#but in the end i dont think i really went in having faith that marvel wouldnt fuck it up

[arsenicflame]

ive had to step away from all the analysis of the finale because thinking about it for too long it fills me with such a [rage? bitterness? frustration? all of the above?] the likes of which ive genuinely never felt for a show before

ive cared about media before. ive been disappointed by media before, but i think the difference is i haven't put my faith in media like i did ofmd- and the more time passes the more i feel fucking stupid for putting that faith in the show in the first place, when so many of the things coming to light now were already there

i cant think about it too long else it makes me so fucking sad, and im tired of analysing it to bits because its not going to change anything, theres no way to fix any of this, no way to find a spark of light in it, no way to come back, to resurrect the show i fucking loved.

im sure everything everyone is saying is well thought out and nuanced things but for the sake of my own enjoyment of this fucking show i have to just not engage with it anymore.

[made-nondescript]

also just read through your whole au and like i have to ask (assuming its not been said before) how does tubbo take the 'moons big' and 'their name is' with the alter of heads cause 1 hed notice the moon thing before anyone else and the hermits would shrug it off as war child paranoia but then it gets worse 2 idc if he gets that hermits dont die die whatever, ren and doc made a ALTER to the MOON with their friends dead appendages.

(Minor CW for DSMP-typical mentions of violence.)

It's not that they don't believe him, it's just that there's a misplaced faith in their own ability to notice the gradual growth of their moon. Surely, living on Hermitcraft, they'd know a bit more about the appropriate size of celestial bodies above it. So when Tubbo visits again and points at the sky, marveling at the moon's size, it's brushed off.

Tubbo understands. It's not like he's ever paid particularly close attention to Hermitcraft's moon before -- as far as he can tell there's nothing different about it from the Dream SMP's, so why would he? But that's just the thing: he knows that the Dream SMP's moon has never been so large. He'd seen it just before he left for his visit. He knows something has changed.

Then again it doesn't really matter either. So what if the moon's a bit bigger, right? Who cares. He knows Doc well enough, he wouldn't be surprised if he was behind it. Or, thinking about it, it could really be any number of Hermits.

He doesn't press. There's no reason to, he decides.

But then the moon is even bigger next time, and bigger still the following visit. He mentions it both times with increasing worry. The thought occurs to him that it's like the moon is on a collision course for the server and he even voices as much, but Iskall assures him that it's probably fine, if anything's going on at all.

He doesn't have as much time as he'd like to visit, so Tubbo tries to ignore it. He's stressed enough at home; he doesn't need to spend what is essentially his vacation hours imagining the improbable end of the world.

So he doesn't. He pointedly ignores as much of the moon weirdness as he can. Even when Boatem turns into a moon cult. Even when Tango starts building a rocket. There is comfort in knowing that the Hermits are just like this, that this is almost certainly more of a LARP than any serious concern. (Right?) Even still, he uh, he keeps closer to the Hermits not engaged in a pre-apocolypse roleplay.

When Tubbo goes to meet Doc it's for advice on tuning up his nukes. (Dream has just escaped, he's free, he could be anywhere, right now and he needs help, he needs to be in control right now). What he gets is an introduction to Doc and Ren's own apparent moon cult and its rituals.

Tubbo didn't really like Boatem's whole….thing and he doesn't feel any more positively about Doc and Ren's either. It's almost more unsettling with the elaborate robes and ominous chanting. But what really sends it across the line between weird and entirely uncomfortable is the alter.

Tubbo has seen violence, obviously. He's bloodied his hands stitching up his comrades on the battlefield and he's seen people die. More than that: he attended Schlatt's funeral, he watched Quackity eat Schlatt's heart on stage, he personally handled the man's bones and treated them with no more dignity than driftwood.

So the heads on the alter don't send him puking the way they probably should have. It's a gruesome scene to be sure but the room is clean and orderly and he can hardly even smell the iron.

What fucks him up is how unlike the Hermits this is.

Tubbo knows how weird and sometimes dark they can get - he's been briefed on past seasons enough to know that. But he can't help but notice the precision with which the head are cut, the clear premeditation that went into collecting them. And the chanting - it's clear to him now what the chanting is about now. The priority here is not on their fellow Hermits but getting the moon what they think it wants and Tubbo can't think of anything that feels more wrong to be happening on this server.

It's too much at the wrong time for him. He goes home and crumbles.

[sobsicles]

Opening Line Tag Game

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

I was tagged by @dont-offend-the-bees - thanks! ill just do my spn fics and not any ive co-written because i didn't start the first chapters for those, though they're very good (Season Z and The Bad Santa Clause, respectively, that are fics written by a group of many amazing authors!)

Dean starts falling in love with him on a slow Sunday morning under slanted sunlight that slips through the gaps in the trees. — six hundred sundays (and many more)

Why did the curtains have to be yellow? — i want to do with you (what spring does to cherry trees)

In a bar on a Tuesday morning, it's a few months out from the final shot at the world ending. But hey, Chuck's long gone, and everything has worked out for the best, and the world keeps right on turning. Funny how that goes, huh? — dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)

There are certain moments in one's life when things go exactly as planned. It's like the stars align and the skies open up to reveal rays of sunlight and, against all odds, everything seems to be in perfect harmony. This is a phenomenon that Dean is genuinely not accustomed to, as it doesn't really happen for him. — finding hope (and finding him)

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment. — break the skin (to break the barriers)

The first time Dean and Cas kiss, it's not even really a kiss at all. It is, in fact, mouth-to-mouth. — a kiss for every season (literally)

The brass chip slides back and forth in a small path across the leaning desk Bobby has had for years and still hasn't gotten around to fixing. The chip reads: To thine own self be true. Unity. Service. Recovery. — separate ways and sleeping dogs

Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't. There's just enough human-esque nuances to it that keep it feeling like life rather than death, and he's thankful for that because he's got the smallest inkling that he should have gotten to live a little longer than he did. — oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith

So, the first thing that happens is Castiel comes back. It's at a pretty inconvenient time, considering the amount of pain Dean is in and how close he is to being dead. — things happen (they do, and they do, and they do)

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. — what's missing is found (our souls can exhale now)

It's different now, no matter how much they're pretending it's not. Mostly out of self-preservation, because sometimes their sanity is hanging by a mere thread and it's so obvious that they simply have no choice but to fake it 'til they make it. They've done a lot of that through the years, practically crafted it into a fine art, but this is the best performance yet. — according to all known laws of life

Time is different here. — what they deserve (it's better this way)

The first realization he remembers having is that the stars are oddly bright from where he lies sprawled on his back. The second, of course, is that there are troubling sounds coming from some vague point to his left. He supposes that's fair—vision and auditory processes are usually the first thing people make sense of when they wake. He knows that much, at least. Not much else, though. — Memories Bring Back Memories (Bring Back You)

Dean would think that a failsafe like this wouldn't exist. It doesn't quite add up in his head when he sits down and thinks about it, but Sam assures him over and over that it's well within the realm of possibility for the Men of Letters--supposed smart people--to come up with something as stupid as this. — home is where the heart is (and you have mine)

The blackbirds start singing a dawn. — profoundly bonded (by law)

So. So, the thing about desperation, and want, and desire, and how it controls, is that it's all bullshit, and Dean wants absolutely no part in it. — staring at ceiling in the dark, same empty feeling in your heart (love comes slow and it goes so fast)

Cas wasn't a music fanatic of any kind, Dean knew this firsthand. Sure, he listened to whatever Dean was listening to, or whatever was playing in the car on long trips. But he never went out of his way to listen to music in his spare time. — listen to the song in my soul (only you can hear)

All things considered, Castiel found solace in the fact that his life couldn't get any worse than this. — Just A Touch

There were a few things that were known about Dean Winchester, undeniable things that hadn't wavered once in his entire life. — a helping hand (let's not be friends)

Dean was merely ten years old when he discovered that bridges didn't close the gap between two worlds. — The Bridges We Built

insane to me that none of these opened up on dialogue. i don't open up with dialogue that often, as it turns out. also, most of these fics are dean pov. only three of these out of twenty are cas pov (1, 12, 18). my personal five favorites out of these: 3, 5, 10, 14, 15.

im supposed to tag people, but like, i want anyone who wants to do it to do it! if you see this and want to do it, definitely do so! tag me if you do; i'd love to see your answers!

[uvena]

thoughts on eternals

this is hot off the press i need more time to process and collect my critical thinking skills BUT

no thoughts head empty just drukkari

literally who asked for h*rry st*les to be in a marvel movie WHO ASKED literally no one like nobody asked i dont want this i dont wanna have to look at his stupid face any longer than i have to which ideally is never like is he the only go who could do it? really? are they that desperate for clicks? is disney+ doing that badly? bec like he brings absolutely NOTHING he has no presence and i hope it’s just for the 1 movie

personally im disappointed thena didnt slingshot ikaris into the sun like i think that would have been an excellent way for him to go, like i understand why he went out the way he did, it was about atonement, it was about trying to “make amends” after everything he did and the only way he could do that, after trying to annihilate humankind, killing ajak, and being willing to kill his family it was the only way but like... he deserved SO much worse than makkari pressing his face into the rock and phastos trapping him in place like he’s the reason gilgamesh died i think he really deserved worse! and like i know it’s the point but like he was so fucking vain like oh boo hoo you’re not the favorite plus ratio plus you’re annoying as fuck and vain and you broke sersi’s heart and for WHAT

im sorry but i didnt care much about sprite... like i get it but 1) her having feelings for ikaris was stupid and 2) i did not have a lot of sympathy for her even at the end like... like euie said it’s a testament to sersi’s character that she forgave sprite so easily and it IS but guess what bitch i do not have to do that

still sore over losing gilgamesh like it’s always a joy to see his actor in anything but gilgamesh... i know ~why~ he died but it’s such a shame because i loved him so much. i wish we got to see more of him & see him interact with the others more before his death. also “it’s rotten work” @ thena 100% huh... god god god god god that was CRAZEE

this movie needed more makkari i LOVED her i wanted to get to know her better i think she’s my favorite out of all the eternals like we got to see glimpses of her but i hope the next movie gives her more screentime

the thing about druig’s actor is that i saw him in the killing of a sacred deer which still unsettles me to this day and i didnt know if i was gonna love him in this but guess what i DID and i DO

PHASTOS AND HIS HUSBAND AND HIS KID... HE LOST FAITH IN HUMANITY BUT FOUND IT IN THE PEOPLE HE LOVED! HE DID THAT! AND HE DID WHAT WAS RIGHT AND IT WAS FOR LOVE AND IM GONNA CRY

sersi... sersi who had doubts sersi who didnt know why she was chosen sersi who ajak trusted to lead sersi who overcame her doubt and fear and saved the world sersi who forgave the people who hurt her and those she loved she who was willing to risk it all to risk the natural order of the universe to stop the annihilation of humankind she did that she really did

kingo was funny and i wish we could have seen why he was so willing to follow ikaris more like just you know a snapshot into it like we Met him but mostly we got to see sersi and ikaris in flashbacks which is fine but like...

wish we could have seen all the eternals and gotten to know them better but it was a large cast blah blah blah

overall i enjoyed it much more than i expected and it certainly wasn’t perfect but it was fun. still wanna punch ikaris tho

also jon snow... who are youuuuuuuuuuu

AND BLADE? BLADE? BLADE!

sad they splintered in the end :( but i get it :( i want a reunion tho

there’s more but i’ll have to rewatch before i can make like... a dissection post

[littlefoxwithbighat]

Hi! This is talking about the plot of the dream smp in a meta sense and its a bit negative. The person behind this blog wants to remind you that you can skip if it's not for you and they still love the SMP. :)

ALL DISCUSSION IS ABOUT CHARACTERS. DON'T ATTACK CCS OR I WILL STEAL YOUR KNEECAPS.

I can't lie; I'm really annoyed and worried at the way the writers are handling Tommys character at the moment, and am increasingly concerned about it messing up the plot.

I wasn't very happy with the finale. I don't think that means all is lost, I think they can pull it back but it's going to take some work. I was worried about the way that things were handled before but the green festival was actually very well handled, so my worries were mostly assuaged. But yesterday? I don't know.

The fact nobody lost a cannon death is kind of disappointing. The weight of blowing up an entire city/ (country?) brutally is somewhat lost if there is no human loss. Nobody was hurt physically and the only people this had a big mental impact on was Tommy and Tubbo, everyone else wasn't very attached to L'manburg or had gone rogue, or were detatched from the while situation. And maybe it's the fact it's happened to them before or that they still have each other or that it seems odd/ frustrating that they still care so much about this place or that it was always a losing battle and they knew it, but I dont find myself really pitying them like I probably should. And I think that comes down to character growth or lack thereof, which I'll discuss later.

Niki and Fundy have started a villain arc, or at least a violent nihilism arc, and I actually don't mind it, in fact I'm a fan but it wasnt really foreshadowed, or really just showing them cracking as much as it should have been. I would guess this has mostly been started for both of them to tie Niki into the plot and I can't blame her for wanting that. Fundys acting is very good, and I REALLY hope the writers handle this well. For Fundy, regarding the fact that his father is going to be resurrected and that Fundy is following in his footsteps... If the writers don't realise that connection and make this a big step in Fundys narrative I will scream. Also Funboo bros are very interesting character foils and I hope their relationship is maintained so that they can play of off each other and also man I just really want them to keep being friends, it's a generally positive healthy relationship that makes both characters sympathetic and we need that right now. As for Niki, her character motivations seem to be mostly centered around Tommy and on the one hand I'm like ehhhh, because Tommy's character already gets a disproportionate amount of attention in terms of narrative, and I get it, but recently he's been a bit TOO much of the protagonist for a multi-person POV improve server... and I'm apprehensive. However on the other hand this has potential for a nice confrontation between Tommy and Niki. If that happens I want Tommy to be aware that this is going to happen and not talk over Niki, and I don't want it to be brushed over. I think it would be best if it was just the two of them. This also gives a nice chance for Tommy to examine his trauma with Dream and explain his motivations and Niki to get her anger out. I also want it to end positively, because it absolutely can and lack of communication when the viewer knows how to fix it is OK as a plot device sometimes but incredibly frustrating if it keeps happening (cough, Tommy and Techno).

Ranboo is reacting to the plot amazingly and I have as usual only praise for him, go, you funky enderman boy, go.

Wilbur is getting resurrected which is a thousand percent because Will wants the plot back and honestly I don't really mind, I think he'll do a good job. However I really hope he speaks to everybody about their characters, particularly Fundy, Ranboo and Niki because I don't want their characterisation and arcs to be thrown away.

Tubbo is doing very well, and I don't have many complaints to be honest. I hope he continues to get in with the acting with no shame, because he's an amazing VA when he wants to be, but sometimes he undercuts serious moments a little too much by laughing. Same criticism for Phil actually. But both are doing good.

On the theme of that, while I don't mind tension relievers or humour in serious moments there are sometimes too many. It was a lot worse about a month back and it was improving, but it seems to be creeping back in and ehhh. It's kind of Marvel-esque and not in a good way? I think it has a lot to do with bloopers and for some reason there are loads at the moment? Like Wilburs arc had almost none and this arc there's at least 2 every moment. Which isn't always their fault but maybe they need to take more steps to prevent them.

Techno is doing OK, he's quite a meta character so I'm not too mad about him undercutting serious moments but sometimes he does do it too much or in the wrong place. Like making jokes about Connor completely over the top of Tommy and Tubbos reunion, you know an event which has been foreshadowed for yoinks, prevented them from getting a proper flow going and kind of ruined it. And that made the reunion really dissapointing, which is a shame because it could have been so cool. However his characterisation is consistent and dedicated, his goals and relationships are clear and he's getting humanised more which is nice, and his monologues are great. I'm curious to see what he does now NL'M is gone but I have total faith in him.

Now Tommy. Oh Tommy. His character is such a mess at the moment, which is a shame because there were moments I saw people doubting his character choices and I was behind him.

Firstly the relationship with Techno fell apart. That was inevitable. Tommy didn't care about anarchy and Techno didn't care about the discs and both of their goals would impede the others. But the way Tommy talks about Techno is so... No? And now I understand that Tommy is going to have a biased perspective on the whole situation, and that's fine and good, but his character is so wrong about Techno it feels weird and painful? Like even from his perspective it went down differently to how he talks about it. They don't listen to each other and it's like watching two people scream at a wall.

The issue is the relationship was fairly well developed. I struggle to see Tommy saying he saw Techno as a friend but Techno never saw him as a friend because hold on, what? Techno, here's a respiration helmet because of that one of thing you told me about your trauma, a disc because those make you happy, plus top tier armour and weaponry, plus I'm going to spend time with you, calm you down from panic attacks, hide you and protect you from Dream, let you wander around L'manburg and achieve your own goals and help you plan things out Techno and Tommy didn't get ANYTHING from that? Plus after Techno opens up about his goals and his trauma, do the one thing that would hurt him the most, (use and then betray him) and then directly oppose his goals after he helped me? Ugh. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I know he would never let Tubbo get hurt and thats fine, but there were ways around that. If you're framing this character as the protagonist, then he needs to be sympathetic or at least grow and Tommy using Techno again without remorse and then refusing to listen to his perspective or show any gratitude for anything makes it difficult for viewers to empathise with him in my opinion. Have him betray Techno and then listen to Techno when he explains why Tommys betrayal hurt him and apologise, fine. Have him listen to Techno and try and find a way to keep Tubbo safe regardless, fine. Have him betray Techno but apologetically and still trying to avoid Techo getting crushed or killed, fine. But THIS? Im sympathetic towards Tommys character but this throws away so much potential character development for Tommy, where at least he saw Techno as a person, and not only that but a nice person who despite everything has set aside everything to help him? And then for him to be exactly where he was at the end of season 1, both literally, and emotionally ? I understand this is a child soldier with trauma but this is supposed to be our protagonist and if he doesn't grow, and isn't sympathetic and destroys someone we care about, how can we root for him?

Now all of this could be forgivable, not great, but forgivable, if Tommy had moved on from the discs. The Goddamn Discs™. And the worse part is all the dominoes were lined up to suggest he had! We had his moment of "he watched me" where he realised Dream was the villain and controlling him, "I've become worse than everyone I hated" good, amazing, I see where this is going, "The discs were worth more than you ever were!" and then he retracts and apologises and you think horray! Tommy has realised the discs were being used to control him and if he doesn't care about them, they hold no value! Now he's going to realise that his friends are more important and he's going to stop going after the discs. His new character motivation can be killing Dream and protecting his friends, especially Tubbo. It's clearly angled this way, and this way the plot progresses and Tommy with it. What marvellous character development. Look at him go.

And THEN, after everything that's happened he says the most important thing is the disc and I want them back!?!? EH !!? Why... Who... Who gave the OK on that writing decision? That's so static and boring and unsympathetic! And then he's back to asking people do fight for L'manburg? What?

I'll be honest I was kind go hoping either Tommy or Tubbo would die with L'manburg. I didn't mind it they didn't, there are a thousand ways to make the plot work without them dying, but this was not a great one.

PLEASE let Tommy have some growth. Yes he's had some from not caring about L'manburg to fighting for it in season one, but that was ages ago and he doesnt seem to have changed since then in any way that really counts. And I know this is harsh and he's traumatised but you have to understand I am talking about this in a sense of characters and narrative and NOT in terms of real life. Tommy needs to be better and dynamic because he is a charcacter and I want him to be a good one.

Having said all that, here are my thoughts on the future of the SMP.

Firstly, I am worried that becuse it is such a good source of content, especially for Tommy that they will never ever kill his character and leave him fighting with Dream for eternity. And I love the Dream SMP but I've seen stories that get dragged out for plot or content, and however much you think you want it to never end, let me tell you, yes you do. It will get stale and repetitive and I want the dream smp, or at least Tommys arc to go out with a beautiful and brilliant and fabulous plot ending instead of being dragged into the dirt. And then maybe new characters take the spotlight. Just please god give it a goode ending.

I also really hope they don't throw other things away to make Tommy the centre of attention, especially if it's destructive to the plot, or kind of weird and obnoxious.

Secondly, I am intrigued about the prison and Schlatts book to Dream and Technos favour and the egg and what that entails and I hope they really think through those plot points carefully and make them work, and don't forget them or throw them away.

Thirdly, I am intrigued for Wilburs return and hope that he manages to fix it cohesively without too crazy a change of pace and style and keeping characters (especially Ranboo and Fundy and Niki) consistent.

I hope they prep for the future and think things thought and communicate with each other.

It might be interesting to see other countries finally discussed but I don't know how much that would intefere with other plot points so we'll see.

That's all! Reminder that this is about characters and plot and this is just a few criticisms. I love the dream smp, but there are somethings I wanted to get of my chest. Please be respectful and feel free to discuss in the notes. Also, again, no hate to any CCs!

[lucasmeows-blog]

Why Daredevil series is so good

I was re-watching the Netflix Daredevil series.  I really love Daredevil, I read a lot about him, one of my favorite stages was the one Bendis wrote (after his success they gave him the ultimate universe, he was director of marvel and everything went to hell) he rethought Frank Miller's style, brought many great supporting characters and in addition to that unique tenure where his secret was in danger and he tried to convince the press that he was not daredevil while they investigated him. Bendis ends his stage with Matt going to jail and another very good stage begins

The thing is, the series portrayed the best of comics with an interesting three-dimensional character development: the bad guys aren't just bad, the good guys aren't totally good, they're all human. The daredevil series is faithful to the comic in the sense that it captures its essence and adapts it to reality (we all know that Daredevil has the gallery of the most ridiculous villains that exist)

The chosen color palette seems very appropriate to me because in a comic you can look good in his red devil costume but finding someone dressed like that would be quite ridiculous when what Matt was looking for was to instill fear in his enemies (or was that Batman?)

 They gave Karen an importance more than being the love of Matt's life that in reality the only thing she basically does is leave him and come back to leave him again. Karen never earned my love in comics, especially for selling Matt's identity FOR A SINGLE DOSE OF DRUG

I mean she could have asked for a lot more. However I had liked his return as a feminist activist who wanted to destroy the porn industry. The thing is that they gave her a personality from the beginning and a greater participation in the series, was not only the pretty secretary that both lawyers fall in love with (she had to be a naive and hegemonic blonde because they were going through times much more misogynistic than now. In fact the subject of misogyny in comics is left for another day to delve deeper)

 and the most important thing Karen is not alone to break Matt's heart and screw everything, he is convinced by the truth and becomes a reporter (a bit abrupt maybe but I accept it)

I always liked that formula from the comics where a client with a somewhat unusual problem presented himself, a difficult case that was not credible that Matt accepted when he learned that he was not lying and investigated the case as Daredevil. Something I really appreciated about the series is that Foggy is the first to find out his secret, Foggy always deserved more and was always treated as the naive friend of Matt Murdock, I think they gave him some of the respect he deserved, also many will remember his incredible bad luck in love, but the relationship with Marci that although it is a little strange ends up being pretty? I dont know

     What impacted me the most: Wilson Fisk and Bullseye, are one of the biggest villains daredevil faced, I had no faith that they interpret them well but OH MY GOD. I empathized with both of them and then I worried about myself. But it is great, I mean yes, maybe it is not the size that Kingpin has in the comics and it took a long time to put on his white suit but they show how he is building his empire, manipulating and convincing people, it was like a construction, when he finally Put on his white suit is like  ready. He did it, he became the Kingpin.

     I never thought Bullseye could be portrayed in any way other than a psychopathic killer incapable of feeling. They show us as a beginning, it reminds us that it necessarily had to be a person who lived in society until he got fed up and became what he is. It was quite ingenious and interesting, also a way of talking about mental health, and touching on that subject I would have liked to see a little more about Melvin Potter "the gladiator", who if you read comics you know him, but if you don't is going to be only the man that makes the costume for daredevil. I found his story very beautiful because it was not easy for him to recover, he needed Matt's trust and he became a very tender and sensitive giant human that unfortunately was easy to manipulate. Justice for Melvin. 

    I like that too, there wasn't a big obsession with saying who they were and remembering him all the time, they just were (I talk about the super cliche conversations where they yell daredevil, he yells the name of the villain and then replies -you'll never catch me daredevil because I ...- and they say his name and tell his whole evil plan). 

    In general I liked everything about the series, I love it, I found it so perfect, a work of art. It is the best adaptation I have ever seen and we know that the story of the comic is not perfect in its entirety. I was amazed at how good the scripts were, the character transformations, the tense moments, the way they portrayed Matt's heightened senses (haha I can smell the suit, Matt you should know that sounds super weird). Yesterday reading the credits I came across the list of thanks, and I understood why they managed to capture that essence. Look at those writers, that team, it's just incredible.

There is a lot to talk about, I just wanted to highlight those general aspects, as I already said I really love daredevil, I really like his relationship with Ben Urich and the numbers narrated from his perspective, it broke my heart a little that this character did not exploit but it is fine It doesn't have to be exactly like the comic. I think the proper enemies had to be carefully chosen to display, I also believed that the owl was going to survive and become a major villain eventually but it didn't. The series is really good, anyone can watch it and enjoy it, you don't have to be a comic fan to understand it. The coordination of fights, the camera movements, the lights, the scenery, the scripts, it is beautiful to see.

The man without fear. (Oh and Charlie Cox was so sexy)

[skgway]

1832 Nov., Tues. 6

8 50/..

12 1/2

Fine morning – Fahrenheit 49º at 9 20/.. a.m. – Called up to Wilson the joiner come about the library passage up and down stairs in 1/2 hour – Till 9 giving orders – Then breakfast with my father – Waited for Marian to order about flannel for waistcoats and drawers. Determined to have all ready to be off in January –

Had Washington – To have all the bills next week for wearing, mystal at Southolme etc. etc. – Just saw my aunt for a few minutes – Very kind 2 1/2 pages Letter from Miss McL– [MacLean] (Coll house aros) to say the bay on laurel leaved willows were sent off to Glasgow yesterday week with orders to be forwarded here immediately –

Off at 11 1/4 with Marian to call at the vicarage – There in 20 minutes and sat 1/2 hour with Mrs. Musgrave – Then went with Marian to Walker’s shop to order flannel etc. for things for me in readiness for being off – Hoped I really should be on route in January – Then parted with Marian –

Went to Whitley’s. Bought Hooper’s medical dictionary 25 /. [shillings] published at 28 /. [shillings] and in 50 minutes at Lidgate (at 1 1/2).  Miss W– [Walker] very glad to see me, I having said I should not go till tomorrow – Sat 1/2 hour with her and home at 2 1/2 –

Met Mr. Samuel Waterhouse junior (ætatis 17) at her gate – Stood talking a few minutes while Mr. and Mrs. Lockwood left Miss Walker – Mr. S[amuel] W[aterhouse] just came to her door to ask how she did – She said she should have me to nurse [her] now and really seemed much better and in good spirits. 

Talked of the agreeable surprise of seeing [me] but yet seemed more inclined to talk of business than love. I appeared in more than good spirits. She would think them all put on. And perhaps believe me feeling more acutely than I really did. I kissed her, but in a common way, and she did not push herself to me as yesterday and was more guarded.

She will not give me much reason now either to hope or despair. Her self possession will probably be undisturbed enough. I left her with no pleasant feeling, saying to myself, ‘Damn her. It is an arrow and perhaps a lucky escape.’ I dont think her answer will be yes.  And the more easily reconciled I am the better. Shall I dislike her by and by? At least I shall be more at liberty without her –

Fred Wilson, the joiner, and his man in the library passage at 2 1/2 – 26 or 27 inches lower than my blue room closet but determined not to be beaten with it, and went on – Dusty job to get the studding down –

Had only just managed and given orders what was to be done when James Holt came at 4 5/.. and had him till 6 – Something must be wrong that Mr. Jeremiah Rawson will not let go into their works – Probably they are stealing my coal already – Holt says I should not take less than £200 per acre but if he was in their place he would not give £250 per acre –  

Said I had at 1st asked the price between the 2 leases (£205 and £230) = £217.[pounds] 10. [shillings]. 0 [pence] but had said I should be worse to deal with now – Proposed asking £220 per acre but Holt owned the coal was worth as much now as when sold to Oates and Green and worth quite as much or more to Rawsons than to them (∴ [therefore] I ought to have £230 per acre) –

Owned too that I ought to have more for the coal at the top of the land, for it would make that at the bottom of less value. He thought they had a hundred yards plumbing dip i.e. could get with the water head a hundred yards breadth on this side and alongside the present waterhead driven by Oates and Company – Should shew Mr. J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] the coal plan – Ask him what fields he wanted and might let him Hugh grave field and the coal ungot to the north west of it and to the north east down in a straight line under the cunnery plantation down to the road but not to let him come lower down – 

Owned afterwards it would be as well not to let him come lower than the Cunnery houses, for if he got down to the brook he could throw such a quantity of water upon us – If he did not come lower down than Cunnery houses or the present Wakefield road, I might leave or fence of coal or turn the water, and not be so much injured –

Holt would meet J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] on the ground and see what he wanted – No air pit necessary for the lower bed coal, and not to sell any upper bed but by a separate agreement – Upper bed costs 6 d [pence] a score (corves) more getting than lower bed, and not being able to get it all, obliged to leave posts, makes it not work so much by £50 an acre as lower bed –

If J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] would not let Holt go into his works, I might propose either of the 2 brothers Squire or Tom Lassey of Thornhill, the former steward to Mr. Ingham of Misfield – In making the agreement to have surface measure, and the power to send down people into the works whenever I liked, and to have a clause to prevent J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] damming or turning any water back into the old works after he had got the coal (Had I not better have a bond of indemnity against this?) otherwise he might drown me in water and prevent my getting the coal below where he had been getting and had turned the water –

It was right enough that I should make no allowance for gauls or jumbles or ruttle – Great difference between drawing out at the day and pulling up thro’ a shaft – At their (Holt’s) pit on Swales moor 150 yards deep pulling costs them 18 pence a score; and ropes cost them £15 or £16 a year – One collier may be reckoned to get 25 corves a day for five days in a week – If J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] gets £100 profit per acre it will be quite enough –

Then see according to the following what to ask an acre for the coal –

Making all sufficient allowances there will come out of one square yard 5 corves, which (as J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] sells at 7 d [pence] and 8 d [pence] a corve, average at 7 1/2 d [pence] a corve –

Expense of getting 20 corves (or one score) 4 /. [shillings] to the colliers –

Banksman 1 /. [shilling] a score – wear and tear say 6 d [pence] a score, certainly enough –

Lower bed 18 inches thick – Lightcliffe bed 25 inches thick – Billy stocks paid £260 an acre 5 or 6 years ago for what he bought – This that Hinscliffe is taking must be worth as much – He will have very little to sink – 14 or 16 yards and coals worth less as nearer the surface – But not for being dry – But there is a gaul that throws up the coal near Lidgate (breaks out in the road going up the hill) and there cannot be any coal on this side that gaul near more than a daywork or 2 to get in that field next below the Smith (Hinscliffe’s) –

Speaking of Godley, wished Holt not to let it go for nothing but said I had mentioned it to Mr. Samuel Freeman – Holt said I could employ no one better – He said it was North £80 a daywork but £ a daywork was the outside – ∴ [therefore] the 20 dayworks = £2000 

Carr has been arrested several times lately – Speaking of the cottages on Godley land, Holt knows that the 4 belonging to his uncle George Holdsworth would be sold – Cost £50 each building and £40 the ground – But might be had he thinks for £ 200 – Will inquire and let me know –

Speaking of his farm, some people might buy it at 3 1/2 percent Rent £66 per anum but it would not suit him to buy land at that price – He explained the manner of working coal pits – Asked him to give me an underground plan of a pit in working and asked him to let me know when I could go down with him into one of his pits. I must understand coal-getting before I have done with it – Holts pit at Binns bottom will be ready for working in 2 months from this and I can go in at the day –

Dinner at 6 3/4 – In 1/2 hour wrote and sent at 7 35/.. 3 pages to “Dr. Belcombe York” or rather 2 pages and 3 or 4 lines to him and the rest to his wife, to be torn off and given to her, thanks for her letter and to say yes! I thought black velvet properly garni au blonde (white) would be very becoming to her –

Told him wished I could give a better account of his patient, but she was not worse on his hands, which was marvellous considering the affliction she had had on account of the sudden death of her most particular friend, the news of which had arrived the day after our leaving York – No pills last Thursday – Begged to have them next Thursday – Ask how long they are to be gone on with without interruption – She thought at 1st, but not afterwards, they gave her much physicky pain in her bowels – These last had behaved very well considering the affliction she had been in –

In fact, she believed she could not have been so well now, had she not had his advice – He is ���in très bonne odeur’ and his patient has faith enough in him – Mr. Day has been and, I suppose, would not let her believe in her own existence without the use of his ointment but ‘ce nous est égal’ – Ask him to write a letter I can shew. Not to spare a little anxiety and to ask whatever questions he knows will be proper. ‘Indeed not say I have the good of your reputation at heart’ –

John’s son Joseph Booth came over with Scott’s head groom to bring 2 perfect horses to Mr. Thomas Dyson of Willow field – Had him (Joseph B– [Booth]) in and spoke to him – He is grown, and improved – Perhaps I shall take him with me abroad – Then writing journal of today – Had John in – He is much pleased and satisfied with his son – Talked to him about his family – To send Charlotte for my aunt, to hear her read and see her sewing so as to be able to judge what she can do and be fit for –

Then my father and Marian just gone to bed. A few minutes with my aunt – Then came back to the drawing room – Read my letter from Vere dated Turin 24 October 3 pages and ends of small sheet (Frankfort paper) – Very nice chit chat amusing letter –

And read my letter from Lady Stuart (Richmond park) enclosing Vere’s 2 last to her – A kind 1/2 sheet full and a few lines on the envelope (franked by Lord Goderich) from Lady S– [Stuart]. These letters put me in spirits. I am better without Miss W[alker] – 

11 1/2 before I had read my letters and written so far of today –

5 corves at 7 1/2 d pence = 37 1/2 d [pence] = 3 1 1/2 per square yard

One score or 20 corves = 12/6 [shillings/pence] expense of getting which = 4 /. [shillings] to the colliers. 

∴ [therefore] 12/6 - 5/6 = 7 /. [shillings] clear gain per score = 1 /. [shilling] to the banksman or per 4 square yards = ./6 [shilling/pence] wear and tear (quite enough) –

At the forgoing rate, 5 corves or 1 square yard = clear gain of 1/9 [pound/shillings], 1 score (20 corves) or 4 square yards = clear gain of 7 /. [shillings] ∴ [therefore]

1 acre or 4840 square yards = at 1/9 [pound/shillings] per square yard or 7 /. [shillings] p[e]r 4 square yards = £423. [pounds] 10. [shillings] 0 [pence]

Now Holt said this calculation would do, and that £100 clear gain per acre was enough ∴ [therefore] if I have £250 per acre J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] has a profit of 423. [pounds] 10. [shillings]. 0 [pence] – 250 = £173. [pounds] 10. [shillings] 0 [pence]

Very fine day – Went up to my room at 11 50/.. at which hour Fahrenheit 49º

[sideways in margin] Sunday 23 December 1832 vide page 231, suppose Messieurs R– [Rawson] to sell at 7 1/2 per corve or 12/6 per score and allow half for expenses, then 48040/4 or 1210 x 6 shillings x 3 d [pence] = £363 + 15. [pounds] 2. [shillings] 6 [pence] = £378. [pounds] 2. [shillings]. 6 [pence], so that paying me £230. [pounds] 10. [shillings] 0 [pence] per acre then remains to Messieurs a profit per acre of £147. [pounds] 12. [shillings] 6 [pence]

[takadasaiko]

Hi, I don’t wanna sound rude but why r u romanticising an abuser? Howard was abusive to his son n was probably as cold hearted towards Maria 2. I mean, from all the clips we got of her with him, she seems wary n sad. Always compromising, some battered wife syndrome. There was a shot scene from IM2 where he made her cry. I also doubt he stayed faithful; he’s a womaniser n really a misogynist in Agent Carter. I hope I dont come off as rude. I just wonder how there r HowardMaria ship 😖 take care.

I’m not sure why people think that saying ‘I don't want to sound rude’ makes it any less rude to come into an inbox and call someone an abuse supporter. I’m not romanticizing abuse in any way, shape, or form. I enjoy the complexity of Howard’s character that we got a better view of through the Agent Carter series. I have an analysis here if you’re interested that delves into how he went from the disaster dork we saw in CATFA and the Agent Carter series to the man that Tony remembers as being cold and distant. I also have a post here that touches on it as well. 

I’m aware that there are various arcs in the comics in which Howard is a downright bastard and a half. I totally understand why fans wouldn’t and don’t like him in those arcs. I have no interest in that Howard. The one I write about and the one I spend time on is the one from the MCU who is shown as having more of an emotional disconnect with Tony and an inability to express how he felt in a way that Tony could understand. That’s not abuse. Terrible, stressful, and painful absolutely, but not abuse. 

We see Tony go on a journey through the Marvel movies from where he describes his dad in IM2 as someone that never said that he loved him through the clip that Howard message Howard left him on the reel all the way through getting to see his father in 1970 and experience how terrified, but still excited he was for Tony’s arrival. It’s part of growing up in a way. As Tony matures, experiences some of the things his father experienced, he gets a better, more rounded understanding of him. It doesn’t mean Howard was a ‘good’ father, necessarily. He screwed up in a LOT of ways and actions have consequences. Some of those were consequences that Tony lived through (such as not believing his father loved him). Thankfully Tony was able to break what I can only assume was a Stark family trend of bad communication between fathers and children. The way he takes what he saw his father do incorrectly and adjust for the way he approaches Morgan is fantastic and such a healthy response.

For Maria, we know precious little about her in the MCU. We saw her through Tony’s memories via BARF, Tony spoke about her to Steve, we saw her in the video where she and Howard are killed by the Winter Soldier aka Bucky, and then Howard spoke about her in End Game.  Breaking those down individually: 

BARF

In the BARF memory form Civil War she strikes me as long-suffering dealing with the Stark men’s antics. Howard and Tony clearly had a habit of pushing the other’s buttons and Maria just sits there at the piano lightly chiding them. She didn’t strike me as an abused wife in the slightest. It’s not a stretch to assume she had to give things up to become Howard Stark’s wife - she would live in the spotlight with him - but that hardly means she’s abused. Any sadness seems to stem from the fact that her boys don’t see eye-to-eye. She loves them, she knows that they love each other, but stubborn Stark boys have trouble expressing that and butt heads instead. I’d be frustrated too. That woman had to be a freakin’ saint.

Which takes us to our next mention of her....

Talking to Steve 

When Tony is rambling on to Steve about why he and Pepper are taking a break in Civil War he says that, in Pepper’s defense, he’s a handful (Tony is likely my favourite MCU character, but I think anyone can admit he’s a handful). He goes on to say that Howard was a ‘pain in the ass, but Mom always made it work.’ He’s comparing the same level of Stark boy drama and the women that love them. We’ve seen Pepper. She’s sharp and clever and takes no shit. This conversation here is one of the reasons I feel Maria had to be very similar. The parallel is drawn through comparison. 

The Recording/ Bucky’s Memories

When we’re watching the video of the Starks’ car crash and shift into Bucky’s memories there, the first thing Bucky remembers is Howard falling out of the car and mumbling ‘help my wife. Help my wife.’ For all of Howard’s fault (and the man has a laundry list of defects), his first thought was to help Maria, not himself. 

And I would just like to take a brief moment to note that abusers focus is on themself. On what they can gain. It’s not to help others. 

End Game Discussion

This whole conversation was really to give Tony closure with all the questions he had about Howard and the lingering ‘did my father ever love me?’ that was difficult to get a real answer to once he was gone. Even so, we see Howard thinking about his pregnant wife at home. Flowers and whatever she was craving at the time. It’s small, but it’s sweet, and for a man that could have easily just told Jarvis to get her whatever she wanted, he’s doing it. It shows a certain level of care and attention that from a man that clearly struggles in that arena emotionally, deepening the meaning of the actions.

For your other mentions...

Tony was a womanizer in IM1, but he was faithful to Pepper once they got together. With all the parallels drawn between Tony and his father, why do you think Howard was any different?

Also, I’m not sure I know what scene you’re referring to in IM2. Maria’s mentioned very briefly when Tony pops up in the reel they’re shooting and Howard asks him where his mother is. Feel free to jog my memory on that one, because I’m at a loss there.

You seem to make a lot of assumptions based on a bias that you seem to start with, which is your prerogative. You’re welcome to feel however you wish about a character for whatever reason you wish to feel that way. What you are not welcome to do is come into my inbox and call me an abuse condoner.

[fyrapartnersearch]

rEEE writers inbound

hey there! i’m rhys. i am 22, live in the ct, and love ooc chatter! my ooc is pretty lax, but i promise my writing is a helluva lot more formal. i write in third person, past/present tense, and paragraph form. im not a rapid-fire writer, and won’t be able to constantly get replies in every day (i can get responses in anywhere between every couple of days to a week or two). however, i will ALWAYS put tlc into all of my posts and characters! i write anywhere between 300-900 words. it’s definitely alright if you don’t feel up to that amount at any given point, but i do appreciate keeping it somewhere in this range. im very wordy, and can spew out a novel if im excited enough lmao

  my limits are pretty general; i will not do beastiality, pedophilia, vore, or scat. i can indulge in a variety of kinks, but if it’s a little much for any average person, i’m less likely to write it out (i.e extreme ddlg or adult babies, furries, extreme pet play, etc.) but i can be persuaded to lightly touch on certain kinks as long as they’re not 10000% filth lmao i cannot, and will not, do seme/uke or top/bottom dynamics. absolutely not. queer relationships shouldn’t be defined by whose taking the D. i dont want to interact with squeamish little femboys, or awful macho men with downright rapey tendencies. versatility is key, and power struggles are what i live for! i will, however, indulge in BDSM dynamics with certain plots— although, domination isn’t always about penetration, you know?

  give me characters with aspirations, hopes and dreams, and crushing past experiences that flesh them out into who they are. no one is perfect, and we all have things that rear their ugly heads in the dark. problematic characters, male or female or anything in between, are everything. i love lgbtq+ characters, as i am part of the community myself, and will almost always be more inclined in writing queer characters. not to say i won’t write for strictly straight pairings, m/f, but usually i am iffy when approached with it if i am just meeting you.

  i write for all genders, ethnicity, and orientations! you can find a few writings examples of mine here. i am pretty welcoming of most things. smut, of course. some kink a little out there that you want to suggest? let's do it, dude. i am super OOC friendly and i am pretty much a garbled mess when i get to know you!  i’m a social person— i feel like a burden if you’re not into chatting with me, so please, if you’re not looking to be both a writing partner as well as a friend, i might not be the gal for you. i am open to crooked relationships, ones that don't function right, dark/morally corrupt characters, unconditional love, etc. my interests fluctuate! i am down, 24/7, guys! i only roleplay over email, but will ooc chat over discord or hangouts! here's a list of fandoms and pairings below that i am looking to write for atm. i do have many more, but these are just the ones off the top of my head!

_________

  Borderlands

Handsome Jack/Rhys

Handsome Jack/Rhys/Nisha

  Life is Strange

Max Caulfield/Chloe Price

Max Caulfield/Kate Marsh/Victoria Chase

Nathan Prescott/Warren Graham

Rachel Amber/Chloe Price

Frank Bowers/Damon Merrick

  DC

Dick Grayson/Jason Todd

Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson

Dick Grayson/Wally West

Harley Quinn/Pamela Isley

  Batman: Telltale Series

Bruce Wayne/John Doe

Bruce Wayne/Selina Kyle

Bruce Wayne/Harvey Dent/Selina Kyle

  Marvel

Stephen Strange/Tony Stark

Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson

Thor/Bruce Banner

Peter Parker/Harry Osborn

Peter Parker/Wade Wilson

Wade Wilson/Vanessa Carlysle

Gwen Stacy/Peter Parker/Harry Osborn

Peter Parker/Wade Wilson/Vanessa Carlysle

  Uncharted

Nathan Drake/Samuel Drake

Nathan Drake/Harry Flynn

Chloe Frazer/Nadine Ross

  TTGOT

Asher Forrester/Gwyn Whitehill

Rodrik Forrester/Arthur Glenmore

Mira Forrester/Margaery Tyrell

Gryff Whitehill/Elaena Glenmore

Gared Tuttle/Finn

Gared Tuttle/Josera Snow

  The Walking Dead

Rick Grimes/Negan

  TWDG

Javier Garcia/David Garcia

Clementine/Gabriel Garcia

Clementine/Louis

Clementine/Violet

Marlon/Louis

Javier Garcia/Paul “Jesus” Rovia

  Far Cry (3-5)

Jason Brody/Vaas Montenegro

Jason Brody/Bambi “Buck” Hughes

Ajay Ghale/Pagan Min

Ajay Ghale/Sabal

Ajay Ghale/Sabal/Amita

Rook/Joseph Seed

Rook/John Seed

Rook/Faith Seed

  Punisher

Frank Castle/David Lieberman

Frank Castle/Billy Russo

  Mass Effect: Andromeda

Scott Ryder/Reyes Vidal

Scott Ryder/Gil Brodie

Scott Ryder/Peebee

Sara Ryder/Peebee

Sara Ryder/Vetra Nyx

  Kill Your Darlings

Lucien Carr/Allen Ginsberg

  ____________

Onto original plots!

——————

  Office romances/BDSM/Friends with benefits-turned-lovers

okay, so, i had this type of roleplay with someone a while back. maybe more than two or three years back that i fell out of contact with and i could never really get it out of my head because it was probably one of the best character-building stories i’ve ever taken part of. :’) i don’t remember their name, but i do hope they’ll contact me again if they ever see this. while some of this may seem specific, none of it is concrete and i promise i am very easy to get along with and very accomodating! the plot i remember had three different relationships— completely different people, with different lives and different worlds, with only one common thing between them being that they work in the same building. we can do all three, or we can do a few, or even  one! i dont mind.

  **pairing A; M/F preferred (lol i know broke my own rule, but i adore femdoms! extra: please come with an open mind. this is not a 50 shades AU, and i do not want it to be.) this one is between a CEO and an intern in their senior year of college. The CEO is a femdom, and freshly out of divorce, takes a liking to the clumsy intern who’d spilled coffee on her more than once. The intern has never been in a relationship with an older woman, let alone one running a multi-million dollar company, but hey, isn’t that the dream for some broke twenty-something down on his luck? She introduces him to BDSM, and while he’s hesitant, the idea is as exciting as it is frightening. He accepts her offer— while it’s difficult at times, he begins to learn more about her. Her ex-spouse, her young child, and her unwillingness to develop a sincere relationship with him. She’s had subs before, and while she tells him he isn’t disposable, he begins to feel it was the truth. He grows to have feelings for her, and while she isn’t too keen on admitting it, the feeling is mutual. I’d love to explore their dynamic in and out of sex, and the conflict between the intern and her ex-spouse. I love age gaps, and think it would be awesome to see them develop over time to find common ground to establish a personal relationship and trying to even out their power imbalances. I don’t mind playing either the CEO or the intern, but I am leaning more towards the CEO. :V**

  **pairing B; M/M preferred (this one is waaay more gritty and more dub-con than anything so please beware!) this one is between two higher-ups who have been butting heads for years— and occasionally, sexual tension neither have acted on. A is a snarky, openly gay man, and probably what some would consider shallow and noncommittal. B is a brooding, closeted ‘by the book’ type well into his thirties, and refuses to engage in anything sexual with men despite his obvious attraction; B has younger siblings he takes care of as well as his mother, and being the oldest son and only provider, hasn’t done a thing for himself in twenty years. A lives completely alone, complete with a bachelor pad and, the influx of flings that went nowhere past sex, and has risen to the top with his own sheer will. they have conflicting motives, and while both of them have an intense hatred for each other, they’ve never engaged in physical altercations in fear of losing their jobs. one day, A jabs a little below the belt, and finally, B starts swinging. this fight turns into something way more heavy in the company parking lot. what happens between them in the long run is something desperate, needy, and longing for real affection. it began as a mindless need for sex, angry and mean and formal, with B being especially unwilling to ‘give up’ his masculinity and ever be on the receiving end in fear of losing the control he needs to keep this up. i’d love to see them begin to see each other in a different light, and changing each other for the better. i’d also love to see A showing B that sex doesn’t have to be meaningless, and that he doesn’t need to fear letting A be in control. And B showing A that commitment isn’t as terrifying as it may be, with them gradually going from rivals, to friends with benefits, and eventually lovers. i, again, don’t mind writing for either! **

  **pairing C; F/F preferred. (aaa this pairing is way more fluffy and sweet, with hurt/comfort as a stable of their dynamic.) this one is between two small-office employees in the company. A is fairly tame at work in order to support her sibling(s), of which she has adopted from her father’s custody years ago. she is fairly confident with her sexuality, and while not being the type to frequent clubs, is dragged along by a few friends and there, meets B. B is a young woman who just recently got out of a relationship with an abusive ex fiance— B has only ever been with that man, and was never confident in exploring her sexuality due to a religious upbringing and parents who were dead set on traditional values. she’s never strayed from her ex, and while he wasn’t faithful or remotely good to her in return, she was heartbroken with their split. months after, he returns to the city and B’s close friends decide to take her out on a girls’ night to make her feel better— B coincidently sees her ex, and feeling childish and unattractive, heads off to the bar to get a drink. she’s nowhere near a drinker, and just before she does drown her sorrows, is hit on by A. while initially shocked, B is flustered and finds herself immediately attracted to A. they have a one-night stand, and while B believes that A would just leave in the morning, A instead lays with her until she wakes up, and leaves her number. B is too anxious to text her. they bump into each other at the elevator that Monday. they agree to be just friends, until B knows what she wants. A is willing to wait. B might have a crush, and A is intent on building B up to love herself and her body. i would overall prefer to write for A, but if you’re dead set, no prob!**

  Serial killer/1960’s/Small town sheriff

no preferred pairing! would love, love, love to see something between a serial killer and a small town sheriff in the mid-to-late sixties. we could make up a new little town, or find one to our liking! A is the sheriff who had been born and raised in this town with a good home life, loving parents, and a steady moral compass, albeit trapped in a loveless marriage. they know everyone, and every nook and cranny of the place like the back of their hand. this is the type of place where people don’t have to lock their doors at night, or constantly watch their kids when they’re out in the yard playing. that is, until people start going missing and horrifyingly mutilated bodies began to pop up around town. B is a well-liked baker in town; known to be genuinely friendly and kind, B has a very corrupt past. both of their parents were heinously abusive, and as a child, B developed sociopathic tendencies. B was inherently spiteful of the town and the people in it, for leaving them to rot in hell for eighteen years, and for never reaching out. B formed a god complex, his intentions to ‘purify the corrupt’. they keep tabs on almost everyone in town, and the victims they do take are put in the soundproof basement of his home to be ‘baptized’; tortured, beaten, and mutilated beyond recognition. A and B are friendly with each other as A comes to the bakery every morning, with B’s motives completely unbeknownst. one night, A, frustrated and pissed from the dead ends of the case of the decade, decides to head to the bar and relax. B is the one face A didn’t mind seeing that night, and one thing lead to another, with A and B in a dark alley getting each other off— i definitely see this as B grooming A to be a complicit pet, and when A gets closer and closer to figuring out who the killer is, he forms a deep connection with B. B develops a possessiveness over A, along with that sense of ownership he’d established between them. B manipulates A, coerces him into a false sense of security, and eventually— A finds out, and while B initially thinks to kill A, A is corrupted by B and forms some kind of stockholm syndrome for B. it’s up to A on whether or not they turn B in, or cover the killer’s tracks. B, despite his very sick and repulsive nature, develops a true infatuation for A, as close to love as they were ever going to get, and A is desperate enough to please B that they’ll do anything to not disappoint them.

  Post apocalypse/decades later/immunity

no pairing preferred! the plot I had in mind is loosely based off of a video game called "The Last of Us", which i am sure most of you have a general knowledge of! (definitely check it out if you don’t :O it’s a great game!!) the prompt i was shooting for goes something like this; in a post-apocalyptic world where a pandemic has killed off most living species, character A is a lone wolf with little to do with other people that don't benefit him, except for a select few. A is especially rough around the edges, as he's lived through some sick shit and lived to tell the tale. A had once been part of a group dedicated to finding a cure, but things went south, and a lot of people died. A had a close bond with the leader of said group, and coincidentally they were the only survivors. their past together, having been deeply demented and twisted, caused them to fall out. said leader has rebuilt a new group in the ten years since the last time they'd seen A. character B is the only known immune person alive, and has dedicated their life to being a resource to finding a cure. A and his (current) contact/partner in crime have something taken from them, and are determined to get it back. they do some searching, and are confronted with this group-- they have what they need, but are only willing to give it to them for a favor in return. no one can outrun their past forever. so, this plot isn't concrete. things can be changed, we can do whatever we want, and i am happy to comply to any revisions or suggestions! i'd really enjoy taking on A, if that's alright!

  TREASURE HUNTERS/ANCIENT CURSES/LOVE-HATE DYNAMICS/MODERN

treasure hunters!!!! yES!! think Uncharted or Tomb Raider. an architect/treasure hunter is being funded an expedition to find a lost treasure and they are forced to bring along a reporter in order to receive the funds. the reporter and architect certainly dont get along in the beginning— they bicker, and clash on most fronts. the expedition wasnt meant to be dangerous. what was initially thought to be a simple job turned into something treacherous; bandits, a team of hired hitmen and their leader looking to take the treasure for themselves, and some rather supernatural elements that they both couldnt quite put a finger on. the treasure hunter and the reporter have to work together to get out of this alive, and get to the artifact before someone else does. (the “treasure” is definitely up for debate!! we can chose a real life lost treasure, or just make one up!! it can be anywhere around the world, and everything is at our disposal).

  DEMON/INHERITANCE/HUNTERS/MODERN

character A has an awful time living in the city— alone, and without mom's guidance, completely lost. one day they receive a call about a deceased relative, one they'd never heard of, one that apparently left their estate and everything in it in their will to A. with nothing but the clothes on their back, A took a shot in the dark and drove out to this presumed "estate" come early summer, only to find that it's a mansion in a tiny little town with an eerie vibe and populated by the typical small town churchgoers and farm folk. living in this town was a hell of a challenge; everyone was nice, too nice, and people started to go missing. character B is an exceptionally charismatic, charming person and the only mechanic/handyman in town. A and B become friends, partially, when A needs to fix up the piping in their estate. A stumbles upon the attic one day, and for once, they start to get why this whole town reeked to the roots in weird shit-- their deceased relative was tracking something here in this town, having to do with all of the MIA townsfolk. DR has a board of possible suspects, and at the center? B. A shrugs it off as their relative having been paranoid, but the longer A stays in this town, the more apparent it becomes that DR wasnt crazy. B is, in fact, not the murderer, instead a supernatural being (open for debate! im on the fence with demons, vampires, etc.) on a mission to track down the monster, same as DR. i am so down for internal struggles, sweet gestures, and overall, two people just trying to make it work! i could also see A being hella paranoid that B is the monster, and maybe tries to throw cloves of garlic at them only to realize thats not exactly how this monster hunter business works lmao

  DEPRESSED WRITER/YOUNG MUSE/between 1920’s-1960’s/sex, drugs, & the american dream

m/m preferred! A is a severely depressed middle-aged man believing his life has been wasted. his wife left him with their child at her hip, his career was in a rut, and he had nothing left to live for. opting for suicide, he goes out one evening to purchase a bottle of gin to down with a handful of prescription sleeping pills when he returned to his apartment. instead of going directly home, he’s swept in by the music in an underground club for queers. there he meets B; all encompassing, angel faced, and the only person A didn’t know how to look away from. B is a former US Navy Seal, aspiring musician, and avid indulger of the human body— A stays a little too long, owlish and red, and after the show, B approaches him with a cattish smile. they spark a friendship, and A is thrown down the rabbit hole when B introduces him to his social circle, filled to the brim with drag queens, junkies, queers, and the overall unusual— he integrates into this community, his contemplation of suicide only a distant memory, and begins to find himself extremely attracted to B. he lights a fire in A, something dangerous and unquenchable, and A finds himself drawn in by the unpredictability. A embarks with B on a journey of self exploration, passion, and inevitable love in a world that scorned the oddities of human attraction and anyone who dared to be free.

  thanks for your time! if you've read through, please contact me at dotiscat@gmail.com on email or rhys#3615 on discord and mention kiwi somewhere in your initial message. n_n

  Rhys xoxo

[themcuhasruinedme]

Hungry Eyes

[Summary]: There was no denying it; Scott had a massive crush on you. How he wished that he could tell you how he felt but it seemed to him as though you didn’t share those same feelings. But deep down, you secretly harbored those feelings because on the surface, you played it as Scott was “just a friend” material. But when Scott has his breaking point and becomes jealous of you going out on a date, a fire heats up between the two of you when you get back and feelings are confessed, leading to the most exhilarating night you’ve ever had.

[Pairing]: Scott x reader

[Warning]: SMUT, NSFW (18+ only), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, people!), language, masturbation

[Word Count]: 2,831

Tagging: @marvel-ash @dividedwecantfall @buckysmetallicstump @rotisserierogers @avengerofyourheart @nataliarxmanxva @metalarmproblems @marvelingatthewonder @mcuimxgine @capsbuchanan @imagine-assembling-the-avengers @that-sokovian-bastard @hellomissmabel @abovethesmokestacks @maybe-mikala @bellameys @hymnofthevalkyrie @after-avenging-hours @buckys-shield @callamint @redgillan @tragicalchemist @marvelous-fvcks @professionally-crazed @thetalesofmooseandsquirrel @fanfic-shiz @i-dont-know-how-to-write @iwillbeinmynest @theassetseyeliner @lilasiannerd @aubzylynn @viollettes @sgtbxckybxrnes @marvelatthepeople @iamwarrenspeace @marvelrevival @pufflethehuff @alwayshave-faith @magnitude101999 @barnesvogue

A/N: First gif was made by yours truly! Other gifs used are not mine. This is my first smut fic, so go easy on me… Used this song as inspiration [x] Feedback for this would be greatly appreciated! I would also like to thank Annie (aka @hellomissmabel the Ant-thony to my Scott) and Chels (aka @marvelous-fvcks) for beta-ing this for me. Love ya, sweeties!

As you trained in the gym alone, sweat dripping down your forehead and also soaking into the hem of your sweat pants, Scott stood at the door watching you while trying to build up the courage to go in and train with you. His nervousness around you made it only that much harder.

He had a massive crush on you ever since you joined the team two years ago and everyone knew it. You on the other hand, had only wanted to keep it professional between the two of you. It’s not that you didn’t like Scott, you sure as hell did. But you tried to convince yourself that Scott was not “boyfriend material”, even though there were certain things about his personality that you loved and admired.

You enjoyed when he did something really cute for you on occasion, like make waffles for breakfast or give you his jacket when he could see that you were cold. The little things he did to impress you made him that much more desirable because traits of being a gentleman were very hard to find in a guy now-a-days. But you still told yourself that nothing would become more for Scott and you and you should be able to date other guys and not worry about what your fellow team members thought, including Scott.

Scott huffed into his bangs and opened the door.

“Hey, [Y/N],” he said and placed his water bottle and towel next to your stuff.

You stopped and wiped your forehead. “Hey Scott,” you said, a bit out of breath. You walked over to him and grabbed your water bottle taking a few swigs from it.

He leaned against the wall and looked you up and down, imagining what it would be like to have his hands all over your body. Feeling a slight twinge in his pants quickly snapped him out of his thoughts and he cleared his throat, making you turn towards him.

“Um, I wanted to know if I could train with you for a bit,” he said.

You smiled and nodded. “Sure. But I won’t go easy on you,” you answered placing your water bottle back down and walking over towards the mat.

Scott chuckled. “I don’t expect you to.” He stared at your ass as you walked away and had to quickly snap himself out of his thoughts once again. His fantasies about you sometimes made it even that much more harder to be around you.

You and him trained for the next hour and a half and were pretty much soaked in sweat by the time you two were done. Scott needed to take his shirt off just so it wasn’t as clingy to his skin and you almost tripped over your bag when you saw him. His chiseled abs and glistening skin were enough to make your ovaries pop. 

Yet you cleared your mind as fast as you could, saying to yourself, “Don’t do this to yourself, [Y/N]. He’s just a friend and thats how it’s gonna stay. Plain and simple.”

You grabbed your stuff and headed towards the elevator so you could go take a shower in the safety of your room, without having to think about what you just saw. But having a hand slide through the elevator doors just as they were almost closed and having Scott get in with you, shirt still off, didn’t help in the slightest.

“You were good today, [Y/N],” Scott said and smiled at you.

“Thanks,” you answered. “You weren’t so bad yourself. Gotta work on those side kicks a little though, I think.” And gave him a smirk.

He chuckled which made you a bit weak in the knees. Your mind started to reel with so many fantasies of how it would be with Scott that your clit started aching and you had to lean against the wall of the elevator for support. Luckily for you, he got off on the next floor. 

When he got out and the doors closed, you slumped to the floor, clenching your fists and started to groan. “How? HOW?!” you yelled. “How am I supposed to keep this “just friends” thing going when he’s like this?! UGH!” 

You stood back up when the elevator dinged for your floor. “I gotta get out tonight. Try and clear my mind,” you told yourself. And even though taking a shower felt good after a hot workout, it sure as hell didn’t help that you had another fantasy about you and Scott in the shower. 

Once again, your cunt started aching and you leaned against the wall, the water cascading over you. Your hands starting to roam your body imagining that it was Scott’s and you grabbed one of your breasts while your other hand went down to your clit. Using the wetness that was already seeping from you, you slid a finger in, having a moan emit from the back of your throat.

Your back arched off the wall as you slid another finger in, hitting your sweet spot. Tugging at your hardened nipple, your lips quivered underneath your own touch. A louder moan escaped from you as you curled your fingers, bringing you closer to your orgasm. A gasp followed by a sigh emitted from deep within you, making your body shudder a bit as you rode it out.

You cleaned yourself off and got dressed, still thinking you needed to get out for the night especially after what you did in the shower. Heading over to the local bar, you struck up a conversation with a really great guy who ended up giving you his number, wanting to go out on a date the next night. You of course said yes and that you would call him the next day.

Doing as you promised, you called him and set up the date for that night. You trained with Scott again that day but had to stop at a certain time to start getting ready.

“Ready for what?” Scott asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

“I have a date. No big deal,” you responded.

Scott stopped a minute and looked at you. “You have a date? Since when?”

“What does it matter? I can have a life outside the Tower, can’t I?” you asked.

“Well, yea, but…” Scott started to stutter. “I didn’t think that…”

You cut him off. “What? That I’d ever date a normal guy? That I have to date another superhero? Scott, that’s so stereotypical, it’s ridiculous. You guys are like family to me. And I would never in a million years date a family member! That’s just so…” and you shuddered, even thinking about that, “gross.” 

You grabbed your stuff and headed towards the door. “I have to go get ready,” you said and left, leaving Scott standing there speechless. 

He looked down, anger filling up inside him. He clenched his fists and punched the punching bag extremely hard, pushing the stand it was hanging on back a few feet. He walked over towards his stuff and throwing his back against the wall, he slid down it into a crouching position and placed his head in his hands. Those were the last words he ever thought he’d hear from you.

The door bell rang and you yelled from the bathroom for Scott to get the door. “Please? He’s gotta wait a minute! I’m not quite done.”

Scott, flipping through tv channels, yelled back and asked, “Why can’t he wait outside?”

“Scott! PLEASE?!”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

He opened the door for your date and told him that you weren’t ready yet. Scott sat back on the couch and flipped through a few more channels before you came down the stairs.

He couldn’t believe his eyes. He tried not to stare at you as you came down but it was kinda hard for him not to. You were absolutely gorgeous in the little black dress you had on and it fit you perfectly, showing off every one of your curves in just the right places. Swallowing hard and trying to focus back on the tv, he kept glancing at you as you went to go get your little matching jacket and put your shoes on.

You went over by Scott and placed your hands on his shoulders, leaning down towards his ear. “I’ll be back later, Scott,” you said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. “By the way, I’m sorry I got angry with you earlier. We’re still friends, right?”

He turned and looked at you, giving a weak smile. “Yea, we are. I’m sorry for thinking that you shouldn’t be able to date whoever you want.”

You smiled at him and wrapped your arms around his neck, giving him another quick kiss. “Bye, Scott!” you called over your shoulder and he raised his arm in a goodbye motion.

When the door closed, he couldn’t help but feel completely jealous that you were going out on a date with someone else and not him. He leaned forward, letting the remote fall to the floor and placed his hand on his forehead, running his fingers through his hair in frustration pursing his lips together. 

He took in a deep breath to calm down but instead, inhaled the intoxicating scent of your lingering perfume. He couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to make his feelings for you known and if that didn’t happen tonight, he stood a good chance at losing you.

When you got back from your date, Scott was waiting in the Common Room to talk with you. He paced back and forth, trying to figure out the right words to say. When you got in the room, you saw him pacing and asked if everything was ok. He said it was and you started walking towards the elevator but then he called out to you. Turning around, Scott started walking towards you.

“[Y/N]… I.. uh… there’s something…,” he started to stutter drastically. You knew that when Scott got like this, he was nervous about something.

“Scott, what is it?” you asked.

He took a deep breath and finally found his words. “[Y/N], I love you.”

You raised you eyebrows in shock. You knew he was majorly crushing on you but didn’t know it was this much. You stood there speechless, mouth gaping open, as he kept walking towards you and continued to let things out.

“I’ve loved you for a while now. You’re smart and beautiful and…,” at this point he was standing right in front of you, “And I don’t know what it is but I feel like I can always be my funny self around you. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before and I really can’t explain it.” He stopped a minute and looked at you, still being completely speechless. “Are you gonna say something?”

Realizing you still had you mouth open from hearing his first sentence, you closed it quickly and licked your lips, trying to find something to say. “Wow, Scott… um, well.. I’ve liked you a lot too.. I just never…” but your sentence was cut off from Scott’s lips landing on yours.

He pulled back and even though you were shocked, a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. Having this be his confirmation to continue, Scott pulled you in for another kiss. You dropped your purse and placed your hand on the back of his neck, deepening the kiss.

He pushed you back against the wall and placed your hands on the wall too, above your head, entwining his fingers with yours. You raised your leg slowly against his thigh, feeling his erection pressed against you. 

His hand trailed all the way down from your arm to your thigh and hoisted your leg up a bit more, letting you feel his hardening length against your clothed, wet folds while you started to run your fingers through his hair and claw at the back of his shirt. Your toes curled and your back arched off the wall as Scott trailed kisses down your jawline. You let out a small moan as he nipped a bit at your collar bone.

Scott picked you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist, while he led the two of you to the elevator. When the doors closed he had you against the wall once again, kissing you passionately. A low growl rumbled from the back of his throat as you slipped your tongue into his mouth.

He slowly started to unzip the back of your dress and feeling the coldness of the wall on your hot skin made you let out a gasp, allowing Scott more access to your mouth. You started grinding your hips against his as you unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it on the floor and feeling his length get harder by the second.

When the elevator dinged for your floor, he carried you to your room, closed the door and gently placed you on the bed. Hovering over you, you could see that Scott’s beautiful green eyes were full blown with lust and hunger. Hunger to see what was awaiting him once your dress was completely off.

Locking your lips together again in a heated kiss, your back arched off the bed as he slowly trailed his finger up the inside of your thigh. A moan escaped his lips as he felt you unbutton his jeans and slide your hand into them, slowly stroking his length, making it harder with each gentle touch. Getting on your knees you slid them down to the floor, Scott then kicking them off. He then slid your dress off, revealing only a pair of panties.

Licking his lips at the sight, he climbed on top of you and took hold of one of your breasts in his hand and the other in his mouth. Slowly sucking on your hardened nipple and rubbing the other in between his fingers, you ran your fingers through his hair moaning with every flick of his tongue. 

Arching your hips up some as the sensation reeled through your body, Scott felt your soaked panties against his abs. He looked at you with a devilish grin and slowly slid his fingers into them, lightly touching your wet folds. Your breath hitched in your throat as your core heated up eve more.

Scott slipped a finger in, rubbing little circles on your swollen clit while having beads of precum spill from his tip. Sliding another finger in and picking up the pace a bit, you grabbed the sheets in your hands, back arching as high as it could go as he kept hitting your g-spot.

“Scott, please. I need you…” you breathlessly moaned. “I want you in me.” Your legs writhed with the feeling of his fingers deep in you, making you grab one of your breasts and play with the hardened nub. “Fuck me now, Scott… please…”

Scott was having the pleasure of seeing you come undone because of him. Taking his fingers out and licking them clean he shimmied out of his boxers, his cock hard and erect. Pulling your soaked panties off and tossing them aside, he positioned the tip at your entrance and slowly pushed it in, allowing you to adjust to him. 

Scott’s thrusts were slow and steady at first but he picked up the pace, which made you want to scream out in pleasure. Your fingers clawed at his shoulder blades and into his hair as he pounded into you. He lifted your legs onto his shoulders getting a better angle for both of you and hitting your sweet spot with every single thrust. You cried out as your walls clamped around Scott’s throbbing shaft.

“Fuck, [Y/N], you feel so good..”

“Scott… I’m-gonna… gonna..” you whimpered.

“That’s right, baby, cum… Come on, baby…”

He let go of your legs and made one last deep thrust, making you scream out his name. A slew of curses came out of both of you as your body convulsed underneath Scott as you hit your climax with him following right after, filling your throbbing pussy with his hot stickiness.

Scott collapsed on top of you, both of you panting as you rode out your highs. Eventually, he pulled out of you and sat up, pulling you up with him and placing gentle kisses on your temple, holding you close to him, rubbing his hands up and down your back as you slowly ran your fingers through his hair.

You got up and walked to the bathroom to clean yourself up with Scott following suit. After that, he put on a pair of sweats and you put your panties back on along with one of his button up shirts. Climbing back on the bed, the two of you snuggled close to each other, watching tv.

Scott kissed the top of your head and whispered, “I love you, [Y/N].”

You smiled and looked up at him. “I love you too, Scott.”

[coolgirl]

Fic recs masterpost

ok so i used to have a lot of fics masterposts on my old blog and people keep asking for recs + i wont be able to upddate them or anything anymore so i decided to just move them all to this blog

under the cut: AUS / arkham knight / jaykyle / jayroy / robin!jason / gen / angst fics 

*: last added (april 4) //   for some reason the links arent working so go to jasontodd.tumblr.com/ficrecs for the links, sorry!

AUS

The Virtue of Revenge | young justice au with jason as red x making his own team with roy, starfire, raven, and others. i love it, even if it has shaky moments and stuff pls give it a chance.

crystal silence creeping down | young justice/lost days au

Flicker from View | another young justice au

Live to Rise | yes. you guessed it. young justice au.

Collide &  Convergence | au where post crisis jason goes to the young justice universe

The Changeling Sequence | series where jason meets damian before he went to gotham. The last part is a wip that i doubt will ever get updated again, so uh be careful. read only the first or second part and forget about the third.

The Drag of Fate | au where jason is lady shiva’s son as well. Part of a series, which i also highly recommend but idk if they would be au as well

heavy on the heart | another jason and cass are bio siblings. A+.

Didymous | cass and jason are twins.

repairing the world | i dont know how to explain this series.. its an au and really really good. Jason doesn’t appear in all the pieces.

just go  | jayroy, wings au

In the Shadows (of Who We Used to Be) | jayroy, black widow & hawkeye au

The Family (or how Jason Todd was adopted by the Avengers) | marvel crossover

bad boys bad boys (whatcha gonna dooo) ♫ | jason is damian’s batman. iconic fic imo.

Rise (And Try Not to Fall) | star wars au

A Bird in Morning | bruce finds jason when he’s at the hospital after crawling out of his grave

Moment Between | ghost jason & ghost martha and thomas wayne

We’re not in Crime Alley Anymore | au where jason was younger when bruce took him (and he didnt become robin)

Perhaps The World Ends Here | marvel crossover, future jaykyle

Batten Down the Hatches | a few different aus here. young justice + helena wayne

My Brother's Keeper | jason & damian knew each other from before + damian arrives to gotham just for jason

When the Moon Found the Sun | main story is clark/bruce but it’s preetty cute. soulmates au.

Between the Light and the Dark* | damian & jason uuhm i cant remember what this one was about per se bc im reading like 5487 similar fics but yeah

Two Dead Birds  | time travel stuff

Red Blood, Blue Blood | jason (and the rest of the batkids) are bruce’s biological kids, yeah i wasnt a big fan of the premise at first either but its gud

Rebirth | talia & jason, mind the warnings

you belong among the wildflowers | kate n renee adopt jason instead of bruce

We're the warriors of tomorrow |  Cass, Jason and Damian meet while with the League of Shadows

Can You Hear Me?  | ghost jason

to death's other kingdom I will not go  | bruce makes it on time au

The Ties That Bind  |  The pit restores Jason's body but not his mind, Ra's makes him one of his assassins and Talia adopts him as her own.

death’s outlet song of life* | the gordons find jason before the events of lost days

reflections on shattered mirrors.* | talia & jason stuff

Come Alive* | young justice s3 based

A Path Upon The Ground* | au from lost days, eddie and jason meet again

ARKHAM VERSE

If He Had Come & the sequel  Desiderium | au where bruce rescued jason before he could become the arkham knight.

the roads we know

this gun needs no bullets

JASON & BRUCE CENTRIC (not romantic)

Quack | this one is so crackish but so so cute i love it, robin jason

If He Had Come & sequel Desiderium  | arkham knight verse and its so good and has a lot of bruce & jason feels

Neverland /  Keep Lying To Me | deaged/ little jason from another universe.. sad and cute

Icarus and Bubble Gum | fluff, robin jason

Knock On Death’s Door | bit of both but not so so so angst, red hood jason

dead and dying things | au

In Memoriam | angst, trying to fix their relationship, red hood jason

If the Fates Allow | angst, red hood jason

The D-Word | fluff kind of.. red hood jason

This Place We Built With Grace and Guilt | angst angst angst, red hood jason

I Love You | robin jason, fluff

Wayward Birds | fluff and angst, robin jason

yesterday’s gone, yeah it went away (i’ve been lost but i’m here today) | another trying to fix their relationship fic, its cute and sad

We’re not in Crime Alley Anymore | au where jason was younger when bruce took him (and he didnt become robin)

Little Absences | sad, robin & red hood

Schrödinger's Honest Man | sad, drugs tw, absolute fave

White Christmas | bruce & robin!jason

Frozen History | de-age

Stargazer | jason n bruce patching their relationship.. its iconic

Unconventional Family Reunions | bvs setting

Prompt: Trapped | mind the warnings

Safe In My Arms 

The Failures of Reverse Engineering  | ghhm not really bruce & jason maybe?

to death's other kingdom I will not go | bruce saves jason au

points of impact  | glass case get fucked

is it my fault? (we've been missing each other)*

waiting for you. *

The Little Things*

World's Finest* | my uwus my uwus have fallen everywhere

JAYKYLE (all iconic)

In Which Kyle Confesses The Same Thing Six Times

milk and honey

Batman vs Space Bureaucracy

deadlock

attention to detail

tempest in a teapot

violet tendencies

no love, no glory (no hero in his skies)

keep the door open for me

waffles and war 

The Art of Subtlety (jason lives au)

Perhaps The World Ends Here | marvel crossover, future jaykyle

Riding in Batcars with Boys

boy, you fill my lungs with sweetness

no chance, no way, i won't say it (no, no)  

a change in the atmosphere

invitation to commitment

Overexposed 

i deserve that, don't i, some sort of blazing love that i can live with 

i won't say 

The water is always warmest at dawn

JAYROY (all iconic too)

sleepless 

Countdown

just go (wings au)

Unspoken

(for thy love is) better than wine (E)

Rooftops

Dick Wolf is a Really Funny Name

A headache isn’t always a bad thing

sad eyes, bad guys, mouth full of white lies [high school au]

kairosclerosis 

The Night They Met 

march down an empty street (like a ship into the storm) *

Archange de la mort (rallume ton flambeau) * | hic warning lol

this time, the loser wins | steph & jason centric though

So Baby Come Light Me Up *

Little Talks *

All the light is never ending, much like you and I; *

Don't let me go, for I feel I may fall * | soulmates au

Something Reckless * 

OTHERS

how to make a home. * | some eddie/jason if you squint, rose/eddie/jason team up

This Car Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us* | could be read as jayconnor :3

Robin/young!Jason

The Art of Subtlety | jason lives au, jaykyle

Little Absences | sad, robin & red hood

I Love You | robin jason, fluff

Wayward Birds | fluff and angst, robin jason

Icarus and Bubble Gum | fluff, robin jason

Quack | this one is so crackish but so so cute i love it, robin jason

we were not tragedies | jason & babs, read warnings

Heavy Home | gen, alfred & jason

Good News (No One Mourns the Wicked) | Jason & steph & damian. harold they’re dead (kinda robin!jason??)

Love Yourself (So No One Has To) | good amazing au with some selina & jason (not really.. robin but it starts as robin!jason i guess?)

Moment Between | ghost jason & ghost martha and thomas wayne

We’re not in Crime Alley Anymore | au where jason was younger when bruce took him (and he didnt become robin)

Tired &  Laundry | kinda au, read tw!

Smoke | jason & jim gordon

White Christmas | bruce & robin!jason

is it my fault? (we've been missing each other)* | mix of present and past jason

Sidekick* 

waiting for you.* | technically baby jason

The Little Things*

World's Finest* | oh this one.. my uwus

GEN

hold on to what  we are, hold on to your heart | gen, Barbara & Jason friendship. Some dinahbabs & jayroy

gotta give the boy points | gen, absolute fave

Strangers in Nothing but Name | marvel crossover, side steve/bucky

If He Had Come |  Desiderium | Arkham Verse, gen

I can’t  think up a good  name for this | young justice verse, gen apart from canon relationships

A Better Thesis | gen, p short but i loved it

The  F-Word | gen, batboys being batboys

until i’m in my grave | gen, wip 

Robins United | gen, batkids bonding, except for cass, thats my only complaint

Free of Dogma | gen, canon divergence, marvel crossover w Jason & Bucky

bad boys bad boys (whatcha gonna dooo) ♫ | au where damian is jasons robin and not dick’s, obviously damian & jason brotp. 

Heavy Home | gen, alfred & jason

In the  Shadow of Two Gunmen | gen, Marvel crossover

Flicker from View | side Barbara/Dick, young justice verse

I Love You | gen, Bruce & Jason

how to  hide a stray resurrected superhero from your parents/parental figure | au, jason & tim friendship kinda

One For The Road | Jason/Roy/Koriand’r but its SO cute

Baby,  It’s Cold Outside | gen, Dick & Jason

The  (Family) Doctor’s  Appointment | gen, batboys bonding

The Family (or how Jason Todd was adopted by the Avengers) | marvel crossover, gen

Reason | wip, gen, canon divergence

Soliloquy | gen, tim & Jason brotp,  and really cute batfam moments

Red As The Shadow Of Death | gen, young justice/under the red hood verse

Give Yourself a Chance | gen, duke & Jason & leslie brotpish

homecoming | outlaws brotp fic, could be considered shippy if you want to

And I Said What About Breakfast at Tiffany’s | jason & steph

Of Bats and the Forsaken | jason & all the batkids, side steph/cass and jay/roy if you squint

this is a long drive (for three robins who don’t agree on much) | no capes au, steph & jason & damian, background tim/tam

The Dying of the Light | marvel crossover, bucky & jason, canon divergence

Cat | selina &  jason, catlad au

Killing for Love | cass & jason, au  where jason was lady shivas son  

Keep Lying To Me | de-aged au, just heartbreaking imo, cursed fic

The Social Habits of Robin | gen, batboys. Where_is_cass.jpg tho

Steph and Jay’s Excellent Adventures | series, Steph & Jason

Neverland | jason & batkids, young!jay travels to the future. sad asad sad

on a thin chain of moments and something like faith | gen, jason & cass & steph mostly. really good

Good News (No One Mourns the Wicked) | Jason & steph & damian. harold they’re dead

In a Parallel Life | batboys focused, it has amazing dialogue, dynamics, and characterization. It’s only missing Cass and the rest of the girls.

repairing the world | series, not everything is about the batfam.

Born to Run (Born to Rise) | Jason & Talia having a mother/son relationship reblog if you agree

Live to Rise | it updated again p recently so yay! young justice verse

To Save a Dying City  | jason + other people

Let’s Have Some Fun This Beat Is Sick | mostly damian centric

Movie Night: The Mummy  | read trigger warnings, batboys

The Trading Chain  | not jason centric, but it has cass being older than jason and calling him “little brother” so noice

we sure know how to run free  | jason & cass

Yesterday’s Voices | bruce loses his memory au

Nests and Cages series | read trigger warnings

Roots | barbara centric, really good plot and characterization

Love Yourself (So No One Has To) | good amazing au with selina & jason

Retrograde Motion | de aged jason au

Provenance | mostly roy centric, bruce fucks oliver’s life for what he did to roy. iconic

Schrödinger's Honest Man | sad, drugs tw, absolute fave 

Batten Down the Hatches | a few different aus here. young justice + helena wayne

My Brother's Keeper | jason & damian knew each other from before + damian arrives to gotham just for jason

White Christmas | bruce & robin!jason

until i'm in my grave v2 | this one is already mentioned in this post BUUUT the writer started rewriting it so!

Frozen History | de-age

Stargazer | jason n bruce patching their relationship.. its iconic

show me yesterday, for i can’t find today | time travel au

Warm Enough | alfred & jay fluff

Parallels | mia & jason team up

Legacy | reverse robins, not jason centric but hes there alright.. i think.. i cant remember :D

What are the words I'm forbidden to say?* | damian & jay fluff

Cracked Foundation| jason n damian

Cat's Cradle  | more jason n damian

spaces in between  | damian & jason again

When the lights go out  | damian & jason, theres a pattern here

in my head, i do everything right | some jason & steph

is it my fault? (we've been missing each other)* | past & future jason

life, if well lived* | jason travels back in time and meets martha & thomas wayne

In Charge * | babie jason

Pyrrhic victory* | jason & damian stuff

Twists and Turns* | more jason & damian bonding

Of Brothers and Batcows* | guess what.. yes! more jason & damian

This Car Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us* | jason & connor.. say no more!

First Gear* | back to jason & damian please read this.. damian tries to teach jason to drive

changing, falling, fading (please watch over me)* | jason bonds with damian & steph

ANGST

Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death [read the trigger warnings!!]

in the repairing the world series there are a lot of fics dealing with jason, tho Warm Enough ugh not all are centered around him. I would say read  Escalation | Coup de Grâce |  Interlude for the rh!jason arc, and  Tired &  Laundry for robin!jason. [also read trigger warnings]

Countdown | jason/roy]

those six days [trigger warnings again!!!]

Call | angst

the tune without the words  | kind of character study from jim gordon’s pov

Unspoken | jason/roy, really angsty if you remember how red hood arsenal ended

If He Had Come & Desiderium | arkham knight verse, read trigger warnings!

Reason | on hiatus :/

hold on to what we are, hold on to your heart   | this is my favorite ever.. read trigger warnings

Heavy Home | alfred & jason

until i’m in my grave [trigger warnings!]

Keeping Broken Pieces Together

Monsters | marvel crossover

gotta give the boy points | this one please!!!! another fav. read trigger warnings

The weight of it [trigger warnings!]

Live to Rise | young justice verse

Neverland | THIS ONE IS PURE ANGST!!! please its so sad..

Keep Lying To Me | this one has some angsty scenes too im sad emoji

hangman is coming down from the gallows  | some angst

Movie Night: The Mummy  | read trigger warnings, batboys

Love Yourself (So No One Has To)

All in the Blood [read trigger warnings]

Little Absences

Stargazer | jason n bruce patching their relationship.. its iconic

Rebirth * | mind the warnings and its really. sad.

The Failures of Reverse Engineering *

Eternal Soliloquy * | sad sad

throw me a lifeline (I might even catch it) *

changing, falling, fading (please watch over me) * | jason & steph & dami angst

[quiddy-writes]

Fifty Shades of Fucked Up

So, this is what happens when @kayteonline , @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid , and I have a group chat. And then Kayte sends me this. What was I supposed to do?! @saxxxology is sad that she wasn't in the group chat, but she was in England without us, so fuck her.

Fandom: Supernatural Pairing: AU!Dean x Reader Words: 960ish Summary: Dean Winchester has some very singular kinks Warnings: Swearing; hardcore kinkshaming; making a lot of fun of 50 Shades of Grey because I hate it; cum shampoo (mentioned); one character talking frankly about their sexual kinks and it going just…oh goodness, awesome for everyone involved

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Dean Winchester was the most eligible bachelor in the entire world. One of the richest men on the planet, regularly topping Forbes’ Top 100 Most Influential People, and unfairly gorgeous to boot, any woman in her right mind would be at the very least moist if he was within sight.

Even Y/N was not immune.

When she’d fallen face first into his office for an interview like she was a damsel in a terrible romance novel, her panties were ruined. Then he began answering her terrible questions, and he actually seemed to be flirting with her.

She was an average-looking English student who, for some reason, didn’t understand how early twenty-somethings worked, almost like she was written by a housewife who still called it “The Facebook.”

With almost no real personality and looking more like a mouse than a human, why on earth would Dean fucking Winchester be interested in her?

It made absolutely no sense.

But, here they were, in his stupidly amazing loft, furiously making out. He had her pinned against the wall, using every glorious inch of his broad, toned body to hold her down. She couldn't escape even if she tried and, though that should've terrified her because he was definitely a sociopath, it instead went right to her panties. She had to press her thighs together to alleviate some of the burning desire curling up inside her.

His plush lips kissed and nipped at every inch of skin he found, going from her lips to her jaw to her neck and ever downwards. She tugged at his tie, snatching it from his neck.

That seemed to snap him out of his reverie, and he pulled back just enough to remain close to her, but far enough that she couldn’t recapture his lips with her own. “Wait,” he said breathlessly.

“Why?” she whimpered.

“There’s something you should know about me.”

Immediately, her thoughts went to the worst place. “Oh god, you have herpes, don’t you?”

“What?” he frowned, his perfect face marred by his confusion. “No, I’m clean. I’m not—I always use protection.”

“Oh, okay. Good. Awesome.”

“No,” he started again. “My desires are…unconventional.”

“So show me,” Y/N whispered.

With that, Dean took her hand and led him down the halls of his loft. He didn’t stop until they reached the end of the hall, turning his deep emerald eyes to her, as though he wasn’t sure she was still following him. She responded by squeezing his hand, lightly. She even smiled softly, like she was trying to comfort him, though she was nervous as all hell herself at the moment.

He pushed the door open slowly, revealing the master bedroom. It was gorgeous, full of modern furniture swatched in shades of grey. She was pulled past the bed towards a non-descript, slightly open white door on the other end of the large room.

He opened it to reveal a lavish bathroom, with a luxury glass shower and even a bath tub with jets inside it. Y/N melted just at looking the gorgeous room.

Dean finally pulled her to the shower, only letting go of her hand once they were at the door. He leaned in, grabbing a plain bottle from the bottom of the shower. She frowned, taking the bottle when it was handed to her, but mostly just looking as confused as she felt. “What is this?”

“It’s a shampoo bottle.”

There was a pause as she tried to figure out what the hidden meaning was. “Okay…”

She refused to look at him, but she could feel his gaze practically burning through her hand where she held the bottle. “I like to have sex, then finish in the girl’s hair. Then I have to watch her use my cum as shampoo.”

The sentence had barely left his lips before Y/N was at the toilet, vomiting up every single thing she’d ever eaten in her entire life. She was pretty sure she saw her ninth birthday cake make an appearance.

Dean waited by the shower as she vomited, shifting his feet awkwardly.

When Y/N finally was done worshipping the porcelain God, she turned to Dean.

“That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s just��”

“No, no!” she shouted. “Don’t say it, I’ll throw up again.”

“I really think you’re acting childish.”

“And I think you’re a sick fuck,” she retorted, pushing herself up on wobbly knees. “I am so out of here.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, no way are you hot enough for this shit.”

“I’m handsome, I’m rich, and—”

“And a sick fuck,” she breezed right past him.

Dean sputtered for a moment, unsure how exactly this was happening to him. After a beat of silence, he ran after her, chasing her to his combination front door/elevator.

She was inside, viciously attacking the lobby button, and he barely made it in time.

“Please,” he began, looking like a kicked puppy. “Please don’t go.”

“No,” she shook her head almost violently. “No, you are not rich or hot or anything enough for-for…God, you’re a pervert.”

“I really don’t—it’s really not that bad.”

“‘Not that bad?!’” Y/N screeched loud enough to almost break the glass wall that gave a spectacular view of the city below them. “You want me to wash—and I use that term very loosely—my hair in your semen?!”

“Well, you have to understand, my mother—”

“No, just because something shitty happened to you doesn’t mean you get to be a sick fuck,” Y/N cut him off. “So, you know, thanks, but, also, maybe go fuck yourself.”

With that, the doors to the elevator closed, leaving Dean Winchester with one last image of the girl who got away: Y/N trying not to vomit in the elevator.

Everything Tags: @carrollmomx3 @raylin19 @spnhybrid @thinkwritexpress-official @wayward-marvel-and-more @writingbeautifulmen @xfanqirlinq

Dean Tags: @akshi8278 @gallxntdean @loveissupernatural

Pond Tags: @aprofoundbondwithdean @manawhaat @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @nichelle-my-belle @notnaturalanahi @bkwrm523 @salvachester @whispersandwhiskerburn @roxy-davenport @impala-dreamer @deathtonormalcy56 @samsgoddess @frenchybell @scorpiongirl1 @for-the-love-of-dean @mysupernaturalfics @spn-fan-girl-173 @deandoesthingstome @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @fiveleaf @deansleather @curliesallovertheplace @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @waywardjoy @imadeangirl-butimsamcurious @supernatural-jackles @wevegotworktodo @ilovedean-spn2 @babypieandwhiskey @wi-deangirl77 @deantbh @supermoonpanda @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @chaos-and-the-calm67 @memariana91 @plaidstiel-wormstache @teamfreewill-imagine @chelsea-winchester @fandommaniacx @revwinchester @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @castieltrash1 @supernaturalyobessed @ohwritever @ruined-by-destiel @inmysparetime0 @winchester-writes @deals-with-demons @maraisabellegrey @faith-in-dean @winchestersmolder @bennyyh @clueless-gold @deanwinchesterxreader @melbelle45 @winchester-family-business

@mrswhozeewhatsis Tags: @vintagevalentinexx @bowtiesandapplepie @itsemmyb @ezauraemmaline @matteson-crazed @castielspahdehrah @charliesbackbitches @crzcorgi @ellen-reincarnated1967 @gryffindorable713 @deerlululucy @walkingencyclopediaoffandom @MrsJohnSmith @growleytria @thegleegeneration @samtomydeanwinchester @i-never-said-a-pilot @thewinchestielboys @sis-tafics @amaranthinecastiel @meganwinchester1999 @kittenofdoomage @samanddeanwinchester67 @prettyxwickedxthings @ferferelli @lilyoflothlorien @myfand0msandm0re @olitzisbae @iridianuniverse @the-morning-star-falls @shortandlongstories @strange-inhumanity @ackleslaugh @noisilyyoungpuppy @fangirling-instead-of-working @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @chrisatplay @spnsimpleman @kreborn17 @mamaimpala @winchesterfiesta @zanthiasplace @sleep-silent-angel @gadreelsforbiddenfruit @trenchcoats-and-bees @jencharlan @not-so-natural-spn @skybinx-blog @thebunkerismyhome @feelmyroarrrr @beachy2014 @fandom-book-nerd @tia58 @sams-little-toy @faegal04 @sunriserose1023 @saving-things-hunting-family @winchesterswoonathon @jotink78 @lucifer-in-leather @i-dont-know-how-to-write @everyday-supernatural-af @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave @avasmommy224 @angelwingsandsupernaturalthings @mysaintsasinner @besslincoln-bruh @wheresthekillswitch @shelovesallthethings @klaineaholic @supernaturalismalife @pinknerdpanda @hexparker @atwistoffate

[faithfulnews]

Thanksgiving from the Upside Down . . . and Stuffing

Today I am preparing a message for New Day Community Church in Stockton that has a special Thanksgiving Day Service tomorrow, followed by a Thanksgiving meal, and I have been invited to speak. I am not sure if I am more excited about talking during the service or presenting my Thanksgiving stuffing at the meal. And since I am preparing both at the same time, I thought I would add notes on both. Besides, my chef daughter Elizabeth asked me yesterday for my stuffing recipe so now is a good time to share my thoughts on my stuffing and also my message which deals with a spirit of thanksgiving when things go wrong, go upside down, as they did for me last year when I lost my wife of 29 years to malaria in Africa.

First of all, the stuffing. It’s different for me every year and I don’t have exact measurements but I can tell you that the first thing I do is roast a chicken. This gives me the stock I need to add the right taste long before the turkey turns up. And I put the heart/liver/neck etc in a pot and boil it for 20 mins to get even more stock which gives taste and moisture.

And since I am roasting a chicken, I might as well roast a few potatoes also.  I will get a separate meal out of this – roast chicken and potatoes for my family, but no gravy because all the juice and stock will go into the stuffing.

The big players for the stuffing are celery, onion, and meat. I sautée each one separately in butter and throw them into a large bowl. I usually do bacon and mushrooms but don’t have any right now. And my kids hate mushrooms so I am used to not cooking them, but I totally recommend them.  For the meat, I like to mix it up with bacon and different minces, pork is good. I have used some rabbit before for a more gamey taste. But today is beef because its all I have.

The other big player, apart from croutons (which I will talk about in a minute) is parsley. I used a big bunch of it, cut roughly but not chunky. And rosemary needs to be present – thyme might suffice – but rosemary is a necessity. I had to sneak into my neighbor’s yard to steal some but I told them 6 months ago I would do this on occasion and they were cool with that.

But what about that message. Ah yes. The text is Ephesians 5.

8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth)10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. 14 This is why it is said:

“Wake up, sleeper,     rise from the dead,     and Christ will shine on you.”

15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Paul borrows here from Isaiah 60:1 but takes a little license in adding his own spin. I want to do the same thing with this passage. Most people read it in a prescriptive way – a list of do’s and dont’s, which is fine. Giving thanks is a command. Yes. An argument can be made for that and I could make it also. But there is a deeper layer here that I see as descriptive – a pattern, a journey, a teaching on not only what to do, but what happens when you do that. And this is what I want to share tomorrow.

It goes like this.

As you step into the light and embrace God (does that sound too SHIRLEY MACLAINE for church? HA HA) and as you are embraced by God (oooh ok this is WAAAY TOOO SHIRLEY), something will happen to your mind and your heart

Your mind

You will gain perspective, you will be illuminated, enlightened. You will understand what God is up to and you will speak out on behalf of that truth. This will affect your life – you will recalibrate your life, your actions, your habits to align with what you know of God and what he is doing. What is good, what is right, what is true. This will be your new default setting.

Your heart

God will put a song in your heart. That song will play even through the most difficult circumstances. You will have a soundtrack, and its called “thanksgiving” and that will spill out into encouragement to others. Thanksgiving will also become a new default setting. Just like a drunk person is controlled by alcohol, you will be consumed with and controlled by God’s Spirit. This will change your demeanor, alter your posture, define the way you hold yourself and the way you relate to other people. You will be a person characterized by thanksgiving and not a person who bickers, judges, fights, complains or sees life as half empty.  This god-filled-ness will also spill out into other relationships including the way you relate to others, as one who uses your song to encourage and uplift others who need to hear, and as you relate to your spouse and your children and parents – you will be someone who easily surrenders and submits and finds common ground, seeking unity, rather than fighting for or defending your ego.

OHHHH I just took the potatoes out of the oven. They are lovely and crispy. Nothing to do with the stuffing but this will be a great compliment to the roast chicken tonight.

Speaking of the stuffing, I spruced mine up with lemon juice, sauteed garlic, and raisins. I usually add orange zest, and to be honest it really needs it, but don’t have any oranges today.

For the liquid, which is really important because you don’t want your stuffing dry, I added orange juice, white wine, stock from the liver/heart, and stock/juices from the chicken itself. Melted butter also works and I waited until the very end until pouring some all over the top and over the cranberries so they would turn golden brown and not burn.

This is really lame. I spelled the word “THANK-FUL” with the cranberries. You can’t even read it. You need to ask for the gift of interpretation to even see it. But thats OK. I know it’s there and its a teaching embedded into the stuffing that will impact people, even subconsciously, but the most important thing is that it has meaning for me.

Oh yes, those croutons. I took the rest of our bread, cut it up into cubes, and baked it in the oven until it was firm and a little brown. They need to be robust enough to handle the liquid. And I added herbs – whatever I had. Sage is awesome. Thyme is marvellous. I had neither, but, as I say, I used what I had. I also ran short on bread so I scraped off the pizza toppings from the pizza I made last night, cut up the bases and threw them in also. OHH and speaking of leftovers, I only ate half of that amazing Cubano sandwich from Cuban Kitchen in San Mateo yesterday so the ham and pork was also cut up and added to the stuffing. HA!!!!!

Back to my message.

This is my story

Last year I lost my wife. She died of malaria and other diseases. It was the darkest time of my life. I couldn’t sleep alone in a bedroom. I couldn’t make decisions. I lost the other half of myself and after 29 years of oneness with a single person, that is pretty much most of my life and certainly the life I was used to. On top of that I was really sick for a really long time, surviving the diseases that took my wife but basically unable to function for many many months.

And yet, throughout the entire time, I felt God’s presence in a calming way, knowing deep in my heart that He is good, He is faithful, He is patient, He is caring and He will look after me. He knows whats up and that spirit of thanksgiving that permeated my mind and heart was not a drummed up motion of obedience but rather the overflow of truth, of what was real.

Some people think God is distant and occasionally invades earth to bring disaster or tragedy. I see God as near, intimately connected to us and everything else, constantly enlivening and sustaining His creation, always standing guard and protecting us, and yet occasionally and empathetically removing his hand when He knows the time is right.

This is my song

The name of my song was thanksgiving. It was there all the way through the devastating process of losing my wife and explaining to my youngest daughter that she no longer had a mother. I am not being chirpy here. I am not being naive or brainlessly religious. Yes IT HURT. IT HURT MORE THAN ANYTHING IN MY LIFE and I was hurled into the Upside Down world of darkness, solitude, confusion, fear, GRIEF, emotional pain, and loss of hope for the future. I was BROKEN, plunged into grayness, emptied of life, emptied of hope. I am not reducing that reality or downplaying the significance of what happened to me. I am just saying that there was a soundtrack playing the entire time, a song of thanksgiving. And at my best moments, my grief gave birth to gratefulness.

I am still thankful.

I am thankful for so many good friends.

I am thankful for 29 years of marriage to the most wonderful woman on the planet.

I am thankful that I got to say everything to my wife before she went.

I am thankful that my wife got to finish her race and go out in the way she always imagined, in the country she loved.

I am thankful that my daughter was spared from disease and that I have 5 wonderful kids.

I am thankful for a softer heart and new wave of consideration for others. I am a different person  – more in tune with suffering and more empathetic to those who are going through loss.

I am thankful for the next season that is coming upon me and that I have the freedom to enter in. 

This is my dance

Grief has become my friend and my reminder of a wonderful life with a wonderful woman. My grief is warmer now than it was last year. My grief and the grieving process I have embraced has allowed me to push forward into new levels of understanding and awareness. That has given me a softer heart, as I said, and it has also positioned me to be of help to others who are also grieving. God comforts us so that we can comfort others.

When you lose someone, a lot of other people, more than you can imagine, also lose someone. Grief is a shared experience. Our friends feel the pain of our loss but they also struggle with their own loss. They find it awkward to talk to us about it. But the healing we experience is for them also.

A few months ago one of my wife’s best friends lost her husband. This is what I told her.

It’s a strange dance this grief of ours. We hold our own sadness and allow the processing to continue thru it’s various stages, knowing it moves forward step by step, finding firmer hold with each telling of the story, with each new person entering into the story and at the same time we become priests for others who find it awkward to enter, but know that they need to. We hold the keys for them. We give permission. We invite them into the dance and make it easy for them, we suggest, we put their words out in front of them, we show the appropriateness of the conversation, the shared hurt of loss, the rightful pace and flow of what needs to be said. Being closer to the pain and further along in the process, we hold out our leading hand and invite others into the dance, into the spiral of healing.

My hope tomorrow, at the church, is that other people who have experienced loss, whether the loss of parents or children or spouses, divorce (which can be far more devastating than the loss of  a spouse), the loss of dreams, whatever it is they have lost, that they might enter into that spiral of healing, and find themselves in that dance, with God, where the juxtaposition of pain and joy, of grief and thanksgiving, of tears and laughter, might come together to find healing, wholeness, hope, and a song of thanksgiving that will play on and on. Amen.

This is my stuffing

The stuffing is ready. Its not completely cooked with that attractive blackened burned look but I need to take it to Stockton tomorrow and they will heat it up right before the meal and I think it will come into its own at that moment. I might bring some parsley to freshen it up on location. If you look really carefully, you can almost see the word “THANK-FUL”. Almost.

  Go to the article

[themcuhasruinedme]

Langs-and-Treats

[Summary]: You and Scott take Cassie out for a fun night of trick-or-treating and is filled with shenanigans when the three of you get back home.

[Pairing]: Scott x reader

[Warning]: Tooth-rotting Scott fluff no one knew they needed...

Tagging: @theashhole @dividedwecantfall @buckysmetallicstump @rotisserierogers @avengerofyourheart @nataliarxmanxva @metalarmproblems @marvelingatthewonder @mcuimxgine @capsbuchanan @imagine-assembling-the-avengers @that-sokovian-bastard @hellomissmabel @abovethesmokestacks @peculiar-persephone @bellameys @hymnofthevalkyrie @after-avenging-hours @buckys-shield  @callamint @redgillan @tragicalchemist @marvelous-fvcks @professionally-crazed @thetalesofmooseandsquirrel @fanfic-shiz @i-dont-know-how-to-write @iwillbeinmynest @theassetseyeliner @lilasiannerd @aubzylynn @viollettes @sgtbxckybxrnes @marvelatthepeople @iamwarrenspeace @marvelrevival @pufflethehuff @alwayshave-faith @magnitude101999 @blossombarnes @httpmcrvel

A/N: Happy Halloween, everybody! I originally planned this to be about an Avengers Halloween party but ideas changed and thought it would be even cuter with Cassie instead. Feedback is appreciated!

Halloween was quickly approaching and the little two bedroom home that you and Scott lived in definitely showed it. Colors of fall scattered throughout and smells of cinnamon spice, crisp apples and the fireplace filled every inch of the place.

You had a day off from work and decided to start the holiday baking. Putting on your oven mitt, you pulled out a cookie sheet of peanut butter cookies placing it on top of the oven just as Scott and Cassie walked in.

“[Y/N]!” Cassie yelled. A big smile appeared on your face and you kneeled down as she ran to hug you.

“Mmm, smells good in here [Y/N],” Scott said as he entered the kitchen after Cassie. He tried to get a cookie but you smacked his hand which made Cassie giggle. “Ow,” he complained and made a pouty face.

“Oh, don't be a baby,” you said and started placing them on the cooling rack. “These are for after dinner.”

“C’mon, just one? You know how much I love your baking,” Scott whispered seductively, wrapping his arms around your waist and nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck.

“Scott! Not now... Cassie’s here,” you said under your breath.

“Fine,” he said, huffing into his bangs. He went over by Cassie who was sitting at the counter, pulling out her homework assignment.

“So,” you said turning around to look at her. “Who’s ready for trick-or-treating next week?” Cassie’s hand shot up as did Scott’s. “Really, Scott? You’re a given.” 

Cassie giggled and continued working on her homework until dinner was ready, which was Chinese take-out mixed with lots of laughing. After that, Maggie came to pick her up which was always an awkward situation for you but you always tried to make the best of it.

“Mommy, daddy and [Y/N] are gonna take me trick-or-treating,” Cassie said with a front-toothless grin as she was packing her backpack.

“I know. Your dad asked me a few days ago. We’ll go to the store this weekend so we can get your costume.”

After the two of them left, it gave time for you and Scott to do some “business” in the bedroom.

Halloween finally came and the two of you were excited about getting to spend it with Cassie. And Maggie was even allowing her to spend the night, which was a guarantee for even more fun. 

Cassie didn't tell you guys what costume she picked because she wanted it to be a surprise. You decided to dress up as Minnie Mouse. And you couldn't help but laugh when Scott came out of the bathroom wearing his costume.

He looked like he dropped right out of the 70′s, right down to rings on his fingers and gold chain necklace.

“Nice costume, babe,” you said, stifling your laughter. “The look suits you.”

“Think so?”

You nodded, still trying to hold back a giggle. And even though you found it hilarious, you had to admit it really did look good on him. You couldn't help but think that’s what Scott would've looked like had he been around during that time.

The doorbell rang and you went to answer it, seeing only Maggie holding Cassie’s candy bucket. Maggie pointed behind her and you peeked around, seeing Cassie hiding behind her. She jumped out, saying “Surprise!” as Scott came over to the door too.

You had the biggest smile on your face seeing Cassie’s costume: a red sleeveless top with a ‘W’ emblem on it, a blue skirt dotted with stars, red and white stripped boots, silver wrist cuffs, a gold tiara and a yellow piece of rope attached to her hip.

“Oh my goodness, Cassie! Wonder Woman is a great choice!” She smiled at you and gave you a big hug.

After Maggie left, you helped Cassie bring her stuff to her room.

“We’re gonna have so much fun tonight,” you told her with a smile. “We’ll go trick-or-treating first and then when we come back, we have so much fun stuff planned out.”

The night couldn't have gone any better. Cassie got so much candy and was complimented a lot on her costume. When the three of you got back home, it was dinner and then a night of fun and mostly no sleep.

First, it was building a fort in the living room and watching several of Cassie’s favorite movies. But after that, the plans went out the door and everything was pretty much improvised because a pillow fight broke out after Scott wouldn't stop talking through one of the movies and you threw a pillow at him which caused him to throw it back.

After all three of you ended up on the floor in a massive giggling fit, Scott had Cassie get on his back and ride on him like a horse, trying to somewhat chase you through the house.

Cassie decided it would be fun to play hide-n-seek and for the next hour she couldn't find the two of you because you guys were constantly moving around the house, finding new spots to hide in. When she finally found you two, it turned into a game of tag and lasted till the three of you couldn't stop laughing so much. And also because Cassie was starting to get sleepy.

You looked at the clock and knew why; it was already one in the morning. The three of you sat back down on the couch to settle down and watch some tv, with Cassie in between you and Scott. Within minutes, her eyes closed and her head fell into your lap.

You looked down at the sleeping child and smiled, slowly running your fingers through her hair. Scott looked over at this and smiled at you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. You looked back at him still smiling and then again at Cassie. You placed your head on his shoulder and snuggled a bit closer to Scott.

“Tonight was great, wasn't it?” you asked him.

He nodded and placed a kiss on your temple. “It was. I got to spend it with my two favorite girls.”

You smiled at him and kissed his cheek. It really was a Halloween night to remember.

[themcuhasruinedme]

While You Were Sleeping (Pt. 2)

[Summary]: After saving the man you have a secret crush on, your life gets turned upside down when the nurse at the hospital mistakenly assumes you’re his fiancee. His family believes it and accepts you into the family immediately, yet you can't bring yourself to tell the truth because of now having a big, loving family that you’ve never had. Things get even more complicated when you start to have feelings for his younger brother. Will you be able to finally say the truth and admit your feelings to the younger brother?

[Pairing]: Scott x reader (Tony is one of the other characters in the film but all the family and the man you’re secretly crushing on is THE EXACT SAME FROM THE FILM! Except Scott who is the younger brother)

[Word Count]: 5,846

[Warning]: One bad word... but it’s quite hilarious how it’s used..

Tagging: @marvel-ash @dividedwecantfall @buckysmetallicstump @rotisserierogers @avengerofyourheart @nataliarxmanxva @metalarmproblems @marvelingatthewonder @mcuimxgine @capsbuchanan @imagine-assembling-the-avengers @that-sokovian-bastard @hellomissmabel @abovethesmokestacks @maybe-mikala @bellameys @hymnofthevalkyrie @after-avenging-hours @buckys-shield @callamint @redgillan @tragicalchemist @marvelous-fvcks @professionally-crazed @thetalesofmooseandsquirrel @fanfic-shiz @i-dont-know-how-to-write @iwillbeinmynest @theassetseyeliner @lilasiannerd @aubzylynn @viollettes @sgtbxckybxrnes @marvelatthepeople @raegan-darling @iamwarrenspeace @marvelrevival @pufflethehuff @alwayshave-faith @magnitude101999 @barnesvogue

A/N: This is for @sgtbxckybxrnes “Movie AU Writing Challenge”. I picked the movie: While You Were Sleeping. I love this movie a lot and was so happy when I saw it on the list. I changed a few things around but still kept most of it as close to the movie as. (including movie dialogue as well!) Feedback is greatly appreciated!

You two drove to Peter’s apartment in silence and when Scott pulled up to the building, he parked quite close to the car in front of him.

When you got out, you noticed this and said, “Um, I think you parked a bit to close to the other car.”

“I had to,” Scott said as he grabbed the handle to open the back of the truck. “We got to unload the furniture.” He paused a moment and smiled at you. “Ready for your surprise?”

He opened the back and your eyes immediately landed on a beautiful rocking chair. You couldn't help but fall in love with it.

“Oh, that is great,” you said. Scott helped you up into the truck and you were so mesmerized by it. “This is so great!”

“You like it?” Scott asked. You nodded. “To bad. Parents bought you the love seat,” he said, pointing to the small couch behind you.

You turned around, a bit embarrassed. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Don't be. I made this,” Scott responded, running his fingers across the back of the rocking chair.

“No way. You made this?”

He nodded. “Shocking, isn't it?”

“Can I sit in it?”

He let you and when you made the comment about him going into business, he explained to you about how that was going to be a tricky thing, with him being in his father’s business.

The two of you got the couch out and rolled it up to the door. You got it through and the doorman, who was one of the new guys, stopped Scott before he could get in and asked what apartment they were going to.

“57G,” Scott said.

“Well, I’m sorry sir but guests have to be announced,” the doorman said.

“Uh, well, I’m helping her. I’m with her,” he motioned towards you inside. You were moving the couch towards the stairs and knocked it into the wall making you fall over.

“So?” the doorman said.

“That’s Peter Callaghan’s fiancee,” Scott answered.

“Oh! So sorry, sir!” the doorman exclaimed and opened the door for Scott. “They told me about her, sir,” he told Scott before he went in. “She’s scary.”

“Tell me about it,” Scott said with a smirk.

The two of you got it up to the room and the couch got stuck in the doorway.

“I think it’s wedged,” you said, trying to assess the situation. 

“Why don't you step back a bit. I’m gonna try an old trick here.”

“What’s the trick?” you asked.

“Push it really hard,” Scott said.

You smiled and chuckled a bit and waited for Scott to push the couch. “Ok, you can push it.”

“I did.” Yet as you saw, the couch didn't even budge. Not even a centimeter.

“You want me to help you now?” you asked, a small smile still on your face.

“Yea, I guess that would be nice,” he answered.

You got a hold of your end of the couch and on “three”, the couch managed to move but damaged the door frame in the process which made you loose your grip and knock right into a vase that smashed on the floor.

Scott got in the room quick and looked at the dark blue water stain on the floor and said, “I think the couch should go right there.”

You chuckled a bit and the two of you slid the couch over the stain. When you guys walked out of the building, another car had parked right behind Scott’s truck blocking him in. 

“Well, goodnight,” you said and started to leave.

“You just gonna leave me here with the truck?” Scott asked.

“Uh, basically, yea.”

“Well, maybe I oughta walk you back.”

“What for?” you asked, a little curious.

“For protection.”

“Oh, no.. no, I’m fine,” you stammered.

“For me. I don't wanna be here by myself,” Scott said with a smile, which made you smile and nod your head towards the way you had to walk.

The two of you talked about your life and your dad and the things you remembered about him, the most important one being about how the two of you always talked about traveling.

“If there were one place in the world, where would you go?” Scott asked.

You didn't even need to think about your answer. Florence flew out of your mouth so fast.

“Ah, Italy,” he said. “Haven't delivered any furniture to Florence yet but I’ve been told it’s nice.” He paused a moment. “I take it you've never been there.”

“No, but I do have,” you started to say, digging through your purse. “My passport.” and pulled out your little passport booklet.

“You have your passport?!” Scott said, chuckling a bit. “That’s great.” 

“Yea, just in case I need to leave the country, ya know? I always have it on me.”

Scott started to flip through it and saw no stamps in it, mentioning it to you.

“Yea, well, I haven't gone anywhere yet. But, ya know, planning a trip to Florence really soon, so...”

The two of you continued to talk the rest of the way to your apartment, getting to know each other quite a bit. And when you guys finally got to your apartment, you were actually a bit sad that you had to go in, even though you didn't show it.

“Thank you, I had a good time,” you said, smiling at Scott.

“It’s kinda slippery here,” he said, looking down on the frozen iced sidewalk. “I’ll help ya over.”

He grabbed your hand and started to help you over but started to slip on the ice. You caught him and he stood back up. The two of you were laughing and you said, “Don't take me with you if you fall.”

“Don't worry. I won’t,” he said.

You then slipped and he caught you and pulled you up, your faces inches away from each other. Both of you glanced at each other’s lips and Scott steadied you a bit better. He let go of one of your arms so you could walk but you both then slipped and went down. The both of you started laughing after hearing something tear, which happened to be Scott’s jeans.

“Here, give me your hand,” you said through your laughing and pulled Scott across the ice to the other side where you both stood up and brushed the snow off your clothes. Scott twisted his body to see how bad his pants were.

“Oh, man,” Scott said still laughing. “You got an extra pair of pants in your apartment?”

“If you fit into my pants, I would kill myself.”

He walked you to your door and you said your goodbyes.

“I’ll see you when I see you, then?” you asked.

He nodded and you smiled, going into your apartment building. When you got in and started going up the stairs to your place, Tony saw you and said “Ok, [Y/N], it’s either me or him.”

You didn't even need to think about what you were going to say. “Him,” you answered as you kept walking up the stairs.

Tony stood there, dumbstruck by your answer and was left a bit speechless. You got into your apartment and went over to the window, watching Scott leave while he tried to cover up the tear in his pants. You couldn't help but smile at this and at that moment you knew you were falling in love with him.

The next day you told your boss about the whole ordeal. “You have to tell me what to do.”

“Tell the truth,” he said.

“Ugh, you’re not helping. If I tell Scott that I lied to his family, he’ll never speak to me again. And Ox and Midge and Saul...”

“Saul? Who’s Saul?” he asked, very confused.

“Their next door neighbor. But ya know what? He already knows.” You paused a moment. “You have to tell me what to do.”

“Pull the plug, [Y/N],” he said with a serious look on his face.

Later that night Scott was visiting Peter, “playing” cards with him and trying to have some sort of conversation with him, even if Peter was still in his coma.

“You are unlucky at cards,” Scott said as he looked at both of their hands of cards and saw that his hand beat Peter’s. “But, lucky in love.”

Scott sighed. “You remember when we were in school and I started getting good at poker, coming home with a lot of lunch money and mom always said “Why can't you be more like your brother?”. Ya know what,” he chuckled a bit, “I was alright with that. I had no problems with that because I was proud of you. And I was never envious of anything that you had.” He paused a moment. “Until now.”

Scott put the deck of cards on the table. “I’ll cut the deck. High card gets [Y/N].” He cut the deck in the middle and held up the one half towards Peter and looked at his half, then looked at Peter’s half. “Alright. We’ll go best out of three.”

The next night, you spent it with the family and had a wonderful time. When you were about to leave, Scott opened the door for you and stood there a minute while everyone was saying their goodbyes, Mary said, “Hey look guys, you’re under the mistletoe!”

You and Scott looked up and sure enough, there was a sprig of mistletoe hanging above the door. The two of you looked a little embarrassed while everyone was saying for Scott to kiss you.

“C’mon idiot, kiss her,” Elsie said.

Scott leaned over and kissed you on the cheek. Everyone thought it was so cute and then you said your goodbyes again and walked out, Scott being the one to still stand by the door watching you leave.

The next day Mary and one of her friends visited your token booth to get on the train and you stopped to talk with them a sec. Your co-worker asked who they were and Mary answered saying that you were going to marry her brother, Peter. Your co-worker obviously freaked out about this. The train came and Mary and her friend had to leave, while your co-worker asked out loud if you were pregnant.

You sarcastically answered you were but Mary’s friend heard this before she walked out and thought it was true. She told Mary, who then told the family and Scott immediately went over to your place.

You were getting ready for a New Year’s Eve party and heard a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” you called out.

“Tony Jr.”

“Not here!” you yelled.

“I know that trick! My old man’s got a set of keys.”

“That’s illegal and you know it,” you said as you walked over to the door. You opened it to find Tony smiling, holding a pretty U-shaped display of white flowers.

“They’re beautiful. But I can't accept them.”

His smile disappeared. “I could move in here. I betcha pop would knock 50 bucks off the rent,” he started to stammer.

“I got six months left here.”

“You're just trying to make me feel better,” he said, a frown now appearing on his face. “It’s that other guy, isn't it?”

“What do you mean?” you asked, a small smile starting to form on your lips.

“I see the way you look at him. Like as if you’ve just seen your first Trans Am. Here,” Tony said, handing you the flowers. “You can lay them on my coffin.”

He turned to walk away but you stopped him and gave him a hug. “Thank you.” Little did the two of you know that Scott was at the bottom of the stairs and heard everything.

While Tony was hugging you, he asked, “Are you wearing the black bra?” which made you smack him in the back of the head hard and let go of him. “I love black underwear,” he said as you closed the door.

You walked out of your apartment building holding a bottle of wine and saw Scott standing outside his truck.

“Oh, Scott. What are you doing here?” you asked, quite surprised to see him.

“I, uh...” he started to stammer and noticing the wine he asked, “You’re going to a party?”

“Yea, my friend is having a party tonight.”

“Great. I’ll drive you,” he said and opened up the passenger door of the truck.

“Oh, no. It’s ok. It’s really not that far.”

“No, no. It’s ok,” he said and made you get in. “I move a lot of things with this truck.”

“So, is um, everything ok?” you asked as Scott drove to the house.

“Why? Why wouldn't it be ok?” he responded with a nervousness in his voice.

When you got to your friend’s house, you asked Scott why he was acting weird.

“No, not acting weird.”

“Yes you are,” you said.

Your friend was thrilled to see you and let you and Scott in, thinking he was your fiancee. Your boss was there and asked who that was and you tried to explain your situation as best you could without making yourself sound like a crazy person. But it was no use.

You got some of the punch and Scott came over by you and said, “That’s spiked.”

“Thank goodness.”

“But you shouldn't have any of that.”

“And why not?” you asked.

“Because it’s not good for the baby,” he said out loud, which made your friends all stare at you and made you feel like the ground should have just swallowed you up right then and there.

As you walked away from your friends place after having just been embarrassed by Scott in front of all of them, he tried to apologize to you but all you wanted to do was get back to your place before anything else happened.

“Would you slow down a minute?” he asked, catching up with you.

You stopped and turned around to look at him.

“Look, it was just a misunderstanding. And on top of the Tony Jr. thing...” he started to explain.

You gave him a very puzzled look. “Excuse me?”

“Uh, it’s nothing...”

“No, no, no. There’s no nothing now. What Tony Jr. thing?” you asked.

“The leaning thing.”

You were even more confused. “The leaning thing? Ok.. um. What do you mean by the leaning thing? Because he gave me flowers?”

“And then you leaned.”

“And then I leaned? Ok. How did I lean when I leaned?” you asked him.

“How were you leaning? Leaning’s a lot different than hugging. Hugging’s very different,” Scott started explaining and was moving closer to you. “Hugging that involves arms and hands and leaning is whole bodies moving in, like this.” At this point, he was very close to you, noses almost touching. “Leaning involves wanting... and accepting. Leaning is...” and he quickly glanced at your lips then back at your eyes.

“Hey, [Y/N]. Is this guy bothering you?” Tony Jr. asked, coming over from a party that was across the street.

“No... no. Everything’s fine.”

“Are you sure? Cause it looks like he’s... leaning.”

You snorted at this and Scott turned to thank Tony. You almost thought this somehow was some secret guy “code” that you weren't even aware of.

“I’ll be right over here if you need me,” Tony said, starting to walk back to the party.

“Ok. That you,” you answered.

Pointing to Scott, Tony then added, “I know karate.”

You both watched Tony walk away and then you asked Scott, “So what about the other thing?”

“The other misunderstanding?” Scott asked.

“Yea. Why did you think I was pregnant?”

“Well, I heard Mary say something about it.”

“And you believed her?” you asked.

“I had no reason not to.”

“So, the only reason your brother would want to marry someone like me is if I was pregnant, right?”

Scott shook his head. “No, no. Of course not.”

At this point, you said goodnight to him and started to make your way to the door of your apartment building while Scott tried to explain that you and Peter were a good couple but it just wasn't obvious to the rest of the world.

You turned around and said to him, “Ya know what, Scott. I had a really lousy Christmas. You just managed to kill my New Year’s and if you come back on Easter, you can burn down my apartment.”

That’s where things got a bit heated between the two of you, especially when you brought up the fact that Scott hadn't said anything yet to his father about wanting to get out of the business and start his own. You got into your building and climbed up the stairs with Scott right on your heels.

“Yea, well I know that keeping your family happy is complicated. Would your father be happy knowing you’re sitting in a token booth and planning vacations that you aren't taking?”

You stopped in front of your door and looked down. “No, he wouldn't. You’re right.” You paused a moment. “But you have no idea what it’s like to be alone.”

“You have Peter.”

“I don’t have anybody.” You opened your door and said goodnight to him. You closed it and leaned against it, whispering “Happy New Year” to him.

And at the hospital, a miracle had happened. Peter had finally woken up.

“Ox, they called me and told me to get down here. What happened?” you asked, as you entered the hospital lobby and saw him.

“He’s awake,” Ox said and even though you wanted to make a run for it, he ushered you into the elevator to go to floor where Peter’s room was. “Won’t he be glad to see you?”

You nervously answered “yea” and put on a smile.

The rest of the family was in the room around the bed and the doctor woke him up. He looked at all of them but did a second glance at you.

“Who are you?” he asked.

You thought that was it. This was the end and that you were going to have to confess. Your stomach turned into a ball of knots and your mind was reeling with what to say.

“My god. He’s got amnesia,” Ox said.

You almost felt like fainting. Your secret was still gonna be kept. You couldn't have been more relived. But on the other hand, you just couldn't take it any more and needed to get this pressure off of you.

The doctor explained that Peter could have what’s called “selective amnesia” and it’s quite common for someone that has just come out of a coma.

“Um, guys. I, uh... I have something very important to uh, tell you. I was never...” you started to say but Elsie cut in.

“Pregnant. We know. Scott told us.”

And speak of the devil, Scott came off the elevator. They went back into the room to see Peter but you stopped Saul and he could tell that you wanted the lie to finally end.

“Let me handle it. I’ll take care of it, alright?”

You believed he would and went back over into Peter’s room with the rest. The family tried to see if Peter remembered who you were but he couldn't remember at all, even though he said that you did look somewhat familiar. The doctor then had you guys leave because it was just to much excitement for him.

Scott drove you home and it was silence the whole ride. It wasn't until he parked the truck outside your apartment building that you finally spoke up.

“Scott, you’ve been really great this week.”

He scoffed. “Yea, like when I accused you of lying to everybody. Or when I accused you of having a relationship with Tony Jr. Or when I thought you were pregnant and I announced it to all your friends.”

You wrinkled your nose a bit and chuckled then looked at Scott. “You’ve had a really busy week this week, haven't you?” You paused a moment and took a deep breath. “Look, Scott, I um.. Starting tomorrow, things are probably gonna be kinda different. And I just wanted you to know that you've become a... a really good friend.”

You got out of the truck and Scott whispered the last word that came from your lips: “friend”.

“[Y/N],” he said before you closed the door. You looked at him. “I didn't mean what I said about you and Peter. I think you two are gonna make a really terrific couple and I’m really glad that you won't be alone anymore.”

He gave you a smile, which you returned. You both said goodbye and he drove away while you walked to your apartment.

The next morning, Scott finally got the courage to say something to his dad about the business and wanting to go into his own business, making furniture. He couldn't have been more happy or surprised to hear that his father wasn't mad at him for wanting that. In fact, his father was happy for him. It seemed like things were starting to look up for Scott.

Later that morning at the hospital, the family was trying to have Peter remember who you were. While he was naming off everything else that he could think of, Saul came in and said he wanted to talk to Peter alone.

He let Peter know not only are you his fiancee, you’re his guardian angel that saved his life. “And I want you to do yourself a favor. I want you to look deeply into her eyes and listen with the heart of man who’s just been given a second chance at life. And after two minutes, if you’re not madly in love with her, tell her you wanna break up. But if in the two minutes, you see what rest of us only took seconds to see, you’ll propose to her for the second time and marry her before she has the chance to escape.” He got up and looked at Peter. “Now, she’s coming later so you have time to think about what I said.”

When you came to the hospital later that day, you brought Peter’s box of belongings with you. He was nodding off when you got to his room so you tiptoed in but he woke up when you were just about to set the box on the table.

“[Y/N]!” he said.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” he said, smiling.

You brought over the box and said that you had came to bring his stuff back. You stood there a bit awkwardly after placing the box on the bed and he asked you to sit.

“I uh, saw a picture of you when you saved those three squirrels. Your mom showed me it.”

He joked about it and said that was a long time ago. You guys had some small talk about things, one of them being when you jumped on the tracks to save him and a few other things.

At that moment, Ashley walked into Peter’s apartment building. The doorman stopped her and asked what apartment and being the nasty snob that she is, snapped at him and told him she’s Peter’s fiancee.

He chuckled a bit and said, “You’re not his fiancee.”

She gave him a confused look.

Back at the hospital, Scott came to visit Peter and saw that he was being transferred to the second floor. He asked the nurse if he could steer Peter to the elevator and the nurse said that would be fine. When they got out of the room, Scott pulled out a pint of Baskin Robbin’s ice cream and handed it to Peter. He opened it up and started digging in.

“Hey, [Y/N]’s pretty terrific, isn't she?” he asked Scott.

“Oh, yea.”

“We’re engaged, ya know.”

“Yea, I heard about that too,” Scott said.

Peter started talking a bit of nonsense while they waited for the elevator. He started confessing several things and Scott asked him if he said any of it to you.

“No, that’s all in the past. I’m making a clean start with [Y/N]. She is... she is... what is she? She’s...” Peter said, starting to space out.

“I’d say that she gets under your skin as soon as you meet her. She drives you so nuts you don’t know whether to hug her or, or just really arm wrestle her. She would go all the way to Europe just to get a stamp in her passport. I don’t know if that amounts to insanity, or just being really, really… likable,” Scott said with a smile on his face.

Peter, still totally spaced out, said, “No. That’s not it. But she’s gotta be really special. She’s gotta be. And I could spend the rest of my life finding out why.”

And then Peter started rambling on about you. Scott couldn't take any more of hearing it, so he just walked away, leaving Peter waiting at the elevators. The nurse came over and handed Peter his box of things, which he was happy to see his shoes on top for some reason, and brought him to his new room.

You came back to the hospital and saw Saul outside and asked how the family took the news. He told you that he didn't tell them yet or Peter. You couldn't believe that Saul hadn't said a word to them yet. You knew that it was gonna be up to you to tell them. You went inside just when a blonde woman walked in the door as well. The two of you went into the elevator and went to different floors.

Ashely stormed into the room that they moved Peter into and closed the door.

“Ashely!” Peter said.

“Scumbag,” Ashley replied. “You’re engaged?” Peter nodded at this. “May I remind you that you proposed to me?”

“You said no. We broke up.”

Peter and Ashley started arguing about things and she wasn't taking any of it well at all.

“Fine. Go ahead and marry her, you one-balled bastard,” she told him and stormed out.

You went over to the room that Peter used to be in and the one nurse let you know that he had been moved to a new floor. She brought you to his room and he was happy to see you. He didn't let you get to talk much because he decided to propose to you. It came as such a shock but you said yes and then went home to try on your dress.

Scott came to your apartment while you were trying to see which shoes matched better with the dress. You asked your cat which one looked better and then came a knock on your door.

“Ugh! I don't want any flowers from you, I am NOT wearing black underwear and I definitely do not want to move in with you, T...” you said as you went to open the door and stopped yourself from finishing, seeing who was at the door. “Scott.”

“Well, I don't have any flowers, I wouldn't mind seeing the black underwear but under the circumstances I don't think we should move in together,” he said with a smile on his face.

You giggled a bit. “I thought you were Tony Jr..”

He sighed. “I get that a lot,” he said, which made you laugh a bit more.

You invited him in and he loved the wedding dress that you were going to be wearing for the ceremony.

“I just wanted to give you this before all the presents started to pile up,” he said, handing you a small newspaper wrapped gift. “I was dropping off some furniture in Little Italy, I look in the window and...”

You unwrapped it to see a beautiful snow globe of Florence. “Thank you,” you said. “It’s really beautiful.”

He started to head over towards the door. “And I wanted to say that I think Peter is a very lucky guy. I had to say that because you’re gonna be my sister-in-law.”

“Haha,” you said teasingly. “Guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other than. But thank you.”

“I better get going,” Scott said and opened the door. He headed down the stairs but you called out to him and asked him something.

“Can you give me any reason why I shouldn't marry your brother?”

He looked at you, with those beautiful green eyes almost looking like they were shining from tears starting to form, but said, “I can't.” And he walked away, leaving you in tears.

You handed your boss your wedding invitation the next day and he was so confused.

“And whom are we marrying?�� he asked you.

“Peter,” you answered.

“The coma guy?! Are you insane?”

“Yes, I’m insane. Everyday I go and I sit in a booth like a veal. I work every holiday. I go home to a cat. And now, a rich and handsome man has asked me to marry him and I have said yes. Ok? Ok, that makes me a raving, total lunatic.”

“The wedding is tomorrow, [Y/N].”

“I know it’s tomorrow, but ya now what? I even wish it were yesterday because that would mean that today I’d be on my honeymoon, that I’d finally have a stamp in my passport and that it would say Italy on it.”

Your boss looked at you, knowing that you were extremely frustrated about something. “What happened with the other guy?”

“He didn't want me,” you said trying very hard not to cry.

The next day came your wedding at the hospital. But you were running late and everyone was starting to get nervous.

Scott put Peter’s sport coat on him and Peter asked if it looked ridiculous.

“No, you look fine,” Scott said.

“You got the rings?” he asked.

“I got the rings,” Scott answered and pulled the ring box out of his pants pocket, handing it to Peter.

Scott sighed and looked at Peter. “You suck.”

“I suck or the outfit sucks?” Peter asked, clearly confused.

“It’s a toss up,” Scott mumbled.

You came into the room where the wedding was being held and the organ player started. You walked slowly down the isle but then stopped, took your jacket off and started again. You looked nervously at everyone and looked lastly at Scott, who looked like he wanted to say something but couldn't.

The priest started the ceremony, saying the first sentence but you immediately said, “I object.”

Scott stared at you wide-eyed and Saul couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The priest was confused since he hadn't got to that part yet.

“I would have to object too,” Scott said.

“And what about you?” the priest asked Peter.

“I’m thinking...” Peter stammered.

“What the hell is going on?” Ox asked.

You turned to look at the family and just couldn't take it any longer. They had to know the truth.

“I’m in love with your son,” you said.

“I know,” Ox responded.

“Not that one,” you said pointing to Peter. “That one.” And pointed at Scott.

“Scott? What the hell did you do?” Ox asked.

Scott stood there with the biggest smile on his face. You breathed a big sigh and just let the confession pour out of you at that moment.

“He didn't do anything. It was me. It was all me. Uh, Elsie? How you doing? You ok?” Elsie snapped a picture with her camera and smiled at you. “Um, do you remember that day at the hospital? Uh, of course you remember... there was a little mix up. I saw Peter get pushed onto the tracks and I saved his life but when I got to the hospital, they wouldn't let me see him so uh, someone told the doctor that I was his fiancee. Only, um...” and you took a deep breath, “it’s not true. I was never engaged to Peter.”

The family sat in stunned silence. Scott rubbed the back of his neck and his green eyes shone again with tears. “Why didn't you say something?” he whispered at you.

“Because I didn't know how to tell you,” you whispered back, tears starting to well in your eyes too.

You continued your story, looking at the family. “We didn't even meet until that day on the tracks. It was just when we were at the hospital and everything happened so fast. I couldn't tell you the truth and I didn't want to tell you the truth because the truth was that, um... I fell in love with you.”

“You fell in love with me?” Ox asked.

You giggled a bit. “No. I mean, yes. Yes, all of you. I went from being all alone to being a fiancee, a daughter, a grand-daughter, a sister and a friend.” You turned and looked at Peter. “I might've saved your life on the tracks that day but, you know what? You really saved mine. You allowed me to be a part of your family. And I haven't had that in a really long time.” A few tears started to roll down your cheeks. “And I just didn't want to let go of it.” You sighed. “So even though it was for just a little while, I will love them always.”

By this time, everybody was in tears. “I’m so sorry,” you said and started walking out.

Just then, Ashley came storming in with a man after her and said, “Peter is engaged to me. I object to this wedding.”

“Get in line,” the priest mumbled.

The man behind her said, “And I object to your objection.”

“Who’s that?” Mary asked.

“That is Ashley’s husband,” Peter said.

At that point, massive arguing broke out from everyone while Elsie went around taking pictures of all of it. You quietly slipped out and went back to your place, spending the night taking down your tree and putting the ornaments away.

The next day at work, was just like every other day. Until a diamond ring got dropped in your token tray. You grabbed it and looked up to see Scott and the family, minus Peter, at your window.

“[Y/N],” Scott said. You smiled at everyone and then looked at the ring. “I need to ask you a question.” He paused for a minute. “Can I come in there please?”

“I can’t,” you said, which almost made Scott’s heart break. “Not without a token.” And smiled at him. He deposited his token and you dinged the bell to let him through.

He came in the booth and looked at you with those beautiful green eyes. “Marry me?” he asked.

“Yes,” you whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you, back,” he said and kissed you passionately.

Soon the two of you got married and Scott took you to Florence for your honeymoon. He gave you what your father had always said you would find someday: someone who’d give you the world. Peter once asked you when it was that fell in love with Scott. And you told him, “it was while you were sleeping”.