#but it HURTS because they/them and it/its are literally my pronouns because i speak this language!!!!!!!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spicerackofblorbos · 10 months ago

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Chapter 1: November

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, eventual smut (these update with every chapter)

☾ Author's note ➼ Hey guys! This is my first time writing fanfiction in a loooooong time, like the last time I wrote was probably in 2011. So with that said please be kind with any feedback or comments. I hope you enjoy! (also I made Hange's pronouns she/her/them/they)

Edit (11/27/2023): Hey guys, welcome to my little world of Unspoken Words. I have quite literally used this story as a way to better myself as a writer. As you read on, you may find that I've progressed (ofc I have a long way to go) but because of that, my first few chapters might be rough. With your patience, you may find a liking to this story as I know I've loved writing every word of it.

☾ word count ➼ ~7.1k

20-something years ago

You’re not sure how, but you find yourself sitting in the back of a big, white van. Red and blue lights danced in your eyes, and it felt like a thousand people surrounded you. Something plastic is placed on your face then you are instructed to breathe in deeply. You thought it was funny to be told to breathe, like you don’t just do it naturally, but you follow instructions regardless. It’s hard though, every part of your body hurts, chest included. Every breath you take feels like your insides are on fire.

‘Fire’, you think.

Everything is on fire.

Present Day

Levi stood blank faced as he meticulously cleaned the blender station for what felt like the 100th time today. The late afternoon rush had just tapered down so he took advantage of the next to empty café to clean as much as he could before closing for the evening.

“It’s 20 degrees outside, how are people still wanting frozen drinks.” he murmurs to himself, placing the blender back in its spot. Levi turns to the front counter and slings the towel he was using to dry things onto his shoulder.

His best friend, roommate, and business partner could be seen restocking some books on tall shelves, a gentle smile lighting up his boyish features. It’s been about a year and a half since they started this business venture together and they had no idea at the time how successful their bookstore-café combo would be in this small town.

Erwin’s thirst for knowledge kept their shelves as variable as ever while Levi’s love for perfecting the art of tea kept the drinks flowing. The problem, however, was Levi’s lack of people skills. He was seldom seen at the register, nor would you ever see him smile or talk to the customers. He often would leave you with a grunt and a swift turn after handing off the drinks.

No, for that, they had hired a couple of local highschoolers to do the facing work.

“Mr. Smith, Levi?” a soft voice rang out to the left of him. Levi shifted his attention to a taller girl with shoulder length raven hair standing next to him. Being as Mikasa is his cousin, they found early on how weird it was to be called ‘Mr. Ackerman’ as they shared the same surname. It was this connection too that got them to where they are today.

“Would it be okay if Eren and I take off a little early tonight? We have some big tests coming up and we’d like to take some extra time to study.” Mikasa shifted her dark eyes to the darkening windows as the sun set just over the horizon. Pinks and oranges flooded the partially clouded skies.

”Tch.” Levi could not help but roll his eyes. He raised a brow at her and leaned back against the counter behind him for support. “Sure, I guess,” he continues. “But do you really need it or is it for that blockhead?”

As if summoned by his words, Eren comes up from behind Mikasa and wraps a red scarf around his girlfriend’s neck, both of their jackets hanging off one of his arms. Eren is a good kid, always on time and followed directions, but the amount of sass he held in his body was something else. Levi and Erwin did not mind though, as he added a certain energy in the café that the customers seemed to enjoy. The two men wouldn’t say it out loud, but they really appreciated having them both on the team.

“Hey, I heard that. And yes, I need to study desperately. Econ is so hard and for what?!” Eren’s teal eyes widened for emphasis. To add to it he even put on a fake pout.

“I-”

“Just take the trash with you on the way out and you’re good to go.” Erwin piped up from behind a bookshelf.

Mikasa nodded in acknowledgement towards the voice, a silent thank you. Like Levi, she was not one for many words. He once thought it was an Ackerman thing but then he thought back to his annoying uncle and changed his mind quickly.

With that, she and Eren both untangled the aprons from their bodies, grabbed their belongings, and picked up the trash bags that were already taken out of the cans. They opted to leave through the back since the dumpsters were located that way. Again, Levi wouldn’t say it to anyone out loud, but he really did like those kids.

Erwin could be heard stacking more books into the shelves which left Levi to polish the counters again. It was the last hour before they closed so it stayed quiet for the most part, only interrupted by the sounds of scuffling shoes and books being placed on hard surfaces. Light jazz filled the rest of the silence. Then the bell signifying new customers rang from the front.

“Levi, can you grab that?”

The raven-haired man just huffed in response then stepped over to the register. His eyes fell on two figures right in front of him. A frazzled brunette and... you.

Due to the season, you are bundled up in a thick parka and knitted beanie. A big scarf wraps around your neck and face so that all Levi could see is your flushed cheeks and thick lashed eyes. Truthfully, you reminded him of a marshmallow.

“What’ll it be?” he asks, deadpan. The brunette is the one to respond, the voice loud enough to make him wince.

“Hmmm... well one English breakfast tea latte with lots of room for sugar aaaaand I’ll take a peppermint hot chocolate. Oh, and extra whip! We’ll drink it here.” She fished out a card with a dramatic thwip and handed it to Levi’s outstretched hand. Their café is one of those where if you were to stay, they offered washable cup ware as to keep the prices down on disposable cups. Not to mention the lessened ‘environmental impact’ as Erwin would say.

Levi glances at you before turning to make both orders. You give a small wave and smile a little, but he was already working quickly on the drinks.

He went into autopilot as he steeped the tea and steamed the milk. He really appreciated customers that ordered anything outside of coffee, especially when it came to tea. It’s not that he hated coffee, though it’s not like he liked it either, but it just wasn’t his thing. Coffee offered a different kind of bitterness that he wasn’t very fond of. With extra whipped cream in one and extra space in the other, he whirled around to place the drinks on the counter.

The one with glasses is the one that picks them up and they promptly walk in the direction of where you currently sit, one of the tables in the back corner by the window. You were stripped of your big parka and scarf, though the beanie stayed. Your eyes were wandering around the café in wonder, and Levi was pretty sure this had to be your first time here. But truthfully, he wouldn’t know, he didn’t make it his business to know his customers. That was Erwin’s and the kids’ job.

“The shelves are full and I’m exhausted.” Erwin came around the counter with a couple of empty boxes in his arms, heading straight for the back to the dumpster. Levi stepped back and leaned against the counter once again, his own black tea that had steeped while making yours cradled in his fingertips. He kept looking at his only customers while he sipped the black liquid. The teacup almost slipped out of his grip as he saw you dumping a large amount of sugar into your cup.

There you sit, extremely focused on the cup in front of you and lips pressed together tightly, almost as if you were afraid you’d put in too much. The sight would have been funny if you hadn’t just ruined your entire tea, he thinks to himself. You smile to yourself in satisfaction and put the sugar jar back where it came from. While you stir the sweetener in gently, the brunette in front of you talks animatedly. Hands were flying everywhere, and Levi could practically feel the energy radiating from the corner of the room. You were doing the same, silently laughing.

Suddenly the front door flew open, the bell ringing loudly with it. Levi grits his teeth, steeling himself for yet another customer interaction. But his shoulders dropped in relief at the sight of only Carly, Erwin’s girlfriend. She saunters up to the counter with a big smile aimed towards Levi and without even asking she slid behind the bar. Erwin had already made it from the back and was in the process of putting away the leftover ingredients from the day. Carly wraps her arms around her boyfriend and plants a big kiss on his face, to which Levi quickly looks away. It wasn’t weird for her to come in right as they were about to close.

What was weird, he thought, was the shock that flooded your face as you eyed the very public display of affection. Levi knit his brows in confusion as the brunette pivoted in her seat to see what you were staring at. Their face fell, any evidence of a good time completely erased.

“Carly?”

The person in question whipped around so fast at the voice and the panic that exuded from her was palpable. She quickly unwrapped herself from Erwin’s embrace.

“Hange.”

If it wasn’t for the jazz in the background, the lengthy silence that followed would have been deathly.

Carly clears her throat and laughs awkwardly.

“Uh, why are you here?”

The person named Hange just lifts their hot chocolate cup awkwardly, not really saying anything. Their eyes shift between Carly and Erwin, clearly understanding what had happened.

“I-I’m sorry, you guys know each other?” Erwin sounds cautious, like he already knew the answer. Of course, he would, he isn’t dumb. His piercing blue eyes survey the situation, going back and forth between the two.

“Well, uh. I-” Carly stutters, clearly at a loss of what to say in the predicament she found herself in.

“She’s my girlfriend.” Hange claims calmly.

This admission makes Erwin sigh heavily, confirming what he had pieced together. Levi stared at him in bewilderment as the man just chuckled quietly.

“Well. I suppose that’s it then.” And with that he turns on his heel and stalks off to the back room.

“Wait, Erwin I can explain!” She follows right on his heels and disappears into the back room as well. A minute later you can hear hysterical crying and calm retorts reverberating from the back. If Levi could shrink into the cabinets to get out of this situation, he would. Instead, he focuses on the other party who were having a very quiet and rushed discussion. Well, a one-sided discussion, as he only heard one voice.

Levi, realizing it was almost time to close anyways, rushes to close the distance between him and the front door. He really did not want to have to deal with other customers while the drama unfurled. So, he flips the door sign to ‘Closed’ and unplugs the ‘Open’ neon sign hanging in the window. A couple walks by about to open the door, probably out for a café date from the looks of it. But they were only met with a dead stare from the sharpest eyes they’d ever seen. With that, they briskly turned around and left down the sidewalk.

Levi spins around and from here he gets a better look at the two trapped customers. You were moving your hands all over the place like you were earlier. But with an even closer look he realizes you weren’t just talking animatedly with your hands; you were talking with them. You were signing.

You reacted to your partner’s conversation just fine, so it was clear you had some sort of hearing. Your scarf now hung loose around your shoulders, and it looked like you had tears brimming in your eyes. Levi swiftly walks back to the counter; this is obviously not a conversation he needed to be a part of.

“Hey, don’t worry about me. It’s only been a couple of months. Really, it’s better to find out now than 3 years from now.” They laughed without humor. You know when Hange was saving face for your sake, she was never as sly as she thought she was.

‘You don’t need to be strong right now.’ You sign then reach your hand out to touch her cheek softly. Physical touch had become your second language early on, if only to emphasize. Fortunately, Hange was okay with that and often embraced it with open arms.

“I know, my little strawberry. I just need some time to process everything.” They pat you on the head lightly with a small grin. You swat their hands, blushing at the nickname you were so graciously given so many years ago. But you nod back, knowing they would not change their mind.

The tall blonde glides through the back door, alone. His face was grim as he tugged loose the tie around his neck.

“Hange, was it?” He started walking towards you and your very startled sister.

“U-uh yeah. That’s my name! Listen I had no idea, I’m so sorry. I would have said something obviously but-”, they take a deep breath. “I’m sorry. What’s your name again?”

“Erwin Smith. There is nothing to apologize for as I can only assume there’s only one blame to be given. I hate that we must meet under such a circumstance, but it is truly nice to meet you.” He raises a hand waiting for a handshake.

Hange takes it after a second of processing, shaking the hand vigorously with both hands.

“Well, unfortunately it is what it is. I’m sure Carly and I will be speaking soon. I’m assuming she’s not just hiding back there.” They flick their gaze to the back door he had just come through.

“Ah well, yes. Long gone... how long were you two...?”

“Only like, 3 months or so. You?”

He flinched at that and murmured, “3 Years.”

Thinking back to her comment not 10 minutes ago, Hange bit their cheek.

“Oh man I’m so sorry.”

“No, please. It’s alright. None of this is yours or my fault. We couldn’t have known, but now we do.” Erwin chuckled to himself. You wonder if he’s trying to save face the way your sister did. His gaze now shifts to you. He is a very handsome man. To your extreme surprise, he starts signing to you.

‘I'm sorry, who might you be? I noticed you signing earlier. I know a little from the books I have read.’ His crystal blue eyes sparkle at you as he signs. You can’t help but break out into a huge grin. You sign your name back and compliment him on his raw signing form.

‘I am of hearing, though. So please feel free to talk, and I will sign back.’ You clarify to Erwin, the smile not falling from your face.

“That sounds like a plan. Levi, stop hiding behind the counter and come say hi.” Erwin calls out, not bothering to look over his shoulder. You hear a grunt in response and not 10 seconds later, the barista stands cross armed next Erwin. He nods a hello to each of you.

You knew he was shorter than you, at least a couple inches, based off the interaction at the counter earlier. But seeing him side by side with his friend was almost comical. But as short stature as he was, it did not keep him from holding himself with such authority. It made you nervous.

‘Thank you for the tea, it was very good.’ You sign, your sister translating in real time for you.

“Tch, are you sure? I saw you dump enough sugar in it to make it syrup.” Levi retorts dryly.

That makes you smile sheepishly. His fixated stare unnerved you a little, but you stare back regardless. Now that he was closer, a glass case no longer between the both of you, your eyes traveled along his face in close inspection.

He’s beautiful, you think to yourself. His features are sharp and angled. Steely gray eyes pronounced a permanent exhausted look. It was a shade of gray you’ve never seen before, and they were mesmerizing. As if he could feel you staring holes in his face, he flicks his eyes to the side, clearly uncomfortable. But you can’t help it, because really the most intriguing thing about him was not his metallic eyes. It was the scars that marred his porcelain skin.

A couple of scars ran down the right side of his face. The prominent of the two trailed from the top right of his forehead all the way down to his chin, cutting into his right eye and both lips. You’re pretty sure his eye was quite damaged due to the slight muted discoloration of the eye color.

He’s beautiful, you repeat to yourself. You glance over to Hange, and they just look over at you with a knowing look. You know she was just begging to ask Levi too, but she just shakes her head. So, you fold your hands together and pinch your lips together.

“Well!” Hange yells out, breaking the silence. “This human really needs a drink. Let’s all go! Erwin, I demand you let me treat you to a couple drinks!” She wraps an arm around your shoulders and laughs.

“A drink sounds fantastic; I will gladly take you up on that offer. Let me just close up rea-” He’s cut off by Levi raising both of his hands up in protest. You notice the two missing fingers on his right hand. The pointer and middle were gone. Whatever this man went through, you just had to know. But you toss those questions onto an ever-growing pile and bite your cheek.

“Erwin, I can close up. You go ahead.” Your sister just smiles widely and practically jumped up and down. The blonde man just clapped his hand Levi’s shoulder and smiled at him.

“Thank you. You’ll join us after? The usual place?” Levi just shrugs his shoulders in response.

Part of you hoped he would. You couldn’t place a singular reason why though.

Fifteen minutes later, the three of you found yourselves in a well-lit and very crowded bar. Somehow Erwin had snagged a table near the back wall. Heavy rock blares loudly from a live band maybe 20 feet away. Overwhelming was an understatement, but you grit your teeth and sit down on one of the stools.

“Whatcha want, my darlings?!” Hange yells over the music, slapping both hands down on the table and staring at the both of you.

“Whiskey neat, whatever they offer is fine.”

You sign the words ‘apple’ and ‘juice’ followed by a ‘thank you’. You’ve never been one for a drink. While it was tolerable to be around, you’d rather not have to taste it if you could help it.

Looking around, you see all manners of people surrounding you. Something about it makes your stomach turn but you shift in your seat to quell it down. You’re sure it’s only so crowded because of the prospect of a Friday night and the promise of no plans the following day. The town of Jinae was not anything special, but it was quaint. You and your sister found out quickly it was a place where everyone knew mostly everyone. After only settling down here from your hometown 5 months ago, you were still learning of all the local spots.

From the looks of it, this bar was one of those. “The Scouts” was an inviting place, decorated with dark greens and wood tones. The walls were littered with many frames of a lot of different people. You imagine it might have been local residents in various locations of the town. All of the wood was worn down, so it was clear this place has been in business for a while. A neon sign hangs above the stage where the live band played, something that resembled blue and white wings. It makes you wonder what the significance is.

Your thoughts are disturbed as a glass is placed in front of you. Realizing the dryness in your throat, you pick up the glass and take a big swig of the amber liquid. You’re met with a burning sensation, and you gag. This alerts Hange of the unfortunate mistake.

“Ah I’m sorry my little strawberry!! They do look quite similar though, don’t they?” They switch the glasses quickly and laugh. You notice the very noticeable cup size differences between the two and you stare at her quizzically. “I may have taken a shot while at the bar, sorry.” she adds on. It makes you shake your head, but you grab her hand reassuringly and chuckle.

‘I’m sorry.’ You sign at Erwin, and he just smiles back.

“Not a problem. But I have to ask, how was it?” A bushy eyebrow raises at you in amusement.

You just stick your tongue out and make a gagging gesture at him. You laugh though, not really upset.

Two apple juices in, the live band ends. Hange and Erwin are very deep in conversation, which you suspect might be about Carly. You can’t really hear what’s being said though. With the absence of music, chatter quickly fills the air. Honestly it was really starting to get to you. So, after tapping on the pair’s shoulders and signing where you were going, you find yourself leaning over the guard rail just outside the bar’s door.

The sun was already far gone. A crescent moon sits high in the sky and a smatter of stars surrounds it. The cold air felt very welcome on your very flushed face. You exhale a big sigh, which garners a puff of steam. It makes you laugh so you do it again. Then you start to wonder how long you might be able to last out here before getting frostbite when suddenly a body starts leaning against the rail next to you.

With a start, you whip your head to face the newcomer. Instantly you relax at the sight of Erwin’s friend. He was adorned in a big peacoat and his casual slacks. A tan turtleneck sweater peaks out from the jacket’s collar. His face was flushed as well, no doubt from the cold.

Levi.

He wasn’t paying you any mind though, instead his gaze laid upon the sky above, at the stars. You wave at him anyways and offer a small smile. He glances at you with a side eye and returns a curt nod.

Not one for words.

So, you both stand there in silence, staring up at the twinkling lights above. It wasn’t uncomfortable in the slightest. Something about his presence radiated a sort of calm, and you were happy to bask in it.

After a few minutes, he shifts his weight in your direction, so you face him. He’s staring up at you and it makes you swallow hard. His eyes glowed silver from the moonlight. Truly you have never been this fascinated with a person until now.

“You like the stars.” It wasn’t a question, more like a statement.

You nod in agreement, smiling to emphasize your love for them. He purses his lips at that. It seemed as if he wanted to say something else to that, but nothing came out. It just makes you frown a bit. You just have more questions that keep piling up. Everything about him just emanated mystery and it made you want to know all about him.

‘Are you okay?’ You sign to him, exaggerating your frown to show your concern. You’re only met with a look of confusion. You forget that he does not know much if any sign. And you kick yourself for leaving your communication tools at home. To be fair though, this is not where you expected to be tonight.

You then get an idea to use your phone to type to him but before you even reach into your pocket, you’re interrupted by a sudden blast of warm air as a couple stumbles out of the bar, both in a giggling fit as they cling to each other. They take off down the road, laughing even harder. The brief warm air makes you shiver, reminding you of the cold outside.

As if thinking the same thing, Levi catches the door before it closes and holds it open for the both of you. You’re suddenly well aware of the very loud singing happening from within and your eyes widen at the familiarity of one of the voices. You and Levi make your way to the voices and are greeted with the sight of Erwin and Hange duetting a Backstreet Boys song.

What a sight it was. The tall brunette, face flushed and glasses askew, had their arm around Erwin. He his blonde hair was quite tousled, and he looked like he was having the time of his life. They both swayed together as they belted out the lyrics. As if their smiles were contagious, you felt yourself grin. It was kind of cute. So, you pull out your phone and snap a quick picture, sure to show Hange in the morning. It was a good thing too, because the song ends right as you put your phone away in your bag. Levi clicks his tongue and huffs. You glance over at the noise and notice a small upturn to the corner of his scarred mouth. Noticing your gaze, his face vacates itself from any emotion as he stares back ahead.

“Oi! Eyebrows!” He calls out to his friend. Levi starts making his way to the stage, walking with a slight limp. Yet another question to add onto the pile. “I’m gone for 45 minutes and you’re already singing.”

“I’m fine! Just a couple drinks in.”

You all make your way to the table you had laid claim to earlier. You survey the table and count at least 6 more glasses, not counting your two. It was hard to see who drank what.

‘Are you okay?’ You sign to your sister, concern etched on your face. They just nod lazily and give a thumbs up with both hands. Levi is regarding you with a look of understanding, and it seems he realized that you had asked him outside. Music starts playing over the speakers again, and people start making their way to the dance floor. Hange squeals and downs the rest of her drink quickly.

“Erwin let’s go!” She grabs his arm, not waiting for a response. He gives a mock salute to the two of you and follows without question. Levi just clicks his tongue again and heads to the bar to get himself something. So, you plop yourself down on the stool and stare out into the room. Out of nervous habit you start fidgeting with the napkins in front of you. A moment later, Levi’s hobbling over with a tray of drinks.

“I got the idiots some water, they look like they need it.” He places the glasses down with a thud, including one of his own housing some sort of caramel liquid. Then he’s sliding something over to you and you’re about to protest that you don’t drink but you realize it’s not a glass. It’s a notepad and pen.

“If you need something, this might come in handy.” is all he says.

You’re quick to show your appreciation with a bright smile. You also note to yourself that you could have very well have used your phone to communicate but you were not one to disregard someone’s thoughtfulness. It makes something bloom in your chest, warm and comforting.

Your many years of not having a phone of course meant writing – a lot. Your handwriting evolved plenty with time so that meant it was extremely neat. It had to have been so that the reader would be able to read it without an issue.

First you write your name, as you realize no one had really said it out loud while at the teashop. Following that you add ‘I think your shop is wonderful, and I really did enjoy the tea you made.’ You also want to jot down the questions from earlier that were still swimming in your mind, but you hold yourself back. You tell yourself maybe later, granted if there would even be a later.

When angling the paper so he could see it, his eyes flit across the words quickly and you’re given a grunt in acknowledgement. Pulling back the notepad, you bite the inside of your cheek. While it wasn’t awkward being next to him, he sure made it hard to talk to. His cold demeanor gave you the feeling he wasn’t the type to talk about himself, especially with someone he just met. So, asking questions about him or his life was out the window. Likewise, he did not really seem interested in hearing your life story, not like you were planning to spill it anyways for fear of being met with disdain. You had plenty of experiences with that growing up.

Tapping the pen against your chin, your eyes drift around the bar room. There a multitude of people lingering about, shouting over each other to be heard. A couple sits in a corner, whispering who knows what to each other. Both of their cheeks are flushed and eyes heavy with lust. A handful of people are on the dance floor grinding away, your sister and new friend sticking out like a sore thumb as they dance with reckless abandon. All of this gave you an idea, remembering something you’ve read before many moons ago. You start scrawling on the paper again.

‘Are you a gambling man, Levi?’

You shift the pad back over to him and he glances down again after taking another sip of his spirit. He was holding his glass in a way you’d never seen before and honestly it was a little weird.

“Tch, hardly. Why do you ask?” He looks hard at you as you scratch something else down.

‘I propose a game to pass the time. Let’s make some bets about the random people in this room.’

He looks at you incredulously. You stand your ground, not averting your gaze even a little. When you don’t back down, he just scoffs and shakes his head at you.

“I literally could not care less about these people,” he clicks his tongue. “But I suppose there’s not much else to do so I’ll bite.” Knocking back the rest of his drink, he moves around you to lean back against the wall so that he is facing the rest of the crowd. You shift so that you are doing the same. You don’t overlook the proximity to the shorter man, nor the fact that your arms are almost touching. You start to scribble once more.

‘Winner gets to ask the loser one question.’ As his eyes fall on your words, he seems a little taken aback. Levi seems to think for a moment, like he’s weighing his pros and cons.

“One non-personal question.” He amends. You both nod in agreement. So, your eyes travel around the room, looking for your first target. It falls on a group not so far away.

‘I bet that gaggle of young girls over there are here for a bridal party.’

You point in the direction of the said group. Currently they were taking tequila shots, lime and all. All of them sparkled and were dressed up to the nines, save for the silly little hats adorning their heads. And they were having so much fun.

“No way,” Levi scoffs, “That has to be a 21st birthday. They all look like babies.”

Suddenly someone comes through a parting in the crowd with a tray of assorted colorful drinks garnished with cute little accessories. They all yell in excitement at the sight. One of the girls raises her glass and starts shouting.

“To Estelle! May your married life be full of infinite love, happiness, and orgasms!” They all cheer and take big gulps of their drinks, followed by more giggling.

Levi glances art you, his gray eyes dull in the dim bar light. An eyebrow lifts at you as well.

“How did you know?”

You do a sweeping gesture starting from one shoulder down to the opposite hip. He looks back over to the women and conveniently the soon-to-be-bride had faced your direction. She was indeed wearing a white sash sporting the word ‘BRIDE’ in bright pink letters. He huffs as he rolls his eyes, and you smirk at him in return. You press the pad over to him, already equipped with your question.

Levi scoffs at your question. As promised, it wasn’t very personal. You figured ice breaker like questions were a good start. But his pause made you question if this was a good idea, you didn’t want to run him off or make him uncomfortable. Then he clicks his tongue, and his face softens ever so slightly.

“My favorite hobby, huh? It would have to be cleaning.” He simply states.

Cleaning?

‘Like mopping, dusting, all that jazz?’

“Yeah, it brings me peace. I like the control. Plus, I can't stand filthy things, people, or places. It’s repugnant.” He scrunches his nose at the last statement. A laugh bubbles up and you can’t help but let it loose. You’re shot with a glare and a sharp tone.

“Funny?”

You shake your head no and smile lightly while your hands move adeptly on the pad.

‘Not funny, just amusing because it’s not something I would have expected. It’s different. If it makes you happy then it is an admirable hobby.’

Levi’s looking away from you now. If it wasn’t so dim, you would have seen there was a light dusting of pink color his cheeks and ears. He clears his throat and scans the room for his victim. His eyes land on the couple in the back corner whispering to each other. He notices their not-so-subtle hand movements as they felt each other up. Nodding in their direction, he looks back over to you, leaning close so you can hear.

“I bet that couple will get up in the next 3 minutes and excuse themselves to somewhere private.” Your eyes travel in that direction, only to look away hastily at such an intimate scene. You’re not able to think of a counter-bet because honestly, you’re thinking the same thing. Your eyes settle back to his face, but he’s already looking back at the couple. If he noticed you staring, he didn’t say. Suddenly his face is filled with a satisfied look, only to be replaced quickly with a look of horror. You follow his gaze again, afraid of what you might see.

Fortunately, it’s nothing risqué, as you catch the tail end of the couple slipping into one of the public, unmarked restrooms. But the thought of their future actions was enough to gross you out. Looking back at Levi, you scrunch your face up in disgust. He nods in understanding.

“This is why we don’t use public restrooms, especially in a bar.” He pinches the bridge of his nose with his good hand. “When I said somewhere private, I meant like a residence or something. Filthy animals, unbelievable. They better scrub that bathroom down. Maybe I should tell the bartender when they’re done. Maybe I should help clean.”

His retorts crack you up, your shoulders bouncing from silent laughter. He just stares at you impassively as he runs his fingers through his hair to get it out of his face.

“Well, it’s not like we should ruin their fun. Anyways I suppose I won. Let’s see... what’s your favorite color?”

You part your lips, dumbfounded. This was never an easy question, as you found joy in a lot of different colors. You bite your lip and start writing, but after a couple minutes Levi rips the pad from your hands out of impatience.

salmon

turquoise?

canary yellow!

orange

dark forest gre-

He just looks at you in alarm.

“Just pick one.” he scolds.

You snatch the pad back and scribble down, ‘It’s not that simple!’

“It is to me. White, easy.” You just stare right back at him, not believing what you just heard. Out of all the many shades and hues out there, this man decides the color white.

‘Why?’

“It’s clean.” is the only response you get.

It makes sense, you think. But seriously, this man was so weird. But like you said earlier, it was different and that made it refreshing to you. You start searching for your next bet.

As if in a scene from a movie you’ve seen a dozen times came to life, your eyes snap to a lone woman sitting at the bar, nursing a drink and playing on her phone. A couple seats down, you spot a few men chatting. One of the men is staring hard at the very oblivious woman. You nudge Levi with your elbow, not unnoticing the slight flinch from your touch. You point to the scene, and he is quick to understand.

“I bet when he walks over to her, she’ll get up and leave.” He says confidently.

Trusting your instincts, you scrawl back quickly as you notice the man started making his way towards the woman. Sticking your tongue out at him, you angle the pad to him so he could see.

‘Absolutely not. She’ll tell him off right away.’

To both yours and his surprise, not one moment later she throws the rest of her drink contents onto the man’s head. She gathers her belongings, throws a wad of bills on to the bar, then stomps out of the establishment. The rejected man staggers back to his friends, and they applaud him for his supposed gall. This event left you both stunned. There’s a moment of pause where you and Levi just stare at each other before all hell breaks loose as he starts talking and you start scribbling furiously.

“She walked away, I win.”

‘She threw that drink on him, that’s practically telling him off. And that happened before any walking off.’

“That hardly counts, no words were used.” He scoffs and folds his arms across his chest as he stares hard at you. You weren’t sure if the indignation was real or not, but it was evident in his face.

‘Words are not always needed to convey intent.’ You shoot back at him, shifting your weight to tap your foot defiantly. You would know this of course.

This makes Levi pause. He opens his mouth to say something but then Erwin and Hange came crashing into the little bubble you two had made. Suddenly the sounds of clinking glasses and mindless chatter came rushing in and you took a step back.

“Um, I think Hange might have had a little too much tonight.” Erwin says, to which your attention is drawn to a very drunk Hange. They were a blubbering, sobbing mess. Whining about things that ranged from Carly to her work stress and everything in between. Your sister rarely got this drunk, but you imagine the events from earlier might have been her breaking point. This was a sign to get her home.

You hastily round the table to wrap her arm around you and prop her up. Then after whipping a $20 out of your purse and throwing it on the table in front of the boys, you give them a grateful smile and sign to Erwin.

‘Thank you both for tonight. She and I had a lot of fun. But I need to get her home before she gets worse.’ As if on cue, they let out a loud wail and start sobbing into your shoulder. You shift your body to hold them closer so that you don’t drop them. Erwin grabs your $20 and shoves it back in your purse before zipping it up. He had left you no time to protest as he places a large hand on your shoulder and stares intensely at you.

“Please, let me take care of this. Tell them this was an exceptional time. And to please stop by the café again, we owe each a good, sober talk.” His bright blue eyes crinkled in the corners as he smiled at you warmly. “It was a pleasure meeting you too. I hope you join Hange on the café visits as well. I think Levi has warmed up to you just nicely.” He wiggles an eyebrow at his friend. Levi just shoves him back and rolls his eyes.

“Tch, fuck off. She’s alright, I guess.” He’s staring at you now, not as cold as before. “You owe me an answer next time we meet.”

You purse your lips at him and shake your head in disagreement.

‘I totally won that, don’t even think otherwise.’ You jot down lazily on the notepad still on the table. It wasn’t as neat, but you were propping up a whole human, you couldn’t help it.

“Are you sure you’re safe to get home okay? We can he-” You cut Erwin off with a wave of the hand. Their spot of choice was actually very lucky, as you only live a few minutes away. And to be honest, you needed the cold air. So, you sign a quick goodbye to your new friends and make your way out.

Walking down the snowy sidewalk, you pat Hange’s head as she grumbles about random things. She opted to walk herself, but you kept your hand in theirs to lead them in the right direction. She only stumbled a few times but overall, you were able to keep a steady pace. You note that before you left, her glass of water had been untouched, so you make a mental reminder to hydrate her before throwing her in bed.

‘Alcohol was not kind to those in their 30s’ you heard their voice say in the back of your mind.

As your steps left crunching noises in their wake, you peer up at the moon and glittering stars. A certain raven-haired and silver-eyed man etched in your brain. You wonder how soon it will be before seeing him again.

‘Levi’ you sign to yourself with a free hand. A smile cemented to your face the whole way home.

☾ Next Chapter: December

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soapssuds · 1 year ago

Text

Infinity

Yandere ! Gojo Satoru x Female ! Reader

Part 3 | my world

Warnings | death , depictions of blood , jealousy , executions

Notes | this fic will be using she/her pronouns for y/n. Also this is a reincarnation fic, so Gojo's name will not be "Satoru" in this part. And please let me know if you want to be in a taglist for this series !! ^-^

Summary | And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.

Infinity Masterlist

year 1102 AD

GOJO SHIRO got to meet y/n's friends that day. And to say the least, he wasn't impressed. He came to meet with them almost everyday after that for four months straight. But no matter how much he hung with them... he didn't care for them a single bit. And to be honest, they seemed to like bullying y/n more than actually playing fun games. Hell, during a simple game of hide-n-seek where y/n was the seeker her so called friends tried to get him to ditch her while she counted.

"Come on, come on! We have a lot of cool stuff to show you, Shiro!"

"What about y/n? She's still counting."

One of the girls snickered unto her palm, "that dummy can't even count to two. Last time she was the seeker, she was literally there counting for a whole five minutes!"

Gojo frowned, "its not her fault she can't count as good as you or me-"

"Duh, that's because she's stupid and poor! We only let her play with us cause her mom bakes us sweets from time to time, but even that is starting to not even be worth it," a boy of the group piped up this time.

And the others joined in.

And Gojo had enough of it, "be quiet already. Who gave you all permission to cut me off?"

The laughter was quick to die down and one of the girls was quick to speak up, hurt laced in her voice.

"Come on, Shiro. We're just having fun, and we didn't mean to cut you off while you were talking. So how about we go and-"

"I said to be quiet, or are you peasants too stupid to understand an order from your future lord?"

The girl said nothing else as Gojo crossed his arms over his chest, "also, you all will refer to me as Lord Gojo from now on because last time I checked I only ever gave Y/n permission to call me Shiro. The only reason why I let you all call me Shiro when we first met four months ago was because you all seemed to be friends with y/n. Though, it looks like I was wrong."

Gojo looked away from the other children and focused his piercing blue eyes onto y/n's figure. She was covering her eyes with her arms, head pressed into the tree's trunk as she hunched over a little and still continued to count. The sight made him smile a little before his face hardened when he turned a glare back onto the group.

"Now that I made that clear, I don't want any of you to speak to me or to y/n again. Understand?"

No one spoke up so he activated his cursed technique. A blue wave seeming to coat around him as he took a step towards them.

"Do. You. Understand?"

"Y- yes, Lord Gojo!"

They seemed to yell in unison as they scurried off to who knows where and frankly, he didn't care. All that mattered to him now was that he would get to be with y/n without the extra tagalongs. Honeslty, he wished he did that four months ago right at the moment he met those other kids. But alas, he didn't want to scare y/n away.

So, smiling happily and skipping over to the still counting girl. He had tackled her into a hug from behind. His arms gently wrapping around her waist as he roughly pulled her against him. Her back pressing snuggly into his chest.

Goodness he wished they were older. He wished they were married. He wished they were already together and living happily in his big estate.

But that would have to wait. For now, he was content with being a very touchy and huggy friend.

"Wha- hey! S- Shiro! What are you doing?! You're supposed to be hiding!"

She whined and pouted and hit at his arms as he spun her around in his embrace.

"No way! Hiding is so boring! Hugging you seems way more fun!"

She whined again and turned in his grasp. Her face tilting up as she tried to glare at him, but to Gojo she just looked too cute while trying to be angry. It made him want to pinch her cheeks which was exactly what he did when he let her go.

"Uwahhh! Shiroooo!"

He couldn't help but to laugh and when he finally let go of her chubby cheeks, she started to laugh too. The both of them shoving and pushing at each other until they were falling to the ground and having fun.

Gojo feverishly wished he had this back in his first life. Wished he found her sooner back then. But this would do. He could be content with this.

And as night fell, the two would wander around the city until they came upon a lake. Gojo childishly pushing her as she would fall to the ground on her back and he would follow. The two smiling at one another as the dark sky and stars and moon hung above them.

"You know Shiro.."

"Hmm?"

He turned on his side and propped up on his elbow. His cheek resting in his hand.

"You remind me of the moon!"

"The moon," he questioned, "but what of the sun! Thats much brighter!"

She shook her head, "mm, at first you were the sun.. someone I couldn't even look at without getting blinded, but..," she grinned and lunged for him. Her arms wrapping around his neck as she tackled him into a hug, "but when I got to know you over these past few months I realized you were more like the moon! Still untouchable and impossible to reach, but someone I can look at and admire without getting blinded!"

He was surprised by the hug, her explanation, and the heat creeping up onto his face. His arms were quick to encircle her waist as he hugged her back.

"Well.. if I'm the moon then you can be the earth!"

"Huh?! Why am I the earth all the sudden?!"

She pouted as she looked at him and he couldn't stop his grin from forming, "cause i want you to be the world i revolve around forever and ever!"

She let his words sink in before giggling, the two resuming their playful pushing, shoving, and tickling as they rolled on the ground like two kids rough-housing.

"Ok! You can be my moon and I can your world! Deal?"

"Deal!"

Yeah, Gojo wanted this to last.

However, he realized his mistake a bit too late. Because in the next few days. She would be gone.

Well, he didn't realize she was gone at first. In fact, that next morning he woke up on the good side of the bed. He was smiling and thinking of yesterday where it was just him and y/n and no other kids ruining their moments together.

"Are you going out again young lord?"

Urumei asked him like she always did, she was, of course, his retainer. When she first took on the job, she thought it would be hard watching over the young lord since he had the six eyes and the biggest ego to boot. However, overtime she noticed that once you leave the young lord alone and let him go on about his business - he is actually quite easy to handle.

"Indeed!"

Urumei smiled politely, "are you going to see y/n again?"

"As always."

Urumei bowed, "with all due respect, young lord, but why don't you bring her to the estate?"

Gojo seemed to pause as his eyes flicked over to Urumei. The retainer internally panicking as she wondered if she overstepped her bounds.

But her panic was soon eased away as Gojo clapped his hands together. A bright smile overtaking his features, "thats a great idea! I could bring her here, let her bathe properly, get her dressed in a fine kimono too, and maybe she could even stay the night!"

Gojo was estactic as he rushed out of the compound, "see you later, Urumei!"

As he ran along the streets, he easily spotted the girl he was looking for.

"Y/n!"

Turning to the sound of her name, she immediately dropped what she was doing and ran to him. Her arm coming up high into the air as she waved to him, "hiiiiii Shiiiiiirrroooooo!"

She drawled out his name, a habit she started to do everytime she would greet him in the mornings when they were still far from each other. And it was a habit Shiro cherished greatly.

Coming up fast, he immediately engulfed her into his arms. Honestly, holding her so close was starting to get addictive.

And when he brought her in, she was already laughing when he spun them around. Many of the onlookers could only chuckle at the cute display before going on about their business. I mean, the twelve year old was still the next head of the Gojo clan and the next lord of the land. Of course no one would dare interrupt them.

After a for more seconds, he had finally set her down. Her smile to on her face as she seemed to get shy all of a sudden. His six eyes quickly catching on to the change in demeanor.

"Oh? Getting shy again?"

He pouted, "and here i thought we were past all that.."

She panicked for a moment as she waved her hands in front of her, "its not that! It's just .. well ..," she kicked her bare foot against the ground. Ever since he met her, he took notice how she never worn any shoes and that she only had three kimonos that she went through on a cycle. He hated seeing her live in such a way, but he needed to become a lord first in and the clan's head if he hopped to marry her and give her the life and luxury she deserved.

"Well," he urged politely as they moved over to the side more so they weren't blocking the street.

"Today is my .. twelfth birthday and I was wondering .. if you would like to come to my house? Its ok if you don't want to of course, I tried to ask our other friends, but they all declined."

She looked at him for a response but froze internally when he had a blank look on his face. Ah- was i not supposed to ask him?! Were we not on a close enough friend level that I could ask him to come to my brithday?!

"Y/n," he pouted again, "why didn't you tell me today was going to be your birthday?! I would of gotten you something!"

She was quick to shake her head from side to side, "n- no! No way! You're my friend, i could never ask you to get me anything! Besides, I..I didn't befriend you cause I wanted you to get me things.. I- I befriended you cause I," she paused and smiled, "cause you looked lonely and needed a friend!"

An invisible arrow was aimed and shot precisely through his heart.

"Uwah, you're so sweet!"

He immediately glomped her and started to pinch her cheeks.

"Wha-?! Shiiiiroooo! Not in front of everyone!"

And just the like, bringing y/n to the estate was thrown out the window as he let her take control of the day and basically let her tug him around the whole city. Her eyes wide as she pointed at a various of things. Her laughter like music to his ears.

He even got to meet her mother at the end. She was a kind woman though she looked just as tired as her daughter on some days. Though, she still managed to smile and present them both with a cake from the shop she managed to run on her own.

And when the day came to an end, Gojo promised to see her tomorrow.

Though, tomorrow for y/n, he would soon learn, would never come.

The next day, he held a box in hand. In it was a perfectly crafted wooden comb with a pretty blue flower design etched onto it which he had bought last night on the way home in hopes of gifting it to y/n today. Granted, he knows she said she didn't want him to buy anything, but he couldn't help himself. He truly couldn't. He wanted to gift her the whole city (which he technically could one day once he becomes the lord of the land..).

"Young lord, off to see y/n again?"

"As always," Gojo replied as per usual.

Urumei grinned and nodded, "I was under the impression that you would bring her to the estate yesterday, why the change of heart, young lord?"

Gojo stopped and turned to the retainer, "well, yesterday was her birthday, so I decided to let her choose what she wanted to do today instead if dragging her to a place she's never been before."

Urumei chuckled and noted the small wooden box in his hands, "is that why you're gifting her that present?"

"Yep! She said she didn't want anything, but I couldn't help myself. Anyway, I'll see you later Urumei!"

"Of course, young lord. Be sure to have fun!"

"I will!"

Now as he walked the streets, box in hand, he noticed that she wasn't in their usual waiting spot. Which was odd. And as impatient as he is, Shiro decided to just head straight for her house which he had memorized the day prior.

Coming up to the house, he couldn't help but to get a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach as he saw a crowd of people gathered in front of the place. His eyes narrowed, his lips pressed into a tight line. He threw the feeling away and told himself y/n will be just fine. Ill see her smiling at me like any other day.

Though as he ordered the throngs of people to move out of his way, he was instead met with a gruesome sight instead.

Four children, y/n's bullies, were being held tightly by two jujutsu sorcerers and in front of them was y/n. Stab wounds littering her body as she laid dead in a pool of her own blood. Her mother was crying loud as she cradled y/n's limp hand in her own grasp. Her tears flowing like a river.

The blood on the ground started to seep closer to him as if reaching out to him.

His shoes got stained red when he moved forward to get closer and as reality set in the same silent rage from his first life finally took over.

"What happened."

It was a question, but a demand.

One of the jujutsu sorcerers spoke first, "we got a report saying that a little girl was screaming and being attacked. We originally thought it was a cursed spirit, but found these four having killed the girl."

Gojo turned to y/n's mother who was still weeping. She must of heard the news and came rushing from work because from what he understood, y/n's mother always left early for work to start cooking at the bakery in the city. Which meant that y/n would be all alone. Perfect to be ambushed by these four.

His six eyes, brilliant, dangerous, and a heavy blue was finally directed at the four children.

"Why?"

He didn't need to ask, because he already knew. They most likely saw y/n as filth. Trash that shouldn't be anywhere near him. When were people going to learn to never cross him?

"We-"

"Silence. I changed my mind, I don't want to hear the excuses you four come up with. You two, let go of them."

The two sorcerers bowed and listened to Gojo immediately. The four twelve year old before him gaining a sort of hope in their eyes. But he wasn't having it as he raised his hands.

"Be grateful, your deaths will be quick."

And that was when realization dawned on them, but it was too late for them to run.

"Hollow purple."

It wasn't everyday the Gojo clan carried out public executions, but even so, no one dared ask why four twelve years died because of the murder of some no name girl.

And that night, after he and y/n's mother gave y/n a proper burial, Gojo Shiro promised to see her in the next life. He clutched the comb close to his chest.

He and y/n just had to be reincarnated again, right?

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gojo satoru #gojo #female reader #yandere #yandere gojo satoru #yandere gojo #yandere satoru gojo #yandere gojo satoru x reader #satoru x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #satoru gojo x y/n #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x you

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fishii-writes · 7 days ago

Note

Hi there!! Congrats on 100 followers! I'm here for the event =3 it's a bit early since it's November 18th, but I hope you don't mind since I don't wanna end up forgetting to do it tomorrow-

Preferred name: Sabrina

Pronouns: she/her

Fictional other: Yamaguchi Tadashi <3

Trope: Street-smart criminal(can I be the criminal pls-) x the random cutie who hid them from the police

Other info: ok so idk what song to base this off of, best I can do is Paper Planes by M.I.A. if that helps =3

thank you, have a great day!! =)

paring: yamaguchi x gn!reader

contains: headcanons

cw:

a/n: thank you for entering my event! i wrote most of this in class today 🥀🥀 but hehe hope u enjoy :3 this lwk sucks im sorry 🙁

word count: 740

how you met:

you’re running from the police. woah most creative introduction 🤯

you don’t look over your shoulder, you can’t risk being caught now

i mean, it was just a harmless prank, its not like. someone got hurt. mhm!

you can hear the police officers’ voices yelling out for you to stop running

you spot an alley way, one that most likely leads to some abandoned shops

you take a few random right turns, then one left to confuse the police following you

then you quickly run into the alleyway, using you hand on a pole to smoothly turn into the alleyway

but you. grab the wrong thing

instead of keeping up your pace by smoothly turning using a pole

you trip face first onto the concrete

and a person falls on top of you

you groan, quickly trying to get up to check if the police were behind you

but you can’t get up. there’s a dude on top of you

you sigh, nudging him to stand up. he stands up, sheepishly offering his hand for you to use

“sorry…” he apologises as you brush your clothes off

“what? why? its fine. and sorry” you say, turning to keep running since you could hear the police again

“ah! wait!” he grabs your wrist just before you can start running off

“what?” you snap, making him let go of you wrist out of fear

“sorry! but you’re bleeding, please let me treat your injuries, cus you tripped over me!!” he bows his head down and says his words quickly

you sigh. well, you’re already on the run. might as well let the boy help you

who fell first?

you let him lead you to one of the abandoned shops, he finds an old first aid kit

you sit down somewhere the windows aren't directly in front of you

he sits down in front of you, holding out his hand for you to put your arm on

you hesitantly do, and he gently dabs a cotton bud with some disinfectant on it, on your wound

you wince. he frowns and apologises

this goes on, repeating the cycling of him apologising over and over

once things go silent, you speak up

“hey, why do you apologise so much?” and he goes silent

not because he’s lost in thought, no

he’s too scared to mess up and become a blushing mess in front of you

he’s literally captivated by your beauty

“hello? earth to green boy?” you slightly tilt your head, delicate facial features scrunching in confusion and annoyance

“ah! sorry!” he apologises again

you two exchange awkward thank yous and goodbyes

just as he’s walking you out, you turn around (abruptly)

he flinches, making you laugh out of awkwardness

“can i have your number? i’ll pay you back somehow.”

and he gives it to you, no second thoughts

that afternoon, you walked out with a little faster heart beat

and he walked out with a new crush

repaying him 🤨:

you text him one day

“meet at [cafe name] at 2pm”

not a question and not a demand

yet it kinda seemed like it

well whatever, if he had plans, he’d clear them all out for you

he didn’t have plans 🙏🏽

so he meets you at the cafe

you’re sitting there, band aids and whatnot from the previous meeting all off except one on your cheek

in this really nice outfit, it fits you perfectly <3

he hesitantly sits down, smiling and thanking you for reaching out

you flash him an embarrassed smile in return, handing him a menu

“order whatever, my treat.”

he declines politely, genuinely not wanting to spend your money

so you insist.

and eventually he orders a small cake and a drink

you two talk, you thank him once more

“it’s really okay! i’m just glad you’re okay.” he smiles

“but can i ask why you were running that day?” he asks hesitatingly

you briefly (and casually) explain that you were running from the police

and he looks shook. jaw-dropped, even.

and then he laughs. an adorable laugh that makes your face heat up

“so i’m an accomplice? cus i hid you” he jokingly asks

“well, that depends. be my permanent accomplice?” you half jokingly reply

and he, fully seriously replies “yeah.”

taglist: @tofumiarchives , @your-local-reblogging-kazoo + open (send an ask if you'd like to be added! :D)

likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated!! <3

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pillarsalt · 1 month ago

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Seconding that last ask about pretending that gendies' straight relationships are gay ughhh one of my best friends is non binary and getting more aggressive about it lately (meaning that i have to bend over backwards every two seconds to use the correct pronouns, since our language literally doesnt have a neutral one) and i have to hear her rants about how MUCH she hates her disgusting female body and how shes different from a woman bc she doesnt align with feminity and that all her boyfriends have been actually gay for dating her AND pretend 1) that i dont take all that harmful discourse regarding being a woman at heart and 2) that i dont hurt from seeing her like this because i really love her. Its. Exhausting. SORRY this got long i just dk what to do 😭

oh my goddd the whole thing with nonbinary women and the fixation on the men they sleep with being gay because gender... it's crazy, the desire to control the sexual orientations of others seems like a pattern in the trans community, although obviously some are worse than others. I mean it matches the fixation on controlling how others perceive them in their private minds, ie. "we can tell when you're just using our pronouns to be polite and you don't actually SEE us as our stated gender" like anyone's private thoughts are your business? Controlling what we can say out loud isn't enough?

(Kind of a tangent: but a while ago I remember jeffrey marsh making a video with his male partner ((idr if they're married)), talking about how when jeffrey's identity changed from man to nonbinary, the partner's had as well, because he wasn't identifying as gay anymore. He had always perceived himself to be gay, it was a big part of his identity through his life, but he loves Jeffrey, and Jeffrey is no longer a man, and gay men love men, therefore he can't be gay. The guy looked so dejected and jeffrey kept having to persuade him to talk. Does anyone else remember this? I wonder if I can find the video. ((Obviously the straight girls with their gay boyfriends are a very different scenario.)) )

Anyway, I feel your pain, the thing with the pronouns I can't even imagine. The pure narcissism of complicating the simple act of speaking for everyone around you, making sure everyone expends a little extra brain power when talking to or about you... simply because you say so! Boggling.

Unfortunately, as I said on the last ask, not much you can do. It is very very hard to convince someone so entrenched in it to hear you out, and obviously you don't want to lose her, there's no great solution. The best thing you can do is to be there for her if and when she comes around to reality. It might be good if you guys could do some kind of activities together that have nothing to do with gender shit, ideally outdoors. The less time spent scrolling and ruminating, the better. But most importantly, take care of yourself, and don't take any shit either. You seem like a good friend, I hope things work out eventually.

#ask

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koreanbibliophilegirl · 5 months ago

Text

Personifications of Dream SMP Factions

Okay so I came up with this idea during my exams. (Exams always do something to my brain lol) I was thinking about Pandora's Vault as a hot butch, then I remembered this fic about L'Manberg personified, plus this fic about personified countries, and it somehow spiraled into this.

(This is all based on personal interpretation & recollection of DSMP lore, please don't come at me for getting things wrong!)

The rest of the post is under the cut:

I gave all the factions it/its pronouns, since they're manifestations of, well, factions. I think they would have other preferred pronouns though, mostly related to the faction's characteristics.

(For instance, Snowchester uses he/him pronouns because Tubbo and Ranboo are so close & act almost like one entity.(I know, I know, c!Ranboo uses they/them pronouns too, but idk I thought this fit...) On the other hand, Manberg uses he/him pronouns because it's a dictatorship and Schlatt operates the country as the sole mastermind behind it all. Pandora's Vault uses she/her pronouns because Pandora deserves to be a butch because while Sam is its warden, Pandora is, at it's core, different from what Sam himself strives to achieve.)

Plus, all factions have an inherent love for its' members/citizens, since any faction is a collective of its people. Except Pandora, bc y'know, she's a literal prison.

Also!!! every name mentioned is c!, not cc!.

L'Manberg- (it/they/he/she) Dressed in L'Manberg soldier attire. Looks like a mix of all the L'Manbergians. Hair is auburn, kinda curly, and wears red-and-blue tinted sunglasses. Has fox ears(?), braces, is boisterous and kinda overdramatic. Enjoys growing flowers, beekeeping, and baking. Follows the L'Manbergians around, Wilbur and Tommy the most. Pretty young, but gets older and more serious as the war drags on. Manifested in the drug van.

Pogtopia- (it/he/they/she) L'Manberg's other form. Hair is darker now(more like Wilbur's than a mix of everyone's), has eyebags, sunglasses are gone, and dresses darker. Looks like Wilbur mostly now, but near-exclusively follows Tommy around like he's a lifeline. Is not manic like Wilbur, despite looking a lot like him now, and recognizes how far-gone Wilbur is. It tries very hard to cheer up the rest of the Pogtopia people.

L'Manberg(new)- (it/they/he/she) Dresses in red, blue, yellow, black and white again(not the soldier attire, but the flag design is incorporated into its clothes), is scarred all over and sadder. Hair is blond now. Tried to follow Tommy to exile but Tubbo stopped it. Cries every day & grows weaker.

L'Manberg(post-doomsday)- (it/they/he/she) A ghost. Invisible to most now, new members of the SMP can't see it unless they're told about L'Manberg. And even then, it's very hard to see or recognize them. Tommy sees him clearly though, and she still follows Tommy everywhere. Even more scarred and wounded now. Sad and quiet.

Manberg- (it/he) Wears a suit, has ram horns, and face is completely featureless, no eyes or nose or mouth. Has dark, slicked back hair. Follows Schlatt around silently. Usually follows Schlatt's orders without complaint, but absolutely refuses to hurt anyone, even at the expense of being hurt itself by Schlatt. Tried to stop Tubbo's execution and ended up being blown up as well. Didn't die(since Manberg was still intact) but his featureless face gained a huge scar like Tubbo's. This scar stayed even after Tubbo went to Pogtopia. Exact age is difficult to determine, but is physically quite small.

the Butcher Army- (it/they) Dresses in black clothes with the Butcher Army standard bloody apron. Face is shaded and unremarkable, just one face in a crowd. Doesn't speak much, and when they do, it's just general Butcher Army stuff like how they're trying to bring Technoblade to justice, or whatever. Doesn't seem to have much personality.

Snowchester- (it/he) Young, younger than L'Manberg was. Looks a little like it too. Has snowy gray hair(a mix of Ranboo's black and white), goat horns like Tubbo, and is missing an eye like Michael. The other eye is wintery green. Dresses in snow clothes, a black-and-white bomber jacket and a pale green-blue dress shirt with a tie underneath. Is quiet, has a shy smile like Ranboo, and is generally quite innocent like Michael. He likes pranks and chaos too though, like Tubbo. It's a peaceful little thing, but if you somehow get him angry its eye will turn purple and his body will start giving off a pale, eery green glow like radioactivity.

Kinoko Kingdom- (it/she) Looks like her namesake, Komori Kinoko from My Hero Academia. (Specifically, Komori's powered-up version with the chubbier cheeks and visible eyes, not her normal, emo version.) Wears light flowy clothes in earthy colors, soft purples and blues and ruddy browns and greens. Loves taking naps in the sunshine, reading old books, and exploring the Kingdom. Tiny mushrooms sprout wherever it walks, which is usually just inside the borders of the Kingdom. She never really goes far beyond that. Also likes training & sparring, though it tends to be relaxed about it, treating it more as a sport than anything else. She's usually sweet and kind, but also a tad chaotic. Bit forgetful. Looks somewhere in its twenties.

Las Nevadas- (it/he) Also looks somewhere in its twenties, though it looks a bit younger than Kinoko. Gelled-back jet-black hair, classy dark green beanie(beanie like Q, green like Slime, dark bc Classy™️). Dress shirt, tie, suspenders. Lots of gold accessories. Has a few purple freckles on its face, and orange highlights in his hair. Maybe green creeper markings? Give the boi some neon splashes. Acts slick and confident(and kinda manipulative) like a businessman with outsiders, but is super nice and sorta anxious when he's only with his members. Cares way too much about its citizens, even though it knows Purpled doesn't like him. Low self-esteem. Usually follows Quackity. Q flaunts its existence to people & is genuinely very proud of his country, but is also slightly unnerved by his knowledge of Nevadas's real personality. He knows personified factions reflect its people and the ideals it stands for, but he isn't entirely sure what Nevadas's nervous, slightly obsessive disposition is implying. Also, Nevadas has a crush on Kinoko. Kinoko is a bit confused, but thinks Nevadas is cute, so she might as well go along with it. Nevadas puts on a suave & slick act with Kinoko, though Kinoko can see right through it. She thinks he's sweet and silly, and also maybe a little lonely. Q doesn't approve of them flirting so much, and tells Nevadas to stop visiting Kinoko all the time. Not that Nevadas listens.

the Eggpire- (it/they/he/w̴͚̮͒̇̓e̴̺̬͉̅̋) Demon with red skin, white glowing eyes, two huge horns of red diamond sprouting from its head, and flowing robes. Has a missing arm, torn-up fairy wings, a red gold medallion, and a cat tail. Looks like a child, but you can tell it only looks like one. Unnerving smile with sharp predatory teeth(also red), sweet & melodious voice, silver-tongued and manipulative. Upon closer inspection, you can see that their entire body, clothes and all, is made of writhing, pulsing red vines.

the Syndicate- (it/she/they) Nicknamed Syndi by her members. Electric pink hair with a black-and-white half-and-half streak, tied in a short, tiny braid down one shoulder. Large black angel wings and enderman horns(one black, one white). Wears fingerless gloves, the opposite color of the horn on that side. Blood-red eyes. Anarchist, obviously. Snarky and deadpan, but smiles a lot too, and is generally quite a warm and kind person. Is nimble & fast on their feet, and is a quick thinker. A wise scholar and fearsome warrior, a sharp-eyed strategist. Enjoys reading, baking, and dancing with its members. Looks like a young adult. +Also, I haven't decided whether the faction personification thing is a general occurrence or strictly a DSMP thing, but if it's a general thing, Syndi is best friends(and possibly in a QPR) with the Antarctic Empire(it/he, fully-grown adult, nicknamed Antares, AE emperor attire, blue-and-white bucket hat with a wider brim than Phil's, thin and pointy white gold crown, snowy-white longish hair with ice-blue eyes, one emerald earring, giant white wings and piglin hooves, loves the thrill of battle, enjoys reading & woodcarving, makes lots of deadpan jokes, would like to just retire already please and thank you).

Pandora's Vault- (it/she) Ah yes, the one who started this whole ordeal. Despite me imagining Pandora as a hot butch at the start, I changed Pandora to be a teenager! Albeit a butch & pretty teenager. Looks like a creeper mostly, like Awesamdude, but her torso is made of crisscrossing obsidian bars that resemble a prison or a really messed up ribcage. Usually wears enchanted golden armor on top of it though. Has long hair that looks like dark curling smoke with lava-like streaks running through it, and a gold head guard that kinda looks like a tiara. Has a gold gas mask too. Stickler for the rules, as expected of it, and scarily efficient with weaponry. She seems stoic and fierce on the outside, all rigid ideals and indifferent cruelty, but it's actually really desperate for peace and order. Would go to extreme lengths to enforce order. Dislikes Dream and Technoblade. Also doesn't like Ponk. While Sam feels guilty about what he did to Ponk, Pandora is quite vocal about her opinion that Ponk had it coming to them. Is uncomfortable with opening the prison cell for Quackity, but thinks it's for the greater good that he gets the Revive Book away from Dream. Not many hobbies, it spends most of its free time patrolling/guarding the Vault. She does like inventing though, usually things to improve the efficiency of the prison. Sam was surprised when she appeared, since he didn't think Pandora counted as a faction. He still treats it like a daughter though. She's daddy's little girl.

Greater Dream SMP- (it/they/he) A child. Really. It looked like Dream at first(at least, people assumed that was what Dream looked like behind the mask), with straw-blond hair, bright green eyes, and pale freckles. It gained new features every time a new person joined the server. When they grew up, they grew up suddenly, aging in shocking speed during the L'Manberg War. He settled as a sad, serious adult with a haunted look in his eyes. It stopped following Dream after he went further and further off the deep end, choosing to wander the land instead- keeping well away from L'Manberg(and later, other countries) of course. Slowly loses the features they got from people who abandoned the Greater Dream SMP to create their own country/faction. Eventually people stop seeing him and think he's disappeared, but he's still there, just lurking. It looks unremarkable now, with next to no distinctive features. They hang out with Eret in her palace and museum(they love the museum), visits multiple factionless members of the SMP, and greets/sends off Aimsey on their little pit stop in the server. When the server loops & resets, he resets alongside with it, and returns to his original form. It kept all it's memories, but it never says anything, choosing instead to give its people a fresh start, with a blank slate.

I probably missed a few factions, but this is all I could think of haha.

Also I accidentally posted this as a draft a few days ago, panicked, and privated the post in record time. This is a repost😅

#dream smp #dsmp #dsmp faction personification #I don't know general dsmp lore all that well I hope I got things (more or less) right #l'manberg #l'manburg #pogtopia #manberg #manburg #snowchester #pandora's vault #eggpire #the eggpire #las nevadas #kinoko kingdom #the butcher army

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chaotic-on-main · 2 years ago

Text

Chapter 1: November

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ word count ➼ ~7.1k

20-something years ago

‘Fire’, you think.

Everything is on fire.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───