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quirkwizard · 5 months ago

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Battle Report: A Retrospective on the Final War Arc

The Final War Arc is finally over. It's been a wild ride. And while I had my issues with it, I ultimately think was a good arc. I think it may go somewhere in the 7/10 to 8/10 range for my tier list of arcs. Who knows though. With all of that done though, I wanted to take a chance to look back on this arc and talk about what's transpired. Now, is this a little premature? Kind of. At the time of writing and posting this, the epilogue is still going on. The series has not ended and any of my complaints may be null and void after all of this is over. However, the arc is massive. It's eighty chapters long with dozens of plotlines and characters all mashing up against one another. I want to take the time out of focus on everything that has happened and leave the epilogue to it's own post.

And with that context, it is a lot to cover. Even if it's not the epilogue, it's still everything from chapter 343 to 423. So this post is going to be more disjointed, stream of conscious writing about my thoughts on specific parts of the arc that are worth talking about instead of doing some deep dive on the whole thing. Sure, I think the civilian stuff with Eri and everyone else in the bunker is nice in it's own way and I think how the pilots are used is hilarious, but that isn't enough for me to talk about. If you want me to discuss something in particular or expand on something here, I may talk about it later or add it to the post. With all of that being cleared up, my retrospective on the finale of the Final War Arc.

Shoto vs Dabi: This is the first fight of the arc, and we are definitely starting strong. I've already gushed about how much I enjoy this bit ever since it happened, so I will keep this brief. Of course, seeing Dabi back and all of his spiteful glory is great. Though, if we're being honest, the real start is Shoto and his new Super Move. The Phospher reveal is such a cool power-up for Shoto, and it works great in so many ways. It's a unique and clever way to counteract Dabi's firepower without just trying to overpower him. And it all leads to this beautiful and distinct art of flowing ice. It's so cool. And the best part is that it acts as the perfect cap to his character arc of trying to define himself, combining the two halves of himself into a combination that is completely his own. That's not even getting into the numerous references to phosphor, giving this even more depth.

All For One vs Endeavor: In spite of having a lot of focus, I don't have a lot to say about the forest fight. It's a lot of the same stuff as the Tomura fight, though not as egregious. I will say that I think Enji's bits in this arc are rather underrated. Having Enji fight All For One is a good way to wrap up that part of this character, finally growing past his own insecurities relating to Izuku and All Might while still achieving something that would make him worthy of being the top pro. The flashback about his father dying saving someone adds so much context to who Endeavor is as a person, and I'm really glad we got it. And having Endeavor burn away the past version of himself is such a cool image and a good moment for his character. Honestly, I think Enji continues his hot streak as one of the best written characters in this story.

Tomura vs Everyone: I didn't much care for this part. It felt very repetitive. Characters attack Tomura. It doesn't do anything. Tomura starts monologuing. Repeat. They couldn't do anything to Tomura, but as Hori has shown, he's reluctant to kill off named characters. It's why, despite getting ragdolled, none of them died. It didn't feel like the threat of death was looming over any of them, making this big battle feel relatively low-stakes. So we're stuck in this cycle of Tomura beating all of them up for dozens of chapters, only for neither side to really get anywhere. It feels like we're stalling. That Hori simply needed Izuku out of the picture to delay the final fight for him and Tomura. Which, sure, I get, but he could have at least made what was happening with Tomura more interesting. What's worse is that this is so much time spent with AFO Tomura. A character who isn't nearly as interesting as some of his parts and is a watered-down version of both.

Spinner's Assault: This is by far the worst part of the entire finale. Let's ignore the politics and message and how they may or may not apply to the real world. This mini-arc is focused on Koda, Shoji, and Spinner. All characters I like to varying degrees, but none feel like they have earned this kind of focus. The whole mutant discrimination plotline feels woefully underdeveloped, so having it be the center point of this part feels jarring. And saying it only happens outside the city is such a handwave. Not only does that make no sense, as bigotry can happen just as much, if not more, in metro areas, but it has little showing within the world. Hori, if you wanted to set this up, maybe you should have actually had some major focus on stories out of the city. So having so much time dedicated to it just feels wasteful and frustrating. I could go on a longer rant, but I will save it for another time.

Bakugou's "Death": What a waste. Come on now, did any of you really think Bakugou died here? Or would stay dead? And having his resurrection tied to his clustered sweat feels like a slap in the face of Edgeshot. The guy who reduced himself to a thin string just to save Bakugou's life. On that note, having Edgeshot be the one to save Bakugou feels… out of place. Edgeshot is a pretty minor character with no connection to Bakugou. Many figured that this sudden change would lead to some boost for Bakugou, but it didn't. So why Edgeshot? Why couldn't Best Jeanist be the one to do it, the one that is more important to both Bakugou and the audience? And this doesn't feel like a major change for Bakugou. If you have your character die and come, there should be some greater change to them or how they act, but it doesn't. At least, nothing as major as a death and resurrection should have. The biggest effect it has is on Tomura, bringing him out of the control of All For One, and Izuku, showing that he wouldn't lose control and break again. Once again, Bakugou's grievous injury is more important to the characters around him.

Rewound All For One: One of the more controversial parts of the arc. Is it a reach for Garaki to make the drug? Kind of. Is it annoying to still have All For One around? To a degree. Does it lead to some frustrating moments like All For One not unleashing his biggest area-clearing attack to start with when he knows he's on a time limit? Yes. However, I ultimately feel as though this does more good for the story than bad. By giving All For One this timer, it gives him a more definitive weakness to exploit and a ticking counter in the form of his body degenerating. And by keeping him around, it gives him a chance to go against Endeavor, Toshinori, and Bakugou. That way, they're completing their own arcs without feeling like any of their efforts are wasted or overstepping each other's time in the ring with All For One.

Dabi's Quirk: This is going to be a more personal annoyance, but I'm really frustrated with how Hori handled Dabi's Quirk. First off, him instantly using Shoto's technique against him is such nonsense. You're telling me that seeing it is enough for him to replicate it with no training?And him suddenly making ice for himself also makes zero sense. He hasn't shown anything like that before, and nothing about his power implies that he could. And don't tell me it's literally Rei's Quirks, but that makes even less sense. I could explain that as an evolution of his ice resistance, but that's more me trying to make sense of it. Could you justify it as being Shoto's sibling and their powers having similar mechanics and traits? Sure, but a lot of it comes across more as a convivence to keep Dabi's corpse moving. At least his design is cool.

Wasted Students: While the manga actually does a good job of distributing attention, there are some students that I feel were shafted. A special mention goes to Sero, Ojiro, and Sato, whom Hori pretty obviously just shoved together to get them out of the way. The ones I'm thinking about are Iida and Momo. Momo was one of the 1-A characters who had some arc, so having her be relegated to a living printer feels wasteful. However, I can at least forgive this a little. Her moment was during the PLF War, and her position makes sense. But shoot, Tenya was done dirty in this arc. He doesn't have any really cool moments of his own and very little in the way of character moments. I thought he was going to have something done with Stain, but no. Most of his time in this arc is spent supporting Shoto, quite literally in the case of the Ice Jet maneuver. Wait, why was he even fighting Dabi? Tenya himself admits he's a bad match for this, so why was he there?

Shiketsu Students: This is one of the few moments in the arc that actually surprised me, and it's a welcome surprise at that. As someone who thought that the Shiketsu students were interesting but underdeveloped, it was cool seeing them act as reinforcements. What was even a better surprise was Camie's "Glamour" trick with the fake Hawks. That has got to be the funniest movement in this entire arc, bar none. Of the three, Inasa gets the most focus, and I think he does pretty well with it. While I do like his soft cap on his arc with the Todoroki's, reflecting his growth as well as their own, I really enjoy how much he just shuts All For One down this arc. All For One is trying to do these big speeches and one-liners, and Inasa is out here yelling him down like any other two-bit criminal. It's equal parts hilarious and awesome.

Tokoyami: On the flip side of my statement about students, I think Tokoyami is really good in this arc. Tokoyami is one of the less prominent characters in terms of development and actual emotional moments to support him. The arc did a good job of giving him some kind of arc for his character. About how he sees his powers and how hard they are to control. And I'm going to be totally transparent here, I just think full-power Dark Shadow is really cool. There isn't anything deep or nuanced here. Seeing this giant shadow mecha loom over the whole battlefield and make All For One go pale is super sick. It's not just all action and character, either. He probably had one of the best reactions to anything ever in the whole series when illusion Hawks "died". So in spite of my issues with the other students, at least Tokoyami was done well.

The Big Three: Yeah, I didn't really care for what was happening with a lot of the Big Three. They ultimately fall into the same issues as everyone else in the UA Battle Zone that I talked about before. And while their massive railgun attack was cool on paper, it all amounted to nothing. It all feels like such pointless fluff to tide the user's over. It's not even like they have anything interesting going on character-wise, either. Mirio is easily the biggest victim of this. Ever since Mirio got his Quirk back, he hasn't really been given any chance to act outside of the costume or really be his own character. Seriously, the biggest moment he has is him acting as the butt of the joke in order to distract Tomura so Izuku can get in. Was there really no better way to do that? And as much as I want to remember him for other stuff he did, like yelling at Izuku, there really isn't anything else that sticks out.

Gearshift: Again, a more personal gripe, but one that bugs me a lot. I really don't like "Gearshift" as a power. Like "Fa Jin", it doesn't feel like it expands on any of Izuku's capabilities, only doubling down on what is already there. Unlike "Fa Jin", this had way more potential that went unused. Being able to alter the speed of an object or person is such an interesting concept. And for all of the hype surrounding it, it doesn't feel like it's used to its full potential. Really? We couldn't think of a better Quirk for him. Or at least come up with something more interesting for this one to do? All it's used for is to give a power boost to Izuku and make him go faster. The only time it's used to do anything else is when he uses it to speed up Bakugou. Why couldn't we get more stuff like that? Or at least maybe giving it a chance to interact with Izuku's other quirks for combinations?

Gigantomachia Battle: I like this well enough. As much as the reappearance of what's his face frustrates me, that's more of a carryover from my problems with Midnight's death and not the fault of this arc. It's a good follow-up for the brief arc with Mina and I like how much her new move ties into their growth with its name. Plus, it gave Shinso a cool moment that felt natural without stepping on anyone else's toes. I will say that I'm pretty confused at the sudden turn with Gigantomachia, who only really seems mournful over what All For One did once. And the one time he did, it seemed more regretful that someone as pathetic as Tomura was the successor. Otherwise, he just seemed like a loyal thug without much personality.

Todorokis vs Dabi: For the dramatic resolution of the Todoroki family storyline, I find myself having very little say about it. It's good. I really like seeing the feral, demented version of Dabi who is barely held together. Enji's lines about people watching him and taking responsibility become twisted with Dabi's view of him and his actions. I like the monologue Shoto gives as he's flying to stop Dabi. I guess my issue is that the rest of it doesn't stand out as much to me. And the actual resolution doesn't feel any different from the way Shoto fought him. It came across like the earlier fight with him was just there to keep him occupied so Enji could fight All For One and didn't serve any real purpose for the characters. That there needed to be this resolution for everyone else in the Todoroki family and for Dabi as well, but doing it like this lessens some of the punch.

Uraraka vs Toga: One of my favorite parts of the arc. This entire section was such a dark horse for me, someone who didn't put a lot of stock in the Uraraka and Toga storyline. It shocked me how invested I was in the fight. Just seeing how hard Uraraka fights is so enthralling to watch, going through so much to help Toga. And this is one of the few points in the series where Awakenings work, with an Awakening that actually feels earned and relevant to the character at that. All because she wanted to help and connect with Toga in order to save her. And if Toga did die here, I wouldn't mind because I think it fits. She was able to live and die as her own person, making her own choices. All in all, it's a highlight of the arc and a great capstone for both of the characters.

Aoyama's Section: Why does Aoyama have so much focus on him? I don't dislike Aoyama, and I'm glad one of the more minor characters is getting attention in a way that feels relevant to who they are. I just don't think he really needed this much space to himself, having his own battlefield and major villain to fight, with little to no other focus on other characters. Having him stand up against All For One felt like more than enough of a final beat for his character arc. It was him acting in spite of his fears, facing down the scariest person in the entire series. Hagakure's presence bugs me here as well, since it just reeks of convivence. And man, giving out yet another Awakening? Were these not supposed to be rare? It's yet another example of an Awakening that barely feels any different from before and doesn't feel earned.

Toshinori Yagi vs All For One: Unlike a lot of fans, I wasn't as bothered by this part. On paper, Toshinori fighting All For One with a massive mecha suit kind of flies in the face of one of the core ideas of the series. That people without Quirks cannot be heroes. However, the story makes it clear that this is something that cannot stand up against All For One, requires all the resources of his decades of hero work, has decades of experience as the top hero, and he's only doing as well because he's fighting All For One because he's acting irrationally. My only reservation is that All Might is using parts inspired by the students. While I think these are cool, it seems like this is supposed to be his big moment as a teacher. And... I guess the story wants us to believe that. I don't know. It feels like Hori hasn't really put in enough work to have this be a satisfying payoff. He only really has two or so scenes involving the other students outside of Izuku. I believe he's a proper mentor to Izuku, sure, but as a real teacher for the whole class? Not really. Don't get me wrong, the idea and execution of it were fine, but the set-up needed more legwork.

Stain's "Moment": Yeah, this is something I can't forgive. Stain is such a major figure in My Hero Academia, both in and out of universe. He's the guy who changed the whole trajectory of the story and brought a whole new level of respect for the story. Hori brings him back to restore Toshinori's motivation and give them plans for All For One. And then he comes in for a big moment in the final fight. Only to be ragdolled, having accomplished nothing. There was no final moment of sacrifice, no heroic last stand. Just slapped aside and exploded. Not only does All For One's escaping feel like a mass convenience, just so happening to have a Quirk to push all the blood out of his body, but it's so disappointing for Stain. It feels like an afterthought. Like Hori remembered that Stain was around and threw him in to die. He doesn't even get a moment in the ghost realm. Come on, Hori. If you went through the trouble of having his Quirk stolen, why not do something more with it?

All For One's Backstory: Yeah, I still think this part of the story is hilarious. This is so over the top and dark that it comes full circle into being funny again. All For One's backstory feels like some edgy teenager fanfiction. Like he was born to a drug-addled mother, literally drained the life out of her to the point she died. He was nearly eaten by rats at birth, he was the real first Quirk user, he's been killing people since he was four years old. It was to the point that I thought All For One was lying about it to make himself seem cooler or more inhuman than he really was. But no, we're actually supposed to believe all of this and take it seriously. I really have to wonder what Hori was thinking with this. Is it supposed to show All For One as evil to the core? But doesn't that go against the idea that it's nurture over nature? Or maybe it's to show that the worst circumstances made the worst evil? Okay, then why is All For One so unapologetically evil, supposedly even before he was born?

Bakugou vs All For One: I find myself having very little to say about any of this. It's a big-ole fight scene with Bakugou and All For One. It doesn't feel like it really completes anything from Bakugou arc outside of his hang-up with All For One and All Might retiring. Yeah, I'm glad it got tied up and that Bakugou got to save Toshinori, but it hasn't felt all that relevant to his overall arc. Maybe I'm downplaying this a lot more than I should, but that's just how I see it. The only major hangup I have is with the whole "people wanting it bad enough changed the future for All Might." I chose to interpret this as more metaphorical than literal. Like everything that's motivating Bakugou is pushing him forward, or that all of the steps everyone took up to this point defied fate. Otherwise, we are getting into some stuff the series never talks about and never explains. At least this fight gave us the "Bakugou deals bonus damage to children" meme.

Dream Hawks: Okay, this isn't so much a real problem, but I feel like this is a big missed opportunity: why isn't Stain the one getting the vestiges to rebel? You know, the guy who had such focus and determination that he was able to ward off an entire squad of top heroes from attacking him with sheer force of will. The guy who ironically sparked a whole villain renaissance with his words about the rot at the core of the world of heroes. It'd give his death some purpose and give him one final amazing scene against All For One, giving him a chance to redeem himself after all the problems he caused the world with his dogma. Ironically, he'd be dying a hero and stopping one of the biggest threats to the world. But sure, give another scene to Hawks. It's not like he's been already been a heavy focus of the arc.

Izuku vs Tomura: We've been waiting for this fight for a while, and it did not disappoint me. Not only is the part where we finally get Tomura back, immediately making this fight far more enjoyable, but the fight itself is so cool. You can feel the struggle, exhaustion, and desperation in each of Izuku's panels. We get to see more of feral Izuku. Who doesn't want to see more of feral Izuku? What's better is that we actually get Izuku using some interesting strategies against Tomura, like pushing up the rocks to stop the spread of "Decay" while using it as cover to perform a counter attack. And having this be topped off with the sacrifice of "One For All" makes this all feel that much more harrowing of an experience, with Izuku piece and piece of himself just at a chance of victory. It's one of the few final fights of a series where I was actually worried about the main character.

Shared Dreamspace: This might just be my favorite moment in the whole arc. We get all the shared visions as our two protagonists begin to understand each other more. And for all of this talking, it never once tries to excuse Tomura for what he did. Even Tomura talks about how he doesn't regret what he's doing or why he's destroying everything. He's doing it all for himself and the League. And while Izuku can understand this, he can't condone it, and it doesn't excuse what Tomura did. It's a good way for both sides to get their points across in order to get some kind of resolution without feeling like it's breaking either of them. It's all about understanding and learning from each other, which is what this conflict has been all about. It's all so well done and pretty much exactly how I imagined a confrontation like this would go down between these two.

All For One's Return: Is it kind of frustrating that All For One has returned yet again? Sure. I can understand people getting sick and tired of him, now more than ever. However, I think it's explained well enough not to bother me, and ultimately, the only way for the story to have its cake and eat it as well. It's a clean way to remove Tomura from the story without having to dirty Izuku's hands. Tomura has made it pretty clear that he has zero intention of ever stopping, and redemption was not on the table for him. It also gives Izuku a final fight against All For One, who, while not as personal to Izuku, is the biggest evil in the series. On top of that, it fits with the idea of everyone coming together to be the greatest hero by getting their licks in on All For One. It's what the story has been pushing for the whole time: One For All fighting back against All For One.

Oboro, Aizawa, and Yamada: As much as I wanted to get excited about this part, it did feel woefully undercooked. Oboro's condition and Aizawa and Present Mic's reaction to it feel pretty minor in the grand scheme of things. They only get one chapter to hash things out, and it feels very rushed. Which is odd because it has some of the biggest impact on the arc itself, with Kurogiri teleporting everyone around and being the lynchpin in the two major paradigm shifts in the arc. It's Spinner's whole motivation for attacking the hospital, it removed Aizawa from the playing field at UA, and it ends up sending all of the doubles from the island to the fight in the forest. What we got was nice, especially Kurogiri saying he wants Tomura back when they are all fighting All For One, but sadly, it wasn't enough.

The Final Run-Up: Look, I am the biggest sucker for moments like this. Izuku is still standing in spite of losing both arms. Then everyone is coming out of the portals to the final fight, all firing out their attacks to go down. It's like Endgame, but actually thematically relevant to everyone coming together to beat the greatest threat to the world. And the part where all the good guys are helping the protagonist forward just so they can deliver that final blow. I can't help but feel hyped up as each of the other students and heroes fight back against All For One. We get All For One going out like a total punk. And we can share a final vision between Tomura and Izuku. I cannot say anything analytical or in-depth about this. I just think it hits all these different sweet spots in me while still ending things on a good note, and it brings me so much joy.

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valeriefauxnom · 8 months ago

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Unintentional Comedy - Dragalia and Feh Artwork Edition

So, remember Alfonse, from FEH?

Y'know, this dude?

For an okay crutch for those without Gala Euden or Albert or other handy light swords they didn't want to invest in, he was rather popular, only partly owed to any pre-established fondness FEH players had since they already knew him. People liked the more expanded personality we got than FEH's bare-bones story, additionally before they started trying to spice Alfonse up in more recent books.

In his story, however, one of the events that happening is Euden falling off a cliff, shortly followed by Alfonse.

Miraculously, cliff-falling isn't quite as dangerous in Dragalia Lost as in real life (also demonstrated by Leonidas in Stranded Scions, etc...), and the two survive. Alfonse has some sort of injury to his foot, however, conveniently hampering his ability to move but not much else.

Euden, being Euden and unwilling to throw anyone to the wolves, comes up with this idea:

Nothing atypical here, right?

...Well, as it was revealed in a book published two years later than his debut in Dragalia, Fire Emblem Heroes Character Illustrations, Volume 1...

Alfonse is 180cm tall, AKA 5'11.

...Is it any surprise coming from 195cm/6'5 and 180cm/5'11 parents? Someone check the Askran royal food for steroids that Sharena has apparently not been consuming, presumably because she's instead dining with heroes in the barracks.

I digress.

Now, as I've gone over before here, here's where it gets hilarious in retrospect.

In short, Ranzal, the resident big buff burly dude of Dragalia...is stated to be 6'1/185 in the joke comics.

...And while literally nobody else got an even vaguely-official number to their height, Dragalia instead opting for a 'comparison heights' to keep track of who's shorter and who's taller in a pair... Euden often seems to wind up in the 150-155cm/5'0-5'1 range or even shorter when in illustrations with Ranzal:

At most, I've seen him crack about 5'9/175cm in the comics, which aren't exactly a stable source of art, as demonstrated by these two panels, in which both seem to be on flat ground and standing pretty straight:

I need to stop before I mindlessly repeat the other post, but my point remains:

Euden, by most depictions, is tiny. A literal short prince/king.

And yet, no matter what way you slice it, he's trying to carry a dude that seems to be quite a bit taller, let's say. How much, we'll never know, but the fact remains he'd likely need to pull out a dragon phone to search 'how to carry people much taller than you?' just in case and hurriedly read a wikihow 10-step article explaining some strats, were it not for the fact that dragons would have destroyed smartphones in Dragalia a long time ago (good move, dragons....?).

I will admit that there are a few arts that frame them as the 'same height' but I would more point to the fact Euden, when drawn with crossover characters for promotional art, is usually portrayed on an 'equal footing', so as not to have one take up more space/attention. Also, the Feh team might not have even decided on a height for Alfy boy before!

Even then, he's still portrayed as shorter than 5'9/175cm Joker in some art:

So yeah. Crossover art is not exactly consistent, and all I can do is look to the general trend in the 'canon game' of him being absolutely dwarfed by Ranzal.

Now, it's one thing for Euden to be lugging about Alfonse for a while.

The idea he might have done so with such a potential height disparity is pure comedy.

No wonder he's so tired after a while, lugging about another human who is both taller, heavier, and also wearing armor!

Not only that, he later tries and partly succeeds in fighting heavily armored soldiers (who are admittedly aiming to capture him and kill Alfonse) with Alfonse 'draped across his back like a sack of potatoes'. Talk about determination, adrenaline, and/or the simple principle of 'small but mighty'!

Maybe that's why Alfonse was saying "I don't think that's wise" at the start there before he quickly found other rationale besides 'you sure you can give a piggyback without my feet dragging along the ground the whole way?'

My case rests, Your Honor: they unintentionally made part four of Alfonse's personal story a lot funnier to envision by publishing an art book 2 years after he first existed in Dragalia Lost!

#dragalia lost #fire emblem heroes

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dailycass-cain · 1 month ago

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By unlocking 7,000 Followers on Twitter (thank you all 😊) has me doing this nice retrospective of Cass's time in James Tynion IV's Detective Comics run (aka Gotham Knights) that started in #934-#981.

I'll start with some context before I go deep into this run. So in 2016 (it's been 8 YEARS?!), DC Comics relaunched their comics with the "Rebirth" label.

Taking some things of the past and putting them in the "New 52" universe.

For Cass, it would mean she would be getting a mask closer to her Batgirl costume. As we know with the end of Batman & Robin Eternal, she'd be going with the new Orphan identity.

Now, this all happened back to back with one another. In, a greater context this helped the character of Cass. Cause, before this. DC Comics had this history of yanking the character or we'd be stuck with two months or more before we'd get more (aka Black Bat).

The other thing (a bit more controversial), is that the friendships with Spoiler and Red Robin would happen between Batman & Robin Eternal and this. So we'd never get this subplot of introduction again.

So right away Cass/Steph would be besties. Akin to their prior life.

#934 The first showing of Cass in this run is her in full costume (with said mask), and what she does vigilante-wise in the Orphan identity.

Helping out other orphans who are being trafficked illegally. A theme that would put up a few times in this run and her tale with Orca in DC: Doomed & the Damned #1 (a few years later in 2020).

The issue establishes the team dynamics and obviously digs into the "X-Men themes" of each member.

You can see these themes with each member of the Gotham Knights.

For Cass, it's easy to see she's the "Wolverine" of the team. Though with the writer, Tynion has a clear bias toward (I mean Claremont balanced the Logan stuff). Not that I mind this. 😶

As for the rest of this arc, Tynion does a good job showcasing some elements in the past that were classic Cass flaws like in the Mudroom she keeps fighting everyone's battles instead of her own.

Which is a problem would have. So it's a flaw I do enjoy.

Just that well... we never see this flaw ever again in the series. Cass does let everyone fight their own battle (Steph in particular), but will be there to help someone else (more on that later).

We also get the one recurring subplot in the post-B&RE with Cass and Harper being closely entwined with one another (though sadly this gets dropped after the second arc, and eventually dropped completely after #950).

I still get the reason "why" Harper was being slowly phased out with Cass/Steph coming back, around this time but she does bring a few things to the table that others don't.

But that's a thing I'm gonna go in a future series of posts.

Like I said before, Tynion favors Cass A LOT and it shows in this opening arc with her getting several moments to steal the show. Starting with her fighting the enemies of the arc when they raid the Bellfry.

She does lose (but man what a fight she puts up in this taking out four of them) and it is hilarious that it takes THIS many darts to knock her down. 🤣

Then of course, the next issue she gets THE moment I think most are still hyped to this day on.

I mean I GET IT. The moment is still a 🐐.

Though, if there's one nitpick I can see is that Tynion really isn't fond of the mask concept entirely as there are moments that Cass puts on and removes the mask. Never keeping it on fully at times.

Like I knew this was a recurring theme in this series, but I forgot HOW MUCH recursion it was. With Cass getting the mask damaged or her unmasking at various points in this run. A part of me wonders if Tynion did this given how meh the mask just looks without the bat ears?

The other bit is the tease for the League of Shadows in this and the whole "black eyes" thing that we got later in the arc with them. I still don't understand the whole motif with that.

I remember debating with a friend the whole "was it a possession"? And now that I think about it more was it a nod to anger back in the ye old Puckett/Scott run? When Cass would get REALLY mad she'd have pure black eyes.

Since we never really got an answer, I just have more questions that I know we'll never get answers for.

That's Cass's part in this opening arc in a nutshell. All action, with just a tiny bit of characterization. You can best symbolize this as well in the next arc, "Night of the Monster Men" which crossed over with Nightwing and Batman ongoings.

This is a big one for me cause I remember really enjoying this story back when it came out, and I still do. It's Batman, the Gotham Knights, Signal, Gotham Girl, and Nightwing taking on Hugo Strange and his Kaiju Men.

Cause that's what they are in this crossover. Freaking huge monsters.

Now this is a BIG moment for Cass, as well this is the first Batman crossover she DOES things since-- Batman: War Games (though you could cheat Batman: Battle for the Cowl, as she does appear but never has a central role within the series).

So 2005 (or 2009). It's only been-- 11 or 7 years since her last Batman crossover.

….

🙃🙃🙃🙃

This one is the bits are co-written by Steve Orlando with Tynion, and I just enjoy this story. First up this is the stuff that gives us REAL good Cass/Steph crumbs. Bestest crumbs we'd get until this run would end.

Cass/Steph's part for "most of the story" is helping those who are infected and also not from Hugo Strange's new Monster Men strain (that makes you violent or turns you into giant kaiju).

It's a nice little beat as they're cut off from everyone else and Bruce is all, "TRUST THEM. THEY GOT THIS." Throughout the bits him and the rest are dealing with the Monster Men.

And the two do. Like these bits are probably the best Cass/Steph content we got since well---

-- Batgirls. And that's just do to reasons given Steph drifts away from Cass (so it can set up both their solo subplots. Though Cass's gets more attention somewhat, and Steph's gets rushed).

But yeah these bits of Cass/Steph in the cave are really the first REAL moments in the series that feel like Cass/Steph of old. Just because in the prior arc, they don't mingle save one scene where Steph gives off panel plot summaries instead.

It's just natural, and good. Really, this crossover has aged like an underrated fine wine. There's only one real flaw to it (more on that soon). But in characterization? This story is Cass/Steph perfection.

This arc is notable for three other things too. #1 This is also the ONLY arc where Cass remains masked in the entire arc. Cass doesn't appear unmasked AT ALL. So it's interesting to see how artists manage this and well--

#2 As you can tell this is the arc where artists began to draw the white lenses for Cass. A feature that would stick to the character this very day. I get this sets up the whole white/black lenses debate. But I totally forgot it was THIS arc that began the white lenses.

This is the first time Riley Rossmo draws Cass and well I do enjoy it. Rossmo makes the Orphan design work with its limited costume pallet. I get the little gremlin energy throughout this arc with his Cass.

#3 the climax (aka the one bit I find anti-climatic) where Nightwing, Batwoman, Spoiler, and Cass each get into a building and-- command giant freaking lasers. It should've been a giant Voltron Bat mech. IT REALLY SHOULD'VE.

But the real INTERESTING thing is note how EVERYONE says their codename but-- Cass. She just goes online. I get it simple words but it just feels like re-reading this how already the writer who co-created the identity was basically undermining the new identity himself by doing things like this.

Or maybe it was Orlando?

He's a sneaky sneak writer when it comes to Cass lore (see his Supergirl run where he casually drops Carolyn Wu-San or his Batman Beyond fill-in where has Babs say BATGIRLS). Just small little bits. I wouldn't be surprised if this was him.

But yeah this is a fun and underrated event crossover STILL. Which is probably why we had it given what the next arc does with Cass which lays seeds and is 💔 the first "Victims Syndicate" arc.

The seeds laid are the beginning bits of friendship in #943 between Cass and Clayface (Basil Karlo) aka one of the things most remember for this run. It starts with the beginnings of her being a rock for him.

Sadly, this issue also marks the final time Cass, Steph, and Harper are all together (only WFA uses them together now). 😭

So yeah seeing Cass, Steph, and Harper interacting with one another does make me truly sad as this is it. The last interaction between all three together.

It's also HIGHLY amusing as Harper and Cass are wearing their "disguises" from Batman & Robin Eternal #7-8 (probably due to Alvaro Martinez drawing these issues and the Tec one).

But this is really Steph's arc, and that's all the notable things Cass does other than having to do this 🥺🥺🥺while Steph leaves the Bat Family to do her thing.

Plus gets her sweeter full-on Spoiler Mask again too.

This and the next arc are the lesser of Cass stuff because well-- Cass gets her own story in #950! But before that, I must address PAIN. OH YES, PAIN!

Because during this chunk of arcs, Cass did show up someplace else, Red Hood & the Outlaws #15. Where she's drawn by Dexter Soy for the first time! 😀 She fights an Amazon for the first time too in Artemis! 😀😀

And it happens off-panel save the last one where Artemis beats her. 😑😑😑😑😑

Oh, and um yeah OTHER things too with a little OOC Cass is in the issue. But hey the net positive was Soy would draw Cass with a far better writer a few years later.

So yeah, on the bright side, Tynion always hyped up #950 as the start of a Cass-centric arc and is reunited with the artist who drew the best issue of Batman & Robin Eternal (#14), Marcio Takara and we get Christian Duce's first-time drawing Cass here too!

There are still a lot of pros and cons with this particular arc. The biggest pro is the opening issue to the prologue to the arc. Being told via Cass's eyes per say with the narration boxes capturing the turmoil but not her voice.

It's different than how Kelley Puckett went with in Batgirl Vol. 1, not the better ground Sarah Kuhn had with Shadow of the Batgirl, and not crazy north to where Batgirls went with their narration (who was the narrator of that series again?) this is more the middle ground.

For the story itself, it does work. Just it's also 💔cause almost ALL of this relating to Cass is never fully followed up on here (until the Batman & Outsiders volume a year after this run).

But other beats such as Cass's relationship with Harper Row are just dropped completely after this point. Like, Harper just shows up one more time during this run (in Steph's subplot which is rushed to heck).

But it's not just Harper who gets dropped after this arc. The story also introduces Christine Montclair, a ballerina, who Cass idolizes and might crush on.

It's an obvious play of the "Phantom of the Opera." With Cass being the Phantom.

Christine really does help Cass, and just when you think she's gonna show up more in this run (or even elsewhere involving Cass). We really never see her again. She does give Cass the pep-talk that's needed, but that's it.

Feels like a sad waste of story potential. I digress we're nearing the point of this run where Tynion had to cut A LOT of fat. Given, he was leaving this comic to become the lead writer on Justice League Dark, and the "Rebirth" era was ending.

Maybe this was some of that "fat"? I'm just surprised no future writer picked up Christine or added her to the Batgirls supporting cast. In a way, Cass's interest in ballet somewhat wanned after this arc too (with only Black Label BoP covering it and WFA).

I still think there's potential there for Christine to be a supporting cast member filling the void Brenda left.

But what we have here with Christine is still quite good, the best moments of the arc humanizing and getting through the problems Cass faces in this arc.

Even if ironically, Christine's mental teacher was a book by Carolyn Wu-San (again a subplot we never ever see picked up).

Still, this arc brings back the "Rebirth" method of putting back stuff. This case is Lady Shiva being Cass's mom, and them having to fight.

I digress the idea did hype me up slightly at the time.

Just in the end, there's no real dimension here to either. Shiva finds out, still decides to nuke Gotham to screw Ra's over. Basically, the stereotypical "murder mom" behavior that a lot of us criticized. That's been righted but hoping that the new Batgirl ongoing fully answers.

Cass finds out that she is brokenhearted and that her mom is Lady Shiva. But there's never any real means to establish the "how".

Cass finds out, is 💔at the revelation, and barely has time to interact fully with Shiva before it's taken away. Even the fight with Shiva has no real sauce or even clear indication like Batgirl Vol. 1 #25 or even #73.

That's not even accounting the ending with Shiva getting shot, rattling words (that were a location code), and a subplot Tynion had to drop.

So the positives for the arc are still there. #1 being the big fight in #955 vs. the Shadows and the hype Tynion lays the groundwork in the prior issue giving Cass her "Wolverine" moment in full.

It's an epic moment. Still drives a chill done my spine. Likewise the entire fight vs. all the ninjas. Takara really just shines with the art in #955. Like the fight is just stunning.

That leads into the problem with the Orphan identity as the cracks are in this issue particularly were they develop as Cass's answer to who she is to Christine is, her name. Not Orphan.

I can go into that, but that's more to one of my past series I dwell on that on why the Orphan codename became dated.

Another bit that works well is the friendship between Cass/Basil really begins to shine further here and it just reaches its apex of positive emotions in the next arc.

The final thing which I find underrated is how Kate becomes the unwilling mentor figure (given Babs is pushed away from having this relationship with Cass). It's an interesting dynamic that could've added more tragedy to what is to come with them.

The Batman stuff is gold here too. Again solidifies the fatherly stuff we had in the past with Cass. The only problem is other than this run only four writers would further this.

So yeah, this arc is a mixed bag of good and bad. I cannot fault Tynion fully that he never fully realized the arc's full potential cause well DC was gonna DC.

As it stands the "League of Shadows" arc is just a good read to have. Funny enough what truly is the pathos to Cass is what is to come.

That being Cass/Basil, as their friendship really moves the subplots going forward. Basil helps Cass with her reading disability. Cass helps him with the bad side of Clayface showing up. It's a nice two-way streak of them being there for the other.

On the action front, we get probably the best fight in the series. A brutal 1 v 2 fight between a brainwashed Azrael vs. Kate/Cass (#961). Again, the fight is just nasty and again gets her mask torn. But it is the recurring theme of this run. Cass's mask gotta be torn.

But it's after this arc with Azrael, that Tynion is just rushing through trying to end as many subplots he can at this point to reach his climax.

We get moments between Cass/Basil sprinkled throughout (her being his rock when he almost goes back to villainy). Plus the whole Tim reunited with her and then Steph.

But it's all setting up to the next big stepping stone which is the second Victim Syndicate arc where now they're not just targeting Steph, but also Basil.

Man this arc, while the Steph stuff doesn't hit as clean (given how Tynion rushed through her subplot), the Cass/Basil stuff with it given all this time.

It STILL slaps hard to the face when they force Clayface to rage out in #972. The only one in his way in #973---

Even rereading it, it's like something you're like Cass, just hoping Kate doesn't pull that trigger and well... yeah. It hits and it hurts.

I try looking at what comes next from the perspective of well Cass not having that symbol. If you go with her wanting to achieve what Bruce/Kate/Babs have. Kate breaking the rule. It really hits that Kate betrayed her student here.

I do wish Tynion was given just a tiny bit more room to breathe. Because we never really get them mending here after this. It's just dropped and mended offscreen between the two (probably the only rare miss Alyssa Wong had when writing both).

Though with Tynion ending Kate's mentorship with Cass, he adds one final Rebirth layer: Babs mentoring Cass. We get the seeds in #975.

It's a GOOD idea, and something Hill does follow up on in his Tec arc. However, I just get the feeling with Rebirth ending, and Dan DiDio getting back fully in power from Geoff Johns. That well... certain edicts DiDio had prior between Cass/Babs came back.

Cause A LOT of this stuff was reburied and Cass didn't get to be with Babs until two years later (and when a certain someone was fired from DC Comics).

But enough what "could've been". What about Tynion's final arc on the series? It surprisingly still has a lot of Cass. Like at this point she's really the female lead of the book with Kate taking a backseat at this point.

I mean she's really all over the place in the arc. Starting with still recovering from Basil's death, and we get an amusing moment between her and Tim. Probably the last sibling moment (other than WFA).

It's just a cute moment, and well is bookended with Tim getting turned into an O.M.A.C. and Cass jobbing (cause she's nowhere in the right mindset at this point). But it leads her to Bruce and then Steph. And we get the next big moment.

I'm not gonna cover the "lie" moment aka a pantless future Cass fighting a shirtless Ra's. No, I'm gonna go right into Tynion's final critique on both Cass/Steph in #980.

We all know it.

Both are shown what was "taken". Their years of being Batgirls and Robin. I do still love each panel represents an actual story for the two. Something lost and taken by the New 52.

I feel like at this point, Tynion was just exhausted with the mental hoops he had to deal with regarding both characters, and this was his final response having both see what they can still have.

It feels like where Tynion wanted to put the two, but couldn't (cause DiDio gonna DiDio), but still left the seeds enough for Cass to know what she is.

Again, making the whole Orphan identity more pointless at this point.

But on the bright side you can look at these last bits and given what we know what occurs in Batman: Joker War. That Tynion was all, "Well, if you want a job done right. You got to do it yourself." Putting all this history back in.

In the end, you can look back at the run and see those positives which then occur less than two years later. This is still a flawed run, but with all the unknowns that were probably heaped on the writer.

It does hold up in other areas. Out of the team, Cass really was one of the few who really got the 👑in being the reason this run is remembered most. She does get A LOT of good moments in the series.

The really good moments are still really good. Just the bad? Well, just take it for what DC was at that time. Still, flawed (given WHO was still lingering around the company at the time), but almost there.

Though I find the Joker ongoing Tynion's best Batman work, this is probably his more entertaining one. Everyone gets a moment to shine (even if it's rushed).

This is still a better top to bottom Batman run compared to its counterpart which tripped and fell at the end (Tom King's Batman run).

So what you think about this run? Has it aged more gracefully like a wine? Or like milk? I'm really curious of thoughts of this run given where we are now with the character.

#cassandra cain #dc comics #detective comics #my thoughts

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3terna15unshin3 · 1 year ago

Text

Connected

—

A/N: idea came from this ask, so thank u anon🥰🥰 it was so fun to think of how Matty and Este’s relationship was seen from the other side like what fans pick up on, and also establish how much they decide to share with fans vs keep to themselves. this concept is so interesting to me but i had a hard time writing from the pov of a fan hahaha so i just did it this way instead :))

This obvs is based heavily on TBSG lore so none of this makes sense if you haven’t read the main fic - go do that first!! and also check out the Instagram AUs, they add to the pizazz

—

“Love, look what I just saw on Twitter. This is hilarious.”

Este points her phone screen towards Matty as they sit in bed on a Sunday morning. He yawns, tired and still half asleep, then blinks his eyes a few times to read what she’s showing him. It’s a tweet from a fan that sits in her mentions from a couple of days ago when a clip from his Zane Lowe interview resurfaced.

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

thinking about the fact that matty mentioned meeting e.manansala when she worked at a bookstore in manc to zane and in this 2018 interview he said his fav spot in the city is Greenhouse Books …….. what are the chances this is the same bookstore bc that would be so😭😭😭💔💔💔💔 https://manchesterwire.co.uk/?s=matty+healy+give-yourself-a-try/arts&culture/article

jaymie SAW UNDO LIVE trmanb1ackk

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND

Hold on you might be onto something

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

→ Replying to trmanb1ackk

right like okaayyy bookstore worker x customer to lovers notting hill pipeline????? 🤭 huge if true

She watches his eyes scan over the text and a fuzzy smile grow on his face. Matty loves talking about Este when he can—to bring some much deserved attention to her writing—and did so often, but does’t always mention many the details of their relationship. That was until strolling around the Northern Quarter with Zane brought a bit of it out of him.

Este is what brings him back to Manchester the most often, from visiting her family and Cate and Georgia to just needing a bit of a homey feeling from its familiar pubs and nostalgic shops. So, naturally, Matty talked about her in the interview done for the release of Being Funny—explaining how they’d met and how much the city means to them both.

“How they put two and two together is beyond me,” he says, scratching his head. “That Manchester Wire interview was five years ago now, you know. Did you ever read that?”

She chuckles. “Course I did! We had a few fans come in that summer with the sole intention of coming to a place you recommended, actually.”

“Why have you never told me that?” Matty asks, “You’re welcome for the business, by the way.”

“You never even told me about your little shout out, to be fair. I had to find out on my own,” Este teases. “Plus, we weren’t even a thing at that point—we’d met once! Quite creepy, in retrospect.”

“When you put it like that it’s honestly so cringe so please change the subject now.” Matty buries his head in the bunches of sheets that sit in her lap, embarrassed and frankly too sleepy to defend himself.

Este giggles, letting her hands settle into his curls. “Oh c’mon, you weren’t cringe. I’m just pulling your leg. It was sweet,” she reassures him.

“You’re just saying that because you feel bad,” he whines, then rubs his eyes to try and get the sleep out of them. “That’s so crazy that they dug that up, though. I’m not sure if many people know you’ve been around since then.”

“They probably looked at your life in 2019 and figured you were a rockstar with a new girl in every city but in reality you were calling me to get to sleep every night and doing origami in your free time because it reminded you of me.”

Matty’s jaw drops at her blunt comments. “I was about to get mad but I can’t even disagree.” He sits up, raking the hair out of his eyes. “Do people still use the word ‘simp’? Can that be applied to this situation? Was I a simp?”

She throws her head back, mouth wide, as she laughs at how ridiculous his question is.

“Please don’t say ‘simp’, love. You’re 34.” Este squeezes out between her giggles, “But no, people don’t use that word anymore. And yes it can be applied. And also yes, you were. And still are.”

“Proudly am,” he adds.

She leans into his side and he snakes his arm around her waist. They sit there, Matty only in a pair of pyjama pants and her an oversized tee, scrolling through the funny replies to the tweet and how big of a deal some fans were making it.

“You should respond. Tell Megs that she’s right.”

“Seriously?” Este asks, shocked that he’d want her to engage in something so meaningless and speculative.

But alas, he nods casually with a smile. “Yeah. They seem sweet, and just curious. And maybe being such a simp will give me some brownie points,” confirms Matty.

“God, enough of that word!”

Este e.manansala

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND

Can confirm🤝

liv livmymistake_

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND and e.manansala

MEGS OH MY GOD

Jude 🥾🌎 ittsjudesk

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND and e.manansala

UMMMMMMMMMMM

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

→ Replying to e.manansala

omg hi😭😭😭 are being fr i can’t cope

Este e.manansala

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND

Greenhouse is the bookstore i worked at and is where matty and i met that year:)) and hi💌

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

→ Replying to e.manansala

i think i’m psychic for guessing that🤭🤭🤭🤭

—

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

k now i’m going crazy bc i had no clue him and este had been dating for that long💀 was genuinely convinced it had been 3 years max

Jude 🥾🌎 ittsjudesk

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND

Literally they didn’t post each other until like 2020

sarah🧸 _102sar

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND

I think she was at the 2018 Pryzm show too. Not sure but I was at the after party and remember seeing her there lol

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

→ Replying to _102sar

WHAT…….. this lore being uncovered omg

“Someone recognises you from the Brief Inquiry album release show?!” exclaims Matty in disbelief. “There’s no way.”

They still sit in bed as Este types away, having fun interacting with the small group. He leans his head on her shoulder and watches her as she does it.

“They’ve known you longer than I have, you know. They know their stuff,” she responds.

“Even I don’t remember you being at the Pryzm show.”

Este’s mouth falls open in shock, thoroughly offended. “You prick.”

“I’m joking!” Matty defends through fits of laughter. “C’mon E, I’m joking.”

She knows he is, but enjoys the theatrics of it all; shoving his head off her shoulder and scooting away from his touch in protest.

“That was a special night for me! The first time I saw you play and met the guys! Don’t make fun!” Este pouts, crossing her arms playfully.

“Fine. I take it back, I take it back,” Matty begs, dragging her back over to him and bringing her legs over top of his. He grabs her hand and places a kiss on her palm. “I remember meeting Cate, and introducing you to Louis. And Ross making fun of my gallbladder surgery, and leaving Cate on the dance floor to get drinks, and screaming at each other over the music at the bar. You telling me about the anniversary party. I very much remember!”

“Okay, okay. Enough gushing. I forgive you.”

Matty pecks her palm once more and shuffles her even closer. “Open Twitter back up. This is fun.”

Jude 🥾🌎 ittsjudesk

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND and _102sar

This is absolutely shocking bc how did his chronically online ass manage to hide a whole gf that long

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

→ Replying to ittsjudesk

fr!!! like do we think she was on the abiior tour with them bc i swear jordan absolutely fed us with so much bts content it would be impossible to miss?? someone dig

sarah🧸 _102sar

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1D and ittsjudesk

If u scroll back on her IG u can see Matty in her comments since then. And they’d repost each other on their stories and stuff🥲 So not that hidden if ur a stalker like me lmao

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

→ Replying to _102sar

thoroughly upset that i missed so much bf matty content </3

Este e.manansala

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND and _102sar

Ignore me stalking u🤭🤭 i was indeed at that Pryzm show lol but we weren’t dating yet. And during abiior tour I saw a few UK shows but otherwise i was just in Manc working/being a bad groupie x

Este e.manansala

→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND

Also matty is sitting beside me now and he is cool with me filling u in (it was his idea) and he says hi. and that u guys are cute

megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND

→ Replying to e.manansala

ohhh yes u are a working woman how could i forget!! bookstore worker/groupie same difference. thank u for responding😭 u are the coolest❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 (also hi matty😳)

Jude 🥾🌎 ittsjudesk

→ Replying to e.manansala

Hi Matty sorry for calling u chronically online x

Este e.manansala

→ Replying to ittsjudesk

He forgives you (but it’s true imo)

liv livmymistake_

→ Replying to e.manansala

este wait i have to know …. since u are a former bookstore girlie turned writer are u the reason matty periodically spam posts a bunch of literature on his instagram stories???? did u convert him to bookstoregirlieism??

Este e.manansala

→ Replying to livmymistake_

I am obsessed with the idea that he was illiterate before meeting me so i’m gonna say yes. thank u for that

Este e.manansala

→ Replying to livmymistake_

Liv it’s me I stole the phone and don’t appreciate this sentiment tbh. You should know I’ve always been a wanker so all the literature spams are just me letting that out and este just enables me. hope that helps x Matty

#is this even good???? i’m spiralling #like why do i feel like it isn’t giving anything.#tbsg #meste blurb #blurb #matty healy #the 1975 #matty healy fanfiction #the 1975 fanfiction #matty healy x oc #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy fanfic #fanfiction #fluff

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loquaciousquark · 3 months ago

Text

From @maybethings and @blackestnight: wallflower

From @compels and anonymous: daffodil-flavored spider flower

Wallflower: fidelity in misfortune or adversity

Daffodil: new beginnings

Spider flower: elope with me

And you thought the last fill was indulgent. Have some utterly unrelenting sap, and then an argument, and then more sap. 5800 words.

Gradually, over the course of several minutes, Tav became aware of the fact that she was happy.

Only a handful of times in her memory had she recognized the contentment as it happened. Mostly the realization had come only with idle retrospection—tendays, months, years later—and with a bitter nostalgia that it had all slipped by so easily, without her noticing.

Not this time, though. This time, with Astarion’s cool arms twined around her shoulders, her head tucked firmly against his chest, and their limbs tangled up in both luxurious satin sheets and afterglow, Tav was happy and she knew it.

Gods. Lliira herself would struggle to match this joy, surely. Tav trailed her fingers idly up Astarion’s arm, then cupped his cheek as she kissed the underside of his chin. He gave a drowsy, questioning hum, tightened his arms around her, and buried his nose in her hair with a frank fondness that nearly finished her off altogether.

Tav grappled with her own instinct to succumb, to lay her head back down against his chest and let his shallow, steady breathing carry her off to sleep. The question won, but barely. “Astarion?”

“Hmm?”

Even his voice was relaxed. She felt like she’d chucked a rock at a window to watch it shatter. “Never mind. I’ll go to sleep.”

Astarion’s laugh was a quiet rumble in his throat. “It’s rude to tease if you don’t mean to follow through, darling. Out with it.”

“Oh, hells.”

Tav sat up beside him. The loss of contact was almost painful, but the curiosity was stronger still, and he didn’t seem to mind when she ran her fingers through his hair and tucked a curl behind his ear, only hummed and leaned into the touch. Such a simple affection. Such an honest, simple—

“I enjoyed today,” she said instead, ruthlessly crushing the sentiment. “From start to finish. I had a wonderful time with you.”

“Oh?”

“Mm. I wasn’t sure this morning, when—well, you know—”

“When the door to the bath gave way?” His red eyes flashed with amusement, and Tav groaned. Even now heat rushed to her throat at the memory. A perfectly innocent morning tryst in their room’s private adjoining bath, dawnlight spilling over them both amid the smell of cardamom and jasmine—and the room’s very locked door yielding to a housemaid’s key, followed immediately by the housemaid herself with a stack of laundered towels. Tav didn’t know which of them had been more shocked, though the fact that Tav had nearly drowned herself out of humiliation put the betting odds firmly in her corner. Astarion, of course, had found the whole thing hilarious, even sitting naked in a soapy copper tub.

“Yes, you bastard,” Tav said, covering his eyes with her fingers. “You horrible man. Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’ll laugh at you whenever I like,” Astarion said archly, pulling her hand from his eyes, but his mouth as he kissed her fingertips was gentle. “Besides, you had your little revenge, didn’t you? Your own private prayer to Helm, right in the middle of that lovely expensive market.”

“Hoar, you blaspheming tosser.”

“I don’t care in the slightest.” He pushed up on one elbow to kiss her, very brief and very light, just as her own fingers had been as they’d dipped into his pockets that morning, exchanging every gem and jewel he’d lifted from the shop’s cases for pebbles and bits of broken shell. His face as they’d left the shop—preening pride replaced in an instant with utter indignance—had made her laugh hard enough she’d cried. “I’ll have my own revenge, you know,” he purred. “Try and stop me.”

“Never,” she said against his mouth. He laughed again, then flopped back to the tasseled pillow, one arm thrown carelessly above his head.

Gods, how beautiful he was like this. Happy, sated, boneless as a sack of meal. She could drink in the sight of him for a thousand years and still be thirsty at the end of it.

“You’re staring, darling.”

“I love you,” she said, as if in explanation, and felt him give the little shiver he always did when she said she loved him and meant it. “You were the most handsome man in the room tonight, you know. Not that you need me to tell you.”

“I think I’d like you to tell me anyway.”

The words were breezy, but she could hear the faint, tremulous thread of uncertainty beneath. Even Sune’s woven sash couldn’t contain how much she loved him. She wanted to curl over him like a bird, wings spread wide as she could to keep him from all harm. Not that he’d tolerate that sort of glossy protection; he’d just as soon take a hissing, clawed swipe at her himself if she tried. Instead Tav kissed his forehead, then the tip of his nose, and pushed up from the bed.

His voice was outraged. “And where do you think you’re going?”

“Just give me a minute, would you?” Tav stretched, took brief advantage of the silver ewer on the bedside table to clean herself off, and strode over to the quietly crackling hearth.

The fireplace was beautiful, the mantle ornate and elegant, as was the rest of their rented room. The finest suite of the finest lodging-house in the glittering city of Athkatla, decked crown to baseboard in brass and cloth-of-gold and carved oak polished to a mirror shine. Three servants had spirited away their belongings into drawers and wardrobes within minutes of their arrival; two more waited below-stairs, ready for the whim of the bellpull beside the bed. The great window on the west wall, heavy curtains drawn now with night, overlooked the shining bay, which had teemed in the sun this afternoon with merchant-ships flying flags dyed rich as gemstones.

And here, thrown with thoughtless grace over the back of the damask armchair set before the fire, was Astarion’s suit from their evening gala. It was one of her favorites: black worsted wool with gold peacocks stitched over the breast and back, gold piping on the sleeves and belt, more black and gold stitchwork accenting the long, lean cut of his trousers. He’d worn the sapphires she’d given him at his throat and on his fingers, alongside the ring from Avernus which he never removed, and when she’d seen him come from the bathing room fully dressed, idly adjusting a cufflink just so, her mouth had gone dry as the Skyfire Wastes.

Gods, she was flushing now at the memory alone. Tav plucked the trousers from the chair and folded them, along with the starched, ruffled white shirt he’d worn beneath the coat, and set them both atop the gilt table nearby. The jacket itself she slipped over her own shoulders in a moment of fancy. The sleeves were long enough to drown her hands past the fingertips; the hem landed halfway down her thighs. The brass toggles glanced coolly against her bare chest and stomach, like stones skipping down a stream. She turned to Astarion, arms spread. “I don’t think it has the same effect, do you?”

“No, my sweet,” Astarion said slowly, but his eyes had sharpened to a piercing, avid stare, dangerous and hungry as a blade. “I can’t say it’s the same at all.”

Her stomach lurched wonderfully, and a frisson of that same desire from only an hour ago began to coil again in her blood. But she had a point, gods damn, and instead Tav scooped up her own forgotten dress from the floor beside the chair, busying herself with brushing away the dust from the deep cerulean silk, straightening the beautiful lace netting at the wide collar, at the cuffs of the long sleeves. A thousand pearl buttons down the back, and Astarion’s elegant fingers trembling, trembling, as he feverishly worked them open before the fireplace…

“The silk’s already crushed, darling. No need to maim it further.”

Tav laughed, the reverie broken, and eased her grip on the gown. “I told you I didn’t know how to care for such expensive things. I should have hung it up right away.”

The fire in his eyes had tempered, the lust banked to something more patient and smoldering. He propped his head on his hand as he watched her. “And deprive the laundresses of their sole joy and purpose? No, pet, I think your time was much better spent.” He licked his lips lasciviously. “Perhaps I could remind you again. Right now.”

“Do you remember that woman from the party?” Tav said instead, returning the dress to its padded hanger, shutting it away in a wardrobe carved with foxes and hunting dogs. “The one with the silver feathers in her hair, and the necklace made of ropes of rubies?”

His look flickered with surprise, but he only raised a brow. “I suppose she left a vague impression. Painted nails, a very tacky sort of fur stole. A general air of grasping desperation. This is whom you’ve been pondering so acutely all evening?”

“Yes. No. Not all evening.” Tav rolled up her too-long sleeves and went to the sideboard. She poured herself a glass of burgundy wine from a crystal decanter, took a sip, and leaned against the back of the armchair. “She was the richest woman in the room. Did you know that? She could buy every gem in the Diamond Dragon twice over without denting her fortune in the slightest. She practically holds court at the Shadowgates House, even though her mother was only a minor marchioness from the Lathkule family.”

“How suddenly you’ve acquired all this information.”

“The duke from Tarm was very drunk and very eager to share.” She took another sip of wine, considering him. “She fell in love with you the moment you walked through the door.”

“Did she?” Ah, there was the badly hidden triumph. He ran his fingers through his curls with absent flair. “Well! Perhaps her taste isn’t beyond redemption.”

“You didn’t notice? She stared at you all night, along with her little flock of gauzy geese. They might have had fishing lines hooked to their noses for how they followed you the whole evening.”

“No, my dear, I can’t say I did.” His expression was at once gloating and aggrieved. “This delightful little tidbit came to you from your Tarmian duke as well, I suppose?”

“No.” Tav was now hiding behind her wineglass like a coward, and she knew it. “She told me that part herself. Right before she offered me fifteen thousand gold danters to leave you and never show my face in Athkatla again.”

All the mirth drained from his expression like she’d opened a tap. He fell carefully, precisely still; his tone went sharp as flint. “Oh? Is that so?”

“I’m afraid it is.”

“And what did you say, my love?”

“I said that I’d sooner drink from a Luskan gutter than consider something so despicable. I said if she ever spoke to either of us again I’d have her face plastered on every public placard from here to the Gate with her direct address and a golden promise to the first person to pinch her jewel-case.” Tav gave a crooked smile. “I wanted to tell her that she was now banned from our duchy, only I couldn’t remember where we’d said we were from.”

“Selgaunt, darling. Sembia.” His eyes glittered dangerously. “And then?”

“And then I stole two of her ruby chains and hid them in the pudding, and I slit the lacings of her gown so that it would all come loose the next time she danced.”

“That explains the flurry of organza during the second gavotte. I did wonder. Come here.”

Her heart in her throat, Tav set down the wineglass and went. Astarion pushed aside the satin sheets and sat up on the edge of the bed as she approached, and as soon as she was within reach he grasped the collar of her borrowed jacket and pulled her down into a kiss.

It was a searching kiss, a question she didn’t know quite how to answer. She tried anyway, cupping his face in both hands, curling her shoulders into him, lingering as long as she could in every touch. His hands gentled on her collar, then slid beneath it to twine around the back of her neck.

Eventually, slowly, he pulled away. Tav blinked dazedly, trying to force the world back into focus, and when she found Astarion’s face again she was surprised to see only a thoughtful appraisal there. His thumb stroked up the line of her throat, bumping over the small divots left among her freckles from many quiet evenings, then down again.

“Astarion? What is it?”

“Fifteen thousand gold danters,” he said slowly, that eyebrow rising once more.

“By all the pride of Memnor,” she sighed. “Don’t tell me you’re going to be smug.”

“Oh? Shouldn’t I be?” He laughed and slid his hands down to loop around her waist beneath the jacket. “To think, the greediest little wretch I’ve ever known still manages to prize my heart above enough coin to buy a small nation. Darling, it’s gratifying, truly.”

“Oh,” she said, momentarily disarmed. She’d expected him to be pleased the woman had offered the sum in the first place, not that Tav had loved him enough to reject it. “Astarion, did you—you can’t have thought for a single moment I’d have taken the money.”

“Of course not. I’m worth at least twice that.”

By all the living gods. He was lying.

Her vision went white, and she yanked away from him like he’d burst into flame. “You bastard. You utter wanker. How dare you think I’d have considered fifteen thousand—thirty thousand—a million gold danters! She could have offered me the keys to all the vaults of Evereska and I would have laughed in her face.”

“For suggesting you needed keys, I’d have laughed right along with you.”

“Shut up. How dare you think there might ever be a price to be put on what we—what we’ve managed, against all odds—” Tav whirled away, arms crossed tight over her chest, gaze darting blindly over the settee, the crystal decanter, the plush hand-dyed rug. She ran out of things to look at and spun back to Astarion, livid. “You bloody—horrible man. Oh, you awful—not even she made me this angry when she asked. I wanted to laugh when she said it. Because the moment she did I looked over at you, and you smiled at me, and I could tell just from looking that you were—that you were happy to see me—really, honestly happy, and I thought—”

“Tavish—”

“Don’t speak. Don’t you dare say a word.” He looked seriously alarmed now, half-risen from the bed, but Tav was too angry to stop. “She asked me how much it would take for me to leave my husband. And in all the confusion of what she wanted I didn’t even question it—didn’t even consider it wasn’t really true. I forgot how much was the party mask and how much was real. She didn’t know the marriage was pretense and for a few minutes, neither did I.”

“Tav, darling—”

“And then when I did realize—when I remembered it was all a farce and that you weren’t really—” She raked her fingers through her hair, dislodging the knot she’d tied, and wound it back up in a frenzy. “Today was so wonderful, Astarion. All of it. The stupid incident in the bath and walking with you through the market district and stealing your lifts and every single second of that awful party. Not because of what we did—but because it was all with you. She asked me to leave my husband and my first thought wasn’t ‘I haven’t got one,’ it was ‘nothing could make me leave him.’ And then when I remembered it wasn’t real, I was shocked by how much I felt—how much I wanted—”

Ilmater’s rack, what she wouldn’t give for the ceiling to crash down around her. Astarion was watching her with wide eyes, lips parted enough she could see the tips of his fangs; his hands were clenched in the sheets. Oh, gods, what a fool she was making of herself, but the words refused to be still. “I love you, you stupid berk. I love you. Every moment I spend with you makes me happy. Even right now, when I’d like to throw you right out the window into the bay—there’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be. Not for any number of danters, not for every diamond in Amn. I don’t want to be your wife as a lie to get into a ball; I want to be your wife so that the next time someone tries to buy you away from me, I can introduce his teeth to the back of his skull.”

Astarion gave a sudden, hollow sigh. She’d heard it before. It was the sound he made in battle when someone struck the air from his lungs without warning, when he’d failed to anticipate a blow.

Damn and damn and damn. What was she doing? Astarion stared at her as if she’d lost every last part of her mind, his shoulders stone-stiff against her wrath, blank shock painted across his features. His eyebrows had climbed so high they’d nearly disappeared behind the white curls.

Tav’s courage failed like a withered spell. She went back to the sideboard and refilled her wineglass with shaking hands—for the price they were charging a nonexistent duchess, she supposed it had to be excellent—and threw it back in two gulps. Perhaps she had lost her mind. She’d certainly lost her tongue, a lifetime of professional silence capsizing wholesale against some hurt feelings and a little annoyance.

At last she heard him rise, then a whispering shift of silk as he pulled on the ornate dressing gown the servants had laid out for him. She filled her wineglass a third time, but his pale, graceful fingers plucked it from her hand before she could drink. She didn’t fight the theft, but neither was she strong enough to face him; she took a few aimless steps towards the fire instead, her toes sinking into the rich carpet, and wrapped Astarion’s jacket more tightly around her.

The sound of the water lapping against the seawall below them roared like thunder; the fire in the hearth snapped like a whip. She clenched her jaw, trying desperately to keep the waver from her voice. “Astarion. Do you really think I’m that craven?”

“Oh? Is the penitent finally permitted to address the bench?”

He was closer than she’d thought. “You’ve never been penitent in your life.”

“It’s exhausting to always be right. One occasionally must try something new.” He came around the chair to stand between her and the fire, the dressing gown’s quilted lapels pulled snug to his throat, his face carefully blank. His shoulders were thrown back, Tav realized, as if steeling himself for a fight. “I don’t think it’s unfair to suggest you have a particular relationship with the common coin. An avaricious one, I mean, and one that occasionally borders on gluttony.”

She wanted to drink something very badly, but he was still holding her wineglass. “Ouch.”

“Don’t misunderstand me; it’s part of your charm. I’m certainly familiar with insatiable appetites, and if nothing else, it makes holiday shopping for you quite simple.” He hesitated. “But to suggest you would permit your—hunger, shall we say—to overpower the affection I know you hold for me—well. It was an unworthy thought. Unkind of me, and certainly unfair to you.”

“More than affection,” Tav mumbled. She pressed her lips together until the prickling behind her eyes faded. “Astarion, I would never.”

“I know,” he said, and if she didn’t know better she would think he was flustered. “But the doubt does creep in every now and then, even for someone this magnificent. So you can imagine that when a perfectly straightforward scolding transfigures itself into one’s lover suggesting a very unexpected—a rather—not necessarily unwelcome—ah.”

He was flustered. And tongue-tied as a schoolboy, that awful impassive mask fracturing under the weight of consternation.

She swallowed. “You think I’m mad.”

“Only in some ways.”

“I suppose it does sound insane when I say it out loud. I don’t know if you—I mean, I’d never once thought about it before—before you. Ever. It always seemed like a thing that only happened to people who owned houses and went out to work every morning and complained about the cost of bread always going up. But then you came along and changed everything about what I thought could be real—” A humiliated laugh slipped out. “Listen, just—just forget the whole thing, all right? I won’t bring it up again. I won’t—”

He took a quick, irritated step forward. “My love, would you kindly shut up? I don’t have marriage proposed to me every day. I’d like to seriously consider it.”

He’d like to—oh.

Oh.

Tav took a stunned, shaky breath. “Well, think out loud then. I don’t propose it very often myself.”

“One hopes not.” He drained the wineglass and set it aside. His voice was pensive, unsteady; he hadn’t fed in almost a day, but his high cheekbones were flushed pink. “I do wonder, though—why now?”

Heart of the Firehair, he meant it. He wasn’t shutting her out; he wasn’t taking flight into the nearest alley. The words tumbled out like a dam had shattered. “Because—gods! Because that awful woman came after you tonight and I wanted to throttle her for trying, no matter how much money she had or how many nobles were watching. Because we’ve been traveling together for months at this point, and if I haven’t stopped loving you by now, I never will. You complain incessantly. You steal my scents. You take all the bedcovers every night and I have to fight you to get them back. You don’t even sleep.”

“Darling, I had no idea you held me in such esteem.”

She batted away his sarcasm. “I wouldn’t change a moment of it, Astarion. Not a single moment. Every gripe, every time I wake up with cold feet, every time I have to steal back something of mine from your pack—it’s all—they’re like jewels to me. Every one of them. I keep—I’ve been hoarding them up like treasures, and it’s not enough, it’s never—I only ever want more. More of the memories. More of you, no matter how much I have already. Even a lifetime wouldn’t be enough.”

Astarion had gone very still. The firelight caught in his red eyes and flickered there; she thought he had stopped breathing. Hesitantly, she closed the distance and took his hands, and she was relieved when his grip instantly tightened.

“Every time I think I’ve begun to understand you,” Astarion started, then trailed off. He looked down, and Tav watched him run his thumb over the ring she had brought him from Avernus, the ring that shielded him from the blinding sun. “My dear, you amaze me. And you tolerate the worst of me, which is rather more impressive.”

“Your worst is still miles better than some people’s best.”

“Let’s not exaggerate for the sake of adoration,” he said, but there was a warmth there that sparked a painful, fragile hope. “You know, I never considered holy matrimony for myself. Not seriously. Oh, I had it offered a few times over the decades, and I suggested it myself here and there as part of a lure, but it only takes a few dozen lovers disappearing into Cazador’s dungeons for the idea to become simply part of the stage dressing.”

Her instinct was to deflect, to retract the idea altogether, but his expression—curious, thoughtful, no fear at all—silenced her. “I’m afraid to admit, darling, that was true even for you. My first friend in two centuries; the first lover in my memory I’ve had the pleasure of enjoying more than once. It simply never crossed my mind.”

She brought his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles. His eyes softened considerably, and she realized he was breathing again. “I’m beginning to believe that may have been a mistake on my part,” he continued. “In fact, the lapse may have been unforgiveable.”

A thrill jolted through her. “Astarion…”

“It’s only very recently that I’ve permitted myself to imagine a future, you know. Any future at all, much less one with you in it.” His fingers slid along her wrist beneath the jacket’s overlong sleeves, and she realized he was searching for the old, faded marks of his own teeth. “But now that you’ve raised the possibility, I must confess the thought of a little formal acknowledgement of our arrangement—well, it might not be the worst idea you’ve ever had.”

Her hands were shaking. She felt like she was about to race into some great battle, her pulse thundering beneath her skin. “Oh, hells. Just say it straight out, would you?”

Astarion laughed. “I’m already terribly fond of the world knowing you’re mine,” he said, and then he smiled. It was a sweet, sincere smile, without any artifice at all, and his voice grew husky and tender. “And frankly, my love, when it comes down to it, I think I quite like the idea of being yours.”

The entire room seemed to dip underwater. All sound grew abruptly muffled—the hearth, the bay, even Astarion’s voice—and she clung to his cool hands as the only real thing in the world. Gradually, her own heartbeat began to thud again in her ears—very fast, very loud—and from the growing satisfaction on his face, Astarion could hear it too.

Tav forced herself to clear her throat. “You—you don’t have to decide right away. You could take some time, think it over.”

“My dear, I’m the first to admit I’m guilty of a great many things, but excessive planning is not one of them.” He draped her hands over his own shoulders, and Tav leaned into the embrace with a shudder of relief. The quilted lapels of his dressing gown were silky as sin against her cheek. “After two centuries of slavery, I hadn’t thought there were any surprises in the world left for me. I knew exactly what eternity looked like, and I couldn’t say I was excited at the prospect.”

His chin came to rest atop her head. “But you changed all that. You came and shattered every lock holding me down, even when the doors had been rusted shut so long I’d forgotten they were there. You didn’t just show me the possibility of a new world, you walked right into it beside me, and you refused to let me bring any of my chains with me on the way.”

Goldheart’s grace. He held her lightly, but Tav felt weightless as a bird, as if one strong breeze might carry her wholly off her feet. Her voice hardly sounded like her own. “You’re giving me a lot of credit for things you did yourself.”

“Don’t interrupt. You told me once that I was part of every future you could dream up for yourself. I’m trying to say that for some months now, I’ve had precisely the same notion about you.” He pulled back to look her in the eyes, and Tav realized with a shock that he was nervous. “You’re it, my darling. For better or worse.”

“Astarion,” Tav sighed, dizzy with joy, and she traced her thumbs over his beautiful cheekbones. “I love you so much more than fifteen thousand gold danters.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, oh, you louse. I wouldn’t give you up if Selûne herself spread the heavens at my feet.”

He laughed, but his arms tightened around her. “I rather like hearing that.”

“I mean it. If you ever again think for a single second that I’d simply trade you away, I’ll shave off every pomaded hair on your head. Eyebrows included.”

He made a noise of disgust, but when she twined her arms back around his neck, his smile squeezed Tav’s heart like a vise. She’d done that. She’d made him so happy he couldn’t hide it, had put that look of unvarnished, shining elation in his eyes. And if she had her way—if Tymora could spare them a single scrap of luck—she’d put it there again, and again and again, beyond counting, for the rest of her life.

His voice was low, rich. “Kiss me, darling.”

“Yes,” Tav gasped, and she surged up to his mouth.

Of course. Of course. Now she understood what he’d been searching for earlier, what her heart had fumbled to say. I’m here for good. Forever, for as long as you’ll have me. I’d have thrown her in the punchbowl if I’d thought we could get away after.

The kiss grew hot, her urgency flooding through every touch. He cradled her face like he was afraid to break her, but his fangs were sharp and pricking carelessly, and she didn’t care, she didn’t care. She loved his fangs and his temper and his complaints and every part of his bruised, scarred heart. He’d let her take it from him despite the pain, let her cup it in the cage of her fingers and hold it close, let her learn to keep it safe from all the world.

It will always be you. I will always, always, always choose you.

Astarion broke away, breathing hard. His palm rested along her throat, pressed to the hammer of her heartbeat. Tav laid her hand over his and couldn’t tell who trembled more.

“How lucky I am. The handsomest man I’ve ever seen, the most beautiful person in the room.” She hesitated, then blazed forward. “Mine for good.”

“For good, for bad, and for all the fun parts between.” He rested his forehead against hers and shut his eyes. “My lovely, foolish, perfect idiot. Impossible fortune may have finally found one of us, but I promise it wasn’t you.”

Her heart brimmed full enough to burst. She kissed him again instead, as tender as she knew how to make it. He made a soft, fervent, wanting noise as he pressed eagerly back against her, and she felt the moment settle itself like stained glass, beautiful and enduring, in the deepest part of her heart.

Yes. She’d make sure this moment stayed. This one would never slip away.

“I don’t have a ring yet,” she said at last against his mouth. “I’ll get one soon. Perhaps I’ll even pay for it.”

“You’ll do no such thing. Between your Reithwin scavenging and your little field trip to Avernus, it is decidedly my turn. Besides,” he added with faint uncertainty, “I think I’d rather like to do this properly. To have something made for you—only for you. Something that’s as beautiful as you are.”

“Astarion!”

“Oh, I quite mean it. If I failed to notice that covetous harpy at the gala tonight, it was because my attention was wholly absorbed by you. You were as brilliant as the sun, my dear, and lovelier than a waterfall of roses. I could hardly bear to look away.”

“Sune’s holy laurels,” Tav gasped, and she clutched at her chest. “You can’t just say things like that. You’ll kill me stone dead.”

His smile was smug and perfect. “You’ll have to get used to it, I’m afraid. You have a lifetime to try. And if you’re still not acclimated by the end of it—well! You’ll simply have to live forever.”

Tav brushed a wayward curl from his eyes. He let her, and she lingered, running her fingers through his velvet-soft hair. “I’m sorry I shouted at you.”

“And I ought not have doubted. I sincerely apologize.” He turned his head and kissed her fingertips. “There. Such a sturdy foundation for our future laid already.”

“You idiot,” Tav sighed, but his hands were playing now at the hem of her borrowed jacket, and his crimson eyes had taken on an unmistakable glint. All the ornate luxury of their suite seemed to vanish at once, save the enormous crown-canopy bed and its tousled satin sheets. His hands climbed further, his mouth dipping to her throat, and she gave a breathless laugh. “We’ll have to watch the time.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“I overheard the house staff after dinner tonight. They’re bringing the bill first thing in the morning.”

“Darling, I can’t say I care in the slightest.” His fangs scraped over her pulse-point, and she shuddered. “Perhaps we’ll sneak out before they arrive. Perhaps we won’t. Perhaps you’ll talk them down with that silver tongue of yours—or perhaps we’ll simply pay what they ask, hm? It might be a novel experience.”

The happiness was so bright she could hardly speak. How stupid that she had thought the day wonderful before, when it had only been the palest candle. His voice was fiercely warm, blatantly affectionate, and his hands sliding the black jacket from her shoulders were gentle enough to give her goosebumps.

Astarion, who could kill a man with a knife at sixty paces and complain about a chipped nail after; Astarion, who’d fought with her and for her from the moment they’d met, who loved her and would make a ring for her and marry her. Who trusted her, enough to kill the doubt for good.

She took his face in her hands. “I’ll never pay full price,” she breathed.

He laughed, delighted, and kissed her. His strong, graceful fingers slid between hers, taking her hand as surely as he’d stolen her heart, as surely as he’d given her his own in its place: the most perfect treasure she could imagine, no matter its cold stillness. Like a dream, the question that had started all this—the question she’d never actually asked—floated back through her mind. I had a wonderful time with you today. And you, Astarion? Did you, with me?

He tugged her down to the bed in a cloud of satin sheets. The answer burst through every stroke of his fingers, every careful brush of his lips. Yes, he said, yes, yes, and she gave herself up to the joy.

—

end.

#astarion #tav #baldur's gate 3 #tavstarion #i think i have enough prompts left to do one more fill #and then i'll put them all up on ao3!#i initially thought i'd do a prompt collections because the previous two were shorter but honestly at this point i'll probably just do #standalone oneshots #keep an eye out!#quark writes #flower prompt meme #caretaker meme

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tobiasdrake · 6 months ago

Note

Okay, your post on Videl got me thinking of Lunch again. She was one of the highlights of Dragonball for me, and she just, didn't exist in Z? Outside of a brief appearance at the end of the anime. Do you have any interesting thoughts on her?

Lunch was mostly a combination of two jokes, one of which is gross and the other of which is hysterical.

As a character, Lunch was mostly relegated to two bits. For the first, I think it was a popular gag in 80's and 90's anime to have an elderly pervert try to pull shit on young women only to face violent comeuppance. I remember seeing this in quite a bit of anime back in the day, and that's precisely the gag that the Muten-Roshi came to center around.

This is precisely what Lunch was originally introduced for. A sweet and unassuming woman that Roshi could perv on....

Right up until a sneeze brings out her alter for violent retribution.

Lunch was the first Super Saiyan IN THIS ESSAY I WILL

Fortunately, since Goku spends so little time at Kame House as the manga progresses, we don't tend to see much of this. Instead, the main thing Lunch gets used for is indiscriminate violence. As Blonde Lunch settled in as one of the gang, her propensity for crime and ability to pull firearms straight out of thin air became her main gag.

You know, in retrospect? If she had to be written out? Robbing the Muten-Roshi of that diamond and then flying off over the horizon would have been a great way to do it.

Imagine if this was the last we ever saw of Lunch. Powerhouse of an ending for her character, wasted on a funny bit in the RRA arc.

Honestly, the RRA arc is peak Lunch. That time she kicked God in the butt notwithstanding.

For the last important thing she ever did in the series, that's such a note to go out on.

But in addition to the hilarious diamond bit, the RRA arc also gives us the only time Lunch has actually gotten to use her propensity for violence in a genuine fight. This is one of my favorite Lunch moments.

Mistakenly believing that the Muten-Roshi is the inventor of Goku's Dragon Radar, Red Ribbon moves to seize control of Kame House. This goes badly for them.

It's been like four months since that guy managed to beat Goku in the ring. Y'all made mistakes.

Red Ribbon manages to make him stop doing this to them by taking Lunch hostage.

But Turtle's there with the palm frond.

And then, shortly after, she robbed the Muten-Roshi for that diamond. Her whole part of the General Blue sub-arc is Peak Lunch.

(I genuinely don't know if using sneezes to transition between personalities is, like, a common ableist stereotype in Japanese culture or if Danganronpa's Genocide Jack was inspired by Lunch specifically. I do wonder.)

The 22nd Tenkaichi Budokai, however, would kickstart what would unexpectedly be the beginning of the end for Lunch.

Her takeaway from Goku and Tenshinhan's final match is that Ten is a fucking beast and Mama Want. This wasn't supposed to be how her character exits the series. But then Raditz showed up.

In the reunion between Goku and his friends at Kame House, Yamcha and Lunch would both reasonably be expected to be present. Yamcha's absence is explained by him and Bulma fighting again, while Lunch is said to have left after the 23rd Tenkaichi Budokai to go with Tenshinhan.

And then she never came back. This was the last we ever heard of her. Toriyama has said in interview that he forgot she existed, but he did still occasionally draw her or provide a few extra details for what ever became of her and Tenshinhan's... situation.

In interview following the release of Battle of Gods, he finally gave a final ending for Lunch and Ten's situation.

"Stoic Tenshinhan mainly does farming in addition to his training. He can split into multiple bodies and grow extra arms, so harvesting the crops goes quickly. He was found by Lunch, who fell in love with him at first sight and had been constantly pursuing his whereabouts, and even reluctantly lived together with her; but she wasn’t cut out for farming, and Tenshinhan has no interest in romance, so she left after just a few days. After that, it seems Lunch apparently stops in from time to time."

We don't get to see much of Ten's social life because he doesn't associate with anybody. He and Chiaotzu are an island unto themselves, only popping in when the Earth is in peril.

Unless they're undergoing some sort of heavenly trial or fighting the apocalypse, they don't hang out with Kame-senryu. And since our guys are Kame-senryu, that means we don't get to hang out with them.

They're off doing their own thing and walking their own path. And Lunch is over there in the mystical land of wherever they fucking go with them now. Popping in on the aromantic Tenshinhan from time to time while living her exciting life of crime.

So, farewell Lunch. You really were a hoot to have around.

#dragon ball #dragon ball z #lunch

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too-antigonish · 5 months ago

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Maybe you can blame Roger...

(Or give him credit)

Last week I did a retrospective of the various 'staches that Evans has sported at one time or another. It got me thinking about Roger Allam's many and varied adventures in facial hair.

Given the amount of time these men spent together and the basic dynamics of peer pressure, I think it was really only a matter of time before Evans gave the 'tache a try.

Here are some of Roger's best (and worst) looks:

The English Civil War (2001) Rating: Ouch!

2. Foyle's War (2002) Rating: Almost a Morstache

3. Manchild (2003) Rating: Every bit as smarmy as the character

4. The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone (2003) Rating: Even the 'tache has an accent

5. The Curse of Steptoe (2008) Rating: Bold and bushy

6. Henry IV (2010) Rating: Glorious. Really.

7. Game of Thrones (2011) Rating: Bold but a touch dwarvish

8. Parade's End (2012) Rating: Impeccably hilarious

9. The Tempest (2013) Rating: This rough magic

10. A Royal Night Out (2015) Rating: Morstache goes Dad-stache

11. Rutherford and Son (2019) Rating: Shaggy late Orson Welles

All photos sourced from the Gallery at all-allam.com

#itv endeavour #endeavour morse #roger allam #morstache mondays #moustache mondays #shaun evans

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amemenojaku · 8 months ago

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due to a change of plans I went to Yomotsu Hirasaka today instead of a few days ago! I got older places to post about in my backlog but I figured something like this would be more interesting to my touhou followers rn

before that though, I did a quick detour at Iya shrine as suggested by the person running the little tourism office/souvenir shop/town association (very nice place btw)

it enshrines Izanami mainly, but also Ookuninushi/Oonamuchi, Sukunabikona (!), Kotoshironushi, and I spotted a few smaller shrines for Susanoo etc. plus the usual Inari of course. the shrine office was exceptionally closed when I got there but they'd left goshuin outside for visitors, so I paid mine and got on my way to the main place I'd come here for

Yomotsu Hirasaka is on a little hill (obviously) almost completely cut from the rest of town, which made for a relaxing walk. I saw a bunch of abandoned barns and gardening sheds in the fields on the way there, and there's a pretty big pond right next to it with huge carps in it. anyway

that's where Izanagi supposedly sealed the path to Yomi to prevent Izanami and her girls from catching him. funnily enough, most of the informational material there and the leaflets I got at the tourism office call the pursuers some variant of "oni" or "evil spirit". for example:

but on a stone monument right next to the rocks themselves, the word "shikome" is what's used:

food for thought... 😏 there was also a board with some more local information and a QR code to a narrated video of this episode of the Kojiki and I thought it was honestly pretty well done so here it is: link (the sound can get a bit loud at times so beware). the shikome look hilarious in it tbh I'd suggest watching it at least for them

on the way back I used a shortcut through the forest and found a little place dedicated to Sai no kami/Dousojin. in retrospect I should've seen it coming, but it was still a surprise to find something that can be kinda linked to a certain other character right there in the middle of the woods

#travel tag #guess I'll also tag her for the sake of it lol #hisami yomotsu

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popculturebuffet · 2 months ago

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Sam and Max The Devil's Playhouse Retrospective: The Tomb of Sammun-Mak (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy lagomorphs and welcome back to my look at Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse! Last time our heroes saved the world again, found psychic powers, got ominus foreshadowing max was gonna die, and I got to bask in the fact the Soda Poppers are fucking dead

But found out Bluster Blaster is now missing from most of this game

Still The Penal Zone left a great impression a truly sterling first chapter in this final bow for now for sam and max.

And i'm happy to say the Tomb of Sammun-Mak continues this hot streak. It's another excellent, deeply hilarious chapter, once again proving to be the best of the previous two chapters; big set pieces that look fantastic mixed with comedy that's still dark but less overtly cruel than Beyond Time and Space. I mean there's still some messed up stuff but it feels less nasty.

The Tomb of Sammun-Mak is a format bender, following our heroes as they use one of the toys to astral project/watch film reels of their ancestors, Sameth and Maximus, the spooky scary skeletons we found last time. TTOSM cleverly uses this to shake up the formula: instead of a three act structure, with the third being some sort of big flashy finale with limited options, you go back and forth between each reel as you find out new info that helps you past another one. It's a fun structure: While more linear than usual, as generally there's only so much you can do before you have to swap reels, the structure makes it easier to play. It's a bit disorenting at first as what's in your inventory at the time depends on the reel, but eventually your brain adjusts and it's fun to, like last time work backwords to get an item you had earlier. I needed a guide once or twice and if you liked the challenge of an adventure game this chapter may be for you, but as someone just here for the story and one liners, I was fine with it and Tomb is now one of my faviorite chapters. So step under the cut to see more reasons why.

Tomb picks up exactly where we left off, something that looking ahead at the wiki for the endings of the next few chapters (Just the endings, I still like a little suprise for what spoilers I don't have), is a trend. It seems Devil's Playhouse takes place over only a few hours, maybe 12 at most. Beyond Time and Space flirted wtih this a bit with the ending of chapter three and the last two taking place over a few hours but otherwise there tended to be an in universe gap of about a month.

This change also fits in with Devil Playhouse's other big change, one i'd heard about but really sinks in here: the story is heavily seralized: while each chapter has it's own distinct rythum and antagonist from the looks of it, it's one big story that happens in rapid succession. It reminds me of say Legend of Vox Machina: it's episodic, instead of just being one big story put into chunks, but ther'es an ongoing arc the whole time and each episode largely leads into the next. The previous two games did have it all tie together, but it was looser; someone was clearly behind the hypnotisim plot in Save the World but our heroes being who they are don't really look into it till the last minute, while in Beyond Time and Space there's hints hell is involved in the first chapter, but you don't really get a sense how this ties together till the big reveal and even then it feels a bit reachier. Here from what I know without over spoiling myself, each chapter builds on the previous ones in some way, both in the overaching plot of the toys and in who the villians are. This chapter in paticular hints at chapter 3's antagonist and introduces chapters 4. I won't say which is which or who in facse you haven't played them.

Our heroes are also caught up in it a lot faster, as each chapter is someone after their toys and sam for his ability to use them. There's a bigger sense of urgency as while our heroes are still themselves, their more directly in the line of fire rather than waiting out some big nebulous plot they have to solve at the end. While the previous two games aren't bad, I like this structure a lot better, as it gets the plot going, allows it to breathe more, whlie still delivering a satsifying episodic experince. I play these monthly (Or if I get behind as in this case two this month) so I get the best of both worlds: the cozy comforts of the remaster with the feel someone would have playing it on it's own and waiting about a month for the next one.

So onto our adventure. Max is aghast at the skeletons as he thinks Sam killed him. Which... given everything max does if Sam did Kill max he was either about to fire all the nukes at once or took the last piece of Meesta Pizza.

Either way Sam quickly points out this is a clue (complete with note) and not them. It's their relatives Sameth and Maximus, from 1901, with the note leading them to a nearbye projector with some reels. The duo fight over this because with the office down they can't fight over the phone as easily. Gotta keep those reflexes up.

This accidently reveals that the Projector is the Astral Projector, one of the toys of power. It allows them to live through their ancestors pasts. Though it comes with a caveat that explains why all the reel swapping: They only have information they've learned as they don't fully gain their ancestors memories. It's inconsitant as they do remmeber what's on the reel but i'll let it slide for being a solid way to do this out of order.

That said we'll be covering these in full chronological order rather than jumping around jumping around get up get up and get down. The reasons are simple: It's easier on me and my brain which is about what you'd expect

And it's easier on yours as it's a bit more coherent to just cover the story as it happens.

So with that in mind

REEL 1: THE CHALLENGE OF THE SPUNX!

First of Spunx. Given the series we're in they probably knew that was a sex thing these days as i'm pretty sure using spunk as a jizz metaphor was a thing back then. Or i'm just a dirty weirdo. Both things can be true.

Our adventure begins with Sam and Max attending a theater exibition from Monsuier Paperwhite. Paperwhite apparently comes back somehow, and is notable for being the only character in these flashbacks to have a completely new model. Every other character is either a mole, who I suspect were made the ancient guardians of the devil's toybox to make more characters easier as they can just copy harry's model and put new clothes on it, or from Beyond Time and Space. Paperwhite is offering two free tickets to sunny egypt to anyone intrested. A pitty he's about 27 years too early for any joestars to stash those away for later use. To get them they have to pass the CHALLENGE OF THE SPHUNX, which looks like a hippo and is a repica of the real thing.

I love the pulp feel of this one, those sort of adventure stories like Scrooge Mc Duck, Indiana Jones and Tintin. The globetrotting adventure, mysterious characters and period trappings are just so fun and it's a perfect fit for sam and max. Especially since the embodiment of Noir used to live next door to them.

Anyways, the other guests are a Mole in a Babuska and Santa himself as Nicholas J Kringle. While santa was a bit of an ass in the finale to ice station santa, here he's a robber baron monster who barely pays his elf workers and has them living in little arctic circle, the local elf ghetto. A sentence that's actually said and is the kind of thing that makes covering these games so damn fun.

Kringle heard there were toys involved, as Paperwhite has one of the toys of power, the Can o Nuts. I'll let a known expert explain this classic prank

But here Maximus can fit himself and whoever inside. Naturally to even the odds since Maximus like Max has THE POWER and can at the very least move the Spunx tounge by standing on it, Santa has one of his elves Yoink the can and run off. While we're here we can pick up some of Santa's Cookies, a sunday funnies page written in hyreoglyps and by distracting santa, an adress.

So it's off to Little Arctic Circle just south fo the theater and in present day the street our heroes live on. We see the Mole Woman has some Beef with the elves as she goes back to her house as our heroes ask and answer an age old question

So we go to talk to the Elves but their petty little assholes. They also don't want to unionize but in fairness i'm pretty sure Santa's unionbusting would be horrifying as it was holly jolly. I mean this was back when horsewhipping an employee for unionzing was probably legal.

They won't give us the can unless we give them a great toy idea since Kringle wanted the can but didn't you know... leave the ehater to fetch it from them. Before we give it to em we talk to the mole woman. SHe's cursing their leader slushy as it turns out mole people have magical curse powers. WHo knew? This is handy knoweldge for later. She came to this country ahead of her family who are stuck back in the old country.. being egypt despite the russian accent. Anyways she translates the glyps for us, which is literally just saying what the glyph looks like, and some comics which wax about how wacky it is to cut cucumber lengthwise. Being sam and max this will be importnat later.

For now we give the Elves our idea... this is about an hour later in game but we give them the idea for a toy biplane, it'll make sense later and with that they refuse to pry it off their friends head and make the mistake of pissing Sameth and Maximus off.. which like their decsendants is only a recipie for broken bones and scapulas. At least Slushie can regenerate.

With that we can complete the riddle! and have a toy of power! hot choclate! Completing it is standing on the creatures tounge, giving it an offering (the cookies), saying the glyph then enterting the gate using the can o beans. With that our heroes win two tickets to sunny egypt!

Reel 2: The Train to Egypt/In the Tomb

The title changes depending on your progress. The first scene is mostly just there to introduce a major supporting character and provide an obstacle to easily clearing this chapter so you get the swap gimmick down.

Our heroes are on the train to Egypt when they end up with a stoaway: Baby Amelia Earhart! She's a little rapscalion who wants to journey with us. Sameth and Maximus aren't like their succesors and have no use for kid sidekicks/surrogate daughters and tell her to go screw but when their tickets blow away they have bigger issues. You sing her a shut up laden version of cry of the valkryies to make her sleep, something picked up from the next reel, and use the can to avoid being ticketed.

Many Wild Adventures Later our heroes have ditched Baby Amelia Eardhart and head into the tomb. They find the chest.. but also find Grandpa Mole, who sets up a security hex. We can't touch the chest so we explore a bit. We find an old familiar face in a diffrent phase of his life: Jurgen! Pre vamparisim. Kinda. He was cursed to be one but you have to be bitten by one for it to stick. He was trapped in the wall and wants our help getting out. Obviously this is a trap but it's something our heroes really can't get out of.

So manuvering around the corridors we find a bust and remove it freeling jurgen.. and trapping us. Jurgen leaves having acomplished nothing and not even getting the box, for now. Which is on brand for him. Thankfully whlle the two guardian figures in the wall we're now trapped in are less than sympathetic they are willing to let us leave for a good joke. Specifically cucumber being cut lengthwise. Which.. honestlyw hile not ha ha funny is something kinda nuts to do.

So our heroes are free and soon head to the west hall where we find the dad, who sounds like harry moleman. He apparently isn't but gotta flip them assets. He has a chamber of death which I genuinely thought might slice you good.. but turns out nope the guiltine won't hit you at all. For now. You find his daughter Nefertiti, who he's scaring all the boys away from with his powerful sexo rejexo curse that repels the opposite sex. Apparently Molemen don't know queer people exist, which tracks.

We need to get past her as her giant Asp

Which also ate the next toy of power (?), Charlie Hotep. He's a ventriloquist dummy that allows you to throw your voice! Fool your freinds! Fun at parties! Thankfully we get in the asp by using the can o nuts, a solution I had to look up. What is with this game and "assuming the player will figure out the animal does things". At least this time it eating the puppet is a clue and not "the pidgeon will do the thing you just have to belivieeeeee"

So now with Charlie we can fool Nefertiti's dad into thinking she has a crush on sam and max.

Though in fariness tormenting a tweenage girl and getting her father to curse us by basically making him think we might be pedophiles is still a long ways away from "sending an innocent child to hell for fun and profit". It's more funny than awful as it more pisses off a moody tweenager for two seconds and gets us cursed to complete a puzzle more than it actually. .HURTS anyone. We'll save actually hurting her feelings for next time.

For our hubris though in addition to the needed sexo rejexo, Max gets turned into.. A COW! which sameth takes with patience and dignity

It's a great gag. You also get a great reaction or two if you use stuff on him before Maximus changes back. So onward to the rest of the puzzle. On the right sid eis grandpa mole and baby amelia earhart, who escaped and is pissed at our heroes for running the fuck away from their unwanted sidekick and plans to loot the tomb .Grandpa Mole wants a grandkid to talk to since his actual grandchild no longer likes him. So we simply need to use sexo rejexo and a nearbye sarcophogas to blast the small child into the weird old man

Thankfully he's not a pedophile, and is a good sport and lets us roam around. Sadly this new friendship has to be ruined as we need his curse to complete the puzzle after looting some rune blocks. So we riffle through his brouchers, possible vacations as everyone says grandpa needs a break, and ask about Stuutgart. Being a xenophobic weirdo , he curses us for that with a bad luck curse. This means the guillotine will actually work now and thanks to a tip from kev I knew to toss the idol from earlier in. It's now a twofer and both halves go into indentionts near the guardian mural, causing them to bend. We go back into the painting, use the new bridge, and fuck up grandpa's curse runes. Also his curse seems to be the only one tha tneeds an elaborate set of runes. Maybe they evolved.

With that we can grab the devil's toybox and end this reel.

REEL 3: THE JOURNEY HOME

After escaping a gun toting santa

We arrive back on the train only to find the trunk we put the Devil's Toybox in is empty! So it's a mystery on a train. Man this serial has everything: a fun act one in a theater with an old timey showcase, an anceint tomb to raid, and a train mystery. I do love a good story set on a train so this reel had me.

It's also a lot of fun. The overworld is a bit of a pain in the ass to get around as you can't run for some reason despite how small it is and train is a straight line so to get anywhere you usually have to backtrack. Which would be fine but without being able to run it makes this segment slower

Thankfully the rest is a lot of fun as everyone so far is in attendence, forwhadowing what's to come. The Mole Dad and Neferiti are on their way back, with Mole Dad a little sore at first you stole his priceless treasure, but admits it was for the best and loosing it means he can join his wife in the new world. His dad is taking that well deserved vacation.. to see the Sphynx. But hey his duty was guarding one small room of it and now he can look over all of it. I mean it's still not very big but hey.

Next door is Jurgen, who won't let you inspect his room filled with vampire stuff and with throw you out. And who also wants to call evens on the whole "betraying you and trying to trap you forever thing" kay. I am really happy to see Jurgen again and while he's not as funny as his previous two apperances, he dosen't have his hilarious 2000's rave kid astetc since it's a century too early for that, it's nice just to see him again.

Also on board are Kringle, whose hiding in his cabin and won't come out, and his elves. Slushie is looking a bit... vampish but insists he's fine. He dosen't even crav eblood that much. He does need a subject to test that toy you pitched. Thankfully Baby Amelia Earhard has both forgven the boys mostly and sold a ton of her plundered loot to get herself her own cabin.

So to get further we need to get that toy test. Thankfully the sexo rejxo curse works wonders. We simply use charlie again, which both lets us check out the moleman's luggage. As it turns out he has the vampire reverse curse inside, the way to cure Jurgen before he turns.

The curse violently throws people around, and thus pushes baby amelia erdhardt into slushie. I.. I really wish there weren't so many puzzles that involve shoving a child into an old man but that's where were at. Thankfully the elves just show her their toy biplane, which of course is a hit with the future ace aviator.

So the next bit's a bit complex, mostly beause of all the back and forth. We grab a glass from Santa for.. reasons that will horrify you in a moment. Then we see Neferitti give a love note to jurgen, having a massive crush on him while he's intrested in is getting the reverse curse off her dad. So we have to piss her off again and her dad, telling him about the crush as responsible adults

So he casts a sexo rejexo curse on Jurgen, and a mad Nefertiti turns Maximus back into a cow. Sameth's chiller this time and er.. mliks his little buddy

I didn't need this, you didn't need this, even shippers didn't need this. It's fun to Ship Sam and Max together. Not so much their relatives both due to the horrifying incesty implicatoins and just the fact that even if this were sam and max, maybe don't.. mlik each other. At least as a cow. Other way's fine. This just feels.. wrong. Why is it saved the world is the only game that didn't give me cow based nightmares.

So we then feed the milk to santa with cookies, and put the can o nuts on the tray to sneak in, and suprise him. We raid his trunk to find .. it empty. He DID try to steal it but someone stole it from him.

So after getting thrown out we deal with Jurgen. Nefertiti is tounge tied, tounge tied, whenever he's around. Whenever he's in town boy. So we make up the words for her making him think the curse is in a sarcophogas we found under some luggage earlier. Then it's as simple as telling Slushie to go see santa , a meeting he dosen't make as he has to stop for a quick bite on the way. With that we've ruined Jurgen's life, but get to loot his room to find nothing.

Turns out it wasn't any of our rogues gallery but BABY AMELIA ERDHARDT!

To the team's credit this twist.. actually works. The prevoius two reels , which are usually finished before this one, set up how much our heroes tossed the kid around and neglected her, so her betraying them to try and take the toybox for herself works perfectly, while still being just out of left field enough, ther'es no foreshadowing besides our heroes being dicks, to be funny. The way our heroes beat her is also funny.. they just.. use the curse a third time and knock a baby off a train, which somehow isn't the worst thing our heroes have done today. Or even in the top 10. It is hilarious though.

So that leads us to our finale

REEL 4: THE BIG REWARD!

So sam's gotta go wag the dog so to speak, and tells Max not to keep watching while he's away. Max... watches it anyway which Sam shoudl've seen coming but ey.

So our heroes recap their adventures for a lovely audience Paperwhite's gathered.. then we get to the inevitble betryal you probably saw coming from this setup. Paperwhite plans to use the box to summon Yog Sogoth! though weirdly while the other toys levittate impressively , stealing our can o nuts... charlie just.. falls to the floor. Hrmmm.

Paperwhite puts sam over a vat of man eating ants that's been there the whole time. That's not a joke it was there in act one, well setup chekov's gun. I just didn't need to mention it till sam's dangled over them. You can just do what paperwhite wants, and summon Yog Soggoth, his lord and master. And... it eats you because it eats the summoner. it's why he bothered getting someone with the poewr and having them die for him. Thankfully this reel is multiple choice so Max distracts our big bad while Sam uses the newspaper to flame a rope to knock charlie near max, who uses him to lure Paperwhite to the circle.. then mime him saying the words. it's a clever finale and one that does away with our villian who will come back which dosen't suprise me: besides the new model there's also the simple fact last time, I assume a man wasn't dead from an axe to the head and turned out to be entirely right. Death does not happen easy in this universe and even then you can just come back as a ghost as Mama Bosco showed us.

We then get a cutscene showing us what happened to Samteth and Maximus, they took the box to the mole family, who agree to guard it... only for their protection spell to go haywire. Since Maximus is afraid of being a cow again he accidedntly bolts into the way, Sameth tries to save him. .and they die. The moles leave their bones behind and the toybox, to be found by the mole cult later. It's honestly way sadder than I expected. Still funny with how quickly the moles move on from it, but it's a tragic sacricie. It's also a bit of a more coherent story than normal setting up WHY the box is wher eit was found and why max has powers: they were passed on.

So Sam comes back to berate Max.. only to find.. his brain missing. And it's creepier than I expected to, the detail on his debrained body is neat and really creepy and it's unsettling how the top of his head just... flops open.

So with that cliffhanger we end this chapter. It was a delight as you can tell, is one of the best and if you haven't played the game yet please, please please go do so. Thanks for reading

NEXT TIME: Sam goes noir! Max is left a brain in a jar! Reality bends in half! Fun for all ages!

#sam and max #sam and max the devil's playhouse #anton papierwaite #Santa Claus #Slushy #mole men #egypt #amelia earhart

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