#but it makes certain things make more sense to me and that's what matters
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zarathelonewolf · 3 days ago
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Some people need to write in this absence of courage though, and purely because of it, and purely FOR it.
Not to say that I don't get your point: it is a good point and I would like to see more hopeful dark stories, stories similar to what you prefer. I would prefer them too, ideally.
However sometimes people really do not have the courage to "want something better, to know that it was wrong"... Because to THEM (and I say this as someone who is similar to them to an extent, though I fight everyday to be hopeful) it does not seem like an act of courage, it seems like an act of insolence.
Why insolence? Because of a lot of things.
"How dare you (general you, not you, OP) want something better? The result of what was done for you is a negative thing that pushes you to do negative things, how dare you think that you should want something better?"
This is the insolence I speak of. The insolence they think they are culpable of. Sometimes people really do need to show the trauma "bare". They need to write out the negative voice. It's what they know and they feel isolated because people keep telling them it'll get better but they are not there yet, so they want to show their frustration. They may want to reject the idea of not taking up space, alternatively, when they show their trauma: so they show it in a gritty manner and without solution to spite the people that tell them they should just keep it all in unless they have healed, or unless they have the intention of doing so.
It may not be hopeful dark art, that's true. But that's not what dark stories HAVE TO be in order to be "good art", either. They don't want to fix something. They just want to show it. They are "vent art".
And it is needed. By people that don't have the "courage" yet, that maybe won't ever have that courage. They need to see something other than their mind crumble... something other than their body, something other than their voice, something other than their memory while it's crumbling. They need to see a story that crumbles without getting back up. That way they feel less alone, perhaps. They feel that the suffering is real and that it does not need healing to be considered suffering. Especially when others interact with the story and cry alongside them while in a similar situation.
A weird broken sort of solace so to speak.
Is it nice? No, not really. But in certain moments of people's lives it's what they need. In a twisted sense, for some people, all they will ever want to experience. It's not just insolence after all. For certain people, darkness itself is the refuge, because the world outside is too bright and a lot people want to be rid of their dark thoughts and want the victims themselves to be rid of the dark thoughts and find a solution for them, whereas these victims just CAN'T, they can't manage yet and they feel inadequate so they produce something that makes them feel like they matter for something.
Something dark and gritty and hopeless.
Art isn't good due to the fact that it expresses correct values. Art is good because it makes you feel, or merely because you feel drawn to interacting with it. Same goes for dark art. It is good dark art when it makes you feel dark stuff, whether or not it heads towards a good or bad ending.
I say this as someone who is hopeless about herself and himself and hopeful for others. Weird right? But it's how I exist. People's comfort sometimes makes me feel even lonelier. I would prefer silence and reading dark content AND hurt/comfort most of the time.
I come from a place of being pressured into healing. I want to heal on my own now, I don't trust therapists for shit. I will find my hope but not now. And dark content with hopelessness, vent art done purely for the vent and not for the healing helps me immensely because I feel my resistance to healing seen without someone telling me that I can heal because I know I CAN, I just don't want to because people have all sorts of expectations about how my healing should be, but while people can object to my healing not really being healing, they can hardly disagree that the dark stuff I write isn't dark. At least in my experience.
People have differing types of sensitivity, and not all people who are lovers love themselves. Love doesn't have to be total, not all people experience it like that. Sensitivity does not have to make you like dark hopeless stories, but it does not mean you are sensitive only if you prefer hopeful stories OR when you reject completely dark stories. People can be "lovers" and sensitive in all three of cases. So I agree about being frustrated for people saying "you're not sensitive enough" because that's not true, your sensitivity simply differs from theirs.
Vent art can be self care just as much as hopeful art. And dark content does not have to be vent art, it can also just want to make people witness gross stuff because they enjoy gross stuff being depicted for the sake of it (to make an example: people with certain laraphilias that cannot be explored safely in real life).
I am merely playing devil's advocate, with the devil being something I love: my only chance at venting without feeling pressured into a reaction. So I will concede this exposition may seem personal, almost too personal, and angry, but I tend to be passionate about the things I love.
I hope I didn't anger people with my response to this. But then again, I should take up space more often...
too much to say in a post but i re-read (partly skimmed) my manuscript of my book from a year and a half ago and it's so fucking good and also feels like a hemisphere of my brain has been returned to me. like oh yeah. my creative self. the fullness of my being. i missed you
i need to fucking talk about it but it's intimidating
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I know this sounds so boring but what Bruce with a polite, wise gentle girlfriend? This is so boring 🥹🙂‍↕️ I’m sorry🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️
No omg I actually love how like domestic this request is, in a way?? Literally in love with the amount of creative freedom that you guys let me have with reqs.
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BF! Bruce Wayne w/ a Wise/Caring Girlfriend
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BF! Bruce Wayne who you're convinced really doesn't have a chill button. There are only a handful of times over the past few years you've been together where he's been home, unoccupied, and not pacing around the Manor like a maniac.
BF! Bruce Wayne who's always just so sore, achy, and tired. This comes into play especially when his age finally starts catching up to him, depite how hard he pushes his body. The best thing, however, is that if you get him to sit down for more than five minutes, you'll get to rub his back.
"Sit."
"Hm?" He was pacing the lavish master bedroom again, his mind working overtime to plan ahead for a recent situation with his 'nightly extracurricular.' In all honesty, he wasn't paying attention as you watched him from the edge of the bed.
"Come sit with me, Bruce." You repeat softly, moving to lay back against the pillows and holding your loving arms out for the tired man beside you.
"I can't-"
"You're going to burn out if you keep going at this rate, Bruce." You don't even give him the chance to protest before you're leaning forward, grabbing his wrist, and pulling him to lay on top of you with his head burried into your chest. There's a few moments of domestic bliss as he tries to find the will to pull away and fails. "Sometimes..." You start softly, the heels of your palms gently digging into the knotted muscles of his back and shoulders, "Sometimes I think you forget to breathe."
A deep breath and a soft sigh can be heard, although its slightly muffled by your chest. "I know." He whispers after a few moments. "Im sorry."
"Don't be." You respond without hesitation as you continue your gentle ministrations. "You shouldn't apologize to me. Ever, Bruce." You pause for a moment as thoughts gather. "You should, however, apologize to yourself for what you keep putting yourself through.
BF! Bruce Wayne who doesn't realize it, but needs your help so much more than he'll ever need anything else. It doesn't matter if you know that he's Batman or not, you somehow just... Know what needs to happen. Bruce, of course, tries not to let you in on exactly what problems he's facing, but he swears you have a sixth sense for this kind of stuff.
BF! Bruce Wayne who absolutely melts every time you make him dinner, even though he likely won't be home to eat it. He often forgwts to eat between work meetings and beating the everloving shit out of criminals on the Gotham City Streets.
The feeling of a large, caloused set of hands resting on your waist was enough to pull you out of your own thoughts as you put down the spatula in your hand. "Somebody's home early." Your voice is almost a teasing jest to Bruce, but he knows just how much you've missed him over the past few days.
"I heard that a certain lovely woman was in need of attention." His voice is slightly muffled by the skin of your shoulder and fabric of your shirt as he practically buries himself into you, pressing a soft line of kisses up your neck.
"You can't just keep cancelling work meetings for me, handsome." You turn to face him for a moment, pulling him down slightly to press a kiss to the tip of his nose. "You need to start doing things for your own sake."
BF! Bruce Wayne who refuses to go on a vacation for years. Until you listen in on some banter between him and a few of the 'Elite Gothamites' at a Wayne Gala and find out where he's always wanted to go. And proceed to drop subtle hints that you want to go there until he finally gives in, because how could Bruce ever resist that begging tone? After all, it made him feel less guilty that it was for you (it totally wasn't) and less selfish for taking time away from the city forgotten by God.
"You have impeccable taste in locations, beautiful." He mutters before pressing a kiss to your warm cheek, broad arm already around your shoulders as you basked in the setting sun of the private beach he rented out for a few days.
"Maybe you should listen to your girlfriend a little more, Mr. Wayne." You tease softly before gently grasping his chin in one hand and pulling him in for a soft, sweet kiss. His lips mixed with the faint taste of liquor are as close as you feel you'll ever get to heaven.
BF! Bruce Wayne who, if you know about his identity as the Caped Crusader, goes to you for help as little as possible. You undertsand that he's doing it for your own protection, but you can't help but feel a little upset over him.hiding even more from you.
"No, there will be too many thugs waiting at that entrance." He mutters softly, eyes trained on the flashing and blinking lights displayed on the Batcomputer forming a map of a warehouse inhabited by the Joker.
"What if you went in through those vents?" You ask softly, moving the hand not on the back of his rolling chair to point out a hidden ventilation system. "Sure, I get that it's a tight fit, but you could probably take of the utility belt for a few minutes, right?"
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bonefall · 23 hours ago
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As someone with P-DID(Partial DID. I still have headmates but I can't really hand the body over to them) I am so fucking concerned about Moonpaw. I don't like the idea that she has DID because she's a chimera, that's not how it works, and I don't like the idea of them demonizing chimeras(I am not one myself though I just think we should all dislike that)
But I'm also super concerned because people aren't acknowledging how ableist this is. The voice is stated in the blurb to be sinister and people are ignoring that. I even saw someone say "It's not plurality it's a SPIRITUAL thing" and like. That's not any better. You know that's not better right? It still promotes the idea that hearing voices is always Bad and chimeras murder their siblings.
Idk I'm just super worried.
It's difficult to get through to certain folks on "Why This Is Bad" because most people don't have an understanding of non-overt bigotry.
Guy calling you a slur on the bus? That is overt. It's obvious. It makes "sense" to an observer that he is threatening you, by calling you to attention, trying to provoke a reaction. It's less overt when, say, you're stimming on the bus and that same guy starts huffing and growling in discomfort, but they can still follow the logic that Bus Guy's behavior towards you is altered based on his prejudice.
But they'll have a hard time making that final leap-- that Bus Guy's idea of your disorder is tied to something harmful.
My stims tend to be facial (blinking rapidly, scrunching face, shaking head, etc), but even without the classic "hand flapping," Bus Guy will tie these traits to unpredictability, "weirdness," or stupidity. If we weren't just on the bus and this man had power over me in some way, like if he was my teacher, or boss, or even a coworker, his assumptions about me would influence my life negatively.
Then, of course, multiply Bus Guy by the entire bus full of people and their social biases, and this is how systemic problems are perpetuated without a single person exercising overt bigotry.
THAT is why "Sinister Voice In Head" is a harmful stereotype. In Bus Guy's mind, a link is being formed; Voices = Make You Bad.
Just like how it doesn't actually matter if the "stupid character" is stimming because they're autistic or not, it's still reinforcing that bias. "Spiritual Thing" or not, she is being negatively influenced by Evil Sinister Voice.
Worse; there's barely any counter examples-- no humanizing portrayals of how stimming can help you focus, no discussion of real problems some stimming can cause (skin picking can be really destructive for example), no honest stories of what living with a difficult headmate truly feels like, etc.
...Digressing. My hand on your shoulder, Nonnie. It's gonna be ok.
Even if it is WORST case scenario, total catastrophe... this isn't the first or last time that headmates are handled badly in media. Remember; cultural bias is ingrained in people the same way that canyons are carved. Slowly, steadily, over many examples and many years, lapping away at rock that is already wet.
One more bad example is just another drop in that wave. It will not bring the wall down. It's worth concern! It's worrying, I know! We can do something about it.
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olderthannetfic · 2 hours ago
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Quote from a post: "the things created within fandom aren’t real - an individual fic can’t cause actual, material harm to a reader, even if it contains tropes that would be harmful or distressing if they happened in that reader’s real life; an author’s use of certain tropes or interest in certain characters is not indicative of their actual morals and values in real life; thought crimes are not real crimes - but fanfiction is produced by human beings who are themselves products of the societies and communities in which we all live, and these societies and communities all have flaws and failings.
which is to say, those of us who prefer to read male friendships as romantic do need to be aware that, no matter how enlightened on gender and its foibles we think ourselves to be, we are nonetheless influenced as modern humans by a modern tendency to discourage platonic physical and emotional closeness between men - especially straight men - on the grounds that two men having this sort of relationship is inherently queer and, in being queer, implicitly sexual [an understanding of queerness which is another powerful societal influence on our thought, even if we know we don’t agree with it.]"
Okay this is from a big post from a big fandom account here please don't speculate who it is this is not about them specifically and has nothing to do with them i genuinely respect this poster and they are nothing but a supportive space and don't have any anti-nonsense. But I wanna talk about this point that they are making "the society is queering straight friendships" which is something also the anti-fujoshi crowd is saying and honestly I can't agree with that point.
I don't think its us the people who make fandom are queering the relationships between two straight men but the patriarchal system we live under and straight men themselves are doing it to themselves. They can't show love and affection to each other lest other dudes will call them gay not because there are secret fujoshis around that sexualize them. They can be vulnerable period lest everyone calls them whiney like women. I feel like (and most of the things I say here are vibes, not facts) men having close friendships with other men are green flags, and most women are excited to see men who have exact the strong relationship that are portrayed in media.
I'm confused by this talking point to be honest. I also understand that by saying everything I said above I sort of said the same thing as the original poster. In a sense that society is the problem here and we live in a society as we know, but... idk I feel like what they say is "we live in a society where everyone by default is sexualizing male friendships" which sounds like the standard anti-fujoshi talking point to me.
And regarding the point of romantic relationships being prioritized over platonic— I feel like is a complete bullshit to be honest.
Romantic relationships are prioritized over platonic ones across the board. Straight couples leave their straight friends behind when they get further into relationship too! I don't understand this impulse to constantly talk about romantic vs platonic thing when its about queer ships, and maybe there is somewhere straight ship discourse about romantic vs plantonic but its not as big as with mlm or wlw ships.
And honestly even with this take I feel like romantic relationships are also not prioritized but rather are more encouraged. And there is difference between encouraging and actually prioritizing I think.
(I want to add here that I'm not aroace so maybe its a blindspot and from that identitys point of view the dynamics might be different)
In reality I think both are equally hard to obtain and maintain. I always felt like the fandom being so shipping focused was not about people being hellbent on romance but just the fact that good love stories are few and far between both in fiction and IRL and we can't help but try to make something at least remotely good, or interesting or satisfying.
Again, my main problems is: 1) I don't agree that romantic relationships are prioritized to that high degree over the friendships like everyone claims. 2) I don't think that every single person is actually a secret fujoshi waiting to make any straight male friendship gay. 3) Fandoms are romantic ship centric because people just want more narratively satisfying romantic stories that are underrepresented in media (or they don't get to experience it IRL) rather than they are vehemently against platonic ships.
I don't know this hopefully came out coherent.
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The person who wrote that sounds like a pretentious twatwaffle, and I am so sick of seeing otherwise reasonable people spout that crap. That's been true since the 90s and probably before.
The reality is that Western culture enshrines male friendship as the highest form of affection possible. This goes back to the Classical world. And, yes, they were probably fucking too back then, but the thing that all of the media is about is friendship.
The entire backbone of Western culture is built on the idea that men are spiritually, biologically, inherently more capable than women of this highest form of relationship. Romance is the big thing for women because we're not eligible for The Pure And Holy Friendship Between Two Men.
The epidemic of male loneliness is real, but we haven't gotten any less "Bros before hos". Fandom and m/m shipping behavior are irrelevant to this.
--
Furthermore, fandom has plenty of people who don't focus on shipping.
AO3 was built by slashers, so ship type is a top-level category, and the site obviously signals that it's about shipping and particularly non heterosexual shipping since you can filter out het.
Past sites often had more metadata that wasn't around ships (e.g. FFN's genres that work like bookstore genres) and almost never let you get rid of het. You might have been able to filter in The Gay, but straight stuff was literally unmarked.
~We do need to be aware of~
Bite me.
This naggy phrase is everywhere, and nothing good comes of it.
The only thing we need to be aware of is that Blorbo is great and s/he should be mashed together with Other Blorbo. If that's in gen adventures, you do you.
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gothamite-rambler · 8 hours ago
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When you can't get to the hospital, gently pull, pop, and reposition the dislocated body part
Bruce was so accustomed to his injuries that at a certain point, he learned to treat them himself, even snapping bones back into place. He was used to the pain at this point; in fact, it was almost enjoyable. Once you’ve had your back snapped by Bane and survived, you learn to adjust. A dislocated shoulder? His specialty. It became the equivalent of cracking knuckles—now, that thought made him chuckle.
Nightwing (gripping Batman's arm): Okay, I’m going to pull on three.
Batman (urgent): Don’t count down! I don’t want to expect it!
Nightwing: I’m not doing that surprise thing you do. Just get ready on three for when I pull.
Batman: Wait—on three, do you pull right when you say ‘three,’ or do you wait a second before pulling? This is an important question.
Nightwing (annoyed): Oh God, yes! After I say three, there’s no hesitation!
Batman: All right, I’m trusting you!
Nightwing: Yeah, uh-huh. One… two… three!
Nightwing yanked on Batman's arm, and with a sickening crack, he popped the dislocated shoulder back into place.
Batman (moaning, relieved): Oh, that felt GOOD!
Nightwing (exhausted, wiping his brow): Yep, you’re welcome.
Batman rolled his shoulder to test the movement.
Batman: Good job, Nightwing.
Nightwing (grinning): No problem. I’ve been doing this for you since I was 13… I never get used to the sound or your reactions, but it is what it is.
Batman (defensive): I’m not that weird.
Nightwing (smirking): A little weird, but honestly, that’s the least concerning thing about you.
Batman (taking it as a compliment, raising an eyebrow): That’s actually good to know. Thank you.
Superman and Wonder Woman had been watching silently, with Wonder Woman looking utterly fascinated.
Wonder Woman (eyes wide, excited): That was amazing! You must teach me how to do that!
Batman (raising a hand, pausing): It takes years of practice and a lot of unintentional assaults.
Nightwing nodded in agreement, crossing his arms.
Nightwing (nodding): You used to resist a lot more when people did that for you. Remember when you kicked me in my kiwis?
Batman (defensive, shrugging): It was a reflex. You had to fix my leg.
Nightwing (rolling his eyes, frustrated): That doesn’t mean you aim for my good leg!
Batman (dismissing tone, waving a hand): Are you walking? Are you crime-fighting? Yes! So no complaints.
Nightwing (smirking, playfully challenging): I can always re-dislocate your shoulder. Try me.
Batman (smirking back): Well, I wouldn’t be complaining. Tim can do the same thing.
Nightwing: You trained us all for this! We should be getting compensated for it.
Batman (smirking, teasing): Let’s not get crazy—this is a father-and-son bonding moment.
Nightwing (gesturing toward the others): Let’s ask the audience.
Wonder Woman (siding with Batman, nodding thoughtfully): I would probably have my friends or future kids do the same thing.
Superman (crossing his arms, disgusted): I don’t mean to interrupt this enthralling conversation, but um… how did you learn this? And why is it pleasurable?
Batman (shrugging, matter-of-fact): You learn a lot when you break your body. The hospital isn’t always the easiest place to go. I just pull, pop, feel great, and get back to stopping criminals.
Wonder Woman (tilting her head, intrigued): So you have no pain tolerance?
Nightwing (chuckling, teasing): It’s less about pain tolerance and more about him enjoying it sometimes. I mean, he’s with Catwoman every other week—what do you expect?
Batman nodded in agreement, not even bothering to dispute it.
Wonder Woman (nodding, making sense of it): Oh, that makes sense.
Superman (raising an eyebrow, incredulous): That made sense to you?!
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arcanarix · 9 hours ago
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Make That Double, Ch10 - Yan!SatoSugu X Fem!Reader [AO3]
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❥ Word Count: ~7.8K
❥ Warnings: non-con, rimming (m. receiving btwn stsg), double piv penetration, lactation kink (w/ geto), mommy kink (w/ geto), fingering (f. receiving), cunnilingus, pussy slapping
❥ Summary: Double the trouble, or double the fun? Difficult to say when you're unfortunately roped into the affairs of two powerful shamans who can't leave each other alone, either.
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Lately, activity has picked up quite a bit for Geto and his goons. He’s had to be absent for longer stretches of time, which gives you more time to plot. You do have the incantation and the instructions memorized by heart that Miguel has given you, and during times which he remains behind, he has coached you through a bit of the technique he’s embedded into your necklace, which is actually something called a cursed tool.
Much of this world is still unknown to you, even with the briefings Miguel has been kind enough to give you—hopefully without any of Geto’s curse spirits monitoring, but according to Miguel, most of the time they’ve had a green light on all of this.
“Initially, Geto instructed me to make it so that when you wear that necklace, it binds him to you,” he explains to you one day when Geto had been out of the city to take care of some urgent matters that you don’t care to know the details about. “It also grants you the ability to see curses, but I’d imagine he hasn’t released any around you since he hasn’t felt the need to…”
You interject, “No, actually. I… I tried to pull some things before and I saw some barely there blobs trying to prevent me from trying anything. So yeah, while my perception of curse spirits aren’t strong, I know that they’re around me all the time. Geto must keep some around to make sure I’m not up to anything that might hurt me. Before you ask, I don’t sense or feel any around me now but I figure you already picked up on that.”
Miguel doesn’t need you to elaborate, thankfully. He grunts in response, adjusting his scarf.
“Trust me, you’re not going to be stuck here for much longer. Not going to even lie to you, I’m pretty worried about Geto. Since the last family meeting, he’s been a bit…”
“A bit what?” you ask, furrowing your brows as you beckon him to specify.
“…out of character, I suppose. Have you noticed him moving differently at all?” Miguel crosses his arms over his broad chest and stares you down, waiting for a direct answer.
You think hard for a moment. Sure, he’s been a lot more hands off especially lately. He has lasted way longer than he had before. He keeps his promise of Satoru not touching you, and instead they remain focused on each other, and you’re allowed to mind your own business unless Geto requests for you to try something—gently, actually. Surprisingly gently. He doesn’t seem angry or disappointed when you refuse anything you’re not ready for, and he doesn’t even try to manipulate or charm you into it like he had in the beginning.
“…Actually yes, but I didn’t think too much of it. Just thought it was another way for him to try to get his way with me.”
Miguel draws out a sigh. “Well, there you go. Geto’s a principled guy. He doesn’t shift his gears at the drop of a hat, so either he’s thrown in the towel or something else is going on that even I can’t understand.”
What the literal fuck does that mean?
“That doesn’t…I’m sorry. I don’t think I get it. He’s still…you know. Himself.”
“You sure about that?” Miguel challenges, dark eyes boring into yours, almost like he’s piercing through your very soul. “Because had I not known any better, he gave himself up the minute he let you into his life. Of course I could be wrong.”
You chew on your lower lip, considering.
“What makes you so certain I shouldn’t take this, his motivations, at face value?”
“It’s like I told you, Miss …. He’s a principled guy. The minute he let you into his life is the minute he realized the inevitable.”
Oh whoop dee doo. More cryptic bullshit. Should you pry anymore?
“I see,” you reply, shifting in your spot. “Thank you, Miguel. For everything. I just hope that I can pull this off.”
“The chances of things working out for ya are slim, Miss …, but not zero.”
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Geto seems a little distracted by something as he shuffles around the bedroom, preparing a change of clothes for the night. Perhaps it has something to do with what you overheard in a meeting you aren’t supposed to be around for and had it not been Miguel who caught you eavesdropping you likely would have been reprimanded or punished or something else right now.
But Geto doesn’t appear suspicious of you even now. You remain seated on the bed, completely bare. You feel comforted by the silk sheets against your skin as you clutch it tight toward your body. You slowly breathe out, trying to relax your nerves as much as you can around him.
You jump in your spot as he stands at the foot of the bed before kneeling to you. He’s disrobed, tied his long, luscious locks into that tight bun. He looks shockingly unthreatening, but you know better.
“I fear things may become a bit…messier in these next two or so years,” he sighs, and even you can see something must be weighing on his shoulders—what is his plan with the Night Parade? Does it matter? "I’m not sure how much longer there’s going to be.”
He joins you on the bed, and you shift in your spot, supporting your back against the headboard as you cast him a curious look. He leans into you, resting his head into the crook of your neck, breathing deeply, willing himself to relax. You grunt a bit from the added weight. He may appear skinny but he does maintain quite a bit of muscle and it’s evident in when he carries you.
“I need you,” Geto murmurs into your skin. His arms cage around the dip of your waist and you squeeze your eyes shut, biting back a sigh. God, you’re so fucking tired of this bullshit. No one’s meant to live like this, and he expects you to smile and fucking bear it.
You know, you’ve just gotten used to the idea that Geto isn’t initiating much intimacy anymore. All in an effort for you to warm up to the idea of a future with him and with the twins. But it’s not working for you, and he realizes that maybe his efforts are in vain and it all means he can still take advantage of you. While you have accumulated quite a number of small wins, you know they aren’t going to last forever. They’re fleeting, at best.
“What is it that you need, darling? Use your words.” Gods every time this feels so gross yet you don’t really have a say in that, don’t you? Even if Geto has given you a little more room for some illusion of agency you know not to let it get to your head. You snap off your bra and push out your breasts, presenting one of your stiff nipples to him.
“I need you,” he repeats, practically panting at the sight, running his tongue over his lips a few times.
Geto’s mouth hangs open a bit, his cheeks flushed, he’s been craving this for some time and you can tell. He’s kept his hands off for far longer than before, and maybe with the recent developments that you only inadvertently hear about (and by extension don’t confront Geto over because you learned your lesson the last time), you don’t protest and are a bit more receptive to what he wants. Relationships are give and take… even if he does basically all of the ‘taking’ in this particular brand of it.
His lips latch onto your bud, and you already feel the milk rushing out of your tit and spilling into his waiting tongue. He groans in delight as your sweet milk tickles his taste buds in the best way and one of his hands moves to fondle your unoccupied tit, his finger flicking the other bud to stiffness and pinching it playfully, making you inhale sharply. He laughs at your reaction; the dietary plan he’s put you on isn’t all that restrictive but he has mentioned the particular ingredients like fennel seeds, for instance, aids in producing more milk. The meds further stimulate the production and you’re more than certain some of the formula for all of this may have been imbued with that ‘cursed energy’ you hear and Gojo babble on to with each other on more than one occasion.
The glorbs every time he sucks up your milk like a suction are so audible and fucking disgusting each time. But he wants to be taken care of, that’s fine. You can do that. More like you have to do that. Your fingers scratch at his scalp, and he purrs, seeming to like that. He nips at your nipple in response and you whimper from the sharp contact. His tongue laves around the sensitive skin, and you moan low, not realizing how flushed and debauched you are yourself.
“Sugu…ru…” your voice is a bit strained but he hums in response, playfully flicking the tip of his tongue against the bud he just finished feeding off of before his mouth latched onto the other nipple. He takes both his hands and squeezes the large mounds of squishy flesh and you wriggle beneath the weight of his body. He growls like it’s a warning, sucking harder on your nipple like he needs it to survive and it might not be too far off the mark considering the recent developments. You feel something wet pooling in your groin and you know the sheets must be lightly damp by now and you aren’t ashamed of it anymore, more like on the path to true acceptance. Because it’s not going to be much longer. You’re so certain of it; soon you’re going to be free of this humiliation, and Geto can die alone and pathetic like he’s been destined to.
Your fingers dig tightly into the sheets when Geto sucks a bit harder, his wet muscle flicking off the droplets of milk that have gone astray. His lips trail between your plump mounds, feathery light but worshipping every bit of skin they touch. He stops, nips at your soft skin before lapping his tongue against the sore spot, leaving a few more marks behind. He trails down your stomach, peppering soft kisses there.
“Mamma,” his voice rumbles like a lion’s roar. “You’re so perfect for me.”
“I’m happy I make you happy, darling,” you manage to say, clamping your hand over your mouth to conceal an embarrassed shriek when you feel his tongue twist between your folds. Your body shivers and you feel a little dazed. At this point Geto knows how to make you feel good, knows how to make this not all that awful and you hate that so much. You hate that someone you loathe with everything you have has this kind of power over you.
“You make me feel the most alive I’ve ever felt,” he mumbles as his tongue laves around your sensitive core, the tip flicking against your stiff clit. “I want you to marry me.”
You don’t want to. You don’t, yet you know that even if you do, you still have a shot at getting the fuck out of there. Should you just… give in for now? Let him have another win?
Is it going to make a difference in the end? Even you admit you have your doubts. When Miguel explains the technique he’s used on your insignia, he says that there is still a chance for it to fail. In fact that there’s a higher chance for it to fail than succeed which is why you need to use it wisely. Maybe on another occasion when Geto fucks off with Gojo for a while.
A chance for it to fail doesn’t mean your success rate is completely 0. Just remember that.
“But Suguru…” you start to protest, but he cuts you off by shushing you harshly.
“Marry me and make this blasted world worth living in again,” he interjects while sucking on your folds, and your legs tremble, instinctively tightening around his shoulders. His hands rest against your fleshy thighs, massaging you gently. The wet noises from your pussy seem to echo in the bedroom, and your cheeks dust pink from more embarrassment. Even if you don’t have any potential witnesses this is so humiliating.
“But… Suguru, I…m not… ready…” you babble, you try to play up your role, but a response is a harsh slap on your pussy, making you weep a little. “Please, I just…”
Geto hushes you while twirling his tongue around your stiff clit, before closing his lips around it and sucking hard. Your heart is pounding so hard you feel like it’s going to burst out of your chest. Your body is clammy and sweaty and more heat pools in your groin and stomach.
“You,” he grunts, dragging his tongue down your spongy skin. “Are the only reason for me to tolerate a life like this. So marry me, Mamma.”
No.
He spits onto your pussy and dips his tongue into your hole, his eyes rolling upward to enjoy your debauched state.
“It’s not a request,” he growls low between lapping his tongue up and down your pussy. You feel like you’re floating in air; you hate that he knows how to make your body feel all kinds of euphoria when in reality you feel anything but around him. Your breathing is already labored and ragged, and that self-assured smirk on his face makes your face go red from both fury and arousal.
“Suguru…!” you shout, tightening your legs around his neck.
You see stars behind your eyes when you come, the sensation practically dizzying and you’re glad you’re grounded by the bed. Geto reacts with a string of dark chuckles, so condescending, so maddening. Your eyes peer up to meet his, piercing, twinkling from triumph.
He grins down at you, his hands still ok the fleshy parts of your thighs as he presses affectionate kisses between them. Your brain might short circuit and definitely not for the reasons Geto hopes.
He drags you down until you’re at his level, his body tenting over yours like a shield from the world. Like he wants to protect you from the horrors of it, but doesn’t he understand that all the horrors you have faced at all are all because of him?
He hasn’t even broken a sweat himself, leaning in to press his forehead against yours, syncing his breathing with yours. You try to appreciate the stillness of the moment before he decides you don’t deserve any time to breathe, but he seems pushy about the marriage bit.
His hands on your thighs adjust them so they hook around his hips. You whimper. You know what comes next.
“Marry me,” he murmurs again as his lips ghost over yours. “Please.”
No.
“Okay,” you reply weakly, squeezing your eyes shut as his lips finally meet yours, ravishing them. You don’t really kiss back but your mind drifts off to when you desired being kissed passionately like this, with someone you genuinely love and who genuinely loves you. Maybe Geto believes he’s in love with you, but it can’t be true.
“I love you,” he drawls against your lips, pulling away for a moment to slip on a condom.
Maybe he believes that he loves you. It’s fine if he does but you know you never will. His lips find the crook of your neck as his cock breaches your hole, and your throat tightens as you fight back another whine.
“No,” he commands with a yell, nipping against yours jaw. “Let me hear you, Mamma.”
“Suguru…” you reply in a weaker tone, and he growls in disapproval, sharply bucking his hips. His whole body is coated in sweat and some of his hair clings to his forehead and around his cheeks. Even in this state, he looks something akin to a powerful deity.
“Suguru!” you cry, arching your back into the mattress.
“Better,” he purrs into your skin, before licking along your neck and throat. “I want to hear more of your lovely sounds. We must commemorate today. You’re mine for the rest of our lives.”
No. You aren’t. You never will be.
“Suguru, please, I—!” You’re cut off with a kiss; he refuses to hear another word out of you now (unless it’s a preferred response). His tongue twirls around yours as each languid, smooth roll of his hips slides his length just a bit deeper inside. You feel the tip of his cock brush against it and you whine into his lips, hands sliding down his sides which makes him the one shuddering all over now.
It’s over before you know it; your walls clenching around his length and he keeps pumping inside you without stopping for a breath. His lips remain locked on yours; your fingers sink into his muscled skin and you swear your body might give out but he refuses to let up the erratic pace.
He pulls away just slightly, purring into your mouth.
“You are perfect for me, Mamma.”
You wish you could agree. But you do admit, from your focal point, the way his hair falls over his face and perfectly frames his sharp features makes him look like something from the Heavens. The way his eyes soften looking down at you, and not even with a hint of condescension, it’s… different. Whatever must run through his mind, it can’t be good, and it can’t add up for you. If he’s convinced that he’s in love with you, then you can’t change that. But you can work with it.
He doesn’t pull out for a while, just taking the time to feel you around him. To feel himself inside you. He sighs in content, resting his head between your breasts drenched in his spit, your sweat, and splotched of milk that he gladly licks up without so much as a second thought before lifting himself back up to flash a little smirk at you.
But even his smirk seems off. It doesn’t carry the same energy of someone who knows they have taken you away from everything for their personal amusement.
And you find yourself wondering what Miguel might mean by Geto officially surrendering to his fate.
Your hand reaches up to cup his face, brushing some of his fringes behind his ear. He is a breathtaking man. A devil with the face of an angel—isn’t that why demons make themselves appear angelic? To lure victims into a sense of security?
He leans into your touch, kissing the palm of your hand. His forehead scrunches a bit as he relishes in how your walls still feel like they’re pulsating around his cock, a few aftershocks from your orgasm.
“I need more,” he says, peppering little kisses around your face down to your collarbone.
“Suguru,” you reply, your hand dragging down to the crook of his neck. “Let’s rest for a bit. You seem tired, darling. Something’s troubling you.”
“You don’t have to worry about it,” he replies between more heated kisses. “It’s politics. Between our worlds. It doesn’t concern you.”
“You keep saying things like that, darling, but don’t you just…”
“Just what?” he beckons.
“Don’t you need someone to actually…talk to?” You can’t believe what you’re doing here; didn’t you just say you learned your lesson the last time you tried to meddle into business that had nothing to do with you?
His eyebrows furrow at that. Obviously you’re in no position to ask such things of him. But it’s more of a push in the right direction, a suggestion. Nothing more. He doesn’t have to agree with you.
“Won’t change anything,” he says after a period of reflection. “I appreciate that you’re trying, my love. But your role is with the twins and I, separate from all of that. You’re with your family here.”
You will NEVER be family.
Delightfully oblivious as ever to your own wars clashing in your mind, Geto kisses your lips again. Slow. Gentle. Passionate. Like he really believes he loves you.
The kiss grows more heated again, and sometime during he’s finally pulled out, he didn’t even come, his cock still painfully hard and standing erect wrapped in that condom. This is the first time he hasn’t chased after his own pleasure once he took care of you. This time he seems fully devoted to pleasing you, making you satisfied.
He bites, nibbles your lips and moans like an actor in a lewd video into your lips that have become cracked and red and swollen from his treatment.
“Suguru…?” you manage to utter between each kiss, each one more desperate than the last.
Geto moans your name, low and needy.
“I love you,” he confesses again, “I love you.”
You find yourself unable to say it back, but you don’t get a chance to say a word anyway; his lips meet yours again. You find yourself trying to return it, at least be a little responsive or reactive, try to keep him unsuspecting for a while longer. Even if you know he carries all of his monsters or apparitions with him whenever he’s gone for longer stretches of time, you can’t help but fear the slightest chance that he has someone—or something—keeping an eye on you even if Miguel or Suda insist that they would have known all along.
You can’t afford anymore fuck-ups. You can’t fuck up your chances again.
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Finding time to spare for Satoru has become increasingly more difficult. With Yaga practically on Satoru’s ass 24/7, he can’t exactly make quick pit stops to the temple anymore. They have had to find compromise somewhere, so Geto has been back to visiting his penthouse.
Even if logically nothing can be done should Gojo not follow direct orders from the higher-ups, he still can’t afford more penalties, and Geto can’t afford to raise any more suspicion from the long stretches of time he’s been hiding away from his own duties. Just for a few moments with the love of his life.
“Are you sure about this?” Gojo asks, intertwining his fingers with Geto’s as they lounge in his king sized mattress. Sure, Geto may have excused these longer absences of his own as part of his duty but it’s in reality to stay a while longer with Gojo. Gojo’s the one feeling like a burden now, but Geto won’t have it much like Gojo won’t have it every time Geto talks down on himself and how much he means to Gojo. Can’t go around being a hypocrite, right? “It’s a big step, you know! I’ve always expected you’re going to marry someone as sexy and perfect as her. I mean, I was hoping it’d be me but I understand we can’t necessarily given the situation here.”
Geto rolls his eyes a little in jest at that last comment. Of course, in Geto’s world, they’re already married, practically inseparable, but Gojo has his world, and Geto has his. And they have to act as if they don’t interlock their bodies like rabid, mating animals between everything that’s going on.
“Yes,” Geto answers, kissing into his shoulder. Gojo sighs dreamily at the contact, snuggling closer to his lover. “I’m marrying her.”
“That’s great,” Gojo replies, but there’s an underlying hint of longing in his tone. “But how does she feel?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Geto quips as he trails more kisses along Gojo’s exposed, sweaty skin, humming at the salty tang hitting his tongue. “Isn’t this what you wanted for me, Gojo? Her being here gives me more of a reason to tolerate a life like this.”
Gojo can’t help but scoff at that sentiment, eyes flickering with something akin to envy.
“So what, I’m not enough?” he mutters like a stubborn child. Geto rolls his eyes again.
“Baby, look at me—“ Gojo does, “—Of course you are,” Geto counters, pecking his lips for good measure. “You know what I mean.”
“I know,” Gojo replies with a longing sigh. He accepts another kiss, unable to hide the smile playing on his lips in spite of how much he feels like he’s going to miss out. “I’m sorry.”
Geto hums in response before capturing his lips again in another fervent kiss, a hand snaking down his chest to draw lazy patterns across one of his pecs. Gojo sighs again in that dreamy way, completely putty in Geto’s hands and he’s unashamed of it whatsoever. Geto is the love of his life, his one and only, and Geto feels the same except now there’s someone else thrown in the mix that they can both have fun with too.
“You’re always my forever, Satoru,” Geto swears in a whisper, his tone tender—a side to him only Gojo gets to witness. “We just have other matters to sort through now.”
Geto playfully pinches one of Gojo’s nipples and that draws a gasp from his lips, and Geto laughs heartedly, dragging his tongue along the defined lines of his muscles. Gojo brushes his long, slender fingers through Geto’s endless locks of soft hair, and Geto purrs in approval.
“I do really miss Princess, you know…” Gojo points out with that grin widening and brightening his previously sullen and worn features.
“Then come by sometime before the ceremony,” Geto suggests, “We must commemorate the occasion, don’t you think?” Geto insists with a knowing expression as he rests his chin on Gojo’s strong chest.
“Of course,” Gojo answers, that grin still plastered on his face like it’s been sewn on there. A little glint in his azure eyes suggests something a bit… worse, like there’s something else he’s plotting.
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While Geto’s still off visiting Satoru, you’re still left with little time to plot your escape plan when you have to attend to the twins the majority of his absence. Both Miguel and Suda have found ways to pull you aside to give you a pointer or two but they know they don’t want to make things more suspicious to the twins but they seem so lost in their own universes you doubt it’s going to be much of an issue.
But a part of you also knows not to underestimate anything. A part of you still tries to amplify your perception of curse spirits but you don’t detect any around you at this point in time. No matter what you’re doing, whether you’re accompanying the girls during their video game sessions or when they want to opt for something else. Or when they want to go out and about—not without one of Geto’s loyal goons keeping a close eye on you while you take the twins out of the temple. You do try to see if you can pick up any during any outings with them but you have failed each time. The most you can make out are outlines of spirits, but Nanako and Mimiko has exorcised them before you can react.
That’s where you learn a bit more about what they can do. Mimiko can manipulate with that doll she carries around with her everywhere. Meanwhile, you understand why Nanako is attached to a camera—she can manipulate curse spirits through photos. You don’t understand what any of this means, but it’s interesting to watch. Even if you don’t understand the full extent of what happens in front of you just yet.
Miguel has mentioned during one of his limited coaching sessions that the first step to being a sorcerer at all is being able to perceive curses. Yet you have failed spectacularly at that part. It’s true that kids and animals are the most sensitive to their presence, and you might have recalled sensing spirits like the Hat Man or the Smiling Man from popular lore.
“All curses are human-born,” he remember him explaining to you one day. “They develop through the negative emotions of humans. That’s why we often hear that most of our struggles are self-made. It’s true, isn’t it, given what we h ave to deal with, huh? Being a sorcerer is a thankless job and often seen as a bunch of hooey to those monkeys. Let’s just say it’s worse in the more rural areas, where people like me and the twins came from.”
“I can only imagine,” you find yourself mumbling in response. “This must take a lot of self-control to master.”
“That’s one way to look at it,” he concedes with a nod. “But manipulating and controlling your cursed energy—something everyone has, sorcerer or not—takes mostly a deeply innate ability. Some people are just gifted at that stuff. Like Geto or that Satoru Gojo punk. They’re the best a small world like ours has to offer.”
“So I’ve been told,” you mutter to yourself.
Miguel rests a reassuring hand on your shoulder, flashing you a smirk. “Listen, Miss …. Just remember you do have backup in case things go awry. I can’t guarantee we won’t get caught, but don’t worry about us when that happens. You need to get out of here. You don’t belong here.”
You can’t help smiling.
“I’m so glad you’re deciding to help me get the hell out of here,” you breathe, “I just can’t help but wonder why.”
Miguel gives you a non-committal hum.
“You just seem like someone worth sticking out for,” he replies, “But honestly, I don’t really have a good reason behind it. Seeing someone like you, someone who was probably minding your own damn business before all of this, going through what you are… just doesn’t sit right with me. I’m not claiming to be good, like I told you before.”
“Thank you,” you tell him again. He returns your smile.
“No need, Miss ….”
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“Princess!” Gojo exclaims with glee riddled all over his expression as he climbs down the stairs to greet you. “Congratulations on your engagement. It was going to happen sooner or later.”
He strides up to you, cups your face and greets you with a long smack of his lips against yours before approaching Geto and doing the same. Geto secures a possessive hold around Gojo’s hips so he doesn’t pull entirely away from him and it doesn’t seem like Gojo’s protesting, anyway. When Geto twists his neck to face you, your face falls upon realization. You know that look.
That can’t be good news for you, but when do you ever have good options between them?
“My love, can you make this final exception for the sake of celebration? Satoru does want to wish us well, you know,” Geto scoots you closer into him, his lips against your ear. “After that, he doesn’t have to touch you again, but you can do whatever you like.”
“But Suguru,” you begin, before eyeballing Satoru who’s waiting beside you with eagerness evident in those sharp oceanic eyes, deeply unsettling the longer you stare at them. Something about Satoru aside from the obvious seems… off-putting. You can’t place what it is, but you know you have heard many of Geto’s goons refer to him as some kind of God in the world of jujutsu sorcery. But he’s far from a merciful God, or even a good one.
But you do remember what Miguel says about that—that they’re sorcerers, not saints. They don’t claim to be good or right in whatever they do, and this holds true for both Geto and Gojo.
Gojo bounces his leg out of impatience, meeting your gaze full of hope and passion. He has missed having the agency to touch you, to do as he pleases…
“Please, my love,” Suguru pleads with a little growl, his hand reaching out to you and brushing his finger along the chain around your neck, jingling a bit as it moves. “Just this once. I won’t request this again another time.”
You don’t believe that in the slightest, yet you know you might not be here for much longer than you have to be. You cling onto that hope that whatever you plot with Miguel and Suda that it will work even if those chances are slim.
He promised it’s not zero, you remind yourself, that’s enough for me.
“Okay,” you concede with a weak tone, unable to wholly say no this time. If Geto swears this will be the only time before the marriage ceremony.
Tweedledum’s eyes twinkle from sheer happiness, and Geto loosens his grip on him so he has full autonomy to pounce on you and pin you to the large couch like an untamed animal. Geto laughs in dark amusement as Gojo smothers your face and neck in slobbery, sloppy kisses before he locks his body around yours; your chests pressing so tightly together you fear you might suffocate from the proximity.
“Fuck, gorgeous, I missed you, missed you so much,” Gojo babbles between playful and messy little swirls of his tongue against your jaw. You can’t even struggle or squirm; the added weight too much, keeping you secured in place and a gasp leaves your lips as he digs one of his knees into your crotch, forcing your legs apart. He digs into your crotch and grinds against your sensitive core, which you already feel some slick building and dampening your panties and his pants.
“Looks like she missed you, Satoru,” you hear Geto purr from somewhere above you but you can’t even adjust in your place. You hear Gojo groan as Geto yanks his pants and boxers down, leaning into to smack his lips against his ass and perineum.
Gojo lets out a shuddering gasp, burying his head into the crook of your neck as he whimpers and wriggles closer to the sensation.
“God you’re so fucking mean,” Gojo bites out, pathetically nibbling at your ear to try to ground himself and you hate that you’re immobile practically.
“Please… can’t breathe,” you gasp out and Gojo’s lips quirk upward as he adjusts himself ever so slightly, but still rubbing his knee into your damp crotch.
“Sorry about that, Princess. Better?” he purrs into your ear before nibbling on the lobe. You whimper in response. A slight improvement sure but you’re still immobile, just how they like it.
Gojo’s eyes dilate as Geto slathers his tongue around the rim of his tight hole, and he moans low into your skin.
“Fuck, fuck, baby, stop…” he begs through a lewd moan. “Being so fucking mean…”
Geto’s hand comes down hard on his ass.
“Do you mean that, Satoru?” he teases, the tip of his tongue catching into his hole and making Gojo squirm under the slightest touch or sensation
“N-no,” he groans, inching his ass closer and sticking it more upward like the obedient dog Geto’s trained him to be. You keep your eyes shut, unable to witness this like you have countless times before. Gojo seeks reprieve from the torment by tormenting you; his knee still grinding into your crotch and making you whimper and whine and weep. His lips leaving behind little marks that tingle in their wake.
“Sssatoru…” you slur, your eyes rolling back into your skull as your orgasm sends shockwaves through your body. He grunts in approval, plunging his slobbery lips onto yours and rolling his tongue against your shier one. He grabs one of your hands and guides it to his cock, veiny and swollen and leaking. You wrap your hand around his size and brush your thumb against his slit and he sucks in a shaky breath, approving and needy. He’s getting worked on both ends and he adjusts his position for you to have some wiggle room and you can focus on getting him off while Geto is still busy eating him out. His expert tongue laves between his perineum and his asshole and somehow Gojo can still maintain some semblance of composure.
“Don’t worry, Princess,” he strains his voice through the soft moans as he fucks his cock into your soft palm. “I got you. You have nothing to worry—fuck—about.”
He peels your panties aside and dips his finger between your damp, slick folds and you utter a little whimper.
“Please, I can’t,” you plea, but Gojo only tuts at you as he draws lazy circles around your stiff little bundle of nerves.
“Yes you can,” he snarls, grunting as his own orgasm rushes through his body but somehow he can remain composed while he’s tending to you. Geto shuffles around in the back, before repositioning Gojo and you by extension. Gojo sits up and rests you on one of his legs as he continues to play with your soaked pussy.
Your hand doesn’t dare to leave his cock, knowing you could be punished if you did, even if Geto swears not to bring harm to you, it doesn’t mean he can’t find other ways to get his point across. Geto watches from beside the two of you as you fondle each other. Your body is coiling from the intense heat, and you find yourself bucking into Gojo’s skillful, eager fingers.
“That’s it,” Gojo praises, kissing your cheek. “I’m not so bad, right Princess?”
When you don’t answer, you hear Geto click his tongue in disapproval. Dread fills your chest at that.
“He asked you a question, love.”
“You m-make me f-feel good, Satoru,” you stammer and Gojo coos at you as he slips another finger inside you.
“Goooood. That’s all I want, Princess. I just want to make you feel good, be a part of your life. S’not fair that I don’t get my share these days but bearing the responsibility of being the strongest means I can’t be here as much as I’d like to be. Can you forgive me for that, Princess?”
He twists his fingers inside you and brushes against your spot, making you thrash in his hold. Your grasp on his shaft tightens and he sighs in delight.
“I f-forgive you b-but w-we miss you. S-satoru…!” Your free hand clutches at his wrist as you feel another wave of an orgasm coming on and you can’t take it; you splatter all over his hand and some of your arousal splashes onto the ground.
“Gorgeous,” Gojo murmurs, his tone reverent, “So fucking gorgeous on my fingers. Now you can take my cock. It’s missed your perfect little pussy.”
Geto chuckles as he tears open the condom and helps Gojo slip it onto his strained, throbbing cock. He presses a soft kiss to the tip before Gojo hoists you up like you weigh a bucket of feathers and sinks you onto his cock until just the head enters your tight, soppy heat. Your juices make it easy to slide you all the way down to the base of his cock, and Geto growls as he watches the scene unfold intently; his hand resting on his lap as his own cock strains against his slacks.
“Fuck, so fucking tight. Guess even Gsto’s cock doesn’t stretch you out for long, huh? Fucking perfect for me,” Gojo babbles as he bounces you on his cock like you’re his cheap whore and it feels so fucking humiliating yet you’re moaning because you can’t deny how good it feels. Gojo’s size doesn’t make you as uncomfortable as Geto’s does; he’s much easier to take.
“Hear that, Suguru? Man, she fucking loves me!” Gojo cackles as he bucks his hips in time with moving you up and down.
“Of course she does,” Geto replies as he pets Gojo’s hair, kissing his temple. Geto rests his free hand on your clit and rubs hard on it, making you shriek from the overstimulation. The sounds of Gojo’s cock slapping against you and the lewd squelching from your juices reverberates through your ears like a loud bass and fuck you hate it so much. You hate that it’s beginning to feel kind of good.
“You should see how fucking good you look right now,” Gojo rambles on again as he whips out his smart phone, switching on the selfie camera and recording you and him.
You hate seeing yourself. You hate what you see right in front of you—Gojo’s wide, manic grin as he oogles his long, veiny cock disappearing into your dripping cunt and your face. Your fucking face is what’s humiliating. Your complexion is reddened; your face and neck is coated in sweat. You appear limp and completely out of it—like you’ve given up though that can’t be further from the truth. You have to sell the naive damsel role because that’s what they both like, making them think they have full power over you but someday soon you’re going to stick both your fucking middle fingers at them when you’re riding off into sunset toward sweet freedom.
He stops the short recording and sets his phone aside; his tongue sticking out at the corner of his mouth as he fucks deeper inside of you, groaning as your walls clench and flutter around his length.
“You’re killing me, Satoru,” Geto laments, frowning as he palms himself through his slacks before finally pulling himself out. “Hurry before I stick my cock inside with yours.”
Your eyes widen at that in sheer horror as your head turns to Geto’s direction. His expression makes your heart sink; he’s not interested in sparing you a little dignity and really plans on bullying his cock alongside Gojo’s because he’s growing impatient.
“No no no, please, Sugu… I can’t!” you shout, shaking your head frantically as tears well in the corners of your eyes.
Geto’s frown deepens, his forehead wrinkling as he caresses your cheek with his knuckles.
“You can take it, my love,” he coos as he fists his cock into full hardness. You bite back a choked sob.
“No, no, Suguru…please it’ll be too much..!”
Tears stream down your cheeks as you protest but Geto disregards everything you say as he wraps his cock.
“Damn, Suguru,” Gojo cackles, “Can’t let it wait, huh?”
“Shut up,” he hisses as he pushes the tip of his cock into your pussy, and Gojo moans feeling Geto’s dick rub against his. The stretch absolutely fucking hurts and you weep, babbling endlessly and begging him not to go further but he doesn’t listen to you this time. Maybe he’s getting tired of being kind to you.
He manages to fit a good portion of his size inside and you’re sobbing so hard, your body is on fire and not in a pleasant way. They fill you up and stretch you out and they’re cackling together like the psychopaths they are.
“Fuuuuuuck,” Gojo growls, kissing the top of your head as he spears his cock into you with deadly precision. “Fuck fuck fuck you’re so much tighter. ‘M gonna come.”
And he follows through on his word, fucking into you with one last hard thrust before he gives you a little mercy and slides his cock out so Geto can have his way with you.
Gojo trails kisses all over your tear-strained face and ignores your continued weeping and begging to stop.
“Shhhh, we’re just getting started, Princess. We have so much making up to do before you and Suguru tie the knot, yeah? Just relax and let us take care of you. That’s all we want.”
Such fucking lies.
Geto growls as now he’s the sole cock drilling into you, and you’re stretched nice around his size. Your walls are still fluttering and squeezing around him and trying to suck him inside deeper and Geto looks down at you with a feral gaze, something you haven’t seen since the day he took you.
“Too bad I don’t have the intention of fucking a few babies into you,” he chuckles, reaching out to trace the gold chain jingling around your neck with each jerk of his hips. He tugs a bit on the chain and you avert your gaze. He frowns at that, tugging again and making you look at him. “You know I can’t afford to bring more monkeys into this world, but the idea of coming inside you is… enthralling. Perhaps we can save that for when I fuck your perfect ass.”
“Damn,” Gojo whistles, his arms circling your waist. “That’s going to be so hot. Fuck her full of cum and then have her walk around like that all day. Perfect way to ensure she belongs to you, yeah Suguru?”
“Exactly,” he laughs in response, a wicked smirk on his face. His hand comes down to smack your pussy and you scream, but Gojo secures his hold on you.
“Shhhh, Princess. Don’t squirm too much or he could hurt you. He doesn’t want to, you know?” he whispers in a mock soothing tone.
“Please, Sugu…. It already hurts,” you cry, sniffling, your eyes bloodshot and puffy from all of the tears you’ve shed.
“You can take it,” he grunts with another sharp slap on your quivering cunt. “You can do it, my love. Come for me.”
In spite of everything the world spins as you come down hard on his cock, arousal gushing out and it’s not the prettiest sight to you but it must make Geto and Gojo as gleeful as children on a Christmas morning.
“Sugu…” you murmur, body going a bit limp but you remember Gojo saying they barely begun. This is so tiring. But Geto pulls out with a soft moan, but his cock is still hard. Needing.
“What is it, my love?” he asks in that affectionate tome he’s been using so much more lately. Without the underlying condensation, just pure love, like he really believes he does love you.
As if someone who loves you would do things like this without so much as a shred of remorse. Gojo is silent behind you, sitting back and enjoying the scene unfold.
“I-I can’t,” you stammer, “Please, I can’t…”
“Yes, you can,” he urges a bit more gently. “This is a celebration, my dear. Lean into it.”
He kneels on one knee until his mouth is level with your cunt, his eyes sparkling with need and lust.
“We just want to take care of you,” he goes on, pressing a kiss to your spent cunt. “That’s all we want.”
You shake your head again.
“Can’t,” you keep pleading, “I can’t, I can’t…”
“Sure you can, Princess,” Gojo murmurs, “You have to. It’s the least you can do. After all, Suguru’s risking a lot just to be with you.”
Huh?
“I’m risking everything just to be here too,” Gojo continues while Geto pushes his tongue into your cunt. “So do this for us, baby. Because once Suguru married you, it’ll make things easier for us to be together. You’ll understand soon, I promise.”
“B-but…”
Gojo shushes you again before silencing you completely with a heated kiss. You can’t put up much of a fight anymore, in that moment.
This will be the only time you surrender to this battle, but not the fucking war.
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sparklingcurepeace · 22 hours ago
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First and foremost I want to start off by saying that I had planned to respond to this all on the day your reply was sent to me. My thoughts were already spiraling with what to say, both out of eagerness and fear, because I didn't expect you to ask me a question directly—So I hope I can clear up a little bit as to why I think anime appeals to such a broad audience, including myself.
Whether or not it will make sense to you or be satisfactory, I can not guarantee.
Hopefully this doesn't become crazy long or sound like a ramble, but I can't guarantee that either. 😅
I am by no means an expert on Japanese culture. Heck, I am no expert on western culture and I live in America. So when you say anime isn't really your thing, mainly because you don't understand the culture of it, I think that's actually pretty valid. Maybe to others who have read or will read this post, your words came off strong, but at least you were honest. Much of what you said, believe it or not, is something I think plenty of people can agree with to some extent; whether you're an anime fan or not.
I do think it's possible that we as people have the capability to understand or learn to understand things that aren't necessarily from our culture. After all the world is so vast and there is beauty in our differences, and we our often encouraged to embrace what sets us apart. Of course we, at our core, are made of the same stuff, so certain ideals, values and messages might shine through no matter where they come from. I think anime can address grander themes like love, death, faith, ect. and even point to truth, but it might either be one facet of the story or you have to dig a little deeper to find it. I've seen people attempt this, so i think it's possible. It just requires some work. At least that's how I see it.
Anime is a unique medium to navigate because it 100% is coming from a country that is different from my own in many ways, but I mean this more so in the small intricacies. Again, I am no expert, so what I say might be a bit inaccurate or plain wrong, but from what I've come know, anime is used as a means to counter things in Japanese society. An example of what I mean would be how many of the characters in anime, especially school students, have hair and eye colors that aren't natural. The designs in general can be pretty out there, sometimes looking wacky or just over the top, it could never be replicated in real life unless it's cosplay (probably). You're might be wondering why I mentioned that, since anything animated could do this as well, and you are right. It's not inherently special.
With anime though, I think it has more to do with the fact that in Japan, there is a tendency to keep things uniform. To keep things orderly, rather than drawing attention to yourself, dressing or acting in ways that are deemed inappropriate or out of the norm. Anime is not a replica of the day to day Japanese society, unless a particular show is crafted that way, so even some of the things going on in a story could even be seen as odd or uncommon or dare I assume, scandalous. Anime can be criticized by the very people responsible for it, so even when they KNOW the culture, they as the audience can react to it in many ways. I am sure someone else could explain this much better, perhaps understand it much better, because I typed all this and I am beginning to wonder if I lost you and I haven't even addressed some of your comments directly. I apologize.
All of that above is basically to say, YES, the culture is tricky and unless you're willing to try and see why things are the way they are when consuming something as popular as anime, I don't think you'll have the best experience. In my case, I will admit, I had a somewhat complicated relationship with anime. I still do but not for the same reasons as back then, when I was still a child and witnessing all this for the first time. I was familiar with shows such as Pokémon and (English) Yu-gi-oh! which are rather tame in comparison to...so many other anime out there. But I wasn't a fan, yet. I hadn't really dove into the anime pool, much less felt like exploring it, due to my upbringing and general reluctance to watch anything because the way anime looked was so different than what I was used to.
Until one day, finally, an uncle got me to watch a show that is generally geared towards children. I liked it, I liked the story and while the art wasn't as weird as it could have been, it took some getting used to Then he thought I could handle one that was for an older audience but not terribly grotesque or sexual or dark. It did have violence, although I think it was mostly justified given the subject matter. Shameless advertising, I think you might want to give this one a try, it's called Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. I think there's plenty of lessons to pull from it, it isn't purely made to entertain just because.
I'm getting off track, so let's try to get back to your grievances.
So, I don't understand it very well. I don't understand why everyone's screaming. I absolutely don't understand the character designs. I don't understand the use of blushing. I don't understand the humor or the drama. I don't understand why one interaction can take several "episodes," and the dialogue is unrealistic the entire time. People don't talk like that. And it would be one thing if people talked in an unrelatable cadence once, as part of the "style" of a film or show, but it's across the board for every anime I've seen.
I think I and many other self proclaimed anime fans, got into it on the basis of the art style drawing us in. Yeah it was weird and new but it could also be fun and incredibly pretty. Also, there's real dedication and skill put into many anime I've seen, at least when you're looking at the scenery, food, and non-human related imagery. So if you're an art person or just like looking at things that are well made, that could certainly explain part of the reason why people watch anime, whether or not the designs make sense. I suppose that is also aesthetic choice as well.
So you could say, before we (The fans) understood anything about the culture, or why things were being done in the story, we just accepted it as different and went along with whatever was going on, for, entertainment and fascination. That includes things like the screaming, the humor, and even those strange speech patterns.
It definitely catches people by surprise. Even to this very day, while I am aware of these different things, I can still get annoyed or stunned by some of the anime antics. I think all the screaming has to do in part with anime being understood as a medium where you are expected to exaggerate and use excessive emotion to sell whatever you're going for. It doesn't have to be anything related to love, a battle or something super sad—That's just the acting. In comedies they can really go over the top, and that can be done as a way to sort of poke fun at anime as a whole. Then of course, if I went deeper, I might find that this ties back to ancient forms of storyteling and playacting. I can't say for certain if screaming was ALWAYS apart of how Japanese performed, however, I wouldn't be shocked by it. Same can be said about drama. Every culture has their own form of drama, each distinct in how they demonstrate it, and Japan is the same way. Their show of humor is probably a mix of doing things because its fiction , "anything goes in fiction" + certain tropes being tied once more to what they've gotten from their storytelling tradtions. Or maybe the tropes aren't even that old, they were just created first in japan and have been utilized since. Like when characters fall on their face and their legs stick up when somebody says something stupid.
As for dialogue, I can't quite figure it out myself. I assume the japanese speak more formally than your average person ? Although there is no way of actually knowing that. In anime especially, I notice they can speak in a way that just feels...weirdly poetic. Then you also have those weird breaks or pauses in sentences. Which does work if the situation calls for it, I think, but even I find myself saying something like "please just talk normal, you're doing too much 😭," every now and then. Also let me tell you, I think everyone at some point has COMPLAINED about anime taking multiple episodes to resolve an issue or reach a much needed discussion, especially when discussing romance anime. I've chopped it up to being for these reasons:
It heightens the drama and makes the audience anxious to see what happens. It's trapping you to stay for the rest of the show.
It's part of the plot, somehow. This scene can't happen until something else happens and that can drag, whether intentional or not.
I suppose you could say that there are situations in real life that would play out like this. A person who is shy or hates confrontation just keeps things to themselves, just doesn't bother to address the issue at hand and the more they leave it alone, the worse it becomes. Anime just makes a bigger hassel.
Are these all possible reasons? I doubt it. Still, I think they apply the most.
Now I'm going to merge what you said at the beginning and what you said near the middle.
Otherwise, why is there so much gratuitous cleavage? Whats with the emphasis on violence violence violence? Plus cursing? Why are all of the "attractive" characters a little-girl stereotype or a sexy femme fatale stereotype? And what's with the feminine looking dude characters? Why does one fight take six episodes? Why does one "romance" last an entire show but consist of nothing except gasps and blushes?
You sure picked some hot button topics to ask about if I can dare say so. I call them hot button topics because whether you're a long time anime fan or short time fan or just not a fan at all, many of these things have been discussed before...usually in great detail lol. Especially the part about women, there's quite a few video essays and conversations surrounding these seemingly common yet unnecessary things. There's all the feminism and patriachy stuff and I am not dismissing it or saying it isn't important to consider, but some of that I just...don't think matters to some degree. If I were honest, a lof of those big cleavages and sexy stereotypes exist because the audience (mainly men) want it and like it, and it pertains to a fantasy. Same with the little girl looking characters that can be super old. I AM NOT SAYING IT'S A GOOD FANTASY. But it exists. Additonally, however, it comes down to art style and aesthetic. Anime can do whatever it wants, thus you can design the characters however, based on what's popular, based on what you (the creator) wants and likes. Or they are filling some sort of quota, you gotta have the comedic relief character, the moody character, the pretty girl, whatever. The feminine looking dude thing is its own archetype and has its own history, one I couldn't really explain because I am not well versed. But that too, is catering to someone out there.
In regards to how blushing is used...my dear, I think that is, once more, an art choice. Many people know anime by its cutesy big eyed designs. Usually, you'll find a character blushing too. Typically it is used to show embarassment, shame or excitment. It probably adds to that cutesy factor, as well as exaggerating that emotion being expressed. Then there are moments of crying, or just other occasions when blushes are used, and I gather that is done because in real life, people can get super worked up. They can get all hot and red in the face or they get so flustered their cheeks show it. Still, this is not wholly accurate and thus, it's just artistic choice to add blush for a specfic moment or just cause. The gasping...yeah I don't quite like that either. Or excessive violence or cursing.
Depending on WHAT the story is, I'd argue you might need that violence. Could be about war, could be about surviving from a great evil, essentially anything that involves fighting. But even I have to admit, it can go...overboard. Or feel like whoever was making that fight scene was having a little too much fun yk? If you have certain kinds of characters who are just rough and angry or have gone through something traumatic, this may result in a potty mouth. On average I am surrounded by adults and teens who just make a habit of swearing, or its just part of the vocabulary. Anime is no different it seems.
Just cutting in to say that, whoever recommended you watch Demon Slayer and Naruto or whatever else- they showed you the "mainstream" shows. Nothing inherently wrong with that but anime is filled with all sorts of shows and some can go outside the norm of what is popular. Maybe you were shown the wrong stuff or it wouldn't have mattered either way because it wouldn't have what you're seeking. Unfortunately.
You aren't wrong in saying some values that are perceivable in the animes you've seen might be ones that the West is adopting and trying to instill in us. I wish you had been a little more specific in what values you mean so I could have a better handling on whether I agree with you fully or not. Even so, I think I have an idea of what you're saying. Not everything I see in anime I agree with or think matters or should be something to encourage, and that isn't me trying to be disrespectful to the culture but it's true.
I also find it odd that so many young Western men are drawn to anime. I don't think it's an awesome thing. All the anime I've ever seen: Demonslayer, Naruto, etc. doesn't have anything particularly good for them in it. There's a ton of violence, of egos getting slung around, yelling, and terribly long gratuitous brain-numbing pacing, along with sensual gasping and drama-for-drama's sake. And I know my young male friends are no more Japanese or understanding of Japanese culture than I am. So what are they getting out of it? They can't ever tell me.
This is perhaps the hardest part of the replies because I know what I think and have come to know about this appeal young men have for anime and it isn't all...good. Neverthless I will try to be fair to them. In the first place, I think men have a tendancy to like most things with battles and cool powers and just general rough housing. So if anime has that, plus a story compelling enough to draw them in, understanding the culture doesn't matter so much as does watching the characters kick some butt on screen. That just sounds like watching something for entertainment, it just gets a rise out of you and I think that's what it usually is. I think the closet equavilant that comes to mind is superhero and action films. Is the average guy watching for a message or because it's exciting and bloody and there's a ton of bodies running around?
another thing...people like to see themselves in the characters. This happens me sometimes as well. Maybe whoever is on screen right then and there, is seen as relatable to the young man watching and he starts to imagine himself like the character or indentify with certain traits, certain situations. I am not saying that this is always good or even healthy, mind you, but it happens. And I think whoever is making the anime(s) is aware of that. This can be said for girls too but that is a different discussion.
Many men are watching anime for the eye candy too, that being, the female characters. I don't think I need to explain to you what can be done and thought about when characters are made to invoke sexual desires. It can be explicit or implicit but it's still there and that comes with its own issues. I'm not trying to sound like some kind of prude or judge, I've dealt with my fair share of strong feelings with characters, but I wouldn't call it a good thing. Much of what was said in this response to my ask, I've been convicted about because I know that deep down, not all of it is really doing anything for the audience, we're just here to have a good time with whatever is on screen. It can feel very shallow.
I could probably say more but i think this is enough. I hope this makes sense, I jumped around a lot, not sure if I answered every question the best I could. I wanted to try and provide context. This conversation hits home in some ways so that is also why this reply is long. My brain is fried though and this took forever to type, but just know, if you don't think you could ever like anime, that's fine. It an acquired taste. You might be better off away from it.
Hi, not to sound like a creep but I was trying to find this one reply to ask about the Chosen series because I remembered something and I wanted to see if you're the one who said it. But then I couldn't find it. Stumbled into this one post where you said your least favorite medium is anime and I'm quite curious about that now. I don't generally have an issue when people say they don't like anime, as a whole, but I try to understand why. Of course even if you just said "I just don't like it" then I could respect that too, since I can not push it.
I think it's like a language I don't speak. Even the English-dubbed versions. In anime, it's not made by people in my culture, for my culture. So, I don't understand it very well. I don't understand why everyone's screaming. I absolutely don't understand the character designs. I don't understand the use of blushing. I don't understand the humor or the drama. I don't understand why one interaction can take several "episodes," and the dialogue is unrealistic the entire time. People don't talk like that. And it would be one thing if people talked in an unrelatable cadence once, as part of the "style" of a film or show, but it's across the board for every anime I've seen.
There's nothing wrong with that, per se. Like I said, it's just made for a different culture, one I'm not in. And that's fine. Could I learn it? Could I engross myself in it until I feel what the media is trying to make me feel and get what they're trying to say?
Yeah. I could.
But most often, it doesn't feel worth it. It doesn't feel like the anime I've seen is really trying to point to a significant truth or remind people of goodness and beauty, so much as it is pointless entertainment.
Otherwise, why is there so much gratuitous cleavage? Whats with the emphasis on violence violence violence? Plus cursing? Why are all of the "attractive" characters a little-girl stereotype or a sexy femme fatale stereotype? And what's with the feminine looking dude characters? Why does one fight take six episodes? Why does one "romance" last an entire show but consist of nothing except gasps and blushes?
Not a fan.
I have seen one or two anime that clearly have a point. They're Studio Ghibli, though.
And again, I'm not saying anime's have no point in general. I'm saying I'd have to understand the culture to get the point, but the culture itself seems to be based around values that I don't find valuable. And a lot of those "values" if I'm reading them right are the ones our Western culture is starting to push down throats more and more, and I don't like those, either, so there you go.
I also find it odd that so many young Western men are drawn to anime. I don't think it's an awesome thing. All the anime I've ever seen: Demonslayer, Naruto, etc. doesn't have anything particularly good for them in it. There's a ton of violence, of egos getting slung around, yelling, and terribly long gratuitous brain-numbing pacing, along with sensual gasping and drama-for-drama's sake. And I know my young male friends are no more Japanese or understanding of Japanese culture than I am. So what are they getting out of it? They can't ever tell me.
Maybe you can?
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vintagerobin · 3 months ago
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It's really interesting to me how these two different comics are using the safety net allegory in very different ways. Mutual between Dick and Bruce, one-sided between Bruce and Damian. It got me thinking about a couple of different things.
Firstly... I really think one-sided caregiving is Bruce's default in his relationships with everyone, including adults. Giving and supporting isn't that hard for him, he tends to assume that he should be the one to do that - it's admitting that he also has emotional needs and asking for ANY kind of help from another person and making himself vulnerable in that way that he struggles with the most. That's where his relationships fall apart more often than not. So it's always seemed a little odd to me that he would suddenly go counter to that with the Robins and seek that support from them. Looking at these panels though... he obviously ISN'T doing that. In either case.
Bringing me to the second point - in the top panels, Dick didn't learn to take care of adults from Bruce. He had already learned it from his parents before he ever met Bruce, an issue he gained from being a child star, not from being Robin.
But Dick insists on it with Bruce. He pushes past the boundaries Bruce attempts to set and encourages Bruce to rely on him as an equal, even becomes angry with him if Bruce doesn't give in.
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...all of which is leading me to think that Bruce learned this dynamic from Dick, and has slowly been unlearning it until you get to Damian where it's mostly absent again. It makes a weird sort of sense if you consider that they're really not that far apart in age, only a bit further apart than Dick and Jason are. Bruce was quite young when he took Dick in.
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shannonsketches · 5 months ago
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He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌
(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)
#dbtag#Idk why Toei didn't lean into Vegeta being a version of Piccolo you could put in funnier situations like Toriyama wrote#He's reserved and professional and proud but JUST immature enough to bite down on a gag that Piccolo would readily swerve#But they take a lot of Goku's chaotic comedy away too in favor of Hero(tm) writing and that is why I keep pulling my hair out aklsjdlas#Toriyama was sO funny and it bums me out so much that the anime derailed how lighthearted and straight up silly the humor is#and replaced it with Misogyny Is Funny and humiliation kinks asjklfhadjk and it's not just my complaints about Vegeta and Bulma!!#“Goku is running away from his very reasonable wife because he is a goofy little guy who doesn't want to do his chores” becomes#“Chichi is Cruel to Goku who is Trying to be a good husband because she doesn't relate to his passions and vilifies him for having them"#which is not their dynamic at all but dudes in the writing room are like “being married is fucking awful amirite fellas hahaha”#but Toriyama was like “Being married is not for everybody but it can be really great if you and your partner are on the same page”#Chichi's reasonable! And Goku isn't romantically wired but Goku can enthusiastically consent to sex and still not enjoy kissing#those things can be and are true for a lot of people! And it makes even more sense if you hc Goku to be aspec (and audhd coded) like I do#Kissing can feel gross and can be a sensory overload for many folks. Doesn't mean they're stupid or innocent.#(although Goku CAN still ride nimbus so idk what Pure entails in this universe askljad)#Like I am the FIRST person to joke and drag Goku about his marriage as an aspec myself but like legit Goten is a Last Night On Earth baby#He knows what sex is. But also between how socially removed Goku is and how Shy and Conservative Chichi it's not out of line#to assume the actual words sex and kiss have never been spoken in that house skljdlajdf I FULLY believe Chichi uses code words#Chichi thinks her son being blonde makes him a delinquent and still uses honorifics with Goku like it is fully reasonable to assume#that the joke of Goku's naivetè centers around the fact that his wife is too embarrassed to talk about Certain Matters in a normal way#While Bulma and Vegeta are slutty hedonistic cityfolk who need jesus (according to chichi probably...and me but I support them)#anyway. point is. Toriyama was funny as hell and Nekomajin is absolutely ridiculous and goofy and has a fully amoral main character#which just reminded me that toei is allergic to letting goku be a gremlin and so vegeta's not allowed to be a gremlin wrangler#even though that's been his job since the day he met raditz alksdjaskljd
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itspileofgoodthings · 3 months ago
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you know what I’ve realized lately? that’s really helped? the axiom: it just doesn’t really make that much of a difference. Or at least it doesn’t when you’re talking about good things and not, like, doing good vs. doing evil. Big choices, little choices, decisions, decisions —it’s not just that they don’t matter in the grand scheme of things—because they do! —but just. It won’t make that big of a difference. Life will continue to be wonderful AND difficult, fascinating AND hopelessly mundane, full of roses AND thorns and all the other cliches whether you walk down one road or another. And you’ll get used to the joys and sick of the sorrows whatever they are, and you’ll be ungrateful and bored and dissatisfied in some measure some of the time and you’ll have to work on all the things you have to work on anyways and just. Yeah! It doesn’t make that big of a difference! Even the biggest things!
#as Maria once said to me iconically: marry the guy don’t marry the guy#life is hard and it sucks and it’s also great and little treats exist#and we have to practice patience and virtue and penance regardless of any other circumstances#and God loves us no matter the path we take#like I just. I am reflecting#you know what also made this click for me recently? the limits that can be reached with doing little things to improve your life#like YES. I need to get some exercise and eat some food that is not totally terrible for me and clean my space#but you know the fuck WHAT#(I’m so sorry for swearing)#it doesn’t !!! actually !!!!! dramatically alter my life if I do one thing or another or in a certain order#I could become a fanatical hiker (for some reason I have been seized by the vision of this lately)#and it’s just like. well. yes you could. and you know what it would keep raining sometimes and my anxiety would still exist#and people would still be irritating and laughter would still be real!#anyway I don’t mean to be dismissive over the ways choices can deeply affect our lives#but when the choices are good and the options are good it just doesn’t matter that much#I also realized this with makeup lol. like I reached the point where I was like I could spend more time and effort and money#to achieve a higher level quality of appearance and literally for WHAT#people would still not pay attention to me in the grocery store (lol)#and they don’t need to!!!!! and it’s fine they don’t!!!!!!!#but I just. that voice in my head that’s like if you do X you will experience happiness you have never known#and things will all work out and everyone will be in love you#to that voice I say: well no.#wow this is long but you know what I mean????? it all just sort of matters less in the sense that nothing WE do is going to really#change our lives? I know that’s insane#because people are so insistent that the opposite is true. but like. actually no the most life changing opportunities usually happen#without our control or our scheming or our planning#so of the stuff within our control it’s not that big of a deal!! do good avoid evil enjoy your lunch call your mom!!! but that’s all gonna#keep being the same on the other side of so many many different choices we can make#so yeah
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faaun · 9 months ago
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she's so arrogant and annoying and hot it pisses me off !!!
#like have some shame omg . have some respect#shes soooo certain i will date her she keeps saying shes not worried she doesnt care etc etc bc she knows i want to date her#not even that. she Declared we were dating. like when i was like do u even want this. not just going on dates but acc dating. and she was#like wdym? im already dating you . like ok??? i wasnt informed ig#anyway i said she was arrogant and she said she knows so.#also she did several things when she was drunk that i found cringe/i personally would b embarrassed if i was her but she just found it funn#like genuinely does she have no sense of shame#also her reasoning is that shes too hot to be rejected and since im talking to her instead of... not that makes her certain that#no matter what i say i wont reject her#WHICH MAKES ME WANT TO REJECT HER. DONT TELL ME WHAT I WANT OR WHAT TO DO. UGH.#I WANT TO FIGHT HER FR MEIN GOTT#also i want her to be more romantic i literally told her im not asking her out on the next date lmao#also if we do end up dating properly i have to swear and oath never to argue w her and just communicate slowly and clearly bc imagine#lawyer and philosophy student get into an argument and theyre both scorpios. insane combination imo#INSUFFERABLE. she was also 40 mins late and tbf she did warn me and keep me updated but i was still rly mad at her bc#i was waiting for so long . and i was like . listen im gonna leave. and she walked thru the door. but anyway she apologised but also she#said no ones ever threatened to leave her b4. what do you mean before?? anyway i told her to respect my time more and she was like i cant#believe im being told off by a 21 yr old like bitch ur literally 24 stop acting ancient fuck off#UGH SHES SO IRRITATING. WHY DOESNT SHE CALL ME MORE.#crushposting
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girl-bateman · 6 months ago
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Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍
#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all#literally my soul is gone or something#i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed#which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better#alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off#like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot#like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy#moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously#but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends#i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help#idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho#like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback#kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk#it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore#but who knows 🤷‍♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol#that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown#like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way#and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever#and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality#plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good#but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you#but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !
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blackwaxidol · 8 months ago
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I'm in that "boiler about to explode and take the house with it" prodrome.
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lord-squiggletits · 2 years ago
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I think another thing that annoys me about how prevalent it is for people to read MTMTE/LL and nothing else, is the fact that JRO's depiction of Cybertronian-organic relationships is slanted so heavily in favor of Cybertronians portraying organic aliens as tyrannical racists killing colonies for no reason (Galactic Council, the Black Block Consortia) that love torturing Cybertronians because they hate them so much and don't see them as sentient (that dude who was selling Cybertronian torture dolls to alien races).
And like, something that happens as a result of people only reading MTMTE/LL is that they get this idea in their head that it's Cybertronians who are oppressed by the rest of the galaxy. And an unfortunate.... take that I see as a result of this ends up with stuff like Decepticon/Megatron apologists trying to frame technoist colonialism as basically Cybertronians trying to strike back against being unfairly persecuted and being seen as lesser by alien species? They don't always explicitly say it as such, but I've seen a lot of people try to downplay the whole technoism and colonialism thing by framing it in context to organic racism and how both sides are equally bad or something like that.
Which is not fucking true because if you actually were to read exRID and OP, you would know that there are multiple Cybertronian colonies throughout the galaxy that were created by razing previously occupied organics planets, that Nova Prime (one of the original 13 Primes and the first Prime to rule a united Cybertron) wanted to conquer the entire galaxy which led to the creation of cold construction in the first place, and that the reason organic species hate Cybertronians so much is because Cybertronians were the first ones to go out and start conquering other planets millions of years ago.
It's even more infuriating because you don't even need to read other comics besides JRO's to know this! Tailgate and Cyclonus were from Nova Prime's time and the whole "yeah during those times we liked going out on a fun journey to kill organics for fun hahaha" is brought up at least a couple times in the series.
#squiggposting#meta#but yeah it's easy to forget that idw cybertronians were the ones colonizing organics first#when the bulk of organic species presence in JRO's works is showing them as like absolute racist scum or as poor woobies in need of rescuin#and with regards to m/gatron apologists it actually pisses me off a lot because i KNOW most of them only read m/tmte and ll#and that's why they have Those Takes (derogatory)#and like ppl try to claim that M is unfairly framed as the villain and the colonialism 'makes no sense' (how?????)#but like if they read series besides JRO's they would see that basically M is only carrying on a colonialist legacy#that has pervaded all of cybertronian history. which imo is much more compelling and more accurate to real life than just#'M is racist against organics because they were racist to him/cybertron first. he's just retaliating!'#because like. when you look at real life history you see plenty of activists who revolutionized society and human rights and stuff#but in other aspects they were like fucking racist or sexist or transphobic or whatever#to me M makes much more sense and is more compelling as a tragically flawed former activist/pacifist#when you look at his anti functionism in contrast to his anti organic and colonialist actions#what you see there is a person who correctly argued in favor of the rights of his own species but failed to apply that logic to other speci#it's not uncommon for certain activists IRL to argue for the rights of one group of oppressed ppl but stomp on the rights of others because#they don't acknowledge the shared struggles or the shared roots of oppression between both#that's literally what M is doing. but if you take the stupid route of going 'oh M may be racist but organics were racist too'#that's just. that's not only boring but it makes for a less compelling narrative in a continuity full of political discussions and themes#and also i hate how many M fans just refuse to acknowledge the whole colonialism thing. it's not a matter of you have to feel bad for likin#him but it's a matter of. you can't just brush off M's crimes and get mad at other ppl for pointing out he did bad things#and also sometimes M stans' efforts to justify his crimes just end up having really unfortunate implications sometimes#like that one person who tried claiming that M's colonialism was just him making hard decisions to ensure the survival of his species#which is very mmmm uhhhh ahhhhhhh not a good argument to put it lightly#point is. some ppl wanna talk politics in TF so bad but aren't willing to talk ALL OF THE POLITICS#or like they wanna talk politics in TF without even reading the rest of the series#if your analysis of a story is based on incomplete evidence not having read most of the series and only cherrypicking from 2 series#your arguments are not logically compelling nor properly informed and i can rip them apart as such#there are too many takes in this fucking fandom made by ppl who haven't read most of idw or even read PART OF IT with attention to detail#just. i hate it when popular takes are made by ppl who only read a pinch of the story and make sweeping generaliations
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piplupod · 1 year ago
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sometimes there are rare occasions where I'll feel like maybe I'm not that bad after all but then it will be overshadowed by me thinking abt how I've maybe ruined all chances at being liked by ppl bc I've been too off puttingly mentally ill in the past already so now people will associate that with me instead of my actual likeable stuff OTL
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winter-spark · 1 year ago
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I notice that even though Citron's my fave, I spend more time here talking about Orange and Navel.
I think it's fear of being wrong.
#I can say with upmost confidence that everything I say about Orange and Navel is accurate#that's a joke but I do feel like I can say “whatever I want” and not feel like I'll be horribly wrong about it#I've even discussed with myself why if it turned out Orange and Navel were actually born the same year as Citron it'd still make sense#that's not my fave age breakdown but if someone else or the game said they were I'd be like a'ight that's fine I guess#I don't want to say something wrong/inaccurate about Citron tho because the thing is that no matter where I go I'm the odd one out somehow#and I don't want to know what I think on Citron might be wrong I love him and so I'm extra sensitive there#I even have a whole partial joke post that no one reacted to (okay it's a ship post but he's half the ship so...)#that shows me no one agrees with me so I should keep to myself#also tho Orange and Navel are just easier to come up with headcanons for lol#But like like like when I write Citron he's actually the least independent to himself brother if that makes sense#(I'm not sure it does... it's explained better a couple tags down but I'm not saying he doesn't have his own interests#but rather some of his interests/opinions are somewhat influenced by his brothers & he's like that the most out of the four of them)#I mean I haven't written enough Tangerine to compare him here so he might be more but then again he's very opinionated and sure of things#so who can say yet#(I say as if I've written any of them much at all. Genuinely this might not be an entirely fair comparison but still.)#Citron & his brothers#as for how I write Citron he like like has approximate knowledge & mild interest in certain things bcuz he knows his brothers are into them#which is kinda the reverse of SenriMono huh?#but to me it makes sense for Citron because he doesn't want to be fighting with his brothers he wants to be on good terms with them#so I think in the back of his mind he takes interests in things and has thoughts like: 'maybe I can talk to them about these things one day#or 'if there's a point when we're not fighting I'll ask ____ about ___'#you know?#these tags are too long#sorry for rambling#I legit could've just made a separate post with them#but then I'd be putting my thoughts on Citron on display and that'd be scary so I won't move them#I'm almost certain no one reads my tags anyway#still. sorry to the person who actually does and had to read through all this#idk why you didn't stop but I appreciate you regardless :3#by the way did you know there was a 30 tags tag limit? I just found out lol
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