#but it also means ofc she loves jesus more than she loves me

[silentgravesdontexist]

Renovating my room means I'm blasting music through the speaker. And I am also just stuck on Hozier's music (if u don't know him— now you do). So, here are Hozier's music that I think suits the following OP men!

Featured Characters: Ace, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Brook, and Usopp

CW: Suggestive Content (it's Hozier. Ofc, there're going to be some feral undertones)

Note: I might edit this and add more if I feel like it.

Portgas D. Ace

I had a thought, dear However scary About that night The bugs and the dirt Why were you digging? What did you bury Before those hands pulled me From the earth?

I will not ask you where you came from I will not ask you, neither should you

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips We should just kiss like real people do

To Ace, you were the one who brought him back to life and away from the darkness of his own mind. There was that understanding between the two of you. Both knew the other had a past haunting like a shadow.

He won't pry. He won't undo the stitches of whatever had hurt you in the past. Let the ghosts stay as they are— just let him love you now. Two people that simply fell in love with each other.

The two of you feel like broken pieces of a whole to form a mosaic in each other's embrace. It becomes a chaotic madness that only the two of you could understand the raw beauty of it.

Monkey D. Luffy

Boys workin' on empty Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat? I just think about my baby I'm so full of love I could barely eat There's nothing sweeter than my baby I'd never want once from the cherry tree 'Cause my baby's sweet as can be She give me toothaches just from kissin' me When, my, time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her

As playful as Luffy can be, he's fiercely loyal. He'll go through hell and back just to have you in his arms. May it be against the world, heavens, or even the universe its— he won't let it take you away. He can't lose another loved one.

He's already done this for so many people. No pain nor torture could stop this man from being with you. Not even the gods can help the ones who even dare try to.

The guy won't die for you. Luffy would make sure he's alive to make sure you're safe and happy. That's why not even death could keep him away.

Roronoa Zoro

You know better, babe, you know better, babe Than to smile at me, smile at me like that You know better, babe, you know better, babe Than to hold me just, hold me just like that

I know who I am when I'm alone I'm something else when I see you You don't understand, you should never know How easy you are to need

Don't let me in with no intention to keep me Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me Honey, don't feed me, I will come back

A man of solitude finally found the place to call his home. Zoro keeps to himself, and yet you wormed your way into his life without realizing the effect you had on him.

There's a silent intensity to it. He's a man of strict self-discipline. He knows who he is. But with you? Gods, a switch turns on in his brain that makes him feral.

The warmth of your soul seeped deep into the crevices of his bones and warmed him from the inside. How could he not need you and the warmth you've shown him?

Sanji

I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus When her body was found (hey ya) I'd be the choiceless hope in grief That drove him underground (hey ya) I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee That made him turn around (hey ya) And I'd be the immediate forgiveness In Eurydice Imagine being loved by me!

I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we'd do So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you

Oh, everyone knows Sanji isn't by any means silent with his affections. But behind those honey-like words of adoration? Behind the hands that hold you so tenderly? There's an underlying heat to it that consumes him whole.

He won't tell you— not yet. Too afraid to scare you away by the growing desire in his chest. He doesn't just want you. He needs you.

That's why he'll put up a front of a dignified lover to you. Fawning over every little detail of your being while his fingers ache to feel the warmth of your bare skin.

Brook

She's gonna save me, call me "baby" Run her hands through my hair She'll know me crazy, soothe me daily Better yet, she wouldn't care We'll steal her Lexus, be detectives Ride 'round picking up clues We'll name our children, Jackie and Wilson Raise 'em on rhythm and blues

Lord, it'd be great to find a place we could escape sometime Me and my Isis growing black irises in the sunshine Every version of me dead and buried in the yard outside We'd sit back and watch the world go by

In the vast lonely life Brook lived, there was something about you that made him forget what loneliness ever felt like in the first place. You're just it to him.

No matter how peculiar he may seemed— you were always there by his side. Laughing along his jokes. Even matching his humor and love for music.

You are his muse. And he'd gladly play the ballad of your love until the end of time, if you'd let him.

Usopp

Remember once I told you 'bout How before I heard it from your mouth My name would always hit my ears As such an awful sound And the soul, if that's what you'd call it Uneasy ally of the body It felt nameless as a river undiscovered underground

And the first time that you kissed me I drank dry the River Lethe The Liffey would have been softer on my stomach all the same But you spoke some quick new music That went so far to soothe this soul As it was and ever shall be Unearth without a name

Some part of me must have died The first time that you called me baby And some part of me came alive The first time that you called me baby

Usopp knew that there was this part of him that felt hollow with all the grandoise stories he tells. And the way you would always listen to him as if you truly believed his words made him feel as though he was saved.

Bit by bit, he no longer lived in the tales he spun in his mind. He lived in the moment— with you. All the adventures you two would go on together were all he could ever talk about now.

It felt great because it was real. You were real. Choosing him despite all his flaws and quirks. To have given him the honor to hold your heart in his hands and be the one to protect it.

~~~~~~~

Okay, I might make a part 2 for this w/ Jimbei, Shanks, Law, Kid, and Yamato. Here's my masterlist to check it out!

~~~~~~~

Taglist: @that-student-that-has-homework @captainportgasdace @ofoceansandtombsanew @lynndt-chocolate

[myoddessy]

out with the old, in with the new | w2s/harry lewis

summary —new accounts, new lifestyle, new clubs every night. an insight into just what—and who—youtube's non-youtuber it girl got up to during her split from harry

*once again following the lead of @whoetoshaw and her bog universe's iconic breakup era ALSO, one of the twitter threads is rlly grainy and I'm sorry abt that, i couldn't properly fix it so you have to just zoom in on it 😭

2023, January

2018, July.

liked by zoeleonards, taliamar, masonmount, and 11, 824 others

yourusername lay all your love on me 🌻🍹☀️

tagged: zoeleonards, chloemitchells

zoeleonards london reality, greece fantasy 💔😞

yourusername ibiza couldn't come sooner!

wroetominter OMGOMG IVE DREAMED ABOUT YOU RETURNING TO SOCIAL MEDIA

ynfan omg shes glowing 🤩🤩

chloemitchells mykonos has never looked better 🤤😍😘

yourusername love u, lover girl 😘😘 ❤️❤️

2018, August.

liked by chloemitchells, tobjizzle, leahwilliamson, and 20,349 others

yourusername snuck behind a dj booth and had a blast, had a few more shots than I should've, fell more in love with my girls. ibiza, you will forever be famous 🍾✨️

zoeleonards it was nice having the hotel room to just myself and Chloe for a bit x 🤣🤭

ynfangirl DOES THIS MEAN THE MASON MOUNT RUMOURS ARE TRUE??

chloemitchells @ynfangirl who's that? never heard of him 🤷‍♀️

ynloverrrr it HAS to be true

freyanightingale beautiful girl ❤️

yourusername ❤️❤️❤️

sidemenfav the way that her, freya, and talia still like each others posts and support each other 💔

liked by yourusername, taliamar, and freyanightingale

ynandharry tobi likes every one of her posts, too. they really are family no matter what 😭

2019, January

liked by pierregasly, zerkaa, mabel, and 30,568 others

yourusername we're able to have semi-classy girls trips, who knew?

tagged: zoeleonards

chloemitchells gutted I couldn't make it, I miss u two beautiful girls 😭❤️

yourusername CHLO!!! it wasn't the same without you, babe xx

zoeleonards I missed placing bets on who y/n was gonna make a move on 💔

yourusername IM NOT THAT BAD ZOË JESUS

chloemitchells yeah, give her some slack... it's usually placing bets on who's gonna make a move on her 😉

ynfanpage queen we need tips on how to live our best lives because you are teaching us all rn

yourusername 1) the only long term relationship you need to focus on is the one with yourself. 2) surround yourself with people you love and support & who will love and support you. 3) learn to not give a fuck what anyone else things because everyone's too busy in their own heads to care ❤️❤️

taliaminterr how is your life so aesthetic?? irl gossip girl vibes!!

yourusername babe trust my life doesn't look like this day to day, I only show the fun bits. rn it's 4am and I've got four day old greasy hair, dried mascara under my eyes (I watched UP without taking off my makeup first), and I'm eating cereal and drinking flat coke zero. I am not the standard you should aim for 😭😭

ynslover I love how open and honest she is about her content. she's actually such a good role model

liked by taliamar, freyanightingale, chloemitchells, and 19,519 others

yourusername apparently people think the party life in my photo dumps is my day-to-day? babes, if I can teach any of you one thing in life, it's that half the shit you see online is fake. half the 'candid' moments are staged, same goes for almost every picture you see. so here's a little dump of my actual reality

zoeleonards yeah guys she's actually so messy it's insane. it makes me want to move out

yourusername SHUT IT. zoë has about three different vases of dead flowers in her room because she forgets to take them out.

zoeleonards that's nothing on the old cups in your room

yourusername BLOCKING U

ynslover how does it feel to be the most relatable influencer ever even though you're not an influencer?

taliamar omg you've still got the vinyls!!

yourusername ofc, babe! I needed something to remember our days of charity shop hopping

2023, January

[fortemelody]

AHHHSHFBTKFNTLFKGNFMDM SONIC 3 TRAILER SONIC 3 TRAILER SONIC 3 TRAILER IM LOOSING MY SHIT RN

here’s some things i noticed/wondered/loved:

- i think in that scene where tom is on the ground yelling for sonic, he is wearing a special forces suit. maybe he upgraded from cop to working with gun?? if so i think that’s a really good use of his character actually! he wanted to save a life and raise a family above all else yes, but he still got his previous dream of doing more serious cop work!

- shadow just. has a big ass portal?? like holy shit he’s just suckin the life outta earth and ig that’s one way to do it (or maybe it’s just a ring and i’m stupid idek)

- i’m sure we’ll learn more about this in the actual movie so i’m not too worried, but i’m super confused at the very beginning scene. apparently sonic didn’t change his heart…but he did tho? like he learned what being a true hero meant in the last movie. tbh i feel like that’s enough but hey i’m not against more character development for our boy so!! (also that bit where he’s like “in my lungs” was actually really funny to me, ben schwartz’ awesome delivery caught me off guard)

- GERALD ROBOTNIK ALIVE HUUUUH?! tbh i would’ve preferred if maria was alive, i feel like that would be an interesting dynamic. but also ig that would make it harder for shadow to learn anything so i totally get it. anyways i’m just glad they’re putting a little twist on the story, it keeps it interesting. they already sorta did that with the knuckles and iblis thing actually! (even if that show sucked ass and although that probably wasn’t intentional 😭)

- even tho bro only got like… 3 lines, i really think keanu fits shadow. he’s very soft spoken in comparison to the rest of the case which feels nice. also he’s like the “really bad” guy so ofc he’s not gonna be yappin on and on like sonic or robotnik and he’s gonna take things uber seriously.

- where was my girl maddie :( i think she was only in like a singular frame. hope shes in the movie a somewhat significant amount. i heart pretzel lady!! could live without wade tho like pls im so sick of his bowling soap opera 💀

- FAT ROBOTNIK FAT ROBOTNIK FAT ROBOTNIK!!! after fucking 3 movies they finally fulfilled jim carrey’s wishes!! let the man get creative like please i love jim carrey sm aughdfhfnfmschxj. also love how we got so much stobonik content within that short scene like jesus come get y’all’s food

- shadow at one point says something along the lines of “when we’re done, there won’t be anything left.” maybe i’m reading WAY to into this but what does the “we’re” part mean?? is he working with others? i feel like this is either gonna be team dark or some new movie exclusive character(s). edit: someone made a valid point that he’s actually probably referring to gerald (look at reblogs!)

-CHAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lowkey wonder if the room therye in is like an amusement park or somethin like that

- no sign of amy :( but honestly my prediction now is that she’s gonna be the post credit scene teaser cus they always do a new character reveal there. first tails, then shadow. and honestly now i think it might be better that way so shadow can have a chance to breathe and show his story in full. i’m pretty sure i vaguely remember colleen (tails’ VA) being kinda mysterious about amy’s appearance when asked, and also the fact that it was confirmed that this isn’t the end of the movie franchise/universe. but ig we’ll just have to wait and see!

so sorry i stated this yesterday morning to give my initial thoughts but then got busy and completely forgot to post/finish it. and today i started (and am close to finishing) a very long edit of the trailer, so be on the look out for that too!

genuinely i feel like this movie is gonna somehow be even more record breaking than any of the previous movies and i am so here for the hype 🙏

[tagthescullion]

The way Drew's portrayed as an antagonist doesn't really sit right with me. When I was younger I just accepted it at face value, but then I started thinking about it - Drew, Silena, the war, everything - and I think it's a lot more nuanced.

Drew is allowed to be angry at her sister - who she was presumably close to and trusted, as her head counselor and the one next in line for head counselor - for betraying them! Yes, Silena died a hero, and that redeemed her in the eyes of many, but that doesn't change what she did!

And the thing is - she died. Drew (and the rest of the cabin) can't get closure. They can't talk to Silena and ask her why she did what she did, or yell at her, or do anything. She's dead.

As of TLH, it had also only been four or five months since the war. Eventually Drew's anger might calm down, and she might come to terms with Silena's memory and what she did. But it's only been a few months. Her emotions haven't calmed yet.

I also can't believe that Drew is the only one in the cabin who - supposedly - absolutely hates Silena and everybody else forgives her wholeheartedly. There's like fifteen Aphrodite kids; can we assume that they have multiple nuanced feelings? That, say, Mitchell is still struggling to reconcile Silena the traitor with the Silena he thought he knew, and Lacy just wishes she could talk to Silena one more time and ask her why, and that one eleven-year-old doesn't care what Silena did and just wants her big sister back?

Like. It's nuanced and it's complicated. Add to this that Drew immediately became head counselor in the middle of the war when Silena died right after the revelation that she was a spy and, well, it's a mess.

if rick hadn't been a yes-like-other-girls hating coward, the true family issue in HoO wouldn't have been some boring curse in the hephaestus cabin (which added nothing much to their cabin lore tbh), it would have been about the mini civil war in the aphrodite cabin. I will start this by saying I adore silena's character, but mostly bc she was a lot more interesting than she is given credit for

I absolutely refuse to believe every aphrodite kid was okay with silena! makes no fucking sense at all, she was worse than luke, she didn't just betray them the one time and then became the enemy, she passed info to the other side for years!!!!!!! I cannot think of a single more traitorous thing than to spy on your family and friends!! to sell them out!!

and they were all like "well but she died for us so whatever"??? by that reckoning, then nobody hated luke anymore after he died, bc y'know he died for them all like jesus or some other rubbish like that? they were both on the wrong (good intentions, I'm not denying that, but they hurt people and resulted in their fellow demigods dying)

the aphrodite cabin should've been in chaos after the war. nobody would trust them with anything, they're already known as the bad side of the rumour mill, imagine after this?? and then piper says some shit like "silena knew what family was", piper, mi ciela, 1) you didn't know her; 2) she didn't betray you; 3) silena forgot what family was for a long, long while, she's a crappy example to compare yourself to!

I don't doubt eventually they'd have understood silena, like luke, didn't mean to cause such harm, they were young and fooled by a higher power, and they did love their family and friends, but that wouldn't happen less than 6 months after the event

and yes, ofc, self promo: drew and piper talking about silena (a long while after everything); two conversations between silena and luke

[agendabymooner]

colour me your colour || toto w. x ofc (8)

Summary: Tilly Marie nearly loses faith in her passion as she refuses to listen to everyone who told her to quit. Everyone but one. And it’s the man she met years ago at a racing event she didn’t want to attend. Who would have thought that her father’s partial ownership of three brands could take her to the zone of Mercedes and meet the love of her life?

Chapter summary: How do you celebrate your best friend’s P1 and your driver’s P3 without fawning over your best friend’s boss? Hint: you can’t. OR Tilly needs to let loose and having to celebrate Daniel and Lewis’ win showed that.

Content warning: Use of explicit language, Danny Ric and Lewis Hamilton being resident pieces of shit, alcohol consumption (podium wins), Danny’s shoey

Note: WE CAN STILL FORZA THIS FERRARI BABYYYYY!!! My prayers had been answered this weekend. Enjoy xx

masterlist

viii. frisky tilly

Mercedes got the P1. As I wished quietly. 

Even at the very beginning of the season, I’ve always been confident that this was going to be Lewis’ year. He didn’t exactly hide the fact that he’s worked for it. 

It wasn’t just that; he also won his home race. So while Christian and the Red Bull crew are upset that Mercedes took the lead, I certainly am jumping up and down in joy. In secret. I will always be a Lewis supporter first and a girl in a Red Bull jacket second. 

I made sure to tell him that I’d be there as soon as my job was done for the day. By that, I meant that I need to make sure Christian and the other Red Bull personnel are recognizing Daniel’s P3 finish in public, not bitch about Mercedes getting another P1 and P2 — with Williams’ Valtteri Bottas finishing. They’ve landed on the podium.

I’m sticking with Daniel the entire time, my eyes are keeping an eye out for Christian and Vettel in case they need me. 

Waiting patiently inside the cool down room, my hand sticks out a towel in Daniel’s direction. He looks at me with a questioning smile. “Wipe off your sweat. You’ll catch a cold,” I explain.

“Mother Tilly, you’re so sweet,” he coos, but his teasing smile eventually goes away as he thanks me. “You coming out to celebrate later?” 

“Celebrate what?” I ask him, wondering if there’s a party hosted after the race. If there was, I wasn’t told. Or I’m not invited. “I don’t recall Horner telling me about a celebration.”

“Oh no,” he shakes his head before leaning in to whisper in my ear, “we don’t party with the bosses all the time. I’m talking about just anyone that isn't the boss.”

I frown, “You called me Lady Boss more than twice.” 

He wraps his arm around me, pulling me close as he looks at me with a lazy smirk, “We do like to party with powerful women. We all know what’s behind all of that dominance.”

I recoil, pushing him away with a dirty look as he bursts out of laughter. His amusement affects my own as I smile, snatching the towel he dried himself off with and smacking him with it. 

“Such a perverted thing to say, Ricciardo,” I smack him again, this time my hand lands on his chest lightly.

“Between you and Toto someone’s got to give up some control— OW JESUS, TILLY!” Daniel wheezes as I slap him again. If he couldn’t stop speaking, I suppose smacking the air out of his lungs would do it. 

The bad thing about our banter is that Lewis caught onto it. He takes my vulnerable situation as an opportunity to sling his arm around me. “Daniel, what were you trying to tell her again? Look at her, she’s so flushed!” 

“Just because you’re the winner it doesn’t mean you get to make fun of me, Lewis Hamilton,” I try to push him off but he’s giggling and has his arm around me still. Daniel does the same, putting me in between the two of them as they continue to joke around with me. 

It doesn’t take long until they’re called up to the podium to be presented with Lewis’ trophy. The crowd roars in excitement and cameras click and flash. I’m standing at the side, the sight of the top three has me squirming in happiness. Each of them has a bottle of champagne in hand and it doesn’t take Daniel, Valtteri and Lewis long to pop the cork. 

My brain begins to melt at the overwhelming excitement that takes over my body. I’m not sure if this is just a temporary thing, but I know for a fact that it feels so… euphoric. The moment I’m in the haze, my rational thoughts and actions are long forgotten.

Lewis turns to look at the side, gesturing at something that isn’t me. At first I wanted to ask if he’s speaking to me, but a pair of heavy hands settled on my hips as I heard a, “‘Scuse me, Schatz.” 

My head snaps at Toto’s direction as he walks up to celebrate with Bottas and Lewis. The Mercedes Team Principal, as if he’s anticipating it, lifted his chin up as Lewis showered him with the champagne. The alcohol wastes no time to soak his face down to his shirt, him grinning mischievously as Valteri continues to soak him too. 

My brain short circuited for a second, and my eyes involuntarily watched as Toto’s right hand ran through his now-damp hair. I haven’t even paid attention to anyone but him. Daniel had taken this as a chance to drag me to where he was once and showered me with champagne.

“Daniel! What the fu—“ but all I hear is hollering. From the crowd. From the drivers on the podium. From my family, who are standing by the front. I can see Sylvie and Stevie with their phones out, probably taking the most embarrassing photos that will last a lifetime. 

My baby blue button-up is soaking wet, I’m thankful that I never wore full makeup besides from the tube of red lipstick that I bring with me. 

Daniel continues to encourage me to drink, and just to fuck around, my mouth opens up with my chin lifted as Daniel hollers and pours champagne into my mouth. The liquid splatters and the euphoria washes over me. My eyes are trained at Toto for a moment, watching him as he continues to look at his driver proudly before he turns to look at me with a smug smile. 

I can’t even say anything to him, my brain has left. And even if I do say something, Daniel has already beaten me to it by nudging me. 

I grin as I witness him drink champagne on his shoe— they call it a shoey. It’s an Australian thing, I believe. At this moment I wonder what kind of tradition did Britain have. But my brain disappears once more when he offers me his shoe. 

My mind said no for a moment, but what did I have to lose? 

My hand snatches the alcohol-filled wear, cringing at the burning sensation that fills my throat as I wipe my mouth. A grin remains in my lips as everyone begins to clap for the winners.

I can’t help but look at Toto, who returns my look as he winks and smirks. Like he’s got tricks up his sleeve to show. I roll my eyes with exaggeration, chuckling as I mouth, “Congratulations.”

If this won’t make it to the sports headlines, then I don’t know what will. 

[celestie0]

🪷 CTFUUUUUU your gojo and reader sex tape post was so hilarious omg. Ngl to me they don't give the vibes of a couple that make one (I don't mean this as an insult omfg now that I wrote it it sounds rude as hell) but the type who are professional phone fuckers.

Doja cat's Cyber sex is their national anthem I just know it I had a little locker room talk with reader she told me 😙. And yeah what you said abt gojo's schedule being all over the place as a player I'd thought that too, which is why phone sex is 🔛🔝 for these two. Just two freaky frogs omg I know that dude sluts her out bad and she doesn't want it any other way

He's a player (the *other* type of player) too so ofc he'd have expertise in the area of tasteful nudes but reader's learning curve will be so exponential gojo would be left in the dust in a short amount of time😁 RIP BOZO‼️

Imagine a little roleplay scenario where reader dresses up as a cheerleader for gojo after he returns from winning some final match as a victory treat. That dong goes up at an angle of elevation so steep you could make a mean trigonometric question off of it. I need him BAD I need him esp when he's sweaty after a gym or practice session I'd climb that man like jack was climbing that beanstalk.

Anyway I hope you've been doing well sweets! Thanks for being so nice to me in your last ask and I cannot wait to see what you have in store for us I wanna see that horndog be his authentic slutty self around reader finally 🗣️🗣️

Imagine a little roleplay scenario where reader dresses up as a cheerleader for gojo after he returns from winning some final match as a victory treat.

oh dear sweet baby jesus the scream i SCRUMPT AT THIS…HOW HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT oh mygooodd that’d be so fuckin hot 😩😩😩 i ran to add that to my notes LOL my head is in my hands i need to write that so fucking bad. HIM RAILING HER WHILE SHE’s WEARING A SKIMPY LIL CHEERLEADER COSTUME AFTER HE JUST PLAYED AN INTENSE GAME babe u cooked w this ty

HAHAHA i feel like they would make a sex tape but they obv wouldnt post it or anything lol it’d just be something they’d do when they’re both drunk asf while on vacation in their hotel room n then they freak out once they get home n realize they lost the flashdrive n someone out there in barcelona is now jerking off to their amateur avante garde porno

And yeah what you said abt gojo's schedule being all over the place as a player I'd thought that too, which is why phone sex is 🔛🔝 for these two. Just two freaky frogs omg I know that dude sluts her out bad and she doesn't want it any other way

okay you’re so right ab cyber sex being (at least post grad) kickoff couple’s anthem 🤧 that “i wish u were here rn” yup. but also LMFAO THATS SO TRUE AB THE SLUTTIN HER OUT he’d have her so downbad she’s flashing her titties at the webcam just cuz she wants to see him cum all over his stomach while he’s jerking himself off to her pixels ✋🏼😩 i was not anticipating to start this day off so horny LOL

idk i like to think all the nudes kickoff gojo has received in his life have been raunchy asf so when he’s so desperate to get a glimpse of kickoff reader while he’s away for work n is like “babe send me a pic please” for the first time n she sends something that’s genuinely really tasteful n artistic n subtle but sexy n leaves a bit to the imagination i feel like that wld drive him more insane than any explicit nude ever would HAHAHAHA

THE DONG GOIN UP YOU COULD PERFORM TRIG ON IT IM CRYING babe i wish to be half as funny as you are some day 🤣🤣

thanks my lovee omg im so happy you’re looking forward to it :””) 💕 you’re my honeybunch sugarplum pumpyumpyumpkin i love yaaa

- ellie 🐸

[taylortruther]

I know everyone is hypothesizing that most TTPD songs are gonna be heart wrenchingly sad, but my theory is that she bout to drop a Bejeweled or Karma halfway through the album and then peace out. Remember when people thought I Can See You would be a cute little breakup anthem and then we got "I can see you up against a wall with me🤪"

Like The Bolter gives me major Getaway Car vibes and this is a hill I've decided to die on. Something tells me it was written around the time we got our first Taylor sighting after the breakup in THAT outfit if ykyk.

I mean Joe WAS her longest relationship so ofc we'll get a lot of songs about him but she also is in a very happy and healthy relationship currently and idk if you guys remember that one article with "she also thinks he's hot" in reference to Travis sooo

Taylor has SO much else going on other than Joe, and I would argue this is the busiest she's ever been. She wont waste thi oppurtunity, especially when the whole world is listening. The album is going to be very diverse imo.

It could very well be a Reputation scenario where we think it's gonna be a super bitter or devastating album and instead it's just another 'Only bought this dress so you can take it off' situation.

Down Bad is also an insane song title for Taylor, alongside I Can Fix Him and But Daddy I Love Him like sweet Jesus how are people not more excited?

are people on your dash not more excited?

also, a bop =/= happy! i think a lot of us know it will be sonically diverse, and even the lighter songs will have a tinge of darkness, because... that seems to be taylor's MO especially lately. like, getaway car is a really sad song fjdakl "i used you then betrayed you, and i was crying in a getaway car, i was dying in a getaway car, said goodbye in a getaway car"...

[bawnjourno]

Chicago Sparks Rambles!!!

It was so slay to meet Claire @rhythmthlef Eiffel @thedevotionaltour and Sarah @ron-do-i-get-to-sing-my-way and to ofc be with my bff Alissa @taintmansion . Everyone looked so yass and slay and our group pic got on the insta story!

Also shoutout to @churippu who was so sweet and gave us the grooviest stickers in the merch line! I can’t wait to find a place for my sparkly suit Russell.

I NEVER go crazy at merch tables and have spent months not going to the movies, buying records, or eating out, so I got… 3 t-shirts, a tote bag, socks, and the pin set 💪 I love all my swag!

ofc last year in Chicago (same venue) was a bit more subdued all around energy wise bc it was still during COVID but the crowd was great this time. I wish we’d stood earlier (seated venues are like that sometimes) but the people in the front row were up dancing like crazy the whole time and other people were dancing in the aisles!

Those first few opening songs obviously went hard but I was LIVINGGGGGG during Beaver and Ron’s piano/Stevie’s drums in Nothing Is As Good As They Say It Is were fire. And Russell’s vocals in general jesus! How do u do that dude!!!

It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way has meant a lot to me personally for various reasons - mainly, I’ve felt weird and uncool my whole life and I find my passion in meaning in making art and using that art to connect with people who DO understand me - and so Russell was just introducing it and I started crying and cried the whole song 😭

Then cut to Balls when we NEEDED to get our fist pumps on!! ✊🟢

I love that they kept Shopping Mall Of Love bc people were screaming for Ronnie like it was Beatlemania. Love that bridge clapping also!

Toughest Girl In Town had one of the coolest arrangements eva god it was beautiful. And We Go Dancing went crazyyyyyyyy like I will never be that in shape in my LIFE

Eli ate that Bon Voyage solo tf up 🎸

By MTYCTD everyone was standing and dancing and the fire alarm started going off mid song but we all just ignored it 😭😭😭 tfw they are literally hotter than your mama will ever be. And the song ends and Russell just goes [slightly bitchy voice] “okayyyyyyyy. everything’s fine, carry on as you were” fjjfjfjfjfjjd

The 1 2 3 punch of Heaven My Way This Town is always godly. I made sure to scream my lungs out during the shuffle wahhhhh.

I can’t remember at what point but like 2/3 through the set maybe? In between songs Russell just starts singing 🎶My kind of town, Chicago🎶 it was really sweet

I wish they’d done the full Gee That Was Fun but the mini version served well as a final pre encore song 🥹

I had forgotten about the rainbow lights during Baby’s so thank god I was recording wahhhhhh that song goes so hard

All That was worse than IDHTBTW like I started sobbing and couldn’t stop until they left the stage 😭 They just mean so much to me!!! And Ron made a lil speech thanking us and said “I know it sounds hackneyed but at this point in the night I can’t avoid sounding hackneyed” and I mean ofc they’d say this but they said “best Chicago visit yet” which was nice

The standing ovation after All That and the pic was like 3-4 minutes long and Alissa commented on it and Claire just went “I could go all night baby!” which like so true

Russell made 🫶🫰 at the audience during this standing o and Alissa just screamed “KPOP KING !”

I stood on my chair and still didn’t get in the pic but Ron was technically on top of me so 💪😌

Random asides: got so many compliments on my Ron outfit! Sparks fans are the nicest! When our group met in the Dunkin a nice blonde woman walking outside flashed me a thumbs up from the window and then she was front row. We actually chatted after and she said she was considering going to Milwaukee last minute. Girl do it!!!! And when I got to merch and said “okay let’s start with the tote bag bc i’m gonna go a little crazy” the person in the left half of the line laughed and was encouraging lol.

Alissa and I waited outside for about half an hour and I guess the guys had been whisked away long beforehand 😅 but we said hi to Evan and Max and they were super nice!

One of the best shows I’ve ever been to. Once of the most meaningful and profound. So glad I have a favorite band. So glad I have great friends to do it all with. Gee That Was Fun (real)

Sparkle on ✨

[daenystheedreamer]

pls more abt viserys Omaegorverse I'm so fascinated it's insane and i honestly think grrm would b proud

im so happy u love it and this means so much but i do NOT think he would be proud 😭 he would read my posts (gun to his head ofc he wouldnt just. do that.) and sit in silence for a few minutes and then he would say. Maegor isnt gay what are you talking about. and i go well thats not really the point and anyway sexuality is kinda fluid and its more about opportunity and power than about sexual attraction although i will concede- and then he sends elio and linda with spears to hunt me down.

he's canonically a nothing character with personality of 'Beloved Of The Commons' n nothing else so i can kinda do whatever tf i want with him which is fun. he's also mostly there to be a sad wet cat that gets kicked by everyone and everyone he loves dies or is weird about him in some way. he's my special little sad uke twink i brutalise for my personal entertainment <3 im so maegorcoded so tyannacoded... anyway more about my babyboy viserys below<3 warning its SOOO long like fifteen fucking paragraphs Jesus christ

trigger warnings for like everything. incest death depression mental instability murder psychosis uhhh. torture and suicide. just all of it do NOT read unless youre like super certain you wanna read about my deviantart OCs because guys it is NOT worth it

childhood pre-Torture Labyrinth. he's born in 29 AC and was 8-ish when he was at the deathbed of Aegon1. aegon the uncrowned is three years older than him, and rhaena is six years older. jaehaerys is 5 years younger, alysanne is 7 years younger vaella who i kept alive is 10 years younger. just to give an idea of ages and general canon info :>

his only personality trait is Promising and Beloved of the commons. i think him and aegon were friends :) younger brother so he followed after him a lot. slightly scared of rhaena the big cool older sister who has a pet dragon. think his granddad is soooo cool doesnt really think about The Implications of conquest or anything. normal boy normal childhood (as normal as possible when ur siblings are married...) also he is gay because it adds to the horrors later on 🥰

something i think is Inchresting is the rhaena, aegon and viserys are named for rhaenys, aegon and visenya :3 i think viserys is like hercules right where he was named in an attempt to appease The Wife. aenys was like hiiiii auntie/stepmum visenya look i named a kid after you you dont wanna kill me right?right? and she looks at this kid who didnt claim a dragon isnt a girl isnt maegor and goes oh so youre insulting me huh.

i think rhaena aegon viserys had a slightly weird dynamic. rhaena the lesbian getting forcibly betrothed to her younger brother by her father is gonna make things weird, also aegon was 15 and rhaena 18 which adds just the best most awesome sauce to the mix. i think viserys had very complicated feelings on that especially if he is gay cos like... rhaena obviously does not love her brother romantically right. so u are a boy and ur sister is a lesbian but you dont have that word. and you are gay and your brother is cool and the crown prince and everyone is screwing their siblings and that makes your brain chemistry weird. and now your brother is marrying your gay sister. What about you. the dragon has three heads??? idk he's like 12 at this point he just goes back to playing hide and seek with jae+aly.

Uh oh daddy's dead. daddy's dead and uncle maegor is king now with his three wives. Uh oh. oh awesome he's kidnapped you and you're his squire now that's so cool. well its mostly a power play and hes not actually making u do anything as long as you stay locked in the red keep all day he leaves you alone. also maegor's insane girlfriend stares at you like you're a baby lamb that would make a delicious lamb tostada. but hey your big brother aegon has a dragon now and him and rhaena are gonna save you soon. Uh oh aegon's dead. aegon's dead and maegor is king for real for real.

everyone steers clear of you in the keep. you used to play with your siblings and the commoners and you used to play on dragonstone and kings landing and now no one wants to touch you. no one is calling you maegor's squire now, the pretence is gone. you are maegor's hostage. you fantasise about a different outcome, where maegor took you to the battle as his squire, and that you being there might have changed what happened. maybe you could have warned aegon. but you know nothing would have changed. youre not a dragonrider. you're worthless you're powerless. youre 14 years old :)

alys harroway is dead. maegor killed his wife. you knew alys, you saw her around the keep. she seemed very nice. she was very quiet and stayed in her rooms. she was always pregnant. you wonder why she married maegor, why she and tyanna are so strange with each other. you hear rumours. you wish you had talked to her. but she's dead now. maegor killed her. maegor tortured her. she's a whore now. you look out the window and see her rotting leg on a stake outside, her torso on another. you wish you had talked to her.

visenya targaryen the looming shadow over your life, the woman you're named after who looked at you with nothing but scorn, is dead. your mother is gone and she took jae and aly. what about you? what about you? is she not your mother too? are you not her little boy anymore? you are 15 years old. maegor killed alys' family when he was angry with her. is he going to kill you now?

ok second person pov over the gimmick is getting lame. anyway this is where the AU deviates: instead of viserys dying of torture, maegor is like hey maybe my nephew will be more fertile than my BITCH wives. and visenya the blood witch before her death compiled a bunch of old valyrian a/b/o fanfiction and said son if you ever find yourself with infertile wives. Consult These Texts. then tyanna and maegor made viserys mpreggable i dont care about how or like. what his body looks like. im not into the fetish of omegaverse LMAO i dont want to think about the fertilisation or birthing process or what organs he has thats unnecessary. only thing thats important is viserys can incubate babies and they are birthed via c-section :3

quick lore dump: vis is forced to maegor -> rhaena crashes the wedding but vis is so broken at this point he just doesnt want anyone else to die and has resigned himself to maegor so rhaena reluctantly surrenders -> alyssa jae and aly DO go to the red keep after they find out about the wedding and jae dies fighting maegor which makes viserys fully break -> alyssa now has husband dead 2 kids dead her son is queen and she also loses her fight :( lives on dragonstone with alive vaella -> alysanne is given to the faith -> rhaena agrees to a truce and she is hand of the king now and viserys' main protector -> vis gets pregnant and the kid is basically a reincarnation of jaehaerys -> tyanna loses her shit and tries to murder/sterilise/whatever viserys so maegor kills her cos he's finally got his babymaker -> vis has a daughter who's the reincarnation of tyanna -> faith uprising, shut down -> vis has his second daughter final child daenys who's birth is heralded by the martyrdom of poxy jeyne poor in the quashed faith uprising

vis is in the torture labyrinth for a couple decades. life sucks husband sucks everyone is weird about him. very death in venice people are weird about the boy type deal. has to wade through gender and sexuality politics of westeros which means several men going utterly insane about him including a couple kingsguard knights (celibate hypermasculine freaks bound to be insane sexually). one point early-ish on he DOES start believing this one kingsguard knight will save him from The Hells The Horrors but maegor finds out and kills that guy adn sexually humiliates viserys in front of the kingsguard and makes their son watch. So that fucks up vis' psyche for a while :3

rhaena and alysanne try to convince him to rebel and run away that they will use their dragons and fight. but maegor has made vis so paranoid and crazy he thinks maegor knows everything knows all his thoughts so he's terrified of plotting escape cos he thinks maegor will kill everyone. plus maegor made sure to force kids onto him early so that vis wouldnt be able to leave :3 world's most evil babytrap of all time.

vis doesnt interact with anyone except rhaena aly maegor his kids and the kingsguard so yeah its bad for him. ceryse hangs around for a while but shes like yeah i dont want any part of this shit dude being queen is NAWT worth it and she goes back to the hightower to plot marrying her niece off to maegor's son.

also there's a curse on the kingsguard all of them die really horribly and early. its a fun little thing for me personally because in f&b maegor's kinsguard is cartoonishly bad and jae's is cartoonishly perfect so i though Hey what if we did a little curse on the kingsguard ey. that would be fun. the only guy who stays long is a bracken because brackenfail cancels out knightfail. he's all godly and pissy about the gay marriage thing but he's also a monarchist so even though he think maegor is satan he's like well. he is my king i must serve him i obey my vows. he thinks viserys is a freak of nature but slowly grows to respect him and helps kill maegor + takes the fall for it. they have a weird father figure/white knight/weird tension thing that never gets consummated yay ^_^ the maegor torture labyrinth will have you 21 years old and best friends with a 50 year old celibate knight like dang where tf ser bracken at today 🥹

viserys snaps in 66AC with no like big catalyst or anything. he just has a good day where he's mostly lucid and he's angry and he's tired of everything and he's sick of maegor and he wants freedom he wants to be free. he wants to breath the air without panicking that maegor is going to hurt him. and maegor says some disgusting comment to him while theyre alone in the throne room and vis just snaps and start fighting him. daenys shows up cos she had her own Visions and Voices and they just start whaling on him. bracken knight helps too he takes most of maegor's counter attacks his organs are all over the floor but maegor dies impaled on the throne YAY

vis is like. A bit better for a while. his son is now king and vis is seeing that oh it doesnt get better does it people will still die. also his son jae has this weird oedipus complex about him thanks to maegor's insane parenting and viserys is fully aware of that so its not fun times for him. jae and daenys try to make him better try to invent therapy but its the middle ages they dont have that yet. they finally send him off to harrenhal (BAD IDEA) because they think viserra (the elder daughter btw, the tyanna one) might be able to cure him with her weird witchcraft. they think she's insane too but its the last option... viserra thinks vis is lame and weak but she does love him in ehr own way or maybe just pities him. anyway she does her best and it works for a while but viserys sorta gives up cos the depression is too much. and viserra believes in euthanasia as a mercy and thinks this is best for him this will let him be at peace. daenys has a premonition about it and tries to stop him. she has a big blowout fight with jae about it too and curses his bloodline and prophesises the long night. burned the red keep a little bit, you know how it is.

blah blah blah anyway daenys and vis end up dying in the gods eye together in a murder/suicide suicide/suicide murder/murder whatever. viserra has the lake dragged and they're found holding each other like a mother and her fetus :3

Fucks sake this post is long. holy shit holy fuck. my fucking bad guys my bad im so sorry. Holy shit. anyway thats my deviant art oc tee hee ^_^

[imaginespazzi]

Bonjour bestie lol (and thanks Im always happy interacting here)

Yeah I personally had no serious complaints about Paris. Even lucky w nice weather. It was staggering to see the amount of tourists even at an off season! Great all around experience, but do recognize that a short trip/visit is a skewed version of a place. And I'll totally back you, I mean visually its just dreamy. Trivia tidbits for all - did you know that France is the most visited country in the world and that the government price controls baguettes? Thats so cool you speak French to that level. I can only claim moderate Español, studying up to two years through college. And to be fair I think I referenced my trip destination as the "wifey's motherland" ha so it probably didnt totally register. Side note I miss watching her games 🙁.

Ok I do now think that after the new GH chapter I am entitled to compensation via free language lessons or something. Sweet suffering Jesus 🙇‍♀️. Like I saw your warning and Im also always onboard w angst for plot development and whatnot. But that entire read was so much worse than I couldve envisioned! Kindly asking for a remedy w/in no more than 21 days (I think thats a fair amount of time, plus the holidays are nearing so you have to be thoughtful on principle 😅) Yup think we'll just stay posted and see what noteworthy game results and dramatics lay ahead for our entertainment. I wished that the S Car/NC State & Iowa/VT had been better game to watch.. Patiently waiting for Paige menace activity on this special day! Are we thinking that Ms "thats how petty she is" is waiting to post at a later time than A did? Lol. No but Im sure they had their usual busy days and ofc are doing what actual celebrating they can

-☕️

Bonjour mon ami <3

Oh yayy love that the weather cooperated. That's one of my biggest fears on vacations, that I'll be stuck in icky weather because that will genuinely ruin everything for me.

I did know it was the most visited but had no idea about the price controlling of baguettes lmfao. I don't know much about economics but I'd assume that's beneficial to them?

Ah yes I think I just didn't process wifey's motherland correctly. Also we're at the point where I saw a picture of her the other day and you were the first person I thought of so like y'all kinda have to be together now.

LMFAO you can have all the free language lessons after that chapter fs lol. I'd like to think it won't take me 21 days this time but who really knows with me and my hectic life.

Yes still nothing very interesting in the top 15. Some good upsets (Harvad-IU for example) outside of that but sometimes that's more just because those 15-25 spots is in essence a revolving door for the top 15-35 actually. Excited for us vs UNC though!

Paige did her biggest one with her stories and I'll never get over them! And them having breakfast with Azzi's grandparents is the cutest thing ever; they're so dometic lemme go cry.

[colorsunimaginable]

the spare // chapter sixty-five // death eater ! tom hiddleston oc x plus size ofc - voldemort wins au

story summary: 

While on a mission to avenge the death of her best friend, Ilvermorny graduate Melisa Alder finds herself in the middle of the fight to defeat Voldemort. Upon capture after the Dark Lord's triumph, she's being sold at an auction with other muggle borns and blood traitors. Her only hope is also her only bidder - the tall, dark, and handsome Thomus Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy's younger half-brother. Is he just another Death Eater or is he hiding more than just his face beneath the mask? Will she realize her true potential to be one of the resistance's greatest weapons?

*a Voldemort Wins AU with Tom Hiddleston cast as an OC x a plus size protagonist* *takes place in The Auction universe by Lovesbitca8*

words for this chapter: 5.8k warnings for this chapter: none

my lovely beta reader 💕 banner credit @cafekitsune

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

Chapter Sixty-Five:

“What happened to the TV?” Thomus asks when we return to the cottage. 

I let out a disappointed sigh, having already prepared a believable lie. “I woke up from a nap on the couch and found it broken. Honestly, I’m really sad about it.”

He stands before TV and tilts it back, taking a longer look at the crack in the screen. “Have you not tried to fix it?”

I snort, tucking my legs under me as I sit on the couch. “Magic won’t fix that.”

“That’s a shame,” he says, sounding genuine. He comes to the couch and sits next to me, one leg over the other, an arm along the back behind my shoulders. “Perhaps I can get you one for Christmas.”

My eyebrows come together and I blink. “Christmas?”

The backs of his fingers casually rub against the back of my shoulder as he nods. “Yes, Christmas. It’s a little over a week from now.”

I still stare at him in disbelief. “You’re shitting me.”

He lets out a soft chuckle. “Afraid not.”

“I guess that explains the snow,” I say, looking out the window at the untouched blanket outside. “Christmas is something you guys are still celebrating?”

“You ‘guys’ as in –“

“Death Eaters, and you know, the general magical population,” I fill in. “I wouldn’t imagine there’s too much to celebrate with the war going on.”

“I can’t speak for the average witch or wizard, but those who support the Great Order believe they do.” 

His wording is confusing. “And where does that leave you?” 

“I’m grateful my family and those I care about are alive and well,” he says after a moments’ thought. 

“But you still support the war?” 

His relaxed posture shifts, spine straightening, lips forming a hard line. Even a muscle in his jaw ticks. “Of course.”

I make a face and turn away. The little spark of hope I’d had is smothered once again. “Should’ve guessed.”

“Do the… Alders have any Christmas traditions?” he asks, his tone relaxed once more. 

My head swivels back to him. Again he looks genuine, as if he regrets upsetting me.

“Um,” I start, unsure of what would be considered a tradition amongst my family. “I mean, they set up a tree, do presents, have a special dinner the day of.” I shrug. “Pretty standard.”

“So you celebrate the birth of that wizard?”

At that I have to laugh. “You mean Jesus?”

“Yes, that’s the one. I’ve heard he walked on water and turned water into wine.”

“So they say,” I reply. “My mom’s the only one who goes to church. I wouldn’t even consider her religious - she just does a lot with music. She sings in the adult choir, directs the kids choir, and is in the church band. During the Christmas Eve service she usually solos Silent Night in German and I like going to hear her sing.” I stare at the fireplace while I speak, but then I glance at him and suddenly feel shy. “I guess that’s a tradition of mine because eventually I won’t be able to.”

His blue gaze is tender, like he understands. “No time wasted.”

I nod. “Did you ever spend time with your mom for the holidays?”

“When I was younger, before she married, yes,” he says. “I hardly had contact with her after.”

“Really?” I ask, surprised. “I’m sorry to hear that. It must’ve been difficult.” I think of the dark-haired woman who looked at baby Thomus with nothing but love in the film I developed. “For both of you.”

He makes a doubtful noise and shakes his head. “I sent her countless letters, but the only one I received in return was the news she was dying.” 

My jaw drops as I suck in a little gasp. My reaction must be encouraging because he continues. 

“It was from her other son, my younger brother, Casey, whom I didn’t know existed until that letter. He reached out because she kept asking for me.”

“You have another half-brother?”

He nods. “I think he’s about your age. I’m assuming he attended Ilvermorny.”

“Hm, I don’t remember any Casey’s, but Ilvermorny’s massive, so it’s not surprising,” I say. “But you went?”

“Yes,” he replies softly, his eyes on the snow. 

“Did you get any closure?”

“I don’t know if I’d call it closure,” he murmurs, looking pensive as he shakes his head slightly. “I think I’ve been too angry to really be at peace.”

“Angry with yourself?” I gently prod.

“Myself, my parents, Lucius… the list goes on.”

“Hm, well, that checks out,” I tease. “Anger does seem to be a personality trait of yours.”

His eyes bounce to me and I clamp my lips together to smother my grin. Trying to hold back my amusement has the opposite effect and a giggle slips through. 

“Yes, ha ha, very funny,” he replies dryly, and that only makes me laugh more. 

While I’m busy laughing, his hand goes from my shoulder to my cheek, and the next thing I know, he’s leaning forward to crush his lips to mine. It’s a surprise, but not one I reject. I readily kiss him back and get lost in it. 

After a few moments, he pulls his lips away and rests his forehead against mine, our heavy breaths between us. 

“I’ve missed your laugh,” he admits so softly, I’m not sure I heard him correctly. It makes my heart pound and my face flood with heat. 

I have no idea how to respond, so I run my hands up his chest and grip his shirt to pull his mouth back to mine. 

~*~

The next morning, I enter Thomus’ room after a shower to find him propped up in bed with a book. Wrapped in a towel, but mostly dry, I climb up onto the mattress and sit next to him, legs criss crossed. I’m facing him and his eyes immediately drop to between my legs, but unfortunately for him I’m covered by the towel. 

“So, I’ve been thinking,” I start, and he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and closes his book. 

“About?”

“Would it be impolite if I asked for something for Christmas?” 

His head tilts curiously, but his expression is skeptical. I’m nervous, so I don’t wait for him to respond before I continue.

“Even though you mentioned the TV, I’m obviously not expecting you to actually get me anything. This is more of an 'I’m hoping you’ll allow me to do this' sort of thing, because I’m hoping that since it’s Christmas, the usual rules can be… bent, you know?”

I pause because I’m waiting for Thomus to shut me down. He definitely doesn’t like where this conversation is going, as evidenced by his frown, but I keep going.

“So what I’m really asking is to do my hair,” I say, fingering the still-wet ends around my shoulders. “My roots have really grown out and so in addition to cutting it again, I need to bleach and redye my hair.”

“You have your magic, I’m not stopping you from cutting it,” he says. “You can do whatever you want to your hair.”

“Yes, I understand that, but I need the materials to do it.”

His face suddenly dawns in understanding. “You need me to run to a muggle shop, don’t you?”

I smile sheepishly. “Um, no. I should have everything I need, but I don’t… have it. It’s in my vault at Gringotts.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You keep hair products in a bank vault?”

“No,” I sigh. “Before shit really hit the fan at the end of April, I put my backpack there. There’s things in it that I didn’t want to risk losing, but it’s also just what I carried all my crap in, so what I need to do my hair is also in there.”

Thomus looks me up and down. “Where have you put your key?”

“I don’t have one,” I say slowly. “I knew that I’d probably lose it, so I asked for an alternative option.”

“Which would be?”

“My blood, fresh from my body.” I wince when I realize I probably said that far too cheerfully. “So I’ll need to come with you.”

“I see,” he says and a cheeky smile vanishes the serious expression on his face. “Well, I have one condition, and I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

~*~

Thomus had been right. I absolutely do not like his condition. 

“Hold this,” Thomus says, handing me the end of the leash he just fastened at the back of my neck. Now he’s swinging that dark green cloak around my shoulders. 

I sigh heavily, failing to hold back my annoyance. 

“Don’t worry,” he says, stepping back and slipping the leash over his wrist. “The Muggles can’t see it and anyone else wouldn’t dare comment on it.”

“I just don’t see why I have to wear it in the first place. I didn’t try to escape the last time we went to London.”

“You also had a dislocated shoulder, so you weren’t exactly a flight risk.”

“I wouldn’t try to leave,” I argue, pulling my hair out from beneath the cloak. “I’m not that stupid.”

He waves his wand across his face once, his Death Eater mask materializing into place. “I never said you were.”

He readies the Floo powder in one hand and holds the other out for me. I pull up my left sleeve, exposing the tattoo of his name. His fingers find it as he calls out for the Leaky Cauldron and we step through the fireplace. 

From the moment we step foot in the pub, I keep my head down, even though I feel eyes on me. We’ve clearly stopped in during their lunch hours because the place is packed. With the chain, I feel like I’ve got a big red A on my chest. As we make our way to the bricked entrance to Diagon Alley, I peek up at him to see his mask bob when he nods to someone I don’t know.

The first thing I notice about Diagon Alley is it’s covered with snow, the uneven cobble stones revealed by muddy footpaths. Daring to look around, I see most of the shops are still sitting abandoned or boarded up. 

“Put your hood up,” Thomus orders softly as we approach Knockturn Alley. There’s a few figures loitering about the entrance, and one of them is Greyback with his fur-tufted ears peeking out over his collar. 

I hastily do as Thomus asks and my other hand shoots to his, drawing my strides closer to him. We walk on the farthest side of the alley, Thomus keeping himself between them and me. I have half a mind to cast a Disillusionment charm, but I fear it won’t be as sneaky as I would hope for. Thomus is keeping his head forward and I’m following his lead. 

Despite my heart thumping loudly in my ears, I can still hear two very distinct sniffs. Thomus doesn’t react to Greyback’s subtle low growl and walks on.

I, however, do not possess that much self-control. 

My head turns within the hood of my cloak and I only catch sight of him with one eye, but it’s enough. He’s staring right at me. I swivel my face forward, gripping Thomus’ hand tighter. 

All I want is for him to forget he even saw me, or at least forget the clear intent in his expression. No, I can’t do a disillusionment charm, but I can do something better.

When I turn my face back, I make sure both eyes are narrowed on him as I shoot him a silent Confundo. 

Greyback blinks, shakes his head, and looks away, suddenly disinterested. 

My eyes dart to Thomus, making sure he didn’t notice. I don’t think the guy standing with Greyback noticed either, thank god. 

I feel like shit for already breaking my promise to him, no matter how much I can justify using my magic.

My grip on Thomus doesn’t ease as we make our way to Gringotts and I pull my hood down once inside. I take in the extravagant golden tiled floor and glass dome roof, looking very much the same as when I was last here. No one could possibly have guessed a few months ago a dragon broke through from the caverns below.

Thomus took us straight to the tallest desk at the end of the aisle. Behind it sits the oldest looking goblin I’ve ever seen. Gravity pulls on her skin, making her eyelids droop down to the sides. Her wiry white hair is styled to look like a beehive, and just above her bangs sits a jeweled little bumble bee, glittering every time she turns her head.

Her black eyes latch onto Thomus as we draw near and she smiles down at him when he vanishes his mask. 

“You, sir, look very much like a young man I used to know,” she says, her voice extremely gravelly. “Your face says Abraxas Malfoy, but that hair -” She tsks and shakes her head “ - is definitely your mother. Though I wonder how far back we’d have to look to find those curls.”

“Good afternoon to you, too, Orla,” Thomus greets. “I thought you retired.”

Orla shakes her head. “Not yet. Too much going on, you know.” Her beady eyes land on me and the collar around my neck. “Care to state the nature of your visit?”

“I’m making a withdrawal from vault 581,” he states.

“Hm, I see.” She narrows her eyes and with a wave of her fingers, the book in front of her flips several pages. “It would seem vault 581 belongs to an American witch by the name of Melissa Alder.”

“The correct pronunciation is Mel-leesa, and you’ll find that the Mudblood in question is standing with me.”

My throat feels a little tighter that he'd even care to correct her on the pronunciation of my name. I don't even bother when it's someone I'm not going to interact with a whole bunch.

“Very well," she quips, "and you’ll find I must ask why you are making the withdrawal and not her?”

Thomus doesn’t hesitate. “Because under our current Ministry, this Mudblood belongs to me.” With his free hand, he digs into a pocket in his jacket, pulling out a small scroll. “This is the bill of sale, upon which you’ll find states everything belonging to Alder, is now my property. Including not only herself, but valuables and accounts.”

Orla unravels the scroll with her claw-like nails and inspects its contents. She looks up at him, clearly ready to say something, but he says, not without a hint of arrogance, “On the back.”

As she flips it onto the back, my eyes zero in on this document I’ve never seen or heard of before. Yet, there printed in black ink is my name alongside Thomus’ too-familiar signature. 

Just when I think this whole ordeal can’t humiliate me any further, I’m proven wrong. There’s government record of this shit-show?

“I see,” Orla says again, passing the scroll back to Thomus between two fingers. She sighs heavily and looks at him with new disdain. “Do you have her key?”

“There isn’t one,” he explains. “Hence why her presence is required.”

“Hmph,” she frowns. “Very well.” 

Orla stands with the slowness of her age, disappears behind the desk and emerges next to it on our level. She stands no taller than my hip, even with her updo. A lamp floats next to her head. “Follow me.”

The ride on the carriage track is short. I have a newer and smaller account, so it’s not all that far underground. We get off and approach a locker-sized door with 581 painted above it. In the middle of the metal door is a sharp point with the shallowest pool of water no larger than a Galleon cupped beneath it. I always dread this part. 

Wanting to get it over with, I step before the door and press the pad of my thumb onto the point. It easily slices through and I feel blood beading up along the cut before I dip my finger into the little pool. The water lights up around my blood like some kind of bioluminescence and locks audibly pull back behind the door. 

It swings open and my excitement and happiness eclipses all the stress to get here once I lay eyes on my backpack, nestled exactly as I left it. I quickly suck the rest of the blood out of the cut and grab my bag. I’m about to close the door when I remember something that’s in it. 

I unzip it and avoid Thomus’ eyes. “Hold on.”

My arm descends into the main compartment, feeling around for what I threw hastily inside. I step into the door, turning my back to Orla, but keeping Thomus privy to what I pull out. His eyes widen and he visibly tenses when he sees my wand. Before he can get any angrier, I quickly drop it on the shelf inside the vault and close it. With a sheepish smile, I hold the bag out to him. 

Now with suspicion in his narrowed eyes, he takes it and slings a strap over his shoulder, under his cloak. I turn my back to him, facing Orla. I give her the same smile, but hope it’s a bit more genuine. 

“Thank you,” I say softly. “All done.”

“Hmph,” she huffs, and repeats these words, but with a much more suggestive tone, “I see.”

~*~

Outside Gringotts, Thomus waits until no one’s looking and pulls me into the secluded alcove of an abandoned shop. 

“What the bloody hell was that?” he hisses, backing me into a corner. “I thought I could trust you.”

I raise my chin, glaring at him. “You can. That should make me even more trustworthy.”

“How do I know this wasn’t all a ruse?”

“If it was, why would I have left my wand there?”

“Maybe there’s something else you wanted in this bag.”

“And maybe,” I say, pulling it off his shoulder and yanking open the main compartment, “maybe I just want to do my hair.” My hand dives in again and I pull out the bottle of Hair Stay, the box of bright pink dye, and - “Shit.”

“What?”

“I don’t have any bleach,” I sigh. I toss the dye and potion back in, zipping it up and opening the small pouch in the front. My wallet’s still there, along with just enough British pounds to get what I need. “Can we go to a No-Maj store? I apparently don’t have everything I need like I had thought.”

He rolls his eyes. “I suppose I don’t have a choice.”

“Not if you want me to look pretty again,” I bite with a fake smile.

Thomus looks at me for a moment, then leans in so close I have to press my back against the charred door. His mouth connects with mine long enough to make me melt and relax as I realize he’s not really mad. 

“You never stopped,” he murmurs before giving me his back. 

I’m left dazed at his words until he tugs on the leash of my collar and I scurry after him. He takes my bag and puts it on his shoulder again before taking my hand, the chain on his wrist. 

He speaks to me again only when we’re out on the No-Maj streets. “I’m assuming you know what shop will have what you need?”

“Yeah, of course,” I reply. “There.”

The stop at the pharmacy is quick. It’s not a proper beauty store, but boxed bleach works just as well. At the counter to pay, Thomus hands the cashier money before I can even count out the correct amount. 

“Thanks,” I say while we wait for the correct change and receipt. He just gives me a crooked smile. 

When we get out onto the sidewalk, Thomus looks around, eyeing the different stores. 

“Are you looking for something specific?” I ask, bewildered as to what he could possibly want from a No-Maj store. 

“There’s a shop that I remember - oh, there it is,” he says, already pulling me by the hand to a store two doors down. 

“A hobby shop?” I ask. He doesn’t answer, just releases my hand and opens the door for me to enter first.

As I’m busy looking around, Thomus makes a beeline for the glass counter in the back. I have no choice but to follow him, and when I see what’s on the shelf behind the store clerk, I gasp.

It’s a Toshiba TV with a VHS and a DVD player. 

“Does that work?” I blurt out, pointing to the TV. 

The teenage worker looks back at it and reads verbatim off a bright orange sticker. “Yes, it works.” 

I blush and let out an embarrassed laugh. “Thanks. Is it plugged in? Can we test it?”

“Sure,” the worker says, grabbing a remote off the shelf next to it. He hits a button and the TV pops on, volume blasting the intro music to Gone with the Wind.

“We’ll take it,” Thomus says.

The worker gets busy lugging the 20 inch box off the shelf to the register and my eyes wander to the aisles of movies on display. 

“Is that all?” the worker asks.

“Give us like two seconds,” I say, tugging Thomus towards an aisle. The used DVDs are a pound each with the VHS tapes being half that. I quickly nab Home Alone 1 & 2, The Holiday, and The Polar Express, Christmas movies I know we don’t have in the bin. Cradling the DVD case and two tapes, I ask Thomus, “Anything that looks good to you?”

I glance up at him and his head is tilted, his eyes focused on scanning the shelves. When he doesn’t answer, I softly chuckle and slip the end of the leash off his wrist. “Well, you look here and I’ll check behind us.”

He nods absently, picking up The Dark Knight to read the back. 

By the time we leave, Thomus is lugging the TV under one arm while I have a full bag of our movie haul. As we were checking out, I tried very hard not to judge his choices. While my choices were movies like Forrest Gump, Back to the Future, and Wall-E, his were Sherlock Holmes, The Great Escape, and The Silence of the Lambs. I’m not saying his choices were bad, just different. I made sure to add my No-Maj money to the bills he counted out for the cashier, especially because I’d snuck in the boxed series of The Nanny.

To get home, Thomus doesn’t want to use the Floo in the Leaky Cauldron because that would reveal our location to those in the pub, so we chose to Apparate. We hide behind a dumpster in an alley to shrink the TV so it would fit inside my backpack. 

After we land and get inside the gate, I wait for Thomus as he closes the protective barriers. 

“What’re we watching first?” he asks.

“A Christmas movie, obviously,” I reply. “Have you heard of A Christmas Carol?”

Finished, we walk up the snow covered path to the front door. “By Charles Dickens? Yes, I’ve actually read that.”

“Good, because that’s the one I want to watch first.”

~*~

The version of A Christmas Carol Mary has is the one with Patrick Stewart, which just so happens to be my favorite. 

After the movie, we take a break so I can start on my hair and Thomus can pop out to visit Narcissa. When he comes back my hair is about four inches shorter and I’m half-way through bleaching my roots.

“Merlin, that smell is foul,” Thomus says as he saunters into the bathroom, propping himself on the edge of the tub. 

I’m focused on sectioning the last bit of hair from the back of my head, so I only respond with hums. Once I don’t have to concentrate so hard, I finally glance at him. 

“How’s Narcissa doing?” I ask. “With Draco being gone.”

“As well as can be expected,” he replies. “Luckily her mind’s preoccupied with party planning for the moment.”

“Party for what?” 

“The Dark Lord wishes for her to throw her annual New Year’s Eve Gala.”

“Oh,” I say, surprised. “Didn’t know he was such a partier.”

I hear him chuckle. “Not quite. She explained it’s to provide some kind of normalcy and amusement for his loyal followers.”

“The revels at Edinburgh aren’t enough?” I ask, a bit exasperated by this news.

“Edinburgh is for a specific crowd, if you haven’t noticed,” he explains. “The Gala will be… formal.” 

“Oh, so trading in the sex slaves for the wives, huh?” I roll my eyes and let out a big sigh, trying to not to get all worked up. “Surprise surprise.”

He shifts in his spot, crossing his arms. “I’ll be in and out to help her prepare.”

“‘Kay.”

“And then Christmas day we’re going to the Manor for dinner.”

“That’ll be nice.”

He tilts his head, sending me a questioning look. “You think so?”

“Better than being here alone.”

He looks down. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

~*~

My hair is a yellow bleach blond for the next few days to give it a break from the chemicals. There’s still some remnants of the pink on my ends, but it’s super faded. When Thomus first saw me he did a double take and spilt coffee on his sweater. 

I show him how to get into the attic, after making sure George’s temporary nest was cleared away first. We poke around the bins, looking for any Christmas decor, and hit the jackpot when we find a mini tree, complete with a box of little ornaments and lights. 

In the living room I clear the short bookshelf of Mary’s figurines, making space for the mini tree. I come back from placing the figurines on a shelf in the office to find Thomus struggling to get the tree stand put together. I wait for a few moments, pulling everything else out of the bin in the meantime, to see if he can figure it out. 

When he finally gets it standing on its own, he looks a bit chagrined. “Well, that was more difficult than I expected.”

“Seemed like it,” I chuckle, and pass him the tree skirt, which really seems more like a scarf. He just kinda stares at it and then at the tree. “That’s the skirt.”

“Right,” he says, holding it up. “The skirt.”

“Have you never done this before?” I ask. “Decorate a tree?”

“No,” he says slowly, tentatively wrapping the skirt around the base of the tree. “It was always a task the elves did, and usually when we weren’t around. Not to mention the trees were much larger and not…” he fingers the stiff artificial needles “made of plastic.”

“A real tree is much nicer, I agree, but this suits the space, I think,” I say, shrugging. I totally brush off his comment about never having decorated a tree before. My heart wants me to get all sentimental, but my brain reminds me to stay detached. I pass him the string of lights. “Here, plug these in.”

At least he understands that and plugs it into the outlet behind the bookcase. They’re pretty, multi-colored lights with ridged bulbs. I show him how to wrap the string around the tree, starting at the bottom and finishing at the top. I plug the star into the end of it and pop it onto the top. Then we start rummaging through the box of ornaments. 

They honestly make me sad. Most of them are homemade, clearly made by kids. A few say Merry Christmas Nanna with the year from a few decades ago. I sift around for non-personal ones. A Nutcracker, a turtle dove, a few trumpeting angels, and multiple Santa Claus heads. Since it’s technically his tree, I let him put them where he wants. A few miniature knitted candy canes finished it off. 

I come back from shoving the bin into the attic and find Thomus sitting on the couch, just admiring the tree. 

~*~

On Christmas Eve, I finish my hair and start baking. Thomus has been in and out, running errands for Narcissa, so when he comes back that night, Christmas music blasts from the record player, and there’s several different batches of cookies and a plate of cherry pie bars littering the kitchen. 

“Merlin’s beard, you’ve been busy,” he says, surprising me with a kiss to my cheek while I’m half soaked from doing dishes for the eighth time today. He sets a takeout bag on the counter. “Who’s army are you trying to feed?”

I shrug, feeling a blush spread to my cheeks. “It’s just for Christmas. I wouldn’t even know what to get everyone.”

He tucks my freshly pink hair behind my ear. “Feel better about your hair?”

“Much.” I nod toward the takeout bag and dry my hands. “Is that dinner?”

Thomus nods, turning to open the bag. “I thought you’d want a break from cooking, seeing that it’s Christmas.”

The moment I get a whiff of pure, authentic Chinese food, I almost start to weep. Instead, I stifle that urge and throw my arms around his shoulders, despite his protests because of my wet shirt. 

~*~

Thomus disappears into the office for a bit and I settle on the couch with the blazing fire and a cozy blanket. 

Despite the tree and the plethora of Christmas movies we’ve watched the last few days, it doesn’t really feel like Christmas. The absence of my loved ones is far more apparent this year. My family is an ocean away. This cottage I call home isn’t really mine, it’s just a place where I live. 

I reach for my backpack, where it’s sat mostly untouched except for the removal of my hair products, and plunge my arm into the main compartment. I feel around through clothes, books, and a camera bag. My fingers run along a smooth rubber wire that leads to my phone. It’s no doubt loaded with unanswered texts and voicemails from my parents wondering where I am and how I’m doing. 

As I hold it in my hand, I wonder what Jonathan’s been saying to them. What lie he’s told my parents to make them believe I’m okay. I wonder if it ever became too much, if they had too many questions he couldn’t answer, and he had to resort to the worst case scenario. 

Eventually I abandon my phone and continue my search. When I finally find what I’m looking for, at the very bottom of my bag, I pull out the two large, full photo albums.

I know looking through these probably isn’t in my best interest right now, but I’m already depressed, why not make it hurt a little more? Christmas is the time for looking back at old memories. 

A lot of them are pictures of Ilvermorny, especially in the beginning. I just couldn’t get over how beautiful the school was and I just had to share this special, most amazing place. Views from the front gates to walking the path from the nearby town with the school in the distance just barely emerging from the fog that keeps it hidden from No Majes. Our Quidditch pitch and outside stage for theater performances. She was most interested in the library, so I flip through at least two full pages of the seemingly endless rows of books, a few flying through on their way to their rightful shelf. 

The pages slowly transition to random students practicing spells in the halls or the courtyards. A few are of my homework working with mandrakes. We had to grow them ourselves from seeds and as someone who struggled with Herbology, I’d been so proud of my fully grown plant, so I had to snag a picture. 

I’d given Jonathan my camera during the Wandless Magic Tournaments. My first year competing, the tournament was held at the Salem Witches Institute. The school is almost entirely underground and despite the ceilings charmed to look like an endless sky, I couldn’t get past knowing that we were miles beneath the surface. 

Since I couldn’t bring my family, Jonathan came in their place. Cheering me on from the sidelines and managing to capture the ugliest, most unflattering images of me red-faced and sweating from nervousness. I’ll admit he did manage to capture how much of a badass I looked during the dueling portion though.

The pictures that hurt the most are the ones of Sam. She’s not alone in any of them, whether it’s me third-wheeling her and Jonathan, or us in front of museum signs or with a concert in the background. My favorite is one Jonathan caught of us on her couch, both curled up with our noses deep into our books. That one was taken around Christmas, her tree peeking out in the corner of the picture. Her favorite bit of magic I’d started to do once I was old enough was cast an illusion of a little witch with a Santa hat flying around on her broomstick. I can see it moving in and out of frame on its path around the tree. 

I look up at the little tree, barely waving my hand to conjure the little witch. She flies across the room, slowly circling the branches and ornaments. 

Thomus emerges from the office when my eyes are dry and ready to slam shut. He places a plain box next to the tree and then kneels by my side, kissing my cheek. 

When his eyes take in the pages of the photo album, he just stares. His expression betrays how unprepared he was to see pictures of Sam. He doesn’t say anything as I flip through to the next page. 

It’s a single picture, the last one she ever put in. It’s of fireworks shooting up from below the frame, trailing to the center where they explode, scattering red and blue sparkles across the night sky. It was New Year’s Eve, the year she died. 

The empty expanse of the remaining pages is what finally sends tears blurring my vision. With Thomus right next to me, I try to smother my emotions, but it translates to choked sobs and a runny nose. 

Quietly, he takes the photo album from my lap, closes it and sets it aside. He’s running a hand over my shoulders, trying to comfort me.

“Come on, my darling,” he murmurs. “Let’s get some sleep.”

I nod and let him lead me upstairs to bed, where I crawl in and he wraps me in his arms. 

[tunawithsoysauce]

Stuff you might wanna know :3

about ~me~

Name: Finn/Todd Henriksson

Age: 13 (2011)

Swedish, third generation Finnish

Weird

Transboy

Bisexual

👆 the main stuff. Scroll for a bit more detailed bullshit.

▪︎I LOVE MUSIC!!! I go to a music highschool, my parents are musicians and I love singing and playing french horn. Fun thing, right!?

▪︎I'M TRANS (wow!) I'm transmasc, and have been as long as I can remember (I came out at eight, I believe?) And my pronouns are he/him! I'm a boy. Only boy.

▪︎I USUALLY DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING (wha) I don't know what im doing. Most of the time. Id like to believe im kind and try to be good, but you know. It is what it is.

▪︎HAIR DYE AND ROCKS! (lmao what) i love dying my hair. And rocks. Not cool rocks. Just... rocks.

▪︎ART!!!! (YIPPIE !) I love drawing and writing and stuff like that. Very fun. Its like the only thing I do haha

▪︎NERD!!! (OFc) I love fixating on stuff. Which leads me to our next segment...

▪︎Interests (online)

The main ones AREEEE: *drumroll*

1. Doctor who! (My sister used to love it. She showed me it all and now im as big a nerd as she is.)

2. Sherlock holmes! (Or Sherlock & co. Both. Mostly just the novels. The BBC show if you make me.)

3. Good omens! Or Neil gaiman in general! (He's very cool)

Eeeeh otherwise im very obsessed with loads of stuffs. Just. Ask me if ive seen something, ill probably have.

Family!

▪︎Mum & dad! (My mum's mean sometimes. Not all the time. She can be good. She’s just... she has a diffrent way of loving.) (Dad! He's amazing. I love him.)

▪︎ main siblings! (I have two fully bio siblings. Otto, and Ruben. Otto is 6 and Ruben is 14. Otto is silly, my big brother is amazing. He's my true rolemodel :))

▪︎ half siblings (I DONT ACTUALLY CALL THEM HALF SIBLINGS)

A) -Anna!! She's the one im closest to. She’s the youngest (26) and has a cat and a fiancee (Jim.) Jim's cool. Very silly. He's also sort of a role model, for me. He's been in my life for all of it, I think? My sister had a boyfriend before that. He was very quiet. Anna is very nice and I love having sleepovers with her. She was also the one who introduced me to Doctor who!! We always have so much fun. She really likes the beatles. Don't know why I put that there. She just really likes them. Felt important.

B) Malin!! My middle big sister. She’s awesome, and She’s got a whole family. A husband (He's amazing and so so so smart i literally think he's so cool) which i think is very rad, and my neice !!! He's called Einar. He's 3. He calls me "uncle Todd" (AJSKSJJDKD)

C) My biggest brother Mattias. He's quiet, but also very awesome. His girlfriend is very nice too. She has green hairdye in her hair. :3)

▪︎FRIENDS!!!

I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!

This includes:

1. Leija! We met in the beginning of fourth grade. She’s weird like me. And awesome. I love her.

2. Elsa!!! She's been my best friend all my life. Our mums know eachother. She’s kind and beautiful and always makes me happy.

3. Elvira!!! My mandatory lesbian friend. That's a joke. She’s cool. And very nice. She never speaks ill of anyone. She’s truly the kindest human ever.

4. Sofie!!! A non-binary chaos machine. I love them. They're always a joy to be around.

5. Max!!! My absolute best friend. He's amazing even though we barely met even a year ago. I visit him frequently.

5. Jack!!! (Love interest? Kind of dating?)

Side characters (wtf)

▪︎My therapist!! She's called Emma. Uh.

▪︎My father figure!!! Otto. Not to be confused with my little brother.

▪︎ My Swedish teacher!! I just think she's awesome. She’s also called Anna. Not to be confused with my sister.

▪︎ All my finnish friends! Jesus christ if I named all of the finnish blokes ive befriended id die typing.

▪︎ this random dude I met on reddit i haven't talked to for two months :D

▪︎Sofia!! A lady at my school. She’s awesome. She’s practically my step mum. She’s held me while I cried in the nurses office more than I can think.

▪︎ uhm

Hobbies!!

Mondays: french horn B)

Tuesdays: dancing!! (With Elvira:))

Wednesdays: orchestra!! (French horn)

Thursdays: TSS!! (A place you can hang out at)

Fridays: bugging my music teacher and playing drums with my bassist friend until I get kicked out!

School

As previously mentioned i go to a music school. We have music everyday. Its awesome.

I love swedish, music, art, english, french, and history.

I hate P.E, math, science and homeroom.

Bye :33

[thegeminisage]

oh boy it is MAJOR star trek update time. i've fallen behind (thanks, hades). tuesday we watched "tribunal" and "the jem'hadar," wednesday we watched "the search" part i, and last night we watched "the search" part ii and "house of quark." whew!

tribunal:

O'BRIEN DOES SUFFER MORE THAN JESUS. THE MEMES WERE RIGHT

them shooing him out of the door at the beginning was so cute. he is like a worried mother leaving the station alone. mister workaholic

TECHNICAL MANUALS ON VACATION. scotty would be proud

i love o'brien and keiko so much. i like that their marriage is imperfect but also they're still wildly in love even after being married for a few years and having a baby. i mean, they were literally just rando side-characters on tng and ds9 has elevated to a whole new level. like, o'brien saying multiple times he didn't want her there to see him the way he was, especially if there was gonna be an execution, and her like oh hell No, there are star trek ships that have had less compelling courtroom drama. THEY MADE COURTROOM DRAMA ACTUALLY INTERESTING. even the spirk courtroom drama was a little dry comparatively, all respect due ofc.

keiko was amazing in this. odo was like you are gonna show up and NOT give them the show they want and she was like oh absolutely and followed through. her and odo getting ready to raise hell together was not what i expected but i loved it

it's like such a nightmare scenario for her too. she's never sure when her husband is gonna get hurt when he's away and never sure when she's gonna get that bad news and she still just sticks it out. more on keiko in a few episodes but i love her

unexpected bonding between odo and o'brien!! i loved that tbh. odo is so harsh and suspicious sometimes it shocks me (i'm kind of used to thinking of him as just a little birthday boy), but i love that despite that o'brien's speech genuinely moved him, and he did everything he could to help

i really love when we get into o'brien's cardassian issues. firstly, having seen people he knew be taken and brought back all kinda fucked up, including picard, he must've known exactly what he was in for. he got off lightly compared to picard, but it was still really shocking and upsetting to see him stripped and "processed" also his poor molar. secondly, WHO can blame him for being racist after this...this episode was almost enough to make ME racist. like, the cardassian ideas of trials and justice are so horrific. he was so lucky to have people working on figuring his shit out for him, because that system is DESIGNED to make you give in to despair and become totally resigned, which he almost did do for a second there. that was SCARY.

also, i guessed the plot twist about the guy secretly being a cardassian before they revealed it, which made me feel like a smarty

the jem'hadar:

was prepared to hate this one because it was a "quark being annoying" episode and i am TRYINNGGGG so hard with quark but it's a struggle. i want to connect to him emotionally just a little bit like JUST a little bit. he really is so funny and entertaining sometimes, i'm ALMOST there, but it would be easier if they didn't make him annoying on purpose

that said, sisko episodes for MEEEEEE. we never get enough sisko content. him encouraging jake re: his science project and then also trying to BE A DAD TO NOG even though he didn't want nog along...mwah. and then he also got to have his own action hero moment!! AND he wouldn't that lady leave quark behind even though he didn't want quark there to begin with. HE'S SO GREAT my best friend sisko

i'd like to point out that jake's first request was NOT to visit the gamma quadrant but to pilot the shuttle, which he did eventually get to do lol and good for him

jake and nog were great in this. i really love watching their little shenanigans

plot twist about this lady being a spy was EXCELLENT, i never saw it coming. quark delivering the news (and picking the fake lock!) is an extra nice touch. i like quark better than i like dax, i think (i have yet to connect emotionally with either of them, but generally he's a more fun presence onscreen), and tbf the "are you racist against ferengis" thing was a pretty good running bit

the search part i:

okay, we had to watch this one without subs, so i probably missed a fair bit of it, but i did NOT care for this one as much

firstly, introduction of the defiant, which is definitely just the tng set with the lights turned off lol. come on, get your tng out of here!!

i did like the romulan being there. it really is the wild west out there on ds9 they can just talk to whoever

i loved the bit about jake and sisko finally unpacking 😭

unfortunately neither was not his best self in this episode, which is the main reason i didn't like it.

meanwhile, odo is being a dick to kira who is trying to comfort him and being a dick to ME by extension because i want to enjoy my odo/kira shared screentime, and then we play him needing to go into his bucket in front of quark for laughs when it was Such a big deal in the lwaxana episode, and finally he just KIDNAPS kira and takes instead of staying and fighting? i guess it's not like there was anything he could have done, but it still didn't feel great compounded with "oh i have compulsion to go to this nebula that i'm gonna yell at kira about" who yells!!! like it felt like he was putting the compulsion ahead of what he would normally do. and also, kira spent the entire episode trying to comfort him and he kept rejecting that comfort...come on dude are you crushing on her or not

also, sisko privately being like yeah i tried to keep odo from getting fired but they kinda had a point though...ouch. that's not My Sisko, Who Always Backs Up His People

drove me nuts because odo FINALLY FOUND HIS PEOPLE. i wanted to be excited but i was just tired of him being a dick to kira :(

that said. dax's hair looks MUCH better in the updo. still way too big. but much more bearable.

the search part ii:

luckily. LUCKILY. this episode blew my tits clean off

odo asking All His Questions and kira gently reminding him it's not a police interrogation and him NOT. being a dick to her.

goop hand sex??? did he fuck this shapeshifter lady right in front of kira's salad??? he makes hands to touch people with but also, to goop with.

hey, wtf was up with the implication that odo is SUPER old and possibly fucking immortal? like, they said he'd been gone a long time and they weren't expecting him for another 300 years...do you think he knows how old he is? i don't think he does. he doesn't even know his own birthday. he may not have known the average lifespan/rate of aging for his own species. and now he's getting told he's got at least 300 years left. jesus christ

when dax and obrien showed up i was like no way are they on the fucking holodeck or something that was WAY too easy and then i kept getting convinced it was real but something else would happen and i'd go back to being paranoid AND I WAS RIGHT!!!!! god i love correctly predicting plot twist. i also love being surprised by them so you can never go wrong with a good plot twist for me

"solids" and "monoforms" is really good shapeshifter lingo. i love that. also "changeling" being a reclaimed slur is SO funny

admiral whoever the fuck from tng showing up to be like yeah we are doing another treaty the romulans will have no complaints 😇 girl, like the native american episode? like they didn't have complaints?? i hate this bitch so bad

ACTION HERO GARAK IN THIS EPISODE. however briefly. him knocking that guy out was spockcore. like when spock pretends there's a spider on your shoulder to know you out. same thing with garak said loose thread. i can't believe we got him again so soon...he only had a bit part to play here but hey, did he fucking die?? did fake garak die inside julian's brain??? while in his arms? did julian just have to hallucinate holding garak tenderly as he died for their cause?? are they okay???

oh yeah also whatever the fucj he had going on with sisko was EXTREMELY flirty. wow.

anyway garak dying plus transfer orders made it a sure thing that it wasn't real, but i was so pleased also to have guessed there was holodeck shit behind the shapeshifter door about .2 seconds before we saw it happen. i can't believe odo said "the door was made to keep something in" and still opened it. he is insane(ly in love with kira and would do anything for her including opening cursed doors).

the ending of this episode is what really got me. the shapeshifters BEING the founders. kira having to be the one who goes "you're with the dominion" and odo having to be the one who goes "you're THE FOUNDERS." they figured that awful truth out TOGETHERRRR

furthermore. when odo was like "but why kill so many people, these solids just want to expand their knowledge via exploration" and this lady was like "the solids are nothing like us." HIS. FACE. we got to watch him in realtime evaluate his entire life in about .5 seconds

like, imagine this. he has looked for home his entire life. he has been an outcast his ENTIRE LIFE. and just when he finds it and experiences the brief euphoria of feeling at home in his own skin, so to speak, he finds out they go against everything he stands for and in that split second he realizes that 1. he has more in common with the humanoids he has felt like an outsider to this entire time than he ever will with these other shapeshifters 2. he is no longer an outsider to these particular people because they are his friends 3. he is going to count himself among the humanoids instead of his OWN PEOPLE because this bitch is crazy. ALL OF THAT IN AN INSTANT.

I ALREADY HAVE A LINK: THESE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! KILL MEEEEEEEEE

also the founder lady being like yeah you think you like justice but you actually want order, like us, you're like us was SO EVILLL like he literally does take his justice too far sometimes. he has the potential to be evil AND HE CHOOSES. NOT TO. AUGHGHGHGH

AND THEN THE VERY LAST SCENE...oh my GOD

like. he's seen kira at so many low points and now she is seeing him go through this

AND

SHE

HELD

HIS

HAND

HE MAKES HANDS FOR KIRA SPECIFICALLY TO HOLD!!!!!!!!!

the way he leaned in his he was tempted to kiss her. do you think that's the first time he felt that urge. did he even recognize it. he may have had shapeshifter goo sex with that lady but they didn't KISS. he's never been kissed and he wants a little kissy AUGHGHGH

also, the way she leaned in like she was tempted to kiss HIM. do you think she acknowledged that to herself later or firmly repressed it because she's technically still banging bareil. girl, forget him. odo could be your man

also, hi, kira touching HIS COMM BADGE TO ACTIVATE IT. AND NOT HER OWN. im going to be ILL i had to pause between episodes because i was in hysterics

kira/odo is. so important adn good. i was terrified after the search part i that it would be bad. but, it is so good that i am dying

house of quark:

i think beating hades and watching odo and kira hold hands in the same day made me invincible bc normally i hate quark episodes but i didn't even mind this one. i thought it was the best quark episode we'd gotten yet

i do like the like. every once in awhile you see quark have an emotional response to something and then firmly repress it. like he accidentally killed the klingon and looked down at the blood on his hands and he was SHOOK but then the very next scene he's like alright we're rolling that HEY EVERYBODY I KILLED A KLINGON! which is like, funny, His Antics, but he did the same thing is that little game episode (i know lol) when he found out he was playing with peoples' lives - he doesn't really wanna be responsible for all of that. it's not what i want from him exactly but at least it's consistent and proof he DOES have emotions under there

at the end of this episode when they were like...quark, now people respect you. it's true. i do respect him a little more after all of that. not only was he uniquely suited to sussing out this klingon's crimes he also outsmarted their system of justice and had to be a little brave to do it. "i got lucky" gambling man indeed. his moment with rom at the end was also kind of sweet, but it makes me wish rom was more than comic relief more often.

i also really liked this klingon woman?? normally klingon politics are pretty dry to me, but even though the sexism was annoying her plight and subsequent solving of it was engaging. it's too bad "quark's ex-wife" isn't a subject that's going to get him roasted in future episodes

B-PLOT. keiko and o'brien!!! man. women? feminism?

so i feel like keiko left because the actress was pregnant...idk anything about it and i'm not gonna look it up bc spoilers, but ik she isn't leaving the show permanently so this seemed like a way to explain a temporary absence. and they could have done that a million ways but they CHOSE to make it about her happiness

like, you could have said "oh keiko's doing fine she's just not here rn" for half a season. you could have done "yeah keiko found out her true passion IS teaching and forget botany." they could have even said "the arboretum will fix her!" like, i would have bought it! she's got plants now! but instead they explored her unhappiness and what she wants out of life and how her needs aren't being met by being a SAHM/teacher. she loves botany. she's passionate about plants, and making her profession her hobby WOULD be unsatisfying. RESPECT KEIKO JUICE?? idk it was so nice. she still deserves that arboretum though

also, she's sooo pretty with bangs. suddenly keiko the most attractive woman in the world idk

anyway, i'm so close to coming around on quark. i should watch more quark episodes right after being extremely difficult video games. manifesting this happens for me in the future

NEXT TIME: "equilibrium" and "second skin."

[inukag]

Speaking of filler episodes/arcs making Inuyasha (mostly him) ooc, there's one arc that makes Kagome (not only wildly OOC, but also makes her kind of dense/dumb): the kenkon halberd arc with Akitoki Hojo. - I hope you don't mind I lay off this rant (been bottling that up for MONTHS now). I just HATE the disservice to Kagome's character

(I'm not listing them in order, btw)

First sign where she's made sort of dumb (which she is in reality NOT throughout the series): Hojo shows up with that scroll to show his ancestor KAgome Hojo (🙄🙄 dude, we see what you're trying, you are DENSE), and she has that INCREDIBLY OOC moment where she wonders, and almost with certainty --after they run into A. Hojo-- that she will stay in the past and marry him... Like WTAF? That's just SO OOC because at point in the story, she admitted to naraku's evil baby that she's in love with Inuyasha; it also portrays her as stupid as if she doesn't even consider that there may be other girls/women name Kagome.

Then there's guilt tripping Inu to help akitoki, telling him "don't you feel guilty?" which he rightly replies with "why? Naraku destroyed Mount Hakurei (?)".

When Inuyasha is saying that humans shouldn't mess with yokai weapons, that is not their business, her thoughts keep going into tangents (several times during the three episodes), and reading "humans should not mess with yokai weapons" somehow equals "yokai/hanyo shouldn't get involved romantically")

When she and dense ancestors are separated from the rest of the gang, she remains quiet when Akitoki makes a veiled racist remark regarding inuyasha when she mentions she doesn't have a boyfriend (WHICH ISN'T TRUE, SHE'S WITH INU AT THAT POINT) and he goes all "I understand you travel with half demon and a monk who aren't appropriate husband material" and on top of that he goes "i'm sure under this sky is a young man destined for you" (jesus, this guy is like koga, if not worse (stealing a kiss, hello?) and she again pretty much accepts those words.

In than same scene, she quickly dismisses the thought of Inuyasha potentially becoming her hubby with a shake off her head that would have been IC for the first 5 episodes of the series, NOT this far into the story.

Then when the dude falls asleep SHE PUTS HIS HEAD ON HER LAP - that shit is ooc af and a slap to the face to the first new moon with Inu.

I'm sure I'm forgetting some more OOC Kagome moments.

And ofc, Inuyasha is bit OOC in this arc because this akitoki asshole keep acting like he's Kagome's intended husband, keeps shouting his love for her (despite knowing her for one hot minute), and Inuyasha says NOTHING (I'm sure he would have ripped his arms if he knew this fucker tried to kiss her while she slept).

Sorry that was long. ❤

(Sorry for answering this a month later than I said I would, last time I watched these episodes was YEARS ago so I wanted to rewatch them before I answered this ask!) 

First of all, I have to disagree a bit about this idea that these episodes made Kagome look completely dumb. At least in terms of action/battle, they made her use her arrows numerous times (people always complain about her not doing anything) and she was smart enough to 1- Test the sword on her friends’ lookalikes to see if they are yokai 2- Question them when they used her and Akitoki’s names 3- Rightly guessing that the girls are actually puppets and that’s why they weren’t affected by the blade

That was quick thinking of her and showed that she’s resourceful too, which is great! This is a lot like early-manga Kagome, like when she burned the toad demon or when she attached a yokai leg to her arrow. 

Now her assuming that a “Kagome Hojo” existing in the past must mean that she stayed behind and married Akitoki was pretty... weird. Unless Kagome is a rare name in Japan? I don’t know about that. 

But YES what bothered me the most in those episodes is how Kagome barely acknowledges her relationship with Inuyasha?? Like you said she completely shakes off the idea that Inuyasha is her boyfriend and that he could potentially end up with him??? 

GIRL WHAT you literally screamed that you love Inuyasha and cuddled him like 10 episodes ago??? 😭 Although this was in response to Akitoki telling her that the person who will eat her cooking everyday is very lucky, so maybe this was Kagome saying “well Inuyasha wouldn’t enjoy my cooking” because this episode has another instance of Inuyasha saying he enjoys instant ramen more than home-made cooking....

Sunrise PLEASE shut up..... Inuyasha isn’t Naruto! Loving ramen is not one of his core personality traits! There’s nothing in the manga that indicates it’s the only food he enjoys...

Anyway, Kagome not mentioning her relationship with Inuyasha is still wildly OOC when you consider how she reacted to Koga flirting with her and mocking Inuyasha... 

The whole theme of this arc was the differences between yokai and human and whether or not they are compatible... so I think what Sunrise tried to do is to set back Inuyasha and Kagome’s relationship so they can then re-confirm their chemistry at the end to prove that yokai/human relationships are indeed possible... 

It’s just very weird to do this that far in the series (this arc spans episodes 137-140). The plot with Hoshiyomi and Tsukiyomi was also just a repeat of Inuyasha and Kikyo, with the whole “they thought they betrayed each other but they actually didn’t” so it wasn’t particularly original. 

It really was such a weird tangent, Inuyasha saying “humans shouldn’t mess with yokai weapons” and Kagome ending up with “maybe my relationship with Inuyasha won’t work after all”... It would have been an interesting idea to explore if Kagome actually brought up significant differences between them that could lead to problems (like the anime-only idea that Inuyasha is 200 years old, or their children having yokai features, human villagers not accepting them, etc.) but none of that was addressed so it felt very shallow. 

I think it’s kind of funny that Akitoki declaring his feelings for Kagome was just ignored by pretty much everyone except Shippo essentially calling him cringy and Kagome questioning her future for a few minutes. I kinda hated that Kagome put his head on her lap when he was sleeping but it’s almost like she wanted to see if she would get butterflies in her stomach like the first time she did that with Inuyasha, but she clearly didn’t feel anything so she realized it wasn’t going to happen 😭

All in all I don’t think these fillers are bad. There’s some annoying set backs and OOCness but it ends with some wholesome Inukag moments too. It’s not like some of the filler episodes that makes Inukag look toxic (except maybe that line at the end of episode 140 where Inuyasha says Kagome is not kind...) or skews the love triangle. Also these episodes highlight a major problem I have with the anime, and that is the animation quality and style changing every episode. Episode 138 & 140 have amazing animation directors (Shouko Ikeda and Kumiko Takahashi) but the other 2 are mediocre imo and it’s very jarring. At least in the manga Rumiko Takahashi’s art is consistent. 

ALSO if you think Akitoki deserves to get beat up by Inuyasha for trying to kiss Kagome without her consent you should read A Rude Awakening by @born-for-eachother! Kat went HARD on Akitoki in her fanfic, Inuyasha was ready for murder LMAO. 

[andydrysdalerogers]

Following Team Orders ~ Sao Paolo ~ Part Two

Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Olivia Williams

Summary: Olivia Williams is Formula One royalty. Her father is a racing legend and all Liv wants is to be one of only six women in the world to have raced in the most elite racing division in the world. When she finally gets the chance, she has to not only take on a male dominated sport, but her past, her teammate and a life beyond the track that she was not ready for. She just has to follow team orders but what happens when one man challenges her on and off the racing line...

Word Count: 2.3K

Warnings: A-N-G-S-T!!! eventual smut, slow burn, enemies to lovers, love triangle (if you squint) misogamy, fluff, racing accidents, an asshole Steve Rogers (you'll see what i mean); parental death

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series MasterList - Main Masterlist

Wonderful news is coming out of FIA headquarters.  Olivia Williams has been reinstated to drive this weekend in Sao Paolo. The inquiry into whether she violated FIA rules found no cause for disqualification.  Outstanding news.  

With that, Red Bull announced that Steve Rogers will also be racing in Sao Paolo.  Rogers needs a win to clinch his first championship in F1. Anything else will lead to a run-off in Abu Dubai against current champion, Ransom Drysdale.  

To Hugh Ransom Drysdale, there is nothing that he can’t get.   

Well, except one thing.  

Olivia Williams.  

The one woman Ransom would keep, if he could have, five years ago.  He was a rookie but a rookie that won a championship.  And he let that get to his head.  He fucked up harder than ever when he hooked up with that moto-ho on their anniversary.  

All Ransom wanted was to get his girl back. She was perfect, even as a brunette and she would make the perfect racer’s wife. She understood the industry and while, yeah, it was hot to see her race, she would need to take her place in his garage just cheering for him.  It wouldn’t take long to convincer.  

As he made his way to the Mercedes garage, he heard sounds of what he thought was a cat crying.  He turned the corner to see his sister sobbing in the corner.  He really didn’t care about Suzanne, being half siblings due to his cheating father but he didn’t want to see her cry. “Suzy?” 

“Ranny?” Suzanne stood up and wiped the tears off her face.  “What are doing here?” 

“I work here,” he replied, rolling his eyes but taking in her appearance.  “Why the fuck are you crying?” 

Suzanne looked away. “No reason. This whole time has been a waste.”  

“Yeah, no shit. You were supposed to be helping me get Liv back not drive Steve away.  God, you are such an idiot sometimes.” This just made Suzanne cry more, sending Ransom’s mind into hell. Fuck, why do girls cry so much.  Liv never cried.  At least, not in front of him.  “What?” 

“Just can’t believe he didn’t fall for me.”  She waived a hand over her body.  “Look at me, I’m hot as fuck and yet he barely touched me.  Lloyd liked it.”  

“Lloyd only likes sluts to use.  Jesus Suzy, you let your boss fuck you?”  

“Oh, fuck off Ransom.” A beep got Suzanne’s attention. She scrolled through the message.  “Holy Shit!” 

“What now?” 

“Liv has been reinstated.  But the rumor is, she had to break it off with Steve during the season since they are teammates.”  

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ransom pulled out his phone and reviewed his emails.  There it was, clear as day that his complaint was rejected. “Fucking shit! Why can’t I just win this?” he growled.  He took a breath.  “Ok, well at least she broke up with Rogers.  That’s something.”  

“What are we going to do?” Suzy chewed her lip.  

“I don’t know yet but I’m thinking.  I need to get ready for practice.”  

“After a good practice, Ransom found himself with time to think and walked to his boss’ office. “Lloyd, you have a minute?” 

“What is it, cupcake? Coming to whine about your charges not sticking?” 

Ransom rolled his eyes. “Nothing I can do about it now.  But need to stop Rogers from winning that race. A back-to-back-to-back championship will bring in the money.”  

“Keep talking,” as Lloyd leaned back in his chair.  

“We need to find a way, something.” Ransom was grasping at straws. “What do you think?” 

“I think we need to take a walk around and inspect the garage.  Make sure everything is secure.” Lloyd stood up and beckoned Ransom to follow him. They walked around, observing all the security around the garage. “See, Red Bull doesn’t like to have physical security.” They glanced around. “No personnel, no cameras, no sensors.”  

“We come back after qualifying.  We can poke around and see what we can find.”  

“Good job on deducing that, little buddy.” Lloyd patted Ransom’s head.  

Qualifying is spectacular for Red Bull.  Ransom watched as Liv got her second pole, with Rogers starting right behind in 2nd.  He had managed to get third, which still irked him but what could he do but outrace Red Bull the next day.  As the circuit cleared out for the evening, Ransom kept to the shadows, watching as Olivia walked out with Frank.  Seems the rumors were true; she and Rogers had ended their relationship.  

“Stop being a love sick puppy, Drysdale,” Lloyd hissed in his ear.  

“Can’t help it.  I want her back.”  

“First, we have to get rid of the problem and then we can work on that.” Lloyd looked at the keypad to the Red Bull garage door.  He keyed in the code.  

“Where the fuck did you get that?” 

“Barber had his phone open during the principle’s meeting. Dumb shit. He got called outside and it was just a quick check on his notes.” The door beeped and they made it inside.  Luck would have it that Rogers’s car was not put into locked storage for the night.  It sat in the garage, uncovered. 

“Well, the car is here,” Ransom said, looking it over. “Any idea on what to do to it?” 

“We need it to fire and run like normal in the beginning.”  Lloyd looked around and found a screwdriver.  He uncovered a panel and pulled a hose. “So, what I’m thinking is to poke a hole in the fuel line and cover it with cheap tape. It’ll fire but as the race goes on, the tape will melt and fuel will leak.  If we are lucky, the entire engine blows.”  

“Could that kill him?” 

Lloyd shrugs and smiles.  “Do you care?” 

“Not really.” Ransom gave him a devious smile. “I was practicing my fake concern.  We should make sure we wipe down the car for prints.”  

“Finally, you’re thinking with your brain instead of your dick.  Good job, little buddy.”  

“Anyone ever tell you, you’re an asshole?” 

“All the time.”  

“What I don’t understand is why Steve is avoiding me. And why Andy took my phone.  Frank, please, tell me what’s going on?” A tear slipped from her eye as she stared at her best friend. Frank was driving Olivia to a villa that Red Bull had set her up in. “What do you know? Is Steve… Is he leaving me?” 

“No!” Frank knew this would be rough on her but didn’t realize how rough. “Liv, I promise, its gonna be ok.” 

“Is that why you put me in a private house away from the hotels? So that I could lose my shit all by myself as soon as receive the message that he dumped me?”  

“For the love of god Livie, shut up!” Frank rarely snapped at her so this immediately caused her to close her mouth. “The team put you out here as a precaution.  The rumors going around could cause issues.”  

“Rumors?” Olivia hadn’t heard anything.  Could be because the team ignored her for the most part.  It was something that had hurt her chest.  She knew that she would bear the brunt of the pain for Steve almost missing the race, but she didn’t think it was this bad.  Now there were rumors.  

“Yeah Liv, rumors.  Now, go to the deck and grab a beer.  I’ll be right back.”  He pointed to the glass door that had fairy lights peeking through.  

She sighed and just did what she was told. She thought about the flight to Brazil.  She and Steve were on different flights, and she arrived a full day behind him.  And since she arrived, she hadn’t seen him. She missed him, her cuddle bug...no...pookie...no.  She was still working on the nickname for him.  She pulled the door open and headed to the bar on one side.  “Doll?” 

She twirled around to see Steve getting up from a lounger. “Stevie?” She didn’t wait; she launched herself at him and buried her head in his shoulder.  

Steve could feel the sobs racking her chest. “Its ok baby, I’m here.” It had been almost 72 hours since they were separated but it may as well be a lifetime.  

“Stevie, I thought... you left... and...” her cries took over as Steve tried to calm her.  

“I don’t know what is going on, doll, but I’ve missed you so much.”  He kissed her temple, her hair, breathing her back in.  

She pulled back to really see him and then crashed her lips to his, desperate to feel him, to taste him again.  A subtle cough drew out their attention and she saw Andy standing in the doorway.  “Andy?” 

“Yeah, we have some explaining to do.”  He gestured for them to come inside.  Holding hands, Steve guided them into the living room where Frank, Bucky, Sam, Tony and Natasha all waited for them.  

“Uh, guys, what is going on?” Steve looked at his friends and then back at Andy.  

“Let’s sit,” Bucky said.  Steve sat in the armchair but tugged Liv to sit in his lap, not ready to be even a little separated from her just yet.  Bucky smiled. “Yeah, I figured it was going to be like that.  Umm, there is a very valid reason as to why we separated you from each other.”  

Sam cleared his throat. “There are rumors going around that the FIA only reinstated the both of you if you had broken up with each other.”  

“What?” Steve looked at the team. “Are you serious?  I would...” 

“We know Steve,” Tony shutting him down. “That’s not what we are trying to get to.  We played into it. Because we needed to set up the people responsible for this shit storm you have been living.”  

“Set up who?” Liv looked at Natasha and andy.  And it clicked, “Ransom?” 

“Yeah, Storm and I overheard Lloyd and Suzanne.” Frank grimaced. “That was gross but the important thing is we heard what they are trying to do and we told Andy and Fury.”  

“Fury? Nick Fury from Ferrari?” Liv looked around.  “What did you guys do?” 

You could cut the tension with a knife.  Ransom casually walked by the Red Bull garage to see Liv and Steve with their backs turned to each other.  Guess the rumor was true and all he had to do was comfort her when Steve is “injured.”  

Or dead.  

Didn’t really matter to him. As long as he got his girl back.  He had a daisy in his hand and as he walked by Liv’s area of her garage, he placed it in front of her without a word.  She took the flower and looked at him.  He smiled and walked away, shooting a wink at Rogers.  She should eat that shit up, he thought to himself.  He got to his car and got ready for the race start.  

The race is intense as Steve knows he needs to win, or they will have a run off in the finale.  His start is perfect, and he tries to put his mind off of the bullshit that had been happening all weekend.  After this all he wanted was a night with his girl, but it seemed even that was impossible.  

Halfway through, Steve and Ransom entered the pits for new tires.  Its close, with Olivia taking the lead as she had stopped a couple of laps earlier.  Steve makes it out first and in fourth with plenty of time to catch up and other drivers who have yet to stop.  As he heads for turn three, he sees Drysdale on his right back, looking for a way in.  Steve protects his spots and defends by cutting the line slightly.  

Sam radios with an update.  “Steve, it’s still Williams, Storm, Leclear, Rogers, Drysdale with 16 left.”  

“Copy.”  

He looks back in the mirror but doesn’t see Drysdale.  He checks the other side, and that quick look costs him.  Their tires touch, sending both cars spinning. “Fuck!” Steve tries to correct the slide and spins the other way but manages to keep the car running and off the wall.  He’s backwards but has plenty of room for the cars that were behind him to swerve around him.  He waits for traffic to clear to spin the car back around and get moving.  

“Steve, are you alright?” 

“Yeah, just need new tires, picked up debris.  Fuck!” 

“Drysdale is in the same boat. Box, box.”  

“Copy.”  

After new tires and 15 laps, Steve finished 11th with Ransom in 12th and no points scored. However, it is a cause for celebration in the Red Bull garage.  

“Yes!”  Liv waves her hand about as she finished with her 2nd win.  When she makes it to the winner’s circle, she celebrates with the team and heads up for the podium.  

Lloyd is fuming.  Rogers’s car was supposed to be blowing up not finishing and making the championship that much harder. He was yelling at Ransom.  “You stupid shit! Couldn’t try to not use the tag move again, couldn’t you?” 

“Lloyd, the car was supposed to be out of the race already.  You fucked this up.  If i hadn’t tagged him, we would be watching a championship celebration.  Now, we have one more shot.”  

“Fuck this!” Lloyd threw a screwdriver. “We had the perfect season until that harlot showed up!” 

“Don’t talk about her that way!” 

“What? Don’t like me calling your boo bear a name?” he mocked. 

“Eat shit!  This is on you, not me!” 

“How is it on me?  I did what I had to do.  I have no fucking clue as to why it didn’t work.”  

“Maybe I can be of some help with that.”  Lloyd and Ransom turned around. Andy Barber, Nick Fury and a couple of FIA officials standing in the doorway.  

“Shit.”  

Taglist:

@patzammit @jennmurawski13-writes @texmexdarling @slutforchrisjamalevans @firephotogrl74. @tinkerbelle67

[greenerteacups]

i just want to say that lionheart is simply magnificent. it is the story i look forward to every week. i think to myself on thursdays "wow, just gotta get through today at work for the lionheart update tomorrow." each character has a distinct personality with their own flaws. draco and hermione are hilarious. GINNY and ron shine so much, and I love reading about their banter! who's your favorite character to write in lionheart? who's the most difficult character to write?

Thank you so very much! I'm so glad that you like Ginny and Ron. Ginny in particular gets a lot more scenes next year as she comes into her own.

My favorite character to write has to be Draco. I think you have to have a sort of pathological fascination with a character in order to write so much fiction from their POV — I've spent so much time in his head at this point that his voice comes naturally. In particular, I love the challenge of writing around the things he won't admit to himself. On the one hand, Draco as a character deals with certain unpleasant feelings and ideas by simply refusing to entertain them, so it's true to his character that he'll just miss certain story elements; but also, Lionheart is written in a very tight third, so if I want the reader to know something, then either (1) Draco has to know it, or (2) Draco has to make observations that allow the reader to know it, but without making Draco look stupid for not seeing it. (Romantic feelings are in this category, ofc, but since teenagers are notoriously stupid about this kind of thing, that's a little less stressful than, say, trying to foreshadow Plot Stuff without giving away the whole bag.) The resulting balance still makes him occasionally look kind of oblivious, but everyone has blind spots, and I think Draco has fewer than most.

The hardest character to write is... hm. It's probably Narcissa; while I like writing her, she's really complicated, and also sort of two-faced, so if she's not managed properly, it'll end up making her seem erratic or inconsistent. She's not; she's just the kind of person who's usually doing two or three things at the same time, and thinking about five or six others, four of which you're not allowed to know about. The result, at least in the earlier books, is this apparently bifurcated personality: on the one hand, you have a doting mother with endless love and patience for her darling boy; on the other, you have these hints of a crueler, darker, much more short-tempered woman, and I think that's probably more true to who she actually is. Motherhood is good for Narcissa — it softens her, brings out the best in her, and she's aware of this — but it also means Draco's POV is uniquely ill-suited to showing her as a three-dimensional person, because he's the one person in the world that she treats unconditionally well. Add all that to the fact that she has episodes of madness, a super complicated and fucked-up family backstory (even more so than in canon — jesus, I have spreadsheets dedicated to keeping the timeline straight on the Blacks), and she keeps a lot of secrets from Draco on purpose. So writing her presents this persistent challenge of portraying a character who is (1) objectively not a good person, but (2) is perceived by the main character as such, because she's his mother and therefore must be, while she (3) still loves and treats the main character well, because she is his mother, and she's a bad person, and those two things can both be true at once. Which, altogether, means her scenes take me by far the longest to write.