#but it is the opposite of how I feel lmao

[cloudgirlsonfilm]

just answering these all on my own for hitorei because im thinking about them... :] (also gonna be focusing on lili as opposed to myself but some answers might be about me val ^^)

1. rei reminds me of many! snakes, peacocks, tanukis, foxes, hawks... anything flashy or elusive. hitoya is like a bulldog to me

2. me personally i'd give hitoya a gift card to some high-end steakhouse. or a bottle of scotch. and i'd give rei a pie to the face or perhaps rocks. lili might give him something slightly better but idk what

3. i don't know if hitoya lili OR rei have hobbies 💀💀 they're all too employed for that (and rei... is rei). THOUGH i do think hitoya wanted to do magic tricks at a point? it'd be cute if he still knew some tricks and taught them to lili, and then she uses the sleight of hand on rei to make him laugh... lili and rei used to read together a lot when they first became a couple too

4. hitoya sweeps dusts vacuums washes dishes you name it. i think he's very clean, and would make sure to stay on top of it even if he's run thin from work (just more distraction from The Feelings). rei leaves a mess in his wake

5. both of them yes. bonus points for hitoya for (probably) being able to drive a motorcycle too

6. unsure... i think hitolili both use very generic ones, rei has a special ringtone for lili that he like.. recorded himself or something so its unmistaken

7. hitoya would if a situation called for it, rei would if a situation called for it but he's manufacturing the situation himself so he can logically argue with someone online and then get something out of them

8. i think hitoya would seem outwardly stressed by the idea, but actually be very accepting of it (guy who has probably sat through kuko talking about reincarnation). to me rei is the opposite, outwardly indulges the idea but secretly feels stressed or even forlorn about it

9. OH GODDD lili probably gets mixed reviews when introducing rei because everyone can tell there's something about those two that needs to stay in containment

10. receiving a hug from behind in the kitchen or laying in bed together

11. idfk. old woman yaoi

12. hitoya i think is a silvery purple, rei i associate with dark red and gold

13. hitoya introduces lili as a good friend (no one believes him, which she's amused by), rei introduces lili as a drinking buddy of sorts (not exactly wrong, but it frustrates her)

14. if they're not perceiving lili as a doggirl what's the point...

15. hitoya would take lili out to dinner, rei would take lili out for drinks

16. hitoya/rei probably don't consciously think of any pet names for lili... rei calls her 'baby' all the time, but he calls a lot of girls 'baby' LOL. just saying lili's name makes him flustered though

17. hitoya likes sitting in the same room and doing seperate things, rei likes drinking (a given) and engaging in hands-on things together (he strikes me as a type to enjoy mixing vegetables while the other chops them, or doing lego sets together [first hands-on thing i could think of 😭😭😭 but tbh he probably needs that instead of inventing crazy shit])

18. hitoya shows it best through staying by lili's side, trying to be of some comfort, providing her with a place to stay when she needs to fall back on someone. rei shows it best through indirect actions-- ordering in food without being asked to, placing elaborate gift bags on the counter for lili to find later, putting her through a busy day so she feels alive again. lili also has a very weak spot for whenever rei talks really smooth

19. hitoya likes lili's eyes and lips, rei likes her legs and her freckles (her legs happen to have a lot of distinctive moles too)

20. i love how compassionate hitoya is, even if he doesn't give himself the credit that he is!! i love his conviction and his dedication to helping others find justice, peace and joy. rei i love for very opposite reasons LMAO i like that he's elusive and scheming. but i also like how he has a very obvious soft side no matter how much he tries to play the bad guy, but i ALSO like that this cruelly blends into all the bad things he's done. i like how complex he is...

21. i think hitoya's drawing of lili would be kind of sharp, brick-like, and i think she'd laugh and say it's kind of abstract in a way (this is not at all what he intended). i think rei's would be a little more realistic, maybe even scarily so, but i think he'd struggle to make it not look like a scientific plan of sorts (which would make lili roll her eyes a little)

22. yes. hitoya might complain about how big of a bite is taken, rei orders extras to make sure no one goes hungry

23. hitoya associates lili with blue (her uniform) and salmon (her favourite colour), rei associates her with pink (her affiliation with chuo and it's close to her favourite colour, also a colour she used to wear a lot of)

F/O Ask Game!!

A list of questions to answer about your f/o!! You guys can just go down the list and answer them all (I'd love to see it!!!) in a reblog, orrr you can reblog and have others ask you these questions in your inbox! Have fun!! PR.OSHI.P, NOT FOR YOU!

What animal does your f/o remind you of?

If you got your f/o a gift, what would you get them? 

What is your favorite hobby to think about doing with your f/o?

What chores would your f/o do around the house? Are there any they REALLY dislike?

Would you trust your f/o to drive a car?

What kind of ringtone or notification sound would you have for your f/o?

Would your f/o fight someone online? 

Does your f/o believe in soulmates?

How would you introduce your f/o to your friends? How do you think that would go? 

What's the first scenario that comes to your head when you think of being with your f/o?

What dynamic would you use to describe you and your f/o? 

What color do you associate with your f/o? 

How would your f/o introduce you to those they care about? How do you think that would go?

What animal do you remind your f/o of?

What would your f/o get you for Valentine's day, if anything? 

What does your f/o call you in their head? What do they call you aloud/to others?

What does your f/o like doing with you the most? 

How does your f/o show their love best? 

What's your f/o's favorite feature of yours?

What're your f/o's favorite personality traits of yours?

If your f/o drew you, how would you describe the art piece?

Does your f/o share food with you?

What color would your f/o associate you with?

What?? Who's tagging their friends again?- not me... I just really wanna see yalls answers. Formal invitation lest you become worried I don't wanna see it. @jpeg-indulgence @starshakez @moxanji-real @frankys-wife @katsenbergs-soulmate @katanahusband @fl0ralsxgar @one-winged-dreams AND LITERALLY ANYONE WHO SEES THIS.

[banana-can-do-art]

Guys I just finished the well it’s not the entirety of Riddle’s dream there’s still like an hour and a half that hasn’t been translated on Gasmask’s channel but I finished the part that they did translate and omg heeelp this is the best dream yet. This is so sad omg I have to ramble about it also all translations I’m using are from gas mask on YouTube.

First of all omg he’s so happy it’s making me sad. Also him saying that he would be tired of everything being the same all the time right after I made that post rambling about how his implied OCD causes him to always do everything in a “samey” manner I aaaaagghhhh. And he’s saying that he’s going to have a chaotic band because in his dream he isn’t upset when things aren’t in order and he can just let himself be happy. You can’t do this to meeee! But there’s more!

Look he’s happily breaking the rules and feeling no anxiety about it whatsoever. (OCD be gone). In his dream world he can do what he wants with no terrible parents or mental illness holding him back. Look at him he’s adorable. And then we have this though agghhh.

This is so sad! When Ace and everyone tells him about what he’s like in real life as though they are talking about another person, Riddle immediately hates the person they are describing. Because he doesn’t like who he is irl. In fact, Riddle even says here that he hates school and studying and that it makes people miss out on the fun things in life. It’s so sad because who he actually is irl is the complete opposite of what he wants to be. He’s so isolated and self loathing I can’t.

Also in the dream Riddle isn’t even a mage. Because he doesn’t even actually like doing magic because all of the joy was sapped out of that for him because he’s always expected to do it perfectly. He never just gets to do magic because he wants to or because it’s fun but rather only because others expect and pressure him too. It feels like the idea of a hobby losing its charm and fun when people have to make it into their jobs. (I hope that doesn’t happen to me heeeelp)

Also I felt so bad for Trey during this because he knows the most about Riddle’s reality and he is the entrenched in it himself. Riddle’s mom screamed at him for five hours as a child and he’s scarred from everything that happened with Riddle and his mom as a kid and yet now he’s supposed to just walk into Riddle’s house like nothing’s wrong. That must be so jarring and unsettling. Props to Trey for managing to do that honestly that’s freaking terrifying.

Also I can’t with all of those pictures on the wall. What do you mean he hates his real life so much that in his dreams his entire memory has become fabricated. His real life memories are completely different from his dream memories. And what do you mean that in his dream his parents are together and they love him and neither of them are mages and he just lives a happy and normal life?! What do you mean?!

Also, even though his parents love him in the dream, his mom has been so awful to him irl that even though everything is fake he can’t even actually picture her face saying nice things to him so it’s just the house talking to him. That’s so awful!

Also then we get this whole reference to the scene in Alice in wonderland where Alice has the big tears and people are drowning. Except it’s tea this time lol. Also Riddle crying that he wants to get out of the house is so sad even in his dreams he can’t escape agshdjdjdj. Omg Cater is so funny in the drowning scene though, he’s just like stop crying we’re gonna drown lmao. Also I know Chenya is fake but it is still so unbelievably funny how he is literally drowning in tea and yet he just has this huge smirk on his face the whole time lol. Chenya’s so silly.

Also the house became so creepy omg I saw someone saying it looks like an rpg maker horror game and like it really does! Specifically I think it really looks like Sunny’s house during the truth sequence of Omori.

Speaking of rpg maker horror games, Malleus was really channeling his inner rpg maker horror villain this update. Poor Idia lol. My condolences to Idia, he’s become the main character of an rpg maker horror game. I dunno Idia if we are going for Omori parallels then maybe you should open that door.

And then later when he gets pulled deeper the dream reflects false desires. To have control over the dorm while everyone bows down to him is was he thinks he wants but not his actual true desire. That’s why in the second layer of his dream even though he is in power, he still seems miserable because we know that he doesn’t even want to be a mage in the first place, much less have all of these rules.

And then Chenya pushes him over and he gets tangled in his cape lmao. That was so funny and then the screen is just Riddle with his feet in the air lmao. That outfit is not conducive to getting up from a fall.

But omg when the darkness is telling him that in the dream they respect him while irl he is isolated it’s so sad. Because he knows that irl his rules and strictness (and OCD) isolate him and that’s why it’s so difficult for him to make friends. He understands that he is lonely because he is a control freak like this, and yet it’s the only thing that he knows how to do because it’s all he’s been taught. (And also because he’s mentally ill you see).

This is all so sad I can’t. Twst! How could you do this to me?!

Anyway, in conclusion punk band Riddle is the most amazing thing to ever grace my eyeballs just look at him. We need a Riddle vocaloid band rhythm game spinoff immediately actually. Also his new fit is absolutely slaying look at him go!

Now I must wait in agony for the next hour and a half or so to be translated by the great and amazing fandom hero, gasmask.

[starcrossedandstupid]

unlike the song suggests it is not the end nor am I okay with it

[sparxyv]

Mousey Student ID 💙🐭

NOW 😏 time for Mousey's official introduction.. get ready for another huge infodump! (this one's even longer than Milena's I'm so sorry 😭😭)

Template by @kiwiplaetzchen !!! (Thank you again 😙🫶)

Family

Mousey is the youngest of four brothers. Clyde, Lachlan, and Magnus.

His three big brothers have long since moved out of the McGregor house, going on to become very successful each in their own ways. They were all sorted into Ravenclaw, and were all part of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team at some point in time.

Mousey's mother - Florence McGregor (née Prewett) - is Leander Prewett's father's sister (so Leander's aunt lol). She was sorted into Gryffindor!

Mousey's father - Fergus McGregor - was sorted into Slytherin when he attended Hogwarts. Naturally, he is very prideful and ambitious - oftentimes (accidentally) placing pressure on his sons to pursue things that are not in their interest to impact the family legacy in a meaningful way. Fergus genuinely cares for his sons, he's just unaware of the effect his words have on their psyche. 🙁

Fergus McGregor was a keeper for the Montrose Magpies for 3 years before Magnus was born, and after that he decided to settle down for good. Quidditch was his passion, and he was ecstatic when all his sons shared the same love for it.

The McGregors have resided in Irondale for generations! They have a quite small house for a large family - but fret not, it's bigger than it looks on the outside.

Mousey is 5 years younger than the brother closest in age to him - Clyde - while his three older brothers are each only about two years apart from each other. This feeds into Mousey feeling like an outcast in his own family. (Clyde - 20, Lachlan - 22, Magnus - 24)

Life Before Fifth Year

Growing up, Mousey had always been an exceptionally anxious AND impulsively loud child, so he found it was a miracle he made friends with Anne Sallow during his first week at Hogwarts. Anne was always terribly kind to him, helping him out when he needed a shoulder to lean on, giving him lots of encouragement - which he so desperately needed. Anne, being extremely mischievous, self-confident, and empathetic, she made the perfect best friend for Mousey.

Mousey wasn't exactly a permanent addition to the Sallow Twins and Ominis' little group, but they would hang out with Mousey more often than not. Up until fourth year, they were practically his only friends. (We'll get to this in a bit.. 😙)

In order to impress his father - Mousey started training on a broom as soon as he first attended Hogwarts, but his heart was only half in it. Although he was very talented with a broom, it was never a true passion of his.

Speaking of Mousey's true passion - he is deeply fascinated by wandlore/craft. Ever since he recieved his first book on wandcraft at the age of seven, he quickly became entranced by it. Mousey absorbed all the information he possibly could and constantly visited Ollivanders in Hogsmeade in his free time once he was allowed to by the school.

Sometime at the start of fourth-year Sebastian and Mousey got into a HUGE argument that quickly ended their friendship. After this argument occured, Sebastian practically banned Anne and Ominis from speaking or interacting with Mousey in any way out of sheer pettiness 😒. Mousey was heartbroken. While he would swear up and down it did not affect him, he genuinely loved Sebastian, Anne, and Ominis.. losing their friendship was difficult on him. Although, sadness quickly turned to anger and he held a big grudge against Sebastian. After the big fallout, he vowed he didn't need them - immediately going on a quest to make as many friends as possible. And ultimately, he did.. but it never felt the same.

Relationships

Like Milena, I'm planning on creating a separate series of posts going more in-depth with his relationships w/ characters - so take this list of his closest friends!

Ominis Gaunt

Anne Sallow

Milena Chase

Amit Thakkar

Everett Clopton

Andrew Larson

Samantha Dale

Duncan Hobhouse

Garreth Weasley

Leander Prewett

Eric Northcott

Poppy Sweeting

Arthur Plummly

Unnamed Students

Personality

MBTI - ENFP-T

Alignment - Chaotic Neutral

Mousey is a complicated type of extrovert. He grew up constantly fighting for attention - he learned quickly that he needed to be loud and to stand out to be seen. Mousey is the type of person to only want a few close friends, but a large circle. He loves socializing with everyone, typically coming off as very cheery and playful, yet more snarky + sarcastic with people he's more comfortable with. However, he's also very anxious. He's quite the overthinker - yet never exactly thinks ANYTHING through at the same time. He's the epitome of impulsivity.

In addition to him being anxious - Mousey cares too much of what other people think of him, especially the people he loves/looks up to. He finds himself constantly trying to impress his friends and family because he craves external validation to feel good about himself.

Mousey is very sensitive, but can oftentimes be seen as apathetic when it comes to heated moments. He's very much controlled by his emotions and feelings, which has put a strain in a lot of his relationships. Mousey feels emotions more intensely than most of his peers, his mood also being affected by the people around him. (Although when he's not blinded by his own feelings, he is actually very sweet and caring person. 😞)

If there was one word to describe Mousey - NOSY. As a Ravenclaw, he's obviously inclined to want to know as much as he can about anything. With that being said, he's a NASTY gossip. Mousey knows everything about everyone, always around and listening in the background.. 😊

Just like how it is in other parts of Mousey's life, he feels that he's an outlier in his Hogwarts House. Other than being curious and passionate about learning, he isn't as clever as other Ravenclaws - not great at riddles, oftentimes having trouble even entering the common room. So he tries his best to make the best of it, befriending his housemates, joining the quidditch team, etc.

When it comes to being active, he can make an exception for Quidditch - for his father - but other than that, he HATES physical activity. Unfortunately he's a bit on the cowardly side as well. He could be reckless and get a burst of confidence, but in general Mousey is terrified of dueling, sharp things, large creatures, and especially cats. You wouldn't usually catch him out in the Forbidden Forest, or in any of the hamlets far from Irondale.

Additional Fun Facts!

The only people who don't refer to him as 'Mousey' would be Ominis, Imelda, and Milena - all for different reasons.

Mousey actually likes his nickname, not minding it one bit - although, he doesn't remember how he got it.. but even the teachers have called him Mousey since his first year.

He used to have very prominent buck teeth up until he was 13, having them magically fixed (by Anne Sallow) after his big brother Clyde had made fun of them.

Mousey is the Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain and Keeper in sixth-year! 💙

Other than Sebastian, his nemesis at Hogwarts is Charlotte Morrison (whom Milena actually made friends with???). She just really irritates him in a way he can't describe. The feeling is mutual.

He is very close with a lot of the teachers, most notably Professor Fig and Professor Garlick.

Mousey makes wood-carving animals representing the people he loves, and keeps them in his dorm. (Some would be: Ominis - Bat, Anne - Fox, Sebastian - Snake, and the newest addition.. Milena - Eagle 💜 I like to imagine Mousey came to terms with his and Milena's friendship at one point and secretly made her little animal to keep 🥹) No one knows the meanings behind the animals but him. They are his to keep and to protect.

Bi icon 💙💜🩷

Had a crush on Adelaide Oakes in third-year. (his type is blondes I guess?)

Was nearly sorted into Slytherin, but the hat changed it's mind at the last second.

Raphael is the only feline that tolerates Mousey. (And vice versa)

Knows about the Undercroft.

[ichiro-artosaki]

i-

[boynextdoorcoverpoison]

myung jaehyun is absolutely, hands down, the best leader for boynextdoor.

I always stand by the leader of groups being the best leaders for their groups, but it’s definitely a role that they have to grow into and improve constantly on. just like any other position in the group. just like any other thing you do.

that said, until the fanmeeting, I didn’t quite have the words to truly express why I feel so strongly about jaehyun’s role as the boynextdoor leader—especially as I think to a lot of non-onedoor, it can seem a bit confusing or not apparent at first. which mostly comes from jaehyun sitting outside the norm for a leader (particularly in hybe bgs) at least in personality.

jaehyun is loud. that’s like… something well known about him. he’s talkative and playful and despite being shy, he’s definitely the kind of person to enter the room knowing no one and leave with at least 5 new friends. his approach to people is one that feels very open and bright.

for this reason, I do think many people might not first associate him with the leader role. with most groups, the most energetic member is probably not the first considered as “oh yeah that’s the leader”. jaehyun is all the playful and energy-filled that usually comes with the member who the leader needs to keep an eye on the most and eventually has a bunch of youtube compilation videos.

that said, these qualities are exactly why I think he makes such a great leader for boynextdoor. as mentioned in the fanmeeting day 2 ending ments, the members of bonedo are the type of people to put up a straight face and keep their struggles to themselves. as woonhak and they have expressed, an example being woonhak putting on a smile and performing, despite dealing with grief. they’re very much the people to not make their problems someone else’s and to maintain a collected image in front of others.

while I also think jaehyun does this, as most people who are leaders may tend to for the sake of their groups, he’s also very very very unapologetically himself. he feels so much. his tendency to cry being a prime example of that, though not the only. the point is that jaehyun is expressive and open and in this, jaehyun contrasts with his members.

as woonhak has stated before, jaehyun has expressed that it’s okay for him to cry, to need to take a break, to sit this one out. jaehyun in general approaches his members with a lot of care. but overall, the stand out is that I believe jaehyun navigates along the lines of… feelings are meant to be felt. he has no qualms with any emotion being felt the way it occurs to us. yes there are ways to handle them, but ultimately, the feeling—whatever it may be—is there to be felt and expressed.

this is also seen in how he interacts with his members. in his very tactile approach to express the love and care he has for the rest of bonedo. the pride he feels for them. whatever words I’m not able to formulate to describe the whole yeppi exchange between him and sungho in the 3rd comeback show special.

it’s also in his loudness and energy. it’s all about expression. he’s so much, but it only feels that way, in my opinion, because he’s overwhelmingly unafraid and unapologetic of being himself, in a way that the industry might otherwise discourage. he’s not against expressing how he feels and while it likely won’t be the most apparent until later in their careers, I do think he’s the type to speak his mind.

all that said, the point is that these qualities do exist in contrast to his members and thus… encourage them to do the same. maybe not to be speeding around all over the place, but rather to allow themselves the space and time to feel as they do. that they don’t have to keep it all inside to avoid making it other peoples problems. they’re a team, if nothing else. and it’s in jaehyun being so so so much himself, being exactly the person he is, not something specially crafted to fit a particular image, he encourages the other members to be the same.

jaehyun helps to curate a safe space within their group by exhibiting that there’s nothing wrong with being the person they are. to feel whatever they feel. to express when things are going good or bad or somewhere in between. to approach things as they come and take them in stride, even if it’s without prior planning. that if a leader is meant to push a group forward and help them grow, then jaehyun steps up to the plate in that art cannot be made without emotion and so to become better artists, to continue being artists, it’s so important to find the safe spaces of being able to express and feel everything as they should be felt.

this is why I think jaehyun has some of the strongest lyricism currently in the group. it’s why I think he was a powerful force coming into KOZ and bonedo, and sort of the missing piece. he feels so much and he allows himself to feel all of it. in turn, as the leader, it’s something he encourages in the members. it’s leading by example. jaehyun builds a safe space for them to express, by being open himself.

but beyond that, jaehyun being unapologetically himself becomes an unstoppable sort of barrier between the group and outside the group. while not as apparent now, I do think it’ll grow into him being a strong adovcate for each of the members and the group as a whole. the group matters to him. his members matter to him. jaehyun’s never going to act as if they don’t, so long as they do. as such, he’ll put them first. he’ll encourage them and their best interest. he provides space and works to create and maintain that space for them to express themselves and be themselves. it’s what makes jaehyun the best leader for bonedo now, and it’s what will allow him to continue to do so.

[c1trvswurld]

I tried so hard to selfship that it made me realize that I was aegosexual, and that's somethin man

[rapidhighway]

hmmm thinking about how both Knuckles and Licho have been stuck in a single place for as long as they remember, Knuckles completely isolated and Licho unseen by anyone for a very very long time hmm

[gardenfairie]

This is an old netflix ig post but it's such an incredibly ironic edit I had to post it 😭😭 Basically this whole scene from XO Kitty is about Kitty giving a presentation about how her and Dae are "meant for each other" at the start of the show.

And then the rest of the show is literally about how Kitty realizes her and Dae ARENT meant to be, and how she's bisexual and ends up falling for a girl and breaking up with Dae at the end of the season lmaoooo

[bi-dykes]

Riley and Maya and Cady Heron, thank you for your service 🫡

[ivohex]

On my bullshit rn cuz I swear Xavier/Sylus and Zayne/Caleb are the shadows of the other and now I'm convinced that there will in fact be a 6th LI who mirrors Rafayel 🧍‍♀️⁉️

[spiritedstars]

you seem like one of the calmest eluciens about the ship war 😂

*gently holds your hand* I say this in the sweetest most comforting way possible but...it's because I don't care 🤣🤣

I appreciate people's passion for the series and the characters but...SJM will do what she wants in the end. I'm 99% confident Elucien is happening because logically with the story she's been telling, it's what makes sense to me but you know what - she might do a 360 and change everything in the next book so that 1% doubt will always be there because I'm not her and I don't know what's in her brain lol.

I love Lucien, I love Elain and I very obviously love them together. I will ship elucien until the end regardless of what happens because to me, they will always make more sense than any other ship. But I also don't want to spend time arguing with people or trying to convince them about whether I'm right or not when in the end, we could all be wrong anyway haha.

There's a lot of nastiness that comes with this ship war and it's just not worth it. It takes away from the joy the series gives to people and there are real people behind these screens. Ultimately, I'm here for a good time not to deal with people being mean. I've also been in the fandom for a long time and had my fair share of arguments/pettiness so yo girl is TIRED and has seen it all lol. My policy always comes back to ship and let ship but don't be an asshole about it.

[chibishortdeath]

Disgusting creature (begins sobbing)

[idolbound]

At a base level, Meredith holds a general dislike towards men, with few exceptions. These reasons are primarily related to sexuality, and her exceptions are given through familial relationships. While this dislike is not necessarily overt (as interacting with men is very much a part of her life), the way she engages with men socially vastly differs compared to women. The reasons below are derived from both canonical events and personal headcanons.

Familial & Interpersonal Relations

As a little girl, Meredith adored her dad. While her older sister Amelia was closest with their mother, Meredith was very attached to their father, spending almost as much time with him as she did with Amelia. While Meredith was very young (around 5 years old) when her beloved mage sister became victim to demon possession and killed their parents and neighbours, she was saved by Knight-Captain Wentworth Kell. In that moment, Meredith saw him as her hero and savior, and it instilled the faith and belief in herself that she too, would become a templar from that fateful day forward. As such, Meredith became an initiate in her early teens, serving as Ser Wentworth's page for a few years. In that time, she learned directly from him, but she also saw him akin to an adoptive father. Over the years, Ser Wentworth began experiencing early symptoms of lyrium-related dementia; prior to his retirement to the Chantry to live out the rest of his remaining days, he named Meredith as his successor to fill the position of Knight-Captain, and in his speech, he called her the "daughter he never deserved." This relationship was pivotal for young Meredith, and in some ways, more painful than losing her own family; she would visit him, watching him and his memories slowly fade away over a two-year period. By the end, he did not remember who she was, and the grief of losing another father is something she has carried with her ever since. In this sense, Meredith's father and adoptive father respected and loved her deeply, teaching her all they knew. She held both of them in high esteem, both as a child and teenager/very young adult. These familial relationships are very important to Meredith, and they are one of the only ways that she finds herself in close companionship to men whatsoever. In a way, she extends this type of relationship later on in her life to Cullen. Taking the older mentor role, Meredith had chosen Cullen to be her Knight-Captain because she felt a sort of kinship with him; like her, Cullen was quite young and deeply traumatized from a mage-related incident. She took advantage of this shared experience to shape and influence his ideology about mages and how to control them in the Circle using strict routines and regulations. In this way, she sought to mould him into her future successor, trusting that he would continue to lead Kirkwall's Templar Order in her footsteps, long after she is gone. In this sense, she has a somewhat maternal relationship with Cullen, seeing him as a pseudo-son; while she would never go quite as far as saying he is the child she "never deserved", she certainly places far more trust in Cullen than anyone else serving under her, and holds a certain fondness towards him.

General Relations

In terms of men more broadly and in a general sense, Meredith has never felt a desire to befriend nor deeply engage with them, mainly for two reasons - both of which are related to sexuality: namely, Meredith's own sexuality as a lesbian, as well as Meredith being seen as someone conventionally attractive to heterosexual men. Combined, these interrelated factors have led to Meredith's general aversion and dislike of most men; she would prefer to have nothing to do with men at a personal level, but works in a male-dominated environment and lives in a heteronormative society, which makes avoiding men in that capacity difficult. In the very least, Meredith finds some salvation in practicing and following a religion that is matriarchal in its hierarchy, even if the rest of society isn't.

Meredith's Lesbianism & Being Conventionally Attractive

Meredith has always been considered a very conventionally attractive person. Even from a young age, she has always been good looking, tall, and strong. Growing up in the Templar Order, she had to live alongside her mostly male Templar brethren in the barracks, and as a result, many of them have tried to flirt with her or even go so far as to pursue a relationship with her over the years. As a young teenager around age 14 to 15, Meredith's interests were strictly on her training and her devotion to the Chantry, seeing herself as nothing but a pure, pious Andrastian, who would likely be upholding a vow of chastity (even if the practice was not mandatory for Templars), or in the very least, choosing to remain chaste until marriage, if there was ever an opportunity to do so. However, as noted in the canon, marriage for Templars requires special permission from Chantry leaders and requires that the non-templar partner must be able to financially support themselves in case the templar is relocated to another Circle.

As such, Meredith often cited her devotion to the Chantry and its doctrine as the main reason for rejecting these boys, but as she grew a little older, around age 16, she started to discover her preference towards the fairer sex. While there had been some... inclinations early on (by way of homoerotic friendships with other girls living under the care of the Chantry), it wasn't until she realized that her lack of sexual interest in boys was not because of her devotion to religious doctrine, but instead, was because of her genuine sexual attraction to other girls. It took time for her to realize that there was nothing about boys that attracted her to them; she lived amongst them, saw them in more personal ways than most other girls her age, and still wanted nothing to do with them at an intimate level. They were her templar brothers, nothing more (despite their efforts to be more than that). This early 'conflict' shaped her ideas about how boys treated her, but felt that she could not express her attraction or pursue relationships with girls without repercussions, and so, for the first few years of being a Knight-Templar, she kept things to herself and still used her devotion to the Order and the Chantry as a reason to reject suitors. As Meredith came to terms with her attraction to the same-sex in her late teens, she soon became quite confident in herself upon entering adulthood. As she inherited the position of Knight-Captain after Ser Wentworth's unfortunate passing in her very early 20s, she was described as having a steeled resolve and being far more charismatic than that of the old and greying Knight-Commander Guylian. This enabled her to bring about changes to the management of the Circle, implementing strict routines and harsh punishments for the mages, without question or doubt from her peers. Even years later, after the incident that led Viscount Perrin to send mercenaries to kill the Knight-Commander, Meredith rallied the templars into a retaliatory charge to the Viscount's Keep in order to arrest him for his crimes; in a similar fashion, not a single templar balked or questioned her orders, and this led her to being named Knight-Commander at the young age of 29. Those who work with Meredith see her as a powerful figure in leadership; between her physical looks and dominant personality, Meredith has established herself as both a competent leader in the Templar Order and an attractive one at that.

Even early on in her career, it was clear to most people that Meredith's devotion to the Order and the Chantry was her utmost priority, but unlike her younger self, she attained more freedom through earning a higher rank, and so, as Knight-Captain at age 24, she began to explore her sexuality and pursue same-sex relations with other women. Mainly, she sought casual relationships with those she knew were like her within the walls of the Chantry itself (again, serving as the only place she can really go to freely outside of the Order). This allowed Meredith to fully find her confidence in tandem with her ascension in the Order, feeling far more comfortable with herself, even if that part of her had to remain hidden from the public, because of her duties as well as the potential for social stigma that could affect her career. Over time, in some ways, Meredith's lesbianism is a little more obvious to those who pay attention. In particular, the templars who have known her and served alongside her for all of their lives have noted her blatant disinterest in, and rejection of, men, and sometimes, likely, the way that she has disappeared after evening prayer and not returned across the harbour until later than most (though for years, when her brethren were still not afraid to ask, she always cited it as 'administrative business', and left it at that). In this time, her love for, and attraction to, women was cultivated, and it played a part in her confidence - which in turn, has played a part in how people perceive her, still, as a very attractive woman.

However, despite all of her hard work and ascension through the ranks of the Templar Order and some of the rumours about her sexuality, some men still believe they might have a chance in pursuing her. This has certainly lessened over the years to an extent as she has gained power and influence as Knight-Commander, and in some ways, because of aging (though that said, many see her as still rather attractive - for example, Jethann of the Blooming Rose referred to her as a "tall, handsome woman" in recent years), but after having to deal with men finding her extremely attractive for all of her life, despite her very obvious disinterest in the opposite sex, Meredith has grown to have a general dislike for most men.  While she generally trusts that the men who serve under her do so at a professional level, she cares little for their personal lives or interests, and only interacts as necessary. Overall, she has very few 'friends', given her position and devotion to the Order, but she holds even less desire to be friends with men. She has no reason to engage with men beyond a professional capacity. That said, though, she does seem to care a lot for Thrask, and is quite upset when she finds out he betrays her, so I like to believe that they were in the same cohort in their youth, training and serving the Order together for many years; in this way, that particular relationship almost embodies a familial relationship, and is most certainly an exception to the rule.

Conclusion

Overall, the social context of Thedas, and Kirkwall in particular, has shaped how Meredith has developed as a person and how her sexuality exists within the constraints of the society she lives in. While Meredith accepts close familial relationships that are based in mentorship, respect, and to some degree, love, she typically rejects general relationships with men outside of that context; as a lesbian woman, she has no romantic or sexual interests in men, but as someone who is considered conventionally attractive by society and ergo, heterosexual men, she has had the unfortunate experience of being romantically and sexually pursued by them. And, because it is not the norm in society, Meredith cannot be open with her lesbian sexuality (again, for fear of social stigma affecting her career), and therefore, cannot establish rejection on the basis of a lack of attraction, but rather, instead, must reject men on the basis of her devotion to her faith. This has led to Meredith's general dislike for men, and preference to avoid interaction if at all possible. Outside of this fictional context and going into real life, a lot of lesbians - myself included - find it more comfortable to decenter men in our lives. This is a process that helps women break free from a compulsory heterosexual society (from Adrienne Rich's (1980) theory that heterosexuality is innately assumed and enforced by a patriarchal and heteronormative society, particularly for women), by way of unlearning and subverting patriarchal norms, and changing gender relations, so that women's worth is not tied to the interests of, nor the relationships to men. Obviously, this process is arguably easier for lesbian women who already lack the romantic/sexual attraction to men and who love and support women. Obviously, for Meredith, this is not as easily attainable in the context of Kirkwall and wider society in Thedas. She spends almost all of her time surrounded by men in the Gallows who serve under her as Knight-Commander, though for the most part, they respect her as their leader. While she cannot necessarily decenter men in the same way as someone like me in a modern world, she finds her reprieve where she can by going to the Chantry for her daily evening prayer where she is surrounded by other women. This is why, if she has the opportunity to meet, work with, or even engage in potential relationships with, more women outside of the Order - as nobles or even otherwise - she will take it.

[triglycercule]

i'm so mttpilled and mttpolymaxxing constantly that i forget that there's people out there who really don't like mttpoly or mtt. and i'm just like,,,,,, wow. you are an enigma to me can i just flatten you and put you under a microscope

[altschmerzes]

getting real tired of people who are shitting on “found family” more generally as a narrative concept and specifically named familial dynamics in fan interpretation of characters in particular because it all seems to be getting painted with a really wide and really homogenous brush. “we need to take found family away from people because they think it all has to be In Nuclear Family Terms and do you know friendship exists and you don’t have to call these characters siblings to legitimize their relationship while making it clear you Don’t Ship Them Ew Gross and THEN you sneer at people who Do ship them” cool cool that is a lot of really intense characterization and assigning of motive to other people en bloc!

like sure there’s some meaningful critique to be found in a broad trend to label every single relationship directly and specifically with terms that have very specific contexts and roles but im waiting to be told when anyone IS by the standards of people making and reblogging these very sweepingly generalized posts allowed to call a relationship parental or whatever. is that Ever allowed. who is handing out the permits. sometimes a specific term for a relationship isn’t actually about wanting an excuse to sneer about your ship (and frankly there’s a lot of projection going on there imo from people who are actively sneering about other people’s interpretation of a relationship!) and it’s because there are very specific contexts and details about a dynamic that makes exploring it from the lens of siblings or whatever very rich and compelling and interesting because words mean things and assuming everyone is just being reductive and demanding conformity to a nuclear family is, ironically, really reductive.

so like. cool it. stop being really fucking mean about people having an interpretation of a dynamic you personally don’t like or makes you feel a little weird or uncomfy because you ship them.