#but it never fails to pass me how much work it took. AND takes to maintain it
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âepiphanyâ | 21k
worst!logan howlett x f!reader

SUMMARY: Superheroes and mutants werenât enough. Noâthe universe had to throw in soulmates who share scars. Fantastic, right? Except yours had vanished, only to mysteriously reappear with the arrival of a new face: the âWorstâ Logan Howlett, fresh from another earth.
OR What happens when a hopeless romantic crosses paths with the ultimate soulmate skeptic?
WARNINGS/TAGS: mdni smut 18+ strangers to lovers. drinking. cursing. slow burn. angst. pining. mentions of alcohol. fluff. reflecting on the art of writing/poems/books. dual POV. takes place after the events of âdeadpool & wolverineâ. TW: multiple descriptions of scars. worst/variant!logan. implied age gap (readerâs in her late 20s). theyâre both touch starved. wadeâs everyoneâs friend. miscommunication/misunderstandings. oral sex (f and m receiving). fingering, grinding. some slight hair pulling. unprotected p in v, creampie. sex with feelings.
A/N: HOPELESS ROMANTICS RISE! here we go again with another long ass fic. this is a soulmates AU in which you get your soulmateâs scars. if you feel triggered by this topic, please refrain from reading. i had a lot of fun writing this even though it took me a while to get it done. thanks to @lubdubology for being my beta and allowing me to share my work with you. and also thanks to @brushworth for giving me the chance to write this. having said this, enjoy the story! iâd love to know your thoughts on it <3
Love giveth and love taketh away.
To this day, itâs still hard for you to wrap your head around the fact that love is what humans both strive and die for.
If it werenât for love, you wouldnât be here. No one would, actually. Human beings are the result of billions of people who loved each other just enoughâor at least long enough to bring life into the world.
But isnât it in the name of love that people act in bad faith? Why would something so pure be used in vain?
You donât get it, but as the years go by, you slowly come to terms with the idea that perhaps you never will. Not because there isnât a reason, but because youâre in love with the idea of love.
How could you not be? Itâs on the streets, on the bus, at work. Everywhere you go, every place you attempt to set foot in, there it is. Love is dressed up in an expensive silk robe, a ribbon tied neatly on top of it. You reach closer, trying to unravel it, though it's pointless. The moment love sees youâtruly sees your longing for itâit flees, and you struggle to keep up.
Love runs faster than anyone, hiding within the bushes, counting the seconds until its next appearance.
It had always been a relentless race, your only worry being to catch it before time ran out. But with each day that passed, the finish line only stretched further and further away. Now, they all blur together, to the point where you live and breathe on autopilot.Â
In a Jane Austen novel, youâd be considered a lone woman. That character whoâs nice, and kind, and loved by some, but not in the way she yearns for. Every time sheâs mentioned, you go âOh, the poor girl,â until the slow realization dawns.
In reality, sheâs you, and itâs you who you feel sorry for, not a fictional character. You.
All in all, love giveth. And love also taketh away.Â
Love maketh you miserable.
Soulmatesâa nine-letter word that holds so much meaning.
Itâs one of those words that you learn early in your life, one you hear at home or on the TV. Your parents never fail to mention it if given the chance. The first time youâre introduced to the topic is at school when you're older, a bit more self-conscious, and no longer preoccupied with picking your nose.
âEverybody has a soulmate. And no,â your teacher had added after a pause, already anticipating the inevitable questions from any curious 10-year-old, âthere isnât such a thing as not having one. We all do. You just have to search for them.â
Back then, that had been your favorite gameâalways keeping an eye open, scanning the crowd more than once in new places. You knew for sure that more than one person probably thought youâd strained your neck from all the times you glanced over your shoulder.
It must be pretty obvious now, the fact that youâreâwell, alone. Saying âwithout a companionâ sounds quite outdated. They canât see through you, but something in the way you walk or speak must give it away.Â
Or is it the fact that you always ask for a table for one?
âAre you expecting someone else?â A waitress approaches you, her tone gentle as she makes sure youâre on your own. A small notebook dangles from her slender fingers, and your eyes catch the name stitched onto her apron: Emily.
The response you give her is on the verge of sounding automatic, robotic even, like one of those prerecorded messages busy people leave on their phones. âNo. Just me.â
She nods, and you feel the sympathy in her gaze. Youâve mastered the art of recognizing that lookâthe one hovering between concern and pity.
Of course, people rarely voice it, but theyâll never know their eyes sometimes say more than they think.
As she jots down your order, youâre met with the ring on her left hand. Very pretty, very shiny. Very expensive as well. Your attention must linger on it a little too long, because she catches you staring, making you feel exposed.
Emilyâyou decide to call her that way from now on, because once you know her name, it feels odd to address her as the waitressâoffers you a shy smile.
âIâm getting married next month,â she blurts out, happiness radiating from her pores. Her eyes glint like two lanterns in a starless night. She also looks younger than you, and the abrupt silence forces you to pinch your wrist, a reminder of the fact that this is a conversation, and not just something you're overhearing.
âCongratulations,â you manage to reply, returning the smile. If she saw how your expression faltered the second she walked away, you wonder if sheâd still think you were so amiable.
Sometimes, your façade slipsâyou canât help it. Thatâs what the âhopelessâ in âhopeless romanticâ stands for.
Some minutes later, she comes back with your coffee, and you catch another glimpse of the ring as it twinkles in front of you. Envy doesnât suit you, so you shift your focus.
Taking out your laptop, you scroll through the latest headlines. This is your attempt at acting more like an adult and less like a girl in her mid-twenties who has no clue what sheâs doing.
One article stands out from the rest: Hollywood Actress Divorces Loving Husband of 25 Years to Pursue Presumed Soulmate. âI saw his scars and knew he was the one.â
Interesting. You canât help but feel sorry for the displaced husband, though.
âGood for you,â you mutter under your breath, clicking the link to read more. Thereâs a picture of the actress and her new boyfriend that makes you stop dead in your tracks: theyâre smiling at each other, their faces close, noses almost touching, while they show off their matching scarsâthe unmistakable sign that theyâre, in fact, soulmates.
Soulmates, superheroes, mutants. It all sounds like a whole lot, doesnât it? Overwhelming, to say the least. One thingâs for sureâyouâll never get bored in this world.
But, hey! Donât forget that there are multiple universes out there. Maybe in one of them, youâre not this pathetic.
Why are you being so hard on yourself? Thatâs not even the point. Shaking your head, you keep glancing at their scarsâtheyâre identical, perfect mirrors of one another. The kind of scars that only two destined souls share.
Their happiness is evident, tangible. You can feel it by just eyeing the image. Itâs a bitter sensation that metamorphoses into a warmth, which heavily spreads through your chest, filling up every empty space it finds.Â
To say you understand that feeling would be a downright lie. And you may be many things, but a pathological liar is not one of them.
As if on cue, you duck your head, rolling up the sleeves of your jacket. You do the same with your shirt, foolishly hoping to find something other than smooth, unmarked skin.
No scars. No marks. No sign of a soulmate, of a lover. In the world you inhabitâthis universe full of the most inexplicable thingsâyouâre alone.Â
Without a second thought, you pack your things, shoving them rapidly into your bag. The cafe feels too little and too large all at once, the walls closing on you.
The rest of the customers are looking at you. Fuck, they already noticed itâyou canât escape it.
Have they? Do you think they see you like you see yourself? The lone woman who writes poems for an addressee who will never read them?
In silence, you hand Emily the money for your coffee. You fear that if you open your mouth, a cry will come out, and thatâs the last thing you need today. She gives you that look againâpity laced with sorrow, the one you despise. It burns.
At that moment, a man walks in, passing right by you. You see his face, his green eyes, and the way his lips curl into a grin as he greets Emily.
The scar on her forehead, which you'd missed before, mirrors the one on his.
They are soulmates.Â
Itâs on the streets, on the bus, at work. Everywhere you go, every place you attempt to set foot in, there it is.
She wishes you a nice morning as you leave the cafe. Little does she know youâll spend the rest of the day locked in your apartment, mourning someone you never even met.
Until the day you lost them, you wore your scars with pride.
They were scattered across your stomach, back, chest, and even your legs and arms. Some were shallow, others deep. It never occurred to youâthe thought that they belonged in the shadows, hidden.
Everyone has them, you thought as you stood in front of the mirror, running your fingers along their jagged paths. I just seem to have more than most people.
Over the years, you might have changed your hairstyle or the way you dressed, but your scars never didâtheyâd always been there, and they were yours.
Partly yours, of course, since you knew they belonged to your soulmate as well.
The older you grew, the more you realized having a good memory was both a gift and a curse. You still remembered that moment so vividlyâwhen you found out that somebody out there was meant for you and only you.
A point of no return, thatâs what itâd been. From that day on, not a single one went by without you imagining the first encounter with your Prince Charming.Â
In the meantime, you dated. A few boyfriends came and went during and after high school, mostly as practice for the real thing, youâd told yourself.
God, you were determined to know everything. To be the best girlfriend ever, so that when you finally met him, heâd be over the moon.
At the age of seventeen, it sounded like a brilliant plan.
You never knew how, but your life became that meantime. All your friends began to find their soulmates: in the supermarket, while traveling, at the goddamn doctorâs office.
Everybody was fulfilling the purpose youâd been taught humans were made forâeveryone but you.
The scars multiplied, yet he was nowhere to be seen, remaining out of reach. Your soulmateâs whereabouts were a mystery. What the hell does he do in his free time? was something you used to often ponder. Is he suffering? Does he need help?
âBe patient, give it some time. The less you seek, the more youâll find,â your mother would say, trying to sound encouraging. Although she was trying to do her best, that phrase alone had the power to make you go nuts.
Be patient? Waiting was all youâd been doing. What was so wrong with you that he seemed to be hiding from you? You didnât want to wait any longer, noâyou wanted to find him. If it meant traveling to Italy like your cousin had to meet her husband, then so fucking be it.
Many nights, sleep eluded you. Lying wide awake, staring at the ceiling, youâd imagine what life with him would be like. What he would look like. You were certain that no matter his appearance, youâd think he was beautiful.
Wasnât that the whole point of soulmatesâthat the bond you two shared transcended physical attraction?
Nevertheless, you secretly wished heâd have brown hair. He didnât need to know, but you had a weakness for brunettes.
On the night of your twenty-second birthday, you were getting ready for the big event when every trace of your scars disappeared.
The bathroom mirror was fogged from the showerâs stream, and as you wiped it clean with the palm of your hand, the image you saw reflected on the glass made your stomach do a flip.
There were no scars. No marks. Nothing. At first, you thought your eyes were playing tricks on youâit couldnât be. Scars didnât just vanish. It was impossible.
But as you lowered your gaze, tracing your limbs again and again, the truth hit you. The marks you knew by heart, the ones that reminded you, Heâs out there, somewhere, were gone.
You felt it deep in your chest, too. Every sound seemed louder and clearer: the blood rushing through your veins, each shaky breath you took. Where are they? Your fingers dug into your flesh, intending to ground yourself.
Is he⌠dead? It was the only reasonable explanation, the rule youâd known all along. Youâd read it countless times, memorizing the principles about scars.
The scream that tore from your throat brought your mother running upstairs, and she entered the bathroom with a horrified expression on her face.
âWhatâs wrong? Are you hurt?â she asked, but your mind was already far away. Your whole body shuddered in her arms, a sob slipping past your lips as you crumbled to the floor, desperately hoping it was all a nightmare. âIt must be a mistake, honey. Iâm sure heâs okay.â
But heâs not, you wanted to tell her. The words, however, never formedâonly a broken whimper escaped your lips. Isnât that what we were taught? Our scars belong to our soulmates; they bind us to them in a way that simple words canât explain.
It goes deeper than the skin. It delves into our bodies, our minds, reaching into the very essence of who we are. What was once his is also mine, but theyâre gone.
Heâs gone. He must be, because otherwise, how would you explain this void?
When oneâs soulmate passes away, that person will notice the disappearance of their scars. The physical marks that once symbolized their connection fade, leaving no trace. This absence is accompanied by a distinct, unsettling sensationâan awareness of loss that goes beyond the physical, signaling the end of the bond.
A part of you died with him that day.
The first time you exchanged words with Wade Wilson, you thought he was a total dick.
It wasnât as if you didnât know himânot when he was so infamous for that mouth of his. Deadpool: the self-proclaimed superhero with a vocabulary that was 90% profanity, who made cracking jokes while fighting the bad guys look easy.
Super funny? Sure. But not exactly your cup of tea when all you wanted was to crawl into bed and forget the world existed.
He was apparently long retired from superheroing. No one had seen that red, sex-toy-looking suit in ages, which was why you were only mildly surprised as you spotted him hauling boxes into your building on a Tuesday afternoon.
It was late, and you werenât in the mood for small talk. Heâd been there barely a week, yet somehow, heâd already managed to fuck things up.Â
You let out a deep sigh, rubbing the crease between your brows. âLook, Wallyââ
âItâs pronounced Wade,â he corrected you, trying to edge his face further into the gap between the door and its frame, though you didnât let your guard down. âYouâre pretty rude, you know that?â
âIâve been up for twenty-four hours, and I need to sleep,â you groaned, trying to push him away with one hand. Technically, he wasnât even asking for something that complicatedâhe wanted to use your microwave to heat his dinner, since his had decided to stop working out of the blue.
The thing was that youâd had the kind of week that felt like a one-way trip to hell, an important detail he wasnât aware of. âGo ask someone else. I canât do charity tonight.â
âYouâre the only one who answered,â he said, pressing his palms together in a pleading gesture, his lips curling into a heartbreaking pout. âPlease, my lovely neighbor, whose name I donât know. You wouldnât want me to starve to death, would you?
âI thought you couldnât die.â You raised an eyebrow, half-interested.
Wadeâs arms dropped to his sides, his eyes drifting downward. âAnd I thought kindness wasnât extinct, but here we are.â He spun on his heel, acting defeated and dragging his feet like a scolded puppy. âCanât believe this is what the worldâs come to. Iâm sure the Bible says something about treating others how youâd want to be treated.â
Why. Just⌠why? Some cosmic, divine force from beyond might have been testing you that night.
âWait,â you croaked just as he was about to step into his apartmentâwhich was literally three meters from yours. His face lit up, expecting you to continue, and you moved aside slightly, signaling him in. âFive minutes and youâre out, okay? I really need to get some rest.â
The rest was history. Wade was just standing there, mesmerized by your microwave as if heâd never seen one before.
You could only hear the faint buzzing sound of the gadget, punctuated by the rhythmic drumming of his fingers on the counter. He was humming a tune while shaking his head to the beat.
You tried to focus, replaying the guided meditation you sometimes followed to sleep in your mind.
Allow yourself to feel the stillness of this moment. Notice your breath slowing as your body begins to calm. Be the observer of your breath, flowing in and out naturally, as your lungsâ
Yeah, it wasnât working.
âPlease, stop it,â you eventually told Wade, whose gaze shifted from the microwave to you, brows furrowed.
âAnd whyâs that?â
âThey say itâs bad for your eyes,â you explained, recalling a half-forgotten news report youâd heard on the TV. Whether it was a myth or not, youâd never know. âI believe itâs because of the radiation exposure.â
Leaning back on the counter, he crossed his arms over his chest. âAt this point, I think Iâm safe. You, on the other hand⌠maybe not so much,â he nearly whispered that last part, and your desire to strangle him grew stronger.
Save me, mindfulness, you thought to yourself.
He jerked his thumb toward the pile of papers and books you had on your kitchen table. âSo, youâre a writer?âÂ
âEditor, in reality,â you snapped, your eyelids twitching as you watched him leaf through your stuff. âWade, donât touch my things.â
âSorry, canât help myself. Iâm very curious.â Flashing you a quick grin, he opened your notebook, squinting his eyes as he went through the pages. âBut you write too, huh? Iâm discovering plenty of material here.â
The bastard. âGive. It. Back,â you snarled, lunging at him and trying to snatch the notebook from his hands, but he was faster, raising it out of reach. âI hope your food explodes in that microwave, asshole.â
âOh, right. I forgot about it,â he snorted, tossing the notebook onto the couch and retrieving his dinner instead. You stared at him in disbelief, opening your mouth to scold him, but nothing came out. Then, there he was, standing in front of you with his plate and a fork.
Wait. Was that your fork?
âItâs hot, Iâll give you that.â He blew on his food to cool it down, and as he glanced up, he was met with your murderous glare. âWhoa. Want some? You couldâve just asked me. No need to get so angry.â
Calling it a desire to kill him wouldâve been an understatement. And the worst part? He couldnât die. âYouâve got what you needed. Now, can you leave?â
âHow longâs it been since you talked to another human being?â
You blinked, feeling the sudden urge to look around, half expecting a hidden camera. âWhy do you always answer with another question?â
âAll Iâm saying is Iâve been meaning to talk to you for days now, but youâre practically living the hermit life,â he said between bites of chicken, excusing himself briefly to chew. âThat robe youâre wearing? Itâs had the same stain on it since I moved in. Also, your doormatâs buried under a mountain of newspapers, so either you really love trees, or youâve been avoiding any sort of social interaction.â
If he had been wrong, you wouldâve felt much better. But he⌠wasnât, and it sucked.
âI feel like I should be scared,â you mumbled after a long stretch of silence, your eyes going round.
Wade did no more than laugh at your troubled expression. âScared of me? Thatâs cute. Iâm a nice guy, sweet pea. Persistent, sure, but Iâve got a knack for getting under peopleâs skin,â he said, grinning through a mouthful of foodâwhich, for the sake of your sanity, you chose to ignore.
After he had finished eating, he let the fork fall into the sink, the metal striking against the surface with a piercing echo, making you jump. He stretched his arms with a satisfied yawn, and he seemed determined to leave you alone. âWell, Iâve done my good deed for the day.â
âWhat do you mean?â you asked, following his movements as he ambled toward the door. âAre you telling me your microwave does work?â
âOh, youâre a smart one, arenât you?â Wade patted your head, ruffling your hair like you were a puppy who had just learned a new trick. âGood night, peanut.â
From that moment on, the two of you became inseparable. Your personalities clicked in a way youâd never experienced before with any other friend. Wade was loyal to a fault, and he treated you like the little sister he had never had.Â
Most importantly, he didnât pity youâhe saw you for who you were, not just someone marked by a lost soulmate. You never told him how much that meant to you, but deep down, you were grateful.
Which brings you to the present day. Youâve been friends with him for over a year, and heâs taken every chance to introduce you to his âweird but lovableâ (his words, not yours) group of friends.
âCheck your social anxiety at the door, thank you,â heâd tell you every time he hosted a get-together and you were invited.
Somehow, you had managed to bond with themâespecially Althea, his elderly roommate, who occasionally forgets who you are despite living next door.
âRemind me of your name again, sweetie? All this disco dust must be affecting my memory,â sheâd ask, leaning in close so youâd practically have to shout it into her ear. Then sheâd nod, smirking knowingly. âAh, yes. I thought so. Just making sure.â
Sheâs quite the character. A real sweetheart if you leave aside the number of times sheâs offered you more types of drugs than you knew existed.
Tonight, youâre throwing Wade a surprise birthday party. Among all the party tasks, youâve handled the decorations and the cake. The roomâs a riot of color, with balloons floating lazily from the ceiling and a cascade of streamers draping over the furniture.
Guests start arriving, greeting you warmly, a feeling you once thought impossible. Theyâre Wadeâs friends, sure, but on some level, you like to think theyâre your friends now too: Vanessa, Dopinder, Buck, Shatterstar, Colossus, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, and Yukio.
As you hear footsteps approaching the door, Wadeâs voice filters through the hallway. Panicking, you whirl around to the group. âHeâs here! Everyone shut up!â you whisper urgently, turning off the lights and pressing your back flat against the wall next to the door.
Seconds later, the sound of keys jingling fills the air as both Wade and Peter step into the apartment.
You flip the lights back on just as Dopinder pops his much-anticipated party popper. âSurprise!â you all scream in unison, and Wadeâs face splits into a grin, unsure of whom to hug first.
âYou guys are lucky Iâm not armed,â he quips, slinging an arm around Dopinderâs shoulders. âSix years ago, youâd all be dead!â
And you giggle, because⌠well, what else are you supposed to do?
As you expected, the night unfolds smoothly. Youâre having fun, engaging in conversations despite yesterdayâs emotional meltdown at the cafe. Itâll be okayâit always is. The food is amazing, the company even better. You remind yourself that romantic love isnât the only kind that mattersâthatâs what friends are for, after all, to teach you that lesson.
The low hum of chatter fills the air, punctuated by bursts of laughter and the clinking of glasses, creating a lively symphony that wraps around you like a warm blanket. Yukio calls your name, waving her head in front of your eyes, trying to snap you out of your thoughts. âEverything okay?â she wonders, concern flickering in her voice.
âYeah, Iâm fine,â you reply, tightening your grip on your beer bottle. âJust thinking, thatâs all.â
You all gather around the cake when Wadeâs about to blow the candles. You know heâs preparing himself for a speech. âAnother year of spinning around the moon, huh?â
âSun, you dumbass,â Al corrects him, and you have to bite your lip to keep your laughter to yourself.
âOkay, flat-earther,â Wade shoots back, giving her a playful side-eye. âAnyway, where was I? Oh, rightâI canât thank you all enough for being here. These past few years have been... well, rough on me, to say the least,â he says, glancing down at the cake with a small, crooked smile. âBut Iâm happy now. Weâve got each otherâs back, like a team!â
âLike The Avengers, you mean?â Dopinder pipes up, eyes sparkling with excitement. Thereâs a moment of silence in which you swear youâd be able to hear a hairpin drop.
Itâs still a sensitive topic.
âNext time, give me a trigger warning before you mention them,â Wade mutters in a hushed tone, and Dopinder shrinks sheepishly. âI guess what I wanted to tell you wasâŚâ he trails off, his palm covering the place where his heart is, âthat I'm glad youâre all here. Being surrounded by the people I love most is the best birthday gift ever.â
His words stir something inside you. Vanessa gently nudges his arm, smiling up at him. âWhy donât you make your wish?â
Wade dramatically drops to his knees in front of the cake, eyes fluttering shut before blowing out the candles, whistles and cheers erupting all around.
Just then, you hear the unmistakable sound of the doorbell ringing through the air. You exchange a curious glance with Wade, raising your eyebrows. âThatâs weird. Want me to get it?â
âNah, I got it,â he says, excusing himself to answer the door. He slips outside, shutting it behind him, and everything returns to normal. For a while, you assume heâs chatting with someone who dropped by to say hiâbut that doesnât really make sense.
âDonât you think itâs weird that heâs been out there so long?â Vanessa inquires, her worry starting to creep in.
âIâll go check on him,â you tell her, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze before heading to the door.
But when you open it, thereâs no Wade in sight. Just⌠his toupeeâor âhair systemâ as he insists on calling it, lying on the floor.
Kneeling down, you gingerly pick it up, a strange sensation settling in your chest.
Where the hell did he go?
After his existence went downhill, Logan turned to prayer.
Completely out of character, right? He thought so too. The number of times he'd stepped foot inside a church could be counted on one hand, so why would a man like him resort to religion?
In the past, he had been told he was part of Godâs plan, but somewhere along the way, he felt like he had become Godâs mistake.
After living a life plagued with loss and constantly in hiding, he wasnât shocked that his self-worth was in the gutter.
Things only spiraled after letting everyone down, especially after that particular day when things took a turn for the worse. He had prayed, asking God to make him forget.
When that didnât work, he just drank harder and smoked more. But not even drowning in alcohol and clouds of nicotine could put an end to his strugglesâhe was condemned to suffer.
In spite of everyoneâs wishes, heâs still going strong, stuck with no defined purpose. Itâs almost impossible not to fall into a routine that seeks to numb him, to put him under anesthesiaâwaking up after passing out who-knows-where, finding the nearest bar, sinking into whiskey and the haze of ashtrays.
Then he does it all over again, a never-ending cycle. His self-destructive habits donât lead him to oblivion; instead, they intensify every sensation, making each memory and emotion painfully vivid.Â
Day after day, he convinces himself heâs got it under control. Logan may be tough as fuck, and he may heal faster than anyone else, but his pride is in pieces.
No amount of strength or supernatural abilities can stop the decay he feels inside, the slow rot creeping deeper within him the longer he remains trapped in this life.
He slams the empty glass onto the counter with a heavy thud, tapping two fingers against it. âAgain,â he murmurs, his voice low and rough.
The bartender looks at him like he's the reincarnation of all things vile. âI told youâyouâre not welcome here. Youâre not welcome anywhere. Now get the fuck out of my bar.â
Oh, yes. Music to his ears. If he had a nickel for every time he heard that, heâd be rich. âJust give me one more drink and then Iâll leave.â
âThatâs not how it works,â the bartender replies, and Logan knows heâs screwed. Another public establishment heâs been banned fromâfucking perfect.
Will there ever be a day where heâs not treated like garbage?
âIt does now,â an unknown voice joins the conversation, and Logan glances to his side, arching a brow. The masked man doesnât let his stare falter. âLeave the bottle.â
âDo I know you, bub?âÂ
âYou donât, but I know you.â
This serves as evidence of how pliant heâs become. Years ago, he wouldâve already wiped the floor with this guy. They didnât call him Logan âshort fuseâ Howlett for nothing. But now? He just canât bring himself to do it.
âEverybody does. Iâm theââ
Here it comes, the reminder of his personal calvary.
ââWolverine.â Once he finishes the sentence, his words taste bitter. Perhaps itâs the venom on his tongue, or maybe itâs just the alcohol from yesterday kicking him again. Either way, both hit hard.
âYes, you are,â the stranger says, continuing to stare at him, as if Loganâs worth the effort. âAnd Iâm going to need you to come with me. Right now.â
Logan holds his breath. The worst part of it all is that his dayâs just getting started. He has no clue who this guy is or why heâs claiming to need him.
But heâs got the wrong manâLogan doesnât know him, and he sure as hell doesnât have anything good to offer.
Or so he believed five minutes ago. Life seems to have its own way of surprising him.
Knowing heâll regret it later, he closes his fingers around the whiskey bottle, chugging the liquor until darkness takes over his senses.
Nighty-night, Logan.
I'm aware that you're not mine, and nor will you ever be.
Iâve spent sleepless nights trying to figure out
where this need to call you mine stems from.Â
You're like an antique, a rare piece displayed
in a crowded bazaar, drawing curious glances.
Iâm aware that you're not mine
because I haven't bought you yet;
I hold no claim over you,
nor can I control who touches you and who doesn't.
I want you to be mine,
but no amount of money would buy your soul.
You're beyond reachâsomeone has already marked you.
Iâm aware that youâre not mine,Â
and I guess maybe thatâs how life is meant to be.
âBullshit,â you mutter softly into the quiet of your apartment, where the only sound is the echo of your own voice.
Chewing the end of your pen, your eyes narrow as they skim over the poem youâd written over a month ago.
Since then, youâve been working on refining the details, but something is missingâthat you can feel. The flow is awkward, the choice of words stiff. Itâs like a puzzle that doesnât quite fit together.Â
You take a long sip from your coffee, tucking both knees up onto the chair you're sitting in. 7:30 a.m., and already, your mind is spinning, diving headfirst into a poem when countless other things are demanding your attentionâlike, a hundred things, really.
Right now, cracking this piece feels more important than any other task on your list.
Who do you write to? That part is easyâyour soulmate. That deceased, probably buried, long-gone soulmate of yours.
It shouldnât be funny, but thereâs an absurdity to it.
Without warning, a memory slips into your thoughtsâone girl you used to work with once advising you to change the subject of your writing.
âYou should go for some self-love crap. People usually eat that up,â she said, not even bothering to look up from her nails, red polish smeared over the edges.
Her fingers were a mess, coated in that fiery hue, but she didnât seem to care as she tapped your notebook with her lacquered index finger. âThis is repetitive. Keep writing about the same thing, and people will get bored of you.â
âI havenât published them yet,â you answered, your voice coming out more high-pitched than usual, betraying the doubt you intended to suppress. Her blue eyes flicked up, studying your face as you slid the now red-stained notebook back into your bag, away from her careless, messy fingers. âI thought⌠I thought we were supposed to write about what we feel passionate about.â
That managed to catch her attention. Passionate. She let out a laughâsharp and cold, like something straight out of a villainâs script in a childrenâs movie. It grated against your ears.
âSweetie, you call that passionate?â She waved her hand dismissively, standing up from the table.
Taller, older, and more secureâjust the fact that she gave you her time shouldâve made you feel grateful. âNot to be a bitch, but what you showed me is kind of depressing.âÂ
Kind of depressing. From that moment on, you kind of hated her. Small victories, thoughâthe agency fired her a year later. You like to think you kind of won that battle.
Still, she mightâve been right about one thing: your writing does fall into patterns. Itâs predictable, to say the leastâthe rhythm, the themes. Even the metaphors you include can be found in several of your poems.
Are you⌠lazy? Has someone revealed the way to break out of it? If there is, you figure you're fine without it.
You donât want to write the kind of articles sheâd churn out about the latest trends or the five best positions to get pregnant faster. Nor do you want to pick apart celebrities' lives for a flashy headline.
What you do want is to write about love. Real love. Even if you are not the most qualified person to do it. Even if nobody wants to read the words from someone who has never experienced it in the flesh.
And youâll get thereâhow? Youâre still figuring that out.
As long as you live and breathe, love will remain in your thoughts, haunting youâespecially with your muse being the fleeting dream of a soulmate you never got to meet in the first place.
But itâs time to start your dayâthe real one. The one where you have to step outside the safety of your four walls and deal with reality.
The to-do list assembles in your mind: groceries, that book youâve been meaning to pick up, emails you need to answer.
You let your mind take over, guiding you through the motions without a second thought. As you head back to your room, you get rid of the comfortable robe you love so much.
Next, your shirt comes off, tossed carelessly onto the bed. Just as you're about to step out of your pajama pants, you notice them.
The scars.
Theyâre not the same, not the faded lines etched into your skin that you could see every night behind your eyelids. New marks glow against your flesh, each one a map of something you donât yet understand, standing out like new brushstrokes on an old canvas.
You canât help but freeze, your breath faltering for a moment, and you nearly trip over yourself. Kicking your pants to the side, you stare down at your hips, thighs, the hollow of your ribcage.Â
Tentatively, you press your fingers into the lines, expecting them to fade, to disappear under your touch like some peculiar illusion.
But they donât. They remain. You can feel the raised edges, the subtle roughness, the heat beneath your touch.
These scars are different from the ones you had before. Under no circumstances are they the faint memories you once carried. Noâthese are fresh and vibrant. Marks that shouldnât exist, the stories theyâve witnessed unfamiliar to you.
Within seconds, youâre sobbing, and you blink through the wetness clouding your vision, wiping your tears of disbelief (and maybe hope?) away with the back of your hand.
Nothing changes. Theyâre still there.
You've never heard of scars returning like this. It goes against everything in the manual on your shelf. Scars vanish when a soulmate dies, but they donât come back. Not like this. And they certainly donât change.Â
Barely able to stand without stumbling, you scramble to your phone. The first person you call is your mom, your fingers shaking as you press the buttons. She screams into the phone, and all you can do is laugh through the tears.
What doesnât sit right with her is the change in the scars. She mentions something about reaching out to a specialist, insisting that your case is rareâone in a million.
Almost immediately, you think of Wade, knowing heâd want to hear this. God, heâd be ecstatic. Before you even realize it, youâre standing in front of his door, finger hovering over the bell.
Thatâs when the realization hits you: heâs been gone for nearly three days, off doing whatever it is he does.
Ringing the bell, a smile tugs at your lips. News like these are meant to be shared.
âAlthea, itâs me!â you call out, hoping sheâll hear you. You press your forehead against the door, fidgeting with your fingers. âI have something to tell you.â
Logan has had better days. Days that didnât involve escaping The Void, fighting a hundred Wades, or saving an earth that wasnât even his to begin with.
You know, normal daysâof being sneered at while drinking to forget and, fuck, how many hours has he been sober? It feels like an eternity.
When the adrenaline wears off and the heroism fades, heâs back to being just Logan again. If he had a watch, heâd probably tap the glass and fake impatience to Wade, pretending heâs got somewhere else to be.
He should leave. Thatâs his first impulse: to escape before itâs too late, but a question arises in his mind: does he truly want to?
Wade watches as Logan rises to his feet, planning to walk away. Pretty stupid, Logan thinks, considering he knows no one else in this universeâapart from the scarred man heâs become friends with against his will.
âLogan!â Wade yells his name, his voice light but firm enough to halt him in his tracks. Logan turns to face him, greeted by Wadeâs familiar, infuriating smile.
It's a silent invitation to a new beginning.
Nothingâs holding him back, so why not accept it? The odds of being the target of hateful glares are lower here, and thatâs reason enough for Logan to give a small tilt of his head and return to the bench where Wade remains seated.
âWeâre gonna be roommates!â the latter exclaims, a wide grin stretching across his face as they head toward the building. âCan you imagine all the fun weâll have?â
Logan presses his lips into a thin line. âLooking forward to it,â he murmurs, a small glimmer of sarcasm slipping into his tone, although Wade takes his words at face value.
âMe too, roomie. Me too.â
âLetâs not use that word.â
Wade holds the door open for Logan with an exaggerated bow. âWhy not? Itâs the truth. We can even share my bed if thatâsââ
The sound of Loganâs claws succeeds in silencing him. Wade recoils and covers his crotch, no doubt remembering past close calls.
âYou know what? You can have the bed. Iâll take the couch. No problem.â
Was moving in with Wade the worst idea heâs had in a while? Absolutely. The reason? Althea, the elderly woman he lives with, isnât answering the door, and he doesnât have his keys.
Logan covers his eyes with a hand, silently questioning all of his life choices. And itâs only been ten minutes.
âThis doesnât happen often,â Wade reassures him, rubbing his neck.
âHard to believe,â Logan mutters, some unknown muscle in his jaw beginning to ache from how hard heâs gritting his teeth. âYou just leave the house without your fucking keys?â
Wade huffs, jutting out a hip in mock offense. âThose TVA guys didnât exactly send a âWeâre here to ruin your dayâ memo. I was ambushed, okay?â he retorts, keeping a finger glued to the doorbell, its shrill ring gnawing at Loganâs already thin patience. âAl, I swear to God, Iâm replacing your blood pressure pills with laxatives if you donât wake up!â
âHow old is she?â Logan asks, searching for anything to keep him from snapping the other manâs neck. Peaceful thoughts.
âCompared to you, sheâs basically a newborn,â Wade replies, rocking back and forth on his heels. Heâs having the time of his lifeâmeanwhile, Loganâs self-control is reaching its limit.
His claws twitch in his knuckles. Heâs had enough, and with a jerk of his left hand, they gleam as they slide out, ready to break the damn door.Â
But then Wade jumps in front of him.
âWhoa, whoa, whoa. Easy there, buddy! Iâm not letting you turn my door into a strainer.â
âMove,â Logan barks, not an ounce of friendliness in his tone. His stare is flat, unfazed.
âIâd rather not. You canât just go around breaking peopleâs doors, man. Not cool,â Wade blurts quickly, placing both hands on Loganâs chest, pushing him away. âHow about I ask my neighbor, huh? I gave her a spare set of keys for situations like these.â
âI thought you said this didnât happen often.â
âWell, lifeâs full of disappointments.â
Before Logan can answer back, Wade rushes to the door next to his, slamming his fist on it like a madman, his finger hammering the doorbell simultaneously.
The devilâs orchestraâa symphony straight from hell.
Logan grabs Wadeâs wrist before he can knock again, hissing: âHave some manners, will you?âÂ
Wade tries to shake his arm free from Loganâs tight grip. âSheâs in there. I know it,â he replies in the same tone, but now he uses his other hand to ring the doorbell with greater feeling.
After a pause, he stamps his foot on the floor, throwing his head back. âCome on! Is this how you treat me after being away? Shame on you, Missy!â
This neighbor must be very patient, Logan thinks, to keep up with a guy like Wade without often seeing red.
As the door finally swings open, his grip on Wade loosens, and his hand falls limply to his side.
âWhat⌠the fuck?â
The sound of your voiceâsoft, slightly groggy from sleepâpulls his attention away from the door incident. His gaze is fixed entirely on youâyou look as if youâve just rolled out of bed, which makes sense since itâs still early.
Back in The Void, Wade had rambled on about all his friends, you included. Logan recalls how he had described you: a book editor who lived on her own and loved reading. You were youngerâbut then again, who wasnât younger than him?
The picture Wade had shown him, with you standing in the background, hadnât done you justice. He had found you attractive then, but seeing you in person?
Youâre⌠far more than he expected.
More beautiful, for starters.
Fuck. Why is he even thinking about that? He mustâve been staring at you for quite a whileâyou glance at him like a startled lamb, clearly feeling self-conscious under his unwavering stare.
âMay I know,â you start, tightening your robe, âwhy you were banging on my door like that? I thought I was getting robbed for a minute.â You direct your question at Wade, avoiding Loganâs presence, which makes something tighten in his chest.
He finds the way you stifle a yawn endearing, though.
Okay, thatâs enough, he tells his mind. Let it go.
Wade steps in first, dropping his mask on the nearest surface. âHello, my dear. Oh, yes, Iâm fine. Just a few scratches. No, I wasnât partyingâI was kidnapped. Thanks for asking.â
You draw in a long breath, rubbing your eyes to wake up once and for all, and then you proceed to gesture for Logan to enter. Even now, you find it difficult to maintain eye contact with him. âDo youâwould you like to come in?â
Not only are you pretty, but also polite. He nods, muttering a gruff: âYeah, thank you.â
As he walks past you, your shoulders brush briefly, sending an unexpected jolt through him. A tingling sensation on the verge of being electrifying that has him knitting his brows.
His gaze finds yours, searching your expression to see if you felt it too. But you look away, closing the door to go after Wade.
Great. You must think heâs a weirdo.Â
âIâm always up for company, but why so early?â you ask your friend, rummaging through the kitchen cabinets. âAnd are you going to tell me what happened the other day? You left without saying anything.â
Wade hops onto a stool at the kitchen counter, swinging his legs like a child. âYou know Al. When it comes to sleeping, sheâs like a much older version of Sleeping Beauty,â he replies with a grin, snatching the mug you were about to use for your morning coffee. âThanks, youâre such a doll.â
âThat wasâmine,â you sigh, hitting him in the thigh, and Wade winces with a fake whine. âI donât think Iâve missed you that much. Go back to being missing in action,â you say, grabbing another mug and filling it before raising it toward Logan. âCoffee?â
Logan hesitates. Youâre treating him like youâve known him for years, not minutes. âIâm⌠good.â
âYou sure? I made it fresh, just before you guys arrived.â
âDonât worry, Iâmââ
âI love the chemistry here,â Wade interrupts your conversation, drawing your attention back to him, âbut you still got the keys I gave you, right?â
You roll your eyes, blowing on your steamy coffee before answering. âI do, but I want answers first. And I want them now.â
Twenty minutes and a rambling, half-coherent story later, your drink has gone cold, and Loganâs patience is wearing thin⌠again.
Will he survive sleeping under the same roof as Wade? Stay tuned for more.
âAnd then I told Paradox âHe has risen, babygirlâââ
âI think youâre being too specific,â Logan interjects, noting how youâre staring into space with wide eyes. âShe seems confused.â
âI am,â you admit, rubbing your temples. He doesnât blame you: Wadeâs a terrible storyteller. You offer him a weak smile as you turn to him. âSo⌠youâre from another universe.â
âLast time I checked.â His back collapses against the couch, groaning softly. He sits beside you, and the way your eyes sweep over him, taking in his disheveled and sweaty appearance, doesnât go unnoticed by him.
âAnd how is it? I mean, do you haveââ
âIâm public enemy number one.â
Too harsh, idiot.
âOh. Thatâs⌠good to know.â
Wade says your name, and you look to your right, lifting your brows. âDo you mind if I grab the keys myself? I need a shower. Iâve been marinating in sweat and blood for way too long.â
You grimace, pointing toward your room. âTop drawer of my nightstand.â
With that, he embarks on a quest to find them, leaving Logan alone with you. Silence stretches between you two.
He doesnât know what to say, or if he should even say anything. Casual conversation isnât his forte.
âYou and WadeâŚ?â
Letting out a giggle, you lean back on the couch. âGod, no. Weâre just friends,â you explain, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. For a fleeting moment, your eyes bore into his, and then you return to burning holes in the floor. âIâm single. Havenât found my soulmate yet.â
Itâs his turn to chuckle nowâa dark, humorless sound rumbling in his chest. You chew on a cuticle, Loganâs gesture igniting a sense of curiosity in you.
âWhat?â you ask him, puzzled.
âDo you really believe in that? Soulmates who share scars?â If he were to think carefully, heâd watch his tone. Itâs too late, anywayâyou straighten your posture, your face contorting with each passing second. âI can tell you do.â
âAnd I can tell you donât.â
âWhy would I? Those are lies,â he retorts, the corners of his mouth turning upward.
His opinion is anything but objective, totally biased, given that every time he dove into loveâs arms, he was met with the crude reality: not everyoneâs meant to be loved, himself included.
The look you give him is enough to wipe the smirk off his face.Â
âSoulmates exist, Logan. We all have one.â Thereâs a certainty in your tone, marked by the subtle way in which you say his name, that he finds alluring. He shouldnât, especially when you seem angry above all.Â
âAnd where is yours, then?â
He regrets it as soon as the words leave his mouth. Your expression becomes inscrutable. You could be either disappointed, frustrated, or even exasperatedâsad, perhaps?
Logan feels as though a weight has settled on his shoulders just from staring into your eyes.
You strike back with silence. Plain, pure, dreadful silence that has him wondering if heâs breathing properly.
At long last, Wade comes back from his expedition, keys dangling from his fingers. âIt was quite the treasure hunt, you know? Youâve got a lot of garbage in there.â He sticks his face between Loganâs and yours when you don't answer him. âGuys, is there something wrong? Are you doing a staring contest? If so, can I join?â
âI need to start getting ready for work,â you announce, standing up from the couch. Logan mimics you, and you open the door, your fingers curling around the knob. âYou should get going. And Wade,â you pause, acknowledging only him, âI need to talk to you later. In private.â
Without Logan. Thatâs what you wanted to say but didnât.
âSure, my queen. I live to serve,â Wade says in rejoinder, and he kisses your forehead briefly, which forces Logan to avert his gaze the whole time his lips are on you, feeling uncomfortable watching. âTake care, alright?âÂ
You give Wade a small nod, waiting until heâs outside your apartment to glance at Logan.
âGoodbye,â you croak, and he knows he should say something, that heâ
The door almost closes on his nose.
Had he been an asshole? He was merely expressing his thoughts. The idea of soulmates didnât sit well with him.
Once settled into Wadeâs apartment, Logan steps into the shower, water rinsing off his body. Yet he finds himself unable to stop thinking about you.
The disappointment in your eyes when he asked about your soulmate.
The coldness in your tone at the end, so different from the warmth you initially offered.
He feels drawn to you, as if some sort of invisible string is tying the two of you. Were it possible, he would use his own claws to cut it, but he canât discern where it begins or ends. Instead, he prefers to blame his touch-starved state for this reaction.Â
Heâs already hating this earth. So much for a man whose skin refuses to scar.
And where is yours, then?
His words shouldnât have stung the way they did. All the charmâthe gruff exterior, the mysterious personalityâhad vanished.
The guy from another universe, with the claws, the healing abilities, and the raspy voice, is a moron.
A ridiculously good-looking moron? Yes, but a moron nonetheless.
There is something about him you canât quite place. A chill creeps down your spine as you replay the instant your eyes first locked. Your body had reacted in ways it never had before, drawn to him like metal to a magnet.
Why? Youâd seen handsome men before, even been with some. Yet, youâve never felt thisâthis gravitational pull, this inexplicable pull to invade someoneâs personal space.
How would your soulmate feel if he saw you like this, lusting after another man?
You shudder at the thought. This isnât like you. You pride yourself on loyaltyâperhaps a little too much. You donât read two books at the same time, and youâve been buying the same brand of shampoo for the past five years.
So why now? Why him? It feels like a betrayal of your own mind, your conscience turned against you.
Let things stay as they areâitâs safer that way. You donât want to know the reason behind this forceful need.
After all, being his grumpy and ill-tempered self, heâll stay holed up in Wadeâs apartment, avoiding any interaction with the real world. And you? Youâll forget about him. Easy-peasy.
That afternoon, as you take a nap on the couch, he invades your dreams. Itâs not even a wet dream, but heâs there, staking a claim on a part of you he has no right to.
You wake up with your hand clutching your chest, a frustrated punch landing on the nearest cushion.
The next day, you drop by Wadeâs place for a quick visit, your eyes darting around the room every few seconds, half-expecting Logan to appear out of nowhere.
âI told you, heâs sleeping. That guyâs got a fucked up sleep schedule,â Wade says, urging you to take a seat beside him at the table. âWhy donât you wanna see him?â
Because heâs messing with your sanity. Your brain cells are practically disintegrating at the mere thought of breathing the same air as him.
âI justâI need to tell you something.â
âAre you pregnant?â
âWhat? Wade, no! Youâve been gone for three daysâpregnancies take months.â
âIâd make an amazing uncle, though.â He grabs your hand between his, his eyes sparkling with mischief. âBabies are so adorable at thatââ
âMy scars are back,â you cut him off, putting an end to his nonsense. Pulling the neck of your sweater to the side, you show him the thin lines etched into your collarbone. âBut they are different this time.â
âDifferent? You mean they changed?â His disbelief is clear as he reaches for your arm, frowning while he inspects more of your scars. Wadeâs jaw slackens, color draining out of his face. âFuck. Fuck!â
âFuck?â
âYeah, fuck!â His strong arms envelop you, and you lean into the embrace, resting your cheek against his shoulder. âIs this good news? Are we happy? Does this mean I have a shot at becoming an uncle after all?â
You laugh a little at his eagerness, rubbing gentle circles into his back. âI am happy. I justâI donât know what these changes mean yet.â
Althea steps out of the bathroom, her cane tapping the floor in rhythmic beats. âI already told you what they mean.â
Wade pulls away from you, glaring at her. âYou meddler! Havenât we talked about not eavesdropping? Hasnât life taught you anything after all these decades?â
âUpside of being blind: Iâve never seen this motherfucker in Crocs,â she says, pointing her cane at you, though you know her aim is Wade. âDownside of being blind: I hear everything in this apartment. And you, kid, have a new soulmate.â
âI know what we talked about the other day, but... it doesnât make sense, Al. You only get one soulmate,â you protest, feeling the tension grow as you pace around the table. âWhy canât it just be simple? My friends are getting engaged, years are flying by, and Iâm still out here chasing this⌠this idiot who no one can even find!â
Thatâs when Logan appears, emerging from his room, holding several empty beer cans. He rolls his eyes and walks straight into the kitchen. âGreat. Who else is coming tonight?â
Wade smirks, clapping a hand on Loganâs shoulder as he looks at you. âSweetie, Loganâs going through his second puberty at the ripe old age of two hundred. The pediatrician said itâs just hormones, nothing to worry about. Excuse his shitty attitude.â
With a low groan, Logan shrugs off Wadeâs hand, scowling. If anything, the younger manâs grin just grows bigger. âWolvie, I gotta admit that whole âDonât fall in love with me or Iâll break your heartâ personality shouldnât turn me on, but here we are.â
You decide to take that as your cue to leave. You grab your bag, muttering a quick goodbye to Althea as you head for the door.
But Logan calls after you. âCan we talk?â
You freeze, your back to him. âHow much did you hear?â you ask, not daringânot being ableâto meet his gaze.
âAll of it,â he admits after a beat, and you curse under your breath. âBut it doesnâtâHey!â He follows you into the hallway. âIâm talking to you!â
âNo, youâre not.â You fumble for your keys, fingers shaking as you try to unlock your door. âLeave me alone.â
âI wonât,â he mumbles behind you, his voice softer now. âCome on. Donât be so harsh.â
âI canât believe you,â you whisper, finally finding the right key and jiggling it into the lock. The door swings open, and you step into the safety of your apartment. But when you try to close it, Loganâs foot wedges into the gap, blocking it. âGet out.â
He doesnât budge. âNo.â
âLogan, Iâm not in the mood.â
âWell, me neither. But I owe you an apology.â
You wonder if he realizes the hold he has on you. No matter how hard you try to mask it, the unbearable pounding of your heart betrays you.
Scanning his features, you trace the rugged contours of his face with your eyes, lingering on the lines on his foreheadâthe aftermath of what it looks like a life lived through bitterness and pain.
âCan I come in?â he insists, his tone on the verge of sounding pleading.
You hesitate. The sensible part of you screams to send him away. Thinking that avoiding him would be as easy as stealing candy from a baby is a long-forgotten idea now: youâd been naĂŻve to even consider it possible.
Heâs going to find a way to sneak into your space, your homeâand youâll let him in. Youâll grant him a chance to cross a boundary that shouldâve been already drawn.
It feels like youâre fifteen again, infatuated with the guy you know you shouldnât get close to. Paul from high school wasnât your soulmate back thenâLogan isnât now.
The smart thing would be to take a step back, accept his apology, and ask him to leave. Thatâs how you preserve what little remains of your sanity and protect your heart, which is already hanging by a thread.
But God, it feels so good to be near him.
You step aside. He walks in. Something tells you this wonât be the last time.
âIâm waiting.â You stay near the counter, pressing your back against it, and keeping your distance. Logan sits awkwardly on the edge of your couch, unsure of where to begin.
âLook, about what I said yesterdayâŚI didnât mean it. Iâm sorry.â He sounds sincere, earnest. âI didnât know you believed in soulmates.â
âItâs not a matter of believing in them or not, Logan. My soulmate is out thereâyours too.â
Your words coax a grin from him, and he shakes his head. âI guess weâll never see eye to eye on that.â In a fluid motion, he crosses the room, and you find his unexpected proximity a bit exasperating. âDo you forgive me?â
âIâll think about it.â
âGive me a break, darlinâ. Iâm trying my best.â
âWell, you were an asshole.â
âYes.â
âThe first time we exchanged words.â
âAlso yes.â
âAnd now youâre apologizing.â
âPositive. I just did.â
Itâs not that youâre easyâitâs Loganâs persuasive allure that gets to you.
âWhat else can I do to win your forgiveness?â he wonders aloud, his syrupy voice making you tighten your grip on the counter.
An idea sparks in your mind. You move toward the pile of books next to the TV, eyeing the titles, until one catches your attention: your copy of Jane Eyre by Charlotte BrontĂŤ, one of the first novels youâd read when you were younger.
Itâs adorned with colorful post-its, and the pages, sort of rough to the touch, are marked with handwritten notes in the margins.
âHow do you feel about reading?â
âNot my strongest suit,â he answers, arching a brow as he takes in your enthusiasm. âWhatâs going on in that head of yours?â
âYou want me to believe youâre sorry for what you said? Then read this,â you say, wiggling the book in front of him, âand we can start over.â
âWhat is it about? Let me guess: love and soulmates. Did I get it right?â he asks, playfulness lacing his tone. His breath hitches as you press the book against his chest, silently urging him to take it. His pinky grazes your hand, feeling your skin and sending a jolt through you.
Logan watches you with half-lidded eyes, and it takes every ounce of willpower to tear yourself away from him and his maddening touch.
You clear your throat. âOpen it to page one hundred fifty-three.â
âDo youâyou remember specific pages?â
âAnd read whatâs underlined in black,â you murmur, eyes fluttering closed for an instant. âPlease.â
Logan must mutter something along the lines of âYouâve got to be kidding meâ before searching for it. Itâs only then that he begins to recite the passage:
He is not to them what he is to me. He is not of their kind. I believe he is of mine; â I am sure he is â I feel akin to him â I understand the language of his countenance and movements; though rank and wealth sever us widely, I have something in my brain and heart, in my blood and nerves, that assimilates me mentally to him. Did I say, a few days since, that I had nothing to do with him but to receive my salary at his hands? Did I forbid myself to think of him in any other light than a paymaster? Blasphemy against nature! Every good, true, vigorous feeling I have gathers impulsively round him. I know I must conceal my sentiments: I must smother hope; I must remember that he cannot care much for me. For when I say that I am of his kind, I do not mean that I have his force to influence, and his spell to attract; I mean only that I have certain tastes and feelings in common with him. I must, then, repeat continually that we are for ever sundered: â and yet, while I breathe and think, I must love him.
Youâve chosen a damn good page.
Logan looks up from the book, his mouth slightly parted, as if heâs about to speak. You interject before he can find the words.
âYouâve got a week to read it.â
âHow long is it again?â
âFour hundred pages.â
He surrenders, sighing in defeat. âYouâre killing me here, yâknow?â
âWrite an opinion essay if possible.â
Right there, Logan offers you a mock laugh. âHaha. Thatâs so funny.â
âIt is for me,â you talk back, unable to hide your smile from him, and soon he mirrors your expression.Â
As Logan steps toward the door, he hesitates and glances back. âWeâre all good then?â
Leaning against the doorframe, you raise your chin defiantly. âWeâll be when you finish the book.â
What he says next has your stomach turning into knots. âYouâre trouble.â His tone shiftsâno longer teasing, but grounded in truth. Gone are the jokes; he seems to mean every word.
For the rest of the night, one line from the book doesnât stop echoing in your mindâthe line about soulmates: I have something in my brain and heart, in my blood and nerves, that assimilates me mentally to him.Â
Youâre trouble for him, and heâs trouble for you. You hope he knows it too.
He thought that not seeing you for a week would snuff out his feelings. That by next Wednesday, every thought tied to your name, every urge to uncover the last of your secrets, would be extinguished.
That's what time usually did: it diminished dangerous desires that couldn't afford to be voiced, and buried those longings that had no place in the light of day.
Logan now figures heâs been underestimating the spell you cast on him with just a few glances and the intensity of your eyes. Heâs seen you animated, angryâboth defiant and vulnerable.
Each of your gestures feels like a memory he canât quite place.
The way you laugh, the right corner of your mouth lifting just slightly higher than the leftâhe swears it isnât the first time he's seen a smile brighter than the sun.
Still, he convinces himself itâs all in his head. He must be the one losing his mind, the years finally catching up to him. Itâs the only reasonable explanation for the thoughts that consume his every waking moment.
Heâs wrongâyouâre right. Heâs seeing things where there are noneâyouâre simply too kind.
Too kind. Too young. Too damn clever for your own good, with your books and that sharp mind of yours. He wonders how you see yourself.
Do you like the reflection in the mirror? Are you content with the way your life has turned out?
Do you, too, lie awake at night, the bed stretching endlessly, aching for a touch that never comes?
The walls in this place are paper-thin. When darkness falls, and the moon rises, the big, scary Wolverine canât close his eyes.
Instead, he listens.
Some nights, you play the same movie on repeatâa romantic comedy that lasts exactly one hundred and twenty minutes. For two hours straight, heâs privy to your laughter, your commentary at the characters on the screen.
He hears you cry when the lead couple drifts apart after a terrible argument, but they always find their way back to each other, and you watch every second until the credits roll.
None of the other films you pick ever ends in heartbreak, he realizes. They all have happy endingsâthe kind you wish for yourself.
One way or another, there must be a way to get you out of his system. He knows, without a doubt, that you wouldnât want him. Heâs not your soulmate, and itâs clear that finding that person has become the center of your existence.
Logan canât allow himself to be the moron who derails your purpose.
Sure, heâs done bad things, but he likes to believe that at least a part of himâsome small fractionâhasnât been lost yet. That thereâs a piece of him that can be saved, which is the reason why he stayed here: to be a better man than the one he was in his universe.
But itâs hard. Harder still because itâs you who disrupts his quest for redemption. How is he supposed to go on with his life when every thought circles back to you? The idea of holding you, kissing youâsleeping beside you haunts him.
And so the images blur, new dreams twisting with his usual nightmares.
Which one is worse, he can no longer tell.
One afternoon, while deliberately steering clear of Jane Eyre, he reluctantly turns to Wade in search of answers. âTell me more about her.â
Wade, lounging on the couch, stops scrolling on his phone and drops it onto his chest, drawing his eyebrows together.
âHer? Who do you mean?â His tone oozes with feigned innocence, barely containing a shit-eating grin when Logan grits out your name, his tone rough, almost pained. âOh, Romeo. Youâve got it bad.â
Intending to maintain some semblance of control, Logan strides into the kitchen, grabbing a glass and the last bottle of whiskey. As he tips it, only a few drops fall into the glass.
âNo, I donât,â he says, extending his arm and holding the bottle up. âWeâre out of whiskey.â
âYou keep saying we, but youâre the only alcoholic in this apartment.â Wade kicks off his shoes, propping his feet on the coffee table. âSo, why the sudden interest in the lady? She getting through that tough exterior of yours? Iâll give her points for that.â
âAnd you wonder why I donât talk to you.â
âI saw the book,â the younger man replies, lacing his fingers behind his head, watching as Logan rummages through the fridge with increasing frustration. âYou never told me you were into classics. If Iâd known, Iâd have gotten you a copy of Pride and Prejudice.â
âShut your mouth.â
âIâm sorry, werenât you the one who came to me, looking for the essential oil of truth?â
The silence that follows is thick and uncomfortable, mood-killing.
âSee what I just did there?â he adds, and Logan feels forced to shake his head from side to side, appearing conflicted. Wade lets out a low huff. âThat was Virginia Woolf. Add her to your reading list.â
âHas anyone ever told you how obnoxious you are?â
âMore times than I can count. Iâm just not everyoneâs cup of coffee.â
âTea, Wade. Not everyoneâs cup of tea.â
âWhatever.â Wade simpers, as though Loganâs correction is the punchline to a joke only he gets. He sets his palms flat on the table, looming closer with a mischievous glint in his eyes. âSo, what would you like to know about my dear friend?â
Logan hesitates, the weight of his question heavy on his tongue. âWhatâs the deal with her scars?â
The air shifts. Wadeâs playful expression fades and he tilts his head, his tone turning serious. âI donât think itâs my story to tell,â he begins, gaze dropping to the floor. âBut she lost them years ago. She was living a normal life, and one day, they were justâgone, like they were never there. It broke her. We didnât know each other back then, but youâve seen her.â
Wadeâs eyes flick back up, while Logan stands there, tongue-tied. âYou even know the kind of books she readsânothing can shake that belief in real love, in soulmates being destined. Imagine how she mustâve felt when she found out her presumed soulmate was dead⌠without a single warning.â
From what he had heard, that sense of loss was impossible to put into words. Those whoâd gone through it described the experience as if half of youâyour body, your soul, your very essenceâwas being ripped away.
The pain was excruciating, and the only way to survive it was by means of tolerating itâno remedy, just the endurance to outlast the agony.
It wasnât just a momentary hurt. It was the kind of torment that lingered, making you question who you were and what little remained of you.
You and Logan had more in common than heâs willing to admit.
âSheâs a good person,â he mutters absent-mindedly, his thumb grazing the cover of the book. He had carried it everywhere for a week now, without even cracking it open.
âOh, you dirty pigâŚâ Wade whispers, his eyes lighting up as if a lightbulb suddenly went off in his mind. âNow I get it. You wanna know her. Like, really know her!â
âI donâtââ
âYour sex life is none of my business. Iâm all up for you putting your mutant dick to work, otherwise itâs just wasted potential. But itâs my friend weâre talking about.â
Loganâs jaw tightens, and he snaps. âDrop the speech, alright? Iâm not trying to get into her pants. I just want to be nice. Thatâs all.â
âNice, huh? Whatâs your version of nice? Starting a two-person book club?â Wade stifles a laugh, pressing a finger to Loganâs chest. âLook, if you want to sleep with her, and the feelingâs mutual, then go for it. Just tell me thisâhow longâs it been since you visited Pussy Village? Was it before or after the Big Bang?â
Things are never truly serious with Wade Wilson. âIâm not answering that.â
Wade raises both hands in surrender, still chuckling. âFine, fine. But if youâre really interested, just be clear about it. She doesnât need a half-assed situationship.â
By now, itâs like a mantra he repeats again and again, hoping that eventually both Wade and he will start to believe it. âI donât want to have sex with her.â
As he heads back to his (now Wadeâs old) room, Wade adds, âIâm sure sheâd appreciate it if you underlined some quotes you like.â
Much to his dismay, thatâs exactly what Logan does.
His handwriting isnât the most legible, but he tries his best, leaving notes in the margins of some pages, such as:
I hate this John kid.
Her aunt is a cunt.
This is too cheesy.
Mr. Rochesterâs married?
St. Johnâwhat a prick.
He finishes the book at 7 a.m. A long-ass bookâjust for you. While getting ready for work, Wade calls him an unemployed fucker, and Logan knows nothing better than to shoot back a similar insult, stretching his arms as the first rays of sunlight creep through the curtains.
Wade was right about something, even if Logan himself doesnât wish to admit it: heâs behaving like a teenagerâstaying up until dawn, practically chained to the bed without daring to go out. Falling for a girl he didnât know a week ago.
Learning to control his impulses has been a hard task, especially with his temperament. Over the years, Logan thought heâd mastered the art of self-restraint, long past the point where his body moved without his mindâs permission.
As his feet carry him down the hall toward your apartment, he recognizes how wrong he is.
This is a terrible idea, he thinks. And yet, his fist knocks on the wood. Three times.
Fuck.
The door opens just a crack. You peek out, your face barely visible, eyes puffy from sleep. âLogan?â
His name isnât a fancy one. Itâs pretty normal, pretty standard. There must be a thousand other guys named like himâyet itâs only when you say it, your voice turning it into something rare and unique, that it feels different, like itâs only his.
The tone you use with him isnât the one heâs used to: Logan, youâre a disappointment. Logan, how dare you turn your back on your friends? Logan, theyâre all dead. Logan, itâs your fault.
Yours is inviting, and warm, and new. He likes new.
âI just finished it,â he answers, holding up the book, mindful not to grip it too tight as not to crumple the pages.
You scratch the back of your head, blinking at him. âYou just finished it⌠at 7 a.m.?
Yeah, it sounds stupid now that you say it out loud, but itâs true. Hoping his reaction is enough to explain what he canât put into words, he gives you a slow nod.
This time, you donât wait for him to say more. âCome in?â
Yes, this is what heâs been looking forward all week. This moment, this interaction.
This Come in. This Yes, thank you. Youâre so kind.
His quiet acceptance of your invitation, the unpronounced thought of I donât deserve this, but I canât back off now, because how could I ever say no to you?
He follows you into the kitchen as you move to make tea. âWant some?â you ask, but he declines the offer. If he were to drink anything right now, it would be something much stronger, not tea, despite the early hour. âYouâre here to talk about the book?â
âWell, you told me I could come back after reading it.â
âI did,â you say, a small smile tugging at your lips as you hide it behind your mug. âI just wasnât expecting you to be so punctual.â
You donât need to know that heâs been counting down the seconds, marking each minute in his mind since the last time he saw you. Thatâs a detail heâll keep to himself. âItâs a good story.â
âTell me about it.â You smile even wider, and he takes a moment to absorb the details of your faceâthe crinkles by your eyes, the way your nose scrunches when youâre amused. âI lent you my most precious book. Fell in love with it years ago.â
âI can see why you liked it,â he explains, flipping through the pages to find the one he marked. âAll the romance and the yearningââ
âHey, itâs also good for other reasons,â you try to defend yourself, but any other argument dies on your lips when he finds the passage he was looking for and begins to read aloud.
âI sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you, especially when you are near me, as now,â he recites, his voice lower, almost reverent, as he looks up from the page to meet your gaze. âIt is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your frame.â
You seem startled by the sharp sound of him closing the book. Heâs sort of breathless, and from where he stands, he can tell you are too. âThatâs one of my favorite passages.â
âI canât blame you for believing in soulmates if this is the kind of thing you read growing up,â he teases, handing the book back to you.
Though a part of him almost wishes he didnât have toâso that it would still be a reason, a tether, pulling him back to you again and again.
Grinning, you take it, your eyes remaining trained on his. âI happen to notice it hasnât changed your perspective on soulmates.â
âItâll take more than a book.â
âThis is, in my opinion, one of the best love stories ever written. How else will I convince you?â
âWhy do you feel like you need to convince me?â He takes a step forwardâyou take a step back. âWhy canât it be the other way around? I might end up being the one who convinces you.â
âYou could never,â you respond, clasping your hands behind your back. âIt would be like convincing me the sky is green instead of blue.â
Logan retreats slightly. âDonât you get tired?â
âOf what?â
âOf waiting. Of always being on the lookout.â
You donât react badly to his question. Youâre not even shaken, not fazed in the slightest. âWhen I meet him, Iâll know all the waiting was worth it.â
âAnd in the meantime?â Logan inquires, pressing himself further into your intimacy, edging closer as if testing the boundaries youâre willing to cross. His words are a subtle request for more, for answers. âWhat will you do until you find him?â
If you ever do, he thinks, but itâs left unsaid, lingering in his thoughts. Heâs getting better at not saying the things that sit heavy in his chest without thinking.
âI think you misunderstand, Logan.â You study him through your lashes, and he feels heâs become the keeper of your most sacred secrets. âItâs not about waiting as if my lifeâs on pause. Iâve been with other people. But in the end, I want to choose him.â
That casual admission strikes him like a wave of cold water. A flicker of jealousy burns at the edges of his composure, though he tries to smother it.
Iâve been with other people, you say, your tone so nonchalant, and yet the mental images that flood his mind are anything but comfortable.
He imagines someone else standing in your kitchen. Perhaps in five minutes, there will be another man knocking on your door, here to discuss a book, and it wonât be him.
Perhaps this isnât rare for youâall this come in, grab something to drink, letâs talk when youâre done reading.
Perhaps heâs not as important as you make him feel.
His thoughts spiral until your voice pulls him back from the brink.
âDonât you understand how beautiful it is?â Thereâs a dazzling glint in your expression, a light in your eyes that makes him ache. âOutside of these four walls, thereâs a person whoâs waiting to meet me, in the same way I expect to meet him. I canât grant myself the choice not to believe in something like this.â
Far from easing the martyr in his mind, this conversation only deepens his internal struggle. The questions overlap each other: what happens if you never find him? Would you ever consider settling for somebody else?
He rephrases that last oneâwould you ever consider being with him?
âHeâs a lucky guy,â Logan murmurs, and just like that, he feels himself slipping deeper, falling into the rabbit hole with you guiding him through the madness.
For a moment, he can pretendâpretend that matching scars and bonds that defy the rules of his principles make sense.
Maybe, just for you, heâll allow himself to believe it.
Your eyes soften with sudden emotion, glistening with the beginnings of tears. He feels the primal urge to reach out, to cup your cheek, to be there when the first tear falls. âYou think so?â you ask, your voice fragile.
I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you, especially when you are near me, as now.
âOf course I do,â he replies, his tone quiet but laden with a strange, undeniable truth.
It is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your frame.
Whatever this is between youâitâs messed up. Heâs messed up. And you⌠youâre just as tangled in this chaos for indulging it, for looking at him in that way that calls out to him.
The more time he spends with you, the less he feels like himself. Everything heâs done latelyâreading that damn book, standing in your apartment at 7 a.m.ânone of it feels like something heâd do.
Itâs not just his mind youâre messing with: itâs his very sense of self.
Loganâs smart mouth had always been a liability, getting him into trouble either by saying too much or by choosing the wrong words. Bad things had always followed in the wake of his tongue.
Somehow, when it comes to you, heâs the most careful heâs ever been. He doesnât want to upset you, nor does he want to be the cause of any sorrow that might affect your heart.
When the two of you stand at the threshold once more, just as you have other times before, you softly say: âI feel like Iâm experiencing a dĂŠjĂ vu.â
He laughs, because it sounds ridiculous. âCare to explain why?â
âYou come, we talk, you leave.â You lean against the wall, your hand ghosting over the handle. âBut you never stay that long.â
Thereâs no mistaking the layered meaning in your words. You, who work with language and its peculiarities for a living, never speak by chanceâevery phrase, every pause, carries an assigned weight. The double meaning in your statement doesnât escape either of you.
Youâre a natural at this madness, diving headfirst into it. You must be losing it, too, because your actions donât match what you said before.
Slowly, his fingers brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear, the perfect excuse to feel your skin, to close the distance without saying what he actually wants.
They say food and shelter are the basic human needs, but Logan chooses to believe they forgot to include the longing to reach out and just feel you.
âI canât stay,â he finally responds to your earlier comment, his hand still lingering against your skin.
His strengthâthe only thing saving him from completely giving inâhelps him pull himself away.
Before the impulse to kiss you becomes too overwhelming to resist, Logan leaves.
Some time later, youâre making lunch, music playing softly in the background at the same time the cityâs distinct noise finds a way to break through your tranquility.
You rely greatly on the knowledge that youâre good at multitaskingânow more than ever, with a book in one hand and the other stirring the pasta on the stove.
The warmth from the pot rises around you, but you trust yourself not to be careless. Not to be stupid enough to burn yourself with the boiling water.
This time, you miscalculate. Not only do you dip the wooden spoon into the pot, but your fingertips too.
Though it only lasts a second, and the voice in your head instantly screams Hot! Hot! Hot!, the shock makes you drop the book to the floor. You yank your hand back, racing to the sink to run it under cold water.
âFuck,â you grumble, watching the skin redden in protest. âLesson learned: no more multitasking.â
The funny thing is, just a door away, Loganâs watching a movie with Wade when he feels a sting in the tips of his fingers.
Itâs barely there, practically faint, but he looks down, inspecting his hand like it doesnât belong to his own body. His skin briefly flushes with irritation before returning to its normal state.
Wade notices his distraction. âHey, you okay?â
Logan pays no mind to it. âSure. Just felt something strange.â
Is it still called avoiding if youâre both doing it? Youâd like to think so.
For the sake of clarity, letâs say youâve been actively avoiding Logan, but truth be toldâheâs been avoiding you too. That last encounter in your apartment didnât help matters at all.
If anything, it made everything worse.
Youâve been down this road before, knowing men like him too well: theyâre everywhere, until theyâre not.
One day, they vanish without a trace, leaving you staring at the empty space they used to occupy, asking yourself âWhat happened to my Prince Charming in disguise?â
They disappear as though they never existed, and not even the best detective can track them down.
So far, your avoidance strategy has worked wonders. Maybe itâs for the best. Heâs a distractionâan undeniably attractive one, the kind anyone would want to trip over.
Yet you miss him, which is dumb: why are you missing someone you were never supposed to care about in the first place?
You return home after a long trip to the grocery store, arms laden with bags. Itâs the kind of errand that exhausts you, though you keep telling yourself itâs better than thinking about him.
As you struggle to get through the building's exit, you resign yourself to the fact that itâll take several trips to bring everything up to your apartment.
Then the elevator doors slide open, and you drop everything to the floor.
You shouldâve known better than to assume victory so soon. After days of successfully avoiding him, there he is.
And of course, itâs when you look your worstâtired from running around, weighed down by groceries, barely holding it together.
âHey,â he greets you, standing just outside the elevator, like heâs not sure if he should step inside or stay where he is. Heâs dressed in a red-and-black flannel shirt, layered over a white vest, a leather jacket tossed over his shoulders, and a pair of jeans that seem made for him.
He looks... ridiculously good.
âHi,â you manage to answer after a beat, scrambling to collect the bags youâd dropped. âJustâgive me a second.â
âLet me help you,â Logan says, ducking down to gather the groceries, but you pull them away.
âIâve got it. Are you going out? On a date, maybe?â You nod toward his clothes, trying to keep things light, teasing even.
Glancing down at himself, a crease appears between his brows, and in one swoop, he gathers all the bags with a single hand. âIâm supposed to meet Wade at a bar, but heâll survive without me.â
âLogan, you donâtââ
But heâs already moving, one hand tugging you out of the elevator, the other gesturing toward your apartment.
âNot up for debate,â he mutters. Then, without waiting for permission, he holds out his hand. âKeys.â
Sighing, you dig into your pocket and drop them into his open palm. He unlocks the door with practiced ease, stepping inside and placing the bags on your kitchen counter.
As he starts to unpack them, you stop him. âYou really donât need to do that.â
That seems to catch his attention. He pauses, turning toward you with his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the counter.
His unrelenting stare sizes you up, and he cocks his head to the side. âHavenât seen you in a while.â
He thinks heâs so discreet, so smooth. âWell, Iâve been busy,â you explain, fiddling with the frayed edge of your sweater, tugging at it like it might unravel your nerves.
You hear him click his tongue. âBeen busy too.â His words hang in the air, thickening the atmosphere. Your body tenses, and you stare at his shoes, untilâ âSweetheart,â he calls you softly, and your eyes snap shut for a moment, your chin almost pressing against your chest. âMy eyes are up here.â
A quick flutter of your lashes brings you back to him, and your chest tightens with the effort it takes to look into his eyes. âDonât you have somewhere to be?â you ask, praying heâll let this go.
You watch as his mouth twitches with something halfway between a smile and a smirk. âYou already want me to leave?â
âIf you have plans, then yeah.â
He huffs out a laugh, inhaling a shallow breath like youâve missed something obvious. âWade can wait. Heâll be fine.â His expression shifts, and the playful tone in his voice falls away, replaced by something more raw. âYouâve been avoiding me.â
You canât help but snort. âOh, please. Like you havenât been doing the same.â You walk over to the couch, feeling your legs wobble beneath you. You collapse into one corner, hoping the distance will help you breathe.
Like a shadow, Logan follows after you, sitting far too close. His legs splay wide, so wide theyâre almost grazing yours.
âAt least I have a reason for it. What about you?â His hand reaches out, fingers closing around yours in a grip thatâs both firm and gentle, enhancing your anxiety. Your throat tightens, the room shrinking around you. âI need you to tell me Iâm not crazy,â he says, his voice rough and low. âI need you to tell me you feel it too.â
Panic flares in your chest, and you scramble for time. âI donât know what youâre talking about,â you mutter, but your voice cracks, the uncertainty leaking through the cracks in your bravado.
He doesnât buy your acting. âYou do. We canât keep playing dumb. Youâre gonna make me lose my fuckinâ mind one of these days.â
Itâs not just his wordsâitâs the way he stands so close, heat radiating from his body, the roughness of his hand gripping yours like heâs terrified youâll slip away.
The intensity of it all weighs on you in ways you canât even begin to describe, leaving you breathless, caught between denial and desire.
âLogan, this isnâtââ
âWhat? Okay?â Thereâs a glimpse of mirthlessness in his tone as he speaks, his forehead furrowing. âI canât stay away from you, donât you see it? It feels too good to be wrong,â he utters, inching forward. You know you should take a step back, tell him to stop. Nothing good can come from this. âIt takes two to feel these things. It canât be just me.â
âThat doesnât mean we have to give in.â Blood pounds in your ears, your pulse racing as your heart hammers unpleasantly. Little shivers of ice run through your spine, and yet, your stomach burns with desire.
More than ever, you feel yourself slipping, your sanity at risk.
Logan runs his eyes up and down your face, agitated, almost going cross-eyed. âEarlier you asked if I was going on a date. Would you like that? Me being with other people? Kissing another woman?â His hot breath caresses your cheek, and you avert your gaze momentarily. âAnswer me.â
Donât do it. For the love of God, donât. âI canâtâI donâtââ
âCome on, baby.â
âI donât want you to be with other people,â you mumble, your lips almost grazing his, and thatâs all he needs to grip your chin and pull you into a kiss.
His mouth moves hungrily over yours, pushing you back until the armrest digs into your lower back. A choked whimper gets lost in your throat, and you bring him closer by grabbing onto the lapels of his jacket, your chest pressing against his.
Logan bites down on your lip, soothing the sting with his tongue, and the moan you let out reverberates in the apartment.
âThis is what you were hiding from me?â he rasps, his forehead bumping against yours. âThese sweet sounds you make?â
You end up perched in his lap, your thighs bracketing his hips. Heâs hard beneath you, and as you shift, your center makes contact with his erection through the layers of fabric.
Both of you sigh into each otherâs mouths, your hips moving on their own accord, rocking slightly against his clothed cock. He hooks one of his arms around your waist, guiding your movements.
Everything seems to fall into place. Outside your window, birds chirp. The world feels lighter, like a better place. The beast inside you quiets, and for once, your mind is blissfully blank.
Logic? Error 404ânot found.
You tug at his hair, and Logan growls, breaking the kiss. âDo that again.â He jerks under your touch, bucking up into you. Encouraged, you pull his hair again, fingers wrapping around a strand at the nape of his neck, and youâre rewarded with a deep groan.
Heâs dizzy for it, but youâre no better, not when he trails his kisses down your neck, his mouth latching onto your skin, tasting the sweat and salt.
âI canât control myself around you,â he murmurs, groping your tits, and you wail, the ache between your legs becoming intolerable. His hands slip under your sweater, caressing the scars on your back.
Thatâs when recognition settles over you.
What are you doing? And why are you doing it?
He ceases sucking your flesh when you go rigid on top of him. Pecking your lips once again, Loganâs hands cradle your face, his thumbs rubbing circles on your cheeks. âWhatâs wrong?â
You donât understand how he does it, how he can remain so calm. Doesnât he realize the gravity of this? âWe have to stop.â
âWhy?â
âDonât ask me something you already know the answer to.â
His arms drop to his sides, releasing you from his hold. You push yourself off him, away from the couch, putting as much distance between you as you can.
Pressing your palms to your eyes, you shake your head. âGod, Iâm stupid. This is stupid.â
Your reaction seems to get on his nerves, his frustration somehow increasing. Logan stands, towering over you. âWas it stupid when you were dry humping me?â
âFuck you, Logan.â
âIâm not the bad guy here. You kissed me back.â He doesnât let up, trailing behind you as you try to escape. âYou want me as much as I want you.â
âWill you stop saying that?â you bark, throwing your arms in the air. Your chest rises and falls with rapid breaths. âYeah, we like each other. So? Does that make it right? How can you just ignore how wrong this is?â
His expression hardens, anger flashing in his eyes. âForget your idea of what's good and bad. You're just upset you can't control what you feel.â
âHeâs closer than ever.â
Logan gawks at you, his voice bitter as he goes on with his rambling. âThat fucker again? Donât you ever get tired of talking about someone who you donât even know? Because youâre certainly wearing me out.â
âYou wish you were him, donât you?â You jab your finger into his chest, feeling his heartbeat, a flutter you choose to ignore. âYou want to be my soulmate.â
âDamn right I do,â he practically spits his words, narrowing his eyes at you. âBut Iâm not him.â
âNo. Youâre not.â
Everything seems to fall out of place. Outside your window, birds donât chirpâthey scream for mercy. The world doesnât feel lighter, but heavier. The beast inside you roars back to life, restless and louder than ever, while your mind spins in chaos.
âWe shouldnât see each other anymore.â Your voice pierces through the thick silence in the room, and you swallow down the lump forming in your throat.
âIf thatâs what you want,â he replies, his jaw clenched tight, irritation radiating off him in waves.
âItâs what we both need.â
âSpeak for yourself. I donât have a soulmate.â His tone is biting, but you donât miss the undercurrent of longing in his words. âBut if in any other universe I do, I hope itâs you.â
Your hand turns the knob, and then heâs halfway out the door, sparing you one last glance before he turns his back to you.
No more visits. No more books. No more bruising kisses that leave you questioning your mere existence.
Let things stay as they areâitâs safer that way. You donât want to know the reason behind this forceful need.
After all, being his grumpy and ill-tempered self, heâll stay holed up in Wadeâs apartment, avoiding any interaction with the real world. And you? Youâll forget about him. Easy-peasy.
It didnât go well in the end.
You remember your first heartbreakâseventeen, fresh out of high school. One of your hands clutched a million dreams, and the other, a pillow soaked with your tears.
Your mother remained by your side, caressing your back, attempting to soothe the sobs that racked your body. She murmured that itâd pass, that you wouldnât feel like this forever. You believed her then, and trusted that things would eventually be okay.
Almost ten years later, another heartbreak shouldnât come as a surprise. By now, you thought you wouldâve developed the tools to survive it. You should be able to piece yourself back together by instinct.
But life, as it turns out, has a peculiar way of catching you off guard.
Whether itâs pent-up horniness, touch-starvation, or genuine affectionâit doesn't change the fact that your pseudo-relationship with Logan fell apart.
Though youâre not the one whoâs suffering the most. Neither is Logan.
Wade, the third party in this tangled mess, has somehow taken it the hardest.
âI feel like a child of divorce,â he says, his head resting on your lap, eyes distant as they fixate on the peeling wallpaper. âYou need to do something about that.â
âIâll take care of it next month.â
Heâs supposed to be the one supporting you, but it feels like the roles are reversedâyouâre comforting him, letting him vent.
âMy two favorite people now canât even be in the same room. What are we gonna do for Christmas? New Year's Eve?â Straightening up, he grabs the nearest cushion and buries his face into it to muffle a defeated scream. âDamn it, Cupid! You had one job!â
All in all, Wadeâs emotionally unavailable at the moment, grieving your separation from Logan as if it were his own loss, too caught up in his melodrama to be of any real help.
Meanwhile, you fill your days with work, books, anything to keep your mind occupied.
You go to bed too late, you wake up too early. Sleep too little, cry too much.
One thing stays constantâyou and Logan donât talk. Stolen glances in the hallway, awkward elevator ridesâthose are the only remnants of whatever you once were. Back to being strangers again.Â
Well, not really. Strangers donât know the route to your mouth the way he does.
The ache lingers every day. Missing him when youâre awake is a common occurrence. At night, as you toss and turn beneath the sheets, he stars in your dreams. You canât recall the last time he wasnât lodged in your thoughts.Â
Where there used to be ideas, creativity, and plots worth scribbling down, thereâs now only Loganâa man destined to problematize your stay on earth.
That fucker again? Donât you ever get tired of talking about someone who you donât even know? Because youâre certainly wearing me out.
And yet, despite all of it, you continue to prioritize someone else. Someone who isnât even here. Clung to the idea of a soulmate, you chose him over Logan.
What did he expect? For you to abandon your principles, your belief in destiny? Itâs who you are. Nearly thirty years of life guided by one belief canât just be discarded like trash.
You liked to separate things into categories: good and bad, right and wrong. A simple method to structure everything, to make sense of your world, and it has worked most of the time.
But now? The limits of those sacred categories look blurred. Your judgment feels unreliable, and you wonder if the choices youâve made lately have been the correct ones.
Each of your decisions seems to be leading you further down a path you canât recognize.Â
Whatâs the goal? Finding your soulmate, the voice in your head mockingly answers for the hundredth time, rolling its imaginary eyes. And where is he?
Youâve shut Logan out, a man whoâs made it clear he has feelings for you, for this elusive person. Isnât it time he steps into the light at long last?
This is what you fear the most: loneliness.
You donât want to be the lone woman who sits by herself in a cafe, drawing pity from waitresses who discuss her solitude. By no means do you wish to be that friend who dispenses wise dating advice, but goes home to an empty bed. You refuse to become the godmother whose hand no one holds when her time comes.
No, this canât be all fate has to offer to you. There must be more. If your life were a book, youâd be flipping through the pages to the last chapter, desperate to see how it ends.
Or, better yet, youâd grab a pen and rewrite it yourself. What kind of ending youâll haveâyouâre not so sure about that.
Itâs Sunday, one of those endless weekends where the only way to survive is by rearranging your entire apartment. You could manage it alone, but help would be niceâWadeâs help, to be more precise, would be perfect for this kind of task, and you find yourself knocking on his door.Â
No answer. Deciding to dial his number to see if heâs fallen asleep, you try calling him, waiting through the rings until he finally picks up. âHey.â
Except itâs not Wadeâs voice that answers. âIâm sorry, who is this?â
The door swings open, and Logan appears right behind it, holding Wadeâs phone to his ear.
He narrows his eyes, leaning against the frame, a single eyebrow lifted in curiosity. âHow sad. You donât remember what I sound like.â
You feel foolish for still being on the call, so you lock your phone, ending it. âWhereâs Wade?â you ask, frowning as you hold your breath, your voice sharper than intended.
âOut and about. Didnât tell me where he was going,â Logan replies, glaring at you as he raises the phone to your face. âHe left without this.â
Abort mission! Nodding in agreement, you begin to step back. âGreat, Iâll look for him later.â
Youâre close to being locked up once again in the safety of your apartment when you hear him: âYou need anything?â
Itâs the most heâs said to you in weeks. You hesitate, keeping your back turned. âIâm moving some heavy stuff around. Thought I could use the help.â
âI could do it.â
No. Not really. Heâs doing that thing againâoffering help when you know you shouldnât accept it. You shake your head.
âItâs not necessary,â you say, forcing a casual tone.
âDoesnât have to mean anything,â he retorts, his footsteps heavy and deliberate as they draw closer. With each passing second, your options shrink, leaving you no room for retreat. âDonât worry. I wonât try to kiss you again if thatâs whatâs got you all worked up.â
âIâm not worked up,â you hiss, and he sidesteps you easily, his arm nudging yours.
The electricity is still there, undeniable, but neither of you has the courage to acknowledge it, acting as though itâs an ordinary occurrence.
His eyes roam the room, like heâs forgotten what your apartment looked like. He pauses by the bookshelf, his fingers gliding over the spine of Jane Eyre, and a low whistle escapes him as he slips it back into place.Â
You, frozen at the threshold, feel your irritation simmering just beneath the surface, and the urge to hide in your bedroom only becomes stronger.
After this, youâll have to burn your favorite book. What a pity.
âWhat do you want me to do?â he asks, hooking his fingers into the loops of his jeans, his posture both confident and annoyingly relaxed.
Thereâs a challenge in his tone, and he acts as if youâre the one who pulled him into this situationâlike he didnât worm his way in here.
You gesture toward the couch. âCan you put it by the window?â
He sets to work, moving the smaller pieces of furniture aside to make space for the couch. Under no circumstances are you going to just stand there and watch him sweat.
Instead, you busy yourself with the long-forgotten glasses and cups gathering dust in one of the kitchen cabinets, each one glinting with past disappointments.
Wetting a towel, you start by wiping the rims. The air feels heavily charged with uneasiness, but you're relieved that for once, you can breathe without feeling like youâre on the brink of a heart attack.
You can already imagine Wadeâs face when you tell himâ
âSo,â Loganâs voice cuts through the silence, startling you, âhowâs the search going? Got any luck?â
His words have the desired effect on you, and the glass slips from your grasp, shattering against the floor in a crash that mirrors the jump of your heart. You curse under your breath, stepping back from the mess, taking in the shards sprawled around your shoes.
âBe careful,â he says from the other side of the room, still dragging the furniture into place, and you scrutinize him over your shoulder, your brows knitted.
âI donât need your advice,â you murmur through gritted teeth as you crouch to pick up the larger shards. His attention returns to the couch, but you guess heâs not technically thinking how nice of a person you are.
As you kneel, your hands tremble slightly, and you wonder when that started. You fumble for a larger shard of glass, bracing your hand against the floor for balance, unaware of the smaller piece lying dangerously close to your fingers.
The sting comes fast, slicing through the skin of your pinky. You flinch, raising your hand, and Logan, hearing the faint wince, abandons his task and crosses the room to you.
"I donât need your advice," he echoes, mocking your tone as he squats beside you, his hand closing around yours to inspect the wound. "Youâre bleeding."
âBrilliant observation, Sherlock. I hadnât noticedââ The words die in your throat, your eyes widening as you take a closer look at his hand. âWait, why are you bleeding?â
He snorts, diverting his attention to his own hand. âWhat do you mean Iâmââ Whatever it is he intended to shoot back remains unsaid as both of you stare down at the small cut in his pinky.
Driven by instinct, you place your hands side by side, your finger grazing his. The cuts are identical: same place, same width, same depth. The only difference is his vanishes within seconds, leaving only a few droplets of crimson blood as evidence.
Logan couldnât have cut himself. He was nowhere near the glass. âAre youâŚ?â You swallow thickly, trying to string together a coherent thought, dizziness making its triumphant appearance. âAre you thinking what Iâm thinking?â
âYes.â
âAnd what is thatââ
âI need a drink.â
âCan you stop acting like a dick for one second?â You peer into his glossy eyes, watching him try to avoid your gaze, though he canât seem to resist. âPlease, Logan. Look at me.â
When he does, his mouth parts as if to speak, then closes again. âI donât understand. I thought I didnât have a soulmate.â His gruff tone slows even further, like he's straining to push the words from his lungs. âI thoughtâI thought I was alone.â
It explains so much: how your scars had reappeared once he and Wade returned from The Void.Â
The instant attraction, the yearning to be near him.
The dread that washed over you each time he walked away.
The dreams that plagued your nights, and the tightness in your chest these past few weeks that made you wonder if you could ever coexist in the same space as him without breaking apart.
All those times you felt he was getting closer werenât just a figment of your imaginationâhe was, in fact, right there.
But he wasnât just anyoneâit was him. Logan is your soulmate. You two are meant to be together. How long would it take for you to truly believe it? Until it no longer sounded like something too good to be true?
Without uttering a sound, Logan gazes at you, silently pleading to see them. To see your scars. You extend your arm, and with a gentle motion, he rolls up the sleeve of your shirt, revealing the marks etched into your skin.
He runs his fingers along the lines, trying to understand the bond you now shareâboth his and yours.
In a sense, youâre his. You carry his scars, the physical manifestation of the life he has lived. Even though he may not bear any of his own, you do, and thatâs more than enough.
He belongs to you just as much as you belong to him.
âThere are more,â you tell him. your voice barely above a whisper. He stands, offering you his hand, and you take it, rising to your feet. Logan inches closer, his mouth hovering just above yours, his large hand coming up to cup your cheek.
The look he gives you is one reserved for those he loves, a look filled with such warmth and affection that it almost feels dreamlike.
âDo you want me to see them?â he inquires, and all he needs is a nod from you to gently tug your shirt up your chest and over your head.
He lets out a dry chuckle when you attempt to tame your hair, the effort proving to be in vain. The clock on the wall seems to pause its ticking the moment his fingers begin to trail each of the scars that captures his gaze.
You canât even begin to fathom what thoughts might be swirling in his mind, but if the flicker of lust and desire you catch in his expression is anything to go by, youâre not so worried.
Loganâs touch carries an unexpected softness, a tenderness you never imagined a man like him could possess.
Deep down, you wish he understood that these scars donât hurt, that they never have. âIâm okay,â you reassure him, prompting him to explore more of your skin, to claim you as his.
âDo you⌠like them?â he asks without meeting your eyes.
Do you like my scars? is the real question hidden underneath.
Do you like me? is the one he canât bring himself to pronounce.
âTheyâre yours. I could never not like them.âÂ
Before you stands a man you once believed was meant to be your burden, your trial. Logan had been the earthquake sent to test your endurance, to see how much you could withstand before surrendering and waving the white flag.
The same fingers that once imprinted his mark on you now linger on the strap of your bra, waiting for you to decide whether to let him go further or stop.
Desire has a limit before it overwhelms. Thereâs only so much need a person can contain before it spills over, uncontrollable and raw.
This game, one you never learned how to play, feels as foreign to him as it does to youâneither of you knows the rules.
âCan I see more?â Heâs still talking about the scars, still fumbling with the strap, and you nod, your eyelids growing droopier as you take his free hand and direct it to the front of your jeans.
He catches the hint, undoing the button with ease, allowing you to shed the last layers of restraint.
Bare, moments away from being completely naked, standing in stark contrast to Logan, who remains fully clothed, your stomach does a flip as he rubs his thumb along the sides of your underwear.
Leaning your forehead against his shoulder, you stifle a sigh when he splays his hand across your lower back, pulling you closer.
His rough grip tightens on your ass, testing the feel of you, while your breathing becomes shallow, erratic.
âWhat is it, honey?â He slides his fingers your stomach, just below your belly button, brushing a small scar in there. âWant me to touch you?â
âYes,â you croak, the plea slipping out involuntarily, throwing your arms around his neck. He buries his face against your jaw, his lips parting against your skin, trailing open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your neck.
You tilt your head back, exposing more of your throat to him, breathless as you whisper: âIâve waited so long.â
He moves toward the couch, and you follow, trying to anticipate what heâs got planned for you. âI know, baby. I know. Youâve waited long enough.â Guiding your body down, he has you lying horizontally on the sofa. He unhooks your bra, kneading your breasts with both hands, eliciting a ragged gasp from you. âBut Iâm here now. You donât have to wait any longer,â he huffs by your ear, rolling your nipples between his fingers, his breath mingling with yours, each exhale warm and inviting. âGonna let me make you feel good? Show you how much Iâve been thinkinâ about you?â
Instead of answering with real words, you surge forward, crashing your lips against with his, reveling in the way he cages you with his biceps, locking you up in a prison of desire from which you never wish to break free. He tries not to settle his full weight on top of you, attentive not to crush you.
As he nips at the column of your throat, you squirm beneath him, canting your hips up to seek the friction you crave.
He presses his knee against your center and you push back, grinding against him with an animalistic urgency.
You canât recall ever feeling this desperate, this overwhelmed by a man. But then again, heâs unlike any other youâve encountered in your array of momentary hookups.
His kisses grow even more insistent as breathy moans roll off to your tongue, merging with the occasional creak of the couch beneath your movements.
Logan spreads your thighs wider, sinking to his knees on the floor to tug your lower half forward until your ass is almost hanging in the air. He places your thighs on his shoulders, supporting you as he leans in to pepper your soft flesh with kisses.
One can be certain that heâs marking your inner thighs with a hickey or two, the scratch of his beard feeling magnificent against your sensitive skin, and you can hardly bring yourself to think about the potential burn heâll leave behind. Logan inhales your scent, the tip of his nose dangerously close to your cunt, and you tangle a hand in his hair as he continues to test your patience.
âEager?â he wonders aloud, looking at you through his lashes. While maintaining eye contact, he presses a kiss to your clit through the fabric of your panties.
He does it again, and you bite your lip hard enough to draw blood, his fingers deftly pulling your underwear down your legs.
The first drag of his tongue along your folds has you scrunching your eyebrows in pleasure, tightening your grip on his hair. Logan moans against you, the sound muffled as he dips the tip of his tongue into your entrance, lapping at your arousal with an insatiable hunger.
The way you purr his nameâa soft caress, a pat on his back that says Yeah, youâre doing fineâonly spurs him on, infusing every one of his ministrations with fervor.
His longing for you radiates in the intensity of his touch, sending shivers through you, making you writhe because of his hands alone.
Your core throbs. Your skin prickles with electricity. Your legs quake on either side of his face. Heâs hungry and youâre his feast. Heâs parched and youâre the last bottle of water in an arid world.
Logan eats you out like this will be the only time heâll have the privilegeâeach movement calculated, pushing all the right buttons, pulling out every trick he knows to make you think No, it doesnât get any better than this. This is as much as one can get.
Then his fingers join the symphony of pleasure, pumping in and out of you as he keeps flicking your clit with expert precision, and your back arches from the couch, following his pace with your hips. He pushes back, you push forwardâhe pushes forward, you push back.
Who is enjoying this more: him or you?
His pointed tongue teases your bud, matched with the persistent hammering of his fingers plunged into your wet heat. The combination has you coming on his mouth, falling over the precipice while you struggle to keep yourself together.
Your walls flutter around his digits, and your cries fuse with his groans, both overshadowed by his insatiable desire to savor until the last drop of your release.
Shockwaves ripple through your body and you prop your weight on your arms to capture his lips in a fervent kiss, your eyes rolling rolling back in ecstasy as you taste yourself, a mix of sour and sweet.
In a frenzy, he sheds his clothes, practically tearing them away, and you wrap your hand around his length, stroking him in time with your kisses. Logan pulls back, panting against you, and you steal a glance at him.
Your gaze travels down to his hard cock, the tip a furious red, and he seizes your wrist.
âWhy donât you kiss it better?â he rasps, his voice dropping an octave. In this moment, youâre taken aback by his beauty, and the urge to express it rises within you.
âYouâre so beautiful,â you murmur against his thigh, showering his skin with heated kisses. You stare in disbelief at the trail of hair leading to his girth, mouth watering at the sight.
A kiss on the tip, followed by a broad lick along a prominent veinâLoganâs grip on the armrest tightens, his knuckles turning white. âSo perfect.â
âShut up,â he retorts breathlessly, but you revel in the strangled noise that escapes him as you take him deeper, his head disappearing between your lips. His palm rests on your nape, anchoring you in place. âGoddammit. The fuckinââmouth you have on you.â
You try to take him in further once youâre feeling more confident, while Logan fights with all his might against the need to thrust his hips up into your warmth. He canât stay still, grunting and smothering you with lavish praise that heightens your arousal, slick pouring out of you in waves.
âPretty thing you are. Donât even know how to function around you. You got me allâfuck, actinâ all stupid.â
At one point, he tells you to stop, because he doesnât want to come just yet. You know what comes next as he rubs his cock along your folds, blending your wetness with his precum.
Itâs sloppy, and dirty, and messyâand God, do you love it.
He sinks into you and the world collides in a way you never expected. Everything you thought you knew falls apart, leaving you stranded in unfamiliar territory.
You canât comprehend how youâve spent so many years without him. Without this.
Your lips find his, and he swallows every sound he punches out of your lungs. His thrusts grow harder and faster as you adjust to his size, how big he feels inside you.
He digs his fingers into the globes of your ass, yanking you towards his shaft every time he fucks into you. You feel the brush of his balls against your skin, the way his muscles flex beneath your touch.
To this day, itâs still hard for you to wrap your head around the fact that love is what humans both strive and die for.
You come to understand it fully as his eyes flicker to yours, checking for any signs of discomfort in your features.
You understand why people write books and songs about love when he breathes your name in the shell of your ear, chanting how good youâre taking him, how tight and wet you are for him.
You understand the place love occupies in your life as the sound of your bodies slapping together creates a melody which has never been played before.
You understand why youâve searched for this your entire life, lifting every carpet in hopes of uncovering the love youâve pined for.
In the past, it had always felt like a raceâfinding your soulmate before the clock struck twelve. Now that you have him, you wonder what the future holds for you, how this connection will evolve.
For now, you can allow yourself the possibility of relishing the drag of his cock in your interior. His pace doesnât falter for a secondâsomething about mutants and their non-stop stamina, no doubt. He shoves a hand between your sweaty bodies, rubbing circles on your already swollen bud.
Each time he fills you to the brim, you have to ground yourself, resisting the pull of an altered reality.
âSo full,â you blurt out, mewling with a specially hard thrust, a chocked sob lodged in your throat. âPlease, stay.â
It could mean many things: Please, keep fucking me. Please, donât leave after this. Please, remain by my side form this moment onward, because I donât know how to go on with my life now that Iâve experienced this closeness.
Whatever meaning he ascribes to your words is of little importance. He tightens his arms around you, kissing you deeply, tongue and teeth clashing as they compete to see who wins the battle. âNever. Iâm never lettinâ you go, yâhear me?â
Heat pools in your lower back, a coiling tension radiating through your limbs. âYouâre mine, princess. Canât afford to lose you now that I found you. Gonna remind you every day.â
His rambling pushes you over the edge, your dripping cunt spasming around him as you reach your climax, moaning his name against his shoulder. You cling to him, convulsing beneath his body, and he grinds his hips into yours, his chest rumbling as he growls.
âInside,â you mumble, extending your hand to press it to his waist. âNeed you inside me. Please, I want it so bad.â
Logan stutters against you, his forehead falling against your collarbone as he finishes with one powerful thrust, his cock pulsing warm ropes of come within your cunt. You clench around him, whining as he prolongs both your pleasure and his, milking the last drop of his seed. His voice is a constant murmur, filling every space in the room until he slumps against you.
Night has fallen. The cut on your pinky no longer stings. Your scars, after all, are still there, nestled against Loganâs unmarked skin. You caress his back, sighing contentedly as a wave of peace washes over you.
Youâve never felt this relaxed.
Logan grasps your chin and tilts it up, a subtle smirk tugging at his lips. âHey,â he mutters, his gaze roaming all over your face.
You cup his cheek, his rough stubble grazing your palm. âHey, stranger. Long time no see.â
A genuine laugh pierces through the silence. the kind he rarely allows himself. Crinkles form at the corners of his eyes, his brow furrowing as he glances at you with love.
Loveâhadnât you pondered its existence for so long? Your fuel for living, the muse behind your best poems, a recurring motif in your fantasies.
Love now has Loganâs name written in ink, no longer a blank canvas awaiting its unknown owner. Noâitâs all his now.
Youâd do it all over again if it meant ending up like this, tangled and intertwined, with the promise of a future together. He has many stories to shareâabout his past universe, about himself. You have secrets to unveil, too. Thereâs so much you both have yet to discover about each other.
But time isnât up. This isnât a race, you remind yourself: things are just getting started.
Everywhere you go, every place you attempt to set foot in, there it is. Love is dressed up in an expensive silk robe, a ribbon tied neatly on top of it. You reach closer, trying to unravel it, though it's pointless. The moment love sees youâtruly sees your longing for itâit flees, and you struggle to keep up. Love runs faster than anyone, hiding within the bushes, counting the seconds until its next appearance.
Finally, youâve wrapped love around your finger.
dividers by: @cafekitsune thank you!!! <3
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine#wolverine x you#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett xmen#logan howlett fic#logan howlett smut#logan howlett fanfiction#logan james howlett#james howlett#wolverine angst#wolverine fic#wolverine fanfiction#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan x reader#logan x you#logan xmen#wolverine xmen#wolverine x y/n#the worst logan x reader#the worst wolverine#worst wolverine#logan howlett x f!reader#james logan howlett#deadpool 3#the wolverine x reader
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i straightened my hair one (1) time. this is the first time in like 3 months. i just wanted to switch it up a little. then today i wash my hair and my day 1s are usually my best BUT today it's not as bouncy or shiny as it usually is. and i know it's bc of that one time. i literally was so careful to protect it from heat as much as i possibly could. but it's not enough. it's never enough
people who don't have naturally curly hair will never understand the hoops we have to jump through to keep our curls as healthy as they possibly could be. i am so serious
#so much research has to go into your curls too#the density. the porosity. u have to find products that don't weigh it down#gel w enough hold#how many washes a week? does ur scalp get oily fast? are ur ends dry in spite of that? have u checked the hardness of water in ur city?#leave in conditioner or mousse? have u tried dunk n scrunch? denman brush method?#do u sleep w a silk scarf? do u position ur curls so that they're not flattened overnight? do u have a silk pillowcase?#not to mention how fucking expensive it is#idk ab yall but my curls need 70 different steps to achieve the look i want#if i could take my spray bottle everywhere w me i would#i really would..#i'm fortunate that i nursed my curls back to health after years of viciously straightening them#but it never fails to pass me how much work it took. AND takes to maintain it#u guys would be so appalled at the sheer amount of hours i put into researching my curl type#p
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Wife?
Pairing: Oscar Piastri x Reader
Summary: Oscar accidently slips up in an interview and calls you something you're not.... yet
Warnings: none :)
Word count: 1.2k
A/N: how is this man my favourite driver and i haven't written about him yet?
You were in the Mclaren garage, earmuffs firmly in place as your eyes followed the bright orange car on track. The remnants of the crash between Sainz and Perez could still be seen, your heart giving a nervous squeeze whenever your gaze slid to it.Â
You could feel cameras watching you, peopleâs eyes darting to you every now and then, wanting to see your reaction whenever something happened involving Oscar. For the most part you composed yourself well when watching your boyfriend race, keeping your panic, fear, and nausea to yourself. You were well practised in the art of keeping a steady facade, what with being an actress and having people stare at you wherever you went.
Still, you couldnât help the little gasps that escaped you each time they passed turn 20 and Charles got dangerously close in the space between turn 20 and turn 1. Each time Charles got closer and closer to overtaking Oscar, and each time you were watching with bated breath wondering if this was the time heâd finally take your boyfriendâs position.
Yet he never did, and you watched with an overwhelming joy as Oscar finished the Azerbaijan Grand Prix first, the black and white chequered flag telling the world of your boyfriend's achievement. You laughed, clapping your hands, beaming at the screen in front of you. Cheers rose up from the people around you, guests and workers alike celebrating the success of the team.
You hurried out of the garage, walking the now familiar path to the crowd waiting underneath the podium, where youâd stay to watch Oscar retrieve his trophy. Youâd known his last win hadnât been perfect, and your celebrations together had been dampened slightly. Today though, you knew youâd be celebrating. You could already see your boyfriendâs telltale smile as he walked onto the first place podium, a restrained smile that looked polite to anyone else but to you confessed his excitement and pride.
You cheered with everyone else as he received his trophy, throwing his arm in the air triumphantly as his gaze searched the crowd. When he found you his smile widened just a tad. Still polite as ever but softer. His eyes were also telling you everything the distance between you wouldnât allow. That he loved you. That he was so happy. That he felt like he meant something, which of course he did.
The next few hours were very busy for your boyfriend. He was the man of the hour, the person everyone wanted to talk to and congratulate. Youâd had a passing kiss and hug, murmuring how proud you were of him before he was whisked away again, but you didnât mind. You let these people have their precious few hours with him because after that he was all yours.
Oscar, on the other hand, wasnât happy with it. Heâd just made an incredible achievement in his life, something heâd been working for since he was a kid, and he wanted to celebrate with you, not reporters and interviewers.
So when he spotted you walking with Alex, Charlesâ girlfriend, he took his chance, grabbing your hand and dragging you over with him. You gave him a confused smile. âWhatâre you doing?â
He shrugged. âWanted to be with you. If I have to do this I want you to do it with me too.â
The reporter in front of him cooed, as did the surrounding people listening in. You gave him a smile, not minding one bit. Your boyfriend had such a soft, loving side the media didnât get to see much, so you were glad they were finally discovering what a sweetheart Oscar was.
And thatâs how you found yourself attending race briefings and interviews with your boyfriend. You had to admit, it was a little boring, and sometimes you couldnât keep up with the conversation, your limited Formula One knowledge failing you during speedy discussions on cars and strategies. Still, you could see how happier Oscar was with you there, his hand resting comfortably on your waist, which was why you pasted on a smile and endured it.
It was nearing the end of the briefings, freedom so close you could almost taste it, as Oscar finished up with the last couple of interviews. You were both ready to leave, the sky having turned dark long ago, and tiredness made way to a faulty filter in Oscarâs case.
âAnd youâve got your girlfriend here,â the interviewer said, a young girl around your age, 23 or 24. âI bet sheâs proud of you.â
Oscar turned to look at you, raising his eyebrows in question and you let a giddy smile cross your face. ââCourse I am. Couldnât be prouder.â
Oscar, preening at your compliments, snuck a quick kiss on your cheek, much to the entertainment of the interviewer, talking of how wonderful you seemed together.
âYeah, sheâs amazing,â Oscar agreed. One thing you knew he loved nearly as much as racing was talking about you. âIâm incredibly lucky to her have her as my wife- uh, I mean-â
Your eyes went wide, as did the interviewerâs, her mouth dropping slightly. âWife? Did we miss something?â
âDid I miss something?â you murmured to him, though you were not at all upset. Quite the contrary, actually, fighting the large smile threatening to spread across your face.
âNo, no, I didnât meanâuh, sheâs not, not yetâuh, letâs move onââ Oscar was stumbling over his words, a rare sight, and you were biting your lip hard because you felt grinning like a maniac would not help him at the moment.
But he was going to receive many words later.
You received applause as you entered the stage, waving your hand at the audience as you sat down in the lush armchair, facing Jimmy Fallon behind his desk. You always loved going on his show, good friends with Jimmy on screen and off.
He gave you a warm welcome, speaking of your new movie that released a couple months ago and the launching of your new perfume, which you were quite excited about and more than happy to talk with Jimmy about.Â
âAnd, Iâm sorry, I just have to bring this up,â Jimmy started, a mischievous glint in his eye. âWe all saw Oscar accidentally call you his wife on live TV after that big win. Did he get a talking-to for that slip-up?â
The audience laughed and you with them, remembering Oscarâs flushed face when you got back to the hotel room, his rambled explanation and apology. You also remembered what had followed, which is what spurred you to give a sly smile to Jimmy â âThere was definitely some talkingâ â and take out your left hand youâd been sitting on and flash it to the audience.
More specifically, the jewel sitting on your ring finger.
The crowd gasped and applauded, the noise in the room reaching the limit, as Jimmy covered his mouth in shock before clapping along, congratulating you. You were full on grinning now, drinking in everyoneâs happiness that only elevated your own.
âSo next time Oscar refers to you as his wife it wonât be a slip-up, huh?â Jimmy asked brightly.
You grinned, nodding. âNext time he calls me his wife itâll be because I am.â
#f1#fanfic#formula one#fanfiction#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#f1 fanfic#f1 x you#formula one x you#formula one fanfic#oscar piastri fanfic#mclaren#ferrari#carlos sainz
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Part 10
Can't stop thinking about reader realizing she fucked up.
"What?" You asked, unsure if you heard him correctly. "I did stuff for Simon." He opened his mouth slightly before shutting it, almost as if he was afraid to argue with you. He was. "I did things for Simon." You repeated. "I did."
You took pause. Racking your brain for examples to throw in his face. You had always tried to be the best girlfriend. and look where it had gotten you. You were always the one to reach out, to plan dates. The only one to manage your time equally among all of them even if it meant stretching yourself then.
But the more you thought, the more you came up short.
"I definitely treated Simon the same." You defend.
Here lately you had been spending more time with the others than Simon. Every evening was the same without fail. He would call you no later than 9, asking if you were busy. Sometimes you were already out with the others, but in the instances you weren't Simon would ask to come over. An excuse of not being able to sleep.
When he first gave you that excuse, you expected him to be using it as just an excuse to come over and fuck you.
But he didn't.
Not that night. Or the next.
The third time he did fuck you. He was a man, not a saint after all. You weren't sure if it was because he was the last one you got around to being intimate with, but it just felt different. The others were great. Letting you turn your brain off and letting them take control.
Where the others took the reins, Simon guided you. It was more like dancing than fucking. Your bodies working in harmony with one another. He would listen intently to each little moan or staggered breath you took. Wouldn't take his eyes off of your face when he ate your cunt. Wanting to take in every reaction you would give him.
He had created a flow of how to fuck you. A way to ensure he pulled several orgasms from you before you practically passed out from exhaustion. You would try and switch things up with different positions and giving him head, but Simon was a simple man. Once he found a way that worked, he stuck with it. He let you indulge. Spicing things up, but he always made a home in between your thighs at some point.
It had been like that ever since. Over and over again like clock work, he would call. He wouldn't always fuck you. Mostly either one or both of you complaining about a hard day and insisting on just having the company of the other. However, it wasn't until Mere had made a comment on why she hadn't met Simon yet.
It was like finally noticing something on a commute you took everyday. Day in and day out you came across it without every really taking note. How oblivious you had been.
Simon had only came over at night. Although he would bring take out or cook dinner with you, he had never taken you out on a date. Not even so much as a cup of coffee-- tea in his case.
You pressed him about it one night.
You seem pretty busy during the day. Plus, that's when I catch up on sleep was his reasoning and you didn't press him.
Simon had always complained about not being able to sleep. You didn't mind the company. So whenever he called and you were free. That's just how the relationship had been between you two. You both seemed satisfied with the dynamic.
"It was just different with me and Si," you defended. "He didn't need any help from me or ask it." You wanted to say he hadn't been as needy as Johnny, Kyle or John, but kept that opinion to yourself.
"Or did he just not feel like he could ask you?" Kyle's question gave you a moment of pause. Your mouth falling open. Appalled at the suggestion.
"Don't try and turn this around on me." You narrow your eyes at Kyle and his audacity. You were the one who was hurt. You didn't like being the victim, but in this scenario you were. "If Simon had any issue he would have said something."
"Like you did with us?" He asked. His boldness growing. "And I'm not trying to turn this around on you, I'm just saying that there everyone had their issues in not communicating on what was really going on. I should have told you how I felt, they should have told you and you should have told us."
"Oh," you said, head tilting to the side and condescension lacing your tone. "So when was I supposed to do that? When John was snapping at me or Johnny had his tongue buried inside of me. God knows you weren't exactly answering my texts and Simon had been the only one I didn't have issues with."
"But you still came to him about us." Outed was the only word fitting enough to describe how you felt. You had tried to keep your relationships separate as well as the issues and frustrations that came along with it.
"He told you?" You asked, feeling embarrassed and, somewhat, fearful about what exactly Simon had said to them. The asshole was just so easy to talk to. For someone who was so reserved, you found it second nature to open up to him. "When?"
"Any chance he got." Kyle huffed. The confession shocked you. If anything, yes, maybe John would have been the one to tell the boys to fall in line if he knew they were falling short, but Simon? The man who couldn't ever be bothered to plan a date?
"I don't understand." You shook your head as if that would jumble the pieces of your thoughts well enough that they would somehow fit together; painting you a clearer picture. "Simon... he..." His words echoed in your mind. Even now they still haunted you. A ghost reminding you of your naivety. "He said some really shitty things."
"I know." Kyle's face fell and you could almost see the anger flicker in his eyes before it extinguished into something more solemn. "He knew he was the last thing holding you to us. Severing that tie would make it easier for you to lease."
"Losing you wasn't easy." You replied through clenched teeth. Tears prickling your eyes. "Is that what you think? That this has been easy for me?"
"I don't think it's been easy, but I know it's the truth." A small part of you knew he was right. And you hated him for it. "Simon was the only one putting in any effort on our end. He was the only reason we didn't lose you sooner." He took your hand in his. Rubbing small circles in your palm. Something he did to soothe. Funny how now the gesture was breaking your heart. "If it's any consolation, he didn't mean what he said."
You scoff, tears now falling as you pull your hand from him. "Just because he didn't mean it, doesn't mean it's not true." You cross your arms over your chest. No longer giving him the chance to try and reach out again.
"Do you think any of us actually felt that way about you?" Kyle asked, his tone a mixture between disbelief and sorrow. He knew Simon's words were meant to cut, but their actions had made his declaration deem true.
"You didn't exactly prove otherwise." The confirmation causes him to falter, not knowing what to say, how to comfort you. It was like somewhere along the way he had lost the knowledge on how to treat you, how to care for you. It was like he didn't know you, but still loved you all the same.
It was killing him.
After several uncomfortable moments of silence, he spoke. "I know John told you we were all on our own in terms of fixing this. But I want you to know that we all regret how we went about things. How we treated you was unacceptable and there is truly no excuse. I can only hope that you let us have the privilege in at least trying to make it up to you."
You let out a breath. Your chest aching as a sob threatens to bubble to the surface.
You swallow it down.
"So I take it then Johnny is taking the same route as Simon?" You couldn't blame him. You had put the final nail in the coffin of your relationship. Fucking and leaving him like that... Not to mention all the details Kyle gave you of the aftermath. No doubt Johnny would feel like being forgiven was pointless by now.
"Johnny is chomping at the fuckin' bit." He laughed. "If Simon and Price weren't keeping a leash on him right now he'd be here right now and I don't think we could get him out of here a second time."
"Well three out of four then." You sighed. "I just can't believe it got this far." Shaking your head, you leaned back against the cushions "I mean, I get that all of you had your own lives, families and stuff going on... But even then, I can't believe Simon found it so easy to say those things. Looking back, yeah, I wasn't girlfriend of the year, but I wasn't a bad girlfriend."
Silence.
"Kyle?" He bit his lips. He wanted to say something. "Kyle." You pressed. "Out with it."
"You don't need to bring it up."
"Fine." You said, but technically didn't promise anything.
"And it's not your fault for forgetting." Your patience was growing thin. Your emotional battery was low and even with a good nights rest you knew it would take a while before it recharged. "Fuck," Kyle rubbed his face, contemplating best how to tell you. "The night you called Simon..." he explained. "It was April 25th."
You waited, not completing grasping what he was trying to say.
April 25th...
What was so damn special about April 25th that made Simon so fucking angry? You didn't buy the whole 'letting you go thing', so it had to be something
Why that day?
April 25th: not an anniversary or a birthday. Not Easter or Christmas. Simon really didn't celebrate Christmas given what happened to Tommy, Beth and Joseph.
Joseph...
Fuck. Joseph.
Your throat felt fight.
What had you done?
He probably just got home from the cemetery when you called to cry about Johnny. Fuck.
Joseph's birthday.
Simon was a man that didn't do a lot of sentimental things. But every year, on Joseph's birthday he would visit his nephew's plot with a toy. You didn't know what he said or how long he stayed but he indulged you once. Telling you he just went, sat by with the toy next to the headstone for a bit before leaving.
Simon was reliving one of the happiest days of his life that was now tainted. And you complained about Johnny leaving after fucking you.
"Oh my God." You drew out shakily. Kyle could see the tears beginning to form. Horror manifesting in your eyes. "What the fuck?"
"You didn't know." He tried to soothe as if that were some sort of excuse.
"I forgot." Confessing it out loud felt like a spike going straight through your chest. "How the fuck did I forget?" Kyle didn't know what else to do. Fuck whatever awkwardness and boundaries you would set before fully accepting him back, he pulled you to his chest, allowing you to sob.
You weren't sure how long you had sat there. Kyle's arms enveloping you as you released it all. Eventually you did subside. His shirt marked with evidence of your tears and snot.
"No wonder he fucking hates me." You said it so softly, so broken, Kyle's heart broke for you.
"Simon doesn't hate you." His attempt of soothing you was admirable, but you knew it wasn't true. How could someone not hate another person after that? Forgetting the birthday of your brutally murdered nephew to call and bitch about not getting cuddled after sex. "If he did, he wouldn't have made sure you got home okay after your date. And the guy at the club-"
"He told you about that?" You shouldn't have been shocked. After all John knew.
"Only after he asked to standby in case bail was needed." He tried to joke. "The point is, there is coming back from this." Taking his thumbs, he brushed away the stray tears that hadn't made it to his shirt. "For all of us."
#call of duty#simon ghost riley#captain john price#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#angst#grovel#angst with a happy ending#canât stop thinking about
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Fontaine Boys: Calling them by their names
Lyney
This guy pretty much made it a thing after you started using pet names that you no longer knew a Lyney, only a baby, sweetie, honey, sugar, etc. So, don't think that pulling this prank will go over his head or that he'll let you off easy for trying to tease him like this. Because Lyney? He will never forget this injustice until he can return that favor tenfold
When you say it, just as he is leaving for work/practice with Lynette, he stalls in the hallway as he tries to process what you just did to him, because surely his sweet, loving, and gorgeous lover would never stop using his pet names without a justifiable reason. This man goes through 4 stages of grief in .2 seconds and basically sprints to the nearest calendar to see the date, anniversary, or birthday he surely must've forgotten
Because, surely, he missed something, right? right?
"Love... did I forget something?" Lyney sounds so different from usual. Almost panicked really.
This can go one of two ways:
If you can keep a straight face and keep calling him Lyney he gets more and more panicked, basically begging at your feet to tell him what he did to deserve such cold, heartless, and diabolical treatment until you give and tell him its a prank
If you can't keep a straight face Lyney can see the devious little smile on your face and pretty much gawks at you in disbelief
either way it ends with him giving you a taste of your own medicine for the rest of the day. Because really, how could you do this to him right before his practice?
So if you can't handle that, don't do that to Lyney because he can be just as teasing and mean about it no matter how much he loves you, and if you keep it up through the whole day too he will continue it into the next day until you stop
or maybe he'll do something about that attitude of yours? ;)
Freminet
Are you a monster?
Genuinely why would you do this to him after all the work it took to get him to accept and also call you petnames?
Fremi thinks the world is ending tbh. He was on his way out to go diving and you just??? dropped this on him?? Are you breaking up with him?? Is he in trouble?? Please tell him it is a prank immediately or he will cry
Just like his brother he rushes to a calendar and checks every box to make sure he didn't miss anything today and for the last month or so just to be sure. And the panic that sets in when he sees that he didn't, now he's really sure you're about to say you don't love him anymore
It doesn't even matter if you can keep a straight face or not because he is in full panic mode and can't think straight enough to see that you're just pulling his leg
This poor boy is taking off his backpack and shoes and either sitting across from you or standing right in front of you with the most pitiful face asking you what's wrong
"My little marintine rose.... y/n honey....what's wrong? Did I... make you angry? Is it the diving? You can come with me, you know I love it when you come with me" Cue the biggest puppy eyes with tears
Please tell him soon that this is just a prank because again, he can and will cry if you keep this up any longer than a few minutes.
Neuvillette
He deadass walks out the door and takes a few minutes outside before he turns around and makes his way back inside calmly. Neuvillette is positive he misheard. His mind is playing tricks, or maybe he's getting old and his hearing is failing him because there is no way you just called him Neuvillette, his full government name, and not Neuvi, baby, honey, love, or something like that
He'd even accept a weird pet name like your fridge or your little hilichurl
The thing about Neuvillette is he knows he didn't forget anything. He will not rush to a calendar or even think to do so because he remembers everything you tell him, even things you say in passing. Like that dress you told him about 2 months ago, or the cute sea otter that you said reminded you of him
"Mon amour.... my love, my life, I think I forgot to tell you that I love you and that I'm leaving" He tries to play it cool, Nevi thinks if he can pretend he forgot to say anything that you'll correct yourself
When you don't, you're pretty sure you can hear thunder rumble in the distance as a storm tries to roll in
Say it's a prank right now or it'll storm for a week straight, he may be a big and tough dragon but he cannot handle this from you
If you crack and smile or start laughing Neuvi is not pleased, he's not pleased regardless when you reveal it's a prank
The storm is rolling in for different reasons now
He won't play the prank back on you but expect some long, displeased stares and some major frowns from him
You almost made his heart beat out of his chest in panic
Wriothesley
Wriothesley almost laughs when you call him by his full name and not at least a Wrio
like there is no way he doesn't know you're being a menace right now
so please be prepared for the entire next week because Wrio is ruthless when it comes to payback and he will get his just desserts
I mean really, Wrio is vicious when it comes to throwing this back in your face
"Oh hey there y/n, buddy, pal, my best friend" for a week straight...
So rude....
He will tell you upfront before he leaves for work when you do this that since he's just some guy you know now that he'll call you his friend from now on
and he will just walk right out the door after that. Not even a glance back or a teasing smirk, just leaves the house and goes to work unbothered for the rest of the day
that's what you think anyway, even though he knows this is a prank he actually is really bothered and talks to Sigwennie about what happened and he's pouting and sulking at work
even the inmates at the fortress can see that their boss is bothered by something
Please say sorry soon and start calling him his cute pet names or he's going to struggle at work and Sigwinne can't deal with this for anymore than a day because Wrio can be insufferable
#genshin impact#gi#lyney x reader#genshin impact lyney#genshin impact freminet#freminet x reader#genshin impact wriothesley#wriothesley x reader#genshin impact neuvillette#neuvillette x reader
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Stretch Zone
I was feeling inspired and wrote the first little bit of this Yoga Steve Steddie and Buckingham au I was playing with yesterday. Not sure if I'll continue with it, but I had some dialogue floating around in my head and wanted to let it out.
I'm not really experienced in writing dialogue so my apologies if it came out weird.
Part Two
------
Steve thinks Robin is being ridiculous, but at the same time, he knows firsthand how far someone will go for a crush. Robin calls him a âloverboyâ which, is not completely off the mark but feels unnecessary to point out right after Steve gets ghostedâŚagain.
But thatâs beside the point. The point being that Robin has been going off about how she cornered herself into going to an intermediate yoga class to try and woo the cute girl who sits in front of her in her mandatory Writing 212 class. Apparently, Robin got a full two minutes of conversation in with said girl, a real feat since Robin usually spends the whole class psyching herself up to talk to her and then chickens out and dashes out the door as soon as class lets out. During said conversation, Robin found out Chrissy is a yoga instructor at the rec off campus, which resulted in Robin blurting out that sheâs been meaning to take up yoga again (sheâs never been) and that sheâll stop by a class sometime.
Which leads to now.
â-and Iâve never done yoga! Iâve never even thought about yoga except for that one time my hippie aunt Jen came to stay with us for a week and took up the entire living room every morning to do her weird stretches-â breath âand you know how clumsy I am! Iâm going completely fall on my face and the angel that is Chrissy Cunningham is going to know that Iâm a failed jock with no coordination and sheâll never fall in love with me!â she finally stops, taking a big heaving breath.
Steve, used to these occasional Robin Buckley rants had been leaning against the breakfast bar letting her go on for the last three and a half minutes. Sometimes itâs just better to let her get it out first.
âYou done?â Steve asks, raising an eyebrow.
âIâm done,â she replies, flopping on the sofa behind her like all the wind has gone out of her sails. Steve hates to see her upset, but at the end of the day, itâs an easy fix.
âSweet. So Iâll just go with you alright? And when you completely biff it and fall on your face Iâll just,â he steps away from the bar and mimes falling onto the couch next to her, ignoring her over-exaggerated oof, âfall even harder, or whatever. Make a whole scene of it.â Robin glares a little at the when, but ultimately canât be upset when they both know itâs inevitable.
âSeriously?â she asks, eyes big and blue in a way that always makes Steve want to punch a wall. He doesnât. Only did it once when they were both supremely drunk and feeling emotional, but he does wrap his arms around her narrow shoulders.
âEh, why not? Maybe Iâll even find a cool yoga babe of my own to woo,â he says waggling his brows in a way that makes her scrunch up her nose.
âAs if Harrington. I bet youâll fall even more than me. Youâre big jock muscles arenât designed for flexibility,â she says with a faux pretentious accent.
âWeâll see about that, Buckley.â
------
Steve, much to Robinâs chagrin, does not fall on his face. Well, he does once, but itâs only because heâs following through on his promise to crash out for her when she falls on her face. Which she does almost as soon as Chrissy gives the instruction to lift their left leg while in downward dog. Unfortunately, it only worked the first time. The second time Robin crashed down, Steve wasnât in a safe position to fall with her. By the time he was, the moment had passed. Luckily itâs nearing the end of the class when it happens and Chrissy mercifully releases them to relax into a corpse pose which, if you asked Robin, was perfectly fitting given the situation.
Steve though.
Steve really enjoyed the class.
Robin was right when he said his usual exercise regime wasnât necessarily focused on flexibility and balance, but he finds yoga challenging in a gentler way than basketball or swimming. By the end of the day, heâs signing up for the full 12-week course and talking to Chrissy about what kind of equipment he should invest in.
âThe most important thing is the grip. Mine was really expensive but I use it for work so I wouldnât get the same one unless youâre planning to use it every day. If youâre comfortable giving me your number, I can send you some links to more reasonably priced ones.â Wow, Steve gets why Robin likes her so much. Sheâs like a walking ray of sunshine. Part of him wonders if sheâs hitting on him, but she seems like she genuinely wants to help, not take him on a date.
âSure, yeah, that would be great. Let me justâŚâ he pulls out his phone and unlocks it, handing it over to the girl in front of him. She puts in her name and number, which, is always good. Steve is so bad with names he wouldnât want to spell it wrong and give Robin another reason to make fun of him. She hands it back and Steve is getting ready to say his goodbyes and go hunt down Robin, who fled as soon as the class went out, but Chrissy starts talking before he can.
âYou came with Robin, right? Robin Buckley?â She blurts out, clearly nervous. âWeâre in class together but I didnât know she had a boyfriend. Itâs nice to meet you!â Itâs not that Steve thinks sheâs lying, but thereâs an undercut of something that makes him think Robin might not be alone in her pining.
âYeah, we came in together.â He lets it hang, watching as her shoulders slump a little. âBut weâre not dating or anything. Iâm, uh, not really her type.â Her eyes go a little wide at his emphasis on type, perking up at the knowledge that Robin isnât dating.
Oh yeah, he thinks, sheâs got it just as bad.
#buckingham#robin buckley x chrissy cunningham#steddie#pre steddie#this is meant to be a steddie fic#but we need the â¨set upâ¨#so the girls get to have their moment#stranger things#eddie munson#fanfiction#dreamer speaks#blurb#for those of you lurking in the tags of my last post#you may know that Eddie will be in the same class as Steve#due to losing the bet but being too broke to pay it out#and so must relent to Chrissy's request for him to take one of her classes#and force him into healthy habits#Reblogged with edits#catch me saying angle instead of angel
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HWANG INHO NSFW HCS âŚ
cw: 18+, age gap, daddy kink (inho being fatherly âŚ), intox kink, somno, dirty talk, general filth.
a/n: iâm so sorry this came out way too long & messy ,, long & messyâŚ?!?! , may have some typos. i was writing an inho fic but while writing & coming up with possible ideas, i may have gone a little overboard with the hcs⌠whoops. anyways head full of inho
â-
⢠has mastered the art of juggling praising and degrading down to a T. when he has you pinned down fucking you stupid, expect to be hearing the filthiest remarks against your ear.
âthatâs my pretty girl, so fucking dirty.â
âjust a dumb little fleshlight for me to fill, hmm? so, so good. all for me.â
⢠he calls you his baby, his sweet girl, his angel, & of course, sweetheart.
⢠possessive is inhoâs middle name. but really, is this shocking news?
⢠inho never wouldâve thought himself to have a daddy kink. not like he wasnât open to the idea, moreso he never thought heâd get the chance to try it. but ever since you came into his life, you gave him the perfect opportunity.
⢠he took notice of how much his fatherly nature had you wrapped around his finger. you couldnât help it, really. the way heâs so protective of you, so patient and caring. the day he called himself daddy in bed, you came so hard you couldâve sworn you were on the brink of blacking out.
âmy pretty girl just needed daddy to fuck her right, huh? itâs okay, baby. iâve got you.â heâd murmur, low groans escaping past parted lips as his thrusts turn sloppier, more frantic and messy at the sound of your moans.
⢠forced intox kink ⌠i will die on this hill. something about seeing you all dumb & drunk, mind clouded after taking a swig of alcohol gets him hot and bothered.
⢠somnophiliac. heâll try his best to be gentle at first to not wake you up, but he canât help getting lost in the pleasure, pounding himself deeper and deeper until your eyes flutter open.
⢠the times he uses your mouth, youâre woken up by the sensation of being choked, your airway getting tighter and tighter. tears prick at the corner of your eyes as you frantically grip onto him, gasping for air. heâll just shush you, hands still pressed firmly against both sides of your head as he fucks your throat.
âshh, itâs okay, baby. sâjust daddy⌠go back to bed, angel.â
⢠on the topic of choking, inho canât get enough of it. wrapping his hand around your neck during sex, the choked moans that come from you never fails to make his cock twitch. it drives him up a wall.
⢠heâd never say it outright, but your age gap makes him so fucking hard. just talking about it with him could serve as foreplay, really. he tries to be sneaky with it, mentioning it in passing.
⢠he mentions how his age is getting to him, or how young and pretty you are, how heâs âpractically old enough to be your father,â. youâd say itâs sick, the only problem being you find it equally as hot.
⢠for someone of his age, he fucks like a madman. you may be the younger one, but sometimes you find yourself huffing trying to keep up with him. he does most of the work, tells you to just âsit pretty and take it.â, but the times when heâs all tired out and still hard? heâll lay back on the bed, dark eyes fixed on you as he motions for you to ride him. âget yourself off on daddyâs cock, pretty girl.â
and really, how could you turn that offer down?
#hwang in ho#front man#oh young il#in ho#in ho squid game#inho smut#squid game#hcs#player 001#squidgame 2#smut#inho x reader
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â "ctrl+C, ctrl+V" sakusa kiyoomi
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sakusa kiyoomi x f!reader
a/n: saw a fanart of chibi sakusa and this came to mind so i just had to write this out to get it out of my head đŤ sorry if my writing's not perfect i wrote this in like an hour HAHAHDHDJSJSHD
cw: FLUFF, parenting au, atsumu being annoying
wc: 586

Kiyoomi had always expressed how much he wanted your kids to have your features - from your hair, your eyes, your smile, your laugh, he wanted them to inherit everything about you. He essentially wanted his kids to be mini clones of you, the person he loved and admired the most in the world.
However, when your first child was born, it was pretty clear that she'd take after her father. Immediately, you noticed birth marks at almost the exact same spot as her father, and as she grew older, her hair started to curl at the ends just like her father's. Unsurprisingly, they had similar personalities too. She was probably the most educated six year old when it came to personal and public hygiene.
And when Reina's little brother was born, you swore they could be twins. That is, if you ignored the eight year age gap between them. Akimitsu, like his sister, took after Kiyoomi. He had the same dark curly hair and sharp eyes as his father, but one difference between him and his sister was that he had a much more outgoing personality. Even at six months old, he was already smiling, laughing, pointing and waving at everyone he passes by.
Today was no different. Strapped to his father's chest, Akimitsu was excitedly pointing towards his older sister practising volleyball in front of him and babbling incoherently. Next to him, the one and only Miya Atsumu was seated on the bench watching his twin boys practice their volleyball skills with Reina. You watched as your husband fished out a pack of tissues and wiped away the drool on his baby's chin.
"Dude, what's up with your sets today? Even Reina can't spike your shit sets and she's a better spiker than me!" RyĹŤjin exclaimed, pointing accusingly at his brother.
"Shut yer trap, RyĹŤ! Yer just jealous 'cause my sets are still better than yours!" RyĹta retorted. Turning to his friend, he apologised, "Sorry, Reina, I'll work on my sets."
Reina scrunched her face in slight annoyance but acknowledged her friend.
"Y'know, Omi-kun, yer daughter somehow looks even more like you when she does that," Atsumu chortled.
Confused, Kiyoomi looked up at the blonde setter. "Does what?"
"THAT!" Atsumu screeched, pointing at Kiyoomi's face, which was, of course, scrunched up like his daughter's. Kiyoomi hurriedly covered his son's ears at the sheer volume of Atsumu's outburst.
"Will ya keep it down? My kid's gonna go deaf at this rate," Kiyoomi huffed, glaring at Atsumu. The latter sheepishly apologised.
"But for real though, your kids are basically your clones," Atsumu continued, "Guess ya don't have to worry about 'em not bein' yours, right?"
That earned him a hard slap on the back of his head by both you and Kiyoomi.
"THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" Atsumu cried, rubbing the back of his head to relieve the pain.
"Excuse me, sir, what are you insinuating?" You spouted, glaring at him. For all the years you had known him â since high school, to be exact âAtsumu had never failed to come up with the most insensitive lines.
"I'm just sayin'! It's cute that yer kids look so much like you!" Atsumu sulked.
"No shit they're mine, baka," Kiyoomi grumbled, the annoyed scrunch once again making an appearance on his face.
Hearing a fit of giggles, you all turned to Akimitsu who was pointing at Atsumu with a gummy smile on his face.
"Ba...Baka!"
The six month old happily clapped and cheered as Atsumu was left dumbfounded.

a/n: sakusaâs children would 100% inherit his curly hair YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE like itâs literally so cute. theyâd have the same scrunched face when theyâre annoyed AND IT'S FREAKING ADORABLE anyway i titled this one ctrl C ctrl V for obvious reasons HAHA

Š educatedsimps 2024. do not repost, copy, translate or plagiarise any work from this blog on tumblr or any other platforms. if you do, the simps will hunt you down. likes and reblogs are appreciated!
#educated.simps#haikyuu x reader#lyssa.writes#simps.write#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff#sakusa kiyoomi#hq sakusa#sakusa x reader#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#kiyoomi sakusa x reader#sakusa x reader fluff#sakusa fluff#sakusa kiyoomi x reader fluff
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Kara heard a distinctive hollow pop as she approached Lenaâs apartment. The doorman had been gracious enough to let her up, informing her that Miss Luthor was expecting her. She knocked on the door and listened intently. The soft clink of a bottle being set on a table and rather gentle passing of Lenaâs feet on the hardwood floor. Kara resisted the urge to peer through the door.
When it swung in, she wished sheâd had the chance to prepare herself. Lena was visibly distraught, eyes red rimmed from crying and cheeks puffy. She was dressed down in a a sweater and leggings, and couldnât meet Karaâs gaze with her own.
It hurt. Seeing her like this physically hurt, gouging a dull ache into her chest. Her first instinct was to reach out and scoop the smaller woman into a tight hug, make her safe, to wall her in with her arms. Kara fought it down and sighed.
âYou⌠donât look so good.â
âCome in,â Lena said, her voice soft and flat. âIf you want to hang out with a monster, that is.â
Lena turned and trudged back into the apartment as if she was walking to the gallows. She fell back into the couch and grabbed the wine bottle from the table, long since having abandoned the pretext of glasses.
âYouâre not a monster, Lena.â
She stared at the bottle and took a long pull from it, the wine sloshing around the bottom.
âYeah I am. You ever watch Godzilla movies?â
Kara blinked. âWhat?â
âGodzilla. Giant radioactive lizard.â
âOf course.â
Lena snorted a bitter laugh. âMonsters are born too large, too strong, too tall. That is their tragedy. Or something like that. Director of the movie said it. Thatâs me. Iâm not trying to hurt anyone, itâs just in my blood. Itâs who I am and Iâll never escape it.â
âThatâs not true,â Lena said, softly.
She looked around the apartment, shocked to find dishes piled in the sink and two more empty wine bottles lined up on the kitchen island.
Kara quickly moved to the couch. Lena offered no resistance as Kara took the bottle. Lena stared as Kara took a long, glugging pull.
âThere. Now youâre not drinking alone.â
Lena smiled weakly. Kara didnât mind the taste of the wine but as far as getting her drunk, it was like pouring it down the drain. If she could keep Lena from alcohol poisoning, it was worth it. Kara felt a tug in her chest. Lena looked so soft, her big eyes wet with tears.
âI only wanted to help.â
âYou did, Lena. You saved the world.â
âChildren, Kara. Sick kids, dying because of me.â
âThatâs not true, Lena. Edge is cooking the data, you know that. Weâre going to clear your name and Iâm going to help.â
âIâm so tired, Kara. My own brother tries to murder me once a week because I wonât help him try to take over the world. I keep getting kidnapped by my insane family and aliens and God knows who else and Iâm tired. That woman today almost killed me. One of these times there wonât be someone to jump in front of the bullet and itâll be my time.â
âThat wonât happen.â
Lena shook her head, failing to fight back the tears. âIâm so tired of being everyoneâs monster.â
âYouâre not a monster to me, Lena. You are so good. You work so hard and care so much, and people donât even know about your work at the childrenâs hospital, the reading to the kids. Youâre a saint.â
Lena looked at her sharply. âHow did you know about that?â
Kara thought, FUCK.
She fiddled with her glasses, knowing it was a tell.
âI um, well I am a reporter. I wonât tell anyone, I know you donât want publicity.â
âKara, Iâm confused. I put a lot of effort into making sure no one knows I do that, so the kids donât have to deal with the bullshit my life brings. Have you been following me?â
Kara licked her lips.
Just holding back the truth isnât make it a lie, did it?
âMore like keeping tabs, just to⌠keep you safe. To watch your back.â
Lena looked horrified. Karaâs chest seized and she thought for a moment that sheâd gone too far.
âKara, I donât want you doing that. If Edge or my brother come after me and youâre in the way, theyâll kill you. You canât risk that, you donât deserve it.â
Lena grabbed her hands. âListen to me, Kara. I have a target on my back. I have a price on my head. Sooner or later my number is going to be up and Iâd rather die than have you be the one to catch the bullet. I just want you to be okay.â
âThey wonât get you.â
Lena pressed her eyes shut and choked back a sob. âYeah, they will. Iâm living on borrowed time. Itâs just a matter of the odds, in the end. Next time James wonât be there to take a bullet for me and Supergirl will be too busy and Iâll just be another monster on obituary page until-â
âStop it!â Kara barked, shocked at the sharp snap of her own voice. âStop it. I wonât let them.â
Lenaâs eyes snapped open and she stared at Kara, more than a little shocked. Her hands tensed, closing tightly around Karaâs.
âDonât put that on yourself. Iâm not youâre responsibly and I donât want you risking your life for me. Itâs just not worth it.â
âYou are worth it,â Kara insisted, shaking her hands a little as she leaned in. âYou are, and I wonât accept that youâre not.â
âI love that you believe in me so much.â
Karaâs heart did a backflip. Love? She loved it? Lena was looking at her with such a softness in her eyes, and Kara scolded herself that she was drunk, that she might say things she didnât intend or didnât want to slip out.
âBut,â Lena said, âyouâre just one person, you canât save me from this.â
Karaâs jaw set as she bit down on this pressure growing inside her, as if something had taken root in her chest and grown and grown inside until it made her ribs creak and her heart ache and it would split her open if she didnât let it out.
She wasnât drunk. She was lucid, clearheaded, but Lena was gazing into her soul with tear-filled eyes and she looked so small and vulnerable and resigned, like she was just waiting for her turn at the headsmanâs axe.
Kara couldnât take it. She couldnât fucking take it, and the words came so easily she scarcely knew how sheâd held it in for so long.
âI can protect you, Lena. Iâm Supergirl. I can do anything.â
Lenaâs soft expression twisted into a scowl.
âBad time for a joke, Kara.â
Tenderly, as gently as she could, Kara guided Lenaâs hand to her glasses.
âGo ahead.â
Lena hesitated, chewing her lip, eyes flicking strangely, gaze surveying Karaâs face- looking at her eyes, her scar, and in a way that pulled at Karaâs heart, her lips.
Slowly, carefully, Lena pulled the glasses free, visibly surprised by their weight.
âTheyâre lined with lead. It helps with sensory overload.â
Lena raised her now shaking hand and her thumb grazed Karaâs ear as she reached back to unclasp the clip holding Karaâs hair, allowing honeyed tresses to spill free across her shoulders and down her back.
âLook at me, Lena.â
Lena looked. Her expression flickered from pained annoyance to shock to something Kara couldnât quite identify.
âYou lied to me,â Lena whispered.
Kara bit back some lame excuse, like I never said I wasnât Supergirl.
âI did, and Iâm sorry. If this means your feelings about me have changed, thatâs okay, but I wonât stop protecting you. I wonât let Morgan Edge or your brother or anyone hurt you. Never you.â
Karaâs jaw trembled as she spoke and her heart was racing.
Lenaâs was doing the same, beating too fast in her chest. Kara carefully put her hands on Lenaâs shoulders.
âEasy,â she said. âI know this is a shock.â
âWhen you caught me after⌠when you saved me from Lillian⌠when you⌠the helicopter⌠that was you?â
âAlways, Lena. Iâll never let you fall.â
âKara?â Lena whispered.
She was staring, but rather than meet Karaâs gaze, she was looking lower, eyes fixed on Karaâs lips. Karaâs gut did a backflip at the way Lena was looking at her, mouth slightly parted, flushed, her heart racing.
If Kara was human, she might pick up on those things, or she might not. She might be confused or briefly wonder if Lena was really looking at her the way it seemed she was.
Kara Danvers was not human. She could look up and see particles dancing across the atmosphere in hues for which humans had no names because their eyes were blinded to them. She could hear the rapid beating of Lenaâs heart and see the heat blooming on her skin and taste on her tongue the tangy, pleasant musk of the pheromones Lena was emitting, and she could do it all so fast that her mind processed it so quickly that it could barely be measured. When Lena began to lean towards her, she watched it happen in curious slow motion.
When Lena kissed her, it was an explosion of sensation. Not just the soft warmth of her lips but her scent, her real scent breath the perfumes and sharp tang of wine smell, the pure scent of Lena herself. The soft sigh that broke from Lenaâs lips was a symphony, and Lenaâs hands on Karaâs flanks was like a blast of firecrackers running under her skin to ignite a sudden flare of warmth low in her hips.
Lena was kissing her. Kara was kissing her back, consuming every aspect of the contact in perfect detail, burning it into her solar-powered Kryptonian mind where it would live in perfect detail for the rest of forever.
She gently, oh so gently, pushed Lena back.
âLena, stop.â
âOh,â Lena murmured, her face falling. âI didnât⌠Iâm sorry⌠I thought⌠I misreadâŚâ
âNo, no Lena itâs not that I promise, youâre drunk. Youâve had too much to drink and I canât let you do anything while youâre like this, I couldnât take it if you wake up tomorrow andâŚâ
Lena blinked back tears.
âOh my God. You really are a superhero, arenât you?â
âIâm just being decent.â
Lena smiled sadly. âI donât deserve you.â
âWell, youâve got me, Lena. Youâre not getting rid of me.â
Lena actually laughed, a bitter little chuckle that made her look away in embarrassment.
âI can imagine Lex seething if he found out about this.â
âAlex is going to kill me.â
Lena giggled. âOh my God.â
âWhat, um, what is this, exactly?â said Kara, her voice cracking with tension. âI mean, you kissed me.â
âI did,â Lena said, guarded. âIâve wanted to for so long. How does the saying go? In vino, veritas?â
âIn wine there is truth,â said Kara.
âYeah.â
âLena, weâre going to get through this, I promise, and I will always protect you. Always. Right now I need to protect you from the hangover youâre going to have tomorrow. Iâm putting you to bed, and Iâm sleeping on the couch.â
âYou donât have to do that.â
âI donât have to, but I need to know youâre safe, and you canât get any safer than Supergirl crashing on your couch.â
Lena blurted, âI could have her in my bed.â
Kara thought her soul might leave her body.
âNot when youâve had this much to drink.â
âGod, you are amazing,â Lena sighed.
Kara nodded. âIf you say so.â
It took a while for Kara to actually get Lena into her bed. Lena was suddenly taken with an extreme tiredness and Kara let her lean on her as they walked down the hall, fighting the urge singing in her veins, demanding that she pick her up and just carry her.
She may have been Supergirl, but even she had limits.
Once Lena was curled up in blankets and safe, Kara puttered around the apartment, doing the dishes, cleaning a little before she fell back on the expansive sofa to sleep.
When the warm morning sun woke her, she sat up and found Lena staring at her.
âI didnât dream that. Youâre really here.â
Kara rose from the couch and approached her tentatively.
âYeah. Iâm really here. Lena, if youâre angry with me becauseâŚâ
Lena cut her off, darting forward to plant a soft kiss right on her lips. Kara froze as her brain essentially rebooted.
âOh,â said Kara.
Lena smiled softly. She still looked bedraggled and had clearly been crying, but the smirk on her lips was everything.
#supercorp#supergirl fanfiction#supergirl#supercorp fanfic#lena luthor#kara danvers#kara x lena#karlena#supergirl fanfic#ficlet#identity reveal#love confession#I will never stop writing these#Supercorp Forever#Lena hits the sauce too hard#Lena Luthor loves kids#Sad Lena Luthor#Protective Kara#a hint of drunk chaos gremlin Lena#Kara respects consent#Consent is sexy#lena is a big softie#lena luthor x kara danvers#lena x kara#Kara has super senses#but sheâs still a goof
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Wanna sit on Zayneâs lap (innocently) facing him with my face buried in his chest while he works đ and then maybe after a while grind on him a lil, just enough to rile him up, and then keep doing it until he snaps and pounds me into the nearest surface đ
anon you are not the only one who wants to do this!!! If I've said it once, I'll say it again: ZAYNE WANTS US TO GRIND DOWN IN HIM!! why else would he keep letting us sit in his lap đ¤ˇđťââď¸
Also sorry it took so long for me to write this, work has been brutal đđđ hope you enjoy!!
Dangerous Game


Zayne x reader
Warnings: nsfw minors dni, grinding, orgasm denial, Zayne's big dick (it needs it's own warning), pet names (Angel)
Zayne was busy, always busy. Even when he came home after a long shift at the hospital, he still had more work that needed to be completed. And you understood, you really did, his job was very important and his meticulous nature was just one of the many things you loved about him. But right now you were cursing the seemingly neverending amount of paperwork stacked on the desk next to him. Hearing that he had actually gotten off work on time for once, you were looking forward to spending an evening curled up on the sofa with your loving boyfriend. But your plans were cut short the moment he picked up a pen and started filling out documents. Watching him from the doorway you let out a small sigh, resigning yourself to spending another evening entertaining yourself, when an idea formed in your mind. Hiding the mischievous smirk growing on your face, you tiptoed your way over to Zayne, stopping beside his chair, gently poking his shoulder. Zayne's eyes flickered over to you, pen halting mid stroke as he gave you his full attention.
"Is there something I can help you with, Angel?" His smooth voice never failed to make your heart flutter, honeyed tone soft and tender, a sound reserved solely for you. Your fingers play with the cuff of his sleeve, a small pout on your lips, one you know he loves. "Can I sit with you? I missed you so much and I just want to be close to you for a while." The corners of Zayne's lips curl up into a soft smile, and you knew he'd give you whatever you wanted, after all Zayne could never say no to you. You were his weakness.
An amused chuckle left Zayne's lips as he swivelled his chair to face you, one hand holding yours whilst the other tapped his thigh, inviting you into his lap. "How can I refuse when you asked so nicely. Come on then, take a seat, Angel." He gently pulled you closer, helping you to straddle his lap, another deep chuckle rumbling from his chest as he watches you bury your face in his chest, breathing in his familiar scent. "Now be good for me, I'm almost finished with these reports. Then we can go watch a movie together." He gives a light squeeze to the plush of your hips before his hands leave you, picking up his pen and resuming his work.
You want to be good for him, you really do try, but your mind begins to wander. There's something about being surrounded by him, his scent overwhelming your senses, the steady rhythm of his heart, his muscular thighs below you, it ignites a fire deep within you, and with every passing second you can feel the growing ache in your core.
You start small at first, squirming slightly in his lap, little wiggles that you play off as "just trying to get comfy". And for a while it's enough, but soon the throbbing in your cunt gets stronger, your clit begging for more friction, something to relieve the pressure building up in your lower stomach. You give an experimental rock of your hips, freezing to wait for Zayne's reaction. When he doesn't respond you do it again, setting a steady rhythm as you grind down on his lap. The zipper on the front of his slacks rubs perfectly against your sensitive clit, the pleasure increasing with every roll of your hips, head burying further into the crook of Zayne's neck, his masculine scent filling your nose, pushing you even closer to your orgasm that is building steadily. Your pussy is dripping now, soaking your panties, your empty hole flutters and pulses as you continue grinding in Zayne's lap, too lost in pleasure to register the tiny whimpers leaving your mouth, forgetting all about subtly as your minds only focus is on your orgasm that is fast approaching. Speeding up your movement, hips pressing down harder into his, a breathy moan of his name falls from your lips as you're about to reach your peak. Just as you feel yourself tumbling over the edge, two strong, cold hands firmly grab your hips, halting your movement completely. You whine desperately at the loss of your orgasm, hips frantically chasing more of that delicious friction that would have your cunt gushing into your panties, but it's useless. Zayne's vice-like grip prevents any of your movements, cold fingers bruising as they dig into the soft flesh of your hips.
"Did you really think I would let you finish like that, Angel?" Zayne whispered lowly in your ear, dark tone sending a shiver down your spine. "I thought I told you to be good, but it seems my girl was just too desperate to wait." You let out a pathetic mewl as Zayne presses you further into his lap, only now noticing the large bulge that has formed in his pants, his cock hard and begging for relief as it grinds against your clothed pussy. "You wanted my attention, Angel? Well you've got it. And I'm going to spend the rest of tonight teaching you what happens to bad girls who don't do as their told." He chuckles darkly, hips rutting up into yours, mercilessly guiding your sensitive cunt along the length of his confined cock. "And I'm not going to stop until you're a begging, whimpering mess."

#love and deepspace#zayne#zayne love and deepspace#zayne x reader smut#zayne x reader#zayne x you#love and deepspace smut#lnds zayne#lnds#i want to ride him#love and deepspace x reader#lnd#zayne smut
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¤ High Heels | a.arlert
Pairing: Armin Alert x fem! reader ( it is implied that reader is black)
Synopsis: Based off of my best friend armin drabble, read here for more context. Reader comes over to check and see if armin finished her homework as she so kindly(kind?) asked but ends up with more than just some papers.
Warnings: ŕ¨ŕ§ 2.4k. fem black reader , lowercase intended on some parts, dry humping/grinding, she/ her pronouns, black coded , girly reader , sub! armin , praise, teasing, pet names (pretty , good boy, gorgeous), foot play? (not rlly). comments are welcome and loved!
âMin did you do my work like I asked youâ You huffed as you slide onto his couch. Setting your pink coach purse on his lap smoothing out the wrinkles on your pretty gingham skirt.
Armin turned towards you a disappointed look on his face. â I cant always do your work for you , how will you pass the classâ
âIm going to pass just fine Armin what I dont have time for is you nagging me about something you promised you would doâ You spoke bitterly crossing your arms over your chest.
Armin bristled at the bitter tone you spit out with his name. It was only âArminâ when you were annoyed with him , always a sugary âMinâ or â Minnieâ when you talked to him.
With a sigh Armin took out your neatly folded homework that he had stayed up early in the morning finishing for you. âI cant always do this for you, I hardly have time to do my own work anymoreâ
âSounds like a you problem not mineâ you scoffed playing with the rings on your fingers. Why did he have to be so stubborn! Weren't friends supposed to help each other. You turned towards armins pouting frame a slight grin adorning your glossy lips an idea forming in your head as you slung your brown legs over his thighs bringing your hands to play with his blonde locks.
âWell I suppose if its just too much work for my little minnie to handle I could always ask rennie to do it for me dont wanna stress you out of course â you twirled his hair between your fingers. âYou know chem is his specialtyâ
Armin bristled at the mention of Erens name. Since when did you call him ârennieâ nicknames were always something you reserved for him. Heâll be damned if he lets you spend any more time with the person who has him in this predicament in the first place
N-No its okay I can handle it dont worry your pretty head about itâ
âMhmm pretty? You think im pretty minâ You leaned close brushing your lips over his ear circling your arms around his neck flirty smile adorning your perfect lips
Armin gulped , hands suddenly becoming sweaty, face growing hot. âCourse I doâŚyour the prettiest girl in the worldâ his cheeks flamed pink , he pushed his face into the collar of his sweater fidgeting with the hem of your skirt. God how he secretly loved when you teased him it never failed to have his dick growing tight in his boxers. He mentally sighed already knowing what game you were playing at. You always did this to him whenever you wanted him to do something using your sweet words against him.
âWell arent you adorable. But I donât like complainers so maybe I will take my problems to eren since helping your best friend is such a choreâ an annoyed expression made its way onto your face
You get up grabbing your purse off of his lap popping a piece of gum in your mouth prepared to leave for your dorm , but with one glance at his pants....you see he wasnât embarrassed by your teasing but for another reason
â Oh my god Minnie did you just get hardâ you laughed pulling his flushed face closer to your own peering down at the obvious tent in his pants trying to get a closer look. âThats so pathetic getting turned on from your best friend and I didnt even do anything. Giggling you bring your lips closer to his ear.
âoh my god are you like a pervert or somethingâ
You laughed in his face relishing in how red his face got. Poking at his cheeks and grabbing his jaw in between your manicured hands. âGosh who knew my geek of a best friend could even get it up , I mean arent you nerds supposed to only get any play from your hands and the pathetic little comic book girls and animeâs you watch, you probably jerk off to it too huhâ
â I d-dont I m-mean Im not a perv I dont jerk off to those types of t-thingsâ
Armin stumbled over his words trying to say anything anything that would have you believe him , he didn't want you thinking he was a pervert on top of all the other things he guessed you didn't like about him anymore. The thought alone of you hating something about him made his head ache and his heart grind inside of his chest.
You stood up pressing the heel of your shoe into his growing erection âYour not a pervert? Then whats this minnie seems like you are one to meâ
âYou probably jerk off thinking about me when I leave dont you , I mean if something as small as a little teasing can get you this hard who knows what other perverted thought you think of me , thats so so so dirty and disgusting minâ
He grabbed your ankle trying to remove your foot off of him which only made you press down harder. Armin groaned softly into the palm of his hand desperately trying to control his hips from rutting up into the palm of your shoe , your degrading words combining with how close you two were your perfume invading his senses all made his brain go foggy eyes glossing over.
âAw look at you getting off on me stepping on your poor excuse of a dick ,is it even big? giggling you pressed your face closer to his
"Probably not I mean how could someone like you get that , the only thing your blessed with is that beautiful brain of yours and looks like thats going dumb tooâ you giggled moving your heel back and forth across the erection prodding at his zipper
Armin moaned at your harsh words hands shaking around your ankle as his hips started grinding up onto your shoe , pretty blue eyes starting to brim over with tears
âm-mhm sorry cant h-help it i'm sorry just feels s-so good c-causeyou â he whined pathetically , tears slipping down his milky pink cheeks, trying to convey to you how this was technically your fault and failing miserably but his hips just couldnât stop the slow grinding rhythm that had him start frantically humping your shoe
âGod min your so pathetic look at you getting off on using my shoe like a dog in heat humping his owners leg , your fucking pathetic you know that. "so mind fucked already you cant even control your hipsâ You sneered taking his jaw between your fingers kissing away his tears prying open his mouth spitting your gum onto his pink tongue
âMaybe you should be like this always , my perfect pathetic little puppy" you smiled at the idea "thats all your good for anyways since you cant even handle doing a couple dumb homework assignmentsâ
â.Y-Yea I can do that be your p-puppy mmm - love you s-so much you k-know that⌠dont wanna mmph - loose youâ Armin whined out moving your foot to the same rhythm his hips were going trying to ease that achy feeling in his cock , all his emotions and fears of little you leaving him tumbling out in pathetic whines and whimpers.
âOh min arent you adorable but cant have you cumming like this I mean you havenât even thought about my needs tsk tsk such a selfish boyâ You removed your heel from his body throwing a dissatisfied look his way
âI mean just look at me all drenched for you minnieâ you laughed , âand who woulda thought little ol you could get me like thisâ
Armin went speechless watching you lift the hem of your skirt up giving him a nice pretty view of your soaked pussy through pink panties juices dripping down your thighs. you grabbed his hand placing it right where you needed it , small fingers overlapping his larger ones dragging his fingers up and down your clit circling the small bud.
Armins eyes zeroed in on your pretty panty covered pussy , eyes glossing over in a daze feeling the way the translucent slick coated his fingers feeling the heat of your pretty pussy through your panties
Finally finding some momentum to move because when would a chance to touch gorgeous you like this ever come again he thought, armin pulls your panties to the side thick fingers sliding between your gooey folds marveling in how much your dripping around him.
âI-idiot you gotta put them mhmph inside god have you even done this beforeâ "so kay ill show you min" sliding your self onto his lap you put your back to his chest spreading your thighs over his much larger ones , bringing his hand back down over your pussy. âthis is what you gotta do min make me feel good kayâ you pushed two of his fingers inside your gummy walls back arching at the pleasurable intrusion.
Armin stared in awe at the swell of your breasts that started to poke out of your little top eyes trailing all the way down to where his fingers were now pushed nice and snug inside your pussy. God when was the last time you spoke to him so nicely? That sugary sweet tone you use to have for him returning to your voice. Was this all it took? His fingers plugging your hole for you to be nice to him?
âMin - Min!â You nudge the side of his face trying to nudge him out of his dazed off gaze âYou gotta move your fingers dumb boy come on if you make me cum I promise Ill be reallyyy nice to you from now onâ you smiled up at him leaning up just enough to press a glossy kiss to the side of his mouth
Arminâs ears perked up at that. Maybe you two could finally go back to how you used to be all he had to do was make you cum once? Armin found himself thinking heâd do anything anything to get you to look at him how you use to again without that demeaning gaze you usually held for him. He wrapped his forarm around your waist pulling you flush against him , knees pushing apart your legs to have you fully bared open for him.
He pulled his fingers slowly out of you and plunged them back into you , fingers stretching you out sliding against your gummy walls
âam I doing this right , y-you feel good look reallyy pretty like thisâ fingers fucking into your stuffed cunt at a brutal pace, glossy juices dripping down onto his lap. You could feel his dick twitching beneath you pressing into your behind and oh my god were you wrong about him being small.
âMin - minniee right there making me feel s-so good your such a good boyâ your voice slurred trying to keep your head up but with each nasty thrust of his fingers your resolve fell. Your own fingers gripping his thighs , eyelashes fluttering shut at the familiar tight coil building in your stomach , ass rubbing back and forth over his dick squirming around in his lap
â I-Im your g-good boy? y-yea yourgood boyâ His teeth dug into his pink lips trying to suppress his pitiful noises , words slurring together at the praise you gave him. He shut his eyes in his head he knows he must sound so pathetic right now he just wanted to crawl away in embarrassment. I mean how could he be getting off on just your words praising him and the thick curve of your ass just simply pressing into him.
Even so the thought of disappointing you was even worse than his crippling embarrassment so he circled your clit with his thumb , fingers curling inside of your pink drooling hole, pampering your neck with open mouth sloppy kisses eager to do anything to make you cum to please you
âooo minnie g-gonna cum your gonna make me cum im so closeâ your acrylic fingers curled around his wrist trying to drive his fat fingers deeper in your wet pussy. Armins head dropped on your shoulder slightly damp blonde hair tickling your cheek, thick rimmed glasses sliding down his nose.
âGonna mhmm make you cum pretty gonna make you l-love me again. His words stuttered out of his mouth , his mouth making wet little hickies on your shoulder, thick fingers scissoring your drooling pussy , juices spilling into a small puddle onto his pants mixing in with his own pre cum from your mindless humping.
Armin removed his fingers from your cunt , fingers latching onto your waist arching you forward pulling his cock from the confines of his pants with a small groan from his lips. Pretty pink tip leaking so so much pre cum onto his thighs before he began moving you harshly back and forth on his dick sliding himself between your lips , pussy juices gushing down his shaft.
âGonna cum like this pretty, p-prettiest pussy in the worlds gonna make me cum - mhmm s-so closeâ he rocked you back and forth against his cock gasping when he felt his head bump into your clit eyes rolling back the euphoric feeling of you humping his cock was bringing you both closer and closer to the edge âOhgosh min angel feels so good b-best dick ever your like better than m-my pillowâ you whined out , your moans bouncing off his walls, fingers grabbing his knees to leverage yourself to rut faster against him.
Angel. armin quivered at the soft name leaving your lips. Such a sweet endearment was directed towards him. If he wasn't a goner for you before he definitely was now.
The slick sounds , heavy breathing and your praise combined with all the gushing your pussy was doing and feelings he felt for you pushed him to the edge voice growing hoarse , him cumming onto your pussy with a loud moan head thrown back against the couch. You werenât too far behind him , the feeling of his cum soaking your pussy making you cum with a soft moan , legs shaking nearly making you fall off his lap.
Armin finally gained enough strength to lift his head looking at you only to be met with the sight of your flushed fucked out face dipping between your thighs tasting the mix of cum you two left behind , tongue swirling your fingers leaving a soft pop!
âYou taste good min really impressive for a dumb nerd like youâ You grinned cheekily familiar teasing tone lacing into your voice.
âTell me did grinding your dumb cock through my pussy feel goodâ you stroked your fingers through his hair , his head leaning into your touch before moaning into your palm when you sharply tugged at the blonde strands.
âGonna use your shower now! Make sure my homework is done when I get out then we can finally put your looser cock to more workâ taking off your clothing throwing it into his nearby hamper you blew him a kiss bouncing off to his bathroom.
Armin groaned loudly into his hand a lovesick doupy smile growing onto his lips. God what was he gonna do with you. He should have known one time wouldnât be enough for you!
#armin arlet x reader#armin arlert#attack on titan#aot x black reader#aot x reader#armin arlet smut#armin x fem reader#armin x black fem! reader#armin x black reader#armin x black y/n#aot x black y/n#attack on titan x reader#armin arlert smut#armin alert x reader#armin smut#smut#anime x black!reader#anime x reader#anime x female reader#black reader#wafflingwithedenđ¨#femaholicc#sub armin#armin aot#attack on titan armin
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Sharing is Caring [3.5: ChanLix]
ËĘBang Chan x Lee FelixÉË
ËĘâĄÉË summary: Chris comes home to a seemingly empty dorm, ready to relax and relieve the stress from the day away. Though... he really didn't expect to relieve it like this.
ËĘâĄÉË word count: 5.6k (don't look at me.)
ËĘâĄÉË warnings: member x member content: dont like dont interact <3 (you can also block the #mxm tag), lots of yapping (if you cant already tell by the word count), mentions of poly relationships (specifically skz x female and felix x han), dom!channie and sub-slightly bratty lix hehe, brat taming, slightly meandom chris?, brief mention of chris having a solo-jerking off session, lots of jerking off, multiple rounds, overstimulation, unprotected sex, slight dubcon? (felix says wait a few times but he doesnât really mean it), i thiiiink thats it?
ËĘâĄÉË notes: this took waaaaay too long for me to get out LMFAO but i finally got it done!!! small update on this series: i think im going to make an ot8 x reader (with a mxm sub chapter lol) and then close out this series >.< i wanna keep writing for it but i just have a jumbled mess of mxm ideas so i think i finish with ot8 and decide later on what to do
Sharing is Caring Masterlist
DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!

The events of that first Friday night had haunted Chris. But not in a bad way. It was more so that he hadnât expected any of his members to⌠explore each other in that way. Even after they all had agreed to the polyamorous relationship, he didnât expect anybody to make moves on each other. Let alone the fact that they had done it prior to the main relationships starting.
Though, the more he thought about it, the more sense it made that it was the sunshine twins out of everyone. They got along great, both in public and in the comfort of privacy, and he could recall certain times where rather suspicious looks between the two were exchanged before they disappeared not to be heard from for an hour.
And he sure as hell canât deny how hard he gets at the imagery of what these encounters would look like between the two. Especially not when his jeans manage to get tighter and tighter as the seconds pass and more visions flood in about the smallest two of the group.
But all of this comes to a halt as he takes the final step to be in front of his door. He blinks a few times, not realizing that he had indeed gone up the elevator and walked through the hallway to get to his dorm amidst all his daydreaming. He sighs loudly and digs for his keys in his pocket
Aside from those dirty thoughts lingering, it was eerily quiet as he walks through the hallways of the dorm. He simply assumed that Hyunjin had taken their girlfriend and left the dorm, so he didnât bother to check the youngerâs room. Instead, he just beelined it for his bedroom and closed the door as fast as possible.
He all but tossed his bags on the floor and threw himself onto his bed, exhausted after the hours and hours he had spent in the studio fighting with countless tracks that he just couldnât seem to get right. He laid there like a pile of bones until he eventually pushed off the bed and forced his way to his dresser. A small pile of clothes is picked out and his robe is grabbed before he mozeyd his way to his shower.
The water is much colder than usual. Itâs just barely tolerable but he hopes that it will break down his nasty thoughts, so he sits under the water for much longer than he usually would have. The water trickles down his toned back and he takes a few deep breaths as the last few hours replay in his head.
Han and Changbin had sent him home early, they could tell something was on his mind and he was more distracted than usual. Heâd never admit that it was thanks to the youngest in the room, so he kept quiet and just brushed it off. But after a few hours of working and the two other producers trying to get him to talk about it, and failing, they told him to just go home and relax.
They promised to take care of everything as long as he went home and de-stressed. âMaybe even ask Bunny for help.â He sighs as Changbinâs words replay in his mind. It wasnât a bad idea⌠A very specific type of release sounded pretty good right about now but considering she wasnât around, he was at a standstill.
Either he takes care of himself and prays that itâs enough to satisfy him, or he waits however long he has to for his girlfriend to return home and ask her to help him out. And he decided on the latter. Though, part of him hoped the thoughts would go away naturally during the cold shower.
But once the water becomes unbearable and heâs still plagued with the same images from earlier, he grows even more frustrated. He subconsciously rolls his eyes and groans as he shuts the water off, forcing himself out of the shower. He doesnât bother tying the robe, he just slides his arms through the sleeves and wears it wide open as he walks over to his bed and plops down onto it.
Welp. Plan B.
Some minutes later, his cock aches as he jerks himself off with nothing but thoughts of a certain blonde boy on his knees below him. As if itâs actually happening, his legs spread wider and his hips buck up into his hand. His whole body shivers as his thumb runs through his slit, some of the precum spreading around his tip and making his eyes roll into the back of his skull.
Chan feels like he has no control of his body as he throws his head back and sinks his teeth into his bottom lip. He finally allows himself to make a noise- a quiet whine escaping his throat as his stomach clenches, his orgasm right on its cusp.
Then, a sudden, loud knock on his bedroom door makes him jump out of his skin, and his head spins as his hand flies away from his cock, his orgasm already fading away. He wasnât expecting any visitors and, as far as he was aware, the dorm was completely empty aside from him.
He wholeheartedly thought about ignoring it, hoping that the unknown person would just leave. But then, an all too familiar deep voice calls out to him from the other side of the door, making his arm hairs stick up. âChannie-hyung, are you there? You wanted to talk?â
His eye and his dick twitches and he stares at the door in awe, jaw dropped on the floor. Speak of the devil. He immediately covers himself with the robe, tying it half-assed and rushing to call out to the boy. âY-Yeah! Come in.â
The door knob turns and Chris almost moans at the sight of Felix clad in a tank top and shorts. Even the slightest semblance of skin would send him spiraling but seeing so much of it, and seeing the outline of his entire torso through this tight shirt makes his dick twitch against his robe.
âEarth to Chris~ Hello?âÂ
âAh! Sorry, mate..â He clears his throat and tears his eyes away from the youngerâs chest. âWhatâs up?â
Felixâs face starts to burn red and he smiles knowingly, but he bites his laugh back and repeats his sentence with a more teasing tone. âA little birdy said that you wanted to talk to me about something~â
Chris blinks a few times, staying quiet as he rummages through his foggy brain for an explanation. âAh! Right- UhâŚâ He scratches the back of his neck and saunters over to take a seat directly next to him, shivering when Felix leans in and their thighs touch.
âUhâŚâ Chan rakes his mind as he tries to find the right words, but they donât come. So he opts to simply explain himself and then hopefully find the right wording. âSo. First things first- I donât want to make you uncomfortable so if this crosses a line, we won't speak about it ever again.â Felixâs eyebrow twitches up in curiosity and he nods slowly.Â
âSo⌠Han told me about the two of you.â Felix chuckles and mumbles out a quiet, teasing âYeah?â that makes Chrisâ head spin. He has to bite the inside of his cheek to hold himself back from moaning as Felixâs voice meets his ears again. âActually⌠Han and I spoke the night you three hooked up with our angel, so I know that he told you.â
Felix smiles at the wide eyes he gets in response, but he continues nonetheless. âIt doesnât make me uncomfortable. In fact-â He leans forward even more, placing a hand on Chrisâ thigh and smirking to himself when the older man whimpers, barely audible. âIn fact, I think itâs pretty hot.â
He leans forward all the way and lays his cheek on Chrisâ shoulder, hand sneaking up his thigh more and more. His breath is hot on the olderâs neck and Chris has to physically bite back yet another moan. He can't, however, bite back the strong twitch from the prominent bulge in his robe.
Felix smiles to himself and tests the limits further, ghosting his hand along Chanâs bulge before walking his fingers up his torso. âWeâve spoken about it before, you know?â Chanâs breath gets caught in his throat but he hums in acknowledgement, signaling Felix to continue. âHe told me how big and pretty your dick was. And how submissive you made him feel~. âSaid you were a real good Daddy.â
This time a moan breaks through and falls past Chrisâ lips in a low tone, his legs twitching and arms shaking as he leans back onto them and gives Felix more space to work with. âShit- Really?â It comes out desperate and deep, to the point where it riles up Felix in all the right ways.
âMhm. Made me want a go.â Chanâs eyes snap open and he turns his head to meet the youngerâs gaze. Their faces are inches apart and he can feel his composure fading away with each second. âY-You- Yeah?â
Felix doesnât bother holding back the breathy laugh that comes out. He just nods with his cheek curling up in a smirk. His hand is on Chrisâ collarbone at this point and he traces small circles into the sweaty skin there.
The air is heavy as silence fills the room, but Felix doesnât seem bothered by it. He has a small smile on his face as he continues to tease Chanâs neck with his finger tips. This goes on for a few more seconds as the eldest takes many deep breaths, doing everything in his power to calm his racing heart down. After he finally calms himself down, he finds it in himself to hype himself up.
âSo⌠you want me as bad as I want you?â Felixâs ears start turning red as he nods slowly, lips still pulled up in a smile. Chris only bites his lip, racking his brain for the smallest amount of confidence so he can take control of the situation. The continued silence from the younger man gives him an idea and he finally makes a move, settling his hand on Felixâs cheek to start. His thumb strokes the freckles there and he can feel his confidence grow when the younger melts into his touch.
âMmmm⌠And if Han told you about what happened that night, then I would have hoped he told you that I donât like brats.â Felixâs smirk finally falters and he nods at the older, eyes glossy as they look up at him. Chris sighs and his hand trails down to Felixâs neck where he squeezes it experimentally. âThen⌠You should know better than to not use your words. Right?â Felix exhales deeply and nods again before catching himself.
âYes⌠Sorry.â
Chrisâ chest swells with the confidence that he needed and he squeezes his hand again, watching as Felixâs eyes flutter closed. âWhat is all this for, then? Youâre trying to slut yourself out to me?â Felix shivers and doesnât answer right away, making Chris squeeze his hand tighter and wait until their eyes meet again to loosen the hold. âHuh?â
âYes, I-â He takes a deep breath, âI want you to play with me- like you did with Hannie.â The second the confirmation left his mouth, Chris wastes no time and shoves his lips against Felixâs. The hand around his neck stays there almost possessively as their tongues breach each otherâs mouths. They moan into the kiss as Felixâs hands move to Chanâs biceps. Heâs gotten so big recently, and Felix couldn't lie about how hot and bothered it got him.
The information would have to pried from their cold, dead hands, but neither Han nor Felix could deny that they both got off on just how muscular their members have become recently. Even when they would âhave funâ with just each other, they tended to bring up one of their members and their sexy bodies.
Itâs not until their lungs burn that they pull away from each other. But even then, Chris is already so pent up from weeks of fantasizing, and that mixed with his orgasm getting denied just minutes prior leads to needy impatience. So he, again, wastes no time. He pushes Felix onto the bed by his shoulder and crawls on top of him, sinking his hands and his knees into his mattress as he hovers over him.
His knee pushes up against Felixâs cock through his shorts and his thick lips latch onto Felixâs neck, making the boy moan louder than he expected himself to. He goes to react and cover his mouth with the back of his hand, but Chris reacts faster. He reaches up to capture both of Felixâs small wrists in one of his hands and pins them above his head.
âWhat happened to wanting to play like Hannie? You know, he was really well behaved then.â Felix whines at first at the gruffness in Chanâs voice, but eventually laughs through it once he realizes what he said. âMmm⌠I hate to be the one to tell you, but Hannie and I arenât exactly well behaved in bed. Even to each other. You just got lucky.â
Chanâs hands falter and Felix laughs out loud when he hears the quiet âMore brats? Are you fucking kidding meâŚâ Chris sighs loudly and rubs circles into Felixâs hip as can already feel the future headaches coming on. But, obviously, now is not the time for that. Especially not when he has one of said brats at his disposal, with their consent to play.
âYouâre really gonna make me fight for this? Donât even wanna try being my good boy?â Felixâs eyes shimmer at the pet name and he quickly finds himself in a dilemma. âYouâve been on my mind all fucking week. If you seriously canât find it in you to be good, Iâm not going to hold back when I fuck you like a whore.â Felix shivers and his leg kicks up as Chanâs knee pushes against him harder.Â
Their lips lock and Chrisâ hands move to trail up and down his body, from ghosting over his chest to sliding up under his shirt just to rake his dull nails down Felixâs stomach. Then they drop lower and tug Felixâs shorts down just enough so that his V-line is on display. As he tugs the shorts down, he kisses down Felixâs throat, making a pit stop there to leave dark hickeys into his skin.
Felixâs hips buck up and Chris indulges him by running his hands on his hips, squeezing them in appreciation before swinging around to knead his ass, spreading him through his shorts just to push them back together.
âPretty thing. You really gonna let me play with you?â Felix nods eagerly and whimpers when Chris yanks his shirt over his head and then kisses down his chest.
âH-Hyung..â Chris only smiles in response. He bites his lip and looks Felix up and down once more, ghosting his hands over the younger boyâs hip bone.
âHmmm?â
âPlease take them off! I need you so bad.â Chris isnât one to tolerate being bossed around, but he did ask nicely with a cute little comment at the end, so he lets it slide this time. He tugs Felixâs shorts down to his ankles as he nibbles on his hip. When he pulls away, his eyes widen at the sight of Felix being completely bare now- his pretty cock twitching just inches from his face.
âFelix⌠Where is your underwear, baby.â Felixâs face flushes and he smiles sideways.
âWe played a little before you got home. Hyunjin and I made her squirt like two hours ago.â Chanâs eyebrow cocks and he slowly nods with a smirk.
âGood jobâŚâ Chris mutters under his breath. He kisses Felixâs waist and squeezes his hips, humming against his skin as he appreciates the youngerâs smaller form. âCanât wait to fuck this pretty little ass.~â
Chris reaches into his nightstand and pulls out a small bottle of lube, spurting some onto his fingers before poking at Felixâs puckering hole. He slides a finger in all too easily, and for a moment the thought of somebody other than Han getting Felixâs ass before him. He frowns at the thought, jealousy filling his veins, and he shoves that finger in to the knuckle suddenly, almost as a punishment for Felix.
The younger moans high-pitched and keens, his back arching off the bed. Chris smiles and nibbles at Felixâs stomach, leaving hickies all along his v-line. Felix already feels so full by the time Chris adds his second finger, then even more when a third gets added- stretching Felix out more than his small fingers ever had. Or Hanâs fingerâs for that matter.
He revels in the stretch for some time, rolling his hips back and forth onto the knobby fingers that dig into his walls. As heâs doing this, Chris sneaks his other hand from palming his cock through his robe in favor of wrapping around Felixâs base, squeezing it softly before starting to stroke him slowly.
âWas it just Han?â He gives Felix time to answer, understanding that it can be overwhelming, but when the boy stays quiet he curls his fingers roughly, digging perfectly into Felixâs prostate and making him cry out, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.
âI asked you a question, Lix.â Chanâs fingers speed up as his other hand focuses on tight, long strokes, causing Felixâs eyes to flutter shut as he moans and clenches around the fingers inside of him.
âY-Yes just him! I swear! I havenât- ah! I havenât talked to any of the others about it yet.â Chanâs eyebrows perk up and he smirks, ââYetâ?â He laughs and pulls his fingers out, manhandling the younger boy to flip over and lay on his stomach instead.
Heâs in the process of sliding his robe off when Felix starts to wiggle around too much for Chanâs liking, so he tsks and sends his palm onto the flesh of Felixâs ass. The younger yelps and halts his movements, allowing Chris to take hold of his wrists and pin them to his lower back.
Chris whistles and massages the reddening flesh of Felixâs ass, admiring just how red it got from one small spank. His tongue poked the side of lip as he grew distracted with thoughts of making them even more red, but was brought back down to earth by the whines coming from below him.
He shushes Felix and tightens the grip on his wrists. Then he moves his hand down to pump himself a few times, even putting a show onto circle his tip around Felixâs rim, much to the youngerâs dismay.
âM-Man⌠Chris hurry the hell u-â Heâs interrupted by a yelp caused by the much harsher slap to the same ass cheek as before. Chris huffs and his hand comes down on Felixâs other ass cheek, making the boy twitch with a whimper.
âLose the âtude.â Chris finally pushes in, moving his hands to hold onto Felixâs hip in order to lift his ass up higher, making him rest on his knees instead of being flat on his stomach. Once heâs nearly bottomed out all the way, he gives Felix some time to get used to the feeling of being full and slithers that same hand down his stomach so he can wrap his hand around Felixâs dick.
âOh my g-od⌠âSo big-â His veiny hand pumps slowly, making the younger moan and clench harder around him, and making himself groan in response. âH-Hyung.. Please move. I-I canât-â Chris hushes him, placing a kiss on his shoulder as he starts to move slowly. Felix shakes and arches his back, heâs still sensitive from the orgasm he had earlier and he canât help but clench even harder at feeling so much fuller than heâs used to.
âF-Fuck.. Youâre so tight Lix. You gotta relax, baby.â
Felix shivers and tightens his hands in the sheets as Chris squeezes his hips and thrusts his hips upwards experimentally. When Felix moans and arches his back, Chris moves to rest on his forearms near the younger boyâs head, nails digging into the sheets as his hips gradually grow rougher and rougher. He moves cautiously though, eyes locked onto Felixâs as the younger shakes beneath him.
Every time Chris bottoms out, Felixâs voice cracks in a moan. His small hands release the sheets in favor of digging his nails into Chrisâ forearm. âChannie!â Chan responds by slamming his hips against Felixâs, bottoming out in one fell swoop. âUse your words, baby. Be a big boy and tell me what you want.â
âI need it faster Hyung- Please-â Chris fixes his posture and uses the grip on Felixâs hips to pull him backward. Then he slams his hips forward and pulls Felix back onto him at the same time, making the man below him silently scream. He repeats this action, harshly fucking into Felix and pulling him back onto him with each thrust.
Felix is drooling onto the sheets at this point, and Chris can feel his sanity slipping from him as he relishes in the feeling of Felixâs heat around his cock. Chrisâ jaw drops and he breathes heavily as Felixâs ass milks him dry, his own cock twitching as it drips cum onto Chrisâ sheets.Â
They stay there for a moment, catching their breaths and calming down from their orgasms. Chris is the first to recover, pulling out of Felix slowly as if to tease him further. Felix shivers and swats his hand back at Chris with a whine. The older man laughs and holds him still until heâs finally out all the way, then his hands on Felixâs hips move to his ass cheeks, spreading him open and allowing him to watch his cum drip out of Felixâs gaping hole.
Felixâs head is still spinning, so he canât bring himself to complain at Chrisâ heavy gaze. He barely notices when heâs pulled to his feet, the only thing ground him being Chrisâ thick lips pushing against his. Itâs a short, sweet kiss. Just one that Chris used to make sure Felix was ok.
Once heâs sure, he leads Felix to his bathroom and digs in the cabinets for a washcloth to clean the younger man with. When he finds one and turns back around, his cock twitches back to life at the sight of Felix studying the hickeys and little red marks- soon to be bruises- on his hips. With a smile on his face.
Chris feels his cock twitch at the sight and he finds himself slowly stalking towards the bathroom mirror where he settles himself behind Felix, his arms wrapping around the younger's waist. Felixâs smile doesnât falter as they make eye contact and Chris acts before he thinks, grinding his hips against Felixâs ass as his lips latch onto the boyâs shoulder.
Felixâs eyes widen and he laughs in disbelief, âYouâre hard again??â Chris giggles against his skin and bites down, angling his hips to push his cock between Felixâs ass cheeks. âI wasnât lying when I said youâve been on my mind all week. âBeen dreaming about fucking your brains out.â
One of Felixâs eyebrows cocks up and he bites his lips to hide his smirk, his inner brat coming back out now that he can think straight. âWho said you fucked my brains out? Last I checked I can still think properly.â Chrisâ eyes roll in faux annoyance and he closes his eyes for a second, opening them back up with a fire in them as he pulls away from the new hickey he just left.
âReally?â
Felix smiles and reaches out to turn on the water for the washcloth, not expecting much more out of Chris right now considering he just came an insane amount inside of him- the cum still dripping down his thighs as they speak.
What he didnât account for was how pent up Chris was. He didnât know how bad his cock has ached the last few weeks for him, or how distracted and frustrated heâs been at work- unable to focus on anything but the thoughts of Felix below him at his mercy.
Chris doesnât have much patience at this point, and even less self control, so itâs no surprise to himself when he angles Felix forward just slightly and slides a hand between them to slide his tip into the younger boyâs hole. It surprises Felix though, and his eyes roll into the back of his head as Chris sinks in all the way, his balls hitting his ass in the process
âW-Wait- Hyung-?â Felixâs fingers dig into the counter as Chris starts moving right off the bat. Heâs had multiple orgasms in the last few hours and he can feel himself slipping into some sort of subspace as Chrisâ hands sneak a tight grip into his hair.
âHm. For somebody whoâs ânot fucking your brains out,â you sure look like a brainless slut on my cock.â Felix moans loudly at Chrisâ mean words, even more so at how unbothered he sounds, and his eyes snap open. His eyes quickly fall to the mirror in front of him and he shivers at the reminder of the hickeys littering his neck, feeling like heâs been claimed of sorts.
Chrisâ eyes meet his in the mirror and he shakes aggressively when Chris thrusts harshly, his hand wrapping around Felixâs base at the same time. His hands move fast and Felix cries out as his orgasm builds insanely fast out of nowhere, the stinging feeling on his head only egging him on further. His body doesnât give him anytime to warn Chris as he cums suddenly, his cock spurting onto the counter and some onto Chrisâ hand.
He can see the smirk grow on Chris face, but his overstimulated body could care less about that, only focused on the squeeze around his cock. His own hand bolts down to Chrisâ and he moans at the difference in the size of them. He wraps his hand around Chrisâ wrist instead and tries to pull him away, only for Chris to squeeze him tighter and growl into his ear.
âWait...â Felix shakes his head as tears prick his eyes. Chris would normally stop himself and allow the other person some time to breathe, but he feels this is a sufficient punishment for Felix trying to brat out- just for him to fail anyway.
The hand in his hair moves in favor of pinching his nipples and Felixâs eyes roll shut at the extra attention on his body. His legs shake almost nonstop and he can barely hold himself up. But despite all the overstimulation, his hips still push back against Chrisâ, making the older man huff out a laugh.
Soon enough Chrisâs hand releases Felixâs cock, allowing him to breathe for a moment, and only a moment, because that hand digs into the muscles on Felixâs thigh and lifts it up. He angles his leg to rest his knee on the counter, allowing Chris to thrust even deeper now.
âChris⌠Iâm- shit!â His head drops and his arms shake, struggling to hold himself up. The new depth mixed with the sensitivity of his entire body makes Felix clench constantly around Chris.
âGonna cum again, angel? âS Channie gonna make you cum again?â His voice wavers as he talks, his own orgasm dangerously close.
Felixâs chest heaves as he cums and Chris follows, a string of curses leaving his lips as he pushes them against Felixâs jawline. As he continues fucking into Felix to ride out his orgasm, Felix cums again, this time with a desperate cry that makes his voice crack and the tears in his eyes finally fall. Chris pulls out suddenly and holds Felix tightly against his chest as he jerks the younger off, making him convulse in his hold.
He whimpers and digs his nails into any part of Chris that he can reach, leaving red marks in his handâs wake. He only calms down once Chris releases him fully, causing him to sob quietly at the overstimulation.
âYou okay?â Felix nods slowly and leans back, putting all his weight on Chris as he feels his mind hovering elsewhere. Chris recognizes the general signs of subspace all too easily, having already experienced it multiple times with their girlfriend, and he chuckles lowly. âShower time and then weâll cuddle to sleep.â
He leaves no room for disagreements, and even if Felix could talk, he wouldnât bother. So he simply holds onto Chris tightly as the older man washes his body off, being cautious when cleaning below his belly button. They only separate for a minute or so, so that Chris could wash himself off again, before theyâre stepping out of the shower.
Chris manages to dress Felix then himself in a few minutes, laughing to himself when Felix wobbles over to the bed and throws himself onto it. Felix whines loudly when Chris doesnât join him right away, and then again when he realizes Chris is trying to speed clean the mess they left.
âIâm coming, Iâm coming~â He giggles and hurriedly tosses their clothes into a combined pile out of the way before sliding under the sheets. âAnything hurt?â Chrisâs fingers soothe Felixâs scalp and the younger of the twoâs head bobs as he feels sleep pulling him. âUh-uhâ He doesnât bother shaking his head and just melts into the warm embrace.
âSleepyâŚâ
âGo to sleep, Lixie. Iâm not going anywhere, pinky promise.â
The morning after is colder than he expected. Chris wakes up to an empty bed, and the revelation makes his heart feel emptier than ever. He lifts his head briefly to scan the room, and then closes his eyes in relief when he sees Felixâs clothes still in a pile with his own clothes from last nightâs events. Then, the sound of familiar laughter coming from elsewhere in the apartment immediately comforts him.
âMorning sleepyhead. Care to explain why Felix came out of your room last night, in clothes that are deeeefinitely not his?â The shit eating smile on their girlfriend's face makes his face flush, even more so when he realized that Felix kept quiet in order to let him decide what to tell them. âNot well behavedâ my ass. Just gotta fuck the brat out of you.
He clears his throat to hide a laugh and shakes his head. âStraight to the point. Canât even let me have my morning coffee before I get interrogated?â She rolls her eyes at him but smiles and doesnât press further. âI expect details later!â She places a kiss on his cheek and then runs off to the living room to join Hyunjin in watching some artsy YouTube video, allowing Chris and Felix to have some space to talk.
âGood morning, Lix.â He leans over the younger man and husks out into his ear teasingly, caging him in with his arms planted on either side of the counter. âSlept well?â
âLike a fucking babyâŚâ Felixâs neck flushes and they both giggle quietly. âGood morning, though. Sorry I left you alone in bed, I heard them out here and got âFOMO.ââ
Chris smiles and shakes his head, âItâs ok, I was a bit sad but I guess itâs best to not lay in bed all morning.â Chris makes his coffee immediately after he separates from Felix, using the coffee they had made before he woke up to do so. He notices Felix doesnât leave him after that. Had he not known the boy for the last decade almost, he would have been confused as to why. But the nervous picking at his fingernails gives him away to his leader all too easily.
âSit with me? Whatâs on your mind, Lix?âÂ
He makes a face of surprise before smiling and shaking his head knowingly. âMight sound dumb, but I just wanna know- Like⌠So what now?â His voice drops almost to a whisper as he finds the confidence to ask such a heavy question, and heâs happy when he does when Chris smiles sweetly and tilts his head.
âNow⌠Youâre mine and Iâm yours.â Felix smiles and bites his lips, playing around with his fingers in excitement.
âMhm⌠What does this mean for everybody else then?â
âWhatever you want it to mean. Baby girl and Han will still love you the same as before- if anything the three of you might unite against me into some sort of fucking brat-brigade.â He rolls his eyes and takes another sip of his coffee, smiling into the cup when Felix bursts out laughing.Â
âOh⌠And since weâre on the topic of âeverybody elseââŚâ Chris clears his throat and cracks his neck to shake the bits of shyness he feels. âLast night when you said you hadnât talked to any of the others âyetâ⌠Is that something you want?â
Felixâs face flushes and he laughs nervously. âYeah⌠I think so. Iâm not sure who would want me like that, but Iâd be open to all of them to be honest. I think Hannie feels the same, but I think we both know he has a favorite he would want the most.â Both men laugh and Chris scoots his chair closer to Felix.
Once heâs close enough, he slugs his arm around Felixâs shoulders and pulls the younger into him. âLet me help you then, yeah? Make your life a little easier.â Felixâs eyebrows widen and he snaps his head up to see a soft smile on Chanâs face followed by those thick lips pushing against his temple. âWhatever my babies want, my babies get.â
â...Even if that means conquering all of our friends in bed.â
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hiiiii, could you please write anything fluffy with Hughes!brothers pls when you have time đ. Hope ur doing well xx â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
I'm doing okay thank you for asking x
word count- 1003
Being the eldest of four siblings meant you had always been the one looking out for Quinn, Jack, and Luke. You were a year older than Quinn, three years older than Jack, and five years older than Luke. But for the past year, you had been traveling the world, chasing adventure and discovering new places.Â
As incredible as it had been, nothing compared to home, and you missed your family more than words could express. Jack and Luke had made it painfully obvious how much they missed you, constantly sending you messages and complaining about how quiet things were without you. Quinn, being Quinn, wasnât as vocal, but you knew he felt the same. And your parents? They were counting down the days until you returnedâexcept they had no idea today was the day.
You had planned this surprise down to the last detail. Turning off Life360 and telling your family youâd be in a no-service area had worked like a charmâno suspicions at all. You knew they were all at the lake house for the summer since hockey was on pause, which made it the perfect opportunity. Your flight had been at an ungodly hour, and by the time you landed in Michigan, the sun was already starting to dipâ5 PM, just in time for their weekly game night.
Your childhood best friend, who was just as excited as you, had eagerly agreed to pick you up from the airport. The moment you stepped into the arrivals area, she sprinted toward you, practically tackling you in a hug.
âY/N!â she shrieked, squeezing you so tight you could barely breathe. "god i misses you so much"
âI missed you too ,â you said breathlessly, laughing as you hugged her back.
The car ride to the lake house was filled with nonstop chatter, catching up on everything you had missed.
âOh my God, I met the hottest man while I was in Australia,â you gushed, still thinking about how dreamy he had been. âHe was just⌠ahh.â
She smirked, shaking her head. âI need details later. But first, letâs make your family cry.â
As soon as you arrived, you left your luggage in the car, making a mental note to grab it later. Your best friend had already put the next phase of the plan into motionâtexting your mom, telling her she missed you and wanted to come over. In reality, she was setting up the perfect moment to record everyoneâs reaction.
She walked inside, greeted everyone with a hug, and casually took a seat on the couch, pulling out her phone she sent you a quick text Now and quickly switching to the camera app to record.
Taking a deep breath, you walked toward the door, heart pounding in anticipation.
You pushed it open gently, stepping inside. âso who is winning? Also where was my invite?â
For a moment, there was silenceâstunned, disbelieving silence.
Then all hell broke loose.
Your mom gasped so loudly you thought she might pass out, and before you could blink, she was rushing toward you, arms wide open, tears streaming down her face. âOh my babyâmy babyâs home!â she sobbed, hugging you so tightly it felt like sheâd never let go.
Jack let out an actual screamâhigh-pitched, borderline embarrassingâand launched himself at you, nearly knocking you over. âNO WAY! NO WAY! Y/N! YOUâRE HERE! YOUâRE REALLY HERE!â His voice cracked mid-sentence as he clung to you like a koala.
Luke was right behind him, eyes already red and watery. âI missed you so much,â he choked out, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face in your shoulder.
You felt another set of arms around youâQuinn. He didnât say much, just a whispered, âI really missed you,â but the way his voice wavered told you everything you needed to know.
Your dad was wiping his eyes, trying (and failing) to keep it together. âThis is the best surprise ever,â he said, pulling you into a tight hug.
Jack sniffled dramatically, rubbing his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. âI donât care if it makes me look weakâIâM CRYING,â he announced.
Luke nodded furiously, wiping his own tears. âSame.â
Quinn, still hugging you, just sighed. âYeah⌠me too.âÂ
Your best friend cackled from the couch, still recording. âIâm so glad I got all of this on video.â
Jack groaned. âThis is so embarrassing.â
Jack wiped his face aggressively with his sleeve. âWhatever. Iâm just happy youâre home.â
Luke sniffled, still clinging to you like a lost puppy. âYouâre not allowed to leave again.â
Quinn, who had finally let go, gave you a soft smile. âAgreed.â
Your mom cupped your face, eyes still shining with happy tears. âYou have no idea how much weâve missed you.â
You leaned into her touch, sighing contentedly. âI missed you all more than words can say.â
Before you could say anything else, Jack suddenly gasped. âWAIT. YOU HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO ME FOR GAME NIGHT.â
Luke pouted. âUh, no? Sheâs sitting next to me.â
âGuys,â Quinn interrupted, raising an eyebrow. âShe just got here. Let her breathe.â
Your dad chuckled. âOr at least let her eat first.â
But before you could even think about food, Jack grabbed your hand, dragging you toward the couch. âNope, nope, game night first. Youâve missed too many already!â
Luke plopped down on your other side, still holding onto your arm like a security blanket. âYouâre not moving from this spot, Y/N.â
Quinn shook his head but didnât argue as he sat across from you, smiling softly. âIt really is good to have you home.â
Your mom brought over snacks, still occasionally wiping her eyes. Your dad gave your shoulder a squeeze before settling in next to your mom. Your best friend, having successfully recorded every teary-eyed reaction, put her phone down with a satisfied grin and leaned against you.
And as you sat there, sandwiched between your brothers, hearing their laughter, feeling their warmth, you realized thisâthis was home.
Jack suddenly squeezed your hand. âPromise you wonât leave for that long again?â
You squeezed back, looking around at your family, at the pure love radiating from each of them.
âI promise.â
And for the first time in a long time, your heart felt completely full.
#send in requests#thanks anon!#jack hughes#luke hughes#quinn hughes#nhl x reader#hughes reader#hughes brothers#hughes sister!reader#jack hughes x reader#quinn hughes x reader#luke hughes x reader
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could you do a dae ho fic please? Like the reader was a barista he has a crush on but never had the courage to ask out previously to the games. And then once they get into the games he protects her and she reveals she always found him cute as well. Thanks :)
so, i may have gotten carried away while writing this one. pretty sure i typed out wayyy too many unnecessary details oops! (but i can't help it i'm sorry). anyways, i love dae-ho so so much like <3333 such a cutie
⧠pairing: kang dae-ho x fem!reader
⧠summary: dae-ho happened to be a regular at the cafe you worked at as a barista, and you had started to grow feelings for him over time. when you find yourself in the games, he ends up there as well and ultimately saves your life. fearing for your life and the fear of the unknown leads to late night confessions.
⧠content: typical squid game violence, mentions of death, i think that's it. literally just straight fluff
⧠word count: 4.8k
Your life was quiet, but you enjoyed it that way. Being a barista was the perfect job for you, it was relaxing and there was nothing you loved more than interacting with customers, especially the regulars. Unfortunately, while you loved your job, it wasnât enough. You lived in a cramped apartment that was cozy, but your job just barely covered the rent. On top of that, you couldnât cover your debt. You were swimming in debt, trying your hardest to help pay for your younger sister's medical bills. She was ill, and constant hospital trips and stays started building up fast. It was just the two of you, your parents having passed a few years prior. You would do anything for your sister, but having the loan sharks breathing down your neck constantly was beginning to drive you insane. You needed more money and fast.
Lost in thought, you absentmindedly drew shapes into the counter with your fingernail. The cafe was quite slow, but with the gloominess and light drizzle outside, it made sense. The bell above the door rang, signaling that someone had entered. Looking up, you immediately began to smile. One of your favorite regulars, Dae-ho, had stepped inside.
His eyes immediately met yours and he smiled at you, making your heart flutter. Dae-ho was the most kind, genuine soul you had ever met. He never failed to light up your day, even just by being in his presence. He truly was a gentleman, most likely thanks to growing up with four sisters.
âJust the usual?â You asked as he walked up to the counter.
âWhat, no âhello Dae-ho, how are youâ?â He asked teasingly as you rolled your eyes.
âHello Dae-ho, how are you?â You feigned annoyance, however you truly did want to know how he was doing. Youâd be lying if you said you hadnât developed a crush on the man in front of you. He was incredibly sweet to you (and incredibly handsome), so how could you not fall for him?
âIâm great, (Y/N). And yes, Iâll take my usual.â The grin on his face was contagious, and you smiled, nodding as you began to make his order. He was a man of simple taste, ordering an Americano every time he came in. While you made it (and grabbed him a free pastry), you could hear him ask how you were doing.
âOh, you know. Same shit different day. Just trying to get by,â You replied as you snapped the lid on his drink. Turning around, you slid it across the counter along with the bagged pastry. Dae-ho furrowed his brows at the sight of the pastry, looking at you questioningly. You shook your head before he could say anything. âJust take it, Dae. Itâs on me.â
His cheeks turned a little pink at the sound of the nickname, but he nodded gratefully. He placed his money for the coffee in your hand, your skin tingling as his fingers brushed yours. You took the money and put it in the register, handing him back his change. Of course, he took his change and put it in your tip jar.
Before he picked up his items, he looked at you as you leaned on the counter. Your eyes were so full of life, the smile on your lips making his heart thud. But he could see the exhaustion in your face, no matter how hard you tried to hide it. Without thinking, he leaned over and tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. His fingers brushed against your jaw gently. Eyes wide, you looked at him, cheeks starting to burn. He smiled softly, dropping his hand and picking up his coffee and pastry.
âIâll see you tomorrow, yeah?â He asked, even though he knew your work schedule like the back of his hand. You nodded, still dazed, as he chuckled and walked off with a small wave.
Once outside the shop, he cursed to himself. Oh, how he wishes he were bold enough to ask you out. Every time he thought he could do it, he backed out, fearing rejection. He didnât want to mess up the friendship the two of you had. One day, he promised himself.
â Once you had closed up shop for the day, you locked the doors to the cafĂŠ and headed towards the subway.
You sat down on a bench, placing your bag directly next to you. While you waited, you stared at the ground in front of you as you absentmindedly picked at your cuticles. When you werenât working and keeping yourself distracted, the stress started to take over.
Your body tensed as someone sat next to you. Turning your head, you saw a man dressed in a nice suit, a briefcase by his side. Sighing, you scooted away a little bit more. âWhatever youâre selling, Iâm definitely not interested.â
âIâm not selling anything. In fact, I would like to let you in on a great opportunity. Would you like to play a game with me?â
You frowned, confusion evident on your face. A game? Seriously? Turning towards him, you studied him for a moment. Something about this man was off putting. As you were about to open your mouth to decline his offer, he opened up a briefcase. The words died on your tongue as you saw the stacks of money.
âIâm sure youâve played ddakji before, yes?â He asked as he picked up the red and blue squares. You nodded slowly. âPlay a few games with me. And each time you win, Iâll pay you a 100,000 won.â
You stared at the money as you pondered. You needed this. A couple games of ddakji couldnât hurt, right?
And you played. You had won most of the rounds, earning a couple of slaps in the face when you didnât. By the time the game was over, you had accumulated a decent amount of money. Of course, not nearly enough to cover what you needed it for. As you sat there counting the money, the salesman began to speak.
âYou know, miss. There are more games like this where you can win even more.â
You paused, looking up at him. It sounded too good to be true. As you were going to decline, he began to list all of your personal information. He knew your name, your occupation, the amount of debt you had accumulated. Your mouth dropped, unable to get a word out. He smiled smugly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a card. He handed it to you, and you snatched it.
âWe donât have many spots left.â
Those words resonated with you as you sat in your apartment. Taking a deep breath, you called the number on the back of the card.
âDo you wish to participate in the game? If you wish to participate, please state your name and birthdate.â
Next thing you knew, you were standing on a street corner in the dark. You rocked back and forth on your heels anxiously as you waited. Soon enough, a car pulled up next to you, rolling down the window. A masked person donning a pink suit turned his head in your direction.
âMs. (Full name)?â
You nodded, following up with the password they had given you over the phone. The back door slid open and you climbed in, noticing the other people in the seats who were seemingly asleep. You shook off the uneasiness, trying to get comfortable in the seat. Seconds later, steam began to fill the car, making you cough. And then the world went dark.
~
When you awoke, your brain felt fogged and you were incredibly groggy. You screwed your eyes shut as the overhead lights threatened to blind you. Classical music filled your ears, and you groaned as you sat up. Opening your eyes, you scanned your surroundings. Numerous people were getting out of their beds, all wearing the same green tracksuit with numbers plastered on the back. Quickly looking down, you saw that you wore the same thing. Then you noticed your number in bold white, 301. You got out of the bed, making your way down the stairs the same way everyone else was. As you were taking it all in, the doors at the front of the room underneath the screen opened. Multiple masked figures stepped out, walking forward. The one in the front began speaking.
âI would like to extend a hearty welcome to all of you. Everyone here will participate in six games over the course of six days. Those who win will receive a handsome cash prize.â
Players began to speak up. All made good points, and you agreed that you all being basically kidnapped and the masked guards were a little strange.
Then, you gasped as multiple players were shown on screen playing the game of ddakji, announcing their names and how much debt they were in. Thankfully, your name didnât come up.
When it came time, you got in line and signed the consent form. You didnât bother reading it, you were just here to play some games after all. You were sure it was just some dumb fine print that didnât really mean anything.
Soon enough, yourself and all of the other players filed into a multi-colored room. There were stairs leading up, and as you looked around you noticed multiple guards stationed in different spots. Shaking off your unease, you stepped up to the photo booth and turned to face the camera. Upon hearing the âsmile!â, you mustered up a small smile that didnât quite reach your eyes.
âThe first game will begin momentarily. After having your picture taken, follow the staffâs instructions and proceed to the game site.â
You followed behind the other players up the stairs, coming up to a large door where everyone was filing into.
âWelcome to the first game. All players, please wait a moment on the field.â
You entered the large clearing in front of you, squinting as the sunlight hit your eyes. As your eyes adjusted, you looked around at the four large walls and the comically large doll with the tree directly ahead. There were two guards standing on either side of it.
Suddenly, the three large doors slammed shut behind you with a loud clank. You gasped and turned around, as did many others.
âThe first game is Red Light, Green Light. Cross the finish line without getting caught in five minutes. If you do, you pass.â
Suddenly, someone pushed past you to get to the front of the group. He seemed frantic, turning towards everyone.
âEveryone!â he shouted, waving his arms in the air. He had your full attention now. âEveryone listen up, pay attention!â
âThis is not just a game! If you lose the game, you die!â
Your breath caught in your throat. Thereâs no way he was serious, right? How could you possibly die playing a childrenâs game? Others seemed to think the same thing, as someone asked him what the hell he was talking about. âWeâre going to die playing Red Light, Green Light?â someone asked with a scoff.
âYes, thatâs right! If they catch you moving, they will kill you! They will shoot you from somewhere! Stay on your toes. That dollâs eyes are motion detectors!â
Murmurs rippled through the crowd, no one seeming to take his word for it. Many were voicing their thoughts that this was just some ploy to get all of the money for himself.
âYou have to believe me!â His voice was laced with desperation. As he finished his sentence, the doll began to whir to life, turning to face the tree. Its arm raised up, placed against the tree. The man, player 456, whirled around, panic evident in his movements.
âDo not be alarmed or panic! No matter what happens, do not panic and start running!â
Your heart began to hammer in your chest. Something in your gut told you to believe him. He seemed way too genuine to be making this all up.
âLet the game begin.â
The timer across the room flickered to life, displaying a red five minute timer.
Mugunghwa Kkoch-i Pieossseubnida
You began to move forward, freezing as the doll whirled back around and player 456 held up his hands. âFreeze!â He yelled out. Everyone stayed as still as a statue.
âWell done! You just need to stay calm like this!â
Once the doll turned again, you started to run forward, freezing again moments later. The doll's head turned, its eyes calculating everyoneâs movement. Player 456 continued to yell out instructions, and so far everyone seemed to be listening despite calling him crazy.
Mugunghwa Kkoch-i Pieossseubnida
You began to run forward again, stopping dead in your tracks along with everyone else. This continued successfully for a couple of cycles. For a moment though, while you were all paused, someone began to scream. Yourself and many others side eyed the girl in shock.
âCrap. I just moved.â And with that, moments later, a gunshot rang out. Your eyes widened, unmoving, but terrified.
âNOBODY MOVE!! You must not move!â Player 456 shouted frantically, not wanting panic to ensue. Unfortunately, it was far too late for that. Multiple gunshots began to follow the first, people dropping around you left and right. Blood began to cover the field. It seemed non-stop. Your body began to tremble, feeling nauseous as the chaos unfolded around you. Player 456 was screaming at this point, trying to save everyone that he could.
âLet me repeat. You can move forward while the tagger shouts âGreen light, red lightâ. If your movement is detected afterward, you will be eliminated.â
After the announcement, the game resumed. This time, nobody dared to move from their spot. Once the green light was given again, the only person to move was player 456. And then again, he was the only one to move. Everybody was glued to their spot, too terrified to move. He began to shout instructions again, telling everyone to get behind someone bigger than you. Thatâs exactly what you did at the next cycle, getting behind players 120 and 124. You stayed close behind as they moved forward, trying to make sure your movement was minimal. This continued until you were almost at the finish line.
âLETS GO!â Player 456 screamed, everyone beginning to push forward as fast as they could. You did the exact same, until your foot slipped as you were trying to come to a stop. Fear coursed through your body as the ground got closer, the doll about to turn around. Everything was moving in slow motion. This was it, this was how you were going to die. Your eyes screwed shut, waiting for the impact from the ground and the bullet. Suddenly, though, you werenât moving anymore. The back of your jacket was held tightly by somebody behind you, right as the doll said red light and turned. Your eyes flew open in shock, not daring to move a muscle. It was the longest moment of your entire life, praying whoever had their grip on your jacket didnât lose it. As soon as the doll turned back around, whoever was behind you instantly pulled you back up. Your arm was grabbed and you were hastily pulled towards the red line, being shoved over it as the doll said red light. You stumbled and fell to your hands and knees, wheezing as you tried to catch your breath. Then you paused, whipping around to see who it was.
And there he was, standing mere inches from the finish line. You stared at him, mouth agape. Dae-ho was standing right in front of you, the number 388 plastered to his jacket. Your heart thudded in your chest, your ears ringing. You couldnât even process it, that he was in this mess just like you were. Moments later, he crossed the line, running straight to you. He crouched down next to you, gripping your face in his hands like he was making sure you were real. Your lips parted, but words refused to come out. He had just saved your life and there you sat trembling like a leaf, not even able to muster a âthank youâ. However, he didnât say anything either. His eyes said it all. He was completely terrified.
âDae-hoâŚâ You whispered, your voice shaking. Before he could respond, everyoneâs heads shot up towards the sky. A retractable roof was closing over the top of the arena, closing you all in like animals in a cage.
Before he could say anything, you were all being herded back to the main room. The guards gave you no time to process anything, forcing you to get moving. Dae-ho stayed right next to you, a gentle grip on your upper arm. The atmosphere entering back into the main room was dark, the obscene amount of death and bloodshed looming over everyoneâs head like a dark cloud. You sat next to Dae-ho, silent as a mouse. Everyone was silent. What could possibly be said after what you had all just witnessed? Your gaze bore into the ground in front of you, knees tucked into your chest with your arms wrapped around them. Dae-ho was lost in thought, his side pressed up against yours. The touch kept you somewhat grounded, though just barely.
Suddenly, the bright overhead lights flickered to life and the door opened. Everyone's attention turned towards the guards that stepped into the room. Upon seeing them, everybody scrambled back further, clearly terrified. You were no exception, pushing yourself backwards up the stairs behind you. Dae-ho did the same, a protective grip around your body.
âCongratulations for making it through the first game. Here are the results from the first game.â The board above them began to change, the number 456 changing to 365.
More chaos began to ensue. People begging for their lives, the promise of a fair voting process. The voting process was anything but smooth, tensions beginning to rise between the players. You chose X with no hesitation. While you needed the money, you had to be there for your sister. You couldnât help her, the only family she had left, if you were dead. Dae-ho had voted X as well, much to your relief. Unfortunately, your relief was short lived, as you lost the vote to leave by one. You were devastated, wanting nothing more than to curl up and cry. Showing weakness may not be the greatest idea, though. Not in a place like this.
Once it was meal time, you sat on the stairs with your tin of food in one hand and water bottle in the other. You had zero appetite. Dae-ho, who was sitting next to you, wasted no time in digging into his. You turned your head towards him and he paused.
âWhat?â He asked halfway through shoveling food into his mouth. You let out a humorless laugh, shaking your head. âYou need to eat something too, (Y/N). You canât let yourself go hungry, gotta retain your strength. Here,â He said, scooping some of his onto his spoon and putting it up to your mouth. Your lips tightened into a thin line, silently refusing. He frowned. âIâm serious-â
âWhat are you even doing here, Dae-ho?â You cut him off, turning towards him a little more. He swallowed, frown still on his face.
âI could ask you the same thing.â His tone was completely serious now, setting his tin down next to him. You set yours down as well, refusing to meet his eyes.
âIt doesnât matter. Weâre both in this mess, and now we both have to somehow make it out alive.â You hoped you didnât come off as hopeless as you felt. Dae-ho decided not to press any further. He nodded in agreement. There was nothing the two of you could do about it now.
âWeâre going to get out of here, you and I. Together. I swear to you,â He grabbed your hands in his, running his thumb across your knuckles. That was his typical positive attitude coming out. You sighed, finally meeting his eyes. âNow come on. I was serious before, you need to at least try to eat.â He said, his usual grin returning to his face. You couldnât help it, your lips twitched up into a smile. If it were possible, his smile got even wider, gently pinching your cheek with his fingers. âAha! Thereâs that smile that I know and love.â
You rolled your eyes, giving him a light shove. He laughed, and you gave in, picking up your tin. You ate in small bites, finally realizing how hungry you truly were. Dae-ho resumed eating, scarfing his down before you were even a third of the way done with yours. He patiently waited until you were finished with yours, taking your tin from you and setting it aside.
After meal time, you and Dae-ho had begun conversing with player 456 and player 399 who were nearby. As it turns out, player 399 whose name you found out to be Jung-bae, was a former marine just like Dae-ho. They saluted each other, their interactions causing you to giggle, letting some of the tension leave your body. Dae-hoâs eyes lit up at the sound, warmth spreading through his body. The rest of the night went as smoothly as it could save for the scuffle that occurred between players 230, 124, 333 and 001.
Then, it was time for lights out. Most players were fast asleep, but you laid in your bed, staring up at the glowing piggy bank. Alone with your thoughts, your mind was racing. There was no way you could sleep. Your head was pounding and you sighed as you turned onto your side. Lucky for you, Dae-hoâs bed was right next to yours. Realistically, he had claimed it as soon as he saw it was empty, assuming the person who was there previously was eliminated. From what you could tell, he was fast asleep. However you really needed some company and reassurance at the moment.
âDae,â You whispered. He didnât budge. Of course, you thought as you rolled your eyes. He would be a heavy sleeper. âDae-ho!â You whisper-shouted, hoping you didnât have to say it again. Thankfully, you saw him starting to stir. His eyes fluttered open, opening completely as he realized it was you who had awoken him. Quickly, he sat up.
âWhatâs wrong? Did something happen?â He whispered, concern gracing his features. You shook your head, starting to feel a little silly for waking him.
âNo, Iâm sorry. I shouldnât have woken you up. You can go back to sleep.â You whispered back, realizing he was probably exhausted.
He shook his head, getting up from his bed and coming over to yours. He knelt down next to you, tucking your hair behind your ear. You felt pitiful.
âWill you lay with me?â Your voice came out as barely a whisper, but he heard you loud and clear. His heart skipped a beat, a soft smile spreading across his face.
âOf course, love. Scoot over.â
You blushed at the nickname but immediately moved over to make room for him. Without hesitation, he hopped into your bed, laying on his side so that he was facing you. He cupped your face gently, running his thumb over your cheekbone. You didnât say anything, but he read you like a book. âWhatâs wrong?â
You could feel a lump forming at the back of your throat, and you stared into his eyes. Truth be told, you were so terrified. This was a fear you had never felt before in your life. If it wasnât for the man next to you, you wouldnât even be alive. How did you go from casually flirting with each other in the coffee shop, not a care in the world, to arriving at deathâs door together? Tears burned at the back of your eyes, threatening to come to the surface.
âIâm scared, Dae-ho. Iâm so scared,â Your voice cracked, tears spilling over your eyes slowly. Dae-ho was quick to wipe them away, his heart breaking. âI just wanted to save my sister. I thought that if I joined the games and won some money, I could take the stress off of both of us. I wouldnât have to worry about the medical bills, or the loan sharks, or anything. I would be able to work without having the weight of the world on my shoulders, and it would just be us in the cafe, and nothing else would matter. You and my sister were the only things keeping me going, and now you and I are both here and one or both of us could die.â You cried quietly as Dae-ho looked at you sadly. He pulled you into his chest, shushing you as you wept into his shirt. He let you cry it out, not saying anything as he rubbed your back. Eventually, when you became silent, he pulled back so he could look at your face. Your eyes were red, cheeks tear streaked.
â(Y/N), listen to me. As long as weâre in here together, I wonât let anything happen to you. Truly, youâre the light of my life and if something happened to you I donât think I could forgive myself. Youâre my anchor, especially in a place like this. I have something here to keep me going, you know?â He murmured. You sniffled and nodded, but he kept going. âThe moment I saw you in that cafe I knew I was in trouble. I thought you were the most perfect thing to grace this earth, and if I wasnât so stupid, I wouldâve asked you out a long time ago.â
Your eyes widened at that, looking at him as he smiled at you. âYou really mean that?â Your pulse quickened at the confession.
âEvery word,â He chuckled as he drew shapes into the fabric of your jacket. âThis is gonna be awkward for me if you donât feel the same.â At that, you gave him a light shove and he laughed.
âOf course I feel the same, you idiot. Why do you think you were getting so many free pastries?â You joked, then became serious. âSeriously though, Dae-ho. I couldnât imagine my life without you in it. I wish you wouldâve asked me out a long time ago, Iâve had a giant crush on you for a while now. I thought it was obvious.â
âIt was obvious,â you rolled your eyes at that. âI was just too scared to do something about it. I didnât wanna mess anything up between us. And now here we are, in the worst possible situation, and Iâm finally confessing this to you.â He smiled but it didnât reach his eyes as he thought about the circumstances. âHow about when we get out of here, I take you out on a date, yeah? Weâll go somewhere nice with my share of the money.â
âIt doesnât have to be fancy, Dae-ho. As long as Iâm with you it doesnât matter,â You said sincerely, a small smile gracing your lips. âBut I would love to.â
He grinned at that, his entire face lighting up. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You grabbed one of his hands and he gave it a gentle squeeze. To his surprise, you craned your neck up and placed your lips directly onto his. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you could feel him smile against your lips as he moved his free hand to the back of your neck, deepening the kiss. He pulled away after a few moments, before leaning back down and placing another quick peck to your lips.
âYou have no idea how long Iâve been waiting for that.â He teased, excitement present in his voice. You giggled, feeling over the moon with happiness even if it was just for a moment. Dae-ho shifted to lay flat on his back, pulling you with him. Your head rested on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. He had his arm around you and you threw your leg over the top of his, making yourself comfortable
âThank you for saving my life earlier.â You spoke quietly as you wrapped your arm around him, soothed by the rise and fall of his chest. He was quiet for a moment.
âI would do it all over again. Iâm not leaving your side so long as weâre still playing these games.â
Those were the only words you needed to hear, shutting your eyes as you finally drifted off into a peaceful slumber as you could feel him pull the blanket over the two of you. For the first time in a while, your body felt at ease. You felt safe, like there was nothing in the world that could harm you. Even if it was just for the night.
#squid game#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#kang dae ho#kang dae ho x reader#dae ho x reader#player 388#player 388 x reader
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~ Y/n is a "nerdy but hot" type of girl whos also rlly smart. The bad boy hyunjin has secret eyes for her. Shes always alone in class and doesnt talk to many ppl so basically shes mysterious ooo. One day hyunjin finally asks her to tutor him and she gets surprised knowing he knows she exists. Hyunjin has hooked up w many other girls but y/n is different as shes not despo like them and thats what attracts him to her. They both meet late night at a cafe and y/n is wearing a black tank top which has her neck and chest exposed and her lacy bra straps can be shown as well. She covered herself w a fuzzy jacket before entering the cafe but eventually took it off whilst tutoring hyunjin. Hyunjin feels lusty looking at y/n being so effortlessly hot and unknowing of it, he also gets turned on by the way she sucks her frappe straw etc. But he controls himself and after their study session ends hyunjin offers to drop her home on his bike and somehow enters her apartment as well where she lives alone and cozy with a good view of the city. They both have a deep convo before it turns into hot late night sleepy smut fr (also unexperienced y/n doing things with the guidance of hyunjin) tysmm
A Shakespeare's Sonnet - Hwang Hyunjin

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x fem!reader
Warnings: smut!!, fluff, minho's mean but he's just an overprotective little shit, minsung exes to lovers, slight angst, felix and jeongin being supportive besties
Summary: The one where Hyunjin needs tutoring literature sessions, you are a smart hot student and Minho almost faints.
Word count: 9,3k (i went too far i fear)
PS: This was sent in April, i apologize for being so late â ď¸. i've been working on a felix smau so forgive me đ
MASTERLIST // my Ko-Fi
Hyunjin walked the halls of uni, his lazy walk attracting countless girls who would squeal under their breaths as they watched him pass across them, hoping silently one of them could end up being another notch on his bedpost.Â
Hyunjin would be lying if he said he didnât notice. Or that he didnât love it. He was never one to take advantage of it, but having that feeling around him, of being wanted, was awesome.Â
His friends also loved the attention people always had projected on him. It meant being invited to frat parties every single weekend, the coach calling them to the football team, and obviously, having girls flutter around them 24/7.Â
What wasnât something that was guaranteed by Hyunjinâs popularity, was having good grades.Â
Hyunjin didnât really study much, but he considered himself a smart person, so overall, he was a pretty good student.Â
Until literature happened.Â
He was so sure he was going to ace it, until a new professor, Mr. Jackson, came to uni and started giving out homework and assignments that were hard as fuck.Â
The boy couldnât believe his bad luck, as every single assignment he handed in, returned with a very angry red mark in the shape of an F.Â
It was a Wednesday, when Hyunjin sat by the last seats of literature class, knowing how it was going to go down.Â
âDo you think you passed?â Changbin asked Chan.Â
Chan only snorted. âNo way, man. I actually read the book he gave us last time, like 3 times, and the fucker still gave me an Fâ he rolled his eyes.Â
Hyunjin sighed. âI think I failed as wellâ
âYeah, dude, youâve been failing all of yours. Whatâs up? You never go on a streakâ Jisung says next to him.
He shrugs. âI guess itâs this fucking dude that apparently has a thing against meâ
âNah, I donât think soâ Changbin said. âI mean, he has a thing against you, but I think itâs against all of usâ
âThank youâ Hyunjin said with sarcasm.
âYo, this friday weâre going to Seungminâs, okay? He already gave me a preview of the place and itâs going to be bigâ Jisung said excitedly.Â
âI donât think Iâm gonna goâ Hyunjin said.
His three friends went silent.
âExcuse me?â Changbin asked.Â
âYeah, Iâm failing literature way too hard and without a reason. And, I donât know about you, guys, but I really want to get my degree. And literature wonât stop me from getting thatâ He told his friends.Â
âBut mate, itâs literally one partyâ Changbin said.
âNo, itâs one party every weekâ he told him. âMaybe thatâs why Iâm failing. Because Iâm not trying hard enoughâ
âWell, it won't be the same without you there, mate, but itâs your callâ Chan smiled slightly.
âThank you!â Hyunjin said with a high pitched voice.Â
Mr. Jacksonâs unwanted presence walked into the room and Hyunjin sighed in disdain. He wanted earth to swallow him up already.Â
âOkay, class, Iâm handing you today your assignments from last class. I am⌠disappointed to say the leastâ the professor said and Hyunjin inwardly rolled his eyes. âOnly two people passed, and thatâs Mr. Lee, and Miss Y/L/N. Congratulationsâ the man smiled at two students who were in front of him.Â
Hyunjin frowned. He had to get the number of either of those people to help him pass this fucking subject.Â
âOh, of course Minho passed. Ughâ Jisung faked a gag.
Hyunjin smiled. âWhatâs the matter?â
âSee that guy over there?â he pointed at a guy with slight orange hair going on black, talking to a girl. âThatâs my exâ
âOh God, thatâs your ex! Minho goes here? Since when? How did I not notice?â
âYeahâ
âFuckâŚâ
Jisung frowned. âWhy do you say that?â
âI was going to ask him to tutor me, since I suckâÂ
âNo! No, no, no. You wonât ask Minho to help you. No way. Ask Y/N, his friendâ Jisung shook his head.Â
Hyunjin frowned. âOâŚkayâ he said slowly. âI will. Y/N⌠I think I know her. Her hair⌠sounds familiarâ
âYeah, we went to high school togetherâ Jisung replied.
Hyunjinâs eyes widened. âThatâs Y/N?â he asked.Â
âYeahâ He nodded.Â
âI didnât⌠I didnât even know she went hereâ he said with a confused tone.
âWhy do you sound disappointed?â
âI⌠okay, I used to have a crush on her when we were in like⌠third year? And, well, apparently she didnât like meâ Hyunjin shook his head.
âYouâre lucky I liked you in secondary. You were an assâÂ
âYeahâŚâ
Hyunjin straightened up his position when Mr. Jackson walked towards him and put the paper on his desk.Â
âDisappointed in you, Mr. Hwangâ Mr. Jackson told him.
When he walked away, Hyunjin turned around. âHe always says thatâ Hyunjin spat.Â
Jisung smiled. âI actually got a D this timeâ
âYeah, I got an F like alwaysâ
Jisung pressed his lips together. âI really think you should consider talking to Y/N to help youâ he told him. âSheâs a good girl. And sheâs super smartâ
Hyunjin chewed on his lip. âOkayâŚâ
. Ýâ âš . ÝË . Ýŕźâ§âË.
You put your paper away inside your bag and smiled at your friends.Â
âOkay, I am, like, so jealous you guys passedâ Jeongin sighed. âIâve only passed two of his assignments. And this is like the eighth!â
You smiled with a giggle. âItâs only reading and rereading the texts. This one was really tough. Iâm lucky I got a Câ you said.Â
âYeah, I got a C-â Minho said.Â
âYeah, sorry, why was Jisung staring at us?â Felix asked, nudging his forehead towards him.Â
You all turned around and saw Jisung talking to his friend.Â
Minho sighed. âI donât even wanna know, honestlyâ he shook his head. âI canât believe heâs still friends with that asshole, my Godâ
âWho? Hyunjin?â Felix asked.
âYeahâ
âHeâs⌠not that badâ Felix scratched the back of his head sheepishly.Â
âYeah, no. Heâs horribleâ you sighed. âHe was always staring at me with a scowl on his face and being witness of his bully friends back in high schoolâ
âThank God those fuckers didnât apply to this oneâ Jeongin sighed.Â
âYeah. Unfortunately we got the worst. The witnessesâ Minho said. âAnd of course, because the universe couldnât have conspired enough against me, my exâ
âI still donât know why you guys broke upâ Felix said.
âYeah, me neitherâ Jeongin shook his head.Â
âI just got tired of the people surrounding him. And the way they influenced him. He was one thing with me and a totally different one when he was with his friends. It was like he was embarrassed of me or something. Like they didnât know he was gayâ Minho explained.
âBut they knewâ You deadpanned.
âYeahâ Minho nodded. âAnd cherry on top, he cheated on meâ
âHe did?â Felix asked.
âYeahâÂ
âThatâs horrible⌠well, good riddance, right?â You smiled at him.
Minho forced a smile, âYeah⌠good riddanceâ he chuckled, unsure.Â
. Ýâ âš . ÝË . Ýŕźâ§âË.
You grabbed your stuff and quickly pushed it inside your bag as soon as the bell rang.Â
âSee you next week, class. Donât forget to bring your assignmentsâ Mr. Jackson said and left.Â
âHey, do you want to go to the coffee shop next to our dorms?â Jeongin asked next to you.
âY-â
âHey, Y/Nâ a masculine voice said behind you.Â
You frowned as you turned around, only to find none other than Hwang Hyunjin in front of you.
You arched your eyebrows. âUh, hello?â you said unsure.Â
âCan I- Can I talk to you for a sec?â he asked, fidgeting with his hands.
The man was nervous.Â
Strange.Â
You turned around and looked at your friends.Â
âCall us if you need us, Y/Nâ Felix politely smiled at Hyunjin and winked at you.
âYeah, you guys go. Iâll catch upâ you nodded.Â
âOkayâŚâ Minho said unsure, grabbing Jeonginâs arm and pulling him with the rest.Â
You turned around and looked at Hyunjin. ââŚWhatâs up?â you asked.
âI- I was just wondering⌠you know, since youâre basically rocking this subject and well- you and Minho are the only ones who passed the last assignment⌠I was- just⌠wondering if you could- I donât know, tutor me or- or something?â he asked.Â
You snorted, unable to help yourself. âI didnât know you knew my nameâ
âYeah, I do. We- we went to high school togetherâ he frowned. âWhy?â
âWell, you basically ignored me in high schoolâ you shrugged. âFigured we arenât as cool as your wolf pack over thereâ you nudged your head towards his friends.Â
Jisung smiled and waved, while Chan and Changbin made a peace sign with a nervous smile.Â
Hyunjin sighed. âYeah- well, I was an asshole in high schoolâ
âI knowâ
Hyunjin inwardly winced. âSo⌠about tutoringâŚâ
You snorted and grabbed your stuff. âGoodbye, Hyunjinâ you said and left the classroom.
Hyunjin stood there, watching you walk away while his friends snorted and laughed.Â
âI think this is the first time Iâve seen a girl reject youâ Chan laughed while Changbin cackled with his infamous laugh.Â
âHa-haâ Hyunjin said humourlessly. âThat wasnât funnyâ
âOh, it wasâ Jisung laughed. âShe literally laughed in your faceâ
âIâm gonna fail literature and never get my degree. I wanna dieâ he whined dramatically as he plopped down on the chair.Â
Changbin rolled his eyes. âBe persistent mate. Come on. You have that charm and effect on people. Use itâ
Hyunjin opened his eyes and looked at Changbin. âYou say I should- like- follow her around and-â
âYeahâ Changbin nodded.Â
âI never begâ Hyunjin shook his head.Â
âWell, mate, you gotta push your ego aside if you wanna pass literatureâ Chan shrugged.Â
Hyunjin nodded. âYeah, I know. The girl hates me thoughâ
âI wouldnât blame herâ Jisung shook his head.Â
âWhyâs that?â Changbin said.Â
âWell, me and Hyunjin were with the popular group. Who were straight up bulliesâ Jisung explained.Â
âYou guys bullied Y/N?â Chan asked, his eyes widened.Â
âNo!â Hyunjin said loudly. âNo, we didnât. I donât want to talk about high school. Itâs been ages. Letâs just⌠move onâ
âOkayâŚâ Chan said unsure.Â
âWell, what are you gonna do, Hyunjin?â Changbin asked.Â
Hyunjin sighed and looked at the ceiling. âI think Iâm gonna continue asking herâ
âYeah, figuredâ Jisung nodded.
Hyunjin looked at him with a frown. âWhyâs that?â
âWell, you couldnât stop staring at her ass, for all that mattersâ
âHey! Iâm not attracted to her, and Iâm definitely not sleeping with herâ Hyunjin whined.Â
âSureâ Jisung nodded with a smirk. âSo, about SeungminâsâŚâ
. Ýâ âš . ÝË . Ýŕźâ§âË.
You opened the door of the cafĂŠ and walked inside with a scowl.Â
Minho looked up from their usual table and his eyes softened. âWhatâs up, Y/N?â he asked you.Â
You sat down with a huff and left your bag hanging on the back of the chair. âNothing. This fucker just asked me to tutor himâ
âThe audacityâ Minho rolled his eyes.Â
âWhyâs that bad?â Felix asked, sipping on his iced tea.Â
âBecause heâs literally the guy who made my high school life miserable!â you whined. âMy life and Minhoâs lifeâ
âOh, well, maybe heâs- you know- changedâ Felix tried.Â
âCould be. The guy was staring at you like he was terrifiedâ Jeongin said. âIt was laughableâ
âMaybe because he knows what he didâ Minho added. âTypical bully attitude to get what he wantsâ
âI donât know. He looked weird, thoughâ You confessed. âLike he was nervous. He was all fidgety and awkward about itâ
Felix hummed and looked down at his beverage. âDonât worry about it, okay? It will be fineâ
âYeah, thank you, guysâ You smiled at your friends.
âDonât worry, Y/N. You got usâ Jeonging winked, poking your cheek with his finger, making you laugh.Â
âI know. Thatâs why I love you guysâ you smiled.Â
An hour passed and you and your friends were having fun, as Jeongin was telling you about his date last night.Â
âAnd then she laughs in my face, like- fully in front of me and I feel the stink in her breath. She had ordered ravioli with a cream cheese sauce that was showered with garlicâ Jeongin said while you all cackled.Â
âOh my God, and what did you do?â You asked.Â
âNothing, I just contained my breath in and nodded at everything she saidâ Jeongin said. âNear death experienceâ
âAnd do you plan on texting her or something?â Minho asked.
âNo, I mean, she was really cute but other than her attempted murder, we did not connect in the talking at allâ Jeongin shook his head with a frown. âNo wayâÂ
âOkay, letâs all look down or look like weâre in a deep conversationâ Minho said, suddenly.
âWhat?â Felix asked, confused.
âHyunjin just walked inâ Minho replied.Â
Your eyes widened and Minho grabbed your arm when you were about to turn your head. âNo, no, donât turn aroundâ he said, in front of you. âOkay, so my mother just died and weâre like- mourning or somethingâ
âGood griefâ Felix shook his head, biting on a muffin.Â
Hyunjin, as soon as he stepped in, started whipping his head around, trying to look for you. He saw the back of your head while you were engrossed in a conversation with your friends. He took a deep breath in and tried to collect all the courage he could muster and walked towards you.
âOh, no, heâs comingâ Felix whispered.
âAct normalâ Jeongin said.
âHey, Y/Nâ Hyunjin said standing in front of you.
You looked up and blinked. âHyunjin, what are you doing here?âÂ
âMan, my mother just died. Could you have some-â
âMinho!â Felix said, slapping his arm.Â
Hyunjin looked at them curiously and you huffed. âDonât mind them. Whatâs up?â
âI know you said no already, and you probably donât like me at all but I seriously need your helpâ Hyunjin pleaded. âYou see, I need to pass literature to get my degree. Please, Iâll literally pay you, whatever you wantâ
You chuckled and you moved your head to the side. âHyunjin, are you serious right now? Youâve ignored my existence since weâve met and now, when you need something, you acknowledge me?â you snort at the end. âSorry, not happeningâ
Hyunjin let out a whine and out of literally nowhere, the man dropped to his knees.
âOh my Godâ Felix mumbled and looked away.
âY/N⌠Iâm begging you. Please, please, please. Iâll literally clean your dorm, pay for your food, Iâll buy you whatever you want, just please, please tutor meâ he asked, giving you puppy eyes.
You looked into his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.
âOkayâŚâ
âWhat?â Minho asked, in a high-pitched voice.
âYeah, what?â Hyunjin asked, surprised as well.
âIâll tutor you, just please get up. Youâre embarrassing me in front of everyoneâ You said with a grimace.
Hyunjin quickly scrambled to his feet and nodded. âOkay, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hereâs my numberâ he said, grabbing a pen and scribbling the number into a piece of paper and handing it to you. âText me. We can meet tomorrowâ
âYeah, okayâ you nodded slowly.Â
âThank you, again, Y/N. I really appreciate it a lot. Sorry for botheringâ Hyunjin said and quickly walked away.
You looked at him with a frown as he walked out of the cafĂŠ and then turned to look at Minho who was glaring at you.Â
âWhat?â you asked him.
âIâm just gonna ask one simple question. Are you playing stupid? Or were you just born with it?âÂ
âOh my God-â
âYou just accepted tutoring the devil incarnate, Y/N!â Minho said dramatically.
âDid you see how he was begging on his knees? I donât want to be as cruel as he wasâ you argued.
âThe guy is the worst, Y/N. Come onâ Minho insisted.
âI donât know, Min. He really needed helpâ Felix tried. âI think it was sweet of you to give inâÂ
âThank you, Lixâ you said sincerely.Â
âWhat if he just wants to sleep with you?â Minho asked.
âGod, Minho! Hyunjin does not want to sleep with meâ you laughed.Â
âYo, why not?â Jeongin asked. âYou would make a hot coupleâ
Minho faked a gag. âPlease noâ
âYouâre into guys, wouldnât you say heâs hot?â Jeongin asked.
âYeah, he sure is. But heâs a horrible person so no. I donât like himâ Minho spat, shaking his head in disapproval.
âOkay. Why donât we all calm down, hm?â Felix asked. âY/Nâs gonna be tutoring Hyunjin and weâre all going to be supportive friends and be there for her if she needs anythingâ
âThank youâ you mouthed and he winked.Â
Minho sighed and looked away.Â
âJust trust me. You know I wouldnât do anythingâ you told him.
âY/N, itâs not you Iâm worried about. I know youâre not going to do anything. But him? Yeah, I donât trust himâ he said. Felix gave him a look and he let out a breath. âBut⌠Iâll give it the benefit of a doubtâ
âGreatâ Felix clapped. âEverythingâs solved. Can we please go back to talking about Jeonginâs horrible date with the garlic breath girl and all?â
âYeahâ you nodded.Â
. Ýâ âš . ÝË . Ýŕźâ§âË.
You dropped your bag on the chair next to the door of your room and sighed.Â
âWanna order take out?â Minho asked from the kitchen.Â
âYeah, chinese, pleaseâ you called out.
âOn it!â
You dropped your body on the bed and felt the purring of one of Minhoâs cats next to your head.Â
âHey, Doriâ you cooed, brushing your fingers across the catâs soft fur. âYou missed me?â you asked and the kitty purred. âYeah, you didâÂ
You grabbed your phone from your jean back pocket and the piece of paper with Hyunjinâs number fell out.Â
Sighing, you picked it up and after a while of thinking, you added him into your contacts.Â
Y/N: hey, itâs y/n
You texted him and left the phone on the bed, to stare at Dori.
The phone vibrated and you grabbed it.
Hyunjin: oh hiii
You frowned. âA hi with three âIâs?â you asked yourself in a whisper.Â
Hyunjin: whatâs up?
âWhatâs up? God, weâre just gonna be having tutoring sessions. You donât wanna know how Iâve beenâ you harshly whispered to yourself.
You: fine. Do you wanna meet tomorrow at the cafĂŠ me and my friends were having a hangout until you interrupted-
You sighed and pressed the delete button.Â
You couldnât send him that.
You: iâm ok. you wanna meet at the same coffee shop tomorrow after english?
Hyunjin: yeah, iâm okay with it.
You: great.Â
You left the phone on the bed and went to help Minho while he put on the plates and silverware on the table.
âEverything okay?â Minho asked.
âYeah, yeah. I was just texting Hyunjinâ you told him. âI told him he could meet at the coffee shop from todayâ
âThe one where he rudely interrupted us?â
âYeah, the same oneâ you laughed.
He smiled and then looked down. âIâm sorry if I was harsh with you todayâ he said quietly.
âOh, donât worry, Min. I know youâre just looking out for meâÂ
âI know. I just⌠we suffered a lot in high school and- well, I donât wanna go through that again. Neither of usâ he shook his head.
âAww, are you sweet talking to me?â you cooed.
Minho dropped his soft expression and rolled his eyes. âMan, you ruined the moment. I hate youâ
âNo, you love meâ you said and wrapped your arms around him.
âGet offâ Minho said.
âYou love meâ you said louder.
âYeah, yeah, whateverâ he said.Â
The bell rang and he looked at the door. âThatâs the take out. Be right backâÂ
âGo ahead. I love you tooâ
âShut upâ
You giggled as you made your way back to your room and grabbed your phone. Your heartbeat started beating faster when you saw the notification from Hyunjin.
Hyunjin: see you tomorrow, y/n :)
âFuck, you stupid heart. Stop doing that!âÂ
. Ýâ âš . ÝË . Ýŕźâ§âË.
You sighed as you tapped your nails on the wooden table from the cafĂŠ as you waited for Hyunjin.Â
He was 10 minutes late and you were so close to grabbing your stuff and fleeting out of there.Â
Suddenly, your eyes caught his figure being followed by a girl who was looking at him with a smile while he had a frown on his face. He said something, making the girlâs smile drop and walk away embarrassed.Â
You looked down and felt a weird feeling in your stomach.
Hyunjin, with a sigh, sat down on the booth bench. âHey, Iâm so, so sorry Y/Nâ he said, sounding tired.
You didnât even have the heart to say something rude to him because he was late. âNo worriesâ you breathed out. âDid something happen?â
âOh, uh⌠no, itâs just this-â
âGirl?â
Hyunijn looked at you, wide-eyed and then let out a laugh. âYeah, kind ofâ
âYou slept with her and she wants more but you donât want more?â you asked, feeling that curious, annoying thing on your stomach.
Hyunjin shook his head. âNo, sheâs uh⌠my ex-girlfriendâ he said.
âOhâŚâ
âYeahâ he nodded. âWe broke up a long while ago but- well, I broke up with her but she didnât take it wellâ
âHow long ago was that?â
âFour months agoâ
âFour?â you asked and he nodded. âFuck, thatâs a long timeâ
âI knowâ he sighed.Â
You chewed on your lip. âOkay, we can start now. Iâm sorry I asked, I just- well, you looked kind of botheredâ you said.
âNo, itâs okay. Y/N, thank youâ he said with a little smile.
Those damn butterflies kicked inside your stomach and you inwardly rolled your eyes. You hummed and looked down at your computer.Â
âRight! So, the next assignment is to choose a sonnet from Shakespeare and analyze it. That means weâll have to search, read some and well, choose the one we like the bestâ you told him.
âOh God, I hate this alreadyâ he said, pressing his forehead against the table.
You giggled. âItâs not that bad. I collected a bunch for you to pickâÂ
He pulled his head up quickly and smiled. âReally?âÂ
âYeahâ you nodded.
âYouâre the bestâ he smiled wider.Â
Fuck, thatâs a pretty smile- FOCUS. âItâs nothingâ you scoffed with a little smile too.
âNo, really. Itâs a lot. Let me seeâ he said and you pushed your computer towards him.
As he started scrolling through the different sonnets, his eyes couldnât help but wander towards your face. You were looking out the window while sipping your pink drink with a sense of tranquility, something that was definitely lacking in his life. Hyunjin couldnât help but feel his heart hammering in his chest as he admired your pretty face. He paid attention to the way you sucked on the straw of your drink and he bit his lip.Â
You were so attractive to him and you had no idea.Â
How didnât you see it? How didnât you notice him staring at you in high-
âYou picked one yet?â you asked him, turning your head to face him.
He blinked a couple of times and nodded. âY-yeahâ he lied. âI picked oneâÂ
âLet me seeâ you said, grabbing the computer. Your eyes lit up and smiled at him, making him feel a flutter in his chest, something he hadnât felt till now. âWow, Sonnet 116. Good choice. You are one romantic guy, never thought of thatâÂ
His eyes narrowed, confusedly and then nodded. âYeah⌠I guess you didnât know that about me, huh?â he joked.
Hyunjin was in fact a very romantic guy himself, he loved clichĂŠ stuff and, whenever he painted, he tried to symbolize love as much as he could. He would paint red roses very often, thinking they symbolize an act of love, sensualism and mysticism. Hyunjin loved romantic comedies and he always cried with them.
But that was a secret he kept well hidden.
âWell, this one you picked is very beautifulâ you said with a smile and he couldnât help but reciprocate it. âLet Me Not to The Marriage of True Minds is one of his most famous worksâÂ
Hyunjin immediately took out his computer and started typing whatever you said.Â
âWe can read it togetherâ you said, pushing the computer so he could see it. Â
He nodded and you started reading some lines and explaining them to him.
Hyunjin stared at you attentively and tried to focus, he really did. But his stupid brain and heart had teamed up to sabotage this study session, because they were focused on you. You, you, you. Then, his eyes couldnât help but go down as he took in what you were wearing.Â
Fuck, how did he not notice? You were wearing a black top that had a low cut and it gave a good view of your breasts, as your arms pushed them together due to your inclined position on the table. His mind started racing with different dirty thoughts of what heâd do to you if they werenât in a crowded cafĂŠ. Hyunjin noticed you were wearing a lace black bra and it made him wanna grab-
âHeâs basically saying that true love is not changeable, no matter the length of timeâ you explained, bringing him back to earth.
Hyunjin quickly typed, trying to convince you he was paying attention.Â
âHe is so certain about his definition of love that, if proven wrong, then he was sure he had never loved anyoneâ you finished.
âWowâŚâ Hyunjin said. âThatâs⌠beautifulâ
âI knowâ you giggled. âWell, we have to, basically, do an analysis of itâ
âOkay, how do we start?â
. Ýâ âš . ÝË . Ýŕźâ§âË.
Hyunjin pressed the point button on his laptop and sighed. âFucking finallyâ he said.
âIt wasnât that bad, you gotta admit thatâ you smiled.
He had to admit, he did enjoy literature after all. âYeah, it was actually interesting. Maybe I shouldâve asked you for help a long time agoâ he confessed.
âWell, that means you wouldâve acknowledged my existence, which you didnât until⌠yesterdayâ you said with a shrug.
Thatâs a lie, Hyunjin thought. âI⌠Iâm sorryâ he said and he mentally slapped himself.
âItâs okay. Iâm used to it. Reallyâ you said.
He frowned. He didnât like the sound of that. He was about to open his mouth when you cursed.
âFuck! Look at the hour, itâs almost eightâ you cursed.
Hyunjin looked out the window and noticed how dark it had gotten. âRight, wow. I didnât even noticeâ he mumbled as he looked at his phone.Â
âYeah, me neitherâ you chuckled, putting all your stuff away.
Hyunjin frowned as he didnât like the fact that this session was over and youâd probably go back to ignoring each other like you did.Â
âHey, uh⌠do you wanna go back to my place? Like⌠to hang outâ he said.
You arched your eyebrows. âWhy?â
âWell, to be honest, I could pay you back with some take out. Whatever you want. My roommate, Chan, is out for the day with his girlfriend so I'm gonna be home aloneâ Hyunjin explained.Â
You leaned your head to the side. âAre you inviting me because you feel bad for me or because you donât wanna be alone?âÂ
None, I just wanna be with you. âBoth, I guess?â
You chuckled and looked away. âHyunjin-â
âPlease?â he asked.
You looked at him again and then sighed. âFine. But weâre ordering chineseâ
âDealâ he smiled, satisfied.
. Ýâ âš . ÝË . Ýŕźâ§âË.
âShe did that?â You asked him as soon as you and him walked inside his dorm.
âYep. And then she basically threatened Lily, my friendâs girlfriend, to stay away from me because she was jealousâ Hyunijn explained.
âOh my Godâ you mumbled. âThatâs borderline obsessiveâ
âYeah, I knowâ he said, dropping his stuff on the couch, âYou can drop your stuff and sit here, Iâll order take outâ Hyunjin whipped his phone out and started clicking on the delivery app.
You did the same and noticed there were a few notifications from your group chat with your friends.
<Besties!!>
Min đ: hey, you alive bestie?Â
Min đ: did you kill hyunjin? Iâd be delighted if your answer was yes. Iâd even help you bury the body
Innie đ: min shut up
Min đ: what?
Lixieâď¸: i think youâre overreacting a little
Min đ: i think iâm not
You chuckled and quickly typed your answer back.
You: Iâm okay, you guys. calm down!!Â
You: iâm at his place.
Innie đ: excuse me?
Lixieâď¸: say what?
Min đ: oh my god, I think iâm gonna faint
You: shut up. he invited me and ordered chinese as my payment, i happily accepted bc u know iâd never decline chinese đ
You sighed. You knew Minho would never approve of this, heâd scold the hell out of you.Â
Lixieâď¸: okay, take care y/n.Â
Innie đ: pls text us if anything happens!
Min đ: yeah that
You: i will, thx! love u guys
âOkay, itâs on its way. Want a drink or something?â Hyunjin brought you back to reality and you quickly turned off your phone.
âOh, uh⌠what do you have?â you asked him.
âI have wine⌠coke, waterâ
âI could have some wineâ you smiled.
âGreatâ he said and took it out from the cupboards.Â
You walked towards the kitchen and sat down on the stools, feeling your hands get sweaty from the nervousness you felt.Â
âSo⌠did your friends roast me via text?â Hyunjin asked. You pulled your face back and he chuckled. âI know you were texting them. You looked really stressed out explaining this situation to themâ
You sighed and looked away. âYeah, uh⌠I think itâs not news that they donât like youâ you chuckled humourlessly.
He nodded. âI donât think you do eitherâ he said. He hoped that was untrue.
âWell. I had my reasonsâ you said.
Hyunjin frowned. âHad?â
âYeah, well, I think you werenât just as bad as I thoughtâ you confessed.
âWhyâs that?â
âWell, you did ignore me in high schoolâ you told him. âAnd you were friends with the people that made my life a living hell, while you stood there, watchingâ
He was about to say something but the bell rang. âThat must be the delivery guy. Be right backâ
He walked away from the kitchen and you put your head in your hands. What were you doing?
Hyunjin came back really fast and he placed the food on the plates, wordlessly, while you just stared.
Great, you ruined the whole mood.Â
You started eating and the silence was so loud, you wanted to fleet out the door.Â
âI didnât ignore youâ Hyunjin suddenly spoke.Â
You looked up and gave him a confused look. âWhat?â
âI didnât ignore you. In high school, I meanâ he repeated himself. âI was just hanging out with the wrong crowd, and I admit that. I just wanted you to know that I did know you who you were. I didnât know you attended this uni, thoughâÂ
You analyzed his words and expressions. He sounded sincere.
âI⌠itâs funny, actually. I had a huge crush on youâ he said in a small voice.
Now, hold up.
âWhat?â you asked him with a frown.
âYeahâ he laughed. âYou were really cute and just my type. But as I said, I hung out with the wrong crowd and it repelled people like you, fairly. And I wanted to be popular, because it was like a dream and it felt like being powerful but then I understood that it was stupid and thereâs literally not a day in which I donât regret hanging out with those peopleâÂ
You blinked a couple of times, trying to figure out if this was a figment of your imagination.
âSo, I deeply apologizeâ Hyunjin said in a small voice.Â
You nodded. âOkay⌠I uh⌠I did not know thatâ you chuckled nervously.
âNo, you didnât have to,â he said. âReally, Iâm sorry, Y/N. If it⌠helps or whatever, I did want to defend you when they said those things to you and your friends. I was just too afraid to say anything, honestlyâ
âAfraid theyâd do it to youâ you said.
âYeah, basicallyâ
You hummed and licked your lips, deep in thought. âI had a crush on you too back in high schoolâ you suddenly said.
His eyes widened. âReally?â
âYeahâ you chuckled. âEven if I hated you, I couldnât⌠help itâÂ
âWowâŚâ
âI never told anyone about thisâ you chuckled. âNot even Minhoâ
âOh God, he hates me so muchâ he said, making you laugh.
âYeah, well, youâre friends with Jisung, soâŚâ you said.
He frowned. âWhatâs up with him anyways?âÂ
You looked up in surprise. âJisung cheated on Minhoâ
He looked really surprised to hear that. âWhat?â Hyunjin asked in a high pitched voice. âNo, thatâs not it. I mean, yeah, he accused him of cheating but Jisung didnât do thatâ
âYeah, well, thatâs what Minho told me. Back at promâ you told him.
âOkay, thatâs weird because Jisung did not attend promâ he said.
Your eyes widened. âWhat do you mean he didnât go to prom? He said he found Jisung kissing other guyâ you frowned.
âYeah, no. Jisungâs grandfather had passed away the day before so he had to travel overnight to his hometownâ Hyunjin said.
âOh wowâ you mumbled. âWell, then weâll have to tell them and maybeâŚâ
âGet them together again?â Hyunjin asked, with a little shrug.
âYeahâ you giggled. âYou know, as much as Minho talks about hating him and all⌠I think heâs never really gotten over Jisung. He still keeps the necklace he gifted him and the collar he made for SoonieâÂ
âJisungâs never gotten over him either. He likes to gag at the mention of him but he still has that shirt, you know, the one they shared of-â
âOh my God, from that Cat CafĂŠ? The one that says-â
âCat CafĂŠ Lovers? Yeah, that oneâ Hyunjin laughed.
You chuckled and looked away. âGosh, that was peak cringe from themâ
âYeahâ
The chatter continued. You talked about everything and anything. It was like you both needed this talk from a long time ago, and you didnât know it.Â
After eating everything and helping him with the dishes, you looked at the clock and gasped.
âOh shit, itâs eleven. Fuckâ you whispered. âI gotta go, Iâm sorryâ
âOhâŚâ Hyunjin said, sounding disappointed. âItâs okay, donât worryâ
He walked you to the door and opened it. He leant against the frame and watched you put your bag on your shoulder and look up at him.
âThank you for the food⌠and the talkâ you smiled.
âNo, thank you. Iâll probably get an A from what we didâ he chuckled. âYouâre very smart and very kind to help me⌠even after everything I didâ
âItâs alrightâ you nodded. âAnd you apologized, so, weâre goodâ
âYeahâŚâ he said. âI actually liedâ he suddenly blurted.
You frowned. âWhat⌠did you lie about?âÂ
He swallowed nervously and looked down at his feet. âI did like you in high school but⌠I didnât stopâÂ
You pulled your face back in utter shock.
Say what?
âI⌠seeing you the other day. It made me realize I didnât stop liking you after allâ he chuckled nervously. âYeah, I thought you were really cute back then but, seeing you now, I see you got even more beautiful and it kills me that I did what I did. And Iâm sorry if Iâm making you uncomfortable by saying this but- well, I just thought I could tell you because-â he started rambling and you felt a rush of confidence to shut him up.
Shut him up by kissing him. Hard.
Your kiss shocked him but he was quick to grab your waist and pull you against his chest.Â
You pulled away and smiled at him. âI like you too, Hyunjin. Even if you suck at literature and stare at my tits the whole time Iâm explaining a Shakespeare sonnet to youâ you told him against his lips and he blushed.Â
âOkay, thatâs-â
You giggled and pressed your lips against his once again, making him groan. He pushed you inside his dorm again, closing the door with his foot. Your bag dropped to the floor and he put his hands under your legs, hoisting you up in the air, making you wrap your legs around his waist.Â
Hyunjin led you to his room and then laid you down on his bed, all while literally devouring your mouth with his tongue deep, stroking yours.Â
He pulled away to kiss your neck and you arched your back, mewling and clawing at his clothed back.Â
âHyunjinnieâŚâ you sighed, combing your fingers through his hair.
âFuck, Y/Nâ he whispered, biting on your skin. He pulled away and stared at you. âYou are so beautifulâ
You smiled shyly at him and when he went to kiss your neck again, you stopped him by pulling his hair.Â
âWhat?â he asked, caressing your waist.
âI just uhâŚâ
âYou a virgin?â he asked.
âNo! No, no. I uh had my fair share of hook ups⌠but I am not like the most experienced so please-â he silenced you with a kiss, moving his hands under your shirt.
âYou-â kiss. â-are perfect-â kiss. âDonât worry, babyâ he whispered and went to kiss you again.Â
Hyunjin pressed kisses on your neck down to your stomach, over your shirt until he reached the belt of your jeans. He made quick work of taking off your shoes and your belt.Â
You helped him kick your jeans off and he stared at your panties.Â
His eyebrow arched, as he looked at your laced black panties. âI wanted to feel sexyâ you shrugged innocently.Â
He tugged on your legs, making you yelp. âCome hereâ he growled, kissing your lips as his hands groped your breasts through your shirt. âIâm gonna eat you out until youâre shaking, is that okay?â
You shivered at his tone and his honesty. âIâŚâ
âHas anyone ever done that before?â he asked. You shook your head ânoâ, giving him doe eyes. âWhat kind of dumb men did you date? Who wouldnât want to do that?âÂ
He didnât even give you time to answer, because he took off your panties quickly and shoved your legs open.Â
âFuck, look at that. Youâre so wet, babyâ he whispered, smirking at you.
âGod, do something, Hyuneâ you moaned, arching your back.
He chuckled at your desperation and swiped his fingers over your drenched entrance, making you whimper. He dragged those soaked fingers over his tongue and sucked them clean. As soon as he finished, Hyunjin crawled over you and kissed you, inserting his tongue inside your mouth, making your nails dig into his shoulders as you tasted yourself.Â
He pulled away and panted as he looked at you. âDo you feel how good you taste?â he asked and didnât even give you time to answer as he dropped a quick peck on your lips and went down to eat you out.Â
Hyunjinâs tongue dragged over your core over and over and all you could do was hold onto the sheets desperately. He inserted his fingers and scissored them as he licked over your sensitive clit in a circle motion.Â
Your hands went to his hair and started pulling, making him mewl against your cunt. You pushed his head against your cunt, making his nose press against your clit as his tongue licked over you.Â
He had you cum on your tongue two times and then, he pressed a kiss over your pubic bone when he was finished, definitely leaving your legs shaking in pleasure, just like he had promised. He wiped his face with his sleeve and then grabbed the back of his tee, pulling it over his head, letting you admire his toned body.
Your hands immediately brushed over his torso and his abs contracted, feeling the goosebumps run all over his body. He pressed his chest against yours and kissed you again, really soft and sweet.Â
âHow was that?â he whispered against your lips.
âFucking mindblowingâ you whispered, making him smirk.
âCan I take this off?â he asked, fidgeting with the end of your shirt.
You smirked. âI think you tortured yourself long enough at the cafĂŠ staring at me. Go aheadâ you giggle.
He giggled back and pecked your lips and then pressed a kiss to your cleavage. âI couldnât help itâ he murmured and then grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head. He stared at your black lacy bra, his hand going under you to grab at the clasp.
You didnât let him, arching your back at taking it off yourself, exposing your tits to him.Â
His hands immediately grabbed them and pushed his face towards them, enveloping one of your nipples inside his mouth and sucking. You arched your back and moaned, gripping his hair tightly with your fingers. He sucked one and then another, then, pushed them together and licked over them.
âFuck, Hyunjin, I need you to fuck meâ you whispered.
âOkay, okay, fuckâ he said, giving one of your tits one last suck and then leaned up on his knees, trying to take off his belt as fast as he could.Â
You helped him kick off his jeans and saw his erection straining against the fabric of his Calvin Kleinâs. It was big already and when he hooked a finger on the hem and pulled them down, your eyes widened.Â
His dick slapped against his stomach and his hand went down to stroke himself.Â
He knelt on the bed and pushed himself to brace himself over you while looking for a condom. Hyunjin took it out and put it on quickly, and then went back to brush the tip over your entrance, making your nails dig against his forearms.Â
One of his big hands gripped your thigh and the other one held his cock to push it inside you. Once he did, you arched your back and he let out a choked moan.Â
âFuck, youâre so fucking tight, Y/N. And so wet, shitâ he whispered against your neck and then he kissed the hot, sweaty skin.Â
âFuck, Hyuneâ you moaned.Â
âYeah, keep chanting my name like thatâ he whispered, moving his hips as he hit your cervix over and over.Â
You let out a little yelp every time he hit that sweet spot and one of his hands went to one of your breasts, brushing over your nipple and pinching it every now and then.
He licked over your ear and pulled on your earlobe. âDo you know how long Iâve waited for this?â he whispered. âSo fucking long, babyâÂ
You put your leg over his shoulder, making him go deeper and pulling a moan from both of you.
His fingers found your clit, and as he rubbed it in a circle motion, it made you get closer and closer towards your orgasm.
You bit at his neck and moaned. âI think Iâm gonna come, Hyuneâ
âYeah?â he groaned. âFucking come, thenâ
Your cunt gripped him tightly, making him groan and thrust even harder. You arched your back against Hyunjnâs chest and came around his length, feeling your vision go white and like you were about to pass out from the amount of pleasure the man on top of you was making you feel.
You barely noticed how he was losing control, as his thrust became sloppier. With a choked moan, he emptied himself inside the condom, his hands gripping the mattress tightly and then with a sigh, he collapsed on top of you, completely spent and satisfied.
Your arms wrapped around him tightly as he panted against your neck.Â
âThat was-â
âAmazing, fucking amazingâ he whispered against your neck.Â
You giggled and combed your fingers through his hair, caressing his scalp.Â
Hyunjin lifted his head and smiled at you. âYou are so prettyâ
âThank you. You are very pretty, tooâ you said shyly and he blushed. âYou blushing?â
He let his head drop against your chest and mumbled, âShut upâ
âYou definitely areâ you giggled.
âShut up!â
. Ýâ âš . ÝË . Ýŕźâ§âË.
After he let you use your shower (in which he may or may not have sneaked in and ate you out against the tiles), you changed into one of his shirts and wandered around his room. You saw the canvases that laid on the desk and smiled as you saw the amazing drawings and paintings he did.
âWow⌠you did this?â you asked him over your shoulder.
âYeahâ he said shyly, brushing the towel over his wet hair. âTheyâre not the greatest-â
âTheyâre not? I think theyâre museum-worthy, are you kidding?â you chuckled. âThe way you painted that rose, wowâÂ
He chuckled and walked over to you, wrapping his arms around you. âI feel so at peace with you, Y/Nâ he whispered against your neck.
You smiled and put your hands over his arms. âMe too, Hyunjinâ you whispered, kissing his skin. âMe tooâ
âYou have practice tomorrow at the studio right?â he asked.Â
âYeah, we have that super difficult R&B choreoâ you sighed.Â
âReally?â he asked.Â
âYeahâ
Hyunjin started thinking about a little something in silence and then spoke up. âDo you want me to change classes?âÂ
You frowned and looked up at him. âWhat do you mean?â
âSo that we can practice together. Maybe thatâs the reason I never saw you here. Because we never got to practice togetherâÂ
You let out a little laugh. âYouâre crazy, HyuneâÂ
âYeah, crazy about youâ he said and kissed your cheek with a loud kiss sound.Â
You giggled and shook your head. âOh, fine. Change classesâ
âYayâ he whispered. âWhat do you usually wear for practice?âÂ
âLeggingsâŚâ
âOh, itâs gonna be amazing, Iâm so sure of it. Iâm gonna have so much funâ he smirked.
âHyunjin!â
. Ýâ âš . ÝË . Ýŕźâ§âË.
You and Hyunjin woke up with a loud buzzing noise coming from the night stand.Â
Hyunjin from behind you groaned and pressed his face harder against your neck. âWhatâs that, babe?â
âItâs just my phone, hunâ you whispered as you grabbed it and looked at the ID of the call. âHello, Min?â
âWhere are you, bitch?â
âHuh?â you asked, surprised at his tone.
âYou donât come home, then you donât show up at history, and youâre not here at the cafeteriaâ Minho said.
Your eyes widened and you sat up, looking at the hour. 10:04.
âShit!â you yelled. âHyunjin, we overslept!â you yelled, grabbing at his arm and shaking him.
âHm?â he asked, confused.
âHyunjin, wake up! We need to get to my dorm to change and then go to the studio! Come on!â you yelled, jumping off the bed and searching for your clothes frantically. âWhere the hell did you throw my socks?âÂ
Hyunjin took his sweet time sitting up on the bed and stretching his muscles. He scratched his eyes and blinked a couple of times. His head turned to the clock on the nightstand and his eyes widened.Â
âHoly shit, itâs 10 AMâ he said, and jumped off the bed.
âThatâs what Iâve been trying to tell you!â you yelled back as you ran towards the bathroom to brush your teeth in your bra, jeans and only one sock on your feet.
Hyunjin quickly dressed while you brushed your teeth. He combed his hair with his hands quickly and saw you get out of the bathroom, looking around for your shirt.
âWhat are you searching for?â he asked you.
âMy shirt! I donât know where you threw it. And my socksâ you said, looking everywhere.
âHere, use one of mineâ Hyunjin tossed you a shirt. âYou look better in themâÂ
You grabbed it and looked at it. âThank youâ you said in a small, shy voice and quickly pulled it over your frame. âMy socksâÂ
âOh, hereâ he said. âI found themâ he smiled.
âThanksâ
Hyunjin grabbed his stuff and smiled at you again. âLetâs go?â
. Ýâ âš . ÝË . Ýŕźâ§âË.
You and Hyunjin ran through the hallways, panting.
âTo the right!â you yelled and quickly turned with Hyunjin following suit.Â
âThere you are!â Minho suddenly appeared in front of you just as you turned the corner, with Felix and Jeongin behind him.
âFUCK! Minho!â you yelled. âYou scared me!âÂ
He was staring at you and Hyunjin with a frown. âOkay⌠please tell me that you are wearing his shirt because he clumsily dropped wine on it and those marks on your neck are just mosquito bitesâ he said calmly.
Your eyes widened and quickly slapped your hand over your neck, as you looked at Hyunjin with a glare. He just shrugged.
âI think Iâm gonna faintâ Minho said, grabbing his heart, dramatically.
Felix rolled his eyes and sighed. âLetâs go, guys. We have practice in two minutesâ he said with a smile.
You followed them and Hyunjin did too. âIâm gonna ask my professor to⌠do what I told you, okay?â he asked, grabbing your shoulder.
âOkayâ you nodded.Â
Hyunjin pressed a kiss to your lips and walked away the other way. You stared at him and then your eyes darted to your friends who were wide-eyed staring at you.Â
âNo comments, okay?âÂ
âOh, no, you come here and tell everything!â Jeongin giggled excitedly.
. Ýâ âš . ÝË . Ýŕźâ§âË.
After practice, you sat with your friends at the cafĂŠ, telling them everything.
âIt was like I had been wrong about him my whole lifeâ you told them, after you finished.Â
âWow, Y/N, he sounds like he really likes youâ Felix smiled.
âHe doesâ you nodded. âHell, he liked me in high school? I did not expect to hear thatâÂ
âYeah, no one didâ Jeongin shook his head.
You looked at Minho and sighed. âCould you be supportive about this?â you pleaded your friend, pressing your hands together.
âWhat happened with the Iâm not gonna sleep with him, he doesnât wanna sleep with me thing? You bumped your head against a wall and forgot about it?â Minho asked.
âNo, we just had a really good conversation in which he apologized and well⌠I kissed himâ You confessed.Â
âHold up, you kissed him?â Felix asked.
âYep⌠oh! I have news about Jisungâ you gasped, looking at Minho.
He looked up and his eyes widened. âWhat? What do you know?â he asked.
You smirked. âIt was a misunderstanding, Minâ you told him.Â
He scoffed and rolled his eyes. âOf course heâd defend his friend. I mean, what can you expect from him?â he laughed, humourlessly.
âHe told me that he didnât even attend promâ you told him and Minho pulled his face back.
âWhat?â
âUh⌠a little context please?â Jeongin asked.
âSo, basically, Minho saw what he thought was Jisung at prom kissing some other dude. They fought, they broke up, the end. But Hyunjin told me that Jisung did not go to prom, his grandfather had died the night prior and he had to rush to his hometownâ you told him.
âWowâŚâ Felix said. âThatâs- Minho, what do you think?â
âI think I need to goâ he said and grabbed his stuff quickly. âUh, sorry. Thank you for telling me, Iâll be right backâÂ
You three watched as Minho left the cafeteria in a rush and then looked at each other.
âYou think theyâll get back together?â Jeongin asked.
âI think soâ you smiled. âThey arenât over each other. At allâÂ
Felix smiled. âI canât believe he has refused to date anyone this past year because he is still hung up on himâÂ
âYep. Their relationship was really intense and they loved each other very muchâ you smiled. âHell, he still keeps lots of things from him at the dorm. I just pretend I donât see them but theyâre thereâÂ
âLike what?â Jeongin asked.
âYou know that necklace Minho always wears?â you asked.
âYeah, the one with the cat- No!â Felix suddenly gasped.
âYeah, that one was a gift from Jisungâ you giggled. âAnd then the collar that Soonie has, is a gift from Jisung as wellâ
âOh my Godâ Jeongin said. âHe talks a lot about hating him and now I realize he does not hate him at allâ
âNoâ you chuckled.Â
âOkay, Iâm having a deja vuâ Felix sighed.
You frowned and turned around, finding Hyunjin running towards you. You couldnât help the smile that ran across your face. âHey!âÂ
âHi, good news!â he smiled and sat down on the empty seat where Minho was. âWhereâs Minho?â he asked, realizing he wasnât there anymore.
You and your friends smirked. âHe went to search for the love of his lifeâ Jeongin said, arching his eyebrows.
Hyunjin looked confused and you just chuckled. âIâll tell you laterâ
âOkayâ he nodded. âThey let me change classesâ he smiled.
âReally?â you gasped. âThatâs great!âÂ
âYouâre practicing with us?â Felix asked.
âYeah!â
âThatâs awesome, manâ Jeongin smiled.
Hyunjin smiled. âI know, Iâll get to practice with my pretty girlâ he said, smirking at you.
You groaned when you felt your friends starting to poke at your sides and make annoying noises at you. âStop it!â You groaned.
âY/Nâs in loveâ they started singing.Â
Hyunjin could only chuckle and shake his head.Â
He felt his phone buzz and he took it out. He read the message on his phone and frowned.
You noticed his expression. âWhatâs up, hun?â you asked.
âWhy is Jisung texting me: Minho just kissed me?â
. Ýâ âš . ÝË . Ýŕźâ§âË.
Two weeks laterâŚ
You and Hyunjin sat next to each other and he fiddled with his hands nervously. You put your hand over his fingers and smiled, with a chuckle.Â
âHyunjin, oh my God, calm down! Itâs just an assignmentâ you told him.
âYeah, I knowâ he sighed. âItâs just that I need to pass literature or-â
âYou wonât get your degree, you told me already, yeahâ you giggled.Â
Mr. Jackson came over with the assignments and stared at Hyunjin. He gave him a curious look adn then left the paper on his desk with a sigh.Â
âHereâs your work, Mr. Hwang. And yours Miss Y/L/Nâ he said, dropping yours on your table.Â
Hyunjin took a look at the paper and gasped. âI got an A!âÂ
âMe tooâ you smiled excitedly. âSee? I told you you were going to passâ
âI know, but itâs all thanks to youâ he said, grabbing your hand and kissing it a couple of times. âHonestly, I donât know what Iâd do without you nowâ
You looked at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. âYou wonât have to wonder nowâ you said and giggled.Â
Your eyes darted to the couple in front of you and sighed.
âEver since they got back, they wonât stop making out, itâs disgustingâ you said to him.
âHell, we are clingy and we donât go making out like thatâ Hyunjin said.
Minho pulled away and looked at him. âThatâs a lie, Hwang. Yesterday, I got scarred for life finding you naked on top of my best friendâ
âYeah, I got traumatized tooâ Jisung said next to him.
âHey, the happy couples at the back!â Mr. Jackson called out.Â
âSorryâ you all four said in unison.Â
You and Hyunjin turned your head to the side and found Chan and Changbin mocking you, pretend-kissing each other while making faces. Hyunjin threatened to throw his pencil case while you laughed at them. Hyunjin looked down at your smiley face and his heart doubled its size. Maybe literature hadnât been so bad after all.
Thank you, literature.Â
#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#hwang hyunjin#stray kids#skz smut#skz imagines#hyunjin#hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin x reader#hyunjin imagines#hyunjin fluff#hyunjin smut
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could you do platonic leon kennedy with his child that tried to escape him but failed, like how would he punish them?
"code 10-110" platonic!dad!yandere!leon s. kennedy & teen!runaway!gn!reader [oneshot] ! !
masterlist !
description; You know your dad meant well, but after he takes it way too far-- you decide to break free from his hold. Really, you should've known that you couldn't outrun him for long. After all, you were his kid, and he'd go to the end of the Earth to keep you safe (and by his side).
additional notes; hello!! i'm not sure if you aiming for headcanons or not, but i decided to do a oneshot!! i hope i did the concept justice,,, you're all very big brained when it comes to ideas. i love requests so much, because i don't think i ever would've come up with this idea; but i had so much fun writing it.
also, fun fact, i was in the gotham fandom for a long while!! i know a lot of police stuff because of that, so i vaguely remembered the "10 codes" from the get. 10-110 is a code for juvenile disturbance :D
warnings; Leon is Not Well, overprotectiveness, possessiveness, entrapment, running away, manipulation (more so of reader's environment more than reader themselves), cops/law enforcement, vague talk of violence/murder, and there ight be more I missed :[ if I missed one, please let me know! ^ ^
w/c; 4.5k
You didn't think you'd get this far.
Not for a lack of care in your plan-- no, you couldn't have been more careful as you planned everything and anything involved in your escape. Months passed before you enacted it. You bided your time, until you heard the birds outside start singing in the morning-- and when your dad came in to take away the space heater.
It was spring, and while you didn't know the exact date while locked away in a deceptively cozy, comfortable cell-- made to look like a bedroom, like your bedroom--, but he'd locked you away in September, so... around 5-6 months, you'd been holed up in there.
Your dad wasn't always like how is now, you think. Maybe there were traces of it-- but that was easily written off as him being a run-of-the-mill overprotective dad. He worked in law enforcement, he'd seen the worse humanity could offer and more.
And for that, you'd given him some slack. You tried not to snap at him when he made sure you weren't out of the house past 8, and that he had to have met a friend before you so much as hung out-- and god forbid sleepovers, those were reserved for only the most trustworthy friends with the must trustworthy of family.
There were a lot of rules when it came to interacting with you. Really, you tried not to let it get to you; but it was so... isolating. No one wanted to be your friend, and they especially didn't want to try and ask you out. It was like a death sentence, in their minds.
They took one look at your dad, and decided that'd he'd be the type to see you off to prom with a bullet in the head of your date. He's not like that. He doesn't kill people for it, for being near you or anything.
He'd never outwardly rude or violent about it either. But still, it was overbearing. It had gotten worse as you got older-- as he went on more missions, and after every one, he'd come back a little bit different.
A little bit more intense with his previously manageable protective nature-- you were starting to feel like a bird kept in a gilded cage. The list of rules he held you and your friends by was so long that even you couldn't keep track of it anymore,
Eventually, everyone left you. Ruled you off as the kid with a crazy dad that owns more guns and weapons then the average kid could've ever imagined.
You don't blame him for it-- not really. You understood it. He'd sat you down and explained to you time and time again, apologized for the way he was-- he just wanted you safe.
It all came to a head when he went a step too far.
15 minutes. That's all you'd been late by-- 15 goddamn minutes. He'd lowered the curfew from 8 to 7:30, then 7--
And eventually, it was down to fucking 5:00. You couldn't be out of the house without him being present after 5! Not even for a job! Nothing! He made no exceptions, and it irritated you to no end.
In an act of textbook teenage rebellion (not really, if you tried telling that to anyone around your age then they'd laugh in your face, call it a pathetic attempt at defiance) , you stayed out a little later than necessary. You popped into a gas station on the way back home from hanging out at the local library, got a bag of candy, and took your sweet old time walking home.
You knew there'd be consequences; but the ones you'd expected, like being unable to walk anywhere anymore, or losing privleges like your computer or TV, or even being grounded...
Well, safe to say that what he ended up choosing blew those other options far, far out of the water.
Anxiety curled in your gut as you thought about it more and more, the idea that you thought for sure you wouldn't make it this far. By no means did this make you feel any safer than you had before-- if anything, it puts you more on edge.
Honestly, you don't know what you thought you'd get out of this. You can't go to the cops-- you're just another runaway. Your dad hadn't skimped out on the story he wove about you,
When you first got out-- first pried your way out of that basement, bathed in mockingly warm light-- all the amenities your average teenager could ask for, save for the ability to leave--, you'd made the mistake of trying to head to the police station.
It was stupid, you realize. And nearly got yourself caught in less than 30 minutes-- they'd ushered you in, listened to your tale of how your dad trapped you down in a basement. The town had to have been buzzing, and you'd wrongfully assumed that your dad had been playing up the 'grieving father going through hell and back to try and find their kid'.
Luck. That's all you had on your side, pure, dumb luck that you got out of there in time. That the walls of the precinct were thin enough for you to hear the cops talking about you in the other room. They weren't much for hushed tones, which was stupid when they talking about someone in the room right next to them.
The chief had been called over, you think. Sounded like him. But regardless of who he was, what he said hit you like a ton of bricks, no matter the person behind it.
"You got Kennedy's kid? Ain't they sicker than a dog, though? Bedbound, didn't he say?" Then another one, the younger one that seemed the most trustworthy when she'd pulled you into the building, and gave you some water and a blanket, corrected the man, "He never said what kind of sick, sir. It might be... in their head, and I don't think he ever said bedbound. Just stuck in the house."
Blood rushed in your ears, grip tightening on the little paper cup in your hand. You fought against the primal urge to flee, to bolt straight up and scramble to the door you'd entered from; no regard for what or who you might of disturbed or knocked into/over.
Instead, you'd stood-- shaking, but trying to keep calm, and walked to the back. You headed out the employee entrance, where they'd clock in and out, you think.
You didn't run until you were a good ways away, until you got to a more residential part of the town. Frantically, like a startled animal, you darted past houses and through backyards; running in the general direction of a train track nearby.
God-- you don't know how you got it in your head that train hopping was the easiest way to hightail it out of there, but now, you're very much of the opinion that you will never do that again.
Maybe it was because it was your first time-- or maybe these things never get easier as you keep doing them-- but you were a hairs length away from losing a leg.
No.
You stayed on foot, or on greyhound buses and the occasional passenger train with the small bits of cash you could scrounge up before your escape from the house.
With no particular destination in mind, you found yourself in some non-descript, decrepit convenience store. The tiled floors were cracked and dirty, looking like they'd give you the black plague if you touched them head on; the fluorescent lights above bathed the store in a sickly sort of yellow hue, the buzzing seeming louder than it was supposed to be.
But hey, you weren't a code inspector. You'd gained nothing from ragging on the decrepit state of the place-- it was good enough, to grab some supplies. There were no bugs, and the displays were kept neat and clean; that's all you can really ask for, in a place like this.
When you got up to the checkout lane, the woman manning the register gave you a wary sort of look, on you've become rather accustomed to.
"Where you headin' to, sweetheart? I never seen you 'round these parts before." These sorts of conversations were a dime a dozen, you'd realized. It was only fair, for people to be worried about a random kid wandering about, seemingly unaccomponied by any guardian-- or even a friend.
But, you'd also become accustomed to answering these kinds of questions. To quickly shut them down with a soft hum and a "My aunt. I'm visiting her for a little bit."
You must've gone further south than you'd thought-- it was warm, and muggy, especially for spring. Her accent was heavier than you'd ever heard before, something you don't come across in the midwest. The kind of accent you only get if you've spent your whole life in the south, and never intend to leave it.
It might've been your lack of accent that set off alarm bells in her head, her hand stopping mid-scan. "What's her name, darl'? I bet I know her. Towns like these, you end up knowin' everyone by name."
Ah.
Yeah... that was a bit of a problem. Small towns and all-- but you can't really step into a big city either, yeah? It'd be crawling with cops, and you'd stick out like a sore thumb. Even more so than you do now.
"She's in the town over." You quickly pulled from your ass, but she didn't start scanning again "The next town is a 30 minute drive."
You bite your tongue, trying not to let irritation rise. She meant well, you're sure, but the longer you're here, the more of a chance you get discovered.
"I'm travelling by greyhound. The next bus comes in 10 minutes, and my bus stop is halfway across the city." There, that should put a fire under her feet, right? Make her start scanning again-- a solid enough answer to ease her worries, you hope.
For a moment, you were afraid she wouldn't. That'd she try to lead you to a backroom and call the cops, report a possible runaway. That was something that happened a lot, too. People who meant well, surely, but in the end-- all they could do was harm.
You don't want to think about how your dad would react. How he would punish you for this.
Then, as if angels were shining down from Heaven itself-- she started moving again, and the rest of the transaction went smoothly.
Though, the concern never eased from her eyes. You could still feel her gaze, piercing against your back as you made haste out of the convenience store.
Truth is, you... actually don't know when the next bus was. Or where it was going to. In all honesty, you'd been planning on taking a train out, but that wouldn't be here for a couple hours. You never did much research with it-- beyond making sure it wasn't going to some big city.
But, with a fire started under your own feet, you were forced back to the bus stop, and made to board the very next bus; no matter the desitination.
It seemed like your luck was running out now, as one-way country roads turned into four-lane highways, and when skyscrapers started coming into view; and the sign, declaring "ATLANTA - 5 MILES AHEAD"
You let yourself mumble a little curse, under your breath as you anxiously watched the traffic around you. This wasn't how this was meant to go. Yeah, you're in Georgia-- a far cry from the state of corn, wheat, and soy that you hail from, but still.
Not good.
It's almost certain your face was floating around on various TV programs, missing posters covering light posts and bulletin boards alike-- but you hoped and prayed to anything that'd listen that the efforts to make people aware of your disappearance hadn't stretched outside of your county, or at least your homestate.
But other than being caught, being in a city posed other risks. A lone-travelling teenager wasn't a good thing to be in places like these. You could easily get lost amongst the crowds, yes; but sometimes that worked in your favor, and sometimes it didn't.
This was not one of those times.
You hadn't showered in a while-- a week and a half. Gross? Sure, you'll admit that much; but showering wasn't on your top priority. Escaping your dad was your biggest concern right now, and personal hygiene wasn't something that could trump that need at any rate.
But that singled you out. You were dirty, looked homeless. As you cut through a park, you noticed that various hostile architecture covering nearly every bench around. Ads for Salvation Army and local homeless shelters right by them.
It was obvious this place wouldn't take too kindly to you, if they were trying as hard as you think they are at cracking down on homelessness.
Right before you could exit the park-- you noticed a cop. You eyed them, keeping watch, making sure they don't spot you. What was the chance, that they would? Or if they did, that they'd even care? It looked like they were on break, anyhow.
Just when you deemed yourself in the clear, enough to take your eyes off the officer and focus your gaze ahead of yourself, did you hear someone shout "Hey!"
Maybe it wasn't for you.
It probably wasn't,
but you couldn't take the chance. Regardless of the intent, of who it'd really been aimed it-- if it was even the cop that said it, you took off running. No doubt looking suspicious as hell, in the meanwhile.
Behind you, your paranoia was proven correct when you heard the same voice calling "We got a code 10-110 in Freedom park! Looks to be in early to mid teens, on foot!" You sped up at that-- you didn't recognize the code, obviously. You didn't spend too much time familiarizing yourself with police codes, y'know,
But it didn't bode well at all, how they started describing you to a goddamned T, right down to your brown, fur-lined bomber jacket you'd snagged from the coat closet back home.
You pushed your body harder, lungs burning and throat closing up with fear-- this can't be how it ends. It just can't. You won't let it, you'd rather jump in the Chattahoochee river and swim your way down to Florida then get caught like this.
In your panic, you lost your footing. A loose pebble worked its way under your shoe, and sent you tumbling forward and sprawled out on the hard, unforgiving concrete of a city sidewalk. People avoided you-- especially when, before you could even get up on your knees, the cop grabbed you and kept you down, shouting what sounded like gobble-dee-gook through the radio they'd unclipped from their hip.
In the end, it was a goddamn pebble that took you out! A pebble! You can't even be that mad, it was so ridiculous-- sure, if you thought harder, then that pebble never would've tripped you up if you weren't noticed and subsequently chased by that cop, and you never would've been in Atlanta if you hadn't lied through your teeth to that random, well-meaning southern lady--
You could do this all day, track all your little slights and mistakes to that one harrowing, terrible moment that it all came crashing down.
Two months and 17 days.
That's how long you'd made it.
That's it.
Really, you should be proud of yourself. Again, you never expected yourself to make it that long-- but still, it did nothing to quell that world-ending despair you felt that it'd come to an end.
If anything, it hurt more, that'd you'd lasted longer. You really thought you had a chance, only for a pebble to slip you up, and have shipped right back to your dads arms.
Right back to the basement, that's significantly more bare than before. There were still the basics, but all your magazines, books, journals, your TV, CD player, 3DS, PS3-- everything. Just... Everything was gone, except for the furniture, some clothes, and your blankets and pillows.
Though, he didn't take your stuffed animals. Maybe you should've felt insulted at that, find a way to twist it and make it seem like he was treating you as a child (which, for the record, he absolutely was; but for other reasons).
It'd just be a waste of energy, though. He was like a brick wall now-- those little flinches, the sad looks that'd sometimes find its way on his face, how his apologies sounded so genuine at times...
They were all gone, replaced with a cold sort of determination you'd only seen your dad have when he was working on a particularly high-stakes mission.
You curled up tighter, clutching the Invader Zim GIR plush you'd gotten for your 8th birthday closer to your chest; seeking whatever comfort you could, now that were back here.
Not even home. You refuse to think of this place as home anymore, especially not your dressed-up cell. Even if it had carpet floors instead of cold tiles, and the walls painted a sky blue instead of a dingy grey; you still saw it for what it was.
A prison. And while your dad might've tried to change your opinion on it before, after your little 'stunt', as he'd dubbed it, he all but leaned into your perception of the space.
You heard the door click. And once upon a time, you would've rushed to it; hoped that you could shoulder your way past your dad-- only for him to laugh and think you were just happy to see him. You let him believe that at the time.
And now, you just flip over. You defiantly face the wall, not giving your dad the time of day. It was the only way you could fight back now, and even then you knew it was useless. That he'd force you to engage regardless of what you did,
That, realistically, your silent treatment couldn't last long at all. Eventually, you'll need to talk to him. To ask him for more toothpaste, or make a specific request for dinner; or even ask him the date.
He never told you the last one, always giving you wildly differing answers that'd thrown you off at first, before you caught on. Caught onto how he was trying to keep out of the know on the weather, so you wouldn't try and book it when the weather was more hospitable.
Even as you felt the mattress deep near the end of your metal-framed, twin-sized daybed; you didn't stir. You didn't dare move, didn't dare breathe; like a rabbit caught in the teeth of a tricky fox.
"Kid, you can't keep doing this." You don't answer him. This was by far the longest you'd been able to keep up with this small, but meaningful, act of rebellion. A few days, at least. You don't a way of tracking it indefinitely, but you've figured out a less concrete way of telling the passage of time.
That being how often he visited. It differed, sometimes he'd go longer without visiting, and other times he'd pop up every what-felt-like 30 minutes or so. There was no telling what mood he'd be in for the day, but you managed.
It's been a while, you know that much. And he was getting rather impatient, even if he tried to mask it. You haven't so much as looked his direction this whole time, only getting up and moving around when the coast was clear. When there was neither hide nor hair of your dad's presence,
Save for the camera, stuck up in the corner near the door. You know it's there-- it's a new addition, and you make a point of not looking at it, refusing to acknowledge it. You knew there was a good chance it was just a scare tactic, that it wasn't actually hooked up...
But still, you had to stick with this. You had to be going somewhere with this, after all.
A heavy sigh came next, then your dad shifted from where he sat at the end of the bed. Scooting up, closer to you. It took all you had not to curl up tighter. You had to stay still. You had to act like you weren't there, like you were just a ghost.
When his hand landed on your shoulder, you couldn't help but flinch a little at it. Even though the contact was soft, kind; just like the man who'd raised you all by his lonesome, though his current behavior was a far cry of who he used to be.
Or maybe, just what your perception of him had been. Maybe he was always like this, he just... snapped. Couldn't take it anymore and decided to put his worries to rest for the foreseeable future.
"Listen," You wish you didn't. You wish you could shut off your brain and just lay there, truly motionless; unseeing, unhearing, and unmoving, until he gave up and left you alone.
He knew you had to, though. Otherwise he wouldn't hve kept talking. You have nothing else to do, no other viable option but to listen to what he has to say-- whatever ultimatum he's come up with now.
You won't fold. You won't give in, you tell yourself. Not now, not ever; not until he gives up for good, and lets you back into society.
(deep down, you know that was never an option. especially now. you knew that he had his claws deep in you, that he wasn't going to let go. that he wouldn't dare to, lest his precious, sweet child get hurt along the way)
(it was all for your own good, he'd tell you. you never believed him. maybe he did believe that himself, but you knew better; you knew that, at the core of it, this was for his own benefit. keeping you locked up, away from the world-- it minimized the worries he had about you getting hurt.)
(about you being taken away from him, like so many people before you had. so many loved ones, friends, families, significant others-- he can't have the cycle repeating with you. he just can't. anyone else, anyone else but you.)
His hold on your shoulder tightened. Just a little, but it still made your haunches raise; made the hair on the back of your neck stand up straight. You hope he didn't notice.
"The sooner you accept this, the sooner your punishment will end, okay? This is for your own good."
Don't do it, you told yourself-- don't you dare, you don't need to respond--
"You keep saying that." Your voice was rough and croaky from disuse, and you cleared your throat to try and take a little bit of the edge off. You could almost feel the brightness and warmth of your dads smile, bearing into your back-- now that you finally deemed him worthy enough of a response. "And I'll keep saying it, as long as I mean it."
You huffed-- his definition of punishment had always been... loose. He never took it out on you, rather on others. He wasn't violent or rude per se, but if one of your friends were present when you two got into a tight spot...
Well. Let's just say your dad can yell like a drill sergeant if he's pushed to it. And that those friends never showed their faces around you again, in fear of inciting his wrath again. And you don't blame them.
But he's never done that to you, no-- you were his precious little angel, of course. He'd much sooner blame himself for being too 'lax' on you, that he left any doubt in your head that he didn't mean the best for you.
It was all very backhanded, how he assumed that you running away was not because of how insanely overprotective he was being-- but because he wasn't being overprotective enough.
Really, someone needs to study his brain. Maybe he got something in his system when he was on a mission, that crossed wires in his brain and made him think that this was perfectly fine. Lying about your kid being ill and locking you away for no fault of your own.
You two lapse into an uncomfortable silence, but not for long. No. Never for long, not with your dad around.
"I'm sorry you feel this way." There it is. He always says that-- not 'I'm sorry I'm basically holding you captive in the basement' or 'I'm sorry for not taking your thoughts, feelings, and dreams into consideration'. No, it's always 'i'm sorry you feel this way' or 'i'm sorry that you don't like it here',
Always followed up by an excuse, which speaking of, should be coming right about... "But there was no way around it. I just want the best for you, kid."
There we go-- he says that one a lot, 'there was no way around it'. You go to argue, but decide against it. It never gets you anywhere, and you consider going back to the silent treatment.
Until his hold on your shifted-- he flipped you over and pulled you up to sit. It never failed to spook you, how easily he could still move you around like you were a toddler. He worked as a government agent-- duh, he's going to be strong, but that didn't make it any less terrifying.
He could snap you like a goddamned toothpick if he so wished-- but you knew that wasn't a concern, not in the slightest. You much more afraid of him snapping anyone who was unfortunate to get close to you like a toothpick.
And then, his arm wrapped around your shoulder and pulled you close. The sort of side-hug was uncomfortable for you, physically speaking. Your neck straining at the angle it landed in, and you not caring enough to make nay move to alleviate it.
Surely, your dad noticed it-- but didn't comment on it. He did shift a little, though. Tried to have you more comfortable.
It worked a bit, but not by much. You couldn't be bothered to try any further.
"I love you, kid. You know that, don't you?" All he got in response was a little grunt, short and curt. What followed was the saddest little laugh you'd ever heard from your dad. "I know, I know. It doesn't feel like that, but I really am trying."
He pulled you closer, the hug feeling more like a boa constrictor's embrace than the comforting hold of a parent. "I can't lose you. I can lose anything else, but not you. Not my kid."
That part, you believed. Just for the clear, rock-solid resolve in his tone. You know he loves you-- you know that he doesn't want to lose you,
and that was part of the problem, a major one, no less.
"...I love you too." You manage to cough out, and only then did he release you from the ever-tightening, awkward side hug. As soon as you were free, you flopped right back on your side.
You didn't flip around to the face the wall just yet, thought. And your dad took that as an invitation for conversation-- you weren't too active in it, but you did give some input here and there.
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