#but it occurs to me how stressed i’d be

[owletstarlet]

(I want to write an epilogue or short part 2 for patron saint, bring tanuma’s perspective and signature overthinking into it, *if* my Exciting Brain Chemistry and my work schedule will allow it 🙃🙃🙃

[wren-kitchens]

listening to my body. and yea i can’t even be mad i did do dumb amounts of stuff no wonder i feel like shit now

[lizardho]

I came out to my dad as bisexual at 14 and I was PANICKED because I had a crush on a guy in my Boy Scout troop and thought I was Going To Hell Forever and he was so kind and understanding of my distress, but he had NO idea what bisexuality was. He just said “yeah but you like girls too? This is normal. Everyone is like this.” And I love my dad and trust him with my life to this day and the idea that the concept of bisexuality had not occurred to him had not occurred to me so I put it off.

By 16 though I had a crush on like THREE boys. Three entire boys in my Boy Scout troop. I felt like my sin was slowly advancing, until like an untreated cancer it had become metastatic. I remember bawling my L’il limp-wristed sissy eyes out in his big rumbly truck on the way home from a scout meeting and him telling me that it was OK, that he still loved me if I was gay, but that he knew I wasn’t gay because I still had crushes on women and that meant I was straight. I didn’t quite know how to explain that those felt *~*different*~* and that I felt like I was losing a fight to evil inside me but I again felt comforted by his reassurances and his genuine fatherly love.

At 18 I was like “hey I’m realizing all my friends are going on missions. I don’t wanna do that. Idk how to say that and I don’t have a ‘good enough’ reason to not wanna go.” So I just put it off. Again, my parents were extremely supportive of the information I gave them (I blamed it on perpetually forgetting to start the paperwork.) and one day my mom texted me that she had done the paperwork for me! And that all I needed was to get a physical! So I did that (it was awkward af tbh, my hernia check was done by a trainee doctor and she spent like 3 minutes fishing around my inguinal canals before her attending rescued me) and was sent to Mexico City where I learned that in addition to dipshit himbos with strong hands and scruffy guys with artistic hearts I was REALLY into chubby Latin men with strong personalities who bullied me a little when I lived in Mexico.

I remember my first companion got annoyed with me during an argument and said we were just gonna wrestle and whoever won the wrestling match won the argument (I stg I am dead serious this happened.) I was like…SWEATING when he tore off his tie and threw his white button-down shirt onto the ground (I won btw, don’t ask me how).

I remember one of my companions with this really intense, almost manic energy telling me that he was gonna make sure I was safe in a new area I didn’t know very well. He cooked breakfast for me and we’d go shopping together on P-Days and in the mornings before breakfast he’d jog around and do pull-ups with his shirt off and I’d do anything but look at him because my face would break out in a sweat so intense he’d think I was crying and come over to see if I was OK and somehow make it worse. He let me play D&D with myself in the evenings even though it was against mission rules because he knew how lonely and stressed I was.

I remember one of my companions was a big chubby man with a loud voice and a great sense of humor. He was kind and direct when addressing conflicts with me, and always bragged about how he knew the secrets of women’s minds and it felt like he really did since it almost always boiled down to “Treat Them Like People and Love Them a Lot. Don’t Stop Being A Person For Them. Also Eat Them Out Sloppy Style.” Our P-Day activities sometimes felt like dates, and it seemed like he was more attentive to my emotional state than I was since he was always the first to suggest we slow down our Divinely Mandated, God-Ordained, Super Sacred Work and Wonder to get a snack or check out a Pawn Shop (I love Pawn Shops).

I remember another companion who asked me to bully him every time he did something against his goal of losing weight. It was like he gave me Carte Blanche to take out my crush on him by being a nuisance and I LOVED that. I remember having a breakdown one day after we’d spent the afternoon frantically cleaning our disgusting-barely-habitable mission house to make it look less vile that it was (not our fault imo?) and I started bawling and he pulled me into a hug and he smelled good and he told me he knew it wasn’t just the house and that I was mad at him for being a Huge Dickhead for about a week (true) and that he would work on it. (He’s also a huge chaser but that’s a separate thing.)

I remember one of my companions waking up early (and our schedule is already built for sleep deprivation) to make me a “birthday cake” from knock-off Nutella and bread. He used matches for candles and woke me up, lit the ‘candles,’ pulled them out, then smashed it in my face and took a bunch of pictures while I was still madrugada and disoriented as fuck. He had the same sense of humor as one of my HS crushes and I could push his buttons pretty easily which was so fun.

I came home from my mission and started back at BYU where I became actively and aggressively suicidal. I had a stalker the year I moved up there and my dad’s solution to that was to get me a gun. I know he wouldn’t have bought me a gun if he could have read my mind, but I had a loaded pistol under my bed during a trifecta faith/sexuality/gender crisis and that was not helpful. I remember that the day I decided to kill myself I figured I’d call the BYU CAPS and see if I could get into therapy because it felt like what I was “supposed to do” so I could check my suicide boxes. My therapist was the guy who’d helped me pick a major the year before and was this drop-dead gorgeous Hawaiian man who cried when I told him how I’d been feeling.

A few weeks into therapy I met another stunning man with soft eyes and a scruffy illegal-at-BYU beard he kept pushing his luck with. He was funny, kind, patient, married, and wouldn’t give me the time of day if he knew I was crushing on him. We were in my history of psych class, which was inarguably the worst psych class I have ever had, and we studied together for every assignment and test and I realized that my feelings for him and for all the men I’d already mentioned were in direct conflict with my faith and relationship with God. My already agonizing spiritual conflict became even more wretched and as a result of this plus some other tightly-packed experiences with Mormonisms bullshit, I left the church.

After leaving the church I decided to move back to AZ and transfer to ASU. My mom helped me get a dog since I think it had started to dawn on my family that my mental health was barely getting me through the day, and she knew that we both loved dogs. Madi made my last year at BYU livable while I got my shit together and transferred. In that last year, I went on a date with quite possibly the only semi-openly-out trans person on BYU campus. It was not a great date imo, I was not doing well, but the person I spoke with was fun and fascinating and talked to me about Gender Dysphoria and it really cemented my need to go. To leave and never come back to that fucking school.

I started at ASU a month after my last semester at BYU and within a very short time frame it felt like I was coming back together, like a puzzle magically putting itself together in an environment that wasn’t slowly draining that puzzle’s will to live.

On the 4th of July, the year I started at ASU, I saw a transition timeline photo of a gorgeous happy beautiful happy radiant happy woman and her former Mormon missionary self and I realized the light that was on in her eyes was the light that was off in mine. I looked into transitioning for 3 days, sleeping about 10 hours total during that time. I started talking to other trans people on Reddit (one of whom is now my beautiful fiancée @cintailed) and after about a month of making preparations to be disowned and kicked out, something I was not sure would happen but was ready to go through to Turn On The Lights, I came out to my family and it was amazing. I started HRT a month after that. I secretly dated some dorky guys for about a year while I applied to grad schools. I got into a great grad school for me and my needs. I got FFS. I did my trainings and classes. Me and my fiancée moved in together after some LDR shenanigans. We’ve lived together now for 4 years of basically marital bliss. We have a cat named Grandmother Esmeralda Weatherwax who bites the hell out of my feet about three times a day. My bi-cycle continues to be part of my life but now it’s not as scary. Baby gays in my life have started to look to me for advice. Idk how this all happened so fast. When the years, months, weeks, days, and hours seems to crawl by so slowly now they are rushing past me so fast it’s almost bewildering. Whereas before I felt like I was living on borrowed time, past my ‘expiration date,’ now it feels like I can Fucking Breathe. I’m training myself to slow down now and it feels worth it to Live In The Moment.

Idk why I wrote this. Idk why these thoughts only seem to come up on Sundays when I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation. Idk why I’m crying rn or why I feel so happy. I’m gonna post this shit then get on with my dissertation I guess. Read more Terry Pratchett and give yourselves the time you need. Get a pet. Talk to someone. Re-examine the events that brought you here. Be gayer. Love y’all 💕

[samanthacastano02]

He Calls you Clingy - Hwang Hyunjin

Hyunjin x FemReader

Trigger Warnings: Pregnancy, mentions of drunken nights, inaccurate medical terminology, hospitalization, mentions of traumatic birth, mention of placental abruption, cussing, blood,

Word Count: 7k

Summary: You and Hyunjin had started off as best friends but after a drunken night where drunk confessions led to more, an accidental pregnancy occured. You and Hyunjin were both scared of what the future held but as time went on Hyunjin became more and more distant. After a while you couldn't stand it anymore and ask him about it. It leads to a big fight, which leads to months of not talking, after he almost loses you and the baby, you work together to repair what was broken. Will the relationship be saved?

Bang Chan | Lee Know | Seo Changbin | Han Jisung | Lee Felix | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin

Photo's do not belong to me, credit goes to photographers

I had been best friends with Hyunjin for years and as much as I hated to admit it, over those years I had fallen in love with him. I had always thought that there was no way that he could ever feel the same way about me, because I mean he’s him and I’m well me. But to my surprise after a drunken night together after one of his award shows feelings came out and things got heated. We decided that we would try and see where a relationship between us might go but keep it on the down low, only his members and his management knew. It wasn’t entirely what I wanted but I knew that it was what was best at the moment, we didn’t know where things would go or what the future held for us. 

Present:

It had been about two months since the night that Hyunjin and I had drunkenly confessed and slept together. It had been the best two months of my life, no longer having to hide how I felt from him, getting to be on the receiving end of his affection felt better than I had ever expected. The only issue is that the entire time I’ve been feeling sick, I didn’t want to think anything of it but when my period hadn’t shown up for two months I knew that the likelihood of what that meant was something that none of us were prepared for. I knew what the likely answer was but with confirmation from the pregnancy test and from the doctor, I knew that I needed to tell Hyunjin sooner rather than later. I needed to tell him soon so that if he decided that this was something that he wasn’t ready for then I would have enough time to mentally prepare myself to have the baby by myself. I knew that he was coming over tonight so I would be able to tell him tonight, not have to text him in the middle of his work day and stress him out. 

That night:

I was so zoned out reading a book that I didn’t hear Hyunjin come in, he had tried to get my attention but when he touched my shoulder I jumped so high that he couldn’t contain his laughter. 

“Jinnie, Jesus baby.”

“I’m sorry Jagi. I tried to get your attention but you were so engrossed in your book that you didn’t hear me.” “Sorry baby, it’s a really good book.” “How has your day been?” “It’s been quite eventful.” “Why do you say that?” he questions as he sits down beside me.

“Um, well I guess there really is no easy way to tell you this.” “What is it baby, you’re starting to worry me.” “I’m pregnant.” “What?” “I’m pregnant, Jinnie.”

“Really?!”

“Yes. I wanted to tell you sooner rather than later, so that we could talk about what we wanted to do. But I want you to know that whether or not you decide to stay, I’m keeping the baby and I’m going to raise him or her.” “You think I’d leave you to do this on your own?” he looks at me, highly offended.

“I don’t know Jinnie, you are doing amazing in your career right now and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.”

“Jagi, I’d never leave you to raise a baby on your own. It might be hard but I will do whatever I need to, to be by your side through this. Because I want this baby with you.” “You want the baby?”

“Of course I do. I know we haven’t been in a relationship for very long but y/n I have loved you for years, I have always wanted children with you. Up until two months ago I never thought that I’d ever get to have you as my girlfriend and now knowing that you are carrying my child, it’s the best news that I could ever get.” “You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that Jinnie. I was really nervous to tell you but I knew that you deserved to know.” “I’m glad that you told me.” He pulled me into him, holding me close to him while resting his hand on my nonexistent baby bump.

“I was really scared that I was going to have to do this on my own.”

“Never Jagi, never.”

That night as we lay in bed, not even talking, just cuddling together, we enjoyed each other's presence and the presence of the new life that we are bringing into the world together. We don’t know what the future truly holds for us but we know that as long as we are together we can get through whatever might come our way. 

Two Months Later:

It’s been four months since that fateful night, things have been amazing between us and I couldn’t have asked for a better partner to have this baby with. We still haven’t told any of his members due to the fact that we are honestly both scared of how they might react. We might send Chan into an early grave with the fact that Hyunjin is having a kid at this point in their career. But we both know that as I continue to get bigger, as the baby continues to grow we need to tell him, before he finds out on his own from seeing the baby bump. He spends more nights at my apartment than he does at the dorms, thankfully Changbin just chalks it up to the fact that it’s a new relationship and we want to spend as much time together as we can. When Hyunjin gets home that night I know that I need to talk to him about telling Chan.

“Hey Jinnie, can we talk once you get settled in?” “Sure Jagi, is everything ok? Is there something wrong with the baby?”” “Yes, yes everything is fine and no there’s nothing wrong with the baby.” “Oh good. Let me change and then we can talk.” It doesn't take him long to change and before I know it he’s back in the living room, sitting across from me.

“What did you want to talk about Jagi?”

“I’m already four months pregnant, and it’s getting harder to hide the bump. I think that we should tell Chan and maybe the other boys?” “I think that you’re right. I know he won’t be too happy but at the end of the day he is my leader and he does need to know. Do you want to tell just Chan first or would you like to tell all of the boys at the same time?” “I think that it would be easier to tell them all at the same time, don’t you think?” “I think that would be smart, I could invite them over for dinner tomorrow night. Do we want to cook or order take out?”

“I think with how stressful tomorrow is going to be, I think that it would be best to order take out.” “I can order it when I’m leaving work tomorrow and pick it up on my way over.” “Thank you baby.”

“Of course Jagi, I want to make this as easy as possible for you.”

While I finished preparing our dinner Hyunjin went and texted the boys to let them know that he needed them to come over for dinner tomorrow. I soon got a text from Chan asking if everything was alright, he was worried because of what Hyunjin had said in his text. Hyunjin was so in his head that he had made the text sound ominous and like there was something wrong. I just shook my head at the poor man and texted Chan back letting him know that everything was fine, just that there was something we wanted to tell everyone and it was easier to tell them all at once.

The Next Night:

Hyunjin was on his way home, the boys said they would be over just a little later so that we had time to get everything prepared. They didn’t want to all show up at the same time and overwhelm us. I was thankful that they were giving us time so that I could mentally prepare myself a little bit more for any outcome that might happen. We got so caught up in each other that we didn’t hear the knocks on the door until whoever was here was basically pounding on the door. While Hyunjin set the food and plates out, I went to let the boys in. 

“Sorry boys, didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” I expected there to only be a few of the boys but to my surprise everyone was here.

“No worries, Noona.” Innie responds as he and the rest of the boys make their way into my apartment.

“What’s the occasion? Why are we all here? Not that I mind free food.” Changbin questions, giving me a quick hug as he passes by.

“Jinnie and I have something we wanted to tell everyone, but we didn’t want to do it over the phone. So we figured what better way to do it than at a family dinner, plus me.” “Who are you kidding y/nnie, you’re part of our family.” Chan seems surprised by my comment of not being part of the skz family but doesn’t add anything more. 

“Jinnie is in the dining room, the food should be all ready. I’m sure you boys are hungry after your busy schedules today.” “We are always hungry, especially Changbin.” Seungmin makes a jab at Changbin, trying to escape Changbins manhandling by hiding behind Chan but Chan moves out of the way at the last second. 

“Go eat, you goof balls.”

After making sure that everyone had gotten an adequate amount of food and was thoroughly stuffed, Jinnie and I looked at each other, having a silent conversation knowing that now was better than ever to tell the boys about my pregnancy. 

“Boys, before you go into your respective food coma’s there’s something that we want to tell you.” I add in a joke, trying to lighten the mood and ease my nerves.

“Is everything ok?” Channie asks, looking at Hyunjin and I with curious eyes.

“Yes, everything is ok but it’s a pretty serious matter.” Hyunjin answered for me, knowing that my anxiety surrounding telling them was already pretty high.

“Alright, we are all ears.” Minho responds, adding into the conversation finally. Hyunjin turns to me, looking for my permission to still tell them, I gently nod to him that it’s ok.

“Y/n is pregnant. And the baby is mine.” “Wait what!? You guys are having a baby?” Felix questions, making sure he heard Hyunjin correctly. 

“Yes, we are. Y/n is currently four months pregnant.”

“That would mean that she got pregnant before you guys got together officially.” Minho adds to the conversation.

“I know and I know what you might be thinking, but the baby is mine. I won’t go into the details but I promise we know that the baby is mine.” “As long as you are sure. No offense y/n, we love you but you also know how many pregnancy allegations he gets every year.” Minho responds.

“I do know Minho, and I appreciate the fact that you are looking out for him but I can 100 percent guarantee that this baby is Hyunjins. He’s the only person I have been with in over three years.” “Hyunjin, y/n can I talk to you two in private please.” Chan asks, standing up from his chair. He looks upset and that worries me.

“Of course Channie. We can talk in my bedroom, that’s the only private place in this apartment.”

Hyunjin and I walk to my bedroom with Chan following us. I know that he isn’t happy about the circumstances but I hope that he will still support us and understand that we want this baby. Out of all the member’s reactions, his was the one that I was the most worried about, I knew that as the leader he would have the most worries about what this could mean for the group. I don’t think that either of us were prepared for how upset he would be while still being so supportive.

“What on earth were the two of you thinking?” Chan angrily asks as soon as he knows that we are alone.

“We didn’t mean for it to happen Chan, it was an accident.” Hyunjin replies, subtly stepping forward and in front of me, putting himself between me and Chan’s anger.

“Why did you wait four months to tell me about this, you should have told me as soon as you found out. This is the kind of thing that I need to know as your leader Hyunjin.” “Chan, it wasn’t his fault. I was the one who told him to wait to tell anyone, he was just following what I asked.”

“I get that you might have been scared but do you understand what kind of position that you put me in?”

“We truly didn’t mean to Chan, if you need someone to put the blame on, put it on me. I was the one who told him to wait, the blame should be on me.”

“What! No y/n, if the blame isn’t on me then it would be on the both of us. I chose to listen and not say anything, that’s on me.”

“We’ll need to talk to management and the CEO.” “We know, but we wanted to tell you first.” “I appreciate that but you put me in a hard spot. I’ll support you no matter what but you cannot let this affect your career or the group.” “I understand.”

Both Hyunjin and I felt bad about putting Chan in a hard place, we didn’t mean to and we didn’t think about how this might affect him. We were both thankful that the boys were so supportive of the whole situation, letting us know that if we needed anything to just let them know. They wanted to make this pregnancy as easy as possible. 

Two Months Later: 

The first month after we had told the boys things between Hyunjin and I were great, he was so supportive and so sweet about everything. Bringing me anything that I could want or need, even if I didn’t ask for it. But around a month ago things had slowly started to change, he slowly started becoming more distant and cold towards me. Without his usual support it made things harder to manage, I knew that he was stressed from work. The company hadn’t taken the news of my pregnancy the greatest but at the end of the day they said that as long as it didn’t affect his work and the group they would be supportive. Every time that I try to talk to him about what’s been going on he always says that nothings wrong and to not worry about it. I wanted to try and talk to him again, but any time he gets home goes to his art studio that I set up for him so he’d have a place to relax here. I knew I needed to talk to him soon, especially with the baby coming in a few months.

I wanted to talk to him tonight at dinner but when he came home he completely ignored me and went straight to his art studio. It hurt that he didn’t even acknowledge me, I knew he was stressed but that still wasn’t an excuse for ignoring me. I was slightly nervous to talk to him but I knew that it needed to be done. 

“Hey Jinnie, I know it’s your studio time but can we please talk.” I try to get his attention but he continues to ignore me.

“Jinnie, please.” I try again.

“Can you leave me alone? I came in here for a reason.” “We really need to talk though.”

“God damn it y/n, leave me alone. What part of leave me alone can you not fucking understand.” “Hyunjin, what is going on with you? Why are you being like this?” “Did it ever cross your mind that maybe I don’t want to see you, that you fucking annoy the shit out of me. You always want something from me, whether it be physical or just my fucking attention.”

“You don’t mean that.” I say, hoping that what he said isn’t true.

“I do, I really fucking do. You are so fucking clingy y/n, the only reason that I still come over is because I know that if I didn’t you’d throw a fucking hissy fit and I can’t deal with that. But my god y/n, I knew you were clingy when we were friends but fuck you are so much worse. I wish we never slept together and I wish that we weren’t having this fucking baby.”

“Hyunjin, you’re just stressed.”

“No, I’m really not. I wish we never slept together and I wish that we were never having a baby. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t have this baby, especially not with you.” 

“Hyunjin.”

“Stop being so fucking clingy and leave me the fuck alone y/n. Fucking leave me alone.” “Hyunjin, you're scaring me. I know I can be clingy sometimes but I can change. I swear I can change.”

“Just fuck off y/n, I don’t want you and I sure as hell don’t want that fucking baby. It has done nothing but caused me issues.”

I don’t recognize the man in front of me, he isn’t the man that I love and the man that I am supposed to be having a baby with. I don’t even know what to say to him, how do I respond to the fact that he doesn’t want to have a kid with me anymore. What changed, why does he no longer want this? I don’t know what to do so I text Chan, seeing if he can talk to Hyunjin, maybe change his mind. He thankfully would be able to come over now and help me out.

“Chan is coming over.” “Leave me alone y/n. Why are you even still here?”

“This is my apartment Hyunjin, I’m not going to leave.”

“God dammit y/n, I don’t know why I fucking slept with you.” He angrily shoves past me, walking out of the apartment. 

I just sit on the couch, not even knowing what to do or say. I love him and it’s obvious that he doesn’t love me anymore. If he did, he would never say these things to me. When Chan gets here, he just walks in and when he sees me sitting on the couch crying, he knows that things went wrong. He does his best to support me but I couldn’t focus on anything.

“Y/n, I need you to calm down. Focus on your breathing, for the baby please.”

“He doesn’t love me anymore, he doesn’t want this baby Chan.” “I don’t know why, but I know that what he said isn’t true y/n. He loves you and he wants this baby with you.” “He doesn’t, not anymore.” 

“I promise y/n, I know that he loves you and this baby.”

Chan tries to get me to calm down the best that he can and once I’m calm enough that he could confidently leave me alone. After he left, I cried myself to sleep, knowing that I would have to raise this baby by myself. When I thought that I would have the support of Hyunjin, I no longer have that and I don’t know if I will have the support of the boys. I am so tired that the moment my head hits my pillow, I am out like a light. I don’t know what will happen between Hyunjin and I, he was everything to me and apparently I was nothing to him. 

Two Months Later:

These last two months of my pregnancy without Hyunjin by my side have been the hardest two months of my life. Chan has been doing his best to be there for me but he’s caught between a rock and a hard place. He wants to be there for both Hyunjin and I and he doesn’t know what to do. I don’t want to put him in this position, he shouldn’t have to be in this position but it’s hard. Even with his support I feel like I am completely alone in this, they were his friends before mine and I know that at the end of the day they will choose him if it comes down to it. 

I’m trying to get through some of my daily chores but the baby is really active and it’s honestly pretty painful. I decided that I wanted to keep it a surprise until the birth, I had wanted to find out the gender with Hyunjin but I know he doesn’t want anything to do with this pregnancy. The day that he walked out was the last day that I heard from him, Chan tried to keep me updated but after a while I asked that he not update me on him anymore.

As I was doing the last of my chores I felt an immense pain in my stomach, the kind that wasn’t the baby kicking. It knocked the wind out of me and I could hardly breathe, I knew that this kind of pain wasn’t normal. When I looked down at my bump, I noticed that the floor beneath me had drips of blood and it was slowly getting to be more and more. I was slowly panicking more and more because I knew that this amount of blood was not normal. I knew that I should have called the hospital but I was panicking and wanted comfort. I wanted to call Hyunjin, but I knew that I couldn’t, instead I called Chan. He thankfully picks up on the third ring.

“Channie, somethings wrong. Chan I’m scared.”

“Um, Chan’s in the recording booth.” I knew that voice, it’s a voice I haven’t heard in two months.

“Fuck, get him please. There’s too much blood, something is wrong.”

“Wait blood? What do you mean by blood?” “Get Channie please, I can’t do this on my own. Something’s wrong with my baby.” I say in full panic, not even really listening to him. 

“Fuck, ok.”

Hyunjin’s POV:

I didn’t mean to, I knew that I shouldn’t have but when I saw that Chan’s phone was ringing with y/n’s name I didn’t think before picking up. The moment that she said that there was blood, I panicked and I knew I had no right to be worried. I lost that right when I snapped at her two months ago, when I said that I didn’t want this baby but that wasn’t true. I was stressed and overworking myself and I know that’s no excuse but every day since it’s happened I have regretted it. But I knew that I couldn’t take those words back, no matter how badly I wished that I could. One minute she was panicking, talking about how she needed Chan and that something was wrong with the baby and the next moment she was silent. 

“Han, Changbin, save whatever recordings you have. Y/n needs Chan.”

“Is she ok?” Han asks, worried about his friend.

“No, she was bleeding and panicking and now the line is silent.”

“Shit, ok. You get Chan and get to the hospital, I will call an ambulance to her apartment.” Changbin says as he saves their work, Chan looks confused as the recording cuts off.

“Why’d the recording stop?” “Something is wrong with y/n.” I say, panicked as he comes out.

“Shit, what’s wrong? Is it the baby?” He asks as he throws on his coat and heads to the door.

“I think it’s both. Chan I know I fucked up but please let me come with, I’ll stay out of the way and she doesn’t have to know that I am there.”

“I can’t talk about this right now Hyunjin so if you are coming, hurry your ass up and let's go.”

I don’t argue, I shut up and follow him. I know that I fucked up, big time but I want to try and repair my relationship with her. Even if we just become friends again, I should have never treated her this way, I should have never abandoned her when she needed me most, when she needed my support with the baby. Why was I so stupid and let the panic control me? I love her and she believes that I don’t, that I don’t love her or our baby. It’s so far from the truth, I love her and this baby so much but I was a fucking coward who took the easy way out instead of talking to her about my fears and in turn I missed everything. 

At the Hospital:

Chan doesn’t even check to make sure that I’m following him, he was serious about the fact that he cannot deal with this right now. His main concern right now is y/n and not making sure that my dumb ass is following him. I rush after him, letting him do all of the talking with the nurses and doctors, knowing that he is the one that needs to do this even though I want to. I have to trust that everything will be ok, that the baby and y/n are ok. 

“Are you friends or family of y/n?” the doctor asks.

“We are family.” Chan responds.

“Alright, let's go sit down. This won’t be easy to hear.” “Is she ok?” I ask, panicked.

“Hyunjin, sit down and shut up.” Chan snaps, I know that he is worried about his friend and he didn’t mean to snap.

“She is stable but she isn’t out of the woods yet.”

“What happened? She was saying that there was blood, that’s not normal is it?” Chan asks, trying to figure out what happened.

“Spotting throughout pregnancy is normal, however the amount of bleeding that she experienced is not. Whoever called the ambulance called at the right time, if they had brought her in any later I don’t know if mother and child would have both been saved.” The doctor answers.

“The baby is ok?” I ask, not caring that Chan told me to be quiet.

“You are?” The doctor questions, not sure if it’s ok to tell me the answer.

“He’s the idiotic father.”

“Yes, the baby is ok. We got her out in time, she’s up in the nursery.”

“It’s a baby girl? I have a daughter?”

“A healthy baby girl, yes. She came early but she was healthy.” “What happened with y/n, why was she bleeding?” Chan asks, worried about y/n.

“Right, when she was brought in she had severe vaginal bleeding. Upon further inspection we discovered that she had placental abruption.” The doctor explains.

“Placental abruption? What is that?” I ask, knowing that it’s not something good.

“It’s where the placenta prematurely separates from the uterine wall. It causes a lack of oxygen and nutrients to the baby, in y/n’s case she had severe bleeding.” 

“Is there a specific reason that this happened?” Chan asks.

“It can happen for multiple reasons, but in y/n’s case the reason is unknown. She is still asleep in recovery. She will have to be in the ICU for a few days to make sure that there isn’t any more bleeding, after that she will stay for another week for observation before going home. When she is home she will need help, she won’t be able to lift the baby until the stitches come out. Someone will need to stay with her and the baby 24/7 until then.”

“Thank you doctor, can we go see her?” Chan asks.

“Yes, and if you would like to see the baby just let the nurses know.”

“Um, doctor. What do we tell the nurses to see the baby?” I ask, for some reason nervous about the answer.

“Just tell them that you would like to see the l/n baby.”

“Thank you.”

I silently follow Chan up to her room, I don’t even know what to say. Y/n had major bleeding and she doesn’t even know that she, we have a daughter. I just hope and pray that after some much needed groveling she will let me be in my daughter's life, even if I don’t deserve it. Fuck how could I have been so stupid, how could I have left her when I still loved her. I never stopped loving her and I never will, and if someday she takes me back I will forever be thankful and if she doesn’t I will be thankful for the time that I did get to spend with her.

Your POV:

I don’t know what happened, one minute I was awake and talking to him. And the next I was waking up in a hospital room, my immediate thought was my baby, when I went to feel them I noticed that my belly was squishy. My baby was gone, I had lost the baby. I began panicking, tears forming in my eyes as I thought about the fact that I had lost the last piece of Hyunjin  that I had. I may be upset with him, but I still loved him and I didn’t want to lose the baby. In my panic I didn’t notice that Chan had been in my hospital room, when he noticed that I was panicking he rushed over to me. 

“Shh, calm down. It’s ok.” “I lost the baby, I lost the last piece of him that I had.” “Y/nnie, the baby is ok. Your baby is alive and well.”

“Channie, please don’t lie to me.” “I’m not, I promise.” His words do little to soothe me.

“Channie, please.”

“I’ll have the nurse bring them in. They’ll want to meet their mama.” “You aren’t lying? They’re really ok?”

“They are perfectly ok, they came early but were still ok.”

Chan let the nurse know that we wanted to see my baby, she said that she would bring her down to us. Hearing her say that I had a baby girl brought another round of tears to my eyes, I always imagined that I would be a girl mom and now knowing that I have a baby girl, I couldn’t be happier. But in the back of my mind, I wish that Hyunjin was here, god I wish that I could forget about him but I love him and have loved him for years, I carried his child for nine months almost so how could I not wish he was here?

“Channie, has anyone let Hyunjin know that the baby came?”

“Please don’t be mad.”

“What? Why would I be mad?”

“He came with me to the hospital, he was there when the doctor told us that it was a baby girl. He’s actually been here the entire time, hasn’t left since you were admitted three days ago.”

“What? Why, why would he stay?” “Y/n, I don’t know what he was thinking or why he did what he did but I can promise you that he regrets it. That man is so in love with you, he about lost it when he thought that you had died.” “Why, why would he say these things to me then?”

“Only he can answer that. What I do know is that he has requested an extended hiatus so that he can be there for you and the baby should you need or want him there.” “He did what?!”

“He did it the same night you were brought in.”

“Where is he?”

“He’s up in the nursery with the baby.”

“Can you have him come in here?”

“If that is what you want, yes.” “I need to talk to him.” He doesn’t question why, and thankfully I don’t have to explain why I want to talk to him. When the nurse comes down with the baby, while I hold her and meet her Chan is going to let me talk to him. 

“Chan said that you wanted to talk to me.” Hyunjin said, peeking his head into the room.

“Yes, I do.” I say not looking at him. 

“Is everything ok?”

“Why are you taking an extended hiatus?”

“Look, I know I fucked up, I’ll admit that. I was stressed and overworked but that isn’t an excuse and I know that. I want to do my best to try and make it up to you, I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but selfishly I am asking if I can work to gain it.” “I don’t know Hyunjin, you really hurt me. How can I expect you to be there for me when you weren’t when I really needed you?’

“There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t regretted what I said to you, I was an idiot and if I could turn back time and go back to that day and change what I did, I would. But I can’t, so I am here begging for another chance to earn your trust and prove to you that I can be both reliable for you and our daughter. Even if I have you as just my friend, that is better than not having you in my life at all.” “You have no romantic expectations?”

“None at all. I just want to have you in my life again, I miss our conversations, our late night laughs and our movie nights.” “Prove to me that I can rely on you and maybe I will forgive you Hyunjin. Help me with her for the next two months and we will go from there.”

“Anything y/n, anything you need.”

Six Months Later:

I had told Hyunjin that he had two months to prove to me that he was serious and during those two months, he went above and beyond to show me he was serious. He stayed at my apartment with me, staying in the nursery most nights with Dae. I expected that some nights he would have me help with night feedings but to my surprise he fully took over the night feedings and only woke me up when I needed to pump. I never thought that he would be here to help me, but having him here during the early stages of having her home was extremely helpful. As I watched him with her, I couldn’t help but remember why and how much I loved him. Even after everything I still loved him, even though I shouldn’t. He never tried to be anything other than her father and a friend to me. But god, I miss him and want nothing more than to have him back. I was so in my head that I didn’t notice he was trying to talk to me until he waved his hand in front of me.

“What’s goin on in that head of yours?”

“Huh?”

“You zoned out on me, are you feeling ok?” “I’m ok. I really appreciate you being here to help me. But don’t you want to go back to work?”

“Not until you are ready to handle Dae on your own.”

“Don’t you want your old life back, the one where you had no worries?” “No, no I don’t. I’m happy with the life that I have now. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” “Why? Before you had no responsibility and now you have so much?” “Y/n, when I said that I didn’t want her, it wasn’t true. At no point was it ever true that I never wanted our daughter. And God I hate myself for what I said and did to you, you never ever deserved that and I will forever work to prove to you how sorry I am.”

“God, it’s so hard Hyunjin.” “What is? Are you ok?” “No, I’m not. It’s hard wanting to be with you romantically after watching you with Dae, but remembering all the things that you said.” my eyes begin to tear up. 

“Y/n, you have no idea how sorry I am for everything. I wish I could turn back time, but I can’t. I want you to know that I never stopped loving you.” He reaches for me but at the last second hesitates. 

“Why, why would you say those things if you didn’t mean them?”

“I don’t know. I truly don’t know, I wish that I did know why I said those things but I don’t. But I want you to know that until my soul no longer roams this earth I will always love you and I will always love our daughter.” “Hyunjin, you can’t just say stuff like that.”

“It’s the truth y/n. I will always love you, even after we are no longer breathing.” “How can I trust that you won’t break me again.”

“You can’t, not fully but I will never treat you that way again ever. The look of heartbreak and devastation on your face broke me and if I could have I would slap my past self so hard that some sense was knocked into me.”

“I’m scared Hyunjin.”

“I know, I’m scared too. But I will never treat you that way again.” “God please do not make me regret this, you get one chance. Prove to me that you are sorry and mean what you say.”

“I will do anything.” “Me telling you what you have to do, defeats the purpose.”

Over the next few weeks and then the next few months, Hyunjin works to prove to me that he is sorry and every day I feel how much he truly meant it when he said that he was sorry. We started off slow, and slowly worked our way back into possibly being more than friends. I never gave him the false hope that there would be a relationship at the end of the day but over time he showed me that he would be happy with whatever he got, whether that be friends or a relationship.

Three months after our talk he and I had sat down together, watching a movie before both of us headed to bed. Neither of us wanted to talk but wanted to just be in each other's presence, through the baby monitor we heard Dae cry out. I went to get up but he beat me to it, telling me to sit and relax. He’d take care of her, every day I could see the love that he had for her and every day it made my heart swell with love. He loved her so much and she had him wrapped around her tiny finger. I know he told me to sit back and relax but I couldn’t help myself. I followed him down the hallway and watched as he fed and burped her, rocking her and singing until she fell back asleep. When he saw me in the doorway he sent a small smile, it was easy to smile back. 

“I thought I said to stay back in the living room?”

“I know but I couldn’t help myself, you’re so good with her.” I watch as he walks towards me, out into the hallway and shutting her door. 

“You should relax, you deserve it.”

“For what? You’ve done everything for her today?”

“You carried her for nine months y/n, I’m more than happy to help.” he walks up to me, expecting me to move back into the living room.

“You are great with her, I hope you realize that.”

“You are great with her as well y/n.”

“She adores you Hyunjin, when she is unconsolable you are the only one able to calm her down.” “She adores you y/n, trust me.” He pulls me into a hug, not giving me the chance to argue with him.

I don’t argue with him, knowing that it’s pointless. As he hugs me, I realize that I’ve missed this so much and being back in his arms felt amazing. Before I can even think about it, I slightly pull back from him, he gives me a questioning look but before I can even think of an answer I lightly press my lips to his. He stands there stunned for a moment before his brain kicks back into gear and kisses me back, the kiss isn’t long but it’s full of unsaid emotions and months worth of longing. When we pull back, he rests his forehead on mine. 

“What was that for?”

“I wasn’t thinking. But I don’t regret it.” “I don’t either. Y/n, I miss you so much, more than I can even express with words.”

“I’m terrified, but I want to try again. I want to be with you.” “Y/n, I want that, more than anything but are you sure?” “Yes, I want to try a relationship again.” He doesn't give me an answer, instead he presses his lips to mine again. Kissing him felt like a breath of fresh air, like something I didn’t know I was missing until I had it again. 

“Jinnie, I want you to sleep in my room tonight. No funny business, I just miss being in your arms.” “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Alright, go get changed, I’ll turn the tv off and lock up.” He presses a kiss to my forehead.

That night, I fell asleep in his arms and it felt like I was finally home. I knew that the path we had ahead of us wouldn’t be easy but if we had each other and our daughter I knew that everything would work out the way that it was supposed to. Hyunjin knew that he still had a lot to make up for, but every day he continued to show me how sorry he was and every day I got to see him grow as an amazing person and an even more amazing father. I loved him more than anything, well not more than our daughter but he meant so much to me and I was happy to finally have him back in my life.

Bang Chan | Lee Know | Seo Changbin | Han Jisung | Lee Felix | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin

@vietjeb @riri53 @expired-vibes

[yanderecrazysie]

Twisted Zoo Ending One: Queen of the Jungle

This is based on the stories of a keeper reader with the octotrio by @ashensgrotto and @merakiui .

I am no longer doing tags. Tumblr hates me and I’d rather not waste my time when there are so many! You can keep up to date on Twisted Zoo on Tumblr, Quotev, Wattpad, or AO3.

WARNINGS: yandere themes

Note: For Tumblr, the mature version of the endings (the afterendings) will begin sometime after I finish all the normal endings.

Note 2: Sorry this is short, I wasn't sure how to write this one lol.

In each hand you carried a bucket, filled to the brim with steaks. It was kind of nostalgic of your first time in the exhibit. It was hard to believe it wasn’t that long ago.

You hummed to yourself as you approached the lions’ area. You furrowed your brow- the rocks had been rearranged in nearly a complete circle, with just enough room for you to walk inside and approach the king of the jungle’s sunning rock.

“Hey, Leona!” you called out to the lion halfling lazily regarding you from his perch, “Dinner time!”

The pride’s leader leapt down from his resting spot and casually approached you, his movements lazy yet filled with grace. His eyes, intelligent and painfully sharp, never left you as you entered the circle of rocks.

The other lions were nowhere to be found. Confused, you searched for them in the shade of the rocks, but there was no one there.

As you reached the middle of the circle, something occurred to you. The usually-cackling hyenas were unusually quiet. The hairs on your arms stood on end. Something’s wrong.

You turned to face the circle’s exit and, within an instant, strong arms had wrapped around your stomach, pulling you back against a solid chest. You gasped and dropped both buckets as you struggled to break free. The grip did not budge no matter how hard you fought.

“Shhh, easy there, herbivore,” a voice murmured in your ear, low and gravely and filled with amusement.

Your heart jumped out of your chest. It was Leona who had spoken, but it wasn’t the Leona you knew. It was the Leona whose gaze had started to linger too long for your liking. The Leona who had always seemed too much like a predator than a human.

But he wasn’t alone. 

Now facing the circle’s gap, you saw Ruggie, grinning from ear to ear, his eyes gleaming with mischief as he blocked your only exit.

“Gotcha!” Ruggie snickered, “Took you long enough.”

“What… what are you doing?!” you cried, trying to twist out of Leona’s grasp, making no progress whatsoever on escaping.

Leona’s breath was hot against your neck, “You spend too much time with those other exhibits,” he spat out the word like it was a slur, “You must pay more attention to us.”

Ruggie snickered again and leaned casually against the towering rocks, his eyes tracking every movement you made, “You ignore us. Not fair, y’know? You must remember your real favorites.”

Panic surged through you, but you forced yourself to stay calm, “This isn’t funny- let me go.”

Leona chuckled, the sound vibrating through your back, “We’re not joking, herbivore. You play with fire, you get burnt. We don’t like to share.”

“Share?” you echoed, voice shaky with fear and confusion, “What do you-”

“You’re ours,” Leona interrupted sternly, “You have always been ours.”

Ruggie pushed off the rock and sauntered over, his sharp-canined grin widening as he got closer, “You should have seen this coming. We dropped hints. You’re just too silly to notice.”

Leona’s nose brushed against your hair, inhaling deeply, “We’re tired of waiting around. You stay here now.”

You began to thrash desperately in his hold, but he held you effortlessly, like a mouse in a cat’s jaws.

“You’ll love it here!” Ruggie cooed, “No more zoo. No more stress. Just you, us, and the savannah. We will keep you cool. It’s perfect.”

The reality of the situation hit you all at once. They weren’t going to let you leave. They were deadly serious. The playful smile Ruggie wore was just a mask for the possession lurking beneath.

It was too much for you, and as hopelessness began to sink in, you began to cry, “Please just let me go, we can forget this ever happ-”

“You will not leave,” Leona growled, “You are our mate. And if anyone tries to take you away…”

You gulped at the insinuation. 

Ruggie moved closer and brushed a stray tear from your cheek, “Don’t cry. We take good care of you, promise. You won’t worry ever again.”

The vast savannah, once one of your favorite parts of the zoo, now felt like a huge, hot cage.

You were no longer a researcher to them. That much was clear.

And there was no escape from the lion’s den.

[movingthisblogcelestialtarot11]

Solar Return Observations ☀️✨

Hi friends! Today we’re discussing solar return notes + what I’ve observed from them. I’ve been observing for three years, but I’m not able to fit all of the details in one post. I can always make another 🦋 enjoy and feel free to like, comment and reblog.

Chiron in the 7th house 💌- Healing through partnership and connections. I’ve had this placement last year and went through a breakup which taught me a lot about self worth (Aries ruled 7th house SR) and I learned to stand up for myself. I learned to be my own best friend and start over after a loss. Everything in terms of my relationship and how I viewed it changed completely. It was a pretty long journey, being that Chiron is the wounded healer, I’d say about a year the cycles were going on. Anyone who has this placement in their SR chart, you can expect for healing to occur in your relationships. Not necessarily a breakup always, but definitely wounding will come up that year.

Neptune in the 6th house 🌷- Routines can be heavily centered around spirituality. Meditation, yoga, occult practices become a theme in the daily life. Incorporating this can help the native grow and develop a consistent routine, and eventually connect with a higher source of love (deity, religion, universe, etc) because Neptune is the higher octave of Venus. With Neptune here there’s an emphasis on romanticizing daily routine and self care. Certain day to day events can feel whimsical, ethereal, and fated even! The native may question that year their beliefs and want to start something new, or reignite spiritual passions ✨

Moon in the 4th house 🌙🌟- Romanticizing the past, viewing things from a nostalgic lenses, daydreaming about a family. The native may deal with family illusions around this time, manipulation, or themes surrounding the family this year. The native might find it difficult to balance their life as family is an important theme for the year, whether it’s their own, or biological. The mother could be significant this year, and the mother may try to build a close bond with the native. The past is viewed from a bittersweet lenses, as there’s an element of moving on but honoring the past for what it was.

Capricorn 4th house 🦋✨- Structure, evolution, and discipline is needed regarding the home. Things may be slow, sluggish, or even depressing in the house. Saturn slows things down and when Capricorn is in the 4th, it can point to restrictions, boundaries, and limits. The native will learn to have boundaries with the family that year, and the value of alone time. The necessity of independence, and rebuilding structure in terms of roots. New job, new ways of managing finances, moving homes even. The native may feel uncomfortable that year within their home, they could feel detached even more than usual, and may long for an actual home of their own. Their own independence apart from family. Family could be stricter that year, and family events may be limited.

Saturn in the 6th house 🤍🌹- Structure, routine, discipline through health. The native may develop a stable gym routine and eating habits that year, and their health will improve with dedication and practice! They may choose a better diet, and learn about proper nutrition that year, and take care of their digestive system especially. Even energetically, the native will find themselves not wanting to consume shows or channels that are stressful. The native is meant to build a stable routine with their health.

11th house stellium 🌷🥂- Emphasis on networking, friends and meeting new people. Lots of people will want to meet the native, and will try to talk to the native. It’s easier to meet people this year, and to form new connections. Even strangers will randomly strike up a conversation with the native. Potential for meeting a marriage partner or best friend is strong! Potential for growing famous online is also strong, you may start an online business or be online a lot more this year.

11th house sun ☀️✨- Finding others is how you come back to yourself. What kind of community will you center yourself around? This year the native will try to figure out what kinds of friends they want, and where they belong. Through others the native comes to themselves, and people will teach a lot to the native. Not necessarily handing out wisdom, but there will be situations in which the native has to choose their own community and their beliefs compared to what everyone else wants.

11th house Venus 🦋🤍- Having friends and community becomes important, and the native realizes the importance of it all this year. Lots of people may want to date and get to know the native, as the 11th house is public. The native will be seen a lot more by others, around the place and people may actually make comments about that (I’ve had that happen with this placement many times!) The native will find that somehow the people around them come the right time when they need help too. Almost as if they’re blessed 💘 The native learns a lot about detachment from others expectations, and opinion. It’s about finding what works for them not for others this year. Potential for dating online is strong! And meeting someone through a dating app or social media.

Mars in the 12th house 💗🌹- The natives abilities and effort may struggle to be seen and recognized. There’s a sense that the natives effort is hidden, and the native feels unseen. It’s important this year the native keeps their plans and goals hidden as there could be others who want to criticize negatively. Especially with virgo 12th house! People may expect perfection from the native this year, or the native will struggle with perfectionist tendencies, and eventually will be the self undoing (12th house) Perfectionism is the natives enemy this year, and the native will have to find ways to understand themselves and work on their tendencies. There’s a chance to end up injured or hurt this year, so be cautious. The zodiac sign in that house will tell you where. For example if you have Virgo 12th house, your stomach in some way could struggle this year or be injured.

North Node in the 8th house ☕️💌- Leaving behind the material realm for the spiritual. Native is involved heavily with healing, releasing, and esoteric practices. The native eventually finds balance towards the end of the year with the material realm, but will likely find 6-8 months of deep inner work. Boundaries regarding spirituality get muddled as the native explores their psyche, uncovering new experiences! Healing and transformation through the past, to be in the present. Certain relationships can fall apart as it’s not aligned with the natives growth. Jobs may change as the native adjusts to their needs.

Libra Ascendant 🥂💗- Focus is on beauty and seeing the world through a connective lenses. Connection everywhere, with nature, people, communities, spirituality, etc. the native will fill more in touch with their fair and balanced side. This year the native will focus on balance, and not doing too less or too much. The act of balancing means things will be out of balance, so this year the native will go through upheaval as well. They will learn about discipline and structure throughout these changes, and work on mending things that were out of place. Going back and rebuilding. Or starting new if needed. The natives peace is important, and the native could find a partner this year! Depending on the other SR placements. The native is looking for ways to be connected to whats around them and within them.

Pluto in the 7th house 🌟🌷- Transformative relationships and unhealthy dynamics can come up this year in the native. Power dynamics and upheaval of roots in connections. The natives relationships with others is changing tremendously, and likely they could attract someone healing as well, and the two can heal. But with pluto here it can get intense and chaotic, if the two aren’t consistent working on themselves. People from outside could try to get into the natives relationship, adding gossip. It’s important to stay private this year with relationships.

Venus in the 12th house ✨☀️- Some I knew actually met a soulmate that year, the potential for a deep bonding connection came up. It was long distance given the 12th house ruling distant lands. If Venus is in a water sign for that year, the connection is a psychic one and very intuitive. Her house had cancer over it, and she developed a close bond with someone. They did things for the first time she’d never done before like traveling to another place! Everything was kept private, as Venus fell in the 12th house. Although this happened, they both mirrored wounds and did inner work to sustain the connection, and had a connection that was incredibly intimate. So Venus in the 12th can bring up a romantic interest, a connection that will be profound in terms of inner healing. It can also mean the native will choose to heal and do inner work, and not have the desire to date that year. It can mean codependency is the natives undoing that year in their relationships.

Sun in the 1st house ☀️🥂- Focus is on the self, growing and improving the body. The native could go to the gym and explore new routines, or be athletic that year. Participating in a sport they enjoy. Their appearance will go through a massive change too, someone I knew impulsively cut their hair after drinking lmao. It was super long, and then they went short! The father could be in the natives life a lot more, whether thats through spending time and bonding, or being intrusive and invasive. The native will realize a lot in terms of their strength, depending on which zodiac sign falls in the sun. For example, if its Leo, the native will realize a lot of their determination; strength, resilience and their self esteem will improve.

Venus in the descendant or 7th house 🤍☕️- Dating someone! Or meeting someone who is a potential partner. Venus was in my 7th house for my SR when I got into long term relationships. Conj. NN will be an impactful relationship, NN is also associated with destruction in a way because it rebuilds, and what doesn’t work must leave, so that relationship I had was incredibly chaotic 😅 But for those who have Venus in the 7th house, you will potentially meet a long term partner that year. Check the zodiac sign and that’ll tell you how! Someone with Gemini Venus 7th house met someone online.

Venus in the 1st 🌟🌹- Appearance changes! A glow up will definitely happen that year, and ideals of your relationship will change a lot. What you expect, want, desire will go through changes. You may prefer healing therapy of some kind for the body, like massages, or yoga. Something to restore the body physically. You could absolutely be in the gym too!

Saturn in the 1st 🌙🦋- Having to be more structural and disciplined within yourself. Setting new routines and maturing personal boundaries. You may struggle with dissatisfaction and apathy this year, because you’re moving towards what fulfills you. Check the zodiac sign to see what will be maturing most within yourself that year. For example if its in Pisces, you’ll be maturing the part of you that has wishes, dreams, but has been passive in taking an approach to make them happen.

Venus in the 5th house🌙🥂- More fun and romance this year! The chance to get to know someone and friendship. However your approach to dating will differ depending on what zodiac sign falls in the 5th house. For example, if it’s in Capricorn, you’ll take on a reserved and detached approach to relationships. You’ll show up practical.

Capricorn Venus 🦋🤍- Material matters are important and you’ll likely pick up extra hours this year. Your approach to relationships are practical, refined and you have a long term focus. You don’t want anyone or anything unnecessary, as you know it’ll hinder you this year. There’s a need to mature when it comes to relationships and understanding how they work, because Capricorn is ruled by Saturn. There will be lessons on emotional intimacy this year!

Leo Venus 🥂🌟- This year there will be a focus on attracting the one potentially, and going big. Not playing small in relationships and attracting abundance. Loyalty is important, and the native wants a commitment within their friendships or romantic interests. The native steps into their worth and their value. By valuing themselves, they learn to realize their value in other peoples life. Lessons regarding self worth and value will come up, and the native will find themselves having to speak up for what they deserve in relationships!

Thats all I have ya’ll! I hope y’all enjoyed and please support this blog 💗🤗 it’s very much appreciated! If ya’ll would like I’d love to do more of this!

[luimagines]

Hello, I’ve been lurking here a while and just wanted to say that I love your works and have binged through your masterlist a fair amount, it’s just so good I Uugh, love it. For requests could I ask for another part to Prince sky and Prince twilight? I’m sorry I don’t any ideas on what I’d like to see or anything I just love it a lot, twilight is my favorite and the drama is so nice

I'm happy to be of service. It's one of my favorite indulgences. XD

Masterlist

First Part/ Previous Part

Content under the cut!

Prince Twilight

"Ok." You say into the quiet of the room he brought you to. The walk had been awkward and silent. Neither of you were willing to break the fragile thing that was teetering on the edge of the abyss between you both. "...You wanted to talk. You can talk. I'll listen. I won't interrupt. I will save any questions until the end."

Prince Link seems to flinch at your unwavering tone. But little did he know that was to keep you from breaking down on the spot.

You had really, really like him. This had felt like the biggest betrayal and slap on the face to boot. How could have have fooled you like this? You thought you were friends.

Prince Link gulps a bit, his tail swishly lowly behind him. He offers you a seat by his coffee table. "It's... a long story. But I'll to keep it brief enough so that it makes sense."

You sit down and make yourself comfortable.

The chair nearly has you melting on the spot as it is. A testament to his wealth and status, you had no idea that a chair could be this comfortable.

Prince Link sighs and rubs his hand over his head, mussing up the fur by his ear in the process. "Look... It's stifling here, in this castle, in this role, in this position I was born into. I'm watched constantly... I sneak away from the castle just to walk around the normal and common folk. I want to see my people, know how they live, see my country and my homeland and get to set its roots and soil deep within the marrow of my being."

He gives it a moment to breathe. You say nothing and he's not sure if that's worse than if you were to interrupt him with questions and accusations.

"It was just to get away from my work." He finds himself saying. "It was just taking breaks from all my duties as future king. I wasn't trying to lead you on."

Then he remembers a previous conversation you had.

"I know that there are rumors about me going to visit women and being a delinquent and enjoy my time with debauchery and all sorts of things not befitting a noble, but you have to believe me." He stresses. "I meant no harm."

You take a deep breath and sigh. You can find yourself believing that, however, that doesn't change the months that had passed with you completely ignorant to his real identity.

Prince Link waits for you to say something. The silence is deafening and when you realize that he's waiting for you, you speak. "Why humor me though? You targeted me first."

"You weren't targeted." Prince Link's grits out. His voice is rough and his ears are pinned. "It was an accident at first but I was having too much fun just talking to someone who knew nothing about me. You... smelled different. I knew you weren't local."

You sit up straighter. It didn't occur to you that the locals here with their more canine qualities would be able to pick that up.

The prince clears his throat again. "Not to mention you fought with me. No one fights with me. I was intrigued and... and I kept coming back. I wanted to-.... I liked talking to you. I always looked forward to just being next to you. I've met anyone who's captured my attention so thoroughly as you have."

You bite your lip. That's about as close to a confession as he could make without saying one. Does he mean that?

The silence is tense once more.

Someone knocks on the door and enters without waiting. It appears to be a butler of sorts. "Your Majesty, tea?"

The prince gulps the spit in his mouth again and nods. "Yes, thank you, Jamison." Prince Link turns to you, rubbing his palms on his pants. His ears have perked up and his tails sways below him. "Tea?"

You give it another beat before you nod, letting your shoulders relax. "Yes, that sounds lovely actually."

Prince Sky

The council man stutters while Prince Link struggles to meet you in the eye.

Luka comes back into the room with a tray in his hand and places it on the table as if nothing was happening in the door way. He's quick to pour some tea and set out the snack he had brought out as well.

Prince Link shifts his body so that it stands between you and the council, cutting off the awkward stare down. "Senator Egale, please, leave them out of this. I am more than happy to have a proper civilized discussion about my recent galivanting on the surface and why I had even taken an interest on the Hylian to begin with."

The council man gives a long suffering and otherwise scornful sigh. "Prince Link, while I applaud you for trying to own up to this whole charade you've been testing us with-"

Luka pats your shoulder, catching your attention and distracting you from the conversation surrounding you. He holds up a small and delicate looking china cup with darling loftwings painted on the side. "Tea?"

"I..." The words get caught in your throat. You might vomit. "Tea sounds lovely right now. Thank you."

You take the cup. It's warm and sweet and smells likes peaches.

Your favorite.

With a shudder, you force yourself to sit on the couch. Luka doesn't waste time to put small cookies and treats on a matching saucer and holds it out to you.

Numbly, you sip the tea, letting the hot liquid ground you into reality.

Prince Link and the council men are still arguing but it's all muted to your overloading brain.

You absentmindedly take a cookie and nibble on it. You've never had it before. It's a little salty but sweet and soft to bite.

You end up finishing the cookie and reach for another one.

"Don't worry too much." Luka whispers to you over the steadily growing volume of Prince Link and the councilman. "They like to make a fuss over anything the prince does if he so much as takes one step out of line. They don't have a lot a political power without his consent as the future king."

You gulp and try to make sense of this whole situation. The idea of trying to make sense of it all felt like trying to keep water in your hands in the middle of the rushing river.

"Then why am I here?" You whisper back. "If they have no power, then why bring me here? I didn't even know he was a human."

"They still have power." He stresses. "They simply don't have more power than the future king. They don't want you to be a distraction or take him away from marrying future nobility. They merely want you out of the picture and will attempt to take you out by any means necessary."

A moment passes.

You don't feel like having tea any more.

"....Even kill me?"

Luka takes a moment. "Not if Prince Link can help it. High Priestess Zelda will have a word with them as well. It is unlikely that they will succeed. But for this to stay remotely under control, it's best for you to stay close to Prince Link."

You curl up on the couch and vaguely note that the door had closed and that the council man had left.

Prince Link groans and sit on the same couch as you, but on the far end. He takes a cup of tea and drinks it without second thought. "Is Zelda arriving within the hour, Luka? I fear we do not have much time to spare any more unfortunate formalities."

Luka bows. "She has posted that she will be arriving post haste, your majesty."

"Excellent." He rests his head back against the couch and sits there in silence for a moment. After the moment has gone, he reaches for a cookie and eats it in one bite.

He turns to you again. "You'll like Zelda. You've seen her before."

That sends your mind spiraling. "I have?"

Prince Link nods. "Once or twice... She's mostly likely the reason we're here to begin with."

"Meaning?"

"She may be my best friend, but she's a terrible gossip." Prince Link rubs his hand down his face. "I swear, I take full accountability for this. I'll try to get you home safe and sound and as fast as possible."

You put your tea cup down and turn to face him. Opening your mouth to speak, you prepare for the scathing words you've been holding back right when someone knocks on the door.

Luka bows and goes to open it.

[ncis-yp]

Soaked (Tony x Reader)

Idk wtf to call it but it popped into my head. I might write more on it later 🤷‍♀️.

Tony had an awful day at work. An awful gruesome death had crossed his eyes and the victim resembled you. He had been stressing since the afternoon, not being able to contact you due to his phone being out of order… stupid flip phone.

He worried about you. He knew you were at either college or working. Remembering that today you didn’t have to carry a double shift behind the bar at Stevie’s. He was grateful for that. The murder had scarred his mind. It then occurred to him how it could’ve been you. How anyone of these murders could’ve been you.

When Gibbs dismissed them, he sped home at felony speeds. Gotta get home to make sure (y/n)’s okay Was the only thing on his mind. As he hit 120 on the highway. His corvette weaving through the light 7 pm traffic.

You were safe at home, showering when you heard the door open. You knew Tony was home. Dinner was on the stove still warm, he usually waited till you could sit with him so you were expecting to find him sitting on the couch reading a magazine or searching for a movie in the TV.

You heard the bathroom door open.

“Hi baby how was -“ you were interrupted by Tony’s entire figure entered the shower, clothes and all. “Tony what the fuck?” You somewhat giggled as he embraced you tightly. You hugged him back. The water soaking his suit all the way down to the socks. You rubbed his back as he held you.

“Im so happy you’re alive” was all he said in that moment as you stood in the water. “I’m so happy”

“Of course, baby” you reply. “Of course”

You wondered what was going on. He was in the shower with you, which wasn’t the usual part, but he was still fully dressed. You decided that you weren’t going till press it. He would tell you when he could.

Time skip~

You were sitting at the table rambling on about your day and your classes, your college books laid out in front of you. Tony had been holding your hand from across the table, eating and listening to you, looking at you intently with love.

“Are you okay, T?” You asked. Smiling as you brushed a piece of hair behind your ear.

“I love listening to you talk” he said and smiled softly. “I love the way your eyes light up when you talk about your profession and day at work. I love listening to you ramble on and on about stuff that I have no idea how you manage to study and retain all of it. I love how driven you are and how dedicated to being a pharmacist you are.” Tony spoke, almost poetically.

“Anthony” you say. “What happened today?”

“I saw someone that looked like you in a way I’d never want to see you and it scared me. It reminded me that my job is really dark, no matter how much I love my job. I love you so much.” He replied solemnly. “I was scared today, (y/n)”

“Im right here, okay baby?” You hold his hand tightly. “It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to worry, it’s okay and it’s going to be okay. I’m alive and here in front of you. In the flesh. You have a job that’s dark and scary, but you don’t ever have to worry about losing me, okay? I know “if it happens to anyone it can happen to you”, but here’s a secret” you say .

“Whats the secret?” He smirks gently.

“Im Anthony DiNozzos girlfriend you whisper in his ear. “Nothing can hurt me as long as Im with you” he smiles.

“Guess I gotta keep you forever” he kisses you.

“Yeah, forevaaass” you say dramatically before you kiss him back. You smiled at each other as you saw peace settle in his face. Relief falling in his eyes.

“I love you so much” he hugs you.

“I love you so much more than that”

[ohsohoney]

When it comes to love you're just as blinded.

Part Fifteen

Eminem x Musician

Summary: It starts with a drunk embarrassing video, it spirals into something a whole lot more.

Note: Sorry sorry sorry for how long it's taken for me to update!! Had a lot on and then I got real sick. Hope this is an alright update though:) Continues on from the last scene where they were at the cinema!

Enjoy seeing the articles I tried to make too lmao, they're there not too far down after the first couple paragraphs. Idk what I was thinking w that one, but it felt necessary after the long wait!

| Set in 2014, just after the release of LP 2

taglist: @thelastemzy @helloitsme1223 @geekchic48

Masterlist

It was Saturday, and Saturday typically meant that the weekend had finally come. And both of those things had yet to occur whilst I’d been staying in Detroit. Which, in truth, wasn’t the only thing to throw me completely off my game this morning.

Although honestly, it was a really big change.

Rosie wasn’t around yet. Apparently Saturday’s were sacred days within the Mathers household, seeing as the pre-teen liked to sleep in on the mornings she had off from school, which also meant that Marshall got to finally have a lie-in. Or, at least it seemed that way when I’d decided to venture from the confines of my room around about nine, after having had a brief breakdown over everything I’d woken up to.

The media was in meltdown mode.

Every news outlet from here to Beijing was talking about the pictures that had been captured last night in the car park to the theatre, as well as the one’s I’d taken with that particular girl outside of the women’s bathroom. It seemed that other fans had connected all the dots in the time between my head hitting the pillow and now. 

I had zero idea as to what I was meant to do about it all. My phone was blowing up with notifications from every account that I held, as well as friends and even some family members I hadn’t spoken to since I’d told them where they could shove it the last time they’d come sniffing round looking for a payout. 

It was the most nauseating feeling, believing that you’d lost complete control over a situation.

But it was just as I’d gathered up the courage to go knock on Em’s bedroom door that my phone rang once again. Only this time, it was one of the names I’d been hoping to see. 

“Elia, you there?”

A shaky breath escaped me as I pressed my phone closer to my ear, hastily turning on my heel to head down the stairs. 

“Mila.” I exhaled, but even I could hear the anxiety that lined my voice and it wasn’t because Mila and I had barely spoken since the whole argument we’d had over Lottie. No, this was down to me knowing that things had to be really fucked up because my manager had shared that same wavering tone. “I don’t know what to do. Everything– it’s all just blown up in my face.”

There was a long pause which followed my clumsy reply, I used it to slip out of the back garden door to escape the sudden confining feel the house had started to give me. Which seemed so stupid in hindsight, what with how big it was, but that thought alone allowed me to take another deep breath. 

I shivered at the cold that overwhelmed Detroit in the early throes of winter but didn’t care enough to head back inside to grab a cardigan or even a pair of shoes. My mind honed in on the way my life seemed to be crumbling piece by piece, first with Lottie and her dad, then that whole back and forth thing with Marshall, and now this.

“It’s not as bad as you think.”

Rolling my eyes at the answer Mila gave, I could only huff out a mirthless laugh, stressed beyond belief. 

“Yeah, it’s not like my face is plastered over every gossip rag across the world– oh wait, it is.” I sniped back, “And they’re all painting me out to be Marshall’s next big fling, and if not that, then some fucking groupie. Like I’m not a nominated artist too, as though all I am is someone to mooch off of his fame.”

Mila sighed softly, even after my heated retort, and I could hear it clearly over the rustle of leaves as well the birds that seemed to be chirping in the distance. I tried to let them ground me. “I didn’t mean it like that. It probably does look pretty bad from your end–”

I cut her off with a scoff– so much for trying for a bit of calm. “Bad? Mila, bad would have been me spotted leaving Detroit and people conspiring over why I was here in the first place. Not this.” I dragged a tense hand through my hair, “Em is gonna flip his shit when he sees everything.”

She sighed, again, and I could only rub tiredly at my eyes. “Babe, listen to me. You’ve not ever really had any publicity like this,” Mila started, and before I could think to lash back at that remark, she was already beating me to the punch, “And no, before you say anything, not like that. I know that you don’t want anything out of this whole fiasco, believe me the amount of times I’ve had to suffer through just because your ego wouldn’t let you take anything for free is insufferable. But anyway, I simply meant in the way that you’ve not really had many big knocks or hits like this throughout the press. Sure, your family and your background’s been brought up a lot, but babe, those are just conversation starters for you now, it sort of was back then too. This is all just scarier to you because it’s new.”

I had to take a second to really hear Mila’s words, for them to sink and settle before I could analyse them. In a way, she wasn’t completely wrong. I could at least admit that. Didn't mean that I hadn’t faced my fair share of backlash though, just maybe not on this level? And not over someone I was supposedly dating either, my brain unhelpfully supplied.

I closed my eyes, silently wishing for a cigarette I didn’t have, and then unclenched my jaw.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” I confessed to her quietly, then shivered when another harsh wind blew through the garden. I wrapped an arm around myself, to shelter me from the cold air or how exposed I felt, I didn’t know.

Mila stayed silent too, until I heard a large intake of breath and the sound of a door closing on the other side. “Here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re going to talk to Marshall, you’re going to figure out what it is you want, not just him or his team.” She added as a forethought, knowing me far too well. “Then the pair of you, you and him, can decide how and where you want to take this.”

I exhaled slowly and watched as my breath clouded the air, it made me wonder how cold it might have been over in London. “Right.”

Mila continued on, her familiar lilt taking back the weariness which had homed it minutes earlier, “I mean it’s not like anything’s actually happened, if you want to you two can just ignore it easy, wait for this all to blow over. It’s just gossip.”

My eyes widened and I stilled at her words.

But I must’ve been quiet far too long though, because Mila called my name and suddenly I was forcing myself to blink as I attempted to swallow back the memories of that kiss, of him holding my hand with all the care in the world. 

“Right,” I repeated again, then cursed the way my voice cracked on the vowel.

Mila caught it right away and I felt rather than heard her internalise exactly what that could possibly mean, “You haven’t done anything– right?”

My mouth worked over words that wouldn’t quite come out and then winced when I heard my manager drop the phone to curse heatedly in Spanish.

It took a long minute before Mila had seemingly calmed herself enough to return to the call, time in which I spent worrying my knuckle between my teeth and wondering if everything that had happened with Em was even worth mentioning. If it mattered enough to him for me to voice it now. 

“How long have I been telling you that you need to get back out there, to meet somebody and have some fun? I’m glad you took my advice, really, but I didn’t quite mean wrangle the biggest old-school rapper into your bed whilst holidaying in his mansion!”

I let my head fall into the hand not holding my phone and pinched at the bridge of my nose. I didn’t want to regret it, the things that had happened with Marshall, but Mila was sort of right. What had I really expected to happen between the two of us? He was a Dad, more famous than anyone could hope to be, and a tad bit older… Okay, a fair bit older– a decade, sue me. Hollywood had seen worse.

That wasn’t even it though, how had I yet to consider what the media, the press, the fans would think of it all? I supposed I’d pretty much found out.

“I didn’t sleep with him.”

Mila made an odd sort of noise at my admission which sounded tinny through the speaker, “Don’t lie to me now! Those photos don’t offer much, I’ll give you that, but babe, there was some sort of connection there.”

I fish mouthed again. 

Mila didn’t seem to note the silence, “People are in actual awe over the look one picture managed to capture on his face! There’s no way you haven’t got that man wrapped around your finger.”

Blinking, I tried to recall what image she could possibly be talking about. I hadn’t seen anything of the sort. “I wouldn’t lie to you, Mils. Nothing like that has happened. It was just–” My mouth felt dry, the sort of dry you’d experience after being lost in a desert for days or just swallowed a spoonful of flour.

“Just what?” Mila prodded.

And I forced myself to finish my sentence, stare caught on the dampness that clung to the soles of my feet, “A kiss.”

–

I had a list now. 

Of tasks to complete, one of which warned me to stay off all social media for my own good. Mila’s orders, not my own. But still, I couldn’t quite part with my phone even as I stepped back through the garden door into the kitchen, shivering at the rapid change in temperature and the sick feeling of anxiety that welled inside of me. 

Even with that though, I noticed how the house now seemed to buzz, in a way which had me figuring that I was no longer the only occupant awake. So I swallowed back the lump of worry that sat heavy in my throat and made to trail my way further inside, ignoring the slight chill of tile that followed my feet. 

I found him stood at the very top of the stairs with Rosie hanging off his hip, the silliest of grins plastered across her face which only appeared to brighten upon seeing me. “El!” She called out in excitement before she turned to fix her father with a ‘told you so’ glare, “See, she is awake!”

Marshall rolled his eyes at the rebuttal, but did evidently blow out a huffed chuckle in turn, choosing to let his daughter slip down his side and out of the captive hold he’d had her in for my supposed sake. He shook his head at her before he then turned to me, the exasperated look he’d gifted her disappeared the moment he saw my face. “You good?” He asked me, brow furrowing as Z peered between the pair of us.

“Where’s your phone?” Is all I answered him with.

His expression deepened at the nonanswer, but he scratched his head in thought before he recalled, “Chargin’ downstairs, I think. Died when we got home.”

Home, home, home.

I realised, not for the first time, that I’d taken to thinking of it that way too. Calling it London and not home each time it got brought up.

Swallowing once more, I felt another wave of nausea overwhelm me. Rosie’s head tilted in confusion as she quietly made her way down the staircase, hand sliding over the wooden rail. “I–” I tried, but fumbled for the right words to say. If there even were any. I let go of another breath, “You should go take a look.”

Marshall greeted my words with a look of reservation but did move to step down off the landing, making it to the bottom just as Rosie crowded me, her smaller figure slotting into my side with ease. I allowed a hand to come up and cradle the top of her head, hoping that whatever transpired from this wouldn’t sour things enough to send me back to London early.

And why was that my only hope? Instead of the way this could all impact me and my career, or the people around Marshall?

I didn’t move to follow Em as he made his way into the kitchen, socked feet padding over the tiled floor, much preferring the warmth that radiated from Z as I fought not to worry at my knuckles once more. I didn’t know whether or not I wanted to bear witness to his reaction. 

“You’re freezing.” 

The words caught me by surprise and so I blinked away from where I’d just been staring off into the distance, then peered down at the girl whose arms were wound around me. Rosie had her head tilted back, chin resting on the curve of my arm as she waited for an explanation. 

“Sorry, just stepped outside for a minute,” I apologised to her whilst simultaneously answering the unasked question. It was subconscious, the action to rub a gentle hand up and down her arm in hopes to warm the pair of us up a tad, and Z countered her previous words by burrowing in closer. 

“Are you leaving then?” 

That next question immediately had me frowning, wiping away all the previous doubts that had just been running rampant through my mind. 

“No, not yet.” I assured her softly, peering down at her once again. Her face was half-hidden, blonde hair mussed by sleep, and in that moment she looked so much younger to me. “Why you asking, hoping to get rid of me?” I teased sweetly, hoping that the method wouldn’t send her skittering into her shell and instead give me something of an honest answer.

The girl shook her head against my arm, then shrugged, “Just, you looked sad.”

A sad smile slowly eased over my features at that and I couldn’t help the way I squeezed her tighter. “Busy morning, I think.” I said in comfort, then thought about my next words, “But even if I was sad, doesn’t mean I’d just pack up and leave. Me and you, we’ve bonded, gonna have a hard time getting rid, okay?”

I pinched her side playfully with that, a move that had her squeaking and tripping over her feet to get away from my attack whilst still staying plastered to my side. “Don’t! You’re actually the worst!”

Laughing as she dissolved into giggles too, I relented on the tickling. And it was just as I went to reply that a sound had my head snapping up and over towards the kitchen doorway, heart stilling in my chest at the sight of Marshall stood there, phone in hand, his face void of any emotion.

“We need to talk.”

Rosie appeared to be all too aware of the sudden tension that dragged between us then, as well as the coil of nerves which straightened my spine, because she let her arms slip from my waist and took her hand in mine, squeezing ever so as she turned to look up at me. Obviously confused, she had no words to offer but the sentiment was clear anyway, she cared enough to stand against her Dad without even knowing what was going on.

It threw me completely.

Marshall seemed to catch on to the silent protest too, his blank expression flickering with evident surprise before he managed to unclench his hand from around his phone and drag it over the top of his head. He slumped, the ridgid stress he’d just been wearing melting ever so slightly. “We just gone talk, Z. She ain’t goin’ nowhere, I swear it’s work stuff. Something happened and now we gotta work out how we gone fix it, baby. That’s all.”

Z stared long and hard back at Marshall and the man met her eyes dead on, showing her he only meant the truth. His words seemed to appease some part of her, I deemed, enough to have her tightening her hold on my hand once more before she reluctantly pulled away. 

I only wished that they’d had the same effect on me.

“That mean we’re not having pancakes then?” She wondered as she trailed across the hallway to head towards the kitchen, Em’s shoulders dropped slightly when she approached and he moved to run a hand through her hair.

“Promise is a promise. Jus’ have to wait a little longer, cool?” He answered, gazing down at her before he finally allowed her to slip by after she’d given him a nod. It was with that in which he turned to face me again and I had no idea what was going to go down, let alone how he was going to react. So when he silently gestured his head off to the side, I could only force my feet into following behind him.

We ended up in a small office just off of the living room, one I hadn’t really been in before now and that was decorated sparsely enough to ensure that no one else did either, at least not often.

Marshall took perch at the desk in there, large and mahogany, and leaned across it to start up the computer monitor stationed on its top. I found myself trailing after him, shuffling awkwardly on a dark rug for a second over where to sit before I just rolled my eyes at myself and moved around the desk to sit on its corner, uncaring for the way Marshall’s brows lifted in slight surprise. Because honestly, if we were going to do this then I wanted to see what the fuck the media was rioting over too, and how was I meant to do exactly that from the upholstered cushion sat on the desks opposing side?

He didn’t comment on it, though his eyes did trail over me for a split second before the screen flickered through the usual start up and login. I watched him type in his password, noting how he didn’t much seem to mind me peeking, before my eyes flitted back down to his face, taking in the way the monitor's light flickered over his skin and how his tongue darted out to wet his lower lip.

I wrung my fingers together in a way that would occupy my mind, mouth pursing at the sight of the slightly reddened knuckles I’d abused earlier. My stare must have caught Marshall’s attention too because I startled a tad when he reached out to pause my fidgeting, gaze lingering on the raised skin before the pad of his thumb moved to soothe it. 

Suddenly my tongue felt too big for my mouth and all I could do was stare before his startled gaze flickered up to meet me. It almost appeared as though he hadn’t even realised he’d done it. 

“Z’s okay, right?” I found myself asking him as I cleared my throat after he’d withdrawn his hand.

His sniff filled the silence as his arm jumped over to grab the mouse, now focused on the screen. “She um,” He coughed lightly, the click of the keys filling his tense pause, “She gets a little weary about shit like that, I guess. People leaving. Had a lot of ‘em come in and out of her life, figure it fucked with her a bit.” Marshall admitted gruffly, purposely paying attention to the computer now instead of meeting my eye. 

I continued to watch him though, content to wait. My patience earned me a little more.

“Thought she’d grown outta it though, you know? Used to cry for her mom when she’d drop her off, or when I took her to school. Shit was always worse when I had to tour. Couple years back, she even got upset when Maria, our cleaning lady, moved States. Didn’t come outta her room for days.” He shrugged lightly as he recalled it, acting as though it didn’t much bother him anymore, but I could tell that it was eating away at him still, how much he blamed himself for Rosie’s struggle. “Figure she likes you enough that it’s sort of– I dunno.” He sighed, then waved it all off, desperate to move on it seemed, “You know what, don’t worry about it. I’ll figure it out.”

I wanted to sigh then too, because how could he think that I’d allow that to just slide?

“I’m here for her too, you know.” I heard myself say after a second or two had passed and kept myself from looking over at him to garner his reaction to that particular statement. This was meant to be work. I was just here to work. Though, that reminder had long since grown old. “I get it, being scared to attach yourself to new people in fear that they'll hurt you by leaving too. And Rosie, she’s not messed up for feeling that way, it’s just a coping mechanism. One a lot of kids experience–”

Em scoffed at that and my eyes instantly snapped over to find him shaking his head at me.

I narrowed my eyes a tad, but not unkindly or in defence, just a little perplexed. 

“It’s true. Sure, they might not all have had a childhood like hers or mine, or even yours.” I acquiesced, “But even the kids who have that apple pie type life and grow up with cookie cut families can still be scared about those they love leaving. Like because their Dad works abroad a lot so they don’t see much of him, or how someone forgot to pick them up this one time and made them wait so now they’re fucked up forever.” 

I smiled at the small laugh that escaped from Marshall at that, probably thinking over how normal that had probably been for him as a kid. I got it. “Mind’s weird, man. Kids are adaptable, but they get just as scuffed up as the rest of us. Z’s the same, but she’ll figure it out.”

“Or, jus’ do what you did and hold onto it so tight that people have to fight their way into her life.” Em countered easily, earning an audible gasp from me before he was smirking away and reaching out to poke a finger into my knee, assuring me that it was all in jest, “And don’t call me man, that shit’s weird.”

“Why not? What’s wrong with man?” I protested, grinning now as I started to pester him, “We’re homies, aren’t we? Buddies? Brothers?”

I cackled when he reached up to crowd a hand over my mouth, shaking his head all the while, even as I shimmied to try and escape his onslaught.

“What about bud?” I asked him from over the top of his hand the second I could, trying to steer my head away as I swatted him with my foot in retaliation, “Or dude? Hey, how about bro? Bro’s a good one!”

“Elia.” Marshall warned in a low tone once he finally caught my wrists in his hands, stilling me completely. Though I could see the tiny beginnings of his smile.

My eyes flashed upwards to meet his when he stood up from the desk’s chair, “Yeah?” I only continued to push, hoping that it would get me somewhere. Where though? I had no idea.

“You talk too much.”

My smile was far too smug.

“First time I've ever been told that.” I rebuffed, letting myself lean a little further into his hold.

“Somehow I don’t believe that.”

Humming, my eyes flickered between his own. “What do you want me to call you then?”

Marshall stared back at me unblinkingly for a long second, before his gaze dropped to my mouth then away again. “Guess that’s jus’ another thing we can go ahead and figure out.”

[tw1l1te]

𝖋𝖆𝖑𝖘𝖊 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖔- 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊

Author's note: Sorry this one's a bit short! Finals and work are killing me :<

ᨒ↟ ⋆｡°

You sigh heavily once you shut the door, the interaction leaving you more stressed out than before. You could already sense the dynamic you were going to have with them, however long they ended up staying in the village or being involved in your life. 

You were beneath them.

You could sense it, the way some of them almost looked down at you, judging you by the information you gave them. But, frankly, you didn’t care. This is your era, not theirs, so you were going to fulfill whatever purpose you had your way.

You walk through the path that lead deeper into the woods, eyeing the cottage on the edge of the forest. It was already getting dark out, the sky a dark shade of periwinkle.

Walking up to the door, you knock lightly calling out to the woman inside, “Impa? You there?”

“Y/n! Come in, come in!”

You opened the door to find Impa hunched over a map in front of her small fireplace. Closing the door behind you, you walk up to her to see what exactly she was looking at.

“Heard some family has come to see you.”

“They’re not my family. I’m not even remotely related to them.”

“Your spirit says otherwise. Have you told them?”

“Yes. Well, the important parts at least.”

“Lying will just end up making things worse for you, Y/n.”

“I didn’t technically lie. They just happened to not ask certain things.”

“I see.”

You both stay quiet for a moment, basking in the embers of the small fire. Fire was a necessity in this day and age, considering how you almost never feel warm enough now, regardless of how many layers or how many fires you have. Impa stands up, setting the map down on a nearby stool.

“Care for some tea? It’s spiced, so it’ll warm you up some more.”

“Sure, I'd like that.”

She hands you a carved cup full of tea, the rivulets of steam dancing on the surface of the liquid. Blowing at the tea, you take a small sip, the warm drink soothing your throat and warming your chest.

“It’s good, Impa, thank you.”

She nods in thanks, sitting back down on her chair. Her face looks worried, though you anticipate her discussing what’s on her mind. 

“Y/n there’s activity at the Northern edge of the forest. Presumably, followers of Hylia have found our encampment and want to gain access into our underground archives south of the village. I’ve already communicated with Arden and the others. It’s best you leave at dawn in order to cut them off. We can’t risk any discovery, not now.”

You stare at the tea in your hands as she tells you this, already in the process of formulating what you need to bring and what tactics you should use.

“It’s also best if you travel by foot to avoid any technology tracking or excessive noise, especially with Hylians. You and I both know they have better hearing than most.”

You know what she was hinting at with that statement: an accident that had occured during your travels a couple years ago. 

She scootches up to you, hands on her knees.

“We both know we want to avoid conflict and move towards a peaceful future. We can’t do that if our entire village is massacred and stripped bare of records and families. I’m sorry I have to ask you again, you know I can’t promise it’ll end anytime soon.”

You smile sadly at her, nodding at her words.

“I know. I’ve come to terms with that for the most part. I just… hate having to get rid of her servants, knowing they can be saved from her manipulation and control.”

She nods, reaching for your hands. Despite years of training and combat, her hands felt so comforting and warm. Something you’d never expect from an old, hardened woman.

Sighing, you place the tea down, looking at Impa.

“I better go. I promised the… ancestors I’d find them a place to rest for the night. I’ll converse with the rest of the team before tomorrow to make sure we’re well prepared.”

You take a pause, walking towards the door. Looking back, you whisper,

“Thank you, Impa.”

~

You made a straight bee line back to the main camp, hands balled into fists to contain your nerves. You couldn’t wait, all of you needed to leave now. 

Hylia’s followers were unpredictable, and you knew that if you didn’t leave soon, the camp would be dead by dawn.

You finally see the main cabin in view, panting lightly from trekking in the snow. Pushing the door open, you immediately start looking for Colin, Arden, Dusk and the others. The heroes could find their own damn house, they were more than capable of that.

Speaking of, you could feel their eyes on you, no doubt curious as to why you were in such a rush. Time and Wars were already standing up, making you curse under your breath. Finally spotting them in the far corner of the room, you walk over.

“Arden, we need to leave.”

“What? Why? Impa gave orders to leave at dawn-”

“You don’t know them like I do, Arden. They’re fucking unpredictable, their going to kill everyone here if we don’t move now.”

“Who is?” Wars asks, a few feet behind you. You jump slightly from the unexpected presence, recomposing yourself quickly.

“No one. Just nightly patrol.”

Arden gives you the look, which you just glare at him. Now was not the time to invite new recruits.

“We could use their help, Link.”

“No, we couldn’t. They’re staying here.”

Wars scoffs, settling a hand on his hip, “Says who?”

You look him dead in the eye, already tired of rambling with everyone. You throw up your arms in defeat, wanting to get this over with.

“Fine, fine. You lot can come but you follow my lead, got it? I don’t want any casualties tonight.”

He nods, satisfied with your answer. He relays it to the others, some of them looking less passionate than others, but agreed upon nonetheless. 

Turning back to Arden, you mutter “Meet me at my place in half an hour, we leave in an hour. Finish up here and get whatever you need, I’ll make sure the others are equipped and ready.”

He nods, the others agreeing alongside him. The plan was set.

You start speed-walking towards the entrance, not waiting around for the men to follow you. You had shit you needed to get done.

ᨒ↟ ⋆｡°

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a bit of a personal question, so if you don’t want to answer this, I completely understand!! no hard feelings at all! long story short, I’m demisexual, and I just entered my first real relationship. My girlfriend lights me up inside in a way I’ve never experienced before, but being demi I have no sexual or romantic experience and I’m a little stressed about First Times. Do you have any tips on how to relax? Or at least how to be comfortable with that unfamiliar territory? Your little tidbits about your relationship with B really opened my eyes to my own situation, so I thought I’d maybe see if you had any tips for me. Thanks in advance!!

First: Congratulations! That's super exciting!

Second:

Talk 👏 to 👏 her👏 (!!!)

My partner and I talked A LOT before even the slightest hanky-ing of panky-ing occurred. (In fact, our first conversation about it consisted of me telling him I likely would not enjoy sex and wasn't willing to submit myself to things I did not enjoy anymore and him being like, "ok, no sex, then." Which gave me the time and inclination to feel things out further.) So, when I got to a place where I was like, "ok, conceptually, I do actually like the idea of physical intimacy with you, I'm just not sure I'll enjoy it in practice," we kept talking! I told him things I thought he should know about the past experiences I'd had that might color things we did. I told him about how anxious I was because this mattered in a way that was new and scary (because I was in real actual love and, as you might imagine, not handling it well). I let him ask questions and we made a plan to try things slowly in a low-stress, no-expectations kind of way. It was super valuable A. in making me feel like we were approaching an unfamiliar territory together rather than me entering it by myself and B. it apparently eased a lot of my partner's concern that he'd do something to hurt or scare me when he knew what was off-limits, what was ok, and what we'd need to figure out.

I'll be real with you. Our "first time" sucked. I was a nervous wreck. He called things only shortly after they'd started and was like, nope, time to cuddle and watch a movie instead. And the fact that we'd talked about this probably happening, and him confirming the initial promises he'd made that he wouldn't push me, and he wouldn't get mad if nothing sexual actually happened--that made me a lot less nervous during the next attempt. And each time was an improvement until things were, you know, better than I ever could have imagined. Fireworks. Rainbows. The whole 9 yards. It just took a lot of talking to get there.

Also, people seem to think that talking about sex-- test results, dislikes, preferences––is somehow not sexy. But I found it to be the opposite. 1. I love planning things. So knowing what "the plan" is ahead of time is very nice. 2. Talking about an action before trying it out can be... titillating. Let's say.

Anyway. Communicate! If she's as awesome as she sounds, she'll be honored and pleased to tackle the situation with you rather than being a part of the thing that's giving you anxiety.

[aswaki]

mile high club privilege [smt x reader]

seok matthew x reader | 1.8k word count | explicit (minors dni)

“a flight attendant gets fucked at the airplane's bathroom”

contains: fem!reader, stewardess/flight attendant!reader, dom!matthew, unprotected sex, (airplane) bathroom sex, breath play (gagging), backshots, sir kink, slight strength kink, first meeting sex/strangers theme, mention of blow job & cunnilingus, pet names ("baby", "good girl")

“did you mean it when you said ‘anything’?”

you turned around to see it was the man from the business class. he was attractive. he smiled at you charmingly that you clearly missed the mischievous glint his eyes held.

“yes, sir. it is my job to ensure your flight is as relaxing and pleasurable as possible.” you told him with a slight nod of your head.

he hummed in acknowledgement. while the stranger was hot, you had a job to do. you continued walking down the aisle to head to your station. as you went, you made sure the passengers were okay by checking in and giving professional greetings.

footsteps behind you could be heard. was he following you? you inhaled to keep your irritation at bay before facing him again. you were taught how to deal with vexing travelers.

“sir, i suggest you head back to your seat. you can’t stro-”

“ah, i actually need to go to the toilet. can you lead the way there, please?” he cut you off. he said that while slightly leaning forward towards you. his voice was oh so innocent that it made you none the wiser. you were completely missing what his intention was with you.

“apologies,” you started.

‘bathroom, of course, where else would he go? stress was probably clouding your judgement,’ you concluded in your mind.

this was your third international flight consecutively so exhaustion must be catching up to you. you just hoped you wouldn’t get a complaint for appearing rude but the stranger seemed nice.

“sure, sir. i’d be happy to assist you. follow me,” you continued, hiding your embarrassment well.

his soft brown eyes locked into yours before drifting down. he was appreciating how your uniform fit you like a glove. no curve left hidden in your two piece ensemble. you even had a little scarf tied around your neck. cute.

and he followed you like you suggested. you lead the way while his gaze was trained on your ass.

once reaching your destination, you opened your mouth to bid farewell. before you could, he pulled you inside the toilet with him. though not by much, international planes had larger toilets so you were both able to fit inside. not comfortably, but you could make do.

he backed you to the bathroom wall.

“anything, right?” he reminded you before smirking. without any precedent, he crashed his lips onto yours.

this stranger kissed like he was devouring you. he had the intensity of a man in hunger. when you gasped in disbelief, it made it easier for him to slip his tongue inside your mouth.

disbelief be damned, though; you melted into him, needing no prompting to follow his lead. he wasn’t the only one who was hungry. your tongue glided along his, not fighting for dominance but dancing with him. this was going to give you some relief.

everything he said up to this point occurred to you that he was flirting. you were so out of it. you weren’t even sure when your hands found its way to be tangled in his hair or when his hand found its way to be underneath your panties, fingers finding your wet cunt and also putting pressure on your throbbing clit. your eyes instinctively fluttered shut as he played with your clit. the ecstasy that hit you made your toes curl in your shoes. he knew how to work you to your arousal.

“so, how does one get a membership at the mile high club?” he asked, breaking off your kiss. a string of saliva connected your mouths. his free hand went to tug the scarf around your neck. this little action had you feeling crazy. you wished he would pull it tighter to choke you.

“it’s simple, sir.” you said, suddenly bolder. your eyes heavy lidded. the confidence in your voice made him raise his brows in surprise. he dared himself not to groan out loud. instead, he rubbed on your clit a little bit rougher which made you hold on to his shoulders. his muscles tensed under your touch. you relished that feeling.

calling him sir almost had him cumming. 

digging your finger in his shoulders, you shakily stood on your tiptoes to whisper seductively in his ear, “just get me to orgasm.”

taking that as a challenge, he twisted your bodies so he could push you to the counter. he bent you over there without warning. your stomach pressed onto the edge of the sink.

“s- sir,” you weren’t stingy with the moans you let out. he watched your beautiful face contort intently through the mirror above the sink countertop.

“shh, baby. not so loud.” he cooed while running his hands from your clothed ass to your thighs. he then put your scarf to good use. he unraveled it before stuffing it in your mouth.

“we don’t want to be caught.” he explained as he tied the ends of the scarf behind your head.

“yes, sir,” you mumbled through the makeshift gag. as he tightened the scarf, you thought about the consequences you would get if you were caught fucking with a passenger. you were so lost in your arousal that these thoughts flew out your mind as soon as it entered, however.

you cannot stop this. you were trained to serve. your body moved on its own having a different master to listen to.

the sound of a belt unbuckling could be heard. a deep pool of excitement brewed inside of you as you listened to the stranger pull his pants and boxers down his legs. his fingers hastily unzipped your skirt, making it fall. your panties and stockings soon followed the clothes bundling on the ground.

you extended your legs open for him so he can have easier access to you. still, he smacked your ass and spread your ass cheeks a bit wider. there was a sting that stayed on your ass from his slap which made whimpers bubble out of you.

he rubbed his erection against you. you could feel he was big. you wondered if you could handle him. he coated his cock with your arousal before lining himself up to your entrance. the buttons on your uniform blouse dug painfully itself to your stomach.

“be my good girl and take it, yeah?” his voice became low. how he said those words made your skin prickle with goosebumps.

you moaned as he entered you. his girth stretching you out. he didn’t waste a second to thrust in you harshly. you both knew you had occupied the bathroom long enough. someone was bound to come looking for either of you.

tears gathered in your eyes as he pounded in you, chasing your pleasures as fast as possible. it didn't help you were gagged at the mouth. you tried gasping for air, feeling a little light-headed as he gave it his all. the tip of his cock hitting your cervix with every hard thrust he did.

he lifted your head by grabbing your hair, “look at you being a mess, baby. you like being used?”

maybe you did like being used. in the deepest part of you, it was almost like you knew your body found pleasure in letting go and submitting. your enjoyment in being gagged was a testament to it.

in the mirror, you could see how your usually sleek hair was now untidy. your eyes were watery but the mascara was still intact. thank god for waterproof make up. though, your red lipstick was smudged. it was even on the face of this handsome stranger.

you checked him out as he thrusts in you, losing almost control over himself. he had a strong defined nose and jawline. his biceps strained against the sleeve of his shirt. his one hand holding your head steady so you could face the mirror.

his jawline clenched as he slammed his cock to you like a wild animal. you engulfed every little bit of him around your damp cunt walls. the breaths coming from the two of you, ragged and heavy. the clapping from behind were louder than your pants for air.

“holy shit,” he groaned through gritted teeth when you clenched around him. he can feel you were about to cum (and so was he). his cock pulsed while the familiar feeling of an oncoming climax built inside him.

“let’s cum together, baby.”

as if his words gave you permission to, you climaxed along with him. your sounds were being muffled by the scarf in your mouth. he wished he could hear your pretty moans.

his cock was being squeezed by your muscles as if you were milking him. the feeling of his warmth flooded your inner walls triggered more of your orgasm. your fluids mixed with one another. the both of you defiling the cramped space.

this was by far the most exciting thing that happened to you while on the job. it awoke your spirit. this was a different type of exhaustion that washed over you. it was a sinful kind that you found delectable. your body shook but his arm came to clutch around your torso to pull you up against his chest. his strength saving you both.

you writhed in his grip as you both rode out your orgasms. his arm took great pleasure in holding you. he held you as close to himself as possible.

when you went limp, he undid the scarf in your mouth. it joined to the pile by your feet.

you took a large breath, inhaling as much as you could after being gagged. your voice sounded hoarse from unuse as you told him, “it’s my pleasure to welcome you to the mile high club, sir.”

“i hope you enjoyed your flight at in bloom airlines, gentlemen!” you told a group of nine men as they approached near the door. your perfectly lined red lips gave them a grin. customer service was your specialty.

they all replied to you various forms of thanks for the flight's smooth travel and your service. you locked eyes with the one who you got more acquainted than the rest. the one you snuck off to the toilet too many times for the span of your flight.

you entertained yourselves with your bodies. an exclusive amenity just for him. a mile high club privilege. anything he wanted— backshots, blow jobs, cunnilingus —you did all that but you didn't even get his name. he was just ‘sir’.

another kind of smile suddenly threatened to break out of your face; one that held a secret behind it.

he sent you a wink, “best i ever had.”

a/n: inspired by zb1 traveling to hong kong for kcon!!! i hope you enjoyed reading this. i didn't get much fics as i wanted to last week so i hope i can post more for this one but i think i might get busier. not sure, though! i do enjoy being here— writing and interacting. thank you for sticking by and reading through!

divider credit: saradika-graphics

[scribescrawls]

Tarnma Body Swap AU canon divergence would be so funny to me. I’m imagining this is before their blackmail deal reached the point where Pharma started killing patients. But just imagine one day they wake up in each other’s body and neither knows wtf happened but it occurs at the most unfortunate timing. Like Tarn and the DJD just caught someone on the List and are about to torture the bot and they expect Tarn to be there taking the lead. Meanwhile, Pharma has a surgery scheduled that cannot be missed cause it’s time sensitive for the patient and it’s a three person job so he can’t just make an excuse and have Ambulon or First Aid handle it on their own. After they private comm each other minutes before they have to leave to do their respective jobs (and got past accusing each other of causing this before realizing neither of them knows what’s going on), they realize that they both could mutually destroy each other/their team in each other's body so they’ve agreed to a temporary truce until they can meet up to undo whatever caused this. So for the rest of the day they have to pretend to be each other until they can meet up and try to figure out what the frag happened.

Tarnma after agreeing to just get through this day as painlessly as possible:

Tarn: Just torture the bot a bit then let the rest of the team have some fun and if your hesitation to kill is going to blow your cover you can play it off as giving the honor to one of the team. Kaon did pretty well today I’d recommend choosing him. But you can’t just half-aft the torture or they’ll know something is wrong! You have to give it your all!

Pharma: Fine! But if I find out you purposely let the patient die trust me I’ll know! And so will Ambulon and First Aid. This is a standard procedure for me and I could do it half asleep. Just tell Ambulon and First Aid that you’re testing them and want them to learn taking the lead on a more difficult procedure. Just let them know you're going to pretend to be a beginner nurse to test their skills taking charge and any mistakes you make will be chalked up to a test of their awareness.

Tarn: I’ve never done a surgery in my life! You’re setting me up for an impossible situation!

Pharma, bitingly: Well you’d know all about setting people up in impossible situations wouldn’t you? Not so fun from the other side is it?

Tarn: Do not test me!

Pharma: Look, you’ll be assisting more than leading the surgery, it’ll be fine! Just follow whatever Ambulon or First Aid tells you to do. The key to a successful surgery is not to panic and stay calm during the procedure.

Tarn: Don't panic and stay calm. Got it. And it was the blue wire near the spark chamber that I'm not supposed to cut under any circumstances?

Pharma: THE RED WIRE!

Tarn: There's no need to shout!

Pharma, internally: There is a 60% chance this patient is a goner.

Ambulon and First Aid: Do we have to be listening to classical music while we do this surgery?

Tarn, in Pharma's body: Yes. And if any of you turn it off I'll cut off your hands (The music is the only thing keeping him calm and from a full panic attack)

Ambulon and First Aid thinking "Pharma" is being a bit moodier than usual today. Miraculously, the patient makes it with only a few close calls. Tarn is definitely thinking this is one of the most stressful 3 hours of his life by the end of it.

Meanwhile, Pharma who has never half-assed anything in his life and is an overachiever probably feeling very conflicted about hurting others over healing them but also conflicted about the fact that he's actually really good at this whole torture thing. Like the rest of the DJD are like "wow Tarn you really prepared for this one. I didn't even know Cybertronian bodies could react like that? That looks extremely painful, but also 10/10 creative manipulation of Cybertronian anatomy to maximize pain".

Other silly body swap shenanigans is that they are totally not used to being in each other's frame. Pharma has no idea how to use or control Tarn's outlier ability and accidently renders a chunk of the ship's tech inoperable, while Tarn is so not used to having thrusters on his feet never having a flight frame before and accidently activates them and flies into a wall lol

[vacantgodling]

tl;dr i need help paying rent and health insurance this month. with the money from my recent paycheck, all i need is $263 (usd) to cover these expenses.

i hate to ask for money all the time but idk what else to do.

this month (august) was supposed to be great for getting my finances in order. i would be getting paid 3x, and i had a system that worked.

unfortunately things didn’t work out that way. this month has been the worst month this entire year:

the main issue is i caught covid (after 4 years of never having it once, i succumbed to people’s uselessness and having to go in person to work) and that kept me out of work for a week. the mini vacation was “nice” because my symptoms weren’t too bad, but the looming fear that i wouldn’t have enough for rent has now reared its head.

the week before, i already took 2 days off because my partner was informed their abusive father had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and that sent them spiraling. he hasn’t kicked the bucket yet (ig cockroaches don’t die easily), but from what they said that week they thought he would pass by that sunday.

this past wednesday, the stress of their not so great extended family reaching out + grappling with this ended up with my partner having to go to the hospital for (tw) excessive vomiting—unable to keep water down and extremely dizzy. we were discharged that night thankfully once things calmed down and they are technically fine, just still resting and trying to slowly get back to eating normally. the drs weren’t able to determine what caused any of that to occur, but our current theory is just stress and not eating enough so stomach rebellion. i had to miss 4 hours of work to take them to the hospital so, my next paycheck is also gonna be short but not too terrible overall. i’m not really worried about it.

i don’t want to bore you all to death with all the details of all my other debts and struggles that i’m dealing with rn. i just want to illustrate how this week just fucked me over really badly. i’m currently the only one working between us bc my partner is disabled (and got denied disability for them last week so cool cool. love this country love it here).

and if it helps you feel more inclined to donate to me i’m black, queer, and transmasculine. marginalization bingo etc etc.

if you can’t spare anything i understand, i know we’re all broke and struggling and there’s other causes that are definitely more pressing. this isn’t a matter of life and death. just would really help to not have to get screwed over by this.

i offer commissions so if you wanna check my ko-fi -> https://ko-fi.com/vacantgodling/commissions

(just know there’s a small of a list rn, i haven’t been drawing as much as i need to for the commissions i do currently have and i’m sorry for that i’ve just been stressed out. thanks to everyone who’s ordered for their patience i’ll be getting to stuff as soon as i can)

but if you’d like to just donate to my paypal -> https://www.paypal.me/pinkpurgatory

if you don’t have anything to spare (which again, totally fine) please spread this around if you can i’d appreciate it.

thanks for reading and i hope you have a good day 💛

[nerdishpursuits]

Okay, this post is all over the place. Meaning it's a collection of thoughts that span over the last couple of weeks. Simply jotting things down as I watched and as they occurred to me. So, ye be warned. Here be a case of the verbose. It never ceases to baffle me, truly, how even the best content can trigger malcontent. And when it comes to this show the best example remains Twitter: the poster app for a flaming dumpster fire. Why people don’t just migrate over to BlueSky is just as dumbfounding. Oh well. Muting and blocking certainly helps curate the experience.

By all means, shall we vent (a little?)

1. Apparently Marta and Fina are too cringe-worthy in their dialogue now, as no one in real life would ever talk to their partner that way. Do I agree with this assessment? Most certainly not.

If anything, I find such scenes supremely satisfying. They reinforce the depth of their love and commitment to each other and manage to, somehow, always sound like wedding vows. At this point, honestly, I’d take this kind of scene over the more explicit ones reserved for the family values crowd. I prefer it because those other couples lack this in-depth emotional journey that we’re being treated to with Mafin.

The way Fina adores and cherishes Marta, how she supports her unconditionally. The reverence Marta holds for Fina, how she sees in her the embodiment of peace, of home, of love, of all that is well and good in the world. They are strong on their own, but together? Together they are invincible.

To me it’s obvious you can only have this kind of relationship with your partner if your level of comfort and trust in each other is absolute (nudge nudge wink wink @midniteowlet) And this is how Marta and Fina come across to me: beautifully at ease in each other’s presence, wonderfully supportive of one another, always nurturing and speaking a language of their own. A language of the heart that's intrinsically theirs.

So when they hold each other and confess their love in such a pure, unadulterated way, holding nothing back and simply allowing themselves to speak their truth? It’s a thing of beauty.

You are my example, Marta, my inspiration. You are the staff upon which I lean, whenever I feel myself fading. You are like a bird in flight, battered by the winds that try to bring you down. But always, always you soar again

You are a water lily, for the dirtier the water, the more beautiful the flower grows, so elegant, so serene

You are my strength. I need your embraces, your kisses. To rest in your arms, if only for a few hours, for they are the only place I find solace

To me these kind of dialogues and confessions never feel saccharine. It’s an expression of longing and love, of trust and admiration. And they stay true to the essence of a relationship between two women, where such displays of emotional and psychological authenticity take center stage.

And then we get a kiss. How nuanced the meeting of their lips. For Marta, the profound need to drink from this love that soothes her, cradles her, embraces her, ignites her and brings light and joy to an ever increasing darkness. For Fina, the selfless surrender, the ardent devotion, the intense admiration and the purest love. Theirs is a kiss that heals. A kiss that is home.

Bonus. Fina defending Marta against anyone who dares question her integrity and feeling so protective of her wife who often carries the weight of her family on her shoulders.

2. Optical delusions during the Marta & Pelayo scenes? Mind boggling. Personally, I'm quite enjoying them. I mean ... Fina's gentle touch has rubbed off on Marta 😌

3. Marta sarcastically saying she'll have to meet her future mother in law? Apparently not sitting well with some people. Sarcasm and irony have always been Marta's way of dealing with stressful situations. She's always been shown to awkwardly crack a joke, especially when things feel overwhelming and depressing. Seeing anything else in that? Claiming that she was all happy at the prospect of meeting that woman? Way off mark, imho. Marta and Fina are trying to make the best of an unpleasant reality. They have accepted this is the path they need to walk, but they also admit it's a painful one. I wish people would stop seeing things that aren't there. Considering they've done nothing but reinforce how much Marta & Fina are married to each other? Maybe one day it'll resonate that Marta's marriage to Pelayo is solely for convenience and something to, hopefully, offer protection.

Will they suffer because of it? Yes. Will they be dealing with the contraptions of a marriage, even though it's a fake one? Yes. Will their time be cut short, leaving them desperate to interact with each other? Also yes. In theory, this marriage will solve x and y. In practice, it will bring a host of problems they've not dealt with before: Pelayo's political career will place them under a microscope, Marta will be expected to play the dutiful wife in public, Fina will again feel like the odd one out (even though she is the sole reason Marta agreed to remarry). The world they want to fence out is very much pressing in, invading a space they want to call their own. The world will always demand its pound of flesh. But as long as they hold steady, hold fast and hold onto each other? They can make it work.

On to greener pastures.

Marta wanting to help Gema because she understands her need and desire to work, to feel useful and in control of ones life? I really loved their scene together and I don't think they've ever had a tête-à-tête before. I also love the fact that Gema doesn't aim for a position where she'd be in charge and doesn't shy away from hard work. I think that speaks well of her character. That being said? While I love Marta interceding for Gema with Joaquin, once again proving that her generosity and kindness knows no bounds? I do worry abut one thing with Gema: she's made of gossip. She'll be poking her nose into everyone's business, soon learning that Marta & Fina are together and who knows what she'll do with that information. To be frank, I'd been hoping Gema becomes the store overseer and robs Carmen of her position. That would have made for good drama and would have served as another lesson for Tasio, given he was loudly proclaiming he voted against Marta to secure Carmen's position. We shall see what this move holds in store and if Fina warms up to her. Gema is not a bad person. Let's trust she'll make the right choice. At least we got some peak comedy from the scene between Gema, Claudia & Fina.

Speaking of. Marta is too kind. Too kind to Andres, to Joaquin, to Tasio. However, in the long run she stands to win more if she's gracious and understanding. Hatred never leads anywhere good and Marta? Marta simply isn't made that way.

Still? Team Fina here. Fina and her perpetual hatred of anyone who hurts Marta. True to her feisty nature, Fina's there, representing, staring daggers into traitors. She's strong enough to hate them all, for the both of them. Forza, Fina!!!

Honestly though, I'd dearly love a scene where these a-holes apologize to Marta. But, hey. She's smarter than I am. Picking her battles and all that. Certainly not worth it to rage against the windmills. Better to sit it out and bide her time. Her moment will come again.

I suppose it just irks me somewhat when certain plot-points, that carry weight, seem to fall to the wayside. Or do they? Time will tell.

Curious about Irene. I suspect, long-term, she'll be against her brother. It would seem she does not approve of his methods.

Best thing about the Andres drama? Not seeing Andres. I guess Marta lost the directorship so she could play detective in his case. Too bad he's back now and comes up with brilliant ideas like the families rotating leadership every 6 months. The one great thing about Marta not being in charge was Joaquin having to struggle with the damn bathhouse on his own. Remains to be seen if anything comes of that. I'm not much of a business mind but this suggestion seems off to me. It can only work if there is trust and a willingness to cooperate. Given all the bad blood between these families right now? Maybe it's not such a good idea. Curious if they'll take this idea and run with it. Oh, well. Some Mafin goodness today. A sprinkle of sour'n'sweet, a pinch of shared concerns, a dash of comfort and some good ol' domestic ribbing.

[kallie-den]

Lifestyle Takeover Ch. 3

Now that Vivienne has fallen under Mel's sway, she instructs Emma to take the high-powered CEO for a very particular makeover...

This is a commission from Neana, and a sequel to Lifestyle Journalism! Previous chapters can be found under the same tag

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—

At first, Vivienne was entirely quiet and calm. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so utterly at peace with herself. Normally, her entire life felt like a battle. There were endless pressures, buzzing around her like flies. Not now. She was perfectly still. Perfectly relaxed. Vivienne was conscious of nothing but a gentle, rhythmic purr she could feel throughout her entire body. It seemed to be coming from beneath her.

Then came a noise so loud, urgent, and uncomfortably familiar, it pierced through her calm and dragged Vivienne unwillingly back to awareness.

It took her a long moment to remember that the sound was her phone ringing.

The ringing ceased, but it was too late. Vivienne blearily opened her eyes and, after the blurry haze resolved into a set of distinct images, realized she was sitting in the back of a limo. Somehow, at first, it didn’t occur to Vivienne to question that. It simply seemed right.

“Oh look! She’s, like, waking up.”

“So she is. Welcome back, sleepyhead.”

Vivienne looked up and saw Melanie Adams sitting opposite her. She blinked. She looked to one side and saw Emma sitting next to her, in all her pink, bimbo glory. She blinked again, then blushed.

Emma. It was really her. It hadn’t all been a dream.

Vivienne’s embarrassingly eager adoration for the bimbo hadn’t been diminished by their meeting. If anything, she was more starstruck than ever. The CEO sat up straight and tried to hide her blush by rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“I apologize,” she said blearily, hoping to recapture a little dignity. “I must have… well, I suppose I’ve been putting in some long hours lately.”

“I understand,” Mel replied, offering a sympathetic smile.

Vivienne nodded gratefully, then looked out of the window. She frowned as the realities of the situation began to set in.

“Where are we going?” she asked. She had no memory of getting in a car or agreeing to anything.

“We’re going shopping!” Emma squealed gleefully. “We’re gonna get you, like, a whole bunch of new outfits.”

“That’s right,” Mel added, a strange look in her eyes. “You remember, don’t you?”

Suddenly, she did. As Mel spoke, the memory was lifted out of the heavy fog that seemed to surround Vivienne’s mind. Remembering that, though, only prompted more questions.

“Right,” she agreed slowly. “But… why?”

Mel’s smile was beginning to look faintly condescending. “We were talking about how stressed and overworked you are. About how you need to make some changes and learn to relax. And since we’re friends, we decided I’d help you out by taking you shopping. Remember?”

Vivienne nodded. It was all coming back to her now, and it was just as Mel said. “Right,” she repeated, rubbing her head. “Goodness. I really must be tired.”

“Don’t worry,” Mel told her. “We can fix that.”

As they spoke, another memory was coming back to Vivienne. This one, unprompted, was far less concrete. It was a mere impression, accompanied by a faint, inexplicable sense of loss. Guided by it, Vivienne found herself reaching up toward the pocket in which she normally wore her pocket watch.

It was gone.

“Looking for this?” Mel asked.

Vivienne looked up and, to her shock, saw that Mel was holding her most prized possession, the very symbol of her prowess as a mind controller, dangling between her fingers.

Vivienne frowned deeply. Mel having it seemed right, somehow, but she couldn’t remember why. That troubled her.

“Why do you have that?” she asked warily. Perhaps something was afoot. Some kind of plot to entrap her and weaken her mind.

“Don’t you remember?” Mel replied. “Whoever’s holding this is in charge. That’s how it works, isn’t it? And since I’m the one who’s taking you out shopping, I’m in charge. That means I hold the pocket watch. Isn’t that right?”

“Oh.” Vivienne steadily relaxed. “Right.”

It was all coming back to her now.

“I can’t believe I forgot my own rules like that,” she apologized again. “I just can’t seem to get my head off my pillow today.”

Mel threw a grin at Emma. Her pet bimbo was giggling helplessly. Vivienne couldn’t imagine at what.

“That’s perfectly OK,” Mel assured her. “Just as long as you’re clear on how this all works.” She gestured to the pocket watch again.

“Of course,” Vivienne promised. “You’ve got the watch. You’re in charge.”

Before Vivienne could figure out why that was bothering her so much, her phone started ringing again. Reflexively, Vivienne slipped the phone out of her pocket and made to answer it.

“Stop,” Mel instructed sharply.

Vivienne froze. She flashed Mel a dissatisfied look.

“Don’t answer it,” Mel told her. “You’re not doing any work today. This shopping trip is all about relaxing and having fun with a makeover. No business.”

Vivienne couldn’t help but feel uneasy with that. Her phone was still ringing. She looked down at the caller ID. It was work, of course. Her CFO was calling.

“It could be important,” she protested.

“They can manage without you for one day,” Mel retorted. “But you? You desperately need to blow off some steam, Vivienne. Don’t answer.”

For a long moment, Vivienne languished in indecision. It was true that, probably, her people could cope. Vivienne couldn’t imagine that anything disastrous was happening. But equally, as CEO, her sign-off was needed on all kinds of decisions, and her leadership style ensured that none of her underlings would be willing to move forward on anything without her. By not taking this phone call, Vivienne was likely causing her company a serious headache. It was in opposition to her entire long-held personal and professional ethos.

But Mel had the pocket watch. She was in charge. That was the rule.

“Fine,” Vivienne acceded. She declined the call.

Listening to Mel felt strange. It didn’t sit quite right with Vivienne. After all, Mel was her rival. Vivienne despised what she represented. She was still determined to hypnotize Mel and break her to her will - eventually. But for now, Vivienne had to follow the rules. As scrambled as her memory was, she could at least remember that much.

But it was more than just that. Vivienne was surprised to find that she was taking a strange comfort in following Mel’s orders. It was a novel experience, she supposed. A welcome break from having to decide everything for herself. She glanced across at Emma, giggling happily again. Was this how she felt all the time? Every day? Vivienne wasn’t sure what to make of the fact that she felt much, much more envy than she did contempt.

Maybe her plans could afford to take a back seat. Maybe letting Mel take the lead for just one day wasn’t so bad.

“Wow!” Emma exclaimed at Mel through her giggles. “Oh my god, that thing, like, totally worked, huh?”

Mel couldn’t suppress a grin of her own as she looked back at her girlfriend. “It really did.”

“What did?” Vivienne asked irritably. Mel was in charge, yes, but that didn’t mean Vivienne liked being talked around.

“Nothing,” Mel swiftly assured her. She glanced at the cell phone Vivienne was still holding. “Actually, Vivienne, you should turn that off before it rings again.”

Vivienne pulled a face. The thought of being out of touch filled her with anxiety. She’d already missed half a dozen calls. There was something exciting about it too, though. Like she was a child again, skipping class.

Not that how she felt really mattered. Not while Mel had the pocket watch.

“Very well,” she agreed. Vivienne switched her phone off and tucked it back in her pocket.

“Good.” Mel’s grin widened. “Look, we’re here.”

Right on cue, the limo pulled over to park. Looking out the window, Vivienne could see that they had driven to the city’s high-end shopping district. The kind of place only elite hypnogarchs and their most favored servants could afford to shop. Vivienne had been there once or twice, although mostly she relied on her brainwashed assistants to do her shopping for her. She simply didn’t have the time.

As they stepped out of the car, Mel checked her own phone before turning to Emma and Vivienne. “I hate to bring down the mood, but it looks like I actually have a couple of calls I need to take,” she said. “My mothers. Work stuff. Emma, why don’t you take Vivienne around?”

“Oh-em-gee!” Emma squealed, while Vivienne blinked in surprise. “Really? I can pick out her stuff?”

“Of course,” Mel replied indulgently. “It’ll be a nice treat - for both of you. Besides, I’m sure Vivienne is just dying for the two of you to get a little one-on-one time.”

Vivienne’s heart skipped a beat. The way Mel said that was alarming. It was almost as if she knew. But no. No, that was impossible.

“Well, yes, I’m sure it’ll be lovely to… to get to know one another,” Vivienne replied lamely, fighting to keep her face neutral. Emma giggled some more.

“Yeah!” the bimbo exclaimed. Without warning, she locked arms with Vivienne. “We’ll be, like, besties in no time.”

Vivienne could have fainted from sheer, starstruck joy.

“Oh, before you get going,” Mel added, “Emma, you’d better take this.”

A distinct shiver raced down Vivienne’s spine as she watched Mel hand Vivienne’s pocket watch over to Emma.

Emma was in charge now.

Vivienne could certainly think of worse things than that. It was like a fantasy come to life.

“Come on!” Emma cried out, already tugging at Vivienne’s arm. “Let’s get going! We’ve got soooo much shopping to do.”

It was like being caught in a whirlwind. Pocket watch and rules notwithstanding, Vivienne was powerless to keep herself from being unceremoniously dragged around the shopping district. Emma’s giddy, gleeful, irrepressible energy was impossible to resist. Vivienne found herself breathing hard as Emma pulled her at a jog from one store to the next, from aisle to aisle, gushing over different items of clothing. Suddenly, she had a new thing to envy Emma for: her fitness. Thanks to all that exercise, Emma seemed to have endless breath to spare for gushing over different clothes and how they might look on Vivienne. It was all Vivienne could do to nod agreeably and try to keep her head from spinning.

But there was one thing she couldn’t help noticing: all the clothes Emma insisted on looking at and buying were pink.

“I… I’m just not sure this is really my color,” Vivienne offered diplomatically, as Emma held something up against her body for inspection. She truly hated disagreeing with her idol, but she felt she had to say something.

“Yes, it is!” Emma replied, somewhat indignantly, and with such force Vivienne couldn’t bring herself to argue back. “Pink is the best. It’s everyone’s color. Duh.”

With the matter settled, Emma marched Vivienne over to the cashier to pay for a set of new sports bras and a couple of pairs of leggings - all bright pink. All the clothes they bought - lingerie, workout clothes, a few casual outfits - were so garish and so revealing that Vivienne could never have seen herself wearing them. But she quickly found she didn’t regret any of the purchases. Quite the opposite. Emma’s joy for all things pink was proving truly infectious. The more they shopped, the more Vivienne could sense her own feelings softening.

She couldn’t help it. Emma loved pink, and Vivienne wanted to be like Emma.

It was impossible not to. She had everything Vivienne didn’t. She was joyful, carefree, and completely unselfconscious in her happiness. More and more, Vivienne found herself dwelling on the strange envy and longing she felt toward the bimbo. Maybe Emma and Mel were right. Maybe a makeover was exactly what she needed. A few lifestyle changes to bring everything into balance.

All so she could keep pursuing her corporate ambitions, of course. Eventually.

Besides those deeper ruminations, there was, of course, a much simpler form of pleasure to be taken in their little shopping expedition: Vivienne was Emma’s biggest fan, and she was having her favorite bimbo porn star of all time pick out clothes for her.

It was a dream come true.

Slowly but surely, Vivienne started leaning into it. She joined her voice to Emma’s as they squealed over cute outfits. She started suggesting things for herself - always pink, of course. It was fun. More fun than she’d expected. And Emma seemed so pleased with her whenever she did. Soon enough, the two of them were like peas in a pod, giggling over cute clothes and the flashy new outfits they were putting together. Vivienne was having the time of her life - even if Emma did keep pushing at her boundaries of modesty a little.

“Are… you sure?” Vivienne asked gingerly, indicating a pink pencil skirt Emma had picked out that was far, far too short to be deserving of the name. “There’s got to be a longer one around here somewhere.”

She knew Emma was keen for her to have it, and so she half-expected the bimbo to reach for the pocket watch and assert her authority. Instead, Emma simply leaned in close and fixed her with the most devastating puppy-eyes stare Vivienne had ever seen.

“Aw, c’mon!” Emma pleaded. “Don’t you, like, think it’ll look good?”

“I…” Already, Vivienne could feel herself melting.

“It’s just soooo perfect.” Emma’s eyes were practically glistening. “Please?”

“F-fine,” Vivienne found herself saying. She was helpless to resist Emma.

“Yay!” Emma brightened at once, before marching off towards the cashier.

It always played out that way, no matter how risqué the item. Lacy thongs, slutty bras, ridiculous heels - in the end, Vivienne fell prey to them all. It was a strange feeling. Usually, Vivienne always got her way. She was a CEO. A leader. A hypnogarch. Someone who’d clawed her way up from ignominy. She wasn’t used to being such a pushover. Yielding to Emma’s will just felt so easy. So natural. Whenever she tried to muster an objection to the kinds of clothes the bimbo was picking out, her head turned foggy and hazy, and the right words simply wouldn’t come. Simultaneously, the temptation to giggle and smile and just say ‘yes’ grew and grew.

Now and then, as they shopped, Vivienne wondered if she should be worried about the fact that she felt so hazy, or that she was proving to be so weak-willed. But each time she decided - no. It was just a harmless shopping trip. Nothing more.

Besides, Emma had Vivienne’s pocket watch, and that meant she was in charge - and that was Vivienne’s own rule! How could anything be amiss?

Eventually, after what seemed like hours, once Vivienne’s arms were aching from the now-huge shopping bags she was carrying around, Emma led her to the changing room of a particularly up-market boutique. It was the kind of place where the changing room really was a room of its own, with luxurious couches and soft, flattering lighting, and where the staff would bring glasses of champagne on request.

“Finally,” Vivienne sighed, slumping onto one of the couches. “I could use a moment to catch my breath.”

“Nope!” Emma admonished, still a wellspring of excitement. “No time! Cause it’s time to, like, try on some of these adorable outfits.”

Vivienne groaned, but good-naturedly. Emma truly was irresistible. Vivienne hauled herself back to her feet and, as Emma indicated, stepped up to the mirror.

“Oh, yeah,” Emma giggled. “This is gonna be soooo much better.”

A shiver of anticipation raced down Vivienne’s spine, and the CEO giggled nervously.

“Right!” Emma exclaimed, before scrunching up her face like she was struggling to concentrate. “How was I supposed to do it… um… Vivienne, you should just, like, stand there and let me undress you, m’kay?”

“Oh!” Vivienne blushed a little. “Um. OK.”

“And… let’s see…” Emma had the distinct look of an actress who’d forgotten her lines. It was kind of endearing. “While I’m doing that, I want you to, like, look straight ahead at the mirror. And just, like… look at yourself. Got it?”

“Sure.” Just as Emma instructed, Vivienne turned to face the mirror and looked at her own reflection.

At once, Vivienne was struck by just how radical a departure from her typical wardrobe her new clothes were going to be. The clothes she was currently wearing were, like all her clothes, dark, formal, and classy. That morning, Vivienne had dressed herself in one of her normal work outfits: an expensive, finely-tailored, black suit jacket with matching pants, a white shirt beneath, some stylish but sensible flats, and a few pieces of designer jewelry to accentuate the look.

She looked good. Very good, in fact. Vivienne looked fashionable, wealthy, intelligent and powerful. All-in-all, it suited her perfectly - and yet, Vivienne couldn’t help but be struck by how plain and joyless her fashion now seemed compared to what Emma wore each and every day.

“So, like,” Emma began. She spoke with the air of someone who was about to launch into something they’d rehearsed. “Isn’t it funny how some people say that the stuff we wear is, like, part of our… um… our identities?”

Vivienne laughed a little at the way Emma was struggling. “I suppose so,” she agreed. “I’ve heard people say that, yes.”

“Yeah!” Emma said excitedly. “I mean, Mel always says stuff like that. But I dunno. To me, it just sounds, like, silly. What does it even mean? It’s like… like what clothes you put on makes you who you are, or something?”

Vivienne let out another laugh. She felt lucky just to be here, with her star, Emma, listening to her speak like this. Being able to bathe in her presence was just as wonderful as she could have hoped.

“How does that even work?” Emma pouted. “I mean, c’mon! Like, what, you just put some different clothes on, and suddenly you’re a whole new girl? That’s so silly!”

Her voice was especially delightful. Vivienne felt like she could listen to it forever - that lilting bimbo voice, rising at the end of every sentence, free of even the slightest hint of stress or shame. For a long time now, listening to Emma on her videos or audio recordings had been a source of comfort for Vivienne. In person, it was even more relaxing.

“But… I guess maybe I do kinda get it,” Emma reconsidered, tilting her head. “I mean, look at me! I’m a total girly ditz, and all I wear is stuff that’s pink and pretty! So that makes sense, kinda. And you? You’re like this… this serious, smart, big-time business lady! So you wear suits and stuff. It all matches.” She giggled. “Isn’t it funny when you see it like that?”

Vivienne giggled along with her. It just felt natural. She was in such a good mood. Being with Emma, like this, made her feel so light and fluffy. It helped, strangely, to know that Emma was holding her pocket watch. Emma was in charge. For some reason, that made Vivienne feel very safe.

“Still.” Emma’s brow furrowed slightly. “It’s weird to think about how, like, if that’s how it works, then when you take off your clothes, it’s like… it’s like… it’s like you’re taking off who you are. You know?”

“I’m… not sure… that’s how it works,” Vivienne replied bemusedly, and was surprised at how distant and absent her own voice sounded. It was as if, just by listening to Emma, she’d drifted off into a kind of waking sleep.

“I guess maybe not,” Emma conceded brightly. “But! You never know. Maybe it’s just, like, something for you to think about, while you’re getting changed.”

As she spoke, Emma gave a cutesy little flourish that, it just so happened, placed Vivienne’s pocket watch in the palm of her hand. Vivienne could only watch in the mirror as the bimbo fastened the watch to a gold chain necklace she plucked from her purse, and then clasped it around her neck like an amulet. With Emma wearing the symbol of authority, her words seemed to stroke Vivienne’s very soul.

“Let’s get started,” Emma announced. “Remember: just, like, stand there, and watch.”

Vivienne nodded numbly. She stood on the spot and watched herself in the mirror. Emma’s reflection was behind hers, and her eyes were drawn to the pocket watch around her neck. Its rhythmic ticking was endlessly seductive.

“First, I’ll take this off,” Emma said, reaching for the front of Vivienne’s suit jacket. She unbuttoned the front, then took hold of the collar and started to peel it away from the CEO’s shoulders. “You know, a jacket like this really sym… um… symbolizes you, right? It’s what people in, like, your position wear. Businesswomen. Leaders. Serious people. People in charge.”

Vivienne nodded again as Emma’s words worked their way through her mind. There was an undeniable, powerful truth to it. Whenever Vivienne dressed herself in the morning, putting on her suit always felt like putting on her outer layer of armor. With it, she was ready to face the world.

“But now,” Emma added, as she pulled Vivienne’s arms out of the sleeves and let the jacket fall to the ground, “it’s off!” She giggled. “No more serious business lady.”

A dizzying sense of loss took hold of Vivienne’s gut. Once, she’d been on a private jet that had run into some turbulence, and the plane had dropped a thousand feet in just seconds. It was just like that. For a brief moment, she stirred.

Then, the pocket watch caught her eye again. She noticed how, reflected in the mirror, the numerals around the face were backward. It was all the more captivating for it. Trying to read the watch was like trying to unravel a little puzzle. Somehow, it reminded her:

Emma had the watch. Emma was in charge.

No more serious business lady.

Then, just as suddenly as it had appeared, the sense of loss was gone, and Vivienne felt nothing but an incredible, blissful lightness.

But Emma was only just getting started. “Now, your pants,” she said, already unfastening them. “I think these are like… um… I don’t remember what Mel said, actually.” She giggled. “But it makes me think about that expression. Y’know? Wearing the pants? Like, being in charge.” Another giggle. “Well, um, now you’re not!”

Like she was sleepwalking, Vivienne stepped out of her pants. Once more, she felt it: the loss, then the lightness. It was quicker this time. Easier.

Maybe it was something to do with the way she’d been following Emma’s lead all day. Vivienne was completely and totally swept up in her rhythm. If either of them was wearing the pants in the relationship, it wasn’t Vivienne. And somehow, that felt natural. It was like Vivienne didn’t need to be in charge anymore.

It was such a relief.

“Next,” Emma cooed, “your shirt.” She reached around Vivienne and started to unbutton it. “It’s so… so nice. Nice and professional. Nice and modest. I guess you can, like, show a little cleavage, if you want. But besides that, you look really, um, what was the word? Dignified. Yeah. Dignified.”

Once more, Vivienne nodded. She was so relaxed. Listening to Emma was so easy.

“Let’s take that off too.” Emma giggled quietly. “Shall we?”

She slipped the shirt off of Vivienne’s body and let it fall softly to the ground.

Vivienne shivered briefly as she felt the cool air on her bare skin. She looked at herself in the mirror, losing herself to her own image. She was wearing little more than her underwear now. She was so exposed. So vulnerable. That thought brought with it a little spike of adrenaline. A certain unfamiliar thrill.

And yet, it wasn’t bad. It wasn’t unwelcome. Far from it. She sensed that here, with Emma, she didn’t need to guard herself. Didn’t need to project an image. She could simply be.

Vivienne felt free.

“How about your shoes?” Emma suggested next, bending at the waist. “Let me take care of those for you.”

In the mirror, Vivienne saw the bimbo lifting her feet and slipping her soles out of her shoes.

“Flats, huh?” Emma giggled. “I mean, they’re nice! Stylish. Sensible, huh? Just like you. That’s what I always think when I see a girl wearing flats. That she’s so, like, serious.” Another giggle. “Makes me wonder what she’s like when the flats come off, and she puts on something a little flashier instead.”

As she finished removing Vivienne’s shoes, Vivienne found herself giggling absently too. Every time Emma took something off, she felt lighter, and that lightness was only growing, filling her, leaving her euphoric.

She was starting to understand how Emma could be so happy and giggly all the time. In a way, it was only natural.

“Oh! And let’s take care of that jewelry too,” Emma exclaimed, standing up. She reached for Vivienne’s pearl earrings, and then her necklace - silver, worked into a fine pattern. “Oo, fancy! Your accessories are all so, like, dignified. So proud. It’s seriously impressive! But, I dunno, I always get tired of being proud like that.” She giggled. “It’s way more fun to just be like me, y’know?”

Vivienne found herself giggling and nodding in vacant agreement.

Being proud was so tiring. But she didn’t need to be proud. Not right now. Not with Emma. She was private, comfortable, safe. When she looked in the mirror, she didn’t see someone proud or dignified or serious. She simply saw herself, free of expectations.

“Last thing!” Emma announced. “We got you some, like, new lingerie. So let me just take the rest of this off.”

She started unhooking Vivienne’s bra, then, after slipping it off her shoulders, turned her attention to the CEO’s underwear. Vivienne had been wearing a matching set, neither flashy nor frumpy, simply classy and comfortable.

“See, this is what, like, really gets me about all that stuff we were talking about a moment ago,” Emma mused out loud. “If your clothes are your, um, identity, or whatever, then what even happens when you take everything off?” Emma giggled. “You’d be like, nothing. Right? Like a - what do you call it? - a total blank slate!” She seemed pleased with herself for remembering the phrase. “Like there wouldn’t even be a single thought going on in your head.”

Her words sank deep into Vivienne’s mind and echoed within. When, with Emma guiding her, Vivienne stepped out of her underwear, she was left completely naked. Lightness washed through her, and with it a kind of stillness. She was staring at the mirror, and her reflection seemed to echo nothing more than her own blank, tranquil state of mind. She felt nothing. She thought of nothing.

There wasn’t a single thought going on in her head.

“I think I did it! Yay!” Emma cheered quietly, after inspecting Vivienne for a moment. “OK! Now comes the really fun part.” A huge grin came to her face. “I get to dress you up again!”

She started reaching for Vivienne’s shopping bags, rummaging around for particular items. Vivienne remained perfectly still, watching impassively in the mirror. She was a blank slate. There was nothing for her to do but watch.

“Let’s see… Mel had something just adorable in mind…” Emma muttered to herself. “Here it is!” She plucked out a lingerie set and rushed back over to Vivienne, an eager glint in her eye. “Oh my gosh, I can’t wait!”

In a flurry of activity, she dressed Vivienne up in the lingerie. Vivienne was nothing more than a passive mannequin, assisting with the process only as Emma guided her. But she was still obediently watching her own reflection, and the sight of herself wearing those new garments immediately left a deep impression on Vivienne’s hypnotized mind.

They were like nothing she’d ever worn before. The bra was perfectly fitted but tight, clearly designed to push up on her breasts and give her a deep, plunging, visible cleavage. It was unmistakably both slutty and frivolous; pink, and embroidered in lace with little flowers and flowing patterns. Even worse was the thong. A matching pink, it was wickedly thin and hid almost nothing, and was clearly shaped to accentuate the lines and curves of the wearer’s hips and ass.

Once, underwear like that would have offended Vivienne’s pride - but now, her pride was gone. Her mind was primed to accept what Emma gave her, and feel good about it. When she looked in the mirror, she saw a woman who was hot, slutty and shameless.

And she liked it.

“It’s perfect,” Emma purred, admiring her handiwork. “OK. This next!”

The next item was a white blouse. At first glance, it was innocuous, albeit far, far more frilly than anything Vivienne might have usually worn. But once Emma slipped Vivienne’s arms into its sleeves and started to button it up, her design became clear. The blouse was absurdly, obscenely tight. It clung to Vivienne’s figure and, moreover, it was so small around her chest, it couldn’t be buttoned up to cover her cleavage, or even to hide the lacy hem of the push-up bra beneath.

Only one word came to Vivienne’s entranced mind as she took in the look: pornographic.

And that was her, now. Pornographic. A dumb, gleeful, sultry smile came to Vivienne’s face. She looked good. She looked hot. What else was there to say? Clearly, she was meant to be looked at. Stared at. She was meant to enjoy her body, and let other people enjoy it. It was so simple.

“And… here.” Emma was already putting on the next item of clothing. “Careful,” she giggled. “It might be a little tight.”

It was a pencil skirt - ostensibly. In truth, the garment was so outrageously short, it barely deserved the name. The tiny tube of fabric clung tight to Vivienne’s hips as Emma pulled it up, and once it was in place, it covered almost nothing. Vivienne immediately knew that, with every single step she took, it would threaten to ride up and expose the equally slutty thong she was wearing.

And the skirt was, of course, bright pink.

A transcendent fondness for the color was quickly searing itself into Vivienne’s identity. That was what she saw when she looked in the changing room mirror: a girl who loved pink. The color made her feel bright. Bubbly. Giggly. Girly. Euphoric. It was just so right for her. It brought her such happiness. In that way, she was just like Emma.

Black? Gray? No way! Those were boring.

Beyond that, something else about Vivienne was now taking shape. She was an office girl - or at least, a kind of porno parody of one. That was what the blouse and pencil skirt suggested. It made her look like a stereotype of a slutty secretary. That was her role, she could only assume, or something similar. She wasn’t serious. She wasn’t professional. Yes, technically she was a CEO, but that no longer seemed like such a suitable role for a girl like her. Perhaps, instead, she could just be a pleasing little boardroom mascot.

Vivienne giggled at the notion. It felt good. It felt freeing. Nothing to worry about but looking hot. A girl like the one Vivienne saw in the mirror had no cares or stresses besides that.

The next item Emma presented Vivienne with only cemented her new identity. It was a pair of ridiculous, bubblegum pink, stiletto heels, the kind you could barely walk in, polished to an eye-catching sheen. There was no way a serious, proud, stern CEO would wear heels like these. No, Vivienne thought, as Emma helped her into them, one by one. That wasn’t her. Not anymore.

“C’mon!” Emma urged. “Try ‘em out!”

Naturally, Vivienne obliged, strutting back and forth in front of the mirror a few times. At first, she almost fell over with every step, but eventually she started to get the hang of it. As she walked, she couldn’t help but notice how, just to keep her balance, she needed to place her feet in a line and swing her hips back and forth. It was like she was begging people to stare at her ass.

Vivienne’s dumb grin widened. The sheer, shameless, slutty frivolity of that was a delight. It was so refreshing.

“You look totally hot!” Emma squealed. “I can’t wait for the final touch. Here it is!”

To Vivienne’s slight surprise, Emma produced a pair of large glasses with pink rims and pressed them to Vivienne’s face.

Vivienne’s first instinct was to express that she didn’t need glasses. Then, she realized that they were fake. Clear lenses. Just a fashion accessory. And once she looked in the mirror, it all became clear. The glasses fit with the rest of her outfit perfectly. It was just what she needed.

Because, paradoxically, the glasses made her look very, very, very dumb.

Vivienne giggled. Maybe she was. Being dumb didn’t sound so bad. After all, Emma was dumb, and she seemed all the happier for it.

Yes, Vivienne decided. She felt like being dumb. The hypnotized CEO decided to let go of all the big, complicated thoughts that were threatening to intrude on her newfound bliss. She didn’t want to think about those things. Being dumb like Emma seemed like much more fun.

She giggled again. She was dumb, and she loved it.

Looking at her, Emma sighed fondly. “You’re just perfect,” she cooed. The two of them giggled together. “OK! We totally need to go and show Mel your new look. Come on, Vivienne.”

Vivienne was ready to follow her but, after just a couple of steps, Emma stopped abruptly and turned back to the other bimbo.

“You know,” Emma said slowly. “That really doesn’t suit you anymore, huh? You don’t look like much of a Vivienne.”

Vivienne had to agree. Emma was in charge and, besides, Vivienne was now too dumb to think for herself. “I guess not!” she tittered.

“In that case,” Emma decided. “From now on, let’s just, like, call you Vivi!”

***

Hours later, Vivi finally arrived back at her family mansion. She’d spent a little more time out with Mel and Emma, but eventually, Mel had been pulled away by her corporate duties, and Vivi had similarly felt forced to head home so that she could get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow, she’d need to work twice as hard to catch up on all the work she’d missed out on during their little impromptu shopping trip.

As she thought about that, Vivi’s carefree giggles died away and the euphoric grin she’d been wearing for hours fell from her face.

Now, more than ever, work sounded completely, infinitely exhausting. All of that stuff was just so boring. So joyless. It didn’t suit her. Not anymore. Did Vivi really have to go back to that life? More than ever, it was so desperately tempting to just let it all go. To dress the way she wanted, pink and slutty. To behave the way she wanted, dumb and silly and giggly. Maybe, if she just let go, she could be like that every day.

Just like Emma.

She couldn’t just walk away, of course. She had far too much responsibility weighing on her shoulders. Something would have to be done about Valeyard Solutions, her company. Suddenly, Vivi’s mind went to Mel and her mothers, and their interest. Perhaps she could just sell to them and wash her hands of it all.

Perhaps she could be free.

For the briefest of instants, her mind was made up. But then, as she stepped across the threshold to the house she’d grown up in, Vivi’s mood turned. In those familiar surroundings, once faded, now reborn in grandeur, it all came flooding back. Her motivation. The reasons she had to fight so hard, day after day. It was all for this. To make good on her family name. To prove herself. To prove she could stand on top.

Vivi rubbed at her face. How could she ever have forgotten?

And why had she wasted a day hanging around with that whelp Melanie Adams? Mel wasn’t her friend. She was her enemy. Her rival - not that she deserved the title. Vivi had let hours go to waste shopping when she could have been advancing her plans to see Melanie Adams subjugated and hypnotized.

Hypnotized…

Then, at last, the penny dropped. Cheeks burning red, Vivi - no, not Vivi, Vivienne! - tore at her ridiculous clothes, trying to rid herself of the shame. She couldn’t believe it. She, Vivienne Gilbert, had been hypnotized - and they’d used her own pocket watch to control her, making her act like a dim-witted bimbo for their amusement.

They’d made her act like Emma. That, most of all, was what stained her cheeks with a churning mess of emotions.

Vivienne would never live it down. Being hypnotized like that was unthinkable for someone in her position. If anyone found out that it had happened - or, god forbid, about her weaknesses - Vivienne would be ruined. She was living out her greatest nightmare. And somehow, the very worst part was how genuinely good it had all felt. Try as she might, Vivienne couldn’t seem to banish that memory from her mind.

Instead, she settled for drowning it in fury as she vowed her revenge.

Melanie Adams would pay.

---

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