#but in my au he’s majority girl dad as in he connects w/ her more

[crushedsweets]

i'm so obsessed w your blog you really unlocked all the nostalgia that's always waiting under the surface frfr i hope you send me spiraling all the way down again i miss it here so bad. anyway can i ask. what u got on... jane my beloved... sowwy if there's already like. posts abt it i'll go thru your whole blog someday and learn everything like my uni books xx

ok some quick warm up doodles this morning to go with the chat i got... tw for torture, stalking, really sad stuff.

link to my au that has a page with her in it

ok to start off with, jane/liu aren't TOO present in my story because jane and liu live really normal lives. most of their personal story is about recovery and growth, they were victims not aggressors. they're more involved in ninas story, rather than the overarching slender/operator paranormal problems...

jane grew up in an upper middle class household with incredibly loving parents. she was majoring in criminal psychology and lived with her parents, since they were close to the uni. it was during her second year in university that jeff began stalking her. he'd leave dead animals on her doorstep, light fires in her garbage cans, shatter windows without even entering the house, key her car, leave cryptic writings on her car that say stuff like '1f' (1female) to further scare her.

it wasn't that there was anything special about jane, but she had a super easy, very strict schedule to follow. her uni classes were all in the same building at the time, her car had a few cute stickers and decorations on/in her car that made it easy to spot, she only worked sat-mon at a cafe near her university. she was a happy person. easy victim he thought

eventually, while jane was out, he broke into her home and assaulted her parents. whether he used drugs or just stabbed them in the right place to make them immobile idk, but he got them tied up in the kitchen at some point. he was torturing them, doing the typical carved out smile bullshit, and he planned on leaving them for jane to find that night -- but, for the first time, her schedule was different. she came home from work while he was drenching the house in gasoline.

he panicked upon hearing her absolutely gutwrenching scream and quickly lit the trail of gasoline while she was trying to untie her dad (her mom was long gone by this point, her dad was barely managing a few wheezed breathes). he went to go finish jane off. he slashed her face, from her right temple, down her cheek, splitting her mouth in half and getting down to her left jaw. but the fire was spreading way faster than he anticipated, and he already heard sirens, so he bolted.

jane suffered 3rd degree burns covering her entire right leg and arm, it reached up her neck and her face, alongside some other parts of her body. she was pulled out of the fire, rushed to the hospital, and barely managed to survive.

jane had some outside family to support her, but her biggest supporter was her friend from middleschool mary vaugn. she moved into mary's house, took a semester off of school for recovery. the second she felt physically able to, she tried to drive herself right back into school, regardless of her mental condition.

she changed her major to criminal justice. she eventually graduated, fell in love with mary, got married, became a private investigator, etc. she spent a while working on jeff's case, losing sleep and hair over it- she was getting into some sketchy things to try and figure it out, because by this point jeff and ben were friends, and slenderman needs ben's help, so jeff's now protected by slenderman

but jane is one stubborn fucking woman and kept going. instead of sending the proxies to subdue jane, he sent sally.

sally was another poltergeist that kept haunting homes with newborn babies. she was attracting some attention, but slenderman cant physically stop a ghost - so he spent some time talking to sally, connecting with this little ghost girl and convincing her 'you're doing such a great job protecting all these infants, but this one needs you now'

he sent sally off to live with jane. mary's sister was staying with jane/mary after having a baby, so sally agreed to protect the baby. jane quickly welcomed sallys presense, always having believed good things of protective spirits. her mom used to tell her stories of how her grandmother's ghost would always come and soothe jane in her infancy (whether its true or not doesnt matter to jane) .

sally eventually became more than a presence to jane, almost completely integrating herself into her household's daily life. even after mary's sister and her baby left, sally stayed with jane. she felt safe there. (it helped that there were no men in the house too)

jane cares for sally like a daughter for a long time, and begins to redirect her life towards sally, rather than hatred for jeff. she never fully recovers from that night, and she never ever ever ever fucking 'forgives' jeff in any way, but she puts it aside for a while.

but sally is still a spirit, and does her fair share of wandering. she's always landing herself in the cornfields, the forest, etc, and jane goes frantic looking for her -- which is where she eventually bumps into the proxies. it's a huge mess, but she finds out what the fuck slenderman is and whats happening in that forest, but she just . . cant do anything about it. for sallys sake

eventually they get to the point where jane commonly finds herself walking in the forest with sally, or the proxies have to call jane and tell her to 'get her ghost kid' from the forest, etc.

at some point in this she also connects with liu. i don't know who reaches out first, whether it be liu desperately wanting to apologize for everything, or jane trying to figure out anything about jeff she can use to find him. this is how she finds out about nina.

jane smacked the shit out of nina when she first met her, in front of the proxies, who had to pull them apart. (i love nina but she deserved it after idolizing jeff). but nina is really fucking weird and began to idolize jane as well, and sally liked nina, which made it even more complicated, and that's why jane is the first person nina calls after jeff stabbed her ...

by this point janes hoping nina can heal, hoping liu can heal, hoping she herself can heal. ITS VERY HARD. its so unbelievably painful. that's basically where her story is at right now...

on a more positive note, she has a beautiful relationship with mary, and was hugely accepted in mary's family. she does poetry, creative writing, and is passionate about her career. she takes some extra creative writing/art courses at the local community college, just out of pure interest. she does her best to live a peaceful life

a bit off topic, but here's a little thing i copy and pasted from an old hc post too:

i cannot explain how close jane and her parents were. she was an only child in a upper middle class house to a lawyer and a real estate agent so she was always spoiled rotten, taken care of, always told how beautiful and smart she was. hence why losing them is the most fucking detrimental shit to ever happen to her. she literally worhsips her parents. she’s wore mothers wedding dress to her own wedding. her uncle(dads brother) walked her down the aisle holding a framed photo of her dad. she almost refused to walk during her university graduation because her parents couldn’t be there, despite the years worth of hardwork and dedication she put into it.

[heeres-suffering]

Be More Alluring: a Personality Swap AU

[pic description and source will be at the bottom of this post, under the read more]

Start of summary:

“You need to be more alluring.”

"... don’t you mean attractive?”

“I do not. Your attractiveness is adequate, Brooke; if you want to mask your apparently latent queerness, you have to make them want you straight. Isn’t that why your step-father defended you?” 

Brooke Lohst is a loser.

But you know what? That was okay.

She always knew she was a weird one. The intensity of her affection for puppies, picture books, and near-constant daydreaming has lasted well-past a normalcy she can’t seem to grasp; when coupled with her inability to befriend anyone (besides the similarly self-identified loser Michael Mell), it’s not a surprise the rest of her peers have left her behind.

However, there were... ah, worse things in her life to worry about then some mild bullying. She liked her passion well enough, and all of her true insecurities went largely unnoticed, so any insults or weird looks rarely lingered in her mind. It’s not like she was a constant target either, which helped a lot. All in all, she just planned to hunker down, wait out the awkwardness of High School like everyone else, and move on to the rest of her life... 

Except.

When Brooke develops a crush on a girl she’s never talked to, after years of avoiding fairy tale romance and trying not to think about the inevitability of marriage (or how finicky her attraction to boys is in the first place), it feels like her whole world is about to cave in. She’d do anything to make sure her parents, especially daddy, never find out... including buying an edible super computer from the loudest, tiniest guy in school.

End of summary.

Alright!

Hi, hello, it’s Mod Seb, and here’s an AU I’ve been rolling around for a few days! You are free to do with this concept whatever you want, but I wanted to introduce it with a good chunk of the info I’ve already worked out in my head.

So. As the CWs are... too numerous, I’m going to go with a blanket “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” label and encourage you not to read the rest of this if you have any big darkfic triggers that could be upset by mere mention; this isn’t a fic tho, so descriptions of anything awful won’t last long. 

Although, I will mention upfront that Brooke isn’t a binary lesbian. I know the description might read like I’m setting her up to be 100% homosexual; she’s bi with a strong preference for girls, and anyone who presents soft enough in gender or appearance. If it wasn’t for the end-game pairings, her unfamiliarity with smaller details/history of the LGBTQ+ community, and general “gay newb” status, she’d likely ID as a bi lesbian!

(ships and everything else under the Read More)

Okay. That out of the way, there’s quite a number of pairings; I’m pretty sure it’s a super polyamorous and sexual AU, though you’re free to change this list as much as you’d like:

[bolded are end-game ships. italics physically hook up at least once. strike-through means they were in a relationship but break-up in some way before the ending. (H) stands for healthy, while (T) is toxic and/or noncon. underlined characters are pining for the other and may never confess their true feelings]

Brooke/Christine (H), Brooke/Rich (H), Brooke/Jenna (H), Brooke/Michael (H), Brooke/Chloe (T), Brooke/her Daddy (T), Brooke/Squip (H), Brooke/Jeremy (soft T at first bc of mirrored canon-compliant manipulation, H later on), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy (H), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy/Rich (H), Rich/Moses (H), [insert every form of Rich/Mo/Squip/Jeremy here] (H), Jeremy/Chloe (T), Jeremy/Michael (H), Michael/Christine (H), Michael/Christine/Mr. Heere (H; no, seriously), Madeline/Brooke (H)

This is, of course, a role swap AU where Brooke and Jeremy trade places based on my personal lore for their home lives. I always have some pretty fucked ideas as I don’t imagine MB is a great place with great adults, and I pick and choose which parts of canons I use and which I don’t. 

There is no definite ending planned in mind as this isn’t an outline; it’s meta (or an imagine or w/e) for an AU that you’re free to do whatever with. 

So,

The big difference is that Brooke was picked by Michael, while Jeremy was picked by Chloe. Jeremy is trans and hadn’t come out yet; if Chloe had known he was a boy, she wouldn’t have grabbed him. In contrast, Michael’s never gave a shit about potential friends genders.

Jer and B’s personalities... are altered some. Not ALL the way, but kiiinda fusing into their roles, kinda tweaked (I'll get back to that).

The main point of this for me was Brooke/Squip/Jeremy, with B/Jer having a MUCH stronger focus than in canon, and a really bad Chloe acting as one of the major villains.

Michael gets roped into Chloe’s shit, even tho he's still generally a good guy here, bc he's worried about B and thinks she can't properly take care of herself.

While B DOES have a strong crush on Christine, she’s the opposite of the Squip’s “goal”; that’s (obvs) masking, or making passably digestible, her queerness.

Her Mom and step-’Daddy’ have reacted to her friendship w/ ‘openly gay moms, also very flamboyant and GNC’ Michael... poorly.

Michael thinks the solution has to be “act as aggressively yourself as you can, and if they reject you, you know me and the mom’s have a space for you”. This works for him bc he’s permanently hyper-visible, what with all of his own marginalized identities. But, not only has she flied under the radar in comparison to him for years, he doesn’t know everything about her life.

In fact, he doesn’t know most of it. She’s very good at hiding things.

Meanwhile, Jeremy, one of the more popular ‘boy... ish’ (we’ll get to this, too) people in school, is mid-psychosis and self-destruction. He actually has schizo-affective disorder--as is the case with all of my versions of Jeremy--which he needs medication for. Combined that with so many bad influences and trauma, he can no longer fully control himself or his life.

The way he handles this (badly) is to ‘whore around’--which, besides being Chloe’s pet, is kinda why he’s so popular. Nobody respects him, but he’s viewed some form of favorably.

Jeremy is in a relationship with Rich, but he won't let him get as close/protective as Rich wants; Mo and Rich were doing their own man-whoring (but healthy, just droppin’ panties and making dudes and chicks swoon--yeah, Rich is out as bisexual, this is a very ‘the Squips are a good thing’ AU) to gain their standard reputation, but in the course of that, they got together with Jeremy and it became... complicated. Both of them are very "nnn" about how bad his life is for Jer.

The way that their personalities are altered is... okay. To explain this, I have to talk about my characterization of canon-Brooke and Jeremy in relation to this, starting with Brooke:

I imagine B as just a liiittle below the line of "all the way there" for sorta-similar reasons to Jeremy here: trauma, and Chloe (which is why that’s what Jeremy gets in this, it’s just WAY worse when compounded by everything else). She’s also--like me, and like almost every character I write as a result--autistic, in a near-permanent state of “not enough accommodations” and over-stimulation. This leads to a lot of dissociation and a very wandering mind, as well as being perceived as a bimbo or dumb blonde or w/e misogynistic bullshit is projected onto her by the boys she dates (she’s also much more down the middle bi outside this AU).

So, going back to how she is for this AU: she's actually not super nerdy, despite the close connection she and Michael have. Honestly, it’s their general neurodivergent weirdness that bring them together, and so she’s mostly adopted her nerdy interests through him, whether directly a thing he likes, or finding a whimsical variant that fits her tastes.

Obviously, unlike Jeremy, she doesn’t mind being called a loser. She does any insinuation she might be queer. This including anyone who calls her gay or a dyke.

She has too much Cis Male Trauma (unlike canon, where it comes from both cis angles) to really entertain the idea of a Traditionally Male Partner. This means she skews HEAVILY towards hard GNC guys at the very least, and generally finds herself most interested in the idea of enbies and women. she's also not super into butches tho, bc her trauma mixing with her sexuality has latched on to Strong Masc People Are A Threat. 

An expansion on her interests, in canon and otherwise: animals, ASMR/sensual service work (including massages and stuff), spending hours just sorta sitting by herself and letting her imagination wander, fairy tales, and YA-and-under fantasy books.

(Here, she tries to avoid het or f/f romance... except that, this past year or two, she’s started really like m/m stuff--esp after getting REALLY into drag shows, which she could enjoy safely since girls like Chloe have gotten into them too; in canon, she’s a romance fanatic)

Now... this is one of the really darkfic element; she's fucking her step-dad. 

She does this so that he doesn't walk out on her, her mom, and her little sister*. Her mom has a good-enough job as a standard office woman, but he makes enough to pay the rent on their nice townhouse and all the bills she can’t. So, after he expressed interest in Brooke and then casually mentioned he could always just leave if she wasn’t comfortable, she reluctantly entered a relationship with him

(* = her sister is currently know as her brother; he’s like 12 or 13, and started showing signs of trans/queerness which have been Heavily Discouraged. Brooke worries about him a lot)

((I didn’t use she/her pronouns bc I’m not entirely sure he would change them? This is an OC Oli created at the beginning of our interest in BMC, and we haven’t worked on him at all since, so how his characterization will be is up in the air))

Canonically, Brooke's "in love" with her daddy, which is a self-imposed delusion; if she actually addressed it, she’d says she’s well aware that’s not true, but it's so much easier to pretend when you’re cornered like that. Brooke’s life blows.

She’s a lot more honest to herself about hating him here; still, she tries to be as polite and generally-friendly as she can, doing what he says whenever he wants.

OKAY, THAT’S BROOKE. If any of that is badly described or potentially-offensive, it’s just bc I glossed over SO MUCH DETAIL, even in that amount of it!

So. Jeremy.

I don’t have to go over him much and we’re all mostly aware of how I feel about him and also I don’t have the energy to do this again--

(just... read my fics The Devil at your Door or hello yesterday or something... eyyy actually do that, my ao3 username is Sedusa, blah blah blah ANYWAY)

--but basically: He's still very nerdy, like, he’s super into film as well as video games (which is another constant for me), but after being largely ignored in elementary, he's been trailing behind Chloe at her orders since they were in 6th grade. As a result he isn't very open about... any of his interests.

In 7th grade, he came out as trans to everyone. Chloe was furious, but at the same time, intrigued; this was around the time Chloe gets her own... ah shit I gotta go into that too--

--yet another hc of mine is that Chloe gets a Squip on accident around this time at a party (there was one in a “”candy bowl””), and from there, she claws her way up the ladder. I... will not go into that much, but her Squip was crippled by the drugs and alcohol in her system, and therefore largely at her mercy. She’s used his power to manipulate certain things about herself and to sharpen her focus on popularity to the point she’s full-blown Alpha Bitch.

Man, I’ve had to go on so many tangents, I apologize.

Anyway, she drags Jeremy around as a punching bag. She constantly mocks Jeremy's transness, even though she usually calls him by his correct name and pronouns.

This has made the rest of the school follow her lead, hence why I said “boy-ish”; he’s popular, he’s technically ‘well liked’, but nobody really takes him seriously. This is compounded by Chloe’s refusal to let him dress in 'dorky' casual clothes, and, as he’s both too poor to afford designer clothes and also generally hates popular guy fashion, he has to wear the hyper femme clothing Chloe specifically tells him too/

As such, people call him a boy but largely see him as either an idiot, a slut, an attention seeker, or all of the above.

So of course, in Brooke's place, his neurodivergence is more prominent than ever; every day he slips further into this psychosis and self-infantilization haze, as his his mom leaving, his dad severely depressed, Chloe's sexual violence, and other repressed trauma (see: my fic hello yesterday on ao3) all weighing on him. This makes him INCREDIBLY regressed, like, all the time by Junior year.

And then Brooke's Squip (IE: canon Squip) falls in love with Jeremy extremely fucking hard. He pushes her to date him as a way to compromise on her queer desires, since Jeremy is technically a boy, and certainly a few other straight-ish girls have hooked up with him in the past.

WHEW. That is a fucking lot. To wrap this up, lemme go over the interpersonal relationships not already mentioned, and what directions I think it takes.

First off, Madeline has a more prominent role, as I quite like her tbh; she’s a sex worker, she has her own Squip, she’s one of Chloe’s most hated enemies, and she gravitates towards both Brooke and Jeremy. She’s also Actually French, Chloe’s just weird.

(Anyway she prolly sees through Brooke’s straight act and asks her why she’s pretending to be a good little cishet. It rattles Brooke.)

Chloe is scum. This bears repeating. She DEFINITELY rapes Brooke at the Halloween party, and becomes obsessed with her, along with already being obsessed with Jeremy and Jake. 

Jake, by the way, has a lot of regressive behavior and impulsiveness bc he’s been in an abusive relationship off and on with Chloe for years now.

Speaking of Jake, moving on to his best bro: Rich doesn’t set himself on fire. He’s having a good time with his Squip.

But.

He IS set on fire at the Halloween party.

Instead of the Smartphone Hour being about Rich's instability, it's actually about the mystery of Someone Did It To Him But No One Saw Who It Was, They Were Disguised.

The answer relates to the fact that Rich and Brooke are ALSO hooking up, after she’s already with Jeremy, bc he Properly introduces her to him and the three of them hit it off really well.

(She initially wasn’t interested, but while Rich is loud and still kinda abrasive, his Squip doesn’t drive him to act like a bully--and in private, his nerdiness is really obvious and he’s extremely gentle with her and Jeremy. Add to that that he’s bi and trans*, when Brooke connects best w/ queer men over cishet one, and it off-sets his masc-ness enough to make him an Exception.

* = I always imagine him as trans. See: all of Vanceypants fics.)

Sooo... the culprit is actually Brooke's daddy, who sees her with this obvious heartthrob and Cannot let that be.

Chloe convinces Michael that the Squips are Very Very Bad and has him team up with her to force Brooke into drinking Red, with the intention to convince him to kill himself after to get him out of the way, bc she’s really going nuts at this point.

Eventually, he snaps out of it when he and Christine get together (he’s thought he was Full Homo all of his life, but Christine’s prolly genderqueer-ness makes him realize “oh shit, I’m bisexual”) and she starts to question why he’s acting the way he is towards Christine.

He also definitely has a crush on Jeremy and during his time with Chloe he kinda tried to flirt a little but couldn’t really... he’s not up for dating someone as sexually active and a push-over as Jeremy is in this.

However, when he snaps out of Chloe’s manipulation, he and Christine approach Mr. Heere to convince him to straighten up and help Jeremy and also bc they really need an adult to successfully fight Chloe.

This requires a month+ of Christine getting him to see her psychiatrist (the one who prescribes her ADHD meds). Jeremy spends the majority of his time staying with Chloe, and very rarely comes home to gather things or to make sure his dad is eating/still alive, as much as he can remember to in his own haze of mental illness. Anyway, point is, he doesn’t know Christine and Michael are there often... not that, in the course of growing close to Mr. H, they both fall for him hard and it becomes one of my stranger OT3s.

(God, Jeremy goes through a lot of shit in this, tho.)

Pre-Squip, Jenna was kinda-sorta Brooke’s friend--or, well, friendly. However, she’s actually full blown “oh my God she’s wonderful” in love with Brooke.

Brooke isn't aware of that, esp since Jenna tries her not to be around her a lot. She's also trying to hide her own queerness, bc she’s a trans woman and she knows Chloe finding that out would be extremely dangerous.

Eventually, Chloe succeeds in making Brooke take the Red months after canon usually ends, w/o Michael’s help. If you’re curious, Red doesn’t affect her normal Squip bc she’s had him too long and a lot of his receptors and stuff are damaged, so it’s the second one she gets in canon that turns off.

This plan backfires, however, as Brooke’s Squip comes back with a physical body w/ help from Rich and also-bodied-now Moses.

With a body, and shenanigans, Mo and Squip take out Brooke’s daddy too. His life insurance more than makes up for the loss of his income, as it’s a sizable amount. Now that Brooke feels more empowered and strong, she overrides her mother’s neglectfulness and takes control of the household w/ her boyfriends*, comes out as queer, helps her sister transition, and begin to heal from all of this trauma.

(* = Rich and Mo move in, as does Jeremy eventually, after graduation; Jeremy gets a psychiatrist and a therapist and prolly has to go through some intense outpatient care and possibly a stay in the hospital, before finally making major breakthroughs and looking like himself again. The five of them are now happy and in love.)

Chloe, after her arm gets twisted by the Squip’s protective presence so thoroughly, gives up on Jeremy and Brooke to focus on Jake. This too gets abandoned when Rich and Mo help him cut her off, and so she stays in her own popularity bubble, bitter, until graduating and going to a community college in a different state.

All in all, things work out well in the end, but getting there is a long, difficult process. This AU fascinates me immensely and feels like a great way to examine some of my really dark headcanons about MB, as I think it’s a town similar to Derry in Stephen King’s IT--as in, just chronically The Worst Place Ever, with this, like, miasma of low-key despair around it. People adjust and don’t question it, which is why so much of BMC is this flippant dark humor in the face of some highly questionable shit.

I’m so sorry this post is so long (I’ll be uploading it to AU under my usual Sedusa account, as metas like this are more than allowed), but I really adore these characters and the way they can be twisted around, so I had a lot to say!

Thank you for reading <3

-mod Seb

image description: virtual-like stairs pointed forward and bathed in neon yellow and blue to represent Brook and Jeremy, which I’ve modified from the original blue-only design.

source: x (link description: a free Wallpaper Flare image that I found off Google Image’s “filtered by ‘labeled and reuse with modification” feature) 

[galaxylohnce]

VUD paladin headcanons!!!!

BTW this is based off of @voltronuniversaldefender ‘s reboot!!! CHECK THEM OUT THEYRE DOING GOD’S WORK

also i have read approx 2 headcanons and baRELY understand this AU so if there are similarities to anyone else or inconsistencies iT IS AN ACCIDENT AND IM SORRY

anyway this is just about the 4 confirmed paladins BET ill be doing more about Fa’rah/Takashi/Zahi/Ashanti once i know a bit more about their roles in the team!!

Alvaro Garcia Valladares

he has a twin. i don't make the rules, but he has a twin.

he has a big family. the biggest family. we’re talking, his mom has 8 siblings and his dad has 9 and there’s a 10 year age gap between him and his oldest sibling and he loves them all so much

natia is his best friend. i repeat, NATIA IS HIS BEST FRIEND!!!!

he’s also quite close with kiki. Natia and Kiki are the only two that he met before their great space adventure

he wasn't really sure of his sexuality at first. (i say this because i wasn't sure of my sexuality at first - im bi btw - and all the media i saw told me that any lgbt+ character was 100% sure of their sexuality form the day they were born, which made me doubt myself bc i didn't figure it out till recently, so i wanna see that in some media!! sometime!!) he probably figured it out halfway through having a crush on someone

the someone is akio, and he definitely tells Natia about it first

“natia... natia listen.... I have a crush on akio. freakin akio.... what do i do??? I’m bi, natia... I'm bi. what does this mean -”

“alvaro, I'm so proud of you, but this is a public bathroom and akio is right outside -”

GUARANTEE that the first time he saw Akio he just basically wanted to fight him but also flirt with him and had a slight moral crisis and ended up doing nothing

he is a goddamn sharpshooter, okay. he straight up becomes famous for it throughout the galaxy.

yet despite that he’s still insecure, and those insecurities prevent him from really getting together w akio until much later

he comes off as very suave and extroverted when you first meet him, but underneath it all, he’s actually really warm, personable and funny: not that anyone outside the team know that 

aliens on social media, probably: god, the blue paladin is so cool... i bet he’s amazing and awesome and eloquent...

meanwhile, alvaro: do u guys think i could fit my whole hand in my mouth or nah?

enjoys memes, and shares this love with kiki

basically an all around great guy. because he often felt like a seventh wheel at the beginning of the formation of the team, he always tries to include everybody as best as possible, going way out of his way to ask after people, even if they forget to ask about him sometimes :’)

Natia Nanai

first off: what a gorgeous name. seriously. incredible kudos, my dude. anyway on to the head canons for this gorgeous girl

probably alvaro’s soulmate. already mentioned this, but it needs reiteration. they are best friends

had a large family too (not as big as alvaros tho) and probably major relate to him with that big family dealio

v close with kiki. they complete each other on a technological level. 

natia is very, very creative. she and her sweet engineering know how are always instrumental in getting the Team out of tough situations

Akio: theres no way out of this we’re going to die -

Natia: bet?

she does say “bet” a lot. like, almost too much? but she's always right and valid when she says it

the villain: i’ve got you now!!!!

natia, under her breath: bet

the paladins, thinking: thank god, we’re saved

very soft but also badass as hell. she has a unique duality.

pulls a violet baudelaire: she puts that GORGEOUS hair up in a ponytail when doing work or whenever she has an idea

everyone on the team, regardless of sexuality, is low-key in love with her because she’s just so nice. no one can hate her. she's way too solid of a friend

speakinG of being a great friend: natia is 100% the secret keeper up in this bitch. everyone comes to her because they know she’s got the best advice around and will take their secrets to the grave

akio: idk man... alvaro is just rlly cute, u know?? but i can't tell him...

natia, thinking of alvaro literally whining to her about akio not even five minutes ago: christ

the mom friend. she always has all the things everyone needs on hand or in her lion, and she’s got it all going in terms of chore charts and family meals. she is the queen of figuring out times for team bonding and everyone loves her more for it

definitely started a board game night asap

she has a silent bravery about her that no one else can match. despite her trepidation, natia will always do what has to be done for the greater good. 

she is guided by her heart and her morals, and is easily the kindest person on the team

bc of this kindness, she is often the diplomat when conflicts arise between people on the team

she is seen by the general public (aka the galaxy) as a strong, morally righteous woman. kind of like rosie the riveter-esque??? she’s the symbol of justice and fairness. 

aliens: she's so... peacekeeping :0

natia, at kiki: throw me that wrench, or so help me god - 

basically, a queen who always considers everyone and works really hard to create a family, even when they're all so far from home :’)

Kiki Evans

generally over it tbh

“always tired, but always inspired” - kiki, on being asked why there were dark circles under her eyes

kind of standoffish. she’s not really about being nice, she's about getting the job done, and that can rub people the wrong way, since she is always the first to offer up the cold, logical solution

but underneath that, she’s just a computer science nerd who is loyal to a fault

she really is loyal. its almost dangerous sometimes, because she would put the universe in danger to save her friends, which actually comes into conflict with her typical cold, logical approach.

she has 0-1 sibling. she's every bit the single child. she cannot relate to living in a big family setting, and at first its hard for her to deal with before she warms up to everyone else on the team

she's a genius, and thus found school to be tedious. in fact, she got fairly bad grades, as she wouldn't do the work that she saw as pointless and boring

she is a meme connoisseur, and loves to quote vines, often assisted by alvaro

kiki, as they approach a giant black hole: HZZK

alvaro, catching on immediately: is... is that real???

she is a conspiracy theorist, for sure. the government is watching us all, trying to make sure we don't learn too much.... she’s sure of it, and akio is too

tbh, the first proper conversation she had with akio was about cryptids and how the government had hidden them from the public

she was friends w natia and alvaro from before, but it is akio she becomes closest with the fastest. in some ways, she feels more distant from natia/alvaro bc of how close they are with each other and  bc all of them have known each other for so long while akio is someone she got to know recently: he has no preconceptions about who she used to be, and she has none about him

plus, she and akio relate on many levels: both trans, both gay, both autistic, both theorists, and both loyal to a fault. she finds a real blood brother in akio :D

very openly gay. very. she's a space lesbian, and theres no denying it

kiki, meeting some random space girl: oh

kiki, moments later to akio: god I'm gay

akio, downing a glass of water but acting like its vodka or smthg: god, same

the public sees her as the cold and calculating techie, the brains of the operation

natia is her partner in crime. they finish each others sentences. they've got a tech connection going, babey

kiki: if we just cross-reference the zaiforge tunnel with the -

natia, nodding: particle consummator, of course we’ll get the perfect -

them, together: amount of energy!!!

everyone else: sorry wot

basically, she's a tech goddess with a splash of genius. she's uneasy and a bit awkward, but thats just bc she’s never been in a situation like this before. after literally 1 second with her, she opens up and is such a loyal friend. :’)

Akio Himura

wow this boy is gay and he knows it

he loves his parents (zahi, takashi, and ashanti) but god he will never admit it. not ever

alvaro, after listing his parents, 20 aunts and 100 cousins: and i love them all so much, with all my heart. what about ur family akio?

akio, not wanting to show weakness: they're nerds.

alvaro: um okay cool good talk haha :)

akio, internally: but i love them nd would die for them tbh... but i can't show weakness

he's so guarded after his biological parents left/died/disappeared. poor boy

definitely a single child, and definitely adopted

his parents love him SO MUCH. so much.

akio: why do i have three parents, dad?

takashi, almost crying: its simple. u deserve so much love, that it couldn't be contained in just two people. we needed three. its how its gotta be, my beautiful, sweet summer child

a yeehaw kind of guy. he grew up in the midwest riding horses before his biological parents died and theres a piece of him that will always be a southern boy

the kind of kid in school that pretends he’s a delinquent, but actually just has the aesthetic of a delinquent, and is truly soft

akio: hell yeah I'm a rebel. i logged onto disney.com without my parents permission

kiki, choked up: so brave

mothman is his love. his passion. all cryptids, for that matter. kiki is more of an all around conspiracy theorist: akio is in it for the cryptids 

he’s a bit awkward, and doesn’t totally understand all social cues/jokes. because of this, he stays away from memes, and is very guarded when meeting new people, especially after experiences with light bullying for not only his social ineptitude, but his upbringing.

considering that, his first meeting with alvaro was supremely awkward, and akio accidentally fought with him multiple times before they established a solid friendship

akio, having a gay panic: you are the light of my life

alvaro: sorry what??

akio, panicking more: I said, you wanna fiGHT WITH A KNIFE???

he pined after alvaro from basically day one, but had the foresight to actually know that he was pining, unlike alvaro who just floundered

of course he would never say anything

he is a stabby boi. he is unrivaled in swordplay, and enjoys routine. his natural affinity for picking up new skills plus his unrivaled work ethic basically DESTROYED everyone else when it came to swords

he’s loyal af and is always the first one to take action. akio is a “do something. do anything, but do it fast before we lose a chance to do something” kind of guy

the general public sees him as the fiery one: he’s the one with the fanciest footwork in a fight, and he’s very good with battle tactics. he can come thru with that strategy at the perfect times

he's a low-key emo. for sure. he loves MCR, but strangely dislikes other similar artists like p!atd and fob. 

kiki: but...brendon urie, akio....

akio, sipping tea: as a gay, i can appreciate the aesthetic. but no one can compete with MCR

kiki, exasperated: its not a competition -

basically, a slightly guarded boy with a real talent for defending the universe and his friends, but also an emo cowboy mess who is in love with alvaro and loves everyone :’)

WELL THAT ENDED UP LONGER THAN I EXPECTED. I HOPE U ENJOY AAAA

ALSO FOLLOW @voltronuniversaldefender !!!! its amazing, guys, really check it out :D

[asiryn]

so hey.......y’all remember when i said that sometimes, just for fun and the hell of it, i make lists of “endgame” ships in my fandoms? bc yeah, that’s a thing that i do sometimes. XD

having now finished kh3, i’ve finally finished my endgame ship list for kh, and i figured that it might be a fun thing to share!

the actual list i’m gonna put behind a cut, bc it’ll be hella long (bc seriously.....i put about 95% of the characters into ships, and this includes all of the humanoid-ish disney characters too (barring most of the villains, bc....well, those characters are dead)), but before that, i’ll give you some....idk, context behind this list. 

keep in mind, this entire affair is just like........gonna involve a fuck-ton of indulgence on my part. and most of this is fairly light-hearted. most importantly of all, this is pretty much a self-challenge: i paired up the majority of the characters just to see if i could, with the additional challenge that i could only pair them with characters that actually, canonically, have appeared in kh (this means that i couldn’t substitute in other final fantasy or disney characters); i did this to see how creative i could get with my ships, really. 

idk if i’ll ever actually get around to writing fanfic for this verse (tho i do have a lot of headcanons, and i’ve actually put (probably far too much) thought into how i think these ships would work/come about, and my long-suffering friend Ip, bless her, has been an incredibly good sport about being a sounding board for all this), but i tend to refer to it as my “Healing Vision”, and it’s basically a post-kh3 AU, that presumes that everyone but xehanort (and also eraqus) got to live happily ever after. and this verse is so named bc, apart from everyone being able to heal and be happy after the traumatic canon, i also wanted to do my absolute best to put them in.....idk, healthy ships, and not ones that i think would be more toxic. everyone had redemption arcs, is what i’m saying (even if they never did or would have gotten them in canon).

y’all don’t understand, at this point i probably have over a hundred pages in various word docs of notes about this verse, so please feel free to ask if you want to hear more about it, i need validation of my madness---

anyway, here we go!

just so that there isn’t just a massive wall of text, i’m gonna break this up into roughly 2 sections: square/original kh characters, and then the rest of the disney characters.

Square/original KH characters:

Olette/Xion/Namine/Sora/Riku [OXN, SoNami, & SoRiku], Shiki/Kairi/Selphie, Axel/Saix, Hayner/Roxas, Terra/Cinderella, Aqua/Larxene/Yuffie, Repliku/Vanitas, Ven/Beat [more friends w/ benefits], Xigbar/Luxord, Aeleus/Even, Ienzo/Demyx, Sora’s Mom/Dilan, (Cinderella’s) Prince Charming/Marluxia, Geppetto/Ansem, Tidus/Wakka, Zack/Cloud/Leon, Aerith/Tifa, Cid/Auron, Fuu/Tinker Bell, Seifer/Rai, Jack Sparrow/Setzer, Boo/Vivi [platonic], Rikku/Paine, Yuna/Elsa, Neku/Joshua, Rhyme/Snow White, Hiro/Pence, & Eraqus/Xehanort [together in death]

i have no idea what’s going on with the khux characters going forward, and atm they don’t really have anything to do this AU, but assuming they’re alive and they’re all their own characters, at least for the time being, those ships would be: Skuld/Strelitzia, Ava/Ephemer, Invi/Ira/Aced, Gula/Brain, and Sephiroth/Master of Masters (but again, these are more tentative, and i don’t actually care about these characters, really)

Disney characters:

(again, keep in mind that these are only the humanoid or really anthropomorphic characters; ones that are straight up animals, like simba for example, were not included)

Mickey/Minnie/Daisy/Donald/Goofy [M/M, D/D, MinDaisy, & qpt Donald/Goofy], Horace Horsecollar/Pete, Clarabelle Cow/Clara Cluck, Hercules/Meg, Tarzan/Jane, Aladdin/Jasmine, Ariel/Eric, Belle/Beast, Lumiere/Cogsworth, Will/Elizabeth, Quasimodo/Phoebus/Esmeralda, Kristoff/Anna/Rapunzel/Eugene, Maleficent/Aurora/Mulan/Shang/Phillip [Malora, Philora, Mulora, Mulan/Shang, Phillip/Shang], Alice/Wendy, Peter/Wendy [qpt], Peter/Tinker Bell [qpt], (BatB) Chip/Pinocchio, Anastasia/Chien Po, Yao/Prince (from Snow White), Ling/Drizella, Merlin/Yen Sid, Hades/Genie, Mrs. Potts/Flora, Merryweather/Triton, Hook/Smee, Doc/Grumpy, Blue Fairy/Dopey, Fairy Godmother/Happy, Fauna/Bashful, Slightly/Cubby [platonic], Calypso/Barbossa, Sam Flynn/Quorra, Queen of Hearts/Agrabah Merchant, (BatB) Wardrobe/Gibbs, Emperor/Sleepy [his cuddle-cubine, if you will], Grand Duke/Sneezy, Mike/Sulley, Woody/Buzz, Honey Lemon/Go Go, Wasabi/Fred, Baymax/Tron/Baymax, & Phil/Zeus

Assorted Notes:

- should probably mention that all the worlds are just vaguely All Connected Now

- ven and hercules dated in bbs (then the Plot happened, ven pretty much vanished, and eventually herc moved on. they’re a bit awkward with each other now, but they agreed it’d be too weird to even attempt to date now, bc herc outgrew ven while he was in a magic coma)

- zack’s alive bc they forced hades to resurrect him like he did with auron (my hc is that the deal he made with cloud in kh1 was to bring zack back to life, but hades reneged on this; when cloud finally shared this info with sora, a Quest was undertaken to get hades to honor the deal)

- repliku’s name in this verse is Kiru (he decided to go along with the Theme, minus the sigil); sora’s mom is named Hikari; and i’m going with henry and florian for the real names of prince charming and snow’s prince, respectively (marluxia will probably still call henry “charming” as a sort of affectionate and kind of joking nickname (bc in this verse, henry is the definition of a Disaster Gay))

- goofy and pete dated in the past, but broke up with goofy came out as aroace; pete’s still kinda bitter about it

- aqua/larxene/yuffie is 100% a thing bc i feel that aqua deserves to be able to have fun and not be the responsible mom friend for once; aqua and cinderella also have some playful flirting, but it’s never really serious

- terra’s getting a staycation with his girlfriend, and aqua’s getting a vacation with her girlfriends 

- olette/xion/namine/sora/riku is Peak indulgence for me; i love namixiolette, sonami, and soriku too much to want to choose between them? fuck it, they’re all smushed together in a poly pile now. this is my indulgence fic, i can do what i want, and none of you can stop me XP (the other sub-ship combos, riku with any of the girls, and sora with the other two girls, are more queerplatonic, ftr)

- there’s like a whole soap opera behind mickey/minnie/daisy/donald/goofy coming to their current arrangement, mostly bc the idea of giving all the Drama to these characters in particular amuses me; same with past goofy/pete

- a recurring Theme in this verse is that compulsory heterosexuality is the true darkness, and pretty much no one is straight (and so, light = gay) (this is how the final confrontation in kh3 truly went down: sora: kingdom hearts, is gay! / xehanort: shit...u right, bro. kk, lemme just fade into the light of gay with my bf then)

- sephiroth in this verse is mostly just a vehicle for me to be able to mildly punish terrible lightside mentors, so this ship with the MoM is kinda a cracky spite ship (before kh3 went all in on xehaqus, this was eraqus’s original fate XD)

- i will admit, gula/brain is mostly just me going, “you both really annoy me, and i don’t care to find you better ships, so you two can deserve each other”; to be fair to myself, this attitude was on the rarer side during this process

- hiro totally builds a robot body for tron to use to visit the outside world, tho he still chooses to live in the computer most of the time; tron’s besties with baymax 1 & 2

- i’ll be honest: scrooge, huey, dewey, louie, chip, dale, and possibly jiminy, by my rules, should have been put into ships. they’re not bc i couldn’t find any that worked for me *shrugs*

- phil is more like zeus’s on and off again boyfriend; he’s really fucking annoyed that he keeps having to train a lot of zeus’s offspring, and that he kinda, in a way, ends up doing more parenting for them than zeus does; currently phil is kinda claiming herc away from zeus (”i’m his dad now, so there”) (so at this point, their relationship is more of a hatemance than anything else) (i guess in my hc, zeus skews more towards being like his myth self than the disney version)

- the total number of ships, if you’re curious, is 75

- i’ve actually got queer headcanons for the square characters (excluding the khux squad), and some of the disney characters, figured out (as an example, namine is a demiromantic asexual)

okay, i think i’ll stop here for now, tho of course i might tweak or add things later XD

[artificialqueens]

Grotesque and Amazing Ch. 2 (Trixya) - Juniper

Summary: Trixie learns that money can’t buy happiness, as she and Katya get tangled up in a complicated love web. Female! War and Peace AU.

A/N: If you know anything about W&P, it’s that there’s a lot of interaction with many characters. So, again, check the tags every time! I hope all of the switching between past and present makes sense. 

A hiss made Trixie fall onto her bed in laughter.

“Shit, that’s hot,” Tatianna cursed, angrily blowing on the slice of pizza in her hand. “I will never accept extra cheese as a topping. Why can’t you be a normal vegetarian and ask for pineapple or spinach or something?”

Trixie stuck her tongue out at her best friend, who was sitting in her circle chair, frowning.

It was tradition for them to have these sleepovers. They loved to totally geek out with face masks, magazines, and movies. Their ritual had seen the fall of video stores and the rise of Netflix, and now it was easier to check out Cosmo’s snapchat story than to pick up a physical issue.

When she still lived outside of the city, Trixie woke up every morning before daylight to catch the bus. There was a girl who always sat alone with her backpack on the seat next to her. Her long, black hair was always pulled into a sleek ponytail, and no one bothered her.

In third grade, the rumors about Trixie’s mom escalated, after a small argument with one of the ladies in church. Two girls in front of her stood on their knees to look over the seat, and all their friends watched in amusement as she ridiculed Trixie.

“My mom says that your mother is a whore,” one taunted.

Ponytail Girl had apparently been listening, because she got up and quickly tore the bully down. Her words poured out fast and razor sharp. The group recoiled, tears in their eyes. She dropped her backpack on the floor and sat next to Trixie.

“Don’t worry, no one will bother you anymore,” she said matter-of-factly. “I’m Tatianna.”

They’d been best friends ever since.

When Trixie told her about her father, she could almost see Tati shrugging over the phone.

“I mean, that sucks, but he was a dick. Did I leave my curling iron at your place?”

It was the only time that Trixie had allowed herself to cry during the whole situation. Not from sadness, but because she was so thankful to have someone that didn’t cut corners around her.

Tatianna splayed across the hot pink bedspread, relentlessly clicking the button on the remote. She was flicking through the titles on Netflix, groaning as they moved to each new category.

“Why do I feel like we’ve seen literally everything on here?” She huffed. “I’m gonna gag if you make me watch The Princess Bride again.”

“It’s a classic.”

“Since you’re like a zillionaire now, Trix, why don’t we splurge on some Redbox? I’ll drive.”

                                                    —————-

Katya narrowly caught the teddy bear before it connected with her face.

“Sorry, sorry!”

She looked across the room at Ginger, who was standing with her hands on her hips.

“If you don’t pay attention to me, I’m going to stick you in the ugliest maid of honor dress of all time.”

Katya knew it was selfish to not be focusing on her best friend, but these afternoons spent planning the wedding seemed to drag on for ages.

She wasn’t bitter, there had been plenty of time for her to adjust to the idea that her brother and best friend were very much in love. They were going to get married, buy a home, have kids. She could barely even stand half the bachelors and bachelorettes of their social scene; the thought of spending the rest of her days with one of them seemed unfathomable. Ginger seemed to read her mind, because she sat down next to her, resting her head on Katya’s shoulder.

“Maybe there’s something wrong with me,” she sighed. “No offense, but I’d rather eat rotten fish than be your cousin’s date to the wedding, no matter how handsome he is. I just can’t see myself being happy with any of our snobby friends.”

“That’s because you’re in love with the one with the freckles,” Ginger spoke, pointing to Katya’s dresser mirror. There was a photo stuck in the edge from her birthday party. Two bright smiles.

“Trixie Mattel? She’s like my sister,” she protested, frowning. What would make her say that?

“I’m like your sister,” her best friend continued, sporting a haughty look. “All these years, you’ve always talked about her with that twinkle in your eye. I know it when I see it.”

Katya rolled her eyes. Of course, Ginger, who had only ever been with one man, was a love expert.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. When do I get to taste cakes, again?”

Ginger relented and went back to her clipboard, while Katya kept a curious eye on the picture in the mirror.

                                                      ————–

“Hey, Trixie!”

“Oh, shit,” Tati whispered, hanging onto Trixie’s arm. “What the hell does Chachki want with you?”

They were standing in the snack food aisle of the grocery store, DVDs in her hands, chips in Trixie’s.

The girl who had called to her was sauntering over, her long hair swaying. Her heels clicked against the linoleum. She wore blunt bangs that ended right above her sharply arched eyebrows. Tatianna moved to the side to give them some privacy.

Despite being in the same classes since kindergarten, Violet Chacki had never spoken to Trixie. She was one of the most popular girls in school. Thin, pretty, and smart. She always wore the latest fashions and had the entire student body bowing at her feet. Violet was beautiful, and she knew it.

To say she was intimidating was to put it lightly.

“Um, hi, Violet. What are you doing here?”

She shook a paper bag in her hand. “I just came to pick up a prescription for my dad. You girls having a slumber party?”

It was then that Trixie realized that they were standing there in their pajamas. She felt her face heat up and crossed her arms over the cartoon cat on her chest. Violet smiled sweetly and pushed some dark hairs behind her ear.

“So, listen, I hope this isn’t out of line. I just wanted to offer my condolences about your father.”

“Oh, thank you, that’s very kind,” she said. Everyone knew her story, even Violet Chachki. Frankly, she was tired of discussing it. She wasn’t sure if she should feel guilty over that, but what possessed people to speak to her like some fragile doll? It would be better if no one said anything at all.

“Yes, well,” she started, reaching out to touch Trixie’s arm. Her pretty fingers were cold. “If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to reach out. I know we aren’t exactly close, but who knows, maybe that could change! It’s our senior year, after all.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Trixie could make out Tati obviously eavesdropping, pretending to be deciding between two flavors of dip.

“That would be really cool, Violet. Thanks. I’ll see you at school?”

“Sure,” she said, leaning in to press a quick kiss to Trixie’s cheek. “Maybe I could even come to the next sleepover.”

As she walked away, Trixie batted her eyelashes at her fading silhouette, smiling widely.

“Give me a break, Trix.”

“What?” Trixie sighed. “She seems so nice. Maybe we’ve been misjudging her all this time. I think she just looks mean.”

“Ah, yes, a classic case of the Resting Bitch Face,” Tati said sarcastically. She rubbed at the lipstick print on her friend’s cheek. “She’s a notorious flirt. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was trying to snatch your inheritance money.”

“Don’t be petty. Maybe she really does like me.”

Tatianna rolled her eyes, but decided to let it go.

“And I really like toaster strudels. You can cool off in the frozen aisle, come on.”

                                                         ———–

If Trixie ever thought her life was hard, she could find solace in the fact that she wasn’t alone.

Tatianna’s parents had split up when she was just a kid, and her mother packed up everything to start a new life in France. For several years, she’d ask Tati to join her, but she never agreed, and finally she gave up. Trixie thought of her own mother, and couldn’t imagine their relationship being reduced to postcards and infrequent phone calls.

It wasn’t as if there was this great life that Tatianna was clinging to. The city was alright, sure, but France always seemed more glamorous to Trixie.

Her father was not aging well, and every few months that Trixie saw him, he seemed to be getting worse. He would drift off in the middle of sentences, fall asleep every time he sat down. His once charming nature became replaced with bitterness. His wife had left him, and his friends were all moving on or passing away. So, Tati endured the verbal abuse. She let his derogatory comments bounce off her, pretended not to see women sneaking out the front door in the early hours of the morning. Other than Trixie, all her friends became too scared to visit, lest they encounter the crass old man. She gave up hope of ever getting asked out on dates, the reputation preceding her.

Tatianna couldn’t leave him, though. If she did, he would have no one left, and she would never be able to forgive herself. Beneath her brave exterior, she was very protective of those she loved.

Which was why she grew increasingly annoyed every time Trixie bailed on her to hang out with Violet Chacki.

Despite Tatianna’s mixed feelings, it seemed that Violet did genuinely like Trixie. They had economics together, and on the first day Violet took the seat next to her without hesitation.

Trixie liked the way she took notes. Only writing with fine point pens, drawing colorful bubbles around pertinent information. She was a little highlighter happy, but it was endearing.

She liked the way she could tell the second that Violet came in the room. Half the class greeted her, and yet she still chose to sit with Trixie every day. With her pointed, painted nails, and vanilla perfume.

They were partners for the first major project of the semester, and they ended up not getting any work done the first three times they tried, getting too distracted by laughter, and falling asleep together in Trixie’s bed.

“You’re the funniest person I know, Trix.”

Violet won homecoming queen by a landslide, and as Trixie sat up in the bleachers with Tati, stuffing their faces with nachos, she could swear that Violet was smiling at her when they placed the crown on her head.

Truthfully, she had always been a bit of a hopeless romantic. It was hard not to be, being raised so close to her grandparents, who lived life like an old Hollywood movie. Like any place was paradise so long as they were together. No matter her mother’s situation, Trixie still believed in love.

Her faith was reaffirmed when Violet proudly introduced her as her girlfriend to her father. They were having dinner at her house, and he nodded kindly, shaking her hand. No one had ever actually asked to make it official, but she was too happy to care.

The house was large, and decorated fashionably. Violet was wealthy, though seemingly more modest about it than some people Trixie had met.

On the wall in the entryway, there was a framed portrait of Mr. Chacki, Violet, and another girl who looked to be a few years older. She was just as beautiful, with fire red hair.

“That’s my older sister,” she said. “She lives up north with her family. You’ll have to meet her sometime, I’m crazy about her. She’s my best friend.”

The months grew colder, and they only seemed to grow closer.

They were sipping on hot chocolate in Trixie’s living room, catching up on their favorite show. Wrapped up in large blanket, she rested her head against Violet’s shoulder, the sound of the TV just becoming nonsensical noise as she got lost in her thoughts.

She watched Violet, the way her chest rose and fell as she breathed. The way her lips seemed permanently fixed in a slight pout. Trixie’s heart picked up speed as she stared at them. It was still about an hour before her mom would be getting home, and she’d been debating doing this for weeks now.

They held hands as they strolled through the halls, left sweet kisses on noses and temples, but Trixie was ready to take the next step.

Though she couldn’t see underneath the fleece, she let her hand creep up to her girlfriend’s thigh, and leaned in, softly pressing her lips to the corner of Violet’s mouth.

She flinched and pulled away with a nervous laugh, leaving Trixie with a confused expression.

“Look, you’re gonna miss what Rafael is about to ask Jane-“

Trixie rolled her eyes and grabbed the remote, shutting off the TV. She sat up with crossed arms. She was both embarrassed and frustrated.

“What is it, Vi? Why don’t you ever wanna kiss me, or touch me, or anything? Don’t you like me?”

“I’m crazy about you,” she responded calmly. “There’s just no need to ruin a good thing by rushing. Sex isn’t everything.”

Of course, it wasn’t, but Trixie still couldn’t understand. She knew that Violet was not shy when it came to physical affection.

“I know that,” Trixie defended. “Taking it slow is okay, I don’t wanna pressure you into anything. But we’ve been together for months, and you kiss me like I’m your grandma or something.”

It was then that Trixie’s phone buzzed on the cushion in between them. It was Tati. They both stayed silent, watching it vibrate until the call went to voicemail.

Violet sighed and adjusted her bangs.

“I worry about that girl. You’re her only friend.”

“You’re her friend, too.”

“She doesn’t like me, Trixie. I’m not dumb.”

She fiddled with her shirt button at Violet’s words. It was true, there was no use denying it, but it still made her uncomfortable. Why couldn’t they get along for her sake?

“Look, I have an idea. Why don’t you take Tatianna as your date for that rehearsal dinner instead? You haven’t spent much time with her lately, and maybe she could even meet some new people.”

Trixie sighed. They’d been planning on going to the wedding together ever since she’d gotten the invitation in the mail several weeks prior. Ginger and Katya’s brother were finally tying the knot, and Katya had practically begged her to come. She couldn’t refuse.

She’d be surrounded by unfamiliar faces of a different class, and she supposed it wouldn’t hurt to have Tati there as her lifeline.

Violet checked her own phone, and frowned at something on the screen that Trixie couldn’t see.

“It’s getting late, I’d better go. Don’t be mad at me,” she sang sweetly. Trixie cursed herself; she knew she’d be won over by her charm again. “I’ll leave you with this.”

She breathed into Trixie’s mouth, kissing her tenderly. As soon as it begun, it was over, and Violet was steadying her heels into the carpet so that she could slip her feet inside.

Trixie sat there on the couch for thirty minutes more, wondering why it felt like nothing.