#but it just annoys me. like the concept of it

[flqwerjo]

˖ ݁˖ ❀⋆｡˚ ─── 𝑫𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑟𝑒 𝑼𝑛𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠ℎ

˚.❀𝑨𝐿𝑇𝐸𝑅𝑁𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑉𝐸𝐿𝑌ᵎᵎ getting hot and steamy with your boyfriend while he's wearing the outfits from his concept photo

˚.❀𝑮𝐸𝑁𝑅𝐸/𝐶𝑊 ─── nsfw (mdni), scenarios (jungwon + hyung line), blowjobs , fingering , riding , shoe humping(??), implied pet play ˚.❀𝑾𝑂𝑅𝐷 𝐶𝑂𝑈𝑁𝑇 ─── 1.1k

𝒄ℎ𝑒𝑐𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑢𝑡ᵎᵎ (˶˃⤙˂˶)

˚.❀𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑤𝑜𝑛

His bottom lip was tucked between his teeth , his eyes closing as his head tilted back , trying his hardest not to let any noise slip out ── the others were still there after all. He should've known better than to bring you with him to the photoshoot for their concept photos knowing very well just how erotic the "Make" concept was. Well , at least he knows now that latex gloves , a black suit and an eyepatch make you absolutely feral. You didn't even give him a second to breathe when he was done with his shooting and ready to clock out , your hand dragging him away into an empty dressing room. "Fuck.. you really couldn't wait until we were home... keep going", he mumbled under his breath , his eyes glancing down ── even if he could only see through one , the eyepatch didn't hinder him from seeing the sinful view. Your lips stretched around the girth of his cock , drops of Saliva running down to your chin from how sloppy and eager you were sucking him off ── but his eyes narrowed when he saw the subtle movement of your arm between your thighs , hearing your pussy squelching every time you plunged your fingers knuckles deep inside. It made his cock twitch in your mouth , his clawed latex fingers tightening their grip on your hair and scratching your scalp. He was close , too fast for his own liking but he knew he had to be done quickly before one of his members or a staff member came in.

"I promise I'll take proper care of you once we're home.. now be a good girl and take every single drop I'll shoot down your throat"

˚.❀𝐻𝑒𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑢𝑛𝑔

Of course he knew what he was doing , he had to bite back his smirk when he saw the way you rubbed your thighs together when he got his photos taken. That god damn slutty fit of his had your cunt clenching around nothing and getting flooded with slick , your eyes focused on his fingers as he pulled his white dress shirt further down to show of the SFX make up on his chest that said "Monster in me" ── what a fucking slut of a men he was. You didn't know if you should be mad or grateful for the outfit his stylists gave him ── either way , it had your pussy crying and wanting to get filled up. The collar around his neck wasn't helping at all , images popping up in your mind as you started to fantasize. He would look so pretty underneath you with his current outfit , the flushed makeup on his face just made you remember how his face always flushed when you'd ride his cock or overstimulate both yourself and him. Fuck , you needed to be fucked , now. "You're so eager...", his lips brushed against the side of your neck , his fingers digging into your hips ── he wanted to sound annoyed , even though he wasn't , but your pussy just felt so warm and wet around his cock , he couldn't act annoyed even if he really tried. "Don't act like you weren't eager yourself , you got hard as soon as you walked over to me", you mumbled under your breath , trying to keep your volume in check ── maybe fucking in a bathroom stall wasn't the best idea , it certainly wasn't romantic , but at least you've gotten your fill now.

˚.❀𝐽𝑎𝑦

"You sure are having your fun... can't this wait until we're home?", his words weren't as threatening as he wanted them to sound , his cock was betraying him with the way it started to chub up under his slacks. He was the next in line to get his photo's taken , the concept photo where he'd be tied up and he asked you to tie him up because he didn't want a staff member to do it ── what a bad idea that was. "Oh come on... you have 10 minutes left , one little blowjob won't hurt", you replied back with a small pout , your hands caressing from his chest down to his crotch , your hand squeezing the growing bulge before you rubbed your palm over it , a hushed hiss coming from him as his eyes closed upon the contact. "You better be quick", he mumbled to which you clicked your tongue , shaking your head a little ── an almost sadistic grin on your face as you pulled on the rope tied around him to pull his chest against yours. "Oh baby ... the roles are reversed now. You will listen to me now , I have the ropes in my hand", he should have known better than to ask you to tie him up , he knew that this was payback for the last couple days when he edged you too long for your liking , now it was his turn to be tortured. This was going to be a very very long 10 minutes for him.

˚.❀𝐽𝑎𝑘𝑒

He felt bad , but not as bad as he felt good ── why have the two of you never tried handcuffs before sooner? He came back home from his photo shoot with a little surprise , the handcuffs he had used as a prop for his concept photos ── he secretly took them with him without anyone knowing. He was beyond turned on , his cock was getting milked dry from your pussy and he was crying tears of joy ── well actually overstimulation but this was pure heaven for him. His teary eyes opened half way to look through his eyelashes , feeling himself getting hypnotized as he watched the way your tits were bouncing along with you. It didn't matter how much he was tugging at the handcuffs , they just wouldn't come off ── but he wasn't complaining , he wanted this , he wanted to be restrained. And next time it was going to be you , he wasn't going to sneakily return those babies.

˚.❀𝑆𝑢𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑛

He felt anxious , but the thrill only heightened his lust whenever he heard a noise outside of the dressing room , his fingers tightening around your hair strands. "Wear a pair of specs and you have your girl on her knees like a slut", he mumbled under his breath as his half lidded eyes looked down at you , his foot right between your thighs while he was busy fucking your face ── his cock stretching your throat every time he pressed your nose against his abdomen. He clicked his tongue when he felt and saw the way you were humping his leather shoe like a dog in heat , but the sight was so fucking hot to him. "Such a needy little slut... so fucking dirty , look at you humping my shoe like a fucking bitch in heat. Don't get my shoe dirty with your arousal , if you do , you'll lick it it clean with your tongue like a good little pup..", his voice was low and gruff as he said that , the way his voice sounded only made you whimper in response while your eyes shut tightly.

"Don't you dare cum ... I won't fuck you tonight if you do"

[cometcrystal]

PNF S5 SPOILIES!!!

MY THOTS

summer block buster/cloudy with a chance of mom - i count these as 1 ep because its the same plot. anyway this is a REALLY strong comeback ep. it doesn't feel unnecessarily self-referential, and the family dynamics are soooo cute and lovely. also the song bangs. 9/10

submarine sandwich submarine - this one had moments that made me laugh but overall it was just fine/good. i liked it but the bigstandout for me was when baljeet went perhaps in hindsight we should not have made our submarine out of FOOOOOOD. also "i like my biscuits hot". 7/10

license to bust - solid fuckin episode. dont have a bunch of thoughts on it but the song was good so 8/10

dry another day - not suuuper memorable but i enjoyed that buford and baljeet were on the same sled. also the mothermugger is a really really really good pun. they wanna say motherfucker so bad. 6.5/10

deconstructing doof - dwampy said we are going to make an episode that is so meta. i thought the therapist character was annoying but the plot of the episode was genius + i liked that candace is going to therapy now. good for her! now someone please get her a therapist who is actually good at their job. 8/10

tropey mctropeface - i really liked this one. it was fucking weird in the same way that remains of the platypus was weird. just experimental and goofy. 8/10

biblio-blast - lawrence fletcher is the only man on earth 7/10

a chip to the vet - i actually liked this one a lot??? i thought it was funny and clever! i felt a connection with the lady who owned an iguana and a tarantula. the concept of a rancho being chipped is incredibly funny. also good pet mode perry moments + jeremy mentioned. canderemy come back to me..... 9/10

more than an intern - this ep just solidified the fact that i dont like major monogram. little fucking bitch. pay your employees you cunt 7/10

the aurora perry-alis - IM SO TIREDDD OF MONTESSA SORRY. whether or not AYA was retconned this all just feels pointless. if an m/f ship does not appeal to my hetjoshi senses, i consider it a total failure. because im a dyke who is a connoisseur of m/f ships so i know my stuff. but the animation of the sky was soooo fucking beautiful so it gets points for that. 6/10

lord of the firesides - this fucking ruled. one of my fav songs of the entire season. also little girls just do this even without an inator because they crave revolution. 9/10

the candace suit - maybe this is a controversial opinion but i liked this episode a LOT. it was creepy and weird, but that's why it's HILARIOUS. everyone just going along with it and putting on the suits makes so much sense because this is a group of people who are deeply weird. buford's song also felt wayyy less cursed in its final form than in the storyboard. so happy he's becoming more comfortable in himself. 9/10

agent t for teen - MY FAVORITE OF THE SEASON BY FAR!!!!!! STACY HIRANO YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!!! she is so fucking cool. literally the ONLY thing i would have added to this episode was a mention of her talking to vanessa for like. a second. but flawless otherwise. i couldn't have written a better agent stacy episode myself. 10/10

the haberdasher - i was just thinking about the songwriting video dan posted the entire time. and the song is just as cute as i remember. also big news for annoying people (mothman doof) 7/10

out of character - exterra...... 7/10

meap me in st louis - underwhelming! but i did like stabby barf pain + candace getting moments to shine. meap is meaping like he is sick with consumption now 6.75/10

no slumber party - gonna keep it real with you guys. i published a fic a few days ago where the boys host a slumber party (without ANY knowledge of this episode coming), and i think i blindly executed that concept 10x better than this canon episode did. it was a huge bummer that candace didn't get to have any fun once the groups joined, and there was no stanessa, which is illegal. 5/10

the ballad of bubba doof - bless your heart lunch 6/10

general thoughts

jeremy's new voice is suitable. i am content with it if we cannot get mitchel musso to record lines from prison. whoever this new mystery VA is, he does a good job of capturing jeremy's vibe. i just hope jeremy doesnt get pushed to the wayside in future eps...bring my boy back....he's dating candace he should be around more often

2025 is a good year to be a bufordhead

i think everyone who is questioning why/is disappointed about doof being evil again/candace busting again needs to relax. it's a heavily formulaic cartoon get over it

this isn't about s5 specifically but i like pet mode perry more than agent perry and these new eps had a lot of really good pet mode perry moments so it just got me thinking about that. hes just a little loaf of a creature with nubby paws who loves his family so so so so so much

[thatchrollostan]

im just gonna say it here: do not call Levi 'daddy' while you're having sex

maybe it's because the concept of a father figure is foreign to him, or maybe it's less about offense and more pure bewilderment, like he couldn’t wrap his head around why you’d throw a nickname at him that sounded like something a kid would call their dad. he wasn’t that to you.

it hits him so hard that he just stops doing whatever he was doing to you. although he definitely knows what type of 'daddy' you mean in this context, but still, it shocks even him, how much he hates being called that. and he just looks at you with gaped mouth and a hint of disgust.

"what the fuck was that?" he breathes, his face twisting like he'd just tasted something rotten. that godawful nickname hit him like lightning in broad daylight.

you froze, too. the word had slipped out before you even realized. you were too lost in the moment to stop it, but it made the tension between you two dissipated in less than a second and you didn't like it one bit. It was obvious that he didn't appreciate being called that.

you couldn’t help the sheepish grin that tugged at your lips. “...my bad.”

Levi let out an annoyed click of his tongue, dragging a hand through his damp hair as he looked away. he swallowed hard, closing his eyes momentarily, like trying to choke down the memory itself, but it still clung to him. eventually, he just sighed and turned his gaze back to you.

"don’t call me that again,” he muttered, dipping down to press a lazy kiss against your neck. "i'm not your damn father. if you're actually looking for one, Erwin would be a better candidate than me."

the way Levi was so repulsed at the nickname almost made you laugh, but you got the message. no way in hell are you calling him that again.

[kittyit]

even now once in a while, when I really need to rest, I will go on reels. and it feels way too good. it's like the concept of doing meth on the weekends. it's horrifying. so please understand this criticism is not from someone who does the whole Oh, I've never been on TikTok thing. I don't understand it. I don't understand how anyone could do that! which I find incredibly annoying and unhelpful. Part of the reason it upsets me so much because I understand exactly what it is and why it is so enjoyable. And that frightens me and horrifies me and I understand that the corporations profiting off of this are absolutely my enemy and are treating me as a product and do not care about what happens to me. And we are literally at war and it's incredibly unfair because they are an army of designers who utilize dark patterns and do their best to make an addictive user interface and have legal representation to fight any regulations which are all coming way too late anyway. And I am just one person and you are just one person. And part of the function of this industry is to make you into just one person, one unit, one screen time number racking up ad views, buying influenced products. I can't take it!

[bleachbabee]

Bleach: If they had a job in the Human World

Some Bleach headcanons ♡

Shuhei Hisagi, Yumichika Ayasegawa, Shunsui Kyoraku, Retsu/Yachiru Unohana, Kenpachi Zaraki, Sosuke Aizen, Byakuya Kuchiki

1. Shuhei Hisagi: Journalist

"What do you mean nobody agreed to give an interview? Oh, they're busy, huh? Aww... Does this mean we'll have to discontinue my section in the magazine again?" A sincere, hardworking journalist who wants nothing more than to make authentic information accessible to everyone. He's a bit unlucky when it comes to getting access to it himself, though.

2. Yumichika Ayasegawa: Beauty Pageant Judge

"Ugly. Ugly. And ugly. Did you people seriously think you were pretty enough to contest in a beauty pageant? Especially when people like yours truly exist in this world? How delusional."

A judgmental narcissist who does not believe in the concept of inner beauty. He is also an influencer who preaches the importance of being pretty.

3. Shunsui Kyoraku: Wine Taster

"Got any other drinks for me to taste?"

A man who loves to drink, so picked up a job as a wine taster.

4. Retsu Unohana: Doctor by day, Professional Fighter by night

"You mustn't overexert yourself. Just sit back, relax, and let me treat you. Doctor's orders."

A kind, cool-headed woman who cares about her colleagues and patients alike. Nobody dares to disobey her.

5. Kenpachi Zaraki: Professional Fighter

"Oh, ya think ya can handle these fists, huh? Well, be my guest, then. Just don't start cryin' when I beat ya." A hot-headed fighter who despises having to fight weak opponents. He also gets extremely annoyed whenever his fights get cancelled.

6. Sosuke Aizen: Intelligence Agent

"Everything is going according to my plan."

A calm, calculating intelligence agent whose attention to detail is chilling. He always has at least 10 backup plans for every situation.

7. Byakuya Kuchiki: Heir to Old Money

"Let us please return to the task at hand."

A stoic, reserved nobleman who rarely voices his true feelings. He's so rich, he doesn't need a job.

A/N: Let me know if you enjoyed it and would like a part 2! ♡

[slusheeduck]

Also I have been chewing on the idea of Ralsei since the beginning and while I've seen the "Ralsei's the headband" and "Ralsei's the green crayon" theories, I think he's more of an anomaly than that. I can't say what exactly he is but that's not going to stop me from verbally vomiting up all my thoughts here.

I think Ralsei is a lot more abstract than other Darkners as a concept, and his entire purpose, essentially, is to be Kris's aid. I don't think he had his form (or even his personality) as Ralsei until Kris and Susie first showed up, and he's trying desperately to endear himself to Kris specifically, in the best way he can, because this is all his existence is meant to be. He's never hugged anyone, he's never had cake (despite making it), and he has no subjects; I wouldn't be surprised if he was just waiting there, suspended while knowing so much about the Dark World, until Kris finally showed up.

While I think he knows a lot of things ABOUT Kris, he didn't have the hands on experience of working with them as a person, which is why I think so many people found him off-putting in Ch 1 + 2. He emphasizes being smiley and nice because that's what being happy is, and being happy means that he's doing his job. I know his reaction to Kris having a breakdown post-Spamton is unsettling, but I genuinely think he didn't have a reference point of what to say outside of "Just don't worry about it!", because he'd never dealt with ANY sort of emotions firsthand.

Susie's the anomaly. He knows the prophesy says there'll be a monster/girl who will aid in saving the world, but Kris--someway or another--is the major influence on the Dark World, and thus she's not as important to his purpose. But then the unthinkable happens: she befriends Ralsei. She treats him like a real person, she goofs around and teases him, they get to go to the carnival together. And through that, she starts influencing him. Obviously he's (probably) never going to be a "bad kid," but he jokes back, he takes her opinions and tastes into account, and by Chapter 3 he's truly enjoying spending time with her playing games.

And in doing so, he's becoming more solid and real. Ch 3 shows so much more of a personality for him, and he fights back a little bit (WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE HORSE? was a big moment for me of "Oh! He's annoyed! I haven't seen that!"). And, truthfully, I think that's incredibly distressing for him, because it's not what he was meant to do. He was meant to serve (hence why he was so comfortable in the butler set-up) and be whatever Kris needed him to be. But now Susie's here. And Susie is a huge advocate for being unabashedly yourself, and he's developing a self to be due to proximity.

And Chapter 4 is basically an 8-hour breakdown for him, because he wasn't supposed to be more than a help-meet. He's forming opinions outside of "be kind", he's being more outspoken and candid, and worst of all, he's experiencing true feelings. And that's terrible for him, because he knows how the story ends. Everyone has a role, and his is to support Kris. He doesn't want to distress them with the details initially, because that's not very "good servant" of him to do. But now it's personal. Now the ending hurts. And he's not a servant anymore; the heroes are his friends, and he's willing to take every hurt, every struggle, every obstacle if it means that they're okay. And he's still trying to smile and be positive, because it's still in his programming, but it's so much harder to now that he has a whole personhood in him that wasn't there before.

I also think that's why we see such a different side of him in the last couple hours of the game, where he's open about the danger they're all in and upfront with the fact that he doesn't know how to proceed. Before his "Look, I'm smiling! I'm happy!" moment, he's showing a range of emotions we haven't seen from him. He's anxious, he's scared, he's desperate and screams at the Knight to not open another fountain. But he also takes risks like jumping onto the Titan, and then he urges everyone to attack. He's directing instead of just helping, and I think until the "I'm smiling" moment, he forgets what he is. He's not the Prince, he's not a servant. He's Ralsei, and he's helping his friends.

I don't know if we'll find out what Ralsei truly is until Chapter 7, but I think 5 - 7 are going to have him be more proactive and less cagey about the Dark World, and I think his developing personhood is going to be a BIG factor in it.

[officeobject]

OH MY DOG, THERE'S MORE, CHRISTIAN LUCIFER-HATERS?! LIKE, I AM SHAKING OUT OF JOY!

He is unpleasant to look at, and not as in "he's ugly", but as in "maybe electronics SHOULD'VE destroyed my eyes", so THAT'S a tough thing, and even besides aesthetic stuff for me too, it was hate at first sight - I mean I was already biased against him, but I separate this show so much from Christianity, and I knew Alastor would manipulate him too, but holy shit, I was just rooting for Alastor to beat Lucifer (who IS a bad dad, even if people say "he's good NOW" - like, he was bad when he mattered most), and Lucifer not only has an unbearable personality (that convinces me that any sexual attraction towards him doesn't involve aesthetic attraction, nor to over half his personality), but is the "but he's depressed!" Type, which is seriously annoying, and also reminds me of IRL people in life.

People don't hate him THAT much, but any hate is a joyful reuninuon of validation. It can be hard to think you're seeing things right, when there's fans out there, and the show itself wants you to pick a side in the fight but not hate him in the end, further supported by the characters, which is one of the good things of the Hellaverse critical community.

Furthermore, he was barely there for his kid when she was, you know, a kid (there seriously needs to be a word for "adult who is someone's kid"), which leaves the work to everyone else, and Charlie, as neglected by him, but his issues are somehow suddenly manageable, when he needs something. He THEN played nice, and got into a fight with a resident who she seems to enjoy the company of, who gives affection, just because he's jealous, and proceeds to sing a nepotism song while shoving money and bling bling in her face, pretending like he is or WILL be there, and showing off his epic musical skills. In that song he implies she would've otherwise been worthless if she had been an ordinary demon instead of his crotch-spawn (or maybe I misinterpreted), further showing her dreams, people, etc, down (which is also the conflict of the episode), and keeps propping himself up, also saying that people like him. He doesn't do shit, doesn't go to any responsibilities, and as soon as Charlie is legal and alone, she has to face sudden scary responsibilities she might not want or might not have been prepared for. In the song he also tries to kinda fight the concept of found family, and merely shows off his status and power and biology, with singing that honestly could be better. He dresses bad, but proceeds to strut around, mainly fighting Alastor because he's jealous and enjoys being seen as the best and winning, and wants Charlie's favoritism, not because Alastor is actually seen as a threat nor anything, and decided to try some effort, after hearing a song about how Charlie can relate to having a wish or something. He does no good with what he has to improve Hell, yet dares even calling himself good or a boss, and while yes, Alastor DOES make a "deal", with Charlie, and is rude, manipulative, crosses boundaries, and over all evil, Lucifer does nothing for Hell nor Charlie, ALSO plays on her emotions and all, and just SHOWED UP, acting nice, while Alastor has actual likeable traits, and at least didn't NEGLECT CHARLIE IN HER FUNDAMENTAL YEARS WHILE BEING HER FATHER, and was merely those things mentioned - like, again, he brings up found family (she can CHOOSE to have him as a dad), doesn't brag about the power he does nothing with, and didn't neglect nor manipulate her child self and instead manipulated her as an adult, while also being VISUALLY redeeming - at least in comparison.

As a Christian and Lucifer hater,it feels so healing to see other people hate that Hazbin Hotel abomination who is a "depressed lil baby🥺". I used to be neutral to him at first because I didn't expect people to react to him the way they do,but man...seeing him in episode 5 was "Hate at First Sight" for me and I still wish Alastor kicked his manipulative ass out.

Dude tried to bribe his kid and acts like that one relative who only shows up when they want something,yet he get NOVELS of praise written in his name for being "father of the millennia".

I hope those leaks are true and Lute kills him in cold blood just like he deserves.

WAIT LUTE’S GOING TO KILL HIM? OMG I HOPE SO!!!

[lonisaiou]

Girldad Ekko world domination

[keferon]

May I ask what were the best transformers media you ever saw/read?

Well Transformers Prime, Transformers 1986 and IDW comics are having the first place that’s for sure

And then the second place is kind of shared by Fall of Cybertron, Exodus, Prime wars trilogy, Robots in disguise(2001) and Transformers One.

The third place goes to G1, Animated, Earthspark, Armada, War for Cybertron Netflix series, Aligned Robots in disguise, Bumblebee, Rise of the Beasts and Cyberverse because I only liked some little parts of them.

And then I also saw some of the Bay movies, Victory and Headmasters and didn’t like them at all.

Separate first place for J-Decker. It is not exactly Transformers but it is a show about giant robots and I loved it

[nattikay]

the constant inner struggle of a Na'vi speaker/teacher browsing Na'vi OCs

[sunnibits]

potentially hot take but this is a pet peeve of mine

[altschmerzes]

seen one too many snide posts about this in the last week or so but did you know that if you don't enjoy scenes in smut establishing consent or checking in then you simply don't have to read them and you don't have to go online and whine about how they're Consent Posturing and Purity Culture and Sanitizing Everything and God Just Kill Me Now. like you can have a preference without making it into a three act morality play, which is ironically what you are accusing other people of doing.

the same goes for like, detailed content warnings on fics. or content warnings at all. you can just skip those. they're not a sign of Purity Culture Gone Too Far or Those Damn Puriteens or whatever. you can dislike things without being an asshole about them or implying they're Taking Away What's Good And Correct About Fic Or Creativity.

[fatedroses]

Tallphinaud, and him being the elezen brand of lanky muscular that is just misguiding enough to fool enemies into thinking that he can't judo throw someone bigger than him (zenos) with ease.

[averycutesalamander]

i have extremely neutral opinions about SMAUs (social media AUs) but i just thought about what Boothill's role would be in one and im kind of losing my mind about it.

his account handle is @.silvergunshura and he literally only posts clumsy nature photos and occasional pics of his gun. a handful of videos that are just the sound of the wilds. never puts any captions or tags on his posts. extremely long unacknowledged absences with no schedule. double-digit amount of followers at an absolute maximum. absolutely no interaction with his audience. or anyone else on the platform actually. quite frankly he doesn't pay any attention to his following in the slightest. bro simply cannot be bothered. for all he cares he is sending these photos to the void and there are no other users on the platform.

and then he posts one (1) video of him at the shooting range nailing bullseyes left and right like it's nothing. barely half of his body is in frame and most of his face is covered by his hair. someone with a decent following shares it and his entire fucking profile EXPLODES because people will NOT stop talking about how hot he is and it kinda snowballs from there. people go through his entire backlog only to find ZERO other posts with his face or body in them. the best they get is little snippets of his arms. people are frothing at the fucking mouth trying to figure out who he is and nobody knows because he literally hasn't said a single word in his entire posting history. people make theory posts, which obviously gets more people invested in this new mystery. his comments are filled with people speculating about who he is and what the fuck he's doing. someone posts a massive spreadsheet detailing all of the identifiable locations in his posts, and they're literally all over the galaxy. immediately afterwards they're cancelled for some vague allegations about them being a shady intelligentsia guild member guilty of multiple human rights violations and everybody completely forgets about the spreadsheet.

Boothill posts a single blurry photo of his hand feeding a chipmunk and people lose their goddamn minds. he follows this up an hour later with a photo of the same chipmunk sitting on his shoulder that is somehow even blurrier than the last and it briefly trends on the front page. a week later he uploads a video of him playing a harmonica by a campfire, once again barely in frame, lit only by the flickering fire. people brighten the video in a desperate attempt to get a better look at his face, but there's nothing identifiable. someone posts a slightly unhinged video examining the tiniest pixels in every screencap of him that they can find, claiming that he's definitely a halovian because of some extremely blurry details, and you technically can't deny it as a possibility because there are no clear shots of where his halo or wings would be. naturally this severely divides fans, and several other theories about his species pop up over the course of a few days. many people are called morons from all sides.

the REAL drama comes when he posts a picture where he's holding what looks suspiciously like an extremely precious meteorite-formed gem that was stolen during a private IPC auction two weeks ago. this post is also notable because it's the first time he's used a caption and it's literally just "lol". naturally people quickly connects the dots and realize that he's BOOTHILL, that crazy motherfucker with the vendetta against the IPC, and why the fuck is he posting nature photos and videos of him feeding birds and shit. silvergunshura fans are instantly divided by discourse about whether or not it's ethical to be a fan. "silvergun fans dni" and "silvergun antis dni" become staples in the bios of people invested in the drama. a bunch of fans start using his substitute swears, and whether or not this is ironic is extremely debatable. the business of cyborg modifications has a moderate boom. anti-IPC sentiments have a notable increase, but now the people doing serious exposés and earnest discussion about the humanitarian crimes of the IPC that are concealed from the public are constantly called simps. there's a brief stint with a handful of Boothill copycat crimes that are all solved within the week.

people unsuccessfully try to hunt down any other potential socials to no avail, but this does spawn a massive wave of fake accounts on a million different platforms, which obviously successfully baits a ton of people. the drama gets even spicier when the moderators shut down his account. one of the mods gets doxxed by an outraged fan. even more fake accounts pop up. Boothill comes back less than a week later as @.silvercowboy244 like nothing happened. his returning post is a crooked picture of a sorta weird looking tree, and he's pointing toward the top left of the frame. the caption is just "bird?" and nobody can figure out what the FUCK that's supposed to mean, because there's no bird visible in the picture, nor is there a bird nest in the tree. conspiracy theories and decoders are immediately chomping at the bit trying to figure out if it has some kind of secret meaning.

tons of people try to use his posts to pinpoint his location for clout or the bounty money or to find him in person and beg him to let them give him head, but he never posts them exactly when they're taken, and nobody can figure out what the fuck logic he's using to pick his next destination. there's an IPC investigation. his accounts keep getting banned but he keeps coming back like a cockroach. dedicated fan archives are made to preserve all of his shitty photos. he never acknowledges any of the drama.

if you're fortunate enough to know Boothill personally and you ask him about all of that weird shit with his socials, he just shrugs and says, "yep, i keep gettin' locked out. can't remember passwords for shirt." if you ask him what he thinks of all the drama surrounding his online presence, he gives you the most bewildered expression you've ever seen on his face. "what the fork are you yappin' about?? what do you mean i got "band" ?? disk horse??? docksing???? i think you've got a few screws loose buddy" and he promptly forgets about the entire ordeal and goes back to posting blurry nature pictures like literally nothing happened.

edit: here's part two-ish lol

[elisedonut]

Percy: I've done something idiotic

Penny: Oh jeez, who did you sleep with this time?

[navree]

"rhaenys could have ended the war by dracarysing all the greens right there" yes because a distant relation to the throne deciding to barbecue an anointed and publicly positively hailed king and his entire family who is well loved within the city and in multiple other parts of the country for the sake of the succession of a far-away princess no one was ever on board with who hasn't been seen by the populace in literal years, her psycho husband, her three obvious bastards, and two toddlers from the psycho husband would go over super well with westeros and especially in king's landing where scores of the still-cheering population were killed for no reason by that same dragon who would do the barbecuing, because when targaryens act unilaterally without thinking of how the people would react there's never any problem, which is why the storming of the dragonpit and robert's rebellion were actually just collective delusions dreamed up by readers who hate rhaenyra and not key parts of the story and house targaryen's history that directly contributed to their demise and are intrinsic to the plot

truly team black stans are made up of only the most genius and media literate amongst us