#but it also feels special bc instead of feeling overwhelming grief i also get to experience celebrating my best friend

[barkingangelbaby]

everyone please clap for me I actually started relistening to fantasy high at work (very funny knowing the big plot points but forgetting all the tiny details that got them there) n am on ep 10 already!! slowly sluggin' my way through so I'll ~eventually~ be able to watch the new season lol. I think I'm gonna relisten to unsleeping city when I'm done with FH too

[ambitionsource]

Who in the a class is in some kind of therapy?

what a question LMAO. but honestly, a very fair one indeed. while discussing this, es and i ended up basically dividing it into three groups (if someone isn’t mentioned, it just means none apply)

Is In Therapy Currently

Isadora || as we know from the canon of S3, isa is currently in therapy to work through the grief of valerie dying as well as like... the built up abandonment issues, anxiety, and struggles she has articulating or processing emotions lmao. it also helps her learn better methods to work with her autism

Farkle || i mean... we all watched S1 & 2. we know why he’s there LMAO and by god does he need it. it’s good that he’s improving though!!

Chai || she officially started therapy after the events of S1 while she was abroad because evidently her parents divorce really fucked with her emotional state and coping mechanisms -- as well as having sort of emotionally distant parents and having to navigate the world on her own. basically, money =/= nurturing. but yeah i think she realized what she did with tormenting her classmates wasn’t Healthy perhaps and so she sought out the resources to fix it on her own. her parents certainly weren’t going to be much help

Clarissa || clarissa has been in and out of therapy here and there since she was little, mainly for managing OCD. usually she’s fine and her appointments are infrequent (monthly at this current rate), but she tends to go back to her therapist when circumstances get very stressful, like the events of S2 (she mentions going back to therapy in a scene with charlie and haley in 210)

Not In Therapy Currently, but Has Before

Riley || though not by choice, riley went to therapy for a stretch of time in the aftermath of her bullying experience freshman year. by the start of S1, though, she’s on the tail-end of it after a whole summer full of it. she also had stints in family therapy when she was little when cory and topie were having their first bouts of marriage problems, but she doesn’t remember all that obviously. she’s thought about going back for herself because of all the divorce strain, but ultimately opted against it bc she didn’t want to go through cory or topanga. she mainly sticks to talking to eric if things get too overwhelming and using the coping mechanisms she already has

Darby || miss darbs spent some time in therapy in late elementary school due to having issues socializing with her peers. i think she’s always been a bit awkward and desperate to please, so that can get messy with kids cause kids are mean. she was also definitely bullied at that age for being really tall and so i think her parents put her therapy out of genuine concern just with the hopes that like, she’d be able to develop some coping mechanisms and have a safe space to get advice if they didn’t have the answers. and in some ways it helped, other ways no -- her friendships aren’t the healthiest still (as she’s the doormat), but i think she holds her own BETTER with the plastics having gone to therapy than if she never developed those emotional tools at all

Has Not / Is Not but Really Fucking Should Be in Therapy

LUCAS || this is like the most obvious blinking lights sirens wailing example ever. he is a walking textbook for endorsing therapy. between the domestic abuse, mommy and daddy issues, self-esteem in the subbasement, lack of life purpose, inability to read others well emotionally, inability to process his own emotions, the physical aversion due to his trauma, his kleptomania, his risk-taking behavior, his habit of lying, the fact that he has canonically walked off for days at a time with no warning, explanation, or safety net, that he sleeps in a fucking technician’s booth, he used to free-climb buildings SOMETIMES IN THE RAIN, no sense of self-preservation, intrusive thoughts, inability to express appreciation or affection in a normal non-stressful way...... this man is a therapist’s dream and nightmare. they could spend YEARS unpacking him. but will he ever go to therapy? no. because he a) doesn’t think he needs it, b) can’t ask for help ever, and c) could never afford it. and at this point, d) if his dad heard he was seeking help like that he would shut it down instantly. anyway, he’s the biggest case here. underline him in red

Charlie || charlie is a great example of someone who is like coping... sort of... not really... it Looks like they’re coping but they aren’t really and they really need help. like yes, charlie has stability in certain areas of his life that others don’t, and he’s extremely self-aware of his privileges, but i think that’s part of the problem. he’s convinced himself he doesn’t need or shouldn’t get external help because there are people who have it so much worse than him and he doesn’t... he doesn’t really need it, does he? he’s fine. he’ll be fine. and even if he did think about getting “help,” i think his first instinct -- and advice from others -- would be to go to his church leadership, which is not a suggestion made with ill will but just isn’t helpful considering half of his trauma is tied to his relationship with god and the church and faith. he needs a more objective space to unpack all of that, and obviously church itself is not the answer. i think that charlie will be able to work through a lot of his initial issues on his own with time and patience with himself (something we’re in the thick of right now -- we’re just barely in the acceptance phase), but he should really go to therapy in the future just to like... work through all of the long-term trauma he endured from his upbringing and bridgette’s exile and the dueling psychology of church vs sexuality. like... that’s gonna take some time to unravel and he needs to be in the right place to pursue that on his own. will he, i dont know, but i think when he does a certain heaviness he’s been carrying his entire life will finally like... lift. and he’ll be able to breathe better

Asher || so asher is a bit of a clusterfuck LMAO like he’s diagnosed officially with generalized anxiety disorder but he never saw a specialist, his mom diagnosed him since she’s a psychologist. the complexity here is that because of that... well, they say you should never let family be your personal doctors and i think that’s true for mental health professionals too. like emily basically gave asher the generic coping rundown when he was really young, and then he went on to develop his own coping mechanisms with, at least, a very fundamental understanding of what’s wrong with him. but he kind of developed his own complex about it all too, bc i think emily took pride in him being able to figure it all out and be so capable with his own mental health without ever going to therapy and he kind of internalized that, as well as having internalized a lot his mom’s perspectives and opinions as a mental health professional in a way that its like... well my MOM said that, so i feel kind of some type of way about it. so its all really complicated and twisted in his head and he just doesnt bother to unpack it (something, ironically, therapy would probably help lol). the thing about asher is that for all intents and purposes, he does cope well and he is really in tune with his own mental state. it’s just that he could seriously benefit from having an objective party help him untangle some of his neuroses i think and it would take some of the constant stress off his shoulders, but he’s honestly too stuck in his ways at this point to go. that being said, he’s a vocal advocate for therapy and its benefits -- just not for himself

Nigel || as discussed a bit in the ask i answered about him, i just think nigel carries way too much pressure on himself and he could benefit from someone helping him work through things instead of carrying all his stress on his own -- even if its less complex than some others. he’s like same range as clarissa.

Maya || maya has no issue with self-esteem, but i think she could still benefit from someone helping her actually unpack her issues over her dad and why she is the way she is. a therapist who specializes in narcissism would be a good fit for her -- not because she is one, but she does have... certain quirks where i think having that specialization can help unravel her motivations and actions a little more easily

Missy || she’s just a fucking mess. she shouldn’t be redeemed but i think therapy could really do her a favor and maybe make her less terrible and psychopathic towards people who aren’t like her. maybe

-- Maggie & Es

[inumaqi]

top ten tagged by @linkspooky 🍊 explanations under the cut! sorry for rambling xo → rules: name your top ten favourite characters from ten different fandoms, and then tag ten people - @osomanga @kara-suno @anonimarevolts @zeninmaki @wildbishonen @shysheeperz @tkmewthyou @kaldurlenn @joxterism @marshmallowdonutsprinkles

snufkin okay so he’s the only one not from an anime or manga but i had to put him on bc he’s the most important fictional character to me, ever. i grew up watching the moomin cartoons in the 90s and thinking about it instantly calms me down - they used to air the episodes early in the morning when it would still be dark outside: the landscapes were moody and cosy, the characters were so softly spoken and articulate... it’s just peak nostalgia. anyway, snufkin is moomin’s best friend; he returns to moominvalley every year to be with his friends during the spring and says his goodbyes to go adventure again come winter. it upsets moomin when he leaves but snufkin is adamant that quiet and solitude are important and healthy, and it’s not fair to expect him to compromise on his independence - that made a really big impact on me as a kid, especially as someone who never really had their ‘own’ space (twinsies). relationships aren’t weakened by physical distance or time, they’re about communication and understanding. that was important too. i don’t think i realised just how influential it had been until i was an adult but snufkin is an anarchist. he first shows up in the comics when moomin and sniff are talking about opening a bank - he tells them they should plant fruit trees instead. he destroys private property and rescues orphans, he refuses to participate in things that don’t bring him joy. when he’s asked where home is, he replies, “nowhere. or everywhere! it depends how you look at it” - the whole world belongs to him, and the whole world belongs to everyone else too.

yomo renji in general, i like characters that trudge along in the background and do the nitty-gritty work that supports the main story. i like people like that irl too. more than anything else, yomo is desperate to form human connections, even though he’s shackled by self-doubt and self-loathing. he just wants to positively contribute to a community, thinking he’s most useful keeping a quiet eye on people who might need protection/guidance (while still giving them space to grow and act themselves) or foraging for human corpses so that others aren’t in danger or moral anguish doing it for themselves.

bird boy is a total weapon - “the perfect ghoul” - and you’re reminded over and over again but a lot of his growth is about rejecting violence and repurposing his power as something productive that he can use to help the people around him instead of hurting people (the yang to uta’s yin). in the first few chapters, he says he kills humans (he’s a ghoul, humans are food, it’s natural) and yet he’s consistently framed as a scavenger who seeks out ‘roadkill’ [suicide victims] for sustenance, even before coming to anteiku, and implements a system so other people can do the same.

suguru getou i was originally gonna say meg bc i love him but, having just finished The Flashback Arc, i can’t stop thinking about getou and i’m beyond impressed with how akutami has managed to ground him so well, so sympathetically. getou is the sick, warped darkness to the hopeful light that gojou commands but... in an uncomfortable twist, the reverse is true, kind of.

actually, gojou is arrogant and confrontational and hyper individualistic. he’s a dissident. getou is obedient, compassionate, self-aware... he has a sense of social responsibility and passionately believes that his skills should be used to protect those who can’t protect themselves - non-jujutsu sorcerers - and all of the suffering he endures as a result is worth that. idk if others are reading his downfall differently but, from where i’m standing, that overwhelming responsibility never goes away, he doesn’t give up on it - he just starts to view the social landscape differently and begins to see how jujutsu sorcerers are vilified and mistreated in spite of all the good that they do. the ‘weak’ aren’t really weak when they’re able to organise and assert collective power over a minority, and so his sympathies shift.

the nail in the coffin for getou is learning that the hurt and pain could be eradicted from the world by cutting the head of the proverbial snake: non-jujutsu users generate cursed energy, so get rid of non-jujutsu users and cursed energy won’t be generated. it’s all horribly, weirdly rooted in good intentions that weigh him down and misdirect him.  shinazugawa genya i feel like the bond that slowly starts to develop betwen tanjirou, and zenitsu and inosuke (in particular) is nicely foiled by genya’s lonely journey towards becoming a pillar. after losing almost all of his family and having sanemi walk away, genya is angry, antisocial, rude, violent, evasive...

he’s characterised as competitive, as if he hates his peers and wants to leave them in the dust as an act of self-satisfaction, a power fantasy or whenever, but this is a deliberate misdirection to cover for the fact that he’s scrambling to be a pillar so that he can reconnect with his brother and prove to him that he can protect himself; that sanemi doesn’t need to shoulder everything alone like he used to. his entire goal is an act of apology.

and in a story where so many characters are able to hone these exceptional skills, genya is uniquely disadvantaged as the only one who can’t master breathing techniques. rather than having a hero moment and powering up, his need to reconnect with sanemi is so strong that he essentially decides to compromise his humanity and become a kind of monster by ingesting the demons he’s pledged to annihilate. amajiki tamaki i wish i had a a longer explanation for this one but it’s actually super simple: tamaki is a really, really, really good portrayal of a person burdened with severe anxiety. the way he physically carries himself, the way he hides his face, his manner of speaking, his dependency on his mirio, how he interprets compliments as trickery, how he needs to be pushed and pushed and pushed before he’s finally able to release his potential... every single scene with tamaki felt deeply personal when i was reading bnha and i knew exactly what he was supposed to be feeling. shinmon benimaru sometimes good, nice people don’t fit a little friendly mould and i like that benimaru is hostile and rough and antisocial, even with people he cares about. he doesn’t expect anything of people, he doesn’t want them interfering with him, and he wants to help and support them all the same because he believes in community. he’s completely oppositional to the special fire force because he thinks it’s a tool to pursue an ideology rather than to protect people, which is why it’s so important when the eighth are finally able to win his approval - they become the only company the seventh consider allies, and it’s proof that their objectives are righteous. despite his reputation as... kind of a nuisance, his skill is acknowledged by everyone and he’s universally regarded as the strongest fire soldier there is. in spite of his antisocial attitude, he agrees that it’s important to share that with younger fire soldiers - he’s incredibly patient and understanding with them, helps them to individually adapt. the way he (and others in company seven) operate in contrast to the other companies when fighting infernals is really cool to me for two reasons: (1) it provides a commentary on how cultures and traditions often struggle to survive when they’re systematically (forcefully) replaced through power and wealth - although the subtext is a little troubling because it’s unclear whether ōkubo is conflating multiculturalism with globalisation which, uh, big nope; and (2) philosophically speaking, the approach to death is interesting. where the other companies essentially perform last rites and offer absolution to the deceased, benimaru personally takes responsibility - at the request of the people in his district - for sending them off in huge public display, kind of like a festival intending to celebrate their life. i think it speaks to how profoundly he values life. akihiko kaji i liked akihiko from the beginning because he’s stoic and introspective and also excitable and dumb. he’s a people watcher and waits for opportunities to softly guide uenoyama and mafuyu when they’re quietly crying out for help but doesn’t interfere any more than he thinks is necessary because he knows they can make their own way to where they need to go. i liked akihiko even more when he got really fucking messy. his relationship with ugetsu is sweet and it’s incredibly ugly and unhealthy because they both fail utterly to communicate with one another - they’re both to blame for avoiding and hurting each other, and i think that’s a really normal issue that people find difficult to overcome. i’m super interested (and really nervous) to see how his relationship with haruki develops. he’s done some horrible things to haruki and i want him to be accountable for those things and have them affect their relationship in a realistic way.

tanigaki genjirou one thing i really, really love about golden kamuy is the way noda satoru incorporates the importance of minority cultures into the story, and tanigaki’s apparent abandonment of his matagi heritage is really beautifully written. matagi hunting traditions shaped his life as a young man, it’s how he was able to really assimilate to the people around him and form relationships and - without getting too spoilery - he divorces himself from it all when he’s overcome by grief and hatches a plan for revenge against the person responsible. so, by allowing himself to surrender to negative feelings and thoughts instead of seeking support and learning to heal from what happened, he becomes a total shadow of himself. 

makimura takeshi i know i’ve gushed about it before but i can’t properly explain just how incredible it felt seeing an asexual character in manga dialogue about being asexual, and devils’ line does it twice. the reason i’m so attached to makimura in particular is because he doesn’t seem to have fully figured it out - and he’s kinda... comfortable with that. he wants to be with someone and he wants to be monogamous but he can’t understand why he doesn’t feel sexual desire towards her; he knows his feelings aren’t platonic but doesn’t know whether they can really be called romantic either.

not to go dark mode but i very vividly remember just how lonely and horrifying it was battling with those uncertainties when i was a teenager, thinking i was broken because i didn’t have Normal Human Feelings and needed to be fixed. i was so worried about it that i thought about all the boys i knew, picked the one i thought was the nicest and actively tried to develop a crush on him. it was dumb as fuck but, ten years later, i realise it was really desperate and sad too. i forced myself to have ~my first kiss~ (it was horrible) because i felt like i was getting left behind and i think i would’ve put myself in worse situations as i got older if i hadn’t suffered with such bad social anxiety.

i hadn’t really thought too much about a lot of this stuff for yeaaars but it all came flooding back when i was reading devils’ line. it was bittersweet bc i was remembering all of those shitty feelings but also watching this character grapple with those same questions and go: i don’t know yet and that’s not weird, let’s just grow with it. i still don’t totally know whether i’m ace or aro or bi, or whatever, but i’m trying to be okay with just... not knowing.

misora shuuji anyway, devils’ line isn’t actually a manga with a specific focus on sexuality and gender but shimanami tasogare is and all of the characters are written beautifully. if you haven’t read it yet... then why haven’t you read it yet? misora is only about twelve years old and watching them battle with their growing pains is really compelling - they’re closeted but, through the lounge, they have somewhere to explore their gender and all the questions they have about it. they’re amab and present as traditionally feminine wrt clothes, wigs, makeup, etc. but can’t quite tell if they see themselves as a girl, a boy or non-binary.

with the onset of puberty and anxieties about physical changes to their body, misora’s story puts a lot of emphasis on the pressure they face to just ‘make up their mind’ about something that’s actually incredibly complex and doesn’t have any easy answers. they snap and shout and get upset, especially when tasuku (the protag) tries to push them into a corner because he wants a concrete label or identity he can attach to misora, even though space is exactly what misora needs.

[livvywrites]

wip: three birds

so this is an old WIP that i’ve been thinking about again?? it was actually a fanfic when i first started thinking about/writing it, but... it’s canon-divergent/au enough that i want to turn it into my own thing. so i’m still in the process of doing that, but, i’ve gotten enough down that,,, i think i’m ready to talk about.

it’ll be a long time before i write this bc Metanoia is taking pretty much all of my attention but!!! i still enjoy thinking about it & i kinda wanna gush about it, y’know?? so!!

the working title is three birds, though i’ve also been playing around with the last time. three birds is a little more fitting, though. mostly because i want my three main characters to have nicknames after birds.

it’s a romantic fantasy/fantasy romance, more than anything, though i definitely want to add some conflict in there.

under a cut because this is kind of long!! AND tagging two people who showed interest :D

@idreamonpaper & @writinginslowmotion

the main protagonist’s name is Inalyn Keets. she often goes by “Ina” for short, or by “Sparrow,” a nickname who’s origins i’ve yet to figure out. she’s a half elven mage.

the country/empire that she’s from, though, sees mages as subhuman. the government rounds them up as soon as their magic presents it self and takes them to various “compounds” where they’re raised to be used as soldiers/healers for their armies. which, in turn, allows them to expand their borders and gain more power/influence.

her magic presented itself when she was a little older. as did that of her best friend, Corbin Anderson. Corbin, often known as Hawk, and she actually met after both of them had been rounded up and were on their way to the compound. they bonded during that trip. even though both of them were afraid, he made her laugh, and feel so much less alone. they’ve stuck by each other ever since.

Corbin was from one of the countries that her country had conquered/added to the empire. his father had actually turned him into the soldiers, in hopes of getting compensation from the government. (which both he & Ina’s family did get.)

because both of them were older (Ina was 12 and Corbin was 13) they were among the few their age to actually remember what the outside was like. and neither of them ever stopped wanting to get out--to do something other than become soldiers or tools for the government to use. Ina wanted to wait. to get the training the government offered and then slip out, use it against them and hide away somewhere they could never find her. Corbin wasn’t as patient, and he was constantly escaping. and in turn, getting punished for it.

as such, the other friends that Ina made weren’t very fond of Corbin. he wasn’t fond of them either, though he never told Ina not to hang out with them. Ina didn’t really care what her other friends thought, though. Corbin was her best friend--and, when she grew older, also her first love.

unfortunately, relationships are discouraged in the compound. friendships were allowed, as it made for better teams, but romantic relationships (or sexual relationships) were considered a hazard, and so forbidden. that didn’t stop Ina and Corbin from sneaking around, though. (they had rules, though. they were too afraid that romance would make it too hard to keep from blowing their cover; would make it so that staying inside the compound was too unbearable. they swore off saying ‘i love you,’ even though both of them felt it. they kept it light. casual.)

sadly, though they had a good run of it for a while, eventually it got to be too much for both of them. to almost have it, but not quite... it was just. it was a lot. combined with Corbin’s repeated escapes---and then him being dragged back and punished, more and more harshly each time... it was. it was something they mutually decided they needed to wait for. they remained close friends, though.

and then, when Ina was 21 and Corbin was 22, Corbin managed to escape. he escaped for an entire year. it was the longest he had ever been gone, and for a while, Ina dared to hope that he would make it.

he didn’t.

they dragged him back, and decided that this time; this time they would make an example of him. they decided to throw him in solitary, and keep him there for as long as he had been gone.

Ina was horrified. she knew the possible consequences of keeping someone in solitary for a year. luckily, though, during her early days of exploring the compound, she’d discovered a secret passage down to the prisons. she was able to sneak down there every now and again and visit him.

for eleven months, that’s what she did.

and then, she was approached by one of her other friends, Rian. Rian had a problem. he had fallen in love with one of the Wardens--their guards--and she for him in turn. they wanted to escape. to live a life on the outside, where they didn’t have to worry. they had a plan to get out--but they needed a third person to pull it off.

Ina agreed. she told Corbin what was happening, and promised to meet him “on the other side.”

unfortunately, though, both she and Rian had been duped. the Warden was using them to cover up a crime that she and her actual lover (another Warden) had committed--knowing that they would never be believed over one of the Wardens. they were going to be executed, or perhaps locked away in one of the special mage prisons... until one of the Vigilant stepped in.

the Vigilant were an ancient order devoted to protecting this world from evil. right now, i’ve got the “undead” as the main problem they face, but i may change that. they reserve the right to conscript people, & are often used for places that some criminals can get a “second chance.” the Vigilant had come to find recruits for his order... and he found them in the form of Rian & Ina.

on the way to where the army had gathered, he told them that there had been recent sights of a Rift, and that the Vigilant had assembled alongside the Emporer’s army just in case there was something bigger on its way. however, the Vigilant’s numbers had thinned out recently due to some problems in the south, so they were bulking up.

once at the camp, they were introduced to some of the other recruits. both those who had already been initiated, and those who had yet to be initiated.

among those already initiated was Theron “Finch” Jamison. (another name I’m considering for him is Finley/Finn!) Theron had the natural talent of a Warden, who could suppress magic if they focused their will. he hated the lifestyle, though, and did everything that he could to make himself as undesirable as possible. it worked. so much so that when the recruiter came around looking for someone, the teachers told him not to even consider Theron. but, of course, he was recruited away.

he’s been a member of the Vigilant for six months now, and he’s assigned to watch over a handful of recruits--including Ina & Rian.

Ina finds him charming, and even a bit funny, but she’s wary around him due to his past. they get to each other a bit before the initiation, and Ina does warm up to him some, but she’s still wary.

the initiation, though... it’s rough. i haven’t figured out all of the details yet, but it’s something that not all of the initiates survive. Ina survives--but Rian doesn’t. on top of that, she finds herself... changed by the initiation. more sensitive to the dark forces present in the world. more attuned to other peoples auras, able to sense intent. her eyes have also changed. they’re now a shade of gold that almost glows in the dark--much like every other Vigilant she’s met.

Ina doesn’t have much time to recover from the pulsing headache or soreness, though. the grief hasn’t even really set in yet when the alarm bells ring. the people assemble. the Vigilant who recruited Ina & Theron tells them to start rounding up the servants and other non-fighters. they didn’t expect to be swarmed at their own camp.

unfortunately, though, things don’t go as planned. the camp is overwhelmed. Theron and Ina fight for as long as they can--and they expect that to be the end.

but then. they wake up.

they were saved by a mysterious woman who lives in the surrounding wilds. she’s part of a coven of magic users who escaped the government’s thrall & have made lives for themselves outside the empire’s borders. however, the arrival of rifts & the undead has thrown everything into disarray... and she wants to help stop it, instead of cowering in the forests. so. now she’s babysitting a couple of Vigilant.

(why them? they were the only ones she could save.)

& thus begins a long journey. not only do they save the empire & make several friends in the process, but... Ina and Theron fall in love. she resists it, really hard, at first, because she always imagined having a life with Corbin. but... she has something with Theron, something she can’t ignore. and when everything is dark, when everything is burning, when the whole world is falling apart--Theron is there, and she needs that.

when it’s all over, Theron & Ina stand before the emperor himself. he thanks them for saving the kingdom, and he promises them a handsome reward. however, his hands are tied, as many people aren’t happy that it was a mage who saved them---or that a mage is now in charge of the new Vigilants. so. to reward them but also to make the people happy, Ina is awarded a fortress for the Vigilant to build in and grow... but it’s a fortress on the edge of the wilds, near a teensy farming village.

it’s something, though. it’s freedom, really, so Ina is happy with it.

they’re joined by a dwarf named Saeora, whom they met during the course of their travels. Saeora wants to join them and become a Vigilant--a request Ina is happy to grant.

of course, when they get there... everything is in disarray. there’s something out in the Wilds terrorizing the locals; the fortress is half-falling apart; and... well. there’s a disgraced son of the previous lord locked in the dungeon, alongside a pair of elven twins, and a very familiar mage.

after some discussion, Ina decides to induct them all into the Vigilants.

but there’s still the matter of the town to save, and a fortress to rebuild. oh. and figuring out how she’s supposed to manage her love for two different men.

well. okay. Theron has a solution for that third one. polyamory. but there’s still some balancing to be done to make everything work--and Ina is going to do her damnedest.

[magziraphale]

RIGHT THEN

So I’ve been to see FB2 for the second(!) time with my partner tonight, after a wonderful flaily day with @daddygraves (thanks bab), so it is TIME for THOUGHTS and EXCLAMATIONS!

These are under the cut bc spoilers.

Also, please feel free to come chat/shout with me about the film and our favs but please don’t shout at me. I am small and allergic to confrontation.

THIS WILL BE QUITE LONG AND SUBJECT TO AMENDMENT/UPDATING/FURTHER RANTING

So let’s get it out of the way - our beloved grumpy coffee bean is neither seen nor mentioned (as we probably expected). A poor choice, but I have fandom and you will pry my wizard daddy Percival Graves from my cold dead fingers Joanne.

More thoughts:

The movie is nowhere near as bad as I was expecting. For quite a bit of it I actually enjoyed myself, though it is, plot-wise, a bit of a mess that leaves you leaving the cinema like this:

I have issues with the way some of these characters are used almost as mere narrative devices to tie them to the Potter story instead of giving them the life and attention they deserve on their own terms. The film felt a bit like a placeholder? Like its purpose was to move things along a bit and there was just too much crammed in. I think that’s my main issue - it wasn’t bad, at times good, but it could have been great.

Anyway,

NEWWWWTTT. Newt my son, my shining star. I love you, never change. The minute he comes on screen I smile. He is an utterly wonderful character who stands out from so many main protagonists and this hasn’t changed.

Credence. My shadow son. The going with Grindelwald was expected tbh, it seems partially the history of abuse and partially the fact that he seems quite numb to fear now? Like so much pain has happened and he’s still fucking here? However, for the character that’s supposed to be the key in the narrative he’s shamefully underused. Ezra had so little to do compared to the first film and it’s a waste (something hopefully/possibly rectified in later films but we’ll see). Tbh if it wasn’t for the first one I wouldn’t adore him as a character the way I do bc he’s just not there enough.

Ok here’s the rant: A DUMBLEDORE?! REALLY?! As much as Credence with a phoenix is very cool (and him caring for the chick ended me) and Aurelius is maybe better than Corvus, I need some pretty good reasons to be convinced? Having 2 obscurials in the family, plus the fact that Credence’s overwhelms the power of Ariana’s and tbh lessens her narrative value, it all seems awfully contrived. It’s a narrative mess at the moment. AND they obviously leaked all that about Nagini to deliberately throw off this. I still don’t get why he has to be someone from a ‘special’ bloodline.

Someone give Jacob a fucking hug. That poor guy. I genuinely love Jacob and his grief after Queenie left was very well done. Also, Jacob and Newt brotp forever, they really have such a lovely friendship.

I really don’t know about the whole Queenie thing. She seems almost totally disconnected from the character shown in the first film. There weren’t hints or anything? I would much rather they have her become convinced by Grindelwald without the whole ‘madness/crazy’ thing which I really didn’t like.

Tina seems a bit more...aurory? Kinda? Tho a lot of her role is lurking tbh. But as someone who is a bit indifferent, Newtina in this were actually pretty cute and I found myself smiling at them quite a bit.

Was there a point to having Nagini in this? Again, shamefully underused after all that kerfuffle. 

CREATURES - I loooove the magical creatures and would happily die for them. Niff and Pickett are back! I adore the zouwu. BUT I did want more creature time. (btw whoever thought it was a good idea to show me an injured niffler and then leave a short gap before finding out he’s fine owes me a new heart the fuckers)

Theseus. Well he may not be who we’d hoped, but it makes sense in some ways. There’s an awful lot left unsaid. Having said that, seeing them fight in sync and come together at the end was something beautiful.

I felt like we didn’t really see magical Paris? Like apart from the circus and a bit of a nod to the ministry you could have been anywhere which disappointed me a bit. But again, lots of scope for our own creativity on the plus side.

Depp as Grindelwald was actually not bad. Not like I was expecting. Still, I feel like the script is written for a Depp in his prime, the one I remember from years ago and not what he’s become. It feels like a missed opportunity.

WHAT WAS THE BONG SKULL ABOUT I’M LAUGHING (yes, there’s a history of using various substances to induce visions but it came out of nowhere and was a bit like wtf. Also, a skull. Calm down edgelord.)

Young Newt was fantastic at copying older Newt’s mannerisms.

Leta was wonderful I love her.

God this film is dark af. I’m not quite sure how I feel about that.

[mmmuuuiiiirrr]

feb 3, 2022

my dog died yesterday,, i wasnt supposed to put this here but im overwhelmed with emotions. oreo was one of the best friends ive had. i had him for only two years but in that span of time, we played a lot, kissed him goodnight, hugged him, and i treated him as if he were a real human being. he was there whenever i needed someone to confide in-- he witnessed how i broke down because of my subs last year, even for this year’s 1st semester. this is why i find it so difficult to just get over his death. ive been crying straight for a day now cause i miss him so much, im not used to spending the day without taunting him because he would always playbite. during meals, id always give him the biggest share because i wanted him to be chubby (he was the only boi among my doggos, so he was a bit spoiled). we had a really special connection, so now im kind of lost. a while ago, when i was feeding his siblings, i still called his name bc i never want to forget how that feels. im putting this here bc it sucks that i dont have someone to share it to--who also has the same grief that i do. the ones i call parents are so emotionally distant that they don’t even care to sit down with me and comfort me. they always want o escape instead and divert their attention to my cousins. i kind of really feel alone in my house, it hurts so much because i feel like ive been neglected. im always left to deal with my feelings alone.i dont want this anymore, i really want to kill myself. i saw a quote before saying we must never hate people for not giving the same amount of love that we pour. but how?? in my situation, who am i left with then? arent parents supposed to shower their children with so much love?? why shouldnt i hate and blame them?? if in the first place,  before they started a family, they shouldve fixed themselves and ensured that they know how to love instead of giving me trauma..

[frcstwclf-moved]

by popular demand (aka @warricrbcrn suggested it and i told her to) i’m going to answer all of these questions. answers under the cut.

abalone: what kind of situations compromise my muse emotionally answered

aegerine: my muse's opinion of the supernatural he has respect for the spirits of his ancestors, obviously, but that’s really it

agate: how my muse calms down answered

blue lace agate: my muse's favorite form of communication (verbal, letters, texting, etc.) verbal communication is really the only way he communicates (he rarely writes letters and doesn’t have much experience with sign or anything else) so i guess that.

fire agate: if my muse is brave or cowardly he’s a big brave boi. he’s not stupidly brave, but still incredibly so. he isn’t fearless either, but he’ll jump into a fight no problem if need be.

moss agate: if my muse has a high or low opinion of themself answered

amazonite: what kind of situations call for my muse to be dishonest answered

amethyst: what my muse would most like to be able to shape-shift into ... a wolf.

ammolite: how lucky or unlucky my use is considering all of the events in his life, unlucky. not that he believes in luck, but anyway.

angel aura quartz: my muse's opinion of LGBT+ issues not really something he has experience with. i don’t know that LGBT+ issues were really a thing for orcs of his time; they existed, i’m sure, but considering the way that a lot of orc culture works and how intolerable a lot of it is in general, gay, trans, and other orcs of similar identities and sexualities were probably closeted and thus Durotan probably has no idea about any of it. that’s not to say he wouldn’t support them; he feels everyone has the right to a happy life. everyone. (willing to make a longer post on this later)

apache tears: a sadness headcanon he just vanishes and stops talking when he’s sad. he’ll just sit there. you have to make sure he even survives to the point where he’ll break into emotion again, be it negative or positive, because he’ll just sit in the same spot and stare at the ground for fucking hours.

apatite: a headcanon about my muse's intuition it’s saved his life so many times, its ridiculous. his gut-feeling is his best friend, but it seems to clash a lot with his reasoning, especially around Gul’dan’s time of power.

apophyllite: my muse's religious/spiritual beliefs what religion would you call the orcs? they worship their ancestors, it’s not like there’s any god at play there.

aquamarine: where my muse feels most calm/relaxed his home. sitting around their big communal fireplace in the center of their village with his family.

biotite: the biggest problems my muse is currently dealing with being dead. lol

bloodstone: how my muse sees themself as part of the world at large Durotan just feels like he’s another orc chieftain doing his job. he doesn’t understand why so many people think he’s so special, outside of standing up to Gul’dan.

calcite: my muse's social tendencies (introverted vs extroverted, parties vs one-on-one conversations, etc.) he likes people, but anymore than the orcs in his clan and he feels a little overwhelmed. he really only had one good friend that he talks to consistently, and that’s Orgrim, but as far as chieftain-y things his social skills are decent. he’ll tread water until he physically can’t handle it anymore, which is incredibly rare.

carnelian: an art-related headcanon Durotan actually has some artistic talent. he can kinda sketch landscapes and people, if he tries.

celestite: how my muse deals with anxiety not healthily, lmao. he bottles it up until it explodes into one giant mass of anxiety, which means he’ll go sulk for a few hours if possible. if it isn’t, he gets REALLY irritable REALLY quickly.

chalcedony: the saddest my muse has ever been the morning he discovered Ga’nar’s body, the morning after Garad had died and Durotan had been named chieftain. the grief, the anxiety, and the overall reality of it overwhelmed him until he was physically trembling. he spent that night weeping in his mother’s arms.

chalcopyrite: how my muse deals with ending relationships it’s hard for him to do, but if there comes a point where he has to cut ties with someone, he’ll drop’em like they aint shit. no questions asked.

charoite: who my muse looks up to answered

chrysocolla: a money-making headcanon he doesn’t have any, lol.

copper: how I think my muse will end up when they're older he’d be an awesome, wise old chieftain tbh. he’d know alllllll the Frostwolf secrets to teach the kiddos. he’d be heavily grieved by the clan, had he died of old age.

coral: how my muse views the natural world it’s incredibly precious to him. watching Draenor die was one of the hardest things he’s ever done.

diamond: a sex headcanon [ SWEATS ]

dolomite: a sleep headcanon Durotan is a light sleeper, and he either lays on his side or his back. he is often kept up at night by bouts of night terrors and general insomnia, so he’ll stare at the ceiling of the tent until it’s early enough for him to leave and roam around camp without being questioned

emerald: how my muse tells someone they love them without words touches and gestures. arm around your shoulders, a hug, a pat on the arm, that thing people do where they rest their hand on your lower back, hand on your shoulder... the works.

fluorite: what my muse's room looks like it’s relatively neat, i imagine Draka kicks any mess in their tent back into shape. having two sloppy older brothers kinda made him wanna be organized considering there was a time where all five of them lived in a tent together and, from personal experience, sharing sleeping spaces with your siblings fucking sucks

fossil: what my muse's dream job is he really doesn’t have any quarrel with being chieftain. he doesnt know what else he’d do, honestly.

galena: what it's like to be in a relationship with my muse lots of playful bickering and play fighting, but he also will show regularly how sincerely and how much he cares, whether in words or gestures is up to him.

garnet: what my muse's perfect partner would be DRAKA.

gold: my muse's financial situation i don’t know how financially dependent Frostwolves are. pretty sure they just hunt, make, or gather everything they need. he’s doing fine.

hematite: how squeamish my muse is he’s witnessed graphic cannibalism, stabbed a numerous amount of people and gutted and/or beheaded just as many, and has literally bathed his entire face in blood. he doesn’t care. the only thing that’s ever succeeded in making him puke that wasn’t caused by sickness was the combined stench of several hundred decaying bodies, sweaty gross B.O. bodies, and piss and fecal matter when he already felt incredibly put off by his situation. and he puked ONCE.

hiddenite: how much of an "inner child" my muse has jesus, he’s such a man-child. he’d be wrestling in the mud with Orgrim well into his 40′s, knowing him.

iolite: my muse's drinking habits Durotan doesnt drink often but when he does he gets fucked UP. waiting for the day he wakes up in bed next to Blackhand or something tbh.

jade: if my muse would ever cheat on a partner NEVER. hes loyal as fuck. plus Draka would flog him

jasper: what my muse would be like as a parent the dad who tries to be cool and hip and relatable w his kid bc he loves him but just embarrasses Go’el

kyanite: an anger headcanon he screams into Stormfang’s pelt, sometimes. as if killing the poor fucking thing wasn’t enough.

lapis lazuli: where 'home' is to my muse anywhere that his family is. they are his home as much as Frostfire is.

lodestone: what kind of people gravitate towards my muse all kinds of people, honestly. he’s a charismatic and fair leader that’s well-loved by his clan, people like that.

malachite: what my muse as a child thought they would be when they grew up he thought that he and Orgrim would be the clan’s mightiest hunters. he hadn’t a care in the world about being chieftain.

mica: what my muse views as their worst personality trait he thinks he doesn’t have a good enough hold on his temper. he’s constantly afraid of snapping and killing someone without meaning to.

moonstone: my muse's opinions on outer space he thinks the idea of it is cool as shit, even if all he’s ever seen are the moon and stars from the ground. he thinks it’s beautiful.

mother of pearl: if my muse tends to lift people up or bring them down he’s always tried to bring them up, and he usually succeeds. Durotan has never been a pessimist, and he’s always been able to inspire and invigorate the Frostwolves at their lowest points.

nebula stone: how good my muse's memory is very sharp and keen. he can remember things that were said or happened years ago like it was yesterday.

obsidian: which of the seven deadly sins my muse would be probably wrath or pride. Durotan’s temper and lack of self control when upset has always been one of his greatest downfalls, and the Frostwolves are kinda known for being incredibly proud of their heritage and who they are. i feel like he’s a closer match to wrath, just because he’s a bit more humble than, say, Garad.

opal: how creative my muse is he’s moderately creative. he’s not really an artist or a creator, but he enjoys and appreciates creativity and the arts and would rather delight in others’ ideas instead of wrack his brain for his own.

pearl: a mental health headcanon anxiety and stress are eating away at his psyche 3/4 of the time, but he’ll be damned before he admits that to anyone. his PTSD gives him a lot of hell, too. he’ll wake up in a cold sweat right out of a nightmare about his father or one of his brothers or Stormfang, and he’s even had ones concerning that whole cannibalism Nokrar situatuon, but instead it’s the whole clan lying there gutted and eaten, wolves and all. he doesn’t really have flashbacks, unless something REALLY fucked up is going on and it somehow pertains to one of those things. he feels neverending guilt about his entire life in general and not having been able to do more for the people he’s lost. it’s not healthy, at all, and occasionally he’ll open up about it to someone he trusts. usually doesn’t happen all that often, though.

petalite: what my muse would do if they found a wallet on the street ”WHO’S WALLET IS THIS”

pyrite: a physical health headcanon i don’t think that he’s as ripped as everyone seems to think he is? I mean yea he’s buff and strong and huge but i don’t think he’s got a perfect six-pack or anything. a very toned dad bod, if you will

quartz: how my muse thinks other people see them as an authority figure, or a friend. or an enemy. depends on who ‘people’ is.

rhodonite: if my muse prefers elegance or convenience CONVENIENCE.

rubellite: if my muse has any 'triggers' that inspire painful memories Ga’nar and Fenris, honestly. he avoids mentioning them in conversation like the plague. the names themselves ARE painful memories.

ruby: a happiness headcanon if he’s smiling with all of his teeth showing, it means he’s fucking ECSTATIC.

sapphire: if everyone my muse knew was hanging off a cliff and they could only choose three to save, the rest certainly dying, who they would choose JESUS CHRIST I HATE THESE. he’d take Go’el, Draka, and Orgrim, probably. watching the rest of the clan plummet off a cliff (HIS FUCKING MOTHER BEING A PART OF THEM), he’d NEVER forgive himself.

serpentine: how my muse would seduce another [alt: how my muse makes their money] DUROTAN? SEDUCE SOMEONE??? H A

silver: if my muse prefers masculinity or femininity he really doesn’t give a damn. what’s even the difference, in orc culture? everyone’s got long hair, everyone’s wearing skirts, everyone’s kicking ass and taking names... how does it work

tsavorite: if my muse believes in destiny or fate answered

ulexite: how empathetic/sympathetic/compassionate my muse is extremely. he cares about everyone and everything, and doesn’t want to hurt people if he doesn’t have to. unakite: what my muse's ideal pet would be his wolfie, Nightstalker. loves him to bits

verdite: my muse's ethnicity/family history an unbroken line of Frostwolf chieftains, apparently, and he descended from the nomadic Frostwolf Clan

zebra stone: what gets my muse excited wolf pups. hunting. Draka. Orgrim. Go’el. Geyah. weaving. horse-play. his clan mates. THERES A LOT.

zoisite: does my muse believe everything's going to work out for them in the end or not? ... yes. he really, truly believes that everything will be okay.