#but instead i helped my sister move and took a nap :V

[scrumpylikesthings]

I had intended to do this 24 Hour Novel Writing Day, but I uh. . . didn't. I had wanted to put some words into book 4 of Weird Shit and only managed 1K before going back to Meat Cute edits. Here's David being super gay:

David greedily downed the rest of the water and side-eyed his partner. A patchwork of tattoos were on full display, each with their own meaning and most with their own function. Painfully visible tan lines denoted where a t-shirt, shorts, and shoes all sat, like a paper doll; fish belly white skin arresting where the sun had kissed it a melanoma bronze. The half dead jean shorts looked like they might have fit properly 20 lbs ago, kept around out of sentiment or denial.

Micah spat the nothing in his mouth and grinned, wide enough to show off the gap just a few teeth off center.

“Ta-da!” he said, wiggling the month old toothbrush.

“Congrats. You achieved the bare minimum,” David said. “Maybe next time you’ll actually use toothpaste.”

[emy-loves-you]

Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays Chapter 6

Who the F*ck’s Rebecca? OR How the 3 Gays got Together

Virgil learns about Roman’s childhood, specifically his sister and how he ended up dating Patton and Logan.

Warning: Misgendering of a character (but no one knows that the character is trans)

Yes, Roman and Remus are brothers. Explanations are listed at the bottom

Chapter 5 | Masterlist | Chapter 7

V- (2:07 PM) Let it Go was the best song in Frozen and you cannot convince me otherwise

R- (2:07 PM) I respect your opinion, but hear me out: Love is an Open Door

V- (2:08 PM) No

R- (2:08 PM) What about Fixer Upper?

V- (2:09 PM) Still no.

P- (2:09 PM) I really liked Olaf’s song about Summer!

L- (2:10 PM) I personally enjoyed the reprise of First Time in Forever.

R- (2:10 PM) You like almost any song with a reprise

L- (2:10 PM)I will not argue that, as successfully executed reprises are “lit.”

R- (2:11 PM) Ah, and who among us could forget the absolute BOP that is… that weird ice-cutting song.

P- (2:11 PM) I don’t know, Roman. I think that song is, pretty COOL

R- (2:11 PM) Oh, lookout

V- (2:12 PM) What? He’s just saying it’s a CHILLED out groove.

R- (2:12 PM) Ugh

L- (2:12 PM) We might need you two to leave this chat if you don’t stop.

Virgil laughed, throwing his phone on the bed and stripping out of his clothes. He just finished jogging home from Janus’ (he didn’t own a car right now, preferring to walk or have Janus pick him up). It was a lazy afternoon in late September, and all Virgil wanted to do was get out of these sweaty clothes and maybe take a nap. He heard his phone go off multiple times as he got dressed, probably Patton and Logan arguing about the purpose of puns. He flopped down onto his bed and grabbed his phone, checking the new messages.

P- (2:14 PM) Lo, the Princes are calling.

L- (2:14 PM) Tell Roman not to answer, Patton. We’ve been over this.

P- (2:14 PM) They’re asking about us, Lo.

L- (2:14 PM) Tell Roman to hang up. They’re not worth it.

P- (2:15 PM) They’re yelling now, L. They brought up Rebecca. What do I do?

L- (2:15 PM) Just walk into another room, Patton. Ignore them. Do you want me to call you?

P- (2:15 PM) No, I’m good. Just keep texting me. I need a distraction.

Now, Virgil had no idea about what the fuck was going on. But he knew how to distract someone. He’d just have to trust them to tell him later.

V- (2:16 PM) Did you know that octopi have 3 hearts?

L- (2:16 PM) What

P- (2:16 PM) That just means they have more love to give!

V- (2:17 PM) The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds

P- (2:17 PM) Such a good bird!

V- (2:17 PM) Babies do not regularly produce tears until they are 1-3 months old

L- (2:18 PM) Ah, I think I understand now

V- (2:18 PM) A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time. It stands for 1/1000th of a second

L- (2:18 PM) Falsehood. A jiffy is 1/100th of a second

V- (2:19 PM) Sorry, my hand must’ve slipped.

L- (2:19 PM) You would be unable to walk on Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus or Neptune because they have no solid surface.

L- (2:20 PM) An asteroid about the size of a car enters Earth’s atmosphere roughly once a year. However, it burns up before it can reach us.

L- (2:20 PM) The highest mountain known to man is on an asteroid called Vesta. It is approximately three times the height of Mount Everest.

P- (2:21 PM) I think they hung up. Thanks for keeping me company, Kiddos!

L- (2:21 PM) It was not an issue, Patton.

V- (2:21 PM) Yeah, no problem Pat. Now can someone explain what just happened?

L- (2:23 PM) As you can probably tell, I am not home at the moment. Apparently, Roman’s parents decided to call him and an argument broke out. The rest is not my place to say.

Virgil bit his lip, refusing to look at his phone screen. Did Virgil have the right to ask about that. It was obviously a very sensitive topic, and Virgil had only known Roman for about 3 months now. Virgil felt like he knew a lot about his 3 crushes (their quirks, their favorite sweets, their goals in life), but he knew very little about their lives before Virgil had met them. Which was fine; they knew very little about Virgil’s life, too. But he desperately wanted to help Roman; to make him feel happy and safe and loved. Virgil sighed, setting his phone on his nightstand. If Princey wants to tell me what’s going on, I’ll listen. If not, I’ll just have to deal with it.

Virgil woke up from his nap to the sound of his phone going off. He blindly felt around for it, his face still firmly planted in his pillow. He finally found it, turning it on before he lifted his head to read the text. It was a private message from Princey.

R- (3:02 PM) You’re probably wondering what happened today.

V- (3:02 PM) I am, but you don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable. I’ll respect your privacy.

R- (3:02 PM) As much as I appreciate that, you still deserve to know.

R- (3:03 PM) Do you mind if I call you? This doesn’t feel like a conversation to have over text.

Virgil thought about it for a moment. He originally never wanted to call Roman, simply because he might recognize Virgil’s voice as Anxiety’s. However, not only was Virgil 99% confident that Roman had never even heard of The Dark Sides, Virgil’s head was still foggy after his nap. Before he knew it, he was already calling Princey’s phone.

“Virgil?” Roman didn’t sound as… grand as Virgil expected. His voice was subdued and slightly hoarse, probably from the screaming match with his parents.

“Heya, Princey.” Virgil cringed at how gravelly his voice sounded. He’ll need to get some water after this conversation is over.

“You sound so tired. Oh my stars, did I wake you up? I’m so sorry. I’ll let you get back to sleep-”

“Princey, it’s okay. Just finished my nap. Might not talk much, but ‘m all ears.”

“Alright. Where do I even begin?”

“Take your time. ‘m not pressurin’ you or anythin’.”

“(sigh) You’re right. I guess I should start at the beginning. I grew up in a very... conservative household. My parents expected me and my sister, Rebecca, to be perfect. ReeRee was my partner in crime. We did everything together up until highschool. My parents expected me to get a football scholarship and date the hottest girl in school. I did those things, not because I wanted to, but because they wanted me to. ReeRee was a different story. When my parents signed her up for cheerleading, she tried to join the football team instead. When they told her she should wear her hair in a ponytail, she cut it off to match mine. I didn’t understand, and it made me angry. It was like looking in a funhouse mirror; she was starting to look more and more like me, and yet each change made my parents angrier. Why was looking and acting like me a problem? I thought they liked this version of me! One night in the summer before junior year I was really frustrated and I took it out on her. I told her to stop acting like me. I knew she didn’t deserve my anger, so I went to Patton’s place to cool down. By the time I came home, my parents refused to acknowledge that I even had a sister. I pushed her away, and now I’ll never get her back.

After that, things changed. I was so angry, and everything I saw reminded me of her. I quit the football team, because every time I went down to the field I expected to see her. I dyed my hair, because every time I looked in the mirror I saw her staring back. I stopped caring about what my parents thought, ‘cause it was their opinions that dragged me into this mess!

I had already been friends with Patton since Freshman year, but me and Logan had been at each other’s throats . We were always bickering about something, and sometimes I used our arguments to vent out my anger at whatever was wrong at the time. I didn’t even realize how much I had cared about Patton and Logan until I learned about the LGBTQ+ community. My parents were super strict, and Patton and Logan didn’t exactly flaunt their relationship. I had no idea that liking guys was even an option . Once I learned about it, my parents quickly tried to shut it down. Everyday, they’d start their day telling me that ‘homosexuality is a sin’ and ‘God made you to be the gender you were born with!’ If they had told me that before ReeRee left, I might’ve believed them. But by this point, I didn’t care about a single thing they told me.

So one day, I’m arguing with Logan about who knows what, and suddenly we’re inches apart, and I remember pa saying ‘ a boy should never kiss another boy.’ And just think, ‘Fuck it.’ And now me and Pocket Protector are suddenly making out behind the school building. Microsoft Nerd asks why the hell I decided to make out with him of all people, and I break down right there. He agreed to keep it a secret, but he refused to do anything more than a simple make-out session until he had Padre’s consent to do so. Which I understood, consent is important, cheating is bad.

Now we’re having these ‘sessions’ at least once a week for almost 4 months. Patton eventually walked in on us and he was understandably upset. I explained what had happened and that I’ve had a crush on both of them for a while. And they’re like ‘cool, we’re polyam.’ And now I’m starting senior year dating two men, which mom and pa were not okay with. I told ‘em to fuck off and we moved away as soon as we graduated. They still call occasionally, asking when I’m gonna get my life together and get over losing ReeRee. I haven’t blocked ‘em yet in case they find her or change their minds.”

Roman finally took a deep breath. “Sorry about the rant. Didn’t realise how badly I needed to get that off my chest.”

Virgil snorted. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. Told ya I’d be a good ear. And Princey?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t gotta do anything to impress someone else. You bein’ you is good enough. And if Rebecca could see you, I’m sure she’d be proud as hell. And don’t be ‘fraid to hit me up if you need someone other than your SOs to rant to; I’ll always be here for ya, Princey.”

“... Thank you, Virgil. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that until you said it.” He sighed, and Virgil could hear the sound of running water. “I’m gonna go drink some water. My throat burns like a bitch right now.”

“Same. Catch you later?”

He could hear Roman chuckle to himself. “I guess you shall. Farewell, Storm Cloud. And pleasant dreams!”

Virgil blushed. The way Roman said his nickname… it made Virgil’s gay heart nearly explode. He quickly hung up and buried his face back into his pillow. I’ll get water later. AFTER my heart stops racing.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, for those of you wondering about why Virgil doesn't realize that Roman and Remus are brothers, I'm gonna put a quick explanation here, 'cause I don't know how to casually fit this into the story. 1.) Remus has never told Virgil his deadname or his last name. He's probably told Janus (since their pretty close) but Virgil doesn't know. 2.) Remus has never told Virgil that his brother's name is Roman. Additionally, when Virgil is talking about the 3 gays, he only calls them "Pat, Lo and Princey." 3.) Roman's parents didn't tell him that Remus transitioned, so he doesn't know that Rebecca now goes by Remus. Also, none of the characters have actually sent pictures of their faces, so none of them have any idea what the other looks like. 4.) It is a total coincidence that both twins moved to the same town. Remus believes that Roman still lives in their hometown, and Remus could be dead for all that Roman knows. There is no logical reason for them to think "maybe Virgil's friends with my long-lost sibling" 5.) Virgil would NEVER out his friends like that. He tells Janus and Remus everything, but he would NEVER betray Roman's trust like that. Same thing for telling Roman about Remus. Roman might know that Remus is trans, but he doesn't know about Remus' background. ONE LAST THING: Roman and Virgil will eventually see each other face-to-face but WON'T recognize each other's voices. This is because during the phone call Virgil is still groggy from waking up and Roman is still hoarse from screaming.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst

[notalwaysthevillian]

A Different Side of Hogwarts

Warnings: Deceit, manipulative family members, crying, panic attacks

Word Count: ~2k

Pairings: Platonic LAMP at the moment

Masterlist

Chapter 23 | Chapter 25

Chapter 24

After the fiasco that was Patton’s Christmas gift, the four boys started to hang out once more. Roman did still hang out with the boys from his house, but now he’d let them know first.

One snowy day, the four of them were hanging out in the library. Patton was watching the flurries go by outside the window, while Virgil sat curled up next to him, doing his best to nap. Logan was reading a book about spells on the nearby bench, telling Roman about some of the spells he might enjoy, as well as some of the sillier ones.

“There you are.”

Virgil snapped awake in an instant, eyes landing on his least favorite brother. Patton could feel Virgil trembling ever so slightly and shifted to hide him a little better.

“Is there a reason you’re bothering us, Devin?” Logan asked, a bored look on his face. “Calypso can see us, so anything you try to pull will be nixed immediately.”

Devin threw a scowl Logan’s way. “If I really wanted to do anything, I know how to distract teachers. And I’m not here for any of you. I’m here to deliver a message to Virgil.”

“Fro-from who?” Virgil cursed his voice for shaking.

“From Nana.” Devin said sweetly, his smile growing when Virgil froze in place. “She noticed that you hadn’t hung up her Christmas gift yet. After all, it took a lot of time and money to get her portrait done.”

“I -”

“Better do it soon, before she comes for a visit.”

With his message delivered, Devin turned and left the library.

Logan moved to kneel in front of Virgil, taking note of his accelerated breathing. “Virge, squeeze my hands if you can hear me.”

There was a tight squeeze on Logan’s hands, even though Virgil’s eyes were slightly unfocused.

“Okay, I’m going to tap a rhythm on your wrists. Try your best to breathe with it, okay?”

Logan started tapping a 4-7-8 rhythm. It took a few minutes, but Virgil started calming down. The others could see his eyes refocusing, filling with tears. He threw himself into Patton’s arms, soaking his robes in an instant.

“It’s okay.” Patton said, rubbing Virgil’s back in small circles. “We’re here, V. We’ve got you.”

Roman hovered off to the side, unsure of what to do. “Should I get his brother?”

“No!” Virgil cried out, loud enough to attract the attention of Calypso.

She looked up from the desk with an irritated look before she realized what was going on. With a flick of her wand, a small paper airplane landed on Logan’s shoulder.

Do you need help?

Logan looked back and shook his head, grateful that the teachers were respectful of Virgil’s anxiety issues.

“Virge, I didn’t mean - I meant Preston, not that snake-faced liar.” Roman explained, anger building inside of him. He wanted Devin to pay for making Virgil cry. “I can get him, but only if you want me to.”

“No.” Virgil choked out, much calmer now that he knew what Roman meant. “He - he doesn’t need to be here. He’ll just worry.”

“He’s your brother, that’s how they’re supposed to act.” Logan backed away slightly from the Hufflepuffs. Virgil needed some space to breathe. “Remy might be annoying, but if he was upset I’d want to know.”

“I doubt he’d know what to do either.”

Logan’s mind whirred as he thought back to what Devin had said. The other three looked up when Logan face-palmed. “I’m such an idiot. Virgil, your grandmother gave you a portrait of herself. I’m assuming she means to keep an eye on you through it?”

Tears burned in Virgil’s eyes again, but he nodded. “If she finds out I’m still friends with you guys...she’ll disown my dad. He only got his job at the ministry because of her and I’m scared that she might do something to get him fired.”

“That witch.” Three heads whipped toward Patton, shocked to see how mad he was. “I can’t believe that she’d be so manipulative. You’re supposed to love your family, not...UGH!”

“Shh!”

“Perhaps we should move this to one of our rooms?” Logan asked, giving Calypso an apologetic look. “Probably not your room, though I don’t know how much the portrait can hear if it’s not hung up.”

Roman let out a sigh. “We can go to my room. The other guys won’t be there anyway, they’re taking extra flying lessons so they have a better chance at being on the team next year.”

The four of them left the library and headed up the stairs to Gryffindor tower. Virgil clung to Patton the entire time, jumping at the slightest noises.

It hurt Patton’s heart to see his best friend like this. How could a family member be so awful? Sure, sometimes he fought with his sisters, but they apologized and made up fairly quickly.

The Fat Lady looked at them as they walked up, her face morphing into a motherly look as she laid her eyes on Virgil. “Are you alright, young man?”

He nodded, staring at the floor.

“We’re working on it.” Roman told her. “Skiving Snackbox.”

The portrait swung open, revealing the common room.

Patton didn’t seem fazed as they climbed through, but Virgil and Logan were taking it all in. Neither of them had been here before.

A roaring fire warmed the room, as well as adding some light. Two armchairs and a large couch made that section of the room one for studying or sleeping. Logan rolled his eyes as he noticed his brother lying across the entire couch, snoring away.

On the other side of the room, there were a few tables shoved up against the wall. Logan suspected they’d normally be out for study, but currently they’d been moved to allow room for a few games. He spotted wizard’s chess and gobstones, but there were a few he didn’t recognize.

“Who brought in Ticket to Ride?” Roman asked one of the players.

They nodded toward one of the girls playing gobstones. “Zoe did. Muggles have some fun games.”

Before Roman could get sucked into a conversation, Patton pulled him toward the back of the room. There was a set of stairs that neither Logan nor Virgil had noticed. “Come on, Ro. We need to figure this out.”

“What are we figuring out, exactly?” Virgil asked as they made their way to Roman’s room.

“How to keep hanging out, but not make your Nana mad.”

“Pat -”

Virgil was cut off as Patton spun to face him, a look of determination on his face. “Virge, we’re your friends. We’re going to help you with this.”

“But -”

“You don’t think you’re worth it.”

A silence fell over the group as Virgil looked to the floor, confirming Logan’s deduction.

Of the three, Roman was the first to speak up. “Virgil, you are worth it. I’m sorry if I made it seem like you weren’t. If any of us did.”

“I forgive you.” Virgil said, choking on the last word.

Patton quickly brought them up to Roman’s room. Once Roman was sure that no one was inside, he shut the door and locked it.

“No one will be bothering us for a while. And if they do, we’ll at least have a second before they come barging in.”

“What do we do?” Virgil asked, his breathing becoming rapid once more. Patton grabbed his hand and tried rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. “If Nana finds out…”

“She won’t.” Logan and Roman said in unison.

It was the first time they’d ever truly agreed on something. But as they looked at each other, they knew they were right. They’d do anything to make sure that Nana wouldn’t find out.

“How?” Virgil croaked out, feeling a lump swell in his throat.

Patton switched to rubbing circles to throwing his arms around Virgil instead. Virgil leaned into the embrace.

“We don’t have to hang out in your room.” Logan said, gears whirring in his mind.

“There’s plenty of other places.” Roman chimed in, working off of what Logan was thinking. “Either tower would welcome you guys in, since you’re not Slytherin.”

“If we choose other places -”

“-she won’t find out.”

Drying his tears, Virgil nodded. “If I have to put that portrait up, then I don’t wanna be in there any more than I have to.”

Over the next hour, the four of them made a list of multiple different places they could hang out that wasn’t Virgil and Patton’s room. The length of the list allowed Virgil to relax, even if it was only slightly.

“There’s still one question I have.” Logan said as he rolled up the parchment. “Why hasn’t Devin told her that you’re still hanging out with us? It doesn’t make sense for him to keep it to himself.”

Virgil shook his head. “I don’t know. I’m sure he has something planned.”

“Virgil, why don’t we head back to our room?” Patton said, shooting a stern look at Logan. “If you want, I can hang up the portrait so you don’t have to look at it.”

“No, I should do it.”

As the two Hufflepuffs left, Logan frowned. “What did I say?”

“Virgil is clearly not on good terms with his brother. Bringing him up probably wasn’t the best idea.” Roman was laying upside down on his bed, twirling his wand around his fingers.

“But doesn’t he want to know why?”

Spinning around, Roman sat up. “If I had to guess, I’d say that Devin is holding this over Virgil. Using it to torture him.”

“But why would a brother do that?”

“If I had one, maybe I’d know.”

As they began to bicker, Patton and Virgil were making their way down the stairs. Virgil remained eerily quiet. Patton wasn’t sure how to comfort him. He had such a close relationship with his sisters. He couldn’t imagine someone being as horrible as Devin, or as bad as Virgil’s Nana.

Once they were outside of the Great Hall, turning to head down to the kitchens, they heard fast footsteps coming toward them.

Virgil spun around instantly, breathing easier when he saw that it was Preston.

“Though he shouldn’t have been eavesdropping,” Preston said, shooting a look at Remy, who was slowly walking up to them, “Remy told me everything. Nana...I knew she gave us those portraits to spy, but I’d forgotten about your muggleborn and half-blood friends. So stupid of me.”

“Preston -”

Preston shook his head. “No, don’t tell me it’s alright. It’s not. You shouldn’t have to put up with her. If mother or father would just grow a spine!”

“We can’t do anything about it.” Virgil mumbled, staring at his shoes.

Preston kneeled down in front of him, forcing Virgil to look at him. “Not yet. But as soon as there’s something I can do about it, I will. Okay? If I get out, you’re coming with me.”

Virgil threw himself into his brother’s arms, doing his best not to start crying for the fourth time that day.

Once Virgil had calmed down, he looked at his brother. “Since - since when are you and Remy friends?”

“Since I snogged him in an empty classroom.”

Preston rolled his eyes, the slightest hint of pink on his face. “That never happened.”

“But you wish it did.” Remy said as he helped Preston and Virgil to a standing position.

“No, I do not.” Though Preston’s tone was irritated, there was a bit of fondness shining in his eyes. “Perhaps you’re projecting?”

A blush burned on Remy’s face. He scoffed before heading off down the hallway.

“He pretty much annoyed me into being his friend.” Preston said, giving Virgil one last squeeze before running off after Remy.

Disgusted at the thought of Preston and Remy snogging, Virgil made his way to his room, with Patton in tow. He popped open his trunk, staring at the fabric-wrapped portrait.

“We can do it tomorrow.”

Virgil shook his head, reaching out with trembling hands. He unwrapped the portrait, wincing as he saw Nana walk into the frame immediately, a sinister smile on her face. She didn’t speak, but he had the feeling she wouldn’t need to.

Carefully hanging the portrait on an available nail, Virgil felt his gut twist.

Nana was up to something.

And he had no clue what it was.

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 10

Warnings: none

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @alievans007​, @thunderintheshadows​

With Declan at Salena’s house for a ‘lunch and play date’, Esme takes advantage of the downtime, spending the first part of her afternoon eating lunch on the back patio while Adeline naps on a blanket nearby.  Enjoying the breeze that blows in off the ocean, the way the sun glistens on the water, and the sound of the waves as they roll up onto the shore.  It’s peaceful; a welcome relief from the earlier incident with Chloe and the drama that had ensued the night before. She has a chance to let her brain finally rest, losing herself in the petty drama on social media posts and reading celebrity gossip blogs.  Simple, mindless pleasures that help take her mind off things; the worry revolving around Ovi, the problems TJ is having a school, her own battle with mental health issues.  

Today is a better day; the dark overhead not as dense and terrifying. She’s able to find happiness in the sunshine and the sound and the smell of the ocean and the sight of her infant daughter fast asleep; long dark eyelashes resting against the top of her cheeks, those rosy, tiny lips pursed, her hair being tousled by the breeze. Content and peaceful; comfortable in just a pink bathing suit with brightly colored unicorns printed on it and ruffles on the bum. Mac curled up beside her; a paw touching her leg, raising his head to watch her when she twitches or makes even the faintest of noises in her sleep.

After lunch –and when Addie wakes- Esme takes her down the water, crouching down and lightly pressing the baby’s feet in the wet sand, leaving tiny prints behind. Sitting at the edge while the tide rolls in, the baby between her legs and resting back against her, gently splashing the water onto Addie’s legs and tummy; allowing her to get used to the texture and the temperature.  Then wading out until the water just reaches the small of Addie’s back as she holds her tightly and protectively against her. There’s no fussing. Not even the slightest of cries or the flinch of discomfort.

“You are definitely your father’s daughter,” Esme says, as she presses a kiss to Addie’s cheek. “You’re a natural. Definitely not a scaredy cat.  When you’re a bit bigger, he’s going have you out here all the time with your brothers and sister. Swimming, teaching you how to surf. All that fun stuff. You look me, but I think you’re going to be just like him. And that’s a good. A very good thing. Because he is brave and strong and has a huge heart inside that big body of his.”

Later she spreads a blanket out on the sand and lies down on it, Addie on her stomach and pressed against her mother’s chest; a towel loosely draped over her tiny body to protect her from the sun. The sand is warm and soothing against her back and combined with the heat from the brilliant sunshine and the sounds of the ocean, it’s enough to almost lull her to sleep.  She’s exhausted; mentally and physically. It’s been years since she’s been able to indulge in even the smallest bit of self-care, devoting her life to being a wife and a mother. Even a few hours without the other four kids will do wonders for her body and mind. And she’s just beginning to doze off when she feels a slight –yet noticeable- change in the temperature; cracking open an eye to find a shadow cast over her.

“I was starting to wonder if anybody lived at this dump,” the familiar voice drawls, and her eyes snap open at the sound of it, quickly and carefully sitting Addie down on the blanket before jumping to her feet.

“Oh my god! Kyle!” The tears are already brimming in her eyes as she practically throws herself against him, and he laughs as he circles her waist with his arms and picks her up off her feet.

“Hey, kid,” he greets, and presses a kiss to her temple.

She holds his scruffy face in her hands. “What are you doing here?”

“Would you believe I came all this way just because I missed my little sister?” He tousles her hair affectionately and places her on the ground.

“No. But I’ll let you have it. Why didn’t tell us you were coming to visit? So we knew to expect you.”

“It was kind of a last-minute thing. I had some vacation time owed to me and I thought I'd take advantage of it. And I’ve always wanted to visit Australia, so....” he puts his hands on his hips and emits a long, low impressed whistle as he takes in the surroundings. The beach with its pristine, almost white sand, the expanse of the ocean, the house and the property it sits on. “...here I am. And wow, it’s even better than the pictures and those were pretty impressive.”

“Isn’t it awesome? It’s everything we could have ever possibly imagined. Every day it gets more and more beautiful. We are so blessed, K. In so many ways.”

“You guys sure are. I’m not surprised you never want to come back to the States. I wouldn’t want to if I lived here either.  You look good, kid,” he reaches out to push wayward strands of hair behind her ears. “How you been feeling?”

“It’s been a rough one,” Esme admits. “I haven’t really been myself since having Addie.?”

“Post-partum or...?”

She nods. “Even worse than with Declan. That that was bad enough. But I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow to talk to her about it and get some meds. So I’ll be right as rain soon. I can’t believe you’re here!” She wraps her arms around his torso. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much.”

“Wow, your brain must really be messed up,” Kyle teases, and then jumps backwards with a chuckle when she directs a painful punch towards his stomach. “So where’s this new niece of mine? I didn’t come all this way for nothing, you know.”

“You’re going to love her,” Esme gushes, and takes him by the hand and pulls him towards the blanket. “She’s so tiny and so beautiful and so perfect. And she looks like me! Finally! It only took how many tries?”

“Tyler must have used up all the good genes on the first four,” he chides, a broad smile spreading across his face when his sister carefully places Addie in his arms. “Holy shit! She’s even tinier in person! I can’t believe how light she is. Like holding a doll.”

“Even the preemie diapers and clothes are a bit too big on her right now. She makes all the others seem huge when they were born. Even the twins were bigger, and they were early.”

“And then there’s Declan who was practically a toddler when he was born.”

“That was like giving birth to a baby elephant. Wait until you see him. He's at the neighbor's right now, but he’s huge! He’s so tall and he’s solid and so strong. Isn’t she just amazing?” Esme smiles down in pride at her baby girl. “Isn’t she just the most incredible thing you’ve ever seen?”

Kyle grins. “You’ve said that with every one of them.”

“But she’s even more so. Look at her. How beautiful she is. Look at all that hair and those huge eyes and those tiny little ears!”

“She’s beautiful like her momma.” he declares and pecks his sister’s cheek. “You did good, kid.  You did really good.”

“Well, I can’t take all the credit. I did have some help.”

“One thing you guys are really good at is making cute kids, that’s for sure. I can’t wait to see them. I can only imagine how big they’ve gotten in just six months. Bet Millie’s growing like a weed.”

“TJ is almost taller than she is! He’s five, K! There’s no way he should be that tall and have that big of feet. And Tanner...oh my god...wait until you see his hair. He looks so much Tyler. Like the spitting image of him. It used to be TJ, but Tanner has changed so much. You won’t believe it when you see them.”

“I’ve missed them,” he smiles down at his niece and runs a palm over her hair. “It’s been hard. Being that far away from them. They’re happy though? They’re doing okay?”

“TJ has had some issues at school. Just some acting out and some aggression. We think he’s just struggling with such a huge change in his life. But we’re going to have a specialist look at him. Just in case it’s something more. It may be nothing. He may just have his dad’s temper and needs to learn how to control it. But it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“But happy? Are they happy?”

“Very. And healthy.  They’re thriving here, K.  They love school, their grades are good, they have friends. They spend nearly all their time outside when they’re home. They go swimming and fishing and Tyler is teaching them how to surf. They’re in their element. And that’s what we wanted for them.  A place they’d be truly happy. Where they’d feel safe and secure.”

“And you? Other than this post-partum stuff. Are you happy?”

“It’s probably the happiest I’ve been in about fifteen years. I wish we’d never left. That we’d just stayed here instead of going back to Colorado.  It’s where all our problems started. Everything just seemed to go downhill when we moved back there. If we’d just stayed here...”

“And miss spending time with your favorite big brother? I’m insulted,” he playfully nudges her with his elbow.  “Not sense dwelling on it, kid.  That’s all behind you now. Can’t go back and change it, so why even think about it? Nothing good ever comes out of wondering ‘what if’.”

“When did you become so wise and logical?” Esme teases. “That is not the K I remember. The K I remember still loved playing beer pong and doing shots out of random girls’ navels.”

“Well, you meet a good woman and things change. What can I say?”

His sister doesn’t respond, instead arching her eyebrows and giving a tight-lipped smile as she gathers up the blanket and shakes it free of sand before folding it.

“Esme...” Kyle sighs. “...don’t be like that.”

“Don’t be like what? I didn’t say anything.”

“You don’t need to. You’ve got that look.”

She laughs. “I don’t have a look. You’re just imaging I have a look.”

“I know Nik isn’t your favorite person, but....”

She scoffs.

“...she is my fiancée. She’s going to be my wife. You need to give her a chance. I gave Tyler a chance.”

“You didn’t know Tyler before you met him. I know Nik. I’ve known Nik for years. And ninety percent of that time, she was trying to get my husband to cheat on me. With her. She was doing everything in her power to fuck things up between us.”

“But she didn’t.”

“That’s hardly the point. She still did it. Why would you want to be with a woman you know was hell bent on being a homewrecker? And she wasn’t trying to wreck just any home. She was trying to wreck your sister’s home. How can you be okay with that?”

“She’s already apologized. To you. To Tyler. What more do you want? The pastis just that, right? The past. Leave it there. She's changed. You’ll see that for yourself.”

Esme’s eyes narrow. “Excuse me? I’ll see what for myself?”

“That Nik’s changed. What?” he chuckles. “You thought I’d take a vacation to Australia alone?”

“She’s seen plenty of Australia. Including parts I’d rather she’d never seen.”

“Esme, stop. That’s history.”

“Yeah, their history. Do you not realize how weird this is for you? That you’re marrying Tyler’s ex....whatever the hell she was? I’m going to be related to a woman that’s had sex with my husband. You don’t find that a little strange?”

“I can see why it’s a little off putting,” Kyle admits, and then follows her as she heads towards the house. “But it’s been a long time. Since the two of them had a thing. They’ve both moved on. He’s married, has five kids...”

“None of that matters to her before. Why should it now? It’s just weird, K. It’s just plain weird. That my sister in law was once banging my husband. Boy, that will be interesting conversation around the table at Thanksgiving. ‘Did you know Tyler and I used to fuck? Can you pass the gravy?’”.

“Okay, so now you’re being a tad irrational.”

“And it’s not just that,” she continues. “The fact they’ve had sex. On multiple occasions. It’s that Nik used him and manipulated him and preyed on every fear and worry he had to get him back into the job. She knew he had mental health issues and it didn’t even stop her. She didn’t even care. All she cared about was what she could get out of him.  So I’m sorry if I’m not thrilled that that’s the woman you’ve decided to spend the rest of your life with.”

“And like I said. She’s changed. You’ll see that for yourself. All I’m asking is that you give her a chance.”

“I’ve given her tons of chances,” Esme tosses the blanket onto one of the patio chairs and wipes her feet off on the mat in front of the sliding door before opening it. “How many chances am I supposed to give her?”

“You’ve given Tyler tons of chances,” he points out.

“He’s my husband, K. Don’t even compare the two.”

“Give her one more chance,” he implores, as he follows her into the house. “And do you guys never lock your doors around here? I was able to just walk right in.”

“No one comes down this way. Except for you now, apparently.”  She grabs the tea kettle from the middle of the stove, fills it with water and plugs it in. “I don’t lock them. Tyler does. Because he’s paranoid as fuck.”

“Of what?”

“Of anything. Of everything. Of everybody. Wouldn’t you be? After living the life he did? He’s pissed off a lot of people, K. There’s a lot of evil fucks out there that feel he did them wrong. There’s always a chance that someone is out there waiting for the opportunity to get back at him. Or at least that’s how he thinks.”

“And what do you think?”

“What I think is irrelevant. It won’t change his mind.”

“Is he getting any better? Is there any change?”

“He’s coping a lot better. He’s not as agitated. He doesn’t lose his temper as easily anymore and just fly off the handle. And we’re definitely do not fight as much as we used to.”

“But...” he takes a seat at the kitchen table. “...I sense a but coming on.”

“But...” she gathers the milk from the milk and a container of sugar from the counter, putting both down in the middle of the middle. “...he’s very...protective.”

“Of you?”

She nods.

“Pretty understandable. I mean, you guys have been through some messed up shit together,” he presses a kiss to a now sleeping Addie’s forehead and lays her along his thighs, a hand resting on her stomach to keep her in place. “He’s almost lost you twice. He doesn’t want there to be a third time. Any guy would be protective after going through what he’s gone through.”

“We’re not talking about what other guys would do. Let’s not pretend that Tyler is like other guys. How many of these other guys are...were...mercenaries.”

“Probably not many, but...”

“He isn’t protective like other men are protective. He’s over the top.   Protective to the extreme,” she gently scoops Addie up and places her in the infant swing across the room, covering her up with a receiving blanket and opening the sliding door to allow the cool breeze into the room.  

“I don’t think you can blame him for that,” Kyle reasons. “I mean, that’s a hell of a life he lived. And if he’s pissed that many people off and stepped on that many toes, he’s naturally going to worry about you.  He just wants to keep you safe. He loves you. He doesn’t want anything happening to you.”

“I don’t think you’re quite understanding the depth of his protectiveness,” she stands on her tip toes to snag two mugs from one of the cupboards, throwing a tea bag into each one and covering them with boiling water. “You’ve never seen Tyler in action. What he gets like. Especially when he’s having one of his ‘off days’.”

“Okay,” he takes one of the mugs from his sister and she slips into the chair across from him. “Enlighten me.”

“First, I’m not telling you all of this because I’m complaining about him. Because that’s not what this is. This is about loving him and being worried about him. That’s it.”

“I get that.”

“Second, you do not breathe a word of this to him.  If he knew I was telling you about these things, the shit would hit the fan. He doesn’t even like hearing what I have to say during therapy. And that’s with a professional. So if he finds out that I even mentioned all of this to you....”

“Your secret is safe with me. I promise. Did anyone ever find out about all those secrets we shared as kids? About the time we lit those firecrackers and threw them down Mister Johnson’s cistern? Or how about that time I caught you kissing Jennifer Parker behind the gym after field hockey practice in grade nine?”

“Oh my God,” Esme laughs, and presses her palm to her forehead. “Jennifer Parker. She was a grade eleven! I totally forgot about her. She was hot too. That nose ring and those dreads? I wonder what ever happened to her?”

“I saw her about a week ago, actually. She’s back in town. Married, three kids. Hooked up with a navy guy.”

“Navy,” Esme snorts, and pours milk into her tea. “She could do so much better.”

“Spoken like a true jarhead,” he teases, and reaches out to tousles her hair. “She asked about you, actually. I told her you were in Australia, married, almost half a dozen rug rats. Told me to tell you to look her up on Facebook.  She’d like to touch base.”

“Touch base, huh?” Esme smirks. “Is that what the kids are calling it these days? I do enough ‘touching base’ around here, don’t you think? Isn’t five kids evidence of that?”

“You should look her up. She’d probably love to visit Australia. You know, you can give her a ‘personal tour’.”

“Okay, first of all, I would never, ever cheat on my husband. Second, that’s NOT the kind of marriage we have. And third, even if we did have that kind of marriage, I don’t share. I think you’re not completely understanding how this whole being bi things works, K. You watch way too much porn.”

“It’s completely innocent, I swear. You’re happy, she’s supposedly happy. You can be friends with an ex, you know.”

“Oh don’t you dare find some sneaky way to turn this into me kissing Nik’s ass and trying to be her friend again. Don’t push me, K. If that’s going to happen, it’s going to be on my terms. Not yours.”

“Fair enough. So back to this whole Tyler being protective thing.  What’s the deal? You don’t think he has a reason to be?”

“It’s not that. And I love that man to the ends of the earth and beyond and this isn’t me just bitching about him to bitch about him. This is a legitimate concern.”

“Okay,” Kyle sips his tea. “Go on.”

“First, he’s not like that all the time. He gets into these moods. He’s always been intense. You know that. You’ve seen how intense he can be.  Well this is Tyler’s usual intense times a hundred.  I don’t know who or what sets it off, but he honestly goes into mercenary mode. Like I’m one of the people he’s been hired to protect and get out of shitty situations. It’s not like I’m not even his wife anymore. It’s like I’m....I don’t even know...a mark. Does that make sense?”

"I think so.”

“And he doesn’t realize he’s doing it. I know he doesn’t. Because that’s how his brain works.  It convinces him there’s a threat and a reason to go into hard core protective mode. And part of me loves him for it. That he’s that intense about wanting to keep me safe. But there’s another part that can’t fucking stand it. Because I feel suffocated. Like I can’t even breathe.  I’m not used to being kept under lock and key, K. I’ve never been like that. I’ve always been independent. I’ve always been able to just come and go and take care of myself.”

He nods in agreement.

“It’s like I’m not even a person anymore. It’s like I’m a thing. Like a package he has to keep safe and sound. Do you know how dehumanizing that is? When you don’t even feel like a human being anymore? When you can’t even go into town on your own or meet people and make friends? It’s bullshit. And I get he doesn’t realize what he’s doing or that his brain is convincing him he has to be that way. It’s not his fault. I get that. But fuck, Kyle. I need a life. Outside of being a wife and a mother.”

“Have you ever actually brought his up to him or...?”

Esme nods and sips her tea, struggling to keep back the tears.  It’s frustration. Worry. Helplessness, almost.  “It doesn’t help. Because like I said, he doesn’t even know he’s doing it and doesn’t know just how bad it is.  And then I bring it up and he gets defensive and then I feel like a bad person for hurting his feelings. Which I am not trying to do. And this isn’t so much about me as it is about him. Because I’m worried about him.  Because sometimes it seems like he’s come so far and other times it feels like he’s either stuck where he is or he’s going backwards.  I don’t know what to do.  To help him.”

“What about this therapist you guys are seeing? The marriage counsellor or whatever.”

“We haven’t been since a month before Addie was born. Just because all of the problems I was having trying to get her where she was until she was healthy enough to make her appearance. But we’re going back next week. That should be interesting,” she snorts.  “He’s been so relieved he hasn’t had to go. I can just imagine what the first session back is going to be like.”

“I thought he was going on his own too. For the PTSD.”

“He is. But I don’t know what the hell he talks about when he’s there. I don’t go with him, so....” she shrugs, then drags her hand through her hair and places her elbow on the table, forehead resting on her palm. “.... I just don’t know what to do for him. And I can’t just sit back and let him struggle.  He’s trying so hard, K.  To put everything else behind him. To just concentrate on a normal life. On being a husband and a father. And he’s amazing at both of those things.  He really is.  I just thought it wouldn’t be this hard, I guess. That he’d be able to just walk away and leave everything else behind. But there’s so much in there; in his head. And it just won’t leave him alone.  It won’t let him rest.”

“You can only do so much, kid.  I know that’s not the answer you want to hear. And I wish I had something better to tell you. He just needs more time. It’s only been six months.  Half a year to get over things that have been adding up for what? Two decades? He hasn’t had the easiest go of it. It’s probably hard for him to get used to having a good life.  It’s not what he’s known, right? The job was his life. And then you came along, and everything changed. And that’s not a slight on you. I’m not saying you totally fucked him up even more. Because you coming along was a good thing. Probably the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”

She snorts. “Sometimes I wonder about that.”

“I’m just saying that it’s going to take longer than six months to fix things. To fix him. And that’s not your job, Esme. Just because you’re his wife doesn’t mean it’s entirely up to you. He’s making the effort, right? To fix shit?”

She nods.

“And he’s got the therapist and doctors keeping an eye on him. You’re not the only one that is dealing with this. Stop trying to take it all on yourself. It’s hard, I know. You’ve always been the type to want to take on everything on your own. Even when we were kids. But you’ve got to worry about yourself too. You’ve got your own shit going on and you’ve got five little ones that need their mom to take care of herself. They want to see you happy and healthy.”

“I’m not their only parent,” she reminds him.  “I’m not doing this on my own. And I don’t want to do this on my own.”

“And he’s working on shit, right? He is getting better. Even if it’s slowly. Those kids deserve a mom and a dad that take care of themselves. Where would they be without either of you? Fucked. That’s where they’d be. Who’s going to take them if something happens to you guys? Tyler doesn’t have any family, I’m all the way on the other side of the world practically.”

“But you’d do it. If you had to.”

“Take the kids?  In a heartbeat.  No questions asked. But I can’t just run here whenever you’re having a hard time. I want to, but I can’t. You know that.”

“I know...” she runs the palms of her hands along the side of her mug. “...I just...I don’t know...I wish you were closer, that’s all.”

“Well you never know what could happen, right? After Nik and I tie the knot. Maybe this will be one of the places she wants to settle down in. We’ve been making a list. Talking about it a lot. Where we’d like to put down roots.”

“You wouldn’t stay in Colorado?”

“If that’s where she wants to be, sure.  But once you left, there wasn’t much there for me anymore. I’m the black sheep now. In the family. And to be honest, I kind of like it. Everyone leaves me the hell alone.  I don’t have to put up with anyone’s bullshit.  They just keep their distance and I’m good with it. So it wouldn’t really matter if I left. I’d pretty much follow her anyway.”

“Okay wait a second...” Esme laughs. “....is that the same shit you gave me hell for? Just taking off and starting a new life?”

“At least I’m giving everyone a warning and letting them get a chance to get used to it. You just did it. Which took some balls, by the way. That took huge balls. Just saying ‘fuck everything’ and sticking around for some guy you barely knew. And before you argue with me about that, fucking someone for five days is not really knowing them, so....”

She gives a sly smile. “That was one hell of a five days, let me tell you.”

“I know you ruffled a lot of feathers when you did you, but I was proud as hell. My kid sister just not giving a fuck about anyone or anything. That was a ballsy move. I was impressed. And you know who else would have been? Dad.”

“Dad would have been pissed and you know it. That I gave everything up for a man? Remember how he used to drill it into my head growing up that I needed to be strong and independent and rely on no one but myself? Because I remember that.”

“You were a teenager. His tone would have changed once you became an adult.”

“Well he didn’t get that far, did he,” she sighs, and fights back tears.

“He would have been so proud of you kid. For doing what you did. And for the life you’ve created for yourself. You can’t tell me he wouldn’t be. And those kids? He would have adored those kids and you know it.”

“I know,” her voice cracks and she swipes at the tears that manage to escape. “That’s the hardest part, you know. That he didn’t get to see them. Because he was so good with all his other grandkids. He got a chance to meet them and spend time with everyone else's kids. It’s not fair. That he didn’t get that chance with mine.”

“It does suck. It sucks huge. You were his first girl. That was a massive deal for him. A girl after all those boys? He would have been extra close to those kiddos. I know he would have.”

“I didn’t think it would bother me as much as it does,” she admits. “I mean, he’s been gone for twenty years now, K. And some days it hurts just as much now as it did then. Sometimes I’ll look at the kids and they’ll do something or say something that reminds me so much of him and I think ‘I should call him or send him a picture’. And then I remember that I can’t.  And that hurts. It hurts a lot.”

“I know,” he reaches out and rubs her arm comfortingly.  “Sometimes it comes up and bites me in the ass too.”

“Can you not talk about this?”  she sniffles and uses the sleeve of her sleeve of her swimsuit cover up to clear away the tears. “I really do not want to talk about this.”

He gives a sympathetic smile, then picks up her empty mug and shakes it. “More?”

She nods. “Thanks.”

They fall into a comfortable silence; Kyle moving easily around the kitchen as he prepares more tea and searches the cupboards and the fridge for something to eat. Settling on a large bowl of leftover fruit salad and a container of yogurt, preparing plates for both of them.  

“Holy domestic,” Esme teases, when he sets down the mug of tea and the plate of food.  

“Well it’s not like I had to actually cook anything or prepare it myself,” he points out, and drops into his chair once more.  “But I’ve been picking up some new skills. If I’m going to be a husband, I need to be able to more than just use a can opener or a microwave, I figure.”

“Especially since I know that Nik can’t cook for shit,” she laughs.

“Right? If there was a way to burn cereal, she would do it. If I eat another plate of half cooked pasta, I may snap.”

“But I bet you keep your mouth shut so you won’t hurt her feelings, right? Don’t worry. I get it. Tyler used to do the same thing. The first year was nothing but shitty meals. And he’d just sit there and suck it up and eat whatever I fed him. He was such a good sport. And it wasn’t bad enough to kill him, so...” she shrugs.  

“You guys have come a long way, that’s for sure.”

She nods in agreement.  

They don’t speak for several minutes; enjoying the view of the ocean and each other’s company and the little sounds that Addie makes her in sleep.

“You know mom’s sick, right?” Kyle pipes up.

“Denny called me just after Addie was born and told me.”  Denny. Daniel. The second oldest.  A state police officer with more ego than common sense and good taste.

“Yeah, he kind of took that over. I wanted to call you, but he insisted that he do it.  And once Denny gets set on something...”

“He’s a total dick,” Esme concludes. “He called and hung up twice because Tyler answered. Like, grow up.”

“Tyler scares the shit out of him. And Denny doesn’t scare easily.”

“Fuck, Denny. He called for one thing and then went off on a rant about me being so far away and only thinking about myself and how selfish and childish I am and blah blah blah.  I don’t need his shit. And I won’t put up with it. Tyler finally got on the phone and lost his shit on him. It was epic. And so perfect. I don’t think Denny will be phoning again for a quite a while.”

“He means well, but...”

“As Millie would say ‘he’s a dick head’.  But yes. He told me mom is sick. And? What do you want me to do about it?”

“You’re her daughter.”

“No. I’m not. I’m dead to her, remember? Those were her exact words. That if I stayed with Tyler, me and the kids were dead to her.”

“A lot of shitty things were said that night,” Kyle reasons.

“She’s been saying shitty things for years. Why does that one night surprise you so much?”

“You can’t carry that around forever, Esme. The things she’s said and done. You just can’t.”

“Really? You just watch me.  She’s toxic, K.  She wished death on my husband. That is not okay. That is far from okay. And I’m not going to be around someone like that. And I’m definitely not letting my kids be around something like that.”

“It’s bad, Esme. Worse than the doctors initially thought. That cancer’s metastasized. It’s spreading quick.  Alarmingly quick.”

“Not my problem, Kyle. I can’t do anything about it. I’m not a doctor.”

“She’s your mother.”

“She was never a mother and you know that. Stop making her out to be Carol Brady or June Cleaver. She’s more what Captain Spaulding from House of a Thousand Corpses would be like if he became a parent.”

“She wants to see you,” he says once again.

“Good for her. I’m not interested. She spoke her truth, Kyle. About how she feels about me and my husband and my kids. There’s no taking that back.”

“I’m not asking you to forgive her. Because what she said is unforgivable. I’m asking you to just go and see her and talk to her. Hear what she has to say.”

“That woman won’t have anything good to say to me. Even on her death bed.”

“Do you really want that on your conscience? Not going to see her before she dies? You really want to be holding onto that?”

“I’m not the one who should have a guilty conscience. I hope her conscience bothers her to her last breath. But I know it won’t. Because she has no conscience. She has no heart. She’s evil, Kyle. Always has been. And maybe this is karma. Maybe all her shit has finally caught up to her.”

He frowns. “That’s pretty harsh, don’t you think.”

“I said what I said,” she drops her fork onto her plate and stands up when Addie begins to fuss in the swing. “You won’t change my mind, Kyle. So you can stop while you’re ahead. Quit wasting your time.  I feel nothing towards her. And she deserves that.”

He sighs heavily. “Esme...”

“My mother died a long time ago,” she says, and carries Addie from the room.

[jlalafics]

Part Three of “Rent Control”

So there I was, hellbent on just having three parts...and now there’s a fourth coming.

In the meantime, enjoy this next part of the story. 

If you haven’t read the other parts, follow the links below:

Part One

Part Two

Summary: Katniss Everdeen has found the perfect home in San Francisco—great neighborhood, an easy commute and, best of all, it’s rent controlled. There’s only one problem; the landlord will only rent to a married couple.

Enter Peeta Mellark.

_____

Rent Control

Part Three

One month later…

“Hey there, Mrs. Mellark!”

Katniss grinned at the dark-skinned man at the front counter. “Hey, Thresh! Is Peeta ready?”

“He’s just in the back finishing up with the inventory,” he informed her. “Feel free to go in and check on him—make sure he hasn’t drowned in coffee beans.”

She nodded, waving before rushing into the back room, her thoughts on everything that had happened since that first kiss. It had been an interesting month for them. They had decided to give ‘dating’ a try—and by dating she meant fantastic make-out sessions and mind-blowing sex.

If Katniss had known how great sex could be in her pretend marital bed, she may have considered marriage much sooner.

Part of her knew that it wasn’t all about the sex, there was also the ‘after’ of it all. The kisses against her sweaty temple, the feeling of his strong arms encircling her waist so she could play the small spoon. When Katniss was in her husband’s arms, she felt safe…and loved.

Ahh…love. That was a much more complicated subject between them.

“Peeta?” she called out as she opened the door to the breakroom. “You ready?”

Silence.

Katniss walked further down toward the open doorway of the stockroom, finding it empty.

“Where the hell is he?”

There was suddenly a set of arms rounding her waist and rough lips against her ear.

“Tell me—” Katniss groaned as teeth nipped gently on her lobe. “Does the smell of coffee do anything for you?”

She chuckled quietly, her hand reaching back to run her fingers through his pomade-maneuvered locks.

“I do adore a blond roast,” Katniss said as her hair was moved aside, and soft kisses were stamped on her neck. “Or a Sumatra…”

“Hey!” She turned as an indignant Peeta pulled away. “That’s Starbucks!” He put his hand to his forehead dramatically. “How could you?”

Laughing, Katniss wrapped her arms around his neck, her lips in a mock pout. “I’m sorry.”

Peeta grinned, his blue eyes shining at her. “At least you love a blond roast.” He planted a full kiss on her lips. “Hello, wife.”

“Hello, husband,” she greeted back. “Are you ready?”

“Peeta!” Thresh suddenly called out. “I’m heading out, locking the door behind me!”

“Got it!” Peeta called out. “See you tomorrow!”

Peeta turned back to her. “Just going to save my inventory numbers, then we can go.” Katniss nodded in agreement. “But, first…would you be interested in learning about our variety of roasts?”

She raised a brow. “What?”

He placed his hands on her shoulders, leading her towards the stock room.

Peeta’s mouth went behind her ear—her weak spot!—as he pressed himself against her backside.

Suddenly, she had a deep need to learn about coffee.

++++++

“You dirty, little sex monkey!”

“Mommy?”

Annie turned to Jack, playing on the rug adjacent to them.

“Sorry, honey…just excited about Aunt Katniss’ story!” After a wide-eyed Jack went back to playing with his blocks, Annie turned back to her friend. “I always wanted to try doing it at work.”

“You own a restaurant, so I’m sure it’s possible,” Katniss responded. “On the other hand, it sounds totally unsanitary.”

Annie and Jack had wandered up into the apartment when Finnick had cajoled Peeta into a game of one-on-one at a nearby park. It was the great part about living in the building; everyone had an open-door policy and it wasn’t unusual for the Odairs—or anyone else, for that matter—to just pop in. Katniss was more than happy to welcome the very pregnant mother and son into their much-more-decorated apartment.

More photos lined the mantle, including one from their welcome party featuring everyone in the building, gifted to them by Effie. The couch, previously owned by the Odairs, was charcoal grey and so plush that Katniss often found herself sinking into the cushions for a nap after a long day at the boutique. Peeta often found her passed out on it when he got home and would have to carry her into their bedroom.

Not like he minded.

Their cream and grey rug matched it perfectly and it had been cushy enough for them to lounge on when they had no furniture. Now Jack sat on it, looking up at Katniss adorably with his sea-green eyes.

“Yeah, but it’s the thrill of being caught.” Annie sighed; her eyes closed. “Oh, to be young and in love…”

Katniss laughed. “Annie! You’re the same age as me!”

“I know, but it’s hard to have alone time when you have a toddler starfishing in your bed,” her friend responded.

“Starfishing?”

Annie threw her arms and legs out. “See? Like a starfish. Finnick would have to maneuver over Jack to even hold my hand!”

“Poor, horny Annie.” Katniss patted her arm. “If you ever need us to babysit Jack, we would be happy to. Especially before the twins get here.”

Annie blinked back tears. “I would love that…I really am terribly horny.”

The two women burst into laughter.

“So, this is where the hot girls are!”

They looked to the doorway where Finnick and Peeta stood, matching grins on their faces.

“Daddy!” Jack ran to his father and Finnick easily scooped him up. “Horny.”

Peeta turned to the women on the couch.

“What exactly were you talking about?”

++++++

“So, why primroses?” Beetee asked as he knelt in front of the patch of soil. “I think they’re going to look great in the spring.”

Katniss settled next to him, handing him a spade so he could continue tending to the garden.

“Primrose is my sister’s name,” she explained. “And, besides Peeta—she is the person that I’m closest to.”

“That’s lovely.” Beetee sat back and gave her a gentle smile. “They are a perfect addition to our garden.”

Effie had informed her and Peeta that each new tenant contributed to the garden by picking out a plant or flower to be added, courtesy of Beetee. The tradition started when she and Haymitch first bought the building. They planted a lemon tree that stood in the back corner of the yard and it was used regularly by tenants as well as neighbors.

“How’s it going?” They turned to find Peeta walking over. Holding a hand out to Katniss, he helped her up before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “The primroses look beautiful; your sister will be flattered that she’s an addition to the garden.”

“I’m going to send her a picture later,” Katniss informed him. A sweet breeze swept through the yard and she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. “It’s the perfect weather today.”

“I agree,” Beetee said. “As an old girlfriend of mine said, this is date night weather.”

Peeta chuckled. “Seems like she was majorly hinting.”

Beetee shook his head. “Maybe that’s why we never passed the six-month mark. I was a bit dense in the romance department.” He grinned as he stood up. “What was your first date night like?”

“Uh…” Katniss suddenly felt jumbled, her brain going through many scenarios but not quite landing on the right one. “So…I can’t remember.” She turned to Peeta. “Sorry, babe.”

“Yeah, well, it isn’t your fault,” he told her easily before looking to Beetee. “We never had a real official date. It was more like coffee hangouts and movie nights.”

“Well, get on that boy!” Beetee pronounced.

Peeta turned to her. “How would you like to go on a date?” His cheeks were tinged pink with embarrassment. “One without coffee or Netflix.”

Katniss found herself beaming at him. “I’d love to.”

++++++

“I like that dress,” Peeta said from across the dinner table.

Katniss looked down at the flowy rust-orange dress before meeting his eyes once more.

“I borrowed it from Effie…actually I think she gave it to me. She said I had the hips for it—whatever that means.”

“I bet you it was better than the little talk that Haymitch gave me about not getting fresh with a lady,” he told her.

She leaned forward, making sure that he could see the bit of cleavage from the V-neck opening of the dress.

“But what if the lady wants to get fresh with you?”

“You’re going to get me in trouble,” Peeta replied as he reached for his very full glass of wine.

“I know, but I haven’t steered you wrong so far,” she told him. Her eyes looked around the cozy restaurant, furnished with wood tables and vintage chairs. “Annie did a great job with this place. It could use a greenery wall in the back to give more of that homey feel that it already has.”

“You’re definitely a Design Major.” Peeta gazed at her, his eyes lit with warmth. “Why did you decide on Johanna’s instead of going for a design firm? Not like it’s not great place or anything...”

Katniss shrugged. “I didn’t want to work under anyone. I always wanted to design on my own.” She met his eyes. “At least with Johanna, she gives me some sort of creative outlet. She’s less of a boss and more like a friend who happens to pay me.”

“You have free rein on the apartment, you know.” He reached over and took her hand. “Maybe when I finally get Mellark Bakery over to the west coast, you can design the layout for the space—if you’re not too in-demand by then.”

Katniss squeezed his hand in response. “I will always make time for you…for us.”

Peeta leaned down to press a kiss to her knuckles. “I hope that’s for a long time.”

She really…really hoped so, too.

“Katniss?”

Looking up, Katniss almost fell off her chair. “Gale?”

Her high school boyfriend stared at her nervously, his grey eyes fleeting between her and Peeta.

“I’m here with some work colleagues,” he informed her before nodding at the bar where a group of similarly suited men stood, along with a pretty blonde in a black dress who seemed to be staring her down. “Just a little catch-up with the firm.”

“Our neighbor is the executive chef and owner,” Peeta suddenly piped in.

Katniss gave his hand an assuring squeeze before looking to Gale. “This is Peeta Mellark—my husband.”

Gale looked taken aback but gathered himself quickly. “Gale Hawthorne—a friend of Katniss’.”

He held out his hand for Peeta to shake.

Peeta took his hand, shaking it, his own stare firm.

“Oh, come now—you’re a little more than that. Katniss and I don’t keep secrets from each other.”

“Yeah, I followed him here.” Her eyes went to Peeta, her lips rising in a smile. “But if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met you.”

“Then, I guess I owe Gale,” he replied, his own gaze on her. Peeta looked up at the man. “Thank you for bringing her to me.”

“No problem…I guess,” Gale said tightly. “Listen, I have to get going, but it was great seeing you again—and it was great meeting you, Peeta.”

“Of course,” they chorused together.

Katniss met Gale’s eyes. Once upon a time, she couldn’t look at him without swooning and after they broke up, she couldn’t think about him without her chest squeezing in pain.

Now, as she looked at him, she felt nothing.

“Goodbye, Gale.”

Giving her a tight smile, he stumbled off to rejoin his group.

Peeta looked. “You okay?”

Katniss nodded, cupping his cheek before leaning across the table to place a gentle kiss on his lips. Her heart leapt hearing his content sigh against her mouth.

They pulled apart, their eyes never straying from one another.

“I’ve never been better,” she told him as they stood to leave.

Together, they walked hand in hand out of the restaurant.

They didn’t even notice Gale frantically texting on his phone.

++++++

“Do you think you got enough flour?” Katniss teased as they walked into their apartment building. “I mean, I can understand one bag, but four…you are insane.”

“You have to understand that these are not just any old flours,” Peeta said, his arm reaching around her waist to pull her close. “One is regular white flour, one is coconut, one is almond, and the other whole wheat. They may seem the same, but they have different effects. Plus, they are all local. Imagine if I opened Mellark Bakery, I would need a place to buy flour and why not local?”

“Farmers’ Markets have never been this interesting.” Katniss reached into her bag as they reached their floor. “I have to drop off some stuff to Annie and Beetee. Come with me?”

“Of course.” Together, they walked up the flight of stairs and into the open door of the Odairs’ apartment. “Hello?”

On the weekends, everyone usually left their door open for visits from one another. It had been an interesting first weekend for them when Effie came knocking and they had to scramble to make themselves presentable.

“We’re in here!” Finnick’s voice came from the back of the apartment. “Bedroom!”

“You better not be naked!” Katniss responded as they carefully walked down the hallway to the room. “I brought the honey that Annie wanted.”

“Please don’t tell us that you’re doing something that you’ll need the honey for!” Peeta said as he closed his eyes.

Katniss peeked into the room, letting out a sigh. “Open your eyes, Peeta.”

Annie, Finnick, and Jack were all on the bed, their friend’s belly exposed.

“Hey Mellarks,” Finnick greeted with a jaunty smile. “We were just listening to the babies.”

It was then that they noticed the pair of earbuds resting on Annie’s stomach along with a small box.

“It’s to catch the fetal heartbeat,” Annie explained as she scooted up. She turned the box over to show them a small probe as she placed an earbud in one of her ears. “All I do is move it…here.” Annie handed Katniss the other earbud. “Listen.”

Carefully, Katniss sat on the edge of the bed next to Annie and took the earbud, placing it in her ear.

“Hear that?” Annie said to her. “That galloping is the heartbeat of one of the twins.”

Katniss felt her heart pound when the sound of galloping hit her ears. “I hear it!” Her mouth rose into a grin. “That’s amazing!”

Her eyes met Peeta’s, warmth in his own. For a moment, Katniss wondered how he might be like as a father. Probably great—better than she would be as a mother, anyway.

She turned back to Annie, who beamed at her. “I know that look.” Her friend nodded at her husband in the doorway. “It’s that look guys get when they’re trying to figure out how to plant their seed in you.”

“That’s…descriptive,” Katniss replied. “But, it’s still so early for that.”

“Are you sure?” Annie questioned, peering at her curiously. “We’re the same age and I had Jack about three years ago...but it might be different for you two.”

Looking back at Peeta, Katniss felt her heart sink at the thought that maybe later he might be having children with someone else.

“Yeah, maybe,” she managed to muster.

++++++

“Gorgeous artichokes,” Beetee said as he peeked into the bag that Peeta handed him. “Thanks for bringing these over.” He placed them on his kitchen island. “An old friend of mine is coming down from Portland and I’m cooking her dinner tonight.”

“Friend, huh?” Katniss chuckled seeing the man go scarlet.

“I’ve known Wiress since forever,” he told them plainly.

“But sometimes it can become more,” Peeta said. “Katniss and I were friends for a good few months then, all of a sudden, it was like I couldn’t live without her.”

She whipped around. “Really?”

Peeta went to her, lifting her chin. “I mean, who could live without these smoky eyes?” His hand went to her cheek. “Or these freckles?” Leaning down, he traced her lips with his thumb. “Or this bow on her lip?”

“Very descriptive,” Beetee told them with a small smile. “I will keep that in mind.” There was a beep and the man reached into his pocket to pull out his phone. “Effie is calling you down.”

“We have to get these into our place and then we’ll head over,” Peeta said. “I’ll bring up a loaf for tonight’s special dinner. It will go great with that raspberry spread that we got you.”

“Thanks.” The man waved them off. “Now, go—you’ve made me nervous!”

They laughed as they walked down the flight of stairs to their floor.

“I wonder what Effie wants,” Peeta said as they took their last step down.

“Probably just wondering what our plans are for tonight,” Katniss said.

He put an arm around her. “I was hoping for a quiet night of me and you—and The Great British Bake Off.”

Katniss quickly pressed a kiss to his lips as they stepped into their apartment.

“As long as you cook then I’m game for anything.”

“Katniss Everdeen—how could you!”

She turned to find her mother standing in front of them, the framed photo of their ‘wedding’ in her hands.

++++++

“Mom?”

Katniss was definitely the spitting image of the woman standing in front of them.

Except this woman looked pissed.

“Katniss!” A young blonde suddenly appeared and hugged his wife. Peeta recognized Prim immediately, despite the fact that she wasn’t wearing pigtails like her photo on their mantle. When Prim pulled away, her blue eyes were panicked, and the girl got closer to Katniss. “I was texting you…”

“My phone service sucks,” Katniss said, quietly bewildered. “It’s hard to get a signal when you’re on the train.”

Prim looked between them. “Why did you never mention…” She looked to Peeta. “…him?”

Katniss turned to him. “We are so fucked.”

The sound of laughter echoed in the hall and they all turned to find Effie and Haymitch, accompanied by a dark-haired man. They were all holding glasses of what was looked like Haymitch’s favorite rum.

“Katniss, your father is such a charmer,” Effie said as they entered the apartment. The woman went to her, eyebrows furrowed. “You look grey.”

“Stephen.” They all looked to Katniss’ mother, still gripping the wedding photo. “Look.”

Katniss let out a pained moan and Peeta pulled her close to keep her from keeling over.

Her father took the photo, staring at it for a moment before giving it back to his wife.

Silently, he walked over to them and Peeta braced himself. Katniss’ father was a burly man and he had that look about him—like he could hurl his daughter’s fake husband down the building’s stairs.

“Congratulations, baby,” he said softly before holding his hand out to Peeta. “Stephen Everdeen—your father-in-law.”

Carefully, Peeta shook his father-in-law’s hand—just in case it was a trick and he was actually going to break his wrist.

Katniss lifted her head from his shoulder to look at her dad. “You’re not mad?”

“When Hazelle called and told us that Gale insisted that we come to San Francisco, I thought the worst!” he informed her.

“This isn’t the worst-case scenario?” his wife suddenly burst out.

“Katniss, Peeta—you hid this from your parents?” Effie scolded. “For a year?”

“You’ve been married for a year?” Katniss’ mother screeched.

“Robin, you made it seem like something terrible happened—like she had married Gale!” Her dad said. He looked to where Katniss and Peeta clung to one another. “This I can deal with. I mean, he looks completely harmless.”

Peeta wasn’t sure if he felt insulted or flattered. Behind him, Haymitch guffawed at the man’s words.

“I didn’t realize that you hated my best friend’s son that much.” Katniss’ mother had crossed her arms, scowling at her husband.

“Honey, that is not what I meant.” Stephen went to his wife. “You know that he was a tool who dropped our daughter like a hot potato as soon as he discovered the joy of college girls. Is that what you wanted for our girl?”

“No,” Katniss’ mother said petulantly. “But, married for a year?” She looked to Katniss, her eyes watering. “Why not tell us?”

“We’re sorry,” Katniss said quietly. “We planned to, but then it just got too hard.”

“And, before we knew it, it was a year,” Peeta finished for them. “My parents don’t know either, if that helps.”

“It doesn’t,” Prim told him bluntly. “I’m Prim, by the way…your sister-in-law.”

There was a sharp whistle and they all turned to see Haymitch at the doorway.

“Now that we are all caught up, might I suggest that we get some rest and then meet up for dinner in the backyard,” their landlord said. “Mr. and Mrs. Everdeen will stay in our guest room. Prim can stay on Katniss and Peeta’s couch, if that’s okay with her.”

“I’m cool with that,” Prim said, eyeing the couple.

“Robin, would you like a drink?” Effie asked, approaching Katniss’ still shell-shocked mother.

The woman nodded and, with a wink from their landlord, Robin was whisked off to the Abernathy apartment.

Immediately after the apartment door across shut, Prim turned on them.

“Now, what’s really going on?”

++++++

“Oh shit.”

Peeta set down the plate of buns and homemade jam before joining Katniss and Prim on their couch.

“Yeah, I know,” Katniss agreed as she took Peeta’s hand. It had taken an hour to explain the whole complicated tale that they had woven to Prim—enough time for Peeta to start therapeutically baking. “But, we’re happy.”

He kissed the side of her head. “We are.”

“But, you’re lying,” Prim replied as she took a bun and tore it open. “Everyone thinks you’re married!” She looked to Peeta as she took the butter knife on the plate and smeared jam all over the bun. “Your parents don’t even know. How long do you think you can keep this up?”

“We had agreed on a year,” Katniss told her sister. “But, you’re right, we should tell everyone.”

Prim took a bite of the bun and her eyes went wide. “Oh damn! This is delicious!” She looked to Peeta and grinned through her chews. “Now I can understand why my sister pretend-married you. She can’t cook anything.”

“Hey!” Katniss looked to her sister incredulously. “That’s not fair. His family has a bakery!”

“I’m not with Katniss because of any of that,” Peeta told her sister. “I care for her. I want to be with her—for as long as she wants…”

Katniss felt her eyes burn at his words. “You do?”

Peeta pressed his forehead to hers, his blue eyes glowing. “I do.”

“You two are just the cutest fakest couple ever,” Prim concluded as she polished off the last of the buns. “Are there any more?”

++++++

It was during dinner that the other shoe was dropped.

“I’ve decided that you’re going to have a proper wedding,” Katniss’ mother pronounced.

Everyone had gathered except for Beetee who was having his dinner with Wiress. Their neighbor had introduced her on everyone, a blush on his cheeks that matched the shy woman’s scarlet complexion.

The Odairs had joined them and, at Katniss’ insistence, Johanna. She could always count on Johanna to keep things civil—or be a distraction.

Katniss looked over to where her mother sat next to Effie, who apparently, she had become quite buddy-buddy with. “What?”

“Since you decided to leave us out of your official wedding, I think it’s only right that we have another ceremony with both our families,” her mother informed her.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea!” Effie agreed, her eyes bright. “However, that does take a lot of time—planning a wedding.”

“I used to be an event planner when the girls were still little,” Robin explained. “So, it’s a no-brainer for me. Getting it done in two weeks might be a little difficult, but we can’t take any more time away since Stephen has so many patients that need him at the clinic.”

“Two weeks?” The comment came from Peeta, who had suddenly gone pale. Underneath the table, the grip on Katniss’ hand had suddenly tightened. “And, I haven’t told my parents—”

“No need,” Katniss’ mother replied. “I have already called them and introduced myself. They should be arriving in a day or two.”

“How did you even get their contact information, mom?” Prim asked, next to Johanna.

Haymitch cleared his throat. “I might’ve had Beetee get their contact information.” He avoided Katniss’ glare. “Also, Google.”

“I have a great idea,” Effie said. “We can do the ceremony here in the garden, along with the reception. There’s more than enough room…and I know someone who can design a lovely arch for the ceremony to take place under.”

“I can do the catering,” Annie added from her seat. “I know a few bakeries willing to make a wedding cake for me, too.”

“I’ll take care of the music,” Finnick said, rubbing his wife’s back. “Beetee can help with connecting a sound system.”

Robin nodded in approval until she reached Johanna. “And, what will you contribute?”

For the first time since Katniss had met Johanna, she could tell that her friend was flustered.

“Um…I guess bridesmaid dresses and such?”

“What about a wedding gown?” her mother probed.

Johanna squirmed. “I don’t think I have anything like that—"

“Wait! Katniss can use mine!” Effie called out excitedly. “It was awhile ago, but I think the silhouette is still in fashion.” She smiled warmly at Katniss. “It would be an honor if you would.”

Katniss could see the tears in Effie’s eyes—how could she refuse?

She turned to Peeta who looked like he was about to faceplant into his plate any moment now, before turning to her landlord.

“I would love that.”

++++++

“I’m exhausted.” Katniss flopped on the bed, closing her eyes as Peeta joined her wearily. “You okay?”

“Other than the fact that both of our families have swarmed into our lives like locusts?” He chuckled quietly. “I guess I’m okay.” She opened her own eyes to find him gazing at her. “Come here. I need to hold you.”

She shifted to lay her head on his chest, her arm splaying across his stomach. “I’m sorry that this is such a mess.”

“When do we tell them?” he asked her.

“When your parents arrive.” she suggested.

Peeta turned his head towards her. “Katniss, I’m not ready to give you up.”

She looked up at him, her hand reaching for his cheek. “Neither am I…does it have to end badly though?”

“Effie and Haymitch…everyone else…they’re going to hate us,” Peeta replied. “I don’t want them to.”

“I know.” Katniss swallowed the lump in her throat. “They’re like…”

“Family,” he finished for her. “And, Katniss, you know…” Peeta stopped to sit them both up, his expression serious before meeting her stare. “You know that I lo—”

“KATNISS! PEETA! Open up!”

They shot out of bed, pulling open their door and heading down the hallway to the frantic knocking coming from their front door.

Prim sat up sleepily from the couch. “W-What’s going on?”

Opening the door, they found Finnick with Jack in his arms and a panting Annie, holding a bag.

“It’s time,” he told them before handing Jack to Peeta. Thankfully, the little boy was fast asleep. “We’ll call you guys as soon as we can.”

“Of course,” Peeta agreed, patting Jack’s back.

“Do you have everything?” Katniss asked. “Or, do you need us to call anyone?”

“No…” Annie breathed out. “We have no other family…just you guys…”

Katniss felt something tighten in her chest at her friend’s words.

“Of course.” She gave Annie and Finnick a hug. “Don’t worry. We’ll take care of Jack.”

“Good luck,” Peeta added.

Closing the door, they looked at one another then at Prim, who was already falling back asleep, before their eyes went to Jack.

“I guess we have another addition to our bed,” Katniss whispered.

Peeta shifted the toddler in his arms. “Guess so.”

Prim snorted, somewhere between dreams and sleep.

“Perfect birth control for those imaginary children that you’re trying to prevent!”

Katniss chuckled, ignoring her sister’s words. “Let’s get him to the room.”

It was later that night as she watched Jack and Peeta sleep that she realized just how much Prim’s remark had affected her.

Katniss did want children. Deep inside—in that small vulnerable space that she kept hidden away—is where she admitted that she maybe wanted them with Peeta.

++++++

Within the next few days, there were several new additions to the building.

Sarah and Rose Odair arrived in the wee hours of the morning. While born early, both were perfectly healthy, and sporting their father’s fiery locks. Annie and the girls were released after a day or two and everyone, especially Effie, were excited for their arrival.

Peeta, along with Stephen and Haymitch, helped build the nursery since the parents didn’t have the chance. It was then that Peeta got to know his faux father-in-law. He was an oncologist at a prominent hospital and clinic where his hours were long, but the job was fulfilling.

“What do you want to do career-wise?” Stephen asked as they sat in the half-done nursery, which was also Jack’s room—whenever he decided to sleep in it.

“My parents own a bakery in Washington D.C. It’s called Mellark Bakery, of course,” Peeta started. “And, I wanted to expand it to the West Coast. I majored in Business and created a pretty solid plan…but they still need convincing.”

Stephen chuckled as he finished bolting one side of the crib that the twins would be sharing.

“I’ve been there,” the man told him. “My parents were unsure of my plans to go to medical school. I was a bit of rebel—caused all kinds of trouble in high school—and so they also needed convincing. Hand me that flathead?”

Peeta handed him the necessary screwdriver. “And, how did you convince them?”

“I didn’t. Robin did,” Stephen said. “She has a lot of conviction—like Katniss.” He went back to tightening the bolt. “Maybe you might want to have Katniss convince your parents.”

Peeta shook his head. “I wouldn’t want her to do that. I mean, I’m glad she supports me, but I need them to have faith in me—if this business plan is going to work.”

Stephen stopped, placing the screwdriver down, before turning to him.

“That’s how I know you’ll be good for my girl. You want her to walk beside you, not behind or in front. You’re equals. I love my wife, but she had a lot of work when she took me on!” The man laughed. “And if Katniss had been with Gale, she would be his little wife, playing hostess and such. I never wanted that for her.”

“If anyone really knows Katniss, they would know that she was never meant to be on the sidelines.”

The man grinned at him, patted his shoulder, before they both fell back into working on the crib.

++++++

The Mellarks showed up the day after the twins came home. They arrived in a black Sedan, smartly dressed, and obviously curious about Peeta’s life in San Francisco.

Peeta’s father Christopher was tall and sandy-haired—it was obvious where Peeta had inherited his kind, blue eyes and bright smile from. Katniss almost swooned; she would never admit it to anyone though, thinking that Peeta would be the mirror image of his father when he was older.

Peeta’s mother Daphne was petite and slender with ice-blue eyes and a sharp face. However, when she saw Peeta, her mouth broke into a wide smile, bringing warmth to her expression.

“Darling!” She kissed her son on the cheek, pressing a bright-red lip imprint on him. “You look wonderful!”

Peeta raised his brows in confusion. “I do?”

“Happier,” his mother said before looking to Katniss. “This must be Katniss.” Daphne reached out her hand for Katniss to take. “I’m Daphne Mellark—your mother-in-law.”

“It’s wonderful to meet you, Mrs. Mellark,” Katniss said congenially.

“Please, call me Daphne…or Mom!” The woman told her.

“Daphne! Is that you?” Katniss’ mom was suddenly embracing the woman excitedly; the two were practically bouncing. “You’re just in time! Effie and I were just working on Katniss’ dress!”

“I can’t wait to see it!” Daphne exclaimed.

The two rushed off, hand in hand and skipping away.

“That was…weird,” Peeta said.

“Like watching two cheerleaders pumping themselves up for a competition,” Katniss added with an amused smile.

“Your mother is just excited to have some female company,” Peeta’s father informed the two. He hugged Peeta before extending a hand to Katniss. “Christopher—your father-in-law.”

Katniss shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, sir…and can I just say—wow.”

The man laughed before pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I think you’re going to be a great addition to the family.”

“Where are Bran and Alex?” Peeta asked.

“They were heading up when Prim and Johanna accosted them in the backyard. Couldn’t resist that Mellark charm,” his father replied with a grin. “I’m going to head to Effie and Haymitch’s. Your father and Haymitch promised me a great whiskey tasting while your mothers take over your wedding.”

“Oh good,” Katniss said weakly.

Peeta put an arm around her. “Let’s go see my brothers.”

They all separated in the hallway and together, Katniss and Peeta made their way downstairs.

“I have to warn you,” Peeta started. “My brothers can be…boisterous.”

“That’s fine,” she replied as they walked into the backyard door. “I just saw our moms bouncing like two sorority sisters on spring break.”

Peeta laughed, kissing her affectionately on the cheek.

“PEETA!”

Katniss yelped, seeing the two figures rush towards them. She hurried away, joining Prim and Johanna, both staring shamelessly at the three blonds.

“Bran! Alex! Quit it!” Peeta yelled.

“Oh no, little brother!” one of them responded.

“It’s time for the Mellark roundup—and you get to be in the middle!” the other added.

Katniss along with Prim and Johanna watched as the brothers jumped, Peeta helplessly in the middle, and began to shout:

“Mellark! Mellark! Mellark!”

“It’s like an all blond rugby match,” Katniss said in amazement.

“Or a really hot Swiss porn,” Johanna added.

“Can you see them in lederhosen?” Prim asked.

Simultaneously, they all tilted their heads trying to imagine the Mellark brothers in the get-up, suspenders and all.

They weren’t disappointed.

When the brothers separated, Peeta embraced them both before leading them to Katniss.

He reached for her hand, giving her a happy smile. “Bran, Alex—this is my Katniss.”

A rush of warmth engulfed her—she was his Katniss.

The taller blond in a business suit and leather loafers approached her. “Bran Mellark, the oldest…and the best.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Congratulations. I can tell that Peeta has himself a great girl.”

Alex bounced over to her. His hair was much lighter, and his blues were more like Daphne’s. However, the roundness of them were Peeta and Christopher’s.

“Sis…” He lifted her off the ground. “I can’t believe that Peeta snagged you. You know I’m still available.” Alex winked flirtatiously.

“I much prefer this particular Mellark,” Katniss said, her hand going to Peeta’s shoulder.

“Well, now that you’re part of the family…” Alex looked to Bran and nodded.

“You have to be part of the Mellark round-up,” Bran finished.

Katniss shook her head. “I’m good.”

However, they were already sandwiching her and Peeta between them.

“This is like a fantasy and a nightmare all at the same time,” she told Peeta.

Peeta grimaced. “This is my nightmare.”

There was nothing she could do about it now because they were already jumping.

Prim rushed over, tripping over her feet. “Let me join in! I’m your sister, too!”

“Wait!” Johanna was never one to be left out. “Me, too!”

Katniss met Peeta’s eyes as both her sister and friend joined in on the chanting, their arms wrapped around their very own Mellark brother:

“Mellark! Mellark! Mellark!”

Katniss smiled wryly.

“Now this is my nightmare.”

++++++

“Good evening, everyone.” Katniss’ father stood at the head of the table. “If we haven’t been properly introduced, I am Katniss’ father, Stephen. My wife along with Peeta’s parents, Christopher and Daphne, want to thank you for welcoming our families into your homes.” He looked out at the table of people, assembled outside in the backyard of the apartment. “We also want to thank Effie and Haymitch, who have welcomed our children, Katniss and Peeta, to become part of their makeshift family.”

Effie beamed and Haymitch put an arm affectionately around his wife’s shoulders.

“I know that it might seem fast to be having this wedding in a mere few days,” Stephen continued. “But, I guess that’s just the way things have fallen into place. From what we’ve been told, that’s how the first wedding happened.” He eyed Katniss and Peeta affectionately. “I am not too surprised, however. I know my girl, Katniss, and she has always instinctively known what was right.”

Immediately, Katniss’ chest began pounding. There was a slow balloon of air filling her chest and she swallowed it down, giving everyone a tight smile.

“Katniss was named after her grandmother, a woman of great conviction and bravery. A woman who was never afraid to tell the truth—even if it hurt…”

The balloon was getting bigger and Katniss gulped trying to catch her breath.

“…and when I first looked at my baby girl, I knew that she would be just like my mother—”

She couldn’t breathe!

Abruptly, Katniss gasped and pushed up from table. “E-Excuse me!”

“Sis, are you okay?” Prim asked from across the table.

She nodded, though her head was spinning. “I-I-I’ll be right back!”

Turning, Katniss rushed out of the yard and sprinted into the building. Gripping the stair railing, she pulled herself up towards her floor and practically flung herself into her apartment.

With a slam of the door, she felt the tears escape.

She was a fraud.

“Katniss?”

Peeta was closing the door behind him and she reached for him.

Immediately, he wrapped his arms around her, his hand going through her hair. “What’s going on?”

“All of them there…acting like a family…and us lying to them…” Katniss swiped her hand across her hands. “They’re all going to be heartbroken when they find out.”

Peeta nodded in understanding.

“Then…we don’t tell them.”

Katniss started at his words. “What?”

“We do the ceremony,” Peeta said. “And like we agreed, we move in one year…or just break up.” He looked torn. “It’s what we agreed on.”

“Well, that was before—”

Before she had fallen in love with him.

The realization hit hard.

And, she couldn’t breathe again.

 End of Part Three

  Yeah, I’m a liar. There’s going to be a part four. It was getting crazy long.

However, I’m sure the next part will be much shorter.

Thanks for reading y’all!

Until the end, JLaLa

[crazy-bi-btch]

Heathers : The Musical                     ( Riverdale Fic ) Part l

Summary: (Part l) Vanessa is trying to get over a boy that seems she can’t escape. Auditioning for Veronica Sawyer was probably a bittersweet move.

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Lodge! OC

Warning: angst, musical scenes, smut (future parts), cursing, drug use ( future parts)

A/N: SOOO I’ve had this plot in my head for so long ever since the musical episode. I hope y’all like it show some love to my other works also :) YES I PUT IN MUSICAL SCENES DON’T KILL ME OK BYEEE

~  

   I ran into school my leather jacket clinging to my wet body from the rain. I sighed as I pushed through the moody students of Riverdale high. I hate my life.

“ Get away serpent slut!” A River Vixen screeched as I bumped into her. She looked at me in disgust. I flipped her off, I would cuss her out but I was already late, missing 1st period again. 

 “ Watch it!” A football player yelled as I accidentally stepped on him. 

“ Fuck off.” I mumbled and made my way to the end of the hallway.

As I got closer towards the end of the hall I was faced with the school news and clubs bulletin board. My friends were lined up, they seemed to be signing something. Betty pries at Jugs arm almost pleading for him to sign it. Once I got closer they started chatting on the side.

“ Hey guys.” I commented just for courtesy but mostly just wanting to find out what this sign up was for.

“ Hey- woah, you’re really wet!” Veronica cried as she made her way towards me my wet hair instantly her hands. “ I’m fine.” I sighed, she shook her head in disapproval. It took her a minute to realize why I was staring at the bulletin board. 

“ You’re gonna audition?” She asked a hint of excitement in her tone. Then my eyes landed on the bold red letters

Heathers : The Musical

Holy shit

The pen that was once  hanging on the yarn was instantly in my hand, and writing my name next to the 2pm audition slot. Right blow me was none other than of course for, my luck, Sweet pea. 

“ Who would’ve known Vanessa, a theater kid?’” Jug and Veronica laughed, I rolled my eyes at them.

“ Give me a break guys, I need to do something fun, you know after-” Jug coughed as he realized where my response was going. You were going through a rough time. You were told by your sister Ronnie to “loosen up” and that there were more fish in the sea or whatever. So that’s what you were trying to do. Hopefully this musical will distract me.

“ Yeah, you’ll do great!” Betty cheered with a big smile. I smiled back at her, and sighed.” Well I hope I don’t embarrass myself instead of getting the part.”

“ Well I do know someone that could help you out if you really want to ace this.” Both V and B looked at each other. Jug and me were so lost, but then they were leading me towards the one and only Cheryl blossom. The mythic bitch.

 She was already in character, Heather Chandler of course.

“ Well Cheryl, I see your all set and ready for this musical.” Veronica teased as we startled her. She narrowed her eyes at us.

“ Cousin. Ronnie. Newbie Serpents.” I scoffed at my nickname. Cheryl was a cold bitch when she wanted but also she could be the sweetest person on planet earth. She could kill for someone that she loved. As also kill someone that hurts her in any way or shape possible. That’s just a Blossom thing I guess. “ What brings you to ruin my peaceful moment.”

“ Cheryl you were admiring yourself in a small locker mirror in a school full of dickwads. Opposite of peaceful.” I explained sarcastically, she glared at me, she fixed her bow before stepping closer to me. I gulped.

“ Don’t try me Ronnie 2.0” 

“ Cheryl!” Ronnie and Betty growled in annoyance. I got up to her level and stared back into her hazel cold eyes.

“ Cheryl I’m not here to fight. I’m here for help. The musical.” She smiled her white pearly whites practically blinding me  from the contrast from her cherry red lipstick. “ Please.” I spoke softly.

“ Well you’ve come to the right person, I mean I am Heather, I made myself Heather Chandler because who else,” She spoke delighted, “ I made Kevin agree, and your auditioning for?”

I sighed, blinking a couple times, I felt Betty’s eyes on me  also my sisters Ronnie . My cheeks flushed slightly. “ The role...of Veronica…” I mumbled, she rolled her eyes.

“ Clearly I should’ve seen it coming, See me after 2nd period in the music room we can practice their, now if you excuse me I’m going to look for my Titi.” Cheryl flashed one more bright smile before she spun around and pranced to look for her girlfriend. I groaned, mentally face palming myself for having Cheryl as my mentor. How did I agree to this?

“ Hey you’ll do great. Cheryl is good remember Carrie! You’re in good hands!” Ronnie held me in a hug trying to comfort me. Betty joined in on the hug also. Yeah I remember Carrie, who doesn’t a girl ended up dead on stage!

“ Just remember to not get on her ugly side you know how she gets.” The 3 of us laughed and slowly made our way to our second period class. 

-

I sat on the bench in the music room watching as Cheryl paced.

“ Beautiful? Out of all the songs; the opener?!” She hysterically cries, I knew she was being dramatic but it was putting me on edge. I had exactly 3 hours to practice. Yes I am skipping my classes I would much rather focus on this than anything else. ( stay in school kids and don’t ditch!!) 

She took a deep breath and exhaled and handed me a sheet of lyrics.

“ Show me what you got.” I stood up straight and began singing, some of the words off key. I was freaking scared. My voice shook , and my knees weak.

Cheryl closed her eyes and put her hands up. “ Stop.” She held my shoulders and looked into my insecure ones.

“ Vanessa, you know what screw it- Your Veronica. Feel it! Embrace it! Get in the Veronica mindset.” She cheered, I look a deep breath and remembered back to my favorite movie. “ Now Veronica let’s give you some inspiration shall we?” She taunted with a playful grin. I shot a confused look at her, when she started to pull me out into the empty hallway.

“ Now what do you see Veronica?” She asked her arms crossed, I stared at the empty hallways, the clock on the ends of the hallways ticking away, the blue lockers. 

“ A high school hallway, which is empty and it stinks.” I complained. She smirked.

“ Exactly, but empty? Try again.” Just on cue the bell rang to signal class was over. “ Now let's try this again.” She strutted towards the crowd signaling for me to start. 

“We were so tiny, happy and shiny

Playing tag and getting chased” I sang rubbing my elbow as tried following Cheryl.

“Freak! Slut! Loser! Short bus!” The kids in the crowd yelled at me, making me flinch.

“ Singing and clapping, laughing and napping

Baking cookies, eating paste

Then we got bigger, that was the trigger

Like the Huns invading Rome.” I sang back at the angry kids, Cheryl closely watching as she leaned against the lockers.

“ Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school

This is the Thunder-dome

Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon 

 College will be paradise, if I'm not dead by June!

But I know, I know, life can be beautiful, “ I was shoved by a group of hippies and their I was looking right at Sweet pea making his way my way as he talked with Fangs. I gulped, and glanced at Cheryl who motioned me to keep going. So I sang louder,

“ I pray, I pray for a better way

If we changed back then, we could change again

We can be beautiful… “ Suddenly everyone was staring but I kept going

“ Things will get better soon as my letter

Comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown

Wake from this coma, take my diploma

Then I can blow this town

Dream of ivy-covered walls and smoky French cafés

Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!” Ronnie my sister came from the crowd and sang with me swaying softly.

“ Dear diary:” I started and then some miserable kids joined in 

Why....

Why do they hate me?

Why don’t I fight back?

Why do I act like such a creep?

Why…

Why won’t he date me?

Why did I hit him?

Why do I cry myself to sleep?

Why…

Somebody hug me!

Somebody fix me!

Somebody save me!” We all chanted, a huge smile on my face as I saw the reactions from my peers.

“ I love Heather, Heather, and Heather.” Betty and Ronnie and Cheryl leaned on the lockers singing softly.

“ And ya know, ya know, ya know?

This could be beautiful “ Cheryl sang as she touched my face as if examining it

“ Mascara, maybe some lip gloss

And we're on our way

Get this girl some blush;

And Heather, I need your brush

Let's make her beautiful” Cheryl pulled me into the girls restroom with the girls.

“ Here you go I had taken the liberty to ask Titi for her audition custom to be donated to you since she did plan to be Veronica but you have shown potential.” She complimented handing me some clothing.

“ Now hurry!” I scurried to put the white plaid short shirt, the black long sleeve crop top and shiny black heels.

“Let's make her beautiful...

Let's make her beautiful...

Make her beautiful…” Betty and Ronnie sang softly as they fixed my hair out of a ponytail and into my  natural soft curls.

“Okay!” I sang as we made our way out and towards the auditorium.

Just as they walked out Sweet Pea and Fangs where trying to see what was going on with the whole crowd when they were also being shoved around

“Out of my way, geek!” Sweet pea sang as some nerd got in his way.

“You're gonna die at 3pm! “ Fangs sang angrily at some random dude

“Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!” A River Vixen spat at Fangs as he tried flirting with her.

“What did I ever do to her?” Fangs scoffed at Sweet pea in annoyance

We walked into the auditorium where Kevin had just finished a group of people for ensemble, along with some people of the gang sat on the chair waiting for their turn to audition.

“Who's that with Heather?” Toni sang making everyone turn around.

“ Heather, Heather, Heather...And someone!

Heather, Heather, Heather...

Veronica? Veronica? Veronica!” Reggie and Archie sang as they practically dropped their music sheets.

I ran straight up the stairs to face them as the lights from above beamed around me hugging me perfectly as I sang. Narrowing my eyes as I saw Kevin smile up at me.

“And you know, you know, you know

Life can be beautiful

You hope, you dream, you pray

And you get your way!” I pointed dramatically at the sky as I held my chest. And once again my eyes found Sweet pea’s. He sat at the last row of the auditorium. A smug look on his face as his fingers held his chin as he watched me sing

“Ask me how it feels

Lookin' like hell on wheels...

My God, it's beautiful!

I might be beautiful...

And when you're beautiful...

It's a beautiful frickin' day!” I belted out the last note, tears on the brim of my eyes in exhaustion and lack of oxygen. Next thing I heard beside the music ending, was clapping and yelling. I heaved softly and smiled at Kevin who could not stop smiling.

“ So..how did I do?” I asked shyly, Kevin shook his head in awe.

“ Your just who we were looking for Vanessa. WE FOUND OUR VERONICA!” He cheered, making me squeal in delight. I made my to my Heathers (Betty, Ronnie and Cheryl).

“ See, I told you!” Ronnie hugged me tightly as she spoke. Cheryl nodded along.

“ I underestimated you V you are talented, but you’ll grow on me.” She teased,” But I will enjoy degrading you up on stage.” She glared and sat towards the other side where Toni sat. I chuckled softly ignoring her comment, I was too excited to let her bring me down.

 Betty held my hand in hers “ I’m so glad your in! Not to ruin your moment but you had an admirer.” She glanced towards the back of us where Sweet pea and Fangs sat. He caught my not so slick stare and waved teasingly his rings shining slightly as he moved them. The disgustingly handsome smirk on his face. Fangs whispering and laughing to him about us. I groaned and sat down in the chair.

“ Hey don’t let him get to you! Remember?” Ronnie reminded me. I nodded rubbing my temples in frustration.

“ Your stronger than him.”

“ Sweet Pea?” Kevin read out loud making me physically cringe. He walked up stage his flannel wrapped around his torso, his ripped jeans hanging low as his tight leather jacket fit him like a glove.

Sweet Pea in this audition confused me. He never seems to be a musical kid or an actor at all. He told me the theater kids were geeks and lame, so him being up on the stage seemed almost like a big fat lie to my face. Another reason why he never to our relationship serious.

“ Sweet Pea what song will you sing for us today?”

“ I was thinking about Dream on by Aerosmith. Of course with the help of my friend Fangs if that’s okay?” He stated twisting his rings, and fangs shortly ran up next to him, both of them exchanging some cliche handshake.

“ Okay show us what you got guys.” Kevin hesitantly stated. My head pounded in angry watching him be up their on the stage. If he nails this song, I will be stuck with him for the remainder of this musical.

God please end this.

      to be continued.........

[mnemehoshiko]

I Really Should Just Invest In Naps + TMI: HEALTH STUFF (x-posted DW/PF)

I'm so tired. I really need to think of a better way of starting these beyond, "hi hello. i am tired. ONCE A FUCKING GAIN."

My parents came Thursday evening to help my brother move on Friday. He's moving apartments and i'm lowkey jealous because he has

TWO ROOMS!!!

A REAL BATHROOM!!

a fucking washer and dryer in unit

all utilities covered except for internet

for fucking 950/month. T___T

The only con is that he's farther from things compared to his, now, prior apartment. Also it's carpeted which is a downside for me (and probably him). But ughhhhh.

But he did most of the movie on his own before they showed up on Friday? So they didn't have a lot left to move.

Mama brought me pillows?? Which are Nice and Lovely and I like the Color but it was also just weird to go downstairs to let them in and have the exchange of

Me: SALAAM MOM

Mother: Salaam, I have your pillows. *thrusts garbage bag filled with pillows at moi*

Me:*blinks* (thinking....when....did I....ask....for pillows??? In retrospect, it was probably one of those things I like claimed when grandma posted stuff to the family WhatsApp group?? And I probably?? Forgot???) Mother: *squints* you just woke up didn't you. Me, who got dressed in like 3 minutes immediately after she called saying they were here: *takes pillows* =__= (I had Not Just Woken Up. I had woken up and then rolled over. VAST DIFFERENCE!! ....there is no difference.) (In my defense, my period has literally Just Started and I'm like Not Happy By This. T_T) They ask if I want to come to my brother's place to move stuff and I'm like, "i'll go on the second round." (also known as attempt to clean my apartment, haahhahaha) I help with the second round of stuff and we all pile into the mini-van to go my brother's place and it's NICE and I am Not Envious but I'm Not Not Envious. =___=

He has Actual Windows. T__T (my bedroom does not. my apartment...has A Lot of Flaws but It's Walking Distance From Many Things So I'm Paying for Convenience) (is this my current mantra? MAYBE.) Anyway, afterwards we go to Costco because like That Is What I Care About. And we Costco'd up. And had minor rage that a pack of 3, clinical strength "lady" deodorants were 12.99 vs 10.99 for 5 pack of "men" clinical deodorant. My brother concurred and has like also read up on the "pink tax" before and like if he ends up marrying a lady, I'M JUST LIKE??? CONGRATS?? WE HAVE TRAINED SOME SEMBLANCE OF A WOKE BLACK MALE. PLEASE DIRECT PRAISE TO MY MOTHER AND MY SISTERS. (no really, he can cook, clean, grocery shop, basically function as a decent human being and like LISTENS WHEN WOMEN TALK IN A THOUGHTFUL MANNER. He also is willing to openly weep during movies, so like congrats.) Anyway, then we went to Sprouts?? Which is like the Large Hippie Grocery Store in Durham and I uhhhh had never been there properly and now I understand why little brother sometimes grocery shops there. There were So Many Types of Almond Milk I Was In Heaven. (update: have discovered that Sprouts....instacarts to my area......as does Sur la Table. This Is Dangerous Information.) Then we went to the hardware store to acquire somethings for little bro's apartment and then we popped back to my place and my mother was like LET ME HELP YOU WITH THINGS. Me, aware my apartment is still disastrous: "That's....not....necessary." Narrator: The mother was undeterred. She did not have a conniption but she did go into Deep Maternal Worry Mode with Bonus Overbearing and Meddling Steamrolling. Internal Me: She means well. She means well. She feels guilty that she's not Around More Often Even Though I Made The Choice To Move Down South. Mother: are you okay? I know you have the anxiety and depression but has anything else happened?? You know?? You'd feel better if this place was cleaner. Me: *pained nods* Mother: Has anything else happened that you haven't told us??? I know you have the health things but anything else? Me: ...no??? (Beyond health and like my inability to like sleep properly, nothing else has happened but stress of my grad life. =_=_ Mother: LETS TAKE JUST 5 MINUTES AND TIDY THINGS UP A LITTLE

Me, who's hungry and still Has Not Eaten In Spite of It Being 5pm: mother Mother, with broom and dustpan and trashbag: COME ALONG. Internal Me: She means Well. At Least She Is Here And Alive. Appreciate The Time You Have With Her. She Means Well. *grits teeth* We clean. WE ALMOST THROW AWAY ONE OF MY ROTHYS BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LOOK INSIDE  BOXES BEFORE THROW SHIT OUT!!! And then we go to the restaurant for dinner....where the kitchen messes up my little brother's order and has chapati on the plate and he has a severe wheat allergy. So he takes Benadryl and my mother....goes into....deep worry mode Again. SHOULD WE LEAVE HIM AT HIS APARTMENT BY HIMSELF???? SHOULD WE TAKE HIM TO THEIR HOTEL??

my mother, once again, making plans without idk ASKING EITHER PARTY INVOLVED: MNEME, YOU SHOULD STAY AT HIS PLACE OVERNIGHT!! HE HAS A WASHER AND DRYER SO YOU CAN DO YOUR LAUNDRY THERE FOR FREE!!! me, a known cheap but is fucking exhausted and trying desperately to Not Snap At My Mother Because That Is Not Respectful But Also Looking Forward to Flopping on Her Fucking Couch and Maybe Even Getting A Waterbottle for my tummy: ....yes mother. =___= My dad upon seeing my mother and I exiting the apartment complex with my laundry: ???? Me, wordlessly pleading for salvation: o__o My mother, once we get to my brother's apartment: ....you know I probably should have asked before making this plan... My brother and I having Just Accepted Our Fate: *crickets* I give my brother the air mattress to blow up until he gets a Real Bed, (the place came unfurnished--which is the other reason I haven't moved because i'd need to like Get Furniture And At This Stage of My PhD, It's Just Not Worth It--so he has No Furniture At All). I sleep on the floor instead of telling my brother to just scoot over and let me ALSO SLEEP on the mattress which is a Queen-sized mattress. Nor does it occur to him to offer it to me. *stares into the void at my back* (In her defense, she did message us apologizing and I know she wasn't doing it maliciously and she's over zealous at times because she feels bad that like I'm a few hundred miles away. Alone. By myself. Single and thus don't have like anyone who's there for emotional support which like does suck but also I AM DOING... Not Amazing But Not As Bad As Undergrad? So...yeah.) I do all my laundry except for like One set that I do in the morning because my father is slow as molasses for Anything and I Know That While My Mother Wants To Leave Early they will not be here early and I have accepted this reality. Mother: WE'RE GOING TO BE THERE By 7:30 AT THE LATEST Narrator: They arrived around 10ish. We still managed to get to the farmers markets though? WHICH IS WHAT I WANTED HER TO EXPERIENCE. NC may not have Many Good Things but The Farmer Markets are So So Nice?? And big??? I have also realized if you wear a shirt that says "Ask me, I'm a scientist!" Shockingly, people read it and like ASK. Me, who slept in this shirt and threw a cardigan on because I was Too Lazy To Put On A Real Adult Shirt: ????? ! oooohhhhh... i do science. yes. yes, i do. Also got my brother to change his address because the voter registration folks were there and like IT'S EASIER TO DO IT THERE then like Figure Out Where To Go, so like We Did Our Civic Duty Today. *finger guns* Got some loaves of GF bread from the bread seller that sells Actual Edible GF bread. Sadly, they were out of raisin because it was 11am and like they open at 7am. T___T

Then we grabbed my dad, who went to the coffee shop....to work. It's been almost a full year since his open-heart surgery and he's back to being a Workaholic. =___=

Then we went to Lowes because he needed something and my parents FAILED TO COMMUNICATE PLANS and he was like...."oh I thought we were going to do it on the way back to MD??". Either way, I now have an adapter to make a three pronged plug into a two pronged one? So yay?

Then we took me, and my laundry, back to my place. My mother gave yet more instructions. I just smiled and nodded and reminded that she meant well.

And then ran back to the car because SHE WAS SO INSISTENT ON LIKE MOVING MY LAUNDRY BASKETS THAT SHE ALMOST LEFT HER MEDS BEHIND!! Me, ....this...is why....i said.... i could do it.......

But they are now back safely in MD, along with my brother because he has an orhto appointment. I was debating going back with them but I uh can't because I have a meeting with my PI on wednesday. And thus, I stay here. But I have a lot of article revisions and analyses to do so it sadly makes sense.

Maybe I'll try to go NY in Aug or mid-July?

IN FUN HEALTH THINGS, new game that I hate; "is this blood from my period or from my ass?" Spoiler: It's both~~~." Which now makes me regretting uh telling the gastro office that "no, I don't have symptoms so I don't think the steroid is necessary??" But in my defense, I DIDN'T HAVE SYMPTOMS ON WEDNESDAY WHEN THEY CALLED. Also they uh, usually are 3-6 months apart not 1.5 months...apart. So that was an unpleasant surprise which led to me pass out in bed when my parents left because ahhahahaha blood loss is v v exhausting and I forgot to pack my iron pills last night.

-____-

So, my mother is coming down again in July to take me to my sigmoidscopy. In which, they'll see things. Or they won't. I hope they see something? Anything? I don't want UC but I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW

- why i've been constantly inflamed since 2015?

- i know what hemorrhoidal bleeding looks like and uhhhhh i'm sorry but I shouldn't be dropping Actual Clots Out Of My Ass

*lies down*

i just want to not be tired and my intestines to not hate me as much. =_=

Okay, I am Going To Actually Sleep After I Knock Back Some Licorice Tea for my throat. (it's....super sore for some reason which is Not Great since I have D&D tomorrow most likely.)

[cartoonfangirl1218]

Love Potion Extravaganza Ch. 6

Note: Songs featured are Love Kernelshttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bkAjUBtn_TM, Sex with a stranger https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p13clQPzK1g, We should definitely not have sex right now https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Yh5kyAmoFrg, Maybe you’re not the worst thing ever https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sLYiyK7uqUE, Off with his shirt https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sB6Wu-dwENM and Love is strange https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vNy16_OJVkI. 

Isabel jumped up and tried her hardest to focus on what was in front of her. Reality not the wedding day dream.

Gabe was 19 years old. She was 12. She was way too young for him. She barely got to spend time with him now as he was either doing adventures with her sister or doing guard duty.

By the time she would be old enough to date him, she might be in college somewhere else and he would get married to someone else.

Logical conclusion, this was a ridiculous crush that she needed to get over with quickly. She couldn’t be a stammering, blushing mess every time he came to the palace. That would be so embarrassing.

But when she came to that conclusion, her chest grew tight and tears came to her eyes. She wanted to be with him and every time she said she couldn’t it just made her heart hurt. She needed advice from someone else, she was too emotional to see this rationally.

She had no idea where her sister was and even if she did, she wasn’t sure she would be helpful. After all, Elena probably didn’t think t anyone deserved to have her. She needed someone who had less of a biased opinion. Someone who was realistic about these matters, but kind.

She went to the library since that was where her abuelos usually went when they wanted to give Elena time to talk to fellow royals about non-political things.

Instead she was met by the sight of her cousin, clad only in boxers, pressing Doña Paloma against the shelves.

Isabel’s immediate question about abuela flew out of her head, and she gave a shocked squeak, “Are you wearing Esteban’s robe?”

The adults looked at her in surprise and pushed away from each other. Doña tightened Esteban’s red silk robe around her and answered curtly, “Do you need something?”

“Where’s abuela?” Isabel murmured, scuffing the toe of her shoe on the floor, feeling the intense urge to look anywhere but at them.

“Probably napping.” Esteban answered and Isabel fled.

As she went along the hallway where the family rooms were she already heard her abuela’s voice singing, “Dig that lush pectoral lawn. Drink in those lats and traps and delts

And after that who knows what else

Oh, off with his shirt!”

Isabel paused and without changing her speed, ran back to the library.

“On second thought, Cousin,” She entered the library again, making sure to lower her eyes, “You might be able to give me better advice on my problem.”  

Esteban groaned in exasperation at the second interruption, “Isa! Can’t you see we’re doing something far more important than your problems.”

Isabel could imagine it, but she didn’t care. The image of Gabe’s smile flashed through her mind followed by the mocking words of “You can’t have him,” repeating over and over in a torturous montage. She sat down on one of the comfy chairs and said, “I have a problem. I have a crush on a boy which I can’t have because...”

Esteban sighed, “Fine, let’s get this over with.” He picked up a guitar that Abuelo had left in the library, and began to tune it. “I know these feelings may seem strange to you. You think boys are gross and had cooties and you want to resist these feelings of affection toward them. You need to embrace them. Take Doña and I for example. Whenever..”

He strummed the guitar and began to sing, “I see her mouth start moving and God, I need a drink. And then, from out of nowhere, I look at her and think maybe she’s not the worst thing ever.

Worse than crabs. Worse than scurvy

Worse than lice or plague, But truth be told

You're growing on me just like mold.

And though, you're so annoying,

So. . .”

Isabel interrupted him when he took a breath to start the next verse, “I don’t think boys have cooties! I’m not five!”

“Then what’s your problem?” Esteban scowled.

“I was going to say,” Isabel replied tersely, “I have a crush on Gabe which I cannot have. It’s entirely illogical. He’s too old for me and I don’t know why I have a crush on him-”

Doña stopped her babbling with a firm hand over her mouth, “Love is strange and it doesn’t matter how logical it is.” 

“I wouldn’t say I’m in love.” Isabel said pulling her hand away.

“Well whatever feelings you have for Nunez, why are you trying to change them? It’s a natural part of life. Plus it feels wonderful. Yes, it’s an emotional whirlwind but you just have to go and enjoy them as they happen. Just be with Gabe if he makes you happy. Even if he annoys you because that is love.” Then she began to sing, “It blurts out things that make you wanna smack it's stupid face. And it's awkward and confusing. It annoys you half to death. Then it grins that stupid grin and you can't catch your breath.”

Esteban began the next verse and leaned over to look at Doña, ignoring Isabel completely, “Love is strange and sometimes sort of smug. And it's really really bossy. And it messes with your head till you're a hopeless basket-case.”

Doña tugged at his beard, “And it’s stubborn.”

“It’s insulting.” Esteban shot back.

“It’s obnoxious.” Doña retorted and it just made Isabel glad that whatever feelings she had towards Gabe, she wasn’t going to insult him all the time.

“It’s the worst. You keep pushing it away and you fall in head first. Love is strange and often-” They were about to continue when Isabel cut them off by snatching the guitar out of Esteban’s hands causing the couple to glare at her for ruining the moment.

“Fine! I see I can’t change my feelings. But I really wish I could. I want to date Gabe but he would never date me, he doesn’t feel that towards me.” Isabel sighed, feeling even more dejected than when she had been forgotten at the university.

“How do you know that? Maybe he does and you have missed the signs.” Esteban suggested, pulling Doña into his lap on the chair across from Isabel.

“What do you mean?” Isabel asked intrigued. Her heart leapt to her throat at the hint of some hope for her and Gabe.

“How do I explain this in a way for your analytical mind to comprehend.Oh!” An idea came to him, “You have to be like a cactus. Listen to his words and store them in your mind so you can take apart the subtext. Little kernels of subtext can go a long way.”

At first the sentence did not compute to Isabel. She had thought maybe he was making random tactics up so she would leave him alone but as she turned it over in her head it made sense.

He gives me love kernels!

Each little crumb a little tasty clue!

Love kernels!

Cause if you read between the lines

He’s saying "I love you"!

Isabel jumped up and did a little excited twirl. Thinking of all the situations she had been in with Gabe, the answer seemed so clear. He liked her back! The subtext said so.

Gabe putting her on his shoulders during olaball showed that she was the top of his world.

Gabe showing her how to make icing flowers was a sign of him wanting to spend time with her. Well her, Mateo, Naomi and Elena, but mainly her!

Him rescuing her today showed how he valued her safety above all else.

He loved her!

“Love kernels!

Save those kernels up to make a bowl of popcorn!

Love kernels!

A handful is the proper serving anyway.”

She turned to Esteban, and cried “Thank you so much, Cousin!”

Her thanks startled the adults who had been preoccupied with not keeping their hands off each other. They were about to resume when Isabel kept poking him until they promised to listen to her list the evidence.

I know when he says:

"I want to go back to Ophidan Island sometime."

It means he’s thinking 'bout the future with me!

She made a brief squeal before she went on,

“I know a visit to my school means I was in his thoughts during guard duty!

She hugged herself thinking back on Gabe’s daring rescue.

And I know he cares when he says “I'm going to go over battle plans, Rico’s sick wanna help?

It means I'm the most important person in his life...next to Rico!”

That was less romantic but she explained how it was, “He trusts Rico with his life in battle so that's saying a lot...”

She looked back to the seat which was suddenly empty and a flash of red silk leave the door of the library.

“Hey, rude!”

But her anger was brief for the warm fluttery feeling that was rising and throbbing inside of her seemed to double when she pictured Gabe’s face. He had been secretly showing his love for her this whole time. How could she have been so blind?!”

“I'd do anything for those love droplets!

Like a hamster in a cage! Slurp, slurp!

Love droplets!

Each a letter on a page in the novel of our love!

Love droplets!

Falling down from the sky...and when I mix it in

with the tears I cry it makes a full glass of water!

God, I'm thirsty after all that popcorn!”

Feeling more encouraged about the affection between her and Gabe,she ran out the library doors and went to her room to find one of her fancy ball-gown dresses. She wanted to look good when she went confess her mutual love for him.

“I'll be patient until the droplets become a river that needs a dam!

I'll be patient until the kernels rain down like candy

Whatever you got I'll take it baby.”

She continued singing loudly down the hallway, not caring who heard her.

"What are you up to today?"

I'll take it.

"The palace smells like lemon."

I'll take it.

"Where's my sword?"

It's a stretch but I'll take that too.”

She bumped into Naomi and Olivia who were running in the opposite direction, chasing a butterfly holding a honeysuckle.

“Don’t hurt it!” Olivia cried as Naomi savagely grasped at the air for the butterfly.

“We need that honeysuckle!” 

Isabel shrugged at the two’s weird antics and continued out to the palace doors to the stables.

“I'll take all your love kernels!

Love kernels!

Love kernels!”

–––––----------------

“So we never see each other again?”

“Yes” Carla purred, rubbing herself tantalizing against Alonso’s chest, pushing him onto the bed, “One fantastic time of two strangers with their bodies rocking the bed until it breaks; undeniable heat between them and thrill in their hearts. And then we go our separate ways.”

Alonso gulped. It was clear that he was conflicted with waiting for Naomi or just going for her so Carla jumped on top of him. She kissed him, tongue pressing against his lips but when he refused to open his mouth, she settled for nibbling on his bottom lip.

She didn’t think it was her best work, but Alonso melted under her gaze when she pulled back. His voice went husky with lust, “Let’s do this.”

Then instead of throwing her on the bed to ravish her until she forgot her name. He began to sing. “Steppin’ in the club

All those eyes on me

But there’s only one pair that I see

She’s got a tight ass bod,

Big violet eyes

Come on, cutie get between my thighs

‘Cause I...

I don’t even know your name

Why...

Don’t we just call each other baby

It’ll be simpler.”

“Uh yeah that’s great.” Carla muttered, pulling out his shirt.

He winked at her, “You’re impatient. I like that.”

Yet despite admiring her urgency, he still continued to sing. He wasn’t even looking at her. He was staring past her as if to an imaginary audience and enjoying every minute of it.

“Hey sexy stranger, come back to my place,

And I hope you’re not a murderer!

Kiss me, baby, all over the place,

And please don’t be a murderer!

Please don’t be a murderer!

Pl-Pl-Please don’t be a murderer!” 

“What?” Carla interrupted, her heart skipping a beat at how those lyrics hit close to home. Did he know? Did Elena warn him about her family?

“Sorry...oh yeah. My dad is always going on about not dating fans in case they may be crazy. It kinda popped into my head right now and-“

Carla didn’t bother to let him finish. She grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into another kiss.

Which was horrible.

He barely opened his mouth so when she did try to slip her tongue he almost bit it! His lips were dry and he kissed with such force it felt like he was trying to smother her. Their noses kept bumping together and Carla couldn’t help but smell the yeasty bread odor of his breath.

Forcing herself to choke back the instinctive reflex to make a face, she tried to move the kissing to other physical opportunities yet Alonso got distracted by catching his reflection in the window. Well at least he stopped singing, Carla wryly mused to herself.

Taking that as a cue to switch tactics, Carla gently but firmly pushed him away. That got Alonso’s attention as he tore his gaze away from his image. Before he could even open his mouth, Carla shook her head with a small smile to show that she was teasing him.

Trying to copy the sultry whisper she had often heard her mom use, Carla turned her back on him, pretending to look at her nails. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this. After all, you hardly know me. Having sex with a stranger. So many would consider it forbidden. Taboo.”

Carla sneaked a glance at the reflective window and could see Alonso’s peaked interest. Classic. Tell a guy something is forbidden and that’s all he craves.

Alonso’s eyes gained a hungry glint that made Carla’s stomach go aflutter. This was the look she craved. To have a man’s complete focus on her, using all his energy and muscles as he ravished her. Her, as the only one he could ever desire.

Continuing her sultry whisper, Carla casually draped herself onto the bed and pulled down her sleeves, “We should definitely not have sex right now,

We should definitely not have sex right now

It would complicate the situation.”

Alonso leaped onto the bed, spooning against her side while his hand unceramoniously bunched up her skirt to roughly grab clumsily her thighs. Winking he continued her song, “It's the adult thing to not have sex right now. We have the common sense not to have sex right now.”

Carla lost the urge to continue teasing and singing to him as he unskillfully groped her. He had no focus as his hands stroked her stomach for one second before moving to grope at her butt for two squeezes and then running his hands through her hair. It was like he was trying to touch all of her at once which only made her feel like he wasn’t touching her at all. Unfortunately, with her sudden silence, Alonso took that as a chance to resume his lackluster kissing again. She hoped his other skills would be better than this. She really really hoped so because with the sensation of Alonso’s awful kisses, Gabe returned to her mind.

When she had kissed Gabe, Gabe knew how to kiss back. The way his tongue fought hers made her wanted to melt. He was someone who was strong and someone who wouldn’t let something go unfinished. If he showed that same motivation in bed...shivers ran up her spine to think of it.

“Yeah baby..” Alonso muttered as he finally slipped off her dress barely getting it past her knees before turning his task to sucking her breast.

Oh right, she was with Alonso. She would have to be careful about what was coming out of her mouth, she bet he wouldn’t like it much if she ended up saying the wrong name.

The rest of the activity was pleasant enough. She thought he enjoyed it. He moaned a lot and his eyes rolled back in his head which she thought was a good sign. There was some pain for her as they bonded together and that in Alonso’s eagerness to get closer, he bumped her head against the headboard.

But there had been pleasurable moments for her too. She had to give him credit for knowing what he was doing in the chest area. Although it was primarily when she closed her eyes and pictured that it was Gabe leaning over her in all his fighting glory that she could get into the mood. The one moment when Alonso had gently nibbled at her nipple and she pictured Gabe doing it, she was surprised to find out that her mother was right. Certain body parts could get melty and she was even more surprised at the uncontrollably loud moans she was capable of emitting.

Of course, just as she realized that in order to get the most ecstasy out of this- that she had to close her eyes the whole time and only imagine Gabe growling in utter hunger for her body- it was over.

Alonso rolled over to lay next to her, and gave a dazed smile to her, “Was that as good for you as it was for me.”

“Great,” Carla managed a fake titter which seemed to satisfy Alonso enough that he closed his eyes. He sighed with contentment, “That was the world’s best kiss.”

Carla winced. He thought they had the world’s best kiss? Whoever kissed him must have really been blinded by his prince status.

As Alonso started to snore next to her, she sang softly to herself and began to redress herself.  

“It was the world's “best” kiss

Save for the awkwardness

And how we fit...which I admit...felt sort of weird to me.

And in my dreams I bet I can taste it

Slightly yeasty

Oddly musty.”

She grabbed her tamborita, half hidden under the bed and brushed some lint off it.

She got her wish. She screwed over Naomi and got to be with Prince Alonso.

Unfortunately she still had Gabe in her head and her heart still fluttered at the thought of being in bed with him instead.

There was no denying it.

She had drunk the love potion and even though the tug of her heart hurt a lot, the giddy feeling she got whenever she thought of Gabe felt nice too. If she had an antidote she wasn’t sure if she would take it.

She liked having this crush feeling. She never felt that way about a person before. Usually she just felt disdain or envy for others.

Or in this case, a wish never to kiss that person again.

She really needed to get back home and talk with her mom about this. She needed someone with a rational perspective. “It was an awful kiss

Kind of a total miss

Clumsy and forced

Way too much teeth

Messy and wet.”

She went to the door, softly singing her song to a sleeping Alonso, “Far from the world's best kiss

Still I can tell you this:

It was a kiss I won't forget.”

She blew him a kiss and closed the door behind her.

[hyercns-blog]

( the cuteST )

a bitch is Tired rn after pulling my usual shit, aka staying up until 5am for no reason only to stick out a two hour lab, cry while doing my connections page on my late lunch/packing break and napping in the car, so excuse the seeming lack of enthusiasm lkfdsjglk. hey i’m kat, i’m 20, canadian, and my current means of life rn are chocolate, drag race ( i.. am team anyone but b*b* rn, no offence but my girl needs to come back to earth and stop rubbing me the wrong way sdfgkjgfd ( i think sh*ngela deserves it most despite being more of a tr*xie stan tho js ) ) and 3am you in me listening parties with myself four months after its release rip !! i’m a uni student and in love with sowoo so you don’t wanna know the agony that comes with picking one over the other. you can hmu on d*scord if you’d like ( just find me in the gc and message me from there fkskf ) and this is so boRING, it’s like the life is sucked out of me omg. anyways hyeran, a whole.. other positive muse bc jesus, how many of these do i have rn ?? this is so out of hand man, but nonetheless here’s a bit abt the brat:

- ̗̀ wait, wait, was that JEON SOMIN i just saw? damn, it was actually just that TWENTY TWO year old MUSIC PRODUCER/BARISTA, YUN HYERAN. speaking of them, did you hear that they’re known as THE VIRTUOSO around gangnam? i guess it makes sense considering they act so EBULLIENT & LOYAL but at the same time so MAGNANIMOUS & DIFFIDENT. they’re also apparently a PANSEXUAL FEMALE OUTSIDER who uses SHE/HER pronouns. ( kat / 20 / gmt-3:30 / she/her )

yun hyeran, a daegu native with an older and younger brother, an ambivert and an all around baby

tbh this is a copied intro from a few months back and i don’t have the time to perfectly incorporate her recently developed bg, so pls anticipate a small bio with that explained HERE

buT she became involved in music through her father, who studied it in uni and ended up becoming a music instructor with a focus on piano, flute and vocals

her and her mom.. also her older brother, didn’t have the best relationship when she grew older, which seemed to die altogether when her parents divorced and her mom left. but her and her brother’s still exists, it’s just that he’s a bit of a toxic influence on her and she tends to distance herself from him

went to uni in seoul to pursue music like her father ( a daddy’s girl too like ) and found her way into the world of production !! by junior year, she’d transferred out of her original program and majored in that instead and has loved it ever since; she recently graduated

moved to gangnam bc.. idk, she just wanted to KDFJSGLGKFD

impulsive brat

would visit jeju island when she was younger bc her aunt lived there

she adores said aunt, her dad’s sister and the maternal figure she Deserves, so overall jeju holds a special place in her heart

for the time being, she works full-time as a barista at the café just a block from her cute little studio apartment while looking into internships at record labels for her to take on a little further down the line ( no rush bc it’s already quite competitive and she’d rather enjoy what she has going now )

she’s also making something of an income as the creator of an acct on youtube and soundcloud for her music, something she’s had for abt two years now

she’s not even close to making it big yet, and she doesn’t mind if she never works for a moderately to highly popular label — though she should if she wants to get by

among the aesthetic, lo-fi music crowd ( one of those yt accts with a livestream for certain playlists that go on for hours, rip ) where for the most part, it’s personal faves mixed with her own works, and has a substantial following as of now. but has an interest in experimenting, with mashups ( as a lover of them ?? i couldn’t help myself sgflkdsjg ) for example, with a small fear of how that change would be received

this is so short now that i’ve shortened it immensely iK, it’s a little infuriating if you ask me ljkgdfjls

in terms of her personality and other things:

she’s a very loyal person, v e r y. while like i said ( and will elaborate on in her bio ), her relationship with her brother is Not Great, she hasn’t completely given up on him. maybe for the time being, but her being someone who’s open to the idea of people changing for the better somewhere down the line, leaves a bit of room for her to possibly change her mind if he does enough to allow her to consider it

so she can be a bit of a doormat in some cases, it all depends on how she sees the person that determines if that’s the case, but she generally won’t let you off if you’re being dumb/an ass to someone or if she gets advantageous vibes from you for example ( given she can.. be a little naive and is a p gentle soul ) so.. idk fgklsj good luck to the 99% ig ??

she does have a slight dependency on others despite her thinking all signs point to the opposite, and even though her and her mom never rly had a good relationship she still reels from the neglect/abandonment some days so handle her with Care if she deems you a close pal

spontaneous tbh, moving to gangnam was a little last minute on her part, for one

she’s a bit reclusive when focused on something, if she tells you she’s working on a track, it’s essentially a head’s up that you might not see her for a couple of days depending on how soon she gets it done — lowkey that bitch™ who makes up an illness to her boss, so she wouldn’t even show up for work if it’s more than just her fucking around

bc admittedly, a lot of what she posts is fucking around and liking it, her more thought-out and effort packed projects are hidden away on her laptop

a bit insecure with her work and just her general disposition ?? those first few points above mess with her a lot and leave her disheartened so.. my poor child

v strong overall, takes people’s shit and if it gets to her, she gets over it p fast. doesn’t dwell on much and will be courteous to you even if she’s declared you too toxic to stick around 24/7

isn’t exactly one to get angry ?? she’s basically just disappointed or annoyed at best 99% of the time, it takes a lot to get her beyond that

positive, ugh. maybe not sickeningly sweet, but still. kinda explained parts of it above and i’m 95% gone mentally rn, gotta spare that for other little details gsjklf

a cute bean who wants the best for everyone

uhhh

has a good understanding of english, her mom’s an american national so she grew up with it being spoken in the house at times

prob speaks it better than i speak french, but still wouldn’t consider herself fluent

plays piano and bass guitar, but knows her way around a flute and tenor sax ( you don’t know how tempted i was to say clarinet bc of jiwoo gjflkgds )

prob had some kind of little amateur rock band with a few music majors and took up bass for the hell of it lmao

loves animals, leans towards cats or big dogs. corgis and those little spaniels get a pass tho

speaking of, she has a cute little calico kitten ( i’m shit with pet names so if lucy sounds lacklustre.. you know why rgkjls ) who she Loves, her baby !!

sweater, ball cap and basic t shirt junkie

those glasses somin’s been wearing a lot of lately ?? hyeran wears them too but.. actually needs them, not even close to a fashion statement

doesn’t don much makeup unless someone’s dragging her to a party or something

thaT’S when she looks a little more like a classy early twenties bitch.. which lbr, is hard enough when adulthood is a whole Train Wreck for the most part LGFJSDL

not a heavy drinker, but the textbook definition of a lightweight so.. she’s always praying for anyone who has to deal with her dgfjklsfg

lattes are her livelihood

a bit of a hopeless romantic, just a bit, but god help her nonetheless

her favourite subject in school was literature/writing and reads quite a bit on her breaks at the café

favourite music genres.. it’s easier to say what she doesn’t like/finds boring, which is prob country and some aspects of edm/pop, not into punk/metal either

these are super basic but.. i’ve gotta get myself together for the day so this’ll do for now i hope ??

so if you’d like to plot, im me here or on d*scord ! i prefer the latter personally, but whichever’s easiest for you. i have a list of a few of the specific wcs i have in mind ( for the time being, catch my lazy ass avoid listing all the basic ones and revising a few i have on an old blog ) for hyeran up now, which you can find here, so just lmk if any of them appeal to you !!

[lincolnbrendt]

self para || mad world

Day 1:

“It’s only the first day, Linc, it’s totally normal for her to stay out.” Daisy’s voice was always so well controlled that he didn’t know if she believed the words she was saying. She probably didn’t, he told himself. “You know she’s been through a lot. She just needs a break.”

Lincoln nodded silently as he watched the redheads fingers move nimbly through Mallory’s blonde hair, twirling them into two plaits. He must have zoned out when they’d cleaned the blood out of it. That made it easier for him to breathe every time he looked at her.

Daisy left, not trying to say anything further to Lincoln. A gesture he appreciated because he didn’t know if he remembered how to speak anymore. Lucy came out from behind the curtain as Adam’s mother’s voice was heard in the distance. His sister might have said something to him, but he couldn’t tell. The woman he’d come to know as Nicole held out a black coffee from the machine for Lincoln.

“You seem to need it,” she spoke in a gentle voice, smiling at Lucy who thanked her on Lincoln’s behalf. Lincoln wondered wryly how much the woman would smile if she knew she was in the same room as her future grandchild with absolutely no clue. “And Ms. Brendt, dear, I do hope you and your baby are doing well. I can’t imagine what you went through.”

If he’d had any energy, he would have nearly scoffed.

The woman and her husband disappeared to talk to their son and his jaw tightened as he heard Adam’s voice. It was a selfish thought of him to have, but he thought he might have swapped Mallory’s place with his in a heartbeat. After the idea passed his mind he began tugging at his own hair, hating himself for being so selfish but he couldn’t help it he couldn’t help it he didn’t mean to think that.

“Hey, Lincoln, hey come on stop, hey stop doing that.” It was Lucy’s voice that broke through the waves of guilt he felt, bringing him back to reality.

“No no no no I thought something bad I thought a bad thing.”

“What bad thing Lincoln? Lincoln what bad thing?”

And just like that, he snapped out of it, making himself take a deep breath.

“Never mind. I just… I d-do-d-don’t r-r-rem-member.” A lie, but one that was for the best. The concern on Lucy’s face became more prevalent than before, and Lincoln forced a smile. “I-I’m go-g-gonna go get s-some foo-f-food. I’ll be back soon.”

Day 3:

It had been far too long since Lincoln had shaved or showered or done anything to take care of himself. He couldn’t do anything but sit there, wasting away in the chair as he watched the line on Mallory’s heart monitor go up and down. Empty coffee cups sat on the desk behind him, broken poems scribbled on the side as he’d always done for Mallory before.

It was only day 3.

People were still telling him to hold onto hope. That this was nothing out of the ordinary.

He wondered if they understood that the only reason he survived the weeks without her before was by knowing she was a phone call away and knowing that once he was brave enough to face her and his mistake they would be fine.

He wondered if they understood that the labyrinth his mind had become over the years was unnavigable without the light she provided with her heartbeat.

He wondered if they understood that every day she stayed asleep, his sanity fled deeper and deeper into that labyrinth.

Day 5:

Sleep was no longer a concept Lincoln really remembered. He was downing a large coffee at least four times a day and even if he hadn’t been chugging so much espresso his mind wouldn’t have shut off long enough to allow him a rest more than the occasional hour long naps when he found himself bogged down by a vivid nightmare over and over again. Mallory, bloody and dead in his arms.

His knees were tucked up against his chest as he sat near her bed now. He was trying to read aloud from the book of his poetry he’d roughly constructed but the words and letters were floating around on the page as he tried.

In the distance - or perhaps right next to him he no longer cared enough to tell - he heard a nurse discussing his own health with someone who sounded like Logan. Then again it could have been Lucy or Daisy or anyone who wasn’t Mallory because Mallory couldn’t speak.

“We’re concerned that his lack of sleep combined with his autism and OCD could lead to… some sort of mental episode. What we can do is provide him with some sleeping medicine if you would authorize that, to just get him to rest. If he continues this way I… just don’t know.”

“It’s fine. I’ll sign off on it, but good luck selling him on it.”

Lincoln did not go down without a fight.

“Wake me up if she does,” he said weakly as his eyes fought off the darkness that encompassed him, only having been swayed after being told he could end up hurting himself or someone else if he kept on acting like this.

Day 6:

When he woke up he was in a stranger’s room, it was empty, dark and quiet. Looking down at his arm in the dimly lit room he saw wires and tubes connected to it and couldn’t contain the gag working its way up his throat.

“N-Nu-Nurse! Nurse!” He began yelling and not long after, a short man dressed in scrubs entered the room.

“Mr. Brendt, how are you fee-“

“Unho-Unhook m-me from th-this machi-m-machine,” Lincoln spoke impatiently.

“Oh I’ll have to make sure you’re well enough to-“

“If y-you don’t I w-will,” he threatened, holding his hand over the tubes which caused the nurse to come over quickly and begin unhooking him, bandaging the small patch where his incision was. With shaky legs, he stood up and left the room. He sighed in relief realizing he was just across the hall from Mallory, walking the short distance with legs that seemed to forget how to move.

Regardless, he found his seat left exactly where it had been when he left, and his coffee cups untouched in their stacks of five because five was a good number five made good things happen. Tapping his finger against his knee repeatedly he counted them out.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Day 9:

Lincoln was laying in a bed, prepped for surgery after having kissed all of his sisters on the top of the head and waving a goodbye before he walked into the prep room.

“You’ll have to lay down for at least two days. And then for about four weeks, maybe six, you’ll need to take all physical activity to a minimum, no lifting more than 10 to 15 pounds, we don’t suggest intercourse during the recovery time, all around you’ll have to be careful standing long periods of time and take care of yourself.”

“Okay.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Abs-Absolutely.”

“I know there aren’t a lot of other options but I don’t want you to do this and regr-“

“Just take me back.”

“There’s a chance we may still lose h-“

“TAKE ME BACK!” Lincoln shouted. He was uninterested in hearing anyone talk about possibly losing Mallory.

“Okay…” The doctor still sounded hesitant, but the nurse who was pushing his bed had been there when Mallory’s kidneys began to fail. So had Lincoln. Within hours and a few tests that showed he was, remarkably, a match, the boy was in a hospital bed being rolled into surgery.

As he was pushed into the sterile, cold procedure room, he rolled his head to the side to see Mallory’s pretty blonde hair.

“Abou-out t-time I paid you back f-for saving me,” he whispered before they turned his head back upwards and placed a mask over his face.

“Okay dear, just count back from 10,” said a nice woman just behind his head.

He didn’t even make it to 8.

Day 11:

Lincoln could walk again, but instead he sat next to Mallory’s bed right where he always did. He thought he remembered Jean and Eddie thanking him over and over for what he did. He also thought it was silly for anyone to think he wouldn’t have given up both of his lungs and heart and liver and everything he had to give if it meant she would be brought back into the world.

He didn’t remember what being a person felt like anymore. He didn’t remember any sensations other than fear and panic and anger and exhaustion. He didn’t remember having any intentions other than to keep fighting while the love of his life did the same.

His sleep came in waves that day, brought on by the pain meds he still took every few hours. Between the periods of darkness when his mind finally escaped reality, Lincoln wrote poems upon poems upon poems. Desperate for the right words that might bring her back.

“Y-You just keep… k-ke-keep r-resting, L-Lov-Love. B-But pl-please come b-bac-back… I-I-I n-nee-need you…”

Sleep took him away again, unwanted but still appreciated, and in his dreams that night there was nothing. Emptiness, surrounded by nothing but pitch black. It was a welcome escape from the fear and sadness that had wracked his body every waking minute.

Day 12:

A man came in holding a bible.

Lincoln to the side, slightly numb to the whole experience but he was aware of what was happening. They were blessing Mallory, so if she did die, she would go to heaven. It caused his stomach to lurch, the idea that people were making preparations in the case of her death.

Lincoln had arrangements of his own, but he didn’t want to share those plans with anyone else.

“F-Father?” Lincoln has found himself following the man out of the room, limping slightly. “C-Can I as-ask you s-someth-something?”

The man turned around and faced Lincoln with a smile.

“Of course, how can I help you?”

“W-Well I-I um… so-s-so I’m n-not a v-ver-very re-r-relig-ligious p-perso-person, I don’t kn-know how it w-work-works ex-exactly but cou-c-could you t-tell G-Go-G-God s-someth-something for m-me?”

The man’s expression was patient as he nodded.

”What is it, Son?”

”I-I w-wan-wanted… I’ve w-wanted a f-fam-famil-mily my… who-whole l-life… b-but if…if-if Mal-M-Mallory c-c-co-comes-s b-back I will gi-g-give up my dr-drea-dream. He’ll n-nev-never h-hear me wi-w-wish for my own s-son or dau-d-daughter again. C-Coul-d y-you te-t-ell h-him that?”

The man’s face went from patient to devastated as Lincoln finished speaking.

”Oh, Dear boy, you poor thing…”

”I-I don’t want-t-t y-your pit-ty… Pl-Plea-ease j-just tell h-him?”

The man nodded, reaching out his hands to take Lincoln’s. Lincoln barely enjoyed physical contact from a stranger under normal circumstances and these circumstances were far from normal. So he flinched away, curling his hands into his chest. 

“I’ll tell him,” the man said, taking his own hands back. 

With a satisfied nod, Lincoln disappeared to return to Mallory’s bedside.

Day 14: 

Lincoln had to fight for the first time to keep Mallory on for just a couple more days. At that point, the only thing keeping her alive was the machine she was relying on for a heartbeat. 

 “P-Pl-Please-Please I-I’ll p-p-pa-pay f-fo-f-for-r it plea-p-p-p-pl-please ju-j-j-jus-j-just a c-cou-c-c-couple m-mo-m-more d-da-d-days!” 

His frantic voice swayed Mallory’s grandparents, agreeing to just a couple more days. Lincoln knew that in a couple more days if Mallory wasn’t awake he’d fight again and again until he had no fight left in him. Lincoln was stitching together the many loose pages on which he’d written countless poems during his time there. 

He figured that when she woke up she’d want to read them. It was a rare day for Lincoln, meaning it was one in which he was actually aware of the world beyond the four walls that boxed him into that room or beyond the line of vision between he and Mallory. 

Meaning when Mason Safaatauemana walked in with a pitiful look on his face, Lincoln had already lost patience for the boy who had found such disgusting delight in charming Mallory into a date ages ago. 

“Hey, man,” he started as he took a few steps towards Lincoln who, had he had even a drop less of self control in his body, may have growled at him. “I just wanted to swing by and say I was sorry, you know. For everything.” 

“L-Li-L-Like?” 

“Like... I wish I’d been able to do something to save her, or to stop it all, you know? I’m just-“ 

Rage bubbled in Lincoln’s head, boiling so loudly he was deaf to any other words Mason was saying. 

“A-Are you ki-k-Kidd-kidding?!” 

“What-“ 

“Are you KIDDING?!” Lincoln stood up now, putting a hand over his side with a groan. “You’re going to take this moment right here, this moment in which the love of my life is laying in bed because a deranged madman shot her and you’re going to turn it into a situation in which you could have been the hero of the cards had fallen right?!” 

“I’m sorry I-“ 

“You don’t get to be the hero in everyone’s story, Mason!! If anyone could have saved her it would have been ME!! There was nothing YOU of all people could do!” 

The sleepless nights that made days blend together like wet paint left him exhausted and had caught up to him, making this seem catastrophic. 

“I mean you, you just... you just run into people’s life and expect them to bend into whatever they need to be for you to fit with them. You never change to fit anyone! I changed to be your friend, to live with you, to get your stupid approval I change for EVERYONE I didn’t have to change for Mallory and you’re going to come in here saying you wish you’d been able to save her?!?” 

Lincoln shoved Mason’s shoulders, all of the anger he’d ever felt towards the redhead coming out as he continued shouting. 

“I mean seriously?! You ask her on a date just to try to fuck her and then you keep treating her and I like shit like we’re lesser than you because she didn’t want to fuck you and because I stutter and wasn’t one of your original friends!” Lincoln shoved him again and this time Mason held him back, keeping his hand on his shoulders to stop Lincoln from getting any closer. This only made Lincoln feel attacked and he swung, connecting his fist with Mason’s face. 

“Lincoln, Lincoln stop,” Mason pleaded, trying to keep him away while also trying to calm him down. “You don’t want to do this. You don’t want to start this right now.” 

“Stop telling me what I want to do! Nobody but me knows what I want to do!!!” 

By then Mason had gotten them out into the hallway, away from the medical equipment and away from Mallory. 

“I know what I want to do! You don’t and Lucy doesn’t and the nurses don’t! I don’t want to be here without Mallory don’t tell me what I want!” 

Another swing, another fist slamming into Mason’s face. The redhead clenched his jaw, clinging onto reality so he wouldn’t blackout. 

“Lincoln please, please I don’t want to blackout I could hurt you I could kill you!” 

At the thought of Mason killing him, Lincoln punched him again, harder than before and this time in the gut. 

“Then kill me! KILL ME!!!” Lincoln was screaming now, his voice shrill and drawing the attention of the other patients and some of the nurses. “Please, Mason if I’m your friend at all - if I’ve ever been your friend then kill me I don’t want to live without her I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t be me without her I would rather DIE!” 

Another punch, this time in the side and Mason finally shoved him away, backwards and into the arms of Hunter, who sighed and lined a syringe up against Lincoln’s neck. 

“Somebody please just kill me I don’t want to live without her please Mason, please please just do it promise me you’ll do it!” Even as he was stuck in the neck with medicine meant to sedate him, it took a few moments to work its way through his large body. “Mason I thought you were my friend please I just wanted you to kill me!” His words were sobs as his legs grew weak and Hunter enlisted Mason’s help in carrying him back into Mallory’s room. 

Adam was long gone by then, and they lifted him into the bed right next to Mallory. 

“Please,” his voice was a whimper as his eyes fought to remain open. “Someone just kill me...” 

Day 15 - Evening: 

Lincoln’s sanity was slipping again. After the breakdown the night before, it seemed to fall between his fingers like sand in a widespread hand. Slipping quickly, falling back towards the ground with nothing but gravity to stop it. He was sat in his chair when a nurse he didn’t recognize entered the room. She must have been new. That was okay, he told himself, Daisy wouldn’t let anyone but the best near his girl. He knew that much was true. 

Still, as she acknowledged his presence with a nod and wave before going about refilling Mallory’s IV, Lincoln couldn’t do anything but rock back and forth in his still chair. His arms hugging his own chest like that could keep him together as he rocked. 

“C-C-C’m-C’mon M-Ma-M-Mal-Mal... y-y-you don’t ha-h-have m-much time-ti-time l-lef-l-left... You nee-n-need to c-come ba-b-back to me...” He murmured over and over again as he stared at Mallory. The nurse looked at him with sadness in her eyes. 

“You been waiting a while for her?,” she asked kindly. Lincoln didn’t respond. “Well you know, Darling, she can feel your stress. You can’t put too much pressure on her.” 

It was as if someone had pressed the pause button on Lincoln’s life as the nurse spoke. He stopped rocking, stopped muttering things below his breath, stopped existing (at least it felt as if he had). He sat there unmoving as the nurse finished up. She bid him a good night that fell on deaf ears, as he held himself together desperately with his long arms. 

As soon as he heard the door shut with a click, Lincoln began pounding his fist against his head, punching himself in the forehead repeatedly until the pain became a dull reminder of how much he had fucked up. By the time a bruise had started blossoming on Lincoln’s face, he was screaming. No words came out exactly, he was screaming in fury and anger and hatred, angry at himself, furious at himself, hating himself. 

His screams reached frantic levels, the top of his lungs as he now began using both fists against himself. 

“It’s my fault it’s my fault it’s my fault!!!” He screamed, even as he heard the door be thrown open and Harley stood there with sadness in her eyes. “IT’S MY FAULT TOO MUCH PRESSURE TOO MUCH PRESSURE IT’S MY FAULT SHES GOING TO DIE TOO MUCH PRESSURE!” 

Blood began trickling out of his forehead now and Harley frantically begged Declan to come pull him away and make him stop. 

“OH MY GOD I KILLED HER ITS MY FAULT TOO MUCH PRESSURE TOO MUCH PRESSURE ITS MY FAULT!!!!” 

He was screaming so loudly now that his voice cracked and Declan entered the room, wrapping his large arms around Lincoln’s and prying his hands away from his head. 

“IT’S MY FAULT MY FAULT MY FAULT!!!!!!!” He was sobbing through his shouts now as Declan pulled him out of the room and Lincoln spotted the nurse who had said that. “SHE SAID IT WAS MY FAULT SHE SAID THERES TOO MUCH PRESSURE I JUST WANTED HER TO KNOW I BELIEVED IN HER BUT ITS MY FAULT ITS MY FAULT SHE WON’T WAKE UP AND ITS ALL MY FAULT!” 

The nurse looked devastated as blood continued spilling down Lincoln’s face. She couldn’t have known such a reaction would come out of such a mild mannered man. 

“I’m sorry I-“ She started.

“MY FAULT MY FAULT MY FAULT!!!!!” 

Eventually, Declan had wrestled him far enough away and locked him into a position which only exhausted Lincoln’s body if he tried to continue fighting. Instead of thrashing around anymore he became limp in the much bigger man’s arms and sobbed. 

“I just wanted her to know I believed she would come back she’s running out of time it’s all my fault...” 

Harley tried comforting him, using any words she thought may help but nothing changed how hard he cried. Not until he cried himself out in Harley’s arms (who had taken over once he’d stopped throwing his arms around). 

“I-I-I-I c-ca-c-can-can’t b-be ar-a-arou-a-around her anym-m-more.” 

“No Lincoln that’s not-“ 

“It’s m-my-my f-fau-f-fault I have t-to s-sta-s-stay away.” 

Nobody said anything else, letting him sit there and cry himself dry until he eventually decided he’d sleep in the waiting room. “I ha-h-have to stay aw-a-away...” 

Day 19: 

It was the end. No amount of fighting from Lincoln would change her grandparents minds anymore. Something about wanting to end the suffering she was going through and making sure she got into God’s Kingdom. It wasn’t an answer he was willing to accept but nothing was when it came to ending the life of the one person he had no intention on living without. They delivered the news as soon as he’d woken up that morning, wrapped in a bundle of blankets outside of Mallory’s room so his presence hold risk her recovery. 

All he remembered of his reaction was a scream so loud he no longer had a voice, only enough to croak out responses to people who spoke to him. He sat with his knees curled to his chest, tugging on his hair for hours as the world moved around him without him being present in it. People went in and out of Mallory’s room and Lincoln couldn’t do anything but watch their feet move past him.

Lily came up to him and sat beside him on the dirty ground. 

“Big brother, what’s wrong? Why is everyone crying?” 

Lincoln didn’t know if he was crying or not, his mind was desperate to shut down in order to protect itself. 

“Mallory’s going away, Lil,” Lincoln barely got out past the scratches in his throat. 

“Oh... Forever?” 

Lincoln nodded, letting out a sob into his fist as he did. Lily threw her arms around him.

“Hey, Mallory always said that when something sad happened, something good would come right after, right?” 

Another nod and another sob into his fist as he wrapped one arm around Lily. He didn’t want to give her up, he didn’t want to say goodbye to any of his sisters - in fact if anyone in the world would keep him there it would be them, but when he thought of a world without Mallory all he could see was himself wrapped up in a blanket on his mattress until he died of starvation or exposure or whatever it was people died from when they lay there unmoving for an endless amount of time, becoming nothing more than a vegetable, a burden on an already burdened family.

They sat there embracing until Eddie came over.

“Lincoln... If you... wanted to say goodbye.”

Goodbye.

The word washed over him like a tidal wave, pinning his body to the ground with some combination of horror and dread. Still, he stood up.

“H-He-Hey, go s-sit w-wi-with y-your si-s-sisters, L-Li-Lily, I’ll b-be out s-soo-s-soon.”

The young girl nodded, squeezing his waist before running off to sit with the other Brendt siblings. 

“Take as long as you need,” Eddie said, squeezing Lincoln’s hand. Lincoln nodded, going into the room and shutting it behind him. He took his spot in the chair that, at that point, had become molded to his shape. 

“I tried so hard, Baby,” he choked out through stutters and a hoarse voice, holding his hand tightly in his own. “I really tried so so so hard, I fought so hard to keep you here. I’m so sorry.” He was bawling almost immediately, barely able to get the words past his lips. “I just want you to be back here with me. I just want to hold you. I just want to kiss you and tell you how much I love you.”

His hands shook as he took the ring box out once more. “I know it’s probably selfish of me, to ask that you die with this on, but I don’t plan on being apart for long once you do, and I want you to have it in wherever there is after all of this.” 

He slid the ring on her finger and cried as he held it to his lips, pressing kisses against her cold skin, perfect even as she neared death. 

“Mallory I have so many things to thank you for and not enough time to say them all. Thank you for opening the door into my coffee shop that morning so long ago and walking into my life, thank you for changing the person I am, for making me a better - no the best version of myself. Thank you for holding my hand when it shakes and for finishing a game of mini golf with me when no one else ever has before. Thank you for sitting patiently with me as I try to spit out my order and for never being embarrassed by the person I am even though I’m embarrassed by the person I am. Thank you for being the one person in my life who knew how to fix all of the broken pieces of me, and thank you for not just knowing how to do it but for doing it. Thank you for loving a man who didn’t think of himself as worthy to be loved and thank you for kissing me even on the darkest days my mind had. Thank you for always seeing what was best for me and for doing it but mostly thank you for being the other part of me who I’ve been searching for for 22 years. For fitting every crooked edge and every shattered side I had. Thank you for completing me in a way I’ve never known.”

Tears were pouring down his cheeks as he pressed his lips against her forehead.

Once.

Twice.

A third, fourth and finally...

A fifth time.

“Please, Mallory, forgive me for what I am going to do when I leave this room. Find it in that beautiful soul to love me again even in death and to forgive me for being such a coward that I can’t live without you.” He was gripping her hand tightly now, sobbing into her hair. 

“Forgive me for not loving you for every moment I could have, and for taking for granted the love you gave me. I never will again. Forgive me for breaking your heart in a way I’ll never forgive myself for. Please, Mallory, when I see you again open your arms to me so that we can be together again.” 

As he squeezed her hand, he could swear she squeezed back but he knew that wasn’t possible - that such things only happened in dreams or movies or books. 

“This is not my goodbye, it isn’t,” he said adamantly. Tears fell onto Mallory’s porcelain face, dripping off of his cheeks. “I will see you again but in the meantime I love you I love you I love you.” He repeated the words over and over again, sobbing them out as he held her hand to his lips. 

He felt another squeeze, this time a bit more real. Maybe even a real one. 

“I love you I love you I love you,” he continued, his eyes trained on her face now, looking for any signs of movement. Her cheek twitched, as if she wanted to brush away one of the tears there on the skin. “Mallory?!” He reached out, wiping her face clear of his tears. Her lip moved now. He must be dreaming or dead already. There was no way this could be happening. “Mallory, Baby, Baby if you’re there I need you to do something baby, Mallory are you there?!” He watched as her eyelashes fluttered, as if they wanted to open. He let out a desperate sob, punched himself in the leg to see if he was awake. He was. “Mallory, Baby that’s it, that’s it please, Mal, please I just need to see your eyes.” 

He gripped her hand with nearly white knuckles, whispering please over and over to herself. Then, there they were. Her blue eyes blinking against the light of the room. Lincoln fell backwards, tripping over the chair and landing with a THUMP on his butt, he scrambled back up. 

“You did it, oh my god you did it you came back, Baby I knew you’d come back oh my god you’re so strong you’re so strong!” Lincoln was sobbing, kissing Mallory’s hand once more before rushing towards the hallway. Before he ran out, he took one last glance at Mallory. “I’ve missed your eyes,” he whispered before disappearing into the hall.

“Do-D-Doctors-s-s! Nur-N-Nu-Nurses! G-Go-G-God-d-d!!! Whoe-Wh-Whoever will li-l-liste-l-listen!!!” A crowd of people, most of them his friends and a few others were nurses and a doctor who’d run to see the commotion. “Sh-She’s ali-a-alive.” 

With those words, so much relief flooded through his body that he fell limp to the floor as cheers erupted around him and the doctor, along with the nurses, ran past him into Mallory’s room. He slipped into unconsciousness with the first genuine smile he’d had in 19 days.

[rauliskafan]

A Hard Lesson in Vanity: Chapter 5

Authors’ Note: Who wants to go to a dinner party? Natalia has the table set, Rafael’s mind is elsewhere, and several surprises are in store!!! Read on to see how it all plays out!!! @vintagemichelle91 and I look forward to your feedback, and we hope that you enjoy!!!

          “Tell me again exactly why we’re doing this.”

           Bending before the stove to check the chicken and add some seasoning to the red potatoes, Natalia lifted her body slowly and wiped her hands with the nearest dishtowel. Only then did she reach for her husband’s suspenders and pull him to the point where his lips were almost touching hers.

           “Come on now, Atticus,” she soothed. “If you and Ms. Selby are going to work together, you need to be a united front.”

           “Are you implying that I would be anything less than a professional in her presence?” Rafael challenged, to which Natalia smiled and pecked his cheek.

           “A consummate professional,” she assured him, her lips drifting towards his ear. “But it will not be a good look on you if you’re sitting in that second chair with a scowl on your face giving Grumpy Cat a run for her money.”

           “Grumpy… did you just come up with that, hermosa?” he asked with wide eyes.

           “No. Ashtonja is teaching our sweet pea all about spirit animals.”

           “So it was Ashtonja that called me a---”

           “And Violetta said that Grumpy Cat made the most sense for her Papi.”

           Biting her lower lip, Natalia waited for Rafael’s response to their daughter’s absolutely accurate assessment of his current mood.

           “Made the most sense?” he finally echoed, twirling a few strands of Natalia’s honey-colored hair between his long fingers.

           “On the plus side, I see all kinds of memes and maybe even a movie in your future,” Natalia joked. “But no one likes a gloomy Gus.”

           “Thought I was a Grumpy Cat,” he shot back after a quick kiss, and Natalia lovingly looped her arms around his neck.

           “Tonight, I want you to be Prince Charming,” she said.

           “Then cancel this shindig. I’ll sing the girls to sleep, and we can find other things to…”

           His voice trailed off as he nibbled her ear, his hand travelling down her back to squeeze her thigh. For one second seemingly stretching into eternity, Natalia mulled his proposal. Was it too late to call the whole thing off? Send out a million regrets and reschedule for a later date?

           “No, Atticus,” she said, catching her breath and gently pushing him away. His pout caused her to giggle, and Natalia reached for his face to caress his chin. “But do save a little charm for later. Maybe I’ll even dig up some glass slippers for you.”

           At that his expression shifted, brightened, while Natalia straightened his tie.

           “Ixna on the shoes,” he hummed. “All I want is you in that blue thing with the bows… well… you know where.”

           When he waggled his eyebrows, Natalia swatted him with the dishtowel and ordered him to put on his jacket.

           “Ouch!” he cried, feigning hurt. “Not so rough, hermosa. Not yet anyway.”

           “The jacket, Atticus.”

           “I’m on it.”

           Left alone in the kitchen, Natalia let the dishtowel fall and passed her hands over the paisley pattern of her sundress. Since the twins, her curves, for the most part, had settled back into their proper places. But no matter how many times she joined Ashtonja for yoga or walked Violetta and the twins to the park, there was a bit of a belly that showed no signs of ever bidding her adieu. Her mother said that any woman who had borne three children was never going to look the same.

           And while Rafael’s desire was as potent as ever, would he really want her in the blue thing with the bows when the moment---?

           “Knock, knock!”

           Using her voice instead of her fists, Maggie announced her arrival and quickly entered the townhouse followed by Dodds.

           “Tia Maggie!”

           With Ashtonja on her heels, Violetta raced forward and jumped into the ballerina’s arms.

           “Don’t you look lovely!” Maggie cooed. “Your hair is fantastic!”

           “Ash do it,” Violetta said. “It called a waterfall braid. It very cheap.”

           Taking a step closer, Dodds carefully examined the little girl’s fair locks.

           “Oh… I get it,” he said. “No ribbons required. Very economical.”

           Violetta looked confused, and Maggie playfully slapped her husband’s chest.

           “I think she means chic, Mike,” Maggie said.

           “That’s what I say, Tia Maggie,” Violetta insisted.

           “And it’s absolutely lovely,” Maggie assured her before smiling at Ashtonja. “My compliments to the stylist.”

           The older girl blushed, and Natalia greeted her guests as Rafael emerged from the living room where Hazel and Holly were, thankfully, still napping.

           “Please tell me you didn’t bring a dessert,” Rafael said, scanning the bag under Dodds’ arm.

           “What if I did?” Maggie challenged, pressing her hands to her hips.

           “It’ll have to keep,” Rafael said. “Supposedly we’re doing this to make friends and not start World War Three.” Maggie’s eyes began to blaze, but Dodds quickly reached into the sack to reveal two bottles.

           “Pink Moscato,” the sergeant said. “Sort of a… a dessert wine.”

           “It so pretty!” Violetta exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “I want some!”

           “Oh no, muñequita,” Rafael cautioned. “This is for the grownups.”

           “But, Papi…”

           “Sorry, sweet pea,” Natalia agreed, taking the bottles in hand to chill the wine. “You really wouldn’t like this.”

           “I think I should get to make up mind for myself,” Violetta sulked until Ashtonja took her from Maggie’s arms with a smile.

           “V, it really isn’t that great,” Ashtonja said.

           “How you know, Ash?”

           “Well, I…”

           The girl’s speech stalled as the others looked on, and she tried to laugh her impromptu confession off.

           “It’s really not important,” Ashtonja said. “Don’t you trust me, V?”

           Violetta appeared to ponder the question for a few seconds before firmly nodding her head.

           “Okay,” Violetta said. “Next to Harold you my best friend. And beside, they all get so silly when they drink too much of whatever it is.”

           Now Ashtonja narrowed her eyes, and Rafael suggested peeking in on the twins for the hundredth time until the guest of honor arrived.

           “I’ll give you a hand, Natty,” Maggie offered, and the sisters moved to the kitchen

           “It smells great,” Maggie said. “Looks like you’re pulling out all the stops.”

           “I know that Rafael isn’t happy with the way things are,” Natalia said, closing the oven again. “But this is what it is right now. He needs to make the best of it.”

           “And you need to keep both eyes opened.” Pulling some plates from the cupboard, Natalia looked to her sister.

           “Meaning what?” she asked.

           “Meaning that a certain Ms. Eve Selby doesn’t get it when someone else’s man is off limits.”

           Slack-jawed, Natalia peered over her sister’s shoulder to see Dodds cradling Holly as Rafael helped Violetta sit with Hazel.

           “Mike?” Natalia whispered. “He didn’t mention… did she try to---?”

           “My husband?” Maggie choked out. “Not a chance. If she lays one finger on Mike, I’ll scratch her eyes out.”

           “Before you pirouette and leap away, right?” Natalia teased.

           “Natty, you know that I can be a bitch when I have to.”

           “Like that first night Rafael and I took you out to dinner.”

           “That was different,” Maggie sighed. “That was misguided angst and not realizing what a wonderful place the world could be.”

           Looking to the living room, she blew Dodds a kiss and chuckled as he helped Holly wave in her direction.

           “But this… this is staking a claim. Amanda could tell you a thing or two---”

           “So that’s what this is about,” Natalia said. “All because she’s making friends with Sonny?”

           “Amanda is devastated!” Maggie said. “How can you just shrug it off like it’s nothing?”

           “I’m not doing that,” Natalia assured her sister as she put the finishing touches on her dinner table and scanned the scene to make sure that it appeared perfect. “But it’s just a little crush.”

           “I still say that she’s trouble,” Maggie said, starting to reach for a piece of bread.

           “No,” Natalia said. “Don’t spoil your dinner.”

           “My diet is the last thing you need to worry about tonight, Natty,” Maggie said when there was a knock at the door.

           “Right now, you watch the spider about to step into your parlor,” she continued. Natalia hushed her sister and met Rafael as he moved to answer the door, and she linked her arm in his.

           “Smile, Atticus,” she reminded him.

           “As I count the seconds until this is over.”

           Opening the door, they saw Eve Selby on the stoop wearing a sleek black cocktail dress, a bright smile…

           …and Carisi on her arm.

           “Hello, there!” Eve crooned leaning forward to kiss Natalia’s cheeks and shake Rafael’s hand. “I hope it’s okay that I brought… a friend.”

           “I… of course,” Natalia said, trying to mask her shock. Carisi kissed her and stepped across the threshold, shedding his overcoat.

           “Sorry to be a party crasher,” Carisi said, waving at Dodds and the girls. “Kind of a last-minute thing.”

           “Don’t be silly, Sonny,” Natalia said, taking his coat and exchanging a quick look with her husband. “You know that you’re always welcome here.”

           “I’m happy to hear that, Natalia,” Eve said, removing her wrap to reveal a plunging neckline as she flipped her dark, wavy hair over her shoulders. “You didn’t have a blind date or something stashed away for me, did you?��

           “I… well no,” Natalia admitted.

           “I figured as much,” Eve said. “This way you have a balanced table.”

           Her smile never faltered as she took Carisi’s arm again, and Maggie inched closer.

           “I heard that,” she said. “Can I be a bitch to her now?”

           “Maggie, please,” Natalia cautioned. “I’m sure that she didn’t mean anything by it.”

           “I think we need to open that Moscato before we even sit down to eat,” Maggie suggested.

           A drink did sound like a decent idea, and Natalia followed her sister back to the kitchen for a sip to calm her nerves, telling herself that she could still get through this dinner and achieve the desired result.

           “Nice, Natalia,” Carisi said, taking a bite of the chicken. “My recipe?”

           “Mine, Sonny,” she said. “But you might have inspired the potatoes.”

           “All in the seasoning,” the detective said, and they shared a smile. Rafael nursed his scotch, and Natalia looked over her shoulder to where Ashtonja and Violetta sat with their plates and Harold at a slightly smaller table. Her heart lifted at the sight of the older girl making the night special for her sweet pea, and the Moscato was more than doing its job when the sound of Eve’s voice turned Natalia’s head back to the table.

           “I don’t see the harm in talking a little shop,” Eve said. Maggie rolled her eyes, but Dodds nodded politely and Carisi’s smile expanded.

           “You’re gonna love this, counselor,” Carisi said to Rafael.

           “Oh?” Rafael asked. “Are you suddenly her second chair?”

           “I… no, Barba,” Carisi assured him. “We were just gabbing on the way here and---”

           “And there shouldn’t be any secrets among friends,” Eve said. “Unless you other gentlemen prefer not to burden your wives with the nitty gritty.”

           Natalia’s grip tightened around the stem of her glass, and she felt Maggie just kick her shin under the table. She shot her a warning glance as Rafael leaned forward in his chair.

           “No secrets here,” he said. “You think you have a grand plan of action for the jury?”

           Eve dabbed the corners of her lip with her napkin and pressed her palms beside her plate.

           “It’s an all too familiar story,” Eve started. “Put the victim’s sexual history on trial. Well Marcia Brown has nothing on Mr. Frost. When I’m done with him, it will be his… sexual exploits sitting with the jury as they head into deliberations.”

           “Just how do you intend on doing that?” Rafael queried. “Prior bad acts aren’t always the easiest things to work into the official transcript.”

           “Won’t be a problem,” Eve said. “The man hasn’t had a true hit in nearly a decade. If I play into that, I guarantee that he’ll spill the spoils of his other… conquests. He’ll want to prove that he can still get something up. Then we just have to sit back and watch the fireworks.”

           Holding her breath, Natalia looked to her husband. Slowly and subtly, his face softened, and he raised his glass.

           “Not bad, Ms. Selby,” he finally said.

           “It’s genius, Barba,” Carisi chimed in.

           “I’d call it clever, Carisi. Let’s leave it at that.”

           “You can change your opinion once we get the conviction,” Eve said. With that she picked up her glass, and she and Rafael clinked crystal as Natalia sank back in her seat and sighed happily.

           “We’ll have to do this again when that happens,” Natalia said.

           “That’s so sweet of you, Natalia,” Eve agreed. “We’ll see.”

           “Mami!”

           Violetta rushed forward and leaped into her mother’s lap.

           “Sorry, Natalia,” Ashtonja said.

           “It’s not a problem,” she assured Ashtonja as she kissed her daughter’s cheek. “What is it, sweet pea?”

           “I want to show them how I tell Hazel and Holly apart.”

           “We do that with ribbons, muñequita,” Rafael said, casting Dodds a quick smirk.

           “That maybe what you do, Papi,” Violetta sighed. “I have a trick. Can I show everyone? Please?”

             Agreeing as she lowered Violetta to the floor, Natalia watched her daughter lead the crowd towards the twins.

           “You need any help?” Rafael asked his wife as she started to pick up the empty plates.

           “No, I want you to keep making nice,” Natalia said, giving him a kiss. “See? She’s really not so bad.”

           “I don’t know if I’d go that---”

           “Just say that I’m right, Atticus,” Natalia teased. “And I’m getting closer to wearing the blue thing for you later on.”

           “So can I cut to the end of this?”

           “I said I’m close,” Natalia said. “But for now, keep the charm going.”

           “Mission received and on my way,” Rafael said, saluting her, the scotch obviously hitting his brain. “And she really isn’t so awful.”

           Content in his realization, Natalia went to the kitchen and began rinsing off the dishes. Even as Eve Selby put on airs and somewhere Rollins was sitting alone and hurt, at least a peace seemed established. Glad to have done that much, Natalia loaded the dishwasher, her mind drifting towards dessert when a shadow stunned her where she stood.

           “Oh! You startled me.”

           “Sorry,” Eve said, sauntering closer. “Are you sure you don’t need a hand?”

           “No,” Natalia said, shaking her head. “Did you see Violetta’s trick?”

           “So scientific,” Eve said with a small laugh. “Apparently Hazel cries whenever the pink hippo appears, but the other little darling is all smiles.”

           “I know,” Natalia said. “Have you figured out that Holly is Violetta’s favorite?”

           “I think she loves them both,” Eve said. “As does your husband.”

           Still smiling, Natalia reached into the refrigerator for a two-tier chocolate cake with vanilla icing.

           “He’s a wonderful father,” Natalia said. “I’m sure that you two will work well together.”

           Eve stayed silent until Natalia looked over her shoulder. For a second, she saw the other ADA’s face flat, but just as quickly her smile returned.

           “Definitely,” Eve said. “My goodness, Natalia. How do you do it? Three little girls… the other one.”

           “Ashtonja’s no trouble. Violetta adores her.”

           “Obviously,” Eve continued. “Plus, this meal… the party… and you almost pull off that sundress. Not an easy feat for someone who just had two babies.”

           Natalia froze, and Eve helped herself to a piece of cake, her smile escalating as she retired to the living room. Suddenly unsteady on her feet, Natalia gripped the edge of the countertop and felt her breath quicken in her chest when another shadow fell over her, and she turned fast to see Rafael walking towards her.

           “Everything okay in here?” he asked.

           “I… it’s fine,” she said, her hands shaking around a cake dish until Rafael lightly took hold of her arms and pressed his lips to the top of her head.

           “Are you sure?” he asked.

           “Yeah,” she said, falling into his hug and leaning back into his chest. “You two really all good now?”

           “I promise, hermosa,” he assured her. “Bet we even get a win with this case because of her plan. And then maybe I get out of that second chair.”

           So even though she was hurt, she would let the rest go. Eve Selby wasn’t the first mean girl that Natalia had encountered in this lifetime. She probably wouldn’t be the last. As much as she wanted to smack the smug expression from the her face, tonight was about mending fences. That mission was accomplished, and Natalia would let her own feelings and fears fall away for the moment.

           But as for the blue thing … it would likely stay buried in the closet along with its bows for the better part of this night.

[kenshiliker]

mcfuck load of things i was tagged in going here thanks everyone that tagged me & im sorry for this Entire Mess

Also I was tagged in 3 different things that have like similar fuckign questions so im jst gonna stick them all into 1 tag bc if not you’d have me repeating my damn names 18 times and thts no fun for Anyone)

Meet the blogger meme (Tagged by @bodhierso, thank u ark!! @woehuxbub tHJANKS FAMTHER & @orsonkraennic)

i. name:  徐

ii. nickname: OH LORD I HAVE SO MANY um I’ll just put the main ones; Brucie, Jerry, Tiaan, King Dickard II

iii. zodiac sign: Sagittarius / Dragon (Chinese Zodiac)

iv. height: ??? UH I think 160 cm the last I measured but I’m not sure. Over 5′3″ iirc.

v. orientation: Ace (the helpful place)

vi. ethnicity: Chinese 

vii. favorite fruit: Orange, Strawberry and Banana, L E M O N (u fucKIGN COWARDS)

viii. favorite season: Autumn/Winter but I’m stuck in hell so guess I’ll Die

ix. favorite book / book series: I don’t read many books but I like Shakespeare’s stuff & also Sherlock Holmes

x. favorite flower: Hibiscus rosa-sinensis (this is as patriotic as I get tbh), PLANTA GENISTA

xi. favorite scent: Nothing too strong or I’ll feel nauseous. Maybe a soft vanilla? ...And maybe orange. Or Lemon.

xii. favorite color: ORANGE (funny story is that my dad’s fav colour was orange and I decided to project frm a young age and wow guess what Orange has been my fav colour ever since), White, Black, Blue, Red

xiii. coffee, tea or cocoa: T e a slorp slorp

xiv. average sleep hours: Depends on what I have planned the next day. Lately (due to exam month) it’s been about 5 hrs per week so guess I’ll die

xv. cat or dog person: I like both as long as I’m not being chased

xvi. favorite fictional characters: ghhh Bruce Wayne, Tiaan Jerjerrod, Illya Kuryakin, B.J. Hunnicutt, Freddy Newandyke, Cal Lightman, (and Duke of Aumerle & Richard II if they count,,, hte Shookspeare version)

xvii. dream trip: UK,,, Get Me Out Of Here, 

xviii. blogs created: 4 (This one, TMFU blog, Secret Shakespeare Blog & Secret Art Blog) (I haven’t posted on the latter two) (That’s why they’re a ‘secret’)

xix. number of followers: 940 here (how even the Fuck) & 1582 on the TMFU blog.

xx.  random fact: I recently sat on the hard wood floor for 10 hours straight (s/o to you if you remember this) and felt myself just physically shrivel up and die. I literally hurt everywhere bc if I wasn’t sitting down, I was laying on the ground and gOD It took me a week to feel better but yeah god 11/10 would not recommend

xxi. number of blankets you sleep with: There’s like 4 on my bed lmao I’M LIVING

xxii.  blog created: I’ve had a tumblr since like... 2010 and I didn’t really use it until 2012, 2013 was my first year I was really active

xxiii. nationality: Malaysian

Tagged by Krenny again, to answer all these questions, and then tag 15 people 5 things you’ll find in my bag: SUPERMAN WALLET, Phone, Powerbank + Cable, Earphones, Art Supplies

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom: 5000 Stuffed Animals, DC shit, SW garb, The decapitated head of Jar Jar Binks that greets the visitors, Convention merch (+4 GAY REALLY FUCKING GAY, SO GAY THAT IF MY PARENTS FOUND THEM I’D BE FUCKING DEAD, fanbooks of TMFU which are in Chinese, sent by my lovely Internet Sister)

5 things I’ve always wanted to do: Get some air-dry paper clay and make tiny sculptures or something, learn how to paint properly, have nice handwriting, visit the UK again, WATCH A PLAY

5 things that make me happy: My unhealthy coping mechanisms, my favs, my friends!!, drawing (sometimes), reading/learning about something I’m interested in

5 things I’m currently into: TIM ROTH, LIE TO ME, Shakespeare, Star Wars, DC

5 things on my to do list: Get good fuckin grades for once in my damn life aye, finish watching Lie To Me, finish reading As You Like It and Othello, finish the school year & be done with it for the rest of my life, memorise all the experiments for the physics syllabus by Thursday if not my teacher will literally grill me

and lastly, tagged by @bunn1cula​ and Krenny again! Thank u two am loaf the both of u,

the last

1. drink: water 2. phone call: irl friend that is saved as ‘Mr. Pink’ in my phone (as per their request fhghg) 3. text message: ‘👌👌’ or if chats count then:

4. song you listened to: HOOKED ON A FEELING 5. time you cried: Yesterday while watching Lie To Me 6. dated someone twice: Nooooot yet 7. kissed someone and regretted it: NOT FOR ME THnks 8. been cheated on: ?? I don’t know. Probably not. 9. lost someone special: Yes 10. been depressed: Yeah, still am, but I think it’s not so bad nowadays (hopefully). 11. got drunk and thrown up: Never

3 favourite colours

12. Orange 13. White 14. Black

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: Yeah, definitely!  16. fallen out of love: NOT YET BUT MAYBE SOON 17. laughed until you cried: GOD A HECK OF A LOT OF TIMES 18. found out someone was talking about you: No, not really. I mean, there’s an asshole in my class that loves talking shit about me but I honestly don’t give a fuck about him he’s Irrelavant. 19. met someone who changed you: I don’t really know,,, I think I’m still the same? 20. found out who your friends are: I’ve never really had an issue with anyone, really. Maybe except one or two people, but yeah, the rest of y’all are alright. 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: NO

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: About 60/93 of them. I plan to boot a ton of them after I graduate tho. 23. do you have any pets: UNFORTUNATELY NO but I’d love a cat 24. do you want to change your name: UM SURE I mean it’d be kinda nice bc I hate when people I hate tainted my name by calling it, so yea, Yes 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I don’t think I did anything at all. 26. what time did you wake up: 6.30 a.m. (gotta love tht School Life) 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: ,,,Watching Lie To Me, reading fics instead of studying for my exam, 28. name something you can’t wait for: GRADUATING and getting tf outta here. 29. when was the last time you saw your mum: Last night ghghg 31. what are you listening to right now: Stuck In The Middle With You 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I was the person named Tom once, so, yes. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: My shitty fucking class/school. 34. most visited website: Tumblr, YouTube 35. hair colour: Dark brown 36. long or short hair: Short! 37. do you have a crush on someone: Mnnn 50/50 38. what do you like about yourself: I’m kinda sorta funny & I can draw sometimes 39. piercings: None 40. blood type: A+ 41. nickname: Jerry, Brucie, Tiaan, King Dickard II 42. relationship status: Single & That’s Alrighty 43. zodiac: Sagittarius 44. pronouns: He/Him or They/Them 45. favourite tv show: RN IT’S LIE TO ME (TIM ROTH COULD FUCKIGNG LIE TO ME RIGHT IN MY FACE & I’D BE LIKE WOW UR TELLIGN THE TRUTH I BELIEVE IN U), but I also like M*A*S*H, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and The Twilight Zone 46. tattoos: I idon’t really want any! 47. right or left handed: Right

first

48. surgery: None to my knowledge, or maybe a few when I was super young bc my moves (lungs) are weak babe 49. piercing: None (my mom keeps trying to get me to pierce my ear but it’s not my thing, & also if I do get it i’ll only get one and it’ll be the Gay Ear) 50. sport: Football, I think? In any case, I’m bomb as hell at getting hit in the fucking head by the sports balls.  51. vacation: London or Australia iirc 52. pair of trainers: I don’t remember either, I can barely remember anything from 2016.

more general

53. eating: Nothing at the moment 54. drinking: Water 55. i’m about to: Nap or watch Lie To Me (I haven’t decided) 56. waiting for: My exams to be over 57. want: Nothing at the moment 58. get married: Sure? I’m not really opposed to marriage as a whole, but if it starts getting yikes you bet your ass I’m gonna fucking bounce 59. career: I don’t have a career rn but I’d like to do illustration/concept art it seems p cool. Either that or become a psychologist and charge people $30 for readings.

which is better

60. hugs or kisses: I don’t like either 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: I don’t really care. I love both short girls and guys (@tiM), and tall girls and guys are just as good! 63. older or younger: Doesn’t really matter to me either. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Also doesn’t really matter but if ur arms are good I’m definitely eyes emoji af 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: See, I’d say hesitant but I don’t really know that either. Just as long as you’re not doing some stupid shit we’re good.

have you ever

67. kissed a stranger: No 68. drank hard liquor: Nope.. Well, not to my knowledge. 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t wear either ghgng 70. turned someone down: No 71. sex on the first date: N O 72. broken someone’s heart: UH Yeah when I was 13 (how even the fucK.) 73. had your heart broken: yEP 74. been arrested: Never bc I’m a cop, Larry 75. cried when someone died: Yes. I’m okay throughout the funeral but the minute it registers that I’m never gonna see them again, I’m gooooone af. Even if I didn’t particularly like the person when they were alive. 76. fallen for a friend: YEAH!!! But it’s usually one of those new-friend crushes sourry.

do you believe in

77. yourself: I mean, Sometimes. It’s like... Can I do it? Most Likely. Did I do it correctly? Most Likely Not. 78. miracles: Not really, no. 79. love at first sight: Yeah, sure, I mean everyone’s different, so who’s to say just because I don’t feel it someone else doesn’t. 80. santa claus: No way my dude 81. kiss on the first date: Depends bc at mY AGE I’m not boutta put my face anywhere near someone else’s thts jst weird 82. angels: Mayhaps,,,, I don’t believe that they don’t exist, if that makes sense.

other

83. current best friend’s name: Mmmnnnn Kylogram (Kyle Ron), maybe? I’ve a few best friends. 84. eye colour: Dark brown, they look kinda nice in the sun I guess. 85. favourite movie: RESERVOIR DOGS, Four Rooms, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead, The Lion in Winter, TMFU, Wonder Woman, ROTJ, Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade

--

This is a big Mess, but yeA I’m tagging whoever was mentioned above & no one else bc this has gone on for long enough, to do the one you weren’t tagged in or hell do the first one if you want, bc that one is a compilation of like 3 different tag memes ghfh. Good bye u all.

(OH YEAH if ur a mutual/follower/whoEVER who sees this feel free to do if if you’d like!! Say I tagged you if you’d like to c:)

[sinsiriuslyemo]

Good afternoon! I’m feeling better today, thanks to hubs, who is off and took care of the kiddo this morning so I could get some much needed rest. Still have a cough, but it’s getting better! Anyway, here is episode 3 of Cuba v DR!! In this episode, looks like I’m not the only one who’s under the weather, and Rafael’s threats hit closer to home! Stay tuned to @missjennifercole for episode 4!

Also, with regard to translations, I will be creating a post for that later today. We have some errands we need to run, so I’m not able to do it right this second. But when we get home, I’ll create one for this season, as well as update last season’s. The masterlist for last season is completely updated though! Thanks so much for your continued patience, guys :)

EPISODE 3

“No, the babies need to be away from your sister right now,” you said to Eddie as he groaned and carried them upstairs. Poor Lily had been throwing up all morning and you were starting to feel a little funky yourself.

“Mommy, I want popcles,” Lily whimpered. “Please?”

“Okay baby,” you carried her to the freezer as you rocked her. “It's okay my love.” You handed her a popsicle and kissed her hair. “Tell me if you think you're gonna be sick again, princess.”

“Kay mommy,” she mumbled just as Nevada walked in after picking up Sawyer and driving her and Chibby to the safehouse he’d just picked up in the West Village. Just for now, until she felt safe enough to be back in the Heights.

He came up, took one look at Lily and frowned as he felt her forehead.

“Que te pasa, princesa?” he asked softly. “Te siente mal?”

“Lily throwed up,” she whimpered and leaned her head against your shoulder. You nodded as you kissed her hair. “It's okay baby, let's go take a nap, okay?” You stroked her hair and rocked her while she sucked on the popsicle.

“Nevada can you grab a bowl and bring it with us to her room?” You asked softly as you started to carry her upstairs.

“Oye put her in the bath and I’ll change her sheets,” he called up you, grabbing a bowl from the cabinet beside the oven.

You took her to the bathroom, setting her in the bathtub and running some warm water for her.

“My sweet baby,” you cooed and kissed her nose. “Let's get you all clean and in jammies and you can just watch tv and sleep all day, okay?”

You kissed her forehead and smiled before making a face and moving quickly to the toilet to have your own puking moment. Heaving into the toilet, you cringed and wiped your mouth off, rinsing it and going back to Lily once you'd finished.

You shampooed her hair and washed her clean, singing her bath time song while she cried and clung to you. So you moved to sit in the bath with her, still clothed since she wouldn't let go of you long enough to strip.

You rocked her, “It's okay baby.”

“Ven, princesa,” Nevada said, coming into the bathroom with a capful of Children’s Tylenol. “Drink this, mi amor,” he said after he’d gotten her out of the tub and wrapped in a fluffy towel.

“You got her?” you asked hopefully, hoping for a moment to sit.

“Yeah, I got her. You don’t look too good either, mami. Go hop in the shower, I’ll get her in bed and then change our sheets,” he answered, feeding Lily the Tylenol and then picking her up to dress her.

You stripped and wrapped yourself in a towel going to the shower and washing off. When you shuffled into your bedroom, Nevada had just finished putting fresh sheets and a new comforter on the bed. Smirking softly at you, he held up some flu medicine for you.

“Ven aca, mi reina linda,” he said, tipping the plastic cup to your lips.

You sip it and smile gratefully at him. “Check on the babies?” You pled.

He nodded, gesturing to the bed with his chin before he went to look in on the twins. He found Eddie on the floor with them, playing patty cake.

“Hey, mijo. They okay?” he asked, coming to sit beside Eddie.

“Dah-dee!” Fiona held her arms out. “Up!”

“Okay, up,” Nevada replied, picking up his daughter. “Oye, you’re getting pretty good with your words, mi amor.”

She hugged him tight and looked at him. “Bes,” she puckered her lips. He smirked, closing the space between them to give her a peck on her little mouth.

“Oye, Eddie, how’ve you been feeling?” he asked, looking down at his nephew.

“I'm fine, it's just Tia and Lily that are puking.” Eddie chuckled at NJ who thought that sticking his diapered butt on the carpet was hilarious. Nevada chuckled as well.

“Bueno, I don’t want you guys to get sick too, especially these two. I can take you over to tio Rafa’s if you want. Quieres?” he asked.

“Sure, I love spending time with tio,” he grinned and nodded as he rocked NJ. NJ screeched and kicked his legs. He babbled before looking around for you. He whimpered, “ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma.”

“Ella esta durmiendo, papo,” Nevada answered as he took his phone out and dialed Rafael. “Oye, mi hermano, que hace?” he asked when Rafael answered the phone.

“Hey I'm at the bakery, is something wrong?” Rafael had been on edge lately from the phone calls.

“No, just Y/N and Lily are sick. They’ve been puking since this morning, so I was hoping you might be able to let Eddie and the twins stay with you for a couple days. Puedes?” Nevada replied, laying his head against Fiona’s when she rested against his shoulder.

Rafael thought for a moment. “Sure,” he said a little hesitant. “Yeah, that should be fine. But would you mind keeping one of your men on my street?”

“Yeah, I can do that...why what’s going on?”

“Just some phone calls, it's fine.”

“It’s fine, so you’re asking me to keep a guy over there instead of asking one of your cop buddies? What’s going on, bro?” Nevada asked again.

“I'm just being safe, I wouldn't be worried except for the fact that the kids are staying over. Better safe than sorry.”

“Oye, si quieres I can ask Gladys to take the twins pero Eddie really wants to see you,” Nevada answered.

“I'd be happy to have them all, Nevada, it's fine.”

“Okay,” Nevada answered. “I’ll put Sucio and Jose on you. You’ll let me know if you need anything, right?” he asked.

“Yes, of course,” Rafael replied.

“Alright, I’ll bring them by in like an hour, okay?”

“Esta bien,” Rafael said, hanging up and smiling at Roxie. “My sister and Lily are sick, so Nevada asked me to take the twins and my nephew for a could of days,” he said softly as she finished serving the last customer of the night.

“Oh my goodness. Right, do you want me to stay over and help out?” She offered with a warm smile.

“You’re exhausted, mi amor. I’m sure two nine month olds and a grumpy teenager is the last thing you wanna deal with,” he replied with a smirk.

“I don't mind, your family is very important to me.” She meant it.

“Okay,” he said softly. “I’m gonna call Izzy, let her know Nevada’s coming by with them, make sure she’s home. Afterwards, I can help you close up.”

She nodded and smiled at him, kissing his cheek as her attention turned back to her bakery, “oh jeez.” The line had gotten out of hand again, she smiled and turned to head back to work.

Rafael dialed Izzy, keeping his eyes on the line forming behind the counter.

“Hey,” he said into the phone. “I just wanted to give you a heads up that Nevada is coming by with the twins and Eddie. They’re gonna stay with us for a few days.”

“Oh awesome!” She said genuinely thrilled. “Okay, I'll watch them till you get home.”

“Okay, I gotta help Roxie get the last of these customers fed, and then we’ll be home,” he replied.

“Take your time,” Izzy said softly before ending the call.

By the time the day came to a close, Roxie and Rafael were both exhausted. Still, he helped her clean up and after she’d locked the front doors, he pulled down the steel shutters and padlocking them. Handing her the keys, he smirked at her as they went to the curb and hailed a cab.

“You know what this reminds me of?” he asked as he opened the door for her.

“What?” She asked softly, getting inside the cab, sliding in so he could follow in after her.

“That night in London that we worked at the bar together...save for my ruse of not speaking much English,” he answered, smirking and giving the cab driver his address.

“Ahh, right my Latin lover,” she purred and leaned over, kissing him.

“Mhm,” he hummed as his phone began to ring. “God damn it,” he muttered, looking down at his phone. “Hello?”

Another person’s laughter followed by a hang up.

“Again?” Roxie whispered, looking at him nervously.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, looking over at her. “Want me to drop you home?” he asked. He didn’t want to spend the night away from her, but if it would keep her safe, he would in a heartbeat.

“No, I'm not leaving your side until this is resolved,” she whispered nervously. She pulled him close. “You don't get to go through this alone, I won't let you.”

Rafael smiled at her, landing a soft kiss against her mouth. “I love you so much, Roxanne,” he whispered, kissing her again as the cab pulled up to his apartment building. He paid the driver and walked upstairs with her, opening the door to find all the kids in the living room watching a movie.

Eddie turned and his eyes went wide as he looked at Roxie, quickly standing and smirking at her.

“You’re Roxie?” he asked incredulously. “Holy shit, tio. You out-kicked your coverage, big time,” he added in a chuckle.

“Thank you, Eddie,” Rafael mumbled, arching a brow. “Roxie, this is my oldest nephew, Eduardo.”

Roxie smiled and pulled Eddie into a warm hug.

“Hello, Eddie, I'm so glad to finally meet you.”

“And she’s British? Fuck, you just get hotter--”

“Okay, Eddie, thank you,” Rafael said with a smirk, pulling Roxie against his side again. “Have you guys eaten?” he asked.

“Yeah, I'm good, I ate before I came and Izzy ate Lila's-”

“EDDIE!” Izzy threw a pillow at him, blushing bright red.

“I was gonna say leftovers, you freak!” He shouted back with a laugh.

Rafael shook his head, rolling his eyes before he went and picked up NJ off the floor.

“What about these little monsters? They eat yet?” he asked, blowing a raspberry against NJ’s belly.

NJ screeched in excitement. The baby was so easily delighted. The polar opposite of his sister. Rafael laughed and blew another raspberry on the baby boy’s tummy.

“Are you hungry, mijo?” he asked in a baby voice.

“Oh my God, please do not ever do that voice ever, ever again,” Izzy groaned, looking up at him. “Like, ever in your life,” she added.

“You like my funny voices don’t you. Tell tia you like my funny voices,” he cooed to NJ.

NJ babbled excitedly, “Ba ba ba ba ba ba,” he giggled and patted Rafael's face.

Roxie picked up Fiona and smiled, “Hi there princess, you're beautiful. Are you a babbler like your brother?”

“Mama,” Fiona said and looked around.

“Tu mama se siente mal, mi amor. You’re gonna stay with tio Rafi and tia Roxie for a couple days,” Rafael answered, unable to help the way his mouth curled into a soft smile at the sight of Roxie holding a baby. “Eddie, where are their bottles?” he asked, looking over at his oldest nephew.

“In the fridge,” Eddie shrugged and nodded to Fiona. “Don't get your feelings hurt if she doesn't smile, she's a little bit defective,” he turned his attention back to the tv.

“I don't think you're defective,” Roxie whispered. “Just...pensive.”

Rafael boiled some water to heat the bottles, bouncing NJ with one arm.

“Izzy, can you put out their pack and play? It’s late, they should get in bed. You can just put it in my room, that way you and Lila can get some sleep,” he said over his shoulder.

“I already set it up in your room, there more space in there,” Izzy answered without taking her eyes off the movie.

“Okay,” Rafael replied, handing one of the bottles to Roxie and moving into his bedroom. Sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard, he offered NJ the bottle as Roxie took up space beside him with Fiona. “They’re getting so big,” he mused softly.

“They're both gorgeous,” she whispered and kissed Fiona's long dark hair. “She looks just like her mother. And there's a lot of Nevada in NJ.”

NJ stared up at Rafael while he suckled the bottle, hands gripped tight around the container housing his food and his eyes slowly began to cross as he grew more and more sleepy.

Fiona ate in breaks, eating for a few minutes before turning her head and looking around, then eating again.

“Do you still want children?” she asked curiously.

He looked over at her, and smiled softly, nodding his head.

“A boy and a girl, Rafael Jr and Beatrice, that was the plan right?” he answered. “Why, do you...I mean was that just a game?” he asked softly. “Cause it wasn’t so much a game...for me. I meant every word I said, even if at the time it seemed impossible for us to be together.”

“I meant every word,” she whispered and looked down at Fiona, kissing her nose. “Two beautiful babies,” she whispered and Fiona looked up at Roxie and actually smiled, just for a moment, but it was a definite smile.

“She likes you,” he observed. “According to Y/N, she hardly ever smiles.” Taking the bottle away from NJ, he set it on the night stand and carefully moved the sleeping baby to lay against his chest, gently rubbing a large hand over his back. Sniffing the top of the baby’s head, he sighed. “Babies always smell so good,” he hummed softly.

“I used to hold my sister like this, I never let her go,” she said with a smile and kissed her hair. “Such a sweet smell.”

Fiona was still wide awake, sitting up comfortably and looking around.

“You aren't sleepy Fiona?”

“No.” She mumbled firmly, looking around. “Dah-dee,” she whimpered, looking around for Nevada.

“Daddy’s taking care of Lily and mommy,” Rafael offered softly. “He’ll come see you tomorrow. It’s time for sleep, okay?”

Fiona just stared at her uncle, blinking a couple of times before she looked down at her brother, fast asleep.

She shook her head, “No,” she said and stuck her thumb in her mouth.

“Yes,” Rafael replied, moving to put NJ down in the pack and play before he reached for Fiona.

“No,” Fiona said softly and shook her head at Rafael. “No.”

“Yes, tio said it’s time for bed,” Rafael replied, looking up at Roxie for back up.

“It's time to sleep, beautiful,” she whispered and stroked Fiona's hair, handing her to Rafael and letting him sit her down in the pack and play. She just sat up, still looking around.

“Fiona, mi amor go to sleep,” Rafael said as he took off his shirt and grabbed a clean one from his dressed along with a fresh pair of boxer briefs. “I’m gonna hop in the shower, and then you wanna order in?” he asked Roxie.

“Sure,” she smiled as she watched Fiona. “Do you want more cuddles?”

“Yeah,” Fiona mumbled and held out her arms, making grabbing hands.

Roxie grabbed her and rocked the baby gently, stroking her hair. Rafael smirked, shaking his head as he moved into the bathroom.

“She can smell your weakness,” he sang playfully, disappearing into the bathroom.

She laughed and rocked the baby. “It's okay, tio is silly.”

“Yeah,” Fiona replied just as Eddie came into the bedroom.

“Hey, where’s my tio?” he asked.

“Shower,” Roxie answered with a smile.

“Oh, okay. Can me, Lila and Izzy go to the light show in the village?” he asked.

“It's a bit dark to be out, and your aunt and Lila don't always make the best choices. If Rafael says it's okay, you can go,” she shrugged.

“Okay,” he replied, walking straight for the bathroom. “Tio…”

“Eddie, what the hell?!”

“Chill out, I’m not looking at your cock or anything, gross. I wanna know if me and Lila and Izzy can go to the light show in the village. Roxie said we could if you said it was okay,” Eddie said.

“That’s not a good idea, mijo. Not tonight. I’ll take you guys tomorrow night, okay?” Rafael replied.

“Seriously? Come on, we're all bored. Izzy and Lila are practically bumping tacos on the couch and I wanna do something fun.”

“Eddie, I said no. The twins are sleeping, now can you get out so I can get dressed?” Rafael answered.

“You used to be the cool uncle,” Eddie grumbled and moved out to the bedroom, sitting beside Roxie. “He said no,” Eddie said sadly, biting his bottom lip and then sighing. “I just feel like...since my parents had the babies and Lily...I'm not important anymore.” He knew just what to say to pull on Roxie's heart strings.

“Oh sweetheart, you're very important to your parents,” she smiled.

“Everyone pays attention to the babies and Lily...I'm just the extra kid.”

“No, no of course you aren't. How about this, why don't you pick a movie and I'll watch it with you.”

“Really?” He hugged her tight, “thanks Roxie, you're really cool.”

He went to pick a movie before moving back into the bed and sitting beside her, taking up Rafael's space. When his uncle emerged from the shower, he smirked at Roxie and Eddie on the bed, rolling his eyes as he pulled down his shirt over his torso.

“They can all smell your weakness, cariño,” he said with a chuckle. “What should I order? Sushi? Chinese?”

“Pizza,” Eddie grinned. He looked at Roxie pleadingly and she nodded after a long moment.

“I thought you said you ate already, mijo?” Rafael mused, but scrolled through his phone for the number to the pizza place.

“So? There's always room for pizza,” he grinned and looked at Roxie. “You have such beautiful eyes, my tio Nevada would tell me I should also compliment your hair.”

She smiled at him. “Well sometimes that's true, girls like to hear they're beautiful but they also like compliments with substance,” she explained softly.

Rafael couldn’t stop smirking and he arched a brow at Eddie’s efforts as he dialed the pizza place, ordering two large pies.

“Okay, so I’m kicked out of my own bed till the pizza gets here?” he asked playfully.

“Of course not tio, come watch with us,” he scooted closer to Roxie to make room and patted the seat beside him.

Again Rafael arched a brow, but went and sat on the other side of his nephew, letting an arm rest behind him.

“What are we watching?” he asked.

“Basic instinct,” he said with a smile.

Roxie chuckled, “Sharon Stone fan?”

“Who isn’t,” both Rafael and Eddie chimed simultaneously, high fiving each other afterwards.

“What are the girls doing?” Rafael asked.

“Probably lezing on the couch.”

“Lezing, this is the second time I've heard that today, is it a New York term?” Roxie asked Rafael.

“I don’t want you saying that word, Eddie, it’s disrespectful, por favor,” Rafael replied gently before he looked at Roxie. “I think it’s more like a United States thing, and typically it’s used in a negative way. Also, it’s not an actual word. When you’re...doing whatever it is you do with your girlfriend, you don't call it ‘straighting,’ do you?”

“We call it shagging.”

“That's hot,” Eddie grinned at her. “Say some dirty words.”

“Hey…” Rafael interjected, looking at his nephew with a pointed glance.

Roxie looked at Rafael and giggled a bit. “Now Eddie,” she said softly. “You don't want your uncle getting jealous now, do you? He already has to watch his handsome nephew sit with his girlfriend. You should be nice.”

Eddie lit up, seemingly satisfied at the idea that he had a shot if he wanted it, but he was just too good of a guy to make a move.

Rafael rolled his eyes, “You know, Eddie...two wrongs don’t make a right,” he said softly, looking at his nephew.

He could only imagine how betrayed Eddie had felt when Izzy told him that she’d almost slept with Cleo, especially after the betrayal he experienced with Reina. Still, he wanted the best for Eddie, that included being able to be in a relationship without cheating ever coming into the equation.

“Huh?”

“Eddie, are we going or what?” Izzy asked, coming into the room and scoffing. “Are you kidding? I thought you were gonna ask him!” she complained.

There was a knock at the door and Rafael stood to grab his wallet, walking past his sister.

“He did. You can’t go, it’s too late to be out,” Rafael said, moving towards the door to pay for the pizza. When he opened the door, however, only a single sheet of paper with letters appeared to have been cut out of magazines. “Really?” he mumbled, arching a brow at the cliché of a threat. Bending to pick it up, he read it.

Be seeing you soon counselor.

How did they know where he lived?

[ronyxfic]

Educating the Victim - Act V, Chapter XX

Pairing: Blue Diamond/Blue Pearl, hinted Yellow Diamond/Yellow Pearl

Rating: Teens and up

Warnings/Tags: none for this chapter!

Read it on AO3!

Educating the Victim Masterpost

(Previous chapter) (Next chapter)

CHAPTER 20: Reunited

It was a new school day and the beginning of the annual careers fair. Blue had texted Aurora the night before to let her know she'd be at the school before seven, and Aurora had dragged Amy along - who was now napping in their new mini, coated by McDonalds breakfast wrappers - for an early start.

Azure had made herself scarce very soon after they'd arrived. She'd said something about catching up with an old friend.

Blue internally rolled her eyes, wondering how much longer Azure was going to try and pretend that Principal Diamond and her didn’t have history.

Probably about as long as Blue wasn't telling her that Principal Diamond had been seeing her sister.

Said sister arrived shortly after Azure left.

"Rori!" Blue waved at her from across the hall.

Aurora saw Blue and her nervous look melted into a smile. "Oh, Blue, you're already here. Alone?"

Blue could tell Aurora was relieved to see her. "Not really! Azure's just off to see an old..." She raised an eyebrow. "Friend of hers. You can help me set up!"

"Oh, it would be a pleasure!" Aurora chuckled. "Haven't had the time to catch up outside of calls recently, anyway. Everything okay? What's the plan today- if you even need one, geeze, your stall is always so popular."

"Well, you know, the usual," Blue said. "We've got the big screen here running playthroughs of various games, you know. The good stuff. Some of it is still in development. And then we have a bunch of flyers, info zines... most of these kids don't even know all of the work involved in making games. Azure has her computer as well, she'll be running a few workshops. You know. The usual stuff."

She took out a large box. "Here. Flyers, pamphlets, freebies. We got vegan sweets this year! Her idea, not mine."

"Oh! Are they gluten free, too?"

"Probably." Blue shrugged. She started taking out flyers from the boxes, setting up the stall. "So, what's the deal with you, then?" she asked. "How's life? Are you gonna up and run away the moment Principal Maricunt comes in here?"

"Don't be silly, she can't just hurt me in broad daylight. I have to deal with it. Pearl... spoke to me recently, though."

"Oh?" Blue raised her eyebrows. "So she can still talk, huh? What'd she say?"

"Worried about my flatmate. She is fucking around with Amy's feelings."

Blue snorted. "As usual then, only she's finally moved on from the boys she had before. Let me tell you, the monogamous lifestyle is far simpler."

"She's just a kid. She's being dumb and no one is there to look after her and she doesn't want me."

"She's like twenty now, right? Plenty grown up, if you ask me. You can't mum her forever, Rori."

"Nineteen, geeze. You were a mess mentally then. Just out of your last visit to the psych ward."

Blue frowned. "Hey, I've moved on from that. She will too. She's just gotta make her own mistakes. And you." She reached out and put a hand on Aurora's shoulder. "Have to let her."

"Not when I see her in so much pain that's... preventable." Aurora turned around, sighing. "I raised her. Not mom. I feel... responsible, still."

"Yeah, yeah. Have you actually talked to her about that? You know. Communication and all that." Blue turned away from Aurora and dug out the big screen, hooking it up to her work laptop.

"I would if she wanted to even communicate. She hates me, still."

Blue rolled her eyes. "You'd think she'd know better by now. Oh well. Not my circus, not my monkeys."

"It never is, is it?" Aurora sighed, envious of the detachment.

"Well, the company is. Azure. You." Blue shrugged. "Apart from that, no."

"It must be so wonderful to not care." Aurora sighed. "You've never missed all that much but the occasional heartbreak, trust me."

"I know. Hence why I'm okay with all of this." Blue smiled at Aurora. "So, are you just gonna stand there or are you actually gonna help?"

Aurora laughed. "Oh yeah. Tell me what to do."

"Just grab some flyers and pamphlets and sweets. Put them out on the table in a way that makes it look appealing. You can do that, right?"

"Right." She nodded, and got to work.

--

Marigold Diamond had been in very early - the only one in earlier than her was Rose Quartz. She'd actually found it in her to help Quartz with basic things, but not without making offhand comments.

She hadn't told Quartz that she'd be suspended by the end of the day. No, no, that pleasure was still to be experienced later.

Instead, she eventually went to her office and sorted out some paperwork.

Really, she was waiting for a special guest.

She knew she'd show up soon enough.

And Azure did. Dressed in a sleek navy blue number that covered her arms and to the top of her hips. Beneath, leggings in black that matched that of her lipstick. She pressed her way in as if she owned the place, much like a cat. "Well, well. Marigold Diamond in the flesh. Is it really that time of year?"

Marigold looked up. She was rather dressed up herself, perfect eyeliner, golden blazer.

Azure looked radiant.

"Good morning, Azure," Marigold said. "As punctual as ever, I see. Is everything ready?"

"My prodigee is taking care of it. I thought I'd visit you. Here, flowers." White lilies. "Thought they'd tone down whatever visual disaster you'd get up to."

Lilies, as usual. Marigold's heart ached.

The same flowers that grew on Claire's grave.

She took them. "Thank you," she said.

Azure was insistent on reminding her, in this way, every time they met. Another reason why Marigold kept their interactions to the minimum.

She took a single flower from the bunch and fastened it to her buttonhole. "How does this look?" she asked, ignoring the insult.

Azure looked almost surprised, if not amused. "You look like you're going to the world's gayest funeral. How have you been?"

"If I was going to a funeral, I'd be wearing black. You know that," Marigold shot back. "I've been well." A lie. Her days were only pain and bitterness these days. No Aurora. No alcohol. Nothing to keep her demons away. "How are you?"

"Looks like wedding bells around the corner. I'm planning to pop the question if she doesn't in a few months. You'll get to meet her."

Marigold's heart clenched. "Is she with you today? Your future CEO, right?"

"Yes. I'm trying to make the transition as smooth as possible."

Marigold fought down her jealousy. To see her friend from her youth so happy with another woman...

Part of her wanted to find Aurora. Pretend everything was okay. Play with her like she used to.

"Well, congratulations," she said, her mouth tight. "I assume I'll be invited."

Azure smiled. "As long as you're ready for absolutely nothing traditional, I'll put you on the Facebook event guest list. We're using it to be environmentally friendly."

"I didn't say I was going to come," Marigold said. "You know how I feel about... queer things. I just consider it common courtesy to invite your old friend."

Her heart beating loudly. She wanted to go to Azure's wedding, she really did. But she also knew she wasn't ready.

Not yet.

"Do you have a date yet?"

Azure looked forlorn. "Not yet. I must say I'm disappointed in you. You know I've got no one from bridge club left but you. But I suppose you must still be fragile. Though..." Her look darkened. "I would have expected you to catch up with the twenty first century first."

"You do go out of your way to remind me of that," Marigold said, her tone bitter. She glanced at the lilies. "I am living my life in my own way. As are you. You're my old friend from back then, so I won't say anything, but I expect you to mind your own business with regards to my life as well."

"You're my friend, Marigold."

Marigold looked up, her eyes meeting Azure's.

"Yes," she said, "so?"

"It doesn't matter. You wouldn't understand, anyway."

Marigold's eyes flickered to the clock.

"We have a little time," she said. "Enlighten me, please."

"There's no bothering with you. Mind your own business, if that's what I'm supposed to do."

"As you wish." Marigold didn't like Azure's tone. Didn't like that it seemed to be implying something.

Something Marigold was not ready to fully confront.

"So, did you just come here to drop vague statements and give me a painful reminder of our past?" she asked. "Or was there anything else?"

"When did you get so unfriendly?"

Marigold paused.

"I'm not unfriendly," she said. "I don't know why you think you're here, but as far as I'm concerned, this is strictly business. Do you disagree?"

"Oh, sure." A challenge, then. Azure could make Marigold crack. Express something. "I'll go and finish up. Enjoy yourself, alone as usual."

It stung. But Marigold should have expected it.

"I thought you were going to introduce me to your... partner," she said, her voice flat.

"You've made it clear you're not interested." Azure began to walk to the door.

"Not particularly, no. I merely thought you wanted me to be a part of your life. Either way, I'm not really bothered." She didn't make a move to follow Azure, although her heart was already aching for Azure to come back.

She simply raises a hand to say bye, her face determined. She walked out without another word.

It was time.

Time to make Marigold uncomfortable.

At the fair, Blue and Aurora were almost done setting up the stall. Blue saw Azure leave the Principal's office and waved her over.

"She's back! Rori, she's coming, I can finally introduce you!"

Rori looked up. Oh. "Is that her, then?" She nudged Blue as Azure came closer. "She's hot."

"Course she is. You keep your hands to yourself, yeah?" Blue grinned at Aurora and then went up to greet Azure with a sweet kiss.

"We're nearly done," she told her. "You'll get to meet my sister! I've wanted you to meet her for ages. Come on!"

"Oh, she looks just like you under that mop of yours." Azure gave a gentle smile. "So, I hear you're the one who hurt Mari."

Aurora shook at this. "Y-... I think? So?"

Blue rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Other way round, Azure. Or maybe it was mutual, I dunno. But anyway, that's not the point. You're gonna get along, right?"

Azure took Aurora's hand to kiss it. "We're going to get along swimmingly. I can teach you things about her - catch me after the fair."

"Oh! Sure! I think Pearl might come to this. Amethyst said she'd make it."

"As long as you don't get along too well," Blue chimed in. "Azure, which games do you want to have the playthrough for? And do you have all of your things for the workshop?"

"All of them. Check my hard drive, they should be copied onto a word doc. And yes, I'm all set."

"Alright," Blue said, getting busy with the computer.

Marigold Diamond walked in a moment later.

There was a brief silence before she came over to their stall.

"Ah, I see you're all set," she said. "Good."

Aurora went quiet. Azure took this to her advantage. "Is this one of yours, then? She's simply precious."

"Oh, you mean Aurora? She's my secretary." Marigold didn't look at Aurora. Instead, fixated Blue. "Who's this, then?"

Blue looked up. "Blue Morgan. I'm Azure's girlfriend." She stretched out her hand for Marigold, who pointedly ignored it.

Azure shot Blue a knowing look before waltzing up to her and pressing another kiss. "And future CEO. My only intellectual foil."

Marigold grimaced at the kiss, ignoring the sharp pang of jealousy. Instead, just watched as Blue laughed lightly and kissed Azure.

She remembered Blue from years ago, remembered her well. If she was anything like she'd been as a teenager, Azure had chosen a challenge for a girlfriend. But if Marigold knew anything, it was that Azure never backed down from a challenge.

"Good for you," she said, her teeth clenched. "Aurora, a word, please. In my office."

"I think I'll need her here for now, actually. She's done a good job with the set up." Azure looked her down.

"Well, it looks like you're almost done, and as we have plenty of time before the fair starts, I'll be needing her elsewhere," Marigold said coldly. "Also, I am her boss, not you. Aurora." She finally looked at her secretary. The sight of Aurora felt like a punch to the gut.

"Oh, alright. We'll have to arrange a date later, Aurora dear. Pleasure to see you!" Azure shot Blue a look she knew her girlfriend would recognise. She was playing.

"Oh, sure!"

Marigold turned and walked to her office, knowing that Aurora would follow her.

Blue caught Azure's look and grinned once Marigold was out of earshot. "What are you planning, hm? You're up to no good."

Azure stroked Blue's hair. "She decided to try and test my patience. She's being a cunt about our wedding plans so I'm rising to the occasion. Let's make her uncomfortable. I'm sure these students wouldn't mind catching her on the grill for once."

Blue leaned in. "That sounds fun," she said. "You told her about our plans? Are you actually going to invite her?"

"She said she's not coming because you own a pussy."

Blue snorted. "Well, each to their own. Though I have it on very good authority that she's pretty gay herself."

"Oh, I'm sure most of the school knows. I wonder what she's getting up to."

> Act V, Chapter XXI

[soraryuuzaki]

Wings @ Anaheim Day 1

ya girl hit the fangirl jackpot and got to perform with BTS. keep reading to find out how it went down

okay but like actually today was fucking amazing and i didn’t really expect it to be?????

like fuck dude i woke up this morning wishing i were with my girlfriend but settling instead for some dank league of legends while i ate breakfast and watched boku no hero academia with my sister as she procrastinated getting ready for the BTS concert she was going to tonight (4/1)

and so as i was laying on her bed with her she got a phone call from her musician friend Albert (sleightlymusical on youtube, shameless plug). he was calling cause he was playing violin for the BTS concert as part of a string quartet but one of their musicians-- a violist-- had to drop out last minute ‘cause he had some personal problems so they needed a string player asap and Albert called Arlene ‘cause she was the only violinist he knew well who lived in the area

so Arlene was fucking torn because she wanted to watch the concert with her friends but she also wanted to play and she realized i was right next to her and she was like ... do YOU want to play for the BTS concert?

and i was like uh sure

and she said okay well we gotta be there at 1 so go get ready

and i was like wtf dude it’s 12:30 what am i supposed to wear i haven’t showERED OR ANYTHING FUCK MY LIFE

so we hauled ass to the venue where Albert met up with us and gave me a staff pass and we went down to the room where the other two string players were waiting and they were like DUDE YOU JUST SAVED OUR ASSES okay here’s the deal we aren’t actually playing we’re basically stage props but here’s the music and yeah

so we spent about an hour trying to figure out what the fuck we were doing and then we got called onstage for rehearsal and i was like fuCK I’M NOT READY FOR THIS

when we got out there they were rehearsing Begin and holy shit jungkook was sO FUCKING CLOSE and all the other members were just sitting onstage and scrolling through their phones but holy shit they were so close to me and i was lowkey fangirling on stage

and then jimin went on with Lie and he was rehearsing and he botched the high note and just laughed it off and i laughed with him becuase fuCK ME he’s so cute and if a cute boy laughs you know i’m fucking going to laugh too okay

then it was our turn and we got to “accompany” suga when he sang / rapped First Love which fuck my LIFE it’s my favorite song on the album and i was just like starstruck when i was playing because he’s so beautiful and the song is so beautiful and i was just having an out of body experience like holy shit this was so surreal like aM I REALLY FUCKING HERE JUST WTF IS GOING ON like when the music started i was like huh where is he ‘cause he wasn’t onstage and then i turned around and realized that he was being ELEVATED ONSTAGE WITH A FUCKING PIANO RIGHT BEHIND ME AND I WAS FREAKING OUT like the entire itme i was playing i was just trying not to obviously stare at him but he’s just fucking gorgeous and i love the song and holy shit dude i was just having the time of my life and like some of the members were sitting literally RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME on the stage as we were playing and i was like internally hyperventilating

and when we played for Jin’s Awake we had no idea what we were doing either but i was also just staring at him like a shameless fangirl but i had to tone it down ‘cause i’m a fucking professional yanno but when he leaves the stage he crosses literally RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME so i was just staring at him wide-eyed as he walked right past me and i just died inside

but yeah we had no idea what we wer edoing during the rehearsal so afterwards we went back to our room and figured out some shit and then got lunch (they had catering backstage for the staff) and then took a nap and i realized i was still sweaty and greasy ‘cause i hadn’t showered that morning so i went home and showered and came back within an hour and a half ‘cause that’s how close i live to the venue and honestly the only reason why it took more than an hour was ‘cause i was checking with people constantly to make sure i could get back in after i left and i kept getting lost and shit but anyway i came back in time for dinner and guess who was in the fucking dining room with us

B T S

i’m a terrible fangirl so i couldn’t tell who exactly was sitting with us but i think it was J-Hope, Jimin, and V????? i think??????? but they were eating in the same room as me so i was honestly hella fucking starstruck

like legit i walked in and while i was getting food i think i was next to Jimin as he was getting tteokbokgi and i looked at him and was like huh he looks familiar and it wasn’t until i sat down with the other string players and they were like omg i can’t believe they’re actually eating with the crew like how down to earth and i was like huh and then i looked over and i was like FUCK I WAS RIGHT NEXT TO JIMIN and i had literally walked right past them all to get some water and i was so close and i was just like H O L Y S H I T i’m fucking dead goodbye someone kill me now i’m dead i can die happy right now

we weren’t allowed to take pictures backstage, and especially of the BTS members, for safety reasons ‘cause BTS had received death threats so it was important that their locations aren’t compromised (which is also why i have to wait until after the second concert is over to post this) but i was honestly so fucking starstruck i just went back to the room and sat there in awe

one of the other string players (not Albert) was sort of mocking the fans he saw outside? like he was like “lmao they’re like taking pictures of posters and shit” and i was hella judging him like why u gotta be like that let them enjoy themselves you arrogant piece of shit and also he was like “i’m gonna be so sick of this song” when we were trying to figure out what to do for First Love and i’m just like listen here you little shit this is a fine ass piece of music and so help me god you are going to stop being an arrogant piece of shit and he was just so condescending???? like ????? i don’t want to play into stereotypes but he goes to USC for a master’s in violin and like ???????????? i get that you’re good but do you need to be such an ass???

anyway we sort of chilled as the concert started and i decided i wanted to listen to them so i hung out backstage and listened to the opening number (Not Today) and i was jamming backstage and since no one was talking to me i decided to push my luck and ultimately ended up in the wing as i waited for my cue but i got to see them perform up close and it was so surreal hearing all the screams

and after they finished Dope they all ran riGHT FUCKING PAST ME as they headed to the changing tent and i was fucking starstruck and then i fucking went on and

H

O

L

Y

S

H

I

T

it was fucking CROWDED like i knew it was going to be a full house but it didn’t really register to me that it was going to be a crowd of 18,000 people???? like holy shit???? it was just a sea of dark faces and lightsticks and i was like holy crap this is amazing because it just looks like a starry sky and my sister was in the crowd really close to the front and i saw her and she waved at me and i waved back and i was like O H M Y G O D I’M ACTUALLY DOING THIS and then the music started and i was just amazed as i played and watched the crowd and i was like wow this is so nice like this is such an amazing feeling and Suga was so cute and holy crap i was so close to him and i was just staring at him the entire time like I AM CLOSER THAN THE AVERAGE FAN WILL EVER BE IN THEIR LIFETIME HOLY FUCK

and then as soon as it started it was over and we were being rushed offstage and i wanted to stick around and watch but i got kicked off the wings and then out of the backstage area but i came back around Stigma and i was just U G H and i got to play for Awake, Jin’s solo, and that one is cool because the platforms move up and down so it was pretty fun on that one but it was funny because i was sitting next to the cellist and instead of going around the cellist’s endpin Jin just took this giant ass step over it and he walked literally RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME like he was trying to fucking walk past me to get to a seat in a lecture hall and i was just melting inside but i had to keep my cool because i’m a professional yanno

but yeah after that we got kicked out of the backstage area again but as we were leaving the stage i looked to my left and saw Jungkook practicing some choreography and he made eye contact with me and fUCKING BOWED TO ME AND I BOWED BACK AND I WAS JUST LIKE ?????? HOLY FUCK?????? DID I ACTUALLY??? JUST???? BOW?????? TO JUNGKOOK????????????????

i’m literally dead

but anyway after that we split up and albert and i went to try to figure out if we could watch the rest of the concert and we ran into two girls (Hannah and Loomy) and they showed us a good view but then we ended up leaving early ‘cause we didn’t want to get stuck in all the car traffic in the parking lot so we left

and honestly i’m home right now and typing this and i feel so fucking starstruck like h o l y s h i t that was amazing

and i get to do it again tomorrow

and i’m getting PAID

i’m fucking getting PAID to have the experience of a LIFETIME

i got to perform for 18,000 people

i got to share a stage with BTS

and i’m fucking getting PAID TO DO THIS

F U C K M E U P

[eigwayne]

Happy Birthday Choriisu Setsuna!

Gundam 00 Week, Day 6 - April 7th Can also be interpreted as: Setsuna’s birthday, UC Gundam crossover/AU, Gunpla, Mobile Suits

Saji and Louise discover it’s Setsuna’s birthday. The world’s tamest birthday party ensues, but ‘tame’ doesn’t mean Setsuna knows what to do. Birthday fluff, chorii~su!

———–

It’s set toward the end of the first season and there are some references to events in Season One, so mild spoilers. There’s also a reference so a drama track but you should be able to get the joke without it? I hope?

Or you can watch/read these:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXKA_9RoRY8

http://dramacdtranslations.tumblr.com/post/55193324939/cd-drama-special-mobile-suit-gundam-00-another

Oh, and the AO3 mirror for the story is here.

———–

“Sa~ji~” Louise whined. “But I don’t like him!”

“Louise,” Saji said, who resisted the urge to whine himself and instead tried to placate her, somehow. “You do not not like him. Plus, it’s his birthday, and Sis said he was all alone over there.” He didn’t know how or when Kinue had gotten their taciturn neighbor’s birthday out of him, or even when they had talked at all, but she had.

“Oh. That’s sad.” Louise’s expression fell and she stopped kicking her feet against the couch. “No one should be alone on their birthday.”

She said it with such a melancholy tone that Saji suspected she had been alone for one of hers. It wasn’t the last one; she’d been with him for that and the date they’d gone on had cost him an arm and a leg. But she’d smiled the whole time so it had totally been worth it. Louise’s smile was like sunshine.

“So does that mean you’ll go next door and get him so I can finish decorating the cake?” Saji asked gently.

“I’ll do it,” she said. There was a pout in her voice and she bounced off the couch with more force than was strictly necessary, but she headed to the door, her hair swishing against her back.

Saji sighed heavily, wishing she wouldn’t put on such a show all the time, and turned back to the cake.

*~*~*~*~*

Louise knocked loudly on the neighbor boy’s door. “Setsuna?” she called. She waited, not exactly patiently, for him to get to the door. She could hear him moving inside so she wasn’t leaving. She told Saji she would get him, so she was going to get him.

Finally the door opened a crack and Setsuna’s gold-brown eyes peeked out. “Louise Halevy,” he said by way of greeting.

“Good afternoon, Setsuna,” she said, putting on her brightest smile. “I’ve come to invite you over to Saji’s.”

“Thank you. No,” he said, and started to close the door.

Louise was a smart girl. She’d already tucked her toe in the crack, expecting him to shut the door at least once. Instead of closing shut, the door was stopped by her shoe.

“Saji has been working really hard on this meal,” she scolded. “And I know you’re not doing anything for your birthday, you’re too quiet to be doing something. So you are going to come to Saji’s and have some food and cake and I bought you a present so you’re coming over.”

Setsuna was a smart boy. He’d already picked up that he shouldn’t refuse Louise, especially when she got that tone. “All right. Let me put on a shirt.”

Louise’s eyes widened at the thought that he might not be dressed. Her gaze fell and she caught a glimpse of a bare arm (what on earth did he do to get such muscle definition as a just-turned-seventeen-year-old!?), and she quickly looked away from the crack in the door, her cheeks getting hot. But she didn’t move her foot in case he tried to close the door and escape. There was a soft rustling and he came back to the door with a plain, high-colored button down shirt that he was swiftly doing the buttons on.

“Are we going?” he said in the same flat tone as always. Louise let out a small, annoyed huff, and whirled on her heel. She had half a mind to close Saji’s door in Setsuna’s face.

*~*~*~*~*

Setsuna hadn’t had a real birthday party since he was eight or so. There was a few attempts to exchange gifts in the interim years, but they were mostly hushed, hurried affairs, the other boys in the KGB giving him tokens, and him returning the favor when he could. Those gifts were useful and therefore used, or destroyed in the fighting. Gone.

So he was completely out of his element even though his ‘party’ consisted of himself, Saji Crossroad, and Louise Halevy. Louise chattered to fill up the quiet, and Saji played host, and Setsuna sat like a lump.

The food was great, though, and he happily cleaned his plate and nodded when Saji asked if he wanted another helping. Saji beamed at him and went to get him seconds. Louise leaned over and whispered, “See, I told you. Saji’s the best cook.” Setsuna nodded again, although he was fairly certain Kinue was the better cook. Still, the Crossroad siblings had made him the tastiest meals he’d had in a long, long time.

(In the years that followed, he would think back on those meals as he ate MREs and energy bars to survive. They were a precious, painful memory of the world he was trying to protect.)

“Open the presents!” Louise said after Saji cleared their plates from lunch. “And then we can have cake!” She seemed far more cheerful than when she had pried him away from his nap. Even though it wasn’t her birthday, she was enjoying the festivities. Good food, some TV show they were all ignoring in the background, Saji waiting on her… It must be everything she wanted, Setsuna thought.

(Setsuna didn’t know, but in the years that followed, she would look back on this as the day Saji’s weird neighbor was almost human, and Saji was an angel. It was a precious, painful memory of the world she could never have back.)

Saji deposited a box on Setsuna’s lap. “Here. It’s from my sister. She had to work today so she couldn’t be here, but she left this for you. I guess Celestial Being is keeping her busy again.”

“Celestial Being is keeping a lot of people busy,” Setsuna muttered. He tore the tape on the box. Inside was a photo of Exia in exceptional quality, a print from a newsreel about Azadistan. The Gundam stood in the palace courtyard, hand extended. The shadows were long, showing it was late in the day, but the whole thing had a serenity to it, the calm of a clear sunset.

He’d slipped when Kinue was talking to him once, probably the same day he’d let his birthday out, and Kinue had found out that he didn’t entirely hate the Gundams and liked ‘the blue one, that rescued a religious leader in the Middle East.’ Her description, not his, but at least he hadn’t given away anything else.

“Oooh, that’s a cool shot,” Louise said. She sighed. “Remember when they did their first thing, and it didn’t seem so bad? I mean, they did stuff like this back then.”

“Louise, that was only six months ago,” Saji pointed out.

“Yeah, but it’s like they’re two completely different people now! Ever since the red ones-”

Setsuna stiffened and wished he’d grabbed his gun. Did she know? He could probably take one of them bare-handed if there was trouble, but that would give the other time to call for help or escape. He’d have to take Louise out first- she looked like she could scream louder and run faster than Saji.

“Let’s not ruin the party with politics,” Saji said, waving his hands. Setsuna relaxed, just a little. Saji’s eyes were guileless as always. The only thing Saji could threaten was a sink full of dishes.

“Oh my god, she gave you that, too?” Saji’s face fell and he pointed at a video in the box.

It had been underneath the photo frame. A video of classic Japanese comedy, a compilation of the best stand-up and variety acts from 300-200 years ago.

Setsuna groaned inwardly. Damn Personality Type R35 and it’s idiotic verbal tick! At least he had talked Sumeragi out of making him use it more than once (he vaguely remembered saying ‘This is supposed to be a safehouse, not a madhouse!’ in a rare act of rebellion), but he’d had to explain his personality shift to Kinue and now she thought they shared an interest in this… drivel.

“I’m sorry, choriisu,” Saji said, patting his shoulder. Setsuna didn’t like the laughter in his tone and scowled. If he never heard that sorry excuse for a catchphrase, it would be too soon.

“We’re not watching it,” Louise said with authority. Setsuna silently thanked her imperial attitude for the first and only time. “Do Saji’s next! We’ll save the best for last.” She grinned and winked, and Saji flushed.

“Sorry it’s not very flashy,” he said as he gave a slim wrapped package to Setsuna. When the paper was off, Setsuna held a book of recipes for college students.

Saji awkwardly had a hand behind his neck, a pose that Setsuna had come to equate with Japan in general and Saji Crossroad in particular. “Sorry,” he said again.

“It’s fine,” Setsuna said, thumbing through it quickly. “It will be useful.” It would, with all the tips on cooking fast and buying cheap and adding nutrition to near-garbage.

“And now mine!” Louise plunked a box in his lap. It was a clothing box and very lightweight. Saji let out a low whistle when he saw the emblem on it, some expensive brand name Setsuna wouldn’t recognize until he looked it up later.

It was a scarf in a creamy beige color. Setsuna gingerly stroked the fabric. “Soft.”

“Mm-hm!” Louise said, still as excited as if the present was for herself. Setsuna would learn later that she loved gifts. Giving was as good as receiving (unless it was Saji and then she expected to receive). “It’s nice and light for summer! So you can keep your look even when it’s hot out. Don’t think I didn’t notice you’re always in one!”

“Thank you,” Setsuna murmured, unsure of how else to respond. “And thank your sister for me.”

“Sure!” Saji said, beaming.

“Saji, Saji! Take a picture!” Louise held out one of their phones- Saji’s probably, from the lack of cutesy straps dangling off it- and once Saji took it, she picked up the scarf and wrapped it around Setsuna.

Saji squeezed closer to Setsuna and held out the phone. Louise grinned and flashed a peace sign.

“Happy Birthday, Setsuna!” they both said as he took the picture.

Setsuna’s cheeks felt warm and he wondered if he was over-exhausted or if the pair were just too close, snugged up against his sides. He found that he was okay if it was the latter, and hid his smile against the silk of his new scarf.