#but is it a funny one? also yes

[just-mebs]

Fuck Marry Kill: the last three people you DMed either on here or discord

oh okay well we got drey, alpha, and my sibling so I think I'm just going to kill all three of them. Put them out of their misery like sick dogs. It is whats best, sadly 🫡 /j/lh

[beepboopappreciation]

Is this anything

[newttxt]

pls read the zosan fic “utilities included” and enjoy sanji making his own life as miserable as possible in plain view of his new roommate

from ch. 1 of utilities included (mind the tags and rating)

masterpost

[ash-and-starlight]

another late @zukki-week entry, for day 2 // skinny dipping

and as a special treat it comes with @erisenyo's fantastic fic And Babe, (What Do you Mean) We Ain't Even Dating that this scene is based on!!

[tinukis]

day 5 - little brother

so incredibly self indulgent but yeah anyway... little brother w his three older brothers

(please more asl + uta/asul bros please)

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I *need* to get pregnant by him.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[daydreamerwonderkid]

More Damian being hilarious moments because his sense of humor speaks to me, pt. 2

pt. 1

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 183

There’s a loud snarling noise outside the window. 

Not that Jazz is concerned. She’s just also trying to study for med school and would appreciate some quiet. And preferred her brother not contracting rabies whenever he tried to square off with the local rogue or three who tried to use the alley. 

As he had put it, it was his alley, he’d claimed it for tinkering. Though perhaps she should maybe ask him to quiet down on his insisted territorialism, even if she understood it. She would also probably maul someone if they tried to enter their apartment flat. It came with the territory of being ecto contaminated, or as the rest of them were now calling it, with being a liminal. 

Once the more draconic aspects started to emerge well, one wasn’t just contaminated anymore after all. Hence the whole school-worth of them leaving Amity while all their parents waged war against the guys in white. Last she heard it was going well. 

Which meant she could focus on her studies as soon as- okay it wouldn’t be quiet, it seems the rest of the kids joined in on mauling the poor idiot who tried to steal their things from the alley. Damn…

[wasyago]

we're at it again🕺

[yellownote0-0]

Summer is just around the corner! 😎☀️

[bluebells-and-dragonflies]

Imagine Astarion with ears so sensitive that he's never willingly allowed anyone to touch them except for you. Imagine laying next to him in your bed, facing him, lifting your hand up slowly for that first touch. His eyes on yours, the rapidity of the breath he doesn't need to take, but still does reflexively. Seeing that he's nervous, but that he's trusting you, feeling his shaking hand come to rest on your waist. The audible sound he makes- half a moan, half a gasp- when you finally brush your thumb over the soft skin at the tip of his ear.

You trace the long shell of his ear and watch his pretty eyes, deep red like velvet in the moonlight, flutter shut. He says your name softly, as close as you've ever heard him to prayer. You pinch his earlobe gently, and his hips roll forward involuntarily, the jut of his hipbone pressing against your thigh as he makes himself still. Heat flares low in your belly, but you tamp it down as quickly as possible- likewise, Astarion makes himself still against you. This isn't sex and won't become sex, you'd promised each other (though that's not to say that you won't explore this thoroughly during one of your hours-long lovemaking sessions. He is all about experimentation these days, after all).

You lay there, touching him in his most vulnerable place, with reverence and grace and occasionally disbelief that you could be here at all with this beautiful, horrible, ridiculous and wonderful man, that you could be trusted so completely. You take in his every shuddering breath, the flexing of his fingers in your shirt, the softness of his mouth when he presses his lips to yours and tells you he loves you. If you have your way, if he has his, if somehow your utterly insane lives hold together for a year or a decade or ten, it will always be like this.

[agendratum]

kiseki: dear to me as text posts (3/?)

[esprei]

req: more of your future emmet! in france!

oh... how unfortunate... bonus:

don't worry, Emmet! I'm sure you'll have a great time :D

[krashlite]

Millie Warm the Kettle,,,

i thought too hard abt bigb's POV and how in both 3L and DL he's caught between two alliances- one with grian and one with ren

something something damned if he does, damned if he doesn't

[solarmorrigan]

It’s impossible to sneak up on Steve

Like, actually impossible

Dude has eyes in the back of his head. It’s some kind of mom superpower. (Or maybe it’s just the hypervigilance. Whatever)

Eddie first notices because the kids try to sneak past him a couple of times and he always catches them

He even calls them out by name. And he’s always right

Every single time

He catches Henderson trying to get a snack before they’re about to eat (not that Henderson particularly cares he’s been caught; he eats his chips without remorse)

He catches Small Wheeler trying to smuggle an R-rated movie over the Buckley’s side of the counter while Steve’s back is turned (not that Buckley would’ve rented it to him)

He catches Red and Supergirl both sneaking junk food into the cart while they’re out grocery shopping (neither of them are repentant, and Steve rolls his eyes but does exactly nothing about it)

Eddie’s interest is piqued

The first time he tries sneaking up on Steve, Steve catches him before he gets within three feet

How

“You jingle when you walk, Eddie.”

Okay, yeah, that’s fair

Next time, Eddie takes off his wallet chain and all his jewelry

Steve still catches him before he gets close enough to reach out and touch

“Your shoes squeak.”

Eddie’s pretty sure they don’t, actually, but fine. The shoes are next to go

And Steve still fucking catches him. Eddie can hear the goddamn smile in his voice as he says “Hi, Eddie,” just as Eddie is reaching out to grab his waist

“I could smell your shampoo.”

He could smell Eddie’s shampoo?

His fucking shampoo??

Alright, no, actually, that’s kind of sweet. But Eddie can’t exactly stop using shampoo, because then Steve will probably just be able to smell his hair grease or something. Eddie has to get creative, but he makes sure he’s not downwind of the AC vent next time

Yet Steve is the one who manages to ambush Eddie while Eddie is ambushing Steve, turning around and pulling Eddie right into him before Eddie can pounce, kissing him hard and quick, asking if that’s what Eddie was going for when he pulls away

Half dazed, half aroused, entirely frustrated, Eddie demands to know how the fuck Steve caught him this time, and Steve shrugs

“It just... feels different, when there’s someone behind you. The air, maybe? I dunno.”

Is this man even human?

(Given the general state of... everything, Eddie feels this is a legitimate question)

But Eddie isn’t one to give up once he becomes fixated, so he bides his time

He waits

And he waits

And he waits, until it seems like Steve is engaged in something distracting enough that he’s not going to be paying attention to how the room behind him feels, or however the fuck that works, and takes his shot

AND HE SUCCEEDS

He has to promise never to do it again, because his ribs are now bruised from Steve’s very surprised elbow, and Steve is mad and handing him and ice pack and bitching at him at full volume, but y’know what?

Fucking worth it