “Oh no!”

A ball of sweat fell from my forehead. Where was that pen!?

A single possibility suddenly presented itself to me- but another thought immediately supplanted it-

MC: “It’s his anyway. The staff will give it back to him…”

Having confidently convinced myself with that reasoning, I left.

See how they're back to how they were from the beginning- where she was starting to get to know “Lucien”, but now she’s starting to view him as “Ares”. The two personas correlating to this one pen.

I banged my head on the table. I clutched my head in pain, and the metal pen rolled away, stopping before a pair of black shoes. Then I saw a slender hand daintily pick it up.

“You came back to find this?”

He looked at me with a playful look on his face. He raised his eyebrows and held the pen in front.

“Don’t lose it again.”

I reached out for it, but that sunny late spring day suddenly flashed before my eyes, and I started to regain my posture. Maybe I shouldn’t have come back for it.

MC: “Never mind, I’m always losing things. And it doesn’t belong to me anyway. At this point, it should go back to its original owner.”

He slowly and deliberately put the pen away, then gave as light nod. -Chapter 16-11

"With determination, the girl gave me back to my owner. The moment he took me, the last thread linking them together seemed to have broken. My owner withdraw his gaze from her and after a long time he said softly, "my little fool". The words sounded unfinished, with untold tenderness hidden behind them. But in my opinion, should the fool refer to my intelligent owner himself?

I couldn't help but think, did my owner lose his colours? Or will he find them again, someday? Because, those who have seen the rich colours of the rainbow, would not be reconciled with grey again." -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

But in the end, the pen was returned back to MC.

Lucien carefully took out the pen from his pocket and placed it in the girl's hand. The he leaned over and whispered into her ear-

"Next time, don't rush into danger by yourself. Especially on my account." -Chapter 16-22

Like how Lucien would always come back to her- Ares or not, because those are his true colours- that Lucien, like how he’s also “iridescent”, would show all sides of him to her, and that he would love MC no matter which side he's on.

[millllenniawrites]

Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness thoughts!!

okay so now that mom is on disney+, i am sharing my thoughts. i wrote this right after i saw the movie and it's literally just been sitting in my drafts.

obvious spoiler warning for the movie

overall, i didn't love it. i'm really disappointed and i think it could have been so so so cool and opened up so much potential for future storylines and it just..... didn't? but that doesn't mean there weren't good things about it!! anyways, here's my thoughts:

things i liked

wanda. my love. what a fantastic arc (up until the end). everyone complaining about her going evil for no reason clearly missed wandavision. she literally just wants her kids back and girl i get it. also how many times do we have to go over how the darkhold corrupts people for y'all to get it??

the first 30ish minutes. like everything up until america and stephen jump universes for the first time. it was perfect and fun and i love love loved it

the whole mirror/reflection sequence thing

the convo about spiderman without mentioning peter parker

the illuminati!!!!! so cool!!!! i love the fun casting!!!!

FUCKING CAPTAIN CARTER MY WIFE SPIT ON ME

the horror elements used when wanda is fighting the illuminati. the mouth disappearing? john krasinski getting unzipped into a bunch of rubber bands? very disturbing! very cool!

the ultron bots were neat

the costumes were beautiful

also the effects on wanda's hair

wong. literally obsessed w him. his lil whip??? we love our sorcerer supreme

they did a good job explaining the darkhold

"I love you in every universe"

stephen and wanda being contrasted without ever questioning whether or not wanda is the strongest avenger

wanda being the one to stop herself. no one else could

things i didn't like

so much of the dialogue was just........ bad? like stephen's speech to america at the end was really really not good and it should have been because those moments are so important, especially for young girls!!! like i really didn't like the script

also most of americas dialogue was bad which didn't even give her a fighting chance. like im not sure if i like her as an actor cause she just didnt have good material

also so much of americas screentime was her screaming. which like fair cause its scary shit but also maybe give her something more?

ALSO we literally got three seconds of americas moms before they got disappeared. what the actual fuck. marvel we've been over this.

tuning fork man???? what the hell????? why couldn't we get a female bucky barnes or yelena as black widow or like even loki being there randomly would have been fine. that is NOT the way to introduce a new character to the mcu

captain marvel and the scarlet witch should literally never fight. ever. i hated that. they are the two most powerful avengers

zombie stephen. what the fuck

also the cape made out of souls?????

wanda did not need to die to complete her arc. that was entirely unnecessary

also why wasn't wanda also looking for a universe where her brother is alive?? and vision???? i don't understand

why would you do a post credit scene with shang chi and wong only to not have shang chi appear anywhere??? like i kept waiting for him to show up and he just didn't

christine!!!!!! literally why does she always need to be part of stephen's arc??? we had an entire what if? episode about this. they can't be together in any universe. let it go. this is creepy borderline incel behaviour at this point. get over it stephen (though your dialogue was very romantic i will give you that)

the fucking mid credit scene. make these scenes important to the plot instead of random new character drop

so yeah overall i didn't love the movie but i think part of that is how high my expectations were. so i'm going to work really hard to not have expectations of movies i'm excited about going forward cause that really wrecked this experience. also i'm probably going to rewatch it just to see if i like it better the second time.