#but it just frustrates me when people are like yesss let's do it and then just keep on dragging

[kimmkitsuragi]

truly but does anyone notice but does anyone care

[speedycoffeedelight]

An Animalistic Disaster

CH-21 : Reactions to episode 3 and 4

Summary: Just as the title says.

Masterlist

A.N :T.W : Sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse (All the stuff Angel went through. Remember to take a breather while reading the chapter if you need it.)

You were able to convince your co-worker to work your shift quickly. It took some persuasion but you won in the end. Now you had at least a couple of days to yourself to relax and let go. Soon enough, Niffty came back with three plates of food and Cherri helped her carry them.

"I cooked spicy chicken yesterday. Tell me if it gets too for you to handle." Cherri said laughing as you were handed a plate each and a glass of water. The dish looked delectable. As soon as you were handed the plate, you began to wolf it down from hunger.

It was indeed quite spicy. It burnt on your tongue. Yet you couldn't stop eating. The flavours were literally bursting in your mouth like a bomb. You finished the plate in light speed and held out the empty plate towards Cherri.

"Seconds please!"

After the three of you were done eating, all of you again sat back in the same position as before. This time you leaned back on Angel a bit from how full you felt. As soon as everyone was in place again, you started episode 3.

.

.

.

.

' That looks perfect! ' Charlie exclaimed with happiness.

It looked like Pentious had successfully stayed a whole week with them already. Pentious soon came inside the hotel with a large cannon.

' I'm really looking forward to shooting the other residents. '

' What? Why? '

' Everyone is being too nice. Obviously it must be a lie. I can sense they are planning to kill me. But when? How? I must be.. prepared! '

Oh Pentious, sweetie, you can relate to not being used to kindness too. It almost always makes you second guess thinking they are just faking things for you or you don't deserve it. Or they have some ulterior motive.

' People are being nice because they want you to feel welcome '

As soon as Vaggie said that, it cut off to Husk and Angel giving Pentious the middle finger and Niffty smiling creepily at him. "You really want me to believe your words when they're like that?" Pentious commented pointing at the screen and looking at Charlie. "I'm sure they mean no harm...just watch." She said looking at the screen again.

' And you need to get rid of these...things. Oh, what did I just say? What did I just say? '

' What not my little egg Bois. They do my evil bidding for me. '

"Nooo, Vaggie let them stay. They're adorable!" You pleaded giving the human Vaggie puppy eyes and Pentious joined you. Vaggie rubbed between her eyes in frustration. "Fine...I would but you know I can't control what happens there."

"Oh...right..."

' Do you want to stay here and redeem yourself? '

' Yesss...? '

' Then no more eggs '

"Vaggie that's cruel. How could you." You dramatically sayed as she rolled her eyes. You leaned over and patted Pentious on his shoulder. " Don't worry, I'm on your side okay?" Pentious nodded with a sad smile.

Pentious in the show acted like the eggs couldn't bear to leave him as the eggs just followed Vaggie without a question. Then it cut off to a .... rotting deer? And Alastor eating the said rotten deer with a fork and a knife?

"Alastor Ew, what the fuck?" You looked over at Alastor. Charlie, Angel, Pentious and Cherri had the same reaction as you. Vaggie looked like it was nothing new and Niffty and Husk were already used to this. "Alastor if you wanted we could get you some fresh meat you know!" Charlie exclaimed. "You just had to ask!"

"Mmm, no. I prefer hunting my own meals myself." Alastor said with a grin. "It's far more entertaining ~"

" Why am I even surprised..." Angel facepalmmed. "Whatevah, continue the episode (Y/n). " And you did. Alastor's room was pretty interesting, with half of the room being a forest and other half normal. And apparently that dead rotten deer was his breakfast. How he could eat that disgusting smelly corpse was beyond you.

" Alastor....is this why your teeth are yellow? Cause you don't brush your teeth..? "

" Oh heavens no darling. I am quite hygienic, I assure you. They were like this since I fell in hell. "

" .....It better be or else I don't want your nasty ass breath near me."

That ticked off Alastor a little as his left eye twitched. "Nasty you say... I'll get as close to you as I want, wether you like it or not. I'm afraid you don't have a choice in that matter."

Why did your stomach did a flip at that? Control yourself (Y/n)!

Alastor agreed to Vaggie to take care of the egg Bois humanely after she told him to. Charlie was trying to ease the tension in the hotel as Pentious squeezed Niffty with his tail to kill her. Though Niffty seemed to be enjoying it. Charlie decided they would do trust exercises to build bond between the hotel members.

' Oh I will. But it's cash up front. And I know that one, can't afford me. '

' Gross. I'd never think of it spider. '

" That's right baby. It takes money to get this body movin! " Angel pointed at himself. " Though I might do it for free for you (Y/n)~ think of it as paying back for all you've done for me." Angel whispered in your ear seductively making shiver run through you. Vaggie pushed Angel's face away. "No, you are not doing those. (Y/n) are you okay? I can move this freak if you want to." She asked tenderly while putting a hand on your shoulder.

God why were they all so beautiful and so keen on making you blush. You felt like your face was red as a tomato now as you moved your head sheepishly. "N-no, you don't have to move him, ahaha..." You thought he was just messing with you. Since Angel is supposed to be gay after all so you wouldn't get your hopes up. Angel on the other hand smirked seeing the effect he had on you.

Charlie entrusted Vaggie to lead the trust exercise. They had to share something vulnerable about themselves with the group. She went full military mode with the explanation. Charlie went first with the exercise as she expressed how much she loved the members and fell on Vaggie's arm. You gave the Charlie beside you a headpat.

Angel went on the stage next.

' I love to suck - '

' I swear to fuck if you say dicks! '

' Popsicles you sicko. Getcho mind outta gutter. '

Husk grumbled beside you in frustration as Angel laughed at him. Cherri joined in too. The Angel in the show and then fell down on Husk's arms. Despite Vaggie saying everyone had to catch him, none but Husk did.

' But you know, dicks too. '

And Husk let him fall. Pentious was next. He expressed dramatically how he didn't want to live without his minions and he didn't want anyone to catch him.

' Damn it. '

But he got caught by everyone. Next was Niffty's turn as she quickly ran to the stage, scurrying with her little legs.

' Sometimes, I kill mother bugs in front of their children as a warning to others. '

Everyone, minus Alastor and Niffty was horrified. Suddenly, you didn't feel so safe anymore with her in front of you. When Niffty turned around to give you a smile it only made you gulp in fear as you gave a nervous smile back. You made a mental note to yourself to never mess with Niffty.

No one caught her after she jumped. It was understandable why.

' Yay! Pain! '

However it looked like she didn't mind it one bit. She kept going up the stage and jumping down from it. "...Heeeey Angel? Wanna switch places with me?" You whispered. However Angel turned your head straight around with his hands. "No thanks, I don't wanna go anywhere near her. You're all on your own toots, sorry. " ' Traitor....' you thought bitterly in your mind.

' I like your suit. '

' What are the antlers for? '

' Can I touch your staff thing? '

' Are those your ears or is it your hair? '

Alastor eyes twitched with annoyance as they kept questioning him. Finally, they were asking the real questions. "Alastor, mind answering those questions for us? I'm curious too. " You looked at him only to see his smile seemed strained and his eye brows furrowed. "I believe it is none of your business. Now use your hands to start the video again before I rip it off. " You've never started a video again so fast before.

A new Character showed up. It seemed like Alastor and this Zestial knew each other. And from how people scattered from him you guessed it he has to be one of the powerful demons. He talked like an ancient being too. He was an overlord apparently. As they both went up a lift, a little eggboi named Frank got stuck with them.

' Oh look, Frank is up there. '

' We have names? '

Hehe, you can already see that egg being a fun little addition to the meeting. There were other overlords too. It was some kind of overlord meeting. And there was Rosie! You couldn't wait to hear how she sounded like. Fandom has been going nuts over her since the trailer dropped.

' Alastor? '

' Yes I know. I've been absent sometime. I'm sure you've all been wondering. '

' Not really. But welcome back in any case. '

The way his face srunched up at surprise at her not caring made you want to laugh your heart out. He got mad because someone didn't care enough about him? Aww. Adorable.

' No, they have better shit to do then to listen to an old windbag who thinks she's tough shit. I'm here to represent. '

Velvette entered the meeting. Vox and Valentino apparently would stay absent. Then before they could resume, she threw an angel's head on the table. A collective gasp came from everyone in the room.

' Ohh, tasty '

Alastor why are you like this..

As Velevette was trying to tell them about their plan to fight back, Zestial interrupted her to know how foolish it was. To which Velevette responded with teasing and calling him old man. As Zestial was talking with her you noticed Alastor having a test of the head. Gross.

' Oh what's the matter fossil? Too senile to make a real power grab ? '

' You better show some respect!

Check your behaviour '

That song came outta nowhere. Sick guitar sounds too.

' Haha. You've got it twisted.

I'm not the one who needs a new attitude.

Maybe you missed it,

But I'm that #Bitch '

Okay, this was nice. You were jamming to the song. Her singing voice was nice.

' I'm the backbone of the V's '

You paused to check what was written. Damn, vox sent her a 'behave' text. Also the little ice cream of them seemed tasty.

' Oops, did I strike a nerve?

' Cause when I brought out the Angel's

head

Couldn't help but observe

That your wrinkled face was turning

red '

Hm, maybe Carmila does have something to do with the head? And velvette was trying to coax it out of her.

' That was a productive meeting '

Shut it Alastor. Well, it was indeed interesting to say the least. Carmila ended the meeting abruptly. Alastor noticed Carmila and Zestial going into a room together so he sent Frank after them.

"Alastor, nothing better happen to my egg Boi." Pentious whispered. To which he rolled his eyes. "Come on, it's just an egg. You can make more surely. "

Angel brought the gang to to bondage club later. You had to laugh at the absurdity.

' What makes you think anyone would be into this? '

' Y'know, I, I don't hate this. '

Old man Husk to go. That purring was also adorable.

' I'm ready to punish some bad boys. '

Niffty? Damn that girl was packing inside that dress. Good for her. Vaggie then took them to a freaking battle ground to build trust.

' Buckle up buttercups. Because today you boys become men. '

Intense. It was the only word you could use to describe her training. Vaggie chucked both Pentious and Angel out from the roof. Husk quickly dipped while Vaggie wasn't looking. Niffty was excited to be thrown but got stopped by Charlie.

' I'm supposed to never fail you..'

' You didn't fail me. Vaggie you're not..'

' If I can't help you what's the point of me? '

Poor Vaggie. She was looking down, avoiding both your and Charlie's gaze. They both took some time off to themselves. You slid both of your hands behind Charlie and Vaggie back and squished them together, making them smile a bit.

Zestial was trying to convince Carmila to share her secrets with him. So it was pretty much confirmed it was her.

' But if anyone knew

Then all of hell would rise to war. '

So that was her reason for hiding the news. She didn't want to risk her daughter's life. It's understandable.

' When I saw your face

You made me feel like stranger in a

brand new place '

Vaggie's singing too? That's cool. And her voice was really soothing as well.

' I'll spend my life being your partner. '

Charlie didn't know when she started crying. " Vaggie.." she sniffed. " I love youuuu" she pulled her in a hug again. " I love you too Hun. " She mumbled and kissed Charlie's forehead. Your heart, it felt like it was going to melt. You wanted a relationship like them, badly.

' What was the last thing? '

' She killed the angel ? '

' Interesting.. '

Alastor chuckled darkly beside you. He was definitely cooking something evil with that knowledge.

' At least you can take beating like a champ. You did okay new kid. '

All of the residents were getting a bit better with eachother. Laughing and joking. This episode ended nicely with Pentious going to sleep with his egg Bois all cozy and nicely. As soon as the episode was over, people started to talk with each other. However you didn't realise how little this happy time would last with the next episode..

After a few minutes of talking, you started episode four. Everyone was excited to watch the next episode. And it started with Angel tied up? You and the others were concerned for a moment before it turned out to be a....porn that Angel was showing to the hotel residents. Alastor and Pentious's face scrunched up at the noise of Angel's moans. And you...you didn't know how to feel to be honest.

' Fuck you, this is classy art. '

And it showed a wolf slapping Angel's ass and biting so big that you were sure he took a chunk out of his ass. And god the moaning. You were a blushing mess already.

' That's bullshit. You get drunk and bitch and moan all the time. Everyone likes to bitch to the bartender. I know everything about you and these motherfucker's at this point. '

Yeah, Husk gets to listen to a lot of tales doesn't he? No wonder he's one of the most knowledgeable and the most tired one of the group.

' That one, that one is an insecure buffon who's lonely ass watches you idiots

sleep. '

"Pentious does what?" Charlie asked looking at him shocked as Pentious looked terrified at the glare he was getting. He quickly waved his hands in front of him. "W-wait, this is just in the show. I haven't done anything like that yet! Please spare me miss Vaggie.."

' Princess is a bleeding heart who wants to solve everybody else's problem except her own. '

' What? No. I. What. Ohh. No. '

Yep she definitely does.

' This one judges everyone and everything because she hates herself. '

Aww, Vaggie...poor girl.

' And Niffty? Argh,you don't even wanna know what her deal is. '

If Husk says so, you'll believe him. Though you didn't need Husk to spell out how dangerous Niffty was.

' Kittens got claws,meoow~ '

' And you, don't get me started. I see right through you and all these bullshit and how fake you are. '

Somehow, that got him agitated. While talking with Husk suddenly a call came in Angel's phone. And from the looks of it, it must have been Valentino. God damn that guy.

' Okay, I could be so aggressively kind to Angel's boss that I convince him to let Angel spend more time at the hotel. '

Ah, fuck, fuck, FUCK. This was going to go horribly wrong. You could feel that in every inch of your body. Valentino and Charlie meeting is never going to go well.

"Oh nonono.. please. Please don't go there. " Angel mumbled above you while inching close to the Laptop. It almost looked like he wanted to go inside and stop Charlie if he could. On one hand, you wanted Charlie to find out about the shit Angel goes through so she could help him out. But in the other hand, you didn't want that thinking about in how many ways that could go wrong.

Angel facepalmmed. Almost looking defeated and tensed beside you as the show went on. The show cut off to Angel in middle of the shooting. Between that, Angel caught the sight of Charlie coming inside the studio. "Fuck!" Angel cursed above you. Charlie blushed as a female sinner took off their bra and flashed Charlie right in her face. Vaggie grumbled beside you in jealousy.

' What in the ever loving fuck are you doing here? '

' I am the princess of hell Angel and I go where I please. I'm here to get you some time off for the hotel. '

Charlie's intention was nice. But, god, you still had a bad feeling.

' I'm...coming! '

' Not off camera you're not. '

Fucking Val... Before Angel could get Charlie out Valentino took notice. Both real life Angel and cartoon Angel cursed.

' What can I do for such a... '

' Ahh, no thank you..'

Did...Did that motherfucker just lick Charlie's arm??? Oh hell fucking no! Vaggie screamed beside you. "That's fucking it! It was a fucking mistake to let you go alone! I swear to fucking god when I see that moth I'm going to rip him to pieces!" You felt the same. " I want to fucking rip his tongue out for doing that to Charlie.

Alastor clicked his tongue. "Such disgusting behaviour. I wouldn't have expected any better from those lot."

' Make us both richer then well, your papito- '

' Fuck, nooo. I.. I'm sorry..'

That fucking prick. How dare he suggest something like that to her.

' Not at all, princess... '

He was mad, he was really really mad. And the way he looked at Angel, he was probably going to take it out on him. You didn't know if your heart was prepared for it. "Charlie, you're fucking things up..a lot.." Husk commented, he already had an idea on what was going to happen having a shitty boss himself.

And then Charlie tripped and disconnected a wire making everything go on fire. Valentino glared at Angel and stood up. He put off all of the fire with a swish of his wings that you didn't know he had beforehand.

' Angel, can I see you in your dressing room for a moment? '

Suddenly Angel's hand came and paused it the video. His hand was shaky. He could already anticipate what was going to come. And he didn't know if he would be able to face others after that. After they see him like that.

"Angel, I'm really really sorry. I really just wanted to do something good for you and I -" Angel cut Charlie off with a finger as he turned to you. His face was darkened. "(Y/n), is there any way I can see this? Alone? Please?" You completely understood why he would want that as you nodded and brought out your phone and unlocked it.

" Y-you can watch it on my phone in the other room if you want. Is that okay? " You whispered, feeling scared for him. He grabbed your phone, refusing to look at you or anyone else in the room as he stood up and went to the other room. You called out to Cherri immediately. "Please go to him. I don't want him to stay alone...he might allow you to stay." Cherri nodded at you as she went to the other room.

You looked back at the others who looked anxious. You took a deep breath. "Whatever happens.... let's make sure to give Angel some time after this.." with that, you paused the episode, preparing yourself for the worst.

Angel hurriedly searched up the episode in the other room as he noticed Cherri come in. "Cherri! Go...watch with the others.." he said looking down. "No way bitch, I ain't letting my best friend be alone in a time like this." She said popping down beside him. "We're going to watch this shit together. "

.

.

.

.

' Val, I didn't know that- '

Before Angel could say anything Valentino slapped him across the face with the back of his hand making his eye swollen. You hissed at the impact.

' You really think you can have Lucifer's little bitch fight back for you? '

' Val please I'm sorry she- '

' You'd bring her here to protect you? To fuck with me? '

' Argh, fuck..! '

This whole thing was really really painful to watch. You could feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you watched Angel being thrown around like a rag doll by that motherfucking no good son of a bitch. With every slap and hiss of Valentino, Charlie was whimpering beside you. Tears already falling from her eyes as she held your arm. Vaggie and Pentious was looking away from time to time, not being able to stomach it. This scene was much more brutal and disturbing then the music video.

Alastor also had a disturbed look on his face, his smile cracking slightly from the distasteful sight in front of him. Husk closed his eyes but the sound of Angel's whimpers still rang in his ears. How he wanted to drown himself in booze right now. Even Niffty wasn't enjoying this.

Everytime Val hit Angel in the show, it felt like he was getting hurt in real life. He whimpered and hugged himself close to him. Cherri could feel his pain. She patted his back slowly as to not set him off. She knew too much touch will only set him off more.

' You think she can get you out of work? '

' No, no, t-that's not what I'm trying to do...no..argh- '

Valentino had a firm grip on Angel's neck as he looked down at him menacingly and threw him to the floor. Angel was coughing and breathing heavily, trying to get air back in his lungs.

' You know she can't do anything. I own you. Or have you forgotten that ? '

" No "

Valentino made a smoke collar and dragged Angel up by it. He summoned the contract paper Angel had signed. It was signed in his real name, Anthony.

It wasn't a surprise to you. Angel's real name was revealed in a hunicast livestream before. So was Vaggie's. But to the other sinners sitting beside you, it was a big deal. Charlie was slamming on the floor, feeling helpless for not being able to do anything. Vaggie went to her side, trying to comfort her. Pentious was full on crying as well while hugging his knees to his chest. You squeezed Niffty close to you as waterworks were coming from your eyes.

Angel's situation was worser as he almost began to have trouble breathing. This..this was shown to everyone in the other room. What would they think of him now. He felt so open, so exposed. Even more then when he filmed porn. This was a side he kept to himself. He was an actor. He acted wherever he went. He acted that he was fine and everything was fine. He's got it under control. But now, that won't work anymore. They knew how things truly were. And it scared him. It scared him to know that they could use this information to hurt him even more then he already is.

He doesn't know if he's prepared for that.

' When I say come, you say.. '

' Yes Valentino '

' When I say you're fucking twenty guys before lunch you say.. '

' Yes Valentino '

' When I say you better get that fucking cunt out of my studio, you say.. '

' I-i '

' You. Say. '

' Look Val. She just gets involved in everything. I'll.. I'll tell her to leave. Just don't hurt her '

Charlie let out a chocked sob at that. "It's... it's all my fault....Vaggie.. Angel..he got hurt because of...me.. I'm a monster.." She looked at her hands. Vaggie shooked her before she went too far in her head and cupped her cheeks to make Charlie look at her.

" Honey listen, none of this is your fault okay. You tried to help him. You really did. Things just didn't go as planned okay?" Vaggie embraced and held her close. "But it is her fault in a sense." Husk commented sounding cold and distant. "She wandered into a territory she didn't know about. She lived in hell all her fucking life. She should know how fucked up things can get here. " Charlie let out a another sob. You could feel the tension between the crew rising. Now, you began to wonder if it was a good idea to let them react in the first place...

"Husk if you don't shut the fuck-" " Vaggie please stop." Charlie held out a hand in front of Vaggie's face to stop her from talking. " Husk is right....I didn't understand. I was ...I was fool! " She clenched her fists and shut her eyes. "Charlie -" before Vaggie could say anything you put your hand above hers, moving your head.

You know Vaggie wanted to comfort Charlie badly. You did too. But she shouldn't baby her. Charlie had to learn from her mistakes. Her intention might have been good but she should have learnt when to stay away and when to give someone privacy. There are no excuses for that pain Angel went through for that.

After everyone was a bit settled down, you paused the episode in complete silence. You guys did have a rule, you couldn't go away until the episode was finished. You prayed things will change a bit for the better by then.

' What makes you think you can treat him like that? '

Seeing Angel get thrown onto bed harshly, it was enough to make Charlie go mad. She went into her demon mode. You were excited thinking finally she was about to kick Val's ass but..

' Charlie! Just stop. '

Oh no...angel... please no... please let her get angry.

' You actually wanna help me? Get the fuck outta here. Right now. And let me finish my work. '

That voice crack in Angel's voice there. It was certain that he was trying really hard to not break down in front of her. How long was this supposed to hurt you.

' And action. '

There was a song right after this happened ? Really?

' I'm not above love to cash in

Another lover underneath those flashing lights

Another one of those ruthless nights

Yeah yeah yeah '

Angel wiped his tears as he focused on the song. Listening to the lyrics with his heart.

' What's the worst part of this hell?

I can only blame myself '

That line, it was brutal. It shook you to the very core.

' 'Cause I know you're poison

You're feeding me poison

Addicted to this feelin'

I can't help swallow

Up your poison

I made my choice and

Every night I'm living like there's no

tomorrow. '

These lyrics actually said a lot about him. About his situation. How he knows what he does is destroying him from the inside yet he can't stop it, he's addicted to it. It hurt to look how happy he acted during the song, knowing how fake those were.

' My stories gonna end with me dead

from your poison '

Oh god no. You prayed this wasn't a prediction of what will happen in the future.

' I got so good at being untrue

I got so good at telling you

What you wanna hear

I disassociate, disappear '

Every bit of these lyrics felt like belts hitting you over and over again. You wanted to run to that room and check over Angel, right fucking now. But you knew if you did that, others will come following behind as well and it will only make things hard for Angel. Last thing you wanted to do right now was to make a mistake like Charlie and make things worse.

' Poison, I'm drownin' in poison

I'm fillin up my glass

But it's always hollow

Full of poison, I'm sick of the poison

Wish I had something to live for 

tomorrow '

Charlie hugged you as soon as the last line was over. Both Husk and Alastor had their ears pulled down. Husk felt a strange attachment to him. No matter how much he tried he couldn't shake it off. It's not like he was thinking Angels situation was any better than what he saw.  He knew more them well how bad being under a overlord can be. He was under one after all. He wanted to make him a drink and let him vent to him. It was a weird new feeling.

He never actually wanted that for anyone before. It always annoyed him how people would go on and on after being drunk. He didn't ask to be trauma dumped always . He had his own shit to handle. But right now, he wanted to be there for Angel, show him he wasn't alone. It was stupid. But, it wasn't so bad...He decided, after this was over. He'll go have a talk with him .

' Fukin' Christ. You can drop the act already. It's never gonna work on me. So all your doin' is makin' an ass outta yourself with this fake bullshit. '

' Call me fake one more time motherfucker. I dare you. '

' Fake. '

' Fucking asshole - '

So those little pink dots of his were actually eyes. You never knew that. You were started to sniff a bit quietly now.

' You know how much I'm worth? Haha..you know how many people would kill to have Angel dust come onto them? '

"Angel, he objectifies himself. " Vaggie whispered. "He finds his value in his much he's worth.." her somber voice said quietly. You also understood that. That manic looks in his eyes as he said that, oof...

Later Charlie and Vaggie made Husk go after Angel to make sure he was alright. "C'mon ...why can you guys just leave me alone for a bit.." Angel whispered in the other room, feeling another sense of dread. Was there going to be any end of that today? Why did it feel like this show was targeting him specifically.

Husk noticed one of the guys who was with Angel slip something into his drink. Before that prick could hand it to Angel, Husk shoved him off and dragged Angel out of the bar.

' You just let people drug you all the time? '

' You think I asked for it? '

Oh no, another fresh wave of tears was approaching. Fuck it all..fuck this shit. Husk please do something, anything.

' It's not an act! It's who I need to be. And this? This is my escape. Where I can forget about it all. And how much I hate.. everything. A place where I can get high, and not care about how much it hurts. And maybe if I can ruin myself enough in the process. If I end up broken, I won't be his favourite toy anymore. And maybe he'll let me go..'

You were sure that touched everyone's heart right now. Including Alastor's. The urge to just go and comfort him increased tenfold. "Angel...." You softly whispered.

' I was an overlord once you know...yeah.  And uh,it was nice to have that power. But when you're dealin' in souls, while also being a gambler. The stakes are pretty high.'

Husk was a...what? What's with this sudden lore drop.

' So when you're down in your luck, you turn to anything to keep you afloat. Even making deals yourself. '

It showed a bit of Husk losing to Alastor. So he lost to Alastor in a bet and then sold his soul to stay safe. His grumpy attitude towards Alastor made so much more sense now. Husk grumbled, he didn't want this part of his side shown so abruptly.

' So things look bad

And your back's against the wall '

Is Husk going to sing now to cheer him up? Aww... finally.

' You've lost your way

Ya think your life is wrecked

Well, let me just say,

You're..... correct. '

' Wait what? '

All of you had the same reaction. What the fuck? Wasn't Husk supposed to be comforting him? It did look like it was going that way in the beginning.

' You're a loser, baby,

a loser, goddamn baby

You're a fucked up little whiny bitch

You're a loser just like me. '

"Husk what the fuck are you singing?" Vaggie tried to argue but Husk shushed her. "Shut up, I know what I'm doing."

' But lettin' walls down

It can sometimes set you straight.

We're all living in

The same shit sandwich. '

You knew it. Husk was trying to comfort him in his own way. The song was everything you asked for without knowing.

' We're both losers

Baby we're losers

It's okay to be a. '

' Coked up dick suckin' ho? '

' Baby that's fine by me. '

You didn't miss the way Angel lit up when Husk said he didn't mind the way he was. That he accepted him. And Angel actually felt the same way in the other room. He had a small smile on his face as he cradled the phone close to his chest and watched. At least, he knew he wasn't alone.

' I got no holes left to deflower. '

' I sold my soul to save my power. '

You paused to read the signs a bit. You wondered what 'no balls' signs meant for Husk. He was a cat right. Was he...

' You're a loser, baby '

' A loser, but just maybe if we '

' Eat shit together

things will end up differently. '

You hoped for better future for these two. After this song, you definitely shipped them together. You wanted them to be there for each other and have each others back. The way the danced together was rather adorable as well. Husk knew just the way to cheer Angel up.

Before they could end the song peacefully, it was ruined by the people Husk rescued Angel from. You never saw Husk fight before so it was new seeing this side of him. He had explosive dices? That was cool.

' I told you, I can handle myself Baby. '

With that, Angel brought out all six of his arms and began shooting. You had to admit, that was really attractive of him.

' Cause this guy? Ain't half bad. '

Angel felt his heart pierce beside the other room as he looked at the screen.

' I'm so sorry Angel. I promise I won't ever ever ever ever- '

' Charlie, it's fine. I get it. Thanks for caring about me. '

Angel awkwardly petted Charlie's head as she was squeezing him in a hug. He didn't know how to deal with this situation well, with someone who actually cared, but he tried. Charlie started to cry both in and out the show. Angel picked her up like a cat and gave her to Vaggie.

' Hey, how about that drink? '

' You read my mind. '

And with that, the episode was finally over. As soon as it was, Charlie and you stood up at the same time to look for Angel. Angel slumped down beside Cherri. " What a episode huh? " He sounded rather weak. "Yeah...." Cherri whispered, holding him close now. Before Angel could reply, there were knocks on the door.

" Angel? It's me, (Y/n)... Is it okay I come in?"

Cherri was about to say no for Angel's sake. But Angel stopped her. "I got it toots." He knew he looked shitty. He wiped his eyes and took a few large breaths. He's got this. So what if they saw what happens, as long he can play it cool, it'll be fine.

" Y-yeah, I'm fine. I'll be back in a sec!"

Fuck, he didn't mean for his voice to break in the middle. Hearing that, both you and Charlie felt more helpless. Vaggie and others also followed you two soon. Pentious looked awkward as she rubbed his hands together.

"I...uh, well, tell that spider fellow, uh, Anthony, that if he needs any new gadgets any time. I'll be happy to help! Good night!"

Saying that, he poofed and turned into a snake and slithered away somewhere. Vaggie patted Charlie's head and held her close. Husk stood next to you with a huff. You understood he must be anxious for Angel too just as much as you were.

Husk was leaning on the door. So when Angel finally opened the door, He fell down on his ass with a thud. You were a bit spooked at the suddeness. "..fucking..." As Husk was opening his eyes again, Angel's laughing face came into his view. For a second, he thought he actually saw an angel.... It felt like the whole room's light fell on his face. Suddenly he couldn't handle looking at him as he looked forward.

" Ya okay there kitty cat? "

Angel's voice rang out as he crouched down beside him. "Yeah....but are you...?" He asked awkwardly. "Ye-uff" he got tackled in a bone crushing hug from Charlie crying. You soon joined her and hugged him while also crying. Angel felt trapped, being caged in a hug by two crying woman at once. " A little...help... please..?" He looked at Cherri who was looking at it with a smile.

" Nah, you got it covered." She said while messing up his hair and heading to the kitchen. Angel pouted as he looked at Vaggie. But she also followed Cherri making him sigh. He looked down at the girls. "I'm....okay...you can let go now."

" Angel I promise you when we get back, I'm going to get you out ! Any way possible! I'll talk with my father and-"

"Toots calm down-"

"Angel I promise, if Valentino ever comes here I'm going to squish him like the bug he is!"

"(Y/n) It really isn't necessary.

.

..

...

....

Actually no, do it."

Angel's eyes fell to Husk as he finally stood up and gave him a small smile and a nod. Angel knew how much meant. His smile beamed as well.

Alastor and Niffty were having tea in the kitchen when Angel was finally released from your grasp after a good while later. As soon as Angel stepped into the kitchen, Niffty scurried off from the table and grabbed some cupcakes she baked and practically shoved it in front of his face.

" Here! For you! "

" Uh, thanks Niff... "

" Why don't you join us Angel? Or should I say Anthony now?" Alastor said while sipping his tea. Oh right, his real name was revealed now. " Honestly, I don't mind either of em. Call me what you want, it ain't gonna change who I am. The sexiest motherfucker to ever exist. "

Alastor rolled his eyes at that but soon enough, they engaged in small talk. It was a rare sight to see them both talk so peacefully. But today's episode knocked the wind out of all of the crew. After everyone was fed, everyone proposed to give the single bed to Angel. "What? There's already too many of us. Where's Husk gonna sleep?"

"Eh, don't worry about it. I can turn into a cat and sleep in the corner."

"But-"

No amount of argument was able to sway you guys. All of you made sure he was fully fed till he couldn't anymore. Asked him if he was comfortable and pampered him however you could. He was peacefully tucked into the bed. Angel didn't have to lift a finger.

By 2 am. You all were fast asleep. Everyone slept in the same spot as last night and Husk slept in the corner of your pillow as a cat. It seemed like everything ended well, even after all the commotion.

.

.

.

.

The blue coloured animal was getting impatient and hungry in the pond. Oh so much hungry. There wasn't any fish or anything of the sort it could eat. It tried to go into the land, however it wasn't successful. While it was still able to breathe above water, it didn't necessarily have the limbs it needed to walk on land.

It was determined to catch the first prey it gets. Or it'll have to die starving in this strange world.

A.n: I'm shaking as I post this, lol. Please do remember that I tried my best to be as considerate as possible while writing this chapter. Of course you might think 'oh this character would react more differently ' and it may be true. But what I wrote is what I think they would react like. If you think they'd react differently then you're more then welcome to write about it yourself (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

Also another thing, For people who would like to visualise how Adrian looks, I imagine him to be a combination of Hinata from haikyuu and Childe from genshin impact.

I've been rereading the first few chapters of this book and god there are so many errors. I'll fix them soon but the main things will remain unchanged.

Hope I did a decent enough job in this chapter (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

Also Eid Mubarak to all my fellow Muslims out there!!

Tag list: @legostars @glowinthedarkbones1150 @darifes @aria-tempest @rainbowcake1212 @luxylucylou

[ilions-end]

ayyy euripides' electra time (ian johnston transl.)

i really feel i approached the three electra plays in the perfect order. the libation bearers to get me hooked, sophocles to make me frustrated and want more, and now euripides to fullfill all my secret fantasies

that is to say WOW what an initiative electra!! like in aeschylus, her path is so much clearer to her than orestes' is to him, she carries all her hate and resentment on the outside, but while aeschylus only lets her put the plot in motion and then retreat into the shadows, THIS TIME SHE PARTICIPATES. this time HER HAND IS ON THE SWORD!!! oooh delicious

i think this one also balances the weight of both murders (clytemnestra and aegisthus) more evenly than the others. personally i really like how aeschylus underlines how insignificant aegisthus is even as he dies, but now this is kinda my second favourite portioning of revenge

i DON'T MEAN TO COMPARE THE PLAYS SO MUCH, it's just i'm starting to develop LAYERS OF UNDERSTANDING here. whoops

also euripides MAKING FUN of aeschylus' electra comparing her footprint to orestes', by making her go "pshh obviously his footprint would be a different size to mine"?? i want to go back in time and tell euripides "did you think when they said their footprints were alike they were talking about SIZE? bro. omg." i am so annoyed by an ancient playwright misinterpreting another's play it's actually embarrassing.

i did enjoy euripides throwing in "hey, this might be crazy but uhh have we considered that maybe poor people can be noble and rich people can be morally corrupt" every other scene though. i bet that blew the mind of the upper class athenian audience

electra going "you dare imply that my brother would SNEAK into argos and our father's burial place like a COWARD? like a fucking LOSER with NO GUTS?". priceless

WAIT WHAT, that one-line reference to castor once trying to seduce electra. that took me by surprise. EW EW EW THAT'S YOUR SISTER'S DAUGHTER, DUDE. i'm not usually surprised at incest in greek mythology but i want to bap his nose with a rolled-up newspaper. YOU'RE A DIOSCURI, ACT LIKE IT.

yesss we love a despicable aegisthus. the vicious insecurity, the effeminate coding. myrtle flowers in his hair. electra saying whenever he gets drunk he goes to agamemnon's grave to throw stones and kick and shout abuse. oh little man you feel your own inadequacies so strongly, don't you.

but also mmmmm how this version makes the most of out of orestes' abuse of the laws of xenia. he is invited in as a friend! he's honoured with sacrifice, and turns around and commits murder with the sacrifical tools! he does the honourable thing in the most perverted way, OH it's so crunchy

i'm so emotional about electra speaking her grievances, both directly to her mother, and also how orestes encourages her to vocalize all her anger at aegisthus' corpse.

she yells at dead aegisthus what a fucking IDIOT he was to think he could seduce a married woman, marry her, and expect her to be faithful to him. it's so true it's so true

clytemnestra continues to have a point about everyone making a big to-do about her infidelity, when her husband brought back cassandra and was just gonna be like "yeah i'll have two wives (one a mad, enslaved priestess) it's fine it's normal why are you judging me".

augh how electra and clytemnestra's big confrontation made me nauseous, it's so realistically a portrait of an abusive mother who CARES about her daughter, as if that excuses the way she treats her. as if all the abuse is the fault of the child. "Why do you let your husband be cruel to me?" "That's how he is. And you have a stubborn nature." MAKING ME ILL!!!

ELECTRA'S HAND ON THE SWORD. FINALLY SHE'S ALLOWED TO HOLD THE WEAPON, TO KILL HER MOTHER.

and then OF COURSE comes the well of emotion, of bitterness, of sadness, of affection. "There. With this cloak i'm covering up one who was loved and yet not loved." AUGH AUGH AUGH IT HURTS SO GOOD

[serfuzzypushover]

It's the "Mituna Anon" again, but you can call me / us "Post" or "Script" (I'm a system). Using anon because it won't let me ask from the blog I want, it's forcing me to use my base blog, UnU, anyways- :3

Have another me projecting onto Mituna head canon dump about like- Seizures and disability stuff:

Mituna with PNES (Psychogenic Nonepileptic Seizures).

Mituna who is actually clear and coherent sometimes.

Mituna with Dyspraxia / Fine Motor Control issues.

Mituna who was traumatized by what he saw and always had slight issues and overworked himself to a state that triggered all these other issues like a regression.

Mituna who acts childish for the same reasons someone with dimentia might be. He gets scared but he can't put his thoughts together anymore so he just lashes out or wanders off.

Mituna who needs a caretaker because he definitely will hurt himself on accident if he doesn't have one.

Mituna who doesn't really realize how bad of a state he's in until it's too late and he's already doing something unsafe or has gotten hurt.

Mituna who uses a wheelchair, cane, and crutches to varying degrees as needed.

Mituna who wears like skater pads and a helmet for his own safety because man trips over, bumps into, and falls on all the things because he's usually in a dissociative or derealization blur / haze and nothing around him really feels real or like a threat.

Mituna who basically feels like he's high 95% of the time because that's how seizures can feel sometimes, everything is far away and it's all kinda blurring together and he's dizzy and it's fucking confusing and upsetting but also he's too blurry to actually care that hard so he's just kind of existing. (I have had a seizure that felt like being high, I swear this is a real thing.)

Mituna who gets frustrated that he needs someone to watch him because it's really close to Beforan Culling if someone starts being a little too protective. (Even if you actually need it, it can suck to be in need of caretaking and help when you used to be more capable, or usually are more capable. It can feel like being treated like a kid and it's why *I* pick my caretakers and I hate random people in public trying to help me, they treat me like a kicked puppy and I am in fact, very conscious in my head it's just very hard to communicate or function.)

(Also here's the blog I actually post stuff like this on I guess: https://www.tumblr.com/ps-scene-setting)

ouughh yesss yes these are all great!!

[velvetsupremacy]

Would joy be a sub or dom?? What u think><

JOYYYY YESSS! With Joy, she prefers subbing most of the time, but loves to domme once in a great while!  

Joy seems to put up a front. She prefers to be confident in front of people she doesn’t know but is very vulnerable once she knows she can trust you. Her insecurities can often come bubbling up to the surface and she needs all the reassurance from you to let her know that yes, of course she’s the badddest bitch but being vulnerable doesn’t diminish her strong character, she’s only human! 

Joy wants to sub deep down, but she’ll make you work a bit for it! Wants you to earn her trust and vulnerability. She can be quite the brat! I feel like she’s the member who’s most likely to tease you in public. She’d brush her ass against you, smack your ass in passing, playfully question your authority by saying shit like, “prove it”, “you can’t make me”, “that’s all?”. She wants to see how you’ll handle her attitude, but it can be handled in a couple ways. If you have the time, it be fixed when you bend her over and give her a few swats on the ass AND make her count each one then take her to bed. OR, if you need to go out, you’d do the same thing but instead of taking it into the bedroom, you stuff her with an app-controlled vibrator. You figure if she can tease you in public, then she can handle paying for her actions in public. She literally gushes when you’re out with friends and you act like you’re texting someone when you’re really just playing with the vibration levels of the toy, smiling every time her breath hitches or she’s grabbing your thighs. Loves when you’re finally in private and you restrain and edge her. She begs so prettily for you too, whimpering out apologies and pleading to come, “please baby let me come, I’ll be so good for you”. Moans LOUD lemme tell you! Loses it when you compliment her as you’re punishing her. “Yeah, use that pretty voice for me baby, no one else sings for me like you do.” UGHHHHHH. Sometimes when she isn’t feeling bratty, she wants the good ol’ classic princess treatment she deserves! She’d find wherever you were at and straddle you and cover you in kisses, begging you to come to bed. You'd carry her there and eat her out, making her come over and over till she's the cutest mess :(

But I feel like if she’s feeling frustrated after a stressful day at work, she’d go straight up to you and pull you into a heated kiss, grabbing your ass, and hauling you into the bedroom. She loves edging you as well, enjoys the feeling of having your sanity rest on her actions! She loves using toys on you, an avid believer that toys bring more spice to the bedroom. She has a thing for seeing you being stretched out by a new dildo she bought. If you haven’t noticed, girly loves dirty talk “look at you being such an obedient sub for me, maybe I should domme more often.” She absolutely adores how you’re so receptive to her as a domme too! She just feels so safe in your presence expressing her innermost desires!

[thatgirl4815]

the sandray boeing situation is so frustrating because ray is a very emotionally driven person "act first think later" AND he is at the very start of recovery which means he is in a very vulnerable emotional state right now and he is not making the best decisions right now and sand is ALSO in a very vulnerable emotional state from his shitty manipulative cheating ex trying to come back into his life and reopening old wounds so he is ALSO not making the best decisions right now and all people are focusing on is who between the two of them is in the wrong in this situation ugh it's driving me crazy.

also this is a message for the people who are either like "see he's making bad decisions again he hasn't changed and right back to his old tricks" or like this "see ray is trying to stay calm that means he's totally changed and he's just doing this to help sand in his own way": ray is NOT gonna change in one week he's gonna need way more time than this to start acting the way people wants him to act even if he did promise to change. sand's love and two weeks of rehab is not gonna magically heal him from YEARS of addiction and of letting trauma dictate his actions and emotions that's not how things work these things take time. ray is trying but he will make mistakes again. it's sand's choice to make whether he has the patience to deal with ray or not. him having the patience right now does not mean he will stay with ray no matter what happens. forgiving this or that mistake doesn't mean he will forgive every mistakes ray does in the future. if he wants to stay he wants to stay if he wants to leave he wants to leave, there is not one right or one wrong decisions. both of these decisions are perfectly understandable and reasonable.

Yesss I completely agree—you’re underscoring a really important point about dichotomous thinking in the fandom. A lot of the divisions I have seen have been people viciously defending or attacking another character without really taking into account both perspectives. Getting frustrated with a character’s choices is understandable, but sometimes that frustration leads to a lack of empathy and understanding for why they did what they did.

Part of what makes Ray in particular such a difficult case is his alcoholism and his sad backstory, which I actually think can be taken too far both directions: Ray’s behavior towards the people in his life, especially Sand, can’t be solely blamed on his personal issues, but it can be informed by them. Yet I’ve seen people jumping to Ray’s defense because of this backstory alone, and I think that’s where it can oddly get a bit out of hand. It’s good to empathize with Ray and acknowledge how his history/addiction guides his actions, but when that is used as an excuse in any situation, then it becomes an issue.

Anyways, I didn’t mean to go off on too much of a rant there, but my main point is I agree with you! Sand and Ray have faced a lot of conflict in their relationship, but regardless of how they’ve acted in the past, that doesn’t define their future. Especially for Ray as someone who is slowly learning to overcome some of his biggest internal obstacles, I think that growth will become palpable in SandRay’s relationship bit by bit.

[why-am-i-here-lol]

can you write an Echo x reader who just broke up with her bf? and echo just comforts her? tyyy!! <33

Yesss ofc we love a good comfort fic - enjoy <3 also sorry this took so long, I haven't posted in a hot minute 0-0

You knew it. Somehow you knew what was going on with your boyfriend before you found out. It was a sick feeling in your stomach like something wasn't right.

Earlier this evening you put your suspicions to the test, ultimately finding out that he had some twi'lek girls coming over whenever you went to your job at the GAR. You told him you were leaving on a mission when in reality, the medical chief gave you some time off. You saw them walk to your door, and you saw your boyfriend welcome them in like old friends... or more than friends.

Ever since then, you've been at work. The medics were all surprised to see you today, since you were supposed to be home, relaxing, enjoying your free time. A few asked you about it, but you just gave dismissive responses, too emotionally drained to deal with the stress. Since you couldn't work, you found a quiet place to settle, somewhere no one would think anyone would be.

You sat down, exhausted. And cried. You let out your frustrations, anger, sadness, insecurity, and utter despair. All these feelings and more seemed to whirl around you, like a tornado. You could feel it in your bones. Your fingers were getting tingly, and your heart just... hurt. It hurt with an intensity you rarely ever felt.

You lost track of how long you had been sitting there, in your secluded corner of an empty room, but you knew it had been a while by how much your butt hurt. You sat for a while more, working up the courage to get up, to face what happened. You knew you would have to talk to your new ex soon, but every time you thought of it, your heart would pound, your breathing becomes more shallow, and your heart would break all over again. You couldn't see him in your mind without seeing those girls waltzing and prancing into your home anymore. You couldn't see why you just weren't good enough for him. You were still shocked, even though hours had gone by.

You eventually stood up and stretched out a bit, getting extremely dizzy in the process. 'Man, I must have cried out everything I had in me', you thought.

You started to make your way out of the room, probably looking like a mess, but before you got too far, you bumped into someone and fell to the floor. They exclaimed in surprise, while you attempted to scramble to your feet.

"I'm so sorry!" you blurted, completely embarrassed. Your embarrassment doubled when the subject of your clumsiness called out your name and tripled when you recognized the voice. It was Echo. As in, the member of the Bad Batch whom you worked closely with, that you knew the least since he was still new. He grabbed your arms, helping you up as you babbled some sort of apology.

"Oh Echo! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you, and I just- I'm sorry I wasn't paying atten-"

"Hey hey, it's okay," he assured, studying you to make sure you were in fact okay. Once his eyes studied your face though, his entire expression shifted. "Hey, are you okay?"

You remembered your appearance, and what it must look like for him. You fumbled over a response, never seeming to actually make a coherent sentence, but eventually gave up, just saying you were fine.

He saw right through this, of course, and thought it would be best to find a quieter place than the middle of the hallway to talk about this if you so desired. 'The barracks are taken by the others, so the Maurader might be the better option,' he thought.

"I know I don't know you as well as I should, but I know enough to know you aren't fine. Do you want to go to the Havoc Maurader and talk?"

You almost broke down then and there in that hallway. Why did it feel so... relieving for Echo of all people to just know that you weren't okay?

"Yes," you said, tears starting to well again. Echo quickly saw and wiped your tears with his thumb, looking at you with compassion.

"Hey now, you'll be okay. Let's go talk."

That's how you found yourself sitting on one of the small bunks in the Maurader, Echo sitting next to you.

"So.. what's going on?"

You stayed silent for a moment, before giving a hesitant answer.

"Just... Life stuff I guess." You looked up at him, wanting to see his reaction, and if he'd see right through you and push for an answer.

"Life must be really stressful right now then. With the state I caught you in, I'd say something big is going on."

You just looked down in response, feeling impressed to tell him more, but still not trusting fully that it would even do anything for you. 'He is taking really good care of you, you at least owe him an explanation,' you thought.

You sighed, making up your mind.

"I caught my boyfriend cheating on me today," you started, "and I'm just ... In a lot of pain from it."

"Whoever this guy is, he clearly didn't know what he had - or what he lost for that matter," Echo replied. "He didn't deserve you, and you deserve better than what he gave you." He paused for a moment, the silence making you really think before he continued. "I think for now, you need some food and rest. Time will heal. It's not easy, but you'll find it'll help you in the end and you'll be stronger than you were before."

You couldn't help your tears anymore, and once again your eyes started letting them out, first slowly, but surely speeding up as you lost your composure. You practically melted into Echo, who responded by wrapping his arms around you in a comforting hug.

"Echo?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think you'll be able to help me until things do get better? I mean.. I don't want to go through this alone," You explained.

"Of course I'll help you!" He exclaimed. "I'd do anything for you, actually." He scratched the back of his head sheepishly as you cocked your head in confusion. You couldn't help but feel your cheeks start to burn, your heart starting to beat a little faster.

"What?"

"Heh, I'll explain later. You don't need more on your mind right now," he said, smiling down at you.

You smiled at his consideration, already suspecting what he wasn't saying. The thought made you smile.

"Alright, if you say so." You waited a moment before continuing, "And for the record, I'd do anything for you too." You smiled at him, hoping he'd take the hint.

He did. He smiled at the thought of what could be.

"Thank you," he said, "but you need to rest for now."

"You're probably right," you laughed, "it's been quite a day." Your face turned solemn, thinking about all that had happened.

"I know it's not much, but you can take my hammock in the barracks for however long you need.

"That's more than enough, Echo, thank you. But what about your brothers? Wouldn't they question what's going on? What will you tell them?"

"They will want to know, but they understand privacy all the same. I'll only tell them what you want me to tell, if anything at all."

"I don't mind if you tell them," you started before yawning. "Although, I think it is time to get some rest."

"Agreed," he said, smiling softly.

You followed him through the halls to his barracks, still feeling sad, but strangely okay. You didn't feel better, but you had a new confidence that this would pass, you wouldn't feel this way forever. You knew you'd be okay with Echo. He would take care of you.

[mattscoquette]

https://www.tumblr.com/mattscoquette/764734923844255744/unpopular-or-maybe-popular-opinion?source=share

YESSS EXACTLY!!! all i've been seeing lately is the reader’s complaining so it's nice to finally see another writer's pov on this. my smut fics tend to do a lot better than my fluffs or angsts usually. and you're so right, tumblr is known for the smut. if you want fluff and angst, go back to wattpad or something idk.

the thing that pisses me off the most is how people have been complaining about the lack of fluff and angst when they are the reason there isn't any. writers put out what the readers interact with the most, yet those get the least interaction. so if any of you complainers see this: INTERACT WITH FLUFF AND ANGST AND MAYBE YOU'LL GET SOME

this is definitely not that deep but it makes me mad for some reason. i'm just hoping people will let this go soon bc i have a bunch of smut fics to work on lmao

- 🌷

no this is so real 😭😭😭 and like me personally i love a good angst and it never does as well as my smut fic so i just assume ppl don’t like it as much so i wont write it as often 😭😭 like the thing i get the most interaction with is def what ill be posting the most bc thats what people like ??? idk its just frustrating to see people complain about the lack of a certain genre of fics when what ppl request and interact w most is smut.

but as u said it’s not that deep EVER, but i understand the frustration

[babacontainsmultitudes]

♫ you dont have to answer this especially if you already have a ton but lllllllincoln li-wilson,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i am a simple man

SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO THIS I WANTED TO BE REASONABLY THOROUGH (AND YES I DO HAVE TO ANSWER THIS ACTUALLY!!!)

*breathes* heh. This might be a tad long, so let's go to my super secret Lincoln Li Wilson fan club under the cut

-oh right, the password! No problem it's

SAY HI TO YOUR DAD FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

HEH. WELCOME TO THE COOLEST CLUB IN THE FANDOM, POPULATION YOU AND ME.

okokokokokok so so so so well I guess what I realized is that, while I have many songs for this boy- err technically a lot of them are in a shippy sorta context?? But I don't wanna, well, I don't wanna hit you with anything that is too, like, "ship-dependent" cause I don't know what you do or don't ship!

*That said*- my fucking gothcleats playlist dude? I'm handing it to you anyways cause I have FEELINGS about every single one of these fucking songs and imo honestly you can interpret most of them in a completely non romantic context anyways also also almost all of them are from Linc's perspective for me so I think you'd genuinely still appreciate at least some of these. All *that* said, I will be picking a few from this playlist to talk about that really aren't that romance-coded if at all buuuut are gonna be about Scary to some degree.

Oh- my swiftli playlist you ask??? IT'S SO FUCKING STUPID DUDE. It's so dumb like it's so silly like it's almost purely vibes and the vibes are really really dumb but yesss I'm handing you this one as well I'm not saying the songs don't slap but they're still very stupiddddd.

OK on to some fucking songs yeah???? So I guess the first one I'll start with is:

"Angel With A Shotgun" by The Cab

Which, okay, before I even get to the lyrics like come ON am I wrong for thinking that even just that fucking name is the most Lincoln Li Wilson thing in the whole god damn world??

But yeah, I mean lyrically really this one has a lot going for it as a Lincoln song, but to point out a few particular lyrics that stand out to me:

////

If love's a fight, then I shall die With my heart on a trigger

They say before you start a war You better know what you're fighting for

If love is what you need, a soldier I will be

I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting 'til the war's won I don't care if heaven won't take me back I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe

Sometimes to win, you've got to sin Don't mean I'm not a believer

And I'm gonna hide, hide, hide my wings tonight

////

😤 This one really gives me extra feels after the last episode, I gotta say! :0 As far as like pure imagery goes I think some strange combination of an angel and a soldier is just *so* Lincoln. There's just these really interesting themes with Lincoln of like, devotion, and sacrifice, and perseverance, and making tough decisions! Especially to help those around you! This song really just captures that for me.

Okay, next!

"Hit The Floor" by Linkin Park (more like Lincoln Park am I right sorry sorry)

Right right, where to start with this one... This one captures two primary concepts for me. It's partially, like, confrontation between Linc and Scary, from his perspective. But actually, I think you could also interpret some of these as relating to his frustrations with Grant as well! Otherwise, I like this one cause I think it captures Linc's ability to like, totally turn the tables and flip the switch when you least expect it? Seriously, that boy is quick on his feet (heh soccer heh), and always has a trick up his sleeve. Here's a few lyrics:

////

One minute, you're on top! The next you're not, missed your shot You think you won, and then it's all gone

So many people like me put so much trust in all your lies So concerned with what you think to just say what we feel inside So many people like me walk on eggshells all day long All I know is that all I want is to feel like I'm not stepped on

What goes up will surely fall, and I'm countin' down the time 'Cause I've had so many stand-offs with you, it's about as much as I can stand So I'm waitin' until the upper hand is mine

I know I'll never trust a single thing you say You knew your lies would divide us, but you lied anyway And all the lies have got you floating up above us all But what goes up has got to fall

////

I guess Mike Shinoda is just *the* Linc artist for me, cause this next one is from him as well!

"Believe Me" by Fort Minor

:0 Also about Linc's confrontations with Scary, but with a different flavor! Here I think it's more retrospective, at least in part, in reference to how Linc used to look up to Scary in some sense, and trusted her and all that. Otherwise, there's obviously some narrative parallels going on between these two, particularly with regards to the evolution of their mental/emotional states, which I think some of these lines nod to as well:

...Yeah it's really basically the entire song for this one ahahaha what can I say it's good shit

////

You like fun and games? Keep playing 'em I'm just saying, think back then, we was like one and the same On the right track, but I was on the wrong train Just like that, now you gotta face the pain And the devil's got a fresh new place to play And in your brain, like a maze you can never escape the rain Every damn day is the same shade of grey

Hey, I used to have a little bit of plan Used to have a concept of where I stand But that concept slipped right out of my hand Now, I don't really even know who I am Yo, what do I have to say? Maybe I should do what I have to do to break free And whatever happens to you, we'll see But it's not gonna happen with me

I guess that this is where we've come to If you don't want to, then you don't have to believe me But I won't be there when you go down Just so you know now, you're on your own now, believe me

Back then, I thought you were just like me Somebody who could see all the pain I see But you proved to me unintentionally That you would self destruct eventually Now I'll be thinking like the mistake I made doesn't hurt But it's not gonna work 'cause it's really much worse Than I thought, I wished you were something you were not And now this guilt is really all that I got

////

ALRIGHT. Let me leave you with one that's just for Linc. I won't bother with specific lyrics for this one, this song slaps (I think!), you gotta give it a listen.

"Galvanize" by The Chemical Brothers

Linc calls the shots in this fucking podcast, you know this, I know this. That's what this one is about.

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

I do love talking about RE6... it's like the ultimate aeon game just almost every scene in Leon and Ada's campaigns has something about their relationship. But for this ask I wanted to talk about how Leon treats Carla because I think those scenes are also key bits in seeing how Leon treats others when Ada's involved because he doesn't know at that point that Carla is not Ada (and I don't think he knows that until after RE6 if ever, but I'm almost certain Ada cleared it up for him eventually). And also as a side note, I can't imagine what Ada was thinking when she learned Simmons tortured women and successfully turned one into her doppelganger. Not only is that a whole new level of identity theft, but also Ada is the type of person who likes to have control over situations and she had none here.

Anyways, the standoff between Leon and Chris gets me every time because Chris is right, Carla did get kill most of his team (twice) and I don't think Leon has any reason to not trust Chris but Leon is convinced that it was actually Simmons that killed Chris' men and I'm not sure if that's because that's what Leon believes or if the possibility of what Chris is saying is true just isn't a thing that Leon's going to believe without talking to Ada first. Maybe both. And then Chris tells him about Neo-Umbrella and Leon's still like "Nope. I'm not letting you touch her."

Not to mention the events leading up to that standoff. Even when Carla is doing everything to stall them (and possibly kill them?) Leon never attempts to use force against her. Just yells at her to stop so they can talk. Like he's frustrated, but Ada's acting OOC so I think he's also really confused (on top of already being confused by that lovely tape Simmons made).

~Rambling Anon

Hellooooo again!

yesss we love re6 aeon here

EXACTLY... we never see Ada go through her traumas. how does she feel knowing that a man was so obsessed with her, he killed THOUSANDS to be even close to a clone of her. and the VICTIM blaming i see for people who are like "ada should've just been with simmons, it would've stopped so many people from dying,"

EXCUSE ME????!

RE6 Ada has so much of a redemption arc not only for herself but for crimes SHE DID NOT COMMIT. I love whenever people are like I CAN'T FORGIVE ADA FOR WHAT SHE DID TO CHRIS. OH REALLLLYLYYY PLEASE TELL ME WHAT SHE DID TO CHRIS???

I think the fact that Leon is more willing to protect "Ada" and believe in her than Chris SAYS A LOT. Regardless of what "Ada" did, Leon also doesn't want Chris to act on anger. On vengeance, to do something that he knows that Chris will regret.

He wants to get to the bottom of the whole Carla/Ada thing, and I don't blame him. Aeon is clearly more established by the time it's re6.

"A ring?"

"Don't get the wrong idea."

PLEEASEE!!!

Bottom line is, he is more willing to believe in Ada than Chris. And we have no reason to blame him. He obviously knew something was up, but he needed Ada alive obviously to find out what it was. And clearly he wasn't going to let Chris stop him.

[payphoneangel]

For the ask game 1, 11, 24, 23 :))

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

Oh boy, starting off with a bang! Uhhh this question is very broad so I guess I'll interpret 'things' as like, events. I could go media but ehhh i think events are more interesting.

1.1 I had a rare and severe disease as a child that deeply impacted how I view mortality, comfort, and the field of medicine. Luckily, I have essentially 0 lasting health impacts from it so it's all just emotional stuff! Hooray!

1.2 My parents split in my early teens, changing not only my living situation but also how I viewed the concepts of home, family, and romance/marriage. It also was the catalyst for which started repressing all of my emotions, something I had to work hard to unlearn in my late teens/early twenties. It was a good life lesson, to say the least.

1.3 Also around my late teens, I figured out I was genderqueer! This has changed a lot, both the intricacies of my gender itself, and how it's impacted my life. Everything from the way I look/speak, how I navigate interpersonal relationships, and how I conduct myself in public are impacted by my complex relationship with gender. It's fun and exciting and freeing and enlightening, but it's also frustrating, isolating, confusing, and downright scary sometimes. I wouldn't have it any other way.

11. what do you consider to be romance?

Tbh, it's something that has been on my mind quite a lot recently! Short answer: I have no clue 😅

Long answer: I have only recently just had the revelation that I cannot tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction. I'm not even sure romantic attraction is something I'm capable of experiencing. I can recognize (and enjoy) romance in fiction, I sing along to all the love songs, I do my best to understand the feelings of those around me when they talk about romance. But for me? I don't know. I know I've loved people, deeply and earnestly-- I love people now. But every time I try to enter a romantic relationship with someone, I feel like I'm just doing what's expected of me; going through the motions of 'what romance is supposed to look like' without actually feeling it. It's hard to say though, it's hard to identify the absence of something. How do I say I can't feel these feelings if I don't know how to identify them? Or is that in and of itself my answer? To me, there isn't anything I'd only do exclusively with a romantic partner. I don't know what romance looks like because I'd happily do anything passionate, caretaking, or intimate with a friend. But I'm told there's supposed to be extra feelings, so... here I am.

23. say 3 things about someone you hate

YESSS TIME TO BE A HATER. Okay uhhhh 1) expected me to be responsible for an entire dnd group's happiness despite my own joy becoming less and less frequent when playing (exacerbated by playing become a literal obligation) 2) assumed he knew my own needs and solutions to my problems even when I DIRECTLY STATED OTHERWISE 3) decided i had daddy issues because-- and I cannot stress this enough-- I played a warlock in his stupid campaign. Then he tried to therapize me about it. thru dnd. Needless to say I did not stay in that campaign (despite his best efforts to not let me quit)

24. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

Ahhh I could connect this to any of the earlier questions but I suppose since I'm answering these on here I'll say this: My improvement in writing!!

Spn really got me into writing fic. Outside of taking a creative writing class in college, I haven't done any writing outside of scientific writing since I was a teen. I had a lot to learn and relearn! It's been really rewarding to send my drafts to my beta reader, and watch the amount of edit suggestions lower with each project as my writing skills have strengthened. Of course, I still have more to learn, but honing my writing skills is something that brings me a lot of joy; and it's been very fun to write fics that other people enjoy too!

ask me some stuff

[yesyourstalker]

Neta: ikkan.... You still awake?

Ikkan: mmmmm I am now

Neta: Oh I'm sorry. I'll tell you when we get home

Ikkan: I'm already awake now. You can just tell me...... Is something wrong? You've been fidgety this whole day

Neta: No there's nothing wrong I just I just have stuff in my mind.. is all

Ikkan: mmm............ Come here......

Neta: ok.......*sigh* this is nice.... You should get a chest tattoo. Maybe something that It goes with your scars. Maybe like vines or something plant related. You've been really good with your plants lately it's impressive

Ikkan: That's something to think about. What's on your mind?

Neta: I've been thinking do we get married after you graduate and we move or do we get married before so we don't have to plan anything and just settle down and adjust?

Ikkan:................................................................. um I don't know. I didn't really think about that........ I didn't really think about marriage. Haven't thought about that since we .........hm... Did my mom say something to you?

Neta: yeah she did.......I do want to get married. Do sill you want to get married?

Ikkan:........... Yeah. I do want to be married, but right now I think we should just focus on our lives. You deal with your store and me, with everything going on. I think we can put wedding planning on hold for now but I do. I do think we should renew our engagement.

Neta: that's good. I'd thought you'd say no

Ikkan: why would you think I would say no?

Neta: I don't know. I just get into my own head sometimes. I remembered moments when I was a lot to deal with. I don't think you'd want to deal with that the rest of your life.....not with me

Ikkan: That's not true. I would gladly live with you, be with you and love you through every moment of your life. Including the bad moments.... [Kiss].... Besides, I have bad moments too and you deal with me...... Remember when I couldn't find my guitar pick and just completely melted down... and I didn't speak for two days.......you stayed, most people wouldn't stay when I'm like that.... A lot people didn't

Neta: that's different.... Those are one time things and it could be preventable most of the time..... You just had a bad day.... When I have a bad day that extends to a week and then a month and so on............ That doesn't sound like a good life to share with someone. It doesn't seem like it's worth it. {Taka: it's not worth it... You're not worth it}

Ikkan: It is... It is worth it. You're kind, you're generous, you're attentive, you're nurturing, funny, smart........ You have pretty eyes.....[kiss]..... It's a good life...... You're giving me the best life Neta and I'm happy that I'm living this life with you.... You've change so much.

Neta: yeah like physically... Mostly just looks

Ikkan: no.... well yes,... But your physical changes also came along with a lot of other changes......More mature in a way. More vulnerable and affectionate. You're more calm, less angry when frustrated. Not on edge like you used to.....*sigh*....You let your guard down a little that a good thing..... You weren't like that when we met.... Or when we were first engaged..... I think at that time it wasn't the right time. I don't think you were ready. Honestly neither was I...... I think this time.... This time right now I think we're both ready for this kind of commitment

Neta: so It's a yes... Ikkan... Will you marry me?

Ikkan: hehehehe.. yes... I will marry you.... hehehe

Neta: yesss.... [Kiss] [kiss]... We're back...... [Kisskissksskiss]

Ikkan: Neta! Heheheheh stop! Hehehe

Neta: hehehe.....*sigh*...... Maybe I should have waited...

Ikkan: why?

Neta: I have this whole thing planned.... Where I was going to give you back your bass and tell you that I didn't want it anymore and you were going to ask why and I was going to explain that I didn't need it anymore because I played it when you were away.... and when I started to miss you but now that you're back in my life and it was this whole thing-

Ikkan: why don't we just forget that we had this conversation.... We go home and you get to do your little planned out proposal... Okay?

Neta: yeah..... That's a good idea....*yawn*..... We need to go to sleep........ Our flight is in the morning.........*snoring*

Ikkan: hehe how do you fall asleep so fast?... [Kiss]...

Next day

Mahi: you think it's weird that we're still at his place?... Maybe we should have went home.

Warabi: why? our whole side of the city including The mall's power is out... The hottest day of the year no less.... I'm telling you that zapfish is on its last leg..... That thing has been powering our city before it even was a city. When my grandfather was my age That's pretty old.

Mahi: yeah.... They live quite a long time and it's only 100 and what 5 years old? I'm pretty sure it can like live for maybe another 100 years

Warabi: their life span is 200 something. That's half of their lifespan gone. They're also powering underground life too. the war is over everyone has free power source. It's not just surface dwellers anymore.....

Mahi: They're going to have to get another one.. maybe a younger one..

Warabi: I'm not not one for making predictions, but I feel like this might be the first time inkling and the octarian military are going to have to work together and-oh shit hide hide hide

Mahi: *oof*

Neta: home at last! my own food and my own bed..........*gurgle*....... And my own toilet..... Brb baby.

Ikkan: where's my Nibbles! Nibbles! You miss Daddy??..... nibbles! what did I tell you about jumping on the counter! Come here!

Mahi:..............

Warabi:......... Shhhhhhh.... crawl to the bedroom when Neta leaves

Mahi: ok....... They left the front door unlocked

Ikkan:.. .. Babe did you eat my walnut shrimp!? That's been in there for a week before we even left!! ....... See this is why you're in the bathroom now. You just eat shit you shouldn't and then you pay the con-.......hehehe what are you doing?

Neta: I'm giving you back your bass... I don't need it anymore

Ikkan:...... heheh... Why I thought you wanted my bass.

Neta: I did. I used to play it all the time when you weren't here when I started to miss you. It was during a time when It was a lot harder for us to be in each other's lives.... When I played it I realize that I didn't want you to just be a little glimpse in my life. I want you to be a part of it . I want to be a part of yours...... I love you..... I-I don't really have words to describe my feelings for you. I just know that when I'm around you.... I feel safe and secure and wanted....... I didn't want to cry... *Sniff*.....I never thought I would get to this point......... where I'm actually happy..... Truly happy and I don't think I would have gotten there if I didn't meet you....... That's why I want you to have your bass back....... I don't need to keep with me all the time, it'll always be there when I need it like you. if willing?

Ikkan: if willing what?

Neta: if you're willing to marry. Ikkan......... Will you marry me?

Warabi: *gasp*

Mahi: *silent screaming*

Ikkan: hehehehe...... yes .... I will marry you

Neta: hahahaha yes! Nailed it! Hahahah [kisskissksskiss]

Ikkan: hehehe Neta!..... Cut it out! Hehe...............

Neta:................................

Ikkan:.............................

Ikkan and Neta: [kiss]

Warabi: aw....so sweet

Ikkan........*moan*....

Warabi: oh.... uhh

Mahi: we need to go NOW. They're not looking go.. gogogogogogo..... Before it gets worse..... Gogogo

Warabi:........ Oh my Cod........ Can't believe they didn't notice this!

Mahi:.......... Hahahahahahaha!

Warabi:....... hahahahahahaha!

Mahi: let's go. This was...... Wow!

Warabi: you think that the new rice place is open?... I heard it's good.

Mahi: let's just hope. The power is on over there...... You ate two week old shrimp by the way.

Warabi: but it tasted like one week...

Mahi put together with rubber bands and silly putty by @fish-at-fish-fish-resort

[invisiblegarters]

Be My Favorite Ep 11

Last Week: Pear was too decent for anyone in this show, Kwan finally figured out Not is the worst, Kawi and Pisaeng did the do.

This week: my frustration with tumblr is reaching a boiling point, I don't know why I'm even bothering with this when literally no one will even see it. But I truck on because at this point it's habit.

Joy.

Oh interesting, parent meeting about the kiddos. I wonder sometimes if the reason that PIsaeng and Pear were getting married in an alt timeline (at least one of them) is because of these two, but at least in the current one they both seem fairly willing to let their kids be.

And once again, Pear is way nicer than I would be. Mom was selfish. The end. I do get feeling trapped by a life you don't want, but did she not make the decision to be married and have a child? And then she made that child suffer so that she could go off and achieve her dreams, and then had the gall to thank her, to not apologize or appear to feel any remorse for just exiting her life.

But.

But it's probably better for Pear in the long run if she can let go of the bitterness. So for her sake, I'm glad.

Kwan just delete those pics and move on, babe. Not's not worth all this.

So I guess they were going for nerves last week. Clumsily done. So tired of the blushing maiden thing in general, honestly. Can we please retire it forever along with the crazy ex faen trope? Can we please, please, please stop sending the message that one person in the relationship has to be shy and reserved and scared of sex while the other pushes them forward? It's so fucking detrimental, and it just feeds into this idea that to be a "good" girl (or the bottom in BL, because it's always the bottom isn't it? sigh) you can't actually desire sex, can't want it, or you can want it but you also have to pretend not to because good girls don't (but I do). And I'm so so tired of it. SO tired. People have enough hang ups about sex all on their own without media reinforcing this bullshit.

Last week I said that I would hesitantly trust this show with an asexual storyline. I want to take that back now. My trust is revoked, you couldn't handle it properly, show. There's literally nothing wrong with being hesitant about sleeping with someone for the first time (or not wanting to sleep with anyone at all), but there's a way to do it and this show...did not.

Well that theory that the old man is future!Kawi is certainly looking more correct. How else would he know to show up and scold him.

I know how you can get rich, Kawi. Be Pisaeng's sugar baby.

Okay sir, hush your face about in-depth analysis. I am feeling very called out right now.

Yesss thank you dude. It's like with dad. Kawi couldn't prevent his death because he was always going to go. Dad's death is a fixed point. But what Kawi could do - what he finally did do - was fix his relationship with him. He opened up, he told his dad he loves him, he did the work.

Alrighty so we're flashbacking through the rest of college now? This is weird, especially after going through everything else so slowly (if they fast fowarded through a Not redemption I will throw the most massive fit (and for once be glad for this stupid shadowban, since then no one will see the massive tantrum)). If you've done all you meant to why are you not going back to the future (heh) Kawi?

Why is he still asking this question?

And now we're montaging through living together. This ep is turning into the Oprah of montages - and you get a montage! And you get a montage. This makes me more certain than ever that Pisaeng has been doing his own time traveling. The domesticity is cute though.

Pear and Kwan arrived to Christmas together! Still shipping it even though I know it won't come true. Sigh. At least Not isn't at the table. For a hot second I thought he was, that Pear was hugging him, and I almost lost it. But nope, it was Kawi lol. I was about to throw down with this show.

Do NOT test me show I am not in the mood.

Fifteenth time's the charm, eh, Pearmei? Granted it's not like you know that since you don't remember all the timelines, but still.

Me the second I see Pisaeng pulling out those pills: are they gonna kill him off? Would they do that?

Why is this where my brain goes? I mean, it was instant. Just, BOOM are they killing Pisaeng.

Ah, the good old wipe them down when they're sick trope. Good times.

"Do you think I'll die?" Pffft, me and Pisaeng are on the same wavelength. But also maybe don't tease Kawi like that the dude has several issues around his loved ones dying okay. Don't make him pull out that music box, Pisaeng.

HAHAHA is that the first grey hair oh noooo! Fun fact: my sis found her first one when she was like 22. She was not best pleased.

Oh no all this joking about Pisaeng dying but is it going to be Kawi instead? And why do I keep expecting death? People get ill, self.

Ugh, yes, the harsh realities of having no rights regarding the partner you've lived with for years - rights that would be given by default to a straight couple. God I hate it, but I'm happy to see this drum being banged. Because it should be.

Poor Pisaeng. So maybe he didn't travel in time before, but he sure as hell is going to now, because I think Kawi is actually going to die. Or Pisaeng is going to be so terrified of it happening that he can't help himself. But to change it or to make sure it never happens by cutting himself off from Kawi before it can? And then staying in the closet, going abroad, marrying Pear?

Because I truly think that he'd lock them all into a shitty future just to save Kawi's life.

Well at least he tells Kawi what happened.

Have to say, the end part saved this ep for me. I don't know if it's just that I'm already kind of pissed off (thanks tumblr!) or if this ep just started off rough, but I was not feeling it at the beginning. I really want to like this show all the way through. Please don't screw it up in the final hour. Please.

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 6.4

Avery was awake. Saying Verona was working on it might have hurt her, karmically.

lol

On the reverse side were their names. Beneath each were keywords, key traits, and random thoughts that each of them had had about themselves.

oh I want to read this. Maybe an extra material?

Lucy characteristics:

sense of justice injustice

conscious

protective

frustrated

clearheaded when upset

I like all of these for her! I think the justice/injustice thing makes sense: not so much seeking out right as correcting wrong. Not that people get what's deserved, but that they don't get away with what's not. And on the "clearheaded when upset" thing: even when dealing with Paul and let loose her emotions, she stayed really focused and coherent in a way I don't think the other two could/would have.

“The coolest moments I’ve seen with you and the practice is when you shine through. It’s great when you… I don’t know the term.  Illustrate yourself?  Exaggerate yourself? Even when you’re not actually using the practice, you’ll do this thing where you seem to decide ‘oh, it’s on’.  A lot of people who aren’t used to it would run away screaming or get stuck.  I go quiet with all that.  And you just tackled it."

yesss. I feel like this meshes well with the setting an arena thing Guilherme taught her: making people meet her on her terms and ground.

I mean… I think I definitely don’t want a weapon. I don’t regret using it for awakening, but like… if I used it for awakening, and then I used it in the Paul thing, and I choose it as my path for the future…? Is that me? I don’t want that to be me.

she brought this up early on! After the confrontation with John, wondering if she should look for a familiar who was comfortable with combat so she wouldn't have to be. Which is part of why I've been focused more on her as the face of the group than as a fighter.

This whole thing was asking her to do a lot of introspection.  At the same time, she was opening herself up for the analysis of her friends.

the mortifying ordeal of being known

“The kind that runs six days a week, eight to five, with study sessions in the evenings and on Sundays.  If you aren’t part of a study group the teachers will give you very disappointed talks and call your parents until you focus appropriately on your studies.”

what the fuck. possibly more disturbing than the fucked up practice bits

“A forswore B, and then A got expelled,” Melody said.  “And friends of A and B were up in arms, fighting over who was right.  This feels like that.”

wonder if either of these guys will show up

“It’d suck to avoid all friendships for the whole summer just because things are hairy,” Avery said.

and Corbin and Melody are Dabblers, which probably means their family isn't that powerful, so I'm inclined to be well disposed toards them

“My dad says I can’t get a familiar until I’m older,” Melody said, scratching Snowdrop.  “I have to turn sixteen, then live with it for two years before I seal it with the ritual.”

honestly pretty reasonable

I was personally involved in one case where an Apsasû, a divine servant and protector of humanity, took it on herself to shelter a group of humans.  She kept them in what you could describe as a Garden of Eden, curing all that ailed.  Faith, physiology, and mind twisted and knotted despite or because of her efforts.

... this reminds me of the Doe that Avery talked to

Lucy’s notes consisted largely of ‘yikes’ ‘frigging yikes’ ‘huge yikes’ ‘yikes and yikes’… and ended with the ‘oh no’ line. Subhumans? Wow and yikes.

I am going to let Lucy's notes speak for me here

It felt weird, just taking for granted that he’d said he wanted to apologize.

I guess the not-lying thing could end up helping with the uncertainty that's normally an issue with microaggressions?

“If you were to draw a picture of yourself, no context, in the utmost quality, meant to hang in a gallery, what would you be doing?”

(for me it would be reading)

Theft, some violent crime. He dealt with some criminal groups as a youth, only a few years older than you are now.

huh.

It would be ugly to forgive Charles but not Alexander, simply because I know Alexander’s victim but Charles’s were anonymous.

I'm with Lucy on this one, I don't agree with this but I'm having hard time articulating it. Two elements: Charles was actively working on making amends, while we haven't seen any signs that Alexander even regrets his actions. The other: the difference between societal forgiveness and interpersonal forgiveness. I'd argue that everybody deserves the chance at a fresh start and new approach to life, but don't have the right to that second chance coming from the same group the offenses were committed to. I think it's hard, as someone who was friends/colleagues with both men, to forgive Alexander without taking his side over Charles. Meanwhile Charles's victims aren't being further harmed by some guy they've never met looking past Charles's actions.

[walkingstackofbooks]

DS9 3x04 Equilibrium thoughts (I'm re-watching, so there may be future spoilers)

Odo is stirring so intently, it's sweet how genuinely he finds this interesting <3

Julian looks so scared of beets... and to be fair, the idea of having to eat beetroot just to not offend someone else is awful, I understand completely. *shudder* Tfw someone makes you try something just because you "haven't had it properly" before.

I love Kira's civilan clothes <3

"You look so cute." I had the same thought, Kira!

Ah! This episode!

"None of Dax's hosts, even Jadzia, had any musical ability." It is noticeable that sometimes she's more Dax than Jadzia.

Huh, it's more believable that Sisko made an illegal move than that you weren't paying attention?

Oh no, it's something deeper than that...

Kira's astonishment. She knows something is definitely wrong.

Creepy mask person

CREEPY MASK PERSON

Yeah this is disturbing

Jadzia's back <3

"the only major trauma the Dax symbiont ever suffered..." Seven lifetimes and only one major trauma?! I wonder what is defined as major... And then Jadzia comes along and lives her life 😅

Weird to start talking to Sisko and say "I suggest we get her back" - I'm guessing this is Starfleet Getting Permission From The Commander Speak, but also she's right in front of you, Julian, don't talk about her like she's not there?

I do love Jadzia and Julian's friendship <3

"When I was younger I was terrified of [doctors]." I do not remember this line, and that's so fascinating! Again, fits in so well with the GE stuff.

"I used to think that if I didn't behave, they'd make sure I got sick." This is actually heartbreaking to think of little Jules terrified on Adigeon Prime.

"I decided that I wanted to know what they knew, be as smart as they were... And you know what I learned [at medical school? That all I really wanted to do was help people." He's such a goodie and I love him to bits

"Now if that little story didn't put you to sleep, I don't know what will." Aw, I think he's been more vulnerable and revealing than he meant to. Awkward, self-aware Julian <3

I was very tense from when he offered her a bed that some sort of cringeworthy joke or comment would be made.... but no! A whole conversation without any awkward creepiness added in for no reason! Progress!

I read a fanfic the other day which described the uniform as having a violet undershirt and I had genuinely never noticed it before, I'd always thought it was grey, and now I cannot stop noticing it.

"Oh. Oh, that is not good. Not good at all. Tell me, how bad are the dreams?" So the guardian saying this straight out is terrifying, but also pretty validating

We always see symbionts having to be transferred host to host straight away, do they ever return to the pools or is this just where they begin their lives?

Julian's anger - "How do you know that unless you try!" and Sisko's calming hand, although I imagine he's just as frustrated. #siskoshir

Love it when Sisko delivers a threat, he's always so cool and composed.

"It's her life and her decision." Yesss, Sisko

Wait, were they going to just operate on her and take the symbiont out without letting her know?! That's awful! But it looks like they wouldn't have woken her up without Sisko's intervention even though it's evidently possible! What!!!

Saying "Julian" as soon as she wakes up - she may be scared of doctors, but she trusts her friend :3

"If you want to know who you are, it's important to know who you've been." For you more than most....

Solid episode, I can't believe the food scene was at the beginning, that seems so long ago!

[unluckywisher]

holy shit so this is a first for me but uhh…

nero x mc!reader where it goes from co-workers to close friends to lovers but reader is the most sexually and relationship-ly inexperienced mf alive

you get to write what nero will be like in this scenario cuz i trust your vision 🫡

(ps can i be 🤡 anon)

YESSS NEROOOO LET'S GOOO 🙂‍↕️💜🫡 i made the reader hella oblivious i'm sorry if they come off as dumb. also i made this really awkward. (why is this so LONG. HELP🧍‍♀️) NSFW WARNING!!!

You both had been coworkers for a short time. It was easy, really, he didn't bother you and you didn't bother him.

One day there was a Hunters Association event where it was mandatory to attend (otherwise, he wouldn't have gone).

It was a charity event, where a few items were being auctioned.

It didn't really interest you, so you went to find the counter where they were serving free drinks and ordered something light.

There, away from the crowd of people, was also Nero. Sitting at one of the tables, alone, on his phone.

You didn't want to seem like a bad coworker, so you approached him to greet him. Just a short greeting.

He looked up from his phone and nodded as a way of acknowledgment.

"You aren't with the rest?" He asked. The tone was more of surprise than curiosity.

"I don't plan on bidding on any of the stuff, so..."

You ended up sitting at his table, agreeing to be each on their own phone in silence. It was oddly nice, if a bit awkward.

The next day at work, Nero seemed to have warmed up to you a bit.

While on your break, the coffee machine finished pouring yours while you were throwing something away, and Nero passed it to you to get his.

One time, you helped him fix the printer after it got stuck.

They were simple gestures, but they were new.

Little by little, every day, you got closer.

Until some time later, when it became a habit to hang out together.

Now, Nero's crush on you was very obvious to everyone. Everyone except you. Mostly because you have never had any relationships, and you don't want to assume he feels something more for you.

It's really frustrating when he invites you to go to the cinema and you suggest bringing the rest of your friends, or when he brings you some pastries and you share them with everyone at the office.

To be fair, he isn't being clear with his feelings either. He is still a very shy mess.

In any case, he persists. And this time, he has a plan so you'll go out on a date with him on your own.

His master plan: The next charity event.

He has hopes that it will be just like the last time, and you will both end up alone together again.

It works. You order your drink and sit at his table.

He's been hyping himself up the whole week, practicing what he was going to say...

"I need to tell you something."

"Hm? What's up?" You say casually, with no inclination of where this conversation is going.

He looks down and fidgets with his hands, "You are an amazing friend, and I hope that this won't change anything between us if you don't feel the same, but... I like you."

You tilt your head, "I like you too, Nero! You're also an amazing friend."

Okay, that's not what he meant.

"No, no, I like you as more than a friend..."

Oh. You stared at him. And stared. You blushed. "Wait, what?"

"I-if you don't feel the same, that's okay! I just... Wanted to get it off my chest..."

Could it be? You hadn't really thought about it until now, you hadn't given yourself the opportunity to consider if you liked him, since relationships never usually worked out for you but now... Maybe you felt the same.

"I... I think..." You looked around, flustered. What were you supposed to say? Every word sounded embarrassing in your head. "I... Like you, too..."

"You do!?" He almost stood up.

It was a very back-and-forth repetitive conversation, honestly, with both of you going 'you like me? are you sure? in a romantic way?' several times at each other.

He reached across the table and shakily took your hand in his. You both sat there, looking down, blushing, hand in hand, in silence, for several minutes.

And that was that.

The next day at work, neither could look at the other in the eye. Him, out of embarrassment. You, because you didn't know how you were supposed to act. Did he expect you to come over and give him a kiss? Should you go and kiss his cheek?

You did. "G-good morning, Nero..."

He froze and slooowly looked up at you. "Good... Morning..."

You were about to turn and leave, when he stood up from his desk and kissed your cheek in return.

The first week of you being a couple, that's all you did. Holding hands and kisses on the cheek.

The second week, though, Nero got a little impatient. He wanted a proper kiss. Unless you said no, of course.

You ready to leave work, the office almost empty, when he called you over.

"Hey... I'm fine with taking it slow, but I was wondering, if you might want to- To, um..." He pushed up his glasses. "To kiss? An- an actual kiss I mean. On the lips."

You turned red. Part of you had been dreading this, since you didn't know how to kiss, but you also knew you wanted to kiss him, and you would have to do it at some point.

You nodded faintly. He gulped.

His lips pressed to yours. ... ... Oh, right, you had to close your eyes. Five seconds passed. ... Were you... Supposed to do something? Both of your bodies stood a bit apart, his hands on your shoulders being the only point of contact apart from your lips. He pulled back. That wasn't how you expected a kiss on the lips to feel. He was the first to speak.

"Uh... Have you ever... Kissed someone before?" "No..." "R-really? Me neither..." "Uh..." "I think... We did something wrong." "Maybe we can try again tomorrow...?" You felt so embarrassed, you couldn't do that again right now. He agreed.

The next day. Oof, the next day. He had watched so many videos on how to kiss, he had ended up watching porn, and one thing led to another, he jerked off to the thought of you. He couldn't face you.

You asked him if he wanted to try the kiss again and he just shook his head, flustered. He was scared of getting hard.

That whole week, he avoided you. You started to get worried. What if the kiss had been so bad that he wanted to break up with you? No! The relationship would be over before it started! You had to do something!

You invited him over to your house with the premise of needing his help setting up a program in your computer. He was nervous to be in your house, but also eager.

Before his visit, you had looked up kissing tutorials. You hadn't gone as far down into the rabbit hole as him, though. Just kissing.

And so, as soon as he stepped into your house, you didn't give him time to react - you kissed him.

This time it was a lot better than the last, since you both knew what to do. Still, it took him a moment to realize what was happening. It lasted longer and was sweeter, your lips finally moving against each other.

He pulled back a bit breathless, "...what did you invite me over for?" Oooooh his mind was in the gutter.

You said, very confidently, without knowing what you were getting into, "To do couples' stuff."

It was overrrrrrrrr. So over for you.

"You really... You want to... Oh... I also want to. I didn't know if you would be okay with us doing that..."

Bless the lack of communication in this relationship.

He kissed you again, his arms around you. He pushed you deeper into your apartment, both of you landing on the couch. It escalated into a full make out session, with you keeping up as much as you could.

He was on top of you, face red, glasses almost falling off. He breathed, "You are so attractive... I-I'm not sure where to start... Um... Should I take off my clothes? Or yours? I-I don't know."

Wait, wait, take off his clothes?? Oh dear. Technically, this was 'couples' stuff', but it was going faster than you thought. You weren't completely against it, though. There was a strange heat coursing through you after all that making out.

"I don't k-know either."

Messily, you took each other's clothes off, blushing every time a new patch of skin got revealed.

His hard dick is revealed and you just stare at it. In awe? It's difficult to know what you're thinking from his perspective, but you're actually kind of entranced. That thing is... Supposed to go inside you, right?

Since he watched porn, he's a bit more aware of what he needs to do. Still, what he saw was far from reality.

"This might um... Hurt." He said, at least. You nodded. It couldn't hurt that much. People did this all the time.

Not without effort, he aligned himself with your entrance and slid the tip in. Oh. Okay. That's actually a bit uncomfortable. You winced, and he stopped.

"Are you okay?" "...I think so. It's just... bigger than I thought... Or... I'm smaller than I thought...? Does it hurt for you?" "N-no, it actually feels really good." "Oh... Do you mind going slowly?" The definition of awkward sex if there ever was one, really.

After quite a number of minutes, that got unbearable for him, he managed to get somewhat in. He didn't want to hurt you anymore, so he settled for not burying himself up the hilt.

Then, he began to move. It wasn't as pleasant at first as you thought, but you eventually set into a rhythm that wasn't that bad. You were nowhere near to cumming, but at least it was bearable.

Just as it got a bit interesting, with you both kissing again, he pulled back, slid his dick out and came all over your stomach with a string of moans.

"You... You finished?" You asked. "Y-yeah... You didn't?" You shook your head. Welp. "Sorry."

Luckily, the video he watched also had an oral sex portion, which he promptly used as a guide to help you finish. It took him... A bit... Since you weren't sure what you were 'chasing' exactly, as you had never had an orgasm, but it soon felt... Pretty good.

Your breathing got labored, and you bucked your hips towards him instinctively towards him, and soon you were crashing down that same slope as him.

Once you recovered he kept asking if you had actually cummed, and if you had enjoyed it, and if you would want to do it again, which felt a bit overwhelming after all of that. You felt really embarrassed and exposed.

"C-can we talk about that later...? I want to just, I don't know, rest together?" You said timidly.

He nodded, understanding that he was being too much. He hugged you and you both laid on the couch, growing to feel comfortable with being in such an intimate setting.

You both still had so much to learn...