#but it also just says a lot about their friendship. like. not together as a pair just together. they do everything together.
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āByler is in Stranger Things to show unrequited loveā Yet, it isnāt.
Stranger Things has shown unrequited āloveā before, with Dustinās crush on Max (who liked Lucas) which i feel like itās a storyline that most people forget. Which itās okay, since itās not that relevant to the story, i just wanted to show how differently Dustin and Maxās story is to Mike and Willās.
š§¢š©š»āš¦° How exactly were Dustin & Max written?
For starters, the show doesnāt tell us why Max and Dustin would be good together as a couple. They go well as friends, yes, but they do not show a meaningful conversation between them that really shows the romantic chemistry and how much they understand eachother, like the Lumax bus scene.
Dustin only thinks Max is āawesomeā because she skateboards, and has the top score in Dig Dug, because he doesnāt know her.
They highlight that Dustin is not in love with Max, hence the Steve scene, where Steve goes āYouāre not falling in love with this girl are you?ā which to Dustin honestly says no, because heās not in love, itās a just crush. Also an important note when writing something unrequited with 15 year olds.
Then, Dustin speaks to Lucas and says āhe could feel the electricityā between him and Max, which is him ultimately accepting that Max does not like him back, and instead likes Lucas.
Is he upset about it? Yes, he is, however, itās not mentioned again in the show after season 2 because heās over it. In just a few months, heās got a new girlfriend, and he doesnāt like Max anymore. He got over it quick, because it was just a crush, and he didnāt know her that well.
In seasons 3&4, Dustin is able to act completely act normal around Max, because he doesnāt like her anymore.
Now, while Lucas also liked Max at first, not as much as Dustin, and as he talks with her more and knows her better (hence, them having more scenes) you see Lumax developing.
šš Where does this put Byler?
Byler is written very differently. First, by season 4, Mike and Will have known eachother and been bestfriends for 10 years. (Since kindergarten), so right off the bat, they KNOW eachother. Dustin didnāt know Max.
Stranger Things has so many scenes of Mike and Will to show us just how special this thing between them is. They have a lot of scenes filled with chemistry, showing how much they understand eachother and how theyād do anything for eachother. (Said by Mike, heād do anything for Will.)
So, they show us why Mike and Will would be a good couple. Something they didnāt with Max and Dustin.
Noah Schnapp then went on to say āYou could never really tell if [Byler] was something romantic or just a really special friendship.ā
Next, they show us just how much Willās in love with Mike. (Also confirmed by Noah Schnapp) So, not a crush like Dustin. Heās in love with Mike. The painting and the van scene proves it. It shows us Willās feelings for Mike, and how actually deep they are.
Will doesnāt say āMikeās cool because he skateboardsā like Dustin says about Max, he says āYouāre the heart, and without you weād (I) all fall apart.ā and āYou make her (me) feel like sheās (iām) not a mistake at all. Like sheās (iām) better for being different.ā Basically, that heās better for loving Mike. Mike makes Will feel like heās not a mistake.
So, itās very obviously NOT a shallow crush, and not something Will can move on from in a few months like Dustin. Willās happy ending is not moving on from Mike, itās getting together with Mike. If he moves on in like, a year with someone else completely whom he shares no understanding with, itās completely bad writing, and i stand on it.
#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#byler endgame#will byers#byler is requited#stranger things 2#byler analysis#max mayfield#dustin henderson#byler is canon
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Your turtle boyfriend reacts to you getting along with April
Disclaimer: all my writings contemplate the turtles aged up at about their late 20s, with the reader at the same age range. Your media consumption is your own responsibility āØ dividers by @/cafekitsune
Ćfem!reader
More Ninja Turtle headcanons in my masterlist!
Leonardo
Leonardo loves you with his whole soul and absolutely considers you part of his family, and April knows this. Not because Leon told her explicitly - he's the silent type, after all - but because she could see the shift in Leonardo's overall stance after he got together with you.
Leon was more strategic, more deliberate, and more prudent after he began dating you. He became an even better leader, as if being with you had helped him be more in tune with his feelings and those of his team.
April also knew that any woman who was with Leonardo had to be a real force of nature and overall just the most amazing woman. April was lowkey intimidated of you at first.
You were also a bit intimidated by her - you knew she'd named and saved these boys when they were actual turtles and that she'd aided them in their hardest missions. Overall, you and April were evenly matched, and when you met, you were mutually a little quiet around each other.
But the realization that you were both on the same boat was what made you two be more confident around each other. You got to talking and, as the days passed, you and April were hanging out more often, even without Leonardo there.
It warmed Leonardo's heart to see you and April becoming friends rather than acquaintances who knew each other because of him.
Whenever Leonardo was feeling particularly lose in terms of how to be a good boyfriend (it wasn't that he was ever a bad boyfriend to you, but his confidence would struggle at times since he just wanted to give you the best), he would turn to April for guidance in that matter.
Similarly, if there were ever any missions that were more on the dangerous side, he'd ask April to keep an eye on you.
Raphael
Raphael was really nonchalant about you meeting April and how he got along with her, but you knew it was a facade.
From the stories you'd heard of the turtles from their teenage days, you could tell Raph cared deeply about April and felt responsible over keeping her safe too, as he did with his whole family, even if he wouldn't say it. Because of this, you were committed to being as nice and respectful to April.
When the day came, Raphael personally introduced you to April as "my favorite girl and partner"
Hearing Raph call you something so meaningful in front of April O'Neil herself made you all fluffy inside, and you swelled with adoration for Raph and pride in being his partner.
April lived up to the expectations you'd built of her, proving as smart and resourceful as the stories painted her to be, but she was overall just so easy to get along with. You didn't have to feel like you were making an effort to make the friendship work, rather it just flowed between you two and judging by how well you got on, anyone could have sworn you'd known each other longer.
You and April exchanged numbers at the end of the day, and then she went home. You spent that night with Raph quietly in his room, and you noticed he wasn't as talkative and he held you a lot closer than usual, pressed entirely to his body.
You could tell it meant a lot to him that the day had gone well, and being so soft and close with you was Raph's way of thanking you.
Donatello
You didn't really know this before meeting April, but Donnie had chatted April's ear off about you from day one. He'd told her about you before he even told his brothers.
When you met April, she gave you a warm hug and referred to you as "the girl Donnie's talked so much about," and while the conversation evolved, it became clear to you that April had aided Donnie in the way he'd asked you out and even with your first date.
You didn't say it out loud, but you were grateful to April for that.
Now that you knew each other, you and April at times had one mind. Whatever witty remark you said, April followed it with one of her own, and when the boys were acting like... well, them, you and April exchanged looks and gave playful eye rolls.
Donnie showed a deep care for you both. He would always acknowledge you as his girlfriend and have an arm around you, or if you and April were with Donnie while he was working on a gadget, you'd be the first one he'd turn to for testing or checking it. April quickly picked up on this, and she made a point of teasing you and Donnie with things like "Okay, I'll leave you two turtle doves alone now"
By the way, nicknaming you two turtle-doves is S Tier, and the term quickly sticks to you and Donnie.
You, April, and Donnie are an amazing team. When Donnie loses his fear of letting you get involved in missions (he still makes sure you're never exposed to any danger), the three of you are in charge of making calls that ultimately keep everyone safe and move missions forward.
The three of you also have a chat channel where you're constantly talking and making jokes. The name of this chat is the Turtleous Three.
Donatello is just so happy to see you and April not just getting along, but truly being friends and part of the squad.
Michaelangelo
Mikey wasn't sure if he should tell you that when he first met April (at least, as a mutant) he'd flirted with her. But when it was becoming more obvious you'd be meeting her soon, the pressure ate him up and he wound up blurting it out and he proceeded to hide from you.
Of course, Michaelangelo's way of hiding wasn't entirely stealthy and you found him immediately. You were really calm about what he'd just revealed to you, and whatever the past was, you trusted Mikey and wanted him to know that without a doubt.
He also wanted you to know that he was head over heels for you and only you, and he spent the next few days being extra chivalrous and vocal about how much he adores you.
When the day finally came for you and April to meet, you quickly realized you had nothing to worry about. April was like a big sister to Mikey and she carried that treatment to you too, and besides, you could feel the support of another woman in the middle of those four giant turtles.
They were great and very kind to you, but sometimes you just needed some girl time, and April seemed to offer that.
Soon after meeting her, you and April grew close and you trusted each other with things you didn't even tell the turtles.
You and April quickly developed inside jokes, many of which were at Michaelangelo's expense.
Mikey's not even mad that you pick on him alongside April, he's just happy the two most important girls in his life are getting along.
You can see my masterlist for more if you want!
Reblogs are appreciated! š
#bayverse tmnt#tmnt bayverse#bayverse tmnt x reader#tmnt x reader#tmnt aged up#bayverse raph x reader#bayverse leo x reader#bayverse donnie x reader#bayverse mikey x reader#bayverse raphael#bayverse leonardo#bayverse michelangelo#bayverse donatello#tmnt headcanons
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#maxnat#max kornthas#nat natasitt#i have dumb jokes to make. as is my brand. but i wanted this alone because its genuinely very sweet#i feel like. in general there needs to be more flexibility with couple pairings but#theyre an example of one that really works. theyve had time to grow into one another.#i also feel like the age gap works for them. they even each other out. nat jelped max mature and max took care of him#also the ambiguity of that statement āweve been togetherā like yes you could use it for delulu as is your right#but it also just says a lot about their friendship. like. not together as a pair just together. they do everything together.#now i need to go find that cap of nat explaining the cherry thing āthey always come in pairsā
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This. This. This entire conversation with Morrigan actually makes me want to sob. She and my Tabris always becomes close friends over the course of DAO; that, paired with the fact that my Tabris always romances Alistair, makes everything about this hurt so much more when you take DAO's ending into account.
Her confusion over why my Tabris didn't send her away. Why she didn't abandon her after they learned of Flemeth's plans. Why Tabris went out of her way to slay Flemeth and bring her the true grimoire. She asks Tabris why, and is baffled when the answer is, "I did it because I'm your friend," as if it's that simple.
The way Morrigan looks at the warden, the way her voice cracks when she says, "I want you to know that while I may not always prove... worthy... of your friendship, I will always value it."
She knows how this will end; Flemeth sent her with the wardens with the end goal of stopping the blight and obtaining the old god soul through the dark ritual. Morrigan knows that Alistair and Tabris are the only Grey Wardens here, and assuming they don't find more, one of them will have to die defeating the archdemon unless they agree to do the dark ritual.
With that context, her asking Alistair, "And what if a Grey Warden has forced to choose between the Warden he loved and ending the Blight? What should his choice be?" suddenly has so much subtext weaved through the words that I'm gonna start foaming at the mouth. She's practically telling Alistair that a warden has to die. She's scrutinizing his reaction to find any hint that suggests he would agree to the dark ritual in order to save himself and the woman he loves. And when he doesn't choose, she has her answer.
Morrigan made comments to Tabris about him, almost hopeful that their relationship was just a physical thing between them and not actually riddled with feelings... and then gives disapproval when Tabris says she loves him.
She doesn't want the warden to die; hell, she doesn't want Alistair to die, either; whether because she does actually care about him or because she knows it'll break her friend's heart if she loses him, or both!
Things would be so much easier if the only two Grey Wardens left to defeat the blight didn't fall in love, wouldn't they, Morrigan?
She knows that in the end, no matter the outcome, she will lose the woman she called sister and it's devastating.
Morrigan, who has never known true friendship. Who grew up isolated in the woods with an abusive mother and terrible implications for her future. Who discovered said mother planned to take over her body just as she did with her other daughters. Who doesn't understand kindness as it was rarely given to her without a catch. Who isolates herself from the others in camp. Who finally has a companion she cares about... and in the end, if her plan works and the dark ritual is completed, she'll end up pregnant and alone and wearing Tabris' resentment like a tender wound on her heart.
Or Tabris will reject the ritual, and will die to the archdemon.
Or her lover will.
I just- the dynamic between the warden, romanced Alistair, and Morrigan is so good and painful and rich that I'm gnawing on furniture as we speak.
#dragon age origins#dao#alistair theirin#dao alistair#dao morrigan#dao tabris#warden tabris#i'm replaying dao right now in case my recent written posts haven't made that obvious#the relationship dynamics the warden has with each of the companions is so so soooo good like there isn't a companion i dislike#i play into the slow burn with alistair's romance but it's not even just the romance aspect it's also their friendship too#playing dao and not romancing alistair would feel wrong at this point for me it's so crucial to the entire story and its development#and i love morrigan's friendship with the warden and how gutted tabris is when she comes clean about everything and offers the ritual#and then bails once everything is over and tabris is torn between hating her and feeling hurt and not wanting morrigan to be alone again#i talked more in depth about morrigan and the ritual in a previous post but it's a lot... especially when it comes to the witch hunt dlc#oh and then there's the friendship between tabris and zevran like don't even get me started on that sksksks i won't be able to stop#even a character like oghren who is the last person you'd think tabris would ever become friends with since he's y'know *oghren*#but i'll go on the record and say there's more to oghren that gets overlooked and overshadowed by his glaring flaws#and i don't wanna talk about leliana... she makes me too sad like ever since my last playthrough where i accidentally triggered her romance#while i was deep in alistair's romance i have a really hard time not reading into the things she says to tabris#in my last playthrough i dunno what i did but she confessed to tabris even though she was fully aware that tabris and alistair were togethe#and it was a *mess* okay like it really felt like we killed marjolaine and leliana was in a vulnerable position yet was hardened enough#to be like 'i know she and alistair are together but i'll take my shot anyway and attempt to break them up' like.... noooooo leliana D:#and the rest of the game it felt like she was bitter and still in love with tabris and i felt *horrible*#i just said i don't wanna talk about it but hhhnnngggg i'm taking extra precautions to not have a repeat of that this time#excuse my tag ramblings i'm just very passionate about dao and the companions okay#also want to note that this is my interpretation of morrigan's motivations based on how i play the game and my warden#so others might view this reaction and the warden/romanced alistair/morrigan dynamic differently and in that case#i would be interested to hear that different interpretations because those are always fun to read
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2024 reads / storygraph
In The Care of Magic
cozy erotica novella
the only witch in a small town of humans who regularly use her services but are ungrateful goes to her cottage in the woods to get away for a bit
she comes across an interesting book in her library and decides to summon a sex demon to relax, and after a few days they also start to become friends
bi MC, aro agender LI
Blessed By The Cupid Distribution System
romance/erotica novella
follows a woman feeling lonely and left out on valentineās day who wishes to experience a relationship
and a cupid on her first free assignment - who hears her wish and offers to find her a potential date, or they could spend the day together
and then they spend the day together. etc.
trans demisexual MC
#In The Care of Magic#Blessed By The Cupid Distribution System#two different stories just putting them together bc yknow#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#both about what they say on the tin. pretty simple and not amazingly written and i only read them for aspec charatcers lol#I found some of the prose a bit awkward#in magic: thereās a nice bit of companionship and developing friendship and discussion of boundaries and identity#but also itās so short that thereās not a ton of development of that; it just sort of happens.#cupid: similar feelings#I am a little confused about why you would be mad about your friends with partners being busy on v dayā¦.just hang out the next day??#i guess i do sympathise with having a strong yearning for romance when youāre disabled/trans & there are a lot of barriers to that tho#I am all for clear and open communication but at some points it just starts to feel unnatural#like they stop feeling like characters and more just the book telling you what really healthy perfect therapyspeak open communication shoul#be like. thereās a way to write it in a way that feels natural know? maybe that's just a result of all the writing not being amazing#I have questions about the broader worldbuilding also. but I know that is not the point.#but anyway if you enjoy these sorts of things more than me you might like them!
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One of the best Voyager scenes to indicate Tuvok & Neelix's dynamic and how I think Tuvok is just as if not more 'annoying'(positive) than Neelix is when Neelix pours Tuvok a fresh squeezed glass of a fruit juice blend and Tuvok's like (paraphrased) "I don't want to drink this." and Neelix is like "Can you please try it?" and Tuvok's like "I don't want to, you're really bad at this sort of thing. It's going to taste bad." and Neelix says that Ensign XYZ said she LOVED it, she even had a second glass! And Tuvok says Ensign XYZ could drink poison without a second thought and Neelix is like "Tuvok could you please just TRY it? Just try a little SIP of it PLEASE??" and Tuvok sighs and rolls his eyes and sniffs it before taking a sip and it turns out he loves it. Turns out it tasted good actually. And then after all that Neelix tries to talk to him over eggs (which he's again cooking fresh for him) and Tuvok tells him he doesn't wanna hear "the life history of his breakfast." Absolutely insufferable this man I would have burned his eggs on PURPOSE!!!!
#I love Neelix so much and I think he and Tuvok are very funny together - irritating4irritating#People say 'Neelix is so pushy with Tuvok!' and you know what? I think Tuvok can handle it. I think maybe he does need to be pushed -#down a flight of stairs. (he's my favorite character and he's so annoying...TUVOK!!!!!)#Tuvok: -kicking and screaming- I don't want to drink the juice!!! It's poison!!! You're trying to poison me!!!!!!!!!#Neelix: Can you please drink the juice. The fresh squeezed juice I made for you Mr. Vulcan??? Can you please???#Tuvok: Fine but if I die it's your fault. If I die from the poison you're FORCING me to drink it's on y- Oh this is delicious actually.#and don't tell me 'Neelix didn't make it SPECIFICALLY for Tuvok' bc I know he didn't but he says#'I'll start squeezing that second glass!' after Tuvok finishes his sip so he IS freshly squeezing it#Neelix: -makes Tuvok fresh squeezed juice-#Tuvok: Are you trying to poison me???#Neelix: -talks to Tuvok while making his eggs-#Tuvok: Can you be quiet???#<- TUVOK!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU EHHEHEHEH <3#Tuvok is the most annoying guy ever bc he doesn't care about what people think and is a snob with a lowkey superiority complex#vs Neelix is perceived as annoying (post his relationship with Kes) bc he cares a lot about being useful and helping the crew and sometimes#is too pushy because of that but listen...I think Neelix is sweet and genuinely trying his best - after the Kes plotline with him ends I#really don't find him objectionable. Just chatty & a bit overbearing maybe Meanwhile Tuvok !!!#Meanwhile Tuvok!!!!!!!!! HHEHEHHE#st voyager#star trek voyager#I think they should have done more with Neelix thinking the crew of Voyager were spoiled - specifically how Tuvok acts Like That sometimes#little lord Tuvok. oH SORRY...for DEIGNING to speak while preparing your eggs your HIGHNESS!!#I think people do a disservice to Tuvok by not talking more about how he's kind of a hardass and a snob v_v also a disservice to Janeway#indirectly bc her bestie is kind of a hardass and a snob and what does that say about her??#I also wish Neelix kept up a bit of that 'these people are crazy and also so soft oh my god shut up about the food being bad - we're trying#to SURVIVE!!! Eat the Leola Root!!' from the earlier seasons...I like when he shows he has a bit of bite#It's just funny and interesting that Janeway isn't friends with Tuvok bc he's 'not like other Vulcans' - she's friends with the most#Vulcany Vulcan ever and I love that for them.#CRIMINAL that we don't ever get any in-depth insight into their friendship#Tuvok
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GOD I am not emotionally intelligent enough for the situation I currently find myself in
#would you ever tell a friend that you are interested in them#like very very deeply fond of and interested in them#and have been for like four years#but they have been with the same other person that entire time#and have given no indication of being unhappy in that relationship#so you just resign yourself to making sure your friendship outlasts your crush#but then you see them for the first time in a long time and there are like. vibes.#like they emphatically and repeatedly say how much they missed you#and allude to how much they trust you and how easy you are to be around#and spend like. a lot of time in your company. like most of the week youāre in the same place#and you know that saying something could potentially sour the friendship but also you feel like maybe they deserve to have all the info to#make whatever decision#and repeatedly find yourself wondering if they even know you like men#hypothetically#what would you do#my life#oh and theyāre not just together w this person. they got engaged in the spring and recently moved cross country w them#theoretically#and again continue to refer to the future of this relationship#and the idea of participating in cheating makes you physically ill which is why you didnāt even tell anyone about this crush forever#and yet. and YET. there seem to be vibes. unless youāre imagining them. hypothetically#god I feel so awful about this and yet I know itās like. the oldest human dilemma lol#to be clear the goal of telling them would not be to convince them to cheat itās just on like the small off chance that they would. make#different choices. if they theoretically knew their teheoretical feelings were reciprocated. but also youāre not sure thatās what the feelin#feelings they have are
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Hey if youāre still enjoying and engaging with Harry Potter in any capacity you can unfollow me š please and thank you
Like. I get it. I was super into it as a kid too. I did not have the social context to pick up on the antisemitism or transphobia or sexism or fatphobia or bioessentialism or racism or anything else. I also picked up on surface-level language of Fighting Back Against Evil and ascribed my own values onto what that meant and thought we were all on the same page. I remember when the original kids who grew up with the books started becoming adult fans and picking up on the (blatant!) antisemitism and everybody was still mostly willing to give JKR the benefit of the doubt on it. (āShe was writing kids books!ā They said. āShe didnāt know she was penning a global phenomenon! She picked a common literary trend in European fairy tales (antisemitic caricature) and didnāt examine it closely. Itās a mistake anyone could make,ā we said. āShe would probably do things differently now. After all, she word-of-god confirmed the vaguest hints she dropped that Dumbledore might be gay,ā we said.) There was actually a span of several years where biases inherent in the actual real content of the Harry Potter series were coming to light and even the people pointing them out still seemed mostly to think it was an unfortunate accident.
That time has passed. Years ago! We are long past the first months of āmaybe she doesnāt realize this seemingly-feminist tweet she liked was made by a noted TERFā and then āhow could she not realize that these many veiled TERF-y things sheās retweeted have implications for the many queer fans of her workā and finally āoh wow okay JKR just dropped an entire transphobic manifesto on twitter. I guess the transphobia was the point.ā
Yeah, there were a few months after that where people were still processing and still working through how they felt about Harry Potter and all of its flaws with the context of the now open transphobia of the creator. I was there for that. Remember how I was one of the kids who built it up into something noble and worthwhile based on my own beliefs about what messages it was probably trying to convey? Turns out it wasnāt trying to say any of those things, and when you take the time to examine all of the terrible shit that made its way into the text whether JKR intended it to be there or not, the whole series falls apart. Itās weird to discover that thereās a room in your house thatās rotten to the core, but eventually you figure out you canāt live like that, still going in there and holding your nose and pretending itās still the same room you thought it was when the termites were only inside of the walls and hadnāt yet started chewing their way through the furniture. Because whatās going to happen is that they are going to infest the rest of your house. If you decide you can ignore transphobia and antisemitism and everything else just because you liked the color of the wallpaper, the rest of your principles are going to crumble too. You get rid of that fucking room. You put those books on a high shelf in the back of your closet behind other outgrown clothes and interests and you move the fuck on.
JKR uses the money made from her transphobic antisemitic childrenās books to actively funding hate groups and to lobby for legislation that will and has actually affected the actual lives of trans people in an entire country. We are past the point of grieving something you were wrong about in childhood. Kids are wrong about a lot of stuff. You grow up and you learn new information and you change your behaviors based on it. You have to choose. It is transphobic to pretend there is not transphobia where there is. It is transphobic to support the work of someone who is using those funds to take rights from trans people with every fucking dollar. It is hateful to continue to engage positively with a story that at its very core is rooted in hate and bigotry and prejudice. You can choose to do all of those things but you cannot claim ignorance of them and you cannot choose those things and still pretend that choosing them upholds the values we convinced ourselves that Harry Potter stood for over a decade ago as uninformed children. You cannot choose to do those things and pretend to still support your trans and queer and Jewish neighbors. I do not want you in my neighborhood. Leave.
#mine#Harry potter cw#yeah I donāt want to see or think about this shit either and Iām sure most of my followers are on the same page of just like. letās wipe it#from the public consciousness and do our best to just completely ignore it and forget it existed and in doing so take away JKRs platform and#influence and also stop the continued harm the series will do by propagated hateful biases in people who continue to read it#but despite heavily culling my feed over the course of the past several years and thankfully mostly not seeing HP fandom things anymore#Iāve been seeing a lot of responses today to people defending it and honestly I forget that there are still people out there doing that who#think they are just fine and normal fandom people with non-hateful and terrible interests and it makes me so angry#maybe more so because like. I was there too! I was annoyingly obsessed with Harry Potter from the ages of idk seven? up until whenever JKR#started being openly transphobic. I have so much fucking knowledge about this book series that will never leave my brain. and yeah it was#weird and hard to have to rethink things and realize that no actually it does feel bad and uncomfortable to continue to be a fan even#passively of these books. it was a big part of my childhood and several of my friendships. I fully get it. I was the weird kid also.#it was weird and hard to say oh actually this sucks and I donāt want to be a part of it anymore. but I did it! I got there! because it was#more important to care about real actual things and people than it is to fondly remember a book series for children.#and at the time it felt like maybe I did hang on a little longer than I could have and was a little later than some people and figuring out#my feelings and moving on from the whole thing. but it was still fucking years ago. and youāre still here?#because you like the color of the wallpaper in this shitty rotten broken down tacked on room? because we used to spend time there together?#buddy the room was giving us lead poisoning the whole time and the rest of us have accepted that and we are all outside doing other things.#you will find connection and community in so many places in your life. I promise. get the fuck out of that terrible awful room#and for gods sake stop bring out handfuls of mold you found under the floorboards and shoving it in our faces#nobody fucking wants this. we did it. weāre done.#so yeah I think I have an extra level of disdain because I know from personal experience that itās not *that* fucking hard to care more#about real life trans people than about antisemitic childrenās books.
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i agree 110% that dandelion is the storyteller, memory-recorder, history-writer, balladeer, etc. that he is the keeper of geraltās legend, the representative of the immortalizing quality of a narrative. of course. this is especially true in lady of the lake and in nimueās time when half a century of poetry has become an academic text.
but to be honest. i care more about dandelion in the fact that. that heās kind of just geraltās best friend and they like hanging out
#like people care more about how he sings about geralt vs the fact that they go grab beers and food together (when they are not starving)#c: dandelion#the witcher books#like whenever people discuss their relationship they seem to go for the big guns of āHES THE KEEPER OF THE STORYā and i agree but#you know theyāre just like a couple of guys knocking back beers and talking. a lot of the time.#when in the interview with david french he was like āand dandelion is geraltās bāā i was like āBEST FRIEND!ā and he was like āballadeer!ā#looking upon that now you could also write ābitchā that would also be correct#but jeez people make it sound like dandelion is geraltās publicity agent#i think he just sings and writes about him because he loves him and thinks itās a good storyā¦ hello?#s: i want to be by your side#txt#like what did their friendship mean for THEM. when they were alive. lol#i think itās just easier for people to say āthis man recorded the life of this heroā VS āthese men genuinely enjoyed each others companyā š„²#they dont want to admit that geraltā¦ geralt has a best friend
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so sad but trying to be so brave about it
#tomorrow my sister will leave and then the next time i see her it will be the last time i see her for a very long time#and i just found out that my brother convinced dad to let him stay in our hometown by saying that he'll live in the hostel#of his college#and ill be here#he's 18 i guess it is time. i just thought i had one more year with him#even tho all we do is argue and fight#but also binge watch entire 11 seasons of modern family together#i know he needs this experience to grow up and also he really needs to stay away from parents and truly learn about friendship and love#but like wow i can't even imagine a house without him#maybe all three of us in different places is the experience we need to grow up and be better people#i know i need to be better too a lot better#maybe hopefully it'll be okay?#having siblings is real fuckinh weird man#because you're fighting over charging points and thinking ugh i want to be alone i need space i need my own room#and then they leave and you're like wait no come back let's fight forever
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I wish I could go back and tell younger me that I would in fact find that place one day full of people that I adore deeply and who I know love me in return. Who make me feel wanted and cared for and appreciated in a way I never thought would be possible. And none of it required hiding, or forcing myself to be a person Iām not. And I still have that space even though Iām aroace.
For the first time ever, I see a future where Iām not alone. And I wish I could go back and tell my younger self it would happen. Itās possible to not be constantly lonely.
#ravenpuff rambles#Iāve been lucky enough in my life to make amazing friends several times#several of whom are still in my life now#but itās only been recently that Iāve felt like I truly found my place#I donāt know how to explain it#I guess up until now I have always gone into friendships expecting them to end and holding back just a little bit#and this is the first time I donāt feel like I have to run because I donāt feel like these people are going to leave me#maybe itās just because one of them is also aroace and weāve talked a lot about those similar feelings of being left behind#never had someone quite get that before#and maybe itās just I feel more willing to open my heart#admittedly this group of ours went through some shit together and thatās how the friendships really started forming#and so maybe that helps#but itās like#Have you ever met someone who is so much like you in so many ways that its like the joke of ā#ācan I copy your homework?ā āyeah just be sure to change it so no one knowsā#Itās a weird thing of feeling so completely and totally seen by somebody sometimes without having to say a word#anyways#Iām really happy with this little place I found and I wish I could tell younger me#and also tell xem that no it doesnāt look like a fanfic dream#no im not their person but yeah theyāre kind of mine but thatās okay#its nothing and everything like I always thought of#and for the first time in my life I donāt feel a crush sense of loneliness#yes I wish I could see them in person#but I can be okay with everything I do get
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guys. guys !!!!
#vanu is rambling#ok idk this is gonna b a happy post but i think there are lots of people who love me in this world. or at least enjoy my presence.#like i always always always ALWAYS doubt if my friends or family like me and in my head they all secretly hate me#but like for these past couple months things have been different.#i donāt feel so left out (like i usually do in groups) or alone.#like my friends genuinely want me there like they always ask me to go places with them. and i almost always say no because im so busy or#i just cant but they still ask me everytime. yesterday the whole group was calling and playing a game and i got a bunch of texts like hey#where are you u shud join the call itās rly fun ! but i just couldnāt bring myself to talk to anyone at that moment.#today they were rly happy when i joined the call and idk it made me feel like. oh. maybe my friends do like me#and also i have two moods: iām either super talkative or i go into my little shell and donāt say anything/add to a convo. and like during#those moments theyāll be like hey u ok? or theyāll just listen to me talk about ceramics and how fun it is or how much i hate eating pears#and like. we laugh so much together. like i have so much fun with all of them i love every single one of them omg#and scary thing is we might not even be friends after we start college. but yk what? thatās okay i donāt wanna think about that.#because like who cares? iām not gonna let my fears ab the future ruin my friendships. iāll always love them anyways. and weāll always call.#iām glad i met them. theyāre all such beautiful and funny and amazing strong willed-people. they are my friends.#itās just so crazy to me that they willingly want to spend time w me and are sad when i canāt. and theyāre so understanding at the same time#they donāt get mad about it. and like they have mad eng last year in high school so much more enjoyable.#someone told me that this is ur last year do things so when you look back you donāt regret anything- so you can be proud of what you did#and my friends helped me with that. and like i still feel lonely the majority of the class because despite this thereās like a permanent#stain of sadness right there at the bottom of my heart. but they make the hard days more manageable.#like iāve been on call with these people until ungodly hours at night just laughing and i go to sleep feeling a bit lighter.#they introduced me to the tech side of theater which i never thought iād get into but here i am. they teach me silly facts and words in asl.#they taught me dances- knowing full well i SUCK at it- because we all had fun with it. theyve taught me itās OKAY to be vulnerable in#friendships and that sometimes being open/yourself is quite literally the best thing you can do for your own soul and others. theyāre cool#people really. really cool people
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2023 reads
What Stalks Among Us
YA thriller
two best friends skip a field trip to explore some old forgotten backroads - and get trapped in a looping corn maze full of weird shit, including their own dead bodies
they have to figure out how to get out, whatās killing them, whatās causing the maze, and face their traumas
fat girl MC with anxiety, both are bi and have ADHD, no romance
#What Stalks Among Us#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#sarah hollowell#wait i just noticed it's them on her shirt on the cover...#i enjoyed this a lot!#it really immediately gets into it huh. not any build up. but in hindsight that makes sense#it gets a little repetitive in places but it works and I love how it all tied together#no romance#(it DOES explore past abusive relationships as a theme but very much just the effects of healing from that rather than showing#much of the actual relationships)#I really love how it emphasised how important their friendship is without there even being a question of it being romantic#(but also exploring that a bit re: the side character stuff in a way that I think is great)#it does make references and then explain them a lot (though also i get that could be an adhd thing with ur mind going on a tangent)#she even is like man i wish my brain would stop making all these pop culture references!#that plus a few other aspects of the writing felt a bit unsubtle - but also it is YA its allowed to be#that and a few other aspects of the writing felt a bit unsubtle - but also it is YA its allowed to be#also some of the references made me laugh LMAO. including:#'remember when you thought the maze followed crossroad rules from supernatural. do you think the maze knows about super hell'#i cannot fault someone for saying heckin wimdy because I sure do that. well not 'heckin' but#anyway felt like realistic teens#bisexual books
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sometimes i think about interactions boat and i have had and things he's said to/about me over the years and it makes me feel as though i must occupy some little space in his heart. like i live in his mind rent-free the way he does for me, although not nearly to the same extent lmao.
speak of the goddamn devil i just got a steam notification he's playing tf2
anyway i never thought i'd have that kind of effect on a person, much less my favorite content creator. but it sure appears to be that way, and idk. it makes me feel special. warms my heart n all that :)
#was one of two people to give me their phone number when i had to drop off of discord 2 years ago#never took advantage of it though (shy (also we have different brands of phones so texting probably wouldnt work right#other person was an irl friend (never contacted them either#i remember one time YEARS ago when he was wanting to read jjba on stream or smth like that#him: it's like REALLY not family friendly me: well i shouldnt watch bc i am a Child him: no its ok you dont have to skip It's very dirty th#like guy clearly just wanted me there bc he enjoys my company And he's said he does! i remember him saying he likes seeing me in chat#and once again he was the one that wanted me on the staff team when usually the staff pick new recruits and boat has final say#and apparently he's talked about me to his other friends. that's kinda where the old Time to Mod in-joke started#he was using voice to text to talk to whoever and said my username but the thing misinterpreted it#that coupled with the meme drawing i did that he edited so it's him just saying 'pain'. eventually that dumb fucking image spawned#and then there was the night he spammed it and spam mentioned me in chat when he was streaming while i was ASLEEP#once we were in a vc and he was like 'wow i'd forgotten what your voice sounded like' NEVER heard him say that to anyone else. What#dont even get me started with him and my artwork (man would probably flip tf out seeing what i can do now LOL)#guy literally wanted ME to design an official tff logo but at that point they were kinda slowing down so it never happened#but yeahno i just. ugh. our friendship means a lot to me. i am ITCHING to speak to him again you have no idea#and to just give him a big ol hug. been wanting that for such a long time#quite frankly a friendship dynamic like no other ive seen#dont mind me REMINISCING. im sooo sappy about him he's the most important guy in the world to me#if god exists he knew we'd be too powerful if we grew up together
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Not me suddenly creating an AU in my head about Altan and Lera being broken puppets in a magical shop owned by a wizard named... Sergey, of course. They try to repair each other in secret and find surprising comfort in one another.Ā
#basically a slightly angsty hurt/comfort AU with a happy ending#I could even say that it is more hurt/comfort deep friendship than it is romance#(and I definitely don't have a fic wip in my drafts nooooo how dare you think of that)#I have a lot of ideas about it actually#Altan has a broken eye mechanism and Lera's strings that hold her body together got old and loose so she almost mopes around the shop#Sergey tries to get over his break-up with Oleg by starting an unusual friendship with Igor with whom he plays chess (:D) on weekends#(don't worry Oleg is just on a journey of his own)#Sergey also has a fucked up Pygmalion and Galatea complex with Lera which is... honestly one of the aspects I love writing about?#customers in this AU are also a bliss to encounter#newlywed wizards Balor and Yana definitely go to this shop and Balor definitely has a tense relationship with Sergey#they usually come for some cursed illegal stuff which is fiiiiiine#the Realmwalkers trio also comes in here and usually it's Ksenia (I won't elaborate now but the main thing Sergey sells her is information)#Toma is one of the customers Sergey gets annoyed about but she's actually one of the few people who sees puppets as people#Koroleva scares the shit out of Seryozha which is the reason he sells her everything with a lower price#he's surprisingly polite to Angelina and the Nightingale#(yeah. remember about the Pygmalion and Galatea complex? the answer lies there)#Anton and Rita almost burn the shop to the ground but Sergey befriends them because they're pyromaniacs just like him :D#Yuma is a rare customer but a welcome one. this has things to do with the plot but it's too long to explain.#you should just know that she somehow gets everything for free#so yeah. that's my small au for zlatomaki I guess???#plague doctor
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to go to the club or not to go to the club
#it never ends well for me nowadays and i'd have a lot to do to get ready#like cutting my hair#all i really feel like doing is chilling here but i'm once again feeling like i'll regret not going out#idk. i'm tired#if i'm too exhausted to respond to the messages i want to respond to#and do my washing up#and hang out my clothes#then i should not be hitting the club#it's just going to end in literal tears because alcohol always makes me feel the full weight of everything i'm trying to not let consume me#lmao#but !!! it'll just be me and 2 friends#plus a friend's boyfriend#they're all lovely#and i might get to chat to one of those friends whilst drunk which is one of my favourite things to do#without the interference of another friend who is the most annoying drunk person i've ever encountered#she'll drink 1 unit and be acting like she's the only person in the world who matters#which tbh is how she acts normally but it gets worse when we go out#and just because i want to ramble in these tags (instead of getting up and making a decision about my evening)#she's also really funny about people getting approached by guys#said some odd things about it happening to me a few times#and on the first night we went out together and she saw it happen#aka when i was really bored so when someone came up i was like alright . and went with it#i kissed him and all i could hear (over extremely loud music and other people in between us) was this friend saying IT'S NOT FAIR#lmao. ok .#there is absolutely nothing about me worth being jealous of and yet#she somehow is (at least over this) and it somewhat ruins what could have been a fairly nice friendship#anyway ?????#since this is one night where she won't be there i should probably make the most of it and go#decision made#i guess
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